Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - D is for Dude

Episode Date: June 9, 2014

Robert is joined by Sean Donnelly, Mike Finoia, Dan Soder, Joe List, Luis J Gomez, Kelly Fastuca and Chris Scopo. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un dominaje de Mao, a Madrid.

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Shine! Shine! Shine! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I can see the maturity on either side of the room. One side. And the success. Sean's most successful, the man. Yeah, Lewis, could you switch things to Sean real quick? I want that joke to work.

I really fell off on the corner. Ooh. All right, we're here. What a fucking goddamn show. Bobby, I know you're upset, but I have no mic stand in my chair is broken, so... Look, man. Blame fucking this guy. That bad hat?

Christopher? Yeah. The sick kid that you have sitting there with that guy. This is a make a wish for me. That hat looks like it came out of a vending machine. I was like the one you buy at the grocery store. It's not out to authentic. Oh, the N.Y. is a sticker.

Oh boy. Oh boy. All right, let us know. It's a fucking nightmare. What I'm telling you. of a brand. All right, Lewis. It's a fucking nightmare. What I'm telling you. What a fucking nightmare. Tell his body. What are we talking about?

I don't know what we're talking about. We're being very big. Well, we do have a present for you tonight, Bobby. It's a better and not surprise. Is it the end of this podcast? I want to say the present is before you say we. It might not be from us. Well, it's not from it's not from Jolus

Let's I mean I don't understand you know, I'm fucking I Try I'm trying not to be angry anymore. I'm trying not to fucking get crazy. Mm-hmm Why are you looking at me? You angry me? You know you fucking did make me mad I'll tell you at number one you had your little fucking picnic Yeah, and you never set me an invite. Can you live in Westchester now? What the fuck? It's not Boston. I'm 20 minutes away. I invited you to my party you Westchester shit all over the Pics publicly and you live in Westchester And this is the problem, this is the problem.

I invited nine people and I said tell, tell everyone, tell the people, tell everyone. I am not a fucking tell everybody to you. Do you get it? I look, I went through my checklist. No, it doesn't. It doesn't matter. I am not a tell everybody.

I am a fucking, hey, do I tell people to, no, you, I got to invite to your mailbox from me to my son's birthday party. If you're invited to my sons, my fucking son, my house, my first born to his party, you get an invite with your girl, right? And you don't fuck and you don't invite me to your fucking picnic. It wasn't my picnic. It was a no no no Joe it was your Everybody's picnic it was your little great arms. We're all trivon It's a picnic we had oh here we go the plot thick

You didn't invite Kelly either I texted like that was the Facebook Wait, I'm not fucking done with you Sean don't at least wear the picnics I'm not done with you fucking rats. I'm on to you next you flat face fucking monster What on point and then I'm over you you fucking little No fuck you and your picnic alright alright next time you're invited you fucking you stupid quips

you cock-blocked my son's happy birthday song great one though no wasn't nobody heard it no it was you and then you know what you did what the problem there's the problem is that you fucking ruin my kid's song

it's being videotaped my son's first birthday and you throw it a fucking quip, and then, then if you watch the video, you think the laugh was me telling you to go fuck yourself. That's not true. I talked to Colin, he laughed at me, not a stupid joke. Already done, already fucking stamped in the proof. I got it notarized by the CQ, who's the fucking top dog,

so fuck you. Little, little, little, little, little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little a little He gets on his phone. He starts tweeting. He got off a funny tweet. He starts fucking looking at not even paying attention To the reason everybody's there everybody else comes around and is by me my family my friends this fucking social Demon sits on his little chair and gets on his fucking phone and starts you used to be a demon How many demons are in demon? Yeah, you do it. You good good back out of it when you fucking stupid smartness my quip got a good laugh a second of all not smart Can you say what the weird girls can we say what the quip was the quick makes sense now it was a good one It was a hot one makes it laugh don't laugh I laughed Kelly's gonna pretend she didn't laugh But she fake laugh because at the time she wanted to please me. She really Bobby's gonna be angry

I told other people Much emotion. He told other people Even see a son once you kept him hidden Of course I did I'm not gonna have you try to bite him with that little mouth Also I went in for a third burger nowhere no third burger I have 19 burgers left. Yeah, there was 900 burgers left. They must have been hidden on top of your son There's a sneaking suspicion your son wasn't even there But I'm happy about it because he doesn't laugh at my goddamn face nobody does You know when they made a middle of twice in your career. I didn't get it

Yeah, you were middle and then you fell back down and now you're a middle or again I didn't get it. Yeah, you were middle and then you fell back down and now you're a middleer again. It doesn't even make sense. It wasn't that much so one. And now, I'm onto you, you fuck. You went to Six Flags Fun Comedy Day, huh? Comedian Day without inviting your friend?

Oh, wait a fuck, a second. First off, I've never wanted to throw something at Kelly's face more than I just did right there. When she jumped in with her instigator. Eeeh! I just heard her fucking, she's don't think instigator. I just heard her fucking. Don't finger in her pussy. Think it's someone's in trouble. I don't understand why I'm getting the Fistuka from you and you. Where in the fuck? Where's look at your little pit bull, your Puerto Rican pit Pitbull as far as six likes go because this motherfucker organized I

Invited when I invited everybody I mean including you know you did it You ain't paid it brother. I didn't invite anybody. I got super high I didn't invite anybody I got super high Don't love a script. I use the job to invite everybody on my Facebook page. I am a gluten-rambor Kelly I am a grown man you fucking call me when I invite it. Yes. I'm a grown-ass dude You call me but you would not come you know what you know? Get frustrated. And get frustrated at this fucking nickel chaser. What? Because he's the one who fucked up the mic stands. Have you people at home? I'm holding my own mic like a chute. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

St. Azul. St. Azul is holding his mic and he's drinking 2% milk. That's because I was drinking milk. I had a little. So if you want a mic standing, you can have this one. That's all right. Thank you. I appreciate it, though. You're very sweet and you're very attractive. I don't wait to struggle.

And that's nice to see you okay Bobby I've invited you to multiple things and you never come to the things I invite you listen I'm gonna explain something I'm gonna explain something. I am I'm gonna explain to you your party stinks Joe But here's the deal was better. I'm Patrice had a barbecue to two barbecues a year. More than that, something mainly two, okay? And he did not invite Colin Quinn. Stopped, he invited him one time and Colin said no.

And then never invited him again. He invited a certain amount of people and then never invited him in. And then the people that showed up the first time got the invite from now on. Now, Colin got bullshit because it's like, you know, and Colin got, what the fuck, you don't invite me to your party?

He goes, no, because you're gonna say, no, it doesn't matter. You still invite me, because I'm your friend. Wait, I agree with Petri. I'm still, you still invite me because I'm your friend, and you let me know, you give me the option that, you know what, no matter if I come or not, I'm your friend and you're invited always.

But I did invite you. No you didn't. Not privately. I don't look at you. I don't look at your Facebook. I don't read your shit. I don't go to your page. I sent you an invite and that's why I didn't get the invite.

You did. I did not. I did not. Check your shit. I didn't get it. I don't go and I don't read my inbox in my fucking Facebook. I get emails, phone calls and text message. You know what I think overall when we're ignoring is our guests and I don't read my inbox in my fucking Facebook. I get emails, phone calls, and text messages. You know what I think overall when we're ignoring is our guests and I feel bad about that.

We're getting to them because I have problems with you two too. What the fuck? I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I don't like that you guys are a fastoker in me. That's what I don't like. What's fastoking about? That means you're not inviting me to anything. Oh no, fastooka is. Don't invite and then shit under the whole time the event is happening. What's for Stukey but that means you're not inviting me to any

Don't invite and then shit under the whole time the event is happening. What am I do that? We didn't even bring you up at the picnic nobody cared What Bobby I leave two blocks from Jay I could seize house from my you see him doing stuff without I Wouldn't worry about it Joe has the worst events A twist contest. I know they're terrible What is it? Kelly can you introduce everybody now Sean Dunnelly is doing the We should have used fucking scopos Mike. He's not even got it down

Salking scopo Well, you might down scopo this photo Tell everybody why you sulking. I'm not sulking. I'm just trying to not fuck up today. I need one more that I did. Last week he didn't fucking hit the record button. The back up.

He didn't, he told me he hit it, but he didn't hit it. So Rob had to take video, audio, from three different things and put it together to make this hell. No, I'm sick. I'm sick. Don't tell me anymore. I know, yeah. I can't believe it. I'm being, don't tell me anymore. I know, dear. I can't believe it. I'm beat me for it.

I can't believe that you'd go out and buy him an eight dollar hat after you. Well, he does have a cameo answer. And then this week I go, hey, listen, and then that's not even the problem. Then he doesn't call me. He doesn't call me until I gotta call him. So he doesn't, there's no show.

There's no show. Okay, there's no show. Rob says show okay there's no show rob says I'll try but the show we did last week two and a half hours there's no show he is the producer of it doesn't call me I gonna call him Saturday and I go do are you not gonna fucking tell me there's no show are you gonna not tell me we don't have it and he's like I didn't want to fuck you. You go listen, the breaks I can get them done by Monday, the radiator, that shot, I can't get that to eat the Wednesday. I go I didn't want to deal, I didn't want you to fucking,

you know, yell at me. I go, am I gonna take away your birthday? I mean, what? Am I, am I killing somebody? You fucked up. I fucked up too. Other parents have taken away birthdays. I thought that was just my mom that did that And then they make it about you just yet Dan, okay, I'd like to do you can't take away somebody's birthday Like you mean their party. Yeah, that's the point. Yeah, what do you know? What did you do the day? Yeah the actual day? You're 27 26 25

Going oh, I'm gonna get some The heat is growing. You are now actually a suitable for guy go Go Okay, are we running bits on the pod now? So so and then oh yeah, go ahead. I just thought Go ahead horseback thoughts and your birthday. I'm gonna wrap them all into one I see Lewis that night at the stand. Yeah, it does is just like sulking. He looks bummed I go, what's up man man? And he goes, ah, it's just fucking long day. He was at your barbecue.

That was his day. He went to your cook up. Yeah, he went to the barbecue, but he had a kid. He was a white kid. I had his kid the whole time. I'm not gonna lie. It was a lot, you know, the lifting up that Joe and I were doing of James the whole time.

It's the thing is that I really didn't see him holding his kid one time by the way. What, I had him the whole time, what really didn't see him holding his kid one time, by the way. What, I had him the whole time, what he couldn't do? Not you, him. Oh. He's singing track. And you never sing again. I'm not positive as mine.

Well, here's, this one, Lewis Bugs May, is that he's so in self-centered, right? Is that I'm literally saying goodbye to guests. I woke up, I cleaned the whole backyard. I worked from 8.30 in the morning till fucking eleven thirty at night on saturday cleaning the backyard set it up preparing dawn cooked every single thing you eight is the list she cooked everything by herself not one

two-spirited was uh... those forty cheeseburgers you had to see that she makes goldfish those little crackers that's unbelievable so she made everything right that's pretty good yeah what is given that I said it was good what do you want to do I just got a to skip Joe really when it comes to jokes he's like an old Jewish but that's what I'm gonna say he's so disconnected that's the point is that it's like this emotional moment for me and my I have a kid it was singing happy birthday to

little Maximus and then this fucking loser of jokes this fucking encyclopedia this fucking all these guys funny he's got no connection to humanity whips out a fucking joke and ruins the video the video is me going shut the fuck up oh it's great i didn't have to i said it just loud enough for the comics to hear what was the quip again i can't remember it also amish humor's birthday she left he came up with a big luxurious cake layered with things and everyone's dancing and they go oh no no no she left bobby

it was good a second time i knew it was coming there's a big one she's very successful it was great it was a great great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it it was great it was great it it was great it it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it it was great it was great it it was great it it was great it it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it it was great it was great it was great it was great it was great it it was coming. That was a big one, she's very successful. It was a great joke. It was a great joke. Max is not that successful. Not yet. But only that was Max's birthday. If it was a great joke. So here's a deal.

I got him a gift. You got him a great gift. Who got him the best gift? None of you. No, out of the room, you know what we meant. You did face, not as grandparents. Mine was great. It wasn't you.

It was. You got a great gift though. I did. I didn't know what it did. You don't give it was good, but you fucking solid it with your dick joke card. Yeah. That was a fucking car. He goes, he goes, this is all, all he goes.

Literally he goes, we're not opening any gifts at all. This is, this is what I'm dealing with right now. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm cooking all morning. I, I, I don't cook. I'm cooking the steak tips. I'm, I'm, I'm just not on the cook. I'm cooking the steak tips. I'm- I'm just- No, I'm just-

I'm cooking every- Play it back. We can play it back if you want. Me and Don cooked everything. Don made everything. I'm cooking. So, I'm- I'm not feeling your head for Don cooking everything. Cut that in half right away.

So, I am cooking the- I'm cooking like the sausage is the steak tips, the hamburgers. I made every hamburger by hand. I didn't buy pre-packaged anything. Chewing up the AC AC DC playlist. I'm fucking I'm fucking going. I so I'm I'm putting all the food on the table so everybody can line up like a buffet. Make the table Joe Joe. He did. This guy Lewis Gomez comes up grabs tries to grab a hamburger as I'm going. Yeah, I'm like Jim Norton had a burger in his mouth already. Yeah, because he saw you you started the trend you like You give Jim Norton burger and that's what I was like oh, but way more credits than you

People with more credits can eat the burgers first. I don't know. It was that's the way it is Lewis might have a credit at this time It was Sunday lost a credit. Okay, anyway, so let's really make sense if you really quickly I would like to introduce my fine guest, Kelly. Please introduce everybody. Sorry, to my right. I've got Sean Donnelly. Hello, how are you?

And then to my left, we have Mike Fenoyah. Two very funny comments. Somebody, how you doing? Welcome to the show. Mike Fenoyah is the stunt double isn't for Bobby, but he's too skinny. They're like, I don't know what we're going to do with him. I felt like that was a little too wordy. It wasn't bad.

The only thing you got at the end was right to Joe. Right. Not even a laugh, he went right. That does make sense, technically. It wasn't a joke, it was a statement. Yeah, all right, good. So let's see what Column thinks. Thank you for coming on the show. Thanks for having me.

Thank you for having me. So here's a deal, is that you, you comes, I'm looking at the middle of San Gabbide, I guess. I mean, he walks up. I mean, I watch the whole thing. I'm in the middle of saying goodbye to your guest. I mean he walks up. I'm in the way. Yeah, watch the whole thing. I'm in the middle of going, hey, man, thank you. Thank you for coming. Thank you so much. And he goes, Bobby, Bobby, I go, I go, what, what, what? I stopped my conversation with Gary Goldman to watch this. Yeah. Yeah. You tell it. You tell it, Dan. Yeah. Gary, Gary, hold on. And Bobby's like, ah, thank you so much.

Someone's leaving. He's like, thanks for coming by, Max. Lewis goes, Bobby, Dan. Gary, Gary, hold on. And Bobby's like, ah, thank you so much. Someone's leaving. He's like, thanks for coming by, Max. Lewis goes, Bobby, Bobby. Hey, you don't have to open the gift. You don't have to open the gift real quick, but you got to read my card. You got to do it. It's funny. Read this card.

Bobby's like, seriously, thanks for coming by. You know, Max really appreciates it. Thanks. Bobby, read the card. You know what, dude, this is my favorite part of watching this whole thing, because I got to enjoy it. Just savor it. Louis was so excited about the card

that I'm the trainer right up. He's like, no, I got Bobby this card. I didn't try to explain it to me, and I was like, I don't know what that means. And he's like, I don't even know if the person who wrote the card knows English, because it says this, and then it's like this,

and it's crazy, because it's like a naked little girl, but it says this, and I'm like, yeah, all right Lewis, meanwhile, the fucking Zing Factory list is just spitting them out at the fact, and I gotta get back over here laughing. So I watched Lewis and Bobby open the card, and Bobby does the thing where he reads it, and I was always, I also was half watching,

because I expect Bobby to be one of those people who mouths the words where he reads it. And I was always, I also was half watching because I expect Bobby to be one of those people who mouths the words as he reads. Oh, that's unnecessary. That was a good thing. And you just need it. You just need it. So Bobby reads the cards. Oh, the dumb.

Bobby, he didn't call me. You just did. Yeah, you just inferred that I met dumb. Bobby reads the card and just kind of does. It's not enough to know that he just called you dumb. And you also doesn't know what inferred. Joe's running DVD commentary of this story. But this is the problem though.

He did it to me twice. I'm outside and I'm saying goodbye to my mother. Okay, who drove? She loves me. She drove three and a half hours up there. Loves me. That day in his driving back, I'm saying, thank you so much.

She's telling me how much you love. Bobby! Bobby! Can you check the change, the change schedules from he wants me to go Not only do I have to not only do I have to fucking buy the food I have to have my wife prepare it. I cook it I set the whole backyard up and I have to make sure is get him his train schedule Bobby is a liar. He's the best. He's the best. He's the best. He's the best. He's the liar. The best part of watching him interrupt you is watching you read the card and not laugh and lose

Explaining it like no cuz it's like a little girl. That's like his act, but it says this Don't you understand? Fucking middle for me too. You're a cunt. Yeah, I know Separate separate issue. So Listen to me I didn't have to check the shit. check the ring it down. I don't like it dumb finger. I didn't actually check the screens Transcatchables. I said Bobby can I go use your computer in your office to check the screen? All right, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay So you interrupted me saying goodbye to my mother who I see once every

49 years or however long you been alive Look at not everybody not everybody is fucking okay with their mother not being around all the time, okay? Too real yeah, well you guys years around me at all times this my pastor says yeah Good job Lewis is like a porter we can see no man. He just doesn't know how to How to You're right That's what he is You're a bully sure I have the weasel thing going on

My right. He really is he we fucking unfroze him from some dirty back yard in Harlem Now he's more like unfrozen caveman lawyer where he knows a couple things where he's like everybody knows the politeness bothers me I know but I know that when anybody from a Greg Jackson Jim gets you in a Camara that you'll definitely tap. Oh God. What a fucking jackass. Just fucking. We organized a hell of a day at six flags. Thank you for inviting me. I'm the invite you. Sorry I couldn't be the YMCA with. Yeah, I would I realize now. This is what I realized through all this. You're really I'm really kind of like Patunia Pig.. I'm realize as well. I'm really not your friend. I'm not your friend You see me I am a conduit

What a conduit can today calendar. Did you buy that with the half the fucking register? I am I am a bridge a vehicle. Thank you. What's your name again? Bobby Kelly, Jr. Stuttman Bobby. I forget your name. Mike Fenoya. Boss Routin. Ah, that's a great one. And what about the guy comes in bang bang bang. You have no problem. Bang bang.

I am a fucking I am just, you know, you guys don't give a fuck about me. That's what you I am. Just you like doing the podcast. I don't know. You like the podcast. You're a favorite boss me. That's what you I am just you like doing the podcast The podcast Yeah, you love you love the podcast you love that if we put a show together I'll be a part of it but other than that you don't want me around I guess that one show we did was not enjoyable We spent all day Sunday coming to celebrate the birth of your firstborn son

No, someone was there to tell jokes, and someone was there to let me know they had got an awesome card. Beck? You had no reason to be like that. To the real matter. I wanna know who got you the best gift out of me, Joe, Dan, and Kelly. Who let the best gift be?

I got the best gift back. I gotta go get the best gift. We're gonna go through the gifts. Every couple got a year of real change of the three. I can't listen. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no little change. Listen, no, I can't give a captain. He's wearing it on his head right now. He's a Bob. I couldn't get you nothing,

but you come by the shop. We'll rotate your tires. We'll check the mileage. I, 20% lifetime discount. Go for Indian gave him a shitty hat. All right, listen. I,

I, I, let's scope, we'll go through everybody. Kelly, what was the gift you gave Max? I brought Max a card and four books for the Four stages of the card. Well, okay. Well, I've had a negative baby on it. So it's fine. My call to clown on mine Okay, I had four books to the four stages of his like reading life So the first one was like an ABC for now

of his like reading life. So the first one was like an ABC for now. I ended up with greats of red. Is when he's like three or four in the third one. And the fourth one was my favorite. It's when he's like eight years old. I bought him Roll Diles, BFG, which is like one of the best children's all forever. But that's the four stages of reading.

You know, which is peak at eight. I should've had no pursuits. Everyone does. You should've had a drone in there. Australia. That's mandatory reading for Australia. And then once you read it, change the Jarrant Peach book. They push you out of the app, eh?

I thought about my gifts a lot. You mess with it, Dingo. And then you come back. You pays the shit. I thought a bit out a lot because Roll Die was a huge part of my life and I wanted to be part of Max's life. And you want Max to turn out like that. Unwankable, unfunny, chubby,

Dan. And the second everybody's deck. Dan, what did you get me, Dan? Wow. Well, I mean, I don't know how I follow that. I got Max a awesome giant claw that he's gonna love in about a year and a half. It's more for his father.

I'm gonna get him a vaporizer. He bought me. When he learns about the counter culture, I will be there to be his, I'll be his little shirt. He bought the, he bought the, he bought the fucking first thing you start the car wash. Oh, and then the mic,

and then I bought him a microphone machine. I bought him a Hot Wheels car because every kid needs Hot Wheels. You could choke on, he's one. I then I bought a monster machine. I bought him hot wheels cars because every kid me taught wheels Okay, you could choke on these one. I mean, that's pretty cool. And then I bought him a shirt from Louisiana. Yeah Yeah, that's what monster I love it. I'll be how old your son. I was one year old one years old That's one year old. I say one years. Can you also say eight month years? I say My year old eight months years and I think it's awesome to think ahead though. Get him something he's gonna like later. He's helped fast the kids they like it for a second right and then toss the

shit. I saw it. How will stay for like, that's a good point. Yeah, I think Dan kind of got the gift where he's like hoping that you opened it at the party so that he could play with it while he was there. The claw, the claw. You would have played with the claw. Oh absolutely. Yeah, I would have been you and Joe Quippings. I actually wrote four minutes in the claw I was bummed we didn't open it Joe Joe gave the kid his CD I never I never said it's just like Bob Dylan's cover look. I wish Joe was still drinking. Oh, this is for kidding Come on, Joe. What I got him

I'm kidding. Come on. Joe, what? I got him a, uh, he came with 30-day chip. I got him some, some, some, uh, that's great. Some dinosaurs and, uh, nice baseball glove. Yeah, that's great. Okay, the dinosaurs. He was dinosaurs.

He was dinosaurs. He was dinosaurs. He was dinosaurs. He was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was tell Joe how good his jokes are or his new premises. He wants nothing to do with them. I like Max, I just find him a little bit. Oh, he's like James. Thank God. Yeah, can I have a, can I, can I, can I,

can you, why pick a quick bone with you? No, not now. We're doing gifts. It's about, it's about Max. No, you called me up yelling at me saying that I called the Macauksucker on Ron and Fess. Yeah. And I didn't. I listened back to the audio and that's fucked up because you made me feel really bad about that

You should just go ahead No, you're not getting anything until you tell we're talking about gifts right now. Sorry. This isn't fucking ham a fisting What gift did you get? As an owner of a one-year-old an owner one year old. An owner. He's a co-operator. Well, I look at at least at least with an option to buy later. But as an owner of a whoa, whoa, stop everything right here.

Yeah, wrap that auction to buy later. Oh, shit. Really working out bits today. He really is. He's trying to get on last comic standing again. Come on guys, did you hear me on the one? Listen to this white guy WD clip. 2015 baby. I'm coming for you. All right, so I got him, first I got him a little treat holder,

which is in the shape of a monster, which don't tell me he loves that. He loves his current treat holder, which is boring and nothing. So the one that I got him now looks like a monster, which he's gonna have fun with. So no, terrifying, that's good. It's terrifying of his treats, he has a thing. but that's actually good because look what the way Bobby turned

I mean it was predictable, but it was good because it was fast And then I guess Over than I like but coming from a fatso himself That was it had that was his appetizer of a gift and then his main course gift and then his main course usually and that's main course was it's a penguin shape thing that you stick to the wall in the bathtub that it uses the bath soap and it makes bubbles while he takes a bath it spins around

and it's bubbles okay now that's a lot of it that's another bobby gift I don't take baths you and beer knows me I don't fucking believe in baths but if you keep losing weight you might be able to that was good that was a good one scopal what'd you get? And he knows me I don't fucking believe in but if you keep losing weight you might be able to

Scrop or what'd you get I got a bunch of Get Mike's Dan's tricks. I know you didn't get Mike's last week's podcast. I got him a book on unions I got him one thousand plastic washes He got on the Models mannequin that he stole those clothes off of him. I made a YouTube video of all Scorsese hot scenes. All the kills, all the kills in the Scorsese. The appellone you see from Godfather. Yeah. I recreated that one shot in Goodfellas. With me, my father, and my mother.

I got him two acuero rims. You got to buy the other two yourself, but he's got to start. You know, start a scene. Wow, you fell off I Got just it you saw me looking you in the eyes You felt like Rosanne during your act I don't get it I don't get it no she's a What did she say to you?

I like you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That's okay. Are you gonna be in a kiosk in the fucking naiac mall? That's pretty cool. You guys gonna buy watches? I did work in that mall in high school. What are these? These are rattlesnakes. Yeah. You ever say something crazy? Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch- and whatever the fuck you did. Yeah, don't. All right, so now Scopo, what did you get?

It's a couple like toy trucks, ages one to five. I believe I got it for him. It's good. Solid. What the fuck was it? The father in Scrooge, he got him a pound of meat. That's a good gift, but somehow it derailed the entire podcast. You know what I'm saying?

That's because fucking. fucking is one to five make up for if swallowed yeah I don't know got him trucks you got a part for the swallow that's a great album yeah it's fucking middle of the road scope oh fucking attitude I don't know I got him trucks don't break down I got him food trucks really I'm just putting money in my own

pocket I would have to say out of all the gifts the top two can I do you have the top two? No, no, no, do them in order. Go for three two one. I would say, I don't want to go one two yet because there's two of them that I like. Go for three two one. Hang on, there's two of them I like. I'm not going to do what you fucking say.

Why are you going to get that and you fucking fat-lip mouth? God, I love watching Alph just clash into each other. You know. I like the baseball glove. With the ball. Good job, Joe. Thank you, Dan. Thank you, Dan. I appreciate that compliment. Kelly, let me tell you something.

We all know I'm not gonna pick books. So before somebody says- Before somebody says the joke, all right, maybe Don like the books, but come have dawn really like the Bobbi I imagine Bobby shutting Shuttling Max's door gone and then he goes into the living room puts his reading glasses on it opens up the first one Dude is please for dude I Speed dude is please for dude D is for dude right that down Kelly. Yeah, it's what you're fucking forget it. I like the claw Oh, doesn't like the claw I had it my whole childhood the claw the dinosaur claw

I was like you know the one where you pull the trigger in the claw. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I had a dinosaur head one Yeah, there's that one probably not when you club. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I had a dinosaur head one when I was a kid. Yeah, there's the Thursday. Yeah, probably not when you were one, but yeah. No, last week. I had a 12. I had one I was one. And I like the bubbles.

Yeah, that was a good. All right. So those are my top three. I'll give you my top three. Now the number one toy, if I was to pick out of those three, yeah. Everybody's hanging on your, I'm so excited if he says the bubbles. God damn it. I'm gonna punch whatever if he doesn't do the bubbles whoever it is. I think it's a claw. The gloves would not would not be my number.

Is it like a ten? No, no. It's fun. Most romantic now the bubbles Now they are it is a cool thing sexual which is it it's cool? It's given max the central baths While he looks at the picture that you give but you can you you can only use it once a day where the claw is all day long Every day, but I still would pick the bubble. Oh!

Bubbles. Oh! Because if I was a one year old and I was gonna take a bath, I'd tell you what, I wouldn't want that little Tweety bird flipping around spitting bubbles out. Listen, I think I'm gonna appeal this. I think by the age of three we'll overturn this.

We got a lot of time. I've got a lot of money for legal that gets only becomes useful from 74 till death Yeah, now you use the bubbles yet with them does he dig it? Not we haven't opened them we just open them all today What's up, Joe? Here's the thing Robert As you know My Irish background I have a lot of guilt and Irish background I have a lot of guilt and Boy, and then we have some nice guests here who are very combined. They're very funny I don't want to I don't want to belabor the the whole party conversation here and take away from their time because I'm on here all the time And let's be honest Mike's never gonna be back on so

That is not I want to get that's my My come looking at you you would definitely back I believe the issue here On the morning of June 1st I believe the party was I was a little crunched for time It's a big week for me and there was a little crunch for time and It's exhausting by the way. I had to I was running a little low on time and uh... It's exhausting by the way. I had to uh... I really was tired. I was running a little low on time and I know people were waiting.

So I have to uh... I just, the guilt is killing me. You don't have to do this. Dan Soder, uh... He picked up the gift for me. Oh. I didn't want to do that Bobby. I'm an investor.

You'd be sabotaging me. The other thing is... I don't care for your son. I like you a lot. I love you. I love you. I love you. The kids a little bit of an you a lot. I love you. I love you. The kids a little bit of an elitist.

So, uh, dad's son, he bought the gifts and he gave me, he let me, he let me pick which ones I would like. And uh, it was really sweet. Ooh, do you know what that means? You know what that means? You had two chances to beat me and the Bobby Kelly gift off. And I thought you were. Also, the Gator shirt, the Gator shirt is personal and sweet and he was traveling when he

got that. The rest of these were bought the morning and the time. I had to say congratulations, Lewis. You bought the gift that Bobby likes the most. I think you should be in his pocket. If I could just real quick, this changes my, this, the fact that you bought both of the all these gifts, they all came from you and wait a second. I didn't even take into account that you went a long time ago and thought of my son

When you were in a fucking another state, and you said you got him for this you thought of my son You went I'm gonna get this for little Maxie. Yeah, like you actually thought of my son when it wasn't his birthday When you were just out there in the world Connected so I'm gonna change No I've got about some I mean on about some Yeah, I'm a check down the whole show. We do that ape shit. I didn't I didn't buy those gifts from Max fucking monkey They were given a James for his birthday. I took them away from my own son and gave them to you That's regifting you

Listen me you are both very white He's Puerto Rican I read they don't know there's no Regifting in that world There's Loved boy, yeah, there's no re-gifting and there's no hand me down. It's just your clothes It's called the store. When you go to your aunt's house, you have older kids. It's called going to the store.

It's just last 40 years in my family. And I also, I have to say real quick, I appreciate you picking the gator shirt. But I have to give this to Lewis because I don't have a child. So I have expendable capital that I can just spend on getting. Also, you have a job. That's true. Let me tell you this did you did you buy that? Can you stop telling us one to laugh at you? No, I don't care how many people in the world read at me. I'm fucking doing it until I die

You fucking come to me really tweet at me your pieces of shit They really do get you get sent Listen They really do get Listen That's just instinctually came out of you fucking mad dog. I didn't re give I did buy that for you Listen, I don't believe you now. I swear to you. You're just reaching you lost, bro. It's not true So does kid and did you buy that gift in Louisiana from acts? Yes, that doesn't that's it You're the same clenches it that hurts look at for multiple reasons number one Uh, I knew Max's birthday was coming up, right number two

It's a gator shirt. We get you one. Jesus, but the shirt's a gator. Oh, he loves giving speeches Number three, he's in love with Bobby. Uh, the game one last night. The seller it was Ah, you stink that's what he's in last night. No last night I was tired because I was at six flags running rollercoasters with my friends all day I'm tired riding I can't believe first of all I can't believe you can't even fit in two thirds of the rights That's you're too skinny I can't believe you didn't invite me to this fucking. You were invited.

You didn't, you didn't, you didn't, you didn't personally invite me. No, I remember the picnic you were saying you weren't gonna invite Bobbie. And I was like, I didn't invite him to this. You're my vibe. We just bumped. Two years kissed.

You know what? And I invited you to the fucking special moment in my life. Yeah, and then you told me right before I got there that nobody there likes me in that particular sense. And then I had to go before I got there that nobody there likes me, in fact, it's an census. And then I had to go in there being like, looking at all these headlines, like, who doesn't like me? I had to go in my head.

But then he goes halfway through the party, goes, who doesn't like me? I go, I was kidding, he goes, no you weren't. Who doesn't like me? I said, I said, you work in, I know that was Amy Schumer. There's a deal though. If that was true, he's not denying it. That's not true.

If that was true, do you think I really just tell you in front of them? Oh, he said it and he said it. Now, I didn't mean it. This is why he bugged me. I call him up. I know he drinks. I got a case of Corona for him. Because he only, there's only one, two cases, but everyone was drinking. I didn't drink one Corona, but we went through it. I was like, look, at Lewis drinks. I want to make sure he has beer. I want to make sure we have Coke for Joe. Diet Coke. Okay. Diet Coke. Oh, you got it already. Diet Coke. Diet Coke for Colin Quinn. And beer for Lewis, because I know he drinks a little bit. I didn't know he was just bringing James at the time. So I go, I call him up. I go, look, I got, I'm going to bring, I'm

going to have beer. But if you want anything else, alcohol wise, pick him up. I go look. I got I'm gonna bring I'm gonna have beer But if you want anything else alcohol wise pick it up You know what I mean you can get it because we're not we're only doing so does it all right What all good I'll get I know to do I'll get bloody Mary mix and I go look Dawn's not gonna want you in the kitchen Pairing bloody Mary's you fucking home. What is it brunch? What do you do? I guarantee it would have been a fucking hit at the party if I would have brought bloody Marymax and vodka I guarantee you people would have been like oh my god how thoughtful and great you are Nobody's gonna drink anything. Oh really? Oh my god, dude put a rattle snake you will be in the drink

First of all nobody's gonna drink anything your dirty hands were fucking involved in When you came out with dirty fingernails and handed somebody a cop with the bloody Mary Mitch or dripping over your knuckles, I missed it myself. You just got really good down in there. The salary's at the bottom. What is in there? Fucking, just, I mean, just,

but by the way, you see that, that's you because you're spinning this to make me be retarded. But I was actually suggesting something and that's you Unspinning your retardedness to make you sane retardedness is a word. You're a fucking idiot. You're an asshole Do it. I'm not afraid of you. Just go up beat up scuffle just to warm up Do it. Stop talking. Make fucking swing fucking jump froggy jump Stop talking and make fucking swing, fucking jump froggy, jump, stop talking and make a move, bitch. Exactly. But I think you'd be like, you'd be like, big horn sheep.

Exactly. You'd be arrested for beating up Scopo and I think you'd kill a beat up a retarded kid with that hat on. I don't think that band-aid. First of all, Scopo wouldn't protect me today. He'd fucking, he'd literally just step back and then take a hop on. Lewis, could you cut the band-aid inhalf and give it to Bobby and Dan equally? That was a same time simultaneous as the word I was looking for. I'll take a piece of it. Now listen, I apologize to our two guests. This violence, listen, this is his horseshit.

If he can't win Verbaly he goes to fist the cuff says the guy who's actually hit me before Three times hit me where where Through a bottle at me twice hard that's a Water bottles a fucking it's not hand. I don't know what hands are bottles are a plastic Poland spring water by the way filled with water filled with water My god how'd you take it He goes to anger he wanted to just punch something

Peer the guy is making fun of Lulu. Lulu don't take it right right. I had crushed some things. It's our show and his teeth. I need bubble machine to calm me down. That whole like 45 seconds we get to lead if you want. Kevin, you look at me upset. No I'm listening. Oh all right. Look at me upset. Now I was upset because I didn't get to invite it to your bit. Your bit. Oh yeah that's not what I thought we moved on from there. Why didn't get to invite it to your your Pidney. That's no one. I thought we moved on from there. Why didn't you like Kelly?

I texted like 11 people. Yeah, what's one more? You texted me? I don't know. Do you know something I invited personally around 40 people? This is the party at your home. This is like, hey, we're gonna get together

to Central Park. This is the problem. At your house, you don't have a backyard. This 200 comics. You don't text. I didn't text. I just know what I'm saying I know I know I didn't say here's a deal I know where I am with you and and you yeah, we're up in noem's house. We're good. You're party's good. We're good We're good. You've actually you text me

We talk all the time you'll call me out of the blue you're the only one who's ever call me to go. How you doing? That's not true. That's not true. What's your Bobby's the fucking liar? Hold on. I'm gonna be my Bobby's live song. Can you move over your chubby? Bobby's a liar You've caught you're the only one who's called me It's up to you Bobby. Yeah, and you also just stop by my house. Yeah, you just come over His really crazy hot girlfriend that I want You just come home his really crazy hot girlfriend that I want

Joe we've worked all the way through it we want through it on the train Dan's girlfriend is so fucking bananas horrible Oh my yeah, she's I don't know why would you be there scratching his chin like a perfect like a fucking What am I gonna get into the monkey cage Monkey cage I'm gonna let him tire out To guess with the union The tranquilizer gun and just shoot me the ass you're gonna let him just get on it You're gonna let him get on the glass and rub his little pink lipstick on it. Oh He thinks he's making love to me

He thinks he's making love to me. I'm not him doing it. He'll find a show. Dude, we injected him with AIDS a week ago. Dude, it was about the people can't see, have successful you are. So when you walk through the mall with her, they must be going, what the fuck is happening? You are a monster.

What do you think Frank is on his chase? It's hilarious, though, that his fucking chick is just as smoke and hot. And when you walk to the mall you don't think they think you're security the interest is like she was kidnapped when she's on her website he's I looked at her like she is so beautiful crazy hot like I just a point that the first time Lewis and Beatrice ever hung out was that Joderosa's birthday party you guys were having drinks at the corner of the bar.

I go, look at Louis, he thinks he's gonna land this. And he did. You know who wishes you to be, wish you said it to her. Do you know what I'm talking? When this is, Doros hadn't seen her in like six months or a year after that. And he was at Eastville and she was waiting tables at Eastville at the time.

I was with you. And he was like, he came over to us and he was like, oh man, that waitress is really hot. He didn't know it was good. And I jumped in it because I think you looked at him and I was like, yeah, right? Yeah, and then we go to him and he goes, I was like, what would you do to her? I would do what I would do to her.

And I was like, yeah, he's so real pig, huh? And I was like, I'm my girlfriend, Joe. And then he got awkward and slumped his shoulders even further. And then he wanted to go to the wine and go, Joe did he went home and jerked off to it. Yeah. And he just came in and he heard. I didn't affect the Rosa at all. Kelly. There's even You know what Joe did he went home and jerked off to it In the fact that Rosa at all Do you know how many people at a rich thank you Jerry? Joe and Kelly really I was just trying to hear like

It's like somebody's pressing fast forward I Like somebody's pressing fast forward I'm not a telly Joe just did the most accurate Kelly impression in history We hear it won't I overblown shitty Australian I'm not gonna get it again. Can we hear it again? Kelly try to tell a story So kidding a chicken

What's the story Kelly this is gonna be big? We're at the really John the Grand Four, Rich and Bonnie We did have a fast forward button. How great would it be if we had some Kelly talks? Well the listeners do. They would be cool. Kelly, go ahead. Kelly, I'm not sticking up for you twice.

You got my kid a bookie can't read for 13 years. I was thinking of it. Even then it's a stretch. I was thinking of it. When people figured out that Bay because she was doing photos, when I was like, oh yeah, that's Lewis's girl, she's doing photos. Every single person went, no.

As if this poor woman was reaching a trap. I still do it when she shows up really. I had to defend him, I had to defend him. It might be an Elizabeth smart situation. She's got Stockholm, she's got Stockholm's syndrome. She's brainwashed. She's like Stockholm. She's got Stockholm syndrome. She's like, he protects me. He protects me from the other bad men. I love that Lewis can't take new guys. I know. I know.

I know. He's like, is this a really passionate love story? About how she's someone she's not supposed to ever. It's 12 year old with 55 hours. Elizabeth smart. You got it. You got a show kidnapped and hypnotized. Now I got it from all the others after it. I did do it. You're not getting mad at me. No, I'm not. I don't get mad at Sean. I love Sean. Sean. That's me. I can't do a full sentence, but I think I do the best one word impression of You do a one word impression of everybody in the room Sean that's Sean Mike is just hey

Just be quiet soda is like a hold on let me think I don't know I can't do it. I can't Hold on let me think I don't know I can't do it. I can't He does not know I can't do it He does not know I can't do it That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit

That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's the end of this bit That's, Fenoia. That's just good. Let me ask you, where are you from, dude? I'm from New Haven, Connecticut originally. New Haven. How long have you been building Ferris wheels?

45 years. And if I wanted to win that fucking Dart game, is there a technique? It's a breakthrough, isn't it? It's a breakthrough. It's from the tip. Fenoia in his carny energy. He looks like a guy that would show up on an Italian restaurant

on a Wednesday and just with an acoustic. Hey guys, how you doing? That's pretty much my act right there. I know new guys will laugh at anything Bobby says because that would have gotten a bomb just now, but Donnelly was so happy. I hate this is what I hate though. Can I just say something? This is what I hate. Lewis is become like literally against me. No, I have. of going that bombed and just saying it bombed He's got to like make it like this You know I hate that people like they they respect me more than you respect me

And I they should treat me like shit or what are they he laughed? He thought it was funny No, Bob. Did you not think it was funny? I know Bob and just say it's a bomb. That's well It wasn't a bomb because I don't know. And just say it's a bomb. That's, well, it wasn't a bomb because Sean Donnelly ruined it. Sean? No, he didn't ruin it. He laughed. He's not laughing because he respects me in any way.

He jumped on the bomb. We're all getting in. You're making it like I'm some fucking like, I'm in a mood and you're analyzing. No, you're a fucking yeah. No, why are you busting Sean's mouth? Let him fuck it laughs He should be you're just a cunt

He's making it like people have a fucking good time and then when they laughed at something I said that was kind of funny. Maybe it was maybe was it you got a fuck no he that stinks You're an idiot fillet. Let him have a good time on the show just cuz you don't like me and you got shit against me That's your crazy business. No, it's not. Now Bobby again, I think you're taking it. Then shut the fuck up. Yeah. I can't do it. I was waiting to do a fucking thing. I knew it. I knew it was talking. I know. I know. I got a whip up.

You're a good thing. Look at Lewis. I want to hear it. I want to hear it. I want to hear it. Oh, could you, could you, you I want to hear it. I want you Bobby. Oh, could you You said you never hit me How could you pass me another water? You please do your thing

I'm saving it cuz I like it. We give Bobby the gift it was my idea to get him yesterday at six. Yeah, we got you a gift fucking Yeah, yeah, my idea you know it was your idea to get him yesterday at 6. Oh yeah, we got you a gift. Fucking yeah. Yeah, my idea. You know, it was your idea. My idea was lose. Oh, you know what I would have been at him. It would have been a greater gift if I was invited. You weren't invited. I was not invited.

You fucking c'mere Bruce Cramer. I probably fed you knock at the front. You're fat. I fed clubs one day a month for 6 months. You're still fat. You're fat. And you're still fat. You're still mean.

You're still fat. You're fat. You're a hit of fat. You're fat mean you're still fat good. You're fat. You're a hit of fat. Make out make out your rapist. Yes, oh I didn't I didn't go to six flag you say but I'm hanging out with six facts Oh Bobby I can't wait to blog about that. So as there any as there ever been a comic that made it out of New Haven Thank you. You're looking at it. I think you're the only one, right?

I mean it's weird. Where are you from? Long Island. No shit. Yeah. A lot of great comics. Right on the border of Maslow County. No shit dude. Yeah, that's not gonna be crazy.

How old are you man? I'm 36. 36. How old are you bro? 34. No shit. And you guys are, where's the clubs you played mostly? Uh. I do the stand, I do LOL, I do... I got to say clubs, so the stand?

Pretty much. What do you play? I'll do Caroline's the stand and stand up in New York. Oh shit. Yeah. I love that. The stand in New York is actually a great club. It's a great club.

They really turn that around. They did, yeah. It's way better than that. John is one of the funniest guys in New York, and Mike is here. Yeah. Wow, bitch. I feel like I'm gonna continue to know. We worked together a couple times.

Yeah, I know where. We worked at a place in Connecticut, and you walked in, and there were pictures of all, like, road guys with, like, football pads on it. Yeah, that bar, right? And you go, look at me. If my fucking picture ends up on this fucking wall I want you to tear it down and tell me yeah, I'm here to tell you today that your picture is up on that

I want you to fucking tear it down. Yeah, and I want you to kill me after the show Providence huh was like a restaurant comedy connection. Oh, you're really no shit. Yep. All right I forget a lot. That's okay. That's all right. But good to have you here. Thank you. I'm happy to be here Let me see the chat room real quick. We're gonna we're gonna This is a crazy show and I came in a little heated. I've had a I mean Oh the energy in here was Luckily, you have really really good friends like Lewis and I Loose you said you're his friend. I'm trying to get us. Lewis J Gomez breakout comic of 2014 marked my words.

Thank you. Can we bet on it? Mark my words. Thank you very much. I appreciate that. I would like to bet on it. So Lily, all right, Bob, if you like that. As much as Lewis annoys me, he actually did something yesterday which made me laugh so much and even thinking about it makes me laugh and I worry watched it like eight times. What did I do do you took a video of yourself on the roller coaster and it's the funniest thing I've ever seen New Quiddits you broke I'm on back on where you at bitch

I'm out there. I'm out there. I'm out there. Where you at bitch? Housewives of YKW Two life two story WD or it's love love and YKW If you haven't watched it, but it's one of the funny things because he's going crazy Then you where you should be scared out of your life is like just Blowing like like shooting guns in the air like it doesn't even matter I'm not a spaceship like shooting guns in the air like it doesn't even matter. He was like, hi shit. And he was like, space shit. I was like, I was like,

I was like, that hash pen on the wall. I saw, I saw, I saw, I saw the video on the, of the road. That's how I knew I wasn't invited. I'll say when you went, when you went, you went, oh, the comics fun. What did you call it? The comic, uh, comics take over six likes.

Comics take over six. New York City, how many people, what 100 people went, right? Nah. New York City Council. How many people, what? 100 people went, right? So, I said 100 people went. So, I said 100 people went into like, uh, maybe 50 or 60 that were there. The crazy thing about it is you were like, oh, let's not rent a party van. You were like, oh, just go to this cheap rental van, please.

And somebody will drive. It's like, fuck you. What's the drive? No, my sister drove. It was better than a party van. Here's the thing, good. Every time you do something like that, everyone was like a one-on-one we get a group discount I'm gonna fuck 30 bucks. Why don't we rent the party van? Here's what happens

It's the same like my truck fits eight It's the same way when you go out to dinner with a bunch of people and whoever puts it on their credit card gets fucked Right somebody would get fucked in that situation I'd rather spend the next 15 bucks a person and figure out a ride right that have it be me or somebody else and have to Isn't that place like you bring a soda can and you get in for like $1? No, you get it. It's like 40 bucks with the discount. It normally it's like 150.

And Bob, would you have really went through? No, 100. Huh? Would you have really went? We'll never know. We'll never know. We'll never know. I gotta say.

We'll never know because next time I won't, because I know my role. I know my place. What if I do a comics? I am not welcome at a Joe List event. I know that. ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa?

¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? ¿Qué te pasa? a domicilio solo pidiendo el line. ¿Saparao? 3 por 1, 3 por 1, ah no, no, no. ¡Dominos!

Pizza. Todo empieza con un paso. En Sanitas, fuimos los primeros en ofrecerte video consulta con tu médico de siempre. Con programas especializados. Otro paso, cuida tu mente. Y otro, ficio digital. Cada año queremos que disfrutes de la asistencia médica, presential y digital que mereces.

Dal paso a Sanitas y disfruta ahora de bluayud durante un año gratis. Pulsan el banner para saber más. welcome and I know that I'm not I'm not on the list to uh... uh... you're not welcome you're not i i ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha the horses. If I'm Sean looking at the tickets on the floor trying to find a way. Come on, Kris and I. I can't go home. Come on. I can't go home. It's all gone. Everything we saved up. It's all gone. I had a thing. The guy told me they were going to run fast. So you could do sentences, but my one word is better than yours. That is. That is a sentence.

I can't compete. Sean. Yeah. And mine. But I can't do a sentence. I can't compete Sean I can't do a sentence No, yeah, yeah, throw the white How many kids you got I don't have kids I live here in the East Village and my wife lives in Connecticut his jokes are his babies Move to one day after his baby was born wait a minute dude your wife lives in Connecticut and you live here. Yeah With big J he lives with big Oakerson big J in his girl. Yeah What the fuck She's still at school. Yeah

All right, so listen you what his wife is 11 you up you up you A major he's black. He's very light-skinned, but yeah That's so fucking weird That is trying to make it work and she's trying to run your wrist. She's what she's a nurse and uh She's a nurse and she goes to school full-time and I'm doing this so I'm there and they're falling out of love And I go down now it's actually the best we've ever been he's fucking yeah, no, I know I know I know I know No, she told me that It's awesome. It's gone. It's it's gone really low. I see you're like two three days away. Right and No, I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know Yep, and when did you move here? March, how did you present that tour?

See it We do just one word answers. I had a conversation actually I had a conversation with Jay about it about how like you talk to the game about fucking No, no Why don't you talk to Lewis about career advice. That makes a lot of sense, that joke. I have Lewis get edited out of this podcast. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Anyway, so you talked to him because he said big J, anyone, well, where you want to do it? Like a bunch of women behind her back. No, you went, you went, he went timeout.

Do you have fingers on your gloves? Get them off. Those are out of here. What's your wallet connected to? Chain throw one on. You don't know where that bad boy can pop up. Can you talk about asshole for 20 minutes? No pants, surely.

Can you make all your jokes into one man show story for how many synonyms for pussy do you have? Alright, bump that up by about 70. Hey synonyms, wow. So you go to her and you say what? I talked to Big J and he said. I'm talking to him about driving back and forth because he was going back forth from Philly and having gone back and forth because he was going back forth from Philly

Right. I've been going back and forth from Connecticut and Just talking about like am I gonna take this seriously and go forward or not? You know when I had talked to her in the past about it and we never saw each other anyway, right? So Fuck it tried it out and you know, I mean we see how it works and so far It's I feel like it would work though because you get your own space and then you get to pine for and like want a sear And then you go sear for two days and then it's great for two days then yeah, but there's also annoyed There's also the other fucking side of that you cannot pine for you could actually get used to not being around her And then you know as you get more comfortable in the city and then you're gonna if you get more popular

You're gonna get more pussy advances And then you're gonna get you disconnect. I know if I'm on the road too long, if I don't keep the connection with my chick, I disconnect and compartmentalize. And then all of a sudden, I'll take what I can get, where I can, some affection wherever the fuck I can get it. And that's what I have to be careful.

You know what I mean? So, if you're everything I just said. I'm not saying no, I mean, it can work that way. And I'm sure you say it's working so you know better than any of us, but so far, yeah, so far, but here's the thing, and I always get scared of the girl to be honest with you, that my wife is gonna get bored, you know, and now that we live in the suburb,

she's gonna meet some fucking cool, weird neighbor. Hey, I'm Ethan from Down Street. Hey. My wife died two years ago, cancer. I've just been doing sit-ups in the garage. My boys the same age as my max. Oh my god, they'll get along so great. You know, I find a Boston accent on a woman so sexy.

What? You know, if you'll excuse me, I'll just- I love chest freckles. Oh. If you're excuse me, I need to go trim my charcoal beard and my long Barani man hair. Yeah, where how the ways your husband been he's been away for a month and a half I could never leave myself right now. He's in Toronto. Yeah, Toronto does he bring you back gifts from everywhere he goes He's got me chocolate from duty free one magnet. Okay. Yeah, I did I get a fork

So here's a deal man. That's a fucking scary scene. Yeah, we'll see what happens Way to get for it. Way to jolt the guy Outside the box and you're making your career work. I think it's a scary scene for me. I don't for you I'm glad that you're in your you're saying that it's great Joe Otherwise, girl's great otherwise if you don't do that you'll you grow resentments to your wife and even child If you're if you're putting your dreams aside and not doing it, so now you're avoiding those resentments. Okay, okay. What is, what is, but here's a deal.

Is she gonna come live with you at some point? After school? Well, she's got about two and a half years left to school. Okay. So when that happens, you know, the thing is we own a house and, well, she owns a house in Connecticut. Ah! Ah! That's sick! Guys, they is the rub. Did you take her last name? I'm shit. Oh, that's fucking

What's wrong? Listen, yeah, see what happens. I mean she has a she has a house there. That's why she can't leave it Yeah, I ain't cause of school. And because school boy. And so is the plan, is she rich? Well, she, I don't want about rich, but she's okay. She's often white in Connecticut. And a nurse intensive care unit for like, I'll tell you, can I be honest with you, bro?

That's a hard, I mean, I give you a lot of credit for pulling away from that, because that's an easy fucking life. You know, that's an easy fix. You can just fucking, I'll do comedy and Connecticut or on the road or in New York and pop in every once in a while. Living this fucking house. Does she put any pressure on you to get a job job?

No. So she's cool at what you do. She makes money. There's a house. I mean, all the pressure's on me. My wife doesn't work. So my house, I have to make sure that shit's going on. I can't, you know what I'm saying?

You're like the B of your marriage, right? What's that? You're like the B of your marriage. No. No. No. No. Come on.

Come on. Come on. I'm the bomb B too. I'm broke. I'm broke. I'm broke. I'm broke. I'm broke.

I'm broke. I'm broke. I'm broke. I a house, I would be like I'm fucking stink. It's very easy to stink. It's very not progressed. So that's actually balls you of you to make that move. And to live with big J which is just smell like musty mittens in that house. Because he doesn be surprised. Because he doesn't wash him every day. Does he have a different array of mittens? How are you gonna say? Like does he have summer mittens that are cooler?

Mittens that they're mittens. It's like the opposite of the, it's all right, it ain't that bad. It's not that bad. You know, I don't spend much time in the place anyways. Right. That's the, I'm not there to be comfortable, you know? So what's your plan?

What is your goal? Just keep on fighting make his way through probably I mean what do you have On the back Check out his YouTube videos and self defense Not only because the people not oh my god my no you're referencing nobody saw Bobby just poor water down his face Just that was awesome. No because it's a podcast you dummy You really are just stupid For four go might sorry

Oh good work Kelly go my two nice B James yeah go my two go my two night and jump off a fucking bridge James James the go my James way more to James Smith It's way into his real dead more Yes Kelly's on fire Dave doesn't even have a Twitter hand I love I love Kelly puts fucking dummy on tilt because he doesn't know what to do because she's never really that fun I don't listen to her words. I don't even know she was just talking to her I'm looking at her huge bites. I can translate I check it out. We're gonna take a break real quick piss smoke take a little bite

We're gonna do some ads. We'll be back very shortly So stay tuned around five, 10 minutes. It's gonna save five minutes, but it's gonna be more like 10. So we'll be back in a second. Dead. Oh. You guys, before we go.

Guys, before we go to the bath. All right, put me on. Let's go. Are you wanna read the ads on TV? Yeah. All right, check it out. I wanna thank all the fans of the YKW dude podcast and I also want to thank all you right cast fans who go to the other shows on the network.

News or the Davey Max sports program why you suck in bed. Nick Depalo, Jim Florentine show. My wife hates me. Weird medicine. Mad science scientists party hour the whole the jersey jerks in the baili bay show the baili j-show really uh...

what okay did i forget what what's right which one could you be you have forgotten bobby i don't understand what i'm so sorry to i'm so sorry to i apologize uh... the comedy seller because i really on the no no why would you be so mad about the comedy selling up?

I mentioned it was of course a hammer fisting With Lewis Gomez Jay You guys but make sure you go to the new ryecast calm and check out the you know what dude page and Also, there's that thing I do, cause I have acid reflux. Go to the Amazon there. If you're gonna buy anything off the internet,

buy, use our link, our Amazon link, and check out GameFly.com link, you can get two weeks free, all right, I believe? That's right. 15 days. 15 days, 15 days, 15 days, two game trial. That's a $19.95 value, 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15 days. 15. 15. in the mail, just like Netflix. So make sure you go to Netflix. What is it?

Gamefly.com? Gamefly.com forward slash YKWD or go to rightcast.com, forward slash Robert Kelly and click on the Gamefly link from there. And make sure you go to tweakedoddo.com for the most inexpensive, reliable headphones on the market. Tweakedoddo.com has many different sizes and mic and non-miced. And you get 33% off. Five ones that are made out of wood. Yeah, you do. They have wood ones, they have plastic ones, purple ones. Mike ones. And the code word if you use, you get 33% off, free shipping and a lifetime

limited warranty. What's that code word Kelly? The code word is dude. Dude, that's DU-DE dude. When you go to cash out on the website at twiekdodio.com, use the code word dude, you get 33% off free shipping and a lifetime limited warranty. So, and the headphones wind up being a few bucks. So, by, I bought like four pairs, I had them all around the house in the office in my bag, so I'm all, I'm never without a pair head phone. You use them as shoelaces, doesn't even matter.

With a jewel. Yeah, tie them together, escapes from dawn, right? I don't understand that one, I'm not going with that one. I don't know if I can get a rope. Yeah, I live in one floor house. It's weird that he would do that I know. Alright, so I make sure to tweak.io.com, use the code word dude. Alright, we're back.

Bob, I'm very disappointed that you didn't like the Royal Dile Book. Every child should have a Royal Dile Book and I make sure to tweet.io.com, use the code word dude. All right, we're back. Bob, I'm very disappointed that you didn't like the role dial book. Every child should have a role dial book And I'm happy to start Well, here's a problem with your book, okay? Yeah, is that you you wrote it and we had to read your shitty handwriting So don was like row day Okay, what and we were both like what the fuck is this? And then we saw the book. And it was like, wow, Kelly thinks about longevity with books, cause they're one of the first ones. Oh, you just fucking grabbed a book out of your shelf.

How dare you? I'm not a regifter, they're brand new books. It's a little, I can show the receipts. I'll tell you, I, with the book, cause I do have a kid. Did you regift my gift? No, I didn't really, I really didn't. Cause I regifted your gift. I did. I did. You gave me a gift card. No, I didn't really, I really didn't. Because I regifted your gift. No, you didn't.

I did. You gave me a gift card. No, I regifted the gift that you just gave me. No, you just gave me a gift. That's not true. That is true. I wouldn't do that either. I would feel too bad about that.

But no, books aren't. They're not a good gift for a little kid, especially if it's ones that they're supposed to read later on. They can't enjoy it. There's supposed to enjoy it for the next year, for the next birthday. I understand that, but when you're looking at gift today, so enjoy it, let me finish. You have to get them a gift that's just to enjoy it for the next year. I understand. I understand that. But so you're going to get to the answer. Joy, let me finish. You have to get him a gift that is going to enjoy five years.

Yeah, and that I'm going to explain to him who you are, where you went. What happened to you? No, she's back in Australia now. She's running a fucking pork farm in Australia. The thing is, like, kids have so many toys. Kids have so many toys and all that makes them happy. You give them some keys. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no, kids, no Had an aunt who gave me fucking books every single year Talking like six years old when you want to your aunt is a fan of the show by the way No, yeah, she is so I know she definitely would not be a fan of the show

She does so It's like someone has to be like pushing the book angle you know I'm gonna say to say people that like books don't like this show I The fans dumb I didn't say they were dumb Yeah, you did books. I think I'm smart Can you not do that weird thing with your eyebrows? I

Can do things I'm smart like everyone says I'm smart. I want respect. I know things I'm so sick of us not giving Bobby his gift Give him a dumb gift so we can move on Do you want to do an aesthetic way? What is it? Give him the gift your fuck? I want to hear the story. Stop fucking pushing it, Joe. Well, they have to be tied with this gift for an hour and a half. What's stopping them? Give them the gift, five. You can never come on the show and sit there again.

Why? Because you're making me tired with your body posture. You have the body posture of a shit carton. I like body posture as a person. It's a couch. You should be watching the game. I don't know. I'm comfy. Look, there's a pillow behind me and it's a guy. I know I need to get rid of you too comfortable You haven't said a word you're napping it like watching this happen. I said a word of fucking shake

I gotta make him think his wife's gonna cheat on him and leave him just to get a something out of him guys a both Too comfortable. Yeah, it's way too comfortable. Go ahead What I'm not gonna talk now. I'm gonna show on. I'm not gonna talk now. I'm gonna show on. I'm gonna show on. I'm gonna show on.

I'm gonna show on. I'm gonna show on. I'm gonna show on. I'm gonna show on. I'm gonna show on. I'm gonna show on. I'm gonna show on. I'm gonna show on.

I'm gonna show on. I'm gonna show on. I'm gonna show on. I'm gonna show on. I'm gonna show on. I'm gonna show on. I'm gonna show on. I'm gonna show on. I'm gonna show on. I'm gonna show on. I'm gonna show on. You were saying to me that eight. We met, no we met, Dan Soder got to my place at 8.15. What happened?

We hit traffic, we had to go downtown. We fucked up dude. We picked up Ari and Dave Smith in Midtown. We should have went straight up across the George Washington and Bridget into Jersey. The Oster should have used Google Maps, that map, Quess shit. Plus I got really high and really lost.

Did you go to the fucking movie night too with Ari and everybody? There was a movie night. I don't know. When, when, where, I had a barbecue and they went to the movie after no, there was a barbecue. I think of that You might be thinking of a picnic No, it was a lot of fun. It was Wayne Ray. It was barbecue. Tana people. I heard about you picnic You guys have a bunch activity and the second one was wise lived up to the first one. I heard I didn't hear about the picnic I just I didn't hear about the picnic. I just saw the pictures hear about the picnic I just saw the pictures on Instagram and they don't invite you Kelly, huh? I didn't Instagram many pictures

I don't why don't you invite Kelly? I'm legendary for inviting Kelly places actually out of everyone in my home. You're fucking ass I Why are you on a dance while you on a me bro? I did a spread across Hey, the whole spread I invited Kelly to six flags. I I invited James's first birthday. Here's what I'm telling is dramatic so you get to hear every time something isn't perfect in Kelly's life you get to hear about I'm fucking dramatic Yeah, I am I am a five I have an I have an open heart Bob I know I get hurt easy

I get hurt easy Bob I'm gonna hurt heart disease Yeah, you require open heart surgery Joe punch that be our joke I was a tag team effort. I was a better joke It's gonna tag teams you guys look like a tag team and then Kelly's your manager who throws salt and people's eyes But there's the other ones that they lose to the new cool tag team. Yeah, listen Hey, Bob. I'll tell you I I know I'm going to lose the room and I say this, but I have to say you don't have to. You never had it. At any point.

When I do one of your jokes, if you could start every sentence with it. You guys can't all have the same. You can't all have the job. That's what she says, wait before she gets on stage every night. Hey guys, I know I'm going to lose the room right now, but just watch this. Yeah. I bought a summer pass. So if you ever want to get a six flags again, I'm gonna lose the room right now, but just watch this. Yeah, got to get. Go ahead. I bought a summer pass. So if you ever want to get a six flags again, I'm gonna pick me up, but oh yeah, I'll go with you.

I'll summer pass on that one. Wait a minute. Ah! That was the main of the episode. Oh. Thank you, Billy. You got the rattle on that one. That was great.

I got it. I got how that worked. Louis really has a telemundo at us. How do you know that was a bit of a- I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't. They were how that worked. Yeah, Lewis really has a telemundo in it. How do you know? I hope you, I hope that's how you make it with that rattle. You seldom have to let go. I'm gonna use the rattle. Scumbo's out front going rattle.

Rattles. Get your real last rattle. Get a rattle. Get yourself a Lewis. I'll never sell. You got rattles and hot sauce. Scumbo, you're never coming on the road with me again. It's over. I can not come on the road with you.

Tell you're in. Yeah, I can't come on the road with you. I'm fun. You're in the shot. You're constantly on the road as a nice road trucker. He's rattled. This is Angela's ashes rattle. You guys kidding me?

This ice is going to get out I'm in this truck in any moment I'm gonna get across the lake So you married? Yeah, how long you been married? Where's my wife's three years? How long? Three years? Three years, how long have you known her? A known her like six? Where is she? Did I hope we find out they have the same wife? Right now, she works on like 16th Street

He spent his Monday and Tuesday with her Yeah That's why she's so excited. The one looks beautiful, Sean. Yeah, I live with Mike, most of the way, and I live my wife and the way he goes. So where is your wife? She's at work right now.

Really? Yeah. And what does she do? She's an actress, her real. Because the questions are getting more and more. No, no, she's an actress, but she works at a financial place during the day. You know how that works, right? She acts by night. Yeah, she's an act, but she works at a financial place during the day You know how that works by night. Yeah

Nobody acts at night Here Broadway theater you fucking retort. Yeah, are you serious? Nobody acts at night? Are you out of your mind? I don't know the language that well So so your wife your wife is where she has a real job a day job She's day job and she's Neater. She's a theater night. Yeah, and she does the day act. She's day theater. So she's She's an actress the same way. Fennelia is a comic She's going on when tech that I went with Kelly. And here's the thing with Mike. He's a big cat

Yeah, and he's got those fucking fucking guerrilla forums He's a mountain lion. Yeah. Yeah, you look like you're gonna fucking jump the table on. Yeah, you really got old sailor forearms. That's right. You should have a fucking attitude made in a prison with those arms. Just blue ink.

You mean from where are friends? Yeah, okay, I'm friends with you too. Me and your friends, what do you, why do. Why do you have to make statements about everything? Why is everything, you know, with friends? I get it, I know the rattlesnake, I know how comedy works, dumb dumb. I get it, your friends. Kiss.

Well, we can't bust your balls. I can't say he's gonna jump the table and attack you. Make out. Without you fucking going, hey, he likes me. Everybody likes you, Louis. Everybody likes me. Everybody likes you, Lewis. Everybody's humor. My name is Schumer. She likes you too.

Great birthday party. You threw for her by the way. Oh man. Marble Keefer Amy. It was really perfect. Oh my, did you give that bubble machine to your son? That was for Amy. Wow.

Thank God. Thank God. That was a real ass bomb. Also, that was my joke that was in question earlier. Yeah, and I would like to get this instead of a band-in, I want to be a noose. I'll take it. I'll take it.

I'll take it. I saved you. I'm really hurt. I thought we were friends, Lewis. Now I'm finding out all this information. We're friends, Sean. Sean? So, Lewis.

So, your wife, she's an actress? She's an actress, yeah. She does a lot of stuff. Where'd you meet her? I met her at a bar in Brooklyn. My neighbor, I don't know shit. Yeah. no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, but like you know the movies or whatever you see them on is probably a year or two before you you know you filmed it a couple years ago you know what i mean so you do like a late night thing like not that long he look great i said yeah but you got him sitting down i know i saw him on kimo three years ago and he i was at at kimo he could barely walk like two things he still has all of his his marvelous

oh yeah so yeah you can get him out there and prop. Prop. Yeah. Right. That's what you do with danger field. No. You're being the day. You're like 80, 80, 80, 80 close. But you've been here the danger field thing that is last wife would would prop them up out on stage and then talk to him through an earpiece and tell him his jokes and he would just say them. Yeah. Oh, wow. I don't know who's talking. Yeah. I'm afraid. God is a god. I just made a boom boom in my pants. What you say? What you say? He's he's fucking so

Funny you watch those rows you watch him anytime on a couch, he was fucking hilarious. So fucking funny. That thing with him and Johnny Carson when he broke his cigarette case on the table and he was guest hosting. Oh, when he was, yeah. Oh, which we had to talk about.

Johnny walked over to a live taping of his show, walked in, Johnny walked over to a live taping of his show, walked in, fuck you, and then interrupts it, and then he goes, Johnny Carson, and he goes, they know who the fuck I am. That is so, you know what I mean? Don't fucking tell them, they know me more than you, you fucking juke. That was awesome, I love that shit, I love that. Oh shit's great, huh? There's a great couch moment with Chevy Chase Richard prior in Carson. That's on YouTube. You should watch what what what happened?

Chevy Chase keeps two the voices. He fuck yourself. Uh, he keeps He keeps trying to make jokes. Chevy Chase keeps making jokes. No, I got what you're gonna do with Chevy Chase He keeps making jokes about much more. I'm not gonna manage Chevy Chips. I'm gonna fucking throw something. This is why I get it, I get it. Get what? Get what?

I get why you're fucking throwing things at Lewis. He is like a giant mosquito. And he's just sucking out the momentum of any story. Everything. He's like, what about the voices? What was the lighting like? It was funny because Chevy Chase was basically being addicted Richard prior and prior snaps And it's like hey aren't aren't you gonna take Carson's job because Chevy Chase was quoted in the newspapers at that time

And it's the most fucking awkward thing in the world and Johnny Carson just shits on Chevy Chase in front of Richard prior What's he say? He's like oh, yeah with all those chops with your model are gonna be you falling over a chair He's like, oh yeah, with all those chops, what your model are gonna be, you falling over a chair. And he's like, he keeps going and Chevy Chase, like, well, I never really said all that stuff. And then prior, start shitting on him, it was awesome. It's great.

I don't see that. That sounds great. Is that on YouTube? Yeah, it's on YouTube. If you're gonna pay $0.99 for the whole set. That sounds like last week's podcast, when we all shit on Lewis. Put him on tilt.

Oh, he really is the Chevy Chase of the podcast. I wasn't good to hear, and then it's all done. I wasn't invited. I wasn't good to hear and then it's all invited. I wasn't invited. You were. The last few weeks. Yeah. Well, keep that attitude. You won't be invited for the next few weeks coming up.

I don't know. Well, you're giving everyone shit about not getting invited to the picnic. You weren't invited to show. You weren't invited last week, Joe, because it was a fat episode. And Lewis is fat. Oh, no. I like how you started that sentence with that hat on.

Like you. I don't like special needs. I don't like you. You couldn't be here. The people said that I could tell you. I don't like his in the in the Mike whisper because it was a fat episode out of the corner of his mouth. We couldn't hear it. Is that so so I don't hear it? Is that what that was? We're gonna do a self-deprecation on this show. We should on each other here. Oh, okay, sorry. It's love.

Sorry, you can do whatever you want. Thank you very much. Yeah, don't listen to the roadie. Wait, is it supposed to be love? Yeah. Yeah. This is in Hamlet's Fisting. Yeah.

You don't have to go by Go-Mite Roo's. Can you do me a favor? Can you go to the chat room and block every GoMite? Yeah. Anybody that says GoMite's blocked. Yeah. I'm gonna root out all eight of them. Mm-hmm.

Lou, do you want to tell a story behind the present? All right, so Dan Soder couldn't win a goddamn thing yesterday. Nothing. I mean, really have it a hard time. We're trying to win presents for Dan. Yeah, because he's win everything in his career and his life.

All of his luck ran out officially yesterday. No, that's not true. What the fuck? You let him get a joke. That was a joke. That was a good one. Thanks buddy. You get everybody gets serious. Why so serious? Why so serious? I'm walking out at six o'clock. It's six o'clock. Dan had it one of the things. He's spending literally I think a hundred dollars on just Missing basketball balls fucking throwing darts not hidden blue. It was ridiculous

I got one second Mike on the basketball things those are bent right? Yeah How much Springs in the back kind of a mic so So then finally I was walking out and by the this is my idea. I was like we don't we should do we saw one booth And it was one of the things We sprayed the thing in the the clown's mouth. Yeah, so somebody had to win So it's look look why don't me Dan and Kelly just play by the way, I had I had it Kelly Oh, you did add Kelly Kelly was that the thing? Yeah, she was that thing. Yeah, you went wait a minute Kelly

You went to six flags, mm-hmm So you're invited so you went to six flags. Yeah, you went to six flags. So you're invited. So you went to six flags. Yeah. You went to six flags. I got to ride with you. You went to six flags. I didn't go. I was talking out from the six flags. I was invited by the go. Well, you go to six. That was invited, but I didn't go. I didn't mean to invite. I was marriage. I can invite on Facebook. Yeah, to Facebook invite for everybody. Everybody. I got. new one. I got a new one. I got a new one. I got a new one. I got a new one. I got a new one. I got a new one.

I got a new one. I got a new one. I got a new one. I got a new one. I got a new one. I got a new one. I got a new one. I got a new one.

I got a new one. I got a new one. I got a new one. I got a new one. I got a new one. I got a new one. I got a new one. I got a new one.

I got a new one. I got a new one. I got a new one. I got a new one. I got a new one. I got a new one. I got a new one. I got a new one. I got a new one. I got a new one. I got a new one. I got a new one. I got a new one. I'd like to read it. Okay, so let me tell you either way so this one prize booth They had all the prizes were just different foods So I was like we have to win one of these for Bobby. So there was there was cup. Yeah, hold on you know

Don't even say what it was there was cupcakes ice cream hold on there was There's cupcakes ice cream. There was a an ice cream sandwich right there was pizza There was an icicle making me hungry stop. Yeah, let's do it So we got no, I have to tell you Important Don't just don't what he listened to you if you said shut the fire up. I'm a me shop Okay, so what happened was is that you got you're fucking Story he's basically going to put in part point the story what's important part of the story which is that you two are gonna play and then Dan was like

Yeah, we'll let Kelly play no We didn't miss that really Kelly win no, we didn't miss that part. We said it Dan just said it But then you may Dan pay for me. I didn't make Dan paper. He also comes in nice guy Yeah, so how is that an important part of the story? Because that's just a very nice you Dan. It's a nice guy. So how is that an important part of the story? Because that's just a very nice, very nice, Dan. It's a nice event. It's a very nice year that you paid for Kelly. But how is that an important story?

I like gestures like that in life. When somebody reaches out and gives somebody money or an opportunity, that's nice, Dan. Yeah, it's a situation in your piece of shit. It's pretty much the theme of this whole episode. It's all the great things to do without having a, Dan's a fucking great dude. He's great dude. Sorry pretty much the theme of this whole episode. It's all the great Anyway, I'm sorry for interrupting dance a fucking great dude. I'm sorry for interrupting You're a good carny worker. That's right. Yeah, I don't know what to say. What the fuck was that? I don't know But I know that you didn't pay for Dan dead. That's what I know. Yeah, Dan's okay

Yeah, I just wanted to point that out Why would you important pop? Why did you say some Kelly? How the fuck is this kid who's busting his ass to support a child and a wife? Okay, how is he supposed to pay for you? When Dan's got all this, five lives in a two by two fucking thing in a story of a week. They're paying $30 a month in rent.

Yeah, because they invited me to play and if you were getting invited after dinner you should have to pay for it. Are you fucking retarded? Are you even listening to yourself speak right? That's a window into women right there And do is another situation You know what hey, hey, hey, maybe you're fucking DJ boyfriend plays for your games, but we don't fucking be you know Where did the DJ no I didn't know this is a DJ

I didn't know that he's a DJ. Hey Kelly, do you want to go get some drinks? When am I gonna meet him? Hi mate, what are you gonna to the big DJ had the picnic No, he is a guy I like to be boyfriend. It's a good guy So Come on pick it up buddy pick it up. It's fucking issue she run the story. No, that was it No, that was it. We got you a fucking baby. Don't be a baby Don't be a baby

Kelly as a like god She makes me twitch let me tell me time she said you make fucking everybody Twitch Including Amy Schumer right maybe Schumer doesn't even know your name She thought you seriously thought you were there to set up all this She thought you were one of my relatives Like she thought you were relative on dawn side. Lewis is good at setups.

The punchlines usually fall a little short. My right. I'm gonna mess with Lest. Hey. I want a creepy tongue thing that you've got. I don't know that that's the thing you're gonna do. Dude, here's a problem, dude, because she's never gotten me. Not once.

She's never said, a quip, she's never said anything. She's gotten you. Nope. She got you last week. She got you a budget time. She repeats things that people say in the episode earlier. And then you call and curly a parrot, you laugh at her thing, and then you think she gets one of those. But she's never, you can listen back.

She's never actually gotten me. First of all, I'm not listening back for you. This isn't a courtroom. I'm not going back to say, you know what, I listened to the last 30 episodes, and you're right, Lewis, I fuck you. I agree. I agree with Bobby, know what I listened to the last 30 episodes and you're right Lewis. I fuck you I agree with Bobby. I would never listen to this show Listen back seriously

She Don't go mess me what's the talk? I she fucking jumps up like she's she got me. Yeah, we know you guys Tell me She's legitimately cried to me because I've been making fun of her. She's actually crying I actually have she's talking me aside and said I'm really upset. She's making fun of me for not crying I remember that story and you said just throw away your mirrors and get to lose their clothing. It was really nice of you. No, but she's saying like, that's old punch up, Jill.

She's calling me. She's calling me a baby right now. She's going, oh, matey's crying. This is like watching an orangutan fling shit at a chimp. I don't care. She's wanting to be orangutan. The big, bright ass. What do you think?

I don't care. The big red ass. She's literally crying to me before. big bright ass. What do you think? She's literally crying to me before so how are you cuz you were hurting me so much? I was like leave me like this you lose your right to go all You really happy because you can't handle anyone else You can't handle because everyone else will smash you so bad you attack me because I'm the week one you fucking At least you know you're the weaker one Comedy the least out of this whole fucking room Eight years, but I just found out which yeah, you know what that fucking crazy. I've been doing I've been living in New York

Yeah, it doesn't matter for four years is too much doesn't matter when does comedy start? Doesn't matter. You've been working with comedy for four years, it's too much. It doesn't matter. When does comedy start? Dan, can you tell me? I would say like the first four gestures of the 15th century. I think you guys just sleep together

and get it over with them. Oh god. This moon lighting energy is bothersome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're so mad when I speak. I talk about the whole proof. What the fuck? Come on, come on, come on, come on,

to the whole proof. When you, when you, when you, when you're one word, you get to imagine me. Valley. But it's like, when you're saying, wow, young, I'm gonna get mad because you have actually fucking cried I've got many podcasts and we're giving each other shit now That's fucking

You're going back and you're doing stuff Kelly just You're making it How the fucking pass? Do you fuck with me now? No, I'm not coming You're bringing past things in, do you fuck with me instead of keeping it in the room now? Of course I cried because you were fucking hurting me

Good person a lot of the time that's the fucking Comedy starts in New York The latest thing I've ever heard my How many begins when you get to New York One of those emergency broadcasts She sounds like you To each point on a mine that I cried in front of you that's not what I'm saying you're even listening Isn't that what I'm making? Yeah, I don't want to make you're making fun of me being a baby Yeah, you just lose your right to make a joke You're making fun of me crying at a time I was fucking

Because it's a joke. You're making fun of me crying at a time. I was fucking I'm really out that you can't make fun of somebody for being a baby when you legitimately cry when people make fun of you Kelly Just make fun of it's been so pretty Christ must have Now she's gonna take that repackage and be her thing. She's like, oh yeah, what are you doing? You guys, it looks spooky movies? Yeah, why did that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it funny?

Did you see that? I really, I really, I saw. You see, mate, on the podcast, I didn't like that you made fun of the fact that I got it. I hate you. Could you not make fun of that? You look, Vincent Price. Didn't you steal that?

Well, I've only lived here for so many days. I don't, I don't think I'm sure you do comedy, but I'm 14th Street. You guys are such liars. You guys are top. So many people who said that to me before, and I believe even one of you has said that to me before. Like really, it's like that.

So you get the problem, I said I really, you get the problem. No, there's things that are awful in this video. I can't make fun of you getting upset. I can't make fun of you, R.A.K. I can't make fun of you being fat, but you make fun of all those things about me. Make fun of my body call me call me fat the other day

You make fun of my act you make fun of fucking the fact that I'm whining like it's hypocritical and boyfriend Keep going keep going you most stuff we don't like about you No, dude, that's my point Kelly. It, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Shit You get me in comedy I would do the opposite up because you don't know funny. What what? What you don't know funny. What is that? What do you mean I said she doesn't know funny? What do you mean Lewis look at those arms? That's the first time I've had to turn your mic up I'm just saying like you and that's the you can't even for you to give me shit right now You like and you got funny a mate you lose your your opportunity to know fun of my act or me being funny

I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel I feel Responsible No, no, no, this is real. You're the Michael Vick of this dog. No, it's his like like like Lerie's like sometimes he loves me sometimes He hates me hang on I need to give this to fucking yeah Sometimes he loves me, sometimes he hates me. Hang on, I need to give this to fucking. Yeah, I'll take that. Oh, that's not that. It's not that.

It's not that. It's not that. It's not that. It's not that. It's not that. It's not that. It's not that. It's not that.

It's not that. It's not that. It's not that. It's not that. It's not that. It's not that. It's not that. It's not that.

It's not that. It's not that. It's not that. It's not that. It's not that. It's just say shit Don't just say here's a thing dude. I don't care. I don't care what anybody does in the show I don't have any rules or regulations, okay? You do what the fuck you want, okay? I don't give a fuck what I'm saying you is is that you you were getting to be this that's all you were doing You know what I mean? It was just like, you just did it. And it was like every show was the same fucking thing. And I don't, okay, I would think that we have,

you know, we can have a better show than just doing the same thing. You tell me how much she stinks and crack. It's like, dude, we had to move on. And I got it. And I did. The fans of the show. Second that happens, then Kelly does this. She'll come at me at the same shit. No, I get what you're and I got it and I did the fans of the show second that happens and Kelly does this

She'll come at me at the same shit. No, I get what you I look it I understand what you're saying, but you know, I would never say look don't you fucking you look no, you're right You're fucking you dude. I get you you pissed me off, but I look at Joe aggravates me You're gonna love you. Dan never does that makes me mad ever I Here's Listen scope oh fuck me two weeks in a row, but I still I still love scope I still love scope. I love everybody too. Dude, if I can set the same relationship with my son that you have with Dan, everything will be okay.

Well, listen, the fact is that we all piss each other off. We're all comics. If we were all actors, this would be a very low key. Hey guys, do you see what happened today? This is a very volatile situation I'm putting together. I'm putting alpha male comedians whether to be women or male Even but the women that come on the show a fucking alpha Wimmers, okay, and you're in the same fucking room, and I'm just turning on the mics

So yeah, you're gonna have these fucking problems. I like them getting all this stuff out though. I want this to keep it I do too. I'm just saying you know,, it's... We have a judge's box. No, I don't think we need to do a fake court. I think Kelly, I'm glad Kelly's fucking over. Here's the thing, I'm not saying Kelly's right or wrong. I'm just glad you finally fucking sticking up for yourself and not just, eh, eh, eh, and just taking it. You got something to say, say, you might be wrong.

Say, you might be wrong. I'm okay with being wrong, but you can't say to me. Why is my mic not as loud as everybody? You can't say to me what I, like, the way that you go, I can't be offended by this and I can't be offended, I fucking am. You do do things that are just fucking wrong. You do do.

She said, do do. You're horrible. When you came to me and said you were offended. Yeah. I pulled you aside in front of, took you away from people. And I said, Fah-Hale, I won't fucking say front of took you away from people and I said I won't fucking say anything anymore, but you lose your fuck right after there's a story there was a guy Somebody posted some shit on Kurt Matzger's wall and I made a joke a racist joke and there was a guy

I don't want to say his name, but he had a black guy and he shit on the joke that I made this guy He had a YouTube video out that was titled world's worst comedian and it was him bombing on a TV show Like to a point where it's fucking unreal dude He actually got the video taken down since it took years world's worst comedians like five years the whole team It was like a reality show. They make it on a van It would he had a come up. Bellamy like just fucking yeah, do you believe smash him and there's two parts of the video the first party bombs the second party bombs Even worse bill Bellamy was Yes, Bill Bellamy Ray Jay was fucking

So dude from living single was shit all over Bellamy and I don't want to be shitty to the guy that's not even the point but look the guy I made a joke on Kurt Menter's wall of some of the young Manika said I made a race to show me a young Manika friends I just made some joke and then it was like nice attempt at a joke Can we can we stand topic this on topic? I will speed it up because you lost Joe Kelly who is just literally You sort of texting in the middle of it. You know, yeah I'm saying speed it up. We're losing the room low So the guy posted underneath the joke. He was like nice attempt at a joke. So I just put the video

So then he sent me a private message. He was like hey, dude, you know, you know, and he knew that was a part two So what the fuck could he say publicly? Yeah, but the point that I made was he lost that right once you go on YouTube And you're the world's worst comedian you get smashed like that Lewis Lewis on other Lewis you lose that right as a fucking dude. You don't know as a As a friend or somebody that you give a shit about you have some rights. I have some rights You have rights Kelly has Kelly has rights, dude. She doesn't lose. She's not a, she's not a no-name. She can't shut on my body. If I can't do that to her, she can't do that to me. But this is, this is, it's gotten better, but this is the point. I have a right to say that to you, Lewis, because I don't want, as a human being, like, I'm talking

about you right to say your upset, yes, you can say your upset. You're not fucking a person. You're talking over me. It. You're not fucking a racer. You're talking over me. Doesn't mean it's smiling. Let me talk. Let me show. She'll lose the argument for herself. But I have the right to be able to walk into a room with other comics and not be out

of nine people. That's not what I'm talking about. This is what you did to me. I can't not laugh at that. But this is what you did to me with your constant shooting, which is why I had to pull you aside and talk to you privately about it. You're the only person that's ever done that. You're the only person that's ever crying.

I swear to God, if you don't get one of those fucking vouchers out right now to make you shut up for 10 minutes, I'll fucking kill you, please. You have one? I'm one of those 10 minutes. I'm one of those 10 minutes. So not be bullied into the voucher. Please, say that right now. Do me a favor.

What is it? No, Karen, you're not listening I'm not talking about I was you had a voucher then Lewis to go longer I would love Lewis to go on I'm not I'm not saying you can't tell me not to show you I mean I don't have a voice because I know you're loud But you just did that here's the thing this will bugs me about you just did yeah, you just did what he was I have to fight the way he fights that just made my blood boil I gotta go watch that off that fucking attack dog when you go you just did what he was saying. You're like the way he fights. That just made my blood boil. I gotta go watch that off. That fucking attack dog when you go.

You just did something just like that. Yeah, like she was like, get him, puppy. That fucking drags me. I'm not getting anybody. You're, I'm not, you have the right to say hey, that upset me. I had a very sad day today. I am hurt myself, that my friends.

I'm a vato. Okay. Go, you have the right to say, you want to be a regular on the day. Michael, I a go in one One minute every time the show comes here me and Lewis have a fight am I right? You guys have a yeah that happened last time I was here. Yeah, we have a game It's for the game show. I will say this this all started if this from outside

I was not there for the story the gift. Yeah, I think it's all just annoying. Yeah, but I will say Lewis was trying to tell the story your interjection in this particular incident. I'm not taking sides did take from his story You fucked up his story interrupting to tell a part that Dan paid for your thing you right didn't add anything and it fucked up The story so that's what started this shit on my story and you went nobody cares I mean you dismissed it and that's and that's minute. I shouldn't say that. No rewind. We still haven't finished the story by the way. Nobody's re-walking. This isn't a fucking OJ trial.

I interrupt you to the story. I see his point that you... If he's gonna make fun of you, you can't make fun of him back if you don't let him make fun of you. It gives a two way streak. Well, I think what about you buttoning that shirt? If you could, that button flew off three hours ago. Yeah, I think you're as tight as a teddy bear in that country.

The thing is I bought it a while ago. Oh, you shit. You got stuffing. I think Lewis, I think you should give the gift and then you'll leave and then Kelly, he'll be gone. You can say all your points. All right, let's go. I don't want to talk about it. Can I have my fucking gift. I need a gift today give him a fucking gift Which is what's the game she has it? What is it from though? It's from the fucking game Why don't you go to be said then then finally? You want it? I'm so good at it. I had to grease the way

Dan, this is so bad it was you who won it It's the most anti-climax everything so right I know What is it he went you this? It's a piece of pizza I can't have pizza I know what is it he won you this I know but this way I can have it the fucking the greatest it's the hardest this is Bobby his hands are made of sugar Yeah, this is the greatest thing It was my deal. It's totally Lewis's idea. I'm watching my list goes buddy. Hey, we should one Bobby one of those fake food things

and put it in there. You know what? I did studio. He's always talking about food. He's Stone Cold Steve. Yeah. And the rattlesnake doesn't give a damn barrel. The Bobby doesn't care.

And that's the bottom line. There's Lewis Drake Gomez said so. Thank you very much. I don't want to make a big deal of it, but Lewis's hands and made of sugar really bombed there. I know it did, but I got to give. Here's the thing though. I guess it would have been nicer if I was there and I could have got it there But you know what about nice. Yeah, I wasn't invited I never got a personal touch by the way. It was only Facebook so

Rides is pizza from the picnic. I love you got to go buddy. There you go. What do you got? Guys, Levity Live, June 25th, I am headlining. What? What? One night only. I know you can't come along. He's breaking into the club and coming out of the list. You didn't need to say one night only. Yeah.

Ah. Headlining, we got it. One night only, June 25th. Guys, listen to me, Levity Live, it's an amazing love. Amazing. If you're in the Rockland County area, Westchester area, come out and check out the show. I really want to have good numbers there.

Like the truth is they headline. What have you done? You okay, Bobby? You don't have a good strike, are you? I don't have a calendar. I get to assume this is a Monday. That's full 30. I want to do numbers at fucking 320 in the afternoon on Monday.

If you guys can get out of work early, I will comp you. Oh, pay your rest of your day. You can get there. I'll go on. My girl's gonna bake some ziti. This is so fast driving. Sorry, so you want to bake ziti, you wouldn't bake some Ziti. You want to do some good numbers. So I got the fuck this 420 has to do with 519.

And then a week after, one night only, headlining comics and Fox Woods, Chris Scuple will be at both of these shows, by the way. That's great, he's so. So if you're in the New England area, comics and Fox Woods, so check me out. Alright, make sure you and and you have a website where they're going to find these days. Kelly if you stick a

sucks.com I was going to stop calling it that but she's just sucks so much that I'm wasting the opportunity so many people say those words in the world that I feel like. Go to my website. Thank you for taking the bandana before you leave. Wow. That was what super easy. So go to

go to what's your real website? Kelly's second sucks. That's what's the other one? It will link you to there. What's the other one? Realize dude.com Go to realize dude. He's an animal. He's a piece of shit, but I can't believe how funny he is Unbelievable Very funny Lewis Jay Gomez go to his website realsdo.com and check out his shows. He's headlining ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Chris Goppo from the show, the producer of the show, one of them who fucks up a lot lately will be doing comedy there too. Yes, I will be opening.

Yeah, so make sure you guys. Also, I'll be inspecting for the state in New York. You know the cause. If you need your emissions checked, we'll be in the front running text for 29 years. I also do bumpers though. I do body work, I do a lot of things. If you got a crack in your windshield, I can either fix it or I can replace it.

I can fix it on the spot, you can drive two comics at Foxwoods. And I'll take care of it for you. And I detail cars. While you gamble, your car will be being detailed. In between, I bring up comics, I go detail cars. It depends, you know, the price varies on size and Model Let me get this pizza. This is very

Great gift. It's a great gift. That's actually how I eat pizza It's one of the funniest things you've ever said to me on the phone. What's that? I told you what I was doing You got hey, don't fucking you don't do don't do gigs with your friends Maybe I was telling you about writing that pilot you go go have a I don't do, don't do gigs with your friends when you're still on your belt riding that pilot. You go, go have a, I don't know, go out, go socialize with your friends. Don't work on things that are going to pull you apart. Go have some pizza. Ah, fuck, now I'm thinking of pizza. What you said in one breath of a workout.

I'm sad that Lewis had to leave early because I would like to have hugged it out with him before he left. Kelly, you get hit by a train. Can I say something? Here's a problem with life. Don't say that. I actually didn't have a problem. I didn it by train can I say something here's a problem with life to the peep peep peep actually never problem i don't think i have a problem

hang on the uh... great jim surpico uh... zero on the yk wd show live mister surpico i got why uh... uh... you know you're following about the special on june seventeen that you're uh... uh... you know you're calling about the special on june seventeen that you're uh... producing

uh... yes ronnie i'm calling about the special very excited not special are you ready uh... i will be ready i got two weeks so i'll be really isn't going to be i mean lord knows i'm doing this hour for a long time i'll be ready as I'm gonna be. I mean Lord knows I'm been doing this hour for a long time. I should be ready Well, you didn't have to say that you're also my manager

Where are you in LA All right, I'll cry in a little bit everybody say goodbye to you. Goodbye. I'm going over the top All right, don't ever do that again. Okay. Ever I'm not that Kelly. Here's a deal with you. Yes, you know, you say you finally stick up for yourself Yeah, whether you're right or wrong. Yeah, I mean you stick it up for yourself Mm-hmm, and then you feel like shit after so you either you're either gonna fucking put your foot down Mm-hmm and be you and stick up after. So you're either gonna fucking put your foot down and be you and stick up for yourself

and deal with the consequences, which people might not like you or be mad at you who you used to like and move the fuck on. Or you don't get to just hug it out every time. That doesn't solve things. Sometimes eliminating somebody, better as things. Yeah, well, you've been reading their iTunes review of this podcast.

So, well, it's just a natural thing in my heart, where I don't want, I, yeah, I mean, who doesn't want anyone, I don't want no one wants anyone to hype them or to hide other things. Kelly, you want everyone to love you. That's one of your problems.

Yeah, it's a huge problem, but I don't want... Well, every comedian has that problem. Yeah, but it's a problem. I have that problem. As much as Lewis is a big shit and he made issues. You bet, man. The last thing I want is to have an enemy. And this is in career thing, this is like healthy,

hard stuff. I hate grudges. I don't want to have grudges. Nobody wants a fucking grudge, but you know what? Sometimes you got to have a fucking grudge. Because if you don't, then you're people pleasing. And if you're people pleasing all the fucking time,

you're not being true to yourself. I'm not saying I'm pleased here. You're right, Bob, you're very handsome. What? It's a do right and you're very handsome. Oh, thanks. I'm pleased, Lewis, we fought all the time. See, it worked.

No, if this was a prison yard, you're holding Lewis's pocket. You gotta stab him in his sleep. You gotta go after that. Mm-hmm. I'm not saying, look, everybody here, it's surprising that everybody here, as soon as you guys started going at it, we were happy

because you were kinda letting it out. It was coming out, and you weren't just taking it, you were sticking out for yourself, and Lewis had some shit to say, that was pretty harsh, but you were getting it out instead of us hearing it, instead of us having to deal with it. You know, have you bought it because I feel like I had sort of been carrying the podcast through most of it.

So it's nice to sort of take a break. And I agree. Probably the left and the moon. That's what you look great. It's more of that. I mean, it opened up a big thing. Well, it opened up a little bit, but I mean, there's stuff there, but I mean, look, you guys, here's the thing that the, even the fans of this podcast don't understand,

is it's a brother, sister type, it's a family type of fuck you. I mean, I don't care what you say. Look, Scopo pissed me the fuck off. He, you know, he fucking fucked up this week, did some stupid shit, but when it comes down to it, you know, how's in the right place? Well, no, it's not. He's an idiot.

It's fucking hard as where his brain should be. Fucking dumb, dumb. But, you know, it's, you live in the fuck learn, you move the fuck on, nobody's gonna lose a birthday, nobody's, nobody's gonna get into a fight, nobody's gonna hurt somebody really, and you know, you're gonna get your toe stepped on. We're all emotional.

Look, I'm fucking, I'm very emotional. I'm very sensitive. I get, I don't give a shit, I'll admit that. I wear my heart on my sleeve. Some people say shit on this show that hurts sometimes. All the fucking time it happens. I take poundings on this show. I take shit from fans from this show.

I get it, but you know, I'm a sentimental asshole when it comes down to it. But, you know, we're, I think comics, we have a bond to each other that, you know, that we understand, you know, and you can get it out. You can have somebody not like you for a week or two or years and it can come around. I've had it, you know, and sometimes it's better.

I told, I don't know, one of you guys I was telling, I was having a problem. I remember when I got out of rehab, I moved back with my mother and stepped at, and it wasn't working. It was, I'm sober, going A meetings every night, and I'm still fighting with my mother, like I was drinking.

And I was talking about this in an A A meeting, and this guy, I sort of hit a fucking chain around his neck. Well, it was big fucking chain. Yeah, like a big chain around his neck with a padlock and he walked up and at the end of the minute he stuck a match book in front of my face. He goes, read it. I was like, oh shit. He goes, read it. I go, I can't. He goes, why? It's too close. Exactly. You're too close. Get out of there, move out of your family's house. You're too close to him, all right? That was like, okay. You're so wise, I'm insane.

Don't let them in. I just made that up on the fly. I don't know. I actually wanted you to read the matches. That's where all my demons live. No, but sometimes you get too close. In this podcast, every week we're around each other, we do a lot of things together.

You're at shows every night with these fucking assholes You're gonna step on each house. Look at look at he fucking bugs me too But you know what when it comes down to it his heart is in the right place. Yeah, I think I got disappointed Because I was like I early on a lot on Here's a deal. He goes take whatever he gets to here, but here's he takes it last week You don't tell and tights it's liketruck. And Tyson, you're the point where puts other people out, which is why we fight a lot of them. But here's the thing though, you,

do you believe it? You know what I'm saying? If you call me unfunny, I'm gonna tell you to go fuck yourself. Cause I'm funny, okay? If you're not gonna get me on that, you can joke about that all day. Look at Joe's face.

Joe say something. It's a podcast. The thing is, I get it. I don't wanna drag on this too long, but I get that and we spoke about this. But what I spoke to him privately, what I pulled him aside was that, I get it, make jokes, Joe makes jokes.

When Joe does it, Joe's funny when he does it, Dan does it, whatever. But when Lewis, I get a funny, when Lewis, when Lewis would do it, Lewis would do it in a green room in front of bookers in front of other big companies. This is stuff that he's just said, and here's the deal, that's why.

He's not here, I'm not gonna talk about this because he's not here to defend himself. But this is shit you should say. That's a shit that's, that's some fun. Look, I don't give a fuck, I was supporting me. I will support you fucking assholes No matter what two fans are the people. I will never not get somebody to go see you Or think you're the fucking shit to me. I don't give a shit if I don't if you piss me off if I'm mad at you

This people I don't like in this business. I don't talk to I Don't fucking acknowledge at all in my life anymore. I still will not tell people Yeah, fucking funny go check them out hilarious cuz there you go. That's just it. There's a certain code We have as comedians that you know, we have to protect each other because we're what we'll go in in front of the Fucking in front of a bunch of people every night because we're going in front of the fucking, in front of a bunch of people every night, we're trying, as soon as you make it, they wanna take it away from you.

As soon as you make it, they wanna take it back. That's the way this business works. So everybody in this room is struggling to fucking get there. And once you get there, it's being taken away. Slowly, it's gonna be ripped away. So, I mean, there you go. It's a more important thing in comedy, it's being taken away. Slowly, it's gonna be ripped away. So, I mean, there you go. It's the most important thing in comedy,

is other comedians. Yeah, us, helping each other out. I mean, Joe Liss taught me that, absolutely. Joe Liss, one of the first things that, when we were out drinking, when the first time we were hung out, he said, no other, no one will get you more work in this business than other comedians.

Absolutely. That's it. Also, I feel like it's an old, it's the best ability, but it's an old fashioned one because I'll comics now It was funny Barbie, but I know you love me, so it's okay, but the problem is I think a lot of comics new comics like four years under I know I really want to get this out. I don't want it to be I know you do. Go ahead stupid a lot of comics now Don't have that same sensibility where they're just like you know what me and me only a lot of Listen, that's that's the way comics are comics are sociopaths, okay? It's all about okay, but here's a deal is that if you look even look at what I did in the last fucking month Louis Amy

Dennis, you had sex with Amy. Yes, and Dennis. I heard you don't know Louis And here's a thing though. we all help each other out. That's just it, that's fucking it. Okay, and it's what you do. And yes, we're crazy, yes, we're fucking nuts. We're all fucking nuts. Even the, that's why, you know, I always hated meeting people, comics that I admired,

because I know I'm not gonna like them. In some way, it's gonna make, ah, this guy's a fucking dildo. You know what I mean? This girl's thanks. But you have to accept it, accept it. I'm in some way, it's gonna make, oh this guy's a fucking dildo. You know what I mean, this girl thinks, but you have to accept it, accept it. And that's it. Lewis is Lewis. Scopo's gonna be late.

Doesn't matter if I say Scopo, I need you, I got it. He's calling me, he called me, said the party. I need you there, court, yep. He calls me at, you party. I need you there court. Yep. He calls me at I you know at the time We supposed to be there five minutes away. Um 15 minutes away. Oh What are you gonna do at least it's not 45 minutes? It's really little three and a half hours. I think it's there

Yeah, what time are you supposed to be there? 50 Oh, 45 Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's 22 minutes to you and me Little graphic Look it I got 22 Joe is a fucking stooge A what? You're talking about Yeah, you're a pop spam

I know Joe's gonna walk over to me and go do it I'm gonna, hamburger, hamburger I told Don, I go, we've been havingurgers for this asshole because last time we did a party He was like not to oil and I had this I'm gonna fucking kill you because it was 45 hamburgers left I wanted three I was given to I did go out and get more coke for Joe Yeah, but you that one coke was for you I too to I made sure I took care of you joke one coke I so anyway, see you later. You got to go. I got to go. I crack it up. Where you going? Dance order com crack it up a new thing. I don't like it crack it up. I don't like it going your old thing

All right, what do you got? Crack it up. Can I gotta go crack it up? I love you buddy. Bye, Danny. Bye, Danny. We love you, Danny. Thanks, buddy. I'll see you later. All right, listen, guys.

This is a crazy show. Great show. Yeah, great show. Great show. It's a great show. I'm a hot one. I had a blast. Good, man.

It must be, I know it's hard to come in here, especially when I have all the regulars in. Yeah. Because it's, I always do Legion of Skanks and Lewis. I'm kind of used to it at this. Oh Legion of Skanks and Lewis I'm kind of used to it. Oh really? Yeah. So I'm coming out. I was like, here we go. Yeah. Why do you have same problem Kelly has with it? No, no, I just you know, I know him and I love him. No, he's a man. Yeah. Yes. You got to get rid of not even worry about

dick skin. Have no skin. Let it roll right off. Who cares? Really? That's what I think. You can't let that shit bother you. I said it bothered me. He was the one who, it didn't bother me. He was the one who started it, because he was like, what are you telling him crying? I'm crying. Fuck you, you cry more than me.

And that's how it started. That was the same thing. You don't slam him. You gotta go Adam. He talks very, very louder. It doesn't matter. He speaks so loud. And it bothered me.

It's a constant thing. Can I say something? You don't understand this, but the actually, the microphones, when you talk into them, the loudest person actually picks up, so if you're louder than him, it picks up on the mics. Yes. Yeah, but it's just, yeah.

And that's a bullshit excuse too. I mean, I know, look it. It's, you guys just fight like brothers and sisters, man. That's it. Yeah. You guys are like, I mean, not related. Like you're the, like black people yeah where you going it's just you can sit and dance here why don't you take Dancy put that mic down put that

mic down sit at the end he'll be a darling there we go um anyways anyway anyway so I'm glad you enjoyed the pizza we got up for you I love it I love it I'm gonna put it right here yeah she's pretty cool I'm gonna put it up, so I'm glad you enjoyed the pizza. We got it for you. I love it. I love it I'm gonna put it right here. Yeah, she's pretty cool. I'm gonna put it up here So I want this up here. Yeah, right there. I got a video of us playing the game But it's actually really boring. Well, there you go Which one was it was the clown one with the piece of the water pistol? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm still in I think I think the Main thing in life one of the things that I've learned to do is acceptance You know, I'm sick of be I'm a fucking angry guy the last couple of years.

Really? I'll be honest. I've been a very angry guy and being a sensitive angry guy is a fucking terrible thing. I'm with you a million percent. I deal with that all the time. Yeah. So, I mean, you know, angry and impatient, sensitive, anxiety. It's a fucking terrible thing. I think it's living living here I think feeds it. It's living here, but it's also look at who I am. It's you know I I'm I that's from my childhood. That's from who I was You know, that's why I love I love my kid because my kid doesn't have any of that my kid is loved. He's confident He you know that what happened to me in a couple years

with this, you know, I got hit and all the shit and all the bullshit, so I know that he's not gonna go through that, so he has every shot to have self-esteem and confidence and learn how to make decisions and be who he is, you know. But, you know, it's a hard thing, especially to be in this business, to have the ego we have to have.

And it's a fucking ego. You have to have an ego in confidence, to be able to go on stage in the shittiest of venues, in the best of venues, after the shittiest comics, after the best comedians, and fucking whale it out, and pull it out, and get better and better and better. So, and then, you know, we fuck with each other. And now with the social media, I blocked five people yesterday.

I mean, yeah, I don't like people talk through me. Like someone who talks through me and to another comic, a friend of mine, it's like, go fuck yourself. Oh, with your name and the thing. Yeah, and I don't like you're gone for that. And if you don't follow me, if you're trashing me and you don't follow me, you don't get to trash me. Oh yeah, that makes fucking sense.

Yeah, fuck you, you don't get to trash me. But you know, this guy's, I unfollowed the guy, I say, but I was like, you know what, I was like, he was on a tear. He was at the end of the tear. So I fucking, I actually unblocked him. This Ortiz guy, oh the fuck it was. He said some hard shit.

And then I tell him, I found out he was an artist. I go, once you go draw a dick and fuck yourself. Then he wrote back, I love you Bobby. So it's a guy, I'm cool. No, but I look, I'm a very fucking sensitive guy. I'm sensitive. I'm sorry that I'm a very fucking sensitive guy. I'm sensitive. I'm sorry that I'm a comedian and my feelings get hurt. But here's the other thing.

I also heard people's feelings for a living. You have a lot of guilt. Do you feel a lot of anxiety from guilt? No, no. No, I don't feel guilt. That's a big part. I don't feel guilty about it. But you have to learn to accept.

Here's the problem. Accepting people sucks., you have to learn to accept. Here's a problem, accepting people sucks, because you want people not to fail you. You want people to do what they say they're going to do, or you want people to just act right, or what you think is right. You're better at expectation when people, that's, you know, that's never going to work. You didn't find the old and you got the less of a shit you gave about what people thought about you. I used to be way more sensitive than I am now. Absolutely, but I'm still, I still, uh, in common, I still try to control people or try to get people to do what I want them. And they're not going to do it. They're just not, you know, it's not, you know, it's not, if they learn, they learn, if they don't, they don't.

You can't make somebody be what you want them to be. Right. You just can't make somebody be what you want them to be right you just can't right It's just you have to go up that's them and if I'm going to deal with that person I'm gonna have to probably deal with this too or whatever that is you know what I mean? That's it like Joe y'all that shit out of my kids birthday party that really bothered me but not but no but here's a thing I it's Joe I know Joe, that's what he does. I love Joe. So there you go.

I've done it. Get a bit of life at the party. It's over. He takes good with the band. I'm sensitive because I love my kid. I can't believe I have a kid. And here's this moment. I can't believe that I'm a year in.

And I'm walking out with my son and he was singing happy birthday to him in front of him. And then my family's there. And you know, and I, oh my God, I fucking, I can't believe I made this. And then Joe selfishly thinks of himself. I thought it ever happened. I thought it was a lie. And a great, yeah, to get focus on you.

And you know what I mean? And he took the focus away from my son and put it on him on a joke for that second. You know, that hurt. I hear you. But what am I gonna do? That's Joe, he's disconnected. That's how he connects.

That's how you connect. That's how you connect. I was trying to make everyone some enjoyment. Joe, I brought everyone but you enjoyment. And my wife, my wife was sad too. She saw the video, she got very sad. She's like, you know, in the birthday, Joe. Because we've been keeping this video documentary like documenting his life

And that was like the climax of the year when we walk out and Joe Joe I was like we were watching it. I was like, ah shit. No, I was saying she was It's like watching citizen canons. I got I go. I'll try to take it out. She's like now forget it. Whatever Maybe you look back and guy remember Joe Yeah, you know you should do you should throw a party for the kid like a re-party like I was like a We do it. Yeah, we redo last no, we redo without Joe. Yeah I'm kidding Your mouth is full of burger you couldn't have said it

No, but listen of course he did that but that's Joe. That's fucking Joe I'm not gonna fucking hate Joe hilarious. Yeah, very funny. Yeah, very funny Yeah, it's overwhelming how great people have been like even since I got here Just I reach out to people for help, you know like some trying to figure out what rooms what you know I've talked to Sean Joe Norman Dan Everybody's been a big help. Yeah, a lot of people are timid overwhelming. Very scared of you. Look, if they don't help you, you're gonna hurt me.

Absolutely. Anyways, look at man, Cali, you gotta work that shit out. Hopefully you do. I'm sorry. And you know what, if you don't, who gets a fuck? I used to care a lot more because I was like, but we have to be, and I'm like, well, if we're not, I guess we're not, like I would rather be,

but if we're not, we're not, you know. Yeah, you want you to take your expectations off of somebody, then you can be, it doesn't matter. Yeah, I would imagine Lewis is the kind of guy if he hates you, he won't give you the time of day. So that's love, you know, in an odd way. People love in a weird way sometimes, you know? I mean, if he didn't like it, be like,

he doesn't have had a handle made, because I'm, well, I think he doesn't have a handle made because he doesn't know how to work. What about'm well think he doesn't know how to handle me because he doesn't know how to work It's a big one of you guys worked your shit out. Well, we're fine. Yeah, we're good We had a hug we had a hug on Sunday. You're like the puck of this What about old fucking river Adrian? I mean how do you feel about Adrian? Adrian loves me. Yeah Adrian doesn't really know you yet. What did you say, Adrian? Come over here, sit down.

Everybody, this is Adrian. Ah, Adrian. Hello, Adrian. Adrian's in intent from 09. I'd bend the microphone, you jackass. No, bend it so it, you don't have to, yeah, you know. Like look, let me do my hands. You two hands, two hands.

I did the same thing the last time I was here. I got yelled at for you. Yeah. Good now. Get off your phone, you cocks. No, no, no, no. You're looking at your dicks. We're wrapping up very quickly.

We're going to say hi to Adrian. Adrian, how you doing? Not bad, really. Are you a fan of Adrian, the what is his title? Well, he's, he's an intern with, oh, and I, and he just wanted to come and hang out with us for a while and see what's going on. Fantastic job. He's great.

You're fucking amazing. Awesome, mate. If I never had Scopo, I would fucking move you right in He might move me. You might fucking bump me soon. I would fucking move you the fuck right in there Yeah, he's a good kid. Oh my god, but you're leaving when what's that one? You leaving the show? I was a planner on leaving anytime soon. Oh good. Yeah, there you go. Scopo. You're gonna go on weird box You take the train to I'd have to worry about you getting put, get me in late.

Yeah. You're always on time. Do you not, you're not a produce? What's that? Like a video thing. Nah, yeah, that's what I'm here learning. All right, so you're gonna show them that next week? Next week you're on the next week.

Next week you're on this. You're sitting, you're gonna sit next to me. My time is coming to an end, it looks like. Bobby, he's actually, every time I meet him, he's earlier than I am. wally pipa early like he takes I come straight down from oh and I It doesn't matter like he said what time do you get up this morning three three forty five. Yeah Kelly is pumping up Adrian So she can get me out of here Kelly brought you in Kelly did bring me and she's pushing me out. No, well. I'm pushing you

I'm pushing yourself out you fucking forget me not No, well I'm pushing you know you're pushing yourself out you fucking forget me not Like throw grammar hats. It's like they got already exact. Yeah, they should battle it out All right listen, we're gonna wrap this up cuz this show really dropped off since Lewis and Dan left And I was tell by fucking when Joe's one eye his smaller eyes starts closing well I feel sad now Sorry the birthday thing I Joe me in my wife the best joke day me and my wife didn't watch the video my wife did not we don't have a video documentary

Holy shit, I believed you That was a real no, no, no, no, I'm sorry Joe. We did We didn't have a father if you hear that died that I showed you catch my baby. I will show it to you Yeah, that's when you're not a guy Didn't make me sad. No, we didn't we didn't have you find Joe you find it It's actually a funny video because I'm walking out and I go shut you say you joking I go shut the fuck up stop cock blocking my side. You say cock in the middle of I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, FTA maybe leave Joe. I don't have the show on your note guys. Thank you so much for coming down Thanks bro. I'll actually this weekend. I don't know if it'll come out before that comes out in the ninth

Okay, just I have a podcast my dumb friends on all things comedy network. Yeah, I with Dan Saintramane You know, Dan Saintramane. I do he's I love Danny's great. It's great. We had him on the show I think Dan's actually coming in next week awesome. All right so yeah just look that up and then I'll uh yeah I've a website Sean Donnelly comedy.com yeah thanks coming back on dude thank you appreciate it brother two ends two L's two ends two L's DO and then ELL what do you got Mike at Mike Fenoya and I run a good show at the stand on a 22nd of June come check that out and I run a good show at the stand on a 20 second of June. Come check that out. And I'm going to be headlining Brueha and Hartford on Fourth of July weekend.

I love that. And one of the best. This is yeah. Yeah. Thank you very much. You got a back on. Just my podcast Tuesdays with stories. I think a lot of you are listening. If you're not, if you're lucky, give it a try. It's a fun show Tuesday's was a very fun show We do a lot listen to it's and it's picking up why wouldn't I know how it picks up from six million but go ahead

It's it's it's picking what do you have really I have millions stop looking dude. It's millions. Is that many? Yeah, it's a lot. It's millions. It is a lot. He's paying his bills with it. A lot of stuff. Yeah, stamps.coms are all over him. It is a lot. So check it out. Tuesdays with stories. If you enjoy the show, tell a friend for God's sakes and I'd love you and don't be mean to be on Twitter, it hurts my feelings. Yeah, stop being mean. Can you miss? Can you just stop being mean to people? Yeah, yeah. Oh, I'm on Twitter too. At Shoney time. Can I say that? Yeah, you say whatever you want. Yeah, right. At Shoney time time. Hey Adrian. Do you have anything? No great What that's the intern I want you'll be working here for nothing I got own a and does it fucking great

I'm glad to have you buddy next week. You're on the video. All right. I'm ready to teach him scopo Yeah, I'll teach him right after this show actually if you want no next week. I want him on He's gonna teach him tonight after this show tonight. Okay. All right, go ahead. All right, Scopo, what do you got? I'll just be with Louis, 28th at Lodilive, and the second, I think it's at Comments at Foxwoods. He's taking me out at Chris Copo. Yeah, make sure you follow Chris. He's got less followers than Kelly.

Got a lot less followers than Kelly. Pretty funny on Twitter though. I got. Yeah. Yeah. What do you guys do? What do you think uh... i'm going to be in canada get on uh... twenty fourth and then

statin island on the twenty seventh and i'm just got a calisah to go to calm to find out the uh... times places blah blah blah mister is like a dominating canada and that's a big one i would have i got Chris uh... bobby was at off the hook on the club killed it uh... the june twelve thirteen fourteen they're going to be at the punchline and san francis uh... the seventeenth of june you're taping your special at the

comedy seller the village underground tickets for that right now you know the comedy seller dot com special events all the pop-down menu uh... very very small amount tickets being sold. I think 150 a show to 175. It's gonna be very intimate. So if you're gonna go, get your fucking tickets now. So comedyseller.com June 17th, two shows, a seven and a 930 show. So make sure you get them.

Of course, Jim Cerebrico,co the great Jim Cerberco is producing it Bobcat Gulfway is directing it We it's gonna be and of course gnome is we're using the World-famous village underground comedy club to To film it so it's gonna be great. I'm very excited about this So make sure you check me out at the punchline in San Francisco, one of my favorite clubs in the world. And then that Tuesday when I come back filming my one hour special, you guys are what's up?

It's a more for you. The 20th, 21st, 22nd, you're at the Underground Comedy Club in Toronto. And then the 31st, you're at the Comedy Works in Denver. Oh, Comedy Works. Love it. I'm working on a bunch of great clubs, I'm very happy. So make sure you follow me on Twitter, follow the podcast, YKWD podcast at YKWD podcast. Hit us up on Facebook, go to ryecast.com. You guys are the best fans in the fucking world.

Thank you for spreading the word, the word of the YK. I think I just shit my pants. Dude, podcast. con volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca, espectacularismos, numentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desesperan. ¡Friparás! Vuelas desde Madrid a Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com.