Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Calama-ray

Episode Date: February 15, 2016

This week on YKWD:  We have Sean Donnelly, Sean Morton, Stavros Halkias and Zac Amico! A true heavyweight classic! Things get savory as we joke about food and dining rituals. Plus, Bobby gets concerned that some filmmakers downstairs might paint him in a bad light. Watch / Listen and Enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 grados. ¿Yos escucha a Robert Kelly? ¿Y qué es, dude? En la network riotcast.com. ¡Vacen a la cuesta podcast de la planita!

¿Es una costa de paz? ¡No hay no rues! ¿Qué es mi gas? To the 40th podcast on the Planet Birds. This is gonna be a cost-defying. It's not a podcast. It's no rules. What are the mic-ass hole? I'm sure I've already said, should I regret it? Can I get a microphone? Oh, what the fuck? That was trying to keep it like a comic-ass.

I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down, and sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's 10 no topics, no directions. I love doing it. Play both sides to the coin The day my podcast is popular I might affect somebody's life. You never know Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, a podcast that's a fetish. The fat cast baby. Fat cast Bob Kelly's bear den. This is the bear den. The bear den. Oh my god. Well you know first of all let's let's let's go around the room. We

got some guests in tonight. Some fans are here watching live at the studio. So let's, can we dim some of the, this is real bright, it's ghostly and I hate it. What do we got? Hi. What's your name, buddy? I'm John. That's what John what? I'm John, I'm auto.

You don't need to give a shit last name. You just be John, you don't need to give a shit. On the white right, ask me. We need to do that. I know why, because I'm used to doing it for comics. That's what John what? And you're just John, you're just John. John, John yes. Yeah, comics I'm used to do that. No, I can't. I'm used to doing it for comics. John what? And you're just a John. You're just John.

John, John yes. Yeah, comics are me used to doing it. Now, who is Carlos Mincea? What's up, dude? Hi, my name is Go. Kill what? Bro, I'm kidding. Don't do that.

We just went over. What's up, but how you doing? I'm good. Well, now you're Mexican? Yeah, Mexican. No, shit. That's just in Mexico. All right, that's so funny that you,

what are you white the whitest of white lesbian not you dumb dumb oh can you get out of the way please the dumbest person I know at me why would I say what I know what you are what are you Italian no shit what is all this hillbilly stuff I thought Italians you know right now well it is by I hate that Oh, you're a hipster. You got a beard. You're not a hipster. You that beard is what I'm from Brooklyn So I get that too much really what why now why a beard like that my friend. I just only shape really okay?

Well, there you go. That's a good answer. Speaking of not shaving. Hi There is Santa Claus himself Let's go around the room. Scopo introduce everybody starting over here with Zachy, baby. All right, we got Zach Amico. Hey, buddies. Buddy, how you doing? Doing great, happy to be here. How you doing, buddy?

How's your crazy life going? I follow you on Instagram and I get a little worried sometimes. Why, Bobby? I don't know, I just see blood and people and parties. And it's your cat. I just have a good time. All right, just as long as you're having a good time dressing up as a lot of crazy shit and then

party. I like the Ursula. Thank you very much. That's a great one. What's Ursula? Oh, I dressed up and I did a cabaret show and I was Ursula from the Little Mermaid. We should do an Ariel, Ursula cosplay. Ooh, I'll be Ariel.

Oh, I'll be Ariel. Yeah, come on. Come on. Get out of here, baby. You can be the. Oh, I'll be area. Yeah, come on, come on. Get out of the way, baby. You can be the prince. You can be the enjoy. All right, Stavros Baby's in the house. My little baby son, my baby boom, my little boy.

My little fucking Musaka. That's me. How you doing, buddy? Good, how are you? I'm good. I love the headphones match your fucking ghetto out from 1989. You have a piece of cardboard with you? I do. I'm break dancing. I'm just trying of cardboard with you. I do I break dancing

We're in a letterman jacket, but we know he doesn't play sports I could be a football player I play no tackle. Thank you. I give it here. We all have defensive lineman body I love offensive lineman body. It's all gonna die. This is what I love about this show. As soon as the first person that bombs always doesn't want it. Take that, take fucking on it.

Oh, that was actually pretty good. Yeah, I'm good at fucking receiving it, too. Trust me, we'll be back over on this mic. Fucking stand in a second. So welcome. And you do dress like you maybe dip into a salvation army bin once in a while. I love salvation army. I love the thrift store.

There's no worse feeling than going to a thrift store and seeing another fat guy with glasses in the women's sweater section. That's when I get so upset. Well, I'll just go ahead and do it. I don't even get it. I don't even think it wasn't exactly a joke, but no one reacted to it. So I felt like you just were all quitting on me. I don't even get it. I don't even think it was an exactly joke, but no one reacted to it, so it felt like you just were all quitting on me. I don't know what happened. So I'm gonna send something, you know what I mean?

I really can't relate, so I'm sorry. All right, who else we got here? I wanted some nice stuff. I mean, if Sean Donnelly back, how you doing? Oh, hello, everybody. How you doing, buddy? I'm really excited to be here. We just had a little fucking thing downstairs, me and you.

Yeah, we were filming for a documentary. Yeah, I'm gonna talk about that in a second once we introduce everybody But it kind of got you know, I got a little fucking fuck you with We'll talk about it. All right talk about it You just got a little you know, she tried to make me some shit. She tried to pull that shit with me We'll talk about it. Okay, we have first time guest, Sean Morton. How you doing? What's up buddy?

How are you doing? I'm fantastic, how are you? Good buddy, we worked here. Where do we work together? In Jersey somewhere. In Jersey. And just let you know that this is the way Sean looks. He's not dying.

He's not hot from being walking upstairs. He's looked like this for the last fuck, since he's come to the cellar, that's the way he looks. He looks like he's about to have a heart attack. Yeah, I'm not. Yeah, I mean, you can literally take any piece of paper right now and stick it to his point. Yeah.

Right now, put that right on his forehead, push it, now, and stay. Yeah. Yeah. That is true. That is so pre-diabetic or... I had to get it in my god. Mom, of course we got D-Poo, the fucking, the madman behind the computer.

And everything's set. No one's gonna step on anything. Nope. We're gonna have a full show this week. A full show? Great. And in the last show we did, some fucking literally, the fucking switch that will shut everything down was on the floor by people's feet. Scoples, which is extra dangerous. Exactly, it's the dumbest flip of the world. I just moved and I just shut down the whole show. Well, because it's a fucking, it's you, it's a cloud.

And did you hit it? God, yeah. I hit the off switch. Literally, God gave you hair and an ass and a temple. It took away everything. Every around. Yeah. All right.

I'm making it work. Hair and ass and a temple. All right. And then of course, we got the Scopo, my producer and my gorgeous Kelly, Tupono, who literally every week, Kelly, I mean, Lauren. You find that stuff about her. She let's do it. She really is just fun. I mean, it's like the pussy's big.

It's literally a bit hard. I have a shaved it. It's sick. Hairy box. It's like I want nothing to do with you. Literally. I want, I never want, if I had to like do CPR, mouth to mouth on your pussy. I thought you die if I had to go near your Whatever you do audition with that

But it blowed her pussy need CPR Rick Robert They wouldn't turn to you for the CPR Deep who in hell if you blew into a pussy her fucking tits would get bigger If you blew into a pussy her fucking tits would get bigger. Anyways, okay, so we're here, some of us are queer and I'm not just you. And we're fucking big. I'm so glad you have a big guest too. I'm a Mexican.

I mean, but you know, a lot of Mexicans are chubby, right? Yeah, I've never seen a Mexican with abs, have you? Is that too much? Kelly Rip is husband, I think has. Yeah, Mariela has. But he only has four, he doesn't have six, they never get six. They always have that little taco belly down the bottom.

Yeah, well we downstairs we're doing this fucking, I want Liz to come up here. Can you please text Liz on my phone or text or have a number? You know, I'm doing this documentary and it's supposed to be, you know, an interview and then a little piece of a set, which I'm like, okay, cool. I really don't want them to have new stuff, you know, but I'll give them old shit. I don't give a shit. And then I'm fucking myself there too because people are gonna see me do old shit and be like, hey, I was written a fucking joke and it's like, I can't do a new shit because I don't want to give, put, I don't want to give true

TV my new stuff. Right. And then, you know, so I'm sitting out there doing these interviews and it's a fucking, whatever, they're cool people, they're nice and you know. So what's the, what's the problem? It's a documentary about the seller, okay? And they have me do it, which I'm, you know, that's cool, I love the seller, and I'll talk about it, I love talking about the seller, but then it's like, okay, now you want some of my sat, it's like, what, I shit, this is my fucking problem.

I don't say no, I don't stick up for myself, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, I don't have to say no to fucking anybody because I was some fucking weird abuse shit as a kid. I don't know what the hell it is, but I can't say, hey, no, I don't wanna do that. I don't wanna do my set. I, well, you can interview me and I'm out. I have shit to do and they, like, everybody else.

Yeah. Everybody else, right? So then I go and, and, and, and, and, and, and Judd Apatol comes in and he wants to go up after before me. Which and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and look I go Liz, I go come on, so I go in and I go, Judd can I please, you know, go up next, I just do five minutes, you go right up, I'm done. Yeah, sure, no problem. And then, you know, Liz is sitting there like looking at everybody like, what?

And the camera, they come over because they want to get the scoop or some shit. And I'm like, oh, you got to be kidding me. So then I sit down with you, I go, look, I'm going to sit down so you don't talk shit about me now, you know what I mean? Go just joking in. Look at me, John, Judd is the sweetest fucking guy. Sweet guy, humble guy, talented, the fucking full boat

this guy has, okay? And he really does, man, he's just a nice, I mean, all around, nice guy, you know, and we're talking whatever, and then I unplug my mic and they're like, can we film? I go, I go no you can because he doesn't want to be filmed I don't you know I I said an interview you know what I mean now you want table now you want me walking down the street Now you want me walking downstairs. It's like I didn't degree to do it better when you're walking upstairs I think they wanted it because you're one of the guys.

Okay, fine. But you know, I would guess, but that's not your problem. Don't use me to get the fun. Then I come out and she goes, she goes, we just have to ask you a couple questions. I go, all right, great, I gotta go though. Let's do this. Because I have you guys up here waiting. And she goes, so how does it feel when you get, you know, when somebody like Judd, when somebody like that doesn't say his name comes in, because she can't say his name, because she can't use it.

When he comes in and, you know, wants to go on and bump, she made me into the fucking bump guy. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And she goes, I'm not trying to, I go, yeah, you are. You really, you really are trying to start some shit. But just let's go, come on. It's like you're trying to make me, you're trying to get, you're trying to, now you have an angle that famous guys come in and bump guys like me. So me, you took me off whatever pedestal you had me on as a fucking comedian to do this for you

and you fucking made me some guy that gets bumped. Yeah, you get bumped by Judd. Yeah, that happens. You fuck. But now it's some thing in your documentary and how do we deal with that? It's called fuck you. You deal with it.

Yeah, you could have done that with numerous other people. And I with somebody like me. You know with numerous other people. And I didn't get bumped. I went up. I asked, I talked to Judd and I said, look, I just want to do this, man. Fuck. Never again, my life. Fucking, you know. You got to say no.

I do the same thing. I grew up the same way. Say yes to everything. People, please. Never again. I think you grow Catholic. I think it's a Catholic thing. No, I got molested, though.

That's a Catholic thing, too. No, I didn you go Catholic I think it's a Catholic thing. No, I got my last did though I didn't give my mother's go and he never got my last Did he is that why he's like that? He likes stepping his bum You mom a chimney sweep from England? Fuck you shit. That's my quiet dog. I didn't think that was my friend. He said bomb. Yeah, I liked it as bomb. Yeah, but I didn't.

Could have the dog you fucking assholes? Okay, he's crazy. Don't bully him. Stop fucking off switch mother fucker. I really don't like that you can't take it. I'm fake man, I don't give a shit. I know what fake man is, we're all fat guys. We're going to the moon, I get it at that zone. We all do fake man.

Why I oughta? So anyways, yeah, it was fucking bullshit. What up? Don't fucking hand this to me. You're handing me a drugs under a table. He's handing me the bomb and I'm like, we're just very delicate. I don't want it. You're all forgetting.

I know it. You're really just snapping on me. Do you need to talk to? Is everything alright? I'm trying to bring some energy. Do you need a candy bar or something? Oh, who's that? Who's that?

Who's that? I'm okay. Come on. I'm okay. I'm gonna say I'm a little claustrophobic in here. Why? That's a weird way of saying horny. I love that every time everybody laughs at the fucking tits

and stomachs jiggle. Jiggle. Everybody's fault. Did you get this in here? Can we get this on slow mode just like? Yeah, I know. Right, shots. So anyways, I wanted to have this podcast.

I know I'm gonna call it a fat cast. The fat cast. But, you know, all you guys are, I know you guys, all you guys, and I know, of course, Zach, from, you know, the real estate podcast and coming on my show, me and Chubb Tits over here have done literally became friends eating. That's true literally. Yeah, Korean barbecue.

We were in Korean barbecue, honey pig, and we would eat until we couldn't eat. Yeah. And eat more. And yeah, when in Boston, I had to tap out and you two were like, no, we're still gonna eat it. That was like, Jesus. Yeah, where was that? We went to that place. No, we went to the North end. No, we went to the North End. We went to the North End.

We went to the Italian food. Oh my god. That food was delicious and I tapped out. We had a full Italian meal just for starters. Uh-huh. For apps. Literally, I'll tell you, we went to Lafamille Joe Joe's where I used to work.

If you ever go to Boston, you go to the North End. It's the only Italian neighborhood that has just stayed. You know, like even in New York City. New York has gone. Yeah. It is fucking Italian food. And it's Lafamille, Georgia. They give you a pound of pasta with every meal. And that's the small meal. And I went there, the same guy owns it, Al.

You know what I'm saying? Al. Well, I'm still scared of. Oh yeah, I remember he walked in the kitchen one day. So the cooks come running out, the guy's throwing fucking plates as his head. You motherfucker, you cock suck, you talk back to me, you fuck. And the guys run out of Bobby, learn to be a boss. I tried.

Well, it didn't bomb. You gotta chuck those, because nobody likes me. Like that. I, uh, scopo left the hardest. And I bombed, so. So anyways, we, um, yeah, we went there, we ate there, then we went and got, then we got a rice ball. No, we got, you got anonoli's. You got anonoli's.

Anonoli's? Anonoli's? And they forced me to eat anonoli. But that was, anonoli. We were all, he just, fucking loser. We got anonoli. He salted my food. Absolutely. We got three different kinds of canolies, believe oh at that Mike's place. Yeah, no both is both is I think it's both is bakery We can only in milk. I got a whole milk. I got a little part of whole milk. Yeah, I'm gonna wash it down

Then some some kind of pudding is that right? We had a lot of food Right? Is that right? We ate a lot of food. Tato, you've eaten. It's a gag all the time to food that you've eaten. We're eating dessert from a bakery, from a box on a mail box.

You put a mail box in there. Yeah. I'm like sweating because I can't eat anymore food. That's like when guys do heroin in a phone book. That's exactly it. Well, we ate so much. And then I mean, Sean, I mean, I've seen you eat. And then this is why I love you,

because Sean will get a fucking, he'll get a meal at the seller and it comes with a fucking big, fwap and play the match with Tato's. He eats match with Tato's, like it's the fucking 18th century. Like that's all we got. Like he, he, he just worked.

I'm a settler trying to survive. Yeah. I mean, I'm, and he eats them and it, they just go on. It's like you figure, you know, I, you take a couple bites of mashed potatoes and you tap out this fuck will eat them. And they give you a giant plate of mashed potatoes

as the seller. They give you a giant plate of potatoes at the seller. They give you a giant plate. Everybody else gets a normal plate of fucking Santa Claus gets a fucking... He's gonna be delivering gifts, sort of. And of course, you, my friend, we met at a gig, but where I started following you, and actually, first one, number one, you, how am I gonna say this, you look like Dom Delewis.

I look like him. You remind me of Dom Delewis. That's not a bad thing. No, he's probably one of my favorite comic actors of all time. Okay. I usually get Chaz Bono. That's my intro on stage, is that your chance of doing it?

You know Dom Delewis, I mean, I get that. That's actually really funny, but Dom Delewis, you have the same face, eyes and you do a lot of videos on your YouTube channel, on your Facebook channel, which I actually watch a lot of, and there was one where he, it's Thanksgiving, and he's literally going around the table and he's introducing the plates, and this is big. Can you just tell us what you had? Don't tell us, just tell us what you had? No, tell us what you had. We did the turkey and the spiral ham and the wild rice potatoes, the broccoli

raw, the sausage bread, the pumpkin bread, the sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, and various other things. There's literally around 27 things on a table. And on the other table. And then he goes, it's for the three of us. His mother, his wife, and him. And I was like, they're trying to kill him. Like, they're literally trying to murder this fucking tubby son of a bitch from Jersey. I mean, I don't have a fight in chance.

Well, is your rest of your family, are they bigger as well? Or are they? Well, it's just me and my mom, but, you know, yeah, we're all big. I was open. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I always been big, so. I mean, I watched that video and I was like, oh, that's fucking, I mean, God, that's it.

That's it. That's fantastic. It was fucking fantastic. Well, here's the, I haven't had, okay, I had a Christmas Eve and Christmas day I cheated, okay? But since that, the day after Thanksgiving Until now I haven't had sugar or carbohydrates or grains at all, all right? And not intentionally like once in a while there's a piece of corn or something or

Some like ketchup, but you know, you know, you forget that I'm sugar and a blah, blah, blah. But that's basically, I'm back again, and I've been working out and blah. But it's a motherfucker to, I'm looking around the room at all these fucking bodies that are distorted. I mean, seriously. Well, you look around the room, and I mean, we're all, I mean, I get, I mean, this, well, you know, you look around the room and I mean we're all, I mean, I get I mean this is my question

I'm trying to make it cry by the way, is this an intervention for all of us? It's like 1200 pounds and it's the Slater That's the problem right there this horse shit I think you all look great Yeah, cuz you don't give a fuck You also don't believe it. You don't. Yes.

Try the view from under one of us. I feel like that. No thanks. Yeah exactly. See? You're a bullshit. Look at that bullshit. It's all a fucking lie.

I'm first supposed to say, I was like, maybe she means it. I was like maybe she means But I will say you have been doing a very good job. Yeah, but okay, fuck you again You do look like I told you that you lost a bunch I think you just brought us here to tell us how great you Feel better about The rubber Kelly whale Is actually intervention

Yeah, because I've tried that no sugar is thing. That's that it's fucking hard as shit, dude. I'll tell you what's harder than no grains for me. Because I don't give a fuck. I think sugar is harder than grains. I'm telling you what I think, but if you want to jump over what I did it, I could have been last year.

Yeah, I did it for about a month and a half and it lost like 30 pounds. Okay, it lost 30 pounds in his ass. That was the left cheek. Just a few. I'll tell you, I mean, I'd like to pounds. Okay, you lost 30 pounds in his ass. That was the left cheek. Just a few. I, it's, I'll tell you, I mean, I'd like to go around the room. What is your favorite food that you can't give up? What's the mother fucker for you?

I'll tell you what, Bobby, I actually gave up rice, bread, pasta, soda, and potatoes as of New Year's, and the one thing is pizza's killing me. It's killing you. The bread. Yeah, it's the bread Oh pizza's a tough one because not only do this pizza is it bread? It has the cheese in the sauce So it has the sweet and the salty Oh, this is we're getting into it We're getting into it on this one

If you're standing on the microphone right now Yeah, if you're a person that can actually push food away You might want to go fucking tune this one out. Go get on a treadmill, fucking cock soccer, goes. You won't relate to this next five minutes. Five minutes, fucking out. I don't know. Bobby, I dreamt the other night that I ate pizza

and I woke up crying. Really? Like, when an addict dreams that they fucking went back to drugs, that's what I thought was totally. This is in his room sleeping, going like this. I'm like, why don't I just do a visual joke on your part? Like, I can't get this.

I'm just doubling down. I'm like, I like to eat, you get mad at yourself. Yeah. Fuck, did you do a visual joke? If I could try to be honest. I mean, pizza, man, I'll tell you, I'll tell you the one thing about pizza. And this is why pizza's tough.

It's quick, it's easy, it's cheap, it's salty, it's sweet, it's filling. Okay, so when you're trying to stuff emotions, people don't realize that when you have something that fills you, like a beef stew. Alright. How long since? How good is a fucking dinty more? beef stew. All right. Like a stew. How good is a fucking dinty more? Oh, homemade beef stew.

I mean, God, or a slice of pizza. You have a slice of pizza or two. I'd say two. Two slice of pizza. You can't say two. If you can do one slice of pizza, I don't know you. I don't know who that person is. No one does one.

I don't even give a fuck if I just date. I'm doing two sites. I might not fucking down the second size, but I'm fucking I'm doing two. I haven't done four in like seven minutes before I got here. You had four sizes and like seven minutes. At Ben's right there? No, at home.

Oh. He made it. He made the pizza. He has a fucking pizza over in his house. He just bought every Elios box at the supermarket. You had pizza at your house? Yeah. Like from when?

Well, we ordered it. From tonight? From a good place. From tonight. Yeah, yeah. So you ordered pizza tonight, and there was, did you order it? What did you order?

When you order pizza, I want to know what you ordered. It's the large pepperoni. Large pepperoni. How many do you, what is it, your wife have? Like two. Two, right? Three at the most. Three at the most. I what is your wife have? Like two, two or three. Three at the most. Three at the most.

I'd fucking slap my wife's hand if she went for three. You fucking bitch. You don't want other people to eat your food. Me and my wife got in one of the biggest fights we've ever gotten to in Aruba, because we went to a pizza place that did personal size pies. And she said, we all do need this one. I go, it's personal.

She goes, yeah, but I go, I'm gonna do one, you fuck. But I'm guaranteeing you, we're gonna fucking get two. And the one came out, this little shit pizza. And she had us, and then she was like, I'm just gonna have one size. I'm like, you don't want mine. You know you want more, but now I'm fucking making my wife go hungry. Just do it a three.

Stop trying to fucking control me. Get three fucking pies. Fuck the world. It doesn't fit on the table. Make them get us another table. We got a place in Jersey that actually makes a dessert pizza. Where does that fucking new telepie? Oh, I've had that. It's like Domino's make dessert pizza. What the fuck is that? New telepie. Oh, I've had that.

It's like dumb. The dominoes make dessert pies. Yeah, but they- The dominoes is not fucking pizza. Number one. No, no, no, no. You're right, not. Tell me what that is.

You can make up sheet and have to keep leaning in like a fucking shitty news reporter. It has very far up that makes Nutella pizza. Yeah, it's fucking like diet. It's just diabetes going down your throat, but it's so fucking good. But here's the thing though, fuck Nutella, I'm gonna fight on good. But here's the thing though. Fuck

I'm gonna tell you this. I'm gonna fight on this new tap fuck Nutella pizza Listen this what I don't like doing. I like the crossbreeding that's going on in Jersey You guys are fucking frying Oreos and all right. You guys are great Fuck you. You know, it's great a fucking Oreo with milk fried Oreo. You can suck it. That's too far It's not too far too far. What podcast is this, Bob? Is this the fat cast or what? Are we doing the health cast? No, we're not doing the fat. Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine. We're gonna keep asking you, because I don't wanna go to jail for killing you. I do hate the crossbreeding too. I had a donut burger one time. Do you ever have that? No, but I... So we went to the fair.

We went to the fair, right? Right, my buddy Pete, who's like my foodie guy. He's my guy who I eat shit with. But that's when they usually do we went to the fair. What's the fair right with my buddy Pete who's like my foodie guy You know, he's my guy. Oh, I eat shit with but that's that's when they usually do it at a fair Yeah, try to cross-breed food Yeah, so I buy the donut burger and I taste it and I'm like, oh, this is so fucking disgusting So he goes how is it I go? It's fucking amazing you have to buy one just so he could feel the torch that I was going through Yeah, it was so bad look at a donut burger Look that's what I'm saying you don't get a donut in a burger you get a burger and I was going through. It was so bad. Look at a donut burger. That's what I'm saying.

You don't get a donut and a burger. You get a burger and then have a donut. Yes, I agree with that. I've had a donut. Desert is its own section. Desert is its own thing. You start making pizza, Nutella, dessert. It's like the salad pizza.

Fuck your face. Yeah. To make a natural shit. Is that popular in the salad pizza? Yeah, but you know what that's called? That's called salad pizza. That's called bread in a salad. Yeah.

Which I love way better. Because I get the butt of the bread, have the salad with the dressing. Is it placed by me at a taco pizza? Yeah, a taco pizza. What's that? It's a taco on a pizza. Look, I don't mind that because that's-

That's fucking delicious. That's all right. Still is. I'm gonna look at the Mexican guy's front. He's okay. Sorry, I just made you really Mexican. Why, you like a taco pizza? Really?

Yeah, see, I don't like that, man. I like a taco. No, I like straight up pizza. I'm with you. I like straight up pizza. Here's my list, okay, ready? I like grandma pizza from best. I like a slice of pizza from Joe's,

and I like a whole pizza from John's. Joe's Sicilian is unbelievable as well I know but Joe's slice is just re off the fucking charts. I went last night to pizza supreme on 31st. You know this pizza is this whole podcast is gonna end with us just fucking going to nine to do it bang bang bang bang bang bang Can we talk about something else I'm so hungry now. Now what does what's talking about why are you doing this to me? I've actually doing alright too. I've been I've been I've been diving. Well we started working out. We worked out and I was working out and I think you started that weekend

right? Yeah the week before I was working. So the week before you started working out and we went away to comics and we started going to the gym and lifting weights and we did good that weekend and I've been doing it every day. So can you imagine watching Bobby walk into the sauna and then stop roast walks out? Like that shit works. Fuck. Dude, fuck you. I liked it. He just didn't laugh because he was an insult.

No, well, yeah, I can't help you with insults, still. But it was your, it was your enthusiasm that made everybody hate that. Because you went into the mic. Can you imagine? Like an old radio show. Can you imagine? All right, I'll take it. Wow.

It's the shitty sound effect. We thought you were still getting to it. Yeah, but it's like what are the foods that you're missing? Besides all of them. Literally every single one. What is the fucking food that's killing you right now. Well the good thing is all Yeah, yeah, everything I mean I Know good thing. I honestly career barbecue. I can have those. I mean no sugar no Okay, but I'm not asking you the question wasn't what are the shitty foods that you can have because that yeah

What is the one that you you just you fucking miss? Just French fries I guess just a nice for really I like the side dishes. That's what it is. I basically eat I love a nice popper. I love a nice jalapeno popper. I love a nice fucking those things where they put in yeah You got me started now, so I love those things where it's just macaroni and cheese fried in a fucking ball. That is great. Are you fucking? Oh my lord dude. The S.H.H. suck out the jelly and replace a wick chocolate filling. Can I have a little lemon in my tea?

Listen, bro, but also I also ice cream. We had a, I had a mentor rule eating with Stavros. You have to ask because if you don't, he would just fucking, he'd go, hey, can I grab a chip? Can I grab a fry? Can I get a papa? And he would just fucking he'd go hey can I grab a chip can I grab a fry can I get a papa and he would just keep eating until They go you know you stopped him or they were gone So I had to be like you can't you have to ask the last one you cannot take so when we when I eat with star roast

He knows I'll literally be see he's like a fucking like a light of food He's like a laboratory But you treat her just sitting there waiting for a fucking treat And I look down and I the energy's weird and I look. It's just sitting there waiting for a fucking treat. And I look down and the energy's weird and I look and he's just looking at me and I look in those one fucking nacho love. And I'm like, go ahead. No, no, no.

But you're generous with food. You'll always offer me, like, if we're all eating it all for food, they're tickling at you, tickling at that. That's a typical fat guy trick. Yeah. Yeah, is what it is. Because you get to order it for everybody. And it's generosity, not gluttony in that way.

Yeah, it's generosity, not gluttony. You're reading it too. And I'm not supposed to have this, but here. Hey guys. What's your friends? I got you guys 55 cupcakes. No, my favorite thing to do when I'm on like a show, and I really do want to be nice to the people in the crew and the actors,

but I'll go get really expensive donuts. It's my thing. Like I'll go to find the donut place around because they have all these great donut place, especially in Brooklyn. Oh, that Peter Panwell. I went here, right? When we ordered We ordered two I ordered 200 donuts from there. I had them delivered to set because number one I really it's a it's a good way it's a cool thing to

give every time. It's a unifier. But dude man and those fucking donuts. Oh god. They're amazing. They're fucking ridiculous. I heard about that donut plant place too. I heard that's on the floor. Fuck donut plant. Fuck it. I will not condone that place. That's another place. It's taking a fucking perfectly good thing and then mixing it up. That's wrong. They don't fucking bake in and maple fuck off.

Oh, they do that. Who do donuts in there? Donut. Donut what? Where do I go? Donut pub. Oh, they do that. You're doing on sender. Donut, Arion. Donut what? Where do I go? Donut pub. Donut pub is unbelievable. Tipsy guy in 20.

Oh. This is what I do. Here's my fat trick there. Really? You go around 1230. On a Saturday. It has to be Saturday. Yeah.

When they're cooking the donuts fresh in the back, you get a seat at the fucking little tiny counter. At the bar. Yeah. You sit by the door So no one else can get in And then I give the guy a 20 I go whatever's hot you bring here first Hey Here's a fins never take me to Dona. Here's a fobby see you. Yay! Yay! Here's a finskey. Get me whatever's hot.

I think I literally got him. You got him, Mr. Kelly. He comes and before he brings him to the fucking place where he stacks him, he gives him to Bobby. I want that one. Oh my god. Hey, buddy, if you're gonna do it, you might as well do it. You're right, right?

I'll do up a 20 to fucking enjoy myself with my friends. Yeah. I'll break with those fucking to fucking enjoy myself with my friends. Yeah I'll break with those fucking donuts. Oh, they were good. Yeah, let me We had milk pub is my milk. We all get milk. You know Donuts. I don't usually do that I'm a cooking milk person Chris can you if it can you escort him? Fucking don't eat yeah, go ahead. What are you drinking nothing you go dry? I guess I go dry Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah the rain deer carrots. No, who am I kidding? I'm never eating the reindeer Dude I what like what is your food that you I mean what is your thing that you miss? Oh miss it. I'm eating it Dining Mess I should die a glitter. I was bad. It's not a glitter. I had to be bad. I'm going to start now because this weekend was bad.

What did you do this weekend? What did I miss? Is fried chicken, fried chicken is my all-time favorite. What did you get good fried chicken in the city? What are you kidding me? You go to Hillcrow chicken. I'm trying to live in those shitty neighborhoods. You never have blue ribbon down in the...

I guess, yes. Yes. But this weekend I was in Syracuse and I had dinosaur barbecue there. I, me and Brendan Ayers, another comic. We had three dates in a row. That's dinosaur barbecue. What'd you get? Three. Briscuit, mag and cheese, french fries. It was on like three videos. You just went briscuit every time. I get the same thing every time. I'll come back. Does the dinosaur 10 minutes from my house too? Where in? In Newark. Oh, in Newark. Oh, is there one yet?

Yeah, it's great. It's dinosaur in your house. It's not my favorite barbecue. favorite barbeque. That's the main thing. But that's also, that's meat as well. So it's like, if I was dining, I guess I could have it, but the sides are great. Because the sides, baby, the sides are great. So what is your favorite fucked up food that you know you should need? Fried chicken. Fried chicken.

I eat tons of fried chicken downstairs. I mean, the cutlets. Oh, the cutlets. Yeah, fried, I eat so much fried wings, tons of fried chicken downstairs. I ate them cutlets. Oh the cutlets. Yeah, fried, I ate so much fried wings, fries, fried french fries. Oh god, yeah. So much fried food. I had to cut down because I was like, to the point where I almost like a heart attack

this week and I think. Okay, stop one second. Liz, can you come in here please? Can you come here please? Yeah. Just give it a, no give it a microphone, give it a mic. Why? Well, number one, you know, this whole thing with the, the Judd thing.

Are we gonna do this in this form? Yes, I already talked about it. We're not gonna do it in this form. Do you know what she did to me? We're not doing it in this form. Do you know what she did to me? We're not doing it. Do you know, I already did it.

I already fucking did it. Well, I'm not gonna say it in the end. I didn't go. Okay, goodbye. it. Well, I'm not gonna see her again. Alright, then go. Okay, goodbye. Goodbye. Fuck that. Fucking set me up. I didn't realize that was gonna be so serious.

What? I don't care. I don't give a shit. She doesn't want to do it. Then fucking, goodbye. They set me up downstairs to look like the fucking asshole guy. The bump guy. Yeah, the bump guy.

Why? I get fucking eugh. Somebody break out. How about that fried chicken, huh? Yeah. Is there a doughnut in the glass pane we can break out? Just have to party. Yeah. Ha.

Ha. Ha. In case bump is on. Oh, Chris. Oh, that's it. Oh, that's it. Protect our guests for God's sakes. Get up quicker, Chris.

Fat, he is the f-. Roland. All right good Bobby's head almost ate the guests If there was two of me got up with the couch out the couch has to come out a little bit. Oh my god It's not you dude. It's us. That's supposed to be a hung up. It's not fucking hung up. Yeah, but I love that the things falling and fucking Chris gets up fast, Chris. We'll learn to be fast. When people might be dying.

More than it's already fucking up, you're blocking her way. This is Chris getting a... Get the fuck out. I hate slow people I do. Do you have that donut? Does anybody Should I go to insomnia cookie some cookies we haven't delivered? No, no, no, no, no, no, who said that? Chris said that that was actually his inner monologue box What is your favorite what is your favorite thing ice cream? Really every fucking day I need it

I'm a 39 year old married guy my wife was at work today and like I said to myself 11 There's just a viable time for ice cream So I did no this morning you ate ice cream in the fucking morning for breakfast I think that's I've had ice cream for breakfast and it's like eating yogurt. Yeah, exactly. You know what I want you to leave. I don't want you here. That's called being in a naveler.

That's also called being skinny. You know what I'm saying? That is what skinny people say. They go, it's just like yogurt, besides it being amazing. Oh, I love ice cream in the morning. My wife will make pizza with cauliflower and all that. And she's like, it's the same thing. I'm like, it's not the same thing.

My wife will say, I'm like, it's not the same thing. I'm like, it's not the same thing. I'm like, it's not the same thing. I'm like, it's not the same thing. I'm like, it's not the same thing. I'm like, it's not the same thing. I'm like, it's not the same thing. I love ice cream in the morning. Yeah, my wife will make pizza with cauliflower and all that. And she's like, it's the same thing. I'm like, it's not the same thing. My wife made cauliflower pizza one day. And I ate the first slice like it.

I was like, ooh, this is like pizza. The second slice, I'll never forget. It was like sucking a like a horsecock as it was gizzing in my throat. So it was so delicious. I can never un-feel the feeling of fucking cauliflower pizza. Ever again. I do the cauliflower mash though.

I'll do cauliflower mash, but I'll do it in my favor. Everything is cauliflower, oh grotton. Oh hell yeah. They fucking melt three different cheeses and then burn it in the oven. Yes, fuck you. Hell yeah. Del Frisco's, go to Del Frisco's. So cream in there.

Order that, order that. Fucking heart will stop. But I love ice cream too, but here's the thing is that I can eat a whole tub of ice cream and not stop. And my little brother was like, I remember one time I went to this place up in the Hampshire, I forget the Keller house, it's called, right? It's been there for like a hundred years.

One of those ice cream places, a hundred years, they make ice cream, you put your own toppings on and all that shit, right? And I've been going this since I was a kid. We went up two years ago, whatever it was, and I was like, I was like, dude, I can eat like fucking nine scoops. And the scoops are like fists.

And he goes, no, you can't. I go, I'm telling you, dude, I can throw like fucking nine scoops and the scoops are like fists and he goes no you can't I go I'm telling you dude I can throw it down. I got five scoops and I was in no fucking gone and under 10 minutes fucking yeah gone just ice cream What was it Oreo cookie dough and Oreo cookie and it was like cookie monster one because of blue my my tongue, my lips were all blue for like fucking two days. Look like a scoops of it. You ate five scoops of it. Dude, five, I gotta throw it down.

Fucking ice cream, nothing, does nothing to me. Oh, it's filled. Nothing. Could you do the Ben and Jerry's the Vermonsturred? You know that big tub that they keep there? Fuck yeah. Do you have eyes? Yeah.

Yeah, how big is the Vermonsturred? Yeah. It's like a tub of ice cream, so they sell. Oh yeah, I can do that. You fuck that. What did you get if you eat it? It's like a challenge. I don't think you get anything, I think,

but you just can, I think it's for like parties. We used to go to a place in Boston called the DeliHos and you know, they have a Sunday, right? This one, they had a weekender, it was called and it was fucking 26 scoops of ice cream. Cheesy. Yeah. You can have time to do that.

It's gonna melt before you finish. And then you drink it. That's what they make sure. That's why this goes. That's why this goes. You got an answer locked and loaded. I know you're thinking, and you drink it. I'm counting on it, melting.

That's my best part. The best one, the ice cream melts in the bowl, I know you're thinking and you drink it. I'm counting on it melting That's the best part the best one the ice cream melts in the bowl and then you drink it like oh cereal milk Oh, there's nothing Let me ask you this. What do you fill your meals with now that you can't have grains sugars? I need to know what you like okay, you know what I do now. Yes, I It takes I was telling you off front it takes around a month I call it the stranded on a fucking desert island Technique it's if you All of a sudden fucking a tomato will taste like French fries if you if you haven't eaten any

crappy shit if you take away the shitty food all all the salt and the sweets and the fucking corn syrups and all that, I'm getting excited. I'm getting excited. I'm just going to take away, I'm like, I don't want to take away the salt. I don't want to take away the sweets. But you're saying after you take it out for a month. If you take it out for a month, all of a sudden food tastes different. Food tastes the way it is anymore.

All of a sudden you taste an apple and you're like, this is the sweetest thing I've ever tasted. If you don't have sugar for a month and then you eat an apple, you're gonna be like, this is fucking delicious. Yeah. It's just the way it is and all fat people, here's the things, skinny people, we know. We get it.

We know it all. We know exactly what the fuck to do, how to do it, and what we're doing to ourselves. We're not fat because we're stupid. No, we don't like see like bad food. Like I bet this is good for me. We know what we're doing to ourselves. We're fat because we need to be fat

at certain times to not die. You find it hard on going on the road now eating. No, here's what you do. Okay, when you go on the road, if you can't afford it, right now I can afford to get room service. Okay, and I'm lucky enough to be able to do that. And I'm lucky enough to be able to afford a hotel that has good room service, okay?

But before when I wasn't, I would go to a grocery store. Just go to grocery store. You know, and you buy delimits, and you buy condiments that you can have, mustards and relishes, and you buy delimits and you buy condiments that you can have, mustard and relishes, and you buy nuts and you buy a protein shakes powder and you mix it with water and you fucking eat, you eat as much of fruit and fucking you get some peanut butter if you're craving sweet, you take a scoop of

peanut butter late at night and it takes away the sweet and then you keep doing that over and over and over all the sudden a Fucking apple tastes like an apple again amazing pineapples like fuck you Watermelons like suck my dick I go on TV food maps whenever I'm going away for a weekend and I'll look around like I'm going to Hartford I'll be like oh shit. There's a fucking burger place 10 miles away and I drive to all my gigs So I totally kill myself every time I go away.

Yeah, I do, we've done stuff. Let me taste that, man. You know what you fucking travel channel shows I shot without shooting? No cameras. No cameras. No cameras. I remember when we were,

I had to do the same thing. You're talking about imaginary person. Albany is me, you and Joe. Me, you and Joe list. So me and Joe had already eaten at the club and Joe specifically to Bobby I'm not hungry, and I'll like I'll take something. I'll have one thing and Bobby's like all right all order There's a five on trays. There's a there's like a platter of a party platter of sausage a schnitzel just for one person Two different kinds of fries. I think they were sweet potato fries and regular fries and then 20 wings and that was when Joe didn't want to eat and I just wanted like half of something that's what Bobby

ordered it was unbelievable and then I just just like he just shames me into eating you know what I don't want to not that I don't want to he just he's like a coach yeah he's like he takes you to make a coach you're my fat. But you know what? You're your prodigy kid. I know. I'm learning fast. Yeah. I don't do much coaching. And that we get I literally just filled a plastic bag with the leftover sausage and that's what I had. Oh, just as a snack. I just had. Okay, fuck that. How about the time I went to the wings place? Up in Oh, that was it me in Westchester. They've just go candlelight. Okay candlelight. It's they have the best wings in the state Probably I mean and they're connected. They don't cut them in half. Oh fuck that. I love a connected wing

I you know what I said the same thing brother, but let me tell you something it's better now with that little tip I don't want a little tip on the end. I can't deal with that shit What tip you know when they don't cut them. They got a little fucking little fried tip You set the fried stuff off? No way I go old drums. I'll pay extra for all drums dude. That's really fat. Yeah, that's fucking fat people you do ranch No, oh You gotta go ranch. I don't do anything You don't do anything? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no much. I like a hot, I like a nice hot, and I'll do a ranch.

Because the ranch cools it to fuck down. And ranch, I'll tell you, ranch is literally like fucking just sugar. It's all sugar. Yeah, it's really bad. Especially that Cisco shit. And it comes off a Cisco truck. You're dying.

You're gonna cancer. I'm not a vet. Yeah, it's Cisco. Cisco's not using all natural. I'm dating two different girls who ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa?

¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa?

¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa? ¡Una bucha! ¡Una bucha de rin! so much food at that place. We ate so much, I think, there's me, you and Joe. Me, my friend Joe,

we ate, I think it was 30 wings. Yeah, so immediately, before we even sit down. 50 wings. Before we even sit down, Bob, he's like, what's your best appetizer? We'll have one of those. Doesn't ask what it is. Just ask them for an appetizer.

Before we sit down, and it's just there. It's just, he's a fried cheesy thing. He knows a place, he's going soon, he just knows, he's orders a fried cheesy thing. He knows the place. He's going soon. He just knows. He just orders that before. He even starts the fucking meat. It was great.

So there's an appetizer just waiting before we get there. Because I don't think, look, here's the thing. This is what fucks you when you eat. Is the waiting for the food will make you more hungry and eat more. If you get something right away to nibble on. That's actually not a bad theory. Oh, hold on a sec.

I'm about to just blow this dumb theory. Because that day, here's what he orders. That's, yeah, that day we really didn't eat anything, Bobby. So we sit down. It's three of us, three people, right? Not super. I think Joe had already eaten. It wasn't like, I was pretty hungry, Bobby was hungry,

whatever. So we ordered 30. So you guys are eating. We're looking at all these stories, Joe. So it's already. Joe's like, no, I'm all right. I will eat for you, whatever. So we ordered 30, we're looking at all these stories, Joe. So it was already. And Joe's like, nah, I'm all right. I will eat for you then.

It's a different, this was a different, this guy can eat. Oh, I thought it was less. So I love all the stories, though, Fato's like, I can eat. I can eat. Bob, you. All right, fine, this particular time I really could eat, fine. You were starving. You're right, that was fine.

So we get this appetizer, which is a cheesy fried thing. Then 30 wings, just off the top, two fries in an onion ring, and then he just orders a full rack of ribs. Just like on top of a meal. He's just like a full rack of lunch, don't impression. Yeah. Now, okay, here we go, ready? Yeah.

And we were done with that meal. Was I on the fucking money with all the food? Absolutely on the money. On the money, not one fucking nugget left. I ordered exactly as much food as we should have had. No, because we were done, and then I remember at the very end of my meal, I was struggling a little bit, but I got it done, you know what I mean? I don't wanna let Bobby down here.

And I'm grasping for my last fry, and he sees it's my last fry, he's like, you know what I mean? I don't want to let Bobby down here. And I'm grasping for my last fry. And he seasons my last fry. He's like, you want some more fries? And I was like, no, I'm actually okay with fries. And he asks again, how about some more fries to Joe? And Joe's like, maybe a cheese fry? No, Joe's like, yeah, I'll get a fry. Then you're like, oh, cheese?

Maybe cheese fries? He's like, yeah, let's go cheese fries. And then he, he's special orders cheese off the menu. Yeah, he's like, he orders three different types of cheeses did they put on sandwiches so I love how you describe eating like you're running a 5k yeah I was I struggled there a little bit but I got throw it I got the cramps and the cramps and oh my god I just went home to my fuck wait we weren't done yet though because we all got dessert oh remember the bread we did dessert. I got a bread pudding. Oh the bread pudding was fucking to

But we all got three this we all got a separate dessert. Yeah, we are different desserts man. You share desserts Made a little Assholes it was so good man. It was incredible lovers weekend right now But I remember that that's actually my friend, Joe. That was the that when he was like, I'm done. Yeah. I think that was the night when he- Was he a fat guy as well?

No, he's a big guy. He's got a pretty in shape. But he was like, I had to get in shape after this. Dude, because he would come on the road. I mean, my friend Joe, he's his civilian, you know, a good guy. I want to smile at his guys, I know. And he'll just come on me on the road.

We'll do gigs where I can drive to. And we'd go eat. And I would, you know, he would, he would eat like me because he's there. So we ate a lot of food together. And that was like the end of his run with me where it was like, you know, he's actually the guy that got me going to the gym. He goes, because here's the problem with the gym. If you're going to go to the gym, here's my advice to you. I did it. I helped you out with it. Get somebody to give you a four day plan.

So when you go to the gym, you do a half hour cardio and then you do a body group weight wise and have it visual. Like a photo of what to do on that machine. So you go in, you do 30 minutes of cardio and then you go find four machines and do four of whatever the fuck they tell you to do on each machine. And you will do it. If you know what you're doing at the gym, because even if you know what you're doing at the gym because even if you know what you know like a plan you need a plan you need a fucking plan if you're a fatso yeah if you think it's gonna be a gym and get on the treadmill for half hour or 40 minutes it's not gonna help you have to lift weights tear muscle rebuilds needs energy uses fat point that's it you know

treadmill helps but it's not gonna burn fat as fast or better then ripping your muscles and having to repair and even though bobby has this knowledge you have infuriating it is to have a fatter person yell at you to uh...

this is what i hate about this fucking this fucking queen this fucking n fucking queen This fucking Nickelodeon team mom Now we're working out at the what is that snacks? Oh no, it's a snooze. What is that? Snooze like chewing tobacco snooze. Oh, okay. Oh, I get you again. I thought you were To get you in tobacco. We're getting you hungry here Yeah, we're working out at the gym and he was doing shoulders. And I'm like, you know, do, first of all,

the first day we leave me and him at work and out we leave KC, the thin Indian dude, right? We didn't talk to him in the gym. And the next day he was like, that day he was telling us, like, you guys are going to talk to me at the gym. We're like, well, you don't need to do any of this. We're a thin guy. We thought you were just, he was planking the whole time.

Yeah. What are we, he can't do that. Is it planking your standing still? Is that what it is? No, planking is putting your arms up. You have to like hold your body. Oh, okay. You guys talk now, don't you fucking thin ourselves?

First thing you said at the same time, that's what you blank. So we're in the gym the next day and I'm like, you gotta do this. You know, I'm not doing that in my shoulder. I didn't just have that voice. I'm not doing it in my shoulder. Did I turn into a woman? What was wrong with the shoulder? I have a...

So do I. So do I. With my injury from high school is that stop doing that? Excuse, it's not excuse you. I did it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, she's shut up It's a it's a it's a Rotator cuff. I don't know I I tore something I have the same thing I have same thing. Oh now you have the same thing now weekend. You didn't say anything about having because I'm not a fucking Little trying to be a gladiator in the gym. Yeah, I'm trying to do what I got to do.

It's fine. I want to be healthy. So it's fine. I put my health in. Yeah, we see who you want to be. Yeah. You're fucking shimmering forehead. Let's just know how healthy you are.

Not that bad. I think I probably have at least the fourth dryest forehead in here. I guarantee it. Do the fact I test. Do the fact I test. I want it right on that side flat. If it's...

This would just happen to any four. No, stick it. One push, let go. Factor. Factor. Factor. Factor. Factor.

Factor. Factor. Factor. Factor. Factor. Factor. Factor. Factor.

Factor. Factor. Factor. Factor. Factor. Factor. One, two, three. Ah! What about the same? What about the same? There you go, yeah, yeah, take the fat guy test. This is the fat guy. Move that hair though, that hair will fucking, and move that, actually, you don't have to move that hair. Don't touch that hair. All right, let go.

One, two, oh! A shocking upset. That's not what he's a model. Put that hat back on for God's sakes. Oh my God, that's a haircut. That's the fucking cheapest haircut you'd ever have to pay for. So it's, I've been doing great, but I feel, I watch the show called, I don't know the name of it. I forget the name of it But it's on one of those fucking history whatever channels and it's about fat people that lose the weight

Biggest loser. No, it's about fat people that lose all the weight But then they have all the skin. Oh my god. I saw that. No, it's horrible. It's creepy Dude, so here you get this woman or this guy who had like 400-something pounds or whatever it was. They go and lose all this weight. They fucking kill it. And now they have this fucking thing hanging from their arms and tits and inner thighs.

And they'll have melted candles. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking disgusting. They literally have to buy like compression clothes. Well a lot of people get plastic surgery after. Yeah, they get a carol. But it's due to takes like a year. So this was the whole thing is they go in and they have to get the surgery.

And this hot chick now used to be a tubby. It was cute, fat too. Yeah. Lost the weight. She's a pretty blonde, but God forbid if she was single and you met her at a nightclub and then you took her home, you'd fucking throw up.

Because she'd have to unravel her gut from her cunt. She's fucking funny. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And they go and they have to get this skin. I think 16 pounds of skin. One dude had like 45 pounds of skin. Oh my god.

You'd never see it when they like flap it on the table. It's disgusting. Well, this is every fucking day. Yeah. Yeah. Think about how weird that must feel after all that's gone. Yeah.

You're like that guy from the sopranos. Remember, he lost all that weight on the show show and like he was, he did like some reality show where he lost a bunch of weight. But then he still walked like he was as big. Yeah. He still had that like, like, because he still had the skin in the between his legs. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god. And if you have a count of you like fuck right every have that I've done and they walk in with this bucket of fat that they they go and they unveil it We just cut the 17 pounds and they're like they're looking at the fat like what are you showing? Are you crazy? Why are they showing us? I don't know. It's for the show production again. Let's fucking lady What if you nightmares for the future? That's why I don't That's why I just want to be a fat guy with no titties. That's my fitness goal. No titties, big arms. I think I can handle that. No skin, you know what I mean?

You got it, Bill. Thank you. You want to be like, meet head fat? Like I'm, like I'm, like I'm, like I'm, like I'm, like I'm, like I'm, like I'm, like I'm, like I'm, like I'm, like I'm, like I'm, like I'm, like I'm, like I'm, like I'm, like I'm, like I'm, like I'm, like I'm, like I'm, like I'm, like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like

I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm fat with the people. Oh yeah. Loose the weight. Whoa. Yes. Yeah. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of. That's got to be, I should fucking do it. It's got to be the greatest month though of their life. Yeah. Just eat all the food.

Yeah. That's ridiculous. That's just stupid. That's teaching people the wrong, you know what I mean? But it's also they're going to lose the weight quicker than the people that have been fat their whole lives. Yeah, but it's not good to do, man. I mean, are you trying to lose anything?

Well, I'm going to have to at some point. Oh, like a leg. Like a leg now. Do you mean you're leg your foot? No, wait a minute, we talked about it outside. I went and I lost a lot of weight and then I put it back on. Right, because you know, you understand

you were married and were happy and you just don't give a fuck anymore and you just fucking eat what you want and then just comes back on. Well, I'll tell you why. I started eating because I started quitting smoking. I did too. And then I had pregnancy.

My wife got pregnant and then we had the kids. You're gonna say, I don't think that's how it works. No, but the stress of it, like I remember. And then we moved twice in a year, how to baby. It was just a fucking crazy three or four years there. And I used that to get by. I used food to get by because now, here I'm on the road. This is before, two years, four years ago, things were okay.

They weren't great. I was fucking hustling on the road. I had to work a lot. I wasn't making a lot of money. I was making good money, but not great. And then, you know, and thank God, you know, Louis and sex drugs and other things or whatever happened. But, you know, it was fucking rough, man. And here, I just couldn't, I quit smoking. It was, it's tough, man. Eating, let me tell you something. I don't drink, I don't party. I don't fucking, I don't get to go have a whisky

or a bourbon or fucking get shit-faced to smoke weed. You know, your vice's food. Fucking damn right. And there's nothing makes you feel better Then sitting in your whole tellroom knowing that a pizza guy's Nothing, huh, there's nothing to make you name something Having eaten the pizza already. I think it's probably better. No, no, you don't like that feeling of just Fucking an ugly chick and then when you come you then you can fucking an ugly chick. And then right when you come,

you're like, oh, I just fucked an ugly chick. No, I like feeling like shit and just like, oh, I don't know, just like, that's a big part of the feeling for you. I'm taking a nap. The nap is great. The like, you go into hibernation and you could feel your blood just being thicker.

Oh, no, I know. I like when it shows up, the anticipation will be like, oh, I could see it. Yeah. Dude, when I order food, when I'm in a hotel room, and I haven't done it in months now, but when I got to, when I help that delivery, and then I see the pictures of that pizza,

you're right, I change my mind, you're right. And then all of a sudden, I order it, and it's coming, and it's on the way to diet codes. It's coming, and you're coming. Yeah die of coke It's coming and you're coming Dude, there's nothing better than using a like a full-size towel as a nap Dominoes and I just fucking completely wipe my face Nothing I love it. It's gonna my it becomes like the shroud of turnloat with pizza sauce. There's another me show that I have some maid

having to figure out what's, why is it red? Why is the towel what do you get fucked in the ass? The maid comes and she's like, do we get murdered? Piece of pepperoni still on the fucking towel. I love it, I love it. Oh man, I love it. I love it.

And I, you know, I just wish it's almost like fucking pussy with me I wish I did more before I got married like I wish I Would you just fucking did a nice DP with a friend of mine? I'm one asshole You know, you want to rub you dick next to me? I like that. That's why I fucking shaft rubbing along your shaft. Well, we don't have dreams Just a nice high five with cocks. God, fuck. Come on, my friend's ball, son of a vagina.

Just go a little bit of guy stuff. Like romantic stuff. Oh, god. It's fucking funny, man. But I don't know if anything anything what makes you feel better than Eating a great meal. I don't know because I'm with my chick for two years now because like I can stay thinner if I can fuck strange pussy But if I'm faithful that's when they're eating gets bad People look their best when they're single. Yeah, that's what always that's the thing that always is in my life

Whenever I've lost some weight. it's always been after a breakup. Or like after a drought when I haven't fucked for a while. I'm just like, all right, let's kick this into gear. And then the second I get a girlfriend or I start feeling good about myself, I start gaining weight as you're saying. What is that? I just like it comfortable. Yeah, it's comfortable, you're happy.

Yeah, but why would you want to destroy yourself when you're happy? What is that? Why? Why? Because you don't can see it as destroying yourself when you're happy? What is that? Why? Why? Because you don't can see it as destroying yourself. You see it. No, no, no, no. You know it is. But I don't, you know, not on a grand scale.

Yeah. No, no, no. It starts small though. I think it's like a slippery thing. You're like, you're happy. I'll just skip those. Okay. I'll hang out with this with my girl.

What happened was, why is, my point is then, why is it food, something that makes us happy? Because you start off when you're dating, you go out to eat, and then when you're together a year or two and you move in together, then it's like, oh, let's just stay in together and we'll order something in. And then it's like you start booking your vacations around a fucking food.

What are you doing, fucking? Will you walk a chocolate cracker? We're going to the Biscoe factory this year, all right? You're going to have an M-Sloor at times. Come with me. We're going to see this fact guy Sean dying in a corner. Yeah, I don't think that's it for me.

I don't like to eat with the girl. It's just that's just as soon as I... As soon as I'm happy, you're right. I don't know why it's tied to happy. It's because you get comfortable. I don't know why it's tied to happy. I know it's because you get comfortable You don't even think of your your your you're right. You're happy and you don't it's not like you're you're not We're trying to get laid first of all right. You're getting laid So you don't have to look good to get laid so that goes out of your head But you stop getting laid when you get fat and you get too when you get too fat you when you check stop fucking

Yeah, I mean it's a fact Yeah, that happened you still fuck you check fucking. Yeah, I mean, it's a fact. Yeah, that's not happening. You still fuck your chick, you still have sex, I'll say it that way. Sorry. Yeah, you still fuck your wife, bro. Yeah. That's a really good fucking.

Yeah. He's like, he's like, nice to meet you by the way. I'm sorry, dude, I caught myself. That's okay. You still have sex with your lovely wife? Yes. You do it a lot? She's more driven than I am.

Because of... Well, I just, I guess I have a lower sex drive than she does. Because of... Probably because I'm fat. Yeah. True, I do too. I do too. Yeah, now that I've started losing weight, my sex drive, wet.

Well, well, well. Well Wed I want a fuck all the time Now that I started losing weight my sex drives coming back. Yeah, yeah, I'm starting up. Oh you feel it I feel absolutely Actually, that was a big thing for me just like I I I took this girl that I wanted to go with for a while And I just couldn't get hard it was brutal. So over Christmas break and I had been I had beaten off That's girl quite a bit so it was like was she related. Yeah, she she was yeah, I think you just I think you just gay Yeah, you made it took about me fucking I don't know

What's going on? I don't know where that is. I don't know where it was. I thought it'd be funny. That's why you couldn't get a heart attack. Find it, like, fuck. What's going on there? I find it. This is the white scopo sucks. I literally shut up scopo. I whisper to, I go, where's the ad? And he's looking at me. You put it on everybody's head.

I know, but I don't know where it is. I'm asking you to fucking find it. It's what I'm asking. You fucking, oh, God. I'm asking you to fucking find it is what I'm asking you fucking oh God I'm literally whispering It's pretty fitting because it fell on the floor, but he yells He yells into the microphone you put it on your head It was on your head and then he slaps his head like I'm retarded like I

Feel like I need fucking idiot like I wouldn't understand you put it on you put it on your head. I need this Is the ad for Jenny Craig No, I wish I you know what I don't know understand why I don't have any Something for weight loss on this fucking show. I've got a guess. I think why? Because you weren't losing weight until recently. I'm talking to you very bad. Holy fucking Sherlock Holmes.

Fuck, sucker. Do you ever get into the chat room? Yeah, we got a couple of times. This is all gonna be terrible. I've been on a roll of cold streak lately, but John Coltrane says this podcast is Grubhub's wet dream. All right. I thinkub's wet dream. I don't know. Corey Pruitt says Bobby's blood type is rocky road. That's a fucking street joke.

The street joke hack you hack. Wow, I'm not kidding. He's a guy in the chat room. Come on. Rare's Taurus doe says, fuck this show. I'm going to go workout. Very good. Very good. Very good. Very good. All right gonna go work out. Very good, very good, very good.

Alright, check it out. I gotta do a really ad real quick and what's that? I'm starving to eat food. I got it though, thank you. I can't do anything. I was getting a time code for the show and then I had to see you look and see the time goes right Are we good? Lauren is the fucking gods. Thank God for Lauren. I wish every Johnny was better. It's not I now

Like sorry in Lauren for Johnny right now Maybe We can't fit in Lauren Fajriner right now. Um, maybe. Half of you guys. You ever get really bad Kalamade where it's just like, too big? Sorry, how did you just say that word? Kalamade. Where are we on the, uh, I'm healthy coast right now. Oh my God. Yeah.

Yeah. This is a Kalamade. You guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are, you guys are getting much more serious. You're not that skinny yet. I think it's true, right? I hate what people do that. You look like a calamari.

That's a pepperon. Excuse me, did you guys have the New Yorkie? Yeah, with the Bolognais. And the Pavagina cheese, the Reziano. Fuck, I'm sorry, I said, thank you for calling me out. We'll finish about my vagina please. Yeah, your vagina, bring my vagina back up. You even have a vagina? Her vagina, forget it.

It's a mess. Pogina would say Kalamari, I'll tell you right now. I bet your her vagina is awesome and It's a mess. I bet your her vagina is awesome and she's just fucking. I'm sure it is. I think it's trying to make it more relatable to the rest of the fat people on the show. It'd be funny if her vagina really is a mess. It has makeup on it. She has the hair perfectly curled.'s the hair is perfectly curled. All the hair is like a eyebrows.

Just paint it in. Yeah, I'm ready. I bet that is. I keep looking at the Mexican dude and he makes me happy. The Mexican's always make me happy. You guys have jolly people. All right, here we go. There's lots of advice on how to get a good night's sleep.

I don't know if you know this, but the best advice I can give you guys is this to get a good night's sleep, you need a great mattress, a great one. That's it. All right, do what I did. This is what I want you to do. Get a cast per mattress. Then you really know how great a night night sleep is. That's what they send it to you. It's unbelievable. It's named one of the best inventions of 2015 by Time Magazine.

Casper is a single perfect mattress for all sleepers. It's engineered for supportive comfort that guarantees you a great night sleep. All right, just like their new sheets and pillows. The dual layer pillow contains nearly a billion microfibers that adapt as you move and keep support and keeps you cool throughout the night. There's nothing better than a cool pillow.

I hate hot pillows. I hate so many. My wife, look at man, that pillow that fucking icy cold pillow. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great.

It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great.

It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great.

It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. Okay, Casper ships these mattresses, check this out. Righty House free. Nice. Not one dime. It's rough. That pause that you tried to see where you're at. I'm sorry, I'm not. No, I knew where I was at.

That was extra mad. It was dramatic. That was those mattresses. Ships them right to your door. I didn't do that. No, they really do. They ship them for free. That's amazing. They ship it to your house for free,

and they're still tiny boxes. It's crazy how small the box is. What's that? Not like Lauren's. Not like mine. No, no. You could actually fit nine Casper mattresses. Lauren's. They should ship them in her pussy.

Well, there we go with that ad. That's why I didn't say you. What are you fucking Lewis Gomez? Yeah. Dylan the Void. Pussy. No, seriously, you can get a chip. And it's so compact, they ship it for nothing. You can try it for 100 nights for free.

Order it. Order it. Buy it. Have it. 100 nights. If you don't like it, guess what? Give it back, they'll pick it up for nothing too. They pick the mattress up for nothing.

Refund you everything, you get your money back. That's crazy. That's what you gotta do. So for a great night's sleep, stop counting sheep, get Casper. Try it for 100 nights in your own home with free shipping and return. If you don't like it, go to Casper.com, use code,

dude, for $50 towards your purchase of your mattress. And the mattress is a cheap, I gotta say that. Not cheap as in material, inexpensive cheap. 1,000 bucks for a king size, under 1,000, for a king size, okay? Now use the code word dude 50 dollars towards that purchase of your mattress. That's Casper.com code word dude for 50 bucks toward the per per purchase of your mattress. Casper.com terms and conditions may apply. So back to this, are you okay? You had a tinky. Oh, tinky? Did it come out like fucking like honey? I got fire.

I got fire hose. Yeah, but it smells sweet. It's strong prostate still. Now what's your name again? John. John, take that mic for a sec. John, you're a thin guy. Have you ever been a fatty?

No, maybe like 15 pounds every day I'm now. You're an Italian guy. Yes. So your family, they have a. You're an Italian guy. Yes. So you family, they have a lot of food. Oh yeah. A lot of food. Yes. Really?

I mean, they just eat. What's it? Your mother, your grandmother, a wolf. My grandmother loves overdoing any holiday. What do you do? There's always fights with my father about the food. Really? Yeah. She overdoes it, my mother.

What's your specialty? Yeah, tell us some of our food. Uh, baked ziti. Big ziti. Big ziti, ooh, baked ziti. Love a baked ziti. Love a baked ziti. What else?

My dad makes his own lasagna home. Your father makes the food. It's off the charts. When a guy's in a kitchen, especially in a town, you guys. My dad is a good man. Let me tell you something. Yeah, when the guy makes the food, it's fucking a guy's in a kitchen, especially in a Italian guy, that's a good one. Let me tell you something. Yeah, when the guy makes the food, it's fucking, it's, it's, it's, it's astronomical.

That's one of the best products of misogyny is what a guy's like. I can't trust women with this food. I have to make it myself. No, my mother's meatballs are to die for. Is she Italian? Yeah. All right, relax.

I know a Thai people don't make me balls. I'm going to racist. Really? Now, what about your family? What do they cook? I'm worried about the ordinary Mexican food. They talk to us. Tell us.

Fill us in. We don't know. I really don't eat too much Mexican food. I'm more Americanized. What do you like? What is your favorite food? Kalamare. Hahaha!

Hahaha! It's really green! Great call back by Donald A! You could tell. I really did sound like fucking animal echo. Kalamare. Hahaha! Quick quip, quip, quip.

I can't even say. Alright, what is it? I can't even say. Guy, what is it? I probably say tamale. It's like a pastry with meat inside. It's like a pork. It's really good and it's a little spicy. What do you cook? Where do you get, I listen.

Where do you, what's your favorite food? I probably say burritos from a creaking cave. I go there a lot. Oh, really? Those are your, that's you. cave, I go there a lot. Oh really? Yeah, I was. Those are your, that's you. Yeah, I met a, Chris over there. Now, now when you, that's your food that you got,

like, is your chubby dude like us? Oh yeah. Right? And that's where you eat. You don't sneak little snacks, you get little things at your house. You're chonka bar and you're pillows and cheese it's next to the bench. Potato chips. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Yeah. I don't go to crazy like you go. Lays. Yeah. Well, this is the funny part like big J's like this. I remember I used to be like, dude, what he would never I would never see him eat. But I'm like, how did you get?

How the fuck did you get this way? Right. It's like you're sneak eating. You're fucking doing some weird shit back at your house. At home, yeah. Yeah, it's like he's like, oh, tamale maybe. It's like, dude, how the fuck did you get like this? What's your name?

Gil. Gil? Yeah. You know what it is it's soda the soda okay there you go yeah yeah same here I'm the same way yeah soda that's me what your favorite soda like Mexican coke I don't know why you do that how would you point in his face Mexican Sorry, I mean anything by that was just my friend didn't mean anything about you deliberately look one Mexican Yeah Mexican coke is the best thing ever. Oh, no, I'm sorry the best soda of all time. Yes, boyland. What's that? Oh? It's like a little Microbrubrew for soda.

What do you get then? You get the heaven of dalleys and stuff all over the place, but you know who has it? Is Hill Country Chicken has it on Fountain and Soda? What's Hill Country Chicken? That's the Hill Country Chicken. The chicken plays, I told you about like 20 minutes ago. Where is that?

Fried chicken, 25th and Broadway. 25th and Broadway. Yeah, and so does Blue Ribbon Chicken, the one downtown. It has the machine, it has the fountain machines for boiling cola it's the best fountain the best the best just taste the best yeah yeah orange fountain found

yeah Jerry Lewis I've been on I'm tired I know it's like it's own brand so it has black cherry regular I'm not fat. Hey Jerry Lewis. I've been on, I'm tired. I am. No, it's like, it's own brand. So it has black cherry regular color. Yeah, I've never been, I've never been a soda guy. It does nothing for me. Oh, you're lucky.

But since I started smoking cigars, Diet Coke has been kind of my thing. I've been, I've been really getting into Diet Coke. How do you say Gars? I'm just figuring it out. Dude, cigars just came along. I mean, I blame Paul Verzi, but I went to his birthday party once. Talk about eating. I mean, dude, I got a car's thing into that. Dude, cigars just came along. I mean, I blame Paul Verzi, but I went to his birthday party once,

talk about eating. I mean, dude, I ate. Like, his wife can cook. And I went to his birthday party up at his house, and I ate and ate. And then they got a fucking six foot sub. I was like, all right, I'll see you guys later, and they took out the sub,

and I went, well, I guess they're from the house. I ate two feet of it. Are you serious? Well, not really, but I ate a lot of that. Yeah, I ate a lot of it. So does it. I think that's for me, because I didn't want to admit it, but I don't eat, I don't like eat a ton of ton of food

when I eat, but I eat, I'll drink a ton of soda when I eat. Well, you drink soda makes you more thirsty, so you keep drinking it. Well, diet soda, I mean, there is no calories, correct? Right. But it still fucks you up. I'll look at the drawings.

What does it do? It's still gonna fuck you up. It still, like, does the same thing in your brain. The chemical in it that makes it diet is really bad for you. It also gets aspirin. It's a pain, that's a call, that's a pain. Aspartame. But your brain thinks you're having sugar too,

so that fucks you up. Oh, really? In terms of the cravings and stuff, yeah. Really? Yeah. Well, I, I, I, it's big sugar, man. They're gonna start going after it, like cigarettes. What?

Dio soda? Dio? All of it. They're gonna go after all of it. All the fucking. Same companies that make the regular soda. So, I, they're trying to already try to go after coke. That was that whole bloom-brechted.

That was what it about. They were going after you. Oh, yeah. I sort of agree with that. Sugar is like a fucking drug. Do you see the pictures that on the subway with the soda and then with the fat? Yeah, the fat. I don see the pictures that on the subway with the soda and then the fat? Yeah, the fat.

I don't want to let go by soda. Stop, I don't know what you're talking about. There was an ad campaign trying to give people to stop drinking soda and it showed you, it just showed the size of the soda that you would drink like a 32 ounce from like 7.11 and then the equivalent of that in fact, like you put the fat on top of the soda. On top of the soda, like the amount of, like yeah, it's just disgusting. It's so good though.

It's so good. Yeah, it's really good to have a lot of soda. Yeah, and fat, oh yeah, drink that fat ever. But that's what a lot of, I'm like addicted to soda. Like I have to make like, I make mental deals with myself. I only drink soda. I only drink soda here, because I know we have them. That's my day I can drink soda. Oh really? Yeah, I should do that. I know we have them. That's my day. I can drink soda.

Oh really? Yeah, I should do that. I don't do that. Every day I'm like, well, yesterday I had one, so I'll have one today and I make little time. Because today I was like, I'll get it, but I'll drink half of it. I'll make half and I drink the whole thing. Of course. It's bad. It's really bad. Do you like soda, Zach? I fucking, yeah, I gave it up. That's one of the hard ones to give up. Yeah, I never got into it. I'll give it up for like two months, then I'll go. Somehow I'll go back.

That's an addictions. Definitely soda is a bad addition. There's a company called Johnny. Johnny. Oh, no, I do something too. I get like a six pack of like a die coke from the Wayne Reed and I just like leave it for the week or not.

But it is pretty bad. Like you have to be like be careful how much you drink of it. Yeah. Have you guys ever had Johnny Ryan soda? No It's fucking it's up in Niagara Falls So it's the Niagara Falls water from the falls and then it's the real sugar like the Mexican Coke and they make a cream soda Dude that'll blow your balls off. It's the best fucking thing. I've ever got the browns cream soda's great, too Well, you know what we got we got we got we have with my fridge

We have the soda a stream in the fridge So I got that because I love soda water. That's my soda. I don't add any flavors to it. Oh, my wife has the fucking, the cream soda, the ginger ale, and you have to add your syrup to the soda water. And man, I, you know, I not having any sugar for the last couple of months,

and then taste in her coffee. Cosy. If I drink her coffee, it tastes like cake. Yeah. Like, I'm like, this, I want to get to I drink her coffee, it tastes like cake. Yeah. Like, I'm like, I just, I want to get to that point. Well, it takes around a month. It takes a month, no fucking sugars. And all of a sudden, I could never drink my wife's coffee. And I used to have it just like her.

It tastes like cake. It's like a dessert. And it doesn't even taste good to me. Now I have coffee, I have a quad espresso with a little bit of steamed cream. And I'm like, oh my God, I can taste the actual coffee. How far are you in? So, you know, that dining and the exercise and stuff.

Thanks giving any cheated on Christmas and Christmas day. Oh, okay, okay. Christmas, even Christmas day, I cheated. So it's around three months Except for those two days because I do believe that there are certain things and certain foods and certain places Once in a while then you can't if I go to a place Christmas Eve or my kids birthday or whatever or you know, I'm gonna eat. I'm gonna have a piece of cake I'm gonna I'm not but that's it I'm fucking done yeah did it make it worse when you cheated no it did not make it worse because I had a plan I knew what I was

fucking doing but you have to do that you have to let yourself cheat the little expert you're gonna drive you know I look I don't I disagree with that too because I you have to have a cheat day, you have to, you don't. You can, you can make a decision and mentally stick with it and sacrifice. It's a sacrifice. I'm sacrificing these things that other people can eat. My wife can fucking have chocolate. My kid has pancake, they have pancakes Sunday every Sunday.

And I'm sacrificing that for the, for sacrificing that for the greater good of myself. I'm trying to better myself. And the only way to do that is by sacrificing and having willpower and not having that, which sucks because I say it sucks. You know what I mean? But having eggs in bacon is awesome too. Eggs in bacon every day.

I make a... Here's the thing that I did that helped me out a lot. You ready? Go get yourself a Nutra Bullet and start making shakes. Get protein, a protein powder, which you can get a low carb one, low sugar, no carbs. And you'll fucking blueberries banana, peanut butter, with protein and ice. You'll lose your fucking brain. How sweet that is.

Add spinach, add kale. You won't your fucking brain. How sweet that is. Add spinach, add kale. You won't even taste it. All of a sudden, you're having greens, blueberries, which are fucking amazing. You have a soup. Peanut butter, which is proteins and protein powder, which thickens it up. I use a little bit of coconut milk,

or almond milk, or coconut water. And you have this fucking shake in the morning that you're like, this is crazy, that I can even have this. Yeah, that's a good idea like, this is crazy, that I can even have this. Yeah, that's a good idea. Yeah, I mean, will I do it? No. No.

What I want to. Right now, I'm like, yeah, yeah. But also, I like it home and have shit. You just feel better too. That's the thing, that's the biggest thing with me is like, it's just like, I started just feeling not like, I just feel like, you can tell you lost weight under your fucking chin.

You can see a chin. See that, you're like me, you're a cheek scotian neck. Go to your tic. Yeah, it's like elephant seal, we call it. Well, you can see, about these things, you can see it, you can see like your cheeks are being more defined. Yeah, thank you.

You got it. But, you know, it's like, what, I mean, like, what are we gonna do? We all gonna fucking die. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it I mean, like, what are we gonna do? We all gonna fucking die. Yeah. That's what I'm gonna do. And I got a lot of fat fans too, man. I'm a fan.

Well, I'm a fan of you. It's the hardest thing ever. I think it's one of the hardest drugs. It's like heroin, because nobody understands it. Skinny people don't get it. They really don't. I've had so many skinny people just go, what are you doing?

Yeah. What are you doing? Talking to me like that. You don't know what the fuck you, you know? I'm not into sweet people. I was never into sweet. I don't know what it was. I was never into sweet. Yeah. Really go die. Fucking drive a bus, tough to close. You never, I never understood that. I guess like, how could you not be into sweet. I don't, yeah, I don't know how somebody could not do it. I mean, but the the amount of food that I eat is ridiculous too. I can pack it. Right?

Oh, yeah. Now that I'm doing the no carbs, fucking like a whole steak, a whole package of spinach, and it's all gone. Right. But it feels I feel a lot better. I don't feel like shit in the morning. Yeah, dude. My shit's been horrible. I've had some great ones Take it to pitch it soft. No, I don't you know It's funny too when I eat shit all of a sudden I get up to the stomachs now when before I was like a machine like a fucking trash Compactor I could just fucking eat literally dog shit off the ground

I could just fucking eat little dog shit off the ground. It would do nothing to me. I had some, you know, that fucking gyro meat. You know, I went gyro. Gyro? Well, you know, I actually speak Greek, so that's... Well, I got fucking shit for going fucking yucky up here. Do you know it's a mod, eh? Yeah, I guess the fucking Greek guy,

going, you little, you little fucking gyro. Go fuck yourself. That's what, it's also a gyro. Yeah, it's gyro. You brought out to get wrong, even. Well, this was a gay gyro, so it was gyro. You know the white row, it's a little curious. You know what they're doing?

Well, you know the thin slices of meat. Yeah. And it's not like off the seat. Oh yeah, it's a gyro. Fucking, it was bad bad. I shouldn't eat it and I fucking ate it like an asshole and there was a thing of tomatoes and onions like a salad that was there and I should have known by his eyebrows when I said give me some of this on it. He was like really? Are you sure? We're almost done with this. I mean, it's like the hot dog from Seinfeld. Yeah.

Yeah, it's a sad thing. But right now, I feel great. And I was watching your thing, dude, and I was like, fuck, I know what this guy does. This guy is so amazing and so wrong at the same time. Yeah, but it's like, what are you going to do? Are you going to fucking get back? Are you going to come home like, what are you gonna do? Are you gonna fucking get back? Are you gonna come home?

Are you gonna stay there? Are you gonna keep sweating? What the fuck's gonna happen? You know my problem is is like when I do put my mind to it, I'm severely like obsessive compulsive when it comes to everything. So if I go 100% in, I'm fucking in for like seven, eight months and then something happens and I in, I'm fucking in for like seven, eight months.

And then something happens. And I just, I'm done. But it's always the same way. What happens? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Like you go away. You doctor fill all of the sudden.

Like you go away to, you know, you go away for a weekend with your buddies or you go on a gig where you know there's something really fucking fantastically awesome, and you eat that, and you're like, I'll go back to the gym on Monday when I get back, and then you just don't, and that just fucking downward spirals from there. I know what you're saying. Yeah, it gets interrupted,

because there's like parties or something, a family thing or something like that, and you're eating shitty. The thing is, the hardest part of that you're surrounded by people that can eat all this shit, MA, nothing happens to them. So you're like, well, yeah, if we can go to the place you wanna go to, and I also have your food patterns,

right, I have a thing where I get the same thing in every place that I go. Like, I mean, like I'll go to a certain place, I'm like, oh, I wanna get this one thing that I get in there, and if it's shitty, and I don't wanna deviate from that thing, or I'm like, oh, I drink soda with pizza, so when when I have pizza I have to have soda. Yeah, that's right I can like you know these combos pizza wings pizza and weeks

Oh, you guys what I missed maybe any late at night. That's killed you too back kills you too And and with comedy it's hard not to eat late at night Of course, yeah, the pizza thing is not as hard because it's so easy and so fast and it fills you up like you said And then the only thing open the way back. Yeah. Yeah, like a salad, a salad will not, when you're eating shitty. I get hungry from a salad. Yeah, a salad will make you hungry or,

yeah, for some reason it doesn't fill you up, but I'll tell you this, when you do start eating better, salads all of a sudden taste good and they fill you up again, which is weird. It's a fucking brain thing. It has to be, it's chemicals being released into your fucking body. It's like you're resetting your stomach. You're resetting your brain. You're resetting your body when you clean it out like that, because you, it all of a sudden,

it's like you come out of the matrix. Yeah, like someone unplugged you from something. When you're eating healthier, you're saying. When you're eating healthier, yeah. It's like someone unplugged you from something when you're eating healthier. You're saying when you're eating healthier Yeah, it's like someone unplugged you. I'm gonna start doing it I think this is a really actually inspired me to do it again. Well, that's why I wanted this actually was for you tonight I really had Mark Norman text me and be like we're worried about you Norman text me and be like we're worried about you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I, I look there's nothing. I hate when fans do that, dude. I hope you don't die. Thanks. Yeah. Wow.

It's like, fuck, man. Can you not say it like that or relax? And it's like, you don't understand, first of all, I'm not, you know, fall 100. I'm not 500 pounds, okay? When none of us in this room are 500 pounds, you know, close. I think that's the excuse.

I would not want to be in a fucking canoe with all of you. It wouldn't be a canoe anymore. No. You even don't want to go swimming with any of us. But the people say that, you know, you're worried about you. Well, if you're worried about me, you know, call me up, talk to me, you know, help me, but don't just say you worried about me, because you're really not.

Yeah. You're just saying, you know, you just bring it up. Yeah. You know what I mean? Just mentioning us. Yeah, like me and fucking Starvost went to the gym together. We really pushed each other that weekend. When we didn't have to, you know what I mean?

Yeah, totally. And we did. And we ate good the whole weekend. It's like, fuck you, we're eating good. That's it. That's another place that's so hard that if you can do it there You can do it anywhere just like New York on the road on the road If you can eat good and on the road you're gonna eat good anywhere because I think of the road is going on vacation

This is exciting and then that's when the dominoes come in and that's where I look for a barbecue place in each town that I go to You know what I did I got you know those rubber bands I know all rubber bands the The ones that you work out with oh bands just bands if you get what they're just bands Well, they man out of here, but the rubber bands are like rubber bands. What are the workout bands? What are they made up? Okay, but they work out They really were all that guy in the world

They're workout bands all Workout bands made of I know what you talking about I know you do because you're not dumb and you have a common sense Then that rubber bands the one he had you to he really Stop stop let it go Because you lost because you already went all right Yeah, you're right. You're right technically all right Yeah, you're right technically technically, which it means you're right Rubber they made of rubber as you the what I wanted you to say then you refused to say what are they made out of? Not not not rubber

Captain the debate team anything else besides rubber not rubber They're male, poly fiber. What about those bands, by the way? If you get a pair of those, bring them on the road. There's workouts on YouTube that will fucking kick your ass. Literally, you can do a shoulder, tricep, chest, curling, legs, all that shit. In your room, half hour, no treadmill, no fucking nothing, just doing that,

sit ups, push ups, and using that thing, you will throw up how good the workout is, and you will fucking drop a shitload of weight. Yeah, yeah, with just that rubber band, throw it in your bag. That's what I keep it in case, case there's no gym. Case the gym only has a fucking, you know, a bike and a treadmill.

Yeah. I keep that band on me. You know? Yeah. I had more on a jump rope with me, I was doing that. Yeah, that works. What are you fucking rocky? You can bring a live chicken and a cheese around too.

You suck. Jump ropes. Jump ropes work for a week and then you're like, around too. You suck. Jump ropes. Jump ropes work for a week and then you like this sucks. You know what? Jucks really good trampolines. I wish there was one of them. I wouldn't fit on the plane.

I wish they had one on McDougal Street. I'd throw you out the window right now. I want you to fat vagina bounce back up. What are you doing for working out? You look kind of jack too. Well, I'm not doing it. I'm just eating better. That's it. You're not working at all. No, I'm going to get back on the elliptical because I blew my leg out really bad wrestling.

Really? So fucking cardio. Who are you wrestling? I wrestling in high school. Oh, okay. And I turn my foot like this. I'm telling you right now. I do that.

Don't do cardio. Just do weights. Yeah. That dude. I'm telling you cardio does, yes, of course of course every school and this is sucks about this we at fat guys talking There's gonna be skinny guys going. Let me tell you I heard the podcast. You don't know what you fucking know fuck off All right, I know what I know you know what you know stay where you know Don't come where I go Let's go

Here we go ready rolls worth children's book What was it? Nice day. We're gonna have this park All right, listen, I'm telling you go to the gym do one body part or two two because you're not gonna do the cardio Do buys and tries to chat All right, well Of course you're doing buys. That's a good way to get skinny too.

Do a buy with no condom. LAUGHTER See you thin right out, Phil. All right, well listen, man, I'm glad you guys came on. I say, why don't we make a pact right now? I'd love to Let's do it. Oh what's the pact? I say how about you Chubby you in

He's going to fucking Creek in the cave to get a fucking double burrito right after this skill is the least Mexican name I've ever heard in my life. It's not still don't believe you. It's what? That's actually the least Mexican name I've ever heard of. That's like fucking made up. That's like a white guy. He's like an alternative comic name. Gilberto. That sounds like a fucking Mexican magician. Now presenting. Fantastic. Gilberto. The master of the coin. I say right now let's do this and everybody every fatty listening right now every fat fuck listening to this

podcast right now every person with a body issues every person out there listening right now I say and in this room for one month and you guys don't have to do this. I wasn't doing it. Why was it being funny? Who was that? That was you? That was good. Oh, fuck, exact. All right.

That was just mean. We don't have a, we quit. We quit everything. You're already doing it, you're already doing it. I say you do it and you do it. And you do it, Gil, goto. Thank you. Gilcat.

Gilcat. Gilcat. No sugar, no grain for one month. We come back a month from now and do a show and see what happens. See how you just, See how you feel? Yeah. Oh, come on.

Look at me. Johnny's not doing it. Johnny, look at me. Imagine, look at Johnny, imagine not sweating. No, I don't sweat like crazy. I don't sweat like crazy. I'll sweat it certain times, but not like crazy. All right, I'm really talking to the guy next to you,

but he's scared of me. No, but I'll do it. I'll do it for a month. Ooh, yes. You'll do it. Let me introduce you to our mashed potatoes. Yes. Yes.

Sean, look at me. All right, I have to look at me. Can we revise it? No, we can't already start tomorrow. Look at me tomorrow. You can start tomorrow. You can start tomorrow. But here's what we do.

Ready? Sean's toast. We're just going to do it. He wants to want to go to the public be tonight. Listen to me Done both you I'm in you're in a month no sugar no grains no sugar no grains no corn no flower No potatoes should head away and no we don't fuck we don't care about the weight We care about the fucking decision to not put this shit in our body. Okay. No sugar. No sugar. Sugar is the killer. No sugar. Okay. You can have an apple. You can have a scoop of peanut butter. Chunky even. So you have natural sugars. You can have, yes, your sugars in your carbs will come from fruits and vegetables. Okay

Listen to me look at me Look at me hearing about this pact look at me. I say we do it from month. I got month. I'll do it I'll do you sacrifice you you Catholic right? Yeah, do it for Jesus For St. Patrick. What do you think I'll do think? I'll do it. You're in? I'm in. Let's join fat fingers, everybody. Fat fingers. Fat fingers unite.

Okay, wow. So no sugar in your hands, hot and sweaty. It smells like dough. No sugar, no grain for one month. Yes. Coming back on this podcast, and we're going to talk about how we feel. You ready? I guarantee.

I will be dead, but I will do it. No, you're not. You're gonna feel fucking 100% better. Okay. All right. Now, Fatsos Unite. Yay! All right.

Let's go to the chat room real quick, and then we're the fuck out of here. What do you got? Andrew B. Mann says, Man vs. Food, these men have won every time. That was good. That was good. They're really good with fat jokes in the chat. It's their forte.

Andrew Jackson says Bobby talks about food the way my 78-year-old father talks about women. No, no. Did your dad fuck a lot? Yeah, yeah, we should have. You got a creepy old dad. Someone had the question for the room. If everyone was a food, what would they be? I'd be a cake.

I'd be a cake. I'm a fucking yellow cake double layer chocolate, milk chocolate ice cream. I mean frosting. Yeah. I would be a match potato. Match potato. I mean, match potato.

I mean, match potato. What match potato. Maybe match potato. What about you, Jack? Truck stop meatloaf sandwich. I don't know. You know what? That makes a lot of sense. I don't know. Why do you look like you work at like a Walmart?

You have like a Walmart fest. Why does never I have a gym? Jeffrey Dahmer class. What do you got there, fucker? I'm sorry. We're all tired. It's time to go. Yeah, I am tired.

I'm blood sugar's low. Yeah? We're all tired. It's time to go. Yeah, I am tired. I'm blood sugar's low. Yeah, and you just made a pact with the devil. I'm a devil. Sean is moving down there. You're gonna have to do this. He's never coming back. What would you be? I'm a nice fatty cut of pork shoulder. Oh, Jesus. What are you got?

What are you? I, Jelly Donut. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Shit, it's not like you paid Bobby to ask you that question. What kind of food are you? I'm a Jelly Donut. What about you, the fuck, and the relay, and Glacias? Pfft.

What? Porchop. You're a pork chop. What about you, Scopo? Uh, chicken collet. What about you, fucking, I make soap face? It's a steak, I guess. You're a staccoture, a collet. What about you, fucking, I make soap face? It's a steak, I guess. You're a staccoture, a lean, I'm sorry.

Is it safe to say that I brought beef jerky for you guys? Did you really have it? I did. Well, you all lied. Yeah, dude. I was like, do you make it? Do you make it? I did make it, yeah.

Artisanal grass-fed beef jerky. No. What the fuck were I meant, dude? You make your own beef jerky, you have a thing. No, I just, I've made it before, and I thought I'd make it as a gift. That's very nice, man. It's awesome. Thank you, bro. I appreciate that.

You're welcome. You're not killing us, right? No, of course not. A hobbyist meat maker is not something I usually would fuck with, but I'll try it this time. Well, just a random cool dude. I guess so. Dude, I made you dried beef. Yeah.

Dude, you know that technique? I'm saying garbage, she's in an unlabeled garbage bag. I lived in, I lived in the last year for seven years And I took my drying meat process my smoked meat thing to Brooklyn And I have some venison that what kind of meat is it? It's a Round top round wow. I'll have some what would you be interested cereal? top round. Wow. I'll have some more. Would you be interested? Serial. Oh. What type of curry dish would you be? What type of puff pastry would you be? What are you? I'm thinking I'd be like an unseasoned chicken thigh. Little fat, you know, no flavor no, what your act is

Listen man, we're gonna wrap this up. Thank you so much. So we have it. Yes, no more sugar for you Listen to me don't look at me. I'm looking at right at me right in your eyes sugars and grains Fucking beautiful. I you're already doing it. Yeah, I'm doing it. How long? Look at me. Sean Cross your fingers Sean That's just that's his hand Look at me Yeah, I'm looking at you jump out the window you're in right? I'm in yeah, I am in Yeah, definitely yeah, I'm in so we're doing this in a month. We're gonna come back a month. We come back We see this all we're gonna do how we feel no weight no, what'd you do?

How we feel and if you need help you call? Oh, yeah, okay? Fill in Michaels you guys What do you got? Follow me on Twitter and Instagram at Zach is not funny. And now add me on Snapchat at Zach Amiko's deck. Nice. Show you this. Well, of course.

Oh, Jesus, I have to go. Zach's got to get out of here. I got a seat. I'll see you later. You having tonight? Yeah, yeah. Are you late? No, it starts at 11.

Okay, buddy. Kick ass. I'll see you later. Who you rose, man everybody. Oh, Christie Chalo. Wow. Oh, okay What do you got? Follow me on my erotic Instagram account at Stavvy baby STA VVY baby. We got some great content coming up guys You're really gonna love it. So that's pretty much it But I think you're really gonna enjoy it a lot You with me and Foxboro by the way. Oh tight. I got you the snowman one of my birthday. Oh, thanks buddy

I did a snowman one for the Blizzard. You'll you guys will enjoy it. Okay, good. I didn't see it You didn't see it. I thought I didn't I option is do you want to fuck a snowman? So deal to me and you earn Foxboro together. That's my birthday weekend great Well, then when not having sugar. Yeah, we're gonna no cake no cake. No, we'll have we'll go get some barbecue Oh, fuck yeah, okay up. What do you got? You can follow me on Twitter at at shoney time and I I have an album out called manual labor face that's on iTunes And it's on comedy such records and I have another podcast I have a podcast called my dumb friends that I do with Dan St. Germain

So you can listen to that every week. It's on all things comedy. I did it. You did do it. I did do it live. He did it live. It was great. The mics went out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the stand. They had the mics went out there.

And how is the album doing? The album's doing pretty good. It's doing alright. Awesome. Yeah. Who's over at Comedy Center? Ian? Ian now.

Who's running at Comedy Center Records now? It was this girl, Danielle, and then, oh, this girl, Dara, we were dealing with her a lot. It's great. Jack Vaughn started that. Oh, really? Yeah, he started with the Gerardo, Headberg, Dane, and Lewis Black.

Oh, I didn't know that. That was he picked the four, I think four guys, he was like, these are the four albums I'd like to make. And I would like to do this with Comedy Center and start a record company. And those are the four, imagine that being the four albums I'd like to make and I would like to do this comedy center instead of regular company And those are the four imagine that being the four the four guys you pick. Yeah, you're fucking a good a massive Yeah, absolutely good. I jack fawns the shit What do you got buddy? Show more in comedy comms got links to Twitter and Facebook and I'm headlining the new hot comedy club in Yonkers March 3rd

And then they just called me to do that. Yeah, it's a. It's a it's a doing like like six seven nights a week almost Yeah, they called me to they were like pick whatever night you want for this much money a night And I was like, I don't know is it nice? It hasn't opened yet. It opens in quick. Where in Yonkers? Rich Hill, okay, that's a nice but a rich. Jamal. Yeah, Rich Hill Mall. No shit. Yep. I know that's right down the street of my house. Yeah, that Santa Fiasco. Yeah, it's a little, it's a little ghetto, but I it's right. It's close. I think I'm going to pick a couple of those. I'm doing a rockwells in Palom, Newark February 13th,

and then bananas April 15th 16th. And there's what comedy club and Hasbro cards. Great, great club. Good for you, February 13th, and then Banana's April 15th, 16th. But there's what? Comedy Club and Hasbro Crites. Great, great club. Good for you, man. And you guys, thanks for coming in, man. I appreciate it, fun. Yeah. Awesome. You had a good time.

What was that beef jerky, man? You want it right now? Apps are fucking lily. It's the coolest studio. Oh, shit. All right, we'll get it outside. Fucking skinny cocksucker. You love doing that, too.

You know what, if I knew to brought the food out, I knew that, and then someone spilled it, you would have been like, you should have get it outside. Fucking skinny cocksucker, you love doing that too. You know what, if you were to brought the food out, you would have been like, you should have produced it better. Hey, can I, so I, I, I, can you stop using my fucking coasters as workout fucking devices? I can get a little bit of lift in today. You fucking, you sitting there crunching these, fucking, alright, what do I got? What do you got, Deepz?

Oh, you can follow me on Twitter at r2deepu and this episode was great, gave me a nice heart attack. Oh, I fucked up. do you got deeps? You can follow me on Twitter at r2d poo and this has this episode was great Give me a nice heart attack. Oh I'm gonna say made my chest hurt, but then I forgot the line Jokes make my fucking everything hard years my brain. If only you had said you don't have Really anything because you're if this comes out the weekend after and then your film and I had to change my gig and Oh, I like to drive to us the new club that they're opening didn't open so I had to keep had we have to move it

So yeah, so I will be there We haven't picked the day yet. I will be picking that day rescheduling They open a brand new club in DC proper. So I will be there. Maybe you'll bring Stavros. Thank you. So go to robaquetalive.com. Make sure you check out the new, what do you got?

What do you got? Just at Chris Gopal on Twitter and Instagram. And at Lauren Cubera. All right. All right. So make sure you go to robaquetalive.com. Go to ryecast.com, excuse me, what was that? For shadowing?

Oh my god, that was pretty good. Everybody's tired, nighttime shows, they just end. So there you go. New show, Misery Loves Company, Kevin Brennan, Lenny Marcus, Riotcast, iTunes, subscribe, review, tele-friend. It's fucking hilarious. It's crazy. It's Anarchy. It's fucking awesome. So go check it out. As well as the all the other shows on Riotcast.com. You know, we try to put these shows together. We try to do this is an original show from us. Like my wife wife hates me, live with the comedy show.

These are great shows that we put together. I'm very proud of it, so check it out. And make sure you check out all these guys, go to their shows and follow everybody that's put on the show. You guys are greatest fucking fans ever. Thank you, you guys for listening, telling a friend and watching the video.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel mother fuckers If you watch this hit the subscribe button That's it if you tube it like give thumbs down every week. I hope your fucking parents die You guys next time you know what did podcast Listening to YKWD podcast podcast. Y todos los tres. En fin de aventuras te esperan. ¡Fui-paras! Vuelas desde Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com.