Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Broccoli Center

Episode Date: January 12, 2015

Robert is joined by Luis J Gomez, Wil Sylvince, Mike Vecchione, Grant Gordon, Chris Scopo and Deepu Gill. RiotCast.com   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable, 33 grados. You're listening to Robert Kelly's You know what dude? On the Riotcast Network. Riotcast.com Hey, what's going on? When you're ready to buy a car, true car is changing car buying forever. Yes, true car helps car buyers get rid of the fear that they might overpay. Every day true car users receive negotiation-free guaranteed savings. And true car users save an average of 3,221 bucks off the MSRP. When you're ready to buy a car, just follow these three easy steps.

First, download the TrueCard mobile app or go to TrueCard.com to find out what others paid for the car you want. Then register to see upfront pricing information and lock in your savings. Third step is simple. Take your guaranteed saving certificate to the true car certified dealer for a better hassle-free car buying experience. Some features are not available in all states. With true car, you can save time, save money, and never overpay. To see how much you can save on the car you want, simply download the TrueCar mobile app or visit trueCard.com today. To the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. I was trying to keep it like a comic-can.

I have a bunch of guys on it. It's just us sitting down. And sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's a tent. It's rubber-killing. You know what? No topics, no directions. But I love doing it.

What a cast out come on. That's all I'd do. I'm gonna die! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on!

Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! I You come off me That's great man you were fucking you as fat as me last year well you were me because I remember I was we weighed Each other and I weighed less than you and that's what motivated this Christmas day Wait, you weighed more than Bobby. Yep. Yeah, yeah I we actually stepped on the scale I weighed because that's what I was doing the no sugar no grain. I weighed two I got down to 248 and you were you were like I got up to 271 a Christmas day at your house. Yep.

Wow. I was eating broccoli and bacon salad. Yeah. He he went I went you were more than me. He goes no I don't fuck you. We scaled it and this this fat tub weighed more than me. And I motivated. And now I fucking look like Mr. Olympia. Yeah, it was imprisoned for 12 years. I was raped by men. Let's see, it's not getting nothing but tasty cakes. Yeah, let's see a stomach. Let's see, that amount, it can't be.

Not the stomach, yeah. He never read it for the stomach. He's never gonna be lazy stomachs. Unless he becomes a millionaire and gets surgery on that fucking biggest loser stomach You have that fucking Dude, I've been watching this guy Jeff side. Oh, dude. I'm such a fucking homo like my dick literally gets hard while I watch him work out So I'm I think I might be turning gay. I'm not lying like I feel tingling in my dick and balls

I just don't know you a part of CrossFit, I think. There's a deal about this. I do CrossFit. It's called Super Sets. My dick and balls are moving. Dude, you've blown so much shit on the show. You're gay. Just come up and come up and come up and come up and come up and come up and come up and come up.

I've blown one thing, rubber dildos. That's a lot. Two things, two times. Two different rubber dildos, but that's one thing. That's one thing. You said countless gay stuff. And you've done gay things. That's not true.

You adjusted silver? No, that's not gay. You said countless gay stuff. And you've done gay things. That's not true. Did you just did silver? No, that's not gay. Funny. Being funny is not being gay. No, but no one laughs.

So no, you know, we laughed a lot. Why is being gay? Why can't that be funny? Why can't being gay be funny? Maybe you're just being gay fun. Not the way Lewis does it. Let's go around the room. Skullboard, you do a speed.

Hey, what's going on? We got me, no one cares. You're last. Yeah. Then we got Mike Vecchion, thanks for coming in today. Mike, thanks for having me. I know that is not a weird camera angle. His head is actually a block.

My head looks like a square. Show his head, fucking deep-o. Could you move your mic down and then point it up? Yeah, listen to deep-o. But you got first, you meet Ed. What was that video in the 80s? What was like all the blockheads? That's cool.

Hold on, hang on, let's see. I feel like I'm really far away from the table now. Colin, you're on live with the YKWD. We just went live two seconds ago. Colin Kane? No, Colin Quinn, not Colin Kane. Oh, I got excited. Another in-ship dude, love it!

That's Lewis J Gomez Ah! J got a hard defensa Ah, that's the last one, you're a good guy Go on to the Vava That wasn't even the word Yeah, he doesn't speak Spanish He's not a Puerto Rican

He's not a Puerto Rican, he's a Spanish-born Spanish-born up. Why? Because he just don't speak Spanish. My hour of specials coming out Friday night, are you going to watch it? Yes! Do you want to say out? Jesus Christ! Was that acting from crocodile

to writing just can you send the bomb down through the phone so what are you doing man can I tell you what happened last night? Quinn? This is a no wing. I'm taking the garbage out around 12 o'clock at night. Actually the Christmas tree. And you know I have those long bushes, big tall bushes down my driveway. And I got, you know, I'm a little nervous, but I got lights that turn on as you go down.

And I go down, put the tree down and the moth. and the What are you saying this for fucking garrison killer? Nobody knows who that is Do you know who it is? Yeah, it's like that storyteller fucking guy, right? Don't try to bond with us and him. Yeah, you're a fucking dweeb. And you know both I'm half an half out of kind of know what you name again. I forget grant grant what grant Gordon He said grant like I know oh grant Yeah, Dave. Dave should help Grant Gordon no movie was

Grant Gordon say how to grant What's up, Gordon? What are you hey, Colin? How you doing? You think so, but I'm Italian Jew from Long Island, so I don't know how I got that. Yeah, but very heavy on the Jew in the face area. Yeah, on the Jew in the face. Jesus Christ. I'm going to name the pair.

I'll take exactly what it was. They'll sell fading Jews to me. We're going to name off some grante. He's going to be like a waft, grante or waft. Yeah, but they couldn't fix the face unfortunately. There's no fool in it. Yeah. Yeah, he really does look all, he looks like all the sweat hugs he looks like he's a

hundred yeah it was good I think that is just uh... yeah just a crew of warshecks hangin out hey cut it hi buddy the only the only quaint is psychosis you fucking kill it man. So I'm coming back into my early bomb. I'm coming down the driveway.

I'm going back up the driveway. And it's dark out. You know, you really can't see where he's at. And he's like a breath guy. Go on. So I, a fucking bird. And it had to be a bird of prey. Because it was, its wingspan was fucking huge.

Sure it wasn't Rob's France. It was coming, you're just gonna keep throwing stuff out of it. That bandana's on there for a reason. It was fucking longer we could hang you with it. I grant fucking save me. Grants and newness save you. A fucking bird comes out of the bushes at my head. I go to run, my feet twist. I just push off and slide on my knees

and the palms of my hands. Oh, yeah. Your head look like an egg to him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did you hear what Will said? He said your head looked like an egg to him. I love that he made him a him bird. I go back, I heard so, I slid on my palms in my hand.

It hurt so bad. I had a newspaper on my hand. It went flying everywhere. This paper everywhere. It's windy out. It's cold. I go back in. I'm limping. I'm bloody. My wife starts cracking up, like just laughing hysterically. She's like, what the fuck? I go a bird attack me and she hit the floor, just cracking up. I'm like, are you fucking nuts? I go, I just got hurt, I got attacked by something outside. She laughed for 20 minutes straight.

We almost got into a fight because I was like, I'm fucking hurt. Like, I need help. That's fine. I'm cropping up, tundee acting again. Come on, so, that's what I'm saying. Wow the acting again. I'm gonna show. That's what happens. That's what happens. Wow, anyways. I did.

Alright, well, Friday night, what are you doing Friday night? I'm in Buffalo. No, no, you fucking asshole. What are you doing Friday night? Friday night? You're in Buffalo. No. That's a great club, by the way. Really nice hotel. What are you

gonna do after you set? Yeah, what do you want me to do? Tell them to put your special on. I love your special. I saw your special already. It was great. Thank you buddy. Comedy Central. 12 o'clock Nice Nice And then into the fucking Czech spot in the second show And then you go to robbercaleilive.com and pre-order it for five bucks Or you go to North Korea or they take and hack movies That's great Did you hang on Will, say that again? Nothing

It was the first time Will actually said everything clearly but it made less sense I wish you mumbled through that one It was the first time Will actually said everything clearly, but it made less sense I wish you I wish you mumbled through that one All right, I'll talk to you later brother Helium comedy club and Buffalo world at live now, so if you guys are listening Go and see Colin Quinn at that amazing club. I'll talk to you later buddy Bye. No, they great Colin Quinn. Yeah calling in someday will fucking we have five we have five camera shoot and I can't I get a hold my phone up like an asshole to a microphone. You know you literally yep, I know.

Yeah, plug it into a channel. Yeah, I know you can. I don't have the cord ready. I need to get right there. It's right there. You can plug it. You can use it every it's in that bucket right there. Yeah, well, I didn't know that you know that.

That's my cord and you put it in the bucket. Actually, it's my cord and I put it in the bucket. Well, I say it every it's in that bucket right there. Yeah, well, I didn't know that you know that that's my cord and you put it in the bucket Actually, it's my cord and I put it in the bucket. Well, I say it's my cord I really I really did get attacked when you see your wrist I see your hands my hand look at that That looks well. Yeah, I haven't scraped my palms since I was fucking like 10. It does It's a walk in the orchard you did a fly You haven't you haven't my ass since you was 10 Yeah, it's a fetch okay. That's just hurtful. Yeah, I am I got it We passed the ball nano you just keep me in our final pass it. I liked it No, there's brother sick let him let him have a couple

First of all, I want to say I'm sorry, but your brother dude. Yeah, that's sad. I my prayers First of all, I want to say I'm sorry, but your brother did. That's sad. My prayers belong to him. I really, whatever God you pray to, and hate you, I'll pray to you. No, but seriously, that sucks. I'm, it sucks. I can't believe you're here, dude.

But does anything I can do, let me know, all right? I keep my, I keep my, I keep my, yeah man. Can we make him a voodoo doll? What? It's your an asshole. I make it feel better. We would do good things to it. We give it a massage on its shoulders.

The Puerto Rican grieving process is different. That's very hard. Yes, one second. We're so used to our family members being murdered. Can we not, can we go to my camera again? Can you not, I know I'm fat, but do you have to fucking do that and make me that? I mean, can we go on an angle a little bit? Well, if you go into the downward angle, Bob, like exactly, like come from up and

look at what I'm trying to do. He fucking has it like underneath my chin, you skinny fucking Indian. Um, shit, just Indian, just got racial. Um, I'm not just describing for the people at home who want who listen to this instead of viewing it. What are you doing, Alan? What are you doing with the hat? It was cold this morning. I didn't want to put it in my hair. I don't like the way you're wearing it. It bugs me. Because you have just a little piece of your hairline coming up. I got a little weight-o's piece there. I'm just fucking awesome.

I think it looks fucking ridiculous. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, but take the hat off, you look like a fucking child. Let me do it. Let him do it. All right, let's pick right now. If you had to pick one guy, not to fuck to be with. Remember, I'm white to kiss to kiss. I have health insurance to kiss. You're helping try to do anything just to kiss just to kiss. Fuck living together. You know, I fuck being with just to kiss.

Who would you be? We are looking at May 4 because you have to pick. No, they're both my friends, dude. Who would you be in that situation? Who would you pick? Come on blockhead? Oh, I'm not gonna do it. I'm making them not my friend. Come on, you stupid short blockhead. Listen, Lego head See now you turn your guns on me because I won't pick between my two friends This is fucking whack just fight out me and micro-freaks. You're really happy. His head should be in a school bus.

One of those little things you can just plop in. The little people. The little smack, because my hair cuts aerodynamic. It's not aerodynamic. That thing was a stone head. It's the opposite of that. It looks like I can. It's a stone head.

It looks like an emergency ball float on your head. Stone head? Stone head? Stone head? Do you mean stone hinge? Hinge. Is it stone hinge? Stone head. Stone head? Stone head? Do you mean stone hinge? Hinge. Is it stone hinge? Stone hinge, stone hinge.

Stone head, stone, whatever. Well, your head is one of the most uncomfortable heads in the comedy business. I don't know. It's so uncomfortable we stop making fun of it. It's like a deformity, like a wooden leg. No. It really is.

It's like a fucking lobster hand on a wire. Is it that or is it just very direct? It's a direct haircut and it makes you uncomfortable. It looks like Will will get frustrated trying to put your head in a round hole. Thank you, she. It's a... I don't know.

I don't know, it's a square pet round hole. I thought that was good, but... There's a Lego village joke somewhere. You can't wear hats correctly no I don't wear hats you can wear just I like my hair boxes he loves getting Amazon packages what's happening so now you're gonna pick

If you had a pick one look at here's a deal you just who's more handsome All right, so you don't you know what kiss is that what you saying you know kiss? Yeah, I don't that's Mario is way out of my We'll go to the wood. want the door to the wood? Oh, definitely not Lewis. Well, no, because that's an easy way not to do it. That's an easy way not to do it. I thought it was a respectful guy. That's not a fair way. I know too much about Lewis.

It's about a step. I'm gonna pick first. I'll pick first. If I had to kiss, I'd definitely pick Lewis. But, well, just to kiss, if he was open mouth, I'd pick you, because I don't want to deal with whatever is dead things in the back of the screen. Whatever dead tooth, he's not fixing it.

He can't afford it. No, he can, he just fucking lazy. He's sure about that. Yeah, I'll rip that fucking thing out and clean it up. By the way, I would love to get him. I'm like, damn it. Dad come in and tear it out on the podcast. Let's do that.

What else he'd been anyways? Miguel's wife left him. He's my girl, because of everything. He's Miguel. The kid, can we get him and his dad on and I'll let his dad tear my tooth out of the show? Yes, who's Miguel? That'd be great.

Exactly. Miguel was on the show once. He's a stand-up comic. Didn't he get in trouble with his wife? Yeah, his wife kind of sucked. Yeah, his wife was kind of lame. Why are you talking to Coles? Why have she on the podcast?

Why are you guys talking to Colis? Why happen to his wife? I don't like that I can't see my guest because of your computer. She left him. They just were fighting too much. They didn't. He was a baby, though.

He wants to be a comic. She didn't approve of the lifestyle. He's now dating a nice stripper from Seahawks. How long was he dating? He was a trashy, not a good time. He's not a good time to dominate. He's a dominant, dominant, dominant, isn't stripper enough?

Well, she dominates him. I know that. All right, dominant, dominant, dominant. He's a shipper enough. Well, she's dominant, Tim, I know that. All right, so what should you do? She's hard to deal. Now that you, people that listen to your voice, your name is Grant. Yeah, Grant, Grant what? Gordon. Gordon, you're a comic from We're Brother.

Long Island originally. No shit. I've been doing it here the whole time. Oh, that's great, man. Welcome to the show. Thanks, man. Nice to be here. First time on the show.

And it's great. Thank you for having me, man. Thanks for coming out. We got Will, so Vance is. Will's your favorite comic favorite comment Robert Becky on Lewis Favorite comic right here. Yeah, that's a weird question. No, so I didn't know I have to Hey, can you fucking talk please I have to see the special first right before I hold judgment

So you're not even in on it. It's okay. Okay, because yeah What are you doing it's the week of the special why would this is coming out next Monday? They just went very accurate You know, I know it's a it's a politically safe answer But I really respect every comments room for different reasons Different reasons like I think no will I would want clothes in a show like a fucking where they're tired and they they you know like I Something screaming at me thank god, you know, I would want Lewis opening I'd want you know Vicki on middleing and we'll closing so little scope goes off the fucking show

Yeah, yeah, scope goes doing checks. Maybe You know what that show I'll take a check spot. Easily. That's a good show right there. Lewis is opening. Yeah, he's so good. Had a no hat, Lewis. You gotta go. I did it on that way. Had then no hat. That's how I get the crowd open up. I mean, I want both. Yeah, I want the black one. So funny that you cannot not wear a hat to a gig Not their caratop moment. No, if it's not a feature gig or if you have to do more than five minutes You have to have a prop hat That's funny. I can't wait you running to the me boy. Yeah, I have done that. I know of course you fucking sh fucking shalt eat. We should steal his hat next time we do a show together.

Oh, God. Let's imagine when I used to do comedy, I used to have buck teeth when I first started, and I would put these plastic buck teeth in, and I would go, look, a goofy vampire, though. And I would go, go into the hardware store and go, do you have a file? Dude, it would kill.

And one time I forgot them on this gig, and I had to do, I showed up, and they were like, yeah, you got to do 45. Like the promoter lied to me. And he just wanted to get somebody up there to do the gig. I had 10 minutes in fucking, eight of it was teeth. So I forgot my bug teeth.

You can't go buy buck teeth. You need a certain joke shop to get them. And I tried to make them with a paper plate. I tried to make buck teeth. And they just got wet and went in my mouth. So I was like, they turned into gum. And I'm like, look, I'll vampire. But it was just regular teeth.

It looked like you said something on my mouth. I bombed so bad and that's the night I decided I came up with just a premise. Country music is so easy. You can make up any song. That's all I thought. So I just started singing songs on stage. Can we hear the songs? Dude, I don't remember the songs but I remember it was like, it was just like, my dog

left me, my wife's a bitch. She don't like me no more. And I, dude, I don't know if you ever, when you feel the geek shivers, when you know you're bombing or something that just said is terribly awfully uncomfortable to you, and you feel it in your neck and in your head. It's like hot.

Like a heat. It's it, dude, that hit me, that hit me, that sensation fucking six minutes into my set. Six minutes in, I had that heat sensation. Oh, you had me 25 minutes? I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had 39 minutes.

I had 39 minutes, I had 39 minutes, I had that so great. And I, and this is so great, you're just stuck. This is why I'm a comic though, I did it. I just fucking stayed up there and just talk. I had a fucking talk. I remember I went up to my room.

What color was that? It was in, it was a gig in Burlington, Vermont. I've never been back there since. This was years ago, I've never been back since. I remember I got the gig that day in the, like noon, the guy goes, I need you been back since. I remember I got to gig that day in the noon, the guy goes, I need you up there today. And it was, you know, back then driving a couple hours or a few, was fucking crazy.

I'll do 10 hours and it doesn't bother me now. But back then driving, my mom driving was like a motherfucker when you first started comedy, like, it's an hour. How am I gonna stay up? You used to get like a bunch of food and gum and, so I remember I drove the wrong way on the highway for two hours. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

So the wrong direction, you're on the wrong side of the highway. The wrong direction. Oh, I took... Bobby killed a grandmother. Yeah, it was really bad. So I went the wrong way for two hours. I'm like, this doesn't seem right. I've done that before. See, you have to get the. I'm like this doesn't seem right Yeah, I've done that before you have to get the Liberty value like this isn't

Welcome to California no GPS no way that you had to just go ask some dude at a mobile And I was like what I don't like go up that route And it says a real long time ago white people working at mobile. Yeah, let's go long time ago Yeah, let's do a long time ago. Yeah, back I kind of want to let them go further. No, it's a yeah I like your voice about both your agent and the mobile guy are the same guy booked you for the gig and the mobile But wait, it's also is already way to see it to see his two impressions

So I So already Lang's working at a gas station. So, you get a podcast, you're coming on, you should. You know, I take a laugh, jump to the street, I think. I'm like a guy, he comes up, he doesn't even know what's going on. Um, I'm so pissed, that's how you do. Anyways, so I finally got on the right... I got on the right... I got on the right track.

I made it to the gig, 20 minutes before the gig. I've been on the road for five hours. It's nuts. I've been driving for fuck, it seems like days. I get there. I was just eating the whole time to stay awake. I was just... I wasn't doing it.

Literally, I was just fucking dead. I run in. This is my first big, you know, road gig. And I get there. It's this other guy and me, and I gotta close. Dude, I remember going up to the room after that being so tired. I remember it was like cold and gray,

and I was just like sad. And then I remember, I woke up the next day, and at like 8.30, I got the phone rings. And it's the management and they are fucking pissed. Wow. Imagine how the club or you, the management called me of the build of the hotel.

Not a fucking club. I didn't know you fucked. You were the whole town. The fire inspectors on the line. You got that. Municipality's getting involved. She was so mad. She's like, you know, and what is this country shit?

And you had something in your mouth, you know, and then you, I was really dirty at some point she goes, I go listen, I'm gonna tell you right now. I have 10 minutes of fucking mediocre shit. Okay, and A, does that a teeth? And I don't have teeth. So, unless you got some teeth, unless you got some teeth,

or else you can't do it. I go, I never headline and she gets, what did you really say? I said that, I told her, I go, I'm not a headliner. I didn't know, I thought I was doing like 20 minutes or 15 minutes or something like that. I can't do 40. I don't have it and she called the club owner and that's why he didn't call me because he knew he fucked me He knew he fucked Terry fucked everybody. He just threw me up there because somebody bailed all them. How much how much was his spot? I think it was a hundred bucks and he never paid me five

No, she's yeah, I thought I was doing a ten minutes spot Yeah, it was it didn't pay you That's fuck fuck. He didn't pay you I like it. I used to call him no money downs Billy downs I like it how the building called you. Yeah, I went past the booker and the building it went right to the building Dude, you know uncomfortable was walking into I had to go do the gig that night Like they they had to call somebody in fill in. So I had to go do like, you know, 15 minutes that night. So you drove back, wait, did you get to know money? I didn't get my teeth. That was the last time, the last time I was like, I'll never ever

depend on something other than my powers against. How long you kept doing a T joke at that? That was it. That was the last time I ever. But I want to be honest, you probably should have done the T thing, you're special your special would have been like an eight or nine Yeah, give me the bomb down. I Was speaking to that my special is coming out Friday night on comedy central, which I'm very excited about We we filmed it ourselves finally, you look, man, you guys are all, you've been through shit like this, Mike. You're gonna go through it.

You're all go through it. Have you ever special in Iowa Special Hat? No. Well, you're gonna go through it, too. In this business, it's hard to get somebody to go, we like you, we wanna produce your hour special, because that's somebody saying, we have the money, and we know how to do it, and we'll do it for you.

All you have to do is come up with the jokes. Go do you shit. That's a hard thing to get to and some people never get that and not to say that everybody deserves it but there are some funny motherfuckers that have never had an hour special. Okay, that's a fucking fact. Yeah. But it is what it is. Comedy is at this time and what sells and what gets people to watch isn't always what you know Every comic cast but saying that now that with the fans

That's why it's so this is the greatest part about social media Podcasting and all that stuff. What does this do for you now the fans can actually get involved and you know Help you do it. You know our Shafir I fucking love that guy. Yeah, he just goes out and his fans help him create, right? You know, did you see him at UFC? No, oh my god, dude. It might be the funniest thing I've ever seen anybody do ever right? All right, so during the you let me Let me finish this thought hold that fucking or he thing it's great. It's great. It's a very short thing Yeah, but I was making his tongue making it really longer by no, but he doesn't understand he only understand Yeah, he's just me me He's not really listening to anything anybody else saying where can I get into I can make a story I'm a mental already I said it's one of the funniest things I've ever seen I should you know

I Remember you what about I should have said now. Why would I have him on this episode? Yeah, I should have been like one of the nighttime episodes. It's like a child You can't like he wants to come back to you feel bad Anyways So it's I already fear is fucking great at that. He's one of the guys who's done that of course Louis did it too But you know a guy like Ari you know goes out there and gets somebody behind him and then they sell it on their own Which is great. That's exactly what we did

We made it at the place exact place. We wanted to do it Which sucks because you know it's great big like but they try to get you we have to do it at this theater You know we have to do it here, and it's like, what does a guy who did it the night before? It almost like, specials to me became monologue sets, just longer. You know what I mean? Like a perfect, oh my God, with the perfect lighting, the perfect crowd,

the perfect situation, and this perfect set, and we're gonna, it's like, oh here, look how awesome this is. And that's how the experience of comedy, really, 99% of the time. Well comedy, everything is born in fucking small places. Also, everything is cool. Well, it's who you are as a comic.

Like the way you shot yours, I really like, because you're a club guy. So it was a great scene for you know? You know, none of us are, I mean, I don't, we're not theater guys, you know? I mean, the gear guys. All right, like, it's almost like a factory thing, like, they, they shot a bunch of comics in one night,

change the background, they buy the same background, same audience for four shows, and you know, well, you know what I wanted with mine is that I wanted the actual venue to be a character in the special, which a lot of these specials, you don't even know where the fucking theater is, right? Because it has nothing to do with, it has to do with, we got this place cheap and we're shooting a lot of these specials, you don't even know where the fucking theater it is. Because it has nothing to do with,

it has to do with, we got this place cheap and we're shooting a bunch of shit here, whatever. I love like, you know, live from the purple onion, or, you know, these, where the actual venue was a part of like the character in the show, which I think, I love in comics do that. When you're like, oh, this is where they shot that. This is where he did that, that's where she did that. I she makes it special, more memorable too, because it's like that place.

Yeah, I mean, the villain makes it special. Yeah, the villain, Johnny ground. I'm the first guy to do an hour. You know, I mean, I know I tried to get in before a tell show, but it just didn't happen. But you know, it's a different type thing, but I'm the first guy to do an hour there, which is fucking awesome. Yeah, it is. You know, now whoever does it after me, it's been fucking done. Good feel. Yeah. Um, the look, oh, that's where Robert Kelly did his special. Yeah.

You don't know what I'm saying? Totally. Um, about Ted at the creek. I mean, that's pretty crazy. You know, what? Ted Alexander. Yeah, dude. The creek.

I mean, that was awesome. So like, yeah, that's the Ted environment. If you're really going to see Ted, you know, where it's just like he's going to bring you in an actual creek. I was getting a special. I'm pretty pumped about it. I'll take it into creatures.

I'm just an iPhone selfie and a dark creature. We plug it in. But I gotta turn around. I gotta do the spin. Hold on. Guys, my half black girlfriend. Come on. He's telling the fucking creatures in the woods.

Yeah. Hey, they were good listeners. All right. They're good listeners that they're. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He cuts a little notch out of a tree to put his phone on.

Yeah. Yeah. But my mom will be holding the thing. So anyways, yeah, to be able to fucking do it where you want with the people Bobcat directed it and Serpico produced it. And we wanted to make it cinematic, which fucking happened, visually it's fucking awesome.

And then to have Comedy Central, the mother fuckers, after we do it, go, yeah, we like it, we want it. Which is fucking, dude, I can't, we want it, which is fucking, dude, I can't tell you how proud of that I am, dude. Did you think that we're gonna pick it up? No, no, no, no, no. I didn't understand the importance of a director directing the comedy show until I seen some bad comedy shows.

Yeah, dude, I'm not saying nothing, but you know, I recently, I watched my special a couple times just because I had to and I don't like watching myself, I hate fucking watching myself. Yeah, you know, I recently I watched my special a couple times just because I had to and I don't like watch myself I hate fucking watch myself. Yeah, I only like what I'm doing right the fuck now Comment I only like what I did this weekend. I'm happy this weekend Right, and I'll fucking hate that in a couple months Yeah, and like I'm I'm never happy with what I did

I'm only happy with what I'm doing right the fuck now. So to watch it is kinda like, ugh, fuck me. And then you have all your paranoia and all that shit seeps in and it's like I almost have to go fuck it. It's out there, I can't do anything about it. People can think what the fuck they want. I'll just try to make the next one more satisfying for me or better as much as I can. But it's, you know this.

This is good though, because you're striving for even better to be best. What's that? That's good because you're always striving to be better. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's this one is fucking, it's crazy. You know, when we did it, it's like, who knows? That's the risk.

It's like, I might be never a cellist anybody. And then when you finally do it, it's like, fuck yeah. Yeah. Comedy Central, and Netflix bought it. And the great thing is we own it. To own your shit, man. That's the most important thing. I remember Burys to say a lot of the time,

it's very important to own your material. I was like, yeah, if you can afford that. Most guys can't afford to own their content. They make billions of dollars from your own material. Well, they do, but it's also, they're taking a huge risk because they put them in the own your own material though, because I own the rights to that. The DVD comes out and I own the rest of the percentage.

He gets to release, say, one, they won't go syndicated. Well, you know, to my website this Friday, we just released a whole new website where you can go and buy my special pre-order it for five bucks. on KeyBoys.com, which website? Robert Kelly.com. Robert Kelly Live.com.

So, I just love Les and Lewis Bomb. Yeah. I like the fact that the entire thing is a sound clip. What'd you say, buddy? I like the fact that you had it and then you shot it. You weren't worried about who was gonna buy it, how it was gonna play out. I mean, that comes into effect at some time.

But it's better just like you have it, you shoot it and then see who wants it. You know what I mean? But the important thing is even if nobody wants it, you have it and you shot it and it's good. Yeah. It's the most important thing. I mean, I understand the risk on the airport too though.

It's like, okay, they can't do specials with everybody. They have to actually pick the people they like or they can sell or get people to watch their networks. So you have to, but after the fact, I like they're buying people's specials now. Oh, we like it, great, you did a great job. Let's air that, that's fucking great. To air it with the specials that they shot

is pretty fucking honorable. Right, yeah. But also, now that you can go to my page, and yeah, it's five bucks. So you can own it for five bucks, but you can also give, I did somebody pay 50 bucks for it. That's cool. So you can actually, you can just pay as much as you want for it. So it's like a donation more.

It's a minimum five bucks, fuck it, anybody can get that, or you can give six, or you can give fucking 20. Whatever you want as a fan of mine, to show support for me, you can give fucking 20 whatever you want as a fan of mine to you know show support for me You can do that and Ari's doing that with his new special and the fun. He's doing it. He's doing his with comedy central But his all the money that he gets is going to him. Oh, he's all the extra money goes damn But this he doesn't own that one. He owns his first one. This one that I did I own me and Jim super when you're gonna say about all

He doesn't know that one. He owns his first one. This one that I did, I own, me and Jim Super. What were you gonna say about Ollie? Oh, we ready? Yeah, we're ready now. Okay. UFC, which was a boring night. Boring night UFC.

We did a lot of fun hanging. We were seeing. It was a cool night. I was gonna do that this second half, but we can move on to that. What's the UFC? Our, our sphere was there. Our, our, our, our show,

Joe Rogan brings, he, if you guys don't know, Joe has the magical fucking life He has the life that I think I want and I think Lewis wants where he is anybody wants this room. Well not anybody I don't think I don't think D. Pooh would want it. I think D. Pooh would actually hate it do Pooh do you think D. Pooh would hate it? Yeah, do you do an hour specials and then going to do It's not hour specials, but he's saying hour special's saying hours special film an hour special. No, oh His whole life he's just talking about the Hulk that like the whole shabang like he Doesn't the uf's the big major ufc events, okay?

The night before does a standup show at a local fucking theater wherever the fuck that is Sal's it the fuck Doesn't have to worry doesn't have to it's gonna it's gonna sell the fuck out with UFC Joe Rogan fans. Yeah. You know, great. They get his, and then he brings all his friends, which I love. He just says, guys, let's go. And they all fucking go.

Go where? To the show. They're all on the show. They go to Vegas with them. They all fly in. They fly in. Flys them in, puts them up. They all do stand up.

Then they go to the fucking event. Yeah, and they sit cage side. You'll see, you'll obviously already in the background, in, puts them up, they all do stand up, then they go to the fucking event. Yeah, and they sit cage side. You'll see, you'll obviously already in the background of Dr. Russell. So here's the thing, they're all, I always look as auditing something. He looks like he's got a good one. So in fact, if you pull it up for Bob, because he really should see this dude, it's fucking the greatest thing I've ever seen. So during the Nate Markhort fight, which was particularly boring fight, there's a camera angle where Ari, Shaffir and Duncan, Tressel are in the background of them while they're fighting. And the crowd doesn't really give a shit.

So as the camera, I don't know how already even timed it, I don't know how he knew where the camera angle was. They must have been looking at the jumbo tron. But as the cameras on them, you see behind Nate court him and dunquan trezel reach over to each other embrace and start making out on fucking camera oh my god i got it my god dude it is the fucking funniest thing this is why he's the funniest person on earth he trumped everybody he should fear is not look he is I'll say he's one of the funny skies walking But he's one of the he's probably the most fearless comic. Yeah. Oh, yeah, one of the most fearless guys right now

That is fucking brilliant. It's so fucking funny dude because you have see the word me heads Well fucking just homophobic People's heads are One of the funniest things I've ever seen is was what's his now? You have the asshole stick. Yeah, that's a beautiful, it's a great thing. Dude, people's heads are exploding. I'm gonna interrupt. One of the funniest things I've ever seen is what's his name, Sasha Baron Cohen, when he did the UFC event, and they were in their fighting,

and then they started fucking making it out of it. Dude, and they were throwing chairs. They were like, what, they were locked in the people going, motherfucker, it was like in the deep salt. No, I love how exaggerated he was. But they were sort of, I'm straight, straight with me. It's the most exaggerated thing I've ever had.

It's hilarious. It's one of the fun. If you've never seen that video, you gotta fuck it, check that out. It's very, but it's, it's, it's, it's, Ali G show. Yeah. They go to the South, they're doing an MMA MMA show and these two go in the fucking the octagon

Right they shut the door and he's yelling all that shit fucking Yeah, who's straight and proud of it. He's a stuff like that Literally these fucking red necks are losing their mind Like, oh, fuck yeah, fuck it! That's right, America! Vic Henry was the wreck. Vic was the guy, yeah. Oh, he was the interterno. Oh, I'm sorry.

And they fucking, they start to fight. And all of a sudden, they just grab each other. And they're oiled up. And they had oil, too, right? Remember, they started oiling with baby oil. And they started, dude, they just started making out. But not, dude, they were gay guy fucking alpha male making out like and the place

long and they start and they didn't know what you know when a human doesn't know what to do with his anger he stays where you grab something they started throwing chairs and it got dangerous man like shit just don't bell talked to vick about it and he was like he was like no man like they had to like come in and go hey it's a movie shoot like that like some of the shit he does is so balsy did he has he's got worked out because they were protected because they were in the cage yeah

yeah let me tell you something though one of those red necks could have fucking jumped that fence yeah and that would have been done you know that what about he probably disassembled it. What did he sing the national anthem? And the one second. Just one second. I need that to be seen. Thank you.

See? I need that to breathe. Thank you. See? Hang on, what's here? Hang on. Yep, that's shit. That was shit.

See? Hang on. What's wrong? Why are you off today? Hang on, I'm off. Well, not there. Yeah, but usually pretty of firemen. I'm playing the Hunky's chief. You're playing the number, Hunky's chief. I wish he would hit the number,

she would not be showing up anymore. You say Hunky's chief one more time? That's what I got. I'm gonna hit you with the Jewish kid. I'm a vat. What the guy who was there, man? He say shit. He's ha-ha-ha.

What you afraid to talk, man? Gotta be afraid, man. I gotta be afraid, man. I gotta be afraid, man. You're doing good. Yeah, yeah, I feel pretty good. He was there man, he say human. That's just a human. What the fuck is a live monkey? Well, Muppet came alive. That's human being. Yeah, that being him. That being human being, you fucking dumb dumb. Will's a bully.

He's not a bully. He's just, oh, blockhead. What the fuck are you doing? You're just spinning shit out. You're just rehashing. Louis keeps coming for the band in now. No. Just be keeping your fucking throne on the yuck out. You should have. It's just rehashing. Lewis keeps going for the band-in now, no. Trust me, keep it.

You'll fucking throw another yuck out. So yeah, well, I got a call from, I talked to scope when he was like, they're all watching the UFC up, stand up New York. And I was like, you know, I don't want to just assume I can fucking roll in there with all these fucking dudes. And then I called Lewis and they were like, yeah, come up. So I was like, all right, so right after my spot, I did a bunch of spots here.

That was right after my spot, I ran up to Staten up New York and I stopped at donut den on the way up. Oh, donut pub, you mean? Don't a pub, sorry, don't a pub. No, we should open up donut den because we've given it so much. I know, I always say done. But I fucking, I haven't had sugar and grains

since the day after Christmas. So I've been off in a week, over a week. It's over, fuck me, fuck you, it's over. It's 10 days because it's been 11 days for me Christmas day, so it's less than 10 days. Go on, fuck it, I'm on two weeks for me. Yeah, that's great. I'm fat, so fuck off, you have abs, I don't care.

I've been eating clean as a motherfucker. I'm not. So fuck off. You have abs. I don't care. I've been eating clean as a mother fucker. I'm not even fucking up either. Not even so this year going to the gym. Because your seat thing is in town. You have to see that you are. I'm sorry. You fucking fucking lunatic. What where are you right now? The UFC thing is in the york. No, it's it's the only state that doesn't have UFC. Well, no, there's no way. What was it? What is it? Three states. I forget which threeork no it's it's the only state that doesn't have ufc well no there's a way what was it what is it

three states are for the rest of it is three although they know that it's only what was it is it is it is it is it is it you don't have facts that i can't just say that because i don't know the exact state they are again i'll say whatever one it's the fucking you know what did it's not that you know what fucking the rattlesnake that's it uh... yeah new york's it new New York State is illegal to have MMA.

But that might change because the actual douche that's blocking it, silver, is actually being, but this is not the first time he's been checked by the... Why are they blocking it? Yeah, what's the point? It's barbaric. You want to, you want to know it's not, that's not the... I'll give you the quiddling happens. It's dude, it's politics.

It's fucking, there's a culinary union. That's like it's huge. You call it a culinary union. Yeah, go on a union. And it's now we're getting some of that. All the culinary unions are basically interconnected. And the casinos, the station casinos, which is the brand of casinos that the Fritida brothers own,

which they own the UFC. There are not, they're one of the only non-unionized casinos. Very small, it's a small casinos casino way off the strip. In the middle. They're one of the only non-unionized casinos that they have. It's a small casino way off the strip in the middle. Well, there's a few of them. Wait, so they're in the middle of the note. They're not on the strip. It's all like a huge massive.

So, cooks are blocking this. Basically, the culinary unions have gotten together and because they're non-unionized in Vegas, they're extraordinarily powerful these unions. It's gotten all over to New York and those are the ones. Those are the ones. The website, like whatever the website is, the anti-MMA website in New York, that's

like all the propaganda against you have seen how dangerous it is. It's completely run by this whatever section culinary union. But why does the cooks want it? Oh wow. It's not the cooks, it's because they won't unionize the casinos. In Vegas. Yes, but that union has more of a strong order than the one. The Conor Unes are extremely powerful. And there they're blocking the amount of it's just about blocking cash flow for the for teeter brothers in new york that's all it's about well it's still well it's it's pretty simple it's the there's a union and uh... they want the for teeter brothers to be unionized their casinos to be union so their employees can uh... have union wages and

have protection and they're like, fuck you. So like, okay, we're going to fuck you in New York City. We're going to use the power of our union to fucking lobby against you. So you won't ever get to play Madison Square God. Every other state's like, I go fuck yourself. They bring in millions when we have UFC here. Every state's clamoring to get them back or have them for the first time.

And New York City, look, New York City look New York City's New York City What about Barclay? Yeah, I'm sorry. Did you say Barclay You need Where's Barclay they can do that Barclay? That would be in New York also so that falls under the New York Yeah, well, you chicken and brothers are all fall under the New York. Is it New York City or New York State? It would be a state.

Yeah, it would be the state. Why about Jersey? Jersey is legal. They're doing it, Jersey. They do it in Jersey all the time. But to do an MMA event in New York City in Madison Square Guide, almost legitimizes the board, doesn't it? It doesn't, of course not.

It legitimizes, but it's it'd be fucking in, it'd be crazy not to do it. You know what I mean? It's they do because they do one in the summer the metal ends that would be nuts They have done it the metal ends. Yeah, they've done it. They've done they do it all over the They do it at the metal ends They've never done it. Yeah, I never did it. Well, actually when I met Ronda Rousey It was specifically it's not called the metal ends anymore. It's called whatever the loverland I guess not true because I don't know the fucking facts.

That's where we roll. Metal hands, man. It's fucking back. So wait, the store you is telling, where did that take place? I was on TV. What's on TV? It's televised, well.

What store are you talking about? You've done the USC store. I was into that, yeah, I was getting into that. Well, I went up to stand up in New York, Lewis bought the event on his computer and plugged it into the big TV up at the stand-up labs upstairs. Which hold on. Can I just list preference? Yeah, it wasn't open. What are you gonna do to it? Preface. Preface. Okay. We got it. It wasn't open to the public. It was just our buddies. It was like 10, 15 comics I got together. I don't want people listening because you can't

stream. It's illegal. Yeah, it's illegal to stream an event publicly, but it was just a group of guys. No, it wasn't in a bar. It was upstairs. It was just all hanging out. Everyone's fine. It was just all comments. Yeah. Yeah, it was just in the studio

while hanging out. Don't sue us, Andy. It was a union love food, which guys are doing. I eat all the time. Broccoli. Broccoli. Fatata brothers.

I think they're changing in the Fatata brothers just to make it a little more friends. I do want to order broccoli. You got any broccoli? Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, sit down. I'm down. I'm down broccoli What type of vegetables you like you're just there broccoli Bucleye, I said I like Bucleye and we miss

Green blends broccoli. I like broccoli and squal Green wins, Broadway, I like broccoli and squal. Broccoli and broccoli. You literally just have to say work. Okay, you just said it with like a little bit of swag on it. But it's like an echo. But I go up there and fucking it was crazy, man. It was just cool spot. I brought these fucking, how great were those donuts?

Didn't touch them. Didn't have it. That's impossible. These fucking, I went to donut pot. Pony donuts were there. Brand new, the brand new. Oh yeah. Brand new.

People were raving. Why are you talking about like, they were talking about the car. The car. No, because this is, oh, brand new chrono. They got chrono, so they got the car. Now, donut pub makes old fashion donuts. That's it.

They make, oh, the way the, I'm done with donuts. It's been there for 60 years. They make these donuts the same way. They're just fresh hot, awesome. They make'm throwing a cent. It's been there for 60 years. They make these donuts the same way. They're just fresh, hot, awesome. They make them twice a day. And if you go there, I know when to go there and they come out of the oven.

It really is fun. They know Bobby like he comes in. Bobby! No, I like that. I like it. I love it. They stamp every time you kind of stamp it. And it's time when you get free donut.

No, dude. It's old school, dude. This place has been the 60 years I mean the little spinny seats. It's got a small little bar. You can sit at to get off You know that's got old new magic mic. No, he wasn't there, but isn't that but I know when I usually fog I'm like I brought all these guys after the show one night I give the guy a fucking a huge tip and I go you bring those as they come out of the oven You give us first dibs. So we're sitting there just eating donut hot as they come out of the oven you give us first dibs So we're sitting there just eating doughnuts hot donuts out of the fucking Donut maker really melting what you're before I was before hot donuts or hot bagels hot donut

Hot dog You talking to me you talking to him the two face Donut it's a donut. It's a donut. It's not it's not bagel. It's a donut right? Yeah, I get hot bagels every day, it's a treat. I don't, but there's nothing like, here's the thing, I don't like the Dunkin' Donuts donut that Krispy Kreme donut, they're good, whatever I get it,

but I like the old fashioned donut, the cake donut, which shit on it. Are you a Dunker? Are you a high school, you fuck with Dunkin'? Dunkin' Donuts? No, Dunkin' in coffee, you like Dunkin' at all. No, I don't Dunkin' at all. I've got a Dunkin' recently, and I'm like, what's happening? I'm like, what's happening? I don't like Dunkin Duncan Duncan. No, no, no, don't get in coffee. You like I don't don't get all I got a Duncan recently and I like Duncan. I'm like what's happening. I don't like Duncan because if it has

chocolate it melts the chocolate chocolate. You know chocolate. You know that I tell you on the it was I think it was not on the show but I feel like I should share this with the fans as well. I know. Yeah. Very fat episode. If you feel it please do it because this is the way I think that I found out that was amazing there's this little place called holy cream they do they basically make they do old fashioned donuts that are hot. It's not hot. And then they do ice cream on them.

But what I did recently was, it's hard to find that, you would have dunked donuts, grab an old fashioned donut, and throw it in the microwave for like 20, 25 seconds, then throw a scoop of whatever ice cream you want on top of it and the ice cream melts into the donut. It might be the best thing I've ever had in my entire life. First of all, I went to Holy Cream when it first opened. I'm gonna, okay.

Over by my clothes. You hopped on the street like the Apple store. They pretty much hired a fucking heronatic kid. Oh, the service sucked, dude. The guy had dirty knuckles. And I remember he's dipping my donut into the chocolate with his hand. And I looked at his fingernail, thumbnail,

had blood and dirt I'm like from the night before but he's still I did though look like a Holding hold on you still I did you you got to take risks If you don't take risk I was gonna take the fucking nice HIV Don't this fucking AIDS addict. You miss all the donuts you don't need. You don't need them. But so I go up there and I mean the donut,

I met Dan Soder in the hallway and he literally took a donut of the box, put it in his pocket. He had to go on stage. He did a set with a donut in his pocket. And then I went upstairs and they had his fucking great room. I mean there was a bunch of cool, a lot of things I didn't know. Really cool and we watched these fucking boring fights.

God damn Nate Markhart, could you fucking live up to your body? Yeah. Well, it's not the way it used to be, he's a little pale now. His body was fucking, why you look at the pale, I'm not talking about the physical part. No, you need to be tan. What plan does to it? Yeah, you gotta be able to be a little pale. He was fucking shredded, really. He has to to go to a tanning salon you fucking girl. I got to do a fighting

I want to go this is going from donuts to fighting and then yeah right to the blue is as Ellie Yeah, well hold on hold on Mike what you want to talk about Mike? I don't know I think it's very training Flo I'm going with the flow. I don't I won't personally waste my carbs on donuts I'd rather raise them on kind of pasta, really, or pizza. I don't know, I don't know. I'm like, he makes a good point. I know I'm shitting on donuts, too. I'll tell you this for the sacrilege on the fly.

I'll tell you this with donut, then. I would, I hear what you're saying. Nice pizza, if you're gonna waste a nice carb day. It's just spaghetti. Oh, spaghetti's okay, great. That's fine, but this donut, pub, pub or dead. It's a pub. Dona pub is fucking insane.

How good are the donuts? It's unbelievable. And I'll tell you what I do. Right now I'm doing a cheat day once a month, and I will do pizza and donut pub, like I wish you a wife she'd do. I wish you a wife she'd do. Dona, dona. And, and, and, so you say she is it.

And I can't do both. It's overload. No, I'm going to be overload. You enjoy one thing. And and and say she is it can't do both. It's overload You enjoy one thing How about with the UPS guy you gonna fight with It's fucking big black Shit yo, what's up bitch? Well, he fucking puts a comeback tomorrow on your forehead sticker I'm doing one cheat day a month

Right where I eat whatever I want. Yeah, all day fucking long all day nonstop and every other day a week cheek day He said you're fat. That's what he meant. I know what you fucking man, dude He's in way better shape than you do. Well, Will's fucking dude. He here's the thing He started off from being a Well will fucking do he hears the thing he started off from being a Adjacent who put on muscle I start off being a 20 he was fat dude you weren't fat. Well, it's a fat. I never knew you know He wasn't fat. I knew well We did not know we're talking about being fat hang on one second will was a fatty really he's got pictures the Prove it did I remember was fat. You know, it was a fat posse

Yeah, you are mad. I first. You can't get with your stomach Yeah, you are mad. I first thought I can get rid of my stomach at them in the process Yeah, I'm in the process of it six months. Yeah, no, I just wanted to bring it Bullshit got called Jeff side shredded club. Look it up. Dude. He's fun. So dude. Yeah, the guy's gorgeous He's gorgeous. What is it? Let me see 10? Let let me see it He's ten. No, you don't see my camera step off camera. You can on camera get him off camera Just put me on camera just me is on camera. Let me see a stomach make sure he's on camera I'm not yet. I want to see this. We just got a camera. I just want to see it. Let's probably do a reaction shot I know this a reaction shot oh get everybody except little spit I hear what I do

You're willing to suck at dude's fake dicker. Yeah. It doesn't make sense to me. Yeah, no. You're willing to fucking, I will give you a reaction shot when I'm ready to fucking. You're not, I'm a, do you always push it back? You know, it's pretty woman.

He knows he says, what's that? You're not on camera how much? He's not about that. Louis, you're off. Bitch, I just want a reaction shot. Oh, of your stomach. Big face. I just want a reaction shot of your stomach. Big face. Please. No, let me see your stomach. Dude, my stomach's terrible. I'm not claiming anything. I know. My, my, my terrible. I'm just saying I want to see. I want to see before

that. Wait, you told me your abs are popping. Not me. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, they were popping right before Thanksgiving. And now I'm getting back there. Yeah, I just want to see it. You you know on camera. It's just I just fucking said I will show you right That's where I'm gonna be fucking shredded. I just want to see them right now me. No, why? I'll show you one more I'm break You're not on camera. I should be about being over here. It's not about being on what are you afraid of anything? You're afraid what are you afraid? I'm not afraid of anything. You're afraid What are you afraid? I'm ready to show my abs yet open up. What are you afraid of? I'm ready to show my abs. Listen, what are you vulnerable? Yeah, be vulnerable. I'm not ready to show off my abs yet

Yeah, yeah, it's not so on all. Yeah, just show us what you're stalling with and then we're gonna see the Yeah, man two two weeks later. Where's your supportive girl? We already doesn't have sleeves. Those are trust Where's the port of girl? He already doesn't have sleeves. This is a trust circle Why we try to get him to talk about fucking silly guys Take your shirt Bullshit Come on that's a little bit. He pull his dick out a lot quicker than his abs. I know Come on that's a little bit he pull his dick out a lot quicker than his abs. I know So we go up to the we go up to this thing it was actually a fucking great time and then of course Dante shows up

Fucking Louis hits everybody with his ass as he's walking in fucking giant midget ass just And he kept on yelling out this fight stinks But everyone because Dante so terrified everyone had a fucking bite their tongue and not yell your instincts I was not going I would have took a nice high beat for everybody I can tell my shot his face and I'm sitting next to his hell's angel but yeah Ruling with a fucking hell's angel guys got a patch little patches fucking sons anarchy And you see wearing his He's got a coat over it

This guy's get over I think from Sesame Shed This guy's got rings, okay? Rings that you're dying to make fun of Right? Yeah, I'm going to that Is that the mojo room? I mean, he's got a cane He's got a fucking cane He's got a fucking cane. He's not a cane. You know, he's been to some shit with a cane.

Yeah, this motherfucker. He's been to some shit. This guy was no joke. Yeah. This guy's no joke. When he shook my hand, when you have a shake somebody's hand and you like, this guy has man strength. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like the fight script. He shook my hand and I wanted to go, ow. So bad. But I shook back enough where it didn't really break anything. Like I was just trying, you did not. Just to like, you gave your heart. I'm not a victim. I'm not a victim.

You just trying to survive. So yeah, it needs to next to me the whole fight. And he keeps saying stuff and I'm trying to inform him. He's like, what the fuck this guy? why isn't he just fucking headbutt him? It's like you really can I just fucking kick him in the fucking balls Well, I just fucking pull out a bottle smash him in the fucking face. He used to be able to do that But the rules of change I'm saying on fucking wrongtubs. No, I'm saying that

You know basically I agree with that. We should be able to we should be able to stab you. I mean that making more fun You know take out a knife or cane sword whatever you have in there I like how talk I just run around with a team of murder Yeah, it really does, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, We're gonna shut down the network for a month Bobby Yeah, he rolled in it was like fuck it just changed the whole atmosphere. Yeah, it was fun I felt bad the little kid what's his name from LA? That's in with us now that was up there the kids in a little Arab kid. Oh What the fuck is his name?

A little Arab kid. Oh, what the fuck is his name? Oh, good his name, dude. I'm gonna get him a show, really sweet guy. He's been doing comedy, L.A. for a while, and now he lives here, but he's sitting next to me. He's tiny. Hey, small dude, but we having a good time, he ain't got me a water, you know what I'm trying,

you know, the room smells like donuts, pizza, and pot. It's like, you know, I'm fucking losing these. All the things I can't have. Onoosh. What? Onoosh. Hang on one second, go ahead, what was it? Onoosh. I'm fucking lose these all the things I can't ask What a noosh hang on one second. Go ahead. What was it? What the fuck the guys name is a noosh he's allergic to broccoli his name is a noosh. No, I'm actually I don't know I don't know. I don't know let me see. I let me ask you another question Yeah, let me ask you sure. I'm just making fun of well

He doesn't say that. Do you say, actually, no. He did just say it. So I will validate that. So we're sitting there. It's fucking, you know, he literally sits down and this kid got up for one second and this guy just rolls in and sits there.

You're not gonna tell him to get up there. No. No. Dude, I wanted to get up. I was nervous. He went up being a sweet guy, though. We actually exchanged cigars at the end of it. He was like, what's this? Just gave him your cigars. And off of it.

That way you got it. Oh, yeah. There's jacket too. Yeah, get my jacket. I get my cigars. And we changed wallets. It's a holiday. And we changed wallets colors Holidays while I gave my wallet I hooked it from my chain Yeah, he was he was a mother fucker man. I think Dante's getting bigger too, right? Dante's like more muscular a feather universe is expanding and so is it

I mean it's just a natural physics that was The universe is expanding and so is it I mean it's just a natural physics that was Ranch that was Brands you said the mellows Disguised your voices mind. Yeah, yeah, I can ask all Dante's a bitch dude a fucking up in front of his girlfriend Does he ever girlfriend Bobby why are you crazy? What do you say? What are you crazy? What are you saying?

Fuckin' pissin' his mom's mouth right in front of him. Dude, stop that. No, Bobby, see. You're fucking fucking. I'm on your side. Bobby's a pizza chef. Don't they tapped you out in 10 seconds. Oh, God.

Oh, he's fucking monster. He's a monster. He fucked his a- He will sp- He put him in some grip. I never even saw before. He did an arm bar with his fucking bicep. He's been fucking monster monster. He fucking is a busy, he put him in some grip. I never even saw before.

He did an arm bar with his fucking bicep. Dude, he squeezed me between his forefinger and thumb and I was like, all right, I'm done. He's so strong. And Dante also has years and years and years of fucking like martial arts experience. Does he really? Yeah, dude.

I'm like karate though, that type of shit. And he do a fucking like a cata. No. Dante showed me. I do a fucking like a cata. Dante showed me. I'm not afraid of a cata. Dante showed me a fucking axe kick one time. He just like he swoosh his foot. No, listen, first of all, there's no way that leg with that little baby fat leg hits up over anybody's belly button.

Yeah. He wasn't married. He's like a giant midget. You know, agile midgets are. Okay, right. You know what? I forgot about that. What the fuck?

You don't think that they can stick the leg straight up in the air, but they can't. They can flip. I saw Brad's fucking closing bit. Brad's fucking spins around. You're right. You're absolutely right. So yeah, all right.

I'm afraid. Dantti doesn't need to know karate, by the way. No, no, no, no. Goddy fight that guy. You just let him punch it. Hopefully he gets tired punching you. Here's a movie grab a earl. Grab those fucking earl.

Here's the thing he's gonna do. To fight Dante, you need a car. You need to be able to run around a car enough. That's hard to wear. Where he just goes. Bobby, Bobby, stop running, Bobby. Bobby, I'm tired, Bobby. Yo, let's get some chicken. Fuck that, dude.

I mean, Dante literally the only chance he got is that he would get winded. And when I say the only chance, you got, I mean, maybe me or you, Mike, everyone else in this room will be fucking dead, including you. We I think will I think we'll be out of weather No, welcome box. We're looking for days. Well, he's tough. Well, it's tough. Yeah Yeah, will will just back Well, it's a man Mike spa and um one day about Mike when he when he uh when he miss He throws or everything we learn in box and he throws out the window and just going to his left foot. I fired with Mike, remember that? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Remember that, I was fucking, oh, that was so funny. Hey, you're smashing me in a face with his own fist. I was fucking out, he had to hit pads and he didn't know how to like not, like to, you're supposed to push, so when we're fighting and I punch your glove, you're supposed to kind of punch back a little

so it doesn't hit you in the face, but he kept forgetting to do that, so I just kept jabbing him and his punch your glove, you're supposed to kind of punch back a little so it doesn't hit you in the face, but he kept forgetting to do that so I just kept jabbing him and his fucking own glove would smack him in the eye. Yeah, cuz we're doing drills. We're doing the jab drill and Bobby's just smashing me in the smash me in my glove. This hit me in the face. Yeah, but you're supposed to dodge your head. I know what I'm supposed to do but you see it happening and you just keep doing it Which makes me feel like it was a little bit scared Why you keep me in the head day? You're supposed to move your head. I know what I'm supposed to do But we're doing a drill with a nice little extra You're not supposed to keep smashing me in the face like dip. You're not doing it right dude

When you're drilling it's a war so my when you're drilling it's a war so are you supposed to learn? It's a war so when you're drilling it's a war so how are you supposed to learn? Big would know what the facts said for fake. Hey, come on. This is ridiculous. I start using words ridiculous Scopos leaving thank God thank God. Thank God show just got good. Hey, this show really doesn't break people Really was you a break fucking one of these guys just I'm out Kelly's back in Australia. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Oh, you broke. You broke yourself. I remember the time I was boxing when I was doing all that stuff. Keith, this motherfucker, you want to talk about unfair. You want to a fucking creep. He's yelling at me. You know, come on, you fat motherfucker. Come on, Bob.

Motivate me. I says something to him. He gets up. He punches me in the rib I remember that I Dude dude, I'm out of breath. I just I'm really I'm fucked He comes up he goes you motherfucker and fucking sure chaps me right into the fucking rib cage Narks the wind out of me and I'm yelling and everybody's laughing at me because of them No, I'm like and then I'm like, and then I'm like, he just fucking,

I'm really, I was really fucking mad, but it was so funny to them. Yeah. They didn't understand, my madness was me being like funny, but I was, and I was so, I wanted to hit him with a weight. I wanted to go, just get a nice 25 pounder

and fucking smash it right in his fucking head. Did Robert Kelly went to jail for 13 years? He put two robins in an coma. He's the worst to work out with though. That motherfucker will do you yelling? He did the entire time. The entire time. Which I'm amazed that he has the wind to do that.

He has the fucking window right? He has the time too. That's career. That's all you got. That's all you got. That's all you got. That's all you got. I'm a monster. I actually took the class one day without you guys, without everybody, the advanced class I fucked up, dude. I came in, because I had to do earlier, and it's only, it was like nothing. It was 25 bucks to take that class. So I jumped in.

I was like, I can do this, dude. Oh god, little Asian girl, fucking beat the fuck out of me. Just fucking jabbing me in the gut, fucking bottom of the chin, smacking me around that fucking Haitian dude, Steve. What's that, is that your friend? Steve, yeah. Did you meet him and then you hooked everybody up? Yeah.

So from Haiti, did you meet in Haiti? Steve is from, and uh, they met floating on two different pieces of driftwood. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I did you get these like broccoli you Buckley We'll go buckling Buckling no man I'm good I need some water Buckley and buckling Buckley yeah no difference yeah no difference play that back. Yeah, make that your rental

No difference. I'm boggling. Yeah, no difference. Play that back. Make that your ringtone. Bocca Lee, Bocca Lee. Bocca Lee, Bocca Lee. I'm saying two different things. Yeah, we know.

Bocca Lee. We know Bocca Lee. We get not. Bocca Lee. Bocca Lee. And Bocca Lee. Bocca Lee and Bocca Lee. We get it.

Two different things. We got to talk about it. One has a Lee at the end and one has a lay. I get it. But you're still fucking up at the beginning of it. Bocca Lee. Bokalai Boggalee and Bokalai I fucking love you, dude

So yeah the fights were fucking I mean look man I think We're not gonna do a break we're gonna roll through just have a fight this week. Oh you guys The weekend with with John what's that guys? Yeah, that's what we're talking about Yeah, oh the Reads that's a sweet game. Yeah, the first of all the Jones come here fight Broccoli all right check it out real quick. we're just doing some reads before we go any further. We're going to roll through the break today. Here's the deal, man.

The season-long fantasy football league may be over, but there's still plenty of action every week at DraftKings.com America's favorite one-week fantasy sports site. All right, listen, where you can win huge cash prizes every time you play. Day from Boston won a million dollars in one day, just playing fantasy football at draft kings. So did Matt from Florida and Ray from New Jersey. In fact, draft kings has crowned a new millionaire nearly every week this season. And don't forget about the exciting money making contest and other sports too like hockey and college and pro hopes. Head to DraftKings.com now and use code Kelly to play free in the $100,000 fantasy football contest this weekend. That's happened in this weekend at DraftKings.com. Bigger events, bigger winners, bigger, bigger millionaires enter Kelly for free entry now at

Draft Kings dot com that draft kings dot com and make sure you check out my special this Friday night or go to robber Kelly live dot com check out the trailer we have an awesome trailer up there for you guys listening life and it's pretty amazing what else you have the show for Parkinson's disease yeah one is at January 13th 11 o'clock at the at January 13th, 11 o'clock at the Village Underground. January 13th, 11 o'clock, Village Underground for...

Rick Shapiro. No, Rick Shapiro, but for Parkinson's. Rick Shapiro's doing a show, three shows that night, all of the city to raise money for Parkinson's. It's a great event. You guys want to make sure you get your tickets for that. It's January 19th, the Village Underground. January 13th, Village Underground. So make sure you get your tickets for that. It's January 19th, the Village Underground.

January 13th, the Village Underground. So make sure you support that. It's a great cause and Rick is a great guy in one of New York's best comedians ever. So there we go, what else? Also, if you're listening live tomorrow, eight o'clock you'll be doing your unmasked live on the Rodog channel.

Yeah, still a bit of a run. At the stand. You listen live right now, you wanna get some tickets. There's a very few available, so make sure you check that out. And that's it, right? And then we'll do all that stuff. So we're back.

So anyways, we're doing, the John Jones fight. First of all, the fucking John Jones is a legitimate fucking bad guy. I mean, he's a fucking, I mean, you follow him, am I, right? Yeah, a little bit. the fucking John Jones is a legitimate fucking bad guy. I mean, he's a fucking, I mean, you follow him, am I right? Yeah, a little bit. Okay, so John Jones, he's, I don't know,

he did a couple shitty things at the end, the end of the fight, he hit him twice when the bell rang. Well, he's, he, he, and then the third round, he did that too. He put his hands up before he entered the end zone. You know what I'm saying? I hate that. Fuckin' hate that. Fucking hate that.

Now that makes me happier than seeing some fucking asshole running into the end zone and like, he slows down and then a guy just knocks it out of his hand. And he, you know, he just, you know, just stupid. Now that he raised his hand, then he turned around and saw a couple seconds on the clock and he threw a couple extra punches. Yeah, shitty.

It's like this guy, he could have done the same thing when you raised your hand He could have saw you not defending yourself and suck of the fuck out of the side of your head He should have oh yeah, he did he didn't need No, I'm not me. Jones He said his hands up Jones put his hands up then he said I realized it was more time So I threw a couple extra shots and fuck you and then he he responded and then he says But he and then he threw some stuff after the bell. It's not really after the bell.

Look at that happens. You just threw two punches at me. He was already fucking you in motion. It happened. But that was kind of dicky. Yeah, I think they don't like each other legitimately. They don't like each other, right? Yeah, they had a real beef and a real grudge match.

You know, John Jones is the way in. This isn't John Jones realizes that he is money may weather. You know, John John's the way in. The second John John's realizes that he is money may weather. You know, a lot of people have talked about this. The second John John's will become that fucking big show that he is, because he is confused. John Jones is confused. He doesn't know who the fuck he is. One minute, he's a 25 year old Christian who's thanking Jesus and thanking the Lord and being this fucking, you know, this role model.

And the next minute, he's drunk driving with, you know, teenage white girls in this backseat. Maybe there's the same way. I know, but here's the thing, may weather embrace the money, may weather thing. May weather became fucking like counting the money and fucking going to clubs, getting to do and all that. That's what White said.

He goes, he should just embrace him being the bad guy. Do that. Just become that guy. And we'll love to hate him. We'll love it. We will love to hate him because right now the the general population and that's who they sell the fights to they don't fucking know they're like wait do it my supposed to like this guy

I'm supposed to hate this guy and that's why John Jones paper view numbers they're not like devastating numbers this one was will say that not will see when it comes out we don't know the numbers yet uh... i bet you did it definitely good i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i i can i can i can i can i can i can i can i Well tonight was good the yeah the numbers on it you know, he's holding 11 million Maybe seven thing I don't You're making a singer in I gotta do Joe Manor Reese's podcast

Fixing Joe fix it already what about fixing already Fixin' Joe, fixin' it already. What about Fixin' already? I love Drew's hand. I am. So, no, he said it's in this maybe seven figures. Pay per view. I bet you it's under 750, 750. It was more than 700.

He knew it was more than 700,000. He actually said that. It's seven something, but he goes, it might be seven. That's good numbers. It's great numbers. Yeah, but it's seven seven something but he goes it might be it might be seven one One of those that's good numbers great numbers Yeah, but it's not that when you look at what Mayweather does he does two million pay-per-view buys It's not I mean when you're comparing it to fucking

Boxing boxing is different mayweather's name one fucking guy in boxing. There's one show You're talking about MMA. There's fucking how many fights a year now? I look it so and so you can't compare the two for that fight. That did amazing numbers. Look, yes it did. And by the way, I'm the first one to say this. No, you're the second one. The UFC is very smart.

I bet you the second one. To embrace that business model, they don't put any stock, too much stock in anyone given fighter anymore. They stopped doing it with GSB. Why is that? Because they know that it is, they're one fight away from the retina being detached and they're fucking gone.

So instead of being in a situation like where they're boxing, all of its laurels are rested on Mayweather and Pacquiao. If these motherfuckers get into a plane crash one day going to some press conference, boxing is fucking dead. The UFC, UFC, those three letters are bigger than any one fighter out there. Period.

It's a league. That's it. And that's where they've been put in. And I think that that's why they don't really care of John Jones cells two or three million pay per views because in reality it's about the overall product. But here I'll tell you this though, they missed George St. Pierre. They missed Anderson. Oh yeah.

Because those motherfuckers saw, they saw, they saw so yeah, they need those people to come back You know they they need those motherfuckers to come back So if John would just embrace his bad guy shit and then the other guy could be the good guy They really have some WWE type fucking stuff happen But I don't I don't know people are invested now women are gonna take sides. I like him Yeah, he's a fucking asshole and then all the stats when people are gonna. Oh women are gonna take sides. I like him. He's a fucking asshole. And then all the stats when people are gonna, oh, let's watch the fights. I don't give a shit, yeah.

I mean, John Jones, you have to be right. He's fucking, he doesn't know who the fuck he is. And that's why people hate him. That's why people love Komi. I don't think, look, I don't like the meathead wrestler type fucking guy. No offense, Mike. But, you know, like a short block, heady fucking dry personality cut.

And he's fucking he has fox catch your head. But they, all right, let me know. Let me know if it's a good or a bad thing for a while. I'm gonna take my medicine. I don't think, I'm still, I gotta cut this cheese on your head. Mike, Mike's in wear on those headphones, so he doesn't get fucking cauliflower ears. To me, it doesn't matter about you.

It just matters that he's like a dominant fucking. That's why I would watch. But you're a competitor and you're a sports fan. They're selling this to just the general public. And you have to hear the thing, dude. And this is why they put so much, this is why when they show a countdown show with Cam Velasquez, they spend a half an hour showing you footage of his fucking Mexican father unloading banana trucks for it because they want you to they want to point heart shine story and John Jones there's just no real story there there's no tangible thing to hold on to and go like holy shit

either I love this guy or I fucking hate this guy because it's all over the place this John Jones nobody hasn't nobody really wants to see this guy win but in reality nobody really wants to see him lose that badly yet, except for the hardcore fans. The hardcore fans hate him. Well, because you hate him because he's not genuine. You know, nothing comes out of his- one day is this, one day is that. You know, you get a guy like Daniel who's just that guy. You know who he is, you know what you're getting. People don't like fake people.

People don't like fucking Hollywood horse shit. You know, it's, you know, you're one way in front of the camera and you're another way behind closed doors, you're another way on Instagram, you're another way when you're around hot chicks, you're another way when you're around your family, it's like fucking bullshit. And it's, when you see that, it's like, ah, fuck you. Yeah, you're the, you're the, you're the, you're the, you're the, you're another thing that fucks me up about him. He's such a, he's so much bigger than everybody else,

except for the gifstestin. You know, then they were, they actually, they were both the same size, but did you see him? He's a fucking heavyweight fighting a light heavyweight. I don't give a fuck what you say, John, I can make 205. Yeah, but you make 205 no problem, but as soon as you eat something and have some water, you're fucking 235. Yeah, but you make 205 no problem But as soon as you eat something and have some water you fucking 235 Yeah, that's the name of the game. That's the name of the game

Everyone has that here's the everybody has that Afforded to them if can't Velasquez really wanted to make 205. Yeah, I think he could he's got a lot of random ways I hope that fucking John Jones. I look I love watching a John Jones fight I love it because what he's doing. He's creating He creates the drama leading up to it with fucking rampage with Evans with Chale He does he does create this fuck you and he overcomes. He's he's won He's got here's what's great about John Jones and we've watched it. Yeah, I mean literally every fight He's evolved yeah to a point where it's like, no, no, no, like, honestly, Kormi, I could have beat John Jones two years ago.

The John Jones, like the next, it's scary where he's going to fucking be the next fight. He's going to kill Gustaf Cinnigressus and get to that. He knew though, like, watching the fight. If Kormi had knocked him out in the second round, that was it. Then he got tired after that, and Jones won the fight. He knows he's got to tire people out, and he's going to win the fight. Well, he said something that really made sense that somebody said to him. Second is a habit. That really fucking rang true. Like second is a habit.

When you come in second, you just you quit. You would a certain point. You like fuck it. And that was like, you know, at a certain point in that fight, you were like, what the fuck happened to him? Something just happened. I'll take him down. If I want to take him down a hundred times, if you follow Jones on Instagram now, he's repeating all the shit that Kovya said. What a cunt. It says, it has him fucking double-legging Kovya, Daniel.

And it says, if I want to take Jones down a hundred times, I'll take him down a hundred times. And it's just, he's literally up in the air and it's face, scared. This is definitely the best thing. And it's just he's literally up in the air and it's face. It's scary. And it's just fucking like, I don't know. Look, here's the thing to his after depressed comfort. You got this Olympian, American.

Right. You know, one of the Olympics for us as a country, you know what I mean? And you got him crying. He's a grown man. He's crying on stage. Literally. He's broken. You're broken. And he's him crying. He's a grown man. He's crying on stage. Literally, he's broken. You broke him. And he's like, I don't give a fuck.

Cause if he was here, he'd be doing the same shit to me. Yeah. He's like, I don't know. I kinda, that's what I want him to do. But I don't want him to do that because it's like, I feel like- Well, I'm watching Gengal Kormie cry. Like, I want to cry.

Cause he's so much more of a man than me that it just, it evokes this fucking reaction for me where I get like emotional like fuck dude like yeah like to watch it that tough of a guy Just fucking broken you've talked about that Mike because we went we did a gig at your old in your old They cried at the end of it because I was crying for different I was crying for different reasons. I thought there should be the one. Let's go to Plandsky Brothers and get a sandwich. No, but you said, dude, in that wrestling room, it's such a difficult program that guys

would just constantly be broken, just constantly be broken, left and right. And it was an interesting thing. The reason you left wrestling eventually, you said, you were like, dude, I wasn't going to go to the Olympics. I wasn't going to be an all-American and to put myself through. I wouldn't have made this starting line up, by the way. Can you give yourself the same speech with comedy?

Yeah. You want me to leave comedy, Bob? I'm already, I'm already basically out. So, this podcast, the only thing. This morning, I, like, when you guys called me this morning an hour before the podcast, I was like, maybe there's hope. This morning I like when you guys called me this morning an hour before the podcast I really in one of the slumps

Bobby now you want to try rescue him is shit Bobby being the rock right now I saw the rock sing sing again on WWE. Did you guys I love the rock? He is so he is so fucking He is the highest paid actor right now. Yeah, he deserves every fucking He's fucking just a specimen But ugly is there what fucking hilarious? You see his videos for what I see him all there's so focus focus Who these places am I'm sorry hang on guys just give me one second people I need a closer to me And I need a close up on well I need a double shot. I'm sorry

Okay, who who's he playing? He is playing Sir or in the show sir. So Jack says that. So jam. Damn. The Maris a jam. Kiloneel guy. Who's playing toast? No, he's hungry again. Once jam. So Sam. So I want to block over some jam. What is his? Su jam is he reviving Kil Neel's shazam? Yeah, I said the right. I'm saying I like that dummies joke was actually the right way to say it

He goes is he doing it just say shazam you said she's everyone know what shazam is yes Okay, the movie. Yeah, yeah, the film. I'm sorry film. Yeah, it's a beautiful piece The movie? Yeah, the film. I'm sorry film. Yeah, it's a beautiful piece Superheroes. Brand have such amazing voice with me with me ready shazam. Oh, I'd say with me sure Sure, let's do electric company the silhouettes ready sure The The am Shazam shazam shazam shazam don't go shaza. There's no shaza. Just that shazam. No, that was sure Shazam

Shazam shazam shazam Anyways, he's fun dude. He's saying a song. He's out in front of all these people with a guitar and he sings Eric Clapton to this fucking he's got no good. He's saying Elvis on Rita Michael and Kelly. He's so funny. He smashed it too. He did Eric Clapton. And he's like, wow, he sings great. And then it just turns into bitch. You're just ugly, right? Just fucking. Just he goes, you look like a hooker. Not be expensive. God, he's fine. I mean, Patrice used to watch that fucking shit all the time. That's one thing I

miss about Patrice. We used to Monday nights, we would wait for the rock to come out in that fucking sweater. Well, that shirt with those glasses and the belt that shitty bold had to. And he would just, I remember he did fucking triple H one night. He was just making fun of people. He was the first guy to ever be a comic. Yeah. Like really just, really just be like triple,

and he would go, triple H, what are you gonna do? And come out to the ringer. And now break ya! I was fucking hollin'. Then he did the Dolly Brothers, the one that started. He, he, he, he like pancakes. He goes, I don't, do, do, do, do, do, doesn't matter what you like.

And that's the matter from the face. That's the matter from the face. Oh, shit. Did you think he'd come on the podcast? Yeah. You think he'd come on the podcast? Yeah. The rock? Yeah. I bet we could get him on.

I could totally get more famous people on this show, if I tried, and hired somebody and became more famous myself. I would just stop. Leave it up to me, get people. He's like six people. Hold on. Hold on. I was supposed to say something.

Real dick. You were supposed to say something gay. I really would, dude. I would have to suck his dick. What the fuck are you saying? I just want to bring it up. Now he's never coming on. Someone's going to play this fucking clip form. Yeah.

So you're going to think there's a, I met him once. Yeah, we all did. He's suck his dick. I met him once too. I worked out behind him. Where'd you work out? I was at Gold's gym in Fug in California. He's made all that up.

That's what it got. He was in front of me. He was working out. He works out? He's made all that up. He's what it got. He was in front of me. He was working out. He works out the gold gym in Santa Monica, whatever the fuck it was. And he was in front of me. He's an animal. And Dawn was next to me and I looked over at Dawn and she was staring at me. She was just rubbing one out.

I'm just fucking. Oh my god. That's a mother of his child. What are you doing? I'm doing. Bob was doing the same thing. That's when he got a pregnant. They fucked it up right there.

If I fuck it, I'd let Don, I'd fuck it really, really. You have to fuck him, but you have to do it in front of me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want to let Anne Maxx. I would definitely let the rock cuckold be. 100%. Cuckold, let me that you have to suck his dick no that's not no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no when you're watching them. How do you? Really? Yeah. Is it all like that?

Oh, no, not that specifically. But I have my own, I have my hood quirk. Grant loves, what? Big women. I like fat women. Yeah, I love them. You do. You know what?

I kind of say some boys in. I just got into fat women again. Oh really? Like a big girl probably wear wear. Yeah, yeah. You turn on, you turn on. SSBB dubs. Yeah.

You like wear wear, you like fat women? Yeah. Can I say something though? I like proportionately big girls. I like pairs, you know, but I want to be pear shaped ideally, you know in the Fat women world. So does well. There's a lot of we pairs. I don't want her I don't want her body to look like home Assimson's face. Yeah, totally so I was sometimes talking about the girl and it's like if you take away their head It's just like oh this is just John Goodman's body. Yeah, I'm not like yeah. I like a proportionate fat girl, like big titties. What's the biggest you've got you had? 380.

380, last night actually. That's bigger than me. That's bigger than me and Lewis. Yeah, I know. Together. The rock, that's his last name. Not having a problem. I have problems.

Swinging out. Let me ask you a question. How did you get to it? Well, I've always had. No, the pussy. How did you get to it? Oh, I was a challenge. Did you have like a crane? Yeah. You have a friend in it? Well, I've always had. No, the pussy. How did you get to it? Oh, that was a challenge. Did you have a crane?

Yeah. You have a friend in there? Yeah, yeah. That's why I use one of those selfie sticks. Have you seen those? They have. Yeah, they have. You had to build like getting pine boards like an old mine.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So she was three eighties, a big girl. Yeah, he's big. Where are you supposed to sit something. You always had what? Oh, I always, well, I always like, I thought he was saying, how did you end up getting into big women?

I've always been like that. It's just my thing, but it's like, I've only like relatively recently been like open about it and pursuing it. How do you know she was a lady? You're a closet. I closet fat ass, but I guessed, and I'm like, you asked how bitch I'll fat you. I had to get to that.

And you knew that boy was up to go. Huge, and I can't get my dick completely hard with that exact number. I did want a number and I guessed, I'll fat you I had to get to that And you know that was a huge and I can't get my dick completely hard with that exact number So I did want a number and I guess I guess right. I mean she said my years of fat porn paid off because I guess right out of the bat Yeah, I guess three years ago. Okay, he was guessing her weight Spanish That's happy kitchen. She's the Bobby Kelly. You know, don't up, no. Where's the half a kitchen? She's the Bobby Kelly deal at Donut then. Yeah. Ah, yeah.

So, dude, so here's the deal. Yeah. You meet this girl on a, on a, on a, on a, okay, cute, but yeah. Okay, so you meet, you see, you're looking for big girls. I am. Are you putting, are you putting a weight thing in? Yeah, if you pay, you can put in like what body preference you have and then that's, yeah.

And so I feel too. What would that be? What would that filter filter be like fat as fuck yeah they didn't have that approach is what is the filter overweight as is big as they'll get so they says overweight how do you spell yeah how do you spell out yeah this is grants future wife that we're talking about it Yeah, that's fine. It's fine. I'm still like that. Oh, oh. You always go on top. You let the game on top. Yeah, I let them on top, too. Yeah, what?

Yeah, that will. On top of what? Well, that's a little bit too. Like the weight, you know, feeling that amount of weight on you, it's kind of hot, you know, because it's so much. No, it's actually physically hot. It's actually, like, 90 degrees. Did you get raped in a pig pile when you were in?

Exactly. Yeah. That's a fucking little league game. Yeah. It's some fucking really game. It was sucking you off under the pile. What the fuck did you get this? This is a lot of house. You last night. Just, you're ripping it.

What a way of playing. Can I ask you, what's a pig pile? Is that a real thing? A pig pile? You don't know what a pig pile is? No, what's a pig pile of pigs? It's when everybody, like, you win a game and everybody jumps on top of each other Okay, which I hate because I have a dog dog pile. There's a lot of white pile dog pile whatever it is

I just imagined a giant pile of pigs that he was raped and What so so so yo smash us skinny girl. Oh, yeah, yeah No, that's I've had skinny girls the whole day on time on but here's the thing so you get with this girl You meter online. Yeah, and then you hook up with her's the thing. So you get with this girl, you meet her online, and then you hook up with her. And she must be excited because you're like a skinny dude. You're in shape. Yeah, but they're used to.

I mean, the ones that are in the world, you know, are used to like good looking guys. What's in the world? How I have upgraded himself to good looking? Okay, yeah, I think you're a good looking guy. I think you're not bad looking. I used to be really ugly in fat too. You know, so I've been through it.

I think you think that maybe you lost a bunch of weight. So here we go. This is where it's lying. I know exactly where it is. Because so what you're saying is back when you were a little chunky and you couldn't get broads. Yeah. You went with some, you know, you think that I know that makes sense but that's not it.

He has body dysmorphia. He still sees himself as a fat guy so he feels sexy when he's with a bigger woman. Can you not talk to me about him in front of him? Yeah, and you're both wrong. Can you just ask him? Brant a bitch. You're both wrong. You're both wrong.

You're both wrong. You're both wrong. How strong, dudely hands on me. Let me ask you a question. Yeah, because I do like a big girl. Sure. Those are cool. How big?

I used to have a joke on my acting. You know, when I fuck, I want both my knees to touch the bed, you know. I don't want to be like an upside down canoe. All right, well, that one could be. That joke is not in the new special. I fucked up because I should have just said it and then like had some fucking, but I told you it was a joke and you guys shut down immediately. Next week, didn't?

No, we didn't. Next week on cereal. How big, how big you like? I don't care, I'll big the media. Next week on cereal. How big, how big you like? I don't care. I don't care about big. I just like proportioned. I don't care if she's 3D, but if she has little tiny titties, I was with a big girl one time. I had this acting class I was in and they hooked me up with this big, big girl with flat butt. She had a flat butt and little titties and we were like, she looked like big J. She a flat butt. She had a flat butt and little titties and we were, she looked like Big J.

She was, that's Apple body. Yeah, I don't, I don't like that shit. I don't, I took her tittie out and it was like, it was like my tittie. Yeah, I get it. Like a man titties. It was fucking awful. I still let her blow me.

But you don't get that grand, because I used to make that. No, I understand that. So what I would do is I had fucked plenty of really, really big girls. But what would get me turned on is feeling like the sexy one in that situation. No, I like that. So what I would do is I had fucked plenty of really, really big girls, but what would get me turned on is feeling like the sexy one in that situation. No, I like big, big, juicy fat titties.

I like a big tittie, you know, like a fat tittie. I don't like a stretch marky, fuck. But you know, big girls have no, I like your stretch markies. I like a big nipple. I used to like, I used to like big girls because I used to think they had more pussy to give. Like, you know, bitches have big titties

and I just thought they had more pussy and I'm more pussy. I could giant cock, I could just walk more pussy. I know what's more. What's more, what's more? What's more, what's more? Sex head. What?

More is bigger, longer birth canal. I don't know what more pussy means. Just look at what pussy means. I just want it more pussy. Yeah, what is, what know I do a pussy was I just want to Like what are they like extra pussy? I thought they had extra pussy. You'll baby, baby. Use this one How would they have more pussy in there like people the ones that had a little stomach below the stomach? Yeah, so you don't you think when into the stomach? I thought I was the pussy that term is Fupa for the kids out there

So you think like she's a fucking professional hot dog eater All you then went into her fucking Just excited by it to get Mary Poppins bag I remember I used to fuck a girl in in junior high named Kimba Slice yeah, I used to call it Kimba the way Wait, hold on you was fucking in junior high fuck yeah, I was fucking in He was 23 she was fucking six grade. Oh my God. Are you serious?

Yeah, wow. Yeah, first time ever. You started fucking in six grades? Damn man, that's amazing. I was 20. I started fucking 24. I remember I was in six, seven, was it seventh grade? 24, really?

Really? Yeah, I used to go to this, I cracked my cherry. That's a life expectancy in Haiti. Ha ha ha. I used to, that's funny, dude. I used to fuck yeah this quick my cherry. That's a life expectancy in Haiti. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Why did you why did you laugh at that? I thought it was funny I did like the fucking I liked it. No, I liked it. I liked it She's not gonna lie him but coming out at a worship of fucking volcano to get this fat bitch out like you like a tribe going Kim but I like his explanation actually here's used up to mop up your girlfriend sweat

So how you have a girlfriend now? No, no, no. So I had a skinny girlfriend and I, and I realized like, I got to a point where I'm like, I almost felt like a gay man that was like, with a woman, you're like, where it's just like, I, this isn't really what I want, this is only gonna go so far. So I have to get out and I need to just be open about it and I need to go out and do something.

You could think of it or hence to like, fat and her up. I mean, yeah, but she was like, hopelessly healthy. So, yeah, so I just had to, you wanted her to get fucking obese? I, well, not like obese, but you know, no, I don't want to I don't want anyone to do what they don't want to do And that's what I knew right like this is just like I need to find yeah other people You know so she knows that she wasn't fat enough for you. You think she knows that yeah Also really wasn't right for me otherwise it was it was more than that. It's not just

It was together two years. So it was more than that. I mean, well, we live together So so you dump her and then now you're on this now I'm on this crazy fact because I never did a sewing of I never did a sewing oats face in my life. You know, I'm ever eating oats. Yeah, I'm eating. So we know these bitches. How long? I'm going to. What the sewing oats? What the sewing oats man? I do.

I can't teach you English and fucking philosophy. You're forisms and I can't teach you everything, right? This is not community college. What happens? Will you make sense next to me? Will, it's that next week like, what does that mean? No, it's way to tell. He's over there. From now on, we'll fix next week. Yeah, so you can fucking mumbled what's so or so.

It means that, you know, you know get fucking yeah Coming to sex and yeah, get all the bullshit out of you supposed to do when you're younger Yeah, all like the sex in the bathroom when you're younger you get that out of your sister That's right. That's me. Yeah. Yeah, yeah That's no your royal roots somebody the chat we're going that's now what it means Somebody the child we're going that's now what it means You go you meet this big girl now you go to her house. She comes to you See So now you meet you go you meet this big girl now you go to her house. She comes to you So you just made it a bakery. Yeah

We actually got love actually got rom meet me behind the Wendy's after they close I want to get those those extra hamburgers they throw out They put them in the blue bags and the homeless people don't open up all the bags We're wearing a donut Meet me at meet me at the Brazilian stay-couse. Yeah. Alright, so, yeah, yeah. So you guys meet at a buffet. We meet an old country, you know.

So where you'll be at? She's gonna head under the chocolate fountain. Yeah, exactly. Mike, wake the fuck up. I'm up. I'm listening to grants Why are you here man? Debonchery. Yeah, what was that mean? Well, that's just come on well I'm a person. Yeah, all right Don't fight I got the shure your handbook

Lead me along here. Yeah, I met I'm probably leading me along here. You know, I met him. Where am I ever just? Yeah. Wearing a scratchy sniff, you're pouring mayonnaise on your face. Yeah, exactly. I'm covered in eye oil. Listen.

All right, so if you choose just a scoop of porcelain, any chance. Yeah. Holding the middle of your hair. Yeah. That's what I said. Yeah. All right. I have sex on butcher paper with such pickles.

What's butcher paper? Oh my god. Oh Jesus Christ. Oh paper, the paper, the paper. They put the juggles in the putty sandwich. Okay, you like tea just like we know now. We know. The paper with the paper.

We know what the sandwich is. We know the Barclays Center. I call it sandwich. We know Barclays. That was on you. You're saying you got that right. I call it paper. That's pretty obvious. I? I call it San Luis. We know Barclays. That was on you. You should've got that right. I call it a paper.

That's pretty obvious. I know they call it Butch of People. So here's the deal. So now you meet her. Yeah, right. So what happened? Are you excited? Yeah, I'm very excited.

She's nice. She's easy to talk to. We had a good reporter before. What is she wearing? She's seen it into it. We're in like a dress with leggings and like a short, like a prop thing. Big dress.

Big dips. Big dress. Yeah, leather jacket, one of those called a pomegranate. Yeah, she had one of those little Janet Jackson like diagonal zip jackets. She looked like a big zip. So easy, like that. She had stubby ankles and you get excited. So it's like a tarp with a zipper.

All right, go. All right, so here's the deal. She's dressed nice, she's cute. What do you do? Do you test her? Do you throw a cake on the table? Oh, I have to see if she eats. I take her for. Do you test her? Do you like throw a cake on the table? A little. I see if she eats.

I take her for ramen, first of all. Okay, ramen. A whole big bowl. Get her the big bowl of ramen. Right. She go, no noodles, just vegetables. No, she goes fuck it. No, that's the great thing.

That's why I was reading out a tractor. Her name on OKCupid is Feminist Fattie. She's straight up that she's fat. She doesn't want to be called BBW. She doesn't want to be called any of that bullshit. What do you want to be fat? Fat. Fat.'t want to be called any of that bullshit. What's your name? Fat. Fat.

Because you know, that's cool. Like, that's like that openness about it. Yeah, that's great. Guys who like fat women will like me. Okay. Okay, now you have some noodles. You get some noodles, have a couple of rolls. She's swollen, get some sodium in her.

And then we, uh, to go back to my place. You know, she, either of them, she snort them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you never own dog wash. She tied up, went off, yeah. She took about own dogwash? She tied up one off, yeah. She took about your free base. She thought you were free base the wrong. You all thought I kissed her?

Yeah, yeah. No, no, not until we got to my place. So now when you lead her back to your bedroom, do you do it with chocolates? Yeah, chocolate sannas? Yeah, yeah, actually, it's a sauce. It's a sauce lead. Yeah, I just hate it.

It's just old candy. It's fucking fun. I've a slip-and-slide set up with chocolate sauce. You just kind of, you just dive on it. Now when you, now do you have an elevator or a walk up? Thank God I'm on the first floor. Oh, so you're on the first floor? Yeah, yeah.

She said the same thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you get, so you get back to the room and you start making out. Yeah, yeah. And then you get naked. Yes. And, and, and, and, and she takes out big titties.

It was amazing. Can I ask a question? Now is she, she seems pretty secure with being fat. It's very secure. Is she just immediate, like lights on, bone clothes off, she's in like, she's in. Lights are on, every time. Super sec, because a lot of times we sleep

with heavier wind. That's the problem I've been having with some of these girls have been dating, is because they're so insecure about their fatness and it's turning me off. It's like you're covering it up, you're hiding, you think that it's you want to see the different cold skin in the inner thighs. Yes, leading to the footstretching. All the rolls, all the rolls. You want to see the truth the different cold skin and the inner thighs yes leading to the

the role of the roles you want to see those yeah the sun went well you say you leave that say a light say you like yeah it's a you want to see that Google map going from her asshole yeah exactly yeah perfectly the privacy and privacy and crevices behind a neck yeah a lot of crevices you want to see those little

nougat hanging under our armpits? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Will's right here, Bobby. He's up, buddy. I said nougat. Oh, sorry, good. Hey, so listen, so you go back, the lights are on.

She doesn't give a fuck. No, that's, that's awesome. It's fantastic. So now you, so lights on like like porn stars. Full on. So you fucking, daddy, you go down on the fan. No, no, why not? No, you're not discussed.

Hold on, why not? I can't. When she came to Chiara, I deserve it. When you came home, how long? I'm a white girl, shut up. What did you say? When you fucking try to listen to other people, I mean, just try to let fucking Mike say something. Go ahead, Mike.

When she came to Chiara, I'll out deserts. Can you cut Mike off? Yeah. Look at it, that was, that was funny. That was funny in the moment. In the moment, I was just funny in the moment. No, that was good. It was good. No, that was that was funny in the moment in the moment I'm on the spot in the moment. I'm on the spot. Thank you.

It was good. No, that was a good one. I was kidding. It was great. So, you won't eat pussy or you won't eat fat girl pussy. I'm not going to say once for all that I won't eat it, but I void fat girl pussy. Why?

I'm that level. I'm that level. That way. I think I think it's understand. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Talk at me. Friction, look at me, look at me. Look at me, look at me, look at me.

Talk to me. Friction, what, what does that mean? Because down there rubs together a lot. Right. And it gets hot. You get a little bit. And it gets hot and it gets smelling. A little bit of difference.

And the skin down there has been rubbing together. Look like break. And it's a different type of skin. It's a little coarse, it's a little blacker, a little browner. Look like breaking, right? And when you get down there, it kind of grosses you out. A little bit.

You don't like that level of it. That level of it. But this time was, you know, this was my first, like, real experience with a girl, this big there, where we really like chewing on it. Now if you have thrown up on her pussy, she would probably try to eat it, right? Right?

Depending on what hiding. I'm kidding. Yeah, yeah. I'm getting a fight design. Is that, was she shaving though? Down there? Oh, just let it go. No, it wasn't just Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is she shaving though? Down there? Oh, just let it go. No, it wasn't just like,

that's always like in between. That's great though, man. She blew you. Yeah, actually didn't, you know, fuck it. You didn't need a fuck. I just fucked. You know what, but by the third or fourth time,

like we realize that vaginal just wasn't necessary for either of us. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait the way to get my dick to hit both of them at the same time. Plus I couldn't get a hand down there because there was so much stomach. So there was nothing vaginal that was gonna happen. So, by the end it was fine, because I just had my hand in there and I was working the clip while I did. So you just finger poppin' it.

I was finger poppin' it. But I was like, I could fuck a, like the love handle. Like I mean, it's like my dick is in. You fuck her love hand. Yeah, you fucked her size. You fucking her stomach. I could fuck a stomach. That's like a joke, you know.

Yeah. You kidding me? No. So you came. Hold on Bobby, let me fuck you stomach. You can't. I'm on one second., yeah, you're kidding me. No, so you came on Bobby. Let me fuck you You can't have one second. Hey, you came came under belly button. You fucked a You know, you know, you know, the body button. No, it feels like pussy. Oh, but feel like pussy. It all feels like thank you Thank you. Really it doesn't actually especially when I'm wearing it. Yeah, it's better because I was wearing a condom when we were doing vaginal

Right, what does that feel like nothing right? Right? So now at least I got my raw dick against something that feels soft and nice and warm and yada yada yada yada at the end. And it's hot and it looks good. And like I said, this is the porn I've been watching my entire life. So now I'm there and I'm seeing it. It's just as good as you. I'm literally getting sick. What are you doing again?

I'm literally getting sick right now. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This is too bad. We need to go to the chat room real quick. Go ahead. We got a couple of things.

Derek Gato says, okay, Cupid should be renamed Oh no, Cupid after 300 pounds. Oh no. Cupid. Cupid. Cupid. Cupid. Cupid.

Cupid. Cupid. Cupid. Cupid. Cupid. Cupid. Cupid. Cupid. Cupid. Cupid. Cupid. having sex with fat women because but I won't get emotionally involved because they're gonna die soon. That's terrible. That's just mean. That's horrible.

That's really fucked up. Tommy Stevens says Grant must love precious. Okay. You're gonna end on the worst one. Yeah, sorry. I did it backwards order. That one was an idiot. Well look man, the best night one of the best I have things in sexual

experiences. And one of the, I would say the top 10 was when a Jew came in your belly button. Is that's her, that's her top 10, obviously. Yeah, but I had two big girls at the, stay on my hotel one night. And we just got out, I mean, two, they weren't fucking obese, so they were fatties.

And they had, you know, proportionate titties. And we got in the bed and they took their clothes off and they both sucked my dick and I fucked them. And it was unbelievable. And you know what, I bet it wasn't like awkward or weird too, because they're just great women. There's like so much fun. I mean, I was weird because everybody was snoring

in the room after. I had a bunch of fat septums. There's a bit of beer. There's a hibernating beer. It's just a dicker into a cave. Yeah. How's it going? Mm.

Mm. But that might be one of the biggest turnoffs on a girl snores. Yeah. That's awful. I hate it. A chick snoring is gross. I don't mind it. I don't mind that. that's awful. I hate it. It's a chick snoring is gross I don't mind it. I don't mind it. I don't mind that's it or or the little piece of toilet paper in her asshole hair Oh, well, that's very specific. I've eaten that you know

I told you that story was that we're using for the buck teeth thing I was I was fucking eating the chicks pussy once and I gummed my mouth But I had it up in the back tooth and I toilet paper nice hunk right my mouth I spit the I spit the gong out and swallow the toilet paper. He's one of them. Oh god. That's one of the most expensive things. Oh, this whole, this whole past 15 minutes

has been grossing me out. I don't want, I like that you know what you like and you're kind of going after it and it's good for, you're gonna follow your dreams. I look man, big girls to me, there's some of them. I'm look, I'm with you, there's certain things out. This is an extreme, you know what I mean? And I feel like I've let I mean if I may like I've let the pendulum I've resisted so I've let pull back so hard on it that I have to just let it go and swing all the way out as far as I

Need it to go before I can come back to the middle again You know more like who knows I don't know all I know is a buck turbelly button depend on broke It might be my big on yeah, I don't know but I'm following my day look and you know that's that for once I've never done that That doesn't look like that never been that guy, you know Big girls are fucking hot man and they're great and the great people and there's so much fun to talk to me I know they do but it's like they have to fall back on just the worst When you meet a fat gun

It is just Explode the worst human being in the world. No, I don't understand. Yeah. Yeah. But if a chick who's fat and who's like a real bitch, she gets told really early in her life, hey, you are way too gross to be that way. Yeah.

Same with the dude though. I'm sorry, you should be really fat dude and be should be cool. You know what I mean? I'm not a Lewis. Why are you looking at me? Yeah. Why?

I looked at Lewis first. All right. But yeah. But I was fat too. So I developed my personality from that too. You know what I mean, you do. But now you're giving back. Yes, exactly. Exactly.

I'm Buddhist. So, like, have you ever been with a fat girl? No, not at all. That's a no. No, I'm not. I'm like, no, you know, yeah, you have that. When you're in it, you've been with a big girl. I know all seven big girls I've been with some big girls. I've been with some big girls.

I've been with girls where I had a higher body and just with pillows. Just so her head was there and she was sucking my dick. It was just a head. But she's so about the whiz bitch, each other high. Yeah, remember that, the whiz bitch. He fucked off. He fucked some fat bitch.

I remember he had a fat bitch lick his ass hole. I almost threw up on that. Wow, that's gross. His legs over his head. I was like, he was like, I was like, why? He goes, I don't know, man. I just, I snuck in the house, right? And I was like, I don't know.

So, so, so I grabbed my phone with, I'll pretend I was on the phone. So you guys don't know, it's up. Will and, will and will and will and but he's used to live together with Jersey City. Wow. So there you go. Set that up. So, and so, I'm sorry, I, I hear them coming down, say, oh, shout, I want to live together in Jersey City. Wow. So there you go, set that up. And so I'm, so I got, so I hear them coming down, say, oh, shout, I want to see what she looked like.

I, you know, you want to see what, you know, and I grabbed my five, I got something on the phone and she was so notrocious. Hang on one second. I'm just, just everybody in the chair I remember listening. Scobo, can you say what he really meant? He meant to say atrocious.

Atrocious. Atrocious. Never, never. I like notrocious to do what he really meant? He meant to say atrocious. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Not nutritious. It's a Trochus. Natorious? A Trochus? That's actually a great word. No Trochus. I like it. I like it. So there you go. She was not a Trochus. She was that bad. She was so notatrocious.

But yeah. I, um, but I didn't want to, I went my face and we built it. Yeah. So I just kept my face and imagine if you, if you was, I'd say, yeah, huh? Hey, what's up? Yeah, huh? Yeah. So, um, that was that quick.

And Patrice called me. He called me a fucking asshole because he said You knew you want to say like yeah, she was a big the whiz bitch was big man Oh, that's why I love Patrice used to do that shit Keith You see I remember Keith. We just talked to fat bitches for practice. Yeah, like he would just go up It was a baby you can get their number and he'd be like practice motherfucker But I used to love I used to love a fucking I mean I just like to get a lot of dude I would just I would just speak no matter what the check it was like it was more than that Well, we all owe fat chick something then really well

You know you used to practice on them whether or not you know I think big girl look I'm a big guy so I can't really fucking sit here I'm just I'm just pro you know what I mean? I'm a I like I like I like I like big shapely big girls. Yeah, yeah And I think women out there should have confidence at that there and by the way we're we're really making fun of oh I know I know I know I know I know we made fun of her a little bit Yeah, fuck that rubbish, but it's really about you know funny over everything. I mean obviously look here's a deal It's all fun, but it's really bad. Yeah, it's not funny over everything. I mean, obviously, look, here's a deal. It's all in fun, but yeah. I think there a big girl with confidence

who doesn't give a fuck. Sexy. You cannot find that sexy. It has a fucking sexual male. Yes. If you're a sexual at all, that's gonna turn you on a little bit, we're like, I'm a fat bitch, but I'll suck the shit out of you dick.

And when we fuck, you're gonna fucking love it. I mean, you can't, that type type of confidence you can't not be turned on by that you know um so I I love it that you're doing that anybody yeah it's good I mean it's I mean I hope something like there's there was something that happened somewhere along the lines that made you be a trap but it was like there's a proportion there. Yes, but you gotta go further than that because it wasn't some adolescent thing.

I mean, this is literally the first sexual impulse was towards that. So this is probably, anything is probably, it's probably edible if anything, if you really want to get into the psychology. Your mom's edible? Edible.

Your mom will, don't even try to eat. Oh boy, here we go. Don't do it. Edipus. Edible, that means eating. Whatever whatever I the psychology of it goes deep I know I have to whatever I just I think it's fucking great. I'm mental. I get it. I get it. It's it's uh, it's uh It's just your thing man. It's not as you know, I mean you have your thing. Yeah, what's this thing? I think any girl to though becomes look any, any human, when you, I mean, girls too,

there's no such thing as, I think there's compatibility with another human being, whether it be a woman or for them men, but because sexuality, that thing goes away. You're gonna not wanna fuck her or some hot bitch or athletic, that just goes away. You can find something wrong with anybody, but it's that compatibility that, you know,

I just like being around, there's something about you that I can overlook your mole or your fatness or whatever the fuck it is, you know, your one eye's bigger than the other, your fang tooth, you overlook that shift on some people for some reason, it just doesn't bug you. But on other people, it's like, I can't fucking stand your fucking eye.

But on a purely sexual level though, because you're talking about more or less like getting into a relationship and just kind of going on a long-term thing. On a very sexual relationship, or on a very sexual level, I feel like what's going on there, whether it's an edible thing or if it's something that happened in your adolescence

or whatever it is, it definitely is like a defect or a perversion or something off the norm. Yeah. Because typically that's not what you would see. Typically you see a healthy person and you're attracted to that because- So that's like Per the Files? What? Per the Files. He heard of Edipoll again. No, no got a point. Pedophiles are not the norm. Right. Yes, actually 100%.

I think it goes in levels like a perversion. Like if you take a Christian dude, like a super religious Christian dude, him just fucking is chick doggy style and him seeing her as whole, might just drive him up like, oh my God, that's this crazy perverse crazy thing for him. But that kind of what gets him going

and it's just a different level. For me, it was kind of like the idea of fucking a check within 15 minutes of meeting her. Yeah, that idea was very like that Would always really get me going or not knowing your name that would like really it was that would just kind of like that that perversion Stringes. Yeah, fucking stranger. Yeah, I was called Lewis. Thank you. I appreciate Look man. I literally stopped listening to you three minutes I'm sorry, dude. I can't believe I put that guy on that long. Nobody's hypnotized me. He just did this like an ass-be-sheet.

It's like he tries to take over but nobody listens. I was thinking about how to do today. I was literally thinking about nine other things. I realized he was still yammering. I'm like, I have to end the podcast because this bell buckle is cutting my stomach over right? You guys have about the playing that crash and that little girl walked about a mile to find safety. I saw that.

Do you see the end of that shit? That's what it is. Last week, the playing crash killed the mother, the father, the sister, and then she pulled herself out of the wreckage and walked in the pitch dark to a freaking house a mile away with Bayer-for-the-short, just go, they came from Florida. I'm dying to see how you're gonna work this in the fucking

fact. Yeah, the fact that you don't know a segway, the fact that you're literally wrapping up the show with his boring fucking speech that he fucking emphasized. Of course, now you're bringing up a fucking tragic Fuck her There's only three houses in that with that plane crash and she was on the wrong way She would be walking how old is she she's seven years old or something like that. That's not even impressive

I look you went three. This is some tragic shit. You're bringing up Well, she said five. Well, dude. I gotta go I got shit to do man. We're two hours into this. Why don't you bring that shit up at the beginning? There's no wrap-up clock here Bobby. This is him talking my stomach hurts Well, then you should put a clock on it so we can see that time to go Flavor flavored stomach clock. Listen man. I can't talk about a plane crash. I didn't know that about you, Grant, though. That's pretty interesting. I think it's really interesting. Yeah, I've only become open about it more recently. Good for you. I'm talking about it on stage.

That's great. I'm okay with it. But can I ask you a question? Can I ask you a question? When you talk about it? I don't know if I'm alone on this, but it turns me on when the chick gets turned on. That's what does it for me.

Oh, that's what turns me on. That's what turns me on. Yeah, yeah. I have that kind of problem. The girl getting turned on. I have that kind of problem. I have that kind of problem. I have that kind of problem. I have that it for me. Oh, that's what the chick gets turned on. Oh, yeah, that's what turns me on. That's what turns me on. Yeah, yeah.

I have like the girl getting turned on. Might get hot. That's good. You guys are compassionate. That's got, you know, it's good. Hold this. Hold this. Hold up.

Hold up. Bobby's trying to turn it. I don't know. I don't know. Hey, man. Hey, man. Hey, man. Hey, man. Hey, man. Hey, man, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I thought somebody's fucking following me. I will now. I had to fucking undo my belt.

It was killing me. I have to get like a soft belt buckle. They make them work. I was thinking about you three more years ago. What is it? He's not wearing the belt. He used to wear years ago. You know, you got to step up.

I can't agree. Any more tragedies? No, but I agree with you, dude. It's if I used to girls just always say, what turn, what do you like in a girl? I just like a chick who likes me. Yes. If you dig me I don't care. I like you. You took all the bullshit away And now I can just fucking we can hang out and kiss and fuck around and do whatever Just like me. That's it. You got to make me I don't know if you like me or you like me And then you don't like me and fuck that shit. A chick goes into you?

Oh man. There's nothing hot in that. There's nothing hot. I remember I was out front one day at the seller and this fucking girl just comes up out of the thing and just comes over to me and grabs my ass, grabs my hand, puts it on her ass and goes, I fucking love you.

Oh, do I want to fuck the shit out of you? Sober enough, she goes, I know it's fucked up. I'm just telling you the truth. I don't want to even fucking beat around the bush. My dick literally good, instant heartbeat. Just, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. I was like, oh, this is exact. And it's not like her, like, oh, you like a girl

being a slut, no. I like it, I don't, if she was walking up to it, fucking everybody, she liked me, walked by God- walked by God free walked by Steve burn walked by a bunch of fucking stallions She might have also been racist You make a fucking I'm Black man, black guy, black guy, I'm fucking, I'm bored of like some moans. You have any?

Alright, anyways guys, I hope you have a good luck. I hope you meet a big girl. Thanks man. Will you bring her on the show? Sure. Alright, we'll have like a podcast pig roast. Nothing? Alright, where was that movie?

There's no food up here. Where's the movie? A lot of the slides? Dogfight? Remember that movie? No food up here. What was the movie? A lot of the slides? Dogfight? Remember that movie? Which one? Dogfight, where they had whoever got the ugliest chick in the broader, they played the army dudes.

And whoever got the ugliest chick they won't like a cash prize. Yeah. That's the whole premise of the movie. You meet the chick and it brings the people's love with her though. And I'm saying we should do that. Yeah. I don't... Yeah. What's going on there playing crash?

What's going on there playing crash? Like, just, what the fuck man? Just, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, Mike, anything? Muscle confusion, my CD is out, please buy it. Okay, cool. Great, yeah, go get it. Where is iTunes? iTunes, yep. Awesome. That's it.

That's it. Jesus Christ, Mike. Oh, I'm also on the, um, fuck, the Richipiro uh, Parkinson's, Oh good, man. There's three shows. I'm at the one at, uh, come to any of them now. I'm at the one at, uh, stand at New York.

Yeah, give it up. Uh, he, Mike is one of the funniest motherfuckers around. Yeah. Um, what do you got, Lewis? Guys, there's only two podcasts, by the way. You can only play two shows. Guys, follow me on Twitter. You can check out all my other podcasts at LewisJ Gomez.

And then I'm kidding. Go ahead. You can go. Also, guys, go check me. Me and Dave Smith are co-headlining January 24th, 25th in Toronto, Comedy Bar, and Puff Mamas, Comedy Underground up there. So go to to my website gomascomedy.com check that out Also ship rocked people There are still haven't available if you guys are interested in coming on the boat legion of skanks will be there this year

February 2nd through 5th ship rocked porting out of Miami to the Bahamas So check us out on that and then you stop doing that because it's literally going to stop that. Yeah. Scrums. Scrums. Scrums. Scrums. Scrums. Scrums. Scrums. Scrums. Scrums. Scrums. Scrums. Scrums. Can we beat Bucks under everyone else's credits? Yeah. No, good. Well, what do you get I don't know if I've yet Comedy works and Baltimore this weekend Freestyle it I'm gonna do my stuff, I'll talk on no music. I'll talk on, I'll talk on, I'll talk on, I'll talk. You just say, I'll talk on no music. I'll talk on, I'll talk on.

I don't, I'll talk on. We're gonna be, I'll talk on. I'll talk on, I'll talk on. I'll talk on, I'll talk on. I'll say, I'll talk on. I'll talk on. I'll talk on. I'll talk on.

I'll talk on. I'll talk on. I'll talk on. I'll talk on. I'll talk on. I'll talk on. I'll talk on. I'll talk on. I'll talk on. I'll talk on. I'll talk on. and also man, any prayers man, my brothers in the hospital. So, yeah man, everybody listen and really follow on Twitter, send them some nice vibes.

I'm sorry about your brother dude, I'm glad you came today. I hope you know, doing this, you know, sometimes you laugh and you can forget about it for a second. You know, I really a terrible man, it sucks. So, I'll be thinking, you need me for anything, let me know, all right. Thank you man, thank you.

If I can't do it, you could go to Scopal first. Yeah, then come to. You know what what actually, you know, actually go to Mike And if Mike can't do it, I'm kidding. Whatever you need buddy. Yeah, man. What do you got brother? Fetch it. Ah We get a coffee shop on Saturday night for a fact check. All right, sure Don't don't a thing. Don't a thing. I have a sweet at the donut pub. You could come up I have a sweet at the donut pub you could come up there. Sweet. Sweet.

I rented the back file later. Just for you, honey. He's going to make you donut until you've done it. The conveyor belt goes upstairs into the directly into the room. Yeah, so I weekly show in Williamsburg and Brooklyn, Sac Magic, co-hosted with my boy, Louis Katz, live fun. Live fun. And then just on Twitter, go Grandcourt and yeah.

Thanks buddy, thanks for coming on. Thanks for having me, man. What do you got, what do I have? So the special, let's just do this. Tomorrow night, if you listen in live, it's me doing unmasked with Ron Bennington at the stand. That's Tuesday night. And then Friday night, the special airs, Robert Kelly live from the village on the ground

at the village on the ground. So make sure you go watch it on Comedy Central. It's Saturday night, 12 o'clock. It's gonna be fucking great and do me a favor. Spread the word, tell your friends. Get everybody together, hashtag it, do some fucking shit. Do a Instagram a lot of it. Instagram it, make sure you put YKWD.

Yeah, well Robert Kelly, well, yeah, this is my thing. This isn't a YKW. Well, I was gonna do it with the podcast and get more followers. It's Robert Kelly. Yeah isn't a YKT. This is going to do it with the podcast. It's Robert Kelly. Yeah, stop trying to suck podcast. This is about me. Not about us. I just thought of it as you know. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. So make sure you check it out and then go to robbercatedlive.com, watch the trailer and check out, you can pre-order the the the the hours. It's a bunch of stuff. So please a lot of people today have already ordered it,

a lot of fans, I'm getting messages here, you know, people have already bought it, which is awesome. And there's a trailer up there and you know, thanks for actually, you know, people are actually paying more than the $5 donation. They're actually a lot of people doing $10, which is actually really fucking sweaty you guys, but you don't have to do that. $5, so check it out, robacadolive.com. What else do we have any other gigs? Yeah, January 23rd, I mean fourth, even if you have bananas and has work heights.

Love that club, Jersey. January 31st, the Cadbury Theater in Millhegan Sun. Yes, out of there. Oh yeah, Louis's gonna be there. That's a real, February. Louis Gomez. Louis J. Gomez. Louis Gomez, we Jay Gomez Louis Gomez

Jay Louis Jay Gomez Gomez That's the aquapoke over here. How you got we don't that would that yeah, we're done with that you're right come on February 21st Uncle Vinnie's in Ramaday Fairbridge East Hanover New Jersey. That's enough. Yeah, that's right. So go robbercat alive calm Hey, and what do you got, Deepu? I got nothing. Just follow me on Twitter at r2dpu2e is one you.

Check him out, man. He is the fucking mastermind. He is the Wizard of Oz of this fucking podcast. Oh, thank you. So make sure you check him out. Do you have any questions? You can email him where? depu.gill.com.

The edg email. Right. And scuffle, what do you got besides a dumb head come on you fucking alcoholic nose that's actually uh... scope of the news and it's gonna grow creators over the years

fucking huge i would take my nose my nose and break it down and make it unfunny Let me explain what Bobby said with more detail and unfunny. Thank you chief I get you just leave You know what just leave What else you get city arms? Give me on Twitter at Chris Twitter and see him at LOL when he lies to people

Skopper you being honest with people? Rob Williams is going to be hit. No, I don't. They get mad at me when they go up. Like, oh, Dave should pel- No, there's no Dave should pel. By the way, you see the collective sadness when this is the last comeback. And then whoever it is, you see everyone go, oh.

All right, so check it out, man. You guys are the best fans in the fucking world. Spread the word about the podcast. Keep listening. And you guys are the best fans in the fucking world spread the word about the podcast Keep listening and you guys are awesome. Thanks for showing up guys. You know what? Listening to the YKWD podcast Thanks for listening Now go back to your shitty jobs Check out riotcast.com for all the best podcasts on the internet Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincindia aventuras desperan.

¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. Ajetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com.