Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Backstage at the Jersey City Comedy Festival

Episode Date: April 14, 2014

Robert is joined by Dan Soder, Luis J Gomez, Joe List, Craig Mahoney, Matt and Chris from Laugh Button, Kelly Fastuca and Chris Scopo. Recorded backstage at the Jersey City Comedy Festival. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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No direction. I love doing it. This podcast has no rules. Can I get a microphone? I'm sure I've already touched on their work rap. It's rubber killing. You know what, dude? You know what, dude?

I know what, dude? You know what, dude? I know what! I guess un-boying cast a girl I guess a girl Shine Come Bride It We are live from Jersey City Comedy Festival with let's all move in a little bit. Get Lewis a microphone please.

Thank you Dan, thank you Joe for untaggling your own things. Let's sit down. Hey does anybody have a razor blade? untaggling your own things Hey, does anybody have a razor blade we can open up this fucking snake a little more Have a nice sharp knife anything we're in a restaurant maybe the chef has one And then he was just a hook on the outside of the car Let Lewis in a little more you fucking fat hip fucking Aussie. Sorry, I didn't mean that. I've seen a lot of for Stukatoop kit. I got a fucking turn fucking soda down already. Sorry, I got this velvety smooth voice. Here we go, Bobby. What the fuck? You don't have

a nut. Who are you? Greatest knife ever. All right, Lewis, Shay Gomez hosting the show. All the show all right now with the Jersey City Comedy Festival Kelly for sickest sitting on the floor. Yeah, I like how she's very close to my crotch. This is a rarity in my life Thanks, Kelly It is my birthday nobody's wish me happy birthday except for Joe list Excuse me. Excuse me. Did I not... Kelly, you showed up and you ate meat. That was what it idea. What did I do? The answer was, and then a goddamn thing for me.

So full of shit. He smoked a vaporizer with me. I wish I had a birthday the first day I saw you. I'm the one that started the Happy Birthday. I think it's unprofessional to do shows on drugs. Yeah, same here. This is good. Or with leather pants on.

I think it's unprofessional to say. And here's the other thing. Bobby Kelly walks in like a fucking diva. He shows up. He looks like a rock star. I don't like him dressing nice. Why? I like him dressing like a I finally found out who Kelly is. Do you remember the little goblin in Empire Strikes Back that's around job of the hunt? She's like, hey, you bitch. But she's not job with the hot body kind of You land oh Cal Grizzian everyone knows that oh my land oh

Cal Grizzian It's not Cal Grizzian. What is it? It's Cal Rissian you fucking dumb dumb job is not in Empire Strikes Back There is and Bobby would obviously be job all who we fuck you in the Jedi Honestly be job all who we fuck you Listen, let's just get this straight happy birthday He doesn't have a dad he doesn't have a mom. He's got no family. You understand the cries for help He said 19 times and we ignored it. Nobody is me. No one said my birthday He's in his fucking 30s and he still gives a fuck about this one day. I do no I didn't I know you know when I stopped getting Christmas gifts When I was like 11 I stopped getting But the

Dead no parents to make have jobs to make money My mom lived until she was like to I was like 22 23 right me three. I'm talking about you. I'm 17. I didn't add up. I know I didn't get gifts and now that I'm a little more this I think that's why I'm so obsessed with my son and like the love that he shows me because I've never had that unconditional type of love before. Right. Okay. Now, well, you have it from us. We've, we, I don't think there's a, but you banned me from podcast for three weeks cuz you fucking stink You're an asshole That's all like smell wise

Like what like drugs Jim Really drugs? Did you smoke weed are you high right now? Yes? Are you high a little bit from earlier? Didn't earlier 15 minutes ago Why don't you what do you have to lie to him you're not a child he lied to fucking Lidel what was what was the lie about that you like to offer? How was the lie about you like to save your ass with that one save shit on me, bro Oh, did I like you so me he's a real ass dude when everything blows over but when it's going down He's like really you really do that for me

You got it soon you fucking idiot. Thank you. Is that my birthday present Where's fucking king who The fuck is key Why is he on the show he's a T-Shout stand-up show Why is he on the show he's the show stand up show He said to me he was like dude he was I had to put myself on the poster. No shit. You didn't put yourself on the poster. Where's he at? Yeah, why didn't he put himself on the poster? What I Was I think I broke the chair. I think you fat boy, I can't have cake of course you can't no sure in the rain's good. What's up, soko?

I'm sitting on the ground on it as you should you hippo Jim Morrison call he said keep the pants. They're all stretched out now Get a list part of me truly believes that Joe list has an on as has an autistic gear that he can just Go connect emotion. I feel like he's like they squint I feel like it's like the terminator and he just puts shit It's like all red and then he just how funny was it when I fucking April fools that Now Joe list almost fucking cried. I felt like it was first of all I thought you were joking until like 40 seconds until you said just kidding Right and then I think a lot of that felt real to me. What was real? I'm not a good actor

I don't know how Community theater mother fucker Community theater you just wanted to say community theater as a Punctious it sure it is is this going to be a podcast yeah you can't Oh you are really you're a diva you're a diva can't show is a diva What got his well listen and I want to start writing it in a single couple of episodes So you're you're on the show tonight. This is your comedy festival. Yeah Jersey City comedy festival and You dress like George Clooney for some reason

I mean why not He does all right. This is the most annoying place. I've ever tried to get in a vehicle by the way It is a pain in the ass, but it's the place is great though is it why can't we do the jersey the jersey city comedy festival in lower Manhattan just to make it easier for everybody we can raise the money and good for a good old man and moved here that's why it's all that's why it's a different another fucking a terrorist so everybody over here one more nine eleven will have the entire high-end finance sector right here all the all the that day you know the buildings over here will like yeah all the projects Yes, the slum loads my patriotism was hurt too much

So I wasn't thinking about business what patriotism you were here I mean I was in Arizona and I was really thinking about it here while stroking a ball I was here. Who's here and I don't know 9-11 I was I was in Jersey Everyone was here. I was like I was still living down the shore I was in Jersey City and how fucking ironic is this you set it up You're the mastermind I I was filming the episode of the job with Dennis Leary And I was so maybe that's a thing maybe there is about to be another 9-11

I don't say guffa bit. What's wrong? Come on, dude? You take it to April Yeah, I'm going to April fools Maybe there's a 420 Yeah, I was filming the first day of shooting on the job and I was in my trailer and I remember the all the There were all these chicks and bikinis were walking by because it was a beach scene. We were down the Jersey Shore and I had my trailer open because that first time I was second time I have had a double banger, you know what that is?

No, do you think it does? Really? You know what it is, right? Yeah. Yeah. You're always. When you get an acting job, you either get the honey wagon, which is the little thin thing. H. Dub. Right? an acting job you either get the honey wagon which is the little thin thing each dub right

little week by the way Bobby was praying for the honey wagon he was like oh honey it really is a real life winning the pool Bobby like that you had to make it funnier I can't stop looking at Loose's one mark something inside of his people people don't like Lewis so much They didn't laugh at a real good one And they when you said it right after him they laughed

That's how much they love you and not like you to real on my birthday. Sorry happy birthday And you patched it yeah Here's my fat jeans cuz I went to the Brazilian steakhouse cuz they are jeans Cuz nothing good can I have a Bruce Lee and say cast because the Eugene's because nothing Good can I have a big can I have that microphone cover that's the bomb bandana for Mission to look at my phone for a moment my girlfriend's in like a really serious Okay, she's in March mad is Caroline says that I've really serious situation

Someone could fucking get mad and it is when you don't get bounced in the first round I was fucking filming some shit now, and I couldn't fucking film shit. Yeah, I can't talk about it Were you in a honeywagon? I was in a honeywagon film shit. Oh Sorry, there's a mic right there. Just grab the mic you guys are sharing or scobo He's like this is my mic buddy listen don't piss all over the fucking host He was hosting You just grab the mic back just say can you get that that's all he's holding it? I Yeah, listen why you why you not on the poster? I forgot all about that. I did I did

Because it was a you know what my back stuff I didn't think anybody Yeah, it's not cold. You know what dude plus Craig yeah with the weird hair dude You know what dude podcast we have other people other than you fucking four five Really feel like drawing my fucking self either first. Oh, my here's what I don't like I don't like how he Jews You could tell the amount of the amount of respect you really don't want to make The amount of respect he had for the person is the amount of time he took to draw their face on this poster So you guys all look fucking great then it gets down to me and I turn into a fucking

You respect crack get at the post I wish you a happy birthday as soon as I sell you Get at the poster. I wish you a happy birthday as soon as I saw you by the way I'm sure actually here. Same here Craig. I forgot or I do her or Chris go by here's the way the show's gonna roll okay Lewis you're gonna host boom Then then we're gonna put Dan soda Somebody else buffer we're gonna put we're gonna put Scopo up next all right then for stuka Okay, yeah, and then we're gonna put Joe. What are you doing?

Why is the thing you gave me a microphone? This is your fault. You dummy you gave me a microphone with riches on it You gave it to him with ridges. He tried to eat it It's got a rich nothing that's Cool Jack now you're too holy with you dress too good now I know cans and he doesn't have a rich mic Listen here's the deal then it's gonna go Joe then it's gonna go Dan and then it's gonna go moa Okay, I'll go last telly. She's on after um after scopo. Oh, oh shit You'll go on after Dan are you good? Look I'll put the mic up to you. Yeah, I'm fine. I would you put them after Dan. All right, how are you?

Dan's friends? They're your fans their dance fans They're dance I Hitting her for Dan. Here's the deal. I'm hosting no I'm hosting Can I put in my Hosting Lewis J go got it. I great first set coming out crack go go no Go Craig Craig

In the mic you're fucking raspy Special Lewis Crag Scopo Kelly me Listen to you Such a big world up there. I'd like to give it a try But then I think for it's here. I'm supposed to stay I can do this horrible Because I like it Lewis don't let him fuck me So big world up there. Tell me why does it have to be that way

So I think it's your girl Lewis hosting. Yes. Greg, yeah. Scopo, Kelly, me, List, you. No, no, no, no, no, they're dance fans. Joe, you, him. What the fuck am I gonna go at the end? Yeah, it's your show. It's your dance fans, though. I think it is, I think it is,

sends comedy wise, me, Joe Bobby. No, why? I'm gonna fuck you. Joe, what do you think? I think Dan is trying to be like, humble guy. No. I'm talking about fucking Joe. What do you think? I think Dan is trying to be like Humble Guy. No, I'm nervous. I think you fucking got those dumb credits, and now you have to answer for them.

OK, close the show. I love it. You got to close the show. I'm not close. He's closing the show. You should go after, but you got better credits than Dan. Dan, close the show. Tell his off.

Tell his off the show together. You're welcome, everybody. You're welcome everybody Talk Joe, let me hear you. I'm talking baby. Yeah, can you hear me? I got you Listen what? All right go manage to thank thank you for having us Jersey the Jersey City comedy festival Yep, and this is your second year second year hopefully you know, we do it well enough that we can have a third Yeah, all right well good man congratulations thanks for having us thanks for coming we're gonna keep this going while the shows what happened

yeah so whoever's on stage is just gonna leave okay come back I think you have Matt Matt sit down next to Chris Matt what's that stuff in that I love partner I know what's up guys out You know that's how about paying attention. Yeah, no the no cans is killing me I'm doing rock Trying to give a little a tip of the cap to Joe list to get shut down so for what? The show's still going on why you think Joe should headline yeah, you don't want to follow Joe I follow Joe

You don't want to follow Joe. I think Joseph tough follow I Am you he's finally he's finally peaking after fucking 20 years And everybody just loves you cuz you dumb face for some reason. Here's what I think. We're performing in a fucking barn. And then we're gonna eat the laughs, and we're all gonna bomb our toes off. No, no, no, no. You know how amazing that would be. Aircraft carrier.

If every, we're not, look, if every single one of us bombs tonight, oh, make me so happy. It's going very hard. When you hear that Russian joke six minutes in, you know, I'll take that for a second. I was talking to somebody, and they said, Dan Soto was here, and it was a really bad gig. I go, how long before he did the Russian? He goes around four minutes in I was talking to somebody and they said dance out it was here and it was a really bad gig I go how long before he did the Russian he goes around four minutes in

Yeah Just Don't fucking ball your fist If you want to be a real low, he is. Dude, what the fuck is wrong with my pyramid? Don't fucking ball your fist, that's me. Don't wipe it on me, bro. I'll you fledgefag it. That's what I like. That's what I like.

You fledgefag it. You fledgefag it. You took a load and stuck it in your, like, under your gum. I held it. I saved it for later. I coughed, I coughed. When he says, Dan's just leaving the show.

Where you going, Dan? He's so big, he just leaves when he wants. What's the show? You know what? Take his microphone. His microphone's about to go. Joe take Dan's microphone. Do I need a drink take that microphone? Yeah, take that You think this good microphone? What the hell? I didn't even mean to do that That's a punchline you dumb dumb

You're gonna be able to do a tag and a punch That's a punchline you dumb dumb You're gonna be able to do a tag and a punch It's a great microphone over there. You got you're a great microphone. So anyways, we're doing the show It's your birthday. It's I fucking this is crazy. I you know what I did all day What did you do? I fucking set up the backyard for a big barbecue in a few weeks We're gonna do a steak Chicken lamb tips Stake chicken lamb tips

At my house It's fucking happening Why don't you ever want my baby to come cuz your baby is like you You don't have to go fuck itself cuz it's a baby. You don't want No, take the cuteness attention away. No, first of all, yeah, she bring you baby up and you bring a girl up Of course you can bring them up. Absolutely. Why you call you she's coming up. Of course she's kidding I love it. I Kelly you can bring whatever guy you're fucking okay at the time. Yeah, then you can bring your girl Yeah, and Joe you can bring your girl. Yeah, she's in the final four Caroline's to know what is that explain Explain what that is. You're telling you. You've been doing it. It's a silly tournament like they have and like the real tournament,

but it's for comedy. Dan Soda won it last year or two years ago. Dan Soda won it two years ago. Mark Norman won it last year. Nakon and Moan last year. Who? Mark Norman. Is that the guy with the your podcast? Yeah, he's got a great podcast. You got to listen to what you call Tuesdays with stories. Tuesdays with stories. I can hilarious. It's 60 minutes. 60 was it. Six million now. Yeah, it's got a book deal How many million I don't know doesn't even matter bro? Hi, that's not what it's about right? How about that?

Joe lists use of bros money favorite things head phones. I'll tell you that I have headphones because I'm monitoring You want a monitor? I'd love to monitor. What are you kidding? I you're not getting headphones all right? It's not happened. What is this show? Are we recording this? Yes. Can I see the show? Can you say this every fucking podcast? Are we doing every fucking show? On the public. What is this show starting? It's like a 20 already. Yeah, let's can we get it going?

Yeah. Lewis, get on out of it. Let's go. Let's fuck it. Are there people here? Yeah. Are you guys waiting on us? Chris? Where the show? Yeah, let's start it. Lewis You go Lewis is going up first and he's gonna bring everybody up. So we're good to go Lewis. Yeah, listen You're up first. Okay, I'm going so fucking get everybody nice Are you doing a cute answer? I don't do that. What?

This is the show. It's my birth not changing it. What are you doing? I'm saying um get off you fucking Part of me believes what's Craig's last name? My job you're the host okay Craig your first what's what's your name last name Craig Mahoney what do you want me to say about you? That's what you found it you're the founder of this yeah pump the fuck this what you do I'm gonna explain it you pump the fuck out of him and then you pump the fuck out of the last button right you Pumped the fuck out of them. Okay, no, I'm telling you now Stage right now No Both the years

The fuck out of the festival you plug the fuck out of him when you bring him up you plug the fuck out of laugh button I'm gonna stop Fuck laughs been fuck no the syndicate to okay you put for putting this all together Dude I need to write that down. I need a pen and I do the right in my high It's a birthday. It's a lot of shit's happening to that microphone. This one's better No, that one stinks keep that one. Okay I finally realized what it is Bobby. What is it? It's like you run a foster home Yeah, I'm fish. Yeah, show fish. Yeah, and what no, but I don't remember that show

The beyond with Trey Astas Volta was on it. Oh, no, I don't remember that at all. Oh my god. You see a fish called Wanda. That's a good one. Kevin's not a good one. Kevin Clark's not a good one. That's not one.

But I would say that Louis is your favorite foster child? Yes. He's the most battered one. Yeah, he's the most battered one. He said something sad earlier when we were like, when you were like, you're like, you didn't even know what we have planned for you. And he goes, I'm not going to suck another tank. That's immediately weird what that's where he went this foster kid brain. No, you know what that means though is he wants

Did you get me a tranny? Yeah, cuz this is central Yeah, because you said looking you two fucking queens And sad because you said you had some plan for it and Kelly is your mic mom. Did you shut your mic off talking to Mike? I can't think of one duet right now hey don't go breaking my heart yeah I can't identify a track yeah some of these microphones stink that one stinks but it's okay we're good in the park

I think it was the fourth of July. Welcome everybody listening. That's in your head now. So anyways, yeah, we're here. I was barbecuing today. I made three hamburgers. Okay. Can you invite all meat? No carbs. I fucking love it. It's so dude. I have a shack with tools. That's scary. No, it's fucking awesome. It's organized it though It was I organized it less time. It's fuck yeah, it's organized the fuck now I got a grill with six burners. How many times did you breathe in and go? Fucking the best it's the dogs are out just go on came over the Lord

All right a little Italian Irish lady next door hey all right I'm fighting with them she invited my girlfriend's parents what what's that what's the time I say everybody does 10 right what is that add that up so 70 minutes what is Kelly gonna do when she runs out of material at seven you know what scope oh how much time can you do like you solid don't lie to me 15 solid 10 minutes how much can you do Teen Well What who do you love I love Joe list do you kiss him? No, come on get out of it. I like kissing. Hey, I happy birthday kid

Hey Lewis, why do you see when we got planned for you? Lewis you knew Lewis, we've decided your new birthday is gonna be April 17th What do we have plan for him? We have nothing Busy my birthday Sunday This is what his mom picked him every day. Is there cake? You guys just told her we need dessert We need dessert you guys just told me. We need dessert. We need dessert. You guys just told her we need to be a doctor.

Just get him a free beer. Just get him a free beer. What the hell are you doing? Dude, I am busy. I have a fucking child. Listen real quick, bitch. I just filmed the pilot. Yeah, we get it.

We saw the Lowe's jacket. We know you're on set recently. That's my jacket. Man, it's pretty flashy. That's my jacket. You basically just told Lewis he was being adopted. Like tomorrow your new parents are picking you up. And you're like, is he really done with these?

Wait, by the go-on, I won't say long tomorrow. I ain't fucking, no one's gonna show up. Film the pilot, what are you making a documentary about? Sully Sullinger? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, That'll be Joe list you can see him at a VFW and Massachusetts literally May 16th I do a lot of VFWs and I think it's commendable That's right of foreign war you would you guys would know if you weren't such a faggot We win wars. Yeah, I can combination you pie brown people So do you such a liberal fact dude, dude, you don't know I hate about you. That was a trick

That was a trick man. Oh man. I'm just trying to have a smoke you out. I'm getting my biggy pose on right now You're a hippie bag, bro. It's like my mom's a puffie suck More money more problems bro Something the cowardly lion are you high right now? Yeah I got a tape pen. Let me see I got cool. This is what about that. I just did the show with them the other night Boom, yeah, it's tobacco. This is yeah, but no, they have the fucking pen. They gave me no dude They gave me the vaporizer. Yeah, I know I don't like that shit. You don't like the big one I like this one. Let me see it. I mean you shouldn't be doing drugs. Is there weed in that? Yeah, what do you do? We don't have to do that. I'm sorry. I don't want you to pump your junk at me

The name of You jump Good podcast Who's What did I say? I remember't remember that what did I say? You do look like a DJ that would play a song called Pump Your Junk really? What the beat drop pump your Joe? You ever go to another country like a like a...

No. All right nice talk. I'm gonna talk to him. I'm gonna talk to him. I'm gonna talk to him. I'm gonna talk to him. We get it. Mm-hmm. Joe Hemingway traveling the world. Joe's traveled a lot. Yeah, yeah, it's gonna around the nine countries where bro Iraq Iraq wait Turkey Germany

Norway Peru Canada United States I've done two USOs and then I went to Norway the Oslo Comedy Festival I went to Peru for a girl who's moving back to New York which could complicate my relationship She's coming back. Yeah, dude. This is Rec record dog. Let's not talk about this. Yeah dog. Let's not have this. I like Joe being possessed by a bro. I like what's happening. I'm saying bro and dog. I hate the show stars. Oh Lewis is gonna eat his shit. You go out there and just tell us how it's going the first couple of minutes, right?

Yeah. Thank God. Can we do this every week? Chris, go check in the hallway, how he shows. Can I make a prediction? I don't want to put negative energy out there. I think this is going to be one of those shows where we're all like, oh, and then afterwards everyone's like, this, no, it's good. And you're like, what the fuck today? It's a fucking plain aircraft carrier out here.

It's like Sponultep. It's going to be brutal, yeah, exactly. I say it's going to be hard up front. And then you two are going to go off. Once we get to the real comics It's gonna be brutal. Yeah, exactly. I say it's gonna be hard up front and then You two are gonna get to the real comics and I'll get you guys gonna do well One of you better than the other because one of us fuck the other Shut up Absolutely Stop it would you make it him act like a clown

Such a jerk me. Yeah, you know, what if the guys? What if the guy from the festival? Listen cuz don't ever snort on my Listen cuz hey you two fucking college roommates Fucking it's my bro. What if what if the guy who runs the festival takes a hot one on our show? He probably will. That's right, because- 100% Are you kidding me?

Yeah. I think we just gonna take a hot one. He doesn't make me nervous. His school shooter sidekick that's been looming around. Well, the guy's gonna hand me the knife. That's a different guy. You know I'm telling this guy. Yeah, he looks like he's fucking Columbine in the corner.

The guy in the doorway right now. Oh, the Blonkey. Yeah. Oh man, he fucking Columbine in the corner guy in the doorway right now Oh And he's like five two and it's still really scared me. He's got psycho eyes Shut up He'll be out there for the whole show and I'll be like where'd you go? We told him to go check out the show. Oh, we're doing the podcast throughout the show. Yeah, we're just gonna keep doing it But I want to watch the show though. Do you go watch it? You can leave you can come back I don't want to watch Lewis, but yeah, when you want it when you want to go watch Kelly go ahead I'm gonna see you to the show. I don't give a fuck about what am I gonna see what you do your act that you did on

Access TV. I saw it. It was amazing. I got new stuff. What do you got? I don't like the new You're fake dog. I don't like it. I'm bringing it. I'm gonna go all in with you Dog, I'm gonna water bubble. Hey dog. What are you doing? You got a big piece. Don't you Joe? Here we go. It's not big. What's happening for stook is back? I mean There we go. It's not big. What's happening for stucous back? I mean Scopeo that's even worse, buddy. Oh, it's good. It's actually they have a good set of going down there Loose is doing all right. Is he doing good with it? Yeah, he's you know, he's messing with the crowd a little bit Right. It's actually a nice setup where they got it going really yeah. I like it a lot actually is he is he getting laughs? Yeah, okay

So you're up all right, you're gonna open the window there you go that window doesn't open that's just oh so he's doing good yeah he's doing good yeah he can be all right let me let me see like I would say a quarter in come on in a quarter of the crowds ykw defense is a mathi calendar come over sit down grab a microphone you this you know what do podcast live grab that microphone There's some fans there's you Bobby grab this so yeah, it's some fans. Yeah about a quarter of the what's your name? Matt Kelly actually Matt Kelly. Okay, great actually my Matt Kelly Robert Kelly you both my father's name is Robert Kelly holy shit Chris come see grab a microphone Chris

What what's um, so you started the microphone? I mean the festival with him. Yes. Yeah, okay, and why? He thought Jersey City needed a comedy festival. We were out drinking Be kept the idea the next morning even though we came up with it drunk So you started as it bad? Grab a mic move on pack the grab the silver yeah they're just being quiet sit down sit down what's happening

oh let's just say Lou is let's just say Lou is jump right into the visor bit he did he just didn't even fucking yeah is this let me ask you question this is your first time at this venue yes so so so so thank you you're gonna him also what's the deal is this is this gonna be bad of these shows good or the bad

well last night show went pretty well but that was at a different spot it was at a comedy club uh... well it's a satellite spot that we opened up a little more edgy little cooler yeah low ceilings low ceilings yeah the walls looked terrible why are we there uh... because we thought that this was a bigger cooler venue Yeah, low ceilings low ceilings. Yeah, the walls look terrible. Yeah, why are we there? Because we thought that this was a bigger cooler venue. I feel like a foreman up in this office This is This is actually This is also the biggest venue. This is the biggest venue. Did you sell it out? As we were close this morning, but I don't know for sure. I did not have the opportunity to check this I got to go up last

Hmm you guys all suck. Why I was gonna host. I'm a much better host You could host it. I would have peppy them up. I would have been cordial I would have gotten going and then but you you fucked me. You're the one who said don't You said Lewis host Pick up another microphone that one stinks I'm merely suggested there give that one. Let me talk it talk it on that one. Oh, hey kill it. Let me see Okay, I'm talking right Lewis. By the way, I was just joking Lewis was actually doing okay Got you all right cool In my and my first or is Craig first Craig's first then we get to the show. I didn't know I didn't know the lineup

We did 14 different line-ups Is this your first time working with these people first time officially? Yeah Chris Yes, hello from the syndicate. Yes president CEO. Yes,, yes, okay, and this your first time here too, right? Yeah, I will Why it that came out I came last year saw Sundance over last year really great time go through the school That was our house. That's a weird venue really yeah school Yeah, you go all the way to the top four Yeah, he's got a big laugh But that was fun. Yeah, he's gonna that's good. We're gonna

No, this is the right this show is gonna rally. Yeah, yeah, it's show is gonna rally Yeah, absolutely just do what you got to do we're 80 seconds in we're like we'll figure that Right now we're a shitter. How do we do a hell gig with our own podcast with this should be our show Did we can't bomb on a show with fans? That's where it happens. No, it doesn't. I think so. I think so too. I think so too. Cause they know your shit. They've already looked up all of our business. Not that much. So I gotta go a little more. I gotta do my business right here. Right there. My lip touches this thing. I'm gonna boil them. Why? I don't know. I think you're right, Joe. I think you they gonna boil them why I don't know

I think you're right Joe I think you they coming with loaded X-Tex He didn't even let me say my piece cuz I listen to you unlike Robert. I appreciate it. It's a real jerk face Hey, you are a jerk face. He's talking about you Bobby. Oh, he's talking about your tone You know what you got dull that grill smoke in your ears It's not a thing. What? I don't know. Anyways, so this is your second year. And are you, are you, are you,

is it bigger this year? I'll, yeah. I didn't sound too good. Well, I mean, it is in the idea that we're doing. Give him that microphone. We're only doing a, like, a satellite thing. Yeah, give him that. So that, it's bigger in our commitment to it, I guess, you could say.

Really? Because we rented our own space You know, it's kind of on us now, right? What do you plan on doing with this becoming a mogul? We just want to do it. Oh, it's become a mogul. Are you trying to what what is the motivation to? To to to what do you want to do with this festival? It's to have itself sustaining and if we can make a little bit of money off of it That's right. So you want to make a little cash and you want to make it big Yeah, so that people will come from all over to do everywhere the Jersey City

Comedy Festival. Yes, you know they can't even do that with people moving here Do you understand yeah? You want to make the best of a big I think you guys changed to a boat theme Oh because a lot of nice house boat out there good a through party on it. Hey, do you have any swag? We can go we have two shirts you guys are gonna get your t-shirts somewhere Yeah, Kelly's gonna go on eat Festivals legit when they got swag guaranteed my t-shirt doesn't fit guaranteed I'm looking at you and I'm a little nervous. Oh, it's not waiting. I don't know how deep the box

Any time somebody says swag on a t-shirt. I did the nasty show the first time. No, yeah, it's not sitting I don't know how deep the box. Any time somebody says swag on a t-shirt I did the nasty show the first time. No, yeah, it was amazing a Tell the Apollo CK John Joe John Joseph John Joseph no no Joseph John no John John Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey John John L.A. John jet no Jimmy John Jimmy John show on fx Jim Jeffrey

ECB a brain for easy it's a Australian they came up they came up with only good one It's a Australian. They came up they came up with only good one fucking polo shirts black polo shirts with the JFL logo What that I found out was a fucking company shirt that they had What mine was a fucking large dude that's the most This most disrespectful thing. Let me tell you something man. Yeah, it is it is I think Louis Dodge What's happening? I better go out there and see what the hell is happening? He doesn't say anything like three minutes. We need somebody out there Kelly. He said it's a car And then everyone who sits it. Oh my god. What the fuck? And then everyone said sit oh my god, what the fuck Bobby people are walking out

Hey, you know he's bombing what's what is he saying? He's good last I heard that I hit less. Oh my god. What's going on? What's going on the fatter but he wasn't using it bro like in the way you use it? How much time is he doing then we tell him? Is anyone get anyone lighting? We need to light him do it. Did we tell him? Anyone get anyone lighting him? We need to light him. Well, Kelly, you're lighting people. I've just realized that Lewis's act always sounds like a dispute. I need you to tell him. Yeah, but you're awful. Senators gut. That couple be off the streets of no time. You're a you're a you're a you have what's with the hair patch? Look at the hair patch right there. No hair. It's a hair of eight years Senators gut. Yeah, you're you're it's an it's an eight you have wait what's with the hair patch look at the hair patch right there No hair is it the hair of eight years senators gut. Yeah, you you what happens? You doing all right?

Tell me how would you describe this what? Yeah, boy get in there deep I think Lewis is really great, but it's vine you at the ceiling is so high the laughter is escaping very quickly Yeah, I know I'm going on I show up at a club and it's not so bad. It's because there's something going on in town And the weather is weird. No, there's a lot of people come out on fucking Saturday night Becale is Kale's totally the local news reporter that you go to we're like we've got Kelly for stew Get on the highway. It's done. Stan is a lot of blood people. It did big to you Robert. Shit's fucked up. Louis is here.

Is he bombing this? See the. Oh, he the the last dog because of the joke steak. Well, it's with the show with King Kong. What is that? Yeah, he opened with his big one, right? No, he's King Kong. He's a giant ape. Yeah, you I was your suggestion I said Bobby should do it

Because it's something a back of the Of the fucking show I don't understand though. Here's the big rat why is she a suck up for for a green Because it's you Bobby you're the fucking headliner Bink rat why is she a suck up for for a green was it you? Bobby you're the fucking you headliner I got the other way round you're the house of the fucking podcast You know what? Yes, yeah, cuz he doesn't he's not good at comedy you're really good at calm Yeah, but I was gonna host get him all into it and then I guess I was gonna host Yeah, I'm all it's Jewish way of So I'm 40 it's okay. I was gonna host and I was gonna bring everybody into it

And then I was gonna get the show going and then and then we do a little Hold on to give us an update on the turf. We've got Phil Loker, Joe. Yes The barn it's pretty good. I think he may have smoked too much metal Pacing a little off. There's a lot of pauses. He's like this TV. It just goes out for a moment and then comes back in. But it seems like it's going. All right, who's up first?

Oh, Craig. Craig. Cree. Cree. Cree. And now has anybody seen Craig? Yes. And is stopped.

Is he, don't lie, I know you're corporate. I know you're corporate. I know your corporate Chris Now is he good? Yeah, okay So he's gonna do good. Yeah, he just gave you a first he just gave you a first 48 were you at the crime scene? Come here were you at the crime scene? No, man We're gonna put you away for long to you at the crime scene? No man, we're gonna put you away for long to, I was at the crime scene. I don't feel, I just feel like kill.

Is he? Do you know? Why? Why are you shaking your head down? Why are you shaking your head down? I got the tick man, I'm nervous. I got excited, you know that. This is fucked up man.

I like this. I would've done a different order. What was your order? I would've had you host. I should've hosted. I would've been really great. That would've been great. Because I would have done a different order. What was your I would have you host? I should have hosted. I would have been really great because I would have got people into it I'm more likable than Lewis For sure All right, start over the words I don't have a walk out. I would have had you everyone

Yes, then I would have had like a maybe maybe maybe maybe scope. Oh, I guess I want to put I want to him to go first Because he he'd get him into it. He just brought up Craig Craig. I want him in I'm gonna do some field reporting I would have Kelly come on Yeah, then me yeah, then then Lewis. Oh, then Craig then him. Oh no, then him then Craig Because I always like to put the the links like a strong link a weak link a strong link a wink. The chain. Yeah, and I go all up, baby. So if you're up before me and that means, but let's let's put Craig up in between us because if you're doing good, he can ride that wave. And if he doesn't, I'll pick it up at the end. It sounds to me like you like you just

talking about the past because Deja vu really yeah, this good looking in your deja vu you aren't in it You're a Time either he could be I go go do some field report. I know what you're doing list Joe list. What's he doing? It's going to watch in your deja vu did you realize you spit on the wall of there? Yeah, yeah, I spit on that Okay, so it was after the spit Oh, hold on. It was a shit take. So it's totally legit. I didn't just spit on the wall like a fucking Lewis just gave a real ass intro. What was it? I thought that was quite the whole time by the way. I know I thought I he was getting a plot

What was he doing with the oh you saying give it up to things. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah That's why he was giving the balls breaks. That's the worst If I was hosting and I was bombing up front believe me I would have fucking skipped right into the show brought people right up I Have a feeling like I'm gonna take a hot one. Huh? No, you're not No, you're not you're not gonna take a hot one. You're gonna do good. The show's gonna build dude You can't listen on a show like this. It's not there's no industry here

It's not gonna do anything for your career. Oh, I know, but I'm just this, it's not, there's no industry here. It's not gonna do anything for your career. Oh, I know, but I'm just having fun. With my friends. Who? That's more nerve-racking. Who's your friends? I don't wanna.

Joe List, you. I don't wanna think of it. I don't wanna bomb at all. I'd be really nervous. If you bomb, it would make me so happy. If Kelly kills and Scopo bombs, there would be nothing happier in my life. It's part of me that really wants Kelly to kill.

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He's the Mike give him the great give this the other Mike the good No, the other Mike the other Mike Go to microphone. I got the golden my fresh drink. He's looking sharp. It's his birthday. You see talking to the other microphone Yeah, I got the silver microphone. What how was it? It was good. I mean, it's like I think the high ceiling grab that microphone I got the silver microphone Fuckin we need new microphones mother fucker. Can I have one of yours? No, you can't have any of these Let's like get new ones if you get new ones. I'll say no one's I'll say you two tomorrow. What silver ones? Yeah, oh, yeah Okay, so yeah, they were good. I think this guy Craig Mahoney's gonna suck it up

What how do you see the owner? Joking the beat writers bashing on the talent. How did you do though? We were in here in too many laughs No, they weren't great. We heard a lot of clapp it up We clapp it up Then we heard you go right into a bit no you like I didn't do any crowd work up top because we're all from here They're not like I'm not gonna like what what does that mean? I interspersed crowd work with jokes. I'm a professional host I'm really good at host you got too high. No, I didn't yeah you just we there was I've literally been We had field reporters fucking fat stuka

You know Fat Stuka no you know the feeling feel right in the group is Fat Stuka list was coming back to he's out there right now feel we were all Terrified that fit's to go is gonna rat us out because we smoked weed for no reason You smoke weed in the place. Yeah in the studio you smoked weed in the studio It was Dan's idea you didn't smoke weed in the studio. No, we would never smoke weed in the studio Because you know you'd find on Monday a new law No, we would never smoke weed in this studio because you know what you'd find on Monday a new law What This fucking stupid

Fucking Fucking idiot He really is he's a god damn Abomination he really is you know what he is what he lives his life like he works in a carnival He's gonna go to a different town the next day and smoke a math and set up the Ferris will he's what's trying to work my way up to the Dan what was that movie with The motorcycle guy and he's a carnival guy. He's in brightest motorcycle. Oh, you're talking about Place beyond the pine. Yeah, it was better I know the reference stuff if you don't know the reference.

It was in better if I find this thing. That's what you're doing your head as a comic. Just do a bit. Couldn't get the fucking name. Yeah, thanks for talking. Oh, the brother, he doesn't have a funny dance owner in his head. He's just got a shitty, screw scub, but what is that? No, he's like,

I'm broke. He's shut up. Put on some music and dance. What's that movie with Sean Penn and he was a stoner Mystic river fast times. That's what was his name in that That's who that's like who he is. That's who you are. Yeah, you know who you are. You're like that guy Did you guys ever see? Oh

Lula says Called whiskey and cigarettes yeah, I'm Denver yeah great guys and I compared us to death row reggae and cigarettes and you were Shug night Joe list was two-pock. I'm Snoop Dogg and your dr. Dre. Yeah, I like that I see I should be dr. Dre. I like them why is he I should be dr. Joe you're too fat and you're older hey what did my birthday it's my birthday it's my birthday it's my birthday is it's gone good people laugh how is Craig doing dude you're lying I'm listening to a laugh listen. You're trying to book a lecture festival I had to because my thing man. I have an addiction and I hate myself I did this niggas bar. Did you really just go intervention on you? Yeah, you're like wait you fucking smoke a cigarette

It's such a throwaway question. He's like well, Bobby when I was young I knew I like things there a bed for me so I started smoking and I knew I couldn't quit it It floored at me, bobby it grabbed at me like a koala on a tree I couldn't rip it off bobby dragging me down into the darkness bobby I'm so sad don't be mad at me bobby fucking god damn for stucco yesterday yes sir fucking Broadway attitude she always talks like a Broadway character You're not gonna be me. Oh, you're probably gonna get any he went Kelly's talking like she's always about to go into a song

She's like I used to be different I'm gonna go field report. Let me go field a problem next anyway. So let me go field report. Yeah, but you're not none of you guys are gonna be honest. I'm gonna be a real asshole. You'll be honest. I got no fear. You're damn so does bigger than the Jersey City Comedy Festival. So he can never figure that a comedy festival festival but this Saturday Dan Soder it's gonna be bigger than comedy on state Madison was How long do you have been there before? No do this club. It's during the final four though. It doesn't man

You're gonna have a fucking blast I'm excited comedy on state was one of my thing though You walk the co-tell's awesome You can walk right to the gig. There's a million places to fucking eat a lot of bars great bars Hot chicks and the family that owns it is fucking phenomenal Okay, and the two girls are the smoking the two daughters Yeah, I am bringing my Xbox Dude, I don't bring your Xbox you rent a bike Madison's a fucking one of the top five cities top ten cities Don't bring your action, but don't be a queer I'm right the bike, but so it's awesome the campus is awesome People it'll be a lecture. It's probably gay people. I didn't mean I love gay people. Yeah, that's not that clear What do you mean? I don't know that means though some loan dude on a bike by himself that type of like but what I mean

Queers like kind of a negative thing against like gaze. By the way, we found out Lewis yesterday in the park Yes, we found out Lewis is a hard liner. Queer is not against gaze Queer is queer. Lewis, should you get ready to get this? Yeah, by the way I'm a honey's been on stage for 84 minutes. Lewis is up here, but it feels like a hundred light or who light him now And who's lighting you're lighting or she's lighting. Oh you like you like All right cool two minutes. I'll be down. All right cool man. I'm doing great by the way. Yeah, he's doing great He's doing better than you I told you you didn't believe me. He's killing I didn't say he's not doing better than that's good. He is doing better than you. He's probably doing better than me. What's that?

He is doing better than you. He's probably doing better than me. What's that? How is he doing microphone to him? How's he doing? Is he doing good? No, he's not doing good. He's doing bad. Doing better than you we said you suck too. You just suck work. I hope you break your knee again On the way to the stage. You know what? It's on your birthday. It's my birthday. You know what? I get to say whatever I want. This bitch Lewis needs a sash Oh, that was good. That was so good. Go sit there scopa Oh, did you got right on that thymine I heard that slap I want Lewis to fall down the stairs so bad

I heard a slap I want Lewis to fall down the stairs so bad I heard a fat tumble This is just what are you what's wrong? Her face is half on Chris. She's right my face is like yeah There's a regular face is just cuz you're stone I'm not stone I you accept that's the same thing. I'm excited to be part of the festival? I am, so excited to be here. Yeah, yeah. Oh, your friends. Absolutely.

Always invite your friends. And your offices are right down the street. Yeah, we're like mile away. I'm starving. Me too. Yeah. Is there any food? It's food, but it's pricey.

Oh, you had to pay for it? I don't know. Maybe not. We know it's fucking affordable. We need you talk to the guy who's on stage Craig I kind of like my honey like police academy my honey right? It's a little bit better of a nickname right can I be the white Michael Winslow? That's That's dope that's gonna be my rat

That's gonna be my new rat moniker Yeah, the Jetson noise love it. I love it. That's not that's the car my egg game. Yeah It's great. I'm gonna pull up to the house. I do a good James Brown to a good James Brown That wasn't that good look at me no One more. Hey, that wasn't that good look at me in the Do it on hey one more. Hey there you go closer Hey James Brown just got in the space car Did you see that movie that's coming out about him looks awesome James Brown. Yeah, what's it called get on up? Get on up. Is it a documentary? It's a movie like they did without Ray with but who's playing them? I got to play Jackie Robinson in 42 really he's playing two people

Yeah, he talks in the in the preview he talks like James Brown. I don't like that though. I don't like it either You know, they may you should only get to do one one famous blackout. It's too bad Philips him will happen That he would have knocked it out of the park. They can do great things would make up Are we gonna switch like a tropic thunder? You can do great things with makeup. All right, we got to switch. Like a tropic thunder? I hear it. Crakes off.

I want to watch Scopo. Scopo's a little bit more important. Right now, Ray. I'm just reporting. Ray's your hands. Who's is Scopo going to bomb? Ray's your hands. No, I don't think I think I've got to.

I don't think he's going to bomb. All right. You don't think so? We got three people that said he's not going to bomb. Yeah, I'm saying he's going to eat his fucking asshole with a spoon. That's a big asshole to eat Is this asshole big?

I think he's gonna be a big ol beefy bun hole. I think he's gonna rush his fat ass joke I think he's gonna get nervous with that. That's his Russian and then he's gonna God your stupid saggy tits joke Stupid saggy tits joke I don't know how to say it You're like, they're just getting wrong It's awfully quiet Hey guys, it's still in there It's like he's a approach shot

I'm going out I always get to feel reported What? Hey dude, see what happens with Joe? You can't just leave him with fucking scum balls That's Joe That's Joe for you right there Oh, come on What is that? That's Joe that Joe Joe for you right there Oh Joe I feel his sad face when I was when I was I know I

Did I looked forward and tried to act like a statue? Why because when I didn't grow up with a male authority figure, so when one yells, I shell up immediately. You really were like, get in there. I'm like, that's the dad in the room. Don't look, dad in the room is mad. It was pretty intense. Here's the part that got him, though.

I didn't know. He said something like that at the end, I go, I don't give a fuck what you think is when he went Oh shit, he doesn't care at all and then he Little eyes went forward and his little nose went down No, it's a stir by the way. Oh makes me happy. That's how funny it was good I got you to there's a clean you you had me going there's something a little nervous about that There's something about being from Boston that I always see you guys get this gleam in

your eye that no other people from no other cities get. I was like this is some real shit like list like I watched the look come out or he's like how fuck you with your fucking dumb coat you fucking now she's being a fucking dumb and then it's like he goes yeah and he's like hey you you be fucking and then it's like this like look where you say you be fucking serious and it's like guys know No, daddy's don't punch each other. How was it Craig? I was a Craig Louis pull up the mic I was just asking if anyone needed anything a crack the great Crags eating a dick right now. I mean a scope oh yeah, no

So I'm gonna go back to eating a dick right now. I mean uh, Skopo. Yeah, no, I Loose hold it down. I got a field report. Hold it down. All right, all right, all right. Let me ask a question. Go. A few of us have been wondering about the food Situation because we haven't had dinner. We're hungry. Yeah, I ordered Give us some shit. Yeah, I mean, Whatever happens. We're working on that. Yeah, I ordered a give us some shit. Yeah, I mean whatever happens

We have to do this on Mike We are in a restaurant they will definitely yeah, but make sure you order now because the kitchen closes I ordered a lobster biscuit and one and a half ago I'm running on line of money to order like something Yeah, I want to order something they fucking made sure I would make sure I get spent they made Joe list the fucking pizza In the amount of time I could've gotten 15 fucking soups, okay 15 soups I'm blaming Craig here man. Craig this old. I did not know if you had told me about the best you would be you would have enjoyed a Bisc by now. I was unaware of it. Can you make my best? I will be sure you get a bit of You're really gonna fucking go over your nine minutes set. Yeah, is that my best? All right, so the send to get what you name again dude Chris Chris from the send to get here I'm sorry. We've only met one

I better not you met one other time. Yeah, that's it. I've one of the podcasts a couple of times We fucking miss dance or they get over here, dude. I'm holding it down. I hate Take the microphone. I'm gonna get Lewis's bisque. Oh Can you give me a coke? Thanks. Can you give me some coke? Jesus why on record down on yeah, whatever fancy restaurant if Lewis was in a band and they had a hit yeah Lewis would have become the biggest dickhead. Give her what you're Yeah, that's what we have with Dr. Drew. No, I don't that's I don't know you're the drama from let From what from

Say the fucking joke or the drama that always dies too early because you've got too Cucked up and drowned in the pool. Steven Adler. Yeah, he's not dead. Is he dead? Well, you should be. Let me explain So Lewis, let me explain something if you're looking over there for funny Yeah, get a find Funny you're gonna get a certain brand some call it guy code But I actually like that guy court Dan more than guy coach you know That's my running joke and my girlfriend right? Whenever we hear you better hurry horn honk. He's on guy code. That's Dan Soda from MTV 2's guy court

Bob house Chris scop I don't know from MTV 2's guy court. Oh, good. I love it. Oh, I mean, that's crystalline. The girlfriend's pretty funny. Good. Bob, how's Chris Scupper doing, bro? Look at me in the fucking face, bro. Everything's good. Bobby, with your, with your, with that, by Joe, and with this, and then he went into this, I'm not going to.

Oh, can I say, huh? Can I say some? Bobby, this time I know you're lying, okay? Listen. He's killing him. Bobby. Oh, Bobby, you just shut up, though. Let me say, Bobby, with your sleeves rolled up.

Let me tell you why I know you lying. You're going to be a successful chef. Shut Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby,

Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby,, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, We should just do a podcast get out of love to do we should try to do one next week just me you and list That'd be a fucking blast like the fans that just heard that all got boners. They really did It's always gonna be out of town. We'll just talk shit. We'll tell some stories I already got an episode title. What is it called the dead weight? Real ass dude

Whole milk Grady or milk a stupid is gonna listen to this If you're gonna go who's gonna happen to I say oh so sorry dude I say I say the skin actually joking around so for sure goes back to fuck me dude I don't know what am I are we still on yeah, we're good on my headphones just came out Where's my headphones at man? Why are my headphones out keep on talking? I just like watching you freak out because you know if you broke it Bobby's gonna kill you

I don't know it only one of the years came in man. I don't know why oh, thanks Where's my best thanks Craig dude one of the years went out I don't know what happened one of the years when I don't kill me nothing nothing I just one of the years went out I don't know why I don't know why it was plugged in I don't know I sit here the headphones went out altogether and now I pulled it out a little bit and one of the ears are on now. But now, none of the ears are on. There's no ears.

I don't know anything. We were just sitting here talking about the idea of the podcast next week. Can you hear me? It's here, stupid. What do you mean? It's a plug here. It's just unplugged. Okay. You just I didn't tell you how much fun I had watching Lewis come completely unraveled and loses so we so next week when you're gone Yes, I want to plug something real list mean Lewis. Okay, Joe list you just do three. Yeah, no one else

Nobody else who's gonna do that? Lewis is gonna record it Okay, why KWD show? Yeah No one else nobody else who's gonna do that? Lewis is gonna record it Okay, why KWD show? We call it we call it we call it cut in the fat But I'm I'm the fat no you're not you're the leader But what the fuck is that? I'm do come a shug night again. I'm fucking I'm Dr. Dre I'm okay. I'm Dre. Okay. I'm not shug night Shug night never fucking produce anything All right, muscle people and stole shit. Yes, yes, yes

Yes, I didn't see that I'm a hard worker. Can I still be snoop? Yeah, you can be snoop, but I'm fucking I'm Dr. I'm dry I'm dry I've been in the game for a while Spent the truth I hope I hope Kelly's easy and dies of a I hope Kelly's easy and dies of AIDS Listen here's a way I will let you guys do that next week Oh, but it might be a Thursday show All right, cuz you guys get high first of all and you get off fucking kilter. We drop it You forget that you guys suck without a rudder you know that right? Yeah, but I can be a good rudder. I was a good rudder yesterday. Yeah

Yeah, all right, I was good runner. I was a good runner yesterday. Yeah. Yeah. All right. I was like Alan Irerson playing Point Guard. I got to tell him I'd stop item all. So yeah, I know. Yeah, so they got the new show coming out. I want to plug that. It's on Comedy Central.

It's going to be awesome. Do you know what day it's on? Can you Google that? Which one? David tells new show. It's coming from the under show. The show show's coming out tonight. Tonight.

Which is that Tuesday night night to 10 30. So I clipped with you on there. Were you guys hanging out doing like a panel at a bar? Yeah, I don't think I came off good, dude. I was a weird thing. She's great for putting me on, but I was it was a weird thing. I don't know where my head was in a weird space. I get I get uncomfortable with all those comedy central people.

Because they add all the people in the background, when you usually go to a set, people are really nice and they make you feel comfortable, so it takes sometimes comedy central things. They just, not that it might be in my own head, but they treat you like, they don't talk to you, say, high or, you know, it feels like you're... You like get it? I'm like fucked up. I think

you've been on way more many sets than I have so I don't really know. No, it was weird. That day was weird but it was fun. I tell shows called from the underground or it was something on something underground. It was fun though. It was very fun. Yeah, very fun. Show's hilarious. She's got she's got GMati on it this year already laying. Yeah, she got a lot of great guests. Dan Soder Dan so she put you but here's what she does though. This way she puts everybody. Yeah, it's awesome. That's a fucking that's a And she and she's fucking great. She's great and she's hilarious. She really is and the show I'm not even telling I heard a kill on fucking stirring tonight. Oh, yeah I didn't know she was on stirring. Yeah, she killed it.

She was murdering on Ellen to the point where you're like, Jesus. Yeah, she's great, man. She's turning that corner, she's fucking. She's, but she's a hard worker, man. I remember when I was in Vegas, I was doing whatever show, and she was doing her show down at the RIV,

and then she had to do some roast thing, and she was getting together during the day with other comics that were in the town that day Yeah, you know and getting at it till dying at a right It's like who the fuck we never do that shit. We just hang out. Yeah, we do podcasts You know I mean, but whatever but she puts it's like I was talking to Becky on about this It's always like sometimes people shit on like why did they get that why they get that's like because they made something Yeah, they went out and fucking made

something yeah and then are you drinking the whole bottle of water you have a good set and this is what you do scopo has a good set and he's drinking a whole stay focused in your high here not hiding what were you saying plus it's the vape and I don't really just got but I'm saying people shit on when they're like oh why did they get that Schumer went out and made. She worked on it. Like she made a show. Oh, man. And and the towel, too, this show that's coming.

Did you get the info? You kidding me? David Tell Comedy Central. Do that. Just do it. Craig. Craig just do it. Do 2014.

Put that by the end of it. I'll teach you out at Google But it's just stucas on right now. Yeah, I just heard that okay. We need to feel reporting. No, no, I need you Okay, you know, Paul show listening to come back in his deal. He's done too much field reporting I will let you do that show, but uh make sure you plug Dave show and Amy show. Oh, absolutely in the first day Yes, yeah, of course, right? Uh, davis davitt tells new. You know when Dave shows coming out, which I was on to by the series comedy underground. Yes. Yes.

Series underground. It's television sets on Saturday, 9 April 12. Saturday night, 9 AM, 1 AM. Fuck. It's uncensored. Uncensored comedy. Yeah. Okay, they shot at the village underground. David Tell, I was on with Louis Katz. Awesome. And so they did a bunch of shows, a bunch of people. Big J was on it. Yeah. Kurt was on it.

Becky owned murdered. Vecchio murdered. He actually murdered a person. Yeah, he's got a lot of them. I did mediocre on it, which is gonna fucking suck. No. I did mediocre, dude. Don't tell me. I didn't mediocre suck. No, I did mediocre dude, don't tell me. I did mediocre.

I fuck, I did, came out of my mouth. What was it? I didn't want to give him any new shit. I gave him an old set from my CD that I never did on TV. That was dirty. And I didn't do it in so long, but I did it now. It was just, and you know what? It's such a weird, those fucking, I don't know dude. It was just weird. I and you know what it's such a weird those fucking

i don't know dude it was just weird i get my head about that shit you know they mean yeah i get my head about that i don't think people realize that tv sets are so insanely different yeah from other sets with the feeling tell me the crowd though the crowd is and less it's a special access live i thought was a unbelievable fun there's something about that show where they have pumped up ready to go and they were

great half hour they were awesome yeah but Dave shows gonna be fucking hilarious because everybody did great let me put it that way I'm not everybody pretty much knocked it out of the park I mean I personally didn't fucking like my set that much but whatever I thought the show idea concept, you know just be able to do whatever you want, you can swear dirty, didn't matter, finally Comedy Central stepped into that fucking arena. Yeah. Finally. And David tells the perfect guy to do that. And the show is gonna be great. And I they filmed for a whole week here in New York and I would pop in To watch yeah, and I think what the show really does is it shows how fucking brilliant David tell us yeah

Cuz he was interacting with celebrities interacting with other comedians. He was so funny. I think he's a heck So anyways we get it. Yeah, we're taking the other side They're not really oh my god. I got a silver port. You stay here with the. I, I, I, I, I, I, babysit the dog. It's just me and Lewis now. Just the why not, dude? You want to do a one-on-one where we talk about real shit? And then you can be shit anymore. I don't want to do that anymore. Why? Because I don't, I don't want to do a one-on-one, I have no interest in one-on-ones, but you anymore. We did a

good one in the hotel. Yeah, I've never put it out. I'll never put it out. Why? Because you just, because you kept being an idiot. No, I love it. No, it was good. Absolutely. I kept yelling at you. I don't want to put shit out with me yelling at you. Because you you you you're bucking the system. I'll be get something you teeth. You get it through. Yeah, up on the top. Do you have fun doing the show? How is she doing? How's it going? Chris, how is she doing? Yeah, what do you think? Listen, listen silence open the door open the door Dan Scopo

Get in here feel report feel report. I need a feel report sit down. What's happening with her? She's doing well Well, I've never heard you use the word well It's a comedy show not an act of night No, it's not a workshop What the fuck is going on? This mic is that one the laughter's going, but it's dying quick Is that one the laughter's going but it's dying quick I remember it stayed left Shit as long as she doesn't do that shit choke that she has I think it's gonna be good. What's the shit joke? I just not even good spill the beef. I like this

It's a pocket biggie of open mic. Have you been sitting on your hands every summer since you were a kid? Why they so pale I was like really the fat. I was like why? I don't know, he got fucking I was like ready to the fat. I was like why? I don't know. He's fucking bad. I got a Hollywood over here. I know. I know. I'm a picture of trying to move the fucking podcast. Hey man. Jackals were fucking jackals. Jesus Christ. I mean, Joe, listen to that. I've been waiting for a lobster best for I know. I know. I love that lobster. Basically why I love that is mood swing because of his fun he's hunger pains

Yeah, he's like a he really is what? ENG hunger pain. Did you know that yeah? I didn't know I fasted for 24 hours It's a hunger pain. I just I just felt bad that I said pain What's pain mean? How do you know pain? I think that's bullshit? I fasted for 24 hours and I looked it up Everything it said you're gonna get hunger pang Hunger pang hunger pang and then I didn't look up Yeah, yeah, gee look it up right now. He just Instagram. I did up Anyway, you do it on Instagram. Pay my prediction

Hunger pang I'm gonna bring you hunger pang Get you bell boy my prediction Hey woman hey woman hey lady. I'm so hungry right now. I thought we were gonna show up. There's gonna be snacks I thought I was gonna be like I like soda water. There's no soda water You know I have a soda water my fridge. I know. I'm excited come over I see that's my new thing is how far I'm out of the business. I was like oh my god. They have a green room I'm cutting to Joe with a field report of hunger pains in the abdominal region Which occur in the early stages of hunger or fasting are?

I didn't are correlated with contractions Panks hunger contractions start to occur in the stomach. I didn't click on an article I don't know I want to go get high. What's up buddy? Dude you don't bring me a lobster bisque. I'm gonna kill myself Is there a no they're bringing snacks right no dude my bisque was ordered now and a half ago And I'm fucking I'm a little hungry now you can't like 630 you ordered it. Dude. I ordered so long. That's crazy You bitch good luck Joe. We love you. Joe. I'm a little bit landed Joe have fun buddy Yeah, Joe's gonna murder yeah following all this horse should be easy

Yeah, along with your torso. Yeah we're your half your Louis running a set Air gel and what you hosting us an old list. Why is your mic not working because I switch it up double dick in the Getting off her yeah, well, she they're not good enough. She's good right did she don't know how she do She did good, right? Did she? How'd she do? She did, I find. She did pretty good. She did good. How did I do? I couldn't tell how I did.

You did good. We thought you were bombing because you went into the fat joke right away, the fat ass joke. That's what I usually open with. Is it really? Yeah. Oh, God. I should save it.

How about this? How about if I'm the only one that takes a hot one? Oh, man, dude, I'm so crazy. I almost took a hot one the night. You were, it was the guy who threw you off right in the beginning, that's all. But you recovered fast. We, we, we do the show for Plume, right?

And I'm, Wednesday, gosh. So I'm, I'm literally, I'm fucking exhausted. I've been waking up at four, going all day, going home, sleeping a few hours, waking up to the same thing over and over, which I'm not used to. Plus, you know, having a house, having a kid,

it's just a weird, fucking whole new life that you can never go back, which I'm not used to. Plus, you know, having a house, having a kid, it's just a weird fucking whole new life that you can never go back to that I'm just, you just go, right? I'm literally 9.30 A.W. went to bed last night. Nonstop. It's fucking nuts. So, I go and do the show after shooting all day. I'm exhausted.

I gotta follow Big J. Who else? Pete Davidson. Pete Davidson. Jesse Joyce. A killer. It's all killers right and is that Bisc? Yeah, he doesn't want it stop. No, I'm kidding. Can you please hide it behind the door though? Just push it be push it way over in the corner Yeah, so he doesn't see it behind behind the picture right there. I'm sure that Thank you so much. I'm a model that would come out if like, can I get a soda water with a lime? Yeah. Thank you.

I'm going to get a coconut. Anyways, so I go out. I go out. This is the worst nightmare. I'm exhausted. I go out. I just, I just go in this one guy. I go this fucking old dude and he said something. I go, there's your kids. He goes, now, I go, what do you mean, not your kids? Some, and he goes, I go, and he says something, like they're very expensive. He's got all these jokes. He's dying. Then I say something, you gotta have faith.

He goes, I hope, I'm like, oh, no. He just keeps going. And on everything, and finally I go, shut the fuck up. I just lost it. Yeah, you know what, you know what sucks is? I pulled the plane up right, right before I went into the crowd and fought this guy.

I put a, hey, and I spied on. And he's in the back of the room. So he's yelling every time. Nobody can hear. He hears, plus Gotham has these huge fucking ceilings. This is the only job where someone can fuck with you at your job. And then that microphone.

And other people are like, Yeah, no, it's fine. Keep doing that. Yeah, no, I'm on this guy. Like if I was eating at a restaurant and I was like, Hey, wait, or fuck you. I'd be like, what an animal. But this is the only job that I have.

It's my fault, though. I don't go away. You were trying to pull it back. Blood just. And then you moved on, but you were fine after that. Yeah, I, I, I, I recover. What was the last time you bombed? That was probably, I mean, I think the,

we're talking about the ittel show. I don't, I didn't bomb, okay? But for TV, I'm not, fuck, I can't explain it. That's how my access set was. I hope my access, my access set was awesome. Yeah, you see that? I was fucking loved it. That was great. That was the first time because I didn't have to it was awesome. Yeah, you see I was fucking loved it. That was the first time because Though I didn't have anything in my head. I was like fuck it. Let's go

But this comedy central for some reason I feel like they don't Fucking like me. That's all in your head. I maybe So when I go in it's never friendly. It's right over here, but thanks buddy. Thank you so much This guy is not working up here. You just got that as a favor. Thank you very much, bro Thank you very much. Do you want to be on the podcast? No, yes, I was kidding. I was just kidding I know it's what I go here. That's fine. It's shut up. You know, that's good.

I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I, but I know what you mean because when I did live at Gotham, I was, it was my first TV appearance, and I was so ramped up. And everyone's like, dude, you're gonna walk on stage and fucking murder. And I was like, all right, Jim Jeffries was hosting. I was like, here we go.

It was my first TV set. Yeah. It's a seven o'clock show on a Thursday they rushed everyone in the warm up guy did a minute bring up Jim Jeffries Jim Jeffries who by the way one of the best stand-up comedians working does he does okay does pretty good right brings me up my first line nothing panic mode I was like you know when you start doing a weird swallow when it's not like, and then I just crawled to the next joke and then finally by the end I was like, dude all my friends

that flew out to see me after the show were like, yeah man, you got them by the end. And you're like, oh, I loved you dude for that half hour. 10 minutes, I was so terrified for my half hour that I I was like this is gonna suck that I was that I went out like fuck it and it was Amazing right that's what you get to do. I know but there are I mean look there are When Joe's gonna bury me by the way, I was gonna actually I gotta follow both of you fucking losers I watched list of the cellar last night. He's a fucking goddamn machine. Your list is on fire.

Yeah, he's one of the funniest dudes in New York. He is fucking on fire. Let's not get carried away. He's got 20 minutes of good shit. He's got 30 of all stay in the room. Yeah, he's got around 32. I'm like, I can go the back. Joe's pumping out new jokes where I'm like, god damn it.

He's like, yeah, fucking. Last night, the cello, he's like, I open new. How's that guy? I have it. I'm gonna be honest damn it. He's like, yeah, fucking. I said, I said, I'm open new. How's that going? I have it. I'm going to be honest with you right now. I haven't fucking, I can't write a fucking joke. You know what it is? You got so much shit going on that if you just spent one hour

and just put ideas down and then could always go back to it, I think you'll be. Kelly's, by the way, it's Kelly's after drink special. Was he Nate? and just put ideas down and then could always go back to it. I think you'll be- Kelly's, by the way, it's Kelly's after drink special. Whiskey Nate? After set special, I just say. After school, what? What, that's whiskey and what?

Whiskey Nate, I always drink whiskey. Whiskey Nate? Yeah. You really are like a bowling alley waitress. I got the Sagittarius like one. No, they look good today. But you just, you can just take so much shit and you're just like sassy Sassy am I shit? I'm saying she always drinks that after she has a set I fucking no

I'm serious. I haven't been able to fucking think funny You know I did it on the set like because when we have a scene I can fucking see the scene I know where the funny supposed to be and I can throw these things in you know what I mean Yeah, some of them make and some of them though, you know what I mean? but when For stand up, I feel like shit I did a set at uncle Vinny's on sat Saturday I did an hour and 20 and I I what I did you what you said I don't give a fuck

I'm gonna what hack how I I feel, because I feel like people are so much better than me. Like people write, or even young guys coming up, you know, it's like, I'm, I've been working on my comedy. Yeah. So it's like, fuck me. You feel like you're out of shape. If comedy's a muscle.

I don't give a fuck. I just wanna, I wanna come off the road. I wanna fucking not do it for a living. I wanna want to I want to come off the road. I want to fucking not do it Living I want to fucking do it because I want to do it, you know what I mean? Yeah, I want to get on TV. I want to do a series. I want to do this and then fucking do do this what what He didn't bring in the soup What are you talking about? What are you talking about? I smell the soup.

Okay, go get it, you savage. You are seriously, anyways. You're a godly animal. Honey, I think you're not focused on this fucking bus taking Reacon. So I think it's because your focus, your creative focus has changed, but it comes back. No, it will come back.

But right now, I'm telling you, I mean, Lewis, I don't even know if Lewis understands this. He will. I would hope he does get this. The fact that is that lobster? So I, when you wake up in the morning, I wake up in the morning, I am up all fucking day. See, I take a nap. Yeah, I used to take naps. You know what you need?

It's running out of the kid. No. If you can just even 10 to 20 minutes. They say 20 minutes is the ideal nap time. But I, too much shit to do, bro. I come home, there's a fucking, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta empty the trash. I gotta put the styrofoam, I gotta do this. I gotta put this together, then I gotta clean that, then I gotta empty the trash. I gotta put the styrofoam. I gotta do this. I gotta put a table.

I gotta put this together. Then I gotta clean that. Then I gotta move this box. I gotta focus the, then I gotta go in that room. Unpack that. Put this here. Get that dude. I'm like coming, oh, I'm becoming a,

a, a obsessive, compulsive. Like, and, and I think my wife likes it because I'm finally cleaning dude. I'm telling her to get her shit together. And it's getting weird. I used to be the messiest fucking the world Now I want shit clean. I will do it exactly what my girlfriend does, which is you overload yourself. Yeah You overload your shit with like stuff you need to do and then you freak yourself out and you don't fucking

You know what I mean, but I need to fucking I tell you this now that the the pilots over I'm going back I'm going to Canada for two weeks. Yeah, I'm gonna try to write something like I'm gonna write a show or something I'm surprised you have a friend because I'm losing candidature. I'm not I usually oh my god I get new stuff. I don't give it. I'm doing whatever the fuck works I'm doing whatever the fuck works when I go up there You know it's gonna try to kill the crowd and have fun again doing stand-up You know what's gonna change this for you? What one new great bit that you love yeah that one new bit comes in I had it. Yeah, but it's still now. I had it. I had it wrong. What's the new great one?

I love talking about the kid. All that stuff was coming out of me, but now you can stop. We have stopped. You know what? Now you just got to find something else that you like to talk about up there that just is fun. I know, I know, but it's just.

That's all it is. You're just not finding something. Like someone will talk about a fucking running into a bear. And I'm like, I couldn't even make that. My life is so serious right now, for some reason, with all the responsibilities I have, that how the fuck can I see the funny? The only time I see funny is when I'm fucking happy.

And I'm not stressed, and I'm feeling good. That's why envy you fucks for doing weed, I mean, I'm able to drink, or whatever the fuck you do It I envy it's so bad because I I don't have food. I don't have sex I have nothing to escape and go and they want you mix what are you not having sex? No, not at all. Another kid sleeping in the bed Dude you got right. You actually don't call B to ask her about Getting into a threesome with us. Why is your mic not working?

You need what you know you you know you need to do Bobby you need to make yes put that fucking shitty blue Sorry, you have to make your new escape comedy fucking what? That's what you need to be you know these mics work next time. Yeah, Bobby Dan Soder's talking taking me. I'm gonna throw this goddamn microphone at you. Who's up? You're up next. You're up next. No, not just get him the fuck you fucking fucking idiot. Get him off, put that up. Don't listen, don't ever listen to him. He's a fucking idiot. Put it down, put it down down go do you shit? I

Don't like lose ever and you guys like him that's ways around I know you think I wanted them on the show tonight I'm saying this to birthday did great. Can you listen to this for so get it great? What one of the best sets of ever seen her have stop it? What are you on? I mean stop saying much for the you know shut up The comedy world I mean I got a close break from She's little little less good women don't count women always give a plug I got a fucking suck to dick over there. I fucking hate it right. What are you a rapper? I'm trying to be as my new thing because it hurts my ears. I'm sorry Bobby. Where are you going?

What papa you saying You gotta put the baby in the bed. Sit over there. Grab, I'll just grab that microphone. I know it's hard, but the baby, you gotta do that. I know, I know the baby has to go in the bed. I know everything has to change. I know, and I'm gonna have to go through two weeks

of hard screaming and looking at my vision. And that's okay. That's okay, you'll do it. Everyone does it. I'm leaving for two weeks. Here's the thing too. It's a sleep. I don't know if you guys go through,

you guys have never booked a pilot. But when you, when you booked something someday, when it's over, it's, it's like breaking up with a girl. Yeah. You're with these people every day, all day. Yep. The makeup ladies, the producers, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they're your family.

They're literally taking care of you. You're taking care of each other. And you're doing this amazing creative, focused thing for seven to nine days, all day long. You're day, you wake up with these people. You leave those people hug and kiss, see it tomorrow. And then it's over. And it might be over forever.

It might be over forever. When you say goodbye, and I've done it. It's it's it's For most of these people forever So someone you would so close with someone who got you lunch or you had coffee You laughed with you spent hours in a fucking room watching a monitor to see and waiting for your thing to come on I mean everybody taking care all this amazing. Oh my god shit That you're dream you're in a dream on a set with fucking leery and and and John Corbetton and a Michael What god you put it in yes, oh god Mike ails

I mean these people these are people that I've seen on TV for years and then it's all over and it's like any given Tuesday after a podcast No I know that makes that supposed to be funny No, it was I want the bandana, but there's no But you're in fifth gear and you're gonna have to Actually you would be the first person kicked off the podcast. I know I know you never get the band to you comic Yeah, and you have to go to the fence.

I can tell, I can tell why. But no, my point is that it's a sad thing, man. It's really sad because you did this great shit. Now it's over. You know what I mean? Like today I woke up and was back to my life. It's weird. Now I'm going to Canada for two weeks,

which is that's gonna be, I'm gonna be with them. And when I'm with them, it's the same shit. weeks, which is that's gonna be I'm gonna be with them and when I'm with them It's the same shit Simon Zoe that's your family you wake up It is and then when you come home. It's this weird fucking thing that I'm gonna be going through again It's a weird fucking time of my life right now. I think FYI that's Chris Ellis. Chris Ellis from Love Club. You know Chris Ellis? You know who our important he is, right? Yeah, but I was fucking busting his bullfog.

I think we just got here. Okay, it's all freaking his bulls here, Henry. Oh, Henry, put it in. Oh my God, that's all I have. Oh, look at that. That's amazing. Oh, and they got the prettiest girl in Jersey City to bring it up here.

Are you the owner's wife or girlfriend? The what? Mistress. Oh my God, do you own the place? What do you do here? Director of events. Oh my god. She's like literally she looks like the daughter from sopranos. What are you mad at? She's way harder than you. She's harder than me. She's harder than me. Yeah. Talk to me. You're an asshole. She said thank you. You're way harder than me. I think my name is hot a shit. You're an asshole

No, it's huge nostrils Do you have a boyfriend? Of course she does She's gonna Five fucking big dude. Is he? Anyways, but thank you for bringing that up. Yes, thank you. Can I eat some? I'm sorry.

Yeah, go ahead, eat. Here's the thing though, is that it's fucking crazy right now. It's different phases of your life. Right. And they go, you go in, you go in deep, you have a big family. Yeah. You're there constantly, hours spent every day, and then you break, and then you enter in the new world.

But then you add the comedy in. And here's the thing though, is that when you, I think you're focused on comedy, I gotta learn how to multitask comedy. And I've never done that. I did comedy, went to the cellar every night, and just did shows and worked on stuff, and then I went on the road or

I didn't Mm-hmm, you understand, mm-hmm And then when I didn't you feel guilty about it and then when you go on you do when you're on shows and you feel fucked up Even on your show, dude, I was like fuck it. I'm getting I just got to do this Mm-hmm on my head somewhere else, right? Go on this autopilot thing which I don't like being on I like like sad Any night I fucking annihilated yeah, that's where I like to be yeah, but I I guess I got a I know it's a weird fucking spot Well, you're doing it sound I mean from your schedule from what I see you're doing that and everything else

But the positive thing is that you are so much more adaptable to change than you were you know Say three years ago five years ago, you know mean no, I've no I think you are what are you talking about? Your life is changing Well, your life always used to be comedy and pussy comedy and pussy and then slowly you started changing things Another thing I miss and it's good. Oh no it's not dude I'm out there. Comedy. Nothing out there. I'm out there. You gotta get the baby out of the bed. Get the baby out of the bed. Trust me. Can I bust you? What's that for the guy? Yeah so I guess that we have the four mics coming and they all came but

let's not do Q&A. Do we have to do it? You don't have to do it. I mean we advertise it. It's up to you guys. Yeah, I mean it's really up to me. We've got the live podcast going on in here so that's already the part of it. Do they know it's supposed to be happening? It's worked, Joe. It's not on the posters. It was mentioned on the Facebook of that page. It is legitimately up to you. Even if you just want to take two minutes at the end and just answer questions or not nothing it's up it's legit. Well I mean we can bring everybody back let's let's do it on core why you let your faggot. Wow well here's the thing I mean we're gonna you guys gonna be signing posters and shit. This is why I don't have you around because you're just an asshole

yeah you're an asshole. Yeah no they always don't land because Yeah, no, they always don't land. Because the two aggressive and mean. You didn't hear yesterday show. Terrible, I heard it. I have it. I listen to it. It's my show. You were terrible. You decide you took at the end? Oh, you took the opposite side of women.

It's just terrible. What the fuck? You talk about the opposite side of women. I don't know. I'm just making a shit up. You didn't even fucking listen to the show. You asshole. Listen, anyways.

Here's the thing. If you're going to do the Q&&A all of you on stage at once, there might be some Mike sharing going on. Yeah, of course, that's fine. That's fine. Joe, how'd you do? Yeah, they're a high crowd. Yeah, Mike is super hot.

Oh, sorry. You had a good time? Yeah, it was fun, they're good. Yeah, you had a good time? Yeah. So it's like around a little bit up front. It's a pizza. What do you mean?

I was kind of doing jokes I wrote yesterday. But they were nice, and then I kicked it into gear. See, we were just talking about that. We were just talking about um, but they were nice. So I thought I do a new stuff. We were just talking about that. Look, I, I, I've been so fucked up and busy and crazy. I haven't been able to do any comedy. And now when I do shows, I feel like shit. You know what I mean? Yeah, I do. I now go into a similar thing because I'm doing this new CD and then I'm like, I got it start over and then you know what material.

It's fucking weird. I should have filled my hour six months ago. He is. I remember when I was doing the hour at the creek in the cave. I did a whole week. I was ready to fucking go. And then it all fell apart. And now I feel like it's all over the place I don't even know what my fucking hour is anymore

Because now I had the kid that shit was before that that was like ready to go before the kid Yeah, you got to get it out there before you make the life change because now you got a new chapter But now I got this this other stuff that doesn't I don't even know I Don't even fucking know I got all these jokes. I don't do about women getting old and the my grandmother's foot and all that shit And the the fucking the waxing my ass. I don't even do that shit. The intimacy. I don't do any of it Gating God. I haven't done that shit in so long. I don't even know how to fuck huh? I started the night off calling Jesus Christ a twat So everything you know what tonight. Yeah, why? It's a lent fucking bit I do about whatever. Oh, we don't need to redo my

Get a sandwich he just did he he's heard that I have a joke about hating God. Oh shit I might have a similar joke. Let me fucking stake my claim. I'm not Stake in my claim. I know If you know I'm telling you I was not the same bit. Yeah, it's not I'm just saying I've already Kelly has to do this podcast from now on the food and I'm a new special guest Lenny Dexter I'm gonna take a stab in the block. I'm just saying this is how people hear you anyways. I'm just saying I already I already I already Insulted religion started the night off. So that's that's that's You're fine. Well, here's the thing. But tonight this crowd. I mean

Shut up Craig Well, if you Oh my god Fat cow It's not like you're popping into the seller for it's into the seller for a Only time Lewis is left tonight is that right there Sit down Baba sit on daddy's You're right Baba you're looking good kid. Thanks man How you doing, bros? Go try to make it up, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, at the food area. I'm really going to go. You need to stop eating bread.

Louis, are you going to host the show while I'm on stage? Yeah, I host the show. I say. Well, I'm going to bring you up. Joe's going to have to hold the day. Joe, are you holding it down? I can hold it down, bro. Let me know.

I don't like this fucking new dude. What are you talking about? Let me know if we're doing the Q&A afterwards. Do you guys want to do Q&A? Yeah. Who do you think Joe's doing Q&A? I don't care. I think it's, here's the deal. Let's do at the end. Louis brings us all back up. No, can I tell you are? I don't care. I think it's, here's the deal. We all do, and let's do, at the end, Lewis

brings us all back up. No, can I tell you something? It's going to be the best. Actually, I say it's Q&A, and I say, why? Because when we go up there, and then we go, hey, it's time for the Q&A, and everyone leaves, it's going to be the best moment of my life. Yeah, it might be a tad pretentious for the 40%

of people that have no idea what to do. Listen, here's the deal. I say, you bring us all back. Let's do an encore. Have everybody down there ready to go Well, all go you bring us all back up in order of appearance We'll go back up on stage and then we're gonna go with crack two with yes, and whatever appearance so Kelly goes first I was making sure I gotta get all the fucking I wish you happy birthday at the end of my set

You're the prettiest. Here's the deal. Craig, how many mics do we have? We got a blue microphone? No, no, no, we can plug in a... I love blue microphone. I know. I love blue microphone. No, we've got a wireless setup we can plug in.

Right. As soon as you're done, we can plug and hook that up and then pass that up. Perfect. Awesome. All right, so you'll do that. You'll control the... Me and you will do it, okay? So let me let me run downstairs and make sure we're ready to go with that

I sure do it. I'm gonna hold it down. Kelly stop eating if she's fucking just playing up grease with her fingers. Oh my god Somebody take a video of this hungry She hasn't even open up since five a.m. I have a radio eat all you want, but don't talk while you're doing it I have a rain yeah eat all you want but don't talk while you're doing it Paul is oh my god, this is the weirdest podcast ever. It's kind of fun. I like it. Yeah, absolutely I thought it's from the perspective. I wish everyone could see us run it up and down I thought it would be a good idea for the fans Because They don't really they get us in the studio all the time

It's kind of like live time of like there's something going on This is what there's something going on back here in the car in the way up here Right these guys what killing it am I right am I right? What I really regret Lewis look at the pizza cuz he doesn't want the cops Lewis I'm fucking wasted What's wrong with the car? This is eating pizza like an ice cream cone He's kidding me now and now Kelly's gonna eat what he just licked the cops. What's wrong with the cops? This is eating pizza like an ice cream cone.

He's kidding me now. And now Kelly's going to eat what he just licked. Have you eaten that? I'll be your fucking hero forever. I love you. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.

Don't drop. Don't drop. Kelly Verstuka. Lewis Gomez is on no sugar no grain. So he just went and ate the stuff off the pizza. And it's not like a big cheesy pizza. It's a little personal fucking brick oven pizzas like nothing on it and then he licked it off and then candid to Kelly and Kelly fat stoker is eating is eating the

fucking bread from the pizza. It was like a dog. I hold it down Joe you take him over I'm going down. Alright I'm holding it down. I'm getting nervous though. Oh I got the cans and everything Joe tell us about your set. Oh my goodness. No, it's just water. We're fine. I just spilled a little water But it wasn't on the cans Bobby, what are we doing after you're done? How are you doing? So do I just say good night? You got a Bobby? You got it Bobby? Why are you pants are that?

I was just saying things should pants before you got enough stents. So how do I end it then? Did you just have a buffet? I just say that's the end of the podcast. Do I say Godspeed? I'm gonna go. Oh yeah, but just leave a little Chris, Chris you're ending it. I got it.

I got it from here. I'm gonna tell gonna have to be what's going on the TV right now Yeah You're in it right now you're in it right kid. Yeah, in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in it right now. You're in We're expecting all new material Last time I saw you at a go-t and you know no wife I haven't seen you in 25 years What I meant you I meant the 90s that was a joke with the 90s. Let's wrap it up so we can watch you Yeah, you need your phone. I texted you a picture of a of you and us No, it's probably What let's get run the light We got a mystery

I don't know buddy. I can call you but you never gave me your number You know I don't know buddy. I can call you but you never gave me your number All right, that's the end of the show Oh Everybody's device. Oh Kelly and the show would you go with food in your mouth? Love you guys why can't you do thanks for listening? I'm reading you on your phone Bob It's ringing the YKWD podcast. We like to thank everybody coming out Why does it say avoid don't answer? Joining us is the live show at the Jersey City Comedy Festival. Thanks Craig Mahoney. Thanks Matt Kelly Chris Ellis and

Thanks Matt. Thank you guys. I have a thank you Kelly We had a lot of fun. Yeah, it was great. We had a lot of it. We're some good moments We appreciate you guys being here don't tell Bobby, but I I need to find a cigarette of someone because I just finished mine. We're not gonna tell anybody about that. Do you know anyone who smokes cigarettes here? I'm dying for smoke. No. Fuck.

And that's bartender. This is always bartender, is this my- All the bartenders. I never scab, I never scab cigarettes, but I just smoked my last one. I'm in the middle of fucking nowhere, Jersey fucking city. So I don't know what's going on.

Anyway, thank you so much for the for like I did video on Facebook and Twitter Love button love button dot com the syndicate of the best Dessert just came in we're in the podcast. So do you want to talk about your about your On As we're ending the show follow me on Twitter at danceoder danceoder dot com by the Lewis Gay Jamers Chris scopo journalist comedy Bobby Kelly's The Bobby Kelly, Wacularismos, Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca.

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