Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Comedy Fight Promoter

Episode Date: July 20, 2015

Robert is joined by Dan Soder, Jermaine Fowler, Rick Crome, Alia Janine, Chris Scopo and Deepu Gill. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 rados. ¿Yor listening to Robert Kelly's? Y no lo sé, dude. ¡On the Riotcast Network! Riotcast.com.

¡Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth! ¡This is gonna be a costa fire! ¡This podcast has no rules! ¿Qué es la mi gas, hall? To the 40th podcast on the Planet Birds. This is gonna be a cost-defying podcast. No rules. I'm gonna go to the mic asshole. I'm sure I've already sent you the recording. Can I get a mic? No! What the fuck?

That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down and yapping. Sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's 10 no topics, no directions. I love doing it. Way both sides of the coin. That love doing it Side to the coin The day my podcast is popular I might affect somebody's life. You never know

Yeah We're back, we're back, we're back, we're back, we're back, we're back, we're back, and music, hey, oh. Automatically. What's up, we're back with another YKWD podcast. We have a busy, busy show today. We have a lot of people in here and some i like some i don't like no kidding i like everybody in here

uh... uh... we have to film crew in here which i'll explain and uh... the show uh... the ill it's a hot day the aces ago and and the lights are dimming and flickering so this is this might this might shut down at any moment just know that that if your screen goes blank, if you're watching live, it's yeah, because we have 900 plugs in one plug in a pre-war building. Yeah, you're single-handedly making Khan-Ed a profit today. I need to charge my phone.

I'm afraid to ask, well, what? You need to plug your phone in? Yeah, you can't. Here's the thing. I think you should have shut this bitch down. That's gotta go. You can go any time you want. I didn't say how to go. He did. Hey, Octopus. Is that an Octopus shirt? Yeah. Does it go all the way down to a belt? No, no, it just goes, wraps around the back. I give you this, ready? You dress fucking unique. Thanks, man. You really do. I mean, I didn't say good.

I didn't say bad. I think you dress like a mediocre tennis player. I think you dress like a mediocre tennis player. I think you dress like a mediocre tennis player. Like you have to use your personality to get advertisements. And then you get smoked in Whirbelton He always makes it to the semi finals. Yeah, always lose with the smile.

Look at his, oh there's a Dremain Fowler with his headband. Oh he always dresses so fun in these terms. Good spot, yeah. Good spot, man. I agree with you if that was a wig. That would be awesome. It's Velcro. I can tell you.

So yes, we have of course you're made foul or foul. What was that man? foul. Come on. That was rude. Can you give me a proper? Jermaine foul. Is that fun to you? I don't think you're mean. What's up man? What's up? I haven't been here in a long time. But is there a reason for that? Well, yeah. But when did the introduction to the show become

alien in the morning? When did that happen? How about what's alien in the morning? This is DC radio show. Yeah, that's your regional references. Yeah, did that work in DC? It did work. It's very successful radio show.

The good work. We worked out for them. We, I was supposed to do your show. I got a call. Oh, the sketch show? The sketch show. I was so bummed out I couldn't fucking do it. Because the other two guys, who's the twins on the show?

What's in it? The Lucas brothers. The twins. Fucking what nice guys there. I was just so cool. I met them at some party and they were the sweetest guys. They were fucking hilarious. Yeah, they're successful pottas.

Yeah, it's everyone. But wait, why did you not do the show? You didn't even explain why you couldn't do it? party and they were the sweetest guys in the fucking hilarious. Yeah, they're successful pottits. Yeah, everyone. But wait, why did you not do the show? You didn't even explain why you couldn't do it? Couldn't do it. Can you tell me what? Yeah, I couldn't do it. I was watching my kid.

Oh. I couldn't, what happened was, it was the, they called me the day before, like, hey, we wanted to come back to tomorrow. And I was like, I can't do it. We do. No way. I couldn't get a baby, we said, we don't have a baby, so to which is another thing I'll talk about, which me't do it. We do. No way. I couldn't get a baby,

said we don't have a baby, so to which is another thing I'll talk about, which me and my wife are fighting about. She refuses to get a babysitter for some fucked up reason, but so I was watching my kid, there's nothing I could have done. Nothing. I don't believe you.

I know you have a kid, you know, but I'm just feel like you could have done the show. I think Jéransire is like, you don't want it better. Let me ask you a question. So, what would I, let me do it. First of all, I don't like like you could have done the show. I think Jérinshara said you don't want it bad. Let me ask you a question. So what would I, let me, Jérinshara, first of all, I don't like you attacking me right out the gate. I was second of all, second of all, you fucking cunt.

Okay. What would I do with my kid? Give it to the wife. What wife? Oh, your girlfriend, the baby mama? The baby, my wife that wasn't there. I was babysitting the kid, but she was at the doctor's office. Okay. What would I do?

You didn't say all that what you did say you couldn't do the show you didn't give me any details First of all it's not you are show shit. It's only give the show runner you fucking twat Wow, you know me personally more than anybody else in that show. You just told me that's not true I've had those twins over twice here know my house Yeah over twice here no my house what yeah yeah yeah I am by me to the end because you're attitude stinks what is that you're sick today don't fucking stick up I like the way that you're a fucking carcorder at all I'm picking sides right now he wants a spa in the show you know he's already might be filming now I had to turn down a role in their show too

because of my baby. No, I was out of town. No, I couldn't get away. I couldn't do it. I have a baby. I really couldn't do it. Well, maybe if you give me a week, I agree. No, the people who do get my office for the fucking show

are terrible. They do do people like a baby. They call me at three o'clock the day before. And I was like, there's no way I could do it. Yeah, I was in Austin, Texas. And they're like, do you want to play Robin tomorrow? And I was like, yeah, but I can't leave here. no way I could do it. Yeah, I was in Austin, Texas, and they're like, do you want to play Robin tomorrow? And I was like, yeah, but I can't leave here. Yeah, I could do it.

I would have had to like hand my baby off to some lady. Okay. Like I don't know. That's what baby sitting basically is on the table. Yeah, but it's not that, not anymore, because you have to go through a vetting process now, okay? Because I'm not just handing my baby off.

We had a babysitter one time last year, the baby started crying, and I was listening in on the fucking monitor. She panicked and called my wife and said, the baby, they're a babysitter. The baby's crying, you maybe she'd come home. And my wife had to come home from where she was to soothe the baby, right?

I believe I'm a fucker with you by the way Number two, who out of both you I still think you're a content. I think you are too, but I still love you And you could have done this you still could do the show if you wanted to not what was gonna bring my baby Yeah, that would have been a P.A. Watch it. Yeah, that's good I want a P.A. on a fucking B show to watch my baby. That's a compliment. That's it. What's your TV?

That's my... What's your TV? What is that? Exactly. Okay. That's a shit. And of course we got Dan Soda. Hi.

What's up, dude? Hey, dude. How you doing? I'm good. Welcome back to the show. It's good to be back. It's good to be back. It's good to have you. That's always good to be back.

Last time I saw you was that Bonarou? Yes. Sweat and MacDick, fighting with my girlfriend. It was a good time. I don't see why you fight with your chick. Oh, I don't. It's like I choose to. Like I wake up and I'm like, you know what would really make this concert experience better?

Bickering. What'd you pick about me? You're sweaty, Dick. Yeah, no, I wish that would have been easier. She would tell us you were there. She was with me. She was standing right there with me. So it was fun.

I mean, we only fought the one day you were there. But then you came back. Is it me? That was great. When I came back and you were coming back stage and that one dipshit that was running the gate was like, OK, let your back here. And I just come out of the comedy tent and you're like,

dude, go get Rocky. Dude, go get Rocky. And I'm like, what's up? You're like, I can't get back there dude, go get Rocky. I was like, all right. Well, you know what it was, Nick Crowe had us a fucking stalker.

Nick Thun? Nick Thun, one of the fuckers name is. Yeah. One of the fuck, I love Nick Thun. I really do. The largest man and I totally get the stalker. The largest man, but who's hiding it with a beard and fucked up hair? I mean, he's gorgeous.

I wish he would just be gorgeous. Just get a fucking bow tie and shave your face. You're like a judge on a bravo show. I really am. You're like, stop hiding. Just get out. Just let it out. I just want, he's just a good look now. Whatever. But I love him because he's down there. He has a family, he's a house, he does this thing.

And you can talk to him about shit. He's down there as guy, but whatever he has a stalker. But how fucking crazy is the stalker gonna be? You're a comedian, you're not Justin Bieber, okay? There's a million comics back there. You see somebody who's not a comic, get him the fuck out. I kick it and then what's your name comes over? And she goes, what are you doing to the guy?

Yeah, she goes all right stop let him in that's when I walked away because I was like I it's a choice stop You she literally say you're taking it too far. Yeah, she yelled at him like stop being such a militant fucking you you're not protecting Led Zeppelin you idiot it had been funny's a fucking dick joke comics in the back getting stone and fucking eating food. It would have been funnier of 20 minutes later I walked up to him when Noah was around and I was like, sorry about that, that guy's the worst.

Yeah. He's like, he is, I'm like, I know. He goes like this, he goes, well, you don't just walk by. I was gonna, I say fuck you. I go like this, get the fuck out of here. Wasn't the stalker a guy? Who the fuck knows? Oh, you don't know that the guy looks like that?

I don't believe in comic stalkers first off. Might even Jim? Jim, Jim who? Norton. No. Because you have key, he travels with a, an ex police officer with a gun. Yeah.

Well, such thing as a fucking stalker. I'm, I'm, I'm, look at man. We're on, we're on the road with this fucking show shutting down. We're on the road by ourselves. We're out there by ourselves, all the fucking time. We're accessible to kill, to the period. All the fucking times. The truth.

This sounds to me like you really want to stalk her. I've had stalker. You sound jealous. Of course you have a stalker because, let's get, first of all, let's go over to, we're going to go to Rick Crome first. That was like, I want to hear about your stalker. Which one? Okay. Because I used to travel when I danced and stuff, so I've had, I've had actually cops follow

me back to like my hotel room after a future dancing gig. Really? I guess so, because they wanted a stalker protect. I don't know. Definitely stalked. This guy was very, very creepy. I mean, he was a cop, protect. I don't know. Definitely a stalk. This guy was very, very creepy. I mean, he was a cop, so it was even weirder. Well, he was a cop?

Yeah. What a great juicy nighttime drama we could write. He's a cop, but he's really the enemy. How did you know he was a cop? Oh, because I met him in the club, and he told me he was a cop. He showed me his badge. And we were talking on my signs some pictures or whatever for him and he overstayed Welcome a little bit. Yeah, he was one of those guys. I was just hanging out like that. You want to play with my handcuffs That kind of thing. Yeah, well, I actually have a degree in police science. I have my own handcuffs a

Police science. What do you say? I have a degree in police science. Police? Police. Yeah, it's criminal justice, depending on... Where you get it? I never heard. I never heard. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. You can buy it at the Chinese clinic.

Yeah. I don't know. I never heard a police science. I never heard of it. I don't know. They don't give those to defendants. All right. All right.

Allia, so you're here. But you used to be a porn star. Correct. So that's that ad. I you used to be a porn star. Correct. So that's that, that, I mean, that's, I don't understand. Oh no, no, I definitely do because I, you deserve a stalker of what you did. You're too strong, you're good. But you deserve all these guys creeping out. Well, I mean, it's, it's, it comes, it comes with a territory definitely.

Oh, definitely. I mean, Jermaine doesn't, I have a new one now his stalker's gonna be loving and like that's like having a care bear a little fat white girl that just wants to hold him and hug him and I blog about you a blog about you to me you're here I'm out of the road to cut learn the fuck nothing has nothing that's beautiful you're inviting stalkers I do it if you want to stalk me I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out of town. I'm out. I'm out town. I'm out of town. I'm out. I'm out of town. I'm out. Right. I'm a little settled down now. Thank you for you. Rick Crow. Where do you now? I saved, I saved the best for last.

All right. Ricky. You said his cheekbone. His cheekbone is very high. Really? Very strong. You did drag you do very well. I just was a woman of the day.

And I look great. Thanks. Rick, we're here. A huge cock. Whoa. You have a huge cock. No, I'm saying a woman with a huge cock. I don't know. I'm assuming because you're black

You've got a you got a bandit. Yeah, I've had that. It's a fat or long both is pretty big My's pretty good, but it's semi-retired. I can't lie to Rick We guys want to fuck on the show for I mean there is a camera crew here I did think it was a gang bang when I first got here. I'll be a spotter. I'll be the only one with my shirt on. I'll be the one that they won't let me take my shirt off. Bobby Dan, you guys keep a shirt on.

You guys, we're doing this beautiful documentary about you. And I'm a little out of it today I apologize if my brain is kind of floating I've been up since five and I had a couple hours sleep show I'm a little fucking crazy today but we do in this beautiful documentary why don't you tell us a little bit about it? Well yeah who's involved and why and how they approach you? Well these guys, apparently one was my former student of mine and I'm pretty good. A student of what?

I teach a little stand-up comedy course and writing and performance and that. And Dustin was one of those people who was in that and he's also a filmmaker and a a segment producer, et cetera. He got the idea that I was interesting enough to, because I'm so fucking old, is that I've been around so long to do kind of a documentary of the last 30 years or so what I've been doing with the comedy seller

and all the other stuff. And the theme of it is, as I know you for as long as I've been here, and calling Quinn's in it, and Ray Romano, I mean, there's a lot of people involved in this. And you've been here and you've been a solid act, but not an actor. What's wrong? You're fucking great, man.

I think you're funny. I think their followers are fucking funny. You're fucking great. You're an amazing, amazing, stand-up comic actor. You've written musicals, You're a respected, amazing, amazing, stand-up comic actor. You've written musicals, you're a writer, you're a musician. You have, you pretty much a threat in every area

of entertainment. And then, you know, and you're older now, right? And the whole theme of it is that, what the fuck, why having you become a superstar? Yeah, well I think it's what I Don't know I know I'm in the fan. He's the comical day. I stopped jerking him off Dummy we're talking about what the fucking project is about your fucking hand-bomb You have the TV show dreamy. I you're right No, but I I know I know as we were talking about before is that you can in this in this show business thing

You can do a lot of different things you can you can just do be a comedian or you can be an actor, you can... And I was never satisfying doing just the one thing. Right, you know, you can burn out in any one of those areas. And then as years went by, I realized that if I was getting booked as a comedian or as a royalties from my writing or whatever, I was still not going into an office and kissing anybody's ass. And you know, you don't necessarily achieve stardom to be a success. You can, work in the business in some form or another. So I guess the theme of it is, if you don't go away, they can't ignore you. Right? And so you just, you success is defined by you, right? And so you just, you success is defined by by tenacity. Tenacity. And the fact that I'm still making a living doing what I do artistically. Well, I said to you at the beginning of this, I think it's very important that you're making this not just for you.

I think it's important for actors, comedians, anybody in this business because we judge success by money and fame, power, you know, and you know, you have a show and you have a lot of money, you know, we have the Louise, the Ames, the Ray Romanos, and if you don't make that success, there's somehow you fail, somehow you didn't do it. Yeah, that's a perception. That's a perception. Which is not true, but it is true. In our brains, coming up as young people, I believe we're all striving for that.

Whether we know it or not, or admit it or not, you wanna be, have fame, maybe not everybody for ego, but for the ability to do more things. Well, also, it's a lot of different things. Get to perform in front of audiences that are there to see you, like sold out places. I think it's opportunity, money to do awesome projects that.

How about the people? Yeah, it's all that stuff. To do awesome projects you want to do that you haven't been able to. Okay. Yeah, maybe extract revenge on a couple of people that will mean to you in your past, and you can pay money for them to be killed. Right. You can't do if you don't make it.

Gotta be successful if you want to murder people. Mara Mono can murder people. I'm gonna kill you. You're all dead. Rich Foss, go to jail. There's a lot of people that are famous that are broke though, too. Well, this is why you have to.

What does that mean? That a lot of people think that just because someone's famous that they automatically have a lot of money which is a nice example what do you like look at MC Hammer or even like I got a hammer why got a hammer why got a big work on it yeah but that's a guy who's a fucking dummy and spent all money but there's a couple of them out there that people just assume just because they're famous that they're automatically rich that's not necessarily true like that Does it have money?

Easy. No, it's like I rest the story of the man. Oh, well, you gotta pay your taxes. That's not the business. That's him not paying his taxes. That's the difference with hammer and not paying your taxes. Because if you get money and you invest it and you pay your taxes, you can hold on.

If you make a shitload of money, if you made hammer's money, or I made it, or you made it on if you make a shitload of money, if you made hammers money or I made it or Jermaine made it or you probably we'd probably still have it because of our mentality. We don't need 19 people around us. Also the business side of comedy is paying taxes. I have to pay taxes in porn. Sure. Really? Yeah, it's a real job. Do you do it under your alias or your real name? No, I did underneath my real name. What's your company's name? I just used my name. Okay. What's out of 1099?

They take it they take out health 257 You before you do a scene do they hand you like a tax form? We actually it takes about 10 minutes to fill out all the paperwork. Before you suck that dick, are you an alien? Yeah. Could you connect that? We want to make sure that you're giving it a American blowjob.

And you're not taking blow jobs away from Americans that need to do that. But you, because I know Mexicans will suck a dick for lips. But you made that, you're making this because you, you know, you think we would all think a guy like you who's done musicals at you act amazing and Louis. You're fucking amazing. You too, I mean, well, well, and your comedy is fucking is amazing. You're, you're always funny. You're always killing it. You can sit out of the piano.

You can fucking stand up that you can host you had mine whatever it is and we're all like what the fuck but you're saying the moral is this is that you're you're still in the business you're happy you you pay your bills you may not have a ten fucking mansions but you got you got to fall in love with the work we got to fall in love with being a comedian or being whatever whatever you do you you can't go in there saying I'm going to get into this business to win an Academy Award or even to get on the tonight show or whatever.

If you fall in love with what you're doing, then everything else is gravy. But I agree with that and I- If you compare your bills. I think that visualization is a positive thing. Sure. You're right, dude. I'm getting fucking spit on by the air condition. No, it's the rain, it's raining.

I think rain is the ass. It's the ass. Is the rain? It feels like my fucking right arm's going paralyzed, and then I realize it's little trinkets of water. I thought it was a missed feature. But it's kind of like doing a porn. But it's bad, man.

You get wet, it's bad. You deal with it. Fucking hell all the place. I know Jesus Christ. I know anyway. So I, but I think that visualizing, I know people say I always thought of getting an Oscar and I believe in that stuff.

And I believe that you can want to be famous if that's what you want to do. If that's your goal to be famous, fine, that's fine. But there are people who just like to, to write music, like to perform and like to tell jokes and get better at it. And I think what you're, like to perform, and like to tell jokes and get better at it. And I think what I say is the second you become successful in this business,

when you decide to be happy first, when you decide in your life, I just wanna be happy. And then it's weird that I feel like things just start to come to you. Like good things start to come to you when you just like fucking happy. When I was trying to get something to make me happy, I never could achieve happiness,

and I always seemed to fail at that goal. I'd get close and it would disappear or some shit. Sure, because you have this frustrating exterior, and that doesn't attract people, but when you're relaxed, and you're just being wonderful, Bobby Kelly, people are attracted to to you and those opportunities are attracted to you. Right. You know, it's like, should we get that guy?

No, he's a hothead. He's always an opportunist. But if you're just happy being who you are, right, then, like, hey, let's get him. It's always no, I don't, to me, I don't think anybody wants to associate themselves with somebody who has an agenda, you know what I mean? Like, it's weird to hang out with someone you know, which is out there. But we know that it's like when you know what I mean? Like, this is weird to hang out with someone you know, which is out there for some reason. We know that. We know those people in the business,

and they're successful. Some of them are cut throat. Yeah, some of them are really successful. We know them. But there's a lot more of those people that aren't successful because people are like, that's fucking gross. There's a couple of people that are like,

hey, could you tweet out something? Like, they'll send you a message. Like, tweet this out for me. Like, yeah, that's probably listen If it's like a friend of mine and it's their show, I'm gonna do that all right But the guy was addicted yeah, how did it someone I barely know and they're messaging me like hey be really cool Hey, how are you? It's like that fake bullshit. How you been? Yeah listen could you tweet this out for me? It's like now there's that's your agenda. I know there are unsuspectable comics. Anything, SD would, I'm like, I don't, I don't even talk to

you that much in this weird. I don't have. So I think there's a lot more of this, but you're right. There are a few that have made it so high up, but those people are never happy. They're always miserable and they're always grabbing at that fucking success. Yeah, they'll never be complacent with what they got. They just want more and they just can't just The power consumes them. Yeah, are you happy Rick? It's like a Martin. Are you happy? I'm serious. I'm asking you seriously. Are you happy? Even right now? No A lot of here. How about fucking Dan could take a couple sprinkles. I'm sorry. I'll do two hour podcasts

We're just getting spit on by an air conditioner Just by the whole right side it's wet. It's not lava. It's high. It's I don't know what it is could be free on that's an old air conditioner That's not free on dude. It's actually because I added this the spray feature to it to cool you down They have an updated their system in years. I'm an AC buff. Do you have a boyfriend? Who me no oh? Jesus Christ Back to my happiness. Yes Well, you're talking about my happy

I'm sorry. I got distracted. I'm having a little time. Yeah, I'm happy But I'm but I wouldn't say I'm content. I think I think what make what would make you content? More more work But I wouldn't say I'm content. I think I think. Okay, what would make you content? More work. Yeah. And what I'm doing, I'm sure I'd love to do more of the more of the performing and more high-ranking. I'd love to do.

I would be in your dream, if I can do it. Yeah, I can't never go into one thing. If I could give you something right now in this business to do, what would it be? Yeah. Would a tour, doing stand-up, would it tour, doing stand up, would it be a television show, would it be a play, would it be a room full of Asian boys? What would it be?

Well, let's start with the Asian boys. I'm from there. So you wish I would deserve. Well, that would be much more relaxed when I'm doing stand up. So a television show. Oh, sure. Television show, for me, when you first start doing comedy, and I started in 1977. Holy shit, I wasn't know. Go ahead.

Right, so the goal was to be on the Ten I Show. Yes. Go out and do five minutes on the Ten I Show. And you? And I never achieved that. You never did. I never achieved that. And so that would make me ecstatic. So I'm going to make that tonight. And you and that and I never achieve that you never I never never achieved that and so would that make that would make me ecstatic so you want to I'm going to make that happen you are yes all right make it happen we

should call you're gonna read you're gonna re animate Johnny Carson yeah not that that's a nice show we're gonna go to Johnny's grave and I'm gonna fucking do his bones up Dan's gonna hold them to me yeah your mains actually gonna hold them because he has the skeleton body already. How did the weekend of Bernie shit? Yeah, that'd be awesome. If we weekend a Bernie Johnny Carson. Can you do Ed?

That is weird. He can do that. Yes sir. Oh yes. Do you want to do this tonight show, Jimmy found? Would you do that? Of course I would. In a heartbeat.

So why does it your, what's your name again? I forget Justin? Dustin, Dustin, great name. Dustin, okay, what's your name, Justin? Dustin's a guy that steals your girlfriend. No, no, no. This is like, I'm an hangout hangout at Dustin's. You guys are just friends, you guys are just friends.

And you're going over there one a.m. Yeah, when it comes, he goes Dustin. Yeah, that would be super narcissistic, but that'd be pretty awesome. When you come, do you look in the mirror and go, what's up, Justin? Dustin sounds like a guy's the name sounds like he's either gonna steal your girlfriend or you used to smoke weed with him in middle school. And I want you hanging out with Dustin. Yeah, I know what Dustin.

Dustin and the skaters. So, we're just hanging out with him. So Dustin, the guys who we know the the guys who book the Tonight Show, right? Right? That's sort of my light. There's been a few sort of pipe dreams within the documentary. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, because you realize at the end of this documentary, I either have to make a comeback or die. Yeah. Yeah. It's going to take a real tragic turn when they just, the text pops up. Sad about that. Rick died. First of all, this show today is, if we don't get you on it today, we have a guy in the other room that's gonna actually murder you.

So this is the actually, I'm in on this with Dustin. Okay. And this fucking Viking right here. We can cut all this out. What was gonna say that that was like one of my... In your mouth. Dreams like me. Like we were heard.

Because now the documentary, the interesting part is it's not one without the other now so do you have the five the five minutes to do? Sure. I mean I don't say that to be an asshole because you could have three hours of material but to do five minutes on the tonight show now right today and fucking do well it's not really that easy I mean you have to really. It's putting together a set that has that has a a laugh line every three or four lines and it's not just a long rambling thing which you can do in a club. Give me your first joke.

I'm Jimmy Salah. Come on right now here's a first joke. This is a fucking opportunity. This is a chance. It's a chance. You guys are, you just made it a by-all. It's like a boxing, high-peer boxing guy. I'm rocking you. Well I think I'm not joking. Don't do this to me. I'm not joking. a bio a boxing high-peat boxing guy

Well, I don't do this to be honest with you I'm joking I'm not gonna make you do that I mean now you're not getting the show No, of course not so this is gonna lead up to the I think that we could get you that I think we could at least I At least we could ask I think there'll be an amazing story I'm sure some people can call James fell in and you can Restore what we should fucking try and you know what'd be amazing about it that this show would be the fucking the the diving board the springboard into the end of the fucking movie and I would come off as the fucking hero because I kind of made it happen.

Look at that for himself. You're the queen maker. Remember that. It was a dude who had a documentary I thought he used to call me You remember the guy who had a documentary and left him getting a spot at the comedy seller? No, the guy had a documentary and he just got spots to sell for about a month Remember this guy? He's old dude bald head, I'm looking up his name but he had a documentary He wanted me? No, he was skinniest, sure to do And he did stand up. It's a truth. I was like, I'll put you on your head. But for about a month he was

getting sparse because he had a documentary that he wanted to sell his whole life. I think we should try to do that. And here's the other thing, Ricky. Ricky, can I call you Ricky? Absolutely. So, so if you if you got on the tonight show, what do you think in your brain? What would that just be it? Oh, do you think that would do add with? Because when you do something like that, you're always like, oh, maybe this will help me here or this will get this. So you have these other things. Would you want that to go to something? Would that just be satisfied you to get that one spot?

I think at this point, after 35 or 38 years of doing this, that I wouldn't take that too seriously. I mean, it would be a wonderful thing, and a nice feather in the cap. But I know enough about this business, so there's one part of the, doing one appearance on a show, of course you'd hope it to lead to something else,

something steady. But I would want to build on that, but I would not be devastated if it didn't. Right. You know, I think now, you know, when you're younger, you think, I'm gonna get this, but then if it doesn't add up to anything, it's the end of the world. I'm gonna do drugs and thank you.

Because I remember talking to Manny about you and Mark Cohen. Yeah. I mean, and I remember coming to New York and I'd see you guys going, stays together. Yeah. I was, the guys, they would fucking rip it up like you've never seen somebody rip it up. I mean just fucking improv and written sketches and piano and song and it was stand up. It was fucking stupid. I mean I fucking hate that piano. I did not curse your name every time I go, but I know that that was put there because of you, and that stays there because of you, and I respect that.

But every time I stumb a kits it, now I was fall back into the table. I told them to do that. I told them to do it. You gotta do it. Oh, you're not supposed to give us the most hilarious imagery of all time, and we're not gonna laugh.

And then I was just a fucking making crazy face. Have you ever seen Dom Delewies? Yeah, you trust falling into the first row of the comedy seller audio? It's always funny. I've seen it so much. I don't say shit. I'm still like, I'm like, I think be funny

if this dog can be led to some more obscure like you on the spot on Sesame Street or something like that. I would love that. That'd be fucking awesome. Wow, I don't know. That's me straight. I would love to be like Mr. Hooper's ex lover who just came back.

God, God, they just settled down. My kids walked, no, no, no. I'm not a super aggressive. Shut up, you fucking corporate douche. This is me. I would love to see. And this is honoru book and ass. I would have left my kid with Rick Crome.

How's that sound? That'd be awesome. Yeah, well, we want to be babysitter. Just singing love songs. No, I can't, I can't with the poop. Really? Can't. That's kind of weird.

No, that's what you think, but no. No. It becomes out of an Asian boy. Even so. That's what you think. No. That's what end of months are for. That's right.

You know, you got a professional. Yeah, but baby poop is different, dude. It comes out like clay, right? Yeah, it's like, do you have a kid? I'm not good with clay. That's a little sister, but. No, remember much that So all right, so we get you the tonight show all right our ideal you blow the fuck up

We you blow the fuck up you will rip chrome fever you're gonna get America you don't want to go on the road I would really true do the road absolutely. I did the road for years I did call it throughout the eights You want to go back to it? Well, no, I mean if them if if it was affordable and I could do it sure I'd love to go on the road for a little bit really sure now You wrote this play I remember newsicle well, it's a it's a Comedy review it songs and sketches about it's called a topic review people in the news current trends Famous people and it's it's kind of like a Saturday night live or a you know you take things that are in people's

You know like what we do here. I just I just do comedy routines based on the news Right, I put them to music and I put them to sketches. So I've been doing that on and off for Years since 2004, right? And you put it on as an actual show. Yeah, it's still going on. Yeah, it's still going on. And you rewrite it all the time? I add stuff to it. I have other people who contribute to it now

because I'm not doing it all. But yeah. It's a long time. It's been up. It's a long time. How many years? This current production is five years now. Wow. Yeah. And you teach comedy classes.

I teach. Which a lot of people, a lot of comics don't agree with. Well, right, but I understand why, because they probably assume I'm doing something that I'm not doing. Yeah. They probably assume that I'm just taking the money. Well, you could do it.

Well, the teaching thing is, I mean, I could go into the nitty gritty of it, but there are things you can't teach that we absorb by hanging out and watching other comics, right? Right. There are things you just writing and performance how do you take a concept and then play against it to get a to get a laugh line how do you what point of beauty you come from there are basic things that that can be taught and I can't give anybody a sense of humor right but I can say that punchline needs to be exaggerated yeah now, like that, I was watching that routine that you do about eating healthy sucks

or whatever it is. You do this little, it's a great routine. But you do that thing about technology should offer some alternatives to making food taste good. But then you say, look, you go, I'll have cell phones. We used to have to make a call on a shut up I just teach Bobby. No, no, but what he does is great You're actually probably one of the worst

Let's talk about a paper phone right? I will go fucking toe-to-toe you on air live You heard it here first the challenges been made Bobbi You heard it here first. The challenge has been made. To main followers, Bobby Culler. This is your face watching, just who? Ax out more. We'll see this Sunday. A hamma, a hamma, a hamma. And then he comes in and goes, what do you mean?

Listen, though, we didn't say a voice off if you want to do that shit. You're my aunt and my arena. And I'll take that challenge to the bed. You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit?

You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit?

You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? You want to do that shit? for a bad he was in the middle so you're talking about payphones in your act no you say you make payphone references all right I'm gonna say now you fucking this is why this is why none of you could teach you

no you have no patience you have no focus yeah absolutely it's why we're out in the hallway practicing mix skipping class you're talking about the black comics right not the white and me please say it just so I can say the end word. I'm just here. Don't say that on my show. I'm also Jeff. I know. You know that.

All right, fuck it. No, just go. You know that slide where you do where you say you had to make use a pay phone and get bum aides on your ear. Yeah, bum aides. Bum aides. So, bum aides. Now, somebody else could have that same thought and they could have used a pay phone and get a horrible is on your ear yeah by me yeah by me so i'm a now somebody else could have that same thought they they can be

said you the have to use a pay for and get a horrible disease on your ear right i would break it on say we need something more well let's be more specific what what kind of disease a let's give that more than that you know what's a horrible person to have it about by me

right so you know so you think that i can i can point people to it right and you're trying to you're giving them the Ability to okay, that's a funny concept looking at something a different way That's what we do is comedians we take a concept and we look at it from another angle We just did a whole big improv here about it's a whatever this fucking sports show You know, but it's looking at it from a different angle fight promoter fight from over. Yeah comedy fight promoter I wasn't listening Fight promoter fight promo yeah comedy fight promoter. I wasn't listening

Kind of man from Boston go against the man from DC. I don't know that made no sense preach Secure with his voices Any more that's that was the thing for years Yeah, he was like a military abusive father Don't you do voices and I was like whoa before he started all right jokes No, it sounds like you know, I first started coming on the park. Oh, you know you have jokes But we also know you do great voices. Thanks, bro. You should fucking do them all and be proud of them Thanks Bobby like a binary spirit man. What's it?

It's a good And be proud of them. Thanks Bobby. You like white airy spears, man. What's it? You right now you are now who's side you're on my side. I'm gonna fuck You gonna be hot then Bobby Bike messenger face has a good point. You threw that fan. You go behind you. I really will. I really thought about that when he said that. That was a wait.

Little thin boys, right? That's how you shut down Bobby's violence. Just rational. You go and be hot. Bobby, you do this. You're like one of those teachers that works with privilege, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, works with privilege, uh, uh, uh, uh, emotionally disturbed kids. I really, I'm gonna kill you. And you're like, you do that and you're gonna lose TV.

You know, you don't want to lose TV, but it's all hands. Well, Ricky, back to you. I think that, uh, I think I've seen you classes. I've actually seen a little bit of it. And, uh, I actually think to certain that can't teach comedy or teach not how to be a standup But what being a standup involves and to help somebody mold them a little a little more and I took his class. Well, I could be wrong I mean not everybody no

Veronica, yeah, but there was Veronica. Did you really think it's this? Really? What did you think it helped? Yeah, it helped with writing style. And like you said, adding more punchlines to things that definitely helped me like more things. Well, it would be more descriptive. Yeah.

Yeah. There are different kinds of jokes. There's different kinds of ways. Is there anywhere I can discount for Chris to join? Absolutely. I would like to throw a kid in like a three-week fast course. Intensive. Intensive, yes. And I want to I want to put him in for like a whole four years. I want people to go to high school. For a year. I got many.

For me, I think I'll have a- What school is it? I think it's Emerson where they're actually going to be teaching. There is comedy. Like comedy. Yeah. But you know, I think it gets a bad bad name that's a lot of people out there who just are out there say all right i got nothing else to do and uh... get up sit down that's exactly the do it for the moment but i it doesn't i would never do it if it didn't turn me on the only reason i really i know i i get more out of actually teaching it and getting under the hood with people's

jokes and then crafting them and then seeing that it becoming a performance and getting last the very act of doing it that turns me on. So I'm not like some other people I can name. I'll do what you want. Why can't you name them? I'm not gonna do it because they are the comics teaching. Sweetly. Yeah. Well that's is it. They're not no. No. The F is is a comedian he's a he's a no it's not the means who teach is like it's you know when the club owner guy or well sure god damn it you're cute he loves like some people who just don't have a little

teach it's not toy i would like you're not me of uh... yo g goba, all the little things with the guy. The host and the creature. Yeah. That was funny. Well, listen, as you give me to the night show and I go on the road, then I won't have to do as much teaching and I do have some time for tarted people.

Well, here's a deal. I have. Let me ask you another question, too. I think that you've, I don't know, you're gay. What? What? I have a good, that was just the worst insult. But, body, what did you say? Like that?

Yeah. We go to say, yeah. So. He marriages legal now. Yeah, it is. What's the, why are you say? We got this. Yeah, so. He marriages legal now. Yeah, that was good. Well, I saw you in the documentary you did. You were on stage talking about being gay. What was the joke that was a fucking hilarious joke?

I had talked about that I was talking to this tranny boy who was, you know, boy to girl, but this day was just as a boy, and he was being flirtatious. Right. So I said, maybe we should get together later, and he said, I don't know what, and do what? I said, well, I don't know, have gay sex. He says, I'm not gay, I'm a girl. I said, you can be the girl. I'm gonna suck you dick anyway.

That's a good joke. That's a good joke. But you were in the closet on stage for a long time. Oh, sure. So when I'm out, can I, I said this to your crew when they filmed me one day? I didn't know you were gay. And when I'm out can I I said this to your crew when they film me one I didn't know you were gay and when I first came to the seller and then Pete goes wow He's gay like Pete Correlli was like he's so gay and I go Rick is not gay and then he goes what and he goes

Look in there and you're on the piano going oh my baby My god Rick's gay I never I didn't know you were gay. You're like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Jay. And I was like, oh, it's real. I was not doing hello, Mahne. I know, I know. You could sacrifice your sacros, sitting in the back row. Oh, see, you're gayer than me right now.

Oh, I just spit on my laptop. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's true. But now, is it a different ball is common? Sure is. It's a different ball game for you now. It sure is. I mean, it was a whole new lease on the list. Well, before, you know, I mean, look how fast the whole acceptance in our regular culture has been so fast. It's been like 15 years that oh, you're gay. Okay. So, so that's cool. So what? But you know, 20 years

ago, or when it first started, the minute you did something about, I'm dating this guy or whatever, the audience would clam up and, oh my God, it's so subversive. There's one in the room. There's one in the room. And they'd be like, oh, he doesn't look at the little.

But he's not, he's not, France around the stage, but in a feminine way, he's just like a regular guy. And he just said he's, okay, and then he go to the panel and I'm like, okay, okay. But, uh, I just should've opened with the piano. Should've opened with the piano. Was that what you said?

Do the piano, then do more piano. Junk of us, only guitar. Only guitar, not talking. Really? They don't like the talking. Keith Robertson, just host, quick, putting people up. Yeah. Anyway.

But yeah, it was, it was a bit now, I just noticed this, the whole game marriage, it's weird because I used to be able to get a lap simply on doing a like a gay reference or eluting something. And now people are like, yeah, so what else? Right. So I'm not subversive anymore. I'm not sure I'm liking this whole big gay acceptance thing. You can start porn. No, I can't do, you know, gay guy can't catch a cab stuff anymore. Yeah, say it with a cam black. Well, I'll tell you this.

Do you think it is the't catch a cab stuff anymore. Yeah, say it's a camp black Well, I'll tell you this you think it is the same thing. I'm joking. What no? No, I'm just asking No, but you can't you can't do You have to do more than just you know, well, I'm the guy who's different than everybody in the room It's like yeah, we're all different. What else you got? You know, so Well, I like it that I can use it as part of my life and talk about other things, but you, but you don't have to, um, hide on stage. You can finally just, if you want to say something that happened to you earlier in your life or religion, you can make a joke about it. You can do it truly 100% honest on stage right now. I'll have the ability to be. Yeah. And

that must be an amazing feeling Yeah, it's great to do that. It's great to use the the gase of as the context not the punchline Right, you know, where yeah used to be before it was like everything gay was the punchline I'm gay and I'm gay and I'm like Yeah, it's fucking guys Can you explain that to your main? What, punch punch? Yeah, the context part.

He just shook his head. I'm telling you, Act Out 2015 will be the biggest event at the end of the city has ever seen in my life. Bobby Kelly, plus Jermaine Fowler. Who's going to act out the victory? Oh, there you go. 4999, pay for you. Pay for you.

I'm going to wear a white Searsucker suit with a big 10-gallon hat. I would do it. Let's do it by the back. Can I be Darryl Hammond? Yeah, I would love to get that CFC money. Have we seen the KFC? I have seen.

It's awesome. It's awesome. Listen to me. I know you were just going to fucking be. It's awesome. Well, I spoke a lot of pot. It's awesome. It's awesome. Okay, listen to me. I know you were just going to fucking be. It's awesome. Well, I spoke about a pot and he's doing the kernel. It's not listening to me, dude. Some of those are fucking disturbingly fucking creepy.

Some of those with a song one, I blocked a thousand miles. I love it. Real that shit. I mean, I don't, I love Darryl. I think he's amazing. But it's fuck do you listen to it like that he nails it have you watched old interviews with the colonel

no one older but he's fucking mailing it all wait a minute the real minute okay wait one second he's doing currently might make more sense to me so he's just doing the impression of the real he's a standard who's been dead for decades i thought he was creating a his own version no this isn't a Heath Ledger Joker. Oh, this is him doing the kernel. I didn't know that. Yeah, man. I've never seen you're gonna love the song And you know what? I'll send it to you on our phones I love the MP3. Why does it open? I can't why did you know that I did? Yeah, you did

What am I saying? How did you not do it? It's you know do it? I didn You did? Yeah. What am I saying? How did you know it's, you know? Dude, I didn't, I'm sorry, didn't do the fucking research. I thought he loved KFC. I don't love, I don't. I don't, I don't, I take a Popeyes over KFC. I mean, who does it though? You got to be a dense asshole, the KFC over Popeyes.

I love Popeyes, but, um, churches. The biscuit for Popeyes better, but I do. Chikens way better. You have the Pope boy sandwich? Oh, the Pope boy. I don't always bring it to food. The commercials bother me not for Popeyes, so whatever.

But the lady, the black slave lady in the song. Slave, she owns the company. She owns the company. Yeah, she owns the company. I mean, she has a more, like a note on it. She owns money to the white bank. You believe a black, Slavy Lady owns pop up. Slavy Lady?

Slavy Lady? Slavy Lady? You just hear at the end of the commercial, you just hear a white guy go, that's enough. And that's on the commercial end. You black it up too much woman. Some guy comes out of the back porch with suspenders and he goes that'll do I don't do girl we back in the box oh don't you give up my cage on the rest of it I don't stop that shit I'll

put you out there I'll tell you the spooks person you get way too many ticket figures and that bucket junior warm up the course give me a big old basket of crawfish My cane in my hat That's the end of the convention that'll do Voices 2016 and starting this summer Dan soda versus our K-Lives The voices There's a god damn Gator fine We invented that So the verses are key lies all the voices under the

There's a god damn Gator fight we invented that we did that that was me and him at Eastville comedy closed I bombed and I walked upstairs and jerked Jamaica's how were they go? Gator fight and we started laughing That was weird originated then I got then then I took it to the podcast That was weird originated then I got then I took it to the podcast Took it without me man. I told you that was mine and you knew it. You took it without me man. Hey Just took it on a road. I mean hot really quick. I just want to go over to you for one second I'm where how many shows are you on right now? Oh One like also we finished rap. I guess one right now is the is which is friends of the people friends of the people now this show Which I fucking it is a funny show. It's a great. It's really funny. Thank you. I mean everybody on it's fun

It's I mean they're younger shit. Thanks man. Appreciate the song and all the guys on the cast I have a good enough relationship where I usually bus balls but Kevin Barnett had to be honest I was like you did a great job. They really sure man I'm like doesn't believe it. Dude, it's a good show. We've eaten them up so bad. We've destroyed them. He can't take it.

It's a really funny show. I appreciate it. It's a great pleasure. Let me ask you a question. The role I was going to do, what was it? Was it some fat dude? No, I don't know, because Jim, what was it? We, I don't remember, but I know like I doubt he was.

He knows. I don't know if I'm doing something. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I wish I was excited. I'ma find out. If it is a fat dude, I'll tell you. I guarantee you it's something to do. Can I make you feel better about yourself? The role I wrote for you and the show that we're just, I hope that's their film, it's not because you're big, it's because you're an asshole. That's what I wrote.

What is it? It's content of your character. Really, really. I think you're a nice person. I think you just called me corporate about 20 times. Corporate to me, isn't it? You're looting that I'm fake. No, that's not fake, that's corporate. Fake is fake. Corporate is me is a fake. You're looting that a fake. No, that's not fake. That's corporate.

Fake is fake. Corporate is a person who starts a business and tries to make everybody happy. You're corporateing my corporate. I'm telling you. I don't like it now. We'll prove it on most people. This summer, August 14th, holiday weekend, get ready for a battle on the bay. You can outrippin' who can outcorp with each other.

I think. Jamit Civic Center. Dan Soda, you are a nice person. And I take that and I agree with you. And I can say I'm only nice because it's easy to be nice around a guy like you. I'm gonna tell you right now. You may call me an asshole and write me,

but that's okay, because if that's what you need me to do, I'll be an asshole for you. And let me just clarify what I said. I wasn't I'll be an asshole. And let me just, let me clarify what I said. I wasn't saying you're an asshole. I was doing a voice. Well, you know what? I love you, dude. I get whatever you need me to do, I'll do. Even if that's walking in shit for a mile.

Do you want me to watch the baby? Because I would love to watch the baby. I would love you to watch the baby. That's a little taste of corporate fists. See why people doing the thumbs makes me fucking nervous. I feel like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Get low and get. Smart.

Now sweetie. Whatever girl. You're on the show. You're promoting something. I am. What do you put? Now can I just be honest with you? Sure.

Okay. I wish I never saw you, Pono. Why? I'll tell you what. Because I like her. She's really cool, down-to-earth person, comic, cool, but I saw the porn, and the porn was my type of,

usually, I don't really, you know, it wouldn't be my type, but it was my type of porn. She was actually being funny and blowing a guy. So it really made me laugh. It was like, she was just making jokes, smoking a cigarette, and it's like, I gotta dick. So it made me laugh, and it was just really down-to-earth. QV pervert number 13, sorry. cigarette and it's like a dick. So it made me laugh and it was just really down there. QB pervert number 13.

Sorry. That's what I love it like porn stars can recall porn the way cops can recall case files. Yeah. Which is like what was that? Oh yeah, we found that body in the hot night. That was a hot tag. Shut the cigarette. You know what that was?

That was precinct 46 case 4731. Fake it a post. Fake it a post. That's what it was. We precinct 46 case 4731 Thank you to post That guy We got a fucking man the fuck she's like that was a blue bang. I think that was No, I never did a blue bang. No, no Too many packs. Yeah, I don't like am either What you gonna say?

Look at like the porn and after it's done you go like I did that better in the other take Yeah, like that's I can't watch like I can't watch other Maggie that one I see myself trying to Or I say oh God too much or something like that's I can't watch like I can't watch other I see myself trying to say who God too much or something like that. Yeah, I critique it too much You know It's weird have you heard of the girl who retired after the blow bang Taylor Hill? It was a throw-gaggers for I think No, what the fuck I think it was he knew That's a Danny L. L. McGor her the case, but she retired. She did a blog, I do it. I think it was too much for me.

That's what I wanted to do. Yeah, well, I did a lot of stuff that I wouldn't be able to do, I guess, in my personal life, because I was... It hurts. Perception? No. Like, the Japanese rate-fetter scene that I did. Hang on, let's just stop, stop.

Hang on, hang on. I need to hear what? Why do you know the word of it? No, no, that's the cartoon. I need you to write that down for the title of the show Like I actually really got off on that like I enjoyed it Well, can you explain what it was to me because I don't know what that is a Japanese great fetish with you? Yeah, it's where a I bring you here for the spank fan Kill myself with my own dick in my belly button

Make sure the cameraman blew out of my penis Don't you like it to see my own penis? My Singer karaoke What is it what is it what is a different website? What is what is your thing? I'm not. I mean, I'm not. I mean, I'm not. I mean, I'm not. I mean, I'm not. I mean, I'm not. I mean, I'm not. I mean, I'm not. I mean, I'm not.

I mean, I'm not. I mean, I'm not. I mean, I'm not. I mean, I'm not. I mean, I'm not. I mean, I'm not. I mean, I'm not. I mean, I'm not.

I mean, I'm not. I mean, I'm not. I mean, I'm not. I mean, I'm not. I mean, I'm not. I mean, I'm not. I mean, I'm not. I mean, I'm not. I mean, I'm not. I mean, I'm not. I mean, I'm not. I have one that be great the actor the actor shows up. He's like hey Rob just got an idea for the scene

This one talk to Alia about it. I'm aware of ninjas I like it. I like what we get what we get what we do and send a P.A. You down John to get one. Yeah What if he uses Like chopsticks Instead of like a knife as he's eating the pussy. Yeah like chopsticks instead of like a knife. As you eat in the pussy. Yeah.

Oh. That is spressed like a lip fight. What is that? And the line is. I'm not sorry, Ben, I think that's Ben. I heard you like sushi ninja. Boom. Then she opens up a pushy.

However, But that takes away the rape, Ben. Yeah, we're missing the A storyline. Fuck. She's chloroforms, she's no, she's no one. Right. Okay, so you get raped. Now, you chloroforms, you have to pretend like you're getting knocked out. Correct. What does he use real chloroforms, she's no, she's doing it. Okay, so you get raped. Now you chloroforms, you have to pretend like you're getting

knocked out. What is he is real chloroforms? No, it's not. You have to be super intense. She wakes up, she's like, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, They just throw a rag on her like there you go. I don't like that you know how you wake up after chlorophyll. Oh, I'm dry, but it takes like metal. Everything takes like metal. And then hand her a text form.

Why do you know that? I got to have been knocked out. I think multiple pennies, because you've been asked for less hour, you didn't know it. And rather the sleep of it. She's cracking your butt on someone's face. Hi, it's a bubble. So in chloroform, do you fake pass out, you wake up tied up or in a dojo?

No, no. Is there a guy going to a department? Take out, sweep the leg, Daniel. What happened, Daniel? Well, they were supposed to film him actually carrying me, but because he was about 5'4", maybe, and I'm 5'11". It was Asian? but because he was about five, four, maybe, and I'm five, eleven. He was Asian?

Yeah, he was actually... No, these guys come from Japan to film once or twice a year in California. They rent out an apartment and stuff like that. A lot of people do that from other countries. Okay, so he doesn't care. You wake up where? Tied up? Yeah, very barely tied up.

Just my hands above my head kind of thing and then I'm just like because it's supposed to be Kind of like a rundown house or whatever So they throw me on like it's just a mattress brand new mattress on the floor or whatever with blankets and then He proceeds to write me quote unquote Is it one of those things where you turn like halfway through you're like like your character gets into it Yeah, yeah, I'm supposed to act like I'm like in pain or crying I was actually laughing so hard during the whole thing though that they actually stop because they thought I was actually like crying or in pain But it was just funny because it's just little Japanese do like saying that he's gonna ring me, I can't do it.

I'm gonna ring me up. Thank you. I'm gonna ring me up. I'm gonna ring you up. That's exactly how I sound you. Could you please, could you please welcome to other room? Yeah, I should be here for me. I'm gonna ring you up.

I'm gonna ring you up. You're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, I remember to be if she had to fight him like karate. She's not to know. No, but that's how he did a fight karate. He won Okay, so I can like three times in that see I don't know why I have no idea why it was just something that just Before after the new California condom laws this was before what the fuck you would X. Why why do you know so much? I don't know, but I love it.

I love that. I keep thinking of a new company, that's why. Talk about this. Look for it. It's awesome. Rick, why do you have a point? Do you like scenario wise, please? Yeah, seriously.

Do you like porn? Yeah, I like porn. Sure. Okay, cool. Sure. That's good. You just had the thing like you were like a narc trying to get in for Like the graph of it. Did you fucking an in a car?

We bang in a car. Yeah, you're on Peggy We made her in a car. I do like the Asian porn though. You do I don't I know I just censored and No, no, no, well, that, that's the Japanese pixelated one. No, the Thai porn, that's where you want to look for. It's me, yeah. Thailand. No rules. But he's such a slut, dude.

Yeah, all the dudes. Yeah. I'm just forgetting. It's okay, it still works out. It still works out. Yeah, it's weird, because they're both delivery boys. Why are you here? Why are you here? Hey, you go to a chocolate in my peanut butter. Yeah, I mean it's weird because they're both delivery boys You go to my peanut butter

At the my dog Joe Joe with this is big dragon You decided on my family. Do you like to like like the girls are trannies? What do you like to girls are trannies or yes? Oh, you're asking Rick In real life No, I've never I've never done that but I think hey It's not that I wouldn't try it. Yeah. Well, I mean, you know, I mean, it should be something today. Okay, Mercedes, come on in.

And what do they call it? T-boys? T-boys. T-boys. T-boys. T-boys. T-boys. T-boys.

T-boys. T-boys. T-boys. T-boys. T-boys. T-boys. T- to look at the circus. Oh my God. There's a vagina. I'm like, oh, that's fucking disgusting. Where's the penis? Yeah, I love trannies. I love two girls. You do? Yeah, because I like it. What was last time you with one?

Well, it was a couple of years ago. Really? Now, could you hook up with, you liked it? What was scenario on that? Well, there was a couple of different scenes ever. Like, maybe you guys are like girlfriends, you're friends for a long time. I'm. And then you're watching a movie. And she was like, and then she was like,

you know, what are you doing? And then you left the room and she started jerking off and you came back and what are you doing? And she hit it but then you found it and you're like, I don't wait and I like movie friends for years. I still like you. And then Jim Norton walks in. Anybody order a pizza?

No, I did a really fun scene. It was a three-sem, it was two girls, and then a T-girl. And it was like a slumber party. That sounds good. Where is that? That was actually on my website. What the fuck? Do I have a code? Tiffany Star was a girl still on her website, I believe. That's great. And the first time I saw that was a pair of

the Doth's couple. I got it already. Right down Tiffany Star. Your germane's poor knowledge borders on like it's in cyclopete where's the thing is that he's such a clean cut looking young young lad you think that he's you know he's always happy he's always smiling those are the exact type that would know all about really I gave him my porn list one night yeah who is it who's me and who else you mark and was it was it a Joe Joe list no is an older college he Got to nervous about that. Oh tell yes, I tell was that's what was everybody else

I favorite she's like this Jewish looking lady big old nose just looks normal hot and Just fucking gorgeous man. I gave him the whole list. You give me like a rundown. You like it. Yeah I'm my favorite my favorite one right now is a massage with a girl She's legit with a hole in the table. No, no. My favorite one right now is a massage with a girl, she's legit. With a hole in the table? No, no, no, she's giving a massage. She's really giving a massage, I mean a good massage and the guy talks her in to doing it and talks her in to taking her top off and then talks her in to suck in his dick and she

really plays it like, I think you're cute but I can't. And it's a lot of apprehensive loads here. Yeah, yeah. And then she sucks it, and she sucks it well. And then he has to pay her, you know, and that's the one I like so far. And then he takes her, they go back to his house and he winds up being like a fucking dominatrix

and he ties these little kids and fucking weird shit in his basement. Wow, it still continues on. Oh, it's a good one. I used to hate this I used to hate the one bang bus when they were like fuck the girl And they were dry like me. I thought was real. Yeah, I thought was real. I was like no, you don't do that. I was right Good job. You pay her the money America, hey, what's your favorite point? I like acaiura. She's a big fan. So you know, that's I go to and It'd be funny. I like the data entry one

And you put it in and then he's accurate You get a bonus and you get security at the next game Not a lot of Indian pros and porn. Yeah As a market I should join that Deepu and the bandits. Yeah, there needs to be. Sunny in the nose. There's a market. I should join that. Yeah, there needs to be great. Deep who in the bandits? Yeah. I don't know why I said that.

How about you Bobbitch? My favorite porn. You said what it was. What was the, what was the, what was the, I like the apprehensive? Anything that I did. I don't like the apprehensive.

I like the quick, my really charisma just shines through. He can't, I just said it two seconds ago. And he's, what'd you say? He was, he's got porn on the bread. I do. He's not. He's not. He's thinking all murky. Weky like sites or like I want to

Like stars I like stars I'm saying I go to the sites. You think what X hamsters great a lot of guys They don't really know the star like they picked their genre that they like like mill for a Star guy your star guy like all stars And you're done with porn you're done. Yeah, you haven't done Almost three years three years you haven't done porn almost three years. Three years you haven't done porn. Yeah, now did you have to quit it like a drug or you said fucking them done. No, obviously, so comedy replace porn for you. Yeah, now you're a stand-up

comedian. Correct. I want to get into this app. We're going to take a break real quick. We're going to go to the chat room real quick. Then we're going to take a break. I got to do a read, but I want to get in because you're what are you promoting? The hardcore comedy show which is in an in all adults last sex industry Comedy show can I go what do I hang on now you have a fucking girlfriend? Oh? They all have girlfriend. Yeah, really I have a wife. This one's a girl show. I just go to the show I just want to go see our comedy show show. I just want to go see our comedy show. Thank you. Thank you, you're great. Good porn stars that will be there. Yeah, they're all entertainers. I mean, I don't look at professions like that. I look at

as all as entertainers. They're all sign taxes. Yeah. All right. So so long as you don't get into trouble, Germaine, I'll go with you. Thank you, Rick. And while you're jerking off, I'll keep people. I'll stand right next to you. That's right, Rick. I can't support Rick. No, stop. The young man has a mission to accomplish. Thank you. And I'm here to help you. You wouldn't do that.

I'm a little sh- I'm the- I'm keeping the girls off you. You'll be completely protected. You might only print up a hair ring. Thank you. I don't think you can do that. Because I'm a giver.

Lich Man, listen to me. You're annoying about Rick. Listen, hang on. I'm trying to talk to you. Did you say you'll catch? I don't think so. Let's go to the chat real quick. The D-Poo chat. His A says, I've jerked to Alia many times.

Hey. Milf porn issues. Thank you. Oh, you're Milf? Well, yeah, on a Mac, I'm 36. I didn't know that. Oh, wait, you look good. OK, isn't that like a mother?

Yeah, a mother like a fizzle. Yeah, I think you still got a little, you could still do 20 something. Yeah, you could do teacher tired. Yeah, T. Oh, I've done a lot of teacher. You do limo driver. Like female.

How of me? Yeah, you can do female limo. Office? You do a nurse. You had nurse. I've been a doctor. You're a cast and call. Do that one.

Secondary. A backroom. A sea world instructor. Secretary A sea world instructor Not a sea world instructor No, that's not good A copperware party A dog walker? No, I think I banged one now

Oh no, he was a kid You banged the comic? He banged justice over? James Pasquie says Louis Anderson teaches comedy class And it's only $3,000 What the fuck? I don't care. I don't know. I said put the punch line over there. What are you doing with the punch line? Don't start with the punch line. Someone feed me grapes.

I don't get that much. Mookie Phillips says Rick's thin wrists are irritating me. I got thin wrists too mother fucker. What's up? Sorry man. What's that mean? You know what'd be good here? Your cuck.

Yeah. Yeah. I guess that's not going to make the documentary. Oh, they're putting all this shit in there. I'm working on the tonight show with that little fucking gem. Yeah, the tonight show is about to point. That is weird. What else you got?

Can't do it. James Pasquie says, if drops the n-word on your pie cast would you make a joke about it or pet your cat all that was a mark maran did he made it drop the n-bomb they said they got a said nigger yeah i'm sorry what the fuck he was just a little more context what he was a little bit more like that obama said that he was a text what was like you make that. He said that. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a what I would say it was like there's a problem and

People need to stop saying that the word nigger doesn't mean that there's no problem. There's racism in this country And that's basically it's more than not saying it in public. Yeah, that's what he said He said not saying in public doesn't mean that you're gonna kill you. Yeah, you racist. You did it. You said that on public White privilege that you're gonna kill you. Yeah, you racist, you did it. You said that on purpose. You just went, you didn't even know that. That white privilege. No, that's popping through my veins, Batman. No, I did. I listened to the podcast. What else you got? Jesus Christ, then you just cared the fuck out of it.

That's it, you're gonna, you're gonna, you're gonna. So, hey, and I said, and then he said, I don't like, it's saying that at all. This summer, this summer came out. Yeah, you need to stay away from white women. said I don't like it say that at all summer it's not came out yeah you need to stay away from white women stop taking our sweet Anglo queens that was that was me doing baraco pop I was there for his paraphrase what else you got dep Depot? Ryan Kaiser says, Bobby, great show on Owen J today. Oh, thanks.

Thanks. I find what I do. Here's the thing, when I do an Owen J, if I could get to sleep by 11 and sleep really good, and I have such a great show. When I go to bed, like one, and I wake up and find, and I'm tired, God damn it, I wind up listening.

I'm a second behind the conversation, and I'm sitting there, like I'll watch Jim talk, and then it turns into TV to me. I'm just like, wow, like Jervais came in today, and he's talking and I'm just like, I forget dummy you're not you're in the show you're not you know listening but I when I get what if I don't get enough sleep sometimes I had a couple good lines we had some good conversations but it was I really gonna get my sleep I can't get up at five in the morning and

do it anymore but you also know Ricky so I know Ricky. There's times we are going on And Jane there'll be a celebrity there and I won't say anything because I don't have a place to say anything I do that then and after the show they're like what do you pussy? Why didn't you talk? You did the bright thing. Yeah, I'm not gonna You did the right thing. I've done that before I just shut my fucking pie hole. Yeah, but like Christian Slater Was in who I love great show mr. What is it? But like, Chris Chilater was in, who I love, great show. Mr. what is it? Hard grain.

Mr. Robot. Mr. Robot's the movie. It, this fucking show is awesome. And Chris Chilater is great. And he's one of my favorite actors. I actually told him to his face, I go, I love all, I was, I knew every single movie's ever got. Did you say that because he was the only celebrity in the room?

What did you really, no, this was, this was before. Oh, oh, they had Rick Ross in that day. He was cool. I'm fucking free. Freeway Rick Ross. Freeway Rick Ross. Freeway Rick Ross. Freeway Rick Ross. Freeway Rick Ross. Freeway Rick Ross. Freeway Rick Ross. Freeway Rick Ross. Freeway Rick Ross. Freeway Rick Ross. Freeway Rick Ross. Freeway Rick Ross. Freeway Rick Ross. Freeway Rick Ross. Freeway Rick Ross. Freeway Rick Ross. Freeway Rick Ross. Freeway Rick Ross. Freeway Rick Ross. Freeway Rick Ross. Freeway Rick. Freeway Rick Ross. Freeway Rick Ross. Freeway Rick Ross. Freeway Rick Ross. Freeway Rick Ross. Freeway Rick. Freeway Rick Ross. Freeway Rick Ross. Freeway Rick Ross. Freeway Rick Ross. Freeway before oh? They had Rick Ross in that day with he was cool Freeway Rick Ross free. I bought his book for fucking fifty bucks. The real room. Yeah. Oh But untamed hearts was my favorite one of my favorite movies the cuffs and I told cuffs Yeah, I like cuffs on tame lights. That was a great movie played in a bamboo a bamboo in hearts In the movie. He has to do that. We're shit on us.

Hey, Jermaine. Jermaine, that's when you realized that this was just all of the end of the shooting of you. That's the shooting. All right, well listen, we're going to be right back. Everybody in the chatroom who's watching live, stay tuned. You got questions. Get them in there now.

Get them to depot. If we haven't got to your questions in the last couple weeks, email them to ykwdatryocast.com right now, and I'll read them, I'll have DPO read them on the air. But if not, just ask them in the chat room, you know, I hate side views, you cock f**kins. Sorry, I have this camera set up perfectly that I look like I dropped 10 pounds.

I'm so sorry, and then he whips up a side view and they show some reality. I have to see it. Just don't let me see it when you do it. You look good. Thanks. Welcome, man. How you lying? You do look good.

You know what I like you right? I like you too. I love you. I love you, man. I love you more. Stop, man. I do. Don't do that.

I do know I'll do it. Let's go to break. We're going to break right now. We'll be back and we're going to talk to this sexy woman about her show. We're going to talk to this sexy other woman. Let's go to break movie and we're going to go to break. Don't tell me to go break. I'll keep talking. I'd like you to people to interrupt you more. Wasn't that the thing break break? Hey, what's happening? Check this out. Baseball is in full swing and you can be part of the action all season long at DraftKings.com the official fantasy partner of major league baseball daily

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The year is 1995. You know what to know? People ask me, how do we make rubberkily sausage? You know what? For stuff, we take the finest delinquents from pasta massages. We put a ponytail on them. You know what?

Tassos. And then you get sexy rubberkily. You know what? Straight from the heat of the same high school. That's what we're talking about. And then you get sexy, Bobby Kelly. You know, Bobby. Straight from the sexy, sexy, sexy. No, Bobby. There's more. There's more.

There's more. There's more. There's more. There's more. There's more. There's more. There's more. There's more.

There's more. There's more. There's more. There's more. There's more. There's more. There's more. Give him the killer and heal him the world He'll get some resty so panty was brave and clean I-bobby sing, I-bobby sing, I-bobby sing He'll hear and drive every time the bonk falls to his feet Yes, someone who shays the truth Just to the minute they do, I-bobby sing I-bobby sing I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe back in the day you had to know everything. Dance song, sing, comedy, acting.

Now it's just, I'm just gonna be a comic. I'm just gonna be an actor. I'm gonna learn how to sing. And it takes selfies. Well, today, well these days you have to be stupider like blog or have a YouTube channel or... I'm gonna take it self. That'd be more obscure Yeah, she'll like that you Instagram. They'll be good at Instagram or fine and stand up Those three stupid things but actually to having link town a talent or whatever back in the day actually man I'm gonna take selfies I like sexy Bob's theme song Did you record that is that like you can get this thing is being recorded? You like use that

You record that? Is that like, you can open all things as being recorded. You like use that. He's a microphone. That's an Indian tech guy right there, even. You know. No. I don't know like he has to be. That's yours, you know.

I'm saying about fucking Spanish boys. I like them. I like them. I like Spanish. It also sounded half like a salsa commercial. It's very similar. Yeah. So listen, you have this big show coming out with other porn stars stars um no other people that I've either worked in the adult industry or

sex industry I have a pimped Dante Nero he used to be a pimped big J. Ocarstain he used to do security at a strip club yes he did um there's Aaron Berg he used to be a male stripper his name was Brandon was he a male stripper? Yeah. You should jerk off for dudes. You're not saying it's so exciting. He'd be jerk off a guy's for money. Yeah. Wait a minute. For money. Not just for pleasure. That's not stripper. That's not stripping at all. Yeah. That's that's all. That's cool. That's cool. That's cool. That's cool. That's cool. That's cool. That's cool. Yeah. That's a little... It's called finishing the meal so we do for Dan's birthday I'm like no summer camp yeah so he used to jerk off for guys I just

the rice was right so if you if I pay Aaron if I want to Aaron today and I was I got to grand I want you to jerk off on the podcast you think he would no three grand no 10 grand I would do 10 grand I'll jerk him off on the podcast. Do you think he would? No. Three grand. No. Ten grand. Three grand. I would do it. Ten grand. I'll jerk him off on the podcast. I'll be like the eyes. This fucking shows, literally the studio. We're going to rewire this whole thing. The light is going on and off. So you have him and anybody else?

Any women? Yeah, yeah. Obviously, Lauren Petri, she was a webcam model and a stripper. Really? As well. And Jackie Ferbeck, she worked in a strip club for about a week. But the girl that I wanted, she's not in town so what did you want uh Caitlin Bailey really what does she do um she was a sex worker real what's that how she was she was an escort she was a cross-exit what's it ever again Caitlin you know

Caitlin she's not race wars some race wars yeah I don't know can you show me a picture of her Caitlin Bailey I got over um. Let me ask you a question. And who was the other girl you said, Megan? Who? Jackie Furback. Jackie, who's that? She's another female comic. We actually have a new podcast together called Hormones podcast.

Hormones. Yeah. Was Jackie an escort too? No, no. She worked in a show club for about a week. So she was a stripper or like worked the door? She was like a shot cover. What?

Like a waitress shot. Oh, right. And you're like, not Jackie. I was like, oh, Wait a way for a shot. You're like not Jackie. Yeah. Oh, I'm frozen. She worked as a Caitlin did what? She was an escort. She was an escort. North Carolina. She's so pretty. North Carolina. Yeah. She was a school. Could you imagine showing up an escrow seeing that? That gorgeous girl. Thank my luck. She was like 17 when she started. I think she stopped when she was like 21 or something Oh, yeah, yeah, I

Walk and they brought in a little slice of the moon I thought you were gonna have drug problems and turns out we're gonna have love problems I got man. That's the American elegant. Yeah. I want you to go take a bath I've been over had good turkey fried chicken That's the b beehive. That should be the commercial. Do not wash your feet. So that's pretty crazy. So that sounds like a great show. Yeah, it's something that I wanted to say. It's all have to be about sex. So they all going to talk about sex. No, no, it's just, it's called a hardcore comedy show. So just hardcore comedy. I actually have an 80 year old woman who plays a Yuki Laley

That sings about being bisexual and being covered in cum. Okay, right she has clothes on when she sings Yeah, no she's just big J. Jerk off when her while she sings it. I don't know, but that would probably cost extra That always costs extra it'd be fun if Dante went up there just talked about the economy It is did 15 on Greece's economy. It's economics. You know, just pay the extra. I work for the cable car. It's economics.

Are there going to be other porn stars there? Yeah, there's going to be a couple of girls. I have flashlight and a doubt�. You go. Bonser it, so. Flashlight? Flashlight. Three flashlights. Yeah. If you're a girl, don't get you. If you have to two slice the peas and she gets you one choker. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go on the writer's shoes. Here's a thing, get her favorite pocketbook and take a shit in it.

And there you go. Now she's better. Now you got it. That's what you do. If that don't work, you should fuck her from a mother. Fuck her and let her tell her and teach her. That's the real problem. There's a porn.

Like that. You've done that one? What, you should have a pocketbook? No. Mother's teaching daughters. I've done that. You've done that one? You've done that one? You've done that one? You've done that one? You've done that one? You've done that one? You've done that one?

You've done that one? You've done that one? You've done that one? You've done that one? You've done that one? You've done that one? You've done that one? You've done that one?

You've done that one? You've done that one? You've done that one? You've done that one? You've done that one? You've done that one? You've done that one? You've done that one?

You've done that one? You've done that one? You've done that one? You've done that one? You've done that one? legs. Um, talking to you, Dan. I know. Yeah. How do you find your ear? Totally blind. I don't know. You have stupid Canadian legs that you have. Hey, bud. It's not a problem, right? You have hiking fucking legs.

I do have Colorado legs. It's got good legs. Thanks, bro. He's building me up because I have chicken legs. He says he has chicken legs. I'm like, no, he's got good legs. You don't have chicken legs. Don't offend chickens.

Joe Montana. I have chicken legs. Do you have fucking reindeer legs? You really know how to make a boy feel special. Yeah that was all for you Dan. Thanks buddy. All right so when is this show Bobbolo? July 22nd at Headquarters Trip Club. General Bobb. Where is that at? Where's that at? Where's that? West 38th Street. West 38th Street and what because we're from New York Horses not a clue. That's probably 10 live. We need to know what 38th Street West 38th Street it's gotta be 10th or 11th day. I know it got it. Yeah, it actually is 10th or 11th. Listen, I know the Bouncer. Yeah, okay, so West West 38th Street and it's it's it's would give the date one more time July 20th. Now it's just

now if you don't like rated our comedy or fuck them shit should you not go to this. Correct. Yeah there's gonna be a couple porn stars helping me give away some prizes and stuff like that. I have fleshlights and... Who's totally? Do you want to use fleshlights? I'm f**king jealous. I'm making you a non-used one if you want a non-used one. I don't... I gave me my fleshlight. Yeah Yeah, it's not sweet. I learned it from watching you We had a talk Have you ever used a rickie ever use anything on your cock others? Yes, oh, it's like a hands-op from God really Yeah, you like it. Oh, you got to loop it up. I know, but I feel like a serial killer like a woman and I took her vagina

I'm like looks like It looks like he's making salad dressing. He's like Nice single I'm doing it Me while I'm just running You made me angry, you should have made me angry You got on his, you got to put it between two pillows and pretend that it's that you're fucking somebody Look at you, look at me, and if you put it like a shirt on the pillow while you're fucking somebody. Look at you, Indian Pearl. And if you put it like a shirt on the pillow

while you're fucking it, you can pretend it's any stranger you want. If you put a shirt with a Japanese flag on it, then you're really turned on. Because you like me. Tora, Tora, Tora. So they called it Pearl Harbor. Oh, did they?

Well, that's a real one. I was there. I was gonna say that next. Listen, so you're beating people with jokes to you. So you fucked one of these flashlights. Oh, sure, yeah. Now, Deepu, have you ever done it up? Never fucked a flashlight.

Now, did you have a fucking flashlight? No, I fucked the fake pussy though, once. It's kinda like a flashlight. You fucked the fake pussy? Yeah, you buy those fake pussy. Yeah, they have like pocket pussies and stuff like that. Get that pocket pussy, get that pocket pussy. You have that ankle thing.

Yeah, me and my, yeah, now they've a foot thing. Yeah, I was a Bahrain I'm sorry. I'm what? Fuck a fake foot pussy. I put a fake pussy in the fake foot. Why? Foot fetishes. When I was a stupid. Exactly. When I was in high school. Yeah, sorry. I got a fucked foot. No, I fucked the salami. My friends and I were driving through Arizona. We got the van. we were in broke down. You guys fucked each other? No.

You guys fucked each other off? No. You guys killed one of them and then fucked them and ate them? Yes. We were next to a porn shop and we went in and then we got stranded there for five days and we had a legitimate group conversation about who was going to smash and grab the fake the pocket pussy that we saw in it because we're like,

I mean, and then it broke down. Everyone's like, who's going to use it first? And we're like, oh, yeah and then it broke down when everyone's like who's gonna use it first And we're like, oh yeah, that's gross. No, who's gonna use it? Third That's the real fucking question. You imagine fifth you're like Yeah, yeah, I tried the I did a festival they gave us the Moontown Moontown, I think they gave us the ring cock ring or and they gave us the... Moon Tower. Moon Tower. I think they gave us the ring cock ring or whatever. They gave us... Those are the vibrancock ring, Ellen.

Last year they gave us... You're not supposed to put that in your ass. Last year they gave us... Fresh light. I have something. I didn't get that out one there. But I didn't get anything. That moon tower.

Bobby's the fucking swag killer. That's my fucking... That's what I do. I kill swag. You know when I show up at the festival, you're not getting anything. The year before you got a fucking computer and a fucking puffy code with the logo on it.

When I show up, it's one of those hats with the metal little clasp in the back. Oh, I can't wear those, my head's too big. I get, I'm keychain here. Mm. My fucking, that's what I get my swag. Wow. Moontown.

Moontownler hat. Hey, here's your comics. Here's a notebook. Moontownler game. Moontownler game is pocket business. I didn't get Shazit. The game is mine. Hey, hey, you're comics. Here's a notebook I didn't get Did you ask for a pocket? I'm sorry, excuse me miss hi-hat. Hey, do you have any more? I didn't get my pocket pussy I checked my bag. It should be under a rubber It was like give civic it for a leather store and no pocket pussy

I didn't get a pocket pass. I fucked the actual champagne I don't use but I don't know not fuck my gifts. Well, they have a new they have a new one. I was on the Anthony Kumi a show and And he had one, a new one that you has, it's a mechanical device and you put, hang on, let me finish fucking negative Nelly. Okay. And you put your dick in it and it clasps on I'm kidding. It stops shaking your head because you're making me not-

I don't like the fact that you're trying to promote fucking a Terminator. It's us first of the machine. Hang on. Hang on. So you put you digging it and it has a string with ball bearings around it. And it goes around, you put you digging it and then it goes up and down, you dig.

Hang on, at different fucking, the fuck you do. They look good. I don't know if it's supposed to fill either of us. A different interval? Yes. And of course. I'm gonna get a dick, hang on, at different fucking, the fuck you dude, it looks good. I was supposed to fill my drowls, a different interval? Yes, I don't know. So it was like a Brooks Stone massage chair for you, dick. A machine.

Yes. Once we start fucking robots, where does it end? I have the joke I just did last week, I can't wait for robots so I can fuck them. No, I go. That's how they're gonna get our trust and then they're gonna turn against us. You're gonna come to my house, my robots gonna be like this. Hello, Dan. Welcome to Bobby's house the next time you come over

What happened to your robot? He fucked me Robot lives matter That gives all cake to Bobby why is that thing a robot I jizzed in its fucking voice box Robert would not let me sleep Robert Grape me My robots that's smoking It grows emotions

Starts adding weight and putting different pieces of metal on it. It's the cold shower that can about a circus I don't care, let it in, let it all in. Abby, he won't stop fucking me. Please, robot god, give me sweet and sweet relief. Third slice, and it's wires from the stas. Why is it oil all over the kitchen? I only feel when I cut. Robert said that we couldn't be friends if I told anybody

Bobby don't give a fuck it's like Shut up I'm fucking robot down get that fucking robot over you get that sweet robot pussy over you The robot goes I'm sorry I'm sorry I have to go then then made me talk. I'm face-tiring with it. They keep going, he goes, and Dan, he's talking to you face-tiring. I'll suck your dick, Dan. Please. I'm like, I don't fuck Robo.

No, let me suck your dick. I think it's a natural. I want to blow you. Let me show you what I can do. I'll make you feel real good. What are you talking to? Dan, get that fucking robot pussy over here. Are you talking to fucking soda, dude?

Dude, get the fucking internet on my phone's lag and then most of you face time you're dead. I told you not to talk to that fucking soda kid! My internet's slow! I know you're talking a dance soda! You're gonna abuse your robot pussy. I'm gonna fuck the first robot you can fuck. Cool bro, more human pussy for me.

I don't know what that is. You know what? That's why you're 70. You have to think about it. Here's the problem with fucking any device for a guy. For a woman, it goes in you. And then you just clean it off nice and easy. For us, we have to gizz in it.

And then clean up on gizz is fucking disgusting. Are you really talking to me about cleaning up of gizz? Because it normally ends on me half of the time. So if anyone's cleaning it up, it's probably me. Listen, gizz janitor, all right, wait a minute. I'm talking about most girls. You know what I mean? If it's not.

Oh, you mean like nice girl? No, you're nice. You're actually nice. But you have gizz on you. But I'm talking about when you fuck something, it goes in you and you clean it off and easy. And like I squirt all over the place, then that's just the whole thing. You squirt?

Yeah. Oh, that's sick. I'm trying to. I'm okay, but still, the device itself is easy to clean. Greg. Okay, our devices, we're jizzing into that thing and to get it out of that sticky

U3 ultimate skin that they've created is a fucking nightmare If you ate it like you're supposed to be a mission. Oh, thank you Ricks like Game of Thrones That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's you can just drink it. Oh, you can just drink it. And this part of Lestros we drink the seed. Corn starts though. Corn starts is how you clean your latex toys. Is it really? Well, after after soap and water, then then corn starts. You can do two things. Yeah, it's all the whole big deal. Yeah, what would I do with the ginor after I fuck it? Nothing. Yeah. Walk away. Me too. You won't call it again. Like whatever. No, it's my wife. I fucking talk to her on Tuesday. You walk away me to you No, it's my wife I fucking talk to you on Tuesday you walk

Wait you walk away from your wife like a hero in an action movie. Yeah, I walk away I clean that shit up blow my deniro a deniro and heat Don't come in anything you can't walk away from it I'm out of the room I can't walk away I'm explode in the background. He looks back too far when you I'm out of the room. I can't walk away. I'm an explode in the background. He looks back too far. When you... When you... When you... When you...

I'm so tired. When you fuck... When you fuck... When you fuck a check and you come, whatever... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're fucking jizz on a belly. And when it's on her, that's her problem.

That technically possession is nine tens of the Lord what's it in your belly button and I saw it that I got none to do it. Sorry honey Bingo that comes on your test. That's your juice. You want help? I might help you Put it back in my deck and I'll clean it up. How about I just drink it out of your eyes talking like my uncle Rick taught me to Otherwise it'll sting It does sting when it gets in the eye does it? I'm being bought a car the citrus Do you have citrus do you guys have a question what you drink and when you eat as comes out of question Yeah, and this mace this fucking is some stupid. Oh, we don't want to ruin the tone of the show

Such a high-class thing. Oh, we did an hour of high-class. We get you on the tonight show To you drinking Great they could have shut those cameras off and saved fucking digital data Now I go listen. I really want to know this from both you and And Dan I really want to know this from both you and Dan. When you... Is it better to have Giz off the tap or when Giz comes right out of a hotcock?

Is it better than... If it's been sitting on the stomach or the face? Oh, no, it was right away. And you can see it. Like right out of the office. So this is like hard shell. You need to like When donuts are made it's better when their first come out you mother fucker. That was a good guy

So it's like really that's why you the 20 a donut puff wise you're Mike not on You haven't been I'm gonna go tonight. I can't 7 30 Neither I'm not doing it either you know glaze with jizz so so come right out of the fucking cock Yeah, yeah, cuz when it's cold. It's weird like I can I can do cum swapping. Oh It's like Lays there on the belly then you've just got hair in it maybe yeah, really yeah, maybe Lince the easiest place to be came on Mount that's the easy I like yeah, I don't mind it in the mouth around the mouth in the mouth a lot of times guys like to come on my tits

Obviously for obvious why obviously because they're really I know you haven't seen them but they're really big I've never seen you said no never I've never showed them anywhere did you show them here? Yeah, I did I did I did I respect for you. Yeah I didn't side is here. I respect for you. I didn't look You were right I don't expect for you. I didn't look right now. I can't see this is my birthday Oh, and it's a birthday and we have You rat licks you'd let me go. Sorry. You let lick lick them I mean, no, I said I was that rig motorboat man. You really? Oh, but I'm not gonna Exactly

Have a hot But I'm not gonna do it exactly. That's why I have a heart. No. Have a heart. Have a heart. I'm gonna give you a moh-ho-dah. I'll suck you dick, man. Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it.

I know you're lying, you're lying, you're lying. I'll suck you dick. Well, he suck you dick, and you'll fuck me in the ass. And then sco-bo will just open his big fat cheek head. He just has to do that, yes, because I'm corporate. I will mold her while you suck my dick. Listen. Scobo just opened his big fat cheeky just had a yes on corporate I will mode her while you suck my dick Then there's no back I stop for one second we need to stop this show because it's my show and I need to focus Rick I've listen man. I like you

Motorboarding is fucking subjective. Okay, now you could, she could pull a shirt up, you could go into motorboat, and then call it quits. I mean, you could, you know what I mean? That was a false sentence. There was a dickhead that you wanted to see, and I'd fucking, I'd grab it. No, you would.

I'd fucking do this with it. I'd go like this. No, you would. I do this. I'm sorry, I got it so sorry. I was like, you felt blood this with it. I know like this. No, you would. I do this. Sorry, guys. I'm so sorry. You felt blood pump into it. You're like, yeah!

How big it was. Bigger than mine. Yeah, the weight. You got to put your shoulder into it. I just look at it. Like, these, they get this big. That's a good idea. You're checking its density.

Well, it's same. Well, we have a new nickname for Rick and it's called selfish. Yes, sorry. Selfish. Selfish. You know, I'm just, because I'm gay, it doesn't mean I'm a big whole bag where I want to do something.

Buddy has nothing to do with you. She's got a team player. Yeah, you're going to get to vote about her for us. That's what she's saying. It's called vicarious. It's called we get to see the best titties in the fucking world because you're awesome. My titties in the room.

Well my titties are close. And Bob's got a spectacular. Not that you've got a dance of you don't have the best titties in the world. I'm saying any titties you do in this room is what I'm saying. She is no brown by the way that's no brown. Yeah I do. Are you kidding? I don't know if I don't wear a brown.

Really? They sag that much. They're heavy hangers dude. I Can't see it see these anyways. I'm married That's like something trying to offer you a bribe and get your job and I can't because I like this job Price I get to see your job. I'll be outside in 20 minutes though. But I do get a four-gatherer. That'd be creepy if I tried to get it to do it, just heard me like at the stand.

Hey. Hey, so what more would I do? Hey, look. Look, the mics are gone. This is me and you. That was mics. I don't know where this whole rumor got started. The gay guys like to play with three girls' tits.

Because I've seen it a million times. I don't like it. I don't like it. I've never heard that in my life. I Yeah, it's the whole Will and Grace thing where Jack used to play with Karen's tits, and I don't I've never heard that I know it's I don't like Are you gonna get a boyfriend? No, do you want a boyfriend? After the tonight show First thing, sir uh... after the tonight show first and third

do i want one no you know right now i'm not like i haven't had a partner for six or like ten years right okay i don't know because i don't want to have to check in with somebody every time i do something i thought you didn't have to i thought the gay community was a little more but when no when you're in a relationship it's like you know you're in a relationship it's like hey i want to i want to stop at this coffee shop i'm away from getting the the paper, but I got a car. I got a column. Hey, I'm gonna have

I don't rent for that. You know, you can't you just man got to shit Yeah, well, I remember this is why I need a boy with a low self esteem. We think some great Yeah, I'm not dealing with Jermaine because his self esteem is fucking nuts. Well sure now it is Sure, no sure now it is Sure now it is You go cash in mid career when I'm doing shitty Starman His dreads a fall not like Stevie Wonder looks like Jerry rice when he played for the Raiders It's just don all back on his head.

I got three dreads left, like cool here. Stop it. Alright, let's do it. Hey Rick, you still telling him to come by. Oh my god, stop you. There we go. Turned out to deal. You're a god.

I'm a peasant. I just need a place to sleep. You need a place to put your dick. Oh, hey, hey. There's one more guy. Well, hey, that's warm, okay. Well, you throw me some bones if I do a little guess lecture, at school, at your comedy school. Yeah, I throw me a few bones.

Yeah, well, we talk a lecture on context. We've actually talked about, I sat down with you before because I did something. I wrote in a book, I wrote that book, how to cheat and get away with it. Oh, right, right. We were writing, you know, a whole gay section of, you know, what, because we were writing from a heterosexual man's perspective, or cheating.

And we wound up not even putting in the book because we didn't have enough information and we didn't have, I don't believe the right, to write about it, because we just didn't know about it. I tried, I said that. I tried to organize field trips you would never come. Come on, let's go. I really did try to ask as many questions. I come up with it.

It was such a huge topic. It was such a huge discussion that a chapter wouldn't have been good enough. You know what I mean? So that's gay cheating? Well, the gay cheating and relationships, there was a lot that goes into it. I've talked to Rick, I was like,

I told the guys I go, there's so much more than just cheat. It's like, they have the same stuff as us. So if someone's gonna write that, it's gonna be a gay guy. It's not a people to Well, we of course How how happy are you about the? Yeah, what are you the dad from the ending of too long food? Who the fuck that people? Hey guys turns out did you like us?

You can do what you want to do what you want to do with the fucking Puerto Riga one the fucking Puerto Riga one. Yeah. So, um, yes, I'm happy about the gay marriage thing, although I'm not, I'm not the marrying kind, but, but sure. That's great. Sure, why not? I mean, it's so weird, because you know, you're grown up, you're like, oh, you're, you're, you're not as good as, and you'll never be, and then you, you know, you get old neurotic,

and I, I don't know, now we're, you were, we're gonna have like well-adjusted homosexuals growing. Well, we're gonna have well-adjusted children. Yeah. I think children, the, the generation that's coming up now, my kid, is Now we're gonna have like well-adjusted homosexuals growing. Well, we're gonna have well-adjusted children. Yeah. I think children, the generation that's coming up now, my kid is not gonna be going faggot or the, you know, n-word and my kid's gonna grow up with black kids, Puerto Rican kids, gay kids,

and they're just gonna be friends. That's pretty, and the one's after that. So we are, we're refer to back to what we were Well, I mean my kid is growing up with a black president. You say that announced the niggas those is bike I don't live in those Basketball who's have nets in my neighborhood Daddy my bike's gone. We'll clearly it's a mix up Let me call around.

Zodding. Turns out it's at Chase's house. His is 12 speed. Yours is a 10 speed. Justin has your bike. But it is true. I mean, think about when we were a kid. If you told me we're going to have a black president someday,

really, that's crazy. You know what I always just forget. And now that we're going to have a woman president president my kid is gonna see a black black president a woman president and And I mean it's it's crazy. It's gonna be marriage It's gonna be weird that like I'm gonna have to talk to my kid and back you can be president like dad There's no white presidents I know yeah, it's gonna be like the fucking the NFL. Yeah, there's so many kids who never seen a white president like these days pretty Focusing hey, yeah, you're all eight eight six. I was too white president. They can do that

But that but we so when they that's what bothers me when the people we were not changing we are fuck you Well, that's why people are not to die. We're changing. We're changing slowly not in slow Faster than ever happened before in the last 10 years. Wow, but we're changing and what's helping is technology. The more the world is connected, the more the world is connected. I would say what's really helping is the people that are coming after comedians. I think that's probably the best thing. That's making progress happen.

That's not a chance. What? I'm kidding. That was a fucking throw. I was going to throw my expensive.'m kidding I was talking I was gonna throw my why would I ever fucking get no because you're corporate Dan you're corporate and that's a bro I'm sorry that I want my little white pink baby to grow up to be president baby pink

my pink baby my baby my peach baby my baby sunscreen come in a peach baby. My baby needs sunscreen. Apricot baby. Yeah, come here, peach baby. Oh my little Anglo prince. It was your bike. Yeah. Right it. And along just it. That's the only sport we have left.

Bicycle riding. It really is. We have hockey. Now, there's a lot of hockey's hockey. It's not a lot of less these are not a lot less than Like 15 maybe maybe maybe he What about you out of hundreds? 100 for me the one you still got that yeah, that's all that's all fucking below

We got golf. I got fucked that up with a white chick. No, he's still great though Good anymore. Yeah, now it's like autistic teenagers. I'll bump Do it. Yeah, you guys are fucking bummed. Tiger. Tiger was gonna take off a golf You took it over he did and now it's done. You got tennis to run. Yeah, it's run He had his run for a minute. What we got tennis? I mean serena's dominating, but serena and What is it? Yeah, but not she's she's not as good for you to like a video on nothing you know

awaited on some of the issues that i want to know what about mba black core NFL black uh... baseball spanish spanish

i would say mixed but no no black is very little in baseball yeah that they're trying to make a movement to have baseball in like the black Communities because there's no one plans anymore. I know we're gonna have a fucking baseball field They should you know that's why fucking hate when you go to like a Urban community is some fucking cement baseball field who the fuck wants to play in cement? baseball field who the fuck wants to play cement niggas oh my god that was him not anybody else yeah I nailed it I turned that idea a

perfect your right it's amazing that the sex it's amazing how inspirational racism can be we don't have any baseball field it's fucking true it's true but you got playgrounds don't you like in the school yeah we know we did but we don't go there to play baseball we go there to fucking play football we play football on the baseball field that's what I well did that too all right

I'm gonna hand out bats in a black neighborhood no one has bad because you had to buy equipment for baseball and no one niggas that I'm sorry excuse me I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm I I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm I I feel awkward. I was like they can't say it anyway We ain't going to Models to buy a damn baseball bat a glove and some base ever we didn't do that the coach did We don't have co what were you talking about see you had coaches? I played against a lot of a lot of black you can't go a pick up baseball game in the hook. You just won't I know you can't we just do football Because it's because there's no there's no You know something suburbs, you know expensive though You can have the gloves donated people would love to give inner

Yeah, but leaks first money leaks cost a lot of money They could there's plenty of places that would donate the money for that What I'm saying is that if you don't have a if, if you have to go far away to have a baseball field, it's, you're not gonna do it. There was a time, I'm like, I'm not gonna do it. It's kind of fucking, it is kind of racist that they don't designate a certain,

like central park is the park for New York. They don't build on it, they don't fuck with it, that's the park. I mean, they should have, it should be, where they do have some type of park with a baseball diamond, a football diamond. So that inner city kids, not just black kids, you know, Puerto Rican, whatever, can play those sports.

Exactly. We take them over. When I was growing up, I was, I had a community center and we all played basketball whole fucking lousy, right? And it's really? Yeah, yeah. Oh, stop it. Stop it.

You stop. That was it. Stop it. You stop. That was his white guy who just got, he was in college and he coached his baseball, and then like when he went back to college, he was like, well, he's gone school. I can play in basketball. Well, that game's over.

Yeah, it's how he felt. We were like, well, we had fun running. He went back to school and he didn't give a fuck no more. I like playing it, but I'm playing football. Hey, do you think there's ever been a gay president? Ooh. How long is that gonna take? He had to be in the closet though

and then he had to come out while he was president. Well, I'll say. Okay, inauguration. Just holding two dildos in his hand. Yeah. Yes, what, honey? This country just got turned upside down. No one's like, what the fuck?

His voice just changes from here. So, for the July turns into a theme party. I'm coming up! The foam comes out of the White House. That'd be a great movie. That'd be awesome. It's a great movie. Instead of the Union, just that.

It was just out of... So we're all... We're doing good. Just throwing shade on everybody. He's like, another thing. Congress, you're being a bunch of bitches. That's right, that's right. Because we all talk that way. No, but that's where I was saying shit. I was making it funny. I'll go very seriously. No, they don't.

Well, it's going exactly what it is. No, that's fucking hilarious. If you were to queen over there, sometimes. If he was to queen, sure. Hey, man, we're not all gay to the side. We're not gay to the side. You're right, man. That's fucked up today. But who is that joke that says not all game and talk like that But only game and talk like that. I think it was I think it was fit Simmons. I was it fit Simmons. Yeah, I think great For Simmons at that job. Okay, Dub Davidov had a whole big thing. I love the game always look like they just smelled cookies I know that look and I don't know what he means.

I have that look. So listen, hey, gay president, 30 years. 30. No, I don't want that. I think, I think, I think, Lord. I think you're fucking wrong. It took, it took, how long it take for the civil rights movement to come and then how long? How long have I, I'm not gay, why are you getting mad at me?

What are you saying? Hold on, hold on, hold on. I'm gonna answer the question, how long it'll take? How long it take? I'll fucking 400 years. So Rick say 2045. No, for slavery. 2045.

I would say I would go under. I would go under. I go 2030. I go 15 years. Can I stop something? You gonna, they want a family a wife some kids A fucking dog. Yeah, they would like to. I think I think I think I think of I think a family can You can have a gay family. So you think modern family adopted red head fat

wife, dude Maybe a dog in an Asian daughter adopted. I think a neopatra carous ran right now. We'd have half a shot. Yes Oh, yeah, I don't know. shot yes really yeah if they like them to know you know you make it's very good point I love him you would have to come from I think if he came from show business where seriously oh Reagan came to show business right yeah most of them good for sure to me yeah yeah but yeah I think if he came from show business we he a middle we got a good premise middle america would already accepted him as as whatever they love him

he's gave us fine and then he had good uh... actually good track record and a good uh... well he would win the coast i got are you know what i want to you know in the cuz you need to get ohio you need to get florida

texas will be a rufflin t get Florida. Texas will be a rough one. Is the Kentucky. Texas will be a rough one. Texas is not a huge one. Texas is a big carousel. Mayn. Yeah, we get Massachusetts. I'm saying you get all New England,

you get all mostly coasts, except for the, maybe the Carolina's you'd lose. Virginia, maybe. Florida would be, maybe. You definitely lose Canada's Florida would be maybe. Maybe you definitely lose. Yeah. For the ones that still for you. There was a still self.

The one you go to a toy store that you can pick between the north and the south hat for your kids. Yeah. They really do that. Dude, I was in there and I was getting a hat from my a silver war hat from Max. And I was there was a Confederate or a northern hat. Yeah, you get blue or gray. That's awesome.

I call Keith. I go, which one should I get? I'd go to get a little max or a Northern hat. Yeah, you get blue or gray. That's I call Keith I go which one should I get? I'd like to give a little max at a Confederate half. Get him to get him to gray one you racist. For a Christian like country to vote for a gay president. Meanwhile, man, it's still you know, it's all I think so to The whole religious thing is gonna be. That's the thing. Yeah, they always play that if you're good. All right, who plays the gay president in the movie? Neil Patrick ears. Neil, man. Perfect. He was a good person for it. Yeah, they always play that if you play the game president in the movie. No Patrick. He's Neil. Perfect. He's perfect for it. Perfect. We need a better gay. Okay. A better gay. What's in the movie in me? He can do both. He is because you're saying right now, who would be about the better guy? He's the bad boy. And what do you have to be gay?

Oh, could he play gay? Could like dance and he could Chris Evans. Could Chris Evans be the gay or like a Sean Pants to you need to get a lot of tanks got a lot of it needs to be like a JFK oh doesn't grow 11 and it's gonna be like a young good-looking president that's gay you couldn't do with Tom Hanks no he's good Gordon 11 Gordon 11 Gordon. Let's do it. Gordon 11. Oh, Joseph Gordon 11.

He's very charismatic from Looper. Oh, yes. Joseph, oh my God. I go for him in a second. Yes. I think we got a movement going here. I say we fucking do it. Let's get him on the tonight show. Yeah. And the first the YKWD podcast, this squad right here,

we get him on the tonight show and we get the first, the YKWD podcast, this squad right here, we get him on the tonight show, and we get the first gay president, and you'll be the first gay vice president. That's right. How's that? I love it. I have the dress. Yeah. No, no, no. Oh, sorry.

You know, I did a stereotype joke. That was really funny when you do it. You just took the key off me with the vlogger. The vlogger. Rick just saved me from all the vloggers. And he was like, I got this. Can we still go after him? That wasn't a game voice.

That was a vlogger voice. Yeah. Very similar. Was it or was it not? Ah, vlog, vlog, vlog. The cock, cock, cock, who do? All right, so listen, here we go. I'm sorry.

We're gonna wrap this up. First of all, Jermaine. What was that? Thank you for coming on. Oh, these bad men, I love this show. I think we started off a little uptight. Well, you know, you started it.

I think you did, I think you did. You brought up the show. I will, you ditched. But I apologize, I should be a apologize. God damn it. What? I was, I'm very sorry I I brought up the show. I will you ditched. But I apologize. I should be a politician. God damn it. I was I'm very sorry I couldn't do the show. We please tell the other people on the show that because I was very Excited that you guys wanted me to do it. We love fucking it. Sir. Yes. I was Because I think the show is hilarious man. I was thank you man. It's fucking one of my favorite shows. What's the name of it again? It's though. It is a funny funny show.

If you haven't seen the show, what's, you can go to, you're gonna get online too. That's right, start watching YouTube, to fucking YouTube. I watch it on YouTube, I check it out, but it's hilarious. These guys are fucking hilarious. And they're very talented, very funny. So I would, you know, I apologize, I couldn't do it.

But please see if I can get a couple days notice. I mean, we don't get canceled. You won't get canceled. No, you won't. I'm a fence cross. Thank you. You won't. If you know, you can come on this show.

I would, hey, I would love to take dance for you. Yeah, all right. You can't have that spot. I'd be a spot. I do. You can have that spot. That's what. Thanks, man.

I'm looking at Chris Copa. Yeah What do you get to plug buddy? Oh, uh friends of the people July 16th 10 30 on 2 TV the second season That's when it comes out watch it. Oh, fuck the great show good food. What else? Um, all my other pilots are dead really yeah like six dead pilots now. It's fucking great But you know what you get six mm-hmm. I should play like nine so I'm getting trying to get 10 I really want 10 dead pilots I can some good you'll get one pilot free It's I really want to get you'll get something you know that nice you you you you you definitely great on TV I mean comic-wise here, but listen stand up

But listen you'll get better if you get famous you'll get that you know You're one of my favorites you're my sweeties What do you got dance soda? Hey Bobby? I'm kidding, you're funny. You're one of my favorites, you're one of my sweeties. That's a good song man. What do you got, Dan Soda? Hey Bobby, I'm gonna be at a... I'm gonna be at the Acme Comedy Club in Minneapolis. That's man I wanna work that client. I'm doing, I'm only doing Thursday through Saturday though.

We had to cancel Tuesday and Wednesday. And then... Why would you do Tuesday and Wednesday? Tuesday make you do a long week there. Yeah, Tuesday? Yeah, and he's Tuesday, Tuesday is Sunday. Tuesday andany what Chicago? Oh, I'm doing Zany's Nashville. Oh me too in December But um, and then if you have serious satellite radio big J and I our show the bonfire will premiere on Comedy Central Radio July 27th why the why the name you want to know the real reason I will talk about it on the show never work ever green reasons

the name. You want to know the real reason? I will talk about it on the show. No, never. Evergreen reasons. It had to be a had to be a name. We had to come up with a name. They wanted a name for the show. And so we just needed a basic name. And we thought that was the best one that we came up with. It was the bonfire. The bomb. But what does it mean? Because we're just hanging out. It's just we wanted to find out the bonfire. Yes, living the woods. Yeah, we're a burn camping. Yeah, I mean, I've caught a throw some other name. Let's get a throw name. Let's get a clear through fucking 20 people. The fucking subway train.

Boo! In front of the stand. Boo! Near the fire hydrant. Oh, there we go. On the front. How about instead of the fire hydrant, we just call it the bonfire.

Oh, I can't hear the door. Because it got to the bridge. On my porch porch near the house Under the train these are all terrible what a cool cool name under the train water cooler talk awful I want to punch you in the face for saying that I'm still not there but it's on sir Comedy Central Radio Series XM 95 near in the studio at 6 a.m. Eastern Mike's a hot hit the button right on the light I'm up are you stroking out are you still?

I would do a fucking zone of creativity the network come up with the name So hot hit the button right on the light of mop. Are you stroking out? Are you still? Did I went to a fucking zone of creativity? The network come up with the name? Are you we had to give them like a laundry list of names? Wow, and they picked that one. We we picked that we put that one near the top Wow, I wish we put it towards the No, I'm kidding. It's good name. I love the name. I get it. Hey, do we do we just went fucking And we're back by the fire. That's great. That's exactly how we want to get one of the fucking long hike but the lie was flat but we went and we're back. Yeah. Well we try to come up with a catchphrase to name it after. There'd be like a no, man. Yeah, I can picture you and him in a canoe like all day. That'd be great. We're woodsman. We're very woodsman.

Would it be like firecracking during the... We're gonna do that. That's like crazy. That's the should. That's what you get. I'll fake fireplace. I would love to. Oh god, I don't get money. How was that? We're gonna have Bobby on the first episode as the hell. The way Southmore does side-world is a church. I was doing breaking branches, like, what's that? And the pop-up guys and the back. Guys, and then I'll just go, Marshmallows!

Where are the Marshmallows? I do the podcast, the real. All right, so what else you got it? That's it. Make sure you check out the actual, You know I love you, Baba. And I'm congratulations on your show, you and Jay. Thanks a lot. That's a fucking great...

Listen, man. You've always wanted to do radio before comedy. And then you got into comedy... I want to do comedy first. I know that, but now you're doing comedy first. And you're cake-in-eating, too. Yeah. Which I'm very proud of you.

It'll be fun, obviously. It's gonna be great, man. You got your own fucking show. You and Jay both have the gift of gab. We do. of you. It'll be fun. It's gonna be great, man You got your own fucking show you and Jay both have the gift of gab We do and I think it'll be great and I'm glad that you guys got it and you still doing your comedy Which is number one and acting? I mean, I don't know anybody better than you still do I don't know anybody who's got it who's really on the rise and getting everything they want How many I reckon every but thank you everything you want to it everything's coming to you Still don't you. I'm not gonna ever, but thank you. Everything you want to do, everything's coming to you. That's not what I was talking about.

That's not what you're talking about. You're still doing what you're talking about, man. Do you know how many things still? Now Rick, on the other hand, now listen, you're getting the tonight show. Well, I hear I'm getting the tonight show. Well, listen man, I'm gonna fucking say something because I think it's an epic story.

I think the fact that you, here's, and I said this to him, I don't mean to be cheesy, I really believe this documentary is gonna let people know that it's okay. It's okay not to be Jerry Seinfeld. It's okay not to be Ray Romano. It's okay, you can be anywhere between there and new in this business.

Be happy, pay your bills, bills enjoy your life and be creative And I really I believe that it's about you who we all love we all care about we all admire But it's also for a bunch of other people so we can relax a little bit and feel you know what I'm I'm I'm okay I'm good. I'm fine. I think that's an important thing We always watch shit with a rocky ending where he wins and it gets everything. But here's a real life, most of us out there doing this as a job and a passion and where's that movie?

And now we finally, I really believe this watching some of the footage, being a little part of watching what people had to say about you and hearing yourself, that movie is here, that you can be super talented. You can do your passion and you can live your life, have beautiful friends that care about you, and different spots of this business, and be happy. So I think it's great. Well, thanks. And if you don't get to tonight's show, then it's I think it's great. Well, well, thanks.

And if you don't get to tonight's show, then it's gonna be a failure. But listen. Right. I would say that the thing is that in life, you don't get what you want, or you don't get what you deserve, you get what you get.

You get what you need. And sometimes what you get is better than whatever you want or deserve. So you look at it that way. And you're happy. Yeah. It's great. It's it, man.

And you're helping people I don't think there's anything that is that is the I don't think there's anything on this planet Yeah, more than that's more gratifying And there's that is a bigger gift than helping other human beings. Yeah to yourself To help other people achieve their goals achieve their dreams. You cannot do anything better in life achieve their dreams, you cannot do anything better in life than to do that. Not money, fame, whatever the fuck, to help other people achieve their dreams. And is the greatest gift that you can give yourself. So, good for you.

Thank you very much. Turn to Motivational Talker. I want to kiss you. Yeah. Good job. I want to kiss you. We wrote that down before. Exactly. I wanna kiss you, right? Yeah. Good job. I'll kiss you, right? No, we wrote that down before. Oh, my gosh, it's agnate.

I rehearsed that for like three weeks. How'd I do, guys? I got that last part. Good. Remember, we worked on the area. I totally believed it. I know, I totally believed it. I know, it's true, but I really, I believe that.

And for you, total opposite. Listen. Yeah. Total opposite. There's doing such shows She helps so many people I knew I've actually helped a lot of you. I think it's a service I think it's great. Well, you I mean listen you sleep at night. You fucking bailed the fuck you said fuck Here's the thing that you did you went from one business business to another and it's always that stigma about your business.

You can't do it. You always, and you did it. So it's like quitting smoking. Oh, I still can't do that. Right. Well, but I think it's great that you did that. You know what I mean? And you're not fucked up in a head and you're head about it.

You're not like, I don't talk about it anymore. Whatever, it's you. It's you. If you accept what you did, you accept who you are. You have no scars. And now you, what? No scars.

No scars. No physical. No physical or emotional scars. No, good for you. Do a great wish show, Bob. It's a headquartered gentleman's club, July 22nd at 8.30 p.m. And I also am doing the Milwaukee Comedy Festival in August. Oh, that's great.

Awesome. Awesome. Thanks for coming back on. Thanks for havingm. and I also am doing the Milwaukee Comedy Festival in August. Oh that's great. Awesome awesome. Thanks for coming back on. Thanks for having me. You got it. Come back on again, alright. Thank you. And I really didn't want to see you move. I know. I was just kidding. Yeah, as you were winking. I'm not winking. You have something in your eye? No, I have nothing in my eye. Which is your anriola. Chris, what do you got first of all, Depot? I got one thing I got to show August gets ninth in park slope at my favorite place you stand up comedy freddy's bar

on fifth avenue to check that out can i say something you guys listen in who have shows hook school ball up start getting some shows helping out that's deep i mean deep who up sorry depot get it shows uh... i think because i don't know if you announced this you always just blow it off but you're a stand-up comic yet i mean i do comedy every day and i don't i don't want to force it like i don't want if you announced this you always just blow it off but you're a stand-up comic

Yeah, I mean I do comedy every day and I don't I don't want to force it like I don't want to you know Be like I like oh I'm on the podcast now, so like oh, I think I just deserve you need to get you need to go I need to be more assertive I be more sure and you also have to be scared you have to get past these other you have to be somewhere Maybe we shouldn't go and do it find it where you're at and then go back and do it again. Yeah. Yeah. Wait till the show's over to tell net. No, because he's a new guy.

Yeah, and he's kind of like explaining my situation right now. He needs to take risks. No, I do the occasional show. Just like I'll hang out and they throw me on. Yeah. I do that. I don't tell people in the air what is. What's that?

He get away to the podcast. Oh, it's on his. His. I don't know. What is going on with his career What's wrong with his career? Nothing wrong with his career. He's brand new, dumb dumb. I'm saying that he should... Press you?

He should... Yeah, but you're relatively new. Yeah, relatively new. Yeah. And nobody should go out to more clubs. You shouldn't just be doing these five o'clock shows. You should hang out with these Fox and do some real shows. I mean, if I hang out at Stand Up New York and and like, I mean, that, uh, they're not going to just throw me on.

But they should. That's what I'm saying. If you're listening, get them to fuck on stage. Jesus Christ. Alright. But you don't think you should get on stage? Yes. So what are you fucking? What are you fucking about?

Why don't you recommend it to them? Why you don't think you should be now? He's never. Yeah. First of all, no one is screaming in the mic. No one is screaming the mic. Here's here's another thing. No one in this room besides Scopo has seen me do stand up. Yeah, I know. So, I mean, it's he could be bad. He could be terrible. I've seen you do stand up and he's good. I've watched. I sent you a really shitty clip like a year. It doesn't matter. I've watched you do

stand up. What I'm saying is it's time to start going to the clubs getting on and there's clubs listening or whatever you should give to you for a spot And because the only way the what I say to you scopo you need to fucking go out on the road to real weekend spots Because you're doing all the LOL bubble that's great But you need to get the fuck out of that go do a real club real show in front of a real audience Wow, and then you see where you really are and and you can, you're all of a sudden, you see, oh shit, doing these clubs, all these fucked up crowds, and all these fucked up places,

now I'm in front of a real audience. You're actually funny. Then you realize you're funny, and that confidence really can get you to the next level. You need to be able to believe in yourself. You need to be able to feel shit. It's like, I play the drums. Learn, I suck, I suck, I suck, I suck.

But then all of a sudden, I'll take a lesson with my teacher and he'll, he'll, he'll, like, well, you'll do some Daniel son shit and so Mr. Mia, do this, do that. All of a sudden I can play it. I'm like, holy shit, I'm fucking, I'm all right. I'm not that bad. You know what I mean? You need that confidence to, to, to go for it sometimes.

That's what I'm saying about you. Well, if people want to give me that confidence, they can go to Freddie's bar and Park's low August 9th. That's right. 9 o'clock. Go support him. Yeah. Go Sam. If you're the most honest review I've gotten is I have some pretty good stuff. That's not bad. Yeah.

Those from your mom. I sent that to you. She was actually talking about your Pokemon collection. That's not bad. I like the message. Hang on one second. Let me get that to you. She was actually talking about your Pokemon collection What's the bottom? I like the bottom. I got one second. Let me get that before yeah I'm gonna get this off my hands of that you Bobby that one of the hot one I threw out the meeting you can review me What do you got? I'll let you know? What is that? It's the bottom? It was too late to explain the shit No worries. No worries. No worries. Go ahead. What do you got? I'm at Uncle Vinnie's July 31st, August 1st. And then Bobby will be... Oh, that's the point.

Yep, how about that? He came to Uncle Vinnie's with me to open, to the guest spot. Now you go there all the time. Can I open for you sometime? No. I will always, I won't open for you. I mean, you got stuff.

I think you are. All right, let me do this, let me do this. I think I remember you trashing my comedy at the beginning of the show. So now it comes back to me. I trash a comedy. Huh? I trash a comedy. I trashed the fact that you didn't come to the show.

I'll send you the clip of Deepo saying it. Okay. No, if I get something of course, I'm pretty. I'm dissers. I would definitely open up a key that I would like to open for you. Yeah, be a funner time. I'm going to be a funner to bed right after the show. I'm sleeping. I'm sleeping. after the show. I'm sleepy.

I'm sleepy. I'm sleepy. I'm sleeping. I'm sleeping. I gotta put my teacher to the pillow. I said tuck me in, dammit. What do you have? I'm making me feel it.

I'm feeling it. The way you're not putting it over my shoulder. This week I'm at Comic Con Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday for Sex Drugs and Rock and Roll. Next Tuesday. I am uh... we are the premiere of the party. The premiere part of fucking exhausted. For sex drugs and rock and roll in New York City. And then um... Thursday the show airs. Yes and then that night you'll be at Gotham. Gotham comedy club Thursday Friday Saturday July 16 17th and 18th. Thursday Friday

Saturday should come down with you. I'll be there No, you're not there. Are you there? I'm with you. I'm a few Saturday. I said next time next one. Yeah, oh, you're gonna be the seller anyways. You know that you jack I want to do a weekend with I will do a weekend when we're alone Okay, like on the road from everybody So I can come in your eye when we're alone. Like on the road, far away from everybody. All right, okay, you're staying with us. I'm gonna vomit your eye. Fine, whatever, dude, whatever. Sorry, did I say that?

You did, man. That's life, you know. I was like, that show is. Spit it out. July 24th, 25th, Comedy Cove, and Springfield, New Jersey. Keep going. August 7th and 8th, Governors, first night, as at McWire's, in Bohemia, and then the Governors of Broke Ridge and Belmore. Mom, and then the end of the month I believe I

am at August 20th 21st and 22nd at the 50 West Club in Salt Lake. I'm in Nashville at the end of the month on the 30th. That's not there. That's not there but it's coming up. I'm in Nashville at Zainys. Okay so I have been there in eight years. The club owner's a great guy. Going back there, I'm excited. Nashville's the weekend of the 30th. I think it's Thursday, Friday, Saturday. So if you live in that neck of the woods, and I mean that neck of the woods,

fucking spread the word and buy tickets, like everybody, everybody here. If you see where live, go to our websites, go to their Twitter accounts, follow them, go to their shows live see them And tell me heard it you heard them on ykwd and support our live comedy That's why we do all this stuff for you come on here and entertain you with this so you can come see us live See what we really do and if you ever want to take a class

The chrome recromes the man and make sure you check them out on the tonight show coming up You guys are the best audience in the fucking world. I love you guys. You're the best. ¡Nunca se ha llegado a tus chiles! Chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles,iles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles,iles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles, chiles Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincindia aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com.

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