Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Bravehearting It

Episode Date: April 8, 2013

Robert breaks the YKWD record along with Dan Soder, Joe List and Kelly Fastuca for a three hour long podcast. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un dominaje de Ma mal, a Madrid.

in all your devices. Plus, to TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. You're listening to Robert Kelly's, you know what, dude? On the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. All right, this is the 19th time I've tried to record this intro. It's 12 o'clock in the night. I'm in Minneapolis.

I just did the House of Comedy first night. I got Friday sat in Sunday. I'm fucking zooted on coffee and Caesar salads. I've been losing weight. I lost 10 pounds. Haven't had a cab or sugar in over a month. I've given them up. That's right.

Like drugs and alcohol and cigarettes. And sex, I've given them up. Anywho, this podcast is three motherfucking hours long son Braveheart as Joe Liss would say Joe Liss, Dan Soda, Kelly Fistuka, and Joe Liss, lovely girlfriend came in to the you know what dude studios and We did a late one. It started at 10 30. We didn't get out till fucking boom. I don't know one. I don't know one something It was crazy crazy. It started a fun and light and awesome and got really heated and

Crazy and real which I love I fucking love when it gets real I love when people fucking argue and figure shit out and philosophize and rant this was a good one So enjoy it. You know what, dude, podcast. And all you people that donate had the graves, and you other people that donate, that donate buttons right on the right cast.com.

You guys want to donate five dollars or whatever you got it. It all goes back into the show. Some of it goes to Kelly. They give her some cash once in a while So if you wanted to do that if you want to Your donation to go to specific shit like say Kelly Type it in there, and I'll make sure she gets it, but We took the donations this month to Buy some crazy awesome lights for the studio the studio is awesome now

So thank you so much make sure you support our sponsors, you know the Amazon Gamefly and and and go to Tweak Daudio man, I that's a fucking 11's I love when these these companies actually step up and give you guys some good shit 33% off at Tweakedaudio.com. Type in the dude, D-U-D-E, when you check out, 33% off, that's almost half, half, half. Already low headphones. The price is already low, then you get 33% off and free shipping.

So get on it, buy some, I want photos, I'm buying some of those green ones. I like the green ones with the white ear,, buy some. I want photos. I'm buying some more of those green ones. I like the green ones with the white ear, with the microphone. I love them. I get them by wife, but I want to fucking steal them back or buy some more. I'm gonna buy some more.

I'm gonna buy some for everybody. So make sure you check them out. I got another thing coming down. My tech talk with Bobby and friends. I got a new logo. I got a new song. 제가 이 이 이 오 3 인 they 인 they

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they 인 they 인 they 인 they 인 they 인 they 인 they 인 they 인 Bobby and friends is gonna be coming on strong in the next week or so. That's it. Enjoy the show. Spread the word. Fuckin' tell somebody about it. And that's it. Did. Hey gang, this is Colin Quinn. This is Jim Norton. This is Dennis Liri. This is Opie from a lot of things. This is Bert Kreiser. Stayin' cooking. You are listening to Robert Kelly's. You know what, dude?

You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? If you bippy, bippy, bippy, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, dippy, dippy, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhyah, dhy You know what I mean? Testing 1, 2, 3. What's up? Let's talk about Let's um, I don't like the lighting shut up. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It's the nighttime lighting Thanks. Shut your mouth. Oh shooting a point shut up. Well

That's what's there There is soda you There he is. So, you made it. Four minutes to spare. Dan, what do you think of the lighting in here? I had a young lady for recording my set. Oh. You should have fucking paid her. I should have paid her. There's no one else who wants to.

It wasn't good. It was her phone. Get on the mic before you get a trash. Me and fucking ruin when I just said. I want to get it why would I pay shot your mouth? Tank and you slide that light up behind you. It's um, there's a there's a dimmer in there in there right in there Not that one the other one There's two dimmers. Why don't you just squeeze in there? You're fucking shallow. How?

Right there see the dimmer Fuck nobody's dimmer than Dan. Oh you are a joke. You really are a dim wit That's a bunch of wires. You're a fucking quivelling meal Thank you quivelling a big old man down. I want to down down down down down down right there Yeah, down down down. I want to halo over his head Shut up, you gonna hold it hold it all see his dick. He's dead. Shut up. You gonna hold it? I hold it.

I hold it. I hold it. I hold it. I hold it. I hold it. I hold it. I hold it. I hold it.

I hold it. I hold it. I hold it. I hold it. I hold it. I hold it. I hold it. I hold it.

I hold it. I hold it. I hold it. I hold it. I hold it. I do it. You shut the blinds thing there, please. Yeah, thank you. Kelly. Kelly, the lovely to this evening. What the fuck, she doesn't. Where's your girl? No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. I love you guys. I'm not, I'm sure. You want to pick your mic up a little bit. Put it. We got to eat these mics. You got to eat it. You got to eat it.

You're really going to talk into it. Top talent, stop telling Danny us to eat it. He's doing that too much already. Wow. Shall I? You are a really thrown, I mean, I appreciate him lovin' up the shots so early in the game, but.

Ooh. Good for you. Well, let's go around the room here. Well, we got, Joe Liss. I'm here. Who's the, the truth? I'm the truth. We got Dan Soda a K.A.

Monster voice. We got Kelly Soda with her fucking lace. She's called Kelly Soda. I'm sorry. Well, I'm not gonna be jerking off tonight. Yes. I just find a little foreshadowing there. How great would that be with my guys? Special episode. Kelly show them the left hand.

You know, I'm the hooker and the old West, when she gets up to the room and comes out from behind the thing, that's what she's wearing right now. She's like, hey, cowboy, lay down on the bed. Kelly and Sutter are gonna get married. She's gonna pick all of her bridesmaids out of a bucket. That's good. That's good.

And we're out. I like it. And you do, Sher, we have a very special guest. Bobby can't remember my girlfriend's name. That's why he's asking me. First of all, that's not it. That is it, but that's not it. First of all, tell you why.

I've never met you girl. You've never, this is the first time she just walked in a couple of minutes ago, but anyways, this is the first time someone's had a girlfriend on the show. Oh, that's very close. Because this is, he's the first person with a girlfriend on the show, but that isn't you,

who's Mary. I'm never fucking, yeah, You're married. Everyone else is just. So I wanted you to do the special guest. Um, this is my girlfriend, Sarah Tullamash. Hey guys. Hey, he's so scared. Let's Sarah Tullamash. Bring her a mic up a little bit for her. What do you mean? It's just gonna, I just want to, I want to get it in there right? Yeah. Just a little forward, like, see how he puts it. Yeah, there you go. This is like, it's a little weird because they're not condenser microphones. It's not, it's not a real studio. Yeah. So we have to kind of eat these mics. I got my lips right on it. It's like one of those scenes in a movie where it's a little black girl and they're like, come on, baby, sing she's a, oh no. Yeah, fame goes into the fame.

That's the reason for the Franklin voice. I think I go the other way. You look, fame, when Coco had to take her top off. Yeah, I was a put your, put your thumb in your mouth. Yeah. Well that's Cape Fear, you weirdo. No, she put her in the fame. It was fine.

Thank you Sarah. She's telling to do it. No, she didn't. She didn't keep fear. You don't know. She's football-hopping. She's good. She's like me. That's an fucking Amish tits relax. Should I write that down? Okay, here we go.

I don't even get it. It's good to see Phil again, but he's got the equipment like he's going to take one of those D.C. pictures. Well, you guys come in. You learn in the room. So dark's in first of all, it's a nighttime podcast, which we haven't done in a while. And... And... What's up, baby! What is this? Wow!

I feel like one of those Japanese guys that soups up his car. Wow. A podcast with people with ADD and you have colored changing lights. That's good for the show. And now, we're gonna look at Phil, you get the colors on the faces on the side of the couches. Yeah. Sarah and I are a package deal in every picture.

Welcome to the X to see episode of You Know What, dude. Everyone's gonna do Molly and we're gonna play Scrillex. Yeah, it's feel nice. Well, I love the, I think the, I went over to this other podcast in Boston I forget the name of a shit they're gonna kill me, but what was the name of the guy that I did what was it called Let me pick that really great guys and if you're ever in Boston you should do the show It's not it's actually a radio show. I did it with Derosa. Okay. What is it called? I don't know, but you can smoke weed in there lobby No, you can't it's in the pranatial center. That's impossible.

You'd be arrested, fucking name. I did a podcast with the rose and I got high in the lobby. I just said it was a radio show. I fucked up. The guy's name was, I can't say it's Johan from Swah. He's black. Yeah. He just says black.

Okay. And what was the name of the podcast? It doesn't say my email. You're really, you know what? You fucking. I didn't do the show. It's like say my email. You're really, you know what? You fucking... I didn't do the show. It's like having two wives. I didn't do the show, man.

I'm sorry. There's your sick baby. This is what she did. Two wives. Dude! I got one wife at home, dude! I got another one at work, dude! It's my two wives!

What she calls me, mate, though, I immediately fucking... Not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not not not I miss the setup. What was the character there? Was that soda? I mean, Kelly and Bobby together? There was Bobby's sitcom, my two wives. Oh, all right. It sounded like a Kelly with a Boston accent. It's all my accents are basically the same. Can you please for the love of Jesus, our Lord and Savior, take that hood off your guy,

enormous head. It just makes you look bigger. So does a Mohawk. I hear the headphones on. It just makes it look bigger So does a mohawk Headphones on that's why it's so big. Yeah, I thought your head was just bigger with a hoodie on it You do you look like fucking Frankenstein. Thank you. Sting Jewish Frankenstein. Hello. Hello. I'm a monster I'm a monster who loves money Find the final little racism on the podcast. Well, yeah, that was like five minutes.

Amish tits, does that count as racism? Yeah. No, that's accurate. If you took a knowledge girl's blouse off, she'd have one of those underneath it. Jebadiah, are you done churning butter? Figure we can make it. How much can many of you Let me trim that beard.

Let's consummate our marriage. This time it makes you feel pregnant because it's like really flowy. It makes me feel like I got a big belly. That stomach makes you feel pregnant. It's like eating outfits. Yeah, they're good. Yeah, I just had pizza.

Oh, we did too. Oh yeah. What? Grab a what? Grab a what? Oh, it's trying to tag in Sarah's joke. What was it? Well, she said they're good for eating. and I said maybe she'd get a couple of

I regretted the joke and now you're making me repeat it and I feel bad Well, don't worry Joe the lights just turned from blue to purple I tell you these are great. I stole anyways. They had the they had these on the wall in their studio And I go I'm stealing those for my studio and Rob sprints Pick them up off Amazon.com and don't ever touch those and Don't touch the lights Would you get her?

I know what my lights Joe. I like it. I know where I get her. Yeah, it's a WWW I like Joe. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it.

I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it.

I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it.

I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. Literally, can you talk like her? Please. Alright mate. Yeah. That was you doing comedy, mate. Yeah, I did a set for you. You ever want to shame me shit? I don't want to slice a swarm of my life. Finally, so do nails and impressions. Well, join your buddy today. What do you mean?

He's not buddy. He's not buddy. He's going to invent it. He's not the small bites, though. Hello. Hello, Zahood. Can I do mean he's not fighting? He's going to invent this small bites though. Can I do I think for Joy now? Yeah. Okay. We'll just introduce Sarah and her personality later. Yeah. We're a little of. I want to lighten. Guys later, the light's green. Go tell me. That's the indication that that bit. Tell me you don't like

these lights. I'm not going lie, it is super distracting for a podcast. Yeah, it doesn't matter. Right, my mind. These lights stay in. They're really bright. Just Bobby Galee's losing weight. I haven't had a carbon a month. No, that's at the top of the line.

I started carbs again last week, but whole wheat, I've only had two wheat. Wheat? I've only had two wheat. I've only had two times. I don't even want them anymore. I don't even fucking eat them. I had brown rice with dinner twice. But on the road, duh, duh.

You know, it's hard because you're at these clubs and I get free food. Unlike you guys who have to probably pay half. Well, order off a different menu. Yep. I get the headliner menu, which is just a regular menu for humans. And, um, dog food. You don't have to eat the dog.

There's so much for saving me. I just, I just kept smashing you guys. You guys just like, yeah, that really, the way it is Bob. You're not looking at me like, well, I mean, one day I'd like to get free chicken fingers. Um, but I didn't order, I ordered healthy food all weekend. I ate healthy healthy good. I've been eating healthy too Really yeah, I've been a lot of fiber and Some pizza. Yeah, she's ratted you out. That's fine. I had one slice. That's pizza Yeah, I'm just now, but I've been eating a lot of spinach and a lot of oatmeal.

Yeah. And a lot of things to lower my cholesterol. And I want to take a big meaty shit. Keep talking. Yeah. I'll be there. I'll be there. Yeah.

Because I've been eating nothing but cheese. It's just good. There's been cheese in every meal, not only every meal, but the title of every meal I've ever had. Real cheese. Cheese burger. Cheesy bites. Cheesy bites, cheese it, cheese doodles, chicken parm, that's a tricky one. She used it as a fact.

Cheesy jokes. I'm actually, I'm actually, this is actually a bit that I'm doing right now. I'm really disappointed by how little it's been. I really tried it yet. I wanna know, first of all, how long have you, I spent together? I don't know.

Nine years. No. No kidding. How long have we been doing this? I'm asked, can I talk to her, not together? I don't know. Nine years. No. No. Kidding. How long have we been doing this? A mask, can I talk to her? I thought you. Yeah.

Two years. Two years. This time? Yeah. Are you devoid of you married before? No, I've never been married. At least I started dating late June. But I think we were.

I wear the pants. I really like Joy today. Oh, you think? Guys, it's green, continue. Oh my god, she's scared. This shit out of me with your dumb deep voice. It's green. We have to go.

The comparison between Sarah and Dan, it couldn't be more yin and yang like she's so sweet and soft. It didn't do it and then he comes in. Oh great, now it's stroked out I'm going to have a Pepsi now Stop it BOOM BOOM BOOM

One more time You mean to get this? You got this Every time you have a good joke I'm going to do this Oh Impressions Voices

Let's not even bother explaining to the audience what's happening in the studio. It's not about them, Joe, that was for us. Back to your ratio of people that know what's going on to not is 900 to 1. Okay, so what color do you want me to keep it on one color? I like green. I like green.

Let's go green, man. You want? Like this is the cover of a pool. You're going to take it off. Yeah, it feels like a hotel. Or an aquarium. Do you want dim ones? I like that like that perfect Alright, we'll keep it like that for now to our to your relationship I want to know I want to know is it been two years really not quite two years can I talk to her? I'm well, you like giving an accurate answers

We're gonna do shitty audience member. Let me talk to her. Well normally. I would hit her if she says something wrong I'm just correcting her right now. What a bruise. Put the bruises where you can't see them though. Yeah. Yeah. She likes them. Yeah, I don't bruise.

Where, where do you bruise? Where do you bruise? I'm trying to make it. So slowly. Listen to me. So you've been, how long, Joe? How long? We've been hanging out in April though. I think I went to yoga with you. been, how long, Joe? How long? Was it in hanging out in April though?

I think I went to yoga with you. Yeah, we went to yoga together. Did you go to yoga to get her or did you go to yoga and meet her? Well, I've been friends with her. We were friends for a long time. You were already yoga that I was. I'm very into yoga. We were friends for a long time,

but I don't know how to get late, so I had to just keep my friends. Well, how do I not know that you're into yoga? I do a bit about it. I talk about it all the time. We're doing yoga for years. Really? Yeah, I love it. I did not know that. So this is supposed to be about Sarah. No do a bit about it. I talk about it all the time. We're doing yoga for years. Really? Yeah, I love it.

I did not know that. So this is supposed to be about Sarah. No, I want to know, can we do yoga sometime? Come do yoga. I do hot yoga. I asked you to do it last time. We were here. You're just being gay, idiot.

Dude, let's do hot yoga, Bobby. Yeah, let's do it. I would love to do it. I would, can we not do hot? Can we just hot? Can we do regularly yoga? Well, first of all, it's not a Jewish studio. Hot? Hot yoga. So you met doing yoga? No, no, no. We met through comedy. We live like two blocks away from each other. Really? Yeah. In a story.

Mm-hmm. So there's like where everybody lives right? Okay. We met doing comedy. All right. Maybe can I talk to her? Yeah, well you're fucking a bad at interviewing. I am not, you just keep me happy. Oh, all right. Well, you know what you get for that? Huh? You get that. Boom, boom, boom, boom. There we go. Oh, angry. Chi, what we did. Oh, this is fun.

Yeah, this isn't even, this isn't even fade. This is flash. Audience, Bobby pressed a button, and now lights are flickering. Let's go, baby. What's up? Oh. So you met in, and did you meet, I know. Hi.

This is the worst. Sorry, so you met him and did you immediately like him or was it a slow grind? What is this, a fucking key to sweat soul? It was a slow grind, she was about to say it. Did he wear on you? Did it all of a sudden one day? With my wife.

When I first met my wife, we worked, we waited tables together at a lot of familiar judjos and most of the messa chews it. Can I interrupt for one second? Yes. This is, you go like this. Joe, would you fucking let me talk to her? Sarah, how did you guys meet?

Because my wife and I, we met like this. Because I want to explain something to her. I'm going to give her a little backstory so she wanna explain something to her. I'm gonna give her a little backstory so she can go forward with her. Okay. I'm doing an interview. And you're fucking being an asshole during my interview with your chick.

I don't understand why you don't think it's a Ronacle that you, all right, good. A Ronacle? I don't like that word. What the fuck? A Ronacle? You're gonna make Joe smart. Listen, she's way smarter than you, I can already tell. Ha ha and my wife were meant, I really,

it took like a while and one day we would drive at home and I was like, holy shit, I wanna go out with this girl and I didn't even realize it. I wasn't going to do a fucking, my life story asshole. It was a two second story that would have been over 10 minutes ago was you didn't, I'm an audience at home, you can't see this, but Joe just made the stinky face.

And he held his nose. I didn't like the life. Joe's the sheriff of the, what the, Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha grind. Well, yeah, well, he had a relationship and then I saw him go through that breakup. Right. And then everyone knows about it. Well, why was it a bad one? Yeah, we're talking about Sarah right now. Was it a bad relationship? It was a bad break up. Bad breakup. And then, yeah, the six months that's sitting in the shoe story was a deter for just a moment Yeah, cuz I tried to go over there. Maybe I should wait a year until you should date somebody But then yeah, yeah, but then we started hanging out and now you guys are in love. Yeah Yeah, she said that right like so quick without even hesitation And no, you're not even a joke, which I liked most, because we're like, I guess, or maybe. She was like, yep, fuck you, motherfucker.

We love each other. Yeah, we were gonna, we were gonna date, but I cock like myself by shooting in a girl's shoe. Well, I mean, Sarah was all like, your room's met. But you can tell them the real reason though. What's, oh. Well, you guys don't mind. Why are you lying to me, Sarah?

Everyone knows what's up. Sarah, why are you lying to me? I was just not lying's up. Sarah, why are you lying to me? I was just not lying to me. I've been herpes, yeah. We have an episode called Herpes. Joe's Herpes. Sarah, is that one man? I always feel the news that Sarah does not have Herpes.

Yeah, yeah. The case of a one man. You have the one man show about Herpes. In case we break up, I want to make sure that 50,000 listeners are, know that Sarah doesn't have the talk. Herpes, you know. Yeah, but you don't have herpes.

Just in the butt. Yeah, it does. Just mouth. Just mouth herpes. Mouth herpes. Mouth herpes just don't sound good. No, it doesn't. But like, their graders have it.

Yeah, that's great. Come, yeah, their graders. Their graders only. Sucking those dicks. Yeah, those fucking herpidix Fucking teach a dicks Herpidix just a herpid teacher dick come here Here one everybody's taking nap time and there's just one kid. Okay. No, I can't go on this You started accurately

What's love like When you started accurately the lights will blue yeah, that means you're going blue What's love like Enjoy it Is it graceful here's a thing by that me and you have a common is we do we're I'm in love here in love and it's all right We get it yeah, that's my point exactly. Well, Dan and Kelly are secretly in love God if I ever walked in on that fucking nightmare God hard make it bodies together Like you threw a pound of dough in a clear past the back Bive is what I want to get naked because I would buy for shame to myself. Sure fucking yeah

Walk into pants list love, but with dry hump and it's good. I would just smell like old bread and a zipploc. I'd have to give Kelly one of those voice modifiers so she sounded like a kid napper because I couldn't take the accent. So her helping out Bobby. That bread and a Ziploc got less than zero. I actually redid his job. I did. He really did. And I knew it was a stinker so I stepped over it. We tried doing the remit. Did you see my eye twitch? No. No, I was like the bandana. Nobody's sending me. Boy, this is a good. Well, it makes me happy that you, I mean, listen, to be honest with you, Joe, when I first met you, I didn't think you'd be the type of guy first to do hot yoga.

Number two, to be in love with somebody and be so happy. And I'm, I'm, I. And I'm fucking that's great. I love when I'm wrong about people. I love- I'm a very, we just saw a movie called The Ginger and Rosa. Ginger and Rosa and I loved it. I like music holes and do yo-yo.

I get it, I get it, let's just stop it. I tell you, I love you. I'm a very loving guy, a lot of love to do. I know that's what I'm saying is that you're a very loving dude. You're a really nice person. And I was wrong about you. I thought you, when I a very loving guy, a lot of love to do. I know, that's what I'm saying, is that you're a very loving dude, you're a really nice person. And I was wrong about you. I thought you, when I first met you back in Boston, when you opened up for me,

I thought you were the typical Boston, or wherever, Boston guy, and drinking, fucking, you just, I thought you were just a typical dick shit, and you're not, you're a very sweet man. Take a compliment, fucker, let me get there. Oh, thank you. What the compliment is,

I thought you were a fucking idiot. I thought you were you think that's a no I didn't think you're did you know you was trying to pull the moves on you in early like what did he do that made you go he wants to get my post well that whole size how would how is it okay for you to ask that why why would you even say that? Because I wouldn't know I would judge Tricksal like he would, like, he doesn't have any tricks. He basically asked you over and over again. That's what I ended up. It's called the rapist.

Because I don't have a, well, Sarah does. The show's got a rapist persistence. I wanna fuck you, I wanna fuck you. You fuck me, I wanna fuck you. What are you doing? You wanna fuck me, I wanna fuck you. You fucking, yeah, you fucking pissed me off. Hey, well, everything in three days,

you know what I'm fucking, that's still on the table. It's what I'm fucking. That's basically what happened, but Sarah fucking, yeah, you fucking pissed me. Hey, well, everything you do three days, you know what, you wanna fuck is, that's still on the table, that's basically what happened. But Sarah doesn't drink, so it's hard. My previous girlfriend, I showed her my dick, we were hanging out, I was like, check out my dick, but you can't do that with someone that's dirty and sober.

I was like, check out my dick. It works like a 22 year old drunk, but she's dirty and sober. I gotta be like, I would take her to work with her too. You got a pretty thick piece Joe You do you know nice you was back about that before I know I was looking at you growing the other day when I'm doing the show You had a package he's got Bruce Springsteen jeans

You show us Joe you don't drink Sarah you don't You don't drink no anymore how long How long have you not drank in? Drinking. Four years in July or end of July? No, it's great. Yeah. So I got Sarah Flowers on her two years. Yeah.

That's what we first started doing. That's great. Yeah, even though I was a drunk. How did you do that? I mean, my wife smokes weed and she drinks, but she was never a drunk. She never got shit-fizz. She never got fucked up.

Once in a while, when we went on vacation, and she just fucking talks forever, and I know, it's so annoying, it's funny. I'll just, I'll bring up a conversation with strangers. Yeah, she knows. One, two hours later, and we go back to the bed, and we make some sloppy love.

She was just a lovable man. That was the best. But how did you, how did you, how did you, deal with that? Okay, I did you deal with that? I don't think I hung out too much. And then Joe's was like, I feel like he's a binge drinker. So there are days where he's not drinking. Right.

Only because of you. They are adorable together. She's adorable. Even just listening to a talk, I'm like, really calm. They do funny little characters with each other. It's fucking adorable. I, so I'm going back to my windowless room in Queens. Yeah, a little monster pad.

I play my fake video, my video games. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr fan made you mando cookie I'll be pay the fake football you have a pet moster come say you're a amy friend amy friend mando you're a mow you're a care mow what time what time I called Sarah a

Faggot. And I believe I said, put your foot in my mouth one time when I was sleeping as well. God damn it. And then you propose to your sleep. You do. I'd love for you to wake up with a ring. I said, yeah.

I'm going to call my mom. I know. That's why I was like, I'm gonna call my mom. So I really went to go to the game at one drinking. Like, why don't you marry me, you faggot, or at least put your foot in my mouth. Why don't you marry me, you faggot? Put your foot in your, what?

What the fuck is that? I don't think she's a faggot, and I don't want her foot in my mouth, and also I don't, well, I mean, I want to get married sometime. But look at me, look at me. Yeah, I can't, because you got like devil, you got a light behind you. Do you love her? Yeah, yeah Will you marry her?

Yeah, probably all right. Well, here's the thing the reason why you're on the she's on the show today. We've talked Yeah, we've all talked and we gotta get the starter Okay, we have we have a kick out of her And we got a get the starter. Okay, we have we have a kick out of her. We're gonna That's funny. By the way, this is the first time Dan's up has dumb leg crossed like that on the whole I feel like we're interviewing you about love so I need to be taken seriously. I don't like it because to quote forner I want to know what love is then I want you to show me to quote Bob Kelly. Why don't you shut your face? You quote fucking dawn Kelly. Shut your fucking mouth You clock sack ass. That's the boy you'll laugh that I am.

Well, you know, we almost retard a little brother. I haven't had a hard time at home to be honest with you guys. So you're about to have a baby, dude. Yeah, it's, um, it this, this, this, um, uh, uh, adorable, this adorable love free love see each other. other. What's not free? I got some monthly My fear I used to always see guys are got divorced and I would say why why did you get divorced? Did you ever lover? Most of the guys go now. Yeah. Most of the guys go, nope.

I knew, but I just fucking did it. And I shouldn't have been blah, blah. And the girls usually know that that guy does not love. That's terrifying. It's weird. Why would you do that? Why would you get married? I'd rather be a lion.

Or you don't know the love. You have that option, Kelly. I know. Oh, God. How awful. But when you, my fear was, is that having a baby that, You don't have that option Kelly. Oh god. Oh, fool. But when you, my fear was is that having a baby that I always used to hear guys would say I miss my kid. I miss my kid.

I miss my kid. Not my love. We heard him. We got a psychic. We could hear him. No. We got a Ouija board. We got a Ouija board. him. No, we got a we cheekboard without you. We can hear you get a we're G board We sell out. I miss Dan. No

God Ah your dad's dead Lot changed to blue rot on time Are you in here dad? If you're in here show me a sign. I just got electrocuted But anyways my point is is that that used to show me a sign. I just got electrocuted. Super car, but anyways, my point is, is that that used to bother me. I don't want to be, I don't,

it's like, wait a minute, what about missing your wife? What about missing your check? I don't want to, I don't want to not, I know that I'm a kid. I don't want to fall out of love with my chick because I fall in love with a kid. And I like, oh my God, this is my world now.

I want to, I miss my wife too I want it and but it gets really difficult man it gets you know it's almost like you become roommates like it's not like me me and my wife we where are we fucking perfect man I got not I have her just the way I want her. It took me years to get her just the way I like her. And vice versa. I used to be a piece of shit. I don't do anything anymore. I love being with her, which is what she wanted. So it took us a long time to get there.

Now we're there and we literally took the game, shook it up, and fucking, we're starting over again. So now we got this kid coming in and I come took the game, shook it up and fucking was starting over again. So now we got this kid coming in and I come off the road and it's this disconnect and there's shit to be done. This stuff has to be, and it's like, you know, I was up 24 hours. I did the show, I stayed up editing this flick thing that I filmed in Cleveland and then the car picked me up at the airport up on the fucking plane. It's an only an hour flight in a car home. I'm up, you know, I'm hungry.

I eat breakfast, I talk to her, go to bed around 11, and then I, you know, it's like, I'm tired, but now I gotta get up in three hours because I got a bunch of shit to do. I was like, whoa, what, you can't say no. And then I was like, well, you gotta do this and that. And then we start fighting.

And it's like, fuck, man, are you, well, I might as well just go live a Billy Burrigan. Dude, get the fucking stop bringing trash home, dude. We don't need another couch with fucking life, man. The government, man. I can tell if you're doing daughter, Bob, you're, I mean, Billy. Ah, it's all the same thing. But wait till the kid comes though, this is nothing.

Once you have the kid, then it's really kind of, you know. Yeah, absolutely. I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I no fuck that okay. I'll be honest you ready I slept in the couch for the first time Second time in my relationship with my I slept in the couch last night I just cuz of an argument, but this is the fucking things that sucks about New York is that it's a fucking one bedroom So there's no way to go so it's like I can still a matter. I'm like I'm going upstairs I can still have a fucking broad breathing which just I just just You know it's like fucking shot up. You need a door. I need a fucking door. I need a room to go fuck you Fuck that's like what Nate was talking about on last week's guest spot

What's that when they get in the fight and he's like oh fuck you and he's like you should really walk This is a pretty unbelievable game. You might want to come Well here, you know, I'm up, but it was sad, man, I felt bad. And I left this morning and I was still fucking angry. And it's like, I don't wanna, you know me, I get angry. I don't wanna be angry anymore. I don't want that around a child.

And I'm trying to kill it. I'm trying to kill it. What's a child? Yeah. I'm trying to kill my wife and the baby. No. I'm trying to kill the baby. You do have stairs in your house. I'm trying to kill my wife and the baby now. I'm trying to kill the baby. You do have stairs in your house. I'm trying to kill the baby.

Circulate too, it'd be quick. That was a real gamble, that joke. I'm not gonna lie. Balls. I love it. Balls throw that out. The bomb bandana to wipe the sweat off when it does work. Holy hell.

But do you feel like it's one of those things where you're gonna go home and everything's gonna be fine? Look, man, I'm a communicator, Dan. It's all about communicating. I communicate. That's cool I went home today. We talked about it because you're full of bushing You can talk with your stuff. I'm Hight kiss your face. I love damn so much I love Dan so much. I'm a so-so-one Dan. Hey, I like honesty.

Sarah really doesn't like him. No, I know. My wife doesn't like him. Why would she? I'm kidding, Dan. She loves you. I'm not kidding. She found you got fucking jerked off on my couch.

I didn't get jerked off on your couch. He got a blowjob, Bobby. It's different. I wasn't a sloppy one. I was like, oh, then I was like, let's go to the shower. Then I was fucking. All right. Just that was like, let's go to the shower. And then it was fucking. Ah, all right. You know, just that. Just me doing that in your face going,

anyway, so to come, because we, I came home today, I had to wake up this morning and go all the way to the fucking Bronx. That's them, that's my ride. I gotta get eye surgery next week. For what? I have a maculant pucker. What's that?

It's a thing on the back. Oh, whether or too close together. I'm always wondering that. No, that's not it. No. Listen. Hey, yeah, jeez. I can't.

Yo, you're fucking eyes are the easiest to draw. Just two dots and a bigger circle. Fucking BDI, fucking cartoon. What do you, what do you do? Like, I had my fucking, I, this is a, my, this is my girls here. My web guy, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it,

what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what did it, what it, what did it, what whole redesign. I got a, and I go, just look at his face. And he looked at a picture, he was, oh, I got that two seconds.

He fucking knew. Vom, vom, dot, dot, blip, blip. I'm asking McGee. It to draw his face, it takes four lines. Yeah. Yeah. That's so. But fantastic hair.

Thanks. He's got great hair. I love it. He does, he is great here. It's fucking I got my father's here. Yeah, my father's here. You know what that is then You know the father is dead. You know what condition? I love from an older gentleman Hair looks like the after photo of a hair treatment I can swim I can skydive. No one tell. I just got to get this tightened every

three months. More his wigs don't come off. I like a nice, more his wigs. Baby duck hair. We. Joe, my mother, my mother, I'll see you talk about as my hair. I was like this. I got to get a haircut She's like you got no problems with your head. She's like sassy about it. You got your father's hair. Yeah, why do you? You leave? I didn't tell you Kelly's gonna go do a spot. She's coming back downstairs. Can you record it please with your phone and and hey Give me a give me a break. I'm talking to cookies. Oh Kelly coffee

You dressed like that girl in shinlers list. I was gonna say pattington bear but I Think the pink coat Record you said anyways, so anyways listen to me shut your face Oh, it's a show good still going So yeah, we got no big fight last night. It was kind of harsh, man. It wasn't like fuck you, fuck you. It was like, look, I can't even deal with you right now. What's gonna happen, you guys are in a very pressure-filled

situation now. Not only is it, dude, the shit that I'm, all the stuff that we're putting together and all the shit that's coming to the house, and knowing that I'm gonna, I have to move. I can't, I'm not gonna be able to live here for, it's not gonna happen with a baby. I'm just not gonna be able to pull it off.

My apartment is the most insane single dude or couple apartment in New York City. Sir, basically you're gonna give me your apartment? Oh, yeah, you fucking, you get guy code too, and maybe I will if you can afford it. I'm a low level player on that one, ho. And you're gonna have to fucking get high and I can and goodness. Everything if you could afford it. I'm a low level player on that one, hoes. You're gonna have to fucking get high. And I can and goodness.

Everything in Jose Cuervo. Maybe who knows, I might write that out. But anyway, we made up this morning. I came home and it was like, you know, I'm sorry. And she cries when she cries. I don't care if I catch her fucking sucking my third father's cock. I'd be like, I'm it's okay, don't worry about it.

Just finish and we'll talk after. Yeah, women crying, I'm finished. On the same way, just like George Costanza had the best,'t worry about it, just finish and we'll talk after. I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just,

I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, cry and like, ah, stop. What do you tap their head? Yeah, come away. You don't like a girl, do you cry?

Oh, you were Irish Catholic? No, I cry. Are you Irish Catholic? No. What are you? She's African, sorry, I gave it away. Go. I was enraged with any religion.

But what about in Africa? You were born in, what are you, are you a publicist? I get excited. He's leading her up. Go, this is called being in love All right, I get that I don't know what that is But I did download all notes today and that made me feel something all right, so were you born in Africa? Yeah, I was born in South Africa Really? You're Afrogana Sarah are there any benefits of being African-American? What is it? I could say the N word

are there any benefits of being african-american i can say that and word that that doesn't work i am i am i am doing a work in your neighborhood around five o'clock everybody car i'm dating an african-american you're not you're dating a white chick who suppressed the africans yet for you

black people all these black people are af Americans, but they're not actually Americans. She actually, she actually suppressed black people the longest. Yeah, they did it. Yeah, they're the, they're the ones who fucking held on to soft folk and seros, and are so keeping apartheid going. You know, she, you guys can't have jobs. You know, she go back, go back to your shanty towns You know she still lived it. Oh she'd be a no she'd be like yeah, I agree

If you're kind of yeah, did you see the movie about the aliens? Oh, yeah, what's that called? Yeah, I thought it was really good It was insane. Do you guys remember the movie where the white guy boxes? Do you remember the soccer movie about South Africa? Have you ever done comedy there? you know big J was there once did you know the Cape Town I was I was actually a big comedy festival in South Africa you never made a South African comic that's funny funny yeah yeah because if South or Australian one yeah yeah because of south or australian one yeah that that well that's true

uh... well it's in general well because it's not it's i think it's i think comedy honest to god is an american thing well talk to the british about that in montreal this year i heard remember what i told you that story to british comedians were shitting on american comedy and like what the fuck are you talking about it but they have to we don't even shit on them because it's just we don't even care yeah you know it's just we don't even care

Yeah, you know, it's like the Yankees to a Red Sox fan What? No, it's it's like look we don't give a shit. We don't care. We don't care about English comics They just think but they hate us. They have to they they're envies of us because we were so goddamn good at it Which is I mean flawlessly it's in us to be funny. You don't know about a flawless, but... It's flawless. Lee.

I see a lot of flaws out here in American college. Wow, dude, come on, you got a nitpick. But there's so many better ones out here. Yeah, dude, there's so many, there's so much comedy is funny here. Our best is way better than their best. I think Canada has a couple of funny. I would say yeah lots of them I would say I would say England has the best sketch group of all time. I'll say this. I love English comedy

Oh, yeah, yeah, love it. I love comedy acting and English There's been a bunch of great comedians to come out of England. Yeah, you know Jim Jeffries got really good there He's Australian. Yeah, but he got good in it. Yeah, but it doesn't matter You're Australian don't go up a lot and go and roll Very funny. I think there's funny comics from Canada Ricky. Javace is funny. I mean they look you did you're never gonna get the The next prior carlin. I do we always have to bring those two fucking jackoffs up. Why those are our best You just like that your list ended there prior carlin. That's it boom Timmy yeah, Paula Poundstone uh Paul Poundstone is very funny in her day yeah she was great we have mode Ellen generous his specials I will put those she's funny she is fucking ridiculously funny Dana Carvey's 94 HBO special

he stinks that's not that one's a great hb on special is good to you because you free does characters To do I know I love your voices dude. I don't and I'm trying to listen you're making this. It's all I have Bobby You guys go home and have love. Yeah, I have Bong hits well in my voice stop doing other people and maybe somebody will open up and Be there for you. I you Maybe just be Dan right now. I'm Dan look at me. He's looking me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me Dan Hi, Dan. Oh, yeah Dan look at me No, Dan look at me Stay away from me Dan you're not my room

Dan I can't believe this punk has got worse when Kelly left There you go Joe's got a point I guess don't fucking let him muscle you out of that little Listen he's on top of the world. I do you have it fun? Well, if Joe's not having fun no one can have I fun. I know, apparently. When we dim the lights. What do you mean? Yeah. Let's dim the lights. So, why don't you go piss?

Then we can have it the way we were talking about having it. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Alright, go ahead, piss. So, anyways. I, um... Sarah, do you want to tell your story about the poop? How? What?

I don't have to. Do you know how to bring a fucking podcast to a screeching halt? At halt, because you have the pain she's gone. Your couple energy is fucking just dead. Well, I want you to really like my girlfriend, because I'm gonna propose and I want you to be in the wedding. If you want to do it right now, like sort of just did.

I want you to agree to be in the wedding before I ask you. I'm in the wedding. I'm in the wedding. I'm in it. All right. Well, we have to do it. No, we'll do it right in the fuck now. Take a sip of your Coke, spit it in the mouth. That's the way they do it in the fucking the Key West.

Right? The Key West. Yeah, take a sip, spit it in her face and go marry me. And she does it back and then you're married. We should do that in a restaurant. Yeah. Well, if you are, do it this way. In Moosejaw, Canada, lick just one of her front teeth

and then he dries it off, and then we stick a fucking piece of paper on it. And if it sticks, you're married. If it doesn't, you're not married. That's what they do in Moosejaw. Is that true? No. I don't know. You do? Well, I thought, I don't know, do well I thought I don't know it's not because it was

Yeah, you know, you know I banged a chick from Moose jaw she looked like David Letterman never tired. No Yeah, it was good missing a two closest. No, she had that gap thing was close to ever gonna get on the fucking David Letterman A lusty woman I don't know I don't know, but I love the gap. I love the I love the gap. I love a flaw. I don't like a gap. I don't like the flaws and this is weird coming from me. I don't like flaws teeth flaws in a girl. You like nice teeth. Bad breath and bad teeth on a girl is very off-putting. Well bad breath is not a good for a woman No, bad breath in a woman is bad. Yeah, it's really just bad. Yeah, not that any girls listen to the show, but I would be like, ladies.

A lot of girls listen to the show. Heather, Heather, she donates every week. She's pretty good. She's pretty good. Well, because you don't ask, and you get a girlfriend, they don't want to fucking step on toes. Great toes in Sarah.

I mean, how long can I ask personal questions? I guess. Well, yeah, I mean, what the fuck? You shit in the shoe and I'll shit on her leg. I like that we were talking about me having herpes earlier. I want to know what the shit story your story is. The one where, was before you went to the Seattle comedy competition.

No, that's my story. That's my story. Oh, my shit story. Oh, no's my story. That's my story. Oh, my shit story. Oh, no, this was when I was a kid. It still haunts me to this day of where I grew up. I was playing, like, practicing soccer, my backyard, which also had a trail that led to a bridge.

And my two girlfriends at the time were like, one of their sisters was down at the bridge trying to flirt with a guy. Yeah. And they were like, come on, we're gonna go down and bear a Stephanie. Just come on, we'll figure something out. And then I was like, okay, and at the time

I had bikers shorts on because it was the 90s. Yeah. And I also had a headband that was also on the grass and I picked it up and was like, I know I'll put it in my pants and I'll click a tick. And then, uh, hang on, I'm sorry, classic. Can you stuff for one second? What did you say? I picked up the bandana that I had and just put it in your pants. And put on my pants to make it seem like I had like a bulge or a bulge. Yeah. So we went down there and then my art game plan was to act like I had Down syndrome

and I would run past. It doesn't make any sense, but when you're like 14, that's 14. That makes perfect sense to me. Where your friend is trying to fuck somebody and see you pretend to be retarded with a dick. Yeah, that makes perfect sense to everybody that's not all cylinders to me. You got a winner, Joe. I can't wait to have kids. Everybody that's not all cylinders to me. You're gonna win a Joe

Can't wait to have kids the fucking run around my king go Dess suck my dick suck my dick Herpes Kids like never be yeah, yeah, they come out with her They don't most definitely acquire her piece No, well clearly they're gonna be drunks. I mean that's pretty much They're not gonna be drunks because you know you're both not drunk. You're gonna actually raise them and you understand how great your kids are gonna be But all right keep going we have kids. Yeah, you have kids now No, no, but keep yeah What I'm saying is is that if you guys do get married if you balls up and do marry this girl and and and can you get married and not have kids? What's wrong with that you can but you it's not it don't get married. If you balls up and do marry this girl and- Can you get married and not have kids?

What's wrong with that? You can, but it's not, don't get married. You get married, listen, you get married to have children. Other than that, you don't have to fucking get married. Don't get married, just live together. You've been married for 1100 years and you never had kids. Five years you fucking jackass. Well, that's quite a few.

Yeah, but I did it because I knew I was gonna have a kid someday. All right, all right, all right. Let's get back to the fucking story. No, I'm good. That's good. That's a good thing to talk about. Don't stop dictating where we go because you feel uncomfortable. What makes you think that?

My elbows are both behind my body. When I'm saying that if you get married, you're gonna have a kid. I mean, that's what you get married for. I wouldn't have married Don if I wasn't planning on to have a, to someday have a kid. I mean, that's what you get married for. I wouldn't have married Don if I was in planning on to have a, to someday have a child together in a way to tax breaks. Tax breaks were two. That's pretty cool.

Yeah, really cool. Like a grand or something. A-ish. A month. What? No, I'm kidding, I don't know what it was, but it's a lot of money. Yeah.

Phil, you wanna get married? Still anyways. Well, I wanna hear the end of the story. Yeah, so you got a dick. Yeah, a dick. You have a dick, and then you run out. Yeah, so you're retarded. I was retarded.

And at that moment, the guy was like, oh man, look at her. She's retarded. And then I started feeling self-conscious about it. That I broke character and was like, I'm not retarded. And then I was like, and he was like, oh, if you're not retarded, why do you have a bulge in your pants? And then I pulled out the bandana and I guess when I picked it up off the grass, I also grabbed a big chunk of dog shit.

Oh! And so when I was like, I'm not retarded, turds flew out of my pants. And then he was like, oh my god, she shit her pants. And in my mind, I thought it would be better if I was like, it's not my shit. It's a dog turds thinking that that would save me. He's like, that's so much worse. Why do you have dog shit in your pants?

And then I still get it late? If you don't marry her you're a fucking moron You're a moron if you don't marry a girl who could just openly tell that story I love this by the way. I don't like this all First of all, couldn't we we couldn't just give the story some like a great ah, great story. You gotta say, let's go straight into me being married. We said, no, I'm not saying it seriously. You fucking moron. I'm saying that she's, I'm using,

well I wanna marry her. Why are you shut up? I'm saying that, I'm saying that she's so awesome for telling the story, you should marry her. But I'm being, I'm joking, it's not real. I don't really want you to marry a fucking nutcase. I should've been getting married or not. You don't want me to marry?

Do you not like her? Oh, God, I hope she's chill. What the fuck is psychosis is just? Why don't you like her? I gotta turn the lights off. I think that's the fucking problem. I don't know why you don't like her. I think you can marry her.

Oh, God. I love you, girl. I think she's such a sweetheart. For the sake of you, love my girl. What the fuck are you talking about? You know, I love you girl. I think she's such a sweetheart. From the sack, she can't. What the fuck are you talking about? You know, I love her. Like Vikings. We share. What? You guys are trying to be Eskimo brother.

Well, then a share. She came over with me and Don, last week. I don't know. We share. How great would that be? What? If we all shared. I bring nothing, so I would just... If me, if Don and her got along,

I think Don would be like this. What's with that small dick? That's how I make sure. Just me? No, no, for me. I've done ever, Don. With my podcast? Yeah.

We used to do that at my house and she's never allowed to talk. I would say, you don't talk on the podcast, but she always would. Yeah. She doesn't listen to the joke. But she listened to the podcast? I know I really didn't want it. Okay, but she always would. She doesn't listen to the podcast. But she listened to the podcast. I know I really didn't want to. Okay, I was very good, dead serious.

When I was like, shout out, I meant it. But she would never listen to me ever. I have two questions. One is, does she listen to the podcast? And the second question is, does she hate me? No, my wife actually really adores you. Really? She adores you and Dan and Kelly.

And yeah. What about D'arosa? She of course she likes D'arosa. That's never been said ever in the history of language. Well, no. Of course they love D'arosa. Look man, D'arosa is as much shit as I give him. He's, you know, I've been through a lot with that little punk. You know what I mean? So I love D'arosa. I love him too. Yeah, I mean way more than other Joe. That's what you're on there. Now you can hear right now. So you guys are in love. That's good, man.

She likes me though. You know what, I forgot. I always forget that you're fucking nuts. Do you think everyone hates that? Yeah, I know he does. That's true. You know I don't. I love him. And it doesn't matter if I'm very know, I don't I love it. It doesn't matter

We're very open about it, but if it doesn't matter if my wife likes you or not it matters to me No, but if she does I love you and I want people that love you to love me. It's not the most fact our relationship So she doesn't like me that's what it seems like It's very natural, but you want don't you want my girlfriend to like you and on all vice versa So we were all a big happy family. Why are you not listening to me? I am listening keep going Is there anyone that doesn't like you? That's a good that's a good terrible people do you who? Who I did told me not to tell you it's called the industry

Hey Hey, I got, I got, I got, I got a side, I got management now. Well, you do. That's so exciting. Congratulations. Who are you calling? Somebody that doesn't like me? Hang on. Hang on. Well, she's the glue that holds this together. It's not the we've shut up. My wife, bang it, somebody. Why is she not not home Frank Rizzo alright he's

see ya hey Rolfing sounds like a jerk who is he? oh god oh shit whoa that could have been fun I did I actually did that I was there who with who he chose it was not Joe's number it was someone else's number it was Rob's plans I don't know somebody's number I fucking do stuff I forgot you just left it on the podcast and it's like thank you for calling Kelly went to do a set she'll be back she went to the village land she's gonna do a set why have you been there? Yeah, how long you been doing comedy?

Talking on the microphone It started in 99 if your girl does it again up she has to leave okay what are you saying? I started um thinking 99 because there's a whole bunch of y2k jokes at that time y2k we're gonna switch that what happened oh god the end of the world, 2000, remember, 2,000 zero, zero body, that came. That was way before that. Yeah, but the world was gonna end. Everything was gonna be gone and was still here. I would have a compound in Colorado,

but your shotgun. Hey, wouldn't you have a fuck, can you get that, Phil? What'd you do with three minutes? Did you see Phil's face? He just went, sorry, Phil. Kelly's not here to open the door for Kelly. Wouldn't you never fuck you get that fill what you do it? Three minutes. He fills face he's Sorry Phil Kelly's not here to open the door for Kelly. Yeah I hope my girlfriend doesn't see Phil's face. She'll leave me like I his handsome fucking a He's a nine. Yeah, thank God. I'm just glad Phil doesn't do comedy that would just suck

He really does look like a like a skin a max actor. Well, he know he looks like it wouldn't be good enough I think he'll be a leading man. Well, he, nobody looks at me. It wouldn't be good enough. I think it'd be a leading man. No, he'd be leading man in Mexican movies. Oras and Nomrem, Nomrem se fiel. Yeah, he would cut, and he'd try to do one like movie. He'd try to go over on one and it wouldn't do good. And you have to go right back to Mexican movies.

Phil, I believe in you. I think you'd be terrific at whatever you, whatever you chose to do. I think you could be a real, really man. I know, he'd do some fucking, he'd do one good movie in America, like an action film and it was the wrong choice. And then he'd have to go back to doing,

so like, I was a motorcycle across the South America. De la Mundo. The film's in Houston. What happened? It was fine, there was two on the It's Memphis. Look at her boobs. There was two people, did you record it? All right, boobs. Oh shit. There was two people did you record it? All right, let me see it. Do you guys want to listen to it? Oh?

My word. Do I not want to listen to that? Do we have a choice? Hey, sure you don't want to try Don again? So you've attended to be retarded, but they were shitting you. What was your motivation for that character? I had to do a bit of, there were two people, but the two people were very into it, and they were great, and they were good laughers. But I had to do a bit of shitty cry work at the beginning.

But I wanted to do my joke, so the comics were laughing and stuff. That's literally the old comedy, you know, the comics will laugh and stuff. That's literally the old, that's the old comedy, you know, folk tale with a calling and like, on your way to the club, yeah, I was the crowd. There's only one guy, but he's a laffer. Yeah. But Joey, if I had to eat and shit, I would say, oh, that's the worst thing, please don't play that.

But I mean, it's just, it's a lot of, like fucking, Kelly, cell phone cases, the worst. My man, she had that. Yeah, but it's like, me me wearing a magnet just hanging off her phone And I want to talk about last night Bobby. You can't forget. Yep, absolutely I'm pretty good. I would you fucking sprin open. Yes, I ran across the road and I come back all right here Something like more than two people. Yeah, that's more than two people.

That was like a ronchy start, too. The guy I followed, the guy I followed ended, we did a big joke about. Like, take a stick out, take his dick out, take his dick out. It's Kelly at a gang bank, you're like, hey! And what is everyone get you dick set? And Huggamon was the only one. Oh, what are you out of my gang bank? Oh, you're all, oh!

We all fucked this comedy in sex and drama! Who's ready to pay on this map? Who wants to do a fucking womanery? Ooh, I want two, three to time. I'm a sickie CEO. I'm not a non-numbie. Sarah, if you follow a guy who's like, take a bout dick out, take a bout dick out, you gotta like, so I'm taking my dick out.

Like, when you follow them, you can't get your reference in there. Pussy out. Take that pussy out. Take that pussy out. That's not fair. Yeah. John Nutka.

Wait a minute, stop. John Nutka just said, thank you for doing that to two people and I wrote you want to fuck Just texted it back It's like finally finally that is awful I am petrified of the response. I hope it's a picture of his car God above oh get him to send a picture of his car If there's a god above oh get him to send a picture of his dick Wait, why don't we listen to Kelly's first recording and then take a picture of your tits Bobby and then send it as hers Even if his hair they'll buy it

Now it's funny Now we're back. I'll take a fat joke as long as you make it a fat joke in Harry joke about her He punched up the fat jacket. All right here we go ready. Is it the first one? That's on it. That's the same set yet dumb dumb no no No, that's how the shut up What do you do? Soda's bits? I'm one of these sets. You look very skeptical about us doing any of those sets. Oh, sorry. You ever beat a bad neighborhood?

I don't know. Shut up. Shut up. I don't know the set you playing. I'm playing the... I'm trying to see if you made any progress. Shut up. I'm trying to see if you made any progress.

From the first time you made a recording on this phone, to now. This is awful. I don't like any of that. Oh. Russian to the scariest white people. It's probably an open mic. could like this is a show you could not get that out could you? Well Joe's laughing so hard. I wanted to keep going I know but you just repeated the same joke I laughed at already. I know but no one heard you laughing

Yeah, but you know what learn to shut your characters down. I can't This is a open mic by the way First of all every show you're on. Let me just go through this. I'll hit anyone. It'll be an open mic. All right, we'll go to this one. Bobby, that's super neat.

It's very funny, young lady. All of this sitting. Give it up for the very funny Kelly for Stuker. Everybody come. We're a light jazz intro. I'm going to be a heart. I'm going to be a heart. I'm going to be a heart.

I'm going to be a heart. I'm going to be a heart. I'm going to be a heart. I'm going to be a heart. I a piece of shit this show is I'll see this set Yeah, gosh Should I take a shit is that what we want? I'm so sorry one's been doing You pull things it's too big and the market broke it was Thank you. I will not that was that hopefully soon. That was actually God That was that hopefully soon that was actually God

God they're actually yeah, I would have said I would Wasn't even a heck of a interview. Yeah. Where exactly you're from, and I'm kind of my response. Right, I'm South of Bizzbang. I'm going back in a couple of weeks or anything. You want to see that? It's a Western regional dialogue. Sounds like inside the actress studio. What was your motivation?

What is your favorite curse word? All right, ready? Here we go. If you do, we can. Oh, that's the penalty guides. Here we go, ready? That works. Oh, this office.

Why would you have that? Is that because it's a you? you have you been there sounds like a public court wait wait wait All right stop that sounds like a court piece. I wish you yeah, we pray to the answer Joe Hang on hang on hang on what's this hello? Hello Call you're on you're on my podcast call you know you're on you're on my podcast uh... calling my phone's on my podcast with uh... dancota joe list sarah telemush

joe's girlfriend and kelly for still could hide doing fine uh... hey callin hi callin what's happening that that not comedy i certainly don't have I certainly you guys don't have

clearance for this can we email calling the bandana we have a bomb we have a bomb bandana when you throw a bomb you have to tie the bandana bandana around your microphone when you throw a stinker and Joe just said can we email you the bandana I don't think that was very nice. Yeah I don't know. First of all I don't think it was fair because I'm already a little bit of a joke. I'm already a god didn't just manage Joe. True.

I'm sorry. You know maybe a little bit of a truth maybe I mean once again this is from my left field a little bit of it could be the fact that being and Dan Soder are doing a kick not me and Joe he might use the only two kids with Joe I'm doing one with Dan Soder maybe get all resentment that came out just then uh... yeah yeah I guess you're right

what's your name? you really fucking colleges shut your fucking whole life down well I know that this is I mean honestly god you fight with joke around until fucking comment and the issue. I'm sorry What the fuck stick up for yourself list? Well, I didn't it was that I felt like that was a bit you're not getting the gig anyways

Well, I'm gonna call for it. It's over now stick up for yourself list I mean, I don't know. I feel like we're still friends. I don't know what to say here What I mean, I don't know. I feel like we're still friends. I don't know what to say here. Are you guys up with you guys on a joke? What? Are you guys on a joke? Yeah, we're upstairs at the button buzzer number four. Why did that get a laugh? Yeah, well, we were talking about actually we're talking about Joe brought his girlfriend in tonight who's very adorable and lovable and then Kelly just went did a fucking two-minute

set in front of two people and we were literally going over her set literally literally fucking fuck you oh you're okay to fuck with me but not calling I fucked with Colin and then he made me sad because I have no money. So do makes 950 thousand dollars a year I'm pulling in 11k I could use this gig and then he makes me feel bad about it. Gee, who is? What is so does so does so does make a lot of money? No, yes, yes, a lot of money So do makes more money than me. No, I don't

Yeah, he's make because he's fucking Mr. Likeable, he's Mr. Corporate, he's right down the middle, doesn't offend, doesn't fucking make people mad, makes everybody laugh, he's got these fucking round, beautiful eyes. I noticed you're on my fucking Picasso. You threw in, makes everyone laugh. What was that? Yeah, I just threw that in to make him feel good. Thank you. And Colin, they are completely inaccurate and giannes is delicious so that's all that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha which you are the city all that you work out and then stupid friend police

don't say what it is that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that love that you fucking know exactly her someone stalker but he's a fucking he know he's just a savant he lives across the right but he know calling those every week when i thought he knows where i am every week where am i this week calling oh shit shit shit i was afraid you're gonna fuck it up he got me a hold on hold on let me think not more to me and please fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, please fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. He'll get it. Hold on. I'll get it

And I'm not cheating. I'm not looking at my computer. All right. Hold on hold I'll give you I'll tell you one thing right now what it's it's it's it's far away hold on Shit right now what it's it's it's far away hold on shit is this a magic trick? is he a psychic or does he know? he knows no I know but I can't get it I'm not trying to look at the computer

I'll get it I'll get the fuck he's known where I've been every day every week for years he'll say he'll call he'll we'll be talking to you like how is you going out to Wherever this week how the fuck do you know he knows he just memorizes And being recorded hold on oh shoot I'm holding on I know come on come on son

on point and and and and and and and

and and and and I'm gonna take a fucking horrible guess wait wait Well only six clubs will headline Bobby so I was a good one at bomb cuz the mighty colon is on I left Me you fucking is you curious all right. I've always got you back You know didn't laugh you know and jar and fucking Dan Bobby clearly works on

the one time I can't fucking do what are you doing this week and you want to do a show yeah terrible Detroit I tried to get him to go to college with me you can't go now man did you say it what you're banned oh yeah what well how long does the colon bit go on I mean I know he has a quite a resume i think this is really it usually it usually takes a couple they can't get me i think i think that i think that colon is a comedic genius

for making this interesting for twenty seconds but it's three minutes already uh... why are you being from comics because they are okay yeah i'm down to a couple places this is remember i can easily change the google shit i chose not to it's i'm saying it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's a casino type place but i'm not sure it's either

it's either big or so fox words nope that's not going nope big or so fox words nope no the biggest of foxwoods nope that's a no big is a box what's nope dot andy no i'm in minnesota the house of comedy riprodsons house of comedy the mall of america the largest mall in these great states when this week and there's a friday saturday sunday when you think it's a box what's on the foxwoods i don't know but i'm in a ron i'm at a casino next week. I think of the week after after I get my eyes surgery

All right, well listen the couple they're whispering to each other now like a fucking shitty couple in a movie. Oh So I'll talk to you more. I'll talk to you later buddy Bye calling Roberto can I just tell you that I'll see that boy message me back. What do you say? He uh what did you do right here? We said one of fuck yeah you want to fuck and he wrote nah. Yeah. If you want to see it all funny that is yeah if a not even a fucking, he went nah, he didn't say no, no thank you.

He went nah. He's like hey, do you wanna get a hot dog right now? Can you ride back and tell him that it's the same? Well, this is different interpretations. He could have been like this. You do it, tell me. No. He's gonna think you, but he's gonna think that

I'm gonna be like making up this story. No, he's not. No, he's not. That was Robert, he grabbed my phone, he's an asshole, he'll know it's me. All right, all right So I let me ask you question Kelly. Yeah, man. I type that I type it back that it was me. What how is that any different? Yeah, you typing it you might you might put a dude in there put an accent on the box Or you could just do that. Oh, you could just do that. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. That was

Really dumb. Yeah, that was really dumb. You know, it's Are you calling out? I'm worried about my wife now. She should be home. She's not fucking home. I mean, is she you know some guys are into that pregnant shit Where is she? What she doing? Maybe she's mad at you, call from Soda's phone. That's fucking, I would fucking punch him in his head. It wouldn't even ring. She used to say, wait for me. She answered, oh, I forgot about it again.

It's so dangerous, I love it. I'm dangerous, Bob, hello. Come on my yacht and swim with the sharks. I don't like your characters. I kind of like that character. I don't, you know. I like dangerous, but I don't like most of them, but that was kind of fun.

Thank you, dangerous, Bobby. Come on, come on, come on to my house. I like it. Clifton, off my roof. I like big, big, big. Next time I bring my girl, can we have Linda be the photographer? Look how sexy he is.

Look at this, he's underlit. Yeah. I wanna fuck him. I how sexy he is. Look at this. He's under lit. Yeah. I want to fuck him. Dude, he's sexy. Everybody's sexy for a different country. Not here. No, he's sexy. He's like a professional soccer player, sexy.

Yeah, he's fucking European sexy. He's the five o'clock shadow. He just shaved eight minutes ago. No, but no girl, even like he's getting their pussy licked by that. It just hurts. It turns red and gets all fucked up. That fuck, what, you had you pussy eaten by Phil?

No, you do cuz you're weird and you got a meaty beefy pussy from Australia Fucking Back to back a really yeah, you have to tend to rise your pussy with a mallet before you lick it Hey, what's up girlfriend? And now a guest spot on the YKWD podcast by Nate Bergazzi. What's up everybody? Thanks for having me tonight. Bobby, I'm gonna let you know that I met a comic this week and he was telling me about

how you were the first comic he ever saw live and you really motivated him to you know get into comedy you inspired him. So it meant a lot to him and I told him I was talking to you, felt cool bragging about it. So it's very cool and I want to give him a shout out. His name is, I'm trying to say the right, Kelly Fistuka is his name. So yeah, did you like that? Let me tell you. Alright folks, that's the kind of jokes you get if you follow at Nate Bargettse. That's what I bring to the table. I bring jokes. I bring funny jokes. I'm not going to bog you down and do a thousand

tweets all day. I'm just do jokes. I'm not gonna bog you down and do a thousand tweets all day I'm was just do jokes. I'm not gonna have all my Twitter just be responses You know who does stuff like that a young man by the name of Dan Sotter Sotter What he just quit following him I? Did years ago before Twitter got started. Alright, let me go through.

If you're still on the fence, this is where you had a couple of dance soda tweets. Here's one. To think as a kid, I wanted to be a fighter pilot and now as an adult, I can't decide if I have to poop or not before getting on my flight. I think I speak for everybody when I say, P-U. Let's go to another one.

Cab driver on the way to the airport. Did you just say pal? Me? Yeah just ripped one back here. I thought it needed a sound effect. Cab driver said fair. He probably said fair if you told him that joke. Right there was two poop jokes folks. One was a pooping joke. The other one was a poop joke. Here's another one. Seriously, where is the axe Apollo guy that I probably hate?

Hey guy I should be unfollowing. Come on folks let's get it together alright. Follow Nate Bargettsy. Leave Dan Soder behind, you can still follow him, just hide his tweets. I don't know if you can even do that on Twitter, but just do it. All right, just do it.

That's what it's about. Also, I want you to know, this Monday I will be on Conan. I don't know when this thing is going to air. So either this Monday I'll be on Conan or last Monday I was on Conan or ten years ago I used to do comedy I did Conan once. Whenever this airs, thanks for listening, thanks for coming out tonight. Don't forget Conan Monday. Bobby, you know what, deed?

What's happening YKWD fans? Come see me live. Here's my dates for this month. So if you're in the area and you don't come and see me, you're an asshole. And so is your girlfriend. So here are the dates for this month where you can come see me live at a comedy club near you. April 13th, the comedy shop, Rockaway, New Jersey, one night and one night only. Trying to get this on the schedule for a while. I'm psyched to be playing Jersey, one of my favorite, if not not favorite place to play because you guys always come out in fucking droves to support my shows. April 13th, the comedy shop, a rock away in New Jersey.

April 17th, I am at the Empire City Casino in Yonkers, New York. April 17th. So let's hope I don't get stabbed. Come out to that if you live in Yonkers get Sam down to that show April 18th 19th 20th I'm gonna be in Scottsdale Arizona at stand-up Scottsdale now play the club haven't been to Arizona and Probably eight years so I can't wait to get out there to AZ, is that what you guys call it? AZ. For the rest of my dates go to robbercallylive.com, hit the tour button, get my app on iTunes, it's free, and you

can get all my tour dates when I'm coming in. You're the app is cool too, if you have an iPhone, you just turn the app on and if I'm within a hundred miles of you, it will automatically tell you and give you an option to buy tickets, fucker. So make sure you check me out, go to my website and find out when I'm coming to your area, get all your friends and family members and get some people you don't like. This is Bob Bobby. Hello. Come on over to my house and play with my bull. He has a lot of bull. Dangerous Bobby owns a bull.

Yeah, I'll do this bull. They're a save me. I like dangerous. Yeah, come on over. Let's take my Jeep with around corners because it kind of rolled over. It's a very dangerous Jeep. I'm liking this. I'm going to parachute and we're just civil wear on the back of the bag.

That's cartoonish. That's not fun. That's it That's just responsible. No a civil way. I'm out the plane pick us up halfway down Okay, let's take a hot air balloon up. That's only two of four keep it Three people yeah, then tuning out what fighting with your girlfriend This is the best mood I've ever seen you in you two wife whatever. Well, here's a deal You're very chipper and very annoying to be honest. Whoa!

Exhausting is what I meant. I'd love to stick an apple in your mouth if it could fit. No. That's me. That's cool. Kelly was still laughing at the previous show. That's a bomb. The laugh just carried into the fucking... That was a blow.

You wrote the wave. Give me a break. I don't like these lights I don't give a shit It doesn't matter I don't like them What light do you want on? I just said I want no lights

No you're not having no light I want like we're sitting around talking like adults It doesn't happen It doesn't happen Bobby you're not high You're sitting like you just walked out of the shower room And someone was in there and you didn't realize Covering your nipples Keep going That was pretty funny and it got a laugh over there. I got a laugh at him because I won't change

I feel like I'm at a trendy Japanese place. It doesn't matter New sushi do it. I don't like it at all with a sushi comes around you get to get to the I can't the colored plane It's just a blonde chick with fucking high-stri eyeliner on the side of her. No. Oh, right. Where's that band-in? Here's a good to see old friend I'm just an eye liner on the side of her. No, all right, where's that band in? I keep it here, so I'm gonna take it. Good to see you old friend. Yeah. I had a great, I had one of the best experiences this week in Cleveland, which I know is just,

I don't know if it's ever been said. I love Cleveland too, because they have such a shitty self-esteem as a crowd. I was like, dude, I'm really happy to be here, and they just laughed. I was like, no, I'm legitimately happy to be here and they just laughed. Like, I was like, no, I'm legitimately happy to be back in Cleveland. But they think it's a joke because Cleveland just sucks. And I was a true believer.

And last time I was in Cleveland, what are you doing? Nothing. Listen. Well, listen, don't put your fucking microphone in your head. Like I just a fucking dumb dog sometimes. I can't argue. Sometimes. Take it. So I I can't argue. Sometimes. Ah, take it. So I had a fucking, a blast.

Cleveland is one of the hippest coolest fucking places I've been to in a long time. I know a lot has changed, man. Even the comedy scene. First of all, the club I played, Hilarities, one of, if not the best club in America. It's crazy. You ever get a chance to play hilarities?

Do it. Have you been there, Joe? You ever go with anybody? No. Dude, it's on fourth street, which is, you know, the street in downtown, one of the cool little spots. They have two restaurants with iron chefs, Lola and the southern green street tavern,

I think it is, this other restaurant. Some of the most amazing restaurants you'll ever fucking go to in your life are in Cleveland. It's crazy. This club upstairs is a huge restaurant downstairs, theater room with a balcony. You could film a special in this comedy room. It's so beautiful. Off to the left, they have another room that they do burlesque in on Friday.

Comedy, open mic on Saturday late Saturday late while the other show's going on. They have a martini bar with a singer. So during my show, basically, they have the huge show going on. They have this other side comedy show going on for local guys. And then they have, they have a singer, a beautiful black chick who sings in the martini bar. It's fucking like Vegas in Cleveland.

It's crazy artsy, cool place. As Cleveland just been doing that, just putting out the word across the United States, like, oh, he stink. I wouldn't go here and then it's just awesome. I don't know. No, I think that the economy is coming back. I think that because it's so cheap to live there,

I mean, you can buy a house for $150,000? No, $150,000. We're almost. So, but it's just cheap for people to go there. And like this kid said, people who usually would leave Cleveland and go to New York, he's like, you know what,

fuck it, I'm just gonna stay here because it's becoming like Austin. It's a very hip artsy place. This kid of Vermont took me to all these crazy little joints in these cool little places. Took me to this barbecue place Friday night that I, we got these, this is best barbecue, it was like two in the morning and we got there and,

you know, I was like, all right, dude, I made him get out of the car, I wouldn't get out of the car. I was like, no, I'm not going in there. They had bulletproof glass, a lot of black people. Oh, the opposite of Sarah's hometown. Is that Louis J. Gomez? Yeah, yeah. No, it was fucking unbelievable. I had a blast in Cleveland the time. I was like, I'm not going to be a big fan of the show. I'm not going to be a big fan of the show.

I'm not going to be a big fan of the show. I'm not going to be a big fan of the show. I'm not going to be a big fan of the show. I'm not going to be a big fan of the show. I'm not going to be a big fan of the show. I'm not going to be a big fan of the

show. I'm not going to be a big fan of the show. I'm not going to be a big fan of the show. I'm not going to be a big fan of the show. I'm not going to be a big fan of the show. I'm not going to be a big fan of the show. I'm not going to be a big fan of the

show. I'm not going to be a big fan of the show. I'm not going to be a big fan of the show. I'm not going to be a big fan of the show. I'm not going to be a big fan of the show. I'm not going to be a big fan of the show. Like a family we're gonna fight me the mother the father the daughter The son and my friends say his fucking they were all gonna They were all like let's go you fucking. I was like fucking. Let's do it last time like three years ago this time Unfuckin believable shows great shows So I had so I can't believe how much of a good time I had in Cleveland So I had so I can't believe how much of a good time I had in Cleveland

And I front parts of it like their downtown is all boarded up. It's always cold It's it's not and I was just there like a few months ago, but they one part I mean the downtown there's a lot of downtown. There's a lot of spots now you have to find there is a shitty Little Harley's great. Great little Italy little little yeah fucking could I do that nine more fucking times right Cleveland probably Bobby's phone she's following I'm sure I have to get it again it's like I have to read it from Jay it's like we're going to go reading a script of a movie I have to do stage the stage fucking Bobby drops phone on ground to get subset. So, can you write it better? So, no, it's like, little like four streets is cool. Then they took me over this, like, this open mic that they did that was fucking great

in this cool bar upstairs and downstairs. It was just this, you know, a bunch of comics just hanging out waiting to go on. It was fucking awesome. I just love the scene No, you know you fight. I just don't the fucking crazy The fucking brown stink. I tell you this dog. Ron's not coming back dead if I had a if I had a millions of dollars I'd buy it I'd buy a place in Cleveland. I'd buy yeah you get the You can buy yeah, honest to God you could probably get

You can buy yeah honest to God you can probably get Bobby the sickest of Cleveland Hey Daniel Bobby come over here. I'm gonna pull Jacob's field is terrific great ballpark. They have Unbelievable unbelievable. I had a blast everything I believe Oh Baby You say

The day you say You say I'm late I want to thank the 200 people are still listening to this episode I don't hate when you do that you do that every fucking week. I don't do it every week every week Every week, yeah, halfway through you go to Oh, you're a quiet man. Six miles six It's a you're gonna talk over me over the fucking you dumb voices I you're both in trouble. I love it. I'm insecure. I'm super weak. Fuck it. I want to happen. Oh at least we started getting funny now Do you listen to the episodes after? Yeah, I'm never listening to one. I'm probably just saying horrible things that's out there in the ethers. What's that word mean?

ethers? Yeah, I have no idea. I use it quite a bit. It means the internet. All right. No. No. I mean the atmosphere. I don't know. Right? Ether? Can you please? Ether, that's when you want to take a woman down. Ether, what's that last Sunday? Why does yours always go to rape? Because if I'm wrong, thanks. I'll try it again. I guess. Ethan, wasn't that last Sunday when Jesus rose? Can you give me a favor?

Ethan's Sunday? Give me a favor. Punch yourself on the face. Sarah liked it. She didn't say it loud enough. I love Sarah. She has to. No, she doesn't.

No. She doesn't have it most of the things that I said. She's actually pretty enough to leave Yeah, don't feel like girlfriend pretty. I called you girlfriend pretty. I said don't I Like possessive Joe. I didn't like what possessive Joe's like what do you think? I didn't like when guys would go like my friends We'll go how's your wife? I didn't like that Just man. I just sounded go, how's your wife? I didn't like that.

I was just sounding creepy, how's your wife? No, no, you're fucked, what you mean? Well, you ask him, don't call her my wife. What the fuck are you doing? Let's like, I tried doing it a bit, but when you first start dating a girl, you want your friends to think she's hot, and like she's hot, right?

But then like two weeks in, if they're like, your girlfriend's hot, you're like, what the fuck does that mean? You know? Yeah. That was a weird point. It wasn't supposed to be a big one. I was like, I got, you went to my last set? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Please ask me about my day. You see this big lighting rig I bought? It's big lighting rig and there's all these hot lights up there. I mean, real stage lights that I bought.

I bought those hoping that something that they'd fall on Kelly's head. Well, I wish it would have been before she told you to ask her about her day. Kelly, can you please not show me your cleavage? That was like a flat tie, but you roved the whole way all the time. You could go and down your own roll. You made it to 45th Street in 10th. You got where you were going, but yeah That was when he's making fun of me too

Maybe it's the lights maybe I should the lights out. Let's see if the show picks up with that like guarantee it will Back in their name she's gonna ask me if I had sex in the dark We're gonna be in the dark with anyone in this room like a dark podcast. We let's do it. All right. Let's do it Kill the lights which Phil Filts. Yeah, here we go. Shut the lights Can we not do this? No, they make you now in the couch so why did they're a couple? Yeah, this is fun. We're gonna I like this lighting right here. I think this grab that grab that light

Hit that light in the corner. We're that grab that light hit that light in the corner We're gonna turn it on in the light in the corner Usually long fingers are we're gonna do a totally shut the light out totally put their finger in my butt, okay? Look at your butt shut the light okay both of them push both of them down all the way this is nice all the way All the way all the way. All the way. All the way. All the way. I like it. What the fuck the all the way? There you go. Like a ghost. All right. All right. This is all. That's actually not that's light fill. I know you're gonna take a photo, but hurry up. Everyone. The lights are all off at the studio. Okay.

Wait, we're gonna wait for Phil to take his photo. I don't know how he's gonna just take one, just take one with the lens cap on, who's gonna know. Just tell him that was the photo. It's the doc, it's the doc. It's the doc that's crying. Phil, sit near a mic, Phil. This is where I take advantage. I think, you know, okay.

So we're doing it, right now we're in complete darkness. This is awesome. As per request of Sarah. I think you'll notice Bobby. Yeah, I'm not stepping on anyone because I have to just use my hearing. Yeah, food tastes different. Yeah.

I can really taste this piece of it. Yeah. It did pick up. Yeah, it did. So last night Kelly, for Stuka, for everybody that doesn't know, got a call from Jeff Singer, who is a, oh, she actually wrote a letter saying, hey, if you, she was one of her famous fucking give me shit letters. And it worked again, like she got on this podcast.

Wait, that's how you got the addition? You emailed them? Yep. Well, she's, that's balls move. Really? Yeah. She attached it to a pigeon and sent it to Canada. We turn the lights back on so I can just look at his face and give him my shit face that

I want to get him. I would throw him the bandana but he would miss it. God holy shit. Oh my God, I just threw up in my mouth. Hold on. I mean, I just, just stunk too. I'll throw him the bandana but it misses. I have an idea. I just threw up in my mouth. Hold on, I mean, I just stunk too. I'll throw in the bandana, but it misses. I have a nice, I didn't see it.

You know, I just said it missed it, but you meant, when you see it, I guess. Anyway, stop fighting. All right, can we stop you, Joe, and Dan from fighting for one second. This is about Kelly right now. Okay. Kelly wrote a letter.

And she got an audition for Montreal last night. Where was it at at the Creek Creek in the cave? Yeah, that's your spot. Yeah, and who's on it? A bunch of other people who's hosting it? Dan soda was hosting it. Mm-hmm. How to go Dan? Mm-hmm. It was good My hosting was awesome Mm-hmm. That was good. My hosting was awesome. It's fucking rip it. Oh boy. Oh boy.

Alright, go ahead, Kelly. What? Um, no, uh, well, um... Da, bo-da, da, da! Shit. You know, for someone that brought up the topic, you'd think you'd have more prepared... Yeah. Are you acting fucking like fucking coin-

I'm- Bobby, were you asking me about my audition? How was it? Oh, thought, thought. I know. I started some times I started it to think so you you asked Dan how Yeah Welcome to the YK Jimmy you Yes

Bobby Bobby turns on lights everyone yells over each other Yeah But you are asking Dan how he's set went. We asked him how I went. We were asking you how I went. I like that Kelly gets itchy when a question is asked. You did fine. Are they?

Did the thing with Dan? Yeah. That annoys the shit out of me. His face so much. His career? His act. I am like, I just, I don't even want to like, talk to him about it because then it would be that thing where he would be like.

His arrow nose. Aaaaaaaaa. Frank Einstein full head. There's a lot of things, but this is one of them. One of the many that pissed me off daily. I love it. I love it. I love it.

This is the anger. Yeah, this is the anger Colin was asking about. Go ahead. Yeah. Let it out. Like, Dan someone I look up to, like I will ask him, like when I got the, he was, he was the first person I called when I called. That's your mistake right there. I don't know. Looking up to a guy who's been successful six months.

Not even four. Well Jeff said that Dan was hosting. So Dan was the first person I called. I was like, Dan, and he's like, okay, so you know, and I, I not give you good advice. It's fine. No, no, no, what I want to talk about is- What does your advice go home? No, afterwards.

Cause I didn't know how I went. Hang on one second, I want to know what the advice was. She said, she was like, she do these bits, he says he likes these bits. I said, of course you do the bits, he likes, he's the one book in the festival. I said, do a joke that gets a laugh quick.

So you can get some momentum going. It's exactly what I said. Okay, go ahead Joe one second Joe Please pull your shirt down. I don't want to see that part of your belly button Whatever I do. Hey, look at you. It's looking good. Sorry Sarah You look at a fucking boy that just became a man Testicle wedgies. That's cuz you got a big dick in a wallet. Ha ha dick So it wasn't that day it was yesterday. So last was the last night, when I went home, I didn't know how I went. I wanted someone's advice, someone who I know, someone who I respect, someone who I think

is very funny, and I wanted their advice about how they thought I went. I wanted an honest opinion about it, you know? Sometimes, I don't bad it. You know sometimes What did you say you don't like it? You will be a little like I'm never honest to say You're honest about the herpes if I didn't want it. I wouldn't ask you know Kelly you did Kelly you didn't want honesty I didn't go badly Kelly didn't want honesty No, I'm fucking furious that she's doing this shit on the podcast. Let's get you want me to be fucking real He didn't want honesty. Whoa, whoa, whoa's the way you text that pisses me off. I don't.

It's not about the advice. It's the way it's not about that. Let's hear it. No, it's not about that. No, I haven't even got to the part or what you did that annoyed me. Yes, get to the part that annoyed you. And then so do you.

Because I'm directing this. Listen to me, I really, I'm so happy that this is actually happening. And Bobby, I want you to give a fair. I want you this is actually happening. I want you to give a fair I want you to fucking throw. I want you to not fucking round your shoulders and Cower because fucking big head has his hoodie on and he's crying. He's getting mad. He's getting really mad at me I don't care. I want to give a fuck. I want to keep going and talking but let me finish Okay, we'll talk but don't cover because somebody's getting mad at you. posture all right, so I asked him what he thought I went and all he wrote back was

You did fine what did I text you today You know what I text you today Don't do this lights Bobby. They fucking what did I text you today? I'm trying to move light This is what did you text me first? What did you text me first? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa I was going home to eat and watch Game of Thrones last night fucking awesome my dragons. Yeah great Yeah, so you knew I was watching Game of Thrones I told you before I left that I was excited to go home and eat with my roommates and watch Game of Thrones Yeah, we had a little dinner we've been planning this all week to watch Game of Thrones. Sorry you guys are fucking Yay

So what honey? I had you know Hey, so what honey? I don't care, I had you not know. There you go. Keep your account number. We had a lamb dinner. Woo, and way. All right, so Kelly why were you upset that I texted that? Because what upset me is that you go, you were fine.

And that was it. And then today, you were like, oh, sorry, that was a short message. And you gave me some tidbits and some nice advice. And it was fine. There you go. Then why? What annoys me, the problem is that I hate when you act like a bit of an ass and then the next day

You're like oh sorry. I was a piece of shit last night blah blah blah. That makes sense. Why do you even do it the first place? Why was I was stoned watching Game of Thrones and I didn't want to fucking break down your dumb act? I was fucking I eating with my roommates high as shit watching Game of Thronesones and I don't want Kelly fucking blow it on my phone being like Talk to you tomorrow You know You don't want to do You don't want to do stuff like that. No, but it's this is what this is what pisses me off is when Kelly bothers me for advice I try to be fucking short into the point and then

I'm gonna be nice later the next day. Let me be nice later. Why do I gotta fucking be nice? I don't want to have to explain myself. I'm talking to that. I can't say angry. We're just having a conversation. No, we're not having a good don't do that shit where you fucking why are you yelling when you clearly brought this on yourself? You want the fucking honest to God truth. Then why don't you just say then why did you say you will find we'll talk about it tomorrow. Because I was super high and dragons were on the screen,

so I texted you were fine, and then I watched it and then I went to sleep. I was someone who you, and then I texted you when I woke up. But Dan, when someone who looks up to you, I'd ask you for advice, and you shut it down like that, you have to know,

you have to know this, you're gonna ask for advice. Wait, you have to know that it hurts someone's feelings a lot. And it's not the first time we've done that. You do that a lot. We act like a shithead in a text message and then a doubt is winner. That was where, that's where I was. And then a day later or so, you apologize.

You have to know that at that minute that you do that message, that's shitty. You already made me feel like shit. You should have been more in depth and been like, what did you, what's the advice? What's a, like, you should have asked me for advice. Don't be like, how did I do? Ah, you were fine.

And then I texted you today. I don't see the problem in what I did. But then that's like, I see no problem in what I did. That's not, that means you want me to like be, there must be, from someone asked you for advice, there's one thing that comes to your mind straight away and that's the thing you said to them. You know what I mean? Kelly, I would just ask you for advice. There's one thing that comes to your mind straight away, and that's the thing you say to them.

You know what I mean? Kelly, I was just said you did fine. That was it. I didn't want to fucking go in depth. I know, but I just break down your eyes. Well, let me ask you a question. I mean, let me ask you a question honestly. How did she do?

She, I'm not saying this to fuck with you, Kelly. I'm seriously. And I'm not saying this to fuck with him, but I I'm serious. I'm not saying this to fuck with him, but I just want him to know that. Can I just say something? Can I say something real quick? Sometimes the problem with a young comic or someone who's in the business early

or has them doing it for fucking 20 years or 15 years or whatever, isn't a veteran or has, do you have an ad you're bond yet? Is sometimes you know, do you have a net, you're bond jet is sometimes you know, you don't know how you really are. You really don't know, because you've never, like when you did the show with me on that weekend,

you could feel what a real show was, what a real crowd was, and you could feel your weaknesses. You could feel when you were good and what didn't work and when you actually put something together and it felt good, right? These fucking first of all any type of shit show you just did two people. I told you before you might as well not go.

You might as well know and let's you doing new shit. The fact that you're working the same 10 minutes for two years at the same shit places, I just don't get it unless Unless you're gonna do new stuff, you should be literally focusing on one club that is gonna be your place and get in so you can host and then you could do weekend spots and then you could do real shows and you'll feel those real crowds and you'll be able to grow as a comic

to keep doing shitty rooms and shitty places. I don't know if that helps after a certain point, if you don't get out of them, okay? But if someone, if you don't do good, if you didn't, if you had a bad sat and people are going, no, you were good, you were good, you did fine. Especially if you don't do that.

If it's not true. She did fine. If it's not listening to me, I know that. I'm not saying, I don't know, I wasn't there. I'm not saying that you have to, that she did it. She didn't, but if it's not true, if, look, you didn't, that joke sucked and this joke sucked, you gotta work on that, that's okay. There's something there, you know.

All right, well, I get Kelly's point that maybe I was a little too cursed. As much as I love Dan and hate Kelly, I have to say. Yeah, and I get to like it. You know, you did fine, but can we talk tomorrow and watch the game of Throne? I am, and you're right. I should.

Or just don't even write anything. I should have elaborated on my point. And you were in a very volatile state, and I probably could have answered more. But here's vulnerable, not volatile, I think. Yeah, what are those? Really, are you gonna be that guy? Yeah.

But Kelly, is this just trying to help? Well, first of all, it's YKWD, not FFWFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF Trouble can I have the bed and not thank you not throw it at me violently. That was good. That was a good throw It was a good throw. I was right on the fucking numbers I don't like that's attention is being taken away from I want Kelly and Dan to be really mad at each other Dan and Dick move really Kelly for you know what other than it was that was a dick move That's the thing Bobby you but it sounds like you do this a lot That's what you said because like eternal edition and everyone's like good job. Oh, you nailed it I don't trust anybody. I trust dad

That's your fucking problem. That's the point I was getting at is your trust dad What the fuck does he know nothing? Let me tell you something you know who you know Who knows how you did me that's it You fucking know you just don't want a fuck you want the accolade you want the stuff And you want the the little fucking nest to be in that somebody's gonna fucking sit on you and heat you up and take care of your Feige worms and heat you up and take care of your feet you worms. No, but I still want that.

It was a bad analogy, but let's say, no, I get it. No, what I'm saying is, look, I remember one time when I first started, when I first started acting, I took my acting teacher who's still my acting teacher this day out to a big dinner at this restaurant that I was waiting tables at. I remember I paid to have everything free,

whatever he wanted, I took him out, him and this broad, he came, he was my acting teacher for one class and he came and I took him out and I sat him down at the end of it I was like, so what do you think he's like about what? You think I got it? Do you think I got what it takes and he goes I don't fucking know do you? And I was like, uh, but you're you're the acting to you goes That doesn't work like that He goes if you want to act act just if you like it you do it who the fuck knows but you're the acting to, he goes, please, that doesn't work like that. He goes, if you want to act, act,

just if you like it, you do it. Who the fuck knows about anything? If you know whether you do good enough, you know whether you should be doing this. You know if you're a good actress, you know when you suck in an audition, you know. I know when I go on stage, if I did good, if I did great stage if I did good if I did great if I sucked. Yeah, but

Bobby you you've never spoken to anyone about like you're saying you know you do a show. That's what I'm telling you that I have and it was it's it's stupid that you put your your fucking self-esteem and everything on your sleeve and you leave it up to that motherfucker to go you know what you? You know what? You know what? You did good, Kelly. You did good. So if he says you did good, you're okay. I'm saying it from experience. I'm not saying it that I still don't do it in life, Kelly. I'm doing it. I wear it. This is different. It's a different kind of area that we're at. I'm sort of talking about it in the...

I mean, you don't look up to fucking i also but also i mean uh... not to defend kelly twice in five minutes that makes me feel weird but everyone has that no matter what age sign fell does it fucking it's not you have a job you have a job you took gary goman he walks off a letterman on the news how was it was it was a good and like that and i think i don't know here's a deal though, he knows.

My point is, he does, but you wanna hear it, we're all in secure maniac. That's not my point though, fine. But the point is you know. You don't want to make sure I lie on it. What I'm saying for her, what she relies on is what other people think. And I'm talking the crowd,

the people on the clubs, the comics that hang out there. They're, like when Colin just said to her, I can't wait for that anger to come out. Okay, that's when she's, she's not a fucking, we're all fucked up, we're all crazy. Right. You're a fucking weirdness about, do you like me? Is, that's you, it's a fucking annoying Joe, but the thing that is beautiful about it, it's really who you are So I get it and I love it and I embrace it because that's who you are, right? Kelly is not this hello. I guess she's a fuck you type of person who knows if she's good or if she's bad She has to embrace who the fuck she really is. Back in Australia, when she's comfortable around her friends,

and now she's here around these alpha males. All it is is comedy is a fucking alpha male machine. Pretty beta. No, no, you're not. Not around you. No, you're not. You're beta around fucking bigger alpha males. But you're beta around most people. Nah, dude, no, you're not.

You, as soon as you feel comfortable with somebody, you do you shit, you do it. You do it with me. Oh, we're here and there, you'll fucking jump back at me. And then you realize it off throw something that you're fucking ahead. But I'm saying that it's like, okay, you call him up. I still do it, hekelly. I'm not saying that I don't do.

I'm saying it from experience, that you, it's not a good thing to be into. It was a, it's not even that. It's the thing is that I don't do. I'm saying it from experience that you you it's not a good thing to be into It wasn't it not even that it's the thing is that I've had many conversations with him We're you know, he's great. We joke around. It's fun. It's just that you know It's he's so Dismissive sometimes say it to him my friend and he's very dismissed You're very dismissive and I hate it and then the next day you're annoying me. Yeah You're annoying me that's That no, no. Do you ever think you're annoying me?

That's why I said, that's why I texted nice and annoying. That's why I said, that's why I texted nice and annoying. But it's the remorse. I'd rather you not feel the remorse. It's not the remorse. I woke up this morning, I go, you know what, I was probably a little short with Kelly. What's that?

What? Was that not remorse? I'm saying, well, I felt guilty on myself. Well, if you felt guilty, well, I did so well. I had remorse. Fine, Kelly. So then done. So stop fucking texting me if you don't want me to answer curtly and shortly.

Wait a minute, dude. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm just fear this. Yeah, but here's your deal. You're looking this shit up. You don't come to me and you're not like, you shouldn't text me back today and be like, oh, where was that last night?

You know what, I said something about it. Here's a deal though. It's probably better that she did it here because now it's fucking literally it's here It's out in the open, okay? Hey, why I can't talk to Dan about that stuff outside You are right now no no outside of here because you can't get his attention for more than four minutes before he will walk away from you during a conversation Wait, then I walk away from you during

You do walk away dude behind your back, we call you the walk away kid. A day? Yeah, because behind our back, uh, Joe. Yeah, I know how much he did, I think. What a fool. Joe, what? No, not, not Joe. Joe, what?

What? I'm just looking at Joe to see if I can lose my shit or not. Wait a minute, why can't he? Because he went into the bitch. I bitch the Joe. Why can't he bring in a bitch to Joe? Why are you throwing him under the fucking thing? You just say, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no called, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And I hate that we do that.

We're gonna stop doing that. Gaming episode is the hackiest podcast thing ever. She, go ahead. She's mad at him and you want me to be. Well, I was talking to Joe about it three days ago where I was like, sometimes Kelly just doesn't stop talking. You're at a bar, she just doesn't stop talking. I never have to walk away from her

because she won't shut up. Sometimes it's like, I gotta go over here. Oh, all right, I'm gonna slow down a little bit here. This is stuff. Okay, Sarah, that type of stuff. This is real. Sarah, you thought I'm gonna be shit to giggles. This is too much.

This is too much. I'm gonna propose to Sarah. I like it though, because right now. I gotta get some comedy in here. I wanna say, what do I do? I spit coconut hair comedy in here. I want to say I do I spit Coconut hair And then liquor do I really like it though because sometimes it's really hard for me to get It's really how to have a conversation with him because it's not but it's not him as well

It's like when he's out everyone what everyone's like Dan Dan Dan Dan all the time and what I'll Improved to talk to you. You're fucking it's really hard to talk magnetic personality makes me want to stab your heart me to Not like Then you're a beetle I Want to get as far as belonging to three seconds like Yeah, look at me wait a minute look at me. Let's time this I agree. It's hard to get dense Yeah, look at me look at me. Daddy looks away. He's only a second look He asked me a question and as I'm answering his question. He'll

That's not true. That's not true. That is not true at all. I don't know about that. Let's give me a specific example I'm specific example. All right. Can I just say one thing before you give that? Yeah, tweet.dodio.com Go to tweet.dodio dot com right now and buy headphones Break up the tension 33. This is where you do it. This way you sell the headphones kid 33% off use the code word dude Angry come on Go I think

Look at me and you can't yell at a girl. You can't be able to friend of yours for talking too much. I mean, you can say, dude, you fucking shut the fuck up. Bob, if I said that to Kelly, yeah, I would get 40 text messages that night. I really talk that much. Is it that I'm talking too much? What am I talking about? I even heard you said you said that before to me. You're like, do I talk too much? You said that, but here's the thing too is when I was like this. When you said that before to me, you're like, do I talk too much? You said that before. But here's the thing, too, is when, when I was like this, when you said that she, she called you and you were, you were texted him.

You were texted her, she texted you and you said you did fine, you were short with her, right? Yeah. Can I just say, the thing should have been, oh, first of all, he was short. Are you busy right now? Are you busy, can you talk? The fact that you texted something like that,

I don't like that shit. I don't like emails and texts about something that's emotional like that. As far as just, listen to me. As far as your self-esteem about how you did. If you wanna know, Dan, are you busy, can you talk for a second? I'm busy watching Game of Thrones.

Then you move on to another friend. That's why you have more than one and you call them up and go, look, this is what happened. I know in your head, you're all fucked up because you got a big opportunity. And you knew going in that you shouldn't have had it because you weren't on the list, but luck, luck came into play. Something happened. You were on the fucking show and you want to know how you want to know how close with am I good. Was it okay? Did anybody, but you know what you should have called is fucking the guy of Bookcher. You should have if you he'll give you the real response because he doesn't give a fuck. Well, who was on it? No, they were typing it for him. Okay, but he'll see it. And he'll actually say,

this is what's wrong with you. That's what's wrong. Sing it has no problem telling you what's wrong with you. Trust me. Okay. And he'll go through it. Dan is your friend. It's hard for him to go Kelly. Here's the real deal. Okay. Here's he's going to have to go. You did good. Oh, you did fine. And I'll admit I was a little short, but I if I'll admit that I I was a little short you have to admit that you should have just texted me and said Can you call me after game of thrones? Can we talk about this when you're done? Can you talk about this when you're because the fact that you in your text stated you knew what I was doing and yet Asked me a heavy question like that shows you didn't give a shit. Can I say something to you should fucking be be headed for

Fucking interrupting game of thrones on fucking premier night, and I couldn't stop Bobby was like But you knew how excited I was to go home and watch it with my friends in the drop a heavy question on me And then get mad when I just quit literally my phone jiggled on the table all the lights are off just the TV And I like yeah, he did fine and I put it down and then this morning maybe silence the phone I mean it's that big was on vibrant. Yeah, put it on vibrate. Really? I'm screaming in the other room turn it off. I don't know why like it. What did you want me to do? Be like guys positive guys positive. I got to go talk to Kelly for four minutes Like you should have just said what exactly said now which which was you do fine. We'll talk about tomorrow

But why do I have to, why? I don't understand why I have to be like, Kelly, let me just balance it. When you knew exactly what the fuck I was doing. I was like, it's because you're inconsistent sometimes. You're inconsistent like sometimes, it's like really easy to talk to you and then sometimes. Yeah, because sometimes I'm not busy,

I'm sitting around. And shitty and then two days later, he'll like, oh, I'm sorry, it's like, yeah, busy and you're texting me already hurt my you already hurt Sarah and I never fight like you already hurt my feelings as you get out in love really You've already hurt someone's feelings when you're short with him and then two days later It's like you punch a woman in the face two days later. You're like was it you guys later? Do this after the face? Uh, for a right now. I wish I would have right now. Why did you fucking do that?

First of all, this is the thing. I'm sorry that I texted you during it, but I was on my way home I didn't have anyone else to talk to because no one else I knew was there You have to accept your friends for the shitty people that we are yeah, we're comics Yeah, we're comics. We're shitty people. We're the shittiest of the bunch. I think it was nice of Dan to even write something. He could have completely ignored it.

He gonna stand where fuck you're not gonna have, this is the hardest part of comedy for me was finding out that... It's just a truck, it's okay. Okay, it's like a big bang up. Hello. There it is, lightning. It's just a truck, it's okay. Okay, well be back again. Hello. There it is, lighten it.

It was hard for me to realize that I wasn't going to have normal friendships in my life, like my wife has with her friends, where they call each other and they're there for each other and they do brunches and they hang out and they go to movies and dinners and we don't do that. We won't see each other for weeks. And then you just pick the fuck up what you went on. You know, I haven't talked to friends of mine, Billy Bertha months.

He's missed my birthday after birthday and this and that. And I didn't get any, I didn't get wedding gifts from anybody. I didn't get a wedding gift from Dane. Didn't give me a wedding gift.. Didn't give me a wedding gift. Colin didn't give me a wedding gift. I don't like gifts. No one's telling me to give you a gift though. I don't like gifts.

Listen, it's not like, I'm not gonna sit there and go fuck them. It's my friends, they were comics, were fucked up. Okay, you have to accept Dan for his, I look at his fucking stupidness. Okay, you have to accept Dan for his for I look at I was fucking stupidness Okay, because we accept you for your horses. That was the perfect noise A lot of it's my and I was thinking about it today because I was working on day today and I Be confronted Sarah. We are friends. She's great. We went to a wedding together

She's not your friend Sarah's not your friend tell her what not your friend. We went to a wedding together. Tell her what you said about her fucking shit set last night. I wasn't there. Yeah, but you heard about it and you fucking. I heard it was fine. Let it come in. Can I let it re-

That was a, that was a mass text that Dan sent. Yeah. No fun. I think it's nice to Dan responding. You could have ignored it all together. And then he apologized the next day. Yeah, it's nice. It seems nice. It seems nice. The me the perfect message was well. That's very thoughtful and it was really nice It's fighting. He sent you the perfect message today

Yeah, but it's a fuck but I didn't do it right then Joe. That's the problem Oh, I didn't do it later, but it's my fault because I put a lot I put too much expectations on Friendships because I know that what I give back as a friend if you call me and was like oh, Kelly Can you help me out with this thing? I need to do this this I would do it in a second. I'll do it for Joe But can I say some you cannot hold friends to that's my fault what shut up with what well the way you're a friend You can't expect that I need to be the the way you are. I can't I can't I if Dan is Dan yeah You're right Dan is Dan. Yeah. You're right. Dan is Dan and I accept Dan for his bullshit.

I accept Joe for his bullshit and I would hope that they would accept me for my bullshit. Absolutely. What do you mean, I have bullshit? I don't think so. You fly off the handle, you're very lucky. Fuck it. What the fuck is that?

Sarah, what the fuck is he talking about? But I'm saying like, Nate, I can go on. Yo girlfriend is adorable. Yeah. I mean saying like me I can go on is it Dorable yeah, I mean literally they're making me look really but I see in our posture so much better We have her instead of like I call mate if something big happens to me I can call mate and he won't pick up and won't call me for three days and then the first thing he says when he calls me He's like hi, man You're watching this tiger tigers on the 17th hole I'm not like well, where were you after I So that's me

That makes no sense you want to be treated like a comedian, right? Like a comedian, but we're all different though. I'm me. That's like So now I have to pull up the next rainbow. You're not doing anything, Dan. What? I don't do that last of the lines. I don't have that last of the shit. Fuck.

This. Dan, Dan. He's so mad at me. I was saying this about Dan. If I call and need something, he's great. The answer's immediately. He gives me long. Dan is never, never not been there for me.

Yeah. I mean, I called three in the morning. What's up buddy? Hey buddy? I mean always there. Dan bought me a nutrition bullet. Yeah, Dan actually bought me one I already have one unbelievable. I believe we thought full. Dan bought me a backup one Dan texts me we text I love you back and forth all together dad and I have cried together I think I was annoyed I mean he did most of the crying with the sister bullshit Pretty embarrassing, really. That's a fact.

I wouldn't cry. I think I was just annoyed, dang, because you've done it a few times. Yeah, it sounds like this is boiling over. I mean, this is good. Way that'll happen. And I think this was like the third time where I was like, fuck, man, I just want to...

We're both the times when I was shit-faced. I was taking a break, right? I was taking a break, right? When I was sober, was that it? Was that mostly it? I was shit-faced, and then the next day I would text you, be like, hey, sorry, I was kind of day right now. When I was sober, was that it? Was that mostly it? I was shit faced and then the next day I would text you be like, hey, sorry, I was kind of a fucking asshole. I don't know, like, most of the time I think it's when you're

stone, because as soon as you just said, you're watching guys are throwing stones. It's always when you're, we've had this conversation before, I was dead. I'm not attentive when I'm high, that's weird. Yeah, wait, listen, we had that conversation before where I've said, if you're stone, let me know, because I don't want to talk to you.

What did I do in my, I said that play. I want to vent about Dan today. He's the worst. We were having a good conversation. He really is. We were having a good conversation shooting on you actually. And some woman was beating her kid. Dan went into a nine minute play by play.

There was some credible though. And I was like this, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I wasn't high though. I was just. You were high. I wasn't high. You were was just... You were high. I wasn't high. You were high! I wasn't high. I'm just kidding, I enjoyed it.

It was really fun. But that was a great talk we had about that. I was annoyed. I was annoyed, Dan, because you're not normally like that. You're a good person. And then when you are a shitty person, it fends me because I'm like, well, that's not him. And I don't know why, do it.

I don't know what the fuck. Kelly is mad at you because you're a good person. Everyone's the one. Oh no, that hurts. That hurts, but I like it. You're a good person. Every once in a while you do something that she thinks is subpar and then the next day you apologize for it and she doesn't like that.

Okay. Dan, you're disconnected from her friendship. It's basically what she's saying. You're disconnected. You're connected, you connect to her on such a deep level as a friend sometimes that she really, it really means something to her and then you can disconnect like a serial killer.

And then apologize for it. And then apologize. But no, you apologize, but it also reconnects you when you do that. So you're a friendship with her is connecting and disconnecting all the time. On your terms, not mine. And that's your fault though. Don't blame him for that He is not in control of how you say you guys

Way stopped that was a fucking you he was just listening to what the fuck I was just saying and then you on his terms You keep brought this shit up like everyone was gonna shoot not point at people It's pointing at her not yeah, but you guys are cool. I'll give you the thumb This bitch gets the long bony finger. She was bringing it up like Bobby come on ask me about it So I can say he's a bad person. I think she's a shitty person look at she's not a shitty person She's a fucking boy. She's a sad Australian, but she was clearly trying to turn everyone against me at the beginning of that No, let's talk about it. I'll tell me bring bring it up. I'll take let's talk about what Dan You asked him to ask you

You specifically knew that you were gonna fucking bring this up and try to make me look like an asshole Well, this is the problem with you. You didn't give a shit about talking about Here's the problem with Kelly. I don't tell you right now. You're being his his his he's actually whatever He's taking offense to what happened, which is fine. I'm not saying that's right or wrong Yeah, but I'm saying is it you brought it up and now that he's fucking barking or you're literally going all You you're backing down from what you originally brought up if you want if that really ball that you Kelly It's okay for him to be mad at you. It's okay for him to be yelling at you. It's, you can still, that doesn't mean you have to cower and think the way he wants you

to think now. You understand? You can just accept Dan is a fucking flake. Look at Norton, I took a picture in I was like, well, watching Game of Thrones. He's fucking doing word with friends while we're at my house with, we invite him over dinner. My wife cooks this amazing dinner. We eat, we're sitting there.

We actually pause Game of Thrones for half hour because he had a fucking set to go do. And we waited and he asked me if if he that's what he wanted goes Could you please and we did you know and then he came and then I look and he's watching these are words of friends and It's like look man. That's my friend. That's what he does. I could say no no We're watching it at nine and fuck off go watch yourself. I could not invite him over dinner That's my pal. that's what he, I gave him a Christmas present one year.

All right, he didn't give me anything. Hey, I gotta get you something. No, you don't, I gave you this. He goes, can you hold it, I got two spots, just hold it for me. Two years later, I gave it to him. On Christmas, he just left it at my house and he never picked it up.

Am I gonna hate the guy for that? Sure, he's the fucking piece of shit, but that's my buddy. And I do, and I'm fucked up kill him a mess I'm I'm like you Kelly. I wear my heart on my sleeve all the time I I want I want to call up somebody and go hey and have them go you know That's why I have certain people to do that Dan wouldn't be that guy Not saying to me, but if that was the case I I would not put him where he was gonna fail me.

And that's your fault. You're putting him in your expectations of Dan, the expectations you put in yourself. Well, the way I am, that's not fair. Dan is Dan, and Dan gives a shit about you. Dan is a sweet guy. He cares about everybody in his life. And he's also a self-centered fucking

egotistical fucking narcissistic sociopath, like the rest of us, okay? Huh? Not you, Joe. No, no, you're a fucking, you're an insecure dove with a broken wing. And then go, you get Sarah to put fucking bandages on and feed you worms every couple of weeks.

What, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I could've used the voice there, Dan. And they go you get Sarah to put fucking bandages on and feed you worms every couple of weeks Could use the voice there Dan whatever So angry to use the voice. That was beautiful Bobby. Yeah, Bobby that was right. That was a great point Thank you very much. I think here's the deal you guys both care about each other Dan you can't you can't you can't get mad at Kelly Get get get mad at you can totally you can't you can't get mad at Kelly get get get mad at you can totally get out of Kelly. Yeah, but listen, you can't that's what she's hoping that can't happen. No, I can't get mad at you. But you have to get you have to understand what she's coming from. I understand she's a fucking she's a million miles away from anybody that gives a fuck about her. Yeah, do you understand what I'm saying? Yeah, a million miles away from anybody that gives a fuck about her. Do you understand what I'm saying? A million miles away from anybody that gives a fuck about her.

Something goes wrong with her. She only has us. I know. You get that, okay? And I'm, I, listen, I, listen man. You don't listen. That's the shit that drives me nuts. Yeah, but you're a fucking,

Dan. You've lived here for the years, Dan. Yeah, but Dan, you're a fuck. The fuck, how long, you know, you lived here for three years. How long have you lived here, Dan? Six and a half years. Okay. Dude, she's a million miles away from anybody. You, me, you, we're survivors. We know how to fucking do this.

That's what we do. Okay. She's out here. She's trying to fucking get her. She's trying to get her bearings. You fucking, she's your friend. That's it There's no way around it. Well as as where you are I can't fucking hate you Dan because I know better. I can't fucking be mad at Joe or DeRosa or Sarah

Because she's just sitting there weird. I can't I can't I can't I can't and I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. And Bobby, you're right. I can't. I know better. And that's why I apologize and said maybe I should have said better stuff. Right. But I texted her today when I thought about it and was like, you know what? That was a shitty move.

Let me text her. And then I'm in trouble for apologizing too much after I realized what I've done wrong. And you could have brought it up one on one personally without a group of people. I'm fucking so glad you brought it up here though because you know what, you wouldn't, honestly God, you wouldn't have gotten this far. Yeah, you're right. You wouldn't have.

You wouldn't have gotten to where you are now where, but honestly right now at this point, I don't know what it's done as far as maybe I don't want it, I don't want that responsibility, you know? You don't have any responsibility. Well, no, I do. I clearly do because now it feels like, now I gotta be on watch to make sure I behave like a good little soldier when I just fucking, well, you clearly did, Kelly.

No, no, no, you wanted to bring this up. But that's why I didn't want to say anything to you because then I didn't want in the future you to be like that, oh, I better do this for Kelly because if I don't, she'll get mad at me. I don't want that. future, you'd be like, oh, I better do this for Kelly, because if I don't, she'll get mad at me. I don't want that. I was thinking that last night. I mean, but that's how I feel about you. If I don't do this, you're gonna become an emotional rep.

So, over something that's not a big deal. That's an obligation. That's an obligation. I don't want that. That's what I'm saying. But a big obligation. A friendship is an obligation at some point. But you want to do it.

That's all it is. I thought obligated as a friend to respond to you. Can I use that? You said that then? Friendship is most definitely an it. That's all it is. I felt obligated as a friend to respond to you. Can I use that as a friend? Friendship is most definitely an obligation. That's the definition of friendship. But you must want to do it though. Yeah, and I do. And that's why I wanted to text you back

because I knew maybe you were fucking freaking out. So I was like, you were fine. That was me going, hey, that you're cool. It's okay. How did she do? She did fine. You got a couple laughs. I felt like her set could have been much tighter.

I felt like it was a little loose as far as going from one premise to the other. As I told her, she got laughs. Sarah, how did other people do that? To be honest, it was probably like that. And also I know the creek is like sometimes it's difficult. She, there was three people that had incredibly good sets. She was right in the middle.

I love that they have auditions for very important things. It's a difficult place. I love that. And then they pack it with shitty people. Yeah, but then you go and do the festival, and that's what they do there. Yeah, that's true. The creek doesn't have a bar in the room.

My new faces did. I tell you this. I'm doing two more. Uh, but I just say that that what with the plan, what danger said that was was the fact that that Margarita. I've done mediocre at every galor I've done. I mean, thousands of people, I've been set up to just annihilate and just mediocre. They have the lights on because they're filming

it. Yeah, yeah, it's like a clan. And I'm up there with energy. We're like it's 1994, Bob. It's good. Woo. Welcome to the new faces showcase here at Magaritas, your first comedian. That's the first voice I've ever done or noise sound, whatever.

That's pretty good, right? So that's what I can do. I do a blender. It's like, it also do, oh, hold on, stop everything. I do a great Jetsons vehicle. Check this out, you're gonna shit. Check this, I'll do that one next, thank you. Check out this Jetsons vehicle, you're gonna shit. That is great.

Wait, you talked over it. No, I did, I wanted to chill out. At the end you fucking talked over it. No, I did not. I wanted to kill it. At the end you fucking talked over it, you mump. Because it comes, it really goes. Let's go, do it again. Wait, shut up everybody. What's up?

All right, you guys may find my mouth for long enough. Is that flawless? It's flawless. Right in it, that's flawless, folks. We can make it park. Flalas is flawless right in it. That's flawless folks But is that what you know he loves it was that the upgraded version that was a parallel part Like how's him along like to it honey? It's beautiful and here, I can plug myself into. I'm gonna get into it.

What is that? It's my coin slide. Oh, it's a band. Yeah. That little baby mouth works. It's a tiny amp. Yeah, there's teeth and good, dude. I'm gonna hum him an arrow with him. Yeah, those teeth are good to do the fucking Homo aero with them

Yeah, wavy bar Yeah All right, that's it. Oh my gosh. I'm wrapping up and having fun. Look at let's keep going You want to keep going? Yeah, let's do a fucking three hour brave hot podcast Yeah, let's do a fucking three-hour Brave Hunt podcast. I'm not leaving to dream until... I don't leave it to remind to everything's like Todd. Look, with established that Kelly has zero friends evidently, so we have to just keep going. Does anybody have any nuts?

I don't know if I buy the whole million miles away. You've been here for nine years already. So does Dad is fucking dead for God's sake. But dad's sister. His dad is two million miles away. They're in... ...aunt. Heaven is two million miles away. That's a land on't. Heaven's two million miles away. Sarah told me.

I don't know. You were gonna say something before Joe did his impressions. He's got that. Yes, say some more. I think my blood sugar's dying. Why do we have a fucking nut? Does it coke? I need a nut.

I can give you a nut in three minutes. Sarah, take your shirt off. No. No. That was damn funny. All right, go ahead Dan. No, Kelly was gonna say something before Joseph goes. The only way. Dan actually, what he said,

then was quite lovely and sweet and beautiful and exactly what I wanted to hear. What Dan said? It doesn't even matter. It's not about the feedback. That's not about, it's Bob, it's not about the feedback. You know what I mean? Call me Bob again, I'm gonna suck a punch

Bob you call me Robert Rob it's Kelly it wasn't about the feedback it was just like it was like uh tell me you know everything's fine just I need someone telling everything what did I say you were fine and that's my point though you didn't you didn't say everything though can I say something though I told it what it was just I mean I've had a conversation with him before, he asked me that question. I get it.

I get it. Like I agree with what Bob said though, if this has happened over and over again, then perhaps Soda is not the fucking guy you text, you text him when you need a laugh or a neutral bullet. No, you're right. And then you text fucking, you know. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I thought about that today, the exact thing was, was that this is my fault because I put expectations on people. Yeah. And they can't meet him. And it's not their fault. They can't. They're not perfect.

I do that with Sarah too. I want anal every Tuesday. And I haven't got it on one single Tuesday. But Wednesday you're on fire. You know that's the reason you guys never did anal. My wife will only do anal either. No. Sarah's a joke to that.

It's because her huge camera right is in the way. But last time I tried it popped and I looked like I just murdered a group of people on my face. Dear theory on analic Sarah because you oh, sorry, is it too dirty for the show? I don't like blue. Okay Sarah, what's up? Oh no, I just I just worry about doing analic because I never want to be that girl that walks by and like I did her in the ass. Oh, I'm at the belly part to kill her but no the drinking oh yeah

person's like quite drinking no more why and that means wait can I just do your joke I'll just do my girlfriend's joke okay not tell us is a joke because I didn't know and I what do you think we're doing here I'm not fucking Kellyan Soder having a fucking conversation you fucking we're saying you fucking... A conversatin', you fucking rips raps. Worseing, you fucking retard. Conversating. Conversating's not a word.

It is a word in this fucking household that's a word. I don't drink anymore. Jump it down, that means. No more anal, and that means I'm never getting married. Don't remember that joke, don't remember that bit? First of all, if you don't do married... It was a great bit. Married people don't do anal.

Well, that's what... What does that do? The way to get married is if you do anal. That's right after the bug clock in your neck. Will you marry me? Well that's the one. If I will only do anal if I know I'm kidding married. So why don't you spit coke? No I got it open a coke quick. Let me ask you question you so Joe will never get anal. What do you mean? We're gonna get married. So really when you get married, you'll do anal? I'm open to it.

There you go. This is like a... Not open enough. Can we, uh, I got a thick piece. Yeah you do. Can we call you shit dick when that happens? I wish Sarah would back up to stick piece thing. Dan keeps talking about it.

No one else showed up. Show us. He doesn't. Sarah, you've seen it. Show us, Sarah. He's seen it. Yeah, I've seen it. Is it like, seen it? You've seen it? Yeah. Yeah, I've seen it. Is it like, oh my god.

It's like a regular penis. Oh. I feel like I have to show my little baby mushroom in here. Wait a minute. I built him up like I was Don King. I was trying to get his dick to fight you. But how do you know she has, she's fucking banging black dudes and self-avergarden.

I didn't know. It could be a cannon. It could be a regular penis to her. I didn't know you were a size queen. I just said little, I don't know how it fits in. No, but I do hate it when if girls talk about when he's like, oh, that guy has a small penis and like, that doesn't make you sound good. You fucked so many guys that you have a rainbow of penis. You have a rainbow of penis. You have a rainbow of penis. You have a roll of dicks.

You have like a key chain full of different sized rings. Let me measure your dick. I mean, it doesn't really matter if they know what they're doing anyway. I like, I've had ones that are like, huh? But it's fine when that, you know, that's all good. No, it does. That's not true. That's such a shit.

Tomorrow night, huh? If you have a small dick and you literally have to be fucking in the circus to make it work right? You have to be sure to survive. You have to have your other Asian fucking dude spinning you on the pussy while if you had dicks that small, that's not true. Right Phil? Yeah. Thank you.

I don't like when Phil just sits, you talk man. What do you feel about what the fuck just happened? I love soda and I love Kelly. What do you love more though? Who, if you had a pick? Well, I mean, come on, Bobby. I've known soda for a long time. But I mean, why?

If I could, but Kelly, put you on your screen. She's so good. And what? I mean, I just, you know, I think it's just you're over analyzing everything. Just as a neutral part of those guys. God damn it. I love it. Listen, I want to let him talk to guys

You know, he's never spoke of the podcast ever I I want to twice is so her you know, nobody cared. He's got his little things, you know Obviously she doesn't like that, but deal with it and I think you're being too sensitive You know just know that and just that's it. You guys are friends. I mean, in the day, fuck. What feels trying to say at the end of the day? I used to like, I don't like, but everywhere, everywhere, everything.

For that's a comic dude. We over, that's how we are making a living. That's how our brains work. We overanalyze every thing. You guys already hit the nail on the head though. I mean, if you know, that's the response that you're gonna get. Yeah, but when somebody, that's like what my wife would say you overanalyze it yes

Because I'm fucking psychotic. I think it's clear that Kelly's in love with Dan Yes, I think Dan if you just throw her that fucking awkward nose dick that you have Throw more a couple bones here in there. Yeah a little Little hazy father, you know what I mean? Not you're father her father. Yeah, her fucking her father. Look you up with some mate. Yeah, you're a meat and a garage, you know, give her a little. Didn't I give you guys the prosciutto that I brought back from? I didn't need it because I didn't trust your family. But no, she's awful. I mean, I understand what you're saying, Phil, but you're he's coming from a, like my wife is a civilian. I wish we could live like that.

I've got you too, man. Yeah, no, trust me, I know you're a fucking... But you were saying, believe me, that's why I would, I'm more, I would be more scared of you than anybody else in the fucking room. What do you mean, why? Because, guy, because you, you know, I'm an open book dude, I'm not gonna fucking hide anything from you.

I'm gonna tell you to your fucking face and I'm gonna flip out and it's gonna be way too much and I have to apologize and I fuck up, you know what I mean? I got like you, you'll never know really because you're like, yeah, let it go, fuck it. But you could hold the grudge for six months on somebody inside and have something wrong and never say anything because it's like,

I don't wanna deal with it, fuck it, let it go. I would rather go fucking Dan, don't do that that to me right then and there and have him know Fuck you and say well go fuck yourself I'm gonna do it if she would have texted me right back and been like oh nice short response. Thanks for or like talk No, my wife was mad at me for two months about something But if you have never fucking told me about because she had it done that then and there, you were trying to watch the show and then you would have been mad at me. Kelly, I'm trying to watch the show, leave me alone.

But you knew that answer was going to come. I don't like that the negativity in this room has made me attack my friend Phil. I love this guy. God is gorgeous. These lights. But my whole point is you knew exactly what I was going to do. So why? What are you going to do now?

That's what I want to know. Where let's fucking it. Where are we going now So why? What are you gonna do now? That's what I wanna know. Where let's fucking, where are we going now, Kelly? Where are you now? I wanna know where you're at now with your friend Dan that used to like you. I, I love Dan. I don't think he ever did. I love Dan, I love Dan and I think he's fantastic. And we have had very good conversations and laughs and stuff,

but I just wanna know that he's gonna be a consistent friend to me. That's all I need to know because I don't want to invest in it. Dan, Dan, what are you going to do? Dan, Dan, what are you going to do? He's not being a friend when you're like, All right, honestly, you know what? I will be a very consistent friend when Kelly listens to what I'm doing. So she doesn't talk like that because I think it'd be easier to listen.

I think I'm going to a nuncier if she listens told her what my fucking dangerous character dangerous Bob dangerous Bob's great What was it? I don't know dangerous. Oh The monoma house. I got a pool is over 10 feet on my ground. I'm just saying I'm gonna Bob a queue if he knew yeah, I was adamant and Very open with the fact that I was gonna go home, get high and watch Game of Thrones. So she knows, hey, if I'm stone, she already knows I'm not gonna be open

and a good friend. I didn't know that. And beat, well you just said you said you did. You were like, I did that he was gonna do all that stuff. That's why I said you know. What I said, you know. Outside of the creek, I go,

I'm gonna go get my burrito, go get home and get high and watch Game of the game I just take a game to thrones but you but even if you did know that I was watching a TV show that I was obviously Excited enough about to tell Kelly what you know I would to bed right after I probably would say something though Kelly You need to toughen up a little bit. You need to get a, I'm a pussy, believe me. I'm telling you right now, I'm not saying this

because I'm a fucking pussy. I am so sensitive. Okay, shit bugs me. I'm just like that. I get fucked up over little things. Believe me, you get fucked up, then you get paranoid, then you start questioning everything, and then all of a sudden someone will call you,

and they're like, hey, what's up? And you're like, oh, you're not mad. Oh, and everything's fine again. Is it honestly, honestly, God? You have to, you have to not. Yeah. Number one, you have to toughen up a little bit and let people fuck up. Number two, you can't have everything how you feel or how your day goes or how your

set is relying on a dance soda. Seriously, not anything wrong with you Dan, but you did because it's with, if I'm gonna go up, okay, if I'm gonna go up and do well, that's a choice I make. That's it. I'm gonna go up and have fun and not be nervous and kill it. All right, or if I go up and I try that, and it doesn't work and I bomb, it's fine. I lose nothing. Okay, even if I lost everything, I lose nothing

because you're a comic. You still get to go and perform somewhere. They can never take that away from us That's the best part about what we do No matter Montreal Jeff Singer NBC, Letterman people come they could all say fuck you no every club can go No, we don't want to you. You'll still be able to get on stage and tell jokes They can never take that away from you. You lose nothing. Okay. You gotta know that. It doesn't matter. It's not life or death. You're not gonna fucking,

you're not gonna, if Dan tell you degrade, it was all, I didn't want that. It doesn't matter what you wanted. You wanted something. And you should have said, I know you're not gonna because of where you're at. I get it. But you gotta have said, I know you're not going to because of where you're at. I get it, but you got to learn to number one, get tougher skin. Okay. Number two, not take everything life or death. Like what you weren't even supposed to be on the show.

You got on your weasel, juay on. You did. Let's be honest. You fucking weasel, juay on, which good for you. That's what you're supposed to do, you wrote a letter, hey, if you need nobody even wanted you on the show, you wrote a letter and found a way and took a shot and it worked and you got on and the guy even said to you, you're probably, you ain't getting this, it ain't happening, but I'll put you

on, right? He said that to her. And now you have XB, how did I do? It doesn't happening, but I'll put you on, right? Mm-hmm. He said that to her. And now you have XB, how did I do? It doesn't matter, you know. You know how you did. You've been on stage more than me. You get on stage more than me. Okay?

You know how you did. You truly, and if you don't, there's something wrong. You're not, you're not a comic. You're not becoming a better standup comic. If you're still wondering how did I do, how did it go? You're, there's something wrong. You fucking know. Be honest with yourself and you'll be able to become a better comic because you'll know that doesn't work I've done it a hundred times and it doesn't it doesn't work. It is that's your job Not Dan's job on my job or anybody else's job to tell you what works and what doesn't we're not there at every set We might see you do great one night that don't mean shit

It don't mean shit. It don't mean shit. It's you alone. What it comes down to, alone in a fucking hotel room or in a dressing room, with a no pad and a pen in front of you, and you're gonna go up and make the choices you make. That's it.

Nobody's gonna help you. Nobody's gonna tell you anything. That's what it comes down to. That's when you're a comic You're gonna be on the road by yourself Yes making your own decisions and knowing what went right and what went wrong yourself That's your job. So stop stop doing that Get thicker skin and and know yourself. Yeah. Stop having to go, how was it done again?

Yeah, but I didn't even see him enough to like. Yeah, but it doesn't mean enough. It doesn't matter. But I didn't, you know, I really, That was a beautiful, Bobby. I think that was, I think that was, I mean, that was, that was, that was, I mean, that was, that was, that was,

that was everything, that was perfect. I want to, I want to, I want to watch. I don't know why you're keeping it up my tits. I'm trying to, I know, I'm trying to keep it loose. I want to watch. I don't know how I can keep bringing it up my tits. I'm trying to. No, I'm trying to keep it loose. I can't make fun of her clearly, because she'll cry

and call me the next podcast. Dan's about to snap. Feels perfect. And Sarah, you know, I want to marry. Bobbi, I mean, I think you just said it perfectly. I don't, I, Kelly, I don't like disappointing people. I don't like, I don't. I'm sorry. But that's one more. I didn't like disappointing people. I don't like I don't I'm sorry, but that's why Didn't mean to laugh

But I'm being honest and I'm trying to help her I know I know I don't like disappointing people and especially people I consider friends People that can call on me so For when I feel bad is when I text you when I think about it I'm like, you know what maybe I was too short of an answer and I should have texted her But for you to pull this horse shit and to fucking set it up, like you knew everyone was gonna turn on me? I can't be set up.

Don't act ignorant. You knew exactly what you're gonna do to them. Yeah, ask me how my Montreal set won. And I said, I'm a Dan. I think Kelly, I don't think she did that, Dan. I think she, I feel like she, I think she, I feel like, I feel like she, the way that she said it feel like she the way that she said feelings aren't facts

You're the one but you're the one who blew it up because you're the one who got angry inside of yelling Yeah, I think you were Look at that. I didn't have to go there though. Yeah, I'm not dead. Yeah, but you can't don't do that girl shit That was I was that's fucking good that no Sarah no offense to your face But this That's fucking good that no Sarah no offense to your face That is some real like no there is so much like a dude. She really is listen Yeah, but here's a deal that that's some fucking the one the one thing we do have to point out and I'm sorry I'm not trying to pick on you you keep going Bobby asked me but started off like this Bob Did you want to ask me?

No, wait, what are you talking about? I want to ask what you're doing. All right let's do it. Can we just do this now that we got all this out? And Dan is a fucking angry face. You're mad at me. I love it. I was getting a nice 11 in the between his eyebrows.

I hate people being mad at me. He hates disappointing people, but I hate people being mad at me. Same thing. Listen, it's family. How did you do? I think I did okay. I think I did a good laugh.

And I think I did a good laugh. I want to know what you did wrong. I don't want to know what you did wrong. I want to know what you did wrong. What do you think you did wrong? I ended on the wrong line. I worded the last line wrong. Shabjo, I fucking hate the snipy little.

How do you think you did compare it to everybody else? I think he's just Christ I just pray that now we're trying to tell her not to do that And you fucking I think I did as good as him but he's got a good management and then And my thing is well at least I wasn't the worst in the room right? Well you the worst she wasn't the worst see that's my who was no Guy girl girl. Do we know her no? Okay? Okay, she want the worst in the room. You know what Sarah? I am in love with your wife

To be I am in love with your girlfriend soon to be wife soon to be evil buddy Tuesday's well girlfriend soon to be wife soon to be annual buddy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Tuesdays. Well, oh no, I was just saying I was going to think about it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Hey, Robert, I was just going to change the tune. So there's been a bit crazy.

Can I give our thing to Joe? Yes. Joe, we have a present for you. Oh, great. Sarah's butthole. Can we just be honest about it, Joe? Is it at the bottom? But I'll be honest about it. I'm going to honest about it Kelly. I'm gonna ask Kelly Kelly Kelly

I didn't even know about your birthday. Oh, you're I mean you're so Bridey birthday. I mean give it to me. All right. Go ahead. I had nothing to do with this All right, this is to congratulate you Joe because you're telling the other day you went by 90 days. Oh, yeah, yeah. But I'm not drinking. I've been drinking every day since then, but I'll take the gift. I know you have. You're just taking 90 off.

You're just taking 90 off. Oh, thank you. Congratulations, Joe. Happy 90 days. Oh, it's a bottle of nips. It's much a jegger, my son. It's a bottle of Asian people. Whoa.

Nice old school. Oh, my God, I couldn't use these earlier. I was dying for these. Oh, thanks buddy. This is I appreciate this Bobby That was really sweet of you Unbelievably kind Bobby you'd have to handle those with a radioactive suit I want to be honest for a second. This really is fine Kelly Come on, I should have been an explosion. What are you kidding me? Come on, that was fine. I appreciate it. I hope Kelly gets my

I'm gonna open these right now. I hope Kelly gets much. You all you Say I'm gonna she bombed she didn't bomb she didn't do good. No, she didn't do it. She didn't do good. She didn't do good. She didn't do good. She got, look at me. Look at my face. She got three big laughs. All right, so 10 out of the five. She got off stage early. All right, 10. She didn't do her full time.

10, you did? You went off early? Yeah, you went off. And then oh, so you know that's the worst thing you can do in an audition. You got off right after the audition. Listen to me. She let you at five.

You got off at five. I learned this. One of the worst things you can do in a comedy audition is get off early or too late Well, I think this is important to you want to talk to the other thing that she did that you told me Yeah Well, it was it was spending for a couple weeks What no no the thing at the beginning was she was like Oh, yeah, that was the thing. Oh, I know we're joking.

That's like a good, a good, a good, a good constructive criticism. Good constructive criticism. I know, I know you're only one in M and M at the time, but can you do it fucking quieter? Well, it sounds like, what's it? What do I do? What do I do?

Yes, suck on it. Something that you need to stop doing is overly doing the give it up for the host. You went for about 20 seconds too long last night. You're like, give it up. Come on. Keep it going. Let's get him going.

And I was like, still like, what the fuck? Like even as the host does like, I don't know, and I shouldn't even be a host. Yeah, but this is, but you understand that now, okay, here here's a deal now being honest with her about how she really fucking did Yeah, instead of saying fine or hang on let me finish instead of saying fine or you know she had three good one What fuck the good ones the good ones never help the good ones are there What the fuck with the bad ones and then you stop doing it and learn how to fucking be a better comedian and stop giving her bad habits that she's gonna do all the... Come on, buddy Kelly's coming here! I don't want that shit on my show.

But you just stated something that the reason I couldn't do that before was because she doesn't have thick skin. No, I can hear that. I love it here Kelly. That's not your responsibility to make sure. do that before was because she doesn't have thick skin. What? I can hear that. I love it here, Kelly. That's not your responsibility to make sure. Your responsibility as a friend is to be as honest as you possibly get. Maybe that's my own fault,

because I don't want to fucking know. You don't want to deal with this. Yeah, that's a big part of friendship to them. What? I mean, being honest, but something you got to dance the line, I'm not hurting people. Yeah, dude, like you're too skinny.

Oh, you mean, I'm getting in shape, baby. I'm not afraid. Sarah, I'm gonna scratch your face, though. I want to tell you about your're too skinny You get in shape baby I'm gonna scratch your face. I want to tell you about you. I want you Tell me about you and girl Well, you're also getting the best at I mean she can be a real twat Tell me about my girl what the fuck up, man. You girls fine. I was kidding I was in 20 minutes. Well, yeah, we're gonna go. This is the last one. I want a brave heart.

I'm gonna get up at 16. I'm gonna get up too. At 10.30. Oh, I got a hell of a little girl. I got a hell of a little girl. Hey, baby, you're on the show. Don't be so gay. Don't laugh.

Why am I on the show? Because I think you hate me. Joe, do you know Joe List is? Yes, I do. Okay, Joe List thinks you hate me. Joe, do you know Joe List is? Yes I do. Okay, Joe List thinks you hate him. Why? I don't know! I don't know, Joe.

I didn't do it as they could think I hate him. I think everyone hates me. But I wanted to just make sure because I thought you were like, not the fuck stood that guy. Not at all, Joe. I like you very much. No love, geez.

I love you. I don't know. much. No love, geez. I love you. I don't even love my wife. I do. No, you don't even know where you're, you know? Yeah, but I love you enough that I love anyone that puts up with your dumbass. God, you're fucking, you fucking, newly sober love life.

I love everybody except for Kelly. What the hell? Don, I need a little more time to love you but shut the fuck up you're not gonna love joe loving joe is not an option alright? been flirting with my girlfriend a lot my wife

do you understand? my wife doesn't care what i do anymore she knows what i look like she knows what i look like naked i can literally go i'm going to a strip club and then I'll go, she go, go ahead, have fun. What did you say to me the other day? There was like a really pretty waitress

that was waiting on you. Yeah. Was she getting on you? Yeah. She's left. She goes, all right, good for you. She's like my uncle, good for you, kid. My girlfriend hits me a lot honey I told them

that we got no fight yesterday really yeah I did but I told them we made up do you love me I do love you even though I'm a piece of shit yep exactly oh Exactly. Oh shit. Oh, what the fuck? You getting more real? How's my son? He's good. He's kicking. I'm getting ready to eat some berries right now. This is the sweetest thing ever. And it's making me so fucking depressed. Yo Max, what's up, Max? I'm trying to put the phone to your belly, don't that. That's Joe list. Yeah. Oh, I thought that was Lewis too. Oh, she thought I was Lewis. I don't it's so to do like Dan. Do you like no shit? Do you like dance? Oh, I do like the end soda do you love dance? Oh,

Can we talk to we've talked to Max again? Take the long time to to get the love word out there. You love me the day you met me That's different in my husband. Look at me. Um, do you love Kelly? I do. What? What?

That's fucking nonsense. I love Kelly. Yeah. It does a lot for us. She's a beautiful person. Yeah. Kelly loves us too, right? What does she do that I wouldn't do if I was a way and she helped my wife out.

That's really sweet. She is a sweetie. Do you know who Phil is? You've met like twice. Trust me, you'd love a little guy. That photographer guy. You never look at him in the eyes. All right. You never. Joe, he could have taken baby photos because a little baby is born. Can you take it like he's in a little cauliflower? He's like a little cauliflower.

The palms Easter basket. All right. We're going to end this podcast. I'm glad that you still love me, Bob. Thank you. All right. Don're gonna end this podcast. I'm glad that you still love me, Bub. Thank you. Alright, don't talk on the podcast. You called me. Shut up, I gotta go. Oh, honey, don.

What? Nice. Nice. I, yeah. The best. Never files. Always work. So that's what?

I always get a fucking civilian on that one. Can I just say real quick? I love how you guys are so comfortable talking about marriage I mean I do you guys I'm coming because I'm in a relationship now, but like how long do that take you guys are just Talk about it when you don't want to marry them Phil throwing away the M word Yeah, put the light back up. Yeah How long have you guys I would love to see Joe just broke it harder after she says that he's all I didn't like it. Oh, he's got a ring in his pocket. I definitely wasn't taking seriously. How long have you guys been together for Joe?

Chew your Eminem and talk. I love that Joe really has to chew one at a time The jokia douche he's got gerbalfood that's almost for it there. Oh God He's got the joky a douche. He's got gerbalfood. He's got almost four right there. Oh god, no! Oh god, no! Joe hit him in the stomach. So he puts two toothpicks in his mouth and pry that second rope in. Funk. Hold his nose shut. Alright, I'm gonna have to kill him. I can smell him because I don't smoke anymore.

I don't eat carbs or sugar. I don't eat like pussy. Is everyone here sober? What? So do you drink it? Nope. No, he's smoking pot though, so I don't count that Kelly drinks. I'm kidding Kelly's drinking too much Yeah, this is this is retarded. I mean Phil. I'm sorry for keeping you I have fun if you're listening the password is dude everything on Amazon's free for the next 15 minutes No, don't say that I don't know that that's where we're going so long This why don't you do the Amazon and the game fly one and then do the

Donations and thank had the grams Heather Graham like the actress like roller girl. No, no no graves Heather Gray, you know what you do do me me a favor. Do Amazon and gameplay, would you? Amazon.com. Go there, make all your purchases, and when you do, actually go to riotcast.com, go to the You Know What Dude page, and click on the Amazon button, and you can get a discount. Not only do you get a discount, you give Kelly food money when you buy stuff, because it trickles down like Ronald Reagan wanted it to to the mouths of undocumented foreigners and she gets to eat so make sure you go to ryecast.com click on the Amazon button and hey if you're like me

and a terrible friend when you're stoned it's probably because you're playing Xbox so get Gamefly Gamefly.com you get rental games it's the best I'm playing Far Cry 3 right now I'm almost done with it I'm not gonna get any credit for it. If I would have gone on Gamefly, I could just return it for a new video game. Plus, with your new subscription, you get two free games for $21.99. It's not $21.99. It's $19.99. Well, the two bucks goes to me. Let's go to Gamefly.com slash YKWD. Go get two weeks free. Go to Amazon, link on our page.

If anything you buy off Amazon, please just use the fucking link from the fucking page. And you guys make us money and make sure you go to. Tweaked audio, a tweet audio, put in the code, do D-U-D-E and get 33% off all of your head for needs, Joe. I don't know what you're pointing at me for. I want you to do the Tweet Dutty I had. I don't have it.

I don't listen to when you do the ads. I'm always... Free shipping? I'm always thinking about what? How the fuck you're doing. You're thinking about yourself? So selfish. I'm thinking about the show.

Come on, Joe. I care about the fucking show. Yeah. I don't do that. There's people underneath us. I don't like everyone trying to bring me into that. I'm so proud of you. My father.

I'd like to thank all the people. How did you raise that? How did you? Heather Graves of course donating again. She's unbelievable. Subu, Subu. Subu from ECW. Can I finish, Subu?

Pooth of Vettil. Maybe you shouldn't have finished Name Sabu Bethlehem. Let's go first name. You try fucking spell this ready your father shouldn't have finished Drink no, he'll be fucking load in your mom No, yeah, if I was on strike it was 82. He had nothing else to do Heather Graves again, and you know who else? I want Douglas Maloney. I love Doug Maloney. I call them Douglas. I call them Doug. Sabo. Sabo. Sabo. Great mattress with Tommy Dreamer. 1998. Go find the video tape. Thank you guys so much. Make sure you follow Nate Bergazzi,

at Nate Bergazzi, and unfollow Dan. Oh yeah, you can unfollow me. Nobody's gonna follow you. Try to catch me Nate. Oh, you're catching up Oh You're catching up fighting words you catching up to me like with your slow southern pace Not even this podcast is gonna help Yeah, maybe you can maybe you can say words faster to catch up. I like the Nate and I talked and I'm like I told Nate I'm like I'm going bad guy. He goes go, but he's like all right, man You fall asleep listening to my voice I ain't dude. Goddamn, man. You found a sleep listening to my voice?

Okay. He didn't send me the fucking guest spot this week. And you want to talk about when you're upset at a friend, call Nate Parketsi when he's driving. You'll want to stop being friends with him. Why? Because he doesn't fucking listen. I'd be like, Nate, what are you doing?

He'd be like, I'm driving, back home. And I'd be like, man, it's crazy. I almost got murdered. I'd be like, man, this guy just cut me off. All right, listen to me. I'm gonna end this. You guys are really. Sir, I enjoy the couple of years.

Hang on, what about me and my wife with the baby? You guys are the perfect couple. You guys are the family. Married couple of the years. You guys are family and the same. I check it out. Check it out. Here's the deal.

This podcast, a Berk Krasher's podcast with Gary Gellman got fucked up. I said it last week, I'm saying it again this week, we're gonna redo it. Berk's coming back into town, I'm gonna get him on, or I- I- I'm gonna try to fix the audio, I don't think I can. It sounds like my mic is on and everybody else's mic is off on the show. Something fucked up in the- There was magic that hour.

It was great, it was one of my favorite podcasts, but we'll get him back on. I feel terrible about it, I really do, guys. I can't tell you how fucking awful I feel about it Whatever Um, no, I'm kidding. I do. I love birdcresher, and I love Gary Gowman So I'm gonna try to fix it or I might just put it out and make you guys eat the sound and go fuck yourself You can hear people. It's not that bad First laugh you can hear my favorite laugh. So thank you for listening Joe. Where are you gonna be? that bad. First laugh you can hear.

My favorite laugh in the world. So thank you for listening, Joe. Where are you going to be? Just come out Monday. Monday, 8th. April 13th, this Saturday at the Wilbur with Gary Gohmann, our friend Gary Gohmann, we're just talking about it. It'll be at the Wilbur's.

I thought we had a deal. Oh, boy. Yeah, yeah. I thought we had a deal. I wasn't going to do it because I was too close to Gary and then you said I could so I did it. I thought you were my guy. I would love to be your guy, but I'd like to be Gary's guy.

I don't know. I got no money. I got to support the thought you were my guy. I would love to be your guy, but I like to be Gary's guy I don't know I got no money, dude. I love you. I gotta support the the baby that we're making Baby in her ass It's a what April 13th. I can't hear you poop. Did you learn anything Sarah? No, I'm talking First of all, I love you. I'm so glad you came on. Yeah, I'm sorry that this craziness happened and she's she's like you When she she does it's a fucking winner She didn't talk a lot you didn't but you're a very low-key person, but you're very funny sweet and she's she's adorable Beautiful woman. Yeah, very surprising Ranger shirts are flyers Rangers New York Rangers hockey We were just talking about if we saw two chicks wearing ranger shirts.

Was it our flyers or rangers? Oh rangers. New York rangers hockey. Just how, I don't know, that personality that... Girls and hockey jerseys do your impression of a girl who wears a hockey jersey. Can I do it over here? I don't have, well, just really. Sorry I'm late, I had to take a piss at 42nd Street. I fucked a guy in a small cock.

What did that story even come from? It's fantastic. Oh, we were just eating pizza, but I was just saying, whenever I say a girl in a hockey jersey, they can wear basketball jerseys or whatever. For some reason in a hockey jersey, they just look really rough around the edges. Very off-putting.

Very butch. We've been in hockey jerseys yeah more no good yeah with the new York range but they always have good fingernails yeah my fingernails are maculant by the giant is disgusting I got I got two I got two ashy knuckles from punching wall right now the L.I.R.A.R.A. don't put me on it if the ranges lose it's a cage strike. Yeah, my pinky, this pinky knuckles bigger than this pinky knuckle fuck cuz I This is my swing up. If you got a devil's jersey on and pulling your hair and punching you in the throat.

You twat. I lost an earring in my nose. In 1962. Who bearings? That's a rookie mistake. Yeah. It gets so horny around hockey scene. Yeah.

That ice makes my wet. Yeah. Once I'm I banged in the glass. So hot I smashed it. I'm not gonna lie if I say I don't go in between the second and third period and finger fuck myself. I'll fuck a guy with no teeth and I don't give a fuck. Sometimes I like hockey. Sometimes my pocket my jacket pockets and pocket smells like pussy because I carry octopuses in the throat. I'm in the hands, man. I'm into gums. Yeah. Nothing like a beard and a broken nose.

I like it. I feel like a false teeth burglary when I'm fucking a guy. I'm not gonna lie, I would let two Canadians run a train on me any day. Ladies and hockey churches. Oh, what? When I see a pop-down, I see how dead winnipeg it makes my pussy wet. Oh my god.

I want to do a web series. Just chicks and hockey jerseys. I love trees with no leaves because that means it's season. That's great. That's a good bit. I used to wear a fucking anky chip over my head just in case somebody bled I'll even fuck the guy that falls down during the fight The rev has to break it up. Oh, I got I got I got Sticky skate in my can't whoa

Joe hey Joe Joe I've never taken an improv class Sarah tell him tell him your Twitter. I'll I'll wrap up Bobby Sarah tell him tell him you're your Twitter and all that stuff Joe list comedy. No, you're putting your dumb dumb At JoLess Comedy. No, you're putting it, you're dumb, dumb. Goddamn it. It's at Stalamash.

Stalamash? It's my first initial with my last name, S-T-O-L-L-E-M-A-C-H-E. You should've just had at my last name is really hard to fuck this battle. Everyone's getting distracted from your Tokyo drift lights. This is fun. $200. I like the lights.

This is how you close with the bang. Phil, Phil, Phil, how do you like it? Let's do some visual jokes that close their out. I like it. I like this. I don't know, maybe more here though. All right, well we have those. We have smooth lighting.

We have to turn that up. Yeah, maybe podcast during the day too, like we're not fucking vampire lunatics. We podcast during the day all the time. I did it one time at night because I had shit to do today. I know, but it's so. I was in the hospital, I was in the doctors today. I'm getting fucking eye surgery next week.

Does anybody care about me? Yeah, I'm getting my eye surgery. I know we're gonna spread them apart a little further. See, look more normal. He's doing this. I'm gonna fingers his Dan holding up. Do you understand next week, there's a possibility that I might have to lie

on my face for 10 days. What? If they, if he, if some, I'm getting something removed from the back of one of my eyes. And if he pulls it off and he creates a hole in my retina, he's gonna have to put a gas bubble in that hole to keep my eye alive. And I'll have to lie on my face 90% of the day for 10 days.

I don't know whether to make a pirate joker to be actually worried. Well, here's the deal, as I have shows Friday and Saturday that I have a baby shower in Boston on Sunday And then I'm going to Arizona on Wednesday where you playing in over the next week don't ever point at me again Phil It's this film. I feel it's this where you playing in Arizona. I am playing Kelly. Where am I playing? Stand up live Scottsdale. Santa live. Yes, go see Robert Kelly. So yeah, there you go. So pray for me

Anyways, go ahead Dan. Where you gonna be? Oh It did yeah, there you go. So pray for me. The only club in Scotland. Anyways, go ahead, Dan. Where you gonna be? You're gonna reopen. Oh, you're gonna open? Yeah, reopen. Oh, wait. Go ahead. Who's the guy? Is it new people?

Yeah, it's the people on Sam's live. They read the bottom out. What a shit move. Reopened. What a shit move. They shut down the improv and then fucking reopen it up. The dude's dead. Yep.

Who died, no guy? The owner. The owner of the improv. That's the whole fucking story. They the dudes dead. Yep. Yeah, who died no guy the owner the owner of the improv that's a whole fucking They found him dead where killed himself motel in a motel and was it New Mexico? What's Dan Murr? No, he's gone. Oh the old guy walk Anderson the old guy. Yeah, he killed himself in a hotel. Yeah, why? He had psychological issues. That was a thing The guy a guy running a comedy club and making fucking ruin in lives had a cycle. Oh, that's good. Yeah, we don't want him here. He's too dirty. No, the yeah, yeah, I mean he had his things. I mean, I was there for like six years, but you worked there. Yeah, I

Did a lot of things there a lot of things I try to book you in a small room. Remember that's that was you that was our first interaction That was you that was our first interaction That was you Been over this I never ever ever ever talked about this that small we never ever ever talked about this ever Lies remember Louie premier. We talked about it. I don't remember you from there. I was like we met over in Arizona I we had that small room. I was the one that tried to book you there get you in there because it's socky and I said no. No, you said yeah, we were getting it because you're in town for date You were doing with a dain cook tour at the time and then what happened? I didn't do it though. Yeah

The room you that's like when things went south and that room. Oh, yeah, that's just close then. Yeah, some shit I didn't I forgot that was you. Okay. So we're gonna be April 18th I'll be at a rebel in Atlantic City and then May 3rd My Comedy Central half hour premieres Thank you Sarah to fuck was that So what do you feel feels good a lot of amazing shick on I want to get money. Well I guess I just finished the huge project over the village how to go amazing did did he did you like it. There's great. I think they're printing right

now. So I actually by the time this comes out it might be finished but what is it. Just did a whole did a big design for the lounge in the village on the ground ground know him who's amazing Sent me all the photos of all the history of the seller So I just spent the last two weeks looking over photos of sit three-out podcast, you know Louis and Signed-filled, you know you name it everyone together disease old skinny Bobby back in the day looks great sexy Bob And so back in the day day I'm not skinny no more

you know we just did this huge you know photo collage so that's going up on the yeah I even tried to sneak a photo you you and Vecchion in there they wouldn't let it happen I know why would they let that happen they've been in comedy for six months in the cellar they're good people and one of them's good yeah which one I think they still are so yeah that would be the funny part Kelly everything's So that would be the funny part that would be the funny part I didn't need you to actually punch it down by revealing what I did Punched it down that should be the title and the end of the goddamn Legs are fucking hurting from a state of What asshole you're the one who wanted to

fucking Nova Scotia. She had sp- What was that bed source? What did you want to do? Because I'm brain hearted. Nova Scotia. Tancy went from brain heart to Nova Scotia. Bobby was trying to think of brain heart

and through Nova Scotia out there. That's where they fill the- Maybe, maybe Sarah and I's home life isn't quite as good as it seems and I don't want to leave she hits me I'm hungry man. Let's all go to eat together. Where downstairs the diner or the diner. Okay. Let's go to the diner on a eighth over there Let's go to the wavily okay. Let's go to wavily. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right listen to me Kelly. Where are you gonna be fun? April 16th at the underbelly. I always do and in Tudacayela.

Yeah, follow Kelly for stuka. We have competition submissions. One of them was really good. The jogger. Did you get that? No. Oh, I got a shit. Send it to you. Send him a Kelly at ridecast.com. You can send him to ykwd at ridecast.com,

but I'm gonna just send him a Kelly. I just got Rottweiler again. We got Rottweiler. We got another one, I got jogging, we got, so we got a couple other things. So submit, whatever video it is, make it up. You have an iPhone, do it, edit it, who gives a shit? Sing, scream, show us your dick, your pussy, your dick pussy, whatever you got.

And send it in while you love the show, while you love specific people on the show, it doesn't man it. Just do that and you're gonna show, why you love specific people on the show, it doesn't man. Just do that and you're going to win, we get two prize packers, packages that we're dying to send out to people. So, we need a couple more, so just send them in, whatever it is, at kellyryakast.com. And go to robbercaliolive.com for all my dates, get my app, award winning, for iTunes, get riot cast app, all the shows.

I've been listening to the, I've been traveling a lot. When I travel, I listen to the podcast. I listen to the network a lot. I use the app for the iPhone app soon to be Android app, Riotcast. And I've been listening to the hamper fisting, the Bailey J show, Davey Max Sports Show, it's fucking hilarious. The comedy so live is fucking great. It's one of my new favorite shows.

It's so fucking interesting. And also Dr. Steve had a great episode last week. All the shows on the network, Rich and Bonnie, please go to ricast.com, support all the shows, tell your friends about the network and with a fucking hottest mother fuckers on these on these coast bitches. Thanks for listening to the show That's it almost three hours two hours and 44 minutes 24 25 26 which is bring it to 45 right make it even it's like gas

Right do it Let's do photos and we're gone. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Um. When are you going to know what your Facebook? What my Facebook. Yeah. Do you have a Facebook? Yeah, Kelly, if you stick out for 45 What is your what is your right now? What is your Hey, make sure you support our sponsors That's right you son of a bitch is we have sponsors kid

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So there you go make sure you support our sponsors and thanks a lot guys You know what needy Up, up, up, in the bottom, up You know what needy Look at this box, look at this box You know what needy Really needy, really needy, really Don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face. you you you you you Y por favor, no me voy a dejar de estar en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo en el momento de que me quedo qued ¡Fuming Mate! ¡Don't stop! ¡Fuming Mate! ¡Don't stop! de 19 euros. Volotea.

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