Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Dan Soder "Big Jay Culterson"

Episode Date: March 15, 2021

This week Dan Soder returns to talk Wild Wild Country, what cult life may be like, and what type of cult the comedy community would produce! SUBSCRIBE TO YKWD https://www.patreon.com/robertkelly https://thelaughbutton.podlink.to/YKWD​ http://www.ykwdpodcast.com FOLLOW YKWD http://www.twitter.com/YKWDpodcast http://www.instagram.com/ykwdudepodcast http://www.facebook.com/YkwdPodcast FOLLOW ROBERT KELLY http://www.twitter.com/robertkelly http://www.instagram.com/robertkellylive http://www.facebook.com/robertkellylive New episodes arrive every Sunday via The Laugh Button For advertising opportunities email: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Pluto TV es el servicio de streaming gratuito con series como South Park o sensación de vivir. Descarga ya la aplicación en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. these back again. Hope's going back to the day where it all started before them all. I think the white team died. This podcast is so fun and crazy and has no rules. He's got a lot of people ruining this. First of all, I'm glad I'm here. I'm sorry. It's comedy podcast.

This is an NPR. That's what the podcast does. Is there any better show? This is the original original. Well, what's going on, everybody? This is Robert Kelly, the fucking dude. You know what, dude? We're back again. I want to welcome all the new Patreon members.

You might be here for a minute. You might be here for life, but I want to say hello to all you. But thanks for coming in for a slice, dude. Thanks for coming in. Man of the rain for a slice of funny, dude. And how you doing, then, Megabob, 777? Today's show is brought to you by very very cool sponsors bear mountain maple farms the best goddamn syrup on the planet. I

use it on pancakes Sunday every Sunday. They are organic wood fired 100% pure new Hampshire maple syrup. Go to bear mountain maple dot com. That's the only place you get your syrup. If you like pancakes, don't mess around with all that. Crack, I didn't know there was difference between Anchor Mima and Real Maple Syrup. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

pump the brakes, bro. Hey, oh, great, bro. Well, well, I'm gonna give us all canceled. I don't wanna hear your ideas about what happened to Anchor Mima. Yeah, do you know Canadians and people from Vermont know all about syrup? They're from the hands of your cell.

My response is from me. Next time I go with log cabin. You know, it's so funny. So I thought I was mailing it. And then just a completely butt fuck that or even be like, well, maybe she got a Vermont. I'm just going to double down. And of course, we're sponsored by tiny homes of Maine. If you guys are gonna, you know,

if you're sick of being a guest and you can't afford a fucking mansion, there are big houses or even a pre-made house. Go tiny, go tiny. Get a little swap of land somewhere and call tiny homes of Maine and they will hook you up, customize what you want. They're great for offices, they're great for families, and go tiny. Tiny homes of Maine. I love them. I can't wait for the summer,

baby. Do you have a tiny home? Dude, I got to watch a making an announcement in a few weeks when things are righteous and I'll be very excited to do so. So anyways, tiny homes of Maine, check them out. Spongebob, the show today, along with our other sponsor that will be in the, that's coming up very soon. I am so excited. First of all, last week's episode with Anthony Cumia and Dave LaMdau, as some people say. You were like, you were like when Oprah brought the crypts and the bloods together. You had him tie a bandana together and they're like, we're not gonna hurt our community anymore.

Well, here's the thing, man. I love Anthony, of course, and I just love Dave. I know they're great guys. Usually everybody, you know, we want to see that argument. Anthony of course and I just love Dave. I know they're great guys. Yeah, usually everybody you know, everybody wants to see that argument. Everybody wants to see the fight. Everybody wants to see blood. They want an accident on the side of the road. They want hatred and fucking scorned you. It's like it's stupid. It's dumb. And I didn't want to set them up on my show to kind of go. I was like, listen, you guys want to talk and

Then Dave was like, I'll do it. So I I had him on it was great. It was fucking it was a feel good story Did you book him at the same time or did I Do reveal I Wanted them both on but when I found it would happen. I didn't know what happened. I had talked to Dave and I was like, look, I would love to have you on. I'll ask Anthony. If Anthony's coming on, if Anthony's cool,

you come right on. If he's not, I'm not setting them up. I know that would be fucking epic. You know, it's fucking, it's definitely what Lewis would do. Also, if you're gonna set up Anthony no offense to Dave You're not gonna do it with Opie like what do you talk about? That would be great, but I'd be like listen. I have your Colossed and just hope he comes on

It'd be even better if it was the black lady that Anthony was taking pictures of I'm not the fuck the hell you been! Oh my God, I'm gonna tell you! Oh my God, I'm gonna tell you! Oh my God, I'm so funny. It's so funny to me that if you look back on, I've been looking back on Open Anthony and the virus and how epic that was, how epic that tour was. I mean, me and everybody else on that show,

we were rock stars and we look at, we look at Bert and all these guys now. We were just rock stars before social media. Because if that shit took place now, we'd be all fucking rolling up in our Teslas and fucking mansions and we'd have all kinds of shit too. We just be, we popped like Earl, and you know, like, remember baseball players didn't get paid shit.

The football players didn't get the football players. Football players used to have jobs in the off season. You still have to go like sell cattle. That's me and Voss. That's me, that's us. It's all Voss's like, yeah, I just filled out a tie, a tie a amphitheater. Also, I'll be doing rascals.

Yeah, that's me. Voss, me and Voss are like Gilligan's Island before they had like before they had good contracts through SAG. Uh, and you know what I mean? We didn't get any money on the back end. The virus tour is something that legitimately, I think, as a young comic, I would be afraid of, because I just remember hearing stories listening to Opie and Anthony about,

didn't like Mike Berbiglia have to be carried off the stage because they were booing him? Yeah, it was. He got us. Dude, Mike BerBiglia. Who I love, oh, very nice guy. All right, I know, because he's in the show. I mean, check the name, dude. Check the fucking name on the podcast, bro. What's the name?

What's the name? Corporate name. Corporate Dan is here. And that's why you have your little nose thing on, because you gotta get the better. I just wanna say, dude, I have to get in the character. It starts right now. No, dude. I grew up loving Neal Smith the defensive end for the chiefs and the Denver Broncos and he used to wear these nasal strips and I was like these are so stupid

And then I just learned recently that I have severe blockage in my nose and probably have for years Right, so I ordered them and they just came from Amazon and I told Katie, I'm like, I'm throwing a little on and I'm doing you know what dude. And I'm breathing incredibly. Breathe in good. Oh my God. Breathe in good. It's great.

If it changed your voice and you lost your career because it was blocked up in my nose. It's just irritating shrill voice now. Oh, looks like this. I know. Anyway, back to Bermiglia getting the hook. Yeah, we all like Mike Bermiglia. Go ahead and say it again. I just want to say I look forward to running into them later in the future when I can

breathe properly through my nose. I'll have a nose job and look all weird. I'll get, I look forward to running into them later in the future when I can breathe properly through my nose. I'll have a nose job and look all weird. I'll get I'll become obsessed with it. He uh yeah no he took it. But here's the thing he went out into the crowd. He and he I I I'm pretty sure. Who? No, it was such a hot one that he went out into the crowd and asked them to He was asking them questions like oh something like why do you think I stay or something? He put some weird fucking on bombing move. He tried to get all tea with a crowd that didn't like them

Yeah, it was it was a tough. What was the worst bomb you saw in the virus tour? Wow, who took the who took the toughest one because Cause Burr has the Fili Flipp. The head, the bear has a Fili Flipp, which was great, but that was really going bad. I would say the most interesting bomb was Carlos Mancilla because they went out. They weren't ready for it. They went out. They weren't ready for it. Nope. They fucking will they were like fuck you. We're on your own side you piece of shit and that guy used his comic ability To turn that crowd on his side. I'm talking 12,000 people going, boo! Fuck you and he would he did a technique. He would scream at them.

You fuckers want wanna fuck with me? I'm fucking cause you blood this and that. Well, that's fucking boo, but I'm fucking Mexican and that's what you wanna say. And I'm fucking, we're American. And he'd give a speech about America. I'd be like, we're all American. We say we do, we do, we say it.

And that's what America's all about. And they would be like, oh my God, there's so patriotic. Yeah, and he'd be like, and that's why fucking push his weird man. Yeah. Yeah, I'd be like, and that's why fucking push his weird man. I've never thought of the independence day speech having fucking club comedy behind it. Where he's like, today it's Independence Day for all of us. Man, you know, women really be shopping. You can't go shopping. It was a fucking epic. It was go up and then it would he'd get him and then it would slowly tip back down and he'd give a speech and then he'd fucking sell a dick joke or he'd go into a bit.

He'd get there and he'd be like stop, look over here, look over here, fuck you guys. You pussy's want to spit my mouth and look, what the fuck is he talking about? And he's like, man, it's crazy when you're married man Your wife just wants you to change You think I'm a pussy. Well, let me tell you about pussy and pussy you and it's far. It's you have a pussy Fired It was fucking epic. We're all like right, you know, we're all like this. You know what? Fuck it. He did he he should have it should have been the worst bombing of the whole tour, but he would

not let that plane crash. Was not. His comic, something inside him was like, fuck you, it ain't happening. He was, he was one of the funniest ones I saw where, when he, the only time I've been there where he showed up at the seller, it was like the fucking, it was like when I worked in a restaurant in the health department came by,

everyone was like shit, fuck, oh shit, that's scatter, scatter, fucking do stuff that like, Ben sees you show up and everyone's like, I don't know if I'm going up, is he in the room and Becky, I was, Becky on went on and he's like, I'm just gonna do stuff that I've definitely done

like Letterman, he's like saying, he's like, I'm just gonna think there's my special and then I'm like, yeah, dude. Yeah, but it was, it was a very funny energy change when men see a walk into the cell. I'm so sorry. I'm paying attention, but my wife, my wife's son, Dan Soda, she wants attention. My wife is like, she's sticking around. The door's open. The heat's going, it takes me nine hours to eat this fucking place. and you left the door because you want to Tensh if I'm Dan soda good to see you don't hope all as well She said I love Dan everybody loves Dan that's not true. That is not true. I know one Dan's dad that didn't love him

That's why I'm not comfortable home in Denver with a loving family. I'm chasing yucks with you, fucking weirdos. I, I think the worst bombing had to be, it had to be Jimmy Schubert and and what's his name? Schubert and, um, and, um, fuck, uh, Dom Arrera. Both from Philly. In the Philly. Yeah, they both, they just, I'm sorry, it just, they were from Philly.

So they're supposed to get hometown love. You're supposed to, you know what I mean? Sure, sure. It's like you're supposed to get hometown love and they fucking the Philly fans just don't give them fuck, man. Was it hot from the start? Were they like, were they the Philly fans immediately? Like did the show ever have a chance

at not being like them booing you? Every single event we did had a chance of them not being with us. Do you understand that they were partying? This event started at 10 a.m. What? What? They would pull into the parking lot and barbick, they would tailgate like a fucking bills game. Okay. And me and Voss would drive around the parking lot and Anthony, Opie and Anthony, we all in Patrice, when these golf cars are just hanging,

they'd be cooking and drinking all day. So by the time the show started, and then the show, this thing did, I felt bad for Bill because Bill had to go on after intermission, so there was this whole epic lineup of holy shit crushing. Everybody dude, everybody is trying their hardest to not die

Yeah, okay, and then they did an intermission And these were these these were amp theaters, right? These outdoor amplitators. Yeah, so there was there was I too Oh, yeah, fuck Oh, it's gonna be anxiety right now thinking about. Yeah, fucking especially in Philly. Yeah, no, that was, they were fucking crazy. And did they have to calm them down?

Did like, Oh, and A go out in between comics and be like, lie in town with a chair that like, fucking, I have, fucking, not at all. No, Jesus. No, they'd walk up like, yeah, walk up and be drinking the time we got there.

He'd be sitting there with a cop and a fucking, his check, he's the guy, and he's the guy who always had a check. You know what I mean? Yeah. Opie would just show up and then they'd go out, they'd show some video of some guy puking and another guy's mouth or some chick farting out a cake with their ass hole or you know when when good times or good times

It still sounds like the show holds up Dude could you imagine a radio show doing the shit that they did could you imagine like oh? No the stuff at being it serious now, it's like, it's just all like, it's like working at Target. You're like, we're not going to get in trouble for some stuff, but what they did, you couldn't fucking do that now. Even the old shit like that fucking, that age, yeah, what's funny now is it's like rage against the machine. And then the machine's like, here's a lot of money and you're like anyways check out Sherry's bearings for the machine. You know a show is fucked up when they have

to put curtains up inside so that they they used to just put paper up on the windows. So an intern would have to sit there and just stick paper up so that people were walking by because people would walk by and see us and look in and you'd see their faces and be like, what the fuck is that? Like what is happening? They, when they were at 92.3 K rock, when that came back and I was working overnight, they had the old Howard station, the old Howard studio and they had this fucking, you know, I mean, you were on the show, that couch,

that was a, you know, like kind of behind Anthony's chair where guests would sit. I would, I would sleep there, like Friday nights, I would go to stand up New York and I would do the check spot on the 8th and the 10th and the midnight. I'd be fucking wasted on free beer from the club. And then I would go down to West 57th Street and then go up and then push that heavy door open and just lay on that couch and sleep for like maybe three hours before my shift started at 6am. And one time I'm just mouth open, drool coming out.

And I think it was Eroch who walked in and he's like, no, it was Chismo, the other DJ that was working. He was finishing and he's like, you know, Sandy Kane sat there naked without panties like earlier this week. And I just remember getting up and being like, yeah, fuck. Yeah.

I don't know who I was but, dude, that was cool. She was my nemesis, dude, because I mean, she has a skin tag on her inner thigh, the size of a child's ear. It is, and she flicks it and like flibbles it, you know what I mean? I would throw up every time, I was exposed to so much shit, but her skin tags, she had a skin tag, I think it was above her vagina on her stomach,

it was something like that. What's your climate shield? I don't know. Richard a coach yield. I don't know. I don't know what it was, but it didn't affect these people. I think one of the funniest things ever was when, yeah, where is it? Oh, he's going to pull it up. Oh, can you pull up her sandy canes skin tag or or it might be a genital ward.

Have you ever. But here's the thing. Know this that she used to bang a lot of people back in the day. Like she was hot back in the day. Well, like she was like a groupie for rock stars. I believe she used to fuck stars. Yeah. Like back in the day. Yeah, dude, you look at Gabby 60 years from now. He's going to look like that. Yeah, you're going to be seeing.

You. I used to be on wide-cades. I'd be seeing. I'm going to be seeing., you're gonna be saying. What the fuck? What the fuck? I used to be on YKWZ. I had a only, I had an only fans that came out in 2021. I'm kidding. Happy International Women's Day, Gabby.

What are you on a yacht? You look like you're in a bedroom on a yacht. I'm in Miami and in Airbnb. You sure you're not in a bill, Murray movie? Yeah. Hey, lost in translation. What are you doing down in Miami? Are you just walking around doing yak, being, being young?

I'm just walking around drinking, living life, baby, beach. The commission. What? What? I never thought I would say this, but I miss Kelly Fistuka. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha All days Monday a holy day in wrestling fandom isn't that right? Let's get let's go let's go deep tracks on the Cali for stuka. Yeah Did you sleep with her? Stop truth for once. Listen to me. Listen to me. We were adults. We were drinking in

Galilee, and you sleep sleep with Kelly for stuka? Yes. Wow. Oh my God. And you never told me right now. Why didn't you tell me, brother? Because I knew one day you were going to be on Patreon. And I knew this would be the hot goss to drive this episode up.

Also, no, we're just told everybody on a Christmas episode already. Yeah, Bill has said it. Oh, he did a hundred years ago. How many years ago? All right. Maybe I did hear it. I didn't know that. How was it? It was very lovely.

Oh my God. you are fucking lying. I'm not dude, Kelly and I were friends and we hooked up and then it was like that weird like back to friends. It's like the episode of Shits Creek at the beginning when David slept with. But then she came on your podcast and then I was like cool. So, you watch up. I'm like early episodes you can tell me being like, all right, Lewis. Yeah.

Yeah, all right. Joe. And then when she gave Joe the crickets, remember when we were going to listen to her call me, I was like, oh, no, it's just on. Now it's on. You can't do that. All right.

That's fucking weird. Who else would be slept with Dan? What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck? Yeah, name everyone. Shut up. Gabby's mom. Ha ha ha. Gabby's brother.

Huh? What's up? Hey, I was watching this thing. I was watching this TV show about the, what the fuck was it called? It's about the Jesus cult okay the wild wild what the fuck no one don't say West where I'll fucking kill you Um, which, which streaming wild wild country it's called and it's a, it's a Netflix. All right. Jesus.

Let me fucking. It's a fucking Christ. You guys, you both would turn it against me and then I fucking say, oh yeah. Now you're both on my side. Uh, I love the document. I was about the, uh, Sri Rani-Raj-Raj-Nish. I fucked these O-Show, aka O-Show, and it was a personal assistance to Sheila. Yeah.

And they're coming, what they basically did, I believe they bought, they were in India. Things weren't going right. Yeah, there it is right there. And this Sheila girl, this woman who is basically, I mean, fucking psychotic. And I say it all the time. If you don't blink, if you don't blink, if you're talking to somebody and they're like this,

yeah, you, uh, yep. If you don't blink, you're a fucking psycho. You know what, ladies, she reminds me of, she reminds me of the crazy fucking drug dealer and cocaine cowboys, the documentary, the lady that just fucking fucked up Miami. I just said, fuck a lot, but that lady was nuts. And this, this, that lady that helped the, the Ojo was, was like that. She was just like all business. She just came in and fucking took care of shit. Well, she loved this dude. And she basically said, okay, we're going to find land. They went and found, I think 600,000 acres in farm in Oregon, Oregon.

Organs. It's Oregon. Oregon. Oregon. It was a town. The closest town was Antelope it was 40 people in the town of Antelope all the sudden One day these motherfuckers bought this farm 600,000 acres I believe and they just came in droves and they came in all wearing red more of a mull if you ask me a mull and They came in and took over this fucking town. And they interview all the people that live there. And they're like, well, one day they're just coming up the street

and just there's a lot of them. That's just what we knew. There was a lot of them that showed up and then they started pulling people in and then ended up being like some sort of fucking sex cult, wasn't it? Where he was? No, no, no, no.

They weren't a sex cult. They were just, they didn't care about sex. They, this is what they do. They basically, they go to a room and they flip the fuck out. They flip the fuck out. Nice. They sleep, yell, and dance, and fucking, whatever, whatever, they get all this, whatever they do, they do, they flip out, and they'll do it naked.

They don't care. They'll just all be naked and titties and big bush and big flopping. They do it by themselves. They do it by themselves. No, they do it together. Okay. I would have a little, I'd have a hard time going, going crazy naked in front of a lot of people. Yeah. How does it feel about your body? I'm going going crazy naked in front of a lot of people.

Yeah, I just about your body. No, Gabby, it's because I love my body. And I should only share it with people that pay the highest value. Of course, I'm fucking insecure about it. A little sparse, leaner, dancing around a ball bag bouncing as I'm screaming about something. And then I just fucking your body. Which is. Gabby just strike me as someone that would have the confidence. She was like, I'll go first. and I was fucking your party. Yeah. Bush is. Yeah. He just strike me as someone that would have the confidence.

I was like, I'll go first. This is an interpretive dance about how anxiety makes me feel. Her unshavened bush looks shavon. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you have a nice highlight. With speed Scandinavian hair. Um, but yeah, they would flip out and they stay, I mean, literally lose it

and then all of a sudden they just go at the same time and they, and they, they meditate and it's dead silent. That's what they do. They do this crazy meditation. It's, he invented it and, and so they don't, I mean, they fuck, they bang, they don't care, but it's not like they're a sex cult, right? It's not like they're the banging is because they freak out. Then they're like, no, no, they just bang, but they, that's their meditation. And I'm totally hacking this up. But is that a picture from an early, you know what, dude? a picture from an early you know what dude. Yeah, that's you and Kelly. Yeah, hey, don't worry, I'll be safe.

And then there's there's Joe and Lewis holding hands in the back. Please somebody follow shop that just make me the fucking Rajeeze. Yeah, I'll look at you. I'll look at Bob. Bob, you would make us come in and yell at each other. And then we just have to hold it. You're a cold. You're at all these. He made us it and you're gonna call me. Do it all these times.

He made me fuck and bang. Impressionable. And then Gabby and Michael just around for the years before the FBI closes you on you. I was there when it was real. I was there when you believed it, man. So they went into this, they bought, it says 80,000 acres,

but the movie they say 600, whatever, it goes up and down, but they bought this big farm and they roll in there and they just were making this utopia and they put in their own electrical thing and they put in these houses. So one day these people just see these houses and these trucks going up the street and they made this place and the government started the town tried to fuck with them and they stopped building or something

codes and horseshit so they were like oh this this Sheila bitch this not blinking check yeah was like oh yeah okay great and there was a town 19 miles away called inalogue that had 40,000 people in it. That's it And they just went and bought all the property that was up for sale Which was literally everything they went and bought the cafe and made it a vegetarian hippie place over night It gets intense in the episodes because it's like this was a I'm trying to remember details from this documentary, but I've watched so many documentaries in quarantine about people getting together for the wrong reasons.

And this is one of those ones where I'm like, man, I just if you just lived in the Pacific Northwest and all those people moved in, you would just be like, what the fuck is happening? Could you imagine being a farmer and going to your little cafe and Antelope every day and getting your little ham and eggs and your coffee and Suzy, I'll see you tomorrow. Make sure that pies fresh. I will, Gary. And the next day you go in is everybody's wearing the same color and they look like Gabby. You're fucking kill yourself. Right. you modify ask, what is this Ojo business about? You know, I should probably leave where you are living right now.

You're no longer welcome here. And he's like, you know, I understand that real quick. I just want to get something. I was coming down here to get a coffee and now y'all. What? It's some confused farmer. I definitely showed up late to that. You know, like, well But we yell in a room.

He's like, yeah, that's what I do every night with my wife. I don't understand. Be a hitter? Be a hitter? He get naked, you chase her around the house, and if you're lucky, you get to work. And if you don't, well, you wake up with the sun. Why are y'all fucking yell praying?

I don't know. Do those? I thought it was, can you bring up on them the way they meditate, see if you find a little clip. It's pretty, it's pretty, fuck, I don't want to try it. I actually do want to try it. I'm trying to remember, I'm trying to remember if it's sillier than when people speak in tongues, because that's the sill.

It's just as, it's probably more silly because everybody's doing it in the room. And they're naked. And they're naked and they're fucking flailing around. Yeah. Sometimes those people that speak in tongues, hold snakes while they do it. That shit's fucking for real. That's cool.

And you know, it's not cool, Miami. It's fucking cool. Hung by a stingray. It's not cool. Snakes aren't cool. Don't. Snakes are't cool. Don't. A snakes are fucking cool. Oh, shut up. Stop trying to fuck Dan. I'm not trying to fuck Dan. He's already fucked Kelly Fistuka. He's had enough. I feel like

I feel like if someone asked me to dance naked in the meditate right now, I do it. Do it. Do it right now. Tonight. if I got, if I got a text tonight, there was like, there's a fucking medication that they'd go out. All right, here, this is it with clothes on, but yeah, mush is gonna, they're gonna do it and they're, because this is it now. Ah!

Ah! Ah! That's me with bags. Oh, freeze, red light. Yeah, is they jam. Mush, why do you keep stopping it? Yeah, you do it. And I fucking DJ screw in this. Yeah, what are you doing? Stop. Are you on? I didn't say stop once and stored stop never

came out of my mouth. Oh, and dad said we just got he said stop it. Sorry. Well, I'm the guy you listen to not damn. I wasn't even saying that they were fucking in place. I was picking a choke. He goes and already emotionally wounded. I've become in victims of the gurus. Yeah, this is what they do, dude. Rajni Shes, one of India's, oh, look at those eyes. He looks like a deep room. You gotta get to your very deep room. I got you a one way bus ticket for the rest of the world's of West state of roles, Royces. You'll go back, go back.

He had, I believe he had 19 roles, Royces. Why? He had maybe more than that, but he had 19 when he showed up at this farm, 19 roles, Roy, that was his thing. He, he, I can kind of relate to him because he would buy, like he would see movie stars have watches or Certain things and he would want them. So he has like a lot of times you'll see him with like a diamond watch

Just blinging on his wrist and he prays and uh Was this supposed to be a thing where they I'm trying to remember if they knew that he was above them or if he was telling them though We're all the same kind of bullshit forget which kind of cult this is oh that he was above them or if he was telling them, though, we're all the same kind of bullshit. I forget which kind of cult this is. Oh, he was definitely above them. Okay. So they knew like he's he taught daddy. He gets to a gold watch.

He traveled with a chair. Did you see the Bickroom? It wasn't. It wasn't like a throne. It was just like a chair. You'd get at Raymore and Flanagan's. You know, I know. Yes. I remember now what you're talking about, where they would set him up, where he'd be It was just like a chair you'd get at Raymore and Flanagan's Yes, I remember now what you're talking about with their set him up where he'd be like a lazy boy in front of all these people that were kneeling

Yeah, like he it wasn't like a throne. It was just a really cool-looking disco chair You go somewhere just kicking back on stage or is like you guys get it. I'm gonna zonk out for about ten con Bolotea. La región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, numentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desperan. ¡Friparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Bolotea. Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. I want to tell you about a amazing company that me and my wife found. We've been going in the Hampshire for the last 30 years, vacationing. And we love it up there. We've been renting and we've been a guest.

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It's like, we've got 10,000 BTU's, just fucking cool in them from behind. He's like, I love, I love what Cole leaders do that. They just make their followers shit. And then they're like, but I'm living high on the hog because I'm your savior. So yeah, but at some point, this guy would, he went somewhere and they just, he just got like a, a fucking wool cap. Like he usually had as his thing. But then at some point, he just got a hat, like a wool cap look like a, you know, like a 49ers cap. I'm cool.

He just added on. It was funny, but dude, the big room yoga guy, I love that because he would just go up behind a chick and just bury his, just bury his junk into her butt. And he'd be like, oh, you're, be like, oh, you're stretching out real good. But because it's, if you put a Midwestern white guy's voice on the shit that he was saying to those women in a younger class, very problematic.

You need that, you need that Eastern charm to get away with it. You're like, you're like, oh, you got a pressure, it's deep in your hips, and they're like, uh-huh, but if it's a white guy, oh, yeah, that pressure's real deep in your hips and they're like, uh-huh, but if it's a white guy, you're like, oh yeah, that pressure's real deep in your hips. And like, he's like, oh, he's like, are you in a so-

Yeah, that's so true, dude. You add an Indian accent to stuff in spiritual areas. Oh my God, yeah, dude, this guy, look at this. Oh, yeah. He's got, I make this joke a lot, but he definitely has Chris Jericho chest. He's got this. He's got this. Guys, we're taking open hands, I make this joke a lot, but he definitely has Chris Jericho chest.

Guys were taking open hands slaps across the packs for decades. Yeah, there's fucking guy. Look at it. He's in a bed. Everybody else is on the floor, the dirty floor. He's in a comfortable fucking bed There's another setup that they have now The most you because he's in front of those people are behind them This is them that's a mirror behind him reflecting him and then when they pan up above them It's just this fucking giant hole where air conditioning is falling down just on him Yeah, that's so funny Dude it is it's so weird that this cult God, yeah, that's so funny. Dude, it is, it's so weird that this guy,

the girl, Aishila was such a fuck, ruthless, ruthless. So I didn't know this, and we should probably try to do this as comedians. If you buy, if you buy lamp, right? There it is. There it is. That was a striped. That was the simpler one. There's another one that's like a way bigger one than that mirror room.

Where like his home base. It's really funny. That's funny. He's got it's 150 degrees in there, except on his fucking head. Dude, it's fucking it's a comfortable 68 right where that guy is. And then everyone else is just in hell. Um, all right. So guy is, and then everyone else is just in hell. Anything. All right. So, so, so this is a, this is a fact I didn't know. I don't know if it's still an existence,

but you can, a hundred, and I think it's 150 people, you can make a town. You can actually apply to the state and say we wanna make the, the, the, the, the, the the mushy the mushy mic town. And let Mike, yeah, Mike with Mikeville, mushyville. And it's only mushy people can live there. And it's 150 of course you do. You can't come though because you're not mushy. So look at her wink. I fucking hate Gabby. You're really bringing to Miami garbage energy. I Hate her. I don't enjoy it. I hope whatever clear cocktail you have tonight sucks

Oh God, I hate I am officially old because I want the generation to go to war. I want Gabby to get her papers. I want the government to go and you have to join. You know how it'd be if fucking Gabby in 18 months was scooping up brains and some fucking war zone in Poland just was a fun. She's a she's a she's a serenade blood on her cheek and ear necklace. She goes, I'm sorry. I don't speak Farsi. I don't know what to say. I got to stop the bleeding. It's a fucking honor. She's fucking picking up podcast. I have a regional Emmy. Is that okay? I'm assuming the brains with it. He says he says he wants to see his son before he

meets the my his maker. Stop adding to it. Let him make fun of you. It's not fun when you add to it. You're so annoying. I say nothing all episode. And when I say anything, you're like, shut up. Welcome in the chat right now, Gabby. Welcome to you know what, Gabby? You're comfortable for a second. Then you're on your feet.

This is why KW really is. And you know what, I'm in this position most of the time on my own show. So listen, here's the deal. To this lady, you can actually get 150 people together and form your own town like a city. And you can apply for it and you can just become a city. I didn't know that. So at one point, they were like, the town was going to, they were buying up all these houses in downtown. And they were like, oh my god,

they're going to take over this fucking place. So the regular people that lived in Antelope will like, we're not gonna let that happen. We're gonna, we're gonna dis, I don't know what the fuck they call that, dismantle the city. We're gonna vote to not be a city anymore, not to be Antelope. So they can't get it, right?

But what happened was they bought up so much of the town that they voted and they're vote one. And they were like, no, we're not gonna do that. We're gonna be a town and it's not gonna be anilopony. And they renamed it, they renamed the town, they renamed all the streets, they renamed the school, they taught their school. So it's supposed to be a public school,

but it was all these people and their teaching kids had to be like them Were there I forget if there were regular people that stayed Were there was there anything there was well. Yeah, yeah, there was some of the regular town But here's the thing one of the farms One of the bigger farms ranches to come ranch, his father, was the guy who invented Nike. What thought night? No. Thought one. Him and another guy. Oh, yeah, it was the other guy.

Okay, it was the guy. He basically had a waffle iron. And he got rubber and stuck it on a waffle iron and glued it on the bottom of a shoe and made the first running shoe. Yeah. And that became Nike. This guy is a fucking gazillionaire because they went public years later. And he was like, fuck you. And we're gonna fight these guys.

And... It's got the bank roll, dude. That's why you gotta be friends with a fucking sneaker entrepreneur. Yeah, but this Sheila bitch was like, this Sheila chick was like, I don't have to do an Indian accent, but she was like, she literally went, they were like, what you're doing to this town and all the stuff you're doing to the people that lived in that town before you. She looked at the camera. She went tough, titty. Yeah, I remember that. I remember that.

Yeah, I remember that. I remember that from the documentary. Tough to tell you. So she went, these, this bitch went and got, they got a lab on the ranch and they made Sam, the Samanilla. They had like a laboratory and they got all the Samanilla and they went to all the local restaurants with salad bars and shit and they developed a device that was in their sleeve so they could go and reach for stuff and it would just wipe everything with San Manila. I gotta stop watching shit high because I watched this thing and I'm like, you're explaining it to me, I'm like, this is gripping.

And I remember I watched the entire thing. Also, I thought you said when they went off and we got into the laboratory, they came back and they invented Reebok. So that's how they fought back was creating the second best shoe. You got a stuffed get-knife. No, they went and they, they were trying to, I mean, that shit kills people and they were trying to get it so that people wouldn't vote.

They'd be sick and they wouldn't be able to vote. And then they tried to blow up to, I believe, senators, this lady. That was when they, that was when, didn't she just kind of like break off and go nuts because her, their relationship got weird. So she went fucking berserk her mode. She went, all right, the lady who produced,

God damn it, let me get this right, the Godfather. The lady who produced the Godfather, I believe it's the Godfather, was a member of this cult. She just fell into her and this her husband who was a doctor. So the doctor was his personal doctor. And this guy was enamored with this

lady because she was famous and there were millionaires. They had so much money and they were, you know, funneling money into him and getting him all kinds of gifts. He liked the shiny shit, this little, this little Rajeej like shiny shit, right? So he's like, thank you very much. Thank you. He's like, holding it. He's like, I love shiny shit. He's toss it at him. They're like, thank you very much. Thank you. He's like, hold it again. He's like, I love shiny shit. He's toss it at him. They're like, check out your Ojo now. And he's like, I think you've got a bunch ahead of it. Colt leaders always fall in love with rich people and people act like it's like, and a surprise.

He liked the lady that had access to all that fucking money. And of course, they always, they always like whoever whatever cult, they always find one rich person to just funnel fund their stupid shit. And people, everybody, everybody's enamored with Hollywood. Let's be honest. Yeah. It doesn't matter who you are. It doesn't matter which you are. But that's what Hollywood was cooler. When Hollywood was like exclusive and like a thing you couldn't touch and not in us weekly and shit. So yeah, of course. So yeah, she so she she the the Sheila chick who was his main lieutenant second in charge. She was the motherfucker. She wouldn't let anybody fuck with

him. All of a sudden these people pushed her out the doctor and this producer lady. All of a sudden, these people pushed her out, the doctor and this producer lady. And they were, they were, you know, they didn't like each other at all. But Sheila had her, her fucking, her, you know, 12 chicks, her 12, you know what I'm saying, chicks does. It doesn't hurt her, her doesn't dirty games. Yeah, right.

Just get all nasty, femme fatales. It's kind of very similar to the, you know what, the story where I would say the Mush and Gabby are the doctor and the producer and You know, I would say Lewis Gabby's about to fucking kill me There's no other option. There's no other option. I have to kill him tough titties. That's what she's gonna say. She's she tough tough titties tough titties. That's what I'm gonna say.

Mush, not today, not today on International Woman's Day. How dare? Is that WrestleMania six? That's bad. So anyways, so what happened then? I love like I just feed you guys this shit. I just go off on tangents. Listen, so they, they, she says, fuck it. She goes, we need to take the doctor out.

And they were all like, I mean, this is a peaceful cult. These people love and happiness and joy. And you know, that's what they're building a utopia. And that's all thing. And all of a sudden this shield of it is like we need this doctor taking care of. And one lady is like I'll do it. So which lady was it because there's like they keep a couple characters but the ones that I identify with are the people that are like I I don't know, my buddy brought me and then next thing I know I'm the secretary of defense for the cult and I'm strapped to the teeth and

bullets. It's like, and I always, I feel bad because when they get the, yeah, there she is, tough ditty. Yeah, that's tough ditty. I always identify with those people that just get kind of fucking suckered into it where they're like, it just kind of was a cool hang and the next thing I know you know he was he was having my wife So so so she sends her and that doing this big huge event the

Rageeds comes out and everybody's going nuts and she walks up behind the doctor guy and literally leans in and says something to him. So he leans over and she shoots him right in the butt and he starts to fall. She's like, what's wrong? What's wrong? You said shoots though. Needle. Needle. I was a needle of poison. Yeah, she poisoned him. She's stuck him right in the room and as he's coming He's he's going hair and she's like, what's wrong? What's wrong? What what you okay? What's wrong? And she's just back in a way like this guy's nuts and she just walks away and Could you and that was

Could you taunt someone after you poison them? That's a fucking rough song. What's wrong? You little bitch. What's up, Holmes? You getting sleepy? Baby getting sleepy? Walked with me. Should you know that idea? So they tried to kill this guy. It didn't work. He didn't die. He didn't die from that. No, he didn't die. He made it. The dummies and they wound up taking off Sheila and all her girls. And then the Raj just, you can see he got mad. He broke character. She is a bitch. He's like, she's not cool. That was so not fucking cool.

He was, he was, he was, he was everybody. And he was getting mad. And you can see him trying to control his serene. This, but he's like, she is a bitch. She's a cut for bitch. To watch someone go like, from trying to be like Nirvana and the serene and then that is why the energy comes to it. What did she do? What did she fucking do? What did she do? Fucking, if you had a regular accent, he's like I can fucking Columbus Ohio. What are you talking about? Yeah, dude, it was, it was pretty epic, but the girl, they think that the guy or G whatever his fucking name is. Let me see him. I can't even fucking say it. Let me just get it correct. Oh, show. Rod Raj Nish. Raj Nish. Raj Nish. Raj Nish. They thinkish. Raj Nish. They think that he got poisoned too. They

think that the doctor might have killed him. They realize, yeah, just came by very quest. Oh, like he wanted to pick the day he went out and then they light him on fire in front of everybody, which is fucking nuts. But, that's cool. Yeah, this is so funny too, that the people were so mad that these people moved into that ranch, but the ranch that is a young Christian's organization got the ranch.

Oh, really? And now they're, yeah, but they're awesome. They got water slides, they got pools, they got rock climbing, it's a real fun cult. Oh my god That's incredible. What a fun you want the fun upgrade? You want the We should start a cult All right, nobody leads. How's that? That's how about this? Okay, okay, hang on a stop No, fuckless. She'll kill everybody the second week. Exactly. You'll be the first

one to go. I know. Oh, toss us out there just because I think we can both agree on it. I would think Lewis J Gomez would be a fine candidate. No, he cannot be the leader. He has to be the guy. Your militia. That's a militia. I apologize. He's the militia. He's the militia. I would recognize. Who is the militia? I would recommend Big J. I would say that. Okay. Okay. I agree. I think Big J would be a perfect leader of the cult. I, yes, you're right. And we would all have mittens with fingers cut off. I'm already on board. I'm already on board. I'm on board. I love those. And I love the ones. And when you graduate, you get the sleeves with the thumb holes.

Love it. I love it. That's when you're like upper. I'm a smoker with those. This is all sounding so good. I know we're going to live in a very comfortable environment. I know a lot about Jay. Yes.

Yes, we're going to be probably Southern, but not too warm, not too hot. There'll be a lot of sex stuff. I know that first. Yeah, but no, you have no physical, nothing crazy, no movement. Sorry. He'll, he'll, he'll, he'll, he'll develop a stance with a man, stand still, and the women back into him. You know, they mean where women, push each other, back into him. You know what I mean? Where women push each other women into him. A Bobby can you handle him being able to flex the power of being the cult leader? That's what it will be. Here's a deal that I say we have Joe List is the meditation director because you know,

he loves that shit. Yeah. We make him an Ari meditation. They're not, they don't even come to us. They're off in the fields. Fine with it. Fine with that. I think we make Lewis Secretary of Defense. I think every, yeah, he's Secretary of Defense. Joe and Ari are meditation. Everyone has the power to love their blood.

Meditation. Herbs and herbs. I can nail that. Yeah. You're the one that negotiates with the towns. Yes. I love that. Yeah. Yeah, you're the one that negotiates with the towns. Yes. I love that.

I love that idea. I'm going to bring in a couple squares. I'm going to flip them. The mayor is going to wind up joining because of you. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to get in deep with the city council. Right.

What would Becky Undo? You know, I think you would be a teacher there, also like co-head of military. I think you need him in a defense position. Well, I think he would be co-head of military, but he would actually be more into physical education. Oh, man. Sure. Just working out.

Yes. But we would only work out with the things that nature provides. So he'd he'd curl rocks. He'd make you get trees. I'm loving this. I'm loving this rocky for fitness plan that fucking Becky is going to put us on. Right. Yes. And then I what would I do? I would probably had finances and I don't know if that's bad because we'd purchase a lot of unnecessary technology. And I don't know if that's bad because we purchase a lot of unnecessary technology. I'm kind of all right with you. I can be coming to a head and Jay having to decide and Joe list, you know, going to the who goes to the authorities? Authorities would have to be Dave Smith. No, no, no, who rats?

And eventually going down the whole thing. She's not. who rats and eventually bring down the whole thing. She's not. You think that she's not. Are you you're not allowed to say? You're gone. You're out. No, no, no, no, no, no, we need Gabby because she's the face of it. She's the one who brings.

No, she's not. She's the commercials. Yeah, dude, she has cult face. Look at that hair. That's greasy limp cult hair. She has she has Diane Sorrier. I'm going to flip on you hair. Yeah, greasy limp cult hair. She has Diane Sorrier. I'm gonna flip on you hair. Yeah, she does. I haven't I haven't showered with soap in three months here. She sits now with Diane Sorrier and she goes, I didn't want to be there. I loved it. They didn't treat me with any

respect. And then she's like, okay, thanks. Yeah, how's the book selling? Pretty good. Okay. Tip on all of us. Gabby even said I'm trying to bring you to hold and come on. I'm head of I'm head of video. Me and Mushya had a video and audio and podcasting. And like, you know, all the every time Jay does a speech, I'm directing it. Like I'm directing it, me and Mushes. I think there's two ways to say what you're trying to say. Number one is the dorky way, where I think you just called you and Suarez fucking the AV club.

Yes. And the, the riskier way of saying it is, you want to be gerbos. You want to be Joseph Gerbos. You want the propaganda arm of the third right two ways those are the two ways I can help you Think that's probably the most Yeah, boss bosses and charges speeches. Oh dude boss is great. Oh dude boss So Charges speeches. Oh dude boss is great. Oh, dude boss. So boss really is the king's speech. Uh, yeah.

Why we yeah, yeah, and who else we got? Uh, who else do we got? We got other people who else? Here's the thing is there's no woman. There's no women besides me. I think we have women here. Yeah. We have women. We have women. We're going to have body. Body. Body is going to be in charge of speech writing. And Rachel will be around for all. Yeah. Rich is going to that help. Rest seated. Rachel will be around. Uh, uh, Jessica Kirshen will be in charge of, um, uh, nutrition. I love it. Uh, we got serotonin wash, you know, will be. Sarah will be in charge of nutrition. I love it. We got Sarah Tala, you know, Sarah will be in charge of depression.

Not everyone in health. Not everyone needs a title. Adrian will just be customer service for everything. Yeah, she's customer service for anybody not in the cult. Like the town calling, you know, anybody outside the closet. Anyone trying to get to jail? in the cult like the town calling you know anybody out so if I if I called up I'd be like hey this is the electric company we need to talk to you yeah she'd be like hello yeah what is this fat JC nails it Dante Nero doing the couple counseling well

doesn't he actually yeah he does a sex week because we do do sexual. It's James things. Dude, I mean, come on. It's James Cole. You think there's not going to be sex. You're crazy. Oh, yeah. We're all fucking.

We're all we all back. We have bang Tuesdays and bump in Monday. He does, he does yacht rock Fridays where we just, you know, everyone's getting everyone's sucking and touching the Christopher Cross, you know, I'm sad of it. I was sad of it as we do karaoke with the comedy jam, with the comedy jam guys, but it's naked. It's naked jams. Yeah, naked jams. All we have on is mittens. Oh, do that be great. Just mitt and Monday. Yeah, that's good. Only where your power gloves to the...

What color would I Mittens be black or we'd have to pick a color, right? I think ours would be black, Jays would be gold, and then his officers would be like red, you know? You'd have to go with a tier system. Yes, exactly. And then Rainbow, Mateo would have Rainbow.

That's fine. I know. Well, I think Mateo would have rainbow. That's fine. I know. Well, I think everyone's just got black. I think I think we just leave it the black. I even Jay, you know, he brought in the look. No, Jay has to have diamond mittens. He's our leader. Oh, maybe he can just have a nicer material. Will you meet me in the middle?

The Lord. I think I think he has to look, man. He's our leader. I would say Diamond Mittens, or at least Diamond with Diamonds in them. Diamond Mittens. I would sing his song whenever he came in to speak to everyone. Diamond Mittens. I have to be quiet because there's people sleeping.

That was kind of that wall. Yeah, Colin Quinn would be in charge of rants. Duty. Anybody? You need our wall for Cronkite. Maybe like, I don't know if you have what's going on outside. You know, it's not good. I'm not.

He's just telling us orgy updates. He's like, yeah. Sam Arrell hamstring. I think he was trying to go from putt mouth. Gabby, you have to show me walking the room naked and left again. What the hell is wrong with me? I don't get it too. You know, if I can hurt Gabby, chuckle on the water.

I got a pair of men with nothing. Is it something that's like, I got a tie-fife in it. See, it's like shut up stupid. I see you're cold. I can tell you're cold. You make it. Watch your stupid dance prayer.

Just doing that in front of Keith. I'm like, ah, ah. No. But we just put, we leave Keith in a cherry picker. Yeah. And he gives, he gives sermons and we, we got to swoosh him up down. Got a bowl horn. Yeah.

I love what, what's the name of our cult? I don't know. We got to think of it. I just looked at the chat and someone said Norman for autism awareness, which is. We'll, we'll, we'll so Vince, we'll so. We'll build it. This is how you count the train lines. You look at even at the medical problem.

Fucking mail it. He's a cool me in charge of race relations. Yeah, that's that's where I have to do a lot of my work is putting out the fires that he sets, you know, like outside where I'm like literally. I said, you know, like that. I think you can trace his thinking. I think what's the name of it? What was the name should be it should be. Yeah. Jay gets the name it. It's got to be some weird word from his vocabulary. The golden glove. The big cult because he's big Jay, the big cult. I'm already telling me some with the mints. The go the three fingers society. No, I know yeah, why we all have more than one three fingers. Oh free finger society free fingers Showed off. It's a little wordy a little bit. You're almost there. It's a little wordy

How about the Fucking sucks a hack and spill how about thumbs out? Yeah, I'm a if you know that going to have you know that. How about? If he does that immediately. How about? Old poor can sport. Shangilus. Absolutely. It's already done. Oh, yes. And consider Shangilus already the police commissioner.

He will be in charge of ruling if stuff is gay or not. Yes, yes. Yes, no bananas. There'll be no eating of bananas. You have to slice them and eat them with a fork. Yeah. Let's get this name. Could it be the Golden Gloves Society? I think Jay's got a name. I'm over here worried about Rodin's tribe coming Could it be the golden glove society? I think Jay's got a name. I said that. I'm over here worried about Rodin's tribe coming for us, you know, but.

Yeah, but no, dude, they can't beat us. They can't beat us. I mean, physically yes, but. Not, but not spiritually. No. No. Seriously. No.

No. Seriously. Because if they, if they come to us, our technique is we all get naked and we we jump them. Yeah, Nicky, that's fun. Nick, uh, Nicky, Nicky dip runs perimeter. He's our perimeter boss. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'll fucking kill you. I don't fucking wrong with you. Um, I haven't a saw what Jesus Christ. Nick alright. So I think. Oh my

cut. How about we Daniel has a good one. Big J's culture. So that's you know, that's fun. I like the big J culture said that's all right. It's a little wordy, but I like it. Telling you man, it's got to be we can find

something better. I would say let's get Jay on the horse. Yeah, he's doing skanks. I was I said, but megabob is that died for this cult. Oh man. Well, if what megabob you might have that chance, depending on releasing options in upstate New York. We're gonna need We're gonna need all of you to purchase mittens. Oh man. Because I'm gonna. Air sold, educates a child of our community. We don't call it a cult until they're shooting fire out of a tank at us.

And we let, we make fun of children at a young age to toughen their skin. We let them be races as long as it's funny. Has to be though. And it has to be funny. Only way that's determined is if the person of the race being made fun of says it's funny. Right. Exactly. If not, you get banished. You don't get banished. He takes it. It's chill out. We got that's why I'm not that's why I'm not that's where I'm in the AV club. I got to ask you the blue.

All right. I don't have any games. I'm not going to ask you the moon. I'm going to ask you the moon about this. All right. I don't have any games. I'm sorry. I'm going to talk to the band of movies about how Jay was birthed from the Sun in the Moon. Okay. Oh, that's what we got to figure out. We got to figure out. We have to figure out the origin story. I'll say we go big with Jay.

Sorry, I doubled up on that. And I say we give him like a Kim Jong Un kind of, you know, I, I think we find him in the back of a Taco Bell as a baby. Oh, I say he's dropped from the sky by a mighty eagle. A mighty eagle. A mighty eagle known as Soren, who dropped J.O. so that he could make the land strong and us funny.

Yes, but the ground was so hot, that he couldn't touch it with his hands, but he needed his fingertips to make phone calls on iPhones. And so the great eagle snipped off the fingertips of the gloves so he could hold the phone but also make calls. I love dogma. I would say I have heard that Jay actually has eyes in his palms and that's why he has eyes. And we're going to do we're going to do the extra 10. we're going to do. We're going to do the extra 10.

We're going to figure out the origin story of the big Jake Caltison, called that we're starting. We need to add Louis TK. Yeah, we need to add God-free. It'll have us. You think you're joined? I'm so fine. Do you think? You doing it so far.

Do you think? You're so fucking soda. I mean, if you were in come with us, I mean, I think there's been quite no list as good president. I don't know. Bobby knows him. I think that's enough to get a bit more, you know, whatever.

All right, real quick, we got Dan Soda changed. We're going to talk about that in two seconds. We do an extra 10 for Patreon members only. If you're a Patreon member, you're watching live right now, unedited. The YKWD, I want to thank you for joining. We have this every week. You get to watch it live, unedited.

We get an extra 10. We give you a shout out when you join. Your name, we're going to do it a little while. And also patreon.com, says Robert Kelly. Colletering Kelly's up there. You get a only episode Friday episode. And you can be a member of the J.O. party, the jerk off party, where saturday night, we let all you fans and the member of the patrons come into the zoom and hang out with us, ask us questions,

be fucking idiots, and have a lot of fun. Last week, we had an intervention and we helped the guy who just Odin died and came back to life and Mike Calton made him throw out his Xanax into the fire. So we saved lives here too. Patreon.com. Shashrubbick Kelly, you got Gabby, where are you going to be? I'm going to be in Miami for the next week in a bikini. You could follow me at Gabby as Brian on Instagram and Twitter and I have a in a bikini you could follow me at Gabby is Brian on Instagram and Twitter and I have a monthly comedy newsletter that you could subscribe with the link in my bio.

I'm sorry I just read Jay help. He wrote Dave Lando is in charge of finding better deals. Yeah, he goes guys you guys think this land is good. I got a plan to go to there's a waterfall. You know, Oh shit. Most what do you got baby? land is good. I got a plan to get going to. There's a waterfall. Shit. Moche, what do you got, baby? Don't follow me at Mike Fiswarez. I will be the big J Olkerson, uh, turning the cold early, uh, the 18 through 20 at the Laval Alps and Antonio. And I think I'm doing Addison with Dan over the summer. Yeah, dude. I think we're doing it in July. You know, when it's going to be

unbearably hot in Texas. Yeah. So I think we're doing it in July, you know, and it's gonna be unfairly hot in Texas Yeah, I think you might be coming down to Fistonis too much You know when you guys are when the power grid gets knocked out because of heat instead of cold So that'll be fun July 15th through the 17th And you got of course the new bonfire Yeah back on new bonfire new channel well yeah no it's new it is new it's fucking great and it's cool to be comedy central was like they didn't care they didn't give a shit about us like they really couldn't have there were people that

did care about us but overall that company was just like, you know, whatever, you guys were a radio show. And then everyone left, and we were just the last ones there for like the final six months, and then finally they came to us right before Christmas, and they're like, cool, getting you the year,

we're shutting down all original programming. And we're like, we're the only programming left. And they're like, right? So see, they fucking shut us down. And serious, you know, rushed and got us a deal. You know, it took a while, I think, but it was also a good deal where we got to move over to Faction Talk 103 with Bennington and Jim and Sam.

And it just feels like a much better fit. Oh, there's one other show you forgot to Jim and Sam Bennington us You know what dude no dude Rich and Kavino. Oh, they are they're gone. Oh, they're gone. Yeah, oh They let them go. Yeah. Oh, well, soon to be Calter and Kelly. Yeah, bring it on, Bobby. Let's fucking fill it out. Um, anyways, we got Dan Soda, the great Dan Soda. My favorite son. Let's just be honest. Come

on, buddy. And my dates, uh, here we go go right here. Much want to read those for me. Saturday March 13th, you'll be at point, wasn't you, Jersey at Uncle Finney's. Thursday March 18th through the March 19th. Salt Lake City, Utah wise guys Friday March 26th, March 28th, green. That one might be getting changed, but Greenville, South Carolina, the comedy zone Friday April 2nd through Saturday, April 3rd, Cleveland, Ohio, at hilarious. There's a April 8th, McKinney, Illinois, McKinney, and Dortheater, April 9th, Friday, Chicago, Illinois, left factory, Saturday, April 10th, Lombard, Illinois,

Ike Live Music Hall. Guys, go to robacalive.com for all my dates. I'm back on the road. I just did a weekend at the roadhouse comics. So fun. I'm so glad to be back on the road. uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh No, you don't have to do fast reading. And if anyone listens to the bonfire, they know I'm barely literate. Okay. We're going to read all these names. Are you ready? I'm going to go as long as I can.

Ready? Yeah. Ben Steven Gillis, Daniel Jardin, Kavord, Kavord Tevez, Dominic, Timothy DeCad Titty, Justin, wait, Salonari, 10 points, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding God, I'll do it like Don Parto from Saturday Night Live. God's Bobby's Patreon starring Joshua Tabs God's Sam Morris Jr. Kevin Brennan. That's just funny. That's just objective. Is it Kevin Brennan? That's funny. He signed up for this. That piece of shit.

Listen, someone's not in. It's not him. Oh, if it was him, I'd have you. I'd have you block him right now. You think over. I'm done. I'm done with, uh, I'm done with Don Parto. Jessica, Alan Doring, bing, That's your what's rapture. Yeah, that's my Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Oh, Dan, Ben, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, How many are there? Bill Glowender. Come on faster. Cobus Roats, Daniel Bryce, George Hassett, Heather.

Bill Tauppel. Adam Dauppel. Jacob Randon, James Brown. That's great. Jacob Randon, James Brown. Glow That's great. Jacob uh Random James Brown James Brown the real James Brown Glen again Ryan Mitchell Jacob busher Boucher Ryan

Ryan what's up you fucking motherfucker dude West Benjamin Plotnik ghost crusaders, yes, Darryl Schmidt, whoop, J.J.J. Jason Singer, Frank Labasio, Tom Hepereotalki, Phillip Warley, Curtis Low, Nicholas Davis, Thomas Donovan.

Tom Nevis, a Corey Senior, Debbie and McCollum, Nick Rodin, Patrick Steel, Jeff Steve C John Fairbomb, and Jeraal. Gary, Gary Nikasai, Nikias, Stephen E.N. Grow, Scott Sands.

Oh, right. There we go. We'll read the next week. That was great, Gabby. Good job. I mean, fucking Dan gave up after three names, but that was great. You know, I'm only visiting, dude. What do you mean you're visiting? I was coming up. I'm visiting me. Coming home for the weekend. He's coming home with dad's house for the weekend.

Yeah, I'm just going to go, hey, Brad, hey, do you want to rake leaves? And I go, no. I had to rake leaves when I was a year. That is so funny. That's exactly the metaphor. And that is exactly it. Yeah, I was going to see you, dad.

I love you, dude. I'll park you a lot more. You'll like me more in like 10 years when you're older and you have kids. Yeah, you know, it's not a cat in the cradle situation. It's more healthy than that, but I'm coming over for a bite. And, uh, pound one out in my room. Uh, let me ask you a question, buddy. What's up? How's you and your girlfriend going? Doing great. Yeah? Yeah.

Okay. I'm asking her to hold. Dude, I'm telling you right now, I was at my cigar club, and I walked in, and all the guys were watching the TV's, and I look up and your girlfriend's on the fucking monitor. And I'm like, holy shit. And they're like, what? I'm like, my good. And they're like, what? I'm like, my good buddy, that's his girlfriend.

And they went, get the fuck outta here. Yeah. I was like, all right, whatever. What if I brought her in and like spun her around? That's the, that's the, I love it. That's the, that's the, yeah, you think she would let me do that? She's from fucking Boston. She'd be like, I'm gonna punch her in your throat

when you go to grab my hand. I'm gonna. Mike, who are these names? In the chat, are these things you had to look in the thing? I'm sorry, I just looked. I was having such a fun episode that I looked in my perhasiata. What is it with Bill Bollmomer? I can't find skin tags.

Those are for earlier. Oh, no, yeah, way earlier. That's right. Way earlier. Those are for earlier. Oh, yeah, way earlier. Those are people in the documentary you were talking about. I have a man with you. Oh, damn. Oh, so you'll bow our men was the other person who founded Nike. His son Joe was the one in the documentary. Yeah, that was the, all those people jumped on from the, the, the, the Kumya network. We had that big

Kumya show this week. Last week and they all jumped on. Hopefully they, they stick around for the beautiful episode with Dan Soda. Maybe not. Maybe not. Most I hope so, you know, hey, all right. I'll let you know. I'll let you know at the end of the month, we'll fucking, they were, we're reading one name. I think I'll hate thanks. I'll up Castro. Okay. Check out Robert. Yeah, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing.

That's what I do with people who do more than $5. I get my little extra and it's usually Bing, Bing, Bing Bing Bing Bing and then they get the rooster if it's 25 bucks Well, listen Dan it was good to see you see I love hanging out with you. I love being silly with you. This was a very fun show. I'm glad we started a new cult I can't wait to have this to come to fruition. Cut to three years from now, up in Vermont, we have 68 acres of land. Love in life, just living it, just loving it, living it, lounging it.

Just like that. We have seven comedy clubs on our farm, and people have to come, people have to come to see us, to see comedy. Just turn that, yeah. I just turned it out. Yeah. It just turns out end up being open mics because it's all comics. It's really like, right.

Like what a twilight zone ending. Yes. I love you Robert. I love you too buddy. I'll see you later. Danced so everybody. You guys are cool. You guys are.

Come on. Good. Because you're doing are cool. You guys are pretty good. Come on. Because you're doing pretty good. Thank you. Come on. Give Gabby some love. Give me a little bit more. Gabby, you're a sweet gal.

Thank you. You're a real sweet boy. All right, mush. We got a van Vader. Oh, yes. That's badass. All right, get out. You're such a child.

You're such a child. You get to allow your brother. I mean such a child. You're such a child. I mean, literally, you're literally falling asleep and then he brings up a fucking Vader doll. You're almost 40. You're almost 40. Not seeing any problems here, Elhafe. I'm seeing problems that pinky finger needs

to lift some weights. That's what I'm saying. I'm just strong. I have piano for hands. Dude, if you're gonna be in this cult, you're gonna have to get those fingers going, okay? It's just in the tips. You can, shut up.

You look like the sister and you have the hands of the sister and shits Creek. You can, I mean, we get it. You're watching Shits Creek. You wanna reference it again? I love it. We love it. I love it.

I love it. We love it. I love it so much. I love it. We love you. I'm sorry. It's not the Godfather you fucking hacked. Not like that. I'm watching fucking the challenge on MTV. Hey, Touche. I'm Z. Leited by put that thumb away. Oh, shit. Dan Soda is one of my favorites. My favorites. Um, you got them right. Best Patreon. Um, we give the most. Most people give it a little extra. We do a bunch on this fucking Patreon. I'm going to be starting to shoot live from the shed again. I believe Dennis Larry just texted me and He's gonna be coming down and doing live from the shed

So that will be hopefully the first guest of the new season that we will be putting up and I'm gonna be putting up little things You guys know I love knives. I love watches I love All kinds of shit. I love handmade shit. I love shit that one guy or one woman, I know, Gabby, makes that anything. That was your own. I know, but your tone, your eyebrows, your stare, your dead. Wasn't even listening.

Stare. Can you mute yourself then and not talk? And then, oh, I can't stand those lips. Gabby, did you get butt hurt on the show today? I'm sorry. It's not you're annoying me. I'm sorry. Did I ignore you? What do you want me to do?

Tell me what you need me to do. Listen, when I don't talk, you're not talking. And then when I do talk, you go shut up. And then sometimes. I'm leaving. I hate those. you're not talking. And then when I do talk, you go shut up. And then some time. I'm leaving. I hate those. She left. Um, you want to say the line?

See you guys next week. Thanks for joining the Patreon off new members. Happy International Women's visit a month or a week. We'll see you guys next week with another great guest on you know what the See you later You've been listening to the YKWD podcast Thanks for listening Now go back to your shitty jobs