Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Bobby Is Scared to Go Night Night

Episode Date: October 27, 2014

Robert is joined by Dan Soder, Luis J Gomez, Chris Cotton, Chris Scopo and Deepu Gill.  RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

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¡Yo soy Listena a Robert Kelly! ¡Y'know lo que, ¡dude! ¡A la RiotCast Network! RiotCast.com ¡New on RiotCast! ¡The Pete and Sebastian Show! ¡With Pete Corrielli! ¡Gracias!

¡And Sebastian Menacecalco! ¡Todo es un buen día! ¡No me he hecho de todos los propios! Good evening! And Sebastian Menacekalko. Good short break to be here. I don't drop F-bombs to all ladies. I mean, I make my point, but, whoa, dude, holy shit, I'm impressed. Shit. What did you say to her?

Shut the fuck up and sit out. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha What if you're like watching on the cover boss a show that's near and dear to you? What if I was you're getting upset and crying? She just walks by on a way upstairs and cups your balls and go, oh baby crying! Just shakes your balls a little and then goes upstairs. Do you feel like she didn't have a right to do that or hey you know she's how my husband she could shake those balls no matter what whenever she wants When I watch undercover boss Nobody touches me

This is the peat and Sebastian show now playing on the right cast network and I I'm dying for a hot chocolate. Oh my god, there's an eddish. ["Dramatic Music"] Ha ha ha ha. OK. All right, here's the deal. What if I changed the oil on your carbony? All right, I'm going to be you, and you'll be me. Are you ready?

We're mailing it, by the way. Yeah, we're like the BBC version. We were first. Go ahead, talk to the microphone, though. Go ahead. Hey, what's up, Dan? You guys all set everything cool? I wouldn't get a coffee, huh? You get a coffee? You want a coffee brother? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't call you. I thought you'd call you for that

But you want one? Yeah, okay cool. Anyway, I was once up. Well, I remember the other day you said it was gonna be too late to get a coffee So that's why oh That's a Oh Came out of character Chris Kofo does Chris Kofo does some real ass improv Chris Kofo came out of character to be a cunt You know Bobby you know You shut your car into this shop you said you only wanted the brakes You know I don't really think I was gonna look at the oil pain. Ah, you fuck You know, I don't really think I was gonna look at the oil pan. Ah, you fuck.

You're not getting beef jerky, you fucking monkey. Nobody's getting beef jerky. There's no beef jerky on the fucking list. No one to a truck stop. Yeah, where's he going? Where's he going? He's got a green bananas. A flying J, if you're stopping by one,

could you pick up some beef jerky for this? I'm not an almond brother's tape. I can get a hold of. Yeah. do you get me a Larry the cable guy CD if you got one and a hat a getter done you fucking You have a wire that could charge myself one in a car All right, now that he's gone fucking scope dude what a cancer to the show Tadipo you hate him, don't you? Yeah, huh? All right, let's cancer to the show To depot you hate him, don't you? Yeah, huh?

All right, let's get into the show Oh That was trying to keep it like a comic can Just us sitting down and sometimes it's hilarious sometimes it's intense Kelly you know what Directions I love doing it We're back to the New York sports jazz first cowboys Nickerbockers about this guy there season

$1,800. Why'd you just have nickerbockers? Oh, sorry. Oh All right, guys, I'm talking to Christ. All right, as you can tell, we're back with some of the regulars of, and Skullbos is not here right now. He went and did a coffee run. Yeah, can we always make him do that? That's right before we sit down. I'm just going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say,

I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, We're back with some of the regulars of scoples not here right now. He went and did a coffee run Yeah, can we always make him do that? Right before we sit down I can really go for a metro car With nine dollars But this is this is this literally plays into fucking Lewis's fucking psychosis I'm gonna do a coffee run. Anyone coffee. I'll take a coffee. I'll take coffee.

He goes, can you give me beef jerky? It's like not even the same. You know how hard it would be to find fucking beef jerky right now? I don't know. I want that to take him to be off the show. That was a brilliant idea. All right, I didn't have that.

I'm in the scones now. I'm in the scones now. How many of you give me this custom beef jerky in Paramis? I need John Velvato shoelaces if you could find those. For a size nine European. Can you get me an all-saint zimper for a leather jacket? Yeah, it was great.

Oh, dude, what a f**k ass. And then, of course, I tell, you know, we do the things. I'm glad to have you back, Lou, first of all. And we, but I have them back and of course two seconds in, do shut the fuck up so I can do the sound check. Any fucking just yaps again. The line I was gonna make by the way was gonna be, can I say the line that you fucking hurt my feelings for?

Yeah, you said I need everyone to be silent and then I said Chris caught and tell a joke. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I don't, I don't, man talk about bringing up. Terrible. That was like a very at the end of a detective series where the guy gives away the murder That's what Lewis did where he's like I killed her. Hey, you're like, why did you bring that up? You were in the good cool You're in the car right? It wasn't a good one

Shot the teller at the bank robber. Yeah, it wasn't the way I timed it was great But then you know the way you time don't be list list isn't here. Don't try to beat your list I told that joke. I was a great one, I was a singer. You fucking, you guys mad? Yeah. Once you go, oh fuck, I am, sorry dude, I didn't think my ass was real, I was gonna get an email about that.

Can you not bear it being the fucking thing though you fat, come fuck, love you. Yeah, man. It's good to be back, it's good to be. It's good to have the regulars and somebody new. This is your first time, right? Yeah, it's my first time. Are you excited? Not at all.

I should push you, I'd be excited. Yeah. I don't know how to be excited. I don't know what to do. You got really, you got like a big energy right there for a show. I got real big, I got real. You'll moment of pull. Be sure to be excited.

Here's why you should be excited. We're fucking five comics and we're just doing some creative shit on a money night Having some fun and you're making it like I'm not a career changer, but I mean it's just fun. I mean what the fuck That's all that's all you could just say that Okay, it's okay to be it's okay to be happy. I'm really almost you're like an old Jewish lady I don't know what I feel a little if you honest you're happy you said it. I'm happy are you an honest guy? I'm are you excited? Are you happy to be I am happy? Then that's it. That's all I ask. I'm happy you're here The weirdest argument. I'm all I ask. I'm happy you're here. It's the weirdest argument. I'm happy.

I'm happy. I'm happy. Well, we try to do here. We try to break down fucking walls on the YKWD. We want people to, we want to feel comfortable. We want you to allow. Can I use the N-Ware? No, please. I don't. Yeah, got it. I mean, you can. Lewis is dying, too.

Lewis is pregnant. Lewis is rocking it. That's just been flipping my head all the time. Yeah, Lewis's career. Lewis is prepping. Lewis is rocking it. That's just been flipping in my head all the time. Yeah, Lewis's career, yes he can. I screaming in a couch cushions when I lose video games. Oh, gosh. God, we're so we are.

Fucking God. I didn't use it. That's a hum's hand. I'm not using that one. I just have you not used it. Are you against it? I don't use it until I get into the car and roll up all the windows before I go to road gig

and I just get them all out at once. No, I've, here's the thing. I used to talk to Patrice about this because Patrice used to say, he just said it and it had different meanings. Like, surprise, like, man, look at his mother fucker, this mother fucker. Well, what the fuck are you thinking?

It had all these different meanings when he said it. And it's like the word you're for white people. They had a bunch of different meanings. But can I just say something? I don't know where it is. No, that's right there. You will pick lashings at the end. I'll tell you, I just listen to an old Howard Howard Stern Where he was taught what Paul Mooney was on and it was right after the Michael Richards thing and he gave up the word

The end word I see the math that I didn't give up shit Well, that's the funny thing is that he's he took it more and he says nigga way more on stage What do you mean he's been what's that when he fucking talks? This is string is spit that never fucking stops come on really? I watched it from the side when I was like this is the nasty shit the front row Which is just kept blinking they knew I have no one can stop you know, I was does that white man trying to come in here take my spit And I'll I'll suck you dick if you're kind of no And I'll I'll suck you a dick if you're kind of no

That's funny no you know, it's does that chas pulmonary when I went to see Bronx tell Norton was like dude. He spits a lot He's spits so much really dude. I spit a lot when I talk I do too dude. I spit I spit meat in the chicks. I once downstairs You got it back out. I told you that fucking that's my bitch No, she just politely wiped it out I think we we all spit a scuffle spit meat into a woman's eyes. She would have him arrested Here speak Scobo spit meat into a woman's eye she would have him arrested Well here speak you got it you got it dupe Deepo anyways hot. I didn't realize he was how good looking he was he's a very good-looking Indian guy. He's like a Bollywood Kristalia

Kristalililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililil Yeah, good young shaved sexy thing going on. Oh, yeah, yeah, it's like a I'm like a good extra on lost. Yeah, yeah, you would perfect I literally I just should have recruit you for their videos. You fuck it. I think they did. Yeah, yeah, he edits all of them I live streamed it. I think those beheadings fucking edit together so well. Yeah Yeah, the He wrote a good looking guy dude. Well, I'm having a good day. It's an up and down journey with me Yeah, four arms would fucking turn me off. They're a little, you should trim those. It's my tribute to Robin. They were, uh, Robin, who?

Robin Williams. Oh, really? Sick. Ha, ha, ha. I thought it was funny. I laughed too much. I made it not funny. Ha, ha, ha. What's up, buddy? Oh, thanks.

You all right? Yeah. Thank you very much, Chris. Thank you, Skullcrow. Hey, Chris, do you want me to drink it? Ha? Oh, thanks. You all right? Yeah, thank you very much, Chris. Thank you, Skopo. Chris, do you want me to drink it? Skopo. Skopo, remember in the show, that's the level that Skopo is on, Deepu.

Like, you remember the strawbobby's like, good job, buddy. You really get a good job, then. That's not you. And drop it. Good boy. Good boy. Deepu's in a suit. He's like, they put in a suit.

I've got nine straws on my pocket. There we go. Dude, I just 3D printed my own straws. Deepo has an iPhone. iPhone 6 Plus straw. iPhone Deepo. iPhone Deepo. No, here is the thing.

We had a great weekend at a Gotham comedy club. I was fucking, I've been under a lot of fucking stress. Unnecessary stress, but I was under, you know, a fucking bunch of stress just because I've been burning the candle at both ends. And then we had, you know, five shows this weekend, but I was with Gomez and Chris came down on Saturday night. And John John Fish who actually he did a great job. You know, me and him had a, I've known John, I was actually a counselor at a Jewish camp, you know that, right? Back in the day, my step, my foster father, who was a Jewish guy, he became the director of this camp and he said to me,

I'm gonna be gone. This is a big opportunity for me, you know, to be the director. He's gone there since he was a kid, all his friends, and I'm leaving for two months. You get to find another place to live like literally like, or you can come work at the camp and make money, but there's no money. You can be a counselor or you can get another job the highest paying job 1500 bucks life lifeguard so I spent the next seven weeks getting my lifeguard license I made it by fucking 42 seconds literally I grabbed the wall with 42 They had to save me they had to like help me out of the pool Technically they had to give it to me

save me they had to like help me out of the book. But technically they had to give it to me. Your foster father does our taxes. Well, let you be a wife guard. But I don't remember John back then as a little kid, but I, you know, you should have looked to the back of his head. That might help you. Wait a minute.

John fish Jason Voorhees. Did you make fun of him? He died at the bottom of the lake because you were banging some chick on the beach. Dude, how do you know you're swimming? It's fucking kids we had had. He comes out of the lake because you were banging some chick on the beach. You know, you're swimming. It's like the kids we had had. He comes out of the lake. If I could get him, can't press the lake.

He was a Jewish kid. Body juice chasing for. He's gold. A lot of Jews. I, I, um, no, he, I don't remember. But then we, you know, we kind of had a, he was kind of, you know, I don't know. It was, I would blame me too, but there was some times, you know when people are too

familiar when they walk up, hey you fucking, you know, sit some shit to me once, like, what the fuck? Hey buddy, we have the same head. I don't know, some weird shit. And I was like, I was just like, fuck you dude, we don't know each other like that. And I was like, dude, but he, me and him

actually been cool the last couple of times and it was really good to work with him this weekend. He's really funny, man. I mean, he went out. He was really silver, huh? He looks like Vanderlae silver. He, one of the nicest guys I've ever heard. He's a nice guy, but we, something, there's just, sometimes shit with certain people,

like, you know, where it just, you said something, and I was like, what the fuck is that? I'm not ready for that. And I said, fuck you, what are you doing? And he was like, huh, I'm kidding, and I'm like, go fuck yourself. That's weird. It was just, you know when you have that,

you just don't get that, but somebody, that happened to us. Like, we were It was just, you know when you have that, you just don't get back with somebody, that happened to us. Like we were like, hey, what's up? And then something happened. And I was like, fuck you. And then now we're cool again. But I will totally take the hit.

Yeah. I think, but I, you know, he did some weird shit to, but so it's not totally. But, uh, but anyway, he was fucking great this weekend. You never had that? You know what I do that all the time? I don't like anybody. If, if, who is on me. He was fucking great this weekend. You never had that you do that all the time

I don't like anybody if I knew lose fucking like here. This is nobody likes Nobody likes I didn't just like lose I just didn't talk to him I don't talk to people when I first me out of it's so hard right now I've never really had a full-blown college would you I wasn't completely sure you weren't Bobby Kelly and black? Sometimes we I wasn't completely sure you weren't Bobby Kelly and black his last name. It's tiny fucking ears dude. Nothing on the left name. That was fucking crazy. We all see it. What's wrong with his ears?

Dude, he is the twine. He's really spoiling. He's being covered by these headphones right now. Can we see the ears please? Let me just say that I'm gonna judge. I'm gonna judge. I don't like what do you what do you get? Let me see. No, no turn to the side. You're gonna show him to the camera dude. We're the dude. Oh the camera. I don't know what the fuck right here. It's right there Oh man, that is tiny Yeah, I'm filming it and it's getting smaller Did you get hit in the head as a little kid and just that part of your head stop growing? I don't know what's up with my ears. You look like the first recipient of a fucking ear transplant

There's just born with holes on the side of the side. Do you need a little kid died in the car accident? We've got a tears for you Chris do you need earbuds To cover your ears No, he actually can't hear anything dude. This is perfect for him. They haven't turned up full blast. But anyways, yeah, it was a great weekend. Lewis fucking, I gotta say, he fucking killed it. All weekend, he did a great job, but I'll tell you the best part about you

is you're a really nice guy this weekend. You're on a dickhead. I don't know, you're the old Lewis. You almost physically attacked me at Foxwoods so You but here's a thing you were a fucking great guy you were really nice You like old Lewis like the guy I liked what I first started liking you what happened to Foxwood? I he was a dildo all week at awkward moment for me. I was I'm just staring at the screen Bobby almost beat me up at Foxwoods Well, well a little bit of fight wouldn't

But I would I would you would have shot them, but I would have had to lay down After the fight just go where we help and Lewis up he just I'm fine. I'm fine I just I what oh you weren't hurt. I know I'm not hurt. I let that fat fuck thinking hurt me Cool Well, you weren't hurt. No, I'm not hurt. I let that fat fuck thinking hurt me Yeah, I'm gonna just hold on here and just keep not really cool. I'm not cool. I'm not good not getting a paycheck No, dude, but you know you really you were actually old Lewis. I don't I thought you I thought you made a change in your Behaviour which we we do That's what I thought happened to see him during the day though like in Fox would you see him all day long no that's not true that's no he's a fucking dink all the time it's also a different environment I think that environment breeds like a

weirdness at Foxwoods where I can be a degenerate there at Gotham it's like you know you're on your best behavior yeah you can't I like you on your best behavior but I know that about you I know to act like I'm a Gotham every time I'm around. Well, no, it's not that. It's you're a nice guy. Just be a nice guy. I like you when you're a nice guy. I don't like you when you're a mean person or a dickhead.

I've never seen this other fucking Lewis that everybody's talking about. The good guy. I'm telling you. No, the bad lose. The thing is, I have a fucking shitty attitude. That's my secret. I'm always a dickhead.

Well, no, what'd you say? I have a shitty attitude, too. So I don't care. I'm getting that. I'm always a dickhead. Well, no, what you say? I have a shitty I had a two to so I don't I'm getting that I thought you were a nice guy. I'm nice But it's like I understand we come. No, no, it's a different thing It's it's not I look I love Lewis's stupidness. It's sometimes he just goes and he'll step on your fucking tongue And it's like stop stop and he'll just keep doing it You know what I mean? This weekend, he was really the nice guy that I grew to love back in the day. You're just a sweetheart and you were fucking killing it too.

Every show, he fuck except one. But he fucking, Yeah, the one that fucking known was that. No, you didn't get on that one. It just wasn't great. No, he did great. I mean, I was sitting there with John Fish, like this fucking cocksucker got funny.

You know what I mean? Like, I got emails about, not you, but I lose. I can get emails. I think it even. You fucking killed it brother. You can type. They can type. They can type.

They can do it. Actually, they weren't gomites. They went, what's his name? So they're not really fans. They're just, you know, maybe future gomites. Possibly. Yeah, almost. God, the ape you're trading to be like a man is actually sounding like a man. I know.

I'm just saying, bravo to you. It was a stress, when you hire people to be around you, right? When you can have a choice, when you say, well, it's true. I'm, I can, it's exactly, if I can choose to have you with me. I don't want a person that's gonna fucking make it more tough. You know what I mean? Make it, like there's enough stress that goes into fucking playing a club. The cheque spot, the fucking who's showing up, the press, all the build up.

You know man, there's a self-esteem on the line. There's money on the line. Are you coming back on the line? There's a lot of shit that goes into that when they pay you some good cash to play a headliner club. So when you can bring people around, you wanna bring people who add happiness to your life and fun so you can have a good time and kind of forget about the bullshit.

You don't wanna add somebody who's gonna fucking cause you shit and make you more stressed out, you know what I mean? So when you, I was telling my wife I was like it was a fucking great weekend everybody was awesome everybody killed it Nobody stepped on toes and then we all went out to fucking Your wife how many donuts you ain't gonna hold on now talk to you at the Here's what a fat fuck I am dude. I lie now when I like even when I have like my cheat day where I eat all day

I still leave certain things out Like I'll list it off and I'm bragging about how much I'm eating But nobody knows that I genuinely probably a seven and a half donuts But you have to admit that I I'll bury you eating Yeah, Bobby. I was full 20 minutes in and then Bobby's like oh, that's coming out. Yeah, give me that to Here's here's the donut that you want to go to the donut factory Which don't a plant don't a plant which is great, but it's one of those donut places that you know Let's do a donut with fucking Cocoa puffs on it. You described it the best you said that place is what can I do to a fucking donut?

Like a fucking creative. What can I do? Don't that then which kept it's not donut, den, it's donut, fuck it. pub, pub, donut, pub. donut, den, donut, pub. is how you make a fucking donut. And I saw it in his eyes and I was like, this guy knows what the fuck he's talking about. Where is this place? It's on 14, then seven.

And seven. It's, this is why it's great. This is what makes it great. For me, a great place. Magic Mike. It's been there a long time, for 50 years. Got number one. Yeah. Number two, magic Mike. The guy that was two in magic, magic years. Okay. Got number one. Yeah, number two magic Mike

Hang on we'll get to that. We're gonna get to the movie game. We're gonna get to that Number two. It's been there a long time number one number two. I love old pipes Number two. It's open 24 hours of fucking day. You cannot still open 24 hours a day unless you're pretty fucking good. You know what I mean? It's just, I'm pretty sure I know what you're saying. That I, that I, that I, that I, that I, what I, I had fucking travel channel, Tom. And remember two thing about the donut pub.

You're not gonna stay open this long unless you know what you do. Man, so I brought some friends. I came all the way here for Philadelphia to get a donut. Yeah. Today on the travel channel. All right, I know, I know the two.

I'm fucking Casey caseman this shit. All right, I got you. My friend Lewis. He loves donuts. Yeah, it was fucking hilarious. But I really, I don't know if you're selling it to me. I don't want it so bad. Dude, I literally was gonna throw a brick through

donut plants window, because he made me so angry about what they do to donuts. I was like, stop doing donuts, motherfuckers. You can see him put the glaze on them too. Here's a deal. Here's a deal. They got a fucking kitchen the size of the studio, not even, okay?

There's a dude out front, okay? Who's always, I love when guys in shitty places, great food places, kind of in shape. You know what I mean? They're trying to keep the shit together. And they make basic fucking donuts, a glazed stick, a marble glazed stick, a fucking honey dipped, a chocolate dipped, a fucking.

You get all fashioned fashion it's just right it was like a Wu Tang he was like an outing the Wu Tang members from the slums to Shaolin got triple glazed funny glazed grula French crawler grula

grula grula they're both double chocolate dip never so so so you go in they make donuts twice a day. They make them in the morning and then they make them late at fucking night. Dude, it seemed to me that they were just making

and they were just making donuts the whole time. They do, I think on weekends, they're gonna fucking run out, so they keep making them. But they're usually making the top fucking five donuts twice a day, you know what I'm saying at that point They'll make donuts keep them coming out, but they make the the old fashioned dipped in chocolate And then but they dip them fully in chocolate so it's an old fashioned donut dipped fully in chocolate

And then they Melt into the dough There's a layer of the hot there's a layer of the... Oh, there's a layer of the old-fashioned doughnut. Yeah. That's fucked with chocolate. Yeah, like when fat people get mushed to their couch, they can't get up. It's the layer of skin.

The layer of skin, the way we go, where we go. Where we go? You know when fat people, we go and fuse with their couches. They're like Nebraska, and I can't get up. You're like, I've been staying there for 14 years.

They're in there part of the couch. That's years. You're sitting there part of the couch. That's it. You're eating that part of skin and couch. Oh, that sounds so good. So, yeah, so you walk in and it's fucking jammed, okay? There's four seats left, literally four seats. And it's old school coffee shop. Bob Koffee, show them Scopus stood.

So they call you a nigga and you walk in, dude. That's what they owe. Hey, nigga face, come in, get a toilet Oh, no, no, you can't come in Yeah, we're not talking about the 50s. We're talking about Okay, we're So Hey, a colored boy. Oh, you talk with me. We don't speak vodka and a bathtub in the back.

You got to go to a chalky white to get some doughnuts. Hey, if I can save your vodka one too, I'd like you in a bath. What a highlight. That joke for you. Hang on one second. Everybody scope. I'll go. What a highlight Hang on one second everybody scopo go Okay Wow, I know Kelly will be right in Two she's been repeating other people jokes, but you'd be saying something at least

I believe you scopo I believe in you. I believe in you, Scopo. I believe in you. I'm coming. He's getting my point. So you go in and it's so fucking, it's just fucking so beautiful you walk in. You can see the guy flipping donuts in the back. He knows Bobby by full name. That's what Jesus said.

He's fucking. Robert, Robert Kelly. I love the full name. He's fucking. Robert, Robert's getting. I love the full name. He doesn't even say it right. He knows Robert by full name. Right, he does the thing that only criminals can identify where he's like your government name. Why would you call it that?

So, I'm gonna see your fucking surname. That's actually funny. That was funny. Full. So we go in and everybody orders two donuts, I think, right? A two or three, right? We all order two or three donuts and milk or coffee, full. So we go in and everybody orders two donuts, I think, right? Or two or three, right? We all order two or three donuts and milk or coffee, whatever.

And then nobody had coffee, we all had milk. Okay, all right, so I didn't know, I didn't know that. We all get large milks and we sit down. But I tip the guy, I tip the guy, fucking eight bucks. I let him just keep the chain. I said, keep the chain. I go, as they're coming coming out you give me first dibs So am I right?

I want that one so So he's coming out of the kitchen with hot donuts. We're talking hot apple fucking things whatever hot fucking honey buns Do you literally touch your finger to the the glue stick and it just melts into your finger Fuck crispy creams. He came out with fucking honey dips. Oh, he comes out hot and he stops at me And he goes whatever you want and I'll bring bang I'll take one and he's just dropping them off not even paying for him yet. We don't know because I you know We're fucking in right? We don't even pay him for him yet. We don't know, because we're fucking in, right?

We have a tab over here. We have a tab. We had a tab. We had a tab. Let's call on Donuts, guys. So here's a gift for too many. Listen, dude, I always tip this fucking guy. I tip him fucking outrageous, because I don't want to fucking deal

with fucking hipster douchebag and his dumb fucking band buddies stealing all the fucking glazed crullers. You know what I mean? I learned how to make doughnut clasp your new ham sure. It's an adult summer camp. Even though doughnuts are fried, they're not big. Actually, it's pretty cool. I'm starting a doughnut like a sanctuary for doughnuts in Williamson. These are glue and free all natural doughnuts made from apples. That very large man

keeps taking all the top things. I would say something, but he looks like he works with his hands. Wow, well probably one of the funniest exhibits ever. I mean, almost perfectly funny. So, I'm not so-to-retire as a competent. Hang it up. So So we sit down and all this what's his name magic Mike magic Mike. There's a guy right explain this fucking guy He's a he's a he's an in here's what he does. He's an in-house magician that I guess I I don't think that's true. I think he's a resident sorcerer 72 the owner of donut den lost the fucking gambling to like his father to this guy's cousin and he owed a debt

So he lets this fucking old guy do magic tricks for the customers of donut den They're not good magic tricks though, but they are magic tricks But you think they're all store bought shitty magic tricks that he then tries to sell you They're not magic trips. They were they were fucking puzzles. They're like no, but not just puzzles dude It's magic trick. I'm not gonna trash. I listen. I'm not gonna trash magic. I fuck magic. My dude. I hate this guy Magic he got this entertain for 30 minutes while he's all all coming out fucking selling me. I'm out of mark. Did you buy anything? Takes everything Enjoying the guy fucking doing my magic tricks for us. I love them. I love them

There's an old man that's just like how do you want to see me do a trick and lose like what do you think I have some dumb piece of shit? That's not even real man. No, because he's been really practicing. You're not gonna take advantage of me like, they get on my whole childhood. Oh, I hate you, mom and dad. I think that's a good deal. Do you want to know what number it was? I bet this trick winds up when you pants, right?

Now I gotta play with you. You're gonna play with mine. You're gonna make me fall in love with your magic and then you're gonna leave. That's what you always do. Shit, dude. So I actually fucking, I loved it. I fucking loved it this guy. I love it. Let me let's get carried away I it was fucking cool because he's sitting there He's coming with these little puzzles, which I'm solving by the way you saw one of them do soft to

You did not suffer I'm gonna solve it. It was not he saw the pyramid. He's not the pyramid Yeah, I saw the triangle dude with the church. I don't know the white two pieces of white I did that and then I did the other one do the Balls the red balls I did to it right in the red balls. Oh, can I get a fucking apology now? Yeah, and then I was on the verge of solving the tea you Me you me you're about to do it. We were right now that I added you you're fucking close. Yeah, I'm very

And then you put the fucking savant in here to do it and then we figured it out in 30 seconds This is what this is Lewis in a nutshell. He comes over. He goes do put that there put that there Solves will like whoa They He comes over, he goes, dude, put that there, put that there, solves, we're like, whoa! They lost the mind, they thought it was a genius. We thought it was like idiots of the moment, just knew I'd do fun. I let it sit for six minutes, and then I went, I looked it up online.

Yeah. Do you like, do you like apples? I just got the first toe nut. How do you like them out? Yeah. Yeah. It's fucking good real hunting, you fucking smart. But I want to back up a little bit here, because this,

this is the, this is the fat fox that I that you scope or you are I'm I could be fat you're a fat fuck you're a fat fucking. I can't wait. How old you now 27? Yeah, I can't wait to you 35 You're gonna be a moose. I know that is in fact. No, dude He's gonna listen to me. He's gonna be a moose when he's there as soon as he finds a chick again Some chick and he settles down Moose we're gonna see this fat hips. I'm telling you Lewis. He's he's looking great But you'll be back. I you'll be back. You will be back one more time. I'm letting go. There's no I'm gonna take your phone off the table. Don't come don't come back. Oh, by the way right now

What's happening is my babies that are locked my son's door on the sublet So he's locked in his room. We don't have to keep it the room. Oh, you need to go take care of that No, go take care of that. I literally can't do anything. No, how do you get into the door? I'm gonna let him die Glow is please. I'm sorry. I really gonna do go take care of it. I can't do anything until I get what is she gonna do She's sitting there like an asshole. So what if you have a baby monitor? No, he's fine. He's sleeping. Yeah, but what if something happens? She's sitting there. I can ask all. Do you have a baby monitor? No, he's fine.

He's sleeping. Yeah, but what if something happens? What's gonna happen? A spider? I'm like, no, you said I can hear the spider. It's one in there. I can hear me. Yeah.

Talk about projecting your fear. Get inside into body, tell you what he said. Bucket heaven. A spiking wood bug. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe he's sleeping and you f you fall if you're bedding the water is a pool And swim but there's no swimming there's no swimming and you but the door doesn't answer Bobby is this a nightmare?

Bobby's kidding on night night Bob is standing on night night. Uh, shit. I guarantee he's going to be able to remember it. I'll be able to show. Dude, should we call it Donuts? I don't want to. No, that's not it. What is it?

Bobby said to go night night. Oh, Bobby's scared to go night night. Uh, see, I told you. He has it. You knew it, right? No, Bobby, not only do I have it down. I haven't had it. He was like, what? No, not only do I have it down. I haven't had it. He was like, what's your life with the right

to themselves for a fight? I thank you for having. How can I help you on this podcast? I have it. I have it and a tattoo to my foot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Bobby, it is already in your phone. I'll tell you what. I've made it. I've written it in spice on the floor. I just want to say it right now. I've gone, you really did have a Tom Brady like draft pick with D-Poo. When I saw the draft pool, I was like, we're going shanin'.

She's round one. And then you think, I was BELLA-CHECK. I was BELLA-CHECK. Yeah, okay. That's the analogy. Okay. Well, I'm adding to it. Well, I'm sorry.

Yo, you said I am, that's me. That's me. I'm the hero. But we call you belly-check. Oh, that was so awesome. I never tell a lesson. You know what, I can't be here. So he's gonna be here through in spirit. I am that's me that's me We call you belly check You know I can't be here so it's gonna be earth in spirit. I like it. I like I mean I'll write that one now of course you will fucking clock suck So So magic Mike really just bummed Lewis out huh?

You were good. I hate the way this camera looks. can we fix that yeah sure how do we fix that light It looks all why do I look fucking great and Dan looks at his a ghost was because we have a camera dedicated to you And then everyone's sharing never know but the other camera looks all right Go to that looks all right. It hasn't been a podcast Hey Lewis is even in a camera cuz he's fucking off to the side. No, I mean Fix it now look at that Look at that. How about this watch this watch this? How's that? That's great if you like it. Is that better? Yeah, it's a little better, right? How come Chris isn't in it? Well, that's oh you got oh, let me get a Think so okay, let me move him down because he fucking sits low.

Sit low. How's that funny? Yeah, I can just don't know if I'm a man. Is that better? Yeah, don't know if it's better. Does that good? I go back. We're good, right?

I'll be back. I'll be back. I'll be back. All right, anyways. We got Kelly and Chap, by the way. Oh, Kelly for Stuka. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She said, she's a new blocker.

No kidding, I'm kidding, Kelly. What kidding. What she say she says talk about being fat Talk about being a fat fuck my fat senses are tingling bombing from Australia all right Let's go right there for the blood. Oh, I can't it was right there so I Got to try to extra powerful, you know, it sucks because you could you could have literally fucking edited that on a computer You know, it sucks because you could have literally fucking edited that on a computer Like somewhere else and then done it and like kept trying it out I'm gonna read it Mom!

Mom! What do you think? You guys are gonna be funny if I said I'm gonna be funny if I said I'm gonna be funny if I said I'm gonna be funny if I said I'm gonna be funny if I said I'm gonna be funny if I said Now Kelly, the DOSY Meg sang Stalin Now you're getting crazy

Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy Now you're getting crazy You know you get in crows a Gary Fucking Christ I hope you get fucking killed by a kangaroo May me follow your fucking head you dumb cunt So here's what fat fucks we really are I mean I'm in the I'm in the I'm miss Kelly, too. I love you Kelly But I'm so glad I got deep Oh now I was gonna do is get rid of this fucking schmuck with the left of me and I got my team. Oh, man I love you. I love you. I never get rid of you Chris

Seek early waiting. No, I would not know. I'm gonna get rid of you You're gonna find a one-way ticket to Australia. Yeah, I need you to joke deep who forgets out of line You clockshucker you fucking fuck with Bobby fucking Bobby Nancy You fucking put Bobby's logo on his fucking face on the chat Skopos leaving the fucking shun gets knocked on the knee to the knee. Why? Why? Why? I was on the mic finally. Why? So here we're we're we're we do I mean it's a great weekend Friday night great Saturday night great the whole cast and crew from sex drugs came John Corbett who is famous. Love him. He is so fucking famous man.

Didn't even realize how famous he was until we were outside of Gotham and he was swarmed by 19 fat Asian girls. What a little Filipino broad. This broad she was literally a four feet tall. Are you Aiden from Sack & City? He's like, no, no, a lot of people tell me I look like him.

He's like, no, no, you are. You are. She's fat. If you do that, you can't. You're the one next time. Yeah. You are. Signature you are you are she's I go keep going he changes the camera Those talking about me and they are more than I would like this I go keep going and he changes the camera. Those talking about me. You just whack me in the arm. Where's that?

I went like this. Shut up. Do you people don't fucking cross me? Deepo. Hey, hey, fucking settle down. Thank you. All right. Thank you, Chris.

Thank God you. Listen, here's a deal. We're out front. I mean, this fucking, first of all, that Filipino girl. She has these big gazubas. She takes a bra off during the show. You can see it. Those are black people. You can see big gazubas, what? You can off during the show. You can see it. Those are black people. You can see.

You can see through her shirt. You can see through her shirt. I can see your fucking fat Filipino titties. And I just wanted to suck them. Yeah. Suck them so bad. After the show, she's out front with taking a picture. She's four feet tall.

She throws her legs straight up in the air. Oh. Air. And holds it up. So John Cooper goes, yeah, I do that again. Now with his fucking Hollywood beautiful smile. So she does it and just kicks him right in the face. That's for the time. He goes, you kick me in the face, but he's such a professional man.

You kick me in the face. Some almost done paying for these. But Johnny Alz was there who's fucking awesome. Love Johnny Alz. You mean him? You him right he's great Elaine and Elizabeth were there too the two girls I mean they fucking they're crazy good looking No, I didn't even notice to what you're right. I'm trying to get a walk on extra rolls a security guard and sex and drugs on our Roll so I'm pretty asexual dude I really they seemed uh I really get one up for a roll now I'm that's my donut for just now okay so okay listen in it did you audition for

anything for a while yet no okay he want you to try to hide them why don't you fucking call somebody fucking throw my head shot in the background of every TV show they have you You're the real thing. I sort of got it. I've been in five episodes of Marin with my headshot posted behind his head. I get people emailing me all the darns. It's so funny. We're really there.

On Marin, why is your headshot in the background? Because he fucking, he's in the world of comedy. So he'll be in a place where there's headshots in the background and they use it because a possible, what place besides L.O.L.A.D.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H besides L.O.O. is headshot. That's God damn it. That was so good. You didn't know it was me.

You didn't know that was good. I knew that was. I knew that was. That was not me. That was not me. I knew I knew I knew he's doing it. He's now, but he I was waiting for my moment like I'm a slide Real conversation and it was the funniest moment of his life and I missed it I was talking to fucking depot about the chat room this guy's amazing

You just put the chat room in the fucking video. I don't know how that what I don't talk to the chat rooms in the video Funny what do you do? I'm sorry. I fucking I haven't heard you be funny yet. I Missed it miss my opportunity right? Jesus Christ my life. It was like when your son fucking lands out of Walker says his first word just could be on the road somewhere That's what just happened That hurt that's sad dude. I mean not it's not gonna be too far That's good. That's sad dude. I mean, it's not gonna be too far. I mean Yeah, it's not like he's gonna think of playing

Perfect in Alex has gonna be some type of bus at a college somewhere in fucking NYAC. Let's hope I Anyways, so where we we go I want to cut back to we're going over to the donut pub, right? Oh the fellow pitch. Anyways the cast group give down it was fucking great About those Filipino tinnitus. No, can I say something about for the people? I like Filipino women I like to Latinos in the Asian community. They are and they look so delicious I hope it is being received as creepy as I'm giving it because I really like Cambodia's a for the people to be funny if you were Fluid if you're in a thing or food if you're fluent to go log

I don't know what that like is Filipinos language. I don't give a fuck what they speak. I was like the faces of it. I don't give a fuck. I love Filipino. I do like Filipino a lot. I've been I've been I've moved a couple of them really hot. The first pussy I ever ate was a Filipino girl I would love to be a guy the first Filipino guy I ate his fucking newly cut off cock pussy She was like 14 what you a 27 no last week

Did you get the low-may that a rice which when it is friends of my son? This is my son's babysitter's daughter. Oh. No, no, it was like a kid and I fucking ate her pussy. It was a kid? It was a kid. He pulled out my gun. He wore a kid.

And yeah, that was the only experience I ever had with Filipino. But her pussy did stink. And she came to Lesbian. I had a Filipino traveling nurse and, oh my God, dude, smoking hot and that's the chick I fucked out the window on the second floor. I made her, I was so, it was back when I was sexy, Bobby. Yeah, so you could do...

Bobby with a dick-hit like this. I would just get bored and I'd be like, yeah, I'm gonna fuck you like, shug night. I remember, if it was hot, she was into it. It was just fucking freaky, bro. And traveling nurses and smoke, cause they go, all these, they're all never in the same place, they always tense traveling.

So they'll fuck, you know what I mean? Cause they don't let me steady guys. I see you again. No, fuck throughout the window, sexy thing ever. She was waving to people like, oh, hi, hello. I was fucking just banging her you guys at the same voice huh hi

dude right there dude I'm outside window dude I'm right outside the window dude oh puppy thank god fucking Dan made your joke funnier I'm right outside the window dude Thank God fucking Dan made your joke funnier But together It's a way that I rather than the dude watching again fuck out the window you are Through creep I get a boy. I would rather watch. I'm like. Oh, this bitch is getting fucked out the window that would do more for me than fucking her

Out I'm a voyeur to do that. I used to look I fucking hate the I used to seek out voyeur porn on the internet And there's one the fucking sted a fake bullshit There's one real one. It was just weird. I didn't like it But I watched the whole thing they had one where the setup was fucking amazing, okay the girls She's in a bathroom. She opens up the window first full bathroom. She starts, you know taking her stuff off This is bad. I see this you know what I'm talking about Yes, I see the whole thing and then by the end she's a fucking play on this. No, oh, didn't I didn't see this one? I got another one and I'm literally got my dick out of like this is the one this is the scenario perfect scenario

Good acting great build up no bullshit I got another one. I literally got my dick out of my dick. This is the one. This is the scenario, perfect scenario. Good acting, great build up, no bullshit. She slowly starts taking her stuff off. Oh God, they're gonna go in there. She's gonna start doing some weird. And then all of a sudden, it's that screen face and it scares the shit out of me. Yeah, I squeezed my dick.

And I squeezed my fucking dick. I got a sock free face. I was so fucking mad. You creepy. Oh, so fucking mad. You sent it to another friend. You kept it alive, because we were watching it again. Up to that point, I jerked off just when the screenface came. Did you do it at it where it goes into another porn, jumpscott, did another window open where you're like,

and play on this one. That's what I do. I'll, I'll, I'll miss you all. That's an advanced fucking, I'll mash up. You gotta just stand up. Dude, I, dude, I've done some fucking advanced masturbation, dude. I did it, dude. Is that what we're calling it?

Dude, it's called advanced with domestic Gomez. Where you know what you do, at this point, I was saying this earlier, it's like our kids are never gonna like draw like Dixon Pussies and like get off that because they're sick for yourself. We're not gonna teach Max the road, nice cock. I'm gonna say, he's gonna have a fucking iPad

and he's gonna go, and then he's gonna be able to look at a real man. A real man. My kid's gonna be artistic. He's gonna draw a nice fucking pussy. It could be autistic. I'm sorry, that was mean. No, it wasn't mean, it was funny.

The band-dennis right there, can you reach over? No, we don't give it to you. You're gonna grab it on that one. He's just Christ. I kinda like it, but scientifically, I think it already be diagnosed. He's gonna be dead. I'm a... I try fucking, I think it already be diagnosed. I'm not gonna do that.

I'm not gonna do that. I try fucking, I show from a medicinal stuff. But I've done some high-level masturbation like, dude, I fucking know. And we know. One time, the high-level masturbation. I'll tell you how to clifth. That's how I pull. You become the penis.

Dude, I was, there was a video of this chick she'd retired from porn like a decade ago, and now she's like an anti-porn activist. Yeah, so she goes on to these like radio shows and she denounces porn What's her name Mary Carey? I don't remember her name, but I saw a Mary Carey in Vegas fucked up Yeah, there's so she's fucking she knows how she denounces porn She talks about all the evils of the porn industry and she gives these long interviews So what I would do is I would listen to her interviews while I would jerk off to her porn Like on mute, but listen to her talk about like the horrible things that she had been through during the and I'd find the scene She was talking about like some really devious fucked up high-level masturbation

I'm right now. I've been watching a lot of growth in porn where is your people getting growth? Sharkin you guys fucking Japanese business man Oh, first of all, those videos thing you guys fucking Jeffie's business man. Oh first of all Those videos thing you guys I like it to say a giant look at the bus a skill girl and Rapper up. Yeah, I can't get off on one side of it. I have a teenage girls panties in my mouth I I just I my dream porn is when I find this when they actually Let it play out. I love when it plays I find this, when they actually let it play out.

I love when it plays out. I hate when they cut to it. I hate when they cut, like there's a massage one where she plays a legitimate massage girl and he tries to corner into it and she keeps saying no, but you know, and then he's like, look, you know, he kind of, he gets there to,

all right, listen, I'll do this, but you have to not say anything and he gets, and he slowly manipulates her and then she She takes her top. It's a slow draw. Then she's sucking his dick and it's like fuck me. This is like real like this Could happen maybe I like to watch a reporter. They go out to dinner Socially emotional a wine Socially emotionally. Think about a wine. And then they go home.

How is it? And then the date picks up again on the third day. And then it starts to go see a movie. You watch them watch the whole movie. They seem both to enjoy it. Nice rom-com. They go home. Oh, yes.

And then they slowly start getting into it. That's the slow draw. And they have their first kiss. Six and five days of jerk off. She goes the next day. She talks her best friend about what a nice guy means. Now, we got to Sam Melissa is jaded She does not like this guy so she kind of puts out some feelings she looks up his Facebook

That's a whole 20 minutes Real slow-drawn That shit makes my dick rock hard. I also like At gunpoint Jesus Christ. I also like, at gunpoint. Jesus Christ. Really? Yeah, I love that. I like a gunpoint.

There's one where the girl, she's babysitting and her girlfriend comes over who's kind of like the trashy one. Rebellious and then the parents come home and they would, they would do something and they would, what are you, they start yelling at the girl and the other girl and this girl's like, fuck this, gay kid, you're gonna shut the fuck yelling at the girl and the other girl and this girl's like fuck this Gate you're gonna shut the fuck up sit down and the baby. What are you doing? Shut the get down. She ties the wife up and that ties the husband off and goes you've always said you always tell me You wanted to fuck him now is your chance

She's like no and the wife's like She's gagged and ball. This is good. And she's like you well now you're gonna do it She's like no, I can suck his dick. you said you wanted to I put and she's like okay And she makes the girl the baby said a suck and funny if the guy just stayed soft the whole time My wife I can't I can't just her having a floppy dick going around her mouth It's like oh so good then she starts sucking it. She's like, yeah, now we're fucking your husband. What are you gonna do? She's slapping the wife.

This is literally just throwing her away. How are you gonna find that? What's that? This is where it's going. This is his mother and father's first date. Yeah. Yeah, I think. I like the, they got a slice of bends

and then he did that to her and watch. I like the step mom catches her step daughter fucking her boyfriend and then she's like, here's how you do it and jump Oh, I got the best one. I got the one the red tape from torgas me. I don't know if you guys have that oh fuck you I got I watch it. Yeah, I give it to you If you here's the rule the red tape if you have if you ask for it I have to give it to you and I don't ask I don't ask for it back just someday you will hand it to me and go dude. Thank you

I'm done and I will and I give it you know Antorgasm My name is cook right the girl, dude, but tape It's called red tape There's a lot of red tape to get out of that jam Dude, Jay Davis was holding the camera It's the most incriminating person ever It's down to man

They think you take me down? Literally, legally? It's actually, it's a tape. It's a red tape that I got, a porn, and it has the best porn ever on it. It has around five different scenarios, all different, and it's amazing. And I've explained it to people, and I've given it to people over the years. Gary Gellman's got it, Dan's got it. A bunch of people have gotten it. It's always come back to me, and I've received it back, like I'm done. Thank you. Well, a year later, I got it back once. A year. The H was like an

Ninja attorney, and I put it, I put the retake back in its black box and I just wait for a person like Dan who just asked me now I will give it to you son. It is so funny We have a pretty charlie chocolate factory, but with porn Bob can I be honest with you dude? First of all please two things number one. I have a D Fucking a dbh. I think it would be an honest, it sounds like you're lying. No, no, no, it's a fucking thing to record DVDs. Oh, a VHS.

From a VHS. A DVD recorder? Yeah, DVD recorder. DVD recorder. You know, this is, this is, Do you understand? This is what's wrong with you in life. But I haven't had said the words DVD or VHS

and so long, so it's fucking me up right now. Here's a deal. This is what's wrong with you. You, you want to take something. That's precious. That's, that's precious that's that has a meaning that has a history and you want to just Bobby's got like a Dylan vinyl Senior I could maybe put a Lincoln park track I don't like that you started off with a different voice

And then you morphed into me I started off with a Kelly for sickle. I Then you He is He should have his own radio show. Oh, no. I do. I think, yeah, it's the most amazing tip. Like the scenario is on it.

One of the scenarios is the beautiful daughter is home early, masturbating to a magazine. The boyfriend guy comes over and catches her. And starts saying to her, what are you looking at? And she's like, oh, and then she starts talking. She wants to sucking his dick. The mother comes home and flips out,

and fucking what the fuck are you doing? And the mother's smoking hot. Milfy hot, though. The daughter. 35. Yeah, 35. The daughter is a young, young. Okay, and she's like, fucking,

oh, you fucking piece of shit. And she's like, okay, fine. Take your dick out. And he's like, look, I'm not doing that. She's like, take your fucking, and he's like, I don't, he takes his dick out. And you wanna know, you wanna suck dick? Well, mom is gonna teach you how to suck it.

Oh, man. And she fucking forces her daughter's head on this cock. Oh She's show good gay right and she's like not like that like this And he sticks it and then they're going at it It this is why the this is why the red tape is the best going at it. He's fucking He's putting it put it in her put sticking in her ass And now I'm gonna show you how to fuck him and then she leans over the daughter and her big titties Roll the daughter and the daughter goes mommy. Can I lick your titties? She goes of course not that be incest you dirty girl And you just go what the fuck was that they break they break the four

They just take throw a joke right in the middle It's the best ever. It's the you literally hold you did go to home You're like that's just good right it. Oh, it's fucking great because it keeps you you know what I'm saying? It of course you don't want to yeah, she don't want the mother and the daughter you do But you don't you want it right there, but what it happened you're like, ah fuck that's not real But what it is I like when twins eat each other's boxes That's just rude There's no acting that like you are fucking I saw that's like faces of death for the list

Yeah, that's real, that's it That dude is fucking dead I saw a fucking Indian Dave Smith, that's what he is I saw one when Dave Smith. That's what he is. Yeah. I saw one where this fucking, this is terrible. This girl, this guy was like, got tricked and he stuck his dick through a hole. And this girl went and sucked it and then he came out, it was his sister. Oh. I guarantee it was fake. I hope it's fake.

But he was, she was like, what? And he was like, you fucking assholes. Like these guys set it up It but it for some reason it I don't know She sucked she's like And she sucked it off and fucking all over her face and then she she's like and then he came out and he's like What the fuck sis? She's like I thought that was you right? That's mom's meatloaf

Anyways, they picked the girl into fucking a black guy. They blindfolded her. Oh, yeah Fucking a black guy they blindfolded her. Oh, yeah, that's what I want. I'm gonna Probably what is that what happens they check it they blindfold her. Yeah, then she fucks the guy and she fucking loves it. They take the blindfolds of course And then she's like oh my god, you made me fucking nigger And it's just awesome and I come right there It's a daughter seen is really good. You're acting this fucking great actor cuz I'm like really oh she really hate black It's a daughter scene is really good. You're acting this fucking great actor cuz I'm like oh she really hate black Yeah, there's no way I don't give fuck what type of acting what is that called?

What what kind of search you do on that? I'm gonna find all right look I search on time either put in I'm dead as either put in nigga or put in Races that's a whole Holes Racist and dude there's a compilation. We play Oh, I'm sorry this I was in there for like a month. I would just watch come ladies And I was working for me for a while. I just in case people don't know and they don't watch the video. They just listen to audio He's the widest guy West cotton born and raised video He's the whitest guy West

Conten born and raised this skin and a view of motherfuckin. Yeah, his mother does moonshine That's always like I yeah, that's not for you. It's not you I don't mind cuckling. I like that. Oh, man. It's always so mean to me. I like it holding cuckolding whatever it's called cuckling cuckling Yeah, I don't know. All right holding whatever it's called Cuckling cuckling yeah, I'm holding all right whatever it's got I'm sorry because some fucking dude starts getting involved with the dick and I don't say I'm like whoa We're doing it. What's happening? So I'm watching like one with the guy makes you know, so he like starts tasting like I'm like I just want to see funny guys would come on me. No, gentlemen, don't look at him about watching what you fucking want to watch. No, gentlemen, but fucking I don't

It's always funny and cuckolding porn where it's clear that the husband's a porn star Yeah, he's like let me get closer. Wow Oh, you got that baby arm just tucked away That's what your band you jacked up to He's a corporate guy. He comes a corporate. He's jack. I might as well jump in. Oh, do you daddy long stroke? I'm slowing backs out. This is a funny part. I don't know how we got here But here we were talking about donuts Talking about donuts, right? What's our what's on us? And then I wanted to we're gonna go to we got to I do I'm not gonna break tonight We're just gonna keep going

We're just gonna keep going I'm gonna do the ads and we're gonna keep going We're gonna do them inside the thing cuz Dan's gonna go soon and I we're on a vibe, and I don't want to stop it But here's the thing we don't do the ads now. I'm gonna hang on. I'm gonna do the ads in a second, but we Before donut then this is what fat fucks we all are in the car, including, especially me, Lewis and Chris. I go, do you guys want to get a slice of Ben's grandma pizza before we do? Ben's not even having happened. I jokingly said. Okay.

I was like, oh, we should do. It's gonna grab my slice. Like being, like, that's hilarious because we're only gonna get donuts. We wouldn't get pizza before. And Bobby's like, dude, yeah man, that's fucking great. Yeah, I'm gonna buy, I'm gonna buy Ben's. It's a fucking brilliant idea, dude. The way Bobby approaches food makes me wish

I would have in some other universe ran across you when you were abusing and drinking. Yeah, I know exactly who you've been. Yeah, we would have ran together so well. Dude, I do a shot, you'd be like, dude, let's do so well. Yeah, I do a shot You'd be like do let's do too shot This Bobby Bobby's face we went to the Chinese place in Boston You got so excited for the food coming out. I've never seen a good. Oh so good Bobby more excited than eating food is watching other people try new food

Oh, so he tells you about the food What did you get me at the diner where you're like? Yeah, you've never fucking had this I was like no It was it was a mousaka mousaka. You brought me to korean barbecue one time first time I had it I might even have gonna watch you eat He likes cuckled. That's never gonna happen What's that like? Does he case salty? I'm gonna get involved. Give me a kiss before. I want to get involved.

And you're like, God, this dude clearly eats a lot. I'm checking out the time Bobby was, other people eat his food cuckoo. Oh, my goodness, he goes to diners. I'm thinking of what to crack. We can be millionaires. Food, cuckling, poor, what fucking blow I'm doing. It would be great. Food, cuckling bowl with fucking below up dude. It would be great

I I'm fat fucked All right, and you know it's funny this fat is different because I'm not I'm getting fat in different parts of my body Like my bush fat is the fattest part of me right now. Oh, you're done. Yeah, my yes my gut All right, here's the deal. I want to make, I got a special announcement I want to make. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, first of all, I want you guys to go to twiekdodio.com, okay? You guys are listening live, make sure you go there.

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Everybody uses their phone at the gym in the car and these headphones are amazing. So go to tweakedaudio.com, a sponsor of the YKWD and use the code word dude and get 33% off and free shipping. And go to Amazon on the YKWD site on riotcast.com and use that link when you buy things off the internet. Make sure you use that link and we get some money.

And that's it, right? We don't do Gamefly no more. And also check this out. Listeners are winning huge cash prizes every week at DraftKings.com. It's America's favorite one week fantasy football site. One week fantasy football means no season long commitments. Play whenever you want. Got an injured player, no problem.

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You guys ready for this? Yeah. I'm very, very, very, very excited. Do you know the big announcement? Does anybody know this? Is it a new podcast? It is a new podcast. I don't know.

Does anybody in the chat room, we wanna guess who the new podcast is? We'll have to wait a second, but sure, yeah. How long, what is the delay on that, by the way? I think it's pretty instant. Really? Yeah, I mean, they need time to process who the new podcast with you could be.

So. Okay. You have to give him time. Okay. Let's give him time. Yeah. Who do you think it is? Buck Angel.

Uh, uh, Yep. The mayor of the pussy. Ooh, metal Fred guesses Arty Lang Why that's a fucking good yeah, you guys see his new special I'm announcing it now Yeah, but you didn't tell you didn't put like the info in it. You just put a national announcement You don't know do you we got a couple of you know? Oh, but the I'm asking you a question All right, didn't answer the fuck you like my wife

You had to you fucking always on defense All right, so go ahead deep who we got a couple of guesses from the chat. Okay, some people think that you might be working with Anthony Kumilla It's Kumilla, but go ahead No, no boo's never getting on that chat They would use me as the green screen God No shit. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no It's man Sam. He's so great. Fucking great. He's a great radio guy. Very fucking great. And I can't believe satellite hasn't given him his own fucking show. Like his own. Totally great.

Five days a week. You know, some more Sam. No, I'm not calling that fucking piece of shit. We're shooting it. It's Monday Night Raw. He's watching Raw right now. Come on, pick up. Is this the person whose broadcast broadcasts it is? No

Why are you saying no? Because he's not a moron This most People are guessing nor Mcdonald what that's it It's right. No, I'm kidding. Oh fuck. I almost got so excited We It's right no I'm kidding. Oh fuck I almost got so excited We Else people are guessing Bill Murray, which is clearly a joke big. Why the fuck is it clearly a joke? She's a little on the league of the podcast. Don't you think? Yeah, Bill Burns are doing a podcast good luck getting him on your

You don't know that now you give me stuff all right right. Here we go ready. Let's see if the the person who's coming to who else already laying possibly no, it's not I love already Yeah, I'm gonna some description service. I had them on tap at radio last week. We could do that whenever mine Yeah, it's it's not happening See if he answers he's not gonna answer someone guess Don my wife If my wife and Lewis this wife had a podcast together Don and B. Yeah, don and B Listen to old YKWD podcast Are you ready for the announcement? I'm pumped.

Who's it? That got a hard one. That truck cuts in and Chris cut. It's called, it's called, it's called, it's called, Doc of the Doc. I'm very excited to announce, a new member of Ryakastcast Pete Corielli. Yes and Sebastian

Their podcast which I'm a fan of which is very successful on its own By itself they we we we were talking to them for the last year about coming on over they were with another network We were talking to them for the last year about coming on over. They were with another network. And they left them for a while. And we talked a little bit, and now they're coming over to Ryorkass. So this this year, the today is actually the week anniversary of the Nick Dupalo coming to the network,

which is one of my favorite podcasts I listen to once a week. He's just fucking hilarious. Yeah. And then we got it Dante Nero, the beige Phillips show, which is amazing. And now we have another great show. Be Carol Elley, one of my favorite comedians. He is one of the both of them.

Yeah, Sebastian. Sebastian is a fucking beast. He's so funny. What fucking great guy? You guys comics like favorite, I've never seen him, but I had so many people say that there is his favorite live guy to watch. Who Sebastian?

Yeah, he is. Oh fucking funny. But Pequery Alley, when I moved to New York, I was like, this guy's one of the best comedians I've ever seen. Peates, one of my favorite people on the planet Earth. So fucking fun. We go to the cellar together. We both kind of came in at the cellar together.

Me, him and Godfrey, and I mean, he is so fucking funny, dude. What do I first got in here? One of the greatest guys. I was still smoking, and Corieli was downstairs, and he goes, you going out for a smoke? And I go, yeah, I'm going to go out, and then he's like talking to Norton or something, and I'm standing there, and then, like, wait around, I'm like, hey Pete, you want to go? He goes, all right, all right, Jesus jesus you make plans like we're going on a camping trip

he's he walked out of the uh... guys like all right come on maybe laugh i think i really have an asshole is the funny he's one of the funniest guys walk in the planet he's just so should be i've never seen somebody what word socially okay okay close enough socially socially socially i just make up a word yeah yeah yeah the bleia what

you're a boss so should, yeah. Yeah, it is a bleah. What? Social. Social. Why did I make it? Social. You know, um, social. Social.

Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes you need to add a blay in a word. Yeah. I want to say blay and stink. I stink social. Social. Social.

We were going to let it go. I think Dan was going to let it go. I think damn gonna let it go That's very cordially That's why I like him he's a corduble guy. That's a big get Bobby It's a big get and I fucking love it and I'm very excited and it's been all you know We had a wait and see make sure that they were cool and they really wanted to do this and we're very Excited to have them. It's an insanely funny interesting. I mean you can't get to more charismatic People's do's their panel house dudes, but they they have the gift of gab You know, I mean I don't have the gift of gab. I can talk I can be funny

I can hang with other comics, but there's some guys who are meant to be on the radio I think Dan you're one of them. I think Lewis is definitely not one of them. You know what I mean? Big J big J But not kidding. Yeah big J absolutely There's certain guys that are meant to do that and and those two are definitely one of them Corioli can just file us listen like I talk all the fucking time He was great on brewer show on brewery serious show He was he had been his own show after it. Yeah

Yeah, it's called the peat and Sebastian show It's it's coming over today is its first day. So well actually this is airing Monday So today but next week, so it's awesome. So welcome to the network. Please, all the people that listen to the show, go, subscribe, review on iTunes, and make sure you let them know that you heard them from the show and you're over there now and you're a fan. So, Riot Cascets, even bigger, which I'm excited about. And then we have another big announcement coming out in a, virtually, shortly huge. Lewis is leaving?

Yeah, we have to cut a couple of shows off the network because the blanket won't be fucking like right now. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's like when the NFL got a new expansion team. Yeah. They're like either we got to move this team to a different city. Yeah. Look at baseball when they moved the exact now.

Exactly the exact same. Exactly the exact same. But I knew baseball same but I knew baseball I didn't know football How it is apples and oranges Who's bananas that I want it? You want it? Yeah, I do what can I have it? I'll show what are you hungry? I have Louis have Louis the first half and my son's free. No, what do you mean he's free? They put the room free free for now

Listen to the door. He'll be us came and got him he'll be locked he'll be locked up again someday trust me You kid got big dude. I show that bitch. fucking showed it's dude. It's terrible. Yeah Dude, he's fucking huge. He's literally up to my waist. Dude. He heads butts me in the dick all the time He's a baby. Why are you gonna do? Why are you gonna do it? He headbutt? Why why why why why he's being honest. He's real I'm Being honest Let's be young No, I'll say I'll pussy

Your son Obama's a bitch too. You know man. I'm back motherfucker into you. I'm thinner I ain't getting I ain't getting fat again That's pussy I had a beamer and a show Can you not go on me when I'm eating you cock sucker now go back on me Michael they'll be coming for you something Good, I'm looking a lot good Brenda was it. Yeah, it's cuz I'm fat and bald Nothing to do with the accent The fuck up Dan Shut your mouth you fucking come

All right, so listen here's a deal Fuckin hey I Went apple picking What you fuck is that? What the fuck was that? I'm doing the next Tuesday with you? My girlfriend you going on a Tuesday. Yeah, who does fucking schmucks are at the fucking you're by yourself You mean am I a schmuck? Yeah, I went Saturday. I went on Sundays with her. I eat I want on Sunday Yeah, because it's fucking yeah, yeah on a Tuesday you get all the fucking maple donuts you want they're on there You're the only people what the fuck is up with this why am maple donuts and and and and and and have

I'm not trying to be healthy at all dude. Yeah, it's great Isn't it it is first? Well, we found the best one ever to go It's what you go, which way the fuck up way out. We go by Westport What yeah, was a West Point West Point. Okay, way the fuck up and you have to They have you can you can pick tomatoes. You can pick grapes I know I know that fuck you up. I know I know we know we know Yo DJ hit that shit That fuck you up. I know I know we know we know Pay to do migrant one Yo DJ hit that shit We got it deaf jam fucking set

Why people pay to pick shit? What the fuck I can't comprehend the men don't understand and I'm talking to my wife used to you want to go I want to fucking you talking to yeah, I'm big Welcome to the most wicked worked over premise in comedy and what's the deal with airplane? My wife used to you want to go at what a fucking you talking to Yeah, I'm big this the fuck out of you Welcome to the most big it worked over premise in comedy it was to deal with airplane That cotton picks her off the back of a truck That's gonna be high and outside. It's like those Jacob's. I wish you were outside right now.

Here's a deal. You go up to this place. It's a farm, okay? It's a farm, an apple farm. They have pears. They have tomatoes. They have grapes. They have all kinds of grape.

They have a pumpkin patch. And you go up and you pay, you get a wagon. You buy a wagon. If you don't buy a pay, you get a wagon, you buy a wagon. If you don't buy a wagon, a lot of people, we don't need a wagon. It's fucking $2. Get the wagon. So you don't look like an asshole carrying a pumpkin

and two bags apples with a kid and you're fucking, you're looking at it. So you get the wagon and then this place has apple pickers. It's a, it's a, Mexicans that you're yellow. I want that apple. Okay, I'll do't do higher I can't go higher for the apple you are stupid I want a new apple picker give me a different taller give me get someone to speak English over here I want a taller lighter one to make me feel more comfortable

Why you why you why, we don't have apples. So you get, it's a stick with the metal thing on it. And you can, you know, you just see, you get the ones up high, especially this. You're a poster apple picker with the, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's a fuck. Because this late in the season,

most of the apples are fucking picked. The only ones that left are on the high trees. So then you buy a bag in a box and we went over to the tomato patch and we picked like four or five, a lot of them are gone, but you find them. You get these beautiful tomatoes. Then we went to the grapes and we did.

I don't know if you ever picked grapes off a vine before. First of all, you walk down the grape a vine rose and it smells Like fucking grape juice It's like you're fabulous again. What the fuck I did not listen Listen I did not mean to look at you it wasn't I felt like what you would say was I'm the only thing that can make it better. Some bake macaroni, Chris. That was you need to have. It's not a lot chicken gives it a nice stoop to sit on. That's seen in house party too. With that boy in the center in the cool. Alright, okay. Alright, so anyways. It smells like grapes. You go, you go down there. It smells like grapes. It's it's a man you're picking there's like red grapes There's white grapes. There's there's purple grapes and you're picking them right off the vine and you can eat them and they fucking

They're amazing. What about the pesticides? But there's a lot of pesticides. No, they don't have them here I think they use the metal problem to keep them. Maybe that's why I fucking one of my eyes keeps twitching Bobby's turning to him. You know, if you eat enough DDT, it fucking, makes you fucking lose a lot of weight. So and then we went over to the apple, we picked a bunch of apples and it was fucking great. I mean, you wash it off.

We had like a bottle of water. You wash the apple off, handed it to Max. He just starts fucking chewing on an apple that he picked off a tree. And then we went over, we got a little lunch, we sat down in the pumpkin patch, he fucking, you know, we picked out a huge pumpkin, and then you go and you get the donuts, which are fucking hot. So hot. This donut's there too.

I had donuts. No, that's everywhere you go. I had more donuts. You put like 15 whole shut the fuck up, Scopo up scope off I told you not to fucking say that I think of it was a story about You know that was between us. I didn't hire a hiding food in my house You go into the clinic you but I like like with the clinic was great. We they had donuts Yeah, I put a tie on the side of the road. That was all right. Don't you get don't Yeah, I blew a tie on the side of the road. That was all right. Toad truck and doughnut.

How did the Toad truck have to go? Dude, I went to the dentist the other day. When I was leaving, they gave me a toothbrush, toothpaste, and a fucking donut. Yeah, he did it. You go on a two day. The only big places they give for you, don't ask. I wish that.

I remember real estate, and Anthony was fucking great, didn't give me a great donut house. Check this out. Two dozen donuts. I'm not closing. I gave you the first one. You done put a fucking game in that one. down the house check this out two dozen down I'm closing What a fucking game you that was you went at closing you greedy Deep on a Tuesday But pickin for shit. I think I went apple picking when I was really young. Yeah, I need pieces shit

Pickin for fucking. I don't even know what makes curry, but whatever plant that is Piece of shit picking for fucking I don't even know what makes curry but whatever plant that is I like the fact he didn't know I need to get this out Pick in your native Spicy piece of shit mangoes that would be good. What? That would have been good. Oh, they don't want a mangoes. Where would the fuck you from? Yeah Brooklyn I Mango's in wherever the fuck you're from yeah Brooklyn I I Mean look it's firstly drive up there. It's beautiful drive. Yeah, it's amazing 9 a all the way up

You see in the foliage which I love I love the fucking trees. I love I don't care. I know that shit's corny I love it. It looks like me but glaze down. I know it on the fucking trees You go up wait you go up you go up over the bridge Right it's fucking great, but you go on a Tuesday because then me my girlfriend could throw apples at each other like assholes It's all you're doing I'd be picking apples all of a sudden when I'm just flying over the top like What the fuck and I see my girlfriend laugh from the aisle Jesus Christ apples can hurt I'd like what the fuck I see my girlfriend laugh from the aisle Jesus Christ apples can hurt Fucking psycho

It was real Turns out I got a hell of a forcing fastball I could take her out right there Fucking wiping the drool of your girlfriend cheek like we're in an open relationship now The only thing you can eat the only thing you can eat is maple donuts. I can't do apple. I'm like, maybe don't you love this? I have to. I bow face.

I have to drink my apples from now on. I wish I could hold him again. I fucked up. I slipped on a branch. I think we're an apple. Oh shit. Well, it's, you've never been out apple picking Lewis. That's how you survive. I know he's been apples stealing. Is that where you take your backpack and you sneak on to Old Man Broughton's farm?

Are you taking all of his apples? And then you take the back of the cave to eat. What do you think he would live with a farm? What cave? I don't know. He's back stories like he's a box card children. I remember the books. I remember the box card children. Yeah, I spent three years of my life living in the fields. Hey, what do you, either the rabbit? Have you ever been apple picking? I don't think I've ever been apple picking. I was going to invite you and be to a James Because I get to man will come Cuz who a to shoot as one of spent time with me anyway, what?

No, it's just I know I had such a great weekend with you and you were so nice I didn't want you to go dude. Yeah, I just yeah, I didn't want to fuck it up. You don't want to double down on Louis I don't double down on the list. I walked out even and I just wanted to I was Vegas it was good She was showing a five I'd walk away I lost 150 bucks, but you got a good loose And uh, yeah, you've never you've been yeah, that's a you've definitely been with your family, right? You like it. I don't remember that much. I was like 10 probably last time. I'm gonna we should all go apple picking YKW Apple picking. Yeah, we all we all go like on it. We all go They turn into the Apple throwing within five. First of all, we have to stop and get pizza before we went then Donut then and then we'd fucking go. I want to go to donut devil you guys

Fuck that was good. I'll go to donut then every cheat day. I swear See we can make it a thing on Saturday nights. This is when you ruin things What? Because you want to make things a thing and then it'll be a podcast. Do we do a podcast at the donut then My seventh podcast called then Now we're not going to we're not doing the thing. We'll go again though I'm not making you to think dude. I'm gonna die I can I gotta stop I gotta stop it's like I'm watching a fucking my hair Sticking you don't know the wrong way. Okay first of all, you were fat five months ago.

You were a moose. You were a moose. Stop acting like you have anything to do. Not with Dan. I'm going down. I'm going down. Yeah, dude, you look good in clothes. It's hot.

Lewis, you'll be back, brother. I won't be back. You will be, brother. You'll be back. Are you sure you do some back? All right, let's bet right now. February. Before we end the show

February are you crazy? No, you gotta give you look at dude now. I'll tell you what's gonna happen. This is what's gonna happen Be's gonna get pregnant again, and it's over dude. I'm She by who She's gonna get it sucked out of her that's what I'm saying Be's gonna get pregnant by Chris I like when it's going that talk to me. I think she will say the end word. I'll listen when it's flying from all over the assuming that.

I think you'll definitely be fat again. And I say within two years, Lewis will be a fatso. Yes, it's two years to two years. And I'll bet I'll bet a hundred dollars. We got this time next year. I'm believing in you, Lewis. I'm gonna say you're not gonna get fat. I'm not gonna get in two. I'm gonna take three though. I'll give I'll bet a hundred dollars. I got this time next year. I'm believing in you, Lois. I'm gonna say you're not gonna get fat. I'm not gonna get, you're gonna say I'm gonna take three though. I'll give it all, say five.

I'll get fat again. But the time I'm 40, I will be fat and I'm just gonna let myself go. I'm not gonna continue. There's no way, because here's the thing, this isn't a sustainable thing, okay? Like I am obsessed with it and I'm continuously working out and dieting

and focused on it. And you can only do that shit for so long. If I let go, the way my metabolism works, if I just eat bad for two weeks and don't exercise, it is very, very noticeable. So that's what happens. You can only keep it up for song, but I got a good five year run in me, I'd say right now.

I did it the first time I was in shape for like three and a half, four years, like really in shape. I love, I love Depot. This is how much I love Depot. I saw Chris's shoulder was in and I was like, I meant why is Chris not in the shot? And I tapped on the shoulder, he just said, oh, come on, I got it.

And he just cut Chris's shoulder completely out of the shot. So it's just Louis, he fucking hates you, Chris. I'm like, we have to fuck his scope. Oh, there he is. All right, you got the shot. You look sort of the replay Chris has cut out of everything he says. I know.

So yeah, I'm like Chris who? Yeah. Yeah, dude, Apple picking is a fucking, is a fun. Here's the greatest part about it. You're picking these apples and you get to eat them. And then you, you pay, you pay to pick apples. Yeah, it's really not that much. Fuck. I got a towel. I spent the hundred bucks to do. You uh, you pay uh, you pay to pick up. Yeah, it's really not that much. Fuck it.

I got a towel. I spent the hundred bucks, dude. It's just like fucking apple. Relax, hang on one second. The apples are delicious. I got two, I got two huge bags of apples. There's two bags of apples, like six dollars at the supermarket. Hang on, let me fucking,

you don't got to do manual labor. You better come with something good. I am good. I got a big huge pumpkin. That was 30 bucks and donuts and I got donuts And I got a hamburger And I got a hot dog just in case the hamburger wasn't good And everything in my chips that is

Such the equivalent of me having a beer before I leave because my friends calling a cat I'm gonna get a cap. I'm gonna be right you You're gonna get it. Yeah, dude. It's bad. I'm done though. I think I'm done I think I'm done. Why? How what do you mean why? I don't know cuz my button in my jeans right now hurts Jotavy bro What the fuck joy of life really? What the fuck No way of life really I was a bit

What the fuck are you doing? It's why smoke weed and eat ice cream till four in the morning. Why can't stop won't stop I'm in a depression spiral. Are you in a depression spiral? No, but yeah, I love getting high and play We have a lot of great shit going on. Why you depressed in I should be depressed. Why you depressed? Why you depressed? I'm that I just came out you can't hear all the positive Are you really we just come out of a depression? Yeah, I was bad like what happened two years shit That's fine dude. It's okay When first of all we're not we're not gonna get sad. We're gonna make fun of you to

Yeah, if you think Hey, first of all, we're not gonna get sad. We're gonna make fun of you, too, the whole thing about you. I'm gonna mock you the pressure. Yeah, if you think we're, oh no. No, but I get depressed a lot, too. And one thing I've learned how to deal with my depression has turned into anxiety. Yes, doughnuts turned into anxiety and then turns into fucking rage.

Wow. Which sucks. It trusts your anxiety. Thank you, Alan. I had an argument with four people today. Two of them didn't exist, and I was by myself. I love fake arguments. Oh, I get a perfect one.

There was a guy that I swear to God, I said it on stage tonight. I go, there was a guy walking across the street that didn't walk fast tonight, and they gave me an attitude. And I yelled at him. He didn't exist. It was a guy, it was like, if it happened. I was like, mother fucker. You know, fucking look at me. He didn't exist. It was a guy. It was like if it happened I was like motherfucker. You know fucking look at me. I swore I fucking run you over bitch You don't know me. I yelled at my friend's mom in a fake argument last night, dude

I yelled at you tonight really by myself for what did I do? I don't know I just think my girlfriend always do this because we have fake fights with each other in our heads They're like what did you do in the fake fight? So what did I do in your fake fight? Oh you didn't really happen. You guys just kiss passion at least are fucking no Yeah, you and your girlfriend a fucking it's so hot dude. Oh, she's smoking hot, but I just it's just such a perfect relationship Thank you. Yeah, yes Like what would you fight about last thing you thought about you are more perfect? No, you're more perfect You're white no you're white your career is going great your career is going great. You know what our career is going great

Let's go apple picking my father's gonna drive us All right relax come on No, what the fuck are you what the fuck do you fight about? You know if one of us is being a dick like what I don't know I can't think of one right now You're boring. Let's go back to your death depression. You're in Why the fuck do you depress for two years? You're thinking about your career guy go My mind was sick and then she died Fuck

We get a good I can't I want them did that one of us go on we got thought of women that bad it was fucking horrible Yeah, let's fucking do it. Let me ask you question. What's up? Will you and your mom close? I'm black I'm fucking love my mom. I love my dad too. I love my mom. I'm like dear. You just didn't know him. You'll be idea of it Dad's like water slides Josie friends that have them. I wonder whether I realize I can't swim.

Yeah. That's just sounds scary. Just flying down. I'm sorry. I'm a man hug you. Who did you get yours from? You got really serious right there. What?

Not that. Because he kept hitting that microphone with his dumb knee. I think it's, I will sad that your mom passed away. I mean, can I ask, do you mind if I ask which you passed away from? Jesus. This is getting worse. Well, if I don't stay, I will sad that your mom passed away. I mean, can I ask you mind if I ask which you passed away from? I don't stay that I really give a fuck. All right the fuck you what you die for I know she died for my most grosses. What is it?

Most of all sclerosis. Shit. I told you it's not gonna get fun. What is that? Is it what Richard prior died up? Yeah, that's cool. I mean Richard prior Richard prior died the same thing on my mom, at least I got it. Let me ask you a question, was it bad at the end? Did you have to take care of her? What did you have assistance? I had a great year in the office.

What? I was gonna say Lewis's mom died of the same thing on any bruised head, the courts in heroin. You know what I'm saying? I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, Oh man, it was legitimately cool.

It's a heroin. Like that isn't sexually cause of death. That's what it says that that's okay. So man, so we, do you have a big family? It was just you. No, it's big. No, it's big enough. I got two older brothers.

Two older brothers, yeah. That's sexy. Yeah, we hung out. No, it was, yeah, she was the last one. Did you guys take pictures that are funeral? Can you give a barb's exactly. Yeah, we had a nut. Yeah, it was it was. Yeah, she was the hospital. Yeah, did you guys take pictures of her funeral? Give it to Bob again. No, we don't. That happened a lot. That's a good. Chris is a scope. I was like a cop asking the questions. I have my brother just got shot. They got you

what you guys doing. Let's play a little basketball. Okay, pictures of the funeral. Because Bob are killing. Now, you guys, you guys, uh, we will fucking ran without that goofy shit. That's the words when you go to fucking black funos, everybody's the standard of You guys you guys That's the words when you go to fucking black funos everybody's the standard and they try to happen to casket I wouldn't know We are dude are we you dresser up in a big shirt? P. Her it's like her own shirt is that fucking You get that sounds incredible though. Maui Lai you man.

You out you out you a mom. Did you mom did you mom ask you to stop doing comedy before she passed? Oh, baby. I got one wish. Stop saying I'm stupid ass jokes. Please get a job. You are just not. My grandfather basically said that to me before he passed away. He's like, you

still doing that comedy thingy? I went kind of for a living. All right, nice talk idea. So that's fucked up, man. I mean, that is sad. But you know what? Here's the greatest part about being a stand up. You took it on stage. How great is that? And she'd be, I mean, she's probably looking down on you. Or up, or up. I don't know her. I don't know her. Lewis, she's probably looking down, but she came. My uncle is right. Make heaven is reserved for white people.

She's in black heaven. What is black heaven? It's sideways. She's looking. Black heaven is just like a nice cold attack of suburbs. Right. Black heaven is apple picking. Black heaven is. Have you ever ridden the pony?

That's black heaven. So you just, so you're out of it, man. You got out of the depression. Yeah, I might as well be. Did you go to therapy? No, I just, what's up with like people in therapy? Fuck therapy. I want fucking man with and I'm gonna figure the fuck out and I don't care if I die in the process. I'm not talking to somebody

but I'm a problem. I gotta go back to you. Do you do? Yeah. Why? I haven't seen it like three months. I don't want to say it again. But I love it. I love that. I want to do it. You know what I'm doing. I didn't do therapy. But I just talked to like one of my dad because my dad's a preacher. He got a preacher. I'm cool with. Right. I want to do it. You know what I'm, I didn't do therapy, but I just talked to like one of my dad, because my dad's a preacher, he got a preacher I'm cool with. I talk to him. You're dad to preacher?

Yeah. That's awesome. That's really good. Is he seeing your comedy? Yeah, yeah. My dad, you know what's funny? My dad likes dirty ass comedy. Really?

He loves it filthy. He loves filthy. And I'm not even dirty enough for my dad. I feel fucking angry. What time other than chance? It was, I'm not purchasing. I ain't done that. I'm a prank.

I'm a prank Jesus. I'm a prank Jesus puts a man in you you talk about the real shit But then tell him about white people of Africa Bigger That's easy motherfucking yeah Oh God damn blah blah blah Karithian 7 Motherfucker get that shit going I'm up there doing real shit. Turn my real Jesus So so you you got you're out of it now you are you are you past it or is it still fucker?

Yeah, my mom or the depression depression You done with it. I didn't know because I've known you not well of course for the last few years I would say seeing your popping around but you never you always look happy Oh, it's okay shit. It was a lot of blocking going on a lot of people didn't realize that Man row and fucking a right superman row and dare come on they would literally when I was having shitty days They would block people away from talking to me. Really? I would snap out. I would they would start talking I would start ripping into them. I'll tell you literally one of the best ballbusters. I know Chris cotton So much Chris cotton this guy. Oh, I am

What are the most in so much fun because he's like you know, he's a disciple of Keith Fuckin they should all be killed anything Keith has to do it Anything Keith has to do is I'm gonna be on the I call you out. You want to hear the message? What do you hear the mess? This is my fucking one of my best friends Keith Robinson I got a young blood on you when you guys were smashing rich boss on the comedy So that was great and Vos just had you and Monroe coming and then Keith was behind you like you guys were fucking rock Wilders on a chain. I see it. Get him. I see People down. I see you guys outside the cellar.ers on a chain. I see him fucking get him. Get him. I see him out.

I see you guys outside the cellar. I'm like, I just walked the other way. I'm like, I don't know what fucking start with you. I love it because I know I could walk right up and verbally punch Chris Cotten in the face. And he'll be like, no, there's soda. I love it. Tim and Monroe, whatever I see him,

I'm like, what can I just shit on him for? Yeah, I'm gonna fuck. Keith Robinson is just the fucking, he's the biggest piece of shit. I love him but most opposite ends right here by hey it's male is like you it's great it's riddled with

are you ready this is ready this is Keith Robinson this is my good friend Keith Robinson yeah I ate stupid but what are you talking about I'm not here well you what do you mean I'm stupid. What are you talking about? I'm not here. Well, you, we, I'm not here. You are there. You just have to pick up your fucking phone. Wherever you are, you're phone is. Do you understand that concept? I'm not here. It's just so cool. That means it's so cool. Go wherever you are. So actually, you're there. You're as you are.

I'm busy. That sounds better. How about using that word? I'm busy. Which we both know yet not. I'm a little with some shitty drum set. everything's gonna be okay, but guess what? It's not There we go. There we go That's key That's it. What are my favorite? That's my that's one of my that's and this is a constant I have I have fucking a hundred of this this cocksucker's one of my, and this is a constant. I have fucking a hundred of these. This coxucker is one of my closest friends.

I love that guy. I love Keith Robinson. Fucking coxucker. One of the best things ever is one time, Derosa called me and he had you and Keith on a three-way call. Oh, Jesus, please. And I remember all of a sudden Joe was like,

what do you think about Soder? And I was like, why would he say that? And then you say, Keith, that's a bad one. Go, ah, don't like him. He's like, what about you, Bobby? Bobby, guys, you know what, guys? I just want to apologize. I want to apologize for putting Dan Soder on my podcast.

And I just laid on my couch and for 30 minutes, you guys beat the shit out of me, brother. The funniest line was Keith goes, and I hate his dumb 49ers. His quarterbacks make him a racist. By the way, there shouldn't be black quarterbacks. What are the hardest ever laughed at my life? That's like a treat of being a comic in New York, where you just take these fucking beatings.

The Rosa Cosmium, I feel like Keith's all this fucking fucking fucked. So he does that shit all the time, dude. Fucking hilarious. No, it's gonna go. God, fucking Robinson's the best. Yeah. Colin Quinn's is a fucking the best, too. That cocksucker will really heal. I'll call him up here.

Catch my my phony tone in a second. And go, wait a minute, you piece of shit. You called me. You know what I'm calling it? You know what I'm calling it? This is a man. This is a famous person. I'm gonna speak biting his finger. Just yelling cock sucker into a phone.

Fuck it Chris. Wow dude. Look I'm glad you're out of your impression and I'm sorry to hear about your mom but you know what? It seems like again funny has helped you through it. And now you get some good new jokes. What's the joke? Okay jokes. I'm working on them as a new stuff. Yeah, it's new shit I just started talking about that sucks me doing a joke that really means something to you the bombs Like my mom had a die for this shitty joke. Jesus craze you pieces of shit. I didn't say that Okay, I'm back to my head on that one So 50 50 is like some crowds are like oh It's so 50 50 is like some crowds are like oh

Cuz they don't give a fuck about me. I'm like oh shit is mom like bitch That's a funny part people go like is like oh you can't do it's my it's my We do too We love how you love how you dad died the parking lot of a cow door. Yeah. Breathe. Breathe. Oh, Jesus. Sorry, dude. Is that real?

God, my name Jesus killed him. Oh, God. It's fucking crazy. Jesus. I was found. I lizard. We're going to wrap this fucking big up. Unbelievable.

That is so fucking sad. No, you didn't end it sad. Listen, let's go to the chat room real quick before we walk out of anybody in there. Nobody's sad, right? What do we got? What are they talking about? Joe says never have this guy on again. It's depressing Yeah, good deep who want to fucking screeching halt just fucking speak ass all come on keep the fucking show going What does it say metal Fred says I'm not surprised?

Keep doesn't know what voicemail is Yeah, I mean it's tried a lot of people saying there, they feel bad for Chris. Most of it is niggin niggin niggin niggin. What does it say? Read him fucking, oh god. If I read him directly, they would be, they would fall pretty flat.

I want you to read them directly and fall flat, because let us be the judge of it. All right, let us add the funny to it. Jizz Jam said, Fucking asshole. You understand what I'm saying? He and his, let me fucking, let me direct the fucking show. And you just fucking do.

You know what I'm saying? We would have missed that. I would have missed that. Come on, you're tits seven. So, if we go by D-Poo's rules, we would have had Jiz Jam. I'm trying most of these names very inappropriate This game You literally couldn't have written that better There's just nothing funny on what he's going to say

Far just James I got Just James says that's gotta be the fucking name of the body Oh, yeah. Uh, just jam said, that's gotta be the fucking name of the podcast. Just jam, jam. Jim, Jim seven, go ahead. Just jam says, Jerry Shepardini.

Yeah, oh my God, I hate him. That's a song that Norton sings to get stuck in my head every once in a while. Jerry Shepardini, that'll be stuck in your head later. Tonight you'll be with your chick or home with your kid, what, somebody ate? Are you living alone now? Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam bannon, bannon, bannon, bannon, bannon, bannon, bannon, I'm living alone.

Beatrice does not like me. Jerry, Shepardini. Alright, what else? A bunch of people are saying that you look like Lord Varys from Game of Thrones. Oh, to hell take that. Now I've got my spiders everywhere. I've got my spiders everywhere. Sometimes I keep a saucer. You look at it. You know in West Rows all the secrets go off. That's show fucking funny how I do it. Go ahead, what else?

That was two things that were fucking hilarious, by the way. You fucking curly-haired cock-cksaka. You know what to do I got what else metal Fred says I feel bad for Chris. I'm gonna follow him on Twitter I'd block him I'm just talking to Chris Scobo for nothing funny Hi, what else? Jerry shit, Bardeen I'm stuck again, isn't it? Yes, I'm so worse Hi, what else Jerry shit party

What else just your skull says Lewis goes banana picking Fuck you Maddie just so see the intern on my fucking show you're fired that your internet. Yeah, he's fucking funny He's very funny. I'm not like I'm wearing the same shirt. Yeah, go ahead Is Kelly still in the fucking chat? No, she hasn't she was here. She's sorry. Yeah I could probably pipe that in too if you want next time no, what do you mean pipe it in feed of her hanging? No, I don't want to know Should we never Skype in for an episode? I could do that. We have to light that like that know. So we should never Skype in for an episode. I could do that. We have to light that like that. We're gonna quit. We'll talk after. We have Kelly Skype. Yeah, we'll have Kelly Skype next time if she wants to, if she's there. Who else? What else? Anything else? She got a Skype from like a voyeuristic

angle so I can jerk off to it. Oh, you're coming back? I'm not kidding. I'll watch you just to jerk off. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm depression for two years now. I'm gonna cry My name's Chris Cartier Ah, where Joe the Rosa and big J once came Bring them back I know, bring him back hurt. I know, little, little hot kill. I know hot sidewalk keeps running. I know all of them.

Yeah. I know, I know. J. My name is Chris Cotton. Because you know you have to go blind when you're older, right? I'm just playing the slide guitar. If you don't go blind and you're not on a porch playing in the guitars, I went, I made this guitar

when I was 11 year old. I'm a harmonica technical. Oh my God. Why did you not let that die? I made this guitar when I was living in a room. It's like I tried to do a soda and he failed. And I live in a room. I live in a room.

I live in a room. I just live do a soda and he failed and I'm leveled oh I'm leveled oh I'm just leveled half he's got a leveled oh I'm speaking in gibberish oh my butt oh my butt my butt is fucking just digging into my fat

alright alright alright I can speed fat sucks so much dude my now it's just sucks dude living life sucks being fat.

Are you trying to get me to fucking kill myself tonight? I'm just saying. Let's try to think over the podcast. Every, mm-hmm. I, yeah, but it's funny, I mean this, this roll that I'm doing, I'm fat. I mean, I'm fat in it.

Like the jokes wouldn't work. There's one joke. I think this is one, in the contract, if you lose any weight, I'm fat in it. Like the jokes wouldn't work. There's one joke. And there's one. In the contract, if you lose any weight, you're off the show. I'm off the show. I mean, I could've listened. I could've lost some. I fucked up.

I went too far. Didn't Larry say not to? He did. But I fucked. I could've. You could've trimmed. You could've. Yeah, I fucked up, dude.

I look out, I get into depression with good stuff I'll do the same and stress. I used to deal with stress with cigarettes coffee pussy drugs alcohol And now it's just food down. That's dude all day fucking it's fucking sad But I gotta get a hold of it because I can't I can't this is the last beast for me to conquer I gotta clear my house that's how I do it. It's the one I snick I have to eat. Yeah, but I get a kid and I get a wife and I can afford to fucking buy shit. Yeah, everybody eat healthy.

That was the fuck you do. Yeah, but that's great. That's a good thing though for Max. If you're, you know, you want to implement health. He's way better than me, dude. She cooks, she doesn't do baby food. She cooks him food every fucking day. Three meals, four meals a day.

He's eating. That's two. What was it? We cook James food every day too. No baby food. You do baby food. Yeah, we're gonna go out. First of all, how are you gonna cook food on a hot pot?

I don't know what? Hot pot. Who do you fucking hot plate? What are you grilling a fucking squash on a radiator? You give him grilled cheese three meals a day. No, you don't We're making a lot of food. No, you we do a lot of baby food though. Yeah, like just the air like the organic fucking stuff Yeah, yeah, and I did it's fine. I'm just don's don can do it be has to work you guys a hustle and fucking love don't do Why can't I be with her clean it clean the fuck I'll take be you want don't do

I would take dawn and you have to take dawn to go all place though. I get be in my house with my shower Yes, fine and my new bidet. She's fucking bender over the shower This is why she's not with you. I'm gonna actually gonna jerk off to the image of What do you got buddy? Dan what do you got Dan what do you Dan. What do you got Dan? What do you got? I Twitter at dance center. I'm gonna be I mean this is next Monday. Yeah, yeah, I'll be at laps Kirkland and also I'll be at um where and Kirkland Washington Okay, oh, it sounds fun. It is great. I love that club

And it'll be a cap city beginning of December first week of December cap city in Austin Fucking love you dude. Thanks for coming back one of the funniest guys. I love you And the fucking planet dude. Oh, love you get a new radio show too, right? Yeah, hopefully the fun out It's not official. We don't know where we're going yet. And where is it? It's gonna be un-serious you and big J Big J and I fucking great show. I've heard nothing I haven't I'm gonna be honest I haven't listened to it, but I've heard nothing but great shit about it Oh awesome, so every day it's on. No, we don't know you. We don't know good for you ramifications Chris. What do you got buddy? I got Okay

Can you really like you not under the pressure? Let me say it fast. I got let me laugh 29. B.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.O.P.O.P.O.P.O.O.P.O.P.O.O.P.O.P.O.O.P.O.O.P.O.P.O. Oh, you're here. I mean, my homie Dave Timber, we do a podcast called First World Problems, so tune in. All right, cool. Check it out. What do you got, Lewis? What do you got? Guys, go to my website, RealizeDude.com.

Stop going back and forth, talking to the microphone. Go! You sure? Go follow me on Twitter, A little bit of day coming. Is that it? I just are used to making the motion of sucking cock. So I have to do that. My button is killing me.

I gotta adjust. Oh, I'm done, dude. What do you got, Scopo? Diving at Twitter at Chris Scopo. And then Bobby's date. What do you got? Wait, let's get Deepu in there. My bet.

You can follow me on Twitter at R2D Poo. October 30th, I'll be at St. John's University in Queens. And this week only on Amazon, if you use keyword D Poo, you can get an error message that says, that doesn't fucking do anything. At kind of two or five. I will gonna work on D Poo being funnier. We didn't have a data for that.

Yeah, please give them a data. I thought it was a great joke, but all right. Yeah, well, you should wrote about that joke program you wrote. Do you have to fucking sit in your knees and pray to the east in order to get that joke? Yeah, to wherever. He's fucking. He's fucking Indian. He's fucking Indian.

It's not Arab, you fucking know it's not whatever. It's totally different religion. You know, first of all, Indian is out of religion. You fucking know that. That is fucking Indian. Indian is out of religion. Wait, who are you talking about? Indian Zana religion.

Okay. No, it's Muslim. All right, listen, can we, I gotta go. We gotta read my dates, go. I'm gonna do an argument about this dumb dumb. What religion are you? Seek. Thank you.

You shit too. No, it's not. Thank you. Do you say to Americans? Exactly. Do you really? No. Okay.

Okay. So, October 29th, Empire, Casino, and Yonkers. Oh, wait? No. Okay. Come on, no. October 29th, Empire, Casino, and Yonkers. Oh, wait! November 8th. I thought to come home to Boston Gadden, F***ing dud. Boston Gadden is 14,000 F***ing people. Are you done with that? Oh.

PMPM. 14th and 15th of November. Uncle Vinnie's and Point Pleasant, New Jersey. That's a good one. Get your tickets now. December 4th, 5th, 6th. McGubby's Joe Casse. Oh, really?

And Timonian Merlin. Why? How many nights? Three nights. Shit. And I'm only taking a look. Oh, I'm kidding. That's a third of the fronting Saturday.

That is actually a great club, man. McGubby's Joe Casse is awesome. So make sure you go to robbercaleelive.com for all my dates. You can buy the tickets right off the website and you can also get my Robbercally Live award winning app and get the tickets right off there. Make sure you support all these people that are on the show. The regulars and the new guys, the one thing the show can do for all of us. We give it all free every week, but if you could check us out, do what we do is stand up comedy. The more you guys

show up to our shows and support us live, the more the clubs will bring us back and then we get paid and so on and so forth and we can help each other out and I can bring people and then Lewis can bring people and Chris can bring people and so on. That's how it works. So you guys are the best. Thanks. Everybody who came out to Gotham this week and fans of the show, unbelievable. You guys are the best. Make sure you support all the shows on the Riotcast Network. I again want to thank Pete Carly and Sebastian Manascalco. Manascalco. Yeah. Manascalco. Who with the brand new awesome podcast on the Riotcast Network. Make sure you check it out. Support them. That's it. You guys are the best.

Thanks for listening. You know what? That's it, you guys are the best. Thanks for internet. And they're all free. And they're all free.