Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Dog Lover and Jews

Episode Date: January 7, 2013

Robert is joined by Justin Silver, Joe List, Luis J Gomez, Louis Katz, Dan Soder and Noam Dworman. (@IAmJustinSilver, @JoeListComedy, @LuisJGomez, @LouisKatz, @DanSoder, @NYCComedyCellar).   RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un duvena que de Maú, a Madrid. What's up, this is Justin Silver, listening to me on Robert Kelly's podcast.

You know what, dude? On Ryakast.com. Oh my God, that was the worst. You're a show business. What did you want me to say? What? You said you're listening to me on what you say you want your listening to me on what you say? You're listening to me on I have fun with it do like dogs. We're talking to dogs. I'm trying to remember that right

Talk to dogs. I'm doing it simple look at the dogs. I got what's up This is Justin Silver here on Robert Kelles. You know what dude on right cast calm. Is that it? Yeah, what do you want to say? Go for a fifth year Is that it? Yeah, what do you want me to say? Go roof roof at the end. All right, Jersey, I'm coming back bananas, Hasbroke Heights, one of my favorite clubs. I'm going to be the 11th and the 12th. Bananas, Hasbroke Heights, and I'm also going to be a comedy works upstate New York and

Albany. That's the 18th and the 19th. Then I'm going to Tampa, Florida, side splitters on the 24th and the 25th. And then, and the 26th, I'm going to Tampa, Florida side splitters on the 24th and the 25th and then and the 26th I'm gonna be there and then at the end of the month 31st to the second Gotham comedy club go to the website my website robberkelylive.com to buy tickets or use my app robberkely live app from The iTunes store to buy tickets Yo, what's up up YKWD fans the intro that you love to fucking hate. This show is fucking hilarious it's it goes for two two hours

14 minutes. We had Louis J Gomez, we had Louis Katz, Joe List, the truth, Dan Soda, and Justin Silver. Justin Silver is a funny comedian, but he's also mainly known for, or you people might know him from Dawgs in the City of the CBS show. And Nome stopped in the owner of the Comedy Cellar and the host of live from the Comedy Cellar. We had Phil, five o'clock Phil taking photos and videos. Uh, this, this, this show is crazy, man. It was crazy. A lot of stuff going on. I was trying to fucking corral everybody. Um, me and Justin works through some shit. Um, you know, fawny shit, of course. I love the guy, but, uh,

shit of course I love the guy but and Lewis Jay Gomez was tweeting some fucking hateful ju-stuff and he got called on it but again another funny episode this is this crew of guys that we had on is fucking hilarious and if you don't laugh at this I don't know you're fucking dead inside so I hope you enjoy this again if you have any critiques, questions, anything at all, ykwd at ryecast.com, we get all the emails. You guys are great for sending them. So make sure you, even if you'd like the show, if you're fucking hate it, whatever,

you want to see more of somebody, or you want to see less of somebody, even me, just to email us, let us know what's up. And if you want to send anything to the show, like people have sent us the Patrice photo and the, you know, all kinds of shit, the flood city, sign, and a bunch of other stuff. 676A, 9th Ave, number two, 424,

number 424, New York, New York, 1.036. Again, that's 6.76A, 9th Ave, number 424, New York, 1.036. If you want to mail us anything, that comes right to us or anybody on the show. Just make sure you tell me who it goes to and we'll make sure it gets to them. Thanks again for listening to the show. I hope you enjoy this episode. This is a long one. So fucking buckle in.

And enjoy YKWD. He did. Hey gang, this is Colin Quinn. This is Jim Norton. This is Dennis Liri. This is Opie from a lot of things. This is Bert Kreiser. Staying cooking, you are listening to Robert Kelly's.

You know what, dude? You know what, dude? I know what, dude! Staying cookin' you are listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude? You Know What Dude? You Know What Dude! Ify bippy bbya ify bippy boo, dippy dippy dhya, yabba dabba doo. Dude! This is Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude? You Know What Dude? That mic is on, Phil, if you have anything to say say don't ever touch that again like that though. This was speaking no

I feel I feel all right man. Fuck this. Fuck it all. Fuck it all. Fuck it all. We'll go. Fuck it. Fuck this. We're going right the fucking to fucking this list. You know what I called Bobby? Louis and I were Louis cats and I were outside talking. I said Bobby's like the Rizza of the podcast world. He just gets like 12 people in a studio at once. You know what I get shit for a lot? Anyways, welcome to you know what, dude, podcast. Blah, blah, blah, blah, new year. No one died.

We're all shit going on. Thank you. Do you look? You look Mary. I'm pretty Mary. Joe looks like he runs a Christmas tree stand. No, he looks like he should be in front of a Christmas tree shop with me. I got a shit for bringing, like not my peers, like Norton or Voss or Keith or, you know,

those guys, my friends or whatever, I bring on young dudes. I bring on you. Young dudes. I bring on the young dudes. Joe, this is 54 years old. What are you talking about? I started before Norton did. I really am the Rick Chrome of fucking podcast.

Come in guys, I've got credits. Hey guys. I do the show, whatever Tuesday nights usually, but you guys keep is excruciating. Well again, in the cellar, it's above the cellars. Humming's gone. Did you hear that? You know what that fucking noise was?

A little baby $5 fan can fuck up a whole shit. Sound like a shitery. We just lost a fan. All right. Take it in. I don't like that. Warming up. Just warming up.

I get shit all the time. They're like, dude, why don't you fool? It's like, first of all, if I put all those guys on here, which I have them on, they don't wanna do the fucking show. I'd love to have Norton calling and Keith and Vos, but that's something called Tough Crowd. They'd make me pay them.

Vos would be like, I'd say, I'll sell up every ghost out. I want scale. Yeah, can Bonnie come? Yeah. I like this. Yes, for God's sakes, yes. Every, I love every time you approach Keith downstairs like

Did you get to do my podcast like I'll the podcast stinks Bobby. I don't give a shit Oh, he's actually gonna come on soon, but yeah, look first of all and I like having you guys on because you guys like doing it It's fun and I didn't know Louis That's what not yeah, make sure you say Katz, I don't want people to get excited. Yeah, Louis. He's the chosen one, not the Goy Puerto Rican that we bring on here.

Yeah, I mean, I love having these guys on. I love, no one would know how funny Louis Jay Gomez. No one knows how funny Louis Jay Gomez. Too shak. And Justin Silver? Justin Silver for fucking, we like dogs. Jay Gomez. No one knows how funny Louis Jay Gomez. Two Shay. And Justin Silver. Justin Silver from fucking We Like Dogs. Some dogs are pretty fun. Must love dogs.

Go to dogsanddoods.com, Justin Silver. Ah. Let's see. I forgot the name of the show. Dogs in the city. Dogs in the city. Well, we've seen him deflate right there because you forgot the name of the show.

He felt this big. There's first of all it's it's not I'm just stupid I don't know the names of shows. I forgot your name But um, it's Lewis Lewis. This is yes, you know dogs in the city. Yeah, and it's on CBS right and it's got a second season I don't know right it's we're waiting. Oh fuck Dude they are fucking holding we're gonna get into that we're gonna get into you and, he's not gonna work. No, it's not, dude, they are fucking holding. We're gonna get into that, yeah. We're gonna get into you and all you fucking, you show and all your excitement and all the new stuff. And then we're gonna get into how gay you and Louis really are.

Oh, yeah. Joe List, I worked with Joe List once, right? Back in Boston, heard all this stuff in the bottom. For the original man. Right. Right. Jeez. The movie meant at work is based on us. Oh Jesus. Who's Emilia? I don't

I never sell a movie. You can tell you know what Kelly adds to the show? Fake laughter. I don't. Yes she unlocked. I've got like Fred Flintstone out here. I think he was getting pranked. He gets locked out. The door was locked. All right. That was a Fred Flintstone. Yeah, remember, what are you talking about?

The beginning of every episode, dude. Oh, fucking Christ. That's the thing. He gets locked out. Oh, shit. That was listening to me. Do you understand how fucking mean the truth when the truth comes out of people's mouths how funny that is

That you You're never on the show Everybody's like nothing I'll tell you this list tell us in general is just one of the funniest people to invite in a group of people He came over we're watching football yesterday on January 1st. List comes over Nate. Bark of dates, dude. Don't give dates.

We're like, we're like, we're like those radio shows that are syndicated. We don't want you to know we're in fucking the enamel. Let's have. We can say Bob and Tom. That's what you're trying to. I want to, I go the other way.

I went for the, you have to figure it out joke. Oh, sorry. You just gave it to him. Oh, sorry I don't feed him like goats. Sorry. I don't think anyone listening knows. I don't think your crowd Inter connects with the Bob and Tom crowd, right? What are you saying? I'm saying you're better than Bob and Tom Yeah, what are you saying? But I was saying Nate Mike Vekky on my room and I are all watching football List comes in and within three minutes of sitting down on my couch, murdering the whole room. Literally the point that I've heard

Vecchion laugh in a way I've never heard him laugh before. Here's the deal though, I met Joe List and I heard so much about him, Nick DiPolo's guide. He was like, you know, I'm like, oh, and I met him and he worked for me and I was thoroughly unimpressed. Oh, I swear to God. Work with you. I worked with you.

I worked with you. What are you fucking? I got this guy Joe List and I was like, there was three people I could have choose from and I choose him. I'm like, give me this guy. Choose? Chose. And I was like, let me, yeah, I heard a lot about me. And he comes in and is person out first time meeting Joe, you're fucked.

You got to meet Joe three times. You have to meet Joe. And then when he came in here, I met him a couple other times after that, real quick with you, or Dorosa or something. And then he came in here. He's one of my favorite people on the planet. Yeah, it's the cause.

Funny is fucking guy ever. I'm gonna cry here. I would have never known that. If I had all my fucking shit friends on, that don't give a fuck. I have you guys, now you guys and my friends. you know what you're my friend Joe you're my friend Lewis Jay Gomez Dan and you know what Lewis

Louis Louis You're becoming a good person to me Justin is my friend you're like a divorce guy. So you're hanging out with like a younger crew of people. They bring them in and it's like you branch out a little bit. Where's the band-in? So there's a band-in. Look at that. Look at Justin and his band-in. Yeah, look, let's find this here. I'm falling. Yeah, don't tie that around one of your dogs next either.

But that's the band-in, the bomb danner. The bomb danner. Oh shit. You don't whisper anything. Just talk. He doesn't dance out of his coat. I want to interrupt the thing. Okay. so anyways I'm very happy with the crew of guys I do have on here because I like to expose people My fans to new comics up and coming guys guys you should know and everybody I have on the show is fucking hilarious Whether it be a comic and actor or whoever the fuck it is last week on we had a

Whether it be a comic and actor or whoever the fuck it is last week on we had a Shung from American Idol great guy. So fuck you fuck off next week though I'm having Colin Quinn on and none of you guys Because it's you know it's one of those shows studio joint. Yeah, you know what happens to us when you guys when I bring the big guys on You guys clam up. Yeah, I love you fucking lock up. I lock up like a mother. I don't lock up on real I'll do it. Fuck your big guys Freedom fucking I'm closer with calling the name with all you guys I apologize Dan

Dan clams up. I lock up. Oh, Dan and Kelly fucking just stare at the guys forehead I interact yeah, you interact but everything they say you agree with. You don't fucking. I'm corporate Dan and Robert. There's nothing wrong with that. Side note, PU to Coke Zero. Just trying to get smogable. This show, please.

This is for like, you don't like Coke Zero? But big fan. It's a big fan of Coke Zero. It tastes like Louis act. You got to do the cats. It's Louis J. That's Louis, that's Louis. You guys don't even know their fucking names.

Alright, let's go around the room real quick. What'd you get for Christmas? Sorry. Well, sorry about that. Hanukkah, do you get anything for Hanukkah? What'd you get for Hanukkah? I got a indoor bike trainer. I'm taking my bike on the indoors for winter,

canceling my gym membership, biking inside. Really? Who gave you the indoor bike? My mama. Well, like the... Forrest Gump. Like the real expensive one, the... Yeah, nice one.

The Tour de France? No, no, it's like I put my regular bike that I used during summer and I could put it on this thing. And somehow you change the gears and it gets harder to ride on. So I cancel my gym membership, I'm watching summer and I can put it on this thing and somehow you change the gears and get harder to ride on So I can't see my gym membership. I'm watching movies and so indoors. It's nice. It's a total Israel Lewis what do you get besides a brand new baby? J

I don't know I killed it and a phone call from big J. No, you didn't get that I don't know, I killed him. And a phone call from Big J? No, you didn't get that. Okay. Fucking congratulate you on your baby. He didn't? No. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. I texted fuck the minute. Stop. Big J. Big J didn't call you. Shut up. Big J didn't call you and congratulate you. He might have called me, I don't know.

Shut the fuck up real active. He's poor, Danny. He's a real active. Poor, Danny. He's not being a real active. Today is busy eating okay No, try to take get out of this Listen do you think you think Jay is gonna listen to the show?

He's not honest. Don't worry about it. Jay doesn't want to do it when he's on it listen Did he call you or did he not call you about you did not call me Bobby called me five times? Well, I was in the hospital literally. Yeah, I did you did yeah, cuz I give a fuck you're good friend, bro I'm not a friend. I'm a guy that gives a fuck So big difference you need your interest big difference if you need money get the see you hit the road Jack Thank you boopie in a guy who gives a fuck So he didn't call you man nah he texted and Justin you pissed about that

Yeah, I just think it's shitty didn't I mean yeah, I mean, yeah. He should have, he should have, yeah. I think he's shitty that didn't inco- I think he didn't see the baby yet. Justin came over and saw the baby. I saw the baby in the hospital. Yep. Who said I was born? I saw it on Facebook.

I saw it, I went and saw it too. You weren't there, but I went and saw it for all sides. You're making out beaters. Let me tell you, oh god, I would. Oops. Oops. Oops. Those were inside thoughts, Bob.

I saw a breastfeeding in the back. No, you did it. It's where to go. to God. I mean I didn't see anything but it's like she was doing when I came anyway Do you know what I said man? You know to creep you are Say that out loud. I mean I'm kidding, but you went I saw her breastfeeding dude you let your wife take a tin out in front of No, I was sure as well. I was right now. All right. Good. Have you tried the milk? No, not yet because she only has claustrum right now. All right, good. Have you tried the milk? No, not yet because you only has colostrum right now All listen knows about all the shit once the milk comes in I'm gonna make a milkshake out of it and drink it I swear to God I was what right now? Yeah, shit, the classroom is for the first few days. They don't produce milk. They produce colostrum

What is that like? It's like pre milk why would you drink my my go comes out of her tits? It's pretty hot, dude Why would you not drink that if it came out of her tits? I don't know dude It seems creeper to me to drink a lot from them milk. It's just creepy to drink anything out of your girlfriend's dick. I think the word is awesome. What are you talking about? Louis you and your weird fucking bathhouse fetishes. Hey Louis your bathhouse together. Was he riding an indoor bike in it? Did everyone ignore the fact that Louis

pretended to have a gym membership? A little fucking time. Let's actually quite in shape. I'm so in shape. I'm so in shape. I'm so in shape. I'm so in shape. I'm so in shape. Louis, you're going to heat the mic.

Where are you? Leete the mic so I can hear you. How about that? Is that better? Let me talk again. Yes. I got to turn you up. You have a very soft voice.

Very soft. Yeah, you're a very soft spoken. Go ahead. Baby hands. Louis got some billed ass legs. Look at these tiny hands. I would say that besides Justin I am in the best shape in this room. What? Yeah, I agree with that. I say besides Justin I could besides Lewis. I can knock everybody out in this room I didn't say that wasn't you be tough, but I get you

Dude, I have to be a boxer. I'd have to suck at him. I'd be like dude. I don't want to fight you Shot or not know what I do. I'd hold a fucking knife to a cat's neck You could do a shot or not. You know what I do? I'd hold a fucking knife to a cat's neck. You're the doggo. I'm a doggo. I'm like, ha ha. You don't like cats?

I do like them. I do. I love that Justin has to be corporate. No, he has to be corporate now. He can't, he, this scumbag a year ago was just a piece of gaba. I know. What?

That's even fucking. No, don't you, don't you, don't you, don't you, don fucking No, don't you piece of garbage. Yeah, I've seen you rape Really date rape sorry, let me see a picture of the baby first one Not that I want to see this because I'm having So Lewis you had the baby gorgeous fucking baby it came out it looked like it's six months old Like I mean it came out really done. Oh, like full head of hair Overbake. No, but I know it's 10 days overdue

But it came out like when babies come out they have that mushy little fuck you face and that little shitty wispy hair His kid came out like, like it could talk. That kid came out fucking gourd dude. I wish I had an ugly baby. I think it's hilarious if I could just hold up an ugly baby. Look at this fucking nasty thing. It's scary people with it. Right, but do this thing fucking came out gorgeous.

It's ridiculous. It's unbelievable. And this is the only thing I can hope for is that it's gorgeous now and then slowly turns fucking atrocious. It's that Lewis post apocalyptic face. Like he keeps that, no, he keeps the baby face his whole life. I'm 18. Bobby had the best mind, dude.

He called me up and he was like, I did, I'll be a fucking kids game. Like watching the kid come out at this point. And I was like, dude, fuck you, bro. My kid's gonna kick your kids ass. He's like, your kids not gonna kick my kids ass. I was like, he's gonna choke at your kid. But I was like, yeah, he's gonna try to choke him with his cock. And then my kid's gonna kick your kids ass. He's like your kids not gonna kick my kids ass I was like he's gonna choke at your kid but I was like yeah, he's gonna try to choke him with his cock

And then my kid's gonna kick his gay head. I love that that's the phone call you took as the baby was coming out His phone call bro. I'm on you know what dude is it my bio now? I'm out of line At least I fucking called unlike a good friend big J Mittens McGee can't fucking First of all put it on you know get it Wrap it around the thing you got to wrap it around the thing. Yeah, you got to tie it around Lewis check Lewis's ass hole I guarantee Lewis took it home and stuck it in his ass. Where is the bottle opener? I brought that back?

International waters. It's in the thing man. It's in the it, it's in where the bottle is. I was told it was going to be on display. So, so, so did boy, you had a nice chili cock bottle opener. It's real. All right. Look at that. Just calm down. Calm down. Like, if I was, can I just say something real? Oh, yeah. If I was going to take a dick, that would be the dick I take. That one would be that bad. It's a kind of a thick cut. It's a little thick, but I would take that would be a perfect size like right there. Right when it's no, no, I'd have to take a smaller, but really? Yeah. Well, the length is good. The girth is much. Are we taking mouser asshole? I ain't some cool. Gursal Joe, you can't off to that in your mouth.

Just poke it into the teeth. You'd have to blow Lewis's kid. Joe's jail proof. Joe's jail proof. Ironically Joe has a gigantic asshole though. I was just thinking about this. Everything I've ever eaten my entire life is at cheese on it. I take little dart shits. I got it bad.

You couldn't penetrate with me. The dick mouth So I'm saying your prison I take teeny little shits. Really? It's horrible. I got a stop eating cheese You take rabbit shits. No, no, they're like they're long and thin. They're like I Cheese I don't know the problem. Oh, there's a lot of little small thin ones. No, it's just like a lot like a Plato I just jump his string. I just remember two pencils. That might be cancer, dude.

Whoa. Do you think that really? Yeah. No, don't do that to Joe. No, no. Now he's gonna fucking be psycho for weeks. You know the word collostrum, everyone's taking fucking medical advice from me.

I'm Lewis. I'm a computer doctor. He's like Dr. Nick on the subject. I'm gonna do surgery, y'all. I still like how sincere Louie asked, why doesn't he, his wife's tit come. Unless you tried it and it tasted bad, why would you not suck something out of a tit? I would suck something out of a tit. I mean done that. Yeah. No, I liked it. I was like, I've been trying breast milk before. Why did you try breast

milk? My friend, my comedy friend. That's illegal. That is, I mean, well, they used to be a restaurant that used to sell it and that is illegal. They got shut down. But this was from a friend. If a friend gives you breast milk, you can try it. Why did your comedy friend had breast milk on them?

Well, they were married. It was a comedy couple and they had breast milk in the fridge and I tried it. It was very sweet, it's delicious. Really? What was the restaurant that tried selling it? It was one of the East Village, they had to shut it down, then you can make appointments with them,

but you had to meet the guy in the corner. They'd make like, breast milk cheese. You suck it out of the tit of this. No, no, no, no, no, it wasn't a bottle in the fridge. So you went there, four breast, is this a thing? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I would be into it, but I wouldn't see Why why why are you into that I've never heard of that I can't believe I have to explain Would you ever knock up a girl just to get her breast milk? No, come on man Dude it's not fucking one percent what talking about you get it to Delhi. No, it's way richer in sweeter Yeah, it's from a fucking mom who needed that for a kid and then there's a jewel in a corner on a bike

Mom who needed that for a kid and then there's a Jew on a corner on a bike Me me I'm not stealing it out of the mouth of kids. I'm saying you are you're taking out a Puerto Rican babies Rich Jew That'd be so evil to steal it from the babies. I don't know don't both the titties have milk I found this out that the titty it's not one hole, it's a bunch of little tiny holes. If you squeeze the nipple and the milk comes out, it's like 20 streams of pure magic to lose. Yeah, this sounds great.

But delicate doesn't. It sounds incredible. You know what, you kind of make your own. I just imagine Louis sitting in a leather chair with a cognac glass for a tin milk. I see him going in the back room of B&H and going come in back here My friend you want me to come back here Indian voice why

I don't know what B&H is I'm a goi Everyone knows what come on not everyone knows what B&H everyone in the room knew a bnh was my friend Paul Oda the good joke. It was at places like a different planet. It's like Jupiter Paul Odo Take the bandana I know what H&H is What's that also? What the sugar company? I don't know H&H is bagels. That's what Kramer worked.

So, you know, can I just say something about Lewis, Jay Gomez? I know that everybody gives him shit for being a fucking, you know, not the brightest pumpkin in the patch. Nobody gives me shit. Well, not for- Yeah, but we talked about it. We talked about it a lot. Psychopath.

My IQ is so high. But he said the most I can't believe he said it. People have been telling me when the baby comes out, they're like guys try to explain it to you. Like, oh dude, it changed your life and it's so like fucking, you know, whatever. Fake and overblown.

It's like I don't care. You go like this, oh my God, yeah, but you really don't get it. He doesn't, he affected me. He put it together. So beautiful. I've never heard Somebody say what Lewis J Gomez says is so poetic retarded sage. He said to me he goes bobby this baby came out of my girls pussy

Listen, he said repeat what you said to me. No, it's fucking. It was don't say fucking say it the way you said Don't be a fucking egghead for charming. Say it the way you said it't be a fucking egghead for charming say it the way you said it all right What happened was I was watching look at me and say it I Watch it what happened was they pulled the baby out of my girl tuxlo you know what forget it He's gonna fuck it up because he's an asshole. No, no, no, they did they pull it. Don't say pull it out to the baby Oh God the baby was born. Okay, baby was being burst born He's a perfect he cried for probably three seconds. He put them on, they put them on her chest right away.

And I saw my kids stop crying, make eye contact with my girl and fall in love with her immediately. And it was like the craziest fucking thing. He really butchered his own beautiful fucking. Because I didn't practice it, Bob, because you're a... What did he say? Dumb dumb. He said to me, he goes, let me me tell you something man. It was amazing to me

I've never seen anything like it the babies coming out this blood. It's crazy the babies going nuts It's faces all crinkled up. It's crying. It's really just losing its mind and then all of a sudden they wrap it up in this Black it they put the baby my son on my my girls chest It slowly opens his eyes, looks up to my girl, and it's the most amazing thing you get to watch your son fall in love with his mom. Yeah. And I was like, that was beautiful. That was beautiful. Oh, fuck. Hey, that's what you said. But you're a fucking baby. You can only say once. That's why it's a difference in the movie that I just was like a three from you and a 10 from Bob

you really suck Louis Bob you know that audition you really know that Bobby's gonna play Lewis and we're gonna have to get out the birth oh I'm weird cuz I'm in love with my mother but it was crazy the baby came out and I was like whoa like cut cut we need this to be real Bob we need you to play this real.

I said I got it, okay. We're doing a buy-up on Lewis J. Gomez. Yep, I know him, okay. I know you've done a lot of research, but if I can just as your director. Yes, sir. If I can just tell you this. Yes, sir.

Can you ramp up the fucks? Yeah. Okay. I'm also, really? I want you to scale back the emotion. Right. Kind of just play a dumb ignorance. Okay, ready?

Are you guys ready to take this? It's Garsha. You're playing Beatrice, you're doing great, honey. I'm going to need you to do that smile one more time. And action. Fucking, fucking wow. This fucking plate. I want to wrestle it.

Can I bite its foot? Fucking, all right. Cut, cut, cut. Bobby, you're going too far away. I think you've got the essence of what Lewis is. Yep. But this time, let's try to get the lines in there. Not too much improv. Okay, let me ask you a question though.

I'm going to give a fuck right off the bat and then I'm going to go into it. Okay, perfect. Then I'm going to kind of fade out because sometimes he fades out into like a, you know what? You know what? You get a little subtext of where his brain is. That's perfect. It's not really there all the time. Let me check with the producers.

Oh yeah. Yeah, that works great. All right, Leo, what's up? I'm okay. Tonight,. Yeah. Yeah. That works great. All right. Leo, what's up? I look tonight. Zanzibon. Okay. Stop. All right. You ready? All right. We're speeding. We got sound. Great. And action. The baby came out and the doctor grabbed it and wrapped it in a fucking towel. And it was crazy. It's face was mangled and roughed up.

It looked like it was in a five-rounder with John Jones. And then he put the baby on my wife's chest. Wait, cut. Keep it going. The reeds. Yeah, but I got cut. You know, they're not married. Yeah, they are not married.

That's going to be, you're right. That's going to be a source of tension later in the movie. That was so long. I'm gonna need you. I fucked up. I fucked up. All right. Can we take it right from there?

In one last note. Yes. I think you've got, I think you've got the attitude. Right. As far as the inflection, you're doing a little too cholo for it. Low cholo. All right, bro.

So still remember, let me just try and remember, both your parents are dead. You've lived in hotels. And you're hanging out still remember the bit. Let me remember both your parents are dead. You've lived in hotels You're hanging out all the time you've banged some of the grossest things on the planet, but now you're in love And the woman you love just had your child. All right there we go Hold on Bobby hold it speeding sound or and action It's called real-ass dude. It'll be out in theaters next spring Loot real-ass dude the Lewis to go best store. It sounds like an amazing movie first of all time right now. He I'm really fucking

I'm really want to talk about loose kidI-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I- a lot of mile guys. It's a cultural trend. Does anyone here not like to suck on titty? I love sucking on titty. I don't want milk. If there was something delicious that came out of that titty, why would you not drink that? Because I like to suck a titty to make my dick harder. Dude, if milk came out of a tit, I would throw up on her pussy.

It have to go all the way. Louis pays high dollar to do that. I'm just like, what do you want, sweetheart? I'd suck my tit and get a paw fall over my pussy. I'm losing my guess guy that would be very nice You understand if you suck in a chick's tit and milk comes out She just kid from someone else or she's blessed or something Why is that you know what I mean

West I knew I knew what dude a gay dude who hooked up with another guy I know you lactated man lactated I know I had a friend who lactated this guy, Milky. Yeah. I'm not joking. We're name Milky. I want Milky.

I want Milky. I'm not joking. I want Milky. I want Milky. I want Milky. I want Milky. I want Milky. I want Milky.

I want Milky. I want Milky. I want Milky. I want Milky. I want Milky. I want Milky. I want Milky. I want Milky. I want Milky. I want Milky. I want Milky. I want Milky. It's not like a little fat, it's like a thicker. What was the last time you had it? I only had it once, but it was delicious. When was it?

To or mid 2000s. And it was a good time. Hang on one second. What are you doing? I saw that. I was looking at the picture you was taking. I was waiting to hear that. Phil, you ever show anybody the pictures on this thing again

during the show? I will find out. I was looking at the picture you was taking. I was waiting to hear that. Phil, you ever show anybody the pictures on this thing again during the show? I will find out. I will find out.

I will find out. I will find out. I will you doing? No, I saw that I was looking at the picture you was taking I was waiting to hear that Phil you ever show anybody the pictures on this thing again during the show I will fucking smash your camera and buy you a new one to the lot of Tuesday You know this fucking you So editing his you know, no, no, I know it was looking at everybody I brought the worst of all I don't look at you don't get to look at your cell phone never mind the photos He's taken I'm just kidding. Fuck him. And anybody else who ever asked you to do that. I just don't tell people rules.

It's like this angry. Yeah, this is how we do it. Yeah, usually Kelly does it. Yeah. Mate, if you couldn't, now look at the pictures. So I need a name. Just your name. Just your name.

Just your name. I'm coming on, Gloude. I'm going to text you 40 times. Just to see if you want sugar in your coffee. I'm going to write you an. Did you see if he won't sugar in your coffee? I'm gonna write you an email that's 14 pages long. And then tell you about my problems at the end of it. I can't do voices, but also I'll put the word Darlin. Oh, we gotta have an intervention with her.

What's the word? Darlin? I don't know. The short and form of darling. I love that he just he tapped out of a voice. I can't do it. I can't do voice but I'm getting in on this. Every time I try to do a voice it comes out pirate.

That's all I can do. Try and I'll show you a voice. Hello I'm Kelly. Better than mine. I can't try to do Lewis. Lewis, uh, Oh, good a baby Do Justin Hey, I don't know dog dogs That was I do a great just yeah, that was amazing. I thought that was him. Hi, I don't like dogs. I like dudes

That's a good Justin. Yeah, that's amazing. What's funny is they both do each other's voices. Forget it. No, because they both do each other. I'm like, how, how Tau Rum presents. It turns us on, it's like Justin, do me. Justin. Have you ever heard that podcast we did about you and Lewis? I showed it to him.

Yeah, oh, I saw a clip from him. You showed what? My dick. I saw a clip from it on YouTube, you showed me? Yeah, I showed the YouTube. Yeah, wow. So he's funny, that story. Oh, it was a funny, yeah, hilarious story. Yeah, so said the YouTube. Yeah, well, it's funny. That story.

Oh, it was a fun, yeah, hilarious story. It goes through three seconds away from Rubbin Wienys. Three seconds away from Rubbin Wienys. That was a quite bad. You were naked in a bed with another man as a joke for half hour. Man, it was in half an hour. All right, how long was it? 45 minutes.

Not long enough. I love it. Whenever someone tells a story, it's like, dude, I was beating the shit this guy for five minutes. Like, for five minutes, you were dead. I love how you manned it up. You know, fucking, you know, dude dude I was beating the shit this guy for five minutes like for five minutes You were do I love how you mand it up, you know fucking you know I was beating a shit out of a guy. I was fighting We're doing story time is always exactly it was it was if it was five minutes I'm gonna tell you why I was I'm gonna say

Five minutes hang on hang on but what's that you all most don't gay boys don't argue when Jay don't talk over each other and you can confirm this with Jay when Jay takes a shit Oh, he smokes like three cigarettes while he's taking a shit It's a weird process right 20 minute process dude. He was in the bathroom for at least 20 minutes What the fuck is go what what why did you leave that out of the story? No, I'm not the process with that with how we how he he's got it He told us tell it on stage how we how he has a specific Closer that oh, they should you've never done that never join out It's the greatest treat you can give your how long do you shit for? I'm like Nice 10 minute 10 minutes

My legs will follow just because your ass was been used so much this shit just falls out in one second Man down to give him the bed. Yeah, there's nothing. I need a silence after that one Hey, we're just five seconds of nothing. All right, yeah, that probably got a bit of room. God, that's so... That was to Justin's point. That was not five seconds. That was like one Mississippi.

That's what I'm talking about. When you reach out the story, it'll be five seconds. A nice naked dump while you're smoking a cigarette. It's one of the best things. You get fully naked when you should. Yeah, because it stands out. I don't understand that. It's one of the best things. You get fully naked when you should. Yeah, you can stand up. I guess I don't understand that. I have to do this not fat because fat guys,

we don't want to sit down and scrunch up and look at our fat in the mirror in the bathroom. You get a lot of leg room, you can move around. No, fat guys would like to make it. You can move around. No, you can't move with your pants out. You're locked up. You're locked up with the ankle.

Dude, I'm at the point right now or I pulled a bicep muscle wiping my asshole. and I have to unhinge my shoulders to button my pants Like Mel get yeah You have a step of my jug again. We might need to band amus I really was slow-rolling that Mel Gibson line and you and like Mel Gibson double-dance what are you fucking Kelly like me I'm gonna Well, she wouldn't know that reference but that's it. Yeah, she would she also H.J.'s What wow Kelly does hate you make that man. Let's start it. Come on. Let's start it

You doing a lot of you hate on your Facebook page. I'm noticed lately first There was that and then the baby kind of yeah, yeah, lose. Yeah, yeah, a lot of Jew jokes out of nowhere. What do you mean, there's no hate involved in those jokes? It's just jokes. Well, the words, they're not funny though. Oh! Oh! That's from a Jew.

It's Jews. See like that. That was actually pretty funny. Hang on, my second. I just, my feelings and my opinions. I just got news. Some good news. Oh boy. We have an order of tiddy milk coming in for

Got a gallon of tit milk. I got nothing forget it You doing racist stuff on your Facebook? No really really offended dude I would I would just it was like something we was no I said what I was like Christmas brunch with two Jewish lesbians, which was the least Christian thing I could do That's what I wrote that doesn't sound like what you wrote. It was something like I killed the brunch or something like that or just Jews What's up? Judy

Dirty heaps eat and breakfast Did you not think it was lunchtime? It was just something about it was something about the word Jews You look real you look angry about it now. I'm not that angry. Oh, yeah, I was angry about it I for a whole lot. I'm 10 to for I'm very Expressive face as I was a this is the first time I've seen you fur on the half an hour we've been sitting here. It's been joyful and now this is a fur on.

I like it. I like it when you fur. Do we wait a sec joyful? You're being very jui-ui. Let me ask you a question. Let me ask you a question. Do you fur when you drink baby's milk? No, I relax.

I unfurl. Really? He doesn't eyebrow tw- I can flip the answer. I guaranteero. Really? He doesn't, he doesn't eyebrow Twitter. He doesn't. I guarantee when he becomes a successful uh... Counting? Hey, you understand the timing of that funny? I literally had to go, uh,

and someone had to go, punk. You try to get that, you gotta open. You really open? It was an accident. I got, got, got, got. That was a fucking nice pass from bird to par. There's a human in front of the refrigerator. Don't yell at me, bro.

You're like, point me like I just get a beer. I'm just gonna stick stuffy as such a fucking Jew. Whoa. I swear to God. I swear to God, audio, he doesn't have a career. Actually, you just just take this kill. He doesn't have a career. If he was gonna fight out of the basement,

we're talking about, I just had line carolines two weeks ago and killed. On a Tuesday. Did anybody show up? Man, it's not till next week, but I'm pretending to be the podcast. Well, there's podcasts. No, this podcast is coming out next week, dumb dumb.

Okay. So you can actually promote it. Okay, cool. It's coming out on Monday. Do you even know the show that you've been on every fucking week? No, you don't even listen to it. I'm sorry. See me at Caroline's, January 8th, so I'm there to be him.

So anyways, I fuck all this. I want to go to Justin for a minute. Just one minute. You promise? Yes. Everybody knows you as Joe DeRose's friend. No. Because that isn't what you're doing.

Joe DeRose just refers to me as my friend Justin every time he's on TV. He really does. I don't understand why he does that. He's like, oh, my friend Justin. My friend Justin, it's like, I know him. Shut the fuck up. If I...

I know who he is. I know you longer than I know him, Joe. That's what I told him. I go, Joe, just say Justin, I get it. If Justin didn't have a TV show, Joe would refer to him as a guy I know named Justin. If he didn't have a TV show, he'd just be like, ah, some guy.

I don't know. He wouldn't fuck. Some guy who walks up and talks to me. That's true. Joe is a fucking climber. He only climbs up the wrong people. He climbs up the wrong people. So you have a show on CBS.

You started off with Funny F Fido. I see. Yeah, which you still do. Of course you still do. And I wanted you to do this year, but you were busy with the book. No, it was available. You never called me back dumb dumb. Just a dude. No, you didn't.

You called me. He called me. I'm going to tell you. I'm looking at I want to talk about real ass dudes. You're looking at the fucking original real. I said, I'm so real. I don't have to say I'm real anymore. People just know that I'm a real owner domain name.

Realized you don't I mean where'd you go wait where'd you go during the hurt when the hurricane was happening? Where'd I go? Yeah, I hidden side. Yeah, yeah, I hit inside. I'm trying to I'm trying to remember I'm like wait was it was during the hurricane I had to like book it while the hurricane was going on like shit. I don't want to fucking. Now here's what you see this is what happened. All right. This is what happened, all right? This is what you do.

You call me up one day and I'm going to, this, I have an issue with this too. This is what you're talking about. Yeah, listen, ready? Really? You call me up on my own, and I haven't heard from you in a while. And he calls me up on a little, and I see it. I can't, hey, what's up, just what's up?

I'm, I'm, I'm, blah blah blah. I was like, yeah, I do listen, man. I'm, I'm doing the, the food for the food for the fun. It's for Fido and, but I was like, yeah, dude. I was like, yeah, dude, I'm doing the food for the food for the fun of for five oh and but I was like yeah, dude I was like yeah, dude. I'll definitely do it. I'm filming a show right you were filming the show I know that the show and I got this thing but he goes well I got a show to do I Never said that absolutely without you go in certain terms. No, I remember this is what I said to you I go dude I remember I said this I go dude I wasn't saying that to say that I have a show

I just telling you that I really have I go and I said this I go dude. I'm very happy for you Right I go do them you remember I'm saying this I don't I didn't make this up dummy you said this to me You're out of your fucking life Yeah, you're out of your fucking lie Yeah, you're out of your fucking mind if you don't think I fucking I don't make shit up I don't get what you said to me Fine you said you said was I kidding? I don't know but you make it sound like I'm being like well I ever show like I said to me this way you said to me you go I have a show to do it I'm I go dude. I know I'm not saying cuz that I'm very happy

I go Justin I'm very happy time I go Justin. I'm very happy Time for you. There you go. Well, all right dude. I just want and I was and then we moved on Guys, your friends. I don't recall if we're gonna do said it if we're gonna do this you said it Can I give the proper intro to this argument? Fighting out of the blue corner You know what can I say that? Yeah, fighting out of the red corner from Boston, Massachusetts by way of Manhattan, New York. He stands six feet tall. Five eight and a quarter. Here's the mouth of bean time and the rubber the

hammer Kelly in the blue corner from Queens, New York Justin I don't even give him the way Justin the Bork Suva I don't know, I had to do something with dog I feel the water the way. Just in the bark

silver. I don't know. I had to do something with dog. I feel the way. Wow. Wow. You're doing something. My dick went limp. You could even get a dog thing. I was going to do a dog thing. But the leash. Mine was amazing. The leash is better than

the bark. I don't know. I have brows. Just what about Justin sexy eyebrows. Anything what about Justin sexy eyebrows Anything good looking and wapo and wapo Justin He definitely have tassels on his boots god damn man. Oh, no fucking failure. It's right there. So battery fight Right, I don't remember. I don't you know what I don't I don't recall that I would ever play like a one-up Minship game. It was weird dude. It was I was probably joking then okay Well, I was probably because I would never be that what the I think you've it was dude I was probably joking it through me. I went whoa. I literally had to go whoa dude

I'm not saying that you know what you know what then you miss interpreted without a doubt I was trying to I was joking because I don't think we don't have that relationship, even. No, no, no. No, at all. So that's why it threw me out. That's why it's throwing me that you're even saying that I was like, I wouldn't say that. But this is what throws me is that you said

that you didn't say it and it did happen. If I did, then I was joking. But here's what this is what I don't get in life, is that I remember it clear as fucking day. I don't. And I have a shitty memory. And I don't understand why you don't here's why Do the finger thing I know some publicists thought you had to do that

I get it you've never I'm not you fucking I'm not a silky terrier dick fuck You don't have to use your hands to me again You shut your dirty usual hands to me again Now what because if I was joking I wouldn't recall what you were calling is how odd the odd intention that I would yeah No, I'm glad you're calling so if I was joking I would recall that cuz I was like Here's what aggravate I said dude apps so fucking loose, you know, I remember let me finish. I said dude, it's absolutely fucking looming. But I remember, let me finish. I said absolutely dude, I'll definitely do it. Let me know what's up. He didn't have specific shows.

I didn't know Vinnie. I go do it, I'm filming this, I'm doing the pilot, I'm doing the book tour, stuff like that. But I said yes, if I am around, I will fucking do it. Never got a phone call again. I apologize. But wait, let me finish. So that means, and he said, all right, you don't call you.

I'll let you know. What's up? Never got a phone call. Food for fucking fine for phyto happens. Well, don't curse about it. We save animals and you've done it before and you killed on it. That doesn't mean I can fucking say fucking fuck fuck. I'm from Boston.

Guys. But food funny for phyto happened without me. I like, you put food. Who did you want? Who did you replace? I'm working. You just keep adding food and. I have no fight place. I like, you put food in. Who did you want? Who did you replace him with? You just keep adding food in. There's no fight place.

I didn't replace it. Who did you replace Bobby with? I'll tell you who I booked it. I didn't replace anybody. Who was it? Well, you told me I was on it. You said I could do it. You asked me for a good deal.

I guess I thought that you had like, because of the movie and I thought you were clashing. I thought you were clashing. I thought you were clashing. I thought you were clashing. You were clashing. I'm like, did you have a CBS thing?

I'm like, did you have a CBS thing? I'm like, did you have a CBS thing? I'm like, did you have a CBS thing? No, no, no, no. When somebody calls you and and say you want to do it and they go yes I'll do it. I have some stuff, but just let me know whatever I can do it I'll do it and you go yes. I'll call you cool. Thank you. I'm on it. All right. I made a mistake Bobby. I've never been honest. I made a mistake. I put you have on it who did it this year was There's three comics I back like you don't remember Lauren Holstin. I don't like this new Justin I'm gonna fuck and I have so much going on that I don't remember No, I think I was on this show Amy someone taught him that too That's an LA that's a Hollywood thing

Ah look what? Hollywood what? A strategy shoot a show about my real life here in fucking New York Just answer the question Nikki opened it Nikki Glazer Nikki Cigal King

King Oh my god Good job, good job You know last dude, you're on Okay, there you go. Six from Bob and there you go. That's just good. Go ahead, go ahead, Josh. That's good. That's good. You know that's D.C. There you go. Yeah.

D.C. And Colin. D.C. Benny. Yeah, and Colin. And Colin, quit. Right. Yeah, okay.

What do you feel replaced by someone? No, that D.C. Benny specifically. Yeah. I think I must have been interpreted. I honestly. There's no missing. Why would I want you to turn it at the word yes? You fucking killed it unless I'm your one. I love it. You want interpreted. I know it is no, there's no missing. Why would I want to turn it? You want it? You fucking killed it?

You left it on me. I love it. You want it. Here's a deal. You call me to get on it. I secretly want it. And then you never call me back. And then you put on these other people.

And you got the defaults. And you call them, and you fucking, you called them back to make them, you didn't just call them and go ahead. Oh, and Judah. You already said that. I said you. And you're a Jew. Whoa. Are you Jewish? Yeah. I'm kidding. Yeah. So there you go. That's what happened. I like Lewis has been on fire over here

for like five minutes. We do next year. Yeah, we're recording. We got it. Okay. You guys are screaming at each other. Well, I don't think he had a lot of great lines that didn't get acknowledged well they got acknowledged we left I left we left I Re-record this I'll rewind this Don't do that Bobby don't do it momentum Has him recording oh no no no we're recording I just need to keep talking guys, okay? Hey, so listen to next year Bobby is not even gonna get a first phone call All right, I don't recall

I don't like it. Yeah, he's like fun. It's like we're accusing of a killing Kennedy. I don't recall I don't know where I was sir. I have no I played the fifth the day was foggy. The Jews did kill Kennedy though He sounded busy. I need a lockdown. Oh You didn't have a lockdown I know that even though I was gonna do it because of the hurricane look You sound a busy I need a lockdown You didn't have a lockdown You never did it for that fight I didn't even know if I was gonna do it because of the hurricane Look I don't like when people call me and go do you want to do this and then they don't call me back That's all I'm saying

That's pretty fun right? You didn't ask me to take pocket photos Brian Freeman Oh another Jew, there we go Hollywood, that's what happened He's all Hollywood now Around a couple years ago he's like Another Jew, there we go. Hollywood. That's what happened. Fucking Hollywood. He's all Hollywood now. Around a couple years ago, he's

lies in the line naked with a guy. He's a fucking down-earth guy. Line naked and jerk off. With a real ass dude. That's why I'm Hollywood. That's how you get ahead in Hollywood. He's like naked with a dude. Yeah, with Lewis.

He really does have all the Hollywood answers. He really does. I can't recall. I can't recall. I don't remember. Did I say that? I must have meant something else. Fuck you, Justin. Now I hope your show gets canceled. For you, not for us, for you. So you can be you again. And then the show gets picked up when you

learn your lessons of life. So that you're not a fucking dick shit. Good story. I want the success to come back, but after you learn. What an episode this is spicy. So let's explain what you show is for people that don't know what it is Well now they hate them. We couldn't have explained Leave me more people hate me on my fucking podcast and they hate Justin trust me. Yeah, but they hate you for having them on I said you but you get it. There's a call back to earlier. It was better. I'm on your side in this. I hate Bobby.

Wait a minute, let me turn your mic down. So go ahead, what's the show about? Tell people what the show is about. I've been working with dogs for as long as I've been doing comedy for like 10 years and uh... This would blew me away too. I didn't know you worked with dogs. How did you not know that?

Because Joe, because Joe, your friend, Joe DeRosa, he had, I thought you, I knew you were a dog, you walked dogs, but I didn't know, I mean, you think somebody walks dogs, you gotta know about dogs, but you don't think somebody knows that much about dogs. I mean, you walk them, there's around eight dogs, and you're like, all right, whatever, this guy's making it. But you actually know shit, you know how to fucking,

and you went over Lewis's house. Oh, yeah And you And you've been a session with his wife You did some milk grabbing is that what they call it? What do they call it? No, I've been doing I've been working with dogs for a while All right, give me the no I was a liberal on this one. I kind of saved that at the end when I brought it back I like Dan having a lot going on in his career. Let's have the band-aid.

He's fucking blowing past all of us. Let him kick the band-aid off for a few more. He blew past all of us a year ago. What do you talk about? Well, he didn't blow past made-cuck-sucker. He's got 30 minutes of kind of good material. I'm good. He gets called decent. He's got 22 minutes of okay material. He's gonna do four minutes on a shitty show. Yeah. There's not even a fucking network show. It's PBS.

And it's very funny. Corporate Dan. I love the work they're doing. If anyone from TBS is listening. I love you. I, what's in it? What channel is that? TBS, I think it's 243.

It's in the tens in New York. If you live in Spanish, how do you don't get it? Justin, you, go. Let's get to the bottom of this friendship. I don't like this. What do you mean? We gotta fix you guys. We're fun.

No, we're fun. We're fun men. You guys seem to dislike each other more than Louis and I do. Are you out of your mind? No, impossible. I love Justin. I've always loved Justin. I wouldn't have on the fucking show if I would, if I didn't like it. What about that lady who reviewed?

I would you write? I love this. I got a little thing for her to she was kind of hot. Yeah. The chicken reviewed. Yeah. I don't know. She's a cans. She had big boobs. That's what it is. Let's just get that. Yeah, buddy. That's what you should even review. She gave my, well this is what happened, is Dan Schnitzel from fucking, from Stanna Brecker. Who's a great guy, sweet guy, and his heart is a little Jew? Oh Jesus man, we, it's not, Lewis. This is what it's like on Facebook every day. You know what, I see why you get irritated though, it's just like it's not funny.

It's like you want him to shut up, it's not a Jew shit. Oh man, up, we in the band there. Yeah, we in. Jesus Christ, yeah, juicy. Oh, man. Oh, man. Up, we in the band there. Yeah, we in. Jesus Christ, yeah. Just be a bit more mouth-dum-ass. So anyways, Lewis is in a pitch meeting. So what? Do you Jews like the idea?

Oh, man. Is this going to be a show or what, you Jews? We, what was I saying? I thought you didn't review. Now review the girl with the can. Yeah, you talked about some big tittays Well Dan, Dan actually was like it was after me for my first CD that I produced Robricot alive. It wasn't my bad, but fuck it, whatever, it was my first my first

CD I put out myself and for years he's been after me. Finally I just gave it to him because Comedy Central didn't want it. It was whatever and I gave it to him and he re-released it as like he really put it out there and had gave it to everybody and said, review this and tried to build up hype around it, which I didn't really want that. I thought he was just gonna put it on a site and sell it. And I'll send people there and he'll get people there.

But people reviewed it. So this girl her first day on the job at this internet comedy site, they gave her that to review. What site? What was it? La that to review. What's that? What was it? Laff's something. That's been trickle.

No, not Laff's been. Truckle blogs. It was some side splitter. Side splitter. Okay, and she reviewed it, honestly. I mean, she would look. She said, my CD, she really was like, look, this is an old CD, I have to do it.

And the other CD is really great. It doesn't compare. and she laid into it She really one of the problems was she was saying that we she it was like a 10,000 word assignment Yeah, it wasn't they were like yeah, do 10,000 words on this so she couldn't be like well It's not this best work. She had to be like and then this and the Sivley shitty she's what suck 10,000 times But she was ten dollar words and it was really like. Very few people can write good reviews about comedy.

The other ones always fuck it up. But she actually did a decent job with what she was given and it was kind, but a little harsh. So do your hits, your CD. Not that I said that at all. Well, we went through it and there was words I couldn't pronounce in the comedy review of my own. I was literally fucking up words. I didn't know couldn't pronounce in the comedy review of my own I was literally fucking up words

I didn't know what they were and I was like she sounded like she got out of fucking prison right before she wrote it It's just it's it was too much. It was too much for my 10 year old CD It's like well you gonna do this with fucking Louis. Yeah, you're gonna do this with every not you Louis the Real Louis the Louis You know, it's it was a little too much we had her on the show and she was pretty girl. She had big tata You're gonna do this with every not you Louis the the real the real Louis You know it's I it was a little too much we had around the show and she was pretty gross yet big Tata's she laughed She

She was great on the show I googled damn So the recently and I found an awesomely bad review of his live headlining Ticketmaster the one that I tweeted yes dude yeah, I didn't know you too. It was fucking epic. Yeah, they wrote it was from providence Take it master the guy the guy commented on ticket master calm If you go to my Twitter, I tweeted it the casino I took the picture. Yeah, and the guy wrote the world. Wait a minute The Rhode Island. Yeah, catch your as he started catch your as an star in Providence and a blast there. Yeah, well killed two shows I did three and They were well there they happened they. They happened. So the review

wrote the review wrote I remember it. The opener was great. He had lined her dance soda was just not funny. He checked his watch about 10 times in his 30 minute act. No, 30 minutes. I did 45. He fell, no. I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I did 45. I did my time every night. But it felt like three hours. But she wrote, or he wrote, checked his watch about 10 times in his 30 minute act. No one laughed.

It was sad. Wow. Oh man. I tweeted. But there's a thing. I didn't bomb, but I didn't do well. I got through it. So, some people left.

Some, yeah, people left. Was it sad? Was it sad? It was sad. It's a fucking empty casino. When you got off, when you got off, what was the first thing said to you by somebody? The first person said,

No one talked to him, no one talked to him. Nobody said nothing. I killed late show or early show Saturday. How? Let's not get, but nobody was gonna say it. I killed late show or early show Saturday. How? Let's not get. But nobody was gonna see it. I did well. It was the most. You killing for 45 minutes.

Let's just not get carried away. I did all right for like 30 minutes. You're a fuck, you're a solid 22 minute guy. I got, I got, that's 26. That should be, 26. That should be your name of your city, solid 22. A good 26. And then you can just do the 22 again,

but in the Russian accent. Oh, I know, I know, somebody writes good job. Solid 22 a good 26 and then you can just do the 22 again, but in the Russian accent Somebody right good job So many guys I like boys I've been to Persian do more voices actually so I but I had to I know where it hurts him, so yeah that review was awesome It was great. That's why I tweeted it. It was my favorite thing How hot was the waitresses there? Holy shit There was one girl that was like 22 yeah, just literally gorgeous. Yeah, she's married. Yeah, but she's like married. I mean gorgeous

Yeah, really fucking smile like she smiled and I was like That's like I have a beard. I'll do better next show anyways Go right into it anyways. I want to go back to Justin's job here. I have questions for you because I have problems with my dog. Now this is the thing too. Do you want me to tell you about the show? Here we relax. I got you.

Just lay in my arms. This is what I do good. I run the show good. Keep f**king posing. I don't like these posing fulfill. I want ugly shots at Justin good looking car He is a f**k Fucking good looking guy and you do you help dress Joe to rocer at one point? No, my buddy Dave like it's really good clothes for everybody Joe came over and we measured him up and made

really good clothes for everybody. Joe came over and we measured him up and made fun of you. We saw each other's takes. Dr. Hustle, right? I tried to get this guy too, because I was like, maybe, and Joe would never give me the guy's numbers. Yeah, cause he's a hog, he's a fashion hog.

Justin's a gorgeous guy. He actually had a coat for you. He had a jacket for you. Yeah, I don't want to talk about it. We're gonna have a big fight about that. That I think Joe is not on the show anymore. Well, so anyways. So you do the show, but you're a dog walker.

Your mother is actually, what does your mother do? Wasn't your mother something too? No. Wow, I read that. Just do that reaction. No, your mother wasn't with dogs. Why don't I just tell you what happened? Just tell me.

Oh, that's what I'm leading it to. You're fucking mori offered it before. Jess goes stupidly. Yeah, I'll hold and kick you out. I'm getting mad. That was Hollywood. That was. That was holy I really was a Hollywood dickhead No, I had a I've been I've been working with dog that and I have had a dog walking dog training pet sitting company for a while You had a dog or you had a I know you're a dog walking dog training pet sitting company for a while Pet sitting but a training you train dogs. Yeah for a while. I never knew that. Yeah, and so yeah

So I had the dog walking opponent dog training component and CBS was looking for different experts and you know So it's cuz I that so basically you're not a dog walker that CBS come up Hey, dude, can you fucking train dog? You know, I guess no, no, they they like a good look You're not like made in a basement. No the the way they dog Trader like season belongs to old and fucking Mexican. So they got you I can't comment Look like a young Richard Grit regret co-fuck So save getting the lead some CBS fucking execs that he was banging and walking her dog. No, hey, you'd be good at a show No, you know, it's funny. He's like people people think that they comment on the comment online about that I'm like no, I've done like dog training, I've done dog training stuff on Fox News.

I've done, I thought that, you gotta say, I thought that because I know you do, you're a friend of mine every year, for years is a comic. But you don't remember when I did that with Corielli, when I worked with his dog, and he recorded it. I didn't know that.

I was excited to find out that this is real. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That you really know how you're doing. I genuinely do. Very excited to know that that's real, because I think it's fucking amazing. People that can work with animals and get results. It's not an easy thing to do. You gotta have, I believe there's something... You have to have like a touch for it. Yes, something. You have to have a touch. You can't just... You got the shine. And then the interesting thing is I've had...

The only thing that Joe Lis... like, gerbals would listen to Joe. Because you have to think. He's gonna be saying, it's like, shit's his then, nothing. Man, give me the bandana. I wanted to say why we're passing the bandana. I don't think you should get the bandana for a flat tire. It's gotta be a bomb. Was that a bomb?

No, no, no, no. Earlier, you had a flat tire and took the bandana. I think if you like this, yeah, Louis, so fucking smell it, he's, ah, shit. That's not a bandana. It's gotta really get out there and just, so you gotta execute it. You gotta execute it.

Fuck it, so mine was a bandana. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. It's a bomb, Danah. If you just fuck up, you know. All right, we got that one. I don't know. It's not a flop.

So they were, so they, which is not what we're just meeting different experts in the dog care industry. I said, well, why don't you follow me around for the day while I work and they follow me around on training sessions and different things like that. And they didn't really know what they wanted to do with the show.

They came with all these different weird concepts. And some of them were like, even dating shows that involve people bringing their dogs on. And it was bizarre. And they went dogs, and the more, there you go. What was the host? Justin Selver. I don't know as well as Lewis does.

He's doing the voiceover there. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr TARDED at this point man. Lewis cats have some pride. Louis. That's not really. Louis. That's not nearly as offensive to Jews as so does impression of a Jewish guy was. Hello. I am a Jewish man. I didn't even do it in the invoice. That's what I just did. But I didn't know what BNH was.

You don't know what BNH was. I don't know what BNH is. If you want to support this show, please go to riotcast.com and buy all your Amazon needs. Whatever it is, groceries, electronics, stuff I talk about on the show, iPad, many cases, anything, go to riotcast.com, go to, you know what, through page, and use the Amazon link to buy all your shit. You can donate right there to the show through PayPal.

That money goes to all, goes to Kelly, goes to all the electronics we have. Everything we upgrade in this studio comes directly from our fans Thank you for that and go to Gamefly dot com slash YKWD if you guys are into video gaming It's the Netflix of video games you can get the game try it out without having to spend the $60 and then return it for a dollar To fucking game stop So go to Gamefly dot com slash Ykwd two free weeks and two free games I think something like that. What's up? What do you I'm trying to do this? You're nailing it. Yeah, I know I am nailing it, but then you fucking threw me with your long fat alien finger

What what is this show? I throw this in the middle so we don't have to stop We just keep going we're going back to him. Can I just run? You know what Joe? You really should change the name of the show. You know what Joe? That's the name of the show right now. Go ahead. That just good. Oh, so they came up with all these different concepts and some of them are weird. But I tell you see how you went right back in the exact moment. That's him doing fucking 25 interviews, saying the same shit. Look, can I be honest with you, we had A-Shang on last week,

and I understand what he's doing too, because he's been on legitimate shows, and you can't, when we did the book stuff, we went on CNN, I was telling Joe, we need sound bites. We need to say the same thing over and over, perfectly, every time, because if you give them anything else,

that's what they're gonna show. And me and Joe did CNN and they asked us a weird question and he went off on, well, you know, on some of the biology of men, and that's what they, and it was just like, I saved it with a funny line at the end, because we were trying to promote the book, funny, funny, funny, don't take us too serious.

And then they just, on the scene, on the YouTube, Funny Funny Funny. Don't take us to serious. And then they just on the scene on the YouTube, it was Joe going with the biology of men and the way we are, it's like, oh boy, oh boy. They caught us out there. Do you take his glasses off? No, he didn't. Take it on. But I understand that you know, like a shung last week,

you just learn how to answer questions in this perfect little box to get it out there. So stop doing that. As a corporate damn talk like friends. I am. No, I am. Go ahead. Go ahead.

So, uh, you know, uh, so the uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, Justin's back. Justin's back. Justin's back. We did nice, man. We had all the new fucking dumb laugh at Queens. Yeah, that's pretty better than that. So they had all these different concepts of what they were gonna do. And at the end of the day, they basically were just like, were they formed, they created the show around what I was already doing, which was seeing clients.

And you see enough like wacky clients and people with their crazy issues. It's like the amount of the way people like anthropomorphize their dogs and the way people are. Whoa! Whoa! You ever used the word that somebody gave you? That's my word.

No, it's not. Anthropomorphize. What does it mean? It means when you give human characteristics to a thing or an animal, like you make people like treat dogs like children and go ahead. You know what I'm saying? I'm back in.

So, but if you watch the show, it's like there's enough meat just in the back and shit that my clients do. So they were basically just they just created the show around what I was already doing. They were like, you know what? This guy knows that it'd be on camera from comedy training. Obviously, you know, that stuff. That was it. Comedy train. Comedy train. What are you talking about? From being on from being on stage. Comedy training. Yeah, but that's nothing to do with being on camera and being on stage have not been comfortable. Just being comfortable on camera. I'll tell you what it is.

You don't want to be uncomfortable on camera because you're a fucking ego maniac like the rest of us. And you've been dying from day one to be famous, except for Joe. Joe was a little bit. I could not hate myself more. Yeah, it was cool. It's not from comedy. It's from you this what you wanted to do from day one. You're a good looking

Here's the thing too is that you're a really good looking guy I mean the best looking guy in the room right now You've ever had on the show. I think I think he's better looking than a show Galman I would take the Gulf to go my false no way I would take Justin of a gulman. Gulman's too much. There's too much to climb. It's got a lot of head. There's so much to gulman.

There's a lot. I would let the two hottest guys have both been Jews represent. All right, you know what? I'm going to throw in a hot guy. Kelly's goofy friend Cody. From Australia. You gay, dude.

I know. That's fucking enough for years. You like fucking, you used to track. Macho. Least attractive guy. Jordan. You're the good of staring at you Joe with the fuck. Why are you staring at me?

Look at that. Yeah, it's you Bobby. No, Bobby G's Joe is ugly. Bobby G's Joe is ugly. I don't know, keep my mouth shut. Upload Louis cats out of the water every day. We can play Sun Sunday. I got this club chin man, chick's dick. You do a butt chin. You're adorable. Listen, I was, I don't think Gomez is anything Shut up below Louis cats out of the water every day and we can twice on Sunday. I know Jim and chicks dig it

You do a bunch in you're terrible listen, I don't think Gomez is anything to fucking whisper about kidding me look at my face I've been like a Louis very handsome Lumpass lips. Yeah, Lewis is like that fucking like a tranny like a Costa Rican hooker Yeah, like a good looking tranny you find in like a story It might be that I'm terrified of you. I don't know, could be. I was a little overrated for you past me. Yeah, girls love to fuck soda, but he is ugly.

No, soda, I'll tell you what soda has. So do this, what soda has, ready? So do have, John Chinn. Now, if you look at his eyes, he's got these fucking soft little eyes. Look at me. Not little big eyes and women look at, I'm serious. Look at photos of soda.

He has eyes that fool you into getting past his shitty hair and his big head, the belt of gigantism that he's battling. I don't mean this to be me. I hope that his, whatever serum that leaks out of your brain that makes you grow, like just opens up for like a month. That sounds good. Oh! Baby, what is your goal?

Right before his cone and set. Oh, I can't. I can't. What did you say? All the girls that I've been dating recently have all kind of taken a liking to Soda. Black chicks love me. Yeah women They tell you that yeah, Louis got a deniro thing going on. He does. Oh, yeah, really I like it. I like it Louis always got a sister in tow you like a weave. I don't know like a natural

You like I like natural afro man He doesn't get like he doesn't get like from the hood black he gets like a artsy Yeah, it's white girl black girls. Yeah, the craziest girls on the planet Are they what you see? Let me tell you I have no I don't know white girl blacks are The cuz they're like oh my god really and they'll be like choke me fucking check Oh, no, you stop like no, I'm gonna get right up right up They're fucking sexually do you want me not Germany get you some titty milk some chocolate milk? They're fucking like you were in the bedroom with me.

That's kind of weird that you knew they really they really are man. They're like, all your friends. Dan Soder. Have them come in here too. You're not like, hopefully, hello, baby. We tell you that how much they're happy. I mean it. All right. So listen, Justin. Yeah. So back to you. All right, we got we got side tracked a lot I want to keep bringing it back to you. I really I do Joe first of all I was looking at you waiting for you to tell me who is the ugliest person I was

Weird I wasn't looking at you going y'all the ugliest one well I referenced Norton, but I think I'm gonna get a lot of hate mail now. You think no Norton's ugly Jesus now he's like he's got power. I'm gonna be ostracized Don't worry you're not gonna be awesome on this job. I'm gonna be good words today. Stop it because Justin's here Who is just upset that he isn't said you in the last 10 minutes? He'll get his producers to listen to the show. We're gonna shot So you know Kelly she's pretty unattractive She's on a track you don't think she's attractive. I'm joking Jesus. I'm dying over here

Kelly you've got bailed on me you're gonna be fucking Kelly's a 10 in northern sexy Kelly is a Kelly's attractive obviously. She's a truck. I'm not reneggin on my Norton. With clothes on. I'm ravell that shit. Fucking enchilada. She's melting. Now she's getting guys coming out of the woodwork there and trying to talk shit to me.

You should stop doing that Kelly voice. Right, Kelly? Wink nudge. It's just fucking gross. I can't wait until she takes their side and then she meets with them and they date Raper. Oh, that got real. Probably she'd have said something like way below over the top.

When I say, when I say day rape, I mean, yeah. Yeah, yeah. This feels very attractive. Look at Phil. Gorgeous. Phil never counts. He's under lived with it because he's always the best looking guy in the right photographers are Linda Phil oh yeah Linda Yeah, very good looking. I think Norton's really handsome too. I was just kidding. I

Want to be a dentist listen? I want to be I don't want to make toys. I want to be a dentist. We're back in the juice I get a little bit of a jacket back on your hat and your face might dress the least attractive at everybody I he dress is good. If you like walk around food courts at a mall. Yo, you got a sneaker store, man. That's it. Nikki Glaser, very attractive. Nikki Glay, yeah, that's why he probably had a fucking dump me for Nikki.

Girls think Mike Norman's very attractive. Mark Norman, why are we doing it? Who would fuck Mark Norman? Just look at Alex. He's got a substitute teacher. He's got to face like a substitute teacher. Like a substitute you want to fuck. That one's a bomb. Look at I want I want three substitute teacher. I want three seconds of silence after every bomb. We're really just stepping over there. Put that around your mic son. All right. So Justin, here we go. Yeah. You get this gig. They they

actually, but it's first time so does been called son in a long time oh yeah kill second it took a second reason why the reason why you should have just said it you held your hand up and then delivered it well because I didn't want to interrupt you again like you're a conductor because I fucking consider it so does that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is so does that is a little more from the flute section Bobby doesn't know what the flute is

Nobody say No, but he's safe. Let me just say this. If this isn't the fuck, fuck your face. If this isn't the funniest podcast out there. Seriously, fuck your face. If every week this isn't the funniest show out there. Yes, smart cash, almost. Listen, don't start naming Jesus Christ.

The Lewis just has no social tact. He really doesn't. He really, you really don't. Fuck everyone in this room, how about that? Fine. No, I mean that. No, there's a bend over. I wanna fuck everybody in the throne.

Listen, what I'm saying is that this is one of, this, this, this fuck it. I've listened to shows. They're funny at times. They try to change the fucking world. And I get it. They try to be serious and have these, I, we do that too, but funny, funny, funny.

This is the funniest podcast out there. One of them, at least, if you don't think that you're fucking out of your mind, out of your fucking mind. And the host has the most humility out of any part of this. Yes. Very humble man. Very humble man.

Thank you for saying that. I don't want to take that compliment. But you're right. You got too much humility to take that comment. My sponsor in A used to tell me goes, we used to give a humble button to the humbleest man in the room and if he took it, we took it back. Oh, can I have that pay then?

Ah, that was deep. What's that? What's going on, Phil? What are you doing? It's a Buddhist shit. Phil, under attack. What are you doing? I'm about to get murdered out on the board.

What's going on? I don't know. What the fuck are you peeking around the court and go find out? Go check I'll be right back. You can't save that run a comedy club in a Jewish restaurant. What's gonna happen? We're gonna get a fucking Thomas thrown at you. What what imagine Phil never Louis who? Another Louis that's not that that that be the people that you know this show would fucking literally go down the tubes If Louis CK shut up because all you assholes would just stop talking not me. I'd smack him. No you wouldn't know you wouldn't know you wouldn't

You wouldn't you'd be like I have a kid too Did you start doing material about it? Oh dude you got my kids an asshole How did you start doing material about it? Dude, you got my kid to ask, hold on. Anyways, so you get this fucking show on CBS. I mean, dude, you must have launched your shit. Seriously, fuck, fuck, you got the show, you did it, you know, you're where you're at now. But you went from zero to 60, because you, listen, dude,

you were doing late spots at the seller, okay? And people knew who you were, but you weren't fucking famous dude, you weren't on TV every week. You went from hanging around being a struggling comic in New York, you had a fucking walk dogs to make money, it wasn't like you were headlining, you were even a road comic,

to being on fucking network TV on your own show. From time. Bam, like that. VPN was like. That must have fucked, I mean, what did you do, man? You must have, did you thank God? Were you excited? Did you flip out?

I didn't want to fuck it up. How much did you get paid? It's a good thing. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Let me tell you honestly, the money on like a first season reality show is not that great. Believe me, it's all the, it's all the insular stuff that comes off.

I know, I'm shooting a pilot next week for a travel tour. But no, you know what? The honest, to be honest, you, like the whole funny for Fido thing, which is like kind of a mix between entertainment, my work with dogs anyway, that, you know, I'm going. Hang on a second, go ahead.

Oh no, I know. You know, Justin? The dog guy? Yeah. Yeah. You understand how, I love that I had that mic on. You know, you know Justin You know stand how I love that I had that mic on That I'm so happy I turn that fucking mic on the dog guy This show bedding second season. Oh, that's where you're gonna be for next six months. I know that's where you got to turn it Aren't you the dog guy? All right, so go ahead talk talk. Talk. No, I had, you know, funny for Fido, the charity.

Right, yeah. Which is a great show. What it is. No one's even said what that. I have a, I run a charity called Funny for Fido, which is like, it's very much like comic relief put for animals. And I've been doing that for about six years. So it's like, all comics, everybody performs, Bobby's done it before.

We do these big benefits. I've done a lot. I was supposed to do it twice, but something happened. Right. We do these big benefits, and then all the money goes to the rescue shelter. So it's like, it's kind of like, I've always been sort of mixing whatever I could do in entertainment with animals anyways Great show. I've a lot of the guys like a lot of the people like the the muscle guys who protect animals What are those? Oh rescue ink which is not I love the show. Yeah, I'm funny for Vito. No, I love your show

But I love rescue ink too with the the biker guys. Yeah, they're sure they broke up But it was a great show Was he you ever see it no great show at these fucking Biker dudes They like biker dudes they He said it's why some time hold on the first time we all ignored it just said fucking biker guys again, dude biker Biker Biker what is it biker biker's bro you can Biky. No, you can't. I'm a Biky guy. Those guys are

Bikers. It's an indoor Biky guy. All right. So there's nothing worse than the owner of the place just fixing his glasses. The fuck you doing. Talk to the mic. You know how this thing shit works. About three years ago. Talk to the mic more. Around three years ago I was Con volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan grande, pero también, en el momento de la gente, la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente, la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente, la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente, la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente, la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente,

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The problem is not the story, the problem is that I'm not skilled enough to really tell the story to you can all feel what I'm feeling about how awesome this is. Alec, but really, I can just convey the awesome this is a great story because. Can I tell you what's great? He has a fetish for breastfeeding.

That's great. Okay. Yeah. He should be a photo of his baby breastfeeding off his chick that I know. Lewis, why did you talk to you, you shit now, the gnomes in the room. Let's see. Oh, what? Dude, what's up? Dude, what's up? Yeah, he doesn't care. Come on. I know Lewis why did you talk you juice shit now the gnomes in the room? Let's do some

Yeah, he doesn't care You know actually give him spots of your fatating Jews That was the best of the stories competition I am about Jews. I'm just curious, but he said Jews a bunch. He just says Jews a lot He said Jews a bunch. He just says Jews a lot. Lewis, Louis, because I tweeted a joke about Jews and Louis, because he's really Jewish got offended. Really Jewish. Why did he say what's really?

People that use the term really Jewish tend to not like Jews. Yeah, what's real to Jewish. Really. He's not. He's an atheist talking. Yeah, what's really two Jewish? What the fuck is really Jewie? He's not even, he's an atheist talking even that. No, I'm isn't really Jewish. Explain yourself. What is really Jewish?

If your name rhymes with Jewie, you're a little too Jewish. He's panicking now. Yeah, I'm eating by Jewie. Everyone knows that I'm panicking. It's just telling that. I'm so proud of them. I'm on the pressure. I tweeted that I was having fucking brunch on Christmas morning.

Don't change the subject. Imagine. Yes, I've been. Imagine I didn't know what a Jew was and you describe somebody being as really Jew and I said, well, I don't know what that means. I never seen a Jew. What does that mean? This is great. So look at Louis fucking Jewy face.

I don't know what else to say about it. Just describe the face, Louis. Yes. I'll think of that one, Louis. Oh, Louis, Louis. Louis, Louis. Oh, hang on. look at Louis face. Is there anything Jewely about that face?

First of all, he wasn't talking about appearance. He was talking about character personality traits. Yes. Yeah, what about that? If Louis takes those glasses off, the nose come with it. Which is... Ha!

Ha! Ha! Joe's on fire! Joe's on fire! Joe's on fire! Don't let him off the hook What do you mean hook No, when I say really juby first of all I was joking second of all I love

I you know the real ass dude when the owner is in the room I don't realize what I supposed to say he He's like, what am I gonna say? What do you answer the question? His fucking face is juby. Ah, what was the character? You know what you said? You said what you said. What were the characters or ifs?

You think so. Ah, his big nose. Oh, my God. His fucking face. He's fatigued. Listen. He's fatigued. Pale white skin is tiny fucking Jew hands.

Look at these hands. Jew hands. He's these hands. Jew hands! He was easy shit. They're only big enough to hold diamonds. Three, three, three, four. We can picture this with a twenty-fifth of a bunch of your fingers. I know what you meant and I don't like that. And if you have any balls, you would have said it. It's not like you did less damage with me because you didn't say it.

Wait, I don't know what you think I'm talking about. I know what she's talking about. What's she talking about? The fact that you killed my lord and savor, yeah, bothers me, all right? Fine. I'll say. How are you getting warm?

I was just all of a sudden. They didn't kill Jesus. They set him up to be killed. The Romans killed him. The hammered his nails, sir, crossing the left and the dog. The Romans did that. The Jews didn't do that.

The Jews were laughing while it was happening. Look at his hands. They're believing you. Look at them. Look at them. Who has small hands now? Like his Woody Allen. He said, the Woody Allen hands it.

Overpleeting now. Now who's anxious? Your Jewish Justin Ryan. Yeah. Yeah. But he hates it. He actually denied it on his show. He said he was Italian. He said he was Italian. He said he was Italian. He said he was Italian. Yeah, now who's anxious? You're Jewish Justin right? Yeah, yeah.

But he hates it. He actually denied it on his show. He said he was Italian. He said he was Italian. What the fuck? I did an interview with an old Jew magazine. I did a bunch of Jewish stuff. I can say the way I want to say it.

I'm Jewish too. I had a Jewish foster father. You're not Ken Lazarus. You're Jewish. Three years I celebrated all the holidays. I'm Oce'm Jewish. I'm Jewish too, I had a Jewish foster father. You're not Ken Lazarus. You're Jewish? Three years, I celebrated all the holidays, I'm Moceylech, I'm in the forest. They have to do it again. He went to the Jewish family. He's one.

I'm a camp hour crest. I ate locks. You read anything. Name a high holiday. No, they're in the holiday. What do you mean a high holiday? Name a high holiday. He's the fucking, he's the high hat.

High holidays. Fucking the Jew thing on Sunday. No. It's so sad of that. I used to take all the Catholic kids in the Jewish camp and we used to have Catholic corner. They made a sit in the corner of the church and they put napkins on our head because they didn't want to give us Yamakas.

Why are all the Catholic kids at Jewish camp? Yeah, three. They had three, not all, just three. There's four of us. There's four of us. Three too many. Three is one of the Bible with the Jews. John Fischer's one of the kids.

Really? Is that right? Awesome. Good story. It's one of the Catholic kids. No, John Fischer's one of the Catholic kids. Boy, John Fischer's bombed. Again.

Are you done fixing your glasses? Yeah, yeah. All right, are you done with interrogating poor Lewis who took me on the table? I plenty more, but I'm letting it go. Go ahead. What are you? What's wrong? Lewis is like he's fixing his glasses with his Chinese shoe fingers.

Can you just, yes, sir, Tell me exactly what the sentence was. Fucking Jews. Tell him the truth. Tell him the truth. I'm trying to tell him the truth. The truth was not that. I was set immediately prior to that. Okay.

The truth was I'm having, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm Christmas, I said I'm having. Well, this is what, this was say prior to it. Louis. Yeah. Louis Cash. It was very funny. Works your club, by the way, you know? Okay, great.

I was just, just making sure. Um, he, uh, way, you know, okay, great. I was just just making sure. He commented like, dude, Lewis, you say racist shit and it's kind of fucked up. Why do you do that? Like he was actually like, seriously, it's just not funny, it's racist. And Lewis, it wasn't that racist. It wasn't even really racist.

I'm gonna go to Chris. I just noticed a lot of jute talk, that's what I'm saying. Bro, I love the jute talk. I fucking said, you barely get that out. It's not a huge deal. I really almost broke up. There's team behind me, the team finger. You you talk? I love the Jews I fucking Get that out. I did I I love the Jews fingers with cross So always always race the stuff that they say No, I said was I do it his big thick Catholic fingers with

Crossed muscular I tweeted when I was on Christmas morning that I was having Christmas branch with two Jewish lesbians when I was on Christmas morning that I was having Christmas brunch with two Jewish lesbians, which I was as it was the least Christian thing I could do on Christmas. Oh, that's not bad at all. That's what he was referring to. That is what it's returned to. At first of all, that's definitely paraphrased. It was something more. There was more. There was five Jews, but it was close. It was pretty close to that. Lois, you really kind of cut the legs out from under me. I mean I'm not that's racist. Yeah

Oh Do you want you do you want you? Do you want you call cub being H right now? That was today the Jews are on fire Oh And then I Let's put a nice band in on that career That would be the opinion of Lewis's show his hammer fist and Jews are on fire

This is ignorant people I am killing it in Germany So come on. Well if you had to make the case that he was a racist, what would you say? I would say go to his Facebook page, just look at this. Go to my Facebook page, you read it all. Nothing comes to mind, the worst thing. There was a lot of juju juju, I'm not saying, first of all, I wasn't actually offended. I was saying there's a lot of ju-talk on your Facebook page. For non-ju.

For not being funny. Go ahead. And making a lot of ju-comic. I was fine, I think it was a fine comment. I was saying, that's all I'm saying. I'm not saying that, I'm not saying that. So you're saying, you're saying, as you were, as you were. I'm not saying that, because it was a fine comment. I'm saying. That's all I'm saying. I'm not saying about it. So you're saying, and I'm like, as you were just on that comment, because you're a fucking racist. They're all from Georgia and South Carolina.

You're a tracking race. So you're saying that, hey, lighten up on the June. I don't tell you how to do talk. You know, I do want to talk about anybody. I think what he's saying is either lighten up on the June talk or start making it funny. Yes, there we go. That's what I'm saying. That's exactly what it was. So you're not, you're not a problem the juhtalk or start making it funny. Yes You know you know But make it funny. Yeah, well he's funny. So how many rule so basically what he's saying Lewis is stop talking about Jews

I feel like we had just Jewish a Jewish That's a flat tire that's not a bomb. Yeah Maybe Flat tires just stupid gorgeous eyes cuz you made me bomb yeah Jewish court boom came out wow You're gonna check is please check his Facebook page. It's Lewis Jay Gomez. Yeah, Lewis Jay Gomez comedy Facebook.com Slice that Mexican. Oh come on Please check his Facebook page. It's Lewis J Gomez. Yeah, Lewis J Gomez comedy, Facebook.com slides. Is that Mexican?

Oh, come on, bro. I hate Mexican. What, do you really do hate Mexican? No, I don't hate anybody. I'm not going to face, but right now I'm in the hateful voice possible. There's what, Mexicans? I don't hate Mexicans.

I do. So, do thing. No frustrated. This is the law degree in no, because he's going to nail Lewis to a quarter. Just whatever wants. You're just messing with that. That's actually hanging on the wall is the law degree in no because he's gonna mail Just whatever once you're just messing with that That's actually hanging on the wall is law degree. Yeah, how fucking off is gonna drop the hammer? Do you think when he was going through school and working hard to get it to pass the bar?

He think it was just a bunch of assholes on the room and it is law degrees just hanging on the wall Or that he studied to one day take a Puerto Rican over the coals on a podcast on the wall or that he studied to one day take a Puerto Rican over the coals on a podcast. Well, I'm can you. You showed her the name of the picture of my baby first. Yeah, I don't try getting to his heart. I don't try to get to his heart. It's fucking with the jury. What's what do you call that?

Fucking with the jury. I have tampering. Tampering. Tampering with the jury. A lot of Puerto Rican's tend to be anti-Semitic, you know. My mother-in-law is Puerto Rican. She's anti-Semitic. Is she really?

How was that, do you know that? Well, you tell me what you think. It was, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis. First of all, yes, yes. You're not being so Jewish, cleaning your glasses. It was father-in-the-day. It was father-in-the-day.

And we had the whole family, my whole dopey family over for father's day. And I'm gonna take everybody out to a really fancy steak restaurant for dinner, our favorite restaurant, right. And so reservations like six o'clock. So at 5.20 her mother starts fixing people's snacks and I'm at the couch and I'm saying and I and I said you know I said don't forget we have dinner at six o'clock and mother says yeah he doesn't want to waste his money. Wait that's the opposite but that should mean you were doing the opposite.

No, if you're saying like I didn't want them to eat because then I would waste my money at the rest. I got to that like she thinks I was like I just didn't know. Yeah, but it's the other way it's like you get them full at the house you don't have to waste as much money. That's not what she meant. Right because it's with that rush is it the Brazilian place? No, it's a steak restaurant.

Oh, all right. So then I said I said no that's not what I meant, Yolanda. She was, I was just kidding. I was just kidding. Yeah, but then what's the joke? Can I say something though? Your mother-in-law's face, it's hard to know when she's kidding. Because she kind of has an angry,

she has no sense of humor, Robert. She's never kidding. I've never heard her tell a joke. She's made me laugh. It will not be a problem. We were talking about Jews one day. Hey. Look how he eats bread. Look how he eats bread.

Look, he pinches it out with those fingers. It was diamond fingers. It makes rules into a ball, throws it in like popcorn. It's bread. Slice it up, would you? For God's sakes, put butter on it. And then one time I told her that I didn't want the baby to be watching TV. This baby was around four months old.

And she says to me, she can't study all day. I said, what are you talking about? She's four months old. It was like a Jewel thing. You're a Jewel thing to have your baby studying all the time. It's a smart thing. That's a smart thing. But it was.

But she's jealous of your education. What kind of prosecution let the defense have the evidence? I know. I'm not sure. That's a good idea Yes, she's kind of prosecution. Let's red defense have the evidence. Yeah, I know. Well, only my sister's that's a good issue. That is a law of evidence. You have to let the defense have the evidence. Damn it. That is true.

You were talking to you and Quarten Brasson, my fucking mouth. Moosey movie Cape Fear. Oh, yeah. That was the whole issue that Robert De Niro didn't get to see the evidence, Nick Nalti kept it from him. Yeah.

And so how that turned out. That's way to dumb down law. So we understand it. Did she came. And so how that turned out. That's way to dumb down law. So we understand it. They came fair. Loved it. That's it right there, kids. 14 years. 14 years.

Did you get it? All right, that was kind of a All right, here we go. Oh, Louis even had better than it. Stop, stop, here we go. One, this is, I think this is the second one. Let me just set you up.

Let me just set you up. This one's all right now. We're going to be reading. This is the court case. The court case to settle if Lewis is the court case the court case to settle if Lewis is a racist Jew hating judge Robert Calis I like playing tip Lui Kats now I see it is three comments in a row

three comments in a row on the same day We're gonna have the Jew. Read the comments. The prime is being a dinosaur. Hold on, hold on, I want this to be my lawyer. I say, what? I'll be the lawyer. He's tired, it doesn't matter if he's good to me. I got this. Are you being the attorney?

I'm the bailiff. He's the bailiff. You, you're the audience. You're the audience. Wow, we know, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no was careful. It's Italian boy. It's me. I'm a Italian. You're the jury. You're the jury. Justin Jury. No, I'm in the jury. You're the jury. Joe is the Joe from Boston is Lewis's defense lawyer. You're on my bailiff. I'm the judge and we got the plaintiff. He's the prosecutor. Prosecutor. He's the lawyer is the DA. Louis cats. We're just going to call him cats. We're going to call him bagels So we can't, that's clear.

All right, there we go. You go cats, please present to the court. Excuse me, Baylif, can you hand me? Session is now in order. Yes. Designing Judge Robert Kelly. Here's your, here's your wooden gun. Here's your dickhead.

Oh, dickhead. All right, all right. What do you got there? Jew dude? It's bagels, dude. Right away, right away, what do you got there? Jew dude Right away right away. We got this out. I was kidding. I was kidding. I was kidding. Now we'd retrospect. I realize what bothered me was what is he? Humans all in a row.

Don't fucking back. I'm not secure. I will back. He told her. He can't talk. First of all, the jury can't talk. I'm sorry. Second of all, I get very passionate about me. You putter-y again, you dirty putter-y again.

You cling your fingernails next time you're in my courtroom. I don't want dirty mechanic hands in here, okay? Go ahead. Pointing with the dick. So here's the first comment. These are all within a day. Read one comment first. Don't just go right into the next one.

Just added the word jui to the dictionary on my cell phone Mary Christmas. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh Sorry, I guess I'm sure that not as funny altogether Separately hilarious this was spread over like a week you'd be laughing your ass off but all the same Shut up Puerto Rican just Just out of the word, actually, on my cell phone, Merry Christmas. Okay, now stop, stop, stop, let's stop. Okay, what do you have to say about that?

Defense lawyer. This is not my, this is the prosecution here. I know, but I want you to say something. I'm the judge, say something. I'm not a bit of a spec your honor. Then he has to question the defendant. Okay, thanks. We have no comment. You use the word chewy that often that you have to teach

your electronics the word chewy. Hold on, no, I use the word chewy so in often that it was the first time on Christmas when I was calling my friend, that I noticed that I could click add to dictionary. So actually, no, it was the first time just a few days ago. God damn it. That's a good argument. And then you got a lot of use out of it in the following days, didn't you? Objection of objection. Order. Order. Order. Order.

Objection. Order. Order. Order. Objection of the past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The past. The Let him talk. Later on the same day, had brunch with Jewish lesbians today, that was not very Christian of me. That's not that. That's not bad. That's not bad. Not that funny.

A lot of Jewish talk on the same day. A Christmas. Who the fuck else can have brunch with you that's not your family on Christmas? Only a Jew was kind enough and free enough. He's a terrible soul soul. He's also a lesbian. He's a hang on stop. Shut your mouth.

Put the gavel in your mouth. Put that with a lesbian. He's like hang on stop. Shut you put this put the gavoline your mouth Put that in your mouth. I don't want you talking You'll you'll have your chair All right, go ahead and then the closer within within 24 hours of the first you comment was quote I just murdered that crowd of Jews is not the best way to describe doing well on a Christmas comedy show And I'm just saying all this shit in the world. Yeah, it's not. No, it's a lot of you. It's a lot of you talk.

Wait a minute. That's a funny tweet, motherfucker. No, I'm as a fucking owner of a comedy club. One of the best comedy clubs, you always say one of, no. It's the best. The best. No, my God, this. I agree.

It's the best comedy club in the world. Thank you, corporate Kim. I can't bear it. He can. He knows he, you know, you are the best comedy club. Okay. You are. Okay. Now, Jackson, have you been to skid marks and buffalo Here here here here

So you as a comedy club on it. Do you think that last one's funny? Let me read it again. Let me read it again But let's read it in Lewis's voice not the Jew guy voice Let's read it in Lewis's voice, not the Jew guy voice. Here we go. Okay. Lewis, you read it. Alright, all right. Now, clear, I want you to hear this in the voice

that it was meant to be. I can advise against this very much as you're living in. I just murdered that crowd of Jews is not the best way to describe doing well. Can you stop for a second? Can you not read it? You don't talk like that. You don't talk like that.

You don't talk like that. He reads like that. He reads like that. You don't talk like that either. Well, I just, that, you know, you talk like that, you talk like that, you talk like that, you talk like that, you talk like that, either. Well, I just, Justin, you do it. I, I won't say it's a germinated. Justin, you later in my voice.

Justin, what can I do in Justin's voice? No. Give it to Justin's voice. Justin, stop, just shut up. Everybody shut up. I got it. Justin, read it in his voice. Where is it?

On the left column. I just murdered that crowd of Jews. It's not the best way to describe doing well on a Christmas comedy show I think that's damn funny. I think it's a good as your legal counsel Murdered first of all doesn't bother me. I think he's never gonna work the club now because you really got me all riled up I don't see You on you

You on you cry You crime I think I would say the whole thing was blown up portion. I'm just saying all I said was there was a lot of Jew talk on your Facebook page. And I found a refund. What is he be presumed guilty of? So we can do much fucking Jew talk. No, he said not funny.

Has the jury known and Justin come? What is he being charged on not being funny or that he's a racist He wrote racist and not being too much too much to be funny enough now as not a crime listen I you're on order I have to say I mean I think not enough funny a lot of you talking not enough not enough funny Yeah, I agree not not even a not even a giggle, but but I heard his chance of getting an audition here. I would not consider to anti-Semitic Oh, that I demand a retrial from two jury members who haven't spent their entire adult lives and comedy clubs listening to comedy if we get two regular schmucks No, I'm not taking off the streets. They may think this is hilarious

Yeah, by the streets, they may think this is hilarious. Yeah. By the way, that one is being done by Kyle Rezweets. I want, you guys 25 Rezweets. On the last one, yeah, it's pretty gross. All right, right now, you guys listening right now. I want to, guys, put it on the area inside. I'm just saying, I was killing it. He's in the scene.

Shut up. Email YKW. Oh, why? Is it myself with a wooden dick in the head? Email YKWD at, why is he my son with a wooden dick in the head? Email YKWD at ricast.com. If you think Lewis is guilty, and if you think Lewis is innocent, or innocent, YKWD at ricast.com.

And Lewis, if you are found guilty of this, you will be purged from this show. I just wanna say, nobody should tell SD about the tweets though, honestly, because she has no sense of humor about these things. Yeah, because her family had to walk through fucking Poland to get out of, where did all this play take place? She blows that out of proportion, but what if your family was in, that's not fucking,

if Louis said that, you'd fucking your hair, the loser's fucking shit. The little hands would go up in the last two years. Yeah, your little thick glasses would fog up with anger. We've all had, you know, what most Jews have some holocaust in their past, but as he just, she doesn't like... My father could, my father could laugh at a good holocaust joke, you know? My grandma, my grandma is a holocaust survivor and she lamps her ass off at an

Hollywood jokes. Yeah, how did really? What's a good holocaust joke? I mean, you know, that's actually I just mean through it. They may want to career. Yeah, murder enough right? Worse. Yeah, you know, by the way when I tweeted it, I said slayed. That's even worse. That's like exterminated or annihilated. Yeah, gas, gas, gas. You have powdered down first. I've heard that people look. I played for a juice, I was a gas, something like that.

Yeah, see? That's a punch up a joke. It was hot as an oven in there with all those juice. Hey, you're all good. Oh shit, sorry're all good. Oh shit, sorry too much. Bob is really enjoying this. I've heard they really do love like Holocaust jokes in Israel. Just like kind of it's like the undercurrent of American comedies like racial stuff because that's like the background, the dark history of America.

With dark what? Dark TV. Whoa. Don't use this opportunity to give your comedy philosophy. Is that what we're doing? Uh-oh. No, so I think about these things. I'm kind of a professional comedian.

That's what I think. Oh! I think two of those. Two of those. Tell me your dog philosophy, and I'll say my comedy. Oh! Do you want to go on that? Do you want to go on that?

Do you want to go on that? You can read my book. You can read my book on that. You can watch my act on that I will I Have a lot of respect and love for Louis and now we know that Justin has a book So tonight the only two that didn't beef this whole time we had Louis at Louis versus Justin Louis versus Louis Bobby versus everyone Oh, yeah, but fucking nobody he doesn't be with anybody.

That's true. Swedish man. Yeah, he's a fucking, he's a neutral douchebag. Switzerland, Italy. Sweden was neutral too, John. Oh man, guess what? What the hell they were? Sweden was just as new.

Damn, guess what? God hates neutral people. Hang on, my God. I thought you were the Jewish camp. My God is Lenny Bruce Wow, wow take care because they're all right listen so Justin yeah, I Have dog problems I don't I don't like the way you described how I was doing before the show. What were you doing? You were like struggling?

I was I feel like I was like, I got past the cellar. I was doing I was right on course where I was supposed to be at the time. How long have we known each other? How long we known? How long are you doing comedy? Well, a long time. Before Justin got the show, Justin wants to say he was in comedy for five or six years, then after he got the show, you said on record 12 years on a fucking TV show. I'm in a, yes, you did. Yes, you did. Yes, you did. You know, at first, well, I don't, I don't believe you because you said to me and you're No, I didn't. Yes you did. You know, first of all, I don't believe you, because you said shit to me and you're like, I didn't say that and you did say it. I didn't want to do it.

So how can you believe you? Let's have another trial. Yeah, listen, what I'm losing is feelings. Listen, Justin, you weren't. You weren't making a... I was right, but I was doing, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I was just, I was trying to face. I was right on course where I was supposed to be.

What I'm saying is, and I didn't mean as an insult, but you're a fucking idiot, so you took it as one. I fucking, I meant it as, look, I make a living. I pay my mortgage and all my bills with comedy. That's it. I don't walk dogs, I don't fucking babysit. I don't fucking cut flowers with other Mexicans, okay? Whoa, bro, I love that job.

Listen, what I was saying is that you were a nopping cop, what you want, up in Comer Throne in, you're fucking out. I just felt like I was right on course where I was supposed to be with the amount of time doing it. Justin, you told me I was a salad. We're not gonna be up for it. At first of all, I didn't want to go to church.

Hang on one second. Here's a deal, Justin. I got past the seller and I worked here ever since, okay? I worked, I went from fucking the weekdays every single night of the week I was on the show and then I went to weekends and now I'm here all the fucking time. You were here once in a while. Let's not get carried away with past to the seller. You barely passed at the seller. You worked here once in a while.

He left all the funny comics behind. I think that's an accomplishment. No, get leave. You know what, I know this is your house. Why am I being a film? You think Phil, get get leave You know what I know this is your house Peter why am I being a film you think Phil get the Jew Why why are you banish me I'm gonna take the other Jew out if you keep staying I'm because it's because he's the word banish I'm not sure you understood I meant like I was kind of never mind. I'm just saying you know saying is is I liked up I like I like up and come I didn't look at you were definitely up and coming to that's all like Where you were before the show to the place where you were after you Late nights at the seller to having your own show on a network channel prime time

It was a compliment you fucking I got shit with a bum chin. No, it wasn't a compliment Robert What tell him that he was that he was not really funny before he hit the show. I never said that. No, he never said that. That's what you said. That's how it I'm saying. Oh, you got a pass for the seller. And you were there all the time and he was barely at the seller.

What reason was that? You did not get passed the seller. You're saying your club passes on funny people. Is that what you're saying? No, no, no, no. Are you saying that the seller passes on funny people? Is that what you're saying on record? Are you saying that the seller passes unfunny people? Is that what you're saying on record? Are you saying that on record? Did we pass Justin?

Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying. That was awesome. That was awesome. That was awesome. Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's awesome. How long is there Jewish there?

I'm not getting that quote. That's what I was like, you know, no, I didn't clap. I didn't cheer. No, miss, quote. What's wrong with you? No, no, I didn't clap. I didn't cheer. Joe is free. Where would you rate yourself as where you were like, as a comic? Like up and coming, like young comic, like making his way, making his way through the clubs in the city. How old are you in the way in the world today?

Can you say that? Wait a minute. Look at this. Listen to my guy. When I asked a question, he has one more question. How old are you? I went, how old are you? I He panicked on comic. He panicked on comic. Justin kids how old he is because they told them not to. Okay, this is this is the only way.

This is you know, 36 I know you're not 36. How old am I? Show me a license. Give me a license right now. Take out your dick. We'll count the ring. Let me see. Robert can ask him. What year were you born?

Let me see a license. Let me see what can ask him a question. He's lying How old do I wait? How old do you think I am? I just hand me a license? How would you think? I'm 42 1970 why would you think I was older than 36? I don't you won't hand him your license? I was going to license July 30th 1976. Let me see a license. No problem. But why would you think that I'm under 36? Just show me a license. Why would you think I'm over there? Just show me the license Just give it to me. I know why you think you're fucking ninny poop. Give me a license. Can I ask him a question? Okay, among the comics that we're working in the clubs. It's your house. I just want I don't want it

Justin pay attention out among the comics who were working at the club at the time that you were just on Just on schedule to where you were supposed to be as a comic, who would you rate? Like we had to rank the comics. Who would you rate in the same league as you were in terms of like that's a good question. At the time. First of all, 1970, who's born?

Yeah. Ah. I saw the one. Yeah, I want to know, in your estimation, what are the, what were your comic peers? Like if SD was doing a line up, like she'd put you and this person in the same league. I'm so, it was like me, Sam Morel, the other guys had passed right around that time.

It's a hard question. No, I don't think it is. I think it's like the other guys who just passed around the time were getting, who was else getting like those sort of late night spots? I tell you who wasn't, so did Rosa. Me, so did I. So you think you were the same person as Dan? Yeah around the time we're getting who is else getting like those sort of late night spots I tell you who wasn't so to row so meat soda. I would say you were the fun of his dad Yeah, I think we're in the same. I think we're in the same sort of We're in the same wheelhouse. I think that's pretty accurate. I would agree with that

Shults maybe I would agree with that. I don't know. I was shouts was just after so I would say like Andrew shouts Yeah, I would say Andrew shouts in you and yeah, but here's a point, my point was, I was complimenting you saying that you went from late nights at the seller, which is looking, I appreciate it. I appreciate it. For anybody to get, look, there's comics, all comics dream about playing at the seller.

This is where I dreamed about playing. Apps of fucking Luley, that's no small feat to be playing at the seller. You get past the seller, you're in the fucking league. I'm gonna give a small feet. Louie, take your shoes off. Ha ha ha ha ha. Just my hands, fucking am.

They have huge hairy feet. Ha ha ha ha ha. I am. But you went from that to having a network show. There's a lot, you have to tweak different, you have to Facebook different. You can't just say random shit, you're comedy. You can, a lot of people get taken down, network, people are watching your Twitter

account. Do you mean me? I tweeted at him because he posted a picture, he was like the reason I love life and it was a picture of a dog, but right in the background, there's a shirtless dude. Yeah, it was a guy, like that's not what I said. No, there's a dude with a dog, but he had a shirt. That's not even what I said. What did you say?

I said, this made me happy today. Yeah, and it was a shirtless dude. And then I tweeted with a shirtless dude Meditate and he told me to take it down. Here's a deal though is I understand this I don't I know that we're comics and you're supposed to be fun. I get it He's got a shot at having his show and network TV having his dreams come true Something that he's good at and and he's gonna make a lot of money and and a lot of If the shows are hit a lot of people are gonna make money people gonna pay their mortgages as far as producers and PAs and Assistance and blah blah blah if it goes on and on and you we might benefit from it too because he comes to the seller with the show or he brings us on

See with the show or he brings us on. I'm just looking. You see his face. I'm not the same face. He's like, we're doing fine. No one's like, yeah, we're doing good. You and what CBS to come down here and be a national fan? Oh, you know, maybe he's got it on FX on Louis every week. What's the question? You and what CBS to come down here and film a show here? Would I want them?

CBS. Yeah, the network. One of them. I tried to do. The number one network on TV right now Yeah, I would want that of course you would They do little I didn't see I didn't fucking pitch the segment I'm saying that he comes down with the show you're out of order. He's making a bigger point

He's making a bigger by about the two is that it's you got to do have to be careful I got to change your whole form because now you have a whole new fan base that don't know comedy, don't know busting balls, doesn't know about the shit that we do that's funny. That would have been funny maybe a year ago. So someone made a comment, someone in our sort of group made a comment that they made like a...

Your group, not my group, totally different group. I again. He's trying to comment like comedy club owner comedy club owners. Yeah, they made a comment They're trying to be funny when see when Caesar Malone was going through is like he had like a suicide He he was a minute kidding me. He he yeah You got really depressed after his break up after divorce with his wife really did the reason Because I was trying to try to try to commit suicide, try to commit suicide, because there's a, can you stop doing that with your thumb? We get it.

Cause there's a, cause there's a younger, because there's a younger, hyper version of them. And I was like, dude, take that shit, the fuck down. Like first of all,

you don't know my relationship with him. And it's like, what are you doing? Do you know him now? I mean, my relationship with him in terms of like, you know, having sex, both of us being on TV and working with dogs, you know, it's not your place to say that with the fucky. And that's like, and then if you own a comedy club and I perform it,

and you say that, it's almost like I represent what you represent. That's my opinion. I'm not going to say you said it, but I said, take that fuck, shit the fuck down. Well, here's the thing off. Look, man, you, somebody, you know, when I was, look, people from USA Network, people from FX, as soon as I did those pilots, now we're going to do on a travel channel, when I was, people from USA Network, people from FX,

as soon as I did those pilots, now we're gonna do on a travel channel. They're gonna be looking at your tweets. They start following you. And they don't, I get stuff all the time, like why are your fans so fucking mean? It's like they don't get it. They don't understand it.

That's why I say put a smiley face or something at the end of it, so that I know you're my fan, you're not just a fucking asshole. And other people will understand that, oh, okay, they love them, they're just busting his balls. There's gotta be some way to know that these people are just kidding, they're not just fucking evil assholes. And I can't tweet out, I gotta be very careful

when I tweet out because that could, if I have a show that's going on travel channel and I tweet out some racist shit like Lewis, honest to God, and I've had talks with you about this before that if you want to get a TV show with your MMA FX is gonna look at your Facebook and see Jewish remarks You do you they're gonna go get goodbye. How much are those are erased by nine o'clock tonight? Well, that I said I'm a real dude. Well, here's a dude That's what I said here's what I said to go, dude, if you that's who you are

You want to commit to a go ahead, but how are we gonna get sponsors for your show? If you're fucking throwing that shit out. I go to Ronan athletics.com. Right. No seriously He got sponsors that love a show and don't care about it and they hate you But I mean it was a big jump for you and like I've really sure it wasn't something that you built up for years and years and years You went from here to here very fast and now you wait for the season two Maybe to be picked up right how long you been waiting When did this like four months then they don't know what they're just on the shelf right now They don't know what they're gonna do my fucking mind's been on the shelf for three months and they have a they haven't canceled

No, they haven't canceled. They haven haven't said anything. They got a new student. And they don't know because they're sitting, they're the decision making process. It's the worst. It's the worst. Limbo is the worst. You're like just in the hallway. And everyone's like, oh, what's going on?

It's like, you know what? One second, you sit there thinking about like a new house you can possibly buy. And all the great stuff and a good Christmas. And then on the second, the next thing, you're like, oh, fuck, I got nothing. I can tell you what you're gonna leave them. You can leave them.

What was the trend from your first weeks to your last weeks in the first season? Did it go up or down? It always goes like this. It goes up, then it goes down, then it finds, it's honey spot right in the middle. So it found a honey spot right in the middle. It did what it was supposed to do.

It did better than expected. So that's good. Did it go trend? It leveled off and it just stayed that do. It did better than expected. So that's good. It did what we go trend. It leveled off and it just stayed that way. It leveled off and it's so it found its audience at the third episode, which is what shows normally do. So which is good. And then stayed there.

And then it stayed there. And then the Olympic trial, things that affect are like the Olympic trials when I was like, I love it. It's so funny. When you headlining on the road and nobody shows up, there's always, dude, fucking dude, the sea hawks are in town

I mean dude they're dude the con candy festival That's a big thing around here dude Con candy every season to it's like December. It's like oh people are spending too much money Christmas Oh summer everyone wants to go outside in summer. It's like every season has another reason why no one showing up It's for me like ever it's raining outside the weather so nice. Yeah, but I go inside Maybe many reasons it's too cold for people to watch comedy it's too hot for people to haha it's fire it's really but

you you when you when you think you'll find out i think by the end of this month a lot of find out if they here's the annoying thing they can read they can just decide they can green light it or they can say uh... we're gonna renew we're gonna re up your um... your option and then keep you on the shelf longer, which is good and bad because it's like oh We're still considering this kind of thing look here's the thing you love dogs, right? Love them. You love working with them So they can do that no matter where you'll be able to do it now for way more money Best idea your business is fucking yeah, I'm doing very about and and you pussy has gone through the fucking really always got a lot of

Pussy yeah, he did that's kind of how he got pass at the cell What I can't talk about it. I know that story. What the fuck can't nobody better talk about it What the fuck no I will tell you but not under the microphone. Well, what the fuck did you say it on the microphone for? Yeah, everybody pull the mics away. Just talk away from the mic. No, we're good. No, I was kidding.

Are you that dumb? Can you please take that fucking law degree after while it was smashing over dumb dumb's head? The fuck is that? Listen, you're pussy hasn't, your pussy hasn't gone through the roof. You haven't got better pussy. Honestly, can I be honest with you?

It's like, I hope you're like, you're on TV at six out of five. I could do it before. Like women are just like coming and throwing it at you because you have like six at, first of all, who's my audience? Like family show eight o'clock on primes. So it's like a family show.

So what do you think? Lonely chicks with fucking shit suits. No, if you're sitting, you know what, if anything that helps, it's like, if people recognize you, it's like, it helps your introduction and your rap with someone, but it's not like people just run,

it's not like, how much John Mayer, you know what I'm saying? It's not like, oh my god. I'm not the caprio. This is why you're wrong, because girls will fuck you if they just think you're a little bit important. Just like being a comic,

girls will just throw it at you, period. That's that. No, Luke. Yeah. So if you have a TV show, I'm not wrong about that. You're wrong about that. You're wrong about that. He's right about that. You're wrong about that. He's right about that He's not even funny and he got pussy

Nathamine was getting a hand job in the olatry last week really when yeah, can we talk about that or is that another fucking zinger? You're not gonna ask your doctor about hand jobs I got to know about hand jobs There was a hot chick trying to give Natterman a hand job. And Natterman stopped her, actually. Where? At the table, like, to look around. I'm just a cold, and a man or woman.

What night was this? Did he have, he was his car scout? I couldn't see, I couldn't see. I think it was over the pants. He got so mad. Leave the beer here, dummy. You fucking Puerto Rican. It's not a barbecue.

It's not a barbecue. It's not an outhouse you go into. It's a real bad shit because I'm gonna take my beer to pee. Just go. You know, you're gonna try to pee in the bottle. What? Do you have to go? No, no, no.

He's asking out loud in the podcast was to sit typically two hours. All right, you know, you get a leave? No, I'm gonna show you face. I, um, I turn around now to be getting a dick plate. Yeah, what the fuck? He said it was disrespectful to something to the place, and that's why he didn't do it.

Was his dick out though? Was it over the pants, the khakis that he wears? I think that it wasn't out, but she wanted it. She wanted to reach in his pants and do it. Oh, he should have let that happen. He wouldn't do it. Who was this girl? It was a pretty, I don't say,

she was a pretty good looking woman. Does she come here alone? Has she been here before? She been before been before I was like has she seen me perform That's the saddest thing in the world is that I can't it's done I'm never ever have another girl touch my cock and less I divorce my fucking wife Really what really yeah, yeah on the podcast really Fuck is really I mean really

what the fuck have you done one of the touch your head your own show no no I'm gonna go get a fucking blowjob tonight with Joe listen I'm getting sucked off after sets yeah I'm gonna cut a hole right in my mouth on my fucking cardboard cutout

I don't have a Joe blow me so your own dick is coming through the cardboard years mouth and he's sucking it off. Yeah, and that weird, that weird, that weird, that's just fucking very weird, right? I like it kind of shit. My dick is coming through my mouth. Where would Alex say about this?

No call over it. Oh, you know, I'm just pretty weird. Let me ask you that question. If you had to bet your life one way or the other, and the answer, you'll die if you get the wrong answer Yeah, you think yeah until the day you die. Yeah another woman will ever touch your dick. Yes There you go, you're honest Another woman another woman touch your dick so it could be a female doctor like Joe said could be a doctor

It could be what if you have a daughter she might here could be what if you have a daughter she might what if don't what if that didn't mean that's not really don't mysteriously dies on a fucking a road trip uh... well that's not the place you want to bring up what if we're on a cruise ship and actually we can't find them when we get to fucking point a viata happens this is sounded like pre-meditated you understand though if they have this actually might, Dawn actually falls off the board and we can't find her. And they use this shit against me.

Oh, that would suck. I'm a character witness, you know a fold. I'm like, I don't know, maybe I was playing again. I don't bother you, I'm sorry. Why, you're married. Do you think a woman's gonna have a touch your penis again? Yeah. Wow.

There you go. Do you have an agreement? I'm gonna arrange it. I know it's Joe. No, I'm married to a fucking Puerto Rican. There's no arrangement. Yeah, the arrangement is if you let a girl touch your cock and cut it off and I'm gonna kill her. I know it's Joe No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, what is wrong with you, Jew Hater? That's my new nickname. So anyways, I have a problem.

This is, we're getting that too. I really wanted to get to a, this other thing, but I have a problem. Here's my problem, Justin, I want you to help me. As I heard you fucking went over Lewis's house with his fucking crazy dog. And within one session, you had this dog under control. That's fucking crazy to me.

My dog, you know, every time you're eating, he'll fucking try to attack you while you're eating. Right. And fucking Justin came over and he showed me some tricks. We worked with him for like an hour. And this is me having Chinese food with him. This is radio, so they're not gonna be able to see that. So you're just gonna show you Bob.

Explain it. I know it. That's what I'm talking about. I was gonna show it verbally. Yeah. So anyways, listen. The show's gonna die for watching videos dumb dumb. It's not a video, it's just a picture.

Alright anyways, that's him sitting down on me and me and me and you and me and you and me. Alright, shut up, listen, just it. Yeah. So here's the deal, I'm having a baby. Okay, cool. Looks like pretty soon. He says, not me.

Ah! There we go, that list has been in the bullpen all day. I'm not throwing to's fuck you list comes in He's the fucking truth baby 12th my last 12 I'm not gonna lie. I don't know how I still have this because no one else is making jokes That's why I've had the bandana since the 70s. Oh, thank god you're here Since Justin was born I Wow I know

I'm having this baby which I congratulations, you know, whatever Yeah, thanks man fucking Hollywood. He went that's very nice Hollywood who I Can't you learn a lesson that's like me saying I hope the baby comes out retarded do not say that's way different I love the yes, baby Oh All right, listen, so the bait now we have these these dogs that have slept in the bed with us What kind of there? Shitsu and silky tower here, okay, And they've slipped in the bed, slept in the

bed for 12 years. They're 12 years old. That bums me out. Because earlier you said Silky. You got a awesome word that you just made it up as a guest of funny shit you've ever said. But now you have. Now it just finds out that that's just the dog you have. I'm sorry. I use the reference that I knew. Isn't that what you do? I know. Just say I'm a little disappointed. I think I just whipped Silky Terry out. I did think that that was high level comedy. If you just whipped silky Terry out. I did think that was high level comedy if you just whip silky Terry. Now I gotta rewind and change my reaction. You know what? You didn't on air.

You could have done that in your head. Good point. Now you make me feel shitty. All right, so I have these. Do you all hate each other? Is that what's happening? No, no, no, no. I love Samba very much.

Shut up. I love Samba very much. I have these dogs that sleep in the bed. Now we're gonna have a baby and I gotta get them out of the bed. They can't stay in the bed. I don't want ass dog ass hole and fucking piss foot in the bed. All right. Where the baby's gonna be.

I'll find out that dog's name is Pissful. I'm gonna be upset. I love Joe List. It's literally one of my favorite people to ever have on this fucking show. Listen to me. Yeah. What the fuck am I gonna do? Did I? I have a doggy house like the one that they're both of them fitted. I understand. But I mean, I don't care Like I can disconnect from the dog. It's a dog throw it in the fucking thing. Fuck you. No, you don't have to do that It's not so black. I want to do they will they not sleep in the bed also. Do they know they've never not slept in the fucking thing, fuck you. No, you don't have to do that. It's not so black or white. Do they, will they not sleep in the bed also?

Do they know? They've never not slept in the bed. Have you ever tried to get them to not sleep in the bed? Do they freak out? No, I mean, they look sad as shit. All right. So you got it, you got to sort of blend it in a little bit. You got to put them down.

Is that the Puerto Rican? That's the Puerto Rican dog whisperer. Fucking kill it. We have two portals and we didn't, we let them continue to sleep in the bed after the baby. Can you let dogs sleep in the bed with the baby? My dog can't sleep in the bed. You gotta be aware.

You're gonna put your baby in the bed. You're not gonna put them in a crib. Hang on, we're gonna do that right now. Do the same guy, the same thing. My dog sleeps in my bed every night. Hang on one second, hang on. First of all, just let me say this. Your dogs, small, way smaller than my dogs.

You have little teacup portals. My dogs are like, you want it? Hereacup poodles my dogs are like you want it Here's what you want here's what you want it. Yeah, there's no absolute like should you be even? Okay, buddy, I'm gonna go buddy. Yeah, you don't have to sneak out you can say goodbye I'm gonna be cute by Louis. Thanks for being on the show man. What's your Twitter? Twitter dot com backslash L.O. U.I. S. K. A. T. Z. What? Who does that? Just say at what just say at Louis cats at whatever man I'm never a good at Twitter. So did you just what you up in the bathroom at do you have a website?

That's sensitive to my HTTP call and slash Louis cats comedy dot com get my album if these balls could talk and you can listen to it on Spotify for free Why don't you tell me get a to buy the fucking album? Why are you doing a blue? Physician leaving. All right. Thank you everybody. Yeah. Why are you the worst promoter? Ever you just take heroin in the bathroom. What's wrong with you? I'm about to miss my set downstairs I gotta go go go go go go go go go go go in my own too. Well, they yeah, what am I on?

I don't know when you're on what time's your spot. Are you first? God you early show guys finish scuring Justin though before the show I can bring it up on my phone you keep talking. I go ahead. Thank you Kelly. Um, I fucking call me that again There's no there's no like should shouldn't believe this is okay. You don't want to think about black I'm white like that like I have blacks a better than I work. Oh, sorry Go ahead like I you know my dogs sleep in the bed. When I ask them to get out, they get out. So you want to be able to have the option of doing both

and then you'll make those decisions as you want to make those decisions. So you want to be at, let me just make it, you want to be able to have choice. Yeah. So the thing is, you don't have choice if it's like my dogs have always something been than they can.

But you can, the whole like, you know, you can teach an old dog new tricks. Absolutely. There's ways to do like positive reinforcement to get it so that the dogs will happily sit there while you guys are sleeping. The same way as Lewis's dog, sport is not going crazy while he's sitting on that blank

and you're showing him food. So I'll come over and I'll, Fuck my wife. I'll take my dick out. I'll come over him and I'll work on that with you. What? You're after Louis. Okay great.

Cause I assume he's filming it. I'll work on that with you. I'll work on that with you. I'll work on that with you. All right, cool. But can I have them sleep on the bed? Yes, that's up to you You're the father. I know I know, but I'm I don't call myself the father. I'm the alpha male You're the alpha male. Okay, I'm the pack leader. I don't I don't think in terms of Packed high because because that what he does who the guy who tried to kill himself it

tried to kill himself. It, that's why it's just like, I was just different there, it's nothing. You don't believe in facts. It's not that I don't believe in them. I don't get it. It's not sort of, that's not sort of the paradigm that I follow. It's not the big word.

I don't follow the paradigm of like, you know, alpha and then alpha, I don't. Really? No, there's like, there's aspects of that, but it's not the, for me, it's not the end ol' be. That's why I should try to. So if I wanted to, I could let my dogs, I could let my, I'm let my I'm laughing because I feel

Jolus presence just staring at me like when is the funny happening? So I was thinking Joe's like the kid from the radio head video that you listen What I'm saying I could let the dog if I wanted to let the dog sleep in the bed It's not gonna harm the baby. It's not gonna be bad for the Listen, I don't know your dogs. I don bed. It's not gonna harm the baby. It's not gonna be bad for the baby. I don't know your dogs. I don't know how your dogs gonna be reactive baby. Like I have pit bulls that I have around infants

and they are perfectly well-behaved. I also have- Because of you. Because my dogs is happy to be very well-behaved around kids and then I know people who have little dogs you would think this dog can hurt a baby but they're very, they're very, not very vicious but they're very aggressive in their play style

with the baby. Even if they don't mean harm Like Lewis's dog sport like jumped in the crib and like his play energy is so I have I had them I had I was over the other day this dog is so interested in this baby But he doesn't know how to control. He doesn't have any impulse control, right? So it's not like the dog wants to hurt the baby But how much does it take to hurt a baby? Just one, you know, they have sharp nails, one scrape on the face and it's like, that's bad.

So we should, they're called nails, not they claws, anyway. My dogs would not go anywhere near the baby for months. They would go to the other side of the bed, it was a very strange reaction. They had no interest in that. I mean, they were put off by the baby. Right, there's different animals of different reactions toward baby. So that's what I'm saying

It's I'll come over and we'll work on that I gotta see it. I would I would like you to come over work on it And I mean look it. I'm glad that we work through our issues today. Yeah, I feel like I think I think you missed on the Still I would never I would never I love you just I love you, too. I would never I'm very happy for you I'm really happy. I like when I love when people Justin. I love you too. I would never. I'm very happy for you. I'm really happy. I like when people out of the blue fucking get a shot. I really do. Because you know, there's people in this business that you know they're gonna make it. Call them climbers or whatever.

Well, no, seriously. No, I don't think all of us have an opportunity and we're all working towards it. But there's some people that you know, they're just, as soon as they get in the business, they're touched. Fucking, you know, I mean, so do you, one of them. People hate you because of your success.

So, I'm kidding. But I, that is not why I hate him. But I mean, there's some people that you know, okay, these people, you know, there's a bunch of people that we're trying hard and we're working and we're progressing just like any other job every year is better and better and I love when people out of the Blue just get something like a fucking dream gig where you're all of a sudden you went from you know doing shows Bustling like the rest of us now you're on network TV doing what you love doing I love that shit you went from how many followers on twitter to what a hundred thousand now not remotely six thousand six

six thousand thousand it's so funny every i just ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Of course. We're damn close. I really fucking, what the fuck lie, dude? It's a very niche thing being a gay dog walker. It's not that many people that are into it. I like this. I'm sorry, I like this bump. But I'm glad, man. I hope they pick up your show. I hope they pick up your show.

You're gonna come to my house. You're gonna help me with the dogs. Definitely. And then will you come back on the show? I'd love to. All right, good. I'd love to go over your to we got to talk about you guys being naked in the bed together. We didn't even get to it. You showed up jerking each other off. We didn't jerk each other. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

Patriots season has passed. Never got the call. That was in August. I'm gonna have all the Boston guys over for the pets. I guess it's before the AFC championship. Maybe we can go there. I guess I'm doing it now. championship maybe we go there. I guess I'm doing it now. Yeah. So all right. Well, we're having a. I only had 16 games. Yeah, but what? All right. I'm sorry. 17 weeks. Schedule. I know. Maybe when they played the 49ers could have invited. If they play the 49ers, we're having a balance. Well, let's not have soda there. I will be okay. All right. I'll be well. Joe, you said he didn't want me over there. Well, if we win, Joe said we weren't beefing and now we're beefing. You know, you and now would be fit you know, I mean to be corporate

I won't be corporate we could come over after Niners have safely been defeated how great would it be if we watch him fucking get defeated in my house We should live podcast the Niners Patriot Super Bowl That's what we're doing if the Patriots I don't want to do a podcast during the Super Bowl Why why why the fucking Super Bowl the 49ers are in it. I want to do a podcast during the Super Bowl Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? about you if they win or lose your life. I'm a fan. I'm a fan. I'm a dedicated fan. You know what? Zips out of do. Louis the Jewel.

Nope. That doesn't work because you already cursed me once and then you try to curse me again. And now you just curse in the Patriots. You just made it yourself. It's about November your glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you. Let's end the podcast on that.

If anything, I've had a cold podcast. I haven't felt good about my performance. No, it's fun. Listen, it's been killing it. The Patriots. Louis is stealing all the thunder with his Jew hate. I got it over here being an awful prosecutor. He should be convicted. He's the OJ of this podcast. He's full of hate. And I'm sick of this shit. Justin's a gorgeous man. No, I love you. Joe, you're one of my best friends. Thanks, bud. But don't never

throw me under the bus like that again with the Niners. Bobby, you're saying I'm under men. I love you. Fill feel your gorgeous too. I love Kid. I got back to corporate. What got you guys actually listen to the show why KWD is over for this one what Louis Gila when they plug something what he got Joe yeah I'm getting to that. You fucking nervous Nelly. What do you think I don't know how this works? Hey you know I have severe anxiety. B is Anchor Joe you fucking go the shows over yeah What about plug it? Oh, I'm doing the box to get Jesus Joe. All right Joe. What do you have to plug nothing really?

I got an album also on iTunes so far no good, but go to rooftop comedy dot com is I get more money that way rooftop comedy dot com What's the name of it so far no good one of the funniest guys in the business man and great on the show i love them hilarious joe slushy to be in over me and what's your Twitter name at joe list comedy okay just in what he got you guys you just follow me at i am just in silver please follow him we need to follow he needs he needs to be he needs to be

98,000 more followers of some list of me everybody i want a fucking rally behind this guy. We need him to get a lot more followers and I hope your show gets picked up. It's on CBS. It's called, dogs in the city. Dogs in the city with gorgeous Justin. They should have that.

And if you actually, people actually need dog stuff, you can check out my website, the language of dogs calm and the Twitter Handlers at language of dogs and fucking email CBS tell him you love the show. Yeah, you can actually that's what's the email CBS tell me want to show back on your email those Jews at CBS Your dumb mouth really choke on it you fucking Puerto Rican Dan your last no I have really choke on it, you fucking Puerto Rican. Dan, you'll last. No, I'm done, I'm done.

Listen to Noam's podcast, it's my favorite podcast of all right now. I've never been on it. I'll do it tomorrow night. Joe, have you been on it? We're time. I have not. Justin, have you been on it?

Justin, you want to come on? I'm not allowed in the comedy, so. I've actually, there was an article, I'll just say there was an article I sent it to, you want to have you read it, that a two-year-old, the average two-year-old baby is as smart as a dog Yeah, yeah, and I wanted to talk to you about that. All right, so we come on as podcasts

Yeah, I don't know if I could do tomorrow, but I'll definitely I'd love to come on all the road All right Lewis, what do you got? Follow me at the juice layer No at Lewis Jay Gomez and also I'll be headlining Carolins Tuesday night tomorrow That's tomorrow, right what headlining carolines Tuesday night tomorrow. At headliningcarolines tomorrow night, 730 showers Thursday. Please go support Lewis. Yeah, support me. It's only five out of 10, because go to carolines.com, tap in the promo code breakout, and it's

five out of 10. Please go. You guys just about your podcast. I don't think Jews are coming in any prize. You don't have to brag about the prize. I know she's by the way. Five dollars for still not coming. I have. Tempting. in any price. You don't have to brag about the price. I don't shoot by the way. $5 for still not coming. I have.

Tempting. Please go check. Listen, go check out Lewis Goma. You support the show. You listen to the show. You're in the Jersey, New York area. Go to a show. Show up.

Show some love for Lewis. He's headlining. The more people that show up, the more times he gets the headline and the more money he makes. And he's got a baby. So he needs it. More to read. Yeah, he's not he's got a baby so he needs it. He's got a freaking.

And listen to Noam's podcast. I got sidetracked a little bit. Live from the comedy seller, ryecast.com, one of my favorite shows. It's every week it gets better and better. And Noam, you're fucking became a great host. It really did. He's fucking funny. Dan Natamans on it, Kristen's on it, and the guest he has on, he has real guests now.

It's like a fucking show show. I'm very happy with it. My girl listening to it like regularly. It's a great show. It's uncomfortable. Phil, the photos you took, the photos Phil took of your show. The photos are fantastic.

You should have them on news. I didn't get back to them, but his photos are fantastic. But the truth is, I'm embarrassed to ask you to come to photograph because But I will talk later, but his photos are fantastic. Why would you be a good? I because I don't like anybody doing something for nothing You know it always makes me want to take care of that care of me. It's fine You know comedy it's just it's an honor to be you know the seller so but I have a word press Side up now for at the table that live from the table calm

And I'm thinking that I can just give you access to and you can upload photos if you want to be amazing that's not a thing for the way you want to be vaccinated so that you know what you're uh... also uh... filth and so dot com filth and so dot com you need photos for anything these are anything i go to this photo fantastic fucking believable photographer please you need photos for anything any's beautiful i'm really happy to say to uh... carolines gave me the go-around

They're gonna get all my photos in the lounge. So they're replacing Really good I want you to do my headshot. Yeah, I want the old one. I'll do headshot I want you to do my headshot because I'm getting shit from everybody Lewis had a photographer while he was getting was wife He's giving birth to you. Yeah, she was in the room all time really But fucking 35 hours she was in the picture of the head coming out. No, she's in the room all time. Really? Fucking 35 hours. She was in the house. Did she get a picture of the head coming out?

No, no, but I got a lot of bloody ones. I got a guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dan Soda, what do you got? At Dan Soda tonight, I'll be on Conan, TBS. Make sure you guys watch that in tweet, follow, support, retweet. Yeah. Everybody to watch that.

I'm so proud of you, buddy. Good for you. You've come. You were waiting tables. You smell like Mexican food. I'll smell like sluncher. I'll smell like Lewis's hands a year ago. And now you're on Conan. How great is that?

That's good. And you're actually at the seller all the time. I love working. Not just one night or two nights a week like Justin was. But that's my favorite place. Yeah. All right. Make sure you guys check out the ryecast.com.

We have 12 of the fucking funniest podcasts Most interesting podcasts on the internet hammer fisting calm Bailey J show Dr. Steve weird medicine Davey Mac show Jersey jerks live from the comedy seller glory hole Jim Florentine show My wife hates me why are you sucking bad and the nerds are fucking great. Unbelievable shows. Support us by spreading the word and supporting our fucking fellow comics.

Go to the shows like Lewis, Dan, Joe, Justin, watch the show. You guys are the best. Thank you so much. I think you're starting to stinkin' stinkin' You know what I'm needin' I'm fucking fucking the bottom line You know what I'm needin' But this car's starting to suckin' You know what I'm needin' Don't stop filming my face. Don't stop filming my face.

Don't stop.