Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Bill Dawes, MMA, Jiz in My House

Episode Date: January 12, 2011

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What's up? Happy New Year. Merry Christmas, all that shit. It's been a long fucking time, I know. Since I did a podcast, I was on vacation, and then back in Boston for Christmas, and there's no excuse. I'm a hunk of shit. But I will be doing them once a week now. I'm back in Boston for Christmas and there's no excuse.

I'm a hunk of shit, but I will be doing them once a week now. I'm back in it with the fucking, you know what dude? Podcast. So, um, today I've done the last one by myself which kind of fucking I was kind of boring just me talking to myself So I don't think I'm gonna do that anymore unless it's fucking unless I'm just crazy and in my head And I need to fucking talk to myself and pretend you guys are listening, but this week I have a very special guest actually a neighbor of mine very talented motherfucker. And there was a lot about fucking MMA, too, is a very funny guy and a great actor, Bill Dawes.

How you doing? What's up? And if you want to, if you listen to this and you want to put a face to the voice, because there's no way you're going to guess it. But it's buildaws.com and buildaws.net. There's two different ones. Yeah, I thought I was fancy. I had two. Why'd you have two? I have no idea. The first one I was on a soap for a while and some crazy obsessed fan made it.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. You're on a soap? Yeah. Crazy obsessed fan made it wait a minute. You are a soap. Yeah, I'm gonna go to your fucking way I was on I played I was on all my children. I played Susan who she's gay assistant Really? Yep in my defense. I got cast because I look gay and And then I play on one life live. I played it. How is that in your defense? Yeah, so so I had some you know you get soap fans or nuts would get these. This one's like I want to make a website for you So I have to really get a website. It's about 10 years old. Right and and then I started writing with Tucker Max

And he had a writing consortium. I don't know. He did a movie book. I hope they serve beer and hell. Yeah Yeah, so I wrote with him right and that was my writing site. That's great both of them That doesn't hit combined. All right, so one which one is which we have the the right bill doesn't as my writing site. That's great. Both of them have about a dozen hits combined. All right, so one, which one is which? You have the... Bill Daweson has my writing. Writing. And then Bill Dawes.com is comedy and acting. It's like the one, whatever the one, the soap.

I haven't even looked at it in years. But so I don't really, my website's like, what Facebook now? Yeah. Twitter, I guess. How awesome, how awesome, or how fucking shitty was it doing a soap? Well, it's not a, that's a heart. You have to do live TV every day.

Yeah, exactly. And you, you just have to kind of, the hard part about substance, you have to hit your mark without looking at it. So you kind of like cheat over and, who you impure. And then you have to memorize all this crappy exposition like, oh my god, that was so weird yesterday when Susan put on the dynamite and try to blow up the entire office. But then you came over with your sister and you guys have been sleeping together which is, you have to say all of this crap is to get to a point to catch everyone up for the past week. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's hard to do, man, so there's a good.

People forget that. Well, it's not, it's not like you work a week to film one show in front of a studio. It's like make a short film every week. And then you know, it airs in fucking three months because they're editing it, make it better. You guys are shooting live TV. Yeah and you're the scripting like for for the most part. Right. I saw to it see dude. I don't know this fucking marks so but and people don't know the mark is I mean in every movie

anytime you do something on film you have little X's and little spots little L's a little piece of tape where you you have to That's why you rehearse over and over you have to hit that spot if you go beyond it Or you look the wrong way that you're out of the light and you fucking shot yeah, yeah, yeah, and subs They don't we do movies they put a little piece of tape mark often right so you can go to the and subs have to move so quickly They don't do the tape really yeah, so you go you're here. You're here. You're here Then you go here say this line go here, so you don't know if he's a tape, you have to just remove that really? Yeah, yeah. So your input as an actor about where you want to go, they don't get a crap. No. They're like, hit here, hit here, move here, and then you're here. And

they don't care like how you do it really if you're actually acting as long as you say the lines and they can hear you, you're fine. Now, now, I'm under the impression that soap actors get paid. Oh, yeah. I would get, well well for me at the time I was right out of school I was getting paid like 1100 a show a day. Wow. Yeah, so that was pretty great. I was freaking the women are hot. Yeah, and then you must get a lot of women fans.

Oh yeah, as a gay guy on a soap opera, all my fans. No, I didn't know that well. Well Kathy Griffin has a lot of fans for, she plays a gay guy on TV. That's the kind of one. But that's crazy. You're in another movie that I saw on Showtime. It was, now that it makes sense to me, but you were filming a movie.

Yeah. And they were filming a documentary of, while the movie was going on. So you were in a movie and you were just sitting there You had this point star on your lap and she was kind of being she was being followed by the documentary crew Yeah, what's the guy's name? His name is Eric Schaeffer. I think this show is called I can't believe I'm still single Mm-hmm, and it's just about being single in New York And he has some like transsexual fetish and likes to get banged with strap-ons and

well, who doesn't? Exactly. So he, uh, so I guess he wanted to do, and he shot this film called, They're Out of Business which is gonna be on Showtime. By the way, my wife just threw up on her mouth. I'm kidding. It's a fucking joke. Don't talk.

It's a joke. Yeah, so it was actually a pretty cool documentary. Was it? It was interesting. I mean, he's one of those guys, you it was actually a pretty cool documentary. Was it? It was interesting. I mean, he's one of those guys. You know, he's very cerebral fucking. He's kind of that edgy, smart New Yorker guy, man. Yeah, he's kind of like a really waspy looking Woody Allen type.

Yeah, yeah, he's like Woody Allen that could fucking kick your ass or fight you, or some shit. But yeah, but you just sitting there with this point stock, and you didn't say a word. So you're like, this guy's a porn star. My neighbors are points are I know I thought you did I thought you would I didn't know what you were doing dude You're sitting there and naked like with this porn star on your lap smiling just looking at her and he didn't ask you Anything he just they just like ghost. Did you like you weren't it?

You're just sitting there. That's awesome and you're just smiling. I was like what the fuck is Bill doing? I can't wait for the women and my mom's bridge bridge club to watch that and say, is yours done a point star? I'm sure they're not gonna fucking that's not gonna hit them on Netflix. Let's watch this single and fucking Yeah, but it was pretty weird and you've you've also done Right now, let's just get this out of the way you're on Broadway right now. You're a stand-up comedian Funny fucking stand-up comedian hilarious funny fucking stand-up comedian, hilarious. That's how I met you, NLA, at the Lafactory, just killing it every night. And then

I came back to New York. I was out there for three months, just hanging off of Pilotsies and nothing happened, by the way. It never does. Yeah. And then I come back and you're living on the my block, and you're on Broadway. Well, Broadway, what's the show you're living on the spot my block in your own Broadway Well Broadway what's the show you're on the show called Lombardi about Vince Vinson party Wow, and it's a straight play so there's no song and dance about throwing the ball or you know, I thought I thought it was Give me the ball coach. Give me the ball No, that crap. So it's pretty good. It's about as about as un-gauge you can get on Broadway right? Yeah, yeah, and who played And who plays Lombardi?

Dan Loura is a dad on the Wonder Years? Yeah. Yeah. And then Judith Light from Who's the Boss plays the wife? That's funny because you brought both of them down. They were at the Gotham. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, and Lombardi, I mean, I just start documenting. Oh, you saw that, yeah. Fucking interesting, man. Really. Interesting shit. I mean, and it was it was kind of sad man the end of his fucking life that he gave up coaching and he didn't want to he just went to the The front office then came back To the redskins the redskins and it just wasn't it just wasn't happening

I mean, he died. Well, he's So funny because a lot of times to do with like I've been and this ties into Jiu Jitsu as well because my Jiu Jitsu train John Donner Her who coaches GSB Yeah, he started when he was 28 and he became he has OCD problems So his OCD manifests in Jiu Jitsu so in 10 years. He was the top trainer at Gracie Jiu Jitsu and Dan Loria I mean Vincent Barney was one of these guys who just that's all he did all he did was football I thought about was football. They want to do is football, his wife and his children are like, meh, very sick and sick.

This is fucking, why couldn't I have OCD? But it's in like food and video games and gizmo.com. Why can't I have it, like manifest itself in something like Jiu-Jitsu or comedy, maybe writing a joke, be fucking hugely successful by now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ah, fucking a. So you're in this play.

Who do you play in the play? I play guy in Paul Horning, who is a packer in the 60s. And he, I guess, I didn't know him at the time. He was his famous sort of legendary playboy and drinker. And he was a pro bowl, football, a whole fame football player. And, you know, so I didn't know about the guy, but I guess I did one audition, the guy And he was a pro-ball, football-fain, football player. And so I didn't know about the guy, but I guess I did one audition, the guy cast me, the director cast me, the director of In The Heights.

And I'd worked with Dan Loria before, which I think is part of what I got the job. And on what? On a show called Years on a Beetle about the FBI files on John Lennon, because FBI was tracking John Lennon the last like five years of his life. Yeah, it was very. Yeah, but that play bomb. I saw a movie, a little clip that you were in where you played a bartender and you're trying to kick these guys out and you walked up and you go, I know Jitsu.

This was like so fucking you. And then you backed away. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I hope they serve Beer and Hell, which is the Tucker Max movie. But which was a stinker But uh, but the cool thing is he let me just if those lines were I was like all in problem line because I think the funniest thing like I Practice Jiu Jitsu which is the gaiest of the of the MMA sports because basically you fight from your back Right, so what am I gonna street fight like a lion that the asphalt come on?

Yeah, usually you know you're on your back and you're open You're a fucking legs up like a big pussy and tell them to come on in and the old fucking triangle, which is I'm gonna Fucking I'm gonna stick your face in my balls and block you in there to you pass out Jiu-jitsu is you gotta be either a fucking man's man. That's why this I can't watch girl ever May because you get fucking so turned on. Oh, it's hot. That's why this I can't watch girl MMA because I get fucking so turned on. Oh it's hot. Oh my god. She was on top of this girl and the short shorts on and they get the sports brawler on and she's just fucking bent over trying to get in there. Trying to get in there for a submission and I was like I was filling up. I was like oh my god.

That's why Dana White doesn't want fucking. I know why wouldn't he want that. That would get so much attention. The ring girls are enough. I mean, I think I think women fighters and it's interesting that I think that women fighters, even in boxing, try harder. They go in there and they don't fucking, it's not like they have a, you know, they're sticking to a game plan. Like you see, you know, these champions now, you know, they're just, they're not, they don't want to lose the belt. They just, they have a, you know, these girls go in and fucking throw everything they have. You know, women fighting is great. It is great.

Because men can just sit up, like a big guy, like big country, for example. He can just sit on you, Roy Nelson. He can just come and get you side control. Just like, with his belly. Yeah Yeah but you'll never see that with the woman they're always moving it's like it's like the flyweight division. Yeah fly way to fucking grid it love watching because it's just fucking non-stop action the whole time. Oh yeah. But yeah let's let's go back to the play for a second how long have you how long has it been running September? So we just had our hundred

Show after opening that's that's fucking Cute Broadway. Yeah, I know it's and for a play for a play about football. Yeah, they've never been a play about There's been like two plays about football. I think they lasted for like a week now in history of Broadway So it's kind of a you know, we were the laughing stock of Broadway like Lombardi really that's like the last not like a little bit it's gonna be a huge hit with David Hyde here and all these stuff. You're cast on a soap opera as a game. You're good at it. So I mean that's every day except what is it Monday? Monday. Yeah. You're black on Monday and that's theater term. And that's theater term. Black Monday means they don't have a show. So you go every day, two shows on Friday, two shows on Saturday.

Two shows on Wednesday, two shows on Tuesday. I show today, two today, and two on Saturday. You have to go and do another show tonight. I did, yeah. And now, is there a lot of lines? Is there a lot of weight and backstage? Not too much. It's just enough to kind of keep me from going,

like, what the hell am I doing with my life? You know it's enough to make me feel like I'm actually a pretty vital part of the show Because I did I did theater in Boston when I first started I did a lot of plays. I did Four dogs on a bone. Oh, yeah. Yeah Like it was like off Broadway be the BCA Boston and it was the fucking hardest thing I've ever done. Oh really? Well because you had the months of rehearsal leading up to the The actual opening and it's such there's so much investment for other people

It's a lot of pressure man. It is and then your backstage and like we're comics man We go out and live or die. Yeah, and if we die we fuck up. It doesn't matter. We can come out of it. We can bomb. Yeah. Do another show or somehow make it funny, at least for the comics in the back of the room. You know, you start here and you go there and you're done. That's your time. Whatever it is, 15 an hour. And even in acting, you get to fuck up as much as you want and they'll just, you know, you can't do again, but theater is a live audience. You have to remember lines, which is fucking crazy. And it's not like you're out there from point A to point B. You come out in the, you know, 20 minutes in and deliver your lines

and go backstage and then you have to be ready, right? To come back out at your mark and go back out and deliver that. I mean, I mean, now you probably into it, but at the beginning, was it fucking nerve-wracking? Well, I went to graduate school for acting. So I didn't even start comedy until I've been acting for like six years, you know what I mean? So for me, it was a different transition,

but I hadn't done a play in a long time, like a year and a half, or yeah, about a year. And so when I first started, it was just like, you mean I have to stand here and say the same shit every night. And it's kind of freaked out. I kind of freaked out for a bit because you know, when you're on stage and you're kind of going on some tangent and you kind of get a little lost and then you stand there for a second and your brain just goes, yeah.

And the audience is there and eventually you're like, so what do you do? And you find some weird segue to get into something else, like you'll always be able to recover yourself. But that happens on stage two as an actor too. You're on stage obviously and your brain just goes, but you have a line and you have a responsibility to your actress into the 800 people. I've never forgotten a line. Oh, yeah.

What happens? Well, the biggest thing that happens in your head, there's like a fairy boat race going by, there's like, it's like the longest, you know, three seconds feel like an eternity. So, you're sitting there like, I mean, it happened to me last week. I was on stage and I don't know why. I was having problems with my girlfriend or something, so I was kind of distracted and I was just on there and I'm looking at the guy going like, what the fuck am I supposed to say right now?

And then your mouth starts talking, because it's so ingrained, but your head is in it. Right. And then that's when you start tripping over lines, they're gonna be like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. So it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little,

but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it's a little, but it reading. You know, it's just, you know, the guy wrote a play and he wants to see how it sounds.

And my acting teacher in Boston, P. Kelly, he got like 200 people at this venue for a reading. Wow. And there was kids in the play, okay? Who was in it? And I think it was Donnie Walberg was supposed to do it. Couldn't do it. He called me at the last minute to fill in i literally got the shit like the day off

everybody else had it for a week uh... aliza doo school uh... mean he had some some actors in it and then the this kid this little black kid who was just like a new actor and we got to this point where i'm supposed to say uh... so you play soccer in school and i didn't say in school. I just said so you know I didn't I fucking flaked on the line. I go you put this kid was such a new actor and he knew all the lines I go so you play soccer and he wouldn't answer me. Oh my god. So I'm sitting there going so the you play soccer He grabs his lapel mic. I mean you were Mike. a mic. Yeah, dude. It was 200 people. Yeah

Which is speakers all over the fucking place grabs his lapel mic and goes in school And it goes over the whole PA and I go you play soccer at school Everybody just laughed at me. It was just my face just turn fucking deep right like oh, I'm fucked But that's a great that about theaters like when you screw up I mean I love the fact when people screw up in theater up it's my favorite like just trying to piss off then because he plays in barry yeah and my character was a fuck up and he would always get drunk and hook up with women and and he was always kind of pissing off on barry so I will try to piss off then Lori on stage yeah like I get on stage

with the football I throw up between my legs, behind my back, I grab my ball. That's all new shit. Yeah, just to see if I can piss them off, because he gets so loud and gets so angry in the moment, and he screams at my face, and it works. You know. I was talking to Colin, he's on Broadway too. That's right, yeah. And he was telling me, you know, the, he gets to go up though, and from the beginning to the end. Yeah, that's like, that's almost like a comedy headlining, you know, they made a comedy out of it. Right.

It's like, oh yeah, it's, it's, and you don't need as many laughs when you're doing a one person's show because you can speak for 10 minutes without laughing, be like, oh, it's, it's a theater piece. It's weird though. His show is fucking very informative. It's definitely a one-man show, but it's funny. Yeah. I mean, to the whole thing, it's joke, joke, joke, joke.

I mean, it's fucking, heady jokes. I mean, you got to kind of know about the Roman Empire and shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some of the jokes I was just laughing because the guy in the suit next to me was like, haha, I was like, oh, that's so funny. The Romans are like that. You know, I have no idea what the fuck he was talking about, but, um, you know, it's, he was talking about like the waiting for the show to start.

Yeah. The fucking sitting out, you know waiting to go out It's like I remember we're doing plays and I know I'm going out in two seconds my mind would go blank Yeah, and I would panic like panic like I don't know my lines. I don't know my lines Yeah, and just fucking that happens to me with comedy, but you can go up there and go fucking what's up? And as soon as you get that laugh you're good, but yeah, is that ever happening? We just fucking went blank before you went out there I'm like, what's up fuckers? And the sooner you get that laugh, you're good. Does that ever happen? We just fucking went blank before you went out there?

Yeah, I did a play one time where I had to start the second act on the front of the... on the lip of the stage. It's like 400 people on the outside to start and do a big monologue about Oscar Wilde. And I was playing the gay guy. And I went up there and it was like a long... And I always thought it looked like rent, like a line, a line of people in the front. And I always would joke about like 525,600 mid, like during rehearsal, I would always sing that as a fucking joke. Just piss off the director.

And then, and then one time I won on stage and all my head was doing was, I'm on the five thousand, and I just sat there for like fuck, you, you see like the dust in the fucking lights from the theater, you know? Like, like a little piece of lint going down Your mind just like looks at the lint and you're up there and it feels like forever And then I just started paraphrasing the entire mind Oscar Wilde decided that he wasn't troubled and he went to jail and there was an auction and everyone's trying to follow because I've kind of like Pub it here. Yeah, people there just think to follow me. That lasted for about a week. I'd been doing this show for like eight months.

And for some reason my brain for a week was like, fuck you. Yeah, the fucking Yips. Yeah, the fucking Yips, like a baseball player. What, now what do you miss? Like when you get to go back to comedy, whenever this run is over. Why still do comedy at night?

So at night, when you don't want to show, you go, okay, where do you apply? Well, I do Gotham. Okay. And I do, you know, I came up at the New York Laugh Factory because I was just starting to open mics and see him in Masada. Yeah, yeah.

Saw him, he's like, okay, but they're coming along, we're gonna make a happen, buddy. So he took me on as the MC. So when I was at the old Laugh Factory, Ray opened for Mark Marin and Greg Joraldo, and I got to open for really awesome comics until it started slowly getting more and more ghetto. And now it's just every night's urban nights, Wendy Williams every time you go there. I mean, have you performed there yet? I did two shows there.

It was great crowds, but it's, it's first of all, people should know that the Lafactory in New York, which is not called the Lafactory anymore, it's called the very sexy Times Square Art Center. Yeah, Times Square Art Center, that does stand up County, but it used to be my favorite peep show. I mean, that's the, yeah. That's the peep show, they used to have peep show downstairs,

which was the movies. Upstairs to the left was the actual chicks. Yeah, we were in peep show. They used to have peep show downstairs, which was the movies upstairs to the left was the actual chicks Yeah, windows and the booth with the plexiglass with the phone like a prison visit. Yeah, then in the back They had the roundroom where you could stick your head in it was just a little little it was a little It was just a little like it was just a little, like, it wasn't a window, but it was like a blacked-out window that you'd put the dollar in and it would go up. And it was just enough room to stick your head in, and it was like a genie bottle, and there'd just be chicks in there, and they'd come over to you as soon as you tip in. And if you had like, threes, you know, ones and fuck threes, ones and fives, they'd and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the ones and the that place was open and it was a comedy club, these like Japanese guys who clearly had been in New York in a couple years, they just come to girls.

Girls? Oh, they were so close. Yeah, because it used to be, it was hot, dude. That was a good one. And, oh, it's so fucking sad. So and the place is wanted, you know that, right? What do you mean? It's fucking a whole thing.

Is that hooker or something? Well, yeah, I mean, people of, dude, you know, that fucking place was a creep zone. And Mafia run, too. Oh, dude dude that place was a fucked up creep zone. People have been killed in that comedy club and I've talked to people who work there and they're like yeah dude there's some creepy shit that goes on. Yeah yeah it's catacombs. Oh yeah. You keep going up and up and up and around. It's a lot. They call the largest comedy club in America. There's five rooms. Yeah. There's like three floors.

It's nice. Yeah, it's so funny that the comedy club literally blocks away from me that I don't work. I can literally walk to this fucking place and I just creep me out. The fucking haunted and the fact that I fucking sucked on a Filipino's dead and gizzed on the floor. That just freaks me out.

But speaking of gizz on the floor and DNA you walked into my apartment tonight. Oh, yeah I used to yeah, I used to bang a girl who lived here and Think her name was Shannon for some reason. I don't know. Don't give the last name but listen The first thing you said you walked in you like I know this place Let's get you go this is a duplex, right? And then you go, and you have to use the bathroom and you fucking know exactly where it is.

Because that's where you washed your fucking hog off. You fucked in my apartment. I have. That's crazy. So it wasn't as nice back then. No, yeah, Dan, you've done some nice interior design work. No, I don't think people expect that from you, Robert Kelly. Oh, I got the bidet and the fucking walk in shower now.

But so you used to bang a chick down, right downstairs in my place. Yeah, she was hot and a total whore. Because the problem was I used to, she went, because you know, when you're banging someone who lives on your block, like I would walk down the street and I would see her like bring another dude into her place and be like uh really yeah I don't know if I'm gonna see her again but you would of course you go yeah only desperate in my

OCD in my 20s was probably just women yeah yeah my mind was still yeah just checks yeah that just fuck yeah oh yeah fuck yeah yeah you think booze and hair enough like that women women and food is my fucking third But so you used to fucking come here literally and fucking And just get blown all of my apartment. Yeah But wait, well, I will say this she was on the pill, so don't worry. You just left it in her Yeah, I was so great. We're walking to my bathroom and dripped out on the floor Luckily, I have the new fancy toilet. So is that the same toilet?

You know, it's weird as you never think of, you know, when you're in a place, you know, when you buy a place or you get a house or apartment, whatever it is, you never think of anybody fucking being a degenerate in there except for you. You know what I mean? I mean, I fucking cranked one out in that chair that you're sitting in.

You know what I mean? But I've now, and the odds of a friend of mine, another comic fucking dropping loads in my apartment, is like fucking astronomical. You know what I'm saying? Now I feel like I fuck up the whole mojo of your apartment now. Oh yeah, I'm gonna fuck. Just suck, I'm gonna think of you and your fucking...

Jiu Jitsu moves. Yeah, yeah, exactly. You fucking, just you standing on one tippy-toe, clenching your ass cheeks together, right with my fucking TV is. That's where it was. Her bed face was on the other side. On the other side. Great. At least my beds, I have to worry about fucking the same exact spot. Fucking. But um, so I mean you've done a lot of acting I mean a lot of

fucking acting you do comedy now do you headline do you go to the clubs and headline yet I mean yeah but I headline didn't know like New Zealand that was New Zealand for a few years it doesn't get me left anything and then I America and then what Canada doesn uh, that doesn't count. Why? No, my fucking grandmother can't have my Hawaii So yeah, I've done a few headlight, but you know Like I did like Salt Lake City Doesn't count wise guys. Yeah America. Okay No, I'm not more intense. Yeah, and so but like a few places, but the problem is you know, I don't really

Draw that much like no one knows so it has to be kind of almost a subscription audience that brings me to another fucking topic too because you're pretty much pretty much internet savvy and in the whole fucking thing it's changed in the last five years where you know and people don't understand that as a comic especially one that's not as famous as, you know, let's say, you know, a David Tell or a, you know, Chris Rock or, you know, even, you know, guys below him too, where they can pack a room. I mean, you can't work as a comedian unless you're selling some fucking tickets unless you're pushing it, putting asses and seats. And, you know, I actually got shit this last week on Twitter that I'd plug my shows too much.

Like, what's the point of Twitter? That's the thing. I guess people follow people on Twitter because I guess, especially comedians, because we're supposed to be funny. Yeah. You know, I didn't know it was my responsibility to make you fucking chuckle on your shitty train ride from Long Island to your crap cube.

I didn't know that I thought, you know, I did my job as far as trying to get shows and that's where you come and see me. And I'll do an hour of fucking hilarious, I promise you, I will be funny, I will try my hardest to make you laugh at a comedy club. That one of my shows. But Twitter and Facebook and all this other shit is to get you to my show Yeah, that's what I've been working on for the last fucking 18 years. That's my job. Yeah, I'm not a professional Twitter Yeah, you're not a Canadian you're not something like nerdy friggin'

Bospectical Jew and LA is like let me do a one liner. Well, I'll hundred I look there's some people that fucking are funny Yeah, they're on Twitter. I give it up for you. 140 characters. You really know how to get to the point. Hilarious. And some guys, you know, tweet fucking videos all the time. And some guys fucking twit, you know, crazy thoughts and shit. And, you know, and I find that's great. I enjoy those motherfuckers too.

But I, I, I tweet, you know, come and see me. I'm maybe I'm not that interesting. I'll admit that. I'm not that fucking. I'm I'm I'm trying to survive every day without fucking killing myself. You know, I'm I'm fucking losing my mind on a daily basis. Okay. And you know, I don't know if you want to see me, really do you want a video blog of me lying in a hotel room with fucking steak and cheese wrappers on the bed with a towel over my stomach watching fucking some shit TV show trying to make it. I'm just trying to make it to the show. But there is a y'all keep in mind is nobody, everyone on Twitter and Facebook. They don't, they don't want people to be happy or succeeding or have fun. They want to be like, Ravokelli's miserable. I'm miserable in my cube. Wow, now I can relate to

Ravokelli. I agree with that. And I think I think 90% of the people are fucking cool and fans. But here's another thing too is I didn't go out and recruit you. Okay, I'm not out there going, hey, follow me. You know, hey, get people to follow me. Please follow me, because I'm fucking awesome. I just say my Twitter name, and if you wanna follow me, that's fine. If you don't, I'm fine with that too.

I didn't come to you, you came to me. And it's like, I wanna know what the fuck they did before Twitter. What did you do before Facebook, before MySpace, before email? What do these fucking cock suckers do? You know they did. They wrote into like, entertainment weekly going, I love that cover picture. Blah blah blah. Just dumb stupid shit that doesn't mean it. They had to just sit there and take it.

They had to sit there and take it. They it. They had to sit there and take it, they'll either go to my show and not like it, or fucking see me on TV and just hate me secretly. And fucking Idaho or whatever, shit state that they're in, and not do anything about it. But now, some get there. Now they have a forum to rag on you.

It's terrible. Same thing with YouTube. You go, like I've like some video clips, I have them in YouTube or years old. I'm not really proud of some of the comedy Same thing with YouTube. You go like I've like some video I mean some of the video clips have in YouTube or years old Well, none I'm really proud of some of the comedy I have on on YouTube No, I'm not proud of any of the shit on YouTube and then I'll have Like just some some fucking troll even a come like you're not funny Why don't you give up or like here a stupider this joke is like Daniel Tosh's joke And what the fuck come on dude? Oh, It's hilarious, it's like you anonymous content.

Yeah. Because I'm out there. I, like, you, they, you should be forced to have a profile. Yeah. Okay, with your address and, you know, shit that you do. Like your job and videos of you being you. So I can go and watch that and comment on your fucking horse shit.

Yeah. And see where the fuck you're at I mean look you gotta take the good in the bag You need a little son a little rain to make a rainbow, huh? but It gets it's fucking gets a little tack and there's another thing too like I have a lot of fans of bus balls and they're funny Yeah, and I if it's funny I'm fine with it if it makes me laugh if it's not coming from a fucking hatred place Or you're trying to get in with some other comic or some other fucking by trashing me, like you're a fucking or some shit, it really, I don't mind, I'll fucking, I'll laugh, I can laugh at

myself. That's what I do on stage. Anyway, it's all self-deprecating, or shit. What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what Jamie Candys deck, weren't you in that? Yeah, I thought you were. Because that was kind of his point, which I don't know if the video

with the documentary capture, but now with the internet, it used to be, there is a certain amount of courage to be a Heckler at a comedy club. Not a lot, I don't like Hecklers, but at the same time, you have to be there in person, be like, hey, fuck you, you're not funny. You have to take it and come back

and the person shuts you down. There's a little bit of honor to that. But you can just kind of anonymously heckle someone from the internet and be like this joke sucks and you're so stupid and you're fucking. I don't even think there's honor in that. I think there's honor in going this guy's not funny getting up and going let's get the fuck out of here.

Yeah. I that's what I would do. Yeah sure. When I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm somewhere you know if I'm at a karaoke bar I get up and leave. I'm not gonna sit there and go, you fucking stink! I'm just gonna go, I'm out of here. These people stink. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I'm gonna move you that sucks, I'll fucking leave.

Yeah, I'm not gonna sit there and yell at the fucking screen or write an email to fucking, you know, go on a paltrow and go, you fucking country, you can't sink. I don't care. Yeah, it doesn't fucking. But that's an interesting point because I did I like did a tweet recently in the tweet with something like come on guys we're late to go see country strong said no one never any time right and that was my tweet you know right like with stupid movie now I'm doing the same shit the Gwenpaltrow the difference is I'm not doing you're not doing it to go on as paltrow yeah I'm not going to act Gwenpaltrow you're not doing it to go on as a pal tro. Yeah, I'm not going to act as a pal tro.

You're not exactly. You're doing it to the people, your fans or friends on Twitter saying the fucking movie blows. Okay, that's an opinion. I'm not saying people can't have an opinion, but the fact that you would fucking seek me out to fucking give me your shit opinion is like, oh, fuck yourself.

Yeah, you know block. Yeah I know and when I did like Tucker Maxx is very hated on the internet and when we did the movie I hope they serve Baron hell all of his fans would just kind of like Like fucking gross herpes virus just spread over onto me and just start shitting on me because I was attached to him Really mean just like oh build odds is soes is so, like, not funny. This guy's terrible. You know, all this horrible shit. And they were right blogs about how I was racist and crap, you know?

Well, you are. Yes. But I wouldn't be. And now, I mean, I mean, well, you know, I mean, I guess we got to take, I mean, I, you know, look, I'm out there. I put myself out there. I could take myself off of everything. But it's like, you know, I mean,

so you got to take the hits. Yeah, and I do. But some of them are just like, they're just like fucking, this one guy said, uh, dude, you, I saw you show the other night. It was hilarious, but it was the same thing you did six months ago. You got to work on new jokes. I'm like, really? At first of all, there was like three new jokes in there. And second of all, I got to have it, what, every six months all I got to have it what every six months now I got to have a new for him because yeah, cuz this fucking like three fucking prodigy geniuses out comics out there That right into hour every six months. Oh fuck yourself. You know hard it is the fucking oh, I'll be like joke Yeah, and it's not like I'm one of my greatest toss it because I'm in fucking Rhode Island and you fuck you

What about the fucking 60 other people that fucking haven't seen me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just like, you laughed, it was awesome. Yeah. You know, it's like, what is Bond Jove? You're gonna come up with a new, he can't sing shot through the heart, cause fuck you.

Well, that's a big thing, like a musician, all they want is the old shit, as a comic, it's like, come on. Well, yeah, it's like, I'm not doing anything off of my last album. The hour that I'm doing now is the new album I'm trying to work on. And hopefully someday that I can get to the point

where I can just spit out a new hour every fucking, every fucking six months. But I ain't there yet, that's fine. But do you really have to call me out? You laughed, right? I mean, were you listening? Did you hear the couple, you know, the new jokes? I love when somebody comes up and goes, dude, the new stuff is cool. Yeah. I picked up on it. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca, espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sinfín de aventuras desperan.

¡Friparás! Huelades de madrida murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea Sarifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com Um, pero sí, pero una cosa que creo que es, but the thing about another thing about that is I feel like I used to engage with these people, particularly during my space. I would have like huge cyber fights. And then again, Twitter fights and I go back and not for a while, I was like, what the

fuck am I doing? And the cool thing about Twitter is at the end of the day, it's content oriented. So some assholes going, at Bill Dawes is so stupid and not funny and blah, blah, blah. You can just block them. And then you never have to hear it Unless you want to creep on yourself and Google at Bill Dawes and see every person who's commented about you And that's that's you that's on you Which is why I think a lot of people are doing Twitter now because they don't even Facebook clicks any asshole can just send you a message on Facebook

Right, you know, you can lead that shit too. You can block them. Yeah, which is fantastic. I know. It's great Yeah and you can block them, which is fantastic. I know, that's great. But another thing you're into too, which is fucking, not surprising, but you know, you're in the Jiu-Jitsu. What belt are you? I'm like a, you know, I work with this guy, this guy John Donner, and I'm kind of sort of taking things a little slow, so I'm probably at this point, probably like a two- two strike blue belt,

right, which is before purple. And I've been doing it for about, it's three and a half years now. What made you get into Jiu-Jitsu? You know, actually, this guy, Takuramax, I think it was one of these things. I was really horrified by violence. You know what I mean? I felt very scared by it when I was growing up.

And, and I think probably because I was really intrigued by it. And so when I started watching the early UFC's like with voice grace, I was like, wow, there's a real science to this crap. And I'm going to kind of ask the other guy, so let me start looking into it. So I got, I started late in like my late 20s, I started doing it. And boy, I gotta tell you, it really changed my life. Before that I was doing yoga, I was teaching yoga. I was all about like, don't judge guys, seriously.

All right. Things about a cloud of love and I was like, fuck that shit. It's a zero sum game, man. And life you win or you lose. If someone's winning, you're fucking losing. So it kind of changed my philosophy towards things. And I mean, I've broken a bunch of fingers, I've broke my nose, chip tooth, and there's something that's kind of cool about that

now. I would never think that 10 years ago, but now I'm like, wow, this is kind of, right, it's kind of fun. It's kind of awesome. Well, it's weird is that, you know, once you get into a fight, or once you get punched in the face, or, you know, the fear of it is over. The end of the fight, no matter if you have a black eye, a broken nose, or you lost, the fear of it is over. At the end of the fight, no matter if you have a black eye, a broken nose or you lost, the fear is over. You know, you made it through. But the other thing now is like, back when I was a kid, when you fought, you know,

he was standing at a park in Boston. It wasn't gangs, it was parks. You hung out at a tough park or car park or spicer park, and that was your little fucking gang that you hung out with and we used to fight all the time. But it was pretty much a fight. You know what I mean? Maybe a full beer can to the head.

A lot of head locks going on. Head locks, fighting, maybe ganging up on motherfuckers, suck a punching. But it was a fight but now it's like you get fucking killed. You get stabbed. You know what I mean, which is a little, you know, it's a little more scary now to fucking be a kid, I think, to grow up. Oh my God. And I would, I mean, I would, you just look at the UFC, a lot of these people like Joe Luzon, like these, the big years, he's from Boston too. Yeah, he's far, he's a beast, but if you saw him at a bar and he was talking shit, you'd be like,

I'm gonna fuck her please, I'll kill you. Yeah, that's what's scary, dude, is that, you know, he's one of my favorite fighters, by the way. But he's a beast. He is a fucking beast. And if you, God forbid, you ran into him at some fucking, you know, fucking cheesy bar on Lansdown Street, and you bumped into him and you were like, fuck you, you fucking, he'd fucking kill you.

Yeah, yeah, he'd fucking kill you. He'd fucking kill you. You know, that's scary shit. Oh yeah. And it's funny too because, you know, we used to watch, I used to watch the early. Now I'm no by no means an expert in fucking, you know, UFC or MMA or anything like that, but I'm a huge fan. Yeah. I'm a big fan.

And I love learning about the sport. I love fucking finding shit out about it and finding new fighters and learning about, you know, moves and strategies and all that shit. But, you know, when we first started watching it, you know, these guys, you know, is looking you a jiu jitsu. This guy was a street fighter. This guy's a wrestler. That guy was Kempo Karate. You know, what was the best one? And it just so happened, Jiu JJitsu. This guy was a street fighter. This guy's a wrestler. That guy was Kempokorati. Yeah. You know, what was the best one? Yeah. And it just so happened Jiu-Jitsu was. Exactly.

And then, you know, now the guys that are coming up no longer are just one wrestler. These guys are fucking wrestling. Yeah. Jiu-Jitsu, boxing, fucking Muay Thai, fucking judo. Yeah, they're learning it all and then throw on top of that the cardio Yeah, the crazy fucking Athletes that they're producing now. I'm mm. It's gonna be crazy. Oh, I know it each each year It's like a whole new hybrid of fighter comes out. Yeah, I mean really I think in the end of the day It the base the big base for for and you can like it or not is really wrestling I mean on the day the people that were recruiting or the people who were NC double-ac champion I mean look at all the guys that Frankie Edgar and great manor and Josh Kacheck and wrestlers are no jokes

Yeah, I thought I thought two wrestlers in my life and got my fucking ass handed to me both times Because both of them were small than me and I thought that fuck it and one picked me up and threw me on my head on a common creed. And I just was like, okay, I'm done. The other one, fucking, literally, I was trying to get him down on the ground. And he, fuck, first of all, were on ice. It was snowing. I had cowboy boots with silver tips. The fucking fag I was.

But he, he fucking came up, headbutted me from underneath. And then took me down on the ground and just fucking pummeled me. And I twisted my ankle. I was just like, I give, I give, I give. Restless have freak strength. Yeah, they do. Yeah, like crazy retard strength. You don't think they're gonna be, there's a different, you know, strong, and then there's fucking wrestler strength Yeah, it's crazy and also the type of discipline it takes to be a wrestler in terms of cutting weight and right a type of yeah

You do now do you have you ever used your Giu Gitsu in a fight? Well actually it was funny. I went to this place called you know this place called a box. No It's some like burlesque show down in down the East Village. And I went there like, actually this is about two weeks ago. And I went there with a friend of mine who's 21. And me being a fucking douchebag in my fucking 30s, I'm going like, oh, a party with my 20 year old and pretend I'm bulletproof. And so we got really fucking drunk.

And there was a server there that we were like fucking with all the time. And I thought it was kind of friendly. And I was like talking shit and I started yelling about this, show fucking sucks. I was being that asshole. You were a fucking asshole. I was being that, I was a block you.

And I was really drunk. And this guy like pushed me. He like kind of said, he said, like, shot and pushed my face. And I went on a show, but I pushed him back. Like, it's kind of like, kind of this. But I guess I kind of got a little open. And then he looked at me like, you're not,

you know, what the fuck am I the fuck? And he took out a cell phone, so I'm sort of banging my face with a cell phone. Really? And I was so drunk. Did I phone? No, okay. There's an app for that.

And I thought it was a joke. So I'm like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, I'm getting myself, I'm getting ready to go. And then at one point, I see him pointing to all the little Mexican bar keeps. And then they start coming after me. And they're like, hey, makers. And I'm just like, let me get the fuck out of the club.

So I go out of the club. And because you know, little Mexicans I can get by. But this big ass like six foot five, probably X football player, Bouncer. He bare hugged me. And he had me like literally like pick me up like a little baby. And it was like hold me like this. And I me like this and I was like he was just calm He was start speaking really stupid like calm down. It's all right calm down

Which makes you even more fucking yeah, exactly cuz you weren't out of country. You're trying to leave Yeah, I'm trying to leave. I'm trying and I'm outside at this point And he's holding a sidewalk and then I see all these like these flaming like gay like door guides I'm like we're getting the cops the cops are on the way to cops away at that point I'm like kind of panicking. So luckily I kind of like square them out. And then he grabs my, I had like an overcoat, he grabs my collar.

Right. And in my drunken state, I'm like, okay, I've been doing Jiu-Jitsu for almost four years now. If I can't get out of a collar grab, which is all fucking Jiu-Jitsu is, it's defending someone grabbing your collar. Cause you wear the gie, then I'm a fucking asshole. So I, you know, I did whatever I could to get out

I ended up literally on my back with my legs up in like a defensive to get to stance like a fucking fact because that was my instinct Right in front of a bunch of gay guy So the guy looked at me like for this, but you could tell he's kind of like how this guy get it get away You know, and then I I stood up and I got out of there right and I Am a huge black eye. I had come to the show and they're like, what happened to your eye? He had a dresser.

Yeah, right. It's an abuse Southern woman. And I got it. And I thought about that. I was like, you know, six years ago, if that happens to me, I'd grab me. I probably would just been stuck there. Right.

And gone to the tombs or something. I would have just been stuck there. But, so now, let me ask you another question. In MMA, not just the UFC, who's your favorite fighter? Well, I'm gonna tell you that, that Frankie Edgar fight. I mean, I like GSP because he comes to the Gracie Center all the time. And John Donner is his trainer who are,

so he comes there all the time. He's a nicest guy. I actually have a bit this kind of based on him because he everyone else you know with their geese or their rash guards and and you can't walk around without your shirt on but GSP so we walk around those little boy shorts and these he's all like oiled and fucking good looking and handsome he's always walk around everyone just kind of like looks at them and I remember I was sitting there with my little white belt the time like an Indian style talking to my friend and he walked

by, my friend goes, oh hey George, how are you doing? Stuck his hand up to shake his hand, George shook his hand and I just was sitting there like playing with the lint on my belt or something and then everyone's like looking at me, I look up and he's just standing over me with his hand down like, hello, you know, hello, hello, and I go, and I go, oh hey, and I want to reach hand and as I do that with my other hand I push the hair back behind my ear Which is like the fucking gayest gesture you can ever do like when a girl thinks it guys Yeah, I'm like, oh my god

What am I doing? And I eat bad I think you're gay No, I don't think dude you do say pier turn me a gay you play the gay guy on TV You the first thing you do when a black eye hugs you is drop to the ground and open your legs And you meet Joe T.P. here and you fucking brush your hair back But now now you said Frankie Egger do you like I mean that's I thought that fight was incredible Yeah, he also trains it center to so you know I haven't a fin a to people are there I used to do I still do my Mike Strockas Fox fighting words on oh words on Fox, where he had a panel.

And Frank Yeager was on all the time. It's right up the street. I used to go up there and sit in on it. And I'd be like the comic, whatever. But yeah, Frank Yeager was there all the time. This is when he was in the UFC, but he was still fighting underground clubs. He would talk about fighting underground fights Wow over in New York and in Jersey and shit and he's a pretty bad-ass Mother fucker man. Yeah, and I know you look at that guy. You wouldn't think much. No not at all, dude

I mean I mean kind of because I Cracked jokes and he would just smile a little bit and I get uncomfortable Because he does have a fucking away about him Yeah, yeah, he's I mean that's he's and it sucks too because he's not he's not a fucking away about him. Yeah. Yeah, he's, I mean, that's, he's, and it sucks too, because he's not, he's not a fucking rampage. He's not a, you know, a Chuck Lydell. He's not, he's not this fucking. He just goes in and he fucking doesn't quit.

And it fucked me up when he beat BJ, because I love BJ, is that, you know, he's got that personality, he's got the prodigy, he's got the crazy, you know, story behind him, Hawaii. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I wanted him to win, man, I was a BJ fan. I'm a Frankie Edgar fan, which is one of my favorite parts about MMA, is that you don't have to pick a side. You know what I mean?

You can like both guys and one guy to win, but not hate the other guy, be like, fuck. I mean, the only case of that is probably Brock. Yeah. I just wanted to fucking lose when he lost. I was like, but it sucked when he lost, I kind of want to win. Yeah, exactly. The first time I picked him to win and he fucking lost, I am the mush of any MMA fight. If I would fight, pick him, go the other way, run the other way with your money, because I just stink. I really can't pick a fight to save my life, but Frankie Agerman, he's when he beat BJ the second time Yeah, and it wasn't the greatest fight ever, you know, it wasn't like You know like BJ Diego Sanchez when he came in and just beat the fuck out of him. Yeah, you know

But it was it was a fight man, and he won and then he and he just keeps winning So I mean you got to fucking give it up. Well, that's one of the things about you, if you see, is it doesn't on some level, it's still like WWE wrestling. Like, if you have a person, like, who's the guy? I know this guy, because I actually rolled, I rolled, I used to roll Eddie Bravo's place in LA, which is where Joe Rogan rolls.

Who, by the way, is a fucking beast in Jiu-Jitsu. Well, Joe Rogan's a fucking beast in general. Yeah, I mean, he's, you know, he's a fucking... I rolled, I don't know. He's a man's in general. Yeah, I mean, he's a fucking... I roll out, I don't know. He's a man's man. I mean, I always say that I say it all the time on my podcast. Yeah, yeah, I'd love for my son to be Joe Rogan. You know what I mean? If I have a boy, I just...

I don't want to be like me. I'd love to be like Joe Rogan. Yeah, exactly. But who's the guy with the British guy with the red-mo hawk, who filed GSP and went five rounds? And he had just been... I mean, that crazy arm bar and he didn't submit. Yeah, that's, um, what's his name?

Fucking, uh, I don't know. Playing his name. But like, I, you know, I meet the guy, and that's, that's a crafted personality he did for endorsements and money. Because at the end of the day, you need money, you need endorsements. And he came with his mohawk and talked a lot of shit,

but then he met him, he's the nicest guy in the planet. And he's very, it's a very crafted. Well, that's the one thing is all those guys are fucking nice guys. Yeah. I mean, I went to USC 100 and literally met all of them. Yeah. And they, I mean, dude, I met fucking rampage.

I met fucking Hoy's Gracie, BJ, Rashad. I mean, Reed Harris, who used to be the WEC, he used to run it. And he just, me and Norm was sitting there. He just kept bringing fighters over and over and over. It was fucking crazy. Dan Hardy is that. Dan Hardy, that's right. Yeah, I mean, he's a, you know, I mean, there's guys that have the it. But then there's guys that are just fucking great fighters are really just can win and, you know, you do want those fucking Dan Hardies, the BJ pens, the fucking rampage. But I mean, I think UFC and, you know, strike forces putting on some good shows too. I mean, there's a lot of fucking good shows. A lot of good fights.

You know what I'm talking about strike forces? The commentators. Who were the commentators on strike forces? Oh, I fucking... Was it Frank Mir or is he... No, Frank Mir used to do WC. WC? Yeah, WC.

Which is now with UFC, which is awesome. Yeah, it's... Oh, I liked it. I liked it when it was a separate thing, man. I liked it was fucking 145 and down I you know because it was this different it was like I know it was just this different little fucking thing that was on on Versus and the fights were fucking great. Yeah, it was his own little thing and yeah

Frank Mir was a great commentator. He got fucking douche because he said I don't I said something stupid and they fucking had to fire him which sucks because he's one of my favorite commentators, you know, Rogan, Goldie, the guy with Rogan, is fucking great, they're both great. It was cool, but was he among the Rogan two in his commentary? He's been getting a lot more leeway to talk shit. I mean, he starts ripping on the officiating, he starts like, yeah, well, you know, he's kind of cool. He'll fucking predict what's gonna happen five seconds before it's gonna Yeah, yeah, I remember when Dan Hendo knocked out fucking What's his name? What's the other English guy's name? Oh fuck I forget Michael Bisming Bisming when he called that shit like

Four seconds before it happened. Yeah, yeah, it was keep circling. It was right fucking bow. Yeah, yeah, it was yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, We big pride fan. I love pride. Yeah pride was great and it's the same kid you're niece of the head we're on the ground I'm glad that they took that out. Yeah, yeah, because I want the sport to evolve. I want it to be Everywhere I want it to be I want to turn on the SPN and and have the UFC on the ticker. I want to you know I mean, it's it's happening slowly slowly, but it's it's because the rules changed they had to change the rules man They had a you can't have a guy fucking me and a guy in the head Yeah, and you know have your kid that's true, you know, you have a watch you have seen a bar Like a restaurant. Yeah, yeah, and then it's just blood pouring out of a guy's head He's he's literally choking him out and I mean he's killing somebody

Yeah, yeah, and there's people trying to eat fucking chicken wings You know what I mean? You can always hear one girl going what the what is that? What's on that disgusting? He's killing somebody. Yeah, yeah. And there's people trying to eat fucking chicken wings. You know what I mean? You can always hear one girl going, what is that? What's on Ted's disgusting shot? Shut up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I, if you sanitize it too much, then it's just boxing again. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean, I think, but I need to the head while they're on the ground as a little fucking crazy. Yeah, but then it stops people from just covering up internal position and just kind of like hanging out there from the rounds over. Yeah, I mean, we do knees to the head. I mean, there's no, there's no need for a

knee to the head while the guys down. You know, I mean, knee him to the ribs or some shit. You don't need to knee him to the fucking head. knee is like crazy. I know. But yeah, I mean, you know, I love K1, I love K1, Alistar Overheim, oh, motherfucker. Oh yeah. Yeah, they're doing a turning now in Showtime for the heavy decision. Yeah, it's gonna be tournament,

which I love tournament style fighting. That's like, you fight, and then you fight again, and then you fight again. Which is all school you're saying. Yeah, man, you gotta keep fighting to get to that fucking, that, I love I wish the UFC would do one of those That's like John Claud van deen blood sport action. That's some crazy shit, man But the UFC just announced I think today that Brock Lesnar and

Junior Del Santos is gonna be the coaches on UFC. Oh really on ultimate fighter. Yeah, which is gonna be it's gonna be awesome Yeah, fucking that's gonna be some ratings man to see Brock You know on Ultimate Fighter, yeah, which is gonna be awesome. Yeah, it's gonna be awesome. Yeah, fucking, that's gonna be some ratings, man. To see Brock, you know, Candid. Yeah. You know, I love the countdowns, but to see him, and you know, he's, you know, Dessant does as fucking crazy too, and they're gonna both fight at the end of it, because Kane's fucking hurt. Is he?

Yeah, he's hurt, he has to get an operation, he's fucking hurt. That's why Junior was supposed to fight him for the title. So that's going to be fucking awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think they're training welterweights, which is weird. Yeah, I guess, I guess I don't want the coaches to be in competition with the people they're coaching too. Yeah, but I like the fact that the coaches are fighting because I like the guys get a little uppity. Yeah, they get a little uppity. It's like,

yeah, fuck you. Really, I'll fucking kill you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That happened with rampage. I know. I wouldn't have much as many factors though. Part of me is kind of like, do they go to the like, we're shot like look guys. We need some rayons.

Can you just talk shit about each other? I don't think so. I don't think so. No, I don't think so. I think because these guys, you're going to stand there, not actors. They're fucking fighters. And there because these guys, you're gonna stand there, they're not actors, they're fucking fighters. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And, you know, there's only so much you can fucking tell somebody. I'm sure that they, there is some, or shit, you know, some stuff that they edit together that make it, you know, they always slam a door and rip a door off. And then you cut to the shell and it's just him joking around. But did you think like Josh Kostak? Do you think that was him just hyping up?

Yeah, he's hyping up the fight, but also, that's putting yourself in a fucking dangerous position because, you know, if George snaps, you're gonna fight, you know what I mean? I mean, it shows you kind of who they are, that's him. You can't just act that shit. You can't, you know, that's him. And George did what he does.

He just, okay, okay. Okay, we will wait for the ring. Yeah. He does just okay. Okay. We will wait for the ring He does sound like Bruce Lee Yeah, but it's I think that it's crazy that you can turn TV on them watch these fights now all the time back in the day You had to fucking go to block bus because like I'm porn at show world. He went like German back room and go like okay Yeah, if you have UFC now We you know, I think it was illegal in some blockbusters. Oh, you know, blockbusters didn't carry it forever.

I don't know. The corner sword, 47th and 9th, I either go to the fucking porn store that sold DVDs too to get that shit. Now it's fucking everywhere. But still not legal in New York, right? It's still not sanctioned. It will be. It will be. Yeah, because if they don't, they're stupid. Yeah, fuck it every but still not legal in the York, right? It's still not sanctioned It will be it will be yeah because if they don't they're stupid Yeah, because the money they can make a Madison school magic

He imagined dude if they come to Madison Square Garden And I said this when they went to Boston. I couldn't make it but Madison Square Garden Imagine being able to walk to a fucking UFC event just fucking right down the street. It would be insane Yeah, it would be a mother Yeah. It would be a motherfucker. I can't wait till they do an outdoor 80,000 cedar. Yeah. That's what they gotta do next. Yeah, they gotta do like giant stadium.

They gotta do something, you know, just huge. Yeah. 80,000 people just fucking in that little octagon in the middle and just seeing, oh my god. Yeah. I mean, I've never been live because like my brother lives in Minneapolis and we like hey, we should go and see you There have you have see there was $600 for like a Now you can get tickets, dude. Yeah, you you get them off the fucking You know you got a you get this ways to get tickets. I went I don't I didn't pay for them because Dana gave you know

Me and Norton tickets for free. We actually sat in Dana's seats. I'm not bragging. But I went to two events and it was definitely the fucking crazy. I actually saw you. I was in the, I actually saw you in a UFC. I'm like, yeah, you can see me in the crowd. That was sitting behind Mandy Moore. I can't remember that. Next to the lead. And who are you next to? The lead singer, the chili peppers. That's awesome. Yeah Yeah me and Norton just fucking two bald assholes just cheering But yeah, it was fucking one of the greatest things I've ever done. Oh, I want to the greatest live events Yeah, the music the fuck away and then Bruce buffer and well Fucking oh, he's great.

And they don't show him introducing the guys. When he does it, he scares them down and points in their face. And he does it. He does it. He's here to voice. Yeah, they hear the voice. But if you see him live doing it, he's like yelling at them. Like in this corner, he's just yelling at him.

You know, 155 pound blah blah just scream and give it up and he points in their face it's crazy he's fucking great yeah it must kill his brother you know what I make is he was the shit back then yeah unboxing you know oh you're ready you know who what was last time we heard that yeah, you're ready now It's fucking buffer man. He does the buffer 360. Have you seen that? No, I don't see it. Oh, he does a fucking complete 360 in the air you got a Google if you haven't seen the buffer 360 you got a goot He fucking sped hilarious rogue about him to do it. It's fucking so funny, but Yeah, all right man. Well fucking I guess that's it, man.

That's a fucking hour podcast. If you don't like that, then go fuck yourself. If you want to, I give you a little extra, the people listening. If you want to check out Bill Dawes, you can go to your on Broadway. What's the name of the play again? Play is called Lombardi. Lombardi. Go to ticketmaster.com and go down to the Theatre Box office. What theatre is it at? It's at Circle and Square right by

Wicked and I'm sure your fans know where Wicked is. Dude I've been to Wicked. How do you really? Fucking love Wicked. Wow. Oh Wicked. It's fucking great. It's the opposite side that telling it from the Wicked Witch's point of view. She wasn't that bad. She was just a fucking misunderstood green bitch They wanted her sister shoes back. Yeah, she was supposed to get them fucking yeah, wake it was a girl Dude a lion king. I've been to it all. I'm I'm spider-man. No, I'm not gonna go see that fuck that I'd go see it just see somebody die. Yeah, that'd be awesome But and you can go to your website. What's your website again?

Yeah, just I guess build us What's your website again? Yeah, just I guess build us Build us that net or you can go what you Twitter my Twitter is at build us Cool, so yeah, very talented motherfucker go check them out. I need to go to your show. Yeah, you got come and And go see his comedy too So that's about it for this fucking podcast. I'll be back next week with some other fucking person.

This one was a good one though, it was just stereotypical one. You know where I just have Joe DeRosa or not me and him just fucking babbling about shit that we hate. So thanks for coming on, dude. I'll see you next time, all right? Go. I'll see you next we'll be here.