Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Fifty Shades of Jizz

Episode Date: September 10, 2012

Lenny Marcus and Big Jay Oakerson sit in on YKWD. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un duvena que de Maú, a Madrid. You can write it for the guys.

Hi, this is Letty Marcus, you're listening to The You Know What Dude podcast with Robert Kelly on Riotcast.com. Hey everybody, it's Monster Voice from Shut Up Lewis. Shut Up Lewis! Bobby Kelly is going to be at West Nyak at Levity Live, the 13th, 14th and 15th. I'm going to be there, opening for Bobby. So you should come, get a little double dip. And then he's going to be at the Lafout Loud Comedy Club in San Antonio, Texas, starting September 20th through the 23rd. So go see Bobby Kelly live and listen to the you know what did podcast on riotcast.com

Hey gang this is Colin Quinn. This is Jim Norton. This is Dennis Leroy. This is Opie from a lot of things. This is Bert Cricer. Stay cooking, you are listening to Robert Kelly's, you know what dude? You know what dude? You know what dude? This is Robert Kelly's, you know what dude? You know what we need? You know what we need?

You know what we need? Alright man, we are here with episode fucking yeah. Um, I hate people count their episodes. This episode, like, it's 770. Stop it. Whatever it is, it's not. Well, I don't mind that. Here's a deal. When you do that for the first 100, fine.

Right. But at some point, you have to come up with a name. You can't say, hey guys, thanks for listening. This is episode three thousand and seventy eight. I think it's, I think it's the ridiculous that a UFC UFC does that still. They because they have no choice because they went to names. Yeah. And it was terrible. Jimmy. It was all. Yeah.

The fucking punching. Whatever the fuck they had. Hammer fisting. Italian. The wrestling one. Remember they used to have what's the big wrestling one? WrestleMania. Yes. WrestleMania.

WrestleMania 45,000. Well, but it's WrestleMania. Oh, so you can one a year as long as you can do Yeah, there's one a year and it has WrestleMania in front of it. You can do that We're still super bowl. You know super balls always numbered. Yeah, but you exactly so we're super bowl one a year But UFC's got like event every month every other month Yeah, it's fucking stupid. Keep numbering them as ridiculous. They're gonna have to and you have see Just can you explain that what is to Lenny? Who's it? You guys fight in the cage. Yeah, who's big now the iron cheek? Yes Everybody

There's Lenny Marcus a good friend of mine very funny funny motherfucker. I've known for years Yes, and we actually became friends in the last year. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I love, you have voice cracked on that one. You can get me every time. It's Taylor just went between things. And they... And of course, you can hear her sweet little voice. Yeah, the cacco you mean.

The Kelly, the Kelly. Don't give yourself nicknames. That's my job. Kelly Fistuke is here. He here that I can just turn to a fucking Boston guy. Boston fucking toilet. I lost a water. I'm in Kelly Fistuke. Come to meet Robert Kelly. Head. No kidding. I wish that was the case. I wish I wish fuck. That's not no fence. Really? What you hate when a mediocre girl actually says you're a mediocre and you can't say that back.

Talk about passive aggressive. That was aggressive. I was out with it. I'm sorry. There's nothing thinks I'm a nothing. It is it's the worst in the world when a chick. And I'm not talking about you. That's a bad thing about swing you swing low as I have been on the deal in my life time And that girls like what do you think I am?

I thought the girl that would definitely say yes Cuz you're a two and a half. Yeah, it's three in the morning and we're in Cleveland You're eating mac and cheese and two in the morning that you brought I don't think I've ever hit on a legitimate one But it's been really now, but it's been teetering on where people are like all right, dude What if this one says yes? One or drink three dude. I had a legitimate one. Yeah, yeah Fucking mountains

Me and my friend Jamie this guy is like Italian mom. You're young Yeah, young, but he this guy was little Cadillac Fucking mobbed out fucking Italian guy tan good-looking shredded, you know We went up to I took him up to the mountains. He was one. No, he was gorgeous. He was an 11 Okay, okay, and I was at this time. I was probably a fucking solid eight. This was Bob Kelly in Boston So this is you know, I wasn't I wasn't my best. I've been a nine. I believe I made your fantastic. Yeah, so so we went up to the woods and we went up and we picked up these two fucking hillbilly woodbitches Like just walking the streets and they were legit one was a

fucking four but retarded literally like literally mentally retarded like not not wait not like like she doesn't get checks and doesn't live in a house but she was a dummy human being like you would say hey do you want to yeah exactly Yeah, that is straight jack Like you be literally could take your dick out and go suck this okay Stop sucking it okay Suck nine dicks. Okay Oh, yeah, I'm supposed to do When I was when I was

So anyways, I'm not hanging on let me finish this. No, it's alright because I know the story is gonna I'm gonna trigger your shit. Oh, yeah, you're just such a piece of shit. Oh, yeah, I mean Jay could do this all night But we so her friend was a legitimate one so of course he got the four because he was awake He was better looking than me. I got the one in the back seat It was just fooling around they were touching our junk. And then she's like, mine was like a woods bitch, like a fucking hill, but she goes, I wanna fuck. And like scared me. She pulled out a condom, a magnum to it.

I wanna make fuck. She goes, so my friend Jamie turns around and goes, dude, fucking do it, man, let's do it, let's fuck. He goes, fucking do it man, let's do it. Let's fuck. He goes, who gives you shit? Let's do it. I was like, okay, because I'm such a fucking wannabe. I just want to be liked by my friends. And I put the column, I stopped fucking this, but all of a sudden he turns the car in the back seat of his car. He turns the interior light on and he turns around, I just see his face and his eyes a lit up and he's smile and he goes dude You fucking her I was fucking joking He goes what's wrong with you?

Right while the other girl was sitting there, too while I was fucking her when while the four was while the four was in there Yeah, I jumped off. I was like you fucking joking because yeah, you fucking people pleaser There's nothing people pleasing about your reaction to it though because then she was sitting there and realized she was only getting fucked Cuz you were doing it cuz your buddy was I made a real shitty about it Which one we saw the story with she was semi retarded. Oh, she was really She was you know just dumb. I should just say dumb Yeah, would dumb. Yeah, she got pulled out of school to fucking plow the potato field Fucking 11 from the ham radio in case the invasion ever came

I need that fucking milk done today girl When I when I was a late teenager I love the menu the beginning of all our stories We set them up with late teenager years ago far far away land You take your relationship and always mock it back to a year before that it's very mystical to this happens this happened in Alaska for seven but eight years ago it goes to Alaska last week for the first time yeah well you know the first time the last it's funny to say it happened in Alaska Alaska the fucking the city the city

the city No this did X I was living my mom's house, right and in the neighborhood we came across this girl who Sadly enough we really just called her the fact girl, which I I hope guilt on that that was not nice because that's what they call me and you know. Oh yeah. Oh no. I even believe in it. It's funny. My this girl called me the fat dude. And you know, you like how I put my you like how I put myself in that joke? Because I didn't want to ricochet him back at me. So we used to go we found out pretty quick that if you just went over there at night, she was she nannyed for a family and they let her live in like this bait like a finished basement apartment, but it had its own entrance. And you can knock on that door at like two three in the morning Everyone's sleeping you can wake her up and roll in with

Three to five of your closest friends three to five and she will blow Everyone she would fuck she would she would fuck or Whatever everybody wanted to do she would just do it and First of all can I say really just a digress it? This fucking new photographer dude is the best. He's standing on a fucking chair right now. Well that's awesome. No guys have ever done that in here.

He's like I'm getting the shot motherfucker. I'm gonna see him hanging in his head. What a dolly. God. She used to blow everyone. Then we actually found one day is a sad thing we find a composition book where she wrote like a a giz taste rating calm on yeah all my life where it's this that gross bobby out so much he did

he grabbed and did not grab the phone that you you got the wrong expression dude I did a motion dude I got so excited about that book Yeah, I wanted to read it. I want it. Where is it? How much money we can make off a fucking 10-year giz-tasting book? Oh 50 shades of giz Yeah That's the name of the podcast Right that down right that down so she's a but then like she was awful looking she was a

Real fat with really tiny titties, but very confident about it so much so that one day she goes hey my friend She's only had sex like two times before but she really wants to fuck again. She asked me if I would do it She goes now because she's cool as shit, but I mean, you know She's not very good looking like and I was and this is a really awful girl saying this and Is maybe the creepiest thing I may have ever done I knocked on the door the day she was said she was there her friend. Yeah, I walked in it looked like just the Quote unquote Fakaro was there on the couch. Yeah, and I go. Oh, I thought your friend was like and she goes Behind the couch they grow just laying with their pants off behind the couch and I went and fucking did it.

And then just left. In Quentin Tarantino's new movie, it was hilarious. So I was young enough that like fucking was still pretty exciting to me. So what I did was I have a conscience and I feel kind of bad. So let's get out get carried away about your conscience. Semicons. Yes, I have a conscience and So what I did was I got her number from the fat girl and I said Let me I'll hang out with her one-time maker field. That wasn't so shitty

So I pick her up I saw her in the daylight in real light She was ten times worse looking than I thought I go to pick her up in her house and her father is doing the cleaning a gun where you take him a little girl out and I'm like I'll just leave her here like honestly that we're like I don't even really need to take her but I said I would so she comes and hangs out for the day and all I bring her my friends like a dummy and everyone's like laughing like behind her back right and then I remember we were playing basketball and she was watching us play basketball not her she was watching me and my friends play basketball just sitting in the dirt and we are not making. And she was watching us play basketball. Not her, she was watching me and my friends play basketball.

Just sitting in the dirt, and we were all making drawings. So it was like, young, and he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, Call you a duck she got a cat and she brought it back to you cuz she likes you Nothing where there knows the teacher. It's a bad thing. No, that's bad But one of the most awkward things I ever had I didn't have to do it I guess but one of the most awkward things I did was fucking Sitting there if we had this basketball game we got into it with the guys we were playing against and they left and They didn't know they didn't think she was my girlfriend I think these guys we didn't know these guys but as they left you like fuck you fact fuck you facts now fat ass gross ass bitch

You hanging out with that grunt and it's shitting all over her And my friends looking at me like a man should you say something? I'm like what are they other talking us? Like did that move? Oh really? Oh, they're talking I didn't realize know I was ever talking. Oh, you did that shit. Oh, yeah I was gonna go get an office fight for some fucking. I mean legitimate one. So maybe that was legitimate one awful 38 18 Lenny here's the thing that blows me away Jay. There are people out there like Lenny

Here's the thing that blows me away Jay. There are people out there like Lenny, who's never had, you've never been blown in front of one of your friends. No. You've never done a train. No. You've never watched a guy get blown. No.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I was thinking of a couple of bachelor parties I had to attend, but no, I don't think I got that one. Even the term you had, you had to attend, you wouldn't want to go. I don't think I got that one even the term you had you had to attend you wouldn't want to go I don't I feel bad for the girls what oh bad Do you feel that Jay I said drive them chicks around that they're all fucking wrecked. They're all mess They're always like trying to get their kids back from social care and shit Yeah, they're all trying to get their fucking real estate real real estate license I'm gonna sell houses I still go on a cell houses you fucking don't think the hand jobs

I've gone from Asian prostitutes have probably garnered them 17 cents total but I've gone several times let me ask you question like you've never look at me look at you I hear you you're sexual can you count how many girls you've been with on what? Can you use your dick to count on me? I have more than you think I'm thumps either in actual dicks. How many how many girls? 20 20 yeah, that's not bad We got lies up. What do you mean? So I have a book on how they taste it That's not bad. Every guy lies up. What do you mean? No, no. No, no. Thanks.

So I have a book on how they taste it. Last screen responsibility. Really belly-flavors. So you've had 20 girls you know the 20, and you know them. Yeah. You've never had a one-night stand. Yes, I have. One.

One. Probably one. Jay, now can you make the same claim one? What do I win? If I ask Jay if he was gay are you gay gay? Yes, I Have sucked a guy off, but I'm not gay. I don't want to have you Like a clan around we're clin around with each other's cocks

Um Just gain just fucking so so So you've never done anything crazy either you've you've I mean you've had just I'm not saying this to be a Dick you like missionary like okay, lick sock fuck. Yes, that's it like a like one of the classy lady chattily pornos, but who's right? But who's the you know what I mean? The Harley Quinn, no, yeah, the Harley Quinn pornos with,

you know, he comes, and he kisses and he gets a tit and he looks a pussy that she sucks of dick and then they make love. And then they lie there. You're a person with those fake pubic hair wigs to fucking the one bad. A merchant. A merchant. You know, it was one of those fake pubic hair wigs to fucking. This is that bad? A mercant. There you go.

I know, yes. Well, no, is it? Now, that, are you saying that, are you asking a U-band for being that? Yes. No, absolutely, no. I don't, I don't, I didn't. I think I might know when he's one night stand.

I wouldn't say it by think I might know you when I do. I possibly. I don't know. I don't think so. Wow, that's the worst thing What's the like what's the story in the Becky mine like guys? Oh shit no one is ever gonna find out about that Okay, I don't know I'm gonna open book. I would tell you if there was anything weird you never got your butt lit

By accident no, I've had a few women would like talk a good game that that was going to happen, but then they always That's funny. I've been with like great like I got some great tech messages and then not I'm like okay Let's see with that and then now so you so wait a minute So you had a text message you had it running text message with a girl That was like let's I'm gonna try I'm gonna lick you dick. I'm gonna suck your ass and you're like all right Let's do this and then they chicken out. It never comes to that. Well, do you fucking whip your legs behind your head and spread your ass open and go-

You're gonna present. Yeah, you're gonna- Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I put notes on my thighs. You said- Your asshole's not ready. Is it the argument? You said you were gonna- I've told that story before on the show that I had a porn star in Kansas City we were just talking and she was like, I'm gonna fuck it at your ass. I was like, you'll eat, man.

She goes, I'll lick your asshole. I'll fuck your ass with my tongue. I'll fucking suck it. I'll do it. I went home back. I go, okay, I'm gonna go back because they would drink doing coke and drinking and I don't drink or do drugs cause I'm a good person.

And I ran back to the hotel, I washed my ass, I shaved a little, a little, hey, I made it nice and neat and I'm waiting and then like an hour went by so I then I washed my ass again cause it got hot and I wanted it to be real. And then I washed my ass like six times, she never showed. It was just me. I was with a face cloth and some soap, scrub it.

And then I had another face cloth. I had another face cloth, yeah. But after a while it was nothing in there, it was just perfect. So I just kept washing it, it's probably six or seven times. And then I fell asleep just alone with my pants off with a clean asshole on my belly,

waiting for this chick that never came. So sad. She'd show up. That's easy. Fuck, dude. Yeah, did you, did you a finger your own ass me a jerk off that night because you prepared someone? Nah, a finger on my own ass doesn't do it for me.

I tried it once twice when I was a kid. I think I put a pen at my ass once. God damn. Like a dick. Yeah, and then I put it, and then shame, I put it, I put it between the wall and my bed, just in hope no one ever would would ever smell it or find it I don't know I don't know what the evidence back but that big pens are expensive

I felt yeah, whatever needed a big I'm not in the walls and all the good you stick a big pen with a cap or no cap no cap no cap no cap No cap and the back end back end that just sounds like a child fucking incident when you yeah forgot to take the cap off and that fell off And it was the pointy one sad on Where the ink was gonna run so you've never was not why cuz it's so smell I'm sticking a pen if the pen if the pen went around it would have ran out the from the ball though I put the back end you don't push the I Although she's stuck to I put the back end you don't push the I

I thought out you all thought out like hey, I know how to fucking She's never had like forget like a time you had a finger up your ass like a thousand times You just ask me that yeah, right? Yeah, so that you make a face of that though. That's not even I mean I've had people try I don't I don't get turned on by that I had a girl But you don't know if you get turned no, I've had people reach for that. I had a girl I don't let him get by that. But you don't know if you get turned on. No, I've had people reach for that. And you just went, hey? I had a girl. I don't let him get in there. Listen to me, I had a girl on Facebook thank me for teaching her about Asplay.

Like I taught her. Now she's into bondage and getting spanked in public. She was like, I helped her in her career. It's for you, Bobby. With my asshole. There should be a your welcome testimonial to every guy she does it to. Yeah. Get a little car with Bobby kill him thumbs up

I should have a plaque making dreams happen. It's good. Well, yeah, here's a deal though You've I mean you've you've never done your you've never touched your own but hole Like clean it. What do you mean? How do you clean it? What do you like it weekly? I? Clean two knuckles on my pointer finger every day. What do you mean? That's how deep into my asshole Is clean every day we I take a show you stick your finger in your asshole. Yeah Wow, why you don't need to do that you never know when Remember the camera guy shaking his head. He stopped taking photos to agree with you wait a minute Can you please jump on that mic sir? You never know?

on that mic sir you never know when you're gonna ask hang on what's your name? Sloan Rollins. Sloan Rollins. And why are you saying why are you saying why are you nodding your head yes overall. I've never heard anything like that I'm a gay man and I respect that and I would never even begin to think to do that again.

You're just a gay man respecting another straight man saying his fingernails asked to. I'll take I'll take hygiene and sexuality Kudos from a gay man absolutely. Well, here's the deal when you You haven't seen his gone away His finger is actually bigger than his cock so you'd be unimpressed very quickly It's at least two fingers Sit up to the knuckle. Well, let me ask you question No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Is it awesome? Oh, I learned how to open my asshole like a dolphin fucking blowhole

Oh, you make it do the the puck or anything I can I can control it so it can open up and get in there And then and literally you know they used to mine for gold They used to just spray water on the side of a fucking mountain. Yeah, I do that with my asshole I just like hunks a shit just get sprained Like gold mining You've got to ask you a question as a gay man? Not that I knew you were gay when you walked in Why are you laughing come on?

I didn't know is gay Jipsy T-shirt what the fuck how much? Well, is that a fun lapone jib now we know now it comes out how the fuck do you know you gay man 20 jibs 20 jibs I like gypsy sacrifices sacrositin and the back row I fucking live with a gay lesbian comic when I was trying to make it What was it again?

Banner dump till you're dead So listen the fact that I know the lyrics to the song I'm blue me way too Thank you And you're dead. Yep, so listen, the fact that I know the lyrics to the song. I blew me away too. Thank you. And you're going to show this as pride. Yeah. You both beckon me, nervous. With a fist holding a lightning card.

Oh, yeah. In fact, I was shocked when you began to speak of a wife. Oh, you thought I was gay. No, not really, but with the pride t-shirt, I was kind of... Oh, shit. I would love for it. It's ironically a vicious fighting organization where face-stopping is allowed.

Well, because gay guys I mean gay dar is a real thing With you guys. I mean you guys are like I know this guy's gay and you're wrong a lot of the time I have to say that really I know gay guys. I know a lot of gay guys that are like he's gay. He's gay He's gay gay guys like to think that everybody's fucking gay Do you think I'm gay because it's two nuckles in my ass? No,'t know i don't that's why i'm so that's why i'm not gay the idea that you would finger your own athel daily and not be gay is shocking to me well here's a deal i think you can do gay shit and not be gay

how gay suck a cock but while while giggling and high five i think you're a different i talk about football and it's be yes No, okay random guy is gay. It's not because I think that he accepts that he's gay I know he does gay shit like what's gay shit to you? So I can cock and high-fiving his boys I will say that's gay. Are you sure? I think if a dick gets in your mouth and

Purpose yeah, no, I make I'm about what about an accident? Yeah, if it gets in your mouth and on purpose? Yeah, pretty gay. What about an accident? What if it slips in your mouth? Just fall over. What if you're taking, what if you're going, you're peeing, singing down in a stall? And there's a hole in the wall. It's a glory hole. And I fall asleep with my mouth on the hole.

And a guy on the other eye slips. His cock goes through the hole in my mouth. And then he says to me, if you don't suck my cock I'll die That's very common So that means you wake up and then suck is this right? Yeah, but I have to because people will die. Yeah, okay. It's Bruce Willis on the other and he says people will die You know, so he's already hands him You know, it's funny you made such an extreme you you made such an extreme, you made such an extreme,

you made such an extreme example of that, Bob, and that's die hard six. Ha ha ha. You made an extreme example that I think is actually, I've changed my mind almost on what I've said, because I've said before, I was talking to Thomas Dale, who's a gay comic for about that,

about using it straight guys to suck his dick, I go well then they're not straight. If they're sucking your dick to not straight, they're called straight eights, however straight they're called straight eights however called straight eights I don't know that term straight eights yeah I I live with so many gay people my whole buildings gay you know I'm good friends with a lot of gay people and I this comes up in the elevator conversation I look at dude the gay life is interest the fuck out of me because they live like fucking vampires man

they had a we we make them live like fucking vampires man. They had a we make them live like fucking vampires. Watch true blood. That's fucking gay people. They're talking about that's black people in the fucking the 20s. I mean they're they had to come up with codes and places and things. They're catching guys. There's certain rest stops and bushes and areas where guys go to meet other guys to have sex because they can't just go here or there to fucking meet people

like we can. I feel like that's regional. That's universal. That's universal. That's J-Date. In New York, in New York you can't go meet a gay guy at a fucking tour restaurant. Where's the thing? Because we were relegated to that sort of behavior for all of history.

Right. We came to think of sex as a naughty thing. Yeah. And you, and sneaking around and you have to go to these certain places and do these certain things. And then you, after doing that, you begin to associate that with sex. Yeah. So then it turns you on.

Right. So why you want to go to a gay bar and pick somebody up and you can go out to the Stanley and now, now think of your sex issues that you have and that I have. Right. So why you want to go to a gay bar and pick somebody up when you can go out to the sali and now think of your sex issues that you have and that I have. Sure. And there you go. Because when we were brought up, sex was dirty. We had to go to massage parlors and we had to fuck, you know, I have that thing in my act.

It's like, you know, women, you give, we have a shit because we're, we're perverts and we just suck my dick and we're kind of aggressive and women have brought up with a prince fights a dragon to get at the princess's pussy. You know what I mean? And we're brought up, but we're brought up with, we see a videotape of one chick crying sucking nine gauks and we're like, that's what you do, that's what you do.

And then we meet a chicken, that's what we try to do. We imitate that. And then we, you know, all this fucked up shit that we learned So we don't learn from a dad or a mom or no, yeah, you learn from we don't yeah, they learn from generation all indefinitely Yeah, I mean You had everything though also there's also a lot of it's fueled by like you grew up like you know You said you were a very in shape like fucking like you got chicks like young and you did well with girls Like I didn't so I I did a lot of like

You got chicks like young and you did well with girls like I didn't so I did a lot of like If I was going to like Asian like whore houses like guys because I wasn't getting hit but I was doing that and Fucking chicks went up to the one in the four story just told told no I had wasn't about yeah, but they're I'm gonna say they're grow but if I'd be like hey I wanted to get yeah, but I want to get jerked off by a hot Asian chick dude our psyche is the same even because I've been fat I've been like I'm fat now. I've been in shape and I've been fat, you know what I mean? So we're we have the same psyche sexually like he's saying it has to be dirty It has to be sneaky. We associate sex with bad fucked up weird shit And that's what turned you on and sometimes you you can't come home for that

When you when somebody pisses on you, however you get there, right? You might not be able to come home from that. It would, you know what I mean? That might be, I can't fuck it. And then you get married to a chick that doesn't even know that you're a thing, then you're fucked. Because now, unless you say to her, baby,

I need you to piss on me, you're gonna go pay for somebody to, some chick to piss on you. You know what I mean? That's the secret baby, I need you to piss on me. You're gonna go pay for somebody to some, some chick to piss on you. You know what I mean? That's the secret shit I think you're talking about. Did you see that documentary, the Beyond the Man? Pissing on fucking your husband? Yeah.

No, you see that Beyond the Man that are wrestling documentary years ago with Jake the Sting. Robert. I did. And he had that great Lonnie said that. He goes when he said, talk about his divorce, he goes, you go on the road, and then you know, you're bringing like two girls home a night. Then you start having them just hook up

because at this point you just want to watch. That's what gets you off. And then you start to increase your end dirty or shit. And by the time you come home, and you try to just have like loving sex with your wife, it's just not, you need like, how's this, how's this, he's in group shit.

We went to Brazil the second time, the first time, boom, then there was a third time, and then Patrice the third time, just brought a bag of dildos. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Doth Dilda. Yeah, so you know sand Yeah, it's like I've done it. Absolutely. You know, it's like I've done it. I was look I had to I had to become in Brazil I had to become like I pretended I was a spy on a mission. That's how fucking How about how about just how about just how about just on a rudimentary level. What would you rather watch a live section?

Would you rather see a live sex show? Would you rather see a donkey show? I'd rather see a donkey. That seems as far out. I would need to see the more far out thing. You know why that would turn me on is because of that pig doing it. Oh yeah, that girl who actually...

Let's hit that happen too. Would let a donkey dick suck a donkey dick off. It's like, does that turn me on? Now, here's the thing too. You can come home, it's hard to, because I always thought you couldn't, but you can come home if you desensitize yourself. Well that's my question.

How do you do this? You got to not, I look at, I'm trying to have a baby, so this is what's weird. We were supposed to have this friend of mine on, Kathy, she's trying to have a kid, and we're gonna to do a show. Oh, think about this. I forgot Jay's going to be here.

So it's going to turn into sucking cogn and sticking fingers in your ass. Yeah. All right. But here's a deal. This is going to be recorded. You can actually, you can, I stopped watching porn. And I didn't masturbate for three weeks.

Recently. Yeah, because I'm trying to have a baby. But what did you say? I said, oh, I've been trying that for 10 weeks. Recently. Yeah, because I'm trying to have a baby, but what did you say? I said, oh, I've been trying that for 10 years. What? Why would you say that? Because that's a long time. Really?

Yeah, that's good. That's good self-control. Fantastic self-control. It's fucking amazing. Well, here's a deal. Well, not three weeks, not a long time. If I miss a day, I'm aware of it. I didn't do it for two weeks.

No porn, nothing for two weeks. And by that, like, end of the two weeks, I was gonna, like, murder someone. Even if you're fucking dooring it, yeah? Well, here's the deal. Is, even if you're having sex like dooring it, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, nothing. No, nothing.

No sex. You were trying to store up. I'm storing up, and I'm fucking, I'm away on the road. What is? What is? Like, how do you, I keep going? How do you fun?

Okay, so here's a deal I was your wife now when well I was on the road. I was away And I knew that she was gonna be ovulating in a certain time So I'm gonna fucking wait I'm not gonna watch porn because I wanted to try to make a connection when I was fucking banging my wife to have a baby I wanted to know that if it did happen that I was trying I was actually looking connecting and right there in the moment which is hard to do now because I'm such a fucking nut sexually to look down and see a woman that I love and just it takes a lot. Number

one, when I when I did have sex it was I was actually way more connected because I was horny. I haven't seen my wife in three way more connected because I was horny. I haven't seen my wife in three weeks. Seeing her naked was like, fuck you, let's get this. So I was aggressive with her like I am in my head with other women or I was in the past. So I could actually be that dirt ball that I am with my wife. She actually liked it, which was good. She said, I'll want to which fucking took my boner away.

There's nothing worse than, you fucking what fucking chick from Jersey fucking you know fucking just fucking our ass all you eating my shit you never heard how I just said yeah you fucking bag it do it more do it more I remember I slipped until the chick's you see. My ass, I go, yeah, eat that pussy. It's you, excuse me. I'm gonna have to throw that story. It's the story. It's the story. I'm gonna have to give it a secret hearing that story.

So here's a deal. So it does, it does work. Cause when I looked at porn after like a few days, we thought, you know, blah, blah, blah, she was obviously, we were supposed to have the baby. I went back to porn and I couldn't watch the forest shit that I like, I like forest. I couldn't watch some of the fucking weird shit

that I kinda like. I couldn't watch it. I actually got into a scenario. Yeah, passion. And an old school, well, I'm not a fucking asshole. Passion, just a passion. Yeah, that's interesting. That's not meant to. That's interesting. I know, can I just say something asshole. Passion. You say passion. Yeah. That's not

into it. I know. I know. Can I just say something though? I actually know what she's saying. Yeah. It's passion. It's like, you know, like watching porn. They actually make out. Yeah. And they're like, they come together and it's like a, I, it sounds like, but then on the other spectrum, it depends on feeling all like the, you know, the four stuff as well. It's the same part of the hypocrisy though has Me with porn very specifically. I've had Now that my daughter is like she's almost 10 years old I'm like a functioning little girl and she's getting like you know, she's developing boobs and she's going to fifth grade

And like you see what's gonna start happening and she's on the phone. You see her you're pre-teen years coming on Now I can't watch I have a hard time. Child porn. No, yeah. Take it a pass. I know what and if anybody so I'm saying if anybody here wants it I'm getting rid of a box. I just want to. From my door I know I'm a child porn.

I'm done. It only took 10 years. You know what? Yeah. Now I realize not cool. No, you know what it is? I can't watch. No, you know what it is. I I can't watch no other the opposite. I can't watch Probe and I can't watch professional Produced porn anymore because I know those girls are all fucking drug fucked up

You see somebody documentaries and behind the scenes There's a great documentary called hard core that will make you never want to watch pro porn. What is that again? Hardcore? It's where is it? I found it online. Is it on Netflix? Probably. Yes. It's vicious. Okay. It's a show that I'm actually. I'm actually the guy Max Hardcore. Yeah. Like what's the worst that she has? I she I finally got her fucking internet. Well, they bring a girl. She's the worst. They bring a girl. That talk that talk you matter. They fucking over. And that documentary bring a girl over from England. And it just shows her journey with this. These are camera much so that with Max hardcore when she goes to audition with him

Yeah, the camera guys stop rolling and they put a thing on the screen It says we had to stop along because we realize this point. She can't make her own decisions anymore We had to step in because like he comes and he goes yeah, you want to be in porn? She didn't even want to do like guy guy porn three days before that now She's already been in a gang bang at this point because her manager guys talking her into it And she's trying to make money for her daughter back home and whatever her sad story as I'm sure and this is documented on film Yeah, they showed her daddy issues on filming. She's like showing crying looking at the dogs with dad But Max hardcore comes in when he thought this is girls. He goes he goes

He's like he goes. Yeah, you want to be in porn he just like literally just starts like fucking her in the ass in front of people not on camera and that just starts doing it and taking advantage now the piece of shit yeah the piece of shit the piece of shit are I am yes oh yeah absolutely so it's on camera yes but not on like not making a porn move they were making money they weren't doing they weren't gonna make money on right but they were he was he was doing it for show because there was a camera in the room sure so it's not he didn't cover for shit giggles okay but he knew yeah he's vicious though you see and you see how his mind game turns from being like hey baby come on you're

beautiful to be in like all right you want to let your fucking family down then put your shit on and get the fuck out and you want to be a shitty mom and not it's a and then she that that's what makes her go I said that to my wife last week I guess I'll say that's what makes me going I I said that to my wife last week. I guess I'll say, but that's what makes me going, I guess I'll stay and do it. It's pretty vicious. But anyway, listen, the piece of shit I am, of course, did it by the way, I'm not gonna lie.

I went and looked up that girl's porn clips from with the shit she shot in that movie. And I did Jagger off those. Yeah, because you're a hunk of garbage. Yes, but that being said, I don't watch pro porn anymore because I'm so fucked up. Jay, fuck you. You just a hypocrite

1000% I'm not even a hypocrite. You're a piece of shit. Okay, you just My mom I'm gonna just told me I was a great man. Listen to me. You are a great man I'm not saying being a piece of shit is a bad thing. I think it's a great thing He's about to put his whole collection on eBay. No, he's not Only the child born is going on listen Listen, he's such a piece of shit. He actually tried to get us to believe that he had some type of dignity because he goes, I don't watch pro porn anymore

because of, and then he watched this documentary, this girl literally get a fucking abuse, fuck you, and then he went, the first thing he did, he went and jerked off to it. He didn't even jerk off to the actual, the movie, he went and find the real clips that he's actually, she likes it. Exactly.

You're a long-a-garb. Absolutely. Is that a real peribody? But a pro porn. Sure, because what I jerk off to now is like the, like homemade, like, watching my wife bang my friend. I want to ask you something. This is what, because I watch gay porn, okay?

And what I don't get with gay porn is that, when a chick sucks a dick, when a woman sucks a dick, yeah, she sucks it. Okay, let's get it. It's, I don't know, there's just this, there's something sexy and there's the eyes and the, it's almost like, I don't know, passion and, there's something when a guy sucks another guy often those movies

it's like a machine it's just i know they're probably sucking dick the way you're supposed to suck dick that is the maximum oh my god this feels awesome like i know guys probably suck each other's dicks the way you're supposed to suck a dick and women's suck dick to kind of add their little sexy thing to it women do a show Okay creative vacuum Bam thank you for summing it up after all these years Holy fuck man, wait, wait, hey, I was I say that again women put on a show right men create a vacuum men make their miles into a fucking

hole That you fuck and that will you feel and women put on a show. Fuck yeah. I think Norton has that on the t-shirt. But that's fun. You know what I mean? Like I've watched Gay porn to be like, all right, let's check this shit out. What are the fuck are these guys doing?

And it's like, God damn it. It's just, and it's just, there's enough that the thing that it's missing even with the fucking creepy shit I like, you always see that girl, and she'll, you fucking, oh god, you know that fucking sexy dirty. Because she's looking for it, she's looking for some sign from the guy that says, oh, am I doing it right, is this good, is this good? A guy who's doing it, who has a dick of his, oh, knows what these two are his own knows what these do you know almost like it just getting business taken care of by think you're almost like it just looks wrong it looks wrong if you're not

wired that way it doesn't look wrong I never said it look wrong I like that wrong like that wrong more like it looks like it just doesn't look like it's like don't try to get me a trouble like Tracy Morgan I have game in a wrong and if Lenny suck a dick you'd stab him in the fucking heart right is that what you're working? No, that's he's joking Lenny actually was like what I'm not getting stabbed. I didn't suck a dick. What happened? How do you know that?

You've never you've never you have you ever done a little circuit jerk with your buddies back in the day? Back it was the gayest thing you've ever done. You've never hang on first of all. It's very natural. I don't drink anything with caffeine in it. You went to Jewish camp, right? Day camp. Oh, you didn't go to overnight camp now. That's why you would have sucked a deck if you went to overnight You didn't need to every day was overnight camp for you When was the first time you were the dude? 17 years old Wow, they've been with the woman, but I remember wanting to be with a dude in kindergarten I distinctly remember Wow and kindergarten kindergarten really you like bet you were a child molester Well in kindergarten

No, you were a child molester Yeah, that needs a hyphen or a comma or something. When you molest people, you are not. It's a case. It's all in grammar. You guys know. You guys know. You guys know. You guys know.

You guys know. You guys know. You guys know. You guys know. You guys know. You guys know. You guys know. You guys know.

You guys know. You guys know. You guys know. You guys know. You guys know. You guys know. You guys know. You guys know. You guys know. You guys know. Would you forget touching one of your friends Dix is a joke? Do it now. Let's hate what? Yeah, I wouldn't do that. What it it would wig you out We would do it too. I would do that really. I know why I wouldn't do that first of all I would never do that

I feel like it's it would take away some of my soul why because it's like To to make you laugh. I'm touching the dude's cock, go fuck yourself. Do you know what I mean? If I just did it, like if someone told me to do it, or if I was, if we were hanging out and you took your dick out, you're like, and everybody was laughing and I grabbed it

and I fucking pulled it. Yeah, you're like, I mean like that. If it was a spontaneous thing, yeah, but if you like, dude, grab his dick. No, that doesn't, yeah. I won't set the scenario right for me. I'm sorry, I didn't know all the stars at the line

I'm free to grab this fucking imaginary cock Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha All right, it's you Look man, I love you It's a nice, temperate time of season Yeah, go Man

He just got out of the shower Night or day Two knuckles deep cleaning his butt home Ha ha ha I don't get why you stick Now do you stick him, it's just you soap your finger? Yeah. And you don't, no, that impresses you

that he cleans his asshole. Do you clean your asshole like that? Or do you have another technique? Well, I only go to that kind of trouble when I know I'm in for something. Ah. I was just fucking, I, I'm the way in you ended that. I only go through that fucking, that trouble when I'm in for a night of rend it

Or when I think there might be a possibility you've been in at a fat in your life you've been in and out of it Like I've been fat my whole life. I never want to be I always think when I'm in a room and someone's like something smells like shit I'm always like is it is it please no let it be me. I'm like should I've been fat. I've been fat I don't think I ever how fat were you two seventy seven in high school Wow That's crazy. That's what I wait out I've just dropped that what I wait now to He's having seven. Yeah, I actually weighed two seventy. Yeah, I'm too. Maybe a little under two seventy eight I'm a way to sixty some now say lost a little bit. I'm six foot nine. Yeah, but I'm seven for two

Yeah, so you were a fat gay guy. I was a fat kid played the tuba in high school con volotea la región de Murcia nunca ha estado taninos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. Oh, we had to fuck fat chick. Are you sure you weren't the person that Jay was with? I was not the chick behind that cow. You weren't the one lying on your ground talking your cock back. You're fucking ginger dick back. You weren't the ugly girls ugly first. Where are you from man? North Carolina. North Carolina. Oh, that's a tough place to fuck it. So it wasn't as though I was just going around hooking up with other fat gay dudes. I was repressing everything about who I was. I don't know a gay guy. From kindergarten. From kindergarten to 17.

17, so 17, you said fuck it. 17, AOL came out and so did I. Really? Now, chat room. Chat rooms. Really, was it chat rooms? Yeah. Anything dangerous?

What was the other like, I was like, I do go do something in person. But was it dangerous? It was another like 17, you know, what was your age, age, sex location answer? Well, my age, my my age sex location was 18. And what the fuck does that mean? Do you remember when Chek came out,

I was a, who was like ASL question mark, age sex location, you start chatting to me. So I dealt with what was lying about my age. I just thought I was 18. I was 17. Yeah, I think it was a shit. Wasn't a big deal. Now is it, now let me ask one question.

Well, you're above age, you're a hero. Here's the thing, is it that does the age if a guy was eighteen one of the suck you are seventy year olds caught is you still get arrested for that no in north carolina i think the age of consent is sixteen oh wow so then you so you've been gay

you've been out on the closet for how all the now do you know i'm thirty one thirty one and you have a boyfriend old queen You have a way down 30 30s gay death. Is it really? 40 with the new gay Because of modern modern family I mean, it's over. I've been put out the pastor. I'm like settled down now Gonna find a take-stool. Yeah, they get to bring people home. You have like rules, right? Yeah, we have good rules.

And here's the thing, you have to be honest and you have to recognize, well, as a gay man, in my relationship, I'm lucky because we recognize that monogamy is kind of an unrealistic expectation for men, especially in the city. And so we recognize the idea that what, I don't know, won't hurt me be safe He doesn't know and be safe absolutely so number one be safe because if we would do it together

We would do in a chapter in the cheap book because we do I have a book coming out with Billy Burr and Joe DeRosa Called cheat a man's guide to infidelity and it's a how to how to cheat and get away with it as a man But we had we were right. We were like okay We have to write some a chapter on gay guys. Because you guys are guys and you guys cheat. But it was such, we were like, fuck it. We took it out of the book because I talked to around, I talked to a bunch of gay guys. And it was a book unto itself, all the, oh my God lifestyle in the world of gay men. There's like, there's so many little codes and things

and ways you can, it's like, wow, I was like, dude, I would have, it would have been a whole new book. So I was like, fuck it. Let you, let whoever, let a gay guy write the cheat, but forget, because they don't cheat. You guys, you come up with your own little fucking agreement and you kind of stick by it. Like, like, one guy was telling me, yeah, I can go to a

massage, a steam room and fuck around. And there's not as more prevalent to find, I mean, I think you'd find that probably as much as you'd find like swinging couples and shit though. Well, I think way more. A higher, higher ratio. The swing couple is a fucking way lower ratio than gay men. Absolutely.

No, they're gay men who are like, but there's a lot of gay men who are like, you can't fucking cheat. No, the, well, those gay men that dude, they, that's called the regular relationship, right? They, they call it, what do they call that when they try to live like a woman in the, stop at the home, though.

When gay guys mirror their relationship after a straight coma, what does that call? I don't know what that's called. I don't know. It's called. I don't know. It's called bull. Yeah. It's called life that we trusted. It's called it's called bull.

It's called triad failed. It's called well, you know, because I mean, my first time experiencing gay, dude, my sister who we kind of had a not a falling up who my abusive stepfather used to fucking abuse her physically and mentally and me. So we kind of separated like I'm going to go survive, I'm going to go survive. And we she went and found her people and I went and found my people. I didn't have anybody actually. I had nobody. I was just all alone. I didn't have friends blah blah blah. She found these gay alternative people,

eyeliner and they named their car, Mass and Gayle Dush. You know what I mean? They did it, it was a weird shit rock-y-art picture and they'd hang out at a park and just not drink, but have coaxing off. Yeah, it was before a goth. Right, right.

And I remember I was hanging out with her and there was this guy Bill around the corner. He had an apartment with his little sister who was a cutie. It was blonde. Kind of fucking, you know, didn't talk too much. Just kind of sat there. And I, you know, my sister told me this guy was gay, a little thin dude, right? Kind of like like Lenny a little bit, you know? And I didn't I didn't know what gay was. It just, okay, whatever that is. I was, I think, 10. And I remember I came over the house, look at one of my sister, he said, come on in.

And I came in and there was a room. And I can see it a party the night before. And I was just a party, but there's a room full of mattresses. Like, he took one room and filled it with mattresses on the floor. And I'm like, 10, I'm like, well, this is fun. And I'm like jumping around. It was a bicycle PDA episode of Different Strokes. Right.

And then he, I remember he shut the door and he kind of locked it because his sister was at the piano in the other room. Did you hear the lock really, really loud? And I lied down on the mattresses and I'm like, you know, this is a fun mattress room. And then he lied down next to me and he's like, so, so you're so cute.

And he started being real like, and I was like, oh shit, he's gonna fuck me. And I was like, I just ran. I unlocked the door and ran and never went back. Like I was petrified. This just, this just, this look, there was a blindfold, place behind it all night.

And the bump people just butt fuck all over the house. And the mattress, what's in that room? Nothing. The mattress is in there. It's a lot of stuff. She's just pointing at me. I remember running by her and she didn't even talk. She was just playing the piano.

She looked at me like a creepy mouse. She just looked at me like, another one bites the dust. Bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, going to the mattress room. Yeah, that was my first experience where I was like, oh my god, they fucking mattress rooms. All right, we're gonna take a break real quick. We're gonna come back, we're gonna do some sponsors. We're gonna come back, wrap up the show. I didn't mean to do shit. Big J. Oaksson.

If you guys don't know, then you're fucking dumb. He's been on the show before. One of my favorite guests. We got Lenny, we got Kelly and our new friend. Sloan. The fucking Sloan. Yeah, we have gay Joe. And now we have a slow in the bone. Slown the bone. I like it. Slown the bone. Gay Joe is the other photographers. He didn't even know his gay he's from a cuz he had an Australian accent you can't tell gay guys with accents and he looks like he's just like the way he dresses as well like he's this very man yeah he comes in hello mate hey i'm taking some photos he's very made like hey y'all good shake your hand he's like yeah i suck some

cock like a yay oh no she's fucking out of her mind she's actually making a more butch than he is he's not he's happy as shitties just a nice guy. He's not as gay as fuck is slow on the bone I mean slow on the bone as fucking yeah, even the way his camera. He holds his camera like a like it's a fucking gentle Cock that he's fond of with his pinky up This thing is very delicate and it's on loan from the husband Okay, cool, so we'll be right back and do a little ads and all that shit and we'll be back with you know what All right, we're back. We're back. We took a little break But we're gonna do a little commercial right now

You want to support the show and you know you do because you listen to the show for free every goddamn fucking week you download it and And you enjoy it. So you want to help us? It's three ways you can do that. Number one, go to ryecast.com slash Robert Kelly. And go to our page and you can donate whatever you want. A dollar, 20 million dollars, whatever you have. You can donate all that money goes to equipment and stuff

like this new video camera that this motherfucker's using right, the Sloan the Bones using right now. Is that make me gay? He's just shaking his head. I know she's gonna go to Kelly later, he's gay, he's fucking gay. He was looking at my deck. I have fucking hit.

My senses were fucking tingling. I wanted to shoot my web all over his face. Listen, anyways, you can go there and donate. Oh, you can go, because you buy stuff on the internet, all the stuff we talk about on tech talk All the things that you need anything you want you buy off the internet go to our page and hit the Amazon button and buy it from our Amazon page We get don't we get money on every purchase you and the higher the purchase the more money you spend the more money We get we get a percentage of that a very small percentage, but we do so go to our page

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and have you two week trial, it's like Netflix for video games, you use them, return them, get a new game because new games are coming out every month now. So go there and save yourself some money save yourself some time and support ykwd And tell your friends to do that so we test the money on a game fly absolutely go ahead because I just bought fucking mad in 13 And you know the sports video game guy Bobby are you I like them? Yeah, but I would now I do now because I use game flies can't fucking play a season on madden 13 unless you have if you're hooked up online You got to be hooked up online to play a season no shit so lame now which I would have just got it from game fly

And giving it the fuck back It's all back game Yeah, you got do you need tech? No, but technically what's the gaiest thing you've done? Ha ha ha. All right, so we're back, man. Such a rory. Here's the thing too.

We were talking about all this crazy shit with fucking slow on the bone and Jay and me. But then we're sitting over here and Kelly, I mean, you have sex issues, too, right? You're a dirty here and Kelly, I mean, you have sex issues still, right? You're a dirty girl. You like to be choked? You're just gonna ruin my thought of Kelly now. You like to be spit on and have a food?

A food on your face? It looks like a normal, very nice girl. You like a rainstick up your wallaboo? Yeah. Ha ha ha. The old dog. No, yeah, I like it a bit filthy But sometimes I like it nice it just depends on mood I mean it's always different

Why would that ruin your opinion if she has if she's in the gross shit? I think I'm a good dude. I just like some creepy ass shit. Bobby's a great dude. Thanks man. I like that I'm great and you're good. Yeah, you may be better You know what my life you've been great because you've been very you were very helpful Especially in my career, super helpful. The, I mean, just like filthy stuff. Like what, name something that you like,

we've all been open, be open. Yeah, okay, Malala, you know, like, force is a very good thing. Don't be disgusting, Jesus Christ, Kelly. What? My kid might be listening. Oh my God, man, that's what my wife was.

What does that mean? I like a man to spit my mouth. I love that I love that fucking Lenny so nerdy. He went Star Wars like the forest Use the force on my pussy. Oh shit. So so seriously like forest like talking what is it like you know like Like holding down stuff holding against stuff. I never want to feel like the stronger person. I need to make sure that he makes me feel like I'm the weaker one Do you like to be thrown around a little bit for us to suck it dick? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah What kind of slow in the bone are you fucking that you feel strong? Slownies like slow and actually was my educator on how to Really where hey that's genius where? No, we my educator on how to give pleasure. Really? Where? Hey, that's genius. Where?

No, we, uh, we, uh. Do you blow like a gay guy? Stop flourishing or back you. You're an ass game. I'm like, I, I, I, I, I asked him, I'm like, tell me, what, like, what is the most important thing to know? And he's like, this is what, and he like taught me very, like, very literal and very, you turn the camera back on you just nodded your head.

What, guys, this, what did he teach you? I want to know if he taught you what I would say is fucking fantastic. This is what he taught me. I normally, I normally to get some lubrication on a penis. I normally spit on the dick to get it. But now, it's like, I mean, the same now. Spit on the microphone. Show us. Spit on Lenny's pink microphone.

Spit on Lenny's dick that he's hiding because it's hard right now. Now he's a little bit on Lenny's pink microphone. Spinner let he's dig that he's hiding because it's hard right now. Now he's a very adorable thing in the world. Lenny go solve that problem on the board. Big J's finger up his ass like I'm not sure I could do it. I'm doing a dirty story and Lenny's putting his hand down to his chin like he's a schoolgirl on a red reef fine. Stringly his fingers around the cord. You couldn't be more hunched over.

You're the letter C right now. What's wrong with you? What are you hiding? That was horrible. But he said down, because I was like, yeah, I spit in it to get it all wet and stuff. And he's like, no, if you push it down further enough and you suck this much and blah, blah, blah.

You'll throw it down in your mouth. Yeah, your mouth produces its own lubrication, so it doesn't get dry, because your own spit makes it dry too quickly But it's a natural lubricant that comes from the back of your throat. Yeah, Jessie's not eating It's almost like snuff. Yeah, and you don't need it and I found it and it's a really hard suction to the point where I was like I'm not doing it right because like the my cheeks like I want to go suck a dick right now. This is try this Honestly, if this is true. We have to do a myth busters on this.

Kelly, Kelly, I want you to suck Lenny's dick. Well, we all blew loads down your throat, myth busted. But I still haven't learned how to have a guy come in with a mouth there. Really, you can't do that. What do you have to learn? Just don't take it out of your mouth. What do you have to learn how to like shitty tastes?

I just, that's like the dismount. How do I get old, Apple? You know what, I'm on a dismount. Eat black black licorice first and then realize how good you got it Look the bottom of the guys foot and then realize the saint so bad Could be worse Yeah, look lick jays index finger after he gets out of the shower It tastes like I'm so what is your fricatized like iron? I swear when I get out of the shower after I've done that,

then I do this, I go, I open my butt cheeks with almost like this part of my, like my forearms almost, and then I take a toilet paper and get at least a knuckle in there with toilet paper to make sure there's nothing on the toilet paper. Are you preparing to be gay? Yeah, I just think what if something gay happens? You never know when someone's gonna look at that. You do know something that I don't like red dawn, but gay guys in parishes.

Dude, I never wanna have my butt cracks wet and smell like shit. That's my, that's one of my- That's really nice of you, right now. Oh, CD. G-O-C-D. It's, it's, it's, it's selfish also, because I don't wanna be like judged and biased. I would do anything the people, not maybe people think,

uh, yeah. Anything that might not make people think of me by it's like I would want anything to people. No, maybe people think. Uh, yeah. Anything that might not make people think of me as fat first. So Kelly, you can't swallow. Queen, you can't swallow. I'm not even just swallow. I've never had a guy come in my mouth. I just got to the point where every time I did it, I let him come in my tits and then I just got to you fire where I was like, I'm like, I think I'm just gonna save this for the right guy.

Like I'm saving it. Like when I really want to be with someone. The guy who has a guy who come on your face. No. I can't wait. You can't like, the guy who is not coming your mouth, you tell him another guy came on your face for me to be upset. This is what I love about gross who wait to do with the right guy. Then you wait and you finally, the guy you love, you meet the guy, oh my god, it's your

night. And you let him come in your mouth and you throw up on his dick because you're not used to fucking load juice Yeah, yeah, get used to it practice on guys You don't like and then by the time you get to your guy You'll know how to swallow or you like it or you don't you thought you've done it all and then you can actually have a nice time I'm gonna take a run now. I think it's probably gonna happen with him You know what I'll just take a him. I'll just give you a shock last in my jizz. I just play with it. Have fun. Yeah, shoot it like oysters. To the best go on a cracker. Now slow on the bone. Have you? Do you like come? I didn't

not say that. I really just did. I was trying to find a way to polite, like the technical term. Do you like... Seaman? Well, I appreciate the director pros. Right. Like chicken. Aggressive, not passive. Do I like...

Well, not do you like it? Can you text? Ice cream. Like I seek out ice cream. I'm not just going to be like... You know what? You know how to move for some time. I want to go to that meatball place and then get a shot of combo.

We're done. at the other place You know what I can really use right now. I watch if they wasn't come Do you know there's a new truck in town down in these village called cum load? The beers are cheap, but their come is worth the death. Oh my god. They're open late and I follow them on I follow them on Twitter So I know they're right now they're on 34th Street and And I know there right now they're on 30 plus three and Roby's question is slow on the bone Sloan do you But do you now think it may be harmful to Kelly because I tell you and Bobby so this is true

Harmful in a sense that if you take you don't want to take away all her floors because got these him for I get it The back of the throat spit is fantastic But then I do like a girl to fucking spit a fucking luge on my dick and talk a little shit and do it. I'll do that for a fake. It doesn't have to be all functional, but it's not a fake. That's important to it. Like he said though, guys, guys put on a show. For me, it's functional.

If a girl blows me with no, and she's not moaning herself also. Can I just tell you saying the guys love, the reason why guys love what we want to suck a dick good Kelly Love sucking the dick. We have spoken about Sucking the dick if you don't love even if you're faking it if you Pretend that you love sucking my dick Whatever blowjob you give me is gonna be amazing We're actually spoken about this before and it was when you were in when we did the show back in your house, and that's exactly what I said. I'm like, and I always say this to girls,

I'm like, you have to love it. You have to love it, don't do it. Don't ever look at when you're going to guy. Don't ever look up at him and give him that look as if to say, see what I'm doing for you. Same thing about a, if you know you should fucking enjoy it. Same thing about a fucking big gash in a woman's leg.

You have to, like if you ever looked at a pussy and light like fucking fluorescent hospital lights, you'd fucking want to kill it with a rake. I love it. I'm a pussy guy. I'd rather see pussy than a T-Sauré. Yeah, but you love it because you learn to love it. I'm sure when you first start.

But like Lenny, I got to get to you because we've been, we can do this side of the table for hours. Sorry. Yeah, I know. I know you like to say, but here's a deal, lady. You are that guy. You're a guy who doesn't fucking, you know, you're not want, what kind of porn,

what kind of porn do you like, lad? I don't really watch a lot of porn. Really? If you did watch porn, what would you say, Kelly? I said boasted. Really? I know a lot of time. I absolutely believe.

You don't have time. What do you do? Well, I have to. Day job. What? I was just a real time. I absolutely believe you. You have time. You have time. What do you do? Well, I have a job. I have a job. I'll come over. What? I'll just get a real girl. Really? Yeah. And then what do you do? Talk. You're horrible.

No, I'm asking. What do you do? But a guy can't make a decision. Like, because you're telling me once I'm like a real girl. Me and Jay were talking off. You're like, there are guys like you out there. We think that especially in comedy and showbiz or guys that we know that every guy relates to what me and Jay are saying and the majority do. Okay, even when it's a slone the bone, you know, and Kelly, but there are guys like you out there.

I remember I attacked this lady in the crowd, this older lady, I'm like, I have this joke on my act that women f- you know about women banging my wife, you know, my wife, who I love blew Me on a Rock for an ice cream in our first date. And that's a fact. So it's like, my wife is a whore too. I technically married a dirty pig. Okay, and this woman was like, no, I didn't do that. I waited, he courted me. Like this lady was like, one of those people

and you're one of those guys. You're not a piece of shit. Well, I don't, I just have a lot to do in a day. I don't know, like, you guys are to do in a day. I don't know. You guys are obsessed with it. You know, you've taught about everything and you've taken it to whatever level. To what, you know, gone to Brazil.

Like it doesn't. Can you rationalize liking a girl who was a bit of a fucking slob in her day? I don't know. I don't want to know about it. I don't want to know about it. I really don't want to know about it. But at some point, you're not.

Let me ask you a question. So when you're with a girl, I mean, you're at the point now where you want to meet a girl, if you're going to waste the time with being on a girl, it has the potential to go somewhere. Yeah, I think so. You're not just fucking broads. Let's put it.

I feel bad you're sweating on your upper lip and it's freezing up here. No, it's not. I have the A.C. and fans on and Paul Lenny has sweat on his upper lip and it's freezing up here. I have the AC and fans on and Paul Lenny has sweat on his upper lip No, look It's two ways to go you either just have sex with women just to do it whatever Or you try and get a relationship. I've been trying to be in a relationship where I want to spend time with that girl That I can't pull that off

So I'm in the other relationship, which is not necessarily. Fooling around. Yeah, fooling around. So it's a booty call relationship, but it's regular sex. It's not, you're not experimenting. You're not taking it to levels or trying new things.

No, I don't think I'm from that world. Really? I don't think I'm from that world. I mean, the way you guys talk, like you should get on the buzz, but then you take it at such level You can't go back to like intimacy almost so it's like I don't want to go to that girl with that like a butt plug Would you be like this is not the girl from here?

Yeah, probably would you be like oh fuck hell yeah, let's rock it out. Oh, I don't know I mean that I think if it meant a lot to her you know like That's even like Process yeah, it meant a lot to her Like if a girl pulled up a book, I don't worry if it means a lot to I go, if she was like, that's chick legs of fucking plug up her ass. He'd be like, there's this Lenny.

I mean, if you want it, please. All right. All right. I'm very accommodating. Are you sure you're not gay? No. I'm very accommodating. Good guy.

I was just not. So listen to me. Listen to that teenage girl. Whatever you want. Listen. me. Listen to that teenage girl. Whatever you want. Listen, whatever you want I take direction well, ladies. Did you ever fuck Bobby in the back seat of a car while his friends?

So have you ever done? The questions get worse and worse. Have you ever, do you have a pull of girls hair? Yeah. Like did you sorry right after? I'm a bust. No, they don't. You try and feel out what they like and what they don't like.

I know one girl, all she wants to do is get spank. That's all she wants to. And you spank her. I'll spank her, of course. Like, how do you spank her, though? Like when I spank a girl, I'm fucking spanking this bitch. Yeah, I'm spank her because she learned to like, all right, let's see if I can really spank.

Like, yeah, it's harder and harder as harder as you slapy hand it can I can I ask you how's that all right like this all like this like handprints at the end yeah is it yeah this handprints are really are you biting a bottom lip as you do it that's how it is the white man gets power to the point where I'm like this cannot cannot be like It's your laughing? I'm almost laughing, because I'm that cynical. It's still a comic, like how fucking ridiculous. I told you it's how my slapping a girl's ass.

She's blowing my friend, and I was slapping her ass, and I got so into it, I slapped my own ass. It shut down the room. They both, she turned around, she went, did you just slap your own ass? They really lit up this side of the room. I get the ass lepping though. What's that? He did the friends. You never you never Aggressive. What do you think is what would you say is like or could you even say what the most like? Aggressive thing you've to have you are like just put a finger up a girl's ass ever

I've never never put a finger up a girl's you've never got a girl. Yes. Yep. You fucked didn't like it. No, I like to you did. Yeah, it's tough to pull that off every time Like some women do not like that. Yeah, but I mean you don't try every who I don't Some of them don't who are these women you speak of isomers of tears of joy And I say no, it's so funny is that there's a lot of can't just don't you ask sure? Usually comes up a car usually not I usually not night one I was here I'm not a piece I'm a total Jesus do you just think about when your daughter? Thank you two years from now four years from now now now where she's like 15 16

She's like that really high and his's like, dad. She's really hot. And this guy walks in and it's you, but like 20 years go, and I'm just going, get back in the house! She's got me and her mom's big titties. Here's a deal. I can't wait to you. I love you. I already walked in with your daughter.

What? Are you hurt? No, I didn't hear you said it. I already walked in with your daughter. Absolutely. It's going to be an already without a doubt Like it used my suggested tone it's gonna be an already or God forbid a God Which which people who don't know it that is they're both black

More afraid of that are you afraid of finding like a book where she is rated? where she is rated. No. I'm sure she has a fucking journal. I won't. Wait a second. She'll, that's it. I failed. I would give up.

I failed with the paper. Wait, what if she had a... Would you rather find like drugs in a room, like some's partner room, or would you rather find that book? Dropot. Really? So, here's the deal.

If you found it, if you found meth in a... He did say pot. Okay, so you found meth in a fucking rather say pot okay so you found meth inner fucking poggabook or a low journal with ratings and they're actually in his different colored pens like she really like his green red blue and black pens she went to the office max for this yeah and you're reading it and it's like people you know Chis load journal. Yeah, but this is it's volume two

It's the law seasons like the guy from the guy in storage war is founded He found that a gun from the Civil War and a barber chair a loadger She's like summer editions coming out All right You're making a real No, I'll give you an explanation. Math, and it's because. That's seriously.

Dude, all right. There's a psychological thing that's gonna come along with becoming that kind of a whore, that if you get wrapped up in fucking drugs, you could possibly, there's a fucking light at the end of that tunnel. You can come back from that. But you will always have those guys, just journal.

Just journal. All over you while you rank their gizzlers. She's gonna have a travel channel show. You know, it's Nutty. It's, uh, it's Nutty. You can actually taste with this animal ate. Today, today we're in Ireland tasting our, our, our, our, our, our. He goes like this, he goes like this thing.

Well James had a lot of, uh, celery today. Did you brush your teeth with Colgate? Do you use Colgate? I do want to try hintiment? Do you have a heavy ginger? She can guess the guys Guess the guy's origins from his load like she's blindfolded. Who gives he's Asian? Japanese He was there when the tsunami's happened because I can taste wood and mud from his load like she's blindfolded to get his Asian Japanese He was there when the tsunami's happened because I can taste wood and mud She's got a chance to store it tell like she can come back from a gun I bait drugs, but after that oh she'll have a better story to tell if she fucking

Takes a giz journal, But I don't want those stories Yeah, it doesn't I mean like this no I don't her a shake or the fact that eventually it'll come out and be like Jay is your daughter No, it's not it's not like Do I've never been the personality to handle like Any kind of like and again, that's the hypocrisy of like who a lot of us are and myself very much so is like I've done all this creepy shit at the same time you're like I hope that I would instill in her it's like hey if two guys are in a frat party asking to come back to the room like they want to fuck like you

won't have a good time it will be blah blah you know how do you know she won't though I don't know she doesn't have like a great story to tell her friends like dude I suck both these guys off how many girls? How many one one tasted like fucking like my favorite Starbucks tea? The other one tasted like cake How many how many times have you been on the other end of that where you're like this girl? How many stories do you have in your life Bobby where you know somewhere? There's a girl going like I should have done that like I probably should have done that That was like fucking even if you don't treat I've never treated girl shitty. I'm not like a

I'm not gonna get out. I'm never been that guy either. I've been that guy. I've been the guy was my father Melis to me and then 20 minutes later daddy you like that What did you say that was? There's one thing I hate Kelly does. She'll say, hot cock and gull, so I'll be like, what the fuck do you say? It's great. She just steam, we expect to understand

the shitty access. This is the daddy stuff. That's great. But thank you, Lenny. I've done that before though. I've had those things, I'm like, I can't believe I did that. Do you think? It's just so much regret.

I sense a fucking connection between you and Lenny right now. There's been a lot of people in here, and I've never since Kelly, I've seen it be like, oh, Starstruck or whatever, but there's like a weird vibe. You might like Lenny. Please, a nice guy. I'm just saying if you're gonna take a load in the mouth. This is the guy.

I mean, it eats well. Yeah, organic, really healthy. He's If you got a- I mean, it eats well. Yeah. Organic, really healthy. He's gonna taste good, yeah? Yeah, it's gonna taste like grass-fed jizz. Yeah, it's gonna taste like a muttable soup. I can get it on.

Oh, shit. I do like my jizz. Oh, really is. And again, to a book. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. All right, man. Blenny, you better pray to God God you're never my daughter's giz journal

First thing I do is go through that list if it starts saying shit like Lewis chick homies Mother fucker his his days like donuts and rice Am I gonna make your come journal My Learn to our right on your gizmo meter my my come with his My come with his like every she's just have to write everybody, because I eat all. My come tastes like sweat, sweat,

some type of tadpole and blood. That's what I'm talking about. And hummus, put a hummus in. A little bit of blood. Somebody did write a book like that. Wouldn't it be a, there would be huge, wouldn't it? Yeah, be, well, first of all, Jizz and, and, uh, uh, uh, uh, slow on the bone.

I would ask you this and Kelly, Jizz pretty much tastes, I've tasted it, Jizz tastes, Jizz tastes the same. I would imagine. Well, I've, I've put it in, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a. Wait a minute. Wait a. Wait a. Wait a minute. Wait a. Wait a. Wait a minute. Wait a. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a. Wait a. Wait a minute it wait a minute wait a minute wait wait wait wait your own I've tasted my own

But you taste your own Lenny no, but with jizz taste what jizz taste that really that much different first They are you you can fucking shut up. There's a There's a an underlying jizz flavor. Okay, you know it's jizz but there are subtle differences there are so differences. There are hints. So it is like French cooking. I mean, I couldn't really like pick out, you know, rice or mud or anything like that, but sometimes it's just like,

oh, he hasn't missed this. Were you gonna shoot this first nut in a long time? Really? Sometimes it's a little like concentrated. Concentrated Jizz. So if a guy Jirks off, if a guy Jirks off like a bunch of times and then he blows a load It'd be like oh, this is like a light jizz yeah, it's like it's the idea that you know

You didn't put on deodorant that day if you don't run around if you don't work out It's not that hot you're not gonna stink so much right but if you do go to the gym It's really human outside you're gonna stink really bad. So it's the same sort of flavor profile Really you never jerked off to your blown ghost loads. Yeah, it feels like you're gonna stink really bad. So it's the same sort of flavor profile. Really? You never jerked off to your blown ghost loads? Yeah. It feels like you're gonna fucking,

it was like, so when I swallah count for the first time, I wanna be on the second or third load. You need to make sure, this is the guy who's doing it all the time. Not one of those three wheelies. They're not Lenny. Okay.

You can't blow Lenny and swallow his load. You have to swallow J's. I jerked off set time It tastes like tears Body water She's all water at this point oh my jizz is a bathroom for tears cuz it's from her own eyes from second your dick Bulls Clean yourself well you can go you can go two knuckles in the middle of the asshole and you can eat a fucking thing

for that hand. How's this though? Three knuckles, you fucking taste the shit. Three knuckles in this fucking shit city on that. It tastes like a dinosaur bone. The guy that's been hanging around though, like because on the weekend when we hang out, it was at the first time, like after he, when he was coming, I put it in my mouth just as he kind of finished coming and I tasted it a bit and it didn't taste that bad.

So it kind of made me feel good about that. Did you ever finger a guy's ass hole? No. Don't go for it. I don't care. Don't worry. Why not? I'm afraid he'll be gay if he's into it.

No, he's not gay. Don't you dare say that. That's not gay. So your gay door is way off now. There's nothing sexy that we're going to watch in a hot chick, clean her fingernail with a matchbook cover after. Is he ribs? No, no I didn't.

You're having coffee after she's sex. You see that one dirty fingernail? Oh shit. Looks like she was scraping dirt. Let me give you this pamphlet that was written by big J How to clean listen Lenny have you ever tasted your own jizz? No, why do you say anyone else's? You've never tasted What if you just jerk off?

What if you have everybody in the room right there? What if you jerked off and there's no tissue around? What if you jerk off and you're in the tub and you flipped your legs over your head trying to pull yourself and you came accidentally in your own face You never gave yourself a facial in the tub You never almost broke your own neck because you're too heavy to throw your legs over your head You don't make an auto bucoque. You don't make any chin. You don't make an aw mouth while you're jerking off You don't play ski ball with your own giz the eyes are hundreds I We gotta go we're gonna grab this up man. All right, man Lenny. What do you got to promote brother?

What do I have to do in a film at the end of the month? Hopefully you'll read it and we can get you in it all right also water balloon We can be out and probably short film long short film okay, you're in festival big, but awesome dude awesome awesome awesome Okay, so look out for that and you have a website or anything? Yep Lenny Marcus dot com Twitter Lenny Marcus NYC very funny guy. I mean one of my favorites. I recently watched a what on Lenny's website actually Um, it's not too long ago to watch all the uh, oh yeah, the the the comic strip Christmas videos back Listen man, if they were so great, they're all on your website. They're all on my website Fantastic, I know I love checking out YouTube videos and funny, but I love when people actually put something together like

Funny or die. You want to see some funny videos Lenny put together man go to his website we'd say it again is a link superstar you talk about right yeah the link to cycle superstar talent agency dot com there's other ones too oh yeah this all videos on the sites all yeah all the videos on your website my website give you website Lenny Marcus dot com go there all the video links are on there to get there you are in one I was in one and they're fucking great. So if you want to check out his videos, they're awesome. And Jay, what do you got? Just look at me in the road.

Yeah, I have Facebook, Twitter. Your daughter's coming out with the journal. My daughter's going to book release party. The Christmas edition coming out just for us. I couldn't even walk in that place. I got a part of the sheets of shit. All right, guys, what's up? It's bigjacomity.com.

And what's your podcast? And podcast is Legion of Skanks. It's on Cave Comedy Radio. Go check that shit out. Even though it's on the cave comedy. Yeah, we'll bring it over to fucking Ryke. All right, don't yell at me. I'm sorry.

Get some more listeners and we'll bring you. It's true. I didn't know you had that. How many listeners do you have? We're about 600 average and up. Dude so you're fucking right there do what will will definitely talk is i i think you i think i we have a little son already you're fucking my favorite guess i'd love to check it out legion of skanks check it out

uh... and uh... bone the slone slown the bone you can check me out uh... the urban boy scout dot blog spot dot com jesus craze that sounds gay what is it's it's it's my take on uh... the city life oh no shit culture and everything that goes on around this crazy place one big mattress party i want to check that out the urban boy scout dot blog spot dot com make sure you put the the ice all the photos and videos had done by

uh... slown the bone this week that actually being on man real interesting that you're uh... being honest and uh... let us talk some fucking great shit man that's what you had to give a good blood joke thanks for having to be a little never ever fucking no you teach you what his dick no we're at work and like it was really quiet I'm sure some customers saw us

I can really rather pamphlet yeah you're really good at teaching stuff what do you get Kelly uh just my Annabelle show every uh the first Saturday of every month what did you say what'd you call it Annabelle in my show say like an English person American I have a show um yeah the creek in the cave once in mines uh is that teniole only I have to stud it I like it it's not that every girl is dated. That's right. So you want me to look your ass?

So you want me to look your ass? Anyway, fucks girls are telling deaf jam comics doing white voices. I'd like to suck your penis. Damn it. Fuck that. And follow me on Twitter, KELOLY, if it is T- KELOLY just talked right over that. KELOLY has a problem with talking to other people.

I'm sorry. Sorry. I didn't want you to forget Liberty Live also. What the fuck is that? You're gonna be at Liberty Live Live for this weekend. Trying to get Kelly guest spot too. Hopefully I can get- You're gonna be my fucking neighborhood down at the brokerage soon too. Yeah, I'm gonna be over there. Now that's my block from that place. Awesome. Love those guys over at the brokerage.

Fucking treat you so good man. Really nice guy man. So James's and his sons his wife they've been so nice to me when I was out. Come on maybe and come to you. So yeah awesome. With the levity lives coming up me. Dan Sotters middling and I don't know who the fuck's open air. Try to get Kelly open. I'm gonna definitely get her a guest spot but make sure you buy tickets now. Levity Live this week. Go to my website robberkillelive.com you can buy him right off there you get him off a laugh stub.com and you go to levitylive.com I believe it is and buy tickets off of there spread the word get your friends let's fill this

fucking place and we're gonna have a good time and Kelly I'm gonna try to get her guest bonus Saturday. I'm gonna come down Saturday. Yeah she's gonna come down whether she gets on or not she's gonna hang with us and and check it out. So before but never you. Fantastic. Have you done levity live? Never you. Fantastic. Okay, cool. Beautiful, beautiful plays.

Great fucking food. It's an awesome joy. I can't wait. It's gonna be a blast. So get your tickets now. I'm levity live all week. And make sure you go to riotcast.com and support all the other shows. Our new app is coming out.

It's insane. We're gonna be doing the drunk podcast very soon, working out all the kinks. And what else you got, Kelly? The address if you wanna send some stuff in, because people been sending in awesome stuff, we've got the straight flood city, straight sign, the Patrice picture,

and the guy message to me as well, he's got one of you, they're sending in as well. Okay, cool. Yeah, and the address if you wanna send a stuff in for us is 6768, ninth avenue, number 44, New York, New York New York 10036 is that better? Yeah, perfect.

That was great. I like that too. So make sure you can send that stuff in. You want it in the studio. You want to see it on the videos. You want to hear us talk about it. Send it in. We don't give a shit what it is.

Flood city, a picture, a card book cutout, life size of me, a giz journal. If you have any whores out there that listen to this and wanna tell us what, right, a Giz journal, make sure you do that, support, laugh button. Yeah, laugh button and laugh, love Matt and Chris, they're the best. Matt and Chris laugh button. Pat from Crinchuma, the new club butt just opened up.

The stand and support Crinchuma. Yeah, and laugh's been their great too. Laf's been, we fucking love those guys. All in official, make sure you go to Amazon on our page and Gamefly support us. Keep the donations coming, you guys are awesome. We love you guys all in official and make sure you go to Amazon on our page and game fly support us Keep the donations coming you guys are awesome. We love you guys, and that's it. See you guys later You know what I'm getting? I'm stuck in the bottom line, I'm stuck in the bottom line You know what I'm getting? Look at this, I'm sorry, I'm sorry

You know what I'm getting? Really, really, really, really You know what I'm getting? Don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop.