Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Ethan Suplee | Former Fatties

Episode Date: May 12, 2024

This week Bobby sits down with actor Ethan Suplee to talk about their weight loss journeys, Ethan's acting career, and how comedians have more freedom than actors. FOLLOW ETHAN https://www.instagram.com/ethansuplee/?hl=en Get the EXTRA YKWD, Watch LIVE and UNEDITED AT https://www.patreon.com/robertkelly LIVE FROM THE SHED AND MORE ON PATREON DUDE!!! https://twitter.com/robertkelly https://twitter.com/YKWDpodcast http://instagram.com/ykwdudepodcast https://www.facebook.com/YkwdPodcast/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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New Umbrella Daily UV Moisturizer. Now available online or at your local retailer. I went to wardrobe which is as a fat person, an actor, as a chubby person or heavy or whatever, if you're not Brad Pitt, then you're dreading the day that you have to go for your fitting. And I went in and I'm supposed to be a college student at the time and I was heavy and nothing fit. They dressed me, honest to God, like Fred Flinstone. And they ran out of backpacks.

So they gave me a bowling bag, literally. I said, I looked like Fred Flinstone. Right. And they ran out of backpacks, so they gave me a bowling bag, literally. I said I looked like Fred Flinstone, she handed me a bowling bag. I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? So I'm in this movie, and I'm such a tub of shit, I'm starving, I'm an extra, by the way. I'm just in the background, I'm an extra. So, we were sitting, this was when cell phones

first came out. So I was sitting, they have us just sitting out in the sun like cattle. And I don't understand this. My first time being an extra, my first movie, my acting teacher, Pete Kelly, shout out, what's up son? Got me the part, you know, the extra. And I'm just like, what the fuck, I'm starving.

There's no craft services near us, you know what I mean? And even then, extras are shooed away from craft services, or they were. They used to be shooed. They have their own little water hut. Right, and it is a water hut. It's a water hut with a bag of fucking nuts. Right, everybody's touching the same nuts, yeah.

So I have a cell phone, because I'm always into the latest and greatest attacks, even back then, I'd call up, I'd order a pizza. Ah! Ah! And they'd bring it to you? So here's the thing, so there was this German woman, like eight feet tall with a headset,

you must go here, sit here, we will be with you in a minute, you know, just a twat. Yeah. And I'm sitting there in the sun under like a willow tree. Just fucking starving. All of a sudden I hear, who ordered pizza? And all the extras are like, huh? Who ordered pizza?

And I went, I did, because I wanted the pizza. I should have just let it go, but I was like, I really wanted it. I thought she was, you know, she goes, you ruined shot. I guess the pizza guy came up during, just walked right through it, drove up during a take. Mammoth, it's fucking mammoth.

Drove up during a take, whap, whap. Hey, I got a large cheese, half pepperoni. Fucking ruined the take. Yeah, baby, we're starting the podcast right now. We're back. You know what, dude? Live. Welcome everybody to the show. I started social media podcast. The YKW Dude podcast. YKWD is back again. Old school back in the day where it all started before them all.

This podcast is so fun and crazy. Hey, what's up everybody Robert Kelly here, we're back at the comedy cellar studios with another episode of YKWD above the beautiful famous Best club in the world the comedy cellar the one that set the tone baby. We're here I'm excited to be back. We got the tizzy three in the world, the Comedy Cellar, the one that set the tone, baby. We're here, I'm excited to be back. We got the Tizzy Three in the house. We got Joe, Max, and Danny, and we have a very special guest, a friend of mine. I'm so excited. Every once in a while, we get a real famous person, like somebody in the business on the show.

Not today. No, today we absolutely do. Maxie, who do we got? We got the actor Ethan Suppley, everybody. That's right, dude. And it's so funny, man. First of all, welcome to the show, dude. How you doing?

I'm good. Are you in New York for a little bit? I'm here about a week. A week, you to the show, dude. How you doing? I'm good. Are you in New York for a little bit? I'm here about a week. A week, you working? No, meetings. You got a new, oh, the fucking dreaded meetings. You got a new show coming, a new movie coming out. I have a show.

Is it a TV show? Yeah, but because of the strike, they changed, I don't know when it's coming out. We shot a season. What's the name of it? The Prodips of Pittsburgh. What's the name of it? The Prodips of Pittsburgh. What's the other thing with the, where you're a hit, you're like a goon,

like you're a hit man or a bouncer. What's that show? Bad Man, I don't know. There's a bunch of shit. Oh dude, I just saw you in a clip that looks awesome. Really? Yeah, is it a movie? Maybe.

Bring up all his stuff, Max. Dude, there's a- We're gonna figure this out. It's a movie, I think it's a movie? Maybe. Bring up all his stuff, Max. We're gonna figure this out. I think it's a movie. Okay. And the guy, maybe it's a TV show. You're in a suit. Oh, yeah, I know what you're talking about. Okay, that, yes, I have a movie coming out.

I forgot. What have I fucking done? Oh yeah, I'm not famous. Yes, it's called. What is the most famous thing anybody's ever done to me? Blood for Rust. Blood for Rust.

Yes. And that looks pretty badass, man? Blood for Rust. Blood for Rust. Yes. And that looks pretty badass, man. That is good. Blood for Dust. Blood for Dust. You said Rust. I, listen, it's early. Dude, what the, how famous are you?

It's cold. You don't even know your movies. My hands are frozen. Dude, this looks so good. Bring up the trail. Who's in this? Yeah, dude, this looks good. Yes, that's gonna be a good movie. This is my type of movie, man.

The look of it, it looks old. It's gritty. It's a period piece set in the 90s. The 90s, which is my... I knew this is why I like it. It's my era of movie. It's my era of time, the 80s and 90s. And I saw it,

and it looks fantastic. All right, no, yous, and I saw it and it looks fantastic. All right, no, you don't have to play it. He looks uncomfortable. Do you look uncomfortable? No, I'm not uncomfortable. I'm embarrassed that I forgot. What are you playing this? You should be.

It's literally, the trailers are out now, dude. Like they're promoting this now. Yes, now it's time. That's why I'm here, Bobby, to promote this movie. What's it called? Let's talk about it. Blood for Dust. Rust Dust? What's it called? Blood for talk about it. Blood for Dust. Rust Dust?

What's it called? Blood for Dust. It was at one point called Blood for Rust. Okay, so that's. Now it's called Blood. That's not on me. That's on them. The recovery.

That was a good recovery. That was good. They fucked me on that one. I was very showbiz of you. And are we allowed to swear? Yeah, you can say fuck. You just hit it with a dude. I've watched your interviews on shows

and I can hear someone's you're not, you're not and you're on the verge of fuck. But then you can see on some of those videos where you're like fucking. That's how I talk, that's how human beings talk. Well not, no, my grandmother didn't. Right, sure, she's from a different. My grandfather, I've never heard my grandmother

or grandfather say fuck in my life. I have a granddaughter, she's heard me grandmother or grandfather say fuck. Really? In my life. I have a granddaughter. She's heard me say fuck quite a bit. You have a granddaughter? Yeah. My God. How many kids you got? Four daughters and a granddaughter.

That's crazy. Yeah. Good for you, man. How long you been married? We didn't get married until we had our third kid. So we've been together. How long you been together? We've been 20 years.

20 years together. So you, I mean, look, everybody, the reason why I've always liked you and stuff, dude, Earl and you were in, what was it, Friday night? Remember the Titans. Remember the Titans, big motherfucker. I was related to you because I've always been up and down and big and stuff like that.

But then I really, when you, you came out of the blue and you lost the weight. But then you gained some of it back. And then you really lost the weight. Well, you know, in 2002 I started dieting. And I was massive, I was 550. 550, and can you bring up what's 550 for just a reference? Things that are 550 pounds?

Like a baby rhinoceros might be 500. I think it's lighter than that. Right. I think. Might be a teenage rhinoceros. They did this to me on Skanks. Really? Legion of Skanks.

They had me on and they brought up all the stuff that I was happier than. It was embarrassing. A chimpanzee is lighter than us. Oh dude the stuff that I was heavier than. It was embarrassing. A chimpanzee is lighter than us. Oh dude, a chim, dude, I was, what is it? It's about as big as a heavy pig. See, I wouldn't have thought that. I wouldn't have thought that.

Thanks for ruining the bit. I mean, what a piece of shit you are. It's as big as the thing that doesn't seem that big. The heart of a blue whale doesn't seem that big. You know what, Max, do me a favor. It's about three fifths as heavy as a horse. doesn't seem that big you know what max do me a favor about three fists as heavy as a horse Oh, yeah, not so hey max do me a favor. Yeah, can you run it and jump out the window and kill yourself? But it's big for a person no Grand piano that's a dad. Well. Thank you Danny and even now Danny you look in the supper is he?

Well, thank you Danny. And even now. Danny, are you looking this up or is he? I'm looking it up. Oh, I'm sorry Max. Don't kill yourself. Kill Danny. Cut his trachea right now. It's also 2024, so 550 is not such a big deal anymore.

No, 550. Here's a thing I saw on TV, dude, that really... People don't know. It's right in front of us and nobody acknowledges it, nobody wants to see it. In 19, I think 30s or 20s, there was no fat people in America. Very rare.

There's a video of all these people walking in New York. Nobody's fat. Nobody's fat. Not one person is fat. Nothing. No, it's crazy. All European looking people. Could have been Europe, but it was New York. Nobody's fat. Nobody's fat. Not one person is fat. Nothing. No, it's crazy. All European looking people. Could have been Europe, but it was New York,

it was here. A lot of hats. A lot of hats. A lot of hats. And suits and vests. And all of a sudden, at some point, and I heard you talk about it before, and my friend Vinny Tordereach has a documentary

on YouTube called Fat. Okay. About the food. Yeah. has a documentary on YouTube called Fat, about the food. Our food is just. And it gets doubly compounded with the industrial revolution and as technology has progressed in America, we have less impetus to move our bodies, less manual labor, less people are walking. I'm gonna pretend I know what impetus, move our bodies, less manual labor, we're not, less people are walking.

I'm gonna pretend I know what impetus, what was that again? Like we're just, there's no purpose, there's no drive to move, we're moving a lot less. I don't want you to pretend like you're on Burke Crisis podcast and then bring it down. Man no move. Thank you. No more.

Yeah. That's perfect. We just don't do any. We sit, we're in cars, we're on our phones, we're not moving as much. And our food, like, you know, I had all these wild theories, I don't know if they're true,

but like the last time people were starving in America, like actually starving, it wasn't long after that, that the government started subsidizing agriculture. And so you now have, like where somebody was maybe spending some huge percentage of their paycheck on food, now it's nothing, it's not a second thought. People are outraged when a meal at McDonald's costs $18.

Yeah, but it's also like, if you look at all our food, our pasta, our breads, everything is enriched, everything is fake, everything is how to make it cheaper last longer to be on the shelf longer. And they also are adding things and enhancing the taste of it so that you're compelled to eat more of it. It literally releases a chemical in your brain that says you gotta have more.

Yeah, you're not full. You're not full, and we don't have a shot. No. And once you get to the point, I'm gonna, people know this, I don't know if you know it, but I lost, I was 300 and I would say, honestly, my top was 360. I'm 5'8", I was 360 around two years ago. And I was so big, and you said something too.

If you just grabbed, if you grabbed all that weight I lost and carried it around, it would kill you. But if you added one pound a day, you learn how to do it. The fact that fat people learn how to live. Look at me, that's me. That's me, dude. And the fact, the thing that. You lost a lot of weight, Bobby.

It's, I learned how to travel like that. I learned how to sit in comfort plus, not coach, I'm not a piece of shit. I'm not garbage, you know what I mean? Comfort plus. But I learned to walk around and live like that. And I didn't feel that, I never felt that. And here's the thing too, and I'm gonna say it,

people suck and the people around you don't give a fuck about you. Nobody cares about you. Nobody, nobody gives a fuck about you. Nobody cares about you. Nobody Nobody gives a shit about you the They and if they do They're they're navigating all the ways to express that to you in a way that you can either receive it right or do something

With it. It's it's a it's a tricky, by the way, I was not only insanely overweight, I was a drug addict in the 90s, and my friends had multiple interventions. They couldn't even talk to me about my weight. Like that was just- It was about drugs. I would shut down the conversation about my weight. When Chris Farley died, an actor, Kevin Connolly,

you know Kevin Connolly? Kevin Connolly called me to talk to me about Chris Farley died, an actor, Kevin Connolly, you know Kevin Connolly? Kevin Connolly called me to talk to me about Chris Farley. Now Chris Farley OD'd, but I'm sure his weight was a compounding factor there. Right. And Kevin called me, and I was a drug addict at the time, but I was hiding it. So I was like, why are you telling me this? Why are you having a conversation with me about Chris Farley, the guy OD'd? I'm not going to do that. And Kevin was trying to broach health with me, but I shut it down.

Then when they knew I was a drug addict, they had multiple interventions and it was their attempt at caring. But like it does, if you're not ready to change, you're not going to change. Well, I got a theory about that too, though. It's the it's they'll care about drugs, alcohol, gambling. They don't give a fuck about food dude. Yeah well not because now not in 2024 half the population or more is obese. But it's like drugs it's like dude we gotta meet we gotta do an intervention all they send them to rehab. It's like, I have a joke in my head about that. It's like, they don't celebrate holidays with heroin. It's food, you know what I mean? And it's, there's something about food,

the addiction of food. There's something about that addiction that people either accept it, my wife, she loves me. She loves me. She loves me. I got bigger. She didn't notice it, but she did, but she, like me, kind of just accepted it. You know what I mean? My wife got together with me at my heaviest.

Get the fuck out of here. Your wife was heavy? No. She was thin? Yes, and gorgeous. Your wife is pretty. And going, like, in public. That wouldn't impress me I your wife is pretty and and going like in public That wouldn't impress me if your wife had like a mole and she was just a fucking she yeah. Hey

Yeah, I'm I love you right and how bad would you feel right now if you if that happened and then you you lost all this And then I was like, well, you still love me. Not really. Yeah um, but I I you know going out in public with her, I was embarrassed to let her hold my hand. Really, yeah. I would want her to walk a little bit away from me, because I didn't want people to,

I didn't want my shame to be associated with her. Fucking sad. You know? Yeah, I hear you. Dude, I, I mean, I give my wife full respect that she, you know, she did stuff with me, went places with me, and I was this big, but I think, I don't know what it is, maybe the showbiz part of it,

or kind of just enhances us a little bit, or whatever, but my, nobody, like no, friends would just make fun of me. Yeah. They would say, and maybe that's their way of trying to help me, shaming me, and making me feel, yeah, you fat fuck. And it's even worse to be fat now with the internet. I mean, dude.

And there's some funny people on the internet too. They're good. I mean, I still get fat jokes. And I lost a middle-aged woman. And I still will go on Twitter and someone will fucking make a mean fat joke about me. But well composed. I mean, they're either geniuses or they took their time. Oh, they had help.

There's a fat person app that does fat jokes. Because some of them are real good, man, really good. But you know, it's still, it's like, do you have an intervention for your fat friend? Like they made fun of me. They would say this, this is at the end, they'd be like, after I lost the weight, good for you, we were worried about you.

They would have meetings, Big Jay told me. Yeah, we used to have fat meetings behind your back. Like, should we do something? And by the way, Big Jay is not, yeah, we used to have fat meetings behind your back. Like, should we do something? And by the way, Big Jay is not Twiggy. No, his name's Big. Yeah. So him having a meeting on your behalf says something. You know what I mean?

Like, that's a bad situation to be in. But I think that, you know, you have an intervention with somebody about drugs. The plea to them. I was laughing though. A fat guy was worried about me. Right, yeah. Dude, we gotta do something.

And nobody went, looked at him and went like, why are you here? What are we doing about you? Why are you in the meeting? Yeah. It's just Ari, Lenny Marcus, Billy Burr, and Big Jay. Why are you here, Jay? Right, you're out of the meeting.

Drinking and smoking. Listen, we gotta do something about Bob's fucking fatness. Yeah, the prerequisite for being a member of this meeting is being thin. Right. But I think there are levels to it too, though. What do you mean? Like the picture of you, that's not what Big Jay looks like.

No, he looks, he's what I call. He's husky. He's a day walker. Yeah. You know what I mean? He's a guy who is heavy. He's big, he's been heavy his whole life. It's not limiting his life in any way. I mean, I don't consider him fat.

I've never considered, I mean, it's like Patrice never got fat jokes. Right. Big Jay doesn't get, people don't really make fun of him fat wise. You know what I mean? They'll make fun of his blue hair, like a fucking, you know, like a Hot Top'll make fun of his blue hair like a fucking,

you know, like a Hot Topics girl and his wallet chain that doesn't have a wallet, his fingerless gloves, it looks silly. Do you wear a chain that's just connected to his belt? No wallet. It's just a chain. It's an accoutrement. It's like an ascot for fucking gay men.

But, which I thought that was the ascot, but it's not. It's a wallet chain with no wall. But no, yeah, he's not, I don't consider him fat, but I guess me, I was, you know, I went, because you talked about something too, where you go up and down and up and down and up and down. There's two things. First, to your point about an intervention about fatness,

with drugs, you have a friend who's a drug addict. Your plea to them is you have to stop doing drugs. That's the expectation through, um, an intervention is like, this is what you're doing. You just need to stop and you can't do this anymore. There is no universe where the person just stops eating and they're done eating. So it's far trickier to navigate because you can beg them to go on a diet,

90% or more than that, I think it's like 97% of diets, long-term result in weight regain. That's just the outcome. So like the other problem like going onto the second part of what you were saying is for me for a long time, and I think what is very common with most people is that we get on a diet having this idea that it's a limited period of time

because you cannot diet forever. Like properly dieting forever, the result is you starve to death. So it's not a forever thing. So the idea is I'm going to get to a place where I've lost this weight and then I'm done with my diet. And if you do not address all of the circumstances that we're leading to this condition that is undesirable, then when you're done with the diet,

you're just going back towards the condition that is undesirable. You're going back to me in that person. Yeah. Well, I got the stomach surgery. Yeah. I got the gastric sleeve surgery. But even that requires a lot of work.

It's not just you go in, you come out, and you're done and you never think about it again. Well, the way I looked at it is this, is, and this is why I got the surgery. and you're done and you never think about it again. Well, the way I looked at it is this, and this is why I got the surgery. I got sober from drugs and alcohol 37 years ago. Awesome. But I went away.

I went to a rehab for 14 months. Yeah. And I was taken out of society. I was taken, I woke up in the morning and it was all about that. And I didn't have to worry about girls or friends or family or school or any of that shit. I was in this place all day.

There was no fraternizing with women. We went to meetings. We went to, you know, we had groups. I learned about the program and I got a sponsor, blah, blah, blah, for 14 months. So that gave me the ability to kind of change everything and have new avenues to think and reconnect stuff. When you reemerge into real life,

there is an adjustment or there's kind of a trying to put that structure that you learned, lay that as the foundation of your real life. I had to go to meetings. I had to find another spot. You're not at the bar until 4 a.m. every night. You're not hanging out in rooms, small rooms with people doing coke or smoking crack. I was going to meetings.

Life changes. Yeah, every day. So that's the difference between traditional diets. It's like, even if you send some, you could look at like the biggest loser. They sent people to this camp. They have access to all the nutritional information, the best doctors, the best trainers, they're away.

Everyone loses weight. When you stick them back into real life, they all gain the weight back because they're not taking that structure and going, I need to apply this to my life forever. Right. Well, the reason why the surgery, the gastric sleeve surgery, to me, I looked at it like this.

I can't go to fat camp for 14 months. I can't go away for two years. I have to work, I gotta make money, I gotta family, I gotta keep this stupid show business thing we're in. You gotta keep going, it never stops. But my stomach can go, my stomach can go to rehab for a year and a half, two years. So my stomach became smaller, I could only,

I put a governor on me that didn't allow me to, so when those habits came in, number one, I got sick. I was aware of, I ate too fast. I ate like an asteroid was hitting the earth. That's what Norton used to say. He looked at me, he goes, dude, you eat like a fucking asteroid's about to hit there, slow down, you fat shit. That's what he said to me.

But, you know, I got to, so then, and then I would like throw up, even like this weekend, I ate a couple things, and I'm out, it was like certain foods will make me sick now. I got the poison out, I got to live my life, do my shows, and then I had to immediately start moving. I learned that the key to life for me is movement.

And working out. And I don't mean going to the fucking gym and hiring a trainer. That is a lot. It's a lot, dude, to hire another dude or somebody to, you're there and then you go in and you gotta be there and you're fucking, and I also found with trainers

after a very short period of time, I'm just finding ways to game them and slow them down and chat with them more and then I'm not doing the work and you get less and less out of it. I said I have to walk, I have to move my legs, I have to walk. I'm gonna work out like an 80 year old person.

I'm 50, I was 52 at the time. I'm gonna work out like an 80 year old. I'm gonna walk and I'm gonna lift dumbbells, lightweight dumbbells. I'm gonna do that as much as I can, but I'm gonna move every day. I'm gonna walk every day. And then slowly, slowly, slowly, I started,

all of a sudden I was mad one day and I realized I didn't work out. I didn't do it, I didn't work out. Whatever that is, I didn't get out. Whatever that thing it gives me, whatever it drops in my brain, whatever feeling I have, I was like, I didn't work out. I'm a twat today. I gotta go, and I went and worked out,

and I felt there's something that it does to you. I don't know what that is, but it makes you feel stronger and alive. Alive. And then, you know, I just kept doing that, and I'm doing it, and all of a sudden now, like we went away this weekend, I also wanna do is wake up and go down to the gym

and just get something in so that I can, I don't know what that is. I don't know what it is exactly either. You hear about like runners talk about endorphins and the runner's high. I can't run, but I get the same thing. That's why I go to the gym. It's just to feel better.

It's like psychotherapy or an antidepressant. My day sucks if I don't get some exercise in the beginning of the day. Right. And that's the thing too, is like everything is, how much weight did you actually take off of your body? 300 pounds. 300 pounds. I mean, because I saw an interview you did, dude, and you had 20 pounds of fat. Yeah, and you're holding it up and it's gargantuan.

It's this big, and it's just one of them, you had two of them, and it's 20 pounds. And you said you had 29 more of those you were carrying around. And I saw that and I was like, fuck man. Yeah, when you get into those terms where you're holding it outside of yourself, it's unimaginable.

You don't know how it's possible. And I've got tons of loose skin and there's obviously places and had much larger pants, but I cannot imagine that I was as big as I was. And even when I see pictures, there's some disconnect. It took me a long time to get that big. It took me a long time to lose that weight, but it's still just a staggering figure.

Because when you made that, that when you kind of put that on the table and I was like, oh my God, he had, I just imagined 27 more of those hunks, I would have covered the table, it would have went up high. Oh, Bert Kreischer just did it too, he lost 70 pounds, and he had a weight vest with the weight he lost on it, and put it on Tom Segura to let him feel

how much weight he lost. I mean, of course, he's on his website, he's monetizing that vest now, and it says The Machine on it. Is he selling weight vests? I'm curious. That wouldn't shock me. This is how much fat I had on me.

Yeah, if you wanna feel like The Machine. You wanna feel like The Fat Machine. No, but he, it's that, I lost a middle-aged woman. I lost, I think, what was it? I was 160, 155, somewhere in there, and I lost a, yeah, I lost 140 pounds, 135 pounds. Yeah, I lost my wife. You know, it's amazing because,

you know, a long day on my feet, my feet still hurt. You know, walking around, walking around the city. I walked 10 miles a day here. And I get home at night, and my knees and my feet hurt. And I'm like, why do they still hurt? But I would have never been able to do that at 500 pounds. It would have been cars and cabs and not walking anywhere. Did you get the surgery on the x-ray skin?

I had some taken off. I had some problems. I had a lot of anxiety when I had that surgery. You have to sit still for six weeks and not move a lot. I didn't know that. Yeah. I had 11 pounds of skin removed, which is a huge amount of skin. That's the size of my producer's head.

Yeah. It's a massive amount of skin. Danny, show them your head. It's a big head. 11 pounds. Big head. Yeah, so it's a massive amount of skin. Danny, show them your head. It's a big head. 11 pounds. I actually wanted to have, you know, but I also spent years trying to do like creams and lotions and red lights and wraps and mineral wraps and stuff to try to get the skin to tighten up and that's just not how it works. The skin is stretched for a certain amount of time. It grows to be a certain size in the skins in Oregon. It's not, the skin will not actually reduce.

It can get tighter, but if you've got such a large amount of it, it's not going to get smaller. I heard that intermittent fasting will help it, no? I heard that intermittent fasting because it will eat its, it will eat, no? No, bullshit. It doesn't eat itself. It, skin's an organ. That's like saying your heart will eat itself.

The skin's not eating itself. That won't happen, are you sure? No, it will not happen. First, if you starve yourself long enough, you will go through your fat, you will go through your muscle, and right before you die, your body will start consuming organs, but not, you are on through your muscle, and right before you die, your body will start consuming organs.

But you are on death's door, and it's not gonna consume skin at a rate faster than any other organs. So yeah, that was the thing that scared me about losing the weight, man, is that I'm gonna have, okay, I'm gonna lose the weight, but I'm still not gonna look good.

No. I'm still gonna feel shitty. That's, but I'm still not gonna look good. Still gonna feel shitty. And it's still gonna affect me. And luckily, I didn't have that big, like I didn't have it on my arms that much and stuff like that. But then I was like, you know what? I'm with my chick, we're married.

What am I doing? What am I fucking? Do you need to be in a Speedo at the beach? Did I need to do that at all? You know what I mean? Even when I was, I was not, what am I doing? What am I fucking? Do you need to be in a Speedo at the beach? Yeah, dude, did I need to do that at all? Right. You know what I mean? Even when I was, I was like, dude, what am I doing? That's some vanity shit.

That's some weird thing that's in my head. Again, it all comes down to other people. What will other people think of me? And I had to really eliminate that. And, you know, also too, I feel like when you lose the weight and you live healthy, now you can't be a victim. You know what I mean? That card is gone.

I can't be, I'm trying, you know, because I'm doing it, you're still looking good. That's why I didn't like accolades this time. People give me accolades, please don't give me, this is it, you're looking good. Like those, that's why I didn't like accolades this time. People give me accolades, I'm, please don't give me, this is just, I don't want. Just getting through life. I don't want it, I don't want it.

Number one, I don't believe you. Number two, they're kind of weird. You look better than what? A cow? Fuck off. You know, we were worried about you, that one hurt. You know what I mean? And then there's this, people don't know this.

You lose the weight, congratulations, oh my God, you look good, good. Dude, I liked you better when you were fat. Right. That's the one that comes. I like, dude, the new one, what are you fucking, what are you, a dickhead? It starts out with, what, do you got AIDS?

Yeah. You got cancer? Yeah, why, are you dying? You couldn't possibly, you couldn't possibly. This is not willpower alone. This is not, what is that? Are you spitting into the thing? This is a, on, this is the alternative toittin' another thing? This is a on.

This is the alternative to the Zin. First of all, Zins are too large. Okay. They're gigantic. This is smaller, packs the same punch. And it comes with a neat little trash can, so we're not spitting these out all over the place. That is the same sales pitch I give for my penis.

Yeah. Would you like one? I would like one, yes, I would try one. You know who gave me one of the Zins? On. You put it right, you put it where? I wedged them up top, but you can go anywhere. I did a Zin with, Shane gave me one,

and my head almost popped off. Yeah, well this is gonna knock your socks off. Oh great. I don't know, maybe that was, Zins get strong. Be funny, me and you just get addicted to everything again? Yeah. And in two years we're just fat fucks doing a podcast. Yeah, smoking crack.

Yeah, two fat fucks. Hey podcast. Yeah, smoking crack. Yeah, two fat fucks. Hey dude, get us in. Yeah, but that is, there is a cycle, then all of a sudden you're a dick. Now, I like the skinny Bob, you're a dick now. What, I have confidence now? Maybe I feel good, better? I don't know what that is.

So you can never, and with social media, you're never gonna get away from, you're never gonna get away from, you're never gonna get away from that. You're always gonna be the fat fuck. No, I, yeah, I have people, I've had numerous people contact me to say like, you don't understand, I was a heavy kid watching you on this TV show when I was a kid, gave me, made me feel like I belonged

and I could do whatever I wanted, you know? And now you're just some asshole that promotes weight loss. And it's like, not really, I'm not an asshole. First of all, I don't care if people lose weight. I don't think everybody has to lose weight, but I do understand that quite a few people want to lose weight and feel like it's impossible. And that I think is a perfectly valid conversation to have.

Did you, I found one, because, you know, I don't know if you know this, but I'm a thespian too. Yeah, I know that, of course. We've worked together. We did a movie together, which I can't wait to see. I don't know how, Stavros Halkeis, who is, you know, my baby boy, my son, he did a movie, his own movie, and I played his dad, and you played his brother, my son.

And I think I'm like three years younger than you. Three years younger than me, and you're so much bigger than me, like, it was such a weird, I don't understand how it's gonna play. And by the way, the mom was Stavros' age, wasn't she? She was, yeah, who was hot. Yeah. God, dude, if I wasn't married, she was smoking.

What a family. Dude, here's the thing. She looked like, they had her dressed like a mom in it, and then when we were leaving, she was in her own clothes. Yeah. I was like, what the fuck? I was like, god damn. You was sitting next to me all day?

Yeah. Anyways, yeah, we filmed the movie together, I was like, god damn, you was sitting next to me all day? Anyways, yeah, we filmed the movie together, but I remember when I was, so I don't know if you've definitely done this. I've gone from sexy, hot, in shape, getting roles, law and order, and then slowly getting fat. And all of a sudden, and I don't know, I'm just fat again. And all of a sudden I'm in the room

with a bunch of other fat dudes. I was always fat. You always fat. I started fat. You started fat. And yeah, I never was, there was no sexy version. One of the saddest thing I've ever seen in an audition was a fat chick came in

and she was like, god damn it. And I was like, what's up? And she goes, can't they give her in an audition was a fat chick came in and she was like, God damn it. And I was like, what's up? And she goes, can't they give her a name? And I just, it says fat chick. Right. You know what I mean? Which I was like, oh my God, I get that.

It's like, and what happens is it's sad is that your agent slowly stops calling. Oh, you don't get parts. And then all of a sudden you just get dropped. And now you're out in this world again, and you're like, I'm too, I'm kinda, cause, you know, it's hard, there's not many roles for fat people in Hollywood.

And the ones that are, you know what I mean? There's a couple people that have them. And that's when people are writing scripts, they're thinking of, we gotta get this guy. We gotta get Jack Black or Paul Walter Hauser or one of these guys. But those guys wanna lose weight also. Maybe not Jack Black,

he seems to be pretty comfortable with himself. He's also not that, he's not. He's Hollywood fat. He's Dom DeLuise fat. Yeah, he showed me he's Dom DeLuis fat Yeah, he'll take his shirt off and never he's like Bert Kreischer. Yeah, it doesn't care. Yeah, maybe not even as fat as Bert was You know, I'll take it yeah, okay I love Bert, but I'll take a nice hot Bert insult every once in a while. Yeah, sure Tom's girl, I love Bert too, But I'm kidding. I love Bert.

You know, I don't know that there's people sitting around worried about Jack Black. I don't know. I think Bert was worried this time. He looks pretty sincere about, because here's the deal, man. The older you get, you can fuck around. 20s, 30s, 40s, it starts to get serious. Yeah.

And it's like, with this business, it's like, you know, with this business, it's hard, it's hard. They, yeah, look at, yeah, he looks all right. That's like, that's like. He's not, I don't think there are people sitting around going, we're really worried about you. Yeah, I mean, they're worried about that beard, whatever's on his face.

That fucking Lord of the Rings thing he's got going on. But yeah. But it's like, you talked about something too. It's like, when you go on a set, I think you had a scenario too. Something just triggered you off. They said something about you being heavy. Yeah.

And that set you off. Like, I had a thing with, I was on a show called Sex, Drugs, and that set you off. I had a thing with, I was on a show called Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll with Leary, and I got the role. He wrote the role for me, and I was fat. And when I found out that we were gonna do this, I started losing weight. I was like, I don't wanna be,

and I showed up for the pilot, and he looked at me, he goes, what the fuck? I lost like 30, 40 pounds. He's like, fuck you doing? I wrote fucking 900 fat jokes for you on this thing. I better see you by the craft services with a donut in your hand, you fucking asshole. You know what I mean?

He wanted you fat. He didn't. Look, he was being leery, he's a comic, he's fucking with me. You know what I mean? He wanted me, I'm supposed to be heavy, like relax, don't fucking get shredded. Come with a rewrite this whole show,

but he didn't understand what he said to me. The fat person in me, do you understand what happened with that? The fat guy went, let's do it. Dude, I went on a tangent. I was like, let's go. You can put that 30 pounds on quick. Dude, I put it on mid-season.

Dude, I was eating cow tails. I was at the craft services. Anytime they come around during a break, I was, give me three of those. I went nuts. And you set it on a craft services on any set. It's a buffet all day long. And then they serve you,

and then there's like a breakfast truck and you can get whatever you want. And then craft service all day and a sandwich truck and lunch is catered. And then there's a second meal and they're passing hors d'oeuvres. It's fucking crazy how much they feed you. And most of the time we're doing what we're doing right now. Yeah.

Sitting down. Yeah, I mean, I get it for the grips or the electricians who are carrying shit around all day, you know, and doing hard physical labor who don't get it, who are never sitting down. They're sitting down for the 30 seconds that we're moving. Right. And the rest of the time they're moving and we're sitting down. Right. It's, it's, I understand why those guys eat a lot. I don't need to eat a lot. I don't need, exactly, and on a movie set or a TV show, it's hard to not become a, I remember one time on second season of Sex and Drugs,

Jack Lear, his son, wrote a thing for us where I had to get into a, you know those motorcycle onesies, the leathers? The onesies? I know what they are. I couldn't fit into one of those today. Dude, they had five people from wardrobe, five women. Just stuffing you in.

I had to lie on the ground, and two of them had to push my stomach as the other ones zipped, and the other ones had to stretch out the, they were literally pulling it, like a suitcase. And then were you just like? So dude, I'm in it like this, I could only stand, then we had to like stretch out the they were literally pulling it to like a suitcase and then were you just like so dude I'm in it like this I could only steal then we had to shoot the scene then they put a helmet on me and I had to dance and at

One point it just started going and I was like I'm gonna pass out and they heard my mic. I'm gonna pass out They're like God God. I just like sitting down Like a fucking fucking sausage It was one 16 hour day, that was a 16 hour. I was, they took me out of that. This one. Yeah, it was crazy. I mean, that type of shit, dude, go in a wardrobe

when you get fittings and they get your sizes. Well, the worst two for me was always like TV series where you go back next year and they're like, and you think like, no I'm done, I'm just gonna wear the shit I wore last year and they're like, well let's just see and they need to get all new clothes. Everything.

It's all gotta be bigger. And here's the thing with wardrobe people, is I love them, they're the best, but they're worried about what you look like, not what you feel, right? And they think you, I remember I did a Mammoth movie, Oleana. Okay.

He's awesome, Mammoth's awesome. Not to me. No, he was a dick? No, he wasn't a dick, I'm a dick. Did he direct it also? He was directing. It was in Boston and I went to wardrobe, which is as a fat person, an actor,

as a chubby person or heavy or whatever, if you're not Brad Pitt, then you're dreading the day that you have to go for your fitting. Yeah. And I went in and I'm supposed to be a college student at the time and I was heavy and nothing fit. They dressed me, honest to God, like Fred Flinstone. Right. And they ran out of backpacks, honest to God, like Fred Flinstone.

And they ran out of backpacks, so they gave me a bowling bag, literally. I said I looked like Fred Flinstone, she handed me a bowling bag. I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? So I'm in this movie, and I'm such a tub of shit. I'm starving. I'm an extra, by the way.

I'm just in the background. I'm an extra. So we were sitting, this was when cell phones first came out. So, I was sitting, they have us just sitting out in the sun like cattle. And I don't understand this. My first time being an extra, my first movie,

my acting teacher, Pete Kelly, shout out, what's up, son? Got me the part, the extra. And I'm just like, what the fuck, I'm starving. There's no craft services near us, you know what I mean? And even then extras are shooed away from craft services or they were. They used to be shooed. They have their own little water hut.

Right, and it is a water hut. It's a water hut with a bag of fucking nuts. Right, everybody's touching the same nuts, yeah. So I have a cell phone, because I'm always into the latest and greatest attacks. Even back then, I'd call up, I'd order a pizza. Ah! Ah!

And they'd bring it to you? So here's the thing, so there was this German woman, like eight feet tall with a headset, you must go here, sit here, we will be with you in a minute, you know, just a twat. And I'm sitting there in the sun under like a willow tree, just fucking starving. All of a sudden I hear, who ordered pizza? And all the extras are like, huh?

Who ordered pizza? And I went, I did, because I wanted the pizza. I should have just let it go, but I was like, I really wanted it. I thought you, you know, she goes, you ruined shot. I guess the pizza guy came up. Just walked right through it. Drove up during a take.

Mammoth, it's fucking mammoth. Drove up during a take, wah wah. Hey, I got a large cheese, half pepperoni. Fucking ruined the take. And she's like, I go, she goes, you ruin take! You're not supposed to! And I was like, I'm starving. Where's the pizza? She goes, we shoot him away.

We fucking sent him away. You didn't even get the pizza? I go, I'm fucking hungry. She goes, we feed you. I go, when? Right. All the extras turned on me. You can't do that. You shouldn't.

You shouldn't. This is how you make it. I go, this ain't how you make it. I'm done. There is something about, some people are extra precious about that, you know? And I get it, like. No, I understand it.

A lot goes into setting up a shot and stuff. But. Well dude, here's where the dickhead I am, we go to lunch, I just walk up, you're supposed to let crew eat first. So they're like, yo, beat it. I'm like, I had a plate of food, like roast beef, rice, all kind, like two.

I was like, and I had to put it down. I was like, ugh, then I waited. Then I got behind Mammot, and then I sat with M it down. And I was like, ugh, then I waited. Then I got behind Mammoth. And then I sat with Mammoth. Did you? I sat with the producers and Mammoth. And they were like, you can't be here. You have to go and eat and you're hot.

They had to eat. I was fucking miserable, dude. I was so miserable. I tried to sit with Mammoth and have lunch with him. I was so hungry. I tried to sit with Mamet and have lunch with him I was so hungry. I was and they just chased you away. How was the guy ordered the pizza? Did he know that he didn't know thank God dude? No, thank God But uh, yeah, if you ever watch Oleana, you might catch me in the background Just looking like if you see a bunch of college students and then Fred Flintstone With a bowling ball bag.

That was terrible, man. But yeah, like acting now though, you're in so much shit. You have such a great look, and it's so, I love that you went from, because that would be a career ender, you know what I mean? Like, because you're not that guy anymore. I started losing weight.

This is killing me, by the way. What, is it? I mean, I'm fucking zipping. is killing me by the way. What is it? I'm fucking zipping. Yeah. We're going to start talking fast. It's the best. I better hold on. They're nootropics too.

What the fuck? I'm sober. No, no, it's not. It's not psychoactive. Big words. Bring them down. Yeah. They make you think fast.

Thanks. But not quite like Adderall. I'm going to get some today. Yeah. Nicotine and caffeine. Nice. I have a coffee, I have a double shot. I have a lot of espresso right here. Bro, if I want a really party, I get a Diet Coke. Fucking awesome.

We used to do drugs, we used to eat. Now, dude, I really wanna party? Fucking coffee. My wife drinks. Diet Coke, yeah. And I'm such a party pooper in social things, because I don't. And so she knows, like, if I want to get them going. So when she orders me a Diet Coke, I know we're in for a big one.

What does a Diet Coke do? I don't understand. I just feel, you know, get a little caffeine at night, because I don't do caffeine after, like, 8 o'clock in the morning. So if she gives me some caffeine and just the sense memory of holding a beverage that's not a cup of water, you know?

It's good. Gets me fucked up. It's, yeah, this is fucking zipping me right now. But yeah, like did that switch with you? Like the, like now you're, you're this fucking, you've switched it up and you've become this whole different dude in movies now, which I love, I love seeing you, because you're just such a fucking presence.

I can't play the fat guy anymore. No. And I think that that definitely limits me because that's what people for many years knew me as, and so if somebody's going like, we need a fat guy, they're definitely not thinking of me. Or if they are, they don't know that I've lost weight. So I think it limits me. But I got to the point where I,

2012, I was clinging to life on diets. And I got feedback finally enough times of people saying, like, they don't wanna see you, because you lost weight. And so I was like, well, fuck this, I'm just not gonna diet anymore. And I gained, I went back up to 400 pounds. Jesus.

And I got a TV show, and I was like, see, I knew it. Was that Earl? No, that was a TV show called Chance. Me and Hugh Laurie did it. It's a good TV show, it was like, see, I knew it. Was that Earl? No, that was a TV show called Chance. Me and Hugh Laurie did it. It's a good TV show, it's on Hulu. Right. And then I tore my bicep while filming that, doing some stunt and I had to go get it repaired

and my wife who's never cared about how I look, she's never worried about me, she's never thought, you know, we got together at my heaviest. And then the day I wanted to die, she was super supportive of it, but she wasn't supportive in a way of like, oh, thank God you're finally doing this.

She was just like, yeah, if you want to, you can do that, I'll help you. And when I had to go in, the doctor said, normally we do this as like an outpatient thing. You meet in like a clinic, you get the surgery and you leave, but because of your weight, you have to go to a hospital. It's a much bigger deal. Like we have to have people there monitoring you while you're unconscious.

And that freaked her out. And she said like, Hey hey listen, whatever the number is that you can do outpatient stuff and it's not a risk in anesthesia, get to that number. I don't care what it is. And you know, that was like 2017 and I just went like, fuck, I'm done. I don't wanna be heavy anymore.

I don't like it. And so I got to a place where I'm comfortable. Yeah. And now, cause I'm at that point now where, and it sucks because I lost all this weight, I did all this work, and then people are still like, you know, you're still fat. And it's like, god damn it.

Well, I had that too. And in your brain, you are, I know. Yeah, but in 2012, I was obsessed with cardio. I was doing eight hours a day on a bicycle, riding up mountains in California, all day. My name is Earl ended, I became obsessed with cycling. I got legitimately thin. Please don't tell me you got the outfit.

Oh yeah, your guy can find pictures of me in spandex for sure with the logo like you're on a team I was on a team you were yeah, I was a full-blown. I went to you the dickhead on the highway absolutely I went to France wrote every tour of every stage of the Tour de France one year. Oh, yeah I was obsessed with I don't first I don't mind that but when I see some fucking Yeah, I was obsessed with riding bikes. First of all, I don't mind that, but when I see some fucking suburban dad with a fucking, with an outfit and sponsors like he sponsored, I wanna hit him with my car.

I was fully sponsored. Oh, you were sponsored, okay, good. I was into it. When I see some chubby Indian dude on a bike up in Westchester, I should be able to hit him with my truck. Yeah. I had fucking paparazzi following me around. Really?

Taking pictures of me. And like there were press articles that said the downside of losing weight. And they just zoom in on like loose skin on my legs. And then I did something with TMZ like caught me going into a bike shop and was interviewing me and then one of the TMZ guys said well, he's still fat and I mean like I Did I rode my bike 200 miles that day 200 fucking miles 200 miles and the thing that they focused in on is my legs

What a funny I in that picture. I'm 13% body fat, which is insanely lean. You were, how heavy were you at the biggest? 550. 550. And that's about 230. And it's never enough. And that was the story.

So when I lost weight recently, and I've now maintained my weight. I mean, can we stop you? You do look like an asshole. Of course. Well, people, yeah. I know I get it. And I'm sure you, you know what bugs me most about that? Is if you're there, you sound like you're an asshole because you're clicking. Yeah. Like you're Sammy Davis Jr.

Yeah. Click, click, click, click, click. Oh yeah. It becomes like a, like a Montrez, a Zen thing. Yeah. Just getting to pedaling. Yeah. That's so fucked up. Yeah, and so this time around, I was like, I don't care. I'm not talking to people about it.

This is just for me, I don't care what anybody says. I'm gonna get to a place where I'm comfortable. And yeah, that's what I did. Well yeah, but I don't, like people, how much do you weigh? I don't know. Well don do you weigh? I don't know. Yeah. Well don't you weigh?

I don't. Well shouldn't you, I'm like listen man, I ain't doing this for anybody anymore. Right. I'm doing this to stick around for my kid and my wife. Yeah. I'm doing this for my health. I'm doing this for me.

And I don't, I'm not doing this to get, you know, to get to a point where you're gonna accept me, or you're gonna be like, dude, you did it. Because that day's never gonna come. I don't think I'm ever gonna feel like I'm there. You don't, I never had that feeling. There has never been a day where, oh, there was one day where I did a cut for a photo shoot,

for a photo shoot, for a picture of me with my shirt off. And so you lose all the weight you can, and then you mess with your water. You drink a shitload of water for a week, and then you stop eating salt for a few days. Then you stop drinking water, and you purge all the excess water, and you're as lean as you can possibly be.

And that day I took photos and I was like, this is what I wanna look like forever. And by noon, you don't look like that anymore. You know what I mean? It lasts 10 minutes and your fucking vision's going when you stand up because your blood sugar's low because you haven't had any salt at all and you've purged your system of glycogen

and so you're weak and you've been dieting for so long that you're miserable. Yeah. And so it becomes very tough, but I'm now at a comfortable place where I'm not crabby all the time. I'm at a weight that's healthy. I'm at a body fat percentage that's healthy.

I exercise every day and I'm happy. It's not for anybody else. But I'm also like recognized that I'm never going to be happy like I thought I would be happy. Dude, I woke up this morning. I felt great. Well, like I worked out Saturday, Friday and Saturday, and I felt fantastic Saturday night. Sunday afternoon, I felt like shit. Yeah. Saturday night, Sunday afternoon, I felt like shit. I went home, it was pancake Sunday, I have keto pancakes, but still, I ate clean for like four days, and I worked out, and I felt that thing, like yeah dude, and then I went home, and I had a couple keto pancakes,

and I was like. And then you get hungover, yeah. You get like, oh fuck, and then this morning, it's like this every day, I feel like I And then you get hungover, yeah. You get like, ah fuck, and then this morning, you know, it's like this every day, I feel good, I feel bad, I feel, and then golf a bit when you feel bad, somebody says something or you catch something,

or you catch something on the internet, or I hang out with all comics. Right. They're the meanest people ever. Yeah. We really are. They're the fucking meanest, we're the meanest people ever. We really are. They're the fucking meanest. We're the meanest people on earth.

But not, it's not, it's in a, we're trying to be funny. And I do, I kind of do respect that. And I do respect comedy fans that they're, you know, it's kind of keeping you in check. I do love that about comics. When you do something stupid or something,

we'll hit you with it. And we'll fuck with you with it. You're not getting away with it. You're not getting away. I feel like, people used to ask me during the, all the woke shit that happened, do you feel like comedy is in trouble? And comedy, no.

Is there stuff you can't say or do? It's like, no, that's for actors. Actors have to play that. I feel bad for actors. Because you can't, if you come out and say something or do something, anything they'll use against you to fuck with you or to put something like comics, we can say whatever the fuck we want,

because in that thing, we're trying to get to funny. Well, you also have, there's no committee who is involved in presenting your art form. Actors, it's all done by committee. Before it gets to us, 40 people have gone through it and adjusted it and then even when you're doing it, there's a bunch of people making decisions about how it's gonna be presented.

So it is a little bit less of like an individual sport, whereas a comedian, you know, even if you're bouncing stuff off your friends, it's really up to you to create what you're gonna do. And then you're alone on a stage. It's just you. Yeah, and we can say fucked up shit. I said, dude, we say the most outrageous shit on stage

and that's what we do, that's what we're supposed to do. Actors, it's almost like I feel bad for you because you have to be perfect. You're representing some type of thing that doesn't exist. Where like, you know, a studio or this whole big thing. It's corporate to a big city. It's corporate, that's it. That's the word I was looking for, it's corporate. Comedy's not corporate, it gets corporate.

There's versions of it, but even if you look at like, the best example of this for me is Bob Saget. Yeah, he died. I know, I'm sorry. I know. He was surely your friend. I was letting you know. But he paints, he illustrates this perfectly.

Yes, and I know he died. Yeah, I was kidding. It's very tragic. That was a joke, I'm sorry. Are you good, yeah, take a moment. Let's take a sagget moment. Go ahead. Thank you for your time, buddy.

I didn't, I was not familiar with him as a comedian. I knew him from Full House. And he presents the most milquetoast, clean cut, fucking American dad possible. And then it wasn't until much later when that was over. And I think even after America's, he did America's Fathers. So it was even after that, I still didn't know him. And then I saw him do standup in LA and I was,

my head exploded. He was a fucking animal. You know what I mean? Nothing like what he has presented to the world through the corporations. Not as bad as Kramer. Right, true. That's a good point.

But dude, he was on the Opie and Anthony tour, which back in the day, Opie and Anthony was like, Stern and Opie and Anthony. And we did a big, it was called the Virus Tour. It was just fucking anarchy, you know, crazy. But it was. It sounds fun. Burr, Patrice O'Neill, me, Jim Norton.

I mean, everybody who was any, Rich Voss, we were all on this tour together, Louie, and then Bob Saget was on the thing. I'm like, why? Right. We're all like, what the fuck? And he went out, dude, and he's just. And he hung.

He's disgusting. Yeah. He's hilariously fucking a vile piece of shit. Yeah. And the crowd was like, what? It was shocking, it was just refreshing. Shockingly refreshing to see him. It was so great seeing him because I had no idea

who he was or what he wanted to say. Yeah. And when you see that, it's got fuck all to do with what the corporations Right him to say they just presented him as the dad. Yeah, what's the fucking dad? Did even have kids? I don't think so. Did he have kids? I think yeah, I think he has a kid. Okay Hang on one sec real quick There's a there's a piece of technology in front of you that you can type in and it will tell you. I don't know if you guys know that.

I know you guys are autistic and you do all the math in your head. He has three children. Thank you, Danny. Fuck, he was the dad. He was a dad. Sounds like a fun dad. A much different dad than I imagined him.

Yeah, and your parents were actors. Actors too, right? Are you from LA? No, they went to college for acting in Pittsburgh at an acting college and then moved here and I was born here and then moved to LA because they quit the business. They were disgusted by the business

and the idea of raising kids in the business, even though it was theater, which I don't know anything about theater, moved to LA. They talked to me about acting my whole life. And I really started acting because it sounded like a great alternative to going to school. Going to school sucks. And the actors that I knew in LA who were kid actors

didn't have to go to school. They got to play Make Believe All Day. There was an abundance of food surrounding them at all times, they did max two and a half hours of school in a fucking trailer with a chick who like, you know, isn't really paying attention. And the best part was that the actors that I knew as kids, nobody looked at them and thought, that's Soleil Moonfry, they thought that's Punky Brewster.

And it seemed like a fucking invisibility cloak. So me as this fat kid who has nothing but shame about myself thought, well, if I could get this veneer that distracts people from looking at me, that would be amazing. Yeah, yeah. I feel too that, you know, like that school thing, I feel like I'm going through this with my kid.

It's like, you know, my kid is highly intelligent. And I figured out a way, I was the same way. I figured out a way how to be successful. Yeah. You know, and it's through this business, through acting and comedy and stuff like that. But I couldn't do it that way. You know, like you go to school, go to college,

get a job, blah, blah, blah, build this thing. I've, even in spite of all the bullshit, in spite of the drugs and the juvie hall and the fucking food addiction, sex addiction, every addiction there is, I still am successful. I found a way. And then there's part of me like, wow, imagine if you dealt with all this shit back then.

How successful, you know what I mean? Like, wow. Now I think about that too. But I also think like, I don't wanna live in regret, and I think like, what if we dealt with that shit, Bobby, and were just some accountant somewhere. That's not appealing to me. No, it's not appealing.

And no offense to the accountants who love their lives, but that is not appealing to me. Yeah, like I say to my wife, I go, you know what? I never liked math. He has, I didn't like math. I did what I wanted to do. I found what I liked. I went through my shit.

And then I found some dude who loves math to do my math. And I'd pay that fucker to do my math. Bob, great guy. I stopped going to school at 14. My wife stopped going to school at 14. Is she an actress too? No, she is not an actress, but her family had actors. Her sister's an actress, her father was an actress.

Wow. Her father was a dope actor named Jeffrey Lewis. Did you ever see Every Which Way But Loose with Clint Eastwood? I love that movie. He's the guy in the truck with the orangutan. That's my wife. His brother?

Yeah. I loved him. And he's in a shitload of movies. He was amazing. He was in lots of Westerns. He did, by the way,'s in a shitload of movies. He was amazing. He was in lots of westerns. He did, by the way, he did a shitload of movies with Clint Eastwood. Yeah, Clint, well Clint, if he liked you,

you were in his movies. You came back, yeah. Yeah, you came back, especially that weird blonde chick that he fucking was bopping for a while. He stuck that untalented person in all his fucking. She was in a lot of them, yeah. I mean, dude, I mean, there's so many other people that could have been in those movies. Why do you, why do you like me?

Mm-hmm, oh fuck off. I wonder why. I really, it reminds me of some comics that fucking made some other comics famous. What the fuck's wrong with you? But yeah, he put, but he was in, that's wild that that, because those movies are so stupid. You can think of it.

But I love those movies. Those movies are where they're sitting around and they're like, we gotta make a movie. What should we make a movie about? What if it's two guys in a truck being chased by the sheriff? Great, let's do it. Yeah, I was at the zoo the other day.

You ever seen an orangutan? Right, let's get one of them. Pretty smart. Yeah. Yeah, let's name it, my uncle Clyde reminds me of a fucking orangutan. Dude, Yeah, let's name it. My uncle Clyde, remind me of fucking a ragged tank. Dude, right turn Clyde and he just punched the fuck. And the, who was it?

The spider gang, the biker gang that was after him. And the grandmother was the best. Yeah. Remember that broad? Yeah. That fucking. She was amazing. She was the best.

That's what I love movies back then. Cause it was either holy shit movies like the Godfather right or just garbage Yeah, it was just throwing whatever you can against the wall and fucking editing it to get any which way but loose And then there was a part two. Yeah, any which way. What was that one called? I forget that one Any which way you can or some shit. Something like that. Something like that. That was wild, that's wild. Did you know him?

Yeah. Wow, that's great. One day, my favorite moment with him was he called me up and he said, come pick me up. So I drive over to his house, I pick him up, and he's older at this point, but not so old. He was super into guns and street fighting and stuff.

And he was wild. Picked him up. I said, what are we doing? He said, drive to Malibu. We drive to Malibu. I'm like, where do you want to go? He says, turn right on PCH. So we're driving and he's looking around.

And he goes, OK, finally after like 20 minutes, go back down, turn south. So we go down and he's looking and looking and looking. And I finally said, Jeffrey, what are we doing? And he said, we're gonna find Sean Penn and we're gonna kick his fucking ass. And I was like, okay. And so we fucking cruise PCH.

And he said, okay. Whatever, if he wants to beat up Sean Penn, that's what we're doing. And finally I was like, what'd he do? What did Sean Penn do? And Sean Penn had made some comment about the Iraq war that pissed Jeffrey off. I didn't have a fucking dog in this fight,

but my father-in-law wants to kick Sean Penn's ass. We're going to kick Sean Penn's ass. That's great. We didn't find him. We went and had frozen yogurt and went home. It was a good day. It'd be funny if he was having frozen yogurt there. Right, yeah.

He was just sitting there. But we found him and we got you. We'd be funny if he was having frozen yogurt there. He'd just sit in there. We found him, we got you, we're all, let's finish our frozen yogurt first. That's what men were men. You know, that type of guy doesn't exist anymore. Even Sean Penn pretends to be that guy, but he's really not. No, no.

You know, that's, Clint Eastwood was a man. Right, yeah. Oh, fuck, they used to make movies, just guys beating the shit out of, now when they make a movie like that, they gotta have some girl come in and fight them. And you're pretty tough. Did you watch the Academy Awards?

It makes me sad, dude, because I loved Hollywood. I loved the glamor, I loved the glitz, and I loved all the bullshit, the red carpets, and I loved the dream that you I loved all the bullshit, the red carpets, and I loved the dream that you could maybe be part of that. That at some point you could be, you know, maybe there and be part of that. Kind of cool, the awards.

I used to watch every awards. I used to go to Oscar parties where you would bet. Like all these other. Yeah, you'd do a pool. All these fucking other nerdy actors and we'd all be around, have a party and a pool and some stupid dog would be there, some exotic dog. Some chick broad, this is my Irish shepherd mix.

And I used to love it, I used to love it, but I guess it might be my age, but I think it's because of what the business has become that it's, I don't know, it seems disingenuous to me now. So I- I don't watch it. I didn't watch last year. I watched this year,

because I really liked Oppenheimer. I liked that movie and I liked Poor Things. I watched Oppenheimer the way it should be watched. In an IMAX theater? No, on a Delta flight, on a TV this big. Come on, that's a big, beautiful movie. But I'm watching Anatomy of a Fall, there were good movies last year.

I was actually interested for the first time in a while. And they flipped, I get it, were progressive, okay, society and culture moves it evolves it changes. We got to change with it. I understand I understand if you want to flip the male and female like forever and the whole point of the Oscars is You're saving the best most prestigious awards for last night And then you put best supporting actor and best supporting actress upfront to hold people because maybe not everybody's gonna watch through costume design.

Maybe that's not what they wanna see the actors, the stars. So you give that early, but then ultimately, the most prestigious important awards are last. They flipped, not only did they flip actress and actor, I get it, if you wanna do that and you put the girls second, fine. Have the guys open up for the girls. Put them second, shut them up.

They, they. Oh, you know that was a dude who did that, by the way. They moved. I put them up, shut them the fuck up. They moved best actress after best director. Shut up. After best director. It went best actor, best director, best actress, best picture.

And so you had Steven Spielberg and Christopher Nolan as the opening act for Emma Stone winning. And I'm a fan of Emma Stone. I think she's great. She was great in her movie, but she is not fucking, it's not the same job. The actor is not anywhere near the same job as the director. The director is working for months ahead of time.

Years. Years, 24 seven during the shoot, and then months if not years after to get it finished. That is a fucking big, they're responsible for everything. To put that before best actress, I don't fucking understand. That's what's fucking me up about this thing. It's like you want equality. Well, equally, if you're gonna go,

this is the most, the movie, the director, then the actor. Then the actors. And I get it, if you wanna have the men open for the women, totally fine. But you don't put actress after director. That fucking, it's insane. That's the shit that takes me out of it. You take me out of the movie.

Me too. And I feel like the thing that they've represented with Hollywood, the whole thing is this movie. This whole thing is this dream and this, you know, when you used to open up with all this fun stuff, it never really got political. It got political a couple of times. You had Marlon Brando send the Indian girl up

to accept the award on behalf of, yeah. Yeah, but she was hot. Right. That was as political as it got. They sent out the mom, the Indian mom, some chubby Indian chick, just hello. Right. Ha, ha. You know, it was, you know, he sent out the mom, the Indian mom, some chubby Indian chick, just hello. Right. Ha, ha, you know, it was, you know,

he probably sent out some chick who was banging on his island. Right. You know, Mollin Brenda was fucking everybody. Right. Out of all people, dude. Yeah, he was the guy making the statement. You're a piece of shit.

You're a piece of shit too, but fine. But it was once in a while. Movies are to escape the reality that we're in, and this award show stuff has become a platform to make me feel bad about myself, or make me think about the other shit. That's like, movies do that now. You know, they create shit that isn't real.

And your job is to make me suspend reality for an hour and a half or two hours. You're supposed to give us an escape. Give me an escape and now when you put stuff in there, that's not real, doesn't make sense, that never happens. It's annoying. You just did that to be politically correct.

You did that to make a... It's pandering. It's pandering. Does Emma Stone get up there and think, I mean, maybe she's not even thinking about it, but is there, if you said what's the more important job, the director or you as the actress? The fucking director is paramount.

But I mean, look, we did treat women like shit for a long time. I agree. I just, I understand. Sure, by the way, I have four daughters. I'm all for women's rights and equality good. But even women don't agree with it. Well, that's just crazy. Yeah.

That's just psychotic. That's the type of stuff where they jam it down your throat. It's like you could have put her right before director in the movie. Totally. And nobody would have gave a fuck. I mean, that's cool.

Guys don't give, we don't care anymore. We don't care about any of that shit anymore. Nobody gives a shit. Nobody cares about gay. You know what I mean? That's, when I was a kid, there was a same-sex couple who had a kid in class with me. What? No, I'm kidding. In the late 80s. there was a same-sex couple who had a kid in class with me.

What? Yeah. No, I'm kidding. In the late 80s. Right, yeah. Well, that was... Yeah. Maybe it was just the 80s.

That was a hard, that was a crazy time. And it was unusual. Right. But the kid never got picked on. It wasn't, but it was not typical. And today, my kid, It never got picked on, but it was not typical. And today, my kids do not blink an eye. There's lots of same-sex couples, and it doesn't register as unusual to them.

That was in California though, right? Yes. I lived in Boston. So maybe it was more unusual. That would happen, that kid would have got picked on. Right. But mothers are queer. But today they wouldn't.

Do you think they would today? No dude, I had my sons. That's fucking a big deal that we changed that much. My son's fifth birthday. I had Bailey J and her husband who was a transgendered porn star sitting next to Dolores, my neighbor. She's 80, Catholic, married to a Marine, sitting right next to her.

You look very pretty today. Thank you. Thank you. No, she doesn't talk like that. She's like, thank you very much. But yeah, it's my son, my friend, my best friend, Jim Norton is married to a trans beautiful woman. And they come over, how's they spent Thanksgiving with us?

And my kid, it doesn't matter. It doesn't even, he actually said, Dad, is that, was that, is she, really didn't even know, but then kind of asked about it, and I was like, she's a transgendered woman. She's a woman. And he was like, okay. And he just went about his day.

It's just like, fine, he doesn't care about any of that. His friends has same parent moms. He goes over there and plays. It's not a thing anymore. It's really not. It's amazing how quickly that's changed and become fine. I give Jim Norton full credit in the comedy community, the fact that he would bring that up for years about liking trans women.

And he got shit for it. We fuck with him. We still fuck with him a little bit, joking wise, but he's the guy who's like, yeah, it doesn't really matter, man. Nobody feels uncomfortable with that. It's just, we're beyond that, I think. No one really cares about that.

Trans women and stuff, great. Because I feel bad, I do, I feel bad for trans women because where are you gonna go to get a job where you feel comfortable, where people aren't gonna fuck with you, where are you gonna go? And a lot of them went into the sex industry because that's where you were accepted, this deep dark secretive.

And most of the men that they were, and I've talked to them, most of the men that they would see were straight men. Men that would probably make fun of them. Men that would do, that's the most of the guys that would wanna be with them were those guys, right? And now it's like, just go get a job. Be on the train, be on movies, be in TV, who gives a shit, nobody cares.

And I love that that's happening, but there's gonna be a point too where it's like, you guys gotta just fit in with us. You wanted equality, you wanna be with us, like gay people, it's not a big deal, people guys kissing or girls kissing, it's not a big deal. But don't, like don't fucking jam it in our faces.

Some people, some religions don't believe in it. And it's to the point now, it's like, look, I don't believe in it, in my religion, but do whatever you want. Isn't that what we wanna be? Is it? My exposure to it as a kid was in the 90s. There was a place on the Lower East Side

called Stingy Lulu's. I don't know if it's there. One of my favorite places to go. I stopped using drugs, so I don't go there anymore. We go to Tompkins Square Park, get drugs, go to Stingy Lulu's, spend the night going in and out of the bathroom there. And it was great food. And every 10 or 15 minutes, all the gals would break into song and be standing on tables.

They were the most fun people. They are. And now, if they don't have to only work at Stingy Lulu's, they're at Starbucks, they're at fucking wherever, and it's completely fine. Yeah, I mean, my pharmacy person, I believe, is trans, but during the day, he's more of a dude. And I think at night, probably he changes more into, not even, no one bats an eyelash.

Doesn't matter. I don't care you're wearing, you know you have beautiful long hair, beautiful skin, and nice nails. It doesn't even affect me. I guess that we have to kind of go through that, but I just wish Hollywood wouldn't be so fucking... Well, they get puritanical about it, you know? And like, it's one thing to like, Stingy Lulu's

was punk rock, and it was fun, and today the paradigm has shifted, and everybody seems to be okay with it. You don't need to preach at us. Now, that's it. We're all doing it. Most of us are doing it. Yeah. I mean, they bring up the Ku Klux Klan. I haven't, I've never met anybody in the Klan.

I've never seen the Klan. And the one Klan that I've seen is so pathetic. Yeah. It's like 15 dudes, most of them not in shape. Right. Back in the day, you think of the Klan, it was like American History X, just jacked motherfuckers with tattoos and bald head. Now it's some dude.

Well, that's the other thing. I think in the 90s, there was a larger presence and nobody gave a shit. Nobody gave a shit. And so you needed movies like American History X to point it out. But now it's like anybody I disagree with is in the Klan.

And you go like, no, you can't live that way. You can't live where a disagreement about some trivial thing makes that person evil, because that's not true. Yeah, yeah, it's absolutely not. And I just think, you know, it's sad to me that the politics and all this crazy shit has seeped into something that I love. I love show business.

I love acting. I love all that stuff. And now when you watch these shows, you're gonna be hit. You're gonna have to make a choice at one point to be like, yeah. Now what the fuck was that? You're gonna have to think about news. You're gonna have to think, well you should think of that.

No, that's not what this was. This was, you guys are pretending at a high level. That's what we're doing. We're pretending. We're doing make believe. We're doing make believe at a high level. That's it. You're doing it in front of 50 people.

That's all you're doing. I mean, acting, I love it and I appreciate the greats That's it, you're doing it in front of 50 people. That's all you're doing. I mean, acting, I love it and I appreciate the greats and I love when it's done right and there's nothing better whether you can watch something that somebody thought of in their head and then wrote it down and then somebody else took,

and then you got a crew of people that all know how to light something and make it seem real, make it seem, and then all you feel an emotion from these people, and especially knowing how hard, what goes into it, how many takes, and the editor had to get a hold of that with the director after, and then they had to light it, they had to go color correct it,

and then they had to add a score to it, and certain music to make you, to really elicit some type of response, like an emotional response at this moment that they wanted to get you and they got you and you feel it and you're like, fuck. That's what it's about to me. But once you break that,

once you reveal, you just can't show or be so obvious about your agenda. Agenda, yeah. You know what I mean? If you're trying to paint the world just can't show or be so obvious about your agenda. Agenda, yeah. You know what I mean? If you're trying to paint the world in the way you want it to be, do it with less of an authoritarian position of like,

this is how it must happen. You know what I mean? Paint me a picture that is attractive to me, that makes me wanna live in that world. Not in a world where you say, this is the world you have to be a part of, because that just repels me. Right, yeah. Yeah, it's like, it's not authentic.

That's why I like Yellowstone. I like Taylor Sheridan a lot, because he really, and sometimes he- I think he got fed up with all of this and just went, I'm gonna do my own thing, and his own thing is proven to be very popular. And that's usually what fucking Hollywood doesn't understand. That the authentic people will always,

that type of shit people are gonna go watch. Like Yellowstone is a hit TV show because it was about a real thing. And they added stuff in there, like Beth. Strong women. We need strong women. Okay, great. Here's what a strong woman looks like.

Here's a strong woman. Here, here, here. She's strong. She's also very pretty. But she needs rip to fucking beat people up. It's not like she's getting beat up. You know what I mean? She does get beat up quite a few times. She gets the shit kicked out her. She's being raped

Yeah, and she goes go ahead you little I bet you got a little dick do it. Yeah, that's like fuck you You ain't gonna get me on I was like, oh my god That's this and then of course rip comes in and beats the shit out of him Yeah, and then she gets an ashtray and smashes his skull after he's fucking, you know, just about to die. That's realistic to me. You know what I mean? Like my wife's not gonna beat the shit out of two cowboys. You know, it's just, it doesn't,

but in some movies it's like, you know, all of a sudden this girl will beat the shit out of nine Russian guys, and you're like, get the fuck out of here, stop it. Get the fuck, I'm out. I'm out unless you know, it's kung fu and she can fly right if it's coming If it's the matrix, yeah, I could deal with it, you know what I mean? But if it's reality make it real do keep it real don't don't pander to that shit So now you may you seems seems like your career's on fire now too.

It's going fine. I'm under contract to Amazon, which is tricky because... Explain what that is to people. People don't understand what that is. You have to go meet with them. Well, I do a TV show for them, and so I can't do a TV show for somebody else. What's the TV show you're doing? It's called The Pradeep's of Pittsburgh.

And it's about an Indian family that moves from India to Pittsburgh. And they get me and my very white Christian wife as neighbors. And there's a lot of tension between the households. And it's very, very funny. But the strike has screwed up when they're releasing stuff, so we don't know when it's coming out.

It should be out very soon. And it's, so you're a Pittsburgh dude? Yeah. I'm a pencil tuckie dude. What's that? You leave Pittsburgh, you leave Philly. Pittsburgh is like almost the south. You know, I'm from more of that part of.

So they move in and you're like, what's that fucking smell? Basically. Paprika? Basically, there's a lot of that. Right, yeah. Yeah. That's great, man.

Yeah, that'll be fun. That's great. I mean, my favorite show in the world is All in the Family. Right, yes. Kids don't know about that show. Yeah. He's like, Danny, have you ever watched

All in the Family? No. Max. Kids don't know about that show. Yeah. He's like, Danny, have you ever watched All in the Family? No. Max? He wasn't alive when they were making All in the Family. Yeah, but still, it's such a relevant show because it's this one guy who is a bigot, not a racist, bigot, which there's a difference. Sure. He doesn't know.

And he's literally, it's pushed in his face every day. And they're not like, they're like, you know, you got Meathead who's a liberal. You know what I mean? You got the daughter who's a liberal, who loves, and then you got the wife who's the strongest person on the show. Literally, but she comes off as the weakest.

Dingbat. He calls his wife fucking dingbat. It's a great show. How many times I wanna call on. Norman Lear, right? Norman Lear. And he wrote that show, and the Jeffersons came out of that.

All these other shows came out of that. And it's just, fuck, it's, I wish they would start making those type of shows again, where, you know, you could deal, like when they fired Roseanne, I was like, you guys are fucking idiots. You had 25 million people watch that show. Dude, nowadays, that many people watch that show.

And she said something stupid. She made a joke and it didn't hit the mark. Right? But it wasn't an evil joke. No, and the part is too, she said that the lady looked like, she was on Planet of the Apes. I thought it was about all across. No, she said she looked like one of the people

on the Planet of the Apes, right? But she was black. She says, I didn't know she was black, because she's light-skinned black. But then you look at the photo of her and you're like... Like everybody... Even her husband had to go, I mean... I mean, I said the same thing to you behind your back. Her sister probably said that to her.

I mean, it was a joke, but it wasn't... I don't think it was meant to be racist, racist, but they could've took that, she apologized, they could've took that and put it in the show, and made her do something like that, and made her deal with that. And that's what- You could've had a whole episode about it.

All right, listen, dude. Now, can you bring up the blonde, I'm not gonna do this. I don't wanna get cancer. listen dude, now can you bring up the blonde, I'm not gonna do this. I don't wanna get cancer. Oh you too, I don't wanna get you in trouble. But, you know what I mean? She's a comedian, she was just going, she was trying to get to the funny, she missed the mark,

she said I'm sorry, and then you could have put that in the show somehow, make her deal with that. So people who make those mistakes or say things they don't want, blah, blah, blah, could have, I in the show somehow. Make her deal with that. So people who make those mistakes or say things they don't want, blah, blah, blah, could have, I mean, it would have been fucking hilarious. And we would have been together on that subject instead of dividing people and saying, you're racist, we're not.

And then go make the fucking, whatever, the Connelly, it's a stupid show that stinks. When the pendulum swings, because I think both ends are puritanical and both ends I'll tell you about these words are, are, are, I think of a garden. Are desperate to keep everything the way they want it. Thank you.

You know, they have an idea of the way life should be and you have to get in line with their vision of the world. Right. And so, you know, with religion and the Puritans, it was like, we all live a very modest, we don't curse, we don't drink, we don't do these things. And if you do that, you are an outcast, you are done. The right has it, the left has it. The only place where there's like comfort for me is when it's in the middle and it's like,

I'm happy for the right people to be right. I'm happy for the left people to be left. But nobody's telling me I have to be, you know, and if they are, I can ignore them because there's not a lot of them. When the pendulum moves and we go where there's a lot of pressure going this way, and it's like, no, no, everybody is saying

you have to behave this way, you have to think this way. But when you have guys like Shane Gillis who gets fired from SNL, host SNL, don't you think it's coming back? That that fervor is dying? You know, it used to be that anybody did anything, there'd be such a fuss on Twitter that that's where a lot of the cancellation was happening.

It wasn't happening because a million people rode into fucking NBC. This is an outrage that you have this guy on your show, get rid of him. It was probably a dozen people on Twitter saying stuff. They just had the amplification of Twitter. They all left Twitter, they're not on Twitter. Yeah, you know what it is, man?

It's money. When the money went that way, they went that way. When the money's starting to go, when they start losing money, you know, Bud Light, Shane Gillis is the sponsor, right? They went back to their bread and butter. They got a big Shrek looking motherfucker. Which is Bud Light's fucking demo.

Dudes like, hey, did Buffalo win? You know what I mean? Dude, you go to the game? Fuckin' quia. They went back, and they, cause they went, they went and they gave that poor, poor girl, a bud can.

Right, not even an overall deal, just a bud can. They gave her a hundred grand or whatever it is to get her followers. They wanted, they wanted that followers. They wanted that money. They wanted that money. They saw that there was, it's called influencer money. And the trans thing was a big thing, and they wanted that money.

They wanted. They wanted to capture some portion of that girl's life. They wanted to capture that, they wanted all that, and then people turned on it. And I feel bad for that girl, because she had to go through all that shit. She was just trying to, I got a hundred thousand, and I gotta hold up a stupid can of fucking piss?

It's piss water. I mean, I don't like beer, I hate it. When I drank it, I was like fucking blech. And now it's money, which fine, all right, fine. I was like fucking yeah, you know, but you know and now it's you know money which fine I fine, you know, and I love that they hosted SNL, but I think there was something in the works Anyways, I think at some point because he's too tall I say this talent always wins and that fucking kids town So you think when they got rid of him they were like we can't wait let this die down

We'll get you back in here. Come on. Come on, dude Cuz you know Lauren Michaels say what you, come on dude. Cause you know, Lauren Michaels, say what you want about SNL. He knows funny people. He's picked the motherfuckers for decades. Yeah. Some of the, I mean look at the, Eddie Murphy, Bill Murray, Belushi, you know, fucking Will,

and then Shane. I mean, he's picked the funniest guys around, but all around, you know, just funny dudes. Sandler, you know, all these guys, they're the guys. And Shane's one of those guys. Shane, he knew when he picked, and he was probably like, God damn it, this sucks. And the guy that took him out. But if it goes the way that the people who came after Shane,

if it goes the way they want, Shane lives in obscurity forever. Yep, well, Louie. Right, and well, yes, Louie was at a different place in his career because Louie's obscurity, he can buy his material, he can release it on the internet. Shane couldn't do that. All Shane can do is what he did, put shit on YouTube,

but you run the risk too of YouTube going like, oh no, you got axed from this, we're not hosting you anymore. And there is a universe where they crack down on you so hard, you're done, You have no shot. It's him standing in Washington Square Park talking to a crowd of college kids, and that's all you can get. So in that universe,

Lorne Michael doesn't know. We get rid of him. We contribute to this movement to suppress his voice. He could just disappear. He could be gone forever. Yeah, you can't do that with comics though. Right. You can't do it with standups, because we don't need you. Right.

You can always stand in Washington Square Park. We can always, yeah, we can always play a club. There'll always be a club. You can always rent the place, and your fans will, that's why the fans. Wasn't there a club here that was cracking down and kicking people out? I don't know the clubs here,'t there a club here that was cracking down and kicking people out. I Don't know the clubs here. I know this club here

I also have to talk to you about how I get into this club here because it's so hard What do you mean to get in? Like there's always like you can come and stand online and you're not guaranteed to even get in Oh, dude, I'll introduce you to Liz. That's what I'd like. Yeah. Yeah. This is the king. I'm very excited about this. Liz and Gnome and Esty, yeah. I'll introduce you to, yeah, you can get in, dude. Amazing, I just got into the cellar, that's fantastic. But there was another club here that shut down. Wait, you wanna go to a show?

Here. Yeah. You wanna go to a show? I've never been. Yeah, dude. We came once to go to a show here and they were like, stand in this line, oh, it's full, come around the corner and they took us to another show.

This club is so, this club, every single show is sold out. It's amazing what they've done. It's wild. They have an overflow room. They've actually made other clubs popular. Yeah, other clubs around here sell out because of their overflow. So yeah, it's

it's it's crazy to, you know, yeah, but you could get in if you want to. Just let me know. Don't call me in the line. I'm standing out front. I can't drag somebody out of their seat. But I could definitely try to help. I'm not I'm not fucking Colin Quinn, but I have a little tiny pole. Yeah, amazing. A little bit.

That'd be funny if you call me, and I'm like, dude, I can't get you in. Liz is like, go fuck yourself, which could happen. Right, sure. Yeah, it depends on the mood she's in. If no one's like, what? No, I think that, like Louis, he's the, what happened to him was just terrible.

Yeah. I mean, they took him out of, again, Hollywood just was like, nope, because he was caught up with all this other bullshit. And they took all of his, all of the stuff that he had done that had nothing to do with his transgression, and they just shelved it on. Can't watch it anymore.

But the thing that's great about stand-up is he All he had to do is go to stand-up right and he they showed up was like no we're here Yeah, we're here for you, dude. Yeah here for you, and that's why I think Rogan is so important to Man, I don't want to sound like I'm sucking his dick but he's so important to the industry. On all forms, broadcasting, TV, YouTube, social media, because he'll put people on that other people won't

and expose them to millions of people so that they can hear what the truth is. And he'll challenge things and he'll, he really exposed, like Shane, he's one of the guys. It was like Shane went on his show and he stayed relevant, highly relevant because of, he saw Shane's talent, how funny he is, how great he is, how what a cool,

and he did that show, and kept him kind of, back when, you could go do The Tonight Show back in the day and you're famous the next day. That doesn't happen anymore. But you can go do Rogan, you've done it. Well, I mean, that bump, they call it that Rogan bump. Yeah.

It's incredible. Yeah. That that's almost like doing a TV show now. Like doing, like. I don't know, I think it might be bigger than any TV show you could do. Like what TV show gets an audience that he gets. And I don't think any.

I don't think they do. The Super Bowl and, you know, maybe the Academy Awards, but I don't even know what kind of audience they get. How many people watched it last night? There's no way. Yeah, thank you for not guessing. It's like, 75,000.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. People were very disappointed about the order of actress and director. I, last, we don't know this year yet, but last year was 20 million. 20 million. 20 million, that's a big audience.

It's pretty big. Yeah. I bet it's down this year. But was last year the year of the slap or that was two years ago? That was two years ago, right? Yeah, last year was the first one since the slap. That's what they should do every year,

just slap somebody. Last year was up 8% from the year before. It was because of the slap. Because of the slap, probably. People were like, oh, we got some action. Have you ever worked with somebody that you fucking hated? You ever have an incident on a set with famous people? No.

Never? I mean, I've definitely worked with people that I was like, I can't wait to go home for the day because this person's not pleasant, but not hated. You ever work with a method actor? Yes, that's not fun. It's not? No, I don't like that.

No, because like we're, again, so little of our day is spent doing that. So then the rest of the day, I gotta pretend you're somebody else. I did appreciate Hugh Laurie when he would... But this is different. It wasn't method acting at all. He's British. So when he comes to set, he's just speaking in the voice of the character that he's playing,

which is not British. That's not... But that's not method actor. He's not pretending he's a neuropsychiatrist. That's, that, I, that's not, but that's not Method actor. He's not pretending he's a neuropsychiatrist all day long. Were you on House? No, we did a show called Chance on Hulu. Okay, okay. Yeah. Okay, what was that about?

It's a thriller based on a book. Hugh Laurie plays this neuropsychiatrist who basically his job is to testify in courts whether the person is, whether it's a mental or a physical problem with their brain. Yeah. So if they're competent to stand trial, stuff like that,

and he gets involved in a case that then starts to affect his real day-to-day life, and he needs to kind of get somebody to help him navigate that, and I'm this tough, bad-ass dude who can fuck people up. Right. That's what I wanna play, dude.

It was fun. You liked the show. I wanna play like a sergeant. Yeah. You know, like, Hill Street Blues. Yeah. I wanna get, that's my dream gig. Yeah, just yelling at people. Yeahing people to eat shit all day.

Oh yeah, just fucking get out there and fucking solve those crimes. Right. Or I wanna be a mob guy. Yeah. Like an angry, vicious, mean. Yeah. Yeah, cause I always play silly.

I did a pilot with Martin Lawrence where it was like a buddy cop show where Martin Lawrence was the older guy who was the rookie and coming to me who was like, I'm younger than Martin Lawrence, but I'm the seasoned veteran cop who's his partner, who I got this fucking rookie, but the rookie's like, you know, in his 40s.

And that would have been really fun. Right. Which just was a pilot. Yeah, these pilots, man. I had some good pilots just go, they just say no. That, man, you work so hard on that, and then all of a sudden, you get that call from your agent, they're not picking it up,

and it's over. And it's so crazy, because some of them are incredible. Martin Lawrence, this was a Martin Lawrence show, not long after, I mean, he was very famous. And I was shocked that they didn't pick this show up. Because you get this family. You're like, we might be working together for seven years on something, like Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll.

We were together for a whole season. We did the pre, you're like this family, and then you get together for the second, it's like you're back. And then all of a sudden you're spending holidays together and you're doing dinners, and then after the Thursday, you don't get picked up, and you don't see those people again.

Yeah, it's done. You don't see them. You'll talk for a minute, you'll send the group text every, but that dies, and then they're onto something else, and then it's over. It's like a weird, I don't know, it's weird. Like that surrogate family is gone, and you move on to another.

You get a new family. You get a new family for a certain time, and then that's over. It's a weird business to like, you make these connections, and then they get cut off. Yeah, it's like being a carnival worker, and you're always going to a new carnival. Yeah, does that ever bother you?

Like do you have a? It is weird. Like who's your friends in the business? Do you have good friends? I have friends who are in the business, who I've never worked with or I worked with after I've been friends with them for 20 years. And we're friends, but we're friends

not because of working conditions. You have any like square friends, regular friends? Yeah, lots, yeah. I have- Construction guys. Me too, dude. I have like, I think it's important. I have guys, I took Danny to my cigar lounge.

I'm a member of it, it's just all dudes. They don't give a fuck. Plumbers, restaurant owners. Their wives don't let them smoke cigars in the house so they gotta have a spot. I brought Danny the other night and it's just like a movie room. I went in there and there's just a few dudes in there

smoking, it's just dudes. Nothing about the business. They don't give a fuck about anything. And then just Danny on his phone scrolling, trying to find fucking clips of his, trying to find chicks who like his clip. Smoking a cigar. He smoked a $15 cigar, just two puffs and put it out. Is that downtown or uptown?

It's Westchester. You smoke cigars? No. No? I suck on these little nicotine lozenges. I love those. They're great. Is that downtown or uptown? It's Westchester. Yeah. You smoke cigars? No. No? I suck on these little nicotine lozenges. I love those. They're great.

All right, so what do you got coming out? What's happened? What's the next thing we can look at you? I did a little movie with you and Stav you, baby. I got Blood for Dust, which I swear it was called Blood for Rust at one point. I swear to God. That was at the Tribeca Film Festival. That looks like it's gonna be a good one,

and you look fucking bad. I look tough. I haven't seen the preview. You were a tough guy in it. Yes. You were grabbing people. Yeah. You were grabbing people.

Yeah, shooting guns and stuff. Yeah, yeah, you were a motherfucker in that. Yeah. And that looks real good. I can't wait to see that. I was excited when that came out. Yeah. And...

And I got a couple other little movies, I was excited when that came out. Yeah. And, And I got a couple other little movies, but I'm completely spacing on what they are. I just did a movie with Sean William Scott. I think it was our fifth movie we did together. Yeah. You know him? No, I don't know him, but I know him.

But you know who he is. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. We just did a movie. I play a bad guy in that too. You ever play in Ebby Seale? No. Like one of those guys?

Never have, no, but in this TV show Chance I did with Hugh Laurie, I play a guy who is like an ex-Navy SEAL. Yeah. Yeah. He just knows how to kill people real good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you look like that dude now. That was fun.

You'd like that show. You look like the tip of the spear. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah, but back in the day, you could tip over the spear. 2015, 16, I'm a lot bigger in that. Bigger now? No, no, I was heavier in that.

You dropped muscle? I dropped, I started dieting again on that show. Here we go, dude, look at all this shit. Wow, I gotta get an agent. Who's your agent? Will you tell your agent to rep me? I will. I'll get you into the cellar.

Yeah, that's a good trade. If you get me. By the way, getting into the cellar is difficult. Yeah, getting an agent is hard too. Yeah. Because it's weird because I had an agent thin, then fat, and now I'd have to get an agent. And so you reinvent yourself.

You have to be, I have to be this guy. Yeah. But I'm hoping that, I really believe in my heart right now that this is the last fat Yeah, this is my I don't want to ever go back to that guy. Well, I think like I Think it really is like what you're doing where you know, they say lifestyle change and it's like such a fucking vague thing to say, but like if you're dieting to lose weight, that's not a permanent thing.

You're not dieting forever, but if you're figuring out a way to live forever that's producing weight loss, or you get to a weight where you're not gaining weight, and you gotta do it forever. It's a forever state. It's not like I'm gonna diet for three months and then I'm done.

Then you gain the weight back. It has to become your life. Yeah. You have to look at everything of what is that. Yeah. And you know, like food is not my friend. No. Food was my friend.

Yeah. Food was my friend for a long time. Anytime I was sad or happy, anytime I was celebrating or mourning, anytime I was alone and I felt sad, I would get food. And guys like you and me are gonna deal with this every day for the rest of our lives.

Even if it gets easier and we deal with it less, on some level, we're going to have to deal with it forever. There's a fucking sandwich shop two blocks over on Sullivan. I don't even, I can't pronounce the name, it's like a bunch of Italian words, but you see it's constantly showing up on Instagram and they do focaccia and mortadella and they fucking slather truffle oil on it and shit, and so walking over here,

I walk by the sandwich shop and I'm gonna think about it more than a normal person thinks about a fucking sandwich. You know what I mean? And I just have to deal with that. I'm thinking about it right now. Yeah, did you mount, did you start to salivate? I'm literally like, cause in my brain I'm like, I gotta go check that out.

Right. And I should Instagram about it. Yeah. And I should let people know this is the best sandwich. Best fucking sandwich. Fuck it. Yeah. But as soon as you said this is a sandwich,

I'm like, there's a new sandwich? Yeah, Sullivan. Yeah, you have to do the- It's amazing. The one that kills me is dumplings. Oh God. Oh, if I see, I saw they have a new dumpling you can order off of Facebook. Yeah.

I've been fighting that dumpling order for months. Yeah. And it always shows up. I think it knows that I'm a fact. What is it called? That place? That place, yeah. Look at these fucking sandwiches. Dude, let's do a little food porn right now. Before we wrap up, can is it called? That place? That place, yeah. Oh, look at these fucking sandwiches.

Dude, let's do a little food porn right now before we wrap up, can we do a little food porn? It's just fucking covered in olive oil and truffle oil. Let me see, let me see. Let's look at these, oh God. Look at that, it's insane. Oh God. That thin sliced Italian meat.

Oh, look at that. Please, you show me mortadella, we're going. Oh, there's mortadella. Yeah, oh yeah. Oh, there's mortadeella up on the left. Marta Della. And they crush pistachios and sprinkle them on top and there's a pistachio cream on that fucking sandwich too.

This is like the movie Fatso. When the Chubby Checkers came over. You ever get a jelly donut and suck the jelly out and then fill it with chocolate. Honey, Junior get the honey. What? Can we play that scene? Play the Fatso scene, get the honey scene from Fatso.

Do you ever see Fatso? I think so, yeah. I wanna remake Fatso. You should. I'll be in it. You'll be the older brother. You can be the older brother. The get the honey Junior scene from Fatso.

We can play that, we'll play that one. Dude, if you're a fat fuck, You could be the older brother. The get the honey junior scene from Fatso. We can play that, we'll play that one. Dude, if you're a fat fuck, if you're fat, and you have weight, you gotta watch Fatso. I gotta watch. Dom DeLuis, the beginning of the movie, his cousin died. He probably weighed like 600. The casket's huge.

Everybody's crying. He was a trombone player too, it's funny. Dom DeLuis was awesome. The grandmother gets huge. Everybody's crying. He was a trombone player too. It's funny. Dom Del Alouise was awesome. The grandmother's crying. She's just all the time. And it was based on his real life. Shot the director was, what's her name? She's in the movie.

Who was the cast of Fatso? If you bring it up on another screen. So it was all about his real life. The beginning scene, the grandmother is crying and he goes, his older brother goes, go get her a cup of water. So he goes in the kitchen just to get a cup of water for the crying grandmother who's grieving, right?

And there's a sauce on this. And Bancroft. And Bancroft is Dom DeLuise's, I think cousin or fucking, they're relatives. Right. This is about their childhood. So, pause it, make it big and I'll tell you when to play it. So, the beginning scene, he's in there, he's crying.

She's, oh, oh, and there's a picture of him with the trombone, the fat guy with the trombone, and he takes the bread, he's stirring the sauce, he's adding cheese and he's crying, and he's mourning so much, and and he takes the bread, he's stirring the sauce, he's adding cheese and he's crying and he's mourning so much. And then he takes the bread and he rips this fresh Italian bread and he dips it in the sauce and then he pours cheese on top of the bread and then he takes a bite.

And life is better. And it all goes away, dude. And then the guy, where's the water? And he's like, ugh. You know? You've been in Wegmans? Wegmans, no. Right here?

No. It'll fuck you up, dude. It'll fuck you up. We'll come back in a year. They got a dumpling shop. They got fucking Cubano sandwiches. It'll fuck you up. I can't.

So this is the scene where he, he's part of Chubby Checkers, these other fat guys, it's a meeting, like AA, and there's an emergency, he's gonna fuckin' eat. So his little brother calls Chubby Checkers to come, and these guys come running up. Tell me this doesn't fuckin', this isn't every fat, go ahead, play it. Make, oh, you put your headphones on.

Put your headphones on put your head go ahead why they're running because you that's what you supposed to do to get it rid of the fat craving yeah to get rid of the fat cravings My brother Sonny Lofalato. Frank D'Happen. How you doing? I'm Oscar. Oscar Peters. Frank D'Happen. Nice to meet you. I'm Frank. Appreciate you coming. Can I get you something? A nice cup of hot water?

Yeah, that'd be nice. Yes, thank you. OK. Everybody stop trying. Now, why don't we all sit down and talk this over? They can't make it through the door. They're so fat. They can't make it through the door. They're so fat.

By the way, Dom Del Uise is the thinnest one in the scene. Hollywood fat. Right. Now, how can we help you, Dom? Look at him. Let's talk about it. I can't help myself. I'm a flop. See?

I was in my bed. I was lying down, and I was thinking about this girl. I was gonna ask her out for a date this afternoon, and I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it, so I ran away. I ran away to Nino's, and I had a large pizza. Was it pepperoni? With everything. I feel sorry for me.

If I didn't like her so much, I could ask her out. She has everything a guy could want. She is blonde. She's Catholic. She's half Italian. Junior, can I have some more hot water, please Fucking hot water. I had a cousin Who was the same way?

Sal Is this the fat guy who died died? He just died he just died He died? Yeah. The only thing that he could get involved with, I mean really involved with, was a meal. Any food, any food of any kind. Corn on the cob, right right didn't he love his corn

June yeah his mother used to make extra so he could have cold corn the next day mmm I love cold corn I do too I don't like cold food even fruit are like room temperature. You don't like a nice cold apple? Yeah, I do. I do like a cold apple, but apple pie are like hot. With cold vanilla ice cream. Did you ever have that with chocolate chip ice cream? Sal introduced me to that. Apple pie with chocolate chip ice cream. I like luxury kookle. Pardon? Noodle pie with chocolate chip ice cream. Pound cake with chocolate chip ice cream is good. Ring dings. Chocolate chip ice cream. Wait chocolate swirl ice cream even better. That's nothing Did you ever suck the jelly out of a jelly donut and then fill it with chocolate swirl ice cream?

Like to stuff a jelly donut with Reese's peanut butter Then put it in a warm oven and let the chocolate and everything melt into the dough Put it in a warm oven and let the chocolate and everything melt into the dough Peanut butter and jelly on a chocolate covered Graham cracker with them. I use a banana on top Could have a little lemon in my water, please I make chocolate chip cookies with the cabinets are all locked up Can I have a little more lemon in my hot water, please? Mr. La Palada lemon locked up your chin. Junior, could I have just a drop of honey in this, please?

Just a drop. A wedge of the actual fruit is covered with that thick dark chocolate. You know? Oh boy, how'd you write this stuff for me that I'm in a down that Get the honey junior give him the honey junior it's in the cupboard Dom. Well get it What else did they cover with that chocolate I mean besides the orange the wheels just came off the bus, you know What's this, the honey. Those big juicy stemmed strawberries dipped into that dark, dark.

How many times you've been in this circle? Oh, yeah. Get the honey. Get the honey. What do we know? He swallows the key. Oh God. And it's done. It's done. They're just how many times have you been in that scenario? That's just my head that's my yeah, all that's my fucking dude, that's what you're fighting Every fucking day you brought up that sandwich shop

Goddamn you. Yeah, it's right there, Bobby. Two blocks. No, no, no, no. What are you fucking? Two blocks away. No, no, no. They got the prosciutto. I love prosciutto, botanela, the olives.

That's what you fat. When you fight that shit, that's what it is. It's one little thing. Do you ever have the pizza over it? No, it has the pepperoni that curls up and the oil stays in there like a bowl of oil. And then they put the hot honey. Here's the people.

A fat person does not put paper towels on their pizza. No. They do not dab their pizza. My children will try to get rid of that grease. No. I want to take their grease. I want them to pour their grease onto my pizza. Yeah, or pour the grease on the box.

That's for the crust. Yeah, you dip it. At the end, you smear the, and then whatever cheese is left over, you take that and you push it. They take a stack of napkins and they spread it out and they soak it up and they throw the napkins away and it breaks my heart.

I don't really eat pizza anymore, but when I see them do that. But my wife's the same way. She has a glass of wine at dinner. She'll leave a couple gulps in the glass and the whole time I'm freaking out because first of all, you open a bottle of wine, you finish a bottle of wine.

I don't know what the fuck she's doing with that, but then she can stand up and leave with wine in the thing and I'm like, you're not gonna drink that? No. what the fuck she's doing with that, but then she can stand up and leave with wine in the thing, and I'm like, you're not gonna drink that? No. Yep, my wife will make chicken cacciatore with grilled white meat chicken, not the bone-in with the fat and the bread,

and then she'll cut the fat off a steak. She'll cut a fat off a steak, and I eat, oh, that backside of a steak, oh. That's to make each bite better. Better, it makes every bite better. You cut and you keep that bite. And she cuts it off and she throws it out. She doesn't even give it to the dog.

My fucking dog is healthy. It makes me sick. Pork chop, lamb chops, she just eats. I take a, and like a like a pit bull I'll eat I've eaten bone. I I want if I eat something with a bone in it I want to see a very clean bone clean bone. Yeah clean bone. Let me tell you something, dude. I Fucking love food. Yeah so much so much, but I'm done. I'm done. There's nothing stronger than me now

when I push the food away. When I push it away, I get my little portion and then I push it away. And the hardest part, you gonna wrap that? No. You're not gonna take it? No. And they look at me like knowing deep down, you sure?

You sure you're not gonna take that? You know you want this. I've had two, nope, I'm out, I'm done. Well dude, listen man. I love you, thank you. I love you too man, and I'm so, you're inspirational bro, what you did, but what you continue to do, talking about it and being out there and maintaining it. When I saw you,

I saw you start coming around a couple years ago, a year or so ago, I was just like, wow. I was doing the same thing at the same time, but I was right at the beginning of it. And now it's good that... I will say I do think it's good to talk about. You know what I mean? And especially with people who have the same shit

that we have, because I can talk to my wife about it. She doesn't get it. She has no idea what I'm going through. But if I talk to somebody else who understands or who has experienced what I've experienced, and that's not to say like my wife's life has been a piece of cake. It hasn't.

She's got her own shit, but it's just different than the shit that I have. And talking about it is very helpful. Talking about it is very helpful. Have you ever wished fat on somebody? You know, listen, I- I did it last week. Yeah.

Yeah, I prayed to the fat gods. Yeah, make that person fat. I hope you get fat. Yeah. I hope- I come, growing up in Hollywood mostly and spending all my formative years there. You see the girls who are eating a cheeseburger at lunch

and still real thin and fit, nothing changes. And I'm sitting there with my chicken breast and my celery sticks and like fighting through every minute of life, wondering like, why can't I be normal like that person? And then you see the girls that are also eating an almond for lunch and thinking like, well, she's, her life sucks more than mine.

But like I have experienced like people where you just are confused how some people don't have the fucking bullshit demons that I have. I have secretly wished fat on some of them. Yeah, secretly fat, just to see them. That's the thing is like when you haven't seen somebody in a while and they come back in, you're like, ah, ha ha ha. I will say too though, to those normal people

who gain weight, I've had friends of mine who gain weight and nothing in their life changes. They're not walking around feeling like fat pieces of shit. They're still taking their shirt off at the beach and I'm looking and going like, wow, is he self-conscious? Not at all. So like, I don't know.

This bug that we have is not quite the same. It's not, it's a thing, but if you're one of them, you know what I mean? If you're a fatty, I say that at my shows. I'm like, what fat are you on? And they'll be like, third, like fat dudes, no. Third, I had six. I had six fats.

And I'm hoping this is the last fat, hopefully. But there you go, man. We're doing it now. We got, what do you got? Anything to promote or anything? Nothing? I'm writing a book. I've got a TV series on being fat.

Really? That's great. That's awesome, dude. What's it gonna be called? You got a name for it yet? Probably it'll be called American Glutton. American Glutton? That's great, dude.

When that comes out. Yeah, I'll come back to promote it. Please come back on, dude. We'll talk about it. I'll get a bunch of other fat people on. Yeah, dude. We'll have a fat council of the fats. We'll end like Fatso. Yeah.

We'll just fuck. By the way, you should remake that. I want to. You should do that. I really do. Yeah. I want to remake, it's my dream to remake that. There will be an aspect of people today

who will want to cancel you because it's fat phobic. Yeah. But it's also very real. Any fat person, any real fat person that's being totally honest that I've spoken to has wanted to lose weight at times. And if they're now giving up because it's genetic or whatever, they've been sold the bill of goods of like, it doesn't matter. That's fine too. But I don't know a single fat person that hasn't at some point wanted to lose weight and struggled with it. Yeah, and it's, I think fat is probably the last person

you can make fun of and fuck with and nobody cares. Some people care, Lizzo cares. Yeah, but people make fat, you're fat, look at that fat. The people say fat, nobody gives a shit about it. And it's like, all right, you can't say this, you can't talk about them, but you should talk about me being a tub of shit and nobody gives a shit about it. And it's like, all right, you can't say this, you can't talk about them, but you should talk about me being a tub of shit and nobody gives a shit. There's not a bunch of fat people with protesting

because we're fat. The fat protest will be a block. It's gonna come, dude. It would have to be in the... If something doesn't change, it's gonna come. There's gonna be protests about airplane seats. There's gonna be protests about escalators. More escalators, less stairs.

It's gonna happen. I hope not. I want stairs. I want- I hope we get our shit together too, but at the rate we're going, more of America's overweight than healthy weight today. I told you, I saw that photo of,

there was a photo, the video of people walking in there, nobody was fat, and then they showed a photo of Disneyland, or Universal, every single person in there was fat and unhealthy. It's some version of fat. Yeah, and these new drugs. Ozempic. Yeah, they project that Ozempic's gonna have

an 11,000% increase year over year. That's an insane, insane number for anything. It's gonna be the biggest selling drug of all time. If everybody in America's on that forever, then maybe obesity's handled. I don't know, I don't think you should, I think you should find out that clip we just watched, it was not about,

it's inside. It has nothing to do. No, it won't cure that. It's something inside that you gotta fix. I had to fix things inside to be able to, I needed the time to, that rehab, year and a half, two years, and I'm still fixing that shit to understand where food, what food, food was my drug, food was my heroin, food was my coke, food was my cigarettes,

food was my sex. I had to learn how to be happy in my life, be grateful in my life, and kind of take things one day at a time in my life to be able to deal with this to know that okay food I Have to eat it, but it's not my friend. Yeah, it's not it's not helping me at all I don't I you know, it's I have to eat to live not live to eat type thing and when you start taking drugs I to eat type of thing. And when you start taking drugs, I just, you know, I'm not a fan of taking a drug.

If you have to, I guess, if you're diabetic, I guess, but they're gonna give people a pill to, an injection. Well, no, I agree with you. My, I personally think the way people jump on and off of these drugs is gonna be the same way that they do these unsustainable crash diets. What happens is you burn through lean tissue and fat. So you get down into a weight,

but then when you gain weight back, you're only gaining fat back. You're not gaining back. So what will happen is over time, you will see the average weight will stay about the same or increase slightly, but the body fat percentage will skyrocket. And it's bad. You got to work out.

You got to lift weights. You got to lift weights. You have to. I don't care if they're little weights. I believe that. I really believe you have to lift weights. Yeah, I agree. Because the older you get, your muscle goes.

You can look thin as shit, but your body's gonna fall apart Yeah, you got it. You got to have muscle You got it you got a you got a fucking you got a clang and bang a little bit at least three times a week Yeah, clang and bang to tell your body. Hey, I need these muscles I don't give it's ten pound dumbbells five just do it have that muscle because if you just yeah that stuff You're just gonna take a pill or an injection and lose weight. And not change your life at all. And not change your life and not be physical.

It's the, everybody's a fountain of youth working out. But that's what we live in. We do shit to excess in America, and so we have cheap food, we do cheap food to excess. We have fucking internet, we do internet to access. We have a drug that makes you not wanna eat. And I think you make a good point that there will be trade-offs. If we're not getting that stimulus from food,

maybe you see a bunch of people start having alcohol problems or sex problems. Or social media problems. You're addicted to social media. I have to wake up in the morning and turn my phone over because I wanna just go and fucking hate people and laugh or whatever the fuck. If I don't go to a movie theater,

watching a movie at my house is mostly on my phone. Yep. Fucking scrolling. Crazy. What watch is that? AP. It's a nice one, dude. What's that? It's a Sky-Dweller. Yeah, it's a nice watch. That's is that? AP. It's a nice one, dude. What's that?

It's a Sky-Dweller. Yeah, it's a nice watch. Not that far. That's the shit right there. God damn. Good watch. Yeah, you like watches? Yeah.

Nice. How many you got? One, two? You got more? Yeah, I got some watches. What do you got? A couple Rolexes. Yeah, what do you Rolex?

Panerai. You got a Panerai? Yeah. Nice. Couple APs. I wanna get a Pepsi. I don't know a Pepsi. You don what do you Rolex? Yeah, right. You're a paint really nice couple AP's I want to get a Pepsi. I don't know Pepsi. You don't know the Rolex Pepsi. Oh, yes. I do That's my next watch. Yeah, I want it so bad, but that's a that's like a vintage now They making it again. They're making it but they might stop and that's why it's hard to get The whole fucking watch market. I haven't bought a watch in a while because it got crazy during the pandemic.

Yeah, I know. I just love watches, dude. I really love, I just, I think every man should have a, I don't care if it's a Timex. Yeah. You should have a watch on. If you look at your phone for time, you're a nerd. Yeah, I like watches.

Sorry, Danny. Sorry, Max. That's okay. Sorry, Joe. I bet the end that- I'm gonna buy you guys all watches. They're so young, they don't know how to tell analog time. No, they have it in their brain,

because they're analog. Right. All right, bro, go to my website, RobertKellyLive.com. There I am, RobertKellyLive.com. All my dates are up there. I got these guys coming with me. I don't know when this is coming out, but I mean, they're gonna,

I'm gonna probably have one of these guys with me at all times. Great weekend, I mean, Danny and Joe with me this weekend just murdered all weekend so Everybody's fucking loves you guys which kind of makes me sick Go to comicwareables.com to get all your you get the regs Ykwd if you show up with a Ykwd hoodie on I'll give you a kiss right on the mouth I don't care if you're a man a fucking smoocher if you have the white one on I'll make love to you

Use code word ladybugs to get 20% off of that Danny we are we guys gonna be go ahead just max Marcus comedy and then I'll be opening for you and Poughkeepsie nice Danny's going to the bathroom, but you can follow him at Danny Braff on Instagram. And then for all things cheese show and Joe Russell, go to the cheese show on YouTube. Danny! He's, he's downstairs, downstairs. He had to take a shit. Danny had to shit.

Good for Danny. What a good guy. And make sure you check out my pal Ethan here, Ethan Suppley. He's got a show's coming out, a movie's coming out, a book coming out. He's an inspiration dude, and I'm so glad you're fucking kicking ass, and I'm so glad we became friends, man.

Me too, Bobby, thank you. Thanks for coming on my show, bro. My pleasure. We'll see you guys next week on You Know What, Dude? Podcast.