Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Colin Quinn and Rich Vos - Not Invited

Episode Date: September 21, 2020

This Episodes brought to you by Brooklinen.com, use Promo Code "WhatDude" for 10% OFF Your First Order! After dealing with old guy tech issues, we get into Colin's HBO Max taping, their levels of success and if they were right to trash each other for years instead of the current generations supportive way of doing things! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sabemos lo importante que es sentirse acompañado. Por eso en Caisha Bank ahora cuentas con un préstamo para hacer realidad tus ilusiones. Solicitan los desde el móvil 4 a.C. Informa ten Caisha Bank.es. Caisha Bank, tú y yo, nosotros. Siempre que se mantenga las de constancia económico financieras del solicitante en el momento de la solicitud. Ya, baby, estamos're starting the podcast right now! We're back, you know what to do live. Welcome everybody to the show.

YKW. I started the social media podcast. I'm the back. YKW. Dude podcast. YKW. He's back again. We're all starting before them all.

YKW. It's a podcast. It's so fun and crazy. And there's no rules. You're ruining this. For the more bad I'm having a first-party That's the comedy podcast. This is an NPR.

That's the podcast done. Is there any better show? This is the original version. The witch! That's right. This is the fucking original East Coast podcast before anybody I did this podcast and We're still going the YKWD's back. You know what dude? Motherfuckers and we got a great great. I mean mean they're so thrilled to be here we have Jesus Christ. Let me introduce Gabby. Hey! We got the bush in the background. We got the ladybugs hanging out. We have the legend

as he calls himself Rich Voss and we have the great Colin Quinn and they both look very stoic right now. Voss looks like a hustler from 1978. What kind of hustler? Like a sex hustler. Like you'd be, you're not a kill somebody, you're not a fight, but you also suck a good dick for a fucking 20 spot. That's disgusting. We don't talk that way around here. There's no reason to say that. Oh, God, what did you get a pep talk before the show? No, I didn't get a pep talk. We have to clean up our image if we're ever going to get anywhere on the industry. You talk that shit with those guys. Please, we're so far past the whole industry thing now. The industry, if the industry is fucking Johnson and Johnson, maybe will work for him, but there's no industry in this house.

Where the fuck did Colin go? Colin's leaving. What are you doing? Colin! What the fuck are you doing? What are you doing? What the fuck are you doing? What are you doing? He's putting on a circle light. He turned the lights. He's done a security industry to Colin. It just turned the lights out on them. I put on my lights. What was wrong with the other light? I just wanted to show you guys have a ring light. First of all, a ring light is for photographs, not for fucking video.

Yeah. We have a ring light too. I can go get it if you want. We can all have ring lights. I don't have a ring light. We all have a ring light. Where's he going now? Oh my god, it's like he's just like hanging out with Dawn's father.

Oh my god. I'm going to be a little bit more patient. I'm going to be a little bit more patient. I'm going to be a little bit more patient. I'm going to be a little bit more patient. I'm going to be a little bit more patient. I'm going to be a little bit more patient. I'm going to be a little bit more patient. I'm going to be a little bit more patient. I'm going to be a little bit more patient. I'm going to be a little bit more patient. I'm going to be a little bit more patient. We all have a ring light. Where's he going now? My god, it's like he's just like hanging out with dawn's father

Wait, what are you doing Participating in the show You're not really participating you keep getting up and doing things Get the flow going Show you guys my lady. I see you've got your user great lighting. Boss is really lighting it up. Let's get some kind of rose lighting going on over there. Yeah it's called a little closer so we can hear you better? Sure. I just had a mood swing. How does it look better the other way? It looked better the other way. Yeah, I look better the other way.

You look a little bit. You're a little pale for this light. Yeah, right. Oh, well. for this light. Yeah right. Oh well. Oh my god this is a retirement home right now. Watch we just hear a bang and him go out and that's the last we have here. The lights are back on its Keith. That would be black magic. Let me explain the moods way I had. First. Yes. Because my audio didn't work, so it was filming. And I was cursing, you know, Steve Jobs. I was cursing the beginnings of computers.

And then my way lights up failure. It's not a good feeling. Yeah, it shouldn't be a good feeling, especially seven months into a pandemic. Yeah, maybe, do you want me to come over there and hook you up so you look good? Well, yeah, just tell me what to do. I wouldn't do a Bravo makeover team how you could make them look good. First of all, you would have stayed with fucking zoom. None of us would have this problem, but you gotta be fucking Teddy technology and go,

oh, I'm gonna do this now. Everybody's doing fucking, everybody's doing zoom, but you gotta be Mr. Oh, yeah, well guess what? I'm doing, go fuck yourself. If it would have been zoom, we would have started our time. We'd all, I'm doing this into my phone, okay? I'd do it into my computer and look, you know, it's all, hey, look what I know. I'm going to do this and show everybody that I'm

better than zoom. Not better than zoom. This is way better than zoom because we can do more with it. And second of all, it's the same thing as zoom. Then why do you with it and second of all it's the same thing as them then why do you get it is the same thing what if it's not broken what how does it go you know it you know it yeah I broke it don't fix it you're fucking asshole it's working yeah that's worked with your career you know listen don't try to turn this around you should I have to do what I'm gonna try to do. Okay, here's what Bonnie says. I don't even know.

Bonnie says to me, now you do it. Name it and claim it. Okay, you made a mistake. Me and Colin suffered. Gabby, who's got nothing going on, has all day to fix shit up. Okay. Why is this on me?

Why is it on me? You lost a tattoo artist. That's almost impossible. What's that? She did that new guy and she dumped her twice. I dumped him. I dumped him. That's not what he said. Oh, you talked to him. I saw him since he put the circle on the line through your name. All right, I was good enough so far Colin go. I hate I just want to say this. I want to say this Colin. I really I hope you agree with me. I hate his do reg. I hate it. Yeah, well, his do reg looks like like the older guy in the like like the North Dakota prison dorm. Yeah, it's just like, you know, he's always kept up oily. He's always like wipe his body down, but you know, you can't have to deal with him. He's been there forever. Yeah, he sells cigarettes with the other smoke cigarettes.

He is an aunt. He is an aunt. He is an aunt that just ships cartons. So he doesn't have to suck dick. Yeah. But why don't you take away all my fun? But why do you ever do it? Nobody your age wears a duet. He said, for poor mooney.

Oh, you're the huge poor mooney. First of all, I bought it as a mess, but then I realized what it was and I like it, okay? Because I have a collection of hats and I have hair. I don't even have to wear any of it. We know. But when I walk around my house like this, I keep people in line. I scare people, you know, in my house. Oh, you're doing it?

Or your wife? I'll tell them both. You got to keep them in their place, you know what I'm saying? What are you talking about? Keep them in your place. She told you, if you Jesus Christ Boss wants to be in a gang so bad I am look Gabby has one too You heard of the warlords I'm a Jew I'm in the landlords

I said you that's like one of my oldest bits when I first started It's a pretty good joke, hey Colin. Yeah. If you were in prison, what would you be? What do you mean? Would you be a shock caller? Would you sell socks and underwear and cigarettes? Would you just be a loner? Would you be with the...

I mean, would they call an old, old hat? Just an old time just an old guy that gives head No, just be like the old guy Well, you know guy we'd be you'd be painting birds and shit. No, you'd be there giving wisdom sitting at people Come on Like the legal scholar, you know, I mean? They come to myself and I go look, and just give them hope even though you never know.

They're like, no, and they even know that doing life, it's probably not gonna happen, but you know, make them feel better, you know. Bobby, who's pocket when you hold on to as you're walking around? Okay. Okay. First of all, if I was in prison,

I wouldn't be anybody's bitch. So, I'll pick that number one. Would you go to the gym? I'm not a bitch. Would I go to the gym? Would you work out? Yeah, I'd work out. I'd be fucking shredded. You'd be shredded, huh?

Yeah. Okay, so why don't you be 10-year-in-prison and start now? If you want, that's not funny. All fucking calling and Gabby fuck you. Call on you're a fucking fatty. You shouldn't be laughing at this. We all are. We all the average person gained 17 pounds on this pandemic. I did not. I actually lost weight in this pandemic. I gained weight. I've never been. Stop hitting your microphone. Is that...mush. Stop with the microphone.

Yeah, that's not me. Mush. Mush. Mike. It's not me. Who is it? I have a mod on screen. I can't hear anything I'm doing. Then who is it?

It's one of the two guys on their phones. What? Usually either tapping, probably tapping, where the sound is coming into. We're not doing anything. I got my ears doing anything much. I'm not touching. Gabby, show you my God first sec. That's much swallowing. Hang on. No.

Not Gabby. What is that mush? It's not me. Everybody put your hands up. Call and size class. Mush. It's calling. No. It's calling. What's going on? What? You may have your volume too loud because you are too far away and it's reverbing the phone. Callin has to keep his hands up the whole show.

All right, go ahead. Oh my god. Yeah, it's feedback on Colin's phone. Put your volume down a little bit on your phone. Who? Who? The guy behind you. Me? Yeah, you turn your volume down on your... Yeah, I... Are you sure much? All right, my volume's down. I mean, we got a classic show here.

I know. I can't stay out. What the fuck is that mush? Come on, Bobby. You're a nerd man of Alcatraz fix it. I don't, I don't, you call me a nerd again. You're right. You just have to wrongly be an a nerd.

I wish I was a nerd. That's a compliment. You're a third. You don't think a nerd's a compliment nowadays? Colin. Colin. What? What?

What? Are you on Wi-Fi or or you just a regular service No, I'm Hold on I mean this is worse than Keith We because Wi-Fi makes it work better. I Can't wait. I'm on Wi-Fi. Now it's gone. Yeah. Okay. I'm on Wi-Fi. Okay. Now we're on Wi-Fi. She should be good. All right. No, I've been on Wi-Fi the whole

time. It's still going. It's still going. Can are you gonna do? I've never had had to turn your volume up. Why did it start? This is so weird. It's just why did start halfway through the show. Yeah, I think it's your I think it's mush just doing it to ruin the show. I'm kidding mush before you snap. He's gonna strangle me because of that comment. You have my a call. You have headphones. I got him somewhere. I just hear a honk. I

just heard a horn. That's probably me. Anyways, so now have you been have we been together since we filmed the HBO show. It was a week and a half ago. I'm not going to ruin this. There's going to have to redo it because that sound is still there. Yeah, if you put headphones on it will go away. Why? Stop, but it's me. It wasn't that I have to show. Hey, hey, hey. Sign back in. Did I have headphones on the first half of the show? Now, that's not how it works though. Colin. It just comes out of nowhere.

Like things happen at a note like people get divorced but the first five years they were getting along. Exactly. You know what I mean? Like so don't get that hot. That's funny. Bobby. Can you can you mute him? Much? Can you just answer me? Yes or no? Instead of just saying yes. All right. Thank you. Bobby, do me a favor for now.

When you when you I love doing anything that you're involved in, but you're going to have to tell me who the other guests are so I can make a decision whether to deal with this again. I'm sorry. You know what? I I'm very sorry. You're absolutely right. I apologize. You know, I mean, we had a deal with this again. I'm sorry. You know what? I I'm very sorry. You're absolutely right. I apologize You know, I mean we had a deal with a mood swing a light change And I apologize you came in ready to go you're a professional. I mean other than looking like fucking Omar from the wire

Thank you, You're welcome. What's up? Nothing really. I mean, my fucking, all the trees I planted in my front yard. Die. No, they're so skinny. The fucking deer are fucking eating them. I sprayed them today.

I look outside and they're all skinny and sick. I'm going, ah fuck, you know, not the ones in my back and then I go to spray them with this shit and I see deer poop. These fucking deer, because my property, there's every fucking animal and these trees, you know, there's 15 in my front yard and they cost a lot of money and these fucking What do you do? What do you do? I? Tell you what you do. We shoot them. I Think it's here season next month I

Shoot dear my friend yard. Yeah, just on your porch. I don't think you're allowed to do that. I think you gotta, you're not allowed to just hunt in your own property. I think you gotta, yeah, it's your property. If something, if your deer sees in, it's your property, you can whack one out right in your front lawn if you want. What am I gonna do with them? I mean, there's deer everywhere.

I just gonna pile up on my front yard. Yeah, yeah. You can sell them to Rednex for like meat. Yeah. Years ago, I fucking was driving down a highway. And I was going like 80 miles an hour. I hit a deer, completely smashed my car. Cudder.

The deer flew like a hundred yards. My car's a van pulls around and picks up the deer and puts it in a van and leaves me there in a smudge cracked up car. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The guy took the fucking deer because he saw that it just got hit and it was still good. The fresh meat and stuff. I'm telling you, my car was just crushed. Where was that? It was coming up from Philly on 95. Do you know, do you need the exact fucking town?

Go on. What a dumb question. We have not amazing stories so I can put it all together. Yeah, fuck it was on a highway. I'll tell you where it happened in my living room. You fucking moron. You piece of shit. You're asking any questions.

I heard you tell you used to be on corny podcast. Podcast where they answered dumb questions. Yeah, where did you wear up that? How long have you been doing comedy and why did you start? Who's your comedy idols? Yeah, I'm never saying you guys again ever College shut the lights out again It was fixed Colin Sleepy and in a senior's home It was fixed. It was fixed. Colin. Just like being in a senior's home.

Jesus, he had it right. It was done. He's punishing us. Colin, what is he doing? Colin. Colin, are you going to psych ward? What's going on? He looks like the night owl on any W. He's gone. All right, there you go.

There you go. We're just going to now, and if it's still going, Gabby, you're next. What? If the noise happens, it's still going Gabby you're next What? If the noise happens it's you it's not me. I have a professional microphone on it's not a professional. It's a fucking yeti relax It's gold though. It doesn't matter if it's gold. I don't even use my yeti anymore. That's how obsolete they are No That's good. Yes. Yes. Good. All right. So we're going to wrap this up. Thanks. I will be right away. Thanks for coming in. Oh, thank you so much. So where you left off was we haven't seen each other since the tape. Yes, since it. I don't.

I need to turn the audio. Okay. Holy shit. It's like doing a podcast with Catherine Hepburn. Where are. Bobby, did you have your get-together yesterday? We had to get together yesterday. It was a very small get-together. Did you not invite me again?

Whoa! Oh! Just fell out of his chair! Bobby, you didn't invite her twice? This is the second time you didn't invite me. Why not, Frozen? He looks like Mr. Freeze. Wake, move him.

He's faking it. No, he's not. He's frozen. No, he's not. He's blinking. Oh, that was good. Listen, Gabby. What's wrong with you?

I forgot. You piece of shit. I just do every day. Gabby, I'll tell you why. I couldn't throw a big one because Dom was like, we can't really, every time we throw a party, it could be $500,000. $2,000. I just don't have that fucking type of cash.

So Dom said just a couple of people because Ari and Joe list were like, hey, you know, you threw a party last time and blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, all right, well, I'll do another one. And then I invited Ari and his girl and Jo and his girl and Louis came and and then I invited

But I invited Keith Collin and Vos Because I got to I can't not invite them I know that they're not gonna come. I know Keith will come. Collin's never come. It's just not happening I did but I know that but he needs the invite. If I don't give him the invite, I feel like that's just wrong. I have to give him the invite just in case he comes. Voss, I'm giving the invite. I'm hoping he cancels, but you know, it's a 50-50.

Yes, today we lucked out. He didn't come. So, so, because then I gotta go get some type of turkey burger somewhere in a fucking I don't eat turkey anymore. I eat impossible burgers. Whatever the fuck he's impossible to come. So Oh boy, your little play on words fell flat And I invited Lewis Gomez and Lewis and you know because he comes up in James and his girl came so It was a limited run and Louis CK was there

Yeah, Louis shot. Whoa. Fine. You're important. You're bigger than Chappelle right now. I know, I felt bad for him. He got flown out to do Chappelle's thing and then he wound up in my backyard

with an in-text $350 pool and some hot dogs. Ha ha ha. Why do you feel, I would feel bad that he had to drive up with Joe list. Joe's a good kid. He opened for me the other night in Brooklyn. He's a good kid. I can't I hate do reg boss. He's a good kid. He's a good kid. What is this yenta hand? to hand. Moss would be a perfect just old just queen. Just an old queen column. Just do right on and see younger queers how to suck a dick and get guys. Just come on over my house. We'll shoot arrows in the basement. We'll go on the back porch and I'll tell you

how to get your cock sucked at a pool hall. My archery range is outside now. It's not the basement anymore. Please, I hope you slip and hit the neighbor's kid. Oh, my God. I just hope I can read about that. And Tifa, let's another fun. And 65 year old man shoot the neighbor's kid. He's all that went up again. You worse than Keith. 65 year old man

You're worse than key Jesus What is fucking happening? Because I couldn't get audio on my computer Jesus Christ. Colin. Did you touch it? Why is it keep falling? Because it's my boat, it's not my computer.

I had to take the, it's a long story. Oh, long story short. It's not a long story. I know. I feel like. Yeah, go ahead. Good. You don't want to talk.

Are you getting frustrated? I'm getting frustrated by two things. One is you guys are free flowing and it's not working for me. I want to just, I like it better when you go. So let's go. I was seeing each other since the shooting. I was like, good, you know I wanted to have a nice

Structured conversation for a change and then you enforce the hear riffing and it's just annoying me and it's put me I was in bed mood the minute my audio didn't work on my laptop and now I'm in a worst mode and now I'm in a worse mode. Well, I was trying, we were fucking ripping because your fucking camera keeps falling. Where is we have woe is more do stare at each other? We're ripping because it's a way for you to be functional. So I can work my way back to the original question, which was, yeah, my laptop's audio did work. It was, it is. I guarantee you to have fought. Which was I Was

I I got it in the default I'm not six fucking cold on zoom all day my audio was fine You know what you know what boss is right about you this new thing of thinking using is not zoom and I don't like it Yeah, and I have to agree with Colin I go I'm not gonna come on this podcast and just smash each other I like to talk I haven't seen people in a while Collins too smart of a guy to sit here this this isn't one of your fly-by-night fucking, you know Comics this is Colin. Let's discuss stuff. Let's talk about his brilliance is directing this guy directed a fucking special for HBO, but you rather fucking, you know Oh, and Joe Lisbrook, Louis CK shut the fuck up. We don't care

Now Colin boss you said that a mind you Say that he said it when he said who came okay, don't stick up for him. You can get fired no matter what. What I'm saying is Colin. And when I talked to Colin on the phone, I said to Colin, I go, Colin, were you a little nervous knowing that you had a direct and closer show after all these heavy hitters? And we have a nice discussion.

Go, Bobby, go. Ask him something. No, I was gonna sit go up. I'm gonna sit there. And we have a nice discussion go Bobby go ask him something You But you did it inside of the fucking out of my trash and people from each I Okay I don't know what you guys gonna do fucking male metapause I don't know what you can Jesus fall more times in Roman Empire. What the fuck? Well, they only saw one's really.

Shut up, don't correct your joke, man. What are you balancing it on toothpicks? Get up there. pinks. I'm glad you didn't tell me to get a book. I'd have to go into Bonnie's room. The fact that your wife has her own room just makes me sick to my stomach. Oh, God. Why do you have to lean into the camera? ¡Oh, God! ¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y-¿Y con volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca, espectacularismos, lincones de película y un sincindia aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid a Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros.

Volotea Sarifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. Anyways, I wanted to talk to him about the fucking he's gone. I wanted to talk to him about the show. Yeah. And because we were

yeah. Yeah. What are you doing? No, fucking can't just turn it. Go ahead. I wanted to talk to him about... Melissa.

Melissa is one of the ladybugs. So, I wanted to talk to him about the show because he's editing it now. But people don't realize that it's not stand up. It's stand up, but it's us fucking with each other. And there's so much mean vicious shit that happened that day. I just I'm wondering because he has to get transcripts. So he has to hear the shit that they're cutting out.

Do you know what I mean? Did you just spit into a barrel? No, I spit my gum out into my garbage. What was my gum? You're it's like you're like hanging out with an old Asian lady She's trapped inside my body Well, I'll tell you what was okay. Well, we taped this thing with special. I had to host it. I mean, I hosted it and I had to go up first, cold and all the comics were there going,

we bet against you. Or ready I was a nervous wreck. And then when I got like, but can I ask you a question? Were you really nervous? I was nervous nervous wreck. And then when I got like, what can I ask you a question? Will you really nervous? Whenever I do something like that, I get nervous so I get on stage. Once I'm up there, the nerves are gone.

But I go, is this the time where I piss myself or at all fall support? You know what I mean? You don't get nervous before you do tape stuff before you, I mean, it's only natural to get nervous, especially, and here's, and this sounds self-centered or egotistical, and it happens with you too.

We, our reputations are like we can't fail. We've been doing this long enough, where if you kill, they go, oh, we expected out of you. We've been doing this long enough where if you kill they go oh we expected out of you. We expect Bobby to kill. We expect Keith to kill Colin Norton. Everybody expects it. But if you have a bad set, just fucking listen when I was in LA and I was bombing that fucking upstairs at that gate, dang, cook is calling you back home, calling for us is bottom, right? Do you remember that back in the day? So we're expected to do well.

Yeah. We're held to a higher standard only because we've been doing it so long and we've done so many things. So yeah, that added pressure and going on first and it's light out and they're in their cars, you know, so well it's my first driving gig, which I can't believe I just said aloud. Yeah.

My first driving gig. And now add into the pressure cameras, add into the pressure HBO, add into the pressure that everybody on the show is a hammer, add into the pressure that, on the show is a hammer add into the pressure that you know You're I'm going last basically I mean Collins going last, but I gotta follow everybody You're going up first and that's we always pretty much have to go in those spots because of where we at But yeah, it's like look if I went up and bombed I don't think I don't think anybody cares.

I think at this point, and this may be, I think it annoys people that I pull it off. I think, we'll put him up last, cause he always kills. It's like, yeah, but I almost want to just start bombing just to get a fucking nice sweet spot. Yeah, I know. Yeah, he doesn't do good after people. Put him in the middle.

Put him right in the middle. You know, that would have been... You know, it's like... I did some club in Brooklyn the other night. Joe Liz, Griffon, what's his name? I know, it's like... But I have to close the show. And I knew it, driving it. They didn't tell me the order.

And I knew. But the good thing is, except for when we taped, well, like if we're doing a show in New York, then we got a closing every five to fifteen minutes, we could do extra time because we're closing, you know what I mean? So that's the good, that's the good thing is, you know, they all did twelve minutes. I did like twenty-two. I'm like fucking if I'm going to last, I'm going to do more time, you know. Yeah, I don't give a fuck. I really don't give a fuck anymore to be able to see you. Yeah, so you used to it.

I know that they're gonna fucking throw me up last or something. I try to sneak on that where I can. I was at the stand a couple weeks ago, preparing for the HBO thing. Yeah. And then I knew that I was trying to put me up. And I went in and I go, put me up next. And then I was like, I don't, I should ask. I don't ask anybody, just fuck go put me up next Yeah, and I was like I don't I should ask I don't ask anybody just fucking put me up

Who you asking I'm telling you you know, I mean and he put me up after dumb Keith and then you came in But I try to speak on once in a while. I don't give a fuck anymore I mean it really doesn't it really doesn't I don't want to unless I'm hosting. I don't want to go first You don't want to be you know what I mean, it really doesn't, it really doesn't. I don't want to, unless I'm hosting, I don't want to go first. You don't want to be, you know what I mean? Just a story. When Rodney Jamesfield was doing a young comedian specials, Otto and George, who is a ventrola quiz act,

if you don't know him, and he was filthy, filthy act, but funny, funny. Do you know who he is, Gabby? No. About vague, like the name is familiarish. Well, familiarish? familiarish? Just say familiarish. Just annoying with her verbiage bugs me.

I don't know. Do you know any of his talent? Tell Gabby one of his jokes. Well, I don't know. He's to go. He, you know, he, he is a ventrull of question. He goes, after the show, we're going to go to macy's and fuck mannequins or whatever. I don't know. He used to go, you know, he used a ventriloquist and he goes, everything show we're going to go to macy's and fuck mannequins or whatever. I don't know. So, but okay. So Rodney dangerous feels doing the young comedian special and I was on it. But Rodney goes, I want to see you one more time, you know, and they brought him up to catch the rising star. Okay. Up in New York, and catch the rise of the star was D Club in Manhattan.

And they put him on first. You can't put him on first. He's too dirty. And he had a tough time and Ronnie goes, oh, I don't know, kid. And I was, fuck you, y'all drunk. But who's on it, the puppet? No, well, the puppet voice.

I mean, he was doing street comedy, and he's holding a puppet. And he got a Puerto Rican guy stabbed him. And without missing a beat, the puppet goes, the spick stabbed me. Right. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the Let's find a gabby. Go find yourself. I'm trying not to get canceled. I canceled. I didn't say it. I'm I'm repeating what someone said. It's not you. It's not vaus. It's a comment from back of the day as well. It's a classic story. Everybody knows it's fun.

Oh my god. What a fucking. Did he stab? He really got stabbed? He's not the puppet. The dummy. He stabbed the dummy. The dummy stabbed the dummy I The fucking Man, he was funny. I remember he came in and did black night at Boston comedy on Sundays Oh boy, he'd be like he went on stage. He haven't seen a black girls pussy looks like a wallet Did they laugh they left they fucking room blue up, dude They fucking room blue up dude It's a puppet It's a guy who the puppet the Jersey accent you know

His lips move more than the puppet. Oh, he was I look like it looked like two puppets. I Saw his lips move on the CD. I can't believe like him and who's the other guy kept on him. They're ventriloquist, but they have CDs. We don't even know if the puppet is there. Okay. A ventriloquist is not allowed to have a CD. That is so true.

What a scam. That's funny, You're right. Uh, so it must be simple hard. Uh-oh. What? Moush just came. What are you doing? Moush? What? I have an auto and George video to some of the noise is, uh, Vos Truin is gum. Oh, I change headphones in a little better and i can i was part of the problem let's watch what you got a video of him you know he's saying that you had your gum chewing is making the noise

uh... it's got no well chat is mad at me who's not because i'm not laughing listen i'm trying to be on a bc next pilot season okay i have to act shocked sometimes. Oh Can you hear me? Yes We're talking about the filming Yes

And I'm talking about the lineup and we were telling you you remember the auto and George story when the dummy got stabbed I don't know in your story when your dummy got stabbed. Yeah, it's a classic story. So I told the story and Gabby, me and Bobby are laughing and Gabby's like, oh my God, you know, this generation is fucking done. I was just like this. Oh, yeah, I'm thinking the tattoo guy was coming back in. Fuck you. No, boss.

You fucking look like a blow up doll. was coming back in. You fucking look like a blowup doll. You think she saw it because she was shocked by some guy stabbing next to Otto and crashing a dummy with a knife. No, she she was upset because the dummy with wait, after the dummy got stabbed, didn't miss a bit those the spec stab me. And the dummy's voice. Right after he got stabbed in a misabent goes the spec stab me. And the dummy's voice right after he got stabbed. So we won't wait. Ha ha ha.

Okay, Quinn even stopped laughing. He has a deal going on right now with CBS. Yeah, CVS getting his medication Go to the drive to want a city bike It was too much it was too much the last moment I laugh It was like an image job, but it didn't really click So we were about the lineups on the on the on your taping that you directed who made the lineup? Did you make was that you that made the lineup or was it a HBO or me and Becky made it together? But now you say I didn't go last, but I technically went last.

No, technically you didn't, but you went last, yes. I'm not technically, I did technically didn't go last, but I went last is the way I meant to say you're right. Right. I went last. You told me I said I don't want to go last. I begged you not to put me last. I begged you for what did you like. I am turning 50 this year. Could I please, you're my friend, one of my great friends of all time, all time. Would you please give me a sweet spot? Just give me the Norton spot. I want your knees. And you're like, we'll see what we can do. We'll see what you're doing.

I showed up that night and on camera, you went, you're going up last, buddy. You should be proud to go up last. Yes. Who the fuck says that? Collin's history. Do you think, you know who they remember on the show? They remember the host that holds it all together. They remember the guy that goes last.

And they remember the director and the real last guy. That's who they remember. You know, when you go, you know, any great movie, you know, the director, you know, and I mean, like if you walk him, well, yeah, because you know, he's my love about these guys came in and they did whatever to open to get the show. They're so stupid. They're still concentrating on the spots. No, you wouldn't withstand a comedy show.

You can do that and see it a million times. They came in and we got all this backstage. People were killing each other, miserable. It was one of the greatest, I mean, it was close. So a couple of things missing, but it was one of the greatest, everybody brought exactly what I was hoping would happen. People came in. Are you a said, Bobby, was that?

Are you allowed to tell them what can't go in, what you told me on the phone about, you told me to go after somebody and I did, but you said I'll never air it. But what, how long are you blaming me? No, don't bring it up because, you know. All right, it's probably fine, but who knows? You want to see that's your problem.

You want to ruin things before they even happened. Are you talking to me? Yes. I'm fucking kill. That's exactly what I mean. Yes. He's the hint that I'm talking to you. I said you ruined things before they happened. Now look at you. Do you think I'm talking to you. I said you ruined things before they happened. Now look at you

Here. Do you think I'm talking to you? Hey listen to me. They call me longevity, baby. What I'm trying to say Gabby Gabby is just facial expressions. I know. Yeah I'm listening Yeah, just think Gabby as funny as it is now someday you'll probably end up you'll be old at marriage or a compilation of us great. That's horrible. Why would you curse me like that? What are you talking about? You'd be so lucky. Yeah, I know.

And he's going to pray as penis is Keith. And that marrying some like comic from Brooklyn that, you know, whatever, you know what I'm saying. He's going to read the, and the wedding he's gonna read his vows from the piece of paper on the stool. Yeah, I can hear it. Now he's gonna move out to Jersey and be like, hey, I'm from Brooklyn,

because he's bailed on New York City right now. He's probably living in two towns away from you. What town do you live in? I live in, me? Oh, I live in Brooklyn. What's that? I live in Brooklyn. Oh, you do? Yeah. Did you know Bobby was closing right from the beginning? You knew he was going, I mean, you closed. I knew. I knew Bobby was closing, yes.

But Keith could have close to easily. You said you were gonna try. But part of what I was trying to do on the show is explain to people the inside workers of comedy. I tried it. Yeah, I tried it. Everybody just give me a signal on the stage when they throw the joke and go,

that well, nobody did it. That's the only thing about the show that I regret. We can't tell you why. You never told me that. I never heard that. I, nobody did it. That's the only thing about the show that I regret. We can't tell you why. You never told me that, I never heard that. I got to get rid of it. And I write the face. No. What is a signal?

I have no bill, boys. I've been told not going well. Beautiful night tonight. Well, I probably didn't realize this. First of all, I know they all went well because no cars drove out and drove away when I was on. So, boss, you owe it was a little tight up in the first beginning. It was a little tight, but still it was light out. And I did get a little bit of a

little bit of a little tight, but still it was light out. And I did get a little bit of a little tight up in the first beginning. And I did get a little bit of a little tight up in the first beginning. You know, we're going to see this on TV, right? Not that you can see a minute of my standup you fucking idiot with the program. Then we in calling got to tell you what this whole fucking thing's about. It's not that it's not evening at the improv you jackass. It's fucking headliners backstage doing what we do. Holy fuck. That's why you had to go last because you're stupid.

It took you a while to catch on. Jesus Christ. Why do I do this stuff? I like how he just, he talked what I said earlier just wrong. I like the other. I like the other common compliment AA meaning or something. I'm talking about when you go last, which Bobby does less a lot, it's interesting to the audience, in my opinion,

to see what the challenge is of going last. So he always goes last, he knows better than anybody. But the other thing, it's not a challenge because what he doesn't know, he's last. But why didn't you? Well, why didn't you? I thought you were gonna be getting interviews as we went on and off stage.

So I'm gonna go back. Logistically, as I'm saying, logistically, I wish I could have done another show and had other people doing that stuff. You know what I mean? There's too much going on and once and then one of me back with you guys because apparently the flow was, you you go and the camera kept moving

You know, I mean, there's a lot of shit going on. I wasn't working. I Wanted to be back stage. I wanted to be in the other place, but it was you know, it was it was was it something different I'm different. I'm different. It's a lot of it didn't I thought you did was perfect I thought we do it's perfect. I thought we did was perfect. I've worked on a lot of movie sets and I know, look, you're not gonna hire a guy this year. You haven't worked on a lot of movie sets. Are you crazy?

No, yes. Yes, Al Pacino has worked on a lot of movie sets. I've worked on a lot of movie sets. That bit has worked on a lot of movie sets. You fucking haven't even walked by a lot of movies listen Something white the Velcro for the college idiotio let him talk go You go what are you gonna say oh? What's gonna say so Bobby has closed a lot of shows.

And a lot of rooms. Ah. Ah. You didn't hear me call him the white Level Crawford? Go ahead. He's laughing at that, how can I be a bitch? So call me a bitch, you bitch So call me a bitch So the point is it's it's I think it's very interesting to be honest But they didn't even think in terms of like going last from for like they don't think in those terms

They just watch the show there's a million times when people come up to you go Every guy before he was good you guys were both good. It like yeah he did 20 I did an hour and 10 you know like they don't so it is true on the road nothing I averaged me more when someone will come up to some dude who did 20 minutes of his best shit he's been doing for 10 to 15 years and they go oh I liked you the best did you I? I was up different hour and 10. It's my fifth hour. I was talking about my life. This is like, I can talk to those turtles. Nothing that aggression we always want that person sells more CDs than me. The fact is what really makes you made is that middle

like degrees with the people like, I know, I usually headline. is that middle-aged degrees with the people like I know I usually headline. I headline on Thursdays and Mondays. Oh god. Sundays. And when I was a middle-aged guy, when I was a middle-aged guy, listen, well, why go back right before the pandemic? Let's talk about what's going on now. When I was a middle-aged, I was the same way. I was an asshole with don't like I blew that headliner up the state like you. Yeah, I would think that too. Hey, let me ask you a question. Do you think? Do you think you

got what you you needed to make a great show? Yes. Yes. I mean, yes, I think how is everybody feeling about it? Well, I don't know. I'm just waiting for the rough cut, but all the transcripts stuff. You know, everybody always says everything positive about everything when they first, oh my god, it's going to be great.

You know what I mean? And then you know when it's going bad, it's not even listen. We want to, we love it. We just want to see if we can get more, if there's another bit we can get out of the, and then suddenly, you know when people start to get panicking, but everyone loves it, but I don't trust it, so I wanna see the whole thing, you know.

Have you seen some of the footage, though? You see some of the footage. And if they can, it's great and the audio does more worried about the audio catching it than anything else. How does the transition look from you know from earlier to later in the show? Oh look. It moves the back. It's beautiful. Beautiful. All the stage stuff looks beautiful. Yeah. Was it nice or visually during the day or was it nice or visually during the night? Yeah during during the dusk it was a little bit like more you could see more but I mean the whole thing was great. I mean that stuff I'm not even worried about but you know I mean like I said

it's really that backstage interaction that made it, you know, just the showing up and everybody came in, he said that happened. Bobby came in with Keith and they started lighting it up and it was great. And that was worried his voice wasn't there yet. And I'm saying, our voice is going to come in and he might be out of sync because he hasn't been, you know, they've been here for an hour. Everybody's rolling, it was great. Then voice and Bonnie came in and they were on fire. And then it was, the whole thing was just great.

Yeah. Can we somehow edit everybody out and just keep me, Bonnie, Keith and Bobby? And you know what I mean? And you know, the other people are funny too. Yeah, but I know, you know, they'll have your day. What I'm trying to say is, you know, we can use them as kind of like cameos extra. What, what did you get Chris to staff and I'm doing plugging high in is?

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Look, you know Chris, right? Yeah. Yeah. Chris played it perfectly just away plays life. Like you guys do break my balls. I'm Chrissy D, it's fine. You know what I mean? Just that I'm in the game, but, you know,

I'm a little bit young and cocky, good looking. So, you know, who's perfect? You play with him. He can dip his toe in and still get away with it. It's inferior. Yep, it is a fearing how you're absolutely around about Chrissy D successful, young, good looking guy with wide hips.

We're walking in with four and 30 punches like this and he just jabs on the ground. Because he knows. He did. Bobby, if wide hips gives you a career, come on. I don't have white hips, I'm fat. You're not fat. You're not.

I don't have white hips. You have nice hips. No, the Chris D has wide hips. Your hips are sure for hip apodamus. I'm on fire. I wish you were. Wish your house was. I'm on fire. I wish you were So now when is when is this supposed to come out calling?

I mean, I think they want to do it. They want to release it soon. There's a lot of people are shooting stuff now Yeah, you have in heart Not that we're competing with them, but Kevin Hots doing a special Where he's doing I Be gave us on a rooftop or something or Keith told me about once and then Who knows what you know, I mean we I'm sure that the luck coming out How is it she Chipel doing on? Chipel might be doing a series. They had all those, you know,

stars out there that probably doing 10 of them. So yeah, but are they filming all of them? Yeah, they're filming everything. But so you get to sign a waiver and they'll, they film you? I don't know. I hope you don't do it. You just't know. I heard you made a deal. He's been invited.

What's that? Yeah. Why? He's been invited. You haven't been invited? No. Why? Lost a view?

Maybe I turned it down. Uh... Well, first of all, I thought people just dropped in there. I didn't know you had to be invited. I think you have to be invited. Yeah, you can't just show up at Chipel's house. Yeah.

Oh, I thought it was just, I don't know, people are driving through and stop by. I don't fucking know. Now that's going to be, that's the only believable part is that you would be driving through central Ohio. Oh God. He's leaving. Where are you going now?

Come on. You guys have a band of issues. Sorry. Sorry. We all can't broken homes and broken friendships. I'm not going to be a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more

than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little abandonment issues. Sorry, sorry we all kind broken homes and broken friendships. When I was a kid, me, my brother and sister, we were like, you know, kids and my mother took us to my grandparents on my father's side, knocked on the door and said, I don't want them, take them. That's kind of an abandonment issue right there. Sure, that's a spark. You know, I apologize. I know, that's a right. I'll just go on Amazon and buy something

and cover the pain later. I can't stop buying shit on it. I just bought a T-Cup. I bought dual locks that you can use the same key. One question. How can I get trashed? Dervidly, my horrible, internet presence. The voice, have his head is cut off this whole show. And I have to stand there because at least we can hear him.

And as he hasn't dropped out seven times. I'm going to look at Mark on Mac. What do you guys? What do you think of my background? The picture of the books. Very smart. Thanks. Very smart.

I think it looks set up and it's fucking awkward looking. Who's a picture? Who's that Neil Brennan? Who's that picture? That's Neil. What a force in the business. He really is. That's you, right? That's Colin behind. Yeah. Yeah. That girl took this picture. I met her when she was nine. And she can't. Her grandmother brought up to this MTV thing.

Oh, okay. All right. She always comes to my show. She always got a new skill. She's a painter. All right. Jeffrey. Hold on. She always tells my show. She always got a new skill. She's a painter. She's a poet. And she's a musician. She always got something wrong.

What did you work on an island? What do you mean? I was just tagging Voss's joke. No, I wasn't saying Epstein. I was saying. Oh, he said, okay, Jeffrey. And I said, does he work on an island? What's that?

This special is gonna be, in my dream, we'd be doing that stuff all the time. It was nothing's funnier, you know, than when we all get together. Yeah, but people, I agree with you and I think fans agree with you. But why do other comics not like being trashed? Because they're thin skinned and it's a different generation. They sit and compliment each other all night and we made each other hard and funny. Well, was that a bad thing? Should we have sat around and helped each other become successful and have good self-esteem

and confidence? Or should we have made a front of my pants and fatness, call in thin fingers and bosses, stupid teeth and norin fucking suck and feck her? Should we and eat dumbness. Should we maybe help each other more and we'd be more successful. I wouldn't be in a shed. You wouldn't be in a basement and Colin wouldn't have to talk to us. Okay. Here's the other thing. We are very people looking at we're very successful and here's what people yes yes yes, we are if you look at you

You're used behind you. Let's if you look at your body will work. Yeah, I have an acre of property But I think there's not a lot. I mean It's not a lot for you. It is not a lot for me. It's perfect Not a lot. What how long is it? If you were grazing the end of your property It's not a lot if you were grazing in the end of your property, it's not a lot. If you were grazing in my backyard, you know how long it would take for you. It would be illegal to have me grazing. You need at least five acres.

I prefer, first of all, so you want to fuck it. I'm not making fun of me. I say, listen to me. You're not successful. You're out of your mind. You're successful to Gabby. Well, that's a start. No, the truth is you were your do reg and reading glasses you got from right aid. I got it from the dollar store. Did you this voice? You know, I'm very successful.

I'm, are you kidding me? I go on stage, comics flock in the room to watch. That's quite cool. You're an unsuccessful person. No, success. Let me tell you something. I put two daughters through college. I fucking, um, listen to me. I was a cracker. I was a drug addict and you

Say you know help okay You want me to bring out my ring collection Yes, yes, I want to Yes Yes Anyhow if you don't I can't I'm in his car and is very successful Obviously bring your rings we want to see your ring I'm a million times I took a lot of Yeah, but how many sneakers do you have?

I don't have like 50 pairs of sneakers and I have four rings, four diamond rings. Well, diamond rings. But this one doesn't shine for me anymore. How many Rolexes? Do you got that? Did you get that? Yeah. Good. Come on? Did you get that? Did you get that? Good. You want to get me? Huh? It's all generation.

Yes. How many of you see, Bobby? Did you guys just do a Motown reference? No. What was that? It was Gary Puckett in the Union gap. You fucking jackass. How am I? How am I a jackass? Because I don't know Gary Puckin and the unit Are Gary loosen the playboys. Yeah, sorry. It was Gary loosen the playboys One I only have one and I have a Swiss army walk a nice one That's my second watch. That's nice. It's nicer than most people. A Swiss ARMY watch? A good one. What does that mean? A good one. A good one. I can't be a good one if their main product is a knife. That's like saying I got a good the entire watch. It's a good one. There it is. What a

crap. Yeah, Gary looks like a playboy. Yeah, Gabby, that will probably invite your dad to stop playing with me. Yeah, you guys look like Vos looks like the drummer and Colin looks like the bass player. Don't you want to get the singer? Jerry Lewis, you son, Gary Lewis. Yes, and he used to be in the band, Dino Desi and... Dino Desi, you know?

And he went to Vietnam, he wouldn't be a nun. All right, whatever. Now we can talk. Dessie was Dessie on this son. Dino was Dean Martin's son. And who was who Billy was a? No, I don't know who that was. Yeah.

Dino, Dessie and Billy, how about that? Take that to the bank. Yeah. What are you, are you a re-sang still? What's Are you a recent? Are you using old saying still? Oh, yeah, yeah, I write you Jack and I. Oh, well, call it. Colin, do you have a nice watch? No, well, I've been okay one.

What is yours? I don't know. I don't wear it anymore. I bought it. I got it with you. Remember when you went and bought it? No. Well, it's an ors, right? Is it an ors? Well, yeah, but I think I, that was before, that was before I got it on the watch after that. Oh, you got it. He walked, I remember those, that's when I was so, He walked, I remember that was, that's when I was so fucking star struck. I was walking with Colin and we just went into Torno and he walked up and bought like a $4,000 watch.

And I was like, I think I had $20 to my name. I had to, I had no money. I couldn't really eat. And I remember I was just fucking dumb. I was like, wow. He just went in and bought something. I fucking watch and threw it on his wrist and he walked out and he had the dumb box and I had the receipt and he was, like, he was walking out, like, he had a big mac in his hand.

Like, he didn't even give a fuck about it. Did you keep, did you sell it? It really bugs voice this story, and that's why I love it. It's just the fact that he's walking down fucking memory lane about a watch. Nobody cares. Nobody fucking, let's get back to, let directors talk, filmmakers.

You're not a fucking director. I'm a filmmaker. What I did was, I looked at the film almost as a ballet. What? It was a Corona ballet. You know, so the movement was circular. Obviously the camera guys as they ignored me have to goddamn shoot. And you guys see when I was getting irritated during

the shoot too. Yeah what was that about? Because the audio was out when you guys were saying some funny stuff and I was getting so mad that it was missing the audio. I couldn't even believe it happens but I guess that happens all the time. But I was so mad because I think you would trash me somebody or something. I think I want to get that. And the audio is down kind of like the audio tonight. My, my computer. And I was so mad about that, but

there's nothing I can do. It was now. So we missed. Well, we didn't miss. I've been on a bunch of sets. And that happens a lot. I've been on a lot of sets more than boss. And I've been on I've been on way more movie sets than you. No, I've worked on it. I sat next to Scott Rootin for a whole movie.

Do you know who that is? Yeah, but in the movie theater, no, you fucking idiot. Is Scott Rootin, you met him a few times, right? You know, he's an overtoker. He's got. Yes. The movie Swimming with Sharks is based on him. Right.

Oh, that's him. They're agent. Is he annoying? Based on. Well, he was nice to us, because we were to write. We were helping right. So he, you know, he'd left it our stuff because, you know, he's not hanging around comics and he was sitting next what's that who's

we on that one I think it was me Jeff Joseph I don't know if it was Vega I don't use me you go to Chris rock did you kind of bend over like a like a surf torch in a king like his my notes no listen listen to me okay I don't want to say anything negative towards you until this special comes out. What I'm trying to say is okay. We, you know, if we had an idea, we would throw it to him between between takes, you know, between takes Bob, that's one of the cameras. I know more than you. I have more shows. I mean I've been more money in fucking TV and film than you've ever made. That's not true. I worked on two Oscars and I don't have to pay for medical. I get it through

sad because I made money. Yes. Let me tell you. Kissing up. Go ahead. Did you have a chair? Listen up. Go ahead. Did you have a chair? Who me? Yes you yes, and not only have a chair on the Oscars my gift basket was worth more than everything You've ever lived for the rest of our fucking lives What's that basket and it's not it wasn't made for him. It was for everybody else He just got one cause well. We all got one got one cause we all got one over the right. That's like when they I was backstage at two Oscars. You're a fucking key grip. I mean, so Colin went, I mean, I mean, I can't take him anymore. He's fucking the stupid Oscar basket thing for the rest of our lives. I'm not a Oscar bass. It was a swag bag.

You can't wait to put one on your casket. A nice Oscar basket. It's an Oscar gift bag. You fucking moron. Not a Oscar basket. It wasn't Easter eggs in it. You locked out. You locked out Chris needs help. It was calling or anybody else. You wouldn't you wouldn't have ever been there. Chris needed you. You're lucky. Yeah. He didn't need me. Yeah. He did. He needed ten of you. Listen you do you want to move it too what's that did you work on sandals movie also yes not as an actor hey Bobby I'm first at all I'm first at all okay I can

act I can write I don't know if you saw me in the in the king of Staten Island knock it out of the park maybe you didn't see it I don't know I have I want to know did he knock it out of the park. Maybe you didn't see it, I don't know. I want to know, did he knock it out of the park, Colin? And King of Staten Island? Yes. It was the beginning of something funny,

but then we just cut away. And the sad thing is, I had a pay for to watch it. Did you? Yeah. I had it. I didn't give you a copy. No, I bought it. We boughted on demand

You know Oh shit, all right. Well, when is this coming out do you think when before before the election? election mid October. Ooh, my birthday is in October. What? What's your birthday? October. I'll be 50. Wow.

Are you going to have a party? No, I already have the last party. Why are we invited? You won't be invited anyways, but I'm worried about that. Yeah, I want to be happy. I had a small party. It was just everyone you know. Oh, Gabby, you can come to any party I have.

You always say that, but then you don't tell me the day. What am I supposed to just arrive at your house and assume you're having a party? It's not a loathing. One day you'll be right. It'll be the party. What the fuck? I'm coming over on Wednesday.

Is there a party on Wednesday? Am I walking into a party? I will throw a little party for you Wednesday. We invited you to our barbecue, Gabby. You didn't come. That's true. I was gonna come and I went up state instead. Sorry.

It was a great barbecue. Yeah. I know. I would've eaten a lot of the most of the burgers with you. Bob, you're going like this. It was for my first barbecue. It was pretty good. I mean, I'm the burgers with him. Bob, you're going like this. It was for my first barbecue was pretty good. I mean, I'm the first one I guess, but you know. Why do you invite Chrissy?

It's not like, it's not like my barbecues. You didn't invite my brother, Chrissy, did the barbecue either? No, Chrissy does not get an invite. I invited him two times. I'm having more and more. I did. Let me call him. Chris do not get an invite I invited him two times Let me call fuck him fuck him fuck him Chrissy D will never get an invite to anything I do personally again. I invite him twice and he oh yeah Thanks thanks thanks cuz thanks. All right cuz you're the best. Oh, yeah

Definitely coming and then you just never called best. Oh, yeah, I'm definitely coming and then you just never called you Oh, dude, I'm sorry. I had a fucking this hair product I use that it comes from Australia It came in at the fucking right aid down the shed. I could I had the guy hold it for me because he knows my uncle And you know because he was back on my father back in the day when they used to do weird stuff But now one time he came in and he got me this cream They used to use and then I got it and it holds my hair. I'm just right because I can't all this stuff. I can't really use it. I get anxiety about it. So it really helps me not deal with the anxiety because I really try to just spend time with my daughter and be a good dad. We might get back together. I don't know where I'm

staying. How do you like it up there? Should I move up there? All right. Like, shut up. I invited to Rosin. He goes, can I bring Chris? I go, yeah, I wouldn't invite him, Chris, but I didn't have his number. So I sent to Derosa, definitely, because he was on the B list. And I sent to Derosa, Brungham. And, you know, because we got down to the B list.

And he never showed up. He said he was coming with Derosa. Would you go with Derosa somewhere? To buy Derosa a bride, go bride. Ha ha ha. Yeah, Derosa, Derosa's titties are getting sexual. Like, like they're actually, he was at Skanks last week and he showed up with a white t-shirt.

God, he's telling something. There's only fucking five people in the world that with a white t-shirt. God, let me tell you something. There's only fucking five people in the world that can wear white t-shirts as men, okay? And he's not one of them. And he showed up and I swear to God, I was feeling something in my, my, my, my never-at-the-regions. Those are like fresh, those are fresh 18 year old volcano titties Yeah, he has like track star like Olympic track titties And he's got the like kind of like brown skin too. He's like a And yeah, you'd be you'd be you'd be grabbing him on a chicken bus. And the way he's hunched over his titties look like there should be a national geographic.

Sorry. Sorry, boy. Sorry, that's a graphic. You don't understand. Well, you say something like that, and I'm in the room. We both, everybody's looking at us both and going, you're both old. All right, sorry.

I'm in the room. So, he has better titties than gaffer. Oh, Jesus. That's our speaker, that of my boobs. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Look at that. He's dating a tattoo artist now.

He looks like he's from a, he looks like he's from a who-ville. Where the fuck is that? I don't know. Oh my God. Oh, yeah. He's got nice titties. Oh, yeah. So, all right.

So, Miloktober., has there been anything in there that you were like, oh, shit, this is fucking off. This is going to be great. I, I can't wait for people to see this. Well, I mean, it all depends on how we cut it, but it's, there's so much stuff in there that I wanted, I wanted to be, because we want to be, it's all of it combined has to be. That in there that I want it. I wanted to be because we wanted it. It's all of it combined has to be. That's what I loved about it.

It was for the minute you guys all showed up. It started to do what I wanted to do. I was really, I just hope it just, I hope it reads on camera. And then I hope people understand it too, you know. Right. Do you think we'd have to go back in and maybe do some, some VO work? No. No, but, you know. Right. You think we'd have to go back in and maybe do some, uh, some

VO work? No, no, we're going to have a little premiere party anywhere. Yeah. That might be fun. Let's do it at the seller. Yeah. So we're outside. Now the village underground. Is Gabby invited? What's that? That was an attack. That was an attack against me. Mushko is a Gabby invited? Ah! Ah! That's a good idea. We should have a premiere at the thing.

Yeah, that's a great idea. Yeah. I know it was your idea. God, you need fucking love. Thank you. All right, Colin. Well, thank you for, I mean, I really, I don't know if anybody said this to you,

but thank you for involving me in that. Because it was really... Well, when anybody would say that, thanking him for involving you, you would have to say that. We all thank him. But he said, I'm saying, he said that he knows there was nothing but ingratitude, omoria. Right.

Thank you, Bobby. Thank you, welcome, Colin. I love you. Thank you for letting me be part of something that you direct your your directorial debut with HBO. You could have chose 19 other people, but you you chose me. And I hope I hope I carried the torch. I hope I did my job. Thank you very much. Thank you. Listen, I'm just thinking about what's next for us. Where are we going to go from here?

Yeah, it's called the nursing home. You and Colin listening to all these at noon. I'm very sick. I'm rocking. Listen, all of us are going to be elbowing each other to middle for dance. So it's sold jolls by next year. Don't talk about my manager like that. I'm putting on my eggs and Gabby's basket. I'm gonna ride her fucking fame.

Yeah, yeah, that's why you're invited to the next party Gabby. Thank you and I'll, uh, the next summer. Next summer? Get take all your eggs back. Get them out. I call it. Okay. Thank you so much. Oh, what is that? You got any gigs coming up or anything? You're like, oh, yeah, I know. My book. I was getting you up to say that Is that all the copies of it over there? Yeah, I? Just want to say now here we go tell us about it. It's funny You said that because I literally was gonna say I shouldn't put out too many copies

There's all my friends gonna be like yeah, I've been here to free one. I know it's a huge thing. I buy them. I buy your books. You do. Boss. And I buy tickets to his shows. I know.

I know. What's your favorite book? You'll like this. Bonnie buys all of your books, okay? So in our house. What's that? What's that? I've only had one book. How did you buy one my book? I bought a book you and I bought one you At your one-man shell you had another book there and I bought cheat

Not in a book of my one-man shell. Oh, maybe it was a shirt. She was Bonnie Bonnie oh, yeah, you bought cheat the book. Yeah, the book was just, Bonnie text me today and goes, Oh, there's a stock that's supposed, we never bought stock in our life. Now, we spent $75 a share. And she got this email or something. She goes, let's buy these stocks. I go, we don't know anything about, and she goes, I'm going to take all the money I made from the HBO thing and buy, buy this stock. Yeah. Uh, and I don't know anything about fucking she goes I'm gonna take all the money I made from the HBO thing and buy by the stock Yeah, and I don't know anything about do you guys know anything about stocks?

What do you do? What stock is it? Huh? What stock is it? I don't know I know I know Your lines are funny Bonnie She's probably downstairs sewing aren't you you almost you a line stock anyway? Well, that wasn't bad. I like that one. You know, a lot of us stock. Yeah. Don't stop. I'm a fucking cow joke.

I would never say a cow. I'm not. Listen, you I make fun of you. Sometimes you make fun of my age and my stupidity. That's what we do. But you get on the side. There's nothing I wouldn't do for two out of three people on this podcast Daddy Colin, Gavin Colin anything you need Listen I As a talent already

Colin as a fellow author because you've written a book right I've written a book. Yeah, I Guess born you're right excuse me My food Hello What but you and you and two other guys wrote that book? Yeah, I have a road I have to go pick up my food. I'll see you guys later. Thank you again.

You have to pick up your food. All right, listen, I love you. Pick up more. Pick up. All right, God forbid you're fucking rich and tidal white guy. Then all you come down, you got to have me. You got to take an elevator. Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm not gonna talk about that. I'm gonna talk about that. I'm gonna talk about that. I'm gonna talk about that. I'm gonna talk about that.

I'm gonna talk about that. I'm gonna talk about that. I'm gonna talk about that. I'm gonna talk about that. I'm gonna talk about that. I'm gonna talk about that. I'm gonna talk about that. I'm gonna talk about that.

I'm gonna talk about that. I'm gonna talk about that. I'm gonna talk about that. I'm gonna talk about that. I'm gonna talk about that. I'm gonna talk about that. I'm gonna talk about that. I'm gonna talk about that.

I'm gonna talk about that. I'm gonna talk about that. I'm gonna talk about that. I'm gonna talk about that. I'm gonna talk about that. I'm gonna talk about that. I don't know why it is a CD. I just come out the 22nd. All right. It comes out the 22nd. And the audio book, I think he already did all, he actually did the audio book, which would be great to get that. I'll probably get that. It would be great to just listen to Colin struggle through his own book.

By, you know, you go to work. And then the American, you go to work. Anyway, as I said, as I wrote it, who cares? What book do you have, boss? The Book of Hornox. I used to write a book. You used to write a book about the life. I was thinking, I don't know.

So many people want to help and do it. How many people? I had a book company called me and I had a meeting with them. They were going to do it. But then I had to send them this whole, you know, like synopsis of what it would be. And I bailed right there. But I have Bonnie help you for God's sake. I got six CDs.

You're right. I'm going to write a book. I'm going to have a book instead of a dumb CD nobody has a CD player. I'm gonna make a new CD about but this one is just gonna be true stories of My life and comedy from when I did drugs and comedy to it to now just write that down and then print that That's right. I'd rather have some CDs. Oh God. Anyways, what else do you got for us? Thanks for coming on tonight. So I always have fun. September 26, myself and Jim Florentine, East Brunswick Square Mall, go to Uncle Vinnie's Comedy Club and get your tickets there. Uncle Vinnie'scombyclub.com September 26, me and Florentine, East Brunswick Square Mall.

Hopefully at some point, all four of us will be back together doing some type of shows. And I'm sure it's online. I just read booked one of them. We booked Riru. I don't know if you get the email. We re-booked one of them and we booked another one. I think we re-booked two of them.re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re- Some guy I was talking to added a clear blue goes I Watched you and Bobby backstage when Bobby was eating a sandwich and he said you watch a bunch of clips He said they were the funniest you you shot somebody the funniest stuff back there. I hope you

Have it all you should turn that into something all the stuff you filmed. I maybe I will but I mean We would we built up such momentum with that tour. Maybe I will, but I mean, we built up such momentum with that tour. We had such, I mean, the behind the scenes shit, the show started to sell out. I mean, the crowds, the fans, the merch. I mean, our host in Boston was electric. I mean, everything, Chicago was fucking nuts. Boston was electric. I mean, everything Chicago was fucking nuts.

It was crazy. I mean, nothing stopped us. The lights went out. The lighting, the guy brought in a lightning package, then took it away and brought it to another gig, a better gig, and left us a good one. And then it went out, and the guy was yelling at the guy about it, and he goes,

I'll fucking walk, man. This is a little nerdy lighting guy. Oh, fucking walk. And I'll fucking leave you in the dark mother fucker. And I have to grab the guy to do it. We need this. That happened in Chicago. That happened in Chicago.

You know, dude, the shit I, yeah, and I had to talk Aaron down and I had a two, please, I go, please, can you just get us some lights Just some lights and he's like I'll try but I don't want to be fucking with me Crazy he didn't walk out but some lady walked out what I was on Great story fucking walked out in I mean literally our fans and walked out in, I mean, literally our fans. They're fans of us. And two minutes in, they got up a thousand people in the, a thousand people.

It was packed to the guilds. And, and they, they're gonna walk out. On a show with Florentine and me. And, and Ron. It's called Creeps with Kids. Creeps. And they walked out because they said he was racist. And then I was like, no, there's no way.

And I listened to his first seven minutes. And I go, watch his racist, yeah. I'm so far from right. It's so funny though though. You did my The late The lady probably has no Minority friends and that my whole life was surrounded with minority friends and where I grew up and it's so funny how people in the audience Or online or on Twitter they come to these conclusions

without knowing anything. And it's sad what's happening to people. Anyhow, hopefully it'll be back tonight with hilarious. Just remember 26. I'm nervous. So tell me some of these. I'm gonna check them out. I mean, literally, I mean, he,

one of the funniest motherfuckers around, I can't wait to get back with Creeps of Kids just to be on tour again. And we're having so much fun, you stealing the craft services before we ate. I mean, just lock it out of the place with a chicken. I go, boss, we didn't eat yet. He's like, oh, I'm sorry.

There was two kittens. And the locks, you guys don't eat locks. Yeah, we do. We ate locks in front of you. Yes, we love locks. How good was that chicken liver? Go ahead. What were you saying, Mike?

Oh, that was great. You in the pasta. Oh, the little, your little fingers in the pasta oh The little in your little fingers in the pasta. Oh, I just caught you doing so much evil shit Yeah, he was low to his bag up with a bunch of like every night he make a sandwich for tomorrow for God. For God. But it's like, dude, wait until we get some food in us, mate. You can just take whatever you want at the end. We let it be. We left a lot of food behind. We did sometimes. Anyways, all right, man. Thanks for coming on, boss. And now you can say, I mean, much we just got to read some names and do a couple things. If you want to stay, you can stay on boss and you can say I mean much we we just got to read some names and do a couple things if you want to stay you can stay if not

you can bill well I know I what what do you got to do I know what you're gonna do no I'm not gonna do anything I you know I just you're gonna ask me and in the middle I can see a little thing. Isn't front of the camera. I see. No, I can't hear. I just have to read my dates. You know, I heard Lee.

What are you doing? I mean, well, you started. I'm going to throw up. Put it back. Are you talking to me? Yes. Oh, how do you get out of this? I don't know how to get out.

My clean clean. Clean clean. Yeah. God. Okay, hey everybody, I want to say, what's that? Dates or names first? I want to just say what I was about to say, but now you're ruined it, so just go ahead.

Oh my God. You're on the fucking podcast. Why? Why you got to be like that? What? Be like what? Fucking not real instead of fucking you have fake friends that you have?

Why are you always attacking my friends? We roast each other too. Now you don't. We're just not evil. We're just not evil. I'm not strong. Your hair is not that condition today. Oh my God, you bitch.

How dare you. You know, your coffee was a little too strong. Oh, such an asshole. I'm a millennial. I don't make me own coffee. All right. Oh, fucking an asshole. I'm a millennial. I don't make me on coffee. All right. Oh, fucking cunts. That's so funny.

You really don't do it. Yeah, I go get it. All right, go ahead. I want everybody to know right now. This is the way right now to support. Go to my shows. Find out where I'm playing robbercadalyze.com and go.

If you see me tweeting them, please retweet live.com and go if you see me tweeting them please retweet them I can't I can't you know I don't know what the fuck to do just retweet the shit come don't come whatever doesn't matter what are you gonna do I'm gonna fucking get a job yes late night you guys can't see me get benefits I'm kidding go ahead well if're watching live, you can see him at the beer garden in Worcester, Mass this weekend, Saturday, the 19th. That's called the Woo-Ha-Ha club. I'm very excited about this club because I've never played here, but I used to go to Worcester all the time as a headliner. I used to go to the Akua-Ku, Dictority's Comedy Vault,

or Dictority's Comedy Club at the kooa kooa it was fucking awesome i haven't played here in a long time and i'm very excited to go back so uh... make sure boston get the fuck out there get your tickets let's fill this thing go ahead mush and then uh... there's a due uh... saturday that took turning the twenty fourth year will be at the Houston improv in Houston, Texas. Bing, bang, bang, bang, bang, I will be out there. I haven't been there. I played there once years ago.

Then I started playing the last stop at Houston famous club. And then it's gone. So I have not been back to Houston in years. So again, another gig. I'm very excited to go back to go ahead, mush. And I may be there even if it's just hanging out. So yes, yes, yes, absolutely. And I will definitely get you a guest spot. Saturday, October 3rd, you'll be at the West Diacit Liberty Live, theac driving that's gonna be outside in the palisades parking lot is that correct that is correct mushy it is outside it's a it's a showcase i'm not headlining

that it's a showcase and there you go if you're in the air and come support uh... sir custy york cica sir cuss funny bone friday october six i october sixteen through saturday october seventeen uh... don't forget Saturday, October 24th, what may be Ron Bennington's last comedy show, Robert Kelly, Ron Bennington, first in energy park

in Lakewood, New Jersey. Go get tickets now. VIP tickets are already sold out. This show will probably sell out before it happens. That's correct. So make sure you check that out. this show will probably sell out before it happens. That's correct. So make sure you check that out. And let's what else you got? Most what else do we got? Well, creeps of kids is supposed to be coming out later this year, November and December dates right there. Check those out. Size letters, everyone in Tampa. All you guys get your

tickets now for that Thursday, November, Fit through saturday November 7th. Get your tickets now for that Thursday November 5th through Saturday November 7th get those tickets now Go to my website for the rest of the dates You guys rob a killer live calm make sure you go there and check out the rest of the dates and What else oh make sure you subscribe hit that subscribe button hit that like button subscribe like subscribe. If you watch this show, which I hope you did, and I hope you enjoyed it, subscribe and like. That's how you show us some love

and come back here every week. You know what, dude, is taped live on Patreon for the Patreon people. If you wanna see this show live on Mondays, it's on Mondays from now on. You can come here at 7 o'clock and watch live on Patreon. But every Sunday, this sucker comes out on YouTube and everywhere else. Audio version, video version, full free, mama, baca, all free. Always been free. I was the first one doing it. I put it out.

I've done this show for 10 years. Once a week, never, I think I missed none. I've always had a show out. It's always been free and here you go. So please, come check it out. If you want to support me, you can come to the Patreon. $5. You get me, this YKWD, live, you get the culture in Kelly, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday,

Friday, Saturday, the jerk off party on Saturday nights, the one on ones that I do that I'm going to be starting to do again, and also live from the shed. We got around 13, 14 episodes up there right now. You can check out and as soon as this pandemic is over, we're going to be getting more people up to the shed. So there you go. Mush, what do you got? Well, we also got some names to read from the Patreon, our new members for this point. We here we go. We're going to be three. I think we got three new members this week. A few more than that. that. Okay here we go. Ready? Bill same. Yes, that's good. I get it right. Daniel Allen.

You're a $10 member motherfucker. Skiee-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e- five, six, seven, nine, ten. The big gone timer for. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who got you? I fucking love you. Rub the nipples 10 times one, two, three, four, five, and the flick on the six. Daniel Baker. I'm just Robert Reena. I love you, Robert. Daniel Barker, another $10. Pick my nose and flick it. Pick my nose and flick it. Pick my note. I need it. That's right. Five times five times five times.

There you go. Boom, boom, boom, that's it. Patrick Keith. Thank you very much. Incredible. Yes. I want to thank all the Patreon members and especially all the $10 members

and $25 members. I really appreciate you guys boosting that up keeping this podcast going the culture and Kelly going we are trying to give you a show every day and Keep this going while you're in the pandemic so you guys have something to listen to and some to laugh at Fuck the rest of the world come here have a good time and fucking laugh your ass off. That's what I say. Yeah Gabby, what do you got besides fucking huge lips and high cheekbones? Thank you. I do have amazing lips and a good-looking face other than that. I have an Instagram

Gabby is Brian and I just I'm almost at 11k so follow me on there. I'm trying to be an influencer. I have a Twitter I have a Twitter at Gabby is Brian. I'm not good at that, but please check me out there I have a patreon patreon.com slash on a bash for my podcast on a bash podcast where you could listen to that everywhere Michael what do you have mush? Follow me at Mike Fusewar as an Instagram Tuesdays doing the football show in the Comedy Cellar channel with Dave Juskow.

If you like football, I don't think about it, but I'm still making picks. And yeah, that's what I got going on. Follow the podcast at Waking It Up, you do it on Instagram. Make sure you tell your friends about that. And count in, Kelly, on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram as well. You know what?

You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what?

You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? Thank you for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs.

Shitty jobs.