Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Bonnie McFarlane | Gen X Park

Episode Date: July 2, 2023

This week Bobby is joined by comedian, Bonnie McFarlane. They talk about how Gen X grew up during the best time, her new TV show based on her book, and they try to figure out what is wrong with her husband, Rich Vos. This episode is sponsored by GhostBed Listeners can get 40% off all products sitewide! Use promo code YKWD at GhostBed.com/ykwd for 40% Off Sitewide. Limited Time Only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Yo creo que las personas con los ojos de la cabeza son... ...es... ...es... ...es... ...es... ...es... ...es... ...es... ...es... ...es... ...es... It doesn't help them. It doesn't make them look masculine. What does it make a look feminine? Really, I think older men with a lot of hair look very feminine to me. You should have you should be losing some hair

Good. Thank you. You should be at least receding yeah, or maybe a patch in the back like a Tom Papa. It gives you a little gives you a little yeah Perfect example when I say it gives you a little masculinity Colin Quinn. Colin Quinn. people think he's sexy. Yeah. You don't like that. George Clooney, look at this guy. You don't like that?

No. Well, that guy is good. He's got, because he's, he's, he's George Clooney. Look at George Clooney. Oh, I mean, you know, like, I bet he looks, he looks nice there because somebody's done him up.

But I bet you in the morning when you go and look at him, plus he has a, but yeah, what about Brad Pitt look at Brad Pitt Hey, listen, you're allowed to believe whatever you want to believe man. I'm just telling you what I think I'm just proven your theory wrong I think thinning hair is and he's got a little bit of a receding hairline there. Yeah, and he's probably got a space wig There's no way Brad Pitt look at that pitch receding But he had it good like he's got too much hair. He should he should It starts to look feminine because he doesn't have a beard Hip hip here right now that I'm looking at me kind of looks like a hot older woman. Yeah. Yeah

Brad Pitt looks like my aunt. Yeah, Yeah baby, we're starting the podcast right now! We're back, you know what, dude? Live. Welcome everybody to the show. YKW. I started the social media podcast. The fact that YKW did podcasts. YKW did these back again.

Old school, back in the day. We're all starting before them all. YKW did this podcast is so fun and crazy, and there's no rules. Shut up, you all whoinig this! Work the program, I'm sorry. It's a comedy podcast. This is an NPR. That's the podcast done.

Is there any better show? This is the original. Original. What's up everybody, it's Robert Calli, we're back for another episode of You Know What Dude Podcast. Stop acting like you haven't been in showbiz. You don't understand what's going on. Every comic sits in there and they can't stand that I am talking to the camera. They all, it's not on me.

Bring it back on me. It's coming, B. It's coming. No. I got a great guest this week. First of all, I want to say all the Patreon members you're watching this live. You're in the chat. Thanks for being a member of the Patreon. If you're a member of the YouTube, subscribe if you're not. Hit the subscribe button, comment, and like, like, like, like. And also, Robert Kelly live and the YKW Instagram social media, hit it all up. We got a very special guest today. I haven't had it on a while.

I've never had it on by solo, which I'm happy. But I've been getting a phone call, not stop for the last 10 minutes, that I'm gonna have to take. Oh, Bonnie. Please Bonnie McFallon, everybody. Give it up. What's up, Bonnie? How are you? Yes, I don't know what what's he doing? I don't know. I guess he wants to talk to you But why can't he why did he knows you're on right? He loves you. Yeah, hello. Yes

Can you hear me? You're the one with the hair. Yes, we're wearing our 50s. Yes, we can hear you Well, are you doing your podcast already? I mean, yeah, we're on. We're on right here on the air. We're out of the air right now. Long time, Mr. Long time, caller. Yeah, this is tonight. I'm going to tell everybody I got to do Bobby Kelly's podcast. Well, I'm on with your wife right now. Yeah, well, who canceled?

Oh, Richard, I was sticking up for you. Oh, I'm sorry. How funny is she? Did you watch her? We haven't even started yet. You've been calling me, so I was like, I got to get this out of the way. No, no, I thought you were doing your podcast when I called you and I wanted to say how funny she was. We're doing the podcast

We said we were and you said she's not funny. You did the exact opposite that you said you got to do. Yeah I never said she's not funny. What did I say? She's not who canceled who canceled? Oh, I called oh, no, that was for the podcast not her standup Like No, that was for the podcast, not her standup. Oh, like she, her standup. Like, I know she opened for you. I'm sure she killed. She killed. Yes, she killed. She lit.

She just isn't been in rights. Like, who does that? I don't know. I wish you did. I wish you wrote this conversation down. I can't tell that like cock. Girls are like cock. She said they don't.

They're out in their bed right now. You were funny when you called the club when I was on stage. You know, I'm gonna, this is out. Listen, I'm gonna hang out. I gotta, I'll call you later. No, I get it. Listen, I'm going to tag boxes. Why do you need to be a part of this right now? No, I'm bored. I, I don't, I mean, what the fuck, Bonnie? It's, hey, I, you know, people sometimes say I'm too hard on him, but you see, you've talked to him for one minute, you're like, no, you should hit him. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You should keep the old house and the new house. You take the new house, he keeps the old one. Or two houses away from me. Oh, that's how I was. Oh, that's how I was. All right. Are you done?

Can I talk to your wife for an hour? Yeah, I was hoping you, I don't know why you're bothering me. I gotta go, goodbye. I mean, he. It's a lot. A lot. Can we be honest?

Yeah, let's be honest. He's a lot. He's. Like, I know we joke. I know we. But he's a lot. He really is. And I feel like and I feel like

I feel like I've done a I've done a great job with them. This is I know some people look at him They say you could have done better. I don't think so. I think this is the top. This is the most I could do no No, no you had that actor from Canada No, I mean this is the most I could do with with him Yeah, this is as far as you could take him. Yeah. Yeah, to the end. You took him to the end. Right.

Yeah, a couple of years. Here's the thing. He gets mad at me in you. Yeah. Every time us three are together, he gets mad at us. Yeah. But not jokingly. No, seriously.

He's throwing cake in a serious way. Do you remember that? That was kind of scary. That was on camera He couldn't control himself Because he thought we he thinks we gang up on him Yeah, because he thinks that it's just me that has a problem with him Yeah, like he doesn't realize like no, ask a hundred people. You're gonna get a house the closest people to you Yeah, we all have a problem with you ask everybody who loves you, right? We all have a problem with you rich

He's yeah, he's a horrible human being. Yeah, I know, but I mean he's one of the five He's just so I don't know he's very funny. It's like a dog with a fucked up eye and a broken tail You don't want it, but it shows up every day. So I come on in, right? Sometimes at night, I lay off and I think about him and I start crying. It's like, you know, I watch dog rescue videos at night and I have sometimes the same thing about. He's just, he's in the room next to you. Yeah.

Just going back and forth, like one of those dogs in the cage. I just wouldn't want to be in that brain man. That's got this a lot going on in there. Why now you guys I never I'm starting to understand it now. That I've been married for 16 year, almost 16 years. Okay. Where's a lot a lot of the nights I go to bed and she's in Max's bed. Right.

You guys he sleeps in a different room than you. Yes. Yes. Why? I'm starting out to stand a little bit, but he has his own bedroom, but this is what disturbs me about it. He decorated it.

He likes, he, first of all, okay, let me explain the, he has an insane poster on there and a Led Zeppelin poster. Like it's his room. Yes. Yes. So number one, neither one of us would ever sleep.

If we, when we shared a room lots of times, he would sleep on the couch anyway, because he's up and down all night. It's like different sleeping patterns. I just don't understand why people have to sleep together. It's insane. It's bizarre. If you like sleeping together, sleep together.

And if you're a person who likes, you know, I like to have the window open, he used to come to bed in a full track suit. What? Because it would be too cold in there for him. I can relate to that. My wife, she wants the windows open in the winter. Yes, yes.

And she kicks the covers off. Yes. And when she kicks the covers off, it kicks him off and me. You're not fucking twins, get your own room. I mean, I don't you deserve it in life. So you're saying, I get my, I love sleeping with my wife. I love the, the, the,

So go into her room and cuddle with her and then get your fucking ass out. Get a good night's sleep. Why do we sleep with each other? Is it like a religious thing or a... Why do I know? I don't even know why. Like that's, actually that's great.

Let's go back to why it started, you know. Well, it was, Dick Van Dyke, they slept in separate beds. Right. Remember that? Pretty smart. She slept over here, he slept over there. So.

But that was in reality, that was just for TV. But they would go, at the time, that's what people did. You had two separate beds because it religion. In the same room. Huh? Yeah. That's yeah. Twin beds, two people like twin beds. I don't know. In the last like 100 years, we become so excessive. It's like we have a California king. We have the biggest bed you could possibly have. And people started. I have a king bed you could possibly have. Right. And people started. I have a king bed and Rich has a queen bed.

He's definitely a queen. Yeah, he's definitely, that sounds right. What is it? Those two beds aren't in the same room. I read that. That in the, from the 1850s, the 1950s, separate beds were seen as healthier, more modern options for couples than in the same bed.

So when did we start sleeping? I think after the 50s. So the 1950s, we started sleeping in the same bed. Yeah, the 60s. It was like, fuck it, they probably fucked and just got two lays in a jump back in their own bed. I think people were in the same bed. But I think that's bullshit.

You think so? You think the internet, first of all, you think the internet is bullshit? Yes. He just Googled it, Bonnie. At listen. Bonnie, he Googled the question and it came up with the facts and they're right there. Yeah, well.

How is that bullshit? I, you know what? I don't take everything that's given to me and go, oh, fact. I think for myself. I, that's, I mean, that's facts to me. No. It's right there.

No. Marry couples really sleep in separate beds back in the day, yes. In the 60s now. It doesn't bother you that he has a, he, he, he, look at, if he, okay, but then, okay, so then there's a second part to this query is, okay, we sleep in it.

I love when you get an intelligent, I like it. Thank you for having me on your jokes. I'm so glad you're here. We needed this. We needed the intelligent one. Yes, so. We needed that side of the comedy genre. I like this.

I was like, I'm stupid. But the other thing about, like, if you had to argue with somebody about, like, if a flat-earth or a cave in here, I would just have to hand it to them. Like, I wouldn't even, if a flat-earth was like, why is it round? You'd be like, I would just have to hand it to them. Like, if a fighter, there was like, why is it round? You'd be like, I don't know. I had a globe growing up.

Here's the problem with me. I, you can flip me in five seconds. I've gone on the internet and I was a fuck you liberal. And the next day, I'm like a fucking Republican. These motherfuckers. Right, you're. And one day, I'm like, maybe they didn't go to the moon. And the next... Oh no, I...

You don't think they went to the moon? I mean, I watched a documentary where I was like, they did not go to the moon. And then I was saying that in a green room and a comedian goes, you really believe they didn't go to the moon and I go, no, I'm just kidding. Like I just... Me too.

I won't, I won't. Yeah. I get nervous from being stupid. But secretly, I still sort of think they didn't go to the moon and I go, no, I'm just kidding. Like I just, me too. I won't, I won't, yeah. I get nervous, I'm being stupid. But secretly, I still sort of think they didn't go to the moon. Well, it's like, I think I watched the same documentary. And I'm like, didn't I? I always told my, don't, did you know? I feel bad because I'm filling my wife's head with dumb shit. Oh, I do this to Rich all the time.

It's your fault, it's you. You're the person. I try to, I try to go gently on certain things, because he showed up a bunch of times going, did you know, and oh my God, but he had a talk with Bonnie. There's no way he knew. He's going, did you know,

somebody else told him something? Did you know that the sun shut up? You didn't know either. Bonnie said something. It's a firmament. But there's too much information and there's, you can find, like if you think you have cancer, you can find something that says you have cancer. Well, 100% true. But also, the minute you, like once I start watching conspiracy videos on Instagram, it just keeps coming.

It's almost hard to not be radicalized. They fuck listen, I went on Facebook. My whole Facebook is right wing. It's all Fox News. It's like I want to hear some other shit. So I have to, I have to go find it. Right. And watch a bunch of clips.

And then it goes the other way. Right. Right. Like, some of this, I'll just leave it on something to like play, play, play, play, play, over and over. So that's like, it's like, how she really liked that stuff. I had zit popping zit videos for like a month and a half. That's all that came up on my Facebook feed and you get so, I don't know if it's lazy, you're just like, you're flipping on,

you're like, oh God, that's a crazy zit. Oh, look at those blackheads. Oh, is that a foot? And you're just in it and you just want to watch it. Because I hated Instagram until I started realizing like, you know, I was getting like the conspiracy videos. Right. And then how I'm always on it, because I love, I go to bed and I'm like, I don't know why. I just love like when they go, first of all, the biggest conspiracy of the conspiracy videos is that there's a guy who did a video and then another guy that just goes like this. Yeah, these people-

They don't say where- So they don't even do it the whole time, they'll just pop their head in. They just do that. I have. And it's like 300,000 likes. You're like, you go into the comments, it's every person be like, who's the real God, please tag that man. Who's the real person that did it? It it's like I want to start doing these videos I want to do them

with other people comics jokes yeah yeah it's just like some other cause it's so funny that that's the I want you to take this right now I'm gonna yeah take me and buy look at that camera right there look at that camera right there give Look at that camera right there. Just come over here. Do this. We're gonna give him a nod. It's almost like, thank God there was somebody nodding. I wouldn't have known to believe that. Oh, now that they've now that I saw one other person nod about it, I'm like, I'm deep in. And you know, they got that from some guy going,

you know what you gotta do now. Yeah. Watch other and make sure you point out going a green screen. Why he wants that? Well, they teach you. There's like guys. I started following guys that are like tell you what the trends are. Right. Right. Take this music. Now go like this. Yeah. I was watching this another guy. But you can you be the guy that does the pointing and then I want wanna do you, I wanna point at you, okay, okay, right.

Pointing at the guy. I'm gonna point to the guy, you point at me. Okay. Okay there. Now people know what to do. Well get, please take a video of what. And then we'll do it, you'll put it over at Danny. Can we do it, no, Danny video?

Yeah. All right, Danny doing stand up. Please make that video, post it, do it. Watch it get seven million views and we become famous with something. Who is the comedian? And tag the comedian. I'm going to see Vos and Norton going like this. Yeah.

A commit of Keith doing stand up with one arm. It's terrible. But that's amazing that you could like, it's just funny to me. Instagram is hilarious. Instagram is hilarious. Instagram is crazy. I mean, Twitter is still a fucking shit. I don't do Twitter at all anymore. I haven't done Facebook in like five years.

I love Facebook. I can't, I couldn't. I love Facebook because it's old people shit. Right, it's just people getting into arguments with each other. No, it's a guy fishing where it's not supposed to. It's, yeah, it's some Karen or it's a friend of mine. I don't even know if it's videos or I don't even know. They have a video option, but you can also go to marketplace.

They have a Craigslist marketplace where you can buy. I mean, I've bought in such stupid shit. And I don't even buy it. I just, there's a button. When you go to marketplace, it's like Craigslist, but you can hit local, so stuff all around you. And then all you have to do is, you hit a button, it is still available.

It's like the automatic auto response, click it, and it just sends somebody a thing. Is this still available? I don't want it. I just want them to talk to me. Right, right, right. And I have like 7,000 is this still available? So it's all I do.

And people go, do you still, and then like a week later, are you still interested? They have us. Are you still interested button? Right. And I know. They're not checking every day.

No, I never bought it. How about those people that are like in your, or in your, they DM you, hey, hello, beautiful. I don't, I don't know. You're always like, I don't know. What country are you translating this from? So it's you, hey, hello beautiful. I don't, you're always like, I didn't go wrong. Like country, are you translating this,

so it's like hello darling. Costa Rica. It's like, love beautiful. You have to put an accent with the body. It'll make sense. I can't. Ready, if you do it with a Jersey accent, hello beautiful, it doesn't sound good.

How about beautiful. Now do it this, hello beautiful. I love beautiful. Hello beautiful. How about this? Hello beautiful. Hello beautiful. I love you. Yes, hello beautiful. I love beautiful. How about this? Out of all that, Tafah. Out of all that. I love, yeah.

I love you. Yeah, it's all beautiful. It's crazy. The conspiracy thing though, I heard one that's freaking me out about Jamie Foxx. Oh, yeah, no, I believe I've. Have you looked into it? I mean, I've called the hospital, sure. Yeah.

It's crazy. This is why the conspiracyator, he's a clone, right? Is that the one you're talking about? No, that P did he poison them. Oh, okay. I don't know that one. I know the one that he took a, took a vaccine and it paralyzed him. And I know the one where they actually killed him and they made a clone of him. But I don't know this one. Well, I know that he, the hair weave, he had a hair weave, that's why it's the tattoo on the back of his neck, from the scar, covering up the scar, from back in the day before they did good spacewigs.

Like the one Dan Soda has. What? Oh shit, sorry, Dan. You didn't know that? No. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Husband's gonna get one, so too. Oh, okay. How's my husband's gonna get one so too?

By the way. He's not. 100%. No, listen, I think older men with full heads of hair look, it doesn't help them. It doesn't make them look masculine. What does it make them look? Feminine. Really?

I think older men with a lot of hair look very feminine to me. You should be losing some hair. Well, good, thank you. You should be at least receding. Yeah. Or maybe a patch in the back. Like a Tom Papa? It gives you a little, yeah, perfect example

when I say it gives you a little masculinity. So Colin Quinn? Colin Quinn? Colin Quinn, people think he's sexy. Yeah. You don't like that? George Clooney, look at this guy, you don't like that George Clooney look at this guy you don't like that. No. Oh that guy is good that he's cut because he's he's George Clooney look at George Clooney

Oh, I mean, you know, I bet he looks he looks nice there because somebody's done him up But I bet you in the morning when you go and look at him plus he has a beard, but yeah What about Brad Pitt look at Brad Pitt Hey, listen, you're allowed to believe whatever you want to believe, man. I'm just telling you what I think I'm just proving your theory wrong. I think thinning hair is he and he's got a little bit of a receding hair line there. Yeah, and he's probably got a space wig. There's no way Brad Pitt look at that.

That's it's receding. But he had it good. It also gets like he's got too much hair. He should, he should. It starts to look feminine, because he doesn't have a beard. It's a bit beard right now that I'm looking at him. He kind of looks like a hot older woman.

Yeah, yeah. Brad Pitt looks like my aunt. Yeah. Yeah, P. Diddy, supposedly, Jamie Foxx. but then there's another thing that he was poisoned on set. Oh. Because have you seen Jamie Foxx? No.

Have you, I mean, look at someone as a stroke. They're in a coma. Right. We would see video or pictures or something. That's Jamie Foxock. Right. He was in the public, he loved being in the public. So if he had a stroke, even if he could go, no, no, no, no, he would say something.

Right, he would be something. He would hold up some signs. Something. Jeremy Renner got run over by a fucking. This is gonna bring that up. Right? And he was on that afternoon going out and back. Right and he's back. Yeah, Jamie Foxx had a stroke Yeah, we haven't we we don't even know what's going on with nothing. No, what was something's up

Maybe he's really maybe he's in a coma. Maybe he's really bad. You think he's in a coma like Steven Segal What's the guy's in a coma in the Segal. What's Steven Segal's in a coma? In the movie he was. Oh. Remember? For like 10 years. How long can you be in a coma for? I don't think people have been in a coma for probably, look it up.

It's like, I bet you like the longest coma is like 40 years. Yeah, but you can't be in a coma on a respirator. A respirator, you get infections. You'll be dead. I'm dead. That's what people were dying of. The respirator gets in there and infects your shit. I'm dead. That's why people were dying the respirator gets in there and infect your shit and you're done.

Oh, wow. I think people have been, I think there was a girl that was in a coma just recently that came out of a coma after like 12 or 15 years. My audience is in a coma right now. 19 year coma, holy shit. 27 year coma. Wakes up after 27 years in a coma. That's a Hello romantic comedy. But that was a comedy. Who was that? Was that? What was that?

All your sleepers Sandra Bullock. Sandra Bullock. Yeah, she basically sexually assaulted some guy. No movie made from 20 years ago. Past would ever make it today. No, it's like no, even while you're asleep, there's like full rape going on and then women marrying that man. Yeah, first of all, that should have been Cosby's movie. Yeah, while he was sleeping. Yeah, he was out. Yeah, that was a good movie. Yeah, while he was sleeping. Yeah, he was out. Yeah, that was a good movie. It was a good romcom, right? Remember him? I have my eyebrows are too thick, dude. I have too much fucking facial hair. Who is a dilemma German or something? What's his name? Says

it right there. What's his name? Starrz. Oh, Bill Pullman. Peter Gallagher. Is it Peter Gallagher? Yeah. Yeah, it's Peter. Bill Pullman died. Yeah. All right. Yeah, it's, it's, it's fucking weird to me that the shit that was acceptable, like the movie, like you can't make a movie anymore. What? You can't make a movie anymore. What? You can't make a tropic thunder. You can't make a-

Oh, the thunder was such a good movie. American pie. Yeah, American pie is a little. It was fun. It's super bad. You can't make super bad. Right. Right.

You can't make any other shit anymore. What can we get? Or if you think it's gonna come back, because you listen, you're a director, you're a writer. Thank you. You're making stuff happen, right? And you know what they want. Or if you think it's gonna come back, because you listen, you're a director, you're a writer. Thank you. You're making stuff happen, right? And you know what they want.

You know what people are looking for. All people do say too much wokeness. But the thing is, is that we're still dealing with people who are our age or older in these key positions, right? So they're still looking at things through a certain lens, you know? So they don't like, they don't want, it's still predominantly white men choosing, let's say.

So they don't like a certain kind of comedy or they don't, they want it to be the way that they liked it when they were. But when those people get out and the newer people come in, you'll see different kinds of movies. I have to be honest with you. Yeah. people get out and the newer people come in, you'll see different kinds of movies. I have to be honest with you. Yeah. I've anything I've ever went to was mostly women and gay men.

What do you mean? Like pitching stuff or going in those offices. In those offices it's mostly women. But they're selling it to their boss. And you're saying that guy is the Always but yeah a lot of times or it's a you know somebody who got there by liking the same things as a I mean, I don't see I heard Billy's movies coming out as pretty edgy He made with Bobby kind of a la where I think you're gonna see some edgy movies coming up But then I think it's gonna spin a little bit again. Because the people, yes,

because the people who are coming into those positions of power are not Gen X. They're gonna be millennials and Gen Z's. I hate, I mean, I think Gen, I think we grew up in the best time. Yeah. I think we had the funnest. Yeah, no, we're really, really lucky.

I feel like we're blessed, because we got to have a life without phones for a long time. I mean, crazy. Yeah, we got to have childhoods that nobody gave a shit where we were parents didn't care. It was like so freeing. We didn't even realize how free. Like, we complained about it.

Like, we're lunch key kids, but it was actually such a gift, you know? I like Max got on his bike the other day and he came home and he put on all this gear and then he grabbed the Nerf gun, put a mask on and it was like, I'm like, where are you going? He goes going on the neighborhood to protect the neighborhood. That's so funny. And I was a little nervous. I'm like, I don't want somebody to get,

maybe one of the neighbors seeing him or, and then what if, and I was like, fuck it, just go. Right. Go. And then he fell. Right. Maybe one of the neighbors see him or and then what if I was like fuck it just go right go And then he fell Right, he called me on his phone. I'm like, oh fuck right like fuck Don't you remember like bandaging your friend and being like fucking suck it up I remember my my sister broke her hand and I was like don't ruin our day, you know She did end up going to the hospital,

but she's fucking sucked it up for a long time. I remember me and my friend Chris were at the park and there was like a little stream in the middle of the park that went to a sewer, an open sewer. A sewer? Sewer. Right. A sewer is something you get.

That's a sewer. An open wound. Sewer? What do you say? Sewer. Sewer. Yeah, but if I say it like that, it's. An open wound. Sewer? How do you say it? Sewer. Sewer. Yeah, but if I say it like that, I sound like an asshole. Sewer.

Right? My stupid accent fucks things up. Yeah. Sewer. Right? Doesn't this sound a little better that way? Sewer. Right?

I sound like an old Jew. Sewer. It's a sewer. There was a stream with the sewer. But a Thor. I know, but in the Boston accent, you have to be some slack. All right. Yeah.

Sua. You also say draw. Draw. Yeah, it's a draw. It was a draw. Yeah. You mean the draw you pull out or draw? No, you say that's the same.

I say draw for that, but. You say draw and draw. You say that's the same way. Yeah, I also say barrel. I call it trash can a barrel. Oh, okay, that's odd. It's a barrel. I've never for that but you say draw and draw you say I also say barrel. I call it trash can of barrel Okay, that's odd. It's a barrel. I've never heard that that we call it a barrel and we call soda soda Oh, and a sandwich is a sub right? We don't fuck around with that Hogi shit right no, you say hoagie. No, I say hero

We say sub I hate an agency so let's say hero. I don't what? Just kidding. We say sub. I hate it. I hate it. And I say sub. What's a hero? I don't know. How do we get hero? I don't know.

How to bread. I mean, if you can eat the whole thing, it's pretty impressive. Not for me. You're a hero. You didn't even know. Now that I have half a stomach, it is. Yeah. I dumped today at the seller.

And a half a piece of sandwich. It's about here. I was like, no, you threw up. Yeah, because of A2 fast. Yeah, it sucks. Oh. But anyways, my point is, I was too fast. I was like, no, you threw up. Yeah, because of A2 fast, yeah, it sucks. But anyways, my point is, I was at a stream. They had a stream, I'll talk about it. I had a stream in the middle of the park.

It started raining out, like, torrential. Me and my friend were in the stream lying as this water was filling up, pushing us down the stream into a sewer. Right, yes. That went underground, and we don't know where it went, and we were getting sucked into it, and nobody was there.

Nobody was telling us stop. I'm sure nobody ever found out. Like you didn't ever tell your parents. No. There was no consequences for that whatsoever. No, we had a blast, but it was probably one of the most dangerous things I've ever done in my life. Because if it got any rougher, we were just gone.

Right. Gone in a sewer. Right, but you're supposed to do stuff like that when you're kids. And we just, you know, there's like these places where you can send your kid where they let your kid like use a saw or a hammer, like stuff that's dangerous. I do that. What? I let Max. No, but there's places where like like it's like the opposite of daycare where you can send your kid to do dangerous stuff I was a drill without anybody Fuck the fuck It's true Because that's how fuck that we are. We're like you can set them down as hookers. Yes, fucking age movie

Because I just kind of files in the park. There's a little area just the bench. Hey, kid come over here and they can go over and they just be molested. If they fuck up, I mean, I didn't think the fire. I mean, it was that bad for kids. You know how funny that skit would be if you had a, right? If you had a Gen X park, like school, right? We're going to teach you kids to toughen them up. A lot of them up.

Well, because you don't wanna get, you don't wanna get your peck a sucked by a middle aged white man, say no. Yeah, you gotta figure out how to like, you know. Kid, don't take the candy. Yeah, well, it's funny because I saw this video where they were setting kids up. They would tell kids about ways

that they could get molested, right? And then they would do the thing, like an hour later. So one of the things was like they were saying, like, you know, ice cream truck will come by and they'll try to get you in the back and don't ever do it. And then they'd send an ice cream truck and the guy would be like, hey guys, I'm closing up.

If anybody wants an ice cream, come in the back and get it. They all went. Like this was like an hour later. You know, first of all, I guarantee the hour, like, now seconds dig for an ice cream. Yeah, I mean, well, that's, I was telling Rayna this when she was like, nine, she guarantee you all will like, I have seconds to dig for a nice. Yeah, I mean, well, I was telling Reyna this when she was like, nine, she was, wait, did they all get real ice cream?

It's like, you're missing the point of this story. I mean, ice cream is ice cream. Ice cream is worth a lot. There's nothing you can, kids can't be taught. They have to experience smaller station. It's like the hot stuff thing, you know, you gotta, you gotta get, got to get, you got to get you got to get dead old kids.

Yeah, sorry. You know, public service and now for me and Bonnie, your kids got to get dead old. It's gonna happen. Have a rainbow go over right now. Yeah. Yeah, what was this lady?

Because there's a lady on, I love her on Instagram or check talk. I don't know where these, because everything goes into everything now. They have the millennial or whatever the fuck it is going. Why did, why are we giving Gen X a pass? Oh, right, and then she's like, well, because of that stuff. Because we'll fucking beat the shit out of you.

But she goes, one of them was like, why did you drink from a hose? There's a sink inside. Sabemos lo importante que es sentirse acompañado. Por eso en Caixa Bank ahora cuentas con un préstimo para hacer realidad tus ilusiones. Solicitalo desde el móvil o a través de tu gestor. Informa tencaishabank.es. Caishabank, tu y yo, nosotros, siempre que se mantengan las circunstancias económico-financeras del solicitante en el momento de la solicitud. 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno. Esta es la 3 por uno señal, que significa que ya puedes aprovecharte del 3 por uno en medianas al omicidio solo pidiendo al line

¿Sabes? 3 por uno, 3 por uno Ah no no no ¡Dominos! Pizza Yo me he de una memoria distinuada, la primera segunda grade Me he de venir a casa, mi madre me sentía un esponso y dijo, ¡Go play! my mother handing me a spoon and saying, go play. And I remember going into the side of the house had little bushes.

And I remember digging in the dirt and getting sticks and making a for it like a little tiny. And I remember eating the dirt going, that's gross because it looked like chocolate at one point. And I remember for hours until the sun went down and she, because it looked like chocolate at one point. And I remember for hours, until the sun went down, and she went, bobe! And I went in, and I was fucking filthy.

I washed my hands, I brushed my teeth. Eight your dinner. Eight my dinner. Not as much as normal, because you did have the dirt, but yes. Yeah. And I remember having, I mean, it wasn't like a sad moment. It was like a no It was like insane. You would you the minute we were done our chores

We were allowed we didn't have to come back until it was dark out and in Canada wouldn't get dark Sometimes until like 11 15 or something. It was fucking weird. We would just be out like the whole fucking time You grew up in a farm Yeah, and then we would just be eating. So does we eat stuff out of the garden? We'd be like getting carrots and shaking the dirt off of it eating. That's great.

Riding a horse, whatever. That's why I love, because we're going up to the tiny house Sunday for two months. Wow. And Max starts wilderness camp the first week. OK. So he's in wilderness camp, which is they go hiking, canoeing, overnight. And then at night he comes back to the house and we go fishing.

Wait, he goes all every day, but not overnight. Money Tuesday wins that. No, not overnight. He comes home at around, I think, three or four o'clock. We go pick him up, but then we go and hike and do shit until the sun goes down. But we're on the woods every day all day. And then at night we'll go in and watch a little TV

or some shit at night before we go to bed. And then we hot. We have a little tiny, how go up to us thing. I wake up every morning, go for my little stupid walks with a dog on the country road. I love it. Yeah, it country road. I love it. Yeah, it's heaven. I love it. Like we were playing the mega box the other day and I was like, I almost don't want to, I don't want to win because if I win, I'm out. I'm going up there. Right. I'm out.

You'll never, you guys won't see, I'll never see my friends again. Right. Unless you come to me. Right. Because I love it. I can't wait for next Sunday to be in the tiny house. Just to be in the fucking woods. I leave my phone in the house. Yeah, because you're, this is I'm going to get too weird, but you're experiencing the moment, which is so hard to do. Like even here in New York, like when I was walking around, you know, I did, uh, Bennington earlier and then before your show. And it's like, I went into the park and it's like,

it's like nobody's ever touching nature. I mean, that's all they have. It's this little tiny patch of grass, do you know what I mean? It's like, it's wild that it's just too much all the time coming at you. It's like when you're in nature, it sounds so okay, but like, if you're in nature, you then, you're like, you're living in the moment, you really are, it's like it feels good,

it's like important to your soul. I'm telling you right now, being in the hamster for those two months is saves my life. Because I'm not thinking about fame, I'm not thinking about likes. two months is saves my life. Yeah. Because I'm not thinking about fame. I'm not thinking about likes. Right. I'm still doing my podcast.

I'm still doing the things. Right. You still have your passion. I still do my thing and I have fond doing. I love talking. I love doing this shit. But when I'm up there and I'm in the, I love being in the woods.

There's something scary at night. Because the trees are there and I'm in the, I love being in the woods. There's something scary at night, because the trees are there, and I'm terrified of the darkness, but there's something about being. Maybe not a great match for you. What's that? I like it though, it overcomes my shit. Right.

The quietness overcomes my anxiety. Right. The physical stuff that you're doing, you don't even know you're doing. Right. It gets all that bullshit out. Right. The physical stuff that you're doing, you don't even know you're doing. Right. It gets all that bullshit out. Right. And I don't care about anything.

I don't care about shows. I don't care about selling tickets. Right. Give a fuck. That's how you're supposed to feel though. I know. That's why, because people didn't get this much information before, this was like all new to be like.

It's like you shouldn't have that many. You should like talk to a friend who was like, I'll know to be like, it's like you shouldn't have that many. You should like talk to a friend who's like, you should really just have the same views as your friends. That's how it used to be. Like, just were like, all your neighbors had the same views on things. You didn't get like a thousand different. Yeah. Now, everybody's got a plucked their views on their lawn. And you go down, that guy's a douche. She's cool. Fuck them. You just didn't think about things that much, I guess. Not at all. Okay. Not at all.

Yeah, because I think in the 80s too, I remember thinking like it was all figured out. What do you mean? Like a feminism and like we weren't feminists because we were kind of like, well that already happens. I gotta tell you, I think I talked about this before. Did I talk about the feminism, how feminists, this is a good one, good conspiracy. Okay. We talked about this before. Did I talk about the feminism, how feminists, this is a good one, good conspiracy.

Okay. We talked about this before. Well, about how, I think we've talked about the different waves of feminism before. There's a video with a guy who was friends with the Rockefeller, and the guy Rockefeller was like, Oh, invented feminism. Invented, fast, do you see that one? I think so, it's.

That's a good one. Please provide me. They invented feminism because they needed to tax, they weren't taxing half the country. Right. Because women were all home, taking care of the families. Right, they're like, how are we gonna get women to want to work?

We need women to wanna work so we can make more money, so they'll spend more money. We can tax more people in the government, and we can break up the family unit and we can control the kids more. Kids went to school earlier, kids didn't go to school as early as they did. They wanted them to go to school earlier

to fucking control them. They want kids in school from the second they start thinking to teach them, they shit, they wanna teach them, to keep them away from their parents, make both parents work so they don't have time for the kids. So the kids will go to us for their fucking thoughts. And look at what happened. Well, it is true because when I was,

you know, living in the condo complex with Rich Reina was younger and Rich would be on the road a lot and I stayed home with Reina and, you know and talked to a lot of the moms all the time. And so there's some say home dads too. Any kid that had at least one parent sort of all the time, whether the parent was a good parent or not, a good parent, the kid was always way more socially acceptable.

You know what I mean? They were just able to sort of understand different social dynamics, even if the parents were kind of wacky. Yeah. But the kids that went into, they'd go into early care, daycare early in the morning, the parents would drop them off, then they'd go to school, then they'd go to aftercare, then they'd come home. And those kids are always like a little like little fucking loopy.

Yes. Yes. Because they don't have that one thing I guess to. They weren't taught how to be a person, how to be a, when you had a member of society. I took Max down here on Saturday night and we were hanging. He's making me laugh. Yes, right. Like we're hanging at the table and he's cracking up together.

Right. I mean, eating your friends. We're sharing. He's like, Dad, let me get one of those. We're like pals. Yes. Yes. And then we went home. We watched TV together. It's like he, he, when he shakes somebody's hand, five and two, he knows. Shake the hand, look in the eyes. And then you go, what's your name? If you don't know what you name, and it was just wild to see him off front with the door guys

Hey, what you name a max nice to meet you, right? And they're like dude your kids are awesome. Yeah Cuz he had a mom That was home right and I would go home any or dad that talked to him I mean I think parents don't talk like Those kids that are get you know, they come home. No, you know by the time they get home the parents are frazzled They've been at work all day. They're saying, get in the bath, get your brush your teeth, you know, it's just yellow. Go to bed.

Yes, they don't get that like actual, you know, kind of friend interaction. Fucking weird. Yeah. I'm, I'm, I'm so happy we brought up my weight thing, my surgery that I got. You said you wanted to talk about it. Yes, yeah. It's a year. Just the throwing up.

Well, it's a year. What happens was I got the contacts, people who know my podcast, I got the gastric sleeve. It's called the sleeve. It's really, they just make you stomach smaller. It's a year ago, a month. June 27th is when I got it.

Right. And it's kind of weird for me right now. Wait, it's June 27th today. Is it? I think it's a, is it? Yeah. Yeah. Today is my anniversary.

Yeah. Oh, happy anniversary. My stomach, my new stomach and my old stomach's in a garbage bag. Why never old today? My old stomach's some Guatemalan's wallet right now. I'd love to give you a new stomach a cupcake, but I know you're not allowed. Well, the thing is today, it's so funny that I dumped today on my anniversary.

My stomach is so small, if I eat too fast or too much, I get sick. But are you like hungry the way you used to be? Like, you know, if you sit down and eat like turkey and mashed potatoes, let's say you're like, I could eat that whole plateful. My addictive shit is, yes. So I have an addictive personality. Right. And I don't know if you can, I know you understand it,

but like, Dawn understands it because she's live with me. I've been sober for so long, but she doesn't really get it. Right, it's like just stop. It's like you understand, I understand. And if we get no fight, you're like, all right, I was, it's my fault. Right. You're right.

But in her heart of heart, she's like, the fuck is wrong with you? You know, I know it. I know. I don't know if you feel the same way with Rich, but. I just, yeah, I just think you're in charge of your brain. I understand that. I understand it. It makes sense, but it's just not the way it is with some people.

Right, right, right. We have to give it over to our higher power. Right. Which sounds nuts. Right. Nuts. I get it. It's just, it has to our higher power. Right. Which sounds nuts. Right. Nuts. I get it.

It's just, it has to be done that way. But it sounds crazy when you say it a lot. But my, so when I got the food today, I'm eating with a friend, like, let's eat. I was like, okay, so I ordered this, that, and this. Over ordered. Over ordered, like I used to. that and this. Over ordered, over ordered like I used to. All good food, salmon,

hummus, red, and they ordered, and I started eating, I ate too much. It was too much in front of me. I have, when I eat, I have to eat, just get the salmon and eat the salmon. And then if I can get something else, if I'm, you know, I could do it. If not, that's it. Well, that's the thing that you are a grown human.

52. Living amongst food everywhere. There's no scarcity. Habits. There's zero scarcity. Yeah. So, this is the thing is like, you don't have to over order. You could like eat something and then if you're still hungry

an hour later, it's easy to get another habit. It's shitty habits. It's when I go with my wife, you get an appetizer. I'll get an appetizer. We share the appetizer. We'll get a salad. Then we'll get a main course with the sides. And then we get dessert with two cappuccinos.

That's going out to dinner. Well, now I go, I have to say it. Can you please split somebody over me? Right. And how does she feel about that? Because I feel guilty for the waitress. Oh. And we're just going to, and because I know I was a way,

I was a way, the guilty for the waitress. The tip is lower. I know. I know. I know. It's, it's my fat guilt. Right. We are. It's my fat for the wage. The tip is lower. I know, I know. I just need a little more. It's my fat guilt. Right, weird. It's my fatso inside that's never gonna leave.

And I have to. Like you got to have to, you can't just have water. You got to like, or something. Fuck food. Like I have to go fuck food. Right. When my wife goes, where do you want to go for dinner?

I go, I fuck it. I have to go, I don't care. I'll go wherever you guys want to go. I don't care. But you still enjoy it, right? I do enjoy it, but I have to be careful. And I leave food too. I feel guilty.

My mother, take it with you. Eat it tomorrow. I don't want to eat it tomorrow. I'm a fat fuck because I eat it tomorrow. Right. I'm a fat fuck because it's eat it tomorrow. Right. Rich has the same thing with free food. He can't not take free food. You're like, order healthy food to the club if you want.

You know, like if they don't have salads and stuff, but he won't, he'll only order what's on the menu at a club because it's free for him. Do you know what I mean? And it's you don't have to eat a deep fried Turkey burger, you know, you can order you can they'll bring you food from miles away Boss isn't as a fucking I don't know if he's human Yeah, I Just don't understand your husband right no, I't either. I've toured with him.

Yeah. He has a Lexus. Yeah. He's got a house. Yeah. He's got a lot of money stored up. Hopefully. It's in the wall downstairs, $5,000.

Oh my God. Sorry. Did I say that? That's all. Did I just say that? Well, there. We thought I know about that one. Oh, okay. Anyway, I'm kidding.

Um, he takes food like he's homeless. Right. It's a scarcity mindset. He can't that's we'll get back to the room. You said, why is this room like that? It's like if you were born for, it calls to you every minute of your life. It's the worst addiction because it's always like, come on, man. He'll tell me I'm in the shit, the shit club.

There's 20 people here, but the salmon's awesome. Yeah. I'm like, are you working club because of salmon? He brings home so much free food. Yeah. No, he would though. It's like a bizarre. I don't get it.

It's like, you have money. You can say no. Don't, they're lopsided best. It's amazing. Because his dopamine comes when he saves money or when he's getting something free. He gets a dopamine hit. What is that?

I don't know. It's white trash, man. That's how he grew up. He can't fucking help it. It's like, you look around at his life. It's constantly, it's white trash, man. That's how he grew up. He can't fucking help it. It's like, you look around at his life. It's constantly, it's like the tattoos, the rings. Everything about him is white trash being like, come home, baby, come home.

It's like always in his ear, you know what I mean? It's like, it's a very strong pull that he- I love Rich Voss, one of my favorite people. Yeah. I love talking to him I've he's made me laugh like nobody's made me laugh right and I'm Dude me and him have laughed on the phone at two in the morning coming back from a shit gig I mean cracking up almost we have to pull the car over right for the outrageous shit that we talk about yes But he on the on the right other side that, there's nobody has made me more angry

than your fucking husband. I mean, it's, he can't get through to him. He took salmon off a craft service table. Yeah. Oh no, he's shaming. It takes salmon. Who takes, like not a salmon. We went to some tapings the other night.

Some, you know, there was a comedy, people, they're taping some specials at this club in New Jersey. I can't remember the name of the club. But we went there and I was like, cause my friend Micah did one, Micah Fox. Yeah, funny, very fun. And so I wanted to go to see Micah.

And Rich was like, I'm coming. And I didn't know why he was coming. It seemed weird. But then I realized like the minute we got there, he was like ordering food. He came with me to the table because he knew it could get free real. It's fucking, he has money. He has Rolexes. I know.

He's got diamond rings. Alexis, his wife, do you understand if Don made your money, I would stay home. I wouldn't. I don't have to stay home. Bonnie, if Don made what you make, I would be home with Raina all the time. You'd come home. The house would be perfect.

No. I swear to God, I, look, I love Don. She made a choice. I asked you, you want to stay home. The house would be perfect. No. I swear to God. I, I, look, I love Dawn. She made a choice. I asked you want to stay home? I want to stay home. Great. I'll go work. But if Dawn made a half of what you make, I'm still the stay at home parent. What do you mean? I stay. Well, he's got to go get fucking. He goes on the road every week. A chuckle. Yes. He's like. Good, I want to get my buffalo chicken panini. I know. At Side Split.

I've been to clubs where they've made me meals to take home to Rich. I swear to God, they've gotten a call or something, and they're like, here's that, you know, seafood medley that Rich asks. I'm sorry, I have yeah, call him out Hello, I'm deleting your number from my phone. Don't ever call me again when our friends. Bye. Love you I don't like you anymore

I'm done with him. I'm done. I'm done. I'm not going to be friends with him anymore. Why? Because of that? We have to teach him. Oh, we have to teach him. No, it's too late.

You have to accept him. You just have to like, you know what? I swear to God, this is so crazy, but I had to be like, I love him anyway. Like I had to release some of the shit that he does. Foss. See, good things happen to good people. Okay, you're back in my phone. This is why, this is why you're a husband.

He's one of, I've never been more aggravated by a human being and I've never, he'll be on the road and I'll be almost tearing up how much I love him. Honest to God. Really? Yes, because there's something about him that we said before about the three-legged dog or whatever.

Yes. Yes. And then within two minutes of him being home, I'll be like slamming my door closed. Like, I don't want to talk to him anymore. Yeah, I understand it. Yeah. I understand it.

I've been with Voss where I'm like, oh, this is so awesome. And then all of a sudden I'm like, fuck him. I make bad choices. I say the same thing about myself. We're talking, we're, you, listen, we're talking about your food addiction. What about it? Okay, did you go to the comedy show the other night, the specials just to get the free dinner. Now, be honest, be honest.

Listen, Bonnie, I went, I went so they could see a fucking celebrity. That's why I went. Oh, you were touching them with your presence. The free dinner was a bonus, that's all. Here's how you know, I'll tell you how you know if it was, what did you have? I had a chicken sandwich and it had crab

cake that had pasta 100 percent 100 percent he went there for the he knows every he knows the whole fucking menu he looked at the menu before he went no he doesn't even know how to do that first of all I've worked there before I've worked as a waiter I knew that's how he knew no no I've worked there before. I've worked there before. I knew, that's how he knew. No, I've done shows here, stupid. What club? It's called, oh, St. Garcia. It's called, it's flipping my mind. I'll think of it.

Why would I ask a 65-year-old crossroads? Crossroads. Yes, and that's what we're making right now Crossroads I'll see you later. I think I didn't roads. Bye. Hey, hold on. What? Another woman there. That's not that's Max my producer. Oh, God. He sounds like a dirt. He sounds like a skirt. What are you? What are you? Mickey Rork and fucking What are you fucking what are you Mickey Rork and fucking Harley Davidson and the mob Roman. It was so funny the other night Bobby called a clubhouse and the club is called the grand and Bob goes to your work at a place on how much you're making.

It was so funny. I'll call him and he'll pick up the phone while he's on stage a lot. He always does. He'll call me. I don't know that he's I up the phone while he's on stage a lot. He always does he'll call me I don't know that he's I for some reason never think about it And then I'll just be like laying in bed or who knows what and just answer and then it's like Barney these people in the front row or you know, whatever and it's like now I got to make this funny Yeah, he's looking he's looking to fucking He's looking for

Kills time. Yeah, yeah because his salmon's not done yet. Right. Yeah. Whoa. All right, goodbye. Running out of material on the podcast I see. Well, let me go. You guys stink.

He's one of the funniest people. He's really funny. I mean, he's really, really funny. What do you got going on besides you had a movie you made last year? Like, he tells me things but very sick, dude, I can't say anything. Well, I got some things going on, but now I'm in a holding pattern because of the strike. Okay, but I did sell the rights to the book that I wrote. And so there's what's the book is called you're better than me, right? And it's about my childhood in Canada, best friends with a cow.

And no, I really had a cow. But a book is pretty funny. But anyway, they're doing just the high school years for the series. So you're doing a series, is it? So the series I've already written the pilot, but now I have to like write the rest of the series. Really? Yeah, but we have to wait for what?

The strike to be over. So you're gonna have a show with what, with F-axis somebody? Can you say it? It's's so it's gonna be in Canada. It's gonna be shot in Canada it's made in Canada they may sell it at some point to you know American streamer I'm sure that they want to. You make less money with Canada. I do I do. I do. I do. I think I said something really I do nobody in America wanted it I Didn't I didn't even have a Canadian company came to me and said we want to like do this right so it wasn't like I was out pitching it

Right, it's just out of the blue Yeah, they just read the book that we're looking for material. I don't know and then Yeah, they offered me a deal. You can't, you asked me, remember you were going to write something for me once? I would love to. Yeah. Yes. And I've talked to you about it many times. I think you're a fantastic actor. But you should have your own show or movie. I'm, do you, does it have to be funny?

Um, I think it would probably benefit you for it to be funny. It would be easier for you to sell it. But like if you wrote it, would you have to write funny or can you write dramatic? Well, it depends what the show would be about because... No, I'm talking like a movie. A movie? Yeah. Yeah, no, I mean, I think that it would be funny, regardless.

Right. Because it's you and it's your life. And that's how you're, I mean, would it have to be like a hilarious Judd Appetale style no? But, but. Do you know it's weird about my life? The first half of it. Up until I think, maybe a little bit in the beginning, but most of my life until I think maybe a little bit in the beginning,

but most of my life until I got sober and out of rehab was 100% not funny. Yeah, you know the left? I laughed, but not like I did when I got sober. Well, we've got it. I become a comedian. When I started going to AA meetings, I hung out with these cool kids,

we were young kids in AA. How old were you at the time? 16 and a half. When you started getting sober? I was quit when I was 15. I went to jail for a few months. Wow. And then I went to rehab for 14 months.

Wow. So when I got out of there, I started going to meetings around Melrose mass and where I lived. And I met a kid Mark Caesar, who became my best friend. And another kid, Jamie Dredjo, who became best friends.

It was still friends to this day. I loved those guys. But we were all sober. There were all, yeah, we're all sober. Like he went to Berkeley, he was in Long Hair, he was in a band. So we used to, the other kid was kind of Italian.

We used to hang out and go to AA dances. And all we did was fucking bust each other's balls and have fun with each other, make each other laugh. So we would all get to these dances or go to IHOP after to hang out and be sober, and we would tell stories. And I started, like, there was a long time, two years almost where I didn't meet any girls. And I had to relearn how to

hook up, because there was drunk street kid punk, hooking up. And now I'm sober. And I had to look like I, like I first, when I first set a meet girls in high school, I would just be like, yeah, I'm sober. I believe in God, the third step, and they'd be like, what? Like I had a mark, had it teach me how to shut the fuck up, let them talk, listen, girls, he taught me how to get laid again, and hook up and meet girls. And we would go to a hate dance.

He's like, just, here's how I, I don't know. Say it. I was gonna say something about you second is cock, but yeah, no, I blew him. Yeah, no, he should have said it I don't know why it was like so hard to come out. Um, it was a timing thing not a content thing I Yeah, and then I learned how to do all that shit again That's what my that's what my life became funny. Right. But before that, I don't remember laughing. Wow. I don't I don't remember having fun. But I think I've started to realize that like being a comedian, that's just another way to get a dopamine hit too. It's like the same thing as addiction because you love so much being around other

comedians. Why? Because they make you laugh and it's such a laughter is such a drug. People don't even realize. It's like when you go to a comedy club and everybody's laughing, that's the drug. Being in that audience is what the drug is. It's like, you think it's like, oh, this comedian is so hilarious or whatever, but it's really like being with other people laughing at the same thing, whether you kind of agree with it or not,

it's just like, that's the drug, you know? Yeah, sometimes I don't, this is a weird thing to admit, but sometimes I'm like, dude, you're not a comic, you're just an addict, and you learned how to do comedy to get a fix. Yes, yes. Without getting bag, without having to give up your sobriety date.

Right, right. Whatever you wanted, and nobody would really get mad, you know? Yeah, nobody. without getting bag, without having to give up your sobriety date. Right. Right. Whatever you wanted and nobody would really get mad. Yeah. Nobody. Like, obviously you couldn't say that, you know, to other people in college or you couldn't say that at work or you couldn't say that to your parents or whatever.

But then all of a sudden you're with these people where you can say the worst fucking shit. You didn't have to have that fear in the back of your head of like, oh, I'm gonna get in trouble. It's such a good feeling. It's such a great feeling, but people don't understand the shit we say to each other. Right. It's horrific.

Well, because it's so funny, you know, there's this clip of Natalie Cuomo on a morning show where she does one of her jokes. And it's so funny, because it's so indicative of like, comics hanging out, it's such a mild, mild joke in comedy terms. They say, are you, who's the Cuomo guy?

They say, are you? Are you Cuomo? Andrew, Andrew Cuomo? Yeah, they're like, are you related? And she goes, she goes, no, but my uncle did molest some people. So I guess we have that in common. And it was like, right around the time,

I was having problems with her. And the woman was like, right around the time. I mean, for all of us, whatever. And the woman was like, ah, you know what I mean? And it's just so now, it just says it like, there's not going to be any problem with this because she said it a million times or do you know to be like, you get in this weird bubble of like, thinking like, like, if you like the other night, I said, Contan stage, and I was like, I wish I hadn't done that because it's such a fucking powerful word for people.

And you're like, oh, it means nothing to me. I don't care at all. I did that in a Ruba, my first show. And there's kids, like you go to Ruba, here's a deal. That's like a corporate kick. Yeah. I'm going there to go to a Ruba. And you have to cater. I make the choice. I'm gonna sell my soul a little kick. I'm going there to go to Aruba and you have to cater. I make the choice.

I'm going to sell my soul a little bit and I'm going to do the show I'm supposed to do. I had the first show there. I didn't cater anything and I said, I said, Cunt on stage. I went, what's the line? I said, a vampire at my Cunt and Alley book. That my wife's reading, my wife's reading her vampire ate my Continentalie book. And I just looked down and saw little kids go. Yes, I know. And the parent went like they was slapped in the face. Well, it's weird too because people will listen to a lot of shit on a podcast or on television

or YouTube or whatever. It doesn't bother them, but in real life, it is so shocking because especially work right now, it's like you have to be a different human if you go to an actual job. Like you can't say anything wrong. Corporate. Yeah, it's very, very corporate. And so then they're living in that bubble of, and then they come out and you walk out on stage, you know, especially if it's like a cold audience and

they haven't been warmed up and you say some shit, it's like wild watching. You're like, where, what have you been doing this all? Like you really haven't said anything. If, if me and Voss's late night conversations were ever revealed? Yes. Oh, there's so many things where he's called and said something to me that it's like so funny that I can't even tell people when the joke is. Nobody. I mean, nobody.

I mean, me and Voss, we play that game, I hope you. Yeah. Do you have a tell you about that? No, no. Every time we have the phone, it's like, I hope guy, I hope you hit a tree on the way home. And he'll be like, he'll laugh. Tootie Golden, I were doing it on Texan and then she did one that I was like,

It's on Tav, I never do it on Tex. I would never do any of those, I don't want those written down anywhere, holy shit. I know, but even we're like not immune. It's so funny. All right, well, what are you going on? What's your plugs? What's happening?

Nothing. I don't know. Just a couple of me on Instagram. Are you doing shows? I do shows all the time. But are you headlining? Are you rolling? I'm like, oh, on the road, a bed here and there and do stuff.

But I mean, I'm not. I don't, with stand up, it's weird. I don't do any outreach. I just, if people call me and have a gig that I'm available for, I usually do it. You're like Bill Murray. I just don't. With acting. Yeah, I don't know. I just, um, like sometimes, like I'll put in at the stand and stuff in New York comedy club. And, um, I don't know. I just, sometimes I don't get it, like on a Friday. I won't have any shows and I'm so happy.

I had last Friday off. Yeah, it's like wild. I think it was 830. I was on the couch watching SWAT. And Don was reading the book and Max was playing a game. Like this is like a real life right here. Yeah, life. Yeah. I'm so happy I've been living a real life. Right. Because I think, well, for 25 years, I didn't. Right, you're just grinding. Grinding on the road, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, in the city.

Right. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, in the city. Right. And you took a day off once in a while. Or your vacations were cool gigs somewhere. Right. Money Tuesday Wednesday in the city. Right. And you took a day off once in a while. Are you your vacations with Cool Gig somewhere? Right. With Donald Crom, Florida, some stupid shit. Right.

Oh my God, it's like, even I can't, people want to go to dinner. I'm like, let me line up a set. I can't come into the city without doing sets. I hate it. I'm so glad. But I still love, like still love doing stand up. I like tonight's show I love doing, cause it was so fun and no pressure.

No pressure, yeah. I love doing the Tuesday nights at the pussy cat too. I love doing that, but people like, you know, come in Monday and Wednesday, no. Right. Sunday, I'm done. I always come home Sunday. Monday I'm off.

Right. And then Wednesday I'm done too. I go home. I do the bonfire. Monday and Wednesday I'm off. Right. And then Wednesday, I'm done to I go home. I do the bonfire. Right Monday. And Wednesday, I go home. Right. I'm out. I'd rather be home as soon as we done with this. I'm going home. Right. Go on the fuck home I got my fudge. You go waiting for me. I got a couple more sets. You guys more sets. Yeah, I got nothing I'm done. I'm gonna go over to the stand. Oh Oh

Bonnie I I want to say thanks coming on I miss you haven't seen you in a while. I miss you too Congratulations on the new house. Thank you. No, your husband was freaking out about it. I mean, it's a big deal. It's a big step It's really not Fine you guys have a house you deserve yeah, I agree you have a built-in pool finally. Yeah, and now we can come over and Throw parties right and swim. Yes, right, but are you gonna be gonna? But we're gonna have to bring her on meat. No, he's back on me. Oh God. That was him and Reina. They left me Yeah, because being a vegan is boring as shit It's boring. Yes, I mean it's I think of it as like eating living things is disgusting. So I don't think of it like it's for people, you know.

Is that because you had a friend a cow friend in Canada? I don't know. People always ask me that. Because your buddy was a guy. Because I like actually, I like animals. I don't know. I don't know what. I love animals. In my ballet. I've never really, I feel like I is a little bit of a cheat because I've never, I've always been a little

grossed out by me. Really? I love it. I love it. I know, people do. I love it, I love it, I love it. Right. I love it.

But I also love vegetables. I love all the shit you like. Right. And dirt. Huh? I love it. I love it. I love it. But I also love vegetables. I love all the shit you like. Right. And dirt. Huh? I love dirt. I'm a fucking piece of shit white trash. That had a spoonful of dirt because my mother didn't want to play with me and my sister hated me. There's some matches. Get out back. Yeah. Go light a fire. Yeah. Once you go to the church, become an altar boy. See if you can help you out a little bit. It was great. Nobody cared where we were. What we're doing. It's the best. That's why we're fucking funny. Yeah. Now the new comics are fucking.

It's, it's, you know what it is. It's like there's a sensitivity to everybody that's like really hard to deal with sometimes. The conversations at the table once I kind of step in and it's very analytical. And it was the other word I'm gonna for. Very, just not fun. Right. It's like sometimes you're listening to somebody's like reading a New York Times article or something. You're like, hey.

Yeah, it's very serious. Right. A thoughtful. I hate thoughtful comedians. I really hate a thoughtful table of comics. When you walk up and I was like, yeah, man, I was trying this. Oh, yeah, that's a good one. Listen. Or you do a joke and they go, what? Yeah, I love sitting down and seeing Vosko, yeah. I just love a fun table of comics that just smash each other. Talk about yeah, it's the fucking, I mean, that's where podcasting, as we know it, was the from hanging at a comedy club with other comedians. Right. That's the most

fun. Like, that's why I'm a comedian as much as being a comedian, as much as going on stage and writing jokes, is like hanging in comedians. Yeah. That's all this is. That's all this. This whole. You said we're fun than this, but like I do.

I'm enjoying it also. We've been very analytical. We've been doing the thing you hate. How we doing the thing we hate? All right, we got to wrap it up. We've been very analytical. We've been doing the thing you hate. How we doing the thing we hate? Ha ha ha ha. All right, we gotta wrap it up. Bonnie, you have nothing coming up except to stand, but you have social media.

Yeah, I have social media. I do have stuff I don't know. What is your social media? I'm doing verb, what's it called? Verve on a... Is that Danny Braf's room? Yeah, August 17th. Is it autistic Danny?

yes. the whole crew here is autistic. artistic or autistic? yeah well i would say like men are. does no women there are autistic? yes but i'm saying all men are. i'm autistic? yeah i'm not that smart. i'm not that smart.

i need Danny, autistic Danny. not all autistic people are smart, you know that right? No, but a lot of them are good. Danny's good, Joe's good, Max is good. They're good at certain things. I mean, he's not good at saying hello and goodbye. Right. Conversationally, Danny, I've literally had to tell him how to.

Well, that's the great thing about him though. It's like he'll text you you want texting back He doesn't even know to be mad like he doesn't he's not slighted. We're good at counting matches He doesn't know how to He doesn't know how to be like he has no social skills like killings in the song. I like that about him though That's one of the things I like about him. I don't like that like I've never had to hug him or anything You know, I don't want to hug it all like it's Like, it's always like, it feels good to be awkward with him because I can just get away.

Yeah, hugging, I've tried to hug him one time like a goodbye and it was like going to it like a elephant seal trying to hug that. Yeah. They're like, oh, yeah, yeah. I tried hugging you once and you said, don't do that and I've thought about how uncomfortable it was ever since. I said that to you. Yeah, you said, don't do that. I I've thought about how uncomfortable it was ever since. I said that to you. Yeah, you don't do that.

I like what my boundaries are. And her show was what date is a show, dude? August 17th. In summer. Summerville, New Jersey, coming over August 17th with Bonnie McClurland. There you go. Bonnie, you're the best. I would love to fucking do a show with you. Let's do it.

We have to have Vos in it though. No. You know he'd be like, why am I not in it? He's fine. You sure? Yes. We should do something. Yeah.

I have an idea. Okay. Let's talk about it while you're on strike. Well, yeah, I could talk about it, but that's it. Hey, well, you have to write it. Right. What's the camera? That's everything.

Yeah. You're still right, right? It's like write it. Right. Right. What's the camera? That's everything. So, like, you're still right, right? It's like, no. You're not gonna write. You can't, right? You're not gonna write. No. Right?

All right, let's talk about it. Make sure you go check out the me, Robert Kelly Live. I have a little tour I'm doing this summer. Burlington, Vermont on the 20th of July, Portham is the Hampshire second show just added. We have a six in an eight 30. That's 27th to 28th. I'm in Nashville in the Hampshire.

And then the 29th, I'm in La Conia. That's up. All the shows are near my tiny house up in the Hampshire. I booked all those shows. I believe Danny's trying to book something up in Poetsmas, right? Where are we going? What is it called? What do you mean the room the monkey room member? This is the first time hearing of this nice talking to you. Maybe I'm in the wrong place. Let's just speed this up

I gotta go anyways. I knew you're gonna do this. I knew you're gonna do this. I really you always do it Every time you're on my show, you make it like it's a, at the end you like, I don't wanna be, like you have some, I don't know, some alternative pride. Well, I was supposed to be somewhere at 9.30. Is it my fault? No, no, sorry.

Danny said that I would be done by now. Yeah, well Danny, you're a twat. Sorry. You did say 10. Okay. I said, to be there at 10. There you go. Well, you're out. You're done. I'm just doing plugs

comic rebels.com YKWD Bonnie one of the funniest people one of the talented people, but don't don't judge by this appearance. Why I feel like I was tired Not being funny, but I can be I don't think you're I think you're great. You always do this too Okay, you always tumble out of control You literally every time you've been on my podcast, it's, are we done? I didn't I say that tonight?

I said that. Oh shit. Wow. Yeah, I was like, I hope she doesn't tumble out of control. I love that somebody sees me. Well, because you're so funny, you're interesting to talk to. And then at the end, you're like, are we done?

I turn into a cunt. Not a cunt. I think there's at the end, you're like, are we done? I turned into a gun. Not a cut. I think there's something inside of you that feels like, and what I want to let the fans know that I didn't like it to. Oh, yeah, like I agree with you. Hey, I can be better than this. You're fucking great. This is a great show. I'm glad you came on. Thank you. And I will see you next time. You guys are the best fans of the world. Danny, what do you got?

Follow me on Instagram at Danny breath and come to Comedy at Verve the third Thursday of every month. And what do you got? It's Maxi. Just Max Marcus comedy and all the social media. Joe, what do you have besides a hot wife? The cheese show is back with both of us on YouTube. Just search cheese show. You guys are a la historia de la gente. Si es la gente que se les gusta, me gusta suscribir y comentar. Y nos vemos en el próximo mes. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras te esperan.

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