Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Cream Cheese Ankles

Episode Date: November 25, 2013

Robert is joined by Jeffrey Gurian, Dan Soder, Luis J Gomez, Kelly Fastuca and Chris Scopo.  RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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I have a bunch of guys on it's just us sitting down Yeah, and sometimes it's hilarious sometimes it's intense no topics of direction I love doing it this podcast has no rules. Can I get a microphone? I'm sure I've already said should I regret it's rubber killing you know what dude? You know what dude? You know what dude? I know what dude! I guess... Unblighted cast of... I guess...

I guess... Side... From... Right... It... I'm so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, sad, so sad, so sad, sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, sad, so sad, so sad, sad, so sad, sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, sad, so sad, sad, so sad, sad, so sad, so sad, sad, so sad, so sad, so sad, sad, sad, so sad, so sad, sad, sad, so sad, sad, so sad, sad, so sad, sad, so sad, sad, so sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, so sad, sad, so sad, so sad, sad, so Join the Raya! Well, welcome to YKW fucking D. We've really harmonized there. We're back with the show with the crew, I guess I would call it.

The full band band the regulars yeah you guys are Joe sucking his microphone off usually that's held for anything sucking off as Lewis Jay Gomez is really not for each other literally we are going to youtube.com backslash Lewis list fuck finally dot org. It's an org. We a big org to a board short over so you and I. Hey, you got that shoot around really warmed you up. Come again. Back of the down. We're going to go from from my right all the way to my left counterclockwise.

We got Chris Black Girl ass scopo to my right. Willow butt. Law it up. He's sitting at the producer's chair, but he's not producing tonight because. Shit. We're gonna get the video. The video is gonna be, I'm fine tuning it.

There's a lot of shit that goes into it, and we're gonna do the video. It's just, I don't wanna record it and not have it and have it be shit. T-t-t-t. I'm pumped, Bobby can't yell at me for the next two hours. Hey Ken. About the video, I should say. Bobby Scorsese.

He should yell at you for talking next to the microphone like a weirdo. I can't even hear you. It's like you're whispering in its ear. Yeah, it's like you're filming a sketch where you would be talking to a microphone. Yeah, like this. Anyways, we got Kelly Fistuka, aka The Worst. Yeah. Sisypuses.

You took the words right out of my mouth. Oh, it must have been while you were kissing me. I didn't tie tap to that. It's beautiful. And then we got back by popular fucking demand. Yeah. Boy, I have missed you. Yeah, true. I missed the show, but really I missed you the most, Bobby.

Joe Lest, I've missed you. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah, your Rob Sprance hair, I've missed you. She's a little sensitive. Going bald, man. I haven't been's a little sensitive. Going bald. I haven't been here in so long. Months.

I know, you haven't even on the road. I was in Norway and I had a Pearl Jam show and then I was in Boston and then you were gone. Kelly duped me into coming in here when you were here. That was the bus and bummed me out. That was the best phone call I ever received. It was Joe Furious about. Livid. Kelly, getting him to come. He was jough furious. Livid. Kelly, getting him to come to the podcast and pop these not here.

Yeah, Leg, I hadn't slept. I was like, I'm not doing the show. I'm tired. I can't do it. I'm sorry. Please, we need you. And I'm like, okay, she goes, Bob's not there. I've actually heard the podcast.

It was a funny podcast. It was good. Hey, what about that? Oh, wait, the other one was destroyed by Kelly. Which one? The one where I get one the night before right the one I came in good one yeah one of the fucking we got Dan we got Dan monster voices hello fucking apparently you are very good looking I don't know that no I mean everybody every every woman every website every is not ever gorgeous Dan so to I One girl said it. I don't know a lot of people said it. I don't see it. Not the thing. Yeah, I see it. I see your good

All right, scopo. No, I'm not trying to figure that willow buddy I when I read that when I read that review I thought I told my me first that I got excited and then I read it and then I was like No, she made me sound like a like an old school wrestler gorgeous dance Kelly Kelly can you get me a water? Yeah, yeah, come here with a boa fact that he's right because you're the I don't like that I have to ask for a water on my show Well, you know, this is the power structure Yeah, how am I gonna fucking reach over there? I actually took it out of your way while you're fiddling with chords down

What did I take in my way? Okay? Pull a Murphy Brown and get a new secretary every show. No, whenever I talk to white bitches. Pull a su costello, Bobby, you gotta fight everybody. I write in a Boston accent. Oh, God, it's awful. Listen, so you're back, I'm very happy. Yeah.

And now this is what their mind fucking me into thinking you're sexy. What's that, Bobby? Yeah, well, you're like a bent, a fleck and mad dammit. No, you're sexy. What's that, Bobby? Yeah, well, you're like a Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. Ben's not sexy. You know, wait until I do my boys to men break down for Bobby. If you're wondering who the overmodulating, that's not us, that's his actual voice.

That's Lewis High Amgay, Jay Gomez, the Jay stands for fucking Jage Holy shit a you gay. Oh, well, we have not been together since the live show Not not all of us on the show not me you Dan and Uncomfortable it was weird. Yeah, dude. You straight up suck to do suck to do. Yeah dude, we're gonna get to that. I just I really need to talk to you about that. And then to my very left, we have a very special guest Jeffrey Gourian who the list goes on of things you'd callee what what I mean you I told you to get his list. You have a ton of shit. There's a thing about you is people like, everybody knows you, but some people like, what the fuck is he?

They think I'm in the music business. They think you're in the, that's why I sent you that video that you're in. Who the fuck is Jeffrey Gurion? Yeah, well let me ask you a question. You really, because you wear and you pull it off. What, seriously? You're the full specter here?

No, no. Yeah. Yeah, eat that microphone. Apparently you're not in the music business, because you're not gonna talk on a mic here? No, no. Yeah. Yeah, eat that microphone. Apparently you're not in the music business because you're not going to talk about Mike. No, you look like, you look like you look like the DJ that was. You know what I mean? The full spectre of fucked Elton John. Oh, perfect.

But you wear the clothes you wear. Which actually happens. You're very rock and roll. You're very rock and roll. He looks like he's done a bunch of blow at studio 54 I take that as a compliment to me to compliment it's huge. Yeah, you you either look fucking silly gay or Rock and roll all mixed in punk rock Iggy pop David Bowie punk rock well good good for me. Yeah punk rock who evolved into an older man

good for me. Well punk rock who evolves into an older man. He pocketed with doesn't wear the fucking this shit anymore. The lead singer to the nice little ones around with no shirt it. Igui pop. Yeah, it still looks better. He's got abs man. It's great. He looks great, but let's talk about it. He's fucking vaning out. It kind of makes me throw up. He's starting to get rick flair torso. Yeah. Whereas pecs are drooping and it's kind of weird. Yeah, he's done a little like a clone like an unfinished clone of himself like Um, but you you sorry what is it? Oh, I don't know what the bomb depolos joke My wife buddy Dildo think was so realistic it had more veins in it than Iggy pops forearm He's not a good joke writer that's the problem He's got a good joke writer. That's the problem. He's got a great, you know. The dance new thing is when it's a good joke, he slaps the dildo on the fridge.

Blyat. So why don't you give us a little background? Where do you come into comedy, Jeff? I've been a comedy writer for a long time. How long? Let's ask Lewis the same question when you're done Since the late 70s She was at Alan's Y Bell. Give me my start right comedy. I brought comedy films up to Saturday Night Live Really and that's how it got started. Yeah, I drove up in a Pimp mobile, you know that story You know that story I was driving a a Mandarin orange El Dorado

I was very I had a very strange thoughts in those days, and I bought a car that was made for one of the Isle brothers. It was a Mandarin Orange El Dorado, and I totally pimped it out. Way before MTV did Pimp My Ride, whatever, put a Rolls Royce grill on it, because I had met a black Pimp from Maryland and I was very impressed with his life style.

You could have just said Pimp. No, I was, well, no, there's a reason that I said that, and I'll tell you what. was I was a dentist in those days I was a cosmetic dentist you were yeah I was yeah and what's a cosmetic dentist you made you gave people like the rich boss teeth no I gave people nice looking teeth damn straight you rich boss yeah I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I don't do it amongst people. You're a very nice guy. You're a very nice, you've always been this very nice guy. Personally, like, you know, you're a very sweet person.

Thank you. Yeah, you know, you're not. You're not a very nice guy. He came as my access to comedy tape and he came up to me afterwards and was just the nicest guy ever. Why? Why did they put you on this? Now it's people who are talented.

I thought it was really funny. Let's not get ahead of yourself. Okay. So we, we, we, let's go back to the pimping thing before you fucking ruin everything with telling us that he has talent. Okay, so I'm driving this car, this ridiculous car. I'm carrying two guns. You have guns? Not in more. Not in dentist. Not anymore. Well, I was licensed in those days. Yeah, and so I was leading a very strange life, and I decided that I wanted to get up to sat in I live. I was making these films at the time, little street films.

And they were like phone news stories, like several of them were arrested for smearing cream cheese on the ankles of elderly women who wore their stockings rolled down like bagels. You ever see the old women with their stockings? Yeah. And their ankle looks like fucking bagels. Right. So I got my grandmother. You're so nice. And she actually let me put cream cheese on her ankle.

She's like, Jeffrey, only for you where I do this. She Italian? Oh, she Jewish. She made the video. She had a Jewish accent. And so I made these films. And the others were like, the masters of disguise. They were master criminals who disguised themselves

as inanimate objects to commit their crimes. So it started out as two men disguised as coats rob a hat store They come in over the arms of two other men and they say just act natural like where your coats and nobody will get hurt And can I just say something right now? I know that Comedy back then like the cream cheese on the on the apples that that's the beginning of YouTube, basically what you were doing. You got, but comedy back then was, you know, it wasn't into this fucking crazy sex and dirty. Exactly, it didn't fit. So to come up with something like that creatively

and film it on your own was actually a pretty big thing back then and pretty interesting for people to see that because you only saw what the five channels gave you. Exactly. So for you as a creative person, just for your dentist, you're fucking weirdo, you're doing all kinds of freaky shit. Two grumps. And then you go, then you go and you say, I just want to, I came up with this funny idea. That looks like a bagel. I'm going to do it and you filmed it and for people to see that, that must have blown people away back then. It actually did and it's interesting that you understand that because nobody knew where to put it. I pulled up to 30 rock in that car. I threw the dorm in a few bucks and I said

Lauren Michaels is expecting me and they had no reason to doubt it because The car spoke for itself Which if you are on your phone you would have fucking got it. And nothing. Exactly. You were supposed to get this. Which, if you weren't on your phone, you would have fucking got it. Where's my phone? It was your right there. You just put it down. You fuck, I saw you. He was reading his can of coke.

What's in your hand? Nothing's in my phone. Why'd you just put it on the table? Nothing. What was in your hand? It was in my coat. It's in my coat. I apologize.

I just got up sick as Lewis bullied the joke in. Look at, I apologize. Thank you, Robert. All right, but you did zone out for a minute. Yeah, yeah. Your forehead was on the mic. Well, Jeffery was apologize. Thank you Robert. All right. I but you did zone out for a minute Yeah, yeah, you're forehead was on the mic. Well Jeff was talking Listening we are listening What are you from the fucking 1600s? We are listening

So I pull up there. I tell the Lord Michaels is expecting me now in those days You could pull right up in front of 30 rock. It's not like today I was like terrorists. Yeah, there's like secure You can't get near the building, but in those days you could pull right up. I could and I went in and I Stuck past security and I got into the elevators and I got up to sat in night live Right, and I got to meet Alan's why bail who at the show was new is like 77 right and I said listen I have these films and I got to show them to when he sat down with me to this day He remembers cream cheese on the ankles because we put something together

that people have never seen before. Yeah, sticks in your mind. It's like, mind you Python S shit. So he called, he did something the nicest thing. Instead of just saying to me here, call my manager, he called him for me. At the time, he was being managed by David Jonas, the guy who discovered Freddie Prince. Jonas Brothers father. And got him Chico and the man.

Right. Yeah. Can you think he's funny now? This is what he does though. Jonas Brothers father. And got him Chico and the man. Right. Yeah. Can you think he's funny now? This is what he does though. Just keep going. He will shit out, but he tries to do it in between words now. He used to just go, but now he's actually, he verbalizes. He's better.

He's cool. Yeah. So nine on a ten of these, I'm no good, but one, it's going to be really good. I'm so open. It's a killer. It's going to be a killer. I'm right here. They can come with it. So I get up there, as Alan's White Bell's playing handball

on the wall with Neil Levy, who was a cousin of Lauren Michaels and who was one of the producers on the show. I get them to sit down and watch this shit because for whatever reason, they were just nice to me. Right? You go, you could never, here's a deal with this though. This is why the story's interesting to me. You could never do that today. Never ever. Those days of like, here's a deal with this though. This is why the story's interesting to me. You could never do that today.

Those days of like, remember when a hot chick was in a malt shop and said, hey kid, I wanna make it a star. You gotta be on the movie. That fucking existed. That happened. That happened exactly. And like this could never happen.

You have to go through the chain of command. You have to be in the right agency with the right management at the right fucking time to kinda fast track shit. Other than that, you're gonna grind it out. And really, it's gonna take you years. You'll get there, I believe, but there's not more of this shit. Nobody has a story like this.

It's all a synchronicity, too. I mean, because as a kid, I was a- A serendipity. A serendipity, but also a synchronicity. I always felt that I could meet anybody I wanted to meet and there were only three people I ever wanted to meet. Me? Woody Allen. Well, you were, Woody, then me. Salvador Dali. You met Salvador. Okay. Yeah, I spent an evening with Salvador Dali and the beach. You made out with Salvador. You made out. No, I didn't. Okay. It was technically six people. Yeah. Which one one do you want Brian? He said the beach boy Brian? We'll say gay porn stop

I'm the seven is showed up at a friars thing not to the Jack Black roast really to the beach boys were there And I did an interview with them for the my comedy matters TV thing, right? It was amazing to see them. Yeah, yeah, good back to that thing. So Alan's White Bell calls David Jonas Right, and he agrees to meet with me And he tries to talk me out of the business and he goes, you're a professional. What do you need this for? And I'm like, you know, when comedy's a drug, if it's part of your life,

you can only suppress it for so long. And then you gotta do something with it. So he got me started. It took me about a year to learn how to craft a joke because I was writing those bizarre scenarios and filming them. And so I started writing for Freddie Roman and Dick Capri who did Cats Goes on Broadway. And that's how I got to meet Rodney Dangerfield. And I started writing for Freddie Roman and Dicapri who did Cats Goes on Broadway,

and that's how I got to meet Rodney Dangerfield, and I started writing for him in 1980. And that's one thing, how did Rodney became famous? When did he be, because he was in his 50s when he hit. Yeah, well, because he was really, I love that.

I love it. Raising his kids, he put the time into his family, and as a matter of fact, when I started writing for him, we were hanging out together at his club. It was just about that time that he became too big to perform at his own club That's danger fields today was his club was his club and he used to hang out there come out and always in a bathrobe and pajamas That was that fuck out of that's how and not a nice bathrobe a judge just an old bathroom of pajamas He'd walk around the club like that. And we just, it was fucking comedy was, you know,

that's just a level of success. I would love to reach. Yeah, but I love, I love, I love that. When I can't wear a bathroom. It's almost like when we were back, when I first started in Boston, I used to go to the Nix, and I used to go to Nix comedy stop,

and I'd see Gavin and Swimi and all these fucking great noxie and just these uh... unbelievable comics and they go on stage and they'd have a wig or they'd have a mop or they'd fucking show them being the middle of the joke and he wrote up you fucking lion cocksucker and they would just have fun with each other. It was about killing and being funny but having fun. They didn't, it wasn't just like, you go up, do your shit, you go up, do your shit, and then we have fun at the table. They actually brought it up on stage. It was a very different time. Yeah. Very, very different time. Did danger field

do sets in a robe in pajamas? No, no, no, no. He would, as soon as he got off stage, he'd put on his robe and pajamas, and we would sit in the dressing room, and he would say to me, a Jeff, what's the difference between Jews and Italians and be like I don't know Rod and what's it to me because they both take a leak in the sink but the Jews take the dishes out first. And you tell me shit like that and I'd say you know we would talk about who's hip and you go, hey Jeff, you know who's hip two guys in the village, that's who's hip. That was it, two guys in the village.

I told now to me that was a good. Hang on, that you make you feel good Lewis. He's he just not all the funny The guy down town I'm Put on the roll by fall apart Not doing well, Bobby your fat. I don't know what to go That was very good. He's a very good. He's very good voices. She or as much a man We make us hear the much of man story

There's three people I wanted to meet. Matcha man really said it. Thank you! And I did meet him. Miss Elizabeth and Junkyard. And Coco beware. Coco was here with the bird, right? Frankie.

Frankie, how do you know the bird's name? He's a huge perrheesome fan. That's so funny. Yeah, you put a rig in you would be I want it why would you take offense to that because I like porous like Why did you come makes not right there? I'm material right this crossers, Ronch is like, oh no, no, so hot but then I could eat good people still do this. Kelly's eyes lit up. Right over, right there.

So, back there, it's okay. Jeffrey, can I get you a knife? Kelly, I'd love to give you a joke, but I can't do a terrible Midwestern accent. He's really good. Yeah. He was so, he's like Rodden. He was supposed to be on radio, not the comedy. I don't know, maybe

gorgeous dance-sodor. I hope you got it. Don't take it away from the white dresses at the comedy clubs. Now, so how did that work? The writing. You could work up, you could wait tables, and then whatever money you make, you could give it to somebody. You're not particularly, is it somebody Is it You I'm fat and from Australia and my ass ho is fucked up I want to turn English. You go. So Jeff, comedy was very different in those days. I'm fucking believe it.

That's what your question, yeah. Comedians took it for granted that they would work with writers in those days. It was kind of accepted. Milton Burrell was my sponsor in the Friars Club. And I got to actually work with him. That's crazy, that was amazing to me. Yeah, he showed it to me in the LA Friars. And not to quote my ass. I was just joking. This is amazing. He said to me one day. He'd like to show it to me.

He'd like Jeff. You want to see something? And I turned around. I thought I said I got loose. It was fucking weird. How big was it? Show me by your mouth. Open your mouth. Actually, it was very big. He and Forest Tucker when when when known as the twin towers Whoa, it was crazy the ones that can't be taken down my terrorism That's how I got to meet Milner wrote jokes about his cock really it was at a friars roast Then I did a joke that he wound up using as his open line I want it if Burles cock had a blonde wig it could pass for Paul Williams Oh, and he's Paul Williams was an happy about that

It's funny because I met Paul Williams. And he's- Paul Williams was an happy about that. It's funny, because I met Paul Williams and he's such a nice guy. You met everybody. I couldn't tell him that joke. Why? Because I was afraid it would offend him, because he's such a nice guy.

You know what? Someone said to me about our live show, which we're gonna get into a little later. Someone said to me when I was, when you guys were coming up and I was fucking with you, and as you guys sat down, we started fucking with whoever was on stage, reminded them of how the roast used to be. Like the roast they do now are so set up and so staged and mean.

And they're, well, they're very mean for it. They're mean, but they're mean-spirited because they don't like each other. Yeah. They don't know each other. You hired a famous comedian or whatever, and you gave them 10 writers, and they wrote the meanest jokes possible because you have to outdo each other.

But what we were doing, it was that fucking funny, we all give a shit about each other. And it was really, you could tell. Like that was like kind of like, some people's favorite part of the night when you guys were doing your standup and we were fucking with each other. Which, you know, it was back in the day,

the roast days to do back in the day, yes, they told these lines, but they also went off on each other. We also asked each other before I wrote for people, I guess there anything that would hurt your feelings that you don't want us to talk about. Right. Because we respected something,

you know, we respected things like that. There are some people who were sensitive about certain things. Right. The idea in those days was not really to hurt somebody's feelings. The meanest roast was the third Chevy Chase roast. He really took it hard. None of his friends showed up and he actually got up at the end of the roast. And he said, I want you to know that this really hurt me. And it was a very weird moment. I heard Danny LL cried, though. Isn't he? Danny LL cried at the Chevy Chase Rose? Isn't he? No, he cried at his roast.

Oh, at his roast. Yeah, I mean, it's really hard because he was like, I do a lot, he was just so sad because he made his show be in New York and, you know, he fought for the New York actors and he really got trashed and then he cried. He's like, you know, I really love the city and I love the people in. I was just trying to bring a show here and he's a very centred he was a bouncer at the improvs did you know that no I don't know he got started the improv freedman open the improv in 63 it started as a coffee shop yeah it was

really not a lot of comedy there it was it was singers actors he built it especially for Broadway actors that were placed to hang out right and it wasn't till around 65 that he turned it into a strictly comedy club because more people were coming for the comedians. And Danny Ayello was his bouncer because he was out of work. He was working on it. What a fucking age. And now, if you want to go, it's on 44th between 9th and 10th,

closer to 9th. It's a great Italian restaurant, Giovanni's. But they kept, if you go there, you can have lunch, but they kept the original brick wall. Oh, did they have a plaque of all the comics that perform? That's why Danny Aiello. That's why Danny Aiello opened a comedy club. I don't know if he had a club called Danny's upstairs, where New Jersey, oh, yeah, it was

above an Italian restaurant because that's, uh, you know, that started his love for comedy right? Cause he's been a comedy guy, even though he's a great actor in war right he's always been into comedy show you know oh sorry I know buddy good Danny Ayala also improvise the line Michael Corleone says hello in the godfather part two did he really sure and the American film Institute ranked it as like the 68th greatest line in history really yeah I love Danny I love Danny he's a great guy but he's a great

actor too. Remember when he was in the, he was in Harlem nights and any wherever he breathed, breathed a, he's very small breaths. And then they cut and Danny, I was just sitting there and he went, just one little, all right, nice talking to you. I love that Lewis can't do regular conversation. He's like when should I implode? When should I just talk about how fat fucking galleons? Do you guys want me to yell out something? Do you guys want me to be me? Look at him, he's just shut down emotional.

In 1965, could you call people, target? Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Whoa, I don't know that word, you know that. 65 could you call people target? Whoa, I don't know a lot word you know that look at him. He's resting his hand You know his finger on his fucking head. You just you can't deal with regular conversation. I'm taking a trip down fucking memory lane mother Fucking Wikipedia Joe list over here to shop some knowledge on man happy about it Milton Burle was one of the best MCs ever. Big virus rose. But he always said don't work blue. That was his advice to all communities that were blue.

And we're gonna have to repul this dick out. And have to pick it up. I know. Wiley had his dick out. He was like, don't remember, Jeffrey, don't work blue. But nobody knows why that was. Mickey Rudy. Mickey, why blue associated with vulgar material?

You have any idea? Why blue? Are you gonna tell me no? Even as push up it was the hippest man in Joe business obviously, right and he had no idea But he was interested in I can't nobody seems to know blue material why that means because blue is sad Blue is depressing blue is blue is in psych psychology is is a not a good color. It's a bad color. Blue is the only color. Well, blue and sperm.

I'm just making this shit up. I thought one of you would jump on with man. Blue, let you sink. Blue is the fifth chakra. Is it in terms of, yeah, it's about communication and change. So it's a very powerful color. But for some reason, it's always been associated with the old guy.

Well, you know, Mickey Rooney said that to Norton too. I have a great picture of Mickey yelling at Norton. That's serious. Yeah, he was like, don't work blue, and he was yelling at Norton. And Norton was like, go fuck this, he's, fuck you, you fuck it. Well, you know the Eddie Murphy story

when he was on SNL, when he first thought it on SNL, Gene Domingian was producing SNL for one year, right? And one night they were running short and she has Joe Piscopo if he would do five minutes at the end now Joe was a big fan of eddies So Joe said why don't you ask eddy so eddy called Richie Tinken in a panic and he goes Richie They want me to do five minutes Richie's like this great one. So what's the problem? He goes well like Curse So Richie's like well don't fucking curse So he does the five minutes saves saves the show, and he cursed.

But so it came time to renew his contract, and Richie goes into meet with Jean, and she goes, young, and renew his contract, and Richie's like, as what? He goes as a featured player. He was making 750 a week. And Richie's like, he saved your show. Don't you think you should make him a contract player?

And she did, and he jumped from 750 to 3000 a week. And that's when Richie started taking up the sentence. That's jumped from 750 to 3000 a week and that's when Richie started taking the sentence. That's all he made was 3000 a week. That's a contract player and those days. Yeah. Yeah. That's what he makes on fucking guy code. But they were making. That's freaking guy code. That's 14. Is that really me? No. What was less than that? Yeah, you guys make four dollars a fucking hand. We're gonna pay them. That's pretty crazy that he made that. Now, let me ask you a question.

I've always wanted to be in the Friars Club. How the fuck do you get into it? Because I know guys that are in it, that probably shouldn't be in it. I'd love to. I'd love to. I'd love to. You can sponsor me.

I thought we were just thinking it. Yeah, really. Yeah, absolutely. So there's two people. You need two people. What do I mean? Who else do I know that's in Friars? Me and Richie Tanken were sponsor. Really? Yeah, absolutely. And now's so many people. You need two people. What am I supposed to know? That's the seller. Me and Richie Tanken were sponsored.

Really? Absolutely. And now you can go there and have dinner. You can do it in lunch. You can get a meeting there. It's a beautiful, it's a mansion. It's a 50% apartment Madison. Can I bring people in?

Absolutely. Like even if they're not in the Friars Club to have a meeting. No, once you're a member, you can bring in anybody you want. And they have the Milton Borrel room and the Billy Crystal bar And you could go wherever you want I've done comedy in the air and Denver has a iron hand Aaron Abert does like Thursday night It's a fuck Aaron Aaron Aaron

I want to do a show there being a jerk off somewhere. No, absolutely got something that you're interested. I want to do that That is my I would love to do beyond it to bring you I was I would love to. I was 100% serious about that last day. Let me ask you how many history, man. Let me ask comedy history. Well, yeah, because here's the deal, you got a million stories about comedy. But you say that you, I know you're a fan of comics. I know you're a fan of good comedy.

And here you are the other night at Access Live, a friend Lewis J. Gomez, who I'll say it, I know you guys fuck with each other, but he did a great job. No. I don't like his new maniacal laugh he worked on at his house. Hey, B, what do you think of this one? I don't know. Fuck you, I know.

Listen, that's the way the argument went all right, whatever I think you did a great job. I was watching it Last joke didn't do that great, but wow Scobo taking a shot. I was there, you know first I love Chris, Mizzily and I love Gotham and I go there all the talk You're at the comedy show. I love like, a couple of shows. Yeah. Well, no one is so cool. Okay. He actually talked about my book, which is about the strip,

on the Comedy Cell of Pidecast. Right. Yeah. You know, people respect certain things. We respect each other. Absolutely. But you're a question about that. So you're there at the club,

and you're at the club. I'm gonna say this, not everybody was great on that show. Absolutely not. Not everybody was great. I mean, everybody did good. Everybody did a good job. He felt the lineup and then I'll

try to have a name. So I don't even know the lineup to be honest. It was Mendrinos, then Nick Vetterat, then Will Silvens. Who hosted? I love Will Silvens. Angela Johnson. I love Will Silvens.

Well, Silvens is so good and funny. Amazing. I don't know if you had any. Angela Johnson's amazing. No, Nick Vetterat. Nick Vetterat. Um, I co-produced a, uh, a benefit for Haiti in 2010. Angela Johnson's amazing no Nick a better at I co-produced a Benefit for Haiti in 2010 starting Kevin Hart and Tony rock was the feature and will still Vince came in a

Fuck you showed up on a wrap. He killed it was the first time see anybody knew what he was saying He's the hysterical. He's the best. I had him got shirts made now. I had him do my read a couple weeks ago for Hulu Plus. He couldn't say Hulu. Hulu. Hulu.

Hulu. It's the funniest. Hulu Plus. Hulu Plus. Hulu Plus. I love it. They tried to do a Haitian comedy festival a few years ago when 42nd Street was the left factory. There were so few Haitian comedy festival a few years ago when 42nd Street was the left

factory there was so few Haitian comedians the opening act was a white guy yeah that's how Ben was Will's events was the only official he had so right so that brought him a little closer right to screw it gee can you fucking gong yourself in the head what that was funny just because of you you. That was a funny joke. That was a funny joke. No, it's not.

It's typical age joke. I know you used to age a lot. You do. You have AIDS just in the gun all the time. No, but the best part about that is that Lewis thinks that Haiti is in Africa. No, that's not true. Actually, Haiti is a huge HIV population.

Not as bad as Africa. No, after people in Africa have AIDS. Different. No, that's not true. Actually, there are points of Africa where nearly 50% of the people of AIDS yeah you can say that about a fucking village no country motherfucker look it up We look it up I like Lewis Jay Gomez's approach to Raising awareness of AIDS in Africa where he goes look it up motherfucker. Yeah 50% of the whole fucking continent

Book control and good AIDS no they don't. I get, there's like, it's like 46% of certain countries. Of certain countries, but not the whole country. First of all, the whole continent. I mean, the continent, that's what I'm saying. I mean, the continent, that's what I'm saying. I never said continent, you did. No, all right, I thought you were saying continent.

You said Africa, which means continent. You said Africa. Play it back. Did he not say Africa? africa it could mean the song uh... uh... uh... fucking toto man

that fucking toto man that can work out that dj voice hey that was a double shot of toto which was africa twice next we get striper yeah get ready for some dacin. But you're sitting there in the crowd you're watching all the show and

then you see this this fucking ass and they're like they taught a monkey to speak. But one thing I noticed till you look good on camera. No you did. You look great. You have your own style and good presence Man great presence you did your jokes great. I look I Don't like them. They're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're the they're Which I think is the essence of Lewis that night he just did well and I wanted him to know you know like There's a thing about creative people. They need to be reaffirmed You know it's it's one thing where comics reg on each other all the time for some reason that seems to be part of the thing That people do but yeah, but I come from a different place, you know I also write you know my comedy matters blog. I never write if somebody did something bad

Then there's a reason for that if I don't like what you did I don't write about it Because I respect everybody that gets up on a stage because I know how fucking hard it is to get up on a stage Right and do what you think is funny, and so I won't write if somebody has a Never written anything about Joe list. I never know. Okay. I never write But but when I see somebody who does something good, I believe you've actually written it on me a couple of times. But when I see somebody who does something good, I believe in telling Joe can't take one hit.

No, he's mysterious. I let the joke get its laugh, then pause, and said, you actually haven't mentioned me a couple of times. Yeah, I appreciate it. Well, if I see that something... There's a lot of names in that head, Joe. If I see that somebody does something good, I think it's important to do that. Because comics go off and they wonder, did I really do well, do people enjoy it? And I like to do that.

It makes me feel good to tell somebody, I think you're good, man. I think you have something going on. And you were very close to Patrice. So Patrice and I had a very interesting relationship. We were very close. I was his third co-host on the Black Phillips show. And people used to say, we never put each other down. We didn't have that kind of relationship.

We didn't make fun of each other in any kind of way. We just didn't do that. I didn't relate to him on that level. You're not that guy. I'm not that guy. You're not that guy. Exactly. I've never done that with you either.

No. No, you're just not that guy. Yeah, exactly. ¿Qué es eso? ¿Qué es eso? ¿Qué es eso? ¿Qué es eso? ¿Qué es eso? ¿Qué es eso? ¿Qué es eso? ¿Qué es eso? ¿Qué es eso? ¿Qué es eso? ¿Qué es eso? ¿Qué es eso?

¿Qué es eso? ¿Qué es eso? ¿Qué es eso? ¿Qué es eso? ¿Qué es eso? ¿Qué es eso? ¿Qué es eso? ¿Qué es eso?

¿Qué es eso? ¿Qué es eso? ¿Qué es eso? ¿Qué es eso? ¿Qué es eso? ¿Qué es eso? ¿Qué es eso? ¿Qué es eso? ¿Qué es eso? que significa que ya puedes aprovecharte del 3 por 1 en medianas a domicilio solo pidiendo el line. ¿Saparao? 3 por 1, 3 por 1, ah no no no. ¡Dominos! Pitsa.

Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelas desde Madrid a Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros! Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Well, this is, this is segwaying, and this is segwaying into something that I wanted to talk about.

You know, I went on the internet, and Lewis says, I yelled at him. I didn't yell at him. I talked to him, but you consider it being yelled at. It's just, I get disappointed. To kick me off the show. They did not.

I did not. You're out of your mind. You don't listen to yourself, bud. I would never kick you off the show. I would never get people to list the money. I did not. You're out of your mind. You don't listen to yourself, bud. I would never kick you off the show. I would never get people to listen to me. I never articulated how many people in the world don't like me. No, that's not it. That's not it.

You hear what you want to hear. You're not listening to what I'm saying. You know, seriously, you're fucking here what you want to hear. I said to you that I don't like to fucking have negative shit around this show. I don't like the thing I like about you is that you're a protector. You're not a destroyer. All right, no matter how fucking crazy you're mean or fucked up things you say, you really give a shit about the people you care about and you protect them.

You don't fucking rip people down and hurt them. That's why I like you because you look like you'd be that guy. I am the new knockout champion in Jersey City. So, but, but what I was saying to you is that I said there's a lot of people that I got, when you first came on the show, a lot of people didn't like you. A lot of people sent emails. What this fucking guy? Joe's point. You know how long it takes to set up a fake Gmail? Joe and I were busy. But I don't care. I don't care about that. I see I know that you're funny. I know that you're a good person and I know you're coming from a good place even when you get carried away. I know so those people if I acknowledge these people are perpetuated or let it go on

I explain to them in the emails. You don't understand. He's very funny He's kidding around. He's fucking hilarious blah blah blah and people come around you and I I've talked about it on the show The guy that fucking hated you. I've said it on the show that we all care about each other We anybody have on the show for the regulars Even the other comics like you're talking about I give a shit about comics that we all care about each other. We, anybody have on the show for the regulars, even the other comics, like you're talking about, I give a shit about comics. People are afraid to do this show

because of what the fuck goes on on the show. There's people starting to be like, I don't wanna be around it, because I can't handle it. That's not what I want. I don't want that. Who's afraid to do the show? None of your business.

Fucking homo is afraid to do this show. I understand what you're saying.'t want that i was afraid to do the show it's not a big deal fucking home i was afraid to do this because it could be that shit like that right there but i i felt like i was walking into a family thing to be honest with you i understand what you're saying but i think comedians are smart their wordsmiths and if you can get them to have a conversation a lot of interesting shit comes here's a thing though is that i you know like the thing that i was taught what talking about is this for i don't even know as fucking name

and say same no whatever i don't know is that i don't, like the thing that I was talking about is this, I don't even know his fucking name. Don't say the same. No, whatever. I don't know his name. A little shooter face. Say his name. No, because you don't even get one follow-up. Just shut the fuck up and let me say this. What I'm saying is, okay, very nice.

Well, family environment. Well, because you guys are talking, who gives a fuck about this guy? I'm trying to, I wanna, you guys are talking about this fucking horse shit. What I'm saying is, is this, is your family environment by the way. You should feel fucked up. I would like you guys are talking about this fucking horseshit. What I'm saying is, is this, is your family environment, by the way? You should show up on the agenda.

I was like, this is way less violent than my family would. So, what I'm saying is, is that I get on the thing, and I don't mind when people trash Kelly, me, you, Fatso, Dummy, Monkey, fucking flat face. What? Small mouth. You know what I mean? That's insensitive, fuck. Let's stick to the task and hand here. When I go on the fucking, I go on Twitter

and I read this guy's feed and it's literally just fucking attacking Kelly over and over and over. Fucking you're not funny. Fuck you. Kelly for stucco sucks. Oh, and then I read all the other shit. I'm like, what the, yeah's I understand it I get it but there comes a point where it's like all right can we move the fuck on we got

deactivate the account yeah right I got too much money on t-shirt you guys know to my let me just say this you guys go to my new website Kelly for circus funny for a girl dot com Brand new there's something about anonymity that allows people to be really fucking yeah Well, and this guy only has one speed. I just read all this tweets and he has one speed. It's fuck you die And here's the thing when he tweeted back to me. I was like I wrote back. Okay. Thank you I can block you now because you're not a fan You're a fan of Lewis, but he's really not even a fan of him He turned on me. I said one nice thing. I'll tell you what he's a fan of Lewis, but he's really not even a fan of him. He turned on me.

I said one nice thing to me. He said, I'll tell you what he's a fan of, negativity. He's a bully. That's why he's got school shooter face. So, let me get this. So you can pick on a fucking chick who's been doing a girl who's been doing it three years. Just fucking a attacker over and over.

That's fucking somehow That's cool. Wait, what's your name for three years? That's a book. That's exactly I really want to have this conversation Lewis. I know you're joking But I really want to have this conversation because I'm really this needs to be fucking sad Yeah, no, I know you're gonna fucking throw your quips in every second But I want you to fucking really not No, I know you're gonna fucking throw your quips in every second, but I want you to fucking really not disengage from this. I really want you and you and everybody to fucking,

I wanna talk about this. There's people online that feel entitled to just criticize everything. That guy doesn't make shit, he doesn't make anything. So all he does is destroy shit by going after Kelly. Kelly's trying, Kelly's giving a good effort. So I don't even give a fuck What Kelly you do you do?

Do what you fucking do. I don't care. That's up to you how funny you are how you progress in your career and god But here's the thing is that I you know I saw it was it was this stuff that Lewis was perpetuating with your Kelly stinks every fucking show It's about Kelly suck and Kelly's stink she's not funny Kelly and it's funny and I get it but then there's the fucking website now you're building up you're building up these people that are fucking rallying behind fuck somebody on this show and it's not because you're a girl you're not a whole either I didn't have you on the show because I wanted a woman's fucking point of view

You're on the show because you wanted to help out. That's it. I can do this You know on the show because you were the funniest chick I've ever met I can do this you want to be on the show scopo the same thing, okay? You guys Scopo is the funny chick. I've ever been scopo is the whole of the show Brought in that all right, I don't know that. But, you know, I don't want to fucking be on a show that's gonna hurt you guys. I don't want people to come on this show and not have them help them.

I want all this, we should all be fucking helping each other. This business is way too hard. We can have fun, we can fuck around. But when you start believing your own hype and you believe the accolades and you start fucking getting fans, because, you know, oh my god I've never had fucking fans and these people are on my side and you're gonna you gotta check them because look what you did you checked them and all of a sudden He's like fuck you. Yeah, well that's what I here's what I said about Kelly. I said look Kelly's literally do that last episode We did what you weren't there

Soater if Kelly wasn't in the room we would have fucking talked about nothing we would have stared at our fucking hands Like Kelly's pussy sis that shit was game the room again bananas, okay? In hilarious an amazing show Kelly is a very important ingredient in the show and I truly do believe that Let's not get carried away. She has no Here's the truth in a cake. There's all always ingredients like nobody's just drinking vanilla extract on its own I've got horrible. I've got it. This is horrible, but you need the vanilla extract in order to make the fucking cake And that's what Kelly. She's vanilla extract and you need a guy to make terrible analysis The fact is she has coming out of her pussy

You're saying is very important talking to the mic. It's about camaraderie. I hear that. Yeah, it's about camaraderie I've arisen enough of that and that's what one you know, it's fine to pay people down hanging Yeah, oh, so to posted a picture me on Instagram today, and I added a six new Instagram followers But do you understand like on a second letting go the rest of the show? Instagram followers. But do you understand like honestly, I'm not letting go of the rest of the show. They're holding hands. Here's, but that's the shit that the fans of the show, however many there are. I want them.

I want them to fucking know that, you know, I don't want it to be a, I want them to fucking go see you. I don't want people to hate you and think you're there. I want them to understand and I'm of that, you know what, if you're on the show, there's something about you that's good or funny. You know, and then new people on the show. People are scared to come on the show. I mean, that's the word. That people look like I don't, I don't want to just be gunned down. It's mostly because I break down and crying. Every time I tell people about the show, Don't you kind of like that to the- Listen, doesn't that fucking add up a sneak of funness?

It does. People are like, I don't know, that's not really like this. Be- Funness is not a word. I personally fucking love it. People work, I don't know, I'm not necessarily my thing. I don't- You fucking right is not your thing.

But it- You fucking gotta hear you. That's Joe's Bostonian coming out. You wanna fucking fight with me, dude. Fuck you, dude. But here's the proof. Tom Brady. We have Jeff in here and he's doing fine.

He's interesting. There's stories. There's shit. I love hearing stuff like that. And he's sitting here. You can come on the show. We're not fucking assholes. We're not mean people.

We're funny people. There's a big difference between mean and funny. And what the fuck goes on, and I don't, you're not mean to me, Lewis. That's what I wasn't yelling at you. I was, I was like, dude, I don't, this shit disappoints me when I see this fucking asshole. And what did I say to you though? I said mean Kelly. I've already had a conversation. And we're in a good, we're in a good place. Why was that conversation? We fucked and then I said, Kelly, get me a pizza.

They rolled over and he's like, oh yeah. I've been waiting for that. Yeah, but how did you come to that realization? Can you talk about that? No, I was, because people fucking treated you like shit. Yeah, and I was like, people fucking didn't fucking think,

didn't think you were funny, said negative shit about you. People that should be supporting you, should be helping you, weren't, they were actually fucking you, and making you feel like shit in your life, right? And you realize that, because it was like enough, because now you have people who would actually

give a shit about you and help you and believing you, and that's a whole new thing for you, right? It's true. And now, this one, I don't give a fuck, Kelly, if you make it, you make it, and believing you and that's a whole new thing for you. Right? True. And now, and now this one, I don't give a fuck. Kelly, if you make it, you make it, that's up to you. I'm not, I'm fucking right, don't right. I'm gonna make it after all.

I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna make it after all. This is what, you know what, right? Show. What's his name? He's right. Fuck, school shooter face. That's that fucking website backup. Get that cool back fucking loser back on.

It was really interesting because that day there, we were talking and you just, like Lewis was just telling a story about something happened and I was like, oh that's really shit Lou. I'm like, do you realize that's exactly what you do to me? Anyway, no, no, it's different. And it was like a poll as he went, okay, I got it. Well, look, I'm sure the matter is different,

but I get the sentiment and I get, like I'm not, I got it. Well, look, it's not the matter, it's different. But I get the sentiment and I get, like I'm not, I don't do anything in my, everything I do in my career, every fucking minute I'm awake, everything, every decision, every phone call I make, it's all about getting myself further in my career. And this is the same thing with you, and we should all respect that.

And nobody's paying attention because the studio's going to part. Because Joe's got to go in and get a candy bar because his energy level's down. You always got to be a good bit. I had a good thing that was going to happen and I knocked over. He's got to keep his immune system up.

Take the Bobby and put him away. Bobby's got it. He's got it. Put the Bobby over there. Lay him on the bed. No, Bobby this show. You just stepped all over my body. Jeffrey Geary is in the studio.

Oh, hey, it's already. So I wanted to say that when you were saying, to my Jeff that when you were when you were talking about Yeah, I hear the great Right there. Okay. I am moving. I got a cool. No, I think it's very important that you brought that up And I like the idea. I think this is gonna be a great show that when you think back about the show You're talking about something real right? Right. I think comedians are really smart their words myths They know how to we're also play with words we also know psychology i think that comets for all the fucking dick jokes that we do where we can

size somebody up in secretary seconds absolutely absolutely and the situation you know whether people are comfortable or not right yeah and i think and so comedians have a lot to say and so it's not just about putting each other down. Guys seem to feel that they need to do that. And that's why I was talking about that. Look, there's some thoughts in fucking high school. It's something hilarious when comics attack each other, who care about each other.

There's nothing funnier on earth. That's great. Exactly. There's nothing funny on earth. But you made the point that some people are afraid to come on the show. When I listened to the show before I came on, it occurred to me, now, you know,

that shit might go down, but I'm like, okay, that's fine, I can handle whatever it is. But, you know, because I wanted to be on with you. Look, and Joe, I agree with you. I, this show is, what? Can we turn the lights off because fucking Dan is being hypnotized?

It's destructive. Yeah, dude, this is the fifth time I've looked over and you're just staring into the lights. Because it's going green, that's the blue. What the fuck are you, a baby? I'm a stoner. There's pretty much a lot. I'm just not high, but I can be.

Joe, I trust it's a bright light. I understand what you're saying. This does have a mistake. It is a fucking rough room. But not anybody should be able to do it. Not anybody but here's the thing anybody can come in and try anybody can come in the room and sit down and I'm not a I'm not gonna I'm not gonna I don't I don't I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings I'm not into that shit I'm really not and that's's why you left. I got to find a sentence. I'm not inter-herting.

People's feelings. I'm really not inter-heating. People make and feel like, you know, I feel like shit when I come off the show. I love when Joe's like, I love the show. I love doing the show. And that's how it should be. And I love when somebody I don't know comes in here

and they sit down and we have a blast. We have like Phil when he came in and Mike Lawrence, is that his name Mike Lawrence? Yeah, Mike, with the big beard. Yeah, which is the Brooklyn comedy look these days, right? You don't like that? You have to look at that. He just likes the Lord's hack.

You just can't get talking about not trashing people. No, I'm in the attraction. Mike Lawrence is hysterically funny, but I don't welcome him at all. I always talk to him about his beard. I think it's very interesting that there's a section people like lorins is hysterically funny but i don't welcome roll enough to you i always talk to him about his beard i think it's very interesting that there's a section of the city where if you do comedy you must have a large beard and it is it's like it's a thing man

it's a big thing that was my wreck you have to look like the uniform or like you just left a small cabin in the woods bobby i want to say yeah good something about little is the only i actually even though he busts my balls. He does he does help me I did a set and you came over to me and you're like no don't do that last joke the way you did it No, no, I did something like this he gets a light. Yeah, I'm hosting a show. He gets a light And then he starts going into crowd work like it. He saw as a bit to do. He's got a minute left

He panic. He fucking has a little he was searching for something I know you help me though. Now I know you shouldn't do crowd work when you get the light. Go into a joke. I was nothing worse than someone getting the light and be like, what do you do? Yeah. Well, you're not getting off. Exactly what he said. Five fucking minutes. Well, even like when I watch your set on access TV, I'm watching it. And I'm going to I want to give you a value. I did. You did a great job. I'm going to say that. I'm going to say it to the fans of this show, you're fucking funny.

There was things that you did, you kept looking to the right, you know, you were, Bobby called me and for 45 minutes, we had a conversation about the set and he gave me fucking pointers. And it was all amazing shit. You know, you don't really get, that's an invaluable thing to have somebody who has

42, 43 years experience in the business, call you up. And I was giving you some fucking jet. But if people help each other with their lines, like if you see a friend and you think that you could make his line funnier, would you feel funny telling me in New York and do it all the time? Yeah, all the time. Me at that comedy seller table we do. I do it.

I've asked for lines. Amy, you know, Schumer Schumer Will has done that a bunch of times and Colin will come up and say yeah, we do that a lot I think we don't do it enough. I don't think we do it enough. Well, there's like egos involved Like you might be more popular. It was a more popular thing But if you give me if I have the premise I understand now that if you have you have to come up with your own voice You have to have your own outlook on shit But I would love a fucking Joe gave me a line or one of you guys will hey, this is funny And I think I think when you're doing a special to I think we put together an hour that I would you know

Dude come watch this set tell me where it needs to be let's watch that's what rock Yeah, yeah, all fucking The rock. Yeah, the rock when he does an hour stand up Yeah, that's all fucking The rock. Yeah, the rock when he doesn't hour stand up. He's funny. He uh I'll tell you you know Lewis's energy makes him invaluable and also Dispensable at the same time Well that fucking when he goes into that range of uncle humor What is that oh the rock?

Your mom was a whore in high school. All right We're gonna my little gong thing, the idea that I had. He needs a blanket. 20 years late. It really is the uncle. He really is? Oh, well, who's going to be there with the rock? Just kidding. All right.

You want a burger or a hot dog? Well, obviously, fucking get a burger hot dog and ice cream. You look like you could want both. Just kidding. Your mom mom's gonna kill me Again Your uncle Steve's gay But I yes, what are you doing? He's lighting us lighting the bit Because it's not short it's not short and quipping

We're just doing the shirt. Where'd you get that shirt? Where did you get that shirt? No, I'm being the f**king comic on stage Oh, I have the kind of answer for real now Yeah, three of the exact same shirts I just wear it all the time It's a beer shirt Can I try a bit right now? What do you think of this?

All my shirts are alcohol related Like quit drinking, people give me shit for it It's like I rooted for a team my whole life And then they moved away and now I just have to still you can do a premise there Yeah, but the funny thing is not that the team moved away that the team was destroying you That's the funny. Oh, that could be funny. Yeah, and then also Some guy was like what you don't drink and you're wearing a Guinness shirt. He was wearing a polo shirt Okay, this is gonna go very 60's Quick pull them up Milton Burrons, pull your dick out.

Does anybody have any cringies? No, I'm not. He's out. Yeah. I have any cringies. Cringies. My leg's really hard. Kelly has some inner pants.

Kelly, pussy's gross. Oh, weird. Hi, mate. I was thinking cottage cheese. I made a good guy. Weird I was thinking cottage cheese Louis people ask me like is really Hightie channel My Louis is my brother like I you don't mean like I love him to death, you know

My sister but like a black thing No, I don the way I'm doing. It's nice, Chef. Uh, no, I don't look. Me and Kelly are fucking friends. When someone, when a guy almost hit her with a can outside of the fan, I almost fucking beat the, I almost went to jail for her, that's also because you had an untamed temper. You're an animal.

Here's the thing though, everybody's gonna get, you know, you're not funny, you stink, whatever. I thought you were giving away prizes. I was like, oh, I'm looking under my seat. Please tell me it's a picture of me and my dad. How you in only chat? Now I got an older sister. You do?

Where? Wow. Can I tell this? Louis pulled the greatest move ever on Nate and I. About six years ago we're at Nate's old place. But my sister has since lost weight. Okay, but he's going through my space. He's going through my space.

Well, I was really fat. He's going through my space pictures and he's like, look at this chick. Look at this pig that I fucked. And Nate and I are like, oh, it's so gross. He was, that's my sister. It's my sister you dacker. What? What did you do that?

You did it. You did it, then. That's why I love Luke. Yeah. I got Larry. Because he's out of his fucking mind. But he was like, he sold it so well to Nate night He's like look at this dumb, but I never do rose it. The rose

So I'm talking about beaches before he knew we were together. Yeah, this beaches worked at Eastville Yeah, I was like waitress is really hot. I was like yeah, dude. She is right? Yeah, I was like what would you do to her? He's like oh fuck man what I would do is like my fucking girlfriend bro What do you say? Oh, I'm sorry, I mean to, bro. I didn't mean to just fold it into himself. Let me let it under the board. Try to turn it into Dean Martin. Let me get you a drink. Let me, on me, I fucked up, my bag.

Hey, listen pal. Hey, buddy. Hey, babe, babe. Let me get you a joke. Two, hey, two scratches on me, babe. Listen man. It's old Joey Roses. Yeah, but I mean, listen, getting back to this

and just cleaning up this topic before we go to break Because I think Joe has to pee right for sure No post-chairs about the break He's a beanbag for that You're fatter than me. Oh, but my ass isn't yeah But your body weight will fucking break the chair What if you're real dude? Stupid fucking joky dead.? Well, look at your hair.

What was the joke? My ass will break the chair when it's really body. Does that hurt your feelings, Chris? It hit me a little bit. Skoopo's ass is like Thor's hammer. Oh, that was shit. It's 900 billion elephants. Oh, yeah.

When I beat up people, I just sit on them and they fucking go, fuck. The Yoko Zoom is them. Bobby, just talk about this. We're all supposed to be be nice No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no in two seconds. We'll be. We got to guess it was back in 63 when eating my cook and got to better. Check it out. Everybody go to tweetaudio.com. We love tweetaudio. I love headphones. Everybody has a cell phone.

Everybody is listening to music or talking on your phone. And there's one thing you can count on with headphones. You will lose them. And with tweakedaudio.com, right now, the fans of this show, you get hooked up. Go there, use the code word dude, and you get 33% off, free shipping, lifetime, limited warranty. And they get a bunch of different styles and sizes,

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the Netflix of video gaming. Make sure you go there, go to GameFlight.com the Netflix of video gaming. Make sure you go there go to GameFlight.com slash YKWD that's our page get two weeks free or 15 days I should say 15 days it's unbelievable you get to try the games out they have the newest games Grand Theft Auto 5 Diablo all the greatest new games and you get to try them out or keep them, whatever you want to do, first as long as you want. And it's on us for 15 days, free. Check that out. All right. I want to thank all the people that donated. You guys are amazing. The show is always free, but the ones that do donate, you know, we love that you love the show and

you're helping us out. With all these donations go back into the show. I don't use this shit for cab fare. It all goes back into buying shit for the show, the studio and stuff like that. So you guys are amazing. I want to think, of course, how the graves we love you. And Tony Martin, Ian Rice, Erin, Atechanson, and Paramount Limousines. You guys are fantastic. Thanks for supporting the YKW did show. You guys have any questions.

You guys have any suggestions. Not really, but I mean, you can try. Email us at YKWwd at riotcast.com We get all the emails we listen to them. We try to get back to you We appreciate all the fan mail and all the people who love the show If there's people on the show you we haven't heard yet email us We love to have new people on all the time as well. They're as well as those are rather bad regulars That's when you know I got to stop the go back to the show and I just start mumbling.

I just like hearing my voice, I'm in a room alone right now and I see the sound on the garage band and my little mic and I could just talk forever. Uhhh, uuuhhh. You are listening to Robert Kelly's. You know what dude podcast on my cast.com I don't know I don't know we're on the air though. Let's go back ready. We're back guys. All right, so check it out We are back. I don't like the way that you answered so quickly Daniel. What do you mean? Nope? Nope, no, I don't know. Can I just say something? I don't be mad that he can give me a gift I'm not mad that you know you're a little jealous. Don't why come on a jealous But you know you can say the truth. Make sure no one gets left out. All right. Here's the deal. Here's a deal. You know what?

Dude everybody's gonna feel shitty When you get left out but fucking whatever Whatever I get left out how many times I brought in packages that they just gave to you that was very nice of them right very nice Dan is that guy Dan is the fucking likeable guy who is this the new flavor school shooter doesn't like me gorgeous Dan school shoes I'm like first of all can I tell you Dan is doing what Dan is doing right now he's trying to get school shooter that's corporate fucking Dan at work Robert, please. Yeah, if I knew Kelly was gonna be hurt by not getting a gift Ha, I wouldn't have got her so give her the under the giant

Here you go. You know what I'm so telly take Donna, you gonna have you gonna have done a Perfectly the giant you should have who is done a tele for you should have done a telly You'll like a turtle because he has a joke about tangent Who is Donatella for you should have done it tell you're like a turtle Cuz he has a joke about tangent that's the same thing that happens. Yeah, I got you hold on Dan got two gifts and Kelly didn't get in too one that he putted a garage sale You got a statutory ape and I'm giving this to Kelly cuz I got I got fucking Turn it down now the with jizz on them. I think Jerks off to MMA Anyway, this is son though. All right, so Joe. What are you doing?

I'm trying to Instagram a picture of Andre the Giant in the foreground and Dan's giant head in the background. All right, so let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's touch it. Let's get back focused. Let's, we're back from break. There it is. Look, I just want to say Lewis, I didn't yell at you too.

I fucking, we had a conversation as friends about this. Are we friends now? Oh, yeah, we're friends. We're friends Oh, yeah, we're friends now. Yeah, we're officially friends Yeah, we're for say it. Yeah, you're one of my friends. I Want to have you and be over for dinner and your kid your friend am I will not be your friend because I kind of devalues our friendship These more than a friend Be sucks. Would you let a little baby James play a little baby Max? Oh Baby James play with a little baby Max never John bone Jones retweeted my fucking vine

That's because you kid you kid cross right? Well he calls like John Jones with one knee down and one I know you taught him that so you beat it into No one leg James James Oh hit you when you're undeveloped school John Jones is the light heavyweight champion of the world possibly the greatest MMA fighter How many followers does he have probably million two million? Yeah, wow I've gotten 20 retweet since he listened listen very Lewis Gomez that's not really a lot of Lewis Gomez right now is in a I love it. I just came

I love seeing this is what I love about Lewis He was about to fucking give up move to LA and fucking up Well, if you want to LA if you want to LA he'd be just another Mexican Be training at some weird gym in Koreatown Now he stayed he stayed here. He's fucking in his career is popping off a lot of great shit's happening So I love it. I love seeing shit like popping off. Yeah, I got good. I got other good news today that'll tell you off the air Right awesome awesome, so and I love that because he fucking he you canceled everything you lost money You took a hit my relationship is on the rocks. Yeah, but that's the fuck, that's when shit happens.

When you just believe in your fucking self and do what the fuck you do, and somebody else believes in you too. It's the, if you've ever seen the movie Never Been Kissed, you know, that's seen always stuck with me. I fuck you, dude, I don't make faces. The scene always. That's same with that, though.

Damn, what's wrong with that? No, that's great. No, that's not great. First of all, it was just and Alba's breakout role. And you're right. And you're right. And this is a lesson that I learned in fever pitch. Which is that Lewis Sucks are talking for both stories from movie.

Lewis, do me a favor. I want you to punch Jeffrey in the head for using his phone on the show. No, no, no, I would not. I'm kidding. He's getting a picture of a right killer show. Look out nervous on the show. No, no, no, no, no nerd. Like she's not cool. Who is in that movie? This Drew Barrymore and David Arcatt is her brother. Dean, I don't understand why you're so angry right now. It reminds me of the night I was gonna audition

for the seller and I watched bridges of medicine coming to play. Just to fire me up for it. I wanna say it with this guy's late. Come on. But there's a, she comes back to school and she sucks it. She's a fucking nerd still. And then the next next day her brother who happened to be popular in high school

Somebody give Jeff's a piece of paper to pens we can read a joke. Yeah Then she comes home. She's all upset and then her brother the next day ends up going back to school again Yeah, she's like what the fuck you doing here? And he's like you just need one person to think you're cool That's it and then everybody else is gonna fucking believe it, because people are fucking shoot. And that's the truth. Was that Bobby for you? Kind of, yeah.

There's been a lot of people. Bobby pretended to be in high school. So that's your cool. Damn. Like, Dan wins lunch. Dan is in lunch for the fifth period, Dan. Dan. Dan, I'm not going to Jim class.

Dan. Dan. I'm gonna pull up, Dan that dude I'm gonna pop up stick I didn't like pull up There's my stomach Oh shit Oh Kelly

Something We don't know what the fuck to do She really is just the terro Terri Shive of comedies Even small Even small finger movement you're like she's back back when a bobby did pull up they didn't call them that they called them bar bends

it's not bad I don't know what's funny I genuinely doesn't count on any fucking vote that's a lie that's a lie scopo smiling creepily I love that you don't the fucking don't listen dick dick head slap here's a laugh. Go smile, and creepily. I love that you dong the fucking dong. Listen, dickhead slap.

Here's a deal. I just to wrap up this whole first half of the show. You guys have to understand that we all give a shit about each other, and we all help each other off this fucking show. And we need you fans, the only thing that we ask from you, laugh at us, laugh at our pain, have fun, do whatever the fuck, every week it's free, it's free. Guys, go down, register to vote.

Learn about your local stuff. But all the things we ask, make food, send it. Help me move. Oh, it's a mess with us. Maybe come to a show, donate some money. Buy headphones. There's only 18 fans 18 things we need there's an 18 point take your friends phones In reality in reality though be fans. That's it be fans of our shit and support us

And yeah, you can bust our balls. You can do your shit. Just be funny. Don't be mean Don't be fucking mean don't don't set out to just fucking ruin somebody's day and be hurtful. Yeah, it's the other thing people think because we're entertainers and because we're on, you know, stage or whatever it is that they're... To take it. I like doing this call on them so they're gonna entertain it. Why is it called Kelly a comic? Come on. Um... Yeah.

Sorry, that was funny. You know what's gonna be great is when Kelly goes to a rooftop of the high-powered sniper rifle. It just starts picking people off. But she's not even good at that. She's like, oh, mate, did I shoot him right? No, yeah, the way you were doing it. You know how hard is he gonna woman comic, a girl comic on this show? None of them want to do it.

My girlfriend would love to do it any time. I said a, you had her on nine years ago. I said, you know, when she she sat here, she's got balls. You had a picture to fucking call. She said, a whole thing. Yeah, she said two things. Kelly, maybe she just a little time to get comfortable. Thank you, darling.

I'm kidding, Joe. I loved your girlfriend in the show. Why don't we have your girl back on? But I'm talking about- But I was saying you fucking jerk off. Look at how tough you get. She's got TV credits. Fucking blasting joke comes out of you.

Fucking, you know, I take my lady on this show Adrian Apple did Letterman yesterday. Yeah, I love come on today. I want her on I love Adrian Why didn't she come on I told her to ask you she she just come on why is she not on? I know she did let him in yeah, she's gonna be a tomorrow tomorrow Just come on why is she not on no she did let him in yeah, she's gonna be a tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow Tomorrow Next week I'm gonna ask her on to the couch. Let's on her to do really he fuck her on the couch crazy Well, that's great good for her. She I liked her a lot. She's such a great joke right great. Yeah, she's great great She's very absolute. It's not a little bit of a backend and compliment. I said the same great joke right here

Why why you don't say you say funny great comment. You're funny. She's funny You don't say somebody's a great joke writer because that means they said they're the joke technically was good Technically it was sound, but it was I'm not into that. She's funny. She's very funny Say it better. She's funny Fuck oh you I was compliment her. I like why I like Adrian Appleucci. She's funny as shit I'll take take back you dumb Instagram follow you with your dumb free liquor t-shirts You're living in the past you're living in the past Joe People say they're a good dark water when they're an asshole in real life, you know, I could that I want to say

You think you know I like hatred! You think she has no charisma on stage? Shut up, Lewis! No! You would fuck her? I would. I would.

Oh, leave it here. Wow. We're just shut down. Uh, uh, are you a fucker? No! No! The coke's getting in it. I'm all getting all fired up over here.

You can tell because he's blinking 90 times a second. So Jeff, back to you. Joe. We should get onto me for God's sake. We get it. Lewis. Lewis. Christ say, because I'm 19 years in over here. Oh, fuck.

We always save Lewis's career. Hooray, another guy passing me. You know, just like Lewis has uncle sensing sensing humor Joe really does have like fun restaurant owner from the 60s Sensing humor. I'm gonna be a job, but I'm not gonna budget I have a phone out of the wheel get a couple apple pies over here Pasta Jeffrey Yeah, of course not Yeah, kidding of course not

Jeffrey yes, Robert So you've been in comedy for how long? 30 years and you wrote this book. What is this book? Yeah, this book is called make it Is this what you wanted to come on for? No, I want to come on to be on with you actually I was you have something that came out. I was well. I was a day in New York and got moved okay I produced a gallery recently for Suzy Esman. Okay. And Greg Kelly came and he's like, and I performed. I opened for Suzy and because I produced,

so I got a good spot. Right. And he's like, you're funny, man. I want you to come on the show. And it was gonna be today this morning. Right, but I'm sorry, tomorrow. You got bumped. I, well, not, not necessarily.

They asked me, they want to prepare some of my stuff. So they asked if I could wait a week or two. And I'm day well not bump necessarily. They asked me they want to prepare some of my stuff so they asked if I could wait a week or two and I'm like yeah fine that's great. Oh she's going on a couple weeks. Yeah. And that's good morning America. No good day New York. Good day with Greg Kelly and Rosanna Scotto. Okay great. Yeah. So so I'll be talking about my book. My book. What is this book? There's going to make you do weather on the ones. This book. What is this book there's gonna make you do weather on the ones? Don't wear that scarf Multiple scars as I do love about your fashion sense is like phyllis dillard, but it works on you Thank you. Thank you Joe. That was a good one. That was a good one. Why undo that gong from behind Thank you

So this book fucking scopol got me a fucking $20 gong. He goes dead Dude don't go crazy with the money with the gong dude. So what did you do that again? It's fucking stupid basting of it. Whatever the fuck it is I there was like $80 gongs and I'm like oh he doesn't want to do that You know what 80 see by 20 hey a scope want to take the real anger out of your fucking You know what, 80s, so you buy 20. Hey, hey, scope. Wanna take the real anger out of you, a fucking guy? Oh man.

Fucking guy. You're a fucking guy, right? I go to buy baby oil for my butt, you know. Oh, by the way, do you mean Dan, tell the story of Chris Scopo, that fucking road gig? Oh, dude, the guy comes up to us. The fucking, the fuck. Oh, that was fantastic.

Oh, that was fantastic. He was like, wait, he was like, listen guys, wait, wait, wait, stop. But this is, I really, this is what I'm gonna close with. I need to just, I wanna get this. I'm gonna get this. I'm gonna get this. Please, we got Angle. You wanna have a fun over where we are.

I'll tell you where we're going back to the book for him and I wanna talk about Jeff's book, but I do wanna talk to the best. Let me just tell the people listening. I got a gig from Keith the Cop, every year he has this gig. He tries to get me to do it. I couldn't do it this year. I passed it on to you three fucking humps,

which I was like, this is gonna be great. It was awesome. I appreciate it. You weren't around. I actually asked and you were out of town. So fuck you, Joe. For me to try to help you. But anyways, we're gonna talk about it.

You couldn't get me, so you got Louis? Well, Louis needs to. I mean, Jesus. Louis has a baby that... Grab handling or something. Have you seen every video of the kids in, he's in the same clothes? Go ahead.

So it's a book called Make Them Left. And it's about the history of the comic strip. Now, I've been in comedy so long, but I'm also a fan of comedy. I love the history of comedy. As I can see that you do too, because you're interested in the Freyrus Club. So I do like the history of comedy.

I like to see how it evolved evolved because it did go from this, you know, the comedy that we have now you call it blue, but we can actually do it. Well, it's observational. Well, we can do it on stage now because the cable TV. It's changed, but the things that made comics laugh back then, like him pulling his cock out, were always blue. Blue's always been funny.

It's just she couldn't do it on TV. The things that made you guys laugh back in the day was crazy shit that we can actually do on stage. Like a fucking aged joke that he has that he did on TV the other night, access live. He got to do his, did you do the age joke? No, I didn't. But a little out of other blues.

All of Lewis's stuff back in the 60s that had been like, oh, Lewis wouldn't. Oh, Lewis wouldn't, he would have been. He wouldn't be like, I didn't but a little out of other blues all of Lewis's stuff back in the 60s that have been like oh Lewis would oh Lewis wouldn't he would have been you wouldn't be I agree on stage in the 60s. I agree all your stuff blue The day right Fuck these quick. He really is just God damn the truth. That's why he's thinking all the time when he's blinking. I do, I do. That's his power. He's a computer. Deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, Back in processing, back in processing, my sick, no.

Is there a whole anatomy? No. Take that sentence, twist it around, turn it into something, and then go, Deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, the Apollo. That is it. So the seller is about 30 years old, right?

Yes. The improv is just celebrating its 50th anniversary. Right. It opened in 63. Rick Newman opened Catch at the end of 72. Right. And then the comics drift opened in 1976 on June 1st and on June 17th Jerry Seinfeld came in to audition. And so I decided that I wanted to write a book on the comic strip. So I'm one day I was in the club. I was in the club with Gilbert Gottfried and we were coaching Anne Curry on how to do standup comedy for some thing that she was doing some kind of contest Whatever and I looked at Richie and I saw all the pictures on the wall and I'm like we should really do a book on your club

Yeah, and it had been suggested to him many times and for whatever reason he turned everyone down about writing it He came to my house to talk about it and he said to me I had more pictures on my wall than he had at the club And he's like I think you might be the guy to do it and he trusted me with this thing to tell his story So it took four years to do this book and I sat down with Seinfeld and Ray Romano and I flew to LA to interview Billy Crystal and all the people that started out The Paul Reiser George Wallace Eddie Murphy. Oh, no Eddie Murphy was the one one of the few people in the book Why wouldn't he's he's like he hates Jeffrey Gurean. You would think no, it's not that simple.

Scope, scope, scope, one more time. Make sure you sweep up all these names that Jeffrey's brought. That would have been a good excuse. Well, that was a double. I can't help it. They're in the book. You know, why not why not any? Well, Richie was his manager for the first eleven years yes career and it's in here that he fired richie uh... in nineteen eighty seven i think right after bevel he'll cop to

and i guess i don't know the whole story about why but he was he would he agreed to do uh... a phone interview with me and it never happened. Well you don't you know why. Well I guess there were hard feelings. I don't know why. I don't I don't know the real deal but I don't know like people say that shit went down that he is not comfortable talking about his past. He likes to talk about the present. So I never got to interview him. Everybody talks about him in here there's a

million eddie murphy stories but he's not in the book he he personally that's kind of sad because he is one of the guys when you think of the comic strip the story of him with chris rock i mean the the legacy of chris rock was started because of any at the comic strip was the amazing story i don't know you have chris in the book yeah oh uh chris wrote the introduction to the mind Jeffrey Chris son of a bitch I'm a mother-of-a-kind Chris wrote the introduction to the book

besides being interviewed for it he wrote an amazing amazingly funny five-page introduction that he sent us from the confound festival he was in Europe and we said like we need this fast and he wrote it up and sent it in and it's great he didn't write it I'm sure of one of his no no he actually what charade small road charade charade's fucking managers secretary rather that's in the book you know that's on the so many great stories like

calling quick never i never i never i went up there when lusian was there yeah he was twenty five years which i never hated lusian i never hated them uh... and starlow, wherever she was. I didn't hate her either, but it was their their judgment on who got in and who didn't. They were very, you know, they were very picky. There was very tough. There were some people, really famous people who never passed at the strength. Yeah, but it was it was unnest.

It was out, I'll be honest with you. There was a certain point where I was like, look, get over yourself. I'm gonna work here. You know why you're another. I'm gonna, and it happened. And I want to have a thing where I work there. And I, I, I, I just, you know, the seller took me in day one as the hook man and I've been here ever since.

But, you know, I never hated them for not picking me. I get it, I'm not your style. You like a certain thing. Did he say to you, I already have enough white comics? Because he used to say that a lot. Yeah, to the black comics, you know. He said some weird shit to me. Yeah, he was like from the 18th century.

He said that to me and I go, but my first joke is that I look Puerto Rican because that's when I had the hair and the goate. I was just sexy, Bobby. I go, how do you, how do you, but a whole thing is that I look Puerto Rican. That's what I have a, yeah, but and then he just floundered because I caught him You know, he would look he was a carpenter that was his background in the common he's he started out as a Broadway dancer and a

He built coffins he physically built the comic strip. He did a lot of the he did a lot of the interior work It was the coolest looking out in New York City when that when that was finished, someone doesn't want to get into the cellar. Yeah. Yeah. When that club was finished, Richie said, what are you going to do, man? He says, well, I'm going to go back to Broadway and see if I can get a job.

He was a dancer and a carpenter, which is quite a combination. He had a dancer's body. Yeah, and Richie said, why don't you stay here and become a bartender? And he's like, I don't know how to be a bartender. He says, if someone asks for a beer, you give them a beer. Okay, but here's a deal. Okay, but here's a deal.

So answer me this. Yeah. So here you go. This is a carbon dancer. Then the guy became the right stop guy. The guy who was supposed to be the expert in stand-up comedy. How the fuck does that happen exactly? Haring the fuck! What's so weird? Does a gulmariffy of you go from being Bobby Kelly to fucking scoffers? I can't even have a baby because Skopel's butt so polluted! He's fucking great. Yeah, he's gonna be a star, not now, but like five years. Some days. Yeah, he's gonna bring back character comedy.

I'll split your throat, you fucking asshole. That's a great friend, Kelli and they're gonna bring back character comedy. My god. I'll let you throw you. Fuck it. That's a great. Frank Kelli and I're gonna fucking because comedy is so subjective. What made him the B.O.L. and Endal, right? The guy who was a Broadway dancer. This is why I this why I never hated him because I it happens in every club every club. And you'll work there someday. If you're funny, per for pervails all the time. And I did work there. I mean, I remember I had a Montreal audition and this is when I stopped giving a fuck

about Montreal right and you asked them to do it from the show and I showed up and he put he put Greg Kelly some Greg Kelly on some black dude yeah on in my spot he took my spot away put his client on uh-huh and I and i and then he put me on the next show with that they weren't even a morris and we'll be there that's what he did to me some comic actually wound up doing the same thing got passed at the strip because of his audition for just did you hear what i just had i did he took me off the list robby

the guy from morris i love robby pro love him. But he came in and he said Toulouse into his face. I don't know who this guy is and he pointed to my face. I want to see him from Montreal. I do that. I don't know who that is. So he goes, well, I'll put him on after. Well, I was like, you fucking piece of shit. Why would you do that? That's so fucking weird. That was a dick move. That is a dick move That was the one thing that he did a total dick, but I still didn't give a shit Have I think there is a disconnect like I get you are gonna do this He was very direct to people to there's a story that one comic literally fainted

He just fucking passed out now because Lucian was so abroad I mean he would just tell you that he I don't think you're funny And I don't think you should be working in this business, but here's the thing is so funny It's worth you literally just get off the stage and I would get killed I just fucking a natural age to sweat and really just Good night Bobby why right I'd walk off I'd come out and just expect accolades and he's like well you're not really Yeah exactly exactly did that a lot and he was just a just a very strange guy but but the club It was richi was in LA with Eddie

Yeah, so he had to he had to have somebody book the club so in the beginning richi was booking it over the phone Well when he left the illusion how to how to book the club when he left and then they had they actually had me back And that was I love richi's a great guy. And when Alan Comis came to do his interview, he actually showed up wearing his comic strip jacket. That was 30 years old. A lot of people don't know that Alan Comis started as a stand-up comic. They just know him from TV as a commentator. So, I think that's the first time that Alan Comis was able to do a comic strip jacket. And that's the first time that Alan Comis was able to do a comic strip jacket. And that's the first time that Alan Comis was able to do a comic strip jacket.

And that's the first time that Alan Comis was able up wearing his comic strip jacket that was 30 years old. A lot of people don't know that Alan Comstorter is a stand up comic. There's no one from TV as a commentator. So it was literally moved to tears because as you guys know when you start on comedy, it's a motherfucker. It's just so hard to get stage time. And in those days, it was one of the second. Kelly, it's really hard in this business when you okay to get stage time and Same time is when they put you so when he talked about What are you when I get up there when he talked about really creating a schedule for comics You know years ago comics could sit for hours and there was no guarantee that you'd get on and especially if somebody Well known walked in you just be bumped and that was it that happened when I moved to New York and get on that night

I moved to New York. I was at the Boston Comedy Club. I had the flu. I had no money. I had $50 to my name. I was living in Burr's apartment. It happens like a motherfucker. I was shitted. I was sweating. And I'm sitting there in the back of the Boston Comedy Club

and Musavir you kept going, you know, I'll put you up next. Like it was like second. And then J. Moore came in, you're up after J and then Brewer came in, you're up after Brewer. And then Chappelle came in, he's like, you gotta put your best to Pell. And then someone else popped in,

someone else fucking, and then Red Johnny around, came in, delivered, dropped a bomb in the place. I mean, you wanna talk about fuck, I see people making people laugh. I haven't seen somebody fucking drop a bomb like I used to see back in the day I mean I did read Johnny the round guy. I used to fucking it the show's over. It's done Don't go up after him. Doesn't matter who you are. It's fucking over Johnny and the round guys the one that your manager was telling us the story about

Yeah, it's so funny Do you want to do the voiceovers, he does a bender on a future armor. So fucking funny. I used to watch, it was just crazy. And then I got to go up at the end and with the flow. And you murdered. I was obviously going to get many.

No, seriously, you're a good Jackson. I did. I did. Masavi was the motherfucker. Yeah, but me and him had a threesome. No, okay. Not a force him. I had two chicks. We had two girls. And that's when I, that's when he was like, yeah, I me and him had a threesome. Oh, okay. Not a force him, I had two chicks.

We had two girls and that's when I, that's when he was like, yeah, let me give you a fucking spot. That's right, okay, so you brought him a take sometimes. I used to when I smoked weed, that's how I made friends in every school I went to. I moved a lot or I went to jail a lot and I went to like 19 different junior highs

in high schools, I would just have weed with me. So I'd go in, the first thing I would do is get in trouble because I know you go to detention or the principal's office, I'm gonna find the kids I like to have weed with me. So I'd go in, the first thing I would do is get in trouble because I know you go to detention or the principal's office, I'm gonna find the kids I like to hang out with. Louis Chegoma's type. And then we'd be in there and I go, hey, you smoke weed and they'd be like, yeah.

And then we go smoke weed and I'd have my friend first day. Every time I went to a school, it's the same way I made a friend first day of college. Really? Same exact one. When do you want to detention? do yeah they did attention in college that pretty intense use got the guy how college the soda gets into the head of attention university yeah but anyways let me read this man this book

is uh... make them laugh we read the whole book and the whole thing yeah yeah the one that uh... christ rock and Jerry cipher billy christall ray remano that's what I'm going to do. That's what I'm going to do. That's what I'm going to do. That's what I'm going to do. That's what I'm going to do. That's what I'm going to do.

That's what I'm going to do. That's what I'm going to do. That's what I'm going to do. That's what I'm going to do. That's what I'm going to do. That's what I'm going to do. That's what I'm going to do. That's what I'm going to do. That's what I'm going to do. and a p-dominic you're stopping after everyone you don't respect Larry Miller enjoy my love I'm kidding Jeffrey Ross Jim Brewer Tony Rock Rick Overton Lisa Lampinelli Adam

for our and fucking more I'm gonna get this is my copy right it is but I'm gonna sign a few after the show can I get on with you thought it to be on your show I like to write something personal I don't want to write before I would is there any way you could not do that I could do it. I hate we yeah, it's on Amazon. It's in Barnes and Noble I hate when people just write their fucking name in their book, you know Belzer on friends with Belzer for so many years and I go to all his book events at the friars club And he just writes something like best wishes, and I'm like can't you write something personal? Yeah, and he takes the book and he writes the words Something personal right are you It's my favorite moment for Paul Provence's greenroom is when he's

talking about he's, uh, uh, he's balsars there and he's like, what's this merch? What's this merch you're going to start about? Stan Hope goes, I bought your book, Belzer. That was my favorite. That was, that was, they smashed Belzer on that show. They did. That was fucking awesome. Cause he tried to say he didn't know Stan Hope was. Yeah. And David Tell tell us like you know who fucking Doug stand-up is don't give me this bullshit Really great dude. Yeah, who are you who are you to Doug stand-up and a tell goes this is my friend Doug stand-up He's one of the funniest comedians working and both are like oh yeah Yeah, I've seen All the events is to show a set list. Yeah, I've done it. You did it right. Thanks a little bit. Oh, that's what you did it Montreal

Don't yell at me Jeff He's got two guns on it Is that list? Yes, I've done it. You did it, right? Thanks a lot. They're gonna be doing it. Oh, that's what you did it, Montreal. Don't yell at me, Jeff. Don't point it out. He's got two guns on him. That's a full man. He can do my two guns. I've got two guns, one for well one of Bobbitt. What?

Oh. That was a tombstone factory. Um. I liked it. I liked it. You factored. I was just listening this. Fucking keep that on your fucking mic. I was having to see you and Bobby say liked it

You had a weird way of showing it. I didn't even know what the fuck it was. Oh, Mr. Movie 18 movie quotes Oh, I knew it was trying to be a It's you it was a real stretch. I do they're gonna be doing set list from the comedy cell the underground They're gonna start doing that on Wednesdays. Oh, yeah, I saw it at the the New York comedy and and coming to this let's let's first I want to get back to I want to end the show at Lewis, but You you guys did a show for me this weekend. Thank you. I got this gig through Keith the cop and it was out of I don't even know I didn't know I know was good money. I know it was good money for each of you guys. Yeah, and it was cash. Yes, and You know and you know sorry Kelly, but What yeah, you you're you have a vagina. I didn't want to go. They did not want a girl. They did not want to girl

so Scopo I know why I was there, but because they wanted a dyke Okay, they wanted a dike. Okay. They wanted a dike with a fucking sister-in-law. He's so... He wanted a piece of truck. Juicy up front. So, uh, so what happened? Scopo hosted.

Ah, this was the... First of all, Scopo thought he was featuring. He... Yeah, because he goes, because I'm like, All right, Scopo, how long are you doing? And then I said something, he goes, Well, Lulsa bring me up, and I was like, What?

And the drive over, then... Lulsa was like, I'm featuring. And then Scopo was like, no, I'm featuring. Bobby said I'm opening. I was like, you've never doneopus like no I'm featured. Bobby said I'm opening I was like you've never done the road opening is hosting. Yeah. All right. So look the guy. That's fucking funny. You thought

you were opening and that means you go. No I thought Lewis was gonna do more like time up front you know like do a 15 20 me do 10 and then Dan does an hour. That's not the way you didn't want to go up first. No I didn't mind him going up first. but you thought you audience did

I'm kidding Here comes evil Kelly just lighting up at the idea that something bad Something bad happened Well's blood culture vote Vulture Kelly picking at the meat Yeah, especially on me especially on me. She wants you know I need to know because I'm responsible I listen stop stop Louis You can't lie. I'm not like any great look at me look at me. I'm not looking at you corporate Dan Robert I already know he listen. I'm not lying I know because I know the guy who booked a show. I'm good. Ask him. Yeah, do they went from the fucking old people doing the twist

Yeah, to Chris Scopo telling jokes and yeah, it was literally okay, stop and lose like all right Now you're comedy portion of an evening. Yeah, I I'm gonna answer they were gonna have them walk up in the dark I was like, oh, let me introduce them on like a phantom mic. Yes, show off from a phantom mic. Yeah, okay, what show? I had a thought both the thought well, I thought it was one of those ones where you went up with the feature brings up the open and the open It brings up the feature, which is the worst. I was gonna say you have the headlight. I did like my fucking I'm not so good evening ladies and gentlemen nailed it. I've done those shows. You guys welcome your host. You've seen them on nothing. I love it.

There's nothing worse than the middle bringing up the MC and the MC brings up the middle. It just looks like you guys just came. We're like, wow. I love when Lewis is hosting. He does a great job. He did a great job at the right cast show. He's such a good host that that's all he should ever do.

I like it. Right. There he is. So, yeah, good. So the guy, really nice guys, very ball busting. Oh, great. It's just like a fireman. He's just like, they care about each other when they did it. Yes.

No, no, yeah, yeah. So, there was nothing? Yeah, I was okay. Fucking what? So, I didn't even get it. He comes up to say he has a hard fucking person. Oh, yeah, all right, cool. Yeah, all right cool. Yeah, the main guy in charge I mean that was just unnecessary. It's being a lover my pants and they're already tight. Are they sweat pants? Just happened

Don't fry off the table because Lewis doesn't go when he's supposed to go sorry All right, there you go. I wasn't even looking what the fuck does happen he threw something at the beer bottle I better if somebody else did that Bobby would punch a hole for the five-in I'm fucking this room would never want Cuz Bobby would have exploded Think about it like hero save the cheer I We have to get my row back on to I feel bad we had that fucking craziness and he never

See my tell em I was like I you're never gonna come back on the show is the best So get to the part where scopos suffering Kelly's gonna lose her so we don't get So we got to do us and his way his name is low is a really nice guy and he's like oh, yeah, man last year they had this fucking comic this black guy came up And he just kept on doing all these black jokes. There's this one black guy. There's one black guy's part of the department Where he goes it keeps doing race stuff and it's making everyone very uncomfortable It's one black kid stand at the one black kid with his mom and he's just doing race stuff and it makes everyone very Uncomfortable you guys are gonna do stuff like that We're like now. We're just gonna go up there. I'm reworking my set in my head at this point Well shit. It's all race stuff. We're like we're just gonna go up there and do jokes

That's all we're gonna do is like I got cuz you know last year they really enjoy you know your Russian. Yeah, of course No, I was like I was like I was like I was like I can do the Russian every time I'm a time I was like I'm like I can do the Russian I retire I retire the Russian I was like I'm doing it in five minutes I did I was funny Danzo Do you think this button? Because I bitch in closer. No, I did it at the end I'm still post trying to be funny to save himself for what we're about to do

Okay, you know, just don't do that. We don't want to make anyone on cough the week because you can do what you want this guy Italian? Yeah, yeah, so Lewis and I You forgot I couldn't pick that up Lewis is you let Dan do the voices please Dan will be the voice But Lewis is just having drinks and we're in the back and Scopo goes up and he's like hey, hey guys doing and Lewis and I Are talking I'm like I'm gonna take a fucking hot one here And look at all of this setup is weird because there's no stage there's a dance floor And I told him to bring the lights up on the dance floor and they didn't.

So it's as dark. So like a shadow. Scopus is standing in the dark talking. And he's just like, eh, Lewis and I are talking. And just in the background, we just catch it. As Lewis and I are talking around the corner. What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what Doing race stuff. He's like black guys are like this and we're like I was like a black chick from the waves I was like I'll do my ass bit and then that they didn't laugh at that. I abandoned that real quick That's how he's just like black guys

Everything was at the word black and like made me quit. I was like dude. Stop saying Grin I was like dude, stop saying bluest was for a grins. Yeah, that is the one note he gave us. He said I have to lie to black baby. I'm fire to make it. You should say don't don't like go out the black people. Lois black joke every time we don't. Lewis looks at me. Oh, I know he did.

He was a thing. They liked it. They laughed. It was good. He was hosting. And literally I swear to God, they off the twist. Yeah people stopped twisting And they sat down and he had to go up right there cold and they were like I'm not gonna lie I give a lot of credit to scoff at it was fucking chaos and he got him to listen

He got him he got him last. Lewis did Lewis did great Lewis. Great. Lewis did the best I mean I did the best but Lewis sense the weight when Lewis built it in because Lewis did his crazy I can't say you did the best I can say it. Oh really? Okay, okay, great You but no, but Lewis was like walking through the crowd like look at this guy just Wedding I was like like patting people on the back Just like it's like this guy's half a queer I was fucking like patting people on the back to fucking even off their place. He's like, this guy's half a quair. I don't know what I'm saying.

Yeah! And then I go up there for the first three minutes, like, we just gonna fucking stand there and tell jokes. And I'm like, yeah, pup, pup, pup, pup, pup, pup. And they're like, all right. And then they got on board. But the first three minutes of my set, they're like, why is he not coming in the crowd and grabbing my wife like the last one?

How about a soda, just the sweetest guy in the world? That's what you want when you're doing a hell gig. You're middle act to walk into the crowd Where you from? What an asshole hey don't make fun of blacks, but who is you around the name? That guy then he got drunk touching our thighs He was the best point. He didn't watch us second of my head He was floating with scurpo. He showed him pictures of belly jays like oh suck that dude

Oh, he goes brain belly jay next time you hear. Bring belly. I'm like, this is not a comedian. I don't care. Bring her here. She's funny once you suck in my cock. And then Lewis, after the show, you know, because any good friend that knows that your buddy that quit drinking alcohol eight months ago and quit smoking cigarettes four months

ago. So what does Lewis do? Let's get a big glass of whiskey and go outside and smoke cigars with everyone smoking cigarettes four months ago. So what does Lewis do? Let's get a big glass of whiskey and go outside and smoke cigars with everyone smoking cigarettes. So I'm just staying everybody. I'm just standing, sco-po and I are just standing in the back.

Everyone's smoking around us. He's drinking whiskey, he's like, yeah, all right, guys, you guys wanna stick around for another drink? No, no, no. Give it great people. Cause I'm coming off the rail. It is, it is, look at the drink like he wants to jump in it.

I'm like, that's where Lewis should be long Island just doing firehouse after fire All your money during Christmas. He really was walking through the rest of the year off and just do MMA shows like a Delinquent Phil Donahue walking through the crowd interviewing. What do you do? Love me. They did love you. I would have been drinking and smoking with you buddy. Yeah, you weren't. That's not what you were supposed to say Kelly. You're supposed to be like, oh, that's mean you were drinking. I'm not a chick. I said, look, I sub-smucker weed. It's actually two weeks ago today. I know. I'm just busting her balls. No, but I what I said is it's smoke weed on the right home. I don't check it out.

Well, here's a thing that happened to you. You talking about this guy being a fucking touchy dude. We did this show. Joe Joe you are sorely missed Live show Fun with the sore how fun was that that was the most fun right but I really realized Lewis that you sucked the dick Not just sucked a dick Lewis not not not sucked the dick that night and the videos on the our YKWD YouTube page at night and the videos on the our YKWD YouTube page. Um, Robert Kelly live. Robert Kelly live. Listen, Lewis, this whole thing was a joke until you went to do it.

You've really sucked a man's penis. I don't, I don't, I don't compete to lose. Yeah, but you've really sucked a man's cock. What are you two fucking doing? We're gonna picture a little sucking there. You really sucked a cock. It's unbelievable on the but no you were there Dan it was the closest thing I've ever seen in my life and you made by Jim Norton's cringe for a second the the fact is where I knew and then he filled up where I

was where I saw my viewpoint I walked around to see it but my viewpoint at first looked like my friend was blowing my other friend. Because we were just doing it with the. Oh, no, you went there. And then Louis second dick Jeff. Jeff, Jeff, we did a lot. We did a live show. This podcast live in front of the comedy New York comedy fest at the village on the ground. It was unbelievable. And he we had Bailey, Jay on who's on our network. and it was that's a piece of shit right here. She's got a great show and her and her husband and they came down and Lewis challenged her to a blow job competition. Okay.

Uh-huh. And I thought it was going to be for shits and giggles. I thought he was just going to suck it. Think a little bit. I knew Lewis sucked it. When I knew he was for realsies, when Lewis went, you gotta put your leg up. And I'm like, what?

I'm standing straight holding a dildo where my dick is. He goes, no, I need your leg up. And I'm like, why? He goes, you gotta put your leg up. I put my leg up. No, no, no, no. What I did was I asked for a chair. Yeah, that was what he wanted.

You want to sit down, you fucking lazy fuck. And I'm like, no, dude, put your leg up. And I put my leg up and I was like, oh my god, he's done this before. You have to be like, I'm like no dude put your leg up and I put my leg up and I was like oh my god He's done this before This is a more comfortable position for every This is how you suck a dick you put a leg up I and then and then he goes this one when we went one two three go Which I wish I would do for every blowjob by the way

One two three go I would do for every blowjob by the way. Oh my God. One, two, three, go. He fucking, if you watch the video, he spits on it once, realizes there's not enough spit. Like a gentleman. Spits on it twice, and then pushes the spit down the shaft to get the whole dick wet, because he knows if you put your mouth, your mouth on a dry dick, it's gonna get stopped. So you know what was more for me?

And then he went it, and then he stuck his hands between my legs and grabbed my ass and pulled my fake cock into his mouth. And then he just fucking did the windmill. I was long enough to do that. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, at first I'm like, yeah, what? Yeah, that was a good fat joke. Have you, have you,

Lewis, I've never stuck in dick. I've had my dick sucked thousands of times. Hang on one second. That one seems to be. Hang on, have you ever sucked a dick? Lewis, this is your chance. This is the moment where you can just say, you know what, fuck it, I'm gonna get it out.

I'm married. I love my wife. I would've ever sucked a cock. I would be the first person to admit it. Why? Because I'm a real ass dude. And that's what real ass dudes do. Suck dick. You've never...

L.J.G. R.A.D. Have you ever sucked that dildo before like a dick? Oh, I see. It's good to hear. I have to hear it. But like, by yourself, you know, jerk off and stuff. I'll be funny dude in high school you should do with bananas and like the fucking lunchroom.

Just for shit's and game. Oh yeah, high school wasn't even like, people aren't even like the the fucking lunch room just for shit to get my high school Wasn't like people aren't even like guys aren't into jokes like that What are you gonna say? You just get nothing to say. Lewis is breaking barriers in high school. We really we've really gone blue now, but I'm not offended. I just have nothing to say.

He well, I wouldn't need it. He he you've let me ask have you know you know get it? I'll Jeff the best part though. What's the best done after 27 seconds. And Bailey J is supposed to go. And they're false comb. You know, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What happened? The big, the big, the big, the Bobby Fisher versus the Russian guy. Yeah. It was like the biggest chess match in history.

She went to shake my hand and she was like, she was like, what are you doing? She's like, no, no, I'll offer you a draw. They played and then there was like a break. They had to break in the middle of the game to, because it was too late. Right. And then the guy forfeited over the night.

He couldn't sleep. I'm going crazy. Great movie, by the way. My favorite movie one was a kid. It's actually, I'm just talking about the real thing. I didn't even see the movie. I's actually I'm just talking about the real thing Was she under the impression that it was real no no she knows a blowjob Yeah, she had around dick. We bought her a dick. Where's that dick by the way? Louis do you need a new dick?

For next year's cock to where I can I do actually? No, I wouldn't look gross. I'll leave it here and you look real okay, okay? looks gross. I'll leave it here. And you'll take it. Okay. Okay. I can take that. You know, no, this is no, this is no, I'm, you know, house up here that he gives us. I know there's why we're going to make sure these are away. You know what I mean? We did I pay you for that? Yeah, you're good. Okay, good. All right, we'll listen, check it out guys. This has been a fantastic show. Lewis, uh, Kelly show. It's good to have you back, man.

Nice to see you back now. You be back next Tuesday back to his dad back uh... a disembrom in town all the whole month great awesome Christmas week uh... pothead fucking dan and and uh... you're you're very fucking zoning this show may i got a really smacking to get your attention what

and then going through some shit. What's wrong? You didn't even told them what's up, dude? Oh, yeah, I don't want to tell one here. Well, dude. No, come on. You're right What happened? What happened? It's serious, but it's fine. We'll get through it. What happened? We'll be fine. Are you okay? Yeah? Maybe it's just a man. It's just a matter of like close friends What the fuck are you talking about? I'm not close enough for you to tell me No, maybe if you asked well, I'm asking you're asking on air. It's off of the show It's not just for our friendship. It was off of the show. I turned the mic's off. I'll tell the stories Mike. You're off

Okay, that's it Dance gay That's perfect because I think Lewis is queer We have an announcement to make. Lewis and I will be moving in together and we'll be raising James as our son. Do you understand how famous you'd be if you did that? Well, guess who's the power bottom because you're looking at them. Yeah, well you're going to have this deal.

We're going to have this deal. This deal deal has warts. Warts. Oh,ildo has warts. Warts. Oh, that's, that's mine. Alright, let's go through this, man. Jeff, thank you for coming on. I had a blast. You had a good time.

I had a fucking amazing time. Thank you so much for making me feel so comfortable. I appreciate it coming on. Make sure you get, where's the book? Let me see this book. I got it over here. I really do want to give this book. Do you want, want you?

Yeah, you can buy it and help them out. I will. I'll buy it for you. I'll buy it from the YKWD Amazon link. Is comments, comments. Is this on Amazon? Yes, it's on Amazon. Can you get an iTunes?

Yes, you can get an, oh, I don't know about iTunes. You get on Kindle? Okay, great. And Amazon and Barnes and Noble, if you want a hard copy. All right, check this out. It's Make a M laugh by Jeffrey Guren and Richie Tinken. Tinken. And this is the history of the comic strip.

This is a very interesting book. I'm gonna read it over the weekend. Thank you, man. And thank you for my copy. You'll sign it after. Absolutely. Go get this book and support this guy. It's a really funny book.

If you're into comedy, you'll love this book. So here we go. Scopo, what do you got? Follow me on Twitter at Chris Scopo. Scopo needs Twitter followers. Yeah, I mean, get me from the ground up, you know, or building. Oh, can I say my thing? We're gonna get, we're gonna get, we're gonna get left.

You got to cut the off, sorry man. Yeah, the poor kid's got nothing. You have a bookie bit in the middle of 40 years. You know Eddie Murphy, you got to list this cuck set that knows me and you're stepping on his Twitter feed. So, doesn't even have a gig rest like my weird uncle come on Say he's mean he doesn't know to do it yet guys. Oh my god 41 retweet so far after John Thank you. Thank you. What do you got I wasn't done by the way?

Yeah, we need I said this before we need a scopo episode a scopo hour. Where is he from? What are his parents like next? All right? Here's a deal ready? I hear some Where are you I'm in San Francisco? I'm collaborating with the guy. I don't know my grandmother You have to yeah, that's what we were talking about No, she's okay You're next Tuesday Kelly is so pumped up for this she can't we're gonna do a scopo episode

I went when you coming back a scopo episode Please go, I wanna be there for the scopo I went when he coming back a scopo hour When he coming back, I think I fly back Wednesday You coming back Wednesday? What time? Late What's late? Can we do Thursday? No, I'm not a few. That's good, Thursday

Fuck, you're fucking jackass Wait, next, wait next Tuesday, I can do next Tuesday I'm here next Tuesday. I thought this was a week later. Oh, we're good. Can we do it in the afternoon? Next cuz I gotta go to what the fuck up? I don't like the year's stoner when I need you and then when you want at the end of the show you I can do Tuesday. You do Tuesday Tuesday Tuesday Tuesday

Oh, just giving you the energy you wanted how about fucking Tuesdays with Stories stories he doesn't ask me to do the show what first? Well, I asked you fucking I think it's my the episode is my episode the most popular so far. I don't know but you understand that I Put him on my show and he's never asked me first of all I'm a few ways Kelly what do you got? This is coming out on Monday the Fifth is it yes on Tuesday 26. I'll be at the stand and then on Wednesday the 27th on women doing a show at the creek That's great. Yeah, all right cool and follow Kelly for stuka. Yeah, and then being don't be an asshole Only one fucking fat and you're not funny joke

And if you put a smiley face if you put smiley faces unlimited I just say something you know people give me shit about the smiley face if you put a smiley face you know the tone Yeah, you can read the tone. Oh, you're not I can't smile Still makes it okay Still makes it okay Joe. What are you got besides a podcast that you don't have your friends on I'll talk fat What are you talking about we've had Greg Stone we had Taylor Xander we have Louis J Gomez we had Joe D'Aroza Also fucking I don't need to have the book. I got a second guy, a lot of them we have no guest, but real quick, the Tuesday stories,

we have like 25,000 listeners, most of them I think are listeners of this show that come over, so we appreciate it. Thank you. December 10th, all of you, you're all invited, Twist and Shout party, twist contest, at the Creek and the Cave, we have a show, and then it's a twist contest, I'd love to have you.

I'll just be right after. I'll just be right after. Mad Dog, Mad Dog, Maddorg, Maddorg, and a show, and then it's a twist contest. I'd love to have you out. I'll just be right after. Mad Dog, Mad Dog, Mad Dog, Maddorg, and Mark Norman judge. It's great. Speaking of Mark Norman, December 20th, Friday, we're at Grandma's Basement in Boston. It's a door deal. Come on out.

We'd love to have you. Where is it? It's Grandma's Basement. What day is it? It's 20th. No, it's actually it's Grandma's Basement. December 20th, listen really. It's the 20th.

This, our Johnson's, Boyle Stinson's. People might not know what a door deal is listen That means they get paid if you show the fuck up. That means there's no money. There's no there's no guarantee There's they need you to show up so Boston fans please show up for the show for mark and and and and Joe and mostly mainly for mark But and we're gonna have soda on soon I already talked about it now he's being a big jerk on air. We're gonna have Soda Run soon. I already talked to him about it Now he's being a big jerk on air. We're gonna have him on soon. I don't give a fuck about him I'd like to have you on as well. I should have been on number one. Oh no. You're busy. I'm not I've asked you a hundred times to do shit And you never even get back never fucking ask me to do anything name one thing

I share with the strip multiple times one time you've asked a couple. A couple times. I'm glad you didn't ask him. Why? Why? Cause she likes when people are mean to each other. Cause she's evil. Why? Cause they got cancelled last night. Oh yeah, Lewis Chagom was supposed to be on. I'm there to talk to the coffee company. Cause they call them the ticket seller. Anyways, come to the party. December 10th, the creek. I'll come to the party if I did the podcast. Go ahead, Dan.

Oh, dance order.com and the podcast. Go ahead, Dan. Oh, danceoder.com and add soda. Danceoder on Twitter. That's me, you know, you make doing well in the business. I don't have any road gigs, I'm in the city. Shhh. Okay. Why are we getting me at the end?

People coming out, doing me flak. I'm trying to be helpful and get scopos and fans. And everyone starts attacking me all the time. Because you got a fucking hit thing. You tell us how 25,000 awesome shit, and you got a fucking hit thing you tell us how 25,000 awesome shit and you got none of us on it thousand Lewis Jay Gomez has been on it. Yeah, we just made him feel like shit about his I love this throw this out now you haven't asked me you got nine TV shows and six movies and you're on the road I have you all my show ever the place a granny you take don't want to say granny. You take it back. I have you touring with the 49ers. You a fucking jerk. Hey, you're the movie

I have you on my show every fucking week. I you got a kid. You can't fucking boss you got I'm letting I'm letting the play the thing build up before I have you on I don't want to just have people in Thousand people Joe's Joe's got pro wrestler neck or there's a bunch of veins coming out. What happened? Whatever, Joe. Like I have on. Lewis, what's up, buddy? That's got my website realasdo.com. I'm going to be headlining comics at Foxwood's December 18th, Christophe was going to be hosting scopo hosting. Dave Smith is on the show too. He was on the live. He was on Wikew2B last week. It's's gonna be a great show. Come at December 18th to that. Also, when is this coming up Monday?

Yeah, 25th. The 20th. Come to the stand on Me and Adrian Epiligie are putting together the show every month. It's well the mashup show. It's two comics going on the stage at the same time. A lot they might improv. They might do jokes Who knows but big J and Kurt Metzger going on at the same time? Jermaine Fowler and Chris DeSteffan are going at the same time and seeing Smith and Justin Dodger going out at the same time. So we got a really solid lineup and it's a lot of fun.

It's very different than the normal stand-up show. I asked you to do the show, Bobby. You said no. I will do it. Who you want to go on? Bobby can be both of that cool. Bobby and Kelly. That's not fucking cool, bro.

But you might want to plug Metzger and Okerson last, just a little... I'm gonna hit band Lewis. What if it was? I close with C.N. Justin. If I were to close with the two fun people of all day. Yeah, especially guys who fucking practice stories together. Yeah, no, they're gonna be fucking, because these guys started comedy together. They've known each other for 15 years. They're gonna crazy stories. And you're credited done. No, we gotta run. Jeff, what're gonna be fucking because these guys started coming together. They've known each other for 15 years.

They're gonna crazy stories and your credit to done. We got a lot of money. I got the Grizzly pair this Saturday night on December 4th. I'll be at the Metropolitan Room and I'll be on Kroll show for my third time in the new season coming out of the January. Awesome. With Amy Polar and Katy Perry. That's awesome. And you're gonna get me in the Friars Club. Absolutely. That would be great. That's too serious. I really am. That's a definite. My site is comedy matters TV.com. I got over 250 interviews with everybody from Jimmy Fallon to Robert Kelly. Chelsea Handler everybody's on the book is my make a laugh. Make sure you get it. He's a true comedy fan He's been in it for a long time and he he's he he knows comedy you're

fucking do man. You're always a sweet guy. A nice guy and I'm glad you came on the show. I'm glad you came on the show. I'm glad you came on the blast. Make sure you follow us and go to our shows live Robert Kelly live dot com is going to be up on the website right now. I'm just going to look over and fucking, he doesn't have it up.

Okay, and we're still waiting. And all right, fucking god damn it, Scopo. Can we do it for you? No, okay, go ahead, do it. 29th and 30th, Robert will be at Catcher Rising Star in Princeton, New Jersey. Boom! 6, 7th and 8th, you can see him that side,

splitters and Tampa. That's right, in a couple weeks Tampa, baby Tampa I know good ship club 13th 14th Bobby will be in Arlington, Virginia at the Arlington draft house great room. Come out the 27th one night only Bobby would be at the comedy shop blackstone Blackstone, I don't know, it says 87 root 23 wherever that is. Yeah, listen, go to my website robakelylive.com, all my tour dates, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter.

Make sure you've gonna follow me on Facebook, follow the one on robakelylive.com. You guys are the best fans ever. Thanks for donating. Thanks for supporting all the people on this show and we love you. That's it. Take care. Duh! Check out RiotCast.com for all the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free. And they're all free.

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