Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Comedy in the Dark

Episode Date: May 19, 2014

Robert is joined by Ry Doon, Louis Katz, Brendan Collins, Mike Brown, Dan Soder, Kelly Fastuca and Chris Scopo. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Discover Gives of Luxury at evata.com. You're listening to Robert Kelly's, you know what, dude? On the RiotCast, riotcast.com It's a dead end. It's Robert Kelly's. You know what? I can't. I can't. There's no top base, no directions. But I love doing it. Why you cast a hug? Shine!

Ah! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha Yeah, Roger I don't know if I'm masculine enough for this show you know this music This sounds like a this sounds like a theme song to a podcast called hepatitis weekly That song if that doesn't if that doesn't get your fucking heart going You stink that if that doesn't make you want to start working at a carnival. That song is fucking crazy. I love you. You want to smoke glass behind a circle, K. Macy, think of like lifting.

Yeah. I played freshman high school and I was tiny. You played freshman high school? Yeah, what's your first one? First one, first one. What is your first one? I'm sorry. I played a high school rise nervous. All right, he's between two black guys. I can

Yeah, well one black guy. Well, half white black. Yeah, I'm I'm confusing. I know. This looks like a channel on lobster tube. All right. So deep. Can I can I speak? Massive. The important site. Sorry, right. That was a very accurate thing. Sorry, right. That was a very accurate reference. I think right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, because you have the wrong shot up. What do you mean? They're not coming up? Yeah, they're coming up. Look at you two. That's crazy.

And they're not there. Well, go to, go to just their single shot. Where's the single shot? I have deleted it real quick because. Yeah, well, don't do that. Go at it. You're fucking loon. Can you just do this on your own?

Can you troubleshoot on your own? You fucking, oh yeah, I'm just letting you know. Walk from queen. That really is a union fucking problem right there. You've got problems, it's my job, but now I'm making it everyone's job. What? Right dude, when you played a freshman,

when you were a cop, that was that was cool. To solve a drug problem. I'm not just saying I played freshman football in high school. Which is the camera nut on. For an undersized white guy, I know it's the worst. Yeah, it's terrifying Like I'm not I'm not a masculine dude There's like these young kids trying to be masculine and it wasn't happening for me that music reminds me I was the season that you play for just one. Yeah, I was actually pretty good a tried hard

So I gained respect there when I played freshman football kid rock came out with the devil without a cause So that was in the locker room all the time. I think a cowboy. I just came out cow Go into a fucking boring radio music fucking fucking you conversation I like wow that was some real-life morning fucking zoo oldie station Yeah, I remember let zeppel and stiff fuck all he is what do you want to talk about get pussy smash and muffs it's the rapper Kelly muffs smash it sponsored by salon dot com all right here we go the home for I know you're gonna fucking get salon dot com and yeah because you loved it anyways let me just go through the room here and introduce everybody before we go down fucking memory lane. You know, remember, Abba?

Oh, I do. Shut up. All right, first of all, we got, you know, of course my fucking confinon, my love of my life. Oh. The seed, I feel like I helped plant. You did. Um, where I do.

Yeah. Let's get that part. There it is. No, there it is. No, we got Dan Zoda Zoda who is You know one of the fucking regulars on the show one of the originals. I call you the original I feel like yeah, I was on one of the first albums

Yeah, you're all your generations of the band. I'm just a quiet bass player that clicks his check Fucking Scopa what he did can I just really quickly, what he did is he put everything up, but he didn't check the cameras. Which are the cameras that are working? No, that wasn't on. That was not on, because when I came in, it was the same shot.

You guys didn't, you saw the shots, you didn't see the people, and the camera wasn't working. It just went out. Now he's panicking. He's worked so hard this week to be perfect. And I walked in, everything was perfect. And now it's fucked up. So you're probably gonna have to shut it off

and restart everything. So everybody watch it on YouTube. Just hang in there, we're gonna restart everything. The video fucked up yet again because of the shitty people running the show, beyond the scenes. And one is a chunky Australian with amazing black eye titties. Thank you.

I will take it. Black guy. Black guy. Yeah, black guy. Yeah, I agree with Thomson. What does that mean? They're a little mushy and droopy. Like, black guys like a droopy.

White guys like the fucking fake titties. You know that, you know, saturday night fucking night fucking strip club titty these are like a Wednesday afternoon titty. Yeah, yeah, it's like the struggles around. She's got a she's got doctors secretary titties where you're like filling out paperwork and you're like I'm kind of horny. I'm not really. Like guys on the street love it. They always come in. Why they do. So, you got in. I don't want it. We got over to the left on the couch. Ride-Dune is back, Ryan. Hey, famous.

I mean, literally amazingly famous on Vine. And now on Instagram too, I think. And he's done a lot of great shit. And he was one of my first Vine people that I loved. And now he's back. He's back in town. We also have Brandon, what's your last name? Collins like a brand new call. I know you said that before you love that You have the hairline of Phil someday too. I would love it too. I would always bring up Phil Collins if my last time was called No, Brandon and where you from, buddy?

New York, originally from Michigan. All right, been New York almost, it's 10 years now. Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. You were gonna be like, oh man. I wish it was more racial, but it's not enough racial, but it's the perfect amount. You know what it is? It's front office racial. We're like, we can't get too mad at him, but how can I bring this to HR without telling him? We did, right?

It's not like Mike Brown. Mike Brown. Mike Brown like the color. My, Bobby, Bobby's like one of those website generators where you give him a name and it's like give him a white guy name and he'll turn it into a black guy name and you're like, Mike, and he's like, Malik, and then you put it on Facebook. My black guy name is Malik.

All right, so here's the deal. And then we get of course, Kelly Fistuka, who waved her fucking under a fat homestay. Yeah, and then of course the Jew is late. Whoa, that's a good one. That just come on. What the fuck, though? You know, you set your people back.

The black guys are early and you're late. What the fuck? We're progressing. I was wondering how the press, I'm gonna press tour. You're gonna press junk. For what? For ArgyTV on Saturday. You know, me and you are gonna be on the other ground on Saturday. What press tour are you doing? Oh, they didn't call you about

I just imagine Louis on a junket with like one of those stand-ups behind you and you like Manudo's it's like what was the like? You know stand when when when a tell send yeah, I'd love Robert Kelly, and they went, really? You know somebody in comedy is that you went, really? I mean, we could just do Pete Davidson again. We can wet his lips differently. We can do different makeup.

They'll think it's a different race. If we put his hat on the other sideways, you want to do Bobby? Okay, we can do Bobby. I mean, if you, Dave, is that what you really want? What we'll do is let's take the mittens off Big J and put a ponytail on. And we call it all crowd work twice. We are a back by the way. And I got Louis Katz cats one of my favorite people Just hilarious mother fucker because you don't you I thought you were gonna be somebody else and you were totally the other way

You're just a creep you got me in the mother's milk Six you may not my own chick see that so good though. I drank titty milk because of Louis I did too man Sweet right right poor r sweet. Sweet right. Poor right. Vine trying to catch up. Vine. He has. He's from the big lights in the glamour of

vine. He's from corporate vine. We're from shitty riot cast. Just the depths. We he's from giving. What was that movie with demolition man? He lives up top. Yeah, that was great.

We're Taco Bells. We're down with Dennis Leary having rat burgers. Yes. Um, I already can't promote this show. I'm saying Phoenix. We're gonna make this show so you can't even talk about it. It's fucking fat, licking, cunt, whole shit, my mouth. And then kill a baby. For eyes of my life. I do. Kill a baby Verizon right dude Skipping P.G. please. Why what do you why can't you what do you do? No, he's kidding. I'm kidding But I have a lot of I'm lucky to have fans, but they're very young. He has around how many now?

2.1 we knew you were at two point more One thousand We had him on the show I saw this guy a year ago. He had 20,000 fans on Vine, but he was so fucking funny Just this he had these all these characters he did and he just made me laugh and I had him on the show 20,000 now It's 2.1 to was it to almost 2.2 million 2.2 million Killin' it That is Yeah, you can't talk to him. I said that's our cast. Yeah, like who are you?

Yeah, well, yeah, right. You can't talk to him. You can't talk to him. You can't talk to him. You can't talk to him. Yeah, like who are you? Yeah. Oh, yeah. What am I killing it? Yes. Well, here's the thing though.

Here's the thing though. If the Vine thing will go away, like everything, everything in social media does go away, like my space, it goes away. But when it goes away, I think you're going to be one of the guys, and there's a few of you who will capitalize, get a show, or go on to some type of SNL or MTV somewhere to cap. There's going to be some people that are famous on Vine right now with me that when these two point two are going to die. It's literally going to be the apocalypse.

They're going to be walking home one day and they're just going to be gone. It really is almost like it's for some of them It's gonna be like hot chicks that just get old and don't realize that that ends. Yes Be nice to me. Yeah, you're old now. I like my thing the apocalypse better, but if you want to go Much more human if you want to make it you're made it sound like the whole world was gonna Yeah, for them it did yeah It sounds like the whole world was gonna add. Yeah, for them, it does. Damn it, I didn't pick up.

No, but I think there's a couple of you though that will actually go on to something else where I absolutely something, because you guys are doing shows now. You guys are selling out shows. Correct. Every once in a while, I've done only a few shows where I promoted it.

And he's smart because he's got stand up. He started stand up at the beginning of this and he's so hopefully by the end of this run, you'll have some time under your belt where you'll be able to go do your stand up. That's my plan. Long-term plan, like I'm picturing Vine, it's like a boy band.

These girls and fans are gonna be tired of it in three to five years. It's like boy bands. And by that and fans are gonna be tired of it in three to five years. It's like boy bands. And by that time, hopefully, they're ready for standup. And you'll be all the dude. I'll be ready for them too. Yeah, that's good. Your fans are rabid.

Yeah. They show the fuck up. What do you guys do at live, Varnishos? Is it just seven second goaks? Right. They get a guy. All right. And see.

And you guys ready again? There's a big bell, garrr. That's it. That one went eight. I almost burned out. We went to nine. Those were running on fumes. You just stand there and hold up our phones.

Yeah. One thing I do have a bone to pick what you write. Because I've followed them. And now he's been on a few, now the people have had them on his, their podcast. And he actually said, and he was, Bert Kreischer, you said, oh, this is my favorite podcast. There you go Rob.

Where I used to be, I used to be the podcast. How's it feel? You no longer is bottom bitch. Yeah, apparently. I didn't know about that. That's a bit of a second yet. What? No, I'll play it yourself. Let's see, there are, that's why I can get. What? Now, play yourself.

Let's see, there are... That's why I brought these two black guys in, by the way. Deal with them. And he's going to actually work out the details. Contract. That's what's up. I've been out in Hollywood every now and then. I've heard of it.

And I learned... Hang on, one second. It's a place where you go if you book something, or you film something. Most of the stuff is filmed. Most of the auditions are out there. So the stuff you see on TV, that's where most of it's filmed. Oh, okay, okay.

Oh, wow. That's really cool. Where Kelly will never go to, unless she's going home to Australia. She's a stopper. Stopper, huh? Louis, she's going, that's right. Stupid. He's so not here, it's a lovely inside.

I was gonna make jokes saying how... I was saying that's seven second window motherfucking. You're on the fucking 18th. That's true. You take your thumb off that screen and you're fucking this room. And I'm nobody. Yeah, birch podcast he listens. We don't do that.

We're looking for the, all right, so listen. So you're doing this thing, you're doing live shows now, but you're also doing commercials. How does this work when you do these commercials on your vine for companies? And do you get paid a lot? Yeah, sometimes they get paid a lot. So you have money now. I do, like right now I'm running out, but I just got a few more deals. So there's another deal calling right now. I want to have to do Nabisco.

Does he like cookies? So what happens? I have a vine agent. It's Jerome Jar. You know Jerome Jar, the French dude. Really? He's a Frenchman. You know what I'm going to do?

Oh yeah Jerome, who the fuck is Jerome? The vine agent. Oh sorry, sorry. My Twitter agent has been talking to him. My Facebook agent. I'm going to have to deal with Jerome. Yeah, I'm going to keep going to those well-tools dry, but all the deals he only negotiates in seven second verse Six

Oh, it's got a real cool. You got Snapchat. I'm running the... You got Snapchat. Did you guys have beef with Snapchat comics? No. I've been on that undergrub Snapchat rep. Bobby and I sent Snapchat to each other pooping. That's all we do.

That's all we do. All in two. Every day I take a shit, I stay a Snapchat. But today it was a little different. The best was when you first learned about snapchat And you were sending me videos that you didn't know her videos. It's just you looking at it He's like breathe Or you say something like

Started conversation as you send me Snapchat is so addicting because it goes away and I don't want it It's like my career. It's like I hit this amazing couple moments and then it's just gone I just want it back and I keep hitting the button come back. Please please Please let it happen My guys hang on one second here's my This is a French agent hang on just on you my wife. Don you're on the YKWD live Are you are you shitting me

I hate you Is the baby in the car All right, then I hope you don't hit a tree. All right, go ahead. I just knocked on the other way. Oh, that's it. Nothing big. No, I got your jeans. Don't, don't announce me. Don't make me real. They say they ran out of denim. They get a comeback. They wanted that extra denim for that pair of jeans he had. They were making a hearty, I believe, not a denim. What are you making a couch? Listen, Baba, I talked to you later, but you know that I do the show on Tuesdays at three, right? Yeah, well, I wanted to call you back. I saw that you called it and what you freaked out

that I didn't call you back. Oh, that's a little. All right, I'll talk to you later. I love you. I love you, baby. I love you, bye. All right, bye. Oh, God.

Ryan, dude, we'll not do the finals. Without $2 million, don't leave out in a brown paper bag. He only accepts Kashmali. That's the way it is. Did I love that you're the Chuck Berry of Vine? That's what I'm gonna pick in my head. Ryan, Ryan will only do a vine if you pay him in cash before he had in a brown paper bag.

That's awesome. So you get these ads for these companies, you have to incorporate them in your vines. Yeah. So, I have a agency Jerome Jar is a popular vineyard. That's why I thought you might know him. Oh, sorry Here's you when Rive first came on. He was just a sweet guy now. He's kind of getting like hey, you don't treat me this way anymore We do right You got that Doritos money now I don't give you walked it with Tom Cruise. We make fun of that little short fuck joke.

I like the thought of you having a bouncer next time you're on. Sick. So you get, but what if you can't incorporate the thing? I mean, what if it's you like, dude, I can't do this. It's not going to work. The brands will give me like a rundown, or they'll say, pictures some ideas. So I'll pitch an idea Sometimes there's guidelines like you need to show the product. It's got to be this theme. I did a vine for Pepsi

They gave me it Everybody's on a rise boat now Dan you didn't a corporate Dan you didn't have a fucking joke on that one Because I'm a sprite guy. I don't want to go to the Cola team. I wanna hear what they're marketing for, a strategy, so I'm gonna take it back to Coke. That's a little way in heckin' tap.

Yeah, I'm corporate. I work for Coca-Cola. Go ahead, vibrate, come on, drink. All right, what do you got? So Pepsi gave me a lot of guidelines. Right. Not a lot of freedom, so the vine didn't really do that well Then I did a vine for all the red down while you're talking Pepsi hold the red ball. That's right You did Ford I did a vine for you what?

If you ever if you ever need eight seconds of your life If you ever need eight seconds of your life Six That's the joke I'm gonna keep building If you ever need 18 seconds of your life taking away well on a little place So they gave you four did you just drive a truck around? Ford gave me a bunch of freedom. So Ford gave me a bunch of freedom.

My pitched an idea where I have a character named Kathy. And she says, my perfect guy has either an accent or a Mustang. And then it shows a French dude in Mustang. And he says, how about both? And then that's the joke. Wait, it's going to get interesting. Wait, it's gonna get interesting. Uh, look, we're only using it with six second boats,

so speed it up. And then he showed an anal blouse. Should I dark? And Ford said they couldn't have any cross-dressing. Really? Well, I said, it's an American truck. I don't know why my ladies have in winters. If I'm driving, if I'm hauling American steel, it'd better be of dick and jeans, not

a dress. Relaxed, Dix. Built for dick. I know the militia market. You scared the two black guys. Yeah, tone it down. I'm driving down the street. I'm in rural areas.

I'm going to meet in the woods, late at night with a cross burning in the distance. Let's see your internet bloggers out in the hills of Appalachia. If I'm delivering my moonshine, welcome to Huff Poe Appalachia. You two definitely were relationship, Jango. Yeah, I can handle it. Well, sir, I do declare that, so they said no chicks with dicks.

And then I said, Kathy is a woman, man. Oh. And I took the, I took like the proud artist approach. I was like, listen up, Kathy is a woman. It's not a man dressed as a and they said okay and the vine fucking killed I'm fucking rich is fuck now I'm kidding. I'm kidding. You only do good if the vine is popular. You only get no. No, so it doesn't matter It's like right. I don't get paid no matter what you get paid now the vine was popular

How many hits how many how many? Well it was with Jerome jar the French and that's the guy who the happy guy that's on Ellen Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay great now he used to fuck he used to bug me He's the boy We're about to get the greatest story The fuck man Bobby he's French I mean, it's a wrap-in. Bobby, he's French, and he's a festival.

By the way. And above the peelback that he, you dick. Oh, yes. Slytherin. I'm second size. All right, listen. I'm just taking off that nice fucking skin sleeve. Oh, my God.

It smells like French cheese Wow, do you do not lie? Pepele poudic All right, so I I used to he used it well he does these things where he hugs people and he says hello But he he really he really annoyed people. He was very annoying in public. And I was waiting, everybody really was on the, we were on vine, waiting for him to get knocked

the fuck out. Just think someone to go, you know what, fuck you, because he was scary. He'd go on the train and do crazy shit in New York. But he actually, he's very, he's fearless, I would say. But he comes at people, he'll come at people just with like a hug. And it's this weird thing, dude, but he's from France. He's got his little brother as mother.

He's a very funny and loving guy. He's on Ellen all the time. He's on Ellen all the time. Huge. Yeah, I'm a fan of mine. You met his mom after you. On the vine. I, uh, yeah, I have to we fuck. He's your agent.

Is he going to listen to this? Apparently, you're not corporate anymore. Apparently we fucking ruined poor Rydoon. No one listens. You saw his mom when he was fucking fucked the rest. I know he's your agent. Vine agent. So he's the founder of a company who is an agent or agent.

Agent agent. He's a French agent. He's a French agent. More than one agent, a's an agent or agent. Agent. Okay, he's a French agent. There's more than one agent for a person like Vine. Yeah, like what? So wait, he is not only a Vine star, he's also, he's not only the president, he's also a president.

Yeah. And he like, he negotiates deals. He, I think he just founded it now, like other people do stuff for him. Okay. But, yeah. Is he gonna bury Gordy you? Is he gonna take all your money and like,

I mean, you're gonna turn out that you got a raw deal? They, I still haven't inquired about how much the company makes, like, what? You're having a, what? Why? Because I'm a bad businessman. I don't want to be like,

look at me, look at me. Look at me. It's like one of those old motel centers. How much the money? Yes. I know, I know, I know. Listen to me. The rich man, he's gonna make me? Yes. Yeah, I know, I know. I know, I know. Listen to me.

The fridge weird. Said he's gonna make me a stop. So I was like, yeah, keep on doing it. Do he get the couch? His company. The French guy gets the deals and he's like, I think this would be good for you. So it's not like they want you

and we're taking 10% of it, they're gonna pay you. They're just, he's just saying, there's this money for you and you have no much, no idea how much money he's keeping. Right, now yeah, it's a little awkward because we're like friends. Just putting the money. Yeah. Hang on. Yeah, it's a little awkward cuz we're like fresh Put in the money Hang on one second. That was a Louis

I don't know how much hard day hard care. There's still haven't inquired how much money they're taking I wanted to flip over this table That's what you're the incredible Jew What this is What's the You're the incredible Jew You're making me wonder about numbers This is him walking down the street at the end of the Amiga Well, right in over a shoulder. Protecting him. So they give you heat picks what you get?

They, they brands come to them. They say we want to work with Vine. Or they go to brands and say, you should, you actually work with Vine. And then they'll say, all right, we like the platform. Now what? Then they'll say, here's our list of Vine stars. And then theoretically the brands look at look at all our pages and stuff but I think someone's got to be I think

like the more popular you are the more deals you're going to get and I think they're probably to say like this guy is popular and he never swears and he's always are you a clean vine comic no like I'm pretty risque yeah but you but you clean are you a clean vine comic? No, I got I'm pretty risque. Yeah, but you but you clean You're the bill very innocent. You're the bill Hicks of on Real man, he's he has some characters, but you keep it clean your characters have that crazy No, you let's go through your characters. You have the girl. What's your name? Kathy Kathy and then you have Alex Alex and you don't do you know do that. Oh, you don't do

you have Alex Alex and you know to you know to that you don't do high society what a what a you know to him anymore you also do I can't think of anything for it don't your beer party anymore got that guy I stopped doing that because a bunch of fucking eleven year old started falling me but I've been kind of waiting for like a beer brand deal like yeah that'd be a good one yeah and you know to you do Jay Z though a lot. Yeah, all right, so close black eyes closure eyes Black eyes close your eyes close them. Should I try to now? Now ready do it ready check this out ready. Please see I should too. Hey, yo, what's up? You see boys Sean card. I'm rubbing your thigh right clear

Sorry, I'm sorry That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Thanks. I would love it if one of you black guys went with check this out. Oh. Okay, try one. No, no, no, I'm pretty good. I'm not going to have vine works.

Oh, I have six seconds. It's Malik tonight. Malik, hello. No. Oh. Yes. Yeah, what's up, it's Jay's issue boy. I'm rubbing your thigh right now. I'm sorry. Not only was it not as good, you actually did the same exact thing.

Yeah, I wanted to put it next to it. He's got a comparator. I got a fair contrast. I thought I was just rubbing it. I got a little bit of a cast over here. Give me the head nod. I thought it was. What you got? I like that. That's not what I'm doing. I'm not going to argue with fucking. Yes. Thank you. I thought it was. I like that so much. I like that so much. I like that so much. I like that so much.

I like that so much. I like that so much. I like that so much. I like that so much. I like that so much. I like that so much. I like that so much. I like that so much.

I like that so much. I like that so much. I like that so much. I like that so much. I like that so much. I like that so much. I like that so much. I like that so much.

I like that so much. I like that so much. I like that so much. I like that so much. I like that so much. I like that so much. I like that so much it was. Got to commit. You pulled up. Yeah, I pulled up eight. You got to go all the way up. Hey, man, they're very, very committed. So do you have kids come to your shows? Oh, man. Yeah, I haven't really promoted a lot

because I'm still, I don't want to oversaturate my vine feed with, hey, come check me out. And also, I want to get better at stand up and build more time. And also blah, blah, blah. I have a show coming up where it's sure I'm going to be trying to sell out. But I've had, what do you mean?

I've had like three actual vine shows. One of them sold out. The other one almost did. This is at 3 PM on a Saturday in Hollywood improv. Oh, right. So it's like kind of a not ideal time, but my next show was that Sunday. Well, if you kind of a not ideal time. But my next show was that Sunday. Well, if you run a flea market today, if you're selling antique furniture in a parking lot,

that'd be because that's where those clothes down. You can ride over to farm grade vegetables. I do. And I just made this goat cheese from that goat. We're going to come more stands. We're going to have something. So but here's the thing too, is that there's a bunch of you guys, like name some other famous vinyners. There's Nicholas McGalis. Okay, that's what I haven't seen him. You know what?

He's been vining. I stopped following him. You did? I did. Why? You unfollowed him? I like Nick a lot. Number one, he didn't follow me.

Oh. I'm going to didn't follow me. Oh. They're not gonna hit you. I'll hit him. Well, here's the thing is that he didn't follow me. Rudy? Yeah. I still follow, but I'm on the verge, but he's really good. Yeah, he's really good.

He doesn't, you know, he never followed me back either. But I almost accepted because he's really good. He does some really funny shit. And he's a very talented musician too. He's really good. He does some really funny shit. And he's a very talented musician too. He's no joke. And then you know, did follow me back is, who I love is what's her name? Sonny Mayberry.

You know why she followed you? Because of you. Because I told her, because I noticed I looked at your recent likes. And you haven't liked one of my vines in quite a while, but you're liking a bunch of hers. Oh, welcome to Inside the Viner Studio. We're going to get all the insider information.

I did a vine with her and I was like, you know who I think has a crush on you? Right. Well, Sunny Mayberry, I do have a crush on her, but I have a crush on her. I have a crush on her. Vines, she's so funny. Fucking funny and so unique. She's first of all she's Smokingly hot. She's no offense. I mean I would definitely follow black chick, too guys

I have you don't follow any black people He just got really nervous He just got really nervous Tell me up Blogs, all the way is Jerome a black agent no Jerome can you be black French, right? Yeah, that's like Yeah I would be very happy to get you All right, let me ask you a question.

How much are you going to take here, Jerome? I will not take a lot. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I will only take what you allow me to take. Hang on, I, well, how much is it going to take? I mean, I work very hard. I will not take it. Okay, that's great.

But how much money did I make on that last four deal? Oh, I don't know. I don't go to Brooklyn. Where did you get that new Ford Fiesta you're driving? I need your leave. Wow, it's sitting me. You know what's important? French advocates really talk like that.

Yeah, I know. Well, I was a parent. A guy came up to me at the Apple Tower. Like, do you know what Latin Avenue? Yeah. I was like, yeah, it's Brooklyn. He's like, I know a brother there. That would be smiling at me.

I mean, African, yeah. I don't know how to get anybody else there. They're just like us. Yeah, African's move other places. So, Sunny Mayberry is phenomenally gorgeous, but just stupid funny. By the way, like, she is a goofball like a silly Kelly's gonna replay this episode and shut her eyes and be like

He played again. Hey Bobby. What do you think of my comedy? Super funny Hey, Bobby, what do you think of my comedy? Smoking hot. It's super funny. Yeah. He wants. Yeah. He's ready. Man, do you know how famous you should be on Vine? I don't have it.

I'd run the light. I'm the biggest-ended premise. So, yeah, she wanna follow me, which I was very excited about. But I like a lot of herself, but I don't know. I stop light. It's not that I she wanna follow me, which I was very excited about but I like a lot of herself But I don't I stop like it's not that I stop liking her stuff too I just stop because I look down right and you have 70 million likes no honestly got probably 87,000 likes and I don't I don't have there's no way you need my like I do

No, that's the I you know one counts. This is a thing in comedy that's a real thing. You think no matter how many times people say good job, you want the people you respect to say good job. That's right. It's like why I was bummed. That's right. When I did Conan in here from a list and I was like, what?

And then I talked to Lissy, he's like, oh, fuck, I thought I texted you. And I was like, you were the one who wanted to hear from. Nobody actually said it to me because, yeah, I'm really mad at Lissy. He didn't call me and I didn't, I didn't either. I go, I'm sorry, at Lissy didn't call me and I didn't I didn't either I go I'm sorry. I didn't he was like I don't get fuck about you I cared about you two years ago

Now I do you I do you dumb podcast to help you out In front of his girl too, I just did this girl and I was like do I said I didn't tell you You said you got real serious you come on my house the sun setting on my fucking my Chinese maple tree I mean literally just coming through like a Tarantino movie You said yeah, I'm really pissed at Joe. He didn't call me about my now. I was well, I didn't either man. I'm so sorry. I know you I said thank you. Thank you Yeah, basically you said thank you, but then you you really said I don't give a Fuckin I'm talking about Joe list. I care more about him. No, I asked you if he was mad at me That's what I here's what you need to know that I didn't call you. Yes, I did

Which I'm here. Now I'm the first time I did Conan you didn't call me in that hurt So I was expecting it, but you didn't fucking talk about it on a podcast because I'm not corporate Dan anymore The chains have been broken I'm independent there. It's not whining about that little mouth fucking. I was from Boston. I was comparing it to it when ride I mean you know that all you guys knew that I was thinking about Joe Lich. Jefferoy, right? Right? No, Joe.

All you knew mouth, yeah. But I was comparing it. I was comparing it to Rhy saying that you don't like his Vine videos. I do like his Vine videos. I am a num... First of all, I'm the first one to support you, Rhyme. That's right. I am the first person to go out of my way and go,

I had him on my show when he was 20,000. I used to know nobody. When you would, don't get me. When you were fucking running around Boston and the snow doing shit in the shadows. Oh. Oh. What the fuck?

What the fuck? Look at him, off you as a teacher, there. When you were doing seven second jokes What the fuck? What kind of mafia speech is this? When you were doing seven second jokes to strangers on this sex, God damn it. You're building Dan, you're building. You're building, you're building. You're building, you're building. When you're doing 20 second jokes.

So you know that I am behind you. And you've gone on another podcast and said it's their favorite part. More than one. Well, like I was saying before. Oh, you're really hooring've gone on another podcast and said it's their favorite part more than one Well, like I was saying before you really horny it up on the podcast I'm finding now no one does a podcast like you baby I mean not that you have to go on other podcast go as you let you know Why do you do is my I mean? I don't think I've said

This is my favorite podcast you have I have about this but on Berks I don't think I said per my favorite this is my yeah, the dream came true. Oh, well, yes is my favorite monom I'm getting one I think it was The you the favorite Bobby replayed it the Kelly the way Kelly's gonna replay that part Bobby Ritz Gritz Bobby replayed it the Kelly the way Kelly's gonna replay that part I Just fucking I imagine he says I'd belt around his thigh that he keeps tightening every time he replays

I have a vlog Think of what I think a vlog stick no I think a vlog stick? No, because I don't fucking regularly talk about vlogging. Yeah. Three-nodeurs. So, so yeah, I really, but I will like your stuff. I do like all your stuff.

I love sunny, maybe, but I've stopped following a couple people because it was getting too much. It was like, oh, I was checking my phone. And they didn't do, they some of the people stopped doing this stuff, but I do like Jerome still. I he's he's funny I love Rudy is funny you're funny sonny is fucking my talk there's a couple of the girls too that I fall and in Matthew's money chance she's I think I did this who's the girl you did that with the she sings and she talks like a black girl once in a while she's not brown brown hair. How the brothers feel about that?

I don't know, I've been in here. You did one with her. She's from LA, I think. She has these white girl beautiful brown eyes. She does a, wow, it's kind of offensive that you don't have. What does she do? Wait a minute, what does she do? She does a, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.

That's my black girl. I'm like, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. No, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, That's the black girl that does the black voice. What voice is that? It's probably man and rathies. Man and Matthews look the same. It might be her, yeah, it might be her. But I, you know, I did, oh shit. Okay, we have to stop the show. I just got a call from Ford. Ah.

Yeah. This is Robert Kelly. You promised that you're gonna leave all the chicks with dicks off your podcast. We're looking for a podcast that's as tough as an F-150. That's got as much torque. Yeah, we want a podcast that can take a steel mountain up another mountain. Those commercials are the fucking dumbest.

Yeah, he does. All right, so let's go to my vine account. Let's see who pops up. Okay, orange, chinly. Oh, there's one guy that I follow. He's a white guy. And he, Oh, he's in a white.

No, but he does these following Bailey J, who is just amazing on this. Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's a dude. That's actually a Ford. What's the problem with her? Ford real, real, real, real. She wouldn't be able to land. She's got a it. We'll have a problem with her She wouldn't be able to live she's got it. Yeah, she's she's she's on the Bailey J show She's so awesome. Oh, yeah, she came to my this guy right yet this guy his name is Brian Silva

What if he just did the most expensive minstrel blackface? We go shh shh shh shh shh shh shh Listen ready? I'm gonna go to your door. Kna' ta ta. Oh god. I'm gonna go bitch nigga. Hang on.

Put the mag to your door. Kna' ta ta. Now you're gone bitch nigga. This is white dude. That's a white dude. Oh god. His whole thing. His whole wall.

It's Brian Silver. I follow him. He's out of his mind, here's another one. Be fucking bitch RC like rata swag bitch. Oh, that's his name. Rata. He shoots a gun, that's him. That's him.

That's his thing. He does it drive by and every video he goes, Rata, rata. That guy's rata, and he learned how to write rhatata is gratata, gratata, that's doing a drive mark. Here's another one. No, no. No, no.

He's becoming, hang on, hang on, hang on. rhatata, rhatata. A pull up that she go, rhatata bitch. Is that his voice for starting a lawn mower I'll do the hedges after Swag I will say I will say the way he says nigga is very very authentic. I do like that. I will appreciate that I'm from an old school. Were we like a nice ER at the end?

I don't know. Maybe it's just different. This whole time I'm like I really get into this viny thing. It's such a great artistic outlet. And you play that shit. I'm like no, I'm not missing out on anything. By the way, that sounds like Justin Bieber's in her monologue All right check it out that sunny Mayberry right there. How pretty me. Oh boy. Wait, we're sorry manda what I say she was the star in Species three You can see your boom. Can we pull our boobs? Space lit up just

I know my species, I know my species for a year. What's Rudy's name, Manacuso? Manacuso. Manacuso. He used to do ones with his mom that made me laugh. I'm not sure. And mom, me mother, he walk up and say stuff to her, but she'd be sleeping and then just slapping the face.

Rudy! Rudy, she's screaming at the end. Yeah, he's, uh, here's some more. What? On the whole world. To all of you, I'm a bad son. I just want to let you know, she's my favorite person on the whole world.

That was a bad one. Yeah, that's a bad one. That was a sweet one. But here is, I will sassos back. Yeah, that was a good one. Making fun of him. Do you, do you follow? What's that? I just want to know, do you follow? What's that?

I just wanted to know, do you follow any black viners? Is it, I thought the biggest viner is that black dude in LA, right? The one King Batch. Or viner. King Batch, yeah. King Batch, you don't want to do the seven, or the one here's, here's RISE later on.

Yeah, it's not, that's kind of hacky. 99 problems and the bitch makes more things for him to have. Hey, yo stop hitting your butt. 99. That's great. hacky smockers uh... that that that that's very that's a

very top very you when that's the that she had beyond she had

yes was actually more like uh... what am i going to do I gotta get a bad now I did it Kind of too early like no one knows like my I don't think my fans knew about it yet So I should have waited I know I should have waited they would have known but then I would have

Was it just K.O. I wanted to prove like y'all I'm on top of this shit But it would have been chaos like stop the press everybody we're gonna be your own line Yeah that's what it is It's got a wire Oh good god man He has a pager. I follow I follow I found Sonny's tits. I gotta. Oh, let me see let me see first. I should be the first one to see though It's in species three. I had to go to daily motion to get it. I'm just getting the video up

All right, listen here's the deal. I follow another guy that's really funny woodsie Yeah, it looks like Louis CK's like stupid brother almost he is Fucking hilarious. He's great, but I don't I did follow a black guy. Okay, I did I didn't. Who's that? Who's that? Bobbi, who's the Jackie Robinson of your Vine feed? Who wrote the color barrier? It's called UFC.

Oh. I, um, yeah, all right, here you go. Right here, here's a black guy. Follow. See? I got, I got, here's a black guy right in. Oh, here's a black guy. I'm not racist I follow black guy You followed every guy that coached my little league I was good by the side like a guy outside of Nick Stadium

Oh you followed my friend Johnny's father. Oh, good. I'm gonna, I need to follow. All right, now what black guy should I follow, right? Ooh, well none of them have funny. Oh. Oh. I love you.

Who's the Michael Cheyabon? Who's the Michael Cheyabon? That dude Batch is funny. Yeah, King Batch is funny. I don't know. The one you did when you walked out of the dude's car, who are you with? That dude batch is funny. Yeah, King Batch is funny. The one you did when you walked out of the dude's car, who were you with? You were with a, where you were like,

another dick move is to leave your first door. That was one of the funniest things I've seen. That really genuinely made me laugh to the boy where I was like, I gotta do this to somebody. He had a vine where he was like, you wanna know dick move when your friend drops you off, just leave his car door open, and then it showed him walk away with the door,

and the dude was like, oh, fuck you, man. And like door open, and then it showed him a walk away with the door. And the dude was like, oh, fuck you, man. And like, we didn't know, bro, it was a lot of fun. That's one of my favorite things to do in the world. Yeah. It's one of my favorite, if you know what happened, I've been doing that for years. Norton does it too.

We've all done it. Just leave, we get out of the car, and just walk out. It's fucking awful. They're so annoying. It's one of the worst things you can ever do. But I like another one when you said, another dick thing to do your friend,

just through a couple of water in his face, and one fuck you, wanna go to a movie? What? What? Yeah. Oh, this is funny. So anyways, yeah, I will follow a black guy today. I will follow in honor of-

It's a good thing if every person, in honor of my two new friends. Thank you. We appreciate that. We will bring in a movie brand it in Malik. Brand it in Malik. Whatever it takes. Tell us in the presence of N. double ACP. Did you get it?

Yeah, it's a bad thing to say. Give it to me. Just give me the titties. It's from Species 3, dude. I'll let you borrow the DVD. Bro. Damn, take over for a second. Would this be fine? Welcome back. Species. I'll let you borrow the DVD Dan take over for a sec Would this be vine welcome back?

Precies three was like the late 90s wasn't it? 2000 she went from like a movie to vine is that bad? I mean that's what everyone is killing right now I'm excited. Are there a lot of actors that like are fair and like grabbing it vine like stand up sometimes for comics It feels like actors come to do stand up because I got people like people need to like me Is that what they're doing vine there's a lot of actors who have tried to be successful on You gotta give me off air. I want you to give me names of shitty actors that do Vines because I love hey

I love hate online I love hating like I'm gonna find that dude that did the the lawn mower the Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, yeah, he's a real he's a of course he is. Yeah, sure. He's the vine guy. He has the little crocodile on the lizard It sounds like we're making things up He has the funniest one with Paris Hilton. We're like hey y'all I'm here with Paris Hilton He was a piece of shit goddamn cunt and like it's Paris Hilton's in next room and he just shits on him It's so great. Oh, it's a fine. It's great We're talking corporate nice right do Huh, I look yeah, I'm really fucking They're fake did not real baby. Come on man

Matter of the fake or nothing still titties. I said to them over nowhere. All right Rubbing your junk for the last 10 minutes I said I was just about to make a joke. She has a boyfriend. What's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, has a boyfriend. What's the, what's, she lives with a boyfriend. I was like, oh yeah, I thought it was real. And her boyfriend. Boyfriend, I think is Ethan Embrie. He was like, you know, he was like, you know, he was like, he's an embrie. You took my friend. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

The guy from Karelian, yeah, exactly. I'm trying to record, tell the way. Oh, wow, yeah, yeah. Just that adorable face for the guys. What? Whoa, whoa, whoa. I was looking for him now, it's 2014. You can't imagine everything he's done.

I still don't know this guy. I was waiting for like a Tyler Perry movie. So I can just be like, oh, I know from that. But he's not anything. Nothing. Can you not be racist against yourself? I'm trying not to. But the Malik thing.

The Malik thing. It makes me uncomfortable. I'm sorry. Bobby's going to write a blog about it. Yeah. Then he brought up like he only had a had a guest on my podcast and he was offensive The typical troll bait blog would be like Geigas on podcast what happens next is epic

Fuck all of you. Giant of boat fire. Let's see if the chatroom has anything in it. Yeah, I'm really sad the titties aren't being passed around. Yeah, I don't care. I really am. Bobby promised me titties. I wrote punch up on the movie. Kings Dream is alive and well on the YKWD. King?

Yeah, Martin Luther King. He was a famous American. American. For the civil rights. You know this Empire records do, but you don't know my little... I'm trying not to. I believe he's referred in your country as an uppity abo. I had to quit. I had to quit Vine.

The wife didn't like how easy it was to watch porn a porn Oh graphicky on it. Well, you can watch porn. I was opposed to the internet. No, no, but like what kind of porn is on that? I think Dan's the second point. Dan Soda just committed a hate crime. What? I don't know. Being hilarious? I was like,

I think it's the word. Is that beating up hilarity? Did I curb stomp hilarity? That would, Abba. Wait, there's porn on Vine? Yeah, like, yes. Yes, absolutely. Scopo might as well have just wheeled himself from under a car,

if he said that. I was like, Yeah, he cooperated with his good. There's porn on Vine? Is it good? Is it good? Is it good? By the way, your brain. Did you hear they shut down the driver?

Yeah. Yeah, I was gonna go see Greece too this week and with the kids and the wife. Don't take the upper level. They're doing concrete work. We bring, we put the kids in the trucks and we don't have to pay for them and I make my own popcorn.

Yeah. Porn on Vine, I only got six seconds. You don't have enough time to come. Yeah, but it loops and loops. Yeah. If you get a good one, I would have. Get the detail. It's like a, like a, like a gift, but it's like lots.

Someone just made it live. Oh, that's hot, man. All right. And Louise back in the room. All right, listen to me. We're going to take a break real quick, do some speaking of ads. We're going to do some ads.

Well, we're going to let everybody know right now really quickly. We're going to rock around the room and tell people where you're gonna be because I wanna start doing this in the middle, as well as the end so that, you know, the one thing we want you guys on the show to do is support us live, our live events, where we do make our cash and is what we do.

So let's go to Brandon. What do you got Brandon coming up? Yeah, Mike and I are doing a showcase in Stanley, Stanley York Labs. Saturday, May 31st. Is it in the dark? No, not gonna be a... There's scorpions on the floor. No, that we've been playing on.

Is there, is there, and one of the seats is an electrocuted and if you laugh too loud, you die. Okay, so it's just a comedy show? Yeah, it's just gonna be a show. All right, okay, so then, Saturday, June 28th, it's gonna be my birthday show for comedy outliers. Okay, great, yeah. All right, and what do you got?

So what do you got, Rydoon? My next show is June 4th at the Shaskin Pub in Manchester, New Hampshire. Oh, that's a fun show. Yeah, yeah, it is. Anyway. Don't match up, I think. No, it is. Anyway, don't mention. I think then, uh,

uh, I have my like premiere, Rydune only Vine Show at a Lively Live then Sunday afternoon, 3 p.m. Oh boy. At, uh, in July 13th. Sunday. Hang on one second.

Real quick. We get a, uh, hang on one second. It we get a hang on one second Shit fuck sorry it was it was so I'm very important Well, we see if you need it I pocket value I keep going right July 13th levity live I'm uh Yeah, could be doing a vine show. Well not a vine show. I'm just doing stand up as my character Kathy and then as myself Gonna have some other comedians there. So you're like yana's pop is basically

What do you got? What do you got Maliki Mike? Oh? Yeah, you know I'm gonna be doing stand-up at the community sending Harlem I'm gonna be at a bar mitz for something you come to comedy outliers show Talk about that a little bit let people know okay. Oh, yeah comedy outliers It's a monthly show that we do everywhere the last one we had a website hold last three times we had it Then so much fun. Yeah, it's just a great show man downtown to monthly show that we do everywhere the last one we had a website hold last three times we had it uh... then so much fun yeah it it's just a great show man downtown it's it's free we might be charging soon for it but check it out com the outlies dot com

it's on time on the york let me check it let me clock one second let me you're on my podcast live oh my god this is the this is the This is the world famous, one of the motherfucking originals, one of the gods of comedy, Lenny Clark. What's going on, Lenny? Hey, Bob, I'm gonna make that. That's a big mistake. I'm just gonna tell you, you will find a guy

I can say, like it's where I am. You swear, you say whatever you want. You are great on Louis, my I'm gonna ask over to back back Jesus you know I used to do that myself I just like that back I know I know I I have I have done man I've been fantastic you know I've lost 45 pounds since that mess Well you know the last time I saw you you would lost weight yeah Now you know you've got the new show with Dennis and you're the drummer right

well well you we don't have it well I don't know if it's got you know you never know with that stuff you know it but it we shot it it was amazing I think I want to be in business with him you're going to be great so you're going to go I look at you I have another show and that he's producing that i hope the dog that got that i need to get my geeks that that's one of the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that which is on USA Network, which I think is one of the, I mean, I'm not pulling smoke in your ass, Lenny. You were great on it. You look great and the show was fucking amazing.

You know, Robbie, it's a funny set because it's the first thing that I've ever been in, why look at myself and say, hey, I like how I look. You know, that was a big sped-up. I mean, I used to do movies and TV and I say, why don't you, if you think the world's like, I wouldn't wear that to like shit I mean yeah, yeah, I was stuck back of course horrible. How much yeah, you look great. How much have you lost?

Wow That's incredible. That's a fucking person. Yeah That's literally that's literally two movie stars. What's the range here? You want your jokes? I was almost 400 times. I was out of control. I was doing pull.

I was just going to take it out. I was like like for sure. I was doing fine and have a job. I mean, I was very very... As we just start putting the Coke in the sub is a condiment. That's what you fucking do. Oh, Lenny, you are the best, my friend. Well, I just wanted to call you. Where have I seen you and something, I just

know, I thought you would make that top show that was what was that? Steven Sturberg show? The 22, the 22 with the Nero. Yeah, the Nero. I mean, you're going to show what the Nero's involved in things. You're a brother, and you're a good man.

And then it's gone. I mean, you know what, we all can't think you have to lose you. No, no. Is he still a man for nine years? And then it's gone. I mean, yeah, you know, we all can't finish your pollution. No, no, yeah, he's still around for nine years. That's so weird, but nine years, though. Fucking nine years, yeah. That's fucking crazy. Oh, I like, listen, fuck me, all I want is a show

to run the syndication. And I'll go away. I'm gonna go out and hide everyone's hair. I'll go back to be fine. I'll be a mile of red or hot, there's a ring. I'll go back to pick that up. You're gonna follow a friend, don't mock this, drink it, don't let the sugar get. Yeah. Well, I-

I'm gonna create a die. I think the sirens is gonna get picked up. They're stupid if they don't pick it up, because they just lost psych, which is a very similar show, just a little less edgy. And I think, especially at the end of the season, the show's got funnier and funnier and funnier and the last episode was the season finale was hilarious so I think it's gonna get picked up.

I hope you're doing success. Well I hope so for both of us and we're both we're both losing weight which is great so we'll be around. That's right. I'm gonna stick around just for the spite of people. That's all. We should start doing coke again though. Hey Bobby yeah, I love you buddy. I'll talk to you later One of the truly nicest guys in this business Lenny clock And also one of my favorite documentaries about standup when standups stood out unfuckable You're talking about a hammer an original fucking beast We're talking a beast on stage these Lenny

Swini Gavin these guys you could not fucking follow them you could not kill when I I I see guys do great I see these specials and Doing good has become the fucking The curve in comedy. Just do good. Killing is these guys used to fucking kill from the second they got up there

to the second they got the fuck off. I'm talking on rock stars of this fucking, of what we do, stand up comedy. On a Wednesday, not on a just stand up comedy yeah on a Wednesday not on just Fridays and sat on a Tuesday they would come in on a Tuesday at nicks and fucking pop the roof off the fucking place and he's one of those guys you just fucking kill that's where that's we're talking about where Patrice me burr dain how do the that's how these guys that's how we became because that's what you're talking about where Patrice, me, Burr, Dane, that's how we came,

because that's what we saw. These fucking just beasts going on stage. And he is one of the nicest guys in the world, but also will not take shit from anybody. He's beat up comics, well known comedians. He's fucking just beat, I mean, I'm sure he feels bad about it now. Literally, you know what I mean?

He won't take shit from anybody. And his brother Mike is a sweetheart too, but anytime I've been on TV, he's always called me up out of nowhere and just said, you are great. What a fucking nice guy. It doesn't have to do that. And he's on a hit show,

which was on USA Network, produced by Apostle, Jim CERPICO, and Leary. These guys just fucking put great TV on and it's edgy funny about ambulance workers. It's on USA and hopefully they're smart. They pick it up because he's one of the these plays the dad on it I was watching Monday Night Raw in your promo played Where I had the coke bottle stuck in my ass. Great. That was great. I was like watching wrestling.

I'm like, it's Bobby. Yeah. You got something shoved of his butt. I was like, all right, it's pretty legit. On what, on sirens that happen? Yeah, on the movie. On the TV show, man. On the TV show.

It's happening in real life, too. I think it doesn't get stuck, though. It just keeps falling out. He didn't know how about there. Yeah, it won't stay. That's the problem I have. It won't stay. But it's a fucking, it's a two-liter. It just won't stop.'s a that's a problem I have. Yeah, it won't stay But it's a it's a fucking it's a two-liter it's a

Bobby's a size queen Real pattern the great of real fast. I wanted to say we're going international someone signed in from Scandinavia I'm actually going to Scandinavia I'm I'm actually going to scan it up. Where are you going? I'm not even telling you. I'm just saying, fuckin' telling you. Have you ever the same agent? You'll step on that like a-

Well, Bobby's going to scan the- I got it. I want it. I'm the fucking New York of the fucking territory. As- As- As- Louis G. J. Gomez called you, the new God will- Just to be honest with you uh

rich boss bobby did the old guard we're the new guard no you're not you're not even a new anything i would say that i would say louie i would say joe you're not even with them we're gonna have someone with security shirts gomas the new guard you just, you just got into the party on someone else's clock guard. You can, this fucking idiot, new, just be honest. Truth be told, we're the new guard.

Who's we? You don't have a class. Your class surpasses you. And it's fucking on television. You have an MMA podcast for free, and then you do another MMA thing for nothing, and then you middle for me, okay? I'm not gonna do that.

I'm happy listening. I'm happy. Kelly, fuck you, you've got. Stop fucking, all right? Be on the money. All right, listen. I wanted to see it go. We circle.

I love him. We call. No, you don't. We call. We called. He was on Ron and Fesha today promoting his in the dark comedy show. Oh, that's hilarious.

He's free show. Me and Rich Vos called up and lit it. Just we were telling people not to go. Oh, that's so funny. We were people not to go. Who is that don't go? I said you should go stand out front and handle flashlights. Just to ruin it. What is he promoting? I go, I go, you're such an idiot.

You're such a dumb promoter. You have a show of comics when you're headlining on a Wednesday that you're getting paid for that you should get people to go to because then you come back Because they're making money. You're promoting a free show in the dark. So nobody's gonna know who you are I mean, how do you even know if you had a heckler could it be a ghost? Oh, I listened I listened to that show You only get to give him that you're gonna realize to realize how bad you guys really are because they're going to be-

That's all right. You're looking at all right in you. You're not going to get to look at fucking Mike Vecchio's dumb haircut and be entranced by what? Why does he look like that? That man will be fine in that show. Vecchio's Lewis, I don't know if you can flip your hat in the dark and it's very, very hard.

His clothes there is a visual. I don't know if you guys, but look at me. I look like, you know what I can't see. Let me get my burner phone on. I know this is supposed to be completely in the dark, but I have to turn a lamp on real quick. Just for this joke. Just looking me up in the door.

I'm gonna stand in the doorway. Everybody turn around. You guys see when I did that? That was was the joke all right here we go so we got a comedy outliers which is amazing you guys asked me to do it I really wanted to yeah but I got a little I get a little I do so many shows on I usually I work the seller and I work four or five shows on the weekend and I don't like to leave because it gives me anxiety how How close is it? It's, uh, we're gonna be downtown. So, uh, wait, um, so no more Webster Hall. No, no, so it didn't go well. Well, it didn't, yeah, they, yeah, why don't you fuck them out of good time? So we're

gonna be, we're gonna be, uh, we're still working out with the venue, but it's gonna be Saturday June 28th my birthday show. So I'd love if you can make it. June 20th, I might be able to come down. I will try to work that out. But I really, I love that you guys are putting the show together. So check it out. What do you got?

Real quick. Last week, I'll be at the May 18th. I'll be at the Kennedy Center. I know that quick. Slow down. Panicking. I don't know. Do you have to go back to waiting tables?

I don't want to go back to waiting tables. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Cap City last week of June, I'll be there. 25th through the 28th of June. Louis, what do you got, buddy? How? Some people are munching July. I don't know how Monday.

All right, listen, don't be a fucking pain in my ass. Come on out Monday, relax. All right, so you just missed over the weekend when I was on the comedy underground, but hopefully you can watch it. No, we're live right now. Oh, we're live right now. So here's a deal. So here's a deal.

So here's a deal. The people listening live right now, this Saturday night, me, Louis, and... Luna. Luna are on the David Tells comedy underground, which is on at one o'clock AM. Yes. It is uncensored.

It is an unbelievable show. On Comedy Central, one AM, and me and Louise, we're going to be promoting the fuck out of it. I'm going to promote you, me and you this weekend. Awesome. We'll be doing it on the board. Make sure you tune in, support this show. I did mediocre.

I did all right. I didn't like my set that much. Really? I love where you set. It was only an 8-minute set, but it was weird because I just, it it was good I don't know but I don't know how they're gonna edit it So I'm just I'm taking myself out of the fucking check it out who gives shit I'm sure it looks amazing Louis fucking annihilate oh thanks man. Yeah, I was real happy with it

But it is what was crazy about it did be it was an eight to ten minutes says they told us do that long They cut it down like four or five. Yeah, so who knows what's here's coming on TV Here's a deal. This is how you know you did, you did do bad. When you say you did bad and the other guy on the show, just stares at you blankly. And then when you compliment him, he goes, oh, thanks man. Anyway.

But I did my set and then I'm gonna sit in, there was, first of all, there was nowhere to be down there and second of all, I was just relaxed. I mean, dude, you know what I'm gonna stress it was? I went on, there was like, I was supposed to go on, there was 45 to minutes to an hour of technical difficulties and then i finally got to go on stage so i wasn't trying to hang out afterwards i was trying to relax and have a fucking drink so i didn't see it so i i honestly don't know

does this is like does dav edit the show to uh... he had it some of it but you know it's still commy central uh... you know they you know i don't know how many decisions are his i love that episode and bob every episode and Bobby probably am honest, so yeah It looks beautiful like some film it's like well, I guess what guys guess who's filming a special there June 17 Oh, who's filming this? Oh, that's great. I'm filming my special over at village on the ground which my dream and Bob cat gold weight is directing it And Jim Cereico from Apostle is producing it.

There you go. So I am fucking very excited. Yeah. That's great. That's going to be awesome. Take it to what we're going on to say all soon. It's two shows, 200 seats to show, if not less. So if you're a fan of mine and you want to come see it,

make sure that you keep your eyes and ears down to the ground. So when I tweet it in Facebook or whatever, you guys will know. Kelly, what do you got? Hi, mate. You can just go to my website, kellyfussuego.com. And don't forget to follow the podcast,

Facebook and Twitter, ykwdpodcast.com. Is it my shoulders? Can you, no, can you, can you get kellyfussueco.desensuck.com and make that your website? I'm really? Yeah, just to...

Lewis J. Gomez sucks. No, let's not do that. I don't want anybody sucking. Can we just be nice to each other on this fucking show? This business is hard enough. We don't need to rip each other down. Okay? This business sucks.

I'm sorry, I have a taste for blood. Rick and Bobcat will get mad at me if I like, you know, and did. Yes, if you want. My heart keeps a beat beat that's where I oh my god please catty i'm telling you what's gonna skip right over your head this microphone if you don't shut up

scope on what do you got uh... july second i'll be with Lewis uh... commerce at foxwoods so check that out so you're the one promoting that i also got uh... i got a honda with a busted ax i don't have a ready by Tuesday

yeah but uh... you know i told the lady uh... you know she friend of family hey i don't have it ready by Tuesday. Yeah, but I told the lady, you know, she's friend of family. Hey, I know what everyone's friend of family. Kelly and Kelly today has to show a tip to one of us in the room. No. Yes. The box is over. I called on it. Listen.

I'm still waiting for the species three to eat. We have four boxes of chocolate. Four fans said fucking very Sherries Berries. Set the boxes. Sherries, Berries. I'm Sherries. Sherries Berries, they said four boxes. So Kelly, you're going to have one titty for one second to somebody in this room.

We didn't make a diet specific. I'm making the fucking day today. You can't make the rules that guys are going along. Look, my titty's, my rules. No. That's it. Listen, that's it. That's it.

That's me. We'll talk about it at the break. I'm going to go, I'm going to read some, what do you got? I got. Oh yeah, me. June 5th, 6th, 7th and 8thth you're at off the hook comedy club in Marco Island So if you down the floor to down the neighborhood where the fuck you are on the east Gulf post of wherever the fuck I'm gonna be at off the hook make sure you sell it out. Let's let's at least

Friday fucking night there for a month also The 12 13th and 14th with the punchline and San Francisco Yeah, I'm a fuck up. Finally. And June 17th, special night comedy seller, Bobby special, go check it out. There's two shows that night, right? Yeah, two shows. We're doing two shows.

So we're filming the specials. So I want a couple. So I want your girl and you know, guys, you know, you see means five, six times Jersey New York Connecticut ball I get you tickets now What when they as soon as they come up like plan it June 17th? I want you guys to fill this place I want my fans you guys know I have people see me five or six times you guys know we're gonna be the guys like eight nine time I want you to I want you to I want you to be part of this. I want you to be in the crowd I want you to be recorded in this. I want you to be in the crowd. I want you to be recorded in this special. I'm very excited about it and I'm excited about the

people involved. So as more information comes out, I'll make you aware. But we're gonna go to break right now. We're gonna pay some bills, right? Maybe we'll have rye read some of the stuff. He's fucking great at this stuff and then uh and we'll be back in five fucking minutes okay so uh let me get the high technical sign that we have. I tried doing the tickle. Well you I fucked the tape up so there you go so back and five. All right check it out we're gonna do some live read we get a new sponsor this month we I'm very excited about because they spice things up right Kelly that's right at when Eve dot com fellows or right for you are you looking to spice things up in the bedroom sure yeah you've been fast night if you've been fantasizing about surprising a

lover with an adventurous new toy or adult movie, yes. Well, here's an offer you won't be able to resist. Could you resist? No. Do you use toys, right? Corporate corporate. I use toys.

He does. Okay, go to adamaneeve.com. And for a limited time only, you'll get 50% off just about any item that's 50% of almost any item But that's not all oh no when you select one item at a 50% off you'll also receive three free adult DVDs That's three one two three and they're free like is in no money adult DVDs for a little inspiration Plus a free extra gift so sensual we can't mention it on the radio and I will tell you now that Robert that I Did this and I felt like I got more than I paid for really I got like seven things in the mail. It was great Awesome. This is actually a great deal

I mean Adam and Eve first of all It's it's it's when you I believe in toys. I believe if you're a relationship You should actually have some toys for your wife. I always thought I was weirded out about it, but it's a beautiful, you can get a nice little, whatever, whatever you want, as far as sexual toys, and you get a free gift, which is really cool.

I'm not gonna tell you what it is, but it's great, cool. And you get these movies, and it's free. They're free shipping, correct? Mm-hmm. Free shipping, yeah, free shipping as well. And you got these movies and it's free. They're free shipping, correct? Mm-hmm. Free shipping, yeah, free shipping as well. And then also when I checked out, there was a few other options of things to get as well. So free extra gifts, so essentially we can't mention it.

So top it all off, they do, yeah, free shipping. I'm sorry, I repeated that. So check out Adam and Eve.com today for the special offer. Get 50% off one item when you type in dude. So that's D-U-D-E dude for the offer code upon checkout. When you do it, you get the free free DVDs, free extra gift, free shipping. Just use the offer code dude, d-u-d-e at Adam and Eve.com. We were just showing Kelly's boobs during the video. So that will inspire you guys to uh...

to go so and uh... is that it right uh... and the rest for right and this is uh... fyi this is right doon hello this is right doon that's right the king of the internet king of well not the internet but vine and uh... other a couple of things kidding

to point fucking 17 million people. What do you guys? This is Rydun, and I wanna tell you about Amazon.com. God damn it. Oh, actually, I probably can't say God damn it. I wouldn't. All right. Holds reddering.

And guys, this is Rydun here. I wanna talk to you about Amazon.com. If you're gonna buy something online, why not look at Amazon.com. It's a great way to help support RyeCast and the YKWD podcast. Bam! And if you do, please go to, if you do, you should have been a common there.

If you do, please go to RyeCast.com slash Robert Kelly and click the Amazon button before you shop. If you go to the YKWD, RyeCast.com, click on my podcast. It brings you to the page. You can see it, there's an Amazon little image there, click on that before you buy anything on the internet, because Amazon has it all,

and it's usually the cheapest you can get it on the internet, and it has usually two day shipping, it comes right to your door, but if you use our link, you're gonna be helping us, helping you and helping them. That's right. YKWD, we'll get a kickback, small percentage, every time you do that.

So a small percentage. It's very small. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I actually bought this bottle of water with my last month's. Oh, what? All right, $99 a month. Yeah.

So yeah, there's no cost to, y Amazon has the great pricing options, como Bobby was just saying. So again, thanks for supporting the show. Go to ricast.com, slash Robert Kelly, y click the Amazon button before you. Shop, door! Hey, dude, do you play video games? ¿Qué pasa con un paso. En Sanitas fuimos los primeros en ofrecerte video consulta con tu médico de siempre. Comprogramas especializados. Otro paso, cuida tu mente. Y otro, ficio digital.

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What's up, buddy? What is what? Yeah, I do. You guys listen and live real quick. Let me get that camera off of that fucking gorgeous little young man and put it on me. This this coming Tuesday, not today next Tuesday, live from the village underground myself and Fistuka and Scopo will be running and producing the my wife hates me second live podcast with special guest marriage counselor Jim Norton. Jim Norton. So make sure you take us now. I tell you it's 175 seats. We have to cut it down 180 seats because of

we put the stage out bigger. So if you want tickets, you want to be there live to see this. Last show was amazing. Last show sold out. We had this question. We sold out. Like a week before. So get them now. So if you're listening to this on the download, it's tomorrow night. So go to ComedySeller.com and grab the ticket online. Show I start at 7.30. It's gonna be great. It's fun. This is the worst about you guys.

Kelly, I got the start. I'm acting when you were pedaling with the bus. This is what fucking makes me angry. Is that we've been doing this for how long? And I fucking, if you see me having a handle, I can carry the fucking show. That's my charm that I kind of flicker out. You know that lala. That was my bet that I kind of feel like you're out. Like, you know that.

It throws my bet originally. Yeah. That was kind of my bet. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So, I just do it because I don't have an attention span. But you broke everything right, dude. You're a vine celebrity.

You're coming here to your third favorite podcast. Distorts crashing the minute. You better call that French cock sucker and get some money out of the account. We know, listen, we know you're the in sync of Vine. You could end up JC Chasse. That's the most interesting thing. Make sure that doesn't explode everywhere. Yeah, just be careful.

Behind the Vine. I know how to live. Right, dude, was that the last one? I don't know how to handle carburetor drinks. Yeah, no, how about the one you just shook up though? Let's go all over my fucking electronics and you're gonna go, I like birds better anyways. Birds don't fall everywhere.

The gym. Bert uses a zoom. Actually, I spilled a bunch of Oreos at Bert's podcast. You know what? Bobby, one thing Bert did for me that. Oh! Where's the bandana? Where's the fuck bandana? Where's the fucking bandana? My man said it's by his name. You don't find it's by me.

Give me that fucking bandana. I can't even tell it's him. Throw that out now, the other one. The one you stepped on. Get him a bimbo. We've been bitches, podcasts. The one you stand on Bami a real big bitch ass podcast Christchurch has all the things Yeah, Oreo cookie is he just in me. What? Oh, all right I'm sure to saw that Put it on Kelly's tits Bob I got that Nissan on the lift

I'm looking for a bad I don't know like I said he's gonna be a by four Nothing would be done, you know, right. What were you saying one thing you know that's got birth podcasts? I was in the middle of trying to tell joke gone now Right, this is your problem you're too slow. You're gonna speed it up on the show You think you're getting interrupted? Yeah, that's what happens. Six seconds. You've been on the show like in nine times.

This is an NPR. Yeah. Alright, let's slow it down for Ryan. I will be... Bobby, if I could, I'll let me get back to Ryan Dune's joke. Okay. Here we are with Vine's celebrity, Ryan Dune. He has a joke about Bert Crusher's podcast.

Yes, as I was saying, I was on Bert's podcast. And, uh, which is downloadable on the internet. Correct. Yes, BertCast.com. Um, right, can I ask, if you're not happy with this right now, you can just double or just start again. Like, you guys are still interrupting them. Now you just whispering them directly.

No, no, no, no. What a much ask. Yeah, that's the joke That was No key No key decks I was gonna say a bird said to me like you need a you a manger dude The best right you be burnt for the rest of the show? Yeah, yeah, right Just I you should know are you doing like that sound like you're doing a stereotypical Japanese girl Think is in for name-a-mouth

Anyways, Bert said you didn't manage your dude. I said how do I get one? He then he called up his fucking manager in Boos' manager. A levity? Called the management team. He said, check out Rodun. It's a waiter at levity lot. I don't think Bert really called his real manager. I think he called the guy that worked at levity lot.

He called the guy in the back. I think I got a double tomorrow, but I could probably look at your day. Okay, go some stuff. I'm gonna take 75%. Whatever that French guy takes. I would like to take all of your money. I'm gonna ask questions. I would like to buy a house back in Zambia.

I feel like someone wants to say that voice is racist, but I think it's my favorite. It's so funny Fucking dumb PC culture we live in if I'm doing an African voice that's racist I'm doing it. I'll pick it up. He's doing it better than I could Fuck them. I can't I can't wait to we see him on CNN going I just want to apologize MTV Viacom and Han. I just want to apologize. I apologize. I apologize. What about MTV, Viacom, and Heineken? I just want to say I didn't realize I was being so sensitive. I'm a drug addict. I would be going to rehab.

I would like to apologize to Newport cigarettes. Your taste is delicious and refreshing. And white people people oh girls uh... fuck black guys you smoke those cigarettes i think we just be honest new parts if it wasn't for black people would be done it'd be done

and then the latest would be off the uh... wrong why white people smoke salons yeah because of the witches is uh... harnigan is that a Yeah, because of the witches. Is heineken?

Is that a black beer? That's a black beer. That's a black beer. Yeah, we took that. I was trying to get the head of sea. That's all black guys drink. Heineken is that. First of all, it's not the black.

It's a celebratory black beer. When they have something big, something big. It's true. Danny, all right? You call that theiquiddle beer. Oh, you're not a bop. Now that's what he said. He's never done that.

That's what I wanted to prove that I could go there. There's gonna be a half pull about that one. And Hynacant's a goddamit that's genius. How do we do it without being so racist? Hynacant. She's quiddling here. Yeah, you never see a black barbecue with them just having fun against it's always a commercial where they just won something really big. It's their champagne. I didn't deal. I got my masters. I had a high-income

kid my partner. I was gonna throw masters in there Look at that such that in by the way that's such old-school Barrow racism What masters better than me Last time I checked next time you need you carburetorate to fix What's a bring it watch bring your masters in the seat? He literally I think he said two things to his whole podcast and that hit him right in his gut like his father used to. You get an education now. You got to bring the masters into it. Oh yeah. And so you got to get another degree on top of a degree.

You know, he had a racist joke right after that about masters. Then he held back. I'll say in the word, faggot. Oh, now I fucking should have had one though. Wow. So you have your masters? Yeah. That is surprising. Not because you're black, because you're the way you dress. You dress like Janine Garafalo.

Laterious. Oh, great. Oh, very much. He's doing a Oh, she's just home patting her cats Good What are you what did you get your man? What did you get your matches in my guy in school counseling school counseling? Yeah, what the fuck is that dude? I can get that job just getting out of july I was in july. I know what these fucking bricks like What school counseling it was a bad decision. I agree

It was so what did you want to be when you grew up? It was a bad decision. I agree. It was a... So what did you want to be when you grew up? It would be a film director. Really? But then I went to school and... What killed that? Coming to New York? Really? Are you still gonna direct? I don't know. I mean, I'm trying to write a lot of scripts and trying to get some stuff going on. Now when you script, can I ask you this honestly?

And I'm not being racist or I use scripts. I do write scripts for black, from your black perspective. Like black scripts, like, you know, or do you write scripts for black, from your black perspective, like black scripts, like, you know, or do you write scripts for anybody? Is it like, you know, the guy, like, you know, they just funny scripts with all your friends in it, or is it just a black, a movie? A black experience, just like a general story.

And Malik is dying. His name is Mike! My name is Mike! My name is Mike! My name! My, if you want to be called Mike. My name is, this My name is John. My name. My, if you want to be called Mike. My name is, is your government name. This is Mike.

Brrr. I listen to Mike Brown. You know Mike Brown. Who? That's an old school Mike Jones reference. So here's, here's it. So I mean, no, seriously, I was just wondering. So what are your movies about?

What are you right about? I have a one script that's about like this student teacher Yeah, it's a fucking mom of his kid of what students. I like it. We'll stop talking to the mart getting elite that my She just the mom trying to do poetry with the kids trying to stop trying to read The mom an eating disorder? No. And the mom won't have an eye and keep eating for Australia. Does the mom have a problem eating just one pringle? No. Oh, you know me so well.

Oh, you know me so well. How about we call it meats and cheeses? Oh, my God. Can we eat tartar of the movie? Like that. Oh, I'm just throwing some my diesel there, that's all. I'm spitballing the bat! Todd, I'm gonna stop.

Todd out of a butcher. She's a hero of Raina's movie. She makes around me. She's a bulldozer. She says, boy, the moment it's cold kid. Jesus Oh man, you're fine. Shit, shit, shit. We're going to the Oscars with this. Derek got, please make a movie poster for that. I just have to say this is one of the funny shows

in a long fucking time. Thanks man. I am the one. That's because you brought in powerhouse by celebrity, you're right here. We're running on diesel. I'm thinking of something. Instead of fucking Lewis Gomez's stolen gas.

Yeah, that's it. Lewis Gomez is siphoned gas. Dude, I got it out of an SUV on the way here. You know what's weird? The first minute, it really tastes bad. But then you got to just pretend it's like a really high-proof whiskey. What?

There's two people going, fucking Louis is awesome. Louis forever, cutting themselves. If you're a go-mite, if you're a go-mite, I have you, I have you, I have you. My favorite name ever. Well go-mite? It's great. It does bug me that I really, it's catchy.

It's so good. I hope they all get hit in the bus accident. I hope they're all going to see Lewis. I definitely they definitely are taking the bus. Yeah that's why I said I was gonna say car but Lewis doesn't have one why would they. These are Lewis fans. Yeah go my fans. No no, no. He has eight fans that listen to the show. And they're all taking a bull bus. One guy I blocked yesterday, we went on Ron and Fez me and Voss to smash his dark in the dark show. Yeah, what's up?

Listen, here's a deal. We, you just had us call up Ron and Fez. We, Ron is one of the funniest guys. The best, I mean. One of the funniest guys on the planet Earth, he literally just, all he kept saying was, in the middle of. The best, I mean. One of the funniest guys on the planet Earth, he literally just, all he kept saying was, in the middle of a smashing him, in his dumb night vision show, whatever the fuck, right?

Yeah. He kept going, so you guys, so you're not really into this, is what you're saying, exactly. I don't know, are you backing in? Are you gonna go? Are you talking? He is one of the most brilliant fucking comedians around. Hey, so fucking funny.

Ron from Ron of Fez is a genius. But what I like is I like that you and Voss, it's like in wrestling sometimes they bring heroes back in a storyline like you just basically hit the stone cold Steve Austin music when you and Voss called up. It's like, oh, Bobby Kelly's here! That son of a bitch is here! And Lewis is like, wow, we're gonna be in the trouble.

Oh, that's crazy. And then we got smash. He's like, all right, I don't care who those are like, spaying the music, I'm not gonna get so scared. He flips his hat. But there's a deal. We're calling up because we give a shit about him, and we like him, and We literally probably sold more tickets

I was we won with you can't sell tickets. I was a free show Christmas comes in with the show we're helping him where was smashing him out of bad ideas I just don't on the show before I came here. And I was Louis on the show today. She was on the show yesterday. He was so funny. I'm like, that doesn't sound like Louis. Oh, wait! Bobby Kelly.

I'm sorry. That's what he said. He goes, dude, I'm not promoting my other show because it's too far down. I'm going, you're not coming back on this show. That's good. I go, you think you're coming back? You basically, what you did was, which

in the hip hop world, you put out a diss track to get him fucking. Yeah, circular. Of course, we of course, we want. I'm fucking helps. So one of his fans was like, you're, that was really shitty to you to fucking tell people like, uh, uh, dick move, it kept hashtagging and dick just passive aggressive shit so i just i go i'm gonna be less passive aggressive go fuck yourself hashtag go fuck yourself and then i block them good fucking idiot go might go fucking

go fucking go might here's the thing i understand if he is a go might a true go might he would listen to the show and know where it's coming out of real-ass dude you don't even go by the fucking go my laws. You step over the line. I don't know where the line is. What is this?

It's behind me. Behind me. God, I love it. I fucking love it. Yeah, Lewis really does say that. Lewis is living his life like it's a Brian Bosworth movie. I think it's a shitty early 90s action. This is what we're going to suck is that when he does it know the way the,

because there is a, let me tell you something. There's a line. There is a fucking really big fat line. Oh yeah. And it's bright and it has lights on it. And in this business, if you fucking step over the line, you don't get to come back over the line. You go way to the back of the end of the line forever

So I'm trying to keep telling him dummy you got fucking 14 fans, okay? Listen just please learn the line. There is a fucking line because you don't he will fucking say whatever And I just want him to fucking do well Everybody know even Stern know when Stern does a read, he does it properly. Yeah. He, they know, they, this, sir, I want to do their reads properly. They, no matter who they're trash. I just don't want you to fucking, I want them to succeed, but this idiot doesn't get it that we called up because we give this shit. Yeah. Yeah. We don't, you see me calling with Louis today? Did I call up? I mean, Jesus, that's pretty, well, they

got a monoron of theft promote. They didn't call me to fucking promote fucking tell I mean, Jesus, that's pretty. Well, they got him on a fest promo. They didn't call me to fucking promote fucking tell show. I think it was because you're wonderful appearance yesterday. I'm kidding. Yeah, no, so yeah, of course, you go see this dark show. Would you ever perform on that show on a show like this? He wanted me Thursday nights.

You're giving me acid reflux. Hey, Bobby, before I was on the show as a big fan of it and I kind of had a, I had, no, I'm not a fan of it. Let me just say this. I did one of the sweetest guys in the world. Cannot say the worst thing. He's just taking fucking shoving his foot in his mouth. Where he's like, I used to download it Any is just buckle

He goes bird real quick if I could An impression of you, but I don't think you like it. You don't really do it anymore But I was always pick up on the sternum shows. My impression of you back then was... Ffff. Ffff. Ffff. Ffff. Ffff. Ffff.

Ffff. Ffff. Ffff. Ffff. Ffff. Ffff. Ffff. Ffff.

Ffff. Ffff. Ffff. Ffff. Ffff. Ffff. Ffff. Ffff. Ffff. Ffff. That's my fat guy thing. That was like sitting in the kitchen when I think maybe right when you were smoking too. Like right when you quit smoking you used to do that all the time.

Oh I miss smoking. So do I. Yeah it's somebody. Hey guys, it's a guy for one. Somebody wrote the Oreo. The Oreo situation on the couch looks so awkward and uncomfortable for Ryan. Now, then, uh, newsy to go, go mites. Corporate Dan, I want to marry Kelly Fistuka. Yay.

It'll be a divorce dad. We like five kids. It's fine. No, he's pretty, he's a pretty big guy. I like Fatsluff. For God, hammer fisting. I just did Gamefly Good for you. I'd rather see Scopus butt stash.

I think Kelly's Jesus. Let's get to this real quick. I want to deal with this right the fuck now. I think Joe List wants to be here. Joe List wants to see the titty. Kelly, who I want to know and I'm not joking because I don't lie to my fans and I don't fucking I'm serious you agreed to this So there's that's fuck you. I'm not lying to my fans. I'm not having people

I'm not having people send they spend their fucking hard on money on my sponsors and and send you chocolates and then you fucking reneg on them. That's not the way it works. I didn't say anything Yeah, I think it was renegade a little bit That's not the way it works. I didn't say anything yet. I think it was re-naked. Get a little bit too close to it. Oh, nice. Boom.

I think that's why it was innocent. That's not a line. I'm not trying to clone back black people. I know. Oh, that's good. By the way, this couch situation has got a whole lot more awkward. We're not all that. Bobby.

I was a pain. I was a pain. I was a pain. I was a pain. I was a pain. Bobby, is that the line? I think it's called the Oreo cookie show. All right, let's go anyway Robert what the side of tea That's how I would describe

Kelly and her fucking gentle hygienist hits I would describe Louis as a cup of tea Listen, let's act T In her fucking gentle hygienist hits I would describe Louis as a cup of tea Listen, what's up? Oh, he love Another another fucking Little puzzle in the fucking the Louis cat saga. He loves he only loves black He's good with chicks he picks up chicks is really good bullshit so you're so impossible i'm

okay i thought he was about the black women stuff and now that was actually a good one so go ahead Robert we weren't days specific but one of the conditions i do have to have is that most people that come in this room have girlfriends they have to call that girl first to make sure they're okay with it. I think that's a good because if she showed the tits to me my wife would just go so I know she's not you're not going to pick me. My girlfriend broke up with me so I can hardly look. Break out with your black chick. So can we do it? Jesus, she's a huge dick. Yeah, it is an owner. Kelly, what the fuck, he didn't Yeah There's no me black people hang on one second, but if you're gonna buy black girl go

And use it why KWD link There's a black kick back. I don't know You do that search my you know, and I mean it if fuck the race, I'm not racist. It's okay. Okay. Well, that's not true. That's not mean that escalation. That's what it's like. That's what it's like. That doesn't mean it.

Racism will be decided. It should be like a black guy to see. Listen. Listen. I want to be attracted to black guys, but I just, I'm not. What is that? Wait, stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop.

That's racist. Great Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, please. That is Kelly Kelly Kelly do that on your own fucking girl podcast I don't need this I don't need the heat. I want to get in the control man She almost just Jimmy the Greek your podcast Every one of you Black people is got different phones in their body Will the more black you give her a backhand right now? You know what it is?

Because I didn't like sleazy guys and they were all sleazy. What? What? Oh my khakis. Wow. I think we were khakis. What are you talking about? He has a master.

I have a master. I have a master. I have not even a good master. It's not even that I can get pussy masters. It's to help children. What a fuck. I don't get queer. even that I can get pussy masters. It's to help children. What a F***ing queer Rob I do get pussy I Relaxed I help kids yeah, yeah, yeah, that's all

Shit yeah, that's really I always when girls panties get wet it's because you help children Oh my god You teach it in a day space by the way days Fucking believe She really said that I do you what did you do you just sent back people It's not I always This is worse than this girl in shit. Yeah, this is worse than a sterile in shit. No. This is worse than sterile. This is almost on point.

This is really. If you own the book, you just said black guys are sleazy. I thought you just said you'd find them a track. Tell me that you actually got all the book. You can't generalize. That's like me saying all women are fucking dumb cunts. Wait a minute, let me free-fac- All women are unfunny dumb cunts. Let me say it again and get away with it. All women are fucking dumb cunts. Wait a minute, let me free-fac- All women are unfunny dumb cunts.

Let me say it again and get away with it. All women are on- That's like me saying all women are unfunny dumb cunts. I don't think I've ever been- Anybody else want to say it one time? Legally? Legally? Where nobody can figure out-

I know I'm throwing it out there that I'm independent. Dan, but I just hit the corporate shoot. I'm fucking sliding down to a nice fur glove. Yeah, Kelly Jesus Christ, that's what they say in a community said in the middle of Iowa when they're eating rice crispy tree all black guys are very sleazy That's what I find can't I think I just like in another thing that's the reason we're more or less gonna college in Austin before we get to the hot to the hot dog boy That is what I say black men are sleazy.

Should I say, I should have said some black guys are sleazy. Yes, yes, yes. Okay, black guys. She's a black guy's a loud, okay, so sit down. Well, I'd rather be loud and sleazy too. Yeah, listen, Kelly, that is so black guys are sleazy. Are you making that t-shirt? Dude, please. You know you should do a thing that says black dude sleaze instead of steaze, black

dude sleaze. Can you give him that bandana please? I got bread. I want to say that. I want to say that. He's not in because he's scared. I will say this if there were more black people here, he wouldn't have the bandana because that was very accurate

It was very funny. What is it? Thank you You know what? It's no funny when he deconstructed the What would you have to I mean look if we weren't here that your comment would have probably just flew by like nobody care no I would have thought we would all laugh to you right you're right Yeah exactly probably just flew by like nobody care. No, I would have thought we would all laugh when you're right. You're right. Yeah, that is true. That is true. Black people are

sleazy. No, I would have thought they would have gone like this. You're right. Lewis would have went, go mind sorry. Black people are pleasing. Don't am I in the dark show because now you can't tell the black people there It's called the dark show Right now you we need to settle this when are you gonna do it and what we I want you can't you can't you can't not not do this is that a better one she's a show to a black guy now I'll tag you in a line why don't you do it to vine you know I mean I'm right I'm gonna go for

you don't have a girlfriend right do you yeah I'm kidding I'm trying to be in a monogamous relationship with all those vine pussy get lost in it 12 year old I'm fine no no it's just a regular chick from Boston I did him to be in a monogamous relationship with all his vine pussy Is it a girl you met a fine no no just a regular chick from Boston no, she's free vine so you know It's from a hamshare. Oh really what pop man Chesta fucking seebrook dude the power plant fucking dude I used to go there and go no no noob. What my fucking hand painted sign back in the day. I used to look I swear to god sweet would mac in it up there Fuck yeah fucking hand-painted sign back in the day. I used to look, yeah, I swear to God, I flew in, I'm mac than it up there. Oh, fuck you. A sea book, they have the nuclear power plant.

Anyways, Kelly, you know what? I was on the verge. Yeah, I will. When I first met you, when I first saw you, you shocked his dick. I told you the song. I was fine. I would have been off. What? I was fine. I was fine. What if I had gotten the heavens for that? I told you. Mike, you're fucking good. Let me, let me, let me.

You know me, Mike. No, you. No, you. Hey, Mike, you. Not you. Not you, Gordon. Hey. I miss the masses, don't be.

I call them Gordon. Gordon. When I first met Kelly, man, I remember seeing you. It was at an open mic. I thought you was funny. I was like damn she all right, right? And then you just you could still catch her in an open I don't lose it. They said Kelly only eats the Oreo filling Yeah, what up girl Kelly so you're the first time you met her.

Oh, also the first time I met her, I met you at an open mic and you perform and I was like, damn, you know, damn she look, you know, she look at it, right? And then you did this joke about hemorrhoids. Oh, yeah. Aino Fisher. Yeah.

Lost all of it. Yeah. But it wasn't because you were a white girl, because of the hemorrhoids. Okay. But still, because I'm looking at you, I was like, I still would pursue if I wanted to pursue. So what you said right there, cut me deep to the cool.

This is Bayes, Philip Show. What are you talking about? I'm trying to get a tittie. I'm trying to get a tittie. I'm just trying to get a tittie. I'm trying to get a tittie. I'm trying to get a tittie. I'm trying to get a tittie.

I'm trying to get a tittie. I'm trying to get a tittie. I'm trying to get a tittie. I'm trying to get a tittie. I'm trying to get a tittie. I'm trying to get a tittie. I'm trying to get a tittie. I'm trying to get a tittie. I'm trying to get a tittie. I'm trying to get a tittie. I'm trying to get a tittie. I'm trying to get a tittie. I'm trying to get a tittie. I'm trying to get a tittie. I'm trying to get a tittie. Because you You know has been upset

You're back to Malik. I'm taking Mike away I'm Malik again and I'm Gordon We get to Mona he gets blacker he gets whiter Well, I'm looking we're gonna do a whole podcast on video games. You're coming back You are coming back I'm bringing you Let's if hand you love video games all right. Yeah, okay 64 bits and a stick right as he gets as he drinks more beer He's just gonna smash it and cut my throat I'm black enough for you motherfucker if he was militant by the end of this

I would love it if he's like oh yeah, oh yeah Chris was gonna mess the He is not even a secret racist. He's just a racist. Oh yeah, you got to bring in your fucking masters. I should get that. I should get that. I get barbed. Dude, I get pussy with my fucking hair, kid. All right, my personality, my dance moves, and my fucking hair. I didn't even get it. You're going to get education. You got to help kids.

No, it's funny. I don't know why chicks fucking love me. What's they do? Because you have the same ass. We can go, we can go ash on it. You want to borrow your pants? No, no. That's because of the hair. Actually, it looks exactly like them.

It's the hair man. Really, black girls like it because they have, they love hair because they don't have it. They have a afro. No, the women, black women love, for some reason they love straight hair. They love, they love hair. They love hair. They love hair. Really, women, black women love, for some reason, they love straight hair, they love Japanese. They love my hair. They love hair. Really, it's a thing.

I love your hair. I love afros, I love a fucking straight up. There's nothing sexier than me than a black chick with an afro. I don't like the weaves, I really don't like it. It freaks me out, I don't like all the stuff that goes in to put it in and it's. It's smell weird and you can't pull on them

It can't eat smell Louis back in the race the community Yeah, I was I kept feeding you the information you needed to speak up. They they smell I don't know they smell weird Pull on him I They smell I don't know they smell weird I Some of them baby some I love an afro sexy sexy. Yeah, Linda downstairs. It goes back to a natural throw Awesome I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. But it was back off the point Kelly when I say you do it today to Louis cats

He doesn't have a girlfriend. I was actually about to say I would you do it today to Louis cats he doesn't have a girlfriend I was actually about to say I would I could probably do it to Louis but I got terrible X-ma on my chest in the mind you don't have to show one he's got drinks babies milk and back black chicks I go to X-ma it's gonna be my favorite I'm not that I can pair with that too but I'm just I'm sorry I can't remember it's not like he's he likes all kinds of different things is what I'm saying I'm embarrassed but I think Kelly does it I'm trying to get a date you fucking Kelly you turn we're getting the back of you right here in front of the riot cast banner

Okay, you turn or Louis you face us Kelly you face him you pull out one kitty for one second I'm gonna go ready one two three you pull pull, you show, we get his face and that's it. Dude, I love it. And it's over. How old-timey Hollywood producer you're gonna say. Why are you gonna show your breasts? You gotta have the right guess logo in it though. We need to cross promote.

We need synergy. Kelly, what you titty? I feel like I'm on fame. You're gonna make me suck my thumb. All right, here we go. Ready? Do it like, do it like, do it like, do it three shots. So everybody's face All right, here we go. Ready? Do it like that. Do a three shot, so everybody's face.

I need it. I have a phone on. Kelly, we gotta do it right now. I don't need a phone. Let's stand it off with. It's all with right now. All right, now you've grossed everybody out with your ex-muffet.

We have a shitty visual, so no one's gonna be in this. Louis, stand up over there. Let me fix him. I go in the other room and fix him, Kelly. Is that neat? Kelly, Louis, stand up right facing us in front of the arm All right, let me get Louis. No, I don't block the art. We need the logo move over to you left I'm happy to be dead after this now you know you never show me those titties from now Kelly move the chair out

Louis this Louis has the energy like he's about to get tased Like I Louis you're gonna feel a jerk in your chest. It's you not having a heart attack you might piss your pants Any of my young teenage girl vine fans are watching this. I'm sorry What what's that I can't hate you Kelly what? Cut above what I got to go up a button I Tidabove I got to go up above and just like living ping because I can't with the thing I'm wearing

You can pull it you can scoop it out All right, go ahead let him peek it. No, no peeking. All right, but you face. I had face that Oh shit hang on somebody's who is this? Totally have respect for you what you every yeah, he's a little more respect for you. All right here we go All right, wait Kelly wait wait wait wait wait wait wait you got one two three I do it. I'm the fucking charge. I am the scissor of this film. She already Kelly Yeah, I need no stops. I gotta put you over there because I gotta I don't want to get your tiddy I'm gonna ignore it face I wait Kelly? You want to like this you want three? I want it on the three. I want everybody's reaction to this.

Okay? Now Louis, alright now when I go one two three now there was four boxes set. So you better do a full second. Okay, so you're gonna go one two three. You're gonna go one two three. You're gonna go one two three. You're gonna go one two three. You're gonna go one two three.

You're gonna go one two three. You're gonna go one two three. You're gonna go one two three. You're gonna go one two three. You're gonna go one two three. You're gonna go one two three. everybody's reaction to this. Okay? Now, Louis, all right now. When I go one, two, three, now there was four boxes set. So you better do a full second. Kelly, don't fucking re-nig. No offense. I read.

Louis. All right, here we go. On three, then you pull out. Louis, get ready. Dan, all right, ready, Kelly? Let's go. One, two, three. Dan, all right ready Kelly let's go hold the breath one two three I was back all the fans for sending in the Sherry's berries and how was it Lou? I was a great. This is the greatest podcast ever been on man. How big is it both how was it?

It was cool man I was like it was kind of dark in there, you know, and for a while I couldn't tell what I was seeing But then I realized it was and I was into it What do you mean? I know it was in the second head. I couldn't well You're your your are your are yours are very light, you know really fuck. I want to see them I haven't seen a pink nipple in a long time and it's odd to see a light Hard to see where they were so she there's no there's no defined circle I'm used to it I'm this is

I'm talking to the microphone used to a dark nipple and I was like yeah, yeah, what am I? All right relax Yeah, yeah, what am I? All right, relax, Gordon. It wasn't much a distinction between the Ariola and the Regga, rest of the titties I love that's one of my favorite things in the world. I that's one I love that that in tan lines. Yeah, like a nice Rubin sandwich.

What's that? I said, I like a nice Rubin sandwich. So was the Nipple big? Yeah, it was a good size Ariola, good size Nipple. How big was a Nipple like a light switch? Yes, really so as big as a light switch, I would say so was it like folded over a little bit like from being in the brine and that's much pressure Just the top of the titty was you know, I mean, I don't feel like I really got a full feeling for how the titty would lie I was you know I mean I don't feel like I really got a full feeling for how the TV would lie right no she's that I was that was that was fun you know Louis in Australia when you show you lift it we get married now what she

trips she got she's a stress you got the whole college got frightened with that with Paul Louis that was true how great would that be if Louis's life was just ruined? Just home with a fatter Kelly, what she was cooking. Hey, Lilo. You want, you want, should be your pasta. You better not be watching Black Girls on TV. That's easy.

I still like my pink nipples. Oh, that's great. So they were nice, huh? Would you would you would you like suck on those studies? The truth is I didn't tell us the truth because I couldn't see she was lifting them up and out and you can't I Just can't get a good grasp on the quality of a teddy from up and out and you can't I just can't get a good grasp on the quality of a titty from up and out. Absolutely. How they hang. You're the cool fucking Jewish guy complaining. No, that's a titty out now. I know. I know. You see your car in the in the Drain Ship. Do you understand how long it would take for unhinge that bra? And it was we'd have to have fucking ride in and scope a help or put it back on.

Be like help us. Let's go. Zoom. Did you see her wrench clicking? Yeah. Let's go. Let's go. Oh, no. This is probably going to take me all that. I can only. I need a cigarette break.

This is terrible. I can only let him see down into it. I can't undo this. Honestly, you have to, and I'm not, this is not the deal. But you can't even, I mean, it would look like a nice titty. But until you are really familiar with the titty but you can't even I mean it would look like a nice titty But it's until you are really familiar with the titty you can't really pass judgment. I you trying to see your titties again Something are you setting up that's the sound I don't feel them. How am I gonna know how nice? I'm not saying it's part of the deal. I'm just saying a jet like this is like more titties around it's like

Some titties look really nice, and then they kind of get them, and they just kind of, they like, does it like like, like souffle titties? It just deflates almost. souffle titties. Yeah. That's the name of the episode.

souffle titties. And then sometimes they're, you know, you never know, you never really never know until it's, you're like, I gotta get a nice titslap. I like Kelly, I like Kelly only, I can't name it this because it won't be an idea. A black guy eyes all sleazy

From Kelly for still got But I think I Kelly only likes the the middle of the Orioles They're just squishy demons out on lunch. I love look at me. I love it. I love a droopy titty I love a tan line titty. I like a big titty. I like mushy regular titties I really do look I've always liked that I do I like tan lines to me Tann lines are very sexy On the ass even when they're naked, they're still kind of wearing something. So it's like I know No, you're not supposed to see you feel like you're a superhero

I'm seeing a part that you're not supposed to see. You feel like you're a superhero? Yeah, man. It's a power thing. I have extra vision, and my dick is a sword. I'm not a junk, but I like it. I really do. I love, I love, I like a nice droop to a tit. I like a fat, I used to hate big nipples.

I dated a girl one time. We had a long time ago when I was first out in comedy and my uncle's built this, it was like the first week this house was up in the Hampshire. And I drove all the way up from Boston, it was an hour and a half up to the white mountains and I took this girl up there and we were fooling around and she said,

I have weird nipples. I go, I don't care. You're gonna be a little creeped out. You're gonna be a little creeped out. You're gonna be a little creeped out. You're gonna be a little creeped out. You're gonna be a little creeped out. You're gonna be a little creeped out.

You're gonna be a little creeped out. You're gonna be a little creeped out. You're gonna be a little creeped out. You're gonna be a little creeped out. You're gonna be a little creeped out. You're gonna be a little creeped out. You're gonna be a little creeped out. You're gonna be a little creeped out. You're gonna be a little creeped out. You're gonna be a little creeped out. You're gonna be a little creeped out. Who's that Adam Zappelman from down? She's sort of telling you some stuff. Yeah. You got it.

She's going, you got it. She's going. Yeah. So she goes, I have really big, I have really large nipples. And in my head, I thought round, yeah, that's what I thought, round-ish, but they were long. Oh, yeah. She meant long. They were very long and they were, like, they were in a bra and they kind of bent over and like and

and filled up like a like a like a balloon. There's a hole. There's a comic in Oakland. He said it would look like a gorilla fingers kind of like. I wish I ever remember his name. Was he talking about a black girl girls titties? I mean I mean a black dude talking about titties You have to keep us in check fucking Gordon Lightfoot I'm okay Stay black How long with the nipples they were probably that When she you know when a girl says you might be freaked out that's

You're probably gonna be freaked out. I suck on them. I fuck it. And here's the thing, of course I suck on them. Did it weird you out? Cause you fell like your suck in a little tiny dick. And you're like, why would that weird, why would that weird me? Did it feel like a baby dick?

Jesus Christ. Hey, you got a hot out. I got a hot out. Hot out. Hot out. Listen, Dan, first of all, don't, give me that hot out. I'm not I'm not a racing that from the You panted my mean blowing a baby is not coming off. I'm not I'm sorry about sucking nipples So, um, uh, so is that was it? I thought that was it was that you?

That's me. Ah, that was awesome. Did I do it? I don't do that. You didn't do it. I thought that was all of him. I was like, I am. Look at this is a wrap.

Yeah, they were, they were, um, but I got into him. And then later I met a girl with them again. And I was like I was like and they literally when she took a titties out of the bra They would unfur the nipples would unfold like like balloons like and they Would they would we stick out all the time with a droop? No, they would when they would stick out Wow, oh crazy. I liked it. I imagine it's like a floppy dog ear. You know what she's when she gets sad, do they flock down like a whale? Like an orca? Yeah, she's the fucking psychologically fucked up whale.

It's like, yeah, it's like free willy. Let's switch topic. Let's talk about whales. Do you guys feel like? Fuck whales. Guys, see world, fuck whales. See world, definitely not. Rhydune takes a stance. I know, fuck whales.

That was the beginning of the movie. That was the beginning of the movie. Kelly took offense to that. I'm sorry. That was mean. Well, you know, I'm fat too, so I can say it. I was speaking to that Louis show last night. First of all, this season, he really is just making

many movies every week. I mean, they are, you know, you watch, I love Modern Family. It's probably the funniest show on TV. It's just funny, funny, funny, funny. Just non-stop, funny, fucking. It's just hilarious. funny funny. Yeah, just non-stop funny fucking. It's just hilarious What's that? Crochet. Oh, though. Crochet is great. What is it amazing? I'm an inside Amy guy. Well, let's talk about that. It's incredible. Let's talk about that

These shows are funny funny funny, but but my point is is Louis show is fucking Funny, but interesting like these little moments, we're like, what, I've thought that, I've been there in my own brain, and I would never express that comedically, and this guy actually found a way to do this whole fat girl thing. Yeah, that was really fun. You know, even the stuff we did, the bang bang,

which, you know, I've done that. I've used food as a celebratory thing. Have you ever done Indian food in diner right back to back? Who the fuck is that? That was, that was, but that even that choice, he wrote that choice. That's just stupid to come up with those skills. And we actually had to do that. We had to, yeah, we fucking ate $700 worth of Chinese food.

I mean, Indian food. We, and it was all what? We heat the heat. He, Louis said, Louis just went, listen, it was awful. Louis said, just bring out everything. And they took out all this amazing food.

And we fucking chow. That's awesome. And it was at my fattest. And when we shot that, I was at three bills. So very shortly after, I think after that week is when I started doing sugar no grains. Because I went to my wife and I was like, I don't feel right.

And I think I'm gonna die. I think that's not something we would. I was done after that. Because I remember even in the show, you can see it, I had a fat walk. I was, it was, it was, it was, it was, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were Because my hands with these little thin regular person hands next to this just fucking fat balloon Yeah, and my back in my ass and I was while I was fatter than Louis CK Which he he was my barometer for a long time like in business like in this business

I was like well as long as he's bald and fat so I have a chance. I can still make it I was fatter than him and I didn't know it I didn't know I was fat. I thought it was the same size as Louis. I wasn't you didn't you didn't take into consideration that you were walking like a Midget that might be something my God when we turned around and we started walking I was like I have a fat one my wife my wife went oh like oh I was a bitch what? What the fuck oh what I'm excited to see it. I got a DVR Louis show is fantastic. I'm so excited that the people that I know Amy

David tell and Louis. Yeah, they're actually putting shows on TV that I really really Funny I love when my funny is back on. And the Louis show is just fucking amazing. And Carl shows great. There's a lot of really fucking good shows on TV right now. I haven't seen this show. Carl shows really funny. The editors are incredible.

The way they edit that show together and then they do the back of house stuff, is they fucking unbelievable. No, Carl is the guy. It's like Bobby Bottle Service. Bobby Bottle Service. Yeah, characters and stuff. If you haven't seen this show, he won't, Crow is the guy. Crow is the Crow. It's like Bobby Bottle Service. Bobby Bottle Service. You guys love the character. Yeah, characters and stuff.

If you ever seen the show, he won't know any of the references. Well, so I'm going to find him back. To thank you all the Wayne's Brothers voice. He didn't see the show. He won't know what? The fuck? How about you? You think I'm on your side with this one?

I'm sorry. Listen, Michael, I'm so sorry. Hey, Michael. Oh, no. I'm so sorry Hey Michael! I'm sorry Man, he's just making his wider wide We got to get a power back Take a photo Take a photo

Take the pillow from me on your head Fucking comfortable white guy Sit like fucking biggie in his last interview Yo, it's like my man Buffson He's like my man Buffson more important, more important, more problems. How about this street? You know what I'm just crazy? I just put it off.

You know what I'm talking about, right? He's got the hat on, he's like, you know what I'm talking about, I'm just going to move on with the problems. You don't know talking about this right he's got the hat on he's like little slow mo mo puffs If this let me tell you there's a funny podcast out there. I'll fucking I challenge it's the broadcast You on a real level I can't listen I cannot throw around as much shit as I've thrown around today and not take one right So I cannot it would be do does it me I've I've called him Malik and him Gordon Leslie I trusted drink a rock Yeah, I listen if I can't take one. I'm a fucking phony

If he does that again if he says birds name again, I'm fucking knocking Strike so accurate I'm gonna suck his dick and vine it and then ruin his to ruin his vine account I'll hold them that all fuck off and then vine it and I'll fucking take him and everything and all his kids will his parents will make him leave And then it'll be a fucking dick epidemic. Yeah, he'll have a fucking French guy and fucking sunny Maybery fucking what happened to write down? Listen by the way, so those two is not worth the wait She's listen first. It wasn't worth it. You know why because the white guy they're

White guy titties like we were talking about before Yeah, it wasn't a press I thought they're nice. I like it. I think she's beautiful. I mean she's got a face Yeah, she's got a pretty body to she's fucking sexy, but here's the sexy part about her. She's pretty she's what? Exactly. She's a goofball. She's literally a goofy She's what hilarious exactly she's a goofball. Yeah, she's literally a goofy Goofy chick, but she's unattainable because she's dating a celebrity. You know, you know who is attainable? I'm telling you men and men and Matthews. She's also attractive and Extremely funny. Can you be able to easily stream my phone? Is she black?

If you look at my funny finner right there? I actually love the voice that Louis thought. If you're an organized funny finner, right there, I feel happy. Funnily, can you bring her up from my phone so I can, look at her. I, I, I,

fuck that's my favorite thing. Yeah, I can't fuck her right. You can, get fuck right now. Get fuck right now. I can't do it. Why are you looking that up? Can I quickly just ask,

because you're the Jay Z stuff? Why didn't Beyonce fucking defend her sister when his sister was attacking her husband? She's not gonna get in the middle between a man and a sister in the middle. She stopped her from really getting crazy I thought she did the right. I think we're asking the black guys on the stove Anything I'm waiting for the for everything to burst on Beyoncé. She's just this princess and I want to know that she's welcome to the fucking new culture man. Just type her name in the Google.

Get good at something so people can tear you down because that's all they want to do. She's too perfect. Yeah, it's really black. What shit is that? You can't even go. She's, it's all coming out. I sort of got to real thing.

I think it's a hang on one second. Kelly, I really don't know if Australia is really racist, right? No. I've heard of Australia. I've heard of Australia. My family second. Kelly, I really don't know if Australia is really racist, right? No. That's my family. I've heard of Australia's murder. My family told me, I got to go to the police. They put their black people in my room. Guys, guys, guys, guys.

All right. In my room. Jesus Christ, you're the, what the fuck? Who says that? Oh, Shrulo! They did that. Listen, stop. Louis, you are going on a thing about this.

Please, expand on that. You can't be private in a fucking elevator. Like, it's a private family moment an elevator They have no private. I know there's cameras and elevators, but it's like fuck man. Can't any moment Yeah, like somebody works there So like a good the security footage cuz you know that shit went down I do I think it's a job and sold that shit to TMZ for like two million That's a good retirement plan. You know what fuck being a security go to the met

How much you think they actually made for I bet he made a hundred thousand dollars That picture I read an article in stone that dude who did the picture of Kitchen dude fucking guy that art Yeah, so did you took a picture of kitchens still with that? That's just playing you know, you understand this isn't explain what the fuck you talking about all right So Jay Z if you didn't if you haven't watched the Jay Zs Beyonce sister attack Jay Z in an elevator while they're at the That gala like kicking and yeah, so we're talking about someone had access to the elevator footage right a security guard

Someone sold it to TMZ because they have the water stain on it. Yeah, which means someone got to pay to Shit load of money for stealing that probably around 20 grand. Yeah No, because the dude who took the picture of kiss and serve with that the register. She was fucking got like 250,000 Who is this? Who's this Kristen? Who's the from twilight? From twilight. She got in a row. So it's a guy got 250,000 Yeah, but they got a picture of her fucking no, but he's got picture of him kissing But that's just a picture. So you have footage. Yeah, but he's married yeah okay he's married she's the biggest star in the fucking world yeah she's supposed to be dating the other guy in the movie so we did it

so that's a bigger no no this is easy this is perfect this is Jay Z and Beyonce this is the top of the food beyond say is in it and also the sister I thought maybe she's, but she's like full force like the bodyguard was pulling her back and you can see she's like get the fuck off She wants a Stop stop why why did she want to do it? And Beyonce just stood there and fixed her dress no way man. She was she was she did the right thing What was she supposed to do jump? Yeah, don't get involved. Yeah, it's my sister. Cozine. Cozine. This is what's your name again? Man and Matthews. Man and what a sexy name. She's gonna get some man in her.

She dates black. She's she dates a lot of black guys, right? And I don't know. I don't think so. Hi. We were so tiny. She was trying to get the game drawing Kelly's racism. I wanted to hear Kelly go like this after I said that. That's the girl I was thinking of. She's hilarious, but she's also gorgeous. I would punch I would punch my wife in the face for

I know I wouldn't That much money. Yeah, I want to take all your guy code money. I don't think that's a lot of money. You want to do it with 12 brands? That's a lot of money. To Louis Light, how much is that? That's not good to me. Louis, I don't even know. You know, some French guys doing it. What do you want to do?

I want to make 12 grand in six seconds. So go fuck yourselves. Dude, I can't wait for behind the vine. You make 12 when they show their collapse. I can't wait for behind the vine. When they show the collapse of all the money to me. I can't wait for fat Rydun. Oh, dude. And he's on the show and he's like, ugh. He's in a rocket chair in a dark place.

No, Ryd's gonna be like dirt digler. He was a man of many talents. Can you even have the whizz at me? And I do the documentary? I'll take it with you. Here we go. Here's that island. Tell you he's taking it back.

It was the drugs. It was the beer. It was the vines. Right dude, couldn't have enough. And the characters took over his brain. They all just wanted me to be careful. I just imagine them fucking interviewing all those people. You know, like, fucking Ryan was a good guy. And then the fucking court all their money.

And fuck that fucked up in the head. I don't know. I don't know. I was just about to smite. You should have waited because I was just about to speed. I'm impatient. I want to have a good one. Wow.

Kelly are already hit on the fucking web for her being racist. No! I thought it was like a... I thought it was like my name. I thought it was like my name. I thought it was like my name. Okay, yeah, Ryan's gonna be selling slush at a beach somewhere.

Yes. He went his character. Come on, and buy the slushes. And then the little kids gonna be like, the slushy man's funny and like, don't go near him. I'm don't a slushes. And then the little kids gonna be like, the slushy man's funny. And like, don't go near him. I'm gonna go near him. All right, well listen guys,

this has been a fantastic, fantastic show. You guys, thank you so much for coming on man. Thank you for having us, man. Ride doing good to have you back. I know it's no broadcast, but. Hey Tony, who else were you on? You were on, What's his name? Desquad

Brand red band red band. I love red band. I love Desquad. That's a great great network those guys are great. What's up, Tony? We got what's that and what's his name you were on? Who's who's big on vine to the did the he was on? Chris crystal. Yeah, Chris the lia's where you want his no, oh, sorry. Yeah, he's been going vine right yeah, he's right unfollowed Almost everybody on why why? Why no no 2014 here it comes when man is the beat this is the beat You try to say that

Chris Lee ain't got love for I do I don't know where the fuck we at Black bibliography Gordon and that is that is Oscar accurate Gordon and Malik I want to thank you for coming on we appreciate it Robert thanks for having us comedy outliers everybody you can look us up on Twitter and our website my slave name Fuck that Brandon Collins and Mike Brown to really get Mike would be your slave man. Mike is your slave name.

No, I don't want you to decide anything. All right. Bobby's sitting there. Tony is master chair. You go have a slave name. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh I know just walk up Tony that's cool get a shirt put put the put the minus buddy much much this is Tony this is the this is the uh, a's behind the curtain of uh, the village on the ground and the comedy seller if he is just a magic man and he helps us produce the uh, shows we do it the village he's one of the he helps us produce like the next one

coming up the my wife hates me too, which we're doing over there what's up buddy how much is dropping off some stuff for a party inside of it? Oh really? Are you ready for the show next week? Of course, man. Oh, yeah. All right. Cool. Kelly's you gonna have everything ready to go He is a fuck I love you Tony. Thank you so much. All right, buddy. I'll see you later So yeah you guys you guys. Well, what's your Twitter handle mr. underscore be You couldn't be whiter I know what is that what does that for what does that mean? Well, I just have photo underscore blackins But like I realized a lot of people were following me back to be like

Photo blackins is crazy Photo black is awesome, but no one would follow me back. Yeah, a lot of women So you are a nerd. I mean, I'm on the mic. He's wearing a Charlie Brown shirt, right? And I have Homer Simpson sneakers. Yeah, I'm a nerd. I'm a fan.

Thank you. I love you, buddy. Appreciate it. You're really, I love it. Right, dude, where are we? Before we go, what's your website? You have a website? Yeah, comedy allires.com.

Go there. Go there. We'll have a ticket stuff for show If you're in New York go see it at comedy our show. They have fucking killer line-ups Yeah, you've been on it. I've been on it. You've been on it. I was supposed to but I couldn't make it have I been on me We got you. We got you. I was asked to be on it, but I was in Australia. Have I been on it? That's why you were asked Well look at Kelly's count. She's in this way. Ask her now. Ask her now. That's what she said. Sorry, buddy.

And then it made my mistake. They never had me back. Oh, shut up. Don't let that sympathy shit get you. No, I'm pretty sure we're done. Yeah, okay, we're done. Oh, yeah. The audience is really, because I'm too sleazy.

All right, so, Ryan, do you what do you get, buddy? Follow me on Twitter at Oh Oh Oh That was real No That was real quick Quick grab ring up levity live

Twitter is right doon Fine right doon yeah everything's right on Instagram too you got a good Twitter is Rhydune, Vine Rhydune. Yeah, everything's right. Instagram, too, you got a good one. For me dude, my Instagram is Me Rhydune. And it has to be all lowercase, it looks like Mary Dune, sucks. Well, just make sure you check him out.

He's hilarious on Vine. And go check him out live. I haven't done that. I think that'd be interesting to see a live Vine show. That sounds better than a show in the dark. I think that'd be interesting to see a live Vine show that sounds Better than a show in the dark We'll it's by the way if you're out staring up There's that's that have laps all make our Kelly for suka sucks calm But I won't promote my comic stages yet. All right. What do you got Mikey? Oh?

Yeah, um, you're Mikey now. no, I'm not I'm yo my ground My name is yo my ground check me out for real on Twitter at yo my ground I'm not a game. I got a mixtape dropping out next week, son You know, I mean I got comedy outliers popping off. I got a lot of things popping off in the pop-up right now Oh, yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah Commissioner you gotta do I want to shout out to Kelly, even though your race is a fuck with you though. I still fuck with you though.

I do all that, man. Don't come at me. Oh man, that's the blackest this show's ever been. Oh yeah. Thanks for the B box. I'm sure to turn the lights out for that. Thank you so much. If we try to steal my idea, boy.

You know what I hope they do at that show? I hope they turn the mics off too. Oh yeah. You know what I hope they do at that show I hope they turn the mic off too Famous when he doesn't care about any Twitter if you want Fucking slinging guacamole with Threadna follow us. Put it, yeah. Spelled it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, please. Please, you're all okay, so low case.

SODER, no, it's capital D. Yeah, yeah, yeah, capital S. Fuck you. All right, what do you got? What do you got, Lou? Louis Katz, L-O-U-I-S-K-A-T-Z, find me on Twitter or my website, LouisKatzComedy.com.

And you got a show coming out, you got any shows happening? I'll be at the San Francisco punchline mid-July. I love that club, me too. Yeah, you're in June though, right? I think so, yeah. And besides that, I'm just in town a lot. So check out my calendar,

LouisKatsComedy.com, see me doing spots all around town at the seller. Fucking hilarious guy. And if you listen to live right now, Saturday night, Saturday night, make sure you check out a tells new show on Comedy Center, 1am. That's right.

Uncensored, comedy underground, believe it, right, let's name it. And it's on every Saturday night. So, you can go to Comedy Center on demand and watch the shows. Make sure you check it out, support because these these are the shows you guys ask for that's a you sick of uh... shitty

uh... censored comedy on tv now they finally give it to you and it's not going to be around if you don't support it if you don't watch these shows if you know behind them they just go away so you ask for it now you got it uh... one a.m. Saturday nights comedy central this at a me and and Louis and what's your name? Luna Luna. Very funny show and David Tell of course and and Norton and Jim Norton's Proponent and the chick who did something the power of them to mom. Yeah, sorry that not. Yeah, all right. So there you go. What do you get Kelly? What do you got besides not a show at their show?

I follow me on Twitter at K L.O.I. if I used to use the a Scope on me. If you're a good guy, please tweet a Kelly Can you uh can you wet that band-in or in kerosene and throw like that? Well dip it in a bottle of gas and mulled off cocktail. I just said that. But you know what? Karasine is funnier than gas. No, it's not.

Dude, I fucking said Karasine nine times in my head to get it right. I said it's fucking... Yeah. Oh, dip it in gas and throw it off cocktail. And you fucked up mulled off cocktail. Yeah, no. You fucking mush mouth.

Let's check it out. I let them figure out the joke. I said dip it in caracene Throw it at her and that was they would get they would figure out the rest of it lighter on fire You could tell I was thinking about getting pizza with Louie after the show You said band-in I was like yeah, I'm all tough. Go to that Scopo, what are you not have I got three breakchanges? I got a two-way I got to flush the any freeze I got to flush the antifreeze. I got to pick up money for my father.

I think we're running low. And I'm going to the bakery to get cookies. This Cuck's Sunkin brings cookies to my bar. We had a YKWD podcast, which we did not tape because I forgot that after everybody eats hamburgers and hot dogs, they're just dead tired. They're right. So anyways, next time we do the show first and then we do eat. I forgot that after everybody eats hamburgers and hot dogs, they just dead tired us. Oh, so anyways, next time we do the show first, and then we do, we eat. But he brought a box of cookies from his Italian bakery in his neighborhood with just Italian

people. We have some Irish and German, but you know. So there's a bunch of the no-coloured signs out. But a pool. No, but they do have fucking two drinking fountains The way it should be one has filtered water one is just a hoax What you say what you say wait should be Kelly you got to stop I know but that's not funny Kelly you got to stop I know but that's not funny

It's I mean we're being fun. I did the funny two things but I was kidding. It was off of there two things You're just gonna fuck black people Making fun of Mexicans Getting more easy fresh right you know, sorry, okay, right? I just have a fine after this show Right, right here, I'm sorry. Okay, right, let's have a vine-efter this show. Please, don't. We're watching all this corporate sponsorship go down the two and appearing on the racist.

Tell them I'm done. Oh, man. I do not know what show you have peeled on. I don't know. We need to talk. Say, I'm all gone. There's the money, it's dried up. I just knew what you said.

You could not even buy a bag. I'm a little bit... I mean, cigarettes, don't truck on them. They're all gone. I go and train, I make noise, I make a lot of money and why you do such things? You should have stayed on broadcast. It's just you talking and but laughing at everything you say. It is the perfect show. show everyone knows everyone knows that that is your favorite podcast Why did you leave them but why did you leave this story telling but your safe nest why did you leave the machine a Puffative to racist

Uh, uh, Puffy T. Storace's Storace's Uh, uh, De Biggie Piro Uh, Oasis Ston the put guest Stelon What do you got, sco-po? Uh, just a lie second That Foxwood's opening for Lewis Oh, what's up, credit

Ah, ha, ha, ha, wow I'm opening for, uh, fucking new middleer Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha You gonna love those guys at comics? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha The fuck is that? If you like metal and you're dirty, come on up, wish it faced anyways. What is it? Wednesday will be drunk by seven. Do whatever you want.

the Fuck Lewis Gomez and Scopo That's a show good for you guys No, I'm kidding. That's gonna be a great show Lewis actually killed it. He did good at joke was wild, right? Yeah He actually really fucking killed all three shows Actually did Thank you even Scopo doesn't believe in his head like that. I was thinking of a point where he would go crazy on somebody, but he didn't, it was great.

Well, anyways, so make sure you check them out at the comics on that date. You go to robikelylive.com for all my dates or you can go to get my award winning iTunes app, iPhone app on the app store. It is amazing. It has all my shows and dates and all kinds of bullshit. And also has this podcast. So you can just get that, you can get the Rycast app and go to the new Rycast website, which has a calendar right on it. All the comedians are Rycast. All their dates are right at the bottom of that new Rycast.com. I'm going to be at the off the Huckabee Club in Florida. That's on the golf side. June 5th through June 8th.

Then I'm going to punchline June 12th through the 14th. I love the punchline. I'm back. Molly's great. She's awesome. Abe is the shit. I love the, I love people. So I'm glad I was a little break there, but I'm back June 17th through, and I'm actually filming my special. So I would love for the fans of this show, the fans of mine, to come down and kind of be part of that if you want. Bring your girl, bring your couple of friends. Don't get too fucking drunk.

This isn't your night. It's my night. Okay. Oh, I was gonna put a sass around night. It's my night. Okay. I'll put a sass around. Here's a deal. I remember I know these guys have shot specials in their fans come and get fucked up, sit up front and they screaming yell and you're ruined it. Don't ruin it. But you know, you know, just come have a good time. It's going to be good time. June 17th, the information for that how to

get tickets and all that will be leaked very shortly. I really appreciate you guys supporting this show. It's every week we're getting bigger and bigger and bigger. I can't tell you how many downloads we got now. It's getting crazy. So I appreciate you guys supporting us in every single way. Truly some of the best fans in the world. You guys make it all possible. So thanks a lot. And you know what? Today I gave shit to Lewis Gomez, you know, about a show, the dark comedy show. You know, look man, I mean, he's he's trying to do something different.

Go, you know, I think the show he's, I think he's done this before. He did it with mashup. You know, he does it with, you know, comedy in the dark. It's like an alternative approach to comedy. And what is with, you know, comedy in the dark. It's like an alternative approach to comedy. And what is it? It's doing comedy in the dark. And that's, that's not just some silly, like kind of parlor trick or anything. No, no, no, no, it's an alternative.

It's a, it's a different way. It's real comedy. It's a different way of, you're good. Your material is. Yeah. And I give him shit and run a fest for it. But you know what? He's trying to do something other than regular stand-up comedy.

Because sometimes people, you know, want that. And here's what, and like that kind of shit. Like, I don't like any time people do stand-up comedy in any alternative setting like I'm gonna say this dude Mike Fenoy who was on the show last week very funny but he does a show in front of a jazz band downstairs we're just like them doing comedy with a jazz band playing jazz music while they're telling jokes it's like I don't know like why do we need parlor tricks to tell jokes. You know what? BOOM! You've been listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening.

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