Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Double Wide

Episode Date: March 7, 2016

This week on YKWD:  Bobby is stuck in Boston, but the show must go on! We bring in Kevin Brennan and Lenny Marcus (from the new hit podcast, Misery Loves Company!) to take the reigns. We also have Dan Soder on the show! Watch/Listen and enjoy! RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night. Con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 grados. ¿Yor listening to Robert Kelly's? Y no lo sé, dude. ¡On the Riotcast Network!

Riotcast.com. ¡Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth! ¿Es que es una costa? ¡This podcast has no rules. I'm not gonna talk to the mic asshole. I'm sure I've already said should I regret it? Can I get a microphone? No!

What the fuck is that? Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! From the studio high up up the Comedy Cellar in New York City, this is a crazy mashup. Misery loves company and you know what, down with Kevin Brennan, Lenny Marcus taking over Bobby Kelly's podcast with his array of people here as well. But we have Liz Fioriotti, who's always on our podcast. We have Deepu here on the board. Yo. We have Coco producer, Coco fresh.

Coco fresh. And we have Scopo, of course. Hey, Lenny, how are you? We're producing number two. And our two guests today that Bobby has booked for us. Dan Soder. Hi. What a backhand to Colin Bray. Yeah, right? Of course, hey Lenny, oh yeah, producer number two and our two guests today that Bobby has booked for us dance soda Backhand the column yeah You're like the kind of dad that's like yeah, and it's my friend's son Mitch and you're just like isolated me

It's like an arranged marriage. Do you want you want to take? No, not really. Okay. Well, you're taking this is who we drew I know choice like I got you guess and Mike Albany's thanks coming in. I don't know Mike at all I'm the I'm the friends friend I barely made it on to the there you go. You just push it on us like I'm bringing Mike dad Dude, I love that Bobby set this up as like I love how he spins everything He's such a spin master like did you got through the podcast you've been on in a while? I sure he's like now. I'm not gonna be that it's gonna be loving letting like, did you got to do the podcast? You've been on in a while. I show up, he's like,

now I'm not gonna be there. It's gonna be loving, loving, and Kevin. And you said it was just like your dad. Yeah, he did. He really like, he was sending me to show up for my T-Ball game and then just disappeared. Nice. I'm sorry, you're stuck with us.

No, I like it. I was saying, I haven't heard your podcast yet, but just even listening to you and Kevin talk. Well, this is how it works, you said. I'm gonna set it up for you guys if you haven't heard it. I basically intro like we do. Yeah. I give something to Kevin. What do you and Kevin talk. Well, this is how it works, you say I'm going to set it up for you guys if you haven't heard it. I basically intro like we do. I give something to Kevin. What do you got Kevin?

And then we don't talk for an hour. Yeah. That's a great thing. Awesome. You chime in a little bit. I do chime in a little bit. We have to be moving. Yeah, but because there's only three of us.

So somebody has to talk, right? Right. And you're always like, hey, but. No, he's always like, that's a good lady. No, he's done like, that's all he's learning. No, he's just on the side. Well, boy, I think that maybe someone's so is good. Yeah, maybe Asians aren't so bad.

Yeah. Kevin's like, no, I stink. I feel like he's like a fighting dog, and you just run the stick along the cage. And then he just like, fuck, he's not the stick. And he really annoys me. But not that I really, you know, hate him, he's really annoying. Yeah, come in. Like he's never drunk, he's never voted, he's like a...

He's never voted. Like, here's an example, here's an example. I go, voting is never drunk at all. No. So then last night, last night I go, Lenny wants me to live tweets to Grammys and I don't want to do it, you know? But then I go, I go, okay, I'm going to work out. So I was on the treadmill. I figure I watch it while I'm on a treadmill. So I go, Lenny, what channel is on it goes? Channel 2, like he's seven years old. Channel 2! There's channel 2 and channel 5. It's not channel 2. It's CBS. You fucking idiot.

This is where I turned out. Yep. CBS you fucking idiot. This is where I turned out. Yep Well, you shouldn't have done it. Is it different out there across the river? Is it not channel two? CBS is it CBS is not channel two. Oh, I'm sorry I didn't think you were bright enough to know what CBS would translate to so I made it very easy one Two, but maybe where I'm live. It's one like right yeah, that's the HD. HD is always Yeah, it's always we're gonna out in a gym on the treadmill who's doing a treadmill at 9 p.m. I do cuz I got a fucking try to relax It's Kevin and politicians I'll read you that tweet, but go ahead all right now. All right, and you did you tweet at all? Nothing.

You did. You threw it in there. Kendrick, uh, Kendrick Lamar. Yeah. Yeah. I said it right away. What do you think? I said it right away. What Kendrick Perkins saying. I thought it was pretty good. I thought he sucked. Yeah. Of course it's pretty good.

What are you gonna say? He sucks. Then he's down in your racist. Okay. You are. Can you sing us one of his songs, Chris? It's gonna be all right. Can you, and you can wrap that without a melody? It's gonna be all right. Can you and you can wrap that with all the Melody it's gonna be all right and then the fucking keeps going. I don't know Words that explanation

Yeah, I actually found out Dan has a joke about and that's how I heard the song. Oh really? I was humming the song all last night. I couldn't get the song. The melody was so beautiful It's great to get out of my head. I got a I was on mushrooms at Bonneroo and I was having free. I like how you have to preface that. Well I was freaking out. I was coming on glued and we went and watched Kendrick Lamar perform and I was really like at the end of my brain space and then he did that song and I was like it is going to be alright. And I ended up having a great trip. Nice. This was Kevin. I was like, I was like, a small mushroom store. Lenny, you ever had mushrooms? No.

I'm like, this is fun. I don't even eat regular mushrooms. I like them at my boss does. No, it don't. Did you, did you, as a kid, did your mom take the crust off your sandwiches for you? Yes. I like the crust.

All right. I like the crust. Do you like the crust on pizza? I don't. Yeah, yeah. All right. They would take the sandwich off. You would have just eat the crust. I just eat the crust. Mother, I would just like the off. You would have just eaten cross. I just did the cross.

Mother, I would just like the crust. No, but I'm famous in my house with just peanut butter, no peanut butter and jelly. Why, you want jelly, you want jelly, you want jelly? You want jelly. What do you, how do you cope? Like, how do you cope with that? Where do you get that?

How do you get that? I imagine right before Lenny gets ready to have sex and goes like, we don't have to use economies like, I prefer if we did. I was going to have to. You want to use a condom? Yeah, I'm really feeling it. You know, now where you've been.

Number one, I've actually have said that. Absolutely. Pigeon. Pigeon? Not Tegina, whatever Gina wants. Yeah. If it's all right with you, I just feel like unprotected sex could feel too good.

You could be a mental patient, so. Me? No, I'm so young. So what she's saying? What? What she's saying to me is that I was putting it on. Yeah, she's, they all get taken aback, but then they sort of get like,

oh, he's very responsible. Like, I'm like, all right, you respond. I kind of lose kind of. It'd be great if a girl just laid her head back. She's like, just throw it in, dork. Yeah. She's hurting. She's hurting.

You know what, that'd be tight. I'm sitting in. I want to go home As long as there's no jelly involved that's long as it no jelly like jelly. I don't like it In with my then it to dry. I thought you were still talking about sex. Yeah, I miss the Call that you use jelly and a Okay, I get it. Do I was like, I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding.

I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding.

I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding.

I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was a kid. When you were a kid, you just have peanut bread today. That was my lunch. I was just making peanut bread. Were you an oaky? Were you raised out on a farm that was collapsing? Who just has peanut bread? He didn't sell enough newspapers.

Yeah, he couldn't afford it. Well, Lenny, it looks like the crops didn't come in this year. So it's gonna be another year of just sandwiches with peanut butter and bread. No jelly mom. Yeah, you didn't watch all, man. It's crazy. I put on it.

It's like afternoon theta where you guys doing impressions and stuff. Yeah, I can finally, I know. I hate it because I can't do it. Yeah, all right. I think you're just going to say, hey, then I was going to get super insecure. Yeah, I hate it. I hate it. Anybody has a skill I hate it.

I meet a jugger, I'm like that prick. Yeah, I did a poem before he almost lost his mind. It was great. He's dumb. Now, when does poems he close around? How long do you do a poem before he almost lost his mind. It was great. Please don't. Now let's just palms, he closed around. How long do you do it for? Valentine's Day. That's it.

No, you don't do a pose Valentine's Day. Like, there's what I did on Valentine's Day. No. It's after. I would milk it a little bit. Yeah. Otherwise, you have no closer. Yeah.

Ah. Wait, but can you do it before Valentine's Day? Yeah, Valentine's Day is coming up. Yeah, I get about like a week. Yeah. Okay. Then you can do it after Valentine's Day. But like, I have Valentine's Day. Yeah,. Yeah, I get about like a week. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so you can do it after Valentine's Day, but like I've found like a couple of. Yeah, but that's like, I would do it.

Do you write new ones every year? I try and write one new one every year, yeah, at least. So I wrote two, one. Do you have like a day where you like put on a cup of coffee and put on love songs? No, it just hits me. Like here it comes. Like the one I wrote for Kevin's wife.

What? Oh, all right. It just came to me this morning while I was waking up. Like, this is a bit of hot bars. That's what I call. That's what I call. That's what I call. That's what I call.

That's what I call. That's what I call. That's what I call. That's what I call. That's what I call. That's what I call. That's what I call. That's what I call.

That's what I call. That's what I call. That's what I call. That's what I call. That's what I call. That's what I call. That's what I call. That's what I call. That's what I call? That's what I want to know. He does. Yeah. You have his address. I have a friend there. Lovely home.

Because they all did a thing. We're like, the thing at the end of the song, like a map of Africa and then Compton. I'm like, I passed out because it was too heavy for me. But seriously, I'm like, does he live in Compton? He still does that. He really? He's got like a nice condo in Compton. I just see Kevin on the treadmill screaming at the TV

His tax forms But I just I'm watching awards last time like this really what these people need is awards like they already have a nice lie I've done it making a lot of money bang and bitches like given awards. How about the fucking mail man? Who's not getting any award? We should give him a Grammy? How about the fucking mail man who's not getting any award we should give him a Grammy? Do you want to just just need a war? Yeah, it's like these are the last guys who need awards. There's guys that are already doing good. Yeah, but right most mail man Probably suck as people my mom's boyfriend was a mail man. He was a piece of garbage The way your mom's boyfriend was everything, you know, like you've had a boyfriend of she was it was like my mom

My mom had boyfriends that the way Murphy Brown had secretaries. There you go. That's a very old woman. I like it. I like it. What are you saying, your mom is? She was just out there living life. Yeah.

Friday in a spicy life. No. My mom never had a boyfriend. No, she was married. No, she was, but I got divorced at some point. And then she never got, yeah, she never got a boyfriend. That's like, That's like that's a very I was told you about. A very Irish thing is to go down with the ship where you're just like no yeah I almost had a spite you're like yeah I should have a better personal life. She's keeping that feel those feelings in. Well my dad my dad

actually started dating but he actually got remarried and never he didn't invite any of his 10 kids to the wedding. Seriously? Yeah. What does that tell you? He don't like him. Bingo. But that's also that is kind of the most boss move I've ever heard him out of life. He's like, well, now I'm going to have my previous strikes show up. He went, oh, I know.

I know. That's what I used to say. Because when my mom will come when they're like first God separator, whatever, I'd say my dad, because my dad was like a narcissist. And he would, I would say that if he was on a date His his date would say do you have any kids from your first marriage? He goes 10 But they won't get in the way of this beautiful Don't worry

I'm a great guy, but I don't have any contact with them. Don't worry about it. Yeah, but I'm still a good dad Yeah, but only yeah in a way that I remember he married her for like they married for like six months He married someone in his building which I respected Convenience I don't even think he moved in with her and then I got divorced and then And then she my dad said she she had mental problems right she's the problem She's the weird one started talking to you after the divorce. Yeah, I'm back to He opened up a little bit after he's like I. He started talking to you after the divorce. Yeah. Coming back around with him for help. Yeah, he opened up a little bit after he's like, I need you guys to show up at the divorce

proceedings. All ten of you. We need to show numbers. Did he call you by Kevin or is he number three? He didn't. Hey, three. I just want, I just want, some day say my mom's boyfriend. Yeah.

Her mom's boyfriend. That's my new goal. I've said it my whole life. Mom's getting late. It's so dirty to me being a Catholic. Yeah, that's why. Plus you guys are the male you know I'm millennial, are you 32? I don't know what you are. But anyway, saying your mom's boyfriend is just so fucking weird to me. Yeah, I was boyfriend. It was very uncomfortable when I was growing up and you'd be like at a friend's house and I'd be like, oh Joe, my mom's boyfriend's coming over and they'd be like, oh your mom's boyfriend you're like,

all right I got it. They say it out loud and you're like, what are you calling her slut? You got a problem? Mr. Poil? You want to get popped in the throat? She's still single. So did you ever settle down with somebody? No. She got remarried for five years and then it's just had boyfriends since I was like 11. Oh my god, so you went through that whole relationship? Which you got remember when you were little? Yeah, my parents split up when I was five. My mom got remarried when I was seven. Oh my God.

Until I was 11. Did you still want you to meet the boyfriends? Like even now, it was a joke. We have a process now. I'm like an old baseball scout. I'll always show up if a guy's really got five to one. Yeah. I'm like, what's this?

I was like, does this curveball move? Like yeah, I'm like what's this I was like does his curve ball move Like yeah, I got show up and then she had one Mom hot though. Yeah for 68 she looks good 68. Yeah, I like an older women, but that's nice She's a yeah, she's a she's a she's dating dudes in their 70s now good for her Which is good because I know if they sass me I can just fucking throw a nice right right straight to the hole Yep, you know, a little jab. Yeah, a jab a hit Hopefully to pay off and she marries somebody older and richer and then you end up with the school where she meet But where she meet? Where's at 60 where she meet people?

I can't say it's match.com That kind of stuff really Swipe really slow I have a whole joke about it. She used to like, date out of the classifieds. So you'd find these newspaper clippings and you'd be like, oh, this is a trail of dick. No. Why? Why do you use like, ass, what are the abbreviations? You mom was like, you should just put like, just down to fuck.

Yeah. Got a kid, heavy sleeper, down to fuck. Wow. Rikes toys. Got his own tea. But my dad was also dating, and that was super easy to deal with. Of course. That's way easier.

My dad had like a hot girlfriend and he'd be like, all right, Gary. No. Good for you, dude. Cheryl, I remember this one girlfriend he had and he'd be like, all right Gary. Good for you dude. Cheryl, I remember this one girlfriend he had that it was just like the hottest thing ever. Really? And I was like, 10 and I was like, I get it. I don't know what you guys do, but I get it.

I had no three sums with your dad. Yeah, watch him come on in here. Let me teach you something. We'll have the talk right now. I got this whore here. Yeah. It's like I got my hands full, but we can get a lot done see what this is doing in there Now she's not like most people

No condom can we want to go and tell? What's his status now is dead? My father's dead to actually bring it up. They bring it now. He died when I was a kid He died when I was like 14 Yeah This is got so much pussy he died I'm pussy over He literally did but I'm not joking when I say he literally did die because of pussy He dated this like super white trash chick who gave him hepsi and he just kept drinking till he got cirrhosis

No, yeah, got real. Oh, dark. But she was like super white trash. Her name was Jeanette. She lives in a trailer? Yeah. Missing teeth. Double wide. Did you stay in touch with her?

Double wide. The last piece, the last feather you bet. The last connection. That's a great pornotitle. Double wide. Yeah. Because it's like a double entente. Yeah. Double for it. Yeah, double entendre. Yeah, double for it.

Yeah, double, double, double. Double, double, double. It's quite triple something. Yeah, yeah. All right, well, this is a title for you. He's white rash and he's got a big deck. Oh, boom. There it is.

You're welcome. I love me. Let's start taping. And it's just a bunch of scratchy carpet and bad couches. I have some follow-ups from a couple of things. We dwayne read this the only thing Kevin and I have in common We found out when he had a Dwayne read why they have the worst point system coupons

Not like CVS which is far superior you just put your number in the Gigi coupon No, no, listen you know gives this camp maybe on something else on sale But don't give you know a CVS coupon you just earn fifteen dollar coupon. I literally been going you know why cuz Walgreens just bought them Yeah for like seven months, right? I said balance rewards account number whatever you have point this many points and it says points to five dollar award 5,210 for a $5 award for five How angry did you have that's like I got a show Kevin you practically got to buy the store to get a fucking discount $5.00 now how many do you have now where 5,000 is gonna lead into that like I must have like at least five

That is probably you get near 5,000 and then they make it 10,000 There's playing a carrot in the stick or whatever I'm trying to say you know In the stick no how much'm trying to say you know In the stick no how much is it how much is a bottle of shampoo that he points is that It's what I think it's they don't even tell you there's no way to figure it out. It's like it sucks Don't do the math it's not it sucks It's a yes you get a coupon everything I'm looking for sponsors, but they're far so here We'll take them We can get sell some condoms for them.

That was one 10,000 points. We'll get a 30 second rate. Yeah, we'll do that. No, but CVS, I got a discount every week. Every week. I know. The Dwayne Reed doesn't need you. That's right.

The Dwayne Reed does need you. That's why they're so stupid. They're down. When Chris is called it, they've been bought out. If I wander around. They're bought by Walgreens. Will that do anything? I'm going to guess now.

They bought it out a year, like a year ago. It's been a while. Yeah, it's been a while. They won't, they're just... CVS kicks the ass. CVS kicks the ass. Yeah. So there you go, this might be.

She's a team CVS. This is team, this is the only thing we have in common. Really? That's it. That's what we find. That's amazing. CVS better fucking sponsor you guys. You should.

You should. No, and now that kind of language. Well, that's all I've got. You're a fucking go to CVS every time. Fucking sponsor you guys No, no that kind of language Fucking go to CVS every time I suck my dick CVS jump on board Kind of the CVS when you're sucking. It's just a fuck fest at CVS. We got double-eyed Hot big hogs moms that want dick ring this is the way we both got your CVS won't touch you It's sad mom will be there That what dick ring this is the way we both got your CVS won't touch you The first 20 people that come here Jesus guys That's harsh

I don't think that's gonna happen We spoke about what did we talk about earlier today Liz what would let throw it out to the gang? What did we what a Kevin are Kevin Yell about? Cam Newton. Oh, Cam Newton. I came in with Kanye West. Kanye West. We didn't even get to Kanye West.

He's cracked the surface. What do you think, Kevin? You see him tweet at Mark Zuckerberg? Yeah, he wants to bill you. He wants to bill you. He wants to bill you. Now, if you're Mark Zuckerberg sitting there, call him.

What goes through your head? You call him. I give him a phone call. What? Yeah, call him. What do you got, Kanye? Let's hear your pitch, Kanye. What goes through your head? You call him. I give him a phone call. What? Yeah, I call. What do you got Connie? Let's let's literally want to know where you let's hear your pitch. Let's hear your pitch. Yeah, you want to if you want to mentally lose your mind on Twitter. I feel like if I was Mark Zuckerberg, I'd be like, what's up? Yeah, I've got these outfits. Nobody I'm gonna be Connie. I got these outfits. Nobody. What do you think the space man outfit? Yeah, these weird shoes. Plant at the end of planted of the apes.

you think the Space Man outfit, these weird shoes. At the end of Planet of the Apes, that's what all of this clothes look like. Everyone in the play, like when they have like Charlton Heston in those rags. Right. And it's like walking dead. Someone made that comparison. It's perfect. It's like a zombie movie. That's what he thinks everybody's going to be walking around in.

Well, he's right, because the zombies will rise. And so that's it. The clothes. I've got clothes. And I've got my, my, my, right, because the zombies will rise. And so that's it, the close. Then I've got close, and I've got my, my, my, my, my, his music. I got my music. But he also said like, didn't he release like a graph of something he made where he was like 10 years ago, like, I want to make hoverboards and I want to make all this shit. I got PowerPoints.

Yep, that's all he's got. I think it's a good opportunity for that age drug guy to get back in the good graces of people. We should give him a money. He offered him $15 million to buy the rights to life of Pablo and Kanye said no. Because he wants to hunt. He wants a billion. I guess so, yeah.

But what is Kanye broke from? That's the thing. From his clothing line. From his clothing line, yeah. Well, no, he puts so much money into it to get a go. Yeah, maybe a very sneaker should have be $400 each. But people are buying them. Who? So people are buying them. The retail game is this fuck though. You call so much money to be in retail. Yeah. Ask to ask Dwayne Reed. They're out of business now. Yeah. Dwayne Reed came. Maybe Walgreens

will buy Kanye. We didn't go live on our first thing did we know? No, we weren't my share our silverman Oh, all right just the coincidence smelly Kant Yeah yelling on right now literally just no no she's text to me just now great said you're you're terrible at Promoting your pocket you are and I should go how am I terrible because you never mentioned the name of the podcast where Anyway, hold on once I let me fill these guys in and Bob's people Kevin went off every week Kevin just sort of sneaks in stuff to me like during the week like I'm going after Sarah this week Okay, and then I we just leave it until we get on here So this week was because she's very liberal she goes before I

So this week was because she's very liberal. She goes before I, Kevin wanted to retweet on the podcast to help out just got 72 billion followers on Twitter. Can I just tell the facts instead of like you being stupid? And then Kevin, she was like, let me listen to it. We launched last Sunday and we're number five on Thursday on iTunes. Okay. Killing the game. So anyway, so I'm like, okay, well, I know Sarah has a lot of Twitter followers and she lost

her virginity to me. We're friends. I said her, I'm not making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop. You know what I'm making a stop I lost my virginity to Kevin Brennan in this school. She's not lying. She just said it that like you heard a name driving she vagina dropped it was she was just like

Oh, but she said it's so sweet of like 36th Avenue. Yeah 28 now you know the funny story about Sarah like I was uh It was like 19 well, I don't know a year was 1990 91 1990, 91, and then anyway, so we were near the train at 36 Avenue and I saw a cab like kind of driving erratically and I kind of push Sarah between me and the cab. Jesus. So she goes, did you just push me,

she just used me as a shield in case the cab jumped the cab, I go, yeah, but I'm taping MTV half hour comedy hour. Two weeks. So my life is more valuable. You got things going on. I got it. And I think it was just instinct.

I got to tape this. It was my first TV taping. So I'm like, I just got to, she was open-migorbed by them. Yeah, she wasn't even down at her lowest point yet. But I didn't really do it. I think I just grabbed her and she kind of made it. And then I made it like, maybe I did. Maybe I did. Did you still have sex with her afterwards?

Yeah, I did I don't have that much sex work because she was young and I didn't really she was too young I'm just saying if sex with Kevin didn't take it to your lowest point. I didn't say that I'm pushing it out around Getting on that train back to Manhattan ever you got late in a story That was it bloodshed that happened before so then she said I said I said can you retweet like like we put out that we're number five or MLS did or what's it in more podcast? This is what she's talking about. MLC. MLC. So I said Sarah can you retweet? They were number five. She said well have to listen first. I can't just retweet and

Then and then we were talking about Cam Newton last week So Sarah goes I don't like the, it's very racist, what you said and blah, blah, blah. And then she sent me the link about the Peyton Manning thing. Yeah, man, how you walked off the field? No, not that about how we... The sexual assault. About how we teabag this...

Athletic trainer. Yeah, trainer. Athletic supporter. That was pretty funny. The member of that used to get the joke to athletic supporter. Allerius. Anyway, so Sarah goes, I can't do it. Athletic supporter. That was pretty funny though. Remember that used to be the joke. Athletic supporter? Alarious. Anyway, so Sarah goes, I can't do it because it's two races.

I go, well, just say that you don't agree with everything I said, but he's funny and blah, blah, blah. So I wasn't even going to pick up a lot from her anyway, because they're all liberal anyway, her fans. So then she said, you know, whatever, blah, I got pissed. So I said, well, I said, Sarah, you, I said, you know, whatever, black I got pissed. So I said, well, I said, Sarah, you, uh, I said, you dated a lot of black guys, right? I said, no, I basically said black guys are so harmless that you date, you dated a lot of black guys, right? Because she dated a lot of guys. That was her reputation before, before she moved to California. You starting to see why she won't help us. So I said, Sarah, you dated a lot and then

she got mad. She's like, you're a piece of shit blah blah blah blah. Because my point is like, with everything, like just, it's talk is cheap. Like if you look black, dude, it's datum. Okay. Like if you love searing refugees, take them into your house. Oh, well that's like, that escalating. No, it's not.

It's like just fucking do it, just do it. But Kevin, her point is that you don't tweet. No, because I write kind of manion. So I, if I'm racist, if I'm racist, then I'm like, okay, they're in my house. Yeah. I live with them. They're in my house.

I'm not like, oh, I think my wife's not white and I don't like like Lanny's wife. Like she's not just some white woman standing around going like, let's, like, I'm living it. I'm living it. I'm living it. You're in it. That wasn't

the point. Anyway, we did this, did the podcast earlier. Kevin told all this information. And then somehow we don't go live with it. We're not like we are now live on streaming. Somehow from the, the world that just went out to the universe. She called me a smelly contest. That's kismet. No, she said, she said smelly contest. Five to me five seconds she said she said something about my podcast and so I don't know how she knows like no's maybe it's out there maybe I've like I might be my telepathic uh um powers there's been extra strong today whatever it is so she's not gonna retweet doesn't sound like I want you to call somebody a smelly cunt I don't think that's I think there's nothing that he's we didn't get a bomb anyway I didn't get a bump anyway even if shey-cut. I don't think that's- I think there's nothing that he's tweeting about. We're so hot and get a bump anyway.

I didn't get a bump anyway. See, even if she did retweet it, I didn't say anything. She didn't retweet it because I didn't say anything that she did. Okay, just plain nice so we can get. No, it's just infuriating. I live in California for three years. They're all full of shit.

I trash them all. I go on OP and I trash them all. OP in Northern, I trash them all. That's a good question. When you do, you did trash. Nick Swartz, everybody. Tom Popp, my brother. Yeah, we apologist. Trashimal opian nor night trash them all that's a good question. You did trash next word say Top pop of my brother Yeah, we apologize. So all our pockets is him doing this

Full of shit hashtag. I'm sorry, but LA. Do you find that in LA people that they're very politically correct? They don't want to make it. They don't want to be liked. Yeah. Oh, yeah, every time I meet them Yeah, they want this place, but then you go to LA. They don't want to be liked. That's the theory. Yeah, every time I meet them, they come here and they're like, they want this place. You never even fucking heard of it. But then you go to LA, they can be kind of cold. Mm. Like, you know, from New York out. But they're just like, oh, okay.

They're just very judgmental. They move past you. I don't think people here are very peaceful. I said, I said, a group of comics is hanging out, said that I thought that Indian girl was a boy because she had a lot of hair on her neck. said that uh... uh... i thought that indian girl was a boy she had a lot of hair on her neck people look to me like i was an asshole for making an observation

where were you we're in ruins the case uh... your n-y-u but it's hanging out with comics made just a simple observation i didn't like tell the girl that well the world is getting more and more plet we see this in comedy to it's

getting pulled more politically correct yeah i think uh... did you see triumph the insult dog school to that college and they it was so fun watching how awkward they were because it's like they don't it's like the speaking a different language basically that they can only do it as a dog that's the point you can't do it as a white man

like whatever whoever's what's in the guys that he can't do it He's got to be a dog. He's got to be like a lovable or hateable pet That's what I know you even only the other day. No, the other day said he goes He's talking to me and boss he goes you guys like the last of a dying breed because in the future You won't be able to like do the jokes won't be able to be mean anymore You know I mean so I don't know if he's right or not. But the point is that like you can't say shit and in LA they're all PC because they're not even like worried about comedy. They're worried about like their agent or development deal. So they all got to be

likable. Like guys come here and they go this guy's the greatest. This guy's a fucking great and I see him like it's the same boring shit. You know you know I'll name a name, but it's the same boring shit. God. Yeah, I know what you mean. Because it's like, it's like for LA, it's edgy or LA, it's like, it's like, and then they come here and then you're like, it's not interesting at all.

It's not interesting at all, because it's like very predictive. Well, it's also like, it's like commercial edged. It's commercially edgy. I wouldn't even say there's, I didn't really seem to be like, there's ever any edged with it. It just seems to be like performance and like fun

and like chewy for the audience with their like, oh, but then they come here and the audience is like, nah, I don't know. A lot of them name, I don't know. They don't. What's the guy who just did a thing for HBO with a Judd Apatel? Pete Holmes?

Yeah, Pete Holmes. So he goes on, I actually have a, I actually have a, I can't even say this now. I'm kidding. That was great. He's like like I'm gonna name names. Yeah I was being LA. I'm sorry Pete here it comes no. Yeah, I can't say it. All right. That was it. Oh wait Maybe I can't know I can't yeah Think about that for a week. No, anyway, some people were coming to see me yes

And then they were saying and they I can't say it anyway, but yeah, I think it's I think this is just a phase I hope it's a phase Well, it said like you know there was a lot of PC culture in the early 90s when Clinton first got an office That's what I was gonna ask you will the pendulum swing if we're public lens get back in office Uh I don't think it's gonna swing depending on who's on office. I think it's when it just needs to cut it You're talking about the early 90s. Were you doing stand up in early 90s? No, I wasn't. Well then show your fucking pot.

Oh, fair enough. Well, fair enough. Fair enough. I was trying to say that it could be a pendulum instead of just saying we're fucked in a deal. No, it's the pendulum because it was like, it's like, if you look at, I mean, I blame, you know, like NBC with Jimmy Fallon Seth Mice

because they're not doing comedy. Yeah. I Seth Mice, because they're not doing comedy. Yeah. They're not doing comedy. I agree with that. Because they're not doing comedy. And they're, that's, in the old days, you used to try to get on, like, these shows. These are the most, you know, Jimmy Fallon's show is watched

by so many people that like, if you get on the show, they're gonna think like that's comedy or something. Like, you could do something on Netflix and be like, really edgy, but if like, if the the you're saying the mainstream is the mainstream. Thanks. This is comedy like Jimmy fell in this comedy and and then like who he puts on his comedy then like you know when I started it was like David Letterman. The guys who on David Letterman were considered comedy.

Yeah, I was like much edgy. But do you think like even in like the mid 80s when you look back and you see all those comics that were just like it was so hacky and gross and is this this this version of that is this our version of what do you mean who we're got overblown And where you see like you you know that was a late 80s. I'm talking about my first started like all the comics were good I agree with that right and I think let him and kept to edge up almost clear to the day that he retired not really But I'm saying that's Eddie brills fall but almost clear to the day that he retired. Not really, but I'm saying. That's Eddie Brill's fault.

But, and, like, end of it. No, I'm letting him into face, because Eddie and, and, and, let he's in that group. Yeah, but I never got booked by Eddie Brill. Oh, you didn't? But I'm saying, like, do you think this is part of the bloat? Is this part of, like, this PC culture?

Is this part of, like, the thing that'll go away? No, I think it's because of, I think it's because, like, people today getting older, they think that think that like if you make a joke about you know women or gay people or black people or Indians that It's not it's not right back in a day. Yeah people didn't think it was a problem They're just like yeah, so now the jokes now the jokes have to be better But even if they're better some like you can't watch all in a family anymore Oh, do that watch it all in a family anymore. Oh, dude I watch an old episode of that you know, but in shock right?

I mean, I feel like you never say that You can't do that show. Yeah, I oddly enough listen to an old jerky boys album Which is just playing phone calls, but you're just like there's no fucking way you could do that now There's no way you could do that now call pizza place. So you're gonna bomb them Like there's no fucking way you could do that. That's pizza places, so you're gonna bomb them. You're like, there's no fucking way you could do that. Well that's a different issue. Yeah, but it is, I mean, yeah, you're right, the joke has to be better, but there's gonna be audiences

that just don't respond to it at all. You can get away, you can, you look, Kevin is a perfect example, if you're on the line, it's just the line has moved closer and closer. I mean, I can get away with it a little bit because my wife's Hispanic, so I can do like jokes. There you go. So I can get away with a little bit because my wife's Hispanics, so I can do like jokes. There you go. So I can get away with a little bit,

but I'm just saying like even at the village underground here at the cellar where they have a lot of big groups of women and because they always book big groups over there, right? Don't they send big groups over there? No, we don't send big groups. What if there's a group of eight women? Tampa night.

No, are you gonna send to the underground versus the common cellar? We don't send people anywhere. People make reservations. No, but you can't take a big group of eight women. Tampa night. No, are you gonna send to the underground versus the common seller? We don't send people anywhere. People make reservations. No, but you can't take a big group of eight at the common seller. You can take groups up to eight at the seller. Okay, so okay, so that's my point. Yeah, so what you're going to be.

Oh my God, I didn't take it. It took that long to fucking get the answer. I mean, the big group. Big 10 groups of 10 anywhere. Yeah, sure. Underground. Underground. Underground.

So women like to go out and groups, especially here the sellers like the hotspot, they go, there's like a group of 12 women. And they're all, they're biased against, you know what I mean? They're biased towards a certain kind of joke. And biased against a certain kind of joke. Like I've called my wife, like the other not, I said, my wife says like curse too much,

but she's a content anyway, you know? Like that wasn't even a joke, I just said that. I just curse too much, but she's a content anyway, you know, like, like that wasn't even joke. I just said that. I just said that anyway. It's like a joke. And like, I said it as an adlib, so but I'm not gonna use it on my act cause it's hacky,

but they're all like, if I did as a thing, they'd be like, well, you can't say that, you know? Wow, they do that. No, they just be like, no, they don't even do that. They just look at me like, like, we're not gonna laugh at that. They turn off, they turn the switch. Yeah, they just go like, okay, he's a dick and blah, blah, blah, you know. So that's why I do jokes about,

I say do jokes about kids because there's no kids in the audience. You know, you don't lose the demographic, you know. But they even started to get sensitive about that. They get a little, but most people in New York, they don't have kids, right? So. No, but they understand the angst of, I think most people still give you that.

Yeah, they get that, but my point is,'s it's very like it's getting harder and harder and it's just like you Like you just you just I mean you can say whatever you want on Netflix or whatever But even if you say something people are like oh and and everybody because of the internet People can just get a cause go and you know, I mean Yeah, and that's why the war is easier those writers on Fallon and I know some of those guy Fallon. Great writers. Great writers, but they he will not take anything that's too edgy.

And it's like, yeah, I mean Colbert, I watch Colbert and Kimmel. Oh, he's the edgiest. Yeah, and then you turn on Fallon. Fallon and you're like, oh, it's for children. It's like Sesame Street at night. Founds big as bid is playing kids instruments. Like you can't get anymore.

Or even like flip cup. It's like bar games with celebrities. But it's with Channing Tatum. So it's interesting. No, but it's totally safe. It's the safest thing you can possibly do. Yeah. It's pretty bright.

Because people like him. He's the one of the guys. He kills. But it's almost like the high fructose corn syrup of where you're like, that's not real. It's just like You know, imagine it, but that's what people think but he like Kevin said he's setting the standard so what he thinks is real So if he has a comic on that's kind of in that realm that falls under the his umbrella People like well, that's that's what it is now. So do you think this becomes the end of comedy on late night?

Do you think well? I mean, I hope anybody yeah, I haven't seen a standup comic on. I want I hope people understand that. He really, Conan is the only one that does it. The last one on the, the last one on Fallon was, I think I ran any Syfax. Did they not have a booker anymore? I don't know.

They have a booker. It's on a crunch. No, no, not anymore. Not anymore. For a while. So they, yeah, they're not putting stand-up comics on. Conan is the only one doing it. Yeah, the Seth isn't even doing it.

He lost his book or left. That's it. Let's not even replace. They don't even replace. Yeah. I mean, I think that's a bigger, yeah. We're just watching them. Well, I mean, I think that's better.

To be honest with you, that makes it even more. Let's go see stand-up comedy. TV killed stand-up comedy for a while. Yeah. And so now when people come down there and you do do that, and they do respond to Kevin, you know, you're nitpicking on some of these audiences because most of the time you're just murdering.

To the point of nobody's following this. Right, right. So the people do want to see this. People do want to see it. Go watch career follow me. Greer plays, he does comedy like a team, like a great team does, like they play the competition. Like if I kill him, I'm like, good luck Greer

and then he fucking totally, he does his pink pond bed. I'm like, oh my god, he's doing the pink pond bed, you know? And then the crowd like, now I know I have seven kids because like I want to suck his dick out. I'm like, oh my god, I thought I fucking, I thought I was gonna give him a prom and he just like, you can send me this laugh for that me like I thought he's gonna have a problem with this. That's great. He does. He's got six pack abs too. Have you ever seen him with a shirt off?

That's all he once said he would come to my house and install the bar. It don't matter how he's got him Ladies gotta make an excuse. I mean it it's all, it's all, it's all what. He said all the way up. Pull up. He showed me the, okay, but he still has them. Then why isn't everybody have them? I don't know. He's got time on it.

I don't have time. Even still have time. You have time. I can't, I don't want to do that. You have time. It hurts. Yeah, there it is. They're here.

They're honest responses to the letter. Kevin, just, yeah, you just got them to give it, like I felt like a detective. You know, and also, I don't want to do it. Where were you just got him to give it like I felt like a detective. You know, and also I don't know where you also it is a definite fear that I'll be the one guy when we put it up. I will boom boom. You're not gonna be letting the door frame. I'm just saying that's my favorite thing down. I'll pull that thing down. They don't have to move. I'll just laying on the floor going like that. So that's the biggest reason that's the biggest reason you shouldn't get married

because then you're gonna have to move and that's gonna be a Kevin's not a big advocate of Married now not in New York because you and you got to move you got to move and then he wanted you Okay, you live this life you live it. You don't live nothing. I don't live your life You're still here. You do all the stuff. Okay. You don't know what I did. I'll tell you someday over some fucking cappuccinos You don't know anything you don't know anything. I. I'll tell you someday over some fucking cappuccinos You don't do anything I know have you ever had caffeine Coffee I didn't know that you get by I don't like

Parents do you eat it a reasonable hour skeleton somewhere You could keep trying but now he's got to have something yeah, you never had caffeine You have to have a really bad caffeine. I mean I've had it, but I don't I'm not addicted to it It I feel like you're like a silly I'm not addicted to it either Why you just join the Mormon church if you're already there? No drugs, you know like like at a roll like there's no weird thing that you've got to go now Do you take a night cool when you're sick? When I'm sick. Yeah

If you're feeling sad to be really dangerous If I can't swap you know that thing you can't sleep. Oh, you're gonna die Cool what a car. Least sick guys everybody. Sorry, let's cut loose He's gonna have a little night cool because his throat's closing I like is just gonna kill me because I don't wanna have the ironic death. Yeah. Oh, yeah, one shot of an nickel.

Blood pressure drop dead, found him dead. That's true, because your body's not used to it, right? You might have a bad reaction. Good happen. My body's a former septic tank, so I can take. And his mom dates a lot of guys. Yeah. A lot of jizz was floating through our fucking pipes. So he's saying a lot, he can handle a lot. That. Yeah. A lot of Jesus loads through our fucking pipes.

So he's saying a lot, he can handle a lot. He can handle, that's why he probably never gets sick. I'm an outdoor cat. Yeah. Yeah. His dad has half a talking. He did. No, I'm saying, you had all these warnings in your house.

You didn't have to watch like an after school class. It was right in your fucking house. Your dad's like doing heroin. Every three months I was just getting news about something else to avoid. It didn't work He didn't get scared straight at all. No, but I'm fucking unbeatable. No, yeah, they he doesn't precious He got that out of it. That's what I did That's what gave me the learning to cope I become a character talking another voice. It doesn't you're the other boy. He goes to Rodney

Kids that it does not come in bad That's a good round. I go listen around the all day except today Hey, well, I have you know he's on a show right now. No, that's I don't want to talk about people six it Yeah, I feel the show first of all you Jake's it you Jake's it I'm not gonna walk out the end of the show first of all you jinx it you jinx it I'm not jinx it at the end of the show We filmed it. I just showed about me you cock soccer. We're trying to get Twitter followers true Kevin Brennan 666 How is it how is it I was taking over the show talking about dance hoters excellent career? Let me let me let me He gets one good break after the other

Prussian to you do give me a couple of famous people other running Live part you're gonna be live people no dead. Especially dead. Do they have Twitter accounts? I deal in the dead you know see where I'm going this You want to eat it someone to Sam Elliott have a twin or a kid Sam Elliott has a great to look guys a 20 million followers No, he doesn't follow Kevin Sam will you please does Sam Elliott? Hey Sam? If you happen to have planes or Rocky Mums Kevin Brennan might be one of the most angry as people. Have you ever seen a B-Hive, meet a cobra snake? That's what's happening inside Kevin Brennan's brain. I'd hired him a fight-a-show.

Lanny, have you ever had this? I would never go near that. That is so bad for you. No, I just had it. Those are better than Red Bulls. I just had it. I just had it. I feel a little sluggish after

Chicken kebab that is what I would have I worked at when I worked at a norm McDonald's Sorry, sorry, Dan. I love it. I'm not gonna plug my own show What you show I'm here to celebrate that was canceled that was canceled No, but anyway, I worked on norm McDonald's sports show as a writer So I took one of these like I drank after lunch one time I drank a whole one. I'm like, oh my god, there goes my heart. Yeah. It's a go-up of the bar was like, oh my god. So I just started walking.

I just started walking. I was walking around, we're at a studio, like on Santa Monica Boulevard. I just kept walking till my heart stopped saying, I'm gonna have a heart attack. She's the hardest. Now I drink a half a shot and I do another half a shot. So that's what I'm saying.

I like the taste to be able to do this. I love them. I love them. I love them. If I ever decide to be an idiot, five hour energy just a little bit. When I was a waiter, I was hung over and I drank two of those. One time I was so hot.

That's so hot. I thought I was going to work. I was like, I'll shoot you out of the back. You drank them? And I had to go sit, I had to go sit down downstairs and walk around my hands were shaking. Cold. And I was just like, I was smoking cigarettes

like in his witness to murder. And I was like, I gotta go to the good side. I just went a little later. And I was a waiter, same, basically, same story except before that. I was a waiter and I was like, really hung over. And I was put down a cup of tea, this table. My hand was shaking for being hung over.

And the little girl girl the table said Daddy, why is his handshake? I'm like shut up you little Oh Nobody else is gonna say it. You know, just like daddy's you know They won't they can't keep their trap shot watch this like at the school special dad Why is his handshake? I'm like I got a drink and prom I go to college I try to numb the pain little girl

Hey, here's your tea you want to get this tea on the face? You know, see little bitch. prom, I go to college. I try to numb the pain little girl. Here's your tea, you wanna get this tea on the face? You a nosy little bitch. Yeah, I was not happy. You guys are. I was not a good waiter either. I was a terrible waiter. I one time I did a set,

this was right before I quit waiting tables. I did a set here and I walked down to the blue note and Prince was walking in. He like walked in the back door. And I was with a friend and I was like we should go see if princess is gonna Go play and we just sat there drinking until 4 a.m. And like yeah No princess wanted to come watch his drummer, and then I had to wait tables at 9 30 in the morning Wow, and I was I was sweating out whiskey and I remember my managers like it does comeeos it in midtown

Yeah, and I was just sweating it out and my journal manager was like, you smell like your drunk right now. And I was like, it's all coming out. Oh, yeah. And then one of the guys, one of the bros, one of the business guys was like, I have a long night last night. And for the first time, I just fantasized smashing it is head with the water pitcher to the point that I thought I could.

I was like, am I capable of doing this? Because it got so real in my head. I just wanted to beat him to death with this I was a waiter. I would tell you a story when a guy threatened me. No, that's a Wea sketchy been here. Yeah. Alright, that was his best customer. That's Bob. Now I was a waiter at this place in the Midtown and then like in between lunch and dinner

It would be slow. We'd still be open. So it's just like stragglers will come in But yeah, this guy came in by himself and he's sitting there by himself and I'm like the waiter and already you feel like kind of like yeah we're because it's like mono a mono you know so the guy says a guy goes uh I want to get the four cheese pizza and if you don't have it I'm leaving I said don't threaten me sir so he told a manager and I got fired. You got fired? Yeah, but that was that was one of many. That's a great joke.

One of many. Don't threaten me. Yeah, but that's how I felt like if I'm leaving, I'm like, I don't fucking own the place. I don't give a shit to whatever you want. I got caught smoking weed outside the dumpster by a time restaurant I was waiting tables, but we were in the middle of rush,

so I couldn't get fired. That's great. I had a full section, so the owner had to let's watch me be stoned to shit, waiting the tables. Wait, did you get fired? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, but he had to let me finish the shift. That full section was you're gonna do. I would have quit the middle of shit. I was stealing money from that place anyway. I turned my employee card into a manager card. Did they let you have a computer unlocked. That was just. Did they let you have a staff reel? Stromboli.

Have you got fired? No, I have some pretty big tickets. I'm just happy with it. Get it to go. Give it to him to go. It's fired. Scobo, do you have a way table? No, I was an usher, though, on Broadway.

Really? For Broadway plays, yeah. Does that make any money handing out the stuff? No, it was like $40 a show, but it was the best. Because we just got shit faced downstairs in the basement. The whole went up because we had a refrigerator. The songs while they were up, can you hear it? I just want to hear everything.

Yeah, we can hear everything. We had we had we used to get in trouble, we used to play cards and we used to just fucking bad and scream and people could hear us from the fucking stage. See, so I was crying doing a layman's number and I was like, fuck, fucking perotrash downstairs. You're like, no, no, that's not our goals. Hamilton punched me in the face.

Yeah, then we got a pool table, and I know that was bad. Wait, how do you even get a job there? Buddy of mine worked there, and they needed people one weekend, and they asked me to do it, and then he's like, he want to keep doing this, I was like, yeah, this is great. I was born to do this. This is a face. Oh, I was like, yeah, this is great. I was born to do this. This is crazy. Oh, I used to curse out people who sucked.

Like the people were like, that's not my seat. I wanna sit there, and I'd be like, you used to move them. On ground, by the back of the neck, you can go off. He's fucking end you. Cause they always wanted to move up. Cause the people who love Broadway, realize if you buy the tickets all the way in the back, they're like 50 bucks cheaper,

but they know no one's gonna, it's like the section that no one's gonna sit, so they can just move up. And if they were a dick, you'd be like, no, you gotta sit back there. The whole entire time. That's like the baseball game, right? Did you ever do that, Lenny?

Move up. Yeah. Once. Seriously? Seriously? Seriously, Lenny? What? Just once.

What do you do? What do you do? What are you gonna do on your wedding night when Gina gets hammered and stoned? She's not getting hammered and stoned. Yeah, she'll get she'll have a couple of drinks Well, what are what do you mean? What am I gonna do? We're just gonna judge her while she's laying waiting for you to be out cold She gets a she drinks anything now. She headache immediately. What you do flip her over and then you go at it? I don't know I'll document that for you Kevin. I want to do mushrooms with you. No, you don't yeah

I do I feel like open up like a couple people I want to do mushrooms with just to open them the fuck up I'm not in Mike Vecchion I just want to have a cup of tea with Lenny That's too much for him. He's like just careful. Maybe some biscuits Honey vanilla Jive away tables lore. Yeah, I've spent in people's food before Why really that's a real thing? Yeah, there's some guys who would think that was hot I get a lot of drunk guys and one guy

It's my ass ones and I was like, fuck this, and just, right in a second. Where was it, what restaurant? I need Jersey. Of course. You're in Jersey, isn't it? All of you. Any restaurant in New Jersey.

That's seasoning in the... Yeah. But this does have spit on it, Jesus. Yeah, yeah. Is it a red accent? New Jersey. Was it a place where you were wearing less clothes? It was like a hood-stip place? No, no, no, no.

It was just like a regular place. It was actually a nice restaurant. It's your fault for having an ass. I think I saw it. Yeah, putting it near a hungry man. How dare you. She had an ass, your honor. Liz, did you have her way tables?

Briefly. Briefly. Oh, you would have been a fucking terrible runner, but a great colorful runner. I think she's in charge of it. Because Liz would just, I guarantee you're a waiter, they'll just talk shit back. And you're like, I mean, I just, I wasn't good at it.

She did it, she'd be the mean chick from waiting. I was a better bartender. I became a bartender really great. Yeah, cause you control people better when you're a bartender. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was a... I never bartender,

cause I don't like drunk people, like I don't like to conversate with them. Waiting, you could just deal with them and move on. The worst type of waiters are the ones you worked with that gave a shit That made everyone else do were like guys come on and you're like Apparently everybody tells me that you get to some point where it's over that little attitude Yeah, they all get to some point then you have to stop waiting tables because you cannot be that attitude anymore Or your career waiter. Yeah, that's what I have that's a lifer. I said I'm gonna get a real job one day and people scold you like those people. The ones that get mad. It would be real

job. This is a real job. I wait that's not. I'm high constantly and I eat the food as I walk to the table. I got not a job. I got caught eating the leftovers of so many people. That is. That is. I don't give a fuck. I trash. Fuck you. Delicious. That food was when you're on your feet for fucking six hours Yeah, oh yeah, I used to run food. I said okay, but it's Mexican It's finger food to you guys, but I remember one time we had like yeah, empanadas We had a train empanadas There's like this business lunch and I was bringing them around and then like where we put the end the dirty place was under the stairs

And so I took one of the dishes early Under the stairs I was just eating it And then there's lady behind me go sir and I just kept eating Sir Yeah, why she wanted to know where the rest true I was like, you know, it's the worst. Why did she care? She was a customer? Yeah. Why did she want to know where the rest are from? Oh, and I was just fucking shoveling food in my face. When I was a bus boy, we used to always, like,

any good cut of meat. We would save it in like the bread tray, which was warm, you know? Yeah. And so, and somehow, I guess I told my mom or something she found she goes, I don't want, you're eating other people's meat I'm like yeah fucking feed me

feed me I want a 10 The prime rib were you hiding meat in your room or something like that? No, but it was just like I'm like that's a good cut of meat London broil It's gonna butcher shop in this food. Yeah, that was delicious He's like what's gonna happen and if you eat someone else's meat, and it's not pornotalk, what's gonna happen? What's the worst that gonna happen? Hepatitis say, maybe.

Yeah, just makes it stronger. It's usually a headache, and that's curable. Kevin is like taking orders like, I want the rare. Are you sure you don't want that medium? Uh, yes, sir, I'm gonna step in here and say I'm a medium welder. Then another thing happened was, well, another thing happened was we would,

the bus boys would always like We wouldn't make as much money as the waiters and it was a place where you would pool all the tips Yeah, so anyway, so a lot of the other bus boys were like stealing tips and So I never felt comfortable doing it so anyway one time but I really Though all their bus boys were making so much more money So one time I was like fuck it. Let me go for it So so I grabbed like the tip and I put it in like a napkin and then I like crumbled it up and they had it in my hand So the waiter comes up he goes where's the tip? I'm like, I don't know

I don't know and then I open that one like tada Here it is But I was such a like I was like a 15 year old kid So he probably thought like oh, he maybe did make a mistake, but I was like oh god the first fucking time. It's like you don't much or you take a night cool like he OD Not night cool. Yeah, Sherry goddamn night will kill Lenny Marcus. See you're the same. You just don't admit it No, I know cuz I'm no luck Yeah, that's one time I steal a tip and everybody else is like I mean You're this karma. I speak yeah, karmad 15. Yeah, yeah, fucking beat the shit out of you.

You're angry at 15. We want to tell him the Judd Michael story. Go ahead, tell him. No, I can't even, it's not even that good. What is the story? You're mad at, he gets mad. Oh, no, because I'm one of 10. And my only, that's why he stole my birthday to this point

because every time at my birthday, my mom would be like, what do you want? That was the only day she gave a shit about it. Because was the day like she by law had to pay attention to me So I said there was one guy in little league He he was batting average was like five sixty seven and I was like I would suck his dick They'd be hitting like because then my parents would have to pay attention me Yeah, I'd be in a paper all the time and be like oh my god. This is fantastic Just get a bunch of yeah singles and fuck it. Yeah. No. I was a good hitter. Yeah, I don't be in a drunk, but of course

Okay, he couldn't he couldn't take couldn't handle A lot of the best at that when he was 12 no more autographs. Yeah Yeah, so you may you kept stats at 12 years old you know If you get in the paper so it's like you get in the paper you're your somebody and So you wanted to be Judd Michaels. I want to be Judd Michaels guy I hit five sixty seven. I mean, yeah, but then he peaked at nine. That's the problem. 13 years old. He's got a drinking problem. No, that's a problem. Paken early. It's like the high school. Yeah, when you pick early, when you pick a probably today. This is it. A guy wrote in this week to us and said like to ask Kevin to pick on the

Eagles. That's all he wanted Kevin to do is, I like this guy. Yeah, because then I did I say something about the Eagles? No, no. That was it, he was just that he wanted the air. You have to reverse psychology, Kevin. You have to make it look pretty great. Yeah, I didn't get that. I don't know.

I don't even know if he meant the band or that. You know what's a great organization? You know what's a great organization? I think he might have filled out the Eagles, right? Yeah, yeah. That's all you got to do is go. No, I'm from Philadelphia. That guy's going to fucking right in and no Eagles, the band The band. I will. Yeah. Whatever I pick, he's

going to pick the other one. That was one. That was when we had a we had our first email. That was the only email we got. That was the only how we get number five and then we got one email. I don't know because here's this goes back to the Sarah thing. You have to keep saying, right? You have to keep saying right you have to keep saying Your podcast name the Twitter feed. Yeah, let's talk about Bobby show. They said they couldn't find me on Twitter So Kevin Brennan 666. What are you? Lenny Marcus NYC Liz did you get one? No, I didn't get a show answer the county seller. You guys want to give yours? Sure about dance odor Why do you say like that?

He's signed up on time. There's 9,000 Kevin bread is one of the other Kevin Brennan. I'm wanting to say there's a parliament guy. That's a fucking and I say Kevin should get on a plane and stalk them. If I get if I get more followers than her him her him sometime I that's going to be enough for me. That's like my John Michaels 567. But he'll never be Kevin Brennan though because he's verified everything I know yeah but he's Kevin Brennan six six six six that's yeah that is a good one really is can I get verified as Kevin Brennan

Neal's brother can I get it's a long tour did you imagine if the person verifying was your brother and ask him he still wouldn't do it? Oh my god. There's a lot of people. He wouldn't do it. Kevin will be the last person verified on Twitter if it was his brother in charge. I think Kevin brought in 666. It really is.

For the podcast we're doing, because the people they got in the devil. Not really, just a little bit. I don't know if we went to court right now and then. No, because I do shit on people. I'm not really doing it now But when I when I do whatever I name names make him say one nice thing. No, I name names like nobody names They can't name names. That's what I do. I'm the last time I was on a OP or the second time I was on OP

I I should on I should on next words and then he texts me what the fuck you doing and I'm even respond to him That's a light-Late thing. Like, I'm not comfortable with your text, so I'm not gonna respond to it, you know what I mean? If I asked him for something, the reason I shit on him is because when I was out in LA, he said, you know what he should do? He's like, how many Twitter followers do I have?

I'm like, I'm like, at this point, I was trying to get writing jobs. He goes, have somebody like me and Sarah and your brother do the follow Friday or whatever it's all. But then I texted him, I go, can you do the thing this week? And he never responded. So it's like, it's like the conversation never happened.

Yeah. And that's all about light. Like when you're, like when we're talking to each other right now, I'll pretend like we're friendly. And then when I see you on the street, I'll fuck it. I'll cross the other side of the street, you know what I mean? Unlike New York, where the next time I see you, I'm gonna know to get your pissed off.

I just have to say something nice about something to aim you in that direction. And I'm just gonna try to continue that. Right. Yeah, because it's the conversation. But I'm saying, but you can't avoid, you can't, like, I'm gonna see you. So you can't be like, I'll do it,

and then I'll never do it because I may never see you again. Yeah, that's the worst. So hang out in California, you know? Well, it's because everybody's isolated in their own cars driving. Right, and even if you go to the comic club You don't go to that comic club or the other comedy club. We're here. It's more you're gonna see everybody at some point Yeah, you run into everybody. Yeah, plus Kevin's

Philosophy is the avogoda as Tessio. It was only business Okay, I mean, so that's his thing and like yeah, he's got a shit on you. It's only business. It's only I didn't know that But man as code I can't I didn't know that, but- Man, it's code, I can't. I didn't know that, but now I do, because people, people like listen to the podcast, I think they like it when you like, come clean or whatever. Name names? Yeah, when you name names, when you're just like, honest about whatever you send,

they're like, oh, this guy's cool because we know he's not full of shit, yeah. Yeah, whatever happens. They like, this is what they love about Kevin Brennan. He's got the- Sixth of real estate. He's the real estate. He's love about Kevin Brennan. He's got the He's a hundred percent whatever that show. He's not even a hundred percent. He's Real you're too real I still can't do characters if I could do character there wouldn't be doggy Oh, yeah, you know, you know, you know, you know not being a like a voiceover. No, my wife goes why she goes

Because somebody said I had a good voice on a radio and so my wife says who said that? I don't know somebody Right in there's a lot of people out all you need is one person Like somebody said it. That's true. So my wife said I've always said you have a good voice on a radio Why don't you try to do voiceovers? I'm like because voiceovers is like that's everybody wants to do That's the easiest thing you don't have to you doesn't matter what you look like so I'm gonna lose out to like Chris Casey no Chris Yeah, I love Chris he could do he can do any voice. I don't know if you can do any voice I can't do any but you have a good voice anyway. I'm on the top of that you can do you can do characters Yeah, you're gonna get every job that I'm not gonna not wait

I'm gonna get every job not quite because who is the guy who's driving me nuts? There's a guy who did a commercial, I was like, that's Dan Soder. And what? Thomas Hayden Church. I was at him. Yeah, it was the Miller Light commercial. He was like, Miller Light, and you're like,

everyone, I got like multiple texts for people like, dude, fucking go right. Good job. Yeah, good job. You're gonna take me out the dinner, you're getting big paychecks. You're probably your mama car yet. Like, my shit friends back home,

they're like, I did, shit friends back home like, ah dude and then I'm like, yeah, that's not me at all. Brian, Brian Scott McFadden gets a lot of things because then I hear him like, oh, that's it. Yeah, that's him. He does so fadden. He made a billion dollars doing the voice of a sheep going,

man, man, man. For what commercial? That's all he ever do. It's a late page, whatever. But he can do it. Nobody wants a voice over actor who can, who can, who can't do characters, you know? Actually, I met a did I tell you the story when I met I met a

I met a what I I used to warm up at Spence City like 15 years ago 1996 You know Michael J. Fox are Charlie Sheen Spence City Michael J. Fox like the first year That's it It's a great year and so I was and as one, one of the writers, girlfriend, was, you know, she had an agent and she's like, you gotta go meet my agent at Cunningham. They're gonna love you. So the guy to do voiceovers, you know, or whatever. So I meet the agent.

He's telling me blah, blah, blah, blah, you know, what do you blah, blah, blah, blah. And so he goes, or do you think you can do it? I go, I don't know, what are the hours? And that was a joke from spinal tap. Yeah, I know. I know. I'm a little bit. At the end of the movie, he goes,

could you see yourself shell and shoes? Like one of the, not Christopher Gats. He goes, I don't know, what are the hours? But he, so I just thought, like everybody knew everything. It's a joke. It's a joke. So I go, I don't know, what are the hours? Like, it's a joke.

He goes, hold on. He goes, hold on. He goes, hold on. He goes, hold on. He goes, hold on. I'll be right back. He leaves. Somebody else comes and they go, oh follow me.

They take me to the elevator. They just, they escort me out. I'm like, wait, did you guys see the movie? It's so fucking funny. Yes. Did I see the movie? So fucking weird. What's this movie? So she goes, I see the writer, I see the woman at the show, she goes,

how to go and they go, it's gone better. It's gone better than that. What are the hours? Who would say that? Who would say that after a guy basically who take commercial seriously? That's the whole job that takes a seriously, and I'm actually saying, I don't know, what are the hours? Like, who would say that? Yeah, well, they probably, that's their whole job that take the shit seriously, and I'm actually saying, I don't know, what are the hours, like who would say that? Yeah, or they probably, that's what they thought.

They're like, oh, this guy's a fucking psycho. Hey, yeah, Alice, if you could go in the room and take that man to the elevator. But that's how they have guys whacked. They go, they just do his direction, they go, oh, I think he's gonna take me to a bigger conference room. You were pushing people,

you were pushing people. No, I thought they're gonna take me to a big conference room, Yeah. You were a pro-wrestling. You were a pro-wrestling. Yeah. No, I thought they were gonna take me to a big conference room. Like, you're the guy we were looking for, a guy with a little bit of attitude. Oh, we like it. We like how you did. Sass that first guy.

Now, sass all of us. This is Guy Bruce Mironoff. You ever hear of Bruce Mironoff? I've never seen a comedian Bruce Mironoff. No. He's got the best one-mancho I've ever seen. And it's all stuff that's gone horribly wrong like that. He does have a one-mancho.

One-mancho, it's the funniest one-man show, but it's tragic. Like, he got a role on Archie Bunker's place, the show after, and he's just a lawyer. So he, I don't want to, you got to go see the show, but he gets fired, and they don't tell him, but he comes in the next morning for work, or whatever, and he's ready to go, and he's there early.

He's there before anybody, so they let him in, because they saw him from yesterday, they let him in, and he's on set, and he's there early. He's there before anybody so they let him in because they saw a man Brun from yesterday they let him in and he's on set and he walk he goes to make up and he's just sitting and People are like no and nobody's talking to him. Everybody's looking down like he doesn't know we got fired He doesn't know he got fired. So this is you know 25 years ago. They're all sudden not finally some Person goes there's a phone call for you on the stage It's on the stage itself. There's a phone on the wall and this is a phone call for you. On the stage, it's on the stage itself, there's a phone on the wall. The big red phone.

This is a phone hanging on the wall with the thing. Now he picks up, uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay. And hangs up the phone. And now it's got to walk past everybody. Take care. Goodbye.

It's got to walk out the door to. Why do you get fired? He got fired because he stepped on Carol Conner's lines What rehearsal just see just like a little one just a little in rehearsal like it was just I don't know Carol Conner was a dick fragile ego a dick. It's a beer. It's a great story about that That's what I said. I did not say that on the radio They don't say anything like uh-huh. Okay. Let's do the game. Listen. They do it again It's like he probably just want to get rid of that guy Yeah, and then they're like, uh-huh, okay, let's do it again. Listen, they do it again. It's like, he probably just won't get rid of that guy.

Yeah, and then they probably were like, cut. God, can I talk to you? Who's the lawyer? I want you to ruin his life. Yeah. Because he, and he's got all his whole one man shows about these stories. It's just about how much he hates Carol.

It's got Johnny Carson one, too. He's Johnny Carson. Why are you, Carson was a psycho. Yeah, he was a psycho. Every book I read, it's like, he was just a, yeah, I really liked the drink and yeah, do some blow. But who didn't? You got to read, you remember that when you watched Johnny and had bombastic bushing and then he wrote a book, go read that guy's

book. Well, the lawyer just wrote a book that I that I wanted to read. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the one I ordered. Yeah, why are we plugging that fucking Johnny Carson? Sorry, Kevin bread and six six six. Are you guys serious? Sorry supposed to be taking over not fucking homage to Johnny Carson. How do you know we're not gonna get a call from my don't know books? Johnny Carson Don't be real balls if I shit on Johnny Carson while I was still alive while I was still hosting the tonight That would have been huge balls that That's Johnny Carson. Oh, and let me talk to you. Do you hate him? I'll never be on the shoe killing him. That's pretty good for a guy who's never had an alcohol.

That's funny. Funny. Yeah, did you ever, you didn't do the tonight show? No. What was the first late nights about you, did you? He's got the hour special on HBO, though. No, what is it? Yeah, What was the first late nights about you, did you, Letterman? He's got the hour special on HBO though. No, what is it? Yeah, no. The first, uh, Conan. Most Conan? Yeah. 94.

That's all. Sorry, 93. I was really nervous though. Yeah, I don't have that tape. Who were the guests? Uh, I don't remember, but I did, I did that at Lib during the show. I was doing a drug up being a being Catholic and I go, and I turned to Cone, I go, I think that's why I'm on the show because I said I'm Irish Catholic or whatever.

But yeah, I was pretty nerve-racking. Anyway, good to go. It's cool though. That's a great story. I'm always fascinated by it. I'm not gonna say it. I'm gonna say it. I told him my first letterman was scary

because what happened was I was a... How come I don't have the tape of that, Eve there? Just can I fucking tell my story? You can't we fact check after we YouTube it's YouTube it no don't you to but No, no anyway the first time I was supposed to be on they call me like I O dish I did my final edition like Monday and then they call me that night and they go can you do tomorrow? I go no and they go no do you do tomorrow? I go, no. And they go, no, do tomorrow. So I go on Tuesday and I have to run around

get it like a suit because I don't even have the right things to wear. So I'm running around. So I get to the show on Tuesday. My brother Danny comes, he wants to hang out. And I mean, they had a band there, so I was downstairs in like the supply room. So Danny is stealing stuff.

Sure. He's still like hats and shirts. So Danny, it's stealing stuff. Sure. He's stealing like hats and shirts. And then I get, and then I get, and then I get bummed. So I'm like, I'm not, they're, once they look at the, the security camera, I'm not gonna be as bad because my brother, my brother turns in the loot. So when they call me, they go, can you do the next day?

I'm like, oh my God, thank God, they didn't fucking. fucking they don't care if you steal so you just are taking things from the green Yeah, the old studio no the old studio no CBS we were downstairs Channel two I heard a tell I don't even know if this is a true story But I heard a tell was his first one. Yeah, the it was like he was a third guest and the singer there was a singer on And she while see was there and her song he was a third guest and the singer there was a singer on and she while she was in her song he was taking a shit. So he's there about to bring him on and he's taking a dump. That's gonna be nerve wrecking. That's gonna be one of the world's worst dumps. What? Come on keep saying it. Yeah, and it's a tell too. I'm gonna poo, poo, poo, poo. Here it comes out of my butt.

Keep saying it, lady. Keep on with the singing while the poop's coming out of my asshole. I was always waiting for him to do it because you had to wear a jacket that was like, and to tell it doesn't wear a sport coat. No, I think he did. Yeah, he did. He wore a sport coat, he looks ridiculous.

That's great. They should have waved that rule for one guy. Yeah. David helped. Yeah, the bomber jacket was always my favorite. Yeah, after the first one, I think he was like, forget it. Yeah. The one I really want. So anyway, good luck, David. Can I have that tape? Could we put? I don't know. I don't know where it is. He doesn't lose his, their letterman set. I thought I was going to do more. I thought I was going do more. I thought I was gonna do more. I know I was gonna do more. No, I actually did too. And once Eddie Brill took over,

I was like, fuck this. Cause he was too nitpicky. It's like, don't, can you take that word out? I'm like, you mean the word that gets to laugh? No. No, I'm gonna look a little dumb to win jokes that don't really deliver. I rather not do it.

They do make you change a lot of stuff. So what's the point? What's the point of doing it? I don't know. You should have done it. I did it, but I didn't. I didn't want to jump through. You got to jump through hoops after Eddie went over there. Do you even want to do another one? I don't even know. I mean, Letterman's done. What about Colbert? I would do a once our show hits number one. I mean, Letterman's done. What about Colbert? I would do a, once our show hits number one, I'm going to start sending my tape out. Okay.

Let's more imagine we both had to go, please just go for us. What? I'll send you a loan on that one, if they want us both. Oh, no, like Mike and a Meddol. Yeah. The way you were the couches. No, that's what I would do. I would do like that.

They'd just be hard. No, panel's better. Yeah. The panel's better, because they do stand up. It's too, it's like plus now crowd, now what a crowd are so like, they're so nervous because they want you to kill and they don't, like if your jokes aren't obvious, they get like, they got like, oh, was that the, you know, you know, it's easy if you do panel because then if a joke bomb, so guess is, I mean, the host is there to kind of save it. Yeah.

You have a lightning rod. Yeah. Some of the show, some of these shows you look at the these you hear the audience it sounds horrible You can hear the harvleness of the line. I know it's Conan They keep half of the audience in their LA thing they keep half the audience lit and they keep Conan lit So like people are like looking at Conan the whole time. Yeah, hey me. Yeah for five minutes Just listen to me. I'm gonna see if Conan's laughing Letterman would sat in the dark. He would sit in a dark and I would just hear him That's great behind me and he would you hear him laugh it would calm you down in a second if he was laughing and But he would one time I made fun I made fun of Paul and he's behind me going

Go and get him get him. Yeah, that's great behind me going going get him get him yeah yeah that's great that's all I know you could see me on the tape just like kind of half turn around like what excuse me David I'm in the middle of doing it I have bits per hit Mr. Letterman do crowd work to Paul wait what'd you say about Paul you're that much a regular where you're coming on like I mean I saw you at the fucking at the bar, then I didn't. All right, Paul's telling me a story of dinner yesterday. I'll tell you this.

Funny, funny. He's coming on like Martin Short. Yeah. My friend, Abby. Abby gets on a plane to go to the Grammy and she's out in LA, but she's going to Andrade. Did you see Andrade? Cindy, you know who I'm talking about? She was a-

I know Sandra Day O'Connor. Did you watch the show yesterday, the crack? It's fun, cool. It's fun, cool. It's a soundtrack day. Did you watch the Grammys? Yeah, kind of. There was a-

I do, I between her and Ellie Goulding. She was wearing the big white- Oh, no, I'm not. Ellie Goulding. Hello, here we go. I'm gonna start singing, you sing when I start singing. Ali, Ali Gold and Sandra Day O'Connor. Just the sarcona.

It's so weird. You know what? You were right to get on the track. Poops, the Grammy says here. It's amazing. It's like you see these guys, these go. And this, just the beeperers gonna be singing with this guy And then that guy's gonna be DJ and then you don't know any of that I'm like what am I doing? Where are you the other guy with

Real X Blow That's I was waiting for deep food to come on so Abby gets on the plane to go to LA And then she's going to 100 days after party right sits down and she's in first class my friend goes for a question She goes to get some first class who's sitting next with Paul Schaefer. So he says hey Paul and he's like oh hey I know you she takes out a phone yeah yeah I'm Lenny Marcus's friend oh yeah how's he doing. It's a big. It takes out a picture of me and Paul you know like that's pretty awesome.

Yeah it's great. Well he thought she was full of shit that are the he pretends to know. No no he kind of know. No he knows me. He sure he does. He knows me. He said that aggressively. Push that bitch ass, Paul. Shea for knows me. I'm pretty sure Dave would be like, maybe he's a little more like the rest. No, but we've met Ray Allen knows Paul. Oh, God. I was always worried. How's he know Paul? He's done a mill. He's booked him a million times to every project he's ever done. We did a like a benefit for his school, but he can't get him on the show? Could not get him on the show. Well, I guess it's hard to do crowd work for five minutes. Hey, welcome to a robot.

Well, we're not even in a robot. Ray, we're not in a robot. I think you guys fly here. So a robot? I don't mean to muddle with your sats, but I think you need to cut the first minute of boat jokes They have no context No, Rubik jokes. Yeah, no, I have a bit where like a hunt of a hunter columns in a box. Who's buying that? Right. Yeah, my whole life. I've never been that optimistic

So right there. I have a pause and I'll in the crap in a shot What's the exiled did you bring that up? Thanks, boss. Yes, I have a good. What's the exiled? Did you bring that up? The ex-possess? I have that. I have that whole bit. OK. So I go, who's buying that? And I look at Paul. I go, I look over Paul.

And Paul is getting ready for the next song. Excuse me. He just looks what? This is what you see when you look at a complete deer in the headlights. And then it gets a huge laugh. And Paul is just like stunned. He gets a huge laugh.

I'm waiting there for a minute. And all you hear is letterman behind me like get him get him. That's great Get him like what the fuck take him down or not. Yeah, that was weird Fun very cool. I tell you the speaking of that They tell you that when I was on Conan one time and I did a I did a I had like a callback joke Yeah, so I'm doing my my whole set. It's this joke the the hip-hop thing I'm pretty reason so I'm doing a callback. So I close with that So so they give me like a one a one-minute signal on a cue card So I'm doing my second-a-last joke

So and it gets like a slow applause break like you used to get on Conan like they call people clapping and then it was so I'm like So I go so I'm basically saying like hurry up, but I'm like, thank you. Like thank you for fucking, come on everyone. Thank you for everyone. Finally fucking clapping. So I get to next show. So when I say thank you, they all think I'm done.

Yeah. So I see the cue car guy drop his car. Oh my God. Oh my God. Conan comes over to me, goes, he goes, good job. I go, I'm not done. He goes, he goes, good job. I go, I'm not Donny. Conan goes, you're Don. And this is all on Mike.

This is your own Mike. That's great. Where's that set? I don't know now. Conan comes here and he goes, you're Don. So then I go, oh my God. And the crowd's like, what? I don't know what the fuck in crowds thinking.

So then we come over. And so Frank Smiley's like what the fuck I go Yeah, what the fuck man? I still got this joke. He goes can I do I said can I do the joke and he goes? I don't know we'll see if we have time so Conan comes Conan don't even tell me I'm just sitting there I'm like we're gonna do the joke goes. I don't know and he comes he comes out of commercially goes So sometimes there's a screw up and Kevin didn't get to do his last joke so So he goes, you want to do it now? I'm like, I don't know, because I don't even,

you can't try to just do it. Context to bring it back in. He's trying to get right into a joke. You know, so I'm like, I get it, I get it. That's set up for a ball. So then I get it out, it does fine. And then afterwards, who's the band guy who used to play for Springsteen?

Max Kellerman. Max Kellerman. Max Kellerman. It'ssteen Oh Max Kellerman. Max Kellerman. Max Kellerman. It's the boxing. Yeah. Max Weinberg. Actually Max Kellerman and that Max Weinberg were there. Yeah.

So Max Weinberg comes up to me and goes he goes that was great. He goes we love it when we get screwed up because to them it's like funny because everything you know whatever. So he goes he goes we love it when he gets screwed. It was great. So then he leaves and Frank Smiley comes up and he goes I go. Yeah, sorry I don't know why he goes he goes I said max says it's great for the show and he goes don't listen to max

He goes we don't run comedy through max Okay, I'm like that's when you just go somebody just fucking kill me You know, I think cuz now we're gonna make you do it. You're like I don't want to do it No, it's so it was'm like, oh my God. Like that's when you go like, that's when you realize when you're on TV, like everybody in the world is watching you. Like every fucking gesture, everything you do.

Like when you do sets in the club, you don't even give a shit, you know? Cause no one's watching that closely. Well, the timing's different. It's really, yeah, it's really, I'm the whole thing. Hey Deepu, do we have anybody wanna? Yeah, we got some things in shed if you wanna go.

Please, any questions for lovely Kevin Brennan. I'm sure he's about to. Dan and I've said everybody here anybody. Because that is George Clark says a cartoon with Kevin's voice would be pretty funny. Okay. What did that character look like? How do we draw it? Why do you do me as a cartoon, Dan? Why don't you do me as a car? I can't. No, I can't. Why are you? No you not I can't I've been working on Kevin. It's hard. Well, he does here's me doing Kevin You could do this on video as well. I every time Kevin wants to speak to me now

He'll be on the other side of the room and he does this Lenny Lenny That's pretty good I'm by one word it sounds like it sounds like Stevie Ray for Armstrong That's pretty good. That sounds like Stevie Ray from Sting. That's how you sound. I rock to Rapses, get the fuck out. CVS stinks.

Okay. There you go. Now I know why these guys don't have a job. Most people are out working. These guys are like CVS stinks. Okay, go back to smoking your bongs and whatever else you guys do now. Whip it. You still don't whip it? No one's doing whip it.

That ends in the 90s, yeah. It's all like oils and waxes now. Wait, what do young kids think about the Grammys? What do young kids think about the Grammys? I don't know, I don't think about the Grammys. Did you watch the Grammys? I'm almost 30, I'm not that young. I didn't know it was on a Monday.

I'm almost 30. Yeah, yesterday was Monday, isn't it usually on Sunday? No, I thought it was a joke. It's not on its mind. You're right. Should you be Sunday, right? I mean, they do it on my Instagram game with my hashtags. Oh yeah.

I thought it was great. I thought there were great performances. It was just on it. It was just on where I was. Would you see that new band? Would you think it was a lemmy? They did the thing to motorhead. I don't I don't want to watch it was a good.

Yeah, that was awesome. And what's the name of that band? I didn't. It was this kind of a day. Girl. It was so hairy. Yeah. Tough McKagan.

Johnny Depp. Yeah, they never last. Oh, they're called the Hollywood vampires. That's it. But that's not they they must have Alice Cooper. Yeah, that's like an actual band. I think they might have just been doing it because lemme died. Yeah, they did one of their Spaces, they did a space. Yeah, they did it. It was cool the

Bowie thing that got laid. I didn't like that. I like the visual. It looked like a high school Musical like you went to go see your friend's sister in high school musical. You like got it. You're doing Bowie songs Can we leave now? I just like the digital like the yeah that was face and there was like moving with their head I was trying to hard to act like yeah yeah it's just like talking like I'm like stop just saying you can sing yeah I didn't even hear it I just watched it on me I don't want to say I'm a sajnist about it but they they could have had like a

million guys with like Ryan Ferry anybody could have come out and yeah let, let's see. Yeah, let's see. But those guys were showing those big ass titties away, guys. I guess not. Yeah, I'm like, Gaga. I was like, I was. It's got a great voice.

Yeah, she does. Yeah, a can be there. National anthem on the Super Bowl. I lost money because she went way over. Sure, way over. I took the $5. You took the over? I took the under.

You gamble. There it is. That's what you do. That was it. $5. You took the over? I took the under. You gamble. That's what you do. That was it. $5. You gamble. I don't know. Big bad for me. I was like $5.

Was it Whitney Houston's the longest one ever? And she beat that one? I don't know, but she was, this is the longest one I've ever heard. I was at a friend's house on Saturday and she was like, my friend was like, Lady Gaga, I was the best performance of the National Anthem. I was like, Whitney Houston's hands down. I was like, I don't, you were at that time. You were the air. You were the air. Yeah. I've been like 10 feet in front of you at the

best scene of the house. That was the wide right game. The job. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was there for that one. Yeah. That's awesome. I played that YouTube clip and it just shut her down. I'm like, that's the best. I was there for that one. I was there for that game too. What Lady Gaga? No, the you you mean YouTube at the Super Bowl? Oh, not YouTube. I said YouTube. Oh, YouTube. The YouTube.

Lady Gaga's was very good. Yeah. You've been doing a lot of Super Bowls. Yeah, well, you got a football game and everybody's drunk at the end of the game where you're like, can you guys keep it down? Guys. Guys.

Guys. Guys, that's my way. Trying to concentrate on the field. The guy's got a field goal to kick down. Hey, sir, could you stop yelling, sir? This is how bad the old giant stadium was. I would run out of the press box. Somebody would be that, let's say you went to the game

and I said, I'm gonna bring Kevin a book like the stats for a half time. I'd run out of the press box. I'm statistician for the giants for those of you who don't know. So I could run out of the press box. I get, there's the spiral corners of giant stadium. Yeah, yeah. What they would do is, they would be guys from the top with throw a dollar

Down there and like if you went to pick up the dog they would just spit on you That was like one of their things that was before phones. That's before phones fun That's like I don't have an app to look at this button model Let me spit on this idiot who's gonna pick up a dog. You would do that with mustard at veteran stadium That's a filly thing, it's a theater. They have to take it to the next level. No, we're levels, we just drop mustard down. Brawl's just, if you had a Philly jersey,

that's where the Brawl's been. That's right, right? That's right, right? And the spiral thing. You never bring it on other teams, the jersey is the giant stadium. No, you're already through travel. I'll give you a, I got Becky-owned and Big J tickets one time perfect on like the 40 yard. They were so psych 40 on

Giants whatever year this was it's got to go back 15 you beat the crap out of Philly that day I go at halftime to collect the money for the tickets. Yeah, and Big J doesn't even say they don't even save two words to me. Just like hey, I brought you guys the stats you guys having a good How much is it yeah, okay, I'm solo they're both terrible losers terrible terrible losers That was the I almost went to a right filly. No, no, no I almost went to not I'm a service for an airs fan and they're playing in Philly and this is right before The link opened so veteran Stadium is still open. And my friend's like, do you want to go down there?

It'll be good. We'll go to the Niners at, it's like one of the last games you'll see a Vetsch and Stadium. And I'm like, I don't really want to go. I just said that. I was like, I don't feel good about going down there. And there was a snow storm on Saturday. On Sunday, something happened.

On Monday, there was a video, like a video was before YouTube. It was like on something of Philly fans just pelting these 3.49er fans with snowballs. And the two were saying too, for San Francisco. Nice hot F-word that ends in a team. And it's hilarious because the two rows in front of them and the two rows, everyone cleared out to be like, let's fuck up these three people. And there's just a guy in a Montana jersey, he's like, PAPAP, I'm just getting fucked up and a welted.

Oh, yeah. Best decision I ever had. Montana can't even walk now. Yeah, which a lot of foreign air fans knew, and now it's kind of public. He's so tiny. We're also like his drop foot. He does.

That's why he wears back in 19 years. He wears the sketches. Yeah. What do you mean he's so tiny? He's like your bigger man than Joe Montana. No, really? Easily. He's a little mad at my club. Now, because he's getting a little He's like your bigger man than Joe Montana. No, really? Easily. He's a little mad in my club.

Now, because he's getting mad. Even then, I met Joe Montana. No matter, you still be able to walk. I'm just saying, you're a bigger man. But bigger guys are bigger. He was a tiny water back. Junior, Junior, Junior, say I was, he blew his brains in.

I mean, he just, I was just in the chat. So they could save his brain. Is he a little man too? What? I'll Fucking kill you And it is high you were a bigger your person junior say out You can say oh this I mean he's great one backers of all these say and he's he's got problems because he's little all the even big guys

Are getting hurt and they can't fucking walk in here, but like CTA CTE's true They're saying that OJ has got CTE Are those are potentials for a podcast CTE? That should be MLC How hard are you? Yeah, brain damage podcast That's perfect. The OJ should say like I was the first guy to something They're saying now

The concussion guy did it the real doctor Yeah, he said that Tend It definitely has It's innocent you know like all right African doctor. I'm telling you I don't know it's not because I am black It's because oh jazz innocent CTE innocent of all charges. Oh man. He definitely murdered those you know what I watched the other day was Norm McDonald's uh that the best joke of all time. It's my favorite the best best show of all time. Where he goes, Charles Woodson's here. Best joke of all time. Charles Woodson won the Heisman this year,

the first defensive player to ever win the Heisman and Charles, no one can take that away from you, unless you murder your wife and a waiter. The best is the waiter. The best part is the waiter. Do the waiter. He's still getting shit from the one. Yeah.

I mean, it's a little ration, but his a waiter like it's still I want to hurt our almost collapse The best is kangaroo feet juniors face. Oh, yeah, he goes. Oh, no Like he hits that joke and it hits it like hits the whole crowd laughs And then it turns it was on the SPs that radio city or city or so they the audience laughs right a little delay like but then a big laugh And they cut to like Barry bonds they can't give it all like damn Can't perfect can't grip it goes And you see a look at the guy next to me goes from now So

Happily have the worst sense of humor. Yeah, so pho-lobs. I was like man because they wouldn't even laugh except the crowd And they're like oh then they registered in their dumb brain Wait, what he said, oh damn, oh he killed, oh, he did it. Oh, he didn't he did Fuck it great. Do you have the camera on him? Oh my god, can we just cart somehow gif Damn, just want to phone you go see if he's live tweeting Damn, Dan just went to a phone to see if he's live tweeting. Are you live? Are you pointing the podcast?

I can't see what time it is. I gotta get, where else is that? Are you got a waiter job with a fucking owner? I gotta shift a pickup. Good eye-living queens. It takes me an hour and 30 minutes to get home. I gotta 10 o'clock set tonight. You want some extra steak?

Maybe he can slide you. Yeah, dude, I ate so much second-hand food. Here we go. This is custom. The way we add out. That's another good porn-o so much second hand food. Here we go. This is custom. The way we end our- That's another good point out name. Second hand food. Shit, that's a poor producer.

Well, I know what our next project is. Yeah. The way we end our little podcast, we have apologies. Are we done? We're just wrapping it up. This is wrapping it up. Okay. We have five minutes to wrap this up.

We're apologizing. We apologize. I can't even leave, because I'm gonna get Sarah's gonna give me shit. I'm gonna get so much shit. Okay, so Sarah, I'm sorry. I'm gonna kill me. I want to say sorry to Kevin for doing voices. That's where I want to apologize to.

That's it? I apologize, except it, because it really does hurt my feelings. No. No, it's like, once I do it with a guy does voice, I'm like, what am I here for? Anytime I'm nasty and how my girlfriend now so fiance says what are you Kevin? How spurred that Kevin bread and six six six on Twitter. That's right Mike now bad

Mike wouldn't apologize to anybody. I, the only thing I've really said so far, I admitted to making fun of that Indian girl that had a hairy neck. Oh, I apologize for the bomb. Yeah. It was just a bad joke. And I apologize. It was a story. I think you were just getting, you know, you got this first time on the show. You got shafted because I even won Bobby call me last night. He said, I said, well, who's gonna be on the show? Is it just gonna be us? He goes, no, it's just gonna be blah, blah, blah, like seven people.

He named. Oh, it's always. And then he named you and I don't even know you. So I go, we'll just tell him not to come because he won't be able to, I won't let him talk. And he's like, no, he'll be all right. I'm like, he's not gonna be all right. Nobody wants to come to a fucking podcast and not talk.

You know what I mean? So I'll make sure you're back in. I would have you on my show, but I won't let you talk there either. I'll just sit and continue to try to get a great track story in. Most of what I said the day was like, who the hell?

Yeah. But you nailed that. Yeah, I wanna apologize to my mom. I told her to listen. Okay. She was probably gonna be in season stage seven. I told her to listen. Okay. She was probably in stage seven. So let's just give I have a minute. We can go over one minute Mike. Whatever floor is yours. Bring it on. That was it. You got a thing you want to plug? No. Okay. Big man Mike. That's my Twitter. Big man Mike. I could have got my name

But I have a shitty last name. You stand up. I do stand up, and where is your next? Do we have a? I don't know, probably a Rob, we live restaurant tonight. Yeah, it's an story on 35th Avenue. Yeah, boom. And now, and you're there, too. You're there, too. I love 45 in Bushwick. How does the beard work for you?

Does that check out the beard? Yeah, but it's starting to become a crutch professionally. Oh, you do just start the beard. No, but it's becoming become a crutch professionally. Oh, you do just start to be heard. No, but it's becoming an outdated Fed, I think, especially in the comedy world. No, I said, I said on Opie, I said, I was talking about Zach,

because he was like, I think, the first time I remember a guy having a big beard, I said, somebody said, ask me, is Zach a good actor? I'm like, I don't know if he is, but I know his beard's a very good actor. Because his beard gives him like depth and like he seems profound and interesting. Without the beard, it's just like a fat white dude from North Carolina. You know what I mean?

Stealing Kevin's voice over. I grew beard in high school because I could. And because I have to double chins and I just like I just need to get not, I'm trying to get laid and two chins doesn't work. You grew a beard in high school. Yeah. And I've had it everins and I just like I just need to get not I'm trying to get laid and Two kids that were in high school. Yeah, so and I've had it ever since I tried to grow beer in high school on my dick and that didn't even Well, then I was started to beard it was like really it was like like Joe dirt chops Shaved and I saved a nice. Well, I didn't save in high school now. I got a little Mexican kid. I started shaving college Freshman here. I started shaving every day against the grain. That's how I got a little Mexican kid. I started shaving college fresh when you are sort of shaving every day against the grain

That's how I got the beer The grain I am. I wanted it Now I don't know who I am living wait, uh, are you Italian? Yeah, okay In 20 years you won't be able to even say that. No. Oh, it's right. He said that to me. He had to. I like to add a little stank on it.

It is now. I'm a high-towery. I had a little, I put a little zip on it. High-towery. Yeah, he's an I-towery. Someone looked at me funny for a second. I wanted to get Mexican food. They're like, oh, let an American food.

No, that's bullshitting food. No, we said that. Oh, yeah. Let's look at the same group where I was. You need to get out of that, girl. Whatever. A story of crew or whatever. Oh, that's that. Oh, yeah, but the same group where I was you need to get out of that girl. Yeah, whatever a story It's crew whatever. Oh that's that's a scope of the throwing story. Oh, you corrected him. I'm very PC. Yeah Yeah, it's in Brooklyn. It's not in Brooklyn. Then it's then it seeps his way into Queens. Yeah See who you apologizing to Chris. I got nothing to say the best. Do you all anything to Bobby? You should probably just do

I'll just Yeah, just throw a blanket suppression fire. Yeah, yeah, get well soon Bobby. Yeah Maybe you'll have a story snowed in Boston Bobby Perfect Lauren I love you Bobby. Oh my god. I said apologize not kiss ass She's gonna get yelled at that Bobby. No, no No, no, no, he isn't yell. Yeah No, but he'll call me deep. Oh, I'm gonna apologize to the chat room for not reading all their hostile comments

Oh, there's more pretty mad at me for not reading. I'm not gonna read him. Oh, I had a dream You know like all the things I'm working on Twitter you're mostly positive and I had a dream that like someone's hiding all the negative comments No, they know I can't take it because I'm too fragile Unless you're hiring someone to do that there's no one doing that. I think everyone loves Kevin Brennan Yeah, I don't know about this from the YKWD family. I'll apologize to the viewers I didn't know we were doing this so So, look, take it up with Bob. That's the thing. Take it up.

But listen to us on the MLC podcast, on Rycast Network. So this is live, they're gonna re-air it. Yeah, it gets on YouTube or. It's gonna be released in Monday. All right, next Monday. Next Monday. Nice little chat, Kevin.

Lovely. Plug yourself one more time. Where are you gonna be this weekend? Well, I think I'm gonna have to cancel my Saturday just why he's got another gig maybe yeah anyway I'm gonna be it I'm gonna be a snappers I know it's a name I know it's a name of a fish. It's either that or that or that or that or that or the fish. And somewhere near Tampa in March 3, 4 and 5. But you go to my website at Kevin Brennan comedian, right?

Is that what it is? Yeah, or comedian Kevin Brennan. No, I think I lost that. You lost one. Kevin Brennan comedian. Dan. Yeah, please. What's the show you're on? I saw it on I saw somebody congratulate you. Billions. You wouldn't let me talk about that. That's a high sort of promo last night. It's a good show right? Yeah. Thanks.

The show Damian Lewis and Paul Giamatti. They're great. Damian Lewis the calm. Oh, Damian Leonard. Oh, I said. Yeah. Damian. No, Damian Lewis. Yeah, Damian Lewis. He's on Homeland. Yeah. Damian no Damien Lewis. Yeah Damien Lewis he's on Homeland. Yeah Damien lemon is a comedian Yeah, I mean Lewis is in Paul Giamatti. I'm like Magnus. It's a good show wall and acrimon and Yeah, it's like I'm gonna play a douchebag and already already picked up. Yeah, they're doing season two. Oh congrats Are you an every episode? I was I think I'm in nine of the 12. So you got a health insurance? No. I don't have a health insurance. I have freelancers, but I'm gonna try to get

SAG after a health insurance. I like how we go right to health insurance. Health insurance. Yeah. It's trying to save you. That's what I watch in the end. I have a Grammy, no, I'm like, Lady Gaga must have.

Yeah. Does she, did they put the money away for her? And the Grammy? Does she have a cul-pay? Yeah. It's really high. It's a pre-text. One more time. Your Twitter?

Big man, Mike. Big man, Mike. It's a Memphis Comedy Festival and large. Oh, good bye, Bacchew. Seriously. I'll be at the Arlington Draft House next weekend. Could this weekend when this comes out? I'll be there, Nate.

Scopo and Lauren, you guys will be here. No, we're here. We're here. What's the YWKD YWD. Yeah Let me read Bobby's dates actually. Oh, no, he has nothing. He has nothing until he's filming. Yeah, he's nothing What's he filming tell everybody sex drug drugs and rock and roll bam bam? Her Bobby's a good actor great actor. Yeah, yeah, it's fucking great. He's so good. It's bam. Yeah. I heard Bobby's a good actor. Great actor. Very good. Very good.

Yes, fucking great. He's so good. It's a little bit more. I don't want to, I don't necessarily want to hear that, but I heard he is a good actor. Sorry. I'm sorry. I just want to, I want to do my last apology to you again. Bobby's a great actor. His drumming is looking better too.

Yeah, that's getting good. Well, thanks, Bob. I have, no one says a very good actor. You can go to Lenny Marcus NYC. Or come, just listen to our podcast. And you can hear Kevin's stylings every day. When's our new podcast gonna come out? Tonight, we sent it in.

So tonight it comes out tonight. All right, I'm catching up. Pretty God, I don't get killed tonight. I got my wife mad at me and Sarah mad at me. Is your wife listening automatically? She gets the update. My wife is so, my wife is like, that's why even the fact that Sarah knew somehow that I was already on,

that's creepy to me. There are cahoots. No, because it's not, it's like women have like, like my daughter knew my phone passcode and I go, how'd you know it? She goes, and she's seven. She goes, I saw you do it once. Women should all be detectives because they have like,

we know everything. They can just, they pick up shit, the guys think, oh, she didn't see that, she didn't, whatever. So my wife always knows, now I just tell her, I'm gonna be on a radio, because she's not a versi- She's not a versi- If I don't tell her, then she thinks I'm like, trying to get away with something.

Yeah. If I tell her, if I tell her, she'd be like, I haven't been insane at all, you know? And that's when I say all. Well, let's go and see what happens. Bye everybody. Thank you. Bye.

Bye. You've been listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com For all the best podcasts on the internet

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