Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - DARVO'D | The Regz w/ Shane Gillis, Robert Kelly, Dan Soder, and Luis J. Gomez Ep #67

Episode Date: July 15, 2026

Shane Gillis joins Robert Kelly, Luis J. Gomez, and Dan Soder since Joe List was unavailable and what an episode it was! The boys talked about the Hormuz Cruise, trading Shane to New York for Joe List going to Austin, Mike Suarez trolling James Mattern at the las Las Vegas Skankfest, finding out Luis' DARVO'D everyone, embracing insults like the dunking moose and slug, Luis' flooded yard, Bobby's game winning knee slide catch, and more! LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-regz-ep-04-robert-kelly-dan-soder-luis-j-gomez/id371045355?i=1000634076160 SOCIALS Robert Kelly @ykwdpodcast https://robertkellylive.com/https://www.instagram.com/robertkellylive/ Luis J. Gomez https://luisofskanks.com/https://www.instagram.com/gomezcomedy/https://twitter.com/luisjgomez Joe List https://twitter.com/JoeListComedyhttps://www.instagram.com/joelistcomedy/ Dan Soder https://www.dansoder.com/https://www.instagram.com/dansoder/ Thanks to @johng.wav on Instagram for the new intro music. SPONSORS Chubbies Shop Chubbies’ biggest sale of the season for $45 and under on Swim Trunks, Shorts, and Pants. Plus up to 65% off clearance! Get 20% off with code regz at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/regz Lucy Get 20% off first order w/ code “REGZ” https://www.lucy.com Mint Mobile Get your wireless bill to $15/month! http://MintMobile.com/regz BodyBrain Coffee Use code REGZ20 to get 20% off https://www.BodyBrainCoffee.com/ GLD New customers get 40% off with code REGZ at http://GLD.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Fill her up. You're listening to the Gas Digital Network. What's up, everybody? We're back. It's the regs. We got Dan Soda. Lewis J. Gomez. We got Bobby Kelly.

And special guest sitting in for Joe List, who's up in Maine with his family. Shane Gillis is here. Wow. Hey. First time we've ever had a guest. We've had him before. He's been on twice.

You know? Also, it might be your top listener. Yeah, you love the show. I love the regs all the time. Yeah. I can fill in for this, nice We also have a tiny man Oh, Bing chong bang,

Honestly First, And I You gotta do list jokes the whole show Just puns and just puns and blink a lot His Chinese accent was already And Joe will never watch this So he'll never hear

He'll definitely watch this He's watching it with those marbles in his hands He's sad, he's not here 100% he's sad he's not here He's like yeah He's up at midnight No he's not saying he's leaving us Wait hold on

Texas Let me hold on guys got it. Pako called me and he was like, he really did. He was like, we got to stop talking about the same thing over and over again on the show. It's like, you guys. This is what people don't understand

is this podcast is actually I'm K Ultra. It's only working on me. I'm playing college football at my house. Hey, what we do is we, it's called a soothing technology. Yeah, we're not smart. We talk about the same things over and over. I got to be honest, I'll put on an episode because it'll just be Spotify random. It'll be from like

two years ago. Same thing. Who's Nick would you suck? It would take two hours for me to be like, oh, this was so old. Oh, man. Oh, are they still talking about the movie? It's not even Skankfest movie hasn't even been thought of, but we're still talking about it. Paco suggested, and I agree with this.

I appreciate Paco because none of the other fucking producers are putting any initiative in. You mean the guys are doing all the work while Paco gets coffee? Do you think these guys do more work than Paco? During the show. I would... During the show is not a hard thing. It's post-production is the hard part of the show.

setting it up, click, put the lights where they got cameras where they got to be. It's a podcast, too. First of all, why do they have to break down the podcast? Because different podcasts come in here and they have to change the cameras. It makes those things. What do you mean? What the fuck is it? So every show comes in and sits in.

Because Jew Noon, I said it. Joe Noam comes in. He lays down the fucking Israeli hammer and has to fucking change the camera angles. This should just not make any sense that you just went. He's so Jewish just to change the camera angle. That's like a minute. I think he was saying because he owns everything. Yeah.

Yes, that's what bank. No, he wasn't. You see how lost he was on that? I really just, he was just reaching for shit. He was like, and then you got no coming in here. And there's carpet. Because of Jewish people. Yeah.

You came in tan. You've been sucked and fucked too recently. No way. And I like the beard. No. It's the gray. It's the gray. I'm great as fuck.

Where'd you go? Him is Gandalf. That was great. Frodo. He goes, Frodo, you're a gay one. You shall not pass. Don't wear a ring, fag.

You guys... You guys eat two breakfasts, fat sluts. Yeah, you're coming back from an island where you're... You fucking know the Lord of the Rings. That was in Mexico. Okay. Well, you've seen... Relic.

Yeah. Not a little business. What were you doing? Are you linking up with a cartel for a fucking skypest? But he's like shit He said he'd be here with the Sonola Cartel and they go See

I don't want to go to Mexico for Skangfest Uh We're not Oh good We know we're We know where you're Nothing What?

What? You know where we're going? Nothing. Where are you going? We're not going anywhere Buy your tickets for Skank Fest In New Orleans Oh yeah

Where's the next one? I will say a good commercial If it's a cruise I'll kill you I will I will not go Yeah I know I say

there's every skank fan. I'm not going to. What's a problem? What's the problem? I'm never going on a cruise. It's a cruise. I wonder what the problem of cruises. Cruz would lose a lot of people.

Cruz is a crazy. Cruz. Cruz lose me. Cruz lose me. Cruz lose me. Call the Lose Cruz. Lose Cruz. Lose Dan.

Luce Shane. A fucking cruise with the skanks fans, dude. Oh my God. You'll get fucking. It'll be a new virus. We're going to have to stay at sea. We're going to have to quarantine that fucking thing. They'll have to send like.

They have to send you on a raft to an island. Yeah, the skanks fans give rats diseases. It's the only ship that ran out of food. We can't trace who, bitch. We give the rats antivirus. The rats have lost that scene. Yeah, you do a cruise. You're going to lose about quarter of your thing.

Nobody's going to do it. Let me just. Nobody's going on a cruise. It's a cruise. No. No, you can't edit out the phone. There's no cruise. There's no.

You don't edit the show. Do the intro. No directions, no topics, no edits. I'll go on the cruise if it's through the straight of Hormuz. Skank Fest Live from the street of Hormuz. It's not a crew. That's so great. That's so great. Just a guy going, I'm going to shoot him.

He's on one of those headsets from the fucking the top. Do you want me to take it out? Smiley Pirates. So you do Hormuz Curse. I would do the Hormuz Cruise. Hormuz crews would be kind of thing. We wouldn't lose him on the Hormuz crews, but we'd lose whatever this is. Joe's not here to bail you out.

Fred Lightley, motherfucker. Who wants to watch Blues clues? You and Joe's little nursery rhymes. Don't fucking work when he's not here. Is it a cruise? It's not a cruise. Yeah, it's a cruise. No, you give me your money and I go to Mexico and get signed and fine.

And I mean this. And I mean this. I swear on Max Kelly's life. Not my kids. I swear I'm going to. I swear on Max Kelly's life. May Max Kelly die a horrific, violent, sexual death. Let me tell you what Lewis is doing.

Yeah. I know what he's doing. Because Lewis has CEO brain. Lewis Cruz. Lewis saw the clip. The clip did well of when he wished blood cancer on Marty list. Oh, you think he's trying to... He's clip bombing?

Yeah. He's clip farming. Lewis's clip farming. And now he's wishing death upon your boy. But here's the thing. This is why I stay childhood. You can't fucking hit me. Dog?

I'm going to get a new one eventually anyways. Yeah, right. Myrtle, you had spas. You lose your mind, dude. Myrtle got blood cancer? Did I tell you like this? A guy's a nightshade. I'd cry like this.

I'd cry like that. But I know what you're doing. You're clip farming. No, not. So we're not, it's not going to be a cruise. You promise right here. I swear to you, it's not a cruise. We're doing it on a cruise.

We're doing it on a cruise. If we did a cruise, we would do a cruise called podcast away. It would be a bunch of podcasts on a cruise. Podcasts away. Christ. It's just an empty boat. Boo. Podcast away

Oh, fuck you. If that got to the poster stage, I would want everyone dead. Do you remember when you, remember when you wanted to have a club? You wanted to buy a comedy club? You wanted to buy a comedy club? And you wanted 24-hour podcasting?

You don't remember anything. You just say things sometimes. You said it. Do you remember what you wanted to buy a fucking castle and have it filled with fucking used condoms? I do. Hold on. When was this?

That sounds great. No, you wanted to have, was it a podcast? It was no, it was before live podcasting was the thing. Lee Janice Skanks was the only live podcast at the time. Before Gas Isletal started, we started 10 years ago. There was no live podcast, meaning in front of an audience. Oh, I did it. You did like a one-off.

I did fucking, like, six a year. You were part of them. No, no, I'm saying we made it a weekly live show. It's not always a competition. Sometimes. Very competitive. That's honest. And I like the honesty of that.

We're men. Sometimes most of the time it's competitive. You guys should get a little more competitive So, we fight We fight each other I would like that So no It was gonna be

I would make me very happy By the way The origin of gas digital was It was originally The original plan And was to work It was That's fucked out

That's funny Fuck you, that's funny It was called the pod And it was a live podcasting venue So it would be in the round There'd be a table in the round The audience that's around you Yeah

Everyone would have headphones in the audience. So if you go to the bathroom, you're still listening, and you hear like what everyone else hears, it would be like a podcasting experience. A restaurant? And then they bring your food while you, you know, you go, hold on. Can you bring me some chili fries during the adri? Can you give the bomb band an idea? We're going to retroactivate that for your... What the stuff? And then you guys It wasn't a 24 hour podcasting. That was a live podcasting venue. How often? And just people just come in off the street and go, I'm going to sit in on a podcast. We could see what this podcast. Could you book your own podcast?

I'd bark at space. I thought, hey, Jerry Seinfeld's doing his podcast. I'd say, open mic podcasting would be a thing. That'd be fun. Let me say you right now. You can do a lot of fun thing. Put four random people together. This is how he would bury Gordon.

That's a great idea. We should do it in the park right now as a gas digital show. We should do it on the regs next time. He will turn none of us show up. He's going to be like a record exec from the 50s and own the rights for all these people because he just went to the park and was like, hey, can you podcast talk into this? I own all.

your bastards. Can we do that one of Rags episode? We all pick our own random person to fill in for us. And it has to be an open mic. And they talk about the same thing? No, they do it. They come on there, they go.

No, they just... Hey, I heard you make a documentary. They just show up and they have to fill in for us. But it can't be a fucking... It has to be an open micer that nobody knows. It can't be like, you know, the new guy coming up. You can't get like Tristan or somebody.

You got to get... like a fucking nobody. Are you talking about going to an open mic or... Shut up Justin Bowling opening up for me

than tomorrow this weekend. Very funny kid. Tristan rules. Are you talking about going to just the park and grabbing somebody? No,

not like a random person because that's more fun. Yeah. Who, and I mean this. Just get one to those old chess guys. Yeah.

Just get four bums. That would be a great podcast. That would be amazing. Four homeless guys. Just going like, fuck you, man. They start tearing at the walls.

What's going, what happened? Oh, who's this man? Who the fuck is this? Oh, this is my, This is assistant.

It's my new assistant. You know, you didn't fire hot grace. Impossible. Hot grace, I call her in my dreams when I sleep. Your new grace? I'll punch you running your fucking mouth, dude. Oh, trick's on you. He's actually, he knows Krav Maga and BJJ.

Oh, you're Jewish. Oh, noam sent you to me. He's watching it. He gives a good blow job? No, you fired the other guy. What other guy? Hemorrhage. They told me you fired a guy at something.

Did you fire him? Probably this week. Hemorrhage, yeah. Well, Hemorrh. We didn't get fired. He lost the Springtern Olympics. So then just somebody else gets it. Is this?

Who is he? I just brought in coffee. Who the fuck are you? My name's Nolan. I'm with the IRS. Shut it down. You've been served, dickhead. Get the body bring coffee.

You're out in real quick. Hey, sorry. They're taking me away. My assets in Jamaica, don't. He 100% has a bag of Jamaica. I don't have a Swiss bank again. I go to Jamaican back again. We spent all that money years ago.

He ordered coming back. Coming down here to get fucked and sook. They're bringing girls down here, fucking them and sucking them. You do do that a lot. He does it so much that. If it did happen, you go, right under our nose. Right under our fucking.

Yeah, you're tan right now. What's good? Were you, were you stuck? in the fucking south of the border again. I'm a little Mexico. I got a pool, too. I'm in my backyard. I can't wait for your eventual erotic set of novels describing all of your trips

of lust and lure and eating tropical. And then I gained 40 pounds every trip. No, I did. You look good. I worked out... I was in Mexico for four days. I worked out every single morning. I'm saying... You gained 40 pounds. No, you look

good. He looks good right now. No, you've come back to most... No, no. I've come back I was nervous about this one because I go on vacation and then I'm like a mess. This time, dude, it was fucking, first of all the only inclusive resort, which stinks. Yeah, but you have to talk to her like you're a werewolf. You go, hey, you're going to see some stuff down there. I'm going to change in front of your eyes. You grubbs so hard that you gain.

How much weight? I mean, I've gained 30, 40%. That's correct. By the end of that trip, the sex you're having must be. Dude, I'm holding my asshole. I have to shit always. So I'm just holding my asshole. close, just on his side

with his belly. Day six. Dude, it looks like the first day they're getting clapped by the pool boy. On the last day, it's like the god that owns the house that sends him on trips.

Oh, you guys, oh, you can, like, I feel bad for the girls that have sex with me. On vacation, dude, it's literally, it's a different person

by the last day. God knows what you were doing to them. I'm sweating on them. And they go, the trip wasn't, it wasn't all in close. Sometimes I'll look at a girl, That's why he has to get a new girl all the time.

Don't get a girl. She's fucking me, and I just feel I start sweating on her. I'll sweat and it'll drip down my nose onto her face. It has a move that I would use in Jiu-Jitsu to finish guys off. What? What? Whoa. You're making a bum?

Oh, you're pretty good at Jiu-Jitsu, Lewis. He goes, hey, got this right here? That's right here's called the single. Oh, whoa, buddy. Hey, miss. Oh, shit. You can make me punk and pop. Brazilian guy

Oh, Louis. We gotta slow down because the show's too good without Joe. Oh, dude, he's watching this blinking his ass off. The comments are going to be brutal for Joe.

He's the reason that Joe's he slows it down. I feel bad. Joe's brilliant. No, Joe comes in with topics. No, he does. He does. He does.

He has a topic. He does. And I also think the Protector Park sent in Shane is a sigh off. I think they brought him in to break us up. They were bringing up information that only some of us were privy to. We got, I mean, the trade of list down to Austin.

Yeah, it's going to have. You guys were yapping about Austin a lot. It was a problem. You know, guys go, maybe it's nice down there. You think it was us talking shit? We were describing it too much. What do you want? Sunshine every day?

Oh, oh, everyone becomes a millionaire. Off of fucking two open mics. Everybody has a new corvette. Those losers. down here? We drove by... Mexican food? I drove by a gas station and my kid goes... It's all beautiful living and money growing up with a tree. That's where that

parties, hot chicks, and everybody becomes a millionaire. Oh. And within six months, you can defend yourself perfectly. My kids are, uh, he goes, is that Tony Inchcliffe? And there's just this smoking brand new fucking Corvette at a gas station and it was fucking Tony Hensler. And then Joe had, I think Joe has a Corvette. Everybody

has a fucking sick car in Austin. Everybody. Joe's going to be down there at the Roller Waitress. Joe's gonna have a scooter. You're like dumb and dumber with a helmet. Austin is the shit. They have so many rooms.

They have fucking, like you could do six, seven shows a night in Austin on like a Wednesday. Oh, you just fucking, yeah. I would fucking move to Austin.

If I wasn't, we're gonna lose two of you? If I was an anchor to this city. Who do we trade him for? We got Shane for Joe. Well, I just moved back. Shane's man.

Shane for Joe's. Literally, we've traded up. We love Joe. We are the sixers. We all have scissors with Jalen Brown. But we go, yeah, I don't know. Here's an aging.

We trade Bobby. We trade Bobby for you. You could trade me for Danny. No. We got to bring somebody up from Austin. Like, who would be a phone one? Oh, you got Cam, too. Oh, yeah.

Cam Patterson. Cam for Bobby would be great, dude. No, we already got Cam. I think Bobby for... De Rosa? Rosa is a piece of shit, by the way. He is a giant. He didn't fucking call me one.

I was in. Austin, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. And he's a sensitive little bitch. He's a sensitive boy. I don't want to even get into it, but he's a sensitive little bitch. He's a sensitive boy. Just see you guys out, hashtag Joe De Rosa's a sensitive little bitch. Tag it, tweet it. Tweet it at him. Say Shane said it.

Say Shane said it. I love him. I do love him. I love him. He didn't call me at all. I love him. He didn't even come down the club to say hi. He was like, yeah, I'll pop down. I'll say hi. That you being desperate for attention from another man. Yeah, but he's my, I've known him. No, it's crazy. Listen, this is the only thing.

And Joe, we're close friends. Joe's gonna call all you. Don't call me. I didn't say anything. Don't call me. Don't call me. Lose my number. Delete that shit. That is messed up.

He didn't say what's up to you. I mean, just come by. Yeah. Where were you? Oh, like, the mothership? Oh, like, four days. He was gone for like a week. Yeah.

Wait, when? Was I there? Yeah, you were there. You didn't fucking. I don't know. I didn't expect you took everybody to fucking the concert, but me. You didn't. Oh, wait.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, you went to do it. Yeah, I saw Kanye. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. It was the best thing I've ever seen It was great. Kanye, and I, by the way, I said this publicly when he was going through all the shit.

It was like all the Nazi shit, all this. I was like, he will 100% be back. People are like, no way, dude. You can't go against the Jews. I was like, this is all just in the ether. He's just making himself bigger and like, he's like. But the atmosphere did change against the Jews over time. That is also true.

I mean, I mean, it's kind of. It's kind of what brought him back, I think. He's not ahead of the curve. He was. He goes. You know what else is great? self-driving cars. I go, Kanye, I don't want that.

They scare me. I love it. Waymo? I took them the whole time I was there. Have you seen how many are in San Francisco? I was great. I fucking love them. It's like all just Waymos and people shitting on the street.

Because the whole time you're in the car. He was driving by and you go, let that guy drive if you want shit. The whole time you're in the car, you're like, and then you can talk about whatever you want. You can say whatever you want because he's a good driver. You have a drive. Wait, they're listening, dude. Are you out of your mind?

They are monitoring. Yeah, but I don't, when the guy's in the car. And they categorizing it, it's being put into fucking some sort of AI thing. Bobby goes, so what I yell Max's social security number at. Where's that going? Yeah, but it's like that you can be a little... You're not being recorded. You hit the button and record you.

You have to choose to be recorded. Oh, you sweet country mouse. The fact that you think you sweet, sweet country mouse. First of all, I've been doing this podcast for so long. You think recording what I say in a fucking way moo is going to be anything worse than we've talked about on this show? No. When Bobby's in them, they're called waymoos. The moose

The moose. Yes. Waymo's A moo. Waymo. The moose is great. Waymoos is way better. Moose.

Getting out of the slug straight to the moose is nice. It's pretty good. The dunked moose. I had to buy the outfit. Yeah, yeah. He learned from the slug. He learned to own.

He was like, all right, so slug I ignored. No, I didn't ignore. No, the slug I never ignored. I would do shows. And as soon as they go, the slug and I would just, I was, do this. I'd be like slugging it on stage it. Can I tell you what Shane did?

I embrace the slug. Shane did a bully karate move where you were like that and you like said something and he goes, don't, I'll hurt you. And then he went like this. Like I was three in the juggleau. But I looked at all you three and you went, ah.

I was like, oh. They massacre. It's so easy to get a chance. It's skank fest. Yeah. It's all you got to do. Yeah. I'm going to call him a slug.

Slug. Slugs. Oh, that on a boat. going by some third world country Somali pirates are getting I don't think I want to chanting slug what is that

Let's go to the next one I don't like this one They have a slug on board Let's do this Viking cruise They are old people They have a slug and a moose That'll be a ghost ship Coming back into a port

There's a bunch of people overdosed on fentany It's like fucking dracinouship It's just empty crates And dead people But no, it's not a cruise. It's just saying you guys don't know. It's not a cruise. Is it East Coast or West?

We have an idea of what's happening. Gulf of Mexico, but we're not talking about it yet. Gulf of Mexico. It's obviously Mexico. Yeah, it's an easy cruise. Right out of Tampa. I'm not going to Mexico. Where will you go, Shane?

Is there anywhere you will go? He goes to Vegas. I go to every single one of these fucking things. One year you got sick. I did get really sick. I did get really since. So you say. By the way, I told this story last night at dinner with Vecchio and Katie.

but that moment where you because you got sick and you couldn't come to Skangfest do you remember what Mike Suarez did what? Oh yeah where he was fucking hilarious He had a tent

filled with people James Madden was next And he goes Mad Dog is next thing He goes ladies and gentlemen Special guest Shane Gillis And they're like Yeah

And then Mad Dog's like Why'd you do that Bubbas Why'd you do that? And he goes I thought it'd be funny I think Mad Dog was fine No he was like beat your fucking ass. I saw

him after at the cigar. I had to talk him. I was right there. I had to talk him off the he wanted to beat the fuck. I love James battered to the fucking man. Poor Swaris got his sweating. He ruled. Yeah. I just Swarres. Did I say what happened when Swarres on the boat? What boat? What boats are you going on?

What boat? He's getting fucked and sucked on all these boats and coasts. So when we did the gas this little trip, dude, this is fucking great. I can't believe we did it. This never made it back to the regs. Forgetting that Swares. on the regs, this should have been a regs original. Bobby brings them all in.

Bobby goes scouts him. Paco, you can chime in as well because you were there and I want to just make sure that I get the story right. So we rented a big like catamaran, like for the whole crew, like 20 of us, private catamaran. Shout out James McKean. And then, uh, who fucking murdered on StoryWords. Yeah, he's the best.

One of the funniest moments ever. He brought him into our lives and I. Ari pulls out, Ari pulls out his dick. And then McCann's like, all right, we're doing this. He pulls out his dick, right? James He's just a little Reddick

Then we We listen we do We go to plugs And I was like look If you guys want to watch the show Uncensored Uncensored And ad free on guest digital

Just subscribe And he was like what Uncensored That's so That's so With all of the seriousness He was like What fuck is he doing

Take his day He talks about being a Catholic All the fucking time He was just in the moment. It's the second time he's been in the moment. He got in the moment in Austin once. It was fucking, one of the funniest,

like, real genuine, like, that moment of finding out, it's the, oh, that. But what it swore is that? All right, so we get this luxury catamaran. You know, they fucking dock it somewhere, and we're like, there's an upper deck you could jump from, and, like, you know,

like, you know, it's like, none of you should be doing that. No, no, we're all, like, it's all fucking, like, the shapes of the gas is a little group. Just looks like circle, Okay, employees fleeing. I mean, Sarah. The only attractive person is Seraphina.

Me and Ralph are weird shapes. Like, we're all, everyone's weirdly shaped on this group. Serafina, I think, has this sick kink where she just likes being around you guys, and she's like, I'm a hot chick. And she's like, look at you doughy pieces of shit. Dude, I'd fucking, dude, I'd fucking, anyway.

She works for me. It's crazy. Anyway, so. Dude, I'm telling you right now we're going to be character witnesses. Where's Hot Grace when you need her? So, I hope Grace is a salt. See you the next time. Let's go, Grace.

Grace rules. Smack me in the face, spin my mouth. What? What? No. Bobby, reel him in. Mike Suarez. What is that?

I'm going to weigh him. Who's that a fish? Yeah, I just do the fish, dude. You get silly Lewis on the reg, which is a very rare tree. Drew. Anytime I do skanks, I come in late, and he's like, I'm like, crazy. Crane him down to be fine.

He's like, Fucked up, doggy. Hey, so today we're gonna watch you. Are you in like a bad mood? Yeah, I got that fucking shit going on. We got videos of executions. Fucking Jay,

fucking Jay's fucking piss me off. I don't know if Jay told you this. We're going to do songs to executions. But the thing is, you have to get an N-word into every line of the song. Also, we're going to start a chant that's just the N-word. All right, all right.

So. Mike Chores. We're jumping off this catamaran, right? And, you know, we're all doing our thing. Like, there's no athlete. Somebody's doing, like, back flips or anything crazy. I, I'm imagining a lot of the sound of skin sliding off the sound. You know?

Like, fat feet. A lot of feet slipping off the rail. It's the least hot boat. Like, you think a boat party is going to be like, hot bitch, you shake your eyes? It's just a mutant. It's the worst guy. Was blind Mike there? The guy's just the guy who's

Right He jumped Everybody like Scale the side The captain's like Whoa whoa whoa Hey buddy Hey buddy

Why do they call you blind Mike He goes I'm just gonna jump off the top Real quick You're right if I jump off the top Y That's why Dong

Why they call you blind Mike Look it right at Yeah What? He goes, I didn't know you're standing there. You made the gas digital boys walk the plank. Oh, fuck. So there's like a, there's like a lily pad.

You know what a lily pad is, right? Like the big thing that they like hang, like they tie it onto the boat. But like, you know, it's a huge one. Like, you know, eight, ten people. Like a raft. Yeah, like the side onto the back of the boat. We're all just kind of like chilling on it, right? Everyone's just having drinks.

Your fucking crew sucks. The crew stinks. So we're like, you know, the boat's here. We're on the little pedal, like, in a crew talk, you know, right? And, you know, we're like, yeah, somebody's like, wait. We're like, yeah, Natalie, she jumps, pshah, I'm cool. We start talking again. Swares goes on.

He's, he's, he's, 300 pounds. He's 350 pounds. He's a big boy. Oh, no. He's like swarrest. He jumps, big splash. We're like, ah. You do one of these on the living back.

We start talking. You know waves in the ocean? You know, you know, see if he comes back up? So, no, we're not even looking. So we're talking, I'm talking to Alex and Sarah Feene and we're all sitting there. And then, like, I see Alex, like, look over there. She's like, is Svarez okay? This is two minutes later.

He's like, Eswar is okay. He's hanging onto a buoy on the side of the boat. going no he's not no he's not no he's not no he's not just gas me for breath

he's dying you know Louis I have the files on me that is a nightmare think of your last like you're trying to get the gas digital employees attention they're all like

Lewis dude I'm looking their credit Lewis is laying on his side He goes, and that's where the name body brain came to me. I was just in my hot tub. And I said, what do I want to improve with coffee? Body and brain.

Ten junkies on a lily pad. And you're fucking like, for real, please. The definition of no one's coming to save you. I'm sure they looked at them a couple of times. Yeah, they probably went like this. I'm tripping so hard, Suarez is drowned. Dude, it was, who got him out? Was it Ralph?

Yeah, Ralph was there. Ralph was, take my head. Hold my head. What is the big white dog from Neverending story? Dude, this shit was so fucking, I mean, God damn it was funny. Did he do a lot of spitting and going like, duh? I guess he said that it was, why did he say he couldn't swim? Because he could swim.

Because he's 350 pounds. Was he already tired? Is that what it was? He couldn't get it to the boat. How far out? Yeah, he was just big and heavy and exhausted. Yeah. Dude, the feeling to be.

You sink. If you jump in, you get deeper than you thought. He's a big boy. Big boy jumping off drunk like that. He goes, he's so out of shape that like he went, he's so heavy, he went down. And by the time he got back up, he was already running out of the van. The boat had left. He slowly floats

Just with that one beam of light That comes through water That's bad Swares just sees that one beam of light And loose On the side of a lily pad Don't he swarres jump I thought he jumped

Dude that fat fuck fucking Hatterball Anyways I was thinking about eating lobster With M&Ms when I get back to the mainland You guys think they'd be mad If they put chocolate in the lobster Is that one beam of light still coming down in the water?

Remember when in snatch he gets punched and he falls back? That's what Suarez did, find his way back up. But he's okay. He's alive. I talked to him this weekend. Can we set the fucking senior? It's three. Where does three friends hanging out?

And two. One. All right, let's take a quick moment. I think one of our sponsors, my company, Body Brain Coffee. Guys, have you seen the research on testosterone levels? I'd say, no. Men's testosterone has been declining for decades. Really?

Between, like, stress and sleep and getting older. A lot of guys just don't feel as sharp and energized as they used to. I know, I don't. That's why I've been checking out body brain coffee. What's that? It's not just coffee. They've packed it with ingredients that are actually backed by research. Yeah, and I know I didn't know about it 10 seconds ago,

but you've got Lions Main for Focus and Cognitive Support. Oh, you mean that thing you didn't know about? Now you're being cocky. Ashwaganda? Are you fucking kidding me? You got Ashwagana to help manage stress. Says the most stressed out guy. He's like, my life's in Buck and Shamp.

That's not in the script. He goes, oh my God. Thank God I got this Tongat Ali. Yeah, thankfully I've got Tongat Ali to support healthy testosterone levels and L-theonine. So you get smooth energy without feeling all jittery. It's basically your morning coffee with a serious upgrade. And guess what? Guess what, Shane?

The coffee. tastes great. It doesn't taste like you. It's not the line. Can we take that again? Hold on. Relax. We get improv a little bit. He's not going to be good. It's real coffee that we still like. I was told direct from the script. Buddy, the coffee itself is great. You're not choking down some supplement drink. It tastes like real premium coffee while giving you ingredients to people that already are taking separately. You're taking it together. You're saving time. Can I give notes about my section? It just feels like I'm just listing stuff. I don't feel like my character has any. Improved a little bit. I was told to go directly on the script. No, I mean, I said use the script.

No, this is what I was told. Dan, do what you did on billions. Right. Beautiful. Great. Do that. If you're looking for better focus, yeah.

Drops in. Oh, I feel it. Because while you've been sitting here talking about this, I've invested 75% in the short of body brain coffee. Shorting body brain. While Lewis has been doing, I've been shorter. And I'll tell you right now, I've just taken public. a new Insta coffee called Big Head Body Butt.

It makes your body feel like butt. Now that's a fucking good idea. Shane, I want you to really nail this next line. I love Body Brain Coffee, and you will too. Head over to BodyBraincoffee.com and use promo code regs 20 to save 20% off on your first order. Oh, Bobby, just apologize for all of them. What is in all this? What the fuck could I do this?

Talk about. Horse shit. You know it. You told us. StarCad Ali. And maybe just will one more time for a clean little Ilai coffee and Gibraltarvo. You're being Darvo. Hey, I'm here to let you know this is a support group. Well, better yet, you know, you can just subscribe.

You'll automatically save 20% give free shipping and never run out of body brain. That's bodybrain coffee.com promo code regs 20. Thanks, guys. All right, where were we? It's just me. We got a lot of ads. You're taking social media posts. I love

Biddybrink everywhere. You should put Shane's eyes on the package. That's what that guy did when he gave me an extra LL. He like made an exercise hat. He goes, could you a quick video? I was in my hotel on the road and I go, hey, I love this XL cap.

And he was just on my Instagram. Stop. And then people are like, sort of better have got paid for this. I go, I got a free. Dolphins had that happened to me with the fucking pillow Yeah with your son they use it with your son which was crazy I did it with I goes just Do a little story I put a story up with me and Max they used it as their campaign ad for a year

Yeah like paid paid ads like it would come up like my page you and your son They you I did it once they sent Max wanted the pillows yeah I like these pills I will send you some just do a little bit You know max did it that pillow Actually we had to just throw it out Hey damn it was pretty straight brick because you could fold it in half And it was a wolf. That's so funny. We just had to throw it out.

Because people were fucking it. I don't know if there was a gang of people. All those friends were just fucking. Dude, you gotta come over, dude. Come hit the wolf pillow. He goes, you won't get kicked out of class tomorrow. Dude helps us snoring. It's great.

Right, three, two, one. All right, guys, let's take a quick moment. It's like Mitt Mobile for supporting the show. Your wireless bill shouldn't be hiding anything. And Mint Mobile get you great wireless service. us at one low, transparent price, no gimmicks or gotchas, just fast and reliable coverage. Unlimited talk, text, and data on the nation's largest 5G network and all Mint mobile plans are just $15 a month. No BS, nothing hidden. That's that, Dan.

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There's no catch. Bobby hit him with it. You do this part. Up front payment of $45 for three months required. $90 for six months or $180 for 12 months, equivalent to $15 a month. Tax and fees extra. Initial plan terms only, greater than 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy. It's up to 20 gig by a hot spot.

Cable device required. Availability, speed, and coverage varies. Yeah, I would have never made that. Seamette Mobile.com for details. Good job. What to fucking dip it back in. I invited Bobby to the next family vacation. The Gomez family vacation?

No. The Gomez. Well, that's, you know, Gomez-Kelly, whatever my sister's last name is now. Are you going to bring a girl or is it just family? He's bringing a girl. He's bringing a girl. We can't go.

Do you want to guess her birth year? You can't? If you bring a girl, we can't go. Obama was in office. I did meet a girl. Oh my God, he was president when I was born. You go. We can't go.

If there's a wild card, we can't. Can I tell you why? The problem is I met a girl that I do like, and there's no way we're getting to December without going to Jamaica together. Oh, my God. It finds you. Yeah, if it's just family, we'll go.

Lewis opens the window, just hears steel drums. Do you hear still drums? She goes, no, I don't hear anything. I just hear the wind. He's like, you don't hear stil drums and smoke for chicken. That's a steel drop. I grab that bag of money under my bed that I need to wash in Jamaica? So all the regs money just goes straight to you?

Yeah, in Jamaica. You didn't like that one? I thought you got mad about it. Oh, no, they make all that. Bobby's the one who sold the regs money. I never sold the money. Damn, this is what he does. Before you got here, they were telling me about it.

This is the star of all. I steal the regs. Oh, because of bodyburn coffee. Yeah. I stole. All of it. I said all of it. I said all of it.

I said you take all of it. And Bobby, Joe, and I make very little. And then I explained you do the Darvo method of abuse. Bring up Darvo, if you could, for our friend Lewis here to understand. I know Darvro.

That's how you convict yourself? You go, yeah, I know that. What's the Darvo method? It is, deny, attack, reverse victim, and offender. You really do you. This is the Louis J. Gomez style of business.

He goes to deny and then attack. Well, you guys don't, how much fucking money do you guys have? You guys don't need it. Oh, so really? After all I'm done for you. After on the podcast, he goes, so I put in this $20,000 sauna that washes my own feet. Reverse the victim where he goes, I didn't have burned. The perpetrator flat out denies the wrongdoing.

And it never occurred. Perpetrator is a great thing to call me. You are the perpetrator. Real ass dude. Porter Wrigger around. I was like, the perpetrator. It's time for the perpetrator. The perpetrator, baby.

The perp for short, dude. What's up? I appreciate that. That's awesome. Perpetrator is the point. Dude, by the way, this feels like when we're there when you dubbed them the comites. This feels historically. It's time for the perpetrator.

Perpetrators in town. Yeah. I know your style of kung fu now. The perpetrator attacks the person who confronted them. This is you. It's so you. I've been on the receiving end of this. There's so many times.

Once you see, you go, holy shit. I might be only able to do Skank Fest for one day. I think I might do SNL. Fuck you. Oh, no, it's right. My festival is going to fail. If that's the way you remember my fucking conversation, you lying piece of fuck now, you'll notice. That was the deny that it ever happened.

The deny? Can I say this? You turned down SNL for Skangfest, which was awesome. But also, maybe the most. punk rock and rock and rock and roll thing you've ever done that the the amount of fucking like like love you have people that will take bullets for you now you think the s and l people are taking bullets for you oh lewis we have people though Shane couldn't be here he's doing skank fest

he's on a cruise dude he's like a huge floren's like a huge lewis guy I'm a go mite a lot of people don't know this I watch him from a farm you wouldn't uh he uses darvo you're not gonna come I respect if you go if you go with a family we might go but I can't bring my family with some. But if I'm dating a girl from now until December. We have to, I can't, we have to meet her. We can't smell her butt. Where's the trip?

Jamaica. No, the family trip is we rented two villas in Jamaica. Yeah. And I told Abby he doesn't have to pay for anything. Really? Just his flights. He just got to meet a young slut. You got to bring a woman for me.

You can have gone. I go, honestly, it's the racism. It's a problem with Lewis, but it's more the trafficking. that I really hate. You must bring me a young, nubile woman. Let me see the fruit. Let me see the fruit you have brought me. Who is it? Your sister, James, your aunt?

My sister, my aunt, Beatrice, James, Bianca. Who's, oh, Bianca? Bianca. Yeah. Yeah, that's great. But not some rogue chick, we don't know. If I brought a woman, it would be not a rogue chick. Rogue chick.

It's insane. It's going to be a rogue chick. It's going to be a rogue chick We don't know her We can't go with a wild card I can't I've already done that You can't you can't

We have to meet her Know her that we get along No she's not gonna eat All the fucking avocado off everything And she's not gonna ruin the trip Is that a thing that happened? Yeah Yeah

I went we went with Me and Mycotta We had a family trip last minute He's like hey you mind If Joey's girlfriend comes And we're like I guess This is such a specific thing

Yeah I can't you know what's It's not gonna happen to me again I went on a trip and somebody ate all the fucking avocado It will not It's like a victim of sexual abuse Where I go

Hey something happened dude Yeah Mike Halta He immediately went into it As fucking girl jelly Proff We brought It was just a

We didn't know her And I'm like All right I guess And she wound up being a dud Just come out in the living room She's just on the couch Just sitting there And then we'd eat

And like we We all paid for a chef To make us this amazing meal We got this amazing Airbnb And then he'd puts the salad down on the table for everybody. Yeah. You and Calta.

She takes... Doggin. You guys, oh, salad. You can't... Motherfucker, I don't do me choke. You thought of you and Calta going, move! I want the part with the carrots and onions. She literally just took the whole, all the avocado.

She goes, I love all of it. And put it on her plate and just ate avocado. And we were... I was like, other people like fucking avocado, too. I don't want to have to do. that move. You know what I mean? I don't have to deal with that shit over and over.

Anyway we went, are we done? It's like, fuck off. If Lewis brings a rogue woman on this trip. She has to be cool. I'm going to Venmo her $1,000 to eat all the avocado. For sure.

I will venmo her immediately $1,000. Eat all the fucking avocado. If you see an avocado on Bobby's plate, oh, you mind if I have a... I don't care how much it is. Eat the lighter thing in one bite. And honestly, I'll double it.

You take it off his own plate? I'll double it. We're going to have a little bone You don't say anything. You just go to Bobby. I'll fucking slap her in the face. Louis goes out of the face. Louis goes out of the podcast is over.

Yeah, dude, I don't know, Bobby short-armed Larry ended up a woman. Yeah, you can't, you can't go on vacation with families and have some person nobody knows. Or they might be gone soon. You got to know, you can't just know some hot chick to show up. But if it's just family. It would just be family. Yeah.

I think you'd bring the bed. Did you see the... Shut the fuck up. No, you don't bring the bag. You know, you don't even know her. I do. You do? What's your name?

Uh, R. Dude, I just want... I just want... I just want the shot of Lewis's face going, I want that said, don't fucking say.

What are you doing? Don't say, don't say it. Don't say, what are you doing? It's like, what are you doing? You're doing it. You can get some fucking kill. I said no guts. Yeah, I said no guts.

What the fucking... You just shot him in the face He was looking at me I'm sweating Hey guy The AC Yeah the AC I don't know who the fuck

Oh you guys keep it off No he makes it shut off Because he gets cold It's so hot in here It's hot as hell I'm sweating my balls up Can we get another coffee Are you important in the industry

Or you a loser Who are you? Why are you yelling at a guy That doesn't even work for us He seems pretty fucking nice Honestly Are you new grades I swear to God

He looks like a young He works for you You work for me me. You? I don't, I don't work. Are you the guy from your mom's house? No.

Parker, you're inviting random homosexual men into our studio? I hope he beats your ass, dude. We're bisexual, but yes. I hope he's like a golden gloves champ and he just hits you with a three and you're out. He's fucking out. Yeah, you just wake up and he's right to you. But it'll be the one where it's like, I don't fall right away. And then I'm like, you have to put your fist down and go, hey God.

Stop real quick. Stop real quick. Hey guys, that guy 1-21 man. I'm not seeing good right now. Shit, I got the AEC. Thank you. It's much better.

I would love another coffee, but I don't want a whole other latte. Get me a medium hot coffee with a little bit of cream and two pumps of sugar-free caramel. Paco, give me a tissue, please. I'll just, got what I got the first time. Can I get a small or a medium cold brew?

Yeah. Fired up. Fuck it all. I have an anxiety attack. That's always, by the way. Great. Every time you leave the regs, you get alone, and then you have a little bit of an anxiety attack about what you said. Where you go?

Fuck, I drink so much coffee and I was talking a lot. Dude, those protect our parts. Oh, yeah. You guys are doing, fuck. You guys are drunk and doing drugs. Like six hours. On mushrooms, you go, ooh, the end of that. The first, like, five we ever did every single time, it would be like, drink 20 beers, and then by the end of it, it's like, dude, throw up this Hitler speech.

We all sit quietly. You go, you got to admit, he's a hell of a speaker. You go, you know what? Turns out. It's the same thing, every episode. We went online and all bought access of evil costumes. Oh, fuck. And Joe puts on R. Kelly.

We did the exact same episode like 10 times. Because we kept blacking out. When you're in the loop. I looked at Bobby last episode and I go, I think we're in a loop. We're in a loop. We're in a fucking loop. Because then it just inspires the same story from you. Somebody will tell the story and be like, I got a story that's like that.

And then the guy. Well, one of the ideas that Paco had, which I did like, or me and Paco came together was we would have. Put yourself in there at the end. Well, you know, Pacco said we need to change. Paco was the catalyst for change. He's Barry Gordy. Yeah, I own.

Because that's a good song. Diana Ross. My song. No, he said, or one of the ideas we had was we could have the producers introduce a topic each week on the show. All right. And then we either do the topic and enjoy it or we trash the producer. That's great. Excellent thinking, Paco.

Yeah. Well, I think that was my idea, but Paco was a catalyst that made me come up with you. Why don't you let us hear it before you claim. He's your inspiration. Pacco, is that what happened, or did you actually come up with the idea, or did I come up with it? Be honest. He can't. He came up with it.

He's terrified. He's terrified. Why is Paco afraid of you? Because he runs gas digital, like, North Korea. I will hit him. If Paco doesn't say that Lewis created the sun in the stars, Lewis Keynes it. Shot of 36 the other day. Fucking guy.

He got a hole in once. It's crazy. Kim John Un does look like he's living the greatest life. Why don't he goes, you know, I'm the best basketball player in this country? It's like when Putin, when Vladimir Putin plays hockey with the Russian hockey team, and they're like, whoa, and he's like, slap shot, goal. It's like seven goals, and they're like, you're the best hockey player ever. Why don't we do some plugs right quick?

I thought you were going to do the topic. You want to do that after? I don't think they have topics. We didn't introduce, yeah, we wanted to talk. Oh, so you just have the idea. Well, I'm just, Paco. There was other ideas we discussed as well? Yeah, we had a couple.

I have a few topics, I think, since Danny is not here, and this is the first. time we're doing it. Joe's writing a couple down. We'll do it on the next show. I think that's fun. We're rolling. We're having a good time. I have another topic as well. My life is in shambles. So your life is in shambles. My life is in shambles. You're all tan. You seem like you're doing

great. Yeah, dude. You're going to vacations. You have a fucking out of a fucking out of the pool and a fucking sauna. You got your own festival. You got a boat cruise coming up. Look at your way. You got a skank fest at sea happening. He's like, scroll back up. Scroll back up.

Come see me live in the road, guys. Rattle me this tour this weekend. This is coming out next week, right? Yeah. Yeah. So come see me. Denver Comedy Works, for the first time ever, Comedy Works South, July 24th. And 25th.

Very excited about this. Come see me there. Then right after that, Lafayette, Louisiana, Lake Charles, Louisiana, Fort Lauderdale, Florida, Portland, Maine, and more. Website is Lewis of Skanks.com. And check out all the other pods that we do, Legion of Skanks, Realist Podcast, StoryW. Go to Shane Gillis.

dot com to see dan soter yeah dude is that still working i think i don't know shay gillis dot com we'll bring it to dan so if you go to shane gillis who did that melissa i don't know who did that but there's a bonfire fan from back in the day yeah so funny got got shane gillis dot com and reroutes to dan soder dot combs and shame and she became the biggest comic in the world you should pass it around to all the comments we should get his website for like six months each and it's also i didn't even think about it and i go oh yeah my my crowds have grown substantial.

It should have fucking known this. But also, if you love the show, get the uncensored and ad-free version of the show on gas digital.com. Use a promo code Rags, R-E-G-Z. Save a couple bucks a month. It supports the show directly. And, yeah, you get the on-de-band library. You get pre-release on the episodes. That's the best way to enjoy a podcast.

You don't like YouTube ads and censorship. That's crazy. We like it. Lame. New York Comedy Club. I'm going to be in Stanford, Connecticut, July 16th through the 18th. And then Montreal, just for laughs. Added a late show at Club Soda. on July 25th

and then Albany Funny Bone Whoop, whoop. Oh yeah. July 31st and August 1st. Did you cry? I'm going to bring Sag Daddy Duggawd Dan Soder.com for all live dates.

Thank you. Listen to Soter the podcast. Thank you very much. Robert Kelly. I'm going to be, I got one show this summer. I'm taking the whole summer off. So I got one show, the music hall, lounge in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. One night on the 25th.

I got two shows. then I'm going to Saratoga for the comedy festival out there, September 11th and 12th, and then I'm at the Brooklyn Improv for the first time. I guess they have an improv out there. Yeah. Brand new. September 26th.

And then I'm going down to Florida of Asanis in October, going back to Boston on October. Go to punchup. Live slash Robert Kelly. For all my tour dates, my specials up there for free, live from the Village Underground, and a bunch of uncensored shit.

So make sure you go there and click on that. And that's it. Shane? July 17th, I'll be in Philadelphia and August 8th, Charleston, South Carolina. Yeah, fuck yeah. And bring up Joe's dates. We'll plug Joe's dates.

Joe List will be in Austin, Texas living there because he moved there. What a pussy. There it is. There we go. I had it. Joe List is going to be in Philadelphia at helium in October. Oh, here we go.

Tacoma Comedy Club, July 23rd. through the 25th, and then he's going to be at Helium Comedy Club in Portland, August 13th through the 15th. Catch him at the Funny Bone in St. Louis, August 20th through August 22nd. Joe, also go to punchup. That Live slash Joe List.

Comedy? No. I think it's just Joe List. Punchup.com. What is just Joe List for all his footlights and all that? What are you doing? What is this? It's a babe.

What kind of vaid? Weed. What is this? Weed, babe. Where'd you get this? We'd be up store? I'm gonna tell Alan. I tell Alan what, that I'm fucking awesome?

Be blowing a fucking weed in my feet. I didn't blow it in your face. I don't know that shit. I smoke my own, dude. I don't want to fucking love your weird shit. All right, my life is in the shambles. Yeah, why? Because you fuck so good and tropical places?

Because I fuck so good and get a tan. I'm too tan and my dick's too wet. Because I bronze up and fuck. I can't stop getting fucking balls deep and hot snooze. I don't know. I'm smacking ass. I don't know about you guys, but. No, why's your life in Shambles?

Do you darrow at someone? I would be found that way to do you? I'll never. If I had known what buying a house was when I bought a house. Uptown prop. I would have bought a condo. Oh, my God. Why?

Why would you have bought a condo? Why? What the fuck, Lou? Dude, what the fuck? Starting a sentence. Now I don't want to start that stuff. Actually, this is... It's a strong of training to stop me from interrupting.

This is like when Caesar Malo goes, I'm the papalita. He go, wala, I go, I just sit. Why, what? La, la, la. Whatever, dude. It was a crazy sound that came out of your face. My car started weird.

My car started. I'm sorry. Yeah, dude So I thought this was my sister I blame my sister for flooding my basement Oh, Jesus. Because she, uh... She's squirder.

She's... She's... Ha! What the fuck happened to her? How do you blame your sister for my base? She stole of piss. She said the worst of his own. It's full of 90% piss, apparently.

It's the most erotic time of all her. Yeah. Um, no. Uh, so she was like, in my backyard, like doing some shit. Like, I paid her to clean my house. She called me. She's like, can you tell your cleaning lady to stay home for two weeks?

Because I need Bunny. She got fired from her job. And I was like, all right, fine. So I lied to my cleaning lady. And I was like, yeah, I'm, you know, I'm going to be out of the house for two weeks. I don't need you. Because it's your sister, isn't it? This is another Spanish woman that needs money?

Is your sister coming over and cleaning? Be honest with me. Say somebody else. Luis. Luis, me. Are you using someone else? My cleaning lady's great, dude. Oh, baby.

I'm going to be messy in two weeks. She's great. She never complained. She gets everything done. She does all the laundry. She folds it. She's fucking, you know, just, she's dope. Yeah, she's a cleaning lady.

Sometimes cleaning ladies don't do laundry. All right. So this one, she's, and she always does it. She comes all day, never complains. Great rate. Everything's good. Never a fucking problem. My sister comes.

She fucking... It's your sister. You can't hide... He wants an employee. One does it professionally. It's kind of, it's in their blood. Thank you. I would have expected her to do a great job.

She should take naturally. No, she's a good cleaner, but she'll just fall short, right? She'll be like, hey, I'm done. Or she'll like, I'm almost done. Can you send me the money? Or she'll always, I'm like, all right, fine, we'll do this. She'll be like, all right, can you send me the money for the next two weeks right now? That's crazy.

I think your cleaning lady should find out about it and do that. It's crazy. Pay me for two weeks. She's like, tell you cleaning that's coming. This is on Thursday. The next two Mondays is the cleaning lady supposed to come. She's like, tell them, come, I'll dog sit for you, and I'll clean.

She was like, I was like, all right, fine, we can do it? She was like, okay you send me all the money right now? And how to go? So, she doesn't finish cleaning. There's all this laundry done. There's just like piles and piles of laundry. But then what she does is she leaves the hose on in the backyard on the... Yeah, she definitely flooded the base.

Grass. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like, where do you think that goes? Two hours. Because, you know, basement's under grass? I thought basement was different from grass. Basement is grass.

I don't know how I was thinking a basement was up, up, but it was over? Over, base, basement. Base. Base. Oh, basement. She goes, Mr. Lewis, we covered this week one. The basement below. You think basement below, B, B, B, attic above.

She's also giving you elementary school lessons while she's there. Circle, no going square, only a circle. Yeah. So your sister just put the hose on and fucking left the hose on the ground. you know, see us into the ground. Then next night we get a crazy rainstorm. Like a crazy rainstorm. Oh, that's probably also what did it.

Two hours of a hose now. But listen. Listen. Sorry. You're right. Was the hose on leftover night or just a few hours? No, like two hours. Oh. It didn't put. That's not flooding. Listen, when I came out, there was a puddle this thick, like on top of the grass. It was crazy.

And then I turned the hose off. And then within, within four minutes, it went. It went somewhere. All of that water went somewhere. Maybe it wasn't her. I have no idea. All I know is it rained that night. I didn't check the basement.

Yeah. The next day I go to, uh, work out in my, my basements to the gym. And I just fucking just, toes deep in water, like just the entire, how deep was the water? In the center, it just got like a little shimmer. But on the sides, it was like pulled up. Oh. Yeah.

And you have an uneven floor. So then, I mean, I mean, he's got shit floors in that day. Yeah, you got to redo the floors, man. So. You got to get a French drain, dude. I call my sister. Yeah, I've had one of those.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. A nasty bitch She's a nasty bitch You went to Montreal Yeah Oh I went to super sex before it closed down Nasty ass bitches

So I call my sister Every name that you can call a woman I mean Just Just I mean just the anger Like I can't like I'm just spitting it through the phone Just real

Were you in the water? still? I never knew really understood what is real man. He was just, he's just, he's just splashing around out. A rubber duckie floats by. You fucking bitch! Why are you being so mean to it? You blamed her? I blamed her. What was it going on with that rain?

Listen. I look the, she's like a detective. Clearly the rain. Well, hold on. I called the guy to come in. I called a plumber. And he was like, he was like, look, you know, there's really no way to really tell. He was like, it's probably a combination of both. He goes, you got a dumb sister? Yeah, it's a dumb sister.

Your cleaning lady? Yeah. Yeah, I've seen this before. Oh, yeah, textbook dumb sister. Oh, yeah, I can tell you right now, look at these fours. You've got a stupid fucking sister. Your sister's fucking...

Yeah. Dumb sister's been here. She goes, and she gets you fucking a bear when you were a kid? Yeah, it's dumb sister. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Oh, you got a real fucking idiot for a sister, huh? I'm a real dumb, stupid bitch of a sister. So you just call her and you're like, fuck you. Yeah, she's like, it's not, I didn't do anything. Did you pay her? Did you pay her everything? Did you pay her up front? No.

That would have been so funny. But hold on. Then I had already given her, I lent her $600 that morning because she had to get unemployment. She owed money somehow to the state. It's all a scam. She's my uncle Raymond, dude. She's like, oh, if you give me this, I'll get the money back, and then you'll get this. Yeah, this is exactly.

She d'arvo. She's got her. That's what Lewis was seeing in real time. I got Darvord. Turns out the only more Kung Fu powerful than my own is my own family. The only one that can out Darvo or Gomez is another Gomez. That's their family style of karate. That literally never happened.

You've hurt me. Really? Oh, fuck. How's it so efficient? So then, you know, I buy it. Can't wait for next time you and me are in a fight to just be like, you're Darva. You're going to lose your mind, dude. You are going to fight.

Because here's the thing about Shane in his weaponry. It's not the, he has access to him so fast. He can pull it up and you go. It's very subtle, too. It doesn't come out like, it comes out like a sniper. It's the way real guys. It's the guys in the military. Slug.

Slug. Got it. I'm just walking down the street. I'm like, lights out, moosh. All you hear Shane do is just a couple clicks to check the wind. He just got him Sluck How do I get out of this dude?

I'm going to dress up like a moose Five years later He's on it's just like a fucking moose He goes, I don't know What can I live with? What can I live with? Raccoon, that's too racist I don't know

Fucking what woodland creature Can I be Moose and moose is great It's one of the hardest I've ever laughed to where I was really talking about it But it's also goes to just show you like owning it Because you were really mad

you did really leave, you did get torn. I had to fucking go, because you doharovote me that day. But you literally said, my wife, Don's, Dawn's power out. She was panicking, trying to start her to start it. But listen, listen. I fucking, I had to get to fuck out. He's the homeowner, and he understands all this. He goes, dude, fuck her.

She's fine. I'm like, she's not. And he tried to dargo. What did you do that she couldn't? I went home and started the, uh, the generator. The generator. Okay. She didn't know how to, because if you start,

if you have to do a certain thing with the box and all that. She's like, I'll do it. And was it hot out or? It was, no, the power, something happened. I forget what it was. Regardless, she called me. The point I'm making, though, is that you left actually angrily. Yeah.

I left, I was angry at you. I was angry at you. You were angry at everyone. I was not, never been angry at him. Well, he was mad about the situation. Then everyone started going on a moose. No, no. They called me a moose when I left.

Oh, that was when I left. Yeah, that's set it off. I'm glad I inspired. But, but I will say when you, like, you literally handle it the perfect way, you were getting trashed. You're showing up the next week at a moose uniform. But I waited until the end of the show.

And Mike Swore, who knows? Danny, he's like, he keeps threatening me. I'm like, what? He goes, he keeps threatening me. He's like really mad at me. I go, let it happen. I go, do you know wrestling? Let it happen. Let him get mad. He's going to fucking mad. He's going to threaten. He's not going to hit you really. He never hits anybody, really.

He's just going to pretend like he hit you. And then I came in the last second. He's getting his fucking broken nose. Thanks. I was just saying that. You fucking moose. But so your sister owed money. So I gave her money for that.

And so I technically, so now I didn't pay her for the cleaning because I deducted it from the $600. Anyway, it doesn't matter. A week later, we're getting more rain. Like crazy more rain. Now I bought, at that point, I bought a dehumidifier, like big giant

like industrial dehumidifier, giant industrial fans. My basement is, it sounds like a fucking airplane. Lou's got goggles on and earplugs. Oh, what's up? Sorry, I gotta go down to the basement. It's a wind turbine.

I see how aerodynamic I can podcast. It sounds like we're fucking like purifying copper in the basement. Oh, I'm doing crypto. Old school crypto. Or Bitcoin. So I got all this shit.

It's in your base. It's in there. It's down there. Don't worry. James, James's got one token. So then it rains again a few nights ago, like hard. We get a couple of days. Yeah, it broke that heat wave.

Flones again. Of course. The rain. So. So. Wasn't your sister. I think my sister did something. What a dance.

You did a rain dance? He goes, he goes, Puerto Rican rain dance. Just flicking a knife back and forth. Hey, rain. Better fucking rain. You fucking hear me, Cloud?

You better fucking rain. Hey, you big fat, black cloud. You better fucking rain, bro. That's so funny. James standing at a sliding glass door going, why is Anthonyis doing a rain dance? She's back there. Oh, mama.

So, she's cutting her chest. I did, I called her. I told her the truth. I was like, look, I was like, it fluttered again. I can't blame you. Fine. Good on you, though. Lewis, 10 years ago wouldn't have done that.

I had to be honest. But now I called in, like, I was like, who'd even, like, call for this? Like, it's not a plumbers job. No, you have to get a French strange. You got to get them all around your house. That house flooded before you moved in there. They knew that.

Oh, they knew that. They just redid the floors before you came. I have a sub pump, but it's not getting to the sub pump. It's coming up through the flooring. Your sub pump is probably not working. I had to get a new sun pump in my old house. No, sub pump works. We tested it.

And then you got to get French trains all around the back. So I called it a company. Their whole job is waterproofing basements. And I'm assuming that's what they're cutting a drain. I don't know they didn't call it a French train, but it's like they show up the whole process. He goes, no one calls it that. You know, I talk to the experts.

You're out of your own. You don't know a fucking thing that you're talking about. You're saying fucking pure nonsense. So you know, you're a fucking idiot. Back to my story. You say an absolute fucking nonsense. No, he calls it that. He just checks them.

By the way, I've been on site for two days. No, it calls with that. I haven't heard it once. Not even in passing. But I'm also thinking to the people. Bring it up. Bring up French grain. I'm thinking to the people.

I'm thinking of the people that. Yes. Yep. Hey. Bobby, Bobbo. I had to get a bunch of them. Bobby, but I'm thinking of the people that sold Lewis the house, and every time it rains, they go, he just texted.

I don't think this. That's not what they're doing. They're doing, like, inside of the house. They're going to go, like, this fucking guy. This guy's fucking dumb pulling. This guy was impressed with a pool. This guy has his dumb sister cleaning his house. This guy can do anything.

We can do anything. This guy's a fucking dumb ass. This guy's fucking idiot. This guy like the bushes. Hey, why is this fan pointed at this fan? This fucking idiot. He's fucking just pushing the back and forth. Guys, we can fucking clean this guy out.

Guys are fucking idiot. He runs body brain. He goes, whoa. I saw some pouches of body brain up there. Mentally, this guy might have the edge. You think this is Louis J. Gomez? So you have to get fucking four French strains. So they have to essentially.

They're cutting like trenches around the inside. They have to pull up the floor, like two feet of drywalling, like the entire, like... You get black mold if you don't. Oh, black mold. Black mold. Are you, I mean... And black mold is extra dangerous. It's like black squirrel.

You don't want any black mold in your house, if you know what I mean. How long is your house going to be under construction or siege? Yeah, now that they're re fucking bait. I don't know. they got to reseal your house. They said it's like 10 days. They said 10 days. Did they warn you if it goes,

if it rains, by the way, that's another. Oh, yeah. If it rains, the entire house is collapsing. You're going to, you're going to wash away. I'm going to tell you right now. You got all the floors where he'd done. Just before they put the drains in, it just rains again. He's going to keep doing the floors over and over.

He goes, good news is, we're almost done. What's that I hear? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that's great. It's either the floor to stay. state seminals, it's your dumb bitch sister in the backyard. And apparently and we're miles away from Tallahatchie. And apparently she picked up a drummer.

No, Donaz, why are you doing this? So yeah, I have to get my my basement waterproofed. It's good that you do that, though, because it's so expensive. It's not as expensive as I thought it would be, but it's expensive. It's like, yeah, it's thousands.

It's like, yeah, it's like 15 G. And they're putting the drains in the back of the house. 15 years ago. Oh my god. But when they showed me the video of like what they're doing and I was like, oh, this is like building a new house.

Like whatever like, I was like this is going to be insane. And it's expensive but Waterproofing your basement costs $24,200 on average. Damn. I knew you were getting fucking pleased.

There's a lot of. Oh my God. Oh my God. Dude, I didn't know you look up the front. Hold on. Hold on. Interior waterproofing Civilian has been 3,012. thousand go down.

Sisters can't get rain after it enters the basement. Yeah, and so on interior French drains and it's up. Wow. Wow. Yeah, I'm the first one of all of us who owned a house. Yeah. Yeah, for real. That's why you got the great deal. Also, where I live

is I guaranteed on the way higher end. You got to make sure because I found out. I should get a second opinion. You should get, you should make sure there's no mold because when you when underneath my house, I had to do all that bullshit. And I had a crawl space. Oh, I'm sure they're going to open up.

They're going to be like, ah, so good news, we opened it up. Hey, bad news. It's all black mold. It's a lot of black mold. Turns out this house isn't even walls. It's just mold. Because if they have this problem. You don't live in a giant piece of mold.

Yeah. You don't got a kid. You're not developing? Your sister doesn't happen to know a mole thing. What did you? Is she just into voodoo? She's done this whole thing into skin. This whole house is skin.

Yeah, you have to, we had, when we were selling the house underneath. because of the moisture there was black mold. We had to either pay, you have to pay, that's expensive to get that shit out. That's why when you buy a house, they're like, they're like, if you tell them you don't have to inspect it, you'll be one of the top bidders. You're like, well, why don't they want to do inspect it?

Oh, so it costs me $50,000 when I buy it? That's like a, that's a technique they use in selling houses. Yeah, we had to take that money off of the, at the price they gave us. We had to take that off for them to do it, which is we lucked out. I'm going to, if, when I look at houses, I'm going to say, no ghost, no mold. That's what I'm checking for.

No ghost, no mold, no water. No ghost, no water. Water basement shit is the worst. It's the fucking worst. But, you know what? After I get this basement waterproofed. Your roof is going to leak. That happened to me.

Saturday night, we were hanging out. Thank God. Weep, dude. Saturday night, we were hanging out. We were hanging out at my house. We were just starting to watch a movie. We just got to pee. It was like, this is the best.

All of a sudden, it was raining out. Just water started dripping through all the life pictures. I had to go on the roof and put a tarp over the roof in the middle of the craziest. You almost got superpowers. You would have got struck by lightning and then you'd be levitating. Were you fat back then? I was fat. Oh, fat body.

Must have been. Santa Claus. This is how he practiced. Neighbor's kid was looking out of the window. It is real. He's like 14 years old. Dad, what is Santa doing August? Dad, what is Santa doing August?

Is that the moose? Yeah. I had to go on the roof. I had a huge 40-foot tarp. Oh, dude, big fat Bobby cussing. I had to put a tarp out. The worst part is I had to take all the sandbags off the basketball hoop I had to hold down the tarp. Oh, no.

And the next day, when I went to move the basketball, it just smashed into my truck. The car? No. Yeah, dude. I just got rid of my basketball hoop for that reason. It was like, it was just that, me and James haven't touched it in six years. Like, it's just been, we've owned a basketball hoop that we've looked at. You know how good James could be if you just put in time of him? Oh, he's like six feet taller.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's so goofy when it comes to, like, playing with balls. A-o. A-ho. A-o. He's got no, he's got no coordination with the balls. Yeah, okay. It's a good thing.

But he can fight. He could do jihitsu, he can box. He's getting really good. Yeah. Yeah, you got to make sure you get your roof check out. Which is weird. Why? It's weird that he doesn't have the coordination to, like, dribble the basketball.

Dude, hitting, you're going to Little League with James was pure hell. I told, I was like, you're talking. terrible. I was like, quit. I swear to God, I told him. Can I tell you right now? That was the first time I stink at sports, but I'm okay at neighborhood sports. But for some reason, you put me in organized sports and I lock up. I was pretty good at baseball when I'd be playing the neighborhood. And then I joined this from McDaniel got me to join Little League in eighth grade.

And I was like, I'll play. I sucked. And there was these two kids that were nerds. They were twins. They were nerds at my middle school. And they were nasty at baseball. and they would bully me, they'd go,

we're gonna call him 007 because that's as bad and get ridged. I was like, fuck you, you fucking idiots. Those kids were,

they were hilarious twins. They were like so, they were like autistic. They were like, autistic, but dude, they hit like Ichiro. It was fucking crazy.

Max sucked at baseball too. He would sit in the field and just sit down and left field. That's great. You'd have to yell it. Your kid was the sitting. That's crazy.

All of a sudden, all of a sudden, that kid needs to be hit. Look at the bug. What have you known? I wasn't a liability in the field. I heard the coach screaming. Max, he was up at bat, and I looked over.

He took all the practice balls, and he brought a Sharpie from the house. And he was signing autographs and handing it to the people in the stands of the other team. How you doing, Max Kelly? You ever seen two guys? Dude. You got, he was signing slugs. Hey, now my dad's on the right. I was on baseball.

I was on Little League, but with my sister who was better than me. That is worse. That's the worst case in there. I got, I got beat by a girl pitcher and I cried. My career was, it was tough. Do you remember when fast pitch, when it first happened, when it goes from coach pitch, the player pitch, and then the first time you see a kid throw heat and you go like, what?

You go like, a kid with mustache. I never made a pass just for fun, so I only hit off the tea. Yeah, it's tee ball. Man, I remember, dude, first of all, I should you not. I could barely hit it off the tee. It was, it was tough. It wasn't easy. It wasn't easy.

It's just standing there, sure. Dude, this was like the moment I was like sports orange for me. I hit it off the tape and I ran to third base. Oh, boy. And that wasn't, I mean,

no ball enough to go to fur. It wasn't even that, it wasn't even that I did that. It was the, the, the pure, the guy, the pure cackling joy of all of the dad.

I don't have a dad, but everyone else is dead. I mean, I just saw their faces. Oh, that's sad. The funniest thing. I'd be so happy That is That is so fucking funny

Just to see the death going You go Mommy I did it You're waving from the bag And the dads were like There's still no mommy They were pointing and laughing at me Dude adult men just tackling

Dude I got fucking I wrestled when I was like five And six years old And I got beat in a tournament By a kid Because we were wrestling like Sure I live in the Denver area But you're getting kids

from farms. Farm kids are so good at wrestling. Because they've been doing work since they were three. Yeah. So this... I'm Bob Bauer with fucking their hands. Yeah, if you ever wrestled when you were younger, you knew the kids that were a problem with the kids with the buzzed heads that had six packs before everybody. You would look like you'd be a wrestling

problem, though. You have that like... You have like an anvil for a head. Yeah, you got the nose. Well, dude. You got a good... I'm going to tell you what, I got mopped up in this tournament. It was like a big tournament where there was all the different mats. This kid shoved his stupid buzz head into my face and just drove me into the ground.

And it was the first time I remember playing a script going, This kid's mean. This kid's mean. That's what I kept thinking. It's like, this kid's mean. And the kid pinned me and then I was like upset because they were like, yeah. And his whole thing celebrated. I was like, I started to like cry but not cry where I'm like tearing up, you know,

because I just got embarrassed. And I remember this dad of this kid on my wrestling team just goes, what are you crying? Like that. In my head, I went, in my head, I went, I'm a child. I remember being, like, blown away by it? Because the dad thought it was so funny. I was fucking crying after I lost.

It might have been the third time that James, I don't understand how you put him in the lineup here. Like, it was three times that I watched his app. And I didn't go to every game because I was on the road a lot. A lot of his games were Saturday. That's why he sucked. Right. No, Eddie was there.

Eddie was there. Oh, dude. A Dominican step-in. Well, that's the thing. They pushed him into it, dude. Bobby. He was a baseball guy. Daddy, your hip.

Bring your hips. Your hip. Bring your hips, Swedish. So this thing right here, you know when we dance in the kitchen? Like that for the back. That was the thing. You don't need a glove. He would do it for...

I play with the milk court. Use cardboard on your hand. He would do... Eddie was into baseball and Mattis and we were together at the time. So that was like their thing to do. And James just was not good. He wasn't into it. Would he tell you he wasn't into it?

Well, at the end, I'll tell you what happened. So it was like the third time that this happened. where he was up to bat, where it was on him where if he struck out, the team loses the game. This is three times. I watched it happen three times where he struck out and lost the game for the team. So, and I, look at the third time.

I was waiting. Shane checking back in for the worst part. He lost the game three times. If that was Shane's kid, he would have laughed the same way. That's what my dad did. I sucked. I was like, James, you're not good. I was like, this stinks.

I was like, you're not having fun. It was like, you hate this. I watched it. You know, the other kids, they're pretty nice kids. Even though baseball player kids could be dicks, but he'd do it the third time. You just watch all of their faces.

They're all going like, again. They were doing that before he went up to bat. And then I'm literally going out with like James. And I have to sit down. It was like, you could fuck all these kids up. You could beat their asses. They play with balls like fucking pussies. Well, you do jiu-jitsu.

You could punch him in their fuck. in mouths. I was like, so how about that? How about that now? That is awesome. Good talk. When you don't have, when you don't have that speech, you just go, I'm gay. I suck it. Striking out. Striking out makes you cry. So much. I caught the winning

catch left field on my knees. Sure you did. Caught it. West Memphis 3? West Memphis. West Memphis. West Memphis for the Hillside. We hadn't won in 10 years. Wait, you slid on your knees to make the catch? This is like a rock and it. This is no one. I have the plaque.

I have the plaque. West Method won the championship. You'll be a plaque for this play. On my knees, wait, let me finish. Let me finish. On my knees, slid made the catch. The whole team, to win the fucking whole thing, the whole team pink piled me.

I have a fear of, you know, I have claustophobia. They all pay, and that was just me screaming, get off it, I get me, I get me, they, and they all, the coaches had to, because it was just me screaming. please get off me! And I just had tears going down my whole face and then all the other kids

they gave me a rupee and it was just me holding my glove and a rupee are crying and I had no family there I had to walk home on the highway just with tears in my eyes. After you rock and roll slide you hit a fucking web gem

this is crazy you did not slide on the story literally was just Bobby fucking fucking drinking the rupee crying because somebody walked up in I also made the best play of all time There's that.

He walked by my fucking left field. Slid on my fucking left field. Your version of this story is crazy. I slid on my knee. You like slid like this. I slid in one of my name. You slid like this. And won the game, but won the season.

What? No, won the fuck. The World Series. West Mett. Not the West Mepford Hillside. But we hadn't wanted to tell. I won the fucking game for West Mepford to win the first time in 10 years. I have the plaque at my fucking mother's house.

Bring it in. I'll fucking. I'll fucking text her right now. Bring it in. She still has it. Mom, you take a picture, my literally. She goes the one you stole from the kid

when you were walking by the park and they were playing baseball. She stole his root beer. Bobby, I told you that plot. That plot belongs to another boy. You know what? This is why you don't open up on the... I'm fucking opening up.

Tell you the time. Bobby. I'm at the time you were the coolest guy ever. Bobby, I told you were crying with your rupee. She wasn't there. I had nobody. I was in tears with no money.

on a fucking parrot in sight. I slid on my knees. My dick smashed right into a supermodel's mouth. And it was crazy. I remember sliding and I looked at the batter. And as I caught it, I went, you're out. You're out. Made the fucking paper, too.

Made the paper. They're like local fucking fish. Whoa. Hold on. Local liar. Local gay liar found on highway. Crying. I'm calling her right now.

With a stolen roof. Local boy is a gay liar. Local gay liar Found crying on Highway Lied about sliding catch Or shit Hey, man

Mom, shit, mom She wasn't there Mom, you're right She wasn't there She heard about it, mom, real quick You're on a podcast You're cool with that? Yeah

Okay, great Do you remember when I made The winning catch For West Memphis Hillside And I got the plan And I made the Oh say another else Say another else, let me talk

Give me No, no, you're not talking You just check. She can hear you. Describe the winning play. She wasn't there. You weren't there. I walked home alone.

No, you weren't. No, no, no. There's already holes in this story. I had to go ahead. Wait a minute. Relax. You didn't play baseball. You were a cheerleading.

Mom, you were the bat boy for the other boys. You have the plaque. Do you have the plaque at the house? Yes. Now, do we, was that in South Medford? That was West Medford. You have the plaid. You have the plaque.

Your mother is senile. Do you have the plaque? Yeah, I do. Take a picture of it instead it to me right now. I'm not home. I'm at the mariner. What? The mariner, dude.

She's a mariner. It's an orgy that they do for elders. Get up with my fucking mother. My mother's still alive. It's an elder orgy that they do in my. Did you get my text yesterday? No, I did. I got to go, Ma.

This is getting pretty. You didn't get it? did not get it. What was the text? What was the text? What were you talking about? I'm going to try to break my... Easy, easy, easy. My personal practice.

Easy. I'm breaking my... That's even me a plaque. Easy. What's up? You're on a podcast? All right, relax. I got to go.

I got to go. No, no, no, no. Answer my question. What? What was the text? I didn't get it. He said, wake up Larry? Wake up Larry?

Yeah. You mean? Dad, dad, who passed away? Yeah. You want to wake him up? Well, you asked some guy in the audience, and the guy said he did something in his wife's mouth. I got to go, Mom.

I got to really go. This is getting bad. I love you. I'll call you later. What? So I said, well, your dad fell asleep, and I started snoring, and I said, Larry, wake up, Larry.

Wake up. Okay, Mom, I love you. much. I'm going to call you back after the show, okay? Have fun at that place. I have your plaque. Don't worry about it. You just got the bomb in. I love you. Take a picture of my.

Wow. She goes, Bobby, they're taking my pills. She's very sweet. She's very good mom. I think my mom's... She goes, Bobby, I think my mom's... You didn't play basketball. She said, wake up Larry.

Yeah, wake up Larry. Yeah, but you don't understand. he's been gone he's been gone for a long time he's fucking better wake up maybe he visits her oh shit I've laughed harder on this show so far

what the way you just talked about his mother yeah you're a mariner yeah you're a piece of shit he jumped in the ice point guard he did jump in the boys jumped in I bounce past like a simple

bounce pass you have no respect I expect more out of you you're a family you're a family man he broke the glass if your mother was on nobody would fucking do that to you

he fucking clipped it the dickhead he told a story about my mom on story wars that she hates he was really upset about it and I had to text and be like can you please stop clipping me on Skate's Story Wars he was like yeah no problem I open my phone immediately it's like my mom's drunk

and shit he goes Shane how am I going to pay for this basement your mom's stories are going to get us a new basement I mean do you guys do the body brain read already no we have not okay because you think there's any way What? Our most successful friend is going to do it. They brought me on Matt and Shane. They gave me a whole segment. It was great.

These are my boys. They don't care. Unlike my friends who I actually... Darvo. Darvo. Darvo. Darvo. Don't you fucking darmo. Time for the perpetrator. You better come out to that fucking song, dude. Oh, fuck me, dude. What a show. This one. Let's a quick moment. I thank Lucy for supporting the show. I see Bobby Kelly over here with his Lucy Pouches. I love Lucy, man. Lucy's the best.

The breakers, dude. What's your favorite flavor? My favorite flavor is the berry one they just came out with. And they also have the mango, which I usually don't like, but I do like the mango on this one. You could try them all in the loose. espresso's good, too. Okay. You could try them all in the Lussel.

Oh, yeah. In the morning. They can try them all in the Lucy six-pack or check out the unflavored options if you stay as a flavor band. That sounds crazy. No, Massachusetts. Pop a fucking flavorless pouching. No, they're not bad. They're not bad.

Oh, a blank piece. a paper. Lucy, the only pouch that delivers long-lasting, on-demand flavor. I'm going to break open this flavor of nothing. The whole point of it is. Look, honey, they have a black and white TV. Get 20% off the first order when you buy online at

lucy.com slash regs with promo code regs. If you don't want to wait, check out the Lucy store location to find Lucy near you. It's pretty easy to go up there, the locator, and it'll tell you whether sell them all around the city you're in. Just grab it today. Again, that's

It's lucy.com slash regs. promo code regs. Here comes the fine print. Lucy products are only for adults of legal age, and every customer is age verified. Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. You're so good at that.

It's my favorite thing to do. It's so good. It's really good. All right, let's take a quick moment and thank GLD for supporting the show. GLD makes incredible high quality chains, rings, earrings, watches, elevate any look.

I use the Cuban links. Me and James have matching Cuban links. We're going to Spain in a few weeks. It's the most Puerto Rican thing I've ever heard. The way we're going to get in is. I bestowed to you your Cupid Lane. Your Cupid Lane.

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All right, well, we got to do the ad reads. No, we're done. No, we're not done. Real quick. Speaking of... A little time. What? Joe texted the group and asked if Shane was killing better or, like, funnier than him.

Yeah. Oh, God, what do we say? What do we say? Do you guys want to call him? Great. Sure, I'll call him. I mean, don't hurt his feelings. Everybody wants the truth

I love the truth Shane being funnier than me Is gonna be a brutal Fucking discovery Tell them no Can we just simply state The vibes are high How do we explain it to them in the way that doesn't hurt

The vibes are good dude People are having fun We've been having a lot of fun Yeah it's good We miss you Oh god damn Are you calling him Your mom was so funny

You're like, what about the plaque? Perpetrator, you're saying something evil. Yeah, you are. I'm pulling on my contacts. It's not, for some reason, it wasn't pulling Joe up. Damn, you deleted Joe from your contacts after he missed one show. Damn. God damn, dude, you're ruthless.

The goatee is sick, though. Shane's not wrong. Yeah, you look at gray. Yeah, that shit's, that shit's cool. Shit rules. Makes you look scarier. Yeah. It does.

Yeah. Tough and handsome. He needs to look scarier. You look tough hands. Yeah, he needs to look scarier for the Darvo technique. Oh, fuck. Thank you, Joe. Really, dude?

Do it again, because you might have it. Really, dude? Well, you call the first time, and it goes right to voice. That is true. You're going to call twice. You always got to call twice. Yeah, we're all psychos and how to break through. You know what's so funny?

It's a crazy person trait to be like, just call again. It's so funny, Bobby's revealing that, and I did not realize. Yeah, that is the reason you always get through. It's in there. And it's ringing. Bobby's call it. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, and he dead at me. Yeah. You fucking. Let me call him. He'll answer for me. Wow. What a piece of shit you are. Thanks, you're coming on the show.

No problem. You're back. You're officially back in New York? No, I'll spend more time in Texas. But you got a place here. You got a place here. I want to come see it. You should. Is it nice?

It's pretty cool. Yeah, it's nice. It's fucking awesome. It's obviously nice. It's also right about my favorite lunch. He's like, no, he moved to a place I ever owned. That's cool. Yeah. Feels good.

That's really cool. That's the first place you ever owned. Yeah. Rocheford. An apartment? Rochefort's hooking it up. Rochefort's the fucking me. You don't own in Texas?

No. You just rent? I rent, yeah. Is it downtown? Are you like a house? I'm outside of town. Outside of town. Yeah.

This house is awesome in Austin. It's a great place. I like coming. You know, I like the fact that you don't want to have really nice house. It's pretty cool that it's like, no, I think it's fine.

You know what it is? It's a rookie NFL contract house. It is. When I moved in, I was like, this is literally the nicest house I've ever seen. It was rookie NFL contract. Two years. I'm like, fuck.

Yeah. Have you seen Whitney Cummins' house? I went to Whitney Cummins House. It was, it is, I mean, it's the nicest house I've ever seen. She's got a fucking zoo behind me. Yeah, she made like 45 million off fucking TV shows. It's fucking wild. There was a time where I thought I could have banged Whitney.

Why not? Why is it gone? She's with that skater now, right? I don't know. Oh, yeah. But yeah, I felt one time that she actually threw it at me. Really? Were you bronzed?

Had you just been sucked and fucked? Were you bronzed? No, I had a girlfriend at the time. I would have done it, though. I'm never wrong when I think a girl wants to fuck me. I definitely 100%. And she had a baby. You've never been, well, if you're wrong, it's a felony.

It's not. You're going to be doing maybe 25 dollars. Hey, wake up. I'm not wrong. Hey, hey, lady, I just came in that window. You want to fuck me, right? I understand that you're confused. Oh, thanks to seeing you here.

Oh, this is your bedroom and you're asleep. I'm about to go to work. I could be wrong, but. We're really about to do this. Uh, yeah. But then she had a baby a year later. I think she just wanted to get it. I could have put a baby in Whitney and just...

She knew your Puerto Rican seed was grow. I would have, I would have impregnated the fuck out of her. Then I would have been that. I'm like, let's give me like three mill a year. I'll be out of the kids' life. She's going to pay you to stay out of her life. Yeah, literally.

I'll never say anything. But I won't talk about it on the rigs. I'll never tell anyone. The baby comes out. Why? Wah. What? Wow.

Baba. Dada. You go, have you seen Whitney Cummys his baby as a podcast? First word was the N word. Yeah. It's pretty crazy. Subscribe. You know how to say subscribe.

How do you learn that word? It's two blogs. Blogs. This is fun. What else is going on? You guys have any topics? Or you just show up and mail it in. Well, we usually never came up a topic.

You know what it is? We ride waves on this. Yeah, it goes up and then we come down. And then we're looking out for the other wave. I understand. It's coming. And then you go again. It's sort of.

Sometimes it doesn't come. Sometimes it does it come and we go, you know, let's get out of this. I lead a very interesting life. These guys are, you know, milk toast. What are you talking about? I lead a very interesting life. It's always up to something. I lead a fucking interesting life.

It's not a competition, Bobby. It always is. It's not a competition. But you're not a more, you don't have a more interesting life. How is your life more interesting than anybody else is? Substantially more interesting than yours. Than mine. Yours.

Specifically yours. In Lewis's defense, he is out getting into a erotic adventure. Yeah. He's fighting him. Erotic. He's fighting. I literally fight. I literally fight.

I travel out of the country all the time. I run multiple businesses. He makes love. I mean, it's a pretty interesting life. Like you... Yeah, my basement's just not flooded. Got him. Yeah, that's an interesting thing.

It's a very interesting fact. What would you say is interesting? About my life? Yeah. And I'm not being a cock sucker. Thank you. That's not a dickhead thing to ask somebody. It's not an absolute horse shit.

shit thing to say to somebody's face. What's interesting about you? What do you do that's mildly fucking interesting? Not all. That will take my attention. I'm a fucking dad. I do a lot of shit with my kid. I do a lot of shit with my kid. I thought it wasn't a competition. I'm just saying

I'm trying to do things that I don't do. When I went to Austin, I went to fucking Waco. I went to Wimbley. Watering holes. I went to the silo thing. Check it out. Did you pay your respects? Went to the silo thing. Did you pay your respect?

I went to Dr. Pepper Factory. made my own Dr. Pepper. Really? Yeah, it was awesome. Dr. Pepper's in Waco? Big Bob, you're back. He'll go, hey, hey, hey, watch, he's here. He's here.

He's here. Guys, tell him we can't do. We got a recipe. You went to the doctor's family? You went to the doctor here? That's pretty interesting. He's pretty interesting. He's just fucking mad.

He's trying to get a blood pressure checked out. I got a sciatica. What are the flavors? Went to the silos in Waco. I mean, this is interesting. Yeah. I went to the fucking... Went to an old West town.

There's not really an old west town, but it's made up. Went swimming at the blue hole. Went swimming at the Dr. Peckle factory. It jumped to do with a doctor. Pepper factory. We toured the whole factory. How much Dr. Pepper do they give you? You get one.

That's it. But it's straight. But it's a... You can get a float, Dr. Pepper's from the doctor. Or... And we actually... Doctor's orders. It's a prescription thing they give you?

Take that to the soap. Well, funny you say that. Dr. Pepper was invented because they sold it as something that would help your health. So, yeah, back in the day when they didn't know how to fucking... There's heroin and coke. We'll do it. Bayer invented heroin.

Back in the day, they were like, this will help you with your, you know, ailments. They thought soda would help with certain things. It's like Guinness used to do the thing where it was like... They used to sell that drugs. They're like, no, you'll fight your wife.

You're going to feel strong. You're going to feel strong. You're going to feel tough. Her bone density is lighter than yours. We took a class. Just had a... the finger was up. They took a class where we all got to make our own

flavor, Dr. Pepper. What was yours? But Dr. Pepper's its own flavor? No, they have a bunch of different flavors. They're starting to do the new flavor. No, they've had them for years. They've had all kinds. Orange Dr. Pepper? Vanilla. They have orange. They have Blackberry. What was your did you make? I made blueberry, vanilla, and

the very elusive Dr. Pepper Cream. You made Body Brain Dr. Pepper? Yeah. Yeah. Back. in the Old West when people would sell like bullshit elixir? Anyway, let's get to that

Reed. Boy, do I got a snake oil for you? Yeah, I read Rattlesnakeville salesman. You ever get bitten by a rattlesnake well? Dr. Gomez. I've traveled all across this great plan. We should get him a wagon. He's got a wagging the gas into the wagon.

Get him a fucking hot air. Well, hello. People of Podcastville. Hello. Are you guys tired? It's run out of pads. It's run out of podcasts I still remember in radio film I said you were selling

I was people in radio film Anyway I gotta go We have to get him at Shit Shit they're on to me What do you want Can't a ride to the next time Where's our go

That's so fucking funny I would be the only thing I'd ever use AI for us To make it loose I fucking sneak oil sales I've just ridden in I heard the heat was bad He's got a fly bike As a guy in the ground.

I can cure this for. Nobody works for me. He's like, I'm sure having problems with my brain and my body. Interesting, you should say so. He walks around the wagon and then Paco comes out. Wow, that really works. I can make this 350-pound man fly. Swartrearing.

Help. Help. He would have definitely had a wagon Back in the 1800s He'd been a wagon guy That's how I'm gonna pick Just a tight vest With a watch

Oh the train comes in I'd do like 49 or Lewis Oh yeah Oh yeah podcast Yeah It's how his brain work Yeah That's another skankfish show

Hey here's Joe list Oh finally Joe List you live He called him back Live on the regs with everybody. Hi, buddy. How you doing? Joey. Joey, miss you. Do you? Yes. We miss you, dude. We love you. I tried calling Shane back because I thought it would be funnier, but he didn't answer.

No, he's got you blocked. Yeah. What are you guys been talking about? Have you mentioned Skankfest the movie? No, we've actually gotten out of the loop for that. It's been so fun and refreshing today's show. Oh, is that right? No, it's not Lewis as being mean. Joe, I want you to, when you get off the phone, to Google the Darvo method. You'll notice some similarities on how Lewis treats us. And that's what we've been discussing.

Darvo, D-A-R-V-O? Correct. It's an acronym, and you'll notice it's almost point-for-point exactly how we've been treated by our friend Lewis for the last 20 years. The perpetrator himself. Oh, Shane gave him a new nickname. He is now the perpetrator. Wow. and Darbo says to keep the shirt money?

He's going to lash out. He's about to hit him with a Darbo. It's straight to Darmo. Joe, you're about to see it in real time. That literally did not happen. You fuck me. That's it. Every time.

It never happened. The wrongdoing? There's no wrongdoing. Why are you doing this to me? Why are you doing this to me? This always happens to me. Why are you doing this? Why are you getting?

The funny. ones when they did the Xbox and the PlayStation players and they said those guys it was an Xbox player going oh hey sorry Joe we have such good chemistry we forgot you were on the phone oh my god we got taken away Joe no that's okay I'm on the ocean right now

it's delightful yeah you're in Maine I cannot wait to quit I'm having a good time that's awesome dude you're on the ocean that reminds me in my basement actually his basement flooded yeah but he just got the bomb dana I'm just giving you the call for calls It's a callback to a guy that's He wasn't here for the first.

Everyone else was, though. It was the first bomb of the show, by the way. During Joe, it really was the first mom of the show. Having just your mom's phone. Yeah, Bobby's mom, bomb. Oh, my mom bombed, too. Did you call your mom? Yeah.

I did. Because he had a made-up story about how he caught a ball. Joe. Tell him the story. Joe, the story. Joe's actually an athlete. First of all, I want to say I love Bobby's mom's bombs. Yeah, there he is.

We still got. his good stuff. He's got his good stuff. Oh, we got it. Lewis just put the bomb band in it over my phone. Is he going to make it disappear? All right, now it's back on. Wow, we've never had a phone bomb.

I don't think we've ever had two bombs in a row within 10 seconds. That's crazy. What a 1-2. Wow. He does magic, so you think when you puts over something. Oh, we got it.

Oh, wow. Joe. Anyways, we got to go. What's the Bobby story? Wait until you hear the description of how he says he caught a ball in the outfield. Joe is a good, Joe is an athlete. Joe's good at baseball? Have you ever seen any baseball player catch a ball like this?

Bobby describe it. I was West Medford Hillside. We're playing for the championship. And why are you laughing at that? And then I was in left field and last out of the game, hit to left field. I slid in. God-d-Degid. Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe. I trained him well.

Oh, my God, that was, that was, that was, that was like watching someone flip the sensor. I knew. It's like, you look down, your sword's not in its holster. It's just like, I learned from you. Wow, that was a good fucking happened. What a way, then. If he calls back, though, he'll fucking ruin it. You won't ruin it.

God. He knows it. He's smart. This was fun as hell, dude. That was a good. This is fucking great. Shane. We love you, dude.

I love the regs. You have the best. Yeah, we love you. And you're, uh, you got your big gig coming up here. Yeah. Are you nervous about that? Fuck yeah. Oh, that's right.

I can't even do stand up to prepare for it. What are you going to? Just going to hope it comes to me. I don't know. You're going to get hit with the spirit. How much time do you have to do? It's up to me. I don't know.

You can't do an hour. I'm definitely not doing it. You can't. You got to do like. I think 40 to 45. No. No. I mean, if you're,

how many people you have on? Yeah, we'll see. Yeah, if you're killing, you're right. And there's, there's, there's guests. It's funny. You can't say? I cannot.

He's told me the top. I know. It's fucking awesome. I know a couple people. It's fucking awesome. Can you edit this out? Yeah. Yeah.

No, no, no, no, no, don't trust that. I don't want to know. He's like, don't trust that. Straight to Twitter. Are you going to go up? Is it going to be like you at the end? Are you going to host it and bring them up in between? There's some special guests that are fucking awesome.

I'm going to try to go. I'm more excited. Yeah, I'm just excited to see the special guests. They're going to flip out. Yeah. It'd be fun. And the person going before you is that holy shit? Just come to the film.

Hopefully. Yeah. That person's a little flaky. So we'll see. Really? Yeah. It's going to be awesome. Right now I'm planning for them not to be there.

But we'll see. Wow. But the rest of it's great. You heard of here first. I like What a great show. I'll be at the I'll be at New York

Comedy Club Stanford. Yeah, I saw that on your I'm playing. I'll be in plenty of. You guys can see me at Uncle Vinnie's that weekend. Shane M.Gillis.com for tickets.

We're all playing little tiny venues. Dude, I'm so fucking happy for him. I can't wait to see it. I think it's so cool. I also think it's so funny. It's the second friend Jay has had sellout link.

He has so many friends that do his favorite. stadium. It's very... I did a couple shows with you. These are, you know, massive shows. People are like, dude, it's like, are you fucking nervous? Like, Norman, I was like, surprised. Like, Norman was, like, really, like, in his head before he went up. And I was like, no.

I performed for six... Boo. Bo! Hang on. Sixies is for real. Fucking boo. Nice. Yeah, dude. But it's...

Yeah, it's... The stadium thing that'll be nice is when I'm bombing. I can just go. It's a boom, boom, boom. Now everybody say, well, oh. thousand people. Section 1.23. How you feeling? I'd be doing that shit.

Bombing it from that many people. Getting an Eagles chant going. Dude, that's all you need. That's going to be awesome. Yeah. And yeah, fuck yeah. This was very fun. That was a good time.

I love you guys. I love you guys too. Shane, thanks for coming in. Dan Soda. Everybody, check out Joe List, please. He's in Maine right now, but send him some love. And Louis J. Gomez is working on his basement. I'm going to be doing interesting stuff.

all over with my family. I'll be touring, working on a new hour. I'm gonna get that fucking ad. I'm sending to you. Fucking Bob Kelly. I'd love it. Yeah, get a replay. You sliding on your knees.

Yeah, I mean, there was no video cameras. What are you, David Lee Roth? Fuck out of. Sert. Fucking power slide. Crazy shit. That's how I remember it.

Of course, but now that you're thinking about it, there's no way. I was. You know how fast you'd have to be running to be able to... It's just on your... on both knees. Yeah, both knees.

That slide is like six inches, maybe. Was it like a mud pit, like woodstock? I didn't slide for like feet. I just went on my knees and caught it and slid a little bit. Oh, like James Brown? Yeah, I didn't like go bang and then keep going. It wasn't like a fucking rock video. No, you made it sound like caught it and you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, more so I caught it on my knees. You did you sound better? Fagin. I will see you guys next time. I didn't think I got that tacked up pepper. We'll see you guys next time on the regs.