Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Bad Butts | The Regz w/ Robert Kelly, Dan Soder, Luis J. Gomez and Joe List Ep #73

Episode Date: October 7, 2026

Robert Kelly, Luis J. Gomez, Joe List, and Dan Soder discuss the issue with living outside New York City, being fat, who is late the most, who has a bad butt, crying in sports, Tires on Netflix and if Bobby watched it, could they knock out each other in 1 punch, and more! LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... SOCIALS Robert Kelly @ykwdpodcast https://robertkellylive.com/https://www.instagram.com/robertkelly... Luis J. Gomez https://luisofskanks.com/https://www.instagram.com/gomezcomedy/https://twitter.com/luisjgomez Joe List https://twitter.com/JoeListComedyhttps://www.instagram.com/joelistcomedy/ Dan Soder https://www.dansoder.com/https://www.instagram.com/dansoder/ Thanks to @johng.wav on Instagram for the new intro music. SPONSORS Ultra Don’t sleep on @ultrapouches. New customers get 15% off with code REGZ at https://takeultra.com #UltraPouches #ad INDACLOUD If you’re 21 or older, get 30% OFF your first order @ IndaCloud with code REGZ at https://inda.shop/REGZ #indacloudpod BodyBrain Coffee Use code REGZ10 to get 10% off coffee and creamer and get a FREE gift https://www.BodyBrainCoffee.com/ GLD New customers get 40% off with code REGZ at http://GLD.com Mint Mobile Get your wireless bill to $15/month! http://MintMobile.com/regz Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, what's going on, Regs fans? Guess what? December 12th. Oh, I'm shooting my special. I'm going back to New England. I've never done a special in New England. I've never done a theater special, and I'm doing it all. I can't wait.

I can't wait. I'm opening. I'm doing the warm up. It's going to be fun as hell. Providence. You around? Probably. Great a book yourself.

Providence, Rhode Island. That beautiful-ass theater. It's the Uptown theater. Our boys got it. They refurbished it. It's moving on. up moving on up to providence providence bobby's finally got a special in a theater

they got it back good moving on up December 12th joe 1212 is a motherfucking date oh 12 12 12 is a good date that is a good date you'll never forget it 12 12 12 that's what the day my dad died and it's the day Bobby killed dude Bobby killed Dan's dad and bring a back we'll do a seance after the special.

He'll come into your body. He'll use you as a vessel. I'll come into your buddy. My dad'll bust in your ass. Dude, your fucking dad's ghost is shooting ghost shows. Oh, fuck me, Bobby. December 12th, go to Uptown Comedy Club pvd.com.

Get your tickets now. A lot of the VIPs, I think, are gone, but there's a couple left, and it's selling fast. So get your tickets. I want you guys to be there. Everybody, New York. What? It's not Uptown Comedy Club. Uptown theater

The theater Uptown.com Talking to Mike Uptown PVD What is it Uptown PVD Sounds like a porn category Uptown

PVD It's all black POV You get from a porn star You got PVD You know no Uptown PVD Uptown PVD You know what that is

All right So make sure you guys go I really want to see you guys All there All right And back to the show Fill her up Phil Network

It's up everybody We're back It's the Rang with a Z. Joe List, dance soda, Lewis, J.

Gomez, and me, Bobby Kelly. We're wearing your evil shirt. Smell a breath and ran, dude. I did. You ran over here.

Well, I'm, I don't know and I think I jog. I think I walked with a good gate. Did you do a power walk?

I tried to have my gate a little longer than it usually is. Check the gate. Having a short gate sucks. Yeah,

having a short sucks. I don't talk that much. You're speaking about short things that sucks. Yeah, because when you're walking fast, it looks like you're trying to walk fast.

Well, there's a guy in front of me walking in front of me very slowly, but he was tall. Don't do that yet. Walking. Wow. The guy was in front of me. That was good. And then I was walking and he was walking. And then we were there.

Yeah. And now I'm here. Yes. That was pretty good. Thank you. Whoa. Whoa. Yeah.

Oh. Yeah. Sawmill. Fucking. but the worst one motherfucker fucks up. That's like the 15 going up to Boston. So that means it's so much. You're saying the sawmills,

is that what it's great when it's completely empty? Yes. A road is great when there's nobody else on it. If one person fucks up, it fucks up the entire sawmell. I would say the sawmills sucks. I mean, I'm not going to chime in on this at all. No, no, don't. But this is what goes on for 10 years now.

Everyone's like, you got to move here. And one little fender, fender, bender, It's a nightmare, I can't get that! Can I defend the sawmell? If the train breaks, I walk here. Can I defend the sawmow? You've been walking here? Christopher walking here.

Wow, my name is Joe. Yes. My mouth is small. If you're just pointed at somebody to have them. Dude voices? This is what I've been missing out. I'm married. I love her, but I'd like to get head from my babysitter.

That was between us. Sorry. My babysitter's my niece. Oh. Hey. I told you privately. Can I defend the sawmill? Talk.

to him. I don't give a shit. No, I'll talk to you. I'll talk to you. All highways are good when there's not traffic, yes. But there's, like, no traffic. Let's not simplify it. There's no traffic ever on the sawmill. It's just, boom, 50 minutes to the city. But if one dickhead, there's no point.

You do not live 50 minutes from the city ever. They're doing this for 10 years. In fact, Joe Russell, Joe Russell, jump on the microphone real quick. Guarantee. Joe Russell, tell him what, you know what I want you to tell. one time my house sat for Bobby and it took like an hour

to get here because he drives like Joe Russell listen to his voice one time it took me an hour I'm doing 55 Bobby's like you can get there in 50 minutes if you risk yours and your family If you take a helicopter

I'm just saying I've done it in 50 minutes There's people that you've driven by They go The sawmill's great except for guys like him You know you've been up there Yeah. It's not that far.

Plug it into Google Maps. It's not that bad. Let's see. Honestly, it was a 45-minute subway ride from Astoria when we used to have to come down. It's the same thing, but I live in heaven. I live in heaven. You're dead? Heaven.

Heaven. Joe's lifting his dog. Is Lewis staring at me right now? Yeah. Okay. I felt it. Is he still staring? Yeah.

Oh, okay. Is it still looking cute, though. Lewis is looking like a cutie but-to-to-ty with this little hat. Took me 51 minutes. Fall Lewis? today. I love Fall Lewis. Yeah.

I want most of the fall. Leaf people, Lewis? Yeah. The fall of Lewis. I'm here for it, too. Yeah. It's the sequel to the movie, I'm making. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Somebody asked me, they're like, are you pissed at Joe's about, are you pissed with, not from here. What are you? This, where you're coming, dude, an hour and 24 minutes. Hour 24.

An hour and 24 minutes. It's crazy. Twice as long as he's pretending. I go from 50th, from 57th Street to my, to where, don't put my address in, you,

and nuts. Okay, thanks. Put from 57th Street to Cotono. Watch this. Right, but then you still have more to go. You put from 181st Street to Cotona. And then after that, put it 57th Street to hear. Driving at 55 miles an hour, I do 6570.

So now... That takes off like three minutes. Takes off 20 minutes. No, it does. That's crazy. Prove it. Prove it. Just prove it.

Why do people think I'm pissed at you? They were like, no, you piss off at Joe about the doctor. And I was like, why would we piss about the documentary? And they were like, the amount of time is taken, the fucking blah, blah, blah, blah. You could have done it yourself. I was like, no, we couldn't have. This is a real movie. I saw the budget.

I saw what everyone's donated. I was like, this is great. We should just take it the money. We could have had Paco. That's a great Norm MacDonald bit. You ever hear that bit? About investors. He's like, these billionaires are like, we're putting $20 million into a movie.

We're putting $30 million into batteries. Like, why not just keep your money? He's like, you have the money. But yeah, someone else said that they're like, this is taking so long. I'm like, we shot 1,000 hours of footage. How many? 1,000. We shot for four days the movies about Lewis's life and 10 years of Skankfest.

This is going to be like apocalypse now where there's also a documentary about the making of the movie because it drove Joe insane. Yeah. We would joke it. We could make an entirely second cut where Lewis just looks horrible. You should do a five-minute reel of him looking horrible. Just like a little teaser. Was that movie with that crazy? actor. Wendy City Heat?

No, the other one. The guy with the black hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was that movie. Harry Potter. No. No, it's famously bad and then they made a movie. The room. The room. The room. The room. No. Top gun. The room. No. That was great. The top gun was amazing. Tommy Wiseau. Yeah. That guy. We could do that. Maybe Bobby's camping movie. Oh, I watched that. No. I got excited. I just... You showed it to him, too? No.

You said you were sure you were never know. You're not supposed to even talk about it. I said don't even talk about it. I'm just saying it to you. I know seven people who have seen this movie. I've told him. No, that's not true. It's not true. That's not, what are you doing?

You're going to get me in fucking trouble legally. I told you to not talk at all. Legally, you're going to get in trouble. Who's going to sue you? Fucking Jake. Billy. Meredith. Jake, the snake.

Billy Gunn. Billy Gunn. He's all made up. Hulk might do it. Meredith. Vince. Baxter. She's saying bitch, right?

I'm a bitch. I'm a lover. I'm a child. I'm a mother. I'm a sister. I'm a sinner. I'm a saint. That too.

I do not feel ashamed. Dude, you're feeling very little affair today. And I love it, girl. I really do like Fall Lewis with the little hat. You're a little cutie. We should have a little pumpkin spice. You're a little key chain.

Yeah. I actually, you know the new Facebook meta IA guy, whatever his name is? IA guy. The AI guy No, you were right The IA guy It's literally two letters

IA guy I ain't captain AI oh you This fucking idiot believes in us This is an intelligence artificial I know I fucking I fell Wow

You know what happens is I You ever fall running up the steps That's what happened on If I walk through a mall Whatever it is about mall flooring I always like Catch my foot Me too

Like I'll just be walking with my girlfriend I was like I jump on Nothing. It's just my foot scraping against the mall floor and the rubber of my shoe catches it. Mall names. Dude, I've been having, I'm not kidding. I've had this for like 10 years and I keep thinking I have like Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's.

I feel like I take a precursor like not all-timers. All-time. Hell yeah. I just feel like. Herpes, all-time. That's an all-timer. Dude, that makes me feel good. Yeah.

But I know what you mean. Just the goofiest fucking hero. I try to look cool with my girl. We were walking for the mall the other day. You know, I can pretty much buy this whole mall. All right, do you like that? Let's go to Pax Sun. Let's put on some board shorts.

I was thinking about a Skagfest kiosk. How about just an all skank store? That's not bad. It's a good idea. Christmas time. Body brain kiosk would rock. Whoa. I thought about doing like body brain at like those street fair, like vendor things,

like health ones. You're next to a shwarmacart? Yeah. It's called the farmer's market. That's it. The farmer's market. Oh shit. He scared the fuck out of me.

A little fucking sneaky jazz. A little ninja joke Filming for the intro I don't know what Hold on one second What What? What? Nothing

Who is it? Yes What's happening? Mine of a cleaning lady Last time she was there You weren't You didn't talk about this Water is like the bane of my existence

Water? Water Bain Oh I was born in the ocean Pound of my Oh my Oh my

Oh, I rain on your parade. Only once your house is fled. Remember there was like eight months that we only talked like that? We were also still drinking. And we wouldn't stop getting drunk and laughing about Bain being afraid of spiders. Yes, that's right. That was before Lewis came and thought he was the point guard. Back in those days, I'd be like, what if Bain was afraid of spiders?

And then Dan would go. Yeah. Like, oh, Mr. Wayne, oh. What the fuck? actually recorded it at one point. Was that a spider? This is how long ago it was we recorded it as like an audio sketch. Yeah. Audio sketches? It was a big, right? Yeah, we did radio. When the minisk

was big? Radio bits. Anyways, go back to your house. No, seriously, go back to your house. According to Bobby, it'll make me 22 minutes if I take the sawmill. If you go sawmill, you can go back in time. Just hit 88. Yeah, you're back in 65. We didn't linger on how insane it is that you're like, no, Don't put in where we are.

Put it to the midway point. Because I take the train. Yeah, that's another 30 minutes. That's not. It's a fucking eight minute ride. It wasn't. It was like saying my trip to Detroit, put in me to hear LaGuardia. Yeah.

How long is that? And then just skip it. Buddy, you don't understand the rules and rags of living in Westchester? It's five-year-old logic. It's like child logic. Buddy, it's the logic of Westchester. You got to fucking. abide by the rule.

This is all a ruse. It's not a ruse. Here's my beef. And it's not a real beef. It's a bit, but. New segment. Here's my beef. My beef.

You fucking talk shit about something while you eat a cheeseburger. Yeah, we could have care of here on. I should show a pussy. I would love a keep burger. I think. You think. I think. I've been meditating.

I think my suggestion would be, continue to talk about how wonderful where you live is. But just say, it's a pain in the. the ass sometimes it takes a long time to get here. But it's awesome. Instead of this thing. To get somewhere, it's a particularly long commute. You get to Connecticut in that time. I'm going to do this right now.

And I'm not supposed to do this. I'm not supposed to do this. Yeah. Show damn the movie? Because I, we stop saying it. Dude, what's wrong with you? You're fucked up. What's wrong with you? We're holding hands. Don't extend the bit. I want this to be over. I want to see the movie. I want to stop. We stop. It's really fucking good. He showed to me a long time ago.

I didn't see him. A long time ago. seen it. He's fucking with you. That's crazy. He's fucking with you. This is why you get nothing. And your mouth is too big. Everyone I've shown it to is also love it. Shut the fuck up. We aired it on our Patreon. People are loving it.

Can I get to watch it? Can I say something? Can I say something? Yes. I want to be honest right now. I'm not supposed to do this. Do you have a camping movie? No. Talking about the... He filmed it with... Shut up. He's been talking about it by two years. Shut up. Trying to open up right now and you fucking

ruining it, man. Go ahead. Open up like the Sawmills River Parkway. It takes me. It takes me to get home from 50th. We don't care about 50th. That's right. And I mean nothing to us.

That's right part. Yes. That's right part. 46. Don't let go. Joe, don't let them. Through midtown traffic. Joe, put the hand.

They're the worst part of the trip. Put the hand back on there. That felt good. Yeah. 55 minutes. To get here. From 50th? My parking lot.

to home, 55 minutes. We believe that it takes you an hour to get home from Midtown on the West Side Highway. Yeah. It takes it from there, from there, it takes me 24 minutes to get home. That's sick. I would like to do a little more research on this.

I thought you were going to say, yes, you're right, you're right, I'm going to come clean. It's very difficult to live in. It's usually when I come in, first of all, I'm getting shit. I'm never late. You're late very often.

And you guys give me shit for being late. I feel like you're late as just as often as me. Am I late? Dan, be honest. Don't be afraid. Don't be bitter because you haven't seen this movie. Dan, be honest. Dan, look at me.

You're late a lot. You're late. Lewis is late every single time. I wasn't late today. I was rarely late. I walked in at 131. You guys were already reading ads. It's not late.

Answer. Answer. You're rarely late. Who's the latest out of all of us? Blue. Bang. And does he get shit for? Who's the oldest? Probably.

Who's going to die the soonest? Any of us. Take a number. Yeah. Could be any of us. I mean, it was me. Joe's always here early. I'm usually here second.

And then it goes, Bobby, you. Yeah. But I'm never late. What is this new thing you do? I know. I don't know what it is. It's never been you. You've never done.

You've watched the sopranos this weekend. Or he goes, yesterday he goes, Don, I'm going to try it. I've seen you do that. She goes, don't Bobby. Don't on the podcast. He's like, hey, Lewis got a rattle. This might be my rattle. I'm telling you.

I've seen you do that. I've seen you do that. That's a lot. That's a lot. He does that. He's not putting down a fresh pizza pie. Listen, you guys are fucking nuts. Double is crazy.

Dual wheel is out of your fucking mind. You're the one that's late and never get shit. No, we give him shit. I always give him shit. Oh, my God. He doesn't go off for 10 minutes about how long it takes him yet. Well, normally, the first time is calming here. There's me 11 minutes to get here for my house.

From my house, which is heaven. Oh, once I hit. I'm up in the clouds? My heaven house. I'm up with St. P. next thing I know I'm here. I came in, said him, first of all, I said

every, I'm gonna be late. Yeah. Told you, I'm gonna be late. Can I yell at Dan? I didn't yell at Danny. I actually, I was pretty respectful. I heard you yell on him. I didn't yell at him.

Don't know, hold on, hold on. Danny, feel free to get on the microphone. We had a very lovely respectful day. He didn't yell. He was very nice. I heard him yell at you. Oh, on the phone. You went, fucking, how much time?

Give us a time. No, I looked at that as him yelling at you. Yes. Yes. That's correct. You yelled at me. I was yelling at you. But then I remembered how great your movie was, and I was like, you know what?

Shut the fuck. You, fuck you, I choked on that. Choked on my sip of coffee because I was like, every time you sit and I go, The fuck, dude. What the fuck, bro? And I give great notes. What fuck, bro? I watch it with my girl and my son.

What? Shut up. You stop? What? Shut up. No, no, I don't know if I want to watch. It's your movie. You can't get in trouble.

No, you can't. Stop. Stop making this. Is this not enough for you? cut it out. Take this, do this. Joe, do you feel like your territory has been encroached on

by Bobby making a movie? No. Me and you're all going to make something together next year, this year. Gay porn. We're making some... You fakes. It's not fucking cool.

That's not cool. It's not cool. Gay porn. The world we live in, which is filmmaking, not cool. You're going to make some film all over Joe's glasses.

I have glasses, too. I have glasses. Well, you're going to be making the film. He's the takeer. I feel like Bobby and Mike Sowers have become one person. Wow.

That's actually hurt for it. That is the most offensive thing. What is the fuck? I'm crazy. In my, the years of doing this fucking podcast. Nobody's ever said something to me that fucking me. What the fuck?

He just verbally slown. What the fuck does that mean? That was crazy. A hat. Fuck you, Joe. A hat? The hat. The fucking hat.

My face. My face. I love Swarters, but that was crazy. Fucking Jesus Christ. I keep thinking it's him. He has the same hat. You could have just spit in his face. You know what?

I fucking. I'm not fucking. That's a mean thing to say. No, I'm just saying you have the same hat and you both have gray in your beard. What the fuck, man? You might as well. You have gray in your beard. Yeah, but I don't have the hat.

I don't have the hat anymore anyway. The hat's gone, all right? All right. Fucking Mike Swares. You're back. So all the fucking shit I've done the last four years. This is really hurtful to Michael. Yeah.

See? I kind of see it I kind of see it I mean you know what I kind of see it With the hat too With the hat Same beard

Same hat Yeah yeah you're right I guess that guy looks like he would play Young Dan Soder In the Dan Soder In the Dan Soter bio That's Dayton Bessett Great comic

Great good God damn I look What are you dating him? I was wondering What the attempt was gonna be Fun fact His mother dated Troy Aikman In high school

And they're still friends She was Dayton Akeman That's fun Dayton Akeman That could have been his name Doesn't he kind of look like a young Dan Soter though? No. If he played like 15 year old 16 year old dance owner.

If it was bad casting, yeah. Oh, damn, like a filmmaker. Bobby knows about casting better than most. Shut up. That is, I said nothing. Leave the film world alone. Why? Can we talk about the amazing job the cast in?

Shut up. I want to see. No, it's not, no, it's not a, it's, stop. It's not for you. Hey, Siri, you got to cut it out. All right. I'm ready for another box already. I should have got a box already.

I should have got a bigger one. I'm sorry. I got a large, for that reason. I was like, what are we making them go back and forth? It's crazy. You always make him go back. You love me yelling at him.

Get a car. Can we go back to the fact that I didn't yell at Danny? I was very respectful. I was like, he yelled at somebody. You yelled at me. No, I didn't even yell at you. I heard it.

All I said was, no, it was actually the frustration was at Danny because he let you walk over him. I did not. I said, I'm going to be late. I will let you know when I get to the city. And then I texted Dan because it was right there. I couldn't find the regs thing.

I was going to text everybody. Then I texted Dan, bro, trap, blah, blah, whatever I said to you. I'm going to be late. I'll let you know what's going on. As soon as I got to the thing,

I called Danny. I'm at the train. I'm at the train. I'm at the train two stops away. If you were on the highway two stops away, what's two stops away on a highway? What does that mean? We figure you might want to stop for food a couple times.

You know what? That's actually a good. I've been known to stop one and twice. There is a couple of food stops. He had that? He had it? I was like, perfectly reused.

I made that joke before we started. Oh, you did? Yeah, but this is how you get bits. Yeah, yeah. You're right? Why would you ruin it? Why would you ruin it? I love how I do it.

He's doing it out too. I'm going to everybody to do it. Hey, a motherfucker. Can we make like just a new logo? Well, there's that quarterback that tried doing, that tried making that his thing when he was a backup for the New York Giants. Oh, yeah. He had Tommy DeVito.

He's actually on the Patriots now. I think he's the backup on the Patriots. Don't bring up the pants. It's tough. They suck this year. Yeah. Well, one does. One person does.

Well, I mean, did you see flipping him crying? I want to talk about it. I can't tell. I want to talk about it. It's crazy. I felt bad for the... Why would you feel bad for a grown man making millions, quarterback of a fucking dynasty team, fucking crying?

Don't cry. There's no fucking crying. You don't get to cry. There's no crying in football. There is crying in baseball. Do you see Justin Verlander's daughter come out to the mound? No. Oh, my God.

They took him out of the game for the last... She's 11. Answer? The question. No. They took him out of the Tigers, you know, his last game. I missed it. And the manager sent his daughter, and he saw his daughter run out of the dugout.

He's like, it was great. It was one of my favorite baseball. Can we see this? Can we see it? I love Justin Verlander. What about his load? Can we see it? Hey, fuck Kate Upton.

That's her. It leaked, and his load is enormous. You can't believe how much the load it is. You'd be angry when you say, can we see it. You're just setting yourself up to get angry. No, I think we can get there. I think Apco can pull it up. It'll be pretty good.

buckle. I think you should pull up pull up the load before you pull up the daughter. This spooge is crazy. I mean, that is the order. That's true. That's like a gallon of load.

Let's see. Ah, this is great, man. Hold on. Tiger's pitcher. Justin Verlander. So he's being taken out for life forever? Ever.

This is your last. This is his last, by the way. You knew it was the last game right now. Yes. Hall of Fame career, one of the best pictures of all time. Fucking unbelievable.

The guy was great. And this guy who came on Kate and Upton. Yes. This is, Kate Nupton's his wife Cate Upton, yeah, he's great. He's a badass. Big fat cock. Yeah, giant hog. Yeah.

Big juicy. I didn't know he's got a big fucking cock. They fapter. Fapening. Remember how great the fapening was? Yeah, it was the fapening. They leaked her phone all of her naked thing. But he's got a, his daughter throughout the first pitch.

That was really cute. I wasn't even attracted to fucking. Cat in a Severn. Yeah, yeah. I didn't even give a fuck about her. Until I saw her naked, then I was like, oh, yeah. I need. I became a big fan.

So she should thank those cyber racists. I don't know about that. Good. Sure about that? So that's it. What's happened? Do less volume. What's happened?

So it's the end of the game. The manager's about to take him off the mound. The end of the game. The end of his career. He came on to pitch his final game in Detroit. He came on, Kate up to six innings. Six innings. And then his daughter runs out to the mound.

And you can see him like, there's another angle where you see when he, realizes his daughter, he just loses it. It was really sweet. Right here. That's him trying to fight it, though? Yeah. He's the man. What if he's trying to fight more calm?

He goes, I'm building up. I'm building up. It's terrible. Yeah, he's the best man. Good for Justin Relander. This is how I'm going to retire. James better run on stage. Some little girl.

Get off stage, please. Did you guys see Chris Decefano throughout the first pitch? for the Mets. No, but that's always a risky thing because man, if it goes wrong, if you throw out of the first... No.

Wow. How many kids does he have? Two. And a stepson. Well, he's got... He's got two daughters. And you'll probably... And you too,

but he's coming out with his kids to throw out with his kids to throw at the first pitch and they get to come with him on the mound. That's fun. Yeah, but he ignored them. Like, he didn't even acknowledge...

He's high-fiving them? Do it suck? Yeah, you kind of hold... He's going to take a pitch from his daughter? She's like, flyer in. If Max, if James, if James,

him out, you'd fucking come out with them and high five. Yeah, you'd fucking acknowledge him. What was he like, hey, I don't know. I mean, it was like they weren't even his kids. He's like, babe, I don't know who these girls are. Then he hugged the fucking mascot, gave him a big, and the kids are just, you know what I mean? So you're saying he should have to just gone on the mound by the hell?

What is he going to do with him? He's fucking playing paddy cake with him. He's going to see the tape. You throw out there. Can we see it? I would say you fucking kind of walk out where you, you, you know, your kids. It's like, I don't even. He threw it to the mess.

No, no, no, no. You got to show the whole thing him walking out. Now, him. Is that his son? No, show the kids. He's showing the wrong. What a good looking boy. Guys, he handsome.

The whole clip. Good Lord. When they walk, go back. Do we play it again. You understand, as we know, we know doing this stuff, how to walk. But like civilians, especially kids, like, you kind of hold the hand. You go up. People hate, people hate when we say civilians.

My kids are civilian. He's not in the business. He's an army. He's in the army. My family is fucking not in the. business. You understand that when you have And I don't run my life on what people think. They're fucking civilians.

You should. You, no, if I did, I'd kill myself. You're crazy? So he brought his kids out. I should never do. I think it's, can we see it with? It's almost, this is what my argument is. He's out of his element.

That's a weird place to bring your kids when you're out of your own element. I don't say, if you bring your kids out, you kind of, we're going out together. We'll have them. I have a hard time breaking down this video. I'm not seeing it. I don't have no idea what happened. And I just was like, dude, like, Like, are those you kids, like, say, like, acknowledge it.

Yeah. Hey, these are my kids. Yeah, I don't know. Not even that. Hello. Hello. Hello. Welcome to the mound from the guy cold.

Maybe he was nervous. Maybe he was little. From history hiatus. Maybe he was nervous. This is a video that I can say. Well, there's actually him walking out with the kids from the dog out. You can find it. That's right.

He's white, but his wife is Spanish. Is that you? You're hugging? Yeah, that's me, dude. I'm fucking, he's, I'm riding around. That's a big head joke. Yeah. Took me a second.

Thank you. There he is. I said absolutely. And then somebody said, can we get some volume? Just some volume. There's no, there's nothing on the- No, there is volume. Yeah, I can find it.

Oh, Mr. Matt was on the podcast. Whatever. I just thought it was like, you know. Great smile. Great smile. Mr. Matt, coming back. And what a good dude. This has nothing to do with anything.

Yeah, dude. Why do we have volume on this? This isn't what we're talking about. Take me down. Take me down. Danny, take me down. Danny, take me down. Danny, take me down to the paradise city with the grass is green.

You're saying if you went out on the mound with James, you wouldn't even acknowledge like him, like not even look at it. From Legion of Skag Sand Story Wars. I'd punch him in the face. I'd like, it's Louis J. Gomez and a random boy. And a random child. A six-foot-tall tall child. Tall and gangly probably had to work out a person.

Because of it. James fucking walks around like a baby giraffe. Every step. Dude, I get it, bro. I had that a long time. It took me until late high school to thicken up. I got to say, I watched the whole season of tires over this weekend. Oh, yeah?

You're fucking great. Oh, thanks, dude. I mean, everybody, Stavros. They did an awesome job. It was a fucking, everybody killed it. I told Shane and McKeever that. When we were at the premiere, I was trying not to. to be, you know, you're sensitive about it

because it's your friends making something, but I was like, the jump from season two to season you guys fucking, because I got to watch it, I was like, you guys are awesome. It's the fucking best show on TV. I love it. They did awesome. You did great. You look fantastic. Thanks, dude. You're a good look in your eyes. Stop.

Wild. Stop. They're working on season four. I think they're going to start writing it. Now, your character is so weird in it. Yeah, I'm a white nationalist, retarded guy. Really? Yeah. Yeah. I got to end it.

But he doesn't want to be one. He just wants a regular friend. I just want a friend. I just want Cal to be my friend. And the guy that played my brother, Garrett, who's like... He's one of my favorite actors. He's character actor. What's the name?

Fucking everything. Yeah. Garrett, his last name of my... Right now he's in the new lantern. Yeah, he's in lanterns. He's really awesome. I drove him home because we were filming in Pennsylvania. I drove him back to New York and I just was like Chris Farley showing him.

Just being like on Deadwood, season two. Did you? And he's like, yeah. Who is he in no country? Can I see that? He's, uh, Tommy Lee Jones's deputy. Oh, I love that guy. Yeah, he's great.

He played my older brother in, uh, in tires. Yeah. What a fucking show. Couldn't stop watching it. They did great, man. And Shane's a fucking great actor. Everybody's a great ass. How about that Kyla volleyball episode?

Uh, with the volleyball team doing the reunion without her. I love Kyla. It was great. It was great. Here's a thing. I say something specific. He goes, uh, I watched the whole thing. I watched the whole thing.

I watched the whole thing. I did. Did I ever tell you? I just, and now, who's that character? Did I ever tell you when I first met Louis?

Didn't know him at all. He was just a guy. And I was a huge fan, of course. Yeah. And so I was talking and I was like, oh man, I'm a huge fan. I love Louis. It's my favorite show.

And then he does the thing that he does where he tells like a nine-minute story about a thing he created where they had Matt Blanc, Matt LeBlanc in an episode. They went to high school together. And he told this long story about how he got.

In Newton. In Newton. South or North, I don't know. South, I think. Anyways, the point is... People from Newton do. My in-laws are from Newton, and they'll let you know real quick

if it's North or South high school. So he went on this long thing, and he's like, I had to get LeBlanc, and we knew each other's in high school, blah, blah, blah. And he told the whole story, and the whole time I'm like, I don't remember this one.

But I had this thought of, I don't want to be like, what? I told him, I loved the show, so I don't want to not know about an episode. But at the same time, so I was going to be like, oh, it was awesome. At the last second I went,

I gotta tell you, I don't remember this episode. He goes, oh, no, it never aired because it was something. And my whole life would have been different. Do you remember in elementary school or middle school? Do you remember going to school and middle schooler and there was like a popular movie and you would lie and say you saw it,

but you only saw the trailer? And then whatever kid found out. I just did it with season three tires. But whatever kid finds out where they go, that didn't happen. That first time. I remember doing it with T2 and just two. and just doing the lines from the trailer.

And I was like, I'll be back. And they're like, what about when he's upside down, shooting the guy? And I was like, Osta la vista. How good was that? I did that with WrestleMania. I said, whatever, I went down like, just lie after lie. I got caught up in like multiple lies. I was like, yeah, I got every WrestleMania on tape, you know, five, six, seven.

But it was like seven hasn't happened yet. It's the next month. They were like, they don't actually. They're not live. I'm telling you right now. I was like they're not live. They actually pre-er them. I got the, I got a pre-year-old.

tape of WrestleMania 7. I'm sorry for if I've repeated myself with the story too many times, but it truly is the moment where I was like, I can no longer do this. Cabin bar, we were drinking on a Thursday night, Nick Vatterot, hilarious comic, did a comedy central... That's a man.

Did a comedy central half hour. He comes into the bar and me and Joe over there drinking and I see Vatteron. I go, Fatteron, that Comedy Central presents was awesome. He goes, comes out in three weeks, I go, yeah, that's awesome. And I was like, fuck! was the last time I ever tried doing that.

I had that with a comic. I'm even saying it makes my dick go in my body. I had that with Sarah's late night. It was a comic that we all know. And I'm not going to say their name. But he was like, dude, he's like,

your wife was fucking unbelievable. So polished. Like it was like, there was details. Sure. It was like so polished, so good. She looked great.

And the whole time, it hadn't, wow. It's like, oh, thank you, man. Which is so crazy because what's wrong with saying, I can't wait to watch that. Sure.

I'm looking forward to the. that. We're phonies. That's the problem. We? I don't do that. I just admitted to being a funny thing. We are phonies. Oh, okay. We are phonies. Hey folks. This episode of the Rags is brought to you by Ultra.

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Those were injectables. By the way, I had a conversation with my cousin about that whole thing, and he was like, your dad hated drugs and hated needles. He was just a down-and-out alcoholic. Look, we all believe it. And love it's like... Well, it says 1%. He could be the 1%.

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Sure. Why are you a f***? Because I love cock. I love cock and cums warm. Can I ask you two questions? Because the cum is warm and the cocks are hard. It's like a little poster. It's like a bedbath and beyond side.

Why am I gay? Because the cocks are hard and the cum is warm. There was one part at the end. the cops and everybody Yeah You try to prove you to watch all thing You have to You turn around

And there's a This shows a little Fucker spot in the back of the head I got a sunroof dog Yeah what Did that bug you though When you saw it No because I

I'd listen dude Without the old hair tits I'd be completely bald I'm fine with a little Fucking skin yaum Okay You could Still get that filled in if you want right

They're like Why I don't care Why would you do the front The front was what I cared about And then they're like You're still gonna lose your curls You book Yeah but don't do it

John Sina, get it done. Can we see Dan bald use AI and give us Dan Soter, like completely bald like fucking... It's going to do, here's what it's not going to do. It's not going to give you the actual shape of my head. It's going to give you an AI, what AI thinks is the shape of it. We don't know how many dense or nuggets are in his head. Yeah, that's what I mean.

You might have dents and nuggets. I got a fucked up head. So that's why the front was important to me back. You guys not know what Nugget is? He means like divots. Yeah, he knows what I mean. He talks Bobby. He speaks Bobby.

He speaks Bobby. I'll speak Bobby. Oh, all things, forms of candy. He goes, that, dude,

what is that? Caramel? I go, he means stomachache. It's a lexicon. A little nugget. A little nugget. A little nugget.

We got a little chocolate chip right there. What's funny is the first time I, after the hair transplant, realized I had it. I was on a podcast, and someone was like,

fry or soda, and it made me laugh. Oh, really? I was just like, fuck, yeah, I'll do that. Fuck, yeah, I'll do that. But if they make a pill that'll fill it in soon?

A pill, fill, fill, fill? because that's what they're about ball they're like the shits yeah where it's gonna all i'm never mind i don't also also i don't mind i don't mind having a coldest app what are you gonna do i i just say it doesn't matter so we're for halloween i think liegeanx is doing 80s pro wrestling not wrestlers but like adjacent like managers valets great so i am going to let my bowl grow in and i'm going to be mean jean okerland great oh i like that yes great yes yes yes yes yes yes yes

I didn't realize how much I look like mean Gian Okerlund with my hat off. Oh my God. And if you let the cul-de-sac come in, I ideally would hit. The transplant was to take me through my 40s into my 50s. But once I hit my 50s, brother, I'm kind of down having a cold- Yeah, but up front is so nice and full. Yeah. And your hair looks great on the film.

It's just thin. And then you turned around and the fucking sun was like, woo. You don't have good hair. What are you talking about? Is it like the texture? It's just, what do you mean? What do you mean? It's frizzy.

Yeah. What are you talking about? Like nappy. Jesus Christ. Why are you, I'm Mike Swores. He's got nappy ball hair. Frizzled,

fried. No, that's always that my hair's man. Yeah, it's not great. What the fuck, man. You're very funny. Great.

It's fine. You don't have to have perfect everything. What am I an asshole? We're pretending everyone here is perfect. No, this is a weird. There we go. Look at that.

That looks way better than what it would actually look like. Because my head doesn't look like that. That looks terrifying, actually. Oh, also what is up with the fucking see how there's so many AI programs that you could use

without having a giant watermark in the center but also I'm just saying like what are we even doing my head's higher than I don't know dude my head I've said done anything that you're happy with I'm done but that's crazy but we're done I'm bro I'm done

I accept it you just accept I accept who was it was that Paco it's been years I don't know about AI as much as you do wow they invented it they invented it that goes travest

This? Yeah, that's a fuck you. That's a polite. Fuck you. Hey, can we get more a dis? We get another round of starbuck. We all go anyways twice. We might as well just go down.

I'll get more. I'll get a medium same set up as before. I'm good, Paco. Damn. Paco, I'll do the same as what I had before. Buckle. Thanks, dude.

Do you still want a call? Do you want to? I'll just take a tall. I'll take a tall. I'll tell you what, though, not having hair is fucking great. Never worry about. Just jumping a pool.

go out. You look good bald. Yeah, but if I would look good bald, I would have to fuck. So what man is like, I can't go in the pool? Like, dude, when you start to lose it and you have to make it, you have to like fill in.

By the way, that was... I used to have to go out and, like, pray it wasn't windy or rainy. I was on dates like this, like, leaning into, like, people's... Bobby's wigs don't come off. Yeah, jump in the pool. You have a great head shape, and you look great, you would have looked great bald

from day one. You never needed to hold on to it. That's beautiful. I started to go bald when I was 19. Like, I just, that was it. When did you realize you were going bald at night? You go, I'm sorry. No, it's all right.

Well, he brought up something interesting. I know, I had a little, I was going to open up. Your mom? What? My mom, in the crib. Yeah. She used to roll me every half hour. What was that mean?

For your head to be good. The right shape. Yeah. Is that why my shit's all fucked up? They leave you in the crib and your head. It'll become flat on one side. They lift you forehead down. Oh, you're not.

They lift your face down. Oh, over, over. But my cries were, she goes, Hey, should we go roll the kid? Nah. He goes, Adam's sleep.

That's why he talked. Oh, my kid. Breathe, Bob. She goes, if this one gets big, we're going to have some problems. That's why you'll see babies in helmets sometimes. Yeah, they get his special helmets. They shaped the head.

You've ever seen a baby in a helmet? You're like, that's not a retard or baby. I always thought they're retarded. It's just their head has to be sure. And they have to keep changing the helmet size to form the, because the skull is soft at that point. And if you leave it on one side or... Like an invisible line for a baby.

Yeah. Yes, babies learn to roll over and move around. They naturally spend less time lying flat on their backs, which helps take pressure off the skull and allows the flat. But when you see a person with a flat back of their head, it means their parents were neglectful. Yeah, exactly. True.

And like, tummy time, the reason you do tummy time with the baby, is because they're supposed to build up their neck muscles. So that's why they put them on. So they can blow you when they turn off. I give my girlfriend timeby time. You have a girlfriend? Don't be an asshole. I just put hard posted on my Instagram.

I mean, a thousand comments. Fucking Jamaica, see the next one in three months. What a fucking dumb bitch. You have to tell her not to read him? No, she thinks it's funny. Oh, I have a question because you told you, we'll talk off. What? Can I show you flirty with the girl in this movie?

Yeah. Oh, okay. What, the old one? No, no, it's just random girls. And you're like, hey, baby, you're like... Well, no, no, no. I was like, there was some certain thing. Joe showed up at a time and during the...

Yeah, make sure you get these dates right. Listen, baby, I was different. I was different then. That was the old man. That was a year ago. He shows up, and then I was like, I didn't know if you, like, got, you know, female leaving my room. You got stuff that we'd be like,

ah, that's awesome. No, we didn't do any of that. So, but no, then I was like, because my chick, she's a normal chick. And she was like, look, she's like, I want to watch the movie. But, like, if you're like, having girls in your hotel room, like, I don't want to watch that. Opening scene is you in a hot hub.

What did I say about Skake Fest? I wish I could call it Pleasure Fest. Which is fucking a dude while eating at a little girls and boys. There he goes, oh, I take a little dallens, dally and sevalve, God's never. Actors. Come here, lover? Anyways, yeah, I started at Brooklyn.

So I was like, it's fine if it's in the movie. I was like, you don't have to change anything, but I want to warn her that she's going to have to watch me be a fucking pig. And Joe's like, no. You got anybody doing some crazy shit that you can't put in? I don't think so. Nothing? Well, everyone was doing stuff in front of the cameras.

It's not like we... You didn't catch anything? Yeah, it's not like we had fucking lenses and teddy bears. or anything, yeah, yeah. Hey, why do you have my hallway in my hotel room from that week? Yeah, it's all... They have Dan taking off his hair.

I go, all right, just put that up there. Like that Seamer Vader's putting up. I go, wow, New Orleans is humid. Sorry, guys, it delivers happening right at my cleaning ladies. He's asking me something. Mr. Lewis,

Mr. Lewis, the robes are here. The robes, the water skis are here, Mr. Lewis, for your backyard. And let me just say this. I dated one girl in the past year. We broke up after six months. Jesus Christ. And then the girl was with it before that was for three years I was with her.

You don't see me defending my pub hair like this. I just took it. Well, I was saying, people act like I have a new girlfriend every six months. The microphone out of the stand for the defense is fucking great. And like, you know, can I just talk to the people in the back? And love is hard to find. So when you pick it up, sometimes you don't want to put it down. What do you want me to say?

Do a little this. They grow up for that three years. You did Pinky Out, dude. This is a fucking new take on an old classic. I think because it's very rare. This is a shit. I think it's rare that you're like... That I marry somebody and make them my partner for life?

Yes. That didn't happen yet. No, it's rare that you meet a girl and you're like, oh, yeah, I've seen this girl. You're like, dude, you got to see this. This is crazy. We bought, we had backflips. We did...

Have you ever watched two hearts become one? And intertwine into a river of love and power? Love Love. I've been looking for love for 30 years. And you've been looking at all the wrong places. All the wrong places. All de Wong Paces. Pookin'nub.

Puckin'nub. Yeah, dude. Whatever. Louis should be forced to get a tattoo of the girl he's with. No, I've never, actually, that's not sure. This one, me and the girl that I did when I was 21, we got the same tattoo. Lobster Claus? Lobster Claus.

We'll never forget each other. If we're lobsters. Oh, red lobster. Our favorite. Oh, you're my little better bit. But before that, there was Kim. Karen Natalie. And I mean this, Kim was 10 years ago.

Was it really? Nine years ago? Yeah, she was at my wedding. You're that DMX song. Janiquot, Tunis. Karen. Karen was literally 12 years ago. Kim was nine years ago.

Karen was good in it too. What, your camping movie? No, no. Karen. Karen. Yeah, where she was like, he's sitting in my soak spot. No, she's hot. She's really hot.

She was great tires. No, she's having hot flashes. She's going through parameda buzz. Those are all 12 years ago. Karen was 12 years ago. Kim was nine years ago. How long you did Karen for? It was like right after me and Beatrice broke up.

And then she started threatening to tell Beatrice that I was doing cocaine. And then I was like, I'm going to take this away from you. Then I was like, Beatrice, I'm doing cocaine. Beatrice goes, okay. Got some. Cool. Whatever. What is this, the 90s?

Yeah. No, those were, you know, the problem is I live my life on podcast, so everyone's like, you know, but it's not like I fucking ask, the only girls that have lived with me were Kim and then Jenna. That's it. This girl's moving in Tuesday. Is she really? Yeah. That's great. There's only been two people that have ever, shouldn't be third. Well, this, I mean, you know, since me and Beatrice, brook?

Yeah. Are you excited or nervous? Well, you've lived with women before. It's a big jump It's a big jump to live with somebody I don't think you know You're not going to know if it's going to work out Unless you live with them

I completely agree You know. Yeah but you'll know quick Yeah You'll know very quick I said we talked about this before I don't think living together Is that big of a deal It's not that crazy

It is dating someone It's like you're going to house You ever stay at somebody's house Like go over there Like someone has a house on a leg And you stay there You're on your best behavior Sure

But then if you move in with them and you relax a little bit. All of a sudden, you start doing those things that you do, and they're like, hey, is that your sock? Yeah, it's the first time you're tired, or it's the first time you see them do something because they're tired and you go, you don't act like that, do you? But what I'm saying is, normally, conceivably,

you'd be pretty close with dating someone for a bit, feeling like you're both in love before you start living together. Yeah, of course. So whatever problems come from living together, we're going to come out either way. Sure. It's not like the problems are because now we live together. It just takes both sides.

That's true. I mean, no, because you make a good point. You don't know until you're in the fucking shit with it. Being with somebody all day, every day, it's like you can kind of like save up the best version of yourself for the Tuesday night for dinner or for like your

FaceTime conversation. When things are going fucking, you're not hiding any of that. Like me fucking freaking out because fucking, you know, whatever, five things go wrong at once. More water. I can't believe there's more water. I didn't take what up with the water. Oh, yeah.

Can I ask you question before the water? Has she seen you? freak out? Because you've been on your, yeah, have you been on your best behavior? What you mean? I've never freaked out.

What? Has she seen Lewis? Yeah, she's seen me. The Lou, but Lewis. A couple times. Lewis. She's seen you naked.

It's not, no, I love her. Like, I let her see my butt. Yeah. Like most other girls, dude, it takes a year for a girl to see my butt. Cheeks.

I back out of the room. Oh, yeah, you got to do that. Yeah, like an old sheriff. Well, I just assume I have a, I assume I have a ass shit swipe on my phone. All right. I'm going to get. going.

None of you make a move, now. At least with my skin, Yamika, she accepts me. No, literally, I'll take a girl a year to see my ass. I get it, though. I got a horrible ass is fucking horrible. My butt cheeks, when she goes, you have a nice butt, I go,

don't lie to me. You're lying, bitch, you lying fucking dirty bitch. I got a horrible. My butt sucks. It's my, my cheeks stink. I bet you got a nice butt. I have a pretty nice butt, but here's what I don't understand. I bet you got a sad butt. I have a butt that used to be somebody.

Yeah. I bet you I see Joe's amazing balls through like the fucking. I bet you've got a little round, tight balls. Yeah, dude. Yours, I could see a little bit of a collapse like a Malibu mudslide, but it's still holding on. Lewis and I are just pure fucking. I'm horrible.

It's flat, but big somehow? It's big and flat. I'm wide and flat. Oh, cool. So my hips are my prominent feature? Get out of you. I haven't asked like the Salmo River Parkway. Why?

You one mistake. You fucking cheeks. I bet you got a bouncy butt. Get a bouncy butt with nice balls that hanged out. It bugs me. Fucking legs. It bugs me. You got a decent wean.

I've seen it. The something I don't understand. How do girls' butts get so much better than guys' butts? I was just thinking of this yesterday because I ran a road race and these went. Maybe it's the pants because they're all in yoga pants and they boost them up. Someone on that road race was like fucking number 76 is got. I do an episode where we all wear yoga pants. Oh, no way.

No way. I'd rather shave my head ball. You can have to cut me out of them. Yeah. But women have nice asses, and I do squats and kettlebells and the whole thing. Not all women have a nice ass. Not all women, but terrible. You do squawks.

I do what now? Squawks. Because he's a bird. Oh, okay. No, no, no, no, no. No, no. You give it back. I got your way out at the end.

I reached for it. A little sound effect. That was great. So why do girls' butts look so good? Because they work on their butts specifically, and it's not, so you can make your body whatever you want. If you want to have a big, beautiful, fat, voluptuous. Please make this your next thing. Please make this your next thing, Joe.

I want you to have. But I run and do squat. No, that's not. You got to do the fucking, the thing where you lie on the, with the finger crush your waist, and you fucking hump up. And it's like they work. Show in the mirror. They have a whole butt day. It's not just like a leg day.

It's a whole butt day. Let's see what this says, because I, you know, science. I just order three badees. Badee, mate. Women tend to have rounder and more prominent backsides than men because of biological difference in how hormones distribute body fat. They have hips and, yeah, because they have estrogen. I got hip, I got no ass. Look at that.

Primary female hormone tells the body to store extra fat on the hips and thighs. Yeah, dude. That's why. It's just back to hole. Is it? It just goes back to the knee. Yeah, I got fucking no cheeks. Can I see it?

Stand up. You want to see a picture of my butt? I'll show you guys a picture of my butt. Naked? Oh, look at this, too. The son's around. The primary male hormone stops fat from storing in their lower body and instead pushes fat storage

towards the abdomen and stomach. What about the head? For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing. The whole damn thing for extra. What? That's the real reason. Everything he said was bull. He's trying to find a picture of his butt.

I'm going to show you guys a picture of my butt when I was in shape. This is the best shape I've ever been in. And this is how horrible my butt is. Dude, it's so bad. Let's a peculiar to your dick, too. Let me see. Don't get it on camera. Okay.

Wow. Oh, man, that is a bad butt. You know what's funny? Is the top of your ass cheeks are like when chicks have that weird circular thing before their kids? It looks like somebody was making a, like, a statue, but they just started on the ass. They go, I haven't had time to fucking smooth that out. I don't know how this butt's going to look. Yeah.

No, dude, bad butt. Bad butt. I bet you had a great butt, though. Sexy Bobby, 90s? I don't know. But I think because... I had an all right ass. It doesn't work.

I mean, my ass is... I looked at my ass today in the mirror. And I was not happy. Yeah, because it has, like, a thing up the top. But then it goes to another place. I hate it. And then it's got a little things... Have you dated girls where they've never seen your...

You want to see my ass real quick? No. Yeah. I do. I don't. I'll see it. That's two to one. You edit on camera?

No, not here. No, just go to the corner. No, go over on the other room. I'll show you my butt. We can edit it out. Just go off camera and show us your butt. I don't want it on film. I don't trust.

No, we're not going to film. You go there. Yeah, hit a safe angle. Is there a safe angle in here? We're not going to, they're not going to demon. They're not posting your ass. You're not, you slut. I'm trying to fucking get me to do you.

Let me see it. Scott, I'll give you Skankfest tickets. He's performing. Let me tell you what happened. Well, Bobby gives his butt out. what happened with my next water problem. So. What the fuck was that?

That was like three and one. That's me. Yeah. His farted about his ass. I just farted. I held in my fart on broad. Your butt was like, fuck you, dude.

I'm not doing this work for you. Dougie, I said, yeah. What's going on, Joe? You got a delivery happening for your cleaning lady? No, I'm checking to see how my boy is. He got out of school today. First year of school? Marty.

Yeah. Yeah. Indigarten? No, he's in kindergarten. He's in 3K. He's fucking, he's two years old. Relax, dude. I don't fucking keep tabs on fucking Marty.

What's the story? It's not much of a story. I fucking, my... Let's spend some time on it then. There's just another water problem. Another plumbing thing. My cleaning lady was doing laundry. We thought it was done.

But the washing machine was like, oh, there's an issue with your drainage. And we didn't see that. So it just opens it up. Water just spills out all under the gym. How to have them come in. It's a... I don't even know what they have to do.

The job is either going to cost me $7,500, $1,500, or $23,000. And I was like, why would I choose the $23,000 one? And they were like, that's an option. I was like, I'm going to go with the $12,000. What do you get with that? Do you get a whole new house? I don't know what it is, dude. Did you...

Was this house built on an ancient burial ground? Why is it seeping through the walls? A fucking a whale cemetery in the ocean. Oh, no, that's where we used to fish. That's where all the big... hardest game were caught. Yeah. No, it was just fucking, no, the there was a, the pipe, because

the house was built in 1956, the pipe, they put a fucking camera in there. They said, when it actually empties out into the sewer, it has like that much. So it was, it got a clog, so they'd unclog it. But they're like, you're going to deal with this again, so you have to fix it. You have to put a new pipe and four-inch pipe all the way to the... I got a four-inch pipe in my pants.

Soft. Water problems are worse. It's fucking crazy. It's never ending. Never ending. Just like you fix it. and then they're like, hey, by the way, guess what? Your addicts flooded. Everything's a $20,000 problem.

Everything in a house. It's like, Shazep, that's $20,000. Another $20,000. It's crazy. Don't buy a house. Rent. Do you have water problems? I don't, but I made sure that I didn't have water problems.

My old house I did, but I didn't have a basement. He has a furnished space. I had a crawl space, but I had to put a sump pump in there, and then I had put French drains all around the back. And, but still, when it rained, it's poured. Water got down. That's the truth. Yeah, but you can't

It's literally my life I never went down there So it would drain into the sum pump And shoot it out the side of the house Yeah, when we were living in Hoboken Hoboken floods so easily Jersey is Jersey is crazy

What is the floodiest state In the end of the floodiest? The flottiest look that up specifically What's the dumbiest person in this room? Mississippi or Alabama Louisiana Oh yeah No Florida is built on

New Jersey is built on Jersey is built on there's Dude, Jersey's crazy. Dude, but Hoboken, when I was living there, if I were like, if it was raining it, I'd come back from doing spots, they'd be like, you can't go down that road. It's completely flooded. And you're like, it was... Sawmill. It didn't even fucking rain that about it.

I thought the sawmill was perfect. Sawmill. Well, listen, one thing goes wrong. Floodiest state. Florida. Do you mean the cloudiest state? Florida. That's hilarious. Florida's built on all marshland. They just put sand down. No one in Florida has a basement. Where does New Jersey rank amongst the floodiest?

Texas highest fatalities. What? Central Texas Joe's gonna drown Flash blood alley Water can't get into your tiny mouth Yeah he goes He's the only person

Why you can't even fix that one? I know I was gonna say he's Well the problem with that joke is You don't worry about a flood Because it gets in your mouth Well if you drown Is this why you have water

Willis goes I'll drink the water Pull me down I'll slurp it up Now I understand New Jersey is first of the nation For number one Flood Damage density

Brother Number one flood damage density What does that mean? should have googled it. Number one in coastal flooding threat. Because you're not even the other coast. Number two for flood prone development. None of these words make sense.

Number two for FEMA disaster. Because they live on the coast. You live in central Jersey. There's no... I don't live in central Jersey. They live in North Jersey. There's water everywhere. Yes, there is.

There's no ocean. The Hudson River, I can see it from my house. It doesn't flood into the streets. New Jersey is the densest populated state. You have... New Jersey is the most dense people. What happens is I've seen this. All the other, the people over here,

their backyard drains into your backyard. It's not the backyard. I saw it. It's coming from the lady's house. It's not the backyard. It's when they dug up my ground, you can see that my house is basically floating. No way.

Dude, when they dug these French drains, they looked, they were like, look at this. I was like, what's going on? They were like, yeah, that's just all always underneath your house. It's crazy. Oh, you have, yeah. What is that? It's just a lot.

It's built on water. It's like a, yeah, go ahead. You ever notice, fucking, like, in the curb, there's, like, a hole and then there's water coming out of it. Sure. That, that's, I didn't notice this until, like, I had this happen. Then I drove around my neighborhood, and I realized that there's always water being poured out of every home in the entire fucking neighborhood, man.

That's fucking crazy. Yeah, my old, but now I have, all the, all the houses have the, they had, the, they had, they don't have basements because they built it and the water comes in. Yeah. But I haven't dealt with flooding since they waterproofed everything. Shout out to Waterproof Central Whatever the waterproofing company was

So what was the washing machine thing They just spilled out And I had to fucking have them come and fix it Now they're trying to charge me Between $7,000 and $23,000 They go depending on how you act This could be a $7,000 problem Could be a $30,000

Yeah, it's crazy It's the worst Having a furnished basement And water problems Because every time it rains It's fucking like Ugh, what the fuck Because his basement's the shit

His gym Everything's down It's fucking great down there. Is there a mural of you painted on the wall? No, but I was. I'd be sick. Half rattlesnake, half man. That was just all dripping wet. Yeah. No, I have a chalkboard

to draw my workouts on. Oh, yeah, dude. The snake pit. The snake pit. And draw the line of the water. Oh, it only got this high. You ever see the ones when the storms come, and it's just the water's on the backdoor glass? And they're like, oh, it's going to break, and then it just breaks.

Did you see the one where they, where the restaurant filled the restaurant with water? that wasn't the flood water, so it somehow, like, stop the windows from being broken. They were like, fuck it, just put clean water in here, and we'll fill it up to the level

that the flood was. So it just keeps the pressure. So it kept the pressure, and it didn't fucking... They go, more. We didn't think this through. But when I first,

because at first I was like, this is so stupid, and I was like, oh, that's smart because it doesn't let it break and all that shit come in. You just got to clean the... It's like if you drive into the water,

you're supposed to get the, roll the windows. down until the car fills up, then you can swim out. There you go. Yeah, otherwise the... People try to swim up and they're like, oh my God, because it's just pouring in. You go, as the water was coming in, you go, it's the good idea that your list told me.

I was supposed to nobody has like those things anymore. It's done. You got to get the window puncher thing in your glove compartment. I saw a guy do that to another car we were driving up to Boston one time. We're on the West Side Highway, and there was like traffic and these guys were like fighting, and the guy got out with one of those punchers

and just fucking hit the dude's back window and then got in his car and drove off. You know, you can take a spark plug, you know the ceramic white stuff, crack that up, and just throw it out of window and it smashes the window. Really? Yeah.

This feels like an eighth grade bus stop. Swear to God. That's how the kids... Oh, I'm going to carry this the rest of my life, and it's going to be true. The kids who break into cars, they just smash the ceramic from a spark plug. You don't even hear it.

They just go bang, and it smashes it. And we were at Max's baseball game and eight cars. We were all right there. It's time. We came out. Fucking awesome. And then they, not this town.

That was the old town with the water problems. Not where I live. You have it. That's why we moved. He goes, no, the roving gangs aren't as bad in the fall. It's more of a springtime thing where they're doing initiations. There's no flooding in heaven, dude. Yeah, they, sorry, the clouds can't get bogged down with water.

Wet cotton candy. That sucks, dude. Yeah, see, watch. Watch. Little piece of the thing. Watch. This is Bobby's YouTube. Watch, ready?

Here I go. See? No. Didn't work. There you go. Oh. Works. And what is it from a spark plug?

I don't know the fucking, it's the spark plug. It pulls back. The white stuff. The ceramic from the spark plug. You can just punch out a window. Yeah, but that you don't even hear it. Thank you. Just cracks in the United States, Park.

When kids steal shit out of cars, that's what they use. Thank you, Joe. That is smart, though, because you just walk by and go. It's a weird thing. I don't know why that works. You keep one of those in your glovy. Just while the water's coming in. Oh.

It only works on the outside It's work on the inside Oh, son of a bitch we're gonna die It just bounces and hits you in the eye Oh, he also rips through islands Ah, I can see everything Even though I'm closing my eye You guys want to do some plugs?

I'll plug your ass Plug it up Plug that gross ass here Can I go first because I got a piss? Please. I will be at Wise Guys in Salt Lake City November 5th through the 7th

And then I will be at Comedy at the Carlson, December 10th through the 12th, Dan Soder.com for tickets. Listen to Soter to the podcast and at Punch Up Live. Dot Dan Soder, join my email list. Thank you very much. Did you maybe just edit out the comedy of the Carlson plug until my weekend's done this weekend? Because they can't get buried by Dan Soder anymore. Can you actually just edit out Dan's plugs until we fill up our... It's crazy. Fuck you guys.

Did it's all that eight shows at fucking Portland. Stop. And he's still plugging it every week. I'm like, you were plugging it every week. We added a late show. What do you want to do? It was sold out. It was sold out a month in advance.

Isn't it to know you when they post? Sold out, sold out, sold out? It's crazy. Don't even fucking post it. I didn't. They did. Post his shit. Yeah, post my shit.

Joe. Joe. Joe? Well, Tampa's already passed, I think. Right? So, yes. Philadelphia, Helium, October 22nd through the 24th. Also, Dan,

Bulger, my buddy is doing a special at Deep Cuts on Sunday, October 11th, I think that is. Not Columbus Day, but the Sunday. There's still tickets available for that. I'll be there. Come to that. And then Raleigh, Good Nights, November 5th, 6th, and 7th, and the port

in Baltimore, November 19, 20, 21. Come on out. Hell yeah. Come see me on the road. Last weekend was pretty incredible, guys. Thank you for coming out, the comedy of the Carlson, thank God you didn't hear about Dan's

plugs first, but come see me. October 22nd, 23rd, 24th, Witsen Comedy Lounge, North Charleston, South Carolina. Mothership has already sold out for StoryWords, but we do have some tickets for the comedy store, Los Angeles. We're doing Story Wars with a bunch of great guests on November 4th and 5th.

So grab those tickets. Skankfest is happening. We're doing two reg shows, I believe, at Skankfest. So make sure you guys get those tickets at Skankfest.com. Shout out to your creative for making it all possible. Right after that, Poughkeepsie, New York, Lafted Up Comedy Club November 22nd and the New Year's Eve. I'll be in Side Splitters Tampa, which is super exciting.

Oh, you know what I should say? October 10th. We're doing a make-up date for Belmore, Long Island. I couldn't do it because of the hurricane or the Northeaster. Go to my website, Lewisofskanks.com, grab tickets for all those shows. Sign up from a mailing list. I get exclusive information about all the things at Gastis General and Skank Fest and giveaways and all that fun stuff.

And buy my book Knives and Spoons. My publishing company has not gotten back to me, so who knows if the audio book's ever coming out, but you can get the regular version. So go do that. What's up, everybody? Go to punchup. Live slash Robert Kelly for all my tickets and tour dates. My special is up there live from the Village Underground is up there for free too.

You can watch that and make sure I'm going to be in Boston, October 16th and the 17th at Laugh, Boston. And then I'm going to go to, of course, I got my special happening. December 12th, filming my special at Uptown Theater in Rhode Island. make sure you get tickets. Go to punchup. Dot Live slash Robert Kelly. You can buy the tickets right there, Uptown pvd.com

to get your tickets to be at my special. Hope you guys come to that. And then I got a bunch of other dates, of course. When does this come out? This week? Next week. All right, fuck that.

So just go there. And my special killbox is on YouTube. com slash Robert Kelly comedy if you want to watch that for Lugats. And that's it. Thanks, guys. and we're back what's up oh I forgot to pee

shit it's right go pee no hold it it's fine we have the the producers have topics producers have topics for they each bring a topic every week

we had this idea months ago we've been doing this for years we see Bobby's butt let's say yeah yeah I do let's see oh yeah

it's not so bad it's not so bad it's just like it looks like they gave you the wrong book but for the wrong body. It's just sure.

I think if you put your butt on Lewis, it'd be great. I like the butt. That, it's a flat butt. I'd come on your butt. That's a really, for fun. It's really nice of you.

Yeah. All right, gentlemen, let's take a quick moment and thank Mitt Mobile for being a longtime supporter of the regs. Look, I was spending, I mean,

my son's phone, my son's mother's phone, my other girl's phone. What is the most Puerto Rican phone read of all times? I mean, I mean, I got my abuela, my abuela's neighbor.

My cousin's cousin. My cousin's cousin. I got my barber. I got everybody on my phone plan. It's a crazy man. Keonda, what's going on? It was a wild amount of phone lines that I was paying for. I mean, literally, nearly $1,000 a month with all the phone lines that I was paying for.

I switched everybody to Mitt Mobile. Oh, baby. $15 a month. Don't you, 15 bucks a month. It's genuinely the best deal. It's their summer sale and they're still running it right now. The fastest reliable coverage on the nation's largest 5G network. Love it, dude. Great. They have all the phones you want. If you want an iPhone,

an Android, whatever it is, you're good to go. You sign up with Mint Mobile. You can bring your current phone number and your current phone over to Mitt. There's no long-term contracts or hassle. I'm not a long-term contract guy. I'm like a handshake guy. And this is the closest thing you can get for a handshake with a phone deal. It's easy. Remember back in the day when you get affordable, like if you got like affordable cell phone coverage, you always had to get a phone that you're like, is this even a real phone? Yeah. What is this?

I don't, they knew your coverage. It would chirp. It was a walkie to me. I almost said the thing that was at the mall where you're like, I don't want that. What are we on? We're not a sleepover. We're adults. But with Mint Mobile, you can bring your own phone.

So you got all the comfort of your old phone with a new plan, 15 bucks a month. To get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile. com slash regs with a Z. Mintmobile.com slash regs with a Z. Let's tell them the rest. Cut your wireless bill. to 15 bucks a month at Mottnobo.com slash regs. R-A-G-Z.

That's it. There is no catch. Up front payment of $45 for three months required, $90 for six months, or $180 for 12 months. Plan required $15 per month equivalent. Sounds like a catch, by the way. Taxes and fees extra initial plan term, only greater than 50 gigabytes may slow,

which network is, when network is busy, includes up to 20 gigabyte hotspot, capable devices required, availability, speed, and coverage varies. See, bentbubble.com, for details. Ooh, in the cloud. No, we're talking at the Indy Cloud. Is there a knock at your door?

Is it a vampire? A zombie? No, it's the IndeCloud delivery guy. It's the Hatch. It's the Monster Hash. The monster Hash. I'm scared of the basement hatch. The Monster Hash.

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That's c0.com and use the code regs, R-E-Z, for 30% off your first subscription order. That's insane. 30% off. It's fucking wild, right? Once again, that's indecloud.co, code regs. your subscription ships regularly and discreetly with free gifts and free

shipping on qualifying orders. And after you order, fill out the survey and let them know that the reg sent you. Enjoy responsibly. And thank you, into cloud. All right. Where were we? What topic do you guys have? Who wants to go first? I'll go first. How many punches

do you think it would take for you to knock out everybody in this room? Oh, who's the, by per punch limit? Wait, but by knockout, do you mean like, sleep them? Or the person's like, fuck off? Get out of here. Actually, put them out. Here's the thing. I will say, my big

head, you get under my chin. One or two, my... No, I think you break your head, you shatter your hand on that fucking shit, dude. I don't know. It's like punching a fucking oak tree. You can't hit his button. Yeah, Joe's got no button. He's got no button. So You're just hitting him in the head.

You're getting clunks on the side of the head. You're fucking just mushing his head. I'd just slip you, Doug. I feel like, well, I feel like you could take a solid 10 to 15 shots before. I've never been knocked out. I've never been knocked out either. If you get knocked out at Skank Fest,

but I get punched in the face every week. This is the clip to put, if you get knocked out, if you, if you get knocked out. That ain't happening. That ain't happening. I'll bet,

I'll give it. everyone odds on that fight, heavy odds. So we each supposed to go through to say each person? Bobby, how many punches do you, who do you think? So, yeah, so let's say like, how many punches, Bobby, how many punches would it take for you to knock out every single person in this room? So you got to, hands behind their back, Joe, you get to punch Joe to list directly in the mouth.

I got it. How many punches? Joe, by the way, Bobby's got power. One. Bobby hits hard. He's solid. He's like a, he's built big. Like a fire hydrant.

Yeah. Joe won. Dan, hmm, he's got a fucking big head. That could be a detriment. Yeah. I think,

I think Dan, I say Dan won. I wouldn't be surprised by that. I say Dan won. Hit me fucking hard. And the hands are behind the back. They're just taking the punch. Taking the punch.

Now, if I'm taking the punch up here on the head. If you fuck up and hit the wrongs, you'll hurt you. I'm going to break your hand. Yeah. But you hit me under the chin? Yeah.

Are you wearing a glove? Is the hitter wearing a glove? It's great question. Wrapped hands. Paco. Let's say MMA glove. MMA glove. Okay.

That's more than one. It's going to be more than one. The gloves protecting the puncher. Sure. Yeah, the glove is... Protecting the puncher, but it's also protecting you a little bit, right? Or is it more power? You're going to be able to hit harder.

You could break your hand without a glove. Like just bare knuckle. Those bare knuckle guys break their hands every fight. They're fucking crushing their hands. So an MMA glove, a wrap and an MMA glove is going to make your fists pretty fucking hard. That's going to be the hardest you're going to be able to punch somebody. Can I dip it in honey and glass?

He's just... Dad, this is great. Why didn't you get this more honey? Oh, God, I ate all the nails. I didn't know the nails. We're going to be so good with the honey. If I was a kickboxer, I would have been like... I feel like...

Tom Pogo's. A lot of this is obviously power and technique, but a lot of it, too, is a bit of luck. You hit a certain spot. I mean, just off here, you're going to fucking break someone's jaw, but it might not knock them out. And the other thing is, it almost feels like

seasickness. You can't help. People like, if someone gets seasickness, which I never have so you don't think you can't help that people like this fucking guy you're like

this person can't help it I've been so seasick I just hidden a girl's bathroom on a whale boat just fucking it was a regular boat for Bobby she goes

I don't know it's just a boat why do you keep calling it a whale boat it's just a boat I refuse to laugh at fat jokes anymore Robert

because I am I am working hard but you used to be a fucking whale I refuse to laugh at these jokes are we talking about me slopping around down in the hole?

I think he probably I caught the tuninette. Hey, what the fuck? I think Lewis would be the hardest. I think Lewis would probably I agree on that. You'd have to hit him. You'd have to hit him a couple times.

So you get frustrated or you go, son of a bitch. You'd have to hit him one, two, and probably take three. One. But then Lewis would be like, two, three. Four punches to knock out a prodig. We were doing a lullipop owl.

No, but he turned into a very, Vampire. Yeah, he got it too. Vampire Al was bad. He's just not perfect as all. It's Halloween season. Fucking idiots. Vampire owls are huge.

Also, the Tootsy Popper commercial. Come on. It's fucking 1950s. That was the 60s. I would say Lewis 3, you won. You won. Yeah. I agree with that.

I think Joe is more than one. I think Joe. Also, Joe is a lot tougher than he, than people think. It would be harder to hit his bottom of his chin. This is what I mean is toughness only goes so far. If you're just blindsiding, no hands punching a person. Now, if we were fighting, if you and I were going to go in the ring, I'm not saying I would beat you.

But I would say it would take you a lot of time. You said you're challenging Bobby Kelly. If he challenged his game fest, you would watch out. You'd fight you out. We don't weigh the same. What do you weigh? I weigh 1.2.30. Why the fuck would you do that?

I weigh like 193. Bobby's five foot three. Yeah, you'd have to get like Connor McGregor sick to fight Joe. Remember when Connor did that? But if I'm fighting back, it's going to be hard to, probably difficult to knock me out. Not for you, Lewis, but for Bob or Dan. But if I'm just standing there, I would, I would bet money that Bobby could knock me out. I think Joe hit him in the stomach would fuck him up worse than hitting him in the face.

No, the body shot's the worst. If you could land a fucking liver shot on somebody, it is. Your body shuts down. Bernard Hopkins, Oscar De La Jolla. He makes a noise that you go like... I trained with both Mickey Gall and Michael Bisping, and both of them called the shot. They were like...

And then fucking boom. Mickey kicked me in the liver. Like, it shut my body down for a full minute and a half. He was going about like rolling around on the ground. And Bisping. Then Mickey just won, too, right? Mickey just won a... No, you're supposed to fight Saturday.

He was pulled out of the fight. Oh, like, congratulations, but getting pulled out and not getting hurt. You had a... No, I mean, congratulations. Did some sort of medical thing. live to fight another day. Is you all right? I text him, you know.

Oh, fuck. Also, if we're punching, like, guy standing there with his arms behind his bank, if the first punch doesn't knock him out, there can't be a second punt. It's basically fucking annihilated. That's it. Nobody's like, all right, here we go.

If he falls down, he's still, he's like, I'm not knocked out. You're going to top of it. But it's, I imagine. He's sitting teeth out. Yeah. It depends to if you've been knocked out. I've been knocked out.

I've been knocked out cold. Who did you get knocked out by? The first time I got knocked out cold I was with this chick in Quincy She knocked you out, you pussy And uh, headlights came behind me And she was like, oh shit And it was her boyfriend

Who she was still dating apparently It's the plot of Zodiac I said uh I go I go I go I'll talk to him Like an idiot Yeah

And I just open I remember opening the door And then I woke up in the hospital Four hours later Wow Apparently he was right there And as soon as I turned He just went whack

I went out and they just started kicking me in the fucking guys one guy where you say they he's uh women he's trans he's trans he goes he's not binary god louis i woke up hey fuck you i'm not a fucking guy or a girl four hours later and my face was just blown

because he just she had to pull him off me just kept kicking me in the face come on he's dead enough he's gay baby stop dead and then what's really sucked is that I had a Honda H Hyundai Hatchback Just got it

Manual And she had to drive me To the hospital Didn't know how to drive manual Fucked up all my gears Just Oh she drove you too She left him

He fucking left Had to throw me in the car If I was her I would have started Sucking him off It's like how hot is that She goes You just beat the shit out of him

Oh it sucked I had to go back to her She lived with her grandmother And she put me in her grandmother's room So I was just this old lady Is this the guy that got knocked out? She goes, how are you? I heard you got your headstorm.

Are you the gay boy? The nice kid storm? She was Puerto Rican. She goes, puppy. You couldn't defend yourself? Mira, you can't take my daughter? Yeah, it sucked. Damn.

What's the second time? What's the second time you're knocked out? No, that was a white Quincy dude. I think Bobby has the power to knock Lewis out with one. I've not defending yourself. I've knocked people out, but it's, I mean. People get knocked out by teenagers in the knockout game.

If you're not expecting, not defending yourself. Those are old pussy. Nah, that's not true. I've knocked a guy out in a fight. Yeah, I mean, I think if Bobby fucking runs up, like one of those arcade machines punches you in the fucking chin. It all matters where you hit him.

Good. Hold on. If they're not fucking, if they're not, you knock the guy, like, if they're talking, yeah. Yeah. Knocked him out.

Yeah, because he was talking shit to me. I mean, I just hit him. Yeah, dude, there's a tournament to the death. It was called Mortal Kombat. I knocked. He's either knock him out or I'm going to fucking. Showland knocked him out, fell into spikes. We were working.

I fucking kicked him into the fucking spikes. We were working at Grossman's Bagan Outlet. And I was technically his superior. And I was trying to tell him shit. We went to school together. We were in our class together. And he was kind of a big bully, dude. And he was fucking with me.

I was like, dude, you got to do this and that. He's like, go do this. And I was like, come on, dude. He was hilarious. Can you stop? This guy ruled. And I was like, dude, just shut the fuck up. What we just kept doing.

I was there. I finally was like, dude, shut the fuck. fuck up stop and he's like and he smacked me in the back of the head. Damn. And I just turned around and fucking knocked him out. Boom. That would have been Joe List. And what'd you do? I felt I almost started crying. I felt terrible.

Because he was just like, you cry so hard if you knocked us out in one punch? You knock me, Joe and you feel bad. I did that one time. I think I told the story. I threw an old man in the street and he went flying and his glasses went flying on me. It was like, oh my God. Yeah, you just feel bad. I was like defending our honor

and then he went flying and I was like, oh, Jesus. gonna help you with that. And he was like, it wasn't even like, I'm tough. It was like an old guy drunkenly walking towards us and I just chucked him.

I got fucked up a couple times. But I, but there's a million videos of even tough guys or those slap fights. A defenseless person standing getting hit by somebody as hard as they can. I got to knock them out a lot. I got knocked out with a head butt.

Well, it sucks. More than I'm fit. I was wearing cowboy boots too on ice. It was in the winter. This fucking kid just came up and hit me under. And I just fucking just went, I saw stars and then I tore the ligaments off my ankle because I was slipped my cowboy boat slipped

Jesus and I he was just I just woke up he was punching me in the face and my friend was just going He's had enough dude he's had enough and I was like I've had enough Oh my God I had myself to the hospital it was terrible Lewis you don't think Bobby has the power in his arm and shoulder to knock you out if you're just Standing there yeah but he's taking punches and he yeah this whole life is a punch probably not Not like just though I don't know I don't think so I think if we I mean, technically, technically, yeah. I mean, you could technically knock anybody out,

but probably not. You know what the worst thing is? Is when you hit somebody and they don't, and it doesn't work, and they just turn to you. Like, Michael Myers. I was going to spar with Jason Ellis. I was supposed to fight him. We sparred a bunch recently, and you'd hit him,

like, literally give him a real good one. And he's like, bah! Yeah, that's the worst. He starts laughing like a lunatic. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to fucking do this anymore. That's a great Ali Foreman

When he's doing the rope of dope And Ali goes Is that all you got? George Forman is that all you got? And Foreman goes Yeah, I got to tell you I think that's about it. This is what I got.

Yeah, I'm hitting you with everything. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I just I get punched in the face a decent amount And I've never been like, I never even knocked down in Sponging. But isn't there a thing though When your button gets like,

I think I would be easier to knock up Because my button's been pushed. Your older. button is into my ugly butt though. Nobody's punching his butt hole. No thanks, dude. Just let him stay away. He bought his button. Yeah, it's like Chuck Liddell. His chin went when he got older.

I mean, actually, I shouldn't say I've never been knocked out. I got knocked out in high school or middle school. Not in a fight, though. We're playing like a flag tag. Tag? Come on a kid's butt. Slap it. Go, you're it.

Two fiss of ribbons. You're it. So we had to like, it was like tag, but you had to grab the tag out of their back pocket. Out of their bums? Flag football? No, it was flag tag. A flag tag. It was tag.

It was tag, but instead of tag in each other, you grab the. So as I was running toward the wall. We got the most ribbons. Got this. A kid tried to grab, like, a kid tried to grab it, but he like pushed my back as I was running toward the wall. Like, the wall was base. And I fucking, like, fucking spears with my head. Oh, you go paralyzed.

Doggy, I literally spit on the wall. fell flat on the ground. I just woke up in the nurse's office. I was like, what? They were freaking out for a while. Lewis, get up! I mean, it was a real deal. Lewis, get up! Getting knocked out from the top, getting hit your top of your head is bad. Dude, I just remember, like, a missile

shooting into the wall, and then none of you guys played football, right? Like, I played for one year until my mom had to buy me the pads. She was like, for this just not happening. I mean, it is, yeah, it is ridiculous. I also didn't want to do it. I was like, please don't buy it. When you get into a fight, though, you're supposed to,

kind of grind your teeth because if your mouth is open you'll get knocked out easier, correct? If you're like talking or your mouth is open I'm asking this, you get knocked out easier. You're knocked out easier if your mouth's open.

So, I mean, I don't know. So you're never going to get knocked out. He's impossible. He's impossible to knock out. I have a question. Joe, you think that Bobby could knock Lewis out in one hit. Have you seen

Bobby punch? Like, does he have good form? I think Lewis has. Good follow-out. Lewis has. I've seen Bobby punch. No, Bobby's just got, he's naturally got power. He's like, if he's like solid,

if he try to like fucking move him. Well, natural, but he also works out. I mean, let's not dismiss the amount that man's doing the gym. That's crazy. He's working on his fitness. And working out, like literally him being on a fucking elliptical. I don't have an elliptical.

He obviously lifts weights. Why are you being so cutting? Lifting weights isn't doing anything for your punching power really. In fact, it'll impede your punching power. But I bought, too. Range of motion. You don't box. I do.

I don't box. Like you? but I hit the bag. I mean, I think we're really seeing the fight that we need to see. I hit the bag. I mean, is it on the internet? Is it from songs that most of us love? Yeah, I hit the bag.

Plus, I used to go boxing with Keith and... Marina and Amy Schumer. All these... They're on mini trams. I've said this before. He only names the dude that went, but I went once. It was all women. It was a fucking cardio boxing class.

Let me tell you something right now. If you play Maroon 5 payphone, I'll fuck it. you all on. That'd be fun. It's Skankfest. If you fought Lewis and we started playing the song. Dude, anyone talks shit. I'll tie bow their ass. Yeah, dude, Billy Blanks taught me. I think Salty Blackflower is covering

a Queens of the Stone Age song. What song? I'd have to look and see. Look and see. I want to fucking know. I want to know what you're covering. Who told you that? Is it no one knows or go with the flow? I'll tell you right now. Doesn't it matter, too, Lewis?

How big your hands are? Duke God is on the radio. Then we'll talk. Lewis, doesn't matter how big your hands? Yeah, the hand and wrist size helps a lot. Yeah, I got thin wrists, so I ain't knocking no one out. I got the thinest wrists. Because I went to the boxing museum up in upstate New York, and they have...

Sick. They have a cast of all the fighters' fists. That's sick. And the bigger... The lost art of keeping the secrets. Oh, yes, really? Lost Art of keeping the secrets one of the best one they want to learn. Oh, my God.

That's one they want to learn. Really? I just got turned on by that. Off-rated art? I fucking do it, dude. Great. Great. Well, I told them you were going to come watch.

And my buddy James Macon was like, dude, we got a cover queen's at the sonar. I love it. Lost Army. Yes, that's sick. I'm very excited for that. But you said all the casts? Who are the biggest cast? Thank you.

Thank you. He's a huge dick. What's the next topic? Next topic. I'll go. This is, Dan, if you were to have to repair and, all the kids of the three of the other ones, what would you do differently?

Like, if each, if James, Max, and Marty, if you had to reparent them, what would you do differently for each of them? I can't. Fuck, does Dan know about our parents? That's what I mean.

I don't, take it out twice a day to piss and shit. Yeah. Fucking, you know, do they like second-hand weed smoke? Do the kids like fake-facon? Yeah. Teach them voices. I go, I don't know, I'd give them

Kosukwin for their hips. Yeah. Make these kids worse? Yeah, literally is the subject I know nothing about. I go, I don't know, they're all alive. That's pretty cool. Max and both Max and James are great kids. Marty's adorable.

No notes. We don't know. We don't know what Marty is. We don't know if Marty's a good kid yet. Yeah. I tell James not to lick his balls as much. Get on from that. No.

I'm not on the couch. James, not on the couch. Who's the worst kid out of, all comics kids. That's a good question. We know. You know. Do we know?

You guys know. Do we know the worst kid? Like a kid that you've met in the comedy. Oh, I know who you're talking about. No, I'm just saying, you don't know what I'm talking about. I do.

I do not. You know, you know, you're talking about. You don't know who you're talking about. You just said we all know. You know a kid. No, you know a kid. You just said we all know. And you're like, you don't know.

No, you all know a kid I met. That's like, eh. Oh, oh. I thought you're saying, you're talking about a shitty kid. Like, an actual shitty kid? Like, an actual shitty kid of our friends? I'm trying to think of my friend's kids. I think I've only met like three comedy kids.

Yeah. Terrible topic. Yeah. Danny, I have a topic for you. Have you ever done magic in front of people and it just doesn't work? Because I feel like a magic trick bombing. Of course than a joke bombing. I did that one year, dude.

I forget that you're a magician. We would do... Where do we never have our wizard off? I would do a Halloween party every year for the kids. I remember this. I remember that I was there. I mean, I used to do the show.

Like, I had Harrington show up and he had costume changes and I would pay him like 200 bucks and give the kids all these like cyrofoam swords. And he would be like, oh, the wolf man's here. The kids would run after him. Just beat the shit out of him. It was so fun. Very fun.

They loved it. For them. I did a thing where like I dressed up like a doctor, like an evil doctor and at Harrington on like a thing. I was pulling his organs out. The kids were hard. It was a little bit much. It was a little bit much. The next year, inside a shit, by the way.

It goes from, it goes from them being scared to like, it's like from nine to ten. They turn into like little adults. So the next year I was like, I'm going to be a scary clown that's doing like magic tricks. Oh, so this is. Yeah, I remember this. Yeah, this is. This is in your basement. No, this is in the garage.

Oh, this is the garage one. This is a garage. Go ahead. So this is me trying to do magic tricks for them. Look. And the kids had no risk. Dude, they stopped having respect for me. This was the year.

You ugly. Look, you ugly. Yeah. Shut the fuck up, you little monsters. It's in that hand. Dumb butt joke, you stink. And you drop the eggs. Your butt stinks.

You got a bad butt. Look a little max. Yeah, with the bleach bear. What? Spitting my face. It's hilarious. You're so literal. these kids

suck your mother's a string that's hilarious whose kids is that I said your mother's a string ah oh man they fucking dude

and that was in my last we never had a Halloween party again I was like that's it I'm not putting in all this fucking effort bombing for a child it was the worst I used to call Nate's daughter on her birthday as Winnie the Pooh

and then one year she just has a southern accent and she goes hi ban All right, well, that's it. That's it for that. Danny, you got any magic bombs? I haven't done magicing like 14 years. I wasn't good at it.

But I went to Magic Camp. There was a guy that a kid that was a hypnotist, but he didn't know how to hypnotize people. So it tried to hypnotize people and every time they would not sleep when they were They told Danny's relatives that they were on a magic camp too. This is, it's a behavioral clinic. Get on the train.

It's magic camp. They go, we're going to tell them it's magic. We are doing heavy evaluation. Danny, is hypnotism, can people really do it? I don't know. Of course. Yeah. You think?

I kind of feel like it's, I feel like the stage hypnotism is fake. Like the ones that, I think it's just people going along with it. Dude, I remember the naughty hypnotists that used to come through laughs when I started comedy in Tucson. And I'd get, just go in the afternoon and be like, yeah, can I watch this guy? Just get high and sit in the back smoking cigarettes. Watch this dude. Just try to touch ladies tits by fake hypnotizing. I'm a dirty hypnotist.

That's what they'd always do. And they go, oh. and then have her hands like touch his cock. It was fucking hilarious. Salt. Every Sunday, the comedy connection, Santos. I remember him, and there was another,

it was a woman. There was some woman that did it too. And me and Dane and Al went on stage one night and just pretended that we were, we couldn't get out of the hitman. We just sat there like this. He goes, okay. She was trying to get us out.

We were just like, that guy that you're talking about Frank Santos. Frank Santos. He has a kid now. Frank Santos Jr., yeah, he just does it now. It's like a family business. Wait, really? Yeah, yeah.

They've been doing it for 50 years. He was, but he was big. He would sell the fuck out. Well, that was always the crazy ones when you would like, when I moved to the East Coast, you realize some of these guys are like doing numbers, like governor.

Santos was, well, did Thomas Dale stop being a comedian? Remember Thomas Dale? Of course. Thomas Dale. It's like your dick. He was like a dick. He was in the salary.

He was funny. He was funny. He was funny. He was always with Schultz. That was like the two guys. And I like Thomas Dale. Great guy. But he stopped doing comedy to be like a,

not a hypnotist, but a like a mentalist. Like, not a, mentalists. What are they called with the speak to your dead relatives? Yeah. Yeah, he's a medium. He's a medium. He's a medium. Yeah. Used to be a large, but I don't know. No, Thomas is great. Don't be upset about that. What about

what's the comment? Kyle Cease, quick comedy to be a He ceased it? He's doing comedy? A positive speaker? Like a, like a motivation. Motivational speak? That's what I should do. You? I should fucking, dude, that's just quick comedy, be a motivational speaker. I'd be at one of your say, I'd be a, a motivational speaker. I'd be a one of your seminars, you know, I used to do a podcast.

He's actually pretty negative. It's pretty crazy. He's like, sell me this coffee. Hey, what's up? Sell me that. I am gay. I know you are. That's why I said you're a...

Hello? Number one of realizing who you're selling to. Know the client. Do you know how much Lewis wants a headset microphone? Oh, and the clap a lot? Yeah. I'd fucking crush it. Get me out of this business

Fucking Dan Soder is still selling more Motivational tickets than me Have a big head My slogan is easy Know where you're putting your head at the end of the night Oh no Get a big enough pillow Do you have a big enough pillow, sir?

I don't have a big enough pillow Well, you need a bigger pillow Dan sold out six motivational speakings The week before mine Sorry Lewis this is my holiday in The Banquet Room Get your own I'm working Marriott's in the fall.

It is weird because I knew him, Kyle, from L.A. Sure. Him and Dane always had beef. What? Because Kyle used to wear a Boston Red Sox hat. Is he from there? I don't know, but Dane was like, that's my thing. What?

And then, I don't know. And then, but he used to go on stage and kill. Kyle used to kill as a comic. And then I looked one day and he's online talking about living, living, living outside, or living outside, something. Living live is fun. I don't know what it was, but now I'm live.

He's doing theaters. Like packing theaters talking about living life out live, alive or something like that. Do you think motivational speakers bomb? I'm sure, yeah. Like where they're like,

come on guys, and everyone's like, fuck you. I think it must be easier to get a laugh. I'm not motivated. I want to fucking kill myself. I was supposed to be the opposite.

That's how you bomb people who kill themselves. Is that in the back? I'm sorry, was that here? Was that next door? Did someone drop a book or did someone end it? Damn, dude. I mean, I don't want to jinx it, but we're back.

This is the best episode we've ever. You say that every episode, though. Four or five months. He's positive. He's been with Kyle Seas for like six months. Right. Taking his online. We have a whatever your name is, Joe, that's it.

Joe, do you have a topic? Yeah, I want to hear each of your death. Meals. Appetizer, entree, and a dessert. You're going to make Bobby cum his pants. I mean, I'll go first because it's easy. McDonald's. I'm going to go Caesar salad, chicken palm, taramousseau.

Get the fuck out of here. Damn. You just get what you get every night? That's right. Yeah. That's your last meal. What am I going to try something new for my last meal? Your Jackass? Yeah. That's his last meal. I like it. I do like Fugreau. I've grown to love Fugra.

Fugwa. That's duck shit. It's duck liver. No, it's duck liver. But they torture the duck in order to make it that much fat here. And he goes, fuck you, dude. They rape its mother in front of it. This is going to be the fatest liver. That is pure rainer.

I was in, you can do the voice, but I was in Poland with Louis. We went to the best restaurant. I'm a French guy in Poland. I'm an immigrant. I just moved to Poland. They don't allow immigrants in Poland anymore. I'm not an immigrant. I'm from Poland.

But we ordered this, you know, fancy pants, super meal. And we had foie gras and then the other thing. What is it? Fogua. Fogua. Fugra. Fouca. Fucking, uh, Tim McGrath.

So when the waiter came over, Louis was like, go get us more. You got to get more foie gras. We got to get, and the guy was like, my friend, this is appetizer. You don't put it. And he's like, I don't care. Go get it. And he's like, we can't do this. This is for appetizer.

It's like real serious. It was like a chef fucking superfood. Yeah. And he's like, I don't care. I don't care what you're saying. Bring us more of the... More of his duckling. And it was like a beef

because the guy's like, this is unheard of. He can't do this. Death row meal, Bobby. Why don't you duck? Bobby, what's your death row meal? Fuck. I just watched, I finished Lizzie Borden monster.

Fucking, you're ADHD. He is nuts. Bobby, what's your last meal? I just finished Lizzie Borgians. In the last episode, they show the last meal of Eileen Wormos. Wernos?

Yeah, the serial killer that the movie Monster is based on. Yeah, but now they're doing a series for her on Netflix and they interspice it with the Lizzie Borden. So they go back and forth between her and Lizzie Borden. And then there's, it's like a,

it's very meta, I guess they call it, right? Well, Bobby and I would know we're filmmakers. But I... So Bobby. I just, can I... I want to know what her meal was. She had,

KFC. That's it? Yeah. Wow. I just want to interject real quick. This is a topic we should have. There's got to be some kind of ADD, what's that called? Seriousness test.

Severity. Severity. Who? There's got to be an ADHD. Severeity test. And I want all four because I have bad ADHD and you three make me look like fucking Einstein. Yeah. You see the Pats game that?

It's better. I get like ADHD paralysis so like if I have um wow it just happened in front of us I just fucking oh I sort of like I actually go paralyzed

oh god he's doing it again no but like if I have mail like to on my counter like if I look at it like I get depressed like I want to like lie down and fucking cry that's why I got a wife I never touch mail I get it and hit it to her face.

I'll have like a pile of laundry over there. Touch mail. And it's just that makes me like sick to my stomach. Literally like if the way, I don't know if you've ever dealt with depression, but when I have to do like mundane tasks, like go through the mail or want full laundry, I feel depressed, like legitimately.

I feel the same way. Yeah, yeah. More similar than we, when we, than you realize. Aries. Yeah. Arias Spears. So what's your, anyways, say your meal and we'll change topics.

about a third of the way through your answer. It's your last minute. You're on death row. I know, I know. Take a second. I start with a- I know what I'm going to go with a fucking big steak because I love, I'll get a steak,

medium well. A steak to your heart? Medium well, right? Medium, no, medium. The vampire. I'm going to go with a fucking big, huge steak. What cut? What cut?

Medium well? I'm going to. Medium well, no. I do a ribon. Bone in. Remember he said you got to how to cook his steak. Five, five, four, four, three, three.

Yeah, people pointed out that it was 30 minutes of cooking a steak. Yeah, you're eating your hockey puck. Nah, dude, I've had so many people call me ever go, dude, it works. No, it doesn't. I've had so many people demon me. Five, five, five is too much.

Literally five on one side and five five. Five, four, three, three, and you're flipping it. 24. You're flipping it. You're flipping it. Two, two, eight, one, one. Body. It's a 30 minutes to cook a steak.

Five, five, four, four, three, three, two, two, one, one. You're done. I'm far from a grill master. You put it out all right. And I mean this. Have you tried it? I cook steaks all the time. Have you tried it?

Big thick fucking ribbyes. That's not the question. I do. And I mean this, a seer for two and a half minutes on one side. A seer for two and a half minutes on the other. That I do one minute on the other side, one minute on the other side after I cool the pan down with butter.

You're doing the last two steps, dude. You forgot the three. You're skipping four, three, three, two. Guys, I'm talking, I'm talking, I'm talking bare meat. You got to cook the,

you get trichinosis if you don't cook it through. No, medium rare. With ketchup? Medium rare. Steak. I would do a steak sauce. And if they didn't have that, I'd do ketchup. I love a little saucy, but an A1 sauce. Oh, no.

And then I would do the fucking French fries, the steak fries. Oh, yeah. Well done. Steak and frets. I want, I want, I want, and I do peas. You do pee? Oh. This would be my last meal if I was killing myself.

Underrated. This meal would push me. You know what? I'm going to fucking, I'm going to eliminate all my. I'm going to do a fucking one of those English roast dinners with the fucking, with the potatoes, the gravy, the fucking the roast beef. You just change your last meal? What's that other thing? What's that other thing?

What's that other thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's that called? No. No, no. What is that called? Blood pudding? No.

Yeah, blood pudding. No, it's not blood pudding. It looks like a piece of bread, but they call it pudding. Oh, no, no, sweetbreads. No, no, I know what it is. My fucking wife. It's not bread. Bread pudding.

No, not bread bread with dessert. Do the bread pudding at Capitol Grill? So good. What's it pudding called? What's that called, Danny? The bread, the English. Paco's Google again. It's, uh...

I mean, they've killed you already. As you're deciding, they've actually, they've injected you with... I do English roast. We waited for the call from the governor. It never came. I'm going to do an English roast dinner. Roast, gravy, potatoes, some type of pee. So you have to make fun of all these things?

fucking thing, and then I eat that, that'd be good. And then I'd have a, I'd have a soup, but I'd do a clam chowder. I love a soup. I do a clam chowder. Start with a soup. Is it Yorkshire? Yorkshire pudding. Oh, I love a Yorkshire pudding.

There it is. The big bread and they put the, oh, so good. I'd do that, and then I'd do a clam chowder bowl, not cup. I could have finished my meal by now. And then, at the end, I'm going to do the... You're doing the bowl of clam chowder after the... I'm fucking dead after this, dude. Look at that.

It's like that I'm going to have some dinner roast to close it all out. There you go, right there. Mind if I have a little alpine mint. That's how Yorkshire. At the very end. At the very end. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do a bowl of clam chowder,

and then I'm going to do the buttercake at Del Frisco's. Oh. It's like this big. Oh, Del Frisco's buttercake, the best thing ever. Dan, what's your? I'm starting off with the French onion soup. Good French onion soup. Thick cheese and that bread on the bottom of the bowl that you get through.

We know what French Union soup is. Yeah, I got it. Some people at home don't. I'm not a fan of the bread though I bet you guys eat around the bread I don't eat the wet bread your wet bread's great I'm not gonna be all that

then I'm moving on to you know probably do some I'm gonna do sides first some green beans some uh some garlic mashed potatoes and then probably

similar to Robert here I'd like to get a nice steak I'd like to get a nice beef a filet maybe like a nice 12 ounce filet 12 ounce bone in bone in medium rare

and then uh for dessert or like a dairy queen blizzard. Wow. And with two cans of Canada dry ginger in. Ooh, I forgot my... You're not having a beer? Deathbed. I'm waiting to drink with my daddy.

Are you doing... You're on death there. Are you doing a beer? No. You're not going to drink. Relapsing the last moment of my life. You're not relapsing. Can I say this, though?

That's crazy. That's what I have. I would do heroin. By the way, Lewis, for dessert, I want a dairy queen blizzard and a pack of camel I. I wouldn't mind a fucking cigarette. I wouldn't mind after all that's done going.

So the whole family, I killed the whole family, huh? I would, I would fuck. As they're about to shoot it into my veins, I go, I can't believe I killed the kids too. Bad day. They didn't deserve that. Bad day for the show. I'm going to do a little Marlboro Red.

Yeah. That first strike, that first light, you go, you guys are sure that governor didn't call. He's a puker your entire meal. Oh, yeah! I've been Wait at it Oh my god

My abs are gonna look so good When you shock me My meal Your meal Lewis what just wanted to headline this so badly Well because I have the best meal Yeah All right let it roll

The burger from Bardessi and San Sebastian We're sending them over They gotta I mean Yeah You send that up to the fucking prison The prison warden and he goes It's a Roy Rogers burger He goes

I want you to go down to the water And get him a cheeseburger And tell him We went to his little Spanish paradise Gotta be the burger from Bardesi and San Sebastian. I've never tasted. If we're doing specifics, then I...

Yeah, dude, I thought we were doing American meals. No, fuckface. You did Del Frisco's buttercake, but I can't do the... That's America. They don't have to get a passport and a visa to go get my meal. Yeah, dude. They don't have to fucking... They don't need that.

This is matter. None of it's real. It is. It is real. Bobby's facing a fucking six murder truck. It's got to be American food on me. Well, it's got to be a real last meal. That's my last meal.

Odyssey of the mind. Have your little Spanish. If we could do anything, I want 13-year-old. As your meal? Let me get in there. I'd get the burger from Bardessi. I get the burger from Bardezzi, unquestionably. Lucy and Bardessi?

Dude, it was so good. It's not going to be good by the time you can't. Great point, Bob. It's going to be all mushy, the bread. No, you don't fine. How about this? They make it the way they make it there. Okay, that's fine.

I'll take that. Why don't they bring the guy? The prison cook goes, yeah, sure, dude. I don't know. Ash is in the hot. This guy's the one that killed all those people. Yeah, I'll make him as perfect. Hey, Joe, you got any of that sloppy Joe hamburger left?

Hey, just make sure I'm there when they flip the switch. Fuck. Some mac and cheese. I'm not going to say specific, but just a nice fucking, some really good mac and cheese. Craft deluxe. I love crack. That's what I had last night. You like crack?

I like crack. Kraft. No, I love Kraft mac and cheese. Craft mac and cheese, unbelievable. I'll even see you on and say, I like it better the day after when you re-microwave it. I've never not finished a box of Kraft mac and cheese it's fucking, it's pretty solid dude a little bit of pepper, a little salt

and they don't even pay attention you do three times of butter they suggest just throw a whole stick of butter in that bitch Who cares, you're gonna die? What is this for models? So mac and cheese and then what? That's it, just the burger and mac and cheese, no fries or nothing?

What kind of single mom dinner is this? I mean, I don't really need, I'm not a big, I'm not a big, I'm not a big fry guy. I will be when they put me on death row. All right. Come on, boys. Come on, boys.

No, no, the mac of cheese is my carb. I would probably do some cheesy broccoli. I do enjoy some cheesy broccoli. Maybe, uh, ooh. Oh, no soup. No, I will say. You know what? Maybe I'll do it.

I do love a soup. Yeah, maybe New England clam chowder from. New England. From somewhere in the... Southeast clam chowder. No, no, we went to a... Me and Rochafort, went to a fucking great place in Portland, Maine.

It was called... Chowda? I forget, but they made the fuck. Are you going to get the little crackers with it, too? Like, I'm going to as much... I'm not wasting the... I don't want to have... I don't want to shit my pants once they fry me.

Dude, you're going to be dead. Who cares if you shit your pants? My butt already sucks. Like, oh, I'm expecting them. Yeah, you shit your pants. Yeah, I'm going to have toddler back. Don't you want to fucking torture them after you, nice fucking clam chowder shit? God, it's so crazy?

We're all going to be dead bodies at some point. Well, I'll just be like this. I'm getting cremated. I'm getting cremated. I'm getting cremated. Before you get, before you die, you fucking home. No, dude, I'm going right to it. I'm laying down where they go.

Burn me. I go, ow, ow, ow. Oh, man. Hey, focus. Focus on your fucking last meeting. Why is the alarm system? I'm going off at my house. Because it's fucking the water.

Yeah. She's just ripping wires out of the wall. Mr. Louis is so bad right now. The water is in the walls. Hello. Everybody check your phone. When Lewis says Chuck's phone. Hello.

I'm hungry. I'm fucking starving. Weep. Weep. And for dessert? I mean, that burger alone is literally all I thought. You know what? I'll get, look at the best cheesecake from San Sebastian as well.

Two of the best things I've ever eaten. Great. Cheap as fuck. I'm getting Dairy Queen. Eight bucks. I'm having my little red straw. I'm going. Dude,

I almost like, guys, we gotta go to San Sebastian. Like, can we do a show there? The burger, Bobby, this burger.

If we go and it sucks, that would be so funny, we make our way and I go. It's not good. It's like that's a bad day. I've had a better, I mean, there's an,

you gotta get the not a damn chance burger here in New York as well. Not a damn chance burger is the best smash burger you ever have. Where is that? Downtown somewhere. What's the place called? Not a damn chance burger.

Oh, that's what it's called, the place? Yeah. They only have three things in the menu. They have the burger, the fries, and a drink. Can I add a soup dumpling to my last meal? I love a soup dumpling. Can I just add that as an appetizer? I love a soup dumpling.

It's wonderful. They're hot. They're going to be careful. They got to the best one. I love a soup dumpling. I love a soup dumpling. I had a French onion soup dumpling one time. What the fuck is that?

Well, now I'll be called American Onion. American Onion dumpling. Where do they have that? I've had a restaurant I had it. I fucking came in my pan. That's fucking good. Because I was it in his cream in his cream in his pan. We should wrap it up.

My delivery is here. Yeah. Guys, loose's his delivery is here. All right. Well, that's it. Make sure you check out all our websites. Make sure you come to our shows. Buy tickets to Lewis's shows.

My shows and Joe's shows. My shows too. Before Dan's shows. November 5th of the 7th. Make sure you check us all out. You guys are the best. We'll see you next time on the race.