Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Cowboys and Hypnotists

Episode Date: June 8, 2015

Dan Soder, Ralph Sutton, Dante Nero, Brian Scolaro, Stavros Halkias, Chris Scopo and Deepu Gill. RiotCast.com   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night. Con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 rados. ¿Yor listening to Robert Kelly's? You know what, dude. On the RiotCast Network.

RiotCast.com. Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. This is going to be a costifier. It's podcast. podcast, no rules. I'm gonna go to the mic asshole. I'm sure I've already said should I regret it? Can I get a mic? Oh, what the fuck?

That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down and sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's 10 no topics, no directions. I love doing it. Way both sides of the coin The day my podcast is popular I might affect somebody's life. You never know Alright, alright, alright. Oh, fucking eyebrows, I'm soda.

We are back with another episode of, you know what dude, podcast on the riot cast network the greatest podcast network on McDougal Street in New York City How do you like that? You think red bands going to where the greatest desk quad and then Billy's going Dad, now it's all things comedy, Dad And then this Bob Kelly going not not dead, it's fucking right, join the riot. We got a great show. Crazy fucking day so far for me.

I've had two temper tantrums. Really? One with my therapist. Don't tell me it's not personal, it's fucking personal. If somebody does something to you, it's fucking personal. Anyways. Right. Thank you. Mike, let me get a, you gotta eat that microphone. Anyways. Right. Thank you.

Michael, let me get a, you gotta eat that microphone. I have to eat the microphone. Yeah, Ben, we teach him, like my mouse in the fucking, there you go. So here that, listen difference. It was already in my mouth. Yeah, I know, but my mouth's like, I hate it.

Do you think I've never done podcast before? Well, you feel you sound the different, you know the difference, right? All I'm saying is that intro can be cut by 30 seconds. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. I was, I was eating the microphone. Yeah, well we need the intro.

We need the longer a grip. I need to mix it up. My podcast keeps getting flagged because I don't have the ownership of the music. Oh. Algorithms. So I switch it up. Anyways, we got a big, big show.

I have been doing these big shows in the last month or so. I've been cutting it down to three people in the studio and then count Scopo and Dpool. That makes it five, but really three. I, uh, no offense. I love you guys. Um, no offense taken. We, uh, but, um, we have, uh, my friend, uh, Greek friend, Astavirals was in town. So we had to put him on because I'm a big fan of this guy. I love this kid for some reason. And then you 20 years ago. I'm gonna stop by And I really don't kind of muscle my way on what time know you this is like red band. He goes No red bands I think I did the same three characters

So no he goes he goes with you you you you sure you film it tomorrow? I'm like I'm recording you recording. Yeah, well what time three? So no, he goes, he goes, what do you, you, you, you, you, you, you sure you film it tomorrow? I'm like, I'm recording. You recording? Yeah. What time? Three. All right, I'll stop by. Do you mind?

Is that what I said? Is that what I said? That's the way you sound in my head now. But it's going to be a crazy show. But I am a fan of everybody on this fucking show today. So I'm very excited about this show, even though it's a lot of people. So people who don't like a lot of everybody on this fucking show today. So I'm very excited about this show, even though it's a lot of people. So people who don't like a lot of people on this,

you go fuck yourselves. It's usually other comics. Dude, you go on the show, you can't even say anything, dude. This didn't shut the fuck up. Won't you be more alpha male than you get a word in? How's that sound? Wow.

Wow. Wow. There's a bunch of alpha males in this room right now. I'm not worried about anybody in here. I'm sure you. I'm right now. I'm not worried about anybody in here. I'm sure for fucking him Would you say I got shades of beta so all You know what you have you have fucking characters good. Oh, thank you And I was afraid of the real me. I will allow you to do anything you know that. I'm a big fan of dance out

I thank you Bobby. Yeah, I appreciate the big fan of Dan Soda. I thank you, Bobby. I appreciate the building up in front of company. I love you. It's very abusive relationship of you. Who has it? Like, I love you so much. So when I hit you later, everyone knows I started with you. I will hit you.

All right. Mm-hmm. Cory fell. All right, what do you think? Dante, is your neck can I get bigger? Yep. Who? I didn't even know there was a neck. I was wondering if this is some type of therapy you're doing for your quadruple.

Oh, there it is. Turns out Dante's half-tournest. Can I say something? Dante's not like a regular two. He's like one of those big snap-a-turtles. Yeah, the snap-a-tles. Yeah, and the Galapagos Islands. You're like, take a picture with it.

It's way bigger than a normal turtle. All right. All right, who do we go on the show today, Scopio? Padusa Scopo. To my right, we have Dante Nero. Oh, who is? Yum. He's got one of them.

I'm telling you right now, you're fucking podcast is growing and growing. Thank you, brother. And I appreciate it. You definitely helped that. We're very proud to have you on the network. We be on it and you know when you first joined I was like I put trees He didn't say that to me though not to you

I said to my wife. I said it to Rob. I said it to soda And they all came and told me I was like what's going on with Bobby? No you fight a show The beige Philip show is killing it Killing it. So there you go. Who else we got you got monster voice. He's back More more. Wow. That was a hell of a monster voice. He's more corporate Dan today Damn, I'm just you know just enjoying it. I can always tell when he has his hands clasped like a Contrae got not pooping Huh go take a

shit there and I it's not ready to go yeah you got to get a squatty potty in here and then he could be oh we need a studio squatty potty we already talked about it they do have portable squatty potty they do just came out one squatty potty into the conversation uh it's it's no longer alpha males. Alpha, wait, I disagree. I'm on the Robert's side. I'm on the Robert's side. It wasn't good. I knew what I was doing. I knew what I was doing before.

I saw you raise it. Good. I raised it. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not.

I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. Like you don't I love is you call me monster voice Brian really does have the voice of like a 68-year-old blues guitarist He's like I wrote this song like booty gum to Murphy. Yeah, like Tom weights cat

I'm tell you right now Brian's Galaro is here. Thanks friend for a long time. I'm known you for a lunch 20 years a long time You're 20 years dude. You know you're the reason I'm in the cellar Do you remember recommending me to the cellar? I don't. Yeah, in 1995, you recommended me downstairs. Really? And I got in on the first audition.

So, thanks to you. Oh, let me tell you something about this guy. He has one of the careers that I admire because he's a funny, stand-up comic, kills it, hilarious. But then he goes and he books a fucking show all the time. And you'll also know him from the voice of FX Oh, I'm Louis just Louis all right, which is the voice of XX Pretty much

Communion is not really pulling it. I'm getting comedians great show No, I do like comedian No, but Louis is the fucking show you are the voice of your I know we're getting to these Yeah, we know we saw we do We I just want to say you're fucking great on the show. Thank you. The episode we are in prison. You're fucking great. You are. You become such great actor. Thanks, buddy. I appreciate that. Well, I know you're still a great actor. He would have been on time. But you're

a puppet on it. I saw you run a pilot of the the cop show, no, the med show, the medics, you know, the entire silence. You're a great coke bottle in my ass Yeah, are you guys gonna just start sucking each other's dick? I hope so now That's why I showed up to I came you're better. No, you're better. No, you are better She gave me his goat. Oh, what's that? You gave me a goat and I didn't know what to do with the goat It was a great scene. I thought it was a great scene I mean, you gotta give Louis most the credit because he writes all that shit. He's not here.

Yeah. But you ain't got to say, Louis! You could fuck us him up, but you made a great. Thanks, buddy. I appreciate that. No, comics really can fuck up things. You friends, dude, I'm on this thing and you watch it. Like, oh, bleep.

You know, you say next to your chick, and she's just like, why would he do that? You know, from that, well, you know. You ever see a comic friend who was just suck at acting you're like, uh, yeah, but the next time you see him, you're just like, hey man, killed it. Killed it.

Zoo were on that show. I saw you on it. I saw you. No, you look good. I saw you on this. Oh yeah. And I watched most of it. It was great.

I speaking of, yes, you have from the sex drugs and rock and roll podcast Ralph Sutton. It was incredible. Speaking of who's... You have from the Sex Trucks and Rock and Roll podcast, Ralph Sutton. Ralph Sutton. Who looks like the guy who gets killed on every episode of Game of Thrones. He really does it. He does have a North of the Wall by the way. He really... The Wilding.

Yeah. North of the wall find is like a great, it really does. Montreitas are king. My wife's walk is a common. We must join together. I will fight by a crow's side. If you join them, I'll slice you. I just leave this crow's prettier than all of my wives.

That's a joke. I know Dante's eye in his necklace. Dante's the ring. I want to take that necklace and make it a nose ring. That watch is fucking insane. I close my eyes. I know who's talking. It's crazy. It's like two of us in there. It's amazing. Wait, you said that.

Of course we have my new favorite little... Sun, Fred. He is like Greek Sun. You're a little Greek doublet. I'm sorry, but I've watched it. Watching these two eat together, it's a special thing. It really is. This kid. Yeah, then you guys look like a station food. We were in Boston. We had a great food at that place, and then we wanted to go get dairy food. Like, I want to get desserts. These two were fucking hairy food. They had great food, and we went to get dairy food. I've never heard of this.

He's dairy food. Yeah, whatever it is. His face is different with food comes from a cow. It's called dairy food. Why was his my gun and my nut? Oh. Everybody has problems, Brian. Well, you say the guy's there.

Dove House. His name is Stavros. Wow, that's the being in more Greek. his name is Stavros wow that's the beginning more Greek and he is How close he is my new favorite I have taken a light to this kid. I swear to God I am like it. Do I want to fuck him? I mean I am adorable you are fucking a My wife fucking loves this kid. She was I like him a lot. I'm like settle down His eyes have like child like wonder in them. He looked very innocent. Thank you very innocent Yeah, he was the spaces between his teeth his crooked glasses is fucking mouth-attered bald

I'll tell you this you I guarantee if he was out of breath and confused asking questions It would just make me choke up a little bit I just want to get to all this questions. I don't know what the fuck it is. Is there anything gonna be okay then? Oh God, a come here, buddy. He's got a runny nose. Oh, dude, that was a good set. Is there anything to say to it? He's actually, he's fat,

but I don't consider him fat for some reason. Now he's the way you look at like a, like the way you look like a D end. We are like, I don't think you're fat. Well, thank you. It's still athletic. D end, I appreciate that. Man, we could have gone tackled.

You could have gone tackled, but I was tackled, but. I'm not a prick. What. Well, thank you. Athletic D. End. I appreciate that man. I could have gone tackle you could have gone tackle I'm not a prick. What a guy. Thank you, Dan. We had the big barbecue at my house this weekend Oh, that was yeah, it was it was a nightmare It's on Norton's video of it which really made me fucking First off, thanks for the invite I don't know here's the problem with the barbecue honestly got honestly got this the problem with the barbecue. Honestly, God, honestly, God, this is the problem with the barbecue. Last year I had the barbecue. Great. And sunny. Somebody burned all the lavender bushes. I didn't have a lavender bushes. Call it back to something

we talked about off-mic. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, good podcast. Thank you. Put them here. Why don't you pariscope that? Well, last year when I invite you, invite people, and I have a shitty memory and you start to invite people, and of course I'm going to get call, and of course I'm going to get blah, blah, blah. And you invite them, and I'm going to say, oh, forgot about that. And as you bump into it, you're like, oh, forgot about that. I know you don't get fucked. I wasn't going to come any way.

I understand. I was just joking around. No, no, no,'t care about that. I wasn't gonna come anyway. I understand. I was just joking around. No, no, no, but this really happened. It's a fucking weird thing. And I'm patrised right through this before too, where he would just not invite people that even colony, didn't invite colony the next year, because he said no the first year.

He's not coming anyways. And calling got mad. They got into a fight about it. Oh, it's true. He was like, yo, I don't give a fuck if I say no every year. I deserve an invite. Yeah. I. You should call me or text me and I should be invited. I should have the choice to say yes or no, even though I'm always going to say no. I'm not going to

Jersey City ghetto. Okay, to have a barbecue and a fucking backyard, you know, garage. But, you know, I get that. So I try it, even this year, all the people that came to me and did what you did. I was I know, I know. I know. I swear to God, I know, I get that. So I tried, even this year. All the people that came to me and did what you did, because I know, I know, I know. It's where I got, but I know, I know, I know. But a lot of people were, a lot of people were fucking hurt. And they came to me and said, hey, what the fuck? I invited them all this year. You know how many of them showed up?

Not one fucking cock sucka. There you go. We're down it's over. They can use the Patrice rule no I can't because they actually they gave me a text hey sorry I couldn't make it blah blah blah blah blah blah if they excuse themselves out then you can invite them again if they just don't show up then they can take off fucking that's true they all excuse themselves but I used to you you had a party in the buddy came is that we get a party in 50 people came and I was fucked. Oh. Because, okay, here it is.

It was nice day, nice day, nice day, Sunday, all week was gonna be shit. So I tried to 10 people, I call them up, I was gonna get a 30 by 20, 10, all set to go, we're on 500 bucks at the last minute Thursday, they say we don't have that, we have a 40 by 30, and I go how much is that, a thousand bucks. I go go fuck your mother

Go fuck yourself. They do that might have been over reaction Well, I didn't say it. I said it. I said it to my wife to tell it to them She was on the phone. I go time ago. Fuck themselves hang up and she was like she just hung up He says he's up so I went to a MP and for $29 a pop I bought pop up gazebo's. Okay. Okay. And I put up six pop up gazebo's and I made a fucking 40 by 30. 10. So you had a wedding reception in your backyard. Well I duct taped them all together.

Okay. So that the rain. Got him a guiver. Right. Doc taped them all together. I bought a beautiful $140 gazebo for under my rock garden fire pit. It was every seat was covered. There was this chair for everybody

and every seat was covered from the rain. Everybody shows up. I got around 700, 800 dollars worth of food, okay? Well, the sun's out around two o'clock. My neighbor comes up, Dolores 67, 72, whatever the fuck. Bobby, I don't know who you know, but you must know somebody very big up there, because the sun's out. So let's just pray that it stays that way.

Dolores don't you fuck this up for me. Don't you put God in this Dolores. She fucked it up. Dolores don't roll it right in. 10 minutes later. It rained. I'm out. I got a fucking photo of me.

I cooked for three hours in the rain. It was fucking hilarious. It was tor hours in the rain. It was fucking hilarious It was torrential fucking rain. It was god rain. It was fucking god rain. Bobby I don't know who you know up there, but they're gonna like you for 10 minutes Guys All me the whole podcast is me. I was going to go red band All mean a whole podcast is me. I was going to go red band There's too much red band already. You saw the excitement of my eyes and he jumped in so a double-buck I cut you a double the

So so it's not rated it's fucking ridiculous. I got 50 people and I can hear and they're all comics and they're the fucking mean It's funny as people in the world. I was crashing that shit out of you. They were, I could just hear them, but I had to cook. I had to keep cooking. I just kept cooking and I'm talking, rain is going down my asshole. I'm wet fucking head to toe. But you're in hero mode at that point. I'm in fuck, I have to.

If I don't feed these fucking people, it's going south. Heart on fire. Yeah, you're looking's your steak tips Fucking of course, uh, stavros keeps coming by stealing fucking food off the grill But but so adorably These guys are so lazy And he's, that fucking prick. He's shit. Yeah.

So I was saying that everything's holding up. Everybody's under honing. It's actually going great. Everybody's here. My manager, Jim Cervical comes with his whole family. His wife's the best kid in the world. So of course I do. And then I mean, Meredith came, Chris Ellis came.

I mean, it was fucking awesome. It was a lot of great people. I mean, Meredith came, Chris Ellis came. I mean, it was fucking awesome. It was a lot of great people. And then all of a sudden, all the tents at home, all of a sudden they're here. One of the fucking gazeboes, literally, breaks. All the water just falls on scopes, fucking ass. Yeah.

Me and Monroe is sitting there, we got the word. We got in the back and I got all down my fucking legs. And then all of a sudden, the gazebo's just start fucking one after the other yeah, dude It was a nightmare and everyone was like fuck that we're going inside 50 people in my living room And that's great except Bobby still outside just looks like yeah, he looked like an autistic kid whose thing was grilling I have to keep grilling have to keep grilling He was like we got him off trains Like radio in the rain

In the football game That's a good one. That was not oh my god. I mean we could take a vote But I just go to a soup don't take no Here's the problem because he made the joke that got a laugh and you went it's like you just want detailed about it It's like I in the ahead of first and he beat me to it first of all I want you to eat this and swallow it, shitting it back out and give it back to me. Watched.

That's how bad that joke was. Come with your status. You deserve, no, wrap that around the top of the microphone. I want everybody watching to see what I'm fucking. Dude, it's like radio, the, well, I wish we had replay. I'd fucking, I want to, that's like a bad smell.

I just want to smell it again. I wish we had a spotty potty. So, then to deal. It was fucking nuts. And then of course Ben and Jerry guys I cad them cater sundays. Yeah. Great was that. Oh yeah. Everybody's in my kitchen with sundays. And there's a bunch of kids. Very food. Huh? There was no fucking uh, uh, aesthetics. So it was, it wound up being, I think it was a blast. It wound up being fucking great. That's a good tub. You didn't get invited.

I, uh, next year though, you get the, I don't even live here. I know, that's why you get invited. That's why I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm I'm,. It was a fucking, we already had a good time.

Everybody ate, everybody left around 530 or so the how it was just me, Stavros and my friend Joe. And all of a sudden I look and there's just these two black kids walking up my driveway in the rain. I was like, what the fuck? And fucking, Chris Cotton, and who? Derrigate. Well Chris Cold Monroe at like three. And it was like, you guys gonna be there. and fucking Chris Cotton and who? Derrigate.

Well Chris called Monroe at like three and it was like he was gonna be there. We're like yeah, we're gonna be there and then the range is fucking fucked everything up. They show up at the door, I go look, this isn't a black fucking barbecue. I have a two year old. It's over at 5.30.

He goes to bed at seven. It's done. So there's, there's, there's, now of course I brought him in. I fed him like, I fed him like everything. I fed him fed him they ate a bitch that I'm in he fed him everything They did I saw them last night they were they were talking about good to talk about it. They fucking ate Three hamburgers each two hot dogs. They were commenting that my yo man. This is a good barbecue You have a front open hot dog

They said they said open up side, they open up the top. What is the split top hot dog puns? Split tops. Wait, that's a thing. Oh yeah, with all of all of the black dudes. A true sign of wealth is the split top. Split, yeah. So apparently, I didn't know I was eating the Mercedes-Benz

or fucking hot dog puns over the whole life. I thought polo lessons were normal. Are you sure they weren't just holding the buns to the side of my mind? Is it always the top? I was so happy I got that one in. I'll be back in five minutes. I turned to a wrist. We're rich. And then they started eating the cake. Now we had the Colin Quinn cake and then we had Max's cake. Max's cake was a double-decker yellow with chocolate frosting. Why two separate cakes? Well, Colin's birthday, because he's a different human being.

And my son is Max and he's a different person. No, but with the oddity of two separate cakes, they didn't realize that. I didn't want to have two like mush cakes together. I know there was both their birthdays. That's what I'm talking about. You know this, I love that he slammed them just but not knowing that they were too birthday Sorry, I'm going to know and everyone's birthday. No, I said that I knew it. I know I said it was Collins birthday I said we had Collins cake Collins birthday and we actually have a cake for Amy because it was Amy's birthday too

It was a nicky lasers birthday the same thing, but I'm not as close with her. No, I'm kidding. I don't fucking know. So anyways, they're eating Max's cake is way better. It's fucking way, it's a double-decker. It's just a better cake. They're eating that thing like it's fucking popcorn. And I said, I go, listen, stop with the cake. You're taking, he calls fucking cake.

You know, that's my son's cake. But they were fucking great. They actually left. They said they're gonna get me an award in the black community of a feeding black children. Great, and the LACP is gonna acknowledge you. They ate a lot of food, dude. And then they left, I gave him trays. Huge, like two plate seats, and I go grab a couple of sodas

and they did. They grabbed the three each. It's like, you guys, you do spots, you get spot money, what the fuck? No, but they fucking left. And then it was a great party, even though the rain happened, but it was fucking nuts.

It was a nuts, a nut fucking day. I absolutely hate throwing parties. I don't know why you do it is. You have to clean up, you have to get all the food. It's no fun for you. Nobody ever says thank you. You're always like, oh shit, somebody Is you have to clean up, you have to get all the food. No fun for you. Nobody ever says thank you. You're always like, oh shit, someone's gonna spill something.

Yeah, but it was the sun's birthday. That's different things. Well, it's more than that. It's, it's, it's, you know, I'll tell you why. Patrice used to throw these parties every year. Awesome. Barbecues, and we all went, and it was our way of staying together as friends.

Okay, here's comedy, and we show here, blah, blah, blah, but let's go and do normal shit together. Okay, we can't go to Brazil anymore and bang hookers because some of us are married with children. So let's just go to a barbecue hangout as human beings and real friends and mix and mingle. And that's what we did. And Keith called me up a couple of years ago

when I got a house and said, when's the fucking barbecue, you motherfucker? And I was like, I get it. And that's why I throw a house and said when's the fucking barbecue you mother fucker and I was like I get it and that's why I throw a couple at least two barbecues a year for all of us comics to get together and just hang out and be fucking human beings for a little bit instead of having to just see color the clubs are all right you know I'm saying I just think it's a very thankless position to be the party host well you're right but I kind of but I kind of like, I kind of like it. I don't mind cooking for everybody. There's this fucking maternal instinct I have that I,

I kind of like taking care of my friends. And, you know, I didn't mind cooking. I literally cooked for three hours straight. But you're right, next year we're hiring a maid to come in at the end of the party around seven, eight o'clock. So we're gonna get a maid and a cold crew to come in and clean up. So my wife is a cleaning.

Rob, can I borrow $500? Yeah, hang on, I think you do apparently are doing great. That was $120 bucks for me. Buy gazebo's maids. There were $120 bucks, I need to spend the flowers in it. I don't have money. Two cakes. Bobby's the gazebo king of fucking Westchester.

If he wants a gazebo, let me know, I got six of them. I swear to God, I'm giving his way They go from 10 to gazebo like why did you make that switch you bought him his tents and then you made them gazebo No, I was gonna get a tent They get the ten people but what quantifies gazebo over tent? A tent that's a good question and it's a weird question I don't know because you made the different What do you fucking nuts? Why do you need this?

What makes the difference if you're gonna turn it to Zibo? You said you bought your bought four tenths and you made a gazebo. No, no, no, no, I said I bought four gazebo's and made a tenths. It's not even even worse. It's also not a gazebo is like a 10 by 10. It's like. It's just a pop up little, it's like, yeah, it's just, it no walls, nothing. The walls, I think that's the difference. well it's tennis walls but yeah ten can still be no this

tends to be open while ten holds the water away is he but is not ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha This is why I know people just don't like Skullbomb. That was a great joke and this beautiful man who's here for the first time laughed hysterically at his joke and we didn't even hear it. We don't even listen to Skullbomb. You know, he knows a great joke, Skullbomb. You can take the bandana rock on that one. He puts a few pieces of sticker on it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, oh, man. I'm gonna catch the replay. That's like just, wow. That's like doing a cheque spot and everyone's,

all right, you can do it, buddy. Come on. Oh, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can,

you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, before we got interrupted by Mythbusters. I'm out. I'll turn him here for a gentleman. What's the difference between, well, we tested it. Guy, what's up? I was gonna say you were talking about Colin

and arguing with Patrice over the invite. Yeah. I used to like nothing more than watching to them argue. They were great arguments. I know Colin stole life. What I'm saying is, with Patrice, he was a fantastic argue. I saw them debate for now and a half of what was better Sanford and son all in the family. Oh those are great debate. Yeah, well, this was a real one your saying

Well, what with them though, that was a real argument. That was a real yeah, those feelings were hurting I don't know you know, it's it I get it though, you know I understand it when you don't get invited to something, especially, you know, where people, you think your friends would somebody for a second and you don't get the invite, it fucking hurts. You're like, what the fuck did I do? And with me, and I learned that like, I didn't, you just forget.

And but there is a point financially where you have to say, look, I can't buy 107 hot dogs and 107 hamburgers because you don't know how much somebody's gonna eat you don't I mean I kind of did it better this year you know what I mean but the year before I had way too much food this year I kind of had the Justin right amount how old is your kid now but I spent a thousand dollars on food for a fucking barbecue now if fucking nobody shows up, I'm fucked. Right. If everybody shows up, you know, it's good. I did it two years ago for New Year's.

I spent almost $2,000 on a party had about 20 people in my house. Everybody said it was the best part of the ever had in their lives. I was fucking miserable. I'm never doing it again. People spilled shit on my couch. People broke shit. I never want to do that again. I don't see the enjoyment of that at all. You know, you gotta stop inviting fucking metal bands to party, guys. I invited fucking comics, we're boring. All we did was try to fucking smash each other.

That's all they did was just smash each other and eat food and then Keith got drunk. We had to wear about one black guy spilling wine on my floor. It's too black guy, show up late. Yeah, it was a good time. There was smash in everybody though. Jesus Christ, I'm glad I was cooking.

Because you could just hear the laughter coming from the fucking underneath the good gazebo. Or the ten. It's happening. So anyways, I get it though, you can't really get hurt. I mean, look man, I remember when I did anything, kind of fucks me, I remember when I did the Moon Tower festival, and they didn't put my fucking name

on the poster, and you show up and you look, and your names nowhere on, it's like, what the fuck? Well, I'm closing every show, and my fucking name's not on the poster, you're like, I mean, it sounds trivial, like, who gives a fuck, shut your face, but it's not, it's like, I mean it's kind it sounds trivial like who gives fuck shut your face But it's not it's like why the fuck yeah, yeah, you don't want to be in more I host this rock cruise every year called ship rock and I know so to most to make fun of it also with little biscuit on a Oh, yeah, it's hepatitis on the ocean and we had Fred Durst do the announcements on the boat

The late lead center limb biscuit What is that? The rock band from when will do the 90s? uh... the late leetor limp limp is good what is that the rock band will do the night uh... keep the faith one of the greatest songs ever uh... it's actually faith not keep the faith but uh... no i was talking about the

judge michael uh... was one of the local uh... so you i was trying to get out of it but he literally announced every he announced every single thing that

was happening on the boat for the whole week on the microphone the only thing he didn't mention was the sdr show being on the on the boat really like on on the for four thousand people heard every single announcement but then we feel like shit you felt we not matter yes you know like what the fuck we're here every night when i did the bruha with cow head i mean it's his fucking show that's promoting it they they they fucking didn't have a dressing room for him. And the band, he has a fucking band, the Pipple toddler, and they're playing after in the lobby, and they're

promoting it on the fucking number one morning show for three weeks, four weeks, whatever, and they did, they walked in and they go, who are you? It's like, he's like, I'm fucking Mike cop are you fucking out of your mind? How do you not you know let that get under your skin? It's not personal though. It's personal But my therapist said it's not personal. I know what you're doing. I wish I'm so glad my therapist isn't your size This is one was that I would be I'd be like no you're right first off. I wouldn't my wife's not a country I wouldn't. My wife's not a country. I wouldn't have worked for any issues.

How do I hear whatever? My wife's never passive aggressive. She's not a bitch. I'm going to go home right now and make love to her. I'm going to eat her pussy and go, it's not my sister. It's not my sister. Oh, how you doing? Sex drugs are not going to work.

Yeah, it just sucks getting. When you do something, you want to fucking, especially when comedy, you want to fucking, you want to feel good about it. Why the fuck do everybody get to feel good except for you sometimes?

You know, and it's just a matter of fucking, hey, put his name on the poster. I don't give a fuck. What about when it's spelled wrong? That piss you off as much as you. It's how to be really fucking annoying. It's ridiculous that that would happen. It was bad.

Because here's the day. That would bow ball to me a hundred years ago when they have a little we put type, you know, get a letter and say, and that gunk gunk. Yeah. It's on a computer. It was in gravy. Yeah, exactly. I walk in every situation now assuming it's going to be absolutely horrible. And then I leave very happy Really? Yeah, you always got I always go any event that you assume something's gonna fucking have

I'm like oh, they're gonna give me a feature who's 200 pounds heavier than me so I can't do my fat jokes I'm sure it's gonna happen his name's gonna be bigger My mic's gonna be broken nobody's gonna show up and then everything turns out fine and I go Usually I got a shit that. That's the best philosophy. You said you set the bar. I know, I was a psychopath. I was a half-joking. I'm completely serious.

You put the bar solo, you can step over it. Oh, yeah, you've done that with your career. Whole touch worked. I am blown away that I'm here right now. I know what you're saying, but there's a point, I know what you're saying, you're going to go, but there is a point where you're like, you know, it's too, I think we're a bunch of people, please, at least I am, because you feel bad when they get it wrong and then they try to get it right.

And then I'm like, I feel bad. Oh, it's okay. I mean, you just shut your mouth and teah, sorry, whatever, I'll let my comedy do the talking. I'm 25 years in, I'm pretty sure it's not gonna, you know what I mean? And my comedy's gonna do, what the fuck, what are you gonna do? About 20 years ago, James Earl Jones was given an award

for Martin Luther King Day, and on it, it said to James Earl Ray, the guy that killed Martin Luther King. and on it it said to James O'Rea, the guy that killed Martin Luther King and they gave it to him on stage and that's when they noticed that the award was spelled wrong. And then he flipped the fuck out. But there was a fucking white supremacist. I'm sure there was a white supremacist behind that. Literally a way back in the crowd going like this.

God damn crackers. That is a great prank though. I mean, it's racist as shit but that's not what it was. That's not great prank though. I mean it's racist the shit, but that's that's not as fucked up That's not an accident somebody did it There's no way you fuck that. Why did we pick the Confederacy? Fucking plaque building company. I don't know. Wow That was worthy Listen, I was with you though. Yeah, yeah, I was looking at you. You have such a good window and say any words on here

47 people here to have a lunch with words come out. You got to get it in I think we're doing fine We're doing all right, but I stumbled a little bit because it's like go go go go Everyone's looking at you. Yeah, do not blame your fucking fwub Everyone's looking at you. Yeah, do not blame your fucking fwub. Wait, you're all out of the fucking amount of people. Everybody in here is doing very well. I absolutely will. I'm not talking all the percent.

I don't think so. 100%. Can you fix the strings on your hoodie please? They're bugging me. Never. Not here. That's actually what I wanted. Reverse psychology.

You wanted stroke hoodie? I. Anyways, your podcast is sex drugs rock and roll. Yes, and is what is it about? I don't know too much about really about those three things that you talk about. Well, I'll really quickly do with Jay Okerson. Yeah, I love it.

No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Did you get his haircut? Yeah, last time we we we periscope the debut. Okay, why did he get his haircut? What? He said it's his time. It looked ratty.

I think, you know, it was too long. So he's back to hip hop, Jay? He looks like he was like, someone tweeted that he looked like a lead singer in a lesbian band or something. Well, we don't, nobody knows this, but Jay was really into fucking rap at one point and he wore, he had a hip hop hairdo

and he wore hip hop clothes and he his picture is promo picture with Kevin Hardy a super short hair. Well, no, he used to dress like like big pants. Yeah, big pants. He used to have the fade, high top fade, high top fade, we cuts in the eyebrow trying to while out. Yeah, he was really fucking hip hop back in the day. And now he's, now he's, now he's met O, but now he's finding himself. Finding his roots. He's going back in the day. And now he's met Oba now he's finding himself.

Finding his roots, he's going back to his roots. I hope, at least now one minute is gonna come off. Bump bump bump bump bump. You know it's so hard as a fat guy comic that I don't want people to make fun of my weight but yet when a good fat Joe comes on about another fat comic, I want to say it but then I feel bad because I feel like

I'm turning on my fat brethren. You're not. But you said he used to have big pants and well come on. Doesn't he still have big pants? That was worth it. Alright. Oh, jeez. So we interview rock star. Never even met you, dude. I'll tell you the truth. When I fucking walked in here, I was like, I hope I'm not sitting next to that guy. And look what happened. I was like, I'm with Subway smell when he came up to the store. I want to sit down there. I want to sit next to that guy.

Hey, God, Ryan is going out of here. I don't even fucking know him. I don't even fucking know you. I love you, Ralph. I fucked me all day. I don't care, man. Hey, God, what's that guy? This is my love, Ryan Scalaro.

Listen to me. This is my love, Ryan Scalaro. Ryanaro. I was I had lunch with Lenny Marcus today And he told me just a beautiful Brian Scalaro story. Oh, yeah, oh, it goes with the I've omitted on accessing You know, I told him I love Brian because he doesn't take shit Brian because he doesn't take shit There's no filter there's no let me go talk to some Right then in there as it has it happens it come it goes in his ear and it comes out as fuck And that's why I love Brian okay, and he told me the time you're at the Nebraska of

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he wasn't there with me, but we spoke about it. He said you called him. Yeah, I was missed What can we have? I don't want to talk bad, but it's just like when it's When I they were like you want to do this competition. I go. I don't do competitions and then he said I promise you it's fair I was like you swearing against fair so you say I was like okay, I'll come then then I go and Me and like several other people kill right, but it's got gotta be one white guy, one black guy, one girl. Each fucking competition had to end with, I was like, what are the chances? Right? That each group wound up with one white guy, one black guy, one girl.

So then we were probably pretty pissed. I called the blending because I said, yeah, it's fake. Yeah. Because I was promised it was real. You were fucking flipping. You were mad as fuck. Oh yeah, it was. I was the next shirt thousand dollars

They get to the next round and I fucking and Bob biggest staff did well He should have he should have advanced right I fucking love Brian like soon as he fucking snapped on him And just kind of just fucking know you can see I don't know him and he's just old enough begun Back back back back just started letting off on him one after the other I forget what he did. What are you doing again? He just started going out of his engine. That's like a lot of six things. He's like, wow, like six things. Yeah, he was like, I'm just saying it.

Fuck, I don't even fucking know you, man. I'm fucking know. He's like, I know. But there was like that mess, but it was like he tripped like a wire. And he's like, bruh, bruh, bruh, bruh, bruh. He's on the premises. Bruh, bruh, bruh, bruh.

Yeah, if he was like, a bride was an old man a Mississippi and someone came on his own Maybe dead Passing sign on the line He put three shots open and go and I don't even know this fucking Brian has a bunch of balls in his backyard. From kids in the neighborhood. Come here. You guys again, there's 15 minute rants from one fucking center.

So yeah, we've got a personality there. We're called comedians. This guy what we do before. I don't know. I don't know. He throws his car, he throws his car, he throws his car. Oh, shit. All right, so do we squash this between you? No, it's not that I am gonna keep it alive and let me do it. First impression, it was like first impressions matter. So even when me and you are at Big J's funeral and fight,

I'm gonna say fuck that guy. I'm gonna say fuck that guy. I'm gonna say fuck that guy. I'm gonna say fuck that. I'll be singing it here. I'll be singing it here. I'll be singing it here. I'll be singing it here.

I'll be singing it here. I'll be singing it here. I'll be singing it here. I'll be singing it here. I'll be singing it here. I'll be singing it here. I'll be singing it here. I'll be singing it here.

I'll be singing it here. I'll be singing it here. I'll be singing it here. I'll be singing it here. I'll be singing it here. I'll be singing it here. I'll be singing it here. I'll be singing it here. Do you know what the history is between them and my I think I think Brian made a pants joke Ropped in life and I'll be like I was there I was there with What happened What's up what's up Jason Haircut why Ronucleus about

That's common though it's come I didn't want to make fun of another fact I'm gonna lose my chance. He's gonna be a shit fucker. That's common though, that's common. I didn't want to make one of another fact, and I'm like, look what happened. Next time, go with it, bro. This is why you didn't let's go with it, bro. Like, there it is, it's just, I went late.

There is a fact, I said this on stage the other night, and I got a hot one, but I said it, it's like black eyes with OJ. Fat guys with fat guys. We'll stick by each other? Yeah, we do. I, it's true. I, I, the, the, That's why I have that joke about fat rye cops and I,

I go, I feel, when I watch the news, I always, I, I feel, I look for the fat guy in the news, like in tragedies, like, like the tsunami. I remember I was, I would, I could see the fucking skinny guys in the trees and there's always that fat guy holding on to two Honda bumpers You know, I'm like every cat the neighborhood on his fucking head And it's like fuck nobody can help him because he's too big They just gotta let him fucking die. I do get angry at fat people though

And I do when I buy myself in the car and there's a fat guy taking a firm like it's crossing the street I'm like get out of the way fat fuck really where if I'm staring out a girl in a supermarket creepily from like three You don't well have whatever there three feet away three miles away just looking at her and a fact I just happens to step in between us a block my view I go you fat fuck right like I still do about all the fat people Despite the fucking fact. I feel bad. I always feel bad for fat people And I'm not just talking obese mother fuckers. I'm talking, yeah yeah you know I mean like not in shape people you know you're a little sweet no I'm fucked with the weight because I was on a tear for three weeks going to the gym working out no sugar no grains I went back to Boston to do the show and I hung out with this fucking

sovaki I tapped out I think everyone everyone tries to go too gung ho. You go in 100% like, no this, no that, no that, and you can't keep that up. You just gotta cut one or two things out. I lost 11 pounds in the past month just by like stopping to eat bread. I know, I agree with you. I don't really get too crazy.

Like I'm on a diet. I just try to cut the sugars and the grains out. And then when I fuck up, I fuck up. But there's a difference between what I did. When we went back to Boston and since then, I've been on a binge. I've been drugging it out, dude. There's no need for me to have a half a cake. Well, there's double-decker good cake.

No, it's calling quinkets. Yeah, and last night, I'm hungry. I went to a half of it down, huh? I just went and got Chinese food. You know what I mean? It was dumb. Are you like if you get the taste that you're good or you just, you go all in?

Do you get shark eyes? Like this, you're just fucking. As soon as I go to bite the cake, they roll back, so I don't hurt them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, look at him. Yeah. I don't hurt them. Yeah. I don't hurt them. Yeah. He... He... Oh, look at him. He's just gonna make me laugh.

He's gonna make me laugh. He's gonna make me laugh. He's gonna make me laugh. He's... Bobby gets sure, guys. He never seen it. Black eyes. He's...

He's... He's... He gets the thrashing. The only thing you have to wipe him is teeth. I think there's a certain point that I accept my fatness. Someone sent me a picture of me, my actual friend, my great friend Joe, Yenetti from Boston, who just survived cancer this last year, thank God.

What are you in Italian grandma? What do you bring up? What do you bring up bad shit when you talk about people? My friend is, my friend is Stell, who's son just died. Anyways, we are at K-Mart together. My friend is my friend is still who's son just died Anyways, we are at Kmart together What a fucking nothing It's made me bummed out. Oh my god. That's a fun Italian name. We can make fun of

Speaking of cancer. I Do want to bring this up no because, because it helped me out today. It really did. It helped me out actually three times in the last day and a half. It's on my Facebook page. It's on the, you know what, dude, page. I was going through my Facebook home feed, whatever the fuck it is.

People I follow and I saw Jim Brewer, things you shouldn't say to your wife if she's going through chemo. He put a video up. His wife didn't shower, but it's, Jim, she's going through chemo? She put a video up his wife is didn't shower but it's him. She's going through chemo. She has cancer. So he has that. He's dead. He's nervous. And now, you know, but he's in the room. Let me tell you something about this guy. I'm not great friends with Jim. I know him. I've been, he's been very nice to me over the years. And we all know how funny he is, but I'll tell you how fucking truly funny this guy is.

And this is, I'm talking a comic through and through, born to be, and there's nothing you can say about it. This guy's sitting in the bed with his wife, who's going through chemo right then, and he says things, you know, he's laughing with his wife, and he does a video. Now he doesn't have to share this with the world. It's a very private moment.

He says things you shouldn't say to your wife when she's going through chemo. And he's like, are you done yet? You know what I mean? And he starts and then he's laughing, but she's laughing hysterically in the background. And he just keeps going. It's like the game's on.

You know what I mean? And it's hilariously funny. You know, Jim's laugh is contagious too, that fucking, it was one of the greatest things ever to see a guy making his wife, you know what I mean? And that thought you could sit there and sulk and be sad and cry and not talk to anybody, not do any social, nothing, and everybody would be okay with that.

But he is in that moment fucking being himself and his wife and the fucking laughing and loving each other and giggling. And I just, I thought about that three times, shit has happened to me, the bullshit. And I was like, what the fuck, I'm fucking, fuck, fuck it, fuck it. You know, so I just wanna say, you know,

I thought some prayers about his family. He's out of a rough five years. And that is really just made me laugh, made me laugh and cry a little, you know. But I think that's what it comes down. A lot of comics, it's our self-defense mechanism. So when shit starts getting fucking real bad, that's what you lean on.

That's how you fucking survive a lot of this shit. Every comic you know, there's always like one story where like, fuck, you went through that. But it reminds me, you know what it made me feel as you remind me that the reason why our chicks love us is because of that. Yeah she probably that the best laugh she's had in God knows how long he he brought that to her. Right. And laughter helps you fucking feel better. There's no denying that. Fuck yeah. When I was a kid my mother said to me that everyone goes through shit and it's how you handle it that defines you. Right. And that right there showing how he takes shit and makes something good out of it right yeah Brian doesn't believe Brian doesn't believe shit

no I was good I was good as a joke that wasn't worth it I don't like that I don't like that but we're still it was still enemies you can't but I want to make up it's work out this is almost like a piece of wood. This is like a wood. We should get to...

You can do fabulous mittlers. They have them wear one each. This is like the Baltimore riots when the crutch, the bloods, came together. We have to have to so long to get through this. We have classic rock and metal rock. I love Brian so much. We have classic rock and metal rock Brian so much I just watch him struggle with not liking him

I want to move on It was weird Can we draw Like a dance set it with my own okay dancing Rob said away I would have expected it I didn't even fucking no because I know you I'm not even I'm not even I'm not even You know I'm the bad joke shit I'm not in the beginning I was just quiet I was just quiet

I was just I was just I was just I was just I was just I was just I was just I was just

I was just I was just I was just I was just I was just I was just You guys are pushing it You know when you have to give yourself pep talks, I'm gonna be more assertive. I'm gonna be more honest I'm gonna look at the mirror and be like be Brian's True and you're smart enough to smiley myself But you like fucking honest thing I go out of the fucking side profile for Christ I told you I don't like the fuck right there. That's really shot at me. I have a deep hope sorry Bobby Cock-sucking deep who has a side literally my fat my legs Going up the side I think he does the the fucking lighting to show more fat than there is

I think he does the fucking lighting to show more fat than there is What are you for name? I look over at the motor. I'm who the fuck is that fat fuck? It's me. Where is that camera? No more side camera you let Louis shoot you from the side You're not anything like Louis That's true. My show is not successful as that if this show had that many viewers I like I do this naked Louis actually I invited him to the barbecue right and I of course I wasn't expecting I know you wouldn't come I mean I just can't I'm just I can't picture him go because of the family did you have did you tell me had top loaded Frank Buns top loaded was it okay we're all nervous now that someone's

gonna tax on the bad joke I really I want that to move on no he he texted me and said I'm sorry I couldn't make it I was out of my island and I said no it was a good time and I sent them a video there was a video of Here more than maybe of Colin Quinn playing cornhole throwing the thing and literally making the shot Here comes the son with that song playing and then I had a video of Norton going it's just pouring raining out I read his under the fucking gazebo which is similar to a tent I And he goes Bob's party is what? God damn it made me laugh.

Yeah, I put it two together. He goes, Bob's party's bumming everyone out. Yeah. And it's fucking made me laugh. I was in the airport and I was like, God bless Jim Norton. That really fucking made me laugh. Because at first I was like, OK, it's Cornhole. I get it.

And then it's just him upset. And there's a brain put it down from a fucking circus tent. And he's like, okay, it's Cornwall, I get it, and then it's just him upset and just rain put down from a fucking circus tent. And he's like, bobs with parties upset. And every, it's like, Jim's sour puss face. I was, Jim really does look like a fucking baby snake that just brought out a broke out of an egg. Oh, god damn, yeah, that.

So, yeah, it was, but he, yeah, he was like, yeah, I said that, it was cool to, at least he responded, which was nice. Amy couldn't come, she was like now I said that it was cool to at least he responded which was nice Amy couldn't come she was too busy winning a Peabody award Peabody I believe right now people are people's choice from else to do it's fucking amazing She's got a movie coming out. You know fucking hard that is for anybody to do now Yeah, well not a movie coming up. She hasn't movie coming out with jet apatop. Yeah, she got a summer Well, not a movie coming up. She hasn't movie coming up with jet appa top. Yeah, she got a summer. It's fucking amazing It's absolutely Oh the movie I heard is gonna be insane everyone I've talked to the scene. It's like it's fucking hilarious

Yeah, she's she's and the show this year Amy show this year funny It's so was so fucking, but it was I don't know it was so Pointing and I know it dealt with all women's issues and it dealt with her, you know, fat issues, all this, but it was really well, I would say, parceled out, you know, it wasn't too heavy on either. It was so funny too, you know what I mean? This was the funniest season. I think it was the funniest season ever. One of the funniest seasons of any show I've watched in a long time. Well, I think the good thing is, yeah, there is a point to it, but you don't feel like the point's being shoved on you. That's what I was trying to say, and I was hoping someone would cut me off. But apparently, you guys...

I'll come in and clear their cleanness. I'll do punch up on your fucking ass, but as you said, let us be go over each other. I know. And that's what to do, so well, one of us. I said the word parcel. Yeah. Unless we're gonna do so, well, that's one of us. I said the word parcel. The way it was puzzled and... I was busy googling parcel, I couldn't help ya.

The way it was smorgasborded together. I was like, oh, shit. I was fucking stammering. This parcel mean what I don't think. Dude, you sounded like a guy in court trying to defend himself. You're like, well, the apparatus was used in crack. I would like to defend myself. You're on I'm guilty The season was great. The season was great I really and she won a bunch of awards and yes

She is to be massive. Yeah, I think so too. It's the time of the rock star comedian right now. You know, I think around eight years ago, even for all, I think of all of comedy, there's always been one or two guys at the same time, maybe one, never really two. But now there's around four or five guys and and now I think Amy's gonna be one of those people who was just selling the fucking arena. Look how many people have done I mean Madison Square Garden if you were able to sell I mean it's incredible to sell out Madison Square Garden. There was a guy named Carlisle.

Like Carlisle. Like Carlisle. Dice and then rock. Did Carlisle and then what's the most he must see Martin? Yeah first city Carlis sell it out too. Well, but yeah, but I'm saying like in this year alone, no, it's not on that. It's been Louis, Aziz,

Gaffigan, like Little Kev, Bill Burr was there. I mean, it's like, you're right. There are like, there's like ten people that are fucking really. I mean, rock stars. I mean comedy, comics are becoming rock stars. I mean, we're talking you can't get a single guy to sell out the fucking to do a tour Like Louis did or a Z's did a Russell Peters did oh, yeah, there's a the most bands can't fucking sell that many tickets Not anymore anymore birded what 19 shows at the Wilbur. Yeah, well, that's one arena show

But that's still like that's insane to go that mean. That means fucking that. I mean, he's what that shows you is that burger sell out an arena. Yeah, he could have just done one show or maybe two at the garden. If you want to. I think social media podcasting all that made that big difference because you're now constantly in front of people that you probably wouldn't be in front of before. You have such a fucking great voice. Thank you. Wow, it's just soothing. Yeah.

And not for him though, it'd be great on him, like you wouldn't believe it. No, it's not for him. Who's slightly a feminine person. Oh, I feel like we haven't learned anything. We learned something. Not to fuck with Ryan Scalow. I'll tell you this. Fuck it.

Jesus Christ. I'm never fucking out of this podcast. I'm walking out of this podcast. I'll tell you this Fuck it Jesus Christ I'm never fucking out of this podcast like that bad ass motherfucker I'm not fucking with him I'm telling you Brian Brian fuck too I used to like this so much I like it

I like it It's funny how it didn't bother me at all I know I'm playing I'm playing No but it's just fun because I love Brian I love Brian like I watch Brian do stand up He always makes me laugh He's such a nice guy and just to see him just ripping out of Star no

First of all, I don't like following you're fucking too strong I came back. I don't need you to lie No, I came back I haven't seen Dante since the beginning when he was starting Then the scene then the scene performance, damn, you're like, he's bad. Definitely. He was incredible. He's better. I could get this. I know, just two big dogs are just I To shake I was our how's your quads? Skipping better. How they get better and you helped me I wanted to say I called you up to say thanks because you shouted me on on the fucking podcast a couple days ago Yeah, and I texted me when I texted you yes, sir and and you you made me made me I don't know who's here, but I made me

Kind of do that thing where you said to release things or release anger And so now I don't care. I don't care that will steal jokes. It doesn't bother me at all No, I just want to say I'm over it. It's fine that he just steals jokes And I'm okay with it and I'm okay with it because of you. Who are we talking about? I don't know. Why is my show TMZ all this? I just want to say, you're like Harvey Levine.

You will help me. Should I hold this? I'm trying. I'm trying to say how you helped me. You helped me get past it. You got to don't know. Hang on, go ahead. No matter what, somebody steals from somebody else. I'm fine with it. All right guy

What do you need to don king this you need to turn it into a major mega episode? Yeah, you know what you do We could open as I will be nowhere near there because I'm sackless. I'm gonna get loose J and the two girls. Hey, what's in it? I'm gonna get loose J and any girl. No, but get those two girls. I'm gonna show the Rosering Cafe. Oh man, but if you could build up, I'm telling you,

you could be the next Don King, the super podcast. I'm just waiting for you to do good on a king. I'm not going to. Why? Because I'm so excited about this business all. Listen man, I'm just getting real late. The merchandising sales alone. I'm gonna get t-shirts made.

I love will, I love will. Okay, listen to me, let me finish. I don't fucking care whether you love him. He's a thief. Now can you hear the stuff? Now can you hear him now? Now I hear it. Now you know what's funny is that I up until that moment. I think that's the worst impression ever I know it's right in the pocket. I don't care you love him. I don't care if you love me

He's a thief. He does the one thing you can do as a comic listen. Here's a thing Go on Brian jump in here. I know how you feel about it. I've never seen will I've never seen anything I don't have the evidence to actually sit here and go right. Oh, God. And I don't know. This is great because it's like a black guy talking to three cops, like listen,

but I didn't see nothing he did. Fuck, I have you. Here's what I'm saying. It's the rest of the point. And you don't have the evidence, but when he came on, not one steady, the ditty deny it. Not one. We didn't talk about it.

If I came up up I heard I was listening you said what about the stealing it's like if I go hey I don't you fuck kids the first thing you go as well I don't know why kids well that's a good one that's a good one that's a good one

the first thing you do is deny it okay hang on all right all right all right we get it stop preaching this isn't the Bayes fucking cop show Listen, or whatever the fucking name of your show is No, I'm gonna look at the Bay's fucking cop show Listen to me, don't This is rolled right off the tongue

Somebody just fucking bought that Listen, Dante, well I will have you on the show with Will He'll never, it'll never have He'll come on He'll, he won't I'm gonna put you in another room Oh, that's what you're gonna have to do that You're he won't. I'm gonna put you in another room, but I would have to do that. You're gonna have to fucking draw off.

I'm gonna put you behind Plexi Glass. Have you run into it and smash it, which is the only joke that he ever wrote. What? I feel like we're gonna say, and this is gonna sound weird compared to what we were talking about before, but it has to do with it.

That I, I think the reason why I react to Soberli and has to go with stuff like this is I hate when comics attack each other publicly. I don't like it. It's feel like if we're all here and we know each other it's fine or at the table downstairs, but it's like even if you I've never seen him

steal a joke, but it's like I can imagine if I heard that conversation about me on a podcast, I'd be back to the mall. There's a mob code we have. There's a little mob mentality as comics where it's like, okay, I'm somewhere, they're trashin' their comic that I know, and if I don't, I'm not gonna fucking sit there and get into that.

Yeah. Even when you don't like the guy, there's still, look, we don't do that. But I am the same. You know what I mean? But I get what you're saying good for you, but unless Will's here or Defel himself, I can't sit here and say fuck, I don't expect you to, I don't expect you to say fuck Will's illness,

you don't know it, it's not, it's not. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but I'm also not the comment, I don't like to be, I don't have time in my life really, to be the comedy cops, where I gotta go and investigate. I'm not, you know what I know, I know too right off to for sure that's deal to for sure really, but I'm not going to say on a microphone. You say right now. I'll say when the show

Wednesday, guys, yeah, but I don't want to I don't want to be part of someone like I don't want to be a part of someone's career getting taken. He's a problem. What I have with it is, is if you continuously do it, you've been spoken to. and we're not talking about a premise when I like when people always talk about the you know Dan could Luis it's a you're not talking about parallel thing no I'm talking about saying it and stealing it for baby and then doing it over and over again several people doing it, and you seeing something else and stealing it and again, and just constantly doing this.

We're not talking, we're talking about straight theft. Right, I bet. That's with theft with an F or FT. I don't really spell well. Okay. So theft, theft, theft, theft on the roof so that's That's so and I don't call people out. That's not what I call I call somebody out I'm ready. I'm ready to fucking whatever whatever the fuck do you want to do

Let me see a question. It's playing devil's advocate for a second because I'm the only non-comic here So my question is what if it's something subconscious? It's not subconscious So about here, but you're saying I've been talking about years of this going on consistently verbatim over and over where I've had, because I've said something out loud, other comics have come and say, I know what's that got, I know what's that got. Please, I'm the only noncomic here.

Brian pointed it, he goes, Chris. I don't know, I don't know. It was like, I saw Scobo on stage last night, so. Chris is a stand up and so is a deep book. Okay, and I'm both sorry. I didn't know. I'm like, I don't know. It was like, I saw Scopo on stage last night. This is a stand up, and so is a deep book. Okay. And I'm both dead. I didn't know that. I asked Chris for his name on the stage.

He got, it looked so mad. Yeah, I didn't know that one. Oh, that's his face. Yeah, that's his face. I'm just saying, because I've worked with musicians on the show where they've kind of been blamed for stealing a song from another band. And it's something that happened years ago. I'm talking about this is so,

where it's just like, listen, I gotta, listen. And people have come to me and said, yeah, right. All right. Well, thanks, Dade, Dade, we've already went over. All right, you're fucking repeating yourself on my show. You've only been on twice.

You're saying the same exact shit two times. I'm gonna give a pause right now because I have to, because I have to read this. And then we'll jump right back. I'm not gonna take a break today. You guys mind? Can we just go straight through? I have to because I have to read this and then we'll jump right back I'm not gonna take a break today you guys mine You wouldn't believe though. Can I do while you're doing that? Yeah, please go. We're gonna do a read We're not gonna take a break. We're just gonna go right into it. Okay, you cool with that deep. Yeah, you got it All right, great. Every in the chat room. I hope you okay with that

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Leave a comment in the episode. And we got a bunch of new subscribers. Yeah, we did. We actually pushed more minutes to non-subscribers and subscribers, so I think this was a nice incentive to get them to just hit that button. Hit that button, that's what we need you to do. That's it, just click the button, subscribe,

it's not a big deal. You'll get a notice when we're doing live shows and you can come back and watch us at your leisure. A lot. I've made some upgrades to the channel, made some playlists for people to enjoy. Playlists with guest hosts, special episodes, some classics, so you should check it out.

Check out this amazing podcast on the amazing YouTube while it lasts And no, but make sure you check it out and subscribe It's and then the episodes. I mean we're going into thousands of views on these things now Yeah, we're at like 13 Not 30. Yeah, 300 by for this week's episode today already so it's going great. I'll be water scupper Let's go to the chat room real quick and see what's going on in there. Yeah, sure. Can you one second?

Our agreed says cool Dante is here. I hope we get some will's dolphins bashing again. Dreams come true. Here at the YKWD. Mookie Phillips says Brian doesn't take shit unless it's been baked and caramelized wow that is so hilarious dude you fat fuck what a fat fuck i don't like that you he called you a fat fuck and he's fat

is he fat? i'm just saying if he's sitting in front of the computer chances are he's gonna be fat soon i'm out there doing some of my life and you're sitting in a fucking computer listening to me so fuck you you fat fuck No, no, no, please do that though What are you doing? You can't do that. What are you talking about you can't do that in here? You really yeah, you okay? Do you have no no, no, no, I can't it's just a law around I've been told not to do that. Okay, Brian Scalato has slowly become my spirit. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait you were fighting me on the second hand on i'm gonna be part of my fellow guest and listeners hang on and he did it he did it i'm gonna tell you something

i'm gonna tell you something it's called the deep-punch at what's in i'm gonna tell you something let me finish there's a deep-punch at which he goes in and just in scavenges what he thinks funny and then there's a bobby chat which is i just read the latest ones and let them be funny or not right so this is a depot chat. He did it. He did it. It's also where the guy thinks that I eat fried shit.

And then they like it that doesn't even make you, there wasn't one the logically put together. I think it's stupid. Not only when people do that either. Go ahead, what's the next one? And if it's a fucking brown scar one, then you skip it completely. Ah.

Ah. People just look at people's nervous. People just look around. People just got round for off the off the off the off the offoff-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off-the-off- Stop stop stop what else you got you fucking bombing today. Yeah, usually killing it. What's up? Stephen Gonzalez says I had to adjust my screen ratio from letterbox to lunchbox It's a bunch of fat jokes I'm so fucking fighting Sorry

This camera Sorry Camera Chatchock camera is there not a camera get all three of us I'm good man. I listen to I love him too. Look go to the Bobby chat. What do we got the Bobby chat? Good move Lewis Shagom is says deep who is a faggot i think luis go miss is a comic well

you know the luis go miss i would say i would say a comic slash pamphlet hander slash podcas here slash mma fighter slas real i did slas fucking you know i am? no he's best friend to them.

That's why he had a cover for him. I was trying to get a real out of him going and I had nothing. I said fucking panhandler or something. Anyone know what I said? This fucking pamphlet hand. Hamphlet hand. Which I didn't disagree with.

No, Lewis is a good guy. He's a great dad too. Yeah. Just didn't say the common. He said dad. Yeah, that's like, man, that tone was like the way my mom used to talk about my dad where she's like, he's a good dad too. I think Louis X, wife tone.

I think he's a great dad. He's a good dad. I was with him from Memorial Day. Nobody asked you. That's true. No, I'm kidding. No, he is. He's a beautiful dad.

Yeah. I really do. I like the fact because he could be a shitty dad. Yeah. He's a shitty friend. Yeah. He's a shitty friend. Yeah. You know what I mean? He's not a shitty friend. He's just a very difficult friend to deal with. He's got a wild edge to it. I really love that. What is a shitty friend? What is it? What is it? What is it? It's not a shitty friend. He just doesn't listen to you. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. He talked about something. He raised it to himself. Yes

Trying to teach you things back that you taught him But he brings you a coffee if he's getting one I don't think I need to vouch for him anymore I wish I was his son he'd be nicer to me Is that it what else we got only best young people that aren't here now yeah, well that's same in the regular chat uh... lucia go miss has never met stavros it was not can you read the only uh... losses in the stop read

lucia go miss has thanks for talking to somebody else the only one has to do with that jokes actually block louis from the chat i walk him from the chat block him. I lock him from the chat Right now hit block you gone. I really you really should have been a World War one general I like him coming in there to have fucking taking over my chat room He's literally just do the podcast you fucking greasy spoon Like a great that's a great epith like racial epitaph that I've never heard before That is not racial that means he's got on the subway. There was a bunch of greasy spoons

You guys I wouldn't go up there. I wouldn't go around that neighborhood after ten There's a lot of greasy. I really block him did you? Oh, no, okay, what block him? You do what you fucking call block him rather than it's against protocol for that that that's it uh... i'm gonna i want to talk to you for a second about some rock and roll shit

now we are you in a band or no not a band i've never in a band never in a band and okay how did you how did you come across why you so into music what happened well since i was a kid i was a nightclub promoter, and I was running all the big rock clubs here in New York. Like what? Like Lime Light, Lamore, Danceteria was called Rocketeria for a while.

All those clubs, I was running them as a rock promoter. You ran them. I was one of the promoters. Yeah, I mean, it was like solo me, but I was one of them and stayed in that business for years and built up relationships with a lot of bands. And about 10 years ago, relationships with a lot of bands. And about 10 years ago, I started a rock radio show and Cole the tour bus were syndicated

nationally, we're on about 50 stations around the country, and it's all rock and roll base, whether it's 70s to today, just what I consider cool rock. I like to play like that. Did you play yesterday, today, and tomorrow, classic rock music? We do, that was always the thing. We do, yesterday, today. We're listening to today, tomorrow, and rock. We do, that was always the thing. We do, yesterday, tomorrow. And a little bit of, yeah. Yeah, I know that.

We do. That's like the classic, classic rock. That's one of my favorite voices you do. You're listening to WQLF. Yeah, I work in Kansas City's only in Rock and Roll station. I love that shit. This is the mad dog sitting with the Chirpy Chirp.

Do you know when you work in radio, you do take out you get a real pride for doing radio well Dude I worked with this guy. He gives us all radio names right now. Well, you are radio. You be you be the you be dozer You're listening to dozer since an ad he's most dangerous morning DJ What about that? Those are in the gooch. Yeah, that's what it is. I don't know. I'm not gonna do right now, thanks for everybody. That was just, yeah. Well, here called, deny.

But then, big J and I, I, Way to keep the fun going, get yourself a team. I don't, Joe DeRosa told me not to devise it. Shit, the fuck up man. Jesus, I'm sad about that. For six years, I host Shiprock. Who the fucking asshole?

Which is a rock I'm out of here! Get the fight with me! Get the fight with me! You're just public! I made fun of it and you're gonna be the guy! You fucking fucking broke it out of here! Get the fight! It should be two hours of just that. Kids, kids. Anyway, you should be part of it.

Bobby and I should open a restaurant. We'll just do that in the kitchen. So one of the things they do is host a rock cruise called Shiprock for the last six hundred years. I've heard about it. And we sold out already for January of next year, which is crazy. It's crazy. We needed a rock comedian, and I knew Jay.

So I asked Jay if he would do it. And after the second year, we became friendly. Right. I mean, we knew each other already, but then we started hanging out more. And he suggested we do a podcast together. Have you ever, I want to say knew each other already, but then we started like hanging out more and he suggested we do a podcast together Have you ever I want to say have you ever in Lewis? Have you ever lied in a bed naked with Jay with your penis? No, I have not Lewis

I just had to listen because he's done that Lewis is done that yeah And I had this idea for a show forever called the sex drugs and rock and roll show where for we were gonna do a Morning show on radio is called that where I was gonna go out at night and at six in the morning go to the studio and tape a morning show that was the idea right it got kaboshed after we were about to do it and then when he said we need an idea for show I said let's do this I have the graphics I have the URL right let's just start right and now we just finished a year where we do it on all things

comedy okay and we just for me we had 100,000 listeners. That's great. We're, we hit number one in iTunes comedy in March. That's great. And it's just on comedy. On iTunes comedy. We're number one in March. That's great.

We're always in like the top 30 or 40 now. And it's just, to me, it's amazing. I wonder, I wonder, now you're doing a show with him too, right? Serious XM. Serious XM, yeah. Okay, and then he does a show with Lewis. Yeah, I wonder which one he's going to leave first. Probably mine.

That sounds the most successful. Yeah, you're just got the numbers. Yeah, we have numbers. We've got minds. R's is just even in theory. It's just like, well, he's got a contract now, but I mean, right. Yeah, I can't believe the response it's gotten because Jay's very partial. Jay, he's very partial now.

And Ralph, Ralph, you're a PR person, is Laney, right? Yeah, Laney's a PR person person Laney does a lot of porn stars Last I Jay put his finger in a porn starts asshole we tried to get a 12 inch dildo when our ass did not work out Well, no, she was edgy 10 years ago No one's really doing it now, but who wants to 100,000 people apparently oh god, I'm gonna I have a fucking two-year-old. I don't want my fucking kid to see me put something in somebody's ass. Yeah, I think I think as I'm seeing Jates tonight, I'm

not going to shake his hand. No, he had mittens on. You went up right to the fingerless love. That's your stuff. Don't shake his hand. The fingers are still out though. I don't I don't understand that though. I think I'm getting stuff. Well, I don't use what would just why would just stick your finger in a putter. I get though. I think I'm getting... Well I don't use... Why would you stick your finger in a... I get it, I get it, but it's just like that shit was funny to me 10 years ago. But you know what, I look at it as it is the lowest common denominator,

and it is something that every most 25 to 40-year-olds are going to enjoy. I'll tell you this. I'm gonna look up to see who's on the chef, because I want to know how Jay's second finger is. And like, you know, you did the show. What castle? It's, uh, we've had girls, you know, feet, we've, you know, we're, we're just taking

fingers to check the asshole. I get so much trouble with my girlfriend in no way. You wouldn't do it. I was. Yeah. I'd have Jay do it. I'd sit in the room and laugh about it. I wouldn't do it.

I do it. I do. We know you. You're an actual pimp. Yeah. All right. Sorry. Are you sure? con volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Huelades de madrida murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea Parifa sujeta a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com after he would write a giggle first I Don't know

Watch it before he get food in our ass. I get barbecue Hey, they have some type of fucking We also have rock bands on we've had bands perform live You know we do live shows every night on the boat I don't mean to trash. I'm not trashing. I think that's a great idea I understand I understand the cut like what I went on ONA for the first time. They had a whistleball bat upper chicks vagina. They used to have the whip roll back challenge. Yeah, I remember that and it was like I was still all the time on ONA. I mean it was a big fan back then. I was like fucking

I remember what doing it and I was like I used to leave ONA. Lock on what the fuck did I do? I mean before I Like it was in the moment you like yeah, like whoa. There's a wiffable and then you hear you here pull that piece of plastic out of a Puss and Come back in like a week later the wiffle ball bets like green Busy down The point of pussy down. Did they color that with yellow seven? Feeling sick inside. And I get scared now, tell you why. I get scared now is that I have a kid,

and I know this shit's being recorded. Right. It's in a different time. And here, the thing is, I don't want my kid to be in school fucking with, hey, is this your dad? But then you have a cook bottle in your ass on a... That was a movie. I mean, a television show.

I mean, like, yeah, nothing. That's the, that's the, that's the, that's the fear. Huge difference between you and me. I agree with you. I agree with you. But you know how, I agree with you.

But you know how some people really, it's like, with we're on a radio show, it's part of our persona and nothing anything. Yeah, he's talking about comedic K-Fape. Like, they think that's gonna be like, you know, like the way wrestlers, like, like, if my if my kid saw that of course look at everything I've done because I'm a big dude has had my shirt off for I had something in my ass Yeah, you know everything I would have loved to see that to pilot with you as the cop

Yeah, the wrong words Because I'm sensitive so I wasn't gonna read for that. And you fucking, that's great. Yeah, I would love to see what you did. It was hilarious, it was great. It was great pilot, but it's funny because when they got my vest, it didn't, they, they, wardrobe never, ever fucking gets it. Like how fat you really are.

You literally, they'll get you like some, I'll be like, I'm a double XL, and they'll show up with like a double XL from like fucking Denmark. And it's like not that. Yeah, it's like fitted double XL that they wash nine times. It's a European show. I always bring my own shit when I'm on a shoot.

Well, I'm talking about when you shoot like a real show, you don't have to bring your own shit. Yeah, so like NBC's not a real show. Like I was, oh. Oh, blacklisted. Bobby Blacklisted. NBC's not a real show Bobby's gonna wind up in a boat I Was kid I know But I will fight and they're fighting

Things in the mega worst conflict I you're on all things comedy Yes, I'm on that too. You are like, I think the number one rated show besides Stan Hoops. Is it, you know, it's funny is that I knew shit about podcasting your goats all I built the website taught myself everything is such OCD. Right.

And I just kind of like I have stickers on me all the time. I was on jury duty. I signed 20 people up to the podcast. All on jury duty. Yeah, well I'm sitting there. I'm just totally out of it too. Did you let the judge listen? Hey, that's all. Like sir, sir can you please leave the holding room?

I can't compete with Mark Marins and Adam Corolla's through popularity, but now that's how we do it. We have 1,500 reviews because I'm literally, I'll take people's phones out of their hands and subscribe them and write a review Wait, you tell fucking Lewis Jay Gomez to that because he's been doing that I did I did yeah, I mean It makes it you stop giving up talk Ralph Scott Ralph Scott that fucking slick promoter way of doing it

We're like talk to you. He's like yeah, you probably like that. Lewis just does the cave man like, talk to you and he's like, yeah, you probably like this. Louis just does the cave man thing. He was like, hey, come here. Get the thing. Hold on. Hold your phone. All right. Now you download it every week.

You better fucking say something. I'm only 85. Yeah, I know. Just your pussy. Your pussy's gonna get wet when you listen to Legion of Skates. Oh, well, this might be. No, I'm telling you right now. And you better fucking comment, or I'm gonna arm bar you.

I just asked if you wanted a piece of cheese. Yeah, okay. I mean, isn't it nicer that you build your fan base from this grassroots because they're real fans of what you do as opposed to, I mean, like this show is grassroots. It's people building the numbers from very beginning. I mean, not that Bobby's not famous. Yeah, but it's a big name. I'm not a big name

Yeah, Bobby Bob this podcast is made exposed Bobby to a lot of people. He's also five years old You know, he started 2010. I know what he's saying is in here like even on Twitter I know people that will go buy Twitter people. I know people that will promote Twitter or Facebook blah blah You know you my by Twitter people, I know people that will promote Twitter or Facebook blah, blah, blah. You know, you, you know, your likes, my likes are my Twitter followers are the ones that I got. I could have got more if I did things differently. Even this podcast, I think that I probably could have got more

if I, you know, maybe come to quarters or whatever. I ain't a same, same, but I saying, but I do get what he's doing and I, if I wasn't as lazy or I think prideful, and I don't mean to say you don't have pride, I'm just saying, I think sometimes that can get in your way of promoting, I'll give you an example. After the show, selling t-shirts and CDs, you know, but trees would never fucking do that.

I would never do that. But if you see Norton out, he'll have fucking two books and everything and Kenny going, Bios, Davy, Day, Voss will fucking do it. I know certain guys that won't do it. I'm kind of in the middle where I'm like, I don't wanna be sitting there, shilling shit, but I'll sell some stuff.

And you know what I mean? Like I could get a bunch of t-shirts and a bunch of all my CDs and even I don't know what's funny. What's interesting is that you've never been that guy who's been like super marketing promoting. Right. But the fans that follow you, they're diehard fans and they really want your stuff. It's not like you're pushing the show on them.

It's like they want the difference also though that is right now the marketplace because the barrier to entry is so fucking low. Any schmuck with a phone can have a podcast that if you're not famous and don't have an ability to get your word out at a higher level, you have to do the grassroots. I'm not saying you're not doing the grass. When I was I was actually complimenting you because I was saying that it's not a fight. I'm saying you're not doing the grass when I was I was actually compliment you because I was saying that You're not a Billy burger People gonna listen to you because so you whatever you you know the success that you have is a grassroots I was oh, it's a small it's a it's a gradual grassroots and the people who are fans And he show are fans of his show because they really like show not because of who you were like for the I was hosting a a rock festival in

Maryland a couple weeks ago like 20,000 people No, no problem on stage of my look before I even say anything do yourself a favor right now Please help me out take out your phone subscribe to the show. I think that's smart You know, and I don't think it's I don't think what I think that's smart. You know, and I think that's a lot. I don't think that's, I don't think that's, I mean, the only thing, I don't think you should tell Lewis these things, but I think, but before every show, when he's middleing for me, how you doing?

How you doing? I want you to do something right now. Take your phones out. Take your phones out. Put them on there. But if you're subscribed to RealSqueed, HammerFishDing, Luzanna's Gangs. And do you guys order pass out pens, like it's the PSATs.

We're gonna pass out pens in a small piece of paper, write down all my podcasts. But if there is, there is. There is. I mean, there is out of the room, and let's see you subscribe. But there is a certain muscle that certain comics have, that have that ability to go stand at the door and go, hey, thanks for coming out.

Hey, thanks for, and it's like, I don't mind that. Listen, I usually, there's always one part of my set where I just fuck it, I'm like, when I'm done, I just wanna go sit in the green room because I'm like, ah, fuck, they hate me, no one wants to, you know, and then you, because there really is,

it's just insecurity, I wanna go sit in the room with like the feature and be like, that was all right, was that okay? Can I say something though, instinctually, as a comedian, we wanna just go do our show and that's what you get. That's it, that's what you get. You come, you don't get fucking anything before,

you come, I make you laugh for an hour or 11 long, and then that's it, that's all you get. That's also because of so much you put up with social media, okay, with things have changed with the internet and the way we had to adapt in the last fucking 20 years, but really in the last 10, I mean, it's just nuts. I mean, when I was coming up, you had to have a flyer

that they would fill out and you'd go collect them and then put their emails in yourself. I was against Twitter for so long because I just found it annoying. But then about a year ago, I said, I'm going to do the show right. I have to embrace it. So I just started to get into that mindset of always promoting. I'll even on their stupid Reddit,

I'll put out a link that says, look, if you want me on your show, I don't care the size of your show, I don't care if it's a new show. I'll give you 20 minutes, a half hour and do an interview interview I've done so many of them for shows that their first episode It doesn't matter to me because I just want to get the show to a point where we're always in the top 10 But when you talk about comics, I think as comics when you get on stage and you give people an hour You give so much of yourself that when it's done you like right, but even

That when it's done you like right but even Oh, I like so I've seen so many of you guys that you should at the end of your set by the way my show is And they don't do it and people don't do that you know one percent of them might and that will make it right There's also extenuating circumstances like it's hard you could be like I know for a fact This happened to me in Rochester the late Sean Saturday there weren't a lot of people maybe 40 people I'm fucking embarrassed by that. I'm'm on stage Yeah, but you're like you know you're on stage like I fucking 40 people in a room that holds 200 You feel like a dips you can I say something though? There is there's something to be said that because if you get five of those people that's five more people I know and at the end I get it

But here's the thing at the end of a show when you give them a show I don't care if it's 40 people or fucking 500 people. And you say thank you, that's all my time, good night. You want that to be the end. Any great fucking performance you've ever saw, you never saw Frank Sinatra come. And by the way, I'm Frankie Blue Eyes. I'm Harris Go. I'm Mary on Paris Go.

It didn't exist then, so you're not a fairer. You still wouldn't do it. You wouldn't do it. Yeah, they would do it. I disagree. But you have what you call YouTube stars, that they're telling us to do. Name one band that does it. What?

Name one band, fucking crazy rocker-roll band. At the end of their fucking holy shitness goes, follow us on Twitter. They probably do it now. They're doing it now. Like as far as like, maybe not on stage. Oh wow. Wow the fuck up. It's only bands ideal

Two fat guys are going. Oh my god Don't I was gonna say don't call Brian fat. I'll take it from him. Okay, not from him or Some guy who's personal I tell you I was on stage with the band not that long ago You're gonna make fun of the band, but I love the guys striper close enough jackal and he started a Bourbon company and he came out with his bourbon and he said by the way, I have a new bourbon now and we did a shot together That's very Sammy Hagar. It's the same thing, but it's embarrassing No, when I say me when I say me good hot chicks coming out with fucking cobble. It's like fuck you Yeah, my favorite my favorite band of all time my favorite band is Queens of the Stone Age

If they came out and they're like follow us on Twitter. I beg well Yeah, there goes that yeah, but also there's a difference when if I get to the point where I saw Lady Gaga come out with a vodka I'd be upset but if when you're at a point at that level Cuz you're lady guy When you're a superstar you don't have to do it anymore. But I, she's, but here's the thing, Queen's of the Sonage could do that. Cause they're not, they sell out. They sell out. They're not massively huge, but they have a good fan base.

They have a fan base, it's like, Listen, there is a fine line. I think you're being very honest and upfront because you're saying, I'm not this guy. Right. So I need to do it. And you'll be, you you're becoming that guy. You and Jay Scho are becoming very successful.

I learned a little from what you're doing. I've been doing, remember, like how, can you please take that watch off? I can't stop looking at it. It's so big. That's too giant, right? That's how the arm gets so big. Just lifting that watch.

Put that on your cock. It's like a King's crown, buddy. Fucking Darth Vader's coming out. We used to sit outside. We'd sit outside. That that on your cock. It's like a Kings Crown that he fucking, Darth Vader's humming those things. We used to sit outside. We'd sit outside, this pretty fucking good. Kings Crown? Yeah. Yeah.

We used to sit outside and we'd shit on each other. Like when comics would come, when young comics, Ham and New comic here, here's my card and we'd rip it up and throw it on the floor. And now it's easy selling out for it. Exactly. No, it's true. It's exactly what it, but we came under that thing where We'd rip it up and throw it on the floor and all these are selling out It's true. That's exactly what it but we came under that thing where be funny and everything will

It is the truth it is the truth it is the truth Longer when there's so many people out there you have to really work and if you're a brand new comic right now. Louis Louis deleted Twitter Well, it's different. He's a different level, but he but he hasn't always been well Ralph I'm gonna say to you. I understand what you're saying that as a new comic you have to do that But I think what we're trying to say is scobbles ass scobbles ass scobbles. It's so so round It's so firm, but I think as a comic People are forgetting you need to take the fucking time to get good So that when you can see you if you're doing that shit too quick

Yeah And then someone goes and yeah Doesn't matter. Dan is saying though is right you need to stop doing it until you show it These YouTube stars guys with 900,000 views and stuff like that but it does it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it's so nice. Thank you, dude. Thank you guys. And they call them these YouTube stars, guys with 900,000 views and stuff like that. They, I'm sorry. I just looked at you a little tiny fingers.

I'm a little finger. Yeah, look at this little thing. I love that fucking ring though. Thank you guys. I'm sorry, go ahead. We used to fucking do Queen stop complimenting this jewelry. Dude, I love that skull and you're a mucle. It's lovely, wouldn't you?

But you'll get a guy who's a YouTube star, where even that concept is ridiculous, because to you, how many people would watch that if they had to pay tens, how many cat videos would you watch? If you had to pay tens of them, make money. But yes, but you, but it's just, But here's the deal, also,

you gotta understand that they're infringing on our world now right because people who do YouTube videos go Oh, I'll just do it's the same way when failed actors are like a former child stars like I'm gonna do stand up Fuck you you didn't put in the time Right, you don't fucking sell it out. You saw the same respect. Go suck at what you do Yeah, there's musicians who don't do it learn any music at all they just get fucking garage band You can put out a song. And it could be a hit, it's happened. Listen, and there's people that sell out,

that sell way more tickets than me. But it's just mad in the reality. But it's not like nobody's saying that you are not, no, I'm not true. We're not saying you're not right. It's just the fucked up situation. Right, but I'm gonna say that if you don't embrace it. You know who Tereo is?

No. That little fat kid that he is. Hey, hey, hey. No, he's the little Tereo. He's the waiter at Dangerfields. Oh no, I'm sorry. There's a little fat kid that is. Hey, no, he's the little Terry's the waiter at Dangerfields. Oh, no, I'm sorry. There's a little fat kid. He's eight years old.

And he took, yeah, he like, get him. Kill him. And he just dances. And what you call I was talking to Shalame, who does radio on 105. And he goes, he says, you know, life I wanted I wanted to do late night TV Mm-hmm, and I do late I finally get popular enough that I'm doing late here And I'm sitting next to Tario the YouTube Well, do you know your old kid who just goes that's the world we live in that said anyone here know who puti pie is or no

Yeah, okay, I know because of South Park I said he has I think 14 million subscribers on YouTube. Yeah, he's making $3 million a year. Right. And all he does is comment on people playing video games. Okay, and here's my argument against that, when he's dead, which we all will be, that's his body of war.

Which is fucking confusing. Confusing two things though. One is that you're actually a respectable comedian. That's all I care about. Right, which is not talking to you. I'm saying we're bad. If you want to get to a point where people are turning into you, just because you've built a following,

I think these days you have to embrace those. No, you're absolutely right. You're absolutely right. Hey, you're right. I don't think we're saying you're wrong. I just think we're pissed off. I know, I'm a certain man. No, but I think that was for you, dog. No, listen, bro.

I think you're absolutely right. There is a point, and there is a point where you can shut that off. Right, no, when you get to, when you get to a certain point of success, where you can just say, I'm not, you know what? I can't wait to fuck over all my fans. No, it's not fucking, it's not fucking them over. It's that you got who you got. Whoever else is gonna find you, they'll find you. They will's not fucking, it on this podcast.

Go ahead! No, but I think if you build a legitimacy before that, and then go do that. Right, hang on. Can I ask one question? Stop, I'm just, are you gonna talk at all? I don't think he needs to do anything because this is the happiest I've ever been on this podcast,

looking at his fucking sideways glasses and his occasional smile. Just looking to that camera right there I'm sorry guys, I'll talk more next time Bobby August How about you moving in New York? Yeah, I'm so creepy. August. August, August. Talks out, cuz moving in New York in August. That really is. And he is.

Where are you from again, man? Baltimore. Baltimore. I'm gonna help this fuck out. I'm playing. He comes here. He plays my goobies. Yes, I do, yep.

Who's just there? He's been in a good place. Great place. Want to talk about my Baltimore stuff? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, cool. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're not fuck with him. Oh, yeah, sorry. Great. That's a great club. You're going to do great.

Sorry. I mean, you should get on his show, because that would be a fucking great show. Yeah. I don't let people before before before. You know, you don't do fat jokes, do you? It doesn't matter. He's a fan, and then I'm a fan, and it rooms the fat image. I got to have, like, I won't want to the club to see it.

I don't, they gave me, no, seriously. If I open up at 10 minutes of fat jokes, then if I've had a future of Fatem Se image. I got to have a like I won't want to the club to see at all. They gave me no seriously if I open up a 10 minutes of fanchokes then I've had a future of Adam C. I got to drop it. Right. You want to see I don't want to get me crazy. Nobody is going to it's not crazy. I've listened to this dude. I'm going to be funny. No matter what to do. No one saying. I don't know that would have to be cocky. I'm not saying I'm not funny. What I'm saying is it goes from an A up front to a b up front Yeah, go right I don't think he heard you you know, I'm just saying having

Here with your saying you're being complimentary, but it doesn't just because I know my act of know how things go does it mean that I'm sitting over here going I won't be funny that's not what I'm saying no I'm saying that it's what you feel comfortable it affects the show it affects my uh it affects your psyche whether it's no no no no no no no no no no no no no no it affects your clothes you wear what is it I'm never doing this fucking show again and a fact sometimes it affects the the the jokes up front the fat jokes not just my side But I know what if a fat guy doesn't do fat jokes doesn't matter. It's it's less funny I want to for me to go I want to I was jam want to see how it wants to give me a fat emcee and a fat feature And I was like hey as I have to alter my whole thing now

Because I just like to you get off a, you want a fucking coast on a travel day. I'm saying I want a coast on Wednesday or Thursday. Right. And now I really have to just fucking drop. You know what I dropped? This would help me out a lot in the last, last 10, 10, four months? No, no, no, four months.

I stopped doing my fat jokes. All of them, I just stopped doing them. I have one new one that I wrote about pissing on my belt tongue or whatever You belt, huh? Yeah, I pissed on my belt tongue At an airport and I want to piss on the dudes next to me That's not a bad joke. This is a good PJ, but um

It's uh, you know, I stopped doing it because I you know, you do you I would show up and be like oh Fuck and I would show up and be like, oh, fuck. And I would have, I was like, okay, first of all, I did them on my special. So I kind of had to stop doing it. Right, right. But again, it actually freed me up to just do, I don't have, whoever the, now like,

because I would worry about the same thing. All right, so thank you, too. I would see, I would see, it's not crazy. I would see a fat guy on and I, I, I hated having to go. Thank you. Are you, it's like, fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It sucked.

But it happened, it can happen with any kind of comic. Yeah, I have like, or even I have like fucking seven pot jokes. And if someone goes up there and it's like, I'm talking about smoking weed, you're like, now I'm gonna look like I'm fucking doing the same thing. He is, and it's different. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, I'm just not like me and Brian have hours of material

to like actually well from. You have just 50 minutes 65 minutes so that's tough pretty. I mean, you're you're fucking wobbling around five minutes. I'll tie if they step on Yeah, comedy in the last though. You don't think that sometimes no you're you're in I don't think sometimes it's in your head that you're thinking that people are looking at it. I mean, there was a time when I wouldn't wear certain things, like I have jewelry and stuff and I would cut down

on some of the jewelry because it would be a distraction or something like that. And then it's sometimes the fucking, where do you set that? I'm gonna say this, and this may sound paranoid and fucking crazy. You know, I'm gonna say this, and this may sound paranoid and fucking crazy. You know, I have a bright link, my big, I have a big super avenger.

Nice one. Nice ones. Yeah, Dan got one after me, and Patrice got one, and Sammy's like, watch after me, so I got it first, those fucks copy me. So if you see them with it, it, well you can't see him with it, but no. You see Patrice with it, that's the problem.

No, that's it, you see Patrice with it, run. Okay, that's it, go Run. That's a ghost. But anyways, I wore it at the seller. And I'm not kidding you. I was having my sets weren't as good. And then I was like, I think it's this fucking big thing I'm wearing. And I stopped wearing it.

And the crowd, they're psyche, except if it was better shows. Now do you think that it was your psyche that made the crowd laugh more? I fat elbow, just shut the whole show down. Do you think it was your psyche that made the shows better? Or do you think that the crowd was truly distracted? I don't I don't know if any of its real or in his fake I know and I'm not I don't like to be a you know that superstitious fucking baseball player idiot right but It was weird. I think that having that for the for the the jokes that I'm telling and I'm being vulnerable on stage

Right, you know what I mean? Yeah, I have this huge $5,000 shiny brightening. It's kind of like what? I mean I think if you go on stage with any sort of weird prop even if you don't acknowledge it It's gonna cause people to be wonder why the fuck is that guy doing that? It's a boy I got. So I got past it. Even if it wasn't the watch if someone just standing there swinging their arm. Yeah, yeah But why is that dude swinging his arm? So they're the crowd's attention. It's just something where it shouldn't be Bobby Slade said to me Don't wait that shirt off. Don't wait that shirt on stage

And I said well come because I'm gonna try and read what it says the whole time. I'm like oh, yeah, it's a good point Yeah, it's it's a little bit certain things I think that psyche psychologically they they you put your fucking crowd in a weird spot But I noticed if you tell people like, hey, I need this, I need this, then people think it's like a matter of insecurity or being a diva and you can't open your mouth. Oh, that's a one thing to say as much as I would love

the work with Slav, I think maybe he'd be good as an MC and not as a feature of my socializing go right before me. Well, I understand the certain things that you have that put your psyche, your own psyche, and that's definitely half-man. And then your own psyche affects the audience because it's your intent.

You need to go out, I need to go out as free as possible. Like I bring these two on the road mate last week. And the one thing that I learned by bringing guys with me, I need to not worry about what the fuck they're doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't wanna have to listen to you. I don't wanna have to worry if you're just out by bringing guys with me, I need to not worry about what the fuck they're doing or say. I don't wanna have to listen to you. I don't wanna have to worry if you're just out to doing crowd work because you're having a bad set

and now you're making it your show. Instead of doing fucking joke, joke, joke, joke. You got 20 something minutes, 50, whatever the fuck you got. Do fucking jokes. Use this time at the beat. Crowd workers, a feature, a feature, fuck you, man. I know, I hate that shit. It's like, listen, I. Crowd workers are featured. Fuck you man. I know. I hate that shit.

It's like listen, I don't, you know, and these guys, I know Scobo's going out, I know Stav's going out, I don't have to worry about him one bit. Right. After the show, we're going to get some fucking food. You know, I'll see you tomorrow, same fucking shit. Be with friends, hopes to. I don't have to worry about it.

The certain, you know, certain guys where it's like, fuck, I gotta, can you know, and you know, the last thing you want to do is say, please don't fucking do it. You don't want to control. Yeah, but so do Louis. What's that? The last one, where a foreign team played the guy. Yeah, he never once said the foreign team can you not do that?

Yeah, but he knew his head, he's doing like a fart joke, where it lightens. And he was like, he's doing whatever he's doing, everything he wasn't supposed to do, little jokes. But if you go to the end of it, what Louis was saying was just be funny. Yeah, I have to say it's the best season I think it's been. I love this season. I did like season. I got one second.

Thank you. Thank you. Well, you went to this season. Four, four, four, four, four. Thank you. No, three. I think it was three. I don't know.

Yeah, it was three. It was three. I think those two episodes, it's called the road one and two. Yeah. Well, Florence team was three. It was three. I but I think that those two episodes. It's called the road one and two Yeah, well foreign foreign team was awesome. Foreign team was awesome But at the end of that episode I was so glad he died. Yeah, cuz that guy Yeah, that guy couldn't the one you know cuz it that's not you don't win like that It's like all right here you go when you get to the club and they tell you not can you not and then they have the feature All right, here you go. When you get to the club and they tell you,

can you not do it? And then they have the feature, fucking going on. Do everything. Is that actually why you to be clean? Does that happen to you? Oh, everything in that show. It happens that it happens.

That where they say, don't do this. And then the feature happens. I had to happen at the fuck, and the brokerage house before the cool owners own it. Yeah. Now, they're great. The guy you wanted before I showed up because all right, I need you to be clean.

I go, I go, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm not clean. I don't you know get the yeah I go it's in my contract that you signed there you don't get to tell me anything Okay, I go so if I have to leave right now. I'll leave no problem I'll take the fuck off I get back on the train and then he finally was ignored just do go ahead just Whatever the fuck you said and I went up, but I know look I know what he's saying do go ahead just you know if you just do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do before the show did you even say hi right just that okay you're brine yeah you have to be your ten minutes before the show no drinks on stage the MC's not gonna do any time in between you the future gonna bring you right up right and you can't you can't see only two f-bombs I'm just like wow what the fuck yeah I was like shouldn't this have been told to me yeah before I got on the fucking

plane it's good for you from here to Oklahoma City no I just I was like I said nice to meet you too and then her face got so man. I knew I was doomed. Yeah, I knew I was going to any I you know what you're going to do bad when the only person on the wall you recognize as David tell. There's just a bunch of cowboys and hip-mats. I'm not going to go good from here. There is a there's a club in an eerie pencil. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I was opening for Nate. This like eight years ago and we're going to the gig and Nate's like,

listen, I'm clean. You got to be clean. And I'm like, how clean? He's like, I don't know. You're going to ask him. So we go, we show up to the club and they're like, you have to be completely clean. You're not allowed to curse. It's like, cool.

Where's the MC? And they go, oh, this is fun. So we get a bucket. And then people just sign up to be the MC. And I go, that's who's MC in the show. Oh, my God. And they go, yeah, they go, now you have to be completely to be the MC and I go that's who's I'm seeing the show and they go yeah they go now you have to be completely clean and I'm like that's fine So they put up this guy in a suit and the first thing he says when he goes to you is man these fucking lights are bright And you're like so I can't I can't do that and he just said they're going fucking you ever fuck a girl

And then you fucking and I'm looking at the owner these guys Dennis and I'm like like this I'm like I can't say shit. And he's like, you got to be clean. I'm like, how? How? This guy's just saying fuck every other word. Oh, that was the worst. They don't fucking understand.

That those two episodes affected me so bad. That word. I got mad when Louis got it. When Louis started crying and saying, for our jokes are funny, I was laughing, but also going, oh, no, no, don't give in to this guy. I can't wish you got a point. I know.

But then when the guy died and Louis has that moment with his kids, you realize, oh, it's not about Louis losing or winning or this guy losing or winning, it's about like you said, just being funny. It's about being a good guy. He was a better guy than that guy. Yeah, he was a best, he was Louis. Yeah, he was a better guy than that guy.

He does this guy's life, doesn't affect Louis life. No matter what and this You know, look it. I've been on those gigs man. I've showed up at condos You know with it the club thinks oh, yeah, that's a good idea Instead of paying for a hotel and we can be comfortable Let's just go buy real estate that we can sell You know and cheap too. It's fucking nothing. It literally costs maybe $1,000 a month for these condos, for the mortgage.

So instead of, you know, I get why you're doing it, but you don't clean it. I don't give a fuck of what you say. You don't, they're not sanitary. It's not a fucking hotel room. Right. It's not a fucking hotel room. A hotel room by law has to fucking be clean.

Exactly. The sheets, the pillowcases, everything has to be, and at any point you can say, I want everything new. Even the bed cover, I want it fucking new, I want to walk, you can have, and you can have food, and you don't have to worry about fucking doing dishes or if the other guy did dishes. What type of, if I go into a condo,

who's a smoker and there's a smoke, who's a salmon? Who's a salmon? Who's a salmon? Who's a salmon? Who's a salmon? Who's a salmon? Who's a salmon?

Who's a salmon? Who's a salmon? Who's a salmon? Who's a salmon? Who's a salmon? Who's a salmon? Who's a salmon? Who's a salmon?

Who's a salmon? Who's a salmon? Who's a salmon? Who's a salmon? Who's a salmon? Who's a salmon? Who's a salmon? Who's a salmon? Who's a salmon? This is oh have you been to the apartment? Oh, you mean the comedy condo that you have me in or have you been at the resort? Yeah, I just don't like sharing a room with a I don't like sharing a fucking apartment with a guy I met for a week When I did that one time a guy I come home back at the skyline cafe whatever the fuck it was Yeah, I come back the fucking kid. I haven't back since by the way. The fucking kid the opener who isn't

Nowhere to be found. Yeah, he's gone. I haven't seen him in the business. There you go Fucking cock sucka. He I come out of here. He has my son de PlayStation in the living room. What's playing it? He took it out of your room out of my room I'm out of here Jesus Jesus Christ. Christ I was shaking I was shaking in my room. I had a call frosty mad for off I'm gonna hit him with something. I'm gonna hit him. I'm gonna go get this a picket out front a picket fence I'm gonna rip a picket off. I'm gonna smash the back Do you say anything you hey? What's up, dude? What the fuck really dude you should think about getting better games and then here's the fucking kicker I the the fucking staff comes back to the gal.

Sometimes you go, we won't go back to the condo. I was like, all right, they come back in. It was raining. It was all muddy out. They came in with muddy shoes. And they fuck all over the apartment. I was sitting there scrubbing because I'm not a fucking asshole. I was scrubbing dirt mud out of the carpet.

Nope. And you know what I got fucked? And I threw all the trash out. I left a couple dishes in the sink, and they fucking called Frosty and said, he left dirty dishes. I don't fucking. Wow.

What a bunch of asses. I split a Tucson. I split a condo with a silent clown. Oh, yeah. And his wife a condo with a silent clown. And his wife that played the pickle. And his wife. You know, Dylan Clown. TC Hatter in Marcian.

If people like, he's out there. Who is it? This guy named TC Hatter. He's a silent clown and his wife plays the pickle though while he does balloon things. That's what you want him standing over you. Here's the thing, he's a silent clown, but he takes off his sports coat and it's fucking jacked.

He's like, he had arms like Arnold, and I was just like, this fucking guy, so nice, but then like mild manner to the point where he's like, hey, I know you smoke pot, if you could outside, maybe take a walk, and I'm like, ah, fuck. And do you like straight of a friend's house? It's like, let's wise or with wise.

Yes, man, there's certain guys that don't mind and shouldn't a condo. And at some point in my career, I get neither. I get it. Well, you know, Louie's not doing condos anymore. Of course, he's like, I know, he's the four seasons. That was very fuck, he has his own reality for that day. Yeah, after the yacht episode.

The only thing that was fucking real was his comedy outfit. It's true. But if there's something positive about it, we had that little moment where he goes out, he takes a walk and he goes to the festival and takes the Civil War costume. Yep. I find this shitty boring as it sounds that way.

When I go on the road, I like to do one really cool thing or nice little thing. Yeah. A beautiful thing. And I thought that's what was cool about that episode. You threw in that little five minute scene to say, it's not all shit when you're out there. Well, I do that all the time.

I'll rent the car and go, I go places all the time. I went to Denver, I'll go fly fishing. I'll rent the car and rent all the fly gear and go up in the mountains by myself. Or I'll go, fans, I'll put it out to fans of taking me fly fishing. I've gone to lunch with fans

Gone to fucking cool places and don't you we went we were in Boston. We went out every day and did shit and I Dog's letting in Alaska. Do you ever play in Alaska? I did one time. Did you really go to Yeah, yeah, holy shit. That's I was supposed to go to we were getting a helicopter ride to the glacier. Oh to the glacier Yeah, but I say we were just wiped I would have been scared I would have loved it. I would have loved Wow, the glacier. Oh, to the glacier. Yeah, but I say we were just wiped. I would, I would have been scared. I would have loved it. I would have loved it. But yeah, I love doing out. When I go on the road, I always try to do something interesting or go somewhere.

Fucking cool. How was I said I did? I got hurt. Dogs. You should maybe have to for your sanity, Peter. Well, I think, I think because you're missing an opportunity in your life, because you're getting flown, not many people get flown. I don't know how much you're making a week or how many days you're there. You're getting flown and put up in the greatest places in our country. For a couple hours from work. For a few days and you should fucking take advantage of that.

Absolutely. Walk down the street at least and say something. Yeah. Because then you've been to 50 states. You've not seen anything but a hotel room. Yes, absolutely. Yes. I was thinking I was too ray and he we were he was like hungry. Let's go to subways There are one way you know too way. I don't know. I've had a three. I don't know maybe

11 way and you get a hundred thousand listeners How many gold like that? I don't know But he was like let's go to subway and I like, let's go to a five star restaurant. Oh yeah. Why not treat yourself? And he always goes out and tweets me whatever he goes to a really nice restaurant. I help.

I fucking help. I was in any time I'm somewhere, I help all the fucking. What do you mean? Do you leave reviews? Oh, does it leave reviews? It's my phone. There's always one reviewer It's like clearly like one guy just had the one guy started a fight and they asked him to leave and he was like I play some like come on you dude you just you you walked in with no pants on

I mean I leave reviews Like Bobby Lee right housewife I want to try to link a PTA president my review is a fucking beautiful Brian I think I have a new review. Do you want me to read it? Is it for place here in New York or somewhere else? Is it for the show because I don't think I want to hear it It's much a fat joke Okay, here's my review right here. I don't know if I read this one Okay, this is about the Bob a Lou cigar company in Austin, Texas, which I'm going to again this week

That's great. Here. What we go. Where's my glasses? Bob Lucicone. Do I review? I am a fucking yelp or through and through. I'm on my new glasses. This is online snitching. Dear proprietors. There we go.

You ready? The way you parcel out here is the good one. OK, here's the deal. The parcel. When you start with here's the deal. Here's the deal. When you first walk in, there is a weird vibe like, oh great, here's another fat tourist who wants a mild cigar

and a diet coke. It's a small place and kind of hipstery, which makes it a little more comfortable with those figures. And the guy is a gay yogurt. And the guy at the front is not the most welcoming person in the world. I hate you for that one. Don't let any of that scare you off from this amazing cigar lounge.

If they got four senses in. I found after a little conversation, the dude at the front wanted to be very cool, informative and helpful about the cigars. It's all their own brand of cigars that I found really amazing. As soon as I walked into the humidor, I could tell these guys take care of their cigars. The dude at the front hooked me up with a really great mild cigar and a diet coat. The guy who just bashed. He was willing to answer all my questions. They also have a good amount of cigar accessories

that are really well priced. I will come back here every time I come to Austin. The place gets five stars on the personality alone. Never mind, they're amazing handmade cigars. That was good. That was good. Look at me. Look at me. It looks like you want the vomit. You know, you lost your Boston cart. They won't let you back in. Oh, I have a new review. It's called a fucking reviewer. It's called Face to Face Crocs. You know, I'm fucking going to computer and fucking type up

your little fag blog. You're fucking, how you like that? You're fucking done. You're done. You're the longest citizen of Massachusetts. You're fucking out, boi-be. You're fucking, who the fuck blogs? That's a yelp reveal.

That's different. It's online, smitch it. Listen, man. Listen, listen. Listen, you fucking- You fucking- You fucking- You fucking- You fucking- It's online smith. Listen man. Listen listen. You like a target series real quick Hi guys, this has been a fucking great show. I got to wrap this up. I'm first of all I'm glad you guys made up Oh, yeah, I didn't know we were actually really fighting Usually passive aggressive people don't

It's good to see two detective faces come together. I really do look like a do-a-be-a-do-a. Fucking vice cops. I guess I'm the angry one. I'm the fat one. It's a fucking beige fat cop show. Oh shit. Thanks for having me, man. I love fun.

It was good seeing you. Good seeing you too, man. You doing a great job on Louis. I'm really proud of you. Now you stay in an LA, you coming back? I'm going back in June, and then I'm doing a lot of touring, but then next year I'm gonna stay fucking put and get back on a television show and actually lose some weight. You dude I'm actually I'm gonna be losing weight in the next three months too. I'm really gonna push it. I actually

get a kid now you got a kid. Ha off. Planet fitness. There's one near my house 24 hours a day. I'm just gonna do what I did last time and go to the gym at night. When I did all these networks. I TV show with Pam Anderson. Yeah. Before I lost 50 pounds just by walking This hiking trail by my place in LA, which is gonna do that again. I'm gonna force myself I'm gonna get it back. You stare at the girls ass from front of you. Yeah, and it's motivation And I mean it's like the carrot with the donkey. Yeah, I usually do that with with cake Buddy, let's go around the room. We're gonna do plugs and and then

And then we're gonna say farewell and we're gonna take a photo and do all that shit. Stop roast. What do you got buddy? Cool, so I actually do something cool coming up. Well Next weekend, I'm in Denver. I guess June 11 to the 13th. I'm like comedy works. You son of a bitch. Why I'm missing them by a week We could have been working together by a week. That would have been beautiful What a great club, dude. Have you been there? No first time wait till you fucking work that club. I can't wait I'm going with Tom pop it's gonna be great. Oh, yeah, he's great. That's all is he flying out there. I'm fine Wow, he said fucking money ran out Yeah, he's helping out. He's being a no, he's Tom pop is the best

It's a good room to get in man. Listen, you wait man If you had to make a choice between Tom and me, oh, not my I'm just between my two dads What that I mean who's your real dad? I'm biologically He's yellow is yellow glasses on Way when I was driving I couldn't read I was missing my exits And I just couldn't see it was just blurry and when I read it was blurry But for the last year and a half I would just dealt with it So my dawn sends me to the eye doctor. I get this fucking crazy exam And then I come out and they made me put these glasses on how crazy is it and I was like oh I can see right

I didn't go to the eye doctor for 10 years and I went and the guy when they made my glasses He's like listen to me when you put these on only look straight because your head's gonna get fucked up And I put it on and I was like trying to look around and I was like Everything and I Well, I when I was I almost bought his glasses just to fuck with him. Because the show's coming out this year. I wear the glasses all the time. I become kind of famous this year, maybe with those glasses. Then everybody that meets him in New York is going to think that he just stole my look.

He's been working on this look for fucking 10 years. I've been polishing it out. Oh my God. I was going to do him crooked too. I'm going to actually get a little fatter. Hey, how dare you come on? Oh shit son. Oh wow What do you got Denver works Denver comedy works and then actually pretty cool thing But I'm plugging fucking Tom Papa gigs now

It works Denver comedy works and then actually pretty cool if anybody's on plug and fucking Tom Papa gigs now And then I'm actually gonna go to Japan and Korea That's great. Yeah, I can't wait July 14th to 26. I don't know if I can be away from you from that I'll send you picks of real Korean barbecue authentic KBBQ my papa. All right, cool. Good. Thanks. Come on out. What do you got, man?

Very simple. Just add the SDR show. Do you have any stickers? I do. I don't have mommy though. I gave him out on over here. Yeah, some we can put behind this. I'll bring him to you.

I do have them. Actually, you know what, before I came on here, I went to the barb to the block and I got rid of them at the barb. We'll put them around so that there'll be, you know, we put the list of many, do me a blah, blah blah. If the SDR show everywhere, Facebook Twitter Instagram, the SDR show. And me, it's I am Ralph Sutton. I am Ralph Sutton at Facebook Twitter and Instagram.

I want to come on. Can I? I'd love you to come on. It's right here in the city. I'd love you to come on. Great, great. You and Jay are kicking ass with that. That's great.

So please follow, subscribe, review. Don't be ashamed. It's fun. Don't do it. Yes. I mean, don't be ashamed. Yes. There's so much.

I have no problem promoting it. What do you got, Brian? I'm headlining the brokerage this weekend. I love that club. Yeah, I'm doing that. That's the club that I hated. Now I love it. So much of those guys.

James? Yeah. He's the best. And I'm heading there. Empire, Youngcras race weighing casino on Wednesday the 10th. I've done it. I've done it twice. Okay.

The first time was great. I had a good feature. Second time, I had a feature who was me. I've never had. I've done it twice. Okay, yeah, the first time was great. I had a good feature. Second time I had a feature who was me I've never had a good feature there. I mean literally I Try to choose my face when I can't I don't want to trash anybody, okay? But every time I played there the guys in front of me just literally eat their clocks I felt bad for the last kid because he's a young kid He works at the stand I forget his name,, but I think he's used to killing. You know what I mean?

And he really was mad at himself. You know, like, you know what I'm talking about? It takes a hot one, you're like, what the fuck? He was mad. I took a hot one there. Yeah, I've never, I've always killed. Okay, that was featuring.

I was a long time ago. I got a featuring in his easiest spot. I have a album, Brian's Glouder Live at the Comedy Council on iTunes and Brian Sclaro sneezes as far as it orgasms. And I just thought of a podcast on the network that he's on, all things comedy. It's called, this is my podcast. But it sketches and skits and not interviews and conversations.

It's something different. So I'm sure somebody more famous will steal the idea and run with it. Well, why don't you just make it fucking huge or popular? I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm going to say something because we're such good friends now. Yeah. Um, I've, I've learned so much on how to promote the shit out of a podcast. By all means, I have no problem sharing the knowledge with everybody.

Please, that would be very helpful. I'm going to make it. Will you help him? Yeah, absolutely. I have no problem with it. Yeah, I, can you deny me? Can you help him learn how to read? I've learned a lot of the ways things to help build an audience. I have no problem with it. Can you admit, no, I mean, can you help him learn how to read? I've learned a lot of the ways things to help build an audience. I have no problem doing that.

Very good things. Well, that'll be very nice, you man. And anything I can do for you, what can I do for you? Shoot on me some more, be awesome. I'm sorry, well you started. I don't know. I'm not fucking do it again, please. But anything I can do for you would be my pleasure.

Wow. Anyway, still, I'm trying to be. I'm not, I think. I'm getting shot at both of you. You could have just said, hide all when you took a picture with your son. I was so supportive. Yeah, what do you got besides a skyrocketing career? You don't want to take that as a himself. What do you have besides all fucking smoke and hot girlfriend? I will be appearing with Robert Kelly and Big J. O'Courson and R.I.S. If you're at Bonnaroo, so if you're there, you're gonna be awesome.

That's we're all in the same show. You know that, right? Here's a deal. I was going there to do sex drugs and rock and roll. Yeah. That's where I'm going to Austin this weekend. I'll be at the ATX television festival in Austin this weekend to promote the show. And then the next week we'll in Bonnaroo.

I got that comedy show. You're Thursday. Friday. And then next week we'll in a Bonarue, and I got that comedy show. You used Thursday, Friday. And then is it Thursday and Friday? Yeah, we're doing, we have two afternoon shows on Thursday and then we got the, or we have an evening shows on Thursday afternoon show on Friday. Yeah, I gotta make sure it doesn't conflict

with the fucking sex drugship, but yeah. Yeah, we're on the same, and then I'm at Denver Comedy Works, June 18th through the 20th awesome weather Yeah, I know what is awesome is that every time you promote your show if you're indirectly promoting my podcast. Yeah, yeah Yeah, I'm gonna tell people not to do Indirectly he'll find a way to attach out. I'll find some like fucking Micro bug on it on every tweet

I'll find some like fucking micro bug on every tweet. Oh, website, I put another website. I just think it's just fucking sucks. I'm talking about that shit. Over to Big J. Even worse, you'll just be in line in a coffee shop and you'll hear someone like, did you know that that show on FX also has a matching pot? Yeah.

I will lose the game. No, I don't. That's it. There's a fucking assholes who talk about stick shit in people's assholes. Ah, go ahead, what do you got? I got a movie that I'm getting ready to shoot as soon as my leg gets better. It's called a fight.

A circle of eight. Oh, fighting? No, drug dealers stuff. I played a head drug dealer. I got a fight. Really? Yeah, it's a stretch for me. I got a movie called, well, I don't know what the name is,

the work entitled, but it's a boxing movie that I'm working on after. As soon as my leg heals up, I got to start boxing five times a week. The podcast, Bage Phillips Show, I'm doing one-on-one consultation, trying to tell people how to handle their bitch. You make money over that? Off the consultations, fuck yeah. Really? Yeah man, I was charged with consultations from twenty five dollars for you for free really I do it for free for you

Absolutely, I'm just gonna let my bitch run all over me. Don't do that man. It hurts my heart I wanted to take my balls it hurts my heart. My shirt says take my balls That hurts my ball You know don't in me She ain't fucking she's the perfect girl for me She won't let me give her she's she'll tell me to go fuck myself I would always say that whenever somebody says their girl is perfect It's usually because the guy is perfect because a woman is a direct reflection of the guy. She's fucking so

Hey, anyways, we got I'm not done. Oh, you got more. Yeah, I can you stop giving movies that aren't in production I'm gonna be back on the blacklist I don't know yet This one of my favorite shows and I'm glad that they finally got out of that fucking weird thing They were spiraling into and now they're back and the fucking shows on fire and the season ended fucking great. Yeah. So that's good, dude.

What a great gig. That's awesome. Good for you. Before Chris goes, I've got, I have a really important show that any people, June 17th and Irvine, Irvine Improv, fucking gotta get a lot of people in there. It's a very big show. What date is it? June 17th.

All right. You, June 17th. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Irvine California. Wednesday night. Very big show what date is it June 17th? All right, you June 17th if you guys are Irvine California Wednesday night. If you guys are there And California anywhere near it three hours five hours make sure you spread the word. It's a big one, please Help him promote that. Thank you. Also, we just We just did a live pot. We just did a live podcast and so that's gonna be up the next next week That's gonna be great. Oh, yeah, we'll check out baseball show

Right cast that great you get a great crew over there and you kick an ass. Thanks for what's my dates? June 27th the treehouse at sports Haven, New Haven with You and go miss Lewis. Yes. Yeah, we're gonna be there. I'll be fun We're gonna stop at Frank Peppies get Lewis off that guy to that can I'll eat the cheese off a one It is an excellent Lewis girl, but no Lewis does he won't have a cheat day for a couple weeks And he'll go to Frank Pepe's and just house a whole piece of himself Fucking sounds good to me and I can't deny how fucking good he looks. He's great. I mean I know down he does

He looks great. I mean, he's settled down. He does. He's totally like a friend for him. I got a good settle down. No, he does. He has. He was, he was mid skinny and he looked like he was melting. Oh, it's great. Just his sides were stretch marks and gooey. Okay, what else I got? Uh, Gotham Comedy Club. He drew it. He drew it. July 16, 17, 18. Yeah, New York City Gotham Comedy Club. Make sure you guys get your tickets now. Sell that shit out.

Let's go. August 7th, 8th, you're at governors. Gavinaz, make sure you sell that shit out too. Governors, where? I'm at governors, the brokerage. The brokerage, yeah. The brokerage, yeah. There's a difference, right?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm not a governor. I'm a brokerage. So make sure you get your tickets. Go to robbercannonlive.com for all your things, Robert Kelly. See that? See how good it feels. Yeah. She tickets go to robbercadelive.com for all your things robber Kelly see that I got my my special up there for five bucks if you haven't bought it yet you're an asshole

Go buy that five bucks and then make sure you subscribe to this YouTube page subscribe and review the show on iTunes and make sure you tell a friend about this show, get some people into it and nudge your girlfriend and let her listen to it. And you guys are the best fans in the fucking world, sex drugs and rock and roll, the actual real show that will be popular on FX July 16th. You guys are the best. I'll talk to you later. for all the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free. And they're all free.

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