Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Foot Massage

Episode Date: March 10, 2014

Robert is joined by Dan Soder, Joe List, Luis J Gomez, Aaron Berg, Kelly Fastuca and Chris Scopo. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Descarga ya la aplicación en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlos sin pagar nunca. You have all your devices. Plus, you have to pay attention to them. You're listening to Robert Kelly's, you know what, dude? On the Riotcast Network. Riotcast.com People stealing stuff from the studio, and it's aggravated me. His Kelly is like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Kelly's like my wife.

Well, it's just, you know, we can more. Now, find out who fucking steals right scope oh right Bobby I'm like even on yeah, you mics on you put your headphones on you know all righty fucking oh Gee, that's why I don't have water I Yes good check this out winning huge Money has never been easier than right now at draft kingsKings.com. America's favorite one day fantasy sports. No matter your sport, college or pro, basketball, baseball, even golf scopo.

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College Basketball, the madness has already started and three spots are going quick Enter Kelly at draft kings dot com before Friday for you a free entry. That's Kelly at draft kings dot com Draft Kings dot com Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth You're welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. I was trying to keep it like a comic-head. I have a bunch of guys on it. It's just us sitting down and sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's intense.

It's Robert Kelly's. You know what? You know what? You know what? There's no topics, no directions. But I love doing it. You know what? You know what?

I love doing it. You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? I'm a real cast. Side! Come! Come! Come! Come! Come! Come!

Come! Come! Come! Come! Come! Come! Come! Come!

Come! Come! Come! Come! Come! Come! Come! Come! Come! Come! Come! Come! Come! Come! Come! Come! Come! Come! Come! I

Were here they're starting to show We got a new computer what the fuck was that we have a new computer system a new computer I've got a new computer for the studio and it is putting Bobby in a rotten mood It's not I'm not in a right. I'm in a fucking rotten mood. You're absolutely right. I am a rotten mood today I'm in a terrible fucking mood. Hold on and I'm hoping that the fucking podcast will take me out of the mood my friends Oh, so called friends But fucking you haven't really formally admitted that I'm your friend yet So you really you're well, that's that's your fault because you keep doing shit that makes me not want you to be my friend.

Reply hazy. Try again. Dan is my friend. Dan, show it up. There you can talk. Oh, yeah. Joe is my friend. Joe, you can talk. Okay.

Okay, you can talk. Hi! Joe talk. Joe is my friend. Joe is a very nice guy. Says nice things to me. It's a real nice guy. You're my friend.

And I love real nice guy. Joe's just a. That's a nice guy. Yeah nice guy real enough Real nice guy. How'd you get you get what happened? What what happened to you? Alan you look better looking. Thank you. Yeah, thank you Robert. It's a nice swed out He's wearing a nice. I know the summer by you that you look good I'm seeing what people see screamed Screamed at Alan's. Like a good 30 minutes of yelling loud. During the club, dude. Do you know what I just did to Alan?

Do you know what I just did to that guy? What did you fuck him? I fucked him, I killed Alan. I raped him. Was he on his side on the couch going, just put it in kind of slow and build. I actually videotaped it. Now what should have finished, oh my.

I videotaped it in that fucking lamp, the. I actually video- No, what should I finish, oh my. I video- I didn't that fucking lamp, the shiny lamp inside of the reflection of that. You do a different room than me. How you, you don't do the- I do the first- Fand is the big room. You're the first one on the right.

Oh, I thought you made a move to the- I did make a move and then he somehow flam-flam-me back. Mm, so- I told you, Judea. You're in the belly room. I'm magic. I could- That was like a double entendre. Yeah, it was very inside joke.

Yeah, but you'll think it's a fat joke. You're a fucking John Q. Sack hair is bugging me. I get John Q sack a lot. You do. You feel real good. Yeah, you do. You have a should of it looks like a two-bay, but it's not hair. If anyone says I look like John Cusack. I immediately suck their dick. It looks like John Cusack. No, no, no, no, you look like John Cusack. It looks like Joe is always in the middle of saying

the Oosak part of Cusack. Oosak. Whoa, good to have that bandy over there. Starting off right. I didn't see that as we're all wrong for not laughing it back. I haven't seen a stretch like that since your mother took her pants off Fire you stop it you just feel back as you bailed on my show you jerk The other reason why you're on my show today is to fucking to trash me about that

I'm talking about I get invited every week i thought you do by the way what are i gonna do to be on the wikipedia page and lois you should be upset about this too we're not a big stand-sutter in kelly for stuka what's yeah what do you mean kelly made it understand the wikipedia page

what is it what is it says it says uh... with a rotating guest well with regular guests kelly fastuke and dan soter all the way to the wiki i think the last i think the last two years louis and i've been on more than so people that uh... make wikipedia things that people that have uh... i didn't make it but now it's not like it

it's people that have been assigned like they have a note they have roles within wikipedia so kill your roles all of them to do it ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles.

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Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his roles. Tell you his a track phone let me just check on the internet right now it is finger in the air like you just want to get we understood what he said

you're not on the we know it you read what it says oh no to Rosa yeah who hasn't been on the show in four years yes dance order uh-huh and Kelly for stuka yeah we already understood that now what new information you adding with that they did add the derosa thing I forgot about that oh by the way oh never mind who I didn't I didn't do it no it's people's people, it's what I called, um, Kelly, will you change it? I can't change it.

I'm not a medi, like, not mediated. If I know how to fix it and get Joe on. Okay. Yeah. I thought anyone can see you. I'm sorry, get Louis on too. No, just Joe. Oh shit.

I'm mad at Kelly by the way. Hang on, we're gonna get to that. Also, the light shut up everybody. There's so much to talk about. There is a lot. So we're gonna get to that. Let's go around the room. Karen, Karen, we got, Carrie. We got one guest. Yeah, that is not a regular. I wanted you guys to sort

out all the petty stuff before. I think doing the din the potatoes is the best elbow. I like that. He looked the way I want to look in a couple months. A couple months. Are you wearing cowboy boots? No, these are like just a big fucking piece. You got a nice months. A couple months. A couple months. Are you wearing cowboy boots? No, these are like just... You got a big fucking piece. Did you get a nice package? Thanks, Rally. I'm going to go into the kitchen. I know.

It depends if I train legs. It gets bigger sometimes. Really? Yeah, we've had this conversation before. I haven't. It can be really bigger, really small. I have to go... I'm going back to the gym to do legs because my inner...

What is this called inside here? Cock, fat. F, funky growing area. Gunt, this is like, it's your hamstrings, but it's like, it's the sides of your hamstrings. They go around the back and down there. It was pretty fun. It was funny. It just came out of Kelly's, never just looked.

We have to start treating Kelly equal if you said something funny. We laugh We don't have to go oh Kelly said something funny By the way, this is our only this is our last week ever of shooting on Lewis's career He's about to fucking win last comic standing this time. I don't think I'm gonna talk about it They did it that fast. Let's talk about it. He's gonna win. I said it hasn't happened yet How can I not be allowed's talk about it. He's got to wear, I said. It hasn't happened yet. How can I not be allowed to talk about it? Because the show's coming out before any of it's supposed to happen. There we go.

So now, can you go out for last comment? No, he didn't. You're not supposed to say anything. He has a new approach. Let's come back. Wait, let's come back. You're going to ruin this for him. Listen, Joe, what happened?

I did the show before. I know all about the rules. You can mention that you went to the end of the show. You just told him he won you did the whole I think anyone familiar with comedy knows Lewis will not win it whoa last time it was a shitty comic who was Latina I do it now thank you Joe's on fire Joe's on fire Joe's on fire

wait look what fuckers off what my chanting It's always good to be back to being the stocked into his Malone. I like this. You know I'm he slams it. I got another quick thing. Can I introduce our fucking guess allow me to introduce myself my name is That's all I know Kelly if you do actually introduce our guest here here something special is promoting today too Bobby doesn't know his name clearly do I know Is fucking what's his phone that we met before? Oh, called me my class time. I call everybody my go the first time on the show Well, you've been on the show before and you have a book coming out. Yes, I miss her man. I'm trying to get to it He's got a book he's promoting that it's very important to him. Yeah, Mr. Mann is and it's Aaron Berg

Thank you, Kelly. Hey, man is and it's Aaron Bug. Aaron Bug. Thank you, Kelly. Hi, Mike. And what's the book about? It's a proper etiquette for the modern degenerate. So it's etiquette for cases that usually go without etiquette. It's kind of a cheat. No.

That's kind of the same concept of sheesh. Except he wrote it by himself. Yeah. It didn't take four comics to write it. And it's long. 280 pages. It didn't lose friendships over it. Yeah, it didn't take four comics to write it. And it's long. 280 pages. It didn't lose friendships over it. Boy, everyone is bringing the heat, but Soto and Scopo.

I got him a joy. Soto has, Soto, what's in it? Soto, that's a Scopo-Slas Soto. Soto, animal. Soto hasn't changed the fucking camera. Are you fucking zoning? No, I fucking, what are you talking about? The mic got me at the radio show.

I've been changing the whole time. Fucking Robin Quivers. Get on it. I, uh, nothing. Remember are you fucking zoning? No, I fucking we talking about the mic got me a radio show Fucking Robin Quivers get on it. I Wow So when is the book come out March 9th pre-sale? Who's it with tomorrow? We self published right now? So it's not really a book. It's really easy. We can all make that You did your fucking book back in the 80s, all right? You mean with know. You mean with Simon and Shusney, one of the big four? Yeah. Go ahead.

Well, you do it. All right. So anyways, this is self published, because it's not an Aryan nation Bible. You and the Gay Wader gerald from the seller. Both. No, I'm kidding. Go ahead.

It's self published right now. And then we shop. You get buzz on it. And it's, I don't have a big enough name to just go out there. That's fucking great. You got a book. You did publish your own book. Yeah, it's pretty tough. That's a lot of hours of kinkos. Just a print a lot of shit out.

That's true. All right, let me ask you, Kwanifa. Yeah, should I go with the blue cover or the red cover? You're my publisher today. She's like, yo, that first one's mad funny. I did a little sketch on the cover on this one. It's a hot. My kid chewed up half the book last night. But it's funny. She's white, by the way. That's crazy.

You got your whole book on a thumb drive. That's crazy, nigga. Your Microsoft paint made a nice cover for you. You look like every guy in his sheet mail porn. Wait, Yannis works at Kinkos. Yeah. Yannis is characters. That's where he goes for his motivation.

Yannis, so the book comes out. Get the guy down. I think too. I don't think. Oh, the April, I think Louis is ever done. What do you mean? Amy got excited. He said, we said Yannis and he's goes, What monkey? A-P-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L he said he said i want to amprint he said uh... you know let's be honest from the yk wd pocket was simply the list at it but he said he he named all of us so i was just angry that he had a podcast in general

he thinks that he's thanks about uh... how about you know this first of all you know this instagrams his tweets of the world's fucking dumb the fucking most uh... he just used the instagram as twitter which is silly, but then I just lost my sound here. What happened? He was very loud. You cut me out.

Well, the way we just got, we're just done talking about Aaron's book, I guess I've published anyway. Y'all know. You already cut me out. What the fuck, you cut the mic on me? I can't hear anything. I'm out.

I got you. What's I being too loud? You need some sense. I'm trying, listen bro. You heard my feelings here. Bro, it's not about you, Joe. It's about me. It's not about me. You turned my mic off. That's about me. I have a new computer in here and I'm, I'm justing sounds and I accidentally turned you down a little too low and I am immediately within a fucking belilla second turned you

back up and you somehow made it about me, you being you, it's not, I fucked up. That's a hilarious trick that is very visible that you're trying to do, that you're trying to put, you're trying to paint me, you cut my mic, and try to act like I'm self-centered. No, you're making it all about you. Yeah, yeah, I'm making it about my microphone being cut off. I didn't mean it though, it's not that you were being louder that I don't like you. You're making it personal, I accidentally did it. you were being louder that I don't like you. You're making it personal. I accidentally did it.

You're making it that I don't like you. I didn't say you didn't like me. You personally cut my microphone. Yeah, I kinda like Joe. I like Joe's new diva attitude. It's really, it's Mariah Carey fucking. Don't you touch the mic when I'm delivering a joke. You wait till I'm done.

I'm just trying to make sure everything sounds right. Yeah, you know what, you know diva's always getting upset when you turn their mic off mid-set. You know, Joe always going so specific. What are you doing? I tried to unplug his mic when I couldn't do it. But he did it on his own. You see him, bitch. So, Janus, yeah, I'm sorry. Janus Instagrams his tweets. And one of his tweets was like, I only watch hockey I'm sorry. He honest Instagrams his tweets and one of his tweets was like I only watch hockey for the fights

And so I commented that actually fighting isn't as illegal in Olympic hockey and then he comments back Shut up. Nobody cares about you or you're dumb worthless career To me on public it was like your old joke. We like I heard your mom sick. It was like one of those Joe, we like I heard your mom sick it was like one of those I was like, yeah actually fighting you can't fight in hockey yeah, you fucking career shit Get a TV show like me get an internet presence Jesus that's crazy My fucking rules Bobby Turned it off. I'm just I'm just trying to we have a new system in here and I I'm trying to keep it You know what this is really about what I like your new computer Bobby good job

I think it stinks. Why do you think it's staying guys Aaron left He's gotta go put off my jacket. He's gonna go put off another Fucking really bookshotter. Fuck you Fucking nine months to right go suck a fucking I'm reading a Well that one I can see I'm Bustin balls there I understand Listen to brother Listen to you get you get you came in a little fucking hothead. What's wrong dude?

I'm having a bad fucking day listen. I'm having a bad day fucking too. Okay? You broke your finger yeah, I told you a bad fucking day. Listen, I'm having a bad day fucking too. Okay? I don't have a finger last night. You broke your finger. Yeah, I told you I'd finger your ass for you. I want to get I want to know what he's meant I'm trying to get to that it takes Aaron Berg to write a book. He's fucking broken inside now This is it listen Aaron. What the fuck is wrong? There's something you're not funny today. You're a guy. There's no heat He said a funny. You know what? No hot water in my place. Why will smooth out of the project? I thought he's talking about his career, but he said it was no heat Good actually. Thanks. We just laugh. We don't really just judge him and I'll really look ahead Bobby says thank you for Lewis's compliments

I haven't drank a smoke for two days. So that's taking his toll on me, right? You take a beer, dude. What the fuck did you come here for? That I wasn't even gonna look up on it. I had the same reason you did that I was having a bad day, and I thought I could talk to people that I knew. So, let me, why'd you quit drinking a smoking? I think I'm a little too functioning as an alcoholic.

Hmm. What the fuck does that mean? It means that I can do like really good shows, but get shit hammered and forget who else is on the show that I drink too much so you're so you are you saying you're an alcoholic? yeah really yeah that's crazy

I'll turn your mic back up then thanks I had no so so you quit why'd you quit smoking? my heart was hurting all the time like like sad like something Reborn there's no heat that you're connecting to the cure too much. I know he's Listen to a lot of the cure The killer's actually that took me over the that's worse heart problem Yeah, she's Robert Smith of the cure. He said all his stuff is all bullshit

He's been to the same girls since he was like 16 years old. Are you serious? Yeah all bullshit he's been to the same girls since he was like 16 years old are you serious yeah yeah what a dick what an absolute dick it all right we gotta get back to Aaron are you really fucking sad right now you fucked up you angry what's going on with you what's going on through a bad thing i feel lonely and i feel uh you have a girlfriend no like you look incredible though yeah and you know what Aaron I'm sorry I was just trying to joke around about your book but i didn't know you're in a bad place. I said don't take back funny. Okay. Yeah, he said what you were saying

He's talking about his book. He's not bummed about he was happy his book is you Not a real book. It's not a so calling it a book. It is a real book Listen Aaron. Wait a second slow down If you're gonna hit him hit him with the middle my Blue microphone not the show 58 I'm hit him with the middle my lose that the blue microphone not the short 50 yeah

what I'm I'm saying is is that look I get that you pissed off and you fucked up right I'm the same way I'm I'm angry as shit you know but you have a book you're excited about that yeah oh shit

you're not yeah I am yeah but I am but there's no funny in you right now I know he was being funny what is he said some funny looking at you beginning? Are you looking at him right now? I see it in my eyes. It looks like a reflection of himself. Yeah, he's fucking he's not Feeling the he's because he's funny, but he's there's something up with you, bro You look nothing like a reflection of Bobby. Thank you. Maybe a fun House, you know, or a porra. Yeah, or a pool with a ripple going through

I just want to I like you look sad you bummed on the bottom this but you didn't say some funny shit to be getting I can't remember what it was but it was something Remember I said everyone's bringing the heat except soda and scople which I stand there also said Well, you also said Aaron left I got quiet. I did get quiet. Are you sad dude? Yeah, I'm sad. Are you angry? I feel a little bit angry. Yeah, I feel more sad than I am because of the drinking you sad, dude? I'm sad. Are you angry? Boy. I feel a little bit angry, and I feel more sad than I am. Because of the drinking you haven't drank,

is it that? And it seems like it's something else. I think it's probably that in a combination alone, and that's, but I'm sure a lot of people go through that. Is it some of those tattoos you were regretting? I don't, because I have a wife and a child, so I don't know. No, I'm kidding.

I have what you don't have. You know, when Daryl used to be over my house and I'd hug my wife and I just kiss her and she'd be like, I love you too. And I'd look over my shoulder and look at you. I go, you'll never have this. That's good. You fucking dick dude. I don't have it someday. Yeah. That's fucked up, Darn. Yeah, but it's not it's not your life that sucks. You like it. Well, everything else is going great,

but it's work is great. It just feels, you know, you quit alcohol. Well, that'll help. No drinking, no smoking, that'll change. You'll be happy and no drinking. But you remember the first couple days. You remember how rough that was.

I had a weird, when I quit, I was like, you were done. I was like, this is it and I was excited. I was like, this is it and I was excited. I was like, this is gonna be amazing. Right. So we had a different sort of first period. George's smoke signals. I'm gonna different, no, I never smoked.

Well, why did you do, why did you do, like I never quit anything. Like when I quit cigarettes, I knew I was gonna be a fatso. I told my wife, I'm gonna blow up because I can't do both. Why would you do both at the same time? Because I think that mentally I'm strong enough that I could just focus on working out.

I'll be right. Yeah, he called you mentally weak, but no, dude. I called you a mental bitch. I think that it's hard, dude. You shouldn't do that. I mean, maybe you get an electronic cigarette or something because you, these are two fucked up habits that are very hard to break and not do and you're doing two of them

Yeah, I should not do I say to drink it first get an electronic cigarette and you know or get the gum or something to Reliviate a little anxiety you're literally trying to become another person in two days. Yeah, it's gonna be hard Especially like Joe is what I, was done. I was done. When I quit, I knew I was done cigarettes. I woke up one day. I had four cartons left. I had hundreds of dollars of cigarettes left. Thank you. I was, you welcome. I was done. I in my head, I'm kind of, I'm done. This is the day. And she didn't understand it, but that's just, it's it with drinking same thing. But But you know, you might be like, I'm fucking quitting this because of a certain situation, but I don't suggest doing both at the same time.

I mean, it's fucked, that's fucked up. Like that's a lot. I quit, it took me like four months after quitting drinking and I was ready to quit both at the same time. And cigarettes, I would have gone fucking insane if I didn't have them the first four months of not drinking.

Because you need something to kind of fucking curb, go outside, take a break. Cause you're gonna be in situations you've never been in before. That's physical too, bro. That's a physical withdrawal. You're talking about, it's not just, I'm gonna man up and go to the gym.

It's, that's chemicals and your brain and there's all kinds of shit there and involved that you aren't gonna be able to Can will yourself through I don't think you know what I mean. Yeah, what's up Aaron? I'm the only person who's actually friends here With Aaron like you guys don't Friends with Aaron you don't know Aaron the way I know Aaron Aaron you used to be a lover you quit smoking every other month Yeah, you quit drinking Why couldn't you just say that yeah Yeah, why do you have to? Yeah, why do you get a throw?

Because no, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, Louis, Bobby, Bobby in front of you. Yeah, I'm in front of you. I mean, I'm really in front of Bobby. Absolutely. Yeah, fuck yeah. Um, you know, you're angry today. Where's the guy I wanted to go?

Yeah, that's all I wanted to do. Yeah, it was unnecessary. It was a good idea. And the point I'm trying to make is everyone is getting all sensitive, like, oh, come on, buddy, it's's like I'm trying to help him out. No, no getting sensitive Aaron's having a fucking bad hour and one hour Aaron's gonna fucking be back He's gonna do a bump a blow do some more steroids it is gonna fucking fuck a check I know Aaron he quit smoking and drinking every other month

Oh cigarettes stripping lobsters. I see him Best I love a fist just swung over these microphone and mushed his fucking nose. We'd wake him up. Because we're friends, we're all friends. I don't say I say I've could attack them. I'll three of you look kind of similar, you know. Wow, looks like the evolution of him.

So it's not really true. Yeah, we look like, I think I made this joke. I suggest dude, I mean, honestly, you quit this, you quit both of them. I don't suggest that. Even when I got sober, they told me, we're not gonna have you quit smoking. You're not gonna quit anything

but drugs and alcohol right now. We almost re-hap for a year. And they were like, you can maybe in a month or two, we can talk about quitting cigarettes, but you we're not gonna put you through that You need to focus in on one thing and the hardest thing Justly booze I mean he's telling you that you quit it smoking every other month or whatever that fuck I get that But this might be the time, but I wouldn't put myself through that Especially this business you're talking about be alone me and anxiety and comedy and money and all this other shit

you got going on. I don't think the fucking gym's gonna help you. I would get an electronic cigarette or some gum, at least to break when you get to this point where you're like fucking, that thousand yard stare because you don't know what the fuck's happening. Chew a little piece of gum, it will make you a level you off a little bit, you know what I mean?

Fuck yeah. Aaron's depression is really making me bummed out. Yeah, wow. You don't judge. I just been, we've all been there except for Lewis. We've all been there. Well you're a sociopath and you don't have human emotions. It's hard to be a pro-wrestling.

What are you talking about? We have been depressed, are you kidding me? You said you didn't see the Ninage Nail Scar that I carved into my arm. Oh, well we didn't know you were fucking 13 year old fat girl since an Adi said. I've been depressed. So you kidding me? You said you're gonna see the Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung Nung N Yeah, I can lose her on a bus. Yeah, look at that guy on the bus cut himself. Dick. I want to know why I want to know why Lewis is mad at Kelly. I'm always mad at me.

No, I'm always mad at you, but why? Because she's an asshole. He's always mad at me for the, I don't know. I don't know. It doesn't matter what day. Harold Rames died. True. And Kelly, Kelly killed him.

So I'm mad about Kelly killing how her little... How did she kill him? He saw her act when he actually hung himself in the back of a comedy club. What, what happened? She died. And then she posted on a wall like a little tribute thing where she said, Harold Ramas died. I'm really sad. No, I didn't.

I'm watching him. I'm watching him because he's slowly moving closer to fucking Lewis. I would love to see one punch came the cheek in Do you know that classic clip of the guy in the the ladies in a blue dress and there's a bear and there's a guy in a Karate game. I love air just starts fucking. Yes. That's what I wanted to see the preferable. I would love to see him hit him so hard that his eye dies And yes, he just has a hole just that empty socket. Lewis is on stage. Just trying to get a cheap eye glass eyes Hey, you guys want to know it's weird. It just falls out of his face. His son just grab it Throw it across the room here fly across a target floor. I'm not afraid of Aaron fucking burn. We know You're not afraid of anybody Fuck guy Bobby's about to be the guy in the karate

He getting the bear off of you No I wouldn't I wouldn't I'd let it go down I'd let him break every fucking thing in the studio Just to see Lewis get his come-up and Buy a copy on TV because his face is ruined Just got by a bald guy with a little more stamina than me You punch him for me when you're Aaron What are you mad at Jesus?

I defend your honor, sir No listen, don't listen This is what Kelly. Listen, you're not gonna fucking stick out. Kelly is like, Kelly is a fucking guy in the bar that me and Dave almost attacked for no reason. It wasn't even the right guy for you because we're friends. You're gonna defend fucking Kelly for stuka. Alright, quick. Kelly is like, Kelly is like the girl friend of a biker who's like, STAMM! STAMM! He touched your back! STAMM! I'm in there, guys, I was just trying to have a beer

and she's like, you want a fuck beer, you a faggot! STAMM! And then Aaron's like, I was just trying to be nice. She's like, how are you pussy bitch? I'm son Fights of guys,

they're bigger than my boyfriend. Like, go on, to fit my honor. You're a real man. He's fucking huge. What the fuck is the problem with Kell? So, what would you put in your wall? I put a real man, he's fucking huge. What the fuck is the problem with California? So what'd you put in your wall? I put on my wall.

Howard Raymond's was one of the reasons why I moved to America and studied in second city. What? What? And what? Which one of the reasons you moved to America? And studied at Second City. I fucking hate it.

You studied at Second City? Yeah. Where? In Chicago? You moved moved to Chicago first then came to New York Yeah, I didn't know that snowballs man. That's a maze not man I just didn't know that I like scope because for my you can only see his hair above the computer Then I'll send his head rises up. He's like Wilson from home and Give good advice over here to see So she wrote that on her wall. One of the reasons I moved to America to study things.

So I wrote underneath it, oh my God, I wish he would have died four years ago. That's probably, it was funny. He deleted the ball box. Which is infuriating. Because my dad messed up. You know, he knows you stink. What did you stop?

What did your dad say? My dad was like, he was like, he was like, who's that? He doesn't understand, he was like, who's that? Like, he doesn't understand. He's like, who's that? Yeah, he doesn't understand. And Kelly's friend just saying, I hope she dies. I'd advise her.

I hope I wish Harold were the sheady. You're like one of those shitty, oh, and a fans. It was more creative than that. I said, I wish Harold Rames died for years ago. So what? So she wouldn't have moved here. I get it. I'm like, I like Kelly, I'm the color dad. I've been meaning to tell you this.

My best friend is a Puerto Rican animal. Ha ha ha ha. I'm really sorry. You sitting down? He, where? I'm calling friends with a Puerto Rican ape. Hey, hey, hey, hey. I have your closest fucking friend, now.

He knows that when he's friends with me, and no, because he was on Facebook chat And he was like what does that mean? And it's just like I can't explain to dad the relationship we have yeah My dad is you know, he's an immigrant. He's a little older and it's like it's Imagine being a little one-a-month guy. So Louis is like your American dad. Yeah, where did he immigrate from? I would that's the most dysfunctional family. Where did he immigrate? He's not an immigrant. Is he? Yes, he came from Italy. Yes, but to the wrong country from me from

America, so you deleted why did you know what I'm in funnier if you blocked him? Yeah, why won't you actually thought about it? But then I thought no because the stuff with the podcast and of course too much trouble Yeah, because he never says anything nice. It's just really nice What about the time that I posted a video of you killing you fucking bitch? Why do you fucking do that? How you're never gonna make it also ever can we create you understand that you're never you're gonna get to the next level of friends in the Even if last comic-stamp they choose you what are you. You're gonna get there and then the exacts NBC, you're gonna take it a lunch,

and you're gonna think you're comfortable with you do, you get your comfortable. Look at this, Fraga. And you're gonna, yeah, exactly. Fuck you, you fucking cunt. Oh, really? I disagree, I disagree. Here's what I think is gonna have.

Real ass dude, Lewis is gonna have a meeting, and he's gonna shit his pants and crumble. Yeah, he's gonna show up in like a suit that he fucking rented. Sweating all awkwardly. Well, you see, I think we're gonna be trembling like a co-catic. For the second quarter of the year. Lewis, I think all that's MMA is when the fastest growing Sports Suck a dick look at his video I suck dick

Shorter eyes he won't even do that he'll fold remember major league 2 Yeah, when Bob Euker passes out drunk in the ass, Manny to take over? That's what Louis will be like. Like this. Hit. Louis will be trembling in a tiny suit. Meanwhile, he'll be like, fuck you, Kelly on Facebook and Kelly's immigrant father will be like, Gany, Nimen was so mean to you. And at that point, Kelly has a show because she's foreign in a woman and the talent doesn't matter.

Oh, I don't know. You know what? I don't have to do it. If fucking girl called picked this fucking fat toy about it, just. Oh my god, that is intense. Oh my god, that is intense. Kelly is funny enough to be on girl code.

She's just too fat. She needs to just get in shape, and it's over. Oh my god, it's twice way fatter women than her in girl code. And by the way, they're like fattches. That's what's happening. Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.

Not only that. Hello, who's this? Hello. fatter women and her and they're like that's it's a hang on hang on hang on hello who's this hello hey what's up buddy jimmy you're on the uh... yk wd podcast of course i am the jim the famous jim's superco everybody

we're just trash in luis gomes we're saying that he's got shut up what's up baby we're saying that he's gonna go as shut up top what's up baby we're saying that that he's gonna you're gonna get him some type of a deal and he'll go to the room and he's gonna crumble in front of some execs that'll never happen ha ha yeah stop trying to put the what you did last week when we send you in he was in Jamaica last week

that's a lot I had no meaning so are you glad to be back Jim I'm thrilled to be back all right great You guys all good? Everybody good? Yeah, we're all good. Thanks, man. I feel better now than I did at the beginning. Yeah, everybody. Yeah.

Thanks for listening. I'm Aaron Berg. We've never met. Yeah, I'm sure he kind of looks like Berg. Right? Yeah, you do look like Aaron Berg. Much more marketable than both your other clients. Muscles, it's got a book coming out.

A great actor. Yeah, he really is what you want me and Lewis to be. They're like Andy's and he's Jewish so we can come over in your neighborhood on the summertime. You guys are like station in Bill and Ted's bogus journey. You came together. You were former. And I've got credits already.

Hi, he's going to hang up on me. Hi, Jim. I'll talk to you later. I'll talk to you later. I'll talk to you later, buddy. Jim, Jim server cover, everybody. Yeah. Yeah, Lewis, you know what? If anyone in this room got fame, like extreme fame,

you know, like Kardashian fame, Lewis is the only one. Why would you? Kardashian fame, why would you be? I'm talking like, like, Cosby, you wanna go comedian or do you do that? No, no, no, I mean like a baby. Like what fame?

It's like walk down the street to your household room became a household name nuts like everyone knew him I think Lewis is the only one that would really change in this room Like I think Dan I think Dan you'd always be the same. You just do be a hyper-contract. You'll still be a good guy Dan's a hyper-contractor. You think I changed for the worst Yeah, but I think Dan you look But you think I changed for the worst Yeah, but I think you are Worse version of Lewis you're a hyperconvient, but I'm a scopo just fucking nailed a great joke what? And nobody respects scopo

That was a neighbor Great what you say you know he goes she goes let him say it Yeah, you know the cause of worst shit. I'm gonna lose now you gotta get in the context. That's why he shouldn't have said it You should let me know that listen fucking worst bald guy in the world. I said, I was like, Kelly, you think I'd change for the worse? And then he said, there's a worse version of Lewis. I don't, I get it with my fucking guarantee.

He's gonna get on the set of something and he's gonna fucking anger somebody. You know what I'm gonna do? What he's gonna do is gonna get people, hey, hey, hey, hey, yeah. And he's gonna beat, because he's very charismatic and charming. And then what he does is he gets too comfortable and then he's gonna fucking be Lewis.

And someone's gonna go, I don't fuck you, you fuck. And then it doesn't poke the bear. Lewis, great idea. We have you playing Callista Flock, Hard's neighbor. You're gonna be fun. Yeah. First day on stage, I'm like, you're a fucking skinny, can't aren't you? Yeah.

You're gonna be like, I don't want to work with this guy. Like, okay, we've got about 40 other guys. Hey, look, you're a fucking skinny, can't he, aren't you? Yeah. And she's gonna be like, I don't wanna work with this guy. Okay, we've got about four together. Hey, look, you're gonna throw it at me. And Lewis is very self-serving, so I've learned this this weekend. We had a great time at the... That's bullshit. I'm so angry about why he does this.

Comedy connection was unfuckin' believable this weekend. Fun club. Unbelieveable. I sold 27 posters with my charisma. Let's go with this charisma. The first night I tell him to sell posters. And we know how you are as a business manager. I've watched you real early.

I go, dude, so I'm looking, I'm yelling at him. He's taking photos. Thanks for coming to the show. He's in front of me, by the way, too. So the people, so the people got to go to him first, take a photo. And I'm like like sell the fucking Some I look over there's a girl holding a 20 like I just and I she's like I just want to buy a poster He's sitting there with my hey, come on face fuck

I go Lewis take the fucking money and sell a poster. I know what I like so then you can doesn't matter what you don't like story It doesn't matter what you don't like story. Yes, yes. Oh. No, no. No. No. So it doesn't, this is what happens. So then he sells fucking three or four.

It's like shit. I go to him the next night. I go, hey, Lewis, I'm going to give you half of what we make. Wow. Right? Wow. When it turned up to oh shit 27 posters

20 fucking seven But when he went oh my the first night when he was like oh, I'm just doing this because I'm I know if he thought he was making it as Soon as it was half he was like he did the math. He was like oh shit Fucking 27 posters He was like, oh shit. Fucking 27 posters. Can I define myself instead of you being a fucking Nazi? Boy, those have been a real diva. You really?

Hahaha. Do you always have your opener cell shit for you too? I don't like, I just want to say he doesn't respect. Alright. Hang on, here we go. Yeah, but here's the thing though. I'm out of it. You know, here's the thing.

It's not an opener selling thing. I'm, we're selling thing. You're selling it. I'm giving you half the fucking money You're much money. He made this weekend for fucking selling a poster. How much of the posters 20 bucks each $10 and let me tell you something 135 dollars two seventy two seventy I got comfortable and that's why I started selling more posters It had nothing to do with me not trying the photo. He got comfortable. He got comfortable, and he became a better salesman when he knew some cash.

That's what Bobby, I knew, come on. The last time I went, you gave me half the money from the posters. That's not true. It's not true. That is absolutely not true. It's true. No, it wasn't. Actually, no bullshit, dude.

You might have given me more than a half. Then you owe me money. What, why? I want money. What why? What kind of cut? Joe Mike he turned everybody down. Yeah, no Lewis you did this Fucking grab another Mike's Bobby for being a totalitarian dictator That he sometimes can be and I still don't have a lot of Mike, but I'll

From the diaphragm and get on someone else's mic on Joe's no dude That's what pissed me off cuz I knew you were gonna give me a fucking kick back and I nothing to do with the money and for you to Hopefully for you to fucking tell the story that I'm like this self-serving asshole I fucking I'm you're fucking dude on the road. I'm like this self-serving asshole. I fucking I'm your fucking dude on the road I'm your dude so then fucking I will you bottom back I will fuck you to bend your fucking back remember having that black guy one time what about the black on the bookstore? That was me. Oh let me guess

I'm gonna say that it wasn't good Lewis went why is your black guy in the bookstore? What it probably what it might give him directions? You can read to hot now. I'm boke that it wasn't good. Louis, wait, why is there a black guy in the bookstore? What did Bobby give him directions? You can't read. I'm too hot now. I'm Bokey Woodbine. Give him directions, because he was lost. That's the joke.

I was going for it. There we go. The guy in the bookstore has not a deal with you. I fuck, the guy in the bookstore was going in. I said, excuse me, can ask you a question. And he goes, we're not opening. Blue right by me, like fuck you. And I open the door, I go, you're a fucking asshole.

I had a question. And he goes, I told her to answer it, that he steps in, he goes, you're a dickhead. He's just, so he just, he just enhanced, yeah. My dick, yeah, I got you fucking back. Right. Yeah, okay, good. Dude, this is the guy that just punches.

Lewis is like, you have a small disagreement on the street and then the guy gets cold cocked and you're like, Lewis, why'd you do that? He he's like here's being aggressive towards you? You're a good no one no one talks to my Bobby. I mean 27 posters. It's good. Yeah I have a theory that Bobby motivated move a lot of units motivated. Yeah, dude And I fucking first night. Hey, I'll stand in front of you. Student front of me like a That's I thought he was gonna take it his own chisers and go hey the first night

The first night we were inside the condor is in the building the condor What's up? No, no, we were no hang on second. Okay. What do you got what are you doing? I got to get in my room. What's up? What are you not going to do weird shit, right? Yeah? Rub on that real quick He pointed to Lewis I was on your side. Thank you, no, I love that guy. He doesn't really like you that much.

He likes me. He likes you to be an adversary to Bobby. He does hide here. He does say hide here. That means nothing. Why don't you have a beetle? Why don't you have him over the house for dinner? Well, like with my wife and my daughter.

Yeah, I met your wife and my daughter. Yeah. I met your wife first of all. Oh. Do I say anything after that? Please say something. Please be right now. Please be you. I love a nice hot band at the cell.

It's like watching a dog. It's like a dog run on a lake that's frozen. Like don't run on that lake. Don't run on that lake. I just said she's a dog. God. Come on. Curly.

Curly. Come back to the bank. Oh god. He's going to die. He's going to fucking die. Oh fuck. I'll do it because Dan is always on fire. I do it do it yourself Don't take that away from me. I said I should approve. He's not a leader. I listen, Kelly. Don't fucking laugh. Manipule. You're right. Get him, Jimbo. He touched your back. You're faggot. You want to fuck me? No. You want this pussy? Then fight that big black kid. Aaron has left. I haven't been able to follow the last 50 seconds of the black. Fifty seconds. We went crazy. I don't know what the hell just happened. No, I came in.

Well, we went off on a tangent with Lewis, but we originally started out with Kelly left on her wall that, what was it again? She wrote that the reason she moved to New York. One of. One of the reasons she moved to New York is because of Harold Ramesh. We've two America. All of those comments I hate. No offense.

Some guy in my wall, some improv douche writes. I hope Harold Raimus and John Belouchy are up there talking about the good old days And he's like he doesn't know him. He's just like some improv clown About fucking you know somebody dying celebrity that you like or somebody in artists you like dying You know somebody dying celebrity that you like or somebody in artists you like dying Name Just any artist because what's his name just died of heroin overdose? I can remember his name Phil you really stink at this what's his name did this and who's that? Uncle Phil died a lot of people upset about every are you my Nana? You just don't know people's names. I know them by their characters on the most famous shows

Who's the black fella that died? I I agree though, it's like you. He has the sweatest. How many people, why did you have to let people know that that personal thing that only you knew? Because, what was that doing for you? Well, what were you doing for other people? The less people know a little bit more about me, that no one, well no one knew that I used to live in Chicago.

And did you really, when you were on a plane from Australia to New York, raimus was on your it wasn't what he alain or bill calls for your there we go what's he miss the director of the actor uh... no what grandaday's one of my favorite films that was the director now where it was all of them was him in like a restaurant you wrote it in the box busters it's a big deal

of that we're carry out our body types slimer now i get it uh... not that funny to me body type slimer now I get it To me slimer But he has a row back to school go supposed to by the way a little overrated back to school a little overrated too Go back yourself. Are you shit? I think Bill Murray is hilarious and ghost busters everyone else is forgettable agreed You know the original cast though any Murphy Not only that John Belushi is supposed to be Peter make right right and John Candy was supposed to play Mick Rick Moranis as well And what Eddie Murphy was supposed to be and he's supposed to be the black ghostbuster. Yeah really wow

He was a black he was supposed to be that black guy. Yeah, he's not he's not black guy's not funny. No not at all He's the black guy think about the scene where he talks to the mayor. How much funnier that would have been if it was any more Some black dude. Yeah, diversity. That's what that made. That's what comes to diversity. That's what they wanted to sign fell to do, put a black guy in. And then he said, I don't have black friends, except for the black opener. I got a big point about this sign felled race stuff, and it has to do with last comic

standing. All right, guys. I like people talking race, the race and comedy and diversity. When I did last comic standing in 2010. You know, no one gets bored easy, so speed it up. Last comic standing, I did it in 2010. Me and three other white guys were completely edited off the show.

Edit it off. That's not because you're raising your comedy. Can you imagine if four black guys got completely cut off, NBC would be shut down. That's true. If they just cut out four black people. I'm sure they did cut out for black people i'm sure they could have for black people no they've cut out for people all white heterosexual men

how many black people are in the show how about this well there was a black woman who did not advance at gotham in the in round one did not advance and they sent her anyway they sent her and she didn't advance so they added a black and took four white people away yet fucking you imagine that was reversed because what the coming white people away. Yeah, it's fucking you imagine if that was reversed Think about what to come down on sign fells. It's not a competition. It's a it's a casting call I know, but I'm just saying that's the point Yeah, but I mean they do that with everything in Hollywood

I mean even the clothes people wear is because of the mood they're trying to set and the cinematographer But do you see my point of sign felt getting shit because he's only had two black people on right And it's a whole thing of like the industry is it's racist and there's race and he should have all the it should be diversified But NBC had a I'm sure well, it was for the sake of the here's a problem and I do agree that's wrong But for the sake of diversity the edited for the Generic like I said, but there was no outrage for the sake of diversity though So they want to make the show more diverse and not just have white guys that are tall glasses

So they took you out to diversify the show. So it's not the same argument. What do you mean? Of course it is? No, it's not because it happens one way nobody cares Because you're not the other way because you're not a minority, but they take you out because you're white Why did black people in because the black so so right they took you But they did we have too many white people. They did I don't know they had too many white people I think of a couple but I'm how is Joe was more Julie than no I don't know what's going on there. They had too many white people Jesus What are you saying?

I can't believe that not one of you would go of course crazy is more In NBC Changed the show because they said we have too many black people we got to take some of these black people out there would be a public outcry just like to many white people they probably just i don't want to say they didn't think you were funny but maybe they didn't think you were funny but i already advanced i will have made it but i don't care about whether you're

they care was you know they want to put on a good TV show that was funny enough to admit so it just happens that all do they want to go that they go to the demographics there's no joe list demographic there's no it's not about money i understand all of you understand it what is an understanding hang on if this would have happened reverse and they would have taken out they're like we got too many black guys let's take out these three black guys every website on earth of course and he's he's every sign fell because he's only had two black people on his show here's the thing is follow the sign fell thing or my crazy

this is always forgotten this argument like we this arguments happen downstairs with Woody Allen movies and with sign felt and it's like sign felt in Larry David were writing what they know. They don't live in a black neighborhood. They don't have a lot of black influence on them. So why would they write something that they don't know? They could have thrown in a couple for, you know, almost people or. No, maybe.

Well, there was like a fairway driver. And you guys were flying. They're not black, trust me. And you guys are implying it wasn't Ray. So we were editing it out because we weren't funny enough. Okay, fair enough. But, so, what if they said these four black guys weren't funny enough We're taking them out of the show, but you could have been that they would be outrate the way you look

He has a lot of white rage. That's what I'm saying Just right, but just bother you the sign felt thing. Does it not bother all of you? Did we all bail? I wouldn't call this rage? I think I just don't really I don't really care. I look I think Signfield doesn't really give a fuck I don't really care about some fucking bloggers having rage again Seinfeld, but not having black guys in his spare. I know you don't care,

but you do acknowledge that like there was like 300 bloggers and post and I assume your Facebook post feed was all blown up with people being like, that's fucking crazy. Grace says I think most people say it gives a fuck. I have a lot of comics. I don't know. Comics didn't really give a fuck What no comics no comics were mad at sign felt were they oh my god

My whole feed are you insane you need to stop hanging out with those fucking loser comics? I'm hanging out it's my Facebook feed I hang out with you. You dummy You're fucking picnic feed that you have I fucking stand by that picnic is a balloon guys just like the balloon was fucking on the ground it was a great picnic haha it was a great picnic and you loved it it was a great picnic for an interval so like during that it was good we lost

stunk for two hours sorry there wasn't enough cake oh i didn't need to go fat i didn't need cake at that part i brought fruit nuts i'm annoyed that you're not acknowledging this i think it's just a sign of that's just how to be not I've been not we were talking about it for 15 minutes, but you're acting like I'm crazy. No, I'm not I haven't said anything and I haven't said anything like that

I've been letting everybody talk and get their opinions across. We were gonna do just fucking take over I don't think you're crazy. I get what you're saying is Joe crazy. Can you imagine? What would happen with the blogs and the posts? I think Joe I think that if you got through out of those four people and they move you ahead and of another four white people Didn't get through you wouldn't give a shit. No, of course I would that's what I'm talking about It is nothing I mean I'm over it now. It was fucking years ago. I'm just saying it's a good It's a good argument before the sign that that's not something was a huge I just do well, but the point I'm making I think I'm really getting through to you is that if you're if they're doing it for the

Say if people are mad that sign felt is not diverse enough You want more black people in the show? It's not the same argument of being mad that you were taking out a last Comic-sand because they just took you out because it wanted more diversity It's a blue is sound like like a prisoner that's trying to be sophisticated? He's like, after I got my GED and say I'm quite out. I don't think you're understanding my point of view right now. I'm trying to articulate the right.

My probation officer says I should start off sentences with I feel. And I feel like you're not listening to my sentence right now. And that's why I murdered my wife, because she didn't listen to me either. The sign felt thing was. That's because you're not listening to my sentence right now and that's why I murdered my wife because she didn't listen to me either The sign felt thing was that you're making my point. No, I'm not kiss you are kiss kiss. No, my air I think a little Aaron you're right a little air. You okay? Little I was a Robin Hood gang. This is just like in the Mary themes. How are you doing buddy? I'm all right You okay? Yeah, you look a little frustrated. Yeah, what's wrong?

I think that Joe does have some white rage that he hasn't addressed at some point well I think he covers it very well with his liberal guys, but I think deep down he either hates black people Whoa Joe H blacks Joe H blacks Hick's name on the black Hick's now on the black Hey, good Yeah, you're back later. All right fucking Harvard But we see it challenge

Lewis is making my point exactly nobody is upset No people aren't upset you're saying people aren't upset because they went there's too many white people We're taking these white people out so nobody's upset about that. That's exactly my point No, but they went there's too many black people were taking black out so nobody's upset about that that's exactly my point if they were to many black people were taking black and white people they say there were too many white people or they would never say that but you're just presuming that's the reason it took you out maybe we weren't funny but even so so maybe you're arguing you're implying that maybe the

four of us take the maybe out the four of us guys weren't funny enough even still if they went these for all four of these people weren't funny enough, even still, if they went, all four of these people weren't funny enough and they all four happened to be part of the guy, they would be public. They would be public. Tom Shilu is the other one. Okay, right. Let's vote of tiny mouths.

First of all, maybe they just didn't want tiny mouths. There's a statistical problem with your argument. I might want to get to, you know, to, to exact about it, but blacks are only 12% of the population. Right, go. So taking out four white people where whites are the all-worn majority would be like taking out pure black person that's why no fortunately is a

fucking a college grad but a lawyer and he owns a a business but of course that's what you're thinking too logical for the industry i'm sorry for taking too long to for the industry to be five asshole let's ron were Before the end, you should be f**king asshole. What's wrong with you? And I do think, I mean, I think it's pretty clear that they just had, like, Lewis said, I think they were like, we have too many white guys

on the show. I think that's a great point, though. I mean, taking out, there's so many white guys, you know what I mean? But that's an argument towards, also, there's some, again, like, one of our women comics, if they took out four women comics,

they'd be ridiculous. It'd be out great, as well. But there's only two that are in it every year there's the white guys outweigh the blacks and the women comics every time they do that speaking to my point to there should be more guys because there's more white guys do in common not out there's not more black guys or women doing comedy do they have to get people they have to get black people to tune into the show they have to have a certain amount of black pills remember when it's our Asians, I know I'm just saying

I'm just saying it's not been worse there that fan was the funniest thing in the country figure in Hennessy But if it was reversed I'm saying people would be fucking out right yeah Oh How are you gonna plug the new Kevin Hart movie and have tampon commercials if you don't have enough fucking black And that's and that's a point towards the sign felt thing. Or like sign felt like where it's all, all these people were outraged, it's all men, otherwise it all white guys.

It's just too regent. It's just like, well, that's the point. There's way more white people. It's not too separate issues. It's fucking outcry for more diversity. You drive me out of my mind that you're not getting what I'm trying to do. I understand what you're saying.

I think you're incorrect. So you're a more diversity? Or like if you had your way, they would have, they would have, they would have cut you four guys out and cut out some black people or you think they should have kept you in because you're well, what, what do you want to see happen? You wave your magic wand. You would see funny wind, no, overall. Yeah, I mean, obviously I look at those people that be on the show. Harold Raymond is looking down from heaven right now.

You're probably for affirmative action like how she did it. What do you mean? Like you'd support affirmative action. I don't understand it completely. I don't support all of it. Like I think that in the NFL that you have to interview a black coach, I think is the most insane thing. Ever, I think you're an idiot if you don't think

that's insane. But like that's a rule in the NFL by rule. You get fined if you don't interview a black coach. You know that even in Hollywood, it goes, they have to interview a certain race amount of race for a part any part equal opportunity you have to you have to you have to audition a certain amount of people even if they said we want danso to this is his part they still have to audition a certain amount of people

what is before they give it to dan which is silly not racially though. Yeah. No racially. Yeah. Yeah. I know you really got interview black people. Yeah. It's a bit... Nothing? It's better off. I'm in your implying. I was like, you're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh-huh, then Lewis would get you.

You said. But don't you think that's insane? I do. I'm surprised that you're so... I agree with you, Joe. I agree with you. I'm surprised that I'm just saying. I'm from Boston too, so I'm racist.

Henry Rollins? I am not racist. I'm making a valid point, I think. I'm just saying they're fucking different than us. They shouldn't fucking be in the same restaurants. Dude, if you're gonna fucking take three of my fucking wife friends out, you better take some of those fucking colladoods out too. And a couple of those cons, because they're not funny neither.

And if you're gonna, well, you're a fucking Indian, wonder what the fuck is that? Dude, kid. I'm just saying, if it was was reversed it would be insane. Haircare meets high fashion. A Vedas holiday collaboration with Couture Fashion Designer Iris Von Herpen is now available for you. A gift collection inspired by our planet.

Every gift is a celebration of artistry and nature, featuring high performance, 100% vegan, hair, body and self-care gift sets. Discover Gives of Luxury at eveta.com 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-1, Tres por uno, tres por uno Esta es la tres por uno señal Que significa que ya puedes aprovechar tu del tres por uno en medianas a domicilio solo pidiendo el like ¿Saparao? Tres por uno, tres por uno Ah no no no ¡Dominos! Pizza If it was the same world

Huffington post would be fucking insane And all the other blogs Of course they would Is that what they do They get insane over here Frog news would be excited Oh they'd be Just flickin' their beans All over the news would be excited. Oh, they'd be just Flick about being all of them are just like, oh god. What happened? White people got fired. Oh, I heard on MSNBC

That there's some some commentator described somebody as white trash Yeah, and it went away like nobody even thought twice about it. Why they got all those trash white trash I ain't trash white trash is offensive to all races to me I Gary go and mid this point before me. So I'm just using this, but if you say white trash that implies anything that's not white is trash That's the implication there You don't think so Can we have funny when someone's going on about that? Listen to you, that's a implication.

No, that's logically those things. Sorry, but that's on my point. My point is that if you could say white trash, could you say black trash? That's what I call them. Could you? Hey, see that when you see what people, what's the equivalent?

You can't describe. You can describe somebody as white and then some epithet, right? White trash, right? You cannot describe any other race. Can you please tell, in any kind of experience? Lewis would epithet any way.

Lewis, you can describe it as, but I'm really sorry. First of all, Bobby, I don't even know if you said the right word after you said it, you fucking asshole. So I make it like you're smarter than me too. You make me furious with that as well. Oh, do I? You're not smarter than me. Dan's not smarter than me.

Joe's a little smarter than me. I am. Oh, you turned down's not smarter than me I Said I was smart I think that was smart I got his education in fucking jewelry fuck you But Bobby Prince of the posters that you sell that you sell That y'all leave me hanging you fucking bald and shape cock sucker. Hope your book fails

Promoted it so well That's him what that's him he said it wasn't a book I was promoting it. I said your copy It's a shape of a book he wrote a book Let me get the reading if I describe someone as a cheap Jew. I'm implying that all of the races are cheap. Yes, that would go almost point is Um, I don't think that adds up On a White trash means it all are all right. They own a comedy club Then you say you cheap you just means all the races are cheap just drop the word cheap That you would like to think give me a moment to over it. It's hard to take the reward

He said June blight's cheap Jesus Christ Trying to think give me a moment to over it's hard to June Jesus Christ I wouldn't say that yeah, you're gonna be on TV. I know Network meeting I walk in your throat 30 seconds and he some hateful Jewish Like Louis cat I don't know what's the mean that's like Louis cat That's not true. I don't know. What does it mean? That's like Louis cat? What that mean? He like Louis. Oh Oh you're the same

You're just like Louis that's he's lazy you just like that other Jew the top of a glass That's so weird because another person of your same elixir I mean to them too Weird you're fucking just like him. You're mad that I'm a f- No, I make fun of fucking everything. I made eight black jokes today. Alright, we'll release a lamp in Ali. We get it.

I fuck black guys, I get black guys. I fuck black guys, I get fucking feelin' it. It's because humans only think about themselves. The Jews only here want to make the Jew jokes. The black guys only here want to make the black jokes. Fucking... Handsome guys here when we make Do you make jokes about us too? I'm not a nice. I'm racist all together racist my favorite line ever hunter

Assumption he has a Jewish. I do not know. He does yeah you know He does my two best friends are Jewish. Oh yeah, I don't like you. There's a bailout. He's got a noise issue And I'm not Jewish Oh my black friends what my boyfriend loves you best friends are fucking Jewish your Jew best friend Dave Question Jew best friends are Jewish Dave a nalagher representation of Jewish that's a shitty Remastered a friend My two best friends are fucking nothing

I buddy I'll see you later. Thank you. See you. I don't hate you. So come on. Please don't think man I don't care if you hate you Ah Lewis H.J.s. Lewis you're never working here At least it's only cuz I hate you is not cuz I'm not funny. Oh He just he goes Lewis is never working here and he goes at least he goes at least it's because I hate Jews It's not because I'm not funny Golly god damn please yeah help him Kelly. What are you writing down show titles?

Yeah, she you can leave it All right, so anyways, we're gonna take a little break here live people do you have that five minutes sign up there somewhere? All right, we're gonna take a little break here live people do you have that five-minute sign up there somewhere? All right, we're gonna take a little break Hello go to camera one. What is it? Check That means mine must be coming soon Why would you need one you make millions? $800 million yeah

800 million false just asking for a penny How much is it? $120 yeah, that's a good right cash check. That's pretty good. That's from Amazon too, right? No, we didn't take anything because you took your show and left Wait you wait wait that no way to you see what you get from serious Wait you wait wait that no wait. Do you see what you get from serious? Zilch I listen go to camera one no, I'm your making juice look bad now. I check it out $120 This is amazing Lewis was wrong

Yeah, it's is for me We're gonna take We'll be right back in five minutes. We're gonna take a piss break and then do some commercials Stay tuned commercials stay tuned. That's really cool. You guys cheered me up. That was way better. All right, Kelly check it. Yeah. All right. So anyway, so all right, give me that. You got that? Yeah, there you go. You guys know that I'm a big fan of HuluPlus.com. You guys know I've been plugging the hell out of this company for a while. All right, well, whooplus.com is awesome. I joined it. It's great. And I got a deal for you guys. Whooplus let you watch thousands of hit TV shows and movies,

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So you get the extended free trial and they know we sent you go to Hulu plus dot com slash Dude right now for your extended two week free trial You guys go to Amazon On our page you guys gonna buy anything off the internet use our link. It's simple book market You buy something buy it through Amazon They mail it right to you do a lot of times. It's free shipping and it says five days, but it never takes five It's always like two two days and it's use our link. We're going to make a little cash off of it. Okay. And of course, tweakedoddo.com. You need headphones. You want to buy a gift for somebody. You want to just make

somebody happy. Give them a pair of headphones. Everybody has smart phones. Everybody has, uh, you know, uh, something a tablet that they need headphones for. And everybody loses them and they break. Go to tweedaudio.com for some of the most amazing headphones out there at a cheap price. Inexpensive headphones but not cheap. They have different colors, different styles, mic, non-miced, and you get to choose. And guess what, 33% off.

If you use the code word what Kelly? The code word is dude. It's always fucking dude dude almost all the time Always 33% off free shipping and a lifetime a limited warranty at tweaked audio dot com code word dude go now and I got a couple of other things happening the Jersey comedy festival April April 2nd Jersey City comedy Festival, we're doing a live, you know what dude podcast. Joe, you going?

You want it, right? Yeah. Yeah. Joe list is on it. Dan Sotas on it. Louis is on it. You didn't tell anybody? Yeah, everyone knows.

Did you ask them to be on it? You didn't tell anybody? Yeah, everyone everyone knows Did you ask them to be on it? Well Lewis was the only one who said he didn't know about it, but everyone else knew about it Tell me that's what you did. Yeah, you asked everyone. It's the first time it's become an official that I've heard even somebody So it's happening. Yeah, yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no tell everybody? I thought you told everyone, because everyone knew about it when I sent out and like confirming everybody. He was the only one who came back saying I never heard about it. But I thought that we talked about it when you were in a room and why not here, because for the sake of your hosting. The only way I even knew the date was because the person running it Facebook the date like

yesterday. No, but before yesterday about a week and a half ago, I sent you a message. Yeah, you sent me a message saying not to talk about it or something about it. This should put asses in the seats. No, I just, I just, I just let it in. I'm just like, you mid, yeah, I'm mid read. Yeah, anyways, Jersey City Comedy Festival, Dan Soda Joe Liss Kelly Vistuga Chris Scopo and I and I guess Lewis Well, maybe no, maybe he's not available. I don't know. We do it in New York, though

Joe it's Jersey City. No, I know, but Maybe like somewhere else in New Jersey. Am I being attacked by Chris Scopo and Kelly Vistuga on my fucking availability? You know what you're fucking minds? Why, why? Then can attack me on my availability. Joke and attack me on my availability. Your mother fuckers just do open mics. Yeah, but you don't really bring it, but they do him poorly. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And I think it's yeah, and I've survived anyway, okay anyways Jersey City comedy festival April second

We're gonna do a live show My birthday's April 6 Louis is gonna sell posters at her The day after my birthday the day four days before my birthday We're gonna have a special birthday cake ceremony for Joe For Joe and Lewis we have a lot of areas in the fucking house. Yeah for Joe for Joe and Lewis we have a lot of areas in the fucking house yeah

that is the so where can they get tickets Kelly is there any available? Well the Jersey's going to have many festival websites but it hasn't really been set up yet but we can still talk about it and then we got this great thing is this coming out I mean that's the one is this happening Let's go up, it's coming out I haven't got my glasses

The Bonnie and Rich thing Yeah this show should be out on the 10th and this is tomorrow night They They're getting married, right? Tomorrow night, March 11th, the Rich and Bonnie podcast live, which I am excited about. I'm producing that with Kelly, putting it all together. It's going to be live. They have a special guest and it's Ron Bennington. Wow.

Is this special guest? That's fun. Is it? Yeah. Wow. With this special guest? That's fun. Is it? Yeah. Wow. With the special guest. I'm full of microphone away, Lou. With the, yeah, he's gonna be the special marriage counselor. So they're gonna come out basically do a little stand-up,

do their show, and then Ron's coming out towards the end. And he's gonna try to fix their marriage, or fix their problems, which is gonna be fucking great. So, uh, that, I'm opening. You're opening. Dan Soda is opening. I love it, right? It's gonna be fun.

Yeah, you're gonna fun, go up, kill it, and then Voss is gonna have to follow you. So yeah, that's the March 11. So buy tickets at the comedyseller.com. And then we have Aaron's book. Aaron, where can they get your book? You don't need headphones. Just. Just say it's been canceled now Mr. Manners book Mr. Manners will be everywhere Amazon dot com burns and no what a PDF Lewis's mouth

There'll be Mr. Manners dot com now does every book come with those little paper clips on the end of it to keep it together I love those. What if I don't have a three hole punch? No, it's where the gold big one that folds out in the bag is all just printed. They're all handwritten on a typewriter. It's more of a trapperkeeper. That is a book. I wear back.

March 9th it comes out on everywhere on Monday. Yesterday. I will be back. March 9th, it comes out on everywhere on the yesterday. Mr. Manor's day. I will be back. Right now. There's none of the song, is there? Yeah, there's the bumper song. Oh.

Oh. What the fuck is that? I don't know. I don't know, but Hulk Hogan was super disappointing last night on Raw. This is sad. Why is he fighting again? He's not.

You were listening to Robert Kelly's... Do you know what? My guest, I'm way cast.com Hey, what's up? We're back. Oh. Hey. Haha, Joe hates any of you. That was worse than Kelly's raimus post. I'm afraid because Harold Raimus came to me in a dream.

And he said if I didn't move to New York, you know it would never be, it would never be, it would never be. It was just a nice gentle reflection in a post. That's all I was. I realized I was a little man. I really think so, and I was dead. I really, thank you.

I, that's my Kurt Mutsker, thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Bobby. I do hate when somebody dies. I mean, you know, like I had fucking had fucking Thanksgiving dinner with Phillip Seymour Hoffman I'm not gonna go post hey, I met him briefly, but I'm You're a PSHPS Thanksgiving dinner with folks in the rough man. Yeah legitimately. Yeah, yeah, no, what do we mean legitimately? Chatlin that

Legit legitimately was it was it sanctioned? I'm fucking smarter than everybody Where could legitimately was it was it sanctioned? I'm fucking smarter than everybody Was it mainly I saw I Pothetically made you have aesthetically I spent a few thanks givings with my father behind the glass window, so that was in a legitimate Thanksgiving dinner Trigger you'll find the guy when you were full Family now, it's a sitcom I found the eye when you were full. Louis had a family now, it's a sitcom. It's kind of dad's dad, but he's still around.

My mom's dead too, but I don't see him. Hey, on Louis, what happens when your parents die, but they don't go away. Story to Lucifer Lockhart on ABC. And she's the medium that talks to my parents for a minute. And Eric Rivera as Lewis is that. I mean, what you want to do is you want to fuck her, man. Fuck her, man.

Please don't rape her, please. It's not what I taught you. Co-starring. What the fuck, guys? You're gonna get... You know what, you know what, Traeal's gonna take it? Co-starring Juan Fistuka. You're killing your marine turn in 90s because of heroin, right?

I don't understand the relationship between you and his lawyer. What? I'm a Spanish. Little Lily. I went over, yeah, Louis house for, thanks to your me, Norton, the polo and the, the, yeah, it was a fucking star-filled, the mom and the Yeah, it was a fucking star filled the mom from the exorcist was there What no guys from Scarface who got thrown out of the helicopter opened the door for me and don and Max Esmerier brum. He went hello and then he left

Been hired him as a mecha do angel Salazar ran in right behind him Posi I walked in the room. Park of Posey was playing, had Max on the ground and playing with them. It was fucking surreal as shit. Did they know who you were? No, they knew we were comic friends at Louise.

That's the point. Who was the nicest? They were the nicest. Yeah, that's original. I haven't heard that on Twitter 9,000 times. Can I just say real quick? Yeah, please. Great job in a promo for sirens on USA.

Thanks, buddy. I was watching professional wrestling, wrestling. And I was like, holy shit, that's Bobby with a sheet over his bum. Right. And it was great. But back to your star's studded evening, your red carpet, Louis Thanksgiving. What were you wearing? What the fuck?

Who were you wearing? I'm not the second place. Can I be the neighbor, like Wilson? Hey, Louis, what's up, buddy? He's selling comedy tickets, but his ghosts and his parents won't leave them alone. I'm not the second place. Go baby the neighbor like Wilson. Hey Louis, we're all funny. He's selling comedy tickets, but his ghosts and his parents won't leave him alone. Tell him that Dane Cook is gonna be there. Tell him that Eddie Murphy is there.

Guess starring Rebel Wilson is the girl he rapes this week. I don't want you to put in the book. You're just gonna take it. Sounds like this is a job for Lewis. Damn, that's his catcher. That is one to watch. Yeah, it was fucking crazy, but he was the sweetest guy. Everybody was really nice. Nobody, it was just like hanging out and Thanksgiving dinner. Yeah, except for you know, instead of my

It's Philip Seymour off except for Philip Seymour off was taking shots of heroin in the bathroom every 10 minutes. Not cool, bro That's not all right. P. All right. P. Scotty from Puggy nights. I know Not even an idiot. It was a sweet guy. Idiot idiot. I don't fucking I don't fucking I'm not gonna. Hey, I you know, I would have I would have just gone Hi, what's your motive at the at the end of you go our guest has to be going now. Oh great Lebowski Wonderful brand great. Did you prefer to him as Philipsy more often the whole time? I just laughed like brand I Great, right? Did you refer to him as Philipsy were hoffing the whole time? Oh, I just laughed like a brand. I think it would, but I understand what she's saying, that you want to somehow connect to that person. Making about you, yeah. Yeah, but why I would never, I would never fucking do it.

Hey, I'm a ramistard. It reminded me one time of a cloudy day where I wasn't feeling wrong. Yeah, you want to get a little traffic on your Facebook page. Yeah, I think it's trying, you're trying to make yourself look more important when you're here. Bobby, a lot of being a young man about being going to second city that was her way to brag about it you can tell kelly went to second city because she always asked for a name in a location whenever you see her

uh... bandana i got a lot to give it to you it was a good job except she doesn't do that that's why i got confused it's it's one of those things like I remember when Draldo died, a lot of comedians like he saw me do a set and he said, good job.

It's like, don't fucking make this about you. He died. Yeah. He said that I said, good riddance. I met Harold Braamus and I didn't, and I chose to not tweet about it because I was an idiot and I was like, hey, it's good to see another Canadian. He's like, I'm not from Canada.

He was like, all right. That's a way better tweet. That's a good tweet. That's hilarious. You're a dick. I know. He was with Seth Roggan at the time and he said, Seth's from Canada.

I didn't know who Seth was and he's like, yeah, I did a bit of standup. I'm like, I never heard of you. Oh my God, Frick's in gigs, come on. Yeah, sorry. I just thought. Sorry. I understand why you would want of them

because you feel like when Philip Philips Simo Hoffman died Everybody's a fan of acting is amazing But when he died will never be the same when I he died I put a thing on Facebook that scene from book you know, it's my favorite scene ever just cuz I'm like oh this is sad This is what I like I don't think it's I don't think I'm being a Geotistical just sharing something with my I recreated my favorite scene from book you nights who just sharing something with my I recreated my favorite scene from Boogie Knights when he died. It's me pulling myself dick out front of a mirror. I don't know if you get the bandit because I didn't realize it was a joke.

I didn't know which scene you were talking about either. Yeah. Pull the dick out in front of the mirror. I thought you're doing the scene where he's holding the boom mic and he almost faints when he sees the deck Bobby it's hard for me to do the show when you're just I know what are you doing dude? I think he's trying to delete the first half hour. I'm trying. I got a new computer. It's a brand new The the garage band is brand new. They fucking re-did everything so it's not the same fucking buttons and I got a

Like when the thing you got it. You doing the whole dr. Dre Kanye thing I'm trying to I'm trying to you know Stan I'm not just I'm trying to steer the show I'm trying to be funny and I'm trying to make sure this shit records and we'll go up you know we need another intern another one another person in here let's get three in the boat I I'm just do a fucking intern show. Do do that is the after show. But like start we'll leave and you just have the intern's serial talk and like do you remember when Lewis said that thing to know him and it clearly got uncomfortable for everybody. Well like one one I'm sorry. When Patrice died. I look Irice. What? I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go post him my wall. I met him once at a barbecue. I remember watching his special as I was naked. Yeah. Now, see, speaking of death in Patrice and Philip Seymour Hoffman, Joe List has one of the greatest stories about meeting Philip Seymour Hoffman. Connected with all three of them. Out there.

Yeah, I think I told it's starting the podcast before I don't know if I was done with my story, but go ahead my dead son can wait go. No, well don't say like it He's brought it up don't act like I fucking You would have created Dan This is Bobby's dumb dumbness you fucking do a thing Point at me and Bobby's like he's pointing at him and we mad at him Yeah, that's what Bobby and Lewis are they've got that pimple mentality

But look at that music But I'll say that Dan has a good point my story is gonna be better than you dumb story. I didn't I didn't yell mine Let's cuz he's a rock run right now Let's because he's a rock runway What attacked you is this gentle little dude. He attacked you. Who is this? Ship You talk to me like I'm an asshole now you are an asshole He makes a pull you are an asshole. I just have to accept you as that asshole. That's my problem You know exactly. Yeah, you know you knew what an asshole I was day one

I know I do like my girlfriend dude you came and saw my apartment covered in dark air and I'm gonna be like a girlfriend too and leave you All right tell you don't story about your friend dying and then you now now I am who I am today Which is a way better person than I was when you met me and started hanging out with me You gave yourself too much. No, no, you don't give me enough credit. No one gives me enough credit I should have killed somebody at this point and I have it. Hey, I think you're right. I give you credit I can feel sympathy I choose not to and I miss fat piece of shit Lewis You can use it as a credit. He's still inside of me I know he is sucking on camel lights going. I'm gonna part rope after her stand I know he is sucking on camel lights. Go on, I'm gonna part-drop after her, Stan.

I'm here, and I'm ready. Bobby, what's your portray story? No, I just said that when he died, I wanted to, I wanted to post a lot of stuff too, but I didn't, because I don't think it's my responsibility. I don't, I don't want to, I, it's my thing to remember that I saw people posting shit, and some of them kind of,

some of them I was like, I get it, but some of them kind of some of them I was like I get it but some of them was like motherfucker you don't know this you're trying to go on trying to glam on to this moment but then in my head I'm like yeah but dude I posted RIP RIP Patrice when he died and he was my favorite comic so it was it was for me I didn't know him beyond just meeting him a few times and fucking hanging out at comedy clubs and being afraid to even talk when he's in the room. I'm not talking about that. That's not what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about that. I'm not talking about that. You didn't fucking hear me. What I'm saying is asking you. No, what I'm saying is is that people would come up with these moments of like some dude who met him for a weekend that he probably fucking hated. Well, some say, yeah, we worked, it was,

it was chat the fuck. I remember I was working with him. It's nothing. Yeah, exactly. He looked at me and he was like, but he was such a powerful person. I understand that he had an effect on people. So I, you know, I'm not gonna say anything,

but it kind of bugged me, but like when I, I see people do that, I do kind of go, are you, what the fuck? My grandfather died, it was hard to connect to it. You know what I mean? I mean, it's just me, but I don't know how people connect to people's death today. They don't even fucking know in some emotional way.

When it's hard for me to connect to people that I fucking know. Completely agree. Die, and it's like, I don't get that. I mean, yes, he's a star, but I don't fucking know him, and people die. We die. Everybody dies.

I can be dead. We're all gonna be dead. Yeah, scope or L.O.L.E.L.E.L. night, man, it was not pretty. Is this the saddest episode you guys have had? Because of you, because of you. Yeah, that's not. Because you had your fucking thousand yards dome of pile stare at the beginning,

and I was nervous that you're gonna fucking stab somebody. No, we had an episode where someone came in talking about how is that girl friend? Yeah, Troy Juan's episode was a sad It's episode we ever had Troy Juan. He's girlfriend died in front of him. She fell off a cliff Oh, the worst is just trying to bring it up so we can say a zinger again. I would love to if I was gonna wait for the right moment Can somebody just set that up? Hacking we're talking about h. Oh, that sounds like fun. Luke, I... What's the matter, Bob?

I'm frustrated at this. I love this computer. I'm glad we got it. Now, you know, it's just, it's gonna make everything easier, but I'm frustrated. There's one. I don't wanna talk about it.

You said that very politically, like you had a compliment at the computer first, and then put it down. I just wanna say, the computer's been a very, it's been a great addition to the, the team. It took a lot to get this computer here.

You know what I mean? So, it looks at it. Now that we have it, no, I mean, financially. I've been known just ripping up $120 checks, like it's nothing. You fucking right, have you seen this house? It's nice. I'm not gonna talk about the time that I saw

this house and his wife ever again. I mean, what? What did you do that I saw this house and his wife ever again What what did you do? I saw this house and his wife? I was with you. His wife. No, I might have been mentioning you know His wife ever again. No, that was uncomfortable. You guys all made it uncomfortable. I just that I met no I'm comfortable you say uncomfortable things and then sometimes people actually react to them We most of the time people laugh at them or blow it off But sometimes people go what the fuck was that? You know, but I didn't say anything. I you guys were the ones that was we can preempt what you're about to say You were thinking help you that I was gonna say that she's hot and I wasn't gonna say it

You were gonna say something like she's very in the middle She's kind of ugly and hot Yeah, but we just try to help you Lou because we want to know well make sure that you work you one day and not insult the owner It's very in the middle. She's kinda ugly and hot. Yeah, but we just try to help you, Lou, because we want to know, well, make sure that you work here one day and not insult the owner. How, first of all, how is that even insulting the owner if I did say his wife was hot, which I did not? Because...

How is that insulting? If you've said Beatrice's hot, I might get thank you. Yeah, Beatrice's hot. Yeah. That's uninsulting, beautiful one. Yeah, I'm just... Very talented, I like it. You're right, too. I like it. What? Thanks. con volotea la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desesperan. ¡Fliparás!

Vuelades de madrida murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. ¿Vos te gustan las condiciones en este momento? ¿A dónde se hace el día? ¿A dónde se hace? ¿A dónde se hace? ¿A dónde se hace el día? ¿No es una de las mujeres, chicos? ¿A dónde? missed list goes and steams every morning at two in the morning. What else he does? He goes steam. Who else is there when he's steam?

Nobody. Some other gay dudes jerk it off. Where? A story of Queens. I'll go to the one hundred. Life Fitness. Where's that? Wow.

It's on 34th Avenue. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Yeah, if I let you guys just talk it really turns into a bus ride Little church We go to see yeah, what are we gonna me let's do tomorrow you fucking asshole? Well, I had a great fucking Philips see more often. I want to hear about it But I already told them the show I think no, you didn't I told it on the show a year ago Nobody remembers that episode you I was drunk in the east Village. Yeah years ago 2003 Phil Seawawathan my favorite actor at the time. Yep was who is now? Well, they still my favorite of my favorite living actor. Yeah He was a sound witness. Oh wait never mind a young

Black gal who I love very much black people. Thank you They were talking and I walked over that was i was really drunk of his twenty-one years old and i said the only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone when you're uncool and then feel see what often said what that

i said it's uh... it's a line from almost famous which uh... called when i hadquin had pointed out i'd named her sometimes he's like the guy didn't even write the movie is that even his line is from edit and the movie or and then i said uh... he said what is a line from a movie and then he's like oh okay and then i said i'm friends with patrisso kneel

and then he said and then they both dead and then he said and then he said black girl and then for the whole thing what happens black girl and the first thing we're having said I don't know who that is And I said he's been 25 hour with you and then a pun watching the movie again later They're not even in the same scene and I had never met Patrice who kneeled at the time Wow, I never became friends with Patrice either so I yeah It was a whole truck out there was an attempt to star fuck. I just wanted it for i just love that line i wanted i wanted to talk to

him i was uh... young and don't know that i tried to personally train john kusak once and i thought he was the asshole walked up to him and i was like hey if you ever need a trainer he's like now i'm good i was like what a douche now that was me uh... and then i got a month ago in oct October I was on the same flight as Philopsy more often and then I was at the same restaurant across the way my Giannis The same same flight you know what you are Philip Seymour Hoffman. I love Philip Seymour

I was a fucking fitting ending to that story. I fucked your show up so bad today. No, you didn't I didn't don't either one. No, you didn't you No, you didn't. Oh, I don't want. No, you didn't. I mean, I think it's, I just hope that you get your shit together. Phil's even having to have it so for 22 years. You really did come on the show, not to do a show. This first movie, he was 19 years old and a little known

fact. And he was Philip S. Yeah, you did way better last time. Yeah, you were peppy, you were ready. This time he came on. yeah, like all sad. I thought you should have won the Oscar for almost famous. Talking about me. I know, that's why I'm trying to change the topic.

Why? I feel like I'm connecting with Bobby for the first time. We don't even know each other that well. Why don't we cut both those mics? You guys connect and we'll talk about Steve's. Yeah, but listen, first of all, I'm joking'm joking Bobby get all serious why you mad at me because I can't be on your show Yeah, what happened you invite a man a show I'm not mad at you at all, but you fucking open up the show you fucking not on my show

I'm begging yeah cuz man what you turned down the opportunity to perform live For some of the 700,000 people 4.7 million is it? I'm not upset at all. I'm happy to be here You turned down the opportunity to perform live for the first seven hundred thousand people. 4.7 million. Is it? I'm not upset at all. I'm happy to be here. I should have done it.

I'm not a fun show. I'm a very upset from a fiscal aspect that you did not do. Jonas is doing Wembley Stadium next to me. Oh, to Arena. He's like, hey, how you doing? Thank you. You went up from Mark Norman, Mike Hollas. Oh to arena. He's like, hey, how you doing? Thank you. Give it up for Mark Norman, Mike Oles.

Hello people of the stadium. I have been programmed. You entertain you. Give it up now for Amy Schumer. I mean Amy Schumer. Amy Schumer. Amy Schumer. Amy, Amy, Amy, Amy. You may have seen her on the show. How do you feel?

I feel fun. Enjoy it. Seven million people! Terrible news, AdiSense and Adi. 13 crushed when they open the doors to any Two cases Pull the hoop Like a sucker right there

Ampated a death just a girl grabbing for her as Joe's on stage Me There's just a girl grabbing from here as Joe's on stage. They're coming towards the stage. He looked at me. Oh shit. Oh man, I'm even like a McHenry Santa right now. It's all good. It's all just good. You think he looked at me out of the little... ...to that...

...cutting up... ...yeah. Oh man, you think that happened? Ciao, ciao, ciao. I'm sorry everyone do the consolation Joe is from couldn't make it Is there anyone in the back? Is there anyone in the back? Oh shit Guns and Rose has played extra long

Joe is probably gonna say goodnight throughout her Guns and Roseness play extra long. Joe's spoken a cigarette, my throat hurts. Joe, I feel better now. They had a radio shock in England. Turns out I take these. Hey! Zing! Zing! I Is You guys

I was like a thought of all of a sudden he just jumps up from the bottom of the stage Grab your mic. I want to thank the Navy for flying over He's got the Madonna Mike over his mouth. He's got the hands free set I want to thank the New York Gaggy for taking the night off so we could do this motherfucker Another like a Tuesday was a story is outside and just imagine for those munchages works the cover of every magazine and then a different pose. He is a Tony Stark beard But you show this top 40 under 40 in America I don't get it top 10 I tune the podcast are all his

Thank you Joe. Thank you for bubble bottles. I'm interviewing Joe. This Joe you sit down, I'm telling you, I'm... You taste a podcast game. We're 470 million this year. It's more than a population of Earth. I'm kidding. You're taken the most popular star in China. What?

We must think of getting interviewed by British Barbara Walters. No! Yeah, they make it real. Oh, wow, wow. no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no was a, we did a me and Lewis and me and Lewis and, uh, Ray Harrington, whatever DeCoccus, whatever the kid's name was. Who's fucking wife left him and fucking his best friend? You really made a mad. Oh, I made him furious. Why?

Because the guy's wife wanted to bop in somebody's, one of his friends. One of his friends and left him. And the other kid and Lewis kept fucking going you spineless Would you call him? I don't know. It was funny though. You really know how to poke a bear He uh, you really just what? Yeah, he knows how to suck a bear off I bet you wouldn't be so angry if I suck that

Can we go back to Joe list met life arena that was really fun No, no, no Joe wasn't having fun. He wasn't we want to you now. He shut down like we're doing a panel Just thought it was really loud Really The Lewis Jay Gomez coupons What the fuck you have him in your back guys? What the fuck you have him in your back guys? I'm so can let me spend my coupons. Listen fuck those are fucking if anybody no one's coupons anybody

Mother fucker when I fucking when we did that you motherfucker Yeah, you look so good and black Listen, this is got him right fucking you said you let me have always has them on him You'd let me fucking always has them on him You'd let me fucking use one. Do you want to use one? What do you got? Yeah, I want one first off Let me talk to my friend Joe list who's upset That we were making fun of his successful podcast. I've not upset. I just thought it was very noisy for a moment I said everyone was yelling and screaming

I thought there was a little embellishment on the laughter as well. I mean how can you be upset pretty clear? These look important what are these things? There was a little embellishment on the laughter as well. I mean, how can you be upset? Like that was pretty clear. When you're fucking... These look important. What are these things? Oh! What are they? I know it's gonna cheer up Aaron Berg. What? A real ass coupon. Wow. Now, let me ask you, since Aaron is visiting, he's upset.

He's not a regular, but he's been on before. Let me ask. And he's a great comic in New York City with a book coming out. Nice tattoos. The shirt is a regular. through they'll run through what you can only promise I he seems like a guy that has groomed feet he do I do not are they nasty I looked at him today and I was like I need some of the nasty hoof I have to dead toenails I have to guess is a can we do a side game I have can we all go around and pick who in order?

Who do you think is best to worst feet? I have the worst I would think you have worse I have the right to say I'm under check myself. I have such bad feet when I did the Amy Schumer show when we were given the massage She was looking through them. She went Bob. What the fuck is wrong with your feet? My two big toes are dead is wrong with your feet. My two big toes are dead. I think I'm better than, because the stuka, because you seem like you're shaved, you're put together.

Yeah, mine aren't that bad. Like I haven't clipped my nails and my small toe, there's a little, it's a little, it's a little. Let's do our, let's do our AP top five. Terrible feet. Number one, easy. She would coach as an AP.

Bobby, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Dude I have terrible feet. Oh, you want some mother vomit feet? Why is your second toe wrapping around the pinky toe? Dude you'll feed him you can hold shit with those He's got like eight feet He's got vampire feet Dan loses arms will be fun as you're like I Should open a closet then she'd be hanging upside down with her feet So you can open for Josh Lou with feet like that He's a white table. They really do have no ferratu feet

What the fuck are those brother? All right, well unfolds under the one toe is the little baby toe the one next to it Whatever that toe is the little piggy they went to the market wraps around the baby It looks like his pinky toe and his second toe were switched The bottom do show from the bottom. Oh the bottom of the fees the list started from the bottom Dude you have you have food is the thinnest ugliest thing I've ever seen Yeah, but I have a fungus that is contagious. I got that too.

Dude, I got a fucking thing I got from a gay shower in a fucking New York sports club. Oh, wow. Okay, something from a puddle-ized episode. A gay shower, what's that? It's called Ernie Schauer, New York sports club. I got mine from a goth chick on a playground. Yeah, it's called Herpes.

Okay. What is the thing you have? So I got I got mine from a goth chicken a playground. Yeah, it's gold herpes. Okay. What what is the thing you have? So I got number two I got an X in the bottom of my face. You have eggs on the bottom You're gonna be ugly when you're old. I have to say that I'm gonna be a Like you're walking on eggshell support cider on this one. I have I get X more my feet too. Thank you Common thing was that Joe Joe was that an eggs the mojo? Who was in bed welcome? I'm not take any more sucks off plays because it's room's not in the smell like Fade and You can fucking kill the smell with that What would Harold Rae miss?

He smells like eggs and dumplings quick Kelly go into your second city training Well, I know what I moved here cuz a Rick Romant God damn it. I was gonna say any parts the millions and millions of fans are disappointed in you Tuesday's just always breakfast cereal I kid with that what do I eat How about a mouthful of stories I can't fit the spoon in my mouth Sounds like you need to listen to a story

A true story Will you please plug me into the wall? There's eight essential minerals and vitamins into the wall. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha We are all fucking dumb. You fucking dumb assholes. You're all nobody. Nobody in this room, I've gone wild dude, they're really like intellectual. There's none of you are fucking smart. Yeah, Joe. Joe. Joe, saying is that was,

you did that like it was your first day of improv school. You're like this, yeah, maybe there's a breakfast cereal everyone laughs. Yeah, minerals. Yeah, yeah, we're, You're not me repeating it, bomb. Hey, hey, no, you're anger. You keep going with your anger. What were you screaming? Wait, what was I you're screaming that everybody's double than me?

Oh, yeah, no, it's not fucking acting like you're smart That's the point not like everyone says I know things Thanks! That's a good cut. We're all, we're all, Mikey. Mikey, he's doing a fucking bit. Would you let him go? That was a good one.

That was really good. It's over now. It's over now. And he's dead too. Don't jump because they'll die. Okay, what do we got? I lost my shit. Here's what we got.

You got. We got 10 minute foot or back rub. Back rub. I don't know if I'm good. Why that's in there? That's definitely a foot rub. To be named later for number one or number two, terrible feet. By the way, the top five rounds out, number one,

I'm number two. I guess I'm thinking, I can't follow what you're saying. You got, remember about the bad two. Sorry, I forgot. You know what, Danny, we could split the 10 and a half because it doesn't specify you can't. Five for Bobby, five for you, so that. No, very, very specifically, says.

I think you get the best of Bifwill up. It's just a fucking idiot. It says What the fuck do it foot rub? Can you be funny with the way that you're gonna shut up? No at least try to be at least funny guys. I can spend this one. What is that compliment Kelly? Yes Which I'm not going to Really make it count is compliment Kelly's gonna be with like when they hate each Maybe at the live show in front of everybody Is that a compliment why am I am saying why scopo not am seeing this show because he what why the scopo am seeing the show Why am I am seeing the why can't I be do live show. I am see every fucking night of my life

You're good. I'm see why you am seeing you're why am I am seeing? Cuz Kelly probably made up the fucking line up. He's the lineup. Okay, Lewis is gonna M.C. and then it's gonna go soda Bobby Scopo me for 45 minutes And then because there's gonna be Cuz first of all you'll do what I fucking tie to do, because it's my show. And if you don't want to do it, then don't MC and don't be on it. How's that? How about I get asked to do it?

How about you don't do it? How's that? You don't want to do it? Fine, you don't do it. I don't want to do it. You don't do it. If Joe doesn't do it, then I mean, I'll definitely do it. What about it?

Fuck it. I'm so sorry. I care about this guy. Yeah, no, nobody even'll definitely do it. What a fucking sell this. I care about this guy. Yeah, no, nobody even, I was an ass to do it. It wasn't a fucking poll. But it wasn't an insulting thing. It was a fucking mistake, you fuck. Who cares?

It was a thing. I'm true. Look, if you don't want to fucking do it, don't fucking do it. I'm just trying to put something together fun so we can all go. Why does it feel like it's real? I'm just being funny.

Because it's real with you. You're not funny. You're not funny You're being real you're insane. You're insulted that you were asked to host You don't want a host don't fucking host. I don't want to tell you I'll do it if I can drink and smoke I think you're funny I think you're funny and I'm excited for your birthday the night before maybe we'll do something in fact We're having a party tonight. It's stand-up labs. It's Nate Bargazze's back in town millions of people are gonna be there yeah for sure yeah that'd be fun how do they fit all the people they open up the wall I bet the roof no because there's a stadium what's this all sit there what about the coupons actually cool

so we got 10 minute footer back rub five minutes of silence on the podcast which you know any fan of a real us Dude you don't want well, he's gonna be silent anyways cuz this fucking best friend called him unfunny for no reason You're welcome who's his best friend? You yeah, fuck I'm not his best friend. Yeah, but you're like his dad or something Fuck I'm not his best friend. Yeah, but you're like his dad or something Don't fucking me to ABC everybody everyone who takes care of him dies Don't put me in that fucking category. It's fall on ABC. Louis Gomez is a comedian, but his parents are dead Ten minutes of silence on the podcast again. I'm a fan of a real-ass dude So I have to spend these once you've offended me. I don't think Lewis is a good enough actor to play a comedian on TV

All right too much okay you Next time I'm genuinely hurt apologize to whoever offended you've offended do we give it to Bobby? No, why'd you give it to you? To you why don't you give it to the world? You're a fucking guys. I know This is how fucking psycho you are I put you on a show and you're why the fuck am I hosting like I say that? What did I say? Actually when I say why is it scope oh host? Yeah, why is it scope oh host?

And that's what I see he's not even on the show is he not on the show? Yeah, I know guys. I guess something that a bridge all this together Oh, what make us all feel better? Guys, I know guys. I guess something that'll bridge all this together. Oh Megazall feel bad. Motu man Randy Savage impression. Please I'm gonna take off your pajama top shirt That's pretty good. I liked it. I like the touch. I think you're hot. Gotcha Look how soft that is. Nice. It's up against the skin. 30 second simulated bill BJ and a dildo No, we've done. I don't want to see him suck a dick good. I don't want him to have fun with this I don't want to lose this bone. Why don't you guys take away the fun that I have in these coupons?

Why don't you fucking use a coupon? Why don't you hold on to them like you're it looks like Joe is always sucking the most in the word coupon Didn't you do that joke earlier with a different word? He did I did I didn't hear he's been trying to get off the time I'm gonna shit on it he did I didn't hear he's been trying to get off a tiny mouth joke I don't fucking he's changed in the middle and the midst of this podcast that you think that's funny this podcast is dumbed it for fucking not being nice to now I laughed at one of his dumb jokes and now you give me shit I can't win with fucking Joe list no one can so now you got to use one of these coupons before Lewis gets too famous and leaves

the show forever I would never do that Kelly Give me the foot rub let him catch the fungus Let him have to get me the foot rub catch the fact Megan Marie? A chick that's... Yeah, what? Megan Marie. You're a no- I love her. You're a no- And make her a fuck yourself. Hey, why are you getting old, you're a no- Oh, sorry, oh, sorry.

Hey, Megan, hey, Megan. What you got a fan of you? You got it. You got it. Tell her to go die. Bobby, hold on. She's nobody gets a fungus, dude. We talk to Megan.

She's a big fan of yours. Megan, hi. Dan Sot of the Heart Throb of YKWJ. You really are. How you doing? I'm a cover of Team Bobby. And so does the breakout star. Do you doing? Uh, it's the real thing. I'm a cover of Team Bop. And so does the breakout star. Do you think any of his girl code fans have ever listened to this show and are just fucking

a Paul? I hope. Don't be a hussie. You said these things. Guys, Dan Sotas and a pot, let's listen to it. And it's just like, hey, fucking cut, faggot suck! This is so heavy. Megan, I got your back because I'm caching in a motherfucking coupon! He's fucking cut back inside! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Fungo I'm caching in my first deal I do both cuz the fucking foot rob it's a real ass foot

Rob 10 minutes change switch switch with it. Yeah, no, we can still talk while he's doing it I know but I gotta make sure I got a timer going. Yeah, I'll get a timer going of course He's doing his full time. You're not getting off He's doing all fucking ten. Yeah, there we go cash in and loose by the way. You can do it all fucking ten. There we go. Cash in and loose. By the way, you can have this back. Cash again. Loose. When do you want the light?

Oh! Oh! Oh! Thanks! Look at that. Oh! No, no, no, no. It's like pitches. It's like a... No, it's like pitchers. It's like how when someone tries to draw a cartoon and they're not good at drawing a feet. Lewis is speechless. I shut Lewis out This is great one two for two. Let's go. Let's go ready. Come on Let's go

You gotta give them like oh wait man. What? What? What's the low-key move over closer to me? I don't have room this way Time when Lewis shop guys guys I'll rub your fucking feet move over here So I can put my legs up on you if you're not putting your legs on my thing. What do you know? No, you I'm part of the food You don't make it the stipulations of how I rub your feet. I gotta be comfortable, right?

Robert, I have to be comfortable. I'm gonna make it feel good. Don't come me Robert. My name's Bobby. Bobby! Bobby! Bobby! I can't, I'm not comfortable. My thought was my friend before today's show. Put your feet up here. Let's go. Hey Joe Lister, I got a book for you.

One at a time. Put your other foot down. No Bobby did not that bad your feet They're not that bad, dude. Are you nuts? Did not that horrible? I'm not taking it let's go get in my timer going I like with time again. It's okay. You don't cue. Oh He's mad. He's mad at this one, but that's gonna mean a better foot rub go start. Let's go. Go ahead. Let's go Give you a little jet look because I got bad. I got a plant the fishyitis Planners warts. Yeah, my toes. They'll get my toes You have the feet of like a 90-year-old Ukrainian woman

Like you had to walk to get water for the first 20 years of your life. They feed, dig me, many lines of the bread. They made me somebody. I had, thank you, right there. Right up between my clothes. He's wearing these fingers. You're a fucking... You're like a...

You're a fucking... You're a fucking... You're a fucking... You look like you'd be un-made-able to ride a bike. For me? You're legs a longer than my fucking... Don't stop. You're legs a longer than my fucking- Don't stop.

You're going up in that feet look like you perch. Have you ever jerked guys off to have a massage? Lewis, get your mouth involved a little bit. Yeah, suck on that. Oh, I'm sorry. Suck on a hoof. Look at that yellow thing. Oh, my God.

Suck on a hoof. You're supposed to have a fucking hoof. It's like an eagle talent. It really almost looks like you could pick a- It looks like you could pickle Bobby's feet. He was like Bobby should be holding a snake in his feet. Yeah, he's the Mexican flag. For some hot sauce on the big one,

try and trick some people uptown. Bobby, you should be filming a POV of this. A POV? Yeah. I know what it is, dumb dumb. Yeah, well, I don't know. Is he having a knee? You were getting in.

You were getting in the you know what fucking body is weird you have the legs of Hank's dad from King of the Hill my forearm is longer than your leg I have a short lower half. Oh my god. You've got a midget bottle. You're just going around. You're staying in the big, big spot. Hey everybody, it's Body Kelly. You've got a midget thing. Get in that arch.

Get in that arch. Yeah, that he was there. It was hard because Bobby repr... What? He's a stinger. He's a fucking stinger. Bobby represents the lollipop guild. Dude, I pay my fee every year. I get fucking the lollipop guild. Yeah, I pay my fee every year.

I get fucking free lollipop, Sted. Look at that fucking toenail. Working that foot. Oh, yeah. What were we at? Lewis is like a minute. Now we're at two minutes to burn a sentence. No, one, we go to the eight minutes.

I don't think Lewis, when he was making these coupons, I don't think he realized how long 10 minutes. You know, fucking bad his thumb's gonna smell? Oh. He's digging into the athletes foot I have. But Bobby went from making fun of Lewis to actually enjoying this now. I'm not the one who's not friends with Bobby anymore.

He's gonna earn his friendship back with me. I don't want it. I just wish Bobby would give it. I was probably paying fishnets. Please keep your friendship. You can have it. Give it to somebody else. I'm gonna give it to Aaron.

You can have my friendship that I have with Lewis. I have a friendship with Aaron. We were to discuss that. It to Aaron. You can have my friendship that I have with Lewis. I have a friendship with Aaron. We were to discuss that. It really is. The smell in the room is becoming more palpable. It has Lewis rubs it out of your feet. It's almost like a whole cow's with dust when you slap it.

It's just a cloud of stink. Hey, Rubber and Ankle would normally be. Yes, where you think Bobby's ankle. Oh, shit. I'm like, it's like Bobbie has his arm through his pants to make it look like he has a leg. Oh, yeah, Rubber's feet that. Oh yeah, rub my face. 30 more seconds, those switch face.

Do you understand his fucking hands are gonna be like waterproof after those three stinks? It does stay, right? Yeah. Yeah, the more you let that out, it's getting tough. It's getting tough to the view. Years of oppression coming out of it.

I put it the bottom. Oh, this is one tenth of my Christmas gift. Who got the fucking Mr. Potato Head, you fucking asshole. I got it. I got it. Fuck you. Where are you going to swap fate now? Yeah.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Major Smellie's fingers. You smell these fingers and then trying to put them near my face. So it may, don't fucking hit me.

Rub my foot, bitch. I think that's bitch in your face. Come he may don't fucking hit me rub my foot bitch. I think that's Don't create a Lincoln Asian. Yeah, where's that certificate get that pickled feet get that This foot that ham hoc of a fucking lower torso look like you have trench. What's that when you get trench I think you fight roll the one Pitchy a football be a fooling off onto the couch Yeah, I think you fight world one. It's your football. You're falling off onto the couch You have fluid in your feet You're gonna like put a needle in there

Turns out turns out when you drain Bobby evolve as fluid. He's a pretty svelte 180 When you drain my feet I have a habit flit. Oh, yeah, suck on it. So you've been walking on both feet I'll give you a hundred dollars if you put it in your mouth 200 Yeah, yeah, suck on it. You've been walking on both. I'll give you a hundred dollars if you put it in your mouth. Dude, dude that shit 200 The jeez I would have fucking you would have seen me leap over like Lavaire I said a thousand you'd suck my foot I've just realized this baby was gonna have to skip a meal in order to get his foot sucked on Sorry little dude couldn't feed you The Lewis sucked in my toes. Yeah, that's a go on listen. This is it right here. This is the life

I feel really good. He does it. He has amazing fears. He should have been Oh right there right there right there. That's where itches all the time Oh Right there's where it inches. Oh man. I know where that is on my feet and I don't want him touching You know the worst feet and I've got the second worst feet I wouldn't put my fingers near that mother the bottom of your foot has cleavage Don't stop don't stop that's time. Oh, yeah rub that into your knuckles You got to work. I hope you punch somebody tonight before you hit them and they pass out because you're knuckles think

I'm making fun of mine knuckles think you're making fun of your footstick yeah I know I know but through your knuckles asshole I'm gonna put it in a bustle there you go I will say I mean two guys that don't get along his name's Lewis his name's robber what happens when Lewis his parents are dick I'm impressed that Lewis is so committed to the job though. How much time we got left? That's how I look. It's a real fucking dude. He's not playing in about it. He's fucking doing it. Seven minutes and 10 seconds. I gave the gift because I wanted to fucking be a nice guy Yeah, I didn't give the gift You know what you are real-ass dude because you're very committed to doing something that is very bad

What am I supposed to do? I'm gonna not do it. I'm gonna have to. No, my hands have to be honest. Keep going. Keep going. You're stuck. You're stuck. So why not make it feel good? Yeah.

Are you saying? Fuck. I'll get mad at me because you gave the fucking gift of Christmas. What? What the fuck you getting mad at me for? I'm Christmas, everyone. Get mad at Dan for giving me this gift. Oh, thank you Dan.

Holy faithful, joyful and triumph. Oh, God, holy faithful, it's too bad. He's nasty for me. It's beginning to smell a lot like shit I am dreaming of white shit falling off your feet How do your feet have dandruff? Oh god, it smells Yeah, this is beautiful. It stings the nostrils Yeah, this is beautiful. It stings the nostrils

Do you like post-tension rotten bananas? You're gonna love Robert Kelly's new free punch You're attacking all five of my senses right now. All right. We got a minute and a half left. This is it We're down to the crutch time ladies and gentlemen. Oh Sexy when he pulls you back closer Sexy when he pulls you back closer I like it too That's what I'm gonna say He's fucking you when he says Oh yeah Oh yeah pulling down that bed

You can never unsee how long Bobby's legs are And I'm not going to learn It's pretty much going to change our friendship from now on By the way, do you look before it's stumpy? My legs are not long? Hello Excuse me

You know what dude? We're going to be upstairs? We got to put scumbuzz butt on Bobby's legs Oh God, Midget Butt you know what dude? We're gonna be upstairs. We gotta put scumbuzz butt on Bobby's legs. Oh God, Midget Butt meets Midget legs. You guys would be giant fidgets. What are you saying that my legs aren't long? They're tiny, what are you talking about? You have disproportionately tiny,

what are you talking about? They're gonna be long-foot. My legs go up to here, so I'm just shit on you. My torso is four inches. Your leg looks like that old big red wolf all back. My legs go up to here, so I'm just shitting on you my torso is four inches. You look like that old big red wiffle all back. The Mickey Mouse wiffle ball back. You got slokin' back. 25 seconds.

You never taunted wiffle back legs. Why am I legs so quick? 20 seconds. Everybody, it takes me a second to go up these stairs Tell them 10 seconds 8 6 5

4 3 2 1 Look at him We're last did we're last dude. Oh you have like 10 more. How many more gives to you is you have nine? No, I will We got a sink in the other

I check it out. That's the end of the show. We're gonna wrap it up. I want to thank Aaron for coming in I want to thank Lewis J Gomez. We got my buddy Joe List, Dan Soda, Kelly Fistuka, and Chris Scopo, you guys are the best. It was a real fun fucking show. Aaron, you feel a little better now? I feel a lot better. Sorry for coming in like that.

It's all right, buddy, don't worry about it. I like it. You're honest to who you are, and that's what it is. What do you get to plug? The book, eBook comes out March 9th. I'll be at the stand, most of March. Edmonton, Yacht Yacht's March 15, 16, Calgary, Yacht Yacht's the week after that Vancouver Yacht Yacht's

the week after that. Do it! Damn, what do you got? I'm gonna be at Denver Comedy Works, March 15th at 16th. Yep. And then the last weekend, March 26th, 27th, 28th, I'll be in San Francisco at the point of the line awesome

Joe, what do you got buddy? April 27th no, no, no fuck. I don't know April 24th to the 27th. I think it is I'm recording a new CD Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, new album built in the summer So come out to support or whatever and now what you podcast where can they find that great show? Tuesdays with stories on I-2. Join the millions. A million fans. I think a lot of you are already listening.

I think all of the money. So if you could keep doing that. Keep doing it. It's a great podcast with him and Mark. So very funny. Two of the funniest guys going right now. Young and very funny guys. That's screaming.

It's real good. Lewis, what do you got? Oh, sorry, Dan. Go ahead. What do you got? I was just going to say it's a very fun podcast to do as well. I'm gonna do it. I was supposed to do it tonight But I double book myself. So I'm gonna do it again. I can't wait to do it. Lewis. What do you got? Finger fungus. Oh

I'm gonna work on my thumb too. Oh, that's awesome My foot would do good with a little work coming on my thumb guys. I'll be headlining Joker's wild and new Haven Connecticut with Chris Scopo open and the first weekend of May and Yeah, that's a good website real estate dot com follow me on Twitter at Louis J. Gomez real estate dot com check it out Scopo. What do you got? Realestude.com check it out scope. What do you got? Just fucking get me on Twitter and yeah, check Twitter on Twitter. I'm in the city doing shows and make sure you go to his show With Lewis it's gonna be it's a great little club But it's a little rowdy, but if you guys show up as fans in Connecticut get a bunch of friends get around 10

15 people show up take over the place will be a fucking awesome night never goes to frank pepies at the end of the night all the way that up on louis we're definitely got a lot of them uh... you can find me on uh... twitter all my facebook feed uh... and i'll be uh... i'll be at a laughing devil every sunday hosting from now on so all right laughing devil hosting yeah hosting a recent a eleven devil from awesome the rain is family is asked for her to speak

I got what do I got Bobby? March 7th you're gonna be at the Bush Neil Theater in Hartford, Connecticut. Yes, one night only Yeah, one night the 28th and 29th Bobby's at Uncle Vinnie's in point pleasant I gotta get somebody to open for me in that You're not one of friends anymore. You tell me one of my friends. I'll never work. I'll do a body Hey, bro, I gotta get somebody Yeah, go ahead Second third fourth fifth six all the way to eighth ninth

That's it. You're in just for last Toronto Canada April third fourth Second at first the first thing is the second it is it does April second why that's the fucking New York the You got a cancel that you Mother Bobby will not be there. I'm gonna be I'll work it out. We're gonna work that out fuck two places at once. I'll do it anyways I got a big good robber Kelly live comm for all my dates Get my app off of iTunes you can it tells you if you turn it on it tells you if I'm gonna be in the area

Within a hundred miles and I was the podcast down there. It's amazing. It's free get the ride cast that It's free check out all the other shows on ride ride cast We are the fucking best network on the east coast We're free. We have the best shows all different amazing So please check out ridecast.com and listen to the other shows you guys are the best fans in the fucking world Thank you so much for checking out the show. Thank you so much for coming to the live shows every week The crowds get more and more packed with YKWD fans You guys are the best and make sure I got some big news coming out. I got some big news I'm not gonna I don't it's by the time the show comes out

It will probably all be announced, but I got some great stuff happening and I can't wait to share with you motherfuckers So thank you so much you guys are the best that's it you know what dude you listen to proper kelees you know what dude podcast