Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Chucky Hands

Episode Date: January 4, 2016

This week on YKWD: We have Rich Vos, Chris Cotton, Yannis Pappas, Monroe Martin III, and Reggie Conquest! What would you do with thirty million dollars? We ask our guests, talk about the recent box office hits, and open up the skype/phone lines! Watch/Listen and enjoy!   RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 grados. ¿Estás listo a Robert Kelly? ¿Qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. This is gonna be a claustrophile. This podcast has no rules. Talking to the mic asshole, I'm sure I've already said should I regret it? Can I get a microphone?

Oh, what the fuck? That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down, and sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's... 10 no topics, no directions. I love doing it. Way both sides of the coin. That love doing it Side to the coin

My podcast is popular I might affect somebody's life. You never know I'm in a human door You keep fans Put him in a human door. You keep sending fans in. Put him in a human door. Those look good in a human door. What's up? We're fucking back. Happy New Year everybody.

New Year's is over. Hopefully everybody on this podcast survived. Yeah, that They survived you. We have a big show. I'm just gonna get right into it Let's go through scope. Oh, and now it's everybody from your left all the way around my left We have Monero Martin. Yeah, what's up? What's up? Marrow how you doing man? Well, man, I can't call the monorow. I did monorow I said Popus I don't second base

Yannis motherfucking flood for his health. That's right son. I've been shot motherfucka Right, right? Did you know that? Huh? He was shot. We should How he shot I was out of it. I was shot in the middle of the leg. You were a star. You were a star. What did you do? What did you do? It was canned, 2015. So I drove by it. It was my mother's boyfriend.

The Christmas name was Darryl. He's not getting drunk as Santa Claus. All right. His love, we got Chris Cotton. Hey, what's up? That's much fanfare. That's much fanfare when I see what it's going to be. You, see what it's left we got Chris cotton. Hey, what's up? That's much fan fear not much fan fear when I okay, I see what it's you big You see what you're fucking little you sleep your coffee sleeve match with your sweater

This fucking black eyes match their You're killing the Colesy I don't like what's going on here. I like it. What the fuck is that? What's going on here? Oh, you guys all the way here. Somebody's Skyping, that's the Skype.

Well, we're not Skyping yet, so. Wow, somebody's all the Skype people. You know, we're not Skyping yet, so announce that. Here's my phone. Put that out there. Jesus Christ. What is this? Oh, it's the fucking Skype thing on the bottom one second guys

All right, there we go bang. It's done. That's it. His laugh. We have rich boss. So legend The legend is right I just got a text you got a test. No, what's a test a tax? I said a tax tax. That's not right either I said a text text that's not right either It's not text I know problem walking upstairs Rich voices points of you do not represent the YKWD I'm sorry. We have another Philly comment wants to come up and sit down. Oh Philly cut Reggie. Yeah, is he a Philly comic? Yeah, is he black? Yeah, yes

Philly comics are funny man These are shit people are funny man. Yeah, he's a shit deep. We're gonna shut this Skype off. I'm muted but who's going through, isn't it? Bobby who's just skirt still going through? I want you to go up there and go up here and shut it off. If you guys are listening we're gonna Skype to Skype an hour in. Can we tweet that out on my phone? We're going to be Skyping in around 45 minutes. Video, blah, blah, blah, or you can call in these fucking guys.

Anyways. What the fuck, what the lady again? What the fuck, why is my audio not being recorded? Oh boy. Can we talk about that you had nothing You say it's the gods You got my audio right yeah, we're going so all right hang on what's that give me one pause one sack mother fucker and We're back all right there. We go all Alright, so we got Rich Voss, Chris Cotton Monroe, Janice Papis. We got Deepu, Chris Gopo, and the beautiful Kelly, sexy Kelly.

Who is your broad? I never seen Kelly. No, listen man. Before he has who's the skirt. No, it's the broad. Who is this damn overhands? She's an advocate. I mean, I'm leaving the corner. She's not even on radio. She has gum in her mouth.

She's been in my mouth, so he can... Did you let her tear your mouth? She's not... Oh, we'll let her spit it in my mouth. Why is she on the camera? She's not chewing a meatloaf. I hope you're better. We'll let a baby bird that to me.

Who is she? Who is she? Who is she? She's one of the producers on the show. She's here now. Oh really? An intern or your a painter? No intern. No intern.

No interns anymore. What the fuck? You'd sit over here and I mean I'm in a relationship. Where are you having him? I sit in Lawrence's seat. What's going on? I'll just turn the mic on. Can we turn that mic on?

He's removing Lord for his fetish And a lot you know what sit back down Sit on red We can teamwork let me get a haircut move all her one my career might see From hot Hawaii 50 Christian Slater not the new life Do you understand he did a fucking Hawaii 50 reference from the old one. Yes, he's in his 50s What am I gonna? Yeah, what do you want me to do like my own?

Bitch here and you know what I'll pull seas. Hey pushy Hey, just talk my talk my friend serious come back Oh, pussy's. Hey, pussy's. Hey, this time my job, my friend. This guy's got serious comebacks. Oh, God. Who paid you to wear that? Oh, it was an ugly Christmas sweater party in our ward. Yeah, where'd you get this ugly face? Whoa! I'm over here. Glue come back. You know, I take that back about fully comics. I like that's a nice sweater. I'm, I'm getting a little it's a little ridiculous that you're wearing that because you're trying to be you're trying to get some fucking

Comedy Central I'm a black guy, but I wear cookie fun stuff. I got a Reggie doesn't have clothes This is Reggie I want to say something. I actually take it back It's better. We're just a sweater. Whoa, whoa, we don't need to point We're talking for you I should have done it. I forgot to give the three black guy rule guys don't talk over each other But to me then turn off the TV screen That was good Then turn off the TV screen

I he you did actually at star wars you picked up about as we were leaving He snatched Keith Robinson's popcorn off the floor. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, outside He ate key and it made me feel sad, but it really made me feel worse is when Keith walked over and slapped it out of his anger. But you missed the next day though. And then they started throwing money at him. I know, it was fun. They started picking it up. They missed the next day though. What was the next day?

I took all Keith's out toys. Out toys. And I stuffed them all in. He had a brand new box. Stuffed them all in my mouth and spit them back in the can. I've been drinking water. I took a chalk from downstairs at the table and I cut it up into little out-toid slices and I put three of them in his out-toids and just never told

he probably tasted it. Nice fall call for the one you motherfucker. Tell me trying to spice up his breath at some 30 uptown pussy. So we're here it's after we're're after actually new years. You guys all have gigs new is a big thing for comics We all know it's the worst well usually get a big pain game Well, but let me tell you why it's because people come out and they expect more than they think it's gonna be some big extra Vaganza they want more than you can give us a comic, you know All you're gonna do you're not gonna do backflow. You're not you're not gonna do backflow You know I mean

Steps for the so they expect you know some great show and good good alcohol they're getting you know two dollar Isn't that every comedy club? Yeah, they described what air people expect every show they go to no So booze and a great comedy show No, no, but New Year's Eve day. Don't ever fucking say no, no and point glasses at me Let me tell you something I do my new year's soda shows they're pretty good But at the lantern it's gonna be popping. Right so far, we got it. Where you got that? The lantern.

Oh, another half. How many club? Yeah, lantern. He went from holding one to working at one. It's a comedy club now. I don't know when the last time you've been there. Never. Thank God.

OK, I'm rich for us, bitch. He said that. He said that, which often do you have He said that what you just call him a long I know is a great line My hair bagging I Have baggain I know you jealous. I am very jealous Yeah, you keep coming here because you want a blowjob. I do what you do Just for me You look queen

You don't gotta give me a blow job. I just like my nipple suck What'd you say if you let a girl like suck with your nipple and jerk you off? That is a fucking black thing. No, no nothing for me That's it., nothing for me. That's it. Nipple suck. What? Nothing for me. It's your nipple suck. Nothing for me. I like it by ball sucks and my dick sucks. I'm also have no feeling. I've had my nicksuck plenty of times, but nipple suck.

That's best. No, it's like playing a bass. Yeah. That's what it is. Nipple suck. Nipple sucking is to me is I don't know what if a girl puts her mouth near my fucking nipples I'm gonna punch her and start it. Oh fuck it. Go bang a chick. It goes suck my dick. I'm telling you it's good Stop you'd rather get shut it out. You'd rather get your dick sucked No, your nipple sucked then you dick. I'm not saying I would rather do that, but I'm saying

But I'm okay, and she was like a nipple You ain't fucking with me She was like I won't suck you dick. I suck you nip, but I'd be like all right I only make sure to go suck in your nipples for milk One for five He's throwing a lot at there. All right, listen I was saying I want to ask a question. Let me let me fucking control this fucking mess. Yes, sir You like your nipples up. Yes, yes, you like your nipple suck. Yes. You like your nipple suck, the honest.

And not on its own, but coupled with... When you dress like Mauricia. Yes. Okay. She likes it very much. That's what she's like. Absolutely. That's sad.

That voice is a dick. I want to hear more. Every time I hear it. No, do you, as you honest poppins. No, if something's happened to my dick while I do it, yeah, I'll take a nipple. Let me say a circle. Chris, he's joking.

Yeah, I'm a little bit. A nipple picture. Like I've had my nipples pinched and sucked. By the little bit. But why other shit's going on? Like I like a fucking grab of a nipple, connect these slow things down. Right.

Chris, scope up. No, not at all. Deep. Oh absolutely not What? They're like walnuts like I want to in my ice cream or muffin not on its own Yeah, but do it while you're doing it just feels good like a door and sex hang on you fucks already We get it you like your nipples. I'm going through the rest of the guys You guys are selling the nipple thing I want to hear the other guys like it do you like it?

If a girl wants to suck if a girl's want me and wants to suck my nipple I tell her it's in my ass to put two fingers in it and get it out of my ass I see what I Deep you know loves his nipples up through which is weird Patrice Patrice what he would fucking love. All the great slums. He never fucking loves you. I mean, is it?

I might be, I don't know, I don't like it at all. I've had my nipples up, it does enough. And it actually bugs me. I get, like, enough, enough. That's because you're not comfortable with your body. Buddy, I've been comfortable with my body a bunch of times I'm not now So sexy body got his nibbles on the in like buddy when I used to get my nipple sucked when it was a pack

It was actually a pack now. It's actually a teeth now. It's actually a woman's Teenage Now now babies grab it that teaks the end of it. Now, now baby's grab it just because they mistake it. You know I swear to God, my kid when he was, my kid was, all right, relax, whatcha, I'm sorry. Hi, he's been a hard fellow, yeah. My kid when he was, when he was,

when the baby's, they don't know. He did grab my fucking chair. It's like, right. I can't, yeah. Wait a second, do you, like when you have sex for your, because how long you married? Can you say your penis? Did you say, when I have sex for your right cuz you how long you married? Can you say your penis did you say when I have sex with my wife? Yeah, well hold on let me fit it. How long you married? I've been married for nine years. I'm out of ten

Okay, you still kiss when you have a sex. Yes, really? In the four-year-old man guy that statement scared to shit out of me. We are Kissed yes, I know we kiss first That statement scared the shit out of me. The you- Really? Oh, kiss me. No, he kissed. No, he kissed first. That's how we get a girl in a bed with the fuck coming out. Well, his wife is reading a book. You fuck like signing to a star. You have to be the band-aid.

I'm a fucking signing. I'm with you. I mean. I- I just- I don't know, I'm just not Roman. Talking to the microphone, you're fucking ass. I'm serious.

Because you don't have headphones on. You never wear fucking headphones for some reason. Yeah. Because you now you're into hats. What's up with the hat? I like my you got a hat. Yeah, but I'm a hat guy He's starting to bluegrass band I just I just I don't thank you for the Thank you boss you wait I know you're a laughter Okay, more on Thank me today

He is right You know what's right. He's trying to cut up the fake he's having terrible sex and everybody Hang on you became the shitty audience member that was yeah, that was a good deal With comics I'm glad I came here for New Year's Eve. That's fucking move We do you have an act out Throw a quilt You look cute when you try. I just don't think realistically. I don't think you dick getting sucked.

I don't know how that ever gets old. It never, you balls can play with it. It's good for those fucking fours. If they suck, I rather you just look at them, but you can't fuck up with nipple suck You can fucking scratch me with your teeth your hands be too rough when you're jerking it off Yeah, fuck I don't know who's your name. I don't care if I go hit my dick with a bad man Come

I care I Don't know who's blowing Who suck we get you dick suck in an alley Oh, don't knock the alley dick Great alley I've had a lot of one-night's and a lot of girls have rough ass hands When you get your dick suck I've had a lot of one-night's dance and a lot of girls have rough ass hands You have rough hands with like When you're getting your dick suck

For the first time for a girl you're getting the dick sucking of the last guy. Yeah style that the last guy liked Yeah Shell style Salt pants a lot of sweat the bestixuck and I was they know the best Dixuck is the one that you have had No, the best Dixuck is when you're on the bed and you get up and you pull his butt is when you chin He promises you a fucking If the bed ain't wet ain't wet when you get up from a dick suck

It's nothing that's the best so you suck the dick you want to make that I need to see a bit a bit of butt up On the bed let me tell you this bit. That's S-Wat One moan on my dick. Hang on. What is it? All I need is one moan and I'm what's a moan? If she moan like say she gives me any One moan and um what's a moan? If she moan like say she gives me any I just I think it's to really have this fucking conversation I All right, I just I think it's to really have this fucking conversation. I think it's ridiculous to put nipples above dick Yeah, but he wanted a nipple and a handjob the same What the fuck is a hand job? I mean just get your dick stuff

I'm on my hand job every one more Guys you fucking you gotta stop talking over each other. We can hear each other here, but the people listening to me, I'm going to get shit for a month. What were you saying? I like a good hand job every now and then throw me off. I'd rather be a nice hand job every now and then. It's just a hand job?

Yeah, like take it old school a little bit. You don't see it coming. You like a hand job? Love a hand. Yeah. But a hand job with a bull job at the end? No, it it coming like a hand job love a hand yeah like but a hand job with a blowjob at the end no it can just be straight hand job just to get jerked off I don't like her down I like like her whole body with me where I could play with Teddy's kisser while yeah that's good man yeah like she's up here and you're like yeah what like she's laying down and she's jerking you off

but her ass is like in your face Yeah, pussy I rather jerk off on it. What is too? What I rather jerk off myself. You're showing this thing big I've done that I've done that before that's pretty cool. Oh you get a star Fuck up. I'm telling you But he's done that because it's dick stuff working I'm telling you, it wasn't knowing what this is Let me tell you something I'm here The legend, sometimes I come and I'm only semi-hard

Because you know what the fuck I don't got time to get hard on my own I'm not trying to get hard I got that kind of time He's dick's a grizzled warfag I've actually come I came I'm not gonna worry about little kids you come see I've

I've ejaculated with a half-hard dick I'll tell you this I don't like it. I've never ever liked it. I've never been like, oh, I've always felt inadequate. Like, something happened mentally. I shouldn't have did it. What the fuck? And a lot of the times lately, I've been in the shower ready to go.

And then I went, you know what? I don't get time for this. I'm not jerking off. Fuck jerking off. Jerking off has owned me my whole fucking life. It's fucking dictated so much shit. And I'm done, I got shit to do. I'm gonna go fucking promote a show

or come up with an idea. I'm gonna go do something productive. You take a stand, Bobby. You take a stand, Bobby. You take a stand, you're a hard one. But then, then you go. Then you go, no, then later at night, I'll be like, oh, fuck, I should have cranked up now. I'm alone on the couch. She's in bed the kids in bed and then some weird shit comes on

I'll see something on Twitter. I'm like I'm gonna fucking but I can't jerk off on the couch cuz go out for a bit I'm in the middle of crank going out and I hit I got a run to his room and this fucking gizmo my knuckles The worst is when you're in a hotel and you're jerking off right and then you fall asleep and you look at your phone and you're still on grinder. I won't jerk off like if I'm in home alone with my daughter and my like stop. If she's downstairs like playing on a computer. I don't do it. I don't Skype. Because the thing is if you're in the shower and she breaks her arm or something,

how? What were you doing? You know, I can only do it on the road in hotels. I can't even do it at home. It's like a fair. So I understand that. You guys don't know you're because you're still fucking. You're fucking.

You guys are fucking. We used to, let me tell you something something I remember him and Keith used to fuck They used to come I mean weird I remember they came back they they went up to St. up New York, fucking like 40 minutes. They came back, they just fucked chicks in a car in front of St. up New York,

and they were just fucking them in the command. Remember that? Remember you fucked the chick in Central Park with Norton? Oh yeah, no, no. And then Norton was mad. No, I didn't fucking see Blooming in Central Park. And Norton was fucking it. And that's all the story about giving the end of it.

This girl was hot. Yeah. Smoking end of it. Yeah, I this girl was hot Yeah smoking blank your cut pick up Whatever she didn't want anything to do with him nor yeah, of course Where this is true? I'll give me the end of story. I told the story a million times on real radio He was fucking, he was fucking, he was blowing me in Central Park. I already made her come on board. Right, we get it, you're a stallion. We brought it. I think you're a run broad play.

I think you're a run broad play. I think you're a run broad play. From the Letterman studio. So now we're in Central Park and she's blowing me. I look down and Norton's eating out her ass. It's like, you know, like a little kid eating a fucking a bag of candy to me. Right, so now we get in the car and we're driving home.

I go, do you have fun? He goes, yeah, but he goes, there's a little fucking piss because I got grass stains on my pants. I go, you'll put your tongue in a strange girl's ass, but you're worried about grass stains. Well, I said to him, when you get home, your mom's gonna see the grass stains. Go, were you eating grass again?

Yeah. Fuck you. Fuck you. When you get home your mom's gonna see the grass stains go were you eating ass again? Yeah, I used to date just hot girl put it hot fucking and we're in the car. In order to watch the party. Bonnie loves you saying that. That was the emotion of a married man. Like the first hot one's been then they remember he hit him and was like fucking I'm smoking. Yeah, and he's in the car wearing the car and around the corner right around the corner in the north walks by I go you want to watch her blow me and

It's a guy He's up to real quick, but it's really nice. Well, we we Will we creepier than these motherfuckers? Yeah, cuz I don't hear any story I don't know No, no I don't know me when you know I want to hear some of these when me and ornith Lauren teen like came from Jersey to New York They like because we were the biggest pigs we were now we were just I mean we're fuck wait, you know Dude I used to get ahead. I remember got was getting a second mic, she's sucking my dick as they call in my name to go on stage at the cellar and I literally went on stage with like just gizz coming out of my dick

I was just like I did 10 minutes, killed, went back out and fucking got my dick sucked again. That's great. I pick up the scroll that I was suffering. We're so excited. One time out the scroll, Glory Day. He all came outside the cellar. I must have went on, he was hot. Why are we stuttering? We're so excited. What time out this call? Glory day. He came outside the cellar.

I must have went on. He was hot. Yeah. I mean, so we're in the car, right? And we're driving to Norton's in a back seat. I was thinking, so we go back to Norton's house, right? Norton's apartment.

And she's blowing me. And next thing you know, I see a fucking Norton a load Land on Norton's face because he was jerking off He was jerking off He hit himself in the face with a load right so then when the girl was done right we I remember having a tough crowd Like Natkin or coaster. I had her right on it. I had a good time like like that was our alibi fucking note. I had a good time like we didn't hold a gun to her head you know what I mean? Yeah. But fucking no Instagram back there we can just get a smile and head at times.

It load on Nordenspace. I told I you know I even told Patrice's, I don't know whatever, but when I used to pick up a girl's single, as you know, on the road after Tyson, guaranteed I would walk him downstairs, stop it to front desk, and I go to the guy, what time do you got just to make sure? So now I have the time. Why did he say that? I told him, I listen. And then I'd make him all laugh we'd have a good time So he knew at 210 he was laughing You can do that or you just bury the body oh Sorry I guess we were bigger

I think we were bigger pigs than you guys I think our our generation, they were, yeah. We were bigger, dude. I used to get head at the Boston Comedy Club and those stairwells. I had two white chicks with dreadlocks and one night suck my dick downstairs. Oh, you dick's not weird. Really hot. He's more like him. He's like fucking porky.

He's like backwards. He's like, yeah, don't comics now. Yeah, you guys don't fucking do any of that shit. What was it like? Take me a story. Give me a story You guys do you guys have a team of girls? We have a team of girl, but we went to I would love to be more with them But they don't want to do it. I tried I've actively Is anyone taking pants off now because you're rummaging their wallet? You sweat a money. I can say I tried. You there.

I talked to a girl. She's like me and I go, my boy wanted to come with us. Right? And she was like, no. And then come home and fuck me. But it was me and him. We were hanging at a bar. I picked out her roommate.

He got her friend. We both went back. He fuck her there and walked her. And one fuck her there. Other room. We hopped on the way. Right way right really yeah, but that's I was there with him That's a little bit of a joke. I remember I had my I was fucking watching Norton on the computer

Well, I had my some girl eating my asshole while I was standing Yeah, I don't know that's all that's all that's all you asshole. Yeah, I know right with nor I know it's all Norton went like this he goes all the her was And look that story was better you can You can't Hair back The tongue in your ass is probably the best feeling I'm willing to be responsible. Having a tongue in your ass is probably the best feeling.

You're right. Hi. Do you ever eat a guy's ass? No, I haven't. Would you eat a guy's ass? Um, in the shower, we would have to definitely be showers. Does that one work in the bathroom? Let me ask you a question.

Do you have your butt licked? Yes. You have. How good is it for you? It's amazing. It's like a whole other fucking world. Because you know why? Wait, more questions to her. It's okay. Sorry, you a whole nother fucking world because you know why More questions to her

We're just moving on Your your asshole has a wait so you you spread your asshole and a girl eats it out Wow Wait, so you you spread your asshole and the girl eats it out. You don't spread it Guys you can't please please for the love of fucking God Yes, scope oh Well you start talking to him and he's talking to him and nobody fucking has any funny on scopos. What was it? I said you scopos ass you need like a car jacked open it I wouldn't find you I didn't hear it It was pretty funny

I used to that are you I can't believe I mean getting your ass eaten is one of the fucking greatest things ever done. I don't want, I don't want, I don't want my ass eaten. You don't want your ass eaten? No, I don't want anything close. You got your ass hairy? You got a big greasy. I have very hairy.

Really? It's got the dinosaur in it. Is it because you would never look at that girl the same way because you knew her mouth was literally in your ass all of the sudden? Just don't. Yeah, it just freaks me out the whole time because I know what kind of, what happens. What kind of tragedy zone there is. What, and what position do you get in as a mommy?

All four is, all four is the same way a girl does it. And then I go eat that pussy. What piece of your man? Man, what? I told you. Look at the dirty day machine bitch. You lick the dirty day. What? What position we're gonna try to block a pun you just see whatever I don't know we're using one line back and you're fucking idiot

I told the girl that eat that I go eat that pussy and she went what I was like, yeah, just you know I told the girl that I go eat that pussy. And she went, what? And I was like, and just, you know, you're doing to go. She actually went, what? Eat the ass pussy. I used to be way too into it. I think I was way too into it.

I had one of the bartenders here, Puerto Rican girl, way back, smoking hot. She used to just eat my ass and suck my dick. God bless you. I would go meet her at like after she's done with her work and she would smoke a cigarette talk. She was smiling. It's going each S and we go back up to my place. I remember the last time she ate my ass. I thought it was like 900 degrees out humidity. It's just hot. We walked to my place up on 97 street.

From here? No, no, no. We were midtown. I was just, well, I got there and I got on all fours and she grabbed, she started like grabbing my dick and then she went into my ass and went, go wash your ass, baby girl. She's patting my ass. But the baby girl? You ever have a vibrator in your ass or doldo? No, fingers and I had knuckles. Good for you. How about a, how about a, how about a, fingers or a tattoo? I think knuckles. No, no, no. You were how about a, how about a, fingers or a chest and knuckles? No, no, no.

Oh, you were thinking to the knuckle, you were straight knuckle. No, no, no, no. No, no, no. Straight knuckle meat is different than you were thinking to the knuckle. She did a knuckle. This was a dominatrix.

Jesus Christ, Bob. And she, no, she was a friend of mine. I wasn't in the, oh yeah, I was a friend of it. Is everybody? Oh, well, in that case, well, I wasn't into Dominatrix, is my point. She was a friend of mine. Do you have solid?

No. No. We used to fuck around, and then she got into Dominatrix. I went to her place when we started falling around, and she goes, I'm going to do this. And she just rubbed her knuckles around my household. Instead of putting it, I don't really like a finger in it because it's just too much presser and then I fart I always fart and then I feel bad

Because I hit and it's one of those quit like and it's like a And I just I know she's feeling it on her knuckle like just that the warm air It's Oh I know this shit juice and galling Oh I know this shit juice and galling Thump

My dog's getting my prostate sex and I turn I go I go that's all you got But you ever now and I've never done this went all the way but you know it and I got here right here If I said I went all the way this story would have been different That's all I'm saying no no I've had to ask me set me up have you ever had a dude on your ass and I said no and, I've had to do it. Because he asked me, he sent me up. Have you ever had a duel in your ass? And I said, no. And now I've had fingers and how deep. How deep? It came out my fucking mouth.

You play with my tonsils. I'm like, inside my ass. I like that one. I don't know how deep. Deep enough to make me come like a jack rattle You never a finger It's a black white thing. This goes me a 60s. I mean What I Know You fucking yeah, but having your nipples like this gay having your ass play with this

That's all the Indian thing man That was a dude the chief to become a chief. I don't know if you know you got to get you shit fucked by fingers by the the warrior finger So you two achieve? Yeah, well we're warriors My fingers by the the warrior finger so you two achieve yeah, well, we're warriors Yeah, we're like yes, or yeah, yes warriors We're ass wars I want to sit and shit be a man of the cloth That's it's quite normal I'm talking like that's normal. That's normal at all. I shit's quite normal.

I don't think so. So what did you have in your asshole? Huh? What has he? What? Yeah, you're like, do you like that shark and jaws they found on the shit? Lices plate from Cape Lod. What do you coat dealers?

Nothing, you know, fingers, a little vibe, you know. You had a vibrant in your ass, there were going, what's big to you? What's big to me? How big? I didn't get it here. You look no too. I would say use your fingers, but they're all the same size. Boom, you have the baby down for you.

That's right. That's right. What? It's so small. Can you hold this? I'm talking to look here. I, man. Can you hold this? I'm just gonna look at it. I'm just gonna watch you hold stuff.

Take a fetish video. Hold this for me, man. No, I know. That's been done. Listen to me. All right. All right. No, no, no.

Not a big vibrator. Not, you know. Like a bullet. Yeah. No, that's too small. I'm not gonna tease myself. I don't know, it's not a big vibrator, not you know. Like a bullet? Yeah, that's too small, I'm not gonna tease myself. I don't know, just so Lauren, what were you saying about?

Sorry, way back to what you were getting your ass leg cut. Yeah, you know, in the shower. Yeah, wait, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, me back to that night. I was going to go. So we're in the shower. Yeah, you and who? Me? This is Guy. I already can't. You know, no big deal. Whips it out. Yeah.

Put it out on the table. Is he? On a table? Yeah. He had a table. A table in the shower. How close was he to this table? You're not blocking his fucking fantasy.

Shut up. Shut the hand. You said this game. Shut the hand. Hey, you fucking reporter boss. Shut up Hey, hey, fucking reporter Vos What are you doing you look like you're fucking writing a story about No people have talked about but anybody ever called it chucky hands because that was fucking hilarious. Yeah, I called it Chucky Hands. Jesus Christ.

How the hell does folks? So, he whips it out on the table. What do you wear in, by the way? Where are you, have you been drinking? I mean, she's so stuff. And it's just like, I don't want to go in, I want to go in the shower.

Yeah, yeah. You naked? Yeah, I was. Wait no, no, but you were wearing something before you were naked. Well, I took that off. Well, it wasn't. Yeah. Oh, you know were wearing something before you were naked. Well, I took that off. What was it? Yeah, oh You know to small jury picked up. Yeah, you picked up where like the dollars to the long Where was it did he take it off you you slid it off? I'm ready. All right listen

I can't have you sexy Kelly. All right, we can't. All right, enough. I don't want to, because I got to work with her every week. And I'm going to think of fucking all you guys getting blow jobs and ass plays. Have you ever served her before you? What? What have you said?

You're like, you're like, it hasn't happened already. I've never, look at me. I've got to work with her every week. Look at me. I don't want to think of her that way. Look at me. I'm gonna tell you right now. I've never Let me tell you I've never ever Ever ever jerk off to Lord ever Let me take you back to the hiring of Lord. This is how we're next your height

After he came did he make you uh... uh... forget it when did it come go i need to know what to come with what the fuck down the drain you need your throat i don't know i need to know you don't swallow you don't swallow you oh okay where you going?

huh? where the swallowing said you get a sweater you got to go no i'm not sure i'm just going to see you later Listen come back up a happy new year you two men happy. Yeah, I'll come back up. All right fucking February I do a cameo. That's what I do. I stop and I do a quick cameo and I'm out. Okay, buddy Happy new year, buddy. I love you. All right. I'll see you guys I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, on the show. Sign the thing, don't forget to sign that. Sign that. Sign the thing. We're going to hook you up. Anyways, we're going to go to the chat room real quick.

We're going to go to the Skype calls real quick. What's up, Steve? Who are you saying something? No, I'm just waiting for a U to finish. We're going to go to the chat room real quick right now. And then we're going to go to some Skype calls, take some calls, which is we've never really done on the show. It could be a fucking nightmare.

I'm thinking it might be, but if there's any girls listening, that'd be great for you to call up. Please, no, I'm not taking calls right now. Well, tell him, but fuck, why is he calling? He's an idiot. Well, tell him to stop fucking calling. I'm gonna block him. He keeps, probably Lewis.

He's sweet to add a fucking, there's no calls, no answers. Yeah, tell him, we to we're taking them right now So tell him in 10 minutes. What do you got in the chat room depot long granados asks whatever happened to Lauren taking her top off after getting a certain number of Twitter Followed oh my god, I could help you boost those Twitter numbers Please let this be I think we said 50 thou 50,000 You want it you want it 50,000. Yeah, that's a bit much for white. No, we need for us Okay, no, yeah, come I say

10,000 and best 10,000 followers and best I think I'm in there only titties just like guys guys can you is a lot of fun Followers a lot sexual harassment. Yeah. There's a lot of fucking crazy Sorry, you got here's a deal. You I mean you guys really aren't scared of that shit No, you really so if someone listens to this podcast and listen to us talking to her the way we're talking to her You know right now she can literally just go you know what I came home and I felt like crap Yeah, I was into it then but now I feel that all these guys I'm cool cuz I know Reggie would be the only one who's arrested Totally cool right now and all I gotta say is look I support you as an independent woman

And I'm glad that you get rights too. Yeah, I would say I would literally say my wife don't give a fuck So suck my dick and I will walk away. I don't care talking to me or her in the fuck Whoever I don't give a fuck if she snitch I Know snitch body She snitch the fuck is that I don't think feminist are really listening to your pocket I don't think Feminist are really listening to your podcast. I don't think that's a big blow. It's not my demo, but the scary thing is that,

if anything happens to any one of you guys, and your name comes up, they'll listen to this shit, and someone could just take a little bite of you saying some fucked up shit, and put it in something, and they got you. And it doesn't matter if it's true or not, it doesn't matter the facts, It doesn't matter what really happened with social media 140 characters a 15-second video Periscope all this fucking queer weird fucking nutty shit

But for Lawrence Titties it's worth the rest I'm willing to take that chance. We're gonna take a picture with Lauren or her smile on just for proof Lauren you're happy, right? I mean if you want to make this better for everybody But one dickie in my little make everybody No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no man. What else you got in the chat room, D. Justin Ben says Scopo should eat Bobby's ass. I don't hate him that much. Make the poor kid Pew Kevin my beef still in his tongue. What else you got? 3D Prince hero says is Bobby afraid he's gonna get mugged after the podcast? I knew I knew he was coming. What is that? That was the racist joke. Can you guys tell me black guys?

Hey man, look man, I need to cut that out over there. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. I knew it was on. Remember? I was a pretty quiet show. No, it was actually pretty loud. They were fucking crazy. Wow, that wasn't loud as this. But, uh, I couldn't get... What was the guy that was supposed to show up? Was Derek? Yeah, Derek didn't come, so we got Yanis. He was fucking...

He didn't know I'm filling it up. Yeah, but he likes sneakers a lot. He's got a mean sneaker collection. Yeah, he's really in the space. The least is randomly every day would end to make us feel like BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP It seems like it sounds like dirt to me.

It's close enough. It seems like, I mean, you're not voting for Trump, right? No. Are you? No. Do you like Trump? It's a joke. No, I'm not probably voting.

Could I go all the way back to Philadelphia? I'm gonna do an absolute battle. Are you gonna vote? No. None of us are, huh? No. Isn't it weird? Who voted for Obama?

Anybody vote for him? I did. First time. Yeah, first time. Why did nobody vote for him the second time? They knew he was cool. Yeah, I've already had that confidence. Yeah, that moment I was like, yeah, then I was like, it's over.

I voted for Obama the first time too. And I was like, yeah, do I need a second time he's got wind yeah, I'm close to going with Bernie I'm close. I kind of like I can't I don't know if I could do Bernie I like his because grassroots style of fuck. They not letting them on regular TV. I like the fact that he keeps Figure out a way to to throw this off. It's very scared. I mean I hear you but it's very scary because You're trying to be that one percent. I mean we're in this, but it's very scary because... And it just did a... You're trying to be that 1%. I mean, we're in this business. You're not trying to make 100 grand a year. You're trying to be a millionaire.

If someone offered you a show and you became one of those motherfuckers that was making millions and millions of dollars and all of a sudden you got to give that up, you finally did it and then you got to give it up and give it to fucking Yannis and Chris. Oh, you mean Chris i mean just Chris

and people people and boss and keep really you have to make a that many millions we have been out there

and you think i got a hundred million dollars the duck a bird distorted uh... a charity in order to dodge taxes? Actually, well everybody does yeah, this what you do. We think fucking all those rich people do charity I'm about to do wait for more young My little kids about this Much kids selling fucking candy bus from basketball

Are you doing a fucking jazz voice right now? Yeah, Bobby. Bobby, Bobby. Easy, apart too. Yo, Bobby, Bobby. Get a dick, get a dick. Yeah, that did it. What's up, Y'all?

You got a beard? Huh? You got a beard in? Oh, God. Are you attracted to me? Oh, God. That jump was huge. I am. I'm talking about the fucking world that you had. Do you have to me? That jump was huge. I am. I'm talking about the fucking world that she had just appeared and you went, why would you?

But you're feeling me a little bit. A little bit, right? Who was that? Like O.T.s? You like fat dudes? Why'd you like it or no? No, I like it. If you like fat dudes, you'd be talking to me.

No, no, no, black fat dudes. Yo, what's the difference? You can't see the stretch marks. Well, you're clearly over there. You see that every time I come back to this podcast, you will notice that I will have a beard from now on. Like, what's up, guys? Just pulled right out of here.

Just different than Harrison Greenbaum's beard. Like, go ahead. What's up, guys? I'm totally straight. What's going on? You guys are talking about pissing? Those sound stairs. And I've heard it, and I get so much fucking pissing.

I'm not gonna be last night. Oh god, this girl is squirt all over me the other night. Oh, fuck. So fucking hot. I love girl Jizz. I love when I swallow it and it's down my throat. Seriously. I want to run a train on her.

You guys want a cow? It's so fucking straight it hurts What I will you saying yeah, what were you saying I was saying that the chances like now it the chances of Comedium becoming like hundreds of million rich is not what it used to you crazy We covered heart just did it me Schumer just fucking did it Three people. Well, yeah, but it's always two. It's never fucking. It's always two or three people Never it Louise Donnet Chris Rock is still in it Seinfeld still in it. I mean

Zach Alfonakis is making money I mean, there's more millionaire comedians right now than this probably ever has been but I'm talking about I'm talking about I'm talking about that comic fell yep, I would look at that indication Fuck him out fuck that talk about no comics. You know, Stan. They started doing arenas now and theaters They never fucking did these massive rock you know what rock and roll is right now. It's stand-up comedy The people that went to rock and roll shows go to stand-up comic shows now we sell not a reenis I mean fucking a reenis well not us but none of us but context it's it's it's it's it's it's it's never been that big and you have the opportunity yeah it's not a hundred I'm talking about

that syndication said come on yeah I'm talking about that's not because that stand-up that that that's that four camera shoot doesn't exist anymore. Right. And it's syndication all that. But you can still make that money on the road and you can still make that money on a TV show. As millions, but not the hundred. Yeah, but you can still make that money, man. That is there. Dude, we're talking, how much money Kevin Hart's making this year.

Kevin Hart, yeah. Kevin Hart's making exception. Kevin Hart made a exception. I think we're 100 million Kevin Hart? Amy's making a fucking bundle and then you do one movie with a back end dude Harrison Ford just made 35 million fucking dollars and he's got a small percentage of points. It's available out there especially for comedians now. But you know, if you make 35 million, I mean, you made a hundred million dollars.

Yeah, I would, you know, I'm fine. I like, I would give, I don't mind paying a lot of taxes if I got that much money. I mean, how many millions do you need, you know? I'm not. You buy the house you need. You mean, you're the shit you need, where else you need.

You know, you know that that shit goes away though, quick. Because it's all relative. So like, what do you need? You know that that shit goes away though, quick. Because it's all relative. So like, what do you live? In-between houses, right? I'm sorry. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Were you living filling? Yeah, you're taking a taxi.

I'm here. You have an apartment. Yeah. You have certain bills, right? Small. And you're living, you know, check to check. You're fucking hustling, right? I'm high living, check to check.

Nothing, man. I'm just living. But you're... Butling right high living check the tech mountain now But I'm doing the same thing you're doing. I just got more bills. Yeah, you know, I'm saying I have more bills Someone who has a million dog 10 million dollars is doing the same thing. I'm doing or you're doing it's all relative because they have two porches are made Three houses and a fucking boat. I have a question. Why do you have to get all that stuff? Yeah, why do you have to get all that stuff?

Like that's your decision. You want to decide how to get that stuff. You don't have to get that stuff. Okay, you didn't hear your question. Who doesn't do to that? You didn't answer the question with nonsense. You said, I said, why do you get this time of state because you can afford it?

You can do it. That makes no sense. You don't have to get it. I'll tell you why you get it. Because when you get that money, when you get that type of money, you buy things that, number one, that you've always wanted, number two, tax write off, number three, when you have,

you buying a fucking coffee to somebody buying a 10,000 bottle of wine, it's the same thing. So if I'm rich, if I make it, and all of a sudden, I can just get caviar, I can fly to fucking Russia and drink whatever I want And it doesn't even make a fucking dent just like you going to get sushi with him tonight. Why the fuck? I'm gonna do it.

I don't want to, the thing is in your mind, why do you gotta ask something quick, why do you want to do all that horseshoe? I know this, if I can't really get $ now, tomorrow, I'm balling the fuck out. But I'm not used to having a million dollars. So, I mean, you have to have a 20 dollars, man. Well, I would ball out, like I would lose it. And I was just trying to make it again. I don't know, give them to my last 10,000. I'm like, all right, I'm surprised I can save you.

So, what would you do if I get, all right, here's the question, right? You tell me, what would you do if I get all right? Here's the question ready you tell me what would you do if I gave you 30 million dollars first I will buy It would say thank you to Bobby. I want to say shit. I would eat it first. I will literally buy it I will buy East Coast condo and a West Coast condo two bedrooms a piece Summaram around you in my house. No, I'll buy two condos, cause they better invest in.

They already turn over so we buy that, alright, alright. We get it. I'm married though, he has his own way. I'm married to the head fuck, yeah. I'm 20 by the time you come in. That's what I'm talking about. Okay, I'm too condos. I want to buy two condos.

200-200-H. Yeah, 200-H, now I'm at 400. So it's not in a good neighborhood. Uh, there's West Coast, the condos for 200 and West Coast. I'm telling you right now, shit neighborhoods. I can live with that as long as the neighborhood So you wouldn't you wouldn't put your kid in a fucking great neighborhood grade school system on both sides I would buy those condos and those condos if I went to I can rent them out. I can do that

Fuck I'm not money coming in there You're trying to figure out how to spin money. I'm trying to figure out how to I'm trying to have a better my life and do so I move I went out I bought I'm trying to had a better my life and do so I move I went out I bought Condo in New York or co-op in New York first money. I got I'm buying a co-op I did it and then I was like okay I want my kid to be in a better school district I don't want to raise them in Manhattan. I wanted to go up so I went and bought a place In New York. I didn't go by the five-bedroom house with the pool

I bought the three-bedroom ranch with a cool back yard in the night school's district. That's cool. Okay, but, but- I couldn't afford it. I don't have, I could afford it. Oh, okay. I could have afforded it, but I would have been, I-

Never. Never. Never. I could afford it. But think about this, now if I buy the two condos, with that million, if I bought the two condos, right? Yeah. I want to wear school, whatever.

You so, now- 30 million, you're buying two condos, that's it. Yeah, why not because the other such a money coming No, look at listen common sense when you sit there You're black and you're in some rinses too. I don't you guys Look at the way I dress. I don't give a fuck What you do is you let that money sit there when you're on East Coast you read out the West Coast So now you're not paying for any of those things. They're paying for themselves. They're no top of that You can move your kids and I don't have kids

You're saying you're gonna have you're gonna be getting a landlord. Yeah, no, no, no, you get a management company you get a man to come and manage your family and buy a fucking building and they rent it out Okay, no, no, you don't do that out the gates because now you just wasted a show When if that building goes under and you have a whole bunch of problems now you have a money pit you buy small You build up slowly he's giving a fucking do sell shitty Tom Hanks okay what about it is literally everybody who you love the millionaire maybe your first special fiducia or leave a spot give the band down what else this has been money talk with Chris God. Fiscally responsible. When you get your money, when you get your 30 million, what do you do?

We out! Big stuff every day. We out! We out! Bipples and dick. One tick, the lick, my nipples, one tick, the suck my dick, and I'll just count my money. What's the, what would you buy?

What would you do? I would buy, I would buy a place in this buy. And I would, I would have to buy my sister stuff. I would buy it in my place. To you buy, you, will buy a place in this by and I will I will have to buy my sister stuff I will buy them a place to you buy you you get a place and you buy your sister a place. Yeah Okay, ask me what I will do I'm coming to you It is a real fucking seductive question and it's a it's a Really seductive conversation to have because you because when you don't have this type of money and you never did, and there's an opportunity,

there is an opportunity better than the lottery that one of us in this room, maybe not 30, but one of us will be a millionaire. Somebody in this room could be a millionaire, a multi-millionaire. Now you take a million, as soon as you spend a dollar, you're a thousandaire. We're talking a multi. We're talking ten million and above. So, that could happen in here. So, it's actually kind of, you know, it could be a motivating thought

instead of a fantasy. So, well, I mean, that's all you do, as you buy out. I would do other things because I'm starting to learn how to use my money now, because I then spent a lot of money. So, you got that regular metro card with the extra fare. I would own that. That's the thing. On the train. I would go this train is the M train from my bro. Right.

Well someone's gonna buy me boobs, so. No, you're not. I'm just gonna buy me boobs. Get in there. $10,000, right there. $10,000, you're done. Where are you at now? Where are you at now?

Where are you at now? $32,000. And it's a good tip right there. That's a great tip. there that's a great tip that's a great tip say on the phone yes the it'll just be making sure my sister's all right because those are the people that's gonna keep the heat you up for money right what yeah that's what would you do I would indecent proposal I find out how much learn in her husband would require for still getting divorced No joke

It's a bad thing for me. Hey, hey, yeah, what would you do? What would I do with all that money? I would buy I would buy a house. I buy a house. I would treat buy my dream house. Where is that? Queens no, Ben's in her story. Probably Westchester. Probably me. Yeah, up there is someone like that. Okay, cool. Close to the city, right? Get a little house pool Whatever, you know, a little acre land nice crazy. Yeah, then I would buy, definitely buy an apartment in Miami. So I could, you know, put on a Miami when I wanted. Right. And a little apartment in LA for the career.

So that's a lot of money. That's, we're talking a house up there is 5, 6, 7. Right, we're talking, thing in New York, we're talking another 7 to a mill. Yeah. What you want. And the Miami's gonna be, it's gonna, it's probably be a mill down there, right?

A little buy back, I got a question. And then out in LA, you're gonna need to fucking other LA is the most expensive. It's up there more than New York's. You're gonna spend, you're gonna spend around five million dollars just on places to live. I'll probably get a half a mill house of half a mill.

500 grand out there. Probably get myself a little mill, a little mill apartment down in Miami. I put, not put the whole thing down, take out a loan, put a little back, put a little tax right off. How would you put a loan? Huh? Play that off right away.

No, you don't do that. No, you don't do that. Tax right off, buddy. But you only get that tax right off once, so it has to be one joint, and you get a better deal up here in New York. You get more money up here. Yeah, but I want to spot Miami. I have one question.

Yeah. So, Scobo, what would you do when the honest gets rich? What I want to spot Miami. I have one question. Yeah. So, Skopo, what would you do when you honest gets rich? What you want to do? What do you want him to buy? I mean, eat that, ask him to. That's right. I want you to get in there. But now you're going to invest in it?

Yeah, but you get that money. Isn't Bernie like, fuck it. Give the money back. We don't need you to be as described as if you get that money. Is it because of the amount you're going to spend on similar. But with Bernie be as described as if you get that money is it because of Well, I'm just I'm a similar Yeah, so if you get that money, you know, I'm a so only he only wants you to give the money back if you're not creating jobs Like that thing if you're you're money to create jobs, okay? He's full for that like like so you didn't fucking have any jobs I and a long run of my plan. What's your long run? You don't want to know how long this

I mean what is your I mean yeah if you're creating fucking jobs What's your long run plan? You don't want to know how long this plan is. Just how? I mean, what is your, I mean, yeah, if you're creating fucking jobs, what jobs you're creating, he's talking about people with businesses. He's talking about, you, we're comedians. What do you think? You're gonna fucking sleep till three. You become a multi-millionaire. First of all, all these guys are gonna be living with you.

Okay? And you're gonna be fucking sleeping till three. You're not gonna give a fuck., 30 million definitely you won't you Go down like you know what does and not if you already playing out You just give me a 30 million dollars. I'm I'm taking care of shella and To get out of this business. I wouldn't get out the business. How much would it cost? That's not the question I give you 30 million money 30 million dollars to get the fuck out

X at the Quincy Jones Quincy Jones never does shit and he fucking loves his job We don't know what Quincy Jones does it this day. So you wouldn't cost you a debt you no money. I could give you No, I'm not to get it to stop doing stop doing stand. I'm talking stop doing stand up No amount of money. I'm talking cash no amount of money if I want to stop because I want to stop I'll stop but the money doesn't stop no man. I mean you can die at the end man. I love what I do no amount of money I don't know that's what I'm saying that's true, but if you give me $30 30 30 This is in the burger. We have 30 dollars.

I'm taking a weekly. Look at the scratches. This net, though. That's what creeps me out the most. He's scratching himself. 30 million dollars tomorrow. What? Like, if you give about me and my life,

but if you give me 30 million dollars tomorrow, it's like, I don't have anything to complain about anymore. Kinda. Yeah, man, you can't have a complaint. You're like, just 30 million dollars, man. You ain't, you're not the same guy. What are you doing, Bob, with 30 million? Fucking 30, five.

You're doing Bob, with a shit business. Fucking, never doing this dumb show again. Fucking done with all you five million, I'm out of the shit business. Fuckin' fuckin' never doin' this dumb show again. Fuckin' done with all you five million, I'm out of work. You know what, dude? With Yonis Papis and Deep Hood? And of course, Lauren, so Lauren, let's go to some more blowjob stories. Why's every episode about blowjob? Every time. Oh, God.

What are you talkin' about when you got 30 million? Dude, I'm talking 5 million. Kevin Hart doesn't? What is it? He got 92 million. Yeah, yeah. And now there's 5 million. Andy Dill, 5 million, I'm getting a place in the hand.

Okay? An absolute point. And I'm only coming out when the place is sold out. Like, you have to come and go, no. All the tickets are sold. 2,000 people is done out. Like, I have to come and go, no. All the tickets are sold. 2,000 people is done. And then I go. And then I go, I'm not fucking tweeting.

I'm fucking, hey, can Bobby tweet? We're a little fuck. Number two of those. Facebook goes. I keep Instagram just for fucking weird side photos of shadows in me in the woods. I take my car to shit. Bobby Kelly's artsy-grand. I'm done.

I'm on a fucking round hunting. I'm fizz, I'm learning how to make for the apocalypse. How about the food? Are you just fucking? No, I'm fucking, no, I'm getting shredded. You're getting trapped. I'm getting abs. I'm getting that V-doodle-gap.

I'm fucking growing my hair. I'm gonna grow the hair. I'm gonna have a little baby curl, a gray baby curl. Come the fuck out, right in the front. Fresy beard, fuckin'. I'm gonna look nuts. I'm gonna look fuckin' nuts. Sexy, I'm gonna look so weird.

I'm gonna be hot. Oh, go fuck me to get him. I'm gonna be fuckin' Dallas. Five million, I'm done. I'm gonna follow you, fucks. I'm gonna take it all those red pillows. I'm taking those red pillows. And I'm taking that fuck right there. And I'm gonna fucking, I'm million of thunders, all you fucks. I'm taking all those red pillows. I'm taking those red pillows, and I'm taking that fuck right there, and I'm gonna fucking, I'm gonna shoot arrows at that fucking wall.

Bob, he just turns the rambo. Five million, I'm out. It used to be ten. Five years ago, it was ten. No, it's fun. Five, it's gonna be down to fucking 850. What are you fucking assholes buys buys my house and rest just. Yeah, I get it, you guys are all.

I was in love with Stan of Comedy, it was my wife, it was my girl, it was my family for years. And then all of a sudden, you get a wife and you get a family and you get a house. And this is, I love stand up, I love doing it, but it's a fucking job, man. Now with the social media shit, where you get, it's like you are the one

that has to, your clubs used to take out ads and radio shows. I don't do radio no more. I don't ever go to fucking radio, unless you're famous famous, they don't want fun, they're not gonna stop their fucking pop hits of the fucking, you know, of the week to get you unless you're huge, or unless they know you and their fans, you know, of the week to get you unless you're huge,

unless they know you and their fans you, and the club's not paying $1,500, $2,000 a month for a radio spots for us, either you sell or you don't, and when you don't, you're fucked. You're a dick, then you know when the manager isn't there Saturday, and when the owner leaves Saturday night, when he's at the bar for what's up, oh hey!

You know you made that motherfucker a Porsche money. But when he's guy, I gotta go early, you know. It's like I'd see it, you know, fuck. So on me, I gotta Twitter is the, really? Twitter stinks, fuck Twitter. I'm saying it, fuck you Twitter, you fucks. I've been to your offices. I was one of the first people at Twitter

I'm a one fucking one-on-one a Twitter and that what the fuck it stinks everybody fuck Twitter Twitter Stinks ruined the fucking world the fucking gave everybody a fucking voice and it fucking does nothing for us And we're out there. Hey, can you tweet? Okay, and we're tweeting selling our fucking souls every fucking week Dude all you do is promote what the fuck? I'm a comic. I tell jokes. I don't know how to fucking Christ. What's the thing? It's Snapchat.

Snapchat fucking. Snapchat. It's just, it is. It's fucking weird, man. I don't know. I love Twitter. And that's just because we end that era now. Like, I grow it up.

I grow it up. I'm kind of falling back. You know, I love, I'm off. I'm not as up. I'm kind of falling back. You know, I love I used to I'm off I'm not as on it as much because yeah But you all lose your power though. It doesn't matter for you. Yeah, you lose your power It's like we're supposed to be funny on stage, but now you got to be available all the All the time and it's just like no, but here's the thing if you're not funny on Twitter or fail or whatever You actually get called not funny

That's cool me and then people see me live and like wow you're really funny. It's like are you fucking kidding me right now? I don't say shit make these mother fucker tweet and I'll ask them questions But I don't say Joe I'm saying jokes on fucking Twitter make these motherfuckers come back out like stand up for your fucking cell and say okay Do you say some That's how people got people to the shows doing fucking Joe Twitter hang on yannis is tweeting right now You can tweet jokes are there I don't tweet like jokes like you're just sweet bullshit Where is thoughts we all see him guys? I'm'm sorry real quick the fucking he just went out my house

Fucking my kids got a fever this fuck I spent 15 fucking grand on a new heating unit this year What pieces of shit that was a condo you have a manager come up and the builder manager would have had to fix the whole fucking But he doesn't want to raise his kid I thought you said I thought you said the home something you fuck you I don't want to hold a fucking house yet. I am gonna have a house so too, but there's with the head of the house. It's not doing We're going. We got spots. Yeah spots. No, we got spots. Yeah, he's gonna be here. No, I know he'd Tell me that spot. It's supposed to be there for a fucking show. Yeah, we're here for hour and a half, 9.30 to 11. What? It's 10.45.

No, I love this show. It goes for whenever. It's always been that. I've never done an hour and a half show. You know that. You know the show goes when a fucking whatever. Still getting out of your chair. Oh, you're making good plays.

That's all right. We're gonna take a, I was. I got it. Don't worry about it. We'll go. We're going to take a, I was, I got, I got, I got, I got. That's all right. Don't worry about it. We'll go. We're going to take a break anyway. It's just been a fucking fun cluster fuck so far of, of, of, of,

horse shit. But I think it's a five million, Robby. Yeah. I, I, I, it's down to actually, I don't want you to fuck me. I don't want you to fuck me. I take it before you have to stop, you have to stay in this. I'll do the 999,000 right now. I'll walk the fuck out.

I want to get my heat fixed. And then fucking never talk to any you guys They fix it for 15 grand. It's not working. That's fucked up. Huh? You put in 15 grand. Are you leaving or you fucking starting this conversation? Right? I know. Yeah, fuck you. I tried to start that and then you went I gotta go I gotta go Fuck you Fuck sucker if I get a titsau you'd stay for another hour I gotta go fuck you up a couple minutes. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. If I get a tits out, you'd stay for another hour and a half.

I mean, yeah. Keep going to beer and we'll see what I do. Stupid. Stupid. We'll see what I do. What if I sleep in bags and tinnies come out? Well, we come back with doing Skype. I'm going to read you today.

So call in. What's the date? What's up? Yeah, next date, January 8th and 9th. Bananas, Hasbro Heights. Check it out. And if you go into the show, make sure you tweet about it. No tweet about it.

Just spread the word about it. Tell a little friend. Yeah, bring people. Fucking bytickets. Alright, well, what's your, what's your Twitter handle, baby? Yannis Papis, I'll be at Gotham last weekend in January, New York City. Great club. Awesome.

I love those guys. Good for you. What do you got, Monroe? What? You're leaving. What the fuck do you have? No, in January, I'll be in China from 17th to 20th. I don't have any, I have fucking one dude in China.

I don't know, man, what the fuck you want me to say, Bobby? I'll just say you do something. Talk about your father's face. Twitter, uh, Monroe Martin in his purse. So there's Monroe Martin, I, I, I on Twitter, Facebook and everything. Did you stutter as a foster kid? I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, gente? ¿Dónde estás, a la gente? ¿Dónde estás, a la gente? ¿Dónde estás, a la gente? Bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno, Desde Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea.

Parifa sujeta a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. foster kids and I found I don't it was just a little weird you know we got to a lot of parks with a ton of toys to kids last year over a thousand toys and we got them to teenage boys to which never ever get anything in a jewelry place that I used to be in actually worked in we brought them Xbox one we got them all video games you hoodies hats gloves We the Bobby gang All right, we'll come back. We're gonna do Skype so get your calls ready. What's the Skype number? Okay, so you can either Messes the call you account YKWd podcast on Skype or you can call 347 983 ykwd get it 983 347 983 ykwd Put it on screen during the break all right

So we'll be on the screen during the break and we'll be taking the call don't call fucking now asshole Yeah, that one guy stop it You write up mute you and ruin the show you fuck. I know it's not gonna be He's gonna go Barbies a fat fuck or something. That's what it's gonna be in a fucking Louis Gomez voice We'll be back in a couple seconds All right, what's up? We're back. Why can't I mean it's been a fucking crazy? I had a lot of people on the show Free shit y'all can hand out. What do you mean like free shit like gift shit swag yeah we're swag shit we get swag once in a while what's the email

address swag what's it what's it what's the address here is your address is 117 Mcdougal street does he know the zip code one zero zero two one New York City New York New York New York so if you guys want to send us care of Robert Kelly swag why is getting care of YKWD Robert Kelly if you want to send us anything Robber Kelly swag wise game Kara of YKWD Robert Kelly if you want to send us anything for the comics that come on feel free to ship it there we have a shirt you want a black shirt I do how many eggs?

I got two eggs is let me get a two eggs So we got a two eggs? Oh that looks bad I'm down to I got an XL that's about it I'm down to an XL I got a you know what I got I got a dick pump you want a dick pump? I'll take a dick pump. Oh you Overloom is here. No, I'll take both me and my wife do a lot of fucking why do you need a dick pump? Why not take a dick pump my dick is big

Overloom is good the best open the market. Oh, I'll come check it out. Here it is ready. It's a hydro max original water pump You just add water, it's by bath mate. Okay? I'm only getting half my dick and my wife from that, I can only use a quarter of my dick. Here you go, you want that? What about that? Wait, what about that?

Wait, what the fuck outta here now? I got something for you, you want something? Yeah. Oh, that's even better for the fuck. Ooh. I got this, it's called, hang on a second, hang on. He's settled down. He's sick all hard. Acting like a fucking, hang on. It's a dick heart.

Acting like a fucking homeless guy with a bottle of booze, relax. Alright, I have the band in, right? Yeah, it's water. Alright, this is called the pipe dream. It is extreme. Please be gentle. It's my first time. Is your dick gonna fit in this?

Oh yeah, dude. Are you gonna smold dick? No, you got air on. You got air on. You got air on. Well, you wet. This is a, uh, uh, uh, by pipe dream of a Jaina Snatch. I like that.

You want this? Yeah, thank you, Bob. A virgin Snatch. That's actually an big enough of my dick. Great. No. Are you gonna fuck that? Yeah, I'm using it.

Why would I use this? We're gonna need this if we're gonna fuck it. This is a... Bonus prizes. This is called bonus prize. This is called ubaloo No, it's not a We got a jerk him off So, okay, I'm so glad they left

I got dick fo this is called ubaloo right here and Get a little thing. This is probably the best loop on the market. The best loop So the other dude have to put it on you like this is the He wasn't So the other dude have to put it on you like this is the All right settle down settle down relax. I'm giving it to you. It's gonna compound So this is yeah, oh blue. There's the best loop on the market. I'm gonna give this plus that little pipeline of virgin vagina you like that Are you gonna fuck it? that little pipeline of Virgin vagina. You like that? Yeah, man. Are you gonna fuck it?

Now will you come back and tell us what you think of it? Yeah, yeah, I'll use it tonight. All right, cool. There you go. Oh, wow. Does anybody ever try one of your dick pumps? I'm not on the show, but I'd love for you to come back and tell us what you think.

I'll tell you about it. If it made you dick bigger or whatever. We can switch, too. Like, you use that for a while. Wow, that was a young one, yeah. Jesus, just kind of fucking old movie. That's what you're gonna put your dick in it. He's putting his dick in it. You can't switch. Oh, a nice little white one too. Alright, that's not... Come on, you know what I mean?

I have a... You gonna lick it first? No. Are you gonna kiss it? You gonna put it like in between two pillows and fucking... I'm gonna say it's You're gonna put it like in between two pillows and fuck it. I'm sorry. Is it still going? Yeah, we're still going. Alright, let's go to the Skype call real quick. Let's put the Skype up. You guys want to call in.

Please call right now the number. If you want to do video, it's YKWD podcast on Skype. Or if you want to just call in audio, 3, 4, 7, 8, 9, 8, 3, YKWD. Okay, that's 3, 4, 7, 9, 8, 3, YKWD where I've taken calls right now. So whoever calls in first, hopefully it's a girl. It's probably just that one guy that kept calling.

I feel bad, I feel bad, I'll yell that. It's probably just that one guy that kept calling. I feel bad. I feel bad our yellow denim. It's probably my only fan. It's probably the only real true YKWD fan. He's probably sent half this shit up here. You know what I mean? You give me my dick pump, no, Bob. Where is that fucking thing we got, the card?

Where is that from those people? I wanted to see things. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where is that? Hey, you take more. Okay, we go all right cool. We got deep booze This is a ha. Hey, go. This is a I can't not get that one. I thought it was going for that From Merry Christmas. We hope you have the per Perfect Christmas love Jenny and Justin and here it is them with their cats

Perfect Christmas love Jenny and Justin and here it is them with their cats I like it with their cats and their big fans of the show and they sent us some cups Thank you very much for that one of the cups. We have it up here somewhere, right? I correct that right here They sent us this great cup that I think Don't buck it. I think somebody's gonna jizz in this and drink out of it next to you. I love it. Are you really, would you drink a cup of jizz? I mean, I've drank it millions of times. Is that the way we're gonna say it?

I don't like that she has, she does not say it correctly. Hey, can you read this in your sexiest voice on the back of the box? Oh, this is great. I like it. Can we take this out? I'll just read it in my head, but why?

Yeah, bad, take it out. No, no, don't touch it. I don't want her hands on it. Why? Because you're from Alpha Dino. You're gonna rest it? Oh, don't touch it. I don't want her hands on it. Why? You just move out of the dinosaur. You get arrested. Well, this is really tight.

No, no, read the back of it. Read the back of it. That's where the uberloom comes in. Oh, shit. Oh, come with luke. Give me that luke back. No, no, no, no, no, don't come with luke. It's luke right there.

It's too luke. It's not luke. No, you keep that luke. Alright, let me get that luke. Let me get one more luke. There you go. Let's try cleaner. Read that back. Read the back. It's a toy cleaner. Read that back.

Read that back. Yeah, read it slow. First soft, phanta fleshed, shaft clings to your cock like a horny beginner and wraps around every 18-ish. Hang on, hang on. You stopped reading it like my fucking school teacher. Yeah, sexier. You're pronouncing your R's too much.

No, no, no, no, first of all, just read the rea-18 at the back. Let me see this. Read the regular 18-ish. I We're gonna read this is the way he wants it done good You've always wanted to fuck Already I've the average snatch like this. So here's your chance pick boy Barry here cock deep inside this Super tight slot inside this super tight slot and experience the thrill of untamed, untouched virgin pussy. I don't like this tranny voice.

I like it. The soft, fancy flush shaft clings. F*** you cock. Like a horn. I like this. It wraps around every inch of your pleasure. I just... Looks like we thought uncomfortable.

Yeah. Pretty little pussy. Oh, spread those pussy lips upon. Close your eyes. It's like a patchy... A popper is like a patchy diva that is. And give her... We are 18 at the end.

Come shot. She won't forget. We're only 18. Oh. How's that? Just dashed it. She won't forget we're only 18 Sound like a nun Put that roll cock in your own Lauren sound like fucking already like

Yeah, you put your cock in the I'm going to get you out of here. I'm going to get you out of here. I'm going to get you out of here. I'm going to get you out of here. I'm going to get you out of here. I'm going to get you out of here. I'm going to get you out of here. I'm going to get you out of here. I'm going to get you out of here. I'm going to get you out of here. I'm going to get you out of here. I'm going to get you out of here. I'm going to get you out of here.

I'm going to get you out of here. I'm going to get you out of here. I'm going to get you out of here. I'm going to get you out of here. I'm going to get you out of here. I'm going to get you out of here. I'm going to get you out of here. I'm going to get you out of here.

I'm going to get you out of here. I'm going to get you out of here. I'm going to get you out of here. I'm going to get you out of here. I'm going to get you out of here. I'm going to get you out of here. I'm going to get you out of here. I'm going to get you out of here. It's all 1130, they have to go to work. That poor one guy. Call right now, Skype video, you want a video, YKWD podcast, or 347-983 YKWD, just audio. Is there anybody in the chat room? Yeah, great. Got to, we were kind of busy.

Okay, what do you got? Did you tweet it on my phone? Yeah, all right, good. Is it bad that I want to go put my dick right now? I got to, I know I did. That's bad. But I want to, because I just want to put my dick to. Very, very different, I think it's gonna my dick right now. I know I did that's bad But I want to because I just want to put my Very is it very is I think it's gonna it's gonna be weird having Lauren on the show

Because she's so cute Kelly was chubby and nobody wanted the fucker like out and out like people wanted to fuck Kelly if I you a fucker like at night on a Sunday at an open mic Yeah, you had three Vokatonics in you I'll be real man. I would have fuck Kelly on us on a regular like I would fuck Kelly I'm like my dick is in something It's not your wife don't care if you fuck no, I can't fuck anything now. I'm saying I would have fucked Kelly If I wasn't with my wife I would fuck the shit out of Kelly if I wasn't with my wife I won't fuck the show Kelly like I The first time the shit out of her. Yeah, why not? I mean everybody I should be hard to get in there

Dicking no where man. I know he thinks it's pretty good. I'm gonna shoot you if you married right now No, that's that's actually how you kind of I'm got a pretty good dick. Yeah, that's not how you get married I'm not about that last time I got a pretty good dick. Married 21 years old. First piece of pussy married. No, I'm not. You haven't fucked anybody else since you were 21. I don't fuck anybody else since I was. I don't use these numbers. I never use these numbers. What are you talking about? I have a very shady beginning of our relationship with very shady. So I don't sell years on anything.

Really? So you're going to go for a long time. Wait, wait, wait, no, Chris. Answer the fuck question. Have a very shady beginning of our relationship with very shady so I don't thought years on anything really so you Gonna go for a long time. Hey, wait, wait, no Chris. Yeah, I can't answer the question. If I throw out a number then I'm fucking myself for the long answer the question I don't know. I'm married. No for him. You know the answer. Yeah, no idea. No, he has not I think you got a little bit of pussy in high school and got married. That's what we all think though Except for only person who knows how good I am at what I have me talking to him. Isn't it row because the rules are only when we came up in the mics with me. Well, I wouldn't even go out. I don't have I don't have shady stories because I would do shady shit.

I'm like I'm from that era of motherfuckers who disappear. I'm one of those motherfuckers. What do you mean? Like you know how you hang with your friend and you got that one friend. I was like, I'll see y'all later. I'm gonna take it in early. And then you see like Monroe and yeah, I'm this fucking yeah.

Exactly. I'll fucking leave and then you'll come back and fucking y'all on this park. Yeah, exactly. I'll fucking leave. And then you'll come back around. Because when you went to the square, I was there. The matter with the fuck I was doing. I was raised with quiet fucking dudes who got pussy. That's what the fuck I did.

Well, I just hit the fucking camera. Well, I don't, I don't understand. I mean, that's weird to me. How is that weird? I don't tell your friends. Where's all of them? I never liked that guy who fucking secretly gets pussy I like the guy who glamour told me and did this weird shit that I felt good about

Niki click a scumbag. I don't like the guy who makes me feel a feel like a fucking idiot like a piece of shit And then find out later you're a piece of shit, too Oh, no, I would tell you I'm a piece of shit and I would tell you the dirty shit I just wouldn't tell you who and where. Because it's like, that would fuck up. I'm a fat dude who got good pussy. So it would fuck up my chance of getting good pussy because of my talk too much.

So if you get a cute bit of fucking. What the fuck are you rollin' your eyes for? That's real shit. That's a real shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Okay, look at that. As a chick, as a real question.

If you fuck a fat dude, right? You enjoy it But if he's loud about it now that fat dude is getting a less pussy from cute chicks But if you a fat dude fuck a cute chick she tells a cute friend This is why this shit works for me and he's quiet you fuck more cute bitches You just shut the fuck up and get pussy Like that's how I was raised get the pussy and shut the fuck up It's dangerous trying to get laid at open mics these days though because of a there's a lot of blowback on the fucking you

Tell my open mic oh yeah, that's never spayed don't go get laid You know that one chicken she's weird. I have Crook school boy you fucking eat comic chicks. No I don't get talking all this pussy y'all single you should be getting pussy right this is the age of pussy I don't know talking all this pussy y'all single you should be getting pussy right this is the age of pussy I don't know how you know I get what the fuck is this the age of pussy like pussy and literally chicks are going out on Fucking the swipe and shit the tenders and all that go shit. They're looking for dick and dudes are not getting pussy I don't get how to fuck you wonder why can everybody to be talking about the last time they got pussy I said I actually fucking

You said that man, I'm here talking about it and I'm talking about pussy I think I'm mad I believe you Okay, he's just rambling. Okay, You are rambling I trick shit on this girl and I'm a fat guy and I don't I went on Twitter Remember you fucking fat guy I'm a wrong Bobby the fact that she looked at me and I she was willing to commit that should tell you how fucking good I am a talk She doesn't fuck fat guys. You don't bang fat guys.

Not yet. Listen to me. Lauren, do you bang fat guys? Yes, I would bang. You would bang fat guys. You have it so you don't. If he knows how to shake it, I got myself out. You banged the fat.

What was I selling banged the fat guy? Well, you have fat too. Yeah, what the heck? In this room, what fat did you fuck? All right, not obese, but overweight. Wait a minute, what the fuck did you just call me? I don't know. I can't.

Call me a pep. Who would you fucking deserve right now, no? No, we've done this. We did that every fucking year. It is not you, Reggie, relax. You know, that people would be- It's so funny how fucking, it is depo. It really is.

She said depo, absolutely. It's always depo. No, it's avarose every time. But here's a deal. It's so funny that you get- Because you get a sense of humor. You get a girl in a room and all we want to know is who she, I's always people. It's obvious every time. But here's a deal. It's so funny that you get a sense of humor You get a girl in a room and all we want to know is who she I mean every fucking time. Yeah, that's all we want to know is who she'd fuck I don't even care if she picks me. I just want to see if she answers it

Like yeah, I know that's true. You want to see how's because if she answers it somehow she's attainable Yeah, and then as she picks you then it's like a bonus and then you're over me yeah I'm just like oh yeah if you were a fuck Lauren right uh-huh if you guys were to fuck I am fucking Lauren thanks to this, uh, I dream. Thank you, Bobby. He's gonna put her face on the thing right now. Can I get a picture of Marvin Fowley? Be a Melodygian.

I just, it's weird. It's like, it's, I don't, I mean... It's just a fucking mental game, you guys don't play themselves. That's all it is. Yeah, well... It's more to see if you answer. I think it's better, too too when you do fantasize, if you do fantasize about a girl,

and she does kind of want you, it makes the fantasy better, even if you're never gonna do it. You know what I mean? So I like that. Yeah, it's, it's a- Well, so you do that with like a really over famous person that you know you'll never get,

but you just fantasize. No, like it could be someone on a train for me. Like if I see a nice Bad ass in the train. I'll remember that and then you know like jerk off to that like the girl in the train Yeah, it's not really famous people right Well, again, it like a mysterious woman Normally chicks that I like I worked with right I jerk off to girls that I used to fuck Yeah, there's a couple girls. I used to have

Intense sex with that would just on my page and it's a it's a couple of ex there's a couple girls I used to have intense sex with that would just on my page And it's a it's a very specific specific page that I'm on I like me and my wife. It's great We have a good I love it, but then there's there's there's two there's three girls in my life who are on the exact same page I was on and One was very violent She's still like scratch me. It was weird. I should get mad. She'd be like I want cookies and I'd be like well get cookies. I want them now. I'm like, I'm gonna show bitch.

You know what I mean? I shouldn't even scratch during sex. She's like cookies. We did. It was a lot of weird shit but I still like mouse game. I still liked it in a weird way. I was, I swore her off many times. But then there was another girl I met who, again, was just fucking me, man. I mean, I, I look at, I loved her. I loved her in the parameters of what we had. When we were together and we were fucking fooling around, I loved her,

like passionately. And then when I left, I was like glad I left. You know what I mean? Like I don't think we could have been together as a couple. I don't think we could have been there, you know what I mean? But when we were together, and then there was another girl, the same thing.

It was just like, like these people, we all went off to find who we were here and then there was another girl the same thing. It was just like, like, these people, we all went off to find who we were spoke compatible with and we could spend the whole day in month with and have kids with, but for that sex shit, whoosh. It's never the person you got you can spend all day with because you two are the fuckin' them.

It's one of the weird shit to a one-on-day. And they cool with it. If they cool with it, that's fucked up. If you're compatible with your chick, that's I think in the long run. It's better It's a better thing because it's it's it's it's it's it's last longer You know if you I mean yes sex is great sex is awesome, but in the long it goes away It dies and if you if you're with somebody who's fucking you you fucking eight when you're 65 or 70

Fuck that you're not gonna be I One of this is gonna die before but like in our 40s. That's what I'm hoping for me What one of my me I don't want to be Or is somebody I don't want to you'd rather die than not Because after wow, I mean we got to start fucking I like talking to her, but after wow like come on What I don't know I. Why? I don't know. I don't even know what you're saying. Shit, I don't give a like, I don't know. I figured what you're saying you'd rather be dead. One of us.

And then to not ever fucking like. So somebody can just fucking move on. I look out. Yeah, but I think being being compatible with somebody and being able to spend a long period of time with them, I think is fucking great. That is great.

I don't know. I mean, that's what most relationships are based on. Long lasting relations, not the sex. 60 fucking years. I can't imagine being 60 with another motherfucker really what are you gonna do? You can be alone. I don't know I fucking no male or fucking female and my family has made a pass 65 Are you kidding me? What my family 91 years old? Yeah, I got one rose family. No grandpa. I have no grandparents. Oh, they're just dead Yeah, I got one rose family no grandpa. I have no grandparents. Oh, they're just dead I got my grandpa either. Oh everybody's all dead mine. I'm not mine all made it to the hundred 90s

Yes, I don't even I can't comprehend being with 60 with somebody and it's like you think you're gonna die early I don't think so I You guys could actually change outfits You guys could actually change outfits. I don't know Way So the choice I'm worked out I'm not working my ass. I can't bail too But I don't know I don't know I never make it to see if I said about making the 70 I'm gonna do every and any drug I could possibly get my hands on because nobody my friends ever made the 70 I think I got a fucking and then he's fucking enemy in the chat room. Yeah, we have a bunch of things

And how come these fucks on calling they actually gave me reasons why they'd rather be in chat than not call what? What are the reasons? Their moms in the room. Yeah, then I get Eric says we'd rather hurl insult behind a keyboard their hurl insults behind a keyboard. G.E.C. That's fucking funny. That's very childish. But yeah, you know who that is. That's just some fucking asshole.

Why don't you have fucking son of a bitch call? Go ahead, who else? Justin Bans says it's intimidating to call into a room full of comics and scopo. What not? That guy's good. I like what he's doing on it behind a keyboard. That was a really good talk.

That was actually a really good talk. Yeah, but you're gonna even credit fucking deput to adding the timing to that joke. Yeah. You know what I mean? Stop stealing at the pussy, Red. Give me the pussy. Yeah, I'm going to give it to you in the show. I'm fucking looking at.

You're like a new ass kid. You're like, he's looking at the pussy and look at Lauren. You're gonna put it in the middle of the middle of the middle of the middle. But I was you guys. The last thing about that subject is, G.G. says, yeah, the last thing you guys need is one of us mouth breathers, fucking up the conversation.

You're going to be the conversational. You know, I want you guys, first of all, we need you to call because we have to test this whole system out. I'm ready. Definitely video. So why can't I go to bathroom and call for a grass one? No, no, no.

Did you turn it back up though? Yeah, yeah. Make sure you turn it back up though? Yeah, yeah. Make sure you turn it back up because you muted it. Maybe people are calling. Pusses, they'd be a pussy. We'd see it right there. Is it on? Yeah.

I want to test call it right now. Let's go, Po. Why don't you sign up a bitches in the chatroom call? We're going to make sure the shit works. Sounds like they're nervous though. Why? Why are they nervous? How the fuck do you mean in a fucking chat room and you can't even call live?

What are we gonna do? Just a generation. It's too much to talk anymore. Fucking Twitter, that's what the fuck. Twitter's the type of tweet. Tweet. Tweet policies. But back in the day you were the love you said, you said in the house, listen to talk radio,

I'm a call in. You remember the title? Can I say something though? Remember calling in to a radio show how nervous you get? Oh yeah, I would say I would actually fucking I would my throat Close I would always see the wrong radio station didn't hang out real fast. Oh Here we go. All right Shit, I gotta excited

Let me tell you some Skype made the best fucking ringtone ever anytime I I hear the Skype ringtone, I'm like, oh this is fuck what? It's very sexual. You know what, listen to me. You're gonna fucking be dirty or not, because you're annoying me now, all right? You're gonna fucking pull out a teddy or not. One, two, two, three, two, two, three.

What's the thing again, three, what? 983, 347, 983. 347, 983, YKWD, or YKWD podcast on Skype. Calling you fucks. I'm a look man Bobby's wall to see what I can trade in my pocket for C4. Dude I'm not a fucking flea market. Who you think I am?

We have a pawn shop and fucks your shit. You gotta bar to you for better free shit. You got a metro card back here. You need a metro car back You need a metro card Yeah, even the metro You'll go it was like in two days of when you see Reggie at this subway just wait for a swipe Oh, you do that Why no? Well, could you just call a microphone fix that microphone so I can hear him. Sorry

Why? No, well, because I have a microphone. Fix that microphone so I can hear them. Sorry. Oh, ah. Well, it's just a podcast. We'd like to get the audio, audio, audio, audio,

audio, I don't know how it's on this. Huh? What are you doing? I'm lowering it. I'm lowering it. That's actually good so we can see it's face. Oh, okay.

Hey. Thank you for fucking being a good producer. Thanks for the gift, man. I'm sorry. I'm talking to him. Oh, you're welcome. Go ahead. Well, you finally, I was mean sarcastic. I don't do that whole show. I was that? Yes. Really? It does tickle stop. Come on.

It gets you sparse. I felt like a little sparse. This is the dumbest podcast I've done. I'm deleting this second half. Come on, you fucking jackass. No, no, no, no, I don't I don't ask for swipes all the time. I've done it sometimes though Wow I'm not gonna be fucking I'm not even gonna be joking right that makes me sad. Yeah, why why is it making me sad because you fucking panhandling? Swipes Who the fuck ask for swipes? No, sometimes you sometimes, you know, because sometimes, like, I'll go in late, am I, my, my, uh, my car, no, expire, and then I have to wait for the train, cause I don't want to, so I want to swipe the next day, you know, get a whole seven day out of it, instead of getting

like, uh, odd day, like, I don't like when my pass ends on like a Tuesday. Buddy, it's $2. You're talking $2. Actually, three of these days. I, it's three, I of these days. I have three. I don't know. I have a car. I haven't met.

I pull up my iPhone. Let people know that I'm not like poor. Pull up my phone. What the fuck? That means you have to close the closure wearing. Don't give it away that you're not poor. Yeah, dude, you look like you're about to do something on the train for money. No, that's what you say what do you know let me get that sweat I it's not it's not that bad I mean I'm gonna get sweat I sweat me I sweat people all the

time do you yeah yeah I sweat you get yeah yeah yeah yeah so I expect people to sweat me back on you know why people let's go I don't get the train either oh old is privileged I wasx. I was with you I was with you and you this white. I do it really feel bad, dude I remember here's because I remember being that fucking, you know hungry back when I first moved here Dude, I used to I remember when I'd bought a chocolate pretzel and I forgot it was my only I thought I had a token back when they had tokens Oh, so and I thought I had a token, but I didn't I 150 for the train, I had to go to the train, I had to go to the train, I had to go to the train, I had to go to the train, I had to go to the train,

I had to go to the train, I had to go to the train, I had to go to the train, I had to go to the train, I had to go to the train, I had to go to the train, I had to go to the train, I had to go to the train, I had to go to the train, I had to go to the train, I had to go to the train, I had to go to the train, I had to go to the train, I had have, I guess, bagged like you. I know, I'm not walking, I don't know how many blocks that were. 97, it's almost, it's 97. I sat in it.

From here? Yeah, it's almost 100, yeah. You were, you know, you were sexy Bobby back then. You were springtime. Yeah, but it was still sad, man. I feel, I feel sad. Well, you have to walk 100 blocks of sand. Well, you walk 100 blocks of school.

Well, you have to because you have no money. You fill all that money. Yeah, but like you ate that popcorn the other night. Why did you take that popcorn out of the movie the other? Why don't you just get popcorn? I didn't want to get a whole bag of popcorn. But you ate a whole bag. No, I didn't eat that whole bag.

I ate half. It got slapped out of your hand. Yeah, it keeps slapping out my hand. That was pretty funny. It kinda hurt, too. Yeah, it hurt me. It knocked me down right out of the hand. I, he's slapped it. I'm a man. That was pretty funny. I kind of hurt too I heard me I was fucking laughing. Yeah, I picked up $25 that night. That was a good night on the floor in front of 40 fucking comedians Pain handling I had to say that I thought you got your job back. What happened? I got fired again. You got a job. Yeah, we talked about the remember I work with the kids with autism Yeah, yeah, man happen with that. How'd you get fired from that?

Yeah I'm not I'm not deleting that we You fight for that job again. No, I'm not a fine for it. Yeah, lateness. Lateness. That's it Really black same way read the two rays that working. Oh, that was me that was me Oh two ray I said the same reason why two rays not working late. Oh, I love I already got to sing No, that's not that's I don't want you to touch it me That's about not being funny. That's not about just being vicious. This isn't a vicious bandanna Yeah, shit, I feel bad dude. I feel bad, but I was there so I think that motivates you to do

Yeah, definitely motivates me because now like I I'm getting my rent, but now I write out my days like exactly what I'm gonna do I still get up at the same time right and. And fucking, I'd be out at a house by 12 and find something to do. You know if I'm sitting in a cafe eating fucking, drinking coffee, but it's definitely motivating though, but it's scary as shit. Yeah, it is scary, but that fear I think motivates you to,

you know, either quit and go get a job or go work harder and become funnier or take a risk, you know, go say hi to somebody who wouldn't know for getting a gig you might not wanna do, and then it turns out all right. Or, you know, host of a podcast and give me a job and you need an assistant or something. A pod? Do you say a pod?

I feel so sorry for you. I think I will take that picture with you, and I think you could use it. Oh really? He's on that Ploctopussy too. I'll tell you. You wanted to site jerk off to fucking handwriting Are you got a good you have a girlfriend?

That's the black of the ends I heard you say Do you do you help him out at all? He don't think for some reason he's seeing my wife, my wife look better than most of the bitches, but he don't think I know how to talk to women for some reason. No, he has to have them money. Money? I'm talking about giving him money. I'm broke in shit too. I'm about to move into a fucking house. I'm about to buy a gun. I'm a fucking dirty city. I'm gonna save every dime. How broke is that you're buying a condom? My wife's a nurse. That's why I'm fucking fuck the right chasing. He married

I'm mad like a motherfucker now, but now we are like the fellow guys we all stick together when I'm moving though We me my wife already said he's can move with us. You can live with them. Yeah Look how happy he's Tim That was living a conversation because I get silly moving. I think red flag or moving I was pretty, you, you know, right now I'm cool. But after this month. Woo!

It's gonna be ugly. I'll be available, Bobby. We talking January, in January, come, I don't come after. Me and my wife, we literally have everything so I'm just buying a full time for the living room because I've been fucking crashing there for four years. No way, I'm not gonna let him fucking stay in my house.

After him, nobody else though. If he fucks my wife and my killer So Dini But it's fair it is so she that dick though she always do help each other out man I mean, I definitely people say especially in New York City. I think I can't I think LA to I guess but and Especially that's why I love you Philly guys is that you guys really look out for each other you guys do You guys do what we did coming up, you know, I mean if I if I didn't have you know You know and

It's a getting your friends right? No, no, I'm just trying to think the ones that help me I got You're forgetting your friends right now? No, no. I'm just trying to think the ones that helped me. I got burnt. I got a dainty. I got a burnt, yeah. The trees didn't give me shit. The trees never fucking put me in anything. Like I remember Collins, he was like, you're

like a TV show and I was like, what the fuck? He's like, you got shit, Bobby, you're good. And I was like, okay, I was like, no. And it's hard to argue that when you're getting shit and everybody else is into this one guy who's putting everything in it. He's been one of my best friends, and he would never put me in shit.

Like, we never did, he never like did shit together. Cause you know, you're gonna be good. Like, you know, like, some motherfuckers in the group, you know, they're idiots. They don't have, they, they're fucking dumb. I'm pointing at some. I'm not pointing at him. No, I'm pointing at Reggie.

Look at it, but some people would just date creation. They, some people create shit, some people would fucking have to gotta put them in shit. It's not bad, it's, it's playing that magic. Look at it, but some people just they create shit. Some people create shit, some people fucking after you got to put them in shit. It's not bad. It's what it is. We're going to win, baby. Yeah, no matter what, it's teething. I come out here to lose, Bobby. You know what I'm saying? He's watching me.

He's watching me. He's watching me. I'm going to watch me. He come out. I can do it. We have to be there. We have to be there. We have to be there.

I don't think we got those headphones that match your hat We all get that sound They heard a creed they heard an air hole but creed creed. I'll tell you this movie. I'll tell you the movies in order ready creed Um, I would say This gonna sound stupid the movie joy Did you cry with a joy a little bit? I'm out of no push not you fucking sissy Mad I get mad I get mad at movies like joy because they they break the people and you get they break people Yeah, people get broken like in life

I've been broken a bunch of times and in those movies they keep getting fucked by people Mm-hmm, and it makes I'm like I'm I get to the point where I'm like I'm dumb watching this life sucks enough I don't need to watch a movie and feel like shit for some lady The blue did that to me, but at the end it actually Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah He doesn't want to fucking Oscar. This guy is gonna commit suicide. I already did some crazy shit for that movie. Like he was drinking his piss and everything. Cause he wants to fucking win an Oscar, right? Yeah, to get my character. All the day shots, when they were outside, there was no extra lighting for any of the scenes.

It was all just natural light. He looks like an epic model. Why do I want to throw something at it? Scobo's head for facts. I just thought it was great. It was such a fucking good movie. How are you trying to, oh, but you do a movie podcast coming? Oh my god movies with scope Well, you know like Star Wars

I was gonna put Star Wars next I was gonna put Star Wars next. I think Star Wars was phenomenal I felt like I felt like Cree's us sucked What's your reason? What's your reason? Okay, the lighting was bad hang on hang on a stop. Go ahead the second fight He's fighting for the fucking title. There's no way on earth No, I'm not exactly hang on a second. No the Rocky went from fighting under Yes, but he was fighting for the title. Yes, but he was a fighter and they just plucked them out No, he and he got it but the whole the whole point of the room the sock of the whole point is no way

He would last I would he wouldn't let I just say so they would have stopped the fight with his eye going to fuck No, okay, they do first. Well, he lost but secondly in boxing They always try to find a new shitty guy who's not really ready, but looks good to fight the fucking champ He already got knocked out in the second round Okay, also this ready? Do you remember? Do you remember the he comes in and he knocks out the guy in a second When he wants to Apollo Creed's Trainers Jim then he goes and he learns the paddles then he learns the paddles He can't fucking do the paddles right away yet. He can knock out a content

You have to learn you have to learn It was you know that it wasn't in time right it wasn't like relevant or whatever Fucking it wasn't shot with natural Up on like it really they took you are you feel it? I come like that's black guy Fucking do it, fucking had to build up you to learn No and then the motor psycho gang no fuck that No, that's what the motor is

It was fucking do the thing is it was true as a what Philly is now Chris say to where I'm sorry. I'm about to slap shot as my fucking So I'm sorry to my fuck I hear you're talking about a Italian kid from Queens You know you really you're taking the only thing they got You're taking it. Yeah, you're taking their fucking only thing and now Yeah, he's taking their fucking only thing and now no one is no one is strong as rock They switched it over to fucking a black dude. No, I know Rocky is the Bayon bleeder from Jersey That's what it is. It's all Jersey at the end of what the fuck are you talking about? The true story of Rocky is about the guy from Bayon. Yeah, Rocky is a character though. No, he Sylvester so on stole it off of the the

he didn't steal it now he still he's so in the the hominalee for this guy went to distance with the hominalee and he got the idea of the road screenplay but the whole point is the bayon blader gets no credit for any of it is the trooper a

no and we do we do cheese take some punches to the face. That's what the fuck fully do I'll you guys don't talk right either We do what we do listen. Here's a deal. What's that Rocky was phenomenal? Yes, they finally like star wars. They came back to the original Essence of what that why that film was good and Creed I think they did that they Rocky Rocky was great

What motherfuckin I don't know especially someone's amazing in it. Oh, yeah, yeah, right. That's right. He was great He was good too. Here's what sucked about the Creed that dumb deaf chick. She did stink She was I hate when she got pissed off that he found out I'm a hollow Creed son But she was just like Adrian you kind of hated Adrian. She was kind of a But Adrian was dumb man. She was kind of slow. She was picking up big bags of dog food She was singing horseshit she could fusion. She couldn't hear yeah, but she yeah, but she couldn't hear that She's not done. Yeah, she did say that enough for you. Dude. She was in a fusion a room in a building with lights going And all these fucking hipsters going yeah, and then you're talking about Creed son guy was in Juvee walked in had to listen to that

Oh shit No, you're good. He turned off her air piece when they were arguing She turned off her air piece when they were arguing or the door was yelling to the door, she turned it off. She did stink. All right, all right, all right. Yeah, I don't believe this. Yeah, that caused me kid abortion. Oh, yeah.

She's trying to say John, and she said John? Oh, that's the same. Yeah, like like, you don't give a... She was trying to use Philly Slang, and it was wrong. Oh, that was pissing me off. I'm like bitch, you're saying it wrong. It's the Michael B. Jordan, who was from Jersey, said it completely right.

Yeah, why the fuck did she have to why the who wrote it Why does she have to be a singer? Why couldn't she work with kids like you? Why couldn't she work with little kids? That would have been good. Yeah, like like Adrian working a little fucked up puppies and turtles She could have been working like kids and autism Well anything dude fuck her. She had hopes and dreams. It's like you know she would have been mad What about her gig on Thursday? She's really gonna go watch him fight I got it. I got to open my songstress open part two day maker fully deaf

You blocked away you fight for love Let's wrap this shit up. Fuck you for knock on. You're the worst. You're the worst. Charram, you're the fucking worst, man. You really are. You fucking cat.

There's a little gunshy, man. Oh, fucking stop it. You're not going to, you say the mean shit in the world. You fucking typing clock suckers. Can you just call against what we get at noise? Yeah, just, just, yeah, just something you just call against him again at noise? Yeah, just something just call and hang up so we can hear the noise before we go What do you got buddy? I got a Twitter and Instagram?

Jesus, I know you don't got a fucking bank account Let's see what happens All right What's what's up man Hello, oh god I regret every second Hello You call him for a hang-up I regret every second. Hello Fuck Here's he is happy Doug a bit bone is that daffy duck a Donald duck. Hello, Donald

What are you doing? What the fuck are you doing? No one's been ringing so I thought hey? Hey, what's up? There you are man. We couldn't hear you. Hello, can you hear me? Yeah, we can hear you from, man. You have an interesting accent. Hmm. Are you, are you, are you a fagin', who is this? Oh, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, was call back whatever was he from Ireland what was that I don't like it I like when people from other countries listen yeah makes me happy what's that what do you got oh Twitter Instagram RGG conquest Reggie Conquest all right what do you got oh if you see if you see him at a asking for a swipe give me

a swipe always get twice Bobby give me my pocket pussy. I'll give it to you at the end of the show you get it Okay, what do you got? All right, so forget to the city County pocket. Oh, here we go William are you there? Can you hear? Hello, is anyone there? Yes, we're here. We're here. Hey William. Hello.

Can you hear us? Hello, can you hear us? Oh, it's someone else calling. Can you hear us? Can you hear us? Yeah, this is guy. I did. Hello. You know what?

Yeah. Where are you? I'm here. What the fuck? I got to like it. I got to like it. I just want to say stuff and hang up. That's okay.

We'll see what happens. It's pretty tame. Sino City Comedy Podcast. Yeah, you guys, man. I really, I do love the youth. I love it. I love it. I love it.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I just want to say stuff and hang up. That's pretty tame. Senate City Comedy Podcast. Yeah, you guys, man. I really do love that you guys look up for each other. It really makes me happy. We all did the same shit. I love that you guys are doing. I just hope one of you makes it. I thought one of you'd make it by now. It takes time. Well, not this long. I'm kidding. Wait, how long do you take you?

You're a make it. I'm fucking still having you. I just give you a pocket pussy. No. He told you he didn't. Sorry about that, but. He told you you needed a fucking metro card. He could do nothing to help you.

Like, that's he didn't make it yet. I'm a little... I'm a little... the fucking metro card he could do nothing to help you like that he didn't make it yet I made it I made it I'm on a TV show I know that's pretty good A couple of them I say no I have a house

I'm convinced he is happy I'm worth a hundred thousand dollars Alright man what do I got to go but what dates Oh we do a prisoner I thought we got to go Where did he get to go? You didn't do it though Sun City County Park has also a wrist scope of what dates we do uh... since the county park as also

but uh... gavin again a show i'd be i'd be on i think uh... are you on a show like regularly yeah i'm i do a his show every thursday and i'm also still a artist park as uh... artichord park as i'm also regular how's already doing then it's okay yeah i love already i i love artich

and and gavin so that's it that's called the year on a show already doing man. It's not okay. Yeah, I love already. Everybody loves already. And Gavin, that's cool that you're on a show. Yeah, that is fun man. I like it. I like it. I go in there we talk social economics and goofy shit. Woo! Yeah, sometimes.

He was on the show one time, really. And that's when we met on your show. We met on your show. Yeah, we fucking started working on that. Let's see what happens. Hello. Hello. Hey, this is Toddle Hey, Kyle. How you doing? Welcome to the YKWD podcast. You're talking with me and the crew. I'm on the watch the body. But the reason why everybody scared, the reason why everybody scared the call is years ago, whenever you did this, it was a cluster fuck and everybody's a good shot we're scared to try man.

I think you're doing a fine job right now. I don't think that you should be scared of anything. We just want if you listen to the show. By these holding back I can see it on your face. You put a shirt on your face. Dude don't you wanna shoot this accent? Come on. By your beware he is ready to shoot on you like a champ.

Can you talk if you're just loading up?'m gonna get in his accent. Come on. Fire beware, he is ready to shoot all you like a champ. Keep talking, he's just loading up. I see the news. Listen, you fucking truck driving. That's not good. Have something to snob, get it. This is, and now I'm interested now. Did you listen to the whole show tonight? Yeah, yeah, listen.

Now, Yannis Poppiss and Monroe had to leave, right? Did that make you happy or sad? uh... yana's poppies and monello had to leave right did that make you happy or sad well as long as i want to get everybody to be honest everything good i could what do you think of lawren do you like her yeah one of the cool i like her uh... sexy Kelly yeah

you're in for a what's that you can do it and talk to more recalling You're really good. You're good. All right. What's that? He's into it. Talk to him more. Hey baby. Where you calling from? Hey. I'm calling from Texas. Mm-hmm.

Oh, come on. That's a long way. That's a long way. You want? Do you want me to teach you how to talk sexy again? All right. Here you go. I'm going to teach you how to talk sexy to you.

Hey, what's your name? You're into the fucking question. What's your name? It's a fucking question. What's your name, big boy? My name's Kyle. Hey, Kyle. Kyle, can you do me a favor and take those pants, those tight wranglers and undo that. Big fucking bodacious bout buckle you got from riding. Bum. And pull down your ankles and let that fucking big white helmet cock flop out

I felt the new bonding I'm actually too good at that I think I am really I should just do phone sex for gay men Actually, too good at that. I think across the world is like, Dammit, if you need money. I am really, I should just do follow the sex for gay men. I do, thank you for calling. You guys, don't be afraid to call. We got a video now if anybody wants to,

I wish he was girls, man. God dammit, I wish this podcast had women listening. We can all get set up those buffalo chicks to call in next time. That sounds horrible. Buffalo chicks. Those are the only girls I know Listening we can all get set up those buffalo chicks to call in next time The only girls I know was to show that I could have those wing eating bitches call I love those girls we get out they could absolutely call it I'm talking about some chick that might have a titty out those girls are respectable Fuckin listeners of the show. I'm talking to grow listen to the show and might want to you know do some you know some

Some some some stuff I got you You have to refer to it as some stuff. I don't think I was on the I was on the league in the skanks But the hoodie I get right now to which I love Here we go check that out fucking head I was on this show they had a guy call up to fucking My dad sorry The you know the fucking one of the producers of the show fucks it up. What's that?

They had um they had a guy jerk off on fucking Skype video Skype why for a hoodie Nice, I don't know if I respect them or I fucking lose it. The guy in the hoodie got a came. And he was half hard. Oh dude. It was not little hard. And he jizzed it was like fucking rape jizz. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Yeah, but at the end by accident when he went to go wipe his dick off and grab the towel, he just dumb-a-headed popped into the fucking thing. Oh my gosh. Did they show the gizz? Yeah, the gizz. I think it's illegal, right? Well, it's not YouTube friendly, but, you know.

Oh, I don't think it's friendly at all. Anyways, all right. Well, listen, this is it. I'm just random. Like, fuck off. I'm sorry. You guys, thank you so much. Read these dates for me.

You wanna read the dates right now? Me and Bobby are being uh... me and bobby obi and uh... what is that bananas yes on our camera january eight night bananas hasbro kites get your tickets to go to bobby's website to get those tickets i love this club by the way all your jersey fans

we're gonna jersey and i have to work all right yeah will go to a don to get some disco here we go. Oh, William Shamrock. Hello. Hello? Hi, how are you? Hi, Bobby.

Hi, buddy. How are you? It's William here from the one I called in first. I couldn't hear you. Hey, William. Where are you from, William? From Wales, UK? Oh, fucking, hey, man. I love it. I love I love the UK I do I love you say love whales. I love you. There was a fact joke You look at him take a look at the kid hey man. What's up?

Hi, buddy. How you doing? Where is a of young guy? What do you mean cool faces? I don't know and try to make cool faces Do you want a hoodie? You want it you want to lead you to Skank hoodie the one I'm wearing How old are you man? I'm 23 so nice. Oh, old are you, man? I'm 23, so quite old. Nice, awesome, man. What time is it over there? It is 4.39 in the morning.

Wow. How come all you British people have to have that fucking, your flag on a blanket or a pillow? They're going to wear it. Or a T-shirt. It just do. What do you do bro I'm IT support at media company oh shit man that's fucking you couldn't get your sky working right yeah

Reggie needs a job because you hire Reggie needs a job can we send Reggie over to England you get a nice one can we and read and he knows comedy. William, are you on Twitter? Are you on Twitter? Yeah. Can you tweet and say I'm the funniest comic you've ever seen? Ever? Yeah, sure.

That was a great the internet. Fucking actually didn't want that to happen. I, but you got any questions? You just just call and say what's up, man? I Just wanted to say I love the show. You know I watched since the beginning since Joe D'Rosa, so yeah, I've just thought hey say hi. Thanks for the good episodes of being having recently I really like it and keep up. Hey buddy. I really appreciate it man. Thanks for listening for that long and Calling again, man. All right. Well fucking let us know you anything to say You know just call it. I appreciate it man, all right

Brilliant. All right, you two man. Cheers. Cheers, mate. Cheers, mate I will everybody what a nice guy man. Who else we got somebody else, right? Answer that shit. It's getting crazy now. What's up, man? Answer that shit. It's getting crazy now. What's up, man? Yo, what's up? What's up? Oh, what's up, dude? You're on the sheet. Yeah, you're on fucking Bobby Kelly. You're on the My god, that sounds like fucking my cousin What's up what's up

are you being fucking serious right now i'm scrolling through my twitter thirty eight minutes ago it says skype me just on a whim i'm like i know what fucking i'm gonna put in this number and i'm gonna call it in you try to tell me i actually got on are you fucking kidding me? you're having a heart attack right now yeah you just following William from the UK what's up

that's incredible yeah do we have a word where i don't know what to say i don't even know what to say right now i'm happy with that i'm such a huge i'm such a huge pocket fan years i got to tell you i went up uh... in illinois it was in or illinois i believe it was you did a show

with daincook yeah way that it was it was probably maybe five six years ago I actually started on Facebook today They'll say you know that yeah, they pushed those things six years ago today. I was thin and gorgeous Dude, that's that's incredible man because who was the guy that that was the already open out of El Benny That guy he was really funny, and I got to be honest with you i had never heard i had never heard of robber kelly at the time right everybody kept talking about bobby kelly and when you came up you were so fucking funny dude

i thought you were probably the best act that night i was like that guy is incredible thank you not believe that so it was so incredible when you went i think you said you told that joke about where you were standing front of the woman with the baby in a Stroller yeah, you farted and it looked like the baby was fighting fist fighting goes. Yeah, I've never forgotten that That was a pretty good Dude I really don't tell you five stories in a row I

Appreciate that thank you for saying I mean Dane has a fucking mansion on the hills and my heat went out tonight. But, uh, he's driving a Lambo and I have a Honda pilot with the steering wheel pulls to the left. But thank you, brother. I remember those that show is actually a fucking great tour talking about arena tours that motherfucker whoo that that tour is crazy yeah that was that was crazy what's that so okay so coming from somebody that's done like a lot of different places yes what when you do a show what what kind of place do you prefer do you prefer the big big places like that or do you prefer the smaller the smaller shows i i i love the small i love the comedy clubs to love two hundred three hundred people that's it

you know i mean good to get me wrong if if i could suddenly fill an arena i would do it but i would only do it for the money and anybody who's doing it on arena there the only reason they're doing is for the money it's a i don't care who you are if you're doing an arena you're doing it to get that money and to play that many people because first of all the people up in the back don't hear the show they don't experience

comedy is two hundred people less man it's jazz you get it you know you have moments in breath and face and blah blah blah and you know you the guy in the back row can't fuck her, you can't watch a Trinitron and fucking and be in the moment, you know, so I mean, I think it's an epic, that being said, I think seeing a comedian in an arena is an epic event and you should do it because it's just an amazing experience

to see a comic that you love in 20,000 people. But if you really to see that guy, go see him in the 2000's, see it, or a 1500 or a small club, come to the cellar and watch a guy really work, that's the shit. And you know, that was the first time that I had ever been to the Big Arena to see a show. And then me and my girlfriend,

we took a trip up to Chicago. I'm fromcele annoyed to say it's about five hours south of chicago so we took the train up to chicago one weekend and uh... she surprised me with a uh... uh... uh... uh... a show to go see chrisifer tightest yeah and chicago and it was a little bitty smaller place and and it was such a you know obviously a different field because it was you know the first of all like the ceiling i don't know what it is about the ceiling being lower, you know, and some of them where they have like the high feelings But it was just it was so up close and it was so, you know, such a more personal show. Yeah, the ceiling is a low ceiling for a comedy club is You can hear the laughs. Yeah, when the high it's just, you know, it'sics. When you have a fucking place that they sing music in and it goes up into the fucking ceiling,

you can't hear the laughs. But when you do a shitty comedy club, you can touch the ceiling, the laughs smack you in the face. So if you ever in New York City, come and land it. Don't go down. Very low sitting. Very low sitting. Very low sitting.

There's eight Saturdays. Come see me and Reggie. You won't go down. Very low sitting. You won't get smacks in the face there for sure. Yeah, yeah, actually I really do. If you ever come to New York City, you should go to the lantern, you should go to the comedy cell, you should go to the stand, you should go to all these clubs and see these guys working in all these different venues, because then you really understand comedy. When a guy's in front of fucking ten people

in some small little square space in the basement of a bar and he's making them laugh, that's a pretty amazing fucking thing to see. You know what I mean? Absolutely. I do say that. All right, man. Well, thank you for calling in, brother. Well, hey, you know what, I'm blown away that you even answered the phone. I've had like three blown away that you've been into the phone about how i've had like three panic attacks and i've been on the phone i've been able to keep it together do you know one of the best phone calls ever on a podcast i think it was fantastic right well i appreciate it man i

really do appreciate i'll say the summer maybe i'll try it again who knows maybe we'll talk again so yeah come back to it absolutely call back follow the white kwd podcast twitter and then we'll tweet it out from there Hey, I'm already a subscriber to the podcast. I love it. All right buddy. Thanks a lot, man We'll talk to you later. Yeah, we'll talk to you later guys Lawrence as she loves you boo Love you too, baby I love her too. All right, um, that was a good show now. I feel better I feel bad. Thank God the call is fixed your fucking debacle

You're fucking whatever the fuck you're talking about Reggie's homeless. I'm getting I felt that your homeless you're getting two condos because you're an idiot All right guys, thank you so much. Did you read the dates? You're gonna all right? In the middle let's go quick before somebody else calls January 14 15 16 there at comics 16th, they're at Comics, Mill Higgins Sun, January 21st, 22nd, 23rd, and 24th, you're at the Off the Hook Comedy Club in Naples, Florida.

That's gonna be a great gig, man. Fuck, love that gig. 29th, 30th, 31st, Macherdy's Comedy Club in Sarasota, Florida. Yep, the next week, yeah. So go to robacodelive.com for everything, me, and if you're a comedy club and you're using my old photo, for the fucking love of Yeah, so go to robberkillelive.com for everything me. And if you're a comedy club and you're using my old photo, for the fucking love of God stop. We send you the brand new headshots.

What's the girl's name that took them? Mindy. Mindy Tucker took the most amazing shots. She got new Bobby. She got new Bobby, but made him new Bobby like presentable Bobby Mindy Tucker if you need head shots you go fucking see her. She's the best I want to thank all you guys deep. What do you got buddy? Couple things. I'm trying I'm blanking right now. First of all, are to deep who across the board? I do Interesting stuff in my twitch channel all the time so you can check that out Also January 29th. I'm hosting a show in Park Slope. What are you two whispering about? We're not what you can tell people. Stop the fucking

guys fucking doing this thing and I can't even see that we're doing. Well I can see you distracting me. I get distracted easy. I've ADD. Sorry Depot. I'm like I'm smiles. Oh that happening is a piece of bop y'all. Just the one gate January 29th Park Slope. I don't have the exact location, but on my Twitter you'll see the pizza box place No, it's my friends bar. He's letting us run a little show there awesome What do you got baby at Lauren Kubair Twitter Instagram? Oh, great. What do you got that Chris Cope on Twitter? Instagram all right guys follow the podcast subscribe to the YouTube channel and tell your friends about us.

Thanks for hanging with us tonight. It's been a crazy one, but we hope you enjoyed it. We hope we made you laugh and you guys are the best fans of the world. You know what, sir? The YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free.

And they're all free. Sharks. Sharks. Sharks. You