Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Foyer Jenkins

Episode Date: July 10, 2017

This week on YKWD; We have guest host filling in for Bobby while his off in Montreal, the hilarious Lynne Koplitz! We talk bad break ups and crazy ex stories while sipping on her homemade Bourbon Tea. She invites her hilarious close friends and comedian Greer Barnes in the talk more about their worst one night stands and crazy bad break ups and ex's. Lynne's Netflix special is airing soon, so make sure you Dudes tune in!! Watch/Listen/Share/Enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network Riotcast.com Welcome to the funniest podcast on the Planet Earth. This is going to be a claustrophic. It's podcast, no rules. What are the mic-ass holes? I'm sure I've already said should I regret? Can I get a mic-a-pull? No!

What the fuck? That was trying to keep it like a comic-head. I have a bunch of eyes on. It's just us sitting down, he happens. Sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's hilarious. Regatta I get a microphone That was trying to keep it like a comic can I have what you guys on just us sitting down Sometimes it's hilarious sometimes it's no topic no directions. I love doing it Side to the coin

Do you think my podcast is popular? I might affect somebody's life. You never know. It's Robert Kelly, so you know what to podcast on whitecast.com. You know what? I'm not going to go with that one. I'm not going to go with that one. I'm not going to go with that one. I'm not going to go with that one. I'm not going to go with that one. I'm not going to go with that one.

I'm not going to go with that one. I'm not going to go with that one. I'm not going to go with that one. I'm not going to go with that one. I'm not going to go with that one. I'm not going to got so much stuff in my mouth. It's all about my mouth. Yeah. It just came in like a little, like a cute little mouth. Oh my god, this bitch is so... Um, yeah, so Robert's in Montreal. Yes. Working.

And I asked him, I have a Netflix special coming out. So I asked him if I could come on, you know what, dude. And he was like, you want to take over the show? That's it. Yes. Sure, yeah. I really would have wanted to do that anyway. I probably would have taken over and talked too much.

But so what the fuck not? I love when you speak, man. Thank you, Greer. And it's a block away from my house. Yeah, so it's simple. Yeah, and I'm wearing stuff I'm going to sleep in. So it makes, it was really, it was kind of a no brainer arm. I mean, it's a little too convenient.

Yeah, so, um, so then we hit, but everybody, like, I was happy that Greer's hair. That's me. Because a lot of people have gone to Montreal, and you're not going this year. Yeah, they don't, they don't, I don't exist. Yes, you do. You've been to Montreal. I have not going this year. Yeah, they don't they don't I don't exist. Yes, you do. You know, about 20 years ago.

I went for like five years in a row. Like, they're mostly somebody missing. I Judy Gold was busy as a matter of fact. The only reason why I went to Montreal because a Dave should power. He said, Greer come with me to Montreal. I was like, I don't have any money. And he said, I didn't ask you that.

Went up to Montreal and I got a holding deal. Really? Yeah. Wow. Just because you went up to Montreal and I got a holding deal. Really? Yeah. Wow. Just because you went with Dave. And he got me on shows when I was out there. That's awesome. Yeah, because I wasn't scheduled to be on anything.

So. Well, wait, I want to get back to it. But then I want to say my friend Melinda's here. Hey. He's one of my best friends for you now. And she's worked on HSN. And she's just amazing actress. And she's worth on HSN and she's just amazing actress and there's a lot of improv and she's really money.

And she's a mom and a dog mom. Like, single. You don't have to be that way. Most importantly, yeah. She's the best. She's the best. She's the best. They're grown, that's the root gun.

Greer, don't ask her. Do you have any kids? No, I was gonna make a baby. I don't like a baby, so you got about a six egg left. I was like three and a half left. I don't even have enough, right? You need one more kid there. Until the day I die, one more kid.

I'm definitely gonna have more kids. I don't, I'm somebody was saying to me recently, I put an egg in until the day I die, I'm going to be one more kid. I'm definitely going to have one kid. I don't, I'm somebody who was saying to me recently, I put a egg in you that ain't in you. Oh, you don't have a kid. You eat eggs, I don't know. It sounds like a Tracy Morgan kind of thing. I was like, that's funny. I can create eggs with a friction on my penis.

I shoot both semen eggs. That's exactly right. He probably thinks he does. I call it the combination pattern. Anyway, I knew what I wanted to talk about because Robert was like, just talk about whatever. I don't care what you talk about. I immediately started telling Bobby stuff I wanted to talk about.

I don't fucking care. Don't talk to me. So I was like, okay. Yeah. Lauren, who called you? Don't talk to me about it. You're gonna get yourself off of this and then you're gonna talk to me about it. So anyway, so what I wanted to talk about

were crazy exes. And part of my career got invited on because a gay guy from my dog parks cover. Really? Yeah, I just call him gay Richie. I don't know his last name. He's just one of those good dog park friends. You know, and I really like him and he's always got

like some, he came to a show when I was, let me go back. So the reason I wanted to do this show today was because I have a Netflix special that's coming out. Yes. Congratulations. And now coming out August 22nd.

And it's called hormonal beast. Oh, awesome. Because I am a hormonal beast. And I really am. I'm like almost 50 and I just, I've given up on so many levels and I'm cheering I kind of relate to like people are like, you're really funny. We've been doing this like a hundred fucking years.

And we're both just like, we've both made it successfully to the middle of our career. Yeah. And yeah, that's kind of fucked out. We have the sales there up, but just just no wind. Yeah, we're both in a really nice, nice schooner. Just in the middle of the fucking ocean.

There's no nothing to sit in there floating. And then we know when that someone comes by. Yeah. It moves a little. So, you know, when that happens, you don't swab the deck or do anything like that. Yeah. Like, and lay around in the sun and drink.

So I got some calls this year to do some shit that I was not expecting. I really thought I was wrapping up my life. I even have a TSA application at home. I'm like, you know, how much longer can I, you know, I saw the young blood coming in. Like soon, they're gonna, S. He's gonna be like, we have less spots for you.

Yeah, I'll see you coming in too. I'm getting less spots already. I'm playing out. I see it just happening. Oh. Well, that's what I was gonna say to you. So anyway, I'm there for the grace of God. I got this Netflix special because they needed.

Well, thank you. Yes, absolutely. But that's not why I got it, but I appreciate it. That's why I got it, but I appreciate it. That's why I got it because you're good. They want to target women for 40 to 60. And they saw me at opening for Louis C.K. And Ed is Netflix best or at the garden, which you have also done.

And which is let's talk about how fucking mind boggling that is. And it's not that much of a thing. And it's not that much of a thing. And it's not that much of a thing. And it's not that much of a thing. And it's not that much of a thing.

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it was me because I told. I told homeless people like, Hey, here's the dollar. Guess where I'm coming? You know, and it's weird too, because this career, it's like you have these big highs, and then all of a sudden, it just hits you. And it's like, I always compare it to being a hooker, which my mother says is horrible. But it is what it's like. Makes sense.

Like, sometimes it's a girlfriend experience. And it's like the guard. It's like the guard of the money. They're making a lot of money. And you open your envelope, and there's like the guard and making a lot of money and you open your envelope and there's $5,000 and you're like, oh right. And you're like, this wasn't bad. I, he licked my toes and I called him daddy. My Julia Robertson pretty well, maybe. Exactly like that. Butide, which is fucking... And she wouldn't be driving the Lotus, or would I be like, what, like some old Nova, or a Gremlin. A Fuego.

A 1986 Gremlin, with no door. A Paser. Paser, that's fast. So anyway, our dust door, Paser. So, yeah, so that's what I mean is it's humbling. You do this thing and it's amazing. And Ed and the laughs come in waves, don't they? Yeah.

There's so many people. And then, you know, you're back to like a fucking yoga studio or a long format, you know, wow. And this is a fun. Yeah. Which I performed at about two weeks ago. I performed in a yoga studio. Okay, see, and it was actually fun.

Yeah. I mean, they can be fun. You know, the good part about that is you've got these 12 year old newcomers who are like, listen, we're really glad you could be, I only have $5 that can give you one drink, but we really appreciate it. That's all right, kid. Yeah, that's exactly that's the right kid. Keep it.

Keep it five dollars. Give me the drink. Give me the five dollars, no matter if I'm gonna give you five dollars. But don't bother lightening me, because I'm just gonna fucking talk. And but anyway, so then we were talking right before we started.

We're gonna talk about crazy X's which is part of why both Melinda and Greer are here and before the show I talked about. Because Melinda and I aren't crazy X's yet. Not so many have a baby. They have crazy X's. See Greer, what you guys don't know is that it's a Greer and I work a lot together at the everywhere really. It's kind of like, let's get a middle-aged back to you. A middle-aged white lady. And we'll put the young kids in the middle. And mom and daddy will come out

and open and close the show. I mean, when grier and I see each other, we're always like, are you opening or closing? Yeah, exactly. One of us opened one of us closed. Yes, yes. Yes. We did that. Comic-Standing.

We were the angriest two people we've ever seen. I mean, so angry. We weren't nice to anybody. Were we? No. And we're nice people. But we were just so mad to be there. Because the whole thing was like like don't speak to him

You know like who's the host of the show they like if you know him I've known that dude for 20 years of JB smooth and it's like don't speak to him I was like whoa, what type of contrive bullshit is this right? I hated that. Yeah, that's why and then Corral does in this room They wouldn't let us look at the audience Well, I'll go outside. Yeah, and you know, we're like alliance like the look at the audience. Well, we're gonna go outside. And you know, we're like lions. Like the worst thing you can do to us is to confine us. Yes, yes.

And then confine us with some sort of like predatory where everybody's going over material. And we were the biggest predators in there. That pool was, those other fish didn't have been in that pool. We should have been in that row by ourselves. Me, you, Tony Woods Who else Joe the Rose? What's the out there? We were

The thing when people were like I'm sorry you and weird didn't get it. I'm like, did you watch us audition? Yeah, like our auditions were not I mean Rose and bar is like you know what I think I'm like I think I said yeah What I think I told that what's that one guy I think I told him I didn't care. I didn't agree. The way in brother. Oh, you were great. Can you say all I heard is that you said I was pretty? That's right. Yeah, I was pretty smile. I just heard pretty smile.

Yeah, he says something about how I look like. My friend, my friend Gay Richie just got here. How cute. How cute. How cute. How cute. How cute. How cute. How cute. How cute. How cute. Yeah, he says about how I look like Knocking my friend my friend gay richie just got here I'm here, would you bring with you? This is D. She's a friend from California. What the fuck?

You just brought somebody to like I invite you and you bring a guess And a beautiful young girl that say you could bring a beautiful young girl in here. You fucking idiot Look at your ears. I I'm gonna have a fresh teacher Okay, I don't want you to go near Greer First of all is penis shoot super sperm that will create a baby if you you look at him, you won't have a baby. Don't even speak to me. I'm almost never. And here's, so let's come back for a second.

Right? You just stand by for a second. So every time I'm at work, one of my favorite things at the Comedy Cellar is there's almost always one, at least once a week, maybe more. Some woman standing with like a child on her head, tapping on the glass for Greer. Greer.

Can you get Greer? Can you get Greer? I feel so left out. And he's got like, he's got baby mom, and he's like, come and go in. And he's always got like, you know, he's got one that's sitting at the front of the bar and one at the back of the bar. And then like one day, we're in our talk. And we're like brothers and sisters.

And as you can hear, and we're laughing about something. And one of these girls comes flying over and look, she's looking and I said to Chris, she heard joy. Yeah. Why they laughing? Why is he happy? She pulled out pictures. Oh yeah. She pulled out pictures of the children. Yeah, it was because I was talking to some girl and she decides to pull up her phone with all these pictures of

My kids like I'm in the pictures with the kids like you know, what are you? Power move showing me the What did you do Lynn cuz I would love to know is that Greer? Greer with that teenage boy? Um, it's pretty funny. It's fun being a female comic because you have a lot of guy friends and they're like having a bunch of brothers. Right.

And, you know, we were just talking before the show about that new show on TV. And dying up here. Yeah. And it's so depressing. Everyone asked me like, is it good? I'm like, it's so fucking depressing. I have to watch this. It's so depressing.

But it's very realistic. Like, it's kind of like what are our lives? Like, there's one episode they were just talking about how the girls that are chuckle fuckers. Yeah. They just want to fuck guys who are comics. The real thing. It's a real thing.

I mean, I've had girls come up to me after shows and say to me, like, is Dan Maderman available? Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. You don't matter, I'm back. You give me two seconds, I get him with a bow on his head. Yeah, he's available. Been available for like eight years now.

Really? That's interesting. But it's really, you know, my one girlfriend, that lived upstairs for me. Sure. And she was like, you know, how about this one? How about that one? I'm like, I love these guys.

Right. Don't get upset because they're fucking broken. I mean, a lot of them are really, really broken. Not all of them. You know, I don't think Robert is. Kelly? Yeah. Oh, he's fucked.

Oh. Robert Kelly's fucking fucked up. But he's not broken. No, he's not broken. He's a dead. He's like, he's a good dude. Come on. He's got a good woman with him.

You know, Wally's the same way. Wally Collins. Wally Collins, you know. All the ones that got the good, they get married and they have a good wife. Yes. They're okay. I really feel like that.

It's on his way. Yeah, it does on his way. D-net words. Yes. Without a doubt. Yeah. And every now and then, one of them with a wife, I will bump into them by accident,

with not the wife. With the chuckle box. I'm gonna talk about that one. And that always turns the to me going, how's someone so? You can actually do that. Oh yeah, always. Oh, that's awesome.

Always. And then it's always uncomfortable. And it's always like, okay, but I get a odd phone call the next day. Hey, man. Why you do that? You can be cool, right? I'm like, and, but I get a odd phone call the next day. Hey, man. Why you do that? You can be cool, right? Oh, man.

And my only rule is that I'm not cool if she asked me. Like if the wife full on asked me. I'm gonna tell the truth. I'm gonna tell the truth. So just keep that bitch away from me. Yeah. Yeah. Um.

Oh, that'll land. That's what it is. Whatever, and this is my, I don't let. Whatever. And this is my, I don't have my own podcast because I get into the studio sitting and I just start to talk and say shit about anybody. I feel like I'm just like, oh, and you know what? I just started to, I almost said somebody's name that I would have regretted so much. So anyway, what I want, what you know what, dude, I wanted to talk about today was crazy X's and our experiences because I am a crazy X like I had a guy once hang up on me and

I flew to Bridget. This one. I had to go to the music. Man, you got on the plane. Oh, no, no, no, this was so great. I had the idea. That was amazing. Man, you got on the plane? Oh, no, no, no. This was so great. I had deal money. This was back when bitch was... Can we even find one of the pictures of me when I was really cute?

I was cute for like 15 minutes. Super cute. And we got it. Well, thank you. But you know, I'm now, I'm 50-year-old woman, bloated, beautiful. Then I was... It's not...

It wouldn't be on any of these you have to like Google this is all real shit it would have to be. Um, there's one more. I'm in that half shirt. You'll see. And I hate that. And listen, if anyone listen to this comes and sees me headline. There it is up in the corner. There she is. Yeah she is. There she is. There she is. There she is. Seriously. Yeah, Cindy Covey all the way. Oh my God, I got that on camera.

That was a tough one. And you know what's fucked up? I did not think I looked good then. Really? Is that funny? I thought I was, I thought I didn't think I should wear a half shirt. I thought my stomach would look like a belly. Right.

And now that I have a belly, I have like three bellies. Then I'm like, that's not a belly. What did you wear when you showed up? When you flew to Virginia. Oh, remember? Oh, yeah, I do. I wore cowboy boots and cut off shorts. Yeah, you did.

And, um, He boots me for walking. And what happened was he hung up on me, and I looked like that, and I had deal money. I had a deal with NBC. Not squandered. I love it. It's about a power. He hung up and I flew there.

He hung up and I couldn't get a hold of him. So I flew to Virginia Beach, D. I flew. And I will tell you to this day, now I'm 50, and that was at 38. Yeah. And I've never you to this day, now I'm 50 and that was at 38. Yeah. And I've never felt the same satisfaction, maybe at Madison Square Garden, that I felt when that man opened the door and flinched.

Oh! Hahaha! No! Hahaha! The excitement, the scene of Motherfucker jumping back. Hahaha! You will never feel the power of that moment when he looks at you and just another one I did was here

when I dated the guy who was in a band and Miranda Lambert's band. And he also didn't return to calm, broke up with me from Texas. And then flew here, we're supposed to meet here. They were doing Letterman. And I knew what hotel they were staying at. And he got sick, because a dumb fucking hillbilly,

a salmon in the diner. And he was sick, and he called and said, it didn't return my calls all day, but we were supposed to meet up. Right. And we were at about the same time, and he said, I left a message that was like, sorry, I can't meet you. We got Letterman in the morning. And I

was in the car in the taxi going to his hotel. And I was on the phone with a guy friend who said to my friend Rich, who said, get out of the car, get out of the taxi now. I'm not going to support this crazy. I do not support this crazy. And I said, no, thanks for the talk. I feel good support this. It's crazy. And I said, no, thanks for the talk. I feel good about it. It's too late. I'm going to go ahead and go.

And I hung up. And when I got to the hotel, I realized, you know, they're going to be on Letterman tomorrow. It's Miranda Lambert's band. I don't know the name because I'm not in the entertainment. We've broken up two days ago. I don't know the, the, the, the, a K-A name.

I don't know their alias. So I said, listen, my, my boyfriend from, you know, we broke up two days ago, he's here in this hotel. And I know more than the Lambert's pants here. Just no lie. And I said, I want to talk to him. So you know, who tell me what hotels will do? Like, he's not here. Did you make that face you just made right now?

And no, tell me he's not here. Yes, he is here. I know he's here. And I said, why don't you call Miranda's mother and put her on the phone. So they put her on the phone. She's the manager of the band and Miranda had a song called Crazy X Girlfriend. It still does. And I said, whatever name the mother's name was like, Terry or something. I said, Terry, because we met. I said, you know me, Alex did not do this properly. Your daughter wrote a song about it.

I'm in the lobby. I'm sorry. I've bothered you in the band. I know you have an early wake up call, but he promised to meet with me. And he didn't. And I think that it's rude. And he needs to talk to me face to face

and break up with me like a man. She said he'll be right down. Oh, nice. The elevator door is open. The elevator door is so big that my mother-fucker was like, what? And he flinched, too? Yes, we went outside and I put my hand on my purse

and I jumped. Oh, I love it. And I said, why are you jumping? And he said, I thought you had a gun or something. And if I want you to shot, you'd have been shot. It's stupid. I'm going to shoot you in New York. I'm going to fight you back to my house, those shoot, too.

So those are my crazy stories. It's pretty great. You don't have, do you have any stories where you were crazy or you have, you just have people who were crazy to you? Yeah, you know me. I'm very stubborn and I'm Irish. I'm very self-control. So I wait I wait it out I'll push every button and then sit really quietly until they come to me So I mean the worst the probably the worst thing that's ever happened to me is I dated a guy Don't laugh. He was psychic and intuitive that's why he was living. Oh, he's psychic, did he see this coming?

Nope, he did not see it coming. And that does not feel attractive either. I know, he can not have been attractive. I thought he was, but once the love glow wore off, I recognized that he wasn't. That was a spell. Yeah, yeah. He had a spell on you. Yeah. I mean, I've had a couple of like stalkery things, but I've never had anybody like, you know,

I love that she throws it out like has nothing. I've had a few stalker trees. We've had people, I mean, you probably have being a professional comedian, right? People just go on stalking me. I've never had a stalker. That's actually right. I'm already in the bush when they crawl in. I was waiting. Oh, hey. Well, you call me too much. You're giving out your address in your set, so.

Exactly. I'll know where you live. You can't stalk my ass. Honey. Yeah, not any one particular. I've had a couple of stalkers where, you know, it won't all just get my ex-husband was the worst soccer problem because he couldn't accept the fact that it was over.

So I was working in a HSN. I'd be doing a show at three o'clock in the morning and then after I get off set, my phone would light up and he would have set a text saying, love that red dress. Just to show he was watching me agree with him. Really creepy. And here's the sad part of the story. Like I went to the police and you can't do anything about it

because it's not threatening to say I like your red dress. It's not threatening. So my only revenge was to just find someone really young to fuck and then be like, hello, this is what I'm doing now. And he eventually going away. Yeah. That's a little bit. My first feeling when I heard that was to go to a police station

and find the hottest guy. Oh, I should have. And just be like, hey, I should have been obsessed with a cop. And then just be like, I need you to go scare the fuck out of this little hole. That actually would have been a good idea. Yeah, or need you to go scare the fuck out of this little hole. Yeah. Go speak to that guy.

Yeah, or just go to a fire station. Yeah. I find the cute fireman. You're quick on your feet. I ended up dating a bully who actually kind of bullied him so he went away. It was not as exciting as a hot cop or a fireman, but I'm going to do that now for no good reason. No need to scare him. It's better to scare him.

It's better to scare them. It's better to scare them. Yeah. And yeah, in the minute he said you're wearing a red dress. Yeah. I like that red dress. I don't get stalkers because I just will tell somebody like I don't like you. Right. You need to stop.

You are frightening. Leave me alone. Yeah. There's something mentally wrong with a person, my name. Well of course. Because I would never do that. Like I just, I get, what, I'm gonna go watch what you're doing. Right.

Yeah, right. You get your heart broken, but you may not. I'm pretty powerful, Greer, I don't know. You fucking cried out. You fucking have been visioned another chicken your head that you want. And you keep moving. You don't fucking stop. I'm hoping you know what, dude.

You know what, dude? For the show. There are, you know what dude for the show. There are, there are different levels of crazy. Because honestly, that I'm gonna watch you, you know you're crazy when you're sitting in the bushes watching. You know that's crazy. You're still getting around that. But like the stuff I would do, where I go, like that's just full lack of dignity.

That's just like no pride, no dignity, just full on, on the wall. Like I don't care about me enough. You know, like I can't even imagine who I am now doing that. I can't even imagine giving a shit. Like I would have just been like fuck you who needs your tired hillbilly Strong hanging out of your mouth. Ask true, but um, and he really did always have a toothpick

But but now you know and that's the way I look now Like I just wish I could have seen myself and been. I'll slow you. I remember that one. Yeah. I've seen the power that I really had. I had no idea. Oh my god. You were like I'm killing it back. Betty. You killing me. Oh my god. It's unbelievable. Um, so Greer, can we talk for a second? No. Your your handfuls are crazy. Then we're going to talk about some gay crazy and then I have to plug a We have a really nice sponsor for Bobby show that we're gonna talk about. Okay, but Now you have how many baby mamas? Four

Yeah, and one one of them wait in perpetuate a theory of the way by oldest son's mother pass away. Oh, wait a turn that around real quick. Yeah, I do it. Yeah, yeah, hold up now. How to get rid of her? Openly admitted it. We're only laughing at the three surviving ones. When did you do?

You're in a man. Do you always point that out to the other ones? No, like whenever people ask me how many kids I have, I tell them I have five kids and four baby mothers, but one of them passed away. So yeah. But that's one you really loved a lot. Oh my God, I wish she was still alive. Yeah, and that's the one that she was alive in your life.

You know what's so crazy? I don't think I would have these two young ones that I have if she was still alive. I don't think she would have let you have it. I mean, she had you online. Yeah. It was like Mike Tyson went fucking custom out of pasta way.

Everybody's swooping like fucking bulges. Oh, yeah. I mean, not that bad, but. Yeah, no, but I get it. I don't think I would have had these two kids though if she was She were alive with these other two. Yeah, I would have just had I would have had my son and my daughter So we have two baby mamas three baby mamas three baby mamas to that I know You know Melissa

I love that you just say it anyway She hates my gut that woman wants me to fail. Like she I'm telling you that's her. Yes, it is true. That chick is 100% like if she could do anything, you know what she'd like to do. She'd like to destroy my career if she could. Oh, wow. She's a waitress in the club and I look at her as I'm killing the crowd.

Yeah, I destroy every night. I don't I'm not sucking my own, but I can. She, I could see it in her eyes. I could, it makes her, she gets infuriated because she wants people to hit. No, no, no, no, no, no, shut it. She's a wretched person. Stop it, stop it.

Sorry. All right. I wanna tell you what, I'm gonna tell you what this is. Uh oh, hey, go on, Tila. Yeah, on Tila is gonna step in. I'm gonna put love on it in God because listen to me, she does not want you to fail. You do.

Cause I know Melissa. She doesn't want you to fail just cause she wants you to fail. It's because you were very attractive when you're succeeding. And she does not want you to be, we just talk about chocofuckers. She does not want you to be attractive to women. Oh, Greer. Oh my God. If your nose can go pin out You don't meet seriously Grab some right now

Chuckle away downstairs and grab a couple They all outside. Yeah. Yes. Yes you did. I don't know. What if your baby mom has must have been a chucklefucker? You think? I don't know.

Maybe they all were. No. If there's four of them. If anyone, it's this last one. Yes. If any of them. She works in the comedy club. Yeah.

For sure, it's a chucklefucker. They will. I know these girls. You are a powerful friend. Yeah. And the whole thing on that show is the Chuclefacher girl, what's kind of sad and tragic is that she basically says, just like a lot of the girls that have sex

with that are groupiest for bands, that she wants a little bit of that glory. Yeah. And she believes that it's like shot into her. Yeah. Twice. Twice. Yeah. I'm a man. glory. And she believes it's like shot into her. You like movies, TV shows, music, and I guess you don't like spending a lot of money, right? Do me a favor. Just go to deepdiscount.com. A new sponsor of my show and a great site to find tons of cool stuff without spending a lot of money. That's deepdiscount.com or click their logo on my homepage at riotcast.com slash Robert Kelly.

Just go to the website, riotcast, go to my page, click on the logo, check it out, and buy a few things. Look, be good to yourself. And you'll be supporting with my sponsors too. Okay, so if you listen to this podcast and your fan, go support my sponsor, deepdiscount.com. This site is loaded with all your entertainment needs. CDs, vinyls, DVDs, blue rays, video games, and so much more. I'm Tonya, I'm in Brussels right now.

I've been on a boat for three days, and I bought, I went to deep discount and used my days, and I bought, I went to Deep Discount and used my code, and I bought a bunch of movies for the kids, and me and my wife and my friends, because they have a DVD player right on the boat, and we got to watch movies at night. It was awesome. Awesome, CDs, vinyls, DVD, blue rates.

They have video games, so much more. And this week, there's a sci-fi sale going on. That's over 400 sci-fi movies and TV shows to choose from. Like Twilight Zone, Star Trek, Men in Black, and a bunch of Godzilla movies. I think they're like 15 Godzilla movies. Just look for their special coupon codes and sales icons to save even more money on their already low prices. The name says it all. DeepDiscount.com. Everything is deeply discounted. And you'll find new releases too.

Okay, this week, the fate of the furious, the latest in the franchise with Lynn Diesel and the Rock. Get your copy now on DVD Blu-ray Ultra HD for a really great price, deepdiscount.com, or click there logo on my homepage, ricotcats.com slash Robert Kelly. Of course you'll also find a bunch of my material there, a bunch of comics that are on the show there at deepdiscount.com. Support us, launches, and be good to yourself, buy it, own it, watch it when you want to. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras te esperan.

¡Fliparás! Vuelades de madrida murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. ¡I've also gotten groupies which I find hilarious! ¡No! ¡Yeah, it's really bizarre! I'm getting groupies. I make guys from from doom and stand up who come over and like know my act and stuff.

As you should, it's a very powerful watching you on stage though. That's why I stand very close to you when you get off stage. You're the one that I was like, you ever fuck a headliner in her friend? You got her, you got me too. But you know what, when a woman's in love and you're not given the love back, we turn that love into rage. So that's probably where that's exactly. Yeah. Yeah. That's where it comes from. It's rage because we want it and we're not getting it from you. So we're not getting it. We're not going to be gracious about it. We then, we want you to be destroyed, which feels normal.

See? It feels normal. Didn't I? What I just said? I don't know. We want you destroyed. You just said it. I can't believe, though, that I'm.

We want a new two. I don't even, I don't have my own children. And I can't believe someone who has children with somebody would want you destroyed when you're not pet, when you're not physically bad to them or bad to the children. No, but I'm sorry, maybe it's because whatever you said about this whole power thing and wanting to be a part of that or whatever, but, you know.

But you got to admit this, she's waiting tables. You're on stage. That's kind of like, let's put it in like courtly terms. You're the king and this bitch is just like feeding grapes to people on the court. Right. But she's torn kind of, it's kind of like doing it. It's kind of hard not to wish a fucking dragon

would swoop in here and burn this motherfucker just a little bit. A little. I don't want it to die, but I wish it, when he eats his food, he gets a little sick. Okay, we're going to talk to Robbie in a minute. But first I have to do a little plug for her. Now Robert has a, let's see, he's got a whole new sponsor for the show called deepdiscount.com. Nice. Which I love because I love deepdiscount.com. That sounds sexy too. No, no, deepdiscount.com. Nice. Which I love because I love to drop my.

That sounds sexy too. None of it deep. Deepdiscount. Not shallow. Discount. This is some deep. This is deep discount right here. I like it.

Do you have any kind of music you can play the background? Yeah. Can you play me some of that like let's get it on? Can you just slow jam this? Yeah, let's do it. of that like let's get it on you need to slow jam this Thank you drop it down Nice Give me one second. We like it. I'm looking over it. I could do it right. See that in your radio voice girl. That was nice What deep discount?

Count down I'm gonna read it and I want you to back me up. Yeah, when you're backing up like old school, Motown style. Oh, yeah. You know you want to go to deepdiscount.com. Deepdiscount.com. A new sponsor, a Robert Kelly show.

Robert Kelly, baby. It's a slightly loaded, deep, distanced, with all kinds of fun stuff to keep you occupied CDs, vinyl, DVDs, blue rays, video games, and so much more. And where does that go to keep this count. Okay. You said deepdiscount.com. Or think they're logo on the homepage writecast.com slash Robert Kelly

check it out and buy a few things be good to yourself and you'll be supporting a sponsored trip. That's right. This week, seepdiscount.com joins in on all the USA celebrations during their independence sale. Independent. Independent.

Independent. So I like that. Over 5,000 independent movies and music are on sale. Indie favorites like Slingblade, Billy Bob Thornton, Resvard Dogs, Kill Bill, and so many more. I'd like all of that. Yeah. What's the name of this place again?

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The name says it all. What is it, Greg? Deep discount. Everything is deeply discounted. So good. Get this? I like this. That was deep. Everything is deeply discounted so good And we made it so sexy. It's like you'll find new releases That's great Deep discount dot com right on rubber-culling

Whoever's sight this is the guy's wife is gonna listen and be like shit Hi, Matt you got your fast Matt Lipton Matt Lipton and just got here from Brooklyn you got your fast. How'd you get here? Did you take it over? Train? Train. Train. Train. Awesome. After. Well, this is, um, the deep after. I have my crazy. We're talking about crazy S. We don't have a lot more time. So before we get to, to, um, Matt, I want to talk, let Matt cool down for a minute. Give Matt a cocktail.

I brought cocktails today. My mom used to make this punch. You're a coach. I call it a collage gator punch. So good. And it's, um, it's bourbon. So good. You really got to say it like that.

She's dropping eggs. It's bourbon and limeade. It's bourbon and limeade. It's bourbon and limeade and ginger ale. And it's so good. It's really perfect. Is limeade like gatorade? No, it's that limeade that you get.

It's like from when I was a kid that you get that you can the frozen food section. Okay. It's so good. And you mix it with gatorade. was a kid that you get that can the frozen food section. Okay. And you mix it with gay ray. I mean, with ginger ale and with bourbon. It's really good. You're welcome to sound.

You want some? I love it. This is my friend Richie from the dog park. Hi Richie from the dog park. We're calling him gay Richie for radio purposes. Gay Richie. And his friend Dee, who's in from out of town. She's very beautiful.

We were alone. Deep Dee from out of town. God. I don't want you guys to say no one's going to mess with Dee. I get scared when I see young beautiful girls. I'm always like, get behind me. I got to put you. They're going to have to fuck through me to get me in Don't you worry, Dee, I got contraption in there.

There was a contraption. Did you ever hear that, by the way? There was this thing that you could put up like a IUD. In your vagina? Yes, but if a guy snaps like a giggle, no, no no it would explode a color no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no woman is Virginia. It's biodegradable, all natural. I thought it'd be like a bear trap and it just cuts the tip right off. I know they're actually one out. I just read two days ago.

There's actually one out now. First time the countries where they're having problems with that, we actually has ridges. So if a man tries to rape a woman, it actually will cut its dick up. So heads up. I get you. Wow. I don't rape women. I know will cut its dick up. So, heads up, Greg. Yeah, wow. I don't, I don't rape women. I know you know.

I know, I know. I'm afraid you're afraid you can have to rape. You're angry as fuck, me like, yeah. Fuck me one last time. One last time. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah She bear catch you. She bear catch you. Oh my God, what country is this? Jesus, Molly. You know what?

I'll send you the link. I actually just read it two days ago, because you know, there were having serious problems, and that's a way to really stop it when that's happening. Like in Mexico, these women, I got buses strictly for women, because fucking dudes are like, grope in the shit out of women. It's like, yeah.

Like the Puerto Rican they prayed. Oh my God, do you remember that footage from two years ago? Yeah. Oh yeah. I used to do a joke about how I wore a tank top to the Puerto Rican. They parade and nothing happened Maybe feel bad about why We were gonna talk to Richie, weren't we? Yes, we were and so y'all started talking about fucking Bosnian stuff So y'all started talking about fucking Bosnian stuff on my back.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I did. No, no, Richie. Yes. I feel like you probably have some, I want to talk about gay crazy. Is that different than right than hetero crazy?

We just came out of gay pride. Yeah. Yeah, gay crazy is different. It's a little bit more vindictive. But not in the way that everyone would expect it, you know? Streets, you know, would call someone's parent, it may be tell them what an alcoholic or drug addict the other person is, gay crazy will just like

ruin your car or your wardrobe. I've had ex-boyfriends pour bleach all over my clothes. Yeah, I can see how that could fall down. Well, that's not on my Korean girl crazy. What the hell is Korean girl crazy? Oh no, Korean girls will like break your shit crazy Really? Oh, yeah every every every Korean girlfriend I've had what what if this video you? What are you?

Vietnamese Vietnamese girl long crazy Japanese the Vietnamese are great Yeah, but Queen girls will fuck your shit up and their mother will encourage it. Oh for sure So gay crazy is different. I've had bleach poured all over my clothes. I've had a guy try to set me on fire. Oh, man. What do you mean? That's true. He locked me in a closet and grabbed a light.

It's awful. Yeah, it is, but it's a great story. Grab a lighter and a can of aerosol hairspray and try setting me on fire. What did you do? But he starts lighting my designer clothing on fire. And it's like bringing someone's child. You're just watching it, go down and flames.

I mean, I made it out alive. I think that's just regular crazy, though. Is this regular crazy? I think that's just regular crazy. They have to be straight out dead. That is crazy crazy. One of my best friends who's gay, he was given another guy a blowjob and his husband

threw a hot oil lamp fire Fire at him. So maybe that is a little bit of a gay thing. Well, I burn you up Yeah, burning of the designer clothes. That's kind of gay, but like and then it's burning of you is regular crazy Man was the craziest thing you had a pretty good rich. I had a true. Oh, God. I had a buddy from my neighborhood I was this girl was living with me. And she started fucking one of my buddies, right? Unbeknownst to my buddy that I was having sex with this check. He thought that we were just roommates.

She moves out of my house. She decides she wants to get back at me. He goes into the bathroom. And he's like, what are you doing? She has bleach. She's putting bleach in my contact lenses. Yeah. Oh my God. And he was like, he's like, what are you doing?

She's like, I'm putting bleach in his contact lenses. And he's like, yeah, no, don't do that. That's not, you know, I like Matt. And like years later, he told me, he goes, yeah, I threw out, you know, that's why your thing was missing I threw out your contact lenses. I was like, oh, thanks man. That's not the same thanks man that's not cool. She was gonna like blind it oh no no that's a different that's a different girl. So wait did he girls on a cup.

We have a two girl one cup. No no no no no it's called the foyer story. Because a girl. Wait for you to tell her story you mean I just asked you question. I've been there one. So did he keep fucking this girl. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,. Like seriously, like, to do the brilliant and he's a fucking thug. So now Tommy, there's a foyer. Yeah. I love it, this is foyer. He's called the foyer story.

I'm not saying anything. Because the girl shit in my foyer. OK, because. I thought it was going to be her name was foyer. No, no, no. That's a black girl. Oh, yeah, thank you. Boy, you're shaking.

Boy, you're shaking're a shaker. You're everybody boy, yeah. Wait, straight, straight, crazy and gait crazy are like because I had a guy shitting my bed deliberately. Deliberate deliberately? I mean, it was unbeknownst to me. I draw back the sheets and there was a giant log. Not like a little smear or a little pebble.

This was like, you could see the contraction marks. Is this too much for you guys? No, no, keep going. He pushed this out in my bed. Because he thought you liked it. Again, if you wanted to ruin my very expensive sheet, it's very like, you know, the gaze like to fuck up your good shit. If I ever shined so in bed, I would move to a different country.

I'd move to Iraq and just... That's kind of like... I thought I would kill myself to... I'm not religious, but I prayed that night for like my soul, because I thought like the devil just shined my bed. I like lit an instant the whole night. That's a crazy thing. But let's get back to the foyer.

Yeah. Foyer, Jenkins. Foyer, Jenkins. So I brought a girl home once, and I wake up the next morning like no girl right so I was like all right cool So one visit I sat up and like her her pants her shirt her wallet her purse Everything is still strewn about my my floor her like her clothes Right so I was like all right everything is still strewn about my floor, her clothes, right?

So I was like, all right, maybe she's in the bathroom. 10 minutes go by, 20 minutes go by, 30 minutes go by. I'm like, where the fuck is this girl? So I start looking around my apartment. No girl, where could she have gone? My apartment is not that big. Now I'm knocking on my roommate's door, like, hey Steve, Steve, I have a problem.

I have a problem. I have a problem I need to talk to you. I can't find foie Jenkins right she in there Mac go away. I'm sleeping right so I'm like all right. She's in there with him right so Fast forward through the rest of the day my roommate ends up leaving she ends up leaving and I go to I go to brunch And there's a giant pile of black human shit in the middle of my foyer. Why, that's like a footprint in it, man. Like a footprint in it.

That's worse. That's worse. So I call my roommate and I'm like, Hey man, a bare footprint, not a shoe. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Wait, why did she do this?

She was so drunk the night before and my apartment is kind of confusing, because all the doors kind of look the same. So I don't think that can fit. Yeah. I don't have a toilet. A toilet's a toilet. I don't think she could have found the toilet,

so she ended up shitting in the hallway. She ends up she's shot in a full empty room, like a foyer. Yeah. You know, it's not like, if you told me she's shot in a full empty room, like a foyer. Yeah. But you know, it's not like if you told me she sat in a hamper, I would say that's confusing. But I understand that even someone's sat in the bed. That makes sense.

But oh, she's just sat in the open area going into the home. For you. And my roommate, Factor, with a shitty ass. Because I called him on it and he said, no, I didn't. area going into the home. And my roommate fucked her with a shitty ass. Because I called him on it and he said, no, I didn't. I checked. I was like, girl, what's that? Every guy's answer, I checked.

What are they checking for? I guess I don't know. I like the barefoot so she ran out barefooted. No, my roommate ended up stepping in it on this way out the door to go get condoms. Oh, come on. So I passed out. I passed out. She is. She's lying. I think you're better about my life right now. You're responsible to leave for condoms. Yeah, he was responsible. I mean, I mean, for someone who's so disgusted.

Yeah. Well, it gets worse. She was not. No, it can't. She was not no it can't It can't get worse it can't please. I mean what please tell me what happened She she throws up and wait no no no no no no no she was passed out on my couch naked my roommate comes home Season naked girl passed out on the couch and thanks, let's just bring her into my room. Oh, no. So he stepped over the shit. Wait, it was in this.

This is going to end in kind of an assault story. No, it does not end in zoo in this assault story because this girl wanted to bang two guys from New York that were roommates. And that's what ended up happening because they were flirting in the bar beforehand. And she was telling me. It's starting to sound like. It was weird. She maybe, to say she really wanted that, when she's that passed down and she's shat in the past,

and it's going into some cosplay territory. You know she wanted it. Well, the point of the story is it's supposed to be light and fluffy. Oh. And I just got really fucking dark Nothing no no sexual assault She wants you so the point is you guys were friends with the squirrel after you talked to her

Shit And you stop with her too Yeah, I let her blow me, but that a and she was like, you know, I had a lot of yeah She's like I had a lot to drink last night. You know, I'm really sorry. I really like you I'm like, no, no, no, you slept with my roommate. That's fine. She goes, oh no, but I had a lot of drink last night I said no, no, no five minutes ago. I heard you fucking my roommate. It's not a big deal. It's cool Wow, you know, she's like so can I still meet your parents? Basically.

Did you say it? No. She lived in like, I think like North Carolina or something. Oh, that was that was the problem. I hope she is. Yeah. Yeah. She lived in North Carolina. It was why you didn't date her.

Right. Right. She's a good guy. Yeah. Yeah. That you shit in my foyer, yeah, or my foyer for you. Oh, that's pretty, yeah, that's friend. And it's French, they would shoot in that. And walk through it. I mean, I need condoms, I don't care.

I do not care. I love shooting, peaking, everything. I just don't want my asses. I sprayed for a few months shit. I will say I dated a French guy, and I love date French guys. Have you dated a French guy? I am. Everybody get one of them. You dated one day.

Do you know what? Why would I want a French guy? I love you. I love you. They're dirty, and they will do anything. They want to do anything. They're so fun. and they will do anything. They want to do anything. They're so fun. And you can do it.

Like the one time, the one French guy that I really dated, I remember he was very, very beautiful. Like, like, he was on a billboard and timescrow beautiful. And I ate chocolate while we had sex. Because I was like, I'm never going to get to do this again. It was pretty great. So I was like, hold on a second. And I had little chocolate morsels and a cup like

at the end and the dresser in my room. And I opened the dresser and we were doing, he was like behind me, we were doing a doggy style and he goes, are you eating? And I'm like, some chocolate morsels. I was like, oh, let net yourself by me. You love your food. That's beautiful. I think that more is the little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little dramatic. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn And very, and that, oh, I mean, and sexual, like they'll just have sex anywhere, all times. It's nice. You guys got all quiet.

I think we're all feeling it. I think we're all feeling it. I think we're all feeling it. I think we're all feeling it. I think we're all feeling it. I think we're all feeling it. I think we're all feeling it. I think we're all feeling it.

I think we're all feeling it. I think we're all feeling it. I think we're all feeling it. I think we're all feeling it. I think we're all feeling it. I think we're all feeling it. I think we're all feeling it. I think we're all feeling it. I think we're all feeling it. I think we're all feeling it. I think we're all feeling it. I think we're all feeling it. I think we're all feeling it. Actually, it's the best way, fuck Tinder, you just wait from the come out of a youth hostel looking confused with a dirty backpack.

You know, honestly, once I was dating an Italian guy and I thought it was a bad ex because after he cheated on me, I called his mother and I thought I was being a horrible ex. But now that I hear about this shitting bang, I actually don't think it was that bad. I just knew he was afraid of his mother. I was like, how can I hurt you? I'll call the mom, and she's like, don't worry. I got this. I'm afraid of my mother.

I got this. I don't fuck with Anna Elizabeth Barnes. Yeah, I thought it was pretty good about that. When she calls me, I get nervous. I'll see her. Yeah, I was like like what did I do Yeah, and because and because you have children I would think your girl the women would feel like they they have some Press and call the mom sure. They're very disrespectful to my mother. No Except for the one that's stupid. Yeah, that's really stupid. That's really stupid

So my mother has no rapport with them. Oh, that's stupid. See the first first thing I would do, the first thing I would do is say to the mother, you know, I love her so much. I wish he loved himself as much as I love her. Oh, yeah, that's so perfect. He's giving me these beautiful children. He's so talented and wonderful. I just wish I could help him get out of his way. You weigh such a beautiful son, such a beautiful person.

Am I in my way? I think your mother would say, yes, let's help him. Because mothers want to help. I love that. You always connect with the mother. It's so important. And you can't say the mother like he's a piece of shit. No, she raised you.

No, you never say that because you love them. And the mother will let you know he's a piece of shit. I've had that. I always, my feeling is whenever a mother says the guy's crazy, like if a mother says about her own son, beware of my son, get the fuck away from him. Yeah, I've learned that. I was like, now she's just protected her son.

I'm in. I got this. So you remember sound. Yeah. When I dated it's now and it's half a four years and everyone called the magician. They said, oh, I think he hates that. That's worse than shitting in a hole. But when it's now when I broke up, his mother and I were really close. She was Italian. And I'm a lot. I was her name.

And when he broke out, he was like, what? Ain't that a drink? You can get a dog in Dona, right? She cried and I cried and I called my mother and I'm like, you know, Mrs. Foriel and I were crying. She was so sad and my mom said, she should be. Yeah.

I did that. I did that. My mom goes, I'd be sad too. She lost the good one. Yeah, that's right. You're amazing. I would be sad too. She lost the good one. Yeah, I would be sad to lose you. Duplex. You don't know Sal's joke. Duplex. This is one joke. I don't know.

I didn't find much of that. That was the part of our relationship when I had to break up with him. I could work at the seller. Oh, yeah. Because he opened the club right next to the company seller and as he said and we have to because he was being such a dick she was like we're we're gonna have to make people choose and she's like I don't want to do that to you and I said I pick seller. I stopped I stopped working. Fuck yourself. I stopped working for years today.

You know what? Peace out. Yeah. Tell your mom what's up. I stopped working at the seller for like two years. day. Peace out. Peace out. Yeah. Tell your mom what's up. I stopped working at the cellophilic two years. That's who I was working at. No.

Yeah. That's where we met. You big cell over the cell. Because I got to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to felt like it was and it was just me being a fucking child. SD had given me very little spots like for a month. So I was like, okay, like come out. Yeah. You drank South Kool-Aid. Come on, what in my place? You'll be a star. Because I used to and I would see no and no, I was like, great. Well, you know, when you come back, like, I'll be back. I'll be back. And I would see him like every other two or three months. I'll be back. And then, you know, one

day I was like, yeah, I hear my nails. Okay, you guys, when we have to wrap up soon. So what are things that we want to talk about and plug? Does anyone have anything deep discount? That's not a premature discount that's a deep discount Matt what's going on with you oh nothing in your life? This podcast I like to plug this podcast Most I've done in so long I'm so happy just to get out of the house It's great. He just wanted to play hard to get. He was really outside the whole time. He's like, oh, I'm working. I'll be there. I think a lot of people that don't live in New York

think that people live in New York do so many exciting things. True. Yeah. But they think people do so many things and we were talking about it before the show. They don't realize that most of us are broke ass broke. And most people in New York really don't do much at all White people, you know, when people invite you over, you're like great. Are you sure? Okay. Do you know me? I can see your closet. That's a fun thing in New York is just to see how people live.

You always want to look at someone else's house. Absolutely. Richie, what's going on with you? Not much. I don't really have much to plug other than myself. Richie, what's going on with you? Not much. I don't really have much to plug other than myself. Richie Rich. What do you do, Rich?

I'm an actor. Not a very popular one. He does hair and... Yeah, I kind of just float around and see who will pay me a buck to do whatever they want. I like it. One of my favorite stories, can I tell this real fast? It will do it really fast. After I did the audition for this Netflix saying, Richie and all my friends stories, can I tell this real fast? It will do it really fast.

After I did the audition for this Netflix saying, Richie and all my friends came, I called everyone that I knew and said, please come so that I can send Netflix a real tape that looks good. Everyone came, everybody came. Richie got really drunk and when it was ever we were friends from the dog park. Richie, we were like kind of teasing and making fun of them and Richie's very very cute very

young and cute and he just ran off and we were in the in Chelsea because we were at Abazek Gotham and he ran into this hotel or into this apartment building not hotel apartment building and we had passed the door man and just was gone and our friend Angelo who's kind of like the mother of the group, right? So Angelo goes, I gotta go take care of her. And Angelo goes in, and I see Angelo with his arms like this talking to the concierge guy.

Angelo comes out and he goes, so Richie's on the elevator just pushing buttons. No. I'm not sure what my objective was that night. I'm gonna stop on one of these phones. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I had somewhere to go. And they could see him on the television. Oh.

But this is typical Richie Rich behavior, right? Yeah. The way his was like, we don't really need to call the police. He's not doing anything, everybody. He's not gonna do anything. He'll get tired and come down. And then he just came. I'm talking to Alex.

Good time. I once had one of Lynn's friends grabbed me by the face and pushed me into a bathroom stall after I tried raping him with my mouth when I... I... Oh, God. Yes, one of my friends. Oh, God.

Who actually just lost his husband like two years ago and this was like one of his first outings and Richie like mouth rapes I like popped out of a you know the Russian skull ready to attack That's gay crazy. Wow. This is fun. This is the last time Robert's ever gonna let me We're so excited to have you host I have fun being on it and Melinda we you're you're Handle on and because Melinda her Facebook is really fun and she's really funny and there's does Instagram on it and her just go eat a donut just go in yeah, I

I do tell vision might speak at women's events so that's kind of my deal. Yeah, I would love to speak But you have to look at her Instagram because it's really funny. I would Instagram friends I feel like we are yeah, we are like you're stuff all the time without being too stalker I'm in this right on time, but I please please please and if it sounds like begging it is please watch Netflix hormonal bees August 20 seconds Do it every day you have to do tweeted toilet so excited please There she is oh my god. Oh, yeah, look at the cancels look at the cancels. I love it the cancels the cancels look at the cancels I love it the cancels the cancels

That outfit is off the hook I told it wasn't you Greer it was no Mike yard. I said I look like a doll and Jessica's Since I had a baby Both hot Anyway, thank you for listening. We miss Bobby Bobby back next time and you're listening to You know what dude and don't forget deep discount calm Been listening to the YKWD podcast

Thanks for listening Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free. And they're all free. Shite. Free.

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