Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Bro Science Dude

Episode Date: June 2, 2014

Robert is joined by Dean Lorey, Vinnie Tortorich, Gary Gulman, Mike Lawrence, Rich Vos, Rachel Feinstein, Luis J Gomez, Kelly Fastuca and Chris Scopo. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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¿Vocas contenido gratis? ¡I want to be free! ¡Aquá! En Sanitas fuimos los primeros en ofrecerte videoconsulta con tu médico de siempre. Comprogramas especializados. Otro paso, cuida tu mente. Y otro, ficio digital. Cada año queremos que disfrutes de la asistencia médica presencial y digital que mereces. Dal paso a Sanitas y disfruta ahora de blu ayuda durante un año gratis. Pulsan el banner para saber más. I'm the biggest podcast on the planet Earth. I was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of guys on it.

It's just us sitting down. And sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's intense. No topics. No direction. I love doing it. This podcast has no rules. Can I get a microphone?

I'm sure I've already said, should I? We're grabbing. It's rubber killing. You know what, dude? You know what, dude? I know what! A guest know what dude? I know what I'm dead! The live, fucking live, news stream. Right now, there's fucking three people

in the room watching this. We got fucking Rob Kelly on lead guitar. Louis Shay Gomez on drums. We got Gary Gomez playing up the organ in the bass. Yeah. Kelly for Stucco, Dancing in the background. Oh God, nice. We have an amazing show for you today. It is a

packed house as usual in the riot cast studios. I'm very excited. First of all, I have my friends on the show who come, my comic friends who are on the show Gary Gullman is here today, who I love to death. We have a few things to talk about over the weekend. Yep. We have Lewis J. Gomez the rattlesnake Puerto Rican Rattlesnake Somebody gave him a new rattle he used to do with a little box of altoids. What's up, buddy? I brought my cousin your cousin Tony just walked in the fire room What's up? How you doing? Tony's a man. He's the guy who's gonna this whole studio is getting revamped because of Tony. Right Tony? Tony? Yeah. The studio? Of course. How many weeks? Maybe three. Nice.

Eight months. That means eight weeks. Eight months. But he's a Mexican. They do it in three days. It can be done in an hour. Yeah. By the way, this was a gift from one Wayne Radah, who's a fan of the show, and a fan of my Puerto Rican rattlesnake moniker. So I'm a big fan of Wayne Radah. Yeah, he's a man. I'm a big fan of wrestling nicknames. Well, I have a few nicknames.

I have the real ass dude. The Puerto Rican rattlesnake, Howard Stern of MMA radio. Don't forget Lou dog Don't forget Kant Kant. There's a blue dog fucking a ped statutory ape. Yeah, how many of those? You give yourself me don't forget dummy. Nobody's ever got a studio Lou, do you have you don't have all your buttons done up on that shirt now so we can see that chest. I want to show So we can see that chest I want to show We go speaking of those guys. I'm very happy. I'm very proud to have these guys in the studio They both changed my life. They caught me right at the edge of a cliff. I was over 300 pounds for the first time in my life

and Jimmy Cervico the best manager on the planet earth the best producer in my life. And Jimmy Cervico, the best manager on the planet Earth, the best producer in the fucking world. And here he actually told me to get in touch with Dean and then Dean put me in touch with Vinnie. And these two guys psychologically gave me another perspective on food in my life. And I lost 45 pounds.

Wow. That's amazing. I walked, I came back, which, and I did it without going to the gym one fucking day, not to say that you don't go to the gym, but I, you know, you aren't disparaging the gym. No, you're not doing it. But you want to the gym, surpreco. There's not a wrong with the gym, but first things first, I always say always we had Vinnie to to reach to the right The good-looking one and then I'm kidding. Well, I gotta say that. Come on We have Dean's Murray and you guys Dean is also one of the writers on arrested development He was you you wrote max. No major pain major pain. Yeah

And the last show you were on that got canceled unfortunately to leave robin Williams yeah the crazy ones the crazy ones gone gone away was fun to work on those great show i watched it and uh... and and viny is a uh... is a train to the stars you know this is what this would through me off to is that here's a guy that you're not a star well i i have been on tv five shows that are trained to the podcast are you you're not a star? Well, I have been on TV five shows. I trained it to the podcast stars. You're not a star, but thank you anyways. Can you escort Lewis out of the room? This is what Lewis does, though, he throws one of the winners and they're usually hateful. So just to let you know, you will not like him at the end of the show.

What are you? We'll take the hateful comments if he buttons at least one button on that tree? Like an expro wrestler. It doesn't look like a pro anything Okay, so you guys are on the show. We're gonna talk a little bit today about about no sugars, no grains, about food. And it's not just about, I say no sugars, no grain. There's a lot more to it than, I learned about food. You guys talk me about food and what they're putting in the food.

And Lewis, you've done it too. I have, well, I've done a variation on it. What I usually do is I cut out carbs completely all breads all pasta all you know Not even multi-grain no rice Nothing white dude nothing white no no no no big racist game no multi-grain either. Yeah, what's that? But do you have the flower? I have that, but I'll do potato or I'll do sweet potatoes. What's in racialist? It wasn't a good joke either, but I was just trying.

But what do you see a difference? Haven't done it? Hold on. I'll wait till they're done. Don't try to be funny. Go ahead. Yeah, you just forgive us. Yeah, forgive us.

We're having a conversation about... Bring this comedy show with comedy. Yeah, he wants to talk about vegetables, so stop the comedy. Go ahead, guy with the flag shirt on. Go ahead. this comedy show with comedy yeah he wants to talk about vegetables so stop the comedy i would what the flag shirt on go ahead all have a all of bananas all have sweet potatoes i know he won't do either of those are not like pineapple no should that right

uh... i don't i don't i will not limit any fruit any vegetables i want to corn though and that's fine that that says perfectly fine that you know that happens all the time you know some people could get away. I always get the question, hey, you say no sugar is no grain. Nuts can almost be considered a grain. People go into that whole seeds. What about seeds?

If you're eating nuts and seeds, you don't have a fucking problem yet. That's what we're always saying. What works for Bobby may not work for you, you know just Based on taste and everything else why no bananas up and on is bad Well Kelly I'm gonna have you move to the college. I got Mike Lawrence coming in you're gonna have to change Lauren's too big to sit there so move on We're gonna check on the college. Yeah, all right. Yeah, we're at the right spot. Yeah, go over there now Now you guys are gonna be sweaty for the wrong reason

Go over there now. You want boys? Now you guys are just going to be sweaty. That was for the wrong reason. She's a Australian. We got a hot British check coming to the couch. Australian British, she sounds like Salina. What is it? Australian?

Yeah. Alright good. That's better than British. Here, take this mic. Wait. No, no, sit in the middle. Sit in the middle. It's in the middle.

She gets in the middle. Yeah, she says, Christ, Vinnie, you're moving over to me? We did have a sexy morning. We did. It was really exotic. can you get here? Yeah See but Bobby doesn't do cheap days. That's the thing Bobby hang on stop. I'm right here. So don't talk for me Well, I'm saying you don't do cheats. That's not true. You're right here Mike. You're right here Michael How you doing, bud? This is Mike Lawrence very funny

Well, you know what I do do cheat days, they, I don't think I can do them. They fucked me up. Here's the thing. When I first met, when I first talked to you guys, I talked to Dean first, and then he threw me over to Vinnie, and then they explained to me, corn and sugar and corn starch and corn fructose and all the shit in food. That is, it sounds like you retain none of that knowledge.

Making me, making me, you know, eat more and overeat and, you know, obsess about these certain foods because of what's in them. Right. It, it, it, it, it, it gave me the knowledge I needed to get through it, but it was, it was like giving up drugs for three, the first three weeks of quitting sugar. It's tough I fucking shook like I had I was giving up heroin I remember I knew a sweat you kept calling me. Oh my god. You thought you were dying. What did you call them? What is you when you get the sweats? The kettle flu the kettle flu

Kennel flu. Yeah, you don't you don't get to have cheat days when you've had a cheat life I feel yeah, because that would should work You know you're trying to lose weight Yeah when you've had a cheat life, I feel, because that would should work. Like, you know, you'd be here. I'm trying to lose weight, yeah. But that should give you an indication of like, how addictive sugar is. Like, coming off it is like coming off of cigarettes, or, you know, sorry.

I don't want to hear anything. It was terrible. And then I got off it and I went seven months without sugar, seven months without a grain. And I dropped fucking weight and it came off. And then Lewis came in with his cheat day fucking scenario and I went Yeah, maybe I I should have a cheat day my cheat day turned into a cheat week. Yeah, right and now Now I'm fucking I'm rolling in and out of this thing. I've put

Probably around seven eight pounds back on in a week in a fucking week around seven eight pounds back on in a week. That's just in your neck. In a fucking week. You can't reward yourself for being a shitty person. That's like that serial killer logic, you know? Like I'll blend in the shadows for a few days and then real me will strike. Yeah, yeah.

I'm only killing bad people. That's the whole thing. I'm only eating sugar when I needed it. It's, you know, the most. Okay, here I was doing one cheat day a month. Yeah. And it was just that one day a month. I gotta do the rock. Dude, here's one cheat day every day a month. Yeah, and it was just that one day a month. I got to do the rock dude. He has one cheat day every three months and the rock

eats a fucking dozen. But he's the fucking rock. And he put steroids. I love how fucking narcissistic he is. He's compared himself to the rock because he follows him on Instagram. Are you looking at my eye? Listen, hey, you don't question Lewis Gomez and his one and one listeners It's coming in hot I love that you're you got so you got hit so hard you forgot to shake your rattle on that So hard you forgot to shake your rattle on that one. There you go. Ah, many shook your rattle. Many shook my rattle.

You touched my rattle, you're gonna have to break your fingers. Oh, I was gonna say this. You're not the rock here. Hey, what's your name again? That's the name of your rattle. Write that down. Write that down. What's your name again?

Louis, thanks. He's not giving it to me. He knows, he knows I'm trying to say it., so I'm trying to just fucking give it to you You faggot It doesn't matter what you're when he has nothing I Start to say it doesn't matter that I'm a fan now. Do you like cheat days? The cheat it doesn't matter what you like My favorite thing when the rock does that the other guy really believes that he cares. Oh, it is my name is patch

Oh, oh, can I just tell you the best one the rock every day was with the deadly brothers because one of the deadly stutters And he goes let me ask you question. I gave you a lot of high. I'm sorry. You know I want you to you know tell me do you like pancakes he goes I I Was on the phone with Patrice I fell on the ground on the fuck Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh When I went off it's not a diet first of all. Let's just say that. That's the one thing that helped me out is that I'm not on a diet, I'm changing the way I live. But my I use food like a lot of people who listen to this show and a lot of people got turned on to this by the way and lost a lot of weight.

But what you're gonna run into is after the three months and the three weeks goes by and you feel them better all of a sudden you step it on the scale and jeans fit that I haven't worn in three fucking years. Okay, I got a whole new wardrobe that I had that I couldn't fit into. But it's all shitty, it's like the old jeans, like with the rips and the knees,

the fucking... They're actually all Tokyo five jeans that they sent me, and I couldn't fit into them anymore. They're all, I got jeans attached. I put them back into them now. I'm back into them. But here's the thing, when I have jeans attached. I'm back into him now. I'm back into him. But here's the thing, when I was in, I did all this stuff, I worked out,

I didn't work out, I ate right, I was learning the drums, we shot the pilot, and everything was over, right? The show's over, I'm now in Canada by myself, and Sunday night all alone felt sad, I got all fucked up, I didn't want to get a hooker. I didn't want to disconnect from my family.

I didn't want to disconnect from, and I want to get an a pizza. And you started thinking about the fake rock telling you about the cheat day. Yeah, exactly. I started, no, but his cheat day scenario, and look, I was in your head. I don't think it's bad for strong people.

I've always bobby just doing. Well, the cheat day thing was like, yeah, maybe I should have a cheat day. I, I, I, I deserve it. just do it. Well the cheat day thing was like yeah maybe I should have a cheat day. I I deserve it. Fucking do it. Can you do it? Can you do it with heroin? Can you have a cheat day? If you if you were doing heroin can you just say no? Are you asking me? No. I don't look all the time. Does anyone want to ask me why it is that I way less than I did. Yeah. I was a few and I was like, can I ask you?

Sure, anybody want you in the AC? I'm here from a successful person who managed their weight over 23 years Yeah, all right. I want to hear yes comedian version of Gaston from Beauty and the Beast Please, please tell us the two dozen eggs you eat You had honest, I don't know is it crazy reverence? No, listen There are some people that game that like gaming on the talk. I just feel like the fat midget who sits next to him all the time. We all feel that way. Jewish Gaston. Yeah.

From Beauty and the Beast, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to, any of these, any time I've ever met anybody who says, and I've given up these things that they craved and lived for for 30 years, and I'm never going to have it again. They've failed every single time. So my my policy is I'll eat right this meal. And who knows what I'll do the next meal. It's an application of the AA principle of one day at a time, but I want me a little bit further to one meal at a time. So I stepped on that. That's

all right. Do you know? No, you're right. No, here's the thing. And this is I'm never gonna have another sugar. You're setting it up. Self-hub. And also set it up. Can I ask that question now? No, you can't. Not right now. This doesn't matter what your question is. I'm set mom. the cheat day thing is just, then you're living for the cheat day and it makes you have to be so strict on the non-cheat days that you feel like and any little slip up becomes up, it'll be my cheat day.

Here's a thing though, is it too hard? One thing that I learned from this, but also you've never been that. No sugar, no grains that I learned. I would, you're under 65 pounds as a senior. The one hundred feet tall, Food spreads out in your body. The one thing I learned on this no-sugar no-grans that helped me out is that good food is good. Like, I always salad and, oh, I fucking, if there's anything I fucking dread in life is a salad

for a meal. Just the salad to go, let's, why don't you get a salad, makes me sad. I'm not going to be tall. I'm not going to be tall. I'm not going to be tall. I'm not going to be tall. I'm not going to be tall. I'm not going to be tall. I'm not going to be tall. in life is a salad for a meal. Just the salad to go, let's, why don't you get a salad, makes me sad. When I hear my wife go, just get a salad. Fuck you. Why, what, you eat baby backs? I have a riblin, we're at Applebees, I'm not getting the fucking Applebees salad.

I will get it at the, what's the other place there? Pinarra bread? Pinarra, I will do a Pinarra salad. Loads of fucking amazing. But chicken medallions. When I got to have soups and cheeses and meats and bacon and eggs and I started eating and I could go get a steak for lunch, that's what made it better for me

that I could actually eat. A nice, and all of a sudden, everything changes, your body chemistry, fucking changes. And all of a sudden, the piece of salmon over a mango salad with a side salad, with some fucking steam vegetables with butter and salt and pepper is like the best thing I've ever eaten in my life. Yeah, that's exactly it. Go on, Dan.

No, because it's not about calorie restriction. I mean, that's what people usually think of when they think of diets. It's just, calories in calories out. Calories in calories out, it's all, you know, and you start thinking about all of the things that you can't eat. But this isn't about that.

It's not about calorie restriction at all. It's just about removing sugars and removing grains. So you can eat everything else, which is most of the good shit. This is the problem I found with your book. Okay, okay. The reading. Yeah.

Thank you from Lewis. I don't know. I was kidding. I was like, I was like, I was like, hey, Lewis, that was really funny. Like you're hiding behind me, and you can't hide. I'm like, oh, he knows that that's a source part of it

with me, because that is a jewelry haul. And if all Jews look like this, the Holocaust would have turned out different. Jesus Christ, Mike. Are you Jewish? Okay, go ahead. No, we're licensed for Holocaust Church. I want to throw a Jew joke so bad he's shaking.

I can hear the rattle. I can hear the rattle. No, it's bleeding. These people. That's the most Puerto Rican you've ever tried. Oh, it was close. It could never happen. The one problem with the book that I found

and is that there what you get to the, this is inspirational you learn about food and stuff, but there isn't what now people everybody asks, what can I eat? That's the one thing I kept having the answer for people. Dude, what can I have for breakfast? What can I have for lunch? What can I have for dinner?

It's hard. You say everything else but sugar and grains. But I didn't know corn was a fucking grain. Because you think of it as a vegetable. That's great because when we wrote the book, we literally wrote it in a vacuum. We didn't have any, we didn't think anyone was going to read the fucking book.

The book became a hit. Right. But we wrote a book that we wanted to write. And we literally sat in the room and wrote a book in a vacuum. Well, I thought you wrote an vacuum. Dyson. Yeah, in a vacuum. It was a Dyson. It was a fuck show. We all bartenders with quips. Step it up. So, go ahead. So, when the book came out, people started reading it and then, so wait a minute, you didn't give us a diet. It was like, well, I don't believe in diets.

Right. And now we're faced with writing the second book. That's part of why we're in New York right now, is we're gonna write the second book and give people what they missed in the first book. Right. Well, can I ask you guys a question? Because I've lost at this point over 100 pounds.

I was down 30 pounds. Yeah, I used to be like, 300 and a half. Oh, I had no idea. I was down oh shit 30 pounds Yeah, I used to be like 300 no idea. I mean it'll look like a guy actually be I actually know way more than Both of these guys about what we're talking about rock thing. I mean You okay? This is why he nobody likes Lewis and nobody respects him because no people who know a lot more don't go I know you never I do know it. I know way more It was room they always play it down. Yeah, I know he just fucking said I go I know way more They always play a town I know Just fucking said the same thing about the what he lived in life and one meal at a time go fuck yourself It still does have a fat voice though It does

I lost the hooter prize He's eating donuts and milk right now He's eating donuts and milk right now. I love donuts. What's your favorite hoopa-stinks song? Mine's all of them. Gary did it as a joke, by the way. Yeah, and also you yo-yo diet anyhow. Would you cheat days?

I am. No, but I'm concerned about longevity because you hear about... You hear about... His body can't keep it. Well, he got longevity out there's brain Long-javity oh my god for for solos for something with you man go ahead somebody who knows more than everybody you really get thrown easy Just done

Here and go, dude. I didn't know corn was a fucking grand for the next hour. Good. Do that? We broke Lewis You didn't do anything you sat there and fucking yeah He's like the rock when scene of figuring out his technique. Yeah, he's the rocks cousin pebble Come on Lou. Come on Lou Lou. Come back. Shut up your fat. Coming back slowly. I give him his power. Kelly. Every one of them is trashy me and Kelly's going, you lost come to life Your bad side My god, I thought I could. All right. I immediately thought gay pride.

Good day. All right. I immediately thought gay pride Cuz he's gay That lizard. Oh put her in your your point. I'm sorry that we got sidetracked and went off on funny for a while Yeah, I'm sorry. What was your point? You had a good point tell you weren't fun Never have been never what you point nothing don't worry You can't what are you fuck what are you crying? What are you gonna give enough if you don't actually want me to ask a question and ask I do with Joe you know it's a comedy oh read the description of iTunes. It's a comic It says Robert Kelly show it says it says it says we're just joking

Comedian Robert Kelly's come on. We're kidding. Go ahead. You I can't believe you being sent out of all people You're being sent to the baddies way Come on. What is your question? You have a good question. Good Was it something about corn? Oh, that's a question. Um, what about longevity? If you're someone who you're you die it's a lot How do you now? Equestive yeah, oh that's right It did stay and then you started saying shit about syllables. Yeah And then everybody went, like, longevity. No, he's shut down emotionally.

Let him just do that. Come on here, do that. No, give it a baby's rattle. It turns my rattle. It turns from a rattle snake into just a little baby rattle. Lewis got me fun of. Can you run to CVS and get him a pass of fire? I got some tampons in my bag

Come on, man, it's longevity I'm taking the round away Are you taking your toys and going home? Just pulling something on the wall Oh, okay No, oh Something He's gonna pull out the knife that killed his father A lot of funnier cuz it's true Gary's face

Drinking at that it's three on the earn, man. That's one way to lose weight, you know. All right, so listen, he had a good point though, longevity. But you guys don't really touch on the addiction part of it. It wasn't meant to be that way. We didn't think that people were going to like wrap themselves around NS&G and the no sugars, no grains thing. So literally, even though that's what I've traded on for 30 years, is how I've made my living

and kept people thin. We didn't think that people were gonna take one little thing out of a book where we're describing how America and the world got fat and turn it into this kind of quasi-religious. I wanted to go back and tell us how America got fat because that was very interesting to me. Explain, can you do that?

Yeah, yeah, okay, good. We were living on a system of not eating a whole lot of sugars and grains. Yeah, yeah, we always had rice, we always had corn and pasta. But somewhere around 1970, everything just shifted because Ansel Keys came out with a report saying that fat will kill you and it was based on a seven country study. He studied 21 countries, took the seven countries that made it look like we needed more grains

and less meat. And all of a sudden the government went, okay, we'll get behind that and we'll make that the food pyramid, we'll make the bases grains and everything else is going to be fine. At the same time it was kind of a twofold thing. We had a sugar crisis in this country. We had bad sugar cane seasons, and we started using, for the first time in history, we went to high fructose corn syrup from Europe,

from Asia, and once we got addicted to that shit and found out that you can use it as a filler and everything, we started putting it in ketchup and salad dressings, you name it. Everything became the filler of high fructose corn syrup and our weight started going up. When you think about, we used to have people were only eating 35 or 40 pounds of sugar per year and now we have people eating 180 pounds of sugar on average per year in this country. And look around, Dean and I were on an airplane coming here with probably what,

the 40 or 50 high school kids? Yeah, they were loud. Yeah, there wasn't a thin one in the group. And this is pathetic, these are 15, 16 year old kids, wasn't a thin one in a group. And when I was in high school in the 70s, if you were a chick that had an extra five pounds in your ass you were considered to chunky chick right you know that's the world we live in now I thought they were called Ruben Esk back then

back in my bed all right I get you look first of all Lewis is really sad because that was I mean a fat joke towards Kelly's bow should have been shot at that and he said nothing but was was part of it the subsidies they had for the grain? That's a guy that was the grain subsidy, because they had had a reason to motive to get rid of all this grain. And that's right, we started subsidizing corn, and then we had a ton of corn,

and then it was like, what are we gonna do with all this corn? And it got really cheap, because it was subsidized. So they started turning it into sugar, they used it as filler, they basically corn got into every single thing that we consumed. Because it was like a bag, that was bad, sugar one season or two seasons. Because no other country uses it. Well, and after that, it goes back further than that. We got into, we got into that business, the grain business during the, the great depression

because, you know, it was too big, forming was too big to fail. It was kind of GM in the last depression, you know, we too big forming was too big to fail it's kind of GM in the last depression yeah you know we had to bail them out they were too big to fail I mean you know Italian's this podcast is the new depression yeah that's just your own depression well you know we were made we're having a good time smashing you but then you get sad I didn't get sad you know you're rattling your bag no I was trying to ask a real question a little bit of a question that I was genuinely interested in yeah, everyone just started fucking shit no

Wasn't it was so fun Everybody else found it hilarious We were all laughing and then you Okay, wait, I have an idea. I think I think this goof on me for a second like really hard And take the I He's so good looking

We do it really well He's so good looking Kelly just Through Kelly makes me so makes me so angry. It's just seconding. I never had that feeling but I don't know. My eyebrows are twitching. First of all, it's silly.

We made everybody get to made in front of us. I get it every week. And then you get it one time and you shut down emotionally. That's true. I get it every week too. Are you all right?

I'm okay. Are you what's wrong with you? You're not you. Sad. I'm gonna have to do that again. If Kelly says one more word, I'm going to hit her. Oh boy.

Neena can hit. First of all, if you hit somebody hit her. Oh boy. No, you're not gonna hit first of all If you hit somebody in front of Gary a woman you're in trouble Gary's not a woman Never you hit you can't hit a woman. Second of all Michael. Can you believe this? Well, then what I noticed was it was when Kelly was making fun of him that pissed him off the most. Yeah, why did you shut down? No, it's not that easy. She didn't make fun of me. She jumped at everyone was making fun of me and she jumped up like, yeah, I might look

what we're doing to you. Sorry. You weren't doing anything to me. Sorry, that's what happens. We're in a room together talking, shitting with information. It's fun. Yeah, he said you didn't say anything? You said yeah, but so what I don't know Stay you put your rattle away I don't know it's got this I didn't get to see the funniest thing which was someone angrily open a coconut water

He's really non-white person. He did the whitest thing I've ever seen I'm just gonna have my coconut walk The way he reached into the bag He can't afford a gun I can afford a gun No, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh black market. Yeah, I'm one of those guns that don't fire all the time Oh black market, of course. Yeah, I'm one of those guns that don't fire all the time On your corner. Yeah gun you can break just hitting on a chimney like the Nero and God father

In two and boost Well, I mean, we're gonna go back into the boring podcast Sorry, but feel free. No, it's all right. It's you think it's boring. It's okay. I don't think it's boring. I wanted to ask a legitimate question. It's not about we. I'm gonna shut up. I'm fucking asking it. Shut the fuck up. Everyone shut up. That's not a baby, Rattle. That's a rattlesnake tale. How long did the pity party last? He's down to two buttons on that shirt. They call baddies. Even Adrian, the new intern loves it. Oh, is he the new intern? Yeah, I had no idea now. He's hot So what's your question

Nobody's gonna I'm not having Any type of carbohydrates besides vegetables for a long time is that actually good for your system because any type of carbohydrate besides vegetables for a long time, is that actually good for your system? Because carbohydrates feed your central nervous system. So I, that, the only concern when people, when I talk to people and tell them that I'm doing no carb diet or, you know, a, a no sugar no grain diet, that's the first thing anybody in the fitness industry says, which is like, hey, it's great to kind of like, to burn fat pretty quickly, but in the long term, are there any negative health deterrence first off when you're talking about the fitness industry that's all bro science

like you know what bro science is what is bro science what is the second the pro science is bro science yeah the people you're talking about it's when you go to the gym and say no bro this is the way I'm not what you want to do man you go to the gym and say no bro. This is the way What you want to do, man, you need to take this No bro not bro what you need to do is girl You need the really curl you're not hammer curl like bro. You got a hammer curl otherwise, you know bro high wraps low weight No, bro high weight low wraps. Yeah, bro. No medium bro bro. You got to have an orange Julius every Sunday

Julius You're gonna spend an hour finding an orange Why you fucking mansion lamp Why you fucking Manson lamp. Let me answer the question By Lewis is unfunny today Lewis by eating He's air to beans. He really is still eating carbs. Yeah, it's not a no-carb This is not this is not atkins. This is not you know any of this low carbs yet This is you're eating carbs. You're eating them in a form to fruit and vegetables Yeah, and you're not getting think about it a grain has no discernible vitamin to it when you say oh wait a minute

It's nice and they add that to it. Oh shit. You know milk think about it. Oh, I know bro, you know milk they add vitamin D Oh Fuck oh really really the most unhealthy thing you can eat. Really? Yeah, I know, the name, that's not gonna be. Shocking. Lewis just whispered that's the name of the podcast. It's a great name for a podcast. Now, it's the most the other one. It's the name of my next book.

Can you guys, can you still- The hostility towards oatmeal? That really rang true. I really love that. That in Kenwa, we have Kenwa, it's just. We actually, it's Kenwa. It's a pronounced Kenwa. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh We are we are super in the new book in the new book. We actually have a chapter called fucking law Wow, I love kina that's what I do to eat healthy. I won't I won't pronounce it kina as I always say what I won't

Pornounce a kina why what do you pass it? I think it's too pretentious to call a kina so what do we guys? I can show in yourselves as pretentious people know a kinawa kinawa. Yeah, we're calling it kinawa I'll let the pretentious people correct. Okay, fuck Kunoa or here's what I like to call it Jew grits Jew grits. Yeah, can I say that? Yeah, of course. Yeah Because I mean why eat Kimwa when you can have wet cardboard? There's even better tasting. Oh my god There's nothing good tasting about that shit. I thought they tell you that there's protein I don't want this protein to come. I mean they'd tell you that there's protein in it. But hold on, there's protein in it, come. I mean, you know what, you bet, do you?

Wait a minute, I do. My personal life is not a part of this. I feel like a lot of people have a seed though, so you can't eat seeds on the nurse or gonna grow. So as in his gizz, it's not that you can't eat it. It is a seed, it's not seed. It'll cause a glycogen spike or a glycogen load. Explain what this is.

Now, the one, I remember one that I had catch up on a piece of hamburger, and then I had salad dressing, and Dean was like, that's a fucking, that's a- Well, you got sugar bomb, right? I did. Whenever you get sleeping, that means that you had a glucose spike, and you can have a glycogen load onto your liver,

and when you have too much of the sugar hitting your liver, your body has to cover that and It covers it by releasing hormones, you know lapid and ghrel and insulin, right? And that conspires to make you fat So to share a similar to the caveman diet your body goes into a state where it starts to metabolically burn fat Right continuously. Yeah, okay So I want to make sure right you need you can't fuck around there is your diet, there is no cheat day because cheating will actually, it will slow down the metabolic benefits.

Yeah, but you can cheat. Okay, I like it. I'm doing a lot of things. I'm not really. We talk about it at the end of every one of my podcasts, I say put life into living. Do every now and then you can have something. You can't turn it into I'm taking Sunday off, because think about it, if you take the whole day of Sunday and have pancakes in the morning,

and then ice cream at midday, and then crow nuts in the afternoon, and you're eating all this shit, it's gonna take you until Wednesday of that week, for your body to even get back to zero. Yeah, I mean, there's versus if you have a couple of fucking cookies, or you're at the best pizza joint in the world, and you have a slice.

So you're saying, once, meal is probably a better thing. If're gonna cheat if you're gonna have a cheat day once a week one cheat it shouldn't be part of your psyche like yeah let me give you an example today I'm in New York I went to where do we go to have pizza Dean Lombardi's oh it's a Lombardi you guys said pizza you had pizza you guys broke the rule no my listen listen listen I'm gonna get the Listen. You're just a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're

a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you're a thing, you we get it. You don't want to live in a world where you're never going to have a slice of pizza, a good

bowl of pasta or something like that. So we're just saying, if you're in a place that has great pizza and you want to have a slice of pizza, have the pizza. If you're at a great Italian restaurant, you know, when you want to have a bowl of, don't waste it on chicken. Yeah, exactly. Go ahead and tell. I would tell.

Don't ritualize it. So every Tuesday you're going to eat like shit. But like a lot of people, I'm ritualized. I'm a type of person where I can't just get funny. Once a while. That's the type of person he is. Get on TV. Sorry, Luke.

Those day night, motherfucker. What's your night? Where can we see you? I will be on last comment saying that immediately is losing. Losing? Losing? It's a rare occasion which is one of a hundred different people.

So you have to just... My... I love you so much. That's all. I would replace you with me on the show. I... God, Lewis, I'm sorry, God. But like, I... I don't like this Lewis, by the way. What? Enjoying it? I so good Lewis I'm sorry but like I

Don't like this Lewis by the way enjoying it this serious Lewis I can't I literally want to know I'm in the process that like I just came from working out I get that you just came from fucking staring at Donuts and crying Shake the rally And with a new name for the podcast. Don't let you whisper that in the microphone. But the name is longevity. But I understand though, listen, working out, I have to add working out back in. That's a thing is, Lewis did do the no grains or no sugars.

You cut it out. He had his cheat day, but he also went to the gym. I can't, I don't wanna work out like a fucking athlete anymore. I don't wanna do what I did. Last time I lost weight around five years ago, I got to the point where I was not like an athlete. I was running up, I was out in L.A.

I was running up, running Canyon. Yeah, you know, running Canyon. Sure. The hard, the hard, not the professional bull hard way. And it was, run up, run all the way down, come back down, and then we go to Quiznos, I get a salad, and then I go

to the gym for two hours. And do three body work. And we would do that, and then we was going to want to do that every day. I did it every day for almost a year. You lost a lot of weight, right? I went down, oh I fucking got down to two bills and I was fucking shredded.

But when I couldn't do that anymore, all of a sudden I went a week and I took a week off like I deserve a break and then all of a, now my knees are fucked from doing all that. And I came back a year and a half ago, I went back into boxing with Keith and Amy, and that was when I was three bills, okay? And I'm doing boxing, and this guy pushed me

as I can't give up. I was doing everything he was telling me to do, fucking ruin my knees, okay? Picking the ball up and bouncing around. I had fucking nine babies I'm carrying around basically. And that's why this diet was, or not diet, and around, I had fucking nine babies I'm carrying around basically. And that's why this diet was, or not diet, this way of eating was better for me because I lost the weight.

Nine fat babies. I, I, I, you know, like a baby that was difficult, came out difficult, it was late. It wasn't premature, it was, yeah. It's staring at donuts and cronies. Well, so you're saying I should have said 11 babies. I'm saying this, I'm pretty sure in the babies, I'm like nine times nine pound babies, and you say and i i should have said eleven babies

i have been nine times nine pound it's nine heavy babies regularly living babies well that makes us living as a personal trainer so then you talk about the value of exercise is how you make your living getting people to exercise? Literally, exercise is a very, very poor way to lose weight. And that's coming from a guy who makes his living,

telling people to exercise. Exercise is very important for your health. To live more. And for your brain, it keeps me sane, I think. Yeah, I have to work out. Well, how we man dealt with that? He says, you know, he works out. As he's blowing up a glove on his head. He's washing his blowing up a glove on a day. Let's just keep it amongst artists.

Respected exorcizer and sometimes comedian how we met. I was collected a pointer of briefcases. I would say judge. I like his house. I got to be honest. Yeah. I always wanted your clients. Oh, yeah. Oh, he said this to you personally. Sorry. Nobody said selling out is profitable. I thought you heard it. Reth is in a magazine somewhere. This is like personal. How can you spot him if he needs help? Don't touch it. Don't touch it. I got it. I got it. You know, just let me die. People say that to me all the time. It's like, have you ever touched the guy? Yeah. He doesn't break when you touch him. No, but he gives you a

On his deathbed he's gonna realize he was like the whole time exercising his hapling is mental health What's what I just think I think that disease where you can't touch people when you choose is a rich person's thing Because when you're poor and you have to shake your slimy boss's hand at a fucking K-Mart, you have no choice. Oh, he recognizes that there are no therapists in third world countries. He gets it. But the bottom line is, he has this thing.

That's fine. He doesn't like to touch your hand, but I've touched him, I think. What's funny about this bump is that the people that work around him, everybody fist bumps there. The whole thing. But what's really weird is that you go to see one of the guys that work for him and they fist bump you And I'm like we don't have OCD we can touch it was it was acceptable for the nine months the fist bump was in I'm a bum burr. I have the grossest fucking I have Edward jizzer hands

Yeah, long as it's crazy sweaty hand so he fist bumps and people think I thought he just didn't like me It's weird when people look at me and they go are you a germophoboam like no I just don't want you to touch my X-Men powers. Yeah Palms like rivers is my native American name I think they like to be called Indians again. I'm sorry redskins. Oh That was Gary Young. No, but I think that Lewis actually brought up a good point back in the day, the longevity of this whole thing.

I'm at the point now where it's almost a year, okay? I lost weight, I got down, now I'm going, now I'm battling this fucking, I went off this week, okay? Here's what happened to me I I had a rough week I had a great week. This is usually what happens great fucking week great shows my special all the stuff's happening I'm very excited and then something bad happened Some weird stuff happened, you know personal life shit someone says this this guy said, dick or something false through and all of a sudden I'm sad.

So I went from, oh my God, to, oh my God. And now I wanna fucking react to that. I wanna eat. I wanna eat. Cause you used to be, I'd go and fucking bang chicks or I'd go smoke a cigarette and fucking. So you're dumb, Dullar, we're some fatso. Right.

Absolutely, when he gets- Bobby and I love that move. That's my favorite fucking move. It's a great fucking move. Are you kidding? No, I love that move That's my favorite fucking great fucking. Oh you kidding? No, I love that moon you know the other guy Get the honey junior So the best part of that movie is the beginning when he's crying because his cousin died because he's too fat I go get you grandmother a glass of water and he goes in the kitchen He pours the water sees the sauce on the stove. He grabs a piece. He's crying

and he pours the water, he sees the sauce on the stove. He grabs a piece, he's crying. He grabs the bread, rips off the end, dips the thing in the sauce, and then then dips the bread sauce into the cheese, and it's a perfectly covered sauce and cheese end a piece of bread. He's crying, so he's sad, he takes a bite, and then all the pain goes away and he goes,

and he stops crying. That, it is a fat classic, it is fucking exactly what. It is fucking exactly that movie Oh everyone should see that my wife so underrated my wife will power with me when it comes is you know I can I can fucking Jesus Christ. I want to eat how shitty tonight. Well, but you said I want to do it Okay, that's all I have to do she's trying you die and then and then I to do. She's trying to die. And then, and then I, uh, sorry. He's, that's what you got to do the rattle. Yeah, those jokes are funny without the rattle.

I started laughing when the rattle gave it. You're almost like I can't let him be meaner. He's just sad. Yeah, I know. Louis can't take a pounding. I didn't know that about him. No, I can take a patting shot. I'm trying to have a real conversation now. Dude, that's every week with you. Everybody's trying to talk real, and then you fucking throw in awful shit. That's what you do. You have a rattle because you say mean shit.

Like a snake. Grrrr. That's the whole concept behind you. Is that a snake's growl in your face? I'm not fucking Dan. I couldn't do a fucking rattle You get a few though make the sound of the penny going through a woman's veg No, it's in your act

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, all right now No, do you want to hang out? Sorry off the Empire State Building into a woman's at the revenge. All right, well I want to thank you guys for coming out of here to the Michael Lawrence is a ganging easy good guy Howard is my favorite guy I weren't for now We got a candy bar and Mike get any candy Anyways, so here's the deal.

We went to the Italian restaurant. Okay, this is me. This is why I'm fuck. I went to the Italian restaurant. I got fucking Rigatoni and chicken cullet. Separates the chicken cullet on the side so it doesn't get soggy with a meat sauce and then the Rigatoni over here.

And then I'm there. She got her little meal. We get a salad salad and while I'm there. I got a I go let me get a slice of pizza I ate a slice of pizza She wouldn't let me get it. I snuck it. I ate it in the parking lot like a fucking fat fuck And then as a meeting and I look up. What do I see a Dunkin Donuts? What is Dunkin Donuts attached to all the time? Baskin and Robbins. I walk in I grab now because I'm having a cheat day or I'm off anyways I go in and get mint chocolate chip for her not for me. Yeah, of course. Where this before the meal still? That's like

Are you fuck you? Wait, I had a pizza pizza. Then I got the ice cream. I brought it, I didn't eat it in the parking lot. I'm not that fucking bad. I brought it home. Then we had dinner. I ate it to my full and then we had ice cream, okay?

But the, here's the thing. It's not the pasta, it's not even the ice cream. Even though those are bad, it's the slice of pizza that I snuck. That's what kills me. Have you done that before? Because I've done that. No, don't worry, it'll all be what kills you. I have. I was fucking almost brilliant.

Yeah. You understand how fast you have to be and funny to go, don't worry, that was great. You deserve big a laugh on that. I'll add it in and post Have you ever done that before because I used to do that all the time like because I'd be embarrassed I'd want to eat more so I'd order McDonald's and then before I'd come I'd order like an extra burger and I'd eat the burger on the way home And not say anything to anybody and just have an extra burger secrets, dude So bad see when you drive a cat like fucking a hooker It's it's seriously like getting a hooker. Nothing like that It really is because I don't need to get a hooker. You got a girlfriend, right?

Or you got a wife or whatever the fuck and or you can bang regular chicks and then I go out and get a whore Why and I you know tell anybody it's this fuck it's it's it's it's the horse the pizza in the parking lot It's it's it's the horse the pizza in the parking lot absolutely The pleasure of the whore last longer the food It doesn't like seven seconds pleasure of the horn does not last longer as soon as you come you're like what did I do? Yeah, I could have a I could get caught my whole life could be everything could be gone. Well, you ever sit for hours I was like I deserve that you know Did you ever order a hooker and then jerk up before she got there and then cancel her? No, but I

Happened me neither I'll bet you that happens and I'll bet you they charge like a little bit nope. They don't know They tried to full them out that's a Price that's the door standing you don't answer the door you Here's a 20 just for the after I love that way did you just told us how to make a prostitute feel sad. Like that's it. I beat the system. Make a face.

You get support or kid. It's turned on by the thought of her coming over and fucking you. And you joke off and you're like, what am I in it? I'm not about to spend $120 on this, Jack. Why didn't you just jerk off before you ordered the hookers? Because you want to order the hookers. Why don't you get a hooker for $120 box? Craigslist.

Hmm. I've heard. Do you think about what her pimped us to her afterwards or you just go about your Back empty handed and he's like what's the main yeah the next guys get a deal with a one-eyed one-finger hooker She goes back empty hands Shoked her out like the fucking Clint Eastwood movie in the back of a fucking Cadillac Or a shorter similarly Tell him what a similarly is And the papers like this is what happens whenever you go to a Gomez's house you always get fucked You know her name is is no Gomez

You got a fucking this in the making. I'm Perez. What was your name? Lupita. You think I'd go for a Spanish hucker? Come on, bro. You're for a Russian or an Asian. So, here's the thing. I now, now, now, I've already given up.

So that's the process that fucking kills is when you give up. And now, my force fields, my walls are weakened. So now the next night I come home, I'm walking with Dan Soda after the seller. I ate good all night, I'll walk at home and I'm like, I just I wanted a piece of Joe's pizza. The best pizza in the fucking New York City right around the corner. Okay. And I go, I was like, you know what? I want pizza. And he was like, let's go I was like you know what I want pizza and he was like let's go I'll my treat that's all I needed we go over get two slices and as we're walking out There's a place next door. They have gelato

Oh, yeah, I don't know that's that is a dangerous corner That is a computer trying you should never go to that corner ever that's a thing So we go in there and I get up now. Here's a thing you dip it in the chocolate, okay? Okay, and then you dip it in the crushed ice cream cone and then you dip it back in the chocolate I invented that didn't even know you could do while you're waiting for them to dip it You get another ice cream cone that you eat outside Go back in it grab That's when you know you're fat when you're science fat when you're coming up with

Boys to be fat your science fat when you're coming up with new ways to be fat. I'm bored of binging and purting. So what we do is we have the system in place. There's a good point to all this. But wait, I'm not finished, but you never get enough. No matter how much you eat, you just want more. That's what sugar dust. Yeah.

Okay. All right. Now let's, let's go home now. Let's get home. All right. Me and Dan Skirl lives near where I live. So we go all the way to the fuck home. We've had our pizza. We've had our ice cream our gelato with dipped in the thing with double dip I get home since since Lots of protein in that Bobby

Exactly what he's sad about I'm literally in the middle of a tragic story of my life Yeah, he throws a dick suck and I laugh, I think it's funny. He gets sad. You're a better person. Bobby, Bobby, six people were shot this weekend. You had gelato. Let's not use the word tragedy so much. All right.

As long as you don't use those fucking ET fingers in my face again, Jesus Christ, you scared the shit out of me. You're just got better reception in here. Dean, everybody. Dean is really laughing. It's like some lot of stuff. It's a good laugh. Oh my god, his fingers moved like different.

They moved. Oh, like that guy who in a total recall, who was a mutant all along, Benny. Oh yeah, the little, I love that Bobby's having a weight loss episode with his after picture. That's fucking incredible. Oh my god, Michael Lawrence is like 11 for 11 today. I thought he is no joke. And when I first met him, I was like, Jesus Christ, he has no jokes.

But now on this show, he's everything you fear. This is his medium. No, he glasses beard. No, not me. I'm actually, he is every, and you know what? He's everything I am. In you know what he's everything I am Comedian. He's everything I am on the inside. You don't fear glasses in a beard. You have diabetes. No, I don't That's our this weekend. We get a pass for like a year. All right. We are no longer what you should be afraid of

All right, so anyways, so now I go home right that was fucking great by the way I go home, right? That was fucking great, by the way. I go home. The cute rich. I am, man, the fucking Eurasians. I come for you. And I'm already, I said, fuck it. And I still wanted more. I was still hungry for some reason. So I got chips. I got chipped. I got chipped.

Okay, I got the chips. And it wasn't enough, then I got wheat dens. I wanted the carbs. I wanted different. But you see, that's what, you know, earlier, when I mentioned during the whole bro science thing, once your body releases, Grelan and Lepton and all these hormones.

Right. You don't have a choice. It's like a woman going through a hot slash. She cannot stop a hot slash. Once those hormones are released, it's gonna happen. Once you made the decision to have the slice, it was over with, it was game on. And your body is very susceptible

to it because you're an addict. So it's just like every other addiction when you open your mouth and said I can go for a slice and your body says I'm buying before he even said I'm buying you are already fucked. So what do I do? Don't open your mouth literally and figuratively. So don't have the pizza. Yeah, no get your mouth wide shut. Not until you get yourself on the control.

You had it, because you can't just have one slice. Yeah, but see Dan enabled you, because Dan, no, so Dan should have went, no, we didn't do that. That's the blame, you didn't, no, it's not Dan's fault. No, I bet no, you need to get Dan off of it. I can't blame Dan. No, but you're in a main like. You didn't put the pizza in your mouth unless he did.

If he was a heroin, if he was a heroin addict and he was like, let's go get some heroin. No, we would be like, how about food addict? Look, you can, in the butler, I stopped smoking cigarettes two packs a day after 10 years. I still struggle with weed, but I, let me tell you something dude, you can struggle buying it because you're poor. I'm doing pretty good. Sorry. It's not funny when it's true. I had a rattle. I needed a rattle

on that one. Just let every nose get in. He's living next to the building that fell down. You let him shake that rattle. It's the only thing he owns. I don't have to put this rattle on lay away for three weeks. I stole it from my kid. I filled it with my savings. Just sand. Those are his teeth, he couldn't take care of. I didn't think he could. Some day they will return home. You know what, Bobby?

It's almost like you need permission. Shut up, Kelly. Hey, hey, hey. It's almost like you need permission. No, he doesn't. He said he did it with. No, but he did it with, he did it with, like you need permission up Kelly. Hey, hey, it's almost like you need permission No, he did it with Kelly does no, but he needs you did it with he did it with like dawn and then we and we would But you know, but here's the addict with food. You'll look for that permission and anything If he starts blaming Dan Sodorant and you enabled me you I'm just saying Let me just fucking finish

Blame him. I'm just saying that he looks open. Let me just fucking finish I'm getting Kelly I'm kidding But it's like I'm a fatty. I know this I know everything you ever been Dean and Dean and Vinnie know that they're sitting on the couch with you My sweat is dropping on them. Both their legs are fucking hot because of you. No, they're the biggest one on the couch. They're just looking at her going in. That's what's happened to America. I was 60 pounds when I came to Australia.

You lost 60 pounds? You were 60 pounds heavier than you are right now. No, I was a joke. I was skinny when I came from Australia now, big because this is what happened to America. Oh, I love that. This is what I hate too, is that this thinnberry. That was the joke, she gets the bomb in, because nobody left. I won't give it to you. She said it was a joke.

I bomb first, I'll take the bomb. No, but she bombed after you, so. Can we have a wrap those around his fingers? Tie them off. She's just pop up his super hands. Super. If there's a bomb in there, we have a silk bandana. Stop up his super hands If there's like a bomb and then we have a silk bandana and next time he has a fucking way where where we can fucking give him That's I'm gonna tell you what away what I'm gonna tell you what a way while was that I don't have a joke So I have an accent so I'll just make up a word and they'll think it's from my country

Way wow Kelly what happened there didn the dingo eat your punchline? All right listen we're gonna take a break. I love it. I'm stuck in the upper the show. I'm right in the dango at your punchline. I'm right in the fat jokes. In the accent jokes. I'm really fucking crazy.

All right Lewis is gonna go. We're gonna we're gonna take a break. We're gonna talk about, I'm gonna do a couple ads we have for the show. We're gonna get back into this. I actually wanna talk to Dean about some, you guys writing this book, which is great, the new book that's coming out,

that's why you're in New York. Also, I wanna talk about Dean about writing on a rest of development, being a show runner, and all this Hollywood stuff that I've learned about in the last few years, actually. You're a badass now, you're great on Louis. Everybody, get your ass about Louis. I get a lot of great stuff, which I love.

I was a little nervous because the last scene that I did was shirtless, I was just in a towel. And we were supposed to shoot something else that day. And at the last minute, he goes, I don't want to shoot that. And I was like, all right, well, maybe I got to go. He was like, I'm gonna shoot this. And he handed me the script. He just had something he wrote.

And it goes, you're just gonna come in in a towel and sit down on the couch. And I'm gonna be try to help me fix the phone and I was like I have to be in a towel. I was like oh my this is when I was around 300 Right, I keep getting asked about that by the way This was prior to I'm gonna tell around his way people like I thought Bobby lost weight and he was fat on Louis And I was like well, I think he shot that before yeah, we we don't shoot it in real time. Tell people that it's not-

Yeah, Louis is not alive. Tell stupid people how the business works. I shot that a long time ago. Yeah, those were Hollywood people by the way. Like, yeah, when we shoot Louis live, every fucking night. You know what's interesting when I watch that scene is that you say you're your biggest, you don't have mantids. Well, I worked out a lot, but they are tits. Let's not get carried away. I know, like, you know, when guys have mantids. Well, I worked out a lot, but they are tits.

Let's not get carried away. I know when guys have mantids, and they kind of look like saggy and a little bit like I'm not. I'm thinner. You don't have any, but you don't have any. I'm laughing at her not having that knowledge. She's a fat bitch. That's the problem with that.

Jesus. Jesus. She said it. Don't say it twice. Australian. We are continuing the never ending feud of Australians in Puerto Ricans. We are old-fashioned. We settle this in a soccer match. No one cares about. We put his foot in the month. How are you gonna make fun of my weight, Kelly? Oh my gosh. All right, here's the hint. Come on, handle it.

All right, Liz. There's nothing's getting thrown at him, but he's like crying like a little baby. Okay. A little baby. Shut up. Ah! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Just pass it, bend down into Lewis, and now I'll smash it. Yeah, you just bend down to what you're talking about. He is, little baby. Oh my gosh! No! What the fuck? Just pass it bend down into Lewis Yeah One more you be knocked out

Body blow body blow You Kelly body blow, body blow. You, Kelly, don't take any shit off anybody. It's weird that on an episode about removing dead weight, Kelly and Lewis get the most attention. I can now, that is now by the best. Jesus Christ. Jesus, Mike. Well, here's the thing with that Louis thing, I was really scared to take my fucking shirt

off. I mean, dude, I got, there's a thing with that Louis thing. I was really scared to take my fucking shirt off. I mean, yeah, dude I got just a fucking million people So you know you're gonna have to do it at all. No, not at all and that's It's fucking it's terrifying. I mean, I did it and I actually got a lot of great It was funny too by the way if it wasn't funny I would have been like oh I'm not really doing this, but it was a very funny scene. It's very you it look Here's a deal. It's what it is That's the one thing I had to accept when I got on this fucking way of eating is that I had to accept

Where I'm at and this is what I am I'm I'm fucking fat and I still am I'm still not where I want to be But I'm still learning how to do this. I'm still learning how to eat I'm still I got I stopped reaching out for'm still learning how to eat. I'm still, I stopped reaching out for help. I used to call you and you. I stopped that. You quit calling back. We would, hey. Right.

Well, I was like, we would actually try, we text you, call you and I'd be like, you hear from Bobby, and I ain't here from Bobby. We figured you were in a cave somewhere. I was, yeah, I was in, I were fucking shut down because I didn't want to, I knew what I was doing. I know where I'm at. And it's really funny that you guys

are here this week because this is the week that I started meditating in the mornings. I'm gonna start working out tomorrow. I'm gonna work out three days a week just walking on my treadmill that I have in my fucking house. Thanks to yowzerfitness.com if you you're a treadmill niece, just go to Yowzer Fitness for the foldable treadmill that go right in your home, especially in New York City.

But yeah, it's funny that you guys are here because that's the one thing that even with Lewis, when he was losing weight, there was this thing back and forth, when I did it, then he started doing it, and then we went on the road to get, and we would eat, it was this thing back and forth, when I did it, then he started doing it, and then we went on the road to get it, and we would eat, it was this you need help, you can't do it by yourself. You also need people around you, because the first time I lost weight, a lot of it was people around you being like, hey dude, good fucking job, and it's comics, we need that type of gratification.

Okay, but you need to learn that. You're in your fifth fett, so it's worn off with everybody people are like alright, we get it Well, no, I it had as it because I got the praise again when I lost it right and now but that goes away And you have to learn when the praise goes away and you're just kidding Well when you're just skinny and you're not getting the oh my god you look good anymore. Yeah We you know me yeah, you like a for constant praise the constant But that's like when you hunt for pussy. It's like it's you need just the gratification of the girl going yes I mean it's not even fucking it's just the gratification hunt for pussy. Yeah, hunt for pussy

That's the name of the punk. That's the shun Connery's next movie called hunt for pussy Look at me red October. she's on her period. Well, it's a mixture of red October and a James Bond film. Hunt for pussy. Hello, pussy. But that's the part that I would like to get into with that. Okay, because you guys, let's be honest.

You've been skinny your whole life, Finney. No. I gained weight after college football. I gained 56. After I was a D1 athlete, I put on 10 pounds. Yeah. And another thing too is you had cancer. Yeah. What?

He's a cancer. No, she didn't know grains and cancer did. What? Tell you who's weight. You can keep that low 90. Oh yeah, that's the other guy. Hey, T. So I.

Speaking of cancer, Lewis Gomez. Lewis, check your mess. And the J is fucking. I give you that band data. All right, I'm going to take the hit on the hand. We're going to go to commercial with me having the band and I just kind of the trash Lewis and I had nothing. Here's the deal.

If you have any questions, if you watch in live, make sure you type them in the Skype. We got a scope was If you have any questions, if you watch and live, make sure you type them in the Skype we got a scopo was watching the chat room in there. If you have any questions for Vinny or Dean about the book, the diet or not the diet, the way of eating no sugar no grains, please ask them in there. Or if you've got anything for Lawrence, Gary, Gellman, or Lewis, or anybody else in here, just hit it up in the chat room. If you're not listening to this live, then go fuck yourself, listen to this commercial. Be used. I use a sensor.

I use whatever it is you. You pay a lot of money for those blades and you throw them out real quick and you go to go in. Yeah, you're telling me there's an alternative to this? There's an alternative to this and it's called Harries. Okay, you go to harries.com. All right, you just made every listener puke I have a I have a good Little bit of gas. I have a good. This is great. Actually. This is a great company. It's a great. I've actually

Investigated this company and they're they got great great stuff And here's the thing Andy Andy's story is this, he wanted to do a drug store one time, waited 10 minutes for somebody to unlock the case where the razors were held. Animals. But a four pack of blades and some shaving cream, it wasn't the best purchase ever.

Okay, 30 dollars too. Okay, it's around $25. He paid $25 with the products and the brands, he didn't really even speak of it's it's around $25 you pay $25 With the products and the brands. He didn't really even speak of it. It's crazy. He just felicky been That'd be a better way. Yeah, the sensors good for one shit Well, here's the thing. There's a line and then you get to find somebody and then you got to go and they got to unlock it Or it's behind the counter and and then we're speaking to probably the lowest common denominator of people These are people that we're gonna see the us or Dwayne Reed

The worst I'm making a classic Just talk They're working on it talk speak I want to turn you off Fucking Lewis honest to God. We will remind you that this had needs not be questionable as well honest to God. I will remind you that this ad needs not be questionable as well. What do you mean by that? I mean, well, that's the only word that they use. So I don't know what that means. I don't know if that means just no Lewis at all or just to make it. I tried to tell them to shut up during it and he kept yapping. What did I say? Because people that work at CVS told them to take the out of way from me because I i i stuck as a human they love this so no they don't care what did they say they said all i would say what to rob

was questionable that's all i would say and rob couldn't get more than answer out of them they don't want they want just the ad read they don't want the banter you want to read it oh i'm sorry do you want to just go away i think the banter's like i'm a week talking about you know you were doing amazon clarifying amazon wants banter's like, you were doing Amazon. You were fine, Amazon wants banter. Amazon a gamefly like banter. I love it, Kelly is trying to rattle you up against me. I didn't say anything out of line.

She really did. Everything questionable. There was nothing questionable. You told them to pull the ad. I told them to pull the ad. You told them, wow, how is that? That was me on your side. That's a questionable.

Wow, is pulling the ad. I'm not questionable. I'm a brand ambassador. You're so disgusting. If I was them, I would pull the ad. How not questionable I'm a braver you're such you're so disgusting if I was them I would pull the ad how is that questionable I hope you choke on that I hope I hope somebody thinks it's a real rattlesnake somebody and they shoot first right through the fucking door no motherfucker is a rattlesnake in beat two kooka kooka kooka

was that a few other shoot it yeah the least effective commander of kill your I'm gonna read this ad later. I'm gonna eat it right now. I'm gonna do it right now. Everybody, nobody talk. I'll read it for you. No. You're not reading it for me. I can read it. Nobody talk. I'm gonna eat it for you.

I'm gonna eat it for you. I'm gonna eat it for you. I'm gonna eat it for you. I'm gonna eat it for you. I'm gonna eat it for you. I'm gonna eat it for you. I'm gonna eat it for you. I'm gonna eat it for you.

I'm gonna eat it for you. I'm gonna eat it for you. I'm gonna eat it for you. I'm gonna eat it for you. I'm gonna eat it for you. I'm gonna eat it for you. I'm gonna eat it for you. I'm gonna eat it for you. I'm gonna eat it right now everybody nobody talk I'll read it for you. No, you're not reading it for me. I can read it nobody talk This guy went into a drugstore waited around 10 minutes for someone to unlock the case Where the razors were being held and bought a four pack of blades and some shaving cream It wasn't the best purchase experience to say to the lease and then

and some shaving cream. It wasn't the best purchase experience to say to the lease. And then this guy, and he walked out and looked into his bag and had receipt for over $25 with products and brands that he didn't really speak to the consumer. He just felt like he was a better way. So what did he do? Okay. Focused on providing guys and a great shaving experience for the fraction of the price. Okay? Clean product design, less is better, high quality blades engineered in their own factory in Germany, Gary's not the best spoke person. Yeah, I'm questionable. OK. The blades are half the price of the competitors.

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Not this crap. A lot of stuff is plastic and it falls apart. It's in the shower a couple days and it's gone. The quality of these, the razor handles themselves are made of great material. And they're cool. They look cool. I shave my head. I shave my my face. I go on the road a lot. I like when the maid sees that I have cool shit. She puts it up nice and neat on the thing. So I want you to go to Harries.com and use the

promo code Kelly to save five dollars off your first purchase. That's five bucks off your first purchase. Okay, Harry's.com used the promo code Kelly and saved five dollars off your first purchase right now. We are back. It wasn't a couple live. We're back live. wasn't called live. We're back live. All right, thanks for hanging in there live people and those who weren't live, you didn't really hang in at all.

You just took two seconds. It was like time travel. We'll be back and we will back. It's like watching a movie on, on demand or a TV show podcast. a movie on on demand or a TV show podcast in which what is happening I don't know a secret language and don't take breaks we do have a secret language because we know each other for about 20 years over 20 years a lot of shorthand me and him we bonded over comic books and cigars yeah and pussy

and comedy and comedy yeah I remember it was weird so so just to get off topic of comic books and cigars. Yeah. And pussy. And comedy. And comedy. Yeah. Yeah. It was weird. So just to get off topic a little bit, because Gary's going to take off early. I got therapy, guys. So here's the thing. I look like I have it all together, but I don't.

Uh-oh. Is that really where we're going? All right. We have the same. Guys, the world famous. Hello. Who's this? Jim Serpgo.

He just talking about P.O. Serp. Oh, the the Serp the Serp. He doesn't like to be on the serpent We so we're doing shows, you know, I'm getting ready to do my hour June 17th at the village on the ground guys Can you not step on the fucking date? Of the fucking thing for you. No, you're not. I thought I was. No, you're not. Now you're not even involved. Well, I thought I wasn't.

You're not. Were you planning on letting me do it? You can do cool down at the end of the show. I'm going to be the next. Bye, everybody. Gary, this is what a narcissistic piece of shit is. I'm in the middle of plugging my hour. I'm giving the, I'm doing warm up.

Yeah. Over the date. And also, he didn't trust you to say that this Jemoka is gonna do warm up. But he's not doing anything. That's how he muscles his way into people. Oh wow. See, when a movie trailer just tells you

what the special features are gonna be on the blue ray. Yeah. Oh, audio commentary. No, they don't do that. Just only gives a fuck what a fucking shit dick what a people just go to the special to see the warm-up act guys check me out June 17th doing warm-up he's not even I'm not even you

know I'm coming now I'm taking you take it away you take it for me and I know you for B can come you stay home and watch the kid girlfriend he's gonna he's gonna do cool down. That's where he goes on after you and He just did the same joke. Are you gonna do repeat? That's what you tell the same joke the same joke is Gary go But that's very telling us to wear Michael Lawrence's head is that he's just like calculating different jokes in his mind the whole time The galvanetic ignoring Goldman and ignoring the Anyways, we're doing June 7th.

I'd like this business! I'm kidding, you're going to love it. June 7th. I don't want it. June 17th at the Village Holy Crown. I'm doing my hour. Jim Cervico is producing this along with Bobcat Gulfwait is directing it.

We've got a lot of great people involved. I'm very excited about it. And I'm tuning up the last three weeks. I'm in New York or two weeks. I'm in New York and I'm doing 15 minute chunks. I had five four sets on Friday, five on Saturday. And I would do 12 to 15 minute chunks of the hour. So by the end of the night,

I would just do the hour in a row and I'm fucking annihilating. I'm killing my energies there. I'm doing the night I would just do the hour in a row and I'm fucking annihilating. I'm killing my energies there. I'm doing the, the, I'm kind of, you know, a lot of times on weekends I won't push it as hard as I can because I'm only doing 12, 15 minutes pot, you know, it's not like I'm headlining or whatever. But I really pushed it this weekend to see where it goes and it was great the last weekend and then this weekend. So, you know, I do the show on fucking Friday or Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, right?

I think so. No, Friday night. Friday night. Because I was looking for this fuck's face Saturday. I do the show Saturday, you know, I'm kinda, you know, I don't, I kind of incorporate everything into the show. I'll go up and I'll ask questions and blah, I don't need to. I've done it with, I just go up and tell the jokes,

but I go up and I fucking hate what's up. How you doing? I say shit to people sometimes. And, you know, I apparently, I said something to this kid or whatever and he got offended and he sends me this fucking text, this tweet that night This piece of shit And here's what I have the problem with I don't have a problem with not liking me as a comedian

Which I think happens on every show you know They kind of should sometimes you know, there's people that don't like you know, you know, I mean yeah Yeah, I get that I'm not for actually me. I'm not for I'm not Not middle-of-the-road guy. I'm not monologue Bobby where I'm doing stuff that standards and practices Would fucking approve of well that and there's a power to that too like it would like when Carlin died That were people who got off on just saying I never liked them like people find power in their opinions now That's also the problem with Twitter. It's the problem with the world, the technology.

Is that people have power? Well, there's no accountability online now. Now it's so easy, like back in the day, if you wanted to tell someone you didn't like them, you'd have a write a letter that would never get to them or you had to go up to their face and say, I don't like you. And nobody wants to fucking go up to somebody's face

and say, hey dude, I don't like you because you're gonna get punched in the fucking job by somebody. So it's very easy to have, they call them keyboard warriors in the MMA world, to sit behind a keyboard and talk shit on a message border on a YouTube video and fucking give you a penny. The thing is, I have to get up to therapy

so I can talk about being undermined on this podcast. To... Hahaha. So... Or you can just write a blog about it. Hahaha. So, I, uh, so this guy writes me a letter. A tweet actually,

Are you fat fucking bald fuck? Blah blah blah blah. Okay, alright, he gets it so far good. So that he goes, Is that Kelly's new laugh? What else is in the story? I don't even laugh like a shadow. And I want to hear what's coming. Lewis heard fat fucking bald fucking thought you were talking about him

But you got better with the rattle as the show I worked on it in my head So then I and then he tweets Gary Gary you are my favorite tonight at the seller So Gary retweets it, but it was a setup because he tweeted Gary and Gary retweets a nice tweet. But right after that he goes, you have far the best because that fat fuck again attacks me with Gary in the tweet, which as friends, I'll tell you what was nice about me as a friend. He didn't retweet that even though it was very positive. I'm on my side. But you did retweet this fuck.

Before I knew that he was going to go after you. Right. And then he went after me. That fished you. Right. And then I called Gary, 2.30 in the morning, you need to do something. And he goes absolutely.

And we read the tweet together, the whole chain of it. And he was like, fuck him. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I blocked him. And I. But you still favor the tweet did you favorite that we will he printed it out I've retweeted the one that didn't

deconstruct Bobby's act what did you say to him in the tweet that you tweeted which is so gone on the way you attacked him you you scolded him you dressed them down yeah you said I cannot have you talk to or something like that said, I cannot have you talk to, or something like that? Yeah, I can't have you talk to a friend like that and blocked. He wrote, blocked in all capitals. Yeah. Which is really like blocked.

Yeah. And then I, and then I, I bought, I mean, I gave him the worst thing that could possibly happen to him. I took away access to me. Yeah, well, apparently, yeah, because he loves you. Yeah, he thinks you're the fucking cat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're porque él lo loves yo. Sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, en medianas a domicilios solo pidiendo el line. ¿Saparao? 3 por 1, 3 por 1, ah no no no. ¡Dominos!

Pizza. ¿Suéñez con un futuro más allá de los estudios de grado? Gracias a las becas de posgrado en el extranjero, de la Fundación La Caixa, puedes estudiar en las mejores universidades y centros de investigación del mundo. Tu talento te mueve. Solicitate veca en fundación la caixa.org. like fucking I the first time I block someone I don't think I've got an off more in my life and I'm engaged that said but it's the fucking most beautiful thing I Does it I don't like it. I wish we didn't have to do it. I get the worst fucking because everyone who hates me

Looks like me and wonders why I've gotten anything and I had a guy literally tell me on Christmas I'm not funny and that he was unfollowing me on fucking Christmas like 3 p.m. On Christmas Why here's my problem. Why do you need to let me know I know? I know we were talking about that on the way here, right Dean? Yeah, we're on funny might this Well, yeah that we don't need a softball game to get to You're gonna walk in slow motion to center field Thank you Tell tell Alan I said it. Hey, what's up?

We were talking about that on the way here because you know and then Gary just pops back in in two minutes and goes I will. Hi everybody. I always text. Okay, fine. We were talking about that on the way here because you know. And then Gary just pops back in in two minutes and goes, BOOH! We're so deep funny. Oh man, I love that. I'm like running out of juice. I love it. He sweated it up through his hands.

I can join you now, we belong. So go ahead, man. We have a book that has over 700 Amazon reviews. And only what Dean, like 12, 13, 14, one star reviews, most of them are five star reviews. Which by the way is hard because most critics are only going on to shit on stuff. So that means it's even more telling of what a good book it is. Yeah. People love fitness confidence. Go ahead, Dean. We were talking about this earlier of how the type of person who would give you a one-star review. Dean, go ahead. Yeah. Well, they just, you know, they come out. What

we were finding because you always want to find out like, who are these motherfuckers that come in and do that, which is fine. you know, everybody can have an opinion but then you click on like see all my reviews and you're like well what are these people in general? Like what else do they feel about other shit? And it turned out for the most part for this book is this is a one off. They come on just to say shit about this one particular thing

and they've never reviewed anything else before. And you know, it's just a- Well here's a problem I have with this guy is that you attacked me without a re, I can't, you know, you're attacking me, uh, violently, I was there. I was, I was, you could have came up and saw, but you know what I think, you could have, you could have came up and, right to my face, that's not powerful enough. They want to, and by the way, they're cowards.

Yeah, but it's like, you know where I'm at. You could have came up to me like you know where I'm at. You could have came up to me. You know what I mean? Yeah, you're not like, I'm just here's the misconception. You're in public. Yeah, but like, especially with comedy,

I find it that people think that all comics do is bus balls all the time and that's it. What we mostly do is just talk about the work we're not getting. You know, it's like a lot of insecurities and fears and then you bus balls. Yeah. But you don't do one about the work we're not getting. You know, it's like a lot of insecurities and fears and then you bust balls. Yeah. But you don't do one or the other, you do both. But people think of it like in some way that guy thought it was like a badge of honor.

Like I got to tell Bobby was a fat football. I think what happened is that I kind of incorporated him and his friend into the show, which I do. You know, I, I, I, I, he blah blah blah, you know but that's a comedy routine but they but they think they don't understand comedy now they take it per se people are getting so offended at comedy shows now i had a guy write a letter he was up front he looked he uses guy in a white suit

he was really tall he had a really you know not a big head but he looked he looked like her muncher a little bit not a lot a little, but he was a big guy in a white suit and he's right in the front, they sat him in the front. And I was like, oh my god, look what? I'm like, why, you guys are asshole. Why would you sit this motherfucker here? Holy shit. And I said you got a big head.

And I always say that like, you got a big head, like Dutch people, Europeans have bigger heads than Americans, mainly because they have smaller bodies than us, and their heads to me seem bigger. And I meant that like that, he took it like I was, like I have, and I guess he wrote a letter, he's always been insecure about his head, he had. That's all.

But everybody, he's whole childhood, and he wanted me suspended. Right. And that was probably, that way that's crazy to me Do because this happens a lot and I've had it. I had somebody called a comedy club recently You want me to like I got a kid dude you want me to lose money because you were offended by some fucking joke at a place Where people make jokes are you out of your fucking mind? It's the world we're living in now You know, but that but do that's fucking going after my livelihood

Yeah, but do we have to start putting signs at a comedy club like when they're live taping no look We you will be if you get maybe offended you may Yeah, like what said and it you have no if you enter you give up your right to confucan plane or to sue or whatever you have If so don't come if you're sensitive about what, the way you look or about your views, don't step into this room. Do we have to really, I hope she dies of cervical cancer and I wasn't being funny about it.

I genuinely did mean that, but apparently her like friend, well, long it takes to die from that by the way. Don't that, she's like, I literally, did I literally said that? That's the point though, you know that long. Dude, I literally said that. I was like a long slow death of cervical cancer, right? So Apparently she said her friend died of cervical cancer, so she left crying, right?

And then her mom called the comedy club like that night and then it turned into it was her mom's sister So it was her aunt so it was bullshit no matter what but it's like Listen here's here's can I say something and I don't mean to I'm not throwing you under the bus at all I don't but there's a big difference between what you just, you really meant die. No, I didn't really mean that. But you really meant I was being venomous, but I was trying to hang on. Let me finish. I wasn't being venomous.

No, I'm not saying you shouldn't be able to say what you're saying too. I'm just saying I wasn't being venomous. I was just saying you, you know, look man, you're, you're, you have a white suit on. You don't, you're sitting up the front You know you're your head your head is big Bobby. You shouldn't have to explain it. Yeah, but here's the thing I was if I knew that I was hurt. He was laughing. There's another thing wait He's his exactly He was he was laughing his wife was loud everybody at his table was laughing. I'm a 20 year pro

I know when people are uncomfortable. I know when somebody doesn't like me You know what I'm saying? I would not go forward if I said something that hurt his feelings or Sar's wife's face if they weren't laughing I wouldn't I would have stopped right I understand but he was laughing and I think what he I Look I don't I felt bad and I don't, I felt bad. And I don't wanna hurt, I am not here to hurt people's feelings. Right. That's not what I do. I want everybody to have a good time.

You know what I mean? But I am, how the fuck do I know? You have a, you're sensitive in one, you were laughing when I made fun of this guy. Because. You were laughing when I was making fun of me, my fatness, but something went on you for a second and you took it like, oh my god.

It's the world we live in. We created this real slippery slope of words. And when we started taking words off the table, it crept into the comedy clubs, which it should never have. Well, here it is, it goes back to Twitter, it goes back to everybody having an opinion, it goes back to emails, it goes back to everybody having an opinion. It goes back to emails.

Well, it's empowerment too. You know, that whole cancel co-bear thing when they like actually talk to the woman who started that campaign. She even said she's like, I don't even care if it gets canceled or not. We just wanted the word out. So it's like she didn't even stand by her words. You know, like, so it's like, you know, you don't give a shit of this show gets canceled And these people who work get hired is just about it someone's that's people's jobs Yeah, and it's so narcissistic that you go like you're livelihood should be taken away because I do not have the same opinion as you I do not understand what you're funny It's like that is that it's such a weird thing that people have in them They go you think differently than me so you should be punished your money Should be taken away from you that is where it's fucking crazy This is why I defend people like Donald Sterling and I don't freak out when he says some racist shit

Fuck it, dude. I would rather a 90 year old billionaire be able to say some racist shit and let us be able to have our words and figure out What's funny than having the PC fucking media dictate what's funny? What serious? What's offensive? What's not offensive? Well, so someone has to fill, and what's not offensive. Well, since someone has to fill in and Bobby's doing something else, no, I'm in my phone with the fucking, Howard Stern was playing in the background on my phone for some reason. Sorry.

But you know, that whole sterling thing, no one ever got to the point that what she did was illegal. Oh, yeah. It doesn't matter if he's a racist or not. By the way, that's illegal. Is it illegal to rape somebody's phone call? without their knowledge and then playing it. Yeah, absolutely If you have a nanny cam in your house, you can have that but you cannot record that man See that's a part of this whole issue, which is that the ends justify the means people don't give it

What do you mean? People you're right? You're right. People don't give a shit. How someone was exposed there They they look at it as this happy ending that I mean, but here's that shooting that we found the racist and so let's just but there was a crime Committed that shooting this weekend Some people thought it was a gun issue and some thought it was mental health and some thought it was you know Massage and he and it's like yeah, it's all those things things aren't life isn't that fucking simple right? It's not like I hate women And that's why he stabbed three guys first before shooting a woman, you know like there's way more Today he's a sick fuck and he used two means to kill a lot of people man

And he was able to legally buy guns but everybody everybody's gonna go around Oh, we got have to get rid of guns. We're gonna get rid of steak knives Everybody everybody's gonna go around. Oh, we have to get rid of guns. We're gonna get rid of steak knives Exactly, we're gonna he hit somebody with a car he killed the smoother than I Yeah, it doesn't matter how you kill my problem is a sick Fuck you I hate I hate when people fucking immediately just run for their agenda you'll do it Let me tell you something put the fucking blame where it is. There's a sick fucking 22 year old kid who killed some people He is to blame maybe it's his parents to blame for fucking raising a sick fucking kid I don't know but don't try why why are we going to gun control or

the fucking or the movies that he's watching to be honest he was trying to kill a rattlesnake when he hit the thing always bring it back we're I mean we're way I mean from a guy telling me I suck and I'm fat on Twitter to a guy killing people I don't what you should kill the guy but that guy look that that guy posted these he was on bodybuilding threads and he was telling those guys like

fuck you guys i'm better than you that that guy was the final conclusion of i see that the connection i understand the connection and it is it's scary that those people can touch you now that that that that guy you can't I got a guy from Canada can call up and say I was hurt by what you're committing and here's in the letter you called me bald and overweight it's like you were hurt it's like wait a minute you just called me two names and you didn't mean them as a description. You meant the overweight is, you're calling me fat.

Now, you're doing what you said I did to you. You're doing to me. I don't get it. And here's another thing, it's like, so you want me in the penalties box, or you want me suspended for a couple of years. But it is mine, you were doing it to be mean. And in his mind, he was doing it

to take someone down to deserve it. That's the first thing's the story. Exactly. And that's the sterling thing. Yeah. Look, I mean, just last week I had a black woman on my show who's actually a professional skateboarder. Right. And the first words out of my mouth were number one, your black people skate. Yeah, I said, number one, you're black. Number two, you're a woman. You have to be the only female black professional skateboarder in the world. Right. And she goes, yeah, there's not many of us. You might be right.

I literally got letters calling me a misogynist and a fucking racist. Why? Exactly. Why? I just said, you're in a profession that you never see black people in and you never see women in. You have to be the the only one and she acknowledged it and she agreed I disagree with that though you do see black skaters and you do see women skaters. Okay, man by stock. Yeah, you know Sit down. It's just not you know, it's just like a creep. Let's do a rich boss

Get the camera on rich. Have you seen rich is called by By the way side note smooth as butter. Unbelievable. What's that? Because cock. Why don't you say what you really want to say? You tasted it. Taste like butter. When did you say his cook? He showed me a picture. It was unreal. Rich Voss everybody from my wife hates me and I'm very good. How did you know you were I was up here? How did you know I was up here? I just, I don't know because you really have nothing else going on. So I figure you'd be here right now. I saw Gary in the street. Oh.

Okay, well, we're talking about, I got a nice, I got a couple, I got a tweet. What's wrong? I met a couple of the other day around the corner on Friday night. They said you were the funniest guy in the show. Well, here's the thing you get the things where you're the funniest guy in the show. I've never got that. And then you get, you know, these guys on Twitter who go, you know, you're a piece of shit, you're unfunny, you're fat, you stink, and then you get people who don't like you.

This guy called up, apparently I made fun of them at a show. And Vos, you make fun of people all the time. Yeah, I'm trying to explain. But it's the time. But it's not a personal thing. It's a funny thing. Not only do you make fun of that person in the front row or what they look like or the crowd as a whole, you also make fun of yourself. I make fun of me more than anybody in my show. Now why can a Lisa Lampinelli go up and say

the N word and fags and con- Well because she labels herself as the queen of me. So you know what you're getting walking in there. Yeah, but I'm sure, but I guarantee she's gotten these two. I'm guarantee that she's had to deal with this. Yeah, but she's turned that into her image, which I think is a little bit easier. Like, I mean, it's easy to go, all right, well, fuck it.

I'll just use that as kind of my thing you don't really do that you're trying to just fucking tell jokes you happen to offend some people in the crossfires I think it's interesting that rich came in because I I never talked him about this but he did a TV show called what would you do and it didn't get picked up of course no no this is to show that's on the air and they they filmed it sent up New York and the idea was that if you know the show it's a really great I love the fucking show in general I didn't like this episode but the ideas when people are being wronged in the street what would you do and they have hidden cameras

and sometimes it's so you know somebody being made fun of or somebody's being racist would you step in so what they had rich do was they had him just shit I think it was a fat chick in the crowd right to that chick and he was just calling them fat viciously maliciously mean venomous and the idea they had hidden cameras and they were saying who's gonna stand up? They weren't hidden. I'm sorry, whatever, whatever, I didn't watch the show. So, but it was so great.

No, I'm just saying, I watched clips of it, but I disagreed with it fundamentally. He did warm up on it. What you should do is you should sit there and fucking watch the show or get up and fucking leave. Nobody should get up and say something and stand up for anybody in the show because it's not up to the people to dictate, is he being funny, is he crossing a line? And when you give people in the audience that control, it's a dangerous area to be in. Well here's to deal, two things real quick.

And I didn't mean to interrupt your podcast. Three things. If I saw you in the audience winning that shirt, I would do a half an hour on that. I mean, that's all. But here's the thing though. What if you got offended because he served our country, and that's his favorite shirt from his wife?

You wouldn't always. He's poor to reek in half. But he served our country. He's sensitive. No, sir, crumpets. These people, here's the deal. These people that get offended at a show, like okay, there's one thing,

if you don't think I'm funny or you think I stink. Okay, you're gonna tweet me, fuck you. But does that really give you the right to go you fat bald to attack me? Now to say you don't like my comedy, I think I'm not funny. Okay, but when you attack me, now you're attacking. So I should be able to attack you back. I should be able to come at you and attack you back. Okay, but there's another thing too is that

If you had to do this in front of me to my face say what you just typed would you do it? No now now now Ask yourself that question now would you do it now now that you say no you wouldn't do it because you'd be afraid You're a piece of shit. You're a real shitty person. You're a coward. You're a phony. You're just a piece of shit. You know what I'm gonna scope on. I'm gonna give my two cents real quick on this. A couple things to make interesting. Here's the thing. One that show you, the show you talked about was ridiculous because one I would never attack two people like that hard without them deserving it. Right. I mean it. Okay. And two I said on that show, the only way I'll do this show is if you preface it, what that, the only thing got that word out. The only thing I fucking amazed, that was, you get excited, you almost jumped up.

You're gonna call Bonnie, I did it, I did it! Refreshing, fuck it up, and I said to the producers, and I said, I'll go up there, but you have to let the audience know that my feeling is, your only recourses to get up, walk out, and complain to the manager. Okay, if you don't like something, it's not like if you're at a movie, like people to

comedy show will send them a guy, this guy said, okay, you know, if you're at a movie and a movie stinks, no one gets up and goes, come on everybody let's get it, you know what I mean? Like you don't try to get everybody else to hate that movie because you hate it. What's also no one's going to see movie the movie in the way that people just go,

I'll go see comedy, no one's saying like coming soon, it's movie. But here's a scene. And then you just go in and not go in the psychology behind. You're going to comedy, not knowing what you're going to say. That's what I'm saying. You have to look at the psychology behind the two things that I had. One, the kid who sent me the fuck you tweet. He, not only did he hate me, he hated me. To say what he said, he really has to be angry at me

or hurt by me. And then to go and know a comic friend of mine, who's a friend, to compliment him, he psychologically went to compliment my friend and to turn somebody against me You know what I mean or to so it was he was that some crazy person shit. That's crazy. That's crazy Person shit that's like you need fucking help because crazy. He personally now the the second guy that it that was hurt by me Is he it's like?

Why the fuck would you sit in the front row? If you had a problem about the way you look, if you insecure about the way, why would you wear a white suit and sit in the front row? If you really since your kid had issues with the way you looked, why would you sit right there? Well, that's a comedy club, because they say to him, that I have a, you know what I mean? right there? Well, that's the comedy club because they see it and I'm like, that I have it, you know what I mean? That's the comedy,

that's like whoever it was at the cellar, that's their fault. They shouldn't have put him, and I got that tool in the front where it's that tight, they shouldn't have put him in the front. And these guys pictures an egg. I'm surprised you're so. It's not an egg. Well, what happened? No, no, no, no, no, the guy on Twitter, like, that's not an egg. He's got an egg. This conversation. He's a photo of him.

Yeah, but he's still an egg, you know what I mean? He's nothing. He's egg. He's got an egg. This conversation. Is a photo of him? Yeah, but he's still an egg. You know what I mean? He's nothing. He's nobody. He's a click of nothing. But this conversation should just be really with me and Bob because we're the only working comics here.

What? I am. Mike is a fucking, he works a lot. Oh, he does. I'm in here too. I'm working tonight at a restaurant. So what do you call one of the internet? And these, you know, it's almost the same.

The internet gives people a platform that shouldn't have a platform. Like you said, okay, you know, everybody shouldn't have a platform. I've had those, I read that, you read that letter to me. And yeah, sometimes, or sometimes you, you don't really wanna hurt so much. You're not going on stage in your head saying,

I want people to leave upset, I want people. You don't do it. So what does he want? want me to get suspended and not work and take so you want me to lose money That pays for food for my family You want me to because you went to somewhere you shouldn't have went now if if you No, no, no, if you don't say you shouldn't have went there. What if you have any as much as the next person? Okay, you do, but it's a place where comics make fun of people. We make fun. We joke, we talk to the crowd. But Twitter is the modern day, it's vigilanteism.

You know, it used to be like, you killed my pa. Now you're gonna get yours. This is what that is. This is that old fucking, people used to do in the streets and fucking shoot each other Now they tweet at each other Yeah, Bobby do do do do do do you remember back today you go into a fucking stall and then it would just be fuck the Jews fuck the end words It's that this is what it is, but now we can direct it at somebody specifically It's just the other problems in the Jews, but you have a problem in the end words the same place

Like this to Jews or Jew What are Jews in it? Jews is not a negative term. Use a Jew. It's not a negative term. It used to be, it used to be a view way. When I said it the way that I said it. Yeah, what the way you said it?

You see everything. When you thought in front of that, that was fun. But before if you went to a restaurant and you had a bad experience, it just wouldn't go, but now it's like this, I'm gonna make them pay, and they're gonna fucking suffer. And a lot of the times when you read reviews and stuff, you could see the exact moment when it goes from the place being shitty to the person being shitty.

You know, the way that they'll describe how- That's it right there. When you don't like me, but then you became a shit person too. So you're saying, I'm a fucking asshole, I suck, I'm a hurtful, so you became that same thing to me. So not only do you want to fucking call me names, you also want to take food out of my family's mouth, you want me to suffer, which is, I don't get it,

because if I was intentionally attacking you, if I saw you on the street and fall and said okay, but I wasn't trying to you were laughing you were having a good time on the outside you were my barometer but because it's and really because I don't want you to have a bad time but in this business also too you got to realize those good reviews the people that love you are just as whacked out as the bear reviews or review. You know what I mean? When comics, you know what, maybe you should get reviewed by maybe there's 10 comics you respect and you go, okay, they like me. That's good enough. You know what I'm saying? You got to know the fine line and what, like that guy, I read that letter,

I got a letter once, I've got letters and And one time I responded, because I did feel bad, because I didn't really want to attack that guy. You know, he was in a wheelchair, just saying, I've got to do some funny shit. But then I let her, King, hey, you know, his first time out of a house after this act, you know, whatever. So I said, look, I really didn't mean to hurt him, you know, and what happened. Huh? I never got a response, but I did all I could do was apologize. He's dead. really didn't mean to hurt him, you know. And what happened? Huh? What happened from that?

I never got a response, but I did all I could do was apologize. Which I don't usually do. Which I don't usually do because I feel like you feel it's a comedy club, you know, hey, it's like, like Bonnie and a million comments. When it comes to music, people do research, not comedy, you know what I mean? You know who you're going to see when you're going to see a band. With comedy now, YouTube, you can look up, I'll be telling you, this is the kind of comedy he does. Rich Valls, this is the kind of comedy. The thing is, we're getting away from just experiencing things.

So, the research. We're getting away from experiencing things and letting, there's no more moments, you know, like you go to a concert now and people are on their phones, like, or tweeting or texting or whatever. And it's on their phones, or tweeting, or texting, or whatever. And it's no longer about what entertains or make someone... Get a chair and sit right here. It's all about how someone can own that and make it their own. So it's not... People aren't...

There are people who just go to comedy and enjoy it, but then it's also they're going and being like, how can I make this about me? You know, yeah You you joy what you block people you just look at it look I understand it. I get it It's just it's up this guy. I mean look I felt bad Yeah, I know you're bad because I don't want I feel this guy. I think this was one of those circumstances I don't want this guy. I think this was one of those circumstances Where the guy I get you bump into one of those people that just is sensitive that is just you know It's not like a guy who goes around looking for trouble. Yeah, I think he found it. He just got his feelings hurt and

He just was like fuck. I want to say something. I get it. I might call the guy. Yeah, I might call the guy and talk to him. You're clearly bothered about this. I'm bothered because there's a fine line between, what are we gonna apologize? You can call everyone. I mean, every week, now with Twitter and Facebook and the internet, you can get in touch with the people that you saw live, comics, and complain about them.

So now, you can go to the club owner and say fuck this guy was this this and this and this and now just remember this Bobby you weren't you weren't the worst thing that happened to that guy that day you're the only thing he can talk back at that's important I agree with that because I personally I went from nothing from being a civilian to having a crowd of people. And at first, I was thrown by that. When people would get in touch, and I would call Dean, and go, Dean, what the fuck do I do?

And the way I look at it is, it's the sound of one hand clapping, it just makes no noise. So if you just remove your hand, he can't clap. You know, it is a A. It's up high games buddy look how cool he is how you taking off I'm very I you know what I'm very proud of Lewis Gomez he's come a long way comedy and in life yeah yeah. Yeah. Thanks, Rich.

I am. Let's wish me these becoming a nice person in his own way. Because he's 60. That's what happened, you make a man. Right? Because he knows he's going to die soon. That's what happens in the winter of your life. You just start winding down and you make a man.

Rachel Feinstein, everybody, is here. Very funny comedian. Bobby, if you give Lewis this kid the warm-up spot that would make me the happiest everyone is james kral's goes wild but we're last kid i would uh... i would love to uh... we got we got uh... Rachel's on camera right now

and she's got a rich and what's up with the's up Rachel what are you doing? What are you doing, right? She looks really good. He's all right. I'm just trying to be Thank you. What do you mean something is gonna come? We got Rachel. We got Dean Laurie He is the one of the co-writers of fitness confident fitness. Yes, that's confidential And one of the writers on arrested development and I mean a million other fucking shows the crazies that just went off But It's dead. Yeah, we got Vinnie Toto reach is the he is a

trainer for the stars and also wrote fitness confidentials Um, and then of course you know everybody else in the room did you read a story that and I don't know if it's true But it seemed like it yeah Rogan took out a mountain long. That's not true. It's not true. It was like a fake sports story. It was a story that came out that said he, a mountain lion attacked him in like Joey Diaz

and a bunch of comics outside of the, and none of us in the store. Pasadena. Yeah. I saw. There was also another story that Rogan's going to fight. Yeah, and you know what? They're both from Empire Sports, which is a satirical sports website A chap holds

Yeah, not the heartburn pills Harper and pills. Yeah. Um, thank you, Rachel. Um, have you ever gotten a letter from somebody saying that you suck in the dumb off class? Yes. There's this guy that writes me all the time and I, boss, I don't like you. I think you suck.

I hate your dresses. Yeah, boss writes me a lot and he tells me it doesn't like my sassy sun dresses, which is hard for me. I love your dresses. You know the worst thing. You know the worst thing. You know the worst thing. You know the worst thing. You know the worst thing. You know the worst thing. You know the worst thing. You know the worst thing.

You know the worst thing. You know the worst thing. You know the worst thing. You know the worst thing. You know the worst thing. You know the worst thing. You know the worst thing. You know the worst thing.

You know the worst thing. You know the worst thing. You know the worst thing. You know the worst thing. You know the worst thing. You know the worst thing. You know the worst thing. You know the worst thing. You know the worst thing. I know. And I want to eat pussy. And he's just so angry at me, like I'll write under my videos. And he's like, Rachel, no!

He's just trying to stop me. And he just gets like, selectively offended by the weirdest things. And he writes me a long emails. What do we have on the chat? Anything? Yeah, we had one question. What is it? Get the mic. Just spin it.

We have one question for Vinnie Yeah, I got to find it Why is Bobby so fat? I think it was a while ago. Oh, here you go our chai seeds. Okay under NS and G rules Chia see it sure Yeah, you can have chia seeds all day long You're not gonna eat that many of them, but it's it's got a lot of omega-3s it's it's a hot food right now you know people are liking it it's not bad it goes good and if you use the mixer it goes good with yeah you can throw it with throwing it with vegetables some people actually make pudding out of it I was better say you'll

mix it in with coconut water as well it's. You let it set and it gets all like jelly like. It's amazing. Also MS Megan Marie, she's a fan. Is there really a health difference between white potatoes, purple sweet potatoes and yams? Actually the only one in that group that's any good pay attention Bobby is yams. Yeah, and by the way the way you want to them, and I learned this a long way. If you take a yam and you cut it up and just put it in the oven and cook it, and it glazes over with the sugar that comes out of the yam, it actually has a higher glucose content. Then if you just boiled it for 20 minutes and then mashed it up and put some butter in it. So actually the way you prepare it could actually change the glycemic index and the glycemic index.

So you wanna boil it and put butter on it? You wanna boil it, mash it up, put butter. Well, you don't have to put butter, but it's just gonna be the enemy. I mean, if you get eaten without the butter, explain to exactly, butter is not the enemy. You can actually have butter. Yeah, but to a certain level, I mean, I'm not a thing.

Right, right, yeah. You go to IHOP, take, put a ice cream scoobal butter on your plate. Well, if you go to IHOP, butter is really not your problem. Yeah. Sometimes. You're calling themselves. I love that his analogy was they put a lot of butter on your pancakes. I don't eat first one.

I don't eat that. You know I eat. No, but explain to them about the fat. Yeah, fat is not going to get you. It's the carbohydrates, you know, the simple carbs that will turn to fat in your liver. The butter is not the problem. Can you explain what ketosis is? Because I've heard this phrase a lot

and I understand it's when your body goes into burning fat. But can you just explain a little more clearly? I mean, is that kind of what the idea is behind the book? Well, not really. You could be fat adapted without ever being in any kind of ketosis but some people like to be in ketosis and what ketosis actually ketosis has a bad connotation because of ketoacidosis and other one to bring a comedy show down by talking about the acid. The No, I've never seen it. But the bottom line is, Keto Asadosis is a bad thing.

Dietary Katosis is a good thing because your body is using fat as fuel versus carbohydrates. Lewis takes his hat off, he turns just a regular person. I don't like the hat. I only like him with the hat. He looks like just a guy like not in business. He'd be on the beach with like 40 other people. Yeah, but we were talking just that shirt is also a towel. So it was just. He's nipples of showing through it because it's undone so much. I got to I got somebody who wrote me a bad Yelp review from Eastville

like two years ago. Yeah. I what want to read it. You read it. Actually, somebody just want to read it because my son is trying to fucking love his dad. Okay, here we go. This is from Megan P. I get attention from his dad. Yelp, but I'm sorry. It starts with I hope he has a kid so he can produce something that makes other people happy.

Here we go. Megan P. I usually reframe from writing reviews for places until I've been there at least twice. And the case of Eastville, I won't be back. Says everyone. See vigilanteism. Nate Brigazzi and Amy Schumer were the only reason I had any fun at all that night. It's a big jump. You want to see our ones funny and ones not offensive down the middle.

I'll just get fun. I'm pretty sure the MC, Lewis Gomez, she down the middle. I'll just get it's fun. I'm pretty sure the MC Lewis Gomez, she forgot the J. Yeah, I got it. Employees at high school, J.V. football team to come up with the clunkers. I don't know your phone. Did that blankly? Hold on, hold on. I don't know how you use this. If it's not an iPhone, it's rubbish. Come on.

Sorry. Fucking phone, no. It's like cans and string. Okay, I'm pretty sure the MC Lewis go amazing. Oh my god. The high school. You're not recording dude? No we're recording. I always have a back.

I tell you we're live. We are live. We have three recordings going on with someone. So I have a video, I have all kinds of recordings. Don't worry about it. Please, we're about to shoot on the West. Let's go. High school JV football team to come up with the clunkers he tries to pass off his jokes. I don't trust any

reviewer who uses the word clunkers. Yeah. Well, if it was 1942 I would. She knows her Achilles heel Lawrence because she does follow up by going, am I comedian? No. I also don't go out and get paid. She's like, I did not go far one. I also don't go out and get paid. I also don't go out and get paid to tell jokes and warm up the crowd for actual comedians. I know stamp is difficult, but it does take talent and that guy has none. She wanted more zingos. She deserved a few more zingos. There's more. Luckily the majority of the audience agreed and gave Lewis the cricket he does there. A lot of crickets. A lot of crickets. Well she's a real rich. Which she then bool the Nate for dinner. Yeah she's a beautiful storyteller. It's romantic. Sure. Love me. Signed the industry. Yeah sure. I used to save my hate mail because I wanted to write a book from all hate. fun. It's great. I did

Here's here's a tweet from me. Okay, if this is from a at Johnny underscore part part of p Arto and Johnny underscore Parton ready? Robert Kelly just saw yeah At the seller it it was no no space in between it was it was sad you need to go on the Jenny crank diet what satir is you'll use you'll you were smoked Craig wrong you know but if it's Jenny crank like you have to do crank on and go on Jenny cranked me that he spelled Craig wrong dumb dumb what satir is you'll use that because you're not funny.

Okay, ready? Then he goes, then he goes right to Gary. Gary, great set. You never let me down. Yeah. Gary, he wrote, you'd, you'd, W-O-U-Aposter-Free-D. You'd, see we need that though, because then it's like just throws away the credibility.

Okay, now it goes, Gary, you did the best job because you didn't work the crowd. You know, women, and you weren't fat and bald. Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, Robert Kelly. You weren't, so you weren't, dude, how does that make you angry? It's fucking hilarious. I guess like a bitch, like a girl,

trying to make me jealous. This is the thing though, 50 of them, is this the thing though, this is the thing though. 50 of them. Is this the thing though? This is the thing though. This is the thing though, he is a fucking, I mean I was right there. You could have just came up and said this shit to me right to my face. But you go, you're really down the street and you get on your dumb phone and he's trying to attack me.

He's not saying something that's true or factual or an opinion. He's just trying to get in my face if you don't shut that fucking kid up. I swear to God. He shut, why don't you write a letter? Say did that. Oh, I say real dad. That's not this one guy that hates me on a certain board. Podcasts. I mean, he hates me.

And he even came to see me. He writes nothing but bad things, but he came to see me. You know, the set was great. He took pictures with me, bought CDs, and still twisted how I stink. Okay, then he posted, looking for us, his calendar. It's full. He's got to work everywhere. That must be a real grind that he's not making it.

Oh, I'm sorry that I work every week. Like, they're crazy Some of them are so like the girl in the school box when you're a kid They I hate you. I'm picking on you, but they really like you It's well, I think also with your fan base you guys come from the ONA fan base So I do I really think a lot half the time you guys get people shitting on you. They're literally going hey look We're one of the guys. I know Bonnie says that they're trying to be funny, but guess what? You're not one of the guys. I know Bonnie says that, they're trying to be funny, but guess what?

You're not one of the guys. You're not so if you, well, she says that to the attack her, and then it's not funny. No, but here's the thing, if you're, listen, I, I've said a million times on Twitter, if you say the same old shit my friends say, you get blocked, you're not my friend. Well, I get a rule for if you trash me, you're not following me,

you get blocked, you cannot trash me enough, Well, I get a rule for if you trash me, you're not following me You get blocked. You cannot trash me enough. Follow me. I need that follow Dude I get a weird one where people ask me why I'm not following them. That's the fucking creepiest Really I get that too. Oh, yeah, dude. Why don't you follow me? I don't even know who you are. Yeah, yeah, I'm hoping nerd out and I'm not gonna be number three I don't even know who you are. Yeah, I'm hoping to. I'm not gonna be number three. Yeah.

That is usually like, like I was saying, like bad grant, like the things that we justify shitty tweets with, it's bad grammar and it's always someone who is following way more people than it's following them. Those are easy write-offs because then you're like, oh, you're just a sad fuck. Like we kind of need that though too. The problem is, and I do it like I'll respond. And now, oh God, I never do that. I never do that. My worst is when I was talking to them, all my followers know that I just responded to someone that has four followers. You know what I mean? I never, ever, ever do that. It's the rabbit hole. It's the rabbit hole. I just want you

go down your stuck. Yeah, like this guy, I block him. It's the rabbit hole. It's the rabbit hole. I just want to go down your stuck. Yeah, like this guy, I block him. Here's the thing, I blocked him with this and then that. Yeah, it's just a fucking stupid thing. It's like, you know what, I just don't want to get to the point at a comedy show where we have to, you know, make a bunch of phone calls on Monday,

apologizing to a bunch of fucking sensitive people that shouldn't go to comedy clubs. I really would love if they just put a sign up. If you, this is a live adult comedy show, you may be offended by some things that are said. You may, you know, if you're giving up all your rights, you're giving up all your rights. What else can we fucking do? Are we gonna get lawsuits and get sued? And Canada did.

Yeah, I know. But these people can just, because you chose to come into where I work and fuck, I did what I do, which is make fun of people and make fun of me, or if you're wearing an orange shirt, I might say that stinks. But now I have to check myself. By the way, the joke's stuck against the guy with the arm shirt. Jesus.

I think that's better. And then, and then, and then, what are we going to do? We all got to go do monologues. By the way, we got to go through standards and practices at live comedy clubs. But that is on the comedy. You said before, dude, comedy clubs should post a fucking sign this. Hey, dude, if you are offended by anything, don't fucking enter. This is not the place for you. If you to see a comedy show you get people as it is If you want to go see a comedy show where you know you're not gonna be offended There's headliners that don't offend people and you can go and watch them for an hour at the fucking headlining club

Yeah, they also like are selectively offended and they want to be offended and they often don't listen to a joke Or what's it what it's about and decide to be offended like I had a girl? I had a fuck sorry good first while I wouldn't go at him off He's like a head to be offended. I had a girl, or the fuck, sorry, good. First of all, I wouldn't go out him off. He's like a head writer or something. No, I was thinking to say, people should be. It's huge in the business.

He literally has the ability to make any one of us famous. That's why I'm getting, that's why I, so when you, people should be, you guys are still cutting him wide. You know, when they come out of comedy clubs, they just fill out like a form listing all the things that they're sensitive about. You know, she's sensitive about her lazy eye

and her withered arm. about you know she's sensitive about our lazy i and her with her dog general yeah so you know it's she's cool on her ears i can make a that that's a putting

i think what it's just be used for awareness of uh... people being kidnapped in other countries and that's it i wish you got kidnapped you don't even get that you dummy And that's it. Oh god. I wish you got kidnapped. You don't even get that you dummy That was a very very intellectual joke right there Hashtag you're talking about the crisis in Nigeria. Yeah, I know It's bringing up a crisis in this room bringing our women back. I get it. I know they went in

They took all the girls whatever the girls Listen, what I'm saying. I got okay. You're talking about Um, what the fuck were you saying i was just saying that somebody like i did some so i was talking about dumb shit people put on facebook and then people's statuses and somebody wrote something like we need to put an end to genocide as if that they suddenly took a stance on facebook and yeah i said something like i was talking about on stage and i was like i thank you i was staunchly pro genocide until I read that, right?

And then somebody, I was in the middle of talking about it. And somebody got up, weeping, they were weeping. And they were like, I know somebody that was something in Jenna and then just ran out. Like, you didn't even understand anything I just said. I, that's it. I, that's it. I, that's it. I, that's it.

I, exactly. I'm, I'm doing my show at the fucking Village Underground. I'm talking about, you know, being in love with my wife and I'm talking about, you know, getting married and all the how hard it was to be, you know, go from a womanizing misogynistic dude to being this guy who loves his wife so much he wants the fucking hitter, you know what I mean?

With love, you know, and then- And then I go to this girl who's in the front row not laughing and I go, I go, do you have kids? She goes, I'm a lesbian. Like angry. I go, I go, this girl who's in the front row not laughing and anything I go I go do you have kids? She goes I'm a lesbian Like angry I go I go first of all I go you can if you watch modern family they have two ugly ones. They adopted okay? You can still have kids I go you weren't listening you were just waiting to let me the bald guy with his wife and the bald guy with his wife and they let me know I'm a fucking angry lesbian.

I go, why are you fucking smile? I go, you don't think you can have a husband. Well, you said I was gonna have a husband someday. I go, you cling to our, one of you is gonna be the husband. She goes, well, I'm the husband. I go, then there you go. This is just alpha male bullshit, dude. You know?

It's like, you're just, she was waiting to just... She wanted to yell that all day. She woke up wanting to take that stance with somebody somehow. And she probably does every day at least once. So you never know, a couple weeks ago at a club, I walk on stage and the guy to the left of me, right in the front row, was not facing me. I go, excuse me, sir.

Can you turn around? I'm right here what do you blind right and he was fucking blind right then I said well why you wasting the front row you know feel my face going to that and then I go I go this is great is there anybody here in a wheelchair the second row you know you don't know these things but you're turning it try to the guy who is blind, a guy in a wheelchair, they had a great time, it wasn't a attack on him. If you look at a guy in a wheelchair and you don't fuck with him,

then he's like, what, am I different than everybody else? Yeah, but then everybody's looking at the guy in the blind, I had a blind guy at my show once and he's looking, I didn't know what he had these round-leaning black glasses on. He's looking to the left. And I'm like, what are you doing? I mean, where are you looking, guys, he's blind.

I go, well then face him towards the stage. I go, you're an asshole. And then he kept his head kept looking away and I kept snapping my over here, over here. Do people with real afflictions, like, there's a girl I always go to Santa New York as a wheelchair? Yeah, she's great.

She's awesome. Blind people, deaf people, if they come to a convoy, they have real afflictions and real fucking pain. Usually they're funny. You kid face hands. I read us terms with it to a certain degree. These are the best audience members. They want you to make fun of it.

They know what the fuck's going on. The guys blind sitting there facing the other direction. If you make fun of him being blind, he's over it, dude. He's not a new blind guy. He wouldn't be in a comedy club. It's really the people who don't have any real afflictions It's right. It's always the people that get outraged that are like allergic to gluten No, it's not. They leave weeping for some reason. I want it to white people that get offended by anything ratio that have no

Minority friends yet. They are the spokes Models or whatever for me California, right? Yeah spokes models or whatever you mean California right now but you actually know when's the last time you saw a black or Puerto Rican person get offended over a race show at a comedy club never ever

do I see why people that never have those friends it's only fucking white people you see a white people always look at the Puerto Rican you see the audience spokes person you see a spokes model

I see a spokes person you see a spokes model please rewind the podcast okay I just want to say. But don't you. I've never saw a black person or a Hispanic person get offended by a race show. But they love it, dude. They fucking came up watching deaf jam because they usually guarding bouncing the door. Because black people aren't as so.

They're not inhibited by that kind of bullshit. And they know real too. When you get on stage, they know if you're a phony,ony they're a bit but the difference is Lewis of a black audience doesn't you got 30 seconds to make a black audience like You don't know You know, there's a chance you get them back if like the guy it's over your lack of confidence Yes, confident, but if you bomb it just stays in the room and it's done with that night It's not gonna be message Well, that's a funny part stays in the room and it's done with that night. It's not gonna be message for nobody's tweet. Yeah, no big deal.

Well that's a funny part, I was saying to you, but I just... No, you feel shitty on stage, but then that did. Yeah, no, give a fuck game of watching the next time. I was out, I was out. We went to the C-comedy, you weren't comedy, fuck you, but... Next time. But why people have to be head? Well, so we're now, I listened to them.

I was out of the company, but recently, and it's one of these clubs that are street team then, and I was going to fight with a black dude. It was a thuggy dude, the street team guy lied to him, and it's's like if you lie to thuggy black people from Brooklyn they're gonna fucking murder you they're not gonna write a letter they're not gonna go on the help they got ripped off I'd rather take an angry tweet from a fucking white dude then I don't want to get murdered right so I was saying stop bitching there are worse things but I was doing a room years ago it was puffy on deal, whatever. So on my stage, it's all black on all the side lost audience.

It was going a lot neat just hating me. And I sure this wasn't the last week. No, it's a whoa. So is the AC on. It is all the way. I get I get pointed towards here as well. There's a lot of people here. There's a football team in here. Yeah, Bobby

Bobby is that kid Lewis, are you cold right now? No, no, I can't warm actually It's fitting water out with that. All right, I'm dying. Can we speed it up boss? That's it. I'm sorry. I don't want to tell it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got to get out of here. Can I just plug two? Yeah, please go ahead. All right. I'm headlining levity live June 25th Chris Scopo is going to be open and only press hammer fissing is going to be on it as well June 25th

Yeah, you guys are in the Rockland County Westchester area come and check out my headlining show at levity live then one week later July 2nd Comics at Fox Woods Casino. I'm headlining Scopo will also be on that show and Dave Smith from hammer fishing will be on that show, right? So yeah, come out and check out those shows and also come to the dark comedy show in front of his kid Bobby come on man come to the dark comedy show How did that go? You went really well. We didn't know. It went really well. It was a reason why people write letters. I read it out. James, you will see you Sunday, buddy. Can I quickly cycle by the time? Hey, we're getting a pinata for him. Oh my daughter will love that. Yeah. What's that? Well, yeah, we're not going to be behind. We're invited. We didn't invited. We didn't get an invite. Make sure that's on if that's not on

I'm going to fucking murder you What's coming out of it? I'll give this is it cold air coming out also All right good all right Lewis to see you later Kelly take your seat. See you Lewis All right, so anyways, um, all right. We're gonna wrap this up. I gotta run to, hey, let me tell you, give Rachel some time. She hasn't said anything, you've either here, you know what I mean? I think I got involved, but I mean,

you can ask me anything, it's like, but I feel like I'm part of the team. I just think you should have some more. Some more, I'm not gonna. I feel like that's a trick somehow for you to say something evil. I'm I'm I'm dying right now. You're just you're just melting. I think I'm gonna be great if I had a heart attack as I too with butter. You know you started this actually wearing a jacket. I couldn't figure out

why you were sitting there in a jacket. Well I I what thank you. Um what is this? Yeah but it's not fine. I've never listened to I really never listened to our podcast but I listen to, I really never listen to our podcast, but I listen to 25 minutes of the live show we did last week with Norton. Yeah. It's so fucking funny. I'm gonna say about me, I'm Norton and Bonnie. We're on fire. I thought you were unbelievable.

I'm telling you, I was just, I couldn't, and I hate listening to my stupid laugh. I was talking about the live, you know what, dude, from the village underground. They did the first one a few months back, not the live, you know what, dude, the live, you know what dude, from the village underground, they did the first one a few months back, not the live, you know what dude, the live my wife hates me, with Rich Voss and Bonnie, and guest, marriage counselor Jim Norton, which came out this week, correct?

It came out today. Okay, so yeah, if you're listening live, go check it out if it's next week, this comes out, go to riotcast.com and listen to that. It was fucking hilarious, so. Very funny. And they're gonna be doing more of them in the future right? Yeah I don't know yeah I'm definitely gonna do more. Our manager goes why don't you do it monthly and I can't I don't know I gotta talk I gotta get a you know talk to

a new producer yeah and well I'm not doing it anymore but you'll find somebody or you can do it yourself it's all set up to go. We produce everything ourselves pretty much you know yeah you're good to go. We produce everything ourselves pretty much, you know. Yeah, you're good to go. But you were great. I'm telling you, those things were so smoothly. It was a pleasure. Yeah, good.

Well, it's a great show. So I'll show you how to download it. I'll see you later, Vos. See you later, Lewis. What's your bathroom? It's in there. So anyways, guys, Dean, Vinny, yeah, total reach.

Lawrence, you want to move over here? You can move over here, Rachel. Sit in the chair. Not you, Mike. You stay there. Lawrence, stay right where you are. That's your chair. Rachel, you go, you want to stay there? Yeah, I'm okay here. Okay, great. You take away fucking poor scopos microphone. Oh, wait. No. Yeah, he doesn't talk that much. Anyways, you know, this has been a pretty wild show. We were all over the fucking place. It was a fun show. Yeah, it was a very fun show. We talked a lot about losing weight. Now, you used to be always on diets too, right, right, Rach? Yeah, I'm always trying some nonsense. I do that boxing thing a lot with the other guy's Keith.

And you did it a little bit. We all went to bed. I heard my, I fucked my knees up. Yeah, I'm, it's a horrible work. I'm furious the entire time, but it's a great workout. Like, it's a great workout if you're a boxer. Is it when you're kicking thin air? Is that how you hurt your knees?

So what did you do? No, I hurt my knees because he has this hold the medicine ball and squat. Yeah, because you do a lot of that in real life. Yeah, yeah, I don't. No one does. No. I think what I need, you know,

I mean, that's why this, no sugar nose grain, no grains in the fitness confidential, it's a great book. I'm glad you guys are writing a second book. If you need any help, I'd like to, I'd like to actually, you know. Well, we'll get your story involved. We'd love to have you.

I would love to just, you know, because I learned a lot from eating, and now I'm spiraling out of control. Yeah. But I'm, here's what I got. You know what's great is you're, like I love how public you are about your struggle to, you know. And we'd love to have that in the book, right?

Yeah. To actually talk about reality. Because you can set a goal for yourself, okay? And I did. But then when I reached that goal, I, okay? And I did. But then when I reached that goal, I didn't know where to go. And that's where a lot of people become fat again. That's where a lot of people lose it.

And then when you don't know what to fuck to do, it's like, I always say like, you go to the gym. I don't know how to use the machines. So therefore, I'm just gonna go on the treadmill on gonna do some curls and I'm getting the fuck out. But if you teach me how to use every single fucking machine in the gym and why, and what days, I'm now I can go on the treadmill, I'm gonna do some curls, I'm getting the fuck out. But if you teach me how to use every single fucking machine in the gym and why, and what days, I'm now I can go to the gym

and use it to its potential. Now, with this diet, the more I learned, the more potential it had, the more I learned about food, though, I didn't know that they fucking shot corn syrup and corn fructose into everything. And that's what makes me want to eat more chips. I didn't know that it wasn't my fault that when I ate carbs and sugars that I wanted more

because it was chemicals being released in my brain that I didn't have a choice. I didn't know that. I thought I was just a piece of shit and I had no will. But I do. I've quit smoking, I've quit drinking, I've quit sex, I've quit a lot of things.

But food was the motherfucker, and it's the one that will take you out because food is the animal You have to take for a walk at least three times a day You know you don't need cigarettes to say the same now I have his problem Yeah, it's the same life. Yeah, you know, so that becomes part of the problem But if you can arrest what's causing the problem within food which means the sugars in the grains? Then you can move on your merry way and lose weight and be healthy and like you said I can go to Johns and have a slice of pizza or even too, but I just don't I don't have to I don't do it all the fucking time Yeah, well we talk about in the book like they usually the concept of a treat like having ice cream

You know would be a real treat. Right. But that's lost its meaning now, you know, it's just because a treat is just, it's now something that you have every day. It's not something that occasionally, you know, you have rarely enough so that it is an actual treat. Right. And so, you know,

Anything any extremes is always hard. Like, when I grew up, we weren't allowed to have any sweets. Yeah. And which was too severe. So then I became weirdly obsessed and I obsessed and I would make friends just based on what kind of things I could feed off of in their house and then I would eat so much there. She still does that by the way.

I still do. When you're totally denied something, that's all you want. Yeah, we became completely obsessed with it. It was just like we just learned that any kind of dessert was, I get in big trouble. And so then I just couldn't get my mits off like anything, anything fattening like that. Like any get my mitts off like anything anything fat and like that like any like

Ho-hoes or just disgraceful snack like that and then I did had no proportion control once I was near it. I hear that problem often. Yeah, when people talk about their parents being really strict Yeah, when I was a kid back when I was a kid which was way before you were a kid Yeah, I I know I had 70 ounces of coke per year And I know that because the only time I had a coke was when I got a haircut and you figure as a kid you got like eight or ten haircuts a year and coke used to come in seven ounce bottles back in the 70s. And now 70 ounces is one fucking serving.

She's a great. Think about it, 64 ounce thing. And it's refillable. But we were lookingable but we were looking at we're at seven eleven not too long ago and they had like a special thing it was a you know it was a big giant size serving of coke that had a string around it so you could hang it around your neck and then had a long straw to to reach your mouth so basically you didn't even have to bother

holding it that's a joke yeah we went to check it out because that's bad science that's when people like up sick of holding check it out because we heard about it. We heard about it. That's when people like, I'm sick of holding this shit and... Yeah, it's just, it's too much work now to actually hold this out of it. Or to even bend over to put the straw in your mouth. It's just a constant injection of sugar into your mouth. What is that saying about society? No wonder the terrorists want to sell dead.

You know, we're just trying to fuck up. We're asking for it. We're begging for it. It would be fun. Okay Yeah, it's a fucking sad it's sad man. It's sad that you know, I think Somewhere along the line our children and me and we were all given this this crazy food And we became addicted to it and now here I am 43 and I'm trying to addicted to it and now here I am 43 and I'm trying to undo this shit, which is really hard, it's really hard to do.

But the one thing is that you said that you can just go back. Don't fucking fall apart, don't just give up to it just next day. Yeah, just go back. We're here at the next day, you know, get back on it. And it's like we've also grown up sort of being sold all this stuff that they tell you is healthy,'s fundamentally not healthy you know yogurt there you know all these flavored yogurts and everything you think hey that's good you know I should

be eating that stuff because yogurt is healthy you know it's not not the flavored stuff it's just as bad as ice cream yeah it's a sugar bomb yeah I worked at McDonald's for seven years and I saw the same kids with their parents every day, like a lot of days, you know, in a row. Every day. You know, I mean, the poverty is a huge issue. Like, it is why it is fucked up, and I get it, but like, why is whole foods?

Like, why the better the food is, why is it more expensive? Well, that's a problem too, because, you know, we talked about before, you know, the grains are sort of subsid of subsidized so they're cheaper so the stuff that has a lot of that and it you know it tends to be tends to be cheaper. Look at it this way. When I was in college we were talking 1981 Taco Bell had a 99 cents special. Yeah okay. Now Taco Bell sells the same Taco for 59 cents. Everything else in the world has gone up. Taco Bell has figured out over the 30 years since I've been in college,

how to go down in price, which means- I'm now doing breakfast. Something exactly. So something has changed. How can you make something cost less now than in 1981 when it was ridiculously cheap then? It's because grains are subsidized to such a level

that it's negative economy. You can actually get poor people to buy this stuff because you can feed a whole, you can fill the bellies up of all of your kids for five bucks at Taco Bell. Yet if you went to the grocery store, that might be an apple. But another thing too fat, you want to talk about fat science. If I go in there, I see something for $59, I'm going to buy four of them. Right. I'm not going to buy two of them or one of them. I I'm gonna get four dude. I have two bucks. I get four

Yeah, and I'm gonna fuck it there. They're perfect size because you eat one and you need another one Right, it's not big enough to fill you You know what I mean? So you need you need at least one and it's so cheap They know it's still a bargain, you know, but, why is organic chicken so much more expensive than? Because they're literally, they're letting them run around and, you know, it's not chicken on top of chicken and chicken eating their own shit and everything. Who can afford that every day?

Not any, no one. Yeah, no one. You know, we talk about, I talk about it on my podcast, the angriest trainer podcast all the time. I tell people, do what you can because I know what kind of money I make and I can't afford to live like that. I can't eat organic all the time. Yeah, and again, mentioning podcasts again for people to check out.

The angriest trainer podcast in iTunes. On iTunes, yeah, you're going to check it out and go to no sugars, no greens on Facebook. And read, you know, read what these people are writing about. You know, I have to, I've learned in the last, what is it, nine months? Yeah, something. Yeah. That my body responds to good food and good fat. It does not respond to breads, grains and sugars. The sugars is not as tough as the pastas and the breads for me, because if the pastas and

the breads fill me, and that's a physical, psychological thing that makes me feel better when I'm full. It's, it makes me feel, you know, feels the whole. Yeah. Literally, feels the fucking whole. But the more that I'm learning through this is I knew that when I got on it, it's not it's it's forever. It's not a certain thing until I lose a certain amount. It's forever. So I'm still learning. And now I'm in the process

of learning failure that I succeeded. I was on the path and I fell off and I keep falling off. But I gotta now I gotta ask for help. You know what I mean? I gotta reach out. Well, you know what's also really helpful. I mean, we do have this Facebook group, it's Vinnie Tortoruch, there's no sugar, no grains. It's got thousands of people.

You've probably been... I will not, but now I hide from it. Yeah, well, it's just... Don't hide. People are very, very supportive to each other. And it's helpful to know that you're not alone trying to do that. It costs nothing.

It's just you go on it. Everybody's supportive. Everybody's friendly. You know, and a lot of 10 people will go on. I just say, look, I'm struggling today. I'm having a rough day, you know, and then they'll get 50 replies. What people are saying, hang in there. Try this. Try this. You know, yeah. You do need help also when you're on the road a lot because it's really hard when you're traveling. There's a lot of places you cannot find anything healthy. I'll be in the middle of some just like disgusting town and I go and I try to order salad someplace and it's just like iceberg lettuce and nonsense.

Or if a club feeds you for free, it's the fun work. Exactly, and then it's always that awful beige food. It's always just like, yeah, mozzarella sticks and chicken fingers when you get to the club. It's hard. We were talking about this yesterday about how, because we were talking about you, and how it's particularly difficult for your guys' lifestyle to do something like this, because it is very, very hard to be on the road all the time, particularly going to comedy clubs and stuff like that,

where your options aren't great, and it's a higher level of... If the hotel is near a grocery store, it's a fucking blessing. Oh yeah, but you also need a fridge, tell, you gotta make, you're good enough comic that you have a fridge in your room. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'll get there someday. But I mean, seriously, it's all this stuff and I learned that it's worth the money to go take a cab and get a good lunch, that a steak place or a nice restaurant and get fuck ordering the food to me. That's the problem. Fuck getting it to me. Fuck going to the club.

Let me go out, take a cab, or get a ride to a restaurant and have a meal before the show, or even after the show. Let me take me to a diner, and I'm gonna get breakfast. I'm gonna get sausage, I'm gonna get eggs,

I'm gonna get some bacon, I'm gonna get some fruit and I'm gonna fuckin' fill up on that shit, you know? Cause in it costs a little more money sometimes but it's worth it. Diner food is probably the same as con, it's all that Cisco stuff, that's all that. Yeah but you can't, an egg is an egg, bacon is bacon, you know what I mean? And that fills you up. But sometimes with the eggs, they will, if you get an omelette, they will mix flour in. You have to be careful. Yeah, I don't do omelets anymore. And if I do, I do egg white omelets.

As a matter of fact, that international house of pancakes, you're talking about earlier, that's how to get away with it. They mix, they literally put grains in your omelet. Unbelievable. I like that rich and heads-to-eye hop to search for healthy omelets. That was the thing when I worked at McDonald's. Unbelievable. I like that rich and heads to I hop to search for healthy opium That was the thing when I worked at McDonald's. It's usually working there When I worked at McDonald's all I ate was McDonald's because all I could afford was McDonald's Yeah, you know, I just stole food every day. They would make us pay for it

And that's I would eat and I was sad because I was there so I would eat even more and like I'm still fucked up from that You know and that was like eight years ago but seven years in a row. But here's here it is it's a sacrifice it's gonna be it's painful man. I don't think it I don't it just hurts that hurts not to have the only friend that's always been there. It does start. It never lets you down. But it does start early too like all that stuff like starts in your childhood. What? You relate to food. Oh, yeah.

I remember being at that girl's place with the ho-hoes and she had them in that like display box they have in the store and I just couldn't stop thinking about them when I was over there and I just ate so much that she like took me aside and they kits you and she was like, no offense, which was like the cool thing to say in sixth grade or whatever. She goes, no offense, but my mom says, you eat too much when you're over here. And then I just started weeping in the kitchen. I was like, you know, make me feel better like one more. So fucking what a fucking

content. No, I still remember where I was standing when she told me the family had been talking with someone says no offense. It's kind of like that. We were talking about your tweets and your bad. I always start with I really hate to say to love you. But now what a fucking kind one of a mother start with, I really hate to say. I really used to love you, but now. What a fucking kind, one of my mother,

yeah, to a child. Yeah, yeah. And we give, we were talking about the Twitter thing, like we give power to those fucking assholes, like someone literally wrote, I hate to rank all the comics. This is a showcase show, and they put the seven comics that we're on in order.

And the first thing I'm like is like, hate to say, no, you love doing this this and then the second thing is like oh god at least I'm in the top three. She's like this fucking bitch okay I'm not the worst. Yeah they're real assholes but you know that mom was like an early day Twitter person before Twitter she didn't come up to you herself. She put it out to the daughter. She won't remove it the same way

Twitter and Facebook as you know, it's all one removed. I think the bad eating would what helps when you realize how interchangeable it is that like whatever was going to happen you were going to do it anyway. It's like because if you tied to emotions because it'll be the thing of like, oh, I had a great set. I'm going to get myself some ice cream. I fucking bombed. I need some ice cream. Like you were gonna eat the, I didn't matter what you were gonna eat. Either way, you were gonna eat the ice cream. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. She's still not on it. Oh, I turned you off. It's the same, it's the same with smoking because I smoke on I sell them celebrating and then I smoke when I'm sad. I smoke when I'm bored. Every emotion is a mask by smoking.

It's not the fucking smoking, it's me. Yeah. Same with food. Well, we're gonna call Kelly the podcast, Ender. Yeah. You got it. Well guys, listen, I want to thank you guys for showing up today.

Dean, I'm very excited. We didn't get to talk about your other stuff, too. Yeah, this was fun. Yeah, well, Dean is one of the fucking big dudes in fucking Hollywood. One of the great writers, comedy writers out there right now. So I can't wait, I can't wait, hopefully do something again. Dean was the showrunner and the creator of Bronx Warrants. Of Bronx Warrants, the pilot we shot that I still think was hilarious.

You were fucking great. That's one of the funniest pieces I've never seen it but I read it so many times when he was fine well we're gonna we're gonna do something else I'm determined to do a I can't wait I would love that was so fun to work on all right fucking great time now there's tons of good stuff coming up but what do you got what do you got Dean well I'm doing I'm writing a new I'm new new pilot for FX right now called called Easy Money. So I'll be coming out with that soon.

We're working on fitness confidential sequel to that. I have a new book that's gonna be coming out. It'll be available sort of end of June. It's not available yet, but in a couple of weeks it'll be available called Romance for Men. I didn't read it. That's okay.

I'm gonna though, dude. I'm gonna read it. I know, that's what everybody keeps saying. You laugh out loud. I heard it's fucking hilarious. You won't, it's gonna make you feel inept. What's the name of again? It's called romance for men Pandora's Box. It's the first in a series. And when is it coming out? About a couple of weeks it'll start becoming available on Amazon and iTunes. All right. What's your Twitter? Dean Laurie. Dean Laurie. DEAN LOR. DEAN LOR. DEAN LOR.

DEAN LOR. DEAN LOR. DEAN LOR. DEAN LOR. DEAN LOR. DEAN LOR. DEAN LOR. DEAN LOR.

DEAN LOR. DEAN LOR. DEAN LOR. DEAN LOR. DEAN LOR. DEAN LOR. DEAN LOR. DEAN LOR.

DEAN LOR. DEAN LOR. DEAN LOR. DEAN LOR. DEAN LOR. DEAN LOR. Vinnie feel good. We did the audiobook for fitness confidential, which Vinnie, he reads it, he's the narrator, and it was a nightmare for him because he's great, like just speaking extemporaneously, but he had to sit here, you know, and do the audiobook and read the thing. And so it was hell. And so he, you know, gutted his way through it, and then we listened to it and said, this isn't very good. And so we threw it out, and then he re-did the whole thing and played with it and told stories and stuff like that. It was just this nightmare-ish experience for him. And the reason we're out here is because it's nominated for audiobook of the year.

And so we're going to the awards ceremony on Thursday. That's great. Congratulations, man. That's awesome. And Vinnie, what do you get? I got everything. I got the book, Fitness Confidential. We have the Angriest Trainer podcast. You can find me on Twitter, VinnieTotteration.com, vinyt.com, with an IET, TORT, or ICH, there's the website, if you want to lose weight,

it's all free content. It's all free. You go to vinytotterace.com, it's an FAQ section, you don't even have to buy my stupid book, just go there, it's free. I'm trying to help people for free Right, so it's all out there. Yeah, it's great. Thank you both you Thanks for having us on yeah, I really you fucking you brought me back from

Because once you go 300 pounds. It's it's harder to get back. Yeah, I was right there. You're looking great I'm looking at I said I got some more to lose Yeah, but it must feel good. I mean, I'm you must look at yourself and go like this and people are coming I see people you know, I feel better. Yeah, I do. I actually feel better, but I definitely I Want to get back to sexy Bobby my Rachel, but we all want that Bobby's a bad boy He always will be bad boy Robert Kelly Because what a website is what do you get Rachel? Um? I have a Comedy Central special airing on July 11th. You could follow me on Twitter at at Rachel Finestein

and I'll be at the funny bone in Charlotte. June 12th through 14th. The Comedy Central's really kicking ass lately, huh? They got the Amy show, they got the tells, they get your special. I brought city, have you watched that? I heard it's really funny. It's really great.

Fuck, and these two girls, first of all, one of them is really hot. The curly hair girl. She's up my alley. I have a little crush on her. My God, but they're very funny man. What do you got Mike? In my website, Mike Lawrence Comedy.com, my album, Sad and Manteam, From Comedy Central Records is on there. And I'm on Twitter all the time. I do, I'm on at midnight every once in a while on Comedy Central and I do the hashtag wars every night so if you like that show I participate and you can tell me that I stole jokes

that you think you wrote that were already on the air so it's always fun. Mike thanks for coming a minute you're always funny what's up with you Scopo? I just people Lewis the 25th and then the second we had a commas in Fockelwoods and then 25th that levity live actually so check it out be a lot of fun. Kelly what do you got? I just got on my website califistiga.com and follow me on twitter kielawh if a stc. Yeah website's down. My fucking web guys working on it. But this is all you need to know. June 17, the village underground.

Two shows. I'm filming my hour special, produced by Jim Cerepico, and directed by Bobcat Goldthwaite. It's going to be fucking awesome. Tickets are available right now at ComedyCellar.com over in the featured events. You can buy your tickets for the show, spread the word, retweet, share, get it all out there. We're going to sell it out. It's a very limited seating.

It's a very small venue, very intimate. So make sure you get your tickets now if you're going to go. ComedySolo.com featured events to the right and from my special, one hour special, June 17th. So spread the word about that. My website's down now, but when it goes back up, I will make sure to let you know, but you can get my app if you have an iPhone I have an award winning iPhone at where's my award by the way? Where's my award? It's in the box. I know that's gonna get my award out. You want to look at your award? You know put a who put my award in the box?

I did and it was staying in the box. It was too nice to have out. You put it in the box. Absolutely not who did? I believe you kept it in the box because it would look nice because I didn't want to ruin it. That's not true. Well I'll look for it when everyone goes. I hate it. There's too many legs here right now. Alright there's my app right here. Anyways I don't feel good. Something happened. You got hot and then it ruined you. I know. Something fucking happened. I'm gonna go throw up and shit. Okay. That's fun. And then then anyways, it was been a great fucking show. Everybody was great. Rich, I mean what a fucking rich boss came in Gary Galman, lose J Gomez, the rattlesnake slash real ass dude slash fucking can't take it. I want to fucking asshole. Thank you so much for coming on you guys are the best fans in the world. We'll see you next time. You know what? Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desperan.

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