Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Boring Bourdain

Episode Date: October 6, 2014

Robert is joined by Dan Soder, Joe List, Will Sylvince and Chris Scopo.  RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo dragón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las leajoles historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Pues al día.

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Where first place takes home 10 grand. All right, so head to draftkings.com now. And enter code Kelly KELY to play for free. DraftKings Kings dot com bigger events bigger winners and bigger millionaires and to Kelly for free entry now at draft Kings dot com that's draft Kings dot com make sure you go to right cast dot com just hit a wire make sure to right cast dot com check out all the amazing podcast that we put up there for free for you for your enjoyment.

Arraycast.com, we have holy shit shows, unbelievable. Some of my favorite podcasts on the internet are on our network. And make sure you go to our page and use the Amazon link. If you're going to buy anything, that new iPhone case, you're going to buy anything electronic, you can buy groceries, you can buy fucking fly fishing, you're not gonna boat off of Amazon.com, do it through our link on a riot cast, Robert Kelly, YKWD, there's a link right there, click it, bookmark it, and anytime you mind something off of Amazon, use our link, and there you go, we're good to go. And make sure what's the other one? Tweak.com, yeah, Tweak, you get a microphone in front of you, what are you whispering?

Yeah, I'm a little wife, I'm just putting that one. Why are you looking at, what are you doing, Will? Why are you freaking me out? Tweet audio yeah, yeah, tweak to get a microphone in front where you whisper Why are you looking at what are you doing will why are you freaking me out? Looking at you messing up. I'm not I haven't messed up. Oh, I did get a Tweet and sponsor you can't remember the damn thing. I didn't I didn't study yet I can you say fucked up, but I didn't do it yet. I looked over I was about to do tweet I got a tweet today that someone wanted it will to read the ads All right, let's go give him the fucking ad. Go ahead and do it Yes, that's how they fight I do that for fans. Yeah, go ahead Well, stop. Well, well, well, well, you remember the twig dodieo do the twig dodieo one first

Go ahead fan. Go ahead and fucking professional. Yeah professional yeah, well you been on enough to tweak audio tweet audio Where we had the best audio headphones ever hey? You want to hear music and high-deaf you want to hear your girlfriend Talk to you on the phone and high-deaf get tweet audio phones what the phones no they stay do everything tweet audio What do you mean phones tweet audio phones what is a phone, they do everything. Tweet audio. What do you mean phones? Tweet audio phones? What is a phone? Tweet audio. Do you know about Tweet audio? I, yes, they're sponsoring my podcast. Yeah, Tweet audio.

That's what they do. But you said Tweet audio phones. They don't do that. I said they, I didn't say that. You said Tweet audio phones. I can replay it. Hey, Bobby. Yeah. Do you need me to start booking the show? This is Yikes All right, go ahead read the next one Intro this news are winning huge cash prizes every week at draft Kings dot com

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What's 10,000 grand? I thought Daz was gonna be out of speed with it. 10,000 was gonna be next. Joe goes it's a million. Joe's so smart, he did the math for a math joke we know call to call to action no you don't read that you don't read that part have you ever read an ad before all right you're gonna do it no you're gonna go ahead yep nope go head to drabkins dot com now enter code-L-Y, and not to Kelly that left, but the Kelly that's still here to play for free.

DraftKings.com, big events, big of winnings, big of millionaires, enter Kelly for free. What? Enter Kelly for free. I'm sorry, what is it? What? You know I can't say that word yet. You know I can't say. Just add an art. And the Kelly for F-R-E-E-E-H-R-E-R-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D- I try to keep it like a comic-can. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down.

And sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's intense. It's Robert Kelly. You know what? You know what? You know what? It's not Robert's no direction. But I love doing it.

You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what?

You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? Yeah, yeah, yeah Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Look at I got both seats next to me open no Kelly no soda. This is delightful. Yeah, not that I don't you have soda, but you have tea See what I did there. I thought it was kind of funny. I thought mine was kind of fun as you because you had soda Oh, I don't even get it. I don't think anyone got it, which is the trademark of a good joke Nobody gets it is that what they tell you at the Creek in the cave. This is the least amount of the Creek the cave I don't know. What do you play? Well, I got a lot of spots at the Comedy Cellar this week. At Boone's bookstore. You do all these arts. Why do you have all these art spots? Yeah, we go to bookstores. It's odd.

Yeah, black people have parks. Yeah, black people, the rate of Sally's hairdresser. of Sally's hairdresser. Hair style. All right. So, if you haven't noticed, Will's back. She will. Ah, by popular demand. People love Will in the show. Is that true?

Too much. You've got to be kidding. They love them. Wow. They love Will. I love Will. No offense. No offense.

I did a book store recently in Brooklyn on a Friday night. Was that loud? And about why people do crazy places? Do shows and bookstores. Was it a good show? No. I could tell that it would be a good show. This particular night was like two people.

They had to be quiet the whole time. That's pretty good. We're off and running. Yeah, we're off and, well, not really running. Hey, Kelly's dead. She's gone. She's not dead. She's just in another country.

I heard she died. She did not die Her plane went down, but she lived she floated. Yes, she Wow guys, let's give it up for Chris Kebos first good joke I didn't even hear it. She said she floated. I don't get it. I didn't either I just wanted to give him something really wasn't that funny, but you gave it a Oh, you pulled the Kelly on me. All right, so here's a deal everybody We have will still Vince to my left. What's up? We have Chris Gopo is off the producers table off the video He is sitting in on the show now. She has taken Kelly's chair And put way less pressure

Kelly's chair and put way less pressure I'm gonna fucking do that joke and then we have over to the right the truth yeah dog In the next to me. No Kelly no soda. We got soda on his way, but he's late very late coming from the Bronx Which was a little weird now? Why is it coming from the Bronx? He's probably shooting a movie. He's probably got a four-picture deal with Sony a Warner brother I don't do four picture deals anymore. It's 1932 Whatever I want to give you a four-pitch a deal kid. You got a full picture Instagram deal Bobby I was just on Wow, I wish I talked over that I was just at the Fox studios in LA Hollywood took a meeting really I'm gonna Instagram me a lot out there Joe

I love the Instagram. If you're not following me on Instagram. You're a fucking big old douche What's your what's it? What is it at Joe Jolus comedy? I'm killing it. I want to award. How many pictures follows again? I got about 1600 bro, but can I ask a question? You got an award for Instagram where at the Creek Awards? Oh, okay. I also won Best Writer. If you gun me again, I swear to God I'm ending the show forever. Anyways, I was in Hollywood. I took a meeting. That's great. Is that your first meeting? No, I took one here, but New York doesn't count. Give me a break. Yeah. Hollywood, baby. How will you do the Simpsons? I snuck off and went on my own little tour. Really? I don't think I did it right. I was there in the meeting and they're like,

oh, it's good to meet you. I was like, this is unbelievable. Can you believe it? The Simpsons? Yeah, you shouldn't do that. Yeah, that's crazy. Fucking fan. And that was the meeting. How was the meeting? It was okay. I made a laugh. It was a gay guy and a woman, of course. That's what that's all you're area right there.

Gay guys and women. Yeah. That's why I knew how to please. So, so, so, so, so, no deals yet. What happened with the meeting? Who sent you out there? I just asked him the same thing. I went to do the same exact thing.

Yeah, I know, but I did it better. I went to do the same exact thing. Yeah, I know but I did it better I went to do comics unleashed great. Oh my god big show We're gonna get to that after let's just move on all my dates. They canceled you have comments I'm doing it they changed my date your jerks. They flew you out there and canceled you didn't fly me out I flew myself. Oh my god myself up, I flew myself out. Oh my God. Myself out. I spent 800 bucks. Oh my God.

But I got a mean, fox meeting out of it. Lasted almost a double digit amount of minutes. How long did it last? I'm saying. Now you can't include the waiting in the hallway part. Four minutes. That was about eight minutes. But I got to, I walked around.

It was so exciting. Fox, baby. baby flying back out again The police are there least played for your hotel. They didn't put hotel. I stayed in a couch A wet one with springs on it who'd you stay with? See with my buddy Chris Walsh, you know the Walsh brothers Bobby. You've spent time with the last person Yeah, I I met them years ago They're from Boston Chris move over this way. You. You're right in the way of the camera. What is this way?

That's forward. No, towards me. It is. Yeah, moved after you go. How's that? You're going to get out of the way of the camera. We're going to fix these cameras. I moved the camera, and we didn't check the other one.

Anyways, that's great, man. That's awesome. Let me just real quick before we get into the show. We got Adrian over here. Who's on camera right now and For all you interns If you want to know who who got the intern slot, it wasn't them

It was him right there deep who's right there say hi deep who who do poo? Everybody You you made that you got it you're here. Yeah, man really excited to be here. Uh, we're excited to have you I mean not all of us Joe didn't really want you but listen yeah, Joe didn't want you. Everybody wanted Shannon. Well, he's your Give me a two. Oh, yeah, I didn't Shannon. I wanted the guy with the fat neck You already had Damn great. Yeah, the weird nerd kid with the neck that looks swollen. You already have the guy with the fat neck He runs the show. Oh, let's go. next notch fat. No meat. Oh, shit. That was a double jello. That was a double fucking

right back at your ping pong joke. That was fun. Hey, I think I love Dan. He'd be English great, but he didn't know how to like I asked him a question about like what are you gonna bring like to the show? Do you know how to do this? So that and he was like nah, not really. I was like, all right. Well, you can lie to me. I would have never known But I was I was so you didn't do that competition last year because I never would have made the oh my god No, if I had a common sense contest you'd fucking lose First round. Yeah, but look at her now though. You see when you get people chance I just yelled at him before the show there was chairs in here

From the other room and instead of putting them back in the other room. He put them in the hallway I go why why I did that because I was like all right if I put them over there I'll get you I might get yelled at for that. So I was like I'll ask Bobby why do but why would you know you didn't ask me to do I was I told you I put them in the hallway. Why would you put them in the hallway if they came from the other room? I wasn't positive. They can I love where did you think they come if they came from the other room? I wasn't positive, they came to me. I love it. Where did you think they come from? I really didn't know,

because I didn't remember them being over there. I love white on white corn. Yeah, it's like this. This is white on white corn. We argue for a little bit. Don't even raise our voices. Then we move on. Very passive-aggressive.

You know what else Goho didn't do? Notice me eating a croissant in the bathroom. What bathroom? This one over here. You're not supposed to eat in this fucking house. Yeah, I know. No one noticed. I gotta clean it. No, we just did. I gotta clean the crumbs up now, dude. Dude, listen, it's not about... He ate the crumbs off the floor. He's very clean. I ate over the toilet on my knees. They went into the toilet bowl and I flushed him. Yeah, he was actually a little girl. He needs crumbs. I hadn't eaten at all. Listen, you can't eat it here. No one would have noticed. Yeah, but was like, he needs crums. He needs crumbs. I had an eaten at all. Listen, you can't eat here.

No one would have noticed. Yeah, but we did now. I'm just kidding, I didn't do that. Yes, he did, I saw you brought the croissant. I'm a snitch. I would. You get stitches for that. I started on a t-shirt one time.

An African American was wearing it, it was really big. He was covering his butt because it's tight for his knees. Every listening, you can hear a deep pull laughing now. I can't wait until those laughs die in three weeks. He's finally just sitting here like Chris. He's taking over the Kelly laugh. What's the Kelly laugh? Now Kelly just would laugh at anything. Yeah. He's taking over the left. Ooh, the shot, the first shot of Bethlehem. That was a big blow. That was a very quick shot though. Thatler. Deep Who goes on the offensive very quick. That wasn't a shot though, just that one. That was true. Not a true.

You caught him a girl with big titties, man. Yeah, you caught him a show and girl with big titties that has a food problem. He likes to suck guys off when she's on a depressed, do you like doing that? No, well I haven't tried it so I don't know. Ooh, I like his retort. It was like I'll take it and bounce it off you.

Bobby learned a new word. Hi. Not bad. Bobby learned a new word, damn it. At least I'll take it and bounce it off you. Bobby learned a new word. Hi. Not bad. Bobby learned a new word, dammit. At least I can say it. Retort, I can say, retort. Say free. You sound retorted.

You sound retorted. Retorted. We heard you. Yeah, we heard you. Retorted. Yeah, we heard you. Retort us in the hair. I, um, okay, so that was pretty amazing that you went and you had your meeting now

What it's big meeting? That's not a big meeting. It's a meeting. She saw me at the show. What show? I did a show blind barber You ever hear of it? It's another another white spot. It's in a barber shop. No, there's no It's just like a barber right? That sounds like a black spot and then it's an email black spot and then it's an email Because they're dumb enough to get their hair cut by blind people Well that got weird Where's the bomb band there? I know it was a hangy sheath. It's a band-anner. Stop saying hangy sheath So anyway, it's not spelled hangy sheath not sheath

It's spelled a hanky she it's not spelled it spelled a Henga chief not chief The word the Tangerchief, but she is in the world. Right? Depot Depot. What is it? Proud hanker chief no, no, no, no, no, it's in the word. Yes, no chief. Yeah, the word chief is Thank you. Thank you. Hanky chief. That doesn't matter. You're supposed to say she's First of all, it's chief. I might not know you weren't in a spell Maybe champion. Okay. I'm sure I thought I'd leave any Get one call with your Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Are you are medication? You can't help he might be from New Delhi or

Indian pack it. Speaking of new delis. They have a new deli right around the corner. I was thinking to get Place over there. Yeah, but he's not new. It's the one that was across the street Yeah, they go across the street. I set them up and Bobby nudges them a little bit You are the dumbest human being I know you it's not new though. It's not it's new But it's the same place the same exact new location. It's just but it's not new It's a brand new place though because it's not new. It's the same exact food. What will next the pixel? Yes, but it's not new it's a brand new place though because it's not new It's the same exact food what will next the pixel. Yes, yes But it's a it's the place that was across the street. There's nothing new about it Do you hear this sound that's coming for you? It's not a new chef

I went in there because no, but yeah, I follow street I go in there to get food all the time and they I know that they just moved across the street because the rent got so high in the other building that wreckage store used to be there which closed. They took over that. It was supposed to be a froyo place and that fucking that didn't make it. So they moved just moved across street. That's it. They're going to go deal. I want to know what restaurants you don't know about. So they moved just moved across the street, that's it, they're gonna go deal. I wanna know what restaurants you don't know about.

Well speaking of restaurants, I'm gonna explain this to you guys. We went to, I went to Denmark, as you know. Oh nice, was that before or after, Blind Barber? What? It was terrible, but it's funny. What are you talking about? I'm talking about my fucking Blind Barber story, dog.

All right, all right, listen, I'm sorry. I'm gonna get a show on Fox. Okay, right, all right. Listen. I'm sorry. I'm gonna gonna show on Fox Okay, hang on you're gonna have it. You know what dude on Fox. All right, listen. I'm sorry You're absolutely right. You make a good point. I blew over your story. I guess you don't want to be on Fox dog Listen, I'm already on Fox dummy What do you want my show that would he does anybody listen to me? Listen to me No, it's just Fox Fox. Oh, yeah, it's on Fox. Well, it's not on Fox. It's affects But affects his fox is a obsiderary. There's a big difference

Going this is how stupid I am I said it and I looked at deep who right away Anyway, I'm so sorry What say free Wow We got two stars what say free Wow Everybody here's You say it go ahead do pee up do pee that's it. Yeah, that's his name do poo Deepo is not that funny now we got two stories. No, here's what I just want you know The emails I'm gonna get is fuck him and his laugh

So I'm just gonna say that but but you're gonna have to take it because if you, I don't wanna kill your laughter. If you think this stuff's funny, you laugh. Yeah, that's always been my policy. I do that at OpenMikes and I'll do that here. Okay, great. I don't know what that, was that like a public service announcement?

I don't know. Announcement? I got an idea. I was fucking an announcement. I thought I was done with fucking subsidiaries, upsideraries. I got an idea. It's an obsidian knife. We both tell us stories the same time one sentence at a time

We alternate. All right, go ahead. It's a barber shop. Let's go You walk into the barber shop and then I went to Denmark to do this Denmark comedy festival then is the door and it opens up into this big bar I flew in with Ari Schaffer who was also on the show everyone there It feels like a like a hell gig, but they're all on the email list. They've been invited. There was two other guys, one from Iceland

and the other guy was from Denmark. And then they flew in a guy from South Africa and then he got replaced by a guy from Ireland. So it was a little nervous, the president of Fox was there and Matt Groening. Definitely, it was an international comedy festival in Denmark, the first one ever, and it was a blast. The place is amazing.

Matt Groening said, we want you to develop a show with your best friend. And I woke up, I love they have great bread in Denmark. Oh, they invented butter. That reminds me of the Kissant I had in the bathroom. So I said, why don't we have you? You know what dude on Fox? So I said to the guy, I was like, you know, I don't know why the place is in filling up. Maybe the theater is too big for us.

Then the guy I wanted to do the show with was a big cut and tried to interrupt my story and just move on to his own dumb Denmark story. And then, I was listening to, I heard on the grapevine while I was in Denmark, that Joe had a meeting four minutes long that, and then they gave him a pass to the amusement park. And then they gave him a pass to the amusement park. And then they gave him a pass to the amusement park. Who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets,

who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets, who gets,, Joe, who gets canceled off a fucking off of the Byron Allen comedy show at three in the morning? That's impossible to get rescheduled. Who do they bump you for? Huh? Lucille Ball? What the fuck? Good thing by Bobby. However, Bobby in the middle of his thing, it's it is realized that Bobby thinks that Fox has an amusement park at their studios. I know I know it's universal. I just threw that in there, but most people don't know that. It was still funny. It was still funny.

It was. It was still funny. And I retort wasn't good. Can you is that right? Yeah. We get as deep as everything on spelling. So yeah, so you done? Did you get a deal?

Let's just get through this. I don't know. I'm waiting to hear back. From who? The woman and the gay guy. I don't think he's going to be like being called gay guy. He will not listen to this. You'll be surprised. There was a young man who had a show on TV and he did this show and said some stuff about that and then I got to call that afternoon that a fan from the show actually fucking said

something on Twitter to that person and they called up and someone got fired and someone got yelled at and then blah blah blah blah and those contracts and I had to delete a little portion of this show to save somebody's fucking marriage job and life. Was that was it me? No, I'm gonna email this whole show to A by F Fox. Yeah, they're not gonna be able to read it. Luckily it wasn't actually Fox. No, it was USA. Did you really have a meeting? I had a meeting dog. Was it fun? It was great. Who would you go in with? I can't remember her. I can't say her name. What company? Fox. You just say USA. You lie man. It was Fox. So let me ask you a question. You saw my set at Blind Barber and was like, I got to meet

this guy. Is that car? I got to your haircut. I think it's a haircut. Is that really what happened? Yeah, bro. So you do a whiz blind barber. Where it would place in Brooklyn. Culver city. Culver city. It's in Los Angeles. Okay, so you do a set of Culver city, you kill it.

Kill. Okay, and then you're out there for the Byron Allen show. I get fired. You get fired off the Byron Allen show. Right. And then you do this other side show just uh... fuck around yeah to some time in this lady c's you want to meet you immediately she said it was a general meeting like i'm the general

you know you know you know that those are great meeting general meeting it's basically you know it's not that that's not why it's now it's a lot of former meeting actually no i think general's high now they call it a meet and greet it's just she says a four star general meeting no she did not say that She never used the word four star first of all there's only there's not really that many four star general towel chicken what Tau

He's Indian food that's Chinese food you fucking asshole So I'm not gonna get a show and fun listen. I want to ask you some questions all right So you go into the meeting who do you go with? No, you you drove in by yourself. Yeah. No shit Right in the blue yourself out there. I got a visit I walked around the Fox studios. I want to do a movie set really they kicked me out a couple times Really really long. Yeah, so you go in the you go into the meeting you waiting around and you go and then what happens? I go in the thing they got all the posters family guys Simpson the movies right 20th Century Fox we know you know I get it the Godfather the business to can you move on and just answer the question you are not in the

Business you are in the business these guys are not in the business will maybe will is will is own business. I sprint to Fox. I had meetings of Fox. So, you go in and you're in a waiting room and then she brings you in. I was wearing a Boston Bruins t-shirt. Okay. Is that bad? No. She brings you in. It brings me in.

And who's there? I meet a big gay fellow. I would avoid saying that again. I would say just a guy. But he was a big gay fellow. How do you know he's gay? He was gay. Wow. He was gay. Wow

Hello, good to meet you a last straight guy Kelly said hello like there sometimes who's Kelly Bob a Kelly No, I don't do that. Yes, I do not Should I not say that I don't think it's gonna listen to this podcast. Hi Dan. Well, you know, I wouldn't say that. If you, you know, when, especially, because people don't like to be, you know, you just met a guy, you know what I mean? Yeah, but I mean, what?

All right, if he said, yeah, we met with this guy and he was handsome and nice and funny, I wouldn't be mad. Yeah, but you know how handsome? Yeah, but you should be upset if someone call you handsome. Why? Why if someone called Joe this handsome, he should be mad why are there jealous? He's not about what I had a big meeting at Fox when I was in LA big meeting huge reading. Yeah It was a big gay guy and a woman. Oh, yeah, that's fine. Yeah, it was big Yeah, but he's calling the guy keeps referring there in this big gay guy. Was he like how gay was he? Was he like hey Joe? he was he like hey Joe

He was like that and he was very big. Yeah, then I mean I think that's fine. I make fat or big shredded big strong He was handsome. Oh wait big strong. Yeah big. I don't know if he's like a bear like a bear kind of guy No, it wasn't a bear who's clean shit very handsome. Was he me gay? No, he was attractive. Whoa Why do I gonna take a hit he was handsome and proportionate you don't think I go to take a hit? He was handsome and proportionate. You don't think I'm attractive. I do a little bit. What do you mean a little bit? Like in that headshot with the Kaggle hat. No, I'm fucking 89. If you was gay, would you kick it to Garbava Kelly? Yes. I am not into that kind of body. Look at me. Look at me. I like your lips. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me look at me look at me look at me look at me look at me and dimples look at me Look at me. Yes, look at me. I want you looking me really look at me look at me

I just make it you think that I'm not looking at stop talking. I'm looking me look at me. Yes, look at me Yeah, you wouldn't you wouldn't fucking be attracted to me. No look at me. Look at me. Joey No, look at me. Look at me. Joey. I'm not sure if anybody here except for one person. Joey, look at me. Hold on, hold on. Look at me right now. Look at me right now. Yeah. You, you wouldn't be attracted to me. First of all, yeah, stop pouting. Yeah. Yeah. Any more, any more eyebrows. You do have my breast size. Fuck you. Me, my eyebrows. You weren't giving them enough eyebrow. You weren't giving them all mouth. Who would you go have much eyebrows to you have much I boss to work with I want to do this right now? Who would you fuck first in this room?

Have to gun to my head. We all know we stand first. We don't know that gun to my head. Gandhi head. All right My it might be scopo just cuz the big ass. Yeah There you go. See you fucking you you self you you shop a steam stinks everyone loves Dan though But he's now Dan would not be my first now. I'll tell you who I'd go with first you ready? I bet you go will are you are you banging will banging them or they are fucking you? I'm you We're fucking yeah, we're fucking yeah, we're not gay. We're fucking. We're just fucking each other like it's a man

I'm okay like it's a mutual. I'm fuck you, you fuck me, nobody's too silly about it. No one's catching feelings. Yeah, no one's catching feelings. We're rolling in, we're rolling out. So we ain't looking at each other's eyes. No, no, no. What the fuck's wrong with you?

Yeah, that's good. Fucking Christ, man. You guys gonna take shit too far. Fucking jerk up. I would go, I would go Joe list. Thank you. Right? Yeah, really?

Well, he's got a nice body. I do have a nice body here. And I think I like that arm here is kind of blonde. I've been working out. Yeah, and he's got a big piece. Then I'd take a little taste to will. I'd get a little taste. Alabama black snake.

I get a little taste to that. You know? Black snake moan. But I would only bang will in like the fall. I don't want to do them in the summer because I know he's riding around a bite you probably stinks And then in the winters too ashy You know what I mean? I don't want to mess around with a fucking like a chalk dick not Not such this dick though. It's all but hole. Well, why is that nice dude? I'm fucking grabbing you dare if we're fucking

I'm gonna grab that piece. Oh Careful my little grab too. I think scopos a great winner piece. I don't know You know what yeah, oh you could probably to me yeah, you dick you know Pull down his juicy sweatpants Because so does the sweetest in the group do we be like are we gonna do this? Do's voices so no so do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do right now. So though, so though, let me just say free. Say free. I don't know. Just say free. I think it was the one stage like that.

He was saying no guys. I think you're up for Dan Solo. And he's saying, yeah, he ain't my client. And by the way, Dan Solo, three development deals that I've never heard because. I'm supposed to. That's Fox. I got one. What?

Yeah. Did you really? Fuck yeah, Doug. Or to Blind Barber. You missed the beginning. He did not. He went. He had a general meaning.

General. No, not that. I'm the general. He did not, he went, he had a general meeting. General meeting. No, not that, he did. I'm the general of Fox now. He had a meet and greet. I met with the general of Fox. He did his first meet and greet. I met with the general of Fox. Somebody like me.

Some lady saw him at a fucking side show. Blind Barber. The Blind Barber. She said I'd love to meet with you. She set it up. He went down to Fox, went into the meeting. And now we were actually hoping you were better off But well you showed here's the thing is you show up with the people who don't know what these are people listening

Please tell me and depot and fucking Adrian and Chris copo and will I've been to many meetings. I've been way to way more meetings than Joe. What do you where have you been? Way more Way more meetings. I got What do you where have you been way more Way more meetings. I got to his in your head. You got to get out here fine You're gonna slow block. No So what you do is these people will see you and you go in is called a meet and greet and You when you first go to LA you first get in the business you first get an agent They like to send you these meet and greets where you go in and you meet because these general, these studios heads, they cleanse themselves a lot. Like people move on a lot in this business. So it's always good to go in and meet who's in charge

in this and that now. So you'll go in and you'll you'll do sit down, how you doing, and some, look, in the past, I believe people have gone in and done so good at these meetings that yeah, we gotta do a show around this person. And you get a deal and they do a show. Most of the time, it's just, yeah, that went well. They like you and they'll cast you in something or they'll put, they'll think you in the future.

Keep you in the radar. It's a great thing to do to meet these people. And then, you know, you never know what happens down the road. Oh, Robert, remember? So it's good that to meet these people. And then, you know, you never know what happens down the road. Oh, Robert, remember? And so it's good that you remember these people, but I don't know if you're gonna get a deal out of a show. You just made them say.

You just shattered his dreams. No, that's no joke. That's for when you bomb. You don't use the feteers. You know what, I don't even like Fox. What? What? Yeah, I don't care for the show. What do you mean?

What do you mean? I think it's great, you what do you think it's a great they want to be with me let's do it look you really would just corporate your way right over jose fucking back uh... but it's good to meet them because you never know you know what's wrong he's acting right now he's trying to add up with him uh... drama gay gone fox

i thought she was the general of the channel she's not there's no, it's not the military. The CEOs, there's the president, and... It's insane. Who did I meet? You met the head of something. You met the janitor. You met a girl who's the head of something.

Who can probably do something for you. And probably what? In the future. In the future. You're gonna work her way up and then she's gonna remember you. Mm-hmm. I like bipolar showbiz Joe. It's a tough business, you know. Yeah.

Yeah. It really is. Well, I mentioned all your names to people, no, not you, Scopo. The guy in Denmark, I dropped all your names, especially Will. I, Multicultural Show. names, especially Will I Yeah, no, I told the guy about you guys. I Denmark. You've been out of the country. I've been a Dublin in Mexico and Canada

Dublin to see you say Mexico you mean yeah, but that was I can't say Ireland because I didn't go really you say mexico Phoenix. No, I lived in Tucson Have you been out of the country? Will yes, where have you been from hey? Are you serious? Are you serious? I don't know where you've been Oh, here we go. No, I'm lying. I'm not serious. We'll go. We'll go around the world. All right. Here we go Where would miss a with me? Hey, yeah, those don't count first of all these are all within eight miles. No, no count Okay, okay I'm not talking about where you went for vacation and you at home and then from you to on vacation

Ever in my life. I never took a flight to just relax. I should start right now I'm into England. I'm into Holland. I've been to Australia. I'm into China. Okay Holland I've been to Australia I went to China I've been to Africa I've been to Australia Australia yep New Zealand I've been to Yes, I'm sure that's really not to hold on to the country Yeah, they're not even close to the country. That's the one next to it. That's the one next to it Because they it's the Queen's Australia next to it. That's the one next to it. I bring to you about.

Because they're the Queen's Australia. Ireland? Ireland? What is it? Ireland. Stop. Stop. Everybody.

Honestly, it's saying it like the Irish people say, hang on, one second. Where have you been? Do you look at me and you say this word. You can do it. You can do it. Ireland. No, it's not. No, Ireland does not live there.

You say it. I say I. Ireland. Ireland. Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er...Er... I bet to I a land I Think I made it better. It's like rebuk breaking a bone. You have to set it and then have it heal Snap it. What about Joe? Where have you been? I've been to in order? America Canada you can't account America. It's I was a bad country. It's a country. Okay, go ahead America Canada. I rack Kuwait, Germany, Norway, Peru, and Aruba. In order of alphabetical order, because you messed up. Well, Aruba would be second, behind America. I am, well, first of of all we have some fans, WIQW fans in Denmark and two of them came from Norway. I've been in Norway.

Do you remember the two fans in Denmark? No there's more than two fans. It was two that came from Norway. It's one of them was sick, kid. It was an amazing, Denmark is beautiful. I've been to all those places to Amsterdam, but it's beautiful man It's it's so you they have buildings older than this country You're having lunch in a place or having coffee in a building that's older than America. It's it's like holy shit

Every place around there is amazing all the food is amazing and it's what are you laughing? What the fuck are you laughing at? I think you're laughing because I was listening like this. Hold on, why are you attacking his laugh, man? I, because he's gonna be a fucking laughing the food. No, but I get it, because Bobby's like, he sounded like a fucking insane person. And then he mentioned food, that's it.

You couldn't see. I don't understand, I didn't know what he was doing I was just laughing out of his mind Okay, let me try it again. Hey, what are you fuck you in a movie? This would have been like when the mob boss kills one of his guys. He's like, why are you laughing? It's funny and then he kills him. That was good. Okay. I'll shut up I actually want to give him a plane ticket. How'd he know? Out of the con.

Oh, that'd be fun. I was talking about traveling. Anyways, so I was with Ari Schaffer, who is fucking awesome. He is funny. He's one of my favorite people on the fucking planet. He's funny. Very funny. And we did a show over there with another guy named Harry a guy named Vladimir Vladimir actually

local comic from there and then Northern Norway working flat a less and then I like the attempt so that was great man great time. I want to go into Noma Do you know what Noma is? Yo, it's the building. No, that's Noma. Oh Noma is the best restaurant in the world. Wow I don't know I would like to hear that Three three Fucking Joe's reaction three three years in a row. It's been voted number one restaurant in my world

Huh, I get no not zag it you Watch the slurs scopo Michelin rated Michelin star. Yeah, it's a Michelin star restaurant. It's it's just what kind of food? It's it's I don't know what they would call it. It's it's a three hour meal. Would you be a three hour meal? It's a three hour meal and it's uh it's uh Would the hell it's in law? Well, it's very strong

Fuck you It's uh It's it's very small portions, but it's like 27 courses. Jesus! 27 courses? Very, very small, like very small dishes, and then they get bigger in the middle. Commonly? They just keep coming.

No, never get too big. But they just keep coming over three hours. And it's impossible to get a seat there. It's a three-month waiting list. How did you guys? Well, he put in two months ago impossible to get a seat there. It's a three month waiting list. How did you guys? Well, he put in two months ago, he put a reservation in. Who did Ari?

Ari. That's a real Ari shit too. Oh yeah, it's totally him. And then he told me about it. So we stopped by and said, look, we're in town. The guy Thomas, we run to the festival, I was like, they're in town, they're here, they're doing a comedy show.

So if you get a cancellation, please call them. They did. Wow. Wait, he owed a three months and didn't even get a cancellation, please call them. They did. Wow. They said he owed it three months and didn't even get a reservation? You don't. You don't get reservations. They have billionaires flying in private jets to go to this restaurant. You just don't get in.

There's 12 tables. There's 57 chefs to 44 customers. How do they make money? They don't. But all the money they make just goes back into itself. I mean, the building is massive, but only a small percentage of it is for customers. They do two sittings a day. It's fucking nuts.

You want to Google it? A YouTube, Noma? The dishes are fucking amazing. The first thing we got was a... What's the phone? Is that? Yeah, what is that? It's a whale. Yeah.

Turn your phone off, you jackass. Um... I thought somebody was whistling out the window. He does. No, but it's strong cold back. Kelly's outside. Guys! There's your problem!

Can I go, can you let me out, please? This is what I forgot. This is why I would fuck Dan because he could do a female voice and you ain't got think you're fucking a dude That's really funny. It takes the fun out of it. I'd fuck you and make you go free. Let me say the word free every free So I'm on the website. You want to get up. Yeah, so anyways So you you eat I can't you're gorgeous. It's unbelievable. Like the first thing they bring out was reindeer moss. Ooh, I love it.

What? I love ring-dinges. Now reindeer. Oh, reindeer. Rang-deer moss. I think it said reindeer. Wow. That's the group.

So they bring out this dish. It literally looks like something you'd get. That's it, yeah. Type in reindeer moss, moss, noma. Type that in. Get your phone back. I had reindeer when I was in Norway. I they don't care about the stupid photo. It's a dumb photo. No, it's not Bobby. It's a smart photo. Hang on. Use my When you get that one I can't wait to have been in the pocket. When you get it. What is that? in your pocket. When did you get it?

What is that? iPhone's, iPhone's, it's Bobby. That's how we get it? The original size one. Yeah. Well, that's what middleos should get. Oh. Somebody who needs this because they travel.

I probably, if I were nicer, I'd probably just have a headliner that doesn't draw as well. But, you know, if you want to, we're back to you. That's me. That's actually me. That's my headline. Here. Here. Use this.

It's better. Then you're a fucking dumb phone. Well, I am. I am the reindeer mouse right here. Oh, you know, the five is still good. Yeah, but you can't fucking see it. All right, show everybody. So here's the deal. Check it out, guys.

Here's the deal. They show up with this dish. This is the first dish they show up. And every dish is like that. They're in a grass. Well, they show up in the guy or the chef, the chef will actually come out of the kitchen and be like, okay, this is reindeer moss. What we did was we felt what?

I just imagine you're going to the kitchen. Are you okay with eating moss? Because that's all we got. That's just a bunch of moss and grass. Well, the guy. Thanks for waiting three months. The head chef underneath the main guy is actually from Jersey, who was like, what the fuck you guys doing? Yeah, he was actually back. He was really cool. And Irie Schaffer, if you want to swing over to his podcast, Skeptic Tank, he did a one-on-one with him later.

Wow. So anyways, the first thing they bring this over, it's fried reindeer moss on top of something It looks like you'd have in your backyard in a garden Yeah, and you I'm like oh shit you put it in your mouth and you eat it and it's fucking dude It's like you got it's the most amazing thing you've ever you like what the fuck? Yeah, the next thing that comes is steak tartar with ants. Ants?

Fried ants. And the reason why they use these... Are you serious? I'm serious. I'm serious. The reason why they use the ants, they don't want to use lemon, because most kitchens use lemon to make everything taste good. And they're not in season at this time, in Denmark, so what they did was they get these

ants and they taste like lemon. Mm-hmm. You freeze them when they're alive and then fry them. How big are they? They're a little small ants, little small ants just looks like an ant. And you're sitting there like you got to be out of your mind. You take a bite of this. It's the most amazing lemon, beautiful zesty taste. Is it red ants or black ants?

Well they're black because they fried them but I don't know what they were originally, but it was it's like amazing. So that's like every meal Everything that comes is the like it sounds like I never tasted it in my life It sounds like they're just trying to feed you weird shit And they're like I don't know. Let's put some spices on it And it's gonna pop out after was yeah, well here's it that I I did that That's why I was surprised because it came from sc's it that I liked it I did that's why I was surprised because it came from scopo and I liked it I mean it was a 20-year-old reference

but yeah it came back last year so yeah but every day like I ate ice a seaweed ice cream fucking amazing they made ice cream on a seaweed I had a Danish at the they have like at the end with the dessert dishes. They, okay, they took potatoes, Matt whipped potatoes. You're regular potatoes. What did they do with those regular potatoes? They put beetle butts in it.

Fied beetle butts. Now that fied beetle butts. With craters, murder. It tastes like pop thoughts There's real yeah, cuz Pop tosses out of us out of season and then walk at that time. So but five beat of butts tastes like pop thoughts And they put it in the potatoes. I want real Faced looking up from the studio. Where really? Beauty butts taste like pop talks. You're just a dumb person. Yeah, I know

I'm not cultured at all. Yeah, you really is it really beetle but Pop talks how do you know you just eat it? Ridiculous. It's that taste that like lemon. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I'm a scopo. Fuck you I Fuck inside of a scopo. I know it. I'm gonna get it on his show. Yeah, fuck you fucking side with scope out. I'm gonna get on his show. Yeah, fuck you What I know the general I think a fucking colonel meeting next time so so I mean that they made They took potatoes mashed potatoes whip potatoes, right? I believe this or is this

If you put jerks if you If you put you know, I didn't even know this, but if you put potatoes will take on anything. So if you put butter and salt on it, it tastes like a potato. We know. If you add cream and sugar to it, it tastes like sweet, like a dessert.

Potatoes are the slut of the food world. It's a weird thing. I didn't know that. And then they made chocolate sauce out of barley. They just took barley. And they toast to a chocolate brown. And they whipped it with cream and it made a chocolate consistency, like a chocolate cream and you're like,

you eat it and your brain says it's chocolate. It's crazy. I think you broke your sobriety. What do you barley? Barley. Your brain says it's beer dog. No time for a fuck off. I had the juice tasting in and Ari had the wine pairing.

I had the juice pairing. Can I say something? You have a microphone? Smith and Dohrl. I don't know if you can say it, but go ahead, try. I'm here. Smith and Dohrl is Smith. Smith and Dohrl is, to me, is the best restaurant in the world.

It's a restaurant in Melbourne Australia yeah, and they made they make the best food on earth ever. Okay, that's great. So anyways, we I'm back to know my the best restaurant in the fucking world. I like all of Yes, yes, they have one in Fengu, Holland Boston One of a kind that's the restaurant where the waitresses treat you like shit, right? I know. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They in. But they're not, it's not like fancy, gilded, fucking ostentatious bullshit. It's just people, dudes, right? Hey, what's up, dude?

I got that for you. Napkin, you know, they're just nice and cool. You're not napkins? It's, yeah, but it's like if you leave, the guy you would just come back and say, here's another napkin. Hey bro. It's not like you feel like shit.

You know what I mean? When you go take a shit, they say someone to wipe your ass. That's incredible. So Hey, bro, I got you we do this We go to the front around the back. We do Hey, hold your balls. Yeah, so we do this show. We I mean not to show fuck you got feel fucking razz You get me on tilt all right show. So anyways put your phone away, Will I'm on there's a way What is a I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you Joe phone jail don't fuck me up Joey jail. So anyways, we was afraid of me on the on meal number 18 number

23 you know here's the thing I knew I was gonna I could I'm not gonna make it through this fucking story But anyway, I'm gonna I'm gonna get there it's what matters that tastes like baloney. It was unbelievable Like they came up with frozen monk liver. Wow, okay and monks Monkfish They monks like no, I have that that's called they murdered monks and they took their lives What is it? Carnival it's a carnival I can't stand it

What the fuck are you having a stroke will will it will should be like the new Laurel and Hardy where there's like a dinosaur running He's like it's carnival. Come on What is it damage? What's standing behind me? What's people that eat people? Can't a battle Person who eats meat is a carnivore you're you're mixing up You're a monk you're a calm calm technically you're a stunner. Listen. Here's a deal. It's frozen. It's frozen monkfish liver. I'm kind of bored and it and you put it All right, so I know all right listen. I'm fucking bored to now you guys stink no keep going. I like it What was number 22?

At least 20 second meal. Hey, it's way through So we do the whole meal. So you're at no more. I can see a part of No, no, no. No ma. So we do the whole meal. We have the coffee and the dessert is unbelievable. The chef comes over, the head chef, who's from Jersey. And he takes us on this amazing tour of the whole facility. Do you think he did that because your comedians, American,

American comedians? I think they do that with people. I think if you wanna do it, they'll do it. I think they knew who we were. I mean, three month waiting list, they should probably treat everybody like this. They treat you, I've never been treated so good, but so nonchalant.

You know, like some fancy restaurant you've been to, it's very high end and I feel like I have, I get uncomfortable, I feel like I have to act a certain way Yeah, I don't want to get crumbs from the bread on the thing because I don't want too many crumbs in my section So I felt when I ate over the toilet earlier So he ate a fucking croissant in the toilet. He's not supposed to eat in here on my knees Over the bowl

Flushed Just eat it downstairs. I didn't want to be late because I care about the show. But Soda was like, later than you. I know, it's not as thoughtful. Oh, it was a stuck in traffic. It was not stuck in traffic. You were teaching it. It is not.

I weren't traffic because I was in traffic. There was no way you were in the traffic. I was in traffic. What highway were you on? Westside Highway. I was on that highway. Same traffic. No, there was an accident up on the highway.

OK. Whatever it was, we cut over and then we tried to come through Manhattan and that was the worst okay, who's we made my girlfriend? Where's she at she dropped me off and then went home? Why don't you just get a ride with me dummy? Yeah, cuz I wasn't near you I was it I was bringing her grandma computer where in the Bronx. Oh, okay, okay? So I can finish my fucking story on my fucking show Please will blind barber and it's just a barber shop All right, so you're on a tour oh I know the gun tour so you finished me on number 23

Okay That's not that's not the thing that you're taking from the story you fucking piece of shit so anyways we do the tour and we get the bill how much you think it costs four dollars how many people are evening just a two two on the house hold on hold on you go on the phone go on the phone go ahead go ahead it was on the house go ahead well 27 times $10 each

Are we? Norwegian money. It was American we use American let's do American money. Thank you America $2,700. She's this $2,700 are you lose on presses right here? Over I'm going. Go ahead. What are you going? I bit of a high over here. I'm going a little higher. What are you going? I'm re-changing my number. I'm going to 260.

To what? 260 dollars. Each? Oh, just for the whole thing. What do you got? I'm not just saying this. I was going to say 262. Okay.

I was going to be my answer. I feel like it's too close to it. It's not. You can take it. This price is right, baby. Okay. What do you got, Deepo? I'm thinking 330. Okay. What do you got there, Adrian?'m thinking 3.30. Okay, what do you got there, Adrian?

220. 220. You say on the house. I say yeah. You say $7,000? How much do you say? $2,700. $2,700.

Jesus. Got in the house. 260. 262. 3.30. 330. 220. 220.

$500 a piece. I was close. A piece? You weren't even near it. $500 plus $500. You were the $1000. You were the furthest away. He who said nothing was closer to you.

Then closer than you. You went over. Yeah, you went over. You done. You went thousands of dollars over. $500. You went $2,200 over. You're not admitting the discount again.

They gave you a 75% discount. They did not. $500 for every piece of food you had. $500, no, $500 for the bill. Each. And that's how they make money then. It was fucking nuts, dude. My knees wobbled and I almost teared up.

Because I thought it was gonna be around 260 maybe 250 260 something each which I could take when they when first of all they bring it over in croners so it's 5,000 something and I looked at that and I almost cried I was I was gonna if it was 5,000 dollars I would have to say I can't do this like I can't pay you this I my wife will divorce me if I pay 55,000 for me. I pay back by being one of the guys that hang out, hang out neck and yeah I would find out what a necken is and I would fucking hand them out. It's like, so I'm sure you can end up neckens. I don't know about neckens.

I am a $500 piece without tip. Is that a lot? Oh, they don't really tip over for a meal Expensive just went through it's a white $500. Why are you yelling at me because I want 27 meals someone hand him an act and someone wipe a butt. That's that's $500. I pay for that shit I would kill for will to be my Jiminy cricket You can't do that shit. What's the Jiminy cricket? You know like the conscious voice, like if you were my voice of my conscience.

That's what they call that? Well, Jiminy cricket, you ever see the note? I'm though as evil and bad, that will in the angel. That's a different take on it. $500? $300, that is your opinion. For duality take, I was going to be

Disney and Jiminy cricket take. Did you know it was going to be $500? No, there's no menu. There's not a menu. And there's no place in a place like that. There's no there's no menu You show up. Okay, you can't we weren't even supposed to get a fucking reservation. You know what I mean? I would be livid at Ari if he was like, hey, I set up this thing. It's a big deal and then they owed a $500 Listen, he didn't know either so it whacked him in the fucking kneecaps, too Wow, we both got the check and we're like Was it worth it

Well, I'll be in that. Okay, your iPhone course is saying is it worth an iPhone? It was I went to the best restaurant in the world true, and I had a fucking meal true I had a meal like I've never had before ever and you probably never will again. I will never do, I probably won't do it again. Never. And less, you know, whatever, but I probably won't do it again. And I got in, which we shouldn't have gone in. So was it worth 500 bucks? Absolutely.

Great. Thank you. Apps of fuckingly. But, like you cooked here, like thank you. Thank you. But, you know, to have that experience, apps of fuckingly, it was great too, because, you know, I took two pictures while I was there

of some of the food, but there was a point where I was like, you know, I'm just gonna, we were like, I'm just gonna put my phone away and enjoy this. Like, I don't wanna make this about, like, I got a concert with your phone out. Yeah, don't know, just be in the moment. Yeah, me and him were both like, yeah, fuck it. Let's just, uh, let's just enjoy it.

Well, he was writing down every fucking meal. So, everything that they came over. He'd be like, what was that? Can you say that again? Here this little like Colombo notebook with a piece of our Potential here on the 14th course that you used Rash hoppers. They did we are not telling me well, where were you the night these crash hoppers? Just one more thing before I leave since voices are amazing though thank you well can you do me no do the do the black voices do the African guy I can do it with

African that's not African that's not African what is it don't listen to him he doesn't he's from Haiti. That's Florida Hey, brooklyn. Yeah, he's just fucking slow. That's not even an accent His family's all from Georgia. Yeah, this comes like a he bit his tongue when he was fucking too. That's why he talks like that It's where I'm standing. Who are you? I'm his mama. Why does he talk like that? He bit his tongue. Oh, that motherfucker bit his tongue when he was a baby. Hey, Shen Tongue was one of the meals at the moment. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, you guys fuck off with that. We're going to take a little break with that last joke. When we come back, we're going to take a little piss break. Maybe a croissant eating break. croissant croissant 28 he's thinking with this what did you

just say I said croissant correct it's own dog yeah but it doesn't even make sense he's gonna be the bomb man did it yeah take that day yeah wrap it around your bicep like you know you want to look like a fucking member of the warriors All right, we're gonna be right back so everybody listening live stay tuned and you guys who are listening not live We back in fucking three seconds, so there you go Yeah Hey bro

Shut up, you're not going anywhere you will late Hey bro Shut up, you're not going anywhere you will late shut up. It doesn't matter. You were a doesn't matter What's up, we're back All right guys, so um all right, so I you know apparently No, I'ma didn't hit you the way I thought it hit you. Did you want us to be in trance? What did you want us to do? I just wanted you to like I think it's cool. I think it's really cool, man I think he's great, but once they traded him him that's when they finally won. I mean yeah look he goes to the cubs he plays what two decent seasons and they had Orlando Cabrera. I'm talking about I'm talking

about I'm talking to these bring us one of the Nackins. See I'm not bringing a Nackin. Okay AC off. Yeah go ahead turn it off. Turn it off. All right, so here's Dan you do it So it's a why all right, so here's a deal. I thought you'd be more interested in the fucking story Great. I loved it. Are you kidding? All right, trying to punch it up a little bit My 500 bucks is banana. I mean, I thought the story was terrible, but the meal sound great It wasn't a story. It was fucking just it was me talking to you guys 500 dollars is crazy. That's five times about you get paid for a comedy show Thanks for fucking yes, and in me your jerk. I didn't I was looking at sound

I'm sorry. I can't be there every second one of the three fucking Untalented retards that are here as interns I think that I think that's not the right thing to say I think retarded people have a lot more talent than these three people a lot of times there's a genius parallel with retardation I gotta say what you're checking the computer you got nine people in here I got a I got a because I run the main I run run the main board, okay? That's such a weird thing to say. Why? Because it makes you sound like, I don't know, it's like.

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I'm only kidding. You're all very nice people. I run the main board to make sure the sound, the actual show is being recorded. I got Andre over here who's actually, Adrian, Adrian. Adrian, Adrian, Adrian. Sorry, Adrian's over here.

Do you people who's supposed to be fucking watching? But apparently he's fucking enjoying his first show. Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian Adrian It's for him. Yeah. That's all right. Maybe you read about Scopo being retired. That's not even Indian force, man. Well, what is it then? The African voice isn't African. Don't move. Indian is not Indian. Deepu, is that any way close? Yeah, that's like the Dal Sim voice. Thank you very much.

And will stop getting in my head about my accents. The African's decent. The Indian's good. I'm so retarded. Yeah, you're definitely right. Yeah, and then Scopo's sitting down, being funny for the phone. He's doing stuff for the show. He has an iPhone 2S.

He got an iPhone 5. It's an iPhone 5. Well, okay, well, you know, look, here's the thing is, I had a great time in Denmark. I think you're in a beautiful place and I wanted to share that with you guys. I'm glad you did Bobby. Yeah. I mean you know maybe you should have jotted down some notes on the plane. What are you talking about? Maybe you had a three-act story or what the fuck are you talking about? I know I don't know. I just went to the best restaurant in the world. How are the shows by the way? You didn't talk about the shows at all. You went

right to the restaurant. The shows are great. They paid more than $500. Bobby broke even the show to the restaurant. The shows are great. It's a great place to do it. Denmark, they're very liberal, so they laugh at some edgy shit. The first night, it was me, this guy, Ari, Ari from Iceland, who's a very polished comedian, very funny, like Brian Regan.

You know what I mean? That type of very funny. But then you. It really does suck it. The primary thing is so much better than everybody. So much better than everybody. And then they had a guy from South Africa. He was there. He did, he did a...

Did he have no legs and like big blades as legs? I know that. Ladies and gentlemen, Oscar Posteros! He's like, he's doing live gigs. And then they switched it up for a guy named Combe. From Ireland. Combe. From Ireland.

Very funny guy. I actually did a podcast with him. It was a lot better than this one. Wow. It's just me and to say, right to someone's face. He was fucking trash. He made me for 20 fucking months. I don't know. Maybe I can do a podcast where someone actually

accurately describes their meal in an exciting way. Are you, I ain't fucking worse. The boring Anthony Bourdain. Wow. Wow. That fucking hurts. It's cold. Multiple reservations.

Oh, shut up. What the fuck you left in the paper? Oh, what? What is that? I've got a magazine in my phone pocket. I want to see that magazine. No, well, you're not going to. Why?

I know you're going to rip it or throw it. I'm not going to throw it or rip it. Oh, or do something with it. I'm not going to do any of this on the train. For what? Because I like to this on the train For what cuz I like to read on the train. Do you really? Yeah, no read your iPhone? No, no He didn't take that fucking thing. I was too scared. He's gonna get stolen

Who's gonna run at me? I'm gonna run at me. Anybody would take a run at you Fucking thin fingers Pienest fingers no then not they're called wooden puppet fingers You have Marionette fingers. I'm just're not. They're called wooden puppet fingers. You have marionette fingers. I'm just throwing you that. You know, because you hurt my feelings. Listen, the story was great. Shut up. It was it. All right? You guys don't understand,

because you eat a fucking, you eat a diner every day. Which are delicious. You don't understand, because you have no fucking culture. I have a ton of culture. You don't have culture. Joe has no fucking. I've been to Italy. I ate well in Norway That's culture all around reindeer and whale same meal. Oh

What the fuck did you say I would live in Italy you lived in Italy? How long four months? Four months I fixed the vestibus I'm going to go scum. Scum was listening at home right now. I can't see him. You already got two and one episode. He's not helping me. She is listening right now.

You know she woke up for this, too. Oh, I miss her. So anyways, it was a blast in Denmark. I had a great time with Irish affair. Unfuckable. If you don't know Irish affair, you're an asshole. What? Yeah. He's just funny.

And he's so, he's, one thing I like about him is that he will fucking take a stance on something, he doesn't give a fuck. I was wearing a matcha man shirt and he goes, do you like wrestling? And I go, yeah, he goes, it's garbage entertainment. That's like, you know what, I like that you said that, right, to my face.

Because then he and I debated wrestling. And he's, okay, I still think it's garbage entertainment. Yeah, well you can but I fucking like it. He's very opinionate Yeah, it's refreshing. Yeah, he at any point you can look over and he has a cut face on looking at you while you're talking Yeah, absolutely But I mentioned all your names too. So there you go. Maybe you guys know I'm not what are they gonna do they're gonna fly a guy who can do 10 minutes on his ass over the fucking another country But humor is very big. Yeah, you know that they love but humor in Scandinavia. No, I did not give them your name Obviously, yeah, I would you scope. Oh, do you really think I should have dropped your name? I did let him in and I'm a marathon bombing survivor. I dropped your name

I was a survivor too. You're not a survivor of any time square bombing. I was there. There was no bombing It was a fan that didn't know that we had fatality See here you see it now. He's fucking acting out now. He's doing a little character Because you gave him some self-esteem fucking eight minutes ago. Yeah, I kind of like it I like rocking the boat. Yeah, it's like watching community theater in Queens No, I'm gonna kill he's gone She how can you forget you have so much leg room? She is gone. She's fucking gone. I think she's gone. I don't think she's coming back

I got a new hairdo I saw that Facebook what color? Blonder she shaved it. She want fucking nuts I do miss her though. You look good. Why is you say you don't think she's coming back? because To go home and live with your family and not have the pressure of going to a shit waitressing job every day and the stress To have to pay bills for a shit hole wherever you fucking live and that you're gonna have to probably move again in another five months and then you know It's There's no monkey harassing you. It's all this fucking shit and then the stage time and then you know

The newness you forget the newness of the city and the newness of you know Doing this show and making friends and then it all kind of turns on you it always turns on you The this business will always come back on you a little bit, not all the way, but a little bit, where you're like, people are done with you or there's somebody else. And then you come back from that and you get something else, or you're rejuvenating, or you hang out with new people, or you move on them. But I think when you go home and you don't have that pressure, and you know, the fridge fairies back, you just open the fridge in this food there. And I think that, you can get- I was gonna try to recreate

the dinner in Denmark. I think it could be- I've got some ants in the backyard. I'm gonna put it on steak. I think it can be. Ha ha ha ha. I think it could be, I think it could be very comfortable.

And six months can turn into a year real quick. She might come back, but I mean, if I was her, I'd stay in Australia and just try to, with the knowledge you've got from here, with the skin hardening you've gotten from here, with the comedy stage and all that, go there now and be better than you were when you left. And I think they're a nicer, I really know that other countries are nicer to each other, comic wise. Yeah.

I don't know about the UK, I think they bus balls. But I mean, even in Denmark, I had to kind of pull back. Like I remember we were in the car and one of the dudes was like, I was like, shut up. And he was like, what? And he just didn't, I was like, I'm sorry. You know what I mean? Like I had to pull back a little bit. Not everybody gets the way we are with each other.

Like if I let somebody from another country listen to this podcast and when you guys disrespected my story and then listen to it. Well, it was more you disrespecting us by telling us a lackluster story. What? That was probably just like that. So they don't understand like punching up somebody else's story I smell food. Yeah, I smell food too. It's not me this time

What the fuck check the toilet someone might be eating over it Why do I smell food? It sounds like deep who farted It's like Indian food nothing. It's like Indian food. Yeah, I thought it was deep who like that though is deep who farted We're going over to we're tired side Here's a friend you guys are just upset about because I called you talentless retard This what a fat this what a fat fuck I am ready. This is what a fat fuck I am. I'm fucking you know I'm trying to maintain this fatness at least you know Fightin' white. Yeah, but I was over there and the first night we were there

I go you know because I'm such a fucking you know You know I I want to eat with you know some real Danish food some Denmark So they bring me to this place and and they order some thing off a menu that's all you can eat and it's literally a bucket of meat with gravy, some vegetables in it and they get fresh bacon and put it on the top with sour cream. Was that better than Noma? And it was really good.

It was really good. But and the French fries and rice come with it. And I'm, you know. I'm saying what's not better than Noma jeeter fuck that guy so so I do you know do you know Noma gussie paris

he's a baseball player okay good so anyways I just want to make sure you laugh for true I'm alright good you passed the first test he lives in a Manhattan beach where I was the day after my fox meeting general so anyways I'm I you know we're shooting the show coming up soon and Hatton Beach where I was the day after my Fox meeting. General. So anyways, I, you know, was shooting the show coming up soon.

And I, Which show? You know what to do? No, you know what show, sex, drugs, and rock and roll. What? You know the show. What channel's that? It's on FX.

You didn't have to, but we got a part. Yeah, Dennis Leary's new show. You're kidding, yeah. Dennis Leary wrote a, it's, It's fucking great buddy. Wow. Bobby got a part. Dennis Leary's new show. Yeah. Dennis Leary wrote a, it's his, it's fucking great buddy. Congratulations. The admiral of FX. Wow.

Dennis Leary, this is his show. He wrote, he wrote all the scripts himself and he, you know, it's, it's, it's an insane fight. I just got five of the scripts in there. Fucking, it's just a fuck fest. No, they's an insane. I just got five of the scripts and they're fucking. It's just a fuck fest. No, they're hilarious, man. There's one script that it's fucking so funny, man.

I was like, wow, it was like really hard. You ever read a script, you're like, how it's so hard to keep all these plates spinning? It's like, wow. But he called me today and I'm just about to go to therapy and I'm trying to give, I told my wife this morning, I literally called her on the way to therapy. I'm, I'm, uh, listen, we need to, I need to tighten up

because I was a little fucking off in Denmark. I need to tighten up no sugar, no grains. Let me, you know, lose some salt weight, blah, blah, so we can film. He calls me up because listen, the, the fat of the better, okay? How far did you, how far did you get? How you got to send me hard, did you get to get to? Oh, dude, I was fucking, I was like, oh my God. The fat of the better, okay

Dude I was fucking my I was like oh my god That'd be like if someone called me and they're like hey do you want to Sagarots again? I'd be like yeah, he goes the fat of the better I'm gonna be feeding you donuts on set all right. I don't give a fuck the next three months You eat whatever the fuck you want all right. I want you a fat He goes I don't want a kid dude I walked into the store the place I was just get a coffee with no sugar I was like what's that she goes let's fresh bread I go can I have one? I can eat a whole loaf fucking hot

yeah to fucking jammed a loaf of bread in my mouth with butter I'm just like a spud I got a fucking relax dude that's a shot up dude I can't the leader of FX just told you the fat of the better so you could just go oh god dude I Con volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Spectacularismos, rincones de película y un sincindia aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de madrida, murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com ¿Pero si te puedes jugar como un tipo de como como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como?

¿A lo que? Cuomo? ¿Qué quieres? ¿A la forma de ser como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo de como un tipo show you'd be like the guy you know you know dude you're not on the fucking I love when people try to say eligible bro what no you're Fag eligible really that's not a fucking good joke no really all right here I think you're frankly I think you're above that I think you're way above that I think you're an asshole I think you take I think both of you a fucking teaming up on me that's what I would we do that because you're an asshole. I think you take I think both of you a fucking team on up on me That's what I did because you have fucking like that soda What do you do like you dismissing me being on fox? I did a meeting with them. You had a fucking general meeting

Yeah, so but I can act bro What yeah? I do it do a scene right now. All right. I'm gonna. I'll give you the scenario. You ready? Okay, you What is that I'm getting, I'll give you the scenario. You ready? Right, great. Okay, you, what is that? I'm getting ready. You have to get your lips ready? I'm preparing. Are you trying to stretch them out to make them bigger

so you can say words? Tell me what's the character, give me the situation. Okay, here's a situation, right? Here's a situation. You're a rock promoter. Dan Sot is coming in off the street. He's trying to get his band into your club. You don't have the time

You don't have the money. You're under a lot of stress and you got to make that you so you're gonna make the decision I either way with you give him a shot or not, okay? Got you. All right and Roll speed and Action sir. Hi sir. Hey, I don't have the time. Sorry. I'm sorry to bother you I just mean my band are looking for a gig and we wonder if we could play here tonight. Oh look it says here. How many give the fucks I give? Okay, we're zero. I mean you could at least look at my face. I'm sorry my I don't need to see your face music isn't about face. It's about soul. All right, we got soul

We got a black guy You're hired It's not a matter. It's good. See we can get an agent in there. Well, even better. You know great would be if Will wasn't making a phone call right now He'd be like I gotta learn how to do a will I got that was pretty good I thought it was really good But anyways, I think I think you're right. I think you can add good. I think you should take another meeting I think you're right. I think you can act good. I think you should take another meeting You don't take a meeting with the general of fx. I want we do a serious one no funny right now

You just found out that your brother who was in in in in award direct the scene. Oh I'm guest directing good. Hi dance order guest director. All right. Let me turn your mic up then for this scene Joe will play a doctor Let me turn your mic up then. For this scene, Joe will play a doctor with a drinking problem, who has to tell his patient that he's got a proliferated asshole. The patient will be played by sex, drug, and rock and roll zone, Robert Kelly. Gentlemen, this seems very hard-hitting. Some have said that this could be nominated for an Emmy award.

So please, as I said, Joe's the doctor. Bobby's the patient. Yes. Bobby has a proliferated asshole. Mm-hmm. And see. Ah! Ah! I thought I was a serious scene. I got a peripheralated asshole. It's a red sock. Your butthole's outside my mouth. Yeah holes outside my assholes outside of my body I know but obviously I've numbed you by now. No, we know that we don't have no given no information

I made the choice to have it But Joe Joe can I talk to you? I wouldn't be just far away. Excuse me Dan. Dan. I can't fucking work like this I understand I'm in sag I'm an aftrop the writer's you you robber Do you remember when we did the Fawds of Memphis? Remember I took care of that joke. Don't you look good? Yeah, I told you a good yes, hey bro Listen, I know we're a long time friends and I can kind of got you this gig. Yeah, you're making me look stupid All right, I'm ready. It's a very serious. I'm ready Roberts and a lot of pain

He's really going with it. I need this. Okay, okay? Robert you okay? Yeah, okay, okay great great. Okay. Alright, speed just say one thing Joe, I'm sorry. Okay. Thanks. What I'm happy to be working with you Bobby's trying to be nice. Okay, alright, let's go back. Let's try it again. Alright pictures up Alright sounds rolling Right here we go take two Action Alright, here we go. Take two. Action. Hi Robert, I'm Dr. Flip Flops. I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I, I about a fucking guy. Hey, I didn't write the movie. I'm just fucking reading the script.

Bobby. Not my fault, my character's name is Dr. Flip Flop. He's based, he's based on a man named Hans Flip Flop. Okay, let's do it. Let's do it. Can we try one more time, please? He invented the reproliferation of assholes. Okay, let's go.

Let's go. All right, ready? Yep. Pictures up. Speed rolling. And actions. Ow. Robin. Yes, Dr. Flip Fl Yep. Pictures up. Speed rolling. And actions. Ah, ow.

Robin. Yes, Dr. Flipflop. This is... I, Dr. Flipflop. I heard you... Oh, so. You are the best at putting assholes back into bodies. I used to be the best. What happened?

I developed a drinking problem. Oh, God. I saw a rotten asshole so brown and so purple. It drove me to the bar. Well, maybe this will drive you back. What do you think of that? This is not the worst one I've ever seen which is the good news. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Ah, so oh Can you not flick it I brought I? Have to flick it ah why oh Stop it. I'll stop it. I'll stop it. I'll just it looks so much like a light switch. Oh

I have to flick it. I'm gonna stuff it back in okay. Okay. Oh Using my penis Cut you have herpes now Got listen. I didn't want you to improv that last part all right So I don't want this to turn into a day flick try to get out of that racket So I think Joe I think Joe is an amazing talent. Joe, yeah. You know what I was thinking about the other day, remember when you did the ESPN commercial with the mascot of Texas?

Yeah. You're really a great actor. Yeah, thank you. A commercial, ESPN? I did an ESPN commercial. I did a Captain Morgan commercial. He's one of the guys. I know that one.

I know that one. Yeah. I did a ESPN commercial as well. You can look it up. All right, let's do it. ESPN you. Yeah. How'd it hand it up. All right, let's do it. ESPNU had handed it's called. It's really good. What else do we get in the news?

Robyn Gohead. I listened to Howard Stern for the first time in my whole life. What? Are you kidding me? I was in LA. I had a car with what do we call it? Serious satellite. Yeah. Do you rent a car? I rent a car, Doug. How much should it cost for a week? 97 bucks. Who the fuck did, what had you call it serious satellite? Yeah, do you rent a car? I ran in the car Doug. I want you to cost for a week

97 bucks. Oh who the fuck did we had you do that fire fly? Pretty good. I went to the first place and got denied because my credit is shit firefly now come and they sent me to a firefly next door Really? Look up firefly in LA. What kind of car did you rent? It was a Chevy spark really? Yeah? Wow, what was that? So it was just RIP-ass? Joe's commercial. Yeah, I don't want to watch that right now. I was joking.

Yeah. Yeah, because we can't. The audience can't hear it. The audience? They can't. They can't. They can't. Now they can't do it.

Joe's really funny on it. We don't have, all right. Let me see it. Is it ready to go? All right. Ready? All righty. This better be funny.

Here we go. It is. I think we've looked into the app. Look fellas, we've got all students here. I don't know why we just put the flashlight down and work with stuff. How far did you think you were going to get in the 900 pound steer? He's not mine. I'm just holding it for a buddy. Where are you taking it? Oh, we're just looking for the men's room.

Are you not cops, right? It's a work study. Can we stop working and switch over to the study mode? I'll just walk out of here. So basically you're going to blow a cow in a bathroom. I don't think that's how they took it. Well it's a work study. I don't know.

I don't know. I've never seen somebody make their... I've never seen somebody blink that much. Those were Joe's blinking days. study no grown a lot i've never seen somebody blink that much those are joe's blinkin day sinnorin and lucky lewis um... anyways alright well that was a great that was pretty amazing i think you're a good actor i put you in something well you have a show some i show fucking lucky to be in the show

i agree what's waiting a minute show. It's something I show. I'm fucking lucky to be in the show. I agree. What's wait a minute. It's actually amazing. I can't believe the cast in this fucking show. Who else is on the show? John Corbett. Elizabeth Gilles. Johnny Eils. Of course Dennis. And the guy, all you know, I mean, you know, where the studio is in Brooklyn. Awesome. So you're going to be in the city. I'll be in the city. Yeah, it's filming here. Yeah, awesome. Yeah, it's great. Yeah, it's fucking great, man. I'm in shock over the whole thing. Like it's such a good like the scripts are so good and it's straight the series. It's, you know, they got picked up how many episodes? 10 episodes. That's fucking great. Yeah, it's fucking crazy. Dude. Our podcast is gonna get like hundreds of more people to listen to it I don't like that. You called it our podcast. It is dancing

Yeah, he's been here from day one almost. I didn't know I mean, you know, I was like the second incarnation Yeah, well you yeah, you were a modern day, you know, you play here you replace Joe Joe. How'd you come in? Yeah, one damn do hang out and then I told me to bring you on and then you stayed Yeah, I loved your character work. Thank you. And then you've been here ever since I brought in the likes of Joe lists I brought in Joe list to as a fan of Nate Bargazze Nate the fucking sniper Lewis kind of forces way in Yeah, Lewis. I didn't really resist a lot. Yeah, it's kind of a bully. Yeah, you were brought here by Kelly Yeah, that that's your a bully. Yeah, you brought him by Kelly. Yeah. Oh, that's your uh, she was required to bring people. Oh, he said five minutes. Where's Will? Yeah.

It's Will, five minutes though. Well, go what is happening? Maybe great if you walk down the hallway and will have a different accent. He's probably buzzing all the buzzers. Yes. Of course, I will. Yes. Go ahead. Why Why are you why are you guys talking about this? You will you're a farce I wish we was here because he covers up the Bailey J picture And she's just staring at me sexually and distracting me. Why would you sleep a Bailey? I got a big bone or right? Really would you? I just want to rub like penis against hers. Why? Like this like oh you guys want to rub sticks. Why do you want to rub you dick against somebody else's dick? It's gonna be fun Because it's silly.

Well because of her dick? I think you guys have the same type of dick. She's got that right. I've seen both. Yeah. Is that right? Yeah. I'd say Joe's a little thicker, but really?

Wow. He's a little longer. Sure dick is thick, really? It is thick, but list is, I mean, he got a chug his dick. Really? Yeah, he came out of the shower I was like Now would you like me on your TV show? It's not my show. I'm sorry. Stop it. Stop my fucking show.

Coke can list a really is it fat could you like the side? It's one of the many yeah no sir. No you're lying. Yeah, I thought that big You're lying. It's like a water bottle with a thumbprint on it. Why is it a thumbprint? I told you I messed with my fingertips in my thumb. It's got a big black bottle with a thumbprint on it. Why is it a thumbprint? I told you, I masturbate with my fingertips in my thumb. It's got to be black thumbprint on the top of it. What? What? We've never talked about this.

I just started on my podcast. Yeah, Tuesdays with Murray. Just stories. Sorry. Tuesdays with Murray. Hello, welcome back. Joe and Mark are gonna ask more questions. I masturbate with my thumb with my fingers,

so I have a permanent black thumbprint. Wait, you like a handshake? I don't understand. Why would it be permanent? Why wouldn't you do the rep? Because I have my thumb on the spot. You gotta get good grip. For years.

For 20 years. Yeah, but do you do it every day? Of course I masturbate every day. What am I? Gay? You masturbate every day? I just went my record, five days. I sound like Will.

A record. I went five days last week without masturbating, because those are all my friends. I can't, you know, now that I got a fucking kid, I was in the shower where I usually do all my masturbating. So I'm in there today, and then, you know, I'm about to, you know, I'm about to, you're plumped up.

I'm plumped up, and then my wife walks, and I have to be 10 and wash her my feet, which is hard for me, because I'm a little jubbi. You know what I mean? To hide my fucking half heart on from, she, my son, like, yeah, yeah, da, da, da, and I'm like, you know, I can't say what are you doing because she's like, what are you doing?

You know what I mean? So I just have to like, hey, there's a thing. I know, I hear this thing. I don't wanna fucking, I told her, if I'm taking a shit or I'm pissing or I'm in the shower, I don't want the kid, I just don't wanna, I don't know, I don't want you in while I'm pissing or I'm in the shower. I don't want the kid. I just don't want to, I don't know, I don't want you in while I'm doing that.

I don't like white. I would never do that. I would never come in. Yeah, my rule is this, when I'm taking a shit, you can come in at the middle, but not at the beginning and not the next. You're busy Snapchat. You know, I snapchat with you, which I have to.

I've set, that's why I stopped doing it, you know. Why? I keep going. Because I kept sending me shitting to the wrong people. how many times I tell you I did that to my girlfriend you sent you shitting to your girlfriend multiple times And I'd be like I'd be like that was for Bobby and she'd be like me and me and Bobby are sick But don't you just hit the button for like Bobby Kelly and well Sometimes you just do it and it changed a snapchat to like move the list up And then you'll just it's just so normal and you'll be like go to click and you're big. I said, there was like this girl that I used to be friends with

who's like really hot, they're following me and I did it one where I was me going, huh? Yeah. No. And then I sent it and I think we're not friends anymore. So yeah, I did one where I was grunting and then you heard a funk in the fucking

and then I hit the bidet button and what's sure and you could hear the noise when I was opening my asshole, like a dolphin haw shw, shw, why sh, you did what I called you and you're on the phone, you're like hold on, and I was like what are you doing?

I was taking a shit and snapchatting Dan. Yeah, yeah, I did it to it, and she wrote back why? Yeah, just why, like fuck you, and then I'm done, yeah, I stopped doing it, cause I don't know, it was fucking me up, I don't know. It was fucking me up, I know. You want to get your shit together,

we'll be together. I'll get it together. Now with the new iPhone. Oh, I'm excited. I can't tell you. Honestly, I just got a little bit of excitement because I can't wait to snapchat. How great is the fucking new iPhone?

I'm excited to listen to music. Yeah. It's just, you know. This is what I, I already kept telling me, pre-order, no, I don't, I'm a fucking American. I walk in and I buy the fucking phone. Is that what you did? Cause I pre-order today was delivered.

I walked in and I said, can I, do you have a phone? And he said, yes we do. And I said, I would like it please. And he fucking handed it to me. That's what I really liked about that. Right after I talked to you. Really?

Walked into Apple. You go, if you get your phone before me, I'm gonna fucking snap, dude. I got my phone That was the tech gods saying you're right. You should have a phone And I will go and I remember I told you I kept missing the FedEx delivery Yeah, which I don't even understand how that happens so the FedEx guy rings today and I'm like It's my phone and I get out of bed and I buzz and it was just some random DVD that the NFL films that works at me so I was just like, oh. Why did you get something from the NFL film film film film film film?

Because I did a show for them. When? Last year. How was it? It was just me and a hotel talking about how much I hated the Seahawks. Really? Did it ever air? Yeah, I was on the NFL that worked.

I didn't know that, that's nice. It wasn't like a mind show, I was just like a talking head on one of those shows. I like it. Yeah, it was fun. So anyways. But then I was bummed out. And then like 30 minutes later I was like, and then it was UPS and it was like this at the phone.

It's so fucking cool, the new iPhone. So thin. It's like my case in the mail too. Oh, my case is coming too. I'll do that too. Do they have a mofi yet? You don't need one with them. My phone, you don't need one one my phone's battery lasts for two days

What the fuck are you doing you mother fuck? I'm trying to downplay me because I didn't get the plus You know you can't get the plus Because your fingers are too thin they wouldn't lie they do it finger test at the store me yeah They would I hope you like your purse phone. You're not... You have to put it in your purse. You're not man enough to let this phone. How do you carry your phone, Bobby?

Put it in my pocket and bag. It fits in your pocket. Fuck yeah. Is it bending? Fuck yeah. I'm afraid I said that. Fuck yeah. It fits right in there.

Well, watch. Blue gone. That's the black stuff. That's the black stuff. Are those special pants. These are iPhone pants. Yeah. I have new iPhone pants. I felt like I was going to be surprised if they did that, these Apple baskets.

Well, they did come out with pants, a khaki version with the pocket on, not for Apple, but, you know, a company did for them. Smart phone pocket on the side of the leg, so for Apple, but a company did for a smartphone pocket on the side of the leg, so you can just slide it in there. But it's not that, look, that Ben Gate shit is horse shit, by the way. 10 million iPhone sold nine return for bending. Nine out of 10 million, go fuck yourself. Those are unbelievable percentages.

What about the? It's all bullshit. The guy took Ported cancer that it's apparently giving us that's true. Yeah, yeah people are dying there 45,000 people died I'm gonna talk on the phone anymore with the ear. I'd never talk on the phone next to my ear I do a head-to-head speaker phone. Is it giving us cancer? Is that real? I don't know I just freaked out about it. Yeah, we're all we're gonna die from it. Yeah. Oh my word I love the way black people talk on the phone. You see them they never have the phone to their head speaker. Yeah, you speak it. What? I'm telling you there's gonna be it's it's gonna be no white people left and it's gonna be all black people because they talked on the phone

Correctly, but I got headset. I use my headset. We all get cancer. No, too much. I am I We all get cancer. Tumas. I am, I use the headset and I use it in my car. I have it hooked up to the actual Bluetooth thing in there. That's what I usually, I talk to my car. Yeah, and then I have the headset that I use. And I use the iPhone headset, which is awesome, by the way. I love the one that comes with it.

Oh, red phone, yeah, that phone's great. I haven't tried them yet. They're fucking great. I don't mind. I've gotten every headphone you can possibly get. I always wind up back with the iPhone headphones. They get Skull Candy. Huh? Skull Candy's all right. Oh, you go to twigdaudio.com and you get 33% off. If you mention what? Dude, dude, in the checking out as a code, you get 33% off, they have beautiful headphones, every color, they have mic, non-miced,

and they're amazing, tweed.io.com, a sponsor of the YKWD podcast. It's expensive, not cheap, inexpensive. Yeah, exactly. But yeah, I love this new phone, and I love the big one. I love the big one because I, look, it's perfect for me. It fits in my hand. It's not as big as you think.

And when I watch, I love watching movies on this. I just watch movies on your laptop or your TV. I don't, I have an iPad mini, which I love, but I don't have to use it anymore. I can just bring this with me now. And it's perfect size. It does everything. Everything.

It has a stand. It has a stand. The case I just got, it has a stand in it. That's a good one. So the case I have, you can, yeah, I'm on a plane in the hotel room right on the pillow. I can, you can get a keyboard and type on this, I can read scripts on this, I fucking love it.

I love it, I love the iPhone Plus. I love the size of it. I like the iPhone 6 just as it is. I do like the iPhone 6 too, I really do. What the fuck? What is that? There's a spirit here. That's the size of it. I like the iPhone 6 just as it's I do like the iPhone 6 too. I really do what the fuck What is that there's a spirit here? That's the thing over here. I love I think the iPhone 6. Well good Just leave it. I think the iPhone 6 is awesome too. I do I love it. It's a perfect size for like my wife I think it's right. It's a lady phone. I know I'm saying that for it'd be convenient for Somebody who's holding a baby or grocery or maybe a big one would be for someone like that.

No, no, you need a manhand to hold the place. Yeah, look, you see that? You know what I mean? Like my eyes yours orange. Yeah, it's a case. It's a case. It's red.

Is it a blind orange? Are you guys, you know what? I fight you two fucking car. You don't think I'm onto you. You don't think I'm fucking onto you, soda pop. What? You're Instagram maybe laughs so hard with the horse dick. Oh, that fucking free.

I laughed so hard. That was great. I got, you know, I went, it's fun now because when I go away, I have to bring my kid back something. I love that. No, you don't, you don't have to bring him something. I do. You're gonna spoil him, he's I love that. No, you don't. You don't have to bring him something.

I do. You're gonna spoil him. He's gonna think that that's, but life is about possessions. No, I bring him back cool gifts though. I don't bring him back like, you know, I bring him back puzzles and learning things. I don't bring him back just stupid.

What are you rolling your eyes on? You're gonna nerd up your kid, but, you know, I'm gonna get a fucking nerd up my kid. He's gonna be smart. He's gonna have to do shit. What are you talking about? This is kid will be tough and you're so mean. My kid's gonna be smart. He's gonna have to do shit. What are you talking about? This is kiddo me tough and you're so mean. My kid's gonna be tough too.

I'm gonna get him into jiu-jitsu when he's older. Okay, we're forcing him into our combat sport now. It's necessarily a good thing. You're just fucking, anyway, I don't know. Any street I go down, you cock sucka, you put him one way. Did you say that the iPhone 6 is okay? And it's not a lady phone.

Have you showed on my letterman tape yet? Oh, he's still a good boy. The kid. He doesn't care for my comedy, I don't like it. He's just a kid's good taste. Listen, here's a thing. I brought him, so I got him a horse in Denmark at the toy store. They have like the whole fucking farm.

These little animals and cows and and and sheep and goat and chicken You can buy you can buy the whole you can buy the whole farm and that's like a toy I didn't you never see that at a fucking toy store in America It's all fucking the craziest horse shit you can get you almost bought the farm So I bought I bought the horse I bought this beautiful horse And I gave it to him and he loved it He was fucking playing with it right away and then I looked on the bottom. They put The horse dick on it and balls

But it's actually it's actually the size the dick should be it's like that's great It's it's a massive dick on the bottom of the horse You're gonna turn your son into a size queen. I took it away from him Teach him because he was biting he was putting in the horse in his mouth. I don't want to look down It's him fucking blowing a horse. You're afraid of gay people. I want no, I'm a homophobic. No, I don't want my kid Maybe horse homophobic. I don't want my kid blowing horses if it was a guy with a dick. I'd leave it Okay, it was a guy with a dick. I'd leave it. Okay. It's a horse I gotta go down to county jail. Why? Well, they busted Max blow in a horse

That toy Yeah, well, he's actually James is scaling from rooftop to rooftop Trying to fight the violence in the city Top to rooftop trying to fight the violence in the city A lot of finest people like blowing horses Name one George Washington he didn't blow a horse I read a book No, you didn't gone girl. That's a great book. Well you text will please and find out where he's at? Speaking of horse. Do I have to tell you this shit? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I don't know I got injured. And then it's, it's, it's, what is it? I don't know, I hadn't got that. I hadn't got that.

I hadn't got that. I ain't gonna come late and leave early. Like a Los Angeles Dodger fan. You ever see those guys? They, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, watch baseball and we just didn't like you dumb joke, okay? Well, you'd never seen Dodger Stadium. They come late and they leave early. I hope you get a deal I hope they give you general give you a deal and you get a big show and it's filmed in Vancouver It's a great city. I just want you gone, okay? That's really insensitive. I want you But I wanted you to have a show. What could I have done that back?

Can I unstrap the podcast off my back before I was at the food room? Oh, I don't have to fucking carry it with me. You're gonna have to take it with you. I want you to do the show. What are you putting your jacket on for? I'm just keeping my arm warm. Why? You're like a reliever.

Hey baseball. Hey, I'm wearing a... This has been a fucked up show. It's been a great one. It's hot as fucking ass. Well, you told me to turn the AC off. It was 40. We're gonna have a fucking weather system in here.

I gotta head ache. I gotta fucking head ache. You know, I go to Denmark. I come back. I have great stories, but none of you guys want to hear them because you're so uncultured, okay? You got stuck in the lift.

You're so fucking uncultured. I ate whale in Norway, bro. Oh, when I've one year ago. What did it taste like it tasted a little Whaley what the fuck is that black it was very dark black Black Well, was it it was dark black? Sure orca was a Haitian whale. I don't know you ate a fucking orca I hate it was it was an orca. They don't kill kill a whale It was wrong. I don't spare you boy. You didn't even know what type of fucking whale you ate. I hate Norwegian whale

You seen blackfish, bro. I did I did I don't see it. You're what you're part of the problem Well, I don't know what to say. Well, I know what to say How about this you know what you should have cut, I know what to say. How about this? You know what? You should have cut me some slack of my fucking nomah story. That's all I say. I like the nomah story. I thought it was set up. Yeah, exactly.

I think the reason I want to talk about, I just want to talk about. What do you guys, like your lips? Go ahead. They're great and they glisten and they're thick. You're like a white LL cool Jay. You'll put your jacket over. Put your pants in. Put your pants in.

You think I'm meant to hurt you. I bet. That's one of Don's favorite physical qualities of you. It might be the only one, but it might, it's definitely one of the good ones. And Dipples. And furthermore, I was gonna say, you'd be number one on my fuck list.

I love powerful men. I was gonna have so. I was gonna have so. This is powerful, right? Whoa! Power lies. I've seen fucking, I forget it. I got nothing. What happened for you this weekend, Dan?

Oh. What happened? Nothing. What's going on? It's in shows. Nothing, that's it? Yeah, shows. You got no stories, nothing.

Clean my apartment, that was pretty good. How you on that? Box that you live in? Yeah. Go ahead, Joe. Are you raising me here? I had a store, but I didn't want to, I didn't know, I thought maybe I went premature, I thought you had something. Go ahead, what do you got, Joe? I locked you raising me my shoulder. Well, I had a story that I didn't want to I didn't know I thought maybe I went premature that you had something

Go ahead. What do you got Joe? I locked late. Garbets What the fuck did you get say? I can't believe it. Listen to me. You fucking Dutch ass all what the fuck did you just Scott McLeop what the fuck was that what did you say I locked I locked Nate Bagazzi out of a baseball game. What do you mean you locked about him? I thought I'm tickets to the wrong night. I left him a ticket. I left him outside.

He was fit. Wow, dude, that's fucking great. What happened? I don't know his day. I thought his one happened. I bought four tickets to the Dodger giant day for for eight dollars No for a lot of money. I got a lot of money, bro I'm gonna end of the end of the season That was that wasn't about you having no money. That was about them stinking. They're not really good actually. Yeah, I know I

So I bought four tickets. I hate the show. I fucking hate hate it this is the last bygones w-m-e for me yes this wall his girlfriend and me and they so i bought a fortiches but we leave nates can meet us to see some meeting with some other network not box so i have a whole shit network

and the simpsons is never what is naked be famous by the way well he's filming his special octoberth at the Grammar City Theater. If you're in New York, go to blacklisttickets.com. Blackfish. Black. What is it called? It's at the Grammar City Theater. Grammar City Theater.

October 14th. Nate Bargazzi taping his special for Comedy Central. That's great. One hour special, Grammar City Theater, and where can I get tickets? Go to his Twitter at Nate Bargazzi. At Nate Bargazzi. I'm going to ask you. Lewis J. Gomez doing warm-up for the Rattles. That's great good. All right awesome. So about the four tickets

I'm gonna get Jared on this show by the way, Jared Fried, yeah We didn't want up from mine. Oh, no Jared Logan Jared Logan. Yeah, you fucking hilarious. I love jet Will you please get him on the next show? Yeah, I'm I fucking love that kid. What a great guy. This is really fucking... Very funny. Good. So, God, you're on camera, dumb dumb. Don't roll your eyes. Oh, God.

Clearly, it wasn't on camera. That's why you said don't roll your eyes. You can let people know. No, it does the camera right there. I know there's a camera on me. It was on you. It was. I was looking right at it. You're a real jerk.

I'm not gonna edit it out. I'm not editing shit out. Go ahead. He's a good guy. I was looking at the it. You're a real jerk. I Got to edit it out. I'm not editing shit out. Go ahead Jesus, I was like, I'm good at the specials. Come on. Anyway, I tried to but then you stopped going off into Nate's horse shit Oh, I'm sorry. I'm plugging my friends special so people will be there. Yeah, I'm trying to help I'm playing him by telling this great story about what a good friend. Nate's with my management company And I'd like to make sure that we help each other out if we can not that Nate Nate ever help me out or I haven't plugged anything I've ever done on his fucking Twitter, but you know I would still want to help him and you're making Bobby's restaurant stories I'm like pulp fiction at this point because you can't get your mother fucker. You know what fuck you Dan

I'm gonna tell the guy not to use you. That's fine Must be a pretty good management company. You're with them too. Oh Go ahead so anyways, we're leaving for the game and then my buddy James Patterson who's a wonderful comedian right? I'm Chris. Nope He decides he's gonna come to the game. I say no sweat you take this ticket. I'll get a fifth ticket I go to stub hub. It's now 6 p.m. Which is within an hour of the game So the you're not even listening you're whispering disco po I have I have multi-past king. I'm listening I'm listening with the stop hop jerk was sexy lips guy. It's what you are

Let come get boners. I look over here. I see Bailey. Jettick is we boners. It's all God Joe I can't look at Joey Joey baby go ahead It sounds like Native language Will comes back in what you asked for me. Go ahead. What do you got? So we go to the game. Yep. I leave one ticket at Will call. We're in the game.

We're enjoying it. Me, James, Chris, and Chris is in the game. Popcorn! Get your popcorn here! Popcorn! Bobby literally has a bag of popcorn with him. It's a long show. So then Nate calls. He's from outside. Six thinning. He battled traffic for two hours. He parked in the parking lot.

An hour away from the stadium, hikes all the way up, pays 30 bucks to park, 30 bucks to ticket. He gets there, they scan his ticket, like this ticket is no good. And he's like, no, my friend bought it. And he's like, well, I don't know, your friend's a retard, because it's no good. He looks at it, it's for the next night.

So I go down there and I'm talking to him through the fence. He's fenced out like the fucking not held gang from the 40s and I was I tried to sneak a man. It didn't work. He tried sneaking him in. Yeah, real quick. My wife. I gotta make sure everything's all right. Hello, baby. You're on the YKWD show right now. What's up? Oh, I was just checking it on you. Hi. Guys say hi. Hi, I don't know. Maybe she's saying hi to you. She's saying hi to everybody. That was hi to me as what's up. Hi, hi everybody. Hi. She was right on. That's. Hi, everyone. Can you hear us? I can check you and you would be on your way home, but you just do any

fine. Yeah, right, Don. It is running a little late. Well, no, Dan was running late. Joe ran late. Will ran late. So the show fucking little late. Well, no, Dan was running late Joe ran late Will ran late so the show fucking ran late. I was on time. We're ending very shortly. Is everything okay? Okay, Dennis Larry said I can have as much bread and donuts as I want There we go. Well, okay. Okay. Alright, I'll talk to you later. I love you. What? What?

Do you want to say something? Go ahead, Joe. Say it. I was going to say, what can he have? And then you do the thing. Alright, I love you, baby. I'll talk to you later. Okay, but I. Bye. You want to say what?

What can I eat? Then you hang up. And then you get to the fight. Yeah, hang. That's what I do the wife Yeah, yeah, you don't do the T a wife. Oh, dude a lot of a wife. I know you don't I Tell you this last night. Yeah, who's gonna soon. Who I Help scuffle you should marry her past guest you should met who Who starts with a G and ends with a V Gary Veter? got it he's gonna have a wife Engage Arunni really yeah, I thought they were a week ago A couple days ago I met

I would make you think you were good friends. This is this is what I've learned in marriage Last night this is different fantasy and reality. Yeah, I was with Going to bed. We went to bed and then I was sleeping and then my dream, my wife, me and my wife were at the comedy cell that we came down. And one of the new waitresses, short hair, gorgeous, she came up to my wife and they both immediately looked at each other like, wow, like there was an attraction. And she said, oh my God, you're very beautiful. My wife was like, I think you're very beautiful too. And I was like, wow.

And then she said, I know, I'll be back. Okay, I'll see you in a few minutes. And my wife looked at me and she goes, I like her. And I was like, wow. And she's like, yeah, I want to bring her home. And I was like, are you shitting me? She's like, yeah, I want to do this. And I want you to be involved.

Are you okay with me? Sleeping with me? I was like, absolutely. And then all of a sudden sudden my wife started nudging me and going, the dog has to shit. And then you got one good. I went watch, you go, the dog has to shit. And I went, and I had to go let the dog out

and it had to shit. Who the dog is? Who? Who? Who? That's my fucking life right there. So wait, in the dream you had to let him out or in the real life?

In real life. I'm gonna share some knowledge of how to have a fucking happy life. I was gonna ask you, I'll tell you I have a happy life. You meet a girl that fucking is the best person in the world and you don't fuck her all the time. You don't fuck, you fuck very rarely.

That's a terrible. That's a happy man. That's a happy man. That's when you have kids though. That's a happy marriage, yeah. We, yeah, you's a happy, that's a happy man. That's when you have kids though. That's a happy marriage, yeah. We, yeah, you have a kid, it's fucking way different. You know, because listen, the day goes by, she's exhausted, it's a fucking, it's crazy man.

It's crazy. It's crazy. I hope to fuck someday soon. I guess. I hope to fuck. There should be a time where men couldn't fucking cheat where we can go out. I'm so, this should be it.

The time is now. Yeah. You don't want a cheat. You got a beautiful girl. No, no, no, it's awesome. Yeah, you guys are at the beginning stages, everything. We're still canutling. Yeah, you're what? What are you doing? Canutling. What the fuck is that? Maybe the thing we do. What is it? Sexual. What is it? She lays down on the bathtub. Yeah. And then I in a crab position. Yeah over her. Yeah, take a dump on her chest It's called a canoodle. Oh, do you eat it? She dies. I can't eat my own shit. That's gross Disgusting. I don't know you don't say that about your girl, dude. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's insensitive. Oh really is it about you girl

Cuz we know you grow dude. Yeah, cuz you really think I do that shit. I don't know fuck through a sheet bro No, I don't think doing it since I think making it up and telling it on Yeah, that's fucking yeah, like weird. I would never do that. Why why are you turning fucking y'all? What are we all y'all? What is that? Why are you from fucking Northern Florida? Y'all is grammatically correct though I think. You all. Yeah, you all, not together as one word, y'all. And maybe I like it. Dapu?

It's deep. I don't think it's grammatically correct. Thank you. You know. All right, well listen. Do we know if like, you're really smart? The way Scopo asked that, let me just say yes. Scopo, he is.

No, I was gonna say in a mean way. But smarter than you. Yes. A lot of people are smarter than me Bobby. No shit I Think right away college that with two degrees What the fuck does that mean? What does this thing? Yeah, we'll fucking left that's hilarious. What about that? Where did he go? He stayed making a phone call. He's going right outside. I don't know. I'm fucking never having them on the show again

What is what is she say right there? But I jump in on the flight. I wish I could finish listening to you guys. I love me some YKWD That's what she said. That's Heather. Oh, that's right. I know what let's end this fucking disaster anything you gonna Anything anything anything? I'll be in You know what, let's end this fucking disaster. Anything, you gonna, anything, anything? I'll be in, uh, Appleton was commented in October 16th of the 18th at Skyline Comedy Cafe. Let's go over to my album.

1700 years ago. Dude, I played there fucking 18 years ago. As a fucking middleer, opener, no, middleer. I stayed at the condo. Okay. Kevin Meaney was the headliner. Wow, I love Meaney. I remember I came back into the condo. Okay. Kevin Meaney was the headliner. Wow, I love Meaney. I remember I came back into the condo,

the MC had taken my Sony PlayStation out of my room and plugged it into the living room and said, I don't think it could mind. Did you old school Bobby fight him? I know, I didn't fight him, but I was like, you're out of your fucking mind. But I didn't know the etiquette on the road yet either. You know what I mean?

Where it's like, I don't know, maybe, but I was like, you fucking stupid, put that shit in my room, don't touch my shit. And he was like, oh dude, I didn't think, it's like, I don't know, maybe. And then after I was questioning myself, maybe I should, is that what comics do? I don't know, what the fuck,

you know, and then, I should ask you. Yeah, absolutely. And then I remember I had all the staff over to the condo, and they drank, and it was really dirty and muddy, and they put mud on the floor and the carpet. Did they trips? And I had trips, and I had to fucking clean the floor.

Sons of bitches. I remember I left the fucking dish in the sink and they fucking yelled at me, called Frosty, and was like, you know, he left the place a mess. And you know, but that's when I was like, fuck you in your condos. Fuck condos. Yeah.

How did the fuck do I have to clean this? Do they still do a condo? I shared that condo with Nick DePolo one time. Oh, true story. They never had me back, cause of that. And it wasn't even my father. Well go see me there October 16th Yeah, yeah, yeah, go see him there apple. That's who our Houdini was born by the way Oh, also David or T's men his wife there. Hey, I think Houdini's about what he made of at the comedy club That's not true. That is true. No, it isn't he went on his first date there. He would know he didn't he didn't meet her there

Right, but I he went on his first date there. I do that. I'm not a me know. Well shut up What is that it is it all you got all right? Thank you Dan. I love you Appreciate it. See you later. I got a big show there. Dan. I got a plug Well, this is the this is Dan's last time on the show ever. Yeah, why I have to go Huh? I'm already late to think what you think What you think Dan go what? It's bullshit. It's not bullshit. What is it? What the fuck is it Todd Barry's podcast? Oh 20 minutes right down the street

You booked you double booked the podcast It's the only day I could do it and I couldn't I had to do this the golden child the golden child First wow And ice couldn't I had to do this the golden child the golden child That podcast not only were you late for mine? I was leaving before it's over which is a no no No, it's five o'clock at those gonna be out of five 10 more minutes and it's fun nine more minutes at two hours Because I stayed extra for here to make up for the I guarantee you not late for his show. I'm gonna be late the I guarantee you not late for his show I'm gonna be late I guarantee you not late I get where to where to

Second Avenue two stop three stops. Yeah, I guarantee. Don't say where he lives I won't but how dare you this is my main Wow, I move I'm fucking crushed. How are you crushed? I'm crushed dude I could have just texted scope. Oh, it said I'm gonna gonna be so late I'm not even a com and I fought traffic I got no fight with my girlfriend because she was asking me about Apple picking while we were stuck in traffic and I'm freaking out about this thing I got some good ideas for replacements. Okay, Jared Logan is good. There it is good He doesn't do but does he do voices?

He does excellent voices and they're usually very well written. Yeah, I'll leave on there. Yeah, he's a great guy. Wow Okay, we get the same initial show. Okay, maybe maybe Jen let him back on this microphone Very upset you would even bring this up Joe. I brought you into this Joe She's great. She is good. Yeah, she's good Hi, yeah, okay, so who else Joe? Jennifer Lawrence Jay Leno Lennon Jim Lilletta I don't believe he has to leave right now. I believe he's fucking I believe and I guarantee that he's not gonna be late I guarantee he's gonna be fucking early to Todd Barry's podcast

No, he's that doesn't mean anything He's gonna be late because he's gonna be sitting in the hallway listening to everything we say call Kanton not hear it call Todd Barry now. I guarantee I got a phone number. We're pretty close Janus pop is right now Janus pop is I guarantee Janus you're on the YKWD podcast live right now Hang up on him I'm not hanging up on the honest poppies i'm a big fan of the other place then

and you know it yana's comes early and stays late and he doesn't fucking do it like dan so to just he was late for the show and then he left early to go do taught barries podcast oh my god that's this loyalty is what what happens we what happens to people with disloyal in this business? Yeah, you don't need disloyal in this freaking business. You gotta stay loyal to the people and good to you. This is our thing here.

This is our thing. Well, that's about much funnier to get from me honest. We hope you to hang up on them. I'm not hang up on Janus Papa, so I would never do that. Janus is that talking? That was Joe Liss told me to hang up on you. I didn't say hang up, Scopo said hang up. I mean, Scopo said it.

Scopo. Yeah. You're a liar. I mean, you speak more like you Scopo. Yeah, we all do. I'm an expecting more for a year and a half. Guy can still has a hard time with chair decisions. Very hard to do. I don't know how to do it. Yeah, honest. Well, all right. You know what I should hang up on you I'll see you in the parent night. You honest. I'll see

I know call and stink even if it's just on the iPhone 6 plus It's all right. I'm a little off today. You know, I go to other countries, I get sentimental and I become fucking down to earth and I forget that these guys really didn't want that. They just want funny all the time. They want the stories to be fast. I tried to tell them about my time there and they were just like, go fuck yourself.

Fuck you, fuck you. Boring, boring, boring. And they wanted to move on. So, and they, you know. How'd you like Denmark, man? I've never had any jobs. You really? I didn't know. See, I wish you were on today. We could have something to talk on. So, and then, you know, how'd you like Denmark, man? I've been there many times. You really? I didn't know. See, I wish you were on today.

We could have some to talk about. Yeah, I did TV show out there. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, I did it. You could Google it. It's online. You could. Next week, me and you, you're on the show next week. Can you come in next week? Of course, I can come and bother because I'm so loyal.

You're on the show. What was the show about? I can't hear you here, Joe. What was the show about? I can't read your show. What was the show about? I knew it was the end of the show. I am. By the way, was it waiting for that to happen? It felt like it got real about your story. I had my blind barber story cut off and just never ended.

And then I had my Nate Bargazzy story that didn't even end. Didn't get to the ending. So you you know you get all incentive about your story I had two classics that just I think we let you go through the whole night thing it was fucking hilarious no he was at the gate when we got crazy he arrested he did not you like well i am lying but you get something there was more to it what what else is there he's at the thing mad crazy and then fucking,

now promo Dan had to go into his fucking promos. Yeah, his promo Dan. You know what I mean? Yeah. So what are you gonna do? He's a promo sexual. All right, listen, even D-Poo stopped laughing 18 minutes ago.

You know what, wait, you know what, D-Poo stopped laughing? Because I said everyone was talentless and I was trying to be funny and then D-Poo bailed on me. I have a food headache, okay? I need to get something in me. I want to keep with the fat neck in here Who's that the chubby weird? Cabot Dan, yeah, he actually sent me an email. I think I what I want to do is next week. I want to do I

Want to get Shannon in oh? Relax, you know what now I'm not doing it. I want to get Shannon. I want I want Dan in next week Hobbit Dan Hobbit Dan. Yeah, but you two we get Shannon to what let's do a topless episode Yeah, all shirts off and then I have yeah, I'm not taking my shirt off. Okay, what about shantaker shirt off? Absolutely not. Yeah, I know Yeah, you wouldn't you wouldn't take the shirt off and fan chant to Krishna. No, I'm married I'm not gonna do a podcast with a topless woman and me take mine off What am I gonna do? How am I gonna explain that scope? Oh?

Just say you're taking one for the team No, listen here's a deal All right, this show is over. I'm tired. I got a headache Bobby you're gonna dismiss it. This is a great episode. No, we got fucking will just left that's insane. That's fucking stupid It says a 10 minute 10 minutes. I said how long five minutes 10 minutes? Oh, do that and then he fucking never came back I'm so unprecedented. What's that? Let me talk to you. We've had two phones on Two why is your phone on? This is fucking anarchy. This is anarchy. We have had two phones on. Two phones. Why is your phone on? This is fucking anarchy!

This is anarchy. You're fucking phones on. One guy quit and mill in the show. Dan's leaving, coming late, leaving early. He's late, leaves early. You got people tripsing your apple tin condo. I mean, that was years ago. I know, but still.

This is fucking over. All right. I want, I want, Janis Poppis. Janis Poppis. Jo list. Jo list. I want I want Janice poppies. Joe list. Yeah, I want Dan Oh hobbit Jared Logan little Dan Jared Logan Jared Logan. Well do a chubby neck episode All right, there we go. What do you got Joe list? I got a big show big show. Where is it October 22nd really? In depth bird New Jersey where and they're paying me a whole shit lot of money. I can't bring up my show. I got it.

I got it. I forget it. He's got it. It's not worth the most money I've ever made. Come on. It's a big gig, folks. You're making $9,000. One gig.

You're making $9,000 for one gig. Yep. Where is it? So make sure you come up. Where is it? It's in Deppford, New Jersey. You're not supposed to tell people that, you know that, right? What do you mean?

You shouldn't tell people what you're making. Oh, I'm not really making nine grand, what are you insane? I wouldn't be here. Okay. What? I'll know. Is that the fucking thing? Jay, I make money, I'm quitting.

I'll have to. I'll have to. Then you'll be here forever. A.U. That was funny, but funnier that you were laughing at how hard you got sexy lips. Auletto Caterer's, A-U-L-E-T-T-O-Caterer's in Deppford, New Jersey. It's October 22nd. It's a Wednesday and it's a big fundraiser for cats. I don't know, I don't get it.

Sounds like the worst gig I've ever heard. What else? What are the shitties? This is the shittiest plug ever. Yeah, for DEPP, I'm gonna go. For Depp from New Jersey. Where the fuck is Will? Call him right now. He's in Haiti. They had to call him big waves.

Okay. Depp from New Jersey, October 22nd, which also is the 24th anniversary of Pearl Jam's first gig at the offer. Cafe. Are you doing a trivia show on weekends? Why do we give- How do you know that by the way?

Bobby. What? I know you're upset. But this episode- Yeah, fucking really upset. This episode was weird. This is the funniest you've ever been. Never been.

Also, it's an adjustment because you have- We're missing nine guests. There's usually 1,100 extra people here. I know. I've been trying it. I wanted to hear his will. Can I tell you something? Wait, hang on.

This motherfucker. He means he's on the phone. What? Look at that little part. He means he's on the phone. He's talking to somebody. Yeah. He's coming to somebody yet He's coming here

Is that will That's his uncle will you are fucking piece of shit you left the podcast 10 minutes You're supposed to be gone and you fucking never showed back up go Fuck yourself I like those apples so Bobby would be I want to say the N word Bobby what you check him the N word Jesus Christ we stop why not we stop he left I mean it wasn't go Actually, well real what he tried to do Go. This is what's actual real what he's trying to do.

I'm gonna move. This weekend if you listen to live, it would be a comics and Fox Woods, me, Robert Kelly and then Lewis J. Gomez will be there. Yeah, it'll be fun time. We're gonna have a great time. We're gonna have a good time last time. Bring up the chat. Uh, October.

Why should I whisper? Can you try to read my lips? You fucking assholes. I I read those lips all day I go I go chat chat. I even in chat. I do that and he takes his head Would you say it's it defeats it good? You got it. You got too many knuckleheads here. I tober 10th and 11 I love knuckleheads. I'm a fucking knucklehead. I'm a leader of knuckleheads. You really are What's at the show should be called? You love knuckleheads. I'm a fucking knucklehead. I'm a leader of knuckleheads. You really are. What's at the show should be called?

Leader of his channel, okay, H. There's no one. All right, right here he is, there he is. What the fuck, man? That, you know, long he been gone? This is for my app, man. I got to do this. For you what?

You're at? My app, my app. Put them thing, what the fuck do you mean? You're at on your iPhone I'm your iPhone on a pp. He's trying to compete against you with the apps First of all I'm 27 apps in number fuck it. I Have an award winning app won't you suck that? This motherfucker right here. He leaves your show for a full hour and then comes back and tells you to suck it, dog

You need to sound black I'm doing voices now Yeah, Dan left Dan left to go he left to go to fucking Todd Barry's fucking so anyways Where are you from Dan? That's interesting. Wow I Let me Dan soda is gonna be on suicide watch who you why we'll quit in middle of the show and yeah He left with what the fuck you don't fucking go make a hat and a 45 minute phone call. I does an hour podcast you told me. You ask fuck you fuck you been on the show 17 times.

You know how long the show goes. Oh, I'm back man. What we talking about? What's going on? Yeah, yeah, what it's over. It's done. Well, you get no plugs. No plugs. He has no plugs anyways.

I know. Then we talk about Tracy Morgan and what warm what is doing We would have if you came back that's crazy man. I have a headache and I have to eat my blood sugars low Who's father's that one you can't even like a six pack a thing on your arm? What? You know what? Well, you invent that you cock sucker. That's great. You left 45 minutes ago. That's no who counting more money I am looking at the timer right here. I'm counting you asshole without miss you missed everything

You missed Dan quitting Dan quit the podcast I Some on the way out. I didn't miss that you shot. Where, where were you? I was right in the hole. They had coffee at Cafe Regio, downstairs. It's gonna, it's gonna tell you to need a stronger host. Listen, I tried to fucking bring up some good culture. I tried to bring up Denmark. I think this is the funniest you've ever been. And sexiest. I love it.

Listen, it's great. It's great, have to say. We're the same. Is that he was a little low? You'd have nice cleavage going. You know what, fuck you, okay? I mean, the Tracy Morgan thing is ridiculous You're the same. Is that he was a little low you have nice cleavage going you know what fuck you okay? The Tracy Morgan thing is ridiculous by the way dude. They told my he wears seat belt who wears seat bus on luxury buses They're just doing that though. They're gonna have school busses on has seat belts. Yeah, they do

Yeah, they do all school school school buses now they have them oh damn to you You just didn't wear Well, I mean look it's like somebody wearing a seatbelt in the cab who the fuck does that nobody does but Here's it this driver was speeding and that driver worked overtime They too cheap to hire multiple drivers. Yeah, and they try and they try to blame the victim Well, here's what here's the here's what're gonna do. And it's from a legal standpoint, they're gonna say, they weren't wearing seat belts. It's a lot of wear a seat belt.

That's a fact. And because you weren't wearing a seat belt, we're not liable for what happened to you. Because if you were wearing a seat belt, you might have not been injured as bad as you were. That, of course, they're gonna say that. They can't, what do you think they're gonna do? Just say, no, we're responsible fully whatever you want.

They would fucking suit them from millions. Now, with this, and did you find out they want a trial with a jury? Yeah, that's the problem. They want people, regular people to make the decision. They want people. So, that's one of the other ones. Is that good by the elite in that?

Is that good or bad? It's good because, listen, it could be bad, it could be good. It depends on who, you know, the amount of money you're gonna have to spend on a lawyer to fight this case could fucking be not worth it, okay? And to go to war with Walmart who has fucking deep endless pockets, that's gonna be a fucking battle.

You could come out of it with some money, or you could settle. They're trying to get it so that you're gonna go fuck it. Just give me that. All right, we'll give you that. Whatever that, I don't know what that is. But if they say it's our fault, our driver fucked up, they're fucked.

You can just write a blank check. They're trying to make it so it's not a blank check, okay? That's all. That's what they're trying to do. Which is, they're setting up for that. They're setting up so that they can not pay them as much as they should pay them. They're going to pay them this much.

They're just going to hope they want to settle. They're going to hope they want to settle or take what they're offering. They're not going to want to go through the whole year of trial. It's going to be a lot of trial. Look, if I was them, I would say fuck you, hire the lawyer and do it. Do it. For the simple, you have to. You have to fight this case because you have to make sure that the next driver isn't falling asleep

You have to make sure that you fight them winner lose because you have to you have to keep this in the forefront so that Dude I don't want to be in traffic and look back and see an 18-wheeler coming because this guy's been driving too long and see But I'm not see but a freaking truck and saying is I don't know what you just said But yes, I'm on your side fight it. Yeah fight it and then go into that their history of drivers Because there's a ton of access. They're not reporting. It doesn't that does not make the news and we can look at their history Of getting drivers that don't have enough sleep. Don't have enough food. Yeah, don't have enough Well, they can I don't have enough sleep, don't have enough food, don't have enough of- Well, they can have, I don't know what the-

You gotta fight for it. I'll fight for it to party. Listen, I think they definitely have to fight it, because if they settle, this will just go away. Yeah. And the fact that there's- And they didn't want it to go away. You can't have a go away because-

I mean, the truck drivers need, you know, I don't know how it's gonna work, but it might be good for truck drivers, too, where it's like, look, you can't push us that far. Just people. Dan Seller came back. So you know what I mean? I think you have to fight it to make this, to stop this. I don't know about you, but when I'm driving now at night

and anytime and I'm in traffic, I'm looking behind me all the time because I'm getting ready to get, I don't ever get in the middle lane, I'm always to the right or to the left because I'm looking for a fucking, I saw a Facebook and I hated when they do this on my newsfeed. There was a family in a car. I wish I could unsee this. Family in a car, driving, in traffic, all of a sudden a car from the other lane just flies over the Jersey Barra and projectile,

like a projectile into their car. And then you see your screams. Just a car and I could imagine that's basically what happened to them. Is one second you're singing little songs and having a good time and the next second you're just screaming like what the fuck happened. That's how fast accidents are.

It's mind-boggling. It's time to thank. No time to thank all of a sudden you're just in pain. And you know, this guy was fucking trashed him in the back. Just came, there's nothing you could do about it there's nothing it just happened you were there at that time and it happened to you they should fight it and then the guy was speeding in a in a construction area he was going like 65 miles an hour in a 35-mile zone

like like like I see about 35 miles versus 65 miles. I see Bell could have killed them If they were in a seat belt. I mean maybe not wearing a seat belt and threw them out of the car and I don't know You never know. I mean, I mean who the fuck knows the fact is It's not there. They were in traffic stop obeying the law the driver This guy smashed into them Case Case closed. You hit them from behind. Now that's a high speed. At a high speed. So we hit them back. So you know what I mean? So it's sad, but you can't expect them to go. You couldn't expect Walmart. I mean, they came out and was like, yeah, if we're responsible, we'll take full responsibility. They covered their asses from day one.

If we find out, you know what I mean? It's like when you ask somebody at LA, hey, you wanna go hang out tomorrow? Yeah, sure, I think I have a thing. They always had that thing. I might have a thing, but if I don't have that, that's just so they can call you up and have that thing came through.

What was the thing? I was in general meeting. That's what I had when I was there. Yeah, I, I think I was in general meeting. That's what I had when I was there. Yeah, I think I know Tracy and I know, you know, already, who, you know, I still pray for both of them. And it's a fucking terrible thing to go through. Don't worry about, you can heal physically, but you're not, like I still freak out out about it and I wasn't in the accident.

Imagine having that happen and how do you drive in a car? How do you get on the highway? How do you drive next to a truck anymore? And all you broke is like in five parts from this knee to a sip. It was broken in five different parts. Yeah. And the recovery on that physically is terrible, but mentally, it's nuts.

The fear that you have to overcome. Oh. So I think they fight it, they'll definitely fight it. So you say they need money though to fight it, all right? No, you don't need money. Whoever, yeah go ahead, piss. Whoever the lawyer is, they'll get paid on the back end of it. That's what's going to suck is that if you settle, you don't have to pay all those lawyer

fees. Do you know what I mean? Let you do. You have to pay some lawyer. Some, but not as much as you. Not as much as going to trial with a jury. So these lawyers who fight it and they'll stay with you because they think the outcome is going to be great.

Oh, it's going to be great. Oh, they're going to be huge. They're going to take, yeah. So if you huge. Oh, they're going to be huge. Yeah. So if you make 20 million, they're getting a fucking chunk of that. Yeah. So they got a percentage of it. And then they get, then they get, they get, they get, they get, they get, they get

the billy for the time. Yeah, it's, yeah, you, the lawyers wanted to go to trial too. They want, yeah, of course they do. Of course they do. And you go, you don't know too. These, these are, they, you know, Tracy Morgan is, is, you know, you know't know too. These are Tracy Morgan. He's not Billy Crystal. So wherever the fucking jury is,

you're going to make sure you get the right jury too. Because they might be like, Tracy gets on the stand. That's going to be hilarious. You probably take a sure, someone's getting pregnant. Yo, I'm Tracy Morgan. I was on that. So no, you never know what the jury trial. My dad got hit by a car and then he went to jury trial and he lost.

You never know. You never know. And make any money from it. Oh, the money that they asked for, the day could say, you know what, these guys deserve 10 times that. I bet the KS. Yeah, it could go in there. Yeah, absolutely.

That happens all the time, but they could, you know, they could literally say, you know what, it could go in there. Yeah, absolutely that happens all the time with they could literally say, you know what, fuck, the jury could be like, fuck you Walmart, you piece of shit. These guys lives were over for a year, you could have killed them because of this asshole. You never know. And then yeah, they could be like,

you're paying out of your asshole for this. They could make, you know, they could make 100 million. I think Walmart got lucky that they hit it into a luxury vent If it was a regular car like my car your car. Yeah, everyone in that car is bigger in my car But done everyone been dead. Yeah, I look a guy died of this. Let's not forget that. We're talking about what's talking about someone's dead Someone's gone because this guy didn't get enough sleep I mean, you know, it's fucking sad.

Someone's dead. They don't, you know? So, I think Walmart is just, you know, juxting for a position right now to say, okay, you know, they can't, they can't, there's no way the lawyers are like, you can't fucking just say, yeah, we fucked up. You have to fight this. And they'll fight it and they'll get some money and it's just the way it goes. But it sucks.

We all sit and go, what the fuck? You said this, but in reality, it's a corporation. That's a huge corporation. There's so much money in that. They could fight this for 10 years and it wouldn't even affect them at all. It's Walmart. They sell fucking

Everything. It's the biggest store in the world. You know, I mean it's huge. I mean, Jesus Christ Millen Millen of Mama pop stores fuck yeah Fuck yeah, I mean you can go there now and buy meat I mean do you ever see the food you ever see these things at Walmart? The meat? Do you ever see the people walking in Walmart? Yeah, but do you ever see the meat? They have worms and shit.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, dude. You two Walmart and me. Oh, yeah, I see the fish. They have a worm. A worm, like the, like the, like the strand. You ever see that shell? The strand.

Like one of those worms. Strain. Yeah, sorry. The Shren, the Shren. Why did you go to the store? Why did you go to the store? Why did you go to the store? Why did you go to the store?

I came around. See this? I gotta go now too. Oh my God, you know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, it's Will's fault. He got me talking about this. I don't know, I know, it's not six o'clock, though, by the way. I have a meeting, I got a 630.

Buddy, we're ending right now. You're lying, man. Listen, we're out. We're starting from six to six studies, Joe Liz. Hey, pick one star, we are in three. I got another. I got another. I got another. Just have like warm out. Six to six studies, Joe Liz. Hey, pick one story and stick to it. I got another. Just have like warm water.

Joe, list everybody. You're the fucking, let me tell you something. If there was someone on the show that I would fucking, I admire and know, I'd pick you, the guy. You're great today. Fantastic. You always good. I want it to be back. I admire you.

I'm good. Congratulations on your meeting, by the way. I hope you get a show. I'm going to be back. Congratulations on your meeting by the way. I hope you get a show. What meeting is that? What is it? Who's it with? Who's it with? I can't say the name.

Why? Someone gay, a female. What are you going to do? I'm a black person? What is it? I Bye buddy. All right, so well, what do you got? I'll be at the whole book and Comedy Festival this week. I was supposed to be at that. Oh, yeah, man What are you gonna the whole book and copy festivals this week? I the guy email me he emailed me some anywhere

I was away and it's like I can't book shows like people try to book me Like through Facebook or some shit or through email. That's what I have Matt do it my aging because I don't I don't I can't organize it I don't fucking I did last it was really good. I know it's great But you should support it the whole book and comedy festivals fucking great Jersey City one was cool I mean I support all that shit. So yeah plug it Go ahead and then also my film festival in Los Angeles coming up by October 22nd the finals NBC shortcut films so come check out Craig Robinson is hosting no Craig Robinson funny one of the funniest guys ever hosting it Nice is guy to nice is guy unbelievable. He's on that commercial that car commercial. He is yeah, very funny

It's funny commercial. Yeah funny commercial That guy and then and then also on Twitter At will still brings the BIL S-Y-L-B-I-N-C I'm always saying random stuff so you never knew what's going on my Twitter. So follow my Twitter I don't what the fuck is that I don't know what the fuck is that. I don't understand. I said it like it was a festival, all like a show, but it just my Twitter.

All right, so here's the deal. You really fuck, I'm very disappointed in you today. Why? You showed up late, you left for an hour. Bobby, I'm working on something bigger than Joe Liss is dumb meeting. It's a fucking app. No, it's bigger than that.

What is it? I can't say. It's a fucking app. No, it's bigger than that. What is it? I can't say. You know good to me. You know I will be. You know good to me. I'm going to sponsor this damn podcast all the money I'm going to make. Yeah, but it's no good to me.

It's going to be good. And then you go like, oh my God, you're going to take, you go, I'm going to have you delete that thing, you say right there. I'm going to have you go back in that industry and delete what you say. Promise me the next time you're on the show, you'll come from beginning to end.

Does the first ever did this shit, Bobby? So you admit you did something wrong. Yes. New shit. All right guys, you're fantastic. You never did your dates. Let's go. So October 10th and 11th, you're going to be at the comedy shop

in Haslitt, New Jersey. October 17th and 18th, you gonna be at the Comedy Shop and Hazlitt New Jersey October 17th and 18th you're gonna be at the Gotham Comedy Club in New York City I love the Gotham Comedy Nice place October 29th you're gonna be at the E.O. Rob Robrick, this guy wrote, hang on, go back to the top of your room Maybe the driver fell asleep listening to my no-miss story Let's get it Let's go back up.

Scroll back up, you fucking cuck. Everything's fallen apart without Kelly. Uh, Jesus. But if Kelly was the glue-holding the show together? Uh, I miss Kelly's tits. Yeah, okay. Can you get Joe Machi? Machi. Machi's on the fucking... Oh, no.

He's on the... Oh, no. He's on the fact he's on the the the the the the the the the the the the

the the the the the the the the the the the

the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the told me to book this. I know, I fucked up. Oh, yeah. Oh, so I'm not, oh, yes. I'm kidding, you're the best. You can come back next week.

Wanna come back next week? I don't know, man. I see, okay, I see. All right, good. What else I got? Uh, no, November 7th and 8th, you're gonna be at the comedy works in Albany and November 14th and 15th. What's the number story that boring?

Yeah, it wasn't good. Really? I mean, maybe I'm getting old. All to say, of course, it's $500. You know what it was though? You were so pumped up about this food story. Yeah. And you didn't care about laughter. You just wanted to talk about this food.

Your seriousness about food. You're so serious about food. I said it was a sex story story. I've got three sons. What else, Uncle Vinnie's where? And was it point it point pleasant New Jersey and then that's it for a while. All right, go back to the top I'm gonna be at the comedy cell all week. What the fuck you don't plug. Oh, do you? I'm plug after plugs. You can plug the plug after plugs. There's no plugs after plugs. You give you plugs ComedyCellar.com the best comedy club in the fucking world. Oh, yeah best comedies comics walk in the planet

Go to comedy sell dot com if you want tickets. They have a brand new club across around the corner called the comedy seller at the village underground They're adding more shows every week. It's it's the fucking Louis CK was there on last night. Yep, okay, I matched it. Did he? Yeah, was it Sunday night? It was no, that was CK was there on last night. Yep, okay. He smashed it. Did he? Yeah. Was it Sunday night? No, that was Monday night. Monday night. Yeah, he's fucking funny man.

Anyway, so there you go. Check it out. Now I will see you guys next week. You guys are the best. Thanks for listening to YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all of the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free. Shining, shining, running