Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Cipha Sounds and Rebecca Trent "I've Only Seen One"

Episode Date: March 22, 2021

This week Cipha Sounds and Rebecca Trent come on with Bobby to talk about the Texas comedy migration, living in the comedy celebrity quarantine bubbles and the Creek and the Cave's move from Long Island City to Austin, TX! SUBSCRIBE TO YKWD https://www.patreon.com/robertkelly https://thelaughbutton.podlink.to/YKWD​ http://www.ykwdpodcast.com FOLLOW YKWD http://www.twitter.com/YKWDpodcast http://www.instagram.com/ykwdudepodcast http://www.facebook.com/YkwdPodcast FOLLOW ROBERT KELLY http://www.twitter.com/robertkelly http://www.instagram.com/robertkellylive http://www.facebook.com/robertkellylive New episodes arrive every Sunday via The Laugh Button For advertising opportunities email: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta, ¿dónde viene? Si no, ¿por qué no te viene? Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos lia. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos.

Encuentra los bares de Madrid la Dición Especial de Madrid nos lia. Un humenaje de mao, a Madrid. ¿Sueñas con un futuro más allá de los estudios de grado? Gracias a las becas de posgrado en el extranjero, de la Fundación La Caixa, puedes estudiar en las mejores universidades y centros de investigación del mundo. Tu talento te mueve. Solicitate a tu beca en fundación lacaisa.org Buscas contenido gratis. Bluetooth TV es el servicio de streaming gratuito con series como South Park o sensación

de vivir. Descarga ya la aplicación en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. these back again. Hope's rolling back in the day. We're all starting to be one of all. I'm the only one who can't die. I can't stand so fun and crazy. And as a rule, you're ruining this. We're the more bad of a man. I'm sorry. It's not any podcast. This is an NPR. That's what the Tucket does.

Is there any better show? This need reaches a critical point. and the awkward silence until we fucking come on what's up fuckers you know what he's back his face looks a little chubby and then when he got back from vacation that's right because I fucking I've been I gotta get back on my diet I'm a sneak a little chubby than when he got back from vacation. That's right. Because I fucking, I've been, I gotta get back on my diet. I'm as sneaking little tricks, little treats. Oh, little treats.

Oh my God, Gabby's here. We got a sound. Oh, when you, when you gave that description of chubby face, I thought you were talking about me. No. Ha, ha. We got Rebecca Trent, the owner, operator, and the fucking awesome person of the Creek. And the cave now in Austin, Texas, yeah, which is crazy. And of course, we got the mush, Mike Suarez, producing this whole thing. Hi, Moshi. Oh, yes, this is a Swaras. Swaras. Yeah,

you know, I knew it was a wreck. Oh, it's Mexican. Your Puerto Rican. Yeah, but that's my ex girlfriend's name. Swaras. I just got a ton of fucking flashbacks.

Oh, that was my mom. This is a reunion. She misses you. She's upset. She's calling. That'd be funny if it's a sciipher had a fetish for middle-aged Mexican women white women I like a chick with a bad foot I like a bun, you know, my bitch. Listen, so yes, I am fucking struggling with weight yet again. Motherfucker, I came home the other night.

My wife comes in. It's late night. We had dinner. The kids asleep. I said, Kevin, a little snack. She comes in a bag of nuts with dried apples, little tiny chocolate, like four little nuggets, four chocolate nuggets hidden inside. You got to get through the almonds to get to them, right?

Right. Get through the dried apple, little mango. I get to it, she goes to bed. I wait around 20 minutes because Dawn, my wife is the fucking Sherlock Holmes of fat CSI-ing what I had when I ate it. I'm like, bitch, wake up in the middle of the night. Like, what are you eating?

And I'm like, there's a bag of chips in the other room in the pantry. And this is what a fat fuck, I'm a fat criminal. I figured out, if I grabbed the bag, she's gonna wake up. I went in with the parasizzas and I cut the top. I cut the top off. Her self-sale path. I cut the top off made no it was like a fat silencer. Yeah. I cut the top off and then I took one chip. I put

it in my mouth and it was the one of those fucking Cape Cod chips. I had I let it melt. I wet it. I let it get wet until I put and then I can mush it with my tongue and I ate 14 chips took me 22 minutes. What the hell is going on? I'm a fucking, I'm an addict. No, I'm on the same way. I'm on a bender right now. I'm on like a like a like a three and a half week bender right now. It's disgusting. Yeah, but here's the thing though, I feel bad for me, but I'm a comic, so you're a comic, but you're in hip hop too. So the clothes that you have to wear,

don't make them in my size. There's no fucking bathing ape jeans. No, definitely not. Right? No, because I moved, I moved up to the suburbs and the drive-thrues are like, there's like 20 of them on the way home. Like, I'm like, all right, while I'll do McDonald's tonight, tomorrow I'm gonna do the Wendy's on that late night. I got to do the white castle, you know, the white castle. Can I ask you a question? I might be wrong. This might be a conspiracy. We're beck a year out in Austin. I mean, I don't know where you moved to out of the city. No,

Sy if you moved outside, where'd you move to? Rocklin. Rocklin' County, okay. And Wendy's is fucking packed every second of the day now. And I don't know why. Yes. Why? It's like, for a pandemic. It's supposedly amazing. Yes, but I, but I, I, I, I, I, I, the, the line that Wendy's is much longer,

the drive-through line is much longer. It's nuts, like it happened one day, the pandemic happened and then I was like, okay, the light get it, but it's been, you drive by there right now, there's a fucking line at last and Wendy's. And I know in all the places, more than the other spots, you're right.

Oh yeah, more stuff. Yeah. People feel like it's healthier than the other first food too all that I think so I think Is it and some broccoli maybe because it's like named after a woman and people are trying to be feminist about it. Oh god damn it. There you are. Okay, it's snaking her woke or shit in Oh, she wanted those white wokey's woke whitey's ah yeah You are you fucking trying to get me to come to you.

You played to you. Yeah. The first day she's like, you're a sign this. I'm like, what is it? Just sign it. She, I'm like, uh, I go, what is it? Defund the police. Go fuck yourself.

I can sign it now. How come Boston you motherfucker? What are you signing that? I got a bunch over the next to me. I got a firefighter. I got every, I'm in the middle of these guys. I'll be fucking murdered on this block. I was trying to trick you and I did a plot over the next to me. I got a firefighter. I got every I'm in the middle of these guys. I'll be fucking murdered on this block. I was trying to trick you and I did a lot of do I'm Gabby? I know. I should have been like that 100 strippers to your house tomorrow if you sign this. Yeah, and then a month later she's like I got to move. Why? It's too dangerous here. Yeah, because you sign that stupid thing. Yeah, it's all.

That's not quite. What do you say, Mike? I'm going to say it again, even though I know what's going to happen is you should have said it wasn't thing to make chips quieter. I'm not into it. I really didn't hear that time. You said a bit. Oh, man. I would say if here's a thing with you that Rebecca you've been the same since I met you You've never went up but down you're just the same weight all the time Gabby same thing 20 pounds well, yeah, that's that's fucking I Am legitimately two obese people I am legitimately two obese people. I got the vaccine.

I'm not with some skill sets. Like, I literally still think about those meatloaf sandwiches that we ate in Montreal. Oh, yeah, but get on. This is okay. We were amazing. You remember those? We didn't even hold it against them. It was amazing. Here's the deal. This is what a We were amazing. Remember those Williams. We didn't even hold it against them. It was it was amazing

Here's the deal. This is what a fat fuck. I am I am in Montreal There's a all the trucks. I find a place that has a meatloaf sandwich That is too die for it had a It was on the toast toasted and it was buttered toast, me little sandwich with a, what do you call that little jam? What are those called? Like a rumolade. No, no, it's not a rumolade.

A rumolade. What's the other one? The jelly. A jelly. No, I dotted jelly. A chutney. Fucking chutney. Oh, a chutney.

A chutney. Like a savory jam. Yeah, it was a tasty jammy. It had a chutney. A chutney. Like a savory jam. Yeah, it was an ex-example. A chutney that they went on it. Okay, this is how, what a fat fuck I am. Within two days, I've sent over 100 people to them. They had my name on the truck with a photo. I got three sandwiches and they gave me a jar of chutney

to take back to the U.S. I'm so happy. The next year, they had a brick and mortar building three sandwiches and they gave me a jar of chutney to take back to the U.S. The next year they had a brick and mortar building because of me. Oh, I saw that there was a plaque that said Robert Kelly. That fucking that me low sandwich. It's off the fucking chart dude. That me low sandwich dude about all the time. It's off the fucking chart dude. That me low sandwich. I ate a gala. I snuck over and got one before the gala.

I couldn't even put my shoes on. My fucking facility and was so bad at me. Oh, good. I'm under my head. I could not tell you what the name of that fucking food truck is. Oh, yeah, because it was one um, it was one of those French was yours, yours, yours, yours, you know, instead of naming it the sandwich truck or the best mom of meatloaf, they named it

Jungbongongo, whatever. Oh, this is my mother hang on, guys. Oh, yeah. Okay, mom, she doesn't listen. Hi. You're on the podcast right now. Oh, my god. Why do I not keep track of what I call?

What do you, how do you even know what that means? Everything okay? Everything's fine. I'm in bed with Hooper. Who the fuck is Hooper? Oh, Jesus, I thought you met a stuntman. You're not going to get super shot. I know. met a stunt man. My mother's bed is so high off the ground. No, no, no, no, no, no, I'm in the Andrews house, but his bed is high too.

Okay. Yeah. My mother has some reason has this thing for seven foot tall beds. Like Max stays over and sleeps in the beveler. We're panicking the whole time he's going to break his arm. A lot of bed. Yeah, I do not like nobody likes not because I was 16 something so it wasn't high to him. Oh, okay, so what are you saying? Nothing. He just didn't give me a hand and pull me in.

He wasn't gonna do anything about it. I don't get into that. I don't want you to give it back. Is everybody okay? Everybody's wonderful. All right, you're just calling to say hi. I just miss here in your voice. So, you know, I could listen to you if I can't start. I can call and bug it. All right, well listen, I know this that usually we start out positive but by the end someone has

a someone's you know has a varicose vein of pop. No nothing's happened to anyone lately I don't... Okay knock on wood here we go. Yeah knock on it a hundred times will you? All right okay. All right call me when you can I love you I'll be here tomorrow night too. All right are you on when you can. I love you. I'll be here tomorrow night too. All right, on the show,

you want to, what do you want to be a regular? Get out of here. It's not happening. No, I'm not. I'm not making sure I'm home for. I just think care who, well, you stuck, the dog. Say the dog.

You move closer to me. I'll take care of Doodle's too. I can't move close. You would try to get me to move back to Boston for 30 years, my. I can't move close you would try to get me to move back to Boston for 30 years my I can't move back Why oh He has a low on quote career Who got who got who bill who?

Unquote career. He got a spank. Who got who got who bill who? Bill Bill Bear bill Burr what happened to him? Oh with the thing Yeah, they might not let me tell you what happened to Bill absolutely nothing I know we get spanked on He got spanked by 400 assholes and he's a multi-millionaire has millions of fans Nothing happened to him. That's the best part about being a comedian.

You can't get canceled. I love the phrase. I have been a wavy. Huh, unless you take pictures of a 17 year old. You can take pictures. Not ham moves somebody else. Let's not get into it. I'll call you tomorrow.

I'll bring you back. Leo brings one of my favorites. Who do you feel? Louis CK. I know you love Louis, don't you? I do I know you don't care. What was it? What did you say to me when I said the whole thing when the the girls masturbating? What did you say? Nothing they didn't they didn't have to go there I Know what was going on. They could have just turned around. I pretty sure you you said, you know how many dicks I saw, I didn't want to say. I didn't say that, I've only seen one. Mama, are you out of your mind?

That's right, I can't get out of that one. You were married three times. I never had a family and I didn't consummate that marriage. I wouldn't have cheated on Mary. You wouldn't have a five year, you didn't have a six-year-old. No. You cheat. have a five year, you didn't have sex with five years. No.

You cheat. What? I know her. I saw you one time. No, you didn't. Don't get mad. What? You remember the time you caught me masturbating?

Yes, I do. Oh, Jesus Christ, you remember that, all right. All right. What happened so often that I just... It did not happen all. You're coming once. How many times have done I've got you? Don's never caught me.

I did it while she was sleeping one night. She didn't catch me. You guys are bad on us. All right, I love you. I'll talk to you tomorrow. I'll see you. Say goodbye to everybody. Bye everybody. Have a good night. I'm a buddy. I love you. I'll talk to you tomorrow. I love you too. All right, say goodbye to everybody. Bye everybody.

Have a good night. I'm a bye. I love you. I love you. Wow. There you go. I learned, I learned everything I needed to know about you the last three minutes.

Well, usually the phone call starts like this. I mean, I've been asking her not to say, move back home. For, since I moved to New York, she's been trying to get me home to be on my hairdresser for 25 years. That's her dream. For me, I heard a cut old lady's hair in her shop in the garage. That's her fucking dream. I hope that happens one day.

No, no, no, no, no. No, you don't got gotta cut hair in the shop. You just gotta open up a meatloaf sandwich truck right outside the garage. Dude, I'm thinking I'm fucking, I'm almost on the verge of it doing a thump stuff. How could you possibly do hair? That makes no sense.

That's what I'm saying. It's terrible, right? And then, I picture you like fools, no hand. But every time we have a conversation usually it starts out hi. I'm just I just look everything's great How are you everywhere? I read is all right? Everything's good. How are you okay great? And we're talking I was saying yeah, I mean, you know Mary next door just she blew her knee out and then she fell and she's in the hospital But you know that you know But the guy you know down down the street now he died and it just

Tumbles out of control. It's all somebody needs a fucking liver somebody's dead Somebody's in the and I'm like ma. I can't what the fuck she's like. I'm sorry everything's good And we're but have a great night. I mean, that's just her. It just goes from down to death. It's always death. Somebody dying. I love her, but God damn. And now she listens to my shit. My sister, Cara, my younger sister,

hooked her into my social media. So now she's listening to my podcast. So now I feel fucking weird every time I say something ridiculous or outrageous because I know she's sitting there on her fucking high bed. Just that's the time. Sweat of God. You have to step on something to get into it. That's how fucking high it is. My grandma used to have ladders to get into her beds. What is this? Walk up like three steps to get into her beds. What is this? What is this?

Walk up like three steps to get into her beds. Because it's great for storage underneath. It's great storage. Oh, she's a pack rat too. I tell you that. I know anyone with a high bed is a pack rat. And I, because you're looking at the lane and bed, you're in a low bed,

and you're looking up at the ceiling, and you're like, look at all this fucking wasted space. I can get so much shit under here. So you start raising it up. You raise it up, you get a platform bed built, custom built. Huh? Huh? Huh?

Anybody with a high bed is a fucking hoarder. Do listen to me. She has shit in her house, and every time you go there, she's trying to give you something. if you say you like something you're fucked. We got a dawn said she likes snowmans. My mom had a little snowman. She goes oh I love that little snowman. Why do you like snowman? No love snowman that's so nice. For the next six years. Anything, any occasion, we had snowmen, she had come out of our assholes.

I'm not a Kenya. One time I was at her house. She had, never they had these things at Marshall's and at home goods, like the hands and the fucking face, like a ceramic bowl, or the bowl with the hand. I was like, I love that. But the face is on it. She got me the face.

She got me two feet. She got me a hand. She literally almost bought me the whole fucking body. And the last straw, I was like, stop it. I flipped out. She got me a foot with a hand with a feather in it. So I'm like, what am I going to do with this? Where am I fucking putting all this this whole body of ceramic horse shit?

No, my mother-in-law, my mother-in-law, like I was staying at my mother-in-law's house during the beginning of the pandemic. And I came home with a small pack of Oreos from the gas station. And I said, oh, you like Oreos? The next day Costco size boxes of Oreos every every weeks, you would get them. Every week that wouldn't bother me. I didn't bother me, but I would love that. If my, if my mother came back with Oreos, I love Oreos. God damn, one of cookie. It's like two cookies and one.

You split it, then this cookie's got the cream. That's your cookie. You're sick. You're sick. No, it's bad. It's bad. It's a double cookie. My mother, she's the king of leftovers too.

You'll go over there for dinner and show you'll look at the plate. There's lasagna, pancakes, a taco, and chicken, there's a little main, you're like, what the fuck me all this goes? I was just left over. I go, how long is that Chinese food for me? It's good. It's good. Like a week and a half. I'm like, what? Yeah, it's fucking believable. And if you go out to eat with my family, you have to, you have to take,

like we all went out to eat one day at a diner in New York City, the first time I ever got here. They dropped me off and we finally went out to eat and everybody's got to have something from everybody else's. Like everybody got, like I got a club sandwich with fries, he got pancakes, he got meatloaf. That guy was spaghetti, whatever. And then you look at your plate and every other like, what do you got?

I got me love. Let me get a little bit and you got to cut it up and give everybody. And I don't like doing that. When I go to what I want, I want the fucking club sandwich with the fries. I don't want a pancake. the fries. I don't want a pancake. But I love her. She's the best. She's the best. Anyways, back. This is the thing. This is one of the casualties of this pandemic was, I don't know if it was the first, but it was definitely one of them, the Creek and the Cave, where it was like, the Creek is close and it was, like when Dangerfield closed, I mean, I didn't perform that back in the day, and I loved it because you did 30 minutes,

but it's one of the clubs, Dangerfields, right? Yeah. But then the Creek was a different story because the Creek was, I felt like it was to me, the minor league ball club. If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't have the greats right now, the ones that came up because all the clubs in the city had all headliners where it was hard to get in. They needed a place to go to get good, the Napar Gatsys, the fucking Joe Liss, the Mark Normans, the Dan Sotas,

the Napar Gatsys, the fucking Joe Liss, the Mark Norman's, the Dan Sotas, and you gave him that spot, and you gave him their own little seller. Like this is yours. This is your fucking place. You guys come here, you do your shit, whatever the fuck you want to do, whatever show you want to create, you do it here, and you had full creativity and it was this and then you would still bring us in like call in and me and in Norton and it was this amazing almost community college of fucking comedy right it was like all right you ain't in Harvard right now, but you're gonna go here for a few years and then you're gonna transfer over.

Yeah. And then you closed and it was like, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. How did that happen? Man, I mean, we didn't have a good 2019. You know what I mean? And when Skankfest didn't happen in Houston, that helps keep the business alive. So when Skankfest didn't happen in Houston, because that helped that keeps the business alive.

So when Skankfest didn't happen in Houston, and we had already done all the planning for it, because we canceled it about three weeks before it was supposed to happen. We took a huge hit, a huge hit. I applied for the first round of PVP. I applied for the first round of PVP. I applied for the EIDL. And so there was some stuff there that allowed me

to keep it open throughout the summer. But my employees all left. They were able to make more money, either off of unemployment or off of doing deliveries for the postmates and stuff like that. And I was down to one person who helped me cook. She was a former bartender. And I was running deliveries. I was handling the counter. I was running the bar and answering the phones by myself. And it was just the two of us all summer. And it got to be too much.

I mean, we started doing the outdoor shows for Michael, I think in June. And Michael, Jay. Yeah, and June, and we did those until, I think we made it to, I think we did like six or seven of them, and I don't remember how many. And they were absolutely amazing, but we would close the creek when that would happen.

So the inconsistency on the times and stuff that we were open kind of hurt us. And we didn't have our chefs. We weren't able to bang out the food. You know what I mean? And the truth of the matter is, is that it was just, it was, it was dead on the vine. If I were to stay and try and get it to work, I would have had to close doors. My landlord wasn't willing to let me

just freeze rent for like a certain amount of time. Right. And they're renovating right now. They're, they're moving a new restaurant in as we speak. Right. So when you made that decision to pull the creek in the cave, did you know you were going somewhere else? Oh, you like I'm out of the business. Oh, no, I had no idea. I just knew that I couldn't continue and I couldn't ask this amazing person who helps me through it to continue. You know, she was breaking her back and it was just an uphill battle that we weren't going to win. So, you know, I called the pinball guy and told him to come get his machines and I called them. I sat in the corner of our hair.

I didn't know how the leg actually did. Yeah, the pinball guy. So he got the machines and then, you know, I let the landlords know that my last day was going to be December 1st. We were already on 30 day terms anyway, so it wasn't any skin off their teeth, really. And yeah, those are all Allen's games. That's from Brooklyn Pinball. And he actually is going to be our pinball provider down here in Austin, which is cool. So it's a happy ending for the now. Now it's a good ending for the pinball guy. Yeah. And we took the marquee down. So the marquee came down in March.

So we turned in the keys on December 1. But we hadn't been operational until about the second weekend of October, I believe. Is that your marquee? It's our marquee. Our marquee is down on the building already. We installed it yesterday. Well, you're fucking looking at it.

I don't even know where to put a bed. Where do you put a marquee? I don't know. So we had a shipping guy come, we had a stage rigors come and set up a police system from the roof and they hooked the marquee up to it and then they repelled off of the building

and like gently guided the marquee down to the ground. What? And then we wheeled it onto a truck, and then it got driven down to Austin, and then we had four guys in a scissor lift. Bring it back up to the spot and draw it on the ground. Why every time I hear scissors, I think it's lesbians. Well, I just see you. I just picture a truck full of lesbians scissoring,

and then it somehow makes a Cooper who was her lesbian girl That sounds like a fucking Sounds like a chick's name you met a like a barks. It's a little over there My name's Lisa, but they call me Cooper I went on Legion of Skanks, I did a, I was a guest on their podcast and yeah, that was the marquee coming down. And these guys listened to it and gave me a call the next day and they asked me if they found the funding, if I'd be willing to come down and start a creek in Austin and I literally had, I was just going to go on postmates and start doing deliveries.

That was, I didn't know what else to do. You know what I mean? I don't have a resume. I've owned a fucking business for 14 years. I don't have, you know, I don't have a resume. Like, I mean, I have one now, but it's terrible. I've never made a resume my entire life.

I've never had a resume. Never had one. You're saying like we're fucking shocked that a Puerto Rican from the Bronx didn't have a way. Like we're gonna be like, no! I don't have a resume. I don't have a resume. Louis Diaz didn't have a fucking resume. I was, I'll get DJed, because I was, I know you're fucking real name Austin is such a perfect fit for Creek

in the cave. I mean, let's be honest. Austin is so, I mean, I don't know why you think it, like, why didn't that fucking hit me? That is the universe coming together, not to get too fucking crazy. I can't believe that this has happened. I mean, I honestly didn't think it was real. I spent the first five, six weeks of them talking to me.

Like I even came down to Austin. They were like, okay, we want you to come down and just pick a place. And I was like, you want me to just pick a place? And they're like, who is this? Yeah. Elon Musk comics. It's this really, this awesome guy named Pulled Downing. Is there awesome guy named Marty Clark? Marty was the one who called me. I think I know Marty. Yeah,

you probably do. He's like a Wisconsin kid. He's a Madison kid. Um, but he um, he called me out of the blue. Asked me if I wanted, if I wanted to come down and do it. And I didn't think for a second that they were going to be able to get two nervous together. You know what I mean? I was just like, okay, sure, I'll come on down. I went down. You know, I talked to them. We met for like three days. We went around and looked at a bunch of different spaces. Constantly going like, well, what if Rogan wants this space? And like, what are we gonna do if Cap City opens here? And like, you know, we didn't, we were trying to figure out like, you know, where the natural, like, good fit is for the Creek too. And I think we found the perfect spot. But I did on the place.

And we ended up, and then every other day, they'd call me and say, it's fallen through, it's happening, it's fallen through, it's happening. And then finally, they figured out how to make it work. And they, I mean, they moved mountains. And that's how we ended up beginning being able to do this. It's just been incredible. Comedians help you fucking get this place going.

Yeah. That's fucking great. And that's why, because comics love you. I mean, that's just that. We love you. And you've all, I mean, you just, you, you, you, you, you're, that's just that. We love you. And you've all, I mean, you just, you, you, you're, you're just comedy. You love comedy. And you, you're creaking the cave club. I mean, remember when I first met you, you asked me to do a week at the creek.

And you got people to come. It was like a Monday. I'm like, nobody's coming to fucking see me on a Monday. And granted you forced all your staff to sit down and give him free tacos. I was like, wow, I got fans out here. Then I just saw the meeting food. Oh my gosh, you paid them to make sure, but they were it was great. It was it was it was amazing. And then all the then when you started doing the skank fest there, that was just I knew that was, it was' believable. And I owe you too because I remember I went there one day and you gave me my humidor by the way. Oh yeah, that's right. My brother's a big cigar smoker and he thought it would be great if I was able to sell cigars in New York. So he sent me this kick ass huge humidor, it's beautiful. Yeah. And not knowing that you have to have thousands of dollars to get licenses con Bolotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Yo siempre he tenido un cigarro en su mano, así que es como el que se puede llevar a un humano.

Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincindia aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. I have it in my house. There's 700 cigars in there right now.

Oh my god, that makes me so happy. I'm so happy. I had to redo a bunch of stuff on it. I re-did everything inside. I put lights in it. I had to get an oasis system. I had to get a new hydrometer. Whatever the fuck that thing's called.

I re-did the whole thing. and now I put this around 700 fucking, I mean, it's going to be the death of me. I'll get cancer from it. Is that because people just can't lose the guard? So thank you. Or are you getting them? Yeah. People give me cigars and I love it because they know they give me great cigars.

I love getting cigars from fans, because it's fucking awesome. I love it and usually we'll smoke with them, but yeah, I get cigars from them, but I buy, there's like four cigars I love, and then I always get some Cubans when I go out of the country. So I have levels. I have the Cubans on the bottom.

I have the boxes of rare cigars that I bought are people who've given me on the second. And then in the middle rack is just garbage every day joints. You're social garbage. Right at eye level. Yeah, well, when someone comes over and I want to say, yeah, do you smoke? So guys, not really.

OK, right here, this row is you. You're you're fucking peanut butter squash, whatever fucking name that is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you get you get Al Dalfa dog. You smoking middies. Yeah, what is it? Middies.

What's a middie? It's like middle of the line. Weed like, oh, middies. I'm so fucking old. I don't have to. Middie. I don't know what a middie is. Yeah, no, I, I told you that.

I told this before on the podcast. Ari brought one of his comic friends over. You know, hey, can I bring my friend over? Big barbecue, fucking fights. I got Cubans busted out Hoyos, Virzy's here. And then the guy comes over and I go, Virzy here's your guy and he goes to my friend. Have one, I'm like, it's a fucking Hoyo Cuban.

I mean, this is one of, this is the, the, the, all time cigars. Versi walks up. Don't fucking do it. Don't do it. You know, the sky doesn't, he's not a smoke at the end. You're gonna wait. And I was like, nah, here you go. Take one. And then I look back. Versi taps me on the show. Yeah, look at the ass tray, dude. I look. It's a half smoked cigar. He took two puffs of a fucking Cuban. Ah, it's a 20, I think a $30 cigar. And he left it in the ass tray. I went over to him, Hey, buddy, come here, pick that fucking cigar

up and light it back up. You got to smoke that. That's a fucking Hoyo Cuban. My favorite cigar in the world. And I gave it to you. That's that's got your name on it. Finish it. I made him finish it. Fuck him. Fuck it. I hope so. Oh, there you go. So some fucking Austin COVID for you. Um, so now you've vaccinated. Yep. I got it in North Carolina before I got here. That's great. That's awesome. Um, and now is the club. Where is it on sixth? Yeah. 611 E seven street crazy. So it's right on sixth. It's on seven street. It's on E. Crazy. So it's right on 6th. It's on 7th Street. It's on East 7th Street. So it's the right. Right in the down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's where the old Barakuda used to be.

Fucking crazy. I mean indoors. In an outdoor space. We're opening for outdoors starting April 1st. We're going to be doing. We'll be April 1st. Those are the weekdays. Yes, and you are a boxer. I'll be there. I'll be there on Friday. Awesome. Did you say he has a brown cock? What did you just say? I said, you know, I need to talk. Oh, you need to talk. I think you're a brown boxer. I would be willing to wait your guessing. Probably has a brownish you do his cock. Yeah, he's got it.

I hope so. I would say three different colors. If you ask me, there's a pink, there's a dark brown, and then a light brown. My quota Irish is that area. That's sad. That's sad. That's bad love. That's bad luck. That's what my mom left. So, and I'm so happy that that's gonna, and you're, I mean, think about Austin and think about where you were, all the shit that you got, where you were, all the bullshit in the neighborhood. You know, and it was so, I mean, look, I'll be honest with you,

it's out of the way. It was fucking out of the way. Creek in the cave was a motherfucker to get to, you know, for me, it was out of the way. Long Island city, I mean, I know it was cool and hip, but it was a little out of the way. It was like, I have motherfuckin' you gonna go out there, you gonna find Parkin', you gonna, you know,

but now you're in the midst of everything. Every festival that goes there, you're going to be a part of it. Every fucking thing that happens, you're going to be right there with a, what do you mean? Yeah, I mean, it's going to happen. What do you crazy? I mean, great. They're open up 75 comedy clubs right around you. What was I saying?

It's insane. It's like everybody's like, what's up with that? It woke up one day and decided to open a club here But I mean I did too so I can't really fault anyone you know, they read but the cities on fire You're gonna you're gonna kill it and you have a name you have a name with yours and we have a marquee Is that it? That's the spot wow. I know exactly where that is Yeah, we're gonna do what is this?

What is this opening right here, the garage? Go back mush? It's a double door that we're probably not gonna utilize, but it's a load end door for like roady work, basically. Okay, and what is on the back too? What is this front, what is all these windows? Is that the room? That's the room, that's where the pitmo machines are gonna go. And where is it all? And then behind that the room? That's the room. That's where the that's where the pitmo machines are going to go. And where and there's

all and then behind that is a big theater like with a huge stage. And there's space outside somewhere. Where's the space? The space is straight. Like you can see how that that window is like more lit. The one on the right. That's the back must be outside. And it just might have to take that off. There's like another 150. There's space for like 150 people back there almost can you put that back up and we're gonna build in the next year or so we're gonna build in the outdoor space I'm assuming it goes over the bar to create more seating up on and decking

is this off we have this amazing food truck coming in that does Texas Wigubeef thanks Bush and I wait so yeah so you can see through those light windows like that's it's directly across from the from the front door almost that the back doors are and we we we're going to do New York style hot dogs we're going to be doing all kinds of stuff it's going to be amazing. Now what's what's right next to you? Oh good. What's right next to you? On the right hand side is, okay.

On the right hand side is a record store. And on, and they're the people who used to own that bar and they're moving like another door down. So they have those two properties to the right of us. To the left of us is a hookah bar that works after hours and someone was murdered there. Right. Last night.

Last night? No, night before last, two nights ago. Murdered. Last night. Last night? No, night before last, two nights ago. Murdered. Murdered. How? It's a hookah bar. They were shot. Why?

Yeah, it's not like the nerds are going to smoke hookahs. Yeah, exactly. Well, and it's also they don't even start till midnight, so they're literally just luring drunk angry people to come smoke who goes down on some street. I have a block from homeless shelter. So, you know, there's some challenges on the block, but I think that we're going to be able to meet them pretty well. Last time I was there, I was at the hotel. I was having coffee outside of the the Driscoll, which is one of my favorite hotels. So, yeah. Yeah, seven guys came up on bicycles

and took out bowing knives and threw them at a closed bank or closed the wood on the front of the building. Just whomp, and they were just banging off of it until one of them landed in a nice shot and then they took their bowing knives and put them back into their hoodies and drove off. And that's how decisions get made in Texas.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's a little fucking nuts there right now. Yeah, I mean, the tech, the governor just said that everything's wide open, yeehaw. And so, and then Austin immediately went, well, we're gonna go ahead and keep doing it here. Is that cool? Okay, good. I know, Austin's a little lefty.

It's a little different. It's a little different. But I mean, I feel like it's been wild. I'm really hoping that this, I mean, everybody wants a pandemic to be over. But I hope that they really ramp up the vaccine rollouts in this town like fast. Well, yeah, people think I'm going to be open.

Is that the inside of it? Yeah. Oh my God, that's amazing. Oh, my God. So what is it? So this is just what? Bar, hang out, pinball, finger banging. Yep, all of that, just like the creek.

Nice. And then the back there is the actual room. Where's the room, though, stage? The stage is, where is the actual room where's the room though stage the stage is uh where is the stage on this the stage is like to the left of this so you're looking at the um the wall on the left is where the is where the bar is where the stage is okay i got you yeah i fucking can't believe this is gonna be great abberks coming in we have muralists we have these in sick ass artists that are coming in

and painting like this amazing shit in like day glow. We're having like bamboo and weeping willows coming in. Like we're designing the fuck out of it. It's going to look like another world. Now with these guys, your partners now, these are the comics. Yeah. Yeah.

So are they going to be able to choose who comes and who doesn't? No. Or are you still the chooser? That's me. Oh, good. You're the booker. I'm the booker. I'm handling the talent.

Oh, good, good. I'm GM of the club. That's great. That's fucking great. I love it. I'm so happy for you. It's gonna be great. I mean, Siph is probably getting murdered there, but that's okay.

Definitely. That's what can happen. We have a security team and we have a security, we're gonna have a security team that's gonna work at the front and the back. How far from voodoo donuts, by the way? I am not sure what they do deliver to us. Yeah, that's the stage.

Nice. All of those cabinets are gone. It's like, it's a lot more simple looking than that right now. There's no fabrics. So you're gonna, I mean, when they go back, the thing that sucks about Austin, everything's Texas, Texas and Florida doesn't give a fuck. Austin gives a fuck. Austin is very liberal. Austin in the last 10, 15 years with all the tech and all the, you know, all those festivals that were coming in and all those big companies, they became very progressive.

When I was there, the Starbucks was shut the fuck down, where you mask everywhere, except if you had a bowie knife, none of those guys were wearing masks. Apparently, nobody's gonna tell them. If I didn't have my mask gonna get yelled up by a fucking, you know, 48 year old fucking woman with a dried ponytail. But. I mean, I spent a lot of time in Austin the last couple of months because Dave had a little residency there. Right.

And it's a fucking dope ass town, even with the COVID restrictions. It's a great town. Now, how can I ask you about that, Syph? Yeah. Because you've always been in the mix with the motherfuckers, the famous, you know so many famous people. Yeah, a lot. But you never come, I do.

I do. I do. But you never come across as, you know, Hollywood. You never come across as an asshole. You come across as You know hollywood you never come across as an asshole you come across as you're always just you always say hi You always say bye. You're always in the mood for conversation No matter where you're but you're you do hang out with the elite of the elite for a long time because people don't know this Siphon is a funny comedian. He's a motherfucking great comic, but he also was famous already. Yeah.

He was a DJ on, I believe it was 98, 97, hot 97. 97? Right, exactly. So, and he was, I mean, at the top of the game when it comes to that. And then whatever happened with that, I don't want to get into that, because it was all kinds of crazy. So and he was I mean at the top of the game when it comes to that and then Whatever happened with that. I want to get into that because it was all kinds of crazy

I don't want people coming after me. I don't want fucking Lewis Farrakhan fucking calling me up What whatever happened? But you were famous now, but you didn't miss a step bro No, and like it's funny because that's why I love Rebecca so much when you you listed all those names of the people that, you know, got their start or or or cut their teeth in the creek. That was me at hot 97. Like I would put on no names, no name rappers who I just liked or who are around and they became the superstars that we know today. You know what I'm saying? So,

yeah. So give us a cut. Can you give us one? Like, I mean, like, Rihanna's the biggest one that I always get the credit for. You discovered Rihanna. I didn't discover her. I broke it. First of all, relaxed. None of your black friends are going to hear this podcast and call you up. Okay. I got fight. I got chubby guys that look like me all around Jersey and Westchester and Boston. It's not gonna happen. You're fine. I'm gonna share with you. I've seen a whole bunch of Bobby Feds. Um, I love that my fans all look like me. Rihanna, Rihanna's the biggest one I get credit for for breaking. I was the first one to play Rihanna ever. She was nothing through nothing. She had a demo

and I played on the air because I liked it. But like, umbrella, umbrella, wait for that. You have to stop. I'm sorry. Bobby's got it. No, he doesn't. There's a lot of a part in the song. Just saying vowels. That's why you. But Rick Ross is a big one. Sean Paul Rick Ross. He said, yeah, Rouse the first one to play Rick Ross is a big one. Sean Paul Rick Ross. He said yeah, Rouse the first one to play Rick Ross in New York first ever.

Wow ever ever ever. But I even like Norie Aiga DMX all those guys like from the early I mean the late 90s the locks like I was a big part of that. And so those guys love me because I was a big part of their early career and I never got Hollywood with them and then like Other people like me like sports a lot of sports guys like me because I don't like sports So when I meet a lot of sports guys, I don't fan out. I don't get all fucking group-ish So they can just have regular talks with me. I don't care who they are and then they they you know

I'm cool with them and then they invite me to like all types of crazy shit like Like a big one was um was Kevin Gardner what I met Kevin Gardner. I Know no idea who he's like yo. I'm a fan of yours. I love your mix tapes. I was like oh cool. What's your name? He's like my name's Kevin. I was like cool. Thanks Kevin like I was like, oh, cool. What's your name? He's like, my name's Kevin. I was like, cool. Thanks, Kevin. Like, like, I'm walking, I'm leaving the restaurant with my friends. I'm like, I see later, Kevin. They're like, you know, you know who that is? Oh, my kids. It's Kevin. So you're the Rebecca Trent of hip hop. I'm the Rebecca Trent of hip hop. Yeah. But, um, yeah, I'm a rege artist and then like, okay, you know, it's a big one right now.

You know, Daniel, Kaluah, Kaluah, the guy from Get Out and he's in that movie, Judas, and he's got an Oscar nomination right now. Yeah. That guy, he's from London. I used to do a radio show in London. Matter of fact, I met him, my boy called me from London and was like, hey, my friend, and he has three people with him.

Can you get him into the cellar? And it was like Friday night, nine o'clock. I was like, bro, you gotta call me beforehand. You know, so I pull up, I ask Liz if I can get four people and she's, you know, you know, how Liz is. She gave me a hard time, but she let him in. And it was, it was this guy, Daniel Kallua. And he was like, you're all my big fan of yours. I fucking always used to listen to you. Now he's like, super cool because, you know, I got him into the, you know, I hooked them up, you know, I mean, I didn't, I didn't give him no, no, I feel

miserably with famous people. I feel, I'm because I, because I do the exacting you're not supposed to, I feel like I have to say something. I feel like, you know, I remember I met Tom Brady and we're in the locker room and he came out looking like a Kennedy and I just, I couldn't stop staring at his fucking mouth. I mean, you know what you can tell somebody's staring at your mouth. You know, why? Why was he kissing? You wanted to kiss him? But he had such white teeth.

That was so perfect. You wanted to kiss him. And he walked out like this. Like he took a smile class. And he had a double-breasted suit with a fucking hanky. I was like, what the fuck? And the guy was a cakey ticket pitcher. And he went back next to Tom.

And I was just smiling. And I go, hey, everybody smile like Tom. If you can, and nothing, I got nothing. Yeah, because you got, with guys like that, they're not used to comics. You got to say something regular first before you throw in a joke Like what high? Yeah, you got to be like Like you got to let them know you're not a man. I'm not trying to know you. I'm a big fan man good shit

I'm from Boston. I'm a big fan. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, and and if they engage then you fuck around But if not you just send your piece and you walk away. Yeah, listen, rock guys, I have no problem with rock guys to me. I believe all rock guys, this is my theory with rock guys. And don't take offense, Gabby, but and I think you'll agree with me actually. All if you cut the hair off of rock guy and put them in a Steve Jobs outfit, they're just nerds. Nerds they're just nerds. Nerds, all virgin nerds.

You gotta stand, to learn an instrument, to learn an instrument, you have to be a fucking dweeb, to sit there all day, play the piano, play the guitar, learn all day sheet music, music class. Well guys like me and you, a fucking finger bang and by the bleachers, their home taking a lesson, okay? And then, and then what happens is, is they put on this thing, they triant, like butterflies,

the little caterpillars, and then all of a sudden, they master this thing, and then they form a fucking Voltron and become a band. So now they're more powerful, right? And then they form a fucking Voltron and become a band. So now they're more powerful, right? And then they grow their hair and they put on some fucking girl pants and a girl blouse and a couple wristbands and they fucking do shit that guys aren't supposed to do.

Highlights fucking flattening their hair. They fucking, they go and they go out and they play a song and then they're the mother I mean chicks alike fucking we can wear the same pants. I mean I They fuck and they and they turn into the coolest mother fuckers up, but but They're always that you do They're almost what's up, man. You know what I mean? They're always cool down the earth a little insecure fucking dudes. Yes, they're the shit It's still cool people, you know, like you know, it's funny why you say that no one always used to remind me of that is when you used to watch MTV

Cribs Right, and they would go to a rock stars house and it would be like straight HGTV And I'm like, where's the fucking tattoo Paula in your house? Where's the drug dead? Is like, yeah, this is my, you know, kids backyard to play down in the back. And I'm like, oh, these guys are dweebs. Yeah, yeah, no, they'd be like, yeah, this is my wife. What? You know, wife. You got kids right? Exactly, dude, they have a family room. You go to fucking, you go to fucking you

gonna fucking 50 cents house there's a strip of poll Oh, definitely. Yeah, this is the room with a lock on it That was lived the lifestyle they live it yeah, right exactly it's just I think So rock stars I've never had a problem with because there's some type of but rappers are first of all they're very quiet like if you see them in public yeah very quiet they're very scoping out the area yes scoping out the area and they're quiet and there's a couple people with them rappers do you you can see a rock star alone yeah yeah, you will never see a rapper alone. Not some you will, some you will.

If you walk around, if you walk around, travel by themselves. Who? Generally speaking, it's just not safe for them to do that. Yeah, that's true, but like you'll see Andre 3000, like he's always around Soho. Like you'll see him walking around by himself. He's an artist, you know what I mean?

He's like a commercial, like, he's, yeah. I wouldn't put him in that same category though, like, I think he's like a celebrity. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's, it's, it's crabs in a bucket in the rap game and like, the minute you get put on, somebody's trying to grab your crabs in a bucket.

Yeah, I love that. I'm using that. I love it. The moment you get on, somebody's trying to snatch your wallet, snatch your chain. That's right. So he takes something from you. One, it's to get a bit of money if they rob you too. It's to get a little name and notoriety. So you always gotta keep, you know, oh man, I turned into my rap life the other night.

I was doing one of these shows in Connecticut, this bar and this crowd, this group. Connecticut is not ready for you. We're gonna stop talking the whole show every comic that one of these people ruined the show. And the guy says something to me and he was talking we were fighting. We're going back and forth. And then he goes, it was me and Will Silvins and then he goes, well, you guys haven't said anything funny yet.

And I fucking, all the Bronx came out of me and I try hard to control myself. And once that switch goes, I go, oh, I said, you've been talking, you ruined the whole show. But now you're saying we haven't said anything funny when you haven't let us get a fucking word in edgewise. You know what, you turned us into something else. Why don't we step outside?

And the whole room. The whole room got dead silent. I don't know. It was bad, man. It was bad. I remember when you came and saw me as San Fran, you called me up, you're like, go, can I get a guest spot?

I was like, all right, cool. And I was like, let, do my podcast with me. Like, I find, but I showed up with you. And you had, you had some dude just sitting there detecting you from me. I'm, but I showed up with you and you had you had some dude just sitting there detecting you from me. I'm like what the fuck man? The fuck was that? And you were saying it like a way better hotel than me. You're like some bitch. He was like this guy just asked me to do a guest blog. This Kong Suckers had a five star hotel with a dude. He had a guy. Yo, yo, the biggest rap group right now is this group called

Griselda. They're from Buffalo. They put Buffalo on the map. It's crazy. Right. Right before the pandemic, I finally started getting headlining gigs. I got a new agent. I got a headlining gig in the Buffalo. Um, what's the club in Buffalo? Helium? Helium. Helium. So this rap group is from this. So they saw an Instagram that I was in town. And they were like, hey, we see you're in Buffalo. Are you good? I was like, I think so.

Why? They're like, do you need weed? Do you need smoke? Do you need girls? Do you need security? I was like, fuck. I think I'm just doing a comedy club. I think I'm all right. So club. I think I'm gonna work.

So he goes, I'ma send somebody just in case. So I was like, all right, so this guy shows up he goes, yo, West Side Gun sent me his two guys. Who, who was it? West Side Gun. Okay, great. West Side Gun. So these two guys come and I'm like, bro, I don't need, I don't need you. It's a fucking comedy show.

So they love the shows. The Thursday night just one show they loved it. They came back the next night with like six guys. Awesome. So I asked, and they're like, yo, can we get in? I said, I asked the owner, the manager, he goes, yeah, they can come in, they can come and stand in the back. The next night they had like 15 guys.

The opening comedy, the opening comic was like, wow, I never seen someone growing on to Raj over the weekend. It's true, man, you know, you don't fuck around. Like I remember when you first started coming to the seller, I was like, who's this fucking weird looking dude? I was like, this motherfucker looks tired all the time. And then I met and you don't you don't say anything. You don't tell anybody anything. You don't see it's like you're just the dude. And then somebody was like, Oh, he was, that's that's the sound that he was on. He was, this guy was pretty. And he would tell her it out. And the head of the seller, it doesn't matter though. In the seller, it doesn't matter. I, I want to get good at comedy.

I want to be one of the best. I want to be like you guys. So in there, it doesn't matter who I am. It's what I do that night. You know what I mean? But even like, it's funny because when I met Noam, I was just a new comic that got on at the seller. And he didn't know who the fuck I was.

And at one night we're standing outside and people are walking by like, yo, safe, what up? What up, safe? And he's like, who the fuck are you? Who? Ha ha ha. Dude, I think I have, I know you discover people, but I think you've overlooked somebody.

Who's that? I think you've overlooked my wrapping abilities. Oh, really? Oh, you don't have to do this. Really, I did. I think I just, I can just freestyle good, man. You know what I mean? I had no idea.

Yeah, man. I mean, I'd love to show you some of it just a little bit if you don't mind. And maybe you could point me in the right direction. Of course. Cool. Why wrap is a poppin' right now? All right, let's go. Give me in the right direction. Of course. Cool. Why rap is a poppin right now? All right.

Let's let's go. Give me that beat. Give me a beat. Oh, yeah. Come on up. Oh, you like beat by. Turn it up. Turn it up.

Turn it up a little bit. That's it right there. Oh, crabs in a bucket. If I had a dick, I would tuck it. If I were to tuck it, I would pluck it. Crab in the bucket. Ooh. What?

What? It's better than we thought. Keep going. That was good, right? That was fucking good. That's it. I'm good 82 reps. I said, Betty, too.

You're right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. If I had a dick, I would tuck it. I'm sorry. You're right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Motherfucker. All right, listen, we do an extra 10 minutes.

We're going to whip it out right now. If you guys want to stick around, that'd be awesome. I have some more questions for you, Mrs. Trent. And I would like to, I have some more questions for you, Mrs. Syphus Sounds. We go right now. Now, you're going to be where in, you're going to be, when be going to be going to be going to be

going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to They have two clubs there. They have the other Tacoma comedy club. Yeah, I play which is nice. Tacoma's nice man. I heard heard. I made a, I made a, I made a, I believe that's where I made my, my independent film loan. Oh my God. If you haven't seen that, you have to watch it after the show. It is the scariest thing you'll ever see. It's Bobby alone in a hotel room. I'm 30 different angles.

All edited together. I was in Tacoma alone, but in the winter, I was so depressed. I was so missing my family. I was so sad because I don't drink. I don't use drugs. I was on another fucking diet. I was so sad because I don't drink. I don't use drugs. I was on another fucking diet. I was on some fucking diet. So I couldn't even fucking get ramen or whatever they're known for up there. And I wound up going on all the touristy shit and then I made this this one minute

independent. I saw this guy on YouTube. He's like, what I want you to do is I want you to make a one minute movie with your iPhone. And I want you know, I was He's like, what I want you to do is I want you to make a one minute movie with your iPhone. And I want you now. I was like, okay, I just want to just go ahead and I'm going to wipe. And I made a one most do you have that you have just the first second of it just show. I do it. I made this movie. And I I put this out there on my Patreon. I put it on. And now you're a millionaire.

Oh my God. Did I think I really thought people could actually, I remember my manager at the time. I, this is probably why he fucking stopped working with me. He told me, hey, can you submit this to Sundance Film Festival for me? Dude, I guarantee this has something to do with it. I Remember I showed him and I waited for a response. I didn't even I remember I got I think I called him

I was like, hey man, what'd you think like? Shit, he probably watched that with his partner his friends his wife like check this fucking shit out this guy My god, oh my god, dude was it so Tacoma and it's cold up there. So have bring somebody Don't be alone or you might make a fucking No, here's what I don't get about your comedians. Yes, you when you get to town like make some friends or call some people up. I don't you guys all sitting in the room What they two in their head a sitting in room all day the only thing they do is the show. Oh Here it is guys. Oh my god. Oh my god. I just got shivers in a bad way Here it is you're ready? Oh, I forgot the definition.

I need some popcorn. No, you don't. You need a razor blade. You're out of your mind. There it is. The acting is so sublime. I love the quick cuts. Wow. Oh my god. I forgot how much I love this. I'm crying.

Here comes. This work is deep. It's just a dainymale. I Stop stop stop stop stop no, what are we going to your head? Can we do the rest? Oh my god. Where have it stop mush for keep it there bush We're gonna play the rest in the extra 10. We're gonna finish low on the movie Wow, it gets bad listen creek in the Austin, this shit's down, it's moved, it's happening. Let me tell you something right now. I can't, I mean, things fucking happen. I'm so excited. This went down. I'm so excited

that it's in, it's in Austin, where it's at, those guys, those people who helped you do that fucking bravo to you guys. And if you, when the festivals come, I hopefully I'll come down there and get to play that club and you got them right. And I'm so happy for you, mama. And go see my man, the scyythe wherever he is because he's fucking hilarious as I was seeing I think a as I was yeah it's a weird fucking name but I know it's not what you get it down it does it's a weird just you know what do you do and of course What was that? What was the brooks? Gabby. Gabby, right? Um, Gabby, tell us it.

Gabby, uh, Gabby. Yeah. Gabby, what do you got besides small t-tays? I have small, very small boobs. Thank you for bringing that up. Um, I have a monthly newsletter or a comedy newsletter. You could subscribe to that in my, the Bayon D'Agg. Because it's month, I suck subscribe to that in my period.

Cause this month, I suck. Go ahead. Shut up. Follow me on Instagram and Twitter. Yes, she's, she's very funny young girl. And now you should check her out. Rebecca and mush, what do you got? mush to mush is in San Antonio. You need so many mush is fucking hilarious too.

He's right down the road. He'll fucking he'll walk there. Oh good fucking great Rebecca was the first person to pass me in New York That's right actually I was New York I'm the first one to pass you through everything. Yes. Yes, okay I will be with behind skin tags. I don't really have skin tags yet. I'm almost there, though. I will be with Big J. Okreson, the 18th through the 20th this weekend,

laugh allowed San Antonio. Next week, I'll be with you in Greenville, South Carolina, at the comedy zone. Yes. What did you get a hair transplant? What the fuck is happening? No, it's okay. Okay. It just went up front. Sorry. I got your name. I'm your name.

I agree. Okay. Robert Kelly live.com. Listen, everybody, we've oversold fucking Uncle Vinnie's last week. That was great. Uh, Mohiegan's son, same thing. Oversold, bonuses. Uh, I know's son, same thing, oversold it bonuses. Uh, I know I really can't sell tickets anymore if you talk to some people, but apparently

I still am a little bit. Uh, I'm going to be a wise guy's Utah this, uh, this weekend. I'm very excited to go back there, comedy zone, uh, in Gainesville, South Carolina, hilarities. Uh, I'm coming to Chicago. So you son of a bitch is Sarah Chicago. I'm going to Chicago, so you son of a bitch is Sarah! Chicago, I'm gonna be there. So we're gonna do the laugh factory and two other theaters in there.

Go to robbercadalive.com, make sure you, if you're watching this on YouTube, go to patreon.com, you should be there. Join up, become a member, and none of this sassy $5 stuff, become a $10 member, get a shout out on the show a big one Oh, we got names you guys help me with these sure So if you don't get any music on you right now, right? My phone

Well, I what we do names I read the names, but anybody who did $10 gets an extra something Do you have that thing? Wapwapwapwap that thing? What's that thing on the Yeah, what is that you have that thing? Wapwapwapwapwap? That thing? What's that thing on the fog core? Yeah, what is that? You get that? I do. All core. So every time we get a $10 a name, read the name and play that. You ready? Are you ready? I got to read it. No, you read the $10 names and play that. I'll read the day. I'll read the name you play I'll play it. Wow. And then QM. All right. Here we go. Tron Nguyen. Ooh. Give that one another try so I can add us that. True, true, y'all.

True, y'all. Nguyen. The name is win. Um, and I have to take that up. You don't get in trouble. It's a big name. It's just win. I don't want anyone to change how you said that.

So just say, Tron win. Yeah. Tron win. That's how you say win. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't fucking know that.

I'm remix. I don't want you to be in trouble. I don't mean to. Mark Russell. Hey, I can read that. Okay. Need say helmet. Siph go. Yes. Yes. We got Matthew Wilson, Sipha. We got Paul, Sipha.

We got Walkin' Turnip fans, Sipha. Marcus Greg, Cody Hill. We got walking turn of fans. Siphon. Marcus Greg, Cody Hill, Jim Londres, Anthony Rodriguez. We got Elliott Hacker. You see the line, Anthony Rodriguez. Yes, Anthony Rodriguez. He's not a $10 guy. No, I'm going to give him one anyway. I got it.

I got Some shit right there Tim Howard, her we weener Tim her weener here Ben Crowe we got Rob Rice a doctor Bob Duffie, hit him up! Sipa! Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I know these people just got them for the Anthony. They don't have a point. And they've got all the same thing. Chris Shana Manaman. We got Murphy Justice, Murphy Justice. We got Jeffrey Smith.

We got James Visions on, Marty Lipsquitz. We got S.M. in him up, Syff. I'm talking about, we got Brian J. Robert McGowan. We got fucking James Jameson. And then we got of course Avery and LaBosca whiskey. And a love story. We got Tim Callahan.

We got Eric Coulter. We got Sean Callahan. We got Eric Coulter. We got Sean Donna Powell. We got big Lee Zerties 33,300. Just in Kyrgyz. Y'all. We got Eric a cock a cat to Tara and we got Maureen Cassie, Bive, hit her up. Tony Richardson, John Bonay Ramsey. We got go. Pensavato Valtto hit him up. Side.

Sam Joseph, Rodrigo Lucas, Davey, we got a rolling a rumbetta, Baja bob we got Andre hit him up safe What's up Mateo Peter Tucker if I had a fucking dick I would Tucker We got Ali Baka walkie and we got Mick be a champ And we got Patrick Egan KB hit him up scythe Harry game Kevin's gay and we got fucking Scott mall we got Dave Steve hit him up the scythe oh dog to Steve shit check it out best podcast on there on the laugh button. Oh, we got to talk about some

side too. Jacob Brackman, backman, we got Gregory Muse, we got Brian C, we got Mac Porter, we got Bruce Shush, we got Adam Gazelidvizes, and we got Melody Melody. Give her up, Syff. Listen home, Dennis Hamilton, we got Scott Woodbury holy shit how many left and we got Scott Dury we got Dufford Duffy give it up Chris pussy

Frank being out of hit him up we got really bad I'm going to be a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man.

You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man.

You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're a man. You're the shit. That's just rhymed. I do it all the time. It just comes out because your mind. Thank you buddy Those are all new Ben and Houston. I love you kid. I'll be out there. Thanks for joining the patreon I want to thank everybody that joined the patreon and I hope you guys stick around We had a great episode with Dan so to this week that's out that's fucking murdered and on YouTube and this episode right here with

Two of my favorite people in the business. I Love the this show is great. I knew it would be great. Of course, Siphah Siphah You got a new podcast coming out. Yes I'm so happy to mention that oh me and my friend will still Vince This is my friend for a long time, but over the pandemic, we teamed up, we started doing a lot of fun stuff together. And we're both two comedians that butcher the English language. And with speech impediment, his Haitian accent

and his stutter, and me, which is, I'm so smart that I can't say the words that I think are faster than I can say them. You know what I'm saying? So podcast is called talk clearlier, is dropping mid-April. Please look out for that talk. You got to, you two have to come back when Will can on, on counter and Kelly.

Because Will so Vince, I don't know if he's been on counter and Kelly, but Will so Vince, let me tell you something. I used to have mom, why can WD all the time. Nothing made me laugh more than Will Sovins saying, just talking. Walking regular, talking normal. Just normal. I mean, he's brought me up pretty much 99% of the time

of the seller and I went, I don't know what he just said. I'm like, I don't, and the crowd is like laughing because they're like, we don't know either. So you gotta check it out. That is on the laugh button podcast network. Yeah, love one of the new addition. This podcast is going to fucking be crazy. It's going to be off the chain.

And you got to check it out. We'll have you back on Calter and Kelly to promote that again. And much will put something in here before the 10 about the podcast. Yeah. And of course, go see Rebecca over Creek in the cave. It's the one sale for Eddie Pepaton next in the next two days.

Fucking love it. I love Eddie Pepaton, man. Eddie's your first deal. Eddie's our number two. Our first one's still a secret. So is it big? No. But it's it's it's to your heart. If we end up with the person that I hope we do it will be. That's awesome. I'm excited. Oh, you little fucking sneak. I like those. I like those little teasers. I like that. All right, will you text me who it's going to be? So I know I like a tease, but I was select to come. Oh, I know you. Oh, yeah, you don't want to just be edging all the time.

No, I fucking hate edging. Fucking hate that. I will. I'll edge, but I'll do it for like two hours, but then I gotta, I'm leaving. I'm going to jerk off or jerk off in the parking lot of something. You got to touch my Becca, you know, unless it's my wife, I'll do it for like two hours, but then I'm leaving. I'm gonna jerk off in the parking lot of something, you gotta touch my Becca, you know? Unless it's my wife, I'll edge all night. Anyways, Gabby check her out. Gabby, what does your thing again one more time? Call me on Instagram and Twitter.

At Gabby is Brian, I have a monthly newsletter and I have a podcast called Unabashed Podcast and I'm in New York doing that. on a bash podcast and I'm in New York doing that.