Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Don't Be Afraid of the Hospital

Episode Date: July 30, 2012

Comedians Kyle Grooms and Louis Katz join the crew. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un duvena que de'm a fan of Madrid.

You know what, dude? Podcasts on rightcast.com. Now do it like you mean it. Like what's healing. Alright, you know this is Kyle Groms, you listen to it to you. You know what, dude? Podcasts on rightcast.com. Same exact way as you just did it.

There was no different feeling oh I mean you really are just a shitty right no you're a shitty actor I said do a different feeling yeah feeling this is style group now what the fuck is that cow grooms you listen to you know what do podcasts on right cast dot com why you jerked somebody off while somebody off hey everybody it's Dan Soder monster voice from the you know what dude podcast brommy is gonna be live Rhode Island you got from great strip clubs well you know what else you got eight on August 16th Bobby's gonna be at the comedy connection go check it out one show only get your tickets Bobby's gonna be at the comedy connection. Go check it out. One show only.

Get your tickets. It's gonna be a blood bath. I don't even know. That's not a proper way to actually promote a comedy show. And the 18th August, Wilbur Theater, bean town, the prodigal son, or one of the prodigal sons returns. One show only.

So get tickets now. Before it sells out, and you guys end up getting in fights with your sweat pants and your Celtics hoodies Fuck yo, there's fucking sweatpants kid. Fucking warm up pants and sweatpants are the same fucking thing and fuck you go Bean time Hey gang, this is Colin Quinn. This is Jim Norton. This is Dennis Leary. This is Opie from a lot of things. This is Bert Chrysler. Staying cooking, you are listening to Robert Kelly's, you know what, dude?

You know what, dude? I know what, dude! This is Robert Kelly's, you know what, dude? You know what I'm doing. Welcome to the You Know What Dude podcast. I was gonna ask a wee on air. We've been on air for a while. That's the way I fucking roll here.

Unlike his podcast, are we gonna introduce the people here? Kyle Grooms? Yes. From, from Hic Hop Radio? On what's the channel again? It's on P and C. People need change radio.

I want you to fucking. That sounds like you guys are doing guys aren't you making a difference That sounds like you guys are constantly doing a drive for Come on guys. We got five tickets left to the meds. It's it's about it's about social change and about awareness Yeah, it's about the white man It's about the well, you know, it was on it with him chafen yeah the fucking show the fucking

hill up the fucking double how would you call me i said it's in for my clown show i did your show this will bug me about your show change since you go on the show and it's fucking

Basically, you made me wait you and him bring up these conversations these topics and you talk about them And I'm supposed to just sit there and not say anything while they talk about You know the topics of the day or the week and I look I'm a comedian. I'm not a fucker I have shit to say to mother fucker So I'm sitting there patiently waiting, because you're gonna intro me. Fuck you, grooms. I just started yapping right off the bat.

I'm like, I'm gonna sit there waiting. Not to throw Dustin under the bus, but that was his idea. Well Dustin stinks. Yeah, because I was like, yeah, just let him come in and we get the energy flowing. Because even I said, to me, that's the lamest part of the show

and we kinda have to talk to each other. You guys do that. You guys do that. That shit that more that long weekend. Yeah, that's what shows do. So where were you exactly? They brought you. What did you do this? Well, you know what, you remember that leg by my house? Oh, did you take Cynthia? I took Cynthia and the kids. Oh my God. You know what's weird, Donna said she wanted to go with you guys. I told you, you should have brought her.

And this is where you're gonna come back with a weather. This is the funniest thing, too. You guys are dicks. We are good. You fucking stink. This is an instinctually, though, as a comic, okay? I couldn't do it. They were like, instinctually, my God would not fucking let me

not yap. Because I was in there and they brought up some horseshit And I'm like I have something to say right now. Here's a funny line. Oh, here's another Please Robert. Hey, hang on my god. And then I was gonna introduce you to you guys Did it man? Oh? They did But they did though because I did start yapping and fucking dust and was like well, you know We're gonna introduce you a little later. Fuck you

I'm doing you you know, we're gonna introduce you a little later. Fuck you. I'm doing you. You know who I am. Whoa. All right. You're right. That's ego. That's ego. But it's Dustin and I wait a second.

Kyle and Dustin. I know. See, I'm right. You lucky to sit in the studio because we usually that we started making people wait in a lot. I would have really bring them in like you may come in. Yeah, that would have lasted fucking eight seconds for me. Hang on producer with a clipboard goes,

they're gonna we're gonna break. Yeah, but we're gonna have you on right now. Yeah, all right, man, Kyle, the fuck is wrong with you. Fucking, you fucking asshole. But the show is actually on radio. You're on real radio. No, not at all. What is it?

Is it in? Why do you say it's radio then because it's called Hick hop radio and it's on it was on urban Latino radio that was so it was on radio No, it was on internet. Why do you say hip urban Latino radio? It's not radio. All right. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute You said that urban Latino radio you said that dark. I'll rewind the tapes Yeah, that's the name of stats. The name of the station.

Yeah, we're doing. Do hang on. We're recording our tape this way. Yeah, dude. I found out that tape was fucking better format. I I spread it. I spliced this show together. Guys hold on to tape.

Just went off the rails. We got Louis Louis Louis cats coming in, right? Louis Louis Louis. Louis Louis. I'm not a Louis cat. Go ahead with the fucking lie that you fucking. We got Louis Louis Louis cats coming in right Louis Louis Louis Go ahead with the fucking lie that you fucking it's recorded It's live on the internet right when you're station. We were almost called urban Latino radio station. It's not a station Well, it's a station it's an internet station. No, it's a fucking website the website you were on was called what and In it like it's, you fucking cocks it

because you guys really try to pull it off. Like we could go in the car and listen to you. I actually thought you were legitimate. You're not. You're just a shit gig like me, you cocks that guy. Hey man, image is everything. Yeah, I love that you guys are trying to, you literally got you, right?

Who, you look like a fucking militant black guy with the glasses, you look like. And then you get, you know, he looks like a Farrakhan after he went to Mecca, like he loves everybody. Well, I'm saying, well, that's pretty fucking. That's Malamex. Yeah. So, yeah, don't correct me with a fucking wrong, right? Gretchen. Yeah. White guy from fucking Colorado. He's a racist. I'm kidding. I'm particular.. I'm kidding. I'm a particular. And then they got Dustin, who's just a fucking redneck. I would love it if Dustin was from Connecticut, if it was just alive.

If it turned out, like, if he had the George W. Bush thing where he says he's a cowboy, but really he's from a fucking man. Yeah, the hat, the bell buckle, the fucking sweat bands. So when you're like, did you hear from fucking, yeah, something like Chicago. He's from Vermont, his mom's a hippie. She makes wood wood chimes. If you have wood wood chimes.

That's the guy that's serious history, man. What's his history? I have no idea. You don't even know where your co-host history is? Yeah, he's from Texas and his family. How long have you been black? His family's in the clan. His family really is in the clan his family really is

He really had nothing really nothing on that how long have I been black nothing really Yeah, most of my life look at Lewis I had a summer wet Yeah, it's real sweaty. I do you what? What's basketball season he was doing he was doing color wars at fucking Jewish camp He was doing he was doing color wars at fucking Jewish camp Lou you want a water and an napkin What do you want to sit the next to the black guy or next to the girl? Yeah, sit sit on the couch. It's alright. It's not a special drink

That's a nice tea we made from here. He wanted a nice tea. So we make it you you we we we have Whatever you want here. What's up Lou? Yeah, give him the headphones. This is, do you know Kyle Lou? Yeah, yeah sure. All right cool and pull that right down to your face. Eat that mic. He's a little feet when I put it. Look, Louie is so weak. He tried to adjust the microphone as he had to use his legs. Did you run pull the bar. And put that outside. Why, did you run here? What happened? That's just me walking. Really? I'm wearing as little clothes as possible

and it's still too hot for me. You hate the humanity. I just sit, I'd rather just sit, I just sit in my phone. Talk to the microphone. Don't talk to Dan. Talk to all of us listening. I just sit in my air conditioning apartment all day

until I have to go out at night, which is the advantage of being a comedian. So I'm not, I haven't been dealing with it. So wait a minute, you don't go out all day. You just stay home and then to go out at night, which is the advantage of being a comedian. So I'm not you I haven't been dealing with so you wait a minute you don't go out all day you just stay home and then you go out at night Yeah, I do this in winter too. I don't when it's shitty out. I just stay inside where I can control the temperature What the fuck is wrong with you? It's like a bubble boy. What is that? Yeah? What if you get a gig? What are you gonna do I go out at night? No like a a writing gig gig or an acting gig I've yet to get any of those okay is it is it one of those cross those bridge where you get to it yeah yeah well actually I

did the park gig on a Washington Square Park on two on a whatever day Sunday it killed me for the rest of the day man doing comedy at 2 p.m. in this weather you did comedy in the afternoon at 2 p.m. in the park. Who does that? The park did. They've been doing it for the last three or four or so. Who the fuck could do comedy outside in the afternoon? Surprisingly, it's not bad. Like I did it in Central Park. And like once the mic is on, it's quiet. It's like it's weird.

Really? Families are sitting on the lawn. It was like a little kid. You know, I used to see, you know, William Stevenson, right? Yeah. Well, around, I don't know, 10, maybe when I first came to New York, I was at Washington Square Park all of a sudden I saw him come out of nowhere and I was like, oh my God, I know who that is. And he came out, five gallon bucket, round up a crowd.

No, really? Listen to me, got a crowd and then fucking did this park act. It wasn't like, it was kind of stand up fucking catered to you know park what you know the main and he fucking annihilated and then loaded this five gallon bucket with ones and i was like mother fucker i mean he charlie barnette chalet barnette you see the same shit have you seen the the homeless guy that works the a-train? That's my father. That's my father.

And I refuse to talk about it. Kelly, we don't talk about him. No, I have it with me. I have problems. He's hilarious, though. He's like, please clean up. But take your newspapers with you as you go, because that guy company coming over later.

He's great. Yeah, it's real funny. It's all there. It's kind of funny, dude. I first thought, because that when I first, I lived in Bedstar when I first moved to New York, and he was always on the late night trains. At first I thought like he was yelling at me

and I was in trouble. But then I was like, I know he's telling jokes. I'm gonna give him a dollar. I respect that. He was funny, he was actually funny. He was funny, yeah. For a guy doing comedy on an A-train, at two in the morning, yeah, it's good.

You know, Vaughn used to go into Starbucks during the day, randomly go in and just do a five minute set. On the walkover, no, and I... Yeah, he would just walk into a Starbucks, do a five minute set, and then leave. That's awesome. Yeah, it was pretty good. You did one of the Dunk of Donuts for me.

They had a parking lot. Yeah, we had a tire company. We had a show that I was doing where I pull up, I get a U-Haul, and I drive around the country, and I do a talk show on the back of the U-Haul truck. And we have like a little set, like a cheesy set. And I'll go and I'll bring comics and bands. And I'll take him and we drove into a fucking Dunkin' Donuts parking lot.

And there was like 10 people and then he got out and I just introduced him with a microphone. He went out and he killed for five minutes on a grassy knoll in traffic. It was pretty cool. Yeah, it was pretty wild. You have to be cleaning on now. No, you can do whatever the fuck you want No, are you dirty? No, I say motherfucker a lot. Did I see you on a did I see you on a Christian Black comedy show on TV? No, you ain't see me on a Christian black Why do you have to say like is it terrible there? Is it then see you on a gay Three-cent point may have seen me on

What said that gay channel logo logo because that's a gay channel. Yeah logo. Yeah, it's a gay channel I love it. Why were you on it? Will you re-decorating? They've been replaying You know comedy central specials and he put mine on logo. That's cool Yeah, dude and comedy central specials and they put mine on logo. That's cool. Dude, I'll take the gay fans in a second. If there's any fan I would fucking take is gay fan. Oh my god, Lisa Lepanelli's crowd. They fucking show up, they're nice, they throw parties, they fucking laugh at everything.

Oh god, clean. I did a gay show in DC once. It was like a gender awareness show. And it was a little weird only because I didn't know if I was talking to a guy or a girl. That was cool. I'm getting hard just thinking about this. What just happened to me?

Maybe like three years, I did a bunch of gay shit. I played a gay dude on a rappel show. Then I was on a show called Straight Plan for Gay Man. What was your gay character? What was it like? I was a gay boxer. OK, so how did you talk? Nightcissa fights

Fuck you you see if you you know you can do it Let me reach down to my inner game put the beer down get him a margarita Here's your motivation What he can fight Cheetah I told you to fix this scale I get him a margarita Here's your motivation sweaty cap fight Cheetah I told you to fix this scale Broke what you look at that bitch with your ass. Yes It was you and was he wearing grip on Friday night

And I was last because Japan was in problem he goes to my left the tyrannical tea bag Mother's gonna see this Shit man You do look like you could be on Bravo on like a flip this kitchen show you know what I mean Bravo on like a flip this kitchen show, you know what I mean? Well you Happening in the year listen girl. We're gonna have to take this kitchen and We take initiative to fun Every fat white woman in middle of America wants a sassy gay black dude as a friend

True so they can go girlfriend There's nothing more annoying. It's seeing an older lady say girlfriend There's nothing more annoying. It's seeing an older lady say girlfriend. Oh, everybody. Everybody wants gay friend and a black friend and one. Yeah, two for him. Two for him. Yeah, two for him.

Yeah, like that guy from True Blood, the gay guy and that, everybody wants that motherfucker. I'm not in the True Blood. Hooker. That's what he calls out. Hooker, please. I just want to walk around and call women that hooker. I wouldn't be surprised if true blood at the end of it

if they did a twin peak ending, or it's all in the mind of a fat girl in Cincinnati fingers. I'm like, I'm like, I guess I'm gonna, I guess I'm gonna, I guess it's just gonna pan out. It's gonna be some chubby chick flicker being

having her be like, Abby, dinner is ready! Come in, Bob! And then in my fantasy, yeah, I think scared there were sheep sheep shifters and then there was vampires Flicketer bean is my new favorite It's a good show man, it's a fuck off. I'll defend true

I was suck a dick you manly asshole Yeah, okay, of course breaking bad is good every fucking dude. Of course. I know in the wire was fucking the shit Dude, let me show you down to the wires amazing, but let me ask you bloody shut your face Fuck off Fuck you, now fuck off. I'm gonna have to do this. I'm gonna have to do this. How many episodes of Breaking Bad do I have to watch before I get into it?

Why watch three episodes and I'm like, oh fuck you, you're not gonna get into it. It's white guy selling meth. What are you doing? You got the guy chained in a basement, listen. Listen, Kyle. Kyle, Kyle, fuck him and his middle of this country horse shit, Joe that he likes.

Watch the wire, that's for you. Oh, I don't believe it. What a wire from. Yeah, that's what it is. I thought you were gonna say, you're a true blood. I know. Fuck off, true blood's a fucking great shout. Watch the wire that's for you To blood fuck off true blood's a fucking great shout. It's a fucking great. Sookie It's a fucking it's titty and then it's just vampires. Oh, now there's shape shifters now. There's witches That's not true. That's not true. There's fucking there's a turn to do a pit bowl. Listen

There's a fight is a shape shifter and they have the boss of all the wolves That's right. Oh the pack leader and he will not bow down to the pack leader now you get now you make a mean not like it True blood is a fucking good way now I get I will give you this this year It's kind of jumping the shark because where else the fuck could you go? But the first couple of seasons were interesting because it was pretty much the way we live with gays and blacks and that's what a shapeshifter is. It's the black people and the gays

and the vampires and how we treat people as humans. We fucking, we segregate everybody. We don't like you if you're different It's the whole oh Fuck you and a fucking asshole school teacher that's fucking great man Face and death and he fucking decides to cook meth to give his family some money It's great you're an asshole Because you relate to that because that's what your family did

I'm just gonna say I picked up a lot of cooking tips from the show. Making that fucking... You want this fucking bandana? Yeah! Lou, this is the bandana and Kyle, if you throw a joke out and it bombs, you have to wrap that around your microphone. That's just to let everybody know

who the last fucking bomb came from, okay? Okay, we'll just stinks it up. I have worn it a lot. I love the fact that you gave that was just like you a serious So what show do you like out of all the three shows the wire the fucking his shit show? It's called breaking the all right breaking bad or true blood. I haven't watched any of the wire any of Any of break bad. I have watched true blood and it seems like a soap opera man It seems like really I can't well you know what this sucks about you is that you could have lied about true blood

Because you didn't see that one you didn't see this one you could have just thrown me that you didn't see it Sorry, listen it is a fucking really bad. It's no it's not bad. Go back to soap opera. It's a soap opera I'll give you that not giving'm not giving you bad. So popper equals bad to... No, you've never had mono and had to be in the hospital for two weeks. And all of a sudden almost fucking general hospital. All my children. I've logged a lot of all my children

in time with my nana. I got into that, yeah. It's a big fan. I got into that, I actually got into... I've been into soap operas twice in my life. Daytime soap opera, twice in my life. Once I got mono and I just got into the fucking story arc. That was mono.

Mono is when you, it's like, You guys probably call it sleeping disease. Kissing disease. Oh, glandular favor. Glandular favor. If you want to hit her, go ahead. You're a good one. Before you do it, can you take the vagimite out

and squirt it in her face? You're a drug vagimite? No, it's like dust, right? No. It just blows in the wind. I wish before you do it can you take the Vegemite out and squirt it in her face Right no Just blazing the wind yeah, try it's actually pretty good try a little piece Give Kyle some to It's good. It's good. It's really like it's what they put on their toast Why is it coming to tube like because they put it on their toast with butter and stuff Just put it you're gonna just taste it. You're gonna taste it It tastes like the flavor in a ramen packet, but it's gooey and just gross The it's a travel tube.

Kelly's country stinks. You like it? Kelly for room. Yeah, I'll show you. Oh God, she's going to eat it. It's going to be like, oh, it's fucking shoots the whole thing. It makes me sick. It's like watching my wife go astamount.

What does this made of? What? What I said? Wow. I didn't say that. Astamount. Astamount. Nice. Astamount. Astamount. Astamount. I didn't say that. Yes! Ah! Nice! Extra.

As to ask, it's actually more sanitary than as to melt. Yeah. That's true, because you're just mixing shit particles. Pretty brutal in my brain. It's like a flavin'. That's the only thing I've ever... Is there really... Now the shit is not in the ass hole.

It was the shit there we at! Oh! No! No! No! So anyways, so anyways, but but but but so anyways you i think i think breaking notes a good show that just came on uh... long wire that sounds made out now i swear to god long wire to it it's about uh...

a sheriff in uh... why only who had a fucking problem they keep flashing back to some bad shit that he did but we don't know what he did yet but it's kind of like a western a modern western like a no-country for old men and he's just a fucking straight up man man you know sheriff uh... then there's the younger guy sheriff that wants to become the sheriff is trying to take his job then he's got this really hot uh... deputy this broad uh... from battle star galacticica the the one who played the blonde chick and Battlestar Galactar. She played No, that's a robot. Oh, no remember that. Oh, okay

So yeah, it's a really good show But you know what I love fucking cheese man. I love USA Network. I love suits. Can we start doing the Soap opera talk where my back has turned to you, but we still have a conversation So pop rangle were there like behind him like hello Bobby They talk over their shoulder. What are you doing here? I came here for you. I got to do with Kelly This is better when it's a guy in a girl. Go ahead. Go ahead. We're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're back. We pick up this episode of at the table. Daniel.

Well, not done yet. Wait. You fucking over actor. I'm sorry, it's my today. I'm hurt. I got him about what Spanish soap operas? Hang on, what's that? Go ahead.

You got silence. No, we don't. Go ahead, go. Is the baby mine? Danny, I thought you were dead. I've never been dead. You've been. I've been simply watching. You've been dead in my heart.

Your mother's been asking for you, but she's now a man. I've been making love to your twin sister. What is going on here? We're father. Why are you with my wife, son? I love to hear your twin sister. What is going on here? A father. Why are you with my wife, son? Ah, she's my wife now, too. Well, meet my lover, Black Kyle.

That's a very odd name considering he is Black. Kyle. Joyceoy Domini-Gano. This really just turned into a shitty episode of this line. Is it any of you? Meet my accountant. This really just came it into a shitty episode of Islam is it any meat my accountant? It really just came a fucked up move behind us in any way. Yes, look at you.

Yeah. I have a world war. I just watched this documentary last night. We're talking about TV shows. But I watch this documentary that's fucking awesome. It's called Knuckle. I've seen it already. How awesome is it? It wasn't as good as I thought it documentary that's awesome. I'm so called knuckle. I've seen it already. How awesome is it?

It wasn't as good as I thought it was going to be. It was actually cool. It's about the gypsies. Explain what it is. I'll explain what it is. It's about the gypsies in England. I believe Ireland. Ireland and they fight. They just do bare knuckle fighting. It wasn't about three families that have

a rivalry that goes back about 20 years. Right. And they fight. And the bear knuckle fight but here's the thing though is that they did they fought but it was it sounds awesome but it's not as awesome as it should have been yeah like where's the gay vampire right well that would have been great but here's the thing I don't think you're looking don't fight to look at guy if I'm player when you went to island did you say me hang on one second what did you just say? He's already got the bend down over Yeah, you just can count what they have like that anywhere. I saw the gypsies when I was in island We were passing through the car events and stuff and like I'm the tool God. I was with you was like

Stay away from the gypsies turn that down to a low over there cuz I gotta pick it up I was a little offended by that when I went to Europe because I was like they tell you to stay with from gypsies and it made me feel a little like Why is out of Niggas of Europe? No, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, don't ever ever say gypsies on this Like that All right, Jesus Christ Everybody I should never do no steal though, right Kyle is black before I get letters Everybody I just need everybody to know. He's still though, right?

Kyle is black before I get letters. Oh, really? He can say that. He can say that. We can whisper it and think it. He can say it. See that, boy. When Katz was walking up the third flat of stairs, he was thinking it in his head.

God damn. Listen, I think Gypsy is very dangerous man. They have in New York City. They have all over. There's a new show on TV about the gypsies in America. Oh, there are. Come on gypsies. Oh, well.

Here's the thing too is the ones in Ireland that there's a show my gypsy wedding. If you want, if you want to see some fucking creepy shit, watch the show. I saw that. Some of those girls are hot. They're really smoking hot these broads, but they have these rituals that they do with the dresses and the actual ceremony. Their dresses they have to be like the biggest and best and they put crystals and these big fucking Cinderella dresses.

They have to like be pushed into the limousine and like lie on the floor because of the dress. So they're gypsy bridesills? Dude, it's yeah, but it's worse. It's fucking way. And then they go when they buy their little caravan, their little fucking trailer on wheels. And it's the nicest one and they pick it out and all that shit. But are they really hustlers in Europe? Do you really have to watch out for them?

Yeah, yeah. In Italy, they're really bad too. You'll get on a train and this woman will just give you her baby. And then while, and she's like, hold the baby, hold the baby. And you're like, uh, what? And while she's doing that, there's like people just going,

baby, in your pocket. I know so many people that have been saying. Why are you actually, let me ask you honestly, God, if someone handed you a baby and they started pick, but you dropped the baby. I dropped the baby. It's not wait. It's a white baby. What did you say you drop the baby. I dropped the baby. It's not wait. It's a white baby.

What did you say you dropped the baby? Yeah, one time I was holding my little nephew and he was a kid and my mother started hitting me. Your mother started pickpawing and you. Hold this baby. Give it out. Wallet. I started hitting you with a hair brush.

Why? Because I did something wrong. And she started whacking me on the head with a hair brush. Why was she walking you with a hairbrush? I did something. Why were you using a hairbrush? That was a kid, but I had a hairbrush. We were smashed, but his shit hair. His hair that you can actually just spray on.

Nothing to walk, giving the baby. Take that back to the trifle owner. I'll own that. My subtle gypsies once at a rest area, I think in Austria and they they got in a Mercedes They were begging for change. I told them to beat it They all yelled the kids yelled at me. Then they got in a Mercedes and pulled off Jesus And I'm looking Dan. I'm looking up gypsies. Please take the show over

Everybody everybody Dan is taking the show over Dan Dan were back God Dan is taking the show over. Dan. Hey, Dan. It's like God. Dan, we're back. Oh, God. Gypsies are the topic. You know, they think they're from, actually, from India? That's where they're from.

They study their language. They're actually Indians who travel up into Europe. And then become doctors in America? No. I want you to know that I'm not going to tip you. And I'm going to take your wallet as you hold my baby The show that's coming on it's on National Geographic Channel and it's called American Gypsies It's a new one. It looks a little produced. This is the one thing that I'm finding out about all these shows

I like I like the travel channel shows. I love the National Geographic's Discovery But now what they're doing is they're fucking way over producing them to the fact that where you can see it's fake. Like there's a show called the Turtle Man into the wild. It's set up premises. Well, here's the thing. This guy in Kentucky, he's the Turtle Man and he's a fucking lunatic. He lives in the woods. He lives in the woods. He lives in the woods. He lives in the woods. He lives in the woods.

And he fucking goes into ponds and lakes and takes out turtles and snapping turtles. But he gets paid and like a couple of things to corn or maybe a fucking deer antler or maybe some tomatoes. Seriously, he gets paid. He's bartering. I'm not even kidding.

He has a friend who's his manager. They've neither one of them have front teeth. He's got a manager. He's got a manager. I wrecked my fence. Nobody else but the turtle man. I can bring you three turtles. I just like the fact that he has no front teeth.

So he just has the list. Oh, hello. My name is Edgar Esquire. He's a hard-ropper. He's a really fancy name for the Tiddle-Earthquire. I don't know. Tiddle-Earthquire? Let me see if I can bring it up.

Yeah, this is him. Hang on, let me. I hope there's some comedians without representation knowing that the turtle man has So who are your other clients Hang on Grizzly man Yeah, right did you see the video where there's a video when he was getting attacked him and his girlfriend Get it now. Where's the video? Oh, they have the video. They don't have the video. You can't get the video here You can hear it. Yeah, it's the movie, but they were playing the audio He's like they won't destroy this. Yeah, they didn't play the video they don't have the video you can't get the video here. You can hear it Yeah, it's the movie, but they were playing the audio

He's like they won't destroy this. Yeah, they didn't play the video He says what her talk remember it's her so you're talking about her talk movie right now. No, we're talking about grizzly Man, I thought you show my that grizzly Movie no, we're talking with the guy with the bear I'm talking the documentary. That's the dark Mary the guy that goes up there and lives with the bears I want to get hang on one second hang on stop stop stop stop is that loud? Everybody just fucking immediately went yeah, that's fucking hang on we're talking about the guy that went up there and live with him That loud

I got blood coming out of my ears I got blood coming out of my ears So loud I'm sorry I did I did I did I did I did I did I did I did I did I fucked up hang on I don't know how to turn it down I go ahead. I'm sorry. Go ahead talk But you're talking about the one where the dude gets eaten by the bear? Yeah, yeah, where's that cool? And he he she okay Here he is That's him What's his job just to catch turtles?

Yeah, that's him I'm not a fan of the thing. I'm not a fan of the thing. I'm not a fan of the thing. I'm not a fan of the thing. I'm not a fan of the thing. I'm not a fan of the thing. I'm not a fan of the thing. I'm not a fan of the thing. I'm not a fan of the thing. I'm not a fan of the thing.

I'm not a fan of the thing. I'm not a fan of the thing. I'm not a fan of the thing. I'm not a fan of the thing. I'm not a fan of the thing. myself some turtle my sister blue turtle man We met him actually gave him an ear record and he gave her a baby turtle Then she set them all Well, he always likes celebrity She loves Celebrities he he he fucked and he his thing is he fucked and he his thing is yeah you will

action that's what he does but then he flexes his bicep but he doesn't have one he just has uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... feather tattoo uh... he's saving the turtles what's he doing with the turtles? yeah he goes in and gets the snap of turtles but he has this thing he does

where he does this on the lake like this he points his hand out and he looks but he's just looking for bubbles And I guess this help But it's my point is this is that that show when it first came out was just Fucking raw you could see that this guy was just going in and grabbing a raccoon by hand out of a house I'll be famous you want to do pick that up. I'll pick it up I get some tomatoes. Yeah, one of them was a... One of them was a scunk. He just went in and fucking grabbed a scunk and it pissed all off.

It pissed all off. I'm actually... Pissed. Smells worse than my second cousin's pussy. He smells worse than my second cousin's pussy! So, he goes in, he grabs the fucking thing, throws it in a sack, and then he goes home, and he has no running water. Oh. He has no electricity, but they gave him potato, so he cut the potatoes up and put it in

with some fucking tomato water, and he sits in a barrel barrel and he just cleans up in a barrel It's it's but the second season way overproduce like he has a whole crew of people now They're trying to really trying to push the fucking live action shit for the t-shirts Oh really? And yeah, and like okay one of them this is one of them They found a bowler's stricter someone's pet got out in the house. It's a bowler constrictor Okay, we know what they are and you can take them out and play with them because they don't they'll constrictor someone's pet got out in the house. It's a boa constrictor, okay? We know what they are, and you can take them out and play with them, because they don't constrict. They're not fighters.

There's like one form of boa that will, they're aggressive, right? But if you feed them, they're not gonna really do anything to you. And then he was under the bed, and he went under the bed, and he's grabbing, you can see him wrapping the snake around his own neck, trying, like, it's a, it's a attack, a mural, a like, it's a takin' mural,

Earl, what's around my neck? Is Earl the manager? I think, I think it's Earl. I just love, it just pans over. It's just a fucking dude, no shirt and jean shorts with a blackberry. Yeah, no, yeah. No, it's canceled the meeting, Turtle Man.

I guess they're not gonna pick up the Sunday morning cartoon. He, he, he. It's kind of a good angle though, it's just him, like, once he gets famous, like Turtle Man, like, Rich, like, living it up. There he is. Turtle Man is Turtle Dream. Turtle Man, is where he's said he's been?

Turtle Man won. Yeah. Well, here's the thing is that he's, he's a legitimate guy that does this. People call him in to do this. He lives very sparse. He has nothing at his house. He doesn't have any amenities.

He's practically no overhead. But he has this, and he has big, Bessie, I think his knife is called Bessie He has nothing at his house. He doesn't have any amenities. He's practically no overhead, but he has this and he has big Bessie. I think his knife is called Bessie that's on his side because he lost his teeth And he carries Bessie this big knife because one time he was using a chainsaw on a tree And he failed on the chainsaw fill his head and went in his scale and his face and he had to use Bessie to Proud the fucking change. Oh, he's sweet. That goes out. That's really good.

Dude, that'd be so funny if you're trying to complain. You're like, I just have this in Grompton now that will not stop. One time I was cutting out a tree, fucking change, I'll be right in the face. Heeey love action. I mean, I didn't stop. I just took my knife out and pride it right off. Hey, he did. Oh. I just took my knife out and pried it right off.

Hey, he did. Oh, I like the first season. They're like, he's bathing himself in tomato and potato juice. I mean, like, all the people filming it are just in their nice trailers outside, having catered meals. Yeah. You know, taking showers with water. You guys want crafts services to bring you anything?

I just find out that a lot of the poncho people and the you know the To show was kind of fake to show poncho and the the one with the true The storage units Storage wars storage wars fucking fake a lot of shit. Oh produced they get people because they can do it Yeah, they can probably do a first season with these guys But then all of a sudden these guys become characters people like certain guys better And then they stop you're gonna then they stop, you're gonna be the funny one, you're gonna be the asshole, you're gonna, and they start making

shit up, and you look it, you're not gonna find... You're not gonna find... Yeah, I mean, you don't find that much crazy shit in a fucking store, you know, most of it, the people that don't pay for it, if there's really good shit in there, they're gonna go get the fucking money to get it the fuck out. What, one month? It's $187, and you have $5 million worth of gold to blooms in there. And you're gonna leave them some bald fat fuck like me to find them.

For fucking 80 bucks, go fuck yourself. First pressing of the King James Bible. Yeah, it's old fashioned there. Yeah, the last Sanskrit scrolls. I just love the fact that the industry right now is like, let's go find a piece of shit that does something weird. Well, here it is. I tried to do a thing in my act about it.

You tried to be in the Turtle Man first? No, no, no. I tried to do a joke. I was like, it totally bombed three nights in a row. I was like, you know, it's always going to bomb when you go pretty soon when you try to teach people something You can't go right from a good dick joke. See, let me tell you something about society Or if you mid-sense you go no, but no, but yeah, I went I said pretty serious. He's gonna be a show where people go is in the room Hey, we're in the room. What's that over there?

Oh my God. Commercial and then they cut back. It's just a vacuum cleaner. And that's all they do. Every show is like, what the fuck? And they even do it on this show with the guys like, oh my God, and you cut back. And it's just everything's fine.

Everything's fine. Nothing at bad ever happened. Just a log in a swamp. Now, nothing at bad ever happens on any of these shows. Oh, that's what they said about Kroget O'Hunter and Dilly. Did we ever see that? That's what episode. bad ever happened to log in a swamp now it nothing bad ever happens on any of these shows to the center of our crocodile hunter and did we ever see that exactly had a footage that they didn't release it

i would you say also yeah you need to see him get killed Kelly was that your Kelly was that your nine eleven with Steve Irwin died was really sad really impressed it? Yeah, it was devastating when it happened. Look, I think that he was one of the...

He was kids like a little kids and stuff. Oh, fuck kids. I was an asshole. Sorry about your country, but that guy was an asshole. Why? Because he was an asshole. Really? Are you kidding me? He was an asshole. He poked them.

Wow, it's true. Did he say something? Did he say something? Did he say something? Did he say something? Did you say you never got bullied someone God Bullies, Lou, do you like anything you can get out fucking gypsy? Did you say you never got I Yeah, you hate true blood You get like a real funeral He got like he got a huge like televised all the stations princess down the wiggles played did every crooked Are you serious the wiggles the fucking kid Wiggles

Oh, I want to meet one of those guys. Oh, that would be just How to make up and just go do it. How do you feel about yourself? I do like yourself. Yeah, remember when you went to Berkeley for guitar? Yeah, you used to listen to white snake. They're the highest grossing out in Israel. I don't give a fuck. They know what they signed a deal with the devil like god Two remember that remember that guy. I want to be a rock star. You had exactly the same thing I hope it's the same ending too. They fucking die on pills. Whoa. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I go off first off

I apologize. I like everything that the Wiggles do. Yeah corporate day and everybody like everything that the Wiggles do. You have corporate Dan, everybody. Anything, anything. It's corporate Dan. To be a Wiggles supporter, I am here. Dan will never ever go against anybody. He always stays on both sides. You will put on that total neck if they need him to,

aren't you? I wish I knew who the Wiggles were. You don't, you don't. So black, the film ask you question. Is there a black cartoon out there or a black child? Star or something that they that you know Like it was Barney and all that shit for white kids is ours that or is that just black kids still? Specifically like

The Cosby kids were cool for my era, you know, right? Yeah, yeah, it caused me kids Okay, that must have been fucking great. Primetime TV, Cosby's everybody's watching. The Cosby show, the original with the band, and they always taught you lessons and don't be scared of the hospital. Don't be afraid all the songs they were singing, shit, the brown horned. What song was that again? Don't be, it was a hospital. I want to hear it. Don't be scared of the hospital. Yeah. You're right. You'll get ice cream. Right? I know you've been thinking about it. Now I'm right. But now I'm trying to let you know there's like a sexy break down in a child. So my Girl I'm gonna wait for you. I like did he says hospital really cool the hospital

Here borrow anything you got that's way different than our child what Shoot a lamp a three-, stamp or a coffee pot. He don't care what beggin' been it. We're glad that our men like you. So you guys had homeless people. That's what you're gonna say. That's what you're gonna say. That's what you're gonna say. It was the teach kids not the big man

That day Bag and Benny Man nobody wants to be a big and Benny Let's start using that Be a bag and bunny. Fuck you. Yeah. All right, you got a point. What did you have as a kid? If you ever say you're rude and go the other way,

if you ever say you're rude and go the other way, unless you're fat Kelly, you can eat it. Yeah. Unless you're fat Kelly, you can eat it. Gwolo calls the realy head when you put the Gwala claws in your back. You can't, these slaves are feeding. I was at a real store, that was a real store. I was like, I'm going, you run out of air.

Gwala! Gwala! Oh, Gwala. She pitched that to Australia too. Oh, man. So, what do you, I mean, too, is you guys have American kid stuff for for you? Did you have your own? No, we had American stuff. So you had nothing that you had no regional programming?

We had our camp in kangaroo. No, we had we had hey hey Saturday Australia. No, he's a man. We had hey hey, it's Saturday and I had a thing called fat cat on it and And one of the best footage ever created I think today was working on my fucking computer I bring it up. But the big fat cat guy, so the guy dressed up in a big fat suit with a cat and he gets beaten the shit out of by boxing kangaroo. And he's one of the funniest things ever seen.

You guys really, I'm not, you know, like, you just nailed it. That's the way. Because he was like joking around. He's like this big cat joking around. And it's live TV, a children's TV show. Hey, it's me, my famous fan. I'm in a photo room.

Yeah, I'm so sorry In the room He gets on his back I get to his back tail and just puts the bottom feed up And it's been the shadow Oh shit the guy's gonna die and that's what you watch as a kid? Yeah, I want to find it and show you guys. That's like, what the fuck are you doing? I was looking at the time. Well, you don't have a watch?

I own my cell phone. Hey, is the AC going on and off? I'm on my phone on. It's still off. I turned it down. You turned it down or off? Turn it down. It's fucking hot in here, guys.

It's really hot. Yeah, turn it on. Turn the AC on, brother. Thanks. Is he going to go to Box Cave Roo's in Australia? Yeah, you can fight him. Dude, you can actually fight him in Cleveland. Really? Turn it on turn the AC on brother. Thanks Yeah, you can fight them do you can actually fight them in Cleveland really yeah in Cleveland There's a kangaroo boxing ring no way swear to God in Cleveland. No, I'm kidding I thought if you see the name of the state Me

It's awesome. It's you gotta have it rare and it's gonna be marinated, but it's really high in iron. It's gaming. It's like gaming. Okay. Weave. Not that I do it all the time. I look at a fucking kangaroo, my parents back yard. I just fucking put a dagging off in my mouth.

Come on boys. That's great. Like I don't. Killy, where you going? I taught him to get some roomie. I can't eat it. She doesn't even have a knife though in her teeth. She just goes on bite to time.

I just, I thought it was poker with a hot spirit. She runs and grabs it by the neck and kills it just crushes its trachea. Strang brown eyes just go deadless. Dude, is it him? I found a Joey in its patch. Dude, do people fuck kangaroos? We afro? Well, I know because we fuck sheep. I'm Irish animal. Yeah, I'm not a fire slave. I'm a fire slave.

Wait a minute, stop, stop. What did you say? It's not a fuckable animal. How do you know? Right. Any animal that you can box and they might win should not try and fuck. What are your core, the new tails in the world?

So I'm saying, so your theory is this, if you need to be able to rape it. Yeah. Without it fighting back. I like his, I like his no nonsense answer. Yeah. Of course, Bobby. Bobby like his no nonsense answer. Yeah, of course, Bobby. Bobby, first step of fucking animals is you have to dominate. Yeah, strong kangaroos, though.

Like if you hit a car while you drive into the kangaroo, the car's gone. The stretch of culling is just... Give me the strength of a rube! Beopie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie-opie- the bill bill bill bill bill ruse right out from the city to see one like forty five minutes yeah they're all over the place

like fucking pigeons they're like the like the like the like beautiful and what's happened hang on what's happening ton of killer What's happened? Just running fan right now. Hang on one second. What's happening? Hang on one second. Tonicular. We had a fixed AC problem there for a second.

And we're back. Now can you fucking kangaroo? It's that kind of thing. It's too strong for you. Oh, sorry. Yeah, we already can. But if you did, would it be the best set to be? What is it?

They got some massive shlo. They're big, big roots in. They like don't like... What does it look? What kind of dick does it look like though? Is it like, this is what bugged me about anime. Certain dance mode doesn't look like a dick. It's just a big red slimy thing. I found a website while doing research.

I'm sure you're right. I'm sure you're right. Hang on, hang on, let us laugh, cats. Let us laugh. He knew it as he was saying it. He's like, oh, I'm shooting on. We made him sing the hospital song and do his gay character.

We wanna laugh at you and your fetishes. All right, what is it? That's where this isn't a fetish. There's a website that makes a realistic animal dick shaped dildos that you can see. Really? It's real weird. And then they have fantasy animal dicks.

Fantasy animal dick, like what? Like riffin, this is a riffin's dick. And you don't know what a riffing this is a griffin's dick and you know what a griffin I got half a half lion half-eat-wing something so winged lion. Oh, it doesn't exist doesn't exist It's crazy. So you can fuck a dinosaur if you wanted to they got a dyno dick They prop they will make one to order if you say look I want Wow, I thought it was embarrassing like going in and buying like condoms over the can imagine going to Nega yeah can I have a Lodge kangaroos vagina yeah excuse me you want hair on that we can't keep our see you guys have any I mean I'm looking for a yeti con with the balls

all right now this is the hair extra I'm gonna take a stab in the dark but but do you have any horse pus? I'm not looking for like a stallion horse pus. Like, I don't like they'll wear the tail. Yeah. Who doesn't do the automatic tail? Is there any way that you guys can allow me to, I'd like to fuck a unicorn. And if they do, they have a unicorn.

They have a unicorn dick. That's funny. But the one thing they did have on there, you unicorn have a unicorn dick. That's funny But the one thing they did have on there you're speaking of the tale. This is I'm honest I don't need a dog dildo or anything like that, but they got these Lou it's like why would you just say that if not only to yourself and to the your Lord? Look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, It's just a it's like a like a butt plug but with like a fox tail coming out of me. I think of a great had that I think that'd be pretty hot. I think that'd be real hot like this or wait over. Yeah. Yeah. I turn around and turn around and you research. What were you researching? I don't know. He was researching how to how to fuck it he was researching how to fuck a center

Funny like honey about something from the store Stanker and I don't like I don't even like halfway through we knew it was coming to the hearts. I don't like your little thing at the end like He's I am I I really like and this is one of my fetishes. I like girls with long hair. I used to date I used to date a girl with long hair and she when they lean back and tickle their ass with their hair I do like that. That's passion Bobby. That's fine.

That is pushing the soap. She had a fox tail butt pluggied. I want to do. I want to do a rabbit head. That's your butt. Well, you would you would you would you would. Passion Bobby's gonna Asian. Passion Bobby.

I want you to slowly remove your hair down to your ass Say no with your head That's like it hot Kyle Kyle what's the what's the weirdest thing you've ever done? Kyle Kyle what's the what's the weirdest thing you've ever done? Sexy yeah That's you damn haven't done much. Yeah, you really cuz you've been married, right? No I've been with my girl for 13 years. That's a fucking weird You just have regular straight up

Every the way says it is so cool. Look ass maybe way says it is so cool. Look at us, maybe. Really, that's the weirdest thing you've ever done. I'm not wearing a train on the chick, but I was young. You ran it on her? That's what we call it running the train. I know, I know. We call it. But yeah, that was it. You didn't like that, did you? When I was at age, I did. You did. You're like, oh, man, this poor girl. I got my dick sucking a back of path mark once That was cool in the back of pack waiting the milk or the fucking rose in the back of bad dumpster Born behind an auto zone

The real thing I got sucked off my Dodge Stratus for the morning I'm a Dodge Stratus for the morning. I'm a Honda Auto Zone. I'll tell you right now, Wal-Mart's, food stores, targets, great places to get you Dixocked around late at night because you can go on the back and it's usually that one road. You can see the cops coming from a mile away. If you park down the end of it and you can kind of sneak

in, get you Dixock, you see the headlights come in, take your dick, and then what are they gonna do? Pull up on with my check. All right, get the fuck out. We're talking. Yeah, we're talking. We're talking, and that's why she's a mouthful of gizz. What's your name?

Who's trying to gut it down right now? She's off. Oh God. Oh God. I'm sorry, Officer. Well, the evidence is. Late lunch. Yeah.

God. Those are hairs all fucked up. You have a gizz in a girl's hair. And it, oh, and it coagulates. It's like, it's not the first, you know, the clear gizz. It's the fucking chunky. And then it attaches itself and does that fucking shit. And it just looks like it's a bird was trying to make a

De- like a nest and you it chicks hair, you know just just pitting their saliva into fucking little what what are you Handing me in the middle of my Should let me go I could have got the bandana on that one A whole bunch of bandana I say To call that long long winded would be under the main thing I go if it was fucking cats was laughing at a couple of things. I like it. It kept going. We're 45 minutes in. Do you have to go? What time are you gonna leave?

I'll leave it 315. Oh, is that the 345? 315. It's fucking. Yeah, I'll leave it in like like it's 344. 34. I'll leave it 3. Oh, All right, because you got to go and do something. Yeah, to do what? We're gonna have a little meeting and something. You know, Yeah, what? We're doing our sketches, so we have to meet and you know, you know, the doing sketches. Are you filming the sketches? Yeah, it's a pitch meeting. It's a pitch meeting for a company. For some of the little project we're working on with Steven Spielberg's type shit. Steven Spielberg, you're a fucking plot.

First of all, if you are meeting with Steven Spielberg, you're not going to be on my podcast first. I'm not the lead into a fucking Spielberg meeting. Bobby, Bobby, I've had a good time right now. Real quick though, I got a meeting with Old Roberts and Meckis. Wait a minute You're doing you're doing smooth Kyle grooms. You got to add some fucking smooth to it He sounds like a young blues player. Yeah, he does 30 years from now You know, I'm out of front of mine from Chicago

Yeah, now I'm just gonna meet with us group. We're putting together. Let me just sum up what you're doing I'll tell you what you're doing you're going to meet with your pal who's trying to fucking They're gonna do a sketch group. They came up with it. You guys wrote some sketches You're probably gonna film today just film them and then watch them and see what you did wrong or write what you like Take notes and you're gonna try to get something off up there for as a show and then try to pitch it to somebody or Actually send it to some show that might be coming out. But what really is going to happen, you're going to go up there, you guys just fucking scared and lonely like the rest of us, trying to come up with something to fill your day so you're not just home fucking playing video games looking at a wall.

And you know, you could say, hey honey, what'd you do today? Well, we did. And nothing's gonna happen. Stay here, stay here and talk to the people. Okay? No one's the man. What do you think, your man? Yeah, what the fuck are you? The Wayne's brothers? Yo man, I'm thinking of doing a skits thing. What do you think about it, Damon?

Kyle, my wish you're nothing but six years. Oh fuck it. Damn it, can you back me once in your life? That you're pursuing something Could you just back the guy who fucking back you Dan soda? I appreciate that Robert. Oh god. You make me sick. This is what makes me sick about you too Women women who listen to the show Love Fucking soda It is women women who listen to the show love Fucking soda the only thing I can hold for

Louis and Kyle he either goes he goes fucking Complete like bald over night You know what I mean? Not my kind of ball the old kind of ball your dad ball my dad was bald But it's your maternal Sausage your mom's dad pull head hair when he died. Oh, this hair stand. I can tell Okay, okay, that's one thing I can hope for or I can hope for this Or I can hope for this you get fat as fuck. I'm starting to act gonna happen the seams are starting to bust off I hope you become a

Moose The seams are starting to bust off. I hope you become a moose. A fucking moose. That's perfect. Where'd you use? Hey guys, welcome back to Dan Chodders. You're fucking so fat it gives you a list. Yeah, you can't even wait in your tongue. No, but it's my cheeks are writing into my teeth. So you guys, obviously, hey, what's up everybody?

You're Dan Chodders. You can't do any of your impressions anymore because your cheeks are too fat. Oh, I'm a winded. Hi, judges. Women fucking love this guy, man. I had a girl come up to me, Danny from ONA, his chick, in front of Danny, walked up to me and says, I'm in love with Dan Soda. He is so gorgeous.

I love Dan Soda. And I'm like, I'm like, what the fuck? I went out with, I'm going out with this girl that thinks that's a big fan of you too. This is fucked up. Now I'm thinking about it. I'm putting it all together. Let's see how we can tell him anything she thinks.

He get laid a lot. Already got a very big head. Both shut up. He's really got a big head. How do you know he's got a big head? I've never seen him have a big head. Look at him. Physically.

Those eyebrows are going up and down like a muppet that's what he does exactly. Have you gotten podcast? Don't fucking live motherfucker. We don't lie on the show. I'll you right now Late off the show, okay, so there's a ton of chicks to fuck them on a bang-down But you see your face. There's always you know, they we have photos and See the guy with the fucking five o'clock fucking shadow fill hit me fill fill hit me Back to me Fill back to me Go back to me. Bobby's married.

Wait, wait, wait. Fill him back to me. Hold on, fill, hit me. Oh my god. Fill. I hate you both. I hate you both so much now. You just.

Fill, hit me. Oh my god. Fill him back to me. Dumb face. Both of you. Yeah, I hate you both. And this is when everyone stops listening. Yeah, I like to stick around.

I like to stick around. I like to stick around with you. Something of a good on my meat. I like it, I like it, I like it. I think I'm a good at my meeting. I think your meeting is a good idea. All right, we're gonna take a quick break. We're gonna do a little sponsor's, we're gonna fuck and plug everybody's shit. Kyle, plug your stuff right now before you leave

because you're not coming back after the break. No, but I don't want to first say thank you guys for having me here. Yeah, thank you. It was fun, man. And I'm chill. Don't be afraid of the hospital. I'll be at Leavitt Live, August 4th in West

Niax. Is that bit the Lucille ball comedy festival? August 13th? No, I fucked that up. You can read it. Go to the Cowgrooms dot. What is it? Cowgrooms. You didn't get dot com. There's another. Cowgrooms. Oh, and some jackass and oh, hi. What does he do real estate agent?

He's done nothing with the guy. I'm Kyle group. He's standing there with a flannel shirt on and a band down. Go to Kyle grooms dot.com. I'm white dude with a fucking holding a beer. I want to kick him in his ass because he looked like he's mocking me in the fuck. That's funny. That really is great. He's got Kyle in the fuck. That's funny.

That really is great. He's got cow grooms. Go to .com. Oh my god. Oh, you're real estate needs. This makes me so. Where's he from? Where's he out of?

I'm guessing that. Columbus. Columbus. I was going to go accurate. I was going to go accurate. Just put it in your bar up there. Just put cow grooms.com. Yeah, there it is.

In my bar feed the whatever Is it coming up Oh my Wanted dead are alive. I'm an independent film video maker Just like the project the guy I'm going to meet with Starting my career high school I created a script and made a video with the help of some friends I

had to imagine he's had that site for the last five or six years murder that dude shit dude and shitty hate she malformed that to you just made it on a word page, and then just fucking yeah. Just a really bad dream we were. Oh, did you and the fucking old KyleGrooms.com and KyleGrooms.net are doing the same thing. You're at the same point you're career.

That just sucks dude. That just blows. All right, go to KyleGrooms.net and.com if you want to and compare the two and Let us know which one you like better and that's who'll be on the show next time We might have the white guy that just like a gangster got to be great if you have for through the podcast He was like I gotta go All right, what else you got your radio show? Yeah, hip hop radio go to hiphopradio.com or we're also available on iTunes

Potomatic, you know me and the Ruh that's about it and the Ruh and the Ruh Oh the fuck does that sound cool? How do you make everything sound cool? You just fucked up the English language and it sounded sexy and the Ruh and the Ruh and the road, and the road. And the road, the mother of our life. Be afraid of the hospital. That's the hospital, don't be afraid of the hospital. Of the hospital, you'll get ice cream. Ooh, ice cream, ice cream. Ice cream.

Don't wanna leave that shit. Big and big. Hey, Barbara, anything you got. I hope this is one of your skits. All right, we'll be back in a second. All right, we're back on. We're back. All right, we're going to do a little promo here

for, and we're doing this at a minute and three, an hour and three minutes and 51 seconds in. We want to thank our sponsors, unofficial and Official. Make sure, if you guys are buying anything off the internet go to Amazon Amazon has everything you want to support the show Here's a way to do it If you're gonna buy something go to Robert Kelly Page on a riot cast which is riot cast.com slash Robert Kelly go to the you know what dude page on riot cast Hit the big fat Amazon button to the right where it

says Amazon click there and make your purchases from there. If you're buying anything on Amazon, if you do that, you'll be donating to the show. You'll be helping us by helping yourself by helping Amazon. It's a win, win, win proposition. So make sure you do that. Go to riotcast. calm slash Robert Kelly and Hit the Amazon button when you're gonna buy anything on the internet help support the show and and help support Amazon

And also game fly dot com if you're a gamer like myself max pain three which I fucking played Dude you didn't go to the party last low had yet because i was on an hour of sleep what fuck you do you should have went uh... first of all he hooked us up with the swag bag of the fucking century and i'm gonna say that again because i like it swag bag of the century he t-shirts and then he gave me this fucking uh... a figurine of max pain

uh... then it comes with uh... uh... max Then it comes with a Max Payne game, comes with a keychain bullet, but it's a real bullet. That's pretty good. That you can unscrew and put cocaine in. Yeah. You know what I mean? And then it was unbelievable.

But the party was great. We played Max Payne and guess who won? You did. Guess who won. You did. Bobby did. Bobby Bean Kelly Kelly fucking kid Fuck you don't three seconds left. I fucking took the game. It's on the intram net if you want to find it

Rockstar video games it was a blast Anthony Kumi was there Danny was there Travis was there it was a I was fucking so far. I told him you were coming too You would add a fucking blast and you would have got some sick ass way Yeah, you fucked up and you probably would have met all the people all the other people from rockstar were there They were great and they would have heard your voices you met him made some connections, but then I only have a now a sleep He's lying when we got out of here the UFC promo. Yeah, the UFC podcast we did Yeah, I went home and I couldn't fall asleep I had to be up at the top of the show of Jonathan. Yeah, yeah, I've done that too But I've sucked it up because it's just sleep.

It's not like you're a fucking crab fisherman, you cock sucker. What were you doing on morning? That was so tough. I was filming. Filming what? My new show. Oh.

Coming to Bravo. You have a show coming? It's called Big Head in the City. No, no, no. Hey Bobby, next time you have a movie. Pretty soon it's gonna be Hurtin' Pits. Back in the city Hi Bobby next time you're gonna be hurting pits Back in the hospital don't be afraid of the hospital Right next time you have a party like that Dan can come you can invite me. I'll go. Oh, Cal

I forgot that's not gonna happen, but thank you for it. Thank you so much for being sweet Thank you, baby. I appreciate it, but that's never gonna. No, I will. I would I would have definitely invited you Absolutely, you know I invite you invited you came Anthony's one Absolutely Phil I got you a gig. Yeah, I got you a gig Phil I got you a goddamn gig anyways, I hope everybody on this show out except for you Louis I haven't helped you yet. I'm new you know. I got you water when you were thirsty I carried you we did

Louis when you look back and you only saw one sort of put No, Bobby. Bobby was here. All right. Anyways, if you're a gamer and you like games, go, go right now to GameFly.com slash YKWD. Join up. You're going to get two weeks free. It's a $22.95 dollar.

I don't know where they come up with that number. It's fucking ridiculous. Just come up with a $20 value. But you're going to get two free games. It's unbelievable. I do GameFly all the time because I don't want to spend $ dollars on a game and find that it blows okay and plus I get bored of games what you finish it what are you gonna do with it you're gonna go back to games about turn it in for fucking pennies on the dollar fuck it join game fly dot com

and try out the games play the games return the games get the games back do whatever the hell you want with it but make sure you want to help the show the this is one of our official sponsors go to gamefly dot com slash yk wd and join that way so we can make some kids a rizza we make some can say that it is a rizza and what do you have a flip and actually I actually gave you guys your first checks last week you actually we actually finally I paid the The crew Yeah, you I got you a gig you got a gig

I got you a gig I got you a nice gig with then you that might lead into other thing Kelly blew her money Kelly blew her money on tights that you can wear under jeans shorts I tell you what? And Kelly knows that turns me on and it's bugging me. This slut's trying to fucking make my dick on. What? Do you see? To get a better spot on this bughead.

Oh, man. That 80s I ride in a Jeep. Fuckin' love it. I love it. If I didn't already have a shitty visual of her vagina or an asshole in my head, I'd try to fuck it. So, is it going to look like a 12-year-old boy, Dan? No, not at all. No, not at all. You look like a chicken 88 that you're like, we're going over to Buckstown.

I look great. Shut up. Let me tell you something, Kelly. I mean, you look very pretty lately. Thank you. You've been really stepping your game up when you're showing up on the show. You put a little makeup on today. I don't know if you before you came there, low, she looked like like shit But she put a little makeup on and she looks good right now. I think you look great

But I do think those types are a weird choice with being as hot as it is. I don't I don't think so I can't wear I can't wear Just shorts because I have horrible legs. Do you know? Thanks for rubbing it in guys I have like white Italian grandma legs will go get a ten that's not that they like that they wobble everywhere and i'm like a sail i don't know the people into the wobble we will wait a minute wait a minute stop my first of all for the wobble to be enjoyed

i want everybody right now to envision how hot uh... kelly's assholes right now just in black tites on a humid day in New York City. It's crazy, crazy ones. Yeah, just a hot, the drips just get stuck in there. I'm using my smell imagination. Ha, ha, ha. Your smell imagination. In there, dripping pool seats.

Oh, Jesus Christ. Jesus, it's made it move. Ha, ha, ha. It was plumped up. Why you like that? You like a hot dish? So anyway, I just I got to move on He didn't even ever do what?

You go yeah, I got to get you guys email addresses too because I'm really sick of getting emails for you guys You know when I go to the yeah, then they go to rye guess.com the pitches the old pitches of me and Dan. They're emails around there. Okay, great. So yeah, I've got these real turface. How many emails do you get from checks? Yeah, you're doing the fucking. I listen, the fucking microphones. We used the headphones. Can we start doing that? I'm getting a lot of complaints everybody talking over everybody. Tell those people to go fuck themselves. Really? Just kidding. Well, let's do it this way. Thank you Talk over each other Wow, can have that thanks

Hey, it was satisfying at home here on my micro Oh, it doesn't smell like your hot asshole How many emails do you get from the website to you about chicks liking you then? I've never I haven't got an email. Not one email from a girl. You're lying. You fucking lying. I've never even checked my riot cast,

so it might be chock full. No, but you didn't get a riot cast. It's not a riot cast, what dummy? She has, she's dealing with a riot cast. It goes to my email. Yeah, I've gotten no emails. Do you get them on Facebook and Twitter? That's where they f**k bitch'm not for you really I email Dan

Yeah, how many? Look at me look at me look at me look at me look at duck fuck Duck fuck. Hey, oh you fucking dodged your bullets everybody else in the show opens the fuck up I even got one fucking email from a chick Well yeah, we'll fucking answer the question I just did Stop fucking being a vassier I'm not Yeah you are

I'm writing Shut the fuck up I'm writing Don't talk like me I'm writing Don't do me back to me I'm writing Fucking do me to me

I'm writing What the hell? Fucking do me to me I'm writing He deflects with the voice Listen Come, come on, it's happening. What? None. I'm being a fucking honest.

First of all, you're lying. I get like a dude that's like, hey, you're really funny on, you know what, dude. You never get a dude. I get dudes. A girl. A girl. You never get an email saying that.

What are you saying, Lou? Oh, doc, I'm just saying, girls don't send you an email. They send you, they hit you up on Facebook Facebook so you can see what they look like so you Got one of those hot. I know I'm kidding I really felt bad You know what do you mean? It was almost a whimper. What do you mean? What do they come?

I don't get I don't know what you're you're trying not to blow up your spot I don't listen to you Yeah, no just a piece of shit. You know you are you're a fucking phony fuck you. I'm being honest. Don't fucking be I don't fucking matter me because you're phony you're a phony you're a phony dude Yeah, you are I can see right now what Dan's doing is he's typical bullshit deflecting and goofing around and playing low games I'm being me Kelly of being dead honest. We want to know what type of fucking snapper you get from the show not a lot Not a lot is different than not one one One

Swear on Trisha's soul. I swear on Trisha's soul. I got one new your mother Trisha my mother not the chick you Bang. So you're gonna say let's move on. No, I sort of got one one but I was good. We need to change that we need to change that because I get a lot if You're fucking like Dan and your hot for Dan you listen to the show email Dan don't tell me I don't want to hear it myself a steam is shit right now okay I lost 20 pounds and I'm still a moose that's fucking that's fucking two babies I love big babies yeah two oh my god big babies and I'm still a fucking cowl lipper yeah I can't wait to hear that. Okay, listen. I got another email the other day from someone. About what?

About like, he's like, hey, so I'm seven inches thick. I'm all blah. Seven inches thick? Wait, stop, stop. No, no, no, no, no. Seven inches thick. That's a fucking fake. Yeah.

That's a fucking, that's a lamp. I got the creepy, it was the creepyest message. You're just like, I do have some children, but I'm like, the girl is. What is the best of all studs? You're a middle-aged fucking Aussie bitch. I'm sorry. You're a pretty girl, you know what?

I wouldn't do with kids. Yeah, I probably would. Do you have kids? No, but I would fuck a girl with kids. Do you have not like, not in front of the kids? Not in front of the kids not well now all the kids 15 now man keep it legal all right so if they younger are we on a boat are we international water you're you're in a casino boat three miles out Maritime law

she's 16 you fuck or not Maritime Shit there's not happens gonna marry you. I don't want to incriminate you have a girlfriend. No nothing. What was last girlfriend yet? In the same like that live in the same state Yeah, like not a made-up one. Yeah, nothing one from Canada. Louis got Polish pentiles I've had a lot of weird long-d and really, no girlfriends in the city where I live for forever. What do you get off banging chicks in the Coast Guard? What do you mean?

I don't understand. I meet girls on the road, or I meet girls in places, and then I move, or then something happens. The first, Luke. Luke can only come. Rrrrr. I'd better get up starboard. Starboard. Starboard. Hard to stop it. Hang on one second, can we get back in there? become Better get up starboard starboard

You get the rag of fucking shame So Kelly would you get fake tits if I was gonna get it for you? If I could get you fake tits would you get it? Would you get huge fake tits? No, no, no, I just gonna lift it a little bit. Okay, now, no, I mean fake tits. I want like, listen, I want like Marty McFly's mom. You got to fly if you get free.

You made me your V's. You want them back, you can have them. I'm talking you go up to a C cup, a nice C. Double D. Little, no, I'm not fucking double D. Or top heavy. I'm not making money. No, I'm going to go big.

I'm going to go like big C small day, even more normal day. Fuck the day, I'm going to get your C. A full, listen, I get your full C. Here's the deal though. I get to see them whenever I want to. Can you get the shitty ones, the rock hard, and they're separated? I get you a full-sea. Here's the deal though. I get to see them whenever I want to. Can you get the shitty ones that are rock hard and they're separated? Have you ever touched them?

I've had, uh. Early 80s fake ones. No, I get a really nice tits with like a tear drop, a nice little, you like that? Like a really good tits. I'm not gonna touch them, though. I'm not gonna suck it, I just get to see them. Like if I'm like, Kelly, show me your tits. Like, we're after the thing, I'm like, show me your tits, you don't have to I'm like show me a tits you have to show them yeah you have to though can I get a tits lap now let's rock with you

tits you know you've been a little fucking juvenile the last two shows you you know that you get a little too fucking up in the yeah donate the Kelly's tits fun. Yeah. Yeah, get it. Get it. Here's a tits. Here's a deal. We tried to get her a date and only four people applied. One of them was a fucking psychopath. The other one was a fucking guy at a 7, 70 inch dick and nine kids.

Yeah, real as a man. Real as a matter of bang man, dingo. Yeah, we had one guy that I sent you a really cute guy, but I never heard. He's a bust in life. Ooh, so what? It's a three hour bus tour. I'll get him a ticket. The perfect distance. Yeah, so what? It's a three hour bus tour.

I'll get him a ticket. The perfect distance. Yeah, I'll get him a bus ticket. He can come out or a ticket. You're talking a long distance Louis over here. Hey, you're talking to fucking Yugoslavian Lou. I didn't see the other guy from that, what's the guy from the mad scientist.

Yeah, he wants to fucking book it too. Yeah, I'll fuck it up. That's a little too. I'm not getting a plane ticket. No, no, he's coming. He said he's coming here on the plane. Okay, so if there's a doctor out there, I hope there's some Mexican doctor. No, he was a doctor. Takes kidneys. I can pull in the labor. We need, how much would it cost? Doctor, doctor, what's your name? Doctor what? Sanchez. Sanchez.

You see. Let me ask you. I ain't gonna want a second. I'm talking to Dr. Sanchez about your tits. I want to ask you a question Dr. Sanchez Now you see Kelly, right? Okay, now we need to make her we want to give her fake tits Okay, we're gonna go up to like a full C is that good a full C? What I'm sorry what we'll go a C or D see we'll go see Okay, I was thinking the same thing. So C. C. Okay, so a full C or just a regular C.

C. Okay. Okay, show them. So now what I'm thinking though is, what I'm thinking though, Doc, is that we, how much is this gonna cost? Muncho. Munchoow like 3000

4,000 Wait a minute. I can get her a full C for 300 Just a regular C. Okay, just a regular C For $300 I'll I know we're gonna get a C and we just gonna do a C but for $300 Wait a minute. I know but for $ know. We're gonna get a C. We're just gonna do a C. But for $300, wait a minute. I know. But for $300, we're gonna get her a C. C. I think that's fucking great. I'm in. I think of this somebody just gets she just gets a bag of rocks putting her chest. I'm not a pro at all. I'm a pro at all. I'm a pro at all. I'm a pro at all.

I'm a pro at all. I'm a pro at all. I'm a pro at all. I'm a pro at all. I'm a pro at all. I'm a pro at all. I'm a pro at all. I'm a pro at all.

I'm a pro at all. I'm a pro at all. One tit one tit is full of like donkey shit the other one's full like ostrich feathers He's soft that you lie on this one So She goes to the zoo and the fucking animals just come to her tit You're a hot, you're a hot, Ellie, you're a feathered sister. She goes to the zoo and the fucking animals just come to her tit. It's like a downcomfer with a rip in it. So if there is somebody out there that does tit jobs, you know, a doctor maybe, I don't think there's a doctor that listens to my show, but you never know.

I mean, Dr. Steve. Dr. Steve doesn't, you don't want Dr. Steve. Those fucking round bug guys to touch your tits I should come back look at like a fucking escape victim from Saul. Yeah, you'll come back looking like a mannequin He'll keep your nipples as a fucking keychain So if there's a doctor out there Kelly wants fake tits and if you get fake tits because of the show I'm talking now or forever. Okay, I get to see them whenever I want all right. Don't fuck what the fuck I'm talking now or forever. Okay. Okay. I get to see them whenever I want. All right. Don't fuck what the fuck. I'm not chop liver Trot. I'm the fucking chop liver. What is this bush week?

Doctors are the worst like if you I don't know if you've ever been like a doctor or a lawyer Yeah, they're the nastiest when it comes to bedtime. What do you mean? They're the freaky ones ever. Oh, yeah, Patrice used to talk about that He used to say any girl that's a doctor or a lawyer is a fucking dirt ball because they spent their whole lives the prime and proper prime and proper in school and just you know I gotta get this shit done and now they got some pussy because of the money they got and you know where they're at and they just fucking lose their mind I was telling you about the Puerto Rican guy? He was studying medicine. He's gonna be a doctor.

And that was like, see? Ooh. Yeah. Yeah. I remember. Keep holding your underarms, Dan. I don't like the shoes of time. Oh, that's mean, dude.

That was mean, Kelly. Well, I can't imagine I made a joke about his cancer. Oh my God. Dan has cancer. Dan has cancer. Stop it. All of you need to stop it. What you guys don't know is that I'm helping his effort to get

pussed because now we're making fun of him and this girl's going, oh no, I just make fun of Dan so it is. Oh my god, Dan has cancer. Dan has cancer. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Yeah, I'll fix your can't I'd rather stay healthy and not be loved. Yeah This will you do you'll have some of these girls suck the cancer out of your fucking top like rattlesnake Fuck it Okay, so where is this fucking Christian kid? Yeah, he's on his way really when

15 minutes ago, this is why you don't have people on the show. I have my trying to fucking tell you this I've got my fucking Kelly and I got my Dan and you're always my fill. Hey, okay? But here's the thing is I don't have fucking regulars because you can once they get look it You can't depend on them like I can depend on you dad. I'm always a fucking one. I Dependent on you and you've always been there for me then and that's why I love you And that's why I hope the cancer goes away I hope it goes a remission And I mean he's gonna lose all his hair yeah

Where did you learn out of fucking bus balls? And maybe we can dig up his dead. Yeah, I can Skull fuck you Skull you like these fucking fans on Twitter, dude. Good God you fucking you got that you got the killing stinks of a dingo Here's the thing to put that there's there's a. There's a couple of these guys on Twitter that, oh man, I blocked a bunch of guys this week. Why were they saying? Well, it's weird.

I mean, not to get too fucking serious, but, you know, of course, I knew I was going to get heavy, like I've said before, when I quit smoking. It's been going on 11 months, no smoking. This was a tough one. I knew I was going to gain weight and you get fat and I know I'm going to get shit for it. But some people, you know, look, when you're trying, when you're waking up all the time, going to the gym, eating right, you're always fucking bust. You're asked and you start to lose the weight.

But then every time you go on the internet, you are so called fans are just fucking annihilating you on and they're not even doing it in a funny way or a fun way. You know, like I have that thing where it's like, you know, put the smiley face at the end so I know you're kidding. Right, a wiki or a fucking, I love you, Bobby. I'm cool with that. I get that you're just joking.

If you know, but some of these guys try to do it like too norton or Anthony, through them, but put me in it. They're not even following. They're just fucking not fans of mine. And they're vicious. And I had one guy say something about, you know, your fat fuck, just as fat as that N word Patrice.

What? Yeah, man. Look at shit in here. Well, I blocked him, but he came back on five minutes later because Twitter does nothing to you. They don't find your IP address. They don't fucking, you know, you know what you're talking about? Guys listening, they can go fucking.

Well he signed back on, he said the same thing five minutes later. Blocked him again. I would be different person. Different person. And then, you know, and I'm holding, because he thinks he's fucking funny, but what he is is he's an unfunny cunt that lives in the fucking, he thinks he can fucking sit around a bus balls. You're anonymously. That's what bugs me. He's a fucking pussy. Yeah, anonymous. He's a pussy. And then I had some guy who was at the fucking cello last week. Just might you know button has said some shit to me. I was like the fuck you talking about. Then

he you know he is the fucking I didn't want to start any trouble at the cello. You know what I mean? I'll I'll walk away from that shit. I don't need the fucking deal with that shit. And then he I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I- To say something you should have said it to me while I was there for fucking two hours Don't tweet it don't fucking tweet it to me internet gave a bunch of pussy's confidence Man people that should never have had a voice like this whole touch thing as well Maybe it's just great. I gave all these people that shouldn't have a voice who never deserved a voice for a fucking reason Now they get hurt that fucking blog made me so fucking mad CK come to our defense. No, no, no, no. He didn't even know anything about that. It wasn't even the girl that wrote it. She relayed the story to her friend and her friend goes,

you know what, they can't do that to you. I'm gonna put that on my blog. So it's a crazy game of supposed like adult telephone. Yeah. And you know what, people from the club came out and said, you know what, she fucking stayed for the whole show. And she heckled. She heckled.

If you heckled a comic when they're on stage trying to do their fucking job. I was just trying to help. I was just trying to help. No, you're trying to get hurt, you dumb cunt. Shut your fucking mouth. Let's get Kelly. Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, let's stand. Let's stand.

Kelly, I did nothing. It's Dan. He's doing it. I did it. I did it. He's doing a character. I get really angry, but like, people think because I'm a chick that I should be like, what, so your full rape? Your full rape? Is that what it is? No, I'm not in a night out. He's doing a character. I get really angry, but like people think because I'm a chick that I should be like what so your full rape your full rape is that what it is? No, I'm not full rape. You know what's funny you piece of shit. You know what happened?

You would know talk about your friend from Australia. Oh, yeah, that's it I don't even know if I've got time to even go into that well We got a couple minutes. It was a story about this is why people speaking up in this is why people speaking up like that is a bad bad thing there was A long story short. There's a soldier in Australia who went to Afghanistan got like three like I don't know people hearts Whatever they are and wait a minute. Don't throw out purple hearts away. That what they are well Yeah, but you got shot in bad. Yeah, I mean, it's just a fucking goddamn hero Don't throw our should we don't't throw your fucking golden kangaroo fucking reward that you give you are cool. I don't know if we call him Pebble Hatsi here.

I don't know, guess you should for it. But I give you three shrimp, shrimp, shrimp shrimp, shrimp shrimp. Yeah, I decorated on a re. Okay, so this guy who you know a war hero in Afghanistan and there was pictures of him that surfaced in a woman's magazine of him swimming and he's hot as guts Beautiful body tattoos and there's a show life the view Called the circle in Australia and they were shown the pictures all the girls Stop stop stop stop. This is why your country just sucks your country tries This much literally that much to fucking be creative. Guys, what do you need to be?

What do you want to call it? I mean, I have to use circle. Well, you know, they're sitting at the table. Sitting in a circle, so we're called the circle. So all these girls are getting old. They're all sitting in there and they're like, Look at how hotty it is. Look how hotty it is.

And one of the girls goes, I don't know, why we wouldn't go for him. They're like, why not? She's like, I don't know. Look how good he looks look at our body He looks amazing. He'd probably be like a bit dumb guys that good looking always a bit dumb and it just doesn't do anything for me Holy shit the fucking press like they attack this poor girl She's like 31 she got like three kids. She used to be a MTV DJ. That's how she got this job

She's not a fucking bright girl. The kids were getting death threats to the school. All of the advertisers for the show, this is what pissed me off. All the advertisers for the show started pulling out. So she had to lose her job. So the advertisers would come back in. Speaking, wait a minute, really quick,

though, speaking of advertisers. If you go to ryecast.com, right, forward slash, backslash, Robert Kelly. Yes, go to the, we know a dude podcast page on right cast And if you're gonna buy something off the internet then what are you gonna do? Go to Amazon our come right there click the Amazon button buy your stuff from our page You're supporting Amazon you're supporting us and you're supporting yourself But Bobby what if I don't want to buy a video game, but just play it. Oh God

Do I have the answer for you Dan? What what should I do? I'll tell you right now gamefly.com slash YKWD you go there join you're gonna get two free weeks. Oh my God You're gonna get two video games for free. That's a 22 95 dollar value right there. Wow beautiful dad What a value. All right back to your story this this fucking gay guy go ahead No, but she she ended up apologizing and everything but how is that equivalent? Okay, so what happened? No, no, but this is what happened was is that on Facebook they started like a Facebook group So people that shouldn't have a voice having a voice

She got decimated on this fucking Facebook group. They're saying worst things that she doesn't care Okay, here's the thing. This is what I'm gonna, because here's what happens, is that we are, all right, you have a walk in the garage to the street and it's a red light and okay, there's a ton of people, all right, torus, whatever. And all of a sudden,

you see the nose cars coming, so you walk across. Everybody comes with you. And then a car comes in like, a pack of people almost get wiped out because one person went when he wasn't fucking supposed to and all these fucking cattle just followed him. Yeah, let me.

We're just fucking cattle. And when you can get your group of people to attack blindly any fucking other group of people. And that's why the internet, this whole fucking thing blows because you're never going to get the full story. You're gonna get pieces of it. Look, a friend of mine just passed away on the internet.

I heard about it on the internet, okay? I saw it, that's the great part about the internet that I found out, which I probably wouldn't have for a couple of days now, that a friend of mine passed away. Steve Crowley, see. Beautiful fucking man. great part about the internet that I found out, which I probably wouldn't have for a couple days now, that a friend of mine passed away, Steve Crowley, see. Beautiful fucking man. Sweet guy, I love his wife MJ helped me out

on my fucking fifth fat into my fucking fifth skinny. Beautiful woman, they have a baby. Great guy, I love them, own a producer, and he passed away. I found out about it on the internet, that's the great part. But the worst part is that all the rumors start happening of how it happened and blah blah. And then you're like, oh, fucking, you don't know. Yeah. You don't fucking even know this guy.

You're a fan of the fucking show. You never met him. Maybe shook his hand once. You don't even know this guy. And you're putting this shit out there. It's all over It's like what the fuck even with Patrice same shit. I got to have some fucking lunatic You know call Patrice fucking names and you'll never know who this guy is because he's it. Yeah, and that's What a pussy. Yeah, it's what about like why don't slander laws? Why don't those work? Why can the internet? They have no right now. There's like no ball the Wild West man. It's the Wild West I guess I like all and even the even the Wild West man. It's the Wild West. I guess I like all of them. And even the third hand accounts of the Tosh thing.

I was like, this sounds. And everything sounded all. Yeah, and I said that the manager apologized three times. I said the manager of the left factory apologized profusely to her. He should never know. Oh, yeah. No one would have done that. Because you know, that's the.

That's why I love the cell. You know what they would have done kicked her the fuck out of here Oh, I got a great it. There's no way I managed it. I apologize Yeah, Gary and I talked about this. He had he dismantled this heckler and having on DVD Yeah, and she got kicked the fuck out right as that it was awesome I was now says one of the treason on stage and he had this joke. It wasn't a rape joke. It was a it was awesome. I was downstairs one of the treason on stage. And he had this joke, it wasn't a rape joke. It was a joke. I forget the rape was in it. But the word rape.

He's got the best rape joke of all time. All right, go ahead, what is it? The raping my time. He goes when he talks about his girlfriend. And he's like, when you are telling a story, you're raping me of my time. It's one of the best, it's unbelievable. I like, I like Kurt Metzka's rape joke where it's like, uh, what?

The third, the third degree rate. It's like, really? Yeah. He's like the degrees of rape. He's like, first degree, like you just get your 10 brushed against and it just builds up it up. He's like, I'm talking a real meat and potatoes, right? Yeah. That line is, but here's the thing about that. That's great. There's a classic clip on YouTube of Patrice dismantling this chick on Fox News. Yeah, because she's like, that's rape supposed to be funny. And he's like, yes, because I'm funny.

You don't know. He did it at the cello one night as some lady heard the word rape fucking had to say something because she just heard the trigger word, rape. And then she Immediately fucking narrow-minded everything shuts down and she goes on a tack mode on how to defend and then he's like What thought any fucking dis manner her and it shows about rape Yeah, and it shows like even when Burr had that bid on let it go about guys calling each other fags

What are you a bag? He said like people? Listen to an interview, he said, like, people would walk out and be like, he's homophobic, he's like, now that's not what I'm talking about. You're not listening to the joke. Right, they're just tearing the word fag. You're not listening to that, bitch. Yeah, he said that people in a Reddit interview

were burying, saying that people were walking out because they heard fag. Yeah. They think that he's being homophobic. They don't, they hear a word, that's it. They hear a word. And then you hear that Daniel Tosh did a rape joke and people hear rape and they go, that's not funny.

How could he say that? You don't even know, he could have been talking about fucking dogs raping each other. And they're just like, that's not funny, Dan. You know what's not funny? That's a dog rape. Listen to me, Dan. My, Diva, you know, Diva, you like Diva?

She was raped by a German Shepherd. So how do you feel now? Listen what you want to do when you have a dog rape This dog's been raped now you as an owner you're the rape You as an owner, you're the reaper, you're the reaper. You basically give it a cold joke on the right. Guys, ripes never funny. You gotta be, we have to be able to say anything, anytime, anywhere, because if we can't, we'll never find the funny.

We have to be able to, like that bandana, we throw that around when someone has a bomb, because look, you're trying, you're trying to find funny. Even on this podcast, whether you're on the stage by yourself, you're doing a talk show, even on the podcast, whether you're on the stage by yourself, you're doing a talk show, even on the street corner at a table at a dining with your other friends, we're always trying to find funny.

That's what we do as comics. And sometimes we step over the lines. And sometimes we say some outlandish shit to each other. If they're offended by what we say on stage, they should hear what we say. Oh, man. At the table with the self. Like, some of the shit that people have said to me,

I'm like, Joe list openly made front of my dead father for four years. Openly. We've done it on the shelves. Yeah, and that's what I'm not going. You guys know. Yeah, we're going to blame about it. Your dead sister. That fucking funny.

I wanted to make t-shirts. My sister's dead. But I'm saying people Pussies that hear that right and then they're like And you know fuck yourself with the watchdog groups. Well, that's the thing about Kelly like some people like you know You're really Kelly. It's like look if Kelly was taking offense of this I hope she'd have the fucking balls to say shut up here's the thing though. She did but here's the thing is that person to say shut up. Here's the thing though, she did, but here's the thing,

is that person, that person didn't know that Kelly's on her way up, paying her fucking dues, learning how to get a thick skin as a comic. You know what I mean? And I'm not saying, look, I'm not saying you have to be able to, you know, be abused verbally by other comics to be a comic, that's not what I'm saying. Some guys don't do that.

What's that? Got to have thick skin. Oh, you know, really? You said, you know, really you picked your time for that? Well, you know, I don't know if there was ever a perfect fucking gotta have thick skin. People are always, audience members are always amazed when comedian shut down hecklers.

And they have to understand that our training for that is we heckle each other off stage. And there's nothing that a heckler can say to me that's gonna be a half of some of the shit that Keith Robinson said to me. Show list Bobby Derosa. No I don't know what Dan is like what I've annoyed me about the touch thing is that people were like you know he could have just told her to be quiet. No you fucking idiot you can't just tell someone hey man I'm just kind of doing a bit do you mind being quiet? No you have to fucking push them down to the fucking ground

because they need to know. Whoa, what a guy. That's a bloat of your whole life down here. You know, one person fucking say anything. Feel like one person say anything. It lets, there's no respect for anybody. It's, I don't know about that, Kale. I don't think you have to, you don't have to bury, yeah.

But you do have to keep it funny is what you have to do. If you just say, if you go, if you go, come on, can you please be quiet? Each, you're showing weakness and you're showing you're not commanding the stage. If you just do it in a funny way, you know, that's, that's all you have to do is be funny. You don't have to, you don't have to take them down.

But I think his rape joke is pretty funny. I thought it was funny. Is there ever funny? Because it's like the whole audience. Hang on, stop, stop. I want to look, you tell the, people listening, tell the rape joke. The one that what supposedly according to the blog is what happened and first and I agree.

It's out of context. There's no video. You know what the fuck really happened. Right. Right. But what they say is happened. I heard someone in the audience. He said, what's what I talk about? Someone says rape. And he's like, oh, I guess rape could be funny. And she goes, rape is never funny. He goes, wouldn't be funny if five dudes came in and gang raped you right now, which is funny because it's ridiculous yeah if you said rapes never funny and then a five-dude rapes that would be ridiculous here's what here's a bugs me you want to bugs me as a comic want to comic goes up and he's that fucking he has that much money where he goes what do you want to talk about oh

that bugs me we should talk about that that he didn't have a fucking what do you guys want to talk about yeah what he didn't have a fucking what are you guys gonna talk about? Yeah, what do you want me to make funny really? Yeah, that fucking good That fucking bugs me Tosh, you know, I mean what should I make funny for you tonight? Ground what are you fucking Houdini? Who wants to lock me up? Guys throw me a suggestion. Yeah Yeah, fuck that that aggravates me.

I wish somebody said, child rape, make that funny. Come on, Tosh. It really is only- Heard some good ones of that. I mean, come on. Who hasn't? Did you say good child rape? Yes, I'm sure I've heard good child rape.

Good kid fucking joke. Yeah. Look, as comics we can make, I truly believe, make anything funny. I'm not saying every comic, but there's a comic out there that has a fucking joke about some terrible shit that if you heard, I get that you don't wanna laugh out loud, you don't maybe not in public, I get that you're a Christian or whatever the fuck you are,

but if I told you one on one in a car, you'd go, that's fucked up. Some companies are on it, some times you're saying horrible shit because it's horrible and that's what's funny about it Sometimes it is funny. I mean what it's just comedy and tragedy together like when you get the two masks They come together ones laughing one time that analogy Fucking analogy I I'm gonna nail it to you. I'm gonna nail it to you. I'm gonna nail it to you. I'm gonna nail it to you. I'm gonna nail it to you. I'm gonna nail it to you. I'm gonna nail it to you.

I'm gonna nail it to you. I'm gonna nail it to you. I'm gonna nail it to you. I'm gonna nail it to you. I'm gonna nail it to you. I'm gonna nail it to you. I'm gonna nail it to you. I'm gonna nail it to you.

I'm gonna nail it to you. I'm gonna nail it to you. I'm gonna nail it to you. I'm gonna nail it to you. I'm gonna nail it to you. I'm gonna nail it to you. I'm gonna nail it to you. I'm gonna nail it to you. I'm gonna nail it to you.

I'm gonna nail it to you. I'm gonna nail it to you. I'm gonna nail it to you. I'm gonna nail it to you. I'm gonna nail it to you. I'm gonna nail it to you. I'm gonna nail it to you. Tattu of tragedy and comedy ones laughing at the other one while he's crying like he's angry He's a dude that makes some dark shit really funny I have a problem. I said a comment. He's a fucking Bobby say he's a fucking hammer dude. He I'm sorry. Go ahead Well without going on metaphorically, and this is something that Kurt mess Kurt I want you to first of all stop using such big words, okay? Now go ahead now with this crazy example stuff of the masks is that better?

Now with this crazy example stuff of the masks is that better or whatever What Kerr was saying is that's like it's yeah, it's horrible. That's why you make jokes about it And someone was saying that's like that's like you understand like one in five women been raped and there's someone in your Audis has probably been raped or had to deal with rape or no someone's been raped and they're saying like you People say Holocaust jokes are okay, but you wouldn't do that in a club in like Serbia where you know where you know who loves holocaust jokes is Raylee's is Raylee's love holocaust jokes and that's a country buy and for holocaust survivors you know what I mean yeah and this is Lou by the way he's Jewish his name is cats just like a hell it's the juice it's how you deal with. You turn horrible shit and you laugh at it, because that's life. That's fucking life.

It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is.

It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is.

It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. that analogy and Kurt Metzger had a great one about a bodega selling children's soldier uniforms. It was like this average. It was like fucking hilarious. Well, here's certain guys can actually pull it off. But listen, certain guys can.

Oh. Okay, and you know what? Maybe Tosh, coming out of him, maybe it didn't seem, Patrice had a way of fucking saying really taboo shit. And Kurt has it too, there's certain comics that can say certain shit. I think Stan Hump is one of those guys. He's a little who can talk about that shit

and you kind of, I don't know if it's that there, who you are and your attitude, they're kind and you know that, okay, they're kind of in that mode. And then Tosh comes out and he's doing Tosh.0 and he's like, hey, what's going on? He's a little too pretty for it, maybe maybe maybe that that's what fucked him a little bit with that, you know situation But I hated about that was that I because I'm a chick. I was expected to be angry at him

Like because he had like rape jokes and like you want me to be angry on behalf of somebody else That's the fucking worst like why should I be fucking man? The most ridiculous thing of the whole thing I hope you guys agree was that the woman actually felt threatened like Vin and there at the possibility Well that's what happens when you heckle and get torn down and everyone's laughing at you That's maybe It's supposed to feel shitty Do you understand? No one talks to me like that. I'll use you to understand the fucking no I say this all the time the most problems. I have at a club

Is women drunk women and I'll even go as far as this white White entitled drunk white women are the ones who feel Ah, I had a lady at stand up New York. I was doing my joke about my mom And I'm like it's it's weird being raised by a single mom and she goes now it isn't now it isn't i go i'm sorry for that you're my fucking childhood yeah

i think i didn't remember you being there i thought i had a fictitious friend yeah because it's a drunk cut in the audience i've said i've said it so much you know i've said it so many times that it's usually for me at least and i think for the majority's drunk and title white women Who've never been told shut you fucking mouth now and they're fucking nuts, too, dude Now a girl a woman who says I felt threatened in a situation like that if you That fucking psychotic that you actually think

Something could happen in a comedy room. Full of people, right? On Sunset Boulevard. Literally. You're not in Kentucky in the woods. You're on Sunset Boulevard. You can literally run outside with a tith out and a cop will stop.

There's things everywhere. All right, you're not gonna get raped in front of a bunch of and their kids this kids that i've been to the fucking laugh act it's mostly fucking kids but i'll tell you what that's where you're gonna find problems because that you know these broads go to that club and they want to go see Daniel because he's a good-looking mother fucker and they see him and he's pretty and these hot chicks show up and they've never been told shut you

fucking mouth beat it and they got fucking emotional problems and they've never been told shut you fucking mouth you beat it and they got fucking emotional problems Because they've been they've been fucking dealing monetary value with their pussy their whole life Some yeah exactly some times running out on that pussy and they exactly it's like they're in one of those fucking tubes That has dollars in it and they turn on the fans Then it's trying to grab dollars because they know they're fucking, and you know what, whenever a guy heckles, if you put him down, he'll laugh and be like, ah, fuck you got me. Every drunk guy that I've had heckle me,

where I'm like, shut up, you fucking idiot, he's like, ah, right, I was just being a dick. Guys, look, guys can be assholes too, I'm not saying they're gonna win. Well, they want to fight you. Yeah, the majority of fucking people that fuck things up, ah, look at you. Ah, the majority of the fuck things up a white white entitled drunk women.

First of all, alcohol to club. Okay. Is this was this girl drunk at all? Does anybody's that? Eddie Griffin. Eddie Griffin. Eddie Griffin. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Eddie Griffin. I'm just good.

He's doing three hours on stage, OK? And he's crazy. He's talking crazy shit. What happened? Low pests on his new special, I guess he calls. He's using the word Puto, which is like, I thought of this as a general slang. Hang on, stop one second.

What does Puto mean? Bitch, there we go. We got a house, we got a house Puerto Rican. I thought it was a gay. I know, the American. Yeah, I can't mean gay. Like if you translate, maybe it's male process. You know, depending how, but it's just like a general insult word.

So he's using it, he's speaking in, in, you know, Mexican slang language. And it's called Spanish. Flang language? Well, Poo-Doh is not like proper Spanish. Oh, I'm sorry. You didn't even know what it means. But now you know it's not proper.

I'm saying, you know what? You remind me of the guy in, uh, fuck. I was going to say, give me the fuck a towel. I was just saying, I was going to say, no, you fucked me up. I had one locked and loaded. I was going to say, Louis in his seventh grade Spanish teacher face

And I didn't get anything So he was calling a Romney of Puto because he should come he should like a come out of the closet as a Mexican You know, he like kind of his family actually grew up in Mexico for yeah, so supposedly is a Mexican right? So all these all these sell out Gay Republicans are saying like oh, how come you get to say that how come liberals can say these words But when conservatives say it it's offensive because they don't I mean they're just but they're they're gay Republicans anyway I mean they're all they're all fucked up who knows what's wrong with them begin with but anyway They're coming out with I mean there's all this happened last week any Griffin Tammy

What happened to Emmy with Eddie Griffin? Heckly like pulled for the drink on him or something Someone threw something at him some wine and he got it and then he physically took some water and he shows it Like he gets all crazy in the front row and like physically dumps it all over her to Rora supplies of the awesome Like that was great like I watched it. That's fantastic. Awesome. That's on video? Yeah.

It's on you, Tom T.M.Z. Really? It's on you, Tom T.M.Z. It's on you, Tom T.M.Z. Really? It's on you, Tom T.M.Z. Really? It's on you, Tom T.M.Z.

It's on you, Tom T.M.Z. It's on you, Tom T.M.Z. Damn, take over the podcast. I'm trying to find this video. So. So. So. Oh, we're bad.

I don't know. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'll, yeah. I'll take over, you know my Bobby. Oh my god. Okay, go ahead, Kelly, you take over, go ahead. He just had no idea what she was doing. Oh, welcome back to Kelly in the morning. We're taking all your questions, school up, and there's a new segment called, fuck me. Is it a funny how the minute I might get some attention, Dan, let's take it.

Oh boy, you know what, you know what, me. Let it have it, Dan. Yeah. Did you read the blog? Did you read the one that the girl wrote? The one that the cookies were breakfast? You know it was written by a fat girl. Like, could you talk breakfast? It's what I'm going to call my blog. But I didn't write anything.

What happened with bloggers and comics now? We're not friends anymore? Like we hate each other. I think you brought up the point that no one's bringing it. Everyone's making it two sides. Like people are making it two sides. They're making it two sides. Yeah, I'm gonna be sassy on my blog, shut up idiot. What happened with bloggers and comics now? We're not friends anymore? Like we hate each other. I think you brought up the point that no one's bringing,

as everyone's making it two sides, like people that are for free speech and people that are against rape. But I think when no one's talking about what you brought up is like it's just new media. It's like these bloggers and people have too much, it's too much of a voice and it's out of context and people are slandering people and lying about them

and that's what no one's talking about. And it's like this as well, like a Paris Hilton right has this big campaign against bullying Bullying is really bad. Oh, he does All you doing is bullying people you put a photo of Hugh Jackman's wife like Deborah Deborah Curtis amazing actress Beautiful you put a photo of her up there with her children taking a kid's ass. We're going look at this fat bitch like making fun of it Wait, can I say one thing? Can I just just one thing? Cuz he's doing an amazing job right now I was actually really impressed. I was I mean, I usually do it as a joke

Apparently shouldn't do sticks. She's just fucking breaking out her audition tape I just actually have some fucking dumb show on cause the politon radio. I just became the producer I'm like trying to find videos. I'm like trying to get or something like Hang on one second here we go Is this the Eddie Griffin yeah He did it already I already did it. Yeah. All right. It's really early in the video. There it is. Yeah, there he goes. So basically, they don't show, that's out of context also. They don't show what led up that moment. Yeah, well, first of all, everything on the internet,

you have to believe this is out of context. You can't, the internet is the best and worst place in the world. It's the most amazing thing that's gonna change the world for the better in the long haul, but it's gonna ruin the world on the way there. I believe that. It's gonna change it, there's gonna be good and bad.

That was amazing what I just said. Somebody write that down. That's what you were about. That was the first one of those photos. I was looking for this scarf. You didn't like that one? Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, and Kelly, this is going well.

I like it. Kelly took over the show for five minutes all of a sudden she's fucking wearing sunglasses inside. Daisy filled Donahue. Sally Jess. Hey, Kelly, what's your final thought? So all of a sudden she's fucking wearing sunglasses inside. Easy filled, donnie, you. Sally Jess. Hey Kelly, what's your final thought? You know what makes with Kelly for stupid. I studied computer science.

You know what made to me. I studied computer science for a long time. Did you? And now one of my professors ever says something that profound. Really? Well, I'm going to say something else profound. You ever laid for the show again? You're fucking gone.

You Dominican. The first for Caroline. I don't do it. I have to. Can I just say something to Phil? Cause I'm incredibly grateful and lucky that I even know him. Yeah. I, I made like the fucking, I was just the worst.

I got to, I was, I had a spot at Caroline's. It was hosting. Yeah. Last week and I got there late. The fucking trains. Yeah, we already know. Yeah, we talked about you already. You're late and you know what, you don't get from being a new guy, you don't get the option of being late.

You know why? I run this fucking thing and I don't get to be late. Cause if I'm late, then you're here on time and there's no show. That's the fucking difference between a pro and a man with shit. I don't know. I'm not. All right. You're right. I know it's fine.

And you represent this podcast where you're there. You fuck me with Phil at the Caroline's. You're fucking this whole show. One word. Bobby. I tell him it's over. I've done. Go away, CNN Bobby. Don't hit him, please.

I've never felt like more of a piece of shit than today. Then that day and and today And then you did a second time today No, that was the first time I was like I work I was like I work today I mean fucking lose Just such a fucking Fuckin shit The fucking the Bayloo

I honestly I've never felt like more of a piece of shit on the way No, don't you know what? She's so bad with poking poking the bear she don't deserve the fucking bad joke rag This means this is an attempt at humor. Yeah, yeah You don't even get the fucking bad joke What you did was fucking Boy Scout Masters Here's a deal I think that it sucks because I it's only gonna get worse with the internet It's only gonna get worse this stick's gonna It's only gonna get worse. This thing's gonna blow up. The fact that we were so attainable,

you can just anybody. The guy at a bar who doesn't know me, who threatened me, right? Can go ask somebody what's his name, find me, and then send me threats on the fucking on Twitter, which is just like, now who the fuck is this guy? Yeah. You know what I mean? What a creepy what a creepy psych if I ever had a problem with anybody

I would never tweeted to them. I would never tweet something to somebody. I hate there's movie stars I hate there's fucking performers I don't like I don't tweet you Anything because look at I'll if I just don't buy your shit. I don't tweet you anything because look at I just don't buy your shit. I don't support you I don't need to let the fucking world know that you suck or you're a fat or you're a piece of shit Oh, you're not funny. I'm not that fucking important I have more important shit to do in my life than the fucking you know get some a couple followers that don't even fucking matter You're a fucking nobody.

Shut your fucking mouth. And don't say, not you, Dan. This guy who fucking, this guy who said that shit, and all these fucking assholes on Twitter. And I mean, look, I think Facebook is a better place because you have to be known. You really can't put a fake something up there. I can find out who you are, where you work, where you're from.

If I really want to Twitter this anonymous fucking shit stick of 140 fucking characters that enforce comics to be funny all day fucking long. We now not Not only do we have to fucking oh yeah, you're really killing a telling Not only do we have to fucking oh yeah, you're really killing a telling Drops of emotions some some people are really funny on Twitter, and that's cool But some people look I look I'm off. I'm off. Let it to I look up. I know where I am good on stage Exactly, it's okay, dude. I get it. I get it. I mean you could fucking help this podcast out a little more than a fucking though I read we yeah, yeah, how mean you could fucking help this podcast out a little more than a fucking though. I retweet

Yeah, how about you talk something fuck the retrait have actually type words and go hey guys She's Retreats come from the heart. This is coming from a girl who spends her fucking whole week promoting this show and you And all you do is reap the fucking benefits Thanks, guys, Bobby Dan and Joe There's a bunch of people that went, good, good, because he should. Thanks guys.

We love that flat face fucking goof. I just wish I could have provided the Caroline show a bit more. Ah. Ha ha ha ha. You know what's even weirder is when they booked me to headline Caroline's. So there you go. And they had a cancel.

Yeah. Ah, really kind of just being in the first list did have a girl though he did Joe listen I win here's a deal no you don't you don't win yeah I said I win I was I Kelly's on fire Kelly's on fire Kelly's on fire

I just heard that one yeah you should tie that thing around your neck I'm gonna wear it like a gay boy's comb. Get a photo of that, you clock sucker. What the grab is iPhone camera. He has a $3,000 fucking camera. And I got the wires on there. Dude, you are a clock sucker. You Dan, let me tell you something.

I'm disappointed in the fans of this podcast, and I'm disappointed in fucking Danny D This is one thing it you don't promote your show as well. You don't know how to fucking do it You had your first headlining gig and Caroline said no, it was my third out. Okay. Here's a deal Here's the fucking deal. I always out day Caroline's We'll fucking do a show with eight people, okay? 15 15. Oh, sorry, you know I couldn't get 15 You can I made you a website. Hey dude. They pulled they actually had to get a new curtain

Dude that sucks they canceled you fucking first headline gig. No, I've done it before. Yeah, we don't, no you haven't. No, November 20th. When I saw one, I'm going. Should you get paid anyway? That's not what I'm going with. But were people not happy with the first two? Ooh, interesting thing. Actually, you want to know the honest guy?

Let's find this, you want the honest guy? No, we want a fucking book me the headline eight days ahead. I'm not a fucking draw that's retarded. I'm a fucking middle act on the road I'm supposed to fucking fill up Caroline's and eight fucking days. This is the point. Let you know Yeah, I should've promoted Our fans are new hampshire are gonna fucking drive down here You're saying that you're a minute you know I had a corporate I don't know

Damn I'm gonna be learning more than you say all our fans are in the hampshire. I don't know you cock sucka I fed it from Vermont Cincinnati We have Rochester and we have a couple fucking Hawaiians and a guy in San Antonio I wish I was opening for I would they cancel that get what San Antonio? I don't know some guy said they canceled it maybe it was an No, but I got it like the honest got through this yes. I should have promoted it more But also you have to realize eight days for a guy that usually middles on the road is

Okay, anyway I ain't negotiate like okay, not eight, but maybe 12 days? You don't know. I don't know. They were like, hey, this date, you want to do it. Does a young comic have to be like, yes, I would love to do that. Listen, listen, I think the important thing here

that is Dan is getting considered for these headlining spots. Yeah, because he's fantastic. Yeah, he's going to get considered and he's premature and he can't do it. And Bobby just nailed it. So, yes, he will take it out of obligation, not out of fucking confidence and fucking ability.

Out of pure meekness. What is that, not real? If you ever want to go to a headline gig and fucking watch 23 minutes of really good standup and fucking around. 40 minutes of pedaling. 40 minutes of voices and hey. What do you guys want to make?

Right, I can do that. You're gonna love Dan Soder a lot of Tucson references It annoys me that he had to cancel it because like he's one of my favorite people to watch Oh, man. She really is now don't do this now. Thank you I'll fuck you I'm not bad because I attacked him before and he fucking I don't take the hit he whipped you and you whipped him That's the fucking deal Kelly You finally Oh this bitch came out of her whole finally how to couple fucking hits Fucking went back in yeah, yeah, I went back in fuck yourself. I fucking what all right anyways

We're gonna wrap this fucking thing up before it gets out of control. I don't want my two My two people on the show to hate each other I know you do day now fuck off both is I was kidding. I know if I can get her a bucket spot on an open mic. I will He's already got it. He's only got the fucking bandana Go fuck yourself. That's fun. Louis laughs. I was a shock That's why he's like that's joy list joke Stolen You just called you a hack Joy 10 is a Can is a

$5 to the open mic on Sunday Have a look at me 5 bucks so you can do 5 minutes It's too long, it's too long, Jake How about this, you keep you $5 And save it for the next time you have a headline And buy a couple tickets So that was good.

I love you, Dan. I fucking love you. And you cock suckers next time you support this motherfucker. I don't care if it's eight days out. I know. You know what the real thing is? Shut your face. The real thing is shut your mouth.

Nobody showed. I got three thousand followers on an account that he doesn't love. mouth nobody showed Shut up we used to get in the guy for you hit him already I should be tweeting more I am wrapping the show up I'm writing bits What he's saying her stories don't have punchline? No, I love the fucking go to a lecture about a help. I don't know I'm gassed out. You're an asshole. I am an asshole. You're really I don't I love Kelly. I hope I hope Kelly's fan Fucking attacked you if you guys want to email these fucking two douchebags that love each other and hate each other Go to riotcast.com and hit Kelly's fucking fat face. Ah!

And it all hit dance 12 year old face. Yeah, man, not bad. You really do like a fucking 12 year old molestie. When you do one little eyebrow up, it's like, hey, let's do a really good comedy photo. Put your eyebrow up. All right, listen. Yeah, you know fucking Jesus Christ.

Go here, go. Oh, that's good. This thing was fucking Jesus. You're here. You're here. This thing was fucking making me sweat. I'll take a minute. All right, we'll wrap this up. I gotta go. I have an important dinner to go to. I found out some fucking great news this week,

which I shared with you guys. Is that all? Is that the thing that we're doing? Is that the thing that we're doing? No, that's actually other great news. That was good news, but this is really good news. So we'll be, I'll be able to tell you guys soon. Hopefully, what's going on with me.

Some really good stuff happened and I'm very excited about it. And I'd love to share with all my fans out there and the fans of you know what to podcast. So hopefully soon. But right now we're gonna, you know what, I'm not even doing fucking tech talk with you. What did you have? What did you have?

If I had a Bluetooth speaker. Where is it? I don't have a, I don't have a with you. What did you have? What did you have? I had a a blue tooth speaker. Where is it? I don't have a I don't have a with me. How the fuck you gonna do tech talk without it with you? I've done it before without things with you. You know what? Fuck you. I'm useless. Next time you come here you have to have it with you. Okay. I'm doing tech talk by myself and you just yes me the death Christian. All right Lou we do a little thing called Tech Talk. I need to get this on video now, if you can do it. We can do it. Yeah, you can do it if you can. Let me just show you a song, shall I?

It's a show at the time. It's time for... You know what D-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T Bobby and Fred! I miss Joderos' so much. Don't I, my falsetto? Shut up! I was kidding! Fucking girl! What the fuck are you idiot? Come on!

Oh shit, sorry. What the fuck is it? Wouldn't it be funny if you were like a red bull? What the fuck? Honestly, Godfill, not funny. Not funny. You know why? That's not funny.

You just look like a dark fucking solace. Yeah. Whisper behind a camera, like he's fucking looking at me through bushes. Five o'clock, no, it wasn't good. You know, as a camera. Let me tell you something. Lou says it, hilarious. You know, he couldn't even hold her down.

So break him in half. I just break his glasses. He wouldn't be able to see. All right, we're gonna do a little tag. Come on. There we go. Everybody ready? Dan? Dan? Dan, tag, talk with Bobby and friends.

You love doing that. I miss Joe. All right, what I'm doing right now, I went, I don't know why I got into it. I've never liked them, Ray band sunglasses. Never liked them. The Jack Nicholson type of sunglasses. Hollywood star type of sunglasses. you wear them too you wear

him as glasses uh... but i actually got into him recently norton got me into him uh... he has a pair and i was just tried to monosie they're not that fucking bad but again i'm not gonna go buy them but now the new ray bands that just came out of fucking totally gadget friendly cool fucking something unique that nobody's gonna have and you know me I like getting Dan, Dan, where are you right now? We're starting to think about Ray bands. Okay, are they on the floor?

Yeah, look. Okay, alright. You need sugar? Is your armpit fucking dying? What's happening? No. So, anyways, I No, so I got these I got these new Ray bands the cool part is is they're foldable, okay?

That is pretty good. Yeah, these are pretty bad ass, especially if you travel the one thing I always loses my fucking sunglasses Because I put them on my neck. I've had them literally on a bus fall on the toilet ball and the blue fucking miss and had to reach in and grab Look 300 all fucking sunglasses. That's a funny story. My friend took gaming sunglasses. Very expensive. Don't fucking lose these Kelly from Boston. Joe Yonetti. I'm on the bus coming back to New York. They fall in. I am taking a piss and I'm like fuck 45 minutes in there. Mustering up the car is to stick my hand in that blue. We look I finally here arriving at Penn station, right? I jam a fucking port authority. I jam my hand in a fucking nugget hits my

I pull it out I wash him off. I use all the baby webs in the thing I'm so fucking gross. They go home. I wash my hand. I call them up, I tell them the story goes, dude, I got those on a ship for fucking fold all of us. Ah! Ah! But anyways. Ah! Fucking cunts.

So, they were the Spence of the Hireglass. Spence of. None of those gold ones. But these are amazing because they fold the fuck up. They're actually, they're the Ray bands, the new ones, the risky business ones. And they fold all up Totally up the sides fold and then they fold in the middle

But it's not just a cheesy fold like the Ferrari sunglasses that used to do them fold them up and put them on for the camera They're not like the cheesy one. This is a legitimate Welley well engineered Sunglass and the stuff in the middle is actually titanium I believe so it's lightweight All the screws are really light and I think they're titanium and they fold out in their regular Rayman sunglasses They come in red glossy and flat black She's actually Kelly's trying them on right now. How fucking those look a ball Cool and those look like real Rayman they look like real Rayman sunglasses and you can get them at sunglasses hot right now

150 bucks, which is pretty good for sunglasses. Usually they try to rape you and you know what else you can go Turn the fan off dummy because the podcast you fucking What are you you improv douche give me the sunglasses back she turns that fan on again Did she just try to do a photo shoot sunglasses back she turns that fan on again did she just try to do a photo shoot I want to fucking kill somebody her hair isn't even down you can't even work I know I know and it didn't work for nine years I'm gonna remember that shitty joke anyways these these sunglasses these are these are my new favorite sunglasses and the best part is too they come with a case and the case is a These sunglasses, these are my new favorite sunglasses,

and the best part is too, they come with a case. And the case is a nice little square like that, and it fits in your pocket, actually. You can put it right in your pocket, and it's not cumbersome, good word, Lou. For its own best of a merry-through. Thank you. Right now, and if you do wanna buy these,

you don't have to go to sunglasses, you can actually go to. Theaternet. No, and what are you doing the internet? I'm in the end of the come. Yeah, I'm in the end of the come. Yeah, I'm in the end of the come. You go to the fucking right cash.com.

Robert Kelly, you know what I'm saying? I was going from start to finish. And if there's anything I need you for us for the fucking promos, you have a great voice. You never back him up. Now tell the people where to go, Dan. Right cash.com. It's on slash Robert Kelly. Click on the Amazon where to go, Dan. Right, cuss.com. It's slash Robert Kelly. Click on the Amazon button and then you can buy your Rayman sunglasses.

Foldable. Foldable. They come in three colors. They come in three colors. Red. Red. Black. Black.

And flat black. Flat black. And actually four colors. Four colors. Tortoise. Tortoise. Wait, what's the difference between black and flat black? Probably the match. match I know one's flat look at your grandmother and then look at your grandmother Look at him laughing

All right guys you guys better let's let's wrap this up. We'll go with you first. Okay. No, he doesn't. All right guys, you guys, let's wrap this up. We'll go with you first. Okay. So that's Tech, Talk, with Bobby and Froome. And check out the video on this. Just go to my app on iPhone, iTunes. iTunes get the Robert Kelly award winning app, Comedy Award app, Comedy App of the Year.

Or just go to YouTube page. I'll go to our page on riotcast and all our videos are up there. We see if you want to check it out. It'll be up there. Go ahead. Where you going, Christian? What are you doing? Where are you going to be late to next? I'm going to be I'm going to be I'm going to be I have a weekly show every every Thursday at eight at Hotel Shantel and the Laurie side. Great comics. I gonna come down? I'm gonna book me for the when when you guys well Louis. Louis never doing it The joke Dominican it comes across angry Yeah, everybody I emailed you about my podcast. I want you to do that. Yeah, I did I will

I know you know, yeah, but I might become becoming famous soon So let's see where at and follow me on Twitter at Chris Polanco. All right. Cool. What's up, man? I'm gonna be at Nut Street comedy club in Wilmington, North Carolina August 3rd and 4th I'll also be the last three weeks of August. I'm doing a Florida tour with Arch Barker Check those dates out on my website. It's WWWWWWW at comedy dot com that's l o u i s k t z comedy dot com and get my album if these balls could talk uh... great album

on amazon through that's right right cast yeah you go to robber kelly's page although you know what dude page on rio cast which is the best way to buy my album if these balls guitar. Yeah, because you're actually gonna discount four people get a discount for every album you buy.

Cool. What the heck? That's real. Yeah, good, Kelly, it'll fill, go, fill. You go to fillpreventcio.com, got a new website. Nice photos up of the, you know what dude show? And great photos. Some good ones.

And oh, check out my Twitter at Phil Provencio. And you can see nice little Twitter battle I had with some Australian broad that Kelly is friends with. We didn't even talk about that. Oh yeah. That's who we're talking about. We'll talk about that next time. That's what you're talking about.

Bring that up next time. Most importantly, support these guys. It's my job to make these guys look good. Support those. And you do for it every week. Support Louis. Support everybody. Yeah, you do every week, man. You photos you take a great Support Louis. And you do, fucking every week. Support Louis. Support everybody. Yeah, you do every week, man.

You photos you take, and the videos you do, okay, but the, I'm kidding. You're gonna be doing my headshots this Wednesday. Boom. Boom. I just asked him to do main dance.

I'm gonna do, I'll call you. Yeah, all right. Well, fucking who cares? What do we go from there? You fucking dumbass. I love you, baby. I'm kidding Kelly. What are you? Okay, that's being fenced. Give me a lot Wow

Kelly's good. Kelly's on fire. That's fucking bitch. You sent the email. What'd you guys have? Do you guys have a class together? Go ahead. What's up? Okay, so underbelly on Saturday the 4th of August at 10 o'clock at the creek in the cave and I'm also starting a Buy monthly show so first the first and third Tuesday of every week of the starting a show in Queens But it hasn't started yet. I'll give you more details when that happens and you'll all be booked on it. So be great

So I was done Christians. Yeah I got no class. Dan. What do you got, buddy? And also, Twitter. Oh, motherfucker. I was expecting that. What do you got, buddy? Dan Soder, I'll be at Wise Guys and Syracuse, opening for Jesse Joyce, August 9th and 10th. Jesse Joyce, we see. Really good, dude.

You guys check me out, Boston fans. I'm coming home, so make sure you, I'm going to be there. The 16th and East Providence, Rhode Island, at the Comedy Connection. It's one of my favorite gigs, and then I'm going to there uh... the sixteenth in the east providence right now that the comedy connection to one of my favorite gigs and then i'm gonna be a chickpea at the hooky lot on the seventeenth of august and then my uh... you know me at the willber so a lot of people now you can have new stuff it's been six months i'll have a few new things

i'm i'm trying to you know but i always fuck off so it's gonna be a fun time no matter what i've had people see me eight times and eight times I've never had somebody walk out and go and you book and suck this time. I'm funny every fucking time you see me. So the 18th of August, Boston Wilbur Theater, get your tickets now. They're selling real good. Make sure you get your tickets now because to get the good seat. So you're not sitting up on the fucking mezzanine looking down. So that's the 18th and you know Robert Kelly at Robert Kelly, Robert Kelly live, make sure what else do we got to promote? We want to Amazon Gamefly, Love button and

Love spin, the Yowls of fitness and Curien Shreemout. The Curien Shreemout guys have been really good to us. Yeah, Curien Shreemout, make sure you go check them out. And you know, support all your fucking local comics and stop being consman. If you see one of our comics If somebody you like or somebody you don't like getting fucking You know told what to say and how to say it and you get a fucking stick up for these people I don't care if you like them or not. We got to be able to say whatever the fuck we wanted to find the funny We might not always find the funny. We might fuck up on the way there but we got to be able to try so

I don't really want wanna end the fucking show on a statement from me. It'd be funny if we all just got gang right right now. There we go. Good night, boys. You know what I'm eating? I'm stuck in the water, I'm in the water You know what I'm eating? I'm just rock, I'm just rock, I'm just rock

You know what I'm eating? Really dude, really, really, really You know what I'm eating? Don't stop filming my face, don't stop Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincindia aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, a Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com.

por prenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com.