Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Fat Alladin

Episode Date: October 1, 2018

Nick Mullen and Paul Virzi are in studio Bobby for Gabby’s last episode before her California adventure! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. Welcome to the funniest podcast of the planet Earth. This is gonna be a clash to fuck. It's podcast, it's no rules. I'm talking to the mic asshole. I'm sure I've already said should I regret it. Can I get a mic? No, that's so fuck.

That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch? Oh, that's a fuck! That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down, yapping. Sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's 10 no topics, no directions. I love doing it. Play both sides of the coin! That's how in a holster does your mother part?

I don't want to do anything. My podcast is popular enough where I might affect somebody's life. You never know. It's Robert Kelly, so you know what to podcast on lightcast.com. Ha, ha, ha. Woo. What's up, hackers? That's right.

Beth, the aside football season is underway, fellasesci. Football season is under way, fellas. And let me know how you doing, verse. How you winning the pool? Don't go down. You're not, you know. 500. 500. 17, 18 and one to be exact.

Oh. How would you like to double your money right now? Guaranteed. I would love it. Wouldn't it be great? Well, guess what? My friends at Bethesci, those motherfuckers, they're making that possible. This football season when you're registered with promo code YKW100, they will help you get started with some extra

bang for your buck, Versi. Bettheasai is offering double your money on your first deposit. That's right people dudes out there listening and dudeettes deposit to start winning get up to 2500 doggies Bucka ruse fucking slam dogs free 25 in a box free. That's double your money. It was in capital letters With exclamation point at the end. I'm a professional voiceover person. I do auditions all the time. Right now, that's it. promo code YKWD100.

When it comes to football, Bettheocy has odds on everything you could ever want and or imagine, whether it's NFL NCAA football MLB, NBA, UFC, T.V.A.Y. exports, all the global sports, even politics, celebrities, reality shows, if it's happening, Bet the SI will put a line on it. Did you know that, Verzy?

I didn't. Yeah. We could do right now. You know, did you win the lottery or something? What the fuck is going on with you right now? We have a green an ad. Yeah, but you're like, over. You're coming in hot.

Well, I'll tell you where we can talk about that. Something happened, yes, something happened. Okay, you sure? I can't be happy. Yo, but this is like, I've done this show a lot. I haven't seen you like this. Bob, happy? No, not like this.

You caught me on the way in. Bet the SI has been online for 20 years, versus you know that? Well, now don't say depressed now. Has built an impeccable reputation for great service and fast payment combined with an excellent mobile interface. The functionality, I like to throw that in when they talk about mobile stuff, is unbelievable.

So you can play, win, and get paid anytime anywhere. You know you're ready to win. All right, so do this. Go to bettheaside.com. Today, use promo code YKWD100100 and you're already won by doubling your bankroll boom straight away bank. That's promo code YKWD100 for PAP and get into the action get paid. Don't stand on the sidelines this season. Use your knowledge of that pig skin and win and enjoy games that much more when you bet at bet DSI there come boom

Fucking what what's going on? What do you mean? Yeah, right? What's going on something Gabby's leaving Backies we place it up. Wow. Wow. Wow. Is this happening this is my last one so last one for a while for a little bit Oh Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, Right, we got Nick Mullin. You know, we don't have a water for the host of the show Michael The guy who buys the water It's not open, no kidding You're reminded me the old days I was open to be nervous. You're reminding me the old days. Scopeo. I don't know if it was supposed to get water.

Thanks, Ben. And the fucking coach here. That's what I'm going to miss. Anyways, we got Paul Versey, who fucking the best. You're the best, buddy. You're the best. Fucking great. Big announcement for Paul tonight. Excited to announce it on this show.

The first podcast he's been on a radio show. He's announcing it on before he goes on his press tour, whatever when it comes out. Yes. We're going to announce it. Yes. Right after this, we have Nikki. Mullen is here. I got nothing new announced.

You got nothing to announce. Nothing coming up. That's fine. I missed you. I missed you too. I. I saw I saw a picture of you and then you girlfriend DM me this weekend. Did you know about that? No, I didn't. Well, no, no, I'm happy to see you. No, don't finish the story. I was in a pretty good mood. We were talking and I was around three a morning. We were both up.

Hey, you know, can we just keep weird hours? Well, I should have it at three. It was weird because she was right next to you. She was telling me, she was taking photos and sending them to me on the DM. You like this? Oh, and then we were drawing on it. Just being paged, I'm not asleep.

It's just a face I make. Who are you texting? Shut up. Take it. This isn't even my thing. That's what happens when you scope a time here to get the water. He's in a fucking crazy mood.

Hopefully he's not dying. What the fuck? Are you okay? Good night everybody. I just hear some stumps down the stairs. It's fucking fell Bobby just left the room for people who wasn't listening to the audio version. Are you okay? How many of this falling open on speaker I'm sorry, so you okay? Yes. You're live on my podcast, yams.

This is not something I can go live with. Oh, shit. You all right? No. Okay. Hang on one second. Oh, shit. I'm up on her. Um, Let me just find out what you're secretly fucking on me. You'll tell me my face if it's.

Yeah, they're big. You can't even put a yin yang symbol. Just a just a just a black and white cookie. Well, it's a circle. It's a mixed racer. Oh my god. Oh, Jesus. What the. Oh Jesus What oh my god

Oh Yeah, don't even Bob don't even worry about it. Just I'll take care of it. Oh my god. Okay. Don't worry about it. Okay I got you all right All right, you need you I'm sorry, you okay? Oh, Bubba, I wish I wasn't on the podcast. I, you know, okay, I'll talk, let me call you later, because this is still recording, all right? I'll call you later, bye bye.

That sounds like you care. I wish I wasn't on the podcast. Why can't you stop that bad thing? You know, you care. I wish that wasn't on the podcast. Why? It's not that bad. You know. You know. Are you up for a role? Is that like the performative spit take?

No. But it's straight my emotional range. No, but now you say a role. I'm hungry. Yeah. No. No. God, there's terrible.

What a terrible phone call. She's still bad. No, she's got to be fine. It's just down. It's the thing that's weekend, right? She's gotta cancel tomorrow's show. Yeah, that's all. Anyways, first of all, I'm dying to know now. I'm gonna be taking you back.

You go to Instagram, it's not that big of a deal. Yeah, it's not that big of a deal. No, no, no. Right now, I'm like a fucking dog, I'm not squirrel. Yeah, well, me and your girl were talk, sorry about that. I almost died. Water went down the wrong way. Yeah, there's gonna be a lot of whale jokes and fucking manatee jokes. Did you see that? I don't know if it's even cool to bring up.

Did you see the gym, the Orton documentary? Yes. The funniest part is when they say he just casually mentions it because even fat piece of shit Robert Kelly. It's just so good. I don't know. Is that guy British or he just does like a perfect adenboro? I don't know. But I was well I killed me. I was well. I knew fat piece of shit Robert Kelly.ven it was funny. Yeah, it was funny Because it dig about of the blue. Yeah, it's well They're not even trying to be critical of you. They say it is like in the same tone as if he was just trying to say fellow

Comedian Robert count. No, exactly Yeah, I got my was funny. What do you know you fucking asshole when I'm driving a bus I get it Nick? Mm-hmm. I don't know. I love it He wasn't even used being I get the why it was funny. Okay, all right. Let's get back to me and you grow now. Well, she actually wanted me to do her podcast which I was trying to do. Uh-huh.

But then I was remembering our little ice cream thing and our antiquing. Oh, yeah. And uh, Sanito and then you came to my barbecue. That's right. We had an intimate couple of weeks. We had like an intimate I think a week. Yeah, I think it was a week We were like we became really good friends. We went to REI together. Yeah, we went to REI I met one of your other friends. Yeah, he was a little standoffish at first

I get it because of my attitude who Norman yeah, literally my my my My tone is a little fucked up and I don't think you've a standoff a little bit But then it won't the pool and then we're all then is a little fucked up. Yeah, I don't think it was standoff. A little bit, a little bit, but then it went to the pool. And then we're all, then we're everybody's cool. Yeah. Yeah, we were all, now I got to be became little friends at the show he came and, you like pals for like a weekend. I didn't get, I didn't get the sense of normal

with standoff-ish. I'm not asked, I'm telling. Oh, okay. What I felt. I mean, he's just a father now. He doesn't know when he's supposed to be serious. No, you look, I, when I walk up to somebody in R.E.I. I'm not the guy that's supposed to be,

hey, where the fuck is the Stanley Pots? Yeah, yeah. People like who the fuck is that, you know? You guys are sitting with me. That's a man that's going to die in the woods. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. They're trying to keep you out of the woods.

Hey, if I'm lighten a fire, right? Yeah, exactly. But I know it was a great weekend and then we haven't talked since. Yeah, we haven't. I thought about texting you there the day, but I mean,en the fire, right? Yeah, exactly. But, no, it was a great weekend, and then we haven't talked since. Yeah, we haven't. I thought about texting you the other day, but I mean, I do that with everybody. I think about texting my family and then I'm doing it.

Yeah, so. I was thinking, I was like, wow. But then I was like, you know what, he's just that guy. He's very hard-huesy. Oh, me? Yeah. When like a piss and jars kind of would.

No, just your mustache. Oh, all right. Okay, that's fair. Yeah. Because I'm not like a filmmaker and I don't know how to fly. So the other thing is, yeah, you must mentally disabled.

And again, there's the only way I can relate to Howard Hughes is I have a disorder. But yeah, I did miss you, buddy. Yeah, me too. I'm glad I'm glad you're on the show. And of course, it's you, everybody else and the guests in the couch, Michael.

We have Oscar Gonzalez and we have Clint Byers. Clint, he has Oscar who we love from San Antonio, originally now in New York, a journalist. And then Clint, who's, I mean, I mean, one of of the great let me tell you something I think me and Vos were talking about this when you do shows and it's just like your fans like this weekend Philly like fans came out and DC fans came out and the shows are fucking the best it's the best and he's one of

the fucking greatest supporters of the Patreon always has something positive to say somebody actually came in there and trash pulled that shit that reddit shit and he was like fuck you dude he like defend him I actually want to talk into the guy I went to his Facebook page and I was just I just went what's up dude and he had a kid and the wife and he was a vet and you know and I was like dude what the fuck dude and then he found that I went to Iraq twice for the true and we became friends and he was a vet and, you know, and I was like, dude, what the fuck, dude? And then he found that I went to Iraq twice for the trip, and we became friends and he was actually a great guy. What did he do to you? What do you say? You know, what I don't know, fucking fuck you

and your fat fucking cut face and fucking, you can't. You know, he made this documentary about Jim Gordon. As a part of him says, even fat pizza should run around. So I found out where he lives, and I threatened him and all this buddies from Iraq, He says even fat piece of shit about So I found that where he lives Threatened him and all his buddies from Iraq and you kind of came around on me No, he was actually really sweet guy. He was like dude. I was just trying it. It's just that old anything Did I was just trying to bust balls? Yeah, right? That's good. Yeah, that's good by fucking making me make me want to jump off a fucking building If you've been listening on a self-esteem was pretty low

But anyways, thanks for coming man. It's good. He's gonna hang out with us first cool But here's the weird thing though because I've always seen you photo the guys are fucking 11 I mean you're fine your profile pic you look like a you look like an eight maybe maybe a seven maybe maybe a Ohio a You know, they may any comes in he's fuck look at we can make money off him tonight verse You can sell his body over the meat packing district. Yeah, you sit here. We have better ratings the meat sitting here Why don't you put that on your hands? Did you forget is that can I ask a question without being mean my or not, but go ahead I want to ask it that I won't ask it. I won't ask

Forget it. I won't ask it. I'll keep saying I won't ask it until you say go ahead ask it You're gonna ask it. I mean ask you You're not keeping all the basket without being mean, but go ahead and ask it. No, I to ask it. I mean, you're not, you're not capable of asking without me and me, but go ahead and ask it. No, I'm wondering. I'm wondering your hair. Yeah, terrible. No, we established that every week.

And I'm just wondering, is that front patch, it looks like it was like a transplant. Like you had enough money, you had half the transplant money and you were maybe the job failed and you didn't get the rest. No, this is going away very bad. So that's your hair. That's not transplanted from the back of your neck. No.

Okay. It looks transplanted, doesn't it? A little bit. It has this weird path that it's going. It has a lot of... It looks like he was getting his hair transplanted, and then the money ran out and he got fired. Wow, that landed.

What was the question? I have a question for you. Your hair looks like shit. No, no, no, no, no. Never mind. I asked a question. Is it a transplant? Did he get a patch transplanted?

I was being mean, but I was really asking the question like it look I thought he might have got a tram, you know some guys used to get the transplant Yeah, and it and they didn't like but they went ball like they didn't like he up here was bald And then that went and they didn't have the money to do the rest to the rest So they just have the front the crusty to clown. Yes Yeah, and I thought that's might have like he had the money back in the day and then he went more bald. Yeah, right?

Yeah, no, it was going away. I asked you if I should shave my head one time and you said no, you should keep it for character work and then what? Yeah, he's gotten worse actually since he sent that because here's a deal. If he if he shaves his head, he's just going to be another bald guy, right? If he keeps that, he's that that guy he can play a wrestler manager he can be the fucking dude beyond the tea you gotta think about your movie career man well that was mean I'm being support I was thinking NYU independent film maybe some

Oscar the people he pretends to be on the train to collect money. Those characters. I was in Iraq. I have my roofing. Have you seen that guy? There's a guy in the train that's like, I have my roofing certification, my scaffolding license. I'll be like, wait, does that make you a hero? I don't know. Those guys don't seem to ever finish those jobs anyways. Maybe that's why you're homeless. What, the scaffolding people? Well, I don't know. Yeah, this is a guy that's on the train that he's appealed to people's emotions.

He's a roofer. Yeah, he has a scaffolding license. I love that. He's like, I'm looking for work. Because you know of any work. You should pull out a 20-go, let me see it. Yeah. Let me just pull the hood.

If I use a fucking veterinarian. You know. And you've got to introduce the girls. Well, you introduce Gabby right away, actually. Gabby is Gabby is leaving. And then her replacement Becky, which you also already had said was here. Well, not an introduction, introduction. Ladies, I'll do it.

We have Gabby and Becky, who is here and Gabby you're leaving Today's your last show for a while she says she's still gonna book the show correct gonna help book the show yeah and I Mean you say you're coming back in six months. Where are you going LA? Yeah, she's not coming back. Yeah, it's over. Yeah, it's over Yeah, she's gonna she's gonna book some CW show Yeah, like fucking like Dolly Parton's the biography of the oh, I would fucking love that yeah, yeah Some they're gonna make a yeah, they'll make for the woman Cuz yeah, you know woman for this Thor can't be a guy anymore

For a trans Thor Yeah, trans Thor with. I told you this week short live. Are you going to act? Yeah, and my job's bringing me out. I work for TV. I'm going to be a big fan of the show. I'm going to be a big fan of the show. I'm going to be a big fan of the show. I'm going to be a big fan of the show. I'm going to be a big fan of the show.

I'm going to be a big fan of the show. I'm going to be a big fan of the show. I'm going to be a big fan of the show. I'm going. Yeah, I'm not I told you this short live. Are you going are you going to to act? Yeah, and my job's bringing me out. I work for TV tell people about tell people about Mike Tom about his Look, I got this guy he could be a wrestler. He's almost he's almost bald, but he refuses to do anything about There's nobody like that in the woods You can play the president.

There's nobody else who can do that. It's just those two guys. He could do Venezuela. Mexico. Yeah, he can play anything south of fucking San Diego Mexican Trump for a movie that's going to heal America. What have Donald Trump was Mexican? Yeah. He's probably some dumb Hollywood asshole that earnestly came up with Mexican Trump as an idea. Just like that'll bring everyone together. He's still a rapist in a white supremacist, but he's from Mexico and he got that way through,

I don't know, C. Aster or something. He dreamed it up. And then there's something for everybody there, you know, right guys and the people that love immigrants. And we have Zach, the new guy. Yeah, the new guy who's not so no. He's the oldest person. He's the colon of forever. He got hired before us.

He got hired before us. He really was. He was here before me. He'll be here after me once they take this show away from me Once they were rassled this shit out of my hands I was fucking sitting in my room with a who gets them Lewis Yeah, Lewis fucking just take this home that and just lose Lose and take agent Smith to podcast

Replicating himself. Yeah, he will he'll take this podcast if you can't speak dude replicating himself. Yeah, he'll take this podcast if you can't speak dude. We're good and your mouth just seals up. He'll come in and take it over and put castles on the wall and then for one day take one Instagram photo and then shut it down and close it and say fuck that. It's over. I win. Then step on Max's foot.

I've been really talked to Lewis and see beat that guy up. He's doing great. I can't. I would imagine he's still drunk off that. He was, I mean, he's still drunk off that. He was, I mean, that's fucking balls, he man. I got to give him credit like to have a fight scheduled that long and talk that much shit and go out there and actually fucking win, dude. I give him credit. I did until I saw the other guy without a shirt on. Is that a fighter? Disgusting substitute teacher body. I thought because they hyped him up to be a fighter.

They had him up to be, uh, wait, fucking my wife, I can finish my sex. A fighter. I was going to say, let's not talk about who's coming and fucking hot. No, you're coming to hot. You're coming to know for my shit. I mean, let me just finish a I'm saying, they hyped him up to be a fighter. Yeah. Well, they hyped him up to at least consistently be taking adult karate classes, where as Lewis has just been angry, you know, and wearing like different types of tough guy hats for the last couple years.

And then for my understanding, he would only train for the last like three months leading up to the thing after he already agreed to do it. Well, I was under the impression the other guy was like just always doing karate or whatever and spare time. I always thought the guy was Taikwondo and he did a lot of kicking. Yes, I don't know. He was very tall and on a shirt, if you saw him, they were same height, same kind of build. Yeah. And I was like, oh, this guy, this guy. And then he took a shirt off. I was like, oh, this guy's machine Machine too. I think like Lewis won because he was just smart enough to not take a

shirt off so he went in with the necessary confidence to win. You think I was back? He would have won if he left a shirt on. Backstage he took it off is like what? Fuck. Lewis had a full body spank suit on. Constricting every part of his dough. He was sponsored. He was sponsored. And if the guy ripped that off, there was another one underneath it by another company. Yeah.

Luke from that. Luke Crate was on the shirt. He's like a Russian doll. If you kept ripping shit off him, he had sponsors. Did he make money? Did he have a lot of money for that? He made, he should have made more. Can I tell you why?

Because we watched it out in front and Louis and they should have just did it themselves. Gas digital should have just did that. They did Skankfast, they know what they're doing, they're not a rally people up. They could have got a thing in Queens and they could have sold it off. Fuck out and he would have made all the money. And he, and he, because the other fights were,

it was kind of silly chicks fighting each other and having to take stuff off. It was like, it's Elysemania, would you? Elysemania, which is a big event. Okay. But the gas digital could have done that. That fight was why people were watching. I mean, dude, we had 20 people out front.

I bought that fucking fight. We had 20 people out front watching on my iPad Pro. And we were having a blast. Up until, all the shit up until that fight really was bullshit Yeah, yeah, yeah, nobody was even like come out. They were almost saying I'm out Yeah, and then when Lewis came out it was like everybody was flipping the fuck out. I was legitimately happy for him Me too. Yeah, I'm never happy for Lewis me too. Yeah Well, it's funny because since Lewis met Kim and he's has love in his life

and now he finally has success. Yeah. He comes up my house on Sunday with James E and Max and James play and we barbecue and we have food and he's came, stays for dinner. He's like the sweetest. Yeah. You know, dad Lewis is the best.

Yeah. That's the Benny, you know, it's you don't have to get these fucking, you know, Dad Lewis is the best. Yeah. That's the Benny, you know, you know, it's you don't have to get these fucking, you know, these Ted Talk speeches on how to fucking, what you gotta do is, it's like, dude, I know, I know. I just, you know, I get it. But he's just fucking, he's great on Sunday. He's more relaxed now.

He's in love. Yeah. See his Instagram, he, him, and his dad. Also, we got to beat up somebody. And he got, he got to be literally his fucking dream. Yeah. I remember when I was at UFC 100, I was batting me in North of backstage in Dana, why I remember he had pamphesting.

He was doing it out of his East fucking village shitty living room. And they had that dog that just jumped on you the whole fucking time. Uh-huh. And he was doing it on a, on a one, like like, you know those recorders that comics used to use, the digital recorder, but there was no, it was like a little tiny mic, you know, he would record, hammer-fisting on that. He would like plug it into his computer

and you'd all have to gather around this little digital fucking mic. I'm like, what are you doing? A zoom is a hundred, and I just gave him a zoom. And I remember I was out there and Dana White came up and I'm like, what are you doing? Yeah. A zoom is as a hundred and I just gave him a zoom. And yeah, I remember I was out there and Dana white came up and I was like, Dan, like, can you say Lewis, where the fuck are you? Uh-huh. And he was like, Lewis, where the fuck are you?

And I remember I sent it to Lewis and he was like, what the fuck? Now cut to, he's got a show with fucking Michael Bisming in the champ. Uh-huh. He's, which is his fucking dream. I mean, hammer fisting, but he's got this amazing popular podcast. He fought for realsies. It was legitimately touching.

I was genuinely proud of him. I was still like three o'clock in the morning. Yeah, it was fucking it was. I was like, this fucking piece of shit. This hunk of garbage, didn't. And I mean, that's as far as he's ever gonna go. I mean, it's over. He hit the ceiling.

I mean, he's done. That's a ever gonna go. I mean, it's over. He hit the ceiling. I mean, he's done. That's a skankfest and fighting. Now he's done. Because all the shit, times you use the word N on his podcast, he's finished, you know, he's not gonna make an any further than this, but yeah, that's good. I don't know, I think he could have. I'm kidding, you could have it.

What are you fucking, at CNN, movie career? Yeah, despite the amount of ANS, he's dropped. Do you think he, that's my hope for myself as well. So you know, you think he could have a movie career? No, I'm kidding. Oh, yeah. Sorry, you got me on my, your own tactics. I, I, uh, yeah, it's weird.

You, I apologize, but I'm just gonna say right now. I, I, I, I'm sorry, because I've done so much fucked up shit in the name of funny. Yeah. On podcasts and radio. Uh-huh. I've just so much fucked up shit and the name of funny on podcasts and radio. I've just said and done, I apologize. I fucked up, but it was all for funny. You know, there you go.

We all, that's scary though. We've all said shit. No, but it's scary when you leave and you're just like, oh shit, if somebody listens back to that, you have to go into podcasts, especially today today being like somebody could just take a clip out Or you could just not give a shit and then if there's consequences you're like well, who cares, you know Because if I had a regular job, I probably would be fired immediately for saying something You know, yeah, so like why worry about it? And if I I don't like I don't want to do comedy if I have to like

Take it seriously. And if I, I don't want to do comedy, if I have to like, like take it seriously. I think, I think now you have to do it. Like if I, if there was a requirement that I like take a shower every day or brush my teeth for comedy, I probably wouldn't be a comedian. I know. I wish you brush your teeth. Well, I don't know. I'm waiting till I get health insurance to see what the dentist says. It might be a lost cause. I, uh, I think you're out. That's a great excuse to not bring your teeth.

Yeah, they're going anyway. I never understood that. That's a false did. He just let them die. Yeah. And then he spent 50 grand on new ones. Well, you know, I mean, I look at Stop. He doesn't take care of his teeth.

He lost the tooth. And now he's happier than ever. So I'm kind of starting to think that teeth are kind of a myth. I don't know, you really need it. No, you do. If you like crackers or potato chips, you need teeth. Yeah, you just thought you.

It's not so fucking retarded. You came in my apartment, there was a box of graham crackers and he goes, he's like, damn, they got twisted graham crackers now. I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? He's like, oh, the font looked like the twisted teeth font. And I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? He's like, Oh, the font looked like the twisted T font. I was like, what? What? I mean, what do you mean the font? You know how to read? You know what the words say? They say Graham crackers. And he just saw the font registered as twisted crackers. And he thought I had crackers with alcohol. And then that that thought lasted long enough in his brain to exit his mouth.

It's not even fully functioning anymore. Because, damn, they got twisted crackers now. Yeah, they changed the font. I saw that. My kids got them. No, my kids got them. So my kids got graham crackers. So I know exactly what it means.

They changed their whole kind of box. It's actually nicer. I like it. Yeah, but your first thought wasn't, I can't give these to my kids. They have alcohol in them. Yeah, no, not at all. Not at but your first thought wasn't, I can't give these to my kids, they have alcohol in them. Yeah, no, not at all, not at all. Because he's not a moron.

Yeah. Yeah. Shit. I want to announce really quick that Virzy Special, his hour special is coming out on, produced by Bill Burr. And Al Magical. Al Magical and all things comedy. All things comedy. And Pete Davis. They're doing three. Right Pete? No, no. Pete just wanted to eat. He wanted to be on it before Paul things comedy got involved. So Pete still is on it.

The first one would Pete fell through. Yeah. That whole story that you know. And yeah. So all things comedy. Yes. All things comedy. And's coming out Comedy Central Bought it. It's gonna be coming out Comedy Central when. And I directed it. Go ahead, who went? No, November 2nd Comedy Central. Really? Yes.

That's crazy. Yeah, I'm excited. That's great. You were there. I was there. And I meant a lot that you were there. It was awesome. It was really fucking scary.

It's eight minutes down the street from my house. I mean, if it was unpleasant, I might have not come. Yeah, it's in Kerry Town. I might have not come. Yeah, it's in fairy town. I could have walked to it. No, I'm getting. Yeah, it was great. It was this beautiful special. Well, thank you.

You killed it. You murdered. Thank you. And I mean, it's going to be refreshing to see a special on Comedy Central that I can relate to again. Yeah, now it's just, you know, the whole, now it's always worrying. The whole process is just worrying because it's like, you get it, are

they going to buy it? And now it's like they got to take it from 62 minutes to 40 something minutes. So now you got to make sure that they don't, you know, compromise what I wanted to get out there. But I'm going to clip this and be like, he gives his kid alcohol a crack. We need to talk about the special. Yeah. Yeah. It is true. I'm mild abuse. They do. I don't think you have to take, there's two schools of thought with saying shit on podcasts or even in your comedy. You have to make sure that you think it's funny.

If you think it's funny, then it doesn't matter. You were trying to be funny. You have to take the hit for that. But if you're just, I've done stuff, I was talking to Voss about this. I used to leave like, oh, and A back in the day. And I was a new comic, I'm on the fucking hottest show in the world.

And they're doing crazy stuff. And I'd walk in and I'd be like, you know, like, oh my God, I would kind of just get involved in it. And I never had, and I would leave, and be like, why did I do that? Why the fuck? I was, I just, I'm, I'm spineless. I didn't have, I'm just one of the guys. Like my old Bob Kelly, Juvenile,

just fit in fucking thing. I want to be liked myself a steam. And I walked in the first day, oh, and I think there was a whistle ball bat in a girl's vagina. It's called the whistle ball bat challenge. And I remember, what a whiffle ball bat in a girl's vagina. It's called the whiffle ball bat challenge. And I remember what is the challenge? How far you can get it up and they would mark it.

And Jesus. How hard you can get. No, how? Oh. Well, that's the thing that's obsidian going, wow, oh my God. But in my brain, I'm like, this is fucking dumb. Yeah. You know what I mean?

You want to be like, you want to, you're on a picture, you want to fit in. But the thing is to what I think what you said is 100% true. If you're honest, you want to fit in. You want to be, like, you're on a big show, you want to fit in, but the thing is to what I think what you said is 100% true. If you're honest and you really believe the thought, like even if it's something political or religious or something that can make one side upset, you had to fucking believe what you're going to say and be able to back it up and be honest about it, then just saying some like, you know, shocking shit to make people upset and then you don't have anything to back it up or feel honest about it.

Yeah, but, no, because you can have honest, like garbage opinions. And even if they are like, you're convicted on those issues, it'll still fuck you up. And maybe it should. I don't know. I don't think though, like, like, if you think like, yeah, like, you know, the police should kill black people, right? Right. I mean, like, you can be what did you say?

Yeah, please cut that and then dub it over Paul's mouth. Yeah. Yeah, please cut that and then dub it over Paul's mouth. Yeah Yeah, you're right somebody's just says some shit like that and they believe it then that's fucking well You should have that person on your show that I think if you're gonna say wow shit all the time you have to be like Pretty explicitly a political that way you can always just dismiss it is like yeah, it was a fucking joke or whatever. But it's not like the stuff I'm talking about that I did on these shows. At the time, it was acceptable as what it was. I mean, look at Howard Stern. He's one of the greatest interviews of all time now.

He's like, everybody goes on a show from the Beatles and fucking the Stone. I mean, everybody back in the day, he was crazy and he did all kinds of edgy shit. Yeah. I don't think you can hold people accountable for what they did 15, 20 years ago. I just don't, because what was acceptable back then, on the radio, or television or whatever, isn't acceptable now.

And people do evolve and people do change. People do become better people. Well, I mean, for better for worse, mostly for worse, is like an entire media industry built around like destroying people's careers based on like some perceived transgression of, you know, violating some social more A about, you know, like you can't say this or that in terms of like joking

Okay, so use mure again. I'm throwing Dirty interface. All right. Say mure again the point is Is that like it you can like tell yourself it doesn't matter all was in 1993 You were allowed to say faggot in the context of a joke back then It's like if somebody wants to fucking write an article and be like, I can't believe they did this, people will be chomping it a bit to get your shit removed or whatever.

And that's just like, you can't do anything about it. That's just what the world is now. So there's no point worrying about it. Might as well just continue doing the shit I like doing. And if it destroys my life so be it, I don't fucking care anymore. I think you're right. But I also think, but when you have a kid, when you have a family,

when you have, and I've changed morally, my morals have changed. The things that I'm okay with have changed. I'm not okay with certain things anymore. I don't, you know what I'm saying? But how do you know that that's you actually changing and not just like, the current iteration of you going into O and A back in the day and being like, oh, I'm just playing along because I'm Bobby and I play along.

How do you know that the world around you hasn't become more vindictive and punitive in terms of how they deal with like jokes people don't like? And that's reflecting on your quote unquote, change morals. No, because I feel it. I've tried to do it. I've worked at evolving in certain things because I didn't like it back then. I used to say this to Jim, I'd be like,

dude, sometimes I do the show and I feel like I want to take a shower. Like I was, like I, yeah. And it's like, yeah, sometimes you cut up and shit and things happen to you like, fuck. Ah, what the fuck did I do that for? And you go home and you're like, you know, I'm looking at my check and my K. What's up?

Please don't fucking listen to the radio. Please. It's also different for the radio host and the guests because the radio host just wants ratings So when open Anthony would have people come on there and do that's their fucking ratings That's their show. They don't care who was who's coming in and out really they just want good radio You know the thing that happened with I remember the thing that happened with Burr and Patreason, they got into a big fight. And in afterwards, they were just like, oh yeah, we didn't even remember that. That was good radio.

To them, it was good radio, but that was an issue that happened. And it was on YouTube, and it happened. So for them, they're just looking at it like, oh, we had a good day. That was awesome. That was fucking awesome. So sometimes you can go on to a show

and the host can take you places. I've been on a show, I've been on podcasts where people say, you know, talked about a woman that they were dating that I knew and people in the business, they're like, that kind or their end words would be dropped and you just be like, okay, you know, and you're just like, what the fuck am I doing here? But you know that you know them and they want you

on the show and it puts you in a bad spot. What about that? Nobody talks about that. What about being there? It's hard for me. I wouldn't come to a show that a friend of mine had just been like, guys, I got to leave. But unless it was really fucking, it would for me to just be like, I got to leave. I will talk to him after I'm like, what the fuck are you like? I can't agree with that. I can't

come aboard. But then to just automatically get up and leave that puts the guest in a bad spot. Yeah, but look, and there's a weird thing because you have to have funny in there. If people were always trying to be funny, you know, a lot of shit that you do or say is funny. It's not coming from a bad place. It's coming from trying to be funny and shock sometimes is funny. And we say fucked up shit.

That's just funny sometimes. So I think like you say, just look, if you're trying to be funny, if you're trying to make your friend laugh. Yeah. And you can. I also think it's important to like de-emphas trying to make your friend laugh. Yeah. And you can't. I also think it's important to like deemphasize the cultural importance of comedy. Comedy is fucking stupid and it should be.

And it shouldn't impact anybody's like politics or opinions. Right. And yeah, but every comic is a fucking politician. Now, I agree with that. Now, none of the ones that are fucking good are like historically have been. I mean, maybe there are some people that were like smart comedians or whatever, but the best comedy, at least comedy, if I always enjoyed has been like express, it's like just, this is stupid. This is for shit. Yes, this dumb shit. Well, even George Colin was very political, but he was funny. The shit that he would say

was funny. Yeah. He would do it. He would write jokes about it. Yeah. And do it. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? He was in. He didn't like tell you what side to go with either. No, you just wrote a joke about it on his opinion about it. And you laughed at it. You know what I'm saying? He doesn't pick a side. Huh? You didn't like tell you which side to go with either. No, you just wrote a joke about it on his opinion about it And you laughed at it even if you were a Catholic when he was trashing God You'll go on that's fucking pretty funny. Yeah, you know Now you run fucking Twitter Instagram. You're like wow, it's just scolded. I was just yelled at and what the fuck was that? Yeah Well, I'm like completely off social media now.

You're done. Yeah, well, I don't need it anymore. Like, I'm close. What's that? I'm close. I'm very close. But I tell you, I like Instagram stories. Wait, you're close to stopping?

I'm close. I don't read comments anymore. Very rarely do I read comments. I fuck with my Patreon because I know it's fans, I know it's just people who want to fuck it like my shit. But I don't even look at Twitter comments. I don't even, I don't see anything they write. I've never been to Reddit.

I just don't go there. But I don't hate these, I don't like fuck Reddit. I get it. It's a, they have to do it. It's their thing, it's their game. It's like when I used to play Call of Duty, you know, it was fucking crazy in there around three in the morning.

Some bad shit was said. You'd go into a room with a bunch of guys and it was fucking nuts and that's just the way it was. It was a 12 year old kid calling you a fat mother fucking piece of shit, you know. That's fine though. The fat piece of shit people are never going to try and get you. I mean, they may try and get you.

I'm not a rally these motherfuckers. Yeah. We're going to start fucking firing people. Yeah. Because being racist against fat people is the only acceptable racism left. No, not even. Now you can call for you. No, they used to be the argument.

It's like, whoa, everybody gets to make fun of fat people. And then fat people are like, yeah, I guess they're right. Maybe we should have a fat identity. You can still make fat, fun of fat guys. Fat guys, yeah. Yeah, you can make fun of fat guys. Not fat girls. Yeah.

Fun of fat guys. It's hard for a fat guys. But the thing is, fat guys, that's the thing is, fat guys, that's the thing. Fat guys, fat guys, fat guys can still fuck. Fat guys, fat guys, fat guys can still fuck. Fat guys, fat guys can still fuck. Fat guys, fat guys can still fuck. Fat guys, fat guys can still fuck.

Fat guys, fat guys can still fuck. Fat guys can still fuck. Fat guys can still fuck. Fat guys can still fuck. Fat guys can still fuck. Fat guys can still fuck. get a problem of being a fat woman is that people like only fuck you in secret or you know for you know some guys like you know but yeah no i mean like the problem being a fat woman is that people just like the people that want to fuck fat women can't even like admit it most of the time i mean it's like you know being into like feet or something weird almost to that extent

really yeah no i mean it was suck to be a fat woman. We're like, you have like men that fuck you and they're like really enjoying fucking you and they're like, listen, we can't be seen together in public. Here's your sandwich. Yeah.

It's not me. It's not me. The pepper's on the top. Right. That guy's can still fuck and then if a woman's like, I don't want to date you, it's like, perfect. Then I can just go fuck other women and continue to be a fat piece of shit.

So that works in their favor. I, I don't, I mean, I like chubby girls. I've always liked a chubby girl. I like a proportionate chubby girl. I don't like a chubby girl with small tits. I don't like a chubby girl with big tits and a flat ass. I like a chubby girl with big tits and a big, everything's good, you know, everything like, you know. Sure.

I like a chubby girl. I really do. I don't know, I mean, I've been with fat girls too. I've been with fat, like, fat of the me girls. And they were fun. They're fun. Yeah. Yeah, you can get, after you've done,

you get them, you know, a little room service. Feed them a little bit. Room service in your apartment. No, I'm not, I'm not, I'm, a little room service. Feed them a little bit. Room service in your apartment. No, I'm fucking about my wife. No, I'm not fucking about my wife. I'm not fucking about my wife. Yeah, we get chubby girls. You talked about, like, it was like an amusement park ride.

I was kind of... I just have to joke with my act, I like fat girls. Not so big that both my knees don't touch the bed. I don't want it to be like fucking an upside down canoe. I should on that, like like fat identity movement a lot, but it's mostly because it's gotten into the territory now. We're like, we're like denying that obesity has any like medical consequence, which is like absurd. Of course it's fucking horrible.

My feet tingle every day. The gravity is evidence of that. Yeah, it's terrible. Yeah. It's not healthy to be as fat as me, Mike, and Oscar Yeah, how funny would it be if Bobby and Mike started a movement? Like you just started rallying The universe just got fat lives matter The physics fat lives matter the physics of the universe were like designed to show fat people That there's something wrong with that If gravity if gravity just didn't, if we lived in a world where

somehow gravity was only tied to your personality, we could be 300 pounds, but you're a great person. So you've got like a 70 inch vertical. Then maybe you could make the argument to be fat as it would be. What about that movie? Wally, you see Wally about the robot. Yeah, with people who get so fat that we just infloting chairs. Yeah, yeah, I saw that and I was like, that is a great idea. Yeah, like that would be fun. I would use that. Yeah, what all day today on a rainy day, I would just float. Oh, to be there's an ideology you can adopt. It's called luxury gay space communism. And it's it's a list is a seriously something that people embrace. I love this because he looks like he's at dumb like I am. No, I am. But he's very highly intelligent. No, not at all. Yeah, you

really are. Stop it. No, I just know what luxury gay space communism. And I've seen the movie Wally and the word which is in. Who's another word too with the M. All right. I remember seeing, I don't mean to interrupt you. I remember seeing Nick in a comedy club once and one of the funniest things he just goes into a bit and he goes, see, I just walked in and he just goes, here's the thing with radical Islam.

I just fucking walked out leavens. So fucking hilarious. It makes me so mad that he just hasn't done to stay with stand up the whole time. He would be like fucking massive right now. I do stay was staying up the other time. Now you did, you quit. You went away.

I did, I did, I did, I didn't. I didn't quit. I just, it was diminishing returns. I got to the point where I was comfortable enough to do the bits that I wanted to do, but I didn't have an audience. And then so I would just go up and bomb doing like jokes that I like. Yeah. And then even now that I have an audience, they only do well like 20% of the time anyway.

Maybe enough for me. Yeah. What were you saying? Stick to podcasting. I like podcasting. But what about women you bomb? Only four people. Well, I'm sorry.

You were saying about the gay space. Oh, yeah. No, the idea is that we all live in like a wally spaceship. But then there's no like defined gender roles or sexual roles or whatever. So everybody's liberated, the fuck whoever they want. And then also you get iPads and brazer scooters or rascal scooters or whatever, yeah.

And then you just get your dick sucked off by whoever. And everybody's, I don't know if everybody's fat in luxury gay space communism, but I can't imagine how they wouldn't be. I don't think they would be fat. Yeah, I don't think so. Because if sex is involved, you want sexy people. Like, you know what I mean?

Like I said, I like chubby girls, but I prefer an in-shape girl. You know what I mean? I think that if sex is a key factor in it, I think people would be in shape. Most people would try to do it. I think a lot of people that are heavy or fat kind of, like I think, I don't have sympathy for them number one. What the fuck? No, I don't have sympathy for them. I think that a lot of them choose to.

Stop saying for them, who's them? Fat people. Are you three of them staring at you? No, but wrong. It's just only two of them, but it adds up to three. Yeah, but you Oh, I'm sorry Somehow I didn't see you That's possible

You know what I mean? You literally bumped you when he went out by you. You even do a bit about it. How you're like, oh, I got a couple of fats left because I'm going to go back. I've seen you lose, you've lost 40 pounds and like that. Oh yeah, I can lose, because I can go to the gym and lift and work out and I have no problem. It's so funny because like some fat people don't have that ability. Stops, I do care about him, he's like my best, like one of my best friends or whatever. And like I do, even though the fuck doesn't call me anymore, I do have a little sympathy.

And yeah, I do get like genuinely concerned for him as my friend. I mean like, yeah, oh, oh, ha, ha, having your tooth ripped out by a chicken wing, very funny. But like losing your teeth is like, that's your body is like giving you lots of signs that you need to fucking like. Do not, do not, do not. Like make some kind of changes. Your body's dying.

Yeah, no, he's literally fucking dying, man. He ripped at the bottom of his foot, like in a basketball game, and then he was like bed ridden just on drugs for weeks on end. And it's like, man, you, you, like, please do something. Like please, like, I'll, I'll like make me plan meal plans with you and we'll go to the gym together. What's gonna have to stop you baby, too?

We'll have to cancel the account. I mean, that's, he's brand is dead. If he's not fat, if he's not fat, his brand's dead. Well, if he's dead, so is the fucking brand. Well, I'd rather go out. More importantly, there's no one to laugh at my jokes on my podcast, on how to fucking money. So that's maybe where my empathy comes from

is that he's my fucking bankroll. But I'm glad you're so close. I'm glad you care so much. There's like a little bit of a balance between being a human and being a monster. First of all, I have the glasses waiting. I'll grow that fucking dumb mustache and I'll get a kitten sweater in two seconds.

Well, he poises you in his example. He's like, Bobby's fine. And it's like, I don't think Bobby's been morbidly obese since he was four. I've been in shape. This is my sixth fat. Yeah. I just, I, I, I, I actually said to myself two days ago, I'm just, I'm right at the end of it. Because Damon Wayne's actually, I actually, I've met two skinny people that have diabetes, and that scared me. There was just Anthony, this guy at Hoiets, who skinny as fuck, just in shape Italian guy. I mean, looks fucking great.

Like Tony, like fucking, Sad and I fever, Tony body, you know. Good looking guy, and he's got diabetes, and then Damon Wayne's, he explained it in some interview that it's a disease that it just attacks your feet. It's circulation disease, and it's trying to take your feet away. And you don't move, the more you don't move,

and the more it just kills those feet, and I was like, fuck him, he's skinny as shit, and he's gotta deal with, but he actually, cause he's prediabetic, he actually worked out, moved, chases, diet. So I'm definitely at that. I think I'm done being a fat fuck. I think I'm done.

Yeah. Yeah, plus me and my wife fucked a week ago. Jesus. And it was what? What do you want to say? No, I'm just what? I didn't say me fucking some shit. No, I'm sorry. Me and my wife just went to another. No, I was saying the transition. But go ahead. Me and my wife had relations. What if I mentioned feel good? No, it wasn't even about that. You were just like, I think I'm done being fucking fat. I was fucking, I just thought you were, I didn't put a, I didn't put a, I didn't put a, I thought it would have been something else.

Like put a sock on, bent over to put your shoes on. You didn't do it another, you didn't do the transition. Yeah, yeah, but go, no, go ahead. It's a nice, I like, I'm in. I relaxed, don't say like that. I'm up banging my wife here, man. I kind of lean forward, I'm sorry. I don't mean to.

Yeah, we were, it was all set to, you know, the night was made, the bang. It was set, we were, it was all set to, you know, the night was made, the bang. It was set up, someone was watching the kid. What? I was smiling. We were going to dinner. She ordered light.

I knew she was ordering light. So I ordered light because nobody wanted to have, you know, pasta belly when you're fucking. Yeah. So we both ordered light. It's, that's the best part of a relationship where it's like you just, you've made yourself unfocable through LaZonya.

It's like 8 p.m. You're like, let's just, Netflix, I can. Yeah, and yeah. Well, I mean, she looks so good, dude, man. She, her, she had her hair, fucking out. My wife always does her hair up because she is the fucking housewife. She's always home. She stayed home, mom. But then, she had her hair fucking out. My wife always says her hair up because she is the fucking housewife.

She's always home, she stayed home mom. But then when she does her hair, she has this gorgeous black fucking Indian hair. Just insane. And she had the dress on and she looked great. I always forget she's got fake titties. I got her a few years back. And then with my life.

No, just one, I could afford one like Mike's hair I I yeah I yeah yeah and then I had to get naked I was like more I was like didn't know it was a pose like fuck it I just stood up you know what I mean it kind of took a pose kind of you know got in the best position I could get it what'd you eat what'd you go with? I went with salad and shrimp cocktail. Yeah, because if I ate a pasta, I'm done. Oh yeah. I'm gonna go back, I'm gonna to while I'm fucking, you know,

well, you know, yeah, that's terrible. Fat, a fat guy, fucking your husband. Fat, fat fucking. Ah, just fucking job of the hut. Just a little holes in my stomach just tooting haha but it was actually good we had a good we had a good session man good session I was proud of myself I was tucker I was tucker but at the end of it I was like fuck I remember I used to fuck I used to fucking come here. Good over here. All right

She'd be like what I'm like get the fuck What do you construction work? Make her hair into a handle fuck all right fucking make twist your hand What what's that? A bowl. Gaze, gaze. Gaze, gaze. Sure, the denial. What do you have sex?

Um, yeah. Yeah, and that was good though. It was good sex. Papa, pap. Yeah. You've never had sex camp. I know. I'm a virgin.

Yeah, you're a virgin. Is that true? Yeah. Well, not after Hollywood. It's not true. Have fun. You're not a virgin. No, no, no. Haha, that's not true. Have fun. You're not a writer. No, no, no, fucking dad's a rock star.

You know, fucking around concerts a whole life, fucking meeting bass players and guitars. She banged Nikki Six when she was fucking 16. I know, I'm getting it, but true. Ah, that's not true. Do you have a banger rock star? Yeah. Oh, Damn. Time for the guess game.

No, no, no. If we guess it, if we guess it, we tell us, is it hard rock or your dad's rock? I'm just telling you. Just tell me if it's hard rock you know, we can at least guess. How about this, would we know the person for sure? 100%. Would we know? Okay. Oh, so it's from your generation. Yeah.

So it's a younger rock star. Yeah. Wow. Is it the guy from Coldplay? Ha ha ha ha ha. How'd it be crazy? I don't know, why not? The guy from Maroon 5.

I'm not telling you. Okay. All right. Is he white? It's so funny, it's like name a band. And I'm like like I don't know If that was the prompt name a band that's been around in the way I like my Kings of Leon was it them no was it one of the Kings no so it's almost yeah

the Princess of Leon that was the princess is the Queens of Leon the Queens of the Stone Age no no that would be cool I like them they're really good the Queens of Leon the Queens of the Stone Age. No, that would be cool. I like them They're really good. Yeah Kings of Leon sucked out. Hopefully they're not friends of yours Dave roll no, that'd be good to but if Kings of Leon we were to talk about artiq monkeys No, she said young though Dave girls not that old What's close to Kings of Leon? I don't know. Oh, fuckin' no one. Oh, I know you banked. I know it is. Hey.

Royal blood. I don't know who that is. You don't know who Royal blood is. No. BAM! Get out. Play Royal blood, little. Can we do that?

Buck, cheer. It'll get it flagged. Buck, cheer. Yeah. But you can also listen to the live from the shed and they're playing that thing. Yeah. Oh, don't fucking flag my fucking life from the shed yet.

I'm not gonna play the chute. Chute. Yeah. Oh, don't fucking flag my fucking life from the Shaggy. Yeah, that's gonna play the shoot Um, all right, whatever Yeah, I I don't know. I think you're right though if fat people There's no there's no excuse. You can't I know people like just look someone said just love yourself Like because I'm gonna I'm gonna fucking grab my chest in a tomato patch. They don't go alone That's why I don't want on with match, match life. That's why, I don't wanna fucking, finally make it, finally make it to happiness, which I'm at.

I finally made it to happiness in life. I truly love my life. I have very little Disappointment right now like even with the career Yeah, because I come home and I love being with my kid. I love being with my wife I have good people like friends in my life that I spend time with I talk on the phone with I philosophize with and I make good enough money I don't have this crazy life that I have to I don't have a lamb with, I philosophize with, and I make good enough money. I don't have this crazy life that I have to,

I don't have a Lambo, I don't have a fucking, I have a ranch in Westchester, I'm living good right now. Relative to, you know what I mean? I'm relative to somebody that's famous because of my lifestyle. So I don't, you know what I'm saying? So I'm happy. I don't have to worry about shit right now. And so anything like extra is kind of gravy.

So if I get on a TV show, that's awesome. If I shoot a special, that's great. If I just do gigs and work clubs for the next five years, that's great. Because you know, I always looked at doing clubs like, oh, fuck, when I first, when I go off at the TV show, I was like, fuck, because I was flying first class, you got a taste of that.

You got a taste, like I hate that new commercial from, what is it? Hulu, Hulu, fuck you. What's the commercial? Oh, they fucking suck, Hulu commercial, play this, fuck it. It's such a fuck you to everybody. I don't even understand it. It's such a fuck you to everybody I don't even understand it

it's such a fuck it makes me sick and these are the actors that are like we need everybody to be equal everybody have rights and blah blah and they're doing this fucking commercial watch this turn this up watch this unmuted day ago how you need headphones yeah unless you can read miles all, there you go. I need to have fun. How you need headphones, yeah, unless you can read miles. Alright, here you go, Michael. Here's a little tip for you. Never fly in first class. Runes flying in coach forever.

I never take Joe Manganelo. He ruins men forever. That's a funny thing about better. Once you try it, you can't go back. That's exactly why you should never get hoolo. With tons of shows and movies. Plus live TV for news and sports. That's not the one.

That's not the one. That's just the one with them. Yeah, they have go to find the one with all the actors. So all these people, I like, don't do this. Don't do that. Don't do like this. There it is right there. Never get a king size bed.

Let me know the same. Yeah, get is that it right there? King size bed suck. I love him. You're out of your fucking true. Fuck that. No, fuck you. I'll fight you to the fuck. California King. The best thing I've ever gotten in my life. Why? Because it's fucking a massive huge bed with a five inch pillow top terry cloth on top. It's like sleeping in heaven. You could. You could. I used to sleep on a piece of

plywood for years. Yeah, because you're a fucking lunatic. Well, I'll you could you could I used to sleep on a piece of plywood for years Yeah, because you're fucking lunatic. Well, I'll tell you what happens when you sleep on a piece of just hard wood with nothing But a yoga mount top of it. What are you? What what yeah for years I slept on just plywood and It would be what happened was I got bed bugs like three times and I threw up my mattress in the middle of the night And it was like you know the middle winner and I didn't have the money to get another mattress, so I just ended up sleeping on the plywood. And I got used to it.

And when you sleep on plywood, what happens is you wake up when you're done sleeping and then you get the fuck out of bed and you don't spend any more time in bed for the rest of the day. So it was the most productive I've ever been in my life because I'd be up at 8 a.m. and I would just work and I didn't have a fucking bed to stay in. Unless you- Your back was fucked up? No, never.

How about this, unless you like this? My legs would go numb early on. Yeah, that's right. You were figured out. This is the best. No, my back was fine. I just couldn't feel my leg. It's a fucking kung fu master.

One of the five fingers at that home, you know? I know what you tell them. I know what you tell them. Like put on some like bullshit aesthetic thing but it does like give you like a reason to get the fuck out of bed. I have a comfortable bed now. Just a reasonable. You know, I actually have this other thing on my bed because I love my bed.

It's a king bed, five, five inch pillow top, Terry cloth. I have this thing that I got. It's called a fucking alarm clock. And I set it and I get the fuck up and I, because I'm, I'm an adult. It goes ding, ding, ding, ding, and I get up and I get up. No, I get up and I get the fuck up and I because I'm a I'm an adult it goes ding ding ding ding and I get up And I get up no I get you get up and I look at my phone and my bed's Comfort if you can if you know I don't do that. Yeah, I love my bed But my bed's comfortable so when I am in it. It's amazing for that six hours plywood. No friends. Yeah, that sounds yeah

Yeah, okay, you stay in there Yeah, okay. There's no you fucking in the sassin for Italy. I wish that would be great And a sassin for Italy. Yeah, I was Italy killer You know, you don't play Paris Irish the hit man the hit man the fucking first video game. They were in Italy Okay, I sorry. I'm Astave I'm Ask all you fucking weird fans on fucking come town patreon. He's right, dude Did you find it? I think this is it. All right play it. This is neck. This really bugs me. This is carefully

This is important. Hey, there he is. It's a warning fact It's something that will impact how you live your life Never fly first class Never. Fly first class. It ruins flying in coach forever. I never dig Joe Manganello. He reads men forever. Never get a king size bit.

Never get a walk in closet. Never upgrade to three clients. Never. Never sick part time. Never take a shortcut to the Emmys. Never. I'd be getting a kid. And most importantly, never the Emmys. Never. I'd make it. And most importantly, never get Hulu.

Okay, so never what? So never what? What? Never get a walk in closet? Well, he's putting on a Rolex. Go fuck your fuck. Never fuck a boy in Thailand. I wasn't even a pedophile, but fuck. I was so hot.

I was like, I want to take a shot. I never take a shot. I got to the Emmys and it was a helicopter landing on a fucking skyrise. Hilarious. Hilar- what a shit. People must watch it. Like most of the world is like, I'm never gonna know. I can't even afford a little.

Sorry. Yeah. Fucking dicks even afford a little. Sorry. Yeah. Fucking dicks. Never get a king size. Go fuck yourself. Oh, that made me just infuriated me. Never fight, folks. Because now when you go back to coach,

you're just the animal that you were. Mm-hmm. They never not fly first class, those people. Yeah. For the rest of their lives, all those people will never not fly first class. You could do that commercial. I could, we could do that commercial.

We could be like, dude, don't fly first. We should spoof that. Don't fly first class, dude. Don't you, don't. We should. Just do it. Dude, never take it. Never take it.

Never take it. We'll breakx out. They're trying to prove it. No, none of those people are even in first class. I know it makes me sick to my stomach. Well, they're acting. I love that they have first class though. They haven't changed it.

They're playing the proletariat. They're up in the club. Say proletariat again, I'm burning you with something. I'll burn you with something. They're just working class first class people. Thank you. You know, everybody else who flies first class. They haven't upgraded first class in TV or films since wedding singer. It's those same two seats that don't exist.

I've never seen a plane that looks like that. It's the same 1985 first class seat. It's stoop. It makes me sick that they did that. Oh, who the fuck? I mean, am I right or am I just too sensitive? Well you never told us why you came in so happy. You said something, you kind of were alluded

to that something happened when you came in super happy and a little weird. Or whatever it was, never do it again. Right, yeah, because. I mean you were fucking doing a towel, you fucking. I was happy to be here man. I'm happy to be doing the show. I had a great day, I was a rainy day.

We did live from the shed the other day. I mean, all the, you know, the camera I bought, I figured it out. It works amazing. Becky's the one who hooked me up with it. Oh, yeah. Dude, I love purchases and going through instructions. Oh, I fucking love learning. I spent days on YouTube with just these fucking nerds. Okay, what we're gonna do with the GH5, go to manual, then click on the man. You can also go, it's like nine different ways to do everything. We shot, Voss was hilarious,

or her dad did an episode of life in the shed. Yeah. I got news too about life in the shed. What? No Gabby's gone. You go on a LA. And it's winter time. I'm gonna be shooting, it's going to be and I just

I just made this kind of official today. Live from the shed is going to be live from the pussy cat. I'm going to be shooting it from the pussy cat lounge. We're going to set up a stage and when it need help, right? To decorate it, to kind of design, stage design, TV. So I'm going to be shooting the show and set a life on the shed. It's going to be life on the pussycat. And we're going to be able to get a bunch more people. I already booked the Liza Colbe for the next one, who's awesome. I'm going to, I think I'm going to get Jim Norton for the next one. And it's going to be great. So it's, I am gonna be doing from the shed, what me and Verzy did.

I'm gonna be doing unboxings from the shed, and with that camera, which is amazing. And I talked to Gabby about this a while back. I was like, I wanna start writing scenes, like just scenes, not the fucking whole thing, and then pitch it, and then get rejected, and have your life. I like the fucking process of acting. I like it.

So I finally started writing and I wrote one scene and Versi comes up to my shed all the time. We smoke. So I wrote it and I gave him this three page scene and we ran it like a bunch of times and then I shot it. It's so good. Yeah, I shot it. I don't know, I don't know, it's so good. Yeah. Did he tell you about this con? No. No? After we shot the scene, we went out to the,

I have the, was it the solo stove, this fire pit they sent me? Fuck it incredible. We're just sitting there, you tell it. We're just smoking bats. Yeah, so he's got, we're sitting there and his wife's out. And the prior to this one, we went to the, when we did the Yeah, there was a possum outside and the possum hidden the corner and you know Possum we've seen possums right yeah, whatever so we're just sitting out there and his wife goes oh look

It's there again, and he goes nah, it's not Something though, and I'm just sitting there and he goes oh, it's the skunk skunk's there right just not like sometimes I see until he's fuck on me right and a fucking And a fucking skunk just starts walking two feet next to me. And I'm going, what the fuck, dude? He goes, what the fuck? He acted like it's not Shalant, the thing could fucking, it could be rabbit, it could be, it's a fucking skunk. And it was next to me.

And he acted like it was a kitten that he's been taken care of. I've been surprised in my life by the animals I've been afraid of. A chicken one time. Literally, I'm afraid of a A chicken one time? Literally. Are you afraid of a skunk if it was next to you at night? I used to live in a place. Yeah, well, I got caught off guard by a chicken.

I was in somebody's backyard, it was pitch black, and then there's just a giant chicken. I agree with him. Like, if I'm just sitting there in a dark and a chicken's next to me, I was in a farm. What the fuck is that? I was walking on two legs.

I was freaking me to fuck out. I was in a farm in Vermont. I walked up and picked up the chicken. I just grabbed it. I was picked up chickens before, but if you get caught off guard by a chicken. Yeah, chicken would flip you out. I think if you got caught,

you were scared of a chicken. You were surprised by a chicken. I was surprised by a chicken. But I'm in my backyard. You live in the woods. I don't understand. Bobby, we're smoking a cigar casually and you go, oh, there's a skunk

and it was fucking where Nick is. Right? It just walked by. And you left it like it was not shalong. It's like, how about a heads up? Like, this thing a skunk and it was fucking where Nick is, right? It just walked by and you were just, you like to like it was not so long. It's like, how about a heads up? Like, just think it could spray me and fuck up my knife. Yeah, but if you flip the fuck out, I know that that's when they go, they get scared. And that's when they just swept their tails and shoot piss out. If you just chill, do we went in the woods for the night?

Yeah, with no skunks. Dude, I'm telling you right now, there was a lot of shit by us during the night. I was in a place in Los Angeles. I lived in the backyard and there was skunks always. I used a home loop. No, it was a garage. I should put it folded in. Well, you're living in Japan. I would do like six times scared by chicken. All right. It's a China town. I was in a garage and like this lady's backyard. You make nine million a month. get a house I didn't and I went I went into the backyard and there was always skunks at night And so you would have to wait until the fucking skunks cleared out the walk back into the yeah, although there was

There was a woman that lived there who I'm pretty sure was a prostitute who had a living boyfriend named juice Juice showed me that you could just bark at the skunks. He did that one time and it got rid of him like fuck I guess I, what? And then they all ran away. What did he do? He did like Tim Allen noises. Next is one of my favorite.

Those people, this guy, this guy, this guy, I came on one night and there's just this like enormous black dude on my like porch or whatever. Juice? You bark at him. He goes, I like, I'm like, hey, you know, he extends his hand to me and he goes, juice. I'm like, hey, you know, he extends his hand to me and he goes juice. I'm like, okay, do I say juice?

I don't know what the fuck is. I'm like, no, my name's juice. And it's like, why would I assume that? So you're arguing, right? You're not arguing with them. I'm like, oh, okay, cool. I'm gonna say whatever I have to to get through this guy walking the door. He actually ended up being the coolest person there

Jesus. Yeah, yeah, real nice guy real smart guy too. I enjoy talking about this fucking Nick is the most interesting Con Exactly right now. That's why I know if we became friends when we hung I'm glad we don't see each other a lot Because I would bore you three days in you'd be like yeah I'll be talking to you about some story projects to work on. I love projects, love chores. All right, cool. I got some stuff for you. Yeah, let's do it.

All right, this, this went to we're going to, uh, yeah, I want to redo the shed. I'm down. I was speaking of, uh, doing stuff. Ridge, I got this, the Ridge. Uh, uh, have you got one of these first, uh, these, what you carry? Do you have a wallet?

Yeah, you have it. Let me see this thing. Let's check out this wallet. Oh, I've seen Yeah. Let me see this thing. Let's check out this wallet. Oh, I've seen this. Yeah. They said the Ridge is a minimalist front pocket wallet that helps you reevaluate your everyday carry.

Longing by Father and Son team, funded on Kickstarter in 2013, the Ridge now resides the pockets of over a quarter of a million men and women. The RFID blocking wallet is made by two metal plates, either titanium carbon fiber or aluminium if you're from Australia, bound together by durable elastic bands. Here it is, I have one because I have my wallet on my phone, but when sometimes when I travel, I want a wall, I hate big fucking walls. I don't like having everything in the world This is it right here. Look at that thing. How cool is that?

Yeah, I would scare about my money in like that though. Why yeah? I have I have to keep a bunch of old bullshit Like gift cards in my wallet and everything else will fall out. It's holding everything together Yeah, this wallet you can have eight you can have up to 15 cards in it Oh, wow 15 cards and this is how you get them. You push the thing and then they all come out and you push it back and that's it in and out. Two seconds, the ridge. Here you go. I gave that one to Becky.

I think we're giving one to a fan. Where is that one? I have it. You have it? I'm gonna give it to Clint right now. What about that? Clint, you're getting a ridge wall today baby. How do you like that?

Bing bang boom. I have one at my house, I love it. Clint, you're getting a bridge wall today, baby. How do you like that? Bing-Bang-Bum. I have one at my house, I love it. I think I have a teal, a teal one. Teal. Is that a teal? The color? No, like teal. That's my cup of mud was teal at my prom.

Okay. Very cool, that's cool. Yeah. Yes, it's unbelievable. I carry all this stupid stuff with me and it goes all over the place. That's why I'm very, I like minimalistic shit. I like carrying what I need because if you don't have it, you don't fucking need it, I think. That's why I wish I had one of those big warehouses just with nothing in it. Or like a bed that's just a piece of plywood

Anyways It's very sleek. It's very awesome. It comes in so many different colors It has the walled on the back Fucking sleep so good Mr. Miyagi, anyways, the Ridge is a real man. I'm a real man. I'm a real man. I'm a real man. I'm a real man.

I'm a real man. I'm a real man. I'm a real man. I'm a real man. I'm a real man. I'm a real man. I'm a real man. I'm a real man.

I'm a real man. I'm a real man. I'm a real man. I'm a real man. I'm a real man. I'm a real man. I'm a real man. I'm a real man.

I'm a real man. I'm a real man. I'm a real man. I'm a real man. I'm a real man. and colors. What's the code? YKWD, 10% off today. It's right here. Where? Let me see, read that, babe. Get 10% off today with free worldwide shipping by going to ridjwallet.com slash YKWD. Yeah, go. That's ridjwallet.com slash YKWD. YKWD, you're getting one today.

Where's his? Do you got his? I think we're going to have to ship it. Why? Because I don't bring it Well, you took it home. Yeah, I was in my bag and then I changed bag. Sorry. That's alright I can't get mad at you because of the way you talk so we're gonna have to ship it to you baby Is that cool? Oh, he disappointed? Why can't you just give me yours? I don't have an army they can ship what's that thing? That's hers You give come on. No, she likes that one. Oh, all right

Do you like the other you like that color? Yeah, I like the gold. Yeah Yeah, you're gonna get up to wait is give a fuck look at it. He's banging fucking Charlie. It is two at a time Ow anyways back to the podcast what The doctor the good doctor. Oh, oh, Salavagus Have you been there? You got to go. Would you go? How about you and your girl is a vacation? You oh, I hate Vegas, but would you go with your girl and Stavvy like a like a come town and Somebody else maybe no. Yeah, if I do stand up, I don't want to like be tied to Adam and stop or anybody really so what about you and your girl?

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I look I the club if they'll book me. It's not a headline It's it's just like a regular spot. So everybody does look at there it is right there this weekend Rocky Dill Day the best It's a fucking greatest me me Versi Vos and Keith did it and you go in you do 20 minutes a pop doesn't matter where you go Yeah, and it was I guy, look at that lineup. I want to Smith, Taylor, Thomas, and I don't know her. Well, I'm sure the clothes great. I'm just like Vegas is a place I have no interest in.

I love it though. I don't know why you don't like it because I went hiking. What? What did you, what did you make a face for? You asked a question and that's how the podcast has run for eight years, Mike. I'm like a dog. I have ADHD. I get sid a dog. I have ADHD.

I get sidetracked. I don't need you making white faces looking at Zach. It's the only reason you have a successful marriage is because you're surrounded by people. You can just abuse at work. Yeah. There's nothing to take home with you. No. It's all here.

Mike's been crying himself to see for years. He just looked at it. I don't mean I didn't think he looked at bad. He's gonna book more gigs than me. Mike how many times have you cursed this guy on your way home? I don't curse him. So what?

This is what I don't understand about this fucking podcast. They don't curse me, they love me. I was joking. No, it doesn't matter Paul, you don't turn my fucking piece of it. Because internally they're like maybe a little change. They don't watch any fucking mob moving in your life. All right, I expected out of the fucking I don't expect it out of you

You know what I mean the guy who hates king side beds fucking I know a juice a big black guy and fuck scouts for a fucking summer You're trying to sleep in a literal closet Well, you got to do a sleep on nails That way you'll wake up If you have skunks in the room they'll piss on you you'll sleep two hours a night and you'll get so much done My name's Nick. Do you know how much easier? you? I look, if you haven't murdered a node lady, you see all like scum piss. You really have to work to get people to like you.

So it's a hurdle. You gotta handicap yourself. Yeah, you've done that. You fucking done it. You do it on podcasts with stop, stop baby. Anyways, what? What? Laffable.

Yes, laughable.com. Have you, do you use laughable? Nick, of course you don't. Um, it's the greatest app for podcasting. Uh, if you love podcasts, please go get it. It downloaded. It's free. Did it come out with Android yet?

It's like IMDB for podcasts, right? Actually, it, you would think that it looks like it's just a regular podcast app, but what is cool about it and they manually have somebody do this. Yeah. Is that okay, so you're on my show. Uh-huh. They go to my show, my fans, they click on my show and they see your face. Yeah.

And they click on you. I love him on that episode. And then every single podcast you've ever been on comes up under your name. Yeah. So they can hear everything. That is a novel idea. And that's, but I, they emailed me and I, you get so many fucking emails that are like,

well guess what? We have listed your podcast on our website. Please, you know, give us $20. It's like scam websites. He's a Jew from Boston. Well, I don't know if that's what this guy, it was all the other Jews that get in that's wrong. That, yeah, there's just so many like aggregate websites.

They just want to do that. I feel like you just want to do that accent always Yeah, just shot out of you The opportunity to do my actual juice impression earlier So yes, I'm man think I got something to get fired over. Ah, shit. So anyways, yeah, there we go. What else?

That's it? Yeah, I'm doing, we'll switch things up. Yeah, we should. I wonder if we could go to, go to vimeo dot com slash uh... paink robber kelly paink what is the fucking name of it i wonder if it's up there you can see it vimeo dot com slash robber patrion oh no robber kelly patriot

uh... what's the patreon thing will be put the stuff zack what's robber kelly patriot i does that it now? Zach will find it Zach puts stuff up there anyways, but don't do it on Mike I don't want you just I want you to bring it up. Yeah. Well, so anyways. Yeah, we shot this shed. It was fun Wasn't that fun where to Vegas? No, the shit we shot in the shed. That was awesome. That was great Yeah, I mean it was fucking fun. I mean scene was funny It was fun. It was a real the thing is that's a real argument

or that's a real thing that we would have. Right. And it, right? Didn't it come across like that? Yeah. Yeah. That's what I thought it was a great step. Yeah, and I like that I wrote it in a day. We shot it with that camera's fucking stupid. And now you can just learn everything off of YouTube. I mean everything, I watch, I'm sitting there with 180, all this shit, how to just fill,

see you have to go to film school, NYU and come out and shoot a bunch of sh- now you just go on as a bunch of fucking nerds teaching you how to film shit and then how to edit it and put shit together and fucking play your audio. I was like, what the fuck, just a fucking middle-aged fatso Learning shit in a shed. They look good. What it did it came on all right. I mean, it's alright I mean it's not I know that people look at you see people shoot shit and they you know, you know You like wow that's your first go at it. Yeah, you know, it's good enough Good enough. Funny is this funny. It's funny dude people are shooting movies with iPhones, movies. Now, production's way hard in that, because the hardest thing is getting good sound.

And you need people to know the what the fuck they're doing. Yeah, fuck, you know, he's absolutely right. The sound was fucked up. You were a little hot, because I didn't, but here's the thing, I didn't put headphones in. I didn't do a sound check. I was just so excited that I knew all the other shit

that I just plugged Mike's in. And I saw the levels go up, but I forget that I I was more like this and you're like, what the fuck? Fucking inhale helium. What the fuck? I didn't sound like that. I'm just saying you're higher. I had to I had I couldn't I you're you What? The fuck is that you're you? Well, you should have known that when you but you were because you were meticulous with every other thing in there All right, we're gonna move up. Move up. I'm off an inch.

Move up another inch. Move back. Clean this way. Get your head out of the fucking chair. I mean, you turned into, it's called cheating. We had to cheat. We had to cheat. Yeah, I fucked up on sound.

I fucked up. But I, you know, yeah. I've like, I had brief experience with like film production and stuff, like working on commercials. Yeah. You think like, why do you need all these people to do this shit? Yeah, you absolutely do. For a profession, if I was ever going to, you know,

be for a professional something, apps of fucking movie. Yeah, we tried shooting things on our own. And even like I was willing to spend the money to hire people. And I thought I hired enough people and it's still looked and sounded like not the way I fucking wanted it to. You really got to spend like a lot of fucking money to get things to look right. I don't know though. Did you find it way I fucking wanted it to you really got to spend like a lot of fucking money to get things to look right? I don't know though. Did you find it? I can't. Did you find it?

What the fuck I mean Mike literally It's like I said dude. Can you climb Everest? I can't I can't find it. What are you looking for? The Vimeo. You have the link that I set you? No. It's just, it's on Vimeo. It's my Vimeo.

Oh no, I do have that link. Yeah, send it to the whole Vimeo, but to the password. Just to that, no, don't send the password. Just send that clip. Can you send it to Mike so we can view it? She's gonna send it to you right now, Michael. Yeah, I think you're right, though. You do need to? She's gonna send it to you right now, Michael. Yeah, I think you're right, though. You do need a, I'm not that, look at you see

like the certain people that shoot shit, you're like, oh my God, that's fucking amazing. Yeah, I just want to. But we, I mean, look at it, we even shot, yes, they live in the shed, right? Yeah. How do you, I mean, two, three camera shoot. Yeah.

The iPhone shoots in, I mean, amazing video. 4K, if you get a filmatic pro and shoot with that, you can set everything up and we, I mean, crazy. It's pretty crazy where you can shoot with that stuff. It looks great. It looks great. Just, but lighting and sound is the fucking key. At the lighting sucks, you're fucked,

and if the sound blows, which it did, but I fixed it, I think. What you said, me sound good. Yeah, for you. With those, with DPs and like, grips can do, but I fixed it, I think. You said, me sound good. Yeah, for you. Here's what DPs and like grips can do. It's like amazing. It is amazing. It's really fucking impressive.

It's crazy. Lighting is just, you don't even see those people when you're shooting something. And then you watch it, like, oh, great. That's amazing. And then when you try to shoot something on your own, and you realize, oh, even when I was, my face was, because I'm bald, I have no hair.

Did I look like a light bulb? And Verzy had a hat on and his skin isn't as white as mine. He's a little darker, he's got that Yankee fan skin. And it's a little gray. And you do, you look all the same. I, there is, that is, you're right. That's a type of guy. Or is he gonna Yankee's hat? Is a middle eastern or Italian. Yeah, really fucking tell

Yeah, five and gray they turn gray and then a lot of them they they turned they hit 45 Boy they'll they just have this awful voice. Yeah, yeah, it just sounds like they've been inhaling diesel fumes Yeah, it's like a five o'clock shadow most of the time. Yeah. Then like if they shaved it, you know, eight by 11, there's the beard's back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of neck veins too on those guys. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Just a real like, you know, like a texture to the neck. Yeah. So it just veins like a basketball bumpy too. Yup. Yup, absolutely. No offense. No offense. But, you find it?

Oh god, this is the weirdest thing ever. I'm sorry, Mike, did I give you, it's too much, right? I'm Rick Kelly, it's a nice show. Just the fun. There it is. All right, you wanna watch it? You wanna see it? Sure.

All right, let's watch it. Let's make it big first. Let's hear it mostly. Make it big and then, yeah, we'll hear it. Well, here's the hard part, ready to stop it? Bring it back. The hard part was, when you filming it, I didn't hear the crickets. Okay, but I'm in the woods. There's a million fucking crickets. So when we're filming it to transition the crickets from

like you could hear them. So it's like, what the fuck is that? So I had to kind of shoot something outside the shot just so you could hear the crickets loud. So your brands like, oh, those are crickets. So then when you hear them a little bit in the shed, you're like, you know what they are. And there's in the shot, you hear, and I'm like, oh, fuck. So I had to show the ceiling fan go, so when you were in the shed, when you heard it, you'd be like, okay, that's that's what this is kind of established. Those shitty noises that I didn't

expect. I had to I had to pull a couple of things out of it. Yeah, so there we go, ready? Yeah, you over thought, right? All right. All right. The crickets are nice. Yeah, I like them. I love the long fan chucks.

That's so long. Just stop it. Oh yeah. You're like completely blown out. Yeah, yeah, let's go back. Let's go back. Oh, yeah. Do you want to hear that?

It's all the way up. Can you turn it up there? Yeah, we can turn it up there. Zaggle, just go back, Michael. Just don't fight me. Just go back. Ready? Yeah.

Listen. Just don't fight me just just go back Really yeah Listen Wait wait, do you hear it? It's a good smooth nice. Oh By the way, did you get the save the date for Mike Eels wedding? Yes, I did you gone Absolutely not I toss it in the trash. What? Well, that was a nice save the date.

You put it on a magnet, you pop it on the fridge. Exactly. I don't put my five-year-olds art on my $3800 stainless steel fridge. Never mind that dumb faces. OK, I get it. I have a fridge too. All right. Is your fridge stainless steel?

No. Does it have water fridge stainless steel? No. Does it have water and crushed ice? No. Does it have a built-in soda stream? No. Well then there you go. What the fuck is that? I'm so saying, I'm just saying.

You're saying nothing, you're insulting my fridge. What color's your fridge? What? What color's your fridge, Vers? What? What color is your fridge? What is the color? What color's your fridge? What is the color? What color is your fridge?

It's white. Okay. Alright. So you have the greatest fridge, top of the line, that technology fridge, but that still doesn't explain why you're not going to this kids wedding. Our friends wedding. Because weddings are hushed, Vers. It's a waste of time and money.

You got married? No, I didn't. I aloaked and that sucked too. Oh my god. So you hate regular fridges. Wedding sucks, aloaping sucks. What else do you hate? Christmas and puppies? My god. Okay weddings are just regular assholes trying to act like royalty for a day and they're not. They're regular assholes who don't have the money for this event but they still pay for it. And they fuck up my Saturday in the process. I'll just stay home. Thanks, I won't be missed. Jesus, dude. That's another thing. They go to a church they haven't been to in nine years. They stand in front of an altar with Jesus, the bride to be, says it to the bride's mage and we could go in Vargas. Now we're all going to hell. Thank you very much. I'm good.

Wait a minute. You told me you had fun at my wedding. I lied. You look, you motherfucker. What the fuck? You fucking lied? You motherfucker, you lied? Right to your face. What the fuck you were dancing all night? No.

Yours was one of the worst. What, Mr. Cocktail? It was a cocktail, I told you. No, it was everything. The food, the worst. What? The cocktail? I told her. Now, is everything the food, the music, some of your relatives smelled too. Her side of the family, right? Of course. It's wrong with you. How good is this? Yeah, delicious. Sorry about the wedding. Me too. me too. That's it. Not bad. Not bad. You got a guy in there to do that for the end of the sound.

I have the sound. Yeah, I changed a little bit from you to me. Because dude, it's so fucking crazy. You sound like you got like a lav mic on. He sounds like they're just getting on. Because I turned him down. But here's the thing. is you hearing it through this fucking crazy system now, when you hear it through a Mac,

it doesn't sound like that. You know what I'm saying? This is headphones. This is like you're hearing a higher fidelity. No, but I had, I bought fucking great headphones. You still need to pump it through something big, like this board to have it, what it actually is, because coming through the computer

it still didn't sound like that. And it's like the lighting, I have lights, I hook the lights up. But you sit there in these sets and these people walk up to your face and do this thing, and there's a tape man, and you don't even acknowledge these people, but they're the fuckers that are making it look amazing. And then in post, some person goes in and call

it corrects everything. So they shoot it in a certain format. You watch things when they get shot on the monitor and everything looks washed out great. Yeah, what is that called a raw rough footage. So it's like this. Yeah, there's like you could never I would never I would I always that to my fans check this out I wrote this I shot it. I added it. It's done bang I movie or whatever But I would never give that you could shoot some cool shit man Like looking at that shed but like at the beginning You could we could do a lot of like a lot of fun shit in there. That's what I'm gonna do Yeah, instead of it's live from the shed's gonna be the pussy cat, back to Segway, original fucking thought.

We're gonna be doing shit like that up there, you know? What? Because I started with this thing with the live from the pussy cat, live from the shed, I'm gonna move to the pussy cat, but I'm gonna shoot these things, like sketches, little things that I write up there with that camera and other things, you know what I mean?

So, what should you do? You should do two act plays. little things that I write up there with that camera and other things you know I mean so you should do two act plays great we should write a play with us three yeah me and boss are doing glingery gling boss that would be really funny you could just do shit and just put it out like all the time and just have like a channel that I do it's called patreon.com slash robber Kelly That's my channel. I

Did that's what I do you do that too? Yeah, but I was saying like you could maybe for like Out there just put it out there. I know I made a video. Oh, you mean give it to everybody. Yeah I did I wrote lyrics to the NFL on Fox theme I put that on the Patreon. I can send it to Mike if you guys As long as as long as we're at the point of the show where we're just Look at this thing I did I know we'll be talking and creating content right now, but Literally I'm gonna pull my phone out and phone it in No, it'll send you a YouTube link.

Like where the robot music shit with the fox? Michael, what's your number? I never saved it. I got a hear this. I don't say it on the fire. Don't say it on there. Don't say it on there. Uh, just text me now and I'll text you back. Uh, you text me now. I'll text you back.

Is that a song? Yeah, it is. Let's record that song for the Patreon You text me out. Not everybody's gonna fucking 10 million like you okay? I'm Not everybody's gonna fucking 13 rows with their mother's credit cards. I'm kidding. That's not what you get You got a psychopaths. Oh, what your fans are fucking do you have a demographic on your fans? No, you're right It's mostly teenagers is it really yeah it's teenagers who in like seven years I always say to come down that's who it's going to be it's nothing but people that are completely ashamed of the dumb thing they

enjoy you you keep saying that but it's getting bigger and bigger every month for now but I mean dude you went from 10,000 to 30,000 to 40,000. What are you at now? We're at 38th, we were never hit 40,000. I made that up. Yeah. When I promote you, I say 40. You're not gonna find it. You gotta go to the link. That's why I sent the link.

And now who's yelling at him? Now who's bully? Well, he did something wrong. Yeah, if I say, if you could Google it, it's not what I'm saying. To me, I just gotta take the hit, but you, you get to have a talk. He's not my surrogate wife.

This is just some fucking asshole I'm setting next to. He's gonna take the head, but you get to have a talk. He's not my surrogate wife. This is just some fucking asshole I'm setting next to. Why you fucking fuck about his feelings? I'm fucking life. What is that a zit removal of a 14 year old? This is it Michaels logged into his personal YouTube.

How did you do that? How did you do that? How did you do that? How did you do that? How did you do that? How did you do that? How did you do that? How did you do that? How did you get there plugs at home with a screwdriver and a soldering iron? Dude don't put your shit in. I take it off the fuck. Is it on the screen? Well, I'm telling you I have to email to myself.

Yeah, what are you gonna do? Anyways, so Clint, where are you from? Indiana. No shit. What do you do? I hope kids find housing for college. do no shit that's so nice you're like a good person do you live at home do you have your own place real you got a house the fuck yeah it's got a house how old are you do oh sky's crushing it

crushing that sky's crushing it yeah yeah 24 and a half He's like the jeeter of India. He's just crushing it. It really is. I mean, I was expecting, look at his teeth though. I was expecting like a fucked up tooth or something. You know what I mean? But God was like, now just take the whole thing. Take the whole good looking kit. You can have it. The house 24. Great looks.

It's the 2017 one, but you know, you have this one. Yeah, take that. Jesus Christ Clint. You have a girlfriend? Yeah I'm getting married. You getting married? No shit. What's her name? Oh her name's Christine.

She's spoken of mine. Yeah but on the side is, they're gonna have a nice life. They'll get married, they'll have a kid, the kid dies of like brain cancer at one year's old. Nicoless. Well that's how it balances out. What the fuck? It's not gonna bat, what if,

okay, how about this? No, there's nobody that gets all the luck, I'm saying. And I'm very sorry about your child a little, but what if, what about this scenario? He gets married, they have a child that has powers, if he's the first mutant X-Men, and he opens up a school in Westchester for other children who have abilities.

But what gets taken away from him? His wife gets murdered because his power is... So I need to, he's praying. And one time his mom says, you can't go out and he goes, I'm going out. And then he crushes her fucking head explodes. Right, I would already like a ugly duckling story where it's not that the ugly duckling

finds out he's beautiful at the end. It's just that all the other ducklings are murdered. He continues to be ugly for the rest of his life, and he never really deals with it. He killed the other one. But all the other ducklings have children and die of brain cancer. I want, and that's a story about a just world

that I think so much more. I want somebody to get all of the followers of Comptown and have them the FBI and NCIO, NSI, and CIS. I want you, you leave me. You're fucking nuts, dude. We got to get Jag on this. The FBI came to my house. I told that story on R.E.S. podcast.

Why'd they come to your house? Because my uncle, either my uncle ratted on me to the FBI or he told one of his buddies and they called the FBI on me. For what? I guess like I got on here to what's that I think you told that maybe yeah people know this story. It's not yeah, you did Jesus Christ Clint when you when you get married again April 19th. Are you excited? Yeah, I'm right 420, baby? That's for its stars. Fucking weed.

You married on Friday. It's three grand less than what? Any other day? Yeah, let no weakens. Huh, no shit. Where are you getting married? Downtown Indy. Downtown Indy, really?

I mean, do you still, your family is still together? Your family? You molested? Do you have any issues? Jesus pop let him have it brutally blasted for you Listen I gotta get back There's down I got a downtown thing I gotta take to take care of Friday. Wedding's are awesome though. My sister had one and then you're on over and it's yeah, you get the extra day.

What was the last Friday? You had the wedding, right? Yeah, back to back weddings, dude. It was fucking back to back to back wedding. Friday and Saturday. No, no, no. One weekend in Philly and then the next weekend. What do you do when you think it's all right? I know you ADHD is fucking kicking in. you have to go build something or kill something Back to fuck fuck I don't fucking hate him. I don't fucking I don't know why I say no all the time now I don't go. I'm not going. I don't give fuck who gets married

It's a waste of time. You know what the older I get I used to hate him now the other I get I love him really Yeah, if I don't have any responsibility I just eat and drink dude. I just eat Yeah, I say events. Yeah events of any kind. I don't mind events Dude you all you do is sit there you get food you get good food you get to drink You're saying that you talk first of all if your table's cool. It's awesome and then you fucking Okay, but if you table's not cool now You know where you stand with these scumbags. Yeah, then you just go to the bar and you fucking get hammered. So you're your table 22 with her fucking distant cousins.

Now you know, oh, that's what they put you in life. You thought you were a table three because I don't know what your friends. Because I'm not psychotic like you who was festered in that. And I would just enjoy myself. Joe, let's put me at fucking the, oh, the, uh, finished in the business table. Well, that's where you are in his life. Mentor. Yeah, I don't fucking like that. It's also like going to the, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, no, no, no, my brother older brother. Well, see, that's the best part is like, especially as people that speak publicly, you get to see the most inarticulate fucking retards in the world have to speak publicly in its hilarious. Oh, dude, summer

great summer bad. And you're just get to judge. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you just get to judge. It's fucking. My cousin's wedding or damn shit, woo girl friend goes, she's like, they say you have to kiss some frogs to me to print. And Lord knows Stephanie kissed a lot of frogs just calling her a whore at her wedding. I love that. I went to an all-Jewish wedding in Philly. It was all Jews. You ever see all Jews dance late at night? Looks like a group of people getting physical therapy. You're just fucking like twisting. It's awful.

It's fucking hilarious. Sorry, Gabby. Oh, my gosh. Well, she's, she's Jewish. I meant the older Jews. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Yeah, that's what I thought. I should have just stuck with it.

I, uh, I don't, I don't, I don't, but you're still not fucking selling me away. Oh, dude, you get a, you get a nice piece of cake at the end. You get a little, tonight's, the cake is never, ever worth it. I'm fine. A wedding cake's a gabbage. You know it's a good cake. It'm sorry. A wedding cakes are garbage. You know, it's a good cake.

It's because you're going to comics weddings. No, I'm fucking, you know what a cake is? Yellow cake chocolate frosting. That's a cake. What? What do you like strawberry cake? Yeah. I'm a cheese cake.

Fuck you and you're doing a cake. I'm glad you're going L.A. Ice cream cake. I'm with Nick. Ice cream cake. A catered event where they're just fucking just, you don't have any responsibility. I don't enjoy any of the other shit. I hate dancing. I don't catered event. A catered event where they're just fucking just, you don't have any responsibility.

I don't enjoy any of the other shit. I hate dancing. I don't like fucking doing any of that shit. I don't like wearing clothes. Nice clothes. You know, I don't think that's the best part. That's another thing too, because I'm fat. And you fucking fuckers know this.

You gotta go to a wedding. You gotta sit there in an outfit that's literally saying, you're fat. It's the whole time. The worst suits are fucking terrible. The worst. Where did it touch your body? Suites?

When are they gonna stop making people wear suits to work? You know what the food is? When the fuck do we, why do we have to dress up? Who's got it? We should all dress like Indian men because they have this thing. It's like a dress shirt made out of silk that just continues down from the apex of your got to your feet. So it's, I don't know what it's called.

I saw that. And then they could, like, you could change it. Well, it's just, it's like, it looks like a dress shirt. It's made out of silk. But wherever you're at your fattest, it's I don't know what it's called. I saw that and then they could like you could change it Well, it's just it's like it looks like a dress shirt. It's made out of silk But wherever you're at your fattest. Yeah, it's just straight down to the floor from there You don't tuck it in and then you just stand there with that nicer Indian restaurants They wear that and like that seems like the perfect outfit to wear to events Yeah, but there's a problem with it. Here's a problem with that you could literally piss and shit in that thing And no one would know because it would just go in between your legs and you just walk away. Yeah, but that's not a selling point

You got you got you got fucking I don't know. I swear getting Mary. You're asked what you the pants You need pants because you're asked what in your ball sweat gets absorbed by that. Oh, you have a skirt on no No, no, you wear pants underneath it. Yes, they wear the pajamas these like big poofy pajama pants I need a little I need need tight. Look it up. A dressing up nice. If a guy like Clint throws a suit on, dude, it's, he's, he's in a good shape. Yeah, what the fuck, he's dutch then.

Of course, he can go to H&M right now and have everything on the shelves. They always have his size. I know. Yeah, it's great for him. I'm talking about regular people. Go on a bus train of plane. 99.9% of the people look like Mike and me.

I put me in there at the last second, Mike. We look like us, chubby people. They don't look like Clint. You suck. If you suck Clint on a plane, you're literally going to be like, Holy shit. This guy's shit. Like that. Dad outfit.

That's too hot. You mean, you know, that's great. It's hot. It's like a hospital gown with pajama glasses. Yeah, type fat guy in those Battle addin You can grant wishes but only to shitty open my comedians. I can give you three dates on the road and that's it. Oh shit.

Oh, what do you got? Fat Indian dress. What was your spot? You'd be something like that, probably. That's getting worse and getting worse That'd be worse The jane you look like you would look like you would look like great. Just Google fat Aladdin, please Just please Google fat Aladdin and put images That's second one's hilarious.

Oh shit. Yeah, we're gonna do. I'd wear that where it just covers your belly button. I was, I respect fat guys that pull everything up over their belly button. And that, their belt goes like under the tit and it somehow slims the mod a little bit. I respect fat guys that just said fuck it and they're like, dude, you know what? If I want that chocolate cake at two o'clock in the morning and I'm gonna look like this I'm gonna have that chocolate. That's literally every fat guy. That's how you become a fat

Pull it back It starts with fuck it and then it ends with fat guy. Yeah, then it ends with losing feet They're like guess you lost For Those three toes. I don't have sneakers anymore, but I have to wear slippers. I'm glide now. Yeah, that shin wound never healed. Show me that thing for Nick real quick. Here we go, baby.

Make it big, make it big. Here we go. All right, here we go. Because I'm getting into songwriting. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh, that's cute. Oh People don't know there was lyrics to the song Dude if you don't fucking lose days That's all they know they had lyrics the whole time but now it's Balls My fucking guys

Nicholas that's funny trying to sell it to Fox By the lyrics They're own intellectual property Makes me like what is that on just your YouTube page? Yeah, what's a private? Well, it's a lay I put it on the patreon and then it's just it's unlisted So let's buy love patreon you just do whatever the fuck you want. Yeah, and stick it out there Well people will steal it off patreon anyways, but I figure if I put like the minimal amount of effort forward The people who pay for the patreon. I'll think that it's something just for now, dude. That is worth

That is worth a fucking $5 a month. It is worth $5 a month right there just to get that in my life. Holy shit Funny man. I mean, I'm glad that we didn't close up my video. I mean, this guy's second had a black screen with fucking Helvetica font. And he fucking murdered you. He literally dropped the mic at the end.

It's so funny. You know, it's so fucking, you know, it's so brilliant about it. It was how fast the letter was. It's such a psycho. We couldn't let it go. Helvet it was funnier, but it's aerial Again, the fonts are important. I say we go smoke a cigar you coming. Yeah All right, so this was a fucking guy, you know, I mean really two of my favorite people I mean you thanks for a long time you I think just this year we got. Probably. Well, since that Austin trip, that was great.

That was awesome. I was so fucking stressed out that trip. It was so nice going to get in that barbecue until you know, Michael threw it all away. Did you get a barbecue or did you go to? The him and his girl took us to one of the greatest barbecue places ever. It was just weird.

It was weird. It was very surreal town. Lockhart, Texas. Lockhart, Texas. Lockhart, Texas, but like it has two of the greatest barbecue. Three or four. Oh, is it three or four? But they're right there. Yeah. Like you better didn't go to that tourist trap shit. Oh, no, no, no, no. I mean, that could be considered a tourist trap. I mean, there's a lot of people to go down there, but I mean, any given day, you're not going to see a shit on a tourists there. We went to our second place.

They basically wanted us to leave because we went to the place. No, but you didn't wait four hours, right? No, no, yeah, there's one that like the people. Franklin's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, a lot of cards like 45 minutes outside of Austin. Yeah, it was so good. And Nick, I mean, he's fucking just, you know, he bought everything, too. And you sit like, dude, let me and he's like, because I'm

usually I usually buy But Nick was like I took you fuck you. He bought so much meat and there was around 30 dollars left of meat and Mike Mike wrapped it up and tossed it like he's like you eating this. I'm like. I'm not eating it. He's a guy cool Okay, we can tell the story that way. That's what I mean that is well how to go you tell me your first We were all sitting there who who's gonna take this? And I said, Mike, you're the only one who can take this. And I was like, I don't want it. And we, yeah, everyone basically can do consent,

so we should just throw this away. Who's everybody? All four of us. So he even him. Now he's gas sliding us. Okay, that's what I'm doing. Yes, he does. I'm not serious.

I know what would be come. Okay, fine, that's what I'm doing. Yeah, Mike. You said that matter. He's calling your fat bald idiot for hours I see throughout the bar Like that's where I draw the line Yeah, Mike you gotta I'm just where I stand up for myself Wow, who's throughout the barbecue In my really I just heard Gabby go passive aggressive. I was like, what is he doing?

I was like, that's what he's doing. Yeah, I mean, yeah, so that's what happened. What happened? So you were there. That's fine. No, nobody wanted to take the barbecue, but I mean, if nobody wanted to take the barbecue, I would have taken the barbecue.

I don't think it was one of those things for me. Where were you have taken to two? Probably back to the trail where we were staying in. Did there was a wooden piece of wood in the bed? There was. Do you want to go in a hotel? No, no, I just got an Airbnb in a trailer in a backyard.

It was nice. It was fun. It was like, it was like glamping, but it's a backyard, so it's not really, I don't know. Do you know what glamping is, have you heard that? No. It's like people that just get a trailer, it's not camping, it's just you're in a trailer

that has air conditioning and shit. You pretend like you're in a... It's high end camping, but you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you Mike was like, I threw it out. And he was like, why? There was like 30 dollars worth of meat. I'm brisket? Yeah, brisket. Yeah, brisket. Oh, fuck. Brisket is some shoulder brisket. Oh, brisket is fucking. That's sh- that shoulder there is insane. It's so good. Yeah. I'm so hungry right now. Do we want to lobarbacute when we want to lobb-

Lobb- barbecue? It's called lobarbacute. And you got to wait outside. It's an outside drop. It's the lady that works at the register. That's to La Barbecue. It's called La Barbecue. And you got to wait outside. It's an outside truck. It's the lady that works at the registry. That's her name. It's called Franklin. It was fucking nuts. Where?

It was like a truck. It was a truck. Yeah, it was like a 45 minute wait. I was there with a chemo. It was a chemo. I was there with chemoids. When we were out of South by Southwest and we waited. And it was crazy, man.

Like it was so good. When you get there, when you finally get there, they're like, oh, sorry for the wait, and they just give you a piece of meat, just a piece of meat, and it was just fucking nuts. I did that in Toronto. I went to this place. I love how you just looked and you go meat.

Because it reminded me when I was in Toronto on a barbecue joint where you sit in one of those little tiny chic places, and I was sitting at the counter in front of the butcher guy. So they would just be bringing him meat. And he liked me, I started talking to him. And he liked me and he would just throw me these hunks. He would like cut off the end of the brisky

and be like, do try that. He would just give me these hunks a meat for nothing. Dude, you know what I just discovered this year and this may be sound crazy to you guys? I just discovered, no. No. You can actually, risk it in eggs.

It puts in a man's ass instead of a vagina. Yeah, it feels similar. It's actually tighter. Your Tim Dillon does like a perfect impression of you. Yeah, I know. And he's the only person I can hear that heard, dude. And this one got Jim Delocke's, dude. No, brisk it in eggs.

Good, I can't believe it. You're impression me guy Jim Delacoste too. No, briskettin eggs. Good. You're impression me, Tarot. This is just a heightened version of you. Fuck him. What the fuck would you say, that's all? Yeah, Tim's versi is very good. Yeah, it is. I got a list now.

I could do more Norman for a while, but I can do it. Let me hear it. Yeah, well, I've been doing them lately, but it's Joe List if he hung out in bathrooms and the middle of the men in there hung out with them maybe went back to a hotel room and then they fucked It sounds like a violin salesman. Yeah, no, I'm not here to get it. Yeah, no, I sell violins, but then I you know, fuck the guys at the bottom Mostly it and he has to be gay in the impression

It doesn't work. You're directing them amazing. Oh, do you do any of them impressions? Yeah, I did already I could I can't do In your fucking sinuses That was doing the crashing Yeah, crashing. I don't really know. I was thinking, like, snicker bar. I mean, Nick, I'm gonna kick the air because our Howard was looking. That's pretty good. That's good, right?

I mean, it's not bad, but I can do it. He does it when he laughs. Yeah, yeah. I can do it better if I keep doing them. I can do it better than that. Yeah. Yeah, when it comes out, all of a sudden, it gets into my nose. And I mean, I haven't liked the bang back, he, yeah, when it comes out all of a sudden it gets into my nose and

Like I mean I haven't like the bang back. He back Like me too See me getting heroin to keep bailing maybe a stick goes bar Gabby's leaving is going out. It's gonna be famous. Oh dad is fucking Bobby guy. I saw them twice like a blown get in I saw them twice, like a blown-get-end. That's fucking great. That's not bad. That's good. That's fucking, I banged clean the fucking second.

People was getting married to that chicken fucking, I know. Yeah. That's great. That's going. Anyways, let's wrap this up. Let's go smoke stokes. Let's go through this. Where's get an egg?

Where's the last one? I'm going to do your plugs. You got to go pee. Go pee. We'll do a very, we're going to have some plugs. Are you got some plugs? Anyways, verse you got you special coming out when specials coming out comedy central November 2nd And I'm going on a big tour. I'm actually going on. I'm jumping on bill burst tour for Denver and

New England great And yeah, and then more dates are being added and tour dates of my headline shows. They're working on it right now. So check out the new Paul Verzi.com. I'll be at the fat black with you tomorrow. What's sauce box? Sauce box is a new name of a place in Westchester that I'm doing. That's amazing. Yeah. What? Yeah? It used to be a sauce box. Sauce boxes with their colon. But where is it? It's in New York. Harrison, New York.

Where is Harrison? Where is it? Westchester. Well, is it near me? It's near White Plains, not far. Oh, over. Yeah, West Harrison, Harrison. Kind of, yeah.

Yeah, it's rich. Kind of that are, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of like, I think, a private thing that I'm doing there. Sauce box? Yeah. To sauce box.

And then, yeah. But yeah, for more dates, you could check that out. But yeah, the specials, special be out. Comedy Central November 2nd. Check it out. So funny. You're doing Burr, Burr, New England. I'm doing a couple with Burr and New England. I'm going to stop and do a guest set at the end.

Do it. Yeah, after Burr, I'm going to come out. Just look what's up guys. Just going to do 10. I'm going to be great. I'd just weaken that fucking at Philly at the punchline I'm fucking you know great crowd fan show why why could you fan show it up a lot of fucking fans Patreon people can't was they showed up and it's just great great shows satin that was packed You know great and I'm doing my thing. It was a second show Saturday,

say good night, fucking like standing ovation. Back into my, I feel good about my acting. And I walk off. They were like, oh, Deon Cole wanted to go up after you and do a guest set. I'm like, what? They're like, yeah, and the host was like, I told him that he asked the management.

I don't know what's happening. I'm like, someone's going up now? Like I just, what? Yeah, you just closed. Like I'm like, someone's going up now? Like I just, what? Yeah, you just closed. Like I'm like, okay, whatever. And I walk outside and I'm like, I see Dion, I know Dion from back in the day. I guess he's on blackish or whatever.

And it's like, and uh. Did he go up? No, he didn't, because I walked off and it was too late. But it's like, who the fuck goes up? Who does a guest set after the headliner? You know what I mean? That was like, but now I got a way home. There I was like, I didn't,

hey whatever, I didn't give a fuck, but on the way home, I'm like, I would have to wait to do like a meet and greet till you're done to say goodbye to my fucking fans. Right, right. When your fans come out and at your headline thing for somebody to come in and ask to go on after you is definitely not.

Yeah, do you make it like a Tuesday? Because like you said, you got to meet and greet people probably want pictures. People want something to sign and now they're just waiting for somebody else that they didn't know what to be there. Well, you can fusing them because they came to see me and now there's, you know, you're up. I mean, if it was looking if it was Martin Lawrence, I guess they'd be like flip out. You know, I mean, I mean, Deon Culley. But I guess but they'd be like flip out. You know, I mean, I mean, Deon Culley's. But I guess what should go before you? Well, I was a little weird.

I was a little, like it didn't bother me then, but on the way home, I was like, what the fuck, wait a minute. That was some kind of, you know, that was, I don't know if that was a fucking legit move, you know? Yeah, yeah. That was not that legit. And don't even it tell me, right? Like to go up to the host and, you know,

but it didn't happen. Oh God, head beans. Oh my know, but it didn't happen. Oh God, headbeans. Oh my God. I think I felt that. Did you? Something I can't have beans anymore. Just that. Oh, what do you got besides fucking everything? What to plug? Yeah, you got nothing.

Yeah, I guess we're in Australia. Who's we? Me and Staben Adam. Come town boys. Yeah. When? October 21st through 27th or something. When do I get to come on? You can always come on.

You just gotta come to Bed-Stuy. Yeah, I really do. But you can't just show up. I gotta know, like, hey guys, we want you on this show. Yeah, I mean, you know what? Stob would actually be the best to coordinate that with. Why? You just fucking pawn me off. No, I'm just bad at like scheduling shit

Isn't it your podcast sure, but I do the guy who does everything. No, I'm the ghost. I'm the money guy You tell me what a piece of shit scutstar as you can't do it his teeth have fallen out Yeah, a lot his foot is dead. Well, I don't like doing Calenders that's not my thing. I'll make sure that we get the money from people. Right. And then stov handles all of the secretary bullshit. You can do the calendars. You can handle all the stationary and answering the phone. You're such a macho man. You really? Yeah. Yeah. In comparison to my affet friends and the one that's like eaten his way out of any kind of testosterone. I think I wanted to do your girls too.

What do you, your girl does it with who? Karen Margolis. Yeah, I think I'm going to do that too. You know Karen, right? I do. I do. All right, well, fuck it. Australia, I don't know what the fuck.

We have some fans. Yeah, you don't give a fuck. Good feel. That's why I love you. You got to come up for a weekend. I'm going to do a Sunday dinner. Let's do it, man. You know, everybody come up. Let's get some full projects going.

I do want to build something. Yeah. I want to build. You want to fire, please? I have an inside. Yeah, inside. I have one outside, but it's called the Solo Stove Bond Fire. But I want to build, and it's awesome. It's called the solo stove Bonfire, but I want to build and it's awesome. It's great

It's just and as holes in the top holes in the bottom and it has this airflow that comes in and goes down And it just burns the wood like a fucking like a body. It's just a nothing left Right except ash, but I want to build something around it in stone so that I could put it in it and then have a cover for it. Do you understand me? So when it rains, I just put that when I'm done, put the metal cover on, it's fucking out. I don't have to worry about the rain and it doesn't get.

So think about that. But I want it to be rock on the outside. So it would be rock. So it would look like a rock fire pit, but inside I could take that thing in and out. You know what I'm saying? Okay. I'll show you my design I'll draw it. So you want some rocks in a circle. I want rocks in a circle, but I want a lid for the top Or you want to make it lid bingo? Why yeah, I would have no idea how to do that little lid. I don't know. I thought you were the guy

No, yeah, I can't do metal work. I don be wood. Make a wood lid for something. Like a... Let's talk about it. Very anticlimactic right now. Oh, I'm sorry. That's all right. You should've ended on the already thing. That was great. Yeah, shouldn't.

No, we're not in. I don't, I don't, look, I don't end shit. Sometimes it's fucking funny. And sometimes we end anticlimactic. Mike, what are your dates? I don't have any, but your dates. What about, what, what, what, what, what, like go last, hang on. Gabby, what do you got? I don't have any, but your dates. What do I, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, go last, hang on.

Gabby, what do you got? Nothing to move in the LA. Oh my God. You know where you're gonna live in LA? Echo Park. We got this for you. Me and Mike. Oh God, that is it.

We got this for you. Thank you for being part of the show. You're still gonna be part of the show, right? Yeah. It's a packet of peanut aminams. No, it's Oreos, because they're vegan. Oh, all right. Did you know Oreos of vegan?

Did you know that? Yeah, did you know that? Did you know that? So if you have ever vegan, you want to be a snack. I love the wrapping. I got you this too. We got you this. Thank you so much.

Oh, I love this. I'm gonna leave all the time. Well, you're gonna leave once. You never get anything in your pocket. No, I'll come back and leave for the presents for sure. This is why you asked me if I had these. Yeah. Fuck yeah.

So thank you for that. Oh, those are great. That's the only good thing Apple makes. That's great. You like those? Yeah, these are amazing. You're gonna love them. Oh my God, thank you so much.

Thank you for being part of the show and helping us out. I love you. On everything you've helped me out on live from a shed, you help us on the show, you're deduces to Gabby and a bunch of other people You're still gonna be involved. I mean Becky your Gabby But you're still gonna be involved in the show, but you know you're really a big part of the show You're definitely gonna be missed we're all gonna miss you. Meza

Thanks buddy and Mike right Mike. Yep, and then Doesn't mean that at all he does he loves you He just it's hard to show he's killed people He's killed with you. Yeah, he's killed hookers. So I'm really gonna miss you Gabby This has been great if they I would not have been able to do this job without you. Oh, thanks, buddy Touching that fucking made me cry a little bit cry now cry more. Okay Zach you have any things? No, about Gabby, you fucking robot. Wow.

I mean that. Did you have fun? Thank you, buddy. Thanks for me. What do you think about me? Oh, you're great. Cool. Cool. Thank you. Oscar, thank you for coming in. It do you think about me? Oh, you're great. Cool. Cool. Cool. Thank you. Oscar, thank you for coming in. It was good to see you. Are you okay? Okay, great. Becky, so you're gonna be hanging out with us. Yeah, I'm so hex. Thank you so much. Thank you for that camera advice, too. Yeah, you're so you're so hexed. No, I didn't say hex. I'm so happy. He said hexed. Well, whatever I'm hexed. They've shut they're not listening anymore.

Anyway, let's I should do my dates in the middle from now on. I think we should do dates in the middle in general, but yes. Oh, well, thanks to telling me 500 episodes in. I will talk after the show. I Hi, when I do my date you fucking what? I say that

Jesus you leave me back Where my mother fuck tomorrow night family pussy cat I'm most great fact book was good tomorrow. Are you doing that no you're not time versus doing it? Yeah, I'm doing right? just get tomorrow. Are you doing that? No, you're not. Versus doing it. Yeah, I'm doing right. I'm hosting. Sal is opening. Sal. The con. The con. Yes, opening. And then Joe list is going up. Oh, so fun. And then Versus going up. A vice versa. Okay.

And then I show up at around nine 20. Because I'm doing that gig out in, in, for syndicate, yeah, Hoboken. No, we all. So I'll be in for that. And then rumors this week in Winnipeg. I've never been there. I heard great things about it. Winnipeg is a fucking weird city. Everything's underground. It's cold as shit. They literally have a city under the ground. It gets so cold to Winnipeg. So, I mean, you go to the hotel, you go, you want to get coffee, you

don't walk the streets, you go to the basement and hit this weird underground mall that's under the whole fucking city. Wow. Yeah, it's really cool and creepy at the same time, but I'm excited to go there. And then Tampa, Calta fucking cruise. I'm going on a cruise with birdcrasher and Mike Calta. And then I do the Tampa size putters with. Let me tell this.

Me and featured for me is Lewis J. Gomez, but he's with, let me tell this, me and featured for me is Lewis Jay Gomez, but he has Thursday night, he's headlining and Sunday night, he's headlining, but he's featuring you see both of us on Friday and Saturday, I believe. Is that correct? Yes. Friday, Saturday, you can see both of us. So go see him headline and come see us do the show together. It's going to be awesome.

Go to robberkillelive.com for all my shit. Go to patreon.com. That's Robert Kelly. We got the one on ones up there. We get the live from the shed. We just shot two new episodes. No, the owner of the comedy seller is up there right now. And how'd you like that episode, Clint? I haven't watched you yet. What the fuck? No, I'm kidding. And then we got a bunch of shit going on there. So support that. Go to fucking Patreon and join. Stop. There's people still at Lipson paying money at Lipson.

I don't do that anymore. If you're a fan of this podcast, go to patreon.com slash rubbercali and join. Become a, it's a $5. It's a cup of coffee. It's a latte. It's not a cup of coffee. It's a latte. It's an exotic cup of coffee. It's a latte. It's an exotic cup of coffee But just I love Nick just found that funny. He went

That's it. Robert kill live com will see you next time. You know what dude You've been listening to the YKWD podcast Thanks for listening Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Checkoutrightcast.com for all the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free.

And they're all free. Starlight. Starlight. Starlight. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, mornumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desperan. ¡Fui, parás! Vuelades de Madrid, a Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea.

Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. de 19 euros. Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com.