Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Baby Pool Full of J**z

Episode Date: May 21, 2012

Comedian Joe List returns to join the crew. @YKWDPodcast @robertkelly @dansoder @kellyfastuca www.facebook.com/ykwdpodcast http://ykwdpodcast.tumblr.com/ Special Guest: Joe List @JoeListComedy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un duvena que de Maú, a Madrid. Hey, this is Robert Kelly.

I want to welcome the two new podcasts on riotcast.com. The Bailey J Show and Weird Medicine with Dr. Steve, two of my favorite fucking podcasts are now on riotcast. If you don't know about these shows, you should. Make sure you go, subscribe, leave a review, and become a fan. They're fucking amazing. Along with all the other shows on Ryecast, Mad Scientist Party Hour, my wife hates me, Jim Florentine's comedy Metal Midgets. The glory hole comedy seller live from the table, why you suck in bed. The Jersey jerks hammer fisting and you know what dude, we are the

fucking most incredibly diverse, funny, holy shit comedy network on the internet. I'm excited that these shows just joined us. Make sure you support us and support all the shows. Okay, we do this shift for free every fucking week for you, motherfuckers. So all you have to do is support us. Go to iTunes, subscribe, leave a review, and spread the word. Bailey J, Matt, Dr. Steve, thanks for joining the riot. Alright, guys, here's your little Joe list list. Give us a little thing. You listening. You're listening to you know what dude podcast

Is that what I'm doing? He really just did I'm wrong Joe list you listening to you know what dude? Did I do it right podcast? starring Robert Kelly co-starring Dan Soder, and featuring Kelly for Stukas. On riotcast.com. On riotcast.com. On what?

Riotcast.com. What do you fucking the count of money, Chris? Rude, boss. Who like a total pussy? I got a double money. Bobby Kennedy for a second. I-A-A-R-R-I-A-R-I-Cast. If you're a fan of, you know what, dude, you're only getting half the fun.

Check out Robert Kelly Live on stage June 21st, 22nd and 23rd at the Comedy Club in Webster, New York. He'll also be coming back home to Boston for a very special show at the Wilbur Theatre. Pre-Sales are available now. That show is August 18th. Go to RobertKellyL Live.com for tickets and information. Also check out the one and only monster voice Dan Soder. Roo! Comics at Foxwood Resort and Casino in Connecticut that's May 31st through June

1st. You can get tickets and information at Foxwoods.com. Check them out, support them, buy some tickets, dude. Hey gang, this is Colin Quinn. This is Jim Norton. This is Dennis Leary. This is Opie from a lot of things. This is Bert Kreiser. Staying cooking, you are listening to Robert Kelly's You know what dude? You know what that is! This is Robert Coney's You Know What That Do! You Know What That Do! You Know What That Do! You know what that is!

You know what that is! You know what that is! You know what that is! You know what that is! You know what that is! You know what that is! You know what I mean? We'll have some cheese and ham and maybe some horse meat for Kelly.

I root meat! They eat kangaroos. I know. Fucking. Are you really? Your dad's a butcher? Yeah. Oh, that's even fucking better. You really cracked that code.

Yeah. Which is daughter. Wait a minute. your dad isn't. Can you tell a fucking list how to fucking be on a podcast? Maybe talking to the microphone. I don't know where you're recording. I thought we were fucking recording. Yeah, recording.

I don't fuck around. I get the good stuff. I get you when you're up to, when you're not on your toes. Now, now we're getting the, yeah, you can pull, you can lean back bro. You can pull that right up to you. It's the new, the new. It truly does look like a dad trying to be on a podcast right now. That's that.

So I just, hang on, what's happening? I couldn't hear you because they're fucking talking. You're supposed to be able to use these controls. Yeah. To control this. Really? Yeah. Yeah, we already started the podcast.

No, those go. Yeah. Yeah, we're not as fucking anal as you Welcome to Still can't I still can't do it then you can do it. You don't want to do it. You know what dude podcast? You can do it if you can do a fucking under the giant Podcast you can do it if you can do a fucking under the giant Macho monument and the end fat Kelly you you got impressions out of your asshole anybody I can just whip it up sexy Bob Kelly go You know what No, that's not it. You know what dude.! What is it? It's dude! You know what?

Dude! That's it. Do you know what dude podcast? There you go. I did it! It's like a singing teacher. Oh, give me a bowl. A debone.

A debone. A femur from a femur. Oh. We're all sitting here while Nome's watching us his apartment and his house. We're just doing a podcast, like it's uncomfortable. There's gonna come in your place to do a podcast. He's gonna go, you know what? I don't like this.

Ooh, I'm plug everything. I heard a little bit of the product and new. We got Kelly Fistuka. Yeah, that's me. Ah, AKA. Making cheesy. Satin Kelly. for still go yeah that's me aka making TV fat Kelly and the truth and the truth is back truth Joe list oh boy the fucking tall glass of water

fucking he's a blast in fucking that's what I watch fucking clock seconds trying to make it me I love joke because when I texted before the show and said I didn't want me to and clock seconds trying to make it new. I got South Shore fucking Joey List. I love Joe, because when I texted before the show and said, I didn't want me to grab him anything, Joe was so delicate with his answer. He's like, can I maybe get a green tea? Is that OK?

Is that OK? So delicate. No one's ever gotten anything for Joe before. He's a sweet little boy. Never to have success, Joe. That's OK. That's being interesting. Somebody got in something for Joe before

it's called fucking herpes. Yeah. Hey, right out of the park. Yeah. for Joe's words, called fucking herpes. Yeah. Yeah. Right out of the park. Yeah. Yeah. Case I heard this. And we're off.

Bobby just fucking slammed a champagne bottle on the ship that is the new to what dude studios. He's christened that motherfucker. Oh. Well, we are in the new, the new, you know what dude studios aka comedy saw live studios aka No more dorm in the owner of the comedy seller who's watching me right now What are you gonna do you gonna say to sit in the chair relax watch you come on the show?

Say five minutes just sit down and let help us explain what we did Why do you do that sit next to Cali for a second? Really you're sitting there staring I don't know bother in the man. No, is the fucking coolest mother. Is he gone? Oh, no, I don't like that. Why? Oh, what's the idea me leaving? Doesn't like me. I know it. No What did you do?

I'll leave is it Joe no Dan is fucking out on the way down You guys think that's I'm not in trouble here, right? You're in trouble. What did I do? Oh good? Both Dan and I are sincerely shitting our pants, right? Yeah, both. Both Joe and I are on the ropes. Like Joe, I'm not even working. Yeah, well, here's the deal.

We have a studio. We have a legitimate, you know what, dude? Studio now with microphones and everything. No more setting up and then, and then, and then, and then, puttin' down and tearing up, or whatever they say in the business how do they say it?

I'm not a carny. I don't know how to set up a Ferris wheel. I don't know the terms he looks at me and he's like when you guys are smoking meth and putting together a roller coaster. What's that called? Not yet, man. Shut your stupid mouth.

That's on your way down. We uh there's I convinced Kelly is a guess wait my downfall No I'm not Let's see your guess wait let's see how good you'd be Ah that's good We need guess wait Look at the carnival that's what you do with the carnival Ah wait I think the carnival guy We can guess Kelly's wait Yeah

Oh alright How the fuck it do it? She's a bugger She did I don't give a fucking shit The duck 50 pounds Yeah She's like

Fuck it Oh wait Oh wait 3-wit cooler bits Ha ha ha ha ha It's a sickly full-grown cooler Yeah I'm real sick She pounds, she's like, oh wait, oh wait, three-wit coolabes. It's a sickly full-grown cooler. Yeah, eyebrows, you do it. So, oh my God, you even put your children in. I don't know if you're trying to go your face guess or you do that.

Crackle, I don't know how to do podcasts. You just said, look at Dan's eyebrows. That's fun for the listeners. Well, you know what? Sometimes we don't do the listeners. This is for us. A lot of this is for us. That's fun for the listeners. Well, you know what? Sometimes we don't do this with listeners. This is for us. A lot of this is for us.

We have, you're all right? We have, let me just get this out here. We got a new studio. We had a table built. How great is this? Some believe it. Fucking awesome. We built this table.

Yeah. So we're out of my kitchen. So in the year this podcast went from around 100 listeners on my iPhone by myself in a fucking coffee shop, right? To my kitchen, right, with a Yeti microphone and then to actually a nice little fucking kind of studio at my house Now we actually have a fucking place to go to call it. We have a home now, okay? Finally found a home. We have a home. I'm sad that I hope he really was we could be heroes

Go Oh, God, you lose B-sides? Yeah. I love you, you would lose. Kelly was on her fucking money. She'd be fucking playing some music right now. Oh, sorry, I forget it. Don't do it. You fucking slowed fucking Dutch finger. Hi.

I'm gonna use that. What are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what'll go, hi, Dawn. You know what? Everybody I've told that we got this new studio. Everybody's like, ah, that's gonna suck that your wife's not gonna come in and the dogs. And like everybody loves that about the fucking show. I do like watching the guests get jacked right in the back when Donald opens the door. I'm gonna miss that. They get uncomfortable.

It's like I was white here. We were just talking about fucking putting bandanas in our ass. That was my first year. Yeah, well, what do you get there? Oh god Kelly? Just do it plug it in just do it quick. Just do it. Where I get in go one two three Guys God

Happy son God done it. I should have told you this before you. He's huh To bring the tip he's really came at least in my words. Oh, it's Christ. What's That's at least your worries That's fucking gross I wish I heard we'll be back in five minutes Joe and Bobby are gonna go rub weenies in the bathroom see if they can get something going oh man rub weenies Is that gay or just is that fun? I don't know but that because it a gay. Yes, we need rubbing. Did you hear that fucking? Oh god

I feel so bad for them John should vote. Oh, yes. Oh, I'll go. So I love some dick. You heard Yeah, I'm asking the new comics that they heard some Topical stuff of course we have I've done jokes about it I'm asking the new comics that they heard some topical stuff of course we have I've done jokes about it I went out of the fucking closet hut and I did a new 10 minutes on John to roll to get milk It's called the chuckle basement. What did he do? He just grabbed a massage guy He did what every guy does in a massage parlor an asian one with a woman. He did it with a guy Yeah, basically he helped me basically, he opened up his asshole, rolled over with a nice fucking hard one with some pre-sem coming out of it, and then tried to get a belly rub.

So South Park was a ride a little long? Well, it's been saying it for you. He's legitimately gay. Yeah, but he was talking about how you got to blow people in this business and stuff. Yeah, they said that testimonial came out as a guys thing. Like he said, like he wasn't gay when he first did it in the taste of come, used to make him gag. Yeah.

But now he's set up done things that make everyone throw up. But then wait a minute, stop. Hold the fucking horses. Are you adding this? No, this is what happened to you to get in the cellar. Well, I'm sorry. Yeah. We're the one that got me in, Bobby.

Oh, hey. Hey, oh, you're the one that got me in Bobby Oh W what would Tyler Durdon do dot com W W TDD? She's I'm already on it. You can go to CNN dot com is like national news Yeah, that's your national news That's what it sucks. Yeah, when you go when it winds up on CNN and it's that's like legitimate your gay that the fact check Yeah, like they're like celebrity gossip sets. It's, guess who is trying to beat off a male prostitute? Like, CNN's like, he didn't say he was gay, he said he like sucked dicks to get far in

show business and stuff. If you're second and dick, come on. Can I just say something? No, no, I'm not saying that. That makes you not. If you're a chick and you're like, you know, looking at other girls, then that's, and you're still with guys, that's bisexual, but if you're a guy, it's gay. You know, I just say something like, Kelly, listen, listen to me, okay, that's you and you still with guys that's bisexual but if you're a guy it's gay I just say something Kelly listen listen to me okay

That's fine and dandy that he sucked dick to get somewhere But now he has a fucking a jet at his house. Yeah, you're there. Yeah, no need to suck dick anymore Hey buddy, you're you have a plane a 747 that drives up to your door. You're good Yeah, if you're sucking dick now Dicks for a plane really you. I sucked dick for a plane. Really? You'd suck a dick for a plane. My own plane?

I'd suck a dick for a helicopter. Yeah, but wait a second, if you're gonna suck dick for a plane, you're gonna suck dick for the gas and all the maintenance. And the guy that flies in the pilot? Well, I guess the money to have a plane, well, he flies it himself. He's a pilot.

Yeah, so maybe he's not suck dick for a plane. That doesn't make sense. If I had my pilot license. So maybe I suck dick for a point. If I had my pilot license, I'm sucking dick for a point. But would you suck dick? Would you really suck dick to to to get that much money? Well, dick just to plain. Dick is like also the play. It's like deer. It's also the plural. Like how many dicks is dick? 17. 17 to completion. 17 to completion. In a row,

nobody knows until the last dick. Well, well, well, that In a row? Nobody knows until the last tick. Well, well, well, that's, and they only know about the last tick. And I get a private plan. How long do I get the plane for? I get the private plan, but you don't get shit with it. You just get the plane. No, yeah, I can't.

That's useless to it. I don't even know a place to put it. What do you, what do you need? I got a studio in store. Okay, here's a deal. What do you need with the plane? I need, I want plane. I want a, I want a private pilot.

You want a pilot? Stick, I can suck on the side if I want to. Okay. I like it. I do, you need a pilot. Just want, you need a private pilot you want to put a stick I can suck on the side if I want to if I stuck liking it Just want you need a cold pilot to I need to pilots you need to pilots what else? It's a lot of dicks you're racking up the dick. No, no, I'm not sucking their dicks This is what I'm getting. No, I'm talking about the dicks. You have to suck to get all this you're racking it up It's no no no I'm not sucking more dicks. I'm still sucking 17. Oh

17 was for the plane. I'm like in one dick for every Celtics championship kid Here's your second 17 cocks to get the plane. But what else do you need you need two pilots? I need two pilots I need lifelong guaranteed that a plan. I want to contract the plane is mine. What about fuel? I can go. it. The plane is yours. What else? You need to do it like long, limitless fuel. I mean, we're looking at, I mean, that's a lot of things. More than 17 decks.

I'm going to, what about it? Why? Bobby, can I praise this? I'm going to say, I mean, the cost of barrels, barrels of oil these days are just through the roof. Right. To get a reliable trusty pilot with a non-compete clause without a commercial airline. a nice G4 Gulf Stream. I'm looking at how was it gonna store it. And hangar? Yeah. You know what I'm looking at? I'm looking at the low side 72 dicks. 72 dicks. 72 dicks. 72 dicks. 72 dicks.

Two compilations. I'm a side to out of come. I got to do it in the same. That's a baby pool of come. Can I do it over the course? Why don't we do this? Why don't we have 72 guys jerk off into a baby pool and you drink it up. Oh, and then when you're finished with that, they get all gross. That's actually better than sucking the dick. No, I don't know.

We gotta drink the cum, either way. Stop, stay. Either way, you're drinking the cum. That's what you're gonna work for. He really has one of those fucking Japanese porn stars. It's like but they come on me not bad Here's a deal. This is why here's why that's gross because you're gonna look into that and you're gonna see who's sick Who drinks cranberry juice all the commas gonna be the same In your Greek yogurt I really like to fly

I find I find the joy of flight magical. At least you know it. Kelly, how many dicks would it take to get to the... For me to get that? Now she's gonna go low to make me look at her ass. Oh, I quoted it. I quoted it. How would you suck a dick for something?

But no, that's not fair. I'm legitimately at... Now this is what I'm asking. Would you legitimate...look at me. Would you look at me? I'm asking. Would you legitimate look at me? Would you look at me? I'm sorry. Would you legitimate, would you suck a cock for? So I'm not talking, I'm talking realistic shit,

like maybe on apartment for six months or a year, a free apartment for a year. Yeah, would. Yeah. Real wood? Yeah. Now here's a better question. And to Dan, you say you would.

That's like saying, that's like saying, that's like saying, would you eat a put, that's like to us going Dan, you say you would. That's like saying, you're crazy. That's like saying, you're a year. That's like saying, would you eat a put, that's like to us going, would you eat the girl out for a free apartment? That's not even a gamble for her. Yeah, but you gotta put it in. You should have to eat that.

You gotta put in the factors like, where is the apartment and what does the dick look like? What kind of dick is the body attached to? But what I'm saying is your head are a sexual, for all we know, you love sucking up. I wanna suck every dick, like I've not. I didn't say I wanna suck every dick. I'm gonna eat every day every pussy

but he's got a point yes you do I can get you you want to try you want to suck all the pussy you take a swipe at any pussy uh yeah I mean it's my track record it's hard to say

for the pound for a yak my resident is not pretty would you eat would you eat ass would you eat a fucking Justin? My ass. Bobby's ass. Listen, but I mean, really get in there.

Not Bobby's ass, but someone like me. Hang on, after shitting an hour special. That's actually more insulting. That is more insulting. Bobby, I hear hurt my feelings. You didn't even know my ass looks like. I can have a pretty ass. He's got a bad day.

I bet it's a nice ass. I have a great ass. My ass hole looks like nice. Would you eat my ass hole? Oh boy, that's sad. You don't want to go mad. I'll send you a belly button. I will need your belly button.

Yeah. I will need you. If you're a fucking a bucket of gold, the blue is true. I will need your fucking belly button. Let me just tell you this. Belly button is just a warm up for what happens back there. It is gross. Someone even described your belly button as like a hemorrhoid belly button. just a warm up for what happens back there. It is gross.

Someone even described your belly button as like a hemorrhoid belly button. That's perfect. The Tyler NorCal nailed it. But no, it wasn't. It was someone else. But yeah. How much money would a college you, Kelly? Yes.

To just jerk a guy off in public. Like is it money? Yeah. Oh, man. And he's ugly. How much would a cost to make you a whore? Yeah, what's your horror limit? What's your horror price? I

Want to say 10,000 but I think it'd be more than that For a fucking hand job, but then it won't wait, but I have a feeling that if it came to me I'll be like I get it a fucking jerk me off in front of you guys for a thousand No, no, I go five hours. I'm going for that too. I have a very bad summer. I go one gig. I'm bucket of chicken.

I'm your cow. I'm seeing it the Calune in July. You trying to fucking cock lock you Kelly. Joe's like 300. 300. I would let fucking Joe check me out. I've never worked a day in my life. Look at these things.

Look, he's got no calluses. Can I get him never picked any up? Joe, you've never had to roll up your sleeves before. So here's a deal. He got caught. He's in a massage. I mean, this first of all, this poor guy, you get that much money. You make that much money.

Look, look, you're a sex symbol in Hollywood. Is it a matter? He is what a lot of was dude. He still is not to your generation, dude. You're a lot younger to women in their 30 35 and up John Travolta is a fucking beautiful Gorgeous Cuddly angel, okay with a bum chin now now now he's bald, okay, which we all know he has a wig But we accepted that we kind of knew he was gay now. It's out there. He's fucking gay this guy's married with kids, okay? It's it's it's must be hard for this fucking guy now. He's going. He's trying to be a regular Joe getting a massage

You know if he could just be a homo be a regular Joe getting a massage. You know, if he could just be a homo, or if he could just be gay, he could just go suck cock and have fun. He could have all the dicks. He could have so much, so much dicks. If he didn't have to hide it, but he has to hide it because he has a wife.

He's in Scientology. Well, Scientology doesn't acknowledge homosexuals. Absolutely, so he can't be a homo. So he's got to go into these massage places and kind of roll the dice, you know, like we do. When I go to a fucking Ramada Inn and fucking call a lady over to give me a massage and she just gives me a regular massage, but there might be that one girl that fucking takes your cock and graces your nut.

And then, you know what I mean? You know, you go, oh God, that might happen. I know a girl will do it for 10 grand. Boom. Call back. I know a girl do it for 10 grand Call back I feel bad. I feel bad that he has to fucking be a claw. You know have to sneak around and then these rats These fucking rats fuck that they're trying to get paid. Yeah two million fuck you. You know Two million get your money really he's slapper on your dick like you're a piece of meat you get your money

They didn't even do anything Dan Fuck you. Here's you get to to mill if you fucking jerked your vote. I bet they did it's Travolta had they guarantee they did Let's get in the character trick me. Yeah, I bet one of them did something I bet one of them fucked them all. Well, here's a deal. Do you think two million dollars is worth that? What I mean Joe is sucking 72 dick for a plane. I said 17 you said 72 I called my 17 for an airplane. Just airplane bare bones. Yeah, no catering. I'll earn the game money. There's no seats in the plane He's not this way. You're getting a cardinal point. He's not he's not fucking sucking 72 dicks He's drinking fucking load a baby pool

Oh, oh, Jesus Joe off and he ended up during the day because the sun it would turn like And he jumped in it. He would look like a ghost busters to the Spoon in a newspaper Pair to my it just made me fuck it on us throw up uh... every news watch the swinger she must know

Kelly prison she must be a swinger like she must know that the dick on the side of the yeah latin pool boys and that's the that's the tradeoff like he gets to suck a dick i think i think i fucked by your but it turns around i don't think that I don't think that she

I don't she knows you don't No, she knows she knows Okay, I spoke to it she knows I'm serious. I don't think she knows Don doesn't know She's got to know. If you need help with those 72 digs, let me know. Trigger!

She's on third day. Hang on, let me help you. I'll take three through ten. You take a breather. Can't hide, Joe. We'll go up into each other and go. It's like a lady in the tram. Just bunch of digs.

That's funny. We call that pass in the baton. We are. You and your wh horror friends of your own window. Baking Australia when we're banging over tin dudes. We call that the real life. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god. When he went in and he's like trying not to be gay and he goes to the swing party and he starts, he's just look, look at me. Look at me and he's trying to get, he's like dude, I'm not a fucking fight. I'm not fucking fucking, you won't pussy, you get pussy. Other than that, get the fuck away.

And then he goes into the MMA ring. Vick Henley was in there. I know, Vick Henley was, that was fucking great. That was dangerous. It was dangerousickhandle was in there. I know, Vickhandle was. That was fucking great. That was dangerous. It was dangerous, but it was fucking great. If you watched him, he did a great one on the Oligis show where he was Bruno and he went to a gay converter. It's like my favorite sketch on the Oligis show ever.

But he asked the guy, he goes, I'm going to tell you something. If I can do it, it's Achnia. If I can do it, it's Nishnish. And the guy's like, all right, all right. What do you want to do? He's like, what if I hug my friend? And he's like, no, it's your friend.

That's an Achnia. You can do that. He goes, okay, but what if I want to take a shower with another guy? And he goes, well, you're sharing? That's fine. Achnia, but can I put his penis in my mouth? And he's like, no, that's a Nishnish.

And he just fucking gets the guy. We're finally goes, what about, like what if I'm with a Brazilian guy and I just sprites, but I'm ready to go again. And he's like, niche niche. Just losing his shit. The best sketch I'll ever show. How's it iPad?

Did I come up on there? It's good, but I need the Wi-Fi, because I think we're yearning late, because it's a new studio. We're still figuring out all the bumps. I love the new studio. We need to put the, I love. I love. I love Kelly. She's need to put the music in the thingy.

I love Kelly. The studio is the nicest thing I ever. She really is a second grade substitute teacher. She makes me. Well, when you're this like funny, you really got to crank up the... Oh! Now back to reality.

Oh, there goes gravity. He's so mad, but he... Oh, giant pieces. The truth speaks. I'm only kidding. I've never... I don't watch women comics Speaking of Kelly being funny you're supposed to get us your clip What you supposed to have your clip

If people see me I want people to be surprised when they come watch me live though because I'll ruin my material not that surprised How much material do you have fucking four minutes when you try to say that people are gonna be shocked and on When you go see your live performance and you spend time my back on this No, no, here's a deal. Yeah, man. Yeah, I've never seen you perform comedy You got on this podcast you we were making fun of the Australian accent. Me and Dan, you are tweeting. I found your tweets rather amusing. Oh, no, yeah.

You stopped making sounds. I mean, this is being recorded. It's a my. Who's. Sir. Oh, I don't need your fucking. That Kelly. It's just taking a nap.

You're nervous, Nelly. Fucking anxiety sounds. Meets and cleaners. But you got on the part. You now you're on the show, you came in, you're a sweet girl, you're funny, you're great. And um, but I've never seen you comedy, Kell. Yeah. So how am I supposed to say, yeah, she's hilarious.

I don't fucking know. Oh, it's something. Oh, that was such a different. That's good that you say that because Kell is doing a bringer in a couple of days. Where? No, no. I'm joking. It's a joke. That's good that you say that because Tell you doing a bringer in a couple days Given me Me Is that me I'm stepping on Joe

I love Joe that I love See it. I love what I What you do know what you don't know what you don't know. I don't even know. I've seen him perform. He's great I'm sticking by Kelly I think Kelly's I don't know your bustin balls here Jesus I'm gonna bust your balls back and I'm all I'm all back because if you go me I pretend that I can fight all right I'm able back off hit me'm all back because if you go me I pretend that I can fight all right I'm able back off because I get all in their face with black, you know, I will come right over there

Oh, I put your hippies on me. Oh, yeah Come on Kelly hey, I'm sorry people I'm sorry warts Well, that's just a good summer That's just a title to tell isn't it so are you gonna get us a tape? I really want I look yeah You don't now you not feel comfortable playing it on the show Well, I was supposed to get a good type when I was in North Carolina But I ended up being a bit of a fucking shit show. Sorry. What happened in North Carolina?

I was just like I can I know Chancellor Craigslist that like I can I know chance of the crags list that I was I don't know if you're alive I know it was not over on I say something this is this is this is what sucks at this point of your career when you Early on as that you really can't be you because you can't burn the bridge You can't say this gig sucked or this guy treated me like shit. Oh this blue or this person fucked me

Cuz you're gonna you you might need them. Like I can say, go fuck yourself. I'm never working in that club again. And it's not gonna affect me. You know what I mean? I can't do it all the time. I can do it a couple times. You know, the more famous you get,

like Louis CK, I'm not tweeting ever. I'm only promoting my shit, go fuck yourself, and I'm not following anybody. Nobody gives a shit for that. I can't do that. I'm not that famous. go fuck yourself and I'm not following anybody nobody gives him a shift for that I can't do that. I'm not that famous. I have to follow a few of these cock suckers How funny was it when we first started to that Joe never followed me on Twitter? I had it like That was spot that was fucking spot hunka. Yeah No, he still doesn't follow me

What he doesn't follow me? He's a piece of shit. I checked the other day. I was on Twitter. I was like I wonder if the Rose follows me Are you fucking kidding me? Bad person. I don't get that I should just tweet for a week. Just shit talk Deroza Followed for a day just to say something back and then it'll fucking yeah To have a follow for a day just to say something back and then he'll fucking yeah I probably doesn't follow me now. I probably unfollowed me that is like a power So that's it's such a country. Yeah, it's power like oh, I'll follow you while I would give you a direct message And then I'll unfold you fuck that shit. No, I made that up. You don't do that

Kelly's a little angry today Kelly I'm not. Tell me my friend. What's your name? Joe Lennon. Joe Lennon. Yes! Oh, I love comedy. I used to eat Joe.

I'm a premium blended 1984. No, you're on the A-list. Yeah. Bravo. You can't really, what I'm saying is that you really, you had a fuck, I'll say it. I'm gonna fucking say it. She had a, it was a, you know, she went all the way to North Carolina to do this festival. She paid a lot of money.

She fucking sacrificed a lot to get there. And it, you know, it wasn't as awesome as it could have been, you know. Some shit happened, which happens it shows. And that's like, I'm not a diva about that stuff. I know that shit happens and I can take it, and it's fine, I'm there to do a job. But sometimes things happen like, you know, cut in time, like you get, you know, you come there.

Cut in time. Cut in time, not because like I wasn't doing badly, like because that will run an hour time. And that's now, I even just saying it, I feel like a piece of shit. No, you should, because here's the thing, you traveled over nine hours in a car. I'm not complaining, Daniel. But who went long? Somebody went long. No, you should. Because here's the thing, you traveled over nine hours in a car.

But who went long? Somebody went long. Local's went long. And that's kind of fucked up. Because if you're a local, that's, you live there. That's like if we have someone, how does a local work? If you live somewhere, you're a local. Wait, hold on guys.

I got it. Let me really explain this. If you live in a place. Local is a location. Location. If you live in a location, and you go to that location, yeah, you're a local. Okay.

So I'm doing a scientific talk. I'm from New York. Yeah, and I go to Boston. You're not low, but you were raised there. So I'm a, I'm a, you're a double local. I'm a local. I'm a local. I'm a local.

I'm a local. I'm a local. That's great. Go ahead. So smart. So what does the, what does the yoke'll come in? Joe, that's going to be a whole different episode. I saw I always your point. I'm just saying it's fucked up that the locals cut her time for driving down there What's fucked up no matter where you're from if you go over your time your a douchebag? Yeah, you're I mean do you really believe that if you don't?

Significantly enough. He never done it. I've gone over my time But obviously I mean I've done fucking eight thousand sets, but I mean I've never gone over my time like fucking I mean, I've done fucking 8,000 sets, but I mean, I've never gone over my time like fucking. Exactly 8,000. 8,000, 60. That's how many dicks I think you need to do. You get your plane on the middle of the gas shelter for the plane to pilots.

Whatever it is. I need to fly. Do you want to fly to 10 on the plane with snacks? Oh, a good hater. Do you want to cater? One that would blow me, preferably. I'd like to have a little bit of dicks. I'm going to get blown out of the wall.

One you. That's another 200 dicks out. She's going to have to suck the cum of the other guys out of you. Yeah, oh, that's not all the dicks. Oh, so open them up like a C section of the spill out. Oh, God. And there are so many visuals today. What is happening?

All right, these headphones on. Thank you. All right. So let's start recording. So you. I know. We are. I love you. I love you. I love. We, I mean, it's real quick.

Right, we feel comfortable fucking in the studio. Do you like it? I love it. There's a lot of mandalins here for the people listening at home. Mandalins are actually a code word for Cox. A lot of dick. Mandalins are a Jewish, was it? It's a, is really guitar or something like that?

I don't even know if it is, I think. Well, no, I'm the guy, you know, owns a seller and the fact that if I was getting the underground, he's a insane musician. Yeah. You know, you know, and this building, I mean, this building is fucking historical. It's crazy.

This building. This where we're at right now, where the studio is at, we're in the West Village right now. Next to the Cafe Law, which is arguably one of the most historic musical venues ever. Oh, don't forget the comedy seller well yeah no saying it's first we're going first we'll probably be closer to your heart then fucking that I'm just saying you were talking about music they don't even own the cafe

while but it's next we're in the comedy you know the healthy danda to a god want you bring a moon neck my moon's do delicious Falafel So anyways we We Kelly what do you do it? What about what I'm doing I'm You know Robert I remember when you brought her on here she was supposed to be kind of a helper I'm doing something

And that, I am just calling Joe a herpy and festable. I have a bad taste in my mouth right now. And I don't know what it is. That's a guy's, you little thing called Ozzy out of tune. I want you to look at Buzz Chin next time. Right out of here, little Bruce. Right here, that's when I pushed your face to a bookshelf.

I pushed him, malin into a fight. That's like too accurate of the most I could be. It was too discreet. Yeah, I was like, uh, that's a lot of accuracy. You guys can actually be looking for that scar. I'm sorry. I'm like, hey, I'm sorry. I was actually setting the camera to still shot

because I want to take a picture of Joe because he's sitting like my dad right now with his legs knee up. He's actually sitting like he's talking about an album he just put out. I'm sitting comfortably. I don't want anyone to talking about an album he just put out Everyone to see what an idiot looks like I think you look fine. I just for some reason Kelly's got a He hasn't been dead against it on this episode My leg half crossed over here so my balls aren't to be Joe's great Joe's a real ballbuster I had the pleasure of like hanging out with you the other night for the first time ever. Like we've never really hung out.

Yeah, that's right. And he busted my balls. Same thing. He busted my balls into my time. I'm like, can you come with me to every set forever because you make everything so much more interesting? Oh boy. I have to tell you.

All right, so listen to that. That's very sweet of you. Whatever that fucking, let's heal our wounds. Or if that was. Whatever. I like Joey's a ball But I like you too That audio trust fall to this dude Listen Kelly, so you so you

Not one sexual thing either about Kelly I don't have one. I owe that. Leave that to the fans. Oh man, they are coming in. Well, we can see the photo I took you last night. Nice, Blake, backlighting. I was like, my ease freaked out, but I went, boo.

Just look at what happened to her. We're going to have to get a black comic on the show soon. She's just going to be swooning. Just look at what happened to her. I don't have to fucking go. We're gonna have to get a black comic on the show soon. Yes. She's just gonna be swooning. Just for Kelly to bring Keith back. Toiling my hair out. Swooning me fucking riding his cock while we're doing the show. I'm just like,

Erie, erie, erie. Kelly, so you went there, you had a bad time, right? It was fine. It was fine. It was fine. I just wish I could have done more with the time. How many shows did you do? I did three over three nights.

Three nights, and did you get cut every night? No, the second night I didn't get cut, but there was about four audience members. Really? And you still went on. Yeah. How'd you do? That was okay.

That was fine. I love you on comics. It was okay. I did good. You knew comics never do bad. My clothes are stinks. All my clothes. And it's the clothes I've been using for for about two months now, and it's the one that it's a one Joke that comics come up to me and go I love that joke that's great. Yeah, that's you know the joke that doesn't do

Yeah, and then I've been but I've been closing in New York. I close with it and it does great But over there they just were like what I had a fucking Saturday night. I had a fucking man I almost had I almost lost like I haven't almost lost on a stage where you know I you know the crowd was gonna win yeah like the like I was gonna fucking take a hot one It's like yeah back in the day like back in the fucking day day, like back in the fucking day. Last time I, I mean, the biggest hot one I ever took, you know, Larry Pucci, not, you know, Sparky. Yeah, Sparky Schneider.

Yeah, he has the guitar and he does the fucking. Yeah, yeah, he does the Christmas songs. Okay. Right. You know what I'm talking about, right? Belly, wide eyes, curly hair. Yeah, curly hair. Yeah, he, my first headline gig gig ever I'm killing it as a middle for

Dictority I'm fucking blowing all his headliners out of the water Dom Figg and all these people Larry Miles they're like you know they're getting complain about me and that's how dick call me up they don't want to fall yeah I'm gonna fucking headline yeah same money yeah exactly I'm like fucking great I go in a headline. This guy Sparky goes up in front of me at a Christmas party at a fucking stupid Chinese restaurant and fucking like some South Shore horse shit and goes up and kills with those songs and

I go up with my cocky fucking Boston 25 year old. I'm the shit pussy lick it I'm fucking Boston 25 year old, I'm the shit pussy lickin'. Lilililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililil We still wow Fuck nothing nothing but the other night sat in out of that McGuire's first of all Guires again the guys won this fucking club Governors the own the brokerage governor's broker and governors McGuire The guy James, I fucking love him. Him and his family, his wife, his kids all run it. It's kind of fucking good fellery. You know what I mean? His guy's like, the big earrings. He's no fucking joke. Like, like, I would not want this guy mad at me.

Okay. He is the shit. I fucking, I did the show Friday night, great, went out there, great guy. He really says, you were turning your rent to car. I'm sending a car for you. I'm sending a car, right? Send a car into the city to pick me up and hang on one second, one second, one second. So he sends a car into pick me up.

Magic. He sends a car, I mean, he's like, I'm gonna send a car. Send a car, pick me up the city and to drop me up magic. He sends a car. I mean, he's like, on the center car, sends a car, pick me up the city and to drop me off. Unfuckin' believable. We go down, I go to the first show, it was a little, you know, it was a good good first show, it was Grey Crowd. Fucking Grey Crowd. Second show comes in. Fucking drunk man, they're fucking drunk and, you know, it's older people and there, and it's, you know, I don't know, dude, and I went, I kind of went on stage in the wrong frame of mine. When you look at that situation as a comic,

you have to go, look, I'm not fucking trying to make this work. I'm going up, I'm going to do my jokes, and I'm not going to acknowledge what this is, because if I do, this could go wrong, and I'm going to have to to fight my way out of it and I had to fight my way out of it this guy in the middle like 10 fucking dudes just all guys You know and this one drunk fucking big head red nose fucking shit dick, you know the mascot of the fucking You know older than all the guys there But they keep my round cuz he gets drunk and does fucking crazy shit. You know, last time he fucking ate a pickle with shit on it, we all put it on our ass.

I love fucking pickles. I love fucking pickles. That sounds like a good time. Right? So, fucking guy, he starts fucking screaming. Fucking don't do fucking. And I'm like, what would you say when you start doing that, you're fucking guys. You start fucking screaming. Fucking, don't do fucking, don't do fucking. And I'm like, what? What'd you say?

When you start doing that, you're fucked. Yeah. Because now you're actually asking to repeat it. Hello, my spico is shit on it. I mean, that's fucking hilarious. So this fucking, so he's not yelling. And it's getting to the point. And then I say something to a guy up there up front.

Well, you would eat, get the joke, and he goes, what a guy up there up front where you would eat get the joke And he goes what what do you what do you know and he got serious so now you So you gotta I barely fucking made it out of it and I I I hooked on to some fucking some Thing I said to the guy like you fucking what are you a fucking some stupid thing what I can't fucking understand you shit dick and they went ha ha ha and I got out of it and then the guy talked to him and then I went right back into my This is why having an act and actually having jokes is a very good thing you know

been able to crowd work fucking okay fine but you know but not being able to fucking follow your own crowd work, you fucked, you fucked. It can really get you in trouble. I've done it a bunch of times. I've seen it happen. It happens a lot. It happens guys who go out and just can't follow

their own crowd work. Right, be bare yourself. I've done it. You've gone out and done it? Joey watched me do it at Cabin, like three months ago. Oh yeah, yeah, that was it. I got off stage, I was like, my first part the first part of my set, I'm like, boom, boom, boom. And then I tried to go into jokes. I'm like, I know. They literally said no

in unison. No, they didn't say, did that? No. That would have been a pretty good. If that was an option, that was like the new comedy club. You got to sign. I go, jokes. Crowd one. Jokes. No. It's like the voice they turn around. That's one of those rooms that has a regular crowd and it's hard to keep on doing material there. Because where's if you booked and I want to be two months or whatever. I never had a problem. Great. That's like I panicked on like in my head I went, oh man. And then I went into my jokes and I just kept fucking doing them, stayed with them and they got them.

But they was, you know, this table, like the lady up front, she's not an asshole, she's drunk, she doesn't go out, she doesn't know what life comedy is, she's sitting up the front, the waitress comes over. Could I get too more, I'm drunk? I mean, that loud. She doesn't know that she knows that I'm loud

and she can't hear the waitress. So she assumes that she needs to scream. And I go, what the fuck in the middle of the punchline? I'm literally in the, and I'm like, what the fuck? And it just came out where I should have known this is what this is gonna be. So this lady is an old, she doesn't fucking know. She's not trying to be a dick to me. I'm just, you know, what am is gonna be. Yeah. So this lady isn't all, she doesn't fucking know. She's not trying to be a dick to me.

I'm just, you know, what am I gonna do? And just fuck it. And her head, she's like, I'm just trying to be loud so the waitress can hear me because the man's talking into a microphone. She's not heckling me. Yeah, no. But I ignore, I went, it just came out.

What the fuck? You don't have to fucking shut your face, cunt. Oh, I didn't say that. Angry Bob. I didn't say that. Angry Bob. I didn't say that, but I kind of snapped and then our husband's like, what the fuck? The older guy and then the other people are like, hey, leave real long, they don't get it.

Nobody gets it. You look like an animal. So I got out of it, I really skimmed the fuck out of it. I got off stage, I did a fucking hour. At the end, it was fine. And then I didn't even go out and sell CDs, which I always go and say hi to people I always go shake hands and kiss babies especially for people

Mayor Bob I love ma'am Bob it's well you got to do that shit man you got to say hi to people especially people bought a a $20 ticket to come see you yeah and what are they paying for you fucking dollar in a drink they buy a $3 PBR what's a PBR you don't know're in a drink they buy a three dollar PBR? What's a PBR? You don't know Paps blue ribbon no, it's a shit beer. I'm a drink so it's 15 Probably around back then wait a rub it in You bomb I don't know I bomb quite a bit. I guess you really bomb a lot. No, really No, it doesn't bomb. I just had the sets of my life this weekend at the new work city steam and

hard for you to do that I've never done it I've heard I work at the Harvard funny bomb well you don't want to do it now yeah well you do the funny well I heard this room though is amazing no no no who do you that from the guy long it no it's fun it's like an old-time a bar room show it's it's getting eaten alive by the funny bone now is a real when I was I used to when I middle there I would get 600 for the week. It was Thursday Friday Friday Saturday Saturday now I headlining it's 650.

You're doing better. $50. You're doing better. Yeah. It's three of goals. But there but the you can suck that dick. I'm just suck to get the plane.

Sell the plane. Make the money. Oh, hey, hey, it's all good. Let's go back down to 17 Dix now. I don't need the gas. I'm going to be attending. It's on the plane. the money. Hey, it's all good. Let's go back down to 17 Dix now. I don't need the gas and I'm going to be attending. It's on the plane. All right, we're going to the big count. Now it's just like a big gulp full of comb.

I do a lot of, I do a lot of open mics. Then you bomb there. That's fun. Yeah, but that don't count. Yeah, well that's then, that's. It doesn't because I saw Joe do, and I opened my mic, and he did a joke. You did a joke at the mic, which got nothing. And I saw you do it an hour later at a show and it fucking was great. It was not mad at it was great.

And I said it to I was sitting next to Norman and I was like you see that joke bombed at the mic and just now it fucking the room went. Ah, I'm great. I tried to. I'm like. It's all right you guys look man. It's time to go vibe. I don't know what's happening between you and Kelly today Joe But I like it. All right. I like it. I like Joe now. She's trying to ask you she's gonna get back and you

She really is she went after you with a vendetta and you shut it down a color was like yeah the podcast is great now I can't do accents Everyone just comes and shit some me everyone shit on me. It's fun. It's like I love it. Everyone just comes and shit some of me. Everyone was shit on me, it's fine. It's like, I love it, I just love it. So I'm like, yeah, you suck, and she's like, hey, fuck you. That's what we were doing. Hey, Joe, you should come on the podcast. No, you can't. You fucking, you fucking, you fucking,

you're gonna be infested, can't. Right. Yeah, but Joe, like, if you're gonna give me shit, you're gonna expect it back here. You haven't given any back yet, though. But I, but I'm, you're just me. Is that me? I'm not giving shit, I'm just me.

Well, I mean, my resume is longer than your career. So. Oh, he's fucking. Give a resume. You're talking about buying. I've probably attended at DJ O'Donnell who's in Stoughton for about five years. And how you buy?

Jesus. What's wrong with you? He's such a bada. Hang on one second. I'm not saying. Joe, it's an album. I love this is happening. Do you understand this is the essence of what

Brings comics down what Fox with us would hurt us like the only we love being loved we loved doing shows We love showing up and having had a career. She's pretty nice Yeah, I'm In my Yeah I'm too much to know she's gonna get up we gonna mix it up. No, it's good. It's wrong around That's what you do here. It's your fucking you fucking, fucking idiot. I thought I was trying to play along. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but I think you know what? You really try to deconstruct the podcast.

I love it. I think I know you're very attractive. You're very, very, very, very accurate. We're actually talking about interesting things. You're talking about you sucking Dicks. I would love to sell it. We know what it would take. For an exchange for plans. We know what it takes.

How many Dicks would take? Not just for you. You'd get your dream plane. Now I feel like an asshole. I'm trembling over here Am I a Dicks? Trying to put her trying to bust fly back here the fucking Australian comic. She is not American American anxiety problem. It doesn't bleed liberty like you do

See that's how I get back at joke is Joe Smarrow the main he's funny in the me But the way my back with the motion Con volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincindio de aventuras te esperan. ¡Fli-paras! Huelades de madrida murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. First of all, this is what happens with comics.

This happened with me in fucking Ben Bailey the other night. Oh, sitting right there. Okay, this happens. You never know, we fuck with each other and this is why I don't like in the fucking Ben Bailey the other night. I was sitting right there. Okay, this happens. You never know, we fuck with each other. And this is why I don't like when the fucking, these, the, the, the fans, you gotta be careful. Because I don't know, you don't know, I'm not fucking, hey, hey, in a great mood,

24 fucking hours a day, seven days a week, when I look at you stupid thing on the internet, you fat fucking idiot the internet, you fat fucking idiot. I hope you die of fucking diabetes. Ha ha ha! I was kidding. Why'd you block me?

Suck a dick. I'm sorry I took offense to that. I was just about to blow my brains out because I just ate a hot fudge sundae at four in the morning. Okay? And I went on weight watches for three weeks. I'm trying to, I don't know what the fuck's happening dude. Okay?

So I'm sorry I blocked you. This is what happens with us. You never know when somebody's gonna take something and say something back and then they say, and it's all the sudden you're like, what the fuck happened? We're at the, it was like, I remember you used to do that bit. What's that, I heard your mom say. You remember that? Oh yeah, oh yeah, Mike.

Bobby just briefly did the pretend to not remember his A bit. He did for 12 years That was That'll kill That'll sing remember that bit I love that bit that bit was in your ass. You did to me You turn me into a fucking turn me into soda whoa Corporate Joe there's always room on the corporate bus for you.

I'm sorry, I don't want to lose your train. Last time, remember we were talking and I was talking about how much I love gummin' and Nick, and you were like, it hurts me that I'm nothing to you. I have a notebook, like my first or second notebook, it has a Bobby Kelly live sticker on the front. Really? And then it has a picture cut off from the paper of Dane, and it's like Dane's like sexy, like tanked up shot.

It's the gayest thing. You mean all he shot? And I have a Chris Rock, and Bobby Kelly and Dane and it's like Dane's like sexy like tanked up. It's the gayest thing. He's like, and I have a Chris Rock, yeah. I have a Chris Rock and Bobby Kelly and Dane Cook on my notebook. So, there's something from 1997. When Joe and I first met, when Joe and I first met, he quoted that your mother's sick joke. Really? When we first started becoming friends.

Well, that joke, I really didn't pretend to forget that joke. I thought it was the other joke. I miss you joke. That joke is from when I got that joke from Patrice O'Neil because he you know Patrice some he fucking boss balls Yeah, and I would just get angry So I'm like yeah, I went I I said I go yeah, I hope you get fucking diabetes and he went Bobby be. I got diabetes mother. You don't know how to fucking do it man. You know. Shit. But your mother's sick is great. You heard your mother's sick. I did that

the quinn one night in front. I just said some awful shit. I just sometimes I fuck up. But listen, here's a deal. You guys like the other night me and Ben Belly. I said something to Ben Belly joking around. They'll They'll call me fat for fucking 20 minutes and I'm gonna lie. Your thing was really good. Fat for 20 minutes. I love let me let me say this right out. I love Ben Belly. He's great. I've There is nobody happier than for Ben Belly than me. I sat at a pool at the downtowner. Okay, 65 Alls of night with me and Ben Belly because we didn't have enough money to stay at a fucking regular hotel So we could go do a Steinberg showcase in LA me and him at the pool with

Enough room for me and him at the pool a lady walks out Okay, I let I go into the thing this out bad it was she goes we have coffee and we have dawn knots I go I turn around there's a half-e half eaten donut and a little coffee and a regular coffee maker I go is that it she goes is better than a poke in the eye That's what she said so I love them so we're at the table fucking around bust and balls like we do and he said something to me Right about me and then I said fuck you. I go Ben can't go to LA because they don't have the right caps He can't he can't live in LA because they don't have the right caps. He can't, he can't live in LA because they don't have the right cabs. Great joke, right?

It's fun. He fucking snaps. She's like, oh, were you jealous? Fucking jealous? You jealous of me? Well, you fucking haven't done anything since Torgasm. So you're jealous of me.

And I was like, oh my god. It got real quick. I felt bad, but I look at, you know, I didn't say anything after that. I was like, Jesus, Dan, I'm fucking happy for you. What the fuck? I love Cash Cap. You guys made it up real quick. Well, because I-

And then you guys went back to just fucking burying me calling me the retarded little brother of Ben Payle. Well, here's the thing, I know I've been in, I've been in that issue. I wish, I wish I was really in it. I've been in that situation before with at that table where you know I fuck you with the fuck and gets heated and it goes I fucking done What am I gonna do give my resume?

What am I gonna tell them that I got a book coming out with Simon and Schuster? Am I gonna tell them I'm gonna show a deniro show on CBS on prime time every week? Am I gonna tell them? I was done. I have a good one. I tell them I want to fucking Apple ward the best comedy app Then I tell him I get another thing happening and something else that I can't talk about that so fucking good if I get it This podcast is over. I'll never do it any

I've already got my thousand Twitter I'm kidding. So yeah, it was a little heated, but it does get to that point where somebody says, you never know when you're gonna catch somebody. Right. Just fucked off. What are you on your phone? No, because you're talking about Twitter. So I wanted to rate. Son of a phone, Bobby. No, no, no, there's rules. There's rules. I'm trying my phone. I want to read out. I want to read out. I want to read out. I want to read out. But we're going to read out. I quit my day job at 05 we don't even read our phones When I quit in December of

Not We're gonna read. What are you gonna read? There was a thing about soda that I made his laugh. What was it about a guy? It's the best get it's the best one yet read it What was it about a guy? It's the best get. It's the best one yet. Read it. Oh, I'm having a bad that.

You're nape and pressure on me and I'm clinging up. Yeah, that's what I fucking do. That's what happens in show business. You fuck do. Be funny. Maybe it detain it. And then we do that. That's why we're fucking separate from other regular people.

No, someone put in a thing. That is nice armpit. I was just a bit sick. That was really nice. This bitch knows it too. I was young on that. She started really nice. This bitch knows it too. I was yelling at her. She started doing a punch, picked her arm up,

but we all shut up and stared at her fucking pits. Ah, fucking Aussie pits. I just had a crawl in there and fuck get some allo. Aussie pits, the grises thing. Aussie pits was the shortstop of the socks in 83. Oh boy. All right, fuck it. Anyways, remember Aussie Nelson? Remember Teddy Bergeron's bit? I'm not going to be a little boy. All right.

Fuck it. Remember Aussie, Aussie Nelson? Remember Teddy Bergeron's bit? No. Teddy Berger. How great was he? He goes, uh, You even know him?

This is one of the best bits ever. He goes, yeah, I'll tell you, he's hockey plays are tough. You know, you get hit in the head, you hit 15 stitches, you go, you come back, play the third period. Not baseball plays.

Never see that. Every spring, it's like this. Good to have a short-stop Aussie Nelson back. We all know he missed the last month of the season. He was frightened by a small child on Halloween. Anyway, it's Ozzy Nelson. Really? Take it really long. When you're in comedy long enough,

you just start liking the name they choose in the joke. Instead of the tech-on-senice, that's a good. You like the details. Yeah, you like the fact that he didn't, he went somewhere that he would know. Well, I wouldn't even think of it, but I get it. Well, I start thinking of like when you said a pickle

and covered it shit. I always, I always visualize jokes like the before that, this guy shoving a pickle. And the guy's like, oh, fucking knew it. I don't know what shit. That's what fucking stuff laughing. Do it, do it. I know he's friends going it, it, it, it.

Anyways, that's all right. I'm really glad. We almost, we almost got trapped in a Boston void Marco Hanna-Han's joke where he goes fucking I'm in revir, you know those fucking I'll do Dunnevin's whole act right now We used to go to when Joe and I first started hanging out. We almost did it last night. I'm sorry, I bailed. We used to go to Neptune diner and just have soup

and they fucking hated real stone. Because we get real stone and go in and just eat soup and they'd be like, oh, fuck, look who's back. And I just do full, like Mike Donovan sets. But every time we'd walk in, they had a picture of who's the, who's Neptune? That like they'd have a big thing in Neptune and he always go fucking dick door he's head shot every time we go in.

Yeah he would always say that when it's sit down in the booth I'm like I don't know who dick door he is. Dude I want a dickhead. Remember the dickheads? No. They were in all his clubs. Oh yeah those big. He get up. He get up one of his head who's just his cartoon head but he get it put of his head. It was just this cartoon head, but he get it put on wood like white and then paint the white outline black like a character. I didn't take my as a reflux pill. I was up all me. We were here yesterday until 11 o'clock fixing the studio and then I had to be up today. I had to go to therapy this morning. You know what I realized this whole

the regulars on the show all go go to therapy at the same place. I love them. Yeah. It's a weird fucking thing. We're a family now. I just picture me and you with her in the middle of the cold night trying to just keep her watching. That's the loss of the crap.

Stop. Yeah. Oh, God. See, I didn't take my pill. I worked out last night. I worked out. Fucking I went on Sunday night went to the grocery store with Jim Norton and we bought a bunch of Weight Watchers stuff. This is how funny it is till we went into Weight Watchers into the food and poor him and he goes look you get this one and that one that's four points that's two points and you get this so I grabbed like nine boxes he goes that's your problem you fat fuck

what do you think he goes what do you think they're not making him anymore he goes get one you get with his there's 14 and one box you should get some snack wells. It's delicious. Well, I got that. This is what I'm doing. I got the way watches online. I know, this means nothing to you. Let's enjoy it. I know. You're such a skinny.

I know, I know. I do yoga. You do yoga? You're very skinny too. What are you talking about? You look amazing. Come on, man. Oh, you guys are fucking.

No. You're gonna hate fuck later. I'm gonna have some. Don't look at me To get a tan Deep down shaving neck with a little bumps on it You like little bumps I'm your guy So I got on the Weight Watchers online which is an app app. So you add your food in as you go. And it reminds you, breakfast, lunch, and dinner,

and snack late night snack at room. I go, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, and you get to put your food in. And we went down, I got that. And then the treadmill came. I joined a gym, Planet Fitness in New York. This is $10 a month. OK, to go to the gym. That's it.

$10 a month. It queens, it sucks. OK, $20 a month for any for any planet fitness in New York. You can bring, you can bring unlimited guests like I can bring somebody with me anytime I want. Also, joining fee. It's 50 bucks. No, 30 bucks.

Mine was, I got it a special. I joined for $15. Right, 10 bucks a month. 10 bucks a month. I hate it. Why? Because I go there and I. 10 bucks a month. 10 bucks a month. I hate it. Why? Because I go there and I can't get a dumbbell because there's all these 16 year old Puerto Rican kids

just doing fucking curls. And I'm like, hey, can I use that? And they're not even doing it properly. They're using all their back and like, eh, and I'm like, can I use that to do the shoulder? The right way. Yeah, the right way. The white way.

The white way. And they look at me like an asshole. They're like, I'm not done, man. I I'm like you put it on the ground. They they hoard they take like fucking four different Waits and then they put it all there and then they're using one and I'm like hey man. Okay use that 35 and like I'm used No, you're not just sitting there you fucking Want to dump out just look in the mirror Have the nicknames the truth and your zing is cons I'm gonna dump bell So Yeah, well the one over here here's how fucked up this one is you ready? I joined it it's fucking packed, why? What did you expect for, who do you think was gonna go

for $10 a month, Joe? Which business man? Listen, yeah, you wanna go join the fucking, go go, no, I'm not saying it's everybody, it's not black, white, it's the poorer people, I'm gonna fucking join that gym and they're gonna all show up and hang out all fucking day. Yeah, they don't have jobs.

I'll tell you this, poor people, incredible dips. That's what I've learned from playing a fitness. Here's, they can just fucking, Yeah, because they used to be in a fucking cell. That's what you said, that's what I'm saying. Um, so, here's, I'm on the fucking treadmill. I joined this fucking thing after we do the podcast on Monday. Yeah.

I'm exhausted. I'm gonna fall day. I did ONA, then I do the podcast on Monday. Yeah. I'm exhausted. I'm gonna call day. I did ONA. Then I did the podcast. Now, Kelly and my wife fucking Kelly on knocker right in her fucking chin. You should get, you should get real good. Yeah.

You should get into the tech. Come on man. Yeah. My wife's like, you should. I'm like, oh, you feel better. I even texted you later going, say, don't you feel better? I get down there. It's a fucking nightmare.

There's people everywhere. I join. I'm finally sitting there. All of a sudden, I get on there. It's a fucking nightmare. There's people everywhere. I join. I'm I finally sitting there all of a sudden I get on a fucking treadmill. I'm finally I'm like, you know what? It's like 15 minutes in. I'm like I'm fucking doing it. Okay. I'm here. Finally I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. Obviously they bring in 30 pizzas 30 Wait, what 30 that's nightmare-like situation for Bobby. I'm on the fucking thing, all of a sudden around eight. You can smell it.

Middle-aged black women and Pilates pants and sports bras. How's fucking showing pizza? They're showing pizza. They bring free pizza to plan a Hollywood at five o'clock. So it's like, everybody in their kids just just walk up and get a slice wait So I could spade $10 a month and then get free pizza every time I'm with a shower I said I'm gonna stay gonna live there. It's pretty good. It is I'm The smell of pizza. It was good fucking pizza. I'm on the treadmill like God you hate me

It was good fucking pizza. I'm on the treadmill like God you hate me Me because I'm here motherfucker. I didn't want to come. I don't want to fucking be here I made it fucking here and then you brought in We forgot all the ice cream downstairs Ice cream bars. I'm pizza that's smell of pizza. He's the biggest food bone on. It's fucking out. It's so good. So I fucking, anyways, I did it. I worked out and you're right about the gym,

but I'm a little bigger than you, so people get out of my way. So I know that pizza got my not respect me. I got the dumbbells. I picked up two Puerto Ricans, skinny guys, and I had the flexing. And then I got the treadmill for my house. Because this is the thing.

If you're a fat fuck, you're an addict. You're a food addict. If you're a food addict like me, I am. I have a real, I went from alcohol drugs to sex, to food, to sex. To passion. Man. To passion to food.

To head and to passion. Oh, God. Always with passion. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Rubber to food. A passion. Always with passion. Rubber to carry. Don't even look at that voice coming out of that face. So, I don't even know what that means. Fucking heathen. That voice you mean, that voice that you come out of this face. So, I believed, and I had a fight with my wife about this, where I just had to put my fucking foot down because that's what you're doing you married

You put your fucking foot down at some point. I you have to be an addict with working out You have so I was like fuck you. I'm a member of New York sports club I'm a member of planet fitness. I bought a fucking treadmill for the house and and I need it all, because I'm not gonna fuck, I need to fucking have, I need no excuses. You know what you need next? It is a subscription to muscle fitness weekly. You're gonna start getting really, I can just really out laugh if you became like a fitness addict

because you'd start carrying on creotene shakes. You'd wear those tank tops with the really skinny strings over the shoulders. And you'd be like, like any straps. Yeah, thank you, Joe. Joe, what's the fucking- what's his name? Guy the fucking Boston and then he started working out. I met somebody who caught him in his hot wife back in the day smelling ice cream sundays in first class. Wow. Smelling. There's apparently, and I've done this, and it doesn't work with true fat people.

You actually want to just snorting the ice cream, maybe. Yeah, if you smell it, it hits the sense, and it actually makes, it feels like you're eating it, and it takes away the craving for it No, that's not that my work would fucking you Joe, but a real fatso like me. That's not gonna work That's not that's that makes you work. It makes it work. I would my soul mainline it in your veins Fucking love to just walk around the corner of random land in the West Village of Bobbrew the piece of pizza

It was face like Nothing fucking nothing dude the piece of pizza that was face like nothing. Fuck another dude. Fuck another. Walk away. Nothing. Fuckin West Virginia white trash kid. Fucking he even whipped cream in the food market. Oh,

you're a whip it. Um, that was a better way of saying it. How fucking worthy was either way. I did a young kid white trash in the corner and a food market sucking on whipped cream. You mean doing a whip? Doing a whip! I hate you, Dennis!

Please tell me, you got to rewatch. I just rewatched it last night. The wonderful and weird whites of West Virginia. Has anyone seen the dog? I see nothing weird is in there. I think it's wonderful. It's wonderful. Is that what it is?

I think so. Fucking so sad, but so entertaining. I don't know if it's sad. How sad is it? I mean, when she does the fucking line of oxy-continue after she has a baby, you're like, oh, where she crushes it up, she goes, she gonna be president.

She gonna be president. It's fucking so much fun. It's fucking so much fun. You know what, man, it was interesting, but it wasn't as interesting as I thought it was gonna be. That little kid. I kind of felt similarly, I just, after a while, I was like, I get it,

they fucked up a lot. I mean, I've actually had foster parents that won't like these motherfuckers. But I think I was expecting some hat failed in the McCoy shit. Like I was expecting them to do some crazy, crazy back of Virginia shit, but it was just. Well, you know what, I read an interview with Knoxville

and he said originally they wanted to do a reality show about the family, but the production crew that he sent in when they came back out they go yeah we're not fucking gonna go back there those people are goddamn crazy he's like we were afraid of our lives and he's like and these guys have done some real deal shit and they were in there and they said some of the shit that they couldn't show there was some shit that the family would not sign off on showing and they show drug use fucking violence. But look at first of all, I mean, the guy that goes to the films, the deadliest catch is more dangerous than going into the fucking,

you know, what's gonna happen? I mean, really, you're on a fucking boat in the middle of barring sea, trying to catch a fish, and there's a fucking 90-foot wave coming over you. That's pretty fucked up, and you're filming. And those guys are nuts. I would rather go into...

Those guys on the boats are nuts. I'd rather go into a fucking meth head's house and hang out with them. The fuck's gonna happen. That little kid really just made me laugh in that documentary though. The one that hates his dad. Oh yeah.

It's like, fuck you, Dennis. It's for you, Dennis. That made me laugh. I feel bad for that kid. And here's the thing how hot almost hot World of the moms. Oh, his mom was almost hot almost hot. Yeah, that's a girl. You just on the road You're funny. I'm funny. Oh, she's a titzer all mashed up with glitter on him Yeah, you wind up fucking her but you're like, oh, you push you so wet my pussy. That's my asshole

Oh, you're gonna wrong. Oh, you want to do about me? I sure do. Yeah, that movie was good, but it wasn't as as as holy shit as I thought it was going to be. I saw the first movie. You see the first one about the actual yeah, yeah, the dancing out. Oh, that's good. Yeah, he was my favorite character. Maybe I'll see that. Yeah, he was actually cool. That was interesting to see him and him watch him dance and his father and that was pretty. Father invented it. Yeah, he was my favorite character. Maybe I'll see that yeah, he was actually cool That was interesting to see him and him watch him dance and his father and that was pretty father invented it Yeah, I think you're gonna have a stroke. I can't do it. Don't say that Kelly Well, I didn't mean I stroke it as a buzzword now. Sorry. All right. We're gonna take a quick piss break

I want to do a little commercial break back I'm gonna do a little commercial break. We thank these people every week because they helped us out. They believe in the you know what to podcast and they've done stuff for us. If they didn't do stuff for us, we wouldn't thank them. Anyways, laugh button live. Great guys over there. Thank you for all your support and sending people over there. They're the ones that actually sponsored our first live, you know what to podcast,

which we'll be doing again soon. Blue microphones for giving us all our microphones, the bandelier people. Yeah. Kelly got a bandelier. You don't want one. Yeah, you're a fucking home. No, it's one, if there's shells

and it's the post-apocalyptic, then yeah, I'll do it. Shelf those shells. You're fucking ragging out at a fucking sponsor? Go on the official. Official Smiles. If you, if you, look at, if you're hiking, walking through the woods, woods, fishing, walking, working out,

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I love it. I have one. And then Yowzer Fitness, these guys hooked me the fuck up. Yowzer Fitness, you know me. I'm a tech motherfucker. Today, tech talk, we're doing that. Yowzer Fitness is on tech talk. If you want, if you're a fat fuck like me and you need a treadmill or something in the house to actually motivate you because you're excused,

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While you're fucking your wife, you get her on top and you put it on her clitoris while she's riding you Okay, and you put it on her clip and she's gonna blow up not like you've never ever ever Joe this is putting the pillow I didn't I'm not talking about clocks. I'm talking about you get this silver bullet I'm telling you get any of the silver bullet vibrators. Little fucking vibe. Put it on a clip while she's on top of you. Let her use your dick right around and put

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And a special gift, you're gonna get another gift. If you enter in a riot at the code at the end when you're checking out, go, just fucking do it. It's 12 bars. By a, there are sponsor of our show. They're an official sponsor of the show. I totally do this. Seriously.

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and some lube, you're a pussy. You're a pussy. You're really, you need to make a... Stop looking at me right now. Go get a vibrator right now. Honestly, God, you're to make it. Stop looking at me right now. I'm sorry. Go get a vibrator right now. Honestly, God, you're helping out the show. If you go, use riot code, our I-O-T, when you check out.

Bobby, can I ask a question? Six and a half inches. Ah. And. Okay, Kelly, here's the deal. We got another new sponsor, the show, Yowzer Fitness. I went to this place. You know, you know. I've been fat, here's the deal. We got another new sponsor to show. Yowzer Fitness. I went to this place, you know, you know,

I've been fat, you've been fat. We've been skinny, you know, we've both been skinny. Many times, yes. You're on your fourth skinny. That's right. I'm on my six fat, and I'm trying to get back down again. Okay, because I don't want to fucking die. This is no joke now.

I gained a lot of weight when I quit smoking. 50, 60 pounds I put back on. I was skinny two years ago. I was down to fighting shit and it's hard. I know how hard it is to lose weight. Because where you're going to go to the gym, getting out to the gym, putting your clothes on, getting in the car, driving to the fucking, finding a spot, finding a machine, everybody's there, you feel like shit, there's people better looking than you.

It's just a fucking horror show at the beginning when you're fat. Here's what you do, go to yowzafitinus.com. The best treadmills on the market, folding treadmills, they go away, but not just at an angle where they take up space, like some of these other treadmills, straight up in the air. And when you put it back down, it automatically goes down.

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It fits right in there. Nice face. Folds down. I can watch TV in the bedroom, pick it up, push it against the wall. It rolls right up against the wall and it's gone. It's over. Yowser fitness. It's around $13 for the biscuit I got.

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mother fuckers. Let's get then one more time. Lose and wait. This Bobby Kelly is. Lose and wait. We Kelly is Lose and wait We're back go ahead Kelly what Kelly can You guys I believe this be quiet for a second. Yeah, that's good question. Hey, what's up? If you're a girl with a guy. Yeah, and then the girl goes hey while I ride you is it okay if I You know pull out this little silver bullet do you feel like you?

Why don't the guy get like, you know, what? You don't think I can make a woman out of you? What? You think I can't fucking do that shit? No way. Because I know that. I know that. But I'm too scared to do it like.

No, you say you should say, this is a problem with fucking women. Okay. You live in, I'm not saying this. I'm not saying this as an asshole to set it to, this is why you fuck up sex. We fuck up sex because we don't know how to connect to you on an emotional level and make it something more than just us fucking it in our rocks off, okay? What you fuck up is you want it to be special and you're nervous to be the whore that you really are. Be a fucking whore.

It's a whore it is. Seriously, be the whore. I'm not saying go fuck guys and swallow 72 cocked cocks like Joe. I'm saying I'm not saying go get a plane. I'm scared. I'm not going to swallow the cock. I'm not saying swallow it with a helicopter. If you're with a heart like pull a comb. If you're with a guy that you like, okay, that you like, be a fucking whore. I'd be a filthy filthy whore. Suck his dick.

You go look at him in the eyes. Put your armpits down. Don't do that. It's just all horned. No, it doesn't. Yeah, but that's the problem. The fragrance before it's the Madonna overhaul because when you're the whore, when you're the girl you want to be, the God doesn't want to hang around

Because he's like I can never see myself staying with a girl Or you wait if you're looking for a relationship you get you know dirty a little bit and then you fucking slowly pull it out Yeah, yeah, I said the perfect joke What's that when you said at the end of his HP? Especially said if you want to keep a man act like a a 15 cent whore, just act. It's like, fuck in the bedroom. Not all around. Not like, I swear, suck that. No, but you know what I mean.

I'm gonna give you an example. Me and my wife were fooling around one night. My wife's a nestatician, she works in a salon. She does waxings and facial, okay? She popped, not those kind. It's funny. In my act, I literally say, my wife does facial and I go, not those kind, because every time a guy in the audience will go

So anyways she She does okay, so here's the deal. We're about to fool around, somebody just died. We're in New York City, we're at the New Scootie-O. Hey, New York moment. We're fooling around, we're gonna role play, which I'm into, I'm a fucking role player. I'm a dirty guy, I'm a dirty fucking guy.

I'm a mess. Okay. So I go, okay, she goes, what do you want to do? I go, all right, You're a masseuse she goes now now Now too close I go what do you mean too close? It's gonna spin at them That down cuz that would be like her being like you're a magician Fuck that those guys are respectable you're not a fellow singer

like you're a magician. Fuck that. Those guys are respectable. You're not a Bella singer. She goes, she goes, now, too close. Too close. I go close to what? I go, you rags people. This is massaging. It's not even the same certificate. Okay? It's not the same school. I go, you pop zits. Okay, what? You work in the same place where the people get massages go fuck. That's what I want I want you to rub me she gets now now. I'm not doing it. It's too close. That's to be weird because then I'll think what the fuck Go fuck yourself then go now. I don't when we're gonna where we're gonna go from here Don

What am I gonna say school teacher and the believe that you want that, this isn't like going to dinner, what Chinese now, you are Mexican now, do you want Brazilian, let me just hand that, shut the fuck up and fucking rub my back and then roll me over like John Travolta and milky, excuse me. I thought I was gonna be wearing a kiss. And then when you look at me, go suck my dick, you wanna suck my cock too?

I had a guy last guy I was with, couldn't talk dirty, which is a big like How can he not I love the Dan can actually do a hair-lip guy Dance I'm afraid to look ugly, is he? All right, back to you horn about the city. But he's gonna do it like he was about weird doing it. So we had to like, you know, like, go over that bridge

and like teach him and then finally say, I'm like, just be matter of fact. Okay, here's a deal. Joe's the guy. I want to know how you taught him how to talk to him. Oh boy, scene. And wait, wait a second, okay. Get and wait wait a second okay get that pillow ready Joe I like your I like your breasts

Not even a character Oh, good job in the bedroom you have Nice legs. Whoa you make me feel good. I said today this is for my act, but I told my ex-girlfriend to suck it like a man while she was going down a long time. Just kidding. Same up. Great, yeah. I told the girl to eat my pussy.

I was looking for my ass while I eat that pussy. She went, huh? Yeah, that pussy. That's Christ. Yeah, but my ass lips are like pussy lips. Okay. So be angel. Oh. Oh. Well, I my ass lips are like pussy lips. OK. So be angel. Oh, fuck. But I mean, the other thing is, like, the other thing,

if all she had to do was go, OK, I mean, the massage part was going to last what, five minutes, and then I was going to get hard, and then we were just going to be regular fucking anyways. I mean, how long does role-playing last? I'm not looking to fucking do an original dirt digler movie role-playing where we actually have guns and shit shit and we run around. I don't want to shoot it on film. That'd be pretty awesome. I'm just saying, you know what I'm saying?

Like, baby, fucking just fucking do it. So if you're with costumes, big fan of costumes. Oh really? Really? I love it. Damn. Like a cheerleader outfit. Fucking Robin Williams from Bird Cage. I like wardrobe change. Really? Really? I love it. Like a cheerleader outfit. What do you know? Oh, fucking rascals. Robin Williams from Bird Cage. Yes. Like wardrobe changeers. Yeah. One must have a hint of color.

Do you mean lingerie or costume? No, I can't. What do you mean with Oscar De La Jolla? Yeah. The pictures look at me. The picture look at Batman. Like one of those old plastic things with the elastic mask. Zoro costume. What do you guys think of like like that? Like I've never, I don't think I've ever won You're like a batman, one of those old plastic things with the elastic mask.

Zorro costume. What do you guys think of like like, like, I've never, I don't think I've ever won like, 60 lingerie, you know what I mean? Like, what do you guys think? Well, I don't say like a retard. Like, you guys, they didn't make it that big. She's like, I don't know guys, thank you guys.

She was, she was guys, I mean, I'm not like, you know, I'm not like, going around like, like, when, like, 60 lingerie. It's me, you know, I don't try to take a go, I'm on like, when, I'm not like going around like we're like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I get them back to the Bobby that we know. The sexy pick in the cello Bobby. I think he regularly says funny things. I don't feel like we need to point them out. Listen, thank you.

Over Joe. Over Joe. Over Joe. Over Joe. Over Joe. I know what you were in a tie next time. We all got a form of Fortune 500 company called Yes, Sir. Oh, but I, I mean,

I was talking daddy. What do you want to know? Yeah, I want you to talk. I want to tell me why you just teach the kids. Okay, so what I said to him, I said to him. I just heard of her.

It's really into this. It's got a war. Oh God, take one, take one. No, no, no, no. Another great bit. He's got about that. What? Another true story.

About it one, take it out. Oh, yeah. What is it? Well, I was on a date with a, this true story was on a date with a girl this two stars on a date with a girl, and I'd never met her before, and we're driving home. I was driving her home,

and she went, joe, and I looked over, and she had just taken one tid out, and then she didn't say anything, like it was just, there was no other information, it was just her with her tit,

and then I was like, it's very creepy. Zero and two is the appropriate amount of breasts to be exposed. Breasts are like, hall and oats. I don't want to to be exposed. Breast is like hauling oats. I don't want to see them on a solo tour. I want to see it together. Not at all.

That's great. Did you work at Dunkin' Donuts? Shorted it's Sears. Oh, no. Hey, Joe, look at my fucking tent. I flipped my tee-dap for you. I used to work at DeAngelo's, which they don't have in New York, but you know it. I don't know DeAngelo's well.

Yeah, I used to work there. It was a sub place. I don't know. Well, well. They joined I used to work there. It was a sub place. I don't know. They were joined with Dunkin' Donuts, some of them. So there'd be a D'Angelo's and we're right in the same place at Dunkin' Donuts. And this fucking broad, she had to be 40, but she lied and told people she was 25.

Creepy, right? But you're like, you're not 25. You're a good looking 40. Great looking 40. Great looking 40, but you're not 25. No, I'm 25. You're lying to me. You're making it so bad what you're doing that I want to

investigate it. Like I want to quit my job. No, I want to become the PI and find your family that's 80 and And come to you and go your 40 I have the evidence Cuban pitcher. She was very pretty though and dirty girl. She used to She used to go home and Order subs because I was the delivery guy She'd order I always knew it was a ham cheese with pickles and mayonnaise six inch. I was the delivery guy and she'd order I always knew was a ham cheese with pickles and mayonnaise six inch

I was in trouble Because she used to have me come to her house and she'd open the door with a fucking with like a negligion with like a Look at titty hanging out And she'd be like hey and I'd be like oh and I'm such a pig like I didn't want to fuck this old broad But I had to because it's's like, dude, come on. What? Hey, and I'd be like, do you order a ham and cheese? Or a little spoon?

No. Oh, I just remember, I remember she blow me, and it was, and then, it would be fine in the beginning, but then she blow me, and then she'd want me to fuck her, and I'd be like, oh, and you put it in, it was just like, just wet. It was, there was no pressure on you dick at all. It was just wet.

It was like fucking a bucket of water. You know what I mean? It's a warm bucket of water. Throwing a watermelon down the hallway. That might be a good roleplay now. So now anyway, his, all right, let's get the Kelly talking dirty. God say, all right, she's the guy you go. I'm the director. You're the ADS. She's the guy you go. I'm the director

You're the idea You're what Greg Staley was I was great. Yeah, I'm great for the last episode It's gonna come back to home and of course all this time stop with being a girl. I want you to be Kelly for stuka Funny Kelly. Yeah, ready go So I can't make it here's the scene let me paint the scene for you Let's me and Dan do it. I'll you be Kelly. I'll be Joe. All right. Hey, what's up? I want you to talk daddy. I'm sorry. I did my left ear is I can't hear it I said I want you to talk daddy

Yeah, you got a nice push Come on Mike You did Yeah, you got a nice push Come on You tips turn me on All right, I'd love for you to lick the top of my balls Almost I have a pickle I can shit on it Dude, I have a pickle I can shit on it. Maybe we can look it together. I don't know I guess I mean you bed. Yeah, she's a big black man. I'm bad. Oh, yeah, I'm good too

Very what sounding black man See look this mask is like this Australian model it's a little hot. Yeah, it's a little hairy But he's slapping ass So I'm like is that too hard? I don't want to offend any I get it in really hit it. I'm beat. I'm beat. I'm beat. All right. I'll punch it. I'll hit it Yeah, hit it. All right. I'll hit with my pinky knuckles and my big now full fist. Yeah, I'm all right All right. Well, there's no need to get fucking me. Come on Come on, I'm shaking. I'm a little nervous now. I'm just sitting in a right fist I'm shaking him a little nervous now I said, I'm gonna be right beast

God that was classic The top of my balls is the funniest thing ever The top of my balls There is a top of my balls And soon I heard the word fist, I'm like, I sit on that of you Oh boy That's it, no but it's not, it's more So that was it, that's what happened

That's exactly what happened We just unsolved mystery and we're gonna act it I haven't laughed that hard since the golden girls The golden girls was a great show That's a great show That's what happened with his unsolved mystery and act it I've been last that hurt since the golden girls Great show I hate that they tried to make this shit is old, but she's not old. Yeah, she's fucking old. She's dead That old lady never she was the youngest one why she now you white was the youngest no The lady that played the long is still getting was the oldest I was the youngest Casemar right. I thought I was just be funny to say I haven't laughed at her since the golden girls Everything's got sides

Yeah, this one's called side street right it down Greg Johnson, you know Greg Johnson. Oh here we go Fucking hilarious guy. He's got one of my favorite jokes He's got like a gay brother and he has every Every season of golden Girls on DVD. And he goes, there's one that's tape on it. And Greg goes, what did you just, what do you fucking drop by this use?

And he goes, no, it's just natural wear and tear. That's so funny to me. He just watched so many of them. Speaking of Golden Girls and gay brother jokes, Al Dabeni, remember Al Dabeni? Yeah, he's actually gonna come on the show cool next couple weeks He has an own podcast that he's promoting Another network we might not promote the network Because we're all right cast all the time join the right join the right

You're listening to 101.9 WQLF since an ad he's only classic rock station the wolf Welcome back to Bob and the monster With fat Kelly With a lovely coos fat Kelly Can you do Ella cool Jay just one more time the comments are So yeah, he's gonna come up used to have a joke I have a joke One of my brothers is a bikey the other ones a queer, but they both ride they both wear leather and they both ride hogs

But he would do it the same way didn't matter if there was five people that have built recognize or 300 people but they both well other other both both right arms. I've done the bill rick And I you know that fucking room john David boom scape dooms gap. Dooms. There we go. I love John David. That's what he would do. Yeah, what about fucking? What about Mark fucking? Who will I hand? From Dorchester? He's got that fit. Where he goes? Yeah, fuck. So Kelly, I'm with you. Okay. Now I know that we're kind of like a older brother younger sister. But I want nothing to do with you sexually except I would eat your armpits while you jerk me off Other than that. That's a weird thing to that's a weird image that just got I want to do something sexy and dirty that you never did before have a chick eat your have a chick Suck your dick, okay

Wet it and then jerk you off and fucking lick your armpit. No, no, nope Yeah, but it tickle goes away and it feels good and all of a sudden you're fucking like when you're getting jerked off It's like holy shit Holy I really like your fucking alternative sexual things that you came up with So Kelly I'm with you. We're fucking a restaurant. Yeah, that's okay. I pull out my own vibrator.

I've gone. You're on. I've gone. That sounded wrong. Hang on. Hang on. I've got a bandit back on. I've got a winner.

I've got a bandit back on. That's another one. That's the reason I have a bandit leader. Oh, I've got a winner. I'm going to be a winner. That's another one. That's a bad deal. That's a bad deal. That's a good runner. Yeah, this is why I keep my batteries. Listen, I've used, look it, I've gone out and bought a fucking vibrator for a chick.

I've gone and done that. Every girl should have her own. Well, you don't need to, what I'm saying is you don't as a guy get over it. You can go to CVS and buy a vibrator now, where they have the KY jelly, and buy a vibrator that you can put on a click, a chicks' clitoris while you're fucking, while you're eating your pussy, put a vibrator on a click. She's gonna go nuts.

Hello, when a girl, when you make a girl come, the two things that you do is you free her up sexually to be a pig with you. It makes her go, I want to to be a pig with you. Yeah. It makes her go, I want to come to you. I'm just angry. I want to make you come to you. You make me come.

Oh, fucking me. You want to be that face and that voice. You're not going to make me come. You're right though. You're right though, but it's like you get scared because some guys, you know, and I don't need to bring other stuff in to come because I'll come during sex. That's not a problem. Right. but it's more like he's ego. You know, he has to be really cool and comfortable

and he has to be up for the, let's fuck this shit out of each other. And then it's great. It's great, but then it's, oh. The fact that Kelly, just by that sense alone makes me think that she grabs someone by the under-puller, Josh. She's like, he, in fact, man, man. It goes like, what the fuck did I get into?

I thought she was a sweet foreigner. There's an iPhone app now for 99 cents, the iVibrate. And they'll make your phone vibrate. It also makes it stink. Yeah. Chain colors. Yeah. Wow, my phone doesn't work.

Why did I use a yellow iPhone? It was a shopping wet. It was a wet. Soppin' wet. I would definitely, I have no problem using a fucking vibrator. I'll do it. No problem. Yeah, this civil bullet thing is really interesting Yeah, go fucking yeah, I would definitely get a Civil I don't want to come out of like

One not to do that, especially when I'm riding him. Jesus Christ. Oh boy. It's been a while All right, check it out. We're gonna wrap this motherfucker Little boy, it's been a while. All right. All right, check it out. We're gonna wrap this motherfucker up. Joe, it's been fantastic. Thanks for coming on again. Yeah, thanks for having me. Well, I fucking love when you come on.

I do. I hate you. This is the best. The truth, not the best. But he's different than you. Whoa. And that's good. Hey, all right.

Now, he is the best. He's the best. Turn him on the best body. He's the shut up. Stop sticking up for people. You know, you't stick up for by the way. I always Think I'm on why why people talk shit about me? What the fuck you? You stick up for me? I never happened in neutral day. I meant he was a great middle when he was middleing

You misunderstood he misinterpreted You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood. You misunderstood.jolice.com. All right, good. Awesome, man. Really funny guy stand up. Great on the podcast. Thanks for coming on. Thank you. I appreciate it. Dan, where are you gonna be, buddy? I am gonna be, it's back on. I'm a Foxwoods May 31st to June 2nd.

Are you gig? Yeah, they, they, they, there's, there's probably gonna be a special appearance, but now it's, it's back. It's the kids. So your career is back. Yeah. So you're back. Now what about the Guinness shows? Are they still canceled?

Yeah, the one in DC is, one in New York, still going. Does your manager calling you again? Yeah, we're talked. Are you back? You called me a little part of the party. You had a little dip in your career. It was one day and I panicked. I wept.

I wept. And it's coming again, it's coming. It's coming. It's coming. But you know what? I got you. You got us. I always got you. You got you know what, dude, podcast. You know what? But you know you got? I got you. You got us. I always got you.

You got to you know what, dude, podcast. You know what, dude, family. The riot cast family. Right. Exactly. Here. Here. And what's your, you, uh, at Dan Soder.

At Soder. At Dan Soder. Soder. Soder on Twitter. And then, uh, you can find me on Facebook. Come on. Yeah, and you, uh, you have, uh, Dan, and you have Dan's, Dan's soda's hair. Yeah, Dan's soda's penis got shut down.

Why? I think I was really nice. He was like, I was trying to be funny. And he's like, I just don't, you know, he's like, I don't want to be an appropriate. He was really nice because he was really cool about it. I was like, I tweeted him back and I was like, dude, you're really being awesome about this.

It's not that big of a deal. What a great guy. I love when people know that they, all right, fuck't want to be like he could tell you was irritating me And he really wasn't right maybe a little bit But the fact that he was that cool about it. He's a good. That's cool man. There's nothing better than a fan who gets a fan You shit and actually isn't a total doesn't get I hate when they get mad at you. Yeah for it's like where you fuck I'm just kidding fucking. I think his name's Bill, but he really nice guy. Good guy.

Mr. Brinklow. I don't know. I think it might have been Frank. That's Frank. Yeah. It was one of those guys. Really nice. Whoever did it.

Oh, right. We get it. Anyways, um, the fans are awesome. They were like, they're like, they're we. What the hell was that? I'm Sean Coffin. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. What do you got It's a story. What do you got what do you got? Twitter KELY FASTUCA and I have I'm Kelly Fustiga.com as well now Website. Yeah, I made my website nice. Yeah, good for you. Tell So you can find all my gigs and We just over there. I always say this. I've noticed this for the past couple weeks Kelly is joyful and little sister like in playful round. You get her to do the Twitter handle. It makes my dick move.

Real quick. Kelly, what's your Twitter handle? K-L-O-Y-F-A-S-T-U-C-A. I mean, that is. That's nothing to me. Well, that is still serious, a little sister. I have blood he asks. Put up your arms.

Put up your arms, dude. Mr. Leon, put the arms up. Do it now, do the read. I would fuck her asked. Put up your arms. Put up your arms, dude. Missy, I'm gonna put the arms up. Do it now, do the rea- I would fuck around pits. Do the rea- do the rea- do the rea- do the armpits. No, it's okay. No, um, it's okay, so you get, and we have, you know, hey, if you listen to this podcast, stop fucking around, please.

Okay, and follow YKWD podcast on Twitter. At YKWD podcast on Twitter. And the Facebook page podcast on Twitter and the Facebook page as well because it's a step-to-step. We got a heap of stuff. We're taking video, we're taking photos every week, Kelly's adding stuff all the time. We got a Tumblr page, we got all kinds of great shit. Make sure you like the Facebook, join, follow the Twitter account YKWD podcast and and Roberto can I just also add that I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Did you just call me Roberto? I did. Okay. I believe she's talking to me. I believe. Yeah, that's what I was. I believe. I was sitting it up.

This is where I step in. But some of the fans are like riding in a bat suggestions for a fat Kelly T-shirt and their fucking hill. Okay, here's a deal. So funny. Fat Kelly T-shirt, I'm in. Send us a fucking drawing. You see the Joe D, you see the Gator fight.

That damn Gator fight! Do you remember the book? Kill him. Kill him looking for sausages and cheeses and fat. Two Hungry Gators going after the same chicken. God damn, Gator, fuck! Uh-huh. Someone just made a suggestion of one where I'm on a building with a sandwich like King Kong with a sandwich.

I do like to wonder what the tired Roo, and Fat Tellies and his pouch. I'm going meats and cheeses under it. You see a baby Roo in her hand and a Roo foot sticking out of her mouth. Uh! And then she's sitting on top of Las Vegas under it. You see a baby ruin her hand and a roof foot sticking out of her mouth. Oh, great. Are you sitting on top of Australia, the country?

Oh, man, this is so funny. Listen, all right, with your suggestions, put it to paper. Get the shit to us. Email us, YKWD at riotcast.com is the official website. Any of your suggestions, any photos, any graphics, any Photoshop, any videos, whatever you want, send it to us. We'll put it on the Facebook. We'll get it out there in any fat Kelly shirts. Please send them to ykw.com.

You know me, Robert Kelly at Robert Kelly Live at Robert Kelly at Robert Kelly Live.com. I'm going to be all over the fucking place. Kansas City. I'm going to go to state New Yorkcom. I'm gonna be all over the fucking place. Kansas City, I'm going to Obstet, New York Rochester. I'm gonna be everywhere. So I got a lot of great shit, a lot of live great shows coming out. So make sure you check it out.

Check it out. And that's about it. And make sure you go to our unofficial sponsors, man. Make sure you support those people. They really help out the show. Laugh button live, great people. The band dealer, gorunner.com. You want a Bandit Lear. You want to be a real man and not drop your shit and not

have to carry shit in your pocket. Look like a fucking idiot. You get yourself a man purse. Get yourself a bandit lear at gorunner.com. Those guys are unbelievable and make sure you go to yowzerfitness.com. If you're a fat fucking, you need help like me. Do it. Drop the money. You can finance it and get yourself a treadmill and get the fuck off this fat roller coaster going down all right that's about it thanks a lot guys show you everything to TikTok! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what is? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what is? TikTok! Yeah, yeah, yeah, what is?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what is? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what is? TikTok! With Bobby and Friends! TikTok! With Bobby and? Yeah, yeah you gotta let me see Fuck with it. It's not again. Tech Talk with Bobby and Bobby and

No, could you guys? Alright, it's Bobby and friends. Let's try that. That's the new sound right? Tech Talk with Bobby and friends. Okay, you just jumping with us, right? Tech Talk with Bobby and friends. Okay, you just jump in with us, right? Tech Talk with Bobby and friends. How about you? It's not bad. Joe, you do it yourself.

Uh-huh. Tech Talk with Bobby and friends. You're gonna go down on the friends, I think. I kind of like the way you did it. No, you did it good. Bobby and friends. You good? Tech Talk with Bobby and friends.

You. I love it. You too. We're keeping that. All right. and Bobby and friends I'm a little little bit keeping that talking to them I'm not doing tech talk right now real quick segment here's a deal my tech we're doing this real quick yowzer fitness you know I'm a fat fuck you guys are all young

You're going to be fat or fat or someday, especially Dan. And Kelly, Kelly will be back. Okay. Here's a deal. I am losing weight. You know me with tech. I reach not only when I find something, I'll research it. I'll compare it. I'll go to every video on the internet. I'll watch everything. I'll read all the reviews. I'll do all the specs. I'm obsessive-compulsive with anything gadget-oriented when I'm gonna buy it. And I did all my research. If you have an apartment, if you live in a one bedroom, even if you live in a house, yowzerfitness.com, go there.

They're treadmills, if you go anywhere else, they're fucking expensive, there's all kinds of fucking, even the, I wanted a folding one. The ones that you buy in the store, whatever, they fold but at an angle. So they're still taking up a lot of space. This is the only treadmill on the market that folds straight up inside itself. It's actually a non-folding treadmill. It's made as a non-folding treadmill. That means that it's made as one unit

That's not supposed to fold, but it does and when you it's so easy one hand. I can pick it up Folds up onto itself stands straight up and then you can move it You can roll it which a lot of these fucking treadmills don't do you you can fold it up Yeah, but then you stuck there you can't move it. It's ways of like 300 pounds. This one actually rolls, it has handles. You can push it around, put it up against the wall, and then when you want to roll it back, when you want it to come back down,

you click a button, you let it go, and it comes down by itself automatically. You don't have to put bend down and put it on the floor yourself. It actually comes down at a very slow gentle pace and lands on the floor nice and beautiful without you doing it. How much is it cost? Here's the deal you can get right now If you go to yowza fitness the cheapest one on there $1,000 you might say holy shit. That's a lot. You can finance it

Finance it. So it's gonna be I don't know maybe 50 bucks a month Okay, or you can pay it off Faster if you want that's the cheapest one. I got the best game, which is around 1300 bucks It's the upgraded version, but if you don't eat all the fucking bells and whistles You just want to get the fucking I forget what it's called, but it's a thousand dollars. You can stay a financing they ship to your house It comes in four days, four to five days. It's fucking brilliant. It's, I worked out at it last night.

It's in my house. I came home at 11 o'clock last night. I'm not going to the fucking gym. I'm tired. I'm fucking, I just jumped on it. I watched one TV show, Deadly Ascath. I would have done that anyways. I just walked. And then you get into walk-in all of a sudden I turned it up and I started really pushing it.

As I'm watching it, you can put your fucking iPhone right in it and I'm listening to fucking Lewis Comos' hammer-fishing podcast. The hammer-fishing podcast. Hello, posting. Right through the speakers on it, it has speakers on it. It's amazing. It's the best treadmill I saw out there because it actually, the way it folds, the way it comes down,

and the features you get, and for the price, it's probably the, I have it. I bought it. You know if I bought it, it's the shit. If you're a fat fucking, you try to lose weight, you need to really be an addict with losing weight the way you are with food. Is $1,700, I mean, is $1,000, $1,300?

Is it over time, if you lose the weight, is that really gonna fucking matter? No, it's not. So go to eowesoffitness.com, get yourself a pre-core machine, a treadmill, get yourself something, like I'm doing right now so you can live and not fucking die. And you can actually get back in the shape and and fucking feel good and naked again. I can't wait. I can't wait to show Kelly my

cock. All right, so yeah, I was a fitness doc. 16 inches. Six and a half. But when I lose weight, seven. Damn, girl. You fine. That's what I do to the top of a fucking cock when I'm getting a plan. Yeah. All right, that's it. You got anything? No. Of course not.

You brought a flight. What do you have? Oh, I got this great app. Because I have no attention span. What, what? Breathing after out of this is underwater. What is it? Scooby.

I can always say, Pomodoro. Yeah. It's an app I've got. Because I have no attention span. So when I can always say Pomodoro. Yeah. It's an app I've got because I have no attention span. So when I write, I have to time myself and it won't let you do anything else. I have to turn everything else on my computer off. So I write and it gives me intervals. I go 35 minutes, then I get five minutes break

and it rings a bell when I've done my 35 minutes. And I can have a five minute break and it a bell's again and I need to go back to work. So it's kind of like being in school but making sure that I sit down and do the work and I don't get distracted. But it's great. It's time frame. Yeah. What you call it again?

It's good pomodoro and it's free. You can get it. I do the light one because I'm tight-ass but you can like pay for like a really good one. Right. Okay. This is good enough. And it helps you right. Well, it helps me sit down for 35 minutes to stare at computer.

Yeah, for 35 minutes and just go, I've got nothing. And then you know, I have five minutes. Five minutes, guys, I have a cigarette. Come back. Eat some chips. Eat some food. Oh, God.

All right, cool. That's great. Pam, I'm going to. Pam, I'm going to do anything. I don't think I do. Nothing? No. Do you have a belt?

I got nothing. I got no tech. Spooky. SpaghettiOs. You've been using the can opener a lot lately. There you go. That's technology. Twist it. That's your technology. You fucking monster. K-Man.

You're an asshole. That's because you don't have technology. You know why? Because you don't have the desire to better your life. I'm a simple man. You're not a simple man. I like simple things. You're an asshole.

You're an asshole. You better have one next week. I want tech talk out of you I want to I want a fucking tech I goodbye Tech talk with Bobby and friends Hey, you do it Joe Tacked off with Bobby and friends. You belong, you belong You know what we need For this promise, for this promise

You know what we need We really need, really, really You know what we need For this promise, for this promise Don't stop filming my face. Don't stop.