Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Cuties with Smoothies

Episode Date: April 2, 2018

The Bayridge Boys Yannis Pappas and Chris DiStefano explain how to look good with a beverage and why history and hyenas go hand in hand. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. This is going to be a cost of fire. It's podcast, no rules. I'm sure I've already said should I regret it? Can I get a microphone? No, that's a fuck. That was trying to keep it like a comic head.

I have a bunch of you guys on. It's just us sitting down, yapping. Sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's 10 no topics, no directions. I love doing it. Play both sides of the coin! That's how it all holds the odds you love apart. I don't want to do anything. My podcast is popular enough where I might affect some of these lines.

You never know. It's Robert Kelly, so you know what to podcast on whitecast.com. Old radio, old radio guy. What else do we got? What else do we got? What else do we got we look Fix his glass off cuz you want to stay young the roses voice always puts me in a bad mood Come on

Send I like jody Joey D's great kid. We're back for another ykwd Holy shit episode. I'm gonna look on my, I got a little thing here now and it tells me what to do. There's two things on here that should be four things, but there's two things. I know there's four things right now

because I got me fighting. I'm all over Gabby today. Why did he keep holding the mic? I'm all over Gabby. I feel like don't say that. Huh? I feel like don't say you're Huh? I feel like don't say you're all over me, just like work wise. Oh, me too. Hashtag. Me too. Me too. Me too. Isn't that weird

that you can say that now and put fucking fear in my heart? Literally if you can, you can end our careers with any time you say that. I know. It's just over. The the sick look at her little stoic fucking yeah her fucking little stoic vagina face Hey, could you please not say that about me anymore it makes me uncomfortable. I'm really uncomfortable. Oh good beat it Get your fucking get your ass out of here. Um listen, we have laughable calmcom, right? Do we pull that website up? Sorry, I'm tweeting from your thing. Don't say sorry, just fucking.

Oh, here's stupid. Oh, it's gonna be honest, probably. Yeah, here we go. I gotta get a new headshot. Why? Too young. You don't look too young. Two years ago.

You look like a Dutch bushcrafter. What's a Dutch bush cra- Like, is that a knife? No. That's a nice, stupid. What's a Dutch bushcraft? Like, is that a knife? No. And that's it. You look like... You look like this week on Dutch bushcraft thing. No, there's two guys that do you look like one of them.

Dutch bushcrafting knife. This week we discussed the back river bushcraft knife. It has Fultang. Fultang and a buck, a oak-buck grip and the line is so red. It's my favorite knife. Is that a Dutch accent? Sort of. Sort of.

You want to put your face to this? Lover. Lover. There he is. There he is. Yani P. Yani P. What's up, Kaz?

What's up, Snews face? It's Snews face. Here you go, babe. Yani?. What's up, cuz what's up to the new space? It's news face here go babe We're on air baby, so anyway, I'm just going through this stuff right now Let me skim through this before you guys that yapping to each other. Pista. Is that your go piss? All right Hi, y'all nice. I love you buddy. I just want to tell you now Doing a savage watch your fucking It's those massive hips wide hips. Oh fucking god damn fucking Milfah fit hips You're right

Christ he got stuck in the chair. I mean he's white trash. What do you want? He's stuck in the chair? I know he's too wide I mean I'm big. I don't get stuck in the chair. No, you're big that way. He's big He's got me got birthing hips. He's got birthing hips, yeah. He's got Viking birthing hips. Yeah. Um, anyways, laughable.com, if you like podcasts, uh, you want to sap. I love podcasts.

I love podcasts through comedians you love. That's the way it works. Yeah. Have you ever used it? Um, no, but um, I love it. Here's the deal. That's him right there. That's Ned. Ned. What's up, Ned? What's up, Ned? He Here's a deal. That's him right there. That's Ned.

Ned. What's up Ned? What's up Ned? He looks like a Ned. Oh shit, I don't even know what that means. Well, here's a deal. You go to the app, go to your part. I just walked in.

You can't get mad at me yet. I'm setting up. I'm mad now. Okay, shut that off. I just shut it off. Yeah, it's off. Off. Off. You go to the app, it's off. Off, off.

You go to the app, you type and you say, Yannis, right, you go to you. Yeah. So you go to me, you love me, you go to YKWD. Well, I like how you jump ship on Yannis so fast. Well, I'm going back to him, you're a fucking asshole. Let me finish, she's bugging me today. It's gonna be a good podcast then. We go, it's just us?

Yeah. Yes. We're going back, it's a Beirage day We go, it's just us? Yes! We're going back, it's a Beirige day. Yes, it's a Beirige baby. This is Beirige fucking promotion, Patreon, fucking podcast, hyenas. Cute as with smoothies. I love that.

I wanted to hate it. You're gonna be our first guest on it. Go to laughable download the app. So you go to my web, you go to my, uh, park podcast. Yeah. Oh, young. This is there. Yeah. And you click on your face. Yeah.

All your shows you've ever been on pop-up. Get out of here. And all of them. All of them. That's the guy who owns it. No, he holds that's when he hosted the show. They had a laughable show. It's that convenient, Bobby?

It's so convenient. Uh, laughable.com. Go download the app right now. And then I want to say this comedy. So loves Vegas is open. April 5th is I believe the first week. Yeah. The shows they're putting together. I'm in. I booked my show last week of August. Me, Verzy, Rich Voss. Keith Robinson. There you go. And we might have a special guest pop in. That's a cool night. It's like an old school night. That's a week. That's a whole fucking week. I'm going fucking June 6th to the 10th with Alington Mietra.

He's Alington Mietra. I don't know. He's a good kid. But here's the deal. We could do it. We could get a Bayridge Boyz week. Yeah, why don't we do that? Yeah, we get a rich boyz take Vegas. We gotta figure it out, we gotta figure it out because that's what the show's trying to do.

They're trying to bring the comedy sell in New York. They're not gonna do some shit MC you've never heard of who's in his mid 50s, does magic. He closes with magic, Some other ass hall who, you know, who, you know, is, you know, on ships most of the year, then he comes in in middles. Everybody's a hat t-shirt and fucking mittens they want to sell. And then some headliner that never made it, but should have. It's not that show. We're bringing the top motherfuckers headliner, headliner, headliner, headliner. The youngest, the older, the motherfuckers are going to Vegas,

comedy, celivagus, at the Rio. Every show is gonna be killer. Well, the lineup speed diverse and include women. We they do have women. Of course they have women. That's the only way I'll come. They have women. What do you mean no?

What are you saying? I'm kidding. Stop kidding like a fucking asshole, all right? Jesus Christ! I'm like fucking women. I'm promoting the comedy celabagus. She's in the comedy celestudeos and she says no. She unbelievable.

Oh God, Liz is gonna hear that and fucking wanna stab the front. She's gonna punch me in the face. Oh God, you want out, don't you? What do you want? I'm kidding. You know, just fucking go. No! Just go!

Come on over, Gabby. We have room for you. There's gonna be a space open when I leave. Oh! Fuckin' no! No! Just go! Come on over, Gabby! We have room for you! There's gonna be a space open when I leave. Oh! Woo! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Oh my God! Don't get it, there's God! Oh my God! That's some fucking pre-show, fucking laughter. Fuck. And I wanna do two other things. Zach's glass is fun. This guy still has these glasses of bro.

Zachy Isis face. Yeah, we love Zach on our podcast. Okay, here's the deal. He's the best. Number one. Who's the other guy? Uh, uh, Bartos. What do you call?

White wasp. White wasp. The white wasp, because he looks like a fucking wasp. You don't know Bartos? No, of course. Oh, you were setting him up. I'm sorry. I'm not going to hot coffee in his fucking face. Please. Oh, you're

bottom for fucking you know why I'm bar now. That's why I was confused. No, I know. I know. Of course, brother. We we call they call them the white wasb yesterday when they were filming my show. I'm the chef. Yeah, great. The white wasb was then. Yes, they were calling them the white wasb. Somebody came up to them on the street and told and says, I'm do the yeah, I the way I was. There's nothing made me. Nothing made me happier. If the pizza got income yesterday,

when we were filming the live from the show, he would have him go get it and show up with a hoodie on. And when he gave it to me, I was going to go, aren't you the white lost? Anyways, Zach, you have the link somewhere? It'll be there. and when this comes out, there'll be a link on the bottom. There'll be a link right on the bottom.

Click on that link, it's Zach's Glasses Fund. Click that, it's the PayPal to this. And whatever money comes in, we're gonna do it another month. Cause nobody fucking donated to it. I'm getting glasses. Show me glasses. That's a suck.

That's terrible. Look at that shit. I thought you got new ones a suck. They're terrible. Look at that shit. I thought you got new ones. Nope. They always break. Careful, one of the lenses. What do you fight? Like do you street fight?

Yeah. Do you live in a bad neighborhood? Do people know that you use computers and you're shitty neighborhood? And they, you know, get that nerd over here. Yeah, why are they keep breaking? That's exactly what happens. They call me nerd and then jump me.

But they all mean, it's like those old movies. They break my glasses and then throw them and walk away. Yeah, you do look like the Puerto Rican nerd. Yeah. No, we're gonna get you new glasses. And then of course, I want you to, I just want to thank everybody on my Patreon. What is the list?

What is the list from Bardo? I didn't get a list. Oh my God. Wow, I'm really fucking up. Why do I always have our list locked and loaded every week. Oh, fuck. Oh, fucking. No, it's gonna be domestic violence that's gonna happen here. Yeah. Yeah. So part is going to lose a piece of its calf. We didn't get a new list. We did the whole list. You guys got 112 already. That's a nice number. Bobby doesn't like mistakes. Uh oh. Oh number Bobby doesn't like mistakes Uh-oh, oh

Bobby does not like mistakes fucking I just want to say now at some point I'm gonna pull out my phone just to re up the My car is at a meter so I'm gonna pull it out to As long as you don't pull out a swarm up Your car in a meter really it's's on a meter, yeah. Really? Do you have to put money in it? Where is it? No, I mean, I can do it from my phone. Do it from the app.

What app? I mean, Mr. Technology's never heard of this? Yeah, I'll show it to you. Oh my God. Are you kidding me? Wait a minute. Mark, why do you see? So I can park my car out front and just keep up

loading the fucking money. Yeah, exactly. Look at that right there. I then just put the zone in and you just load it up. Put your credit card. How did you not hear about that? On the fucking, on the little right there. I then just put the zone in and you just load it up put your credit card How did you not hear about that on the fucking on the little blue box? Yeah Well, here's what you have to do. Did you do marise you before? Sometimes she takes over

Well, that's because the honest this is the honest is a character. Yeah, Edgeless is real Angelou actually said believe in my heart. Angelou said to me, he goes, you didn't read a group text, I said, no, I'm too busy being 17 different people during the week. Yeah. Who is it being? It gets a frenic.

I know, I never have, I never have sympathy for Chip. Yeah. When I know that there's fucking Yannis there's nine people. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I didn't know that they had an app.

So what you do though, say it's a two out, say it's a two hour. I get it, I'm not a moron. No, but I'm gonna tell you this secret. I know how it works. No, I know you know how it works, but you don't know how to be a scheming dirt bag. Like I do.

So yeah, come on. So what you do is, you don't, if you need like four hours, you don't put it in the app right away. What you do is you pay for the two hours, you get the actual paper receipt, and then you put that in your window, and then let that go for two hours, and then you do the app for another two hours,

because once the two hours expires on the app, you can't re-up it. You have to go move your car, or you'll get a ticket. So that's how you get four hours out of, that's how you cheat the system with that app. Real simple. If you need four hours instead of two, so there you go. So you can only do two hours once.

You can do two hours once, but then you can use another code. We shouldn't be saying this on the air. Why? Because then we're gonna ruin it. Do you know how many fucking PBA cards I have? But they're gonna figure out that people are doing that. First of all, PBA cards don't do shit. You, the first one, the guy that pulls you out

was a dick, doesn't care about people. I've gotten forward parking, that four moving violation tickets in the car with the honest. Yeah, and you know the guy who gave you the card, do you ever remember the name on the back? Well, one time I gave, one time I gave the card, yes, kid Chris Calviannis, I gave the card

and the cop threw it on the floor. There's like two, three years ago. That's littering, did you say that's a ticket? That's a hundred and fifty dollar ticket. No, I'm saying. We should've took a video and that's littering. No. That's littering. Did you say that's a ticket? That's $150 ticket. No, I'm saying. We should have took a video and that's littering. No. That's actually, I didn't say anything

because I had to serve Joe Shacon in the car. So I figured, yeah. You have a minority in the car. You got an R&D car. You have a four-year-old. Yeah, yeah. Tattoo. Tattoo.

Tat it up, yeah. So I figured, yeah. Yeah, it looks like a dancer for JLo. Yeah. Not anymore retired. Yeah. Now he teaches kids in the Bronx. Wait, I'm with a car. Come on, you can do it. With an over-bite. I just haven't over-bite. Yeah. Now he teaches kids in the Bronx. Wait, I'm with the party. You can do it with an overbite.

Yeah, look at that. Oh geez. Why the fuck is a boxer? Oh fucking kill me. I'm fucking kill everybody. Yeah. He's a good kid. Shout out to Biccia. He can't get his teeth on close. There's always that little gap. You know, who could Beyonce? What?

I heard this story. We's talking about? Why? It's like a big headline. Somebody bit her in the face at a party and they're withholding the name of the person who did it. Nobody wants to say who did it. There's a rumor. It was either Jennifer, what's the big one? Lawrence.

Jennifer Lawrence. No way. Amy Schumer. No way. Or Alina Dunham. Why would they run her? I don't understand. I don't know. They were high or strong. They rat. They were high or they're in bad salts.

And like, yeah, I'm gonna bite Beyonce, you know? Like, and she's like wearing, she has like a patch over her cheek because she got bit. Stop it. I swear to God, I'm not joking. I wish we had a computer. I wish we had a computer we could see this on.

Yeah, I wish we had a computer we could see this on. Yeah, I wish we had a computer we could see this on. I wish we had a computer we could see this on. I wish we had a computer we could see this on. Yeah, I wish we had a computer we could see this on. I wish we had a computer we could see this on. Yeah, I wish we had a computer we could see this on. Yeah, I wish we had a computer we could see this on. Yeah, I wish we had a computer we could see this on.

Yeah, I wish we had a computer we could see this on. Yeah, I wish we had a computer we could see this on. Yeah, I wish we had a computer we could see this on. Yeah, I wish we had a computer we could see this on. Yeah, I wish we had a computer we could see this on. Yeah, I wish we had a computer we could see this on. Yeah, I wish we had a computer we could see this on. like if I mean what the fuck. Oh boy. He didn't send them to me. Has he ever hit you? He's got a very close. He's got a close right? Can we bring up your hunts, aye? If that bottle would hit me, I would have sued. I would have sued you. I hope you sue me so it can all end. I just doubt it would be my excuse.

Just sued me. I didn't have the money. It's all over. I have to go. Have the fucking studio. I don't have to fucking deal with anybody. I just fucking do my show from the shed Fucking by the way I like I thoroughly enjoyed that episode. Oh, I'm murder you with your own knives

I want to get yeah, well this is one thing I want to talk about is that you're gonna give me the five bucks back, right? Oh, no, I didn't fucking say Tiffany had a Tiffany had it. No, she Tiffany had it. She like, who wants to know who did it? Oh, okay. So was it a joke or she really upset? No, well, Tiffany Hattish is, I think, really upset, but Beyonce's not, I guess, but somebody bit Beyonce.

Somebody bit Beyonce like how? They better. In the cheek. Is this bullshit? Like, do they not bullshit? It's not bullshit, but they don't care, right? I don't know. There's no images of the bite mark.

I don't know, I was just told about this. Oh my god. This is such gossip. What does it say? So many questions. First of all, we got to read it in this voice. How? How is it? It says it went down. All right. So here we go. Can you read that? The actress told GQ she met Beyonce last December what? Like you're using an ad blocker. Wow. We've been watching porn, Zach. What have you been doing, Zach? Google and be heading videos. We jerk off the baby heading videos. All right. Let's read it. Read it. They had it.

Not you. Oh, okay. Who's going to read it? Oh, she reads it. I'm just scared of her voice comes out. You're going to throw something at her. I'm not going to throw anything at it. I'm a problem. I don't want to. I'm not going to throw anything. I just can't have you thought i don't want to i'm not going to throw anything i just want things done can we just read it the actress told gq she met bianca last December while at a party in los angeles also attended by the superstars singer rapper rapper mogul

husband jazzy according to hattish there was an actress at said party who was doing the mostest hattish said she witnessed she witnessed Beyonce grab her husband and storm off. She told GQ an actress bit. Yes. Oh, just a better voice reading that. I really never thought I would live to see this headline.

I was really. Do you have to keep living? Just, it's just, if someone guessed what's the strangest headline you'll ever read, it's like actress Bites Beyoncé. I know. That's a weird one. Yeah, but I want, but why, I don't understand why, exactly.

Those three girls, their names coming up. Because they, first of all, they're three powerful women, four women, you know, that's just, oh, is she biting? What is Beyoncé biting? No, let's just, oh, she biting, is Beyonce biting hot? No, let's just a picture of Beyonce and oh my god. What does that say? Hi, Jody. What does that say? Was it Jody Foster? No. How come what does that say to this party?

Ha ha ha. See cut. Hi, Jody. The cut has suggested that Sarah Foster may have been the person Tiffany hadish was referring to in GQ when she said that an actress bit Beyoncé do you have a comment? Sarah Foster, it's a big mystery who better and I don't know why Beyonce won't come out and say it. It's all marketing stuff. It's all marketer. What do you mean? That's what they do. It's all marketing like even like with the Jay Z and Beyoncé did he cheat? Did he not cheat? It's all to sell they all it's this is just a machine So who knows if anyone Or not Zach Isis was nodding his head. That's why he wants it. Yeah, right? Yeah, and all those fucking kids at the school of fucking liberal actors

Yeah, they're it's all fucking liberal rap. False flag false flag false fucking Flags I just drive on the highway young false flag false false flag, false flag, false flag, false flag, you're gonna do a bearage boys on false flags. All right, it's being a bearage boys, you guys are here today, the bearage boys, the history, hyenas, and you have your new Patreon, which is the Patreon, what is the Patreon name, by the way, what's the name of your channel?

The bearage boys, the bear of your channel? Bayridge Boys. The Bayridge Boys channel. So it's patreon.com slash Bayridge Boys. Yeah. It's your channel that you guys put up, and you guys, what do you have on the channel? If I go there, which I'm gonna, and I'm gonna become a member of this.

I'm a member of yours. I'm a member of yours too. I'm coming. All right, fine. I'm coming. I had to put mine up. Fine. But now I'm in on it.

But tell me, if I go there and I, fine. I'm coming. I had to put mine up. Fine. But now I'm in on it. But tell me, if I go there and I, what do I get? Cuties with smoothie. Y'all see y'all. Well, you're gonna get soon, you're gonna get soon, you're gonna get our talk show cuties with smoothies. Yeah. Okay.

That's the fun story. What is it? It's you're actually, I think he should be our first guest. I think Bobby's gonna be our first guest. I really mean that. I was thinking about that in the bottom. Bobby, what? Why do you think he should be our first guest. I think Bobby's gonna be our first guy I really mean that I was thinking about that Why do you think he's not meaning it to what we just want? We want to talk shit about me No, no, I'm serious about this one. I know we talked about him in the car

What a fucking fat piece of shit is and we want none to do with them, but I'm serious. He should be on No, well, so what if you go to our patreon page right now your channel the our channel but I'm serious, you should be on it. Why are you gonna question them? I don't know. No, well, so what, if you go to our Patreon page right now, channel, our channel, yeah, sorry, right now he's right, Lingo. Yes. What you'll get for Patreon members, what you'll get is, is bonus podcast. Yes.

You'll get our behind the scenes history tour videos. Those are fun. What can I say something about this? I love the actual show history behind this. Thank you Bob. Because you're actually, you do talk about history. You talk about other things. But this, this other aspect of it,

where you have these, you're yana saying the mic. Yeah, yeah, that's what that's called. Yeah, there's only two people that get to do that. Yana said that when it doesn't bug me. Yeah, and that's, that Yannis is the original. Cause I've been doing it from the beginning. Literally, first time on the show, I'm gonna do this and I went,

and I just spent a lot of money on these mic stands, but I'm gonna do this is more comfortable. And it just, he's young when I like doing that. So there you go. He's Yannis in the mic. I like to move around a little bit. You do, you like to lean, you like to lean back. Yeah, you like to lean back,

but you like, you want a good sound on your voice. Yeah, you don't like I don't like what it's far like this No, no I like it with me. Yeah, you like this. Yeah So what you're going on these little video tours and you're fucking learning history together Yes, and we often drink smoothies when we do it We do well that's the new the new thing is cuties with smoothies And that's like a whole new thing But what we've been doing with the history videos is we really do like we like people think like some of our peers are like our fans, they like, oh, like you're doing that thing to

like try to be funny or like what you that's a funny thing. You guys doing it's like we're doing it because we really truly enjoy it. We were doing history stuff before we had a channel. We would just go on history tours to not film it at all. We would just go for our own leisure and we like, we just enjoy it because, you know, we're a couple of cuties with smoothies. We're a couple of True Blue Gays. We're a True Blue Gays.

That's another thing. What is that? A True Blue Gays. Doesn't really mean anything. I think one of us just said it on the first podcast. It's like, I'm a True Blue Gay. And then I'm just stuck and now people yell at us on the street. Okay.

Oh, put in Bay Ridge. You have both. Yeah, no, bro. You want to hear something really funny? Yes. The past two days. My podcast is based on that. Based on funny.

I'm relying on that. I didn't see this coming, but yesterday, me and Chris was getting a smoothie, and he was getting me a smoothie. I was picking him up. I like to just say it's smoothie. Yeah. And he got recognized in the smoothie place. and the girl made us make a video, make a cuties with the smoothie. And then today I was getting a smoothie and the guy who

worked at the smoothie spot, different smoothie space, different smoothie spot in the East Village was like, can I take a picture with you while you're holding the smoothie? I'm telling you, you're on to something. You too. Yeah. You too. You're in the honest. Let me just, let me just say this. You in the honest are on to something. I, no, you guys are getting brutal. I am. Listen, listen, listen. What are you gonna do? Right? Yeah, we not gonna do it. I'm telling you though, this cutie is just moving thing. I don't want to like it. I saw it. I was like, I don't want to like it. I want to call them up individually right

now and just curse them out. You motherfuckers. But here what I realized to it, I'm one of these. Okay, there's there's alpha males. Yeah. There's the fucking I like the the Rogans and the Billy burrs and you know, they're the fucking alpha males. They're like, you know, basketball. Well, what was his stats on the, how do you fucking kill a moose? You know, this is this is the fucking heart of a elk, right? You know, name and I friend and you know, and I fly the you know, they're fucking real man. They know about sport. They know manly cars and and they just know a lot of and they don't really fuck around with silly shit. Right. You know what I mean? Then there's the alpha male like us. It's a it's not it's not a level below or above. It's it's on the same tier. Right, but it's a silly alpha male. We fuck with smoothies. Yes. Where you

can do the little silly voice. Yeah. We can talk about sucking dick everyone. So why? Mean it not mean it. Who knows? Who knows? Yeah. But you like you like bangins. You like banging? Yeah. Still an alpha. Yeah. You still like banging. You like to go to the sports games? Yeah. We went to a island just game yesterday, but before the island's game, what'd you do? How'd some smoothie? Smoothies are fucking delicious. Yeah, listen, nobody's fucking we want to argument. I'll tell you who's arguing that. What about what about this? Like six months ago, I went to the doctor. I got a bunch of blood work and it turned out I actually had I was pre-diabetic. So it was like that was like a big I was 32 years was pre-diabetic. So it was like, that was like a big, I was 32 years old, pre-diabetic. And the doctor went, wow, you're white.

What, yeah. I swear. Just in your hips. Yeah. This is where the pre-diabetes lives. So, Yannis, like six months ago we were in Bay Ridge, I was like, all flustered, I mean, I wasn't expecting to hear that.

And he goes, you, because you eat too much sugar, it's just too much, you eat blatant sugar, you say, every time you have a craving, just have a smoothie. And that, and that, and started doing that. And then I got my blood work back two days ago and pre-dibities is gone. Really? Yeah. It's gone. It's gone. The doctor said it's gone. It's gone. That is out. Bobby, that's where we're putting you on the show first. We want to get you onto smithies. Yeah. I want to, I'm going to, but I'm here to Operation save your foot cuties with smoothies

And they were just gonna ask you questions Let me ask question though if I go on smoothies with cuties Am I a cutie? You're a cutie with a smoothie if you get invited on cuties with smoothies It's because you're either a cutie or you just love smoothies. Yeah No, you're not both. Okay, once you grab that smoothie, and you put it up, and I take a sip, the first sip, you all back. And I'm like, then I'm a what? Cutie with a smoothie. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Automatically be a couple of cuties with this. Yeah, and it's gonna be a cool interview. You know, I ask you like real questions, like probably alpha-mill questions. Yeah, and every few minutes, but then we take the camera and go, cuties with smoothie and I'm like a sip. And yeah, they'll probably get played out

after a couple of bucks. We're gonna be talking about men's stuff, but sipping and jade. See you again. See you again, man, man on this stuff. Oh yeah, we wanna start off with you, cause like we, you know, but we wanna also get like non-comics,

like maybe just like a construction worker off the street. Right, just ask him shit about his kids or what he likes to do in the gym, but have him have a fucking Just having my fucking raspberry blast while he's sipping in his throat. No, can you ever have a Like like a gay guy on We got two true blue gaze host and Yeah, two gaze host in it. So yeah more gays is welcome, but you could have a true pink pink rainbow gay on oh We have a tail and stop roast on right? Okay, yeah

Taking bull dick and the tail slapped him in the tooth. It's fucking cappuccino maker dick Models that Mattails Instagram Fucking pizza gold in his pants. He's a gorgeous human being. His Instagram's like a gay porn site. It's great. Yeah, it's great. I mean, he's hot.

Yeah. Or just something to look at when you take a shit. Yeah. We got something coming out of your bum, not going in. I think this is a great idea. This is what I love about the Bayridge boys, is that you guys are these motherfuckers. Yeah, but you're silly, you goofy,

you have your own language. We don't take that. We're just catching on. We're having a blast. Yeah, we're having a blast. And yeah, we're just, and even with our history podcast, like we do the research,

but like we don't try to fact check, or we don't sit here and say we're historians, people sometimes tweet like about the mistakes We making we're like good. Yeah, fucking key example of one of the things you've learned about history on the show We've got a lot of things. I mean well, one of the places you went Well, I think the so far I think the most many the most out of the podcast a month ago the most interesting already done a bunch of tours We've done it to oh, yeah, like all civil war shit. You can have any question about the civil war. Okay, when was the civil war?

1861, 1865. Yep. How did the civil war end? With the North. Out of pop, at the Maddox courthouse. Yeah, the list is grand. Robert Lee surrendered to you.

List is grand. The courthouse. Yeah. The biggest battle in the Antietam. Antietam. Most people were killed over the court on one day and over the course of a battle, battle of Gettysburg.

You two fucking morons are really learning shit. So we do 23,000 people died on that day. So what we do, we sit there and we fucking spank it to the history. And I also pissed off. I also took a piss in the Antietam battle field scumbag. Do you want to see that video? What did you do?

I took a pee. I wanted to be a part of it. You took a piss at the Antietam battle field on the Confederate side. I had to go that's a I did on the Confederate side did on the Confederate side I did it where I knew Confederate bodies were because we learned where the lines were and we're like I'm gonna be on the computer soldiers and that's what you could see on our patreon page towards like stuff like that Yeah, yeah, yeah, could you get you probably getting trouble for that? Oh, well, that's the video arrested Chris is telling me that and I just go and do it Anyway, so you're the rogue probably getting trouble for that. Oh, well, that's the video. You're arrested for that. Chris is telling me that and I just go and do it anyway. Does it, does it anyone?

So you're the rogue, you're the rogue. I'm the fucking rebel. Yeah, I'm the straight man. Yeah. Yeah. I'm the true blue guy. I'm a straight, I'm a straight man. Yeah, air quotes straight man.

Yeah. What do you think that is though about guys who like, I mean, like, I love being silly, I love being a fucking loon. I love. And then there's some guys like, dude, knock that shit off. Like, I think those are the guys who like I mean like I love being silly I love being a fucking loon I love yeah and then there's some guys like Dude knock that shit off like I think those are the guys who are gay yeah, I think if you're truly not Yeah, I'm comfortable. Yeah, I want to an all-boy Catholic high school Okay, and I plan on the basketball team and he got sucked off twice by priests any time that's true Anytime lucky any

I had a priest who things that might have priest when I was getting sober was like one of my best friends Did my we all had all the time? He never tried to suck me off and he got convicted of sucking people Like when I found out you later that he had to go to the home Yeah, I'm like he people like did he ever try anything with you guys hung out all the time like not want that He kissed me on the neck once he saw his he wet He wet, he wet, let me on, he gave me a nice fucking, like, you know that kiss when you're trying to get the girl to like you, and you give her that right on the neck

on the other ear. Yeah. He did that to my neck. Did it make you feel unattractive? That he didn't go for you? Well, I mean, look, after the fact, you find out you like, what, you know, was I not a cutie with a booty? I was cute. You were cute. Oh my God. You were cute. You're fucking right. It was a reason. Talk about Bobby with, but you're still cute,

though. If, if, if young Bob Porter recon Bobby, that's Mattay, Mattay, Mattay, I would have been all over Porter recon Bobby. 100%. Yeah. Yeah. Who knows? I think so. You are. I love the cute couple. You get literally fucking stare Chris with that eyebrow. I don't know, maybe not. Yeah. Just immediately backed out. Yeah. This is the video of Janus Pying.

Oh, there it is. Let's see this. Here we go. I mean, dude. I'm going to go past this. Oh my God. You need soldier hats on. You guys, look good in the hats. It's got an animal, hyena, I'm gonna go piss. All right, you need soldier hats on. You guys, they look good in the hats.

It's got an animal, hyena, I deal with. Just taking a piss on the sacred ground probably where somebody's corpse was. I mean, what a piece of shit. What the fuck? There's somebody's house right there. That's the battlefield there. That's where they fall.

What's that? Someone's house on the battlefield. Is someone still living now? Yeah. And you're a peon right in front of somebody's house. With's someone's house, someone's house on the battlefield. Is someone still living now? Uh, yeah. And you're a peon right in front of somebody's house. With a cup of coffee in my mouth. There's probably a little kid in there doing homework. Yes, with a quill.

And you're a fucking pissing. Ha ha ha. Oh my god, you're peon. I got a union hat on, it's okay. Ha ha ha. Yeah. I don't know if you can get how beautiful this like really then I just go off on my own thing Landscape here. Talk about the landscape. I mean it's unreal true blue gay. That's true blue gay. Yeah

And it comes running back now. You feel good you fucking hyena You For the fucking blue boys and blue that one was for them blue. Yeah, I mean, look, man, can I say something that is fucking interesting to me. Well, that's like a tease of when we put on Instagram, the whole videos of that are only on the Patreon. I mean, two fucking humps, learning history in the middle of nowhere and the fact that one of you humps when I gotta go take a piss. And the other one is like, dude, what are you doing?

I mean, that,. You know, sometimes, I peed in, when I was in Belgium, I was in a castle. I think it was an antwerp. It was four-year-old castle. It was just beautiful castle. And I'm up at the top and one of these little things and there was holes down, you know? And I go, what's that for?

And it was, oh, that's where the guy, the guards would be up here, and that was with a pee or a poo through that, because they'd be up here, and they would just go right into the river. And meanwhile, there's all tours on these rivers, you know, on the boats, going by the castle. So I went my cock out and I peed it. So for the first time in 400 years, a boat was going by, and there was just piss coming down.

It was some fucking fat soldier. You can take the kid out of boss and you can take the boss and then you can. I fucking peer a fucking street kid Bobby. I pissed in a four-year-old toilet. You pissed in somebody's grave. We're fucking kids from the street. Just a couple of kids from Bayridge.

But I did do some about it that made me happy. It was, I mean, that's like historical. So you guys, I mean, you're going to, you guys go everywhere, you do, are you just going there to do this or do comedy? Yeah. Well, I was doing a weekend and Chris, I asked Chris to come with me. So he came and we made it a Bayridge boys show. And then we went and we did fucking tours. So we, we could stand up at night and then we during the day we hit battlefields, bat. We hit battlefields everywhere and when that one was civil war stuff, uh, we were, we were Winchester, Virginia, um, and then we just went around. We went to Harper's Ferry, West Virginia. We just, excuse me, Harper's Ferry, West Virginia. Take the, take the, take the,

don't go to Harper's Ferry for the time we get seriously, it's gorgeous. If you want to have another baby, go to fucking Harper's Corps. I don't know if you can's gorgeous. If you want to have another baby go to fucking Harper's Core, I don't know if you do you don't Next to it's gonna take a lot more than a fucking nice sunset and some little stores. Yeah to Fadon to want to fucking I think I have a couple antique store. It's in a fucking you know in a house somewhere with some history to it It's fucking no, it's beautiful. What is it? is it? Well here's a good another reason for you to go They got the only candy store in America What's your a1c? I don't know what my what you're a1c?

Get in person. Oh, sorry It's a 5.7. It's a problem. Okay. I. It's a whole five point seven, it's a problem. Okay, I'm pretty diabetic. Oh, you are. So it's probably a five point seven. My new doctor, I don't know, I've talked about this before on the show. I don't, she's a fucking lunatic.

Okay. Like she said, we're sitting there talking, I'm trying to get this test out of it, right? The calcium test, I have to call on how to heart attack. Sure. I want all these tests done. And I, I wanted this calcium test, right? To see if she's like, well, I can't just give that to you.

I'm like, why? Yeah, she's what you have to do this and that and this and that. She takes my blood pressure. It's 170 over 100. That's not much of a lie. Yeah. Okay, she goes, I want to put you know, I go, what? She didn't put, no, okay, I'm going to say this.

So I'm like, listen, I asked her another question. She her another question goes well that's the what is the veins come out and the arteries go in no the veins go in and the arteries pump out She's doing this out loud. I'm like what the fuck did you just say? Wow? You don't know what the fucking veins and arteries do I was like Well, I could have googled it faster than she figured it out Right you get a second opinion then? Well anyway, it's because I'm sick, cause you can't, I don't wanna go, this is my second doctor,

I thought the other ones didn't like you either. And then, so then I went, I got my heart checked. I got everything, next week I went for a stress test, 128 over 80. Perfect blood pressure. I'm like, what the fuck? I think she used the small bands on me. Probably, yeah. And then she's trying to get me, she was trying to get me a blood pressure medication. Like what the fuck? I think she used the small bands on me. Probably.

Yeah. And she's trying to get me, she was trying to get me a blood pressure medication. So she would have improperly put you on that. Yeah. You know, you may have to change doctors. I'm no doctor. What the fuck is that?

I know. Is she young? Yeah. It's the end problem. See, that's what I was talking about the other day. Yeah. Nobody ever wants to, you know what? Doctrine.

No. Well, that's the problem. Yeah. Yeah, you got to get yourself an Indian doctor. Well, the Indian doctor was the one I did the stress test with. I didn't got the numbers right. He goes like this, he goes, I'm not even going to let you finish this because you're fucking great. I go, do I need to get a calcium test? He goes, you don't need to, they put, you know, you don't need that.

You don't need that. You're fine. I'm telling you right now, you're good for the next couple of years. Keep your shit together, lose weight because you're too fat. And that's, he didn't work like that, but. Yeah, they need to be that, you always need to go to an Indian. That's the only problem I have with a poo if it's not my fucking doctor. Really?

I mean, yeah, that's the only time I got a problem with a poo. It's like, if you're not my doctor, what are you going on? You never heard that Harry Condola Balu fucking documentary comment through the problem with a poo about he bitches about how fucking Indian people don't have it good in this country. And he cries about it on TV. He made a documentary about how to racist the Apooh was on the Simpsons.

I would love to have you have, I would love for you to book him on this podcast. I mean, show up and beat the shit out of him right on that couch. You'd kind of make his point correct. We just honk. When you really put a fucking ex-cubase before it on that couch. I'm probably, you'd kinda make his point correct. Yeah, it was just hog time. When you really put a fucking exhumation

board on that whole documentary, I feel like, I feel like we would beat him up and I'd weed hog time and then I would just get a little too gay and start rubbing my balls on his lips and y'all's like, what are you doing? I'm just smacking his ass. I ain't be like, yeah dude, no smoothie cuties with smoothies, I mean, this is too far.

You're gonna have a smoothie with you. I know what are you doing. You just have my penis in'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I mean like it's either cakes or food. No, it's not either cakes or food. Cause he had a problem with cakes. I have a problem with carbohydrates. Okay. So here's my problem. Here's my problem. The other day, I...

She has a very... Sometimes you look at Gabby, she's like this. Like she's expecting someone to take a picture of her. Yes! Like, yes! She's always waiting for someone to pop up and take shots and then go back down. She just looked alert for a water bottle in the face.

That's what I read. Once a comment, once a comment. Never do that. That's it. She seems like a pro at domestic abuse. Ha ha ha. Boom. She grew up with a rock dad.

Ha ha ha ha. That's actually okay. Ha ha ha ha. Carbs. Carb hard drinks. The other day, okay, here's actually okay. Carbs. Carb hard drinks. The other day, okay, here's a deal. I'm not sure. I do the Weight Watchers thing so you can have some cars, right?

So I'm doing it, doing it, doing everything's going great, going to the gym. All of a sudden, my account gets shut down. I guess my wife canceled it. Didn't know it was on the Weight Watchers. I was paying for it for six years. Never used it, okay? So now she can't do it because we're going through our bills, I have all these $20 think blah blah blah.

So she says, I told her to cancel all the shit that I'm not using. So she can't. So now I gotta go it on way watch. And I'm like, fuck you guys. They bring me back on three days later. They get me man for a sign back up, but you kind of get off the thing. So I went in and I wasn't putting my food in and I went and I got cheesets and I had two cheesets. Two bags or two cheesets.

Two individual cheesets. I said, let me have a couple of these little snack. And then I was like, I can have three more. Yeah. You have two cheesets. I fucking challenge anybody. Yeah. To have two cheesets. I fucking challenge.

I won't be able to do it. Anybody. I challenge fucking Joe Rogan. Yeah. To have two cheeses. You can't be possible. I fucking challenge. I won't be able to do it. Anybody. I challenge fucking Joe Rogan. Yeah. To have two cheeses. It can't be done. It's impossible. I challenge fucking Neil Armstrong. Yeah.

To have two cheeses. He won't be able to do it. I challenge the president. I'll president. He won't be able to do it. Nobody can do it. Nobody can do it. Not even Obama.

Not even Obama would be able to do it. No. No. No.. Nobody can do it. Not even Obama. Not even Obama would be able to do it. No, no, no. No. No, you have to. I saw myself. I was out of my body and I was, my hand went into the box as a, as a, as a claw like in Denny's.

Yeah. You know Denny's? Yeah. And I, my claw went down and grabbed a fist full of fucking cheezards. Yeah. And I fucking sat there and ate them. I had so much cheezards in my like a little squirrel, like mushed up cheezards.

And I felt so good, like the endorphins released in the back of my brain. Yes. And I was like, oh, this is a dream. The calm comes over you. Yeah. Then I got the box. I got the box. And I went to the couch and I shut the lights off not all the way.

I have a dimmer and I dimmed it down. And then I got a movie and I got it right to play right at the beginning. And I had it set and I got the box of cheese. And I got a diet lime coke with the new ones. They're very thin. Oh, there's an extra cock, but they look thin. A sexy like European. And I cracked it, and I got the box,

and I hit play on the movie, and the stars came out of the no, and they went over the lake, and just one of the stars touched the lake, like splashed, and went up, and wrote, I think it was Paramount. And the movie stars. And I took another fistful of Jesus.

And I ate that box. It was beautiful night. The entire box. And you can't go to weight watches and type in the entire box. It's true. It was. It does.

They just say, it says, you're done. Yeah. That's really the way you just described it is how it was was wasn't it? It's a calm. It's like an attic like the honest used to say when I would have a black and white cookie when we would work together a few years ago there would be a calm that would come over me and I remember like if I didn't get my sweets like my ears would always be hot. They'd be so hot. I'd like I would walk

into place like my fucking ears are on fire but then I'd have I have a spoon I find a spoon full of gelato, and then all of a sudden my ears, perfect temp. Yeah, I'm not a fucking alien, okay. Yeah, I don't know what that fucking alien is. I don't know what it is, but my ears are like, ad shit. But my point is just getting on smoothies,

just doing smoothies. Anytime I had the, okay, here's perfect example. Yesterday, I had a peanut butter, I had a peanut butter, banana, and cinnamon smoothie. And that was my cheat, because normally it would just be like a peanut butter. Yes, because normally it would just be like, I would have gotten like a vegetable juice,

or would have gotten like some kind of smoothie with at least having some kind of vegetable in it, like kale broccoli, maybe an apple. But it got to the point now in the last six months where that banana and peanut butter was cheating for me. Where six months ago, that would have been my healthy choice. The banana isn't peanut butter, but now it's the cheat. I don't listen.

I got to tighten up. I don't do a, I'm not a sweet guy. I love sweets. I don't give a fuck, but I cannot have them. I don't give a fuck about them. But I've been, I've been, I've been having bagel after bagel after that. Yeah. If there's anything better than a fucking, an egg bagel, toasted, butter, and then cream cheese. You tell me.

Yeah. How many of them do you have? Seven. No, I'm kidding. Yeah. I have two. Two. I have two.

But I have one. Yeah. And then I nod shawantly. Now when I go to the bagel store, my wife says, don't get a lot of bagels. Right. She wants me to go to the three, but I feel guilty. I feel when I get there, like the little Chinese lady is gonna, she goes, how many you want? I go three, and she goes, that's it?

And I'm like, oh, maybe, okay, give me a dozen. And okay, you got seven if you like, okay. So I get, I get, you know, two egg baggles. Well, that's a New York problem. You could solve that problem if you move down in New York. The baggles are, they're only good here. Like that, they're disgusting everywhere else you go but not Boston. But the problem or you could just say you know what you can say, Bob? You could just go.

No, just just give me three. How about this? And then what would you say? Okay. It doesn't matter what you said. You say, okay. You say, listen lady, if you want fucking ice here tomorrow, you better just give me three bagels She didn't sound like she did too much arm twisting wow Okay, 27 Three donuts that's my thing. I always get a good. I feel bad for it. I do, I feel bad.

They're so cheap donuts. But even though those carbs turn into sugar in your body, the fact that you're not eating blatant sugar, like I was like donuts and cakes, you don't really, because sugar is the biggest problem. And so you don't have that problem. So everything else will fall at the,

at the way you say it. Yeah, but like tonight, I'm supposed to go to the gym tonight. Here's, I was supposed to go last night, but we shot all day yesterday. Yeah. And I was, and then my kid came back and we hung out. We had to put him down. And then by the time it was fucking 10, I'm wiped.

Of course. And audition, I had to go learn lines. Yeah. Hang on a second. Do you have something I can throw at you? No, I told you I was gonna be doing it. I gave you warning. We're charging the car. We're charging. Recharge, recharge in the car. What does that mean? I'm putting more money in the meter. Meadow. Yeah. When he did. I see even one. Yeah.

Why are you so intent on it? Can you at least look at, look, can you look up a little bit? What's because he's 50 years old. He fucking can't see. Is this make you feel better, Bob? Yeah, I mean, you feel like you're filming me. Yeah, that's all right. Cause I do this when I'm talking to Chris. So yeah, dude, I mean smoothies are the way to go. Yeah, I'm getting ready for a fucking snap shot. Yeah, yeah, partial lips.

Yeah, I'm gonna talk about that. I got sidetrack today really quick. My put that down, you freaking me out now. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

What's that? That's another thing I'm gonna do. I just say, well, because it started, because it started with one day, one day. I wanna do every week we use it. Yeah. I was going to Mito, I was, because what happened was,

he's had this whole thing started. So we're doing the Bay Ridge boys and then out of nowhere, I was feeling like really self-conscious about myself. So I texted him, I said, hey bro, I was like, what's up, how's everything? I was like, can I ask you a serious question? You think I'm a cute kid

and then he was like, the word cute is fucking nauseating, coming from another man. He was like, it's literally, he, he actually called me. He said, I just wanted like, we're friends. He said, but don't take cute to me. I thought it's like offensive. It's gross.

I don't want it to work cute. And your head, don't fucking match. Just doesn't match. So then I started to play with it. And then like, I saw him the next day. And I was like, am I cutie with a booty? I thought, and then one day we just had smoothies. And then it just happened.

We were like, cuties with smoothies. Yeah. And now we call people yours, fucking CWS. Cutie with smoothies and then it just happened. We were like cuties with smoothies And now and now we call people yours fucking CWS WS and I like it and another thing you can do now on our podcast be listening to history hyenas Yeah, um is you can if you do something cool and you join our join our our patreon channel You can be the ppw, which is the pseudo penis of the week because history hyenas have a pseudo penis Hyenas have a pseudo penis. Hyenas have a pseudo penis. What do you mean? It's a matriarchal.

Yeah, why did you listen? You guys came to me. We talked about the show. You know, you surreptical you. You had this idea. I'm like, okay. And then you were history, Hyenas. And I was like, what the fuck?

I mean, out of all the names I've ever had to fucking deal with. I was like, I'm like, all right, what the fuck is that? Why hanging in this? And then the logo, we had to create your logo. We want our faces and I was like, what are these guys fucking with me? I swear to God, I was like, people. Are these guys fucking just, is this part of some gag

or am I in like some, like let's see if that's all we'll do it? No, the people think that all the time, like, gag or mine like some, like let's see if that's all we'll do it. No, the people think that all the time, the reason why we chose the animal hyenas, because well, we love it, because it's the only animal. Well, yeah, fucking tell them about hyenas. Hyenas are fascinating. I've been fascinating with hyenas for a long time. They don't, they aren't really related to any other animal. They're not dogs, they're not cats, they're not related to either one.

They seem to have their own lineage, they're kind of a mystery. They're vicious, they're wild, they thrive in chaos, they come limping around, stealing kills. It's almost like a comedy when you see one coming, you're like, here comes these assholes. Assholes, it's gonna get bad. And the reason why we call that history, Hyenas is because one thing that they do

is they eat the entire animal, they eat the bone, they eat all the flesh in the bone, and then they throw it up and they eat their own puke. And that's what we do at history. We consume it all and then we throw it up on the podcast and a lot of times. So there was something to this. Yes. There was a method to why we're not history professors.

We're history. I mean, we just attack it. We just go fucking wild. We'll just go. Like you piss on it. We have fucking wild. Like you ask me questions, you're like, you know, battle van titanium and I'll fucking be like, yeah, like 25,000 fucking guys died, but maybe that's not the right answer

Yeah, but I do know that the battle, Vantina was the bloodiest, but the right, you know, a story to be able to break it down Right, I'll tell you the routes they took and you know, is that we're not historians. We're history hyenas Well, what about? Wow, wow, that worked out Cuties with smoothies I want to do it so bad You're gonna be the first guest. It's fine. It's a little right. We don't have a place yet So we're gonna use your shed

Shed became this mecca of Fuck 11 you kidding me maxes outside He's telling a story max Max is bald later in life. He's like 40. No, there was all kinds of people around. Yeah, we had Chris Rock started doing this show out of the back. Blue up. Louis made his comeback in the shed.

It started with cuties with smoothies. It just got to you guys cuties with smoothies. And then it's all our old footage. Yeah, footage becomes so crazy. Yeah, and it's 10 years later. We were killed in an African safari by life by fucking by Hyenas by he knows you know great that would be because I was fucking murdered by hyenas I would that would epic. I would I would consider that an honor. Yeah, I by hyena They're just throwing your fucking. Yeah, but they couldn't kill Chris cuz his hips were too big

Couldn't get through that hip bone They couldn't all throw it They gave it the only time I ever gave up Yeah, and they all get diabetes But check this out, so it's a matriarchal society Yeah We're the women rule and the women have I got a mostly gabby

I suppose he gabby's face Yeah, this is the Women rule Women rule, they're society Well Gab, this is the women rule women rule their society Well, Gabby's is women rule right now. Yeah, doesn't Gabby look like the The cop and Hawaii 50 the new one like the new rookie cop. I didn't watch it. Yeah, whatever was it was a stretch. Go So the women the women I knew that joke was gonna I went doesn went, it doesn't Gabby, and I actually went. Halfway through, yeah. I literally trailed that Gabby look like the, uh, the, uh.

Doesn't she look like that extra in TJ Hooker? Anyone see that? That's what I was trying to go for! That's was the joke! God, so they have a pseudo penis. I just think you like saying that. It's why. They actually have these things that look like penises.

Yeah, pull it off. And they give pseudo. They're pseudo. They're not real penises, but the women have penises. Hang in there one second. On the desktop, there's a pen game. They give birth to them. Thank you very much.

And they give birth through their pseudo penises. Chris might pull it up. I wouldn't mind fucking getting it on the fucking screen. You got a show, Bobby, so he can his mind will be bringing it up. She's bringing it up. Look, Mike usually does the computer stuff and this mouth is a little, this whole thing is a little hard to do.

Where is Moushtana? He's in San Antonio. Oh, Moushtana, where can I work out? San Antonio. Now just go to the internet, don't do that. Just go and bring up Sudo, what is it called? Sudo penis. Sudo penis.

So, Haina, Sudo penis. Haina, do you know how to spell hyena? Sudo penis. Yeah, H-Y-E-N-A-S. She spelled pseudo right, but fucked up about penis. It'll come up. See what her issues are. All right, I want to, can we show this?

Yeah, right? Yeah, of course. Wow. It's a nature image. Go to image. And they give birth through this thing. So you could see that too. They blow their fucking dicks off to give birth. That's a woman. That's a it's a nature image. Go to image and they give birth through this thing so you could see that though They blow their fucking dick off to get that's a woman. That's a female. They have a pseudo piece Yeah, I mean look at it. They're eating an elephant. Do you understand what a psychopath animal you have to beat a fucking

They've got his head and an elephant brains. You're looking at a female hyena right? That's a female Okay, that's a female hyena with it looks like a sausage a nice sausage link Yeah, that's how it is. Yeah,, looks like a sausage, a nice sausage link. Yeah, I'm sorry. And that looks like what I imagine Mateo has. Yeah, that's what you call the hyena pseudopenus. And now, so the girl and the guy has one? The girl. The guy has got a penis.

The girl's got a pseudopenus. Now, where does he put his penis? He puts it in her vagina, in the pseudopenus. The vagina hangs down like that, and then the baby comes out of that thing. It's basically what scientists say. It's just a really humongous clip. Yeah, that's what it is. But it looks like a woman body builder.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, okay. Yeah, just that the Haine is just our fucking wild. Yeah, they're just fucking wild. So they're weapons so much behind history. I know, like, I thought it was just you more. They laugh. I like Haine is. I like a food. No, no, they laugh. They, I thought it was just you more rhymes. They laugh. I like hyenas.

I like them too. No, no. There's all they laugh. They have the hyena cacles. What rhymes with, what rhymes with history? Hyenas? Yeah. Not really.

Well, they both got H's. Yeah, exactly. We are. I don't know. Our theme song is a freestyle beat with cacles of hyenas. Well, here's the thing is that you guys, when we're like, okay, what we need to music, we're like, I give us so much time with them, and then you gave us time.

I'm like, are these guys fucking with us? Because we had a kind of, the guy, they were great, great this fucking thing. And then when I got the music back from Rob, and he's like, this is, I listen to it, I went, we're in trouble. I go, where are fucked? I go, I seriously, I listen to it, I went, we're in trouble. I go, where are fucked? I go, I seriously, I went with fucked.

And I was like, all right, and I sent it over to Serp, and we got the, they love it. I go, are these guys fucking? Can we play this song? We had a real vision, and it was fulfilled. It's, you're guys made the perfect fucking song. Yeah, and the perfect fucking logo. I mean, he could not be more You have to understand that I

Literally, is there the I literally thought you guys are gonna I thought you were crazy How do you fucking minds and then when that song came I was like, oh, they're gonna just leave Soon as I heard it, I was like, I couldn't believe how perfect it was. There we go. Listen to it. Yo, what up, Kazzy Wazies? You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys History Hyenas

on the Riotcast Network, Riotcast.com. And these are actual Hyena Kackels. That's a beat. Yo, what's up about there? You listen to me. I fucking I This is the history. I when I got that song back I went with Fuck I know these guys are going to

I don't know how to read I don't know Where to go. How do you go back? How do you find the way home from here? Like how do we go? No, that's not it. And then I go I don't know we don't know what it is. Have you heard that song kicking?

You know you're in for a fucking wild. Well, yeah, it's gonna be wild. That song is so addictive. Yeah. Cause after you said we love it. I mean, literally they love it. I fell off my, I was crying laughing when I heard it. And then, and then somebody, I was scared.

I was like, whiff-fucked. And the one of us... It was exactly what we wanted. Perfect. Because I think somebody said... I want to do it, but after you say we love it, I let's do it again and again. I always said I just found myself going like this.

Well, circle, circle, circle, put us on, circle, put us on a group text. And he was like, what do you guys want the theme music to be? What are the things you guys love? And I wrote freestyle music and you know how to throw it? Hyenas. I said, I said, I said, put some cackels over. And then I just combined it. What do you guys want the theme music to be? What are the things you guys love? And I wrote freestyle music and you know how to throw it high heinous. I said, I said, put some cackels over it. And then they just combined it.

Yeah. The, uh, uh, Richie, uh, from, um, what's, uh, bring up broadcast again. Um, from, um, what's, uh, uh, what's the band he's in? Blue ice to golf. Blue ice. Um, I just want to plug his podcast real quick. Where is it? A band geek.

Bring up band geek. He is, it's right there. Click on the thing, yeah, band geek, you got it. Nope. Am I blind? Where is it? Oh, there it is. Above the hole.

Sebastian Mascals. Peace podcast is a ride cast podcast. It was on us for a while. Then they're actually on serious now. Oh, okay. But they were for a little bit. Him and Pete were over here for a while, then they're actually on serious now. Oh, okay. But they were for a little bit. Him and Pete were over here for a while. Yeah, Bang Geek.

This guy is the best. He is so fucking talented. Yeah. If you like music and you really want to hear an amazing podcast, they just have a blast. All these people screw down a little bit right there. Yeah, this, I mean, they have so many shows up there right now, Richie Castileto.com. If you want to check them out, he is so fucking talented. And he does, he did that for you guys.

I was so excited because Rob was like, let me talk to Richie. You know, and he, you know, he's the motherfucker, you know, and he brought that back. I was like, oh, we're in trouble. Like, oh fuck, and you guys are like, that's it Richie if you're listening, you fucking crushed it. We want to say thank you for your service. So great people people have been actually There's another guy's name is Rafael Deluca He's a fan of the podcast and he actually made a song for us too like people have been sending us Songs and like renditions like he made a cuties with smoothie song and we're gonna use it as our

I'll play for you right now put it on the mic. Okay. Yeah, put it on here. Okay, you can play it on there. How do you get it? Because we listen to it yesterday. No, it's on my Facebook page He's getting the real versions of my Facebook. Oh, it's on my YouTube too. It's on my YouTube page Well, yeah, well, because he goes in and out of liberal cocky on us. Yes, this is liberal. This is this. Is this the song? This is it. I don't know. What are you? What are you? I don't know. T.P. change, move, move, get. I would say that's what we did. Number one first.

Number one for Ray White mails. I think that's one in a quarter. I wanted to call. What are we first? Fuckin' with the first. We're wild. That's one in a tenth. One in a tenth.

I'll give you a hint. What? It's a one in a tenth. I'm going to give you a hint. What? I'm going to give you a hint. I'm going to give you a hint. I'm going to give you a hint. I'm going to give you a hint. I'm going to give you a hint. I'm I got one in a corner. What are we first? Uh, fucking, we're the first, we're wild.

That's one in a tenth. One in a tenth, we're, I'll give you a hand. One, it starts to see. Oh, I know what it is. And we're CWS-ed. CWS-ed. It's not a- Yay!

That's it. That's it. Dude, I love it. I love it. I was on for another minute, but that's it. He made that from clips from the. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I wild. You're a little fucking should have it on one spot I mean if you have it on the one spot where do people go if they will if how it's turned where do you go to listen to them? How it's turned one spot. Yeah All things Yeah, well now we're at riot cast so if you want to listen to history, Hyenas find us on riot cast.com

That's young that that's that's song that's wrong. That's wrong Let me see your song sure Shung shung shung All right, not too much I went for it though. You did go for it. Yeah, you look down at the ground when you did Yeah, no eye contact the song chushong chong chong chong. Are they looking? How hilarious is the silence after a failed joke? It's so silent. It's more silent than silent. But it's almost a beautiful thing for other comics.

The worst silence is after a failed audition. Oh yeah. The lady goes, okay, let's slate. Yeah, you want to go for what? Yeah, five eight. I remember one time I was on on, I was doing Jim and Sam or OP and Jim show and I know Sway. I know Sway, Callaway and it's like,

it's got a hip-hop show. It's always all black people and I went in there and Sway and I were friends and he saw me outside the glass and goes, come in. So I came in, I'm not lying to you dude. There was like 30 black guys in there. They were like doing, it was like some rap thing and I just went in and like,

writers went on the mic to sway, sway was like, what's up Chris? I was like, what's up, player? And it was fucking dead, and people, even sway was like, what? Oh no. And I was like, and then, and then he was like, and then somebody like on the other mic was like,

what does that mean? Like the lady Heather was like, what do you mean, Play, she's like, is that how you talk? And I was like, no. I don't talk like that. Sorry. I thought I had more. What happened? I fucking tried to one more joke at bomb than I left.

Yeah. That is such a horrible story. I know. Why would you bring that to it? I don't know. I don't see a bomb. I feel bad for Janice's joke bombing. So I put myself, don't know. I don't feel good. I felt bad for Yannis' joke, Bob, and so I put myself in. Don't worry, I'm used to it.

What are you doing, you snuff? You're a cuck-dip. I'm a cuck-dip. Is that what that's called? Yeah, I hate it, it's a fucking upper lip. I can't stand your cuck-dip either. Cuck-dip. Listen, here's the deal.

His breath always stinks after. Ah, you fucking... You're dumb. It's fucking gross. It's disgusting. Yeah. Where are you gonna spit that? I don't have to spit that's why it's cuck-dip.

What is it? It's Swedish as born in Sweden and you just put it in here. I smell another bottle. Hello, this is Sven and welcome to Cuck-Dip with Sven. I have the Cuck-Dip here. So, we're sitting here with Robert Kelly. Hi, how you doing? He's a he's a sweet

New character What about that March you did the other day for the guns? Oh, oh that was yeah, there's too much gun violence here America you need to see how we did in Sweden. You need to do it like we did it There's no guns. There's just free love and everyone's a lesbian. Even if you're a boy, you're a lesbian. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Um, um, all right, what the fuck are we on? I wonder if it finishes this train of thought. That fucking I can't remember it now. Yeah, where were we? You guys are so fucking off the wall. Oh, history, you know, damn history, hide in his.

Yeah. So anyways, what I say, name, I wanna know something else. I love history. Mm hmm. Um. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha. Hey. I want you to get a calendar. Why? A paper one. I want you to hang it on the wall. I want you to mark down today. You're daisy number. She's my favorite. Why is my favorite of all of them?

Yes. I've even mushy Mike. Of all your, all the girls. Girls in the park. Kelly, Lauren, this one. I like them too. You're all my favorites. You're a fucking cuck.

I'm a fucking cuck. Yes, fucking say. Bap, bap, bap. What are you laughing at when I say I like history? I just, I was so serious. What? I don't know. I know, I know what you mean. You don't think I like history. Dude, you don't think I like history? You're attacking me today so serious. What? I don't know. I don't know what you mean.

You don't think I like history? Dude, you don't think I like history? You're attacking me today so much. Oh my god, it's attacking me. That's not from Boston that's talking. Yeah, we're talking. You're usually so kind to me though. I am kind to you.

Yeah, you're taking out your mushy anger on me. Huh? No, I'm not. I say I like history and my co-host goes What the fuck am I supposed to say? What am I supposed to say and she literally I say I love history. I mean just say stupid How's that just say do you dumb dumb? You know it really? You know what it is? Am I wrong? You're not wrong. You're not fucking right. See am I wrong?

You're not fucking wrong, Kelly fucking cock with any vagina're not wrong. You're not fucking right. See am I wrong? Kelly fucking cuckoo any vagina in the room. He wants to fucking give a speech I just Fuck it my way Chris it's what he is. Talk to me am I wrong? You're not wrong. Right? I know I think yeah I I can see because I think what I think's happening is normally Let me break this down. We're here to talk. It sounds like the trash of Boston in New York made an alliance. Yeah, like, and set their differences apart. It sounds like we're having a conversation under a homie.

Am I wrong? You're not fucking wrong, Bob. Am I fucking wrong? You're not fucking wrong. You're not fucking wrong. Fucking clock, Zach, he's fucking cock, second. We're a construction site. Yeah.

And then you start using the word attack. What a fucking, that's like the good, high tech. And you've never been attacked. Well, because she's also never grown up in foster homes. Yeah, because I, I'm sure. So she's used to it, a lighter decor. Nice Jewish, Jewish, Jewish, right? Yeah.

Nice Jewish upbringing, yeah. So, I think, but I think because a lot of times Mush gets some of this, because they're both here. So now she's getting the brunt of it. But sometimes Mush gets yelled at, and then you're not as mad as at her. But because Mush is not here, you get, because you can't yell.

She usually sits over there. Yeah, yeah, and that's Mush's there. Yeah, so that's the anger she's got a good laugh though. That was a genuinely laugh. She's got a good laugh. She's a genuine part, everything you need to know about a person is in their laugh. How they, that's how I know you're a good person.

You're a genuine laugh. He barely laughs. It's because he's a fucking psychopath. You guys like each other. I like y'all. Yeah, I like Chris a lot. I really like Chris. My daughter calls him Aunt Yana.

But listen, I know where she's coming from. We do this, Fag. Because she sees the real you, it's fucking more recent. She knows, she knows like the rest of us. But you made this video once, you made this fucking video where you were trying to be serious. Yeah. And I swear to God, it's one of the, I'm putting it up there

on my top 50 all time funny. When you were, when you were mad and you were taking a stand about Tom Brady kissing his kid on the mouth. Okay, and you were making this video with that fucking Boston accent and you go and listen, fucking guys. All right, if he wants to kiss his fucking kid on the mouth and it was just nuts.

I was violently angry. I know, and it was violent because every fuck face who had a problem with it didn't have a kid. Yeah, right. Every fuck dude, that the fact it really made me violently angry because... And unintentionally hilarious. Because here's a deal, you don't have fucking,

every guy that had a problem with it didn't have kids with some single fuck face. Probably didn't have a good, some macho relationship with their dad, probably never gonna hug the kiss themselves Gonna pass that on and then and then everybody wanted to white guys are fucked up and shut down and have issues with intimacy and and you know and and then I

Mean grant look six seconds the long time to play I mean if we see as I just kiss I'm I, I might be swayed a little bit. I don't want Mac look at I but you're taking a stand in my kid. That's it right in the lips. That's it. You can't do it. Yeah. What are you making a vine?

That's a little long. Yeah. Vime kiss to long. Too long. Yeah. Christaliyah. Yeah. Instagram kiss.

Just right. Yeah. So, but I think Christaliyah's hilarious on his mind. I love it. I love to alone. Yeah. Chris Delia. Yeah, Instagram kiss. Just right. I dad. Yeah. But I think Chris Delia is hilarious on his mind. I love it. I love it. I love it.

He's the one of the funny and social media guys of all time. I love it. I can't take him. Him and Brian Callan. Oh my god. Brian Callan so funny. So funny. When I do the little kisses, they're the best.

I can't even take him. I actually, I fan boyed on Chris Delia one night in Montreal. I think he was a little flipped out by it. Yeah. I was like, dude, you're fine. It's blah blah blah. And I just had to do it. I didn't care.

I go out on the bus. I actually, I fan boyed on Chris Delia one night and Montreal, and I think it was a little flipped out by it. I was like dude, you're vines blah blah blah, and I just had to do it, I didn't care. I go out and I get, I walked away, I was like all right, whatever. I told him I had to stop following him, vines, because I got addicted to it. I get OCD with that shit, I was, where's my vines?

Yeah, and I had to stop. Him and Will Sassos, fantastic. Well, he was great too. Will Sassos with the lemons, and he stopped doing the lemons. Yeah, those guys are fantastic. He didn't do the lemons then he stopped doing the lemons. Yeah, guys are fantastic. He did the lemons. He stopped in the lemons. Well, right around the time he fucked my girlfriend.

Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoa. Yeah. Whoa. I remember that. What a day that was. Who fucked your ex girlfriend?

We'll sassle. We'll sassle. Fuck your ex girlfriend. Yeah, I had to listen to it and fuck a three-hour party. Who's your ex girlfriend? No, do I know her yeah Oh That was years ago. Yeah what the one that got famous

You got to put that near quotes yeah Yeah, yeah the one Chris had a toilet yes, and your girl do you go left to do right? You got both You got both good cheaters on them. You fucking queens. Now you both fucking sissies in a fucking, in a smoothie shop. That's how we became cuties. You were smoothies. That's how we start with the bun.

And then both our exes fucked up and fucked major celebs. Yeah. Both your hot exes fucking cheaters with fucking shittier celebs. Yeah. Just not even good looking. They both, you both way better look at them. But they're more popular. They're more followers.

Oh my God. Yep. Wow, did that hurt you? You've found something. I don't even know if what I'm saying, too. It's a lie. A lie. I know it's true.

Oh. Did you really? Yeah. You do. Well, because there was a grace period there where at the end after, you know, you know, you know, they had broken up. Yeah.

And I was still with the girl who was very good friends with that girl. So I was here all the stuff. And then you know, I was texting Becky here and anything. I'm like, nobody, but what I was hearing was fucking, whoo! I couldn't, he was in, he was in two fragilis stay to know that stuff. I told him two years later. I was a kid, but yeah, it was getting back. If the guy who repliedlined fries the rules as curly on the three stooches was fucking my chick I'd be bummed in. It was pretty brutal. I'm like, I'm lemon's out of his mouth right into a pussy. I can't tell you that.

Fucking hipster and fucking Brooklyn. Let me tell you something about gun control. Oh yeah. And there's some guy with lemons in his mouth. Is he even a pussy? Yeah. Yeah, you're one to where I went wrong Yeah, he would fucking he would put on C-SPAN to try to get a heart on it I'm sure he wasn't the only one though. She probably went wild. There was yeah, there was a couple of guys that I knew about famous No, not more famous in Sassal

Well, one of them was famous here one of them, I think it's famous in another country. Was he a race car, the race car driver you told me about? No, no, that guy was a fucking, I hated that guy. Yeah, I fucking hated that, I hated that guy. That was the worst part. The worst part of my relationship with my ex was that grace period when you weren't around it because we were all hung out.

The four of us and then he got let go and then it was just me and these two. Oh my god, yeah, she had to let him go these two I got cut and I know you were pitching good I got sent down you know some work to Miami You know some work I remember I remember fucking talking you have Ledges in Miami. Oh my god. I remember calling do it. He was in his fucking beamer Yeah, he was literally just some fucking more some morning douchebag, but you're talking Miami You're talking Montreal. Yeah, always stuck with me because you told me the truth

It was an older comic telling me what was going on right and I didn't want to hear it But because you told to me it was it was true and I it's free It's scared me because I knew it was tried didn't want it to be true. What was it? We went to your hotel I'm glad it was a big moment for you We went to your hotel. I'm glad it was a big moment for you. I've given a lot of good bits of talk. Tell me a big bit. Remember I came into your hotel room in Montreal

and we talked and you talked to your weird buddy. You're like with buddy. It's over. We're doing a podcast. So I need you to recreate it. So that people listening would be like, is that gonna go, what do you say? And you're not gonna say it.

That's what I'm doing. I know what I said. I know we tried to talk. Yeah. So I go to your hotel room and we're hanging out in your hotel room Yeah, and I and Montreal I'm stuck in each other's off. I have sucked each other off for a couple minutes. It's a couple smoothies naked, you know I've put a diaper on Bobby. It was yeah, Bobby's asking if he can shed your legs with one of his new knives

He showed me his gadgets were both nude, you know, I'm a drum kit you guys drum kit Yeah, he's showing me his new little gadgets. He're both nude, you know. I'm a drum kit. You guys drum kit. Yeah, he's showing me his new little gadgets. He got, he's doing it naked. Yeah. And, as I imagine, Bobby, just showing me new technology naked, just going over to suitcase to get it, bringing it back. The way you say naked, inferior, it's me.

Keep going naked. Naked. Naked. You say, a furious, fucking inferior. The way I'd say the word, an furious, you an furious. Well, I tried to get it. I got flimstuck in my throat. I keep going. Well, your accent infuriates me.

It feels like I want to give back my college diploma. Every time I hang out with you, I'm like, I don't deserve this. I'm gonna spit it out, you cock it out. So then, yeah, you sat down and you just gave me like a real harsh, like truth talk. You were like, look, it's over. That's done.

You date a comic that fades your life, it's over. You never date a girl with a headshot, it's over. It's done. You're fucking, she's never coming back. It's over. You're gonna be better for it, but it's done. Like you were telling me it's over. When I was still at a time, this was,

before I left for Miami, this was July, we had just broken up. So I still was like, I was still at a time. This was before I left for Miami. This was July. We had just broken up. So I still was like, I was really hard broken and hoping I was going to get back with her, you know, and you were right. Yeah. And I say, you know, you never did a girl that I sure. You didn't spare my feelings at all. I would say that to a girl.

We needed it though. I would say that to a girl comic too. I would say don't date a guy with a head shot. Because what's going to happen is somebody's going to make it. Sure. Very rarely do both couples make it You know, I mean Why are richi and Bonnie so successful in the reception first of all one second calm richi and Bonnie again I'm gonna throw

I don't make everything cute He's a kid a with a smiddy richi and body on kiddies as many If we had a mom we'd call him richi and Bonnie We calldy richie and body on kiddie's as many. If we had a mom, we'd call him richie and body. We call him richie and body. I said, first of all, the key word in my state was successful. Now, you show me that. You show me, it always happens, even with fucking look man, even with actors and actresses, it always,

you, what's the guy from Guardians of the Galaxy? Chris Pratt. Chris Pratt. No, Pr. No, Pratt Pratt. Pratt Pratt. Pine is Star Trek Pratt. Chris Pratt and what's your name? Anna Ferris. Anna Ferris. I mean, there I couldn't think of a greater couple. They were so funny together. She's hilarious.

He's still a dead a kid. It was so and then it ended. Yeah, I think you banged out your honor for Lawrence. Well, here's a deal, man. He fucking became, he went from a chubby on a sitcom to a fucking mega movie star. Yes, ready. A mega, not just a mega, he's not home. Yeah, yeah. And then he gets, and then I'm sure like when he's on set

with these women that he's playing, that's always a beautiful female lead. The chemistry starts to build, and then next thing you know, he gathers, push, push, bad. Yeah, he gets, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he gathers post-post bad. Yeah, he got to use a Gatherer. Yeah, cute little kids Joe last kid. Yeah Your kid is actually really good

Yeah, good look thank you. Yeah, she get our kids together later I'm gonna fucking kids together later. Yeah, that would make a super kid and that would be good Romance out from the suburbs. He's you know, yeah, Yeah, that would be. That would be good. That would be good. He's from the suburbs. He's, you know, yeah, that's what you want. That's what I need. Yeah, that's what I need. I need a good father, good home. Yeah, he's got to keep away from the mobs.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but I think, you know, when that happened to you and then it happened to you, well, see, here's what happened. It was an interesting time in my life. You both got fucking douche by two girls

that became hugely successful in the same time and they were friends. And now you guys, you guys are still together. Are they still friends? I don't think so. Probably not. It's all toxic with all four of us. But what happened was, he left,

and then I was hearing all that stuff. Like I would hear everything, because I was still with the other girl. So I would hear, and they were best friends, and all three of us were on this tour. So I would hear it all. And then, you know, Yannis would be like, hey, tell me this, tell me that,

but he was in such a fragile state. I couldn't do it. But then, what happened was, is he was going through his stuff, talking to you, and then he came up, my amine was great, and then just about the time when he was really strong and over it, she dumped me. And then he helped everything he learned from me. Right, yeah, so was I great, but for a while there, for me, if it didn't happen to him first,

and he didn't kind of walk me off the ledge, I probably would have committed suicide live on stage because what happened to what happened to me, they had it much worse. I had it really hard. They performed with that. Because then there was the three of us. First of all, we sold out the Wilbert theater.

Like, everything was sold out for us, for those two, for 2014, the beginning, everything. And I remember Wilbert theater sold out, which is like, I don't, we don't, I don't fucking sell tickets like that. And, but this tour was because they were, it was because of the girls. The girls were huge. You too. No, but the girl, well, here's the thing. I was the anchor. Come. I was the actual one who could do stand up. Yeah. Um, but those girls were the ones selling

tickets. You had to go, you had to go up at the end. No, no. Well, what happened was, is this isn't this what was happening is, you know, my ex was really mad at stuff. she would go, now keep in mind. Mad at you. Mad at me. Why? Because of the way the relationship ended because she was, I thought she dumped you.

Well, yeah, but she thought she told everyone I cheated on her. Did you? No, well, what happened was, look at me. No, it's, look at me. I did not. Look at me. I swear to God, I did not. Just put your hands down.

Look at me. One Catholic to another. Look at me. Yeah, two Catholics Catholic look at no eyebrows No moving no not okay in front of the Virgin Mary. Let me just get one outside on left. Can you just move these? See you didn't did you cheat I did not cheat on her there you go. I did not you say swear to Jesus Swedded Jesus. I swear. I swear. I swear I swear to God I swear to a Catholic. You know, he's not lying. I swear on him. I'm gonna kill. To a Catholic, you know he's not lying.

I swear on him. The amount of guilty would take on a New York Yankees. I swear on everything. It's sat in Ireland. I didn't, I didn't have a cheater. Okay, so she thought that I did. And so she moved forward with that. Yeah.

And what happened was, is there were these clubs and theaters would be sold out with almost all girls. I would say it would be like 90% when young girl. Young girls. This was girl code, 21, 22, 23 years old, even younger baby, and she would go out. And she would go up first, because at the time

she was the weakest of the three of us, not the way she was the newest. So it would usually be weakest. Yeah, so it would usually be her, then either me and the other girl, we were flip-flop. Yeah. But she would go out and basically no really jokes. I mean, kind of jokes, but she would just say what an asshole I was.

And all these people in the crowd knew who I was. Oh, I'm single now because my ex cheated on me and just bash me. Then talk about the new guys she's hooking up with, which would fucking, I would, I mean, I was like hysterical crying in, in, in fucking bathrooms. Brutal. Brutal. On the phone with him and he would go like, would, I was, I mean, I was like, hysterical crying and fucking bathrooms. I'm just brutal. Brutal, all in the phone with him and he would go like, dude, you gotta, who's your manager? We have the same manager.

Yeah. So, Conan Smith, who's a great guy? Who's great, and he sounds like a great guy. No, no, no, no, no, no. Hey, go on this tour. Make that money, you little pussy. Well, no, you take that fucking hit, you'll never get this opportunity again.

To Conan's credit, Conan, he said, he said was he was like he was like if you don't want to do this, don't do this. You can walk off and he's had to talk with the both of us and said look, he said to the girl, he said you can you know you have freedom of speech. You talk about whatever you want to talk about, but just as a courtesy, don't talk about him on the same show. If you can because it really is fucked up and she was like yeah, and then would do it anyway And I would come up to I'm not lying dude Wilbert theater. What is it's a thousand people maybe or nine hundred fifteen hundred thousand sold out I came out to boost boost literally boo like that fucking coming up and then somebody's like you fucking cheater

So what I had to do is then I had to dig really deep as a comic and that's when I started to, because I always was like, I never valued myself as a comic because I'd be at that time, because I think, oh, yeah, I'm selling tickets or I'm part of a thing that's selling tickets, but I haven't done, I'm not a real standup because it's like it's bullshit MTV, man. Well, you have real comic self-esteem.

Yeah, where you're not gonna fake comic self ego and confidence. As a comic, I believe you should have a shitty self-esteem. And you should be real with yourself and be like, and that shows that you're a real fucking comic. So what I started to do then, is I started to, when that happened, I was like, now I have to dig deep and really,

if I'm not gonna get out of this being cute because my cute factor is gone because they hate me. So I had to just get them back little by little with jokes and crowd work and then by the, I remember, I'll never forget like, because there was like 10 minutes into the set because both girls were like kind of against me at the time, about 10 minutes into the set,

after I had just come up with booze, I started to get like really big laughs. And then I started, and then I started to do that thing where it's like, I had good jokes, but the ones that were kind of like worked out that would make me feel honest as a comic, I didn't do them, I did the bullshit. Like where I was like, just even if it was just a little hacky,

just to get like booming, and then I fucking buried the next girl. She bombed you a zero. You were trying to survive. I was trying to survive, but then I started to turn to anger about 10 minutes into the set. And then I just started going, I blew the light. I did like 30 minutes and crowd work. And I took everything away from the next girl.

I took it all away and she had nothing. She came out and tried to be cute. And people were talking through her set. People started to leave. there was a fight that happened in the upper deck. So I was like, so I kind of started to, then I started to like look for the girl who would go before me, I started to look for it.

She's gonna bury me and now I have jokes to get myself out. And then after that happened, I came out of the other side, then I just did Letterman half hour. Then I felt like a comedy seller, then I feel like, oh, now I'm a stand up comic, and those girls are just, they still do whatever they do, I don't know, but I know they don't do, I know they don't do really stand up anymore,

and that's their choice, but it kinda made me better. But in the beginning, it was fucking, I mean, I would, they call Comedy Central, call me and told me I got the half hour special, which at the time was like the biggest deal in my career, and I was hysterical crying on the phone with executives. And they were like, my manager, coming with me.

We were on the phone when we both found out we got because we got it the same year. Yes. And we were just commiserating in misery. And then we both found out that. But you were past it a little bit already. You were, because you were helping it. I've never, I've never, I've never,

was hysterical crying in a snow storm and time square. And my manager was like, do I need to come get you? Yeah. Because like, I now comedy such as like, is he okay? Yeah. And then I called y'all and I say fuck is it? What the fuck is that? Because well, the reason why that happened is

cause we had done a shoot that day with MTV. I gotta, I remember when the, so my hours person of comedy said, you know, I went, that's great dude. I gotta go, call me later. Let me know what's up. You fucking, you fucking, you fucking ears are getting hot. Anyone have cheesecaps? I gotta go call me later. Let me know what's up. You fucking. Yeah. You fucking.

You fucking years are getting hot. Anyone have cheesecaps? I swear to God. Where are you fucking crying? He was crying on the phone with me. I remember he was crying. But, but, but, but, but I remember the reason. It was weird too, because I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa,

I didn't know what to do with it. Well, he was fucking, he was balled. He cried in public. Is it? This guy, this guy who's a woman, almost a quarter of the time in his life. And you know what, dude? How funny is that? Like just like a preamp because like that was like in the very beginning of our friendship.

Now four years later, I've probably cried in front of you at least 30 times. It's true. It's seen me cry. I cried to him all the time. Did I cry last night? Yeah, it just happened. I cried last night during the movie's sing. Oh, I know. I'm still standing. Even after all this time. I cried last night during the movie sing Even after all this time The father Swinging in the house and like a true survivor I'm trying to do the little rock

I'm a kid turn around and he's fucking love it. Yeah fucking cry right now That part I'm still staying up I'm still staying up I'm still standing like a true survivor Feeling like a little kid I'm still standing Fucking true survivor Feeling like a little kid You guys are teething

I'm still standing Fucking gay Yeah, yeah, yeah I'm still standing Yeah, yeah, yeah You guys see? I would make you dig your own holes and shoot you into them Wait, wait, wait until fucking them

Mr. Pano says his own kid Can't wait He's done Oh my god, the first time that a little kid takes a little step Until fucking that Mr. Pano says his own kid. Can't wait. This little motherfucker. He's done. Oh my God, the first time that a little kid takes a little step, you're gonna be fucking bawling your eyes out. First time he made, first time his kid goes, key, key, key.

On one of his characters. Yeah. Okay. Or does pooping the potty by himself. I'm gonna do it as a kid that hates Mauricio. Oh, I love it. You just have to stop doing it. Yeah.

Kids gonna have to go to school knowing his friends have seen that and be like, that your dad? That's what it's gonna have to do some Davies little girl. Honey, don't use Daddy's wigs. Don't sound poise. All right? A lot of people lead off those wings. Where's my fish nets?

What the fuck, honey? I told you she can... I think Shard is for me. She can play dress up not what daddy's chank left us Good daddy's tights and skirt and it wig down You put that smelly wig down. Yes. Oh, yeah the first time like that your kid sees that, it's gonna be a scary one. I want to record that conversation. I don't want to get too far into it

because I'm really fucking curious. What was the green room like? Like, did you guys even hang out in the same green room the three of you? Yes. And that? Yeah. Well, no, what we would do,

attention must have been fucking wild. Well, the reason why I was crying that night, when I called you is because we had done, the three of us had had to do some MTV shoot. And again, girls when they get mad and they start to gang up on me, night when I called you is because we had done the three of us had had to do some MTV shoot. And again, girls when they get mad and they, they, they start to gang up on me, you know, not a great, like it was all passive aggressive, but they started talking really loud about three hours before that we were on the set about how my ex was going to hang out that night.

It was a massive snowstorm, but about how the guy who she was going to hook up with who was a basketball player for the New York Knicks, who I knew, not that I knew personally, but like. Your girls did not fuck around. No. I mean, your girls didn't bang in a plumber. No. I mean, you guys, you know, you gotta get them credit. They went up.

They went way up. They went to the top. Yeah. To the top. They went to the fucking top. Yeah, no, like thinking back, it's like, it's, I respect that. I really don't, I respect that.

And you have to respect it. And your girl, his girl, went to the top that you have to respect your girl his girl went to the top I mean talk over when a little up a little up a little up yeah I mean your girl said yeah I'm not doing that I'm going to find I'm going up here and I remember I'll never forget he the player he was like he had he had an all-star season that season I'll never forget I was living because I I got you. I'll never forget. I was living because I got, you know, I left the apartment that I was living with in my ex, even though it was

my apartment. I moved my stuff out and I was such a bitch. And I left and I was living with my two friends. I was sleeping on their couch. And I'll never forget. I told them about the basketball player and they were like, oh my God, so bad. And then that went on for like a couple of weeks, like she was dating him or whatever. And it was brutal, brutal, brutal. And then I come home one day, and I go to turn on my PlayStation, they're, you know, our PlayStation, and they weren't home,

and they had their fantasy draft like uploaded on. Oh, no, no. And I saw that they drafted that player. And I was like, why would you do that? Why would you do that? Why wouldn't you? And they were like, why would you not?

I think it's a smart move. Guys having a good season. Well, that's what they said. On and off. Yeah. Yeah. They said on and off the court. and they were like, and they were like, why would you not get to smart move? Guys having a good season. That's what they said. On and off. Yeah. Yeah. On and off the court.

And I'm telling you, I'm telling you, this is not a lie. I'm you're gonna think I'm saying this to try to- Lucky blow job. It's true. No, to try to make it like funny, I swear to God, this is true. He was having such a good season,

and then they drafted him on their fantasy team because they wanted to win. And the last night of the fantasy league, I meant to say, the last night of the league, they at one of my friends, my friend Dan, that piece of shit, Dan Popov, even though I love him, but I'll say his name, because we're best friends still. He asked me to not,

because I was still going back and forth with my ex about like, I love you, he goes, hey, just for tonight, can you put your phone on airplane mode and not get anything in her head? Because I don't want anything. I don't want her energy on him. I need him to have a good game tonight. And I need him to really score. And he was like, I know what you're seeing. I'm sweating up. And he was like, you can be man and me.

You could put it, but if he does well and we win this thing, we got $2,500, you know, we could split a couple of ways. We'll have a good time. But like, can you- Hit it when? Yeah, they won. They want they want it. Yeah, oh my god But that that really happened. So that's why I was crying that night. Yeah in the green room We gotta fucking in this we gotta go you gotta go do this show. Oh, it's called you settled down I got you relax. I'm sorry. I get you to read what my cinnamon I got you. Relax. I'm sorry. I get I get you to read what my sentiment. There's so much sentiment in that coffee. We have a show tonight. What times I showed? Hey, 30. Gabby is opening. I mean, this is your first time. I

hear what I like about Gabby. You ready? I asked her a long time ago. Hey, you want to do one of these shows? She goes, no, I'm not ready yet. Smart. I mean, smart, but I mean, most most comments college weight, yeah, yeah, because they think they have to or they blah, blah, blah. She was, I'm not, I don't think I'm ready yet. I, I asked you again, I think, a point, you know, Yeah, couple of times. No, no, no.

So then I get a text message from the last week, she went to the show last, I think last, wherever it was. And she's like, I'm ready to do it. Because you saw how hard I bombed. No, no, no, I fucking ate my dick. So she was like, I could do it. I. Because you saw how hard I bombed. I'm what I fucking ate my dick. So she was like, I could do it. It's a tough room. It's a tough room.

That room's tough. That's why I get to some people. Yeah. It's never been tough for me. But literally, I have to anybody, I'll fucking murder. I'm a fucking killer. Goddamn. Unless it's Collins, sometimes Collins crowds are too

fucking hard. I'm gonna give you that. But after you, I fucking murdered you. Yeah, I really ate a hot one and then Bobby killed. Literally new jokes. Yeah, I think I even said something into it. It's here, I was like, it says rough crowd and then you just went up and you ripped.

That's the worst thing. I literally were like this. I went, I go Chris, I 10, five minutes in a minute, go Chris, it was you. Yeah, it was not there. I was there. And then I remember like I went to the bathroom and all the people who just watched me,

Bamos like waiting online and they're like, oh good show. Dude, there is nothing worse. College crowds do stuff. There's nothing worse and nothing more hysterical as a comedian when you go off and you say like, fucking crowd shit. And you bomb and then you watch the next person fucking annihilate

and you just feel like, oh shit, it was me. Yeah, I knew it was me. I remember I was sitting up there. I was a new chunk too. I was just like, fuck it. Yeah. Not even like prove sitting up. I was a new chunk too. I was just like fuck it. Yeah. Not even like proven. I was like, fuck you new. Yeah. There you go. Deal with it. Crushed. Oh, like he's bombing. Let me. Okay. I'm gonna fuck and go up there and just fucking hit it. Well, I went up there and my sleeves rolled up. I went out of

the show off my pants. You look like. Yeah, you look like you're like a sergeant in the Swiss army. Yeah, I look like I'm a sergeant in the hipster army. Yes, I am. I am. Well, she's doing it tonight. You guys, here's this show tonight at the Pussycat. If you listen to live, if you're in New York City or in the surrounding area, 8.30 tonight, Gabby's hosting. Ooh, I'm nervous.

You should. Don't be. Just have fun. You'll have fun. We're all there for you. And know that if your bombing will be died. Yeah. You will hear laughter. No matter what. I tell you what, I we'll be dying. Yeah. You will hear laughter.

No, but I tell you what, I've seen her act and she's got good stuff. Better than Skolpo. Oh fuck. No old fucking lunch lady hips. Talk about hips. We're all gonna die. Five or 38, he's got a friend. We're all gonna die. She just got to have fun. Yeah. Whether it goes good or bad, there we go. go booker you I love it. I love it. I'm reading Thing did not give a fuck yeah, fuck you. No, it's true. You got to know you got enjoy yourself Yeah, you got to go up try to kill and if you don't get better Okay, I mean, but I mean like don't worry about it. Yeah good. Tell Chris that yeah fucking ears get hot My ears are on fire if I don't get a fucking muffin soon,

my ears are gonna ignite into flames. We got a big show tonight. And you guys are on it. The bay rig. Yeah. You're gonna do it too? Yeah, they're both doing it. So I think it's it's you, Danian, and then you, or you know, you, then you, then Janus. Perfect. And then me, I'm gonna close it out. We're gonna great show tonight But I want to let's go through some stuff here. What do we have to plug gaps? I just sent you the names Oh, yeah, oh white wasp got him to you check this. Yeah, is she the white wasp? No

Gabby to have a nickname. Oh, I want to thank me and call her So bad actually chubby and culture Now I think that's the best. I think Gabby is beautiful. Oh God. The so's and she I do too. What? Oh my god She listen she really she also has good energy. I got I love her. I like I would love she's good Yannis good person Yannis is in love with Gabby. No, I'm getting I'm engaged I'm just saying she's married. Yeah, she's a good person. I like her a lot. Yannis is in love with Gabby. No, I'm engaged. I'm just saying she's married. She's a good person.

I like her. I like her a lot. Thanks. Appreciate it. I have her on my show. I like her a lot too. Well, not from what we heard before. You threw a water bottle at her.

I threw it that way. I hope you're gonna keep saying that. But emotionally, I went to my... That's a lot of progress. That's a lot of progress. That's all acting. That's part of my thing. Yeah.

Yeah, it's part of my thing. It's true. It wants to be he progress. That's all acting. Yeah, that's part of my thing. Yeah. Yeah, it's part of my thing It's true. It's to be header. It's my thing No, I'm very excited that Gabby's doing the center. I don't ever bring a swarm in your Gabby She knows better though. That was amazing. Yeah, you're not supposed to bring food. It was a classic moment That was a great was almost worth it. I'm gonna storm down He chased me out there into the hallway, like a fucking school principal. That's when I realized you're tall. So I was yelling at you, looking out, but I was like, yeah, I don't like him. Here's the deal. Ready? First of all, I want to thank

Chris, uh, uh, Dorety, Patrick Chilla and Heather, Heather Graves, I believe, uh, all members of my Patreon. But you guys, you guys are ultimate dudes. You're at the top echelon. You guys are amazing. I wanna give you a shout out. I wanna thank all you guys who are on a member of my channel. The channel's going great.

Geez, we gotta come on people. It's going great. We got a bunch of stuff coming for it. We shot two new episode just today, live from the shed with Matt Sarah, UFC champion. He is so fucking funny on the show. He is so interesting and so made one of my favorite people in the world. And then of course, the great Ron Bennington, funny guy walking the earth. I could I could sit and talk to that guy for days.

He did. I mean, two great shows out of the shed for Patreon members only. This weekend I'm gonna be adding one one on once. They'll be up next week for you guys. I got a lot of stuff going on on my channel. This thing is, I'm hoping to create me and Gabby gonna shoot some stuff too. I have these scenes that I wrote.

I'm just gonna shoot them. Good. I'm gonna shoot them, put them up for my page. You know, look, I'm just gonna shoot him good. I'm gonna shoot him put them up from my page I you know look I'm still gonna give a fan fans stuff this podcast will always be free Sundays blah blah and I'll put stuff out for a regular people this but this is for my fans This is a people really fucking love me whether it's a hundred people or fucking 7,000 people That's we go patreon.com such Robert Kelly join up. We're going to be doing a lot of stuff. And again, here's another channel where you guys, the Bayridge Boyz Patreon channel.

Beautiful. You guys, this is what I love that we have. We're not asking for permission anymore. We're going to our fans. Yeah. And we're saying, hey, be part of our channel. Yep. Okay.

And we're going to create stuff without asking. Yeah. We're not going to go. Hey, here's an outline Here's a treatment. Here's a scissors. What do you think in five six months later? Yeah, we're not interested Yeah, well, you know, we're not this that's fine I would love to work fucking accountants a month ago Yeah, look look whatever look at these people they're fine But it's like whatever the reason is they have a reason and I it's like okay. I will do that too I will create stuff and try to pitch it and sell it

But I want to have stuff right now and and and people joining our channels like you guys allows you to create for your fans right and another thing enough to worry about people in there who don't fucking really like you Go and fuck you a fuck it's it's just a great environment to do stuff. And you guys, you guys are killing it. I really, you guys are killing it. Thanks for having us on the network, man. We're having such a blast with the podcast. It's a great podcast.

And the fact that you guys go out and do these, I mean, it's amazing. Where are you going next with it? Will you be picking your nose? I know, I had dry skin under my nose. I had dry skin under my nose. He had dry skin under my nose. An absolute hyena himself. A guy kid has no idea where we're going next.

Where are you going next to like learning something? History tour. Oh, the history. I got to go to Cleveland this week. Should I, where do you want to go? Oh, well, we go on these walking tours. A lot of history in Cleveland. Yeah.

President Lincoln went there on his last tour and by horse and fucking carriage, they have the first mall of America. The first indoor mall in America, is the hotel you're doing, clarity, yeah. That hotel, the indoor hotel, first, yeah.

That's the first mall, indoor mall in America. Wow. Was that mall? It's definitely haunted. If you go down the back stairway, the actual marble on the stair is is worn out From a hundred and something years of people walking down the stairs. That's why that's why they are they are cave they call it right? Yes, that hotel itself is

mega history. Yeah mega history. Yeah, and Did you know they shot Avengers there really all the street scenes in Avengers Cleveland holy shit. Yeah, I actually Jesus. What are you doing? We're ending the show We're trying to and you got a fuck around. I mean you can't sit still can you? Yeah, just you broke it. I didn't break it. Well, just just settle down hold just let it go She broke it. I didn't break it. Well, just just settle down. Hold just let it go. I just like. Oh, wait, you guys should go where I'm from in New Jersey. The first ever socialist, like, commune was in my town. Really? There's like a tour and the battle of mometh, civil war sounds. Which sounds like sounds like new Jersey. Oh, yeah,

a county bunch of good fucking hot chicks in weird clothes. Yeah, well shirt is amazing. The shirt is nice shirt. Thanks. Nice shirt. I'm flirting with her. I want you to say right now. Do you like that shirt? If that was your wife and she came out in that shirt on date night, what are you gonna tell her? It matches her. Look at me Chris. Shut up. Chris. Look at me. Chris. Look at me. Chris. Look at me. Chris. Look at me. Chris. Chris. Look at me, Chris. Shut up. Chris, look at me. Chris, look at me. Chris, look at me. Chris, look at me. Chris, look at me. Chris, look at me.

Chris, I'm just, I run the net. What do I do? It's my net worth. It's my net worth. It's all the truth. She came out with that shirt. Yeah, as your wife, date night. He doesn't care about you.

Yeah, I would, to be honest, date night, I'd fucking, date night, I'd probably unbutton it, throw it, I'd unbutton it and have tried up sex with her and I throw it on the floor and then put another shirt on Yeah, I'd come on it Thank you Chris, what do you got? I got a this there this Thursday, Saram and all our days in Cleveland. Yes I'm gonna tell you what I'm gonna tell you what I'm gonna tell you what I'm gonna tell you what I'm gonna tell you what Yeah, I won't book me at the club. Why? I don't know. I think it's the lady who books it. What's nothing

to do with it? Tell me, but just tell me. I said, hi, would you? I'll tell you tonight. Yeah, tell me. I love that guy. What do you got? Y'all know? I'll be going to my show. Yeah, he's a kid. He's a cute kid. Well, I'll tell you what, if you went to a gay nightclub and Sweden, that would, that would, that's what you'd see. That's what you'd see out front. Him just, but, but no, but no, you, you do look gay there. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, do you get, Janice? Um, go to my thing. Um, what do you? What? What's wrong? What? I got whistleblower place.

You do have whistleblowers. Hot shot Democrat face. Yeah, you want to fucking write a blog? You up, be at Gotham, uh, May 4th to the fifth. As who? As me. Okay. Just me, uh, rock on the range festival on. Does she have her own website? Um, no. She's got her on Twitter. Marisa Rodriguez. Mr. Just me. Rock on the range festival on. Did she have her own website? No. She's got her on Twitter.

Mauricea Reggaier's Mr. Pratt. What's rock on the range? It's a festival with bands and they have a comedy. That sounds great. Yeah, it's fun. You gonna draw there Columbus? No. You fly it. Well, you say he drove to Columbus once he said. I did a long time ago. Yeah, when he had to. Yeah, it's the Capitol. And then I'll be in... I'll be in every state Capitol.

Syracuse and Uncle Vinnie's in Jersey Point he's gonna pay you in cash uncle Vinnie. I love What don't say that on the he has no he just goes green light green light green light Chrissy Why I don't get paying I get paid I don't we get a pain Jack. I got paid in checks. Yeah. Yeah, who pays in cash That's why I love uncle Vinnie's a good guy. Great guy. Dino's the best sells it out Always always and good guy. Yeah, and good pasta. He and he cooks it himself Fucking great. And the way all the way staff everybody there's a great great. Yeah, they don't fuck with you. They treat you nice. Yep That's what I like shout out the governor is this last weekend. I love Jimmy too. Owns that place. Great, great club.

Yeah, that's the best. And you have to say that, I'll kill you. Exactly. He's great too. What do I get? Half Greek? Yeah, the Jimmy's half Greek. I don't need to.

He's a handsome guy. Ah, yes, oh my God. Jesus Christ. Everybody in the family is good looking. Beautiful eyes, yeah. The whole family. Fuck, he's got eyes like a fucking son. The sons, the sons, they're good looking in different ways. eyes. The whole family. Fuck, he's got eyes like a fucking set of urine musty.

The sons, they good looking in different ways. Yeah. Oh my God. Well, you know, one's kind of like, you know, business, business, the other one's kind of like rock and roll and empire, good looking. They're all hot, he's with body. Yeah, oh my God, the life is gorgeous.

Jay, they're this great looking fan. And they love you two kids. We go. Yeah, they love you guys. Anyways, all right, check it out. Fact black tonight. I'm at, I'm doing a big, not a big one, a weekend, a tour of Michigan,

Shakespeare, Shakespeare's Kalamazoo, the Tiger Room Fort Wayne, and then Planet Ant Theater and Ham, Tremac, right? Ham, Tremac. Ham, Tremac. Ham, Tremac. So make sure you come out. If you're in Michigan, spread the word the word get your friends sell this out.

Syracuse funny bone cobs San Francisco. We're at the tree house. I'm at bananas. I'm at Westbury Theatre June 1st. Makirties in Sarasota. I'm doing the laughing skull in Atlanta. Keep I mean I have fucking I'm coming to you. You're at one year I'm coming everywhere. Look at this. Cobbs Austin comedy shop white wolf. I got laugh Boston. Craft house. I'm gonna create laugh Boston. I'm going on the counter cruise.

I'm very excited about that. The counter cruise then we stop off Tampa and I do the sides, but it sides, Bobby jewel. I'm very excited. A bunch of dates coming up and I just booked Vegas in August. Me Keith Robinson, Vos, Verzy, in last week of August. So get your tickets now. It's been a great show. You guys are

great. I want to thank all the Patreon people. I want to thank all the fans of the YKWD. What else do I have to do? Who else do I have to thank? That's it. What about you? Oh, you could follow me on Instagram. I have some shows coming up next month. Hey guys. Hey guys. In New Jersey, I'm gonna be in Azurey Park at the Saint. And then I have a show. Big gate town, that's very park. Huge gate town.

Huge. Huge. That's it. That's really it. And tonight she's gonna be, we're gonna be talking about that next week, how you do. Yeah, who knows? You're gonna do great. You great you're gonna do fine and Zach what do you got? America

I don't get the LG zero now we're here You behead a guest all right, we're gonna wrap this up you guys are the best fans of the world mushy mic we miss you Where is he he's in I don't know what he is. We lost him. Moshe Mike is in San Antonio. I think he missed the flight. I couldn't get back or some shit happened. We love him. Moshe Mike. And I want to talk next week about me, Ari and Joe Lisk going up to the woods, primitive camp camping, the Bushcraft Party Boys. We're gonna be doing it. So you guys who know about camping and up in the Catskills, please email me at ykwdatryacast.com.

And let me know what's going on. If you wanna come up, I'll give us some tips and pointers so we don't die. Okay, you guys are the best fans. You know what, see you next week. Con volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea.

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