Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Beaver Fever w/ Luis J Gomez

Episode Date: July 27, 2020

This episodes brought to you by Tushy! Go to HelloTushy.com/Dude to receive 10% off your order and FREE Shipping! Coming back from a Father/Son camping outing that didn't go quite as planned, Luis J Gomez is on the pod to talk why he'll make you wait, when it's not okay to film your friends, and along with Mike Calta get into how his second camping excursion with Bobby went! Follow @RobertKellyLIVE on Instagram @RobertKelly on Twitter www.ykwdpodcast.com For advertising inquiries: [e-mail]  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Yeah baby, we're starting the podcast right now! We're back, you know what's in live. Welcome everybody to the show. YKW I'm here. I started the social media podcast. I'm here. The fact that YKW did podcasts.

YKW did back again. I'm home school, back in the day. We're all starting before them all. YKW did this podcast is so fun and crazy. And there's no rules. Shut up, you ruining this Bring the more ganna man I'm so sorry

It's not any podcast This is an NPR That's the podcast done Is there any better show? This is the original Original You know what the I can suck my dick, dude. My call to reporting for duty, sir.

Hello, my friends. Gabby, you hey, hair bitch. What's that? I'm a hey, hair bitch. You can see Gabby in front of those walls. Ha, ha, ha. She really does blend in. Mush.

What's up mush? Are you doing well said? Well said. How am I doing? Well, I'm doing better. I actually came home. My beaver fever kicked in after the show last night. I left on Saturday. I had one more day of my pills. I forgot them Figuring I felt better

Monday came back fever 102 last night. Bucking beaver fever kicked in shittin mush Dawn says this morning. I call my doctor friend Arpan Uh, what's his name? Arpan. That's a great name. Is the best sounds like a spy He's remembered my cigar place. It's the best He was gonna do my stomach surgery Before I decided just to stop the kid hold on good Gary Stop the chip hold on good Gabby God I hate you guys Listen you could have did it before the show if you didn't want all the attention. I know you are there you go all right

Oh, man, I would love to dip a cracker in some arpa on right now I love the different cracker and some arpa on right now. But I go to dawn this morning, you should bring a stool sample. I might put that in a ass for a stool sample. Well, they probably will. And I'm like, so I go, what am I going to, how am I going to get the stool? She goes, put it in this topware container. I'm like, I go, you want me to shit into a topware container? I go, what do I do? She goes, put the lid on. I go, you want me to shit into a top where I can tell you? I go, what do I do? Because put the

lid on. I go, what if the lid pops off? I go, so you want me to go to the fucking, I'm going to shit in the top with thing, and then go to the doctors with a tray of shit lasagna in the car. Sit there in the waiting room with shit lasagna. What if you get there and they're like, no, we don't need that. That's exactly what I'm like. Oh, you brought it You're my car. I forgot it You want to see it? No, no

Dude I shit in the fuck it thing I go in guy sees me This is not our pan. This is his friend who's a gastro whatever He goes, uh, yeah, I'm probably a hundred percent sure you just needed to stay on the medication long enough I go well, I have a stool sample for you. He goes is it solid? I go. Well, it's not diarrhea He goes then I I can't use If it's so he goes I was like well, it's in the car. I mean, I don't know if I want to answer this, but how did you get it? I put the top-wear thing in the toilet and I shittin' it. And then I, but I shitt perfectly.

It used my squat, I swear to God, I used my little Tushy stool, who's a sponsor of the podcast, by the way. Tushy Ottoman. Tushy Ottoman. Tushy Ottoman. And I put my little feet up my toes and it came right out like a rocket. But I took the last day of medicine so it made my stomach better.

So anyways, it might be a gallbladder though. I might have, I might be fine. It's in your car still. I just remembered it's in my car. That's so out of your mind. I stopped off to get slushies and Max and I got an assiibo for me and Because they're right next to each other and I was funny because I almost brought the shit in instead to the assiibo I was put the shit on the conference that I gotta go get it. You want to get it? Should I get it?

I I was put the shit on the concert instead of that. I gotta go get it. You wanna go get it? Should I get it? Do not do that during this. I'll get done, you get it. I used to pee in exactly a snapple bottle. One pee would be a full snapple bottle. So when I lived in Miami, I'd drove down to Miami one time and I was trying to find someplace I got lost. And then middle of the day, I'm lost and a hunker comes up to my car.

And I asked her for directions and she goes, you sure you don't want a party? I go, yeah, no, I don't want a party. I just want to go out of this neighborhood. And she's like, give me some money. And I'm like, I don't have any money. And she goes, let me get that iced tea. I go, okay. Hello.

Now I went in. Later. I took off. I don't know if she drank it or what the thing was, but you know she took a, you know she took a, oh man. That article is coming out. Well, you took, she took a swing of that. She was like, this tastes like honey. That fat motherfucker has got diabetes. Is that how you know? Yeah, that's how we treat you. I don't because he pays his own piss. No, can I finish the story before you end it? You kill Barry and the lead cocksucker.

Cause he says, oh, best. No, he was he was peeing on his girlfriend. And she's like, this day sweet. And he was like, what? And he had to go get tested. But trees used to sleep with a fucking jug next to his bed, like an old hillbilly jug to pee in in the middle of the night because he didn't want to get up to go to the bathroom.

Wow, that's easy. Yeah, yeah. I remember I was in his room and I was like, what's that jug of wine? He's like, nah, that's piss, that's piss, man. I got a, I got a peel out with the diabetes. I don't feel like getting up in the middle of the night. I was like, the bathroom's like right there.

Yeah. You're not in a hotel or a fucking bed and breakfast where you gotta go downstairs or something. It's, it's, yeah, nah, I just piss in this. I roll over and I stick my my packer in the thing and it It's perfectly It's the old Arizona iced tea jug. Oh, man One of those like a country bearer would play the win

Grump up just remind me Norton is such a star fucker Get Ricky Jervais on the show yesterday And he pissed in a cop during the interview because he didn't want it up You didn't want to get up. They just he sat there like this He's pissed in a cop and then put it back on the table I almost had a good fashion, but I wasn't quite ready on this show yet come on dude. All right, I In the early stages of the show like the second week. What was it? I

I threw up during the show What I remember it was like I was sick and I had little I was so nauseous and The show is almost over but then it went long and I was like I kind of and I had a garbage bag next to me and I just turned out It wasn't like a full throw up, but it was like a sick throw up, you know, like a spit. And I threw up through the show and I came back and I was like, and nobody even noticed.

Oh, well, that's so fucked up. Did that's when you had the COVID? It's not dedicated, no, I had fucking COVID didn't do it. COVID didn't even give me a fever. It was fine, I'm like a superhero. Oh my God. That's so fucking crazy. I've never, I don't really, I don't have to pee. I've never really had to pee in a car driving.

I've never been that guy. Always pee in the car driving. I never do that. I got Ari Shafir, that awesome piss thing. Where is that? I am a, I used to be a bottle of snapple iced tea. And now I'm, I'm Ari Shafir that awesome. Where is that? I am a I used to be a bottle of snaple iced tea and now I'm almost a Trent the Colbert from Starbucks. That's a lot of piss. I'm 26 ounces. I drink a lot of water. It doesn't taste sweet so I feel like I'm okay.

water. It doesn't taste sweet so I feel like I'm okay. You sure smell it. That huger calls me once a week to like ignore the days like. So tonight we have what you would call it. Luis J Gomez. Luis J Gomez is on tonight but I think he's he said to me so funny. He goes, uh, I said Gabby's gonna message you goes, yeah, okay, I'm gonna make her wait. I love I love making people wait. Like that's people think that's a power move. He's gonna wait. You wanted to wait till to respond to my text message. Yes. I don't care. Yeah, but it's like, it's a paramount when you don't tell anybody.

Right. And you just do it. When you tell the guy who is my show, and I'm going to say it on my show, now it's not a paramount of your just an idiot. There he is. Perfect timing. Speaking of dumb dumb.

Yeah. It's not really. Start the show. Did you make us, did you just leave us waiting for your power move? We can hear you. We can hear you. Can you not hear us? You not have AC in your apartment. You're not muted.

We can hear you muted we can hear you We can hear you you could hear me. Yes, you just heard us. I can't hear you. Okay Mike help him that owns a podcast network He does he does 900 podcasts a day, literally. Is there a little? We're setting in your end. I mean, I use Zoom daily. I mean, fucking eight times a day. No, it's us.

It's absolutely us. I know. It's not gonna do it. No, everybody here is fine. Literally, I mean, it's just, it's incorporated to every aspect of my life. It's fucking my kids home schooling, but my podcast and that one,

and fucking, yeah, my only fans page But you're definitely You do everything I'll talk it X income every everything I've done you've done too. Yeah, you're the shit Hey, go, hey, go loose. Hey, go almost everybody. So anyways, Mike He's so annoying. How is it not? Hello he's so annoying. How is it not? Hello. Now you're muted. He's still muted there. I'm unmuted. Now you're unmuted. Turn your volume up, stupid. Your volume on your computer if your headphones aren't plugged in I'm going to laugh

I your headphones plugged in Yeah, I guarantee the volume on his computers down I think it's just the speaker on your computer Can you tell him to took can you text him and tell him to turn his volume up? I did on his computer Yes And make sure his headphone. Yeah, his head shiny. Got it. Got it. What was it? Was it our end of your end? I'm sorry. Far aside for the mistake you fucking dumb boded. You didn't have the volume on your computer

up. You dumb nickel chaser. What was your headphones weren't plugged in? That's my headphones were my headphones were plugged in. What was it? It was the for some reason. I have no idea why on zoom the setting that you have to choose your headphones specifically to be coming through this microphone. I haven't had to change that literally. No, it's actually us. It's still not you. I think even though it's even though it's you, it's still not you. I think it's you and I'll tell you why because I think I think it's this live thing, whatever the live thing is. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Anyways, give it up for Lewis, Jay Gomez, Mike, call the Gabby who Lewis has a pair of her panties somewhere. Oh, yeah, I'll go get him during the No. I like to get those camping panties.

I'll be right back. You still have those. You're fucking freak. I chucked them. Fuck. I did. I chucked them. What'd you use them for?

I jerked off like four times with them. But they got boring because four times. She fucking sprayed them with a lice all cleanser. So I had to use my imagination. but yeah, I got rid of them. That's how shivers down my spine. She had dirty, hippie ass juice from Brooklyn, from protesting all day, in her panties. Yeah, it was a protest piss coming out of her fucking.

They were all like, they were also worn nice panties. They were like her gross ones that she didn't care about it was which is even better for me to be honest with you I want dirty like graying panties. Yeah. That shows a sign the chick is really she's been through a war yeah she knows what the fuck's going on in the trenches. I was seeing I live in it and they would come over and they would see these panties And I was like I had explained to them that they didn't belong to another woman But that I gave a $40 projector I traded a $40 projector for it was $400 Whatever it was it was for harassment and it's on camera and Get rid of the evidence

He literally told there was a flounder doll in camera. I don't know. He locked it up. It's not it's not Gabby. It's not. It's 40. It sucks. And I regret it. Just kidding. You can have them. What are you doing now? I dropped a piece of ice on the floor. And then now there's like a some sort of dust thing in there. I'm trying to get it out. Anyone mushrooms right now?

I'm on whiskey and a little bit of weed, Bobby. I'm trying, you know what? I'm fine. I'm doing good. I was a little bit stressed out. I came in a little bit hot. I apologize. Calda, how you doing?

I buddy. How are you? What's going on? People were trying to troll you today and talking shit about me. I don't know what happened. Uh, it's just one guy with pink hair. Hmm. What happened? That guy with pink hair has been emailing me for the past couple of days.

Saying I'm not. Emailing you or text or social Facebook emailing me. Okay. Yeah. Saying that I'm not a real ass man. Why are you not a real ass man? I don't know. I gave up. I said, you win. I don't know what you want me to say. Did he give any excuses? Why you want a real ass man? No, he was trying so hard to get me to get mad. And I don't know why that would make me mad. Yeah, he said, you're not real ass. In my world, that's a huge insult. In the Cal State and Cali world, you guys are like, that's quite a right. I would imagine it's similar to being called something like the Juggalos would say, like a Juggalo insult. Yeah, exactly. It means nothing to me, but if I was at Juggalo, if I was at Fess, I'd be like, we must, one of us must die now.

Yeah, if you had dirty knuckles and a black t-shirt with shit on it, it means something to you. Right. It means something to you. Charity not goals. So we I found out my my beaver fever came back during camping. Yes, that's why I shit my pants. Yeah, you should your pants was maybe the greatest moment of my life. It was a moment where Bobby, so you know, I'm handing Bobby, He's in the flatbed truck and I'm handing him things to put away.

And he bends over and he goes, dude, I just shit my pants. I just shit my pants. Oh fuck. I just shit my pants. Now the kids won't make eye contact with either of us at this point. They're just fucking mortified. You said in front of the kids. Yeah, the kids, the door is open. The kids is new. Exactly what was going on. But the kids, the kids were playing. I said it to Lewis because, look, here's a deal. I shit my pants. I'm packing the truck up.

We're minutes away from leaving. I made, I knew I felt sick the day before. I knew I started to feel bad. Plus, it was 900 degrees out. I'm cooking over an open flame like a fucking barbecue pit master. I'm dehydrated. I'm fucking out. I'm not sleeping. Growing flame, like a fucking barbecue pit master. I'm dehydrated. I'm throwing knives are being winged past your head. What's that throwing knives are being winged past your head?

This fucking guy, I look over. He goes, I'm throwing knives. I go, could you at least do it at another campsite? When he goes to the campsite next to us, he's like, do it. I'm great at this. All of yours ping, ping, ping. Not one of them are going in not one of them No, that's not from Max Max through those, okay?

This fucking guy I mean out of out of a thousand first of all the tree the beautiful 150 year old tree that is at that campsite that provides shade for that campsite is it dead? That is at that campsite that provides shade for that campsite is a dead. Because it's it's it's got 10,000 fucking knife wounds. And he got it looked like my father. I'll do it for you guys. He goes.

Thank you. I can't tell the story and fucking thing you Dude it was so funny and then all of a sudden I look over and I'm like I told him please don't bring please don't bring I talk I talk to his kid I go your father shouldn't bring these knives Someone could die and get arrested and go to jail and then he goes dad We shouldn't bring this one like I cool. He brings them as soon as we get there everything set up as soon as we get there he takes his fucking knives out in front of the kids and then I look over and he's got both kids he's got both kids holding the blade my kids that's taking a hold it. That's taking a hold it. And he was good at it. Max

actually was nailing some some throws. Yeah, I know. Now he wants throwing knives. Thanks. Yeah. A week ago, we wanted a baseball glove and a mitt. I mean, a ball. Now we want to be a ninja, you cock sucker. Now we're supposed to be a full fledged Puerto Ricanican What a radio flyer wagon Like a nice innocent boy Yeah And uh, so yeah, so I'm giving I'm giving Bobby all the shit and he shits his pants and uh, so then he yet He's gonna piece of shit he is though. He's already got a shirt off. Which is hilarious The Bobby when he's in his woodsman men's mode. He just gets shirtless. Like, he thinks he's fucking hot or so. I have no idea.

No, no, dude. I was sick and it was 900 degrees out and I hadn't slept for two days. I didn't care anymore. I didn't care how dirty I was. I didn't care what I looked like. I was dying. And the only thing I was worried about

is that our two kids had a fun time. I wanted to stab you like nine times. I wanted to take your life in front of your self with my knives with your knives. I want to just don't, don't, don't, that's how you throw. What do you think? What do you think? Louis was your greatest offense? I can't think because we heard we heard about all the men.

I'm going to tell you the greatest offense, which is coming up. Let me show you right now. Hold on. So hold on. Before you look, because this is my greatest offense, it actually answers this question. I should. My pants and I go, I'm gonna tell you the greatest offense which is right now So hold on so hold on before you look because this is my greatest offense it actually answers this question I should my pants and I go I go like this. Let me just set you up for this. I go Lewis. I shit my pants I said quiet. I didn't want the kids to get there He goes we'll all fucking no like spit coley fucking what he's so excited

I'm like that's not the response. I'm the only moment of happiness. I had all weekend I gotta go down. Now, thank God I had swim trunks on. So it was like, it was a net. You know, it was a net that caught the shit. Oh, yeah, it's getting a chunk bag. I was like, I was making fish food, right? So I walk into the woods.

I'm talking, deep into the woods. I got baby wipes, I got toilet paper. I'm going to the woods. I'm talking deep into the woods. I got baby wipes, I got toilet paper. I'm going to the woods. I'm going to clean my asshole like I can't find it. No, no, you should know. The visual is he's got no shirt on. Now his pants, he's maybe 40 meters away from the car and me.

Where in America? Use fucking yards. All right. You're fucking traitor. Let's say meters. You're fucking it. 40 meters. You know, you know, you were 40 meters in.

You idiot. What do you mean? I mean, there's three feet. You fucking idiot. Yeah. A yard is like three and a quarter feet or whatever. It's almost the same shit. Listen, those meters.

And he's in the woods. He looks like Patrick from SpongeBob. He's got no shirt on. I'm gonna ask. Oh, I know you're turning on me first thing. You could turn on me instead of a bunch. I'm setting the scene I know you turned on me first thing. You could turn on me instead of a set in the scene. There you go.

That's exactly what I. He's got his pants around his ankles. Just shoving the waters. He's got his pants around his ankles. Wiping his ass in the woods. He's naked. He's completely naked in the woods. Wiping his ass.

Are you there? I'm not. Are you out of campground? We are what it was Monday. Nobody was there. They don't have bathrooms there? Yeah, but dude, it was a fucking walk. And I already went to bathroom. I went to bed. I was waking up the day before.

He doesn't know this. I'm gonna admit this to you. Want to hear something that happened? No, no. Okay, so the day before. I rape your son. That's why he's not a good comic. So the day before Max is waking up, as soon as the fucking,

he has one fucking sparrow, dad, he's up. I gotta take him, as soon as I get up, I gotta shit, because my stomach's fucked. I gotta go shit. Now we take the truck down, because it's too far for me to walk it shit my pants I get to the toilet on Sunday morning Within seconds of shitting my pants now Unbeknownst to me when I pulled my pants down and went to shit. I had shit on the seat

So I had shit on the seat and it was on my leg. And then when I went to wipe my arm, went in like this and my watch just scraped off the shit. So I cleaned everything out. I got up. I got up. And I was like, Oh my god, the shit on the seat. I had to clean my butt, clean the seat. I cleaned, I have all these baby wipes. So I'm cleaning everything, wrapping everything up. You know, and then I'm walking out and I look at this just shit on my watch. So I'm going to take my watch off. I am now I'm going to do this without Max no one or anybody. You should like Mr. Bean. That's crazy. So I have this upset stomach this

fever fever is coming back but I don't want to I want to go home I just wanted to go home Sunday we suggested going home to the kids five or six times it was too hot I was sick to be I'm shitting my pants it's nuts so now I'm in the woods and this is full on fever. And I'm trying to clean up my ass to get out of here to get home. And the body, the shape of Bobby, it's not easy to wipe his own ass. It was standing up in the woods like he gets you have to understand he's got to get around and somehow up and in. So it's a process. He's got to hold on to a tree. He's got one leg up on a rock. He's really, he's poisoned ivy around me too. So it's like He's got to hold on to a tree. He's got one leg up on a rock. He's really

good. There's poison ivy around me too. So it's like he's trying to look like that ninja warrior game. Yeah. Yeah. Now who's the whole time now? I'm, I'm videotaping on my cell phone the whole time. Cackle. I'm asking if I'm all right. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, if I need anything, just I'm told about dying laughing. Never laughed harder in my entire life, just cackling in his face. And Bobby, you see him from, you know, we'll say 35 yards away. And he looks at the phone, like right directly into the lens, he's like, are you fucking, are you video tape? And are you fucking delete that? Oh, you're done. You fucking delete that. Oh, you're done

This is what a piece of shit is he walks over me laughing. I'm shitting. I'm in the most Position ever he walks 50 meters into the woods And he fucking he goes yo-chah I'm make I have shit. I'm I'm embarrassed as it is. He's going yo check it out. I'm deleting it right now I mean it's in my deleted it's in my deleted folder. I would send it to everybody on this fucking Your kids will I swear to God our kids will never see each other. I'll give you a pair of Gabby's panties So then so that was you Oh, you know This is the wrong. This is the wrong. I just think this is I Think this is the raw this was just the wrong weekend to go fucking

I think this is the raw this was just the wrong weekend to go fucking camp it kids get through a hundred degrees it was a hundred degrees there was like they would shut shit down the pool you could go in for an hour it was just we were fucking beat we're exhausted but anyways what is that you got one what do you smoke and meth? Fucking crack or? Hitting a dab doggy. You what? Hitting a dab doggy. He's speaking real ass to you.

Hey, speaking real ass. Yeah, I'm being real ass right now. So maybe you guys, the boomer should get with the program. I hope it's fucking tainted something and you die in front of us. If his eyes roll back and his head and foam comes out as mouth, that'd be the fucking greatest thing ever. Are we just gonna wait silently? I'm gonna carry the fucking show. I'm telling stories.

I don't know what he's doing. the fucking show. I'm gonna have talent stories. I don't know what he's doing. I'm recovering alcoholic. What the fuck? Mike's watching him like he's interested. What do you think? I have no idea what's going on. I don't know what it was. He's a fucking pothead.

Let me taste that. That didn't that look like pots, man. Look too much pots. He smokes weed all day long. We're camping. He's smoking weed the whole fucking time. That's not true. I was smoking CBD.

What the fuck is that? It's seed, Bobby. It calms me down, but it doesn't get me stoned. That's how the energy all weekend. You look like you're filled with energy, right? No, I'm stoned as fuck now. This is weed. This is I'm taking dad's of weed.

This is super concentrated weed. This is essentially, you know, that you have like resin back in the day, probably if you, I don't know, Caltech, I don't know if you've been sober, but there's no way you're not. It's not so. Oh, you fucking,

oh, you old assholes are sober. You never had a problem with anything. Oh, you're not sober? Our good, Jesus Christ. Thank God. Why are we so boring? So do you smoke weed, Caltech, first of all, you fuck face. I did more drugs than you, but at the time I was fucking 12.

No, you didn't. Bobby got sober when he was 14 years old. 15, you know, nothing. It was 15. I've been doing drugs since I was 17 nonstop until right now. I started doing drugs now. I'm doing drugs now. I'm in the process of doing drugs.

I was doing coke when I was 10 you fucking idiot You're a little fucking pussy in Rockland County trying to get an ice cream. Yeah, guess what only turn you only turned when your parents got killed Jail when you were fucking Sun you were 10 you found you did coke twice you Would you cook Bobby where were you? Twice you can be crazy. Where'd you cook Bobby? Where were you? You're gonna call it castos mother boy castos fucking mother's boyfriend was a coke dealer He used to beat him up and take his coke. We used to smoke it. We used to snort it. I used to do it all the fucking time I did drugs you I drank a case of beer when I was 13 by myself. That was my fuck. I could once

You're going down you're going down. You're going down. You started with Coke at 10 and you're like, dude, I drink some beer at 13, dude. Drink the case of beer. Drink the fuck time. Once sip fucking jackpot. One time when I was 17 in church, I took a sip of wine.

Pussy, you were fucking, what are you shoplifting at 15? You fucking queer. I got gum guys. I smoked pot with Gabby's dad one time. That was it. Where? I know I've spoken I'm just one I'm so like it. I'm tired and hungry so I'm not it's not that I'm against it. I just don't like you smoke tonight. Wait a minute. It's tired. It makes you tired and hungry. It turns you into Robert Kelly. That doesn't it doesn't track it.

Don't laugh. I'm not tired. I'm never tired hungry. Are you are you were tired so we get in starving? I was tired because I didn't listen to you a fucking out of monologue just patting yourself on the back every fuck. Dude, this is the best. This is awesome. I'm doing good. Can I tell you why? Bob, maybe if you wouldn't be so critical. Well, if you weren't so critical, maybe I wouldn't have to pat myself on the back and make myself feel better. If you were to throw a little bit of fucking. Hey, how many compliments did I give you fucking kid? Hey, man, it's fucking super gay. You did my art. You trained this kid to say that it's

10s better than mine. At one point, I was like, Max, I fucking dare you to say you're 10s better than mine again. You don't know shit about 10s max. You know nothing. I gave you a compliment on your fucking 10. I don't know how many times you wanted it. I complimented you sleeping pads I gave you what you needed and you kept talking to yourself. It wasn't like you were talking to me. You were talking to yourself What is that video? That's a video. That's a video. If you release that, I swear to God. I will fucking never fucking talk to you again. I just want to say a real ass man would release that video. I just want to say a real ass man would release that video.

I just want to say a real ass man would release that video. I just want to say a real ass man would release that video. I'm just saying juggle those would release that video. That's true. Bobby is blood red mad. No, I'm not mad. con volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca, espectacularismos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Huelades de Madrid a Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Bolotea Sarifa sujeta a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com Thank God I have this product in my life. Thank God. I've had both of these products.

The first one is the Tushy Classic. It's a bidet because if I had to use toilet paper on my butt with what just happened to me from getting beaver fever, I was pooping every five seconds, okay? I had the bidet, the Tushy Classic. I push a button, beautiful cool water, went in there and cleaned everything away.

And then I tapped it, just dabbed it with some toilet paper. And it was perfect, okay? We all know the toilet paper is spreading peanut butter. That's it. Get some peanut butter, put it in your arm and wipe it off with toilet paper. And then go back with the baby wipe.

There's still peanut butter. That's your butthole. The same thing happens. Thankfully now there's a sleep of day attachment. It just clips right on your toilet. It hooks up in under a five and minutes or something like that. It took me like 10 or 20 minutes to get hooked up. It's crazy, but completely clean with fresh water.

Tushy, Tushy, Tushy. I love this product. I've been talking about the days for years. Finally, they made the problem with the days. It's this big thing. It's complicated. They just made it simple. They made it idiot proof. It's like the Macintosh for the days. Okay. Tushi sprays directly into your Bob. Remove the poop. Okay. It's like those mining things with their mining the side of the mountain. It gets all the poop out okay? It's like those mining things with their mining the side of the mountain, it gets all the poop out of there. So there's nothing in your butt. There's no bacteria that leads to nasty, hemorrhoids, yeast infection, UTIs, itchy asshole. My kid loves it. My kid has a

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fresh water, it's awesome. Wet wipes are the worst thing for your toilet, by the way. No, they're terrible, and they hurt your ass. They have the alcohol on them, and it hurts your ass, you want them getting baby wipes and it kills. They cause anal fishes. It's disgusting. All right, you don't want to use,

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Let's put this on top of it. Bing. Bing free shipping. HelloTouchy.com slash dude 10% off free shipping go save your asshole You know how all things is a good idea for that two of you to go camping No, no, no, here's a deal. I got I'm gonna say this We are kids fucking a great together. They're great. They love each other. They're really great. That's friends That's for I mean really they love hanging out. I mean, my kid and James,

it is fucking good match, you know what I mean? And, um, and me Lewis to find, but it was we actually were great. We didn't fight the whole weekend. I mean, we were a little, we had a, we had probably five or ten little blow-ups at each other. My growl blow-ups. But in the moment, we stop. And then we also had a tweet out, we had to do this thing where we would like, start yelling at each other. But then like the kids would look over like concerned.

And we're like, no, this will friends that we were bus and balls. So now every time Bobby and me accursate each other, the kids would just look over at us and be like, bus and balls, like, yeah, we just bus and balls. But we have, because glueists are talking,

I'm like, shut up, I get it. And then Max, we're like, shut up, Lewis. I'm uh, you know, because Gloucet would talk and I'd be like, shut up, I get it. And then Max would be like, shut up, Louis, I'm like, you can't say that. Yeah. He's like, we just bust him balls. So here's the deal. I am a particular way and I get that. When I camp, I like a neat campsite.

I like certain things to go certain ways. Louis is a pothead. certain things to go certain ways. Lewis is a pothead. I'm, here's what Bobby does. And by his response, he actually proved that he is a pothead. I am a pothead. I took him 11 seconds to answer the three spots of that. I am a pothead.

I will admit that. But I mean, you know, you're, you just, I let Bobby fucking do his whole thing You know, he needs to fucking cook the the stakes All cook the stakes. It's not like I By the way, I'll cook the stakes and I'll make sure everything's clean I mean if you said Lewis your job is a cook and make sure the whole campsite is fucking clean It will be impeccable, but you need to take the fucking lead

So yeah, I'm just gonna smoke pot and throw knives. What am I supposed to do? You need to do your fucking thing. I'm not gonna step on your fucking toes because you're starting to get crazy. Are you saying you would write you you would have been able to cook two revise and three fillets? Easily. And that's what I'm saying. We got two seven year olds. They're gonna eat one fillet each. Maybe not even. He buys 70, he buys a cow. I gotta cook all this shit on an open flame. I'm gonna take sex with Robert Kelly. I'm assuming we don't have nearly enough.

I'm assuming we're gonna have to go back for a second trip that night. Are you here fucking mind? Five stakes between four men, please, any shit by some evil. And then he bought five corner of the cob, not six not six five an uneven amount of numbers Oh, you want to know who bought the core of the cob you you fed shit Who's 10 was better?

Yours are more better than any of the sentence And your boat Pretty call me call me sped your it. Did come you shot your shot? Shot latte You're a shot. You're a shot. They lose shot latte. Are you packing up? What? I bet I had you bet pen. Don't get to close that watch. You lose had big pen. Yeah, because every time we get angry, the kids would be like, hey, why don't you

vape pen? They're both studio. Goodbye, I'll see you later. Cause the vape would calm me down. Yeah. Every time every time loads of your back. The Patreon just said this. As well. It's incredible. It's so funny. It's so funny. Because but here's the thing. They were there with different last year. There were a little karma calmer. The

kids were a little less. Yeah. It was also 80 degrees last year when we went, not 94. 80 degrees, there was a lot more to do. Down with coronavirus. This year it was a little like, we sat down the last night by the fire. Everything was done, we had the movie going for them

and we lit up cigars and then I'm sitting like, oh, this is great and then Lewis got on his phone and checked all the social media and disconnected from me. This is Lewis on the camping trip. Doggie, we got coffee. Like what? This is Bobby on a candy trip. Dude, I just shit my pants.

I'm wiping shit all over the campsite. Dude, the shit all of my watching hands and legs and food and everything. I should. I should. But here's the thing. I clean up. I clean up everything. But I'm cooking everything.

So we're about to leave. We wake up the next day. I'm packing everything up because he's got to go. You know, he didn't tell me this, but he's got to be back by 9.30 because he has a podcast to do. 11 a.m. He's a exaggerating cunt.

I want to point out what an exaggerating. You said you had to be back in my house by 9.30. So you get back to yours by 10.30. He's like, uh, wait a minute. Do the math, fuckface, before you call me out. You said my house by 930 so you could be at y'all's by 10 30 I'm just triple over your words that was crazy is that I'm like you fucking my world dream I was speaking my house by 930 y'all house by 1030 that's what you

tell me I'm wrong you're right tell me I'm wrong you're right do you see how difficult it is now imagine trying to cook a steak in the woods during all this I you also part of the bushcraft party boy. No, no No, his tent is 10 ways 30 pounds and it takes one minute to set up one minute to set up the worst Yeah, you need you need 15 by 15 square feet just to set his tent up my tent was was incredible. I mean, you pulled the video of my fucking tent. I'll tell you the brand right now. What a good pot. I finished the set.

That's what I think was a comment. The comma top four person tent. There's this up one minute set up, one minute set up. Yeah, mine was five minutes. Anyways, it was 13 minutes flat. So here's what a piece of shitty is to Mike So the first day we set up camp Everything set up. We're all ready to go the kids go in my tent. It's not wrestling. They pop my sleeping pad shitty sleeping bed I said that as soon as I saw it

So I go in that night and I'm gonna get that and max is sleeping and'm like, fuck, this thing is deflating. Lewis and his kid are asleep, fucking gone, right? This guy comes by on the KOA little golf cart. I told you guys, you can come here, help me. He goes, I'll be right back, you know, he comes back with a mattress. Okay? like, help me. He was like, I'll be right back. You know, he comes back with a mattress. Okay, 130 in the morning.

There's two guys talking full blast with a mattress at the campsite. Max is talking, no, he's confused. They picked my tent. I'm just jammed this under my tent. And I'm like, well, you know, and Lewis didn't even get up to say, is everything okay? There's people at a campsite. I didn't even get up to say is everything okay I just people at campsite an extra sleeping pad

There's people at our campsite. He has an extra sleeping pad this selfish Fucking cock sucker. That's right doesn't even get up to go dude. You okay? It was a lemon. I was teaching my son. I was like James always have extra make sure you always have extra Because what happens now for our sleeping pad pops then we're Bobby. Do you want to be that out there? Max crying and Bobby screaming into the midnight air everything's gonna be shit the fucking nightmare You don't want to end up there like you do Pretend you're asleep baby boy life. You do. Pretend you're a silly baby boy. There. Which one there? Pull up a video of it being set up.

That's a video. That's my time right there. That's a real last time. And then if you got to get 13 minutes, you can pull up a video of Bobby's 10 things set up. Now what's the difference between your 10 and his 10? Mine's bigger and easier set up. I don't know. It's not true. If mine is my 10, you can take to a campsite with max like KOA, but I can also use it because it's ultra light. It's made of a different fabric.

I can also use it for bushcraft party boys to go, you know, that type of camp, primitive camp. But I will just say that I know my 10 weight is 14 pounds, yours is way six pounds. I mean, my weight, my tent weight is under three pounds. You're carrying an extra 120 pounds of weight on your body, so I can afford to carry an extra 10 pounds of tent. That is just a vicious, vicious thing. I mean, literally, it's vicious to say that after you know what we

went through this weekend. Can we watch the set up videos? I don't know, mush. Ready? Okay bring it up. You don't like it but mush is timing. I like special thanks. I like your hat. Oh, this is getting it out of the box and everything. Jesus Christ. You can find out. you can find out. That's it. That's it. That was come on much.

I mean, you're killing. Is there a bar in there? Oh, it's just a pop-up tent. That's it. It's a fucking ghetto. It's a ghetto. It's a broken house. It was...

This is a fucking Dominican condo. Yeah, it's a Dominican condo. You can see them on the west side highway on every Saturday and Sunday. Alright, I'm gonna bring up my tent. Oh, of course, it killed my tent because you know, you were trying to sabotage me. I'm not trying to sabotage you. I wouldn't have sabotaged you.

Why would I sabotage you? There's my tent. Look at the video. Seven minutes long. Look at it. All right. So here you go. He's taking it out right now. It's at a minute. All right. Look. And it's at a minute. Wait. Okay. Bang. What if this guy just shit his pants look at his Daddy and much are both funny today

It really so Bobby they're skipping through different parts of the cell. I'm just going it's it's five it's a five minute setup Look it. It's a four-minute setup one fucking That's look at that. That was a huge five minutes. You were popping and sweating and shitting. Look at that. And that's how I feel. Look at this.

Look at that. Bobby spilled that of every side of it. That's not true. It's a three-person tent. Go fuck yourself. It's a beauty. Look at that. Me and Max fit so good in that tent. Go back to my

tent. I feel like you're in your tent stinks. My tent's dope. Go back to my tent for a minute. Look at all the look at all the air you can see. The stars, the air that comes in. Got the rain fly. Look at that. Let's see every tent has a rain fly. Sub saying a rain fly because they've accessory. You didn't have a fucking rain fly. Yes, I did have a rain fly. You're fucking cunt. Don't get mad about not having a rain fly. I have accessory. You didn't have a fucking rain fly. Yes, I did have a rain fly. You fucking cunt. Don't get mad about not having a rain fly. I have to go to my tent. It has a rain fly.

Check out the item list. I get mad. You don't have a rain fly. You guys are so annoying. This is what you talk to each other. I bet this is the whole league in sound like. This is the best part. I can't let you put a weekend.

I can't. Well, this is this is what I had this enough. I let's name three things that I liked and three things I didn't like, okay? All right, how's that? All right, I'm gonna go three things I didn't like. Number one, Lewis is out a dialogue of just complimenting himself and telling it is mind-boggling

annoying. You need to be a better friend and compliment me more than I would need to remind myself and use put the call positive affirmations Robert. It's actually. I got a step in here. Nobody is more positively affirmative than Robert Kelly. He reads every day.

Lately daily affirmations. Thank you Michael. He forces affirmations on people. Let go and let God. Yeah. God damn right. Thank you. God is real now number two point point Bobby on that one Number two There's always an element of fucking going to jail or being murdered when you with the

There's always a fear if you go into a There's always a fear if you go into a hand of ferds or You go to a gas station or an ice cream place or at a campsite that Lewis some will say something like some will Something will help throw a knife and it will kill the kid or some will say them play the music too loud and Lewis will go over and go I'm gonna fucking murder and you're gonna go to there's always that element where what moment was scary where you felt like you were going to go to jail. Okay this time when I looked over and I saw two seven year olds throwing knives into a tree and they were bouncing off the tree and landing back by their feet.

And vice was, hey guys, use your reflexes to get out of the way. That's literally the answer, Bobby. Yeah. How about it? I try to catch them out of the air next time. So, so that's my thing. Give them in the tree, but number one rule is get them in the tree. Number two, if they fling back towards you

Don't let them hit you. I don't know where there's no other fucking secret here Bob. I'm going Lewis on that one I'm gonna come back to this after this second one, but the third one is that Lewis is Lewis says that I'll do whatever you want me to do. Just tell me to do it. Right? Like Lewis would have cut the stakes. He said that. I'm sorry, God what? Lewis would have cooked the stakes

if he told them to cook them. He said to me, I will do whatever, just tell me to do it, I'll do it. Whatever, we heard him say that, correct? Yes. Okay. him say that, correct? Yes. Okay. He woke up Sunday, uh, money morning, and I'm, I'm literally preparing everything. I'm packing everything. I'm getting everything ready. I'm, I'm, I'm literally been working since I got up to get him out of there in time to get him back to my house

so he can get home to do his podcast. I feel like we should try. I feel like we should be calling a help line for him. I feel like we're watching him kill himself. I hope it has LSD in it. I hope it's fucking. So he goes like this to me. Yo, Darryl, we got coffee. What?

He goes, yo, I love some, we got any coffee. I go, yeah, the pot's over there. You got to clean it and you know where the coffee is, you got to heat it up and, you know, he goes, he goes, ah, fuck that, I don't want to do that. I go, okay, because I'm doing something and I'm about to shit my pants. Again.

Yeah, this is for minutes. This is for minutes, it's for minutes. Bobby about to shit his pants. So, so then he goes again, this is a guy who said, whatever you want me to do, I'll do. You know, can we get some coffee? You get some coffee? I go again, it's over and you gotta clean the pot.

He wants me, you know what that means? Did you say pot? He wanted me to fucking put every stop what I was doing. He coffee up water, make him coffee. That's what he wanted. That's not true. Absolutely true. By the, this is a psychotic, I'm glad you said this, Bobby.

I'm glad you said this. This is actually a great insight into the crazy mind of Robert Kelly. Now, he took that as me saying, I want him to make me coffee. No. I said, oh oh shit, is there coffee? And that's it. And what I say, hold on, what exactly you said? When he had pointed all that out, I looked over, I realized that it was much more of a process

than it had been earlier or the day before, which was to put water in a pot and boil it. This had already been cleaned, it's already almost packed up. You're putting shit away. And then I went, you know what? Now I'm not going to fucking do all that. That sucks.

I'm going to have to re-clean this. And then nothing new with you. And I do it with me. Why did you ask me again? Because I was, because I was thinking out loud, do I want coffee? I didn't ask you for coffee. That's it. Do I want coffee?

So there you go. You go. What did you say? What did you just say? You said, do I want coffee? I didn't ask you for coffee. That's it. Do I want coffee? So, no, you go, you go. What did you say? What did you just say, you said? Do I want coffee? That's not what you said, you're right. You're right. That's it. I don't remember details on my pond head.

That's it. Thank you. So, thank you. OK, now, three things I love about Lewis. You ready? About caring. I think there was things you loved. No, those are the things I love about Lewis, you ready? How about caring? I think there was the things you loved. No, those are the things I hate.

Okay. Three things I love about Lewis. Well, I also have to say, when I really was at that vulnerable moment, the fact that he was just filming me, that he wasn't trying to take care of the kids, that he was just worried about getting me on camera. It infuriated me, but it also, I was like, okay,

at least he has a funny bone in his body. At least, go anyways. Those three things I love, the three things that I love is that, if I say Lewis, let's go camping, he will go. He has no, and I also say, this is what you need to get a tent, get your own tank, get your own sleeping pad, get sleeping bags. And he does it. A lot of people that you want to do shit with, you tell them to get stuff and

they don't fuck it do it. And they just show up without shit. And you get to find it. Above and beyond. I mean, I mean, great sleeping pads, 10 sleeping bags. There's amazing lanterns. Everything I told you to get you got you tell me to get those lanterns. Look, I did tell you to get a light. I didn't tell you to do all my cool, retractable fishing. Well, you brought fishing pole because it's instinctually in you to fish out of a pond and get dinner. Okay.

I go to a supermarket and cook food. Now, the other thing is that you're a hundred percent protected when you lose Gomez. If you're with your kid and he's around, you need not worry about bears, lions, other Puerto Ricans or Dominicans, red necks, ghetto, you know, red necks. You don't have to worry about anybody. Because if anybody fucking steps beyond that thing, he's going at it. He's taking the hit, he'll go to jail. So you're literally fully, I was definitely the wife this weekend. Yeah. Right? I'm definitely the wife.

I will admit that. She kept the guy's love. She kept kept it is tidy. I did I kept that No, when you ask for coffee she cut a fit Yeah, I made a call. I was a fucking cup of coffee, but you know what? She was a little too busy for that. It's fine There really was a very a very husband thing to say Do we have any coffee and a very wife response? It's over there. I'm going to clean right there. That's exactly what a fucking wife would say.

It's right there if you want to fucking glue yourself. I really did turn into fucking dawn. That's a big wrap. That's it. So. So. So. But he also, the, the, the, the, the, his, his father abilities are fucking unparalleled.

He's a fucking great dad. And it's great because my kid and his kid, you know, but we did get a little testy with the kids this weekend. I gotta admit, I had to apologize once the Mac. Yeah, I did too. You had to apologize. There was a couple times they pushed us over the edge. Yeah, well, I was fucking stressed out.

I was trying to upload a dumb file that I had to upload from the woods, which is impossible. That's another thing. He has a whole fucking part. Dude, we're gonna do this podcast. I told you want to do this podcast. I told You want to do my part? Yeah, all of a sudden I'm his production assistant. I got a film on my phone I gotta make sure the sound right

You got it. I have this fucking special lovelier fucking might you can only get this and fucking from this day to this day And this fucking website you got to get this trust me. I got this You fucking upload and this and this fucking website I make it down to 720p and fucking from this day to this day and this fucking website, you gotta get this trust me, I got this. You fucking upload and this and this fucking website, I make it down to 720p and fucking, you're a fucking cunt. And I'm a little like, thank you. My reaction, thank you, you guys said it is too much, Bobby. Mike, I love you. You're my wife. Mike. I do know that. I do know that. That's pretty easy. I'm like, Mike! I do know that, I do know that species. Listen, I, I, I, he goes, he goes, I gotta do this podcast for my thing.

And will you do with me? I go, yes. Fine, I'm, of course I will. Whatever you need, buddy. So then he's like, I gotta get this done. I gotta get this done. Okay, great, let's do it. So I'm like, I cool.

Let's set it up. He goes, I gotta use your phone. Why my phone? I go, use your phone or be on your phone. Just tell the story. Why wouldn't you not tell the story the way it happened? That's what happened. You said you're gonna use my phone. When you were ready to do the podcast in that moment,

I said, I need another 15, 20 minutes because I need to let my phone charge because my phone was very low percentage. I didn't want it to die. And he said, did, why don't we just use my phone? No, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said, no, I said to die. Me said, dude, why don't we just use my son? I got iPhone 11, I found 11 multiple cameras fucking did it, fucking dizzy. Links right in my- I actually did not do that. I, I said to him, I said, I said, I said, I said to him, I said, I said to him. I said I said dude just plug your phone in just plug it in Plug it in I think he just divorced you he goes he goes you can't you can't fucking do that you can't plug your phone

He goes just plug I go plug your phone and he goes, no dude, it's got to charge. I go if you plug it in, it will be charging and filming. He goes, no dude, you can't do that. Can we just use your phone? That's what he said. I'd be disrespected on the show. What? That's another thing I don't like about him. Oh my god He has a chip on a shoulder

Yeah, Bobby tried to eat it. You don't even want to do one thing You like it's like dude that's all the chips and your shoulders My god, you should turn go ahead Fuck you. I hate you I like I hope you fucking die Like you're going to in the next three years. I hope it happens more than later. Oh, come on. That's it. Oh, well, that friendship's over that. No honestly, they can they can grow up and be what we aren't. No, I'm done. I'm not. I'm having a barbecue this weekend. It's done. I'm going

to get him a new friend. Are you having a barbecue this weekend? No, you didn't bite me. Yes, you are. No barbecue this weekend. No, I'm not. I am not James. I'll have a surmount at you. James out of town. I got a chicken to be in town now. I'm not. I am not James. All of us are mad at you. James out of town. I got a chicken to be in town now. I am now fucking. But what chick you got in town? One of my chicks. Which one?

Shut up. Which one? The other chicken anymore? No, no, we broke up. Which one? Shut up, Bobby. Which one? Shut up, Gab.

You don't even know any of them. Yes, I do. No, you know nothing Young one the really young one are all really young come on The one that likes that must have That must as is fucking disturbing nobody likes it. It makes you look older than you are, but not in a good way. Not saying, I'm looking at me, I have bad facial hair. I'm just saying, like you know it's annoying people. That's why you're keeping it.

I know in a weird way, like, but it's like a power move. It's like, it's not as, it has to have the opposite effect that you think, like you want people to like you. And there are a manically, you think you look like an old George Jefferson. No, it's after they find I don't care people like that. I want them to fear me and I think that's the thing I want them to like fucking must ass ain't make people know I'd be like let me see you French account my gruel my gruel buddies from standout go fucking beat that guy up because of his mustache French account and didn't get enough

Thank you Gabby. Thank you Gabby. I like that Yeah, no, no, it's my fish. I know it does, but you know it is I'm I'm ugly. I disagree. I disagree. I believe the mustache is making you ugly. No, no, no, no, I put up a picture of you tonight where you look like a young Tom Morello. That's a fucking headshot from 2003. But I don't look that way anymore. I've grown into an ugly old band and I need to accessorize my face. And I need to fuck it. I didn't, when you said Jefferson, I was like, what the fuck is that? Dude, that is not- That's fucking loose, get Gomez! It's that or Gordon from Cedric.

I'll grow that shit in my mouth. Hey, open on up! Dude, he said to a knee looks apartment in the sky. I can't believe you fucking nailed that. Oh, the minute he came on, I was like, you look like Mr. J. Wow, that's fun. I know, but can I tell you why it's a power move? I know that it makes me debatably uglier, but because I don't care and I do it anyway, it makes me

have some more track of the ladies. What did you read a power move book? You have a lot of power moves you're doing. Yep. Power moves, bro. Your power moves can come across as planned or they're not power moves. See, that's the actual. That's a very unpowerful way of thinking of things.

If you didn't show up to the podcast on time, everybody's like, you're fucking Louis, you just don't know. That's not a power move. You're dependably late. That's not a power move. Showing up late is just sort of like everyone's waiting for me. The anticipation, it's very powerful. Very powerful. You may start.

Having seven minutes of talking about what a fucking asshole you are before you show up. That's not that's the reverse of a power move. It's also been an extra 45 minutes of talking about what an asshole I am after I showed up. That's a power move. It's also been an extra 45 minutes of talking about what an ass while I am after I showed up. That's a power move. Look, Lewis really doesn't me. Lewis has fucking not doubled down. He's caught droop her down on this fucking asshole thing. He's fucking stuck his foot into the pedal and drove that car into the fire and now look at him.

He's he's banging all kinds of rods. It's delightful. I feel like Lewis is going to give his kid that speech from the last Rocky movie. The life going for you. You fucking out. We're going to run the ball. He did. When he's like 12.

Dude, Calta, he gave his speech at a dude's wedding that is one of the most epic fucking speeches ever. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. And I was sitting there talking about like the the trials and tribulations of open mic comedians. It was Embarrassing it would do fucking nip bar gods. He taped it behind my back and showed it to everybody We're doing greatest if you start ripping that fucking bon in the middle of the speed Hang on I'm fucking positive. I don't give a shit man. stopped, I stopped talking about what the fuck people think about me a long fucking time ago. And if you know what, it's free.

It feels nice. No, what did, you know what did, why are you so sweaty? Do you have AC in your house? No, I have AC. I'm not sweaty. I've been using a new fucking fish and moisture as a. Oh.

Oh. I was a glow. The two of you have beautiful skin. We really do. Lewis's head is almost as smooth and as contorted as yours. Lewis has 70s baseball player head and you have old cartoon boxer head. Bobby does look like fucking daybruth though. That's like you do. He does. Louis, don't just redo his joke.

He just said that. No, he did. Yes. He said, oh, you're a dummy. That's why I'm so glad you want a podcast network and you know, the king of swing working comedian, the Sultan of Swat. Really? I just, yeah, he just made that joke.

He said that looked like an old baseball player. No, he said, I look like an old baseball player. Yeah, fucking dickhead. I've already said. Yeah, it's like a 70s baseball player, like a guy that the first guy they drafted from the Dominican, you look like an old cartoon boxer. Yeah, I feel Bobby's just thinking about his next dumb fucking thing because he's a narcissist and whatever's going on in his mind is whatever's going on in his mind He's not even listening. He just looks like the guy that's so admitted to being late to power move people

Yeah, who grows a faggy mustache just to be different and annoy people, right? Like no girl. I never see Louis. I really like you, but please share that fucking mustache Yeah, all of them Every girl that I gave just like please stop the mustache and like nope. Wow, or fierce What's now what did James say when he got home? Did he have a good time? He had a great time. Max fucking loved it. Yeah.

Loved it. Yeah, they're kids. They fucking, they can run around in 95 to 5 degree heat. How about the fucking raccoons? Easy, dude. They're fucking African-Americans. No, the fucking real raccoons that... Oh, the ones that came in the night, I'm sorry. I apologize. I apologize. I'm sorry. You're right. I apologize. I'm sorry. Bobby gets racist.

I don't know what Bobby I'm talking to. I'm talking about we left steak on the table and we came back. We left the bag of hot cheetos on the table and we come back. It was. The Bobby eat the hot cheeto. No.

They they we left because he know because he bought a whole cow. So we left literally four steaks on the table, macaroni and cheese and coins on the cob. We come back after, because we had to go drive around Newberg to find high speed internet to upload his fucking podcast during the campaign trip. That's a fucking, just a typical, anybody who knows Lewis Jay Gomez knows that this type of hijinks is going to ensue when doing something with him. It's going to revolve around something he needs. So then we come, but I don't want to see him. He's getting mad and I don't want to see him fucking fight a tree. You know, at 11 at 11.45 because he can't get this podcast up and the kids crying and all the shit.

So we just go. We go. We come back. There's literally 17 raccoons on the table. Little baby ones, a mother, an uncle, an aunt, and they're looking at us like go fucking. They have no fear. Bobby's honking the horn at them and yelling out the window and they're staring at us, chewing on filet mignon. Yeah, and they're adorable. So you can't even really get that mad. Maybe the cutest animals I've ever seen in my life.

I told Fluest to get filet mignon. He comes back and he's like, dude, that enough filet mignon. They only had. I can tell it was a good cut. I use my fucking instincts. The only had this and I'm like, that's filet man. Yo, what was it called though? It was called something different.

It was a different name. I fit the fillets. No, no, that was a top sir. I was a top sir. It's top sir, which is filet. But he goes to the only at the L.O.D. So I'm like that's a late Shout out you fucking pussy

But great great relationship you guys have listen, it's been this way for how long how long have we been this way? All right, let's do it on each other Lewis's last headshot For sure Yes, it's been this way for a long time, but the kids have made it better. Yeah, the kids taught us both a lot of patience and we also can't actually freak out to that extent in front of each other. The other thing is like this,

like the thing where we both know this, we can't actually like, we can't truly disrespect each other in front of the kids because if one person crosses that line, then the other person has to kill the other person, because you can't be chump that like that one front of your kid. So it's like, it's just like, we, we, both of us have the kid at the exact same age, and we understand that it's like, so we can't cross, there's like just an unspoken thing where it's like, we don't cross a certain line and part of the kids because you know at that point you can't come back. I did what he was throwing the knives into the tree. I was I was praying to hear ting and then just to look over and see Lewis just standing there and not moving and then hey Lou, Lou and then just see him fall face just with a fuck right is chest, you know, but that would have made me happy. I was praying for that. But all in all, wrong weekend too hot and I had

beaver fever. And when we do it again, we have to go in the fall when it's a little more. Why do you think you keep on getting be be a fever fever from good? Because we didn't do anything weird this time, dude. Now I cleaned how, I mean, how I was fucking cleaning like we were, yeah, we were not eating anything weird. Yeah, we, we, we, we get it to the chorus. He gets so mad so quick. Look at it.

True. Lewis, you were pouring the water right on the floor around the campsite, creating mud everywhere. we were leaving creating but we as we were walking one bottle of water I poured out onto the campsite yes one by a quarter of a bottle of water but I was like dude you pouring the water right fucking here yeah on the earth Bobby it rained here all night last that we had a thunderstorm it's not you said go it rained you lying lying lying fucking fat liar liar liar Oh my god fucking liar it literally ran a rain a little bit we missed it it did not

get us it rained more than the bottle the quarter bottle of fucking pot spring that I put in the fucking board he poured a half fucking half a bottle I go can you empty this in the woods empty Empty it over by the trees. He just pours out where we're walking back and forth. So now we're just gonna be walking in mud. And I go, don't do it. He's sitting in the truck shitting himself. I'm walking and I get, I get to avoid this

to a little tiny bit of water that the fucking can't say. It's crazy. That's what I'm saying. It's every little fucking thing. And then I have to be like, all right, dude, well, I guess it's an argument now over fucking mud. Over who cares?

It doesn't matter. It didn't affect anybody. You just shit yourself. There's shit on your hands and arms. You know what? I'm gonna have to give Lewis this one. I'm gonna have to say, you know what, you're right on this one.

You're not fucking prioritized, but you're right on this one. You're fucking prioritized. You're angry about sometimes. All right, well listen dude, are we doing this again? Oh, we done friendship. The friendship's been dead for six years. I'm talking about, we will understand each other in order to make our kids, allow our kids to sell before. You guys are like most couples in America just staying together for the kids

No, just truly I really am just this chubby wife Wow Are we doing this again in the fall in the fall not not one of the taught we got a way to it's cooler You know it'll be it'll be fun Okay, all right. Oh, what always what was it Jefferson's white neighbors name Archie willis Yeah, that's it. You're you're mr. Jay and Tom Willis Tom was that was

By the white guy. Yeah, the one that married the bike rod Yes, first the willis. Yeah, yep, Tom Willis. Well, I have no problem being the wife. You know what, women are powerful. Hey, man, I don't grow mustache. That's the move. That little fucking doubling first show that again. And then we go to watch shit on it. City watch is dripping. All right, Lou, thank you for coming on tonight. We're done with you.

I'm going to go guys follow me on twitch twitch.tv slash pure rattlesnake. What are you doing on twitch dude? I play video games. That's my new thing. What is that? Have you ever affiliated 45 year old man? Yeah. You guys want to play Fortnite war zone.

Are you getting? Are you getting what are they calling when you get money on twitch? I'm affiliated. Yeah. I know. But what do they call that when they like give you? Gay. And they have like a money system. They give you like cheers or some shit like that, right? Oh, I don't know. I have no idea. So when you're playing not, you're just playing

some people go watch you play. Yeah, then I chat with them and I talk shit and I, you know, I try to not say the N word. It's rough. It's like you were a headset when I play. Yeah, it's like, I mean, so I don't have not in most positions. You're like, stop saying the word. I can't just stop saying it. Yeah, no, I don't, people get a little kid screaming at me and I start screaming back at them

and I realize I'm telling a little, you know, 12 year olds, I'm gonna kill their mothers. Yeah, I'm like, I don't know. What games do you play, Calta? Just call it duty. How do you play, Kalta? Just call it duty. Are you playing Warzone? Yeah. Wow, shit, me and Kalta are gonna play some Warzone.

Do you stream? No, I mean, I play online, but I don't stream at that. I'm gonna play. Do you feel jealous right now? I would call, look at Bobby sitting out, he's furious. He's gonna shit himself. But why would I be jealous about him and Calta? Yeah, they feel like they're getting along.

I know they look at Calta and Lewis are very similar in a lot of ways. Well, they have a shitty facial hair. They're bald, fat, shitty facial hair. Yeah, they have no empathy for life. Yeah. No, I have no problem. I was enjoying the conversation. Actually, Bobby, why don't you play some war zone? We'll get a fucking war zone cargo and a fucking old ass boomers. I can't. I can't. I can't. What do I, what system is it? Sony? It's on all of them. It's cross-platform. What do you

play? I called to PS4. Yeah, I play on Xbox, but I'm gonna get PS5 when it comes out. Yeah, that's the fucking shit. I can't wait How do you get how do you get money though? You can make money on that? Yeah, if you twitch stream. Yeah, twitch Look at Bobby the wheel steering later And then Fini plays Fini and uh, yeah, Fini stream trader fucking cannon. Yeah, they uh they both play it's okay Because he said he's not going on the cruise cuz he's scared of COVID No way What cruise Mike show cruise? I'll go on the cruise bring me on the cruise County piece of shit

I don't know. I don't want to do more cruises after this. I've done so many cruises. I did fucking a practical Joker's cruise I feel like you'd act different on their cruise No, that's not true. I'm the fucking man out of cruise dude. I fuck old ladies the best He you know what he'd be he'd be fucking so good on your cruise out of Cruise ships dude I fucking I live it. I'm shirtless the whole time It's good. I'm so much fun of a cruise. He would be you would hit on your dude.

I'm my cruise people. This is my 15th cruise and my cruise people are used to Bobby, Bert and Ralphie May. And now I'm going to introduce him to an angry Puerto Rican. Yeah, I love it. They'll love it. I'm the only person saying racist comedy now. Your fans are going to love it.

Well, yeah, they probably will yeah Also, I put up my YouTube my special on YouTube for free if you guys want to go watch it I released it like a year and a half ago, but you know, it's been a while so now it's free on YouTube YouTube.com slash Lewis Jay Gomez comedy Yep, there it is right there Lewis Jay Gomez presents Lewis Jay Gomez. It's actually great special. You should go check it out. Thanks Bob. It's for free. Um, which is amazing. You can get that for nothing on all those platforms. Go check it out. Only guy doing racial stuff. Only guy doing racist comedy. You know, racial racist racist. Sorry, racist comedy. It would fucking murder me if Lewis was the one to bring back edgy comedy Yeah, I have I created a gas digital skankfest

Legion of skanks were the only people who keeping edgy comedy alive plus you were heading your time with the Jefferson's bite That was in the 70s Everybody I love you. I'll talk to you later. Love you pal. I'll talk to you later. We you, pal. I'll talk to you later. We'll talk this week, right? Yes, sir. Goodbye, guys. Thanks, everybody. Bye. Yeah. He's a Puerto Rican jugal. Let me tell you something. He really is. And that kid, women love that kid. I'm, I mean, he reminds me. Lewis is like hanging out with me when I was younger.

Sexier, I mean. Just a cocky fucking fuck you. You know what I mean? Everything's an argument. But I'm surprised you haven't tried to change him because his cockiness comes from anger. He's mad at somebody. He's got a chip on a shoulder, but here's the thing about Lewis is he admit he knows he's literally fully admits I have a chip on my shoulder because people fuck with me and they never give me anything. That's why I'm out to prove everybody wrong and everybody can go fuck themselves. So when to me, when somebody admits they're bullshit, I'm in, I'm cool with it. Like when, that's when, when Jerry Seifel did that shit to me every day, don't you hate him?

No, because that's him. He, that's just him. He, that's just to me, is to him. Believe me, me and Lewis, my God, I mean, I mean, the years, but I love him. I love them like a son. I can't help it. And I'm very proud of them. I'm very proud of them because I knew when he lived in a shithole,

too bad, I'm not away from me. Does he now live in a shithole now? Not at all, dude. He's doing very well. And he's, he's, look. There's a thing too When he started he had a zoom microphone little tiny one that he would do his podcast on him and Dave And he I remember I had to go to his house his apartment was slanted the building was fucking Okay, you gotta go through a back door

It was not it was just a shitt in Hell's Kitchen, a block away from me. All like between 11th and 12th, which nobody lives, right? And I remember you just, dude, can you come on my show? Can you do this? I remember I put them on the network and I remember how hard he worked. And I remember, you know, my thing was, I was never trying to be a podcast network guy. I was trying to be a stand-up comic headliner, right? So I had a, I did this, but this was my main thing. He was trying to be a podcast. He wanted to do that. So, you know, to see where he came from and then I remember when he had the baby and, you know, I mean, dude, we did a, you know,

breast milk taste test on the show. Now, he was always the guy who, he found a way to be, you know, look, Dan Soda's just fucking lightning fast, funny characters. Joe Liss was fucking Zingerman. Naper Gatsy would just sit there and wait 30 minutes and just say the most funniest fucking thing ever. Back out. Louis was fucking crazy fucked up, safe fucked up shit, and always trigger people. You know what I mean? But always trying to be funny. Even me, you know, So he's, you know, he's, and it's gonna stand,

it drops away a little bit when you're off the mic, you know that. But this weekend was, this weekend was, for me, was like, I was sick, I was hot, I was tired, and dealing with a seven year old is different than dealing with a six-year-old. So. And I was like, Lewis, there was a time where he and I,

it was like a year old, we would fight with each other. Yeah. And then everything was cool, and he was very cool. So I like him. Well, that's the one thing about you too, is you will fight, but as soon as it's an option to get it over with, you get it over. But also, like, we had a good show today and we talked to Lewis and he was good.

And I'm, I feel like next time he goes on a podcast, he'll be like, I'm fucking cow that dude's back. And I'm fine with that. I'm just that's Lewis. I'm used to that. Right. Right. Yes. But you guys are very similar in a lot of ways. Handsome. You don't have what? Well, yeah, you're a good looking guy, Calvin. Let's not. You say girls love us. Well, I don't know.

That's not what I was talking. I mean, it's not that, but I was mostly saying that with your, you have something I don't have. I have, I have empathy. Like I care too much. You don't, you can shut that care button off in the neighborhood. I usually care and then I stopped caring.

Ooh, why is that? Cause I realized what life is. What's life? Don't care about other people's shit. They have no shit. Is that your positive? Is that your positive set? That's a bad formation. Yes.

That's it. Let's put that up. Well, let go, let go of other people's shit. Let go of other people's shit. Like my boss one time was like stressing out. And I go, what's wrong? He's like, doing budgets. And I go, you want me to help you out?

I go, yeah, give me a legal pen to pen. I'll be back in 10 minutes because what are you gonna do? I go, I'm gonna walk around the building. I'm gonna write down eight people you should fire today. And he's like, what? And I go, I will tell you, honestly, eight people of the whole building will agree. You should have fired a long time ago.

And he's like, I wish I could just do that. Like you, I go, yeah, you can. Just fucking do it. It's on you now. You want to go to get it done and go to bed? It's over. Yeah, that's it. And it's on it. It's got a bed. That's a skill set.

That's a thing came naturally. Hey, guys, I just want to say Kenny, Northwest Ken's father passed away. One of the guys that's always in the jerk off party and he's always prevalent in the chat. He's one of our baby ladybugs. It's always here for us and the boat in the show and his father passed away. I wanna say sorry buddy.

You know, me and Mike both had that happen and we both went through it. Oh, I was like, my dad's not dead. Oh, you dad's not dead So is your dad dead mush you jinx. Yeah memory push them all the room Well, he's triggered by roofs Gabby's dad should be dead from all the drugs and rock and roll shit. My dad is somehow alive and well and no one can explain it I'm a man who's got a lot of money. I'm a man who's got a lot of money. I'm a man who's got a lot of money. I'm a man who's got a lot of money.

I'm a man who's got a lot of money. I'm a man who's got a lot of money. I'm a man who's got a lot of money. I'm a man who's got a lot of money. I'm a man who's got a lot of money. I'm a man who's got a lot of money. I'm a man who's got a lot of money. I'm a man who's got a lot of money. I'm a man who's got a lot of money. I'm a man who's got a lot of money. Take care of your business, we'll see you soon. All right, whenever you can get back, come back.

Very, very sad. I hate when that shit happens. We gotta read the names though. The name, we have, oh my God, so far away. Oh, I can't wait for the third one. Oh God, I can't, okay, ready, here we go. Are you ready? Sean Martin, want to welcome you

who attend 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 or Reanna Peterson come on on the yeah, no fish but the walk a lot I can't watch a cause box what I'm impressed defects What? I can't watch. I'll catch by quiet. I'll impress the facts. I'm impressable.

WD, those are my favorite titties. Hey, you knew. Justin Howley. How are men? 10 bucks. 10 bucks. 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10 bucks 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 So why is that? WD 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 it's a 10 gun salute

Pink 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 You get a 10 gun salute for 10 dollar man Chad Zumaq out with a Chad bank because he wanted to hear the podcast Chad, I don't feel bad man we love Chad the podcast. Chad. I don't feel bad, man. We love Chad. James. We move.

We va. Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,

Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,

Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun,

dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, Joe the banker. What the fuck? Joe the banker. Go back up. Let's see. I didn't read that. I want to see good Joe the banker. Joe the banker.

Let me see. Scroll up. Right there. Oh, right this. All right. All right. Here we go. Here we go.

Here we go. Joe the banker. And Gucci. Lagoge. Buckleller. Lister. Gucci of Lollister. Gucci, McAllister.

Gucci. I'm going to shoot my pants. Really again. I want to say this Chris for. Seven guns a loot Jesse Kramer Fernandez And we got my favorite Ford GT, baby. Thank you guys.

Patreon people joining up. Culture and Kelly. Every night we are here kicking ass one of the best shows to come out of the pandemic. YKWD. On we do on Tuesdays, but it's basically countered, Kelly. Let's just be honest.

But listen, tomorrow, big show, today big show. I mean, we had the reg on today, one of the regs has been on it a while. Tomorrow, I got to tell you, I asked you in the text, you didn't answer me back. That's my mom. Yeah, you did. I asked you in the text you didn't answer me back. It said my mom. Yeah, you did. I booked somebody for next week on the show that I'm so fucking excited about. Yeah, but you didn't tell us.

Today, Louis J. Gomez tomorrow at Jordan, Norton, who's got an office cell phone, office desk phone from 1985 ring into the background. So, someone's trying to nick a delivery and that's not for me, so I'm getting that. Oh, good for you, passive aggressive, fucking angry guy. I'm really, I know you are. We don't need to hear it. Your blanket is bugging everybody.

You are, that's a dead body. Oh, good. Hello, Mustafa. Next week on the show, from 90 day fiance. Big Ed. Fuck you. Oh my God. Wow.

I'm so fucking excited. What day? I don't know, I got a text from tomorrow on figure. I didn't know what else plans. Do it Wednesday, Wednesday. Get them Wednesday. All right, Wednesday is. I don't make sure.

Wednesday, because we have Jessica Kirshon on Monday and on Tuesday, Gabby. It's not set sail. He came on the air and sang come sail away with us Come sail away come sail away We're not in that band that has AIDS and there's another guy who's gay and how is he not the gay one? Who's gay and who has AIDS? The what Chuck I think was had AIDS I interviewed him to I just earn a Chappanozo He's a drummer. Okay the drummer, but who's gay? I don't know. I don't remember the effects

This is the thing about I said this before to Gabby and I've said this to many times before Gabby's a singer so she sings the many times before Gabby's a singer. So she sings. You cannot wait anytime you sing around a singer, they always have to chime in. You know, you can't. She has to chime in. Chuck Minas, it was the answer to both those trivia facts. Oh, there you go. He's gay and has AIDS. Yeah, imagine that. Michael, you've got a Somalian pirate. I mean, she's one. Oh my god. Are you kidding me? He didn't get a blood transfusion in Haiti. I don't know what you want from me.

Did he? No. He wrote a book. I'm not outing him. I'm saying. Chris. Anyway, that's what the end result that Wikipedia said. How do you already just you just happen to know that I see on? No. He's a cool call. Lou just said speaking of Jay and Aad's Norton's on the mark. Oh my God. Oh by the way, Lou, I think Lou and I are going to get to go on a date soon. What do you say? You're married.

You're married. You're married. You're married. This is live. It's on the air. It's being recorded. Why do you have to cockwalk everything that I do? I'm not cockwalking. I'm fucking helping Gabby.

Are you dead? Are you reading a text? I'm reading a text. Okay. She couldn't ask you. Read it like this. Read it like this. Holy E.T. fingers.

I know. She can sing a fuck a friend from the other room. Holy what time you do back on the closing counter ship. Yeah. I know. Help me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me What happened? Is she there now? Yeah, she of course she's here. Can I just throw something out there? I don't want to start any trouble or anything. Just maybe she's not coming on.

No, that's fine. She could remind you to remove the box of shit from your car before you go to bed. Oh, right. She made you close. She made you close. I got the slushies. Do you go get it? I'm not. That she made you class. That she made you. I got the slushies.

You go get a five. Have Max get it. Tell him let's get this hot box and shit. It's not my bottom chocolates and have a proper way. Hey, look, we learned he'll eat anything on this show. Do not let him do that. You're the one who made me shit in the thing! You're... What if why don't we just wait for somebody says,

Hey! No, you can't. That's not how it works. You have to see it again. You can't just save shit and then send that. I'm gonna ask for it. I could have freeze the shit. Let's freeze it for next time. But that's not gonna help you for then. Whatever Mike, find your business. I'm worried about your health. That's wrong.

I want to make sure I throw the shit out. You can't just take it out of the car. Will you keep the tub aware? You want to wash the tub aware? I buy. I hope it's tub aware. Like from a Chinese restaurant, We just throw it away now. You should film you getting rid of it though in case something hysterical happens again.

What do you mean? Like what happened at the camping? It's just when they're being great. If it ends up on a squirrel, the squirrel runs around your car. I just want to see you go out to your car to get it. And some guy ambushes you and try certain robs you and grabs the runs away. That'd be so great. That'd be awesome. That'd be so great. That'd be so great.

I'm going to put your address on the internet and see what happens. That's why you and Lewis would get along. You really would do that. Just for the bit. Don't talk about it. No, I would say mail it to Lewis and right pot on it. I guarantee you smoke your shit. Hey, did you see the picture of Gabby on her Instagram this week?

No, which one? I bring that up in the bikini. I didn't see it. Don't bring that up. Oh, yeah, bring it up, Mike. Don't bring that up. Why? What do you want? I'm just saying you look good

No, the one the first one. Yeah, not that one the first one. I mean she looks like a super model and I would say right there Right there. You're in a hamption ten. I Am a supermodel Scrolling the guy's good looking to who's that? That's my roommate. Oh my god he shredded. Look at that. I know. I mean, Gab looks good. Yeah. I mean that twat bone looks a little weird sticking out like that, but I have a picture of everyone choosing that Disney movie. What Disney movie? You're in a movie? I'm not gonna share it or I'll show it to you. You're in a movie, Gabby.

I was in a movie, but not a Disney movie. What movie was it? The one where I give birth? No. How do I share it? Oh my God. You're helpless. You're out the way. What is it? It's a picture. I don't know.

Where is that? Where's the share screen button? Down the bottom. It's a green share screen button. There's share screen mark right there. It's share whatever you want and then pick it. I got to find it. What are you talking about? It's right there. I got a on, I'm just. I'd be funny if we just mic jerking off and or cup. No. No.

Yeah, I see it. That's her upside down too. My toes are holding those buckets. Aye, aye, aye, aye, Mike. Well, another good show. Lewis is a sport. I'm sorry that we are relationship and noise everybody Yeah, well, I mean it worked for mr. Jefferson and Tom Willis, so buddy. You are fucking you are that that was FBI Profiling that fight when you said that I was like I didn't I was like that's kind of stupid and then when you brought that fucking

Mammush I've never seen anything like it If that doesn't get photoshopped. I don't want to see anything photoshopped ever again I mean really all you have to do is take the hair off and it's Lewis I've been told Lewis's hair grows in like that. Is that correct? Oh, yeah, absolutely. That's is he has Or shit genetics I have terrible hair too. I'm not. Is that correct? Oh yeah, absolutely. That's his, he has, or shit genetics. I have terrible hair too. I'm not gonna make him one of it. Oh, absolutely.

We know you look like you have mange. You look like you should be adopted in a fucking pet store. Hey, real quick. Do you know what you're doing with Max for the fall for school yet? We just had that conversation, dude. They're saying they go in for a day and then they're out for school yet. We just had that conversation dude, they're saying they go in for a day and then they're out for a day. No socialization, no lunch, no recess, no touching, huh? I'm just keeping my

kids home. We decided and then during the show, they just announced that they were delaying at at least two weeks right now. I think that we're going to actually try to hire a tutor. Yeah, I mean, I have a, my daughter, I think we'll be fine with her. She can go online. My son, I think I need somebody to maybe tutor him because he's a freshman in high school. You need to learn shit. Yeah, I think that we might hire somebody to come over and just help him get through his work.

Yeah. You know, see if there's a young college student or maybe a, you know, maybe somebody, because, you know, college is, colleges, I mean, they're dying too. People like fuck it, you know? That's true. I don't hire really good looking. Don't hire a really good looking tutor. We do that and It's very distracting. I'm not gonna.

Oh, by the way, if we cockback my day with Lou, I might be going up to Philadelphia. Is what I was. What? Birch doing a his tour and he's got a tourist hop in Philadelphia. All right. That's great. So you're going to go up there for a night? Well, I'll probably make my way through. I'll probably come see you first and go over to Philly. That's great. We are gonna rent the car. What are you gonna do? Probably have somebody drive me Really? Yeah, well if I'm available, maybe I'll go with you.

Oh, that would make me so happy. What are you doing? Don't you look us. In fact, let's plan that. Well, I don't know if I, I gotta make sure I can go. I just booked an, I just, I'm booking a, I might have just booked something that's, I can announce next week that's pretty exciting. Comedy.

Yeah. I'll text you here right now. I booked a couple of things today too. What? Voice over stuff for a big company. That's awesome. I wish I could do that. I got a voice over agent through your agent and she had me do two things and never called

me back. They give me a voice over stuff all the time from the agency with no direction. So I'm like, what am I supposed to do? And I'm like, I read it. I'm like, okay. And I just read it like an announcer. And then I'll get notes back from the director. More this guy and less this guy. I'm like, oh, there's never worked. But this thing today, I found that it was for big company. And I can't, I said it is, but I did one read, send it, and they were like, yes, we'll take it.

Wow. But all right. I just texted it to you. So, was it an apple? It's apple, it's juice. It's more than an alley is apple, it's more than an alley is apple juice. It's a little bottle of liquid. And I'm not drinking it.

I only have it because when you bite the bottle, it makes an always like an apple. Oh, I never knew that. Isn't that fucking amazing? Wow, I love it. I swear to God, I saw it on YouTube and I was like, this bullshit. And I finally found the little bottles and I bought it. That's why it's in here because I did it on the show. Is it just plastic on there?

Yeah, it's like a couple of layers of plastic. It's like how did they, how did they develop? Like how did they know? I've freaking me out. I love it. I love it. That's so, do you have a butt? It's what I like.

Look. There's no way. You have to have a butt. There's no way that's true. Look, look, listen. There's no way. I swear to Google, I must to go moosh. Oh, much You're gonna what you call him?

I said Google it much, but I really just call the mush goo He's a Google it mush like if you Google it if you Google Martinally you Apple bottle and you'll see a bunch of people fighting it All right, I'll make it wait mush is mush is not aroundh is not around these days. He's wrapped up in that blanket. All right, well, this has been one. Listen, great show tomorrow night. Jim Norton Thursday. Well, I mean, I'm excited. We got so much. Oh, wow. What's up, go? What? A comedy show? Oh my god. You can't say nothing. You didn't say you said somebody said, comedy, you're acting. Yes. And you said comedy. So I said, a comedy show? Yes. It's a little. I want to know. Text me. I'll just tell you. Hey, my computer's about to die. Yeah, where are you? Are you getting evicted?

I'm in Vermont. Really? What lake? I don't know. Like Champlain. Oh, yeah. What do you want? I just texted you guys friends. Friends plural. I'm with three friends. Girls. Girls and one gay man. Why don't you ever let us see the girls?

Because it's not of your business. I let it go back to your little fire. You're a cockwalk. Then he is. If I had a bunch of good looking guys, you really go check out my friends. I would love to see that. I'm hooking Gabby up. I'm trying to hook Gabby up with somebody. Me too. Another lesbian. Gabby would be the worst lesbian ever. Except for those fingers. You could finger-fuck six people at a time.

Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. Like, did you ever see that music with a guy pulling? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did Pull it up right it's called up. It's a what is that? The machine The me just go my computer is gonna Let it die I have to go to bed Okay Here it is ready. I got it. I got it ready ready. You ready for this? Here it is right here. This is Gabby's fingers

You ready? Oh, we had to say we're ready. Yes, I'm ready Are you ready? We're ready. Oh, shit. Can you hear it? Yeah. Kind of. Can you hear it? Vagely.

You didn't just about it, unfortunately. Now we're seeing the wrong thing. I don't got anything. Is this worth it? Is this worth it? Is this worth it? This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. This is I

The Gabby's fingers, but I love the see Loki singin Maybe it wasn't worth it. I love you guys. Kalta, see you tomorrow. Bye, buddy. What the fuck is that? It's still going. You can follow me on Instagram, at Gabby is Brian. I go live on the stands Instagram account every Wednesday now, 8 p.m. So tomorrow night at 8 p.m. and I have a podcast called Una Bash podcast.

And I went on last week and you ignored me fully Which you had three people in the room and I was commenting and you just blew me off You I ignored you on what on your stupid thing Were you really yes, I didn't see it the mic cowd. Hey was going on everybody mic culture in the morning the number one rated top 100 funny podcast in the world. Give it up for Mike Calta. The only you can make, make it take it away from my award. Top 100 most number 90 host in America, number 92.

Number 92, most important talk show hosts. The number one show in the west coast of Florida and some of the east coast, definitely the top and definitely the bottom. Let's call it the shoe. Are you doing me? Because at least you don't need me. At least you don't make me sound like a retarded Rocky when you're doing me. Most you'll see it tomorrow. What do you got? I might be Suarez on Instagram. Yep. And we got everything on my. Yep. But also follow the show at Waikidood podcast on Instagram.

Halter and Kelly on everything. Social media send us everything. Where do they send it? You make something will buy it. Send it. Waikidood at gmail.com. All those, Yes, and Photoshop.

Make sure you check us. You guys the best fans of the world will see you next week. You know what dad? you do at gmail.com all those yes and photoshop make sure you check us. You guys the best fans of the world

we'll see you next week. You know what dad?