Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Candlelight Provigil

Episode Date: April 4, 2016

This week on YKWD We have Joe List, Annie Lederman, Sam Morril, Joe Machi, and Davian Velez! Joe claims to have an inoperable tumor but nobody believes him. List, Machi, and Annie share a great story about the time they went to the Just For Laughs Comedy Festival. We also take some questions from some young comics who came to hang out! This one is a hoot! Watch/Listen and enjoy!   RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, Network Riotcast.com Alright, all right. Check it out todays. You know what dude is it's a full house. I know I always say That's partially on me. Yeah, it's your fault. Yeah, when scopo fucked up because he's spineless Yeah, but it would like people you like you don't like people. He's a dormit. I like people We had like me in a relationship. We had Should have stepped on it. It was funny. Yeah, let it go. That's why it's comedy's yeah, that was that I mean it's the comedy you're coming to stick to your state apparently your comedy's facial expressions

His comedy hey, I'm trying to be a character boy. All right listen. That's props. I know Top whatever Fuckin whatever at least stammering and we gotta fucking get out nervous. Well, I'm falling on the show I'm falling on camera. I'm shitting myself right now. This is great. All right. Can I just get to the honor to be here? I'll accept that Let's talk about it. I can't get a little ass kissing because everyone's your ass and up on it I've seen I've seen a lot so many times I watched the clips on YouTube. You're amazing. Thank you, dude

Thank you for so. Thank you. So, you guys have writers meeting for the show? We just did it. You just went and went. You got the topics beforehand. Fox broke you guys. You guys. Take.

So, anyways, today's show was amazing. We had Annie Letterman. Letterman on who I've never really met. I've met a little bit here and there. Oh, I fucking hated her and loved her at the same time. She is just I she so such a what oh my god. Yeah, she's so viciously fuck you. But it is something addictive about it. I like how real she was. She fucking like talks about how she got a mantra on like two and a half years. And she was like, yeah, fucking. It happened

for me. She can hang though. I look at man. She was fucking great. And she has the same temper as me, which I love. I love that she goes from zero to 60. But she was fantastic. We had Joe List, who was dying. He's not dying. He might be dying. Yeah, he goes on and on about that.

We call Dr. Steve and the fucking Skype didn't work. Scopo. That's me and Scopo's fault. All right, well, fuck both of you. Thank you. But you talk nice about me. So I want to go And we had also Joe Mackie Joe Mackie because you're a spineless, but he I love him. Come on. Look at his face Look at a spine really does look like some he looks like somebody's aunt from Minnesota. Yeah

But he looks like he should be a woman in like Fargo the TV show Fargo Just a little you're making bread, would you like some bread? And then we had, all right, fuck you. It was the same guy, damn Joe Twys. We got whatever. And then Sam Morrell. And I'm in the bomb den on an intro.

And then we had Sam Morrell. Sam Morrell. Who was fucking always great. Love him, very honest. Very honest, very funny. Liz stopped in for a second from Misery Love's company. And we had Davian from the Ford Dill ship in the Bronx.

Kind of a random booking. Well he's actually, you know what I mean? Anything we, anyway, we're gonna say. Very interesting, sure. Yeah. 10 years in the business, right? 20. 20.

20 years in the business and he's still hustling. Still doesn't know Mark Norman. But still hustling. Yeah. You gotta give it to a man and he's playing the fucking black rooms uptown and he's still in the game not giving up so Takes the wrong train here. They did take the wrong train because he never gets shows down here But and then we had a great we had the biggest crowd ever right? We had four fans come in today. Yeah, they were it was a little fucked up because it's supposed to be a tomorrow

The show so it ended up being today. So we actually lost the fan because he couldn't come in tomorrow. All right, mom. So, but email the show, YKWD producer at rikest.com, and then we'll get you on. Yeah, so that's a show today. It was really funny. I fucking was bombing up front. Like I've never bombed. No, you never bombed. You're the best. Oh, fuck. He fucking bombs. No, no, no. All right. He bombs.. He's too Bobby is filming his TV show right now Yeah, he's with the actors who are like Bobby. You're so perfect and everything you do Bobby are you oh you look good. That's not true. I'm right. Dennis Leary He's like me. Oh really? I'm 20 Elaine doesn't come and say Bobby. You just look so good today

Yeah, I love Elaine and good today. Hmm. Yeah. I love Elaine. And your girlfriend. I girl, my future wife. Yeah. It was a fun time overall. It was a great show. It was crazy, like the show always is.

So if you want fucking interviews and NPR fucking feel, go fuck yourself. But if you don't, if you're a fan you want to come in and be on Bobby's good side, yeah, brings the cars. Yeah, he tell them that. Or Dildos. Yeah., tweet us nice things. Yeah, tweet us. Yeah, my thing No, dick pics go to Lauren not me Straight to me, but she forwards them to me. Yeah, well, I put you on that because I can I open dick

I'm with my kid having cereal This guy holding a big black cock pop shop. That's a big piece. Yeah, it was a big piece. Yeah, anybody have a little dick, please? I like little dick. I'll send mine. I didn't say brown, weird. All right, I'm so touched. You got your own circumcised?

I am, rocking the hoodie, baby. How'd you make it sound cool, though? I wrote that line eight days ago. All right, here you go. So that's the YKWDU show for today. So check it out, spread the word, subscribe on YouTube, and make sure you donate on our page, and that's it. So you guys let it, you know what, there we go.

Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. This is gonna be a cost-effective podcast. No rules. Look at the mic asshole. I'm sure I've already said today, can I get a microphone? No, that's my guess. It's no rule. Look at the micasshole. I'm sure I've already said today. Can I get a microphone? No! That was trying to keep it like a comic head.

I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down and napping. Sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's 10 no poppings. No directions. I love doing it. Side to the coin. That's all I hold inside.

I'm a part of it. I wonder, do you think my podcasts pop who I might affect You never know Oh Joe you don't oh all right we're back I'm back. I should say you but Joe you don't have fucking tumors Here's the thing and if anyone's a doctor right in email call Send a video I've had a spot where I swallow just right where I swallow stop sucking dick that's a little too easy Hollywood Bob I'm one spot that I'm wearing a leather jacket well first of all I forgot to have to go

to the future earbuds I need my glasses though. I need them to read and see far away. Your earbuds. You're in all black. Yeah. You're smooth. You're too smooth. Too smooth? Like smooth.

I don't have a lot of work to keep the hair. Like, no, I wake up, I get in the shower and I shave with a fucking fusion. A fusion. A 70% sure you're wearing makeup right now. Don't have any makeup on. Absolutely. You can get a baby wipe and do the makeup test That's what you do with people if you ever think they wear makeup get a baby wipe and just wipe it on the face

And then you'll be able to see because I know some actors or comedians do wear makeup out this guy right here I do know makeup oh my god baby wipes Oh my god baby wipes Mackey words the raggedy and collection. Oh, you're so you're so funny Sam. Holy shit. What's up? What's happening? That's not the kid I wanted on the show That's who's that That's how Sam starts oh they guess yeah, you sit over there man. You sit over there I'm getting I today. I'm getting, I'm getting, uh, David and who's a Puerto Rican uh, comedian and he's, he's, he's not a walking over.

I thought scope of fucked up and just got a, uh, a Puerto Rican comic, just named David. Uh, what's up, dude? How you guys doing? We have a bunch of guests in the room. We're gonna introduce everybody, but fucking Joe went off on a tangent about his tumor that he doesn't have.

And now some issues with me looking too Hollywood. I don't look too Hollywood. I don't wear makeup and I shave my head. It's very easy. Let's get back to me. I, I, I, I spoke some, some heavy cigars. My girlfriend had a throat thing. It hurts in one spot when I swallow.

Yeah. Two weeks, I went to the doctor. He gave me antibiotics. Last night I took a shit. It was was bananas all kinds of colors and sizes and I think I'm dying and it's still my throat still hurts well yes you this how long does it take for antibiotics to kill whatever is in you a day two days if it's a suffigial cancer it's it's not gonna happen he said it wasn't that well there's also like did you have to come up with a sausage what is it a sausage sausage of geos?

A sausage of geos? Is that Italian? No. What is it? Where's it? I got the bomb in. It's very nice cancer. All right, listen, we,

first of all, I can't hear fucking anybody. We didn't solve my thing. We're gonna solve it, but I got fucking a bunch. I got the, it seems like I got a prison yard in here with the fucking guests. I mean, we get the area nation We got the fucking MS 13's we got the the fucking whatever the black gang just blacks I guess they don't have a gang name do they?

Bloods and grips and this is the most racist thing I've ever heard in my life. Oh, I'm sorry, but I agree Terrifying All right, so let's introduce everybody. We're gonna get into your cancer in a second. How's that sound? Yeah, yeah, let's introduce some strangers and then get to the bottom of my cancer. Yeah, well, if you don't have it That's the point your high-pocondriaccio everybody knows that you're a high-pocondriaccio I'm not an alarmist and that's different Hyperconneryx create things alarmists freak out when they have something you don't have it I have a thing it hurts my throat dog. I got antibiotics to prove it stop calling me dog

Whatever Hollywood Bob. Are you ready? Here we go introduce everybody scope. Oh, hey to my right. We have Sam Morelle Thank you. Hey, buddy. How you doing feels good to be here? Yeah, then we have Joe Mackey. Yep He's an arch enemy. Yeah, I don't like Sam. He's not talented. What? You guys think we're we're we're be from us too. He's my he's my best friend, but also my archie Nemesis. I hate him It's just he's no way person that hangs out with me. I don't understand what I couldn't imagine you hating anybody with those rosy cheese. Well, they're not makeup All right, who else and we have the truth Joe list. Alright, who else? And we have the truth, Joe Lists,

who's dying of cancer. Who's actually the lie, that's your new nickname, the fucking over exaggerating liar. Well, I am hurt and I'm taking antibiotics, and it's not working for three days. What do you have in hand in her sisters right now? That's how I feel. I'm dying. Joe, what do you have to say there?

Well, no, you said it takes a day to frontantomite bladx to cure stuff that really depends because if you have drug-resistant diarrhea, it could take weeks. If you have multi-drug-resistant bacteria, it could take months. If you have extensive drug-resistant bacteria, well, you shouldn't get on a plane. Joe, you are bumming me out, dog. Dude, I don't even know what he said i stopped listening to the at the first example you just quotes battle struggle act that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that uh... so he's coming now from uh... queens and any letterman is running late she said uh... okay well issue really

all-spirited she from hollywood or she is hollywood from home island all right but she's really why she hollywood i don't know what you know i don't know oh my god she's to do that so they'll be hollywood if he's lucky and he's not and he's from here gets any better

and that's not and he's from here gets any better Is that from low island? We stop I gonna hold you neck the whole fucking show. I'm holding it in place. It's coming out dog It's not coming out. There's nothing there. I guess there's nothing there Joe You're gonna be so sad when I fucking die No, I'm not cuz I want to deal with this fucking annoying neck thing I'm gonna be in here with a voice box next time. Fucking Babe Ruth. That would be so great. It would make your act pretty freaking hilarious.

Oh man, I could kill. Louis Gomez would be putting fucking joints in it. All right, well not the funniest. What I like that is, we're like, yeah he would. Well maybe if you didn't call all of our minority guests criminals when they walked in. I'd say criminal, I said it looks like a prison yard. Yeah, you said that was casting a prison yard, he would be the boss,

and he would be like the guy who gets you everything. He'd be the fucking dude who runs all the Mexicans cartel. And then you don't tell me he would be the fuck. He would be the guy that like wants, he kind of goes between all the fucking crews. Like he's with the Aryans, but he fucks a black dude. Yeah, he blows him every once in a while, and he fucking sucks his cock just to get a couple things

out of him, because he's got cigarettes and shit. And then the Spanish guy, I'm not good at it, see? I don't fucking fake, you fucking bull. But every once in a while he goes, and I mean, let me get you fucking, suck my dick a little bit, okay? Let's not give you suck it, then I come over and they whoa.

And then scope was in for insider trading. For real. Yeah. And they all fuck him. Yeah, all. Yeah. Demolish and jail. Oh, you would get Demolish and jail.

Oh, that would have to just be. You know what bitch? It's a one guy, protect me. I guarantee they would fuck me once. And then you would annoy them so bad with your fuck ups. I told you get me more jello. Oh, you said jello. I thought you said yellow orange juice. Wow. I suck. I like the brothers. I know. But the brothers

was strong. Here's the problem. I got fucking too many nice white guys on the fucking show today. I can't wait till Annie shows up in this fucking Puerto Rican from the Bronx, David. You're gonna get a lot of play smiling today, but yeah, that's what I need. I need a little fucking, I never thought I'd say this. I need a little fucking Half-and-half a little loose Gomez to fucking spice things up and tell people they fucking blow Everyone talks about how nice Mackey is all he's told me is that I'm gonna die the anti-ball And he attacks him, right? He's not nice to me. It's not a shitty person. I'm not the one who's killing you though

It's can I say something to you? I thought you were a woman when I first met her. Well, I'm so sorry. That's why I would do really well in prison. I started that rumor. I started the Joe Mac, he's not a man friend. I thought you were a woman that had like, that like, like, did a beanie baby thing. True story.

I went to a Wendy's drive-through and a high pitched voice. And the person thought I was female. And then I pulled up to get my food and he still thought I was female. Bobby, you worked at Burger King? I mean that was you, are you kidding? I was perfect. You said you thought he was a woman. He's at the Burger King. What are you shitting me? Don't blame me!

blame the fucking racist fucking cast we have in here today. They hate white people. They do. They fucking hate us. Where were you? Can you mic that was big. They have a mic right here. Is it on? I was just saying.

We'd be here with all the microphones here. Yeah, okay. Hey. How's it going? It's going good. I'm Lamar. There you go. Hey buddy, what's your name?

Lamar. Lamar, nice to meet you. Where are you from, buddy? Well, I came here from Pennsylvania. Are you? Today? Yeah. Where are you from buddy? Well, I came here from Pennsylvania. Are you today? Yeah, only shit What part? No, it wasn't bad like Philly. Oh, that's not bad. No Kinetic it. All right cool, man. We'll welcome to the show. How long you been listening to the show? Like this year actually oh shit. I forgot to I think we we got some stuff for you guys today

What's that? Make you pass the mic to yeah, how are we doing? What's up, McEy? Pass the mic to, uh, okay. Yeah, how are we doing? What's up, buddy? Hi. Phil Oakley. Hey, what's up, Phil Oakley? Oh, this is amazing. Like, I'm just out on Disney World as a boy and like, this is totally making up for it. Like, this is, you didn't go to Disney World?

No, no. I didn't go either, man. But you guys, you went, right? Did you go? Yeah, it sucked. Did you, how could you say that? It just lines. Yeah, but it's a lot of money that your parents

fucking paid to have you come in and, and just lines. Yeah, but it's a lot of money that your parents fucking paid to have you come in and go down there and lines. A lot of people don't go. We didn't go. He didn't go. He didn't go. Well, I mean, I didn't have them to throw it in their face back then. But if I did, tired of it.

Your parents are dead? No, I mean, I didn't have Sam to say. I went to Disney World, and your parents don't love you. A lot of parents die on this show. So, have you been to Disney World? I went in 1991 and he have you been Annie's here everybody. Welcome to the show Which one's the one in Florida? I went to the white world That's no that's the good one better that was a good one. I was a small child the shitty one is in California I went to that one with my boyfriend's mom and sister came in a town as grown-ups

They took us there was such a fucking nightmare. Yeah, that's not a good time to go. It's from Jersey. You're a boyfriend? Yeah. What the fuck? Why, dammit. Come on. Why would that be? What did, what? You have a girlfriend, dummy, and you have cancer, come on. You get sick. You get cancer now.

You get cancer and dies first. You can't, can you have a fucking cancer now? A soft gale. It's bummer. All right. Well, welcome to the show, dude. I'm glad this is your Disney World, which is kind of fucked up. I'm going to be a little bit more honest.

I'm going to be a little bit more honest. I'm going to be a little bit more honest. I'm going to be a little bit more honest. I'm going to be a little bit honest. cancer now a soft gale that's former all right well welcome to the show do not have this is your disney world which is kind of fucked up but anyways dj hazard a little bit right uh... a little dj hazard but i don't think he has he has this guy has nice dimples i like it's dimples yeah you did you have to with dimples i'm a big fan of dimples and it was also what you named it

uh... e.j. edmunds e.j. is it really e really EJ or is it Edward something? Everett. Everett, you're an Edmunds cool. Yeah, let's stick with EJ. I lived in Everett. Yeah, that's what I got to my mom. My wife's from Everett.

She's mad at me. Most. Can you pass them a mic? Pass them that microphone. Is that cord go over there? Yes. Hey, there you go, buddy. Yeah, we, we, we, we, go ahead.

What's up? All right. No, I said, I, I usually go by EJ. I get called ever when my mom's mad at me. That's the only time I hear. Are you a comedian? Yes, sir. All right.

I can tell you get a little timing there. Oh, OK. I got high eyes too. I got, I, yeah? Uh, my name's Miguel. I'm actually from Joelis Town, from Whitman. What? Really? Did they call you in Massachusetts? Yeah, we didn't have any Latinos.

Uh, yeah, they had me. Oh, wow. No kidding. Yeah, where did you graduate? Uh, 2006. Uh-huh, that's why I didn't recognize you. Do you still have the lights on because you couldn't see them? Yeah, it's a little dark on that other room. Christ, my God.

I apologize, guys. I really do. But we do want to get you... What would be Annie with two? I'll forget it, Nest. All right. Just say it. No, I fucking bailed out.

I've been bombing. I've already thrown a five fucking bombs on my own shot. I'm here to be the one that's been bombed. Yes, I'm going to chat, says keep trying. All right, good. Look, I get a fuck off chat. I'm going to end this one in chat says keep trying. All right good look I get a fuck off chat. I'm gonna end this fucking chat by the way. This mean chat that we have.

All right so we're back. I've been away for a little bit. Whatever. But I'm excited to be back to the show. These things actually had in my ear. These are the new, these are new fucking headphones that they came out with. They're completely wireless.

Ooh. They're Bluetooth. Are they fed specifically to your ear? No. They fit in anybody's ear, but this case is actually a charger. So when you take them off, out of your ear, they literally shut off, and then when you put them in here, they automatically charge. And then when you put them in your ear, but they also have this thing where you can leave them in your ear

and hear outside. What? So you don't have to take them out. So it's almost like a hearing aid inside. So as you look really old for no reason? Well, these look very futuristic. You look a little hollywoody. They're actually, they're fucking pretty bad.

Especially in New York City, they're pretty bad-ass because. Is it the charge that case? No, this case is the charge. oh yes, you do, yes. Eventually you got to charge the charge, right? But it charges them for five hours at a pop and it five charges, so it's like once a week maybe. Whoa. You have to charge the case.

Can I, what's that? Noise cancelling? Well, it's pretty much noise cancelling. It's not like a Bose thing, but it's in your ear. But the thing that's cool is when you're in New York, I almost can hit by cars all the fucking time. And I've seen people get fucking shmealed by a cab. And with the men, you can hear everything.

So you can listen to music and hear, or you can just, you know, you don't, especially at the airport, you know when you go on a plane and you get a fucking tape, you have headphones on, and then what the fuck did you say? And then you get to take a man and out, and I always get a tag on something. It's usually somebody in first class gets fucking hooked on their seat, and then I look

like some fucking douchebag going to coach that, you know, and then next year, so now no fucking wires. It's done. Wires are done. I'm going to go out and ask you a question. Have you run with them in your ears? They're actually, I'm going to tell you this, they're waterproof. You can jump into the fucking, you can jump into the ocean with these fucking things.

What about a pool? And what's that? What about a pool? Is it just salt water, friendly? No, it's actually a regular water-fabric. You wear them in the shower? You can wear them in the shower. Oh no, you can't wear them in the shower.

Why? Why not the shower, playing? I'm kidding. I find assholes. You guys, I was playing along with your jokes. And yes, you can run with these and they will not fall out of here. At all, not one fucking second. They're actually made for that.

And they also, inside of it, has a heart rate monitor. Oh, that's right. In it. So it tells you what you're fucking, how long, only miles you ran, how be still. Maybe I can try them on, see what's going on with my neck. Alright, let's get back to this. What's up? There he is. I'm a gentleman. I'm a gentleman. I'm a gentleman. I'm a gentleman. I'm a gentleman. I'm a gentleman.

I'm a gentleman. I'm a gentleman. I'm a gentleman. I'm a gentleman. I'm a gentleman. I'm a gentleman. I'm a gentleman. I'm a gentleman.

I'm a gentleman. I'm a gentleman. I'm a gentleman. I'm a gentleman. I'm a gentleman. I'm a gentleman. I'm a gentleman. I'm a gentleman.

I'm a gentleman. I'm a gentleman. I'm a gentleman. I'm a gentleman. I'm a gentleman. I'm a gentleman. I'm like, I'm not gonna get a podcast. And I was like, is it going downtown? And they were like, yes, going downtown. And I get on. Why would they like, what would they fucking aliens? They would obviously scan the Navy and blondes because I noticed they had European suitcases and they said, next stop Queens, I was like,

are you asking for us? That's funny. I didn't realize they were tourists. Well, the two fucking Scandinavian blondes were fucking Queens. I know the fucking locals. I was a big European suit queens. I know the fucking locals Big European suitcases. I was like, okay, yeah, I messed up. How you doing buddy? Good good good man. How you good good? Good and now who can buy a show of hands? Who knows each other you you guys know each other right? You know those guys go back from archery all one time huh the big

Yeah, that was so fun with the fourth great stone Oh, yeah, Anthony Anthony who Anthony DeVito Yeah, this is a riveting. Oh, that was I'm moving on Montreal. I will move the fuck make it Cancer then fucking I would love to talk about it for God's sake. All right, listen What is it what are you saying? How do you say it? David? I say there's a devi to talk about it for God's sake. All right, listen. Hi. Hi, David. Nice to meet you. What do you say? How do you say it?

Davien. Davien, I say it. I think it's a Davie. Yeah, Davien. And you guys don't know it. He's a comic, too. From New York City. I see it.

Who I met on Facebook, who I went, he actually works at a Ford place. Yes. And I went in there. And you almost got me. I don't know. Almost. Thank you for buying the car.

We appreciate it. I was fucking got, come down and just sit in it. I did. And I fucking, this, I fucking can't hear a way from buying a car with a dent in it. Fucking this, listen to me. You're not really gonna get your stuff in there. I go, I go like this, I go, hey, there's a dent right there. He goes, hey, bring it down, fix it.

Yeah, but it's in my hand, I'm gonna put it together. I'm like, okay, you fix it. I have low self esteem. I never had anything nice in my life. You don't fix a new car. It was a scratch. It was a fucking joke. It was a scratch.

Look at that. And you got fucking warranty, okay? By my side, I like that instead of buying the car and giving him the commission that will like feed his family over the holidays. Is that what you're like? I don't have a found no kids I broke all the all the rules of Puerto Ricans Only kids There's kids don't know that you really can't continue with this

I don't want you to fucking take it his side you don't even know this Oh Fuck is my show Annie You fucking late you should take my side, but he was late. He was later. So my late is canceled out. That's true Well, he's Puerto, so my late is canceled out. That's true. Well, he's Puerto Rican though. I'm Puerto Rican, what was that? So, I'm a high-vity day.

All right, so listen, here's the fucking point of it. You son of a bitch, you almost got me. I'm talking the last second, I went like this. I gotta go. Why? And as I was leaving, all right, go ahead, tell him why. Because most customers, they come in, they see a better price somewhere else on the internet at their house

Yeah, or they see another ad or stopped at another dealership. They got that I'm also man I'm cursing him But I got big feet He doesn't like his dog. Yeah, your hands don't match your head. I know not at all But he's on the other line with the other salesman. Oh, what's your price? Hold on a second.

And then he's right back on the other line with the person. I'm going to tell you this. That wasn't the case. Can I tell you what happened? A friend of mine's wife is a car broker. You ever hear of that? It's like a home broker. I'm pretty good with that.

A fixer. No, well, basically basically you tell her what car you want. Mechanic. Yeah. You tell her what car you want and she goes and gets it. And you tell her how much you want to pay and then she goes and finds the feel. So she was going to do that and you know whatever. I wasn't having success and I was like a little frustrated whatever. He wasn't having success. And I was like, a little frustrated, whatever. He had sent me a Facebook thing, hey, just come down and sit in the car.

And I was like, you know what, let me go fucking sit in this car and see what the fuck's up. Have her. I'm such a weak person though. I'm such a, I pride myself on being a fuck you guy. But here's my, here's my speeds. Fuck me in the ass. And I'll let you come all over my face

or I'll fucking murder your family. That's all I have. But it is it's a low-south esteem thing because I do the same thing like you think you're gonna stand up for yourself and then you're like, I guess I deserve this. I was at Starbucks yesterday and I had all my stuff sitting on a table and I went to the bathroom real quick and I came back and some dude was just sitting like with all my stuff in front of him. And he was on like a business call and I was like, I don't want to interrupt his business call. And he was on a business call and I was like, I don't wanna interrupt his business call. And he's sitting there being so polite to this person.

He's moving, he's touching my stuff. And I'm just passive aggressively slamming things down and doing nothing. And then someone, a seat moved, someone moved next and I moved to the seat. I didn't even make him move to the other seat. Like a fucking pussy. Oh, that makes me angry.

He touched my belongings. Oh, that makes me fucking, violently angry. my belongings. Oh, that makes me fucking violently angry. I Instagrambed it though. I got it. This is what I'm on Snapchat. I can't have a gun. I Can't have a weapon. I can't have it really jumped the level I said no, I slid his throat after I watch fucking daredevil and I want little fucking nunchucks. I want a ninja stars I would I would love to this one. fantasy with that he's on his phone you grew I would love to see this you grab his pinky finger that that's holding the phone and you snap it and you hear and then he just he doesn't feel the pain and he just sees his pinky is down here you

and then you hear his wife going what's wrong what's what are you doing and then he falls to the guy I like that you think business calls are with wives. I also like that. Not everyone holds their phone with their fingers. Hang on a second. Can I give her that in the business call with wives, joke? Sure. Okay, great here. Put that around you.

Think that's a nice hot bomb, man. That's the bomb, man. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, throw it away. Make it sexy if you want. Thank you for keeping it so warm for me in the beginning of the show. Oh my God, it's hot as fuck. And that's Manny.

Oh, thank you. Um, Manny Letterman. No, so, okay, so he was on the business call, he was on his computer though, so what I was imagining was slamming it on all of his fingers. That would have been good. Slamming it really hard and I did nothing. Yeah, it's weird, man.

And then he would have needed a manicure, huh boys? Well, the, the, the, whoa. Oh, I missed that and hit my dick. Haha, sorry. Unless you threw the bomb in there on you, like, he was gross. Whoa, I missed that and hit my dick. Sorry. Let's you through the bomb bandana. You like him as a gross. You actually made the bandana gross to her. It's a bomb dana and it is gross because I'm riddled with cancer.

And her piece. Where's my phone? Well now you're telling too many have trees. Can I switch trees? You can't catch cancer, Mackie. You got to think he's got other things. He is that, but you can't catch that and let you fucking sleep with him. When you talk to Dr. Steve, I'm going to call him right now. The Skype's not working, right?

No, Skype's working. All right, can you call... Can you get a plug it in there? Can you call Dr. Steve on my phone? One Valtrex prescription and some sort of throat... Do you have Valtrex? No, I don't. I'm trying to...

I'm trying to... Let's get up here. I'm going to at that store. Hey, Liz is here. Liz Liz from the popular Fucking here take my phone and get Dr. Steve's number. What's up babe? How you doing? You he's right there. He's right there So nice to meet you. What is that are you like fucking crossbreeding shows? No, but he's like a freaky stalker So he's a stalker from the other show,

from the Misery Loves Company. Most people don't meet their stalkers list. Well, Misery Loves Company, and you have the microphone, right? Grab the microphone, Phil. I'm just thinking Phil Oaks, the sales guy. Misery Loves Company is a brand new show that we started here at Rycast with Kevin Brennan

and Lenny Marcus. And boy, the Misery part is right on the fucking money on that. I don't think there's ever been a podcast Name so perfectly then misery loves company, but it's actually on fire the fucking show It's got thousands of fans out of the gate and you love the show too, right? Oh, yeah It's I discovered it through your show Everyone keeps twittering me and this hate mail like like you claim yourself as the number one fan, it's like I never said anything,

that's all Kevin and whatever the podcast opinion. You're the number one fan of the misery of company show. I never said that, I just want to just say that. Did he just say that? I think he just said it in the controversial episode. Yeah, that's not what they started. They started the whole Starfucker thing

and everything like that. They're a Starfucker. Apparently you're throwing into a category, you just got to roll with the punch, you know. But I just wrote some emails and I asked him, I'm a writer. I'm a writer. I'm a writer. I'm a writer. I'm a writer. I'm a writer.

I'm a writer. I'm a writer. I'm a writer. I'm a writer. I'm a writer. I'm a writer. I'm a writer. I'm a writer.

I'm a writer. I'm a writer. I'm a writer. I'm a writer. I'm a writer. I'm a writer. I'm a writer. I'm a writer.

I'm a writer. I'm a writer. I'm a writer. I'm a writer. I'm a writer. Real crazy time like I had no idea who Kevin Brennan was till he was on the show and I was like That backs up the whole thing like I'm not a number one fan. I mean, I'm a big fan But I'm not gonna claim to anything and I was just like this guy Has no filtering system like the trees and I'm like I want to I want to oh, it's a little different a bit Trace We should I think we should put a small amount of amount of thought into Some of his rant. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Kevin's rants come from hell Like literally from the basement of hell and they come into your face, but I can't I love the show I can't stop listening to it. We should ring all in family. What but Tristan turned on his family?

Wow and turn on his family. Well, the nine siblings either. Kevin is a fucking lunatic man. He really is. But he don't give a fuck. He said, this is where I wanted to do the podcast. He said, people think I'm an asshole. Anyways, I might as well just be a fucking asshole. I was like, okay, time to do a show.

Because if you're not gonna give a fuck, then do it. And he really does it. And Lenny and Liz are perfect. Cause they literally sit There the whole show going who shut the fuck up. You actually he turned on him last week He called me Judas I gotta agree with him and I'm gonna say this I'm gonna say this and hear me out Liz. Who who loves you?

Who's been begging for you? I love fucking you. I love you. Fucking love you. I think you said to say, I fucking love you. You said I love fucking you. I love you. That could be trouble. It doesn't matter. Listen, she runs the Comedy Cellar Twitter

and Instagram. And you're... This fuck, I get it. Okay? You, Sam. Yeah. I don't need to see fucking five things at him okay well Bobby you're really going after me here I'm just saying you have a little you know you're a little with that fucking power you

wield you know you're there I don't know you've never fucking did me show me one fucking Instagram with me in it no No, you fucking get your phone on talk to me like that my fucking show Yeah, yeah, but I it doesn't matter you You know what she does this what is she waits for me to bomb that's what she does? This is what it is. She waits for me to bomb. That's what she does. I'm not even kidding. When I go to the fucking, because I look at it, at the seller, I just got it. It's just, I not a, I feel good. When I go to the village underground, it's a different vibe. And, you know, one time I had a, I opened up with a new joke and I took a hot one. And she was there to fucking witness it. What? I don't see nothing.

Ah ha, that fucking really bombed in there Yeah, that's a great photo of me. What could you go on your face? Yeah, could you yeah cover my face and on the ground? That's that's stobrose That's me don't call me a fat Greek kid He really is. There's some about Starverse Eaton. I love him. I love him.

What's that? I got another one of you. Yeah, that's a repost. That's the point. But that's the fucking whole argument of Kevin. Is that your own original, a fucking original. Be original. Have your phone.

Give her a fucking mic. Oh God. Listen, have an original fucking a give her a fucking mic. Oh God Listen have an original fucking a photo and take a fucking and do it original Don't just go rapper Kelly listen. I'm just saying Kevin had a point. I got no There's another one look at that. Is that original? Yeah, that's not of me. That's that's that's that which is a painting of your big I'm a human being. I have fucking feelings. I'm looking at you right now with glossy eyes Take a fucking photo of me on stage doing something. You're never here anymore I'm fucking here when I am here. It should be more fucking meaningful. So it should just be all you There's another one. I will fucking break it. There's what one picture of

Pictures in me I'm not like there's a lot of Sam around they really Norman It's the same guy No, I'm in Sam. It's the same guy. It's the same guy Sam's here can't book my road work, so it's really Thank you. You really don't like thank you. You don't like Hey, it's a man. It's just venom. Why do you hate Sam? No, I don't hate them It's just that we kind of have a little bit of rivalry. I'm not familiar with the rivalry I chick bones ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha funny line. That was funny. I'm a little bit of humor if you said it. There's a male that tells a bomb dinner.

Well, send it over here. I delivered it. I just think Kevin has a point. I can't. The whole feed cannot be Kevin Brennan. And that's my point. Here's the thing. Okay, you're right.

I understand that. And that's what Kevin wants. Go ahead, speak. Speak. Oh, God. You know, my wife's passive aggressive, and I always get honor for that, but I think I like it. I think I'd rather take that than you Just speak of the devil me come on

Well, this is what we're selling a record here. Okay Okay, what least amount of jokes Hello, hello, hi, honey. How are you? I'm doing the podcast right now It's actually good. It's That's alright, what's up? It's actually good, it's good. Why? What's up? Because I wanted to see if you would mention on the podcast to anybody who's listening that

they might build tree houses. I'm sorry, what did you just say? What did you just fucking say? If anybody's listening that builds tree houses, it's like a very people do. What did you just fucking say? That builds tree houses you think the fan okay, you think the fans of my show Who some of them are here right now. I'm looking at the last thing I do is you like fucking sneak into tree houses But they definitely they definitely don't build them is that enough fucking fun if you and Listen, I'll I'll I want a tree house from Max. Okay. I'll build the treehouse. Okay. Oh, boy. Well, maybe we can find somebody that What the fuck with these? I can build a tree house. She'd make a frame. You

Complete strangers on Twitter over here. Well, maybe somebody could help you. I can help Bob. I'm Puerto Rican. I'm putting it over here, it's all the tree house. I'm wondering, maybe somebody could help you. I can help Bob. I'm putting it over here, not in Mexico. I don't know how to fix cars when I tree houses. I have broad shoulders. I love you. I'll fight. I'm too late.

I could buy. I love that you mentioned your wife is passive aggressive and she goes, if anybody's listening. I'm really getting fucking hammered up. I'm not too late. That was perfect. I'm really getting fucking hammered on my shoulder. Motherfucker, anyways. Yeah, so we fuck, I gotta get a trios. I gotta shed.

I gotta fucking build a fence. I gotta put a fence up. How's that fucking sound? I'm Mr. Suburbian now. I gotta fucking make cars. Make the neighbors pay for it. Hey folks Little political what a good comedy like Mexico

My wife deep Well Bobby look like he didn't know what was going on so I'll explain it to fucking get it throw me into the bus We fucking really get into the initial where are you going? Tolly what now where you going? What are you doing? I think she was fighting a trough. I'll see you later. And do me a favor. Some more original pose.

And enough with the retweets. Enough with the reposts. Enough with the reposts. Your hair looks good. Fucking. Oh, I tell you. May you make a great fucking power couple. He said a fucking power couple again.

Yeah, I can't. You keep putting the fucking in the wrong place. No, I don't I put it there for a reason I guess if you said power fucking couple that's worse speaking of fucking in the wrong place. How about these gays? Rockets. You mean the ones in the room are like in general Hey, I'm kidding and being a apologize for saying anyone is anybody gay in the room? Really? I'm scared by a girl once oh fun really lately or early No, it was like it was after college just so people were a little worried after college Post-grad that's not that long. Well you know, you wake. I was drunk. I was pretty drunk

You're drawing though. I was awake enough to be like this this is not my thing. Did you have any rings on? No, unfortunately. No, what you took it off. No, what you took it off. I will. I will try. Which show you son of a bitch? I was born in the U.

I was born in the U. Oh. Oh. Mackie. You are football ring. Oh. Mackie was my lesbian experience. I might have been killed you when I first met him.

It's made the same joke that Sam made. I was repeating it. There's a lot of hostility. Jim and Joe is sitting next to each other that could be lesbians. Confusing. I don't understand. Do I look not manly? You look like a woman that became a man. Yeah, a transition.

You look like a subtle transition. Yeah, we have a transition. That's so bad. Like a transition. You look like a subtle transition. Yeah, you're very transitional. Oh, thank you. He looks like a woman that's still a woman that doesn't have the money to transition. His therapist said not yet. I'll get the money someday. She was one of the people telling Kaitlyn,

she's not a good representative. But you look like a woman that will never ever transition. You missed the boat. I'm a casual Friday transsexual. Can you imagine his voice? I'll keep it over here like me. Why do you have a nice voice? I think you've voiced a little bit. I've been told I had a friend in high school as every time I talk to felt like someone was stabbing him in the temple. Oh that's just mean. Yeah but yeah. Maybe it't really think I think you have a nice voice

It's like it's like a demi-moir type of like a raspy type voice Yeah, you know, you know, but you're very sexy the voice and disposition of someone that makes like Samitas don't come Wow, I do that sometimes when I'm joking my boyfriend off I make it jizzing Yeah, like you see like that kind of person that shit is not the hate to I'm sorry, I'm sorry balls it jizzin Yeah, you see like that kind of person that shit is not the hate to I'm sorry I'm sorry balls and like what the fuck do you do? It's funny That's so funny

You know you're telling the story He doesn't he doesn't listen to any radio listen to me Oh boy, you do it just to make yourself laugh. Yeah, he doesn't go come on dude. I'm a bully I'm a bully. Thank you for it. See I told you. I'm a bully. What did you tell me? She's I'm a bully. I'm a bully. Is it a bagu for it? See, I told you. I'm a bully. What did you tell me? She's st- You guys call me out completely. He just called me out completely.

Oh yeah, you guys at the beginning, yeah, you said that she's kind of- what did you say? She's mean, right? I didn't say anything. Oh, you called her a bitch. Oh, no, no, man. She called me a con. No bitch, she said bitch. I did not call you to see where that one even saved me.

Matthew, you do this all. Say it, please. Say it. Say it, Maggie. Hi, yes. Hi. Hi. I'm going to call Dr. Steve right now. I got to know this guy. Please say it say it Maggie All right, I'm gonna call dr. Steve right now. Yes, I'm waiting Valtrex What? Let's go

Trump again on 13 and 14 just I turned it up right turn it up. Can you give me some provigial? Hang on we're gonna deal with him first and then we'll get back to this boyfriend coming in his own eyes I will I will I will I will I will I got a fucking take the reins over she's got some fucking alpha male shit You guys are all over the place this book. He can's not saying a fucking word Steve what's up buddy? It's Robert Kelly. You're alive on the YKWD podcast Did he hang up? Yeah, call him back. Oh man, he doesn't realize that. I don't like her fucking attitude. Do you not want to be here?

You fucking asshole. No, he, it sounded like he was going to hang up. And he did. I printed it in the future. Wow. I don't fucking with herpes. I am happy to be here. Oh, we can't really come story for Joe's cancer.

This is terrible. What if come could cure it? Did you call, did you text him and say, we say we were calling Steve are you there? It's me. Are you there? Can you hear? I don't know if he can hear us Because the fuck oh god I hate him I just hate him what happened to hate him. I think that the guy doesn't want to talk to me on the phone He does he I The fucking mic out isn't plugged in I hate him. I just hate which one?

I hate him. Yeah, Chris. Oh, I hate him. I gotta do this. I Love him. Okay, I love him. You don't like him. Hey, what's up, buddy? How are you? I'm sorry? The fucking spooky calling you in Skype, but apparently you couldn't hear us, right? No, no, yeah, apparently couldn't hear us right and i know i can hear you sorry okay listen man uh... joe has something he what happened joe uh... which part which one one i thought the girl with herpes now have herpes and i need a prescription to valtrex

he needs a prescription of a valtrex but could help insurance i'll talk that i'll get a brief into that all right thank you see you're in But can we have health insurance? I'll talk that off the end. Get a brief. Get to that up. Oh, so I'm going to be a brief. Oh, got it. All right. Thank you. You see you're in. All right. And then, OK, now he's had telemode the other.

When I, my girlfriend has soared to that for three weeks, I feel completely fine. But when I swallow, it hurts in one spot on my right side, went to the doctor, give me antibiotics. I'm two days into the antibiotics. Hasn't helped yet. Am I dying? And am I gay? Yeah. Yeah. days into the antibiotics hasn't helped yet am i dying and i get

uh... i can hear i don't know what i'm gonna tell you what he said okay i'm gonna tell you i know because sco we are gonna fix that listen scopo i'm not scopo if i have rage for scopo on my head right now uh... joe his girlfriend had a sore sore sore throat for two weeks and now i'll decide he had a sore throat for two weeks. And now, all of a sudden, he had a sore throat for a couple days. Not a sore throat. He hurts one spot when I swallow. And her husband? He once bought one of these swallows. Okay. He went to the doctor, he gave me antibiotic, but it still hurts. That's only a two. But it's been because it was

anacinus for them to give him an antibiotic in the first place because it's the likelihood that it was Very very long not stress stuff was negative it was negative on stuff On they did a strip screen and it was negative. Yes, he told me it was exudate of pharyngeitis exudate of pharyngeitis This is what pisses me off about modern Was negative and they gave him an antibiotic anyway This is what pisses me off about modern. I like this. Right? That was negative and I gave him an antibiotic anyway. Right. Asinite.

I love that he's asinite twice. I know. That's the secret. It was a bacteria. That would be treatable by an antibiotic. And the test said no, it is. And then they treated him for a bacteria in any way. So it's a virus or it's post nasal drip.

So the two things you can do is spray his nose with nasal saline and try to clean out whatever crap is in there. Taking any histamine if it knows it's if it knows is running. And if it isn't it's a virus it'll go away in a couple of weeks and you can take out your proteins for the pain. Here's the thing. I stand by itself. Yeah, I got. Okay, go ahead. Go ahead. No, you go.

You're a doctor. I'm going to be super limp. No, it could be mono. That would be the only other thing. It could be any of them. That's a little chis. If you have to fucking end up mono. But here's the thing.

Can I, you can have a tour. Real quick, I'll retort. But here it's not a sore throw at all. It's one spot that hurts when you swallow. It's one spot that hurts when you swallow. It's a very sore, right? It's a very sore throw. It's a very sore throw. It's a very sore throw. It's a very sore throw. It's a very sore throw I go to a real quick, but here it's not a sore throat at all.

It's one spot that hurts when I swallowing. It's one spot that hurts when you swallowing, right? Right, and so that's what, that bolsters the post-nasal drip theory because you may be sleeping on one side and it's dripping there, you know, and the mucus drains down and then wears away the mucus membrane of that part of the of the throat.

I never want to talk to you more, John. One spot that hurts as soon as you're irritated. So using the saltwater nasal frake and help to restore some of that mucus membrane and then the ibuprofen for pain and then eventually it just goes away. I'm allergic to ibuprofen. It's interesting because it's the third person this week that asked me about pain in one part of 30 growth. Oh, there may be just a few bruises

to truck stuff. So this is the virus. This is the end of the world. This is walking dead about to happen. Can you get me a provigial? What the fuck is, oh yeah, I know provigials. Yeah, Annie. What provigial, yeah, what about it?

Can I have some? Can you get me a provigial? Annie walks provvisual? I don't have health insurance. Oh, you not have insurance because I missed the kind of So you'd have to get it locally, but it's wonderful. I'll come to you. The nice thing about Provisual is it just makes you feel normal. It takes care of that, you know, the military use and calls them go pills because, you know, people can stay up on on the maneuvers for much longer

because I take Adderall and then I'm like tweaking. All right, so she takes I fucking hate this setup. She takes Adderall and she's tweaking. I want to tweak. It just depends on what you're taking the Adderall form. If you're taking it for adult ADD, then the data on new or ProVigilism is good for that. Oh, really? Yeah.

So it's really good for fatigue. It's indicated for fatigue. And that would be good. If you take it for ADD. Now if you take ProVigil and you have fucking rage, that might intensify it, right? Really? It shouldn't, though.

It really just, they don't know how it works. That's the first thing. It just knows that it works. And it results fatigue without making you feel all speeded up. It makes you feel normal, which is what people love about it. Now a lot of college students, and there's lots of things we can learn from college students, particularly what drugs are awesome. And they will have prosidual because they can, you know,

cram the night before an exam and it seems to be performance in hand. And it doesn't fuck up your memory at all. I mean, you know, it's not studying it for that, but it's, you know, I could look up some research and let you know, but it's not supposed to. It's just supposed to make you feel normal. All right, so you're going to hook any upper proveids or you're going to hook Joe up with herpymetizen and Joe and Joe is fine. Joe should be fine. How long before this way? Two weeks. Two weeks. Give him on my number.

Alright. I'll give the numbers out. Alright. I'll talk to you later, buddy. Thanks. Bye, Dr. Steve. That was helpful. I want to get his number for real. I really want him to give me drugs illegally. We'll see I'll see how the rest of the podcast goes and then I'll let you know if you get the number of him

He has a tire everyone keeps being like Gargle water Vicks vapor rose. Yeah, he had it. It hurts in one spot. It's not a sore throw. I'm not like Can you not do that for the person that's got us at their next two in case it is something? It's nothing He was just saying that it might be posting Scobo throw that might cover out after the show, please. You're sleeping on one side. I'm going to go to see cover off, too. Listen to me.

Her food. You are fucking fine, dude. And I guarantee it's post-need is will drip. You're probably sleeping on one side, and that shit goes down on your throat, and you're fine. I thought you were just saying the same thing. You said that exactly. I know.

I'm trying to move the fuck on from your stupid neck. Let's move on. You're fine, dude. You're fine. He said exactly the same thing. I know, I'm trying to move the fuck on from your stupid neck. Let's move on. You're fine, dude. You're fine. Don't call my neck stupid. I don't call yours stupid. Not all the fat. You've said, fucking, there's three of them.

Oh, yeah. One more. Three? I was going to say there wasn't one, but I don't know you all know. You just said it. Fucking twat. Odd, why did I invite her on the show?

One of the fans has a question. What's up, buddy? Hey, Joe. I'm not going to be a fan of the show. I'm not going to be a fan of the show. I'm not going to be a fan of the show. I'm not going to be a fan of the show. I'm not going to be a fan of the show. I'm not going to be a fan of the show. I'm not going to be a fan of the show. I'm not going to be a fan of the show. I'm not going to be a fan of the show.

I'm not going to be a fan of the show. I'm not going to be a fan of the show. I'm not going to be a fan of the show. I'm not going to be a fan of the show. I'm not going to be a fan of the show. I'm not going to be a fan of the show. I'm not going to be a fan of the show. I'm not going to be a fan of the show. I'm not whole podcast would be Joe's minor Cole. It's so funny too because I was mad at Scobo again because the show was supposed to be I have only one. Please don't take a fence. This is the perfect time to say who it was supposed to be. Don't take a fence at Mackey. Don't take a fence at this Mackey because I would love to have you on the show any time. But I I wanted to do smaller shows because I wanted to kind of get into the guests that I don't know and you know,

but I want, you know, we have this big thing and it's, you know, it's just so, anyways, he tells me, he put the show together, I'm like, perfect. So you and you and you and you, I was like, that's a great fucking show. I'm very excited. It was mostly people with small dicks, me and Annie. And then he goes, oh, Maggie's coming too.

I go, I go, dude, I told you I want fucking four people with truck That's my fault. I'm gonna shut up. It's not you fault. It's his fault because he has Mac he's back on it just it just seems weird that like He had a guy like this look at him. I don't hate him. I love him. I love Sam. It's not that. It's that you don't have the back He's what how to go down tell me how it went down. Uh, he asked me to come in on Wednesday I was on the subway with Mackie like two in the two in the morning, right? And Mackie come with me and what did he say? He said what a Mackie do. He said Bobby's gonna hate this But yeah, I'm gonna do it. He said that. Yeah, he didn't say that

He didn't fucking say that. Yeah, sure See if he said that I would have been happy No, he didn't say that. No, he said yeah, no problem he said no problem he said Mackie would be great yeah Mackie would be great Mackie is big fan and he's big fan and I'll tell you this right now he's been good not great little hurtful he's been quiet Mackie comes out guns blazing he does you see his brain working he's he's waiting is that I thought that was that was his Mackey don't let me down I thought he was having a stroke you guys really bailed out Bobby on that one.

There was a real bomb coming. Did you see it? It was a real piece of shit coming. It was like he was driving off the lot with a car with a dent in it, and then he stopped at the last second. You cock, Sucker, you almost got me. Yeah, let's get into Divari.

How we doing with no Divari? There's no Divian. We all saw it. Divian, Divian. This is not my first cock. I actually, Divarian sounds cooler. I'm going to even know the David David David This is not my first car. I actually The variant sounds cooler.

I was like, no, it sounded like I had a saviour in my mind. The variant Where are you from? Where are you from? I'm from the Bronx, I'm Puerto Rican. I know you're from the Bronx.

And you do comedy, you're a comedian for how long? About 20 years, eh? 20 fucking years. Start a stand up in New York. Stand up in New York and now where do you do comedy? Where did you end? 20 fucking years. Start a stand up New York. Stand up New York and now where do you do, come on. Where did you end? Honestly.

Here's what you know what? When it's like, as long as the twatiness is towards somebody else, I find it rather amusing. I'm a dog though. I have to hit the get the get the get the get the get the get. Everybody hates Annie. I'm telling everyone for a year.

She's great. She's actually funny and everyone's like, no she's not. She sucks. She's a good shit. She's a const. My parents great, she's actually funny. And everyone's like, no, she's not, she sucks, she's a good shit, she's a good girl. My parents. My dad started me young. All right, so go ahead, where you from?

And you do come to my aunt today. I'm sorry, wait. You need provisional. So I do, I have it actually in my bag. Can I have some? No, you can't, you don't need it, believe me, you don't need it. You're doing fine, you're fantastic. I don't, not for your show, for the other things I have to do today. I can't you don't need it believe me. You don't need it You're doing fine. You're fantastic. I don't not for your show for the other things I did today

I had I give it to you on your show Listen to me you do comedy for 20 years. I've never fucking heard about you But you're doing it up in the Bronx and up and I've been doing a lot of the urban rooms It's a very good way in the room just like that. Where are these fucking rooms? been doing a lot of the urban rooms. Urban rooms, and other rooms, and stuff like that. Where are these fucking rooms? Different clubs, different places. And you have your own comedy sheet.

You have a TV show which I actually watched. I didn't call you back on, because I got, you know, I just started doing my thing over there, and I got overwhelmed. But it wasn't, dude, it was actually fucking a cool little teaser for a television show, for a comedy thing. I actually, the Obama guy was fantastic and the show was great. What? What you're that's the way I roll, you fucking twats.

This should be the good idea for show. I can't get the good idea for show. You interview someone, but the person never speaks. I am uncomfortable with people calling women twats unless it's directed at Joe Mackin. I just thought, oh, fucking both of you, I'm getting to it. You're trying to get through it. Yes, maybe I'm one of my fucking, I'm not how it's turned, all right?

You've asked them four questions and answered five. Because I'm trying to get you through it's not that fucking interesting, okay? I was in a car lot for three hours with the guy believe me. Didn't buy shit. It was great. I was on the verge. I'm totally roses. I'll pay my bills. The verge pays my fucking eat everybody in this room right now. Literally, the fans, too. Fuck all of you guys.

For literally listening, so I have to come here every week. All right, listen. So you're right there. You did the TX playing your TX. It's playing it to fucking Annie and Joe in detail. So these fucking highfalutin twats can be happy. All right, now go ahead. Take a breather. Go Devarian.

Go ahead. They ain't so good at that guy in Starbucks. Took you a spot. I want to tell you, next time I see you, take a breather. Go Devarian. Go ahead. So glad that guy in Starbucks took your spot. I want to tell next time I see him take it, go. Zappel keeps calling me Devarian. Adam Zappel. I always me when they say that. It shows called Black Tino Comedy Jam and me and talent hosted it together. And we used to produce it at Stantham, New York four years we used to do it at Comic Stripping a couple

different clubs and I decided to make it a TV show. You have to be funny if you nickname yourself talent. The exact opposite are really talented. You can't be in the middle. And the show we taped I put it together myself I had three HD cams three and we did that light and quarters and basically the shows like a combination of dev jam and soul train what we do is we have a comedy show first Live musical guest after party after but every episode will be filmed at different major night clubs in different cities So I filmed the pilot myself and we're trying to picture right now Well actually I liked it Here's what I like and you go through the line

There's a big huge line out front and you walking through with the camera Which I liked and they had Obama open this guy who, I mean, that was one of the best Obama's I've seen. He has his own documentary on Showtime, it was called The Bronx of Obama. He used to be a weed dealer and then one time we had a party I'm like, dude, you got the ears, you look like Obama, you freaking went up, one, he's been doing it every time.

Are you taking credit for his full career? No, I just wanted honor, I just kind of switch weed and that's what pissed me out. Is this shit was good? I don't appreciate getting yelled at, Davian, because I'm the one trying to get you involved in the show. I appreciate you saying my name, right, for the fact that. Bobby is occupying your time.

Nobody else is bringing you in. And now I get mad. I get yelled at for making your name sound a little cooler, in my opinion. Davian, you've got like six months to live. Just let it be half. Six. How much fucking two weeks?

Just put a mix on the Adam's Apple. And it'll go right up. Right. That's my grandma. I know why you're fucking stuck in the Bronx. That's the worst. I don't even make sense. I don't know, did that work?

Yeah. Actually put a mix on everything. Oh, all right. It's like, when they do the Greeks. Yeah. So yeah, you did this show and then you do comedy. But it was actually, you know, people say, check out this link half the time.

It's like, you're like a fuck me. But it was actually pretty good. It was actually, I mean, you know, it's gonna be a tough sell. No, but everything, I really don't think that. I think because it's so, it's blacks and Spanish and where you're doing it, you know, minority, minority, everything is minorities now.

Because you're not hit black so hard. That's gonna be a good show, you know, it's black. That's the thing. Did I hit it? Did I hit it? Did I already hit the apologize? Did I hit it? Did I hit it?

Did I hit it? Did I hit it? Did I hit it? Did I hit it? Did I hit He's not. So I just keep looking at it. Hi, he's hi. It's I think it has a shot. Maybe show time or something like that because there's nothing like it. Oh, there's no there's no Spanish black black black. For the TV black. You know stands for Hosobite Black on his Spanish guy. I want to mix the show. Not just black. You want lights on it tooye Black on the Spanish guy. I want a mixture show, not just black. You want whites on it too.

Of course I do, of course I do. But they have to, but you can't just have a fucking corny white guy. You could have a guy. How about Joe Mackey's Ted Cruz? Oh, I love that. I know why you hate him now. Oh shit, I know. That's a little bit.

That actually. It's weird that on any of those urban shows that they had, the white guy I hate him now. That's a little bit of a break. That actually is weird. On any of those urban shows that they had, the white guy was always pretty much a black comic. You know, it was never corny, white. You never, I mean, because you'd bomb in the room, but would they, don't you think like a guy like Joe Liss would kill him?

I kill in black rooms because I don't pander. I think black people, they don't like, if you're just yourself, and I'd give a lot of sex stuff, which helps as well. I always kill in black rooms. Yeah, I mean I've done like six times Sincere is it fucking is it is it talent black or Hannibal Burris black? Alan Black or Hannibal Burris Black There's a big difference You know imagine? I did a bunch of rooms for our magic And they were all very urban rooms in there

Is that a room? I don't know room is I started it down now, Rowland used to take me around I started with him I was doing like Facebook jokes about my mom I just bombed so many places Now when you bombed like that in front of a crowd like that. Do they bow?

Yes. No, no, no, no. Are you shaken? Are you like, what are you not even give a fuck? No, why was so new that it was like exciting to have the experience? And I just knew I had to keep getting up and keep bombing. And he is. He's a hot man.

I am hardened. Yeah, emotionally. I started in New York, so I'm hardened. I fucking, I remember I bombed when I was young It shook me man. It was in a black room. You mean? No, I bombed I've never really bombed in a black room I did I talked about before though I did the biggest bomb I've ever had was in a black room in Buffalo on underground nightclub

Run by a pimp and no my auntie ran it Something good. This guy was a big motherfucker, big medallion, and I remember when I got into the car off the train, he gave me a big bucket of chicken wings because every comic, they were like, every comic wants a chicken wings. And- Oh, that was like that honor to get them.

Yeah, it was like an honor to get them. Like getting asked over to the couch on Carson? It was exciting. It was chicken. It was weird. And I remember I didn't want them, but I didn't want to let go. I don It was extra, it was chicken. It was weird. And I remember I didn't want him, but I didn't want to let go. I don't know, I'm good, I'm not eating. You didn't want him.

I had to sit there and hold. I was good. I didn't. And I held chicken wings for like 30 minutes back. Until you ate them all. And so we got to joke. We got it. You just keep fucking nailing it.

Fucking yucky. Oh god, I can never talk Fucking, yeah, I hate you. Oh, God, I can never talk to you again. I told you. How the world is in our money? I should not hate you. She's just an asshole. She really is.

I'm kidding, Mackie. Relax. You get all uncomfortable. I'm joking. I think you're bad comedy story starts with you getting a giant fucking chicken week. That's the answer. It was so bad. I almost, the guy was going to beat me up. The guy that went up before me killed so bad, he just knew everybody though. He knew everybody in the audience. He's

like, yo boom, and they were like, woo, and then he brought me up and 10 minutes in, literally two minutes in, I was bombing. 10 minutes in, I was at the end of my act. Like 40 minutes at 10 minutes in, I hate that. It's a good thing. I was, just sweat. And I had nothing left. And the guy yelled something on the back. And I just snapped on him and they laughed.

But this guy was a killer. Like he was a full-fledged wife, beater, muscles I've never seen on parts of your shoulders shoulders and like like muscles over he like he had abs on the side and just everything he came at me yeah with his shirtless he had a wife-beater on and he had a fucking I believe the saying he was a wife-beater he had a he came at me to kill me and they grabbed him and dragged him out. That's gonna laugh. He laughed. Take that back, he's son of a gun. No, he's from his school, he's from his hometown. He's an audience member, that's who we're trying to make

laugh, not you fucking. But that one wouldn't even affect you. If you bomb like that, you just be like, fuck it, I'm out. No, it affected me, but I just like, she does it every night to this day. I, to this day, I tried to bomb as much as possible. No, it was, it was fine, but the guy I remember the host came up much as possible No, it's it was fine

But the guy I remember the host came up and they really were it was that laugh. This was laugh house Really and yeah, and they were like booing and the host came up and he was like well forget that girl's name You're gonna never gonna see her again And then I was talking to him outside and he was like how long you doing? I was like three months And he was like, oh, I'm really sorry. It's like whatever. It doesn't matter But I don't remember his name either First time I bomb with the scariest room, back in the day it was scariest,

urban room was Capone. You know Capone, he had a room called Bronx BBQ's on Fordham Road in the Bronx. Was that just the BBQ's with a comedy room in it? Yeah, basically. That's the urban circuit mostly. And first two years I was at Staten New York, never bombed the once, never had that atmosphere.

But here, the stage was in the middle of the venue. The microphone came from the ceiling, and everybody's over there. Oh my god. Like a boxing ring. Like Michael Buffer. You felt like a comedy gladiator in Harlem, or something like that.

And it was a scary thing. The first thing I go up there, I'm like, yeah, I'm from Pellapark with out of block. Everybody clap. Second joke, didn't hit. Second joke, third joke didn't hit. Boo, get the fuck off go back to Pellaparkway

I thought I was gonna get shot and other people have gotten stabbed at that venue other comments for being bad Yes, like one point where you like I'm gonna start selling cars with them But it was challenging I was like I was like you know what if you could rip in an urban room You know it's to me it was just a cakewalk everywhere else. You know what I mean? Yeah, but is it worse to get to bomb in a fucking room like that where they just boo, get the fuck yelling shit at ya or in a fucking regular room

where they just quiet? Yeah, because sometimes those urban rooms, when you're bombing and they're turning on you, they're having fun. Like, fuck you, you face a shit. Yeah. But like these other rooms, why people just stare

So we actually listen you can react you can't there's so much you can say to someone just sit in there You know, but when they're sitting there you can just keep freaking going and when somebody's booing you You can't freaking keep going you got to make the decision either, let me get off the stage and relax, wait for the money, or just have him move to the market tomorrow. I think the worst is when half the room likes you and the other half hates you. And then you don't know what the fuck to do. Like you're like, you know, do stay.

And the other half's like, boo, get the fuck off. I had that at the wall. And I just kept going. But I just kept going. And I was like, yeah, you want more? And they were like, fucking, and then I just saw the manager like this get the fuck off. And then I was like, I knew that they, they, you know, this half had one and the two fucking,

you know, thugs, whatever the fuck was telling me to keep going. It was bad, but I would take the black room over getting boot off that shit, then a white crowd just staring at you. There's nothing worse than silence. I've had that to the cellar some nights. Just fucking nothing. And then you keep going and going. And then is it their fault or is it our fault? It's always the crowd. I don't know about that. It is because I'm saying the same words I said fucking an hour ago in a different place and it killed.

There's the same jokes. The jokes have been on TV. I have w2's I make money You're an asshole. It's always the side fits that side felt says it's never the crowd Siphon side felt These are pretentious fucking side felt so Seinfeld's I think you're great comic Jerry I think you're great comic Jerry I thought so is that but in comedian like he goes up and was it somewhere in Long Island? Yeah, and he's like complaining about the crowd back Right, right. Isn't make any sense. Well every comic gets off everyone's and you're like what the fuck?

You really are a fucking ass kisser, aren't you I am yeah, that's why I like Jerry's son felt on my nose. I tell you why why because I guess Mark Norman Was watching the ECK last week what did you say I thought he said you got nothing, you were stumbling on through that one. I don't know. Alright, I'm already... Attack him already. I want to do what I'm an ass. What is this attack?

I heard Louis CK was on stage and Mark Norman was there when he came off. Mark was like, oh you were real funny but you did want to bob Kelly's jokes to Louis CK. And then you told Mark Norman, not, you should never do that. Well, I think you should never tell Louis CK. I think you should do it to your friends, not to people you don't know. I think it's not quite the right thing.

So if a comic does a joke that you know it's somebody else's joke. Makes me an ass kisser. I think it's not you. I mean, if it's someone who I see all the time, like David Tell, I'm like, he would want to know that. I don't know Louis CK. I wouldn't do that. I don't know, I don't have to be like if it's someone who I see all the time like David tell I'm like he would want to know that I don't know Louis C. I wouldn't do that I don't know mom to be like that someone else is bit he'd be like who the fuck are you?

You don't think it's out of line am I I I would if I would do it? I wouldn't do it in front of other people either like to like be like you're Norman Did I want to a tell with one of my he's like oh Sam does that? So it's different. It's like he doesn't have real emotions are feeling He has weird fake ones. He made up and we're all just fine with it Well, I was like this is okay. You're a weird character He's an animatron. I mean, that Thanksgiving with his family. He's like that. I'm sure he makes me an ask I said I don't know what's your place to tell Louis CK guys that make me an ask us

Well, I think it's kind of like dude. You know me. You know Louis. You know Mark. I know you. I don't know Louis But would you go to a handful of times know Louis, you know Mark. I know you. I don't know Louis. But would you go to the end? I met him a handful of times. I don't know him like I know you. But if it was you, if someone does a joke that you know as somebody else's, it doesn't matter who they are. I mean, if you know them enough to go,

hey, what's up to them? You should go, hey, oh, what's his name? Does a joke for a similar to that? Well, I could say, and if it wasn't you doing it, it was actually Mark. But now Mark feels like shit that he did it That's I would Sam that's who like shit. Well, first of all, I could say he doesn't feel like shit He's a I could say 100% sure that Sam is not an ask us her at all most genuine and sincere

I know he's not an artist for also he's trying to protect Mark going what you can't just Talk to fucking Louis like that. He's trying to help Mark be like, you can't just walk up to Louis and start saying this shit. And Mark didn't feel bad. He talked to Louis after was like, hey, I hope you don't mind. They said that. Mark was like, you know what I'm saying now. He was like, you should have come in him that way. But maybe he should have gone to you and said something and then had you say something to Louis. Is that too awkward? That's like weird. No, I don't think that's awkward.

But I think someone saying, oh dude, somebody has a joke like that as comics is what we're supposed to I wish I the person I know that's what Luis said tomorrow. Yeah, that's what we're supposed to do I mean, I don't I don't think it's I think it's absolutely fine. What he did hey dude. That was real funny I just want to let you know blah blah blah so you know, but what seems like now for and I'm sure you've had this before at some point Or maybe not but I've had it where like you you're on the road you're in fucking, you know, whatever at some point or maybe not, but I've had it where like you're on the road, you're in fucking, you know, whatever, uh, St. Fuck Wear, Oklahoma, and the local MC comes by and I was like, Hey, Bobby, uh, just let you know I do that joke. Can you like, what? Okay, it's the fuck out of here. Yeah, absolutely. Like, there's people that, but you understand the, okay, here's

the, I don't have enough money to put out a fucking special every fucking six weeks, like a Louis, and I don't write as fucking much as him either But he goes out and puts out a special. I've been working on my new owl for two years And then I put it out after him and then I stole his joke I stole his joke. He didn't still mine and there's no undoing that right? I can't I could I would never be able to understand the like I look If you say to somebody if there's a paper trail of, hey, oh, market mentioned that, you know,

and then, oh yeah, I know that, we know, we talked about that, or it was already mentioned, then there's a paper trail where you know, or he could change it, or at least we know that we know. Right, instead of no one ever saying it. And tell it's too late. This should be a paper trail of some, hey, Annie, I know what you're saying.

It does that job. Yeah, something like that. Like that's a good thing for us. I think there's a way to turn it. I think of another girl, comic that you wouldn't get fucking offended by. Do you think I just do that? If I had mentioned a good, no, like a girl.

Well, no, well, I would. Have I come off as a girl in this? Not at all. You've literally, there's something from another planet that somebody made. You could be Mark Norman's sister Just no empathy for the human life. I just think it I think what he did was fine absolutely Okay, I just think there's a way to do it with like a guy at Mark's level talking to guy at Louis level

There's like marks a younger comic like me and Louis like a Louis if anybody Louis a fucking comedian comedian and I know I mean and he look know what I mean? And he, look, can I just say something? Yeah. It doesn't matter who you are, what he puts anybody, he thinks is interesting or funny in his show and tries to create with everybody. Right. And he sits down at that fucking table with everybody and we'll talk to anybody if you're

a comic. So, I think, I understand what you're, what you're coming from, but I think it is legit to say, hey, especially if you're Mark, Mark's not just a new guy, Mark's, everybody knows Mark, Louis knows Mark, he's not a new guy to Louis, he's very well known, Mark is an established comic at the seller. You know, Mark is, I mean, one of the next big rising stars. Oh, God, please stop. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I just You know, Mark is, I mean, one of the next big rising stars. Oh, God.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I mean, I just resent the word ask us because I have way too many beefs around the city. But I'm, I see. Let's hear about them, Sam. I said, I said, ask us just to get under your skin. Oh, you got. You got. I think, I think. Got into my skin like a two moon joke throat. Oh, I thought that was good. I can't really laugh like fucking this. I was still good. He really is like Joe Peck. That was a fucking good one kid. I didn't say that. You asked he did. Oh, sorry. I was Joe Mackie. Yeah. Oh, sorry. What did you change your voice? Mackie's back. I'm back. All right. Listen, so I just think that, you know, you just start the layoff mark. You should have said something too.

All right. I wasn't there. He texted me. He was like, do you think that was that a line? He asked my opinion. Oh, see, this is so fucked up. The story I got is you were both in the hallway watching Louis.

And this is the story I got. You were both in the hallway. And he came out and he said, he just said, hey, that's one of Bob's jokes. I just wanted to. And then you were like, dude, don't do that. Oh my God. So Mark made himself the hero to you and Sam the villain. No this was from Jason Chatworth. The Australian.

The Australian comic. I know the need. Yeah because it was on your podcast. Oh yeah. Yeah. Well look. Look. No you have a podcast. Mark is like, excuse. Wow, she is just the worst. I kind of like it now. It's like fucking spicy hot food. It's real big. No, you know what is it with your friends? You ask advice and you argue about shit. I got a whole different story.

What do you hate? Who do I hate? What is your problem? I don't know if I hate people. I'm right here. There's a type of comment. There's a type of comment. Do you not like her?

No, I don't not like her. But you don't care.. There's a type of comment. There's a type of comment. Do you not like her? No, I don't not like her. But you don't care. Oh, I like that. Yeah, you did say it. We're not like, I do not. Well, I don't, I've been seeing your ears. We're not like, we're not like close.

Did you like it when she was here? I didn't love her, but I don't dislike her. I used my best friends. I want to take everything back about you. You are just a really good guy. Listen. You caught, why'd you call our Hollywood? I was joking around, she lives in Hollywood.

Oh, okay. Well, I love you guys turn on me now, but I fucking expose you for the fucking... Yeah, and when you're actually, Jerry Springerly, he got this hot. I'm trying to be, because when I was trying to be Bob Callie, that wasn't good enough for you. How would you call him?

I'm trying to be a better talk show host. Fuck assholes. And what is this telling people we said before they got here? Shit. Well, what if they heard it? They called their Hollywood before she was here. Yeah, but she must've been really... Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincindia aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de madrida murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea.

Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, an asker, sir. I like you, Sam. You're first class dog. I like the dog is become a thing. That's a big thing. It has dog. I don't like the dog. I love the dog. I don't like it.

It's been doing the dog for a while. I don't like it. That's like when Keith Robertson used to play him. What's up, player? You know, give it up for this next player. Please don't say player to me. it made me fucking vitally angry players I think of it ironic it's fun yeah but he wasn't being ironic he was just what's up player what's up it's like dude you're 50

fuck best come back to anything so final I'm sorry we were literally moved on from your whole life. I apologize. Good luck up there. I'm still trying to figure out who this mark guy is. He's a rising the next big thing. That's why you're in the Bronx. I was doing the documentary for the seller. I was so fucking annoyed at this. So I'm sitting there and it was supposed to be like about the seller and I was going to answer questions about the seller and I was gonna answer questions about the seller all of a sudden, they're like, okay, just answer these questions as, you know,

when you do these talking head things. What do I think of this? Like, ask questions and then you have to repeat the question and blah, blah. And they were like, so do you think that like, Mark Norman and Michelle Wolfe, they're the next big things out of the seller? And I was like, I don't think so I don't know

You want me to say I'm allowed to be honest? Bob you're 50 Oh, yeah, baby Yeah, it was just fucking I was like so I had to kind of say yeah, they're really I love both of them, but I didn't want to fucking yeah, it's a weird question This is a documentary about the saddened what's happening how big this is gonna be then it's me going fuck them? Yeah, I bumped me on the road for that man. That seems like it could be cool that that documentary It was cool. Well, they actually almost got me they I got I'll be honest with this this actually this is tough to be honest with too

Oh boy, okay Actually, this is tough to be honest with, too. Oh boy. You're gay. Come on. Come on. You have a fucking half a queen, fucking 15 years. Are you out of your mind?

I came here when you used to be able to go to a fucking peep show. Fucking suck, dude. No, I'm joking. They get me to do this fucking thing. And then I'm supposed to do, they're going to film me for five minutes on stage, because I have to come up here to do this fucking thing, and then I'm supposed to do, they're gonna film me for five minutes on stage, because I have to come up here and do this.

And then as I'm going in, Judd Apital bumps me. Whatever, that happens all the time with the seller. People come in, bump your Chris, Judd, Louis, whatever, right? But at this moment, I was like, ah, fuck, I gotta go up, I gotta come up here, I'm doing five minutes, and Liz comes out with this dramatic, she's standing in the doorway. The camera's around me.

I'm a mite. And she's like, and I'm like, what? She's like, Judd's here. Oh my God. So what the fuck does that, what is that? You're the, that storyline, you're like the disappointment storyline. I'm like, I can't make it storyline. They're like, make a story line.

So I go, so what? Just tell him I want to go up. Tell him I'm just doing five minutes. She's like, he wants to go up next. I'm like, why are you fucking acting like this? I'd give anything for them to present it as your new, the new guy with the shower. Maybe just once in a while, the big guys get bumps.

I'd like that they, if they dab over and they're like, Michelle will be shown up. She will be gone next. That's me filming and big guys get bumps. I'd like that they if they dab over and they're like Michelle wolf is shown up That will be that fucking she will fucking Morgan Murphy the second will bump me soon Maybe Judd said you know Bobby Kelly's gonna be one of the next up and coming comics. What's your name again? coming comics. What's your name again? You're a killer buddy. Mid-bomb, he reads for the band, man. That's great. And to just have self-awareness.

First of all, I want to let you guys know, I blame me for this podcast. I don't blame you. I forget the fun time. I blame myself. Body, area, and nation, and the black. Yeah. Just real quick question. It's getting bumped like, like, you're waiting to get in on like a jump in basketball

game and then like the bigger black dude's like nah man just just wait next game whatever then he takes you why is he gonna what the fuck was that why does he get me a bigger black guy and then why would you actually tap the court and they usually get a bigger white guy and that's what you're not tap the bigger black guy next to you oh you got my hand in this situation the bigger black guy what you need is this whole shot we're good

all right listen first of all I give you full credit for being asking a question as one of the crowd members today. I would like to grab the mic anytime you want. You got a hot chick right there. Just tap her. I've never been so quiet in my life. I go up into it. I actually get bumped.

It's just part of it. I mean, unless you're the motherfucker. I mean You bumped especially at the seller. It's all I mean every even the new people the new comics at the seller a high level Comedians so that's it if you mean even the young motherfuckers Michelle Wolf is a writer for the show Mark Norman is a fucking Joe and all you guys huge podcast is called Tuesdays with Stories and it's on iTunes every Tuesday. It's enormous. You got a pump last night. It's huge.

You got pumped? No, I didn't get pumped. I just wasn't on the show. So anyways, but that happened last night. Let me finish this. I'm gonna say, but yeah, it happens all the time. But that's why I was like, all right, let me go ask. Let me just go talk to Judd.

And I walked up to Judd. I was like, look, I just gotta do this five minutes. And he was like, I was like, can I just go up before you? I'm doing five minutes for this documentary. He's like, he actually, he look, I just got to do this five minutes. And he was like, I was like, can I just go up before you? I'm doing five minutes for this documentary. He's like, he actually, he went, I guess. And I was like, oh shit, like this is some weird, I just want to. I guess you're super bad.

I look behind me, the fucking, they follow. They just love the fuck. Did I? They're like, I do my, I look, look. He goes, like, I guess you said no and they filmed that. Oh my god. You just had to sit there during a set. Well, I just wouldn't have went on. I would have been like, okay, so I'm, look, he goes back. I guess she said no and they filmed that. Oh my god. You just had to sit there during a set? Well, I just wouldn't have went on.

I would have been like, guys, I'm not going up, fuck it. And they would have spun you to be like a little bit. Well, here's what they did, ready? They did fucking catch me out there. So I was like, all right, thanks man. And then whatever, I was like, fuck him whatever. And I go, I go, look, don't film this shit. Get out of here.

This is the table. You can't just film anybody. And then I go on, I do my dumb set. And five minutes, I come off. They go, we just do a quick Q&A. And can't just film anybody. And I go on, I do my dumb set and five minutes, I come off, they go, we just do a quick Q&A and then thank you so much. I was supposed to do an interview. That's it. Now they were up at the podcast. They had me doing this thing. They had my set. They had this. And then they go, okay, and I remember the lady takes a breath. She goes, okay, and I'm outside. How does it feel? And I go, what?

How does what feel? She goes, to get, when you get bumped by a guy like John. And I was like, are you doing this? I was like, are you making me into the bump guy? I go, you, you had the story fucking on this long to figure that out. I mean, they were doing it from moment one. They probably called Judd in at that time.

They produced that. I got it. Tom, I know, I got it. But no. It's not a big thing, man. Bobby, it's not your fault. What do you mean? I don't know.

People hunting me. I like it a lot. I like it a lot. I like it a lot. It's good, yeah. You can't just fling it at me, my enemy. Yeah, she's got reagitious. Walk it with you.

I do. Let's get her medicine before you start stuff. Can we please get back to this jerk and off your boyfriend in his own face? I mean, I really, I had a heart on there. I so want to hear the rest of the story. Anyways, without the stinks, I want to come in the eye. The end of the story is basically I was like, you're not fucking doing this to me.

And then Mark Norris comes up and says, uh, Judd Apatow is doing one of your bits. And then... There we go. She's back. Ha ha ha. Ah ha. Yeah, I was like, you're making me into this sketch.

She goes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you fucking are. I go, that's, that's, that's not what I signed up for. I signed up to do you an interview, and now you're trying to find some story arc or some bee plot with me, like, comics that get that get bumped I go that shit happens all the time fuck that I just hope the whole documentary spins into you freaking out in the middle of the documentary oh she still has it I was looking for the band but she has it it's cool guys don't I'm I'll hang on to it. I was confusing ones we're no one's quite sure what's happening. Because I didn't take my fucking Provisual.

Wow, three in a row. Anyways, yeah, so that's what happened. Yeah, we should have a candlelight Provisual for that joke. That would be a lovely show. I'm going to let's get to the show today, guys. Thanks, man. Oh, man. Coming to zone face.

All right. All right, so there's no story. There's this story. All right. All right. So, there's no story. There's no story. All right. Fine. During the visual. That's it. That's how you give up that quick.

I'm afraid of her. Why are you afraid of her? She's terrifying. I can't even look over there. Why? I don't want you lying. You're neck thing at me. Why are you afraid of her?

He's not afraid of me. It's my best friend. Are you guys best friends? Well, we were in Iowa at the same time. And you He's not afraid of me. It's my best friend. Are you guys best friends? Well, we were in Iowa at the same time and you never got back and we could hung out Remember Oh, when I was at a university I was like staying on the campus and show I was on the kids Anyways, that's weird. It's got a couple things from Long Island. I hear from Long Island. Are you? No, I'm from Philadelphia I Scupper things from long Island. I hear from Long Island, are you? No, I'm from Philadelphia. I literally don't like anybody here.

What? I thought we were pretty close. We talk on the phone. I just start talking to Bobby on the phone after this. Me and you talk. I didn't invite you to my barbecue. Don't text him really sweet things. He'll spin it as you're a piece of shit. What do you talk about?

When I text you long text, I'm like, thank you. I love you. I'm gay, we should have sex and then you're like, dude, you're fucking phony, you're fucking phony. He doesn't, he doesn't even respond to my texts, it's not only about it. Because they're not taxes? What do you put the plenty of? Emotionless text them. I just get maxi. I don't like fucking, I think texting is inhuman. Call me on the fucking phone and tell me. Don't text. Don't text shit.

Hey Bob Leonard Oots has a question. That's right. Just a little. That was an interesting thing. Leonard Oots was one of the, with Michelle and Mark as the next big thing comedy. By the way, those are the, I actually said, oh Michelle and Mark yes, I I go Leonard I don't think so

Really like just sell a pilot or something anyway, no, yeah, he did okay. I stopped defending Fab black guy defense Okay, so I'm going through this issue right now where my friends He's moving up to New Jersey to New Comedy. And I want to like move to, but what I'm asking is how long before you guys moved to New York to New Carmen? I started here, just started here.

Yeah, but I think I would never suggest that. I think starting here, that's it because I think a lot of people who start here and then if you, if you develop here, people are watching you develop against clubs. You get frozen, I myself. Let it go, let it go. That is your guy. It's your guy.

The large electric dough. Hey, he's already not a credible person. He's about a ringer. He's his favorite comedian. He's the reason I found the YKWD-us because of him. Oh, thank you. I think, Alex. I think the, I think you actually, for me,

I waited till I became at least a strong middle, almost a good headline before I moved to New York City. Oh, I thought you could say before you started the podcast. He moved in 2008? Yeah. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER Yeah, I don't, I't mean to start here. That's great that you did that that's hard as fuck because people watch you develop you suck and he's like start here to come

if you're three years and get on a bunch of TV shows. And die here blonde and being shaped. Oh, I mean, I hate to thank you. You are. Where you from? You don't say what shape. Where you from? I'm from state college Pennsylvania. We're Penn State University is. Thank you. You are. Where are you from? You don't say what shape? Where are you from? I'm from State College, Pennsylvania,

where Penn State University is. All right. Yeah, go. I've been there. I started joking. Hey. You're from Joe Lists town. Oh, fancy.

Hey, I have everything. The chocolate chip cookie was invented in our town. That's right. Look it up. Hey, did everyone always look at you like you're a judge? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke. Dude, did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up?

Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up?

Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up?

Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Did you joke it up? Mackey rage. Stay college, they invented defensive coordinators that fuck kids. Oh, that's university park Pennsylvania with the evidence. Idiot. Did you go there? Yes.

The fight. The fight he was one of St. Deskies' children. Watching you girls fight. That's why he got frozen as a child. Let it go. That's why I got frozen as a child. Let it go. Bobby's laughing. He was laughing about something I said earlier. It was continuation. I did comedy for seven years before I moved here. And I was also a

very strong middle-act. Yeah, but you, yeah, you were strong. Where do you come from? I'm from New York City. I'm about that. Really?. Yeah So where did you go to do comedy I eat comedy was here you started here I started here, but I was gonna say Mac and I started together at the comments from a D.F. Sweetlaus class and Yeah, yeah, yeah, and you'll fuck his D.F. Sweetlaus Well, this is not a good pitch for his class Yeah, it actually is a good it was a good starting place close and I got kicked out of a common class Tim Davis's class of Sten is in New York back in the day.

That's where I start. You never, Bobby was saying you never get the respect where you start. You know, it's just a fact. So, yeah, that's where I want to move to LA. Well, I mean, seriously, if you're a killer, I remember who did that Bob Marley, you know Bob Marley, the comedian. I remember he came to, he was up in Maine and the hamster doing all the shit. Then he came to Boston and went up on an open mic

and just fucking like annihilated, like no, and he was the new guy. But he really, he wasn't a new guy. He was fucking headlining up there. So he was a new guy to us and all the clubs. So everybody was fucking all over him. Did the same thing to LA, went to LA as the fucking new guy, but he was just a monster and he took over up there.

So I think when I came here, like, Patrice did that, Bird did that, Cook did that, I did that, and a few other guys did that. Some guys came here from Boston though too early, and they sucked, and then they just went right back. You and I got advice from you before I even knew you. I just heard it. Your advice became the advice in Boston

where you should, when you go to New York, you want people to be like, that guy is good instead of being like, that guy's gonna be good. Yeah, I remember saying that. If you're from New York and you make it out of here, originally that, I think that's way harder than anybody else. But do you think it's so, it's like, I feel like the mic scene is like anonymous though in a way.

Like you're not like, it's just, you're only in that crew. Like you're not, I wasn't like, I didn't hang out at the cellar or anything before I moved. I wasn't like, I want you guys to know who I am when I'm not good yet. Like I never did that. Yeah, but if someone came into town and just annihilated

on the open Mike scene, that would be heard. You know what I mean? You'd be heard. And then if you came into like the other clubs, not maybe here, but maybe this stand and just, did you see that new fucking, and we were like, wow, and you know, that little buzz does go a long way, especially in this fucking industry. But I feel like if you start here, you get like a strong foundation. And then when you go to LA, it's like so easy because they don't have that like the same edge in LA and there's like, it's so much looser

and not as like. But don't you think that the LA scene is... So then you can kind of get both of those, like, what do you mean? Don't you think the LA scene is, I mean, I think it's, I look at these shows now at the comedy store and I'm like, fuck, I mean these are just killer. I think it's changed. Yeah, but here's, well I came, okay, so I was here and I was getting spots and stuff, but it wasn't, I wasn't, I never like auditioned for the cell or anything like

that, but I was like at the stand and stuff like that. I moved to LA. And then I got in at the comedy store. And now when I go back, I think it's like not a bad position, but I guess maybe it's just that I got in. You have a question. Well, no, I was just fucking chill chill tell us all right. I was just about to say Joe said He mentioned that you gave him that he gave you that Bobby gave advice, right? Well, I got a second hand Somebody was like Bobby Kelly says this so Here's a thing is never not a fucking ass. She went here with a Boston advice

So Bobby what I'm trying to get at it. Yes, buddy. You have changed lives You change Joe's life with that advice piece of advice. I think raise your hand Tell her what you're gonna say Anymore because you guys moved on so fast as a fan ever gotten the bomb down You've changed my life Bobby for sure You're right Has a fan ever gotten the brum danna before? No, you've changed my life, Bobby, for sure. You're right. This actually goes against me because I'm the good guy

in this story, but I am actually with Annie. I want you to tell her your question. But I have the same rage she has for you about. Bobby, do you think like a little bit of anonymity, especially if you're coming up in New York, like Mackie and I at the comic strip, no one really saw us. We knew we weren't strong yet. Like, I remember Mike D. Stefano would say he came up at Ha and no one saw him. He got to get good at Ha

and you get to be anonymous. Yeah, but look what happened to him. Yeah, no, I think that, but here's the thing too. First of all, I think there's more clubs in the West back of that. When I came in, there was way more clubs going on now. But I think, you know, maybe now you can kind of hide a little more, but back then it was the Boston Comedy Club, it was Standard New York, it was Caroline's, it was here. You didn't have H. You didn't have the stand, you didn't have all these other side, you didn't have fucking Brooklyn.

They had some of those things that like the pink pony where, you know, you, they, but those were fucking weird shows that it wasn't about comedy. It was about, you know, a chick would stick a fucking onion and a vagina and shoot it out. Is that not comedy? I know anymore. You've never seen my act.

I know I have a goofy Adam Zappel, but David, you were gonna say something earlier and then they get distracted by. Oh, the scary thing for me is the multi-lay is the money out there in LA because there's a lot less in my opinion what i've heard to compare compare to what it is in new york you know what you live in l.a. right yeah i mean

i was at the i was at the store on the same show that i was on it was like concurrent so freaking you have bob sagg was first time i have to be the bodega or the i mean the comrade at the comrade store and freaking uh... well the the shows at the barbeque or the... The comedy store. I mean, the comedy store. And freaking... Well, the show's at the barbecue. Dice was there. Any birthday friend and dice guy.

And a bunch of these guys were there and then the guy gives me a $15 check. And like, what the fuck is this? I thought I was getting jerked at actual. Well, it depends on the room and it depends on the night. So it's like, if you're in the OR, if you're a paid regular in the OR, you get $15 a set for 15 minutes. And then if you're in the main room on the weekends,

if you're on the main room on the weekends, they split the door so you make like 300 bucks. Oh, I'll give you. I don't owe any $20. Which I didn't know I was like, I'm sick. And then they must have thought I was such a fucking bad ass. I don't need your fucking money. And then I found that out.

I'm like, can I get up tonight? Did anyone drop out? Well, the improv gives you that eight dollars. It's still giving me anything I felt the tax for Simon worth like seven dollars is like fuck you my boyfriend works at the impraven He's the one that hands the money over and and the rent and cannot be You know, at least in New York City these clubs can say dude my rent is 30 million dollars a month You know, I mean you can't in LA, there's no way they can do that. First of all, you probably own the fucking building by now. Because you're next to houses.

The improv is next to fucking regular people's homes. It's not like, it's yeah, it's on marrows, but it's, what the fuck? And I mean, it's like $7, I don't get it. I don't fucking understand it. I don't understand that either. The most embarrassing part is to have to go to being a lay and to change my 15 dollar check out a check caching With little Chicano behind the window and I'm getting back 1362 after they take out that

I rose and handed to her You know what I'm saying you know that book I'm dying up here about the comedy strike in LA Tom Drieson Tom Drieson was like one of the heads of the It's Drieson. It's Drieson. I know I'm kidding But that's fun humor Just a lie just a weird lie That their comedy is that they're a liar But I said my message is being like oh thanks for all that stuff he did because he just

added me on Facebook for some reason and he wrote back you know they passed less now than they did in the 80s. Wow. They went. They went. You know the New York, I mean we got together and formed that New York comedy community. Whatever the fuck they the coalition, the comedy coalition and we basically forced all the clubs to pay us more money. Oh, we weren't working the clubs. You see B They wouldn't let you you see B

Well, you see B wasn't even involved in that but that that whole thing. I don't think so I don't give a fuck about it. I was gonna say maybe Sam should go to LA and kill himself What the fuck he's wrong with. He can't say a company, but he can tell his best friend to kill himself. I love it. He knows I'm kidding. Does he? I don't want this to end.

This is so much fun. Let's talk about something else. Abortion. Too funny. Is there really abortion right now? Is there abortion? Yeah, I mean, who the fuck is that? Yeah, there's seven right now down the street abortion? Yeah, I mean who the fuck is that? Yeah, there's seven right now down the street.

Don't you know, just wear rubber. I mean really, the guy's fucking banging. Are you serious? I have a kid. Never said they're older and older. I'm the type of bees we all obviously are going to get it eventually. I'll be like, a people are still fucking out there. How many abortions you get?

11. This is fine. I never got an abortion. Never. No. Have you ever gotten a abortion? No, yeah. Would you get an abortion? I would feel really guilty about it at my age now because it's like I'm a grown-up.

And your money? I mean that's so funny, you think I'm money. You have some amount of money. He thinks everybody has money. It's amazing. He talks to me like dude you got money and it's like dude I have money, but uh... Some amount of money. He thinks everybody has money. It's amazing. He talks to me like, dude, you got money. And it's like, dude, I have a car. Can I tell this story? I think I might have told this story last week.

Maybe I didn't. This, I call Bobby on the phone. Can you talk in? Yeah. What is it? What's your quick? Use the microphone to cover your mouth when you tell me this story, because I don't look at it.

Sure. I'm gonna force you to start it. We're talking on the phone. Yaddy-yada. And Bobby's like, I just bought my first luxury car. I don't know if I didn't do with David I got the car. Did you see the car? I don't need to see the He literally says I just bought my first luxury car. That's a quote luxury car Yeah, he's like how you doing? I'm doing all right. I'm worried about

I'm like I'm worried about money But we know we know what your standards are I'm worried about money. I didn't get that. I got it from my other lady, but we know we know what your standards are I'm worried about money. I got to move my rents going up. It's a tough biz Bobby's like, dude, you don't even have it hard listen to this yada yada boo boo boo boo I The sentence ends with I got it harder than you and then I say I can't hear you over the sound of your luxury car Literally opens with I just bought a luxury car and closes with I have it harder than you financially It parks itself when you there's a

Really does you put and it works I can't believe how much I have a luxury metro card It lets me unlimited for seven days. I like the part with like at night You can set the lighting inside the car. I use purple. Yeah, it matches my purple iPhone cord that I use. Oh, that's the thing you're meant to do. You're purple, you're purple, you're purple, man. I'm sorry, is that you fucking do?

Anything you, anything you, anything you. I'm sorry, let's compare Dix after the show. I, I, yeah, I like my, look it. I'm saying that I have it rougher than you and it, you first of all, you have money. Everyone has it rough. Everybody, everyone have it rougher than you and you first of all you have money Everyone has it rough everybody. Thank you. You're absolutely fucking right. I think it's all relative Well, I always I love like the argument when women are like it's so hard for them Like age is I'm as hard for women, but it's not hard for women to start out in comedy at all

I always hate that argument. It's like it's both.'s like, it's easy because there's not as many people and you just, you don't, you're, whether you want to or not, you're like falling into it. They wanna put you on a show. They want one woman on a show always. And you get more opportunities. Like, I fucking went to Montreal. This guy, you got fucking nothing.

I got everything. Yeah. I used to be like, oh, I'm about 25 years, longer than me. Yeah. I got everything. You got zero. You got on best to the fest.

I did. I asked. Yeah. We're all hanging out. We're having the time of our lives. And he's like, I'm going to go get on a show. And that was mind blowing to me. I'm like, I don't even understand what that means.

You're just going to get on a show. And I'm like, fuck you. You're taught. You leave. I go out at the time of my life. I'm drinking beers. I'm fucking strippers. I come back.

I'm getting agents. I'm getting managers. I'm getting development deals. I'm getting. I'm getting agents, I get managers, I'm getting development deals. And I go- I'm gonna go watch- You know what, forget it. I'm gonna go enjoy comedy, just-just fill out of my own head. I'm gonna go out of my own head. I'm gonna watch Best of the Fest.

Where's jumping your headliner? Annie Letterman! She fucking ate a bag of dicks the night before on new faces, and then headlines. It was 10 times before I. I did our second show. Did you really eat your dick in my show? Yes, but so did he. The only thing was Joe Mackie.

I had to go after Mackie. I mean, we all ate it and Joe Mackie. It was so annoying because it was like he's the only one you're rooting for out of the whole group first of all. What's up? No, Joe. I know you guys about you. How about this?

This is a good people thing I'm joking. I swear to God're saying. You're the reason for you. How about this? People think I'm joking. I swear to God, this is not an exaggeration. I'm on stage watching people leave the room to chase Mackie out of the room. Oh, I'm shaking. Industry's leaving. Our showcase isn't a room that is, there's a pillar in front of the stage.

There's a bar in the room, like really, like in the room in the room. It was not a good set up. Everyone's, all the history is in the back. The show's running two hours late, so they already don't want to be there. They're on the back, like, on their fucking blackberries. And then there's also howie Mandel.

It's just howie Mandel, the industry, no one upfront except one woman with a notepad, I don't know what she was doing. And then it was the worst thing in the world. It was super hot in there too. It was hot, it was a terrible experience. Everyone was bombing Joe Mackey crushes. Crushes, in a way like they were like we've never seen a woman kill like that

well hilarious but to bomb to bomb have to get off in front of all the industry after all this pressure and then also see how he Mandel was so and very needed. Fuck you, how he Mandel. How are you, great? We love you. But he did love Joe Mackey.

And he brought Joe Mackey to be his opener in all of his hours. Where are you, Joe? I got to be honest, his gala show, which was great, because we did that new face- Look at a Joe Litz face. We didn't get paid. We didn't get paid.

We had a parallel way. And then I think I got a check for that, where I didn't expect to get looking to do with face. You didn't get paid, you didn't get paid, so we had a pair of all around. We had to pay our own way. And then I think I got a check for that, where I didn't expect you any money out of it. No, we had to make it a win for all of us, because we all failed so miserably, that we were like, yay, one of us got something. And then I got all of Hollywood. Did you really, you did, didn't you?

I got a lot of stuff, yeah. I got on Chelsea Lately right away, all a bunch of show. I got my own show. I didn't get one eating. I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I fucking hated you so bad. I got my own show. I didn't get one meeting. I got the booze, man. I fucking hated you so bad at the beginning of the show. I fucking love your honor. I really did.

I hope I was praying that a meteor would fucking come into this. I just mush you. You a fucker, her? Her honest guy's fucking I got it all. That's what I always say. But he looked it all through all you guys when I got it all and smiled and all your faces. That's what I always say. People are always like Annie's at content all the guys when I got it all and smiled and all your faces. That's what I always say.

Annie's a cunt and I'm like, but that's her thing. It's my thing. My parents raised me this way. Nobody calls you a cunt. No, no, no. It's not true. They called you Hollywood. I feel a lot.

So you got a lot of stuff from that. I got a lot of stuff from that and it was funny because I started here, right? So I always, this, like in New York, it's like, it's about jokes. It's about work ethic. it's you earn everything. So that was my first experience with anyone from LA. And I was so scared, because I bombed, and there was this agency that was so after me from the very beginning.

And I was just felt uncomfortable, because I was two and a half years in, did not deserve it at all. So I eat shit, I eat shit, and I walk out to just handle my bomb'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it.

I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it.

I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do it. I'm gonna have to do don't worry you got a good luck which was so infuriating to me. Because that was when I was still like

don't even call me a female comic and I'm like whatever whatever gets me anything I'm fine. But it's like it's just like it was just I was I'm you got a good looking I was so insulted by it and then I was like yeah I ate it so bad I always tell people like it doesn't matter like nothing matters. It a little off putting there's Thank you. Well, I was on to there's nothing you don't think she's pretty. She's pretty funny. Oh, there's nothing worse. No I was actually talking Joe Mackie Women to go just saying a whole way times a row so you don't have to waste the rest of the podcast.

You smile when you're angry. So it takes away all the anger. It makes me want to call you a vagina again. There's nothing worse than bombing and having someone be like, oh, no, no, no, really wasn't that bad. Because you know it was bad. That happened to be the whole time that was there. We were flapping and then they brought like, this is Fox.

Do you want to meet ABC? And I get away from me. And I remember Singer came by and he was like, in his fedora and he was like, how is the show? And I was like, it was fucking terrible. And he got so mad at me. And I was like, do you want me to lie to you? I just, we all spent our savings.

Like, none of us have, we don't have reps. We don't have anyone to pair away. You said, I remember seeing this. You said, how could you put us in that position? Like, how dare you put us in this position? I was fighting for all of us. I was like, I can't believe you did this. And then our second show, I got all this shit because they didn't tell us the lineup

to like right before the show. And I was told that they were just flipping the lineup. I was like, all right, I'm going like 4 through 6 or something. And they go, you're first. And I go, I have five fucking minutes now. This is like our last shot. You gave us this whole fucking shitty thing. And then that turned into, I didn't want to go first, which is bullshit.

I would have gone first. I just wanted a little fucking time to prepare. Right. And I was like so mad. And I wasn't in a position where like I was still getting attention. It didn't matter. So I was like, I'm going to fucking fight for this. I remember Ryan Dalton was always like, you have to, you have to keep this down or whatever. And I say me now. And I'm like, I stand by fucking everything I did. Good for you. Festival. Good for you. I fucking love you now. They'll never have me back but I mean I'm same here but I fucking love you. They said it was funny because apparently I said to one of the guys as a joke. Obviously joke. He said like oh would you want to come back to the festival?

And I said no I don't really need it. Like as a joke. And they took that they told my manager that I said that as like a serious thing. Like I'm. Oh yeah. I love the festival. But I never, but here's the thing. I never had that opportunity. I never got new faces when I was a new face. I never got an opportunity ever. I was fucking headlining, making a living as a stand-up comedian. I was a seller comic before I got new faces. Yeah, I never got new faces. Never got it. And any showcase. I was an open-mic micro for two and a half years. Yes, but that's that's I was 14 years in Those things aren't meant it's a casting call. It's not a fucking it's not who's the greatest new young Comedian sure it's who's a bucket who's a good comedian and who we could do something with that we could do some and even Joe Mackie that that's something they've never seen before you know what I mean funny one look man we've been through this I mean

I'm over here but it was I mean I bombed I've bombed so bad on any of those fucking so hard it's like the pressure is too much. I told you I bought so bad at in LA at the improv at a industry showcase Peacerelli annihilated and then Joe Mike just the font what the stuff on oh went up these the photo went up and fucking murdered Yeah, and I went up and bombed like I've never bombed I literally at the end of my act I Said nothing I counted to 25 in my head. Oh my god, and I stared at everybody. I was going on For five and then at the end I go that was pretty uncomfortable wasn't it? I go now you know, I feel That's the best of a comedy with a lesson. I was so

I was watching it. That's the best type of comedy with a lesson. I was so I like when you want when you bomb you have to go like um well take care like there's like not a way out You're like this okay? Hope you guys have a good day. It's such a fucking industry show cases when there's something on the Fucking line. Yeah, you never feel like yourself. Well because the only people that can just be like it doesn't matter Are the people it really doesn't fucking matter for like women in comedy? just be like it doesn't matter or the people it really doesn't fucking matter for like women in comedy. Well I did learn that lesson that's what I know that like me being a woman and I think you know like I believe in myself and I'm funny you know I tried my hardest so it's not like it's over I got tried.

I already made it. It's not I don't think I had that hard of a thing but I think probably upcoming will be hard for me the future is gonna be rough. Um, I called a quick if I'm in a really name drop here. I called Quinn because of the devastated I bond with my careers over and he also got to talk to him and then he left for 15. You got your laugh. And uh, but his he gave me like a a big speech and speech became his uh... the one he gave the uh...

state of the industry that's the industry the uh... what do you call the open union what do you call the you know you you know that was a joke yeah i know you say stay in the show but you know i got a scope of my news that it's not a lot of you know that the union is here it's not a joke he was trying to be fucking each hand in the business too, and they realize he fucked up because that's Andy Kiddler No, I think it was no it's state of the union. I was joking Is she is actually real. Yeah, I know what that is. I hate you Jim Norton did it. I like it. It's gopos joke

All right, go ahead, but I love you. I told my story over now. We know you like it your fan likes it What do you guys do? You guys are talking about it like a one thing a New York comics of an chef I think you get a headliner to help them out and help them like if you guys had that like a headliner Take your ring you said don't know while you say you were able to call me Thanks. He's helping me quite a bit, but I don't know no. I yeah I had a donnell in the beginning and Jim took me on the road for like, he even had a room. Jim?

Oh, I hate that he said Jim. Why? Why? To say his name. To say Jim, like, fucking, we all know, like, everyone knows. Do know him. You do know him.

Yeah, but not everyone knows. There's other people listening to this. I mean, Jim, I went on the road with Nick. I was hanging out with Connick Jr. Nick the Polaroid. Hey. I went on the road with Nick. I was hanging out with Connick Jr. I had a Joe Yanetti who you know. I know. I love Joe. And then Billy Martin who is Grip and Bill Martin. Bill Martin. He's actually the executive producer of the Bill Marshall show. Now I started to warm up What for the show? Yeah, I really yeah

Well, I said I have I don't know but I had I mean I mean Patrice Dane Burr we all hung out. I mean we we kind of our own fucking Check point, you know what I mean? We were like a group and we kind of checked each other out and then we got here was Norton and Keith Robinson and Jim. Jim. But is there another Jim you could have been thinking I was talking about? I was I was I know who you're talking about though she's not Jim Florentine didn't take her with him it was Jim Norton we all know that she

opened. We do there's a fucking audience here. Can you not yell at me? Jim like Jim you know you need to learn how to You said Jim, like, I am a gym. You know, everyone obviously. You need to learn how to do this. Okay, this is what I didn't in Montreal that got me all the stuff. Joe would give me so much shit. He's like, he's like, we're all having fun over here.

I'm like, I'm literally talking, come talk to, have fun in front of them. I don't wanna talk to the industry. They're terrifying. We bombed. We have to show them we have anything to offer. I like the 30 year plan. You're absolutely right.

You have to, there is something to be said. And I was mean to them. I wasn't being nice. I was like being mean to the industry. That you show them your mean. You're a hot chick. You can't be a white fucking straight nerd. And be like, I'll tell you guys like it is.

And be like, get out of here. You fucking diamond doesn't piece of shit. Jesus Christ. I said a muscle. I think I'm dying. How much do you think? No, but I think she has a poker to the side. I understand what you're saying. I'm out of my mind. I'm out of my mind. I'm out of my mind. I'm out of my mind.

I'm out of my mind. I'm out of my mind. I'm out of my mind. I'm out of my mind. I'm out of my mind. I'm out of my mind. I'm out of my mind. I'm out of my mind.

I'm out of my mind. I'm out of my mind. I'm out of my mind. I'm out of my mind. I'm out of my mind. I'm out of my mind. I'm out of my mind. I'm out of my mind.

I'm out of my mind. I'm out of my mind. I'm out of my mind. I'm out of my mind. I'm out of my mind. I'm out of my mind. I'm out of my mind. I think it's not the big necks to his chin. That's very hurtful. He needs to. But. You can only suck agent penis. You can only be on Gotham. That's what I know good. Oh, the TV show.

Well, anyways. So you like your little chipmunk. I had to learn how to do that too, because I had this thing with industry where I was like, fuck them. I, you should, it's not. Go over and just talk to them, whether they're gonna give you something or not. They want to, uh, schmooze.

They wanna have a good time too. And if you can go over and, hey, what's up? And just have a fucking regular conversation. Shoot the shit, be yourself. And then, no one to fucking walk away. I'm telling you, this, is people who like you give you shit. That's it. People who like you bring you on the road, clubs it like you hire you.

And people in the industry as far as people who are making shit happen, Louis or fucking AB whoever, yeah, get him. We like her, get her, we like her. That's it. It's not about, look, everybody has enough talent to be on TV or to fucking write a pilot. We could all do that, we've all done it. You're saying Chris Scopo can write a pilot.

Not everybody, but he could definitely be a background person on a show. Thanks, buddy. On your show. I defended the state of the union, I thought it was good. We shut up and just let it take a half him I feel bad. You see this is why I Don't even move he took it. Yeah His question. I mean, Liss you had DiPolo was big for you. Yes, Nick

But everyone knows that Nick I had a df sweetler and who the fuck is he? I know who it is he? I don't know if he's the class. I mean who is that? We bring him up. I know who it is, but I just I went on the road with Marin just once and he got me past the comedy stories I went there. Did you have a guy try to hit on you like a comic actually? I mean like not not the bigger guys No one no one that took me on the road did. I mean, I don't think they were like don't have sex with me Like I don't think that'd be like stop don't send me pictures of your did. I mean, I don't think they were like, don't have sex with me. Like, I don't think they'd be like, stop, don't send me pictures of your ass.

I don't know him. I don't know him. Yeah. He's a strip guy. I don't think he's a good guy. I know who you are. He's brought me. I don't work.

I've only, you know, and I like to strip a lot, but every, I just, it's too far up there. Yeah. I don't want to fun go all the way to the fuck up there. Anyways, um, I mean, it's too far. Dude go all the way the fuck up there anyways And me having is too far dude It's in the same for me For me dude, are you roll the bloody well if you get on the

If you get on the wrong subway, it'll take a lot longer. I remember I when I when I first moved to New York I used to roll my My boyfriend roll their blades. I used to roll a blade down here I used to remember taking my rollerblades off at Washington squint park Did you have to carry like a really big backpacker? Did you just tie the shoelaces and hang the mugger? Hey Joe when you put DM-sweeler in your face? I had a bag. I had a bag.

Oh, that's... Oh wow, look at that! We had that short lived show with the strip remember that? I sure did, yeah. Yeah, all right. Well, we had to kill the shell. We have any ads to read? We do, yes, but we had to read it with the phone because they just got it.

Okay, great. I don't even know what that means. What does that mean? That's what it means. It was just email to me. Do we have to read them live? Or can I read them later? You read them later.

Okay, cool. You want PPs? All right. Anyway, we're going to wrap this up right now. No, don't worry, it takes around 15, 20 minutes anyways. We're going to do some chat. Yeah, we're going to do some chat. Can we pick up this coffee, Chris?

Okay. You motherfucker. Yeah, all right, yeah, we're gonna give the chat real quick. All right, Andrew Jackson says, Joe's throat is sore from swallowing his pride and show business. No, nothing, all right? Well, I mean, if we let somebody else read that, it would have been funny.

But you're a show business. I just don't know how it makes sense. Sw sense swallowing my I don't understand what the context I got what else you got for Asia Brown says all this yelling is scaring my dog what yelling I was yelling too I think I I I I've lost the self-esteem in I L and I graduated a two-man I think we're very similar yeah as soon as you walked in I didn't like you and I hate myself. So I think it's I've never liked it. It's weird that I can. But it's weird that some Twitter

followers. Well, I didn't even know who you were when I was like, who's Annie? And he showed me a picture. I was like, who? I go, isn't that that other girl? But all right, cool. What else you got? Joey Roland says Joe Mackey looks like a dehydrated Bobby Moynihan. Oh, that's fun. I don't really understand the dehydrated party there, but do we have any questions? Do we have any questions? A lot of people wanted to know about an update on Keith. How's Keith doing? Keith Robinson is doing fantastic, which I'm very excited to say. As you guys know, Keith has stroke, but he is doing great. He walking no cane I love that I'm literally

giving telling all you fucking everybody how Keith is doing and these fucking three douchebags are on their fucking you guys a fucking asshole I'm emailing him I literally hope you have a stroke in nothing great for my career it would be this is fucking be You know comic have somebody else read a sitcom for you because you can't type Yeah, so he's doing great which I'm happy for he's gonna start doing spots again I think it's yeah, I don't know when he's coming back here, but I think he's gonna do some spots over nearest house But I think I'm making a joke no, he's gonna do You just laugh.

You just laughed. I had a fucking stroke victim. Yeah, we're emailing Sam's yucking it up. Well, I, I, I, I message him immediately. And he, I knew it was all right. Because he wrote back. So you soon stupid. I wrote this heartfelt thing.

He hung up a media the day. Yeah. He fucking hung up on me. And like, too, I was like, uh, I forget I asked him some question, which was legitimate, because he had a stroke and goes, you mother fucker, just hung up on me. Yeah, a heart like I'm thinking of you, I hope, and he just wrote like you fucking idiot.

You typed, I'm thinking of you. I mean, right when someone has a show, no you do, you know what I'm saying, I'm thinking of you, you're right, I hope you're feeling okay. I'm thinking of you, I'm thinking of you. Why would you be- I think it's sensitive and heartfelt and connected. For you and ask, Kisser. Yeah. Ha ha ha.

Kill yourself. I like it. I like it, dude. All right, so yeah, what else you got? That's for now. What? Why'd you stammer on that? What happened?

There's nothing else. I have a couple more things, but I've just lost confidence. Do it. Don't lose confidence, dude. I'm going to tell you something right now. You're fucking great on the show. Oh, thank you. What happened? I have a couple more things, but I've just lost confidence. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.

Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.

Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do people. It's something. Yeah, don't listen to her.

Listen, I don't want you to get killed. Yeah, no, dude, you're fine. Nobody is. Nobody's gonna fucking kill you. Maybe you got a date line? I couldn't use the audience, so that's true. What's that? I could use the audience on my show, so.

Nobody's gonna hurt you. Fuck that guy. Fucking piece of shit. Yeah. Fucking bully. Should I block him? Should I give him a second chance? No, don't block.

I mean, don't block anybody unless you tell me from now on I told you that before All right, but two more camp. He's an asshole. All right. I got a couple more things people want to know what you think about Gary Shanling He's dead. Yeah, it's about it Well, they were looking for a little more inside Bobby than just Fucking what do you want? I don't know. What do they want? What do you want? You know, it's great to check out I've been we watched so weird I was watching Larry Sanders DVDs on the road last week Oh, so you killed him. That's weird. I don't think it's how it works, Annie, but We gave her the bomb hat to wear

All right, you know I you know I actually look good at it. You know one of the best one did you ever see the one where Hank gets divorced? It's such a fucking show such a great He was on comedies and cars getting coffee. That was Jerry. It was a good episode. Wait, I'm sorry. Can you say Jerry's full name? Jerry's iPhone. Thank you.

Talking about it, yeah. Yeah. He could have offered you. He could have offered you. He could have offered you. He could have offered you. He could have offered you. He could have offered you.

He could have offered you. He could have offered you. He could have offered you. He could have offered you. He could have offered you. He could have offered you. He could have offered you. He could have offered you. He could have offered you. He could have offered you. He could have offered you. He could have offered you. I literally was like

Some guy named pizza says deep who I'm gonna find you on the streets and kiss you on the lips See there you go All right, so listen to you to grease all your mind. Well, I'll take it. Davian. Yeah, so I didn't buy the car there. Did that didn't affect you? No, I wasn't making money on you anyway. Right. Because here's the thing that fucked me up too. They kept, oh, we can only do this. And then I called my lady, Michelle, right?

And all of a sudden, well, we can do that. And then she was, and then all of a sudden you went down in price, like three, four, five times. I'm going by what they say. I could have got that car for nothing. For nothing? Well, I could have got it for around $30 less in month, right? You know what, you probably could have got a

for me that was the sum. How much was it? How much was it a month? You know, I'm just saying that's you can feel like a dick playing. How much was it a month? How much was it a month? I don't know.

I don't know. Oh, then you can't, because then people are gonna next, but I know my boss was taking care of you and you know, because you're a comic and I told him, I said, listen, he's a kind of, he always doesn't know. I felt bad about it, but listen you know what I didn't leave my job Why do you have three cars? I got two cars. Oh, so this was and so this would be your second

I was turning it in my lease. Okay. I had a haunted. I wanted to get rid of it So no, he was he they were giving you a great deal and stuff like that But it was my commission would have been 15 bucks 20 bucks. Sorry The comedy story My commission would have been 15 bucks 20 bucks. Sorry Alright buddy, well thanks you coming on you come back on again and what's your what's your show again? It's called black teenocommidy jam black teenocommidy jam We're also gonna be producing it at a different nightclub stuff like that too. I mean comedy clubs out here and What fireman is a gram? I'm gonna do an all Puerto Rican show. You come back on for that?

Yeah. I was cool. You know what love of us? I know one more. Yeah, I can throw the minigame and fake it. Yeah. Huh? Are you Puerto Rican? No.

What I can pass. I'm fucking minigame. Yeah, you're a comic, you're a comic too, right? You guys are all comedians? But I'm also not yet. I'm sorry. All right, cool. This is sad thing is

that the audience here somebody they're gonna fucking be on the show that's the fucking sad thing yeah but you got it you will get funnier or get schoolboy Yankee tickets but we're crushing it are you really high no oh earlier when I said you had high eyes. I was then I was I was in But maybe don't smoke before so you're a little more alert. That's all Thank you I was to see the table so I'm gonna listen to you In Montreal when I was getting everything

The industry taught me that I look can't wait to you fail It happens all the time No, I'm not Dominican. I just I just like telling jokes. I mean, that's it. That's the long I mean what the fuck are you reading me your bio How long you been doing comedy? Oh, I want to know for about 10 years. Jesus Christ. 10 years. Yeah, for a while.

And uh, what kind of weed did you smoke? It's a called long winded. Yeah, something like that. You gotta learn, listen, she attacked you, you had, you gotta come back with something dude. You can't go, yeah, you gotta zing, don't see if you fucking slam turned. Yeah, she got, you got real mad. He can't get mad at me. happy face. I'm happy right now

What if he just hit any we all like what? Punch in the back of that. Yeah, just punches mother fuck out. I would get better What's that? No, dude, I'm of course I would just how'd you guys watch my show on me? Yeah? Show honey any non-lash It was called We Have Issues. It was really, I can't talk about it. Girl comic without issues. Is that girl just?

What was with Julian McCulloch? So it was two girls with issues. Oh snap. I liked it. I liked it. I really liked it. Hi. Well, what are we going to gigs coming up

that we can go to without getting killed? I'm going to. Friday and Monday we can go to without getting killed? Friday at Maddie Puffools, April Fool's show at LOL comedy club in Times Square. Oh, there you go. Yeah, I'm over there for April 1st. That's great, man. You'll come back on it. Definitely do it anytime, man. Now, let me ask you a question.

When I want to trade my Ford in next year, can I do it? Hopefully, as a comic, it's been more successful and I'm not freaking that in a moment. But let's just assume you are. It's been more successful and I'm not freaking that no more. I'm like, well, let's just assume you are. Okay. Can you keep that job for me? For just, I keep the hook up for you. That's not a problem.

The hook up always be there because they're the coolest boss. Well, they mad with that I left. Nah, they were mad. Sure. Yeah. My boy Freddie wanted to come to the podcast today. He wanted to come. Oh, he should've, he was funny.

That guy's fucking mean. Annie, what do you got? What's going on with you? I got, well, the rest of the week I have, I'm at the stand through Friday, stay in the hotel on Saturday. I like that place. They really love you.

It is a good club, I'm glad they fucking, they got there, they literally learn from all the other clubs, put this fucking thing together, and that thing is still around with you. It's a really good club, they treat, I think they, you know, the foods go at everything they're nice. They fucking cultivate new comedians, which I love. You know what I mean?

Like the seller is backed up with, you know, and they will like, fuck it. We'll take everybody who can't get over there that should be there. We'll put them up. So that's great. You there all week? Yeah, I'm here. No, it's just on the shows. And then I'm doing, oh, what do you mean in the future?

Yeah. I don't have a spot. I don't have a weekend coming up I'm doing what are you fucking doing what's wrong with you I'm at my next gig is I'm at Moon Tower festival at the end of the day too yeah that's gonna be there I know I'm opening for them and some of the shows isn't that fun? That is fun. Jim? Yeah. Jim Florenty? Yeah, it's fun, Jim. That's a great festival. A lot of fun last year.

I thought it was great. I'm going to Austin in a couple. I think I'm going to be there the week after or something. Your plug's a little later? Yep. We're doing our job. Go ahead. What else?

Is that it? I mean, that's it for now. Do you have another show coming on TV? What's happening with you? No, I got some MTV thing coming out this summer. That's not anyone that listens to this for watch so. That's a good position to be in comedy. Do you have any TV? No just one. Yeah but I really don't want your 100,000 fans to even now we're good. No I'm not allowed to, I just can't talk about it yet. Okay. All right what do you get? Sounds sexy Joey? What do you get? Hey everybody? It's me Joe list

If I survive I'll be at the Providence Comedy Collection April 29th and 30th and if you come to that one I got one of those bonus infrastructures and I could really if I sell 10 tickets I get 15 bucks so Come to the Providence Comedy Collection April 29th and 30th I'll be at Moon Tower Festival me and and Jim will be there and Pete is also there and then Oh god, I'm crazy Comedy on state. I'll be there in May 15 1617 and then Tuesday's with stories is every Tuesday and Atchilless comedy on Instagram. I'm ripping it on Instagram. I think it's there's a great Oh, I remembered one. Does it what's that? I'll be on admin night on the 13th. Oh great And follow the Instagram the That is great cigar bar in that town on comedy on state. Oh nice unbelievable cigar

And there's also the stake of the cancer. Yeah, great. This is actually cigar helps cancer They just come out of the new study that the leaf from a tobacco the cigars cures throat cancer. Are you trying to kill Joe Liss? Yes. I have a theory that cigars are good for you. Look think about who's the quintessential cigar smoker? The name of a couple. Winston Churchill. George Burns, Liberty, the 100. Me? Mark Twain, lived in the 80s something. Yeah, but they were they were. They weren't. Marks 90. Yeah, but they weren't fucking sucking on diacokes and splendor and all the shit that we eat. I like I say splendor I do that. It's good. I like it. I was being I was an earnest moment. I was really to some company at Tinder I want to I want to call this everybody hates Annie

You naming my life story What else you naming my life story? What else you got? What are you doing? That's a couple of good gigs. I'm not saying that it's bad. I'm saying if you have an... I'm firing the agent. Grand Rapids as well. I'll take them. Why are you firing your agent? How well he's doing. How many plugs he has?

I got a full cow. Are you really firing your agent? No, you're not. I'm... No. I need a... Don't make it. You need an agent? I need an agent, a manager. It's a past. That sounds like a career. No, you're not I'm no Nage it. I need an agent a manager. Yeah, that sounds like a career

And work the main street get on Montreal and just fucking tell people what's what? We had that you were given Montreal Joe man look out young Sano San Ohio. I'm coming this Friday and Saturday Yes, I'm in Mojo's I love that barbecue restaurant. Yeah, it's delicious and come for the food stay for the last and then next week Oh, I mean if you thought youngstown was good move to Des Moines, Iowa because I'll be at the funny bone There and then tonight at 3 a.m. Eastern. I'll be on Fox News Red. I tell you what I think about stuff And then tonight at 3 a.m. Eastern I'll be on Fox News red. I tell you what I think about stuff Joe, I want to have you back on and just you okay. That sounds fine. Just me and you that good. I know listeners, right? Huh, cuz I look like a woman You really look like Ted Cruz like I can't stop

You need to like do with presentations or open up for him Well, let him steal some of your material. Yeah, do it First of all, you can have a look at LL comedy club this Friday I can't cuz I'm in I'm gonna sound a high old and come on out I was a joke fucking asshole He really stuck on that one job What do you what do you guys at it? A beat time. What do you got brother? I'm in McGuire's this weekend. Should be fun. I'm headlining Gotham April 22nd, 23rd,

my first weekend in the city. So, that's cool. Yeah, and what else? I like, that's the only club I headline in the city. And it's a, I like that club because it's, you go in, you fucking do your hour and get the fuck out. Yeah, I'm the make it. They control the crowd. It's never a fucking they mean business

Fuck fast in there and only shit drug and if someone is they get them the fuck out Someone showed me their boobs last night on stage. I got them really well come out to God That's a big one else. Well nice. They're great really what size were they see? I think they were fake, but they were nice. Oh fake. Did he why do they show you to this? Could you ask she no she was cross it she was I was with AC. No, I think they were fake, but they were nice big kids. Oh, fake kids, yeah. Why do they show you a tins? Could you ask? No, she was, cross it. She was going to the bathroom, which was wearing like a really shiny shirt.

And I said, I have too much ADD for you to wearing that shirt. So she took the shirt off, and she had another black shirt underneath, and I said, well, actually, now that you're at it, I have too much ADD for that black shirt, too. Like, as a joke. And then, like, she went to the bathroom, and then she just charged the mound. I was like, what is this? And then she just secretly showed me her boobs. That's so weird.

I know it's coming to my weekend now. Maybe they'll do it. Yeah, maybe she'll come. Got them in April 26th, 23rd. Also, I'm at the comedy attic this summer. DC Drafthouse, a lot of fun days. The new DC Drafthouse. Yeah, I'm going to be fun. It's another great club. I love these other clubs. I need to come up that I just fucking those guys give a shit about comedy

Too, okay. Yeah, also my album class act on iTunes get that it's a good one All right, I think I'll go there. Yeah All right, what else do we got is that it guys? Thank you for you guys are all comedians So you're coming the fuck here someday that's what we should do is you just have these guys on the show. And one by one, we fire them. And the one that's us in the back. Yeah. You guys all sit back there and then at the end, we give you guys tasks and we, and topics

and we see what you do with them. How's that sound? Would you do that? Yeah. Yeah. Are you a comic, too? No, sir. Oh, all right. Are you in the military?

What what what a branch army fucking good cool What the It was a big giant hall it was a big giant hole, but it was no wings and no nothing I thought really that come off. But, uh, what the, that's the line of the left lane or missile. It was a big giant hole. It was a big giant hole, but it was no wings and no nothing around it. It was the end of the fight. I just can't be fucking,

I'm not getting into 9-11 to the spirits and shit. I'm fucking two hours in. I got a drop up. How much are you after? We're gonna go to the shit. Fucking FX up front. So I gotta do. What's up, Hollywood?

Ah, ah, ah, ah. Um, but do yeah, I'd love to talk about that, but not now. Absolutely fine. Thank you for your time. Especially when that's an old world, we forgot. I'm kidding. I just got noticed that I got 50 followers because I started my Twitter like not too long. I was really proud of that.

You have more followers than Davey. How many followers do you have? I got Instagram followers. Now how many followers on Twitter? I don't really see you. You know what you're last. What was it? What was this one of his tweets? Why are you gonna throw me into the box? Because you fucking brought it up. I didn't bring it up. How many? What was the tweet that you told me? It's said about a one-the-election. Oh, yeah Eight years ago I got a Facebook Instagram. I got Instagram. 8 years ago

Lluice he came is not on Twitter. Yeah, well he's a five multi-millionaire. I meant to say I meant to say Lewis Anyways, name, right well, dude. Thanks. She's coming in man. Thank you for having me. It's been Yeah, what the fuck? Joe. Oh, uh, I see my Twitter handle. Absolutely. Yeah. The number nine. That's it. I I'm super fan. Yeah. I've been on like five little, a tiny little segment on the show and it just me and my girl get around the radio and turn off the TV. It's like, it's like listen to old Brooklyn Dodgers game back in the day or something. Thanks for coming on. I'm really the number one fan of that other podcast. Misery loves company. Number one. I'd love to have her. I'm not

I'm not the only one having Brennan. Oh my god. I would love to see you on his show That would just be the fucking greatest thing ever. You just screaming at each other Well, yeah, well, oh my god that doctor's number cuz the I got it median Davian what do you got? I got it. What do you got? What do you got? Oh, yeah, I thought it was a good money. Well, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat is a little bit early.

L-E-A-B-I-E-L-E-E. Buddy, thanks for coming in, man. No problem. Thank you for having me. You got it, man. What do you guys got over there? All right. EJ Edmunds, you could find me on Mr. EJ Edmunds on Twitter and Instagram.

I don't fucking use them that much. And also have my own podcast that I was probably going to get shot on, but it's good. All right, it's funny people. It's the weekly fix with the joke junkies. So make sure you look that up. Did you just call us people? Huh? Did you say all right people?

Like, we're fucking a crowd. Well, yeah, you got to say, player. You got to give me a minute before I could be an asshole but I'd be talking to the crowd buddy, you're relaxing, you're just we're not giving you five minutes just plug your fucking Twitter alright people, you got to be shit at me

women be shopping, shut the fuck up got it, what are you doing? now, give him some mic my Twitter handle is the mix 0 9 and I'm on Instagram the same thing the mix 0 9. Are you Spanish? What are we gonna make Mexican? Yeah, yeah, yeah, actually came from Mexico some Came from Mexico to Whitman and I actually didn't even speak any English. Oh, well, that's not that. Well, my parents are just about you.

Yeah, all of a sudden they were. So yeah, that's it. You probably heard about the chocolate chip cookie. All right, man, what do I got? Scopo. You just got one show, April 23rd. Ah! You stick.

I'm filming a television show. What? True. Peace line of fucking roll, right? Sex drugs and rock roll. Oh, on true TV No, an affect you fucking twats. You guys are animals You just pass hold it's like a clerk. No, it's Dennis Leary. I knew it was some Boston guy

What else what do I get that? April 23rd at the Renaissance theater in Kingsport, Tennessee King's for a Tennessee. It's almost sold out So if you what say what kind of cigars you want because a fan hit me up and didn't know what kind of cigars at the Renaissance Theatre in Kingsport, Tennessee. King's Fort Tennessee, it's almost sold out. So if you want, say what kind of cigars you want because a fan hit me up and didn't know what kind of cigars you wanted. So say it on the air so he knows to get you and bring you something.

You can have all mine. Phillies, he likes Phillies and much faster. I don't like fuck data, I don't like masters. I really like the, anything my father is nice with me right now. And you know, nice. That's a really sad name for this, my father. That's for you. Something like that.

Any of the high insugars. If it's under ten bucks, keep it. No, I'm kidding. I'm not kidding. My father, that's great. I love those. Okay. Davido That's great. I love those. Okay. Dovodoff is great. Christo, something crispy though. None of that. My asses.

No, I ain't. Is that? I'm not. Cooheba, man, I'm good with that too. That's fucking garbage. Unless it's Cuba, I'll take some Cubans. You got fucking Cubans. But I appreciate that. And we have a donation button, which I haven't plugged in a year, it's on riotcast.com. Please go to the donation button and donate.

The money goes to these fucking guys and back into the show. Well, I split it up. When we get enough money in there, I give it to these guys. Oh, those guys. And I owe you two checks, too, right? I think so. You too. I gave you, right to right I think so you to you sure you sure money anyways oh T. I got to pay you a fucking shirt money I'm just just give it to you um was it 280 27 what can I have you have 70 oh no you can they're Iglosses they're fucking really these are

the fucking coolest things ever uh braggie.com they're fucking you get me a free pair no I can't they don't i tried myself and they don't you think you might you might get a lot of you just really like them uh... i just love them really i think i think i think they're fucking the braggie the the newest headphones out how much they go for to get a little braggie sometimes to have their three hundred bucks

what else am i gonna talk about i'm there's so much success in my life it's true it's getting everything's terrible. So there you go. Make sure you go to the donate button. And the ones who do donate, you guys are the fucking best. What else do we get? What else?

I mentioned podcasts. Go ahead, do it. May 22nd. We'll be there. Bobby, Joe, Dan Soder, and Lewis. That's fun. That's going to be a fucking podcast. The Sunday at 930.

Sunday at 930, let's sell that fucking. You can get all the tickets on our Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, all the links are there. Yeah, that's gonna sell out too. So if you're gonna go, that's a live show. I'm gonna try to book a special guest for that too. We'll see what happens. Get Jim.

Who? Jim. Oh, he's good. Jim. Oh, Jim. Yeah, yeah, I remember Jim. Oh, yeah, how do we miss Gaffigan? What else do we got? He's the best of the gym. Well, he would never have had me open for him. No. If you want to come and watch the show, like these guys did, email ykwdproducer at ryecaz.com. And if you want to come check out the show, let me send something for the show. It's 117 McDougal Street, care of Robert Kelly,

1-0-0-1-2. I want to thank Matthew Doe, Magnus, of course, you're the best Ian Rice, Heather Graves, those are the people that donate to the show consistently. So thank you for that. If you guys want to donate,

what a five bucks, a million dollars, whatever you got, go to riotcast.com, hit the donate button, which is up there. Make sure you listen to all the other shows on riotcast. We have around 17, I think it's 18 now, the most fucking amazing shows. And the newest one being misery loves company with Kevin Brennan and Lenny Marcus and make sure you follow all these guys. Everybody on the show, we do this for nothing but we want you to go if you see anybody that's been on the show live in your town, go support them, let them know that you heard of them or you heard about the show from the YKWD because that's

what we do. We do stand up comedy, we do this for you guys. So that's about it. Anything else? I was sent us dick pics But well, I would I would like I would love some other boob pics city pics More titty pics, but we got no pit We got one half a titty pic and the girl who sent the titty pic very tasteful. Yes, you wet your shirt We in row white. That was very tasteful because I can show my wife that let's get wrong to people now let's not get one of them I want to run you want to you want to tip wet but not with water right I just dripping off like your boyfriend's

chest I yeah I love you guys see you later take it all right here we go hey April stress awareness month. Oh, I have no stress. Stress. Just messed up stress. That aggravates me. I don't really need to be reminded how much pressure and stress I'm under every single day.

You don't either, do you? Well, scopus dad just texted him during the read and it came down on the top line. So now I can't read the actual friggin' read. And then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and time. We'll check this out. Here's a tip from our friends at Casper mattress. A great night's sleep helps everyone deal with stress. Okay? And it's true. Sleeping on a Casper mattress, it helped me out. I'm not as stressed out getting a nice night's sleep. Not to mention, they've taken all this hassle out of mattress shopping. It's not like a used car dealership anymore. The mattress, it's engineered with two high foams for supportive comfort that guarantees a great night's sleep. Time magazine just named it one of the best inventions of 2015. In fact, Casper is now the most awarded mattress of the century. And the new

Sheets and Pillow are just as comfortable. Together they create an environment designed to keep you cool, balanced all night long. The mattress, guess what, chips for free, and a surprisingly small box. So it's incredible easy to get in your bedroom. And you can try it in your home for a hundred nights. Risk free. That's a hundred nights in your house risk free.

If you don't love it, they'll pick it up and refund you everything. Look reduce your stress with a great night's sleep. I love my Casper. Try yours for a hundred nights in your home with free shipping and return. Go to Casper.com and use code, dude, dy, de, dude for 50 bucks off your purchase of a mattress. That's amazing, that's 50 bucks off. And these mattresses, they're inexpensive, okay? That's Casper.com, code word dude, 50 bucks towards the purchase of your mattress.

Casper.com terms and conditions may apply. Hey, quick correction on that, the code word is dude, du, de, because I'm a dud and I messed up and then the dumbest guy in the room corrected me, which makes me dumber than him. Now he, scopo is smarter than me and now I have stress, but thank God I have a Casper mattress. Oh God, thank God.

D-U-D-E. Code word, dude. Dude, for $50 off the purchase of your mattress. Casper.com. You've been listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all the best podcasts on the internet.

And they're all free. SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

SHUT UP!