Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Bobby Says It Better

Episode Date: August 13, 2012

Big Jay Oakerson, Molly Irwin, Erik Rivera and Luis J Gomez join Robert and Kelly on YKWD. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un duvena que de Maú, a Madrid. Hey, this is Big J. Ogrison, the new dance soda on the You Know What Dude podcast with Bobby Kelly. Do I have to say Robert Kelly?

No, not you because you're my nice Bobby Kelly on riotcast.com Kelly on riotcast.com. Hey everybody, it's monster voice from shut up Lewis. Shut up Lewis. If you're in East Providence, Rhode Island on August 16, go see Bobby Kelly at the comedy connection. Providence. Bobby Kelly will be at the chickpea comedy connection. And Hukaloo, Hukalalu, Hukaluh, fuck me running.

That's August 17th, then August 8th, Keith Boston, the Wilber Theatre, 8PM, Go Sam Doode, shut up, Lewis. Go see Bobby Kelly Live and listen to the You Know What Did Podcast on riotcast.com. Hey gang, this is Colin Quinn. This is Jim Norton. This is Dennis Leroy. This is Opie from a lot of things. This is Bert Kreiser.

Staying cooking, you are listening to Robert Kelly's, you know what dude? You know what dude? You know what dude? This is Robert Kelly's, you know what dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude?

You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude?

You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude?

You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude it's not like the cock? You are in the pressing. It does it seriously. Rising in your face. Is that how you even hand job? You do this. Work the balls. You give someone a fucking reverser. K-J-J-He's back.

Mm-hmm. Can he stories first? I was always actually handing down Facebook. What does that mean? Oh, yeah. What does it mean? It's not like that. It's not like that.

It's not like that. It's not like that. It's not like that. It's not like back. Mm-hmm. These. Can he stories first? I was always actually handing down Facebook. What does that mean? Oh, yeah. What does pounding mean? What are they asking? Hey, if he's not here, we don't mention their names. OK, they're dead to us if they're not here.

I like it. Yeah, is that what I want to know if that's a code we're pounding. What is pounding? We know what presenting is. Oh, it's just fucking. All right, we're here. The show's rolling.

It's all right. Yeah're here the shows roll and Yeah, I don't I don't I don't do the old Hey, don't I'm a dimple Segway guy. Yeah, well, I don't do the talking about myself and third person like fucking Lewis Jay Gomez. He's crazy. He breaks all the rules man It's you Breaking the rule of being a fucking cool guy by talking about yourself in there. You're not saying. Here's what you don't realize, dude.

I wasn't talking about myself. I was talking about Chel Sonan and they pulled those clips. Yeah, well, unpol them, they is you. Don't talk about them as it's not you. Now you being weird. Listen, how you, you're fucking shattering me image that I have a they behind me. Yeah, there's no they, there's you and fucking you.

Okay, you and how about tell those assholes, which I mean you dickhead to fucking get it I want and I want you to have a fucking cool intro All right, here we go Speaking of that I just yeah, I just yeah, you feel good for a fucking second. And then you go on Twitter, some guy was just at a fucking private gig. Colin Quinn calls me up last week. You want to do a gig Wednesday night? Where?

I don't know yet, I'll figure it out. All right, me, Keith Gary Gohmins, we call him today. Where's the gig? I don't know, call my agent. We don't know your agent. I call him back. He's like, and then he gives us an address. It's not the address. It's like two blocks away. The guy goes, we go to the address. Now I'm on the

phone. I got to find the place trying to call Colin. I got Keith on the phone trying to get him over to where I'm at, which is like leading an old blind guy, you know, through rocket fellow center. I'm like, I see him. I'm like, he's literally right there in front of me. Look left. He looks right. I'm like, and then I tell him to go right, and he goes left. And then I'm waving my hand. I literally had to wave my hands in the air and go, I'm over here on the phone while screaming

and then he finally saw me. Yeah. I do hate that I've had a situation a lot. It sucks every time. Fucking blows. And then we go do this gig and it's a bunch of nerds and it actually turned out to be an okay gig. And someone took, look at this hell fucking,

this self, just shattering this fucking world we live in is. I mean, it's fucking just devastating. I've had a great day. I woke up, I went to the boxing gym for the third day in a row, killed it. I mean, just collapsed at the end, ate salad for lunch. Okay, I had salmon. I went and I had a meeting at

CBS great I went home and took a little nap and then I had dinner my wife made me organic chicken breast with with crunched Fucking nuts on it instead of skin and it was Colley flounder match, but I felt great put my shirt on it I felt good. I walked over to the gig instead of taking a cab I do the show it seems like in a sucking and actually turned out good Everybody love me and then some fucking Kant takes a photo of me sideways at a fucked up angle And goes fat fucking Bob Kelly on stage You like Alfred Hitchcock walking into the fucking house.

It's just, I'll show you the picture. It's a fucking nightmare. And this guy I guarantee is fatter than me. I guarantee he sucks worse than me. I hope he's not. I tell you what, you have everybody that's coming to you, Bobby. You call me fat fuck for years. You son of a bitch.

Wait, I want a chicks. Did I? Yes. Yes. Wait, I want a chicks. Did I? Yes. Yes. Oh, I'm PJ. That's the thing. It's like, it's multiple fat guys. We think we can just like call each other fat.

What you can, you know what I'm saying? But then we don't realize there's chicks in the room. This fucking loser hurts. And first of all, he has no picture of him. He's just the egg, which is me, Jura. That egg is a baby coward cunt. That's what's in that egg. Cetify.

And there's the picture. There's the picture. I think he just made the account today. Look at that. Just me. I mean, look, I'm. I need up close. First of all, Bob, can I say something?

This isn't a shitty angle. That's you. Yeah. Go, man. If you can lie about the fucking staff behind you, I can lie about the photo dude I Don't like this It's a straight

I was I was pushing I was doing a pregnant bit and I was pushing I've lost I've lost 60 pounds over the last year yeah 60 pounds and Still when I did the uh The set on found and I got hate mail for it of course why the my Michael Vick joke. There's a petition out I wanted to talk to you about the In the hang on hang on hang on hang on go ahead. There's a petition out against me That people want Jimmy found to make a apology like a public apology on the show for having me on the it's great I think it's really how many people signed it eight no hundred a couple hundred

but by the way half of a more than half of the Marjana all signed it up we want to yeah I signed it well I signed it and when you sign it they give you a an auto response email which I didn realize, but I signed a big J. Ocarson, and I got a response email that says, big J. Ocarson, you have joined the fight against big J. Ocarson. Really? I was wondering. But before I even say, I just more about the fat thing I was saying was, when people got mad at the joke,

you make a general joke to the world, you throw it out there and it's not at anybody or two when he wanted just a. Or a story to tell. I find it so interesting, the first response as you get of a hate mail are always, like they're personal immediately. I always find that very interesting. The right way to go, they go, oh, not funny at all,

you fat fucking sloped, gross sweaty pieces. She hears like, wow, you're like, I don't know this person at all. I do feel so good that he lost all his weight First thing is you fat gross sloppy You understand this no and here's the thing this guy I guarantee is a fat is a fat mess There's no way this guy and this is what really bugs me if he wrote he wrote good set you fat fuck That doesn't bug me and then he put the photo that bothers me though

To me, okay, I can take that but my rule is Winky face when you got to put a smiley face or I love your bob Yeah, I know that you're not here's why all right, so I know that you're not a fucking just a hater that a I have a lot of I have people that follow me that just don't like me that want to fucking trash me I have a guy that literally gets a new name every week to say shit about Patrice and me and all of all my friends. Patrice? Yeah. We should done Patrice. Yeah, listen.

Faceless twos. We went through this last week. No, I wasn't here. Oh, okay. I don't like the defended Patrice, but you call me. He's right, you are a bad fuck. Why would this good in that photo?

That's not true, I love you. You better fuck me. When do you want that? I'm fucking. When you finish, love you, Why would it look good in that photo? That's not what I love you. You better fuck me. You better keep working. I'm fucking. You better just love me, Bob. Well, here's the thing. It's the exact gay thing that I want it to be, that it lets me know you fucking it eat, that you cool.

Doesn't do that, but then this is what bugs me the worst. He tweets to OPI first, but doesn't use my name, so I don't see it. He tweets OPI stupid Bobby Kelly. Instead of putting me so I'd see it at a door convention, okay? He was there! He the dog!

Yeah, I actually just wrote to him. I think you're being sensitive. What's on your own right now? You wrote to him? You wrote to him? Yeah, I wrote to him. Yeah, I wrote, I wish you came up to me and called me stupid Bob Kelly. I would have bashed you in your face, you fucking cunt.

But by the way, people kind of, and then he does come up to me and he's fucking just jacked I'm gonna write a fucking winky face on my my cheek I'm gonna do this Love you Bob. Listen before we get it Before we get this I got introduced to show first of all we got my my lover to do the show. First of all, we got my lover. I can see you do. I love her. Don't a carrier, man.

The shell is not my lover. La Lewis, Jay Gomez from Handle Thursday. What's up? And we got big J. Ocasin. Yeah. Yes, indeed. From what?

You don't give me a from anything. From Jimmy Fallon. Well, I mean, you're one of the funniest guys walking around the planet that that is a middle and so true yeah no man Jay oh cuz and you know you know everybody knows what you do and you got your own podcast what's the name of the podcast again Legion of Skanks me and Lewis Jay yeah look at the end of the guy to be a part of the z-gun that is a okay davis mith cool

and uh... and then we got a very special guest my fucking my friend and i mean you work at a possible and she is the bomb uh... she did comedy three times couple of mics and you've are you done

uh... haven't done it sober. Yeah. Why? Rock bottom was when I tried the open mics. Really? What do you mean rock bottom? Well, right before I got sober. Yeah.

Shit. It was like a cry for help. That's fucking crazy. Molly, everybody. Molly, welcome to the show. She's a fan of the show. She listens to the show all the time. And I, you know, I was like, why don't you come on the fucking show

when we do one at night. She can't do it during the day. And she's here now. And that's fucking crazy. So your bottom was doing stand up. Yes, that's when you really know. Really? Well, open mic is just like,

awful, you hate your stuff. Tell me his life. Yeah. What? I'm made into GCL. I love that Gageo. First of all, Gage Joe is here. Yeah, he And he let him nice chocolate

Well, it's so like it's mainly other comics that are there and they don't want you to do all so it's just like a loose-lose Kind of well how long go to do this now the young comics don't mix do root for everyone to do that's all they do Yeah Well, speaking of young open-mikers, Kelly, what do you prefer? What? Kelly, what do you have a middle-air? Nice.

Stop, what is this new thing you're doing? I was just in expression because I was living pain as Molly was talking. I'm sorry, my beautiful, what are you sidekick? We haven't figured that out. Fuckin' here. Yeah, Kelly, fucking, Fistilka, everybody. Hi, guys. Beautiful what are you sidekick? We haven't figured that out fucking here. Yeah Kelly fucking Fistilka everybody

Do you Do you think that do you think it's it's the The young stuff is the young the young open markers. They're actually supportive. I think that there are some mics where people are Really supportive, but it's some of the fakes shit I've ever seen It's always gonna be fake. And it's just like, oh my god, like that LA, oh my god, you're so funny, that's so amazing. And then you get the second breed that I just like, yeah, what fucking hair we're doing it wouldn't give a shit, I don't know.

I don't really, I mean, I have friends and stuff, but I don't like Roland, it sounds weird, I don't like Roland with people because I won't get any work done. The only real genuine support you'll find is the young comic isn't the older comic. Yeah, I think because they have nothing to lose by saying like you're good and I'll help you. And that's what I love hanging out with Ola to pay. Not because I'm, because it probably makes me look like a suck.

Like, even yesterday I was doing a show. Like a what? A suck. Like a suck up. You know what I mean? I just said suck. She did say suck. Yeah, but you could have figured it out, Lewis.

You didn't need to fuck it. It's not the shock of that. It's the shock you're like, there's what he did. What did it suck. Yeah, but you could have figured it out. Yes, you didn't need to stop the show Go you know it's like you like what he did. I go what he did. He's exactly. He said suck and he had nothing Yeah, I don't know what they're crazy Yeah, I'm gonna pull the brakes on the show We even like last night in a show last night. Oh, no, that's that's the impression that you guys all do you do the impression Yeah, it's great. not on. We nailed it. We love it.

We love, we love, we love Big J doing dumb Lewis. Yeah. That's like we decided to surf for Lewis. Hey guys, you want to like go to the beach? You guys like to party with my fingers in you. I got my rollerblade time, frizz. You want to party with me all the way home. Yeah. Flickens and beans. You want to party who tried me all the way home. Look at some beans.

You want a party with fingers in you. Is one of the funniest sentences that I've heard. So I'm sorry Kelly. No, no, no, I did a show last night and one of the guys at the show was like, oh look at you, huh? Look at you hanging out with like... You were talking about your shoulders. People, yeah, they're my big Chinese Olympics to my shoulders she doesn't have Michael Phelps shoulders

she really does you do you should do the butterfly when you walk actually had a fucking yeah first of all everybody knows that bandana that's on Molly right now if you throw to stinker if you throw the bomb you get that bandana rap you have to rap now. If you throw to Stinker, if you throw to bomb, you get that bandana rap, you have to rap to the rap. Just so we know who throw the last bomb. Okay, so if you get a bomb, fucking, you get that. Not that you have one, Maul. Just, that's where it landed last time.

Anyway, he was just giving me shit. Like, oh, look at the people you're hanging out with, blah, blah, blah. And it's like, yeah, but I'm not doing it, I'm not doing it because I'm trying to be a suck up. You know, I'm being insincere. I'm doing it because they teach me more and They're not gonna be hang out. You don't hang out Shit, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. She bomb that story. Yeah, you bombed in life

Your story suck I'm not gonna go hang out with comics that aren't that are below me What the fuck point is this nobody? Could you please could you please throw them a little softer and higher at us? Me and Jay almost fucking bid each other getting to that fucking stupid jokes. Why would I hang out with somebody? That's funny, then, man. Yeah, Molly was gonna come out of a sobriety

just do comedy on that one. Oh, shit. You just saying there's not a lot of supportive, there's a lot of good people, there's not a lot of supportive people. They all fake like each other. Every time somebody has a fucking birthday party, there's 400 fucking comics out there.

We talk about Joe Deroza. Yeah, he said, do Joe started it. It was Joe's fucking idea. It doesn't imply friends. He just finds it in industry. Do you mind everybody? Everybody in the fucking world? No, he doesn't. I'll tell you it in a fight one year, me and Keith Robinson.

What? Fuck enough, we had to find out from fucking like somebody a comedy central. I never went, did that make me, that whole scene makes me want to have never agreed with Joe doing that. The rose like, how do you do his birthday? Having a fucking industry party for your bird

I don't know it's not it's not an industry party man. I'm just trying to do this Hey, everyone Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Oh Dance soda is gone Jay big Jay So it is impression big Jay does no better Happy I wasn't saying that it is puppy cheeks Big Jay, so much of fish poppity Rosa big Jay does unique impressions like Jay Moore Pufferfish, pufferderosa. Big J does unique impressions like J. Moore. So Molly, let me ask you a question though.

So you fucking, you were drinking, you were at a bottom, and that's when you started doing comedy. And with the comics fucking digs to you? Yeah. Well, no. Talking to the mics, really. Sorry. Just bring it right to you.

Is that what you done in the open mic? No, what are you trying to say, is eating it. That's why you stink. Hold the mic, right? You know that would you done the open mic? No, what are you trying to say? That's why you stink. Hold the mic right. What did you do the open mic? Uh, what did I do? I did just that. Okay, bye. I'm just kidding. I'm fine. What's the thing?

I only said that Bobby, because I had bloody bad flashbacks. I know, yeah, that's exactly. I don't want you fucking stepping on everybody else's fun. Because you want to protect Molly. Molly's a big girl. She can protect herself. What was your first joke? What was your first joke?

Oh, come on, no way. Yeah. Please. I'll say my first joke. Oh, god, you have first joke. My first joke? It's a visual. Oh come on. No way. Yeah, please. Let's go. I'll say my first joke. I got you a first joke my first joke It's a visual. Oh, yeah, the impression of the impression of Elvis J's on fire J's on fire J fucking killing it good. No, you can't actually I did a fucking I did not pression of Elvis

I would go a so fucking shitty dude really did I would come out and I would go you guys want to see an impression and people It's like a no he's here like clinking around of ice cubes and glasses. And I was like, hold on, first I have to physically immensely prepare. And then I would chug a beer and then I would go, this is my grandma. Get it? Okay, wow, that's bad.

I wish you had to do 45 minutes tomorrow. That'd come out at that minute fucking 30. Oh, you do? I had one out of material at 34 minutes. So, you know the impressions? What was those cricket sounds I had before joy lists that time, I had one out of material at 34 minutes. So you know the compressions? What is this? Cricket sounds I had before joy lists that time. I had really bad. I used to have my first joke was one of them was I had I would keep a sweet and low in my pocket and I go I would do this. I would whip my hand back and forth like this like

back and forth. I got it was holding something and I go, what's this? And the crowd would go, what? Usually just one dude. And I go, me making my coffee and I take the sugar packet out and I do that. What's going to be a joke? How's that even a joke? It's not dummy. That's what I'm saying. Did you ever have a bit where you relied on somebody in the audience saying something

definitely every time? I used to have a thing, it was so awful. I was talking about putting something up someone's ass and I was giving examples and I said like, by the way, Jay has evolved that all. Oh no, I think the temple to this joking. Molly's like, that sounds like my opening bit. But I'm basically trying to get to the point

where I make somebody in the audience, like I force them to say plunger and then someone will go up. I'll tell you, but I'll say plunger and then the idea is not and I'll go, I go, oh, you must have been there before. You know, like that's the big shini joe. I'm not a rinds of lunge, I'm good, guys.

But not even that was the worst thing is like, when you're usually going to be, oh, it would take, I'd be like, you know, I do these clubs and I go, so, you know, and I'd put things up there in my ass, like a pencil or whatever, or that thing, what's that thing you use in the toilet, you know, the thing,

and you wait, and someone goes, plunger and you go, oh, you've been there. I learned it and everything would joke like that. Again, the first time you find yourself for two minutes pantomime and plunge, or no one's answering you. I really, as you know, it's a thing. I want to smash an ood over your head right now.

All right, now Liz, what was your first joke? I just would tell, it wasn't really jokes It'd be stories about actual dating experiences of the horrible Well you dropped on stage when you did it, but not no, no, I couldn't be I would have like a shot Right and then like and then you get fucked up after yeah, and now how long you miss over? Seven months for you Is it too fucking out. You're the outskis applauded one.

One day to time. One day to time. One day to time. One day to time. One of the bud assholes. I do. They're in the fridge. You're seven month ship.

I do. He's the fucking bottom gap. I've been so up to 28 years. Fuck yeah. One day to fucking time. So good for you. Thank you. I've never even seen that. years. Fuck yeah. One day at a fucking time. So good for you. Thank you. I've never even seen that.

Couldn't imagine that side of you. I've known you for 13 years now. Could you imagine that side? Yeah, I was bad. I've never seen that. It was a fucking coward side. I mean, I used to fight all the time, but it was, I was petrified all the time of being hurt.

Because I did. I got beat up a lot. And I, you know, and I would fucking, fucking you know I would always throw the first punch and you know hit somebody with something I broke a kids jaw wants. Were you over the top with it like drugs? Yeah dude I oh fuck yeah I would when I was I would say when I was 13 I could drink a pint of out now when you're 13 you have to drink illegally so you just get more because you you know it's not like you can go into the bar whenever you want so you get as much as you can 13 you have to drink illegally so you just get more because you know It's not like he can go into the bar whenever you want so you get as much as you can because you have to wait in front of a

Lucas store for five hours waiting for some creep. Yeah, some creep do you want to buy for? All right, some Lewis J. Gobe is the ball from roller blades You're gonna fucking need it off for a good time Dude, I'll blow you in the alley after and then where you go and I gotta go You boys like the party? Yeah, exactly. You guys wanna go back to my place with us? And what's the hangout in my van?

So I drank a bottle of Peppermint Snops, a pint. I could one sip half the bottle, so that's a half a pint. I learned how to put my tongue down and let it go past my tongue so you wouldn't taste it and then you wouldn't gag. That's a good Joe trick. That's, you went on, like a seagull. You want to sum crazy? I've never learned, it's the reason I don't drink with any kind of, like I've been drunk under 20 times in my life.

Right. And I've never really done any hard drugs ever. I've never even tried most of them. But, yeah, with his alcohol, like I'm never in the alcohol because I cannot, I tell him once I went with David Tell, I'm gonna tell him embarrassing this was, very early into me like going on the road with him. And he was still drinking, this is years ago.

And he was funny about Dave, he's super generous guy, but he always kind of knew what I liked, but like a little bit off, like I smoked Mar-Bor-Ultra lights and he'd be like, hey, I got you four packs of cigarettes, but it'd be like Mar-B-R-O lights. Like that kind of weird, you'd be like, yeah, I'll tell you, I'll get them from. Right.

And I would drink with him, but I would drink chilled vodka because it was the only thing that didn't taste like it. I could just like, I can keep up with them, but I didn't have to taste it too bad. You know, I'd taste it with sodas right away. Right. And I went to the bathroom, I came out,

I'd already done maybe one shot this night. I wasn't even halfway drunk, which made it more embarrassing. And I walked down. Here. I came out. I'd already done maybe one shot this night. I wasn't even halfway drunk Which made it more embarrassing and I will Here's a barrel of wine. No, he points to the he points to a shot and he goes that's you right there I go, oh cool, and I take the shot and it was so warm I just weld it up in my cheeks and then and swallowed it really slow and just that gag I just puke right back on the bar Moe you can start really to his back and I went to the bathroom and I was like, well, it's probably the last time I'm going to work with this guy. What's

going to end up when I came out when I came out of one second, take that band data. Give it. You left telling me I didn't laugh at all. I left at him. They were talking to him. They didn't tell you rap. No, she didn't. She left. Don't you fuck let's act down on the shot. I'm laughed. No, they didn't. Kelly, did you laugh? Wrap, no, she didn't. Did you laugh? I'm laughing at him. I don't know the joke. Don't you fucking let's act down on this. Shut up.

I want to hear his story. Well, it's almost like I went in the bathroom and felt fucking embarrassed. And when I came out of tell, I think was so out of it at the time, he didn't even notice it happened. But the bartender was just mopping him so looking at me like, oh my god, sass. That sucks.

And then a fat girl and her boyfriend offered to fuck me together, which was weird Hey, I said no Is it not that weird? I'm gonna get some couples a lot listen to me. I'm a he gets on you're in the woods in Connecticut I'm fucking you know what any reservation. You're right. Really? That's weird. That's fucking that's exact. That's par for course Exactly I had two fat chicks Fucking blow me at the moon. He gets on a lot. Oh

Great and I caught the flu from one of them. That's when I had men you drove me home I've never had the flu and you had to smoke and you had the window open I'm literally shivering in the back seat this cock suckers fucking smoking with the wind It was in the middle of the winter. I'm fucking, I have 104 fever. I'm shivering. He's got the window up and so we can smoke. With cigarette smoke going in the back, I'm gonna die. Dude, that was the gig.

Was that the one where you overpaid me? Because of the, the shit, we might talk about it the last time I did it. Yeah, we talked about it. I overpaid you, but oh, give us a fuck. No, I knew you over, it was a funny thing because they all bust your balls. We're gonna put 100 pay me the lights on,

so you're like, you're like here. Now go tell everybody about this. You piece of shit. I gave him, I didn't low ball. I just don't have enough money to pay him. I want to do it. So I said dude, you want to do it for this much? He was like, okay, hey, and I was like, fuck it.

Let's go. I could have been more excited. Yeah, but then we came back. Everyone bullied me in the going like, they just asked me how much he paid me and I answered. And that was my big mistake I answered buff. We how much did he pay you to? Dictorana box 300 three gigs. It was three gigs hundred bucks a gig

He paid for all gas tolls and food every was a fucking I would kill for that gig right now Yeah, oh you couldn't do it because you didn't have a fucking Saturn dickhead And I I drove up but it was a. It was like we were up by Canada and then down in Maryland. And then, but the best part was, whatever it was, whatever it was that made everybody turn on Bobby. And it was just by me answering quite, I had no beef with this at all. My mind, I'm like, sweet, I'm doing road gigs.

I, it doesn't make my first road gig. Yeah, like no cash. Nothing. I literally had no cash either. But I gave, I, there's like, dude, I'll give you some of this money. So you can have some cash. And you were visiting in from LA, you were still in're still in LA. Yeah, so I literally took this

Yeah, the good is my I took it with me to give him a little cash and so I can have a little cash But not be fuck a recent Keith man, they did they did a trot, but they they had a rape trial But they brought it up in such a way they just asked me question. I'm just answering go. What do you pay? I was like, I always good, but here's a 300 300 and he goes they go oh 300 a gig. That's not bad I go no, no, it was 300 for the whole thing They go 300 for they lost and by the way, I had no they call me they call me an LA they were doing at the seller a rape trial I was I had a lawyer Keith was my lawyer Keith was my lawyer Patrice was his lawyer and they had a rape trial and this and I had to go to court

I had to go to comedy court for the raping of big J. And then they drew on the table on the chalk where they drew a newspaper headline with me just been over a Bobby fingering line. So anyways, I want to go back to the beginning of this whole conversation. We got a little sidetrack but it is fucking weird that you have somebody, you have people attacking you. Yeah. Daniel somebody you have people attacking you. Yeah Daniel Tosh had people attacking me. I had this girl this weekend In Vegas look, you know, I have that young black comic that should not be named

Yeah, you had that was a stupid Twitter or though. That was that was an award Well, it was dumb for you to attack him the guy. I'm attacking. What'd you do? I told me it wasn't a real comics It was a pinion didn matter. I'm not saying he will not get his name set on this fucking podcast. I'll say his name right now. It's my fucking fucking name. What are you gonna do? I don't give a fuck off. I'll fight you.

I'll fight you. I don't give a shit. I'll fight you. You're gonna say that. Someone call me fat tonight. I'll fight everybody in this room. Man. No.

Listen, shut up. First of all, don't back to Fatal. I don't know who it is. Listen, here's the deal. First of all, don't back to Fatal. I wouldn't know who it is. Listen, here's the deal. He's a fan of the show. He listened to the show all the time. He's a good guy.

He had an opinion one day. There was a little, Gina was a little fucking crazy. And so was he. He's always fucking racist. And someone called him on it and said it wasn't that funny. It was kind of whatever. Is that what it said? I don't know, kind of.

It sort of told me that. And then, it's pretty weak as well. You know, you you don't fucking a comic comes out and says to another comic. First of all, he's a fucking open micro comic. No offense, girls. He's an open micro comic. Any fucking uh, she's sputting up. She's gonna add the game. Any fucking comes out and attacks me and just says he just, he's right on Twitter. It's just, it just wasn't funny. And it's like who the fuck do you think you are? He's like, no, we'll be back because he was like listen, I'd love to have a beer with you and just like talk to you He's not listening, he's gonna be on a free-off festival I don't listen, I don't want to fuck, I don't give a fuck, alright? I don't give a shit about him

It's it's useless what I'm talking about is some serious fucked up shit All right, some comic, sending some bullshit on Twitter is not a big deal blow it off But I haven't this I mean he just said he didn't get it. This fucking girl that happened to me, I had these people kicked out. This Playboy Playmate kicked out from 2010. I don't fucking know her name. 2010 kicked out of my show because her boyfriend was fucking talking. The MC told him to shut the fuck.

They told them the guy who got him the tickets, Court Macau, who runs the show, they're his friends. She's friends with him when he ran the Playboy Club. He said to them, shut the fuck up at the beginning of the show, which is never a good sign. At the beginning of the show,

shut the fuck up. Don't talk. Don't fuck up. Because he sat him up front. I was a guarantee if you're doing that. Okay? Anyways, the MC tells him to shut the fuck up three times. Court goes up, tells him to shut the fuck up four times.

When he's getting off stage, he says, right to the table, shut the fuck up. I'm not kidding. That's when you should have kicked him out. First of all, that's why you're there. The MC's there to find out who's the idiots. And then the middle guy's there to fucking get him the fuck out so that by the time I get then the middle guy's there to fucking get him the fuck out.

So that by the time I get up, the room is ready to fucking have fun and all the bullshit's done and everybody's fucking focused to watch an hour of comedy. Are they shit talking or are they talking about themselves? Talking about themselves? That's the worst. Saying thing after every joke on their phones. Blah blah blah.

So I go up, I told them you should have kicked them out. You should have kicked them out already. So I go up, I ignore them. I don't say shit. I should have kicked them out already. So I go up, I ignore them, I don't say shit. I go to this side of the stage, I don't even look at them. I just let them do their shit, because I'm not gonna deal with it. And then at one point I looked over the guys on his phone, I go, you're on your phone really?

On your phone? Talking on his phone. He was on his phone. He was on his phone. He was on his phone. He was kissing on his phone. What are you talking about? I was having a phone.

No, he was on his phone, but in the front row, like literally checking his shit, I go get the fuck out, get him out, just get him out. So he, you know, they got out. They just, you know, they got up and, I was like, Jesus Christ. So I said something to the effect of, they will leave and I go, just go.

And I go, they didn't even wait for the girls. They just, the guys got up and left. Oh, that's nice. Right? And I go, you too, you're leaving too. You're not gonna get stuck. Go with them. And they're like, you're not even gonna wait for you.

You're not even gonna wait for them? I was a good choice, ladies. You're made a good, that's good. These are really nice guys. Good decision. And I said, then they were leaving. I said something like, I said something. Oh, those fucking cunts.

And I go, I'm not talking about the girls. I'm talking about the guys. Because it was a joke, because you have to break that monotony as a comic. At that moment, when people get kicked out, you have to say something that breaks the monotony. I said those cons, not the girls, the guys. Everybody kind of chuckle. I go, the girls are just bitches.

And then that's it. I moved on. This girl came on and said, and I have to set record it. Because I record all my sets in the road. She came on Twitter on Sunday night, and I have the set recorded. Okay, because I record all my sets in the road. She came on Twitter on Sunday night, I think it was Monday night, and she accused me of calling her a fat, stupid whore. Okay?

And she goes, I'm gonna sue you. What? Right? I know it's funny, but it's really not, because think about what this is. This girl's lying. She made up a fucking lie, accused me of it to all her 20,000 people. And you know what they did? They believed there. No questions, no proof, no fucking nothing. They just started attacking

me. Well, the proof is she's a stupid fat whore. That's the proof for them right there. That's Lewis J. Gomez. But literally the petition that the people put against my Michael Vick jokes. Hang on, let me just finish this. Before you get into this, I want to get into that right. I want to go right into this after that. So I said to her on Twitter, you're lying. You're lying just to get people to believe you. I never called you a fat whore. I never came out of my mouth. Then she called me an unfunny, stupid fat comic, which is exactly what she's saying I did, which I didn't do, she's doing to me.

So it's okay for you to do it to me for real, but not, I didn't do it to you. So then she said, so her fans were, you know, hitting on your eye, you're lying. I had court Macau get on and say you're lying. The guy who actually gave her the tickets She said the worst money I've ever spent she didn't she didn't pay for the ticket she got free tickets from court He got on said she was lying. She never addressed him saying that never addressed it nothing

And then I was just like like I hope you know I hope my followers don't attack you like your followers are attacked We're friends of his huh? Yes, she was yes, wow, yeah, I called him I'm like he called the she wouldn't answer the phone. I try you know, it's like look at honey I don't give a fuck about you really. I don't care that you got kicked out I'm not even mad the next day. I was like who cares? But you fucked up you got told to shut the fuck up by everybody But you fucked up you got told to shut the fuck up by everybody Everybody and I just kicked you out. I didn't say fuck you. You fat and fucking. But I just say get out

That's it. I didn't fucking do anything to you get out You know we could fucking sue a comic for saying something like that What my instant reaction would have been like no, I didn't say that This is a comic and fucking British Columbia that is is actually went to the Supreme Court cannot do comedy in British Columbia and got sued $20,000. The club got sued 10 and he got sued 10 because he called some lady some shit at a club. That's gross. Yeah, that's Canada. That's pretty so bad. But wait, the girl from the accused Daniel Tasha shit. That is a girl who wasn't even there heard the story from a friend who would happen to. She went on her blog and just did hear, say,

of what happened, okay? And then accused him of all this shit. And here's my thing though, is that these people that were following her just believed. Believe it. Now, and now you have your thing. Well, let me just say, to say I sympathize also with a court situation, is I one time a buddy

of mine kind of more of an acquaintance. Give a lot of stories. I'm really want to get to this super quick. All right. The idea of that's why he's going to show up. But that's what that's that mood. But that's but that's why I asked if if they were friends of courts because I brought a guy I know a guy who owns a strip club here in New York City and he came I got him tickets.

I was opening for Brian Regan a carolides and he brought to really big J opening for Brian Regan when I was here and big J's did fucking dick up asshole stories I couldn't curse at all but they sat right in the front they put them in the front of my guest the extippers didn't get it and they were talking the whole time which I was gonna complain to them I was gonna yell at them for that already. Before I could do it, when I went out in the lobby to meet them after the show to bitch about that, they were being walked out by the staff because to make it even worse, Brian Regan actually had to

acknowledge that they were talking and I was hoping he wouldn't know they were like guests of mine. At the end of the show, an old lady saying, next to them goes, thank you so much for ruining the whole show for me. And the girl turned around and punched this old lady square in the face. And they were holding a ticket saying, guest of Big Jail. That's how it went. That was awesome. So I feel his thing.

You can't sit your friends up in the front. That was my choice there. You can't sit. I mean, it's, it's, go ahead. Tell you what happened to you. Well, I went on a foul and I did, which by the way, you said that the thing was watching it with the cell and closed caption saying, light, light laughter. The first thing that came up on my...

Yeah, light laughter. That's great. It was great. That was really fun. These closed caption guys are fucking ass. They're really hand-dressed. They're really hand-dressed. Really hand-dressed.

Yeah, there's a picture of a hand waving side to side. So I did the set and I did a... And again, it took so long for me to get the set approved because of the wording of my Michael Vick joke, which essentially I say, as long as I disclaimer that he did dog fighting, it's terrible thing, he shouldn't have done it, it's awful. Yeah, blah, blah, blah. But he's basically what he is saying. Because you should know that already.

You should know that already. You should know that, that's the disclaimer for the joke. You should know that Puerto Ricans. So I say that, and then I go, but I don't care, because he's on my team, because he's on my team, I don't give a shit. But as long as he wins from my team, I don't care. So every time Michael Vicks scores a touchdown, I'll throw him a dog, let him tear it apart, like a werewolf in the end zone.

And Bay, then the blood to stay fast and young. And if he wins a Super Bowl, I'll mail him a box of puppies in a photograph of me shushing now that's the that's the joke capsized now for baton the joke no I'm not like putting any intonation in it wait a minute what's that word spell intonation i and t o and a t i o and yes it is are you sure yeah positive i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don't like i don? Yeah, I don't I don't like the reference you the Puerto Rican in the room Hey, hey We're just open like mother fuck the male arm racist

I'm not about that. I'm not happy about that But I did the joke and Was funny was that they made me when it all came to pass what they wanted the joke to be was leave out the bathe and blood and make it Yeah, and make it and make it every time you score such an althroma scooby-doo stuffed animal which sucks which sucks tear to part of the werewolf in the end zone but the box of puppies thing was approved from day one that was always okay with the network so when it came time to air I auto pile to the thing I didn't say bathe and blood but I go I'll

throw my dog on tear to part of the werewolf gets a big laugh box of puppies big laugh it's all fine I feel I apologize right away to the producer after the go. Sorry. I said I owe he goes not played great in the room It's fine under under's breath said you'll never work in this time again No, they were a must have you yeah, why that hurt me too look it's a little sensitive tonight with the fact Call back to all the fat fuck stories tonight Jesus all the fat fuck stories tonight Jesus. All right. I don't think I'm losing the rules. I'm losing the rules.

I'm losing the rules. Titan that thing up. You Titan that bent and it up. Put a reunion neck. That's right. I'm ready to mount. Put a reunion, Gageo's cock. Oh.

Wrap it up. Oh, geez. You just get some glue and stick it on. So it went out. It was great. I was happy with it. I was way happier that I got the line at the way I wanted, even with the slight alteration. And then like so, the next day when it came out, I got hate mail. it was great. I was happy with I was way happier that I got the line at the way I wanted even with the Slight alteration and then like so when the next day when it came out I got hate me that was fine. It was

Hostel as usual super hostile. I played it off like as I just played along I was really you know you selling it. It's complete and I even point out my argument I go I think until air is how like Vowel you guys are like with you're still like like harsh at me and I just told a joke trying to make you laugh like and you hate You're called me fat. You're tacking whatever But uh one thing Patrice told me and that's why I said I almost I'm surprised you said how I anger you get at the thing As soon as you let words hurt you like you you're very vulnerable to lose an argument I give none like I

Because literally the girl goes at one point I took I ended up taking a picture of my dog wearing my Michael victor's the I own a dog and I was like some people forgive I put I stand to that girl. Um then he snapped the dog and she goes flipbook. She goes I hope that she was I hope they use your kids as bait to lower the dogs in to get the fights. Oh that's a lot of pictures. I'm not yeah. I got to take a picture. You never met Jay's daughter. Then I took a picture with That's a weird one. I'm not. Yeah, I got it. You never met Jay's daughter. Then I took a picture with my daughter.

I told my daughter to grab the dog and a butter knife and come downstairs. We posed a picture where it looks like the dog's holding a butter knife to my daughter's neck and she's making a face. I was like, you're hate males work. The dogs turned on my. That's the reason. And Justin's so, when everyone's telling me to go, why don't you tell them everyone that you do my dog charity every year and perform my dog charity. I go, I don't have to defend myself But here's the thing wait wait's that I'm not it's not the words that hurt me.

It's the psychology behind it. What it hurts me what it hurts me that I read her tweets the next day. And she like, of course, my fans went, kind of went after her a little bit. I would, you know, I didn't, I would never tell them to do that, but they did it. Whatever. I'll tell them to do it. It's free. It's do it more colors to the federal. It's a. So it's the psychology that you lied. You came up with you lied and you told people that I was this monster when I wasn't.

Okay. And then you did the same thing back to me. Okay. And then the next day I read one of her tweets, where she was like, someone said, you just pray for me and she was like, I will. You're right. Where it's like, now you're religious Where it's like now you're religious. Like, it's like you're a victim.

You made yourself a victim when I was the victim. I was just trying to make people laugh, do my job. You ruined that for me and everybody there. You got kicked out. There was consequences, which maybe you're not used to. Okay, consequences. You're used to VIP and being, you know, the light shined on you,

but you got kicked out by a bunch of fat, it's kept calling me fat. It's like, why is that bad? Why is fat bad to you? Fat's bad? So now all fat people are just piece of shit, but you wanna pray for, you love God. It's just so many psychologies that go into it

that conflict each other. And that's crazy to me, that scares me when people lie and other people just believe it and blindly follow them and attack somebody else. Like they're attacked. They're like, who, they're fucking fans of a playboy check. Some fucking. It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. The fact that they're fucking fans of a playboy check. Some fucking, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. The fact that they're attacking you blindly, if not even trying to understand the joke, they're just, then they're trying to get you, they're trying to hurt you, your career, they even want to your daughter fucking dead. Sure.

That's fucking the psychology behind that, is what's nuts to me. And look man, you said a response to what they're trying to do. You have no, they're trying to get something. They're trying to get you hurt. No, they're trying to hurt you the way you hurt them is what they're trying to do. And they'll do that financially or physically

or by saying hurting you emotionally. That's what they're trying to do. They're trying to take the pain that you caused them and give it right back to you. Tenfold. Yeah. They should know. They should know. They should know.

They should know. They should know. They should know. They should know. They should know. They should know. They should know. They should know. They should know.

They should know. They should know. They should know. They should know. They should know. They should know. They should know. They should know. They should know.

They should know. They should know. They should know. They should know. They shouldily. I thought it should be against you. I thought it was a joke. No, I thought it's a joke. I thought I'd signed it myself straight. But this lay it in a particular way. But what's funny is in the petition, it says,

now they have the video clip available on the petition. It's right there to watch. And she says, big jail person went on Jimmy found and proceeded to say, if Michael Vick wins the Superbowl, he will hold a dog fight at his house with a bunch of puppy and invite Michael Vick as a guest of honor. I go, I didn't say even any of those were, like, you completely have made that up. And how many people watched the video to say what you actually did say before they saw the picture?

See, I'm going to see, I'm, I'm nowhere where anyone can hurt me with stuff like that. You're in a more position to be hurt by stuff like that. But I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not bitching because I'm nowhere. I don't have to answer to what are you saying. Listen to me. You do, but you know what? Listen, you do, okay?

Because I did stuff back in the day, okay? That you answer for now? Yeah, I don't do, I don't do fucking Leno because it's something that Kringtchum will put up back in the day at last comic standing. literally say we liked you Rob why'd you do that? And I was like I didn't do shit first of all someone else did it and they might have misquoted me and it hurt you feelings So yeah, dude, it does affect you in some way, but you know how right? Well, it's see they

I'm glad that your problems are so real to me right now guys I can't get up. I take it a fucking weekend in New York City and we'll see you guys bitch about fucking people every level Twitter hit male go fuck yourself. My mom is a beat me my dad was murdered when I was four and now they're How many women a give a shit about that? Fucking whiny fucking bitches That plays into your thing is that was that like a week after the Daniel Tosh incident? That was a good day after. Yeah, so I think that person was actually looking for attention

for themselves because all of a sudden it became this thing on the bandwagon looking to the tank shut up. Let it fucking, there's headphones on for a fucking reason. So you can hear the person talking and she's not done. All right, so the person that had posted about Daniel Tosh got so much press, got so much attention. And so then this other person that's attention star is looking for someone to say anything mildly controversial. To get attention for themselves. But to make it up is a thing, and on a smaller level, but it's like where it could become a bigger level for someone.

Like I said, the point of me saying I'm not really in a position for it to fuck me right this way, is that I run the karaoke for the seller at fat black on Monday night. I do. He's just crushed your career is failing. I take it back. I don't want to say it, but I'm telling you this for one reason only. I think it's like they pay me good money and I just sit there and chill out basically. It's an effortless job.

However, that being said, a girl came up with time, she was being really shitty. And I said, I don't take the job, it's not like my bread and butter. It's like, I do, it's fun. And I smoke hot and hang out. Third of his money, for the week, yeah. I smoke hot and hang out, yes, there's a lot of bread and butter.

So, I love my favorite food. Loves a bread and butter. So, I love that I mentioned my favorite food. Loves a friend. So I was like, I love that we can just whip up fat jokes at any time. Fat joke factor. But how people will do that on a smart to fuck someone's world now. Yeah. I did a job, but a girl was being really shitty one day and she kept just bitching and I was telling him, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, just do the thing. I'm being nice to her. And she's like just being shittier and so you were there for this actually. She's being shittier and so you're gonna go, I go, well you just go fill out the fucking paper and like get out of my like, what are you bugging me with this for? I go,

right. And that is what I said. And I'll be offensively. She came back and she was, oh, maybe I'll go talk to the manager and I'm like, it's not my, they're not gonna come fire me. Like it's not kind of a gig. I'm more. Yeah, you're gonna get kicked out. So she goes and tells the manager, magic comes over and he starts laughing with me, but like but when he starts Let me go do that can't believe you do that's crazy man. I go what he goes he goes she said you called her like a Cunt in a bitch and tore that's the same thing if I needed that job if I was a job like that like you just fucked me Yeah, and now I'm getting maybe gonna get fired for it because you're lying That's you know who you know who does that mostly rich white hunts women

Bucking women and I'm pointing right at you bitches Bobby, I'm like I'm when I was hearing that story I was about to say I'm like fucking what is with women? It's all these stories like Eddie Griffin But everything it's all bitchy white women act like cunts. What is wrong with chicks now? What can I fucking take it? and act like cunts, what is wrong with chicks now? What can I fucking take it? Well, it's not the, it's not the,

it's not the, it's not the, it's not the, it's not the, it's not the, it's not the, it's not the, it's not the,

it's not the, it's not the, it's not the, it's not the, it's not the, it's not the, it's not the, it's not the,

it's not the, it's not the, it's not the, it's not the, it's not the, it's not the, it's not the, it's not the, It's actually bring some backstage and talk to him like, okay, what was the point of that? What are you trying to? Well, here's a thing though, is that it's, okay, a guy heckler, it's usually something, fuck you, fuck you, and you can get him,

and then he'll shut the fuck up, or they'll kick him the fuck out, no leave. But a woman, the scary part about this woman thing is that they can't physically hurt you, but they will lie and they will fucking make shit up. But I end you. The guy wants a problem with you right then in there. Yeah. A woman tries to fucking end you. But they lie and they'll you know to to to actually like I remember I did I had when I did my special my half

hour special I got a scathing email from somebody who had a sister and a brother who were over obese And I had some fat jokes and she you're not fat and you don't even know who I was and I I was she really you know you're the worst kind of person and she Made up all this shit about my act that wasn't even there that she saw and she made it like it was truth I had to go through her email Took me a week to actually write the letter back and explain to her

and then she apologized and I was like, fuck you. You know what I mean? But if these people don't know, like this girl, if she heard the tape, she would, her, here's a perfect example. With the Super Fedor. Yeah. You put him in Louis.

Come on, come on. Keep going. Here's a great example. Yes, my. Yeah. Here's a here's a perfect example. When Carlos from in C. It was be called a hack. Okay. And you know, stealing jokes. Morgan Murphy went and got his like 10 minutes of his set his real set. And you know Morgan Murphy's really dull and just you know just you know you know she's monitor. She went up and did his jokes and said made a video that Carlos Smith's his stole my ass. But she did jokes again some Spanish. She's doing his okay. That's really funny. And then he they would show him doing the joke.

So a cup back and forth between Morgan Murphy for you guys. Oh no, is a seven foot fucking red head. Okay, with big jobs, right? And then, but still, this is how fucked it up. His fans still rep commented on the video. I don't give a shit, he does them better anyways. What? Do you understand how they don't it doesn't matter?

They're gonna defend who they love. That's it. You guys I figure let's say speak. I just you know The problem with performing in like The metropolis is like what it'd be like New York or LA or something that is like you really do realize it When you're playing to the masses especially on a like a television scale, like you unfortunately, if you want no waves at all, like you have to play to the unenlightened and like the flat out stupid. I mean, you really have to play to them. Because- Miparketsi?

But you know what I mean, you do, you have to play to the stupid, you have to realize that other people need, people need a disclaimer on your fucking rape joke or your dog, or whatever to fuck it is because they really can't, this claimer really should be your next comedian coming this stage. What, I'm not speaking to the fucking senate, I'm not talking, you know, I'm not. You're at a comedy club, an adult comedy club, an adult fucking comedy club. Okay, this isn't in the afternoon, it's at night, it's a 21-and-up club.

You have to be able to drink to get it the fuck in there for most cases. And you say whatever the fuck you want, what's up, Kel? I just wanna say, did you see anything about it with Eddie Griffin when he put the water on the chick, right? She's now trying to sue him for stress. Because apparently since that happened, she's had a high anxiety. She hasn't been able to sleep.

She's done a paper of medical bills. What the fuck? And the thing with Josh and the thing with Josh, the thing with Josh that makes me so angry because no one does a research anymore. So with that woman right in the blog, and then having a post who does no fucking research, whatsoever, and it's a repost, repost, like he's-

I don't believe that by the way, I like to have a kid. Okay. I have a book coming out, and I'm hoping to post it with that more. No one actually spoke to anyone that was in that room that night with Donald Trosh, I have a book coming out. You know what? I'm gonna post it to the bad horror season. No one actually spoke to anyone that was in that room that night with Donald Trosh. And to we had, like, when Bobby's friends came in last week and he was in the room.

He's like, oh, guys, I was in the room. This is exactly what happened with the Donald Trosh thing. And it's nothing like it's been reported anywhere else. The meantime though, Tadu Trosh, I don't even particularly like his comedy, but we'll defend his right to say what everyone wants because he's got a TV show. Sure, that's gonna help him. I mean, he's got a TV show with sponsors. He's sleeping at night now.

Kelly for Stugas, because he's been going, right? I look at Taneu Ruy. He's accepted me as an equal. I'm a Tosh. I love you. I don't like you comedy. I will defend you. Taneu Ruy is an American American even though I'm not supposed to be

Sponsors involved now when you're in TV you I would Sponsors now, so if he doesn't apologize the sponsors go hey listen You know that money you earn if you're not apologized wait a minute. I want to stop on second. How do they do that again? They go you know what? Listen Lost a fucking lesbian friend over the Danes, I didn't realize was a joke sit down. We need you now Dude I didn't realize it was a big thing dude and my lesbian friend posted it on her wall like the blog I thought it was just like some blog some like no name blog or whatever So I fucking basically wrote her back. I was like I was like basically I was like you went

So I fucking wrote her it was the only person that has this belt President has this belt. Why is this face so shiny? Guy man never friends. Sweating. Is loses face crazy shiny? What is he saying? He's wearing cream. Guy man and Lesbians can't be friends anyone.

It's true. Why? So I do not part in, I told her in a joke battle. Then you shouldn't be in the empire. Then you shouldn't be in the empire. Then you shouldn't be in the empire. Then you shouldn't be in the empire. That you shouldn't be in the empire.

Who's the likings? Lesbos. Big furry boxes. Lesbos is funny for the same rainbow flag. Lesbos, first boxes For the same rainbow flag First of all settle down settle down. You fucking rage phase. What is it? What's up? I lost it never mind it's over come on dude not dude you lost a story now I'm taking my ball going home Look at man people with the dry interrupts sometimes so whatever the side fucking told them I was like you can't you no matter what Any who is quick, Lewis, quick, Lewis, quick, Lewis, quick. It took his ball a win, harm.

I think the last person to throw the microwave was Joe. The rose at one time, he just threw the mic out of his face. I think Joe at least did it as well when he called him a head said he had a premature bird face. Look from an app, like from an app, so I just perspective. And gay. And gay. Thank you. Look from an out like from an out spot of sodas perspective and gay and gay Outside as a gay man as a gay man is Joe Derosa dress gay because I've never seen a straight man dressed like Ikebod Creme before Like pants and a pointy show I don't even know who that is Joe's feet look like drawings

Joe Joe dresses like he think it fixes clocks And you shouldn't Joe Joe dresses like he thinks it fixes clocks There's an antique shop he's a loop everything he gives him through Put these glasses white out. He's nice I can see it. Yeah, it is books everywhere and ladder Wish you get Joe and eyeglasses chain first fucking birthday Even a new one you should fucking it Joe I know Joe never told that story on this show that story needs to be fucking told about Joe getting Punched and the girl that he was with hang on hang on that is his story to tell

Yeah, he's never gonna tell it Joe wouldn't Joe's not funny. Here's the deal When when when when he I do this in my ass Joe's gonna Joe's gonna come on when he comes on bring that you'll be here You bring it up because that does need to be told gonna come on when he goes on bring that you'll be here you bring it up because that does need to be told that's the story uh... what was saying is if you go into the state don't you just have to accept that that's

part of the possible that people are going to slag you well most comedy clubs have insurance which i i found out uh... even court macaque has insurance you got a insurance because and as comics to you should have insurance because the more people that you play in front of now like you know they could fucking come after you and and sue're gonna have to get a lawyer that's gonna cost you money Okay, and now they could just it could go nowhere, but you still lost money paying a fucking lawyer to defend yourself

Yeah, but that's more money and if you don't win you fucked look at man But what's your level of what what level of responsibility comes to being a comic? Yeah, I'm like Charles Barclay, but I just love what you just said. I want to do that's the name of the podcast. What is that? I love responsibility. But remember Charles Barclay said like I'm not here to be your kids like idle. I'm not here to be your hero for your kids. But the thing is you kind of do when you sign in the sports, it's a family event thing.

Right. We do kind of sound that when you sign on the perform, look, when you sign in the sports, it's a family event thing. We do kind of sound that. When you sign on the perform, look, when I sign on the do Jimmy Kim War, if you do networks and my guy, you know you signed on the do, you have to change your shit a little bit. Right, you're gonna have to be a little prostituted. Exactly, yeah.

But you know, when you go into a comedy club late at night and try to run some shit like Daniel Tasha's doing, yeah, what is your fucking responsibility to the audience to watch what you say? You don't like it, you don't like it. What's your responsibility to it? If you don't have the story with that, there is a responsibility to it now. They're making you have to have a responsibility to it. You what you see you don't like it. You don't like it. What's your responsibility to it now? They're making you have to have a response you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't fuck now You don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't But NBC he has a job at fucking one of the most on a network

He had a job on a network show and when he just had was pretty fucking crazy sure I mean like he was gonna if he's my turn to be guy he's We all kind of do we all my dad's done me so many times is ridiculous. I would be sick. Oh, give it to her. Here. Give it to her. Take it. Take it. Take it. Reply your shoulders. Wrap it around Gageo's cock. For wearing those shorts. Hold on. I got that because I made that exact fucking joke. You dickhead, but what? Reparunk Gageoescock. Yeah, but I'm funny. I have more personality, more charisma, and I have better time. Just like Carlos Mancey, I'm more nervous

if you just have to. Bobby delivery was amazing. But you know the thing, Big J, we just went to Tosh. Do you know that he actually didn't have the rape joke? There was no rape joke. He's joke was, you know what? There's not really a lot of words out there that you can be offended by.

Like you can't really say, you know, blank offends me. And the girl went, no, that's not really a lot of words out there that you can be offended by like you can't really say You know blank offends me and the girl went no, that's not true. No, I just say blank That's what he said. Kelly. You do your American accent. Oh, good. That's what he said He said blank like he was saying blank on purpose like She said rape and then he said Would it be funny if five guys came here right now? It was a question. I don't give a shit.

Yeah, but I don't give a shit if he's fucked up. I don't give a shit if he said it exactly how she wore it. Like, what the fucking difference does it make? I like it. Get out of the way! What's up, dumb chwolly? So, it's not like you just... First of all, Molly, first time on the show, you're doing very well.

Yeah. Yeah. Molly's doing good. Molly's doing good. Molly's doing good. Molly's doing good. Shoot on. You can drink it and get a note on. Once you got rid of that band-down, it's never come back your way. Um, so the thing is, it's not like as an audience member, like it's not, it's not like they were just sitting at a table. I think you're like, Molly only opens their

mouth all the way for half the word she says I know I'm Great You also have a fucking chick with a baby coming no flirting what I thought you just spr you just sprung, girls. I said you flit. Yeah, the only person you can flirt with is fucking Joe. Subtract. Doesn't even work out. Oh, wait. And Joe met my lady by the way.

Very, very smart. All right. So anyway, it's not like these people were just sitting on a table and you walked up to them and started doing your act. They came there to see. And there's rules. I love the great idea.

Also, too, if you are that offended, you should have done research on who you're going to go see. Well, they weren't offended by me. They were talking on me. They were just talking. Which why would they be going to a comedy show if you didn't want to be there? They got a hell-tay-wai.

Can I tell you why? They got VIP'd. That's why. That's why I think free tickets, when you give away free tickets, when comedy clubs give away free tickets and put them in the front row, okay, free tickets should be, there should be a section, okay,

all paid tickets should be front rowed. Somebody who bought paid $20 or $35 to see me at a fucking comedy club should get front row seats, okay? And then the free tickets should go thereafter. No front row should ever front row seats. Okay, and then the free tickets should go there after. No front row should ever be a comp. Never fuck you, the club owner, I don't give a fuck if it's the mayor. They should be putting them back because if you didn't pay for something, you don't respect it.

I just said that. I already got the man, dad of Bobby, all right, Lightning up. I just, I mean, you just said that. I know. I would fuck. She said, I've already got the bandana, Bobby. All right, lighten up. I just, I mean, you just repeat away. What I said, what up? What would be, would it be like, overkill if you put your hands down, Joe? That's not how big my cock is.

You know, I found it be really hilarious, but now I will disclaim this by saying, I've always thought, get off your phone, you fucking cock sucker. I've always thought, get off it. Gronda. I've always thought, I've always defended, I've always thought get off your phone you fucking cock sucker i've always thought of it i've always thought i've always defended i've always defended against haters like daincook that i think dain's very funny and i say that only because uh...

he fucking um... what do i smoke so much weed and lost my fucking stupid train of thought oh the lady says in the article jay is dumb jay is dumb jay is dumb no daincook the lady says has the article that she goes, unless you think I'm easily offended. I sat through a dang cook set with no problem.

I go, I don't think Dan's really a fucking attacking. I think it's like, dang cook. Yeah, exactly. It's not really singing. I was like, dang cook goes like, and here's what I went to a patent. Here's what's gone. Yeah. Here's what vomiting's like.

And then a, you know, a portion should be illegal. Well, that's funny. Well, yeah, dude, it, here's what vomiting's like. And then a, you know, a portion should be illegal. Well, that's funny. Well, yeah, dude, here's the thing is that, that lady on one night could come see me and be like, I thought it was great, and I'm fucking pretty racy, but just the way I presented

or the mood she was in, now she saw you that night, and you hit a key thing that bothers her. And look, man, I get it. Abuse of animals bothers people. Sure. Got it. But you're a comic. It's your job to find the funny and tragedy.

That's why it's tragedy and comedy. It's not just fucking jokes, okay? I think I've the absurd. I said that last week and I got the bend down for it. The tragedy and comedy. But it's a bit better. Yeah. You know what? You know what? Delivery. This one should be called by and says it better. I got the bend down for it because it's better

This one should be called by says it better I like when you go into like a low tone you really start selling jack Nicholson Dude you want me on that wall? I know you know that the great part about this podcast is it will turn on you The fucking it will turn on you, you know unrelated to the the petition thing just I got I got an email From someone who sent me pictures after that of like the aftermath of dogfight I wrote back there. I literally go I go Are you sending me these to prove to me that dog fighting is terrible? It's like I know I just jerked off to these twice

I don't understand why do I have to explain that I get dog fighting the terrible thing I'm making a joe You're idiotic to believe that I like I'm real quick real quick Eric Rivera is on the phone No, no, can we give Joe the bandana because he's bombing it taking pictures his cap is on these about to try to take a picture Can we give Joe the bandana cuz he's bombing it taking pictures his cap is on he's about to try to take a picture Shit given the bandana were these Hello Hello All right, God keep talking sorry Everybody

What that woman said to you about your daughter is worse than you. Yeah, she doesn't get that. She doesn't get that at all. That that that that furiates me. What the fuck? Hello, Eric. Hey, Bob, you're going on. Um, we're doing a podcast. You said you were going to be here and you're not fucking here. I know, I just part of the like the way. Yeah, we'll get the fuck up here as fuck.

That's too late. What? It's not too late. It is too late. Get up here. We need to make we need to make fun of a twink Yeah, just hit the buzzer for all right and be quiet coming up When you get here put that band down on your head and sweep this place up in Mexican By the way, big J hit buzzer five. I don't know who he was reading But he ran all over. Four. That's funny. Ben, get off a joke, please.

Yeah, there you go. Bomb me a taking pictures. Wrap that around you. Uncircumcised Australian meal. Oh, no, he's circumcised. Sickness. I forgot about that, Johor. Yeah, sick.

Sick. Sick. Yeah, I mean, look, it's getting scary. And I'll say it's one's it's it's getting scary Yeah, and I'll say it's a I'll say it's one more time. It's it's it's it's Bobby it's getting scary. Oh, you hate one of my least favorite things in a comedy club But it's always comes always Cool, that wasn't cool No, it's

I Always open micers head's gonna pop off It's always I generally find it's pretty a shit comic who does the move where someone no one laughs They pointed the comedy club song like people huh? Come on now But like But that's you That should be that should be unspoken here's a deal to be unspoken, okay, but here like I'll look on the crown

See some broad on our phone. So it's usually y'all it's it's always women. I'm sorry. It's women. It's women on the phone Where the guys they were annoying because they're not having a good time. Okay, okay What but it's mostly women especially with guys like me where I'm not the shredded guy I'm not the cute Daniel Tarsha the daincook or the J go miss j go miss look seriously, you know You know where you kind of get a little, I get it, and I won't say nothing to him. Now, I understand that the audience has evolved with the fucking technology that we have.

People have phones on them and are addicted to their phones. I get that somebody's going to look at their phone at some point and check their fucking calls or whatever. Look, I did it in Batman okay I look I went oh shit I can't believe I just looked at my phone at a movie that I really want to see and it was just a fucking instinctual move I get it so I don't really yell at them if they're on the phone and they're in the front row and they're bothering other people That's when it bugs me if you fuck with the other comics and the people around you With your bullshit then it bugs me. If you fuck with the other comics and the people around you with your bull

shit, then it bugs me. Other than that, fuck it. I'll just go up there and do my job. Because I'm not a bouncer. Here's the problem too. And I told this to court. I said, you waited. You should have kicked them out when the host was there. That's what he's there for. Then you should have kicked them out when you were on. Because That's what he's there for. Then you should have kicked them out when you were on because that's what you're there for. I shouldn't have to kick people out from stage. I'm not a bouncer. I don't know kung fu. Okay, I'm not a fucking bitch. I tell jokes now because I had to do it. I'm the asshole. So now I have to watch my back walking around the casino that these two young drunk dudes don't fucking suck a punch me

Oh, these girls don't fucking bottle of it. Well, these girls attacked me and then I'm in jail You know, I mean there's a lot now or this shit happened on Twitter with this girl made up lies about me and tried to get people Against me by lying and they don't know that she's a fucking liar They just know her as nice Becky that brings over fucking cheese plates and did a fucking spread in 2010. You know what I mean? Whatever her fucking name is. I'm not gonna say her name. That's super poor Becky.

I hate that bitch, babe. I don't know her name, that's not her name, but you know what I'm saying? They don't know that she's lying. And they don't care, okay? That's the fucking big puppy, Kelly. But you know, I'm just gonna attack her for weeks. But you know, our performers' rights

are like fucking worth nothing, because what you call just had the thing, past you know, uh, our performers' rights are like fucking worth nothing, because you know, what's in my call? I just had the thing, uh, Pascatelli, or someone threw some in her and like the cops wouldn't press any charges. You know, she wanted to. But wait, but let me say what's saying. Where was she though? I don't know. Exactly. Jackson, Jackson, listen to me. Listen to me. People have alligators in there, fucking backyards of Jackson. I got you. You're not gonna, but you know, but someone throws wine at you. You're lucky. It could have been a bullet or a live ferret They're throwing throwing no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no That's what happens that guy eats it he gets killed right the guy the lead singer from a there's a metal band called lamb a guy Yeah, dude is over in Czech Republic right now. Yeah came back to yeah, he's in jail

He posted bail is what he's scared but this guy a guy was bum rushing the stage Yeah, and he had no one the security didn't stop him getting on stage So in his thing he pushed the guy off the stage guy hit his head. He fucking died. Yeah, he left now He went back to go do a show two years later. They got him right at the airport and fucking man slaughtered him. He stuck in fucking Prague in prison. Right, that's not a bad prison though. The Prague, if you saw Triple X,

a lot of disco, if you got a pick of prison. Pretty bad ass. But I'm just saying, we're vulnerable, and yet, and yet, we're under the microscope of how we defend ourselves. And if you try to do it verbally, you're still gonna eat the same shit because some girls gonna go you called me a fat Con it's like they're gonna lie look at vicious. It's scary out there, man

We're the most we are the most vulnerable in that room every time we're up there Yeah, yeah, we and here it is if it like I said before if you don't like comedy don't go It's not a fun. It's not a dance club. It's not a coffee shop. It's not a daddy's movie if it's on a bar No, it's not a fucking bar. It's live entertainment You know, and if you're gonna go and you're not into it sit don't sit up front Sitting the fucking back where you can get up at some point and go use your phone I'll go talk or get the fuck out. I did battle with Lewis though, and I'm curious to hear your opinion on this though.

This is what we're gonna, yeah, but. Lewis argued on our thing that, that heckling is not a part of comedy. Should not be a part of comedy. This all comes from the lesbians, because the lesbians are the lost friends. The lesbians say that and I agree. And she was like,

he's a part of the comedy, no. Hang on one second. I'm gonna stop you right there. We're gonna come back after break with this topic. We're gonna switch gears a little bit with this topic and a new, a new little Spanish guy has entered the fucking fray. We go from fucking Rusty old,

Rivera, Rivera, Rivera, Rivera, Rivera, Rivera. Riva! We'll be back. Why don't you put your headphones back on. Can you hear me? Can I stand? We, um, no, sit down stupid. Dude, don't bounce.

Is somebody on to you? I hear him. Not really. Having a port of recon here is like having a two-year-old. You're going to fucking keep checking on it to make sure you're not breaking shit. Fucking mariachi. Whoa, that's Mexican.

Ba da da da da da da da da. That's the new one next to you. I'm only half, though. Marriachi. Whoa, it's Mexican. Ba da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Welcome everybody, Eric Rivera. If you guys, I know you're going, who? If you guys ever watch, what's that commercial you're on? General. The general. Oh, yeah, that's right. He's doing stand up. I was upsetting. What?

How many of you? Yes, that. How much hate mail did you give of that? All comics. I actually had a bunch of people, I had some comics email me, talking about like, have you had anybody come to see those jokes to when you do a live show what i have people come to me at shows and like oh my god thank god you're funny

because i saw those commercials and that's great did the captain ever show up in the front row drunk bang and i'll get to the jail sorry oh i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm closer come to the general and save some time and the best of price online go to the general and save some time. And the best of price online, go to the general and save some time. Eric Rivera. Arriba. Yeah, so anyways, I don't know if you guys know this, but Rye Cast has some new sponsors.

So if you play video games, you play video games, right? Indeed. All the fucking time. Eric, you play video games? I do, Xbox 360. And I know you do. Molly, you. I don't. You don't. You said that. Molly, I didn't ask you a bit. All the fucking time Eric you play video games do Xbox 360 and I know you do Molly you You don't you said that Molly I didn't ask you a spit. I didn't like you I didn't ask you if you liked anal

Anyways, Joe's hacking into the fucking comedy seller mainframe right now stealing all their fucking money and hummus What are you doing over there? Well, how can you squat down on your tippy toes like that launching missiles of Pakistan? Joe is actually how are you sitting on the back of your deal? Joe's dick and balls are balancing Hang on scratch that I know Crack your He's delicate. He's pretty cool. He's a hush puppies on He's delicate. He's pretty good.

He's a hush puppy's on. Anyways, we're sponsored by GameFly.com. If you play video games, the Netflix of video games, you want to help the show. If you want to, if you're a fan of the show, you want to support us. You can support us by using GameFly. Go to GameFly.com slash YKWD. Sign up for a two week trial. You get two games for two weeks

Free it's awesome. We cancel anytime if you want 15 days. It's better than you said. It's actually 15 days 15 days is putting the promo code ykwd. Well, you have to put in a promo. I thought it was a lot. It's just a pretty fucking badass concept. It's same as netflix too, right? Like you don't have to give it back until you're done No, you don't have to give it back if you're done You you this is the best part about it. If you play games, you can test them out, fuck with them, and you're done with it, and then give it back and just get a new game, get an old game, and then just keep doing it just like Netflix, which is awesome.

And they have games online, you can download too, some old games, some really cool games. So go to GameFlight.com, slash YKWD, Join up and you're gonna be helping the show, helping yourself out because Gameflight.com is awesome and another sponsor of the show. Yeah, Kelly good, you keep opening your mouth. What good? No, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, You should have had it.

All right, Jesus. Oh, what are you doing? Why is your mouth opening? I'm like, I'm watching you talk. Like I'm like, you should have. So your mouth opens within all, that means I'm watching you talk. I'm like, you're not. So your mouth opens? She's in awe. That means she's in awe.

Why are you excited? I didn't have anything to say. I was like, yeah. But your mouth open. You went, if I recre- Why did it, you go, like your mouth opens and you were gonna say something. Who's breathing?

Oh, Jesus Christ. Why did you even stop you on a roll? Was I thought you were gonna help me with the end? Oh, okay, Amazon. Yeah. I hate you. I fucking, the end of my life. I I thought you were gonna help me with the end? Oh, okay, Amazon. Yeah. I hate you. I fucking, I love a bullet to go. Oh my God, that's so cool.

Stop the arrow, girl. Just go to redcast.com and click on Amazon. I was Joe had fucking more than herpes and gave it to you. And he was healed from it. What? What do you have? I have three. Oh, you did?

We're gone to Rio. That's such an Australian disease. Where did you really have gone to Rio. That's such an Australian disease. Where did you really have gone to Rio? Yeah. Yeah, they got it in Australia because they haven't cured it because there's still a bunch of fucking prisoners. Having your roof fucking motherfuckin'

Yeah, I'll take it. Give me the bandana. I really, I really throw a comic joke at two fucking Aussies. That's original. Listen to me. If you buy stuff at all, anything you want, headphones, CDs, books, clothes. Purniture, I mean everything.

Everything. You can just go to Amazon and the best part about Amazon is usually get the lowest price. You can get used, new. And here's the way to do it. You want to help them to the show, you want to support the show. You're a fan of the show. Bye Joe. Bye Joe.

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We want to thank yeah I was a fitness and I want to thank really to these guys in Las Vegas, hook me up man. What a really cool place to go. If you like boxing or MMA or you like, I get this insane. Any of the clothing lines. Trauma. Any of them. I get this insane. Any of the clothing lines, trauma, any of them. I got this great Tyson shirt. If you're in Vegas, go to the Miracle Mile Mall

and hit this place up. It's called Las Vegas Fight Shop. You can follow them on Twitter at LV Fight Shop, at LV Fight Shop. These guys hooked me up. I got a sick ass fucking hoodie. I got a great Tyson shirt. I'm gonna order a Bruce Lee shirt.

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Boy, they could order online probably too, no? I don't know if they have a website, but go to it, check it out. We'll follow him on Twitter, really good guys. There we go, so we're back in the show. And we're back. Hey, and we're back. Oh yeah, Bobby.

Kelly, take the, take the, take the, I don't know what that was. I don't know what it was. I don't know what it was But it was so fucking bad. It was interesting Shadow Steven's on us. Hey, we're spinning the greatest it. Yeah, welcome back We got it is a funny thing. We got Eric Rivera here who is a New York City comic He came up here He was one of my openers for a little bit and

That's it. And then X is dropping by. We gotta go see a little buddy. Lewis, what are you gonna plug? We did your left, so Wow. You know what?

I like it. I like it. I like it. I know you see like me looking for approval. I'm think of you. Somebody love you flinch like the band-in. It was gonna fly. All right. Do you want something to drink? First of all, you want to walk in the fridge? Grab it in the fridge for everybody. Erick or better. He's going fucking way California. No not so i'd sit down kelly's gonna grab a big head of the demand water so here's a deal we will and we were talking about that i know we were talking about all kinds

of crazy shit before we we we left what we we brought up something uh... jenna our argument about whether or not heckling is a part of uh... comedy let me just make this point for you fucking started uh... fucking attacking this sentiment i get that is it is, it happens in comedy. The same way getting hit by a fucking bus happens in life. Getting hit by a bus is not a part of life. You know what I'm saying?

A part of life is growing up and fucking having kids and getting mad. That's part of life. That's how the bus driver, after he hits somebody. So it's a part of life and having that. Yeah, dude. Tomorrow's another day you're not gonna hit somebody with a bus. She happened. You're off, you're off tomorrow. It's not gonna hit somebody with a knife. She happened.

You're off. You're off tomorrow. It's not gonna happen again. Jays fucking, Jays fucking quick response into a character, just a perfect character, just solitude. It's not gonna happen again. It's fucking mesmerizing. That's my whole point. It's not a part of it.

I don't hear my whole thing. I don't fucking, I get angry at hecklers. Like at them, the one, the second they fucking call some shit out, the second they, even if they fucking like me too much and they start fucking a, which never angry. Like, no, like if they start like it, first of all, don't, if there's some fucking guy in the front, don't do our jokes to you. All right. I took it away from me. I don't ever, ever take away a fun You didn't take away the power you made your comment more awkward

And that over that I don't even know I accept it It's like Harry carry I fully accepted I accept my destiny fucking ball it up and put it in your mouth I was meant you know what? I didn't get a fucking double lunatic before you fucking took it right away. You know what it was, your eagerness. No, don't put your mouth down. I'll write pilot on J now. Yeah, finish. So, no dude, if somebody's fucking like even a way to into it,

if they're drunk and they keep on like repeating your last punch line, that shit fucking annoys me. So I don't even really, I don't try to get hecklers. I'll tell me shut the fuck up. Usually if you're doing well, that's enough just to get the audience to be like, yeah, shut the fuck up and laugh at that. Or if you're talking on, here's a deal. Here's a deal to that. Like, okay, we talk to the crowd. I talk to the crowd. I'll go up and go, what's up? And I incorporate my jokes into the people that are there for that night. You engage them.

I know some people don't do that. Like Eric, you're a guy. You go up, have the funniest thing ever. J, get off your phone. Get off you fucking phone. That's it. You know what? The band-man, is she going to anybody check in their phone?

No, no. The fucking hatred through my eyes should go through that somebody. Anyway, is that like a jager stoned? Did he just, hmm. Yeah, he's right. He's right. I should know one did he just Right here's a deal When I was a bit of spade here easy I

Took Eric to was racist for you to say easy on that why what you meant you fucking hateful I brought Eric I know this this what sucks about Eric. He always does good. He doesn't do fucking great I know this this what sucks about Eric. He always does good. He doesn't do fucking great No, but sometimes you kill it, but he never bombed. He always pretty much did good I bring him on the wrong people liked Eric people just loved Rivera and it bugged me after a while that he just Consistently fucking right there throwing in strikes, right? Danced so anyway exactly fucking right there throwing in strikes, right? Danced. So anyway, exactly.

But so one night I bring him up and he goes up at this fucking hellhole, Marco Island. There's nobody there. Captain Hooker. Captain Brian. Captain Brian, Marco Island, right? Which I love the club. I love the mother and father on it and Brian.

They're very nice to me. I've always had a good time there, really. It's a fucking, I have a, Patrice threatened my life, because I told him it was a good place to go. And he called me from there, he goes, I'm working a fish time there. Really, it's a fucking... But Trees threatened my life, because I told him it was a good place to go, and he called me from there, he goes, I'm working a fish restaurant motherfucker. I watched Mexicans boil and had it

while I was telling my joke bitch, because the kitchen is open. He goes, I'm gonna kill you, Bobby. But anyways, he was there with me. He goes up to host. There's no MC, it's just ever going up right at the beginning He goes up and fucking does crowd work and eats his fucking deck First of all, there were eight people that they didn't want anything to do with me. Yeah, but don't blame it on you

Exactly Bobby's crowd. Yeah, Bobby drew more people There's a deal. Don't I hate that too. I don't know the MCs of the house who always, I hate when they do that. You hear to see Robert. No, they're here to laugh from out the fucker. Be fucking funny and they'll laugh. That's point blank. That's how comedy works. Doesn't matter how famous you are.

I went up 18,000 people in front of Dane Cook. Nobody knew who I was. I was funny laughter. Boom, that's it. You fucking just take the it's stupid. I'm gonna take the hit, but I'm just saying, you're making it sound like it was a peck room and I took a hot one.

It was people, people of Craig and Craig. But my point, my set it up at the beginning is that you always do good, even in shitholes, even in these situations, you always do good. That was the 10 minutes, that was the 10 minutes set up I gave you. Remember, were you listening? Yeah.

Anyways, you know what, I'm glad you don't live here. I'm glad you moved away. You look more Mexican now, by the way. I got darker. You did, you got darker and, you go rounder. You're a little hands of shorter. I bet you smell like a kitchen. You used that on me.

Listen, yeah, he went up and fucking bombed. He went into the crowd. Hey, they weren't having any of it. I remember when he walked off, he was still smiling that middle smile, you know what I mean? And he got, he's sweat coming down. He goes, that was rough. He went, the city's turned the corner,

the smile just dropped. He went into the, I went up fucking kill. It was like, not one problem. I was the best statement I had to tell a headliner when you're opening for me. They did not like me. You know what? Couldn't catch a rhythm with them. I used those lines a lot. You know my rhythm. I couldn't get a rhythm with these people.

Did I ever want to have over a big jet? The first time I was ever at the stress I went up for a big J-D. The last time. No, I mean, the couple times. So fucking, uh, he's such a literal dickhead. Yeah. I'm literal fucking. Let's go with a checklist. What do you think we're NPR? So this, Lewis, what happened?

I was in my mind, I was a side-com. You did like NPR? I was fine. I was like, I did. I thought I was gonna keep moving on. I thought you were there. Joey isn't the fucking person who gets it aside. Nobody left.

That's what the sign. I'm like, that's what the sign. I have fucking, I'll take it. But these dummies don't even know what MPR is It's a Mexican in Australia. I'm not gonna get on that So dude I fucking go up and the only show that Vinnie was watching the only fucking show that he was watching dude I went up there and I just awkwardly sweated through like no laughter like it was bad dude really bad So but here's the funny part Vinnie paid me like I guess that part's coming 150 150 bucks

Dude he gave me the check I lost the check But I did so bad that I couldn't ask him for the check again You know the best part is Louis H. Shit and then after him 45-year-old road veteran fucking opening for me who was like 29 Just to What Joe Joe bubble it's dude? was like 29 just to destroy what Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe Bubblewitz. Joe Bubblewitz, dude.

For real? He's a road guy. He's a road guy who's opening for me, which always makes me uncomfortable when there's a guy, 20 years older than me opening for me. Yeah, that's never good. Because you know, he's got 20 minutes of just awesome shit. And that's it.

And then he's going to fucking CD him in his basement. He's got a rack of shirts in his back seat of his car. Because he's going to rip it up somewhere else tomorrow night. Oh, this kind. This ain't Joe Granddaddy's comedy Joe Bubbles. There was a bumper stickers. What was the name of the old magician? People don't even use bumpers stickers anymore.

Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip's doing it. Chip? I have to jump up, boy. Oh, great. Now the show is fine. Lewis is just a shit. Here's the thing though. I want to go back to this. Going back to the heckling, I think you're right. People don't understand that when you go to a theater, I went to the show with my wife last week.

It was disgusting. It was the worst fucking musical I've ever been to. What's wrong? It was called The Corbin. It's a friend's friend. Oh, it's a friend. It's a friend of hers. I promised her I wouldn't look it It was fucking it was a stupid fat whore show of Well, I actually I sat through the whole thing I didn't

say horrible like tough dude. It was so bad, okay, and but you know what? I didn't bring my phone out. I didn't talk. I didn't even say. Insirable, like tough. Dude, it was so bad, okay? And, but you know what, I didn't bring my phone out, I didn't talk, I didn't fuck, I just sat there and took it. I fucking took it. And you know what, you know why? I'd be respectful with the fuck they're doing. This sucked, I didn't stand up and go boo, I'd get on my phone or start talking to my wife. Two people got up and left, I respect that.

I stayed because I made my wife stay, it's like fuck you. She was like, let's go, I go,. I stayed because I made my wife stay. It's like, fuck you. She was like, let's go. I go, I go, I go, fucking no. We're not going. We're watching every lousy bit of this to teach you a fucking lesson. Did you guys ever talk to her friend after this show

and just give him like the fake A? First one out the door, literally. Thank you. One person bowed, I was out front. But it's also a different like the, and look, and I'm not defending hecklers at all because I fucking hate him And I think they should be fucking killed whatever I'm just saying fucking

killed yeah killed To go anywhere on this business. I mean there's so much shit on you. It's not happening. Let's get real so Not with that attitude dude. It's fucking it's a you can do it. It's a different like in comedy It's it's our job to make it look like it's conversational off the top of our head. And every other thing is very obviously, there's a wall between, like an invisible wall between the performers and the fucking oldies. No, no, it's not. Yeah, I agree with that. There's a thing, it's absolutely not.

You're told, when you get the fucking there, no phones, don't talk, don't do anything. Just like a theater, you're told, there's rules, but people break them all the fucking time because they set up a bar like mentality and they give away so many free fucking things that these people can come here whenever the fuck they want for nothing drinks and beers and treat us like fucking the blind guy in roadhouse behind some chicken wire. Well, the reality is that a comedy club though, the comedy club is the bar. That was a statement.

That was in a joke. I went serious at the end. I was. Put the comedy club. The comedy will look the rally. What's the call? I kept the reason why I kept eye contact with Jay. Yeah.

I want to look the rubber judges score. I wanted to look around. I'm not in the bandana when you're on a soapbox, okay? No bandana when you're preaching. That's different. My thing is with that is like when you're on a soapbox, okay? Yeah, no bandana when you're- When you're preaching, that's different, go ahead. The most important thing is with that is like, when you, my, the rule I go by is like, if you heckle, if you have the guts to open your mouth and heckle and stop a show,

then you have to take whatever comes back to you. That should be the, for me, that should be the rule. How's that? How's it, okay, here's the fucking rule. You heckle, you yell out during a show, you get kicked out. You get dragged up by your fucking neck by a giant black belt. So that's what happens.

Just take them out. You don't deserve to be there. You don't wanna be there. If you're told to shut the fuck up by the headliner, you need to go. Now, you've been doing comedy longer than I have. So my question is, there was never a point, because I'm very much, when I that happening. Yeah, or does happen

I do have something in me that wants to shot at it. I want to shot a trying to tame that Look dude, I've done it. I've done it dude. Of course I've been there Here's a deal. I have something to say I have an hour to say it in and I want to get it right I want to perfect this hour I want to be able to do it on TV and then move on. I want to become better. And I want you to fucking, I want you to come with me. I want you to fucking come with me from here to here.

And at the end go, fuck man, that was really fun. I understood that was a fucking great time. I had a fun time. And most of the people there with me on that. Now, there people that aren't or three people the four people that aren't now All those people have to fucking it's like somebody next to me I was at the dark night the girl next to me and a friend with talking. Yes, they will black I'm kidding they will white. They will white. No, absolutely not they were White they fuck black

But anyways talking next to me the whole time not fucking out loud crazy whispering had to say something every It's like you the movie was ruined for me. You didn't tell me shut up. Um, no No, because I was a packtouse I was with my wife and I don't start trouble one of my wife's scene because I know I would never ever put my wife in danger I'd rather take the hit I'd rather take the hit and like I remember I told you I got into a fight at Caroline's party one year I took my wife home went back and I was I fucking was gonna do this so dark. You're just a whisper Well, it looks people were talking, but here's the thing you can't shut the fuck up for this movie really Every fucking you got a comment that everything,

in a fucking, now you're in a room, you're at a comedy show, and the people next to you are talking the whole time. Now they're not heckling, they're not whispering, whatever. You're looking at these people that want to enjoy the show, and they keep looking over at these other people going, fuck, fuck, and they don't want to say anything because they don't want to get into a fight.

They don't want to have to fucking be afraid walking into the car. They don't want to get fucking shot or scratch That's why I say something for all the people that are afraid to fucking say something But it's not our responsibility fucking time. It's the club's responsibility I'm not talking about my stage. I'm talking about my sake from the audience if the club has should go up to those people and go Shhh, you talk again, you fucking gone So you saying Bobby that now, we have to go to the clubs now. The clubs have to stick out for us more,

because I kind of mentioned maybe on stage and going, you know what guys, get them out. Kelly, you perform at bars. Yeah, but the system is set up. So again, they cater to the idiots. They really do because, I don't know what theater you want to see Batman, but now the last couple movies I've seen in the theater, there's the new promo now for the not

talking and everything says, don't talk, don't check your phone, don't text anything, it actually makes it, it pleads with you almost, it goes like, it's not the rest of your life, it's only two hours. Here's a deal. You're almost playing people, it's like, okay, or maybe our try words, it's okay. Here's a deal.

You're not saying don't or you'll be kicked out. But here's a deal, please, here's a deal. You're not saying don't or you'll be kicked out. But here's a deal, please, here's a deal. Who the fuck comes in during the show and walks around? Black people. No, I mean, who comes in and checks that? Nobody. They should have people, managers, bouncers,

walking through with flashlights going, if you talk again, we're getting you out. The cops are gonna take you the fuck out. But some to them some clubs do some clubs do but no theaters do But you know does it fucking place You talking to play you talking a musical you're fucking gone, but there isn't there you know what else though Those tickets are very expensive. Those tickets are hard to come by though You don't fucking you don't fuck around when the tickets are very expensive. Those tickets are hard to come by. Though you don't fucking, you don't fuck around when the tickets are 100 bucks.

Sure, you're supposed to dress up to go. When you're, you are. I guess. There was a whole drunk guy heckling at Avenue Q. I was having a gig here. What happened? Didn't them, in intermission, it's funny. I told them I was like, hey guys, I walked up to them.

I was like, you guys are being really loud. They were just hammered. These old couple. I was like, you guys have been really loud. You're actually kind of like ruling the show. For us, and you got off, the woman got all big and bad. She was like, fuck you. And I was like, buddy, shut your fucking woman up.

Or you're gonna have the fucking problem. Because I'm not gonna hit her, but I will punch this fucking old man as fuck. I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want? And they left. They just left. It was over. I want loose. You have to come defend the little guy. I want. I want I want Lewis around me all the time. I would love to just go get them Lewis. I would love to have you. I might if I haven't become a diamond. Famous. I'm going to just take you on the road

with me to open for me. and just to threaten people's lives Yeah, why not? Walk up to and go up to girls ago you open you fucking cell phone again. I'm gonna break your finger I used to promote The street all the time and people are really shitty to comedy club promoters like really just shitty like literally like You're like hey, you want to go to come to club get a real job get the fuck out of my face yeah you guys are fucking just those guys those people I fucking hate those people I walk up who's on the show Robert Kelly what I'm right here with the Olaf Factory what I remember time squared it me and bitless me

I promoted me and Billy Burr we're in time square and the guy promoted us to to us this guy where you guys even on the show that and then I went, is Dan cook gonna be there? I think he's stopping by. I called Dan and I go, Dan, are you gonna be here? And he was like, no. I was like, yeah, he said he's not, I'm like, that's us. And the guy got mad at us.

Dude, I had way worse because I got to get mad, but I came out of the subway to go to the Lafactory and Times Square when it was there. And the dude came up to me. Gold teeth, by the way. Right, so he's like, that was his name. He goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he teeth by the way, right? So he was a minor You're so from Virginia City My name go eat

Hello, what are you doing here? Big J I reckon you look have the kind of face like I see some comedy you You guys want to try your luck at the comedy view? I can't laugh so much is the case I got out of black long. Give him that fucking thing. Stop all the gas all. You're doing that good, dude. I fucking...

Stop. We could have went on with that. Take a break to shame. Fuck it up. We could have went on with that for fucking 20 minutes. I love that boy. God damn it. We could have done it, Jay.

But you're wounded, God dang it. Go on, that's awful. Game fight, boys. I think're wounded, God dang it. Go away, I'm so fucking old. James, five boys. I think I come out with Gold teeth and he goes, he goes, hey, check out live comedy. I'm going to the club to perform. He goes, you got live comedy, because we got Dean Edwards from Saturday Live

and he's going through all these people. And he was actually using the real names, I go. So there's a joke, I looked down at the laminate and I see my picture and I go, how about this guy right here? He goes, he goes, oh man, now I don't worry about him, man, he got Dean Edwards from... Oh, oh!

I go, I go, but I'm curious about this guy. He goes, man, fuck that guy, he ain't funny, he goes, he's a Dean Edwards, I go, that's me, he goes, oh man, you know, it ain't like that. I'm just, oh man, my bad dude, and he's just like, and you go inside, but again,

I'm like, we can't say the N word, by the way. But first of all, he was right. Sure. Sure. Dean Edwards from Santa's. Very, very fun. What's it gonna be? But again, we can't say the end word by the way, but first of all he was right Dean Edwards Very fun was gonna be the best part to and Dean Edwards wasn't even there. It's funny I want to talk about something real quick. I'm gonna switch gears. I think I just shit my pants I don't know if that was a fart or a poop Protein shake is just terrible protein shake you shit It's just terrible protein shake you shit

Tired anyway, I want to switch gears a little bit Eric Rivera you're here and this is the thing too and you're actually talking about this You were thinking about going to LA yeah, I'm going to and you moved to LA you this is what happened with Eric Let me just I'm gonna backtrack Eric was pumping it killing it here really bustin balls You know getting it out there, gettin' on shows, became a solid Miller, was all over the place, had some, you know, making little shorts and doing well, and then he did the show, a diversity show, and really killed it, and came very close to winning it, or whatever the competition was.

Actually, he did win it, got a trip to LA for the rest of the competition, and then somebody famous out there saw him, production company was like, we wanna do a show. He had a show, he did all this work, wrote a pilot, moved it and they were like, get him moved to LA. He picked up, moved to Beverly and all that went away. And now he went from a good-looking,

little Dominican Mexican dude, really killing it in New York City to just another Mexican Poggi Mexican doing podcasts American and Santa Monica that's your show right there Well, welcome to the table Eric. Get the heavy here. So so here's the deal you're out now, and I've done it too Dude, I did it. I went out there. I booked a pilot. I was walking different I thought I was gonna make it and things fucking went away like Like in this business, they always do. It's it's highs and lows. It's the rollercoaster ride that you don't really get when you're first. You just think it's

going to go up, up, up, up, up, up all the time. And then when you have your first fucking downhill, it's kind of scary and frightening. And now you're out there. You want to, you want to out there and I move back. I said, said fuck it I got to go become a better comic because I'm not getting stage time I wasn't famous enough to be out there yet to be able to do comedy so I had to come back here where I could get up every night at the seller and Boston and become a better comic because I was looking at Patrice and Bern Norton and and all these guys and like holy fuck God-free and burns and all these guys and like holy fuck godfrey and burns and all the these guys are becoming funny and I'm fucked because I get the same shit. I move back. You're out there and you're thinking of moving out there because shit

ain't happening here. Yeah. I disagree. Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of things, but in the, here's the thing as a young comic and the beginning you said it, you know, in the beginning it's up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, because when you're going up, just getting better at comedy is enough. After like you start you start to not really appreciate just getting better at comedy and the you don't get exponentially funnier. I think in the first few years of comedy you start getting exponentially funnier like there's definitely a difference between year three and year one, year five and year three whereas when you're 15 and year 13 it's not really a big

difference anymore. You know what I'm saying? So for me here i started out of the kind of a young i i literally started a new york city which most people didn't start new york most people coming to new york and they have an actor ready or they have at least a semblance of an act right i'm saying and i had it so i didn't have one so i came in as a fucking open micr and i wasn't funny and i was book shows fucking six shows a week everybody was fucking paid the rose was in comedy for like three years full paid weekends dude People weren't telling me I sucked that comedy. That was the problem. No, Jay was the first fucking You're talking comedy. Thank you

That was you need to big Jay dude on the road one time we're getting high broke his soul Dude off fucking kill me inside. We're sitting there smoking weed in the room. I told Kelly I'm not my jerked off on a napkin and put it in your door. No, that was the rose was That's what I introduced you to the rose. Yeah, yeah, so fucking thanks for that We're smoking me and I'm like Jay I'm doing kind of like a year and a half maybe I was like dude I was like you know key cuz you bring me on the road with them. I'm soon. I'm just funny You know, and I do well. I've always done well get to the point would you please for the love of this podcast I he's punching up. Yeah, so I fucking I was like, I was like, hang on one second. Why is that joke and then give it to this fucking punching up jackass?

Go ahead. So I was like, you analyze my jokes. So it's like, I tell me a joke. So I tell my joke because I got bad You fucking dickhead is not for me Jesus Story we really fucking We are back down To back fuck up. Just in a little bit of a story. We really fucking have a chance. What did you say? I said, Jyn didn't even like the story. You have a...

Another joke. He's like, that sucks. You got to just drop that from your act. I went through my entire act. He literally said it. He was like, yeah, just give it to me. I'm all your jokes. He was like, do new jokes.

Hang on, hang on. I said, as your jokes are fucking whatever. You're just like, you have new guys jokes. So like, but you're a funny, I said, you're a funny dude. And that'll come through eventually. But right now you're just like, it's all about, you have to worry about that. Why would you break my heart? I was doing comedy like a year ago.

But you're asking me, you're my friend and you're asking me honestly these jokes are really funny. Friends don't hurt each other. Come on now. That's why we brought you here. It's an intervention. Give me the, give me the,

okay, your friend. Jay, stop hurting us. Babe, Molly,. Give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the,

give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the,

give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give me the, give just don't know what the fuck they're doing, right? Yeah, well, I mean, the thing is that you're when you're looking for a new talent, you know, you're going to these shows that, yeah, it's not people that have been doing it for a long time. Yeah, because this is the one, first of all, she works in a puzzle, which is my management,

and one, I love fucking love a puzzle. I really do. I've never had a management that is this fucking, they're just amazing. I've never had a management that is this fucking did just amazing. Truly. I've never had a management. Well dude, I've had it's almost better because when you do at least maybe it will be one that's good. Mine I've had so much shit. So much garbage. I felt very chumped by a parcel recently. You should be. Very chumped. Well, I don't want. Well, what these because they get it. I'm talking to the microphone first of all. Second of all, they know they're just great. They're for me. They've been great and but they also like all of a show Everybody comes like Molly will all the fucking interns and people they will show the fuck up to support me Even though they don't want. Oh, you know what I mean? Even though they're pro again, right seriously

But they'll show their love they'll come and show they'll hang that, which, you know, you don't get that in fucking management. That's company I've ever worked for. Ever. Seriously, I'm not really. Yeah. That's a me. Here's the thing is, too. What's good for me is good. You know what I mean? Like what's good for you may not be good for me, but why, why do they jump you?

I felt very, I know the roster over there. I know they have a lot of young, new guys. Is that a possible that started that audition? I went in and sat down with, I said I was, it's nothing, I think cone roster over there. I know they have a lot of young new guys. There's a half a puzzle that's sort of that petition. I went in and sat down with, I said I was, it's nothing, I think cone is very nice. I think everyone I've met there is very nice. But I sat down with them, I told them some of the ideas I had. And they know that I came in with a very like, you know, I'm fucking tread and water here.

Like I need something, something big. Right. You know, someone, I need a name, a management that's bigger than my name, right? I keep, which is all the management. Not bad, the my, but I've worked, yes, you're right, I'm saying. Actually, Aaron is a good character for a character.

And first of all, Eric Rivera management is bigger than you're in. No, you're absolutely right. Actually, it's funny, it's very true. Like, I've always gone with like, some dude who be a friend of mine or whoever, who's gonna be like, I'm like, I know he'll pay personal attention to me and I'm like, that's not working.

And he's not. So I went to meet with a boss on, I sat down with him and, you know, Conan Smith basically said, we had a good meeting, I was like, you know, nice enough talk and he goes, he goes, get me a real, you know, make a real, get a real together. He has me if I had a real, I was like, nothing, like, nothing current enough.

He goes, make a real, I'll show it around the the office you can get anybody in the office excited about doing it And then when I left I was like yeah, I was like okay, and I went home. I looked at the roster And I'm like there's people in there who couldn't who have are under the imagine who possibly who don't even possibly have the ability to have a real They have a real let me tell you what I was like well fuck that I mean put the ring you did the wrong thing You did the wrong thing. You know why I'll, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just Bobby Kelly. Yeah. That unturaged reference. There you go. Yeah. Fuck you. And now, leave it on. No, no, no, no, no.

He got it because this fucking dummy. Yeah. That cap. You're the person to watch on. Here's a deal though. Here's this one. This is one of the reasons why I like them. They did not make it easier.

And I went through the same shit, dude. I've been in this business blah, blah, blah, blah. And me and Derocio will kind of go to the same time. What the fuck is, you know, and I was like, was like you know what on hindsight they made me send in writing submissions And then they made me send in more they were like we need more. Yeah, what else do you have and I Identify that your management way before listen and and I just I had to send them all this shit my real all the stuff And then they they fuck all right well get it was kind of weird, but you know what? They made a decision and they meant it.

So, here's the, they want to fucking work hard. They want to work hard. They want. Exactly, they were like, we don't want, we're not just taking anybody on. Now, if you had said, okay, dude, fucking suck it up, fuck your ego, fuck yourself a steam and you're pride,

which is really pride, fuck your pride. Okay, let me just do what they're asking, which is hard to do, because it was hard for me, man Believe me, you know, I was like what the fuck? On the heels of like some other like people being like you know, Gersh being like, I don't know whatever like you're funny guy And I'm like whatever so it may be called me but I'm on those submit. Yes, I think you're right I put the work in gave it to him then they were like, okay cool. But then immediately they said, okay, what do you got?

Let's go. And they, they, they're like, all right, we're thinking of this and I had to go do this. And then can you write this and I had to go write this? Can we do, and it just was work. It's been more work than money. You know what I mean at the beginning. And I think that's a misconception.

I think it's young comics, we come up and go, oh dude, we're gonna live the dream. Eventually we can smoke weed and play video games all day and perform. And I think that's the thing that exists. Nobody does that except for Big Jailers. Here's the thing is that they, one thing that they taught me is that

it's fucking work, work, work, work, work. All the fucking time. It never ends. Since I've been with them with the book and the movie and the FX thing and now with this other thing, it's work, work, work, work, work, work. And that's it and that's all they do. That's all they fucking do.

What do we got going on next? We gotta keep shit going. And I know that you're a spy, and your ego is like, fuck man, can't somebody just go, I like you, but that it doesn't. Can I give you a quote that I found very interesting and I've quote this a lot and I found a very I said I like Conan I thought I think he said a very astute thing. Yeah, that's amazing I thought he said something very astute. I thought was like an interesting thing in the in the in the

Because he said he was what do you bring the table and the first thing I said yeah, I go well I mean I think I'm a I think I'm a pretty good, you know stand up me and he goes he goes I think you're one of the best, but what does that mean to me? Yeah, and I don't have a good answer people don't pay for stand up They pay for fucking I didn't have I didn't have a good answer to that. I was So so I said I said I said I took the blame off them beginning I said it was my ego by said when I left I was kind of like well There's like and nothing be a shit of these new work with this Michael say have a real Shit of these new are like what does Michael say have a real? You have a real

You're look at you're you're not wrong. I'm not saying you're wrong. You're not wrong But when you start doing that shit like Louis C. C. Say said you're not competition with anybody Who the fuck whatever he's got doesn't fucking matter to you? Here's the deal. Here's the deal. Here's the fucking deal. We showed up there with a fucking with a 15 minute movie that they made into a book deal That they made into a fucking they took it and put it in the festival which turned into a book deal Which turned into a FX deal? Okay, I got in the writers union in the first year that I was with them But after a lot of hard work. It's been a year a little over a a year now, with major fucking work. I learned how to

write because of them. Better. I learned how to fucking, all about, but it's work, work, work, work. It never ends. That's the thing. Colin Quinn called me up. I taught, it was with the fuck. He goes, let me ask you a question. He goes, if you go to your fucking management and hand them a script and they don't do anything with it, leave them. He goes, what do you got right now? I was like, all right, then go to work. Just go to work, go write a script, go come up with the next thing, right your next hour, come up with a plan with the way you want to do it,

and how you want to film it, have it some idea and give them something to do. And also, we wrote a script and it did fairly, like it got into Montreal festival and we pitched it for Comedy Central and Fox and a few people. And at the end of the day, they didn't bite on it, but I think it means more to come back to them six months later with another script and go,

I work. That's your job, that's our fucking job. Our job is to wake up and fucking create shit. Whether it be a film, a movie, a YouTube video, stand up, get off your fucking phone, you fucking create shit. Whether it be a film, a movie, a YouTube video, stand up, get off your fucking phone, you fucking cock sucker. Something. You know what I mean? That's our job and it's hard to face that reality. So, you know, and like I said, you're at a point right now, but here's your shot. Here's your thing. Go get that next thing. Me,

Joe and Billy sat around and went fuck it. Nobody's fucking helping us. Nobody's doing shit. Everybody else is getting stuff. Let's take our own money and fucking get it and do this ourselves. Joe's wearing ridiculous pants. I mean, it's got glasses around his shirt. Joe's wearing a medium sweater on a large body. If we could just put Kelly shoulders on Joe DeRose, and we'd have a real human. That we would love that. If we could just put Kelly's shoulders on Joe Dero's and we'd have a real human. Yeah we would.

If we could just get his vest that he did when he got when he was bartending in 18th century for Benanza. But Bobby, to finish the beginning thing is when you're seeing New Talent, it's mainly the future that you see in them. It's something about the way that they interact with the crowd, the contrability on the microphone. So sometimes you know that their jokes need tweaking, they just started, but you see the potential.

Because I feel literally the class that I came in with be it like me and Kurt and so I got in. Like I feel like we had some weird thing, why I feel like when I first got here, it was very much a scenario of like, hey you're a young guy, don't worry about management. You got it right now, you just got young guy. Don't worry about management. Right now you just gotta get good.

Work the clubs, get into the club slowly, but surely work your way in there, get good. Because don't even worry about the letterman's or the little tonight show or coming in. It's a good, and now I feel like that I'm at a point where it's like, if you throw me anything, I think I'm comedically prepared to hit a home run at least if I try hard,

or anything that you need me to do. Be acting in something whatever Right, we're being funny now, but now I feel like it's a guy It's like well, there's this guy who's been doing it three years who you know his hair spikey enough So if you never know to look at that thing we were right on that audition the other day with you that could have been your thing That could have been your thing you never know, but here it is Wasn't for me It was like a lineage where like I did I came up like

There's no there's no linearism. Yeah, I came up like I think like big J and curled These are guys that I looked up to that it when I first started I was like well they're fucking awesome And I felt like all right well me and my buddies were kind of like next in line to just get into all these places And that shit's fucking stopped like people stop moving out of New York people stop the process law There's thousands of fucking comics now and it is killing this fucking art form No, it's not too many comics. So they would think for you the best moves to move to LA where there's 5,000 yeah A thousand actors first of all first of all that's Eric Rivera the other Spanish guy

Yeah, you'll hear it. You'll hear the I'm here I'm here I'm here You're right about that and dude I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm like this dude knows what he's doing. What's that and he's like you know, how's the state? Hang on stop one second on tie that give it to that fucking bomb I've saved I've saved you from fucking absurdity Lewis I was like face it out like what he said shit hasn't happened to me in 20 years. He did me to Eric So like dude for for LA. I'm getting enough state, which is like three, four times a week. I hate it. Yeah, but you know what? And the only reason I got it is at the live factor because I brought in a celebrity.

Can I say something though? Do you know why? You know why it sucks for you? Cause you went out there with hope. I did. I did. No, you did. You had a celebrity max you'd write down, especially when all that's gone. And then I'm like, Hey, I'm here to do comedy. And they're like, Oh shit. Yeah, we got a case of the Fridays and you're like You're seeing in New York, let me tell you it's not so much fucking better. Do there's a lot of bar shows

Let me tell you why Stop, you just didn't just said he has to do case of the of Fridays, okay? You get to do a bar show. That's a comic. You're not you're not a fucking Spanish dude. You're not a Mexican. I'll dare in L.A. You're black. You're a Mexican. You're a girl. Yeah, dude. It's a different scenario. I'm gonna audition here. I was something different. Like I got into all these clubs and oh, we need a diverse comic. Let's take Eric Rivera and diverse here. Out there. You just a Mexican audition.

I'm gonna do it. There's 20 of me. I was like holy shit Dude, I got the same thing when I went out there because I look I look I'm never being on audition My ninth Mexican dude audition. I just have to go to the gardener with my sides and go dude Can you help what is this fucking mean? Because it always throws some Spanish in the script that I have to Kuala su mumble Right In addition, the script that I have to vote for is Kuala Su Mumbri. Right? So I would go in these auditions, and they call my name, Robert Kelly, and they'd all look at me like, who the fuck are you?

See? See? He must be adopted. But you had a good point. You wanted to be in a movie, you guys wrote a movie, and you did it. I mean, that's the thing is hard you can't wait for the opportunities Come to you or like you sign up with management company. You can't just sit back and expect everything to happen

Well look at two eight street everyone needs to work to absolutely done more of that. I have historically done a lot of that I've had I had a fucking I had a fucking 15 minute good flick that some look my my agent had a for six months didn't do shit Didn't do anything with it. These guys had it for a fucking day, and what do we got, and they went to work. And then let's try it here, let's try this, let's try that, and it worked, one thing worked. And then what about this, you guys think about doing this,

and then it worked, and then what about this, and it just kept working, it just kept putting work in front, it was hard, man, it was a lot of hard shit. But it worked. Let me answer what Eric said though, the reason that I'm thinking, if you can do an ask you anything you did let me uh...

when i the reason i'm considering moving to l.a. is because i'm not motivated i'm a i'm motivated here i perform every night i'm fucking i get the podcast i write shit i just wrote another fucking treatment i'm doing some some shit but because of the grind here and because of fucking just i feel like i literally no respect here i would be more motivated out there and when I'm motivated I fucking kill it dude I'm a fucking boy. So just realize you're good. You're it's a different beat like here you don't get spots

You look at it like the Silla line. It's like Bobby J Colin. You're like, oh, I fucking get why don't get spots Then you go to a club in LA some dude with a swear Dude, that's not a little mucking spot. I'm not getting spot. Don't talk about fucking people not saying god damn it the fucking headphones are on for a reason shut the fuck up and let people talk Go ahead some dude is doing like some alty thing or a character and you're like why why is this dude on it makes There's no sense out there. There's no rhyme or reason. He's got an agent. They want some out there and he's fucking with his dog on stage And you're like what what's going on? You should have talked over him. I apologize. I was in a car. You're absolutely right.

I was in a car. You're in stinks. You're right. You're talking over me right now as I try to do a joke about you talking. You fucking stay. And I'm going to turn your headphones up extra loud. And in the relatively equivalent amount of space, there's only three clubs out there. Are there like more, I know, I say I was not sure. But if you drive, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, was not sure But if you drive dude, it's a you in the general amount of space of New York City

Three club Lewis and Lewis you don't let me tell you something brother You think it's hard getting stage time here you ain't fucking getting anywhere near the fucking laugh factory And let somebody big-time muscles you in you ain't getting near the improv dude. I was at the improv Okay, I've been doing this for years these people fucking know me Adam Sandler the whole crew walks in gets on and then fucking Dane and Fucking nine other fuck they all went on and then I got bumped It's just the way the fuck it is and whoever's hot is fucking hot at the time guys who you're gonna be like what the fuck? I think we split we sweat the small stuff too much like look dude

I'm willing to go do those fucking free bar shows and let me tell you something, I will get on fucking the level shows that I'm getting on here. It's gonna be the same fucking shit out there. I may not get up as much, but if I'm motivated and writing, let me try to get on TV and try to fucking,

you'll have a better, let me tell you what you'll have out there. For you, you baby and you chick, you'll have a better lifestyle. You'll be able to live in a better apartment for less money and you'll be able to live in a better apartment for less money and you'll be able to have a car and be a family and actually live a life out in LA. You'll be able to do that. But your comedy career and that, it's tough.

I think we need to focus on it. It's a tough, let me finish my fucking point. It's tough. It's a tough, it's a tough let me finish my fucking point now. It's tough It's a tough. It's a tough racket out there I think it's It Kelly Buster asked here she goes to every day I call her she's at an open mark not getting on Trying to get the fuck on and you know what they allow that Here I don't think they allow it out there. I still think you have to be kind of somebody to get the fuck on these other Shes. Excuse me. Sorry. Yes.

Was that you Bobby? She pants again. I Even though my my fear moving out like when I go to LA I luckily Have at least developed to a point where it's like, I will work, if I go out there for two weeks, I'll work constantly. But I know if I move out there very quickly,

I will fall into the, that's where I think it's gonna happen. I have no qualms about that. You live in Santa Monica. How awesome is it at staying home at night and eating and watching TV? In Santa Monica's kind of forum. You used to call me on Friday night,

it's like, hey, how you doing? I'm doing eight spots, How many spots you doing? I'm like, I'm fucking home. It's 9 p.m. Yeah, but I would give up a couple spots a week to be fucking hot. A week. You're doing like,

you're doing five spots a week. You're doing five spots a week. I only do seven eight at the most. I'm busy. We got doing four. Most weeks I'm doing one, two. Trust me, dude, you're going to be doing one or two spots. Maybe, dude, maybe, you know what?

And I'll fucking try it out. Nates moving out there. Look, at the end of the day, I'm I'm moving out for a little while. And we're going to gonna want a two-spot. Maybe, dude, maybe, you know what, and I'll fucking try it out. Nate's moving out there, I look, at the end of the day, I'm not moving out for a little while now. We're gonna have the baby in New York first. But honestly, dude, if you're not fucking motivated, I would rather be motivated somewhere and work in fucking hard and sweating, like writing a TV show or fucking doing something more

with hammer-fishing and getting the, all the other day fighters that are around there to come on my show. I can't be motivated in New York. Cause I've been motivated here for a long fucking time. And it's a constant one and it wears you down. Sometimes you need a change. Sometimes you need a change, but like they say in the fucking LA.

I mean, and not in LA, in AA. Yeah. I'm tired. I gotta go. We get on the show, but like they say in AA, you know, people places and things don't change. The fucking tragedy you're in. Wherever you go there you are. You can move across the country, but you're still going to be here.

You can try to geographically cure whatever the fuck is wrong with you, but it's probably not going to work. You're probably going to go out there, it's gonna be exciting for a little, it's like a new chick. First couple of kisses and the first couple of blow jobs are wow, but after wow, it's just a piece of pussy. And you're gonna miss your girl. You're gonna miss your girl. You're gonna miss your city.

Yeah, it's gonna be like fuck, but you know what, you got a baby coming, it's a little cheaper to live out there, a little better. You might look at some people, dig LA, some people do it, some people go out there. I'm not gonna move it out there and then within six months, they're in all the places. Look, it happens.

It happens. If it can happen to these people, why can't it happen to me? Because you're a fucking smasher. People don't like you, that's why. No, except us. We're the only people that kind of like you. It sounds like you really like,

can I, I'm doing it, Louis, so I think like, like you got your hat set on it, like it sounds like you just need the change. Like you're done. I'm just saying, no, be careful. Because because you know you go out there and all of a sudden you find out that it's just you know That fuck I'm in the same spot with you work. You can do what the fuck you want to do here Well, you can do what the fuck you want to do here count how many times you're out at a bar Drinking when you could be home writing count how many times when you're fucking around goofing off when you could be doing something for your career

Okay, seriously think about that try to fix the shit here and then think about what the fuck you could be doing Dude, I've been working fucking hard for a long fucking time. I know you're a hot worker look dude I know you're a hotter than Dan fucking soda and he gets everything look dance at fucking look dance one of those guys Not of this world dance dance one of those guys man. They love him. Do look at women love him People love him dance just one of those guys that shit just runs smooth with but look bro You if you don't think this business is gonna is gonna hit Dan. You're out of your mind We're also by the way Dan quit like this like a This credit Dan quit like waiting tables like not long ago. Yeah, but he did that until very very very very Yeah, and he should be waiting tables. You've been coming for seven years. Yeah, but it's come on dude

I put a seven years in I was fucking I was waiting tables anymore, but this is the generation now But he was all these guys But this is the generation now All these guys Probably damn was that here recognizable people recognize him. Oh, but he recognizes Seven years Other comments that's a read that's fucking ridiculous. I love I love you Kelly, but that's fucking What the fuck is recognizable about that Flaps face

Fat head he's not recognizable That's why he would be like, he was a fat head. He is a fucking fat head. He's not recognizable. I'm saying he didn't until he really had to quit because he could fit it in. Listen, that's not it. He didn't fit it in. Listen, he quit the way he quit the way, shut the fuck up. He quit the way you're supposed to quit

is in natural evolution of this. And all of a sudden one day, you're just not working anymore. That's why he quit. That's why I quit. You quit around seven, six, eight years in, you're doing comedy full time and you're making as much money

as you were awaiting tables. If that's not the case, you're not gonna make it in this business. It's also different though. So you should quit the business. I had a wife very young. Yes, but it's also that, my wife. And she helped you out.

I said fuck her. For all, first of all, I'm sorry for yelling at you. Hang on, I'm sorry for yelling at you, Kelly. I love you. That's not as much's the money thing. No, forget her money. One thing I had a benefit of at least. We got a wrap. But starting a filling in the black circuit, the black circuit very immediately in comedy pays you a little bit more. So I did the ability to have the end of that circuit that I was making a couple hundred dollars a week. I had that lost and I had that lost.

I had to go home and boss it. I was going to go to the market and I was going to go to the market So I did the ability to have the end of that circuit that I was making a couple hundred dollars a week. I had that in Boston. I had that Boston and worked the clubs as a headline. And I didn't really require that much. So I moved to New York. I was living at home.

Plus I was a, yeah, so I mean, look, man, it's what you, it's how funny you can be for how long you can be. I could go up for an hour and fucking kill it when I came to New York I was a headliner in Boston before I moved here right your next right and then and then then but you were you were killer You could go up for 30 minutes. I can do well in 25 you could do 25 minutes six months in comedy. It's a different dude It's a fucking it doesn't matter. It's a matter. It doesn't dude It doesn't let me tell you something you got into all the clubs within six months of being a new. You were in the comic strip comedy seller,

fucking stand up, you were in all these places. It's a different fucking. Yeah, I mean, look, I'm a young comic no matter what. I will always be young comic. Better like comic. We're better. We're better than you. No, I'm not saying you.

We're all better than you. I'm talking about Dan Soder and Kelly for stucco. Okay, you're right. It's comedy isn't the kind of thing that has those certain benchmarks. Like if you want to become a lawyer, you go to law school for three years, then you take the bar, then you become a lawyer. It's not those kind of... By the way, that's not how it's not three years.

You're three years? It's three years. You fucking put me in the bomb. My dad's a lawyer, my dad's a lawyer. You already said, give me the bomb. Fuck it. He already has. He said, well, it's not three years.

Three years, that's it to be a lawyer. After you, give me the bomb. Fuck it, man. He already has it. He said, well, it's not three years. Three years, that's it to be a lawyer. After you graduate college. Oh, God, fuck your age. It's double up. So anyway, so that's something where you're like, okay, well, I passed the bar, why are you not getting a lawyer job or whatever.

But comedy is like that. It's not like, okay, well, I've been doing it for six months. I should have the same amount of gigs, headlining things as this guy. It's totally different. It's all dependent on your own experience. Look, this comedy thing is like school, okay? You get what you put into it, and it takes around 20 years to become really good at it, and make a living at it, a really good living at it, where you can support a family in a

house in a mortgage and blah, blah, blah. It's just like any other fucking job really. If you're a meant, if you're a good comic and you work hard, you should be able to make a living at it. You might not be a fucking superstar like Dane or Tosh or Z. Selling out theaters. Yeah, you know, I start with a little cast. A little cast. You know what I mean? Look, you might not, but you'll be able to fucking make a living, a good fucking living, doing what you love, okay? But there is other options. There are other things out there.

There is a way out and it's called work. You'll never know until you try. But I don't know, look, move and tell me, might be your thing. And I'll fucking back you up in it, because I know you're a hustler. Eric, who knows? You know, you went out there with fucking hope and that shit died, that hope died, but you're still a good

comic. You still have the ability to fucking, you know, make something happen. You know, so that's all you got to do is either make a decision. You stay out there, do you get the fuck back here where it all started? And you had that fucking that that with a hope with a hope was ignited. You know what I mean? I don't know. I don't fucking know. I mean, you fucking did comedy three times, Molly. And then you said, fuck it.

Who knows? You might come back. You might come back. You might be more famous than fucking her someday. Definitely. She might be more famous than all of us someday. That's this fucking business. Exactly.

The fastest horse doesn't win the race sometimes. But, you know, we're all in the game. Bobbi, can I ask you a quick question? Six and a half inches. Okay. And maybe you guys, because I know we have to end it, but this is something that's been bothering me lately.

Does the backstabbing bitchiness ever stop? No, no. I had a situation where I was booked for a check spot at Staten New York. That's a book, too. Well, I had the message of my friend Benji, and this is a quick story. And I got there after the show started. I don't need to get there when the show starts. I know where my time is on stage.

And there was someone there that was like, oh yeah, she's not coming. She was coming and I took my spot from me. Who was it? I'm not gonna say who it was. If they did that, they deserve to be fucking called that on it. No, look, she's too young in the business You know fucking thrown away fucking and I got that I'm like no, I'm here And I you know I spoke to Lindsay the door and I showed her the checks from Benjam like no

I'm here like and then the girl was like oh come on really and the girl was a chick I know fucking chick What you do women club comics what she do? She was like no dude I fucking love the lay I love Don't hear the comics listen listen. What did she do? No, she was like oh no She's not here. She's not coming. No, what did you do when you came and you you there? Oh, I backed off You you back back off because You're fault that no, you know why because it was like it was gonna be an issue

It was gonna be a thing. And I want that club to know that I'm a fucking, that I'm good, you know what? I'm good for it, because they'll take care of me. Did they know this girl fucked you? Yeah, they don't even know it. Do they know that? She knows the girl that was there.

There's a club no. No, because I didn't tell them directly. You should have. You should stick up for yourself. That's like the bully that picks on you. You got to fucking punch him. That's the first time. That's it. I think like any like society, if you like. got to fuck a punch. When the first time, that's it.

I think any society, if you would, I'd be the bad guy, you're not gonna be that guy. That's the thing. I'm sure you're thinking for what. With any society gets together, there's always gonna be, yes, like you said, with the back stabbing bitching has ever stopped, like some people it won't, and some people, you're either like that or you're not.

Like I've never been like, you know. I just seem like it was gonna be such a big issue because I was like, while I'm here, I'm doing it. And the girls like, well, you know, I've been waiting here I just seem like it was gonna be such a big issue because I was like while I'm here I'm doing it and the girls like well, you know I've been waiting here for two hours and I don't care I'm gonna take first of all she got a spot you didn't that girl she wins will get she wins Yeah, you fucking lose because you're a fucking coward and you're afraid of what people think of you You're afraid of what the club thinks you let me tell you something

I didn't work any of these clubs except the comedy seller and the Boston comedy club for fucking Six years nobody would work me you understand now. I can work them all if I wanted to they're all cool with me All right, you understand it doesn't matter It doesn't fucking matter you stick up for yourself and you go this girl fucked me. She lied to you Here's my text. I'm supposed to be on. I don't care about her. Yeah, I don't care And I don't care whether you like me or not. It doesn't matter. You have your friends You know who likes you not everybody's gonna fucking like you who gives a fuck fuck You know, it's an individual sport

Your friends are your friends and yeah football players are football players I think that we have though. We're friends of your friends and yeah football players are football players. I think that we have though we're very lucky in New York we have a good comedy community and I think the older you get in the business the more respect you have for each other. You know you'd be a fool to think someone you don't know wouldn't fuck it's impossible they'd fuck you you'd be a fool to think that you'd have to like you you got to know right there's someone who will shove a fist up your ass to fucking, you should've, you should've, you should've stuck off for yourself.

Especially by the way, if she's somebody who's doing checks, it's not like she has some fucking power in this business. If you didn't get it. And I mean, then it's just like, then Lindsay's like, listen, Lindsay's like, listen, she looks after me like, when I turn up and she always tries to put me out, always, and you know, like, not that she owes me, but she's very, she does look after me more

than she does other people You know, I mean, I don't want to be like for Kelly kind of quick to shit the other day like this happened with Kelly Like blah blah, you don't know how That's not gonna happen that you're on Apparently, you know what I'm gonna say that shit That she was getting blotchy talking about this All right, listen we got to wrap this fucking part. We really want to off the chains, motherfucker. We want to off the chains, motherfucker.

It's a two hour and 11 fucking minute podcast. It was supposed to be an hour. It was supposed to be an hour. Yeah, this is a good one. I might have to split this one up. Ooh, a two-parter? I might do a two-part. Is it another 45 minutes?

No. I have to go, I have to flight and fucking three hours. I have to go home. I might do a two part. Is it another 45 minutes? No. I have to go I have to flight and fucking three hours after going on flight. I have a flight. No, I was a fucking word fuck up. I'm going to Seattle tomorrow. I'm going to Seattle to Parla Live which this show will be out after. Parla Live. So it's one of my favorite clubs and I'm glad they have me back. But it was, yeah, so I don't know though. It was like a fallout and they called. So I hope I, I hope.

You stay up all night, Steve, on the flight? How do you work it? Yeah, well I got first class, so it's. I am. I'm a fancy pants. It's someone takes care of his pants. I tell you what, first class, man, I'm gonna look, I fly coach.

I'm not gonna lie, I fly fucking coach. And it's so stressful to fly coach because you got your bag And it's gonna get up. I got to check it. It's a five It's just it's a connecting flight so it's five and I was for the first flight three hours for the next It would have been a nightmare for me tomorrow, so it's like fuck it, you know what I mean? Someone gives you those st. Beld extend is again. You fucking tell them from me. I don't I don't mean them anymore Again, you fucking tell them from me. I don't I don't need them anymore She was trying to bring up a joke

She was she was trying to bring up a fucking fat joke that happened to me But in a and she was trying to do it in a girl way the passive aggressive way Yeah, you were you feel proud of yourself. Yeah, you were Whatever you lost whatever you lost be be proud to be a child. Two weeks ago, I bought my first pair of jeans at the mall since I was a fucking teenager. So I was like, you were feeling it. Where'd you have to buy them? I went to Big and Tall.

Oh man, just a whole nother podcast. Yeah. Will you come back on next week? Night time? Next night, I'm going for them doing tour all next week. Where? I'm going with the heavy metal tour. Man, I'm going for a week. August 5th. So I was like, I'm going for them doing tour all next week. Where? I'm going with the heavy metal tour. A mega fashions.

Wow. When are you back? August 5th. I'm going for a week. We do a fat show. I want to talk about that. Me and you both lose weight at the same time. I want to talk about that.

Can you do another night one at all? This is a great time. Yeah, we'll do a night one. I was 330 pounds in my first year of college. You can come back on to FATZO when my face... Yeah, I was thinking... You tubb a shit. Yeah, we'll bring Eric on this. Oh, that's face. Yeah, I was thinking. You leave me out, you tub of shit. Yeah, we'll bring Eric on that.

Oh, that's really tough. Look at everyone in this room was bad or is currently bad. Yeah. We got the new FAT, the old FAT. Bobby wishes on me because when I used to wear the vest, the little shirt. Yeah, he can't. Can you just shut the podcast off on the next day?

Yeah, I have a little bit. Are you just writing something at doll? Yeah, what do you got? Promoting, go ahead. Well, me and Jay have a bunch of dates. Just fast go. All right, we're going to Rhode Island. Comedy connections. Where can they go to find this? Big J. Big J comedy. Dr. You promote it. Go ahead. Big J comedy.com has all the dates.

We'll be me and Lewis will be in Providence Comedy Connection August 24th 25th. October 11th the 13th Montreal Comedy Works. Yeah. And then we have the mayhem fest comedy or the mayhem crews crews December 7th maim through the 11th. That's great. Okay. Yeah, it's gonna be a lot of fun I'm leaving. I'm being on the mayhem fest this whole motherfucking oh We coming also. I'm I'm gonna be with Mike Vicki on at levity live on August 8th awesome Okay, okay, great. I'll just say what about you, Eric? What do you got? Check out my site, EricRevera.com, your IK, Rivera.com. I'm going to be at the Pachanga Casino at the in August, August 31st, September 1st. What does it call?

The Pachanga Casino? Is your family owning any of that? He's fucking a pocket-lipto face. I think that's the joke of the day. That's great. The Tep face. Changa. All right. I think that's a joke of the day. That's great.

All right. And with Jackie Ma trying to commit suicide and fucking Santa Monica at a club near you. All right. What about you Ma? Twitter, MF Irwin. Yeah, very good. I heard W.M. Yeah, she's a good Twitter. She's intense. Yeah, all the fucking Irwin.

What about you, sweetie babes? I just follow me on Twitter, which is KALY if ASC or kelevisture.com I don't understand a word you just like. You can see me sitting in the back of an open mic, sad. I like that he did the Beatles singing my little What you can do with Australian accent? You're a British promoter?

No, no no no no. I'm not an exo, I'm not an exo, I'm not an exo guy. What you get doing Australian accent? You're a British promoter? Let's do it. Oh, don't want to memorize. I'm not an ex-soater. It's going to be my next accent guy. I'll think we can get back. Check this out. If you guys want to mail something to us for our table, if you want to see it around the studio, 676A,

9th Ave, number 424, New York, New York, 1.036, you can mail us whatever it will be. We'll put it around the studio, New York, New York, 1.0.36. You can mail us whatever, whatever, whatever the fuck. We'll put it around the studio, we'll hang it up, we'll have it around. If you want to send somebody something, whatever you can send it there. Also, make sure you check out our sponsors, Amazon and Gamefly at our site on Riotcast, YKWD. Spread the word, go to iTunes, subscribe, leave a review, and keep telling your friends you guys are awesome thanks for listening this is a long one but you guys fucking wanted them so we're doing them and make sure you check me out I'm gonna be at in each providence at the comedy connection on

the 16th so get your tickets now stop fucking around if you're in Providence if you're gonna go see me or in Connecticut and you want to go see me get your tickets now don't fuck around because they're not my ass about fucking ticket sales. Chicken P, chicken P, comedy connection at Hugi Laugh on the 17th. And of course, my big Wilba theater date is on the 18th. 18th at the Wilba theater. If you're a fan of the show, make sure you tell people, get tickets and bring some friends. It's going to be a good time. So there you go.

And then go to robbercalielive.com for all my dates, CD, and all the other horseshit, get my app on iTunes. And also go to the Facebook page, my KWD podcast, and also my KWD podcast on Twitter. Can you give me the videos and the photos? Kelly Fistuka does a fucking great job. She's the best. She's the fucking best. Kelly's the fucking best. She can just become a better stand-up

Stick up for a fucking self You guys you guys this has been a fucking a very interesting show. What's the name of it again? What are you gonna call it level of responsibility of a comic? Bobby says better Bobby says better. Oh fuck. I really don, I really don't. I really don't. I really don't. You guys agree. I was the power to say that because it's your podcast. Goodbye. I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just talking to you, I'm just ¡JONing Mate! ¡Don't stop! ¡Fiuming Mate! ¡Don't stop!

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