Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Camp Crossover!

Episode Date: May 27, 2019

YKWD crosses over with The crew from Comedy Centrals Bonfire! Dan Soder, Big Jay Oakerson and Christine Evans share an episode with Bobby during the first annual Comedy Camp! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network Riotcast.com Welcome to the funniest podcast on the Planet Earth. This is going to be a clash to find this podcast. It's no rules. It's not going to be a podcast. It's no rules. It's not going to be a podcast. It's not going to be a podcast.

It's not going to be a podcast. It's not going to be a podcast. It's not going to be a podcast. It's not going to be a podcast. It's not going to be a podcast. It's not going to be a podcast. It's not going to be a podcast. It's not fuck! That was trying to keep it like a comic-catch. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down, and sometimes it's hilarious,

sometimes it's 10-no-topics, no directions. I love doing it. Play both sides of the coin! That's how it all holds her. That's how you motherfuckers want her to do it. My podcast is popular enough where I might affect somebody's life. You never know. It's Robert Kelly, so you know what to podcast on lightcast.com. And now the bonfire with Big J. Ocroson and Dan Soder.

Feel the fun, please. I feel the fun, please. I feel the fun, please. On fait un peu de fin de fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin de la I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a

I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a

I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a plan on a girl, there's no picture to say There's no big, there's no surprise Hold me, say no, I'm a fool, I'm a fool I'm a fool, I'm a fool, I'm a fool There's no way no thing can save me A paper and a tape, a way I'm running so much, I'm a stupid kid to say

I was 12 going on 13 the first time I saw a dead human being. It happened in the summer of 1959 a long time ago, but only if you measure in terms of years. Well, holy shit, finally it happened, a bonfire by a campfire. That's real crackle. Comedy Central Radio Series 6M95, I'm Dan Soder, that's Big J. O'Kristen. This is a lost tapes, but it's at comedy camp. So it's also a mashup. You know what, dude.

From Ryan Cast, Robert Kelly know what, dude. Oh my god. From Ryan Cast. Robert Kelly joins us, everybody. Hi, guys. Robert Kelly, you know what I do? I joined you. You joined me. We joined each other. Yeah, we did.

We're by a campfire. And this is the first official bonfire. You know what, do you cross over? Yes, but this is the first time I'm catching the smoke now. Here's the person. Here's the official bird. Oh my god. Here's the official bird.

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. official bonfire you know what to cross over yes but this is the picture of the smoke out well here's the person going to murder us the official but hurts I don't care for that let's fucking I read with his head lamb is this this is the god of death not today is that the hook killer are you walking a meth out drug at a girl yeah it's wordy Jesus we got it on the first part. Wasn't my best work. This is the, but this is the first official bonfire

at a bonfire. Yes, in the woods. It's absolutely. I mean, this is great. How many years have you been doing it? For the over five years in July. Five years in July, and this is the, now this has to become a tradition.

Four years, right? We'll be entering our fifth year. Yeah, dude. Yeah, this should be tradition for sure. I should say this campfire is not just us joining us. Also, we have Mike Fini on a microphone. Hey, how's it going? From the Irish Goodbye podcast on Castage on Network.

Very true. And Ari Shafir. I mean, dude, I'm just chewing smoke right now. This is, hey, just move back a little. No way, man. Move it here. This is my fire walk I threw it

With a great spirit And when the whole white feels the way I was glory around him He's in healing suit You know what though? I feel pretty I feel pretty goddamn cool You know we should do next year read out the whole campsite and hunt each other I'll agree we're gonna get to the radio. Yeah, we hunt the open micers. Oh, that'd be so much people Yeah, it's what you bring them out and big is a big is a good thing for you We're gonna make you go mad Matt style get a TV. Yeah, and Fini and those guys really treat him worse than we do, because they just don't like them,

because they were just there. Yeah, yeah, Fini and like, Saga, Brendan Saga, little hair, just he'll be on the mic later. Yeah. We're gonna kill it to slow weapons, like the crossbow and shit. Oh, yeah.

We're gonna give them like, what's the one that you can whip it around? The Mace. Yeah. Just take one of those to the thigh and then just kind of bleed out for a while. Ari Shafir back there. Hi, Ari. Hey, what's up yo?

Yeah. Ari's dressed like he's spolunking. You look like he's gonna go to a fucking... Ari Shafir's got a full outfit for every decision he makes. He really does. It's like if he was an action figure, you could buy camping Ari. You go, oh, I don't have camping Ari. I have drugs camping at Bonneroo Ari but I don't know what camping

Ari's dress like he owns a petunia farm yeah that's a good pick the soils really nice some of these dresses look very in cancer and then he has a suit my god oh my is that why you care so much about cardinan? she loves petunian She loves Patunias. She loves Patunias. Terry was a godly woman. This is my lab door.

His name is Patunia. Thank you, Rod. I've got a three-piece suit and he goes all in on that too. It's like made for him. It's some sort of velvet. It's he looks like a nut chuck willery. Who's the one that made all the shows? Confession of a dangerous mind

What the fuck you're gonna put it on me for put it on you put it on Dan. He knows what the guy the crazy guy He said he worked for the FBI. He invented all the game shows. Come on Chuck something Chuck Smith Show by it moving on Chuck Smith can't just Google something My swarrow is on it you looking it up thank you thank you thank you so much back you're getting out produced Chuck Barrett this is vodka Becky I'm kidding oh my god dude I thought we were out there yeah that's not vlog trapped away for 20 years he just chugs the entire glass that was not vodka but there is I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'll tell you I need it. I need it now. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, here. Oh, yeah, a couple X's a couple of X's early We got a little lost and called Gabby. We were not in a good place

No one even thinks about wearing shirts. I'm gonna take something about trailers I'll take something I know the murder capital of New York is what where we're Snoopard the next town over Newberg. Yeah, the murder capital of funny story about Newberg I was dating a girl and we got an Airbnb in Newberg right off the river. We're like, oh, she's a ghost shacer. She's a ghost hunter. We met in a cemetery on Halloween. She's hunting and saying, look at her ghost. She's a ghost chaser. But we got a, we got a air. What she looks like now. Which eye chef. It has to be skinny. Dude, we went to, we took out too small for a torso. They're not small tits, but a torso is wide.

Yeah, yeah, it's just got one dead tooth. We got an Airbnb in Newburg and we turned off the highway and it just looked like a spring steam song. Like that's how sad it was. It's just dilapidated. It's fucking crazy. It's always a guy cleaning an auto part with a dirty rag. Yeah.

You know, he went through the woods today and you came back five minutes later. What happened? The trail ended. It rained ticks on Ari. Yeah. Ticks are jumping into the pe... Gabby never had an argument. Can you die?

She says if a tick goes in your peo hole, you just die. How does she die? Immediately. Who told you that? Crazy myth. Google. Google that. I Google that yesterday. You were just googling a tick in your P hole. Well Gabby now you're responsible for checking all of our P holes for ticks. We got to do a line every morning. Why not? Guys, apparently you haven't talked to a you haven't talked to a well girl in an improv

class before. Yeah. She does it. She doesn't say no. Yes, and. Yes, and keep going. It's a whole mixture. You'll die. How'd you figure that Google? When? Yes, today. She is.

I have my three-on-one class on Tuesday. Oh, I just... Yeah. Thanks, Ari. If Ari was on my go, I would have got to laugh. Fuck you at home. My poor Mike Fiendy keeps trying to give him the mic, because... This is bad. Yeah, Ari's whitt keep trying to give him the mic because it's bad.

Yeah, Ari's whittling. What are you doing? Is he really? Are you knitting? I'm trying to type my uh... Really bad. Ari is. He just get roped into unnecessary work. That's because he's um... Go on.

Smart guy. Yeah. Bobby, you with your cut off shirt on with your tattoo stick that you're gonna mob boss escaping a murder with a Giant cigar in your mouth, too. You're out here to go. Mystic Carizo is by the fire He's got to convince himself he likes his life. No, it's quiet I read my paper I play at Monies. I don't miss those goddamn horns The money? Yeah. Yeah.

I got all I need. The stars. The woman who stood by me. The kids. He goes, now, do I miss having a cognac down at the car? The argument with boys. He's a raiding. Pushing some broad down on my brajo in the back of a Johnny

Mattress concert. Sure. Who was the day? Am I getting the pizza on the cuff from Tony's uncle? Those cappuccinos outside knowing everyone respected me. Now I got this life and it's safe. Peppa Minti and I pet my cat. Bobby's got fucking witness production.

my cat. Bobby's got fucking witness production. Camping. I know it's funny. I had a dream of you have a vivid dream where it's like this. This was a memory not a dream. Yeah. My friend Steven Georgia who was kind of mobbed up back in Boston. He wound up getting killed in some fire. You know what I mean? Oh, you go AIDS bathhouse. He was uh, no he fight. I think something happened Yeah, he broke his hip and then couldn't get out of a Dunkin donuts that caught on fire wait He burned that's the most New England that's possible

Burned death in a Dunkin donuts They got the Boston Red Sox with like a moment of silence For the man who burned a death in the Dunkin donuts Why is it a fucking pulled on the inside? Do you know this fucking? What's his name? Steven do you know the story of this of the ghost of Steven He was a Swedish big motherfucker war gazelle glasses six something big guy But I had this dream where all of a sudden he was there. Is that a scream? I had this dream where all of a sudden he was there. Is that a scream?

Yeah. Sounded for sure like a blood cardling scream. Don't you? That's like a... I had no song was there really? Josh! Josh! No, that was a one and done.

The last time I was here, there was a family got kicked out of him. He got her. A family got kicked out around one o'clock in the morning. I was by my campfire and this... I always said, you fuck you mother fuck, I'll fuck you kill you. And the kids started screaming because that always happens. Right, cool.

There's always a kid screaming after that. And then there was screaming. And then the guy next to me was this big, long island guy with a Judas Priest T-shirt on him and his wife. And I think their kid had, like, was a little on the spectrum. He was just in his tail. Now he's a, you know, he was in his pants. I was broke. He was just in his tail. No, he's You know

This guy's going like this he's going fuck fuck that what the fuck is she said just let it relax And you hear him screaming more and he goes fuck that he goes hey shut the fuck up and this ghetto girl goes Fuck him murder you, cocksaka, and you hear him go, call the cops, call the cops. And they cops game, state troopers, what? And around one o'clock in the morning, they had a load up, two of these fucking bungalows, these cabins, and get the fuck out, they kicked them out. Dude, we're here to you live to camp. You're a bad guy.

And your immediate reaction was, let's come back here with 11 other people. Yeah, you gotta come back with a force, dude. We're gonna hatch you on the side of my belt. Yeah. I like to see anybody get me problems. Oh, body slam him on this fight. Are you tagging for me?

This seat is really knocking my nuts around. I'm gonna go grab one of those ones off the balcony or the adec over there. I'll sit in that one, you wanna sit? Are they really heavy? Why would you announce that in front of everybody? Well, Christine, I'm really proud of you back. You could really hold that chair. It only took us seven minutes for Christine to masculate Jay at the campfire. He's his age-trice, and I even on microphone. Which seats would, would Samus? What, what, what the seat? I'll sit there. No, I'm gonna go carry this chair. You're not gonna be able to see how easy it is

You would have what if the rest of the nights is me at all walking clinic here getting Jay cuz it was he's searching this Yeah, yeah, I'm an urgent here with you. Yeah, just jagas, too. You can go back to Yeah, I don't want to go back, but I'm telling you I'm no, I have to show Now he has to get the chair. I gotta see him get the chair trust me guys. I know how have to show the I got to see him get the guys I know how this relationship works. Jay's gonna lift that goddamn chair. Christine set what we like to call the gauntlet in their relationship. It's almost gonna be too easy.

This is what scares me and says I'm gonna have to drive Jay's car to the nearest hospital. Dan, Dan, I want you to look at me right now. I'm gonna lift all back. Oh my. I know that I'm up in right now. I'm gonna lift all back Straighten your knees This thing is going up. I mean out and up Shaking motion is my arms and my chest to a lift is a tire chair. This is gonna hit all my C5

I'm focusing all of it right on my I'm calling her right now hold your breath. I'm doing I'm doing lower lumbar. Yeah, the entire time You guys I don't give a fuck if I have to get these things fused tonight I'm getting that chair over here. We use the fire. We'll fuse you back on the fire. Yeah Coffee in my back surgery. You do. We'll do a Rambo back surgery for you All right, see if everything works. You're not tired. Yeah, you got heavy. All right Get up. We get really like it splits uncomfortable from skeptic tank and punch stroke sports Orange you're inside welcome to the campfire bonfire you go middle can fire bonfire you go try and go Yeah, triangle seems right I need you to acknowledge the name can fire bonfire. Thank you

It's all about branding in 2019 can we just say bonfire bonfire you know what dude bonfire just say bonfire They don't know how big it is bonfire Guys listen, there's a lot of titles working here. I'm just trying to get the look at how it is Course drinks you thought I was falling over You just chuck it right over here. Oh, you know what actually I brought some plate some weights from my gym I got a 35 and a 45 plate in there. Could you put that on a chair? Put it down on water. Yeah, could you give me a gallon of water

and the refrigerator? Straight back. Straight back. Oh, that's a waste shit. He's couldn't be blessed. Don't put on your head this ticks on those chairs. They're awkward in that place. That's all that tick catcher.

That's a tick catcher. Jay, I just want to let you know right now that I always knew you were the strongest man in the world and I try to tell people that and no one listened to me. No one. But now everyone fears your strength and can I remind you just who is there in the beginning? If somebody go fucking turn my bed down. Hey, can somebody put another log on the fire? I do gotta be honest.

What? I have gotta be honest. What? I have log and nuts in you, and this doesn't bother me at all. You do have long nuts though. No, back here. I want to take it especially on the fire. Bobby, you do this on a weekday, which is smart, so none of us are on the road.

Well, yeah. Yeah, you gotta do it like that. We're fucking weekends are from amateurs. Yeah, we can't do weekends. We're always on the road. But we usually, even when me, are of camp before, we've before we've done this before. Yeah, remember we did it all together. We did. Yeah, that was the first one. Yeah, we were supposed to go, we were supposed to be on the woods, but it rained up and sanded up. We got it nice. Yeah, yeah. Me and you guys went and drove around

and got high and then me and I were going for hike Yeah, and then I could dinner I would have walked right to watch the history of Chicago The night wait, that's what you didn't start hiking Yeah, yeah, I tell you right now. That's why I love Jay because if I'm not in the an absolute hiking mood I would love to just sit around and watch a documentary to camp. It was a nice place Bobby Cartier some man right Sago up fan let me let me tell everybody like we know it is we all take took our roles yeah like I cooked like I became the wife for some reason I cooked dinner for the boys you have a lot

of cheek kisses no Bobby you were the grandma I was the wife I cleaned I was right behind you clean yeah yeah yeah yeah I think dick daddy are you, yo, are you going down the hunter? Everyone call are you big dick daddy from now? I found it Bobby the Bobby cooks every meal was like a full wedding meal Different kind of bread I love that body goes. Oh guys. Oh fuck. I left it here. I'm a sue in the other Here's some nice pairings for our boy for our boys

our boy sausage Here's some nice pairings for our boys, for our boys, our poor sausage. Now I figured by the first dance. We had a wild poor sausage. We had a certain cheese. I think I make a chakurri plate. We had a long time ago. Yeah, he did. Every meal. Yeah, after every meal was like a painful like man. Let's just sit. Was it just for three? Yeah. Yeah, Yomineka pls out. Yomine's supposed to go, but her mom good.

Her mom had the idea of the black lives matter. Yeah, she said, she said, you can't go in the woods with three white boys. So she wouldn't let her go. But we had two. When she told us first that she said, her mom said it was inappropriate for to run off with three white boys in the woods. And then Yomineka had to eventually tell us it was way blacker than that.

And she just our mom told her it's like, don't go into the spooky woods with spooky white people who are going to do something we are like, she thought it was going to be more like heinous like ritual. It is weird that we are just a wildlings of races. We just come out of the woods. Swipe people are real comfortable. And it's the one place we dominate.

Yeah, woods. Woods serial killing. Woods. Woods serial killing. Oh man, we blend in the nature. We're in metal gods. Yeah, you burn down churches in the middle of the forest. If it's a heavily wooded river, you're fucked. If there's a bunch of white people around.

We have sailed it. We have scaled it. You get us in a rainforest? Lost. Done. Done, Skow. Great plains. Open field. Fucked. You put me me a 14 minute walk from the closest highway

I'll own your ass Just fire you shifting and sometimes when I use so fun. This is the worst you're better the line. I know dude Where it's hard? I'll walk the line. There's a great day It's just going to be a fire. Why are you sitting in back draft? Yeah, I will let the fire in the back of that house. Yeah, and how kind of creepy that was late at night. Oh, yeah We went out there. We heard something to them. That was a house. There was really no outside that there was no one there Nobody did it was in the middle of nowhere. It's got to get some fun. So he No, I thought you just throw the mic in and burn it. Look at it.

I know. It's cool. It costs your money, but I guess I know. Are you doing, I already doing classic radio? Yeah, yes. Thank you. Get the rainstick in the thunder. So much.

Yeah, go get the thunder. Go get the, go get the, go get the, go get the, go get the, go get the, go get the, go get the, go. Are you heating your microphone off? Yeah, literally. I'm the feeling like I should run into it. Yeah. Face, go and fire.

Are you, you know, fireworks? I like it. Yeah. Face going fire. Are you know fireworks? I think I already think he's doing a fully job for an old movie. Like a sound of it. I can't. I'm like definitely for yours. I was that how was that you know what dude bonfire they go. It's mostly ambiance noise of fire. It was fire crackling. I'll take it. Fire with Jane Jane Dan is just listening to Bonfire. Yeah. This, I sleep like this. It's an out of a bitch when that is a me and Dan

just put out a two hour audio you will love. Yeah. Dude, we absolutely need to release that as the first album on Comedy Central Radio. You will love an audio you'll love called the Bonfire. And they all do it. Dude, it's depending on an official Comedy Central album. And then it's just,

you will lock like 99 cents. Because I got to deal. I'll do you got to do that. Every Christmas. Yeah. No, we should do that. We should do a Christmas special album. All of you know it.

And it's like, what is it? It's just ambiance noise. One's, Slave Bells for three and a half hours. Yeah, but it's ambiance noise by a fire up here and just yeah, ah, screaming. Ah, did everybody hear a scream? I heard a scream for sure. I've learned to drown them out.

It's New York. I hear a feening listening to fucking YouTube right now instead of us. He's looking up local news to see what that scream was. I haven't watched his bed. Anything breaking and anything breaking in play skill Yeah, this is out of Newberg baby girl burned it at you know what the fuck at a campfire. Oh god The motor capital of New York doesn't let us down once again The old Newberg love camping on a Monday night was recently lifted. Why was that a law?

Why was that law you couldn't do that? You think we might get evil dead at tonight? That'd be pretty cool. There was a law? No. Oh, sorry. I was lying. Sorry.

Man, it's got cooler, finally. What's going to get down to 65 tonight? Bobby, really bad. Ash said, no one ever said the word down to 65. Yeah. It's going to be 65. It's not down. That's not cold. It's not chilly. Have you stepped outside of 65?

It's so what? No fucking freezing. No, no, 65. I can't do that. No, I'm not. I can't do that. No, I'm not. I'm not. I can't do that. No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I can't do that. No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I can't do that. No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I can't do that. No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I can't do that. No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm actually about side on that bench if you fucking get in and out of that fucking hang in hammock thing you put our in earlier three times Bobby what kind of what is that? Yeah, it's like Nate's joke like are you saying ham it? Are you saying? It's a mock it's a floating cat. I'm a mock hammock. These guys this company said me are you saying? I'm having a joke. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock.

I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock.

I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock.

I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having a mock. I'm having it? Why are you screaming at me? What's the jury? The jury's out on it. I Know it's gonna be like to sleep on it. We've slept on it once. I'll tell you I look like a buffoon in it Well, I think Ari looks sexy. She's they have a brand new one and I told him this back in the day They were like let us send him an XL that's coming out But we didn't wait we took the regular size. I think Ari should have the XL probably I'm six What do you want to tell I have the regular but I'm only five eight and a quarter five eight and a quarter

So I'm gonna get I'll tell them the X level with the lady In a cool give that one to your girl Nice, did you hear that so they make lady tense? Well my size Kristen You want to hang like Jesus from two trees? Hey Jay can I talk to you? I just I like a lot of your jokes, but I feel like that one really hurts That's where the bonfire starts breaking up when I get oddly religious out of nowhere. So worst guys my new girlfriend soon Jin said that get oddly religious out of nowhere. So where's guys? My new girlfriend, Soon Jin, said that,

Laura, he's standing a really Catholic Korean girl. I think this joke's really limited now. Dude, I know we talked about this before, when I got to, you know, things, everyone here's funny. When I got to the Caroline's on Thursday, Jason Steinberg was there with his wife. No way. Last year. I haven't seen him in years. He's been there.

He introduced me to his wife and then he goes, there's a surprise for you in the in the green room waiting for you. I go, it was Billy Burr's head. Oh, no, he's like, this surprise me. I really go, that's what you have to leave. I felt bad. I was going to like open something or something he gave me, whatever. And I turned the corner to the green room and it was

Evan's time for her. He's like, what's up buddy? Just started drinking. It was just like a cowboy. Yeah, I mean, yeah, sort of. No, vice cop from the late 80s. You saw him too, Dan, right? Yeah, Evan's got the biggest piece too, by the way. Really? Is he really?

I remember I was just a baby I mean it's a fat-ficky Soda down fell over harsh So the fall over Man My my hat you brought me down what was that chair the one that I was on? Move by the hatchet that bad hatch Yeah, dude You went from voices to slap the commissar target You can see the fear this what oh

I started tumbling sorry that the knowledge of of Evan's big piece, nothing ever. Looks like my chair went, whooopsie dude, old. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa What is that? Terrible. Dude lights. God damn it. My gosh. You're a pirate. You're a pirate. I didn't tell me we were having an orgy here this weekend. I'm fucking crazy is that this is the perfect scenario for a horror movie. Oh dude, that's what I'm saying on our drive up here. On our drive up here listening to music.

I was like, this is the kind of music. It was new before you hacked a death. But there's no handsome leading man. We're all just the comic relief that gets killed. No one cares about. Yeah, we're all the witch that seconds. We can't we can't have any TNA shots because it's 2019. Yeah, we're all first hour.

We're all first hour deaths. Because the first three biggest hits are dudes. Yeah, exactly. Guys, I'm just going to say this, this bench is wobbly too. So if I go over twice, dude, that's what I let you know I'm fucking Chevy Jason it. Jay Davis is calling you for a spot the last factory That's me that's me you get it. Good He's calling Bobby for a spot the land factory tell him what we got

Speak a phone right speaker speaker. You got a a talent you got a talent. It's illegal It can't use it. I did I did well on campfire and speaker phone on campfire and and give me the hotdog yeah I miss you buddy. I'm so Tommy's on radio You can't say on radio dipshit or notice you can't say No, I'm not gonna be I like I don't like doing your shows very much to be honest. Give me the phone It's always been kind of a fucking bus kill. Hey Jay listen Jay Jay That's our you're you're on the bonfire. We're on doing radio right now live

So I'm gonna fall for that awful impression. That was on the radio right now. That was not a good Impression it really bothers me that you fucking thought that was me by the way Dan are he's coming for your impression game Impressions, what do you gonna do right? That's a name it's I'm looking up impressions. What do you think I'm doing right now? I'm Bobby who can I do man? Who can I do also Jay nice try I've evolved almost slapstick guy Fucking Dan tripper We have an impression off the Jay Davis is the as the blind judge

Everyone is Bobby Bobby I'm convinced all four were him I'll say it all of them were Robert Kelly. I know you're gonna say this is ridiculous right now Robert Kelly three out of do to for playing crashed I'm gonna get lost you think I'm gonna scream was Dude if I look up and you see a fuck you with 737 coming in you was a plane with top down Some clean fucking air out here guys Paul verse you going back to Westchester airport

He's been flying to Westchester ever now. No. It always comes up on the kayaks church I'm like what the fuck it? I'm fucking it's not gonna hear smf. It's 20 minutes from my house So it is easy and TSA is easy. You just park where you literally park and walk across the street and go on the terminal And it's like how you'll buy me I I'm coming in. Yeah, that's it. How expensive are the flights? It's around 30,000. 30,000. Hey Mike, can you look up if there's been murderers

in this camping site? Oh, good call. Get no ghost stories. There has to be. Do you think people have gotten murdered here? Oh, in this thing. Yeah, yeah. Oh, this story of John Tante Jones.

What? Oh, it's a real basketball player's name. I'm trying to make a point. Dude, that'd be fucking... You really do emerge from the woods like a ghost girl. Yeah, I should pound this really comes in a plate here. I'm here to build fire. Mother took my family.

Mother put me in the fire. Now I teach mother. She said she'd like to watch it dance all around me. Father said I had doll eyes. Becky, we're not hobos. Yeah. She goes, oh, this will cook that can of beans. Yeah, that's great.

We're not fucking. She's got a flash frying of alligator. You know, you got to keep the flames down so the security from the train people Okay, let's see you This is Dan Land It's time fucking so to try to get his own suit fire with with close to the gator. That wasn't at all What happened? What was it gator? What was a fan an early fan? It was actually another comic named Neil drew a picture of a thing a Gator fight. This is the thing that Jermaine Fowler and I used to yell out at really shady

bar show. So me and Deros had called them on the, you know what, they've podcasted and we trashed him. You didn't call me. You called me at work and I was still waiting tables. And you go, did you know what we're feeling? We got to do a podcast tonight. And I was like, yeah, of course, I'd love to come over and do a podcast. He's like like, yeah, of course I'd those come over to a podcast He's like, all right, dude. I'm like I'm just close up cafe now and I'll change it all come over and I walked over I was like God is podcast and I walked in and Joe and Bobby beat the shit out of me For probably 90 minutes verbally about this fucking how I change my profile on Twitter He's trying to get he's trying to sufi. I wasn't trying to get it So far it's a sufi. What was it? It's a damn gator fight

You're still at Eastville all the time with you bombing. I go, whoa y'all are two gators coming out the mark Damn gator fight Good Bobby's old T-shirts. Oh my god. quick. Oh my gosh. He should re-print those. He's crazy. People loved it. It really worked against us. Because when he did it, people were like, that's the funniest thing we've ever had. Well, the most real thing was, I think like two episodes later, it was the, when Patrice

passed and then like, Dane Cook was in town for the funeral. And they did an episode and he shit on me for God damn Gator fight. He was like, making fun of me, I'm like wait, you did the sufi though. This is what it's all. But you got made fun of by sufi. Yeah, you're trying to do your sufi. I was trying to do sufi. I thought it was a fun thing to yell out at a bar show.

You're a bomb. People don't sufize. What is to you guys not? Guys, let me look into the flames to see what the future holds. I know the other way. What's up? It's under like you don't know what it is. What is this? This one? Like you're so alt. I know the other way. Some pretend like you don't know what they're doing. No, what is this? This one? Like you're so alt.

Oh, yeah. Sorry. I don't know. You were sitting there resenting his Sufi in LA. I was under the engrossed message board. All right, guys, you. You want to Sufi T-shirt, you piece of shit? Yeah, it was a long go.

We know that you didn't know what that was. Hey, long go. Hey, Rafifi. We're talking to it. I remember being called a club comic. I was like, he's a club comic. I'm talking it. I remember being called a club comic I was like he's a club comic and like you're like what me to what a stupid comment? Tell him the thing to say was that the Creek in the cave real comedy is happening in the local bar scene Oh, do you guys want to go to a Mexican restaurant on a Tuesday and see real comedy?

Something with no quality control. Yeah, it really is a resentful. Let's go watch a girl. Shit out an onion. I would love to. Is that around here? They did that They did what they did that these villains when they the real alternative show. No, no, no, no, the layers are gonna come back It's gonna be a problem. She pushed a non-union out of a pussy. No, it wasn't an onion. They talked to Jay's layers, dude in an onion. They're talking to Jay's and my layers, dude. I think it's going to open up inside of her. No way. No way. No way. Because someone's got the flaking. Yeah. The appeal with it. No way was an onion. Tomato. No, not even a tomato. Some more dense. No, I'm not saying it a lot. It might have been our first only time she did. What about an apple? I'm saying it's not coming out. Oh, he's saying it came out. I'm saying, although you put an onion up your ass. You don't know that. The whole onion ain't coming out. What

if it was a what if it was a Vidalia? No, the outside case stays in and then pops out. The outside stays in. Right. Like you're going to pour it. Like you're going to shoot like a you're going to shoot like a an average size, Dick's worth of onion back out of your it'll be an onion pimple getting popped out of the cocktail onion.

Oh, well, no, no, no, that's not impressive. Yeah, that's like smaller than an anal bead. Yeah, like pickled like in the, man, it's real do anal beads. Yeah, it was a small rather small onion. Well, let's get this girl on those Skype and see if she can be great. Yeah, I think this girl's really playing lowball. Like a soup onion.

Yeah, I think it was a soup onion. Basically what you're talking about right now is like when basketball didn't have black meat. Yeah, that's what she's passing kidney stones. It's just like a lot of dribbling and passing and that wasn't what was up to. Yeah, sure. Remember back in the day, what he used to do, like the pink pony and. I remember, I remember,

I did a lot of shows of Rick Shapiro and I remember that the top of his bush was always out of the top of his gene. Yeah, I know. I was sexy move. Always had his beam right at the top of his face. Yeah, those little low cut fucking. Why?

Because I think because he bought jeans that were vintage That's the way they were back then and back down. Yeah, you had a little push. I think he had an exceptionally large bush I think you know No, I'm gonna cut it was normal jeans. No normal jeans worn low Then also very full-muff generous. I would call it a generous piece. Generous muff. That's a sexy thing though. That's like an old rentals play girl thing. Like comable hair. Yeah. Yeah.

Having right ladies, muff, 70s muff on dudes. Gap is giving a thumbs up. I like when you're a giz inside of a girl and the gush of hair and com comes out. What the fuck? No, yeah. Let's show we are right now Literally, what are you talking about? How are you doing? Just because of that, son? Are you talking about a cream pie with hair? Yeah, cream pie.

Yeah, with tons of hair off a bush. If you don't trim that bush, you're getting a bunch of stuff in that. Oh, man. We should call that a cat breakfast. Looks like a cat threw up its breakfast. Looks like Don Rickles hair. Yeah.

Do you have a hair? Body, Bobby. No, I don't. I have hair. I have weird hair. I don't have hair from my ankles down, because of my socks. I think my socks killed the socks. Oh, yeah.

I've definitely burned off my fucking, I've definitely burned off some hairs from socks or something, I have shure. And then I don't have hair, a little bit around my nips, and I have hair on my belly, I guess, but I'm not hair. How much hair on your belly? Just like a little couple of my nips and I've here on my belly I guess but I'm not here. How much hair on your belly just like a little couple kisses of hair? I mean it's I mean it's get worse that I got older but now it's younger I had no hair. You were so when you were chatting you were chatting?

You were chatting. You were chatting. That Bosexie Bobby no hair. No hair. No hair. No hair on my bum no hair on anything. Joe DeRosa has a torso muff. Joe DeRosa is fucking something else. Joe Joe lookseroza has a torso muff. Joe Deroza is fucking something

Hell Joe Joe looks like he got rolled in hair Spirit gum and some one rolled him through a fucking Threading floor. They are mr. Deroza. Yes, son is at puberty. We need to cover him in this gummy like soft It's a roll around in the air. Yeah, he's and his is he's where studio hair all over It's a roll around in the air yeah, he's and his is He's working studio hair all over his body Yeah grown up hairless. That's gotta be bad-ass cuz you look all jacked Yeah, I was I getting hair later in life is a weird thing. I got hair in my ears The last ten years so in this year my wife got me laser laser surgery They're a surgery laser. Sorry laser on my ears and it's fucking worked. Oh, I want to get that working Murphy's that she got him

I'm on her ears gone over our many ears. Yeah, yeah I'm in line to get your nose The fucking runaway hair. Yeah, they'll do you know, but let me tell you something. Yeah, the first time you go the first two times You go yeah, the laser, if it's gray here, it doesn't work. If it's black hair, it works way better. But it when it hits that black hair, it fucking you get zapped. Why does it gray hair not work? I don't know. Let me think. I know that it dodges the laser. They're older and wiser. They can see that laser coming and hide. Respect for their elders.

Blending in the air. But I hear my ear, because Dawn, about 10 years ago, plucked one hair on my ear. And then it just went ballistic. And it was bad. Like I could, like a windy day, I felt it. That's what happened to my shoulder. I just have like a little light dust thing right now,

but it popped up out of nowhere. I don't want to get it. I got one. get it taken off Yeah, she and this girl's great bear to be didn't Dare to be bear is what it's called here to be there and can we do neck down? Well, she do a whole neck down service. They'll do everything You guys just hear that walking through the woods. Yeah, is that why you're looking backwards? Oh, Chris

Got you on me. Hey, white girl, go check it out. You know what you should do is you should get a flashlight and say a couple times. Stop playing around. Not even kidding, that's something. It's feeding probably. Do we? Oh, let's break. Yeah, let's break. We get eaten by a bear. That's great. We'll take a break. We'll go right back or we won't be. It's the ball shapes. We hope. It's ball fire to campfire. TRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE And now back to the bonfire with Big J. Ocarus in and Dan Soder. We talked into the night. Kind of talk that seemed important until you discover girls.

Alright, alright. Mickey's a mouse. Donald's a duck. Who does a dog? What's Kuffy? Welcome back to the Bond Fire at the campfire Comedy Central Radio Series XM 95. It's a you know what dude bonfire Crossover on dance under that's big Joe percent you joining us to do himself Robert Kelly hi and Ari Shafir yeah the Sun is away so the guns are

gone yeah guns are all I should fear riddle with ticks I've been fired a couple a couple a couple already up how many have you pulled out I So the guns are gone. Yeah, guns are all I should fear. Rital with ticks. I've been found a couple of couple already. How many of you pulled out? I pulled one off me and then one out of the sleeping bag. Well, that's horrible news. That's everything I was like, why are we going camping? That's the reason.

Saga is working on a joint over there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, do you have a cop? And I'm wearing a wire. It's called a microphone. That's a good point. It's one of the obvious wire.

It's the most obvious wire. I don't know how subscriber that in Sagalow has guy who rolls a joint into floppy work boots face. Yeah. Oh my god, I finally see you in your natural habitat and I understand everything. That's, this is the poster you were made to be on. Yeah, you know, it's like when you see an animal on a nature documentary and like,

how's that thing not dead and then you see it getting the waters of the guy? Oh, it moves so fluidly and beautifully. Yeah, yeah, you're like, yo, you're on his feet. All Brennan's missing is a sweatshirt that says no fat chicks. Yeah, he definitely needs auras hoodie with the zigzag guy on the forest. Zigzag guy. He's got the zigzag guy. The lean back.

Gabby, Gabby looks like the wife of a lead singer of a famous band and they're just gotten off tour and she's like, we just got a nature and we get away. Kind of keep free. It's like a lot of songs inspired by her home her hymns I have a lot of thoughts about my burning man outfit this year guys. What is it? I want to stare at the fire for a while you know depression Very hard not to just I'm serious Bob the really serious Bob well except for the fact would do Bobby in the radio In these moments you missed you missed me able to get high

That's a fucking great question. Now the high thing, I, I have to admit that I went drinking no because I was a terrible violent drunk, but high, I was just eating, didn't stop her. Stop her from getting fired from a couple drops. I've never had to use like a time for some violence. Did you ever have any fun pleasant drinks? No, you never want that one. No, anytime I got drunk, I got no fight. I got beat up. Usually what we did.

You're like 13, right? I started drinking heavy. I started drinking at 10. I started drinking heavy at 13, 14, 15. Wow. What? I was drinking. I could drink by the time I was sucking cock by 16. No, no, that was first grade I mean willing to dig for a steak. I think we're answering your ads No, I could drink a pint of white label scotch. I could half sip the bottle Like I could one sip half the bottle. I mean so I could just Take half the bottle and then I would slow sip the rest of it and I would drink like a rack of talls

That was my that was my night At what point would you get sent to berserker mode? That I mean pretty my every night. I got I drank to get fucked up really every night every night I drank to get fucked up I never drank that was 13 We used to we used to drink like Every night every night I drank to get fucked up. I never drank. That was 13 We used to we used to drink like Southern comfort. Yeah, that's what my mom drank and I would know how to make a Southern comfort man Hattener. I was like 10 years old. Yeah, we'll have a drink for my mom when she came home from work It was like she wouldn't hit him. No

Easier the night would definitely be easier. She wouldn't have sex with his friends and make them watch. It's true the night would definitely be easier. She wouldn't have sex with his friends and make them watch. It's true. But that's not all I wanted. That was the greatest though. I remember getting so fucking high. I remember we smoked two cheech and chong balls. Cause back then it was just weed.

Are you gonna tell a story now about putting like corn chips in a fucking cheesecake or something? No, I don't know why. We got so fucked up one time man. No, we overhead bacon pancakes. We actually robbed a up one time man. No, we we overhead bacon pancakes We actually robbed a mafia owned pizza store. That's pretty reckless No, I found that it was a mafia own place a week week later when the the cops arrested my friend They didn't get me and the cop pulled me over he goes He goes there's a warrant for you. It got lost. I'm going to get it right now

And I'm doing you a favor because the the people on that Italian restaurant They're looking for you too. They're gonna break your legs and You're 13 at this age. Yeah, I was 13. Yeah when someone tells you that when you're gonna take any shit And I know I took shit. You already five eight I heard yeah, I do that. I got beat up a lot But when someone tells you that 13 years old I can't the mob's looking for you for 13. Yeah, so now you got to fight puberty and the mob. Yeah.

Did you really like fuck this? I went and got fucking Hey you leave me alone I'm not afraid of you don't you know? I was scared when I got out Because I got arrested that night and I know when he came back and got me and I went to jail for a while I went to JVG for a while but when I got back out was when I was scared because I didn't know I didn't know what happened yeah so but a year's late I found out that a friend of mine's father who's a boxing promoter squashed it really while we're yeah he

squashed it for us what did you just do? Just say you're dumb kid. He just had a talk with him, told him what it was, and said, look, they're friends of my sons, they fucked up, they didn't know blah, blah, blah, and they squashed it. Dude, you're like a fucking Mark Wahlberg of the Colossary. This all fucking scared of us.

I went back there from my uncle, every year would have a birthday party for my grandfather, and he'd always have it at a different restaurant. One year, he had it at the fucking restaurant. And the restaurant knew who you were and knew who you did. Listen, I was years later when I got sober. So I was, I think I might have been doing comedy

at the time, and I went back to the restaurant. I was fucking shitting my pants the whole time. Just waiting for somebody to go Hey, can I talk to you for a second? Hey, Mr. Fabrizio You speak to you in the walking cooler, but upstairs is a pizza place, but I never I didn't understand it was 13 Downstairs is a restaurant that nobody really went to yeah, you know what I mean? That's right off like you would go down there, but there would always be like a couple guys. It's like for them

It was for them. It was for them. Yeah, it's a restaurant. She has just a pizza place. Great pizza, by the way. How do you know? Well, you gotta say that, you're pushing. It's obligated for forever.

What else are you gonna say, you're plus? How did you rob it, though? Well, the girl who was, there was a girl running her. She was so, she was this girl in my social studies class. She had a big fucking nose, a tying girl with a big nose. That's kind of my thing. I just love a fucking huge nose. You want suckling?

You're a fucking bush, why not? Oh yeah. Would you lick a nose? Just a perfect body with a big nose. Are you a nose sucker, dude? It's like a big nose. Is it Japanese business man? Yeah, I want to lick a Yonos.

I want to lick a Yonos. I want to lick a Yonos. I want to lick a Yonos. I want to lick a Yonos. I want to lick a Yonos. I want to lick a Yonos. I want to lick a Yonos. I want to lick a Yonos.

I want to lick a Yonos. I want to lick a Yonos. I want to lick a Yonos. I want to lick a Yonos. I want to lick a Yonos. I want to lick a Yonos. I want to lick a Yonos. I want to lick a Yonos.

I want to lick a Yonos. I want to lick a Yonos. I want to lick a Yonos. I want to lick a Yonos. I want to lick a Yonos. I want to lick a Yonos. I want to lick a Yonos. I want to lick a Yon. I want to lick a Yon. I want to lick a Yon. I000 to kiss her belly button. But we went in there. I was talking. Yeah, that's all. I was trying to pick up this girl for years. Yeah. And she always blew me off. Sorry, Bobby, only what you'll say me out

is if you roll up the place. So I was sitting there talking to her. My friend Frankie, who was older than me, or a lot tougher than me, he was fucked up. He went into the kitchen, and he told the two kids, he actually beat the kid up the chef He beat him up like a week ago. So he went and he goes look what taking the money You tell him those two black kids or I'm gonna fucking kill you

So they were like whatever he went out tried to get the money out of the register couldn't do it cuz he was so fucked up I was holding her hands like listen. It's okay. You're gonna be all right. Don't worry about it So what you were a real man just like your friend was terrible Yeah, so then I went up to, I went up and took the money because I know how to open the register, but I was trashed. So I took the money, I was fucked.

I think we drank like a case each of Old Bill Waukey. Yeah. So we were running away, and I tripped on the curb, and I brought my pinky finger over to my index finger. And the money went flying everywhere. And Frankie grabbed all the money and he brought me to his house. He's like, I'll fix it. I'll fix it. So he was like, come here for a second. I'm going to take care of it. And I'm like, no. So I ran away. And I went outside to a pay phone. I called an ambulance. I called 911s. They hung up on me So then I saw these old-

Wait, did presidents? Yeah Was it the leather gloves over refrigerator that knew that? That's what you guys were doing for you? I get it. That was a good... Jihyna dumpster and then pop up shooting two guns Haha I want up those these two old ladies on the street

And I just went in front of them and dropped to the ground instead of screaming and held my hand up because it looked fucked up. It looked all grizzled and narwhy. So they called the ambulance and they took me to the hospital. But you know what's fucked up is that. You're a terrible criminal. Great story, tell me.

You didn't get much of a guilty. You had plenty of guilt. Yeah. So they arrest me. I go to court. This girl girl the DA This is fucked up God heard a lie

Who the fuck the girl? She's on the radio she's on the stand is that a tick? Yeah It's a fucking bug I think you just Touch me your fucking fingers Never give me that microphone ever. Ash, dude. So she, the DA got this girl to lie. She was on the stand saying that he, he helped me back.

He was holding me, telling me that he would kill me with these red. Miss Santino, is it or is it not true that you were in love with Robert Kelly that day? So she, she, she sent me to fucking jail, right? It's hairl this jack's body Did he kiss his clout? Out of that v-neck shirt and telling you to be okay you knew it'd be okay cuz you can tell I recall you Yeah, I recall Robert Kelly holding your hands. You things are gonna be all right

So she so I got sober. I was around 18. I'm at a disco. Yeah Disco tech she shows up looking good she's fucking everyone's gonna surround your own dance floor you got you're doing the hustle and I mean the actual hustle you know step by step I walk up to her she's fucking nervous yeah and I and I said why did you lie on the stand that time this is yours she goes I told you they she goes, they told me I had to. Who? The DA, they said she had to lock. She said you have to, you have to say this. Yeah. This is all part of my documentary, the case against, she was going to get trouble because they

thought she might have been part of it too. She goes, you tell us, you said that he got Bobby did you? I don't know I don't know I maybe I don't think so are you hungry? I don't know I want it too. I don't know So what did she say when you confronted at the disco tech? She uh, she said I'm so sorry, but I pop you don't understand my life was in a bit I want you You don't understand my life was in a bad place Strayed my back. Yeah, oh my god. My mom was dating Ray Bork Then they broke up And now when squander We live it in squander Bobbie

Squaler squaler We live it in squander by I mean squander squander You've done fucking boss and bitch see I was in character and seen high I'm standing sort of from billions fucking pickle I'm here to work. Yeah slippery Slope Don't take a picture of me next to the fire without my hat Flong Christine you have betrayed dance dance I should have put my cowboy hat dance odor of my fl- I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the

I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the

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I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the that make it. Oh, we're good. That's a good one. Sag, you want to come in? Hey lady. Some tell me, some tell me already wants to make a small. You are correct. Red and tag a lot of joining the show. I'm getting the, I'm getting a score from Fini to come in. I can't feel man.

The first one's the one that hurts the first bite of a small. Well, I think I am, I'm heading out. I'm going to enjoy this more Mike Fy from the Irish goodbye podcast back on the bike And I brought some took a bite of the s'more before Bobby took it and they just got liquid hot marshmallows stuck at the top of the roof Is mouth for sure, I'm just I did not bargain that well now. He's I promise you he's gonna feel everything just happened Way through tomorrow to using using no making s'mores without like actual poles is so gross You always get like that stick residue inside your mouth. There might be ticks on this. Oh, yeah, you're everybody's eating Ticks

Or some some diabetic pissed on Yeah, I'm honestly particularly buscass in America. It's weird. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's. Yeah, borrowed from James. I'm convinced Becky's like, now she's just raised in the woods. She's feral, she's home right now. Sine now. We'll see you in the video of that lady, like who just runs like a dog, she just runs like a dog. Oh, she runs on her voice, she jumps over. And jumps through a cage.

It's crazy. Sad, yeah. I thought you had to be missing a piece of like your back. Yeah. Oh my God. We're gonna see her like sleeping like, It's crazy. I thought you had to be missing a piece of like We're gonna see you're like sitting like sleeping like brawl bald up. Yeah, Becky Arey shirt says I like to cram my big cock into your Yeah, I mean that's the shirt what a shirt when you first Can buy it to the person who said it dash eyes and how are yeah Dude, I thought you were wearing like I thought you were wearing like sarcasm is my only language

Yeah, I like lost so much respect for you when you showed I was like Oh, Jesus go way more bad Where's big a zero? Yeah, I thought it was never one year o'clock somewhere. Yeah, the voices in my head say hi or something like that. Yeah, you're a very efficient equipment. I used to wear all those t-shirts. They slowly read it. And cargo shorts.

Oh, dude. That was my fucking look, dude. There used to be a website called tshirthell hell.com. Yeah tshirt hell.com They still send me fucking emails. I had a I had a I had a lot of great shirt off there that said Jesus did it for the chicks And it's Jesus on the crosswind king. Yeah, yeah, more to a grocery store Do you know what I was like don't wear that shirt and it was just it scared me enough that I was like that's an inside shirt now and it was just scared me enough that I was like, that's an inside shirt now. Teacher and hell used to bump me out

because I used to go on it all the time. Love the shirts, but even if it was my size when it showed up, it wasn't my size very quick. Yeah, yeah. So, and then I just made me upset, and that's when I developed my long-term plan to make awesome shirts for Fat Guy. Dude, let me tell you about Jay's dream.

It's my thing. It really is, it's the way I've never been listening more to anything. I want to make a lead zep one with the angel leaning back like that with the wings three quarter length softball tee for fat guys. Doesn't exist. I'm not going to lie when I say this. If someone has been listening and properly invested in Jay's idea of cool t-shirts for fat guys, yeah, yeah, millionaire.

What's the Bobby Kelly off-mike saying Brian Scalaro has the best fat guy t-shirt. He calls it the black t-shirt. Oh, the black t-shirt. Yeah, you go check out. That Brian Scalaro on. He's a funny man. Yeah Don't say that and are you look how much marshmallow you're eating off just that stick are you gonna suck that off? Why are you not taking it off in one bite? No, there's a side to mark man. You had a second bite. Yeah, you should smear that on two pieces of bread And then a fluff another are you not gonna get a tick to clean it off you fucking slut Over your mouth just your mouth, but look at Jay while you do it put your mouth So gross love being dirty

You love being you're so fucking filthy love it. That's right. They can't get you if you harass men Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Spectacularismos, lincones de película y un sinfín de aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Huelades de madrida Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Bolotea Sarifa sujeta a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. Man, he realmente conluido los momentos de la historia de la historia y la pared. Yo creo que ha pasado la vida, pero se ha estado estirando en la pared. lose the momentum of the show to staring in the fire. Yeah. I thought about past lives.

I'm just staring into the fire. I just think about Aries Cab. Did you go to camp when you were younger? Yeah, Camp Tioca summer camp. Go away for it. Oh, yeah, dude. I went away twice. I went away like three times.

I'm trying to send my daughter a sleep wake camp to... I think she'll have a good... I think it's seven weeks. I know it sucks to go if you're not into it. I never went. I would have never went away. Seven weeks, I'm a fan, that's so long. I went for two weeks. No, man, I went like half the summer.

I went half the summer. Every time your parents fucking your bedroom is said I swear I'm not gonna do it again. That's summer. I better start with cleaning the whole thing up and then they fucking air again. And then they go, water we keep, I called my parents t-shirts.

I got, I got, I got home sick and I called my parents and they're like what can we do to make you sick this is like seven thousand dollars to send your kid there and I was like I told them to buy me ludicrous's word of mouth album with still. 15.99, that was what? The album. That was, no, that was 20 bucks. It was like 20 bucks to fuck anywhere in the house. For a six more weeks. That had got as dick sucked on your back. They bought two out, they bought two copies of it.

They're like, listen, a move bitch. Or they just, they just took their copy that they bought and gave it to you. Yeah. Why is this open and sticky? You don't think we know about it, Lanna hip hop? You're in your dreamane to pre. Are you the only kid?

No, I have an older sister. So she was home the whole time. Yeah, she was doing something. She never went to camp. She didn't go to a seven-week camp? No, she didn't. She didn't go to a camp. Did you go to a seven-week camp?

No, I went to like day camps. Me too, that's where I did day camps. Yeah, day camps were fine. I mean, I had, I went to like, I was in day care at the athletic center. You know what we call day camps me too that's where I did a camps yeah day camps are fine I mean I had I went to like I was in day care at the athletic center you know we call day camps what day camps you're probably right okay so my day do I know what you're doing as a kid at all know what you're not as a kid but as an adult same thing with cutting go to college either and I said I do feel like there would have been something cool About doing like either of those things. Yeah, dude you go away. There's like like go

Sneaking off the fuck around by else with it never like no I never I had a week out of known I'm not nothing's happening I would probably been there was camp time you're looking like make out anyway. There was a bunk 14 which was the girls bunk and they were all our age and We also had this thing where we watched movies and we sat on basically a bleachers thing and I hurt They didn't know I was behind them and they hurt I heard them talking about all the boys in my bunk and they were like who'd you hook up with and they'd like this guy or this guy This guy or this guy and all of them were like I would like to I like this guy and then they went Brendan or blah blah blah and they're all like the other guy for sure Yeah, and I heard overheard it and I didn't you have this thing when you go it's like

This is so much answer to home. It's I can't fuck these shit kids. I'll see you this. I get so much answer at home. I was like, you can take some of them off anyway. How old are you? How would you want to put that heart? I was like 12, I think? Yeah, I was 11 or 12.

I was 11. The first year I went away to camp. There was only two weeks. There was the hottest girl in the world named Morgan. And she, there was like a dance stand to camp. And then I remember going up to her at the dancing and being like, hey, do you want a dance? She goes, I'm real tired

Not tonight I Told the story before on this show why I will never not have a beard unless I lose some sort of a better something Yeah, when I was a little kid and went to the carnival my dad my dad sent me to carnival in my neighborhood With my step brothers who were older than me and I wanted to think I was cool so bad And we were waiting to get on a ride the tempest. Yeah, I remember it Which was a ride that I was I was afraid of rides, but I was trying to look cool for my step brothers Yeah, so while we're waiting in line to go on this thing I see these girls like kind of near me like keep looking up at me and like smiling and like like kind of giggling to each other

Oh, dude, I'm a few corny 80s music. I think And they walk over and they're kind of talking to each other and the girls like no I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go go I'm gonna say something and she walks over to me and she goes She goes hey I mean so comfy I was like stop Are you are you a boy or a My name is on the ride and cried and screamed like a fucking child You

Crying not about You know what for the noises I still can't tell that story so that Christine's rubbing me That's fucking hilarious When you got when you got good at being able to be rejected what what was what did you ever have? I don't know that's a good Cristino I learned how to laugh it off. Yeah, but yeah, the last the last time it was left I go into a dark shell. I'm like, I don't even know. I thought that was possible

Dude I was laying in the grass with this girl on my birthday and she was hanging out with me And I went I went in for a kiss and she pulled back and she went what are you doing? And I went I don't know I dropped her off. I dropped her at home. That was brutal. Those the last time I ever let myself get rejected. Yeah, I'd won.

I had won as the first one ever where I went and got a condom because I thought she wanted the food doing everything else. So she fought the top. Yeah, I grabbed the condom and I was like, I actually, in the words, I guess I'll be needing one of these. And she said no. And I was like, okay, and I thought she said no. And I was like, oh, okay. And I thought she meant raw.

And I pulled my fucking putt out. I was, no, I don't want to have sex. And I was like, hey, you know, everything at once. Oh, I was so, I was so, I was like, never again, dude. I didn't know how to take a shot. I think girls have to go like, hey, dude, are we going to fuck? It's like tomorrow. Oh, man. Oh, yeah, you wanted to okay

I took all the wrong shots in middle school and high school. I yeah, I was so bad Girl you do that. Yeah, the kiss they go Yeah, yeah, I was a senior we'd like hang out about and smoke weed and I tried to kiss her and she's like you're my friend like hanging out about and smoke weed and I tried to kiss her and she's like, you're my friend. Oh, no. Yeah. And that's true.

What was in you? You were looking at this here. It wasn't just something. I didn't think I didn't think I think I did very good. I think I did very good in high school because I just fucking I sprayed a fucking like like a hail storm. Like I fucking just I wrote wrote a note to every girl who was all friends, you know what I mean? Like just front of them, you spam them.

One would say one would be like not interested and you move on to the next one. So it's like, I did get you. I told you gotta do it. I did do it. That kind of rejection. That's a number of things. I've never ever, I've never my life

going in for a kiss that wasn't like received back because I'm like,'s got to be so obvious So you did such do I say can I kiss you yeah Yeah, that's what you gotta do now, but I think I've done that forever I'd rather than have that moment To go like oh, I have a boyfriend. No, I don't I go, okay, which I'd be, I'd still be embarrassed to ship a before the go to in for it, fuck that.

I was, I had this like girl that I was hooking up with in high school. I think I was only in ninth grade or something and I was at her house when we were watching a movie and her mom literally would come in and then talk to us for five minutes and then leave and then three minutes to go by the dad. I would come in.

You guys, you guys, you kids can get back to your finger and- Every two seconds, right? So at one point, like, I made a move and I think I just I was like feeling her boob and then that was it and I was like this is a great what a great night already you know I remember this is the top show and then her parents came back in like three or four more more times. Yeah this was in 1920. It's easy. I'm gonna take this right now.

I touched the breast for a whole minute. And it was the cats pajamas Oh geez, I'll tell you this. I was hotter than our defense on those Normandy beaches It felt like a colored body Listen into jazz and smoking marijuana So you grab your titty that a mom came in who's like now grab mine. Yeah, let's see if it's on browsers. That's how I've reimagined it. It's a browser. I subscribe. I subscribe. Let me guess the daughter was giving it a little bit of the job. The mom interrupted. So this is how you do it. They shared your caulking. You swoogged and then you were like, I

The last thing you slam your laptop shut and you run into the bathroom and y'all I'm telling the shower So what happened which came back? She we ended up I ended up you know We just ended up watching the rest of the movie essentially Space invaders I did I it's it was a shazam. It was not a good movie. I'm No, so she the next the next day she was like Did you shut your mouth? Her weird fuck her tits look like someone's wearing fake plastic. They were so weird shut up God damn right embrace the van a little bit of a lot of that's a list of sister her cousin My first time ever last time in my grandmother's basement embrace the vampire

Pace man I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm going to say I'm want to see her naked. I always said, and I've always wanted to see Melissa Milano naked. It's Alyssa. Stop saying it over and over. Is that your silent protest? Because she's a sexy lady. So, emotions everywhere. Alyssa, is it? You're like being a legit mother-in-law. That's the whole thing.

Just Melissa, you come here, Mom. It's Alyssa. I'm going to put my lover. I like Alyssa Milano. I was going to put her husband to not have sex with her because he's probably way on a lover. I think Lusmo Lotto is gonna punish her husband to not have sex with her because he's probably way on her side. I mean, he's like, why are you putting her? You gotta understand.

You being Mr. Lotto? How great was that movie though? That was one of the great movies. I'll tell you what. Two girls that you wanted to see. I'll tell you what I definitely smacked to Lusmo Lotto. Melissa. In fear when he throws her over the shoulder.

Sure, but you can smile like this. Nice. How dare you. So good. How dare you judge me for... Remember that? Huge scene. Wow.

Real quick shout out to Denise Richards and Nev Campbell and WildThings. Stayed beating to that pretty much consistently through AceGrade. Did we say this on the air? It nothing. I had a conversation with your game here. Sal and That is nothing to do with anything. I had a conversation with Sal and Shane Gilles the other day Shane's 31 sales my age and we were talking it's hard to make a kid understand now What a fucking big deal it was when Pamela Anderson's sex tape came out. Oh, that was just insane. The girl of the hour, we've all seen Jennifer Lawrence with her face, but yeah, it is

now, and you move on from it. It was really shocking. That was crazy. It was really shocking. You finally saw a rock and roll guy's cock. Yeah. I mean Bobbid your your boat just the way you thought

But you know what I mean? Your boat is so big the only cock I've ever saw up until that was porn dick And I don't even know these guys got a new fucking dick a famous dick. You know it was funny I didn't watch that video for a year. I think think last night watched it was on VHS probably yeah and uh a lot of watching on my phone and I always said I always said over and over I go everyone always talks about Tommy Lee's big huge dick and I go I remember being like a long fin yeah it was long and it pressed me in I'll tell you what though it is we brought it up on the bonfire a while ago. Not is a big dick It was me just making myself feel better

It wasn't a big dick. It was a real thick and hot horse thick and it's not skinny. Yeah, he could tattoo his deck It's a beautiful deck Christ on the cross. He should he should We're gonna take our last break. You're gonna break on that Guys a moment for Tommy Lee's dick. Go Google that big old. Have you watched Kim Kardashian's fucking We'll be right back. We'll talk. We'll jump right back into that. Okay. We're gonna take a break It's the bonfire alive from the campfire. It's across over. You know what dude? But we also got Mike Fini, R.A. Shefear, Britain, Saagalo, and then you know what dude crew

Gabby, Gabby, Mikeby brine Mike Sparks. War as Chris. Becky Roy Reyes. She is a bag of lettuce. It kind of weird to me out. Christine's watching the fires dance with her eyes. Christine's telling us what our future is. The Lord of light. She seems to sort of Armenian presence is above that. Nakhalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalachalach the bonfire. Nothing like a smoke after a meal. Yeah, I cherish these moments. What? What did I say? And now back to the bonfire with Big J. O'Coursen and Dan Soder.

Hey, from the Raxas Taxis, the best gunwack. Covered another double-bowl, moldy twist, being challenged in, which from KLA, M in Portland, it's... Ah! Ah! The coaster love like you will Chili come on here way Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey seen it. Yes, I've seen it. Open it. Those things are fucking crazy. Speaking of crazy, cc.com slash bonfire. Shit's crazy. Pretty crazy that the man is that cool. Are we barbecue in light bulbs?

What are those noises? Our guests. We're going to have a fight with two lights. Our guests. First from the Irish Goodbye podcast, Mike Fini. Hey, thanks for having me. Man from his own podcast. The stupid little podcast. Stupid little podcast. Dude, I don't know if I'm even gonna do that anymore. Stop it. Don't give up.

Don't stop threatening. No, the last episode I hate it. It's not very good. I'm a week to record. I just don't podcast he goes if it's even So it's a feeling I'm stretching the moment I start talking I'm staring at the clock I did a whole goodbyes thing on my last I'm gonna keep going cool for you to happen I did a good bye. I played a I did no I did no I have done that but I did the very losing that last something unprecedented

yeah basically I did that as we go on yeah we remember and uh so you have the first suicidal podcast dude you don't even know how right you are about that. To listen to it, all right? No, it might be around. Or am I not? I wish the pie podcast would be there.

If I can, and in my phoenix, you'll be there on www.dastagealnetwork.com. Is this trip about trying to keep sagging a little longer? Yeah. This is which. We have to travel in the Schwadad that is the actual cycle. I go into the woods, you just hear a gun shot and a bunch of birds Well, we can't see them now like looking quick We can't even now. This is Mike's dad having a feeling I

Gotta call my boy something happened. I gotta call my boy. What happened to my this don't feel right before the break? Fini was telling the story about hookin up with a chicken or room in a mom Yes, yes, she kept coming back in. I'm grabbing her. I'm you know, I had a boob grab I think I was I think And I think if I've memory serves correctly we got to fingering that's where I got you and then again It's great each other ninth grade and the Figure yourselves in front of each Great she said like I think you're doing it wrong. No. I saw a certain Michael's movies Movies under his bed The locals protection movies

That's what I wanted a lot These are the magazines that are Michael's bed He flips our basement There's too many fingers So you finger it? So yeah, and then While her mom was like, he had like a blanket over our laps You know what I mean?

While the mom is like coming in and out everything So that's classic And that kind of that is classic It's like Long Island Yeah Fucking middle school high school fingering Under a play where dog people are around you Oh really anything the theory that she absolutely knows your finger under there But what is she what is she gonna yank the thing down then really

Girls gonna get a dark red We gotta send this thing around the horn. We're keeping it to tightness. Yeah, I'll pass it on. So, Well, are he's making a thing? All right, making a score again. Yeah, yeah. So it, Are he's learning his craft of smoremaking?

So we, we stop. I think we ended up, you know, we just watched our movie. Nothing really else happened at next day. The next, the following day, she yelled at me. It's like, I have toxic shock.

Yeah. She goes, why didn't you? Why didn't you make a move? She goes, I would have jerked you off. I would have blew you. Why didn't you make a move? I was like, make a move. My fingers were inside of you. Like, what else did I do?

She wanted you to smash her head into your deck. I guess so. But that was going back to the thing. You said it being so sure that you're well, yeah, adopted, close. But nice. But how was that? She, adopted, close. But. Nice. Was that shoes refurbished? Yeah, but no, so it's a, but it was like going back to what you said about being so

overcautious that it fucks you. You had your fingers inside of her. Yeah, isn't that a, isn't that a, that's not. It's ninth grade. Yeah. When I was eighth grade, I found out my girlfriend got figured by... Every one. Two different dudes.

Nice. The same summer. Wow. Same fight. I was riding my bike over the night. Same time. Old four fingers. As you were in your family, it's a little tary sign.

Every time Dan starts telling about the story, he's looking into the fire. It's staring into it. Sometimes I still see your face in the flames. She was like a damn human bowling ball. She couldn't believe the way her eyes wide when she saw me close the padlock on the chains on the door. And like that blue tip match with my fingertip. No matter what anyone says,

death doesn't solve your problems. That is what I said, that Robert. So beautiful. It is really nice. I never got caught fucking by my parents. But a girl, I mean, a girl that I dated after the girl I lost my virginity to, we didn't fuck, we did everything else, but immediate. She was like a fucking bassoon player in the school band. That, like, she, like, put my hand up her shorts while her parents were like, I mean outside of a window on their deck like barbeque and like I mean

Behind us like she was screen and she was like putting and I was like Terrified chicks that play specialized instruments are always the freakiest. Yeah, that was the way that works Yeah, the sooner suck the best dick. That's the way it works I'm not saying that, but I'm assuming it sucks the best dick. That's the way it works. It's so funny, as you always thought the band kids and the theater kids were nerds and you realize they're all fucking each other. Oh yeah, with the flute. I'm having a choice to tell you a story.

He fucked this white chick who played the viola. What is that one, the one you stand up? Chellow? The cello. Yeah, I is that one the one you stand up? Chello? The cello. Yeah, I played that too. He said it was such a dirty girl. We're gonna come back to that, Brandon. He said, right after they fucked,

she just went over naked and picked up her cello. He started playing. He said, the drugs are working. He said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was fucking She said it was Yeah, she played the flute and after she she would ride Jay while playing the flute Take would come out of a basket Yeah, what's co-bro? That girl, that second girl, the one that wanted me to finger while our parents are right behind us She never wanted she wouldn't fuck but she blew me ones and Told me that she wanted me to come in her mouth and then immediately Like part of her thing when she wants you to come in mouth is also spitting it right back out into your own bush

Your bush. Yeah, that's your own baby. You Yeah, it's really I run a dad's beard you fucking lay gack all over my bush. Yeah I just want to snowball your own bush. It's a real weird thing to pull out of your own bush. She's tsunami you Yeah, it's a cum tsunami. Because that's what all happens. It's whipped. That's whipped.

It's tsunami. Whip cum is harder to get out than regular. We're at paid my cum in a minute. Yeah. I didn't wait to leak back out. This is terrible. The cappuccino noise or something. Gawd.

She didn't, bang. Yeah. She hit me, foamed me. Then she, she morangue a giz Please someone please whatever she churned No camper please once suck your boyfriend's dick have the coming your mouth and shoot it back He's pushing the else tsunami That's disgusting this you know what just happened here, we can we talk about what's

happening here, it's all comics sitting around talking to the campfire and Dan's first joke was the tsunami thing. Yeah. And then we went on and made 11 more jokes. We got to really get to become a thing, you know, you know, everybody went, that's open your trunk, you already have them. You're like, oh, is this? You guys can sign off on this real quick. Can I just say something? Can we all just acknowledge that our friend Ari Shafir is making a gummy bear smores on a spatula? Oh, he's high chips. Is that our is that our burger chips chips? Oh my god, that's just what weed do you smoking fucking Spacoli? Oh my god Are you an alien trying to prove your human by doing that with the wrong?

I like sour cream Yummy Big Yummy My mouth You got your sugar bellow chocolate and Dramp

So cream on your She's Cat's Metal world to me Hey So I'm Plexibly sourpatched kids in with this chocolate milk.

Maybe so it's your real deal. So, that's tsunami joke, it's probably the best of the whole thing. Hey, hey, watch, tsunami jokes, looking around, some of the brightest shut it down, maybe we'll call them, show that. Maybe the episode should be called tsunami. I'm just saying I'm spit balling again. You know, clipping from the best of just a catch. Louis, give your clip a little bit of the dance on her. I know I'm doing a voice, but I'm just gonna I'm spit ball again. You know Clip it for the best off to the cash Louis give your club and it's dance on her. I know I'm doing a voice for upstate Directly. Yeah, good Becky. This joint is

Zumball not you join the South You know, I always try to make me run in the woods go fucking You try to always keep on Don't eat with Ari that's gonna come out of you looking exactly like that There's no way you mean yeah, you really do eat like elf. What kind of chip? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha but everything on bread. I love it. Jay just did the same joke right after one just killed. Yeah. It was like splash.

Splash is probably a little more historically, actually. I'm a damn stupid dude. It was Jay and I are an Amer-Tor. If we get a splash rest in Nami. He goes, hey, can I talk to you a quickie to see us? You guys get a little bit of the night camping I'll see yelling in the cabin. Who's gonna go to tell tsunami and elf shirts? Yeah. Splash won't give us the cabin. Who's gonna go to Sunaomi and elf shirts.

Splash won't give us the trademark. It was a mermaid and you know what? We'll go your way. See how it works out. Get it right home. I gotta get it right home with Bobby. Bobby, I get it right home. Everything going all right with the bonfire?

Taking it to an actual bonfire was a mistake. Is that a joint or a cigar? It's a cigar joint. It's called the bloat, Bobby. Yeah. It's called a... Bobby, all your years in comedy, how many other comics have you fucked in front of? Oh, great question.

Obviously, Bobby, I've been fucked in front of. I've known for 11 years and I've never thought of such a great question. I remember in... I remember... I think it was Keith and Patrice. Alright, sure. Jim Norton has to be. Norton is so I'm gonna get my ass eaten. And he's...

I won all fours. He saw it in the computer. No, I had... No, he was on the computer. I was down his dark hallway and I I had my, my, my, that's what he calls his buttole. I had to call my dark hallway. And I had my leg up on his wall,

which is my song on. Oh, dude, you're giving him the captain Morgan. He actually told the story. I'd say and she goes, he goes, all of a sudden I just heard, he was a finger. And no, she, she of a sudden I just heard. How people are finger. And no, she, she got a little nugget. How could you gag?

We did the boat ride. Remember the boat ride? Yeah. We did the boat ride and I had a little nugget of something. She got in her mouth. Yeah, sea salt. No, maybe a little underwear, a little underwear nugget. She was present.

How she eat your butt like a, like what a bass and how drinks water like? No, she was eating now more like I don't know more like a kid eat night-cream Like a work on the sides. Yeah, right up strip no drips. Yeah, it was nice Well, you're like up on the wall. Yeah, I might like up on the wall. That was skinny back then. I was in front of Norton Yeah, he was on the computer and I was she playing the tube She a little bit. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. Such cool. Struggle. Yeah. I eat the drum bone. Yeah. That's fair.

And then I give you the dizzy. Gillespie. I think there's been a couple of the people I think. Yeah. Dan, I bet you have your answers. None. That's not true. I fucked in front of. Well, Nate heard me have sex. That doesn't count. So it's a requion. Who am I fucking?

That doesn't count. I don't know. Doreosa? No. Is it a bigger number Bobby? We have how many comics have fucked in front of you? Probably a 17. I can't...

Me and you? Bob Marley. We've never met chicks together. No. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha was bad. That was me, you Bobby, that was me, you, you, Bob Bilber and Derozer, and he got to, he got Derozer typical fucking wants to return everything, gotten an argument about a strip, about a lap dance. He wanted to return a lap day. Yeah, he wants, because we got a coin. You want to do that? Yeah, she had that guy kept going, listen, sir, I'm sorry, if you wanted to grind on you, he's like grind on your lap. Yeah, he spoke to the manager, he kept going listen sir. I don't I'm sorry if you wanted to grind on you grind on your lap. Yeah, he spoke to the manager. Yeah, I never said grind stop saying grind. He's getting so flustered He goes sir and then when he starts he's becoming a scene the ball the owner is leaning into it

Yeah, he's like sir. I don't know what you expect for that money. She's not just gonna grind all over your head, but you're gonna stop saying it. Joe, Joe's like stop saying grind! I never said grind. That's so fucking good. Oh, dude, we were at this place, it was dead. I go up to the guy, I go, hey, can we smoke here? It's a hit. He goes over to the guy, he goes over to the front

to a locksit, he goes, you can now. And it was just me, Derosa Burr, Jay, and I think one other guy. That all the strippers turned into the vampires. The things got really serious. Oh my God, you guys got Dustyldunded? Almost. I mean, this girl, the two girls walk into this, it was a pit with a bag of dildos.

Like a bag, like a garbage bag? Through the front of the building with a gauze? Yeah. It was sort of even inside. I don't think the house, they put like a stripper pole. It was too anything. If it's a garbage bag, that's gross. No, it was a duffel bag.

Okay. They just bust out a double bag like two slacks. But we didn't know what's going on. He goes, it is now that he went in the little thing and he, these two girls walked, they were looking as like smiling. It was just us and we all get around the pit and we're looking down and they start doing all this crazy shit,

but as they're doing it, the DJs lowering the lights. So as they start to get real fucked up, it's almost out. And he goes, you want the lights back up? Start tipping fellas and we waited until you couldn't see her. And she's just about to jam this thing and the lights go down and Just got throwing Tell us what you can almost see the dot They whip the lights up and then

And shit would just be flying Going in there with like night goggles I don't give it you You got a bunch of green bitches. He needs those things. Yeah, that's a way. We're off to fancy. We're going to do a four-week-long, three-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week-week- I prepared for it for boys. You know jokes on you, cock sucker. I gave up daytime hours. Just to learn how to move in the chart.

I've grown boys. Yeah, then he goes, Night Walker now. He goes, he got us so horned up. And then right, he did it like five or six times. He was so horned up. He goes, all right, right now two-foot-one lap dances. Upstairs, fell off. And everybody went,

next to my sister, Marcy's room. I didn't go on pure broke. Actually, no. I didn't go. Me, you and Joseph go. Joseph, you only want to went. I was, you only went on the left. Because don't lock the bathroom

because you'll get locked inside of it. Yeah. He's all right, guys, avoid the third bathroom to the left after the's my ROMs room, big room, all these other friends. I went away and I was broke, but I couldn't go Joe wet. Joe went for it. Joe's like,

that's it. There's a connection. But that I was great. So we essentially a borderline got asked to leave because we got asked to leave. And then there was a gift shop on the way out and Bobby. It's a gift shop. He had probably bought a porno. Bobby was the only person who could afford a laptop at the time. And then we went back to our hotel room.

And Bobby called us to say, enjoy our fucking queer fest in our room because he's about to jerk off to this porno on his laptop. And then 10 minutes later, we heard a doc on the door and I opened the door and no one was there and I went the hallway and looked and there was a rag on my door knob that I grabbed it and I was like I thought maybe there was something written on it and I mean point 1 4 seconds after that moment and I was holding Bobby's come back. And then Bobby called the room again. This is like, this isn't even everyone like,

we all had cell phone, but you were calling the room. And Bobby goes, Cawksack, and you get my fucking come rag. And I, yeah. And someone gets you, it's always good to tell them to let them know. You're like, yeah, you got me. I definitely touched your come.

I think it was Something with kidnapping like kidnapped ass Yeah, we kidnapped your wife again Yeah, they're I don't think I don't think there's any comments I fucked in front of him I didn't think you did you're a vampire dude Yeah, you know, you know look I wouldn't want you to fucking friend of me. Thanks man I you know, I mean I would I want you to fuck right in front of me. Thanks. I want to look at you the whole time You fucking got a Bobby Lee? Yeah, why don't you come sit here buddy?

I've been the smoke screen. Yeah, sit over here. Yeah, no, that's okay actually Yeah, me and Bobby were in La J, that's okay, actually. Yeah, me and Bobby were in La Jolla, and we were on my pack with two chicks, and he went, took his to the what? No, I was gonna say you in the same room? Yeah, same room, we took these chicks back and his chick got weird, because we were like, you know, two beds, and they went to the walking closet, and then she was like, nope, we're not doing anything. And so he looked out through the grate in the closet to the bed of me just pile driving this check. Wow, he sat there. Drifter to slam down?

Yeah, he just sat there and watched it, straight down the legs. And then it all really, yeah, John, Tron like, wow, that's weird. First person shooter style. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. That's a weird way to watch sex. Usually, when I watch third person style.

Ha ha ha ha. I've never slammed anybody. I've poked. Rup. Anyway. You stay on the feet. Yeah. That's what you get. The whole stool came out.

That's what you fucking get. Tell me to move it. It was a foot deep into the ground. Yeah. I stood up like daredevil He just plays haunted So deep in there Holy shit dude you really saved yourself. Oh my god. I wouldn't slam back into. You understand the excitement a fat guy feels when that happens

I just a few you just it's not gonna I call myself the seller once we said it was outside cheers I sat down on one and I just felt the metal going Get back up and be like no way dude I didn't go down and I didn't tell anybody about that it was going down I go let the next day of soul find out that I was at a barbacuda pleasure Patrice and he ordered so much food and he went and he sat he fucking you know Patrice used to fuck with the the girls so he's fucking with this girl she really wasn't having it and he went and sat down in a metal chair just snapped and he fucking fell on his ass but he saved his play to barbacuda But he saved his play to barbecue

I think it's just landed on me I don't know but something like that. No, you don't feel a tick Would you tick sleep? No, you don't feel ticks. Oh, they make you take sleep. Yeah, what I don't know When they wake up early hey, huh, yeah, I don't know man or the daytime ticker when they wake up early and they hunt. Yeah, I don't know man, or they daytime ticker, you know, night ticker. Yeah, we talking, we talking nocturnal ticks. Yeah, guys, I was trying to know what my enemy is. I was trying to learn grow of all the only comic you ever fucking front of.

Yeah, I believe so. Yeah, I fucked with other guys in the other room. Yeah, yeah, that's, that seems like more the norm. I mean, dude, I got a pretty good lineup of guys fucking in other rooms. I got Vecchio. Yeah, that's that seems like more the norm. I mean, I got a pretty good lineup of guys fucking in other rooms. I got Vecchio. Yeah. Dude, that was early in the headlining. I wanted to bring his wife, other, yeah, comic. I wanted to bring friends in the road so bad that I would always accept a deal that was just they crashed in the room with me. Yeah, so several comics you had you had people fuck huh, I'm in For sure. Yeah, yeah, like well you a Kurt right?

I don't say you made me say you fucking piece of shit who who Kevin Hart who let's go huh? Kevin Hart Kevin Hart Kevin I fucked it front of you. We know he fucked it. Front of him. Come. That's great. Who for say it? Well, we told a story together Montreal were she did Girl that I was fucking around with he she sucked his dick in the back. She was driving. He told that story on the show Yeah, it's Chris really Yeah, when he started telling him Montreal

I did think it was weird. He was telling this is where I go. It doesn't it doesn't make him look awesome Definitely seems like a dick move. Yeah, but I'm driving him out like a Uber driver. Yeah, yeah Yeah, let me know when you come So the girl swung around the door and kiss me right on the lips I know it was so weird So I have sucked the dick of the star of night school. Yeah I say get fucking hose out of your satia like that get close to those jumanji lips Christine suck the dick of the man who stuck the dick

What's wrong with you? What do you mean? I mean Christine right here? Man of the man who stuck the dick what I think my dick. Oh, I got you They're saying how Christine's lips and Kevin Hart's dick or Eskimo brothers Thank you, Dan for it in layman's turn. That's the layman's here. That's the dick family tree. Yeah, but I bought you comics. Yeah, name another one. Name another one. I mean, Patrice. Let's just, uh, no, the last one. But I've done something in front of Patrice. You fuck something in front of true like a what a guy. I know I was by Patrice did it was great What do you mean

I'm trying to think of how these stories Anybody he's dead he's fucking dead. Well, he's dead, but it also wasn't like he didn't do anything But if they were swingers, too, right? This is before Vaughn like for Vaughn So we did a gig we did. So we did a gig. We did a gig together. And how man there's another comic was involved. Well, implicate him. Come on, let's go. Buster's open. He's super close to home. You better say who it is after is it right here right now? No, still what I mean? We're one degree of Kevin Bacon from them

What Lewis Lewis? No Lewis. I'm glad you guys are all All right, just keep going. I won't say it. I won't blow it. What is it? I'll tell you this when when the show's over in our do reveal who it is Yeah, yeah, you wouldn't have never guessed it Never guessed it and it's crazy. I know it is. It's night. No, it's not. It's not. Nate. Let's keep moving forward. Okay, God. I mean, it's definitely a night. God, Richard really doesn't do this with your balls, dude. I'm definitely really way else in your balls, right? Watch out. It's different like a bleeding.

It really jostles him, right? Well, it makes him pick us up. He's not a fucking friend with him. I'm good at it. It's like a knuckle graze. Yeah. Patrice, so we do this gig and Andrews, you go back to the hotel. Me and the other guy are sharing a room. And we're hanging out at the hotel bar and Patrice went to his room. And like a half hour later, calls and goes, he goes, you know, come up to his room and like a half hour later calls and goes he goes you know come up to my room real quick and he tells me his room with the other guys so I go sure when

we get up there and just a big heavy set black lady naked okay but naked answers to the door as she goes he's a little trees, they're like, yeah, which already started, I started laughing immediately because I just know Patrice, what he's doing only is bringing in, he goes, want to make two white boys uncomfortable. And that's all that was happening was making two and she stood there naked. And he went, yeah, this is my friend. So, and so she said she never blew a white point before so Here you go and then uh, she blew you. Yeah, what she blow the other guy

Uh, it was it was it was it was attempted. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was funny. No, but it was like I couldn't get it up. No, well no because when it was happening Yes, when it was happening. Yeah, what was it? Derocha was happening, when it was happening, yes, what was the route? No, when it was happening to me, he was standing in the corner like the Blair, which was killing someone else. No. It's got to end that's good. So but you, so

crap might. So you said you was looking at the corner of the room. I think I really kind of a real dental problem. No, you're okay. You're fine. I could see it from here. Did he really look at myself so hard? Microphone. Divided. Divided. Is it played?

No, you're good. No, no bloody. It really just smacked only my teeth. Yeah. So what happened? So he literally was in the corner of the room. And then we like did chance and pressure to try and get also. What? And then he was like, he's like, what?

And he's just watching a guy get blown by a big fat black one who's really doing like a boi. Wow. Boi. And he's just like, I can't. I can't. It's not my thing. I'm sorry, I can't. I'm being Patricia's laughing. But we're Patrice was laying on a bed that was he was surrounded like like murder marker. Yeah.

You know, like a murder C marker of of glass at a sort of Dildos. He's like a real round on like a king when he when he when he became Dr. Dildo. I know that was his comic book bag when he went to Brazil. He couldn't fuck Anymore why he just couldn't do it to get off So he became Dr. Dildo so he'd fly with a bag a double bag full of these expensive glass dildos and vibrates What and he would make hook he would pay hookers and they come up and he gave a class one night. I have a photo, I have one photo of him giving this class to all of us in this hotel room. And he was teaching, I remember Jim Norton,

he was, Norton was just looking like a little student and he was teaching, he was a glass dildo and a vibrator at the same time. What? Yeah, it was pretty crazy. He had, and he would walk through customs. We'd all just let him go first so we can see his bag go through the, he would just go just, as soon as the guy looked at him, he'd be like,

yeah, man, man, when you're going to do, I don't think I would just like go take your bag of dildos. We went, we came the first time we ever came to New York. Me, Bill, Patrice, The first time we ever came to New York, me, Bill, Patrice, Dane, Bob Marley, we all came in and we did all the clubs, we did all that bullshit and then we went to the Peep Show,

the round one where you stick your head in and it was like a genie's bottle and then have like two chicks with C-sections just sitting down. Oh, hell yeah. And I remember we, we all our heads heads went and we were just looking at each head like what the fuck. And then the thing would go down. We're home. And they'd be like, you tipping, you tipping. And Patrice was giving, he just, he just, he's giving him money and he just be just grabbing a big titty. And then let the nipple a little bit through this little window.

And he ran out of money all of a sudden my door opens He came in my little booth And he mushed my head little he popped through the thing and he's like Bobby get that one over there I was like what he's a get that girl. I should have called this whole black lady over the C section Come here, please ma'am He goes tipper I go what he goes, I got no money. Dip that bitch. So I had to take up my money and dip this lady while Patrice just stuck his hand around my face and just squeezed her titties. That's great. He was a piece of shit man. When Kevin Hart called

him jerking off in his apartment, we stayed with Kevin L.A. and Kevin and Patrice didn't stop jerking off. He just leaned back and it was chewing him away with his hands. And then closed a little, you know, like the accordion doors like he didn't stop jerking off. Dude, that's awesome. Leave so I can finish. That's like a meditation like devotion. He's like, I'm jerking off. You better get the fuck out of here.

He was a piece of shit. That's one of my crazier stories That's so funny. Who's the other guy? I can't say you'll tell us right up there. Oh, yeah, and we're in the episodes over so we can find out very soon I don't think comics to that shit me more though, right? I think you must I don't think so. I don't hear any fucking stories of comics banging in front of each other Yeah, who's talking to you about what they do Yeah, who's talking to you about what they do?

Hey, Bobby, do you want to hear a sensual tale? Yeah, but you do hear that shit. You hear that shit. Tales of ribble dream with Robert Kelly. I believe I need to tell you something. Full on. Full on. I don't know. I happened to pod her in the forest.

I hope you never back. Right? In front of the people. I was at a comedy festival and we all like a bunch of comics went to the big house and The comics to the to the comics They were I was like sleeping on the couch and it was like there's a kid It was a living room is right next to the kitchen and they were in this open kitchen Hardcore like making out and then like laying on the ground

You could hear like every inch of what they were doing. So I kept trying to be like You know, I'm making like any sort of, like a notification. And then he eventually went, I think he's, I think he's, I can hear everything they're saying. And they go, I think he's awake. And just one of the guy goes,

who cares? And then the girl went, let's just go in the bathroom. It'll be better. And they go into the bathroom. And then he just started snoring, dude. And then they proceed. They're all with you, you plus.

No, no. And cartoon snoring like this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, no, they fucked so loudly in the bathroom like at the whole rest of the all of us woke up. Yeah.

Like, hey, they were like, oh my god. This is bad. Well, we might as well be a big fucking dick van dyke. I am. Mm-hmm. I heard someone's five seconds of bathroom once. What the fuck? Why didn't you join in?

I've jerked off with a cup with a cup to my ears against a wall of hotel room. I've got someone else's question in. I'm going to get to see him the next day. You hope to see him. I want to have my ran out of my room to see one. But you, you're ready. Oh, sorry. Brennan, you never banged in front of somebody, right?

I never. I don't think comics do that shit anymore. I think I do. They do, right shit anymore I do they do right? So people do you're also like you're the most like you're the deviant group of comics So it's like you and your friends that I'm like what the fuck is that? God damn maybe we're normal. No, you're not your deviance. What the fuck? Yeah, I'm a lot of a lot of you know, You're saying Chris Gether wasn't doing that with his friends. I'm saying like, have the people they're gonna show it?

You guys hear about those old guys in the sketch. Those original hot tub, Joe. We know what happens. We find out Chris Gether. So why do we have these facts here? We're the deviant young guys. So you find out like Chris Gether used to like bite hookers or something, you know what I mean? We do it all, we do it all openly. Everyone's open creeps That's the thing as we find out you find out the guy with a Chris geth

You find out he's like bite hookers like skin off Jesus. Yeah, oh It's hypothenic Yeah, we're telling these stories joke. We'll tell these stories a long time ago so we can kind of get away with it True. Yeah, you guys can't really tell me I mean you can't oh, it's for a present tense. Yeah, these are, yeah, that's true. These are old stories. Younger comp. It's a who hates you. Who laughs the hardest? Just thinking. Baking. Damn. That's the travel. Yeah.

Oh, I think somebody over there was like, is that some is screaming? Someone gets tapped. We got to wrap this up. We're actually hanging out by the fire now. It's a whole thing. Everybody for hanging out, bring in bread and saggle all good check them out on his or don't check I'm out on his podcast check him out podcast whatever it was called whatever it was called It's called this is stupid and it's dumb little podcast stupid little even the name of it stupid little podcasts Also check out Irish goodbye Mike Fini and Mike cannon on Gabby wind What he's a Gabby wind What is it Gabby wind please talk with the way? Yeah

Of course Irish affair skeptic tank podcast Irish fear calm. Thanks everybody this episode has been brought to you by fire fire This summer go get some see some fire you're ready for skankfest Irish affair skankfest this summer. Oh, yeah Everybody wants to hear who this comic was. Oh, yeah, well. Yeah, we're gonna hang up and do it or go get some teeth of fire. You're ready for skank fast. Are you sure if you're a skank fast this summer? Oh yeah. Everybody wants to hear who this comic was. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, we're gonna hang up and do it. And of course, you know what, dad, Bobby Kelly and the group.

Yeah guys, thanks for. Chris Gabby. Thanks for inviting us here, Bobby. This is great man. Thanks for coming. And hopefully we do this every year. Comedy camp. We come out here.

We do this. We make it bigger, invite some people a lot of fun And then we we can start fucking each other and then finally with this when there's enough play towards every room Got more than one person in we can start fucking seriously. You see it Mike feeling going You say can I listen from a from a closet in another cabin? I don't feigning here. No one's holding anymore. Jay, feigning here's your about to hear two things.

Meet you some light ear work on the couch and then go to the bathroom and slam this piece. Whatever happens to a lady, these women of sluts. I say I heard he didn't even take off a corset. Yes, I heard two people making love once through a door Name yeah, let's go let's get the name you guys want to just go stranger somebody where we put on a fucking non-descript masks And just knock on their door Just keep looking confused We should do it the Japanese people do we'll all just go get a couple just not throwing them in the air and then walk away and not say

You see those dancing videos in Japan with a sharking shark. Yeah, it pulled on a girl skirt Maybe shark did you never heard the show the crime still blur the muff In insane you never saw the I'm still blur them off. Yeah, insane. You never saw the 100 year, the 100 man mob, well, 100, this would have 100 Japanese people. There'll be one guy walking on the street just with his briefcase going off and work.

100 people will just run up quietly behind him and then surround him and then just start picking him up and throwing him in the air and then leave. He's like like what the fuck There's enough manpower here to do it man. Oh, maybe we could totally do it at post around campfire people at the bound fire SXM on Twitter Instagram Snapchat CC dot com slash bonfire. I'm at the insoder dot com com Robert Kelly live dot com Gator fight Gator fight The first bonfire in front of the bonfire.

As time went on, we saw less and less of Teddy and Virg. Until eventually, they became just two more faces in the halls. It happens sometimes. Friends come in and out of your life like bus boys in a restaurant. Don't let's be in the fire. By me, oh, it's been by me, oh, it's been by me. Oh, it's been.

I'll see you. You gotta see you first. You've been listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free. You can go to the YKWD podcast.

You can go to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free. And they're all free. Shining. Shining. Shining. Shining.

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