Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Back in The Groove
Episode Date: January 31, 2013Another surprise Thursday edition of YKWD with Nick Cody, Kelly Fastuca, Big Jay Oakerson, Joe List and more. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...
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Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día.
Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene.
Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos.
Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía.
Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra.
Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos.
Encuentra los bares de Madrid la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga.
Un dominaje de Ma mal, a Madrid.
in all your devices. Plus, don't forget to pay attention to them.
You're listening to Robert Kelly's,
you know what, dude, on the Riotcast Network,
Riotcast.com.
This weekend, big, big show, Gotham Comedy Club,
January 31st, February 1st, February 2nd, New York City. I got a special guest on the show,
Amy Schumer, and Joe List will be MCN in the whole weekend. So this weekend, big show, Gotham
Comedy Club, the 31st, 1st, and 2nd. So make sure you come down, get your tickets now,
tell a friend, grab your girl, get that shit now.
It's gonna be crazy.
And the special guest who's featuring Amy Schumer
should be fucking headlining, okay?
So it's gonna be crazy.
It's gonna be crazy.
Gotham Comedy Club this weekend, get your tickets now.
I wanna really send a big huge congratulations out
to Mad Scientist, Party Hour, and the Bailey J Show
for their 100th episode.
They both hit 100, it's amazing.
Congratulations, you guys are awesome.
If you haven't heard this show yet,
go over there, go to Riyakass, get the app,
or go to the.com, go to Riotcast, get the app, or go
to the dot com, or go to iTunes and download their shows, hilarious, very interesting,
unique, fucking humor, not the same old, same old.
So congratulations to you guys, you, Bailey J, Matt, you guys are all great, and that's
it from your boy Bob.
I check it out. Here it is.
Third is the edition of YKWD.
You guys are asking for extra episodes and all that shit.
Because one, just ain't enough. Well here's two, for the second week in a row. This is
a show I forgot about. Fuck, it was just there and I just can't happen really great shows and I held this one back not that it's not a great one
but
Anywho
Here it is. There's the addition special edition truck driver special
Of YKWD back in the groove with Nick Cody from Australia Kelly Fistuke and myself and I believe big J and
it might be one of the person maybe Joe List I forget and I'm not listening to it again. So this
is just a surprise. I hope you like it. I hope you cock suckers enjoy it. Two weeks in a row you get two episodes That's it
Back in the groove why key WD enjoy
Hey gang this is Colin Quinn this is Jim Norton. This is Dennis Larry. This is Opie from a lot of things. This is Bert
Chrysler. Staying cooking you are listening to Robert Kelly's you know what dude you know what, dude? Oh shit listen here's a fact is okay I'm I'm I'm fucking annoyed right now
all right I'm starting these shows I'm not waiting for people when I'm here the
show starts I don't care if I'm here at fucking 45 minutes before we're starting the show okay we're waiting for people to fucking show up we're here
mate the show is here your Australian can about you this is the worst thing I
could possibly ask for is you Australian fucking ass twats being here got me
medicine you shaky twit fucking Roger Cody? Whatever it is
I'm I'm fucking bullshit right now. I'm fucking mad you I'm mad yeah because it's this is the deal. I'm 42
Mm-hmm, okay, I shouldn't have to
This city I love this city. This is a great fucking city. I understand I
But you know it is it's a young. I understand I but you know what it is? It's a young person city
Yeah, that's what it is
Okay, it's a young person city or rich person city
It's the the middle class doesn't belong in this city. Yeah middle-aged middle class
Get the fuck out get a car get a get a garage, get a street, a
corny street, Johnson street, and a fucking shitty fucking goddamn mailbox, and
get the fuck out. I'm gonna I gotta bundle up like a fucking asshole, like a fat
middle-aged housewife, and I gotta like go on a Costco, put a backpack on, over
sling a backpack, like I'm going to school,
and then take a stupid metro card out of my fucking hygiene,
swipe it, and then fucking 13 juvenile fucking delinquents,
who just get out of school by the way.
The kids who go to school in New York are fucking the worst.
All right, to me they look like the toughest people.
Like if you're 12 walking around the city smoking a cigarette.
But it's a two, it's like holy shit.
It's the left in the room.
I'm not done raising.
Shut your pie holes up.
What's the point of putting a wrench?
I don't care.
You're interrupting a ramp when you are fucking fucking.
It still sounds nice when you rest.
I'll say it.
It still sounds like you're happy about it.
I know they're fucking dangerous.
Nice people to come, Smy. These fucking little twits make me sick. I mean, I gotta push my way.
I'm like four of them, little fat ass hole with a, and there's fucking, they're all that backpacks because they just got out of the school. They walk on the train and when they find this, but they
stop. And there's 15 people still not on the fucking train
And I get a literally I had a push and old lady in this little fat fucking little fat fuck
It's like move you fucking idiots. Do you have any parents that teach you respect?
Do you have any fucking buddy in your family that teach you how to be a human fucking being?
You fucking little rat face cock suckers somebody in your family that teach you how to be a human fucking being.
You fucking little rat face cock suckers.
You selfish. Look at nothing.
Growing up in the city can teach you culture and can give you amazing stuff and and make you a well-rounded human being,
but it also fucks you because you're not afraid of shit.
Kids need to be afraid of shit.
Kids need to be afraid of shit kids need to be afraid of adults I was afraid of adults growing up because I got a beating from adults
That's why because I'm not done
I'm 42 sweating on a fucking subway train having a fight 14 year olds to get on the fucking thing
Because they don't know how to respect elders
And then I'm on the stupid train and I'm a psycho so I'm fucking having fights with kids and other people in this guy
You know in this lady bumps in and then another bigger guy comes in I got to fight him
I fight nine people on the train in my head on the way down here
I had five fights on the way down here in my head, and I won all five, by the way.
That's because you're fucking hammer.
Hammer, Boston Hammer, kid.
I'm gonna fucking walk up these stupid stairs, get stuck in this turn style,
because my bag and my stomach are too fat.
Walked by nine homeless people, assholes probably make more money than me
And then I go up the stupid stairs
Walk through him freezing and I'm hot how the fuck's that happened?
I'm sweating and the rule I watch Discovery Channel. You're not supposed to do that. You could die
When it's cold out. You're not supposed to be sweating under your fucking
And I get here. I got to walk up two flights to the fucking studio and I'm sweating.
There's two happy Aussie assholes.
Fuck.
The bitters up here.
Can I even have some tea?
You think?
I don't know.
You know, fuck Balte is.
I want me to sing to you, Bobby.
So I'm going to pull out my voice.
It sounds like a bird.
Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim.
The look at this one, it's quite...
It's like an instinctly dissoalting down.
Would that put you to sleep like wild noises or like waves blowing across the ground?
No, her fucking that happy fucking voice makes me happy as it reminds me of a kid.
It's like an opposite man, Chewri and Ken date.
Oh. Don't wanna kill anyone man Cheurion can't date. Oh
Don't kill anyone. I'm fucking mad. Yeah, it's just a fucking it's a hassle. I will say this though everyone in this city At least walks a decent pace. Everyone walks pretty quick. Yeah, can you sing another song please?
Shimmy eat your any me Any song, quick go, go, go
Just to spoon full of sugar helps the medicine
Go down the medicine
Go down medicine, go down
Just to spoon full of sugar helps the medicine
Go down in the most deep light full
Full way
Ba da da da da da da
Please
That makes me feel better.
Alright, we already started Joe. Get the fuck in here.
We already started. The mics are hot. I'm already fucking pissed off.
So sit the fuck down. What's up buddy? Good to see you, list.
It's good to have a fellow Bostonian here with some hate in his heart.
Other than these two happy Aussies.
How are you? How do you do? Bostone and here with some hate in his heart other than these two happy Aussies
Sitting sitting wherever you want so I would sit in dance seat
Unless you like now you near the fridge cuz I like reaching in and grabbing a bruski. Oh, yeah
God gonna drinking buddy to the Yeah, I know here's a thing here's a thing. I'm fucking
All right, just move the yeah, you don't have to move the microphone. Yeah, there you go. There you go
You remember it's been that long Joe a while a couple months. I know I miss you. I miss you terribly
You've been on the road trying to make make another go at it on the road a little bit
Try to fucking you trying to get one more shot. This is rocky
three. I was gonna say that uh yeah yeah have to be back nice to see everybody. I
thought I I thought I scored you on the down the downhill on the final fucking
bottom. Now I'm making a big move here. We'd be on the show. I was on television
last night. What? Hopefully for rape. Not real television. Not you raping.
You getting raped.
By a gay black gang.
Ooh.
Who did you rape?
Who did you rape last night?
Totally hell.
Who did you rape?
Oh, I did the Nicanardi show.
I raped Arty.
I heard about you.
I actually somebody tweeted me about it.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Some of that was a so co-tiler or something.
I don't remember these people like you. Yeah, I have
Three thousand people. That's why I thought it was funny. He was like, ah the shoes on the other foot Bobby. Yeah
What the you're here on a TV because I got on a Nick and Ardys show. Yeah, how'd you like it? It was fun was it?
Yeah, it was great fun. Good. That's good. How's the new studios? It's it's good. It's not this nice, but it's nice
I heard it's even it's amazing. Oh, it's great. How's the new studios? It's good. It's not this nice, but it's nice. I heard it's even it's amazing
Oh, it's great. There's like a baseball thing. I was playing baseball with the hardy. There's a basketball thing
Yeah, it's they have a pretty huge. I've been in this I've been on the show a couple times I
I the in the shit studios right. Oh, it was just terrible right. Oh, you fucking on each other's laps
Green room is fucking just filled with people that aren't on the show. Yeah, there's a there's still that but it's very
gigantic it's you but do they have made I don't know fight with one of the blonde girls. Oh, yeah the twins. Yeah, well warm called me ugly
Why the fucking ass on air? Yeah, why are they such assholes? I don't know. It's like you're not even that pretty.
They're pretty pretty.
No, they're not.
They're not.
No one is to you.
I think I'm twice as pretty.
Doesn't even make sense.
But I was going to throw it out there.
See if something came out of it.
You never know.
Magic happens.
Yeah, it does.
What's with the jack?
He looks like you have a T.P.
I'm there.
There's a I don't like people see him when I'm doing over here.
Oh, all right.
Boy, things have changed since last toes here
Listen man, those yeah that fucking girl said something to me like I wouldn't I would never like something like I would never sleep with him or something
I'm like bitch. You do nothing for me either. I don't like feeling a spine bone
On my ball sack. See I like a petite girl and I don't like dumb people either. They're fucking dumb as mud right?
Well one of them is one of them's nice
One of them's actually really nice. Yeah, one was nice to me and one was yeah
The other ones is the fucking asshole. Right called bad cop don't call fucking Joe list only person called Joe list ugly
You is
This is not short, but not her not her. I don't think she's that pretty. I don't think she's that pretty good
I thought they were pretty good job and find out? I'm sorry they call it juggly Joe. Yeah, just one of them.
What do I do on the show? Exactly. They they they make fun of them. That's what they do. There's two
hot supposedly uh, blondes and their twins. Yeah, that's the gimmick. They're like a PAs or something.
Yeah, PAs and that's the gimmick
and they wanna become famous,
but they don't wanna work for it.
They wanna use their fucking, you know,
hey, we're twins, we're blonde,
fucking crazy dumb twins
and one's nice good cop, bad cop.
And one, you know, they, you know,
one's kind of an asshole.
Yeah, and they're pretty hot though.
They're not that hot.
They're not that hot.
It's on the website.
Look at Jaylitz on the website.
They're not that hot. I don't know, it Look at Jaylitz on the website. That's so hot.
I know, it's switched to him.
Oh, you got fucking fat, ugly.
Go let a point.
What is it like the playboy mansion?
They just have two like hot photos.
Hi, focusing on what you're doing.
You're stalling the fucking show.
Get the photos.
If you're going to get the photos, you stop the show with the photos.
We all look at the photos and there's no photos.'s fucking already lag now you ruin the fucking flow of the fucking
Fuck him. I want to see the blonde. He's right here. You fucking dumb Australian
That big show that was exciting. I'm gonna shitty mood today. I don't know what that shows like a big TV thing
I've added 12 Twitter followers. I added 900 after I did your show. Yeah, there you go
Yeah, so there you go. Yeah. There you go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, cause we have your fan base.
They have two hot girls and we have one moderately attractive one.
So, it's not even that.
We have a hot ass showy and guy.
Look at him.
Apparently I look like a...
I don't know the way.
He's actually his posture is what a fucking supermodel does when she sits down.
It's attractive.
Yeah, he holds her elbow with her fucking arm.
I gotta stop swearing too by the way. I swear too much on the show. I swear too much in life and and if I'm gonna have a kid
I can't be swearing. Are you having a kid? I want to have a baby. Oh try to have a baby
Why do you say like that? What that you were I thought was gonna ready to be like hey? What's bad?
But boobnie about boob baby. Oh, you talk baby talk. Yeah when I have a baby
I'm pissed off because I'm coming here and I'm I'm sick
of that's way to have a baby I'm saying I'm Joe's back yeah I'm coming I got I got a bundle up
like I'm going to community college I got to put on this backpack I got to go to a fucking train
station find my stupid metro cart and then and then get muscled out of a train spot from 12-year
roads getting out of school these shitty confident co confident, cocksuckin' New Yorker kids
that walk around in gangs.
Yeah, I don't care if you like that.
Yeah, they have don't have,
they have like a half a parent
teaching them what the fuck to do.
And then I can't get on the train.
I gotta, and then I had nine fights in my head
with nine different 12-year-olds on the train.
I get down here, it's just a nightmare.
It's like, I'm 42.
I should have Alexis and a garage.
I should be pulling up and my little kid
should be running out going, Dad, Dad,
and I should grab him and go, Hey, what's up?
So, no, I'm packing on a five-a-vest.
No 42-year-old should have a vest.
I have a puffy vest.
Thanks, the girls.
Yeah, that's right.
Liz and Marie.
Yeah, they're good looking.
Yeah.
Yeah, one foe.
Come on now.
They're right, right?
How about when you're, you know what?
You know what the best part about these photos?
Yeah.
No, they're not.
They're not.
Do you know what the best part about this photo is?
Is that that's going to go away.
And then what do you got?
Yeah.
Two regular chicks.
One in ass hole.
One's nice.
Yeah.
Fuck the nice one.
The most one's still getting thrown
under the bus yeah you just nice the other one was kind of I just hate that dude I hate
that they set you up it's like bitch do you know who you deal with Joe you get annihilate
her I know but I played uh I was like I find you guys attractive oh you did that you
did that so no I made them feel bad so you and I do find guys attractive. Oh you did actually made him feel bad. No I made him feel bad.
And I do find them attractive.
Oh god.
I won on my own way.
You won in a shitty way.
Oh shit.
I expect more out of you.
Did you joke off first time there?
You were conflite I think you may have them.
I can't.
Not yet.
But I will.
That's your first.
So you're thinking long term I want to go back.
I want to go back and I want to have sex with them.
That's the ultimate revenge.
You know that's not going to happen.
No, that's super hot ass in my day.
What's that?
I've pulled some pretty hot ass in my day.
Robert, I'm going to actually, I'm on Joe's side
of this one.
He is very charming.
I can be quite charming.
Very charming.
You lie.
You have to lie about what?
You're penis.
How much money you have in the back?
I've been a bastard.
No, I'm honest. I tell them I got a small, weird dick
and no money and then people are like,
I love it.
I've been in bars with him.
My girls are just like dying.
They laugh and I'm like, oh, I love it.
You know why people like Joe list?
Because he accepts himself.
I do accept myself.
He knows his work.
He knows his work.
You go, you accept my work.
I'm worth about 14K annually.
You, Joe, and Joe has fun wherever he is.
I'm a fun guy.
Because he knows himself.
He knows himself.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me about.
That's true.
I've seen you on certain videos.
I've seen you out.
And you are you.
You know you're of pros and cons.
Oh, thanks. Mostly cons, but you know them know if you consider how crooked my teeth are in herpes
And you see the girls have fucked it's pretty wild. Yeah, well look you're a funny guy
Yeah, he's gonna
I fucked most of the girls before the hurt and that's usually his microphone
Orange stay away. We've gone over it many many times. They are
I have one right now as a matter of
I do yeah, it's been a lot of stress on your TV show, you know, oh that's the TV show
I'm not gonna be that's it
It's not a TV show it's a radio show that's filming it's I don't be payback for those girls. That's payback. Yeah.
Oh, please.
Yeah.
Please, I hope you fucked up.
I didn't mean that.
I didn't fuck up.
I mean, I hope you fucked up me when I give her a nice, herpy.
I would go to the bathroom.
I was just rubbing my deck and then slapping them in the face.
Yes.
That's a big sense.
Where did this go?
Good for you, Joe.
That's great.
Oh, that's too bad.
But it's not as bad as the first outbreak that you had.
The first herpes is the worst, yeah. Oh, yeah, it's bananas. It's crazy. Yeah.
You can even shower properly like this. Like, no, I couldn't shower. Dan Soder was an idiot.
Did we already tell that story when Soder was like, he goes, oh, man, I know what it feels like.
I've had a few, I've had a few scares. That's not what I was like. That doesn't make sense.
I have it. I'm not scared. I'm like, that's the equivalent of me going, oh, your dad's dead.
I know what you feel.
My dad went on vacation for like a week.
And then we're walking around.
And I couldn't walk.
I was like, I gotta go home,
because I couldn't even move.
And he's like, come on, man, cheer up.
Just cheer up.
And I'm like, no, I'm not bummed out.
I'm in agony.
My dick is bleeding.
I have opened the stores in my dick.
And he's like, cheer up.
It's not a mood choice thing every time you're under
where Rob against the sword I just know there's no Vincent Peel book that can help you
out of this like I mean so does Vincent Peel I don't know what Vincent Peel is positive positive
thinking book yeah wow I was already thinking about I have to apologize to about soda because
he'll listen to this and be like yeah what, what the fuck? You don't apologize to soda. He was being very sweet.
Listen man, soda will throw you under the bus
in a second about your mom.
And has in front of you.
And behind your back, I'll replay these episodes.
Okay.
So does coming to my house for Thanksgiving.
Yeah, in Boston.
Big family Thanksgiving.
That's right, because you know how I know that.
I invited him to my house for Thanksgiving.
Oh.
That's very nice of you.
I feel bad. I got him to my house for Thanksgiving. Oh. That's very nice of you. I feel bad.
I got him work to go along with it though.
I actually got him a $20,000 gig on Thanksgiving.
He didn't know about that though.
Oh wow.
Yeah.
Can I do that?
And he can well, the $20,000 has to go back to charity after.
Oh,
I'm absolutely a Bobby.
Can I have the $20,000 gig?
You can have an $8 gig.
That's a metric card.
That's okay. That sounds good. I can get time. I'm so sad. What a fucking atomic is like, dollar gig that's a metric card that's a good time
I can get a lot of sad one of
fucking the comic is like that's a
metric card comics come home now
oh no I'm not doing that to show I
did it last year what have you
ever done it no you put an award
for me I would I would I will put
an award for you from there you
done six thousand people before
uh... done
i'd love it 3,000 3,500 Uh, done. I'd love it.
3,500 or so, yeah.
I said 6,000.
Well, what's the difference between 6 and 35?
That's 25.
25,000.
25,000.
But I mean, what's this 3,000, 6,000 is pretty much...
No, that's actually...
That's a lot more.
That's a lot more...
You know what I'm saying, Bobby.
You know what I'm saying, Bobby.
I think it's actually double.
Like that's...
Yeah, that... We're going back to your herpy thing. As a professional comedian, I think you know what I'm saying, Bobby. It's a bigger stage. Bobby, I think it's a double. Like that's a... Yeah, that, we're going back to your herbie thing.
And a professional comedian, I think you know what I'm saying.
How many did you do at the upper end?
It was 18,000, that would be a lot.
But 3,000 and 6,000 is essentially the same performance
you're giving.
How big was that?
Am I right?
Am I crazy?
I'm not.
I'm saying no because I've done both.
All right.
Well, I'm saying you have to project a little more.
A little more.
All right. Happy little more. Happy little boy.
Happy to give you done.
20,000.
What was your last make?
5.
I think 1000?
100 or 1000?
Which considering Australia, fuck, that's half the country.
Yeah.
I love it.
I was thinking I was going to take Knows to go to that show.
Where you guys going, mate?
I ride, ride, ride. Kelly, you recently got a little 12 person gig. Where you guys go and mate? Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr And the high five bar? You had a high five bar? Yeah, the high five bar. Where's high five? High five at the big show in Melbourne during the Melbourne Community Festival.
Yeah.
Listen, first of all...
Nick, can you confirm this?
I can confirm that there's a place called the high five bar.
Ah!
I'm gonna...
I'm gonna actually fucking say fuck it.
Anything in Australia don't count.
Okay.
I don't...
Don't count. You're a thousand gigger?
Yeah.
Don't count.
Okay, two weeks ago I did...
Well, it's not fucking metric imperial.
500 people's, 500 people. Yeah, but it's five in Australian people. That, two weeks ago. I did. What's not fucking metric Imperial? 500 people, 500 people.
Yeah, but it's five Australian people.
That's actually 14 Americans.
All right, I did want about, on Sunday, I did a fundraiser that was about 280, 300.
Really? Yeah, it was really good.
It was really good.
A lot of funds.
How many people again? I didn't listen to you.
Like 300. Sorry for being honest.
No, that's all right. I didn't hear a word you say.
I was just looking at your face Watching your eyelashes flicker
It looked nice. It's a nice Christmas holiday type sweater. Thank you. I just came from work and I stink. Oh, well
What do you smell like sweat and I?
That's pretty great. I got pastries here for anyone's a pastry. I stole from my work
Let's not eat on the show yet. Let's try to keep some professionalism
I like how about I get my second beer, but no croissants, right? Allow me to get your
sun beer. We got to get him a beer. Show him your hands. Look at that. Look at his hands.
I have a similar thing. Look at mine. Yeah, but yours is because you see yourself naked
in the morning. Yeah. And it takes you. Jody's anxiety. Nick's just his buddy. That's what
it does. Because my hands are riddled with herpes. Here's your beer
Seriously, I've heard peace no man
Your lips though just in your lips. I
Yeah, but he'd go back to his country and he'd run fucking Australian dirt with a fucking digger-root hunk of shit and mix it up with a fucking
A beer
A wall in a wall, yeah a wall in that claw or not.
Take care of herpes mate. We don't tell you in America.
And I'm part of the puppies in the fucking fight.
Have you seen the Coca-Cola kid mate? Eric Robots.
You love that film?
Best ass. Best ass ever, yeah.
I am.
You know what the worst movie in the world is
what I mean it I'm I watched the whole thing today just to make sure I was right
I'm not a kid ready to rumble I haven't seen it ready to rumble the rock
no it's when WCW was big Goldberg diamond Dallas Pines diamond Dallas page and
Con the James Con son
Whatever his name is pull that up when you get a chance and I got you Scott come
David I can oh read the fucking list of these assholes on here
Starry David I can't all of the plants got can Bill Goldberg, Steve Sting, Borden, Jill Richie, Roy Ziegout.
Ugh, this is awful.
It is the worst.
I think it is in it.
It's the worst movie, exactly.
Have you seen his biography or his movie that he made?
No.
It's, he actually, you know the wrestlers
do the biographies now for W.W.
Well, here's was he made a short film mixed
with a real biography and it's about becoming a born-again Christian and
Once I saw the cross on fire I was I'm out. I'm out. I'm gone. I'm gone. This is scaring the shit out
So does that make that the worst movie you've ever seen ready to rumble is the worst fucking movie on the planet earth
It's I think they didn't first of all I think there was no take two at all.
I think it was all take one.
Edward, it was Edward.
It was take ones and that's it.
That's it, they just shot, cut, good, move it.
Is there a plot?
Yeah, the plot is, okay, go ahead, read the plot.
Mike Bobby Cron.
The fact that, take, well, the first two words
of the plot goes, sewage workers, which are already hijinks,
like can we just settle down?
You could squeeze a good movie out of sewage workers though.
I find stuttles down there.
I'm still on board at sewage workers so far.
Yeah.
Because it used to be so much funnier
if they have to work with shit.
Come on, guys.
Oh, see, I didn't get to do anything.
I can't do anything.
That's so fucking dumb.
They watched their favorite wrestler cheated out of his title.
I'm already bored.
I didn't even recognize fucking Reigns.
They're like, yeah.
All the plot is basically the king, okay.
He's the king and he gets cheated out of his title
and he loses all his hope and all his self-esteem
and they have to come in and they have to motivate him to be.
But literally, okay, here's a pop. to come in and they have to motivate him to be.
But literally, okay, here's a pop. The, what's his name?
It's fucking our catch dad is a serious cop.
He's a serious state trooper.
And he wants him to be a state trooper.
So there's movies going along.
They get all the plat to get his shit together.
They get them kind of back in, they're rolling.
And all of a sudden they go back in the town.
Police cop pulls up. And he's on the microphone.
He's got in the car now and he gets in the car and leaves our cat.
His father pulls up gets the car and then they go to his house and he's like,
I can't, I gotta be a cop.
Literally, like in two seconds, his father just shows up and breaks his will.
He went across the world to help all the plat get his shit together, right?
Left his dad left everything his father shows up one fucking second back and he's gonna be a cop didn't even question it
Just went oh fuck gonna get in the car you go and then he shows up at the foul rule in the whole movie
Then he shows up at the end sure they did already shows up at the end
And they do a steel cage cage mac but three of them there's three on top of it. Oh wow. It's the fucking and I love wrestling
Sounds like a real piece of shit. It wasn't there not a newer movie called ready to rumble with the rock or something like that
That just came out like he's babysitting or some shit. Oh, no, wasn't there something like that?
Any time a guy that's that's been Vin Diesel like you know a guy with muscles. Yeah. No, the two fairies, the rock.
Oh, is it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Guys, listen, first of all, you guys get the movies a year after us.
So, okay, the rock just became a star to you guys.
And we're still a big hit.
We got taken first, apparently.
Yeah, well, you were.
Well, you were a day ahead.
Wasn't that.
Hey, I just watched Brookback Mountain again today.
That's a terrific movie. That's because you're gay. No
I'm an appreciator of
Pain movies as you're dying to spit in your hand. Why can't I put it up a bum dry? Oh come on. Yeah
Yeah, it hurt me. So you watched that and think at least it's not AIDS
Oh jeez. Oh jeez. That is just downright prejudice. That movie took place before AIDS
Proyades, wasn't it? Yeah, it was in the 60s. There's no aids in the 60s
Brokeback mountain I get it's a good movie. I thought I was a good movie
But I I could never watch it twice. I've seen three or four times after we honest really do you have something to tell us?
It's a great performance. I hit the city. This is the problem. It's good cinematography great cinematography
He's on St.
No, it's a great story and See this is the problem. It's good cinematography. Great cinematography. He's on St. The Night Country's story.
It's a great story.
And, you know, I mean, do you like it?
No, get me wrong.
I will admit, I chuckle through the sex scene.
It's pretty hilarious.
I love that you're, you're just by the way out of the quit.
They spit on each other and they fight.
It's really good fun.
The fact that he's the first of all, do you know dirty the hands are, they've been fucking
rolling cattle all day.
Carrying sheep, yeah.
Yeah, and they got dirty hands and he just spits in his fucking hand well putting a dick in his dirty as is yeah but I'm going
to that is like your hand is dirty the assholes have been dirty sweaty all day is not like
they have baby wipes out there and not quality showers either there's no showers they
sit in a fucking they pan off and then you fuck fuck, I mean, do you have a, I mean, it must not be.
I think it would have been weeder
if at one point they just pulled out wet wipes
and washed off before they got into it.
You could even have wet wipes back there.
That would have been weird.
All the 60s parts really throw me off, right?
I just think that if you got, listen, here's a deal.
If you gonna, it would have been better for me
as if before they fucked for the first time,
one of them was washing in the river and scrubbing down pretty good
The other one came in and scrubbed good too and then they fucked it. We're having better for me
Was in prop 2 there was in prop 2, but I didn't like it
I know one of them would have been the bottom and be like let me just clean up a little bit right just give me five and they were drunk
I know the first time soda and I fucked drunk. We did not eat
I know the first time soda and I fucked drunk we did not eat
Jesus
You fucked dance
Oh boy, you madly Dan was gay that way the best thing about oh god Oh silly that might mean be very happy be doing voices making the guy laughs
I think you can convince Dan to be gay under the right circumstances
It just go it just go along, you know
You know I think you could convince Dan to be gay under the right circumstances. It just go along, you know It's telling that it's a career dependent. If it was like nine gay guys on the trip
He would eventually just be like, I'm gay too. What the hell? Yeah, you think so. I think you know the Rosa would do that
They're also do that to get ahead in his career
Doris is close sometimes what to be in gay sometimes he does things. I'm like really?
We're all accept that. I love you and send me photos
I'm just randomly just naked and shitty poses just from his cock tip up
Flying on oh well. Yeah, he's done it a million times. I've seen him shirtless, and it's pretty gross. Yeah
Well, it's actually I couldn't find I didn't even I found his dick like three weeks later showing somebody else the photo
I was like there. That's his dick. Oh shit. I thought it looked like a ghost in the bushes
Like a picture of a ghost dick
You never hear about ghost-sewing dicks. Yeah, they do they do they have ghost
Dicks yeah, I bet remember the movie that they the girl
Man still turns me on and I still
Fucking want to jerk off Bob or. She was in it the entity
North of it. Yeah, the rape ghost. She gets raped
by ghost. Oh, and she likes it. Oh, wow. He's here. Tits getting mushed and back then they didn't have the special effects
They have now just going to shape
I don't know how I really would love to know how they mushed their tits
But first of all, you see Bob her she's tits which are great bobberhorses in two of the creepiest kind of hot sexual things ever
Paris trout
With Dennis Hopper where he actually sticks a full fucking soda bottle upper ass or upper pussy
And you oh, it's just disturbingly hot. Oh well you You hear the soda fizzing up and pouring out of her pussy.
Geez.
And then the...
I got some watching to do.
And then, yeah, you're watching the wrong thing.
The entity trout.
They're ready to rumble, yeah.
Yeah, the entity, do you have it?
Did you pull it up?
Yeah.
Greed it.
Ah, the plot of it?
Yeah, no.
The fucking whole thing.
Okay.
From beginning.
Oh, my gosh. The key grip. Interior day.
Who rigged the lights on?
Interior day.
Sidewalk.
Let me print off the scripts.
The movie begins as Carla, she's a single mother, is violently raped in a home by an unseen
force.
Initially, convinced the attack was a nightmare subsequent episode of Pulitzer Guys activity
causes her to flee with a children to a friend's home and
And then by about this
I'll wrap her again over there, too. Really? Yeah, I think so. It's a great scene and she you know
She's sleeping when she's getting raped originally
I'm so she's kind of into it. You know what I mean? Like if I was here's a deal if you're asleep
I like where this is going. Okay good
If you're asleep and you start to get blown
mm-hmm and
You wake up and it the initial
Feeling you're gonna be like oh god. This is awesome until you wake up and you see it's me right then you're gonna freak out
Right, I'll be bummed out. Yeah, you'll be really
Probably okay, well now now I know all right, now I know our boundaries.
I mean, if you had hair, I might still be into it,
but the bald head would just...
Really, so bald head just turned your off, huh?
Wow. A little bit.
I did not expect that coming from, Jerry.
What about you, Kelly?
Would you, would you, what I what?
If I was blowing you.
You were sucking on my dick.
I was sucking on your mancliff that you have.
You're Australian fucking beef jerky. Oh, I was sucking on you a man clip that you have your Australian fucking beef jerky
This is on my balls
I'm fine. I'm fine. I've had ex-boyfriends that have been bull before. It's not a problem
Just threw up on my mouth. Yeah, what from my man jerky? I don't know what it was from
Too much lunch
So if I think for the initial couple of seconds,
you'd be like, oh God, until,
where would the point where it'd be like,
dude, don't stop sucking my dick, dude,
where you'd be like, whoa, I don't want this.
When you feel stubble?
When you'd be annoying,
I'd be trying to get back to sleep
so then it's not guy.
When you're trying to finish like a sex train.
It's a good point, yeah.
If you're in REM sleep, it's pretty straight.
So, if you woke up
i've got you hooked up to a machine to fight
yeah officially gai naa he's out of this he knows it is
snoring happening it's okay it's straight
what if you woke up and you were getting head and you look down and it was it
it was a dude
bummed out immediately i I'd bummed out of me, but would you stop?
Yeah, yeah, I would stop and cease being friends
with that person for a time.
What if you didn't know the person?
What if you didn't know him and he was kind of cute?
I mean, would I immediately recognize that it's a guy?
Cause chance at the angle, I might not even know.
Now, see, you wake up, you don't recognize that it's a guy
and then I'll be a son, you're like, is that it?
Who is, and then I all of a sudden after a
Company like oh god, that's that fucking guy at the party that fucking you know, he
Shit
What would you do?
I don't know hard to put myself in that circumstance. I would be upset
I would be like stop doing that. I would probably get physical
I would try to be angry and fight him
But then I would be scared that it beat me up and then I get blown by a guy and then it beats me up
And then I'm at his then he just then he just fucks you that he just fucks me. Yeah, that's that's how I just played out in my head anyways
Possibly because I just watched broke back mountain before it came here
Fuck yeah, I punch him and then he punches back
He's like and then he's like and then like nine other guys come in I can't whistle
But everyone else comes in I guess I can't whistle just not the way I tried I don't know why I tried a new whistling style right in the middle of my bit
Supproving can't whistle with those teeth
You know the whistle seven different ways
See like a harmonica
Thanks Liz.
That was pretty funny.
Come on.
I called you Liz.
Who's Liz?
That's the twins name.
It was a call back.
We shouldn't have made it.
Liz and...
But I couldn't say thanks one of the twins.
That would have been funnier.
That would have been funnier.
You want to try it again?
We can do this again.
It's my show.
Let's do it again.
You're teeth are like a...
You got fucking bad teeth. Thanks one of the twins. I's my show. Let's do it again. You're too lucky. You got fucking bad teeth. Yeah, thanks. One of the twins.
I play both parts.
You couldn't see it home, but I was doing a really
infinite hand thing.
I would actually, I would, I would come in his mouth
and they go, ah, ha, fag.
Yeah, I just came in your mouth.
Yeah, you showed him.
You got my jizz in your mouth, you weirdo.
I said that bad.
Then I called my wife and go, this guy just blew me. Would you addizz in your mouth you weirdo Hey, it's not bad. Then I call my wife and go honey. This guy just blew me
Would you add camon as mouth?
What if he spits it back at you?
Snow bowling then I'd be like thanks. It's mine. I wanted it back
And I fucking drink it personally. I think it'd be weird
There's that had facial hair and you felt the facial hair yeah on your
Sort of and you pick em bowls. Yeah, pubes, sort of, and you think it bulls,
pubes and facial hair, man.
Have you ever gone with a girl with feycho hair?
No.
I dated a girl who had to like shave Italian chick.
Oh, really?
Yeah, I was like, making out on a kiss to neck
and she'd like, stubble.
I did that too.
It's pretty gross.
It's disturbing because they hide it well.
Yeah.
And it's not like they tell you.
That's a bad hand to be delto,
a girl with the hairy face. I feel bad for her they tell you. That's a bad hand to be dealt though,
a girl with the hairy face.
I feel bad.
If you can feel stubble on them,
they haven't hidden it very well.
Well, you get really close to feel, yeah,
but it grows that like a tough.
No, it's whacking.
If you wax, the hair grows back so soft
there's no stubble.
But waxing the face,
can you do that, isn't it?
Yeah, do my eyebrows,
they do my mow.
Yeah, what's your well?
Mow, moustache.
I get little bits of hair just on the side there. Oh, I like the little fur man. my moe. Yeah, what you're well. Moe. Moe, my style.
I get little bits of hair just on the side there.
Oh, I like the little foome in here.
Can I just show this to my biggest fear?
That women have gone, you know, my wife's enough to tition.
She waxes women's pussy's and arms and legs and...
Oh, kick ass.
And moes.
God, do I hate your fucking accent?
That's good.
She would have waxed a lot of faces in her time.
So she does it and she does it herself too, she waxes.
I'm petrified that later in life that she's gonna get lazy or sick.
And I'm just gonna have this fucking monster that I didn't know exists.
Because she mustache comes in and some long chin hair that I didn't know.
She plucked every two weeks, comes in right box connects to her asshole and her back
muscles you know what I mean like I'm petrified that that's gonna happen right if she's sick did you
say oh yeah if she if she's sick I just yeah and then oh I'm just gonna oh god that's why I hope
that's why I'm glad that the the older you get the more your pubes die and become crystal clear
like you become see through
Sick isn't a bother, but it's more the one hair that grows it didn't know she blocked my grandma has crazy hairs in her face like six 80 hairs Like a full-man tube type thing. Yeah, she's a gym the animal night heart
gross
So much the photo
Reference, oh my god, well that's a thing. It's like what happens if you go into a coma for two years and then we actually see how hairy your upper lip is?
Oh yeah.
I mean, we wouldn't be visiting after a week or two.
I'm just be honest.
Yeah, we would be a fucking showin' up like Kill Bill
with the thing of Vaseline.
$5 a poppin' of that Aussie plus.
Oh Jesus.
Oh boy.
We doing the podcast from a Vag.
Can I take some of my, just got a little turn on my dick move
a little bit.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's about fucking Kelly while she's in the coma.
I've thought about fucking Kelly while she's awake many times.
Doesn't do anything for me, but her
Enable to speak really is her at least two weeks into a coma.
Yeah, yeah.
Real brain dead.
Yeah, I dated a girl and she.
Yeah, I met her at a red light.
She was so smoking hot.
In Amsterdam?
No, in Revere.
That was a better joke than people realized right after that.
I laughed.
I laughed.
I got it.
I was pretty good.
Is a red light, is that like an underage party?
No, I had an actual fucking red light.
A traffic light.
A really?
No, no, no.
How pretentious do you think we are that we talk like that?
Man, I'm like you're a fucking perfect posture by the way.
I want you hunched over like Joe and me.
You want to bun on a pill back with me.
Your posture is just disgusting.
I know, I can't help it.
You really do.
Can we stop moving the table?
I was kidding.
Shaky boy.
And stop touching the microphone with your shattering hands
Yeah, we got back to the house
She and we started to kiss and I realized that there was some stubble, but I thought it was me
I thought it was me so we kissed a little bit blah blah blah, and that was it. She was so pretty
You understand very pretty beautiful blue eyes black hair
Same shit. I but mine was Greek
So beautiful. That tells me and then the next night she comes back again
And I shaved you couldn't nothing I shaved up and down
Against the grain and with the grain so you couldn't feel any stubble and then then we kissed. And she didn't apparently shave with the grinning,
or against the grin.
Because it was her.
And I remember we got naked, and I was like,
fuck it, she had a mustache.
She had some under a chin.
She had like a fume and chew.
And then we started making out, and she had hair.
God fuck me, I'll throw up thinking about it right now.
She had hair coming like out of ass crack.
Like give us see that family tree commercial
where the lady's like, you know,
I found my uncle and my other uncle
and I didn't know my grandfather,
the free of this lady.
That came out of her asshole, like hair,
and her box and she had on her belly and her nipples.
I remember, I saw her nipple had a,
it looked like a magnify, you know when they magnify a hair?
Yeah, root, right, right. That's what it looked like, butify, you know when they magnify a hair. Yeah, root.
Right, right.
That's what it looked like, but you could just see it.
Like it was just a thick, like, you know when they do the new razor, when they have five
blades, one pulls it up, the other one cuts it.
That's the cartoon image.
The cartoon image.
The root.
Oh, God.
Did you have one of nipples?
She had like four on each nipple.
But rogue hair, nipple hair is not that rare though.
That's why I get it.
I see a hair on a nipple every once in a while.
Yeah, I get it too, but here's a deal.
Wrax it.
That's too much for Wrax.
She made came out at that point.
One just talking about that.
Well, it's one thing in your relationship
and time has passed and you're like, oh honey,
come on, you get a crazy nipple.
But if it's early on, you got to get a nipple transplant. get somebody else's nipples. Did you still fuck her? Yeah, of course
Oh
Fucking my uncle
What have exfoliated bowls? Oh my god. I was like fuck it Lily was like fucking my uncle Who would have exfoliated the bowls?
Oh my god, I was like fuck it Lily was like fucking moose pussy
That's all
Oh, yes
You could have heard of the asshole
Do you know moose actually eat pussy?
Really?
Yeah, moose eat pussy
Moose
They eat each other's pussy
Not human pussy
They all moose lick
Yeah, of course
Oh, I thought you could just get a girl it out in Toronto and a moose would come in
New York of Canada whatever. Why'd you pick moose jar Canada?
I haven't done that gig yet
How many is that safe who books it?
2000 yeah moose e pussy
No, he's that safe. Who books it?
Is it 2000?
3000?
Yeah, Moose E. Pussy.
Moose, a male moose will lick.
Is that true?
Yeah.
Do they 16 hours?
Who do that, would you?
Yeah.
That's amazing.
No, they don't lie down.
They have fucking asthma.
They're sticking with all four legs up.
Yeah, the snowbank on the side of fucking 93.
No, they...
Makes me respect Moose a lot more.
What?
That's pretty great. Well, they eat the pussy to get it going
They look the pussy to get it going and they fight first
They most do yeah, yeah, they're gonna broke back again. Oh
That wasn't big. That wasn't great. It wasn't great, but it wasn't bad. It was as goes a red light
Disgriple it was a little forced all right
Why is it so dark in here? It's very creepy because we're in the day and it's winter and it's getting dark out
You've never been in here. You've been in here. The shades are closed if you had the shades open the lighting is also weird
It's very red and you but you've been in here
During the day right and you've been in there at night, right? You've never been here at this time a little dusky
Yeah, but I'm saying even the lighting is very yeah, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't affect anything here
It's a good point. Yeah, just I don't know why you're picking up on that. It's just you know, just let it come
I'm a little I'm getting down. I was in a good mood and now I'm getting sad could be the two beers
I just slugged but why why you why you knock drink anymore
No, I'm just saying it's a depressing. I haven't drank in a few days though. That's good. Yeah, taking a few days off
It's good once you fucking take 27 years off like me
That's I don't know Seems like a lot of work.
Do you know to the day?
Do you know the boss sets?
Yes, absolutely.
I've been sober for 27 years.
25, fuck.
So much.
Jesus.
What is the thing?
If I drank like these guys,
those kids would have been dead on the subway.
I probably would have still drank if I could drink like these guys
and not get into a fight every five seconds
So which one of rob something you know name any guys just cry
Yeah, if I cried and the mirror and and fuck Harry chicks and watch brope back mountain when I got drunk
I would I would still be drinking. I watch brope back mountains sober. That's even worse
Now if I watch the drunk then I want to fuck guys. Did you see 007?
Woo!
Let me change that.
I haven't.
I'm not a big 007 guy, but I've seen Argo twice, and it's tremendous, and I saw Flight.
Ah, it was...
Ah, Flight.
Flight?
Flight is about alcoholism, which I didn't realize.
I thought it was like an action movie.
That bummed out?
It was good.
It was good.
It was fun.
Argo is amazing.
Argo is, um...
Can you explain this to me, Argo?
I'll try
the movie yes
uh... i thought there was a follow-up question now there's a i wanted to explain
the movie oh it's a great great movie
tell me the story uh... you know the uh... the uh... they uh...
the spoil is because it's been spoke is it happened in life so right the u.s.
embassy you know it taken over by the iranians back in eighty or seventy nine
i guess
and uh...
and uh... there's like six americans escaped and they hit out in the canadian
embassy
they got stuck there
and they were like we get these fucking people out of here
uh...
boobly boob so the cia came up with a plan and the plan was uh...
this guy toney mendez aka benaflach should have said that the other way around
uh... he went up
he went up to the mrs not also known as bent aflach
i just got here one second
you haven't found it you're not gonna get it
okay well i mean i'm explaining our go
yeah well yeah he's explaining keep on the uh... most pussy thing
uh... search
yeah go ahead
cypher so uh... they came to see i came up with this plan So yeah, he's explaining keep on the moose pussy thing. He made search. Yeah, go ahead.
Cypher.
So they came up with this plan that they were gonna make a fake movie.
They like created this whole movie in Hollywood and wherever.
And then they faked being like this Canadian film group to get them out.
Of course it worked, but the movie unfolds very dramatically and it's humor.
John Goodman's great.
And Affleck is good. It's really john goodman's great and aflake is good
it's uh... really alan arcanist great it's a common to write it's like a dark comedy
issue type thing but uh... it's more dramatic it's one of those like y'all
cheery oh really fucking great it's it's fucking great
that you think the iranians like it
uh... well fucked in they probably haven't seen it
i was wondering if these fucking other countries that
You know, I think we make these movies about like where we're like yeah like Russia Well like fuck Russia. I know they put the thing at the end
Well your country and my country could be one. You know, I know we did that at the end
Right, but I want it. It must be suck for Russia back then during the Cold War to have them lose
You know what I mean? Yeah to have a movie that's so popular, but their country's shit in it.
I think sometimes I heard or read or something that they like change the dialogue around
to make it seem different.
No shit.
I've heard that, but that might be like a mousse pussy fact that I just made up.
Well, that's like a thing like France.
If you notice, since a lot of some movies where we always take a shot at France.
Right. It's because they always give us shit because in our action movies, it's, it's, um,
we always, we're always the heroes. Right. The rest of the world needs us to live from the
asteroid of the aliens. Yeah. We do that in our history books too. Yeah. One of the worst lines
I've ever heard from an American film in Armageddon and it's so like my baby
Yeah, I'm a get it it. Yeah Bruce Willis is sitting around the table the world is gonna end and Bruce Willis says
The United States government just asked us to save the world. Anyone want to say no get out of here
Fuck head
I think the worst line and that was and they don't want it to pay taxes
Forever I I think the worst line of that was uh and they didn't want it to pay taxes forever
I think the worst line in that movie
What the worst line of that movie is I don't want to miss a thing
That that was a real tragedy for all of New England when arrows went to shit
It was like oh god now we're down to the cars and fucking I cried during I'm again
You did I don't know why I did I cried
I'm a minute, you know, I don't know what type of I'm watching I'm a fucking back broke back mountain
Whatever the fuck that movie I'm gonna get him and Bruce Willis goes I'm gonna go that I don't know why crying at an emotional
Moment with emotional soundtrack soundbending the background with live Tyler almost crying is gay
I cried what world do we live Tyler almost crying is gay. I
What world do we live in when that's wrong? I cried during our go you should see it. Oh the master is terrific too
I'm not watching the master. Oh, hilarious. You love it. You fucking alt comic. What is that Paul Thomas Anderson?
What is it about tall Thomas Anderson? What the fucking guys name is it's oh it's no walking Phoenix and
Philopsy more Hoffman. What is this really fun? It's a it's uh... it's no walking phoenix and uh... philipsy more half
men what is this really fun it's uh... it's a real it's real weird but
basically walking phoenix is uh... has like as opposed to world war two guy
post-traumatic stress syndrome boost bag
he's crazy and then it's basically about Scientology like uh... oh shit
i heard about this movie yeah philipsy more happens like the leader of like a
cult and then philips uh... walking phoenix is crazy they're both crazy
they meet and it's really it's really hilarious
like it's like dark cow i don't even know if it's supposed to be funny always but
it's funny do you see a lot of movies i see ones i like good
good move like movies that get good reviews are supposed to be good i like
certain directors and whatnot i don't see a lot of movies but i do in this time of years, when all the Oscar contenders come out.
I'm just gonna see a movie tonight with my wife.
I wanna go see W7 after this.
I say Lincoln.
Tonight, it's out tonight.
Now, now, now.
It's Lincoln at yet.
What's that?
That's from the preview.
I've seen that preview like 70 times.
From Lincoln to Louis, yeah.
I thought there was some 007.
No, and she's, I do wanna see Lincoln. I'm a was some 007. No. And she's.
I do want to see Lincoln.
I'm a big fan of Lincoln.
I heard it's great.
Linda, you have found it.
It's out.
It's out.
It's out.
Nothing.
It's out and something.
I'm having a hard time.
I missed it.
I missed it.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
That was the first race show to the show.
Yeah.
Well, I thought we were talking about the movie still.
I didn't automatically assume racism just because an African-American entered the room. You should though. That to the show. Yeah, I thought we were talking about the movie still I didn't automatically assume racism just because an African American entered the room
You should though. That's the problem. That's a good point. You should and my god. You look amazing. Yeah
She's so beautiful. Oh my god. I can't even
Has anybody ever seen? Look at her with that getting a thump. She's fucking amazing
You don't want you don't want nothing to do with me. I'll thump in your mouth
I can still appreciate good pussy. Yeah, but you don't you don't you don't want nothing to do with pussy. I'm thumping your mouth. I can still appreciate good pussy
Yeah, but you don't you don't you don't fucking look at her. I'm talking about her pussy
I'm talking about how beautiful she looks all of a sudden it's better pussy
It means as a whole you know, all right
She's got a lot of women wear world championship belts
Cuz look at her wife. She's the intercontinental champion
Yeah, why my wife has a lot of those big belts I'm not a big belt. Because look at her white. She's the Intercontinental Champion.
My wife has a lot of those big belts.
Why do women have those fucking I am the championship Hulk Hogan belts?
It's like a conveyor belt.
Yeah, yeah.
Women wear these fucking goddamn, let me throw produce in a basement belt.
I would let you win me with that though.
That's what I would do.
Why do women wear these big belts?
What is that?
Shapel.
Shapel. Oh, it's shapely. Okay, we already shapely
You're already shapely. Why don't you get a disco belt?
I
Can't even look over this guy to do a disco. I don't even know what a disco belt is. It's a little thin belt
Little thin belt. Yeah, geez. Oh, they're fucking great little tiny belt buckle
I have to really focus when you put it on
I heard that I've done this joke in three different places. I heard that right before when Wilkes Booth shoots Lincoln
He says smile you son of a bitch. That is a Spielberg joke
jaws
Can I tell you something that killed on Facebook?
Should we all give you a thumbs up there?
Yeah, really? Oh my god.
I love Jaws. I think Jaws won my favor.
Smile, you son of a bitch.
Yeah, Jaws was great. Jaws too was fucking okay.
Jaws too wasn't that bad. Oh my god.
When he got the electrical wire and he blew.
He's comparing it to ready to rumble though.
So I was gonna touch a.
And I'm gonna get it.
I'll walk all around him.
You're fucking, you know,
you don't cry it I'm again this summer, are you?
No, I didn't cry.
At the end when the father dies,
and he's gonna save the world,
that was you take care of my greatest.
I got to, I got to, I got to,
that sort of stuff.
I don't remember if I got to,
I'm gonna get in that. I cried at that, I cried at that. I'm so fucking literally cried at that. I get to that sort of stuff. I don't remember if I got to read I'm a getting that I cried at that
I cried at that I'm so fucking literally cried at that I'm a getting tired of hearing about this
Good night everybody take it where's the heck are you after we get rid of that?
I cry like X factor I cry when people audition and then dreams get across and find out of them in front of the
Intense I love I try when I cry when people actually get their dreams granted to them.
It makes me, no, seriously.
Right.
It makes me, I love when somebody actually wins in this
business.
When I see that on TV, I flip out because there's so much
shit in this business.
There's so much shit, shit people
that don't have to worry about money again,
that have paid their place off,
that are driving Mercedes, then they're just shit people.
Shit human beings that have it, that made it,
and continue to make it,
and continue to fucking strive.
It fucking makes me sick.
And it literally could, if I think about it enough, it will have a dark cloud of me, It's a good one. It's a good one. It's a good one. It's a good one. It's a good one.
It's a good one.
It's a good one.
It's a good one.
It's a good one.
It's a good one.
It's a good one.
It's a good one.
It's a good one.
It's a good one.
It's a good one.
It's a good one.
It's a good one.
It's a good one.
It's a good one.
It's a good one.
It's a good one.
It's a good one.
It's a good one.
It's a good one.
It's a good one. It's a good one. It's a good one. It's a good one. That's like when Tom Cotta was on um uh was America's Got Talent or something? Yeah that fucked me up. Yeah.
In a good way. Yeah. Yeah. Cause like he was a good guy.
Well you can throw your tissues away Bobby. I'm going nowhere.
I'm going there fast. Look I like Billy Gardell when he
when he got that show. I didn't cry but I was so happy.
So happy that a guy like that got a shot like this
Somebody on the other side said yes to a guy like that instead of saying yes to these fucking scumbags
These these people that treat people like shit on I hear stories
I've witnessed it myself of these people that just constantly shit on people that
that myself of these people that just constantly shit on people that fuck with people and they're all about being famous all about having money all about wielding this power over fucking
people and and they continue to get shit and they continue to strike and it makes me fucking
ill it really does I I cried at an NFL films clip last week about about a player who's out on his balls and the bench.
It was a really cold day.
I understand that after being in the snow for the first time last week.
I was like, you know what, that he's really brutal.
It was a guy that quit NFL like playing in the NFL for a year because his wife had cancer.
And he shaved his head because she lost all of her hair.
I just stupid. Really?
And I'm kidding.
Well, I even had the NFL film like they had the NFL films guy voice over the top.
You know the fucking Anderson Cooper.
No, not really dickwad.
Really?
Really?
He's serious, Bobby.
It was a trap.
Nick, I could say it coming.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's just so defensive about bringing it up
that may look that she makes me terry but i think that stuff that makes me cry cry
it's happy movies i'll cry
rudy you see rudy oh my god
yeah that was my shit
why where did you cry in that movie where is where did you cry
when he gets accepted in this this
fuck yes
and runs away yeah yeah
most people say when he runs out of the stupid tunnel
i don't know i mean that cry when he's
all of the uh... the part that really makes you cry is the father when he goes,
yes, yes, yes, yeah, that,
go Rudy!
That part, I'm like, forget about it.
I shit my pants and smell it.
That's how I feel.
Do I like that to be my ringtone?
Yeah, when he does that, that scene, and then he's like,
uh, then he was yelling,
your brother's going to Notre Dame.
I'm getting chills thinking about it right now.
That, when he, when he sits on that bench, when he sits on that bench
and he opens up that ladder for the last time.
And he's that man, I don't know if the,
I'll fucking get teared right now.
I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it.
That's how I felt when I got Montreal
and then I got nothing out of it.
But still, I had that feeling.
Yeah, because you know how hard it is.
As a guy like you, Joe, you're fucking hilarious.
I heard about you before I knew you
Oh, that makes me feel good. You're fucking great on this show. You're a funny guy. I've seen you in videos
I seen you in that Mauricio video. Oh, yeah hilarious. I cried when we made that right
I cry anytime Janus gets anything I cry
But it's it's when when you get something like that I look man
I cry when I get stuff. I don't cry, but I get emotional because I look at people that get stuff and you're like
I don't okay. I'm cool with that good for you, but I know that person's an asshole
I know that person treats people like shit
I know that person doesn't fucking doesn't give a fuck about what he and I know so I know me and other people that really need it and
about what he and I know so I know me and other people that really need it and
Deserve it and would appreciate it that don't get it. I know guys on the road
Just fucking having to give up piece by piece their dream of be making it
Year after year until they're on some fucking ship somewhere or some fucking crappy gig in the Hampshire just to pay rent
To pay for their fucking kids back to school's clothes, you know?
It's sad, it's fucking sad, man.
So when people do make it,
when I see people get something,
I get so happy inside.
When I see that on TV, I love it.
I love like the voice.
When they get the second chance.
Oh, you see the one with a girl that had,
what's the hair losing?
The Z-Pisha, this girl and she was beautiful,
which is this amazing voice and I had like the chairs
Well like the back to him and said this amazing voice all turned around
I saw that she was bald and you know I mentioned kids and she was crying
Because she's like, oh you couldn't even see it. Oh, fine. It's really good. Right. I
Thought I'm gonna say her hair fell out when they turned around. Yeah, she was so excited.
Then I turned back.
What you're saying?
Turn your phone off.
It's buzzing.
Which would be worse.
Which is dad.
You going to take it?
Yeah, I might.
Go ahead, take it.
Go.
Take it here.
Talk to him here.
Which would be worse, being girl going bald or having too much hair.
The face and the thing.
Go going bald for now.
No, no, no, sorry.
The other one. The hair on his face. Let me talking to your dad for the dollar for you. No, no, no, sorry the other one the other one
That's worse. Let me talk to you dad. Yeah, yeah, there's a do you guys have the greatest shave here?
What there's a there's like a a big fundraiser in Australia
Where people raise money and then guys shave all their hair off and girls will cut their hair
As short as they can and it's to raise money to make people with cancer feel better like I rule in this
We do stuff like that, but I don't know if it's that it's cool bat
Yeah, maybe it's cool something on it. I'm not extreme like that
But I did a fun ride. We just do it as we're good people, but you guys have like a whole thing
We're gonna fight an alligator today. We'd do it out of the kindness of our hearts
But if you guys have an event that's fine. I'm gonna jump on this river and pay to navigate a pink today. Sorry guys. Sorry, sorry buddy. Your father alright? Yeah,
he's alright. No, because he wouldn't be, he wouldn't be able to hear you. He's hearing so bad.
Is he doing some shakutri today? No, my sister-in-law is a week over Jew so I'm waiting for the call to
say when this baby's coming. Oh for the baby, yeah. Yeah. So he's like, a week over Jew for a second. I was like what the hell is that?
She's
We do do that. We're okay. She's she's weak over Jews
I don't give a shit I don't care anymore. I cry little kids all the time I cry when I see kids get hurt on TV
I fucking cry. I don't I don't know if I'm getting a soft
But I also get in rage and I want to violently murder people
on not the other end.
Right.
Like, I, this thing.
They go hand in hand.
Yeah, I think.
Yeah.
I have a similar thing.
Yeah, certain stuff just enrages me and I want to fucking,
like when they bring up, like some guy went in
and took out his whole fucking workplace, I get it.
I don't condone it.
I don't think it's right.
I think you should control that or seek help
or get you shit together.
Nothing's worth that, but I get it.
I understand where somebody could be pushed to that limit
and then they don't know how to put the brakes on
and go fuck this, I'm out.
This is not worth it.
I understand what people can be pushed over
because people fucking sucked.
Yeah, it's not that great a distance between crazy
and saying sometimes I think.
Like, you know, I'm walking through Times Square
at Rush Hour, or I had the other day I had to get
from, you know, Caroline's at six o'clock
to like a grand central, and you're trying to fight through,
I would like to just fucking shoot everybody.
But I don't have that thing.
But I don't think it's that great a distance,
mentally away from being like someone being like,
I'm gonna get a gun and shoot all these people.
No, it's not like Miles away, it's like six feet.
Here's the thing is that you go in a work all the time,
you know how many people get shit on,
at least we do what we love to do.
At least no matter, you know, I mean,
some people, yeah, I know.
But here it is, you still have hope.
Yeah, but like, it's pretty, yeah.
I don't know if you like, I don't know.
I don't know if you like, I had to like,
have a conversation with people lately and they stink.
Like I, especially after the hot day.
I'm doing it right now.
Hey. Ha, ha, ha, ha. I'm doing it right now. Hey.
Ah, Jailis is back.
Back in.
Personally after the hurricane,
like I had like the best people coming going,
you didn't get to work for a week
and I'd like take care of you like tip-wise.
And then you get the fucking savages that just come in
and go you're not even a human being,
like leaving me two quarters on the table.
And I'm like, I over-tip, I over-tip here
because in Australia
you don't have to tip, tips not people don't tip because you're scumbags.
No, it's because everyone gets made more. I'm joking.
I feel for the game. I guess this is not CNN. I'm just fucking throwing stuff out, some of my
works, some of my knock, but you don't have to fucking do that.
The hammer on CNN. People are ridiculous. I had a good...
Because they get paid more.
Bobby?
No, no.
I had to have an argument because I'm at the point now where I want to argue with everyone.
I had a guy today who got to me.
He goes, I want to make sure that the plate is hot.
And if that plate isn't hot, I will be sending it back.
And I just want to be like, I want to fucking punch you in your face, Cokhead.
Here's the thing though.
Cokhead. Cokhead, punch you in your face, cockhead. Here's the thing though. Cockhead.
Cockhead, I like that.
Here's the thing, that point that you're bringing up
is a good point, but it has nothing to do
with the point that I brought up.
Oh, wow.
Which is that.
Done.
We all, we all, we all follow our dreams.
No matter if you have to wait tables or whatever,
you still are going to do this or a show.
You know, we're all doing what we love to do basically.
We have this dream or this hope or this thing
that we're still chasing.
Some people don't have anything they're chasing.
Some people, they don't have a dream.
Some, most a lot of people go to work to pay rent to eat.
Yeah, right.
To survive.
Some of them haven't even written a book
that they can get on Amazon.com for a check.
Some people haven't even done that.
What do you get the book?
Amazon.com.
By clicking on the link on your website.
Oh, you mean ryecast.com.
If you want to ryecast.com, just click that thing.
You know what, dude.
And click on the Amazon link to buy cheap.
Just throwing out just a-
You'd be helping out this podcast.
I can't speak for the audience, but I have no idea what you're talking about.
I probably shouldn't have-
Because what we call as suck in Australia.
A mess suck.
And if you like video games, you can go to myriacast.com slash rubberkiller live.
I love video games.
And hit gamefly or go to gamefly.com slash ykwd and have you get a free two week trial membership.
And if you don't like doing this at the end of the show, we can do it right now in the middle.
Slip it in so you can't avoid it.
Right, you can't hit stop.
You don't know when we're coming back.
We can go back to topic right now.
Like I-
Following edge rames.
Or we can just go donate at the donate button.
Yeah, I mean, we all love we do.
And we think about the guy that goes to work
has a couple of jobs to pay the rent
and his fucking wife doesn't bang him his boss is an asshole and then he's getting
bumped into and fucked with these stupid kids in the train are yelling and
screaming seriously if I had to do this every day I'd have to leave the city
right I'd have to go I can't be around walking through time square walking
around this city can be so fucking annoying
because nobody gives a fuck.
You run into the shittiest of people.
Especially in Times Square,
because not only don't give a fuck,
but they also don't know a fuck.
They're just like walking sideways
and taking pictures of street signs and fire hydrants
and pictures of cops, where you're like,
we have the most might
I'm not the biggest billboard I've ever seen or right so just let me take a fucking photo and sorry
People taking pictures of like trash barrels and shit, which I do when I go away
I'm like in the Midwest taking pictures of like the piece of corn. I'm like look at that
So I'm like an asshole I'm there. You have an Instagram to take care of
What are you talking about? Get the throw some filters on that and get some views
Right. I don't have Instagram. I think Instagram is cheating, it's bullshit.
People are like, how cool this picture is?
And you're like, will you fucking doctor it up?
I love it, I love it.
You're dumb.
I have not done it.
First of all, you're right,
I do have you on this podcast a lot.
So I'm stupid.
Hey, zuzzing.
I love Instagram for the simple fact that it does that.
And it shows how easy that stupid fucking art is.
That's a good point too.
Here's the thing, I took this photo that,
you know what I mean, middle-aged women
fucking have nothing and then they go to photography.
I'm gonna be a photographer and they get a camera
and they take some stupid photos and blow it up really big.
Hey, Linda's right here, man.
Ha ha ha ha.
The people that we have on the show actually bust their
cunts taking photos of stupid people's faces like us lighting
it, working it out. And she's in here with a camera. And
that's what you get. And Phil and and gay fucking what's his
name? Gay Joe, please don't let me say fucking just in the
middle. I get a stop swearing. Gay Phil, all gay Joe, what's
his name? Yeah, gay Joe. and then we get a baseline as well.
These guys actually are working their asses off like, we're doing comedy, okay, the same
thing they're doing, but these people step into it and want us to have a showing, you know,
what fuck you. So I love Instagram because it shows how easy it is. I'll take a photo
with a camera phone and put a filter on it and it looks like something you should be hanging a museum
Go fuck yourself and your dreams fucking middle-aged women divorced assholes
I touch of code and
Thank you Kelly. That just comes me down. Oh, I'm in a bad mood today. All right. I'm in a very angry mood Today, it's I you I don't know I'm in a bad mood today. All right, that's fair. I'm in a very angry mood today.
I don't know.
I'm in a shit mood all week.
I'm in a very shitty mood.
I don't know what it is.
I don't know if it's this time of year.
But you should take your own advice.
You're following your dreams and you get your dreams
and whatever bullshit you just said.
Apply that inwardly.
You know, you're supposed to go.
That was for these two assholes.
Yeah.
It wasn't for us. All right, well, she's they're both making more than I
mean, you're making more, but they're they're waiting tables. That's true. I watched
I'm joking. Excuse my Anderson Cooper. I am not. I watched Brook bag Mountain today. I'm
living the life. I've been in a miserable mode lately. I just don't know why you know, I think is this limbo
I've been in waiting for these shows to maybe get picked up maybe not maybe I'm just sitting here waiting for a no
Which is just sucky. That's a good name for a book sitting here waiting for no just waiting for no waiting for a no
And it's like your autobiography will be my it's not as good as I said it. I know but you have success
Yeah, but I don't have anything I'm sitting with you
Five o'clock you've got a cardboard cut out and a legions of fan. How much is a legion?
It's not 53,000. Let's put it that way. What that's a that's a big legion. That's not a that's not a lot of legions
My you've got a David a say they code just the tip that you can get on Amazon.com.
Not a lot of people don't have that.
You can buy it from my website on Amazon and make me money, you money, and Amazon money,
and it makes everybody happy.
You can hear the website rooftopcomedy.com.
You can buy Joel this so far, no good?
Very funny, very funny CD.
You can see me white and tibals downtown.
I agree with one of those as well.
Yeah, of course downtown Cheers, I am
Yeah, well there you go. That's what that that's the that's the end of the show when you guys run out of beers
That's what we do now. We put enough beers to end the show
Haven't refueled the beer zone a while
Yeah, we haven't had Joe in over we have you
What is he a fucking steroid baseball thing? I'm a little slow
Sorry, I'm struggling
I mean, I'm I'm the funniest in the show so far, but I'm struggling
You got a slow back right now because you've been carrying it. I do have a slow back
I
I give a slow back because I carry on my tension
I
Watching broke back on
Trying to flip your legs over your head and a tub. I've come in my own face before doing that not doing that But I think Jay Augustine is a great bit about it. So I should stop my story here. What is it?
I mean, I don't know the bit, but I remember watching it and being like that's fucking hilarious. Yeah, Jay's a
Supposedly a very good dirty comic right so funny just a really funny guy. He is right. Oh, I suppose, a very good dirty comic, right? So funny. Just a really funny guy.
He is, right?
Oh, unbelievably funny.
Sometimes I sound sarcastic,
because I'm talking like this or whatever.
Well, you were.
I'm sorry about that funny.
Just for laughs, Sydney.
Yeah.
A few weeks ago and he was unbelievable.
He was in a show a few weeks ago.
Yeah.
So when I open for your mate,
Billy, boo!
That's another thing.
I don't get shit.
I don't get any.
Come down to Melbourne, come Melvin coming from anything from anybody
My fucking you know I'm on the road all the fucking time
I'm busted my ass
I get nothing I never he never fucking compliments my comedy. What are you talking about?
I come in comedy all the time. I have pictures of you on my first notebook. We talked about this
You're one of my my idols. This is a thrill to be here. I appreciate being here. Yeah, I just wanted to get you
One of the funniest guys ever met in my life. I can't even believe we're friends. We're really not friends
We don't even talk outside of here, but whatever
You're not made to sing songs Kelly just compliments
And you and LC likes who Nicole him to invite him somewhere and he gets the chance to say no
And you would also like to call him to invite him somewhere and he gets the chance to say no
I'm gonna meet oh I like when you never call me. Oh speaking of inviting places
We're running out of patriots games. I don't know if you remember that back in August when you're gonna have the Boston guys over to watch the pants
Yeah, they look like three games left. Well, all right. So let's do this. Why don't we do it?
Well, I right, so let's do this. Why don't we do on it? Well, I'm away most Sundays I'm like you do
I don't know. I don't mean we get a look at this get you all boo boo to your house
Kelly and I fell don't come to my house NFL dot com
Pat's game my house. That's gonna be you me gum and Dane. I thought gaffin was gonna be there
We were gonna have Johnny Damon was gonna be there and yeah, who else?
You know John Kerry. I don't know. I'm trying to name John Kerry. I'm trying to name Massachusetts people. I
Well, let's do this. Let's let's have this party. We need to become better friends. You're right. I think we should step it up Let's get our pants off. I see what happens. I think we should spit each other's hands and come at each other's faces
You don't want to touch my hand, but I was a beer by the way. All right take it
and come at each other's faces. You don't want to touch my hand, but I was a beer by the way.
All right, take it easy.
Oh, man, you'd love, as a drinker,
if you come and do gigs in Australia,
I was stopped trying to sell the shrapnel.
I would love to go to Australia.
Man, if you come to Australia,
what happened to me?
You didn't get me there.
The same as me all the time, dude.
People were drinking.
The same as me all the time.
I'm all the time, dude.
Who's Australia Bobby?
You know football though,
so because of the time difference,
the 1 p.m. games here started 4 a.m. Monday morning.
Oh, that's fun.
And it's Australia on the East Coast,
so like we have Super Bowl Monday.
Keep talking, I gotta piss.
You shut up.
What are my favorite quotes ever, Charles Schultz?
Don't know what the world ending today,
it's already tomorrow in Australia.
Oh, really?
Yeah, it's very nice.
Oh boy.
Oh boy.
Oh boy.
If you come down though, it's great.
Yeah, I would love to, but this is Super Bowl Monday.
It's good fun. This happens to me all the time, people were great. Yeah, I would love to, but this is super cool Monday. It's good fun.
This happens to me all the time.
People are like, hey, people would love you materially
on London, they're like, how do I get there?
How do I book the gig?
You just pay for yourself to go over there.
No, you got a done.
You can get this visa and a W-4 and a car and a fucking,
I don't know if you do.
A shot on a holiday.
You're on holiday. And'm here on a holiday.
And I've enjoyed my holiday, so far.
You just do it the same way that being Nicky've done,
like we just, you can just say,
I'm going.
You can line up a run of gigs down the East Coast
at the different clubs in the big cities,
and then they all chip in to get the visa
and pay for your flights and all that.
Oh, it's a good run.
You're probably over there for two, two and a half weeks.
Doing the East Coast, then you can go West Coast
to do Perth if you want.
The shit of the West Coast?
I thought Perth, the history on the West Coast.
Yeah, but in between is like fucking
but it's just hell, right?
In the middle down the South, right in the middle.
Yeah.
There's a city called Adelaide.
Oh, wow, I'm really heard of that.
Yeah, but they're the most of the cities,
I think like 90% of our population or 95% is on the East Coast
all rings
I'm really back my good Aussie geography. I am so sorry
I'm just I apologize. You know, I'm listening to the shows the last couple weeks. I mean so off
So dribbling. Yeah, so unfocused and annoyed.
Well, that's weird.
I'm trying to have a kid as well.
I don't know.
Well, you know what that's just for.
I do miss, Joe.
You know what, I do miss the,
we have a lot of different people on.
And I do like the synergy that we create
when we have the same people on a few week in a row.
Love a good synergy.
It actually does.
You get a vibe going, but I can't hold people to,
I'm not paying people to be here.
So I can't, if you're going to go do a gig
and you and Dan had to take off and do some shows.
So I'm glad you're back, Joe.
Yeah, thanks.
Yeah, dude, what would you say, fucking Roger Paul?
What would you say?
It doesn't know my name. I was on a Roger Cody. He said, uh, he said apparently I look like a stunt double.
I look like a stunt double and want to be great action moves.
You're not like a star or an actor. You're a stunt guy.
And I look like every bartender in New York City.
Yeah, yeah, any bartender.
Let's see what.
Well, yeah.
But, um, is it stress what I'm trying to have a kid?
You said your question. This is the point of my life I'm at right now.
Well, this year, if you look back, I had a book. I became a published author. I had a
book come out. What's a cold and wake? And you get it? It's called cheat. You get it on
Amazon. Fuck. It's cool. You know, we shot a pilot and I'm trying to have a baby,
but this is all there's a lot of limbo life I've been in.
You know, we just sit in there.
And now it's like, you know, I got it, you know,
having to, when you do all this stuff
and you build it up and you work hard
and you, after you do it,
there's, if you don't have something to go on to right after,
it's kind of like, you collapse at the finish line.
Yeah. Like, oh fuck.
And then you're like, what do I do now?
Now I gotta go back to work.
I gotta go pick something else up.
And you know, okay, let me go do my, I want an hour.
I think the next thing I want to do is get an hour and film it this year.
So now I gotta go through my act.
I gotta, I gotta, you know, fucking brush it up, polish it, get these jokes that are okay and make them great.
You know, cut down the ones that I think are great and really see if they're great.
And, you know, I gotta do all this shit.
Now I gotta go back to work, which is a hard thing to get it.
I'm overweight too.
You know, again, all this fucking weight.
It's a nightmare.
And now the winter comes.
I get depressed when the sun goes down at five o'clock.
I remember, there was a comic that used to come to Boston.
He came me, me and fucking Patrice and Billy were there one night.
What was his name?
Shit.
Um, John Priest.
Do you know him?
None of you guys know this was sad.
This business is sad.
This guy came to Boston next one time, went on.
He goes, it's dark out at quarter to five
It's what what the hell is going on? It's dark out. It's quarter to five. That's all we remember from this guy
But he that's on film I know it was it was before sign fell to do yeah
That's so dark out. It was very very much. What's that?
Is it no? Come in here. No, can you please? I'm a no fucking mood here. That's that? It's a name. Is it no? Yeah. Come in here, no. Hey, ma'am. Can you please?
I'm a no fucking mood here.
That's what we're talking about.
We're talking about no moods.
What happened?
Didn't you see the election returns?
What happened?
Obama won.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
Come here.
Come here for a second.
Would you?
I have to do something.
Come here for a second.
What are you going to do, really?
Oh, boy.
Boy.
This is how I got to go. Sit down at the fucking thing. Sit over here. So here's the deal. What are you gonna do really?
Sit down at the fucking thing sit over here
So here's a deal. It's like this whole thing life is like trying to have a kid
You try and and you try and and nothing happens and nothing happens and nothing happens And then you're waiting and you waiting and then it happens, but then it could die
You have to wait and you get a wait and wait and wait before you tell anybody because if it fucking dies
Then everybody thinks you have a kid then you go tell him it fucking died and you had a flush it down a toilet
So you got to keep waiting and waiting and then won't just tell you can tell people that you can have a kid right then all of a sudden
You get a wait and see if it's got you know deformities a down syndrome and then you're gonna make that decision do flush it then
Because do you want a kid that you know is licking pennies or do you want a kid that's fucking making pennies?
You know
Penny is licking pennies. I don't like that. That's the fork in the road in life
You can either lick pennies or make pennies. What are we doing?
Wow
It both sound okay to me
Okay to me. Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay. Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay. Okay.
Okay.
Okay. Okay.
Okay.
Okay. Okay.
Okay.
Okay. Okay.
Okay.
Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay getting dark and fine. There's another thing too. There's another thing too that you'll understand as you as you progress in your career too. No,
you will. You will. Kelly, you won't, but you too will. When you become a headliner and I've
been I've been I've been I've been home for three days in the last two months. Okay.
And when you get older and you get a house
and you get a chick and you wanna be home,
you actually wanna go home and you can't.
You have to go out in the road
because you have to make this money.
It gets a little, you get a little petty,
you get a little fucked up.
You're in hotel rooms, you're talking to yourself.
Like I said, you have a fight on the train
with six different people in your own head.
I fought six people in my own head today, coming here.
You start doing that shit because you're alone a lot.
All of a sudden it's like, fuck,
and then you get home for a day and you're like,
oh, thank God, I'm here, you gotta go.
I've been doing that for years without any money.
Yeah, but that's the thing, dude.
You don't have.
I lost $4,000 coming here.
You guys, you have no roots.
You have no roots.
When you get roots, when you get a chick that you love
and you might marry or you move in with
and you buy a house or apartment.
I have a check, you lost me after that.
But when you buy a house and you get a apartment
and you get your bed and you guys picture it all of a sudden
you're in that stage of life that you'll hit
where you'll enjoy being home.
I was in your spies to fucking never go.
I was at the seller until four in the morning,
hang out looking for the next person to talk to,
the next laugh, the next fucking cry,
the next, you know, fight, the next fuck all the time.
I never wanted to go home.
I can't wait to go home now.
I love my house, I love my check, we go for round.
It's almost to the point where it might be too bad
where I gotta start, you know what?
Let me go back to work and hang out the sell a little bit and hang out a little bit because you can get a little
I don't want that to happen either. I don't want to be home with her all the time and become a normal asshole
You know fucking doing gardening and shifts you lose your mojo that way Rob. You can lose your mojo
But I think you can actually gain a different mojo and a more powerful mojo
If you do if you if you enjoy your life that you've created and you got like a Ray a different mojo and a more powerful mojo. If you do, if you enjoy your life that you've created
and you got like a Ray Romano mojo.
Yeah, I'm not that stupid.
I don't know.
I said it.
I mean, like your routine to become about having kids
and stuff like that.
But you have a kid, I mean, how fucked up was it trying to have a kid?
It's terrible.
No, no, it was easy.
Really? Yeah, here in asshole. She's terrible. No, no, it was easy. Really?
Yeah, you're an asshole.
She's Puerto Rican, and we've been through this.
I had that.
I'm sure for God.
She was double pregnant.
It was a lot harder to,
almost years have not been getting pregnant.
She actually got pregnant while she was pregnant.
The baby had a baby.
He had short bets.
But Bushka dolls.
Those are the Russian dolls.
Yeah, I know there you are.
I love that.
I was joking being serious.
It's just, I've been in a fucking, it's a,
God damn it dude.
I don't, maybe it's this time of year too.
I don't fucking like that.
Change of seasons always makes people
a bit nutty.
You'll love the baby more.
What?
You'll love the baby more because it was so hard
to do it when you finally do have a baby.
Yeah, but this is scary on the shit out of me too.
Okay, now you have a baby.
Now you can, right now.
Okay, if everything fails, if everything goes away, right?
Say fucking my career shit to the bed.
They find out about the fucking kid stuff, right?
I'm kidding.
No one of you wouldn't want anyone to say what's on that laptop. They find out about the fucking kid stuff, right?
No one you don't want anyone on that laptop that didn't shock any you
Talk about that before it comes with the steak stuff. Anyway, I was the kid and that's I blew a guy for a steak
Long time ago you blew a guy guy easy first take it was first
take a blow guys yeah not gay I did it only
first time that said it was the end of the
weed is this really true yeah when I was a kid what it's that mean like how
old do you that's traumatic too no I was in a crib is 27 I don't know I
forget I was in first grade something like that
First grade second grade. I don't know. I was in a closet. I put it in my mouth The blowjob is not the weird the appreciation of steak when you were in second grade is what's really interesting
I'd have it tasted steak was so good man. Did they taste similar the blowjob in the
No, the fucking blowjob tastes like a foot
Do you remember you got a lesson? Do you are talking about you're a rap by a rabbi? Do you
remember? Whoa, whoa, that's not what I say. Do you
remember the taste of the of the penis? Yeah. Do you
remember the taste? It tastes exactly like my penis. Do
you remember the steak? Yes. No, really? Yeah, I remember
the sauce you put the a1 on it. That's why I love a one
I just sparkles and cock. So you blew him and then he took
you out to a restaurant. No, no, no, no, no, no, he's not a date your home. So how did
you give you a gave you a what you did? He gave you a gift certificate that he was a kid
too. He was a guy. It wasn't like a grown, it wasn't an English teacher. I was trying
to get a better. My don't want to see that the story is full of all.
I'm just empathizing. I'm sorry empathizing. I'm just empathizing.
I was like, kid, a kid had a steak.
Well, he was cooking, he was a nerd kid.
A first grader was cooking a steak.
No, he wasn't a first grade.
He was older than me.
You blew a nerd.
Oh.
This is before, this is before,
before he gives a motor.
Now I know you're lying, Robert.
Yeah, I remember he was a real nerdy kid.
And I was hanging out.
I was pretty much more blessed if you want to know the truth.
I mean, I didn't know what a fucking steak or a dick was until that day.
Or when I was little hobachies.
And I remember he had a little hobachia on the roof.
And he, yeah, fucking, that's it.
Yeah, put it in my mouth.
How old was he?
He was young, 47.
Good looking young. He's a civil fox. How does he know? He was young 47. Good looking young. He's a civil fox.
How does he know?
He was a civil engineer.
Post-pubescent?
Did he have pubes?
No, could he ejaculate?
No, no ejaculation.
So you were bad?
That's not so bad.
Good looking cock, though.
Remember that. It was nice.
It's nice to know they had a pre-shape move.
I remember I don't think he had pubes.
He was young too. He wasn't like molestation.
I think it was that exploration shit more so than molestation.
Because I don't think he's a kid.
I think because I had to go through this in rehab.
Because you know, the guy in rehab brought me in the room one day.
He goes, I want you to tell me the most deepest,
darkest secrets you have that you've been carrying around your whole life
that you will never tell anybody.
And I came clean and I said, this fucks me up
because I'm not gay, I don't wanna be with him
and this happened to me and he goes really
and he goes, he brought in four dudes,
he goes, you know, Kyle, Jake and Danny and Michael.
He goes, have you ever fucking blown a guy?
Have you ever blown a guy?
Have you ever seen that guy? Yeah, ever been there all like, yeah, yeah.
And I was like, yeah, that's a natural thing.
Kids experiment, you don't know sexuality.
You don't know vaginar or a penis at that age.
So, you don't know what's gay or what's not gay at that age.
And you have a dick and kids do that a lot.
A lot of kids do that.
Yeah, that's true.
That's true. That's true. It's a fact.
At least that's what I'm fucking telling you. I don't want to disabuse you. I'm telling people
that until someone goes, yeah, I suck to dick. I did. Nick, you suck. No. You play with a man's penis.
No, why? When you were a kid, no, because he's Australian. They don't do that. They jerk off
alligators over there. You molested what happened to you I would hold us my wife. I was not molested. Yeah, you molested
I got a real you molested you know walking away from this one. It doesn't matter
I wasn't molested anywhere the rabbi
Sustrapene tried to molest me and I and I stopped him. Well, how'd you stop him?
You need stop him I
Don't really I don't really remember.
Yeah.
But I'm judging by the clues I was able to clues afterwards.
The stains on your little pen.
A little forensic test I did in the slides and the black light.
I don't think I think I
love your breath I think I stopped him I think I stopped. Why you can't go near a clean tub because
the smell makes you throw up. No he he was uh I can't tell this. What happened? He brought my
my go ahead. My father you know I hadn't um. No, no, no, no, fuck you. Hold on, hold on, I got it.
Hello?
I got to call you right back.
He's telling us the molestation story.
That's his wife.
My father, uh, hadn't, he decided at the last minute
that I would be bar mit's foot and he hadn't kept up
with Hebrew school, so he, so this was to punish you.
That's what the Jewish people do to the kids.
Yeah, so he called the temple and they sent a tutor
Just like your dick. Yeah, so to me to get me ready for my
So you learn something
Joe get off your phone you fucking shout. I'm just checking the time
It's not a boring story get off your phone people don't like people. He's telling're on your phone. I know I gotta get the other thing. I'm listening to the story
I'm gonna tell everything so so he some my father decides this is gonna be
Date night for him and my mother. I guess so they they leave me at home
Some reddened red light but you know
This is a time when when sexual
Malestation was not on the radar people didn't realize that it was really something to worry about right so the guy's telling you know what it means to
be Jewish yes yes and I know it you know what it means to be caught around
you really know what it means I said well you know it means that your parents
are Jewish you Israel but it goes what else I'm like I don't know he goes
Jews a circumcised that's how you know no way it says you know where
their circumcised and I said well I kind of know but you know actually I'd
never seen an uncircumcised penis at that time. So I really didn't
understand the whole thing. Right. I just knew that I had been circumcised. So he says,
where's your room? I said, it's upstairs. So let's go up to your room. Right. So this
is a gentleman. So yeah, so he takes me to a room right there. And he says, sit down.
So sit down on the bed. He says, now lie back. And I lie back.
Yeah.
And that's where I don't remember.
I'm getting hard.
No.
So he starts to undo my belt.
We had a belt.
I had a belt.
And I said, I don't know what I said.
I said, I don't want to do this or something like that.
I started whining or something.
I don't know whatever it is.
And he just backed off really yeah and then he went on with the with the Hebrew school lesson
Really yeah, and then when I got home when they you put my father got home right I told him the story right and
Mad at you that didn't use the second stock no and and I told him and I still didn't even realize what was I didn't realize that old
I don't know what I just didn't like the experience that I had this guy trying to
take my pants down, you know, I didn't sign up for that. If that's a bar, that's a
being bar misfit men. I want to be.
He blew I just undo my pants. Go. So I just I remember what my father said when I told
him the story says next time you hit him with your purse. Ha ha have saved me the food addiction problem I have now
and the bad breath, phobia.
I have nothing from second of dick.
Oh, wow.
I'm sorry, I'm zoning out because I'm in the middle
of something serious with my wife.
Okay, well listen, this gnome, thank you for stopping on
and telling us your last station story.
Are you alright? Is everything alright?
I don't know, Robert.
You know, the fucking storm is killing us.
Obamacare is killing us.
It just happened.
It's not gonna be killing you already.
Well, because we lost the busiest day of the year
at the bars around the corner.
Oh, really? What was that?
Halloween.
Halloween. Oh, I forgot.
Halloween is worth two New Year's Eve.
No shit.
Really?
Yeah. So why don't you promote a Halloween party?
Why don't you do a since at you know seriously and I could be out of my mind
Why don't you promote a Halloween party since everybody missed Halloween?
We're doing a Halloween party at the at all the clubs you come dressed up and you get some free whatever and
You'll fucking sell the place
out. And you know what? Everybody might pick up on that. I don't think it would work.
I'm glad that I'm glad that you take a chance. Would you would you would you dress up in the
middle of I saw someone dress up last Saturday that they were going to a party that got canceled
because of the thing. Would you do it? They look silly. No, I wouldn't. All right. How about
you don't dress up? Just say, fuck it fucking we're doing a Halloween party because we missed Halloween
Come down you guys Halloween we're doing Halloween over because we missed it
Fuck Sandy and we're doing Halloween and you just throw it see what happens my my gut tells me that that won't work
First of all you have that got has fucking rabbi giz in it
All right, so I'm gonna get your purse and beat it
All right, so I'm gonna get your purse and beat it. Jesus Christ.
Listen, I love you guys.
Your podcast, first of all, is my new favorite show.
Honestly, God, it has become so good over the last couple of weeks.
I don't know if you know the...
You gotta get...
I can talk about that.
You gotta...
I can talk about that.
I'm gonna go fucking business, man. You gotta get get Joe on Joe is hilarious. Oh, I don't know if you know you first of all as a comic
Why is not working here? I have no idea he's
Nick the Pollo's opener. I worked here briefly. Yeah, all right then we know now he failed
Like six years ago. Yeah, dude. Let me do the talking on you face a humble twat
I was like six years ago. Yeah dude, let me do the talking.
I'll show you face a humble twat.
I fucking idiot.
You really are just dumb.
We're trying to set you up for a whole new round
and you're like, I did work here,
but they stopped using me.
No, it's a place to remember you six years ago.
It's the point.
Sorry.
So you should SD.
Well, no, you should have him on your show.
He's hilarious.
He's on my show all the time.
This is Joe.
I'm very uncomfortable.
You should be with Aka-Lay.
See what happened? That's how much the, I was that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much that's how much Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait. He was way early. But first of all, your show has gotten so much better. You're getting these guests on every week.
Last week, you had the Ryan Conrader.
It was fucking amazing show.
And the week before that, you had Colms, right?
Alan Colms.
And this week, we had Barry Sears,
the inventor of the zone diet.
Get the fuck.
I know, he tried to call me to get me on it.
And I'm like, why do you want, oh, I get it.
Fat Joe, right there.
Yeah, how did that go?
It was, you know, the thing is, you know,
remember there was this article in Time magazine
with the kid breastfeeding.
Are you really looking at everybody in this room
and going, do you remember that?
No, we got a lot of attention.
I'm trying to forget it.
It was like, a good thing.
It was this Dr. Sears.
I remember it too then.
Attachment, attachment parenting was this hot issue.
I remember that. So I asked Meredith Meredith the worker to get me doctor sears
But it turns out the guy does his own diet is also named Dr. Sears
So she books the wrong Dr. Sears so now I don't want to insult Dr. Sears
I have no interest in diet
You weigh a buck so wet so Dr. Sears is not his way. And I realized, this is not the attached
or parenting Dr. Sears is, so I said, oh, shit.
I got to pretend that I'm interested in diet
as I'll get somebody fat to be on the,
so I call it Robert.
Robert!
Oh, this is my show.
I thought you could help me get somebody fat.
And that's the matter.
So I have a rolling, so.
But anyway, it turned out to be a really, really,
really interesting interview.
The guy's a pro.
He's interesting.
I'll tell you why the show's fun is that you have Dan
Natiman, who is by far one of my favorite.
I should have, I mean, he is great on radio.
He is voice, his comic timing, and his intelligence.
Is so perfect to be on a radio show.
And he knows when to step in, and he knows when to step out.
And he has his own little segments now
that you give him, which is great.
And then you're actually, which enhances you,
because you're not as funny at, no, I'm kidding.
You're, no, you're actually have taken over the show
and made it your show.
Finally, you've made it your show finally.
You've made it your show because you've gotten these guests on
because you're an intellect.
You like to debate, you like to have conversation
and dialogue about certain subjects,
you can fight and argue and learn things about people
and teach people.
So the show has become so fucking good, really good.
So if you listen to this show,
if you're a fan of riot cast, comedy seller live on the network is by far just a outstanding
show. Outstanding show. Thank you Robert. Yeah, you should have, I mean, I would
love to, I would love to see this thing be videotape. So I would love to see a
video of this. It would be great to have video because number one, you have these
people coming on that are famous now that you can tag them
on the internet and YouTube and it would grow so much more.
I would love to see video of these interviews you're doing.
Well, can I just tell you that Riotcast,
first of all, you guys should put up a website
for each one of our shows that we can easily post photos
and video clips of the show.
Right, that's not hard to do.
Well, no, we have that.
We're working on that now.
We're working on Riotcast TV.
We're any show, we're gonna have every show have video
and it's on page.
And it all goes together.
Like we videotape the show in the book premiere
at the Village Underground.
We're putting that video together.
That was the first Riot cast TV show we did.
And then we wanna get shows like you,
and then we're gonna have a main page.
It's called Riot Cast TV with photos and videos
that people can go to and watch of all the shows on that.
Right, and each of us should have our own password.
We can upload photos and stuff.
I guess that we had Steve King, you know,
huge Steve King, to talk to the guy from his own diet right and I would like people to be able to see
just how huge he is they wanted the author Stephen King but they screwed up
I is funny he's one of the best he's a fucking he's a sniper yeah so and also Robert I got a new
piece of hardware yeah which will what can allow us to
Interface telephone calls into the mixer. So there's it. I just just came in the mail today. Well, how much is it?
I got an eBay how much a couple hundred dollars did you buy from my Amazon thing?
On eBay. I know why don't you go through Amazon and get it and make us money. It would be new. Oh, okay
Sorry, what page did I get the Amazon link from?
Right.
I cast that Rubikah.
Oh, wow.
Here's the thing though.
So if you want to make calls, that's going to be great, right?
Calls for your show.
Great.
Calls for my show.
No good.
Not why?
Because, first of all, we just talk about whatever comes up.
We went from fucking killing people to movies, to him jerking off, to broke back mountain,
to you getting molested. It just goes where it goes. So you would never have a reason to call into that. Well, this is jerking off, to broke back mountain, to you getting molested,
it just goes where it goes.
So you would never have a reason to call in.
Well, this is, we have, this is the thing,
we have people call up and they go like this,
hey, I don't even call in.
I mean, you could call like, you know,
Dane Cook or somebody, you know,
my Dane Cook, Dane,
and we haven't, I don't know,
or someone likes me anymore.
I was gonna say,
he doesn't even like me anymore.
I realized I was like,
I have a way more,
he wouldn't have the phone.
When somebody, you're like, you could, you could,
somebody, somebody like who could be interesting
in the conversation.
The yours should do calls where people could actually call in
where you could text out, we have this guy on right now,
do you wanna talk to him?
Call in.
You'd have to have somebody screen it though
and people really stink on phone calls.
I mean, like yesterday I could have called you.
Yeah, to talk to that. And that's like yesterday I could have called you. Yeah.
To talk to my father.
No, that's right. Yeah.
Fato.
Listen, we have a Fato on call online one.
Go ahead, Fato.
Fato from Fatsville on Fats Street.
Fine.
You don't need to use it.
I'll be going to keep it.
But here's the thing.
I would love to use it, but I, uh, I, your show is becoming amazing.
I just want to let you know that.
It's really one of my doctor Steve show.
Oh, um, I, you know, a show in Dr. Steve show. I don't to let you know that. It's really one of my... Dr. Steve Show, oh, oh my,
you're showing Dr. Steve Show.
I don't know why somebody hasn't fucking picked
these up and put them on serious.
They're great shows, great shows.
Nannerman really should just have his own show.
No, he's good on your show.
Stop, take the compliment, shut your face.
I'll go deal with your wife.
All right, you've chiled my lester.
Oh, I'm sorry, child that got molested. Let's see, there's a difference, you know. Ha, ha, ha. Alright, you have child molester. Oh, I'm sorry, child that got molested.
Let's see, there's a difference, you know. Good for you. Yeah, great, great time.
All right, guys, we're out of here. We're, we're done. I just fucking, that's known by the way,
who owns the Comedy Cell of Village Underground. Support his clubs because apparently he lost
double New Year's. If Joe is paying for beer, he'd fucking make that up.
That's what we're going to do here in Indian Puerto Rican,
Yellow Jew. I want to thank everybody at the end of the show, but you guys are great.
I had a great time. We're going to do all these promos, all the plugs at the end real quick.
So you guys, thanks for coming, Joe. I'm glad to have you back on brother. Have you back? I appreciate that I was lost without you guys
I love you buddy. You're the best. I'm eating right nice to meet you. I have a drinking buddy
Yeah, you drink like a fucking like you're gonna the electric chair
Yeah, it's he's medicine you can two for one on me. He needs to look as he has that shake
Quick look at your hand now is it shaking as much now?
See it was shaking a lot more before.
See how much it's all mulled out.
All right, so we got a dobly moat.
What's your name again?
Dobly moat.
Nick Cody.
Nick Cody.
Now a very funny community from Australia.
Dude, thanks for being on these last couple of hours.
Hi, thanks.
You've been a lot coming from this.
I appreciate your fun.
Yeah, that's it.
I'm spread the word and you're fucking God damn crazy.
I certainly will.
Come on, you're a good friend to have Susan Provin.
Who's that? She's the head of the Melbourne comment crazy. I certainly will. Come on, you're good friends with Susan Provin. Who's that?
She's the head of the Melbourne comment.
Is that what Jay went to?
Yeah, he went to a Sydney one.
What's the one?
No, Sydney just for laughs.
Just for laughs and sitting there
to open for Bill Burrett, the upper house.
I've never got love from Australia.
Really?
Any festival, nothing.
You should come along.
Nothing.
You've done just for laughs, haven't you?
In Montreal?
Yeah, I love those guys.
Yeah, you've done a Montreal one.
They're the same people that do the Sydney ones.
Put it out there, babe.
I'm gonna do this slow.
Put it out, not put it out there.
You'll get it.
You put it out there, I swear to you, you'll get it back.
I'm going to fucking a rubour in a couple weeks.
That's all I'm looking for.
Yeah, and I'm staying in your house.
Woo!
I'm gonna put web, I think.
Five.
I'm gonna have to shower heads at a bit day.
Yeah, and there's gonna be web cams every
I'm gonna catch you I'm gonna catch you fiddling your stick. It's fine. I don't
Wack off in your house. Yeah, you will. You know, I'll absolutely you will because I'm gonna leave fucking
Luscious vibrators all over the place. Maybe Kelly will have me over the Patriots game. Hey
Hey, I love this. I'd love to catch you trying to finger fuck her while she's driving on your cameras.
Yeah, and then you have to go to my top and just blow yourself and come in your own face again
That's a whole different story. No, don't even all right
Hi, no, thank you for coming on. Thank you. You'll let us use your place. How do you think of the place? Anyways, you think it's nice
Looks great. That's right
All right, that's it you guys. That's another episode. Yeah, another episode. You know what,
dude? We'll see you guys next week, whenever that may be. Alright, we're going to do the promos
real quick. New way doing them. Joe, go. This weekend, I will be headlining the comedy works in
Montreal, New Year's Eve, I'll be at Helium Comedy Club with Gary Golan. You're in Montreal?
Yes. Headlining. Yes. Okay. That's great. Go! Nick Curry here at the Nick Curry on Twitter. I'm at the Sydney Comedy Store from December 6th to 8th.O.I. if a is easy. And someday that will change.
And Linda go.
You can follow me on Twitter at LC photography to
God you're sexy.
She's unbelievable.
Yeah, I can't even.
Hi, that's it.
No more don't talk.
That's what happens.
See what happens.
I fucking did it.
I fucked up.
Robert Kelly live.com.
All my dates, my award winning app, the final
where I'm going to be near you. The podcast is on there. Riotcast.com app. It's unbelievable.
12 of the best podcasts on the fucking internet for free every week. And the app is free
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Make sure you support us,
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Take care, bye bye.
If you have any questions or constructive criticism
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Those emails go directly to us. We look at them all so if you have
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Please send them to ykwd at ricast.com. We look at them all we take all your suggestions to heart and we try to implement them
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Get it through that link.
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My wife hates me.
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Subscribe to my show and the other shows and leave a review you don't understand that these this shit's free and that helps a lot
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Make sure you subscribe spread the word you guys are fantastic. Thank you so much. You are so beautiful
To me You know what I need?
This box, I need this box, I need this
You know what I need?
Really, really, really, really
You know what I need?
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