Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Donnie Commissions | The Regz w/ Robert Kelly, Dan Soder, Luis J. Gomez and Joe List Ep #62

Episode Date: May 7, 2026

Robert Kelly, Luis J. Gomez, Joe List, and Dan Soder discuss Luis’ Rogan appearance, Luis doing it right as a theater kid, Dan Soder is slow version of Luke Perry, Girl Code being more successful than Guy Code, life insurance on Big Jay Oakerson, Robert Kelly doing ads on YKWD and confronting him about it, what is each person’s underrated trait, and more! Presented by YKWD and GaS Digital. LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-regz-ep-04-robert-kelly-dan-soder-luis-j-gomez/id371045355?i=1000634076160 SOCIALS Robert Kelly @ykwdpodcast https://robertkellylive.com/https://www.instagram.com/robertkellylive/ Luis J. Gomez https://luisofskanks.com/https://www.instagram.com/gomezcomedy/https://twitter.com/luisjgomez Joe List https://twitter.com/JoeListComedyhttps://www.instagram.com/joelistcomedy/ Dan Soder https://www.dansoder.com/https://www.instagram.com/dansoder/ Thanks to @johng.wav on Instagram for the new intro music. SPONSORS Kikoff Build credit fast and get your first month for just a dollar athttps://www.getkikoff.com/REGZ today. Quince For free shipping on your order 365-day returns go tohttps://www.Quince.com/REGZ Ultra Don’t sleep on @ultrapouches. New customers get 15% off with codeREGZ at http://takeultra.com BodyBrain Coffee Use code REGZ20 to get 20% offhttps://www.BodyBrainCoffee.com/ CHAPTERS: 00:00 - Luis recaps his Joe Rogan appearance 4:12 - REGZ with black women 9:07 - Drama Society and Ruke Perry 15:36 - Girl Code and Social Media addiction 21:10 - Theo Von vs REGZ success 25:08 - Life insurance on Big Jay Oakerson 27:04 - Would you want your kids to remember you? 28:35 - If your parents were alive, would they want your money? 40:32 - The Kelly Files (YKWD Ads) 53:20 - The most fear woman in comedy 57:07 - Is Joe really moving to Texas? 1:14:54 - Wrestling Talk 1:19:07 - Cartoon Bar Fight 1:22:49 - Gabby Bryan as Santa Claus 1:27:51 - Toothpaste on Shirt 1:31:59 - Underrated Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Fill her up. It's up, everybody. We're back. It's the regs. Joe List, dance soda, Louis J. Gomez. Brup, bra,

bra, motherfuck. What's up, boys? And me, Robert Kelly, Bobo. The fat one is Bobby again. What's crazy? The good thing, Lewis will be back

after Skag Fast. It's truly episode by episode. It's crazy because I'm watching, all I'm doing all day is watching Fat Lewis. All day. So to see you, it's stunning. Yeah.

Why you were, you take the jacket off. How did it happen so fast? There you go. The hat's blocking the shade, the shakin shade. I'm a schmid. I mean, yeah. You look awesome. You look good.

I'm not back yet. No, you're not bad. But you look sober. Face-wise? Eating right. Ketosis. Boxing. Eating pussy.

Sucking cock. I'm doing half of those. No weed. Got lots of energy. What's up, bitch? I fucking, I don't know if I'm going to like. this one. I don't know if I like this one.

I think this is overcorrection. I like Stone or. Oh my God. I like Turtle Lewis. I don't like where he's like, you guys ever. I like fat stone Lewis. Yeah, dude. You guys want to just nap.

Yeah, dude. Oh, I love nap time, Lewis. Now I'm the rabbit. Now I'm the hair. The hair. You know, we should do guys, we should clean up the studio. What's the last time we clean the studio? We should really clean it.

How did you lose so much weight in two weeks? It's crazy. He's unhealthy. No, it's not unhealthy. Rogan sent him to his shaman. Oh, he did Rogan. He went, there it is. He said, no.

Give me your soul for a wish. Lewis goes, make me skinny. I made a deal with the IDF. I'm back. You're going to be working the cellar a ton. You guys, no way. A fucking goddamn ready. How was Rogan?

It was great. I was not a silly belly. He didn't do silly. I was sober. Yeah. He offered me weed. It's hard to not smoke weed with Joe Rogan on 420. Yeah, it was hard for me.

Yeah. That's when you were a cold. Horted? And you didn't get high? Nope. Damn, you gave up on the culture. Why did you not get high? It's just like people who drink on St. Patty's Day. I agree. I don't need. It's amateur. You go, brother, it's a Monday.

Yeah, dude, I don't give a fuck. I don't need New Year's. Truly, I didn't even realize it on 420. I was smoking a joint. I went, but doesn't Rogan have like Rogan weed, like some special setiva, some shit? Made by the Pentagon? Yeah. He goes, I got this eighth from Pete Hegseth when we were out of life. This came out of a craft.

Cash Patel found this on a dead cartel member. Cash Patel's picking up drugs off dead carton. He goes, I'm going to keep that one for me. They actually found this in Osama bin Laden's asshole. Yeah, you want to smoke a bowl? Yeah, so no, it was not a silly, Billy, but a good appearance. I felt like I was in the moment. I made him laugh a bunch.

You talked about some of the shit that I want to talk about. The regs? No point for the regs? You didn't plug the fucking regs? You can't just force things into rogue. Yeah, you can. You have to. Pause.

You got to fucking, at some point, say what you fucking want to say? No, I had this first time I did Rogan, everyone was like, you didn't mention Tuesdays with stories. You fucking fucking idiot. And I'm like, it's hard to just go. The pyramids reminds me of a story, a Tuesdays was story, my podcast. Fucking, you just did it. It sounds great. Whoa.

And he would have went off on Tuesdays as a story for a half hour. Yeah. That's the one thing about Joe. He'll just go where you go. Yeah. Or he'll go, womp, womp. Yeah. Yeah, but you could have been like, dude, I feel like a regular on this podcast.

He did give me a badoom t at one point. On what? It was a solid joke, too. I think I said he was talking about how Captain Kirk kissed a hoota on Star Trek. A what? A who? And then I made it, I was like, I kissed a couple of hodas as well. Good?

That was good. I was great. I was good. I tried to give him a little reg's rib. He was just like, oh, no. I would have said he kissed, Captain Kirk kissed him on Star Trek. I thought he meant he kissed him on Schindler's list. What?

Where is it? I don't even understand what that meant. I don't know. Because Captain Kirk, obviously, it's Star Trek, you fucking Nimrod. Ahuda. Ah, uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah, take that.

Damn, dude. He's touching her hair. Big mistake. He just wanted to do it to touch her hair. Look how big her head is. She was caught. What are you doing? That's crazy.

She feels like a horse. Dude, Kurt. It feels like our hair as well. I can't believe this black hair is. So smooth. You're almost like a human. Your nipples. So dark.

I had a black girl do that. We were making out heavy and I grabbed her hair. You know, that, that move. And she's like, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah. Don't do that. College, I had a... In college, a black woman was giving me a blowjob,

and I went and put my head on her head, and she fucking slapped that shit away. It went, you want me to suck your dick or not? And I went, yeah, I didn't even know what it was. I was like, yeah, my dad. And then I went, are you trying to make me come now? You seen that guy that goes? around New York with a leaf blower and he blows

black girls wigs off their head and puffs up that's crazy. So he just broke fuming flying around. That's like those But we have a new skank fest booking. Hey you guys, I got leaf blower guy. He's going to go on before Shane in the main room. Anytime there's a black person, he's going to blow them. Get it?

It's hilarious. Black girls all laugh though. They do, they do think it's fucking funny. Until they don't. Dude, they're just sitting at a bust up on their phone. It just flies off the head and goes down the street. That's an elite move. to think of that and pull it off.

Yeah. Just leaving your garage being like practicing. The best blow job I ever received in my entire life was from a black chick. Yeah. It was like... What was his name? Chick. I said, chick.

I don't care. I still want to throw it. I mean, we're taking cuts in the bad. I'm just going with the group today. It was just a good cut, dude. I was just like, pooh. That was good, Joe. He's next up.

He's just swinging. He popped it up into the cage. I wouldn't have been good at a game. game, but I just liked that little, what is it, a donut on the end of the bat. Swing that weighted bat, Joseph. Black girls give head the way you want to get it. She was ugly.

I mean, gross. Yeah, you said black already. Oh, gosh. Bad guy Joe. Bad guy Joe. A new character. Heel, Joe. Joe turning heel.

Son of a bitch. Son of a bitch. He turned on Mark Norman. She was gross. She had like short, like, burnt hair. Look, her head was like, she literally looked like she was a, fucking like in a burn, a fire. It's just her head was like frizzled

and her face was real dark. Where did this happen? This happened outside. It was in high school. Yeah, he sounds like one of the English explorers coming back explaining it. Oh, you don't understand. Their hair was burnt like it had been in the fire. They looked to be covered of charcoal. She had a bone in her nose.

These people were not as I. Her mouth. She had three shrunken heads on her waist. Take me to your village leader. I demanded know at resource. They smell a little different. They're musky. Very aggressive I think it's a cannibal culture. They eat each other.

We both try to hang out. We both failed. We both failed. They keep stuffing a ball in the basket. They're so incredibly tall. They can take flight when given this small piece of rubber to put in that hoop. Huge dicks. Whoa.

Hey. I think black girls give head the way you're supposed to give head. And white girls try to make it some romantic sexy, you know, they lick around too much. Black girls are like, fuck, a boom. Oh, nothing. It's more frustrating than a girl that thinks she's doing something with the licks.

And he goes, jeez, I can't get lost here. I had a girl that did stylistically use teeth. What? Yeah. That was like part of her playing style. That's like when you see someone put a Coke bottle on their thing for a slide. He's go, what are you doing? Yeah, it was funky.

Was it good? Did she, like, the corn on the cob on the side? That's fine. Not on the tip. Don't touch the tip of my cock with your fucking incisors, you bitch. Get away from me, Freddie Mercury. It was like raking the body with the teeth. Oh, like softly.

That was her technique? Yeah. I don't know. I didn't like it. And I, you don't like that. Yeah. It's not great. Because your dick is so sensitive.

One little cut, you fucked. Oh. Oh, then I've convinced myself I have herpes for weeks. You do? Yeah. No, it was not great because the lips are so soft and wonderful. The idea of just bringing teeth in. It doesn't make any sense.

It's crazy. That was like her trying to be Jimmy Hendrix with a blowjob and do feedback. You don't do that. It's a old take on an old classic. So tell us more about the ugly chick. She was Uggo. Where's your meet?

She was in drama society. She was dating my friend Dan Doherty. She was his girlfriend. Dan Dorety. She was discussing. Dan Doherty. He was the man. But Dan was like a fucking lunatic.

Looney Tune, like long hair, cuts all over his arms, fucking self-imposed cuts? Self-imposed cuts. Didn't know if he ran through the woods a lot. So weird that Lewis is such a tough, strong, you know what I mean? Like out of all of us, he's the guy. Thanks. But he's really just a theater. I am a theater.

That's all. He's the gayest. He's the drama society. I've recently came to the epiphany that Lewis was correct in how he went about his ways. He was tough and went drama. So he got pussy versus me who was, a people pleaser and played football, so I got no pussy and brain dare.

Yeah, dude, if I, amongst the toughs. So it's got the shit knocked out of me for zero pussy. Yeah, dude, if I tried to go, like, the football, wrestling, cool guy, route. I've seen your run. I would have had no pussy. Like, I would have been the biggest loser

amongst all of the jocks. When I'm in the drama society, I'm like a fucking alpha male fucking... Like me here. Yes. I would have gone back and done drama in a second. I would have...

Oh my God. I could have done that to kids instead of having it done to me. I don't think you'd have the same path as Lewis. I don't know. I think I would have gotten more pussy. You would have been an actor. You would have been a little drama.

You would have been just a plain old drama. And a famous actor by now. You're right. You would be with us. I would be doing a lot of interviews like this. Yeah. You would have probably gotten SNL. Ah, but I wouldn't be funny.

I wouldn't be as funny. That's how you get it. The torture of getting the shit get out of it. What is being, No, being not funny. That was great. It is mind-boggling that you didn't get S&L. I'm not surprised by it.

And Jim Carrey. He already had like... I didn't... What was his name? Luke Perry face? I was too old. Like an old guy who's trying to pretend to be young. He goes, we're not casting saved by the pal.

I don't need a 30-year-old playing a high school. That was like the thing, right? Luke Perry was like fucking 30 playing a high school. They did it on the Simpsons. I remember he smiled and it's fucking all the record. Dude, I'm re-watching The Simpsons. I just saw that one. You have that smile now.

Who else did that? What was his name? Swayze did it. Swazer was like 40 when he was on that stupid movie, that dancing movie. That was most TV shows. Dirty dancing. It was like 40. Yeah, dude.

Oh, all right. What are he? He is dead, isn't he? Dan, you kind of hit on that thing. Like, you're like Luke Perry's retarded younger, ugly brother. This is what all my friends would call me in high school. They would call me retarded Ruth Luke Perry. They literally.

Rook Perry. He's Rook Perry. I could have go to Japan and do those things like this. I could have gone to Vegas and been to Luke Perry impersonate. He could have. He is wearing a little leather vest and a white shirt. Do you have a smoldering look like that? Dan looks like he's being blinded by the sun.

It always looks aggressive and out of place. His son's a professional wrestler. Jack Perry. He's kidding. He's good, same. What's happened? Why is wrestling all getting small? There's no big guys anymore.

Moves, man, flips. You know what I read yesterday? Night 2 was the shit. Daniel, as it relates. Daniel. I found our, the Sterling's script yesterday. I literally was going on. I was shit for it.

Yeah, yeah, I found it. Yeah. It was pretty good. It wasn't bad. It wasn't bad? I haven't read it since we wrote it. I'll give it to the boys. Maybe we'll do it, let's do a table read here.

Yeah. Not now. That sounds good. Let me punch it up. Let me go, let me do a pass. No, don't do a pass. We got to read all the flaws. Yeah.

funny part. Can you take Luke off? I can't stop staring at it above Dan's head of what could have been. Dad. It looks like Dan's remembering Luke Perry. Guys, big-headed brunettes remember each other. He's dead, right? Luke Perry? Yeah, he's dead. It's crazy. Crazy. Like, these

people are all rich and good looking and in shape. It's like, why? How's Bobby alive still? Great question. I'm the healthiest I've ever been. Well, I think of that my aunt, she's 809 years old. She's never eaten a healthy meal in her life. She's never exercise in life. How did she do? Because ants can lift a hundred times their body weight. Wow. It was actually... It was good, but we went at the same time. It wasn't good timing, but it was a

It was perfect timing, but Bobby was also going. I thought mine was going to work. I liked yours. Yeah, because it's the actual what you were saying. Yeah, because it's aunt, not ant. That's the joke. It's a fucking aunt. You're from Boston. What are you talking about? It's aunt. No, it's not. It's aunt. You're betraying your whole area. I know. I say aunt. I say it right now. Ant is already a word. A-N-T. aunt, aunt. No, it's aunt. You're fucking prince. Shut up.

Aunt. We'll talk after. Damn. You guys have to have a one-on-one? Dosting video. Ant with the word. A-N-T. Ant.

We're this in the hallway. They're high whispering in the hallway. You said ant. I know, but I just, I'm trying to better myself. In the common well. I say idea. It's referred to. That Bruins game is brutal.

Joe, do you call it Anthony Cumia? No. Anthony Cumia. Duh. You were sitting on that like you were good. I know I laughed, damn it. No, no, he left. No, that was good.

A bomb is a fucking, no one laughed. I did it because he said to give it to you. I wasn't even a bomb. That was a good one. It was a solid bit. Auntie Acumia? It's fucking hilarious. That's what got him fired.

He's got to be calling me after my ugly black people joke. That was wild. I was doing a character. A character, dude. Anyways, yeah. Your aunt. Yeah, my aunt. She's fucking 89 years old.

It's. She acts exactly how she was when I remember when I was like a little kid. She hasn't changed since I met her. She's a 300 hitter. She's just consistent. She's always on the corner of the couch at every party. I don't know how she gets there. I've never seen her leave.

I've never seen her get there or leave. She's your sleep demon. You walk in. She's your sleeperousest demon. Just look up and you go, Lewis's aunt? Does she eat crumbs off the floor? No.

Does that's what ants do? Danny's laughing. She does run picnics. That's good. I set them up and you knock a couple of them. I'm not going to lie. I can watch a whole line of these walk right over a blanket. I'm a big fan of everything that's going on in the what in the fucking, you know what, dude, kitchen.

This is the regs. Whatever. A subsidiary is, you know what, dude. This is a spin-off show. This is a more popular spin-off. Whatever. Has that ever happened? Girl code.

Girl code. Girl code buried us. Girl code Girl code came out and it was like the Beatles You guys all had to get famous on your own I mean at least I wasn't dating one of them That left me like Chris and Janice Both history hyenas got left by girls

They were dating his grow code Well it was girl that was girl code Yeah they use a man until you can't use him anymore They're leaving Girl code Girl code Sorry we're following the rules Do you guys see

Theo Vaughn this weekend? What happened? Yeah yeah I don't know he's going through some shit I'm off social media. Sorry. That's why I don't know. Why are you off social media?

You know why. You deleted all your social media. He's a sex past. You have a company. Off my phone. You have no social media. Open your phone. No.

Open your phone. You don't believe it. I can't. You don't ever give you a phone to any one of us. We're not already. It's a weird thing to not believe. I wouldn't do it. Why are you off social media?

Because I don't want to look at it. I agree. It's all day. Everyone's looking at you look at it. I've read. all the stuff. I agree. Oh my God.

AI's going to kill us. Oh my God. The president's gay. My father's fucking retarded. All day, every day. It is. Got rid of it. I feel like a million bucks.

Let me ask you a question. What are you going to do to promote your shows? Are you worried about it? He has a guy. Who's your guy? I have it. You just don't do it. You don't have it on my laptop too.

So you just, he says you send me this and you send it. Yeah. And you don't look at it. There's apps you can download that'll be, and you can set it by Twitter. I get 30 minutes a day. I do that. Instagram. I get an app limits.

The problem is, that's just on your iPhone. You can do that. Underneath, though. Instagram for an hour and I set Reddit for 90 minutes. But right underneath. He said it's ignored. 90 minutes a day.

What is it wrong with you? Because it's better than Twitter as far as getting information now. Joe, what do you say? That doesn't work, though. Because in the bottom, it says, do you want to ignore the limit for the day? And you can go, yeah. No, mine doesn't.

No, there's an app that, like, literally you have to, in order to do it, you have to, like, you have to, like, delete the app and you can't get it again for a while. Like, it's a whole thing. Mine won't let me look at it if I've gone over. Really? Yeah, it just goes like, no, I'd have to go back in and set. It's like app limits.

You go under app limits. So see you right there, and then it won't. That's what I did. And then there's a little thing that says, do you want to ignore for today? When I hit my, when I hit my limit, it just the icon, you can't access it. You have to go all the way back. But you're an addict. We all are.

You're an addict. All four of us are. Yeah, but we're recovering addicts. Not me. What do you think I? I can put it down. I'm still smoking weed. Yeah.

But anyways, I don't drink. It's fucking great. I'm currently tweeting with my foot. It really is the thing where you just pick up and all of a sudden you're looking at it and you're like, I didn't want to look at it this long. Well, X really has become like a cesspool. I don't even go on. I haven't gone on that.

X is crazy. X is like literally, you're like, you know what, dude? I'm going to go fucking just hang out with some Nazis and some fucking. It's like the apocalypse. Like everyone's just fucking killing each other, hitting each other with maces in the head. Obviously, like, I have someone that posts on there, but I haven't been on there for a while.

And, like, mid-football season, I was like, I haven't been on X in a while. And I opened the door and it's just everything was on fire. And people are running around. Like, never mind. I shot it immediately. It was like, like, my mentions, the first thing was like, fuck you N-word. And you're like, there's not even a black person. Sometimes it'll be like.

It's crazy. How bad it's got. But once in a while, you'll see, like, just like a normal chick. And she's got a real picture. And she's an ex. There's a fan of mine who, like, she's like a normal chick. And I'm like, she's like post her kids. And I'm like, this isn't for this anymore.

Lady, get out of here. You're like, what are you doing here? Jesus, this is my son? Get the fuck out of it. Get you, kid. Get the fuck out of you. Dude, the thing I was reading about yesterday that was making me laugh so hard is India, the huge scam right now is making AI girls who are pro maga.

Oh, yeah, yeah. And then they just hustle all these guys out of their money. And they got caught. They asked the guy, they're like, why are you doing? He's like, well, they believe everything. He's like, you don't. you just literally will believe whatever you say. It shows like a hot girl with like a gun.

And she's like, I love what President Trump's doing. All these guys are like, can I send you money? Indian guy being like, that's what I told me. It's so funny to me. Reading the stories of the guys that got taken for like $10,000. So you think X is the worst? Yeah. And then there's Instagram.

Which is, makes you feel the worst. Instagram makes you feel bad? In the way that when a family member makes you feel bad, that's how Instagram, where you guys? go, this just makes me feel gross in a weird way. Facebook's like visiting your grandma on the nursing home. It's crazy. It's like using a landline.

It's kind of back in a weird way. You pick it up and you go, hello? I guess I'll call someone. Facebook's always gives you a photo from 10 years ago. And it's like, ah, shit. Also, hey, chill, my wife's sitting next to me. Maybe not an ex-picture with an ex-girlfriend pop up on my phone. I've never used TikTok ever.

I've posted it, but I've never, I've never, I've never used it. I've never had it on my phone. I've never looked at it. And then Reddit became the way to get info the way Twitter used to. Where you just like kind of have to check the sources, but you could find out shit. Like the NFL draft, I was just in the fucking NFL subreddit, just watching all the other things. I would have chat GPT cross-reference Reddit. I wouldn't even go on a Reddit to search for things. I would just ask chat Chb-D to pull it from me. But then I don't trust chat, GBT, because then sometimes they're like, yeah, eat rocks.

You're like, okay. Said this is who the 49ers drafted. So what happened to Theo? I don't know. He just had like a, he was started to cry. He's like asking God. I don't know. I first watched it like, oh shit.

But then I watched it. I was like, ah, I feel bad. Yeah, that's the dude is like, but he's out there giving it. You know what I mean? It's like one of those moments where you call one of you and go, hey, man, I'm, I'm fucked up right now. I don't know what to do. This is on his podcast.

And it's like, yeah, man, I got so much anxiety. I got too much money. Yeah. But I do. I'm too rich, too famous. Too many girls want to fuck that. Yeah, but that doesn't mean that that guy can't be going through a lot. Yeah.

I mean, his worst day is still his worst day, but his worst day is better than 99.9% of the people in the world's the best day. Scrooge McDucking in a pile of money. Probably make you feel a little better. But then, like, I mean, we all know people that have gotten insanely famous and their lives are fucking crazy. Like in a way where nothing seems like solid. Everything's moving and everyone wants something.

Well, if you want to get out of the machine, though, like if you're at a point where you're making everybody money and you're like, I want to do something else, you can't. Yeah. Because everybody's just like, no, keep. They want you to just keep, dude, keep paying my fucking mortgage. Going through your pockets. Yeah.

Think about how much money he makes. He's paying mortgages for managers, agents. Oh, easily. I mean. So it's like if you stop. Yeah, they're never going to tell him to stop. They're never to go, you need a mental health break. They're going to go.

Yeah, man, I'm kind of going through it. It's like, you know what you need? More road dates. Yeah. Get on the, dude. Get on the road. Hey, didn't you grow up with a guy named Randy Road Dates? Who did a lot of road dates?

And then he made a lot of money off his road dates. That's Asian. Have you thought about monetizing your tears? That's how agents and managers trick them. Wasn't there a guy named Donnie commissions? You know what? Donnie commissions. Well, there it is.

I thought Randy Road Rates was a gamble. You know what it was the alliteration? The alliteration is McGahnus. When he went to Donnie commissions, there was no upside to Donnie commissions. I actually was thinking Lewis bailed you out with Randy Road things. I didn't really. No, you laugh. The alliteration was funny.

It was the alliteration. You laugh, though. No, I kind of did. Play it back. Danny Commissions was no good. I know. Danny Commissions. Yeah, Danny.

Donnie Commission is the worst joke you've ever told. Oh, no way. I think on this show is the worst joke you've ever told. No. Not even the worst one in the past month. Donny commission. I've had some fucking stinkers recently. Yeah, but like, you can't, you can't stop.

You got to keep going. There's no stopping. Even for us, you get, you get anxiety. You get fucked up. If we stop, if, I don't know about, I don't know about Dan, but if you or I stop, we have one month to live. What are you talking about? You always do this thing where you're like,

oh, Joe and Dan are all right, but you are the, you're a homeowner, you own a car, you own businesses? And then he's like, but I'm just, man,

I don't work. Not a homeowner. He's a homo nerd. But you're like, like three, four months of reserves. You're doing that. If I live my life

the way that I live right now, I have maybe three or four months. That's because you're a jackass. That's not. Hey, I'm Lewis, and this is living beyond my means. Hey, this is Louis. This is taking the third vacation per month. Hey, this is buying a house when I really shouldn't.

Yeah, I don't have four. I would be fine. I would just have to... You'd have to go live in a tiny house. I'd have to live in that tiny house. And Max would have to become like a woods boy. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I would be fine, but I would definitely... No, if I downgraded my lifestyle, I got a year or two. A year or two? What are you doing with your money? I don't get it. How much money do you have where you think you can last more than a couple years on your savings, Joe? I couldn't. No, I wouldn't have two years.

I would not have two years on my savings. Yeah. I mean, if I went back to living the way when we met, like, Santa up New York, yes, I could probably live the rest of my life very family. Brother, if you want to send me back to under the train, I'll go. I spent 16. I would fucking make sure Jay quit smoking. He's got one of those masks on with the tubes.

If Jay dies, let's work out. Jay's on one of those treadmills with the underwater. See, no, no, I can't kick Jay off of story wars, but if he dies,

I get story wars and it's a sad. People will still support the bike, but he died. He's got to get a new clothes. Oh, that's what you're doing. Your second wife energy. Yeah,

no, no, story wars will fucking, that'll be best of way. You should take insurance out on Jay. Yeah. That's so fucked up. I would, I want to take a calcium bet.

Yeah. Christine goes, I went to cash in my life insurance and Lewis got it all. And then he threw scank hands at me as I was getting kicked out of the house. Can you take out multiple life insurance policies? Yeah. Can I take out a life insurance policy on Jeff? On Jay? I'm not watching the moment where Lewis is going irreverably damage.

Well, why would I take out life insurance policies on all my unhealthiest friends? Oh my God, dude. Is that legal? That can't be illegal. He's going to have a cork board. his garage. Jay could take a life insurance policy out and sign you as the

executor or something like that. Like you could get the money. No, I know, but hold on. If I pay for it all, could he just be like, all right, dude, sure. I'll find out. That's your fucking end game. He goes, oh, yeah, Jay, have another sugar.

Anybody got any fill of cheese steaks for Jay? He starts changing his Mungano with fucking, like, just sleep with your soup. We were on Lijibon. Shoot that gravy. Yeah. Jay.

Oh, man. Oh, it's where you're hungry? It's crazy shit. You were on Legion of Skanks one time, and Jay was like, you know, I, you know, I'm probably almost halfway through my life. And I don't know why I'm doing that impression, but he said, almost halfway through my life. And then you guys all stopped and were like, what are you insane? You're like 49.

You smoke a pack of cigarettes a day. You're like 75%. And I felt like Jay actually got a little bummed out. He was like, oh, fuck. I have the best case scenario, like my aunt's 89. Like in my mom, I was like, she can't outlive me. That's crazy because I'm halfway there. I'm 44 right now.

It's like, but realistically speaking, I probably only have 30 years left. Yeah, but here's what you got to do. Fat thin. That's no good. You got to reframe it, dude. We're dead dad club, especially early. You just got to beat your dad's age, which you blew past by. Blue past by 20 years. Yeah, I got, I've got six more years before I blow by it.

Well, my mom died when she was 42. So I don't have a memory of my mom older than me. That's great. So it's a weird thing just like, I just see my mom as being like a fucking old bitch. She was younger than me. Yeah. Weird. Yeah.

That is weird. But also we got AI. That's going to solve everything. You're going to go in a machine and just takes out the cancer and the heart. Well, not in our life. They can take our, no, in our, definitely in our lifetime. That's like in like six months a year. I did.

What fucking? You know how much money? You know how much money they would lose if they're going to. Oh, yeah. No. Hey, let's just cure the disease and not make money off treating it. They have to come up with another disease that we get before they cure. of that one.

Don't you understand they're going to treat it until they can give you another one. And then they'll give you that one. I don't know condescending. They're being. None of us really know anything about this. They're treating him like he's a fucking asshole. We say shit.

Do you think I have a doctor? No, but not only that, what they're going to be able to do in the future is like they're going to be able to... How do you know this? This is crazy. I know this. He was just on Rogan.

Oh, yeah. He's got secondhand Rogan confidence. Russell me. Russell me on the ground right now. Let me kick your leg. They, uh, No, they're going to be able to, obviously, for people like us, very easily, they can take all of our podcasts, throw it into an AI program,

and then give a little box to our kids and be like, your dad's here. And it's a little box that will react to the same way we would. I don't want that. I don't want that at all. I do. I do. I like the fact that I forgot the sound of my dad's voice. My son can just press a button. It's like, oh, the good. I miss you, pop-up.

The Red Sox just won the 2065 World Series. Hold the good. He goes, thin cookies? It just rotates. Great idea. You're not sad that your father didn't have a booming podcasting. weird that you can go back and reference anytime you want? No, man, after watching that Hogan documentary, I'm like,

I'm kind of glad my dad was offline because I probably would have seen some stuff that I've been like, oh, when you're older and you realize. You want to miss your, you want to remember you, dad. You don't want to have him around. I think about that a lot. If your dad would have been alive and you would have been successful, do you know how much you'd hate him right now?

Louis, I just need a couple more thousand dollars. His dad was black. I know, but it's funny. That was a fucking cholo. Hey, Louis, my son. Oh, is Dave there? Is Dave there, man? Totally.

Dave's on here, man. Hey, Carnal, where are you been? Pass me there's a veza. Hey, yeah, leindo. Hey, who are you dating now? Show me a picture, hones. This is your son, James. He's your grandpa.

Papa. It's your abuelo. Oh, lole. Hey, come here. Hey, oh, la, carnal. What are you doing? You look at you. Look.

Look. Give me a badge for Skangfest. Oh, Louis. How are you? How you been? Japanese father. Yeah. Is that not?

Yeah, I don't want my fucking dad around like Superman's dad. Yeah. Just your dad's around and you don't want him around. We went to get a whole episode on this. You can just call your real dad. He doesn't have to live in crystals. He's breathing air. He's breathing air.

This is a podcast. Can I say something, though? I thought, I was thinking after we did that podcast in my little, I was like, maybe I might get an email. Like someone would be like, hey, man, I heard the, zilch. Nothing. Can I tell you where I felt that? I've been, I've been, publicly said my dad's name. I've been very loud.

He has my last name. I've talked about him dying. Never once have I had one of his friends go, hey, I was friends with your dad. That's crazy. Hey, just he knows he was friends with your dad. He hated the whole thing. Yeah. Hated you guys.

He couldn't wait to die. Couldn't have ran faster. Yeah, but you don't want, you're right. You don't want your dad, like, I don't want AI dad in place. No, I don't want to be around. Miss them, remember. You're going to use your brain to remember the moments. But what if you don't have a brain?

No, I have no memories. I have one memory of my father. What is it? Him throwing me on the bed and, like, wrestling with me. Oh, shit, I'm glad that ended like that. Yeah. He's throwing me in the bed and eating my asshole. Yeah.

Pitting me down. If that was the next one, you go, you're not some distance. Chocolate. Yeah, delicious. You don't need hot sauce for your ass. It's like a burrito. Oh, my God.

Look at this. This chocolate. This dough. Your culo is so nice. Hey, let me stay at your house in New Jersey. Put your chimichung in my mouth. Is that your new girlfriend? I like her.

She's like, Lewis, I'm not all right with your oldest day. Fucking whistling at me in the kitchen when I'm in my bed. Dude, I didn't lose his pants. Hey, Louis, where are you going? Yeah, but I really, like, I think about if my dad would be alive right now, and 100% he'd just be hit me up being like, what do you say we get some diner tickets? Oh, my mom would be, I mean, my...

Oh, yeah, your mom would be a problem. One of the last memories of my mother is her stealing money out of my wallet when I was 19 years old. I would have... If she was still alive, all of us would. have had to have done her podcast by now. She goes, hey, it's Denise M. Painter with the Paintercast. Hey, it's nodding off with Denise. Get your story in before I'm fucking, my chin hits my chest.

Yeah, dude, dead parent, like my dad being around asking to be my manager, the second I got on billions, he'd be like, my dad. How much does a manager make? My dad's got money, though. Really? Yeah, he has cash. He's an engineer. What?

Yeah, he's got money. How did it miss all of you? I don't really know what an engineer is. Biologically. He's the one who gave me... An engineer could be anything from a guy who drives a train to somebody who works on the moon. I have no idea.

Well, I drive this train and I design that bridge over there. You like make shit. Like mechanical, metal shit works in... But he's the one who gave me money. My mom and stepdad didn't give me a dime to move to New York. My dad wrote me a thousand dollar check. We did an entire episode on this exact topic. And a dime wouldn't be enough money anyways.

Yeah. That's good. Danny made a noise. Danny did. You got Danny's moving. Because they didn't give you a dime. It would be rude if they were just like, here's a dime, you see. I'm going to take a sip of water. You think your dad's still alive?

Sure is. He doesn't talk to him. He's coming to the United Kingdom. Oh, he's going to UK with you? They've never left the country. He's never left the country. Neither one of my parents. Really?

They're coming, baby. To the UK on that tour? Yeah. Whole tour? Why are you bringing your parents on the whole tour? I'm not bringing them. They decided they were going to come. And they didn't ask you?

They were just like... Well, I was like, yeah, I don't know. My dad, I was like, it would be cool if you came to Ireland. You asked them. Yeah. I didn't ask him. I said that would be cool. If you come.

You recommended it. I didn't say, please come. But, yeah. He didn't beg them, but you said, hey, come. If he said yes in that moment, that was you asking. He didn't say yes in that moment. He went, oh, sounds cool. It doesn't matter what the conversation was.

Are you paying for everything? No. No. You're going to pay for everything while you're there, though. You're going to pay for dinner. You're a fucking piece of you. You're making your parents pay for the wrong. I really thought you're about it.

That's how he was money to fucking survive if he dies. Yeah. It's why Joe's got millions of dollars in the bank because he doesn't spend frivolously. Has Joe ever paid for anything? Never. A. You wear shirts with paint on it? That's because he has a baby. This is crazy.

First of all, I spent $30,000 on a documentary about Lewis. About you. Yeah. Yeah, about you. You are reaping the financial benefits. Who? I hope we make the money back. You, you got what I need.

But you say he's just a friend. Oh, baby, you. You're reaping all of the benefits. You're the guy. I don't even know where to start. First of all, my parents are going on a vacation. Yeah, but you were about to present that, like, I did this for all of you. You did it for him.

But it's really for you. You don't really do it for me. I'm a pawn in his game. I don't like this I'm a pawning No no The chess game of Joe List No

Puppet Master Joe Lisk Given you Behind the scenes Who do you think Kill Ralphie Mae Who do I think overdosed Greg Jorold though It was all Joe

The entire time My My parents Can he kill Lisa Lepanelli's career My parents First of all I've given A lot of money

My parents They have a hard time Except people People don't want To accept money From their children They don't like I can't wait

I can't wait till James. James is the fucking brain surgeon or something. I'm going to be like, yeah. I'm going to just quit. Can I tell you it's the only regret I have about not having kids? He's waiting for the day that I slide that ATM card in and go, give me your money now. Like he's 13. And I'm literally going on. I was like, oh yeah, like in like 10, 15 years, he'll be starting a career. It's like, yeah, I'll just

stop working. He'll take care of me. He has. I took care of him this whole time. It's only fair. Oh, you are going by my mom's playbook. Oh, yeah. Yeah, my mom asked me for money once during that. She asked me for me, too. Yeah, but it was... Oh, yeah, but you owed it to her. You fucking whore

You fucking boy whore I borrowed money Bobby's mom Did you really? No Oh fuck What? I don't know

I really thought That could be a thing No In the 08 When everybody got flipped On real estate Oh yeah They

They had They took out a bunch of money On the house On the equity And then it got Flipped And everything got fucked Fipped

Flipped FWIPD That's a decision Flipped You can say flipped You know the word Yeah I'm putting a little zing on.

A little ju-z-joo-s-s-h-whip. Yeah, flip it. Yeah, yeah, but I had just bought my apartment. I was like, I would have to sell. Yeah. I was like, that, the worst, I was like, I would have to sell this place I just bought and give them money. You got some flop sweat-gill.

I hope you swoop and fall. I gave him, I gave him some cash, though. I gave him a chunk. My grandma just rode that dead out until she died. You are a chunk. She died underwater. You're getting a little titty, too.

What are you talking about you? I'm jacked. Seriously? It's unbelievable that he thinks he's jacked. Yeah. Look at that. You're not,

don't. It actually hurts because I did yoga yesterday. Look at that. Through the sleeve. Pow! Motherfugger. All right,

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Oh, Bobby, you love. No, I love these ultra patches. I like them. I love them. They're great. I have me in my truck all the time. They're great, dude. They got fucking Alpha GPC and B12 in a little pouch.

Instead of using nicotine or caffeine or any of these other things, which really aren't great for you. They got neutropics. Dude, neutropics. Newtropics. I'm right on my lip. I look cool like all the cool kids that are putting pouches in their mouth, but I'm actually getting the benefits of powerful neutropics, which helps with memory, brain function. You guys know I'm all about this stuff. What's your favorite flavor?

My favorite flavor is the mint one. Or they have a tropical one is delicious as well. It's all kind of minty. Watermelon. Also, also the new blue rams. Yes, Bres. Tropical watermelon is good. I didn't do the watermelon yet.

The tropical is really good, though. And they gives you a little... Ultra. I don't think I can say that. Nope. You can't. You can't say that. But we'll replace it with this.

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Support the show and tell them that the regs sent you. My pool's open. Oh, shit. Salt water? Ducks in there? Fucking ducks. Apparently, it will ruin your pool filter.

Yeah, we looked it up. Yeah. Did you? Yeah. On the episode. Did you? Oh, how high was that? It was great.

Why is your pool open? It's got to be like 48 degrees. Well, the heater's having a hard time because it was 31 degrees. It was 3.1 degrees in three nights ago. He went up to 80 So it won't freeze It went up to 80 And then the fucking freezing rain happened

It brought it back down to 70 Now it's back up to like 77 I gotta get up to 87 Remember when you go When you go school shopping Whatever before the school year And then you'd go back to school And you'd want to wear all the stuff

But your mom bought you stuff for like The fall and winter So you're showing up And it's still summer And you're like in your winter That's how it feels with the pool That was so many words That was really shit

But it was like the declaration of independence That fucking joke All men Again, shorten it up We the people people of the United States. Remember when you had school shopping and then you wore your heavy stuff early?

I couldn't even follow. And then on Monday you'd wear blue pants. Then on Wednesday you'd wear green pants. And then Thursday was kind of like whatever. Stand by the experience. Chat GPT that. Summarize it. No.

It can't give you the length that a human can. I thought most people opened their pool Memorial Day weekend, right? Yeah, but why have a heated pool once you're going to open up early? To have it heated during the summer? What the fuck of my cookies? I... Yes, he always wants them. I could use another coffee.

Yeah. Coffee, coffee. Please, pretty please. On me. That's not on him. You know this not on him. You're not getting money for the cookies. He wouldn't even bring his dad to fucking Ireland.

You guys throw this out there and this will get picked up. I'm like I fucking spend money like a fucking lunatic. On what? On what? On travel? Never take me on to dinner? Not once, not once what you ever paid for dinner. taking me the dinner. When have we gone to dinner?

I've taken you to dinner over the year. I've paid for Bobby's dinner. I've invited you and Mac now. He's taking me to stake dinner. We are co-worker associates. I've paid for his dinner. I've taken him out. I've taken all of you guys out for dinner.

That's because you fucking let us do your pod for years when you were doing ads. You gave us nothing. There was no evidence. There was. There was tongues. It's crazy. People send us clips of the ads, although sending us clips. There's no.

We had no money. Where's one of the ads that I had. And then we would plug our dates and you'd be like this. Yeah, you're featuring, though, right? You're a feature. You were. But don't go see him. He fucking stinks.

That's only you. All the time. That was only you. All the time for years. Where did someone sit me? You were an old headlining. The Kelly files as the fans are calling. It's so funny how old he is now.

He's got to be like, now he's got to be like nice to Paco and Joe and he's fucking he was so meet. We were so talented and young and ready and hungry. He did brutally mean to us. You're nice to Paco. It makes me furious. Shout out to him. He's like, dude, Paco.

so funny. Shut the fuck up. Shout out to... Hot goes funny? Shout out to Andres' music for starting the Kelly files. Sure. It's a tall.

Thank you. Here are old, you know what, dude ads that we read as a group that Bobby made money for. Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve. That's right. I remember the company.

Yowser Fitness. Yowser fitness. Yeah, stop. Stop. Let's go through it. Okay. No, let's deal with it. This is like last night on 60.

minutes with Donald Trump I'm not a pedophile. Lewis is going to know this because he tried to pull this one of these today in the fucking the chat. Yows of Fitness. Hold on, hold on. I'll defend that to the day I die

that I'm doing smart business. Okay. I'm doing it exactly good. Here's the deal. Yows of Fitness. Sent me a fucking treadmill. Oh, yeah. I hit them up.

I said, hey, I want to get a treadmill. Bobby, like what is? this, they sent me a robot. Why is the floor moving? They sent me a treadmill. I got a whole robot. Dude, I don't know where this floor goes. It seems to stay in the same place.

It's part of a conveyor belt. I think I have to be part of the system. Hey, should I put chocolates on it? Like, I love Lucy. Bobby's feeding himself chocolate. Steve's not breathing. We get it. Don, come downstairs.

I love Lucy. They sent me a convey of them out. I got to get chocolate real fast. Start putting those link truffles on. It's done to my seat. I'm done. It's getting comical. They're smashing into the walls.

Comical. It's got to. There you go. All right. But what are the other ones then? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. We stop.

Yeah. They sent me... They said... I need to breathe. They sent me... They were like, look, they'll give you... They gave me a discount on a treadmill

to mention yowser fitness on my... Okay. No money, nothing. And you know that. You're trying to get a sauna. We should all do that. Right? Adam and Eve.

He wants a sauna for nothing. I do. So we should explain in the group chat. Lewis was giving a coffee order, and then he went into a booker-reporter voice. Oh, my God. When he was talking to... somebody and it wasn't us where he goes

you want to know that I want I got this and I got a little bit of this going on it on that I just get broken. No I posted the other day on social media that I want a sauna and a few sauna companies reached out to me with like discount codes and shit like that right yeah and then I started talking to one of them about doing like a deal partnership right and then

I in the middle of this is what this has happened to everybody you're texting one person you go back you're going back and forth and I was with my ad sales guy Tom and I was like oh reach out to this guy he hit me up and then it switched over to you guys and it's just being like, yeah. It was great.

I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? I just got off the train. I read, what the fuck are you talking? And then I went back and read it. It's just fucking Bonneman Bailey Gomez. Fucking go. Step right up. Yeah, you see?

Well, you ever seen a beard of woman? I bet you can I skate. It also read like, hey, I'm going to be five minutes late. And also, I need a 20,000 gallon fucking steam room. Hey, I'm coming late. So that was one. All right. So we did Adam and Eve.

Adam and Eve sent me free stuff. Free dildos. No, they did. They sent me free shit. There was no money involved in that. There was free shit that they sent that I gave out to us and the fans. Gamefly. What is Gamefly?

You rent video games online. Like Netflix used to be where they come in the mail. Yes. I remember Gamefly. Come in a mail that's, but Bobby did in college. What? What? I like it.

Like a male. Like not a female, but a male. I literally thought. You meant in a mailbox and I was still going to give it to you. I was like, oh, he was wild. I was laughing to look down. Come on to me, it was really good. Can I be honest, I was laughing to look down.

That's it. I didn't even hear the job. It actually was a really good one. Deepdiscount.com. They were selling DVDs and like VHS cassettes and like 2015. Can I be honest with you? Can I be honest with you? To put on the podcast to pay, I had to pay Dipu and I had to pay.

Dipu Discount.com is a different website. Deepu, I had to pay, and I had to pay, what was the other one? Yeah, I paid, I gave them whatever money I made I gave to them. And then put into, if you noticed every once in a while, the studio would be different. I kept adding shit, getting new microphones, new stuff. I'll give you that. I grew from shit. This was at a time when, and this was a big show at the time, but it had like 20,000 downloads an episode.

Yeah. That was, it was a bigger New York podcast. But when you understand the way the advertising works, there's very little money with something like that. Yeah. I get it. Yeah. There was money that came in. But there was not a lot.

I wasn't making money off the podcast at all. Some of these are crazy. Just give another one. Tweaked audio. I remember tweaked audio of the headphones. Yeah. I remember all of these. Just sent me free.

Just sent me a, like, the reason why I wanted these ads in there to make it look like it was, like other podcasts had ads. Sure. And I just wanted to make it look like we had ads. So companies would be like, oh, shit, they had ads. Your energy right now is really giving me when I got caught smoking and I blamed it on my friends. No, but I'm serious. Where I went, I'm holding the lighter because he wasn't allowed to hold the lighter. Because if he held the lighter, Bobby's going, and you got what you, yeah, so what you have to

understand about that time is, it was a different thing. But if you look at the podcast, look at the podcast, I made an illusion that we had a studio. We didn't have a studio. It was no apartment. Once you took the blankets down that I got from, we're literally in the same studio. We're sitting exactly where we were. It's one of the nicest studios of ever been. This is now, but back then, it was just.

nice studio. But back then, it was just that corner of the room. It was Nome's apartment. There was both and shit everywhere. It was also little logitech cameras. Like the shittiest little cameras. The shittiest thing. You paid Dup. Well, because he created this thing where we could do without the switcher.

He did it with Xbox remote controller. So he figured out how to do a multi-camera shoot. Which is crazy. When you think about that producer draft, you took Dipu, and you took Shannon. Yeah. Ultimately. I wish I took Shannon, but Deep who wanted way more money.

Yeah, we were both. We were all in, young hot Shannon. Really? 29-year-old Shannon came in. She was like, I don't really know what headphones are, but I'd love to learn. And we were like, you're a fucking idiot, but nice to do. Is she black then? Yes, black then.

Oh, my God. Way black then. So that was, that was no money. Hulu plus. Hulu plus. Hulu plus. You were. No money from them.

Nothing. Amazon Link. draft kings, but back when it was only fantasy football. I don't know if you remember that before they went legal gambling. Truecar.com. Sherry's berries. I remember. Sherry's berries just gave me fucking free.

Berries. Just a lot of berries. Tons of berries, dude. They buried me in cash. I swear to God. Sherry's berries. They buried me up to hear of cash. Couldn't breathe.

Never gave me money. Nice laundry. Nice laundry. And then the one I remember, Dollar Shave Club. Wow. Dollar ShaveGub just sent free shit and everybody got it.

Wow. Everybody got it. They're killing it. Never fucking made any... You can talk to Don, if you don't trust me. Never made money off of YKWD, early YKD. Don's looking at a giant ratings.

I don't know where it was. No, I swear to God. Never made money off of YKWD. Still really don't. I mean, I make some off advertising, but it goes back to Danny, Danny for producing the podcast.

Yeah. Yeah. Just write Danny a check every month. Yeah. There we go. Wow. You know that after you fucking, it's whatever it is, it was 50 or 30% to whoever gave. Most of the stuff back then was just free shit.

They looked like I had ads so that I could get ad companies. Because there was no ad, there was no ad companies. There was no, there was nobody you could call. You had to, I had to, like, email these companies and be like, hey, can you advertise on this thing? It was all fake ads. You really were the guy that went to the gold rush and didn't hit a vein. Yeah. Like, Rogan came up later and was like, I just hit the biggest vein they've ever seen in their life.

No, I was there. This is more gold under this hill. I was there for years. And I sold it to Rogan. It's just, he's just in the river. I was full fucking dirt, dude. I was one chisel away from hitting a vein. You were.

You really were. God damn. Put De Rosa, me. I mean, your first podcast was you with sometimes Colin Quinn. It was me, Colin Quinn, me, me, DeRosa, then me, you, then me, you and him, and then you. No, Lewis was before me. Oh, Lewis, and then you came with him. You were two fucking drunks.

And then I think all of us, though, that first YKWD core, when Nate would come in, Janice. John is like Chris and Stephano, Norman, Kurt Metzker. That was the best. Big day. Yeah. Yeah, that was like. Because that was lovely.

They remember the intro was so great. It featured Opie, Amy Schumer. Anybody but us. Fucking, anybody but us. It took us till we all left to get into the intro. It was crazy. It was. How many times did Amy Schumer do the podcast?

Like, that's like once. Two. Nikki Glazer did it. I'm in humor. She's skinny now. Do you guys remember the guy from Facebook that came on that left because he panicked? Yeah. Danny.

That's the guy that runs SpongeUp. Do you remember he just started sweating because we were trashing Facebook so bad? Yeah. And then he just turned red and started sweating. It was, I have to go. And he just left it. I do remember that. Yeah, that's Danny from Punchup.

I also remember on air asking if I could get spot. That's how I got it at the stand was they were opening the stand. went, can I have spots? And he went, yeah. I got into the cellar because Dustin Chafin episode. Partly. When they were going to fight, when he was going to fight Nome? Dustin and Nome debated him not getting there.

And Dustin was like, you don't even use some of the best comics. You don't use Joe List. And Nome was like, I'd love to give you an audition. I was like, that would be great. I got it to the seller because Tracy Morgan's truck collided with a Walmart vehicle. And Artie Fouqua was a vegetable for a month. And they needed a host. I was hosting, too.

So many great things happened because of that. Doggy, it was. It was literally the biggest moment of my career was when he hit that fucking... I had a joke about it, my act. That was the night I did Letterman the first time. Really? Yeah.

That was crazy. Oh, no, it was a couple nights later because we met Artie and then it was like two nights later. Yeah. Must be June 8th, 2013. I go... Big Jay's...

I pray for comedians to get canceled and to get into accidents because every time they get out of the way I move up another non-sing industry. Yes. I remember we were... Artie was still in the hospital and Big Jay and I were down

there's at the seller, watching, making fun of a comic from the hallway, and he was doing the joke where he picks up the purse, you know, and that's like, Arty's joke. Yeah.

Whatever, and Big Jay's watching it. Big Jay, fake punches the wall, and he goes, Miss you, Artie. It's better him doing that. It made me laugh so hard. Got picked up the,

Jay, he was, yeah, that was crazy. It was like, everyone had to host. Yeah. You didn't realize how much Ardy was hosting.

No, I wasn't in at all. The old, they sort of putting me on like three or four nights weeks specifically to host, which was awesome. I remember you were hosting the one night I missed, I totally just space and missed a spot. I didn't space.

She gave me an extra spot. Back then, Gmail, if you added an email to the same thread, it like didn't notify you. Oh, weird. I missed a spot. And I was, I got out of the steamroom in Astoria and you're like, where are you at? And I was like, you're next. And I was just in a towel in the steam room. Already sweating.

Now you're sweating. Oh, my God. Anxiety sweat pushes through this. And that's when you were really afraid of Esty. It was like, oh, I'm, my career's over. where it said the most feared woman in comedy and it made me want to fucking throw my phone at the hole. Who do you think is?

Kim? I did South by Southwest and like I just got into the cellar. I was probably like a year into doing the cellar and I had a Sunday night spot and I got so drunk at the Saturday show that I slept through my plane and I remember texting her being like

SD I'm so sorry I slept through my flight and I'm going to miss the flight and I'm not going to be able to and she just, I remember her writing back. Okay. And me being like just hung over all day in Austin with the worst anxiety. Yeah, but, you know, they shouldn't instill fear in comedians for missing spots.

It's part of fucking life. It's a crazy sort of Nazi way to be. I remember my like third or fourth week there, I ruined a hiking trip with Derek. I was out in the Pacific Northwest. Shout out, Derek. And I didn't get, it was like Tuesday, whatever day you got spots then.

I didn't get any. And we were like hiking in the mountains in the Pacific Northwest. And I was like, I'm a fucking, I'm out. I almost like cried. I was like, I don't know what I'm going to do. It was like the greatest moment in my life. And it's like the biggest regret of my whole life.

I didn't get spots for a week. Yeah. And I was just pouting. Riking this great trip. Yeah, when we open our comedy club, don't worry, guys. So it's happening. Oh, yeah, I think so.

I mean, it's not official, but we're... Don't worry to people at, like, the level of Pacco and Danny? We're just not, they're not kidding. Are you out of your fucking mind? Paco and Danny? You're not going to let them work the club? No.

What about Joe Russell? No. Damn. We're elite. You know what? Let's toss it to the producer pit. Maybe they could produce a four o'clock show. You boys are slithering all over each other.

What do you think about a Saturday afternoon spot? I would love one. Oh, Paco, dude. Paco is like a Mexican boxer. Takes one to give two. I love it. He's always moving forward. I thought he was literally a Mexican boxer.

He's a Filipino boxer, which is stylistically pretty similar. When's the club open? Before or after I moved to Texas. Are you really? He is gone. What are you talking about? You should. You're going. Maybe.

You should. You should. You should. Why? He should. Get me going, dude. Give me some reasons. Because all of your fucking friends are here.

Every one of your friends are fucking here. You have multiple podcasts. That's not true. I have friends in L.A. I have friends in Washington. Can I finish? Can I finish. Can I finish?

Can I finish. Can I finish? Can I finish? All of your closest friends are here. Your entire identity is as a New York comedian. You're going to go and be a fucking shark amongst guppies. Keep on becoming the best, dude. I like that.

You're literally elite. You're one of the best in the world. You're going to go take your foot off the fucking gas and go to Texas. Cool. Now you are on the top three in Texas. Cool. Great. Now you've stopped making progress.

Oh. You've stopped becoming that guy. The progress that you'll make here by hustling and grinding will outweigh what you're saving in Texas. This is such a silly, silly, silly, elitist New York mindset. Oh, here we go. That the gas pedal has anything to do with where you live is fucking, is Bill Burr? foot off the gas? Yeah.

Is Brian Regan's? Bill Burden has done a special like fucking why do I do this in years. Wow. I mean, why do I do this was like less like 18 years ago.

No, but there is a point in it when you career where you live doesn't fucking matter. Also a road guy more than I am a New York guy. Yeah, now that he's doing the road.

The anchor isn't as important as we were doing. We did spot. I don't really do spots at the salary. I've done a New York City spot in five years. Wait, really? You don't even believe what you're saying.

Yeah. It doesn't even make sense. I do spots at. I do spots at. every week. You live here because you're a kid? I live here because, well, I mean, my... Lewis's whole argument just falls apart.

He goes, well, then never mind. Hold on me. I have entire foundation set up here. In order for me to move, I have to essentially start over. And my kid. Yeah. I mean, that's the foundation. The foundation is your kid and your family.

Well, the business is the studio. You could do Gas Digital Austin. You could have two studio. You could run that one. They run this one. So I'm going to go leave all of my popular podcasts and move to Austin. Damn, hands folded. He just got you.

He just debate clubbed you with his hands. So I'm going to go start fresh. I'm going to go start a podcast with fucking... Tim Butterley. The Butterly cast. Which I would love to do that. That would be a phenomenal podcast. Yeah, I bet if you started a podcast with Tony Hinchcliffe, it would go straight to the fucking shitter.

It would do well, that's my point. Wow. I need cookies. Joe has nothing to keep him here. He can, he's a road guy. The thing that makes me understand. He, his, they have family out there. Yeah, that's the thing.

That's the thing. My life, this is, I was talking to Sam, my wonderful friend Sam Marill, who's my favorite comedian. He's fantastic. The fuck is that. He's his favorite. Three of your best friends. He doesn't like any of our stuff.

He doesn't respect it. Soder does he respect. Soter and him a one in one A. What the fuck? So what the fuck are you talking about? Can add me in there, you fuck? He's like, it might be your top 250. You got, of course you got.

You guys, I love you guys. I don't care about your love. I love your comedy. I don't want. I told you. You don't let anything get through to you. What do you mean? I'll let it get through right now.

He's got a band-up. My first comedy notebook. The doctor had to go in and slap a rubber band around his tummy. Did he slap a rubber band around your head? I want to be serious with you, but that was really funny. It was real funny. They put a rubber band on your brain? That's so funny, Lewis.

Holy shit. Bobby can only hold somebody thoughts in his head. I didn't get a rubber band. I got gas for sleeves. I know. I think my stomach smaller. Okay. Put Lewis saying,

they put a rubber band in your brain is so funny. That's the Ralphie made like the rubber band. And it broke. Godd damn, Lewis. That might be my favorite, Lewis joke. I thought you were playing Sega Genesis over there. I go move.

My first comedy notebook, I've told you I've shown you. My first notebook, it's a picture of you and Chris Rock. Okay, great. You were, you were married my thing. You were fucking.

So I'm in the mix with Dan. Am I in the, I'm in the mix with Dan and Sam? Sam is so far above both. of you. I'm joking. Jesus. Can't we be silly anymore?

I'm putting in for more spots. I'm coming for that number one Joe spot. Anyways, the point is, do you guys go to this competition with comedy? You're foot on the gas. You've got to be number one. You've got to be here. He never said that.

He literally said that. He did. Don't say you guys. I said, I love car analogy. I'm talking about people making the case for where to live. My priorities are not to be

the fucking goat man. I want a yard, bro. Can I say? Can I say? Can I say? I want to fucking save. Can I say? Joe. That he's saying I want a yard because I told him he needs a yard and he said, fuck you. Oh, like New York City. Can I say? Now he wants a yard. Can I say? I like the yard, man. I was fucking right. Just say that.

Can I finish? Can I finish? Uh-huh. Joe, you, out of everybody, you could be the best. You could be the next Louis. I will never be better than the band. Or Bob. No, that's the thing. I think Dan is really has a shot. I think you're fucking killing.

No, I think you two guys have a shot to be the next Louis. You have, listen, I still have a more of a shot than you. I mean, you're older, you're older than Louis. Paco has more of a shot than you. There's potential. I don't want to be the next Louis. I want to be the first Joey. Ooh, I like that.

I like that, too. Good. Good. Joey C.K. If you started doing his joy, C.K. I'd actually. There's more to life than being the best, man. And as soon as you stop comparing yourself to other people,

you will flourish. That's true. It's true. It's not comparing yourself to other people. It is about... Sex. Hot sex. Hot sex with younger and younger women.

Younger and younger and younger. With hard-bodied young women. The women are in fucking Texas. It's crazy. It's outrageous. That's wild. I'm going. If I had the, if I had, if I would have had good enough grades to get into UT Austin, I would have died of boners.

Yeah. They're so fucking hot. You're so hot. You're right. You go down there every time you go. You're real? Yeah. You'd have a UTI.

Right there for the camera. I was going to make the same joke, but I knew that it would bomb. It didn't. It did not a handshake. I got a lot. I just gave him the key to the city. That was clapped there. Try it.

Just do it. We'll let you do it. Go ahead. Nope. I'm original. Just try. You are original. You're hurt. Try your way.

You're painfully original. Try your way. Yeah, you're painful. I bet your way's funny than Dan's way. Who did you punch? What did you punch? What did you punch? Your left hand.

Right here? Yeah. That's a burn, actually. Oh. What did you burn? I was making steak. I was making stakes for me and my son. You made a mistake.

I heard it the first time. Yeah. It was a putback. The second, the second attempt and the Ouga was what made me laugh. Danny, what Joe's saying. is you don't, he's happy right now. Great. So nothing is going to make him happier.

If he gets more famous, stays the same way, you're fine. The thing that sells it for me, knowing Joe, is that it is Sarah's family's close. They have family down there, Joe gets a backyard,

he can relax, nothing is going to change. I'm just being selfish, because I don't want him to move. Yeah, I don't want my friend to move. But. I have no problem with you. But go be friends with fucking Tom Segar

and Tony Henscliffe. Those are your friends. Guys, first of all, if he moves, we'll have a place to stay. if we ever go to I'll never ever stay with one of my friends ever

I crash at chains all the time when I go down now not once I get a hotel I come in the cell I'm crashing at Shane I throw them in the hallway I fucking pick my boogers I put them on the pillows I'm on the fucking I'm gonna ask you to stay now

The problem is in the winter You're like I gotta get out of here I'm moving to Texas and then it's 68 and sunny And you're like what am I talking about? Yeah You know that's problem July in Texas is crazy. Dude, June and 10. You're talking about 120 degrees. It's hot. It's a different summer.

And it's a different type of hot. And Sarah grew up with it, so she'll readjust much faster. Well, I'll keep a place here, get a small studio, and then get a house there. That'll save me some money. But the winter, the hot, the summer in Texas is the equivalent of the winter here. That was not as uncomfortable. I don't know, man. That winter this year was

fucking. No, this was the particularly brutal winter, but I don't walk. The problem is you live in New York. City. New York City is a difficult summer, winter, no matter what, it's extreme. When you're in the burbs, it's fucking rules. I get to my car. Brother, I'm telling you right now, I agree with everything you're saying.

I'm trying to go to the burbs of New York City. It's way harder to be in the burbs in the winter because you have to shovel, you have to take care of your driveway. I love that. You have to wipe your car off. I mean, I would have a car? I had three hours of fucking shoveling that last storm. Put it in some ear, bud. New York City

and I listen to my friends on last podcast on the last. left while I shovel. There's some fucking door guy shoveling everything. You just jump, but there's nothing to do. And the snow is gone in an hour and a half. Yeah, but the shoveling isn't the issue. It's like the fucking harsh, cold streets of New York. This is why New York, Texas summer is not as hard as New York winter.

Because in Texas, you get, you're in Central A.C. First of all, your house is built in 1985. It's true. Instead of 1941. Yeah, you don't have individual room temperatures. Your car is air conditioning. better back then. They have pools.

They have the river. I have a pool. They have central A.C. You have a river? You're not listening to the point. I own a river. In the winter in New York. Can you turn the air off?

I'm fucking freezing. In the winter in New York, I got to, I got to walk 20 minutes to the subway. Yeah, but you can, sometimes the Hudson River freezes. You can walk to New Jersey. Well, we're saying, if you move to the suburbs, you'll get used to coming into the city and leaving. And you'll have a backyard. You'll have all the shit you're looking for right here.

This is like you guys talking dirty to me right now. I went, oh, fucking backyard. I would love that. Sitting traffic listening to my news. I was sitting on my deck yesterday. Smok my one hitter. Grill in. I had a cigar.

Expenses, my God. There's no, it's the same as the city. My bills are the same. Same as Texas. No state income tax. But it's the same is when I owned an apartment in New York. My bills are the same as owning a house. But they're cheaper in Texas.

Cheaper in Texas. Yeah, you'll save money in Texas. You'll save money on your mortgage and a little bit on Texas. And you'll get a way better house to Texas. Yeah. You get a money. Marty will grow up with a house. playroom.

Yeah. Not really, not anywhere like nice in Austin. No, Austin is it starts to be in terms of buying a house now it's getting comparable

to like New Jersey Westchester. Really? It's very expensive. No way. Maybe I'll go to Ohio. Everybody moved there. But you can live off. If you're just looking to save money,

fucking move to fucking, uh, like Iowa. But my feet will be off the shot out. Iowa. Iowa's rim. The winter's a terrible. Horrible.

The wind. The worst. You'd have not. You, you'd, you'd, you'd agree there. Eugene Oregon,

however. I'll see you guys there. That's where I'm disappearing to. Too much rain. Too depressing. I love it. I love the rain. It's very green.

But Austin, he's going to have so many. There's such a comedy scene there now. So he's still going to be able to do shows. You'll be popping in. There's no other place that has a comedy. I'm not going to look at you. If I go to Austin and you move there,

I'm going to treat you like an X. I don't know anymore. Joe's going to be like Lewis. And you're going to be like, I don't know. I don't want to look at you right now. Dude, well, if that happens, I'm going to move to San Francisco.

Call him the San Francisco treat? Ding, ding. I'm gonna get a fucking house in Alameda. You know, expensatives to fucking live in San Francisco? Starting to drop, though, because all the tech bros dipped. Yeah, don't forget all the heroin act, the homeless people. I'm not gonna live on fucking Geary Street. I'm gonna live in fucking Marin, baby.

I'm gonna be out. I'm gonna be over the bridge. In Socelita? I love the Sausalito. Socelito's fucking pain. Let's all go to San Francisco and be homos. Dude, I would butt fuck all you in the bay. Have that fog roll over us?

I'd butt-fuck, Lewis. Uh-oh, it's the gay, please. Polaova. No Simon. Just a bag on top. Pal over. Let's do our plugs. Fine.

Plug it up. Plug it in. Let me begin. I have a meeting at 3. Come see me live on the road, guys, this weekend, or no, this comes out next week, right? Yes. Okay. All right.

So this comes out next Wednesday. All right, listen, listen. A couple things. First thing I want you to say, go buy your Skank Fest, all access passes. Okay. It's going to be the biggest and best lineup that we've ever had. Shane's going to be there. All the regs are going to be there.

Tony Hinchcliff. Mark Norman. Eric Andre is coming. Christina P. I mean, it's literally 160 or 70 of the best comedians in the fucking world. I can go on and on and on

from the T.J. Miller's to the Ari Shefirs to fucking... Ari's back? Yeah, Ari's back. Fucking, are you garbage guys. I mean, everybody. Go on the line-up, you'll see it. It's incredible.

Skankfest.com. Shout out to YoCradin for making it all possible. Get those tickets. They will set. We added more all-access passes because we're opening up that balcony this year for the VIPs. So, but they always. are going to sell out guys, and they're going to sell out soon.

So get them as soon as you can because you don't want to be stuck with just buying single-day pastas. It's going to be more expensive for you. If you guys want to see me on the road, this is coming out tonight. I got a couple more days in Los Angeles for the Netflix as a joke festival. We have Story Wars Live at the Comedy Store midnight. This is Thursday and Friday night, so come out tomorrow night, guys. And then this weekend coming up, I'm in Fort Myers, Florida. Coming up after that is Springfield, Missouri, Tulsa, Oklahoma, Oklahoma, City, Rosemont, Illinois, Chicago, La Jolla and more.

get those tickets on lewisoscanics.com sign up for my mailing list check out all the other podcasts that i do buy my book knives and spoons and spoons and nobles.com and uh just thanks for being real ass dudes and dudes and dude you know you know dude and if you are at the netflix as a joke festival come check out my show 930 that's it's coming out on wednesday so it's tonight at the agora theater it is uh me and tim dillon whoa watching made in manhattan joe de rosa's gonna be stopping by but we're gonna be making fun of that movie. 90 minutes of fun tonight at Netflix is a joke. And then I'm taping the special in June.

The tour might be over, but I'm still running the hour. If you live in Omaha, I'm going to be at the Funny Bone doing four shows. Nice fart. Was that a fart? After Dan's there, it's going to be called Omaha Ha Ha ha ha. There we go. Omaha Funny Bone, 15th and 16th. Sagalow will be with me for that.

And then New Jersey Performing Arts Center, June 5th. That's a hell of a room. Actually, I would just get to announce this too. I'm going to Key West, June 1st and 2nd. for Tom Dustin's comedy show or his room. I'll be there Monday and Tuesday,

June 1st, June 2nd. I'm very excited. It's such a small, it's gonna be so different than what you're used to doing lately. Well, what I'm doing is, I'm like fine-tuning the special, so I'm doing it in as many random rooms

as possible, so I'm excited to do Tom Dustin's room. That's June 1st and June 2nd. That's a Monday Tuesday. And then June 5th, I'm going to be at the New Jersey Performing Arts Center and then filming the special.

If I listen to Sodor, Danseater.com for tickets. I'm going to be announcing a bunch of club dates to work on a new hour. Thank you for everything. I love you. Who's next? I'll go.

I'm also at the Netflix festival. We're all there. That's fun. Are you rolling LA next week? Yeah. I leave Sunday. What days are you there? What dates?

I'm there the fourth to the 11th. I'm there the third through the eighth. Boys. I'm just there, 5, 6, 7. I'll be hanging out with my L.A. friends though, sorry. May set tomorrow. Thursday. I'm at the Hollywood Improv,

baby, and then what? You're distracting me. You're talking right in the fucking microphone. Yeah, you really are talking right into a microphone. It was crazy. When on that Monday, I can't, I'm opening. Just have the conversation. Just keep having the conversation.

Let him. Jesus. Sorry, sorry. Sorry, sorry. Fuck are you doing. Big UK tour, baby. Glasgow, I'm at the Oran Bungigel. Yeah. May 17th, London, Leicester Square Theater.

Once sold out, we added one. That one did not sell out. So get tickets to that added one. Oh, fuck yeah. Leicester Square, dude, that place rules. Go buy tickets if you live in the UK for Joe List. That's a fun venue. Please.

I've got to come back there. I want to go to the UK. May 24th, Hen and Chicken, Bristol. Then Dublin, the Ambassador Theater. Belfast, the limelight. And then I'm back home at Governors, June 12th through the 13th, June 12th and 13th, I guess. And then Portland, Maine, my favorite fucking club, July 2nd.

I'm going back to Empire, too. I love it so much. It's a great club. It's fantastic. Love it. I went in the summer last year. Oh, yeah. I'm very excited.

Go to punchup.com. Live slash Robert Kelly, uh, the 15th and the 16th. I'm at hilarities in Cleveland, one of my favorite clubs. And then I'm doing one show at New York Comedy Club in Stanford. May 21st. And then I'm going down to New Orleans on the 22nd. to the Howland Wolf in the Crescent Theater in Alabama on the 23rd.

And I'm back at Governors on the Friday and Saturday, I think the 19th and the 20th. And then I'm doing the mothership this summer, 4th of July weekend, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. And then I'm going to, I'm doing the Brooklyn improv. Do you guys know they opened up an improv in Brooklyn in September? All that's different. Coming back to Boston in September. Go to punchup. Live slash Robert Kelly.

My special's up there for free. check that out and that's it and I will not be at the Netflix is a joke festival. I'll be here holding the fort down in New York while you guys are gone. Keeping it fucking safe.

There we go, we're back. What's up? Dude, what do you got, Joe? I don't know. Watching the Hulk Hogan dock. Yeah, that was pretty good. It's interesting. Is it? I liked it. I thought it was going to be a real puff piece

it wasn't as good like I wanted like the you want like a real documentary but you're not going to get that when the family's involved and when the WWE but they did the controversies right they did all of them

yeah they did him saying the N word they did uh him fucking Bubba the Love Spunge's wife they did uh I haven't got to that part yet yeah that's episode four episode one rules because you just go like hey you want some real nostalgia and watch them just kick ass at every time

and they did have some footage I never saw before yeah but it's made in conjunction with the WWE which always is but the Andre the giant documentary was too and that was really good. That's HBO. HBO was so much better than Netflix. Was Rocky? Was Rocky what popped him over the top? Was that the thing?

He got fired from WWF for doing it. Vince McMahon's dad fired him. He was like, don't you do that movie? And he's like, I'm going to do the movie. Well, that's crazy. And then he did the movie. What a dumb business decision on their end. Well, he didn't know. Massive movie. Well, they were trying to protect the business. And then Hogan did the movie and went to AWA

in Minnesota and became like a villain with Freddie Blassie. And then they and then Vince McMahon Jr. hired him back. Then he briefly joined the NWA, which is the first time he said the N-word. Why do you say it, though? What was the context? Of what?

Of the N-word. He's joking. N-words with attitudes. Yeah, well. You hang out with Papa Shango enough. You're going to say the N-word. Also known as the godfather. You've never spent a Friday night with Kamala the Uganda giant.

Travel with him. There's no other word. It's like traveling with Lewis. It really is. It really is when you think about wrestlers changing their... What does that look? Wrestlers changing their gimmicks, but you have to be friends with their new gimmick.

Like, if you change from, like, Lewis to some other name and I just had to acknowledge you, I'm like, oh, this is Zoom, Zoom, Zoom, the Puerto Rican. I got away. Hey, Zoom, Zoom, the Puerto Rican, you're not the Puerto Rican rattlesnake anymore. The racism in 80s wrestling is just fucking... Yeah, it was all nationalism and racism.

It was easy. It's great. What? I mean... I mean... What? What happened? The problem.

What's wrong, baby? What happened, little Lewis? Is your milk spoiled? They're fucking idiots. My guys would never do this. Damn, he says my guys. He's talking about like you're a homo. Not me, Joe.

I didn't say nothing. The one's sucking down cookies. You say homo. You fucking pussy. Not me. Suck it down cookies. Louis, what did I do wrong? I'm sorry.

Well, it's just not... How little that bite is? Hold that up for the record. Really nice, Joe. Is it the wrong size? Yeah, it's the wrong size. It's the wrong. There's too much...

I said a little bit of cream. I didn't tell you to tell them to make my coffee brevet. I get a brevet. Lewis is a coffee divas. Two sugar-free caramels in a small cup coffee is a lot. It's all wrong. All wrong, you fat pig.

There's no Tunkat-A-Li in this. There's no Eschwaganda. Oh, go on. No line. There's no Lionsman. What kind of coffee do you get that in? You can find a couple out there. It's really looking. Does anybody? Tunkat Ali, Lions made, and coffee. I'm sure it'll come up somewhere.

Look it up. It's a great old Paul Nardizzi joke. We open a gift on Christmas and they go, oh, wrong size. He goes, no, wrong guy. Must have mistaken me for a dick. They go, we kept the receipt. Yeah, go get it. Very funny comedian.

Paul Nardizzi was great. Still is, I assume. I mean, I haven't seen him in a long time, but. Very mad guy, though. He's angry. He wrote a book, 602 reasons to be pissed off. Oh, look at that. Body brain.

I thought maybe you'd be pulling up the thing we're talking about now. Bobby Brain. You got to talk about the thing we talked about three episodes ago. Then they'll bring it up. Hell yeah. Taking the world by storm. Bobby, I'm going to have a creamer to you next week. Next week, you're going to ship it to me?

Cosmo Creamer. I didn't want to like that. Yeah. I didn't want to, but I did. Do you all right or what? He's fine. Fuck that. Okay.

Isn't it funny that we've lived? through three assassinations of the president in a year and a half? Attempts. I mean, Jesus, can somebody fucking kill him already? What are you doing? How bad are these assassins? I mean, if you're going to do a fake one, at least make it look real. The guy got

tackled. It's like, dog, if they opened fire, they would have Swiss cheezed him up. I could not stop laughing at the Wolf Blitzer lost a shoe. Do you hear that? She did he? Wolf Blitzer was going to the bathroom and they tackled me, lost a shoe, and he's like, oh, he just wanted to shit, the poor guy. Did you see the old guy eating from CIA?

Oh, that was great. He just kept eating. Everybody's on the ground, holding each other in fear. And this guy's just eating like this. Yeah, whatever. The funniest one was RFK ditching his wife. Oh, she couldn't get up with those stupid high heels. She goes, stop, stop.

She's reaching for him. And they're like, get him the safety. She goes, I'm right here. Guys, I'm right here. Every man for himself. How about all the rich bits? Save yourself. I knew they were coming for me.

They were stealing the wine. Did you see all the bitches? Oh, that's great. They were all just great. They're like, I'll take that. That's a good wine. Hey, these, hey, these congressmen are going to dump you hose off. Grab what you can.

Now is my opportunity to get rid of her. I can grab the power. I'll sit on the throne. There's RFK. Did it ever turn of the story? Big J. Colm. Skeletor on Skanks. We were at, I probably told this before at some point, but we were at the, the Squire.

Remember the Squire? Yeah. In Revere. Bavere. Strip Club. Me and this guy, Ryan Cott, who's the manager at Laughston. Yeah. In the comedy connection in the old days.

We're sitting there at the strip club, whacking back beers. A huge brawl breaks out between like some hals, some biker gang, white biker gang, and a big group of black guys. And it's the craziest brawl I've ever seen. Like, I mean, literally people getting bottled, fucking, like a loony tunes. Just a cloud with limbs. And in the middle of it, a black guy, not in the fight, just jumps up and just sweeps up all the money from the stage and just took off right out the door. And I was like, that's one of the coolest things I've ever seen. It was like cash flying behind him.

He must have had 80 bucks or stuff. Before he goes, he goes, if I see a sign, I just need a sign, Lord, they're there listening to me. He's fighting. He goes, there it is. That's about $35 in ones. The other great thing was all the strippers ran off the stage to hide, but they were watching the fights.

They had like a stack of stripper heads. Oh, really? A little totem pole. They were all like. Like a little rascal's trying to sneak into something? It was crazy. I saw a guy literally bottle a guy in the face, and the bottle broke like a flash bulb.

Like, one of the worst things I've ever seen in my life. Did he bleed? I mean, did he bleed? Yeah. I mean, I didn't stand and watch the result, but he went, and then, like, went down. It was like a fucking old West cowboy brawl. I just feel like with weapons.

Did someone get grabbed on the bar and then throw it all the way down? Lewis, what's the matter? Normally you'd laugh at that. What happened? What's the matter? Mood swing. No, it's not mood swing.

It's what happens when he smokes meth because he's clavicular. It's the wrong coffee. He looks maxing now, so he smokes meth and hammers his chin. Well, I've known you a long time. Usually that's a bit. You'd go, ah, and do that thing.

And then you'd join. in and it wouldn't be as good as Dan's stuff, but it would be pretty good. It didn't tickle me. Really? Old-timey saloon fight. Didn't tickle Louis J. Gobin. And the guy getting slid down the bar

and it's not getting over? If there's anything built for a rattlesnake laugh. What could he have you done? I mean, I'll literally go back to Bobby having a treadmill as a chocolate as a chocolate fucking conveyor belt. One of the hardest that I've laughed in maybe five years. That was pretty funny.

When you said this is getting comical. It's getting comical, dude. They gave me a chocolate conveyor belt. That's what they call the company Youser. Yowses? That's a lot of fun. How do you eat all those cookies? Two, I've had two.

Yeah, and then you're also chewing. Every time you come back, I keep in hearing the... The wetness of your mouth. You on? They really... Deep in ketosis right now. What does that mean? You can't have any food.

No, you can have food, just not sugar. and carbs. Probably can't shit, I bet. No, I can shit well. Just meat? Meat, vegetables, cheese, fats, nuts. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So you can get dairy in? Yeah. You can have, like, yogurt? The more, actually, the more fat you have, the better it is.

Really? Yeah. I've had a big old bowl of yogurt before I came in. Yeah, yogurt's great. A lot of protein, a lot of fat. It's delicious. When are you going to have bread again? I don't know. I don't know. He stops taking trips to Jamaica. No. I'm going to, I'm going to Jamaica again in December.

Fat, Louis. Oh, December. Okay, thank God. If he was anything before December, after Skank Fest, we're doing a fucking. All right. I probably would have got a little upset. No, when I come to Skang Fest,

I'm going to be, I'm going to look like a fucking just a prisoner. Well, you're fighting, right? Fighting, yeah. So is that what the thing is? And then, so you're going to get fat after. So the episode between Skank Fest and Jamaica, we will see you ballooned up.

Guys, whatever episode, the Christmas episode, Yankee Swap, I should play Santa Claus. Can you get so fat? You have to play Santa. Oh, sorry. Good, Santa's got to sit out. Getting tingle feeding. We should do a live

regs at Skangfest. Yeah, we should start promoting the Christmas one now. Maybe we can sell tickets. Remember when we tried to sell out the Grammarcy of the year and we sold 50% tickets? We should have Gabby Brian be on the show. We sell it out.

Honestly, for the bit, yes. We should. She should be Santa and be mean to us. It would be great if we have half her fans and half our fans. What are these old men doing? It's bugging me. Why does one of them keep eating cookies?

Like, he's a little mouse. If you give a Joe a cookie, he'll ask for another cookie. He'll ask for another cookie. And then I'll make a pun. All right, gentlemen, let's take a quick moment and thank Quince for supporting the show. Quince clothes are high quality, versatile, and built to last.

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Because I have a two and a half year old son. End of discussion. Yeah, well, dog years, that's 17. Hold on, but what is that? What is it? Is it jizz? Is it fluid? Is it milk from your pants?

You've come on your shirt for having a two-year-old son? Yeah, what are you going to get spackling a wall together? Yes, and I can't tell the story until the lawsuit. No, it's tooth paste. But that's not because of your son. Are you holding your son while you're brushing your... It looks like you're painting in your living room. He's learning to brush his teeth.

So on your chest? You spit on your tits? Oh, the toothbrush doesn't fit in Joe's mouth. So it hits his lips and then he hits with it. He goes classic toothbrush axle. Sarah, where's my toothbrush shirt? Where's my smock? Jay's toothbrush is shaped like a little turtle.

Do you think that's better than the sliding down the bar? Yeah. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I liked it. I thought it was all right. I mean, it's great.

Having stains like that in your shirt is nuts. Yeah. Why? Well, I understand that they have a kid, but you could look at it. It's not a kid thing. It's not like you were like your kid got truck on your shirt because you were holding. I was like you brush your teeth. You have a kid.

Those are two separate facts in the world. You're just using that as an excuse. You change your shirt. Why do I not have pants on? I have a kid. But you can wipe that off with water right now. Well, you do this when it's still... No, it's like, it's on there.

I don't know. I don't know what it is. I don't really care. I'm not vain. You guys are all worried about... No, you're a member of society. You can't find Bobby's veins. I don't really get it.

Because he's fat, too. You're still fat. But fat people, you can see their veins all the time. I'm going to be shredded in three months. Yeah. But you're not now, fat so. I'm not as bad as you. You'll be fat again.

We have this dialogue every show. And you're the misdifuckin. We talked about this, police. All right. Who's fat or Bobby or Lewis? You're fat. I'm not fat. Every episode.

And it's always because of you. To be fair. I fluctuate. You can. So it's a topic. It should be a topic. Honestly. So much so.

It's a topic. You know, it's not like. You fluctuate too much food. We heard it the first time. He didn't hear it the first time. I didn't hear it. I unfortunately heard it. I heard it twice.

I got to get my fluctuate down. I like it. I was right to see if D anywhere. But isn't that bad for you to go up and down? Yes, that's what I said earlier. I stayed there and then I came down. Bobby, you got a medical procedure. Yeah. Whatever it is.

I went way up. Whatever you're doing is not healthy than what I'm doing. I thought it looks great. What are you talking about? It's not healthier. I've been healthy for four years. I've been crashing your weight up and down. down?

Yes. You have. I'm, by every metric if you're in directional hearing, we'll go to the doctor and we'll get blood work

I promise you by every measure I'm healthy. Okay. He's 14 years older than you. I do that. What? He's 14 years older than you. He's in the winter of his life.

What the fuck? But also, someone through a fucking compilation of every time Lewis has brought up the surgery. We get it. Uh-huh.

You fucking have. Bobby's been late for that forever. You literally had a surgery. Bobby did every episode. Bobby did. Let me just tell you the expression of joy that Bobby just had. He has been waiting for that or he was like, yeah. I couldn't say it.

We get where we need to get how we get that. This puppy sucks. I'll have your little brevet. If you dump it on Joe's head, I will never zing you ever again for the rest of my life. Yeah. Is it bad? It's just crazy sweet. Let me try it.

It's really sweet. What is it? Because he put two pumps of sugar-free caramel and a little tiny coffee. Oh, fuck. Why don't you pour? And no tongue cat Ali. No tongue cat Ali. Non tongue call Ali.

Tongong Ali. We're doing Lucy's dad again. Hey, what's up, guys? Hey, you want some tongueat Ali? Don't forget to listen to my new podcast on Gas Digital called Lewis Senior. That's not my name. Louis Senior. All right.

Thank you for saving me. Because I felt myself falling down the hill and then Joe grabbed me. Let's go through everyone name what they think. is underrated about the other person. Underrated. Underrated. Underrated about the other person. Yeah.

I think the joy that Lewis brings... You got to go around. You go first, you go around. I think the joy that you bring it to hangs, everyone thinks you're like mean and violent all the time, but you genuinely are... And I said this last episode, you're a silly, Billy, and I love it more than that.

What's underrated about Bobby is his compassion for other people. The way he's a genuine person that will call you and check in with you. Compassion. He is passionate about come. That makes you feel seen. That's so good.

That was good. Compassion. But I always feel really good about our friendship whenever we talk on the phone. I do call all you guys just to say hi. Joe is the, I would say, the single most underrated stand-up comedian working today. Wow. Well, that's right. I think he is phenomenal.

I think he's prolific. I think he is in a, and no one gives him the flowers that he deserves as a stand-up comedian. He's fantastic. Thank you, Dan. One of my favorite to watch. Wow. Wow, that's going to be hard to beat. That was just real.

That was just from the Hort. Go ahead. Go ahead. Me next? Yeah. Underrated. I think that, uh, uh, underrated. Oh, man, you just call me overrated, though.

No, no, no, no, you're like perfectly rated. Yeah. I agree. They nailed it. Everything that everyone thinks about Dan is true. Nobody oversells it. Nobody really is underselling him. Yeah.

The guy's exactly where he should be. Yeah. I'll take it. Oh, I absolutely take that. For these cookies. I keep smelling. Oh, fuck. It's like heroin.

Underrated, I think that Bobby is... Jesus Christ, Lewis. I mean, you could just make something, huh? Or maybe not go second. Yeah. You know, you couldn't just wait until you were fourth and been okay about all this. You don't come back to me. That's even worse.

That's even... No, no, no, now you're in it. You don't see anybody's good quality. No, no, no, no. All right, underrated. No, no, no, no, I agree. That's right. He's very competent.

His foot's on the gas. Lewis J. Gasman. Yeah. That's where the name came from. Yeah. No, I do think that, Joe, you are. No, you fucking miss. Skip me.

No, me. I'm going to go back to him thinking. I don't want you to go back to me right now. Okay. I think that a lot of people underrate what you are. And you are actually way worse. then people would even understand. That's not good thing.

You got to hang out with you to really understand it. You really think I'm the fucking cut. On all your friends, I'm the one that fucking gives you the trouble. I've always fucking been there for you. You call me whatever you want. You are, though. I love you. Not a, in our lives.

What in our lives have I been a novel? You're a fucking, by John Steinbeck. You know you are a fucking, you're a fucking cunt. All right. No, stop. Give him cookies. He's pushing his mouth on the camera. Give a Joe a cookie,

and then you have to do a stupid thing. Do you, you fucking, cut. I do think that Joe is me. I mean, I kind of agree with Danny's. Maybe the most underrated comedian out there, even though people rank you as great. Are you taking fine?

Nope. Because he has an original thought. That's why. He had no original thought. And he can't. Oh! Oh! Oh!

Who's the fucking Pacco is out Dude Pacco is losing it I'm gonna put you in a little fucking raccoon suit And you're gonna go everywhere with me I'm gonna walk

I'm gonna walk around on a leash I'm putting you in fucking I'm putting you in rabbit ears And you're mine A pet Paco Go ahead Joe No you didn't Did you go?

I did everybody Yours was Yours was fucking stupid Mine was from the heart of yours. It was horrible. It was not. It was fucking stupid. He went to me, he goes,

you're perfectly rated. You're a, what Dan said. I think, first of all, that's a great round. I think he's perfect, perfectly rated. Yeah.

Exactly what you think of him, exactly what he is. Fucking mediocre. This is why you don't fuck this up before you go around. I think you're perfectly rated as a dud. A lot of people,

a lot of people like me. A lot less. Listen, Dan, I think, is underrated as far as a, as a friend. Thanks. I think that you, out of all of them. We always talk about what a shitty friend you are. He doesn't agree. No, I'm telling you, you're one of.

We try to tell you out. We all hate you. Anytime I call you, we have normal conversations. We talk about all kinds of the shit. Never about the business or trying to make it. It's just about silly shit, about life and blah, blah, blah. and I love that. When I call you up and you're,

and you're like, hey, what's up? What's going on? And I'm like, what's up? Dude, just call and say hi. And you're genuinely happy. Dan has a reporting that he presses every time Bobby calls. I go, it's Bobby.

No, I do have to call. All right, dude, yeah. Exactly. Oh, that sounds so cool. You watch wrestling? I go, all right, Kay. Where were we? I do.

I do have to call Dan twice. Yeah. Well, I have my phone on silence. I don't see. Joe, I think, uh, You want those Packs to say

I think you're underrated as the You're just known as a comic I think you have way more to offer I think people don't see That you have way more to offer As far as Entertainment business

As far as writing And you know directing and coming up With other ideas You've taken a path You're one of the group I think you're one of the best comics out there A lot funnier

But you're also doing this You're going off into this other area that most comics don't go in. And you are going. Louis went into it. I think there's only a few people that went. And you're actually doing it and you're not asking. And all the stuff you've produced so far for the July, the Tom Dustin thing, the skankfest thing. It's pretty amazing that you put that on your plate along with your amazing comedy.

I do car now. I think it's great. I think it's great. On your plate. Listen, it's like you're baked, but you're not baked too long. Your eyes have been in your stomach, dude. need you to make it right. He fucking need...

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I called you. I'm sorry I called you. You're skinny and in shape and you're healthy. Without you're not a... You're really sweet. You're sweet and you're fucking healthy. There we go.

That's who he is. Without you. Fucking angry. I'm not angry. Don't fold your hand. Yeah, don't fold your hands. You're folding your hand. No, Bobby.

Congressional hearing Lewis. Yeah, exactly. I'm done. I'm done. I succeed. I give back my time. Back to the senator from Maine. And there you go, Joe.

That was really nice, Bobby. You got it. No problem. That was very sweet. You're right. Thank you. I love you. I love you too.

Go ahead, Joe. Did you go? I love you, man. Are they about to fuck? Maybe. Bobby's about to get herpes? No, I'll take it in the ass for you. You got to put a condom on.

All right, you got to go. I just, I don't really have anything. I just thought it would be a good topic. I think, I'm obviously underrated with topics. I mean, this is crazy. This is the whole episode. It's most mess. memorable part.

No, what made me think of this in the first place, and I talk about this all the time. Louis J. Gomez is the single, not just underrated, but best straight man of all time. You are the straight man. The taking a bump is so funny. Nothing is funny in the world. And when you shoot you and you make that exact face.

It's perfect. The death stare? Nobody in the history of comedy. I am the best straight man. You are the best gay man, you fag. You are Mick Foley. You, we have been tossed off the top of a fucking... No, I have the thickest skin in comedy.

Easily. I'm not talking about thickest skin, though. I'm talking about the funniest reaction to anything ever. It's so funny. It's the funniest thing you do. Which one? When I just get serious and I get angry and I stay angry?

You mean that? When he becomes real? And he wants to actually fight you? That's what makes you laugh. Oh, cool. I guess I'm just a fucking asshole. All right. I get what you're saying.

Yes. Yeah, you're right. That is great. That's funny. that's funny. And Bobby is just the most killingest killer of all time. We all talk about it, obviously, because we know,

we get it. You kill harder than anybody for like 30 years. I think everyone knows that about Bobby. I don't know if he underrated. I think everyone knows that Bobby's the fuck. I don't think he gets the do. I don't think he gets the do. I think everyone knows it in our circle. Don't you feel? I feel like a lot of people, people say,

oh, Louis and this and that and this person and that person. I don't feel like Bobby gets brought up. I think that anybody that's slightly in the know knows how fucking funny Bobby is on stage. I mean, I think the comics know, I think that a lot of times you'll see people talk about

Louis or Geraldo and even DePaulo will sit here and be like, oh my God, that guy is fucking whatever. But I don't think people talk about you enough as the funniest. This is kind of hurting. Thank you, buddy. I don't have the bank accounts to show it. Well, that's part of it. That's the real problem. He's like, see, Bobby, most people

think you stick and you're really good. That's not what I'm saying. That's the problem with comedy as everybody looks at who's selling tickets. This game hurts everyone's feelings. Except for Joe and Dan. I literally got called underrated by all three of you. I didn't say you underrated. I said your creativity.

No, we said you're... Hold on. I said you're like one of the best and I don't know that people put you in that category yet. That's different than being like oh, he's a fucking killer and people think he's a fat loser. That's not what they said. That's what you just said. You just said that. I didn't say that. You're fat, too.

I'm talking about how he should be talked about along the lines of Louis and Gerald. You're on keto. Yes. It's a willpower. It's not willpower. You lose your willpower every six months. The general public race. He steals drums and that willpower is out the window.

Ding, ding, ding, ding. He's like, oh, don't worry. There goes, oh, here he comes. and play the E-Tang music he likes. He comes in looking good and lives. I think he's still drum as a bowl for food. Hey, can you fill this with rice and season trip? No, I can't.

This is how I play. It's a musical instrument. Yeah, but what if you like, put some scotch bonnets. Are you familiar with a walk? What if you use this as a giant walk? Oh, my God. That guy's playing that giant bowl. All right, what does he do?

He must be very hungry. Ding, ding, ding. Dude, feeling the steel trouble food. That was good. Go ahead. It was good bits. I missed the whole bit because I was, you would make a twist in my words.

Damn. You're a twister. Yeah, that's what he does. He twists it. You're an underrated twister. I flipped it. Yeah, he flipped it. Good callback.

What about Dan? I mean, no one has anything bad. It's not underrated. That's what's hard about Dan is it's hard to find anybody saying anything negative about you. That's what's incredible. It's incredible about it. Crawl up here.

Yeah. Yeah, but that's another thing that makes people like you more that you hate yourself. A lot. For what? I don't know. It's my whole life.

Nobody hates you. The stain right now. Well, look at that stain. You don't have a two and a half year old. You have no excuse. I know. I'm just a fucking idiot. It's a slob.

Yeah, I don't care about things like stains and shirts and clothes. Yeah, we know. We got it. You're an underrated comedian, of course. It's crazy. And an underrated writer, too, because I think people think of your actouts,

your voices, your characters, but you're one of the great writers. You're one of the great comics. Thanks, buddy. I mean, you know how I feel about you. Yeah, I love you. And I think people rate based on, and you're getting there now,

but tickets, people just look at whoever has the most money, the most ticket sales, and they think that's who's, that person must be. Oh, in that case, I'm not even a comedian. Are we going by that standard? I'm actually going to kill myself. And I think some people, certain people, that sell all, they see it that way also.

Yeah. They'll go, how was that guy good? He works this club or that club. Yeah. I can tell you guys. I think Dan is though right now is selling all theaters. I said he's getting there. I'm rated.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm coming back to clubs. They'll work on the new hour. Hopefully I can go back to theaters eventually. When you leave, you go like, can I come back? Well, that's the problem. Theaters, it's like the cell.

Like we talked about earlier, you get past. And now you're like, oh, my God, am I going to get spots? I didn't get a spot. The theaters, it's like so exciting to get them. And then you're like getting the numbers being like, it sucks. With a comedy club. If you don't sell enough tickets, you're like, well, it'll be weird, whatever.

And we're, you're feeling like an asshole. We're friends with guys, you know, like Nate and Shane and stuff that they announce and then it's immediately sold out. But when you do theaters, you go, like, every day your agent's going, why isn't it moving? And you go, I don't know. I don't know. As soon as you get that call, it's like, hey, can you do like a two-camera video promoting your day? Try getting that from. You know how many times I got that from like?

Try getting that from Uncle Vinnie's. Oh, yeah. Can you do that? You a two camera promotion. Hey, I'm going to be in. This is Dino. We only have 40 tickets. It's a 60-seater.

But it's up, you know, I think stand-up if you do it, your whole life up and down. And it's a nerve-wracking. Let me ask you a question, though, because I've done theaters, I've done clubs. It seems like when you do a theater, you make good chunk of money. But if you do a club for five shows. You make more money. You make more money. You make more money.

You get more reps. Yeah. It's more money. Well, it's five shows, one city. You sell out a lot of the times. But you get a door deal, there's no union. Exactly. There's not like, to make money in theaters, it is if you do two and a night.

But you still make great money when you do one at night. And the show is better for the fans in the club. I think the show is better in a theater. No, for me, dude, a theater dude, like 16 people right in the front. No, I'm saying the show is better for the comic. Just a big, empty theater. You really hear the laugh and laughs. Yeah, like jazz.

But I hear tons of fans say they prefer a club. Yeah, but when you have so little people in the theater that it actually echoes. It actually sounds pretty fucking cool. Like a stadium. Yeah, I don't know. I think theaters are, they're both,

they're different, but they're both great. I like a theater because they're all facing you. There's no chicken wings. There's no nothing. And you got one shot to get it right, and you come out and bang. But also,

you can also pour all. It's a faster show. You can put all your energy in. Yeah. Control it. You go like, you know. A club are coming in earlier.

They're drinking. They're fucked up. They're also watching 20 minutes America's Funniest home videos before you're going to do 15 minutes of the home. and then 20 minutes to the other guy. And then they drop checks. And Paco goes up and fucking tanks the crack. Get them all back.

The whole fucking to do. I want to be clear. I'm saying unquestionably, it's better for the comic in a theater. But the audience is club. I think they like clubs better because they're right there. They're right on you. I think they like the experience of being in a beautiful theater.

Sitting down, they come in. The show starts quicker. It's over a little faster. But they get that, they get more of just you. Well, I would say as a fan of comedy, I always liked when I would see someone,

one workout in a club and you go like, oh, that's really cool. I get to watch them work out. And then you go to see the theater to see like the finished product. And you go, oh, that's like a show, like a whole hour. I think an arena sucks for fans. Arenas sucks for fans. Sucks because they're not, they're not getting the experience. But guys like Nate and Shane, I understand why they do them because they can do them.

Yeah, they can do it. You can make a lot of money. You've got to have to do it. But they're like, it's still a good show, but it's not like. Yeah, just the being close to them, the club thing. Club thing you can get a club fucking rockin. You know what the best is? If a fan just like pays you two G's and you show up at their house,

you hang out with them, tell them your jokes. What's the comic that does that? Does a backyard tour? I don't know. Robbie Bernstein. Robbie Bernstein. Robbie the Fire also was in for the auditions to be YKADD Produce.

He was. Yeah, Robbie the Firebrenstein wore suit. Oh yeah. He was here, yeah. Damn, going against young shit. He does a smart thing. He does the porch tour. He finds somebody that's a porch and like fucking people bring their own chairs and like B-Y-O-B.

Great. He charges like 20 bucks. I might hire him this year to do my association up in New Hampshire. Really? Because they have a big lawn on the beach, and it's like 38 units in the association. Sure. And I'm thinking of just paying him out of my pocket to come down and do a comedy show for right on the beach. Now, would you be doing the show too?

No. I'll be fucking sit front row and just watch him. Life's the beach. Yeah. Yeah. People are going to be trying to push Bobby back in the water. I was going to say, after a while, you'd be like, why don't you? you go on stage.

Huh? I thought I would let you guys be awkward. I'd kill all of you first, just so, you know? I'd fucking just, oh, dude, on camera. And you know, by the way, you know these assholes would put out the video. I just, they'd clip it. They'd clip it. They go, they clipped the mass shooting.

You go, oh, yeah. It'd have to. With different colors for the gunshots for each of us. It's like, boom, boom, boom, it's red. Joe committee take photos, like, autopsy photos of us all. To jet.