Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Funky Rings

Episode Date: October 7, 2019

We start off with a My Wife Hates Me preview with Rich Vos and Bonnie Macfarlane with Bobby arriving late in this weeks YKWD! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa en preno, conocernos y no creer olvida. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos lia. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la Dición Especial de Madrid nos lia. Un humenaje de de mal, a Madrid.

¡Welcome to what's this YKWD podcast! ¿Dime la stands for? ¡You know what, dude! ¡Bobby's running a little late. So Bonnie, McFarland, Vos and Richard Vos McFarland are here to co-host until Bobby gets here. Bobby stuck, I think, in a doorway, but he stuck somewhere. So he's on his way. If he makes it, hopefully, within the next, I don't know 15 20 minutes and he could take over and run his popular

Funny great podcast. I mean we we did our podcast this morning My wife hates me Bonnie and I and I talked to the podcast people they said it came out crystal clear and it was very funny So let me introduce The co-host for now Bonnie McFarland. Bonnie, how you doing? Hi. That's Bonnie. That's Bonnie. I tried to give it a little something different than I do. I don't want it to

turn into my wife hates me. It's not at all. This is a upscale podcast where the host yells at everybody and pretends he's better than them. And he takes advantage of their open micness. Wait, wait, well, I feel like he Bobby Kelly takes a lot of shit in here too. People come in and they, I'm not talking about his guests. I'm talking about all these, you know, open micers. Oh, the cult. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It is a cult. That's a good way of putting it. Like, look, you know, and then said. Oh, the cult. Yeah. Yeah. It is a cult. That's a good way of putting it. Like, look, you know, it's, and it's sad. It's dead eyes, all of them scared. Well, what's sad is they think, no, I, you know, I'm sure he gives them opportunities, puts them on his shows and stuff. But the bottom line is they're, they're like interns and I don't like it. Yeah.

Well, why would you change, Rich? You, uh, I would run the whole thing. No, you'd be gone. Oh, sure. I think you're. I'm going the wrong way on that one. I'm going the wrong way. I see now. No, what would I, I wouldn't change anything. I would just, uh, I wouldn't give the false hope that all you guys have. I don't have hope. Huh? I don't have hope. You don't have hope?

Okay, good. How about you? Full of it. Full of hope? I can't get it. I have so much in saying it. See, you should have hope because you come from hope. Okay.

Okay. Hope? No, not really. Not really. But you're here to thing with you and you. You both have engineering backgrounds where you could. Because you, I mean, when you do fail in comedy, he just looks like he does. Okay.

Well, he has an engineering background. No, he's a part-time terrorist. This is true. Everybody needs something to fall back on. Yeah. You need some of all back. Look at all the stuff he's working here. You don't think he has any technology. Look at all these boards and buttons and knobs. Could you do this? Yes, I do do that. So you have background. So maybe you three should uprise, tell Bobby, make some demands or say, hey, we're gonna go start

our own, you know, sound, whatever. Recording studio or. We just do a podcast with three people behind the board and no one talking. Well, no, no, no, what I'm saying is you rent a space and you can bring podcasts in because you have you know you get to technical equipment, the stuff and then all you need is a host or two.

Then you start your own thing and you branch off, then you build and you guys can call I don't know you have a name for your company three three losers or whatever Gabby will be the one at a co-host Well, I'm on one of the podcasts. I think you could carry it. I think you're you have strong beliefs I think you're good at getting coffee. I am all right. So what do you think about this Bonnie? Am I giving good ideas? Yeah I am. All right. So what do you think about this, Bonnie? Am I giving good ideas?

Yeah. Yes. No, I zone out. I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention at all. I was really, as you turned to me, I was like, oh, I have not been here. You know, so I'm sorry. I was going to give myself time to catch up, but then you asked me right away.

Okay. Listen, I'm a big fan of Bobby. I'm a big fan of Bobby. I'm a big fan. I'm a big fan of Bobby's Kelly. Big fan of Bobby's hard work is daddy. I'm getting text. Hold on, let's see if it's Bobby. Um, message fails to send. What? I'll look at it. I'll deal with this later. Thank God. Thank God. Thank God. I'm a big fan of Bobby's. Well, one, him as a fan. It is like, this is exactly how you are on our podcast,

except it's just then me yelling at you, but this way was better. Did this get the point across at all? The laughter. What about picking up my text? I thought it was Bobby. It's so. What's that?

I mean, I don't know what we're going to do if it was Bobby. He might have been sending me a message, hey, be there in 10, hey, be there in 15. Hey, won't be here. That's all. Bobby, I'm coming. And neither am I. But listen. What?

Really? That's What, really? That's the, what, what if you, is it, that, is it too late? What time is it? It's a little throw away, that's all. No, no, don't do those at all. Okay. You know, honestly, keep the quality up. Okay.

Don't mix it up. You, sometimes genius brilliant, you, you coming through. It's like, some time. I've got, please calm please come why because I'm complimenting you I can't go ahead whenever I go ahead I mean since can you show that at me what what are you saying I'm saying that sometimes you're brilliant you know and

you know then when you do those other things people go oh he's dumb well here's what I here's what I'm gonna quality up this is what we're going to do. Let quality be your part. I have a good idea. We're all going to take turns and say something we like about. We're going to be allowed to talk at some point.

We're all going to take turns and say, what quality or something we like about Bobby, because I think Bobby takes a lot of abuse. And I think we should say positive things about Bobby and who even though I believe he's taking advantage of you guys, he has given you a place to go to where you know where all you broken fucks couldn't find another place to go to. Bobby, turn me on to you to do my social media with you. You were 14 when you came in here. Yeah, true.

He does my social media. He didn't have anywhere to go. Half, half ass, but he does it better than me. He does it on campus. Do you hear other people's voices? I'm just curious. I'm wondering. He's not wearing the headphones that we can.

I did. Anytime anybody's talking, you just run right over him. It's like, why? No, we're talking together. No, we're not. Every time I talk, you act like I didn't talk. And you just don't acknowledge it. You just run right over.

What are we gonna talk about, Bobby? I'm loyal. We gotta say some nice. Yeah, have you ever done that? Oh, my God, is that so important that if somebody else talks, you gotta be like, I cannot deter from the message. done that. It's something that is so important that if somebody else talks, you got to be like, I cannot deter from the message.

No, this is the direction that those are going to go in. So I just wanted to plan to see. It's not that important. We know that people talk. Listen. Okay. Oh, like what you told the person today

on the phone, you were doing customer service. Yeah, I told her to listen. Yeah, you said there, is this, do you think this is nice? First of all, today on the phone. Yeah. You were doing customer service. Yeah. I told her to listen. Yeah. You said to her, do you think this is nice? First of all, me, me, me, me, me. Like he just keeps like hitting zero.

Like, like, thing keeps going like this. Like he's going, I didn't get that. Let's try that. I like it. How about this robot? Yes. He just keeps hitting zero. The robot keeps going.

Did you get to another? Okay. One more time. Okay. Didn't get that question. Okay. You know, finally gets the operator and she says something to me. He goes, can you, can you listen? Yeah, because she's young, but you don't, that's the irony, baby. No, you don't. Can you talk up? You're not at your headphones on you stupid fuck. The reason you can't hear me is

because you don't have your fucking headphones on I'm right across from you. It doesn't matter because you can't read my lips because this thing's in the way and I know you have a hearing problem This is not an alternative room you just talk up. Can you hear me now? I have my headphones? I don't like where headphones say give me I don't know if they were clean now If you don't like your headphones on then stop telling everyone to speak up Think about it. Just think about it I don't know why I can't hurt anybody Okay, everyone else seems to be able to hear each other quite well. Yeah, you're closer to each other. I'm far away. I'm in the main seat

It's just what not doing it. What do I can hear her and I'm over here main seat. Mm. It's just, I'm not doing it. What do you, well I can hear her and I'm over here on minority islands. So, oh, what happened? We have a guest too. How you doing? What's your name? Oh, Macon. Are you a fan of why this I guess?

I can't string four letters together. I'm pretty. Yeah. Yeah. And are you a comic? Oh, no. What do you do? Web development.

Web development. Are you trying to get a job here? What the hell is Web development? What the hell is Web development? Yeah. Do you like to work for nothing? What's that, Gritch? What do you think Web development is?

It's a little about spiders. Web development is? Two of us spiders. Web development. It's creating websites and help boost other websites and develop your own websites, okay? How's he doing? Uh, he's pretty on target. He's doing all right. On target.

Look at that. Look at that. Some language you can take with you Rich. Not not. No on target. What's rich is brand? Brand like if you have to make it come a website right now just from this. I don't know how much you know about them What's his brand? Maybe I'll have like some jewelry listings Yeah,

Baby Yes, rings that's what I'm saying super bowl last comic standing tough crowd Um, oh, that's my woman aren't funny woman aren't funny boss roast calm these are all rings. I won from those You know games You could have you could have a your jewelry Well, rings I won from those games. You could have jewelry kind of appreciation. You click on that and then you have the sneaker head kind of shit. Right? What else? Youthful, old but youthful.

Old but youthful. Rich doesn't usually wear this. He auditioned to play as undercover high school kid. Like hop going undercover. As a soccer coach. That would be like a champion. Probably basketball. What's that? A champion's brand.

You have champion all over you. So yeah yeah, I mean you think that's too much No, I feel like he would connect with minorities I go up in the hood man. I grew up. I wait for you from Bronze New York. Yeah, I'm from playing field which is Totally a colored area totally Totally a colored area totally Wait you can't say that can you I'm from old school Let's all agree the only person who could say that is a man in his sixties wearing a backwards face

Right if we were gonna allow Yeah, you know the parliament funke deluxe a bunch of them are from my hometown I'm from yeah, you know the parliament funkindale looks a bunch of them are from my hometown They you said, huh? Parliament you don't know who they are the parliament you don't know who parliament are are they abandoned? Yeah, back in the day mothership connection. This is my issue. Are you kids? You know parliament? They are can you play get put parliament up and put parliament up and let's get I used to see you recognize this song Do what song you got from parliament hold on Let's do

You got you got to do a commercial. It's on YouTube. You don't know parliament. You're not from the you're young though, but I Didn't meet are they are they singing now? Yeah, we're talking about speak up. He has no idea. A real sick thing going down, getting down. There's a whole lot of rhythm going around. I like your version of it. I like the thing going down and down. There's a whole lot of rhythm going around.

Yeah. We want the funk. Oh, that's okay. It was using a lot of commercials for like, right, chicken and shoes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We want the funk. Gotta have that funk. You know that. You know them. One of the funk right chicken and shoes We want the funk Got to have that you know that you know them. Yeah, I know that song for real. Yeah, I know All right, do one more song find a Do you know this song mother ship connection? 40 years out of your

Well George Clinton has been in a million commercials and stuff. He was delayed More songs his grandparents had sex too. Oh here we go. This is it. This is it. Oh, oh Making my phone Shit Pony and all the mothership So grew via Dig me Does he play this at home. Yeah, I Think I have

If you hear any noise Any noise is just me and the ball boys hit me Got hit the band This is why you were the first white comic on deaf jam You got to hear the good part I'm gonna hit the ball. You're the mother. You should have bought for him. It is. Boos boo. Do it. Yeah.

This is it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love 70s punk to the lot of it is just like, let's just talk to each other for a few seconds. Let's just music some music. It's great. This is so funny. Oh yeah, there's a whole new podcast bringing it to you and your style. Bobby Kelly. These so groovy, I dig me.

Are we gonna do the whole song? All right, let's do the gill. Now, so you know the parliament, I know that one song. You've heard, so that means you've heard other songs. I think we got it. So you know the parliament? I know that one song. You've heard, so that means you've heard other songs. If you, like you would know other songs too. Yeah, definitely. Yeah.

So what I'm saying is, something that was told from my town, you know, what I'm saying is I go a bit of her song. You grew up in your town. A couple of them grew up in playing field. They used to, and George Clinton, I'm pretty sure who was the lead who's been in a million things since then, had a barber shop. I think it

was on playing field. They have, and you were Clinton. They have, and you, and I know Bernie Warwell, I can't say his name, Wu Well, a War Well, which was on playing field. He was in a Glenn, Glenn goings who played with him later on, which from playing field went to playing field high. And I don't, Boots he wasn't from there, but you know, they practiced in a, and they had a lot, you know, that's what P funk was named. People think P funk was playing field, you know, make my funk a P funk. I want to get funked up. I want to part. I want to P funk. So what I'm saying is we have a big connection, me and you know, I think you know another thing you do for his website.

Yeah. This kind of music. Okay. That's what I'm funky rings. That's my website. FunkyRingsYoFunkyRings.com. I'm trying to say something. FunkyRings.com. You weren't offended when I said that word to Sue. Oh, no, you're fine. You know, I was on the camera. Well, I got funky. I was like, is that not allowed? No. You got to be careful. You know, I don't want to offend,

because I was doing a podcast recently somewhere, and they were saying certain words, and I got up and walked out. What words? I can't say those words. But I got up. Please, thank you. Women's. Excuse me. Anyhow, so I like the idea of what we like or positive things about Bobby. We'll talk, we should talk now, kind of like he passed away because, maybe if he does, we might not be able to get together. You know what I mean?

This whole thing is gonna fall apart because nobody's gonna be able to run. What are you talking about? Bobby. If he dies? If he did, then we can't get together. We must do it now. What are you talking about? Bobby. If he dies? Well, if he did, and we can't get together, we must do it now. Don't talk about death.

That's weird. That's gross, right? I mean, because if something does happen, then you're like, You're first time. Yeah. I what? Curse him?

I didn't curse him. He doesn't understand that particular. Yeah, I do. Okay, that is kind of gross. Let's just say, the nice things we like him for Yeah, I do. Okay, that is kind of gross. Let's just say, the nice things we like him for life, for life. Bobby is truly one of my favorite people. Why?

He's engaging, he's funny, he's always willing to like have an exchange with you. That's why you and I get in fights when Bobby's around because he gets you in this zone Where you just want to talk to him where you're both connecting so well together And then and then you go you leave me ungain left out. No, how did you turn what you like about Bobby to what you don't like about me? That's all you like about him, he's engaged in. No, he's very funny, obviously.

Off stage and on stage. Off stage and on stage. Yeah, great. He's very funny on stage. He's actually, I would say, he's one of the most prolific comics that we have. He's always writing new material, always doing new stuff, very, very good, at a high level, quality is his brand.

I know, I know about quality. It's no funky rings. I mean, I think he cares about what he does. No, he does. I think, do you know what he's doing? The only time I've ever had any kind of weird like, oh, is when I've seen sometimes how he's treated his staff. Treat his what? I swear to God, I've been like, cause I didn't ever see that side of him before. Treated his what? Staff.

His staff. Call them staff. Yeah, that's why I thought he was joking a lot of times. And then sometimes I'd see something underneath that was like, well, that's not a joke. All right. I hate these people. All right. So if you think of anything a little later, we'll give you one more shot because.

What was that not good? No, it was good. I liked it. I liked it. I think Bobby would like it. I think his family would like it. You know, I can't wait to hear what you're gonna say for two hours.

I'm just trying to steer this mothership connection, baby. If you hear any noise, it's just me and the boys hit me. Who's next? You got to do a pie chart of everyone talking. Yeah. For this podcast. How would it look to you? What do you mean delicious?

Like if you did a pie chart, like, oh, I spoke this much, she spoke that much, you know. Well, listen, I'm doing what Bobby does. Oh, I didn't know that I was, see it, this is what I thought. I thought you said, let's go up and co-host. That's my problem. That's what I thought I was doing,

but I realized now I'm just being a guest. And not only am I being a guest, I'm being a sort of looked over guest. I guess, I gotta just put it in perspective and then I'm totally fine. Now this podcast is really about you and what your website would be like. And play music that you like, singing along, wearing your headphones you and what your website would be like. Sure.

Oh, and play music that you like singing along, wearing your headphones in a fucked up way. And yeah. No, I don't think. I didn't know that. Now I know. Now I know. No, you're speculating.

Let's go through your movies that are your favorites. Let's do that. We'll get to that. And then between what you tell people what your favorite food is and all the kinds of it, you can be like, let's get back to that Bobby thing at some point. And then between what you're when you tell people what your favorite food is or the kind of stuff you can be like, let's get back to that Bobby thing at some point. Well, you know, sometimes you listen, you know, sometimes when you're driving, you're going into mountains, you want to look into country, sometimes you say, hey, let's take a quick

detour. Let's go up here and see what's going on. It's an apple grove up here. Is there, you know, is there some? You know, the analogy is going to go on for an hour and a half. And there's, hey, maybe there's a corn maze we could take our kid too. I'll be thinking it's gonna come up.

You know, maybe there's corn maze, so let's detour. Then we'll get back on track. That's what happens is the same with, you know, podcast or radio. I thought there was gonna be a lot more things. Usually you're good at listing. No, a corn maze in an apple grove would be nice. I'm the famed.

What's that? That's fall famed. Yeah, when you're on a nice ride in the country. Right. You see what I'm saying? You can't do the country in the spring. It's not fun in the spring. In the fall.

In the spring. In the fall. No, no, no, in the spring, it's nice too, because the flowers and all the prettiness is coming out too. The fall is when the leaves change colors. Do they? Thank you. This has been so informative.

I'm just saying, I didn't know. I was thinking this morning, I was like, which season is it where the leaves change color? It's fall. Fall. Thank you. Yes, my name. See you're a co-host. Yeah. No.

I don't know what I am, but I'm learning. You are a learner. Do you like to steam the pro Bobby? It's the pro Bobby. We can't do two girls in a row. No, no, that'd be gross. No, that's insane. It's insane.

It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. I want these two out. I'll stop talking right now to say the word. Well, you didn't really start. But, true. Who do we go to next? We're gonna let our guests pay.

Well, I thought you were driving through the country. I want back on, I'm back on path to a back. Who's the next growth? Yeah. Who's the next? I don't want it. We're gonna go to, uh, do you think of the Bobby Kelly tree?

We're gonna go to Mount, to Mount Rushmore Head. Doing the big head thing. Okay. I'm sorry. I have problems. I have a list. I have a list.

Wait, what? I have a list. You do? Yeah, but interesting. Yeah. I'm sorry. No, I didn't know. I was trying to be funny,

but it was mean. No, it's okay. Because you got to deal with that a lot. So I'm sorry. No, I didn't know. I was trying to be funny, but it was mean. No, it's okay. Because you got to deal with that a lot. So I'm sorry that I hit a nerve. No, I'm sorry. I just really only deal with it here with you. No, I'm sorry. I'm going to get you a neck brace.

I am sorry. It's nice, right? I'll get on the nice one. That was the last one. That was the off. I'm gonna get you a neck brace with advertising from his new web company. Okay. The boss roast calm neck brace. What do you think about Bobby Kelly?

Man, I didn't think I had to be sincere today. Okay. I mean, he's great. It's truly like watching him do hours all the time at the fat black is like a free class in stand-up comedy, like watching someone who's been that good for that long do something so effortlessly. It's really like, it's crazy to watch. It's really, yeah. I was gonna know. I can't handle it.

You can't handle what? I just don't like hearing glowing things about other people. That's just me. I don't think so. Nice things, no. What? Glowing things, yeah. What do you mean, glowing things?

Glowing, glowing. Oh, glowing. Put your fucking headphones on. There's no reason to talk to your co-host out. Okay, we're auditioning here for more bigger and better things. Oh, boy. Oh, no one's listening. I know.

Well, so you as a new comic when you watch see any better things. No one's listening. Here's what's great about that. And I don't see this enough on the road as a comic, a headliner, who's followed Bobby many times. What I'm saying is, when you go in to watch him and you learn as a new comic, like when Bobby goes on the road or I go in a road or you go on the road, every fucking open mic in town should be at that show watching the headliner.

Whoever that headliner might be, because all you're gonna do is I used to go watch comics all the time. And it's- Well, now they watch you, but they watch you from their bedroom. You know, they're on the- What's YouTube?

Yeah, but no, no, no, that's not comics, not hard working, wanna get a head comics that are hanging out in clubs, you know, and you'll be at a club somewhere and they'll be sitting at the bar talking when they could be inside wide here. I do think that's where they show up, they sit in the green room, go watch the fucking show.

Yes, you're gonna learn. What he just said is you can't pay enough to learn what he's going to learn from watching Bobby. Right. Time after time, on stage doing new material, doing other stuff, doing audibles, doing crowd work, doing whatever, because Bobby's not scripted. You know, he's a Bobby. You're going to see a comic that works in a moment and you're gonna learn. And I just don't get how other comics, new comics, don't do it. I used to go in the room all the time

and watch the headliners. But, you know, I guess it's a different era. Everybody now has the answer. They all have egos or all, you know, hey, we'll hit off of this video or that video. But how many truly, truly want to be a good comic? Well, I mean, it's like, it's, you know, we're nerdy about it. You know, we love comedy. We love taught. I mean, I married a comedian. It's like, we're nerdy about it. Not everybody

is. Not everybody's. No, when I nerdy, we're nerdy about it. Yes, but we're also, we are nerdy about, like, you speak up. We are, we are, Oh, I put my headphones on. We are nerdy about it. That's better. Oh, look at that.

I can hear you. We are nerdy about it, but we also are passionate about it. Okay. That's the same thing. No, no nerdy is to crew used to hang out with before you met me nerdy about. Oh, you're offended by the word nerdy. To me, that just means you're really into something and you want to talk about it all the time and look it up online and read books about it and, you know, find out everything you can about it.

That's what comedy is and was to me. I think passionate is more. I'm more passionate. You're more elevated than I am, I guess. Wow. And certain things. People didn't say, you know what, I bet they couldn't have an argument about passionate versus nerdy comedy. And yet here we are. So what he said was good at. But what you said So what he said was good at. But what you said is not really a quality you like about them.

You said what you like about them is you're getting something. You're getting some. That's kind of fucked up. Yeah. You know, I'm, you know, I'm sorry guys, I'll get out of here. Not only need. We need to do that you to fuck up. I fucked up. You know what, Bobby would want you to do something degrading.

I'll go through the bed for 20 minutes. It was good. As a comic to be, that was great. No, it actually is. There's no other, there's no, what else are you going to say? But I use a good kisser. Like, there's no, what else are you going to say? He's nice to me.

Sometimes he touches my arm during the podcast oh That's nice Okay, yeah Who wants to go next mic sure okay, that will do Gabby he's very generous Yeah, okay, thank you I mean to him it's a gawar about it. Well, could you give an example? I mean just me being here still. I mean, and my dog, he's helped you also. That's on him being generous.

That's how you be low. So, no, his dog was sick and we raised mine. And Bobby got people to raise money for his sick dog. Yeah. Bobby pushed it. And besides the comics, did the public send any money? Yeah, why don't I get a BD fans hope as well? Did they?

Yeah. And Bobby started that campaign to help machine mics dog. And and it helped your dogs alive and well, right? Yeah. Oh, God. You know what'd be great if Bobby, if Bobby saw the dog and the dog bit Bobby, that would be I would love that. That the first Bobby were to pet him and the dog just ripped Bobby's fucking hand off.

Oh, that would be beautiful. You see the iron. Iron. Yeah. Isn't that beautiful? So you're saying he's generous. Yeah. Financially, what about emotionally? Both. I mean, just give me. He's hugged you. Yeah. Oh. what about emotionally? Both. I mean, just give me a minute. He's hungry. Yeah. Oh, there's no possible you two guys can hug.

It's a side hug. It's a side hug. We've had each other shoulder. We've got our best. So he's he's compassionate. He's generous. All right, that's sweet. That's nice. That's good enough. Compassionate he's generous All right, that's sweet. That's nice. That's good enough. That's good enough

Gabby, okay Bobby is like my comedy dad And you know, I've always wanted an abusive father and I feel like I finally got one Yeah, because your father is probably the nicest guy Yeah, it's like oh oh, all dad should be like, you know what? That's what Bobby and I was like, yeah, you need Bobby to be a good comedian. Oh, that's what Trot is. Yeah, yeah. And I'm loving that. I'm writing jokes off of that.

No, I love him. He's amazing. We talk on the phone, we chat all the time. He's like, my comedy dad. We're writing things together and he's the best. Does, and he puts you on stage. He puts me on stage. You have to see and you do what you do.

Right. And he was like It's not good, but we'll give it a shot and it's getting better. It's you know, I'm kidding. It's getting amazing Your crowd work tonight. I saw you Top it again Listen to me right now. I'm one of the best crowd works. Well, I would have been oh she killed it She would say stuff like adding gel. She would say stuff like where you're from and they would answer and she go She would say stuff like adding job. She would say stuff like where you from and they would answer and she go oh Cool, I bet rich ripped on me and he got up and he goes so you're eating fries

I was doing my bit bed crowd work guy I'm your muse for that character and I love that. But, and he's put you on stage. Yeah, he's put me on stage. He's like a mentor. He's my mentor. Have you ever called him, like say you're having a personal problem, or maybe a relationship problem or a family problem, and have you ever talked to him about that?

Bobby and I actually talk on the phone for hours, and I'm not kidding. Really? Yeah, like we'll talk on the phone for an hour. Where's he driving home for my ball? He's like, I have nothing to do right now, and I ran out of playlists, so let's try. Yeah. So you'll get deep into stuff? Yeah.

Cause he does give good advice. Oh, he's an amazing conversationalist. Okay. That's good. Yeah. So much better than does give good advice. Oh, he's an amazing conversational. Okay. That's good. Yeah. So much better than those two so far. Well, no, no, it's not a contest. It's not, but you're in first place. I know. Even though it's not a contest. All right. I wish I knew names. Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach. Zach, sorry. Zach, it's like a full moon tonight. Uh, Zach. Zach's turn. Happy, you haven't been here as long as them, have you? Yeah, I've been there longer.

Longer? Yeah, I can't see you behind those two things a lot. Oh, that is sad. I got it now. When I come in, you've been here the longest? Yeah. Oh, fuck. Yeah.

Whoa, so you guys have a million. I think you were actually on the first episode I worked on. Really? I remember it was great. You were great. Awesome. What do you have to say about our good pal, Bobby Kelly, about Bobby? I think he's a pretty exceptional father because of how understanding he is,. I think he uh he's a pretty exceptional father because of how

understanding he is and I think just in general comedy and out because of how good he is at his craft he's pretty inspiring whether you do comedy or anything someone that good can be inspiring. I'm uncomfortable. Uh who do you think is better? You are Colin. No I'm okay. Uh well who wrote crocodile Andy? Bob you were calling Well who wrote crocodile Andy what's that I didn't hear where you say I know you didn't was it bad Oh, cuz I know my headphones on I get earwrakes when I wear headphones sometimes Do you ever have any I know when I'm gonna bring in my big maybe podcast because it for you You have a little bit of a speech impediment you can a little bit phones you can't hear and you can't speak I mean I feel

like that's what podcast oh okay Kevin Pollock when he attacked me for being on a video thank you well you're over comic you're over coming so much by doing nothing first of all I'm doing very well. Oh, good, now, Hill. We're gonna, he could sit out and figure out, we're so sorry. That's all right, this is going perfect, we don't need you. Uh, I'm so sorry. Okay, so we're in the middle. I did, I did it.

Whoa. What the heck? What the heck? Hold on. What do I want? What do I want you? Yeah. What's that all for?

So we're doing, and everybody's done so far. What we're doing the things we like dressed like that. We're doing. See, we're doing. I started a pot. The things we like about Bobby Kelly. And everybody said nice things, compassionate. So now you're dressing like that because I'm not working tonight. So you should have a custom van. You should have a cargo van So we're it's my turn to say all said the nice things and now you're gonna say mean shit No, no, we're saying nice things about you because you weren't here And I'm sick of the negativity you were saying mean things. Did what we say me things? No, it was very very genuine. Well, you being Funny, but he has you trash me at all. No, no, no, no

I did make somebody stop at one point was getting uncomfortable because it was so nice Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, can I just say can I can we just well? I know can I say why we did this? No, I did make somebody stop at one point. It was getting uncomfortable. Because it was so nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I just say, can I, can we just, well, I would know, can I say why we did this? No, I can't do it. You know, you do it to him. He won't let anyone else stop.

Before he gets started. It was about your impression of him is awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's exactly what I hear. He hears the problem. We should get bumpesticks. So what we were saying. I know.

That was one of his things. I just wanted to put it away. We should get bumpestares. So what were you saying? That was one of his things. I just wanted to put a point. We should get bumper not in the listen. Now you can say no. But I go they don't have bumpers anymore. I was going to put them on you stupid. What I want to say is there's so much negativity around everything. There's so much negativity around me. So I said let's start off on a positive note. Is that yes. So everybody went around the room saying nice things about you. Now it's my turn.

Okay, go ahead. And what we like about Bible, I can say what we don't like, we're saying positive thing. Can you ever hear of a positive podcast? I was never wanted to hear OP show more than right now. We've speed it up. Does he still have one? Nobody.

You knew how to direct a show. He did? No, I did. I mean, listen to me. I even engage with the guests. The problem is they're not listening to you. Oh, the fans. Listen, there you are.

No, what do you got? I bet you're gonna write in. All right, tell me what you think of me. I think Bobby, why in the beginning, Bobby and I didn't hit it off great. Is that true? Oh, yeah, there was that fight. No, no, no, you're doing a history of us. No, no I'm just gonna say what it led into what's your emotional impact? I think

What I think I had to talk with Bobby without for dinner the other night. Yes, and Bobby We spoke hard to hard and he helped me a lot with what I'm going through in life Yes, he helped me a lot with what and I going through in life. He helped me a lot with what, and I wish I could. Is this why I've been pegging him? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Picture being wood like a wooden dildo and just sticking oak and some guys ass I don't know what it is because it's his from when he was a kid You had wooden toys Is it in a metal yet? You had a whittled dildo

Go ahead, what are you saying? What you're making, dad? Well, you'll see, son. You'll see. Is that what's on the ground? I just dropped. Oh, it is. I think then you get pegged. Yeah, then you bend over to get the nickel. There you go. Body, try to peg me the other night. I was going all this hurts just to cover up. Yeah.

So she doesn't think I'd take it in the ass. Psych. Wow. It did her. I go, wait, what are you talking about? What are you trying to put that deal on my butt? Stop! You tried to put a deal on as much as you tried.

Stop! You did? We made a joke. It was funny funny you move on What are you doing? Look at me don't look at her look at me. Did she try to put something you bum the other night? No, we take buddy look at me who brought it up Body listen nothing's gonna save this marriage It's over My idea like you know what would really get me off is

Why do you want something in your bum? I didn't want anything in my bum. I just become British Did I say? Since I've been watching you. When did you enjoy this at your bum? I know. When did you like a little plug in your bum? Who's behind me? I'm sorry.

Thank you. Hey, what do you like about me? You said you want to know what? I mean, why I'm late. You want me to tell that later? Yeah, no, I know. OK, we don't know why. I do know why. You don't know why. You I mean why I'm late you want to tell that later. Yeah, no, I know okay We don't know why I do know why you don't know why you did I do know why no you tell me why You what can I finish my thing? Yep, I guess so

Me me me me me shot me. We all did it. It's my turn. I put together Listen don't really live your childhood. I was just kidding to get me. Listen, don't really live your childhood. I was just kidding. No, you're not finding me. You're fighting to say something nice about him. I know. Okay, he wants to go on to another story.

You don't want to be nice to him. You want to say something nice about him. Like, listen to yourselves. Are you talking? What are you saying? She's telling us to shut the fuck up. I'm saying you're getting angry because he does. Because he's an asshole.

I'm trying to say something. Why am I an asshole? Because you're cutting me off when I'm saying nice. I'm going you're getting angry. Because he doesn't ask all. I'm trying to say something. Why am I an asshole? Because you're cutting me off when I'm saying nice. Just say it. Where was I at? You were at me and you didn't like each other at the beginning. No, but then I got pissed. And then you went in and I said it again.

Oh yeah, I said it again. He said you straight on something. And Bobby, Bobby, and there's certain people. There's a couple, but Bobby's one of the main ones that you could, I could talk, Patrice was like this too, but not like it. That's what it's going up. but Bobby's one of the main ones that you could I could talk Patrice was like this too But not like that's going up. He's going up into the mountains It's funny because Bonnie's laughing at her own toe Bobby will help ground me when I need to be grounded you know and tell

me the real deal saying you're an asshole. No say look that's fucking asshole that's not you know it's not program or recovery or sobriety and also too. I mean, I could look obviously we know he's funny We everybody goes, oh, he's great. He's funny. Yeah, he's funny But that's that's you know No, listen, I don't that's not This I that's not what I am I'm friends with him because you know, I just wanted the reason I try to hang with funny people You know, that makes you funnier doing this surrounding You know I'm funny so

I'm one of the top comics in the country. Are you telling your wife that? Trying to get first in the business I mean why how many years you married? 14 and this is during your eulogy. Is that what this is? Are you guys doing a eulogy? You don't fucking die in because I'm fat? No, this is fat.

You're the dog. I never said that we want to get a hair red. You're doing a fucking because I'm the one you're bobbing. This is a goddamn. What is this? I said because you're not hearing there's so much negative stuff in podcasts Let's be positive. That's all I did say in case you know, but then I retorted that case I Retorted I put it out of you making canollies and torts

and canollies and torts? What? I'm so dumb. We really are. I try to tell people, we should just have a podcast called dumb news. I was thinking about a rich once and I was saying how he says draw and then I said to you, how do you spell draw? And he goes, D-R-A-W.

Like, the thing that, yeah. Oh, you wanted, what did you want? I said spell draw, like, the thing that you open up in R.A.W. How the fuck do you spell drawer Is there another way than DRA? No, no see this is a thing. I don't know DRA W. E. R. Hey, oh hey, RW are drawer

Siri, how do you spell drawer? Siri doesn't want to talk to me. AR AW so Bobby let me finish up. Obviously, we know he's funny. We're both huge. He's a hard owner. Stop try. This will bother me about you.

Someone calls you dumb and you don't go, yeah. You try to say I'm not brilliant. This is what makes you're actually probably smart then, because it's the cunning, the, the done in Kruger effect, where people who are smart often think they're stupid, or less smart than they think that they are, and people who are dumb always think

that they're smarter than they are. I know, listen, dude, I know a lot of things, Bonnie doesn't know. I know that. You things Bonnie doesn't know. I know that. You have to be happy. I know that. You have to be happy. I was gonna take that turn.

Yeah. What? Oh, no, no, no, no, she's mad. Oh, I could tell you make that face that. I'm not mad. I just didn't feel like laughing about it for three full minutes. I was gonna take that turn. Yeah.

What? Oh, I'm not mad. I just's mad. Oh, I can tell you make that face that. I'm not mad. I just didn't feel like laughing about it for three full minutes. So I laughed a bit. And then when I was done, I kind of held a smile. Waited politely to the others were finished. Um, so I think that me and you,

the other night had this conversation for me and you in the program and it's pretty simple for us when things go weird. You just gotta bring it back to basics. That's it. So to talk me and you and we talk, it's basically that. I'm going through shit in my marriage right now. Oh, that is.

That is, huh? No, my wife wouldn't touch my asshole ever So she doesn't hug you What That's that you're an asshole Yeah, remember that talk we had earlier about only throwing out the gems Quality is your brand now. Yeah.

So, and let me wrap it up. You threw out all the gems before you met this asshole. I will say this about Rich. He is the funniest person I've ever dated. Yeah. Oh, yeah, compared to a guitar rack. You did it in Mark's comment. I knew you were going to fight it way to not like it.

I like Mark. No, no, I mean that compliment. But no, it's a weird. I don't know if this is maybe you guys can help me. And I think having this having. Well, she know you're talking about it. No. Oh, if she found out it should be mad. I don't know. I don't know. Oh, okay. It's just coming out right now. What do you have in there's no I don't know if you heard the beginning of my part. There's no rules on this podcast. Oh, there's no topics We just go take the hat off you're making everybody hot Um, no hats I'll take mine off the bridge takes us off. He can't

Ah, there you go. Papa trees his head on see if it works It's like it's like awful puff What I'm gonna lose a You belong in shitville I Sorry, I was a nerd joke. You guys don't know the story. Oh, don't use, can you use the word passionate? I'm dirty.

I'm just saying that I don't know what it is with the, I think it has to be the kid thing. And I don't know what it is, but we have, and now we have this fucking dog. Two of, oh yeah, one, relax. My friend got two. Why would you scream it out though? Two, you don't know how many dogs you have.

No, I love that he tells people stuff. He yelled at me, he's like, you have two of them, not you. It's the other friend. You don't do the math in your head. Is that in the fucking IQ test? My last one was only 125. Still way above average. On Facebook, right?

No, this was a real one. I took a real one. I paid 20 bucks. You did not get a 125 on a fucking IQ test. You're saying good. I will bet you. Right now, I'll sell to you. I don't trust you.

I know, if I bet you, we're going to a place. He took it three times. He got it. No, I didn't take it three I know, if I bet you, we're going to a place. He took it three times. He got it. No, I didn't take it three times. It cost 20 bucks. I have the second one I can do for $10. Well, didn't you get a higher score than that? Yeah, but I didn't.

I don't think that was his real is this one. Oh, 125 seems to be unlikely. 125 is still fucking above average. So what were you saying? I'm saying that it's hard because we don't, you know, you go on the road and then you come back and she's got so much shit to do. There's just so much shit she's doing while I'm gone. On top of other shit and I'm doing all my shit,

I got a million things I'm fucking doing. And then I come home, I'm up at, you know, I have two shows and then I jump on the plane, five of the morning, get home, I'm up at, you know, I have two shows and then I jump on the plane five of the morning, get home, I'm fucking exhausted and it's like you got to go right into it. He just, no, there's nothing, there's no way out of it. You just go right into being dad, look, dad, dad, daddy, dad, dad. Okay. And she doesn't give a fuck either. It's like, I've been doing this all fucking day. Go be daddy, fucking cocks. And I'm like, all right, you're right.

I don't know. You're right. There's no way around it. And then when we, when we, when we late at night, when we go to bed, we're looking at truly at houses for a couple of minutes. And then it, we're fucking done. And she tells me, go get my snorkegaard

and keep your mouth shut. You know, and I'm using a snorkegaard that loosens my bottom row of teeth. And she doesn't care. She doesn't work, your snorkegaard. Yeah, it does, but I'm using a snorkeye that loosens my bottom row of teeth. As you know, it's a word, you're snorkeye. Yeah, it does, but I'm gonna lose a row of teeth. What do you hear me? I'm, yeah, but whales have more than one row. It's kind of like that.

Is that the metal one you clamp in? Whales, sharks have more than one row. I was just joking. Whales don't have teeth. They don't. Dummy. Dude, is that the one you, is that the one you,

those little curly things? I think we have teeth. that's a one you that's a one you those little curly things? I think we have teeth that's a one you rose. You got to one you We didn't with the metal you you freaking me out with the diamonds on those little hands and they're doing this you do the one with the metal No, that one when you have I Have a thousand. Yeah, I love that I'm opening up about my fucking marriage and this is what you talk It's somehow became about you. No, I'm, I'm gonna ask you to talk to your about this. I need to talk to you about this. No, no, no, no, no, no, you're not a therapist.

I'm asking you about this. You're asking you about everything becomes about you. It's not about me, it's about you. He went, I, when you say I, it's about you. I want to know. I meant to say I, I opened up about my fucking life, my marriage. You didn't get into it yet.

I was right there and you went, what am I, do you use the metal mouth piece? And I go, no, I have no idea what's going on. Yes, see, I, I, I, I get a shirt that says me and I. I got one. You should. I don't know how you fucking do it, Bond. Put it on.

Put it on. Me, because it says me. Look at it. All right, so what were on me. Why me? Because it says me. All right. So what were you saying about your mouthguard? I'm done. You snore too. Okay. Richard, this was fascinating to me. Yeah. This exchange here, because this is what I go through on a daily basis. Yeah. And I'm not coming up here to be analyzed. I want to listen to a story. No, now you do. Now you're gonna show your fucking mouth and listen to somebody else. I had a lot of things to ask him about his story, but I couldn't ask him because you were like,

I didn't say anything till the end when he took a pause. This thing can I just tell you something? You don't have your headphones on. So you don't always know when you're talking, you sound like, oh, maybe no one else is talking. Yes. But you're just running Ramshot over people. That's true.

And I don't know what Ramshot is. I don't know if that's the word. I don't think it is. I said it two or three times tonight. Not Ramshot is not the word. I think it's rough shot. Rough shot. I think rough shot maybe.

I'm a shot. No, not come shot. You're fucking no let me. What a fucking asshole. I, okay. Can we get back on track? Can we get back on track? I'm saying you should, where are your headphones?

Because she's absolutely right. You're timing is off, because you're hearing us. You're not hearing us. I'm right next to you. No, you're making me sick. Yeah, okay. Thank you. So, I'm getting to know a little bit about my life.

What I'm saying is, I tell them today, I'm on the phone with them today, and this will go into why I'm late, but Gary Gumbann's special for HBO, they had the screening tonight. And he goes, and I said, premier, but it's more than just a special. It's a, it's a dark and a special, okay?

So I'm invited and he goes, well, what the fuck? We're friends with the me and Bonnie, a very good friend, we didn't get invited. Why ain't I there? And I go, how did you make it about you? Sometimes when I get up, I should just keep it in my head. But I go.

He doesn't have boundaries. So that is one thing I feel like. But I'm in a little bit of leeway for that. But it's literally, I'm in it. Bonnie, I didn't know that. I know the feeling. I'm in it. And I go, I'm going and I was invited because I'm in it, Bonnie. I didn't know that. I know the feeling. I'm in it and I go, I'm going and I was invited

because I'm in it and I'm, I don't Gary for 30 fucking years. When he started and I'm in it and he's somehow and why am I not getting that? No, no, not getting that. Why weren't we invited? We're good friends or his. But I think what you could just wait.

I think what you're hearing was him saying Somehow you shouldn't have been invited that's no no, no, no, I'm saying Bobby I didn't know you were in it. I just thought, I'm just thinking, we're good friends, you know why? I shouldn't have kept it in my head. But here's the problem. And then I text you later saying congratulations. Yeah, but that thing is garbage to me at that point. Why, I say, you can't always fuck up and say something. And I really hope you do well things.

I just say that. Yeah, because honestly, it sounds a lot of the time when you do this. It's a common common occurrence. Then you do a list of things later. Like you deserve it. I'm a great guy. You're a great man.

But it sounds very disingenuous. Because we already know the true thought. I said, the true thought is, me, me, me, me. No, no, no, no, no. And then when they get mad at you, you go, oh, whoa, whoa, stop. You were with me on this. You were with me on this. So stop. No, no, no, no talked about it? You already you already We already talked about it. I can't

I let you vent oh You're with those hands down you were Pocking everybody forget it. I'm not with the eight use the pockets Yeah, keep your hands in those you first of all don't turn this into whether you and I had a private Conversation about the Gary Gullman thing the truth of the matter is is that his I didn't know you were in it, but you didn't you didn't let me tell you you meet wait wait Stop talking for your finger down. Okay I you I was saying You wait, wait, stop talking. Put your finger down. Okay. I, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you it explaining to you and you always jump to either I or me This is why your fucking text was disingenuous

Congratulations on being invited to the mayor you deserve it. Well, I don't I'm I don't deserve it's not my You told me whatever you deserve it. I don't I'm not in it. I'm not I'm happy. I'm happy you're going to the premiere. And you deserve front row and free popcorn. I mean, it's just garbage. Yeah, it's a garbage thing. We're in town. And we actually already cleared it up.

I said, don't make it about you. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. And it was done with me. Yeah, that's it. Confession. You were nice texts. All right, the text is garbage.

But you know what would be more helpful is if you didn't do it anymore. You know, but the truth of it is, you go through this cycle a thousand times a day. I'm not perfect. Listen, if my kid, my kid was hitting people in school. And if he kept hitting people and came home when I'm not perfect, I would hit him. Okay, he had to stop hitting people in school. And if he kept hitting people and came home when I'm not perfect, I would hit him.

Okay, he had to stop hitting people. Well, what's going on right here? He stopped and he stopped and now he has no problems. Like he was just didn't have to verbalize so he would push a blah, blah, blah. Now he knows how to use your words. Hey, stop doing that or don't bug me or he got out of the skill. He's figured out his issue and he's grown.

He's figured out his issue. He's grown. He's figured out his issue. He found a way of what was causing it and he grew from it and now he doesn't have that problem. So what's going on at home, you haven't finished? Well, first of all, let me just talk about the thing. I went to the premiere tonight and I was very excited about it and what happened is as I sat, they sat me in Gary's role in the middle

and there was a Q&A at the end of it. And I was, I didn't know. Oh, he couldn't get out. I couldn't leave. Right. I couldn't, I was in it and I, I told Gary too, I go, look, I'm just gonna be able to watch the thing and I'm gonna have to go. He's like, oh yeah, I love you.

No worries. And I was sitting there and I looked at my thing when it was done and it was longer than a special. I didn't think of that. I didn't know. I didn't, excuse me, I'm fucking all gassy. I didn't know what it was. I didn't know it was like, it was longer than a special. I didn't think of that. I didn't know, excuse me, I'm fucking all gassy. I didn't know what it was. I didn't know it was like, it was really good too.

They did perfect doc comedy. They did most comedy and a little bit of doc and it was very funny, but I didn't understand. And that's what's going on HBO. That's what's going on. Okay, I didn't know. So it was great, it was fucking phenomenal. And then that's why I got stuck.

I couldn't, if I got up, I was in the middle of the theater in Gary's row. And they were like, you know, would say stuff about me. And I had to just sit there and, you know, and I didn't, you know, whatever. So that's why I'm late. And as soon as I was over, I left.

But anyways, what's happening at home is that we're not fucking, we don't do, you're not connecting. we're not fucking we don't You're not connected. We're not doing anything with like date night or not It's like we go to bed. I wake up We get Tony with each other. We'll get into these little micro arguments Which are worse than I would rather have a regular fucking argument I'd rather have a screaming match to get the shit out or whatever the fuck it is and and and it's like We have no time.

It's like, when I'm home, it's until nine o'clock, nine, 30, he goes to bed and then we're fucking wiped. Don't you watch a little TV together? I mean, sometimes we're fucking wiped. Yes, but that's life. That's you have kids, that's life on life's terms. You guys still bang, you guys still watch this.

No, not as much as we used to. We but we have, we enjoy watching our show together. You know, if we like to hold hands, yeah. Well, let's not get crazy. Well, you don't hold hands. Hold hands. What do you mean watching TV? Yeah, like, like, curl up and cuddle, yeah. I do, I am quite affectionate with Rich,

but then it always turns it to him grabbing at me. I can't believe what he means. What do you mean? You know, he's scroppy. So he's scroppy. He turns into like, he just stuff. Like if I'm changing in the bedroom and I sort of like change so fast

because if he comes in while I'm doing it, it's like, then it's that, you know, I'm a whore. He's a man. No, no, she just turns me on. I see her. She has such a, her firm, her bosoms are so, it's me, I, she just turns me on. I see her. She has such a her firm her bosoms are so it's me I so Because he'll be like he'll be like oh

Let me touch the If I if I see her before she puts her girdle on though. If I see her before she puts her girdle on. You have a girdle. That's where she puts her bosom. What's a bosom? I think I have a bosom in my belly button. Is that the same thing as her knee?

Listen. I see her. Listen, will the only ones listen? We have headphones on both ears. It turns me on. I see that listen, will the only ones listen? Yeah, we have had them both years. It turns me on. I see I've seen it be interviewed for a documentary by the way where he goes listen. It's like that's all we're doing here. I didn't come up here to take the camera.

I came up. I was saying nice things about Bobby and all of a sudden it turns negative. I know. Listen, you can take it as negative or you could go hey maybe if everybody's saying something about everybody's you're She's you and him because when you two get together you love teaming up on oh here we go again Oh this fucking game I don't Bonnie barely likes me No, she's like listen I try not to talk to him too much though because I know if I lock in he's gonna be like You're just carrying in him all night. You look at me. Yeah, I would never say that

I'm getting up on me Oh, no, you two power actors. Well, that's you I got rings so people pay attention because they don't listen when I talk but I I got my ring so that I can get attention when I talk look at my little hands Shide of the night Sound like two witches I'm gonna say something nice about you. Mike, can you stop me moving everything with your stomach? Whatever.

And he's not as funny as your stomach, by the way. Can you just let the joke live? Okay, you're a little chubby. I mean, working out. I have buttons. Okay, I, uh... It always gets so sad. It does.

Oh, it just does. It's so sad. It's so sad. It's so sad. It's so sad. It's so sad. It's chubby. I mean, working out. I have buttons. Okay. I, uh... It always gets so sad.

It does. No, I can't make fun of him because he looks like he's just gonna... It just goes right into the... He's just gonna sick out. He like gets a... Hey! What the fuck is that? It's a very easy pop, dude.

What's up, kids? Sit down. Come over here. Sit down. What are you gonna say? Sit at the mic you fucking lot? Listen I'm gonna say something nice about you. We were saying nice. We're saying nice things about us wants to be positive I was saying nice that we went around the room with some nice things about Bobby because he wasn't here

And I go let's do a nice podcast because there's always negative around here. Yeah, and We were trashin is always negative around here. Yeah. And we would trash him. All right. Listen, I'm going to say a nice thing about your husband. Is that all right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to say, Vos, you listen, I mean this. What? You are a very nice guy.

Thank you. That's it. Wow. I am. Thank you. Are you sick? You look thin. What the fuck is wrong with you? You're looking for me.

I'm trying to be positive. I'm saying he looks thin. No, you're said rich. You look good. Rich knows I'm a hypokondriac. That's a fuck up rich. He says he's something. Oh, you know, I'm called rich.

I have called rich. And like, Rich, can I talk to you? And then, it'll go. And he'll go. Yeah. And then I'll be like, dude, I'm going to you? And then, I'll talk. And he'll go, yeah, and then I'll be like, dude, I'm going to the doctor. He just guy goes to the doctor like, I go. And now the first thing he says is, are you sick?

No, I'm not sick. I mean, you have like the cold or something, you know, or you're on a diet. He's like, I said, oh, if you're positive. I'm going, you look good. You look good. Try it. Yeah, I'm gonna diet.

And I'm not gonna go. I love that age jokes are still good. There's no way. They're not positive. Hey, you got the, you got the hymnsmns, you get the 1980s hymns. No, you look, you look. You can live with it now. Yeah, but he's also sitting in between two fucking elephant seals.

No, I wouldn't call it that. That's negative about yourself. And don't tell anyone. You know what the term bug chaser means? Yeah. Yeah. What is it? What's a bug chaser?

Bug chasers are gay guys that try to get AIDS on purpose. Why? What? I don't know. So they don't, because they have anxiety in their lives about getting AIDS. So what they do is they go and purposely get AIDS so they can stop having anxiety about it and just treat it. That makes no one's looks.

That makes no one's looks and what he does makes sense. Makes sense now. Well, I feel like you're, if you think about it, sometimes I think, oh, I'm a bunch of chaser in certain areas of my life. What do you mean? I'll self-destruct at certain points. So what do you self-destruct on? Oh, I get married to men that are probably like a fucking anchor

on my ankle. What else? That's that hurt me too. Because I feel good. Good. Cut the ankle off. But we get the anchor off and just walk away. Why is she gonna call herself? Let me ask you something though, honestly.

Did you make jokes about me tonight? Not why you married me or anything? I didn't say anything negative towards you. You really are fucking delusional. You are my, you're my soul mate. You're my soul mate. Because you didn't say something. He laughed hard and then you go, uh, then delusional. You are my you're my soul mate. You're my soul mate. Because he didn't say something. He laughed hard and then you go, uh, then you go, uh, are you mad at me now? I said, no, I'm just not laughing. That was just one. But you said about

10. You said about 10. This is tits. She is one tits, the other's a tattoo. And now that's good. It was really a tits joke. It was really a tits joke. It was really a tits joke. What I'm saying is the anger joke was fucking hilarious. It was called to a fucking anchor. That's all you're saying nice about me is I'm a good guy. No, I'm saying you're a good was fucking hilarious. I was called to a fucking anchor.

That's what you're saying nice about me is I'm not, I'm saying you're a good guy, you're a great guy. You know what, you're a good guy and you like to be liked. That's the thing I think he wants to be like. That's the worst fucking. What? You're species, he's asking. He's asking something nice about you.

No. I think you're a giving honest, real person. And you're a good friend. You're not selfish. We're a good communicator. And you get a big heart. But here's a thing. Rich was waiting.

Rich is a good guy. Oh, he's a good guy. And he likes to be nice. I fucking, I gave a homeless guy a fucking sandwich tonight. I gave a homeless guy a sandwich tonight. Yeah, I bet you went back where you still gonna eat that because if you're not gonna eat that, take it back. Yeah, and give it a bobby.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. You got exactly very funny.

Yeah, I mean, like when you had your kids, did you have, there was a little downtime at all where you were like, you know what I mean, you have the same age kids. Down time from what? I mean, you know, I mean, like me and Don, it seems like when I go home, she's exhausted every fucking day. And I gotta, you know, the other night I got it to bed and I kind of scooch back into her like she was you know She sleeps like this on her side and I scooch back then I go you want some of this and

She didn't make a sound She was sleeping like no she was up. Oh, I'm over here. Sorry. She's up diabetes Maybe you weren't even maybe you weren't touching her. You got to focus. You want some of this? I said, I was being cute. You fuck, don't alpha male me out of that.

I was being cute. I think that's funny, nice. Yeah, I, I, I, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, I said to you What you pegged this asshole you fucking queen get in there. I said to Bonnie one night you want me to eat your post You know what I mean? I'm trying to be like fucking street. Yo, you want me to eat your post and I was in the alpha you were was this Yo, yo, you want some pussy? Yo, let me get on that plus. Let me lick that snail. Yeah, she goes, I'm doing my crossword puzzle.

I told her she didn't have to stop. I was going to crawl under the covers. Yeah, like as she's doing her puzzle, maybe the guy like crawls in the house and eats her pussy. We talked with someone else. Yeah, we were crawling the house at your house. What are you? What are you a bug chaser?

What are you saying? He has eight. I'm sweating. Cause you wear the fucking or hoodie from 1978. Brother, these are in style. Don't call for the not in style. I've never seen somebody wear a

champion's back to. I hate to bring him news to you.'t be a came back a big time back It's back. Yeah, I'm sorry. You know what else is back feel it too Feel it can't be back. It's back feel is the work back. I hate you guys in Brooklyn you guys are asshole You know what make it out what Nike? No, it is out. Nike's done Nike's done. I'll never go out. It's just fun. Hold it. You know, it's done.

Where an I.P. You know, it's done. Gold chains. They're done. Gold chains. I love it. Does he do I get one on the list? Listen.

So you just better than going to the stand. What was the stand? What are you gonna to stand? I was just there was nice. Oh, what? I had a salad What is this? What is a fucking? Well, what is it good at Libin? It's hot. It's hot. It's hot. It's hot. It's hot. You know it's hot. You got a couple meat heads on here That's why me and Micah sucking up some of the room. Do your fucking glasses are fogged? Yeah, I know on just one side. No, that's I think it's a problem with your glasses Some moisture got inside the Gornal that one I don't need them right now are those good glasses?

These are very expensive. These are new. Yeah, they're very good to best of the best That's why I don't like your compliment. I was saying the compliment you were, you were, you were, everything you get is the best. I'm telling you, you were, you, I was a being mean. I wasn't being mean. I was being, I was complimenting you. Listen to me. Your shed is the best. Your cigars are the best. Every time you get is the best. Listen, you, what you're doing is transparent no edition is transparent What are you doing into my Home all through those

Listen I'm listening. No, you're not. Yeah, you took the headphones. I could hear you. Go ahead. I, what you're doing right now. No, I was being complimentary. No, you're not being complimentary.

I think what you do is the best. I think I'll be honest with you. You buy the best knives. Do you want me to be, I want me to be real with you right now? No, because you're going to be mean. I won't. I think you're one of the,

you're one of the you want of the most Genuine guys I know because when it comes down to it, you will apologize For your guard. We're all fucking broken toys, but you Especially broken Yeah, you're really I mean Yeah, you're really I mean I'm kick saw broken what what What like a kick saw puzzle a lot of pieces broke a puzzle broken you mean no It's a lot of pieces are as a tool to me because I'm a man

Thank you Chris I pay him to do that. Why do you leave a broken dish by my computer? I did not do that. But someone left it there. Do you want me to glue it or something? It was a dollar dish. Do you see my face? Let's use context clues.

So back to Genuine. We're on radio. So she put her mouth open in her head back like a... And you're delusional. This isn't radio. This is a podcast. I don't even know if we should call it that. So I'm genuine. I'm genuine. Yeah. I'm a real. I think you're a, I think you're a, you, there's really no Hollywood in you. And never will be. And I won't be in Hollywood either. Hence the anchor.

Well, you know, if you look about it, most of our... I was trying to swim back, though. All of our friends, like if you look at Norton or Colin or Keith, Patrice, me, you, we're all fucking, we're real. I'm not saying any of you other guys, because you're just like... Can I say something like that? Can I say something like that? Yeah, I think that's been that could be perceived the way we are with with people and the way it could be a little

detrimental to our careers. Oh, that has been yeah, Bonnie. Do you agree with that? Sorry? What even what the fuck? Sorry, I was gonna respond to this email. What email? What the fuck, boy? Sorry, I have to do a shoot tomorrow and she doesn't know. No, look, she's dressing like a director. Oh no. I wish it's not to shoot, I wish it.

I agree, you guys are not Hollywood. Let me just take this. And I knew she'd have those thumb things cut out because that's what Derek, it's cold on the set. No, some of it. No, some of it is my thumbs to focus. some of it is dead was detrimental to our career some of the radio stuff We did some of the stigma around what we did. I think I know but I think we were we have a when we walk into a room Or when people we have a thing that goes in before us like these guys gonna fucking make me feel like shit

Yeah, but also too do you have any comics come up to you? And this is an ego, is this true? Come up to you, go, when I was young, I watched Tough Crowd or whatever, and you're the reason, you guys are the reasons I started comedy. That's great, you know, a lot of it. But I'm just, so we were, we were instant,

and there were things I watched with people that made me wanna do comedy. You know, and I would tell them, I go, man, when I saw you do this at a club when I was starting, I loved it. I wanted to do it so bad because I thought you were whatever. So, you know, yeah, there's positive and negative towards our aura or stigma or whatever around us because we were aggressive, funny motherfuckers. That's all.

And people, like, Bonnie even said, everybody is in like you guys, you know, sometimes you gotta pull back. But, you know, but if you pull back for some reason, I agree with her. There are some, I had to learn that the hard way because I almost lost friends in this business. Almost. Because I would come at them like we come at each other. I had to learn that the hardware because I almost lost friends in this business. Almost.

Because I would come at them like we come at each other. Yeah. And they, it was just, they were like, look dude, I don't know what the fuck is going on. But you're joking in the comments. Yeah, but I had to, I had to be able to figure out this is not that with them. My religion with this person is totally fucking different. My religion with Pete Corielli is different than that. Me and Gary

Galman are different than me and you. Yeah, of course. You know what I mean? So, but I'm saying it's because of you and Gary, you got to look up. Yeah. And when you're with Pete, you got to try to stay up, stick with him when, you know, drinking. So I get what, you know, you just did her joke that was awesome. I know. And then you added to it and you try to get it out before her. Why?

I know you were good. That's the thing. It's not. Sometimes you don't get to say the thing you want to say or sometimes you move on to something else. I know. If I could say what I'm saying. I know you're right.

You're right and you're looking beautiful tonight. That's what you, that's, it's Barbie! We see through it. You're right and you're looking beautiful tonight. That's what you that's it's We see through it. No, you're not genuine sometimes when I look at her. I go wow. I hit Lotto. Oh God, you're so and then he goes like this So you know it's real Do you guys worry about your relationship, but although like I'm worried it goes up and down. I'm serious. I'm serious. Rich and I will never get divorced. That's it. We're in it for the long haul.

You're done. What do you mean? This is it for you. So you'll career listen. Let me just give you a scenario. Yes. Your career takes off this next year. Yeah. You become one of the leading directors in the business. Yeah.

You're directing the new Marvel movie. Yeah, I know. All right, you're fucking massive. I know. And you have a chair next to the monitor, next to Robert Downey, Jr. Yeah. And he's going, now let me ask you a question.

He's Bobby. Let me ask you a question. Now, so he forever, no matter what, he's in it. No matter what. Even that scenario. Even in that scenario. You're gonna have a chair with this guy in it, going what you should do is get bumpers snickers.

Robert, this is what you're talking about. I've worked on movies sitting in the fucking, in the, in the, in the, in the movie I said though. Yeah, Marvel. I know how to punch a movie. I've worked on movies where I sat in video village Yeah, listen to me. You know, I'll be hold me. It's gonna be like why didn't you tell me you got that Marvel movie? First of all I sat next a whole summer the Scott Ruden, okay?

Just got rooted right and what did you do? She called me and you said I'm sitting next to this guy named Scott rooted. Can you tell me who he was? After you're in South of his wife, his children, the Tomical himself is why he doesn't have a wife. But do you know the movie swimming with sharks with Dennis? It was based on Scott rooted. Oh, the it was he the agent or the agent. He's one of the biggest. He's one of the biggest.

He's supposedly quite aggressive. Was he with you? Oh, there he is right there. Yeah. So the biggest producers in Hollywood. I think I think you probably have found it refreshing that Rich Voss was. He laughed at some of it. He laughed at stuff that, you know, I was saying other comics.

And the next day I go, wait, he said I laughed at stuff that you know, I was saying other comics and the next day I go no way he said I laughed it I Forget what he said, but he's I go I forget what I Readings of redacted And then I said and then he said I said, and then he said, Chris Dory. But that's the time when he just,

he walked in, he was like, listen, everything looking, Bonnie is gonna blow up this year. Bonnie's gonna blow up. She had three pages right up in the New York Times. She's three A3 page right up in the New York Times. Okay. She's fucking, oh, he, so many comics, so many,

email comics, do her person. Yeah, she is a fucking, yeah, she is a fucking, all right, now stop. What's we gonna have for a boss this year? I'm gonna get back in the improv. I love it. You're a comics comic dude. You're one of the fucking grades, and you're out there.

I'm gonna get back in the improv. I'm gonna get back in the improv. So it's big goals. I love doing comedy. I know you do. I love it. You're a comics comic, dude. You're one of the fucking grades and you're out there and you're out. You're at Seerums, Beerums, A-Rums.

You're doing fucking all kinds of crazy shit. You do. Seerums, Beerums. That should be the name of your next album. Seerums, Beerums, and A-Rums. No. Seerums, Beerums, and A-rooms. No, C-rooms, B-rooms, and A-room. I mean A-room. My 6-6 CD is done. It's being mailed to me this week. So I love creating. I love doing

comedy. I love comedy. Everything going on the road now? No, no, no, should you love doing comedy? It doesn't matter where. I like beat. I like the stage more than the road. Like being away from my kids all the time and going to airports, fucking sucks. But when I'm on stage creating, and coming up with new content, I love it. Now when you come home from being on the road all weekend, all the shit you gotta do,

I know we only work an hour and a half but the anxiety leading up to it, and that weekend and all the shit you have to go through, it's a lot for a fucking human who, we have fucking depression, we have all the mental you have to go through, it's a lot for a fucking human who, we have fucking depression, we have all the mental issues anyways, right? You come home and your kids like, dad, let's go.

Your daughter's like, let's go. Your wife's like, does that fuck with you at all? Yeah, it does. Yeah, it's called reentry, it's hard. It's hard because like sometimes they don't know that I need to like reset and I need to kind of, and they're just like,

dad, come on, let's go play basketball. And I'm just like, does your wife allow that? Or does she like, Dad, come on, let's go play basketball. And I'm just like, but does your wife allow that? Or does she like, look, deal with it, fuck you. It's kind of half and half. Yeah, like if she doesn't want to get hit, she'll do what you tell her to do. If I can hit them, you can hit them.

What, yeah, if I put on a certain jacket, she knows. Can we hit them in the West? If I put on a certain jumpsuit jacket, she knows, don't fuck it, look at me like that. If the change out, if my change jacket, you know, it's like, don't fuck it, look at me like that. If the chains out, if my chains out, and Shane Christopher's out, I'm gonna fuck the wack you. No, that just happened, and it's like a lot. Like if a manager or somebody wants to come out

and see your publicist or something, you have a big show and you're out till three and you go out and you have a couple of drinks with them and you get home and then all of a sudden my daughter and son's going, Dad, can we go, come outside right now, let's throw the football and I'm just going like, just give me a kiss. Don't they have iPhones?

It's just, that's too much. It's too much. No, that's happening though, that's happening a lot. And it's like to the point where like, now they just will resort to that. They'll be like, oh, you know what, then five, he's tired, give me the fuck and he's locked in and I don't want that.

I love when rich comics don't have that thing and it's like, yeah, no, it's really know, and sometimes they just have to be with the nanny I mean what yeah, I'm a fucking nanny. Well, what is that? Bonnie and I will deal with reentry as I'll put more lube on Hey, can I can we just please for one second? Yes, we heard him going bup Bonnie Way back here remember Joke is what was keeping Wait till they hear this loob shit

Don't parents with fucking nannannies I think if you're a Nanny parents with nannies like What you know what like with you guys you go with a lot of friends like no you fucking make it work Yeah, we make it work and it's like a people all say hurt your comedy It's like no it hurts your comedy if you fucking don't do it right let's settle down if I was a millionaire comic You'd have somebody watch your I wouldn't John song And then again no

I would take my money to travel and shows You know it's not much but it's best I can do. I'll be at the funny bone. I'm a match do. That's nice. Let it sit there. You can't top that. We're gonna fucking bury this show.

What, who's the black guy? What? Your web guy. Okay, yeah, what's up dude? Oh my god. We're gonna fucking bury this show what who's the black guy? Okay, yeah, what's up dude? No Where's you and what the fuck where? First you jump what the fuck with What first you jump some or grabs the gun Bobby you would not want somebody taking your kid to the like listen, let me tell you right now You guys already let me just say something before you get in all this philosophical bullshit that you're about to do You guys already have somebody else raising your kids your wives now, okay?

So don't act like oh, what's easy if we had a nanny boy. Oh boy You spend the week you spend Monday and Wednesday with your kids You're fucking nuts. You're not you're not you're nuts. You're nuts. All right First of all first of all I want to know that girl shit. She's doing what my wife does. all first of all but the one I'm not don't go I'm just like I'm just trying to I want to hear no no no no no no no She's doing that girl shit. She's doing what my wife does. Now first of all, fuck you. Second of all Go ahead tell me when I'm with my kid and everybody fucking knows I can I don't work

Sundays. I lose money. I come home Sundays all day fucking long sun Sunday Monday, Tuesday. This week I changed this podcast because I needed to be with my kid So so me and him could hang out and then all day Wednesday when he's home till he goes to bed I don't leave the fucking house until the kid goes to bed most nights Thursday Fridays and Saturdays the only nights That I will fucking perform and do comedy. I do my podcast of Tuesdays But I don't go until he's fucking it ready for bed after read a book So I spend a hundred percent of the time I could spend with my kid I spend with them Okay, and I don't because I'll tell you this my life was fucked not having a guy in it

I was with my mom all the time and my wife is fucking run the fuck out I would never switch jobs with my wife in a million years because she's a stayed-home mom, okay? What I did it for six. How much she gets a lot of time off? Well, I'm telling you, when I'm home, I'm fucking home. Maybe she can get a job on those different things.

I'm fucking home. That's a good job. No, because I hate that shit. People say I don't fucking spend time, because I know guys who don't fucking spend time with their kids. I know guys who don't fucking hug their kids. I know guys who don't play on the fucking floor with their kids I know the guys come home talk to the kid for a minute do some homework or whatever and then fucking I need a paper I know guys you don't fucking like make out with my daughter

I would your daughter's a fucking smoker Especially that little one listen I apologize to you. No, I just I accept her apology Shut up. I'm just saying I'm like a tonight. I spent I I go out of my way But I'm I'm saying that it's not like a Mike's buddhist hungry This is funny because me and you can have this conversation. He can't do it. I can't I talk about Listen, we get We get a, what is that mean? What is that mean?

About being a parent. I'm not talking about being a parent. Yes you are. I'm talking about the relationship with my wife as I want my wife back. Like I miss, I miss, like we don't hold flowers tonight. Tell her, okay, do the dishes.

That's what I do once in a while. I'll take, I do once in a while. I'll take all of you to work. What? I'll empty the dishwasher. So come on, my cleaner kitchen sometimes. You know, I'll do things. But it does he not do that? I do sometimes. Oh, come on. I mean, so you do all the shit you're doing.

No, and when you do the, no, no, no, and when like, if you get like a, something wrong with your car, I'll go take care of it. You do, yeah, there's a divisional labor for sure. A divisional labor, how much is the division? Is it even 50? I don't golf. Thank God, it's a man sport.

Slow, hold up the course, oh another one out there. No, golf is a burden on my marriage when I played. Like she would just be like, you don't play anymore? No, I play, but when I do, it's like, she's like, you were gone and then now five hours and it's like, I don't mind that he's gone to trust me. That's not it.

Hey, Callaway just sent me clubs. $300 a club. $300. The whole set? No, for one club is 300. They sent me the whole set. Holy shit, nice. It's unbelievable. You mean me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me It's like if you're riding in the country, I'll explain it when we talked about it on Apple grow You ride in the country you might take a right turn to go look at an apple grove or a corn maze

Apple It is Orange growth. Oh, whatever Yeah, so and then you so sometimes you spin off the road and then you get back on the road So we spun off and talked about golf for a second because yeah, that's something we can end up Because why cuz you we connect on as you got something. No, he because he would have freed it. If he told me. Oh, you do it for him. No, no, I'm just not saying. No, we're gone. No, no, you know what? I think you'd appreciate this. I got some free shit today.

I just, I'm only telling you because I think you would like this. Now you're just making him want free shit. You just put it, I $300 a club, I got him for nothing. I was gonna get him. Now he's going, fuck, how do I get this? I was gonna give him my old set, but not now. You fucked it up. Oh really?

Fucking asshole. I wanted his old set. Why did you want his old set? Give it to me. I'll take you You can eat them. Do you remember What do you remember rich flu into a cactus? I got a video you remember that listen to me the bet one of the one of the greatest things ever Bonnie you understand he's like you guys going your own I I got my own cut. You guys share a cut.

Look, whatever. And he was leading. And he was in front of us. He was leading. He was letting us know he's the fucking golfer. Yeah. I mean, we're trying to have a good time. We're gonna go, but he's the, I'm a pro.

You guys stay. I'm going first. You guys follow me. He gets in this fucking cut. We're in the cut. I don't fucking golf, Bonnie, right? I'm in this cut. We get cigars.

We have a good time. No, Bonnie. He's just, as he's driving. He's just looking at his phone while he's driving the golf cart He's just looking at his phone and me and him are like lighting up the cigars. We're just ready to go Oh, and we look up and he fucking runs into a cactus He it looked like me buried in the ground The back of his car goes up Like it hit his chest he pops out of the fuck I think This cart goes up in here. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh So it was so hot that we saw snake that before we teed off Yeah, it was fucking huge, but I don't I don't I don't do that shit though Like I don't I don't even go to my cigar bar anymore. I'm home from fuck when I'm home I'm from here and I look I love doing stuff in my family. I really do I

I don't I don't give a fuck about golf and I'm not gonna go. Hey as soon as I come home Let me go somewhere. I am home with my wife. I just wish the time now I'm home all day. The kids at school, I'm with her. Like today was all right. We took a, she was like, you wanna take a nap? I was like, yeah. And then we took a nap. Whoa.

I was like, what the fuck? I thought nap was code, the touchy ding ding. Or like, maybe we could kiss. I went to the bed and she, I looked over and I pulled the covers up and she's just out I'm like, I guess what we're fucking taking a mid-afternoon nap before they're With older daughters You're gonna when they get older. Yes, you have more time. You'll do more things

You do and you'll look back and you'll go wow look at all the fun I had and all this stuff I did like now I don't get I don't do it as much with Reyna as Bonnie because I'm on the road so much You know, I mean Bonnie really raised Rayna and it's like when Bonnie attacks Rayna to her. It's like stereo But Bonnie raised her perfectly a bright smart kid No, I know I know I know Thursday Friday Saturday'm still on the ground. I look back and I don't do the road like you. No, I know. I go Thursday, Friday, Saturday. You do, you fucking the week. I gotta do what I gotta do.

Whatever. But one thing I do with my older daughters that my parents didn't do with me is I took hundreds of pictures with them. I mean, Epson said with this big and this, right, just a little bit. And I knew someday as I get older, they'd come my house and just look through the photo albums and it just it it brings so much fucking joy and you know just to see those memories. So you'll have you now you're gonna struggle with a young kid. I'm not talking about the kid. Me and the kid are good. Me and the I spend so much time

with that kid. I do not feel guilty about that. No, no, no, I'm talking about the life. Yes Like it's easier as they get older like what I feel like I I swear to God I feel like someday she's waiting for this kid to get a certain age and then she's gonna tell me to beat it Well, she probably but still what? No, that's when you'll have more free time and you'll do more stuff because you guys bang the whole time right like when you had the baby like you guys Yeah, yeah, I remember one time we were banging. I was shaking the baby the I'm sorry, but the best thing that was on the side and the baby was crying and we were having sex and I wanted to Baby so I was shaking the best of that as we were having sex. Remember? I do.

And I'm... I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it.

I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it.

I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I no, live your life. I'm telling you, whatever happens happens. Why would I do it? I'm telling you, there's a silver line. It gets easier.

Your marriage gets easier as your kick is on. Now, your kid might be crazy. And Bonnie and I have fights over my daughter a lot about parenting, you know, because. Do you know I heard, you know that? Who was the Billy Eilish? Yeah. Who was, I'm Stern. I didn't get to hear it. daughter a lot about parenting, you know, because. Do you know who I heard? You know that? Who was the Billy Eilish? Yeah.

Who was on Stern? I didn't get to hear about everybody's bragging about this person. Well, is the seven out of the person? She's just the new. She's the one you mean by that. Well, she was on Stern. Everybody's raving about the interview. Oh, and I was like,

Well, the interview was great. It was a little awkward at some times. She's 17. Her brother and her, like, the biggest things in the fucking world right now she's amazing artist yeah but her parents are actors in LA and they raised her in the in this little house but they said this is a fucked up thing and I can't figure out how they did it no they said no punishment no rewards they never punish their kids, no consequences, and no rewards. I don't know how the fuck you do that.

Well, like love is a reward, so what are you gonna withhold that? I mean, this is- But like when you kid does something bad, what do you say? What's it in our country? Look at her face. I mean, what if your kid's kidnap, you say, you find it, you're still not getting nothing? Is she like happy?

No reward even if- She's cool and her music is really good, and I don't know if she like happy? No reward even if. So. She's cool and her music is really good. And I don't know if she's happy but it's. No, she's very happy. Very happy. I know I shouldn't ask you guys if she's happy. But well adjusted. Her and her brother are the families,

the very tight unit, they're very close family. Almost like one of those hippie LA families. She's adjusted the brother, they're very cool. They have their shit together. There's no problem. So if they're leaving the house and it's not, I love you, be safe, give them a hug, they don't do that. No, it's not that, it's that when they do something wrong

or right, there's no reward, like I do consequence reward, because I don't hit my kid, like my mom hit me and screamed at me to make fucking stop doing that, right? Yeah. And one time I hit my kid, slapped her once. You slapped your kid?

This once. Where? Where, I think we were about 7-11. No, it, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I just gotta accept it. I feel a pain on my eyebrow.

I know. Like right here, it feels like it's like numb. I don't know what to do. I just gotta accept it. I feel a pain on my eyebrow. I know. Like right here it feels like it's like numb. Like there's something quivering right now. Is it rage? I love it's rage or confusion or rage. He really is an exercise in letting go.

You know? People always go, why do you let him dress like that? I'm like there's so many things, dude. I just let it go. Yeah, one time I dress like that? I'm like there's so many things to Just let it go. Yeah, one time I went like that interface. Yeah, so why because she was She can get him going very very very fresh and she I said I said but you're very fresh. This is the part that I don't understand I thought that you have to I let her slap me back twice

Do you see what you're doing again? Go ahead, go ahead. But like other people are allowed to talk. This isn't like, hey, make sure Richa said everything he wants to say before, look at around how many people there are. You really have to drain the swamp when you talk, don't you? Oh, sorry.

Yeah, I want to get one of those things that you have at the dentist that sucks it out. I can have them while in three to five times. I'm like, those long-hila. Like, what were you saying? What were you saying? What were you saying? I'm saying that, like, a lot of it is that they hurt each other's feelings, but it comes

out as anger then. And then they go, they're joking or they're not joking. But he, well, there's two comedians raising a kid. Obviously, she has a fucking warped sense of humor. You know, she's a very, very sharp adult sense of humor. And when she uses it to his liking, like at the comedy club or is showing her off, it's fine. I know't show her off.

Totally great. Right. But when it's between them, he gets his feelings hurt. No, I don't get my feelings hurt. I just don't want my kid to be fresh to respect her. Why don't you let go of that? Just go, that's, it's like two singers raising a kid and then being like, I just don't ever want her to sing.

No, no, no, okay, you're getting this wrong. Why? If I want my kid, no, no, okay, you're getting strong. Why? If I want my kid, if you can, if I tell my kid something, I want them to do it and not say no. I just want them to respect or I would. What about you, what's that? What about you wife?

She has a role, I can't tell a what you're talking to. Okay, bye. Fail jokes. I know it. I fucking wish. She doesn't hurt my feelings. She makes me laugh a lot. She's a fun, you want your daughter back here. And I'm proud fucking wish. She doesn't hurt my feelings. She makes me laugh a lot. She's a fun, you want your daughter here as a backer.

And I'm proud of her. I just, she just got her test scores back from school. These, you guys, you guys, you guys do the same thing. These parents do because I don't let my kids swear. I don't let him, I don't let him swear. Well, I let her swear and I let her say whatever she wants, and I ask any questions that she wants. Why, what is the philosophy behind that?

I don't know, I'm a little bit lazy. And. But I honestly don't think like, I don't think words are bad. Like, it's like, I, first of all. Tell that to fucking. Change the list. No, I just think, oh, one word is bad. It's like I Tell that to fucking No, I just one word is bad You learn Three you learn the correct places to do stuff. That's what we should be teaching here

Like you don't say that in front of this person, but she has like a very high Comedy skill. I mean she just really does she just you know. I've had my, I went, my kid has said, she said, F you and me. So she said, fuck you. Right, but instead of then trying to make it so that you can have a conversation with her about when and how it's appropriate, you immediately, you go to 100,

then you guys are in it. Now you're fighting. Did you hit her with the rings on? No, I just, I'm violent or something back twice. So let me ask you, if she's sitting down doing homework and gets frustrated or something and she goes, oh, fuck, you guys, like, you guys would say. I would say, no, we'll say, hey, I mean, I don't mind.

There's so much. She's being funny or, you know, she used to do this song or she would just swear in the song and it was so funny to me and I would laugh and stuff. Like if it's like that, that's fine. Yeah, like my kid with Kimmelies, I heard a bad word. Can I say it? I heard and I go, what? He goes, can I say it? I go, go ahead and say it. He goes, motherfucker.

And I was like, whoa! I thought you were going to say shit. What sucks is when he get on, like the bus is really fun. Like Lucas came off the bus and he goes, dad. And he just, I don't know what to do. He goes, dad, what's a faggot? And I go. Shut up, bitches. He goes, yeah, what's a faggot? And I go. Shut up, put your stuff in your pants. He's already a host in the morning. And I go, I go, I go, I go, what?

Like, he goes, I don't even know who that's about. Is it who I think it is? And I go, what? And he goes, I heard these kids on a bus, so they said, faggot, what's a faggot? And I just, I was like, I asked your mother, no, I wanted to ask her. I didn't know what to do.

I didn't know what to say. You say, well, that's something really, I said it's something really bad to say to people that are gay or homosexual. And I said that, you know, he's like, what do you mean, like the N word, you know, and I go, yeah, it's kind of like, it's kind of like the N word towards, you know,

what's the N word? Yeah, what do you say, what's the N word? And he just got, he said, Faggot word towards what's the N word? Yeah, what do you talk what's the and he just got said faggot, but what was the N word? But no the bus is dangerous man the bus like no they use the innocence like they take the innocence gets sucked out on the fucking bus I agree Shitty kids in the back and they have older brothers that say it That's where she heard the N word the first time was on the bus yeah the bus is bad and I fucking but bus driver got in trouble you supposed to say just sit down do my buddy my buddy teaches eighth grade and he said

they look girls were showing each other how to give blow jobs on the bus in eighth grade oh my god told this. What bus is this? Wait, let's, wait. I'm afraid. If I give you $100, really film that next time. What about the pepper? What did they do? Oh, a radio is sitting in the car. They'd all say she goes, oh, I get it. I go, what are you talking about?

She was, I was just thinking about this thing that the boys used to tell the girls in third grade. And I just figured it out what they were doing. I go, what was it? If you, if you put pepper into your mouth, I just used to tell the girls in third grade, and I just figured it out what they're doing. I go, what was it? If you pepper into your mouth, like if you mind putting pepper into your mouth, then you can taste the pepper.

So all the girls were walking around going, I can taste it. I can taste it. She got it years later. Yeah, years later, like, four years later, she was like, That's super smart. I have super smart life. Oh, she connected the dots. I can. I'll go to Bonnie super smart. Oh, she's connected to that. I get it.

I'll go to Bonnie. If we weren't, I wouldn't fall around. I go, oh, we can have a snack tonight. I should go, ooh, gross. I, uh, we let her watch. We don't have any boundaries. Well, we say to hold me, drill in the wall. But I think that's, but I think there's something to be said about that.

Your kids, you know, that she watches? No. That's, you know, that's our trip, right? Yes, yes. I'm about to, please, please. Like, when I heard that they have no punishment for their kid, I'm sitting there going, I'm punishing my kid. I feel like I'm breaking him.

I feel like every time I, Well, no, but your job is to give them direction. There are aliens here. But do I have to work? I don't have to make it. I don't have to fucking rip his life away. No, no, no. To do that, I can just go like...

Until they're 10. There was a bunch of... And then you have to. There was a bunch of things that he did today. And I was like, why are you doing that? That's not today. And I was like, why, I'm just like, why are you doing that? That's not good smart. And he was like, I'm sorry. And I said, all right, instead of going,

don't, you know, time out, give me this. So you get that. He's a little kid. How old is he? He's six. We have a rack. I mean, he's still so little. What?

We have a rack. Yeah, we put her on there and we like stretch her. We stretch her. We use the middle times. It's medieval. It's medieval. No, it's not. It's not. It's not. We like treasure you use them a middle times I Have maybe so nervous I Like middle you don't know and I

My dumbness 40 and 1942 you know I'm basing this to be smashed by him about smart You know I remember a couple of times he's gonna tell the story. No, I remember I get to a parking story. No, I'm gonna tell during about the beginning ages We'll just say the beginning ages Wait what parking story you love to tell my dumbness when they brought up my car out and I was like, why do they have it in that little? Oh, I forgot. She's so stupid. I thought they had my car in a closet. You know how the car comes down to an elevator? She thought that personal elevator was for her car. How of the time when we were leaving, he goes goes give me a ride to my car and we went

into the garage and there was a brand new Range Rover and I and I go all right get in he goes this yours I go yeah I just got it fucking I love it I just walked around the he got in sat down the I went around the back as they're bringing up my Ford fucking edge and I just got my car left and he was I just I remember driving up and he was sitting there in that fucking somebody's car 15 minutes later I'm on the west side I read you motherfucker great it was the greatest he goes the guy came up he goes, this is my friends car goes no, it isn't Yeah, we gonna end this up all right, so check it out

Bonnie, what do you got be so you get a lot of shit going on? I'm gonna tape a An album during the New York comedy festival. It's great. It's called three and a half stars and The other one no What should be better tell called three and a half stars. And... I think you're calling it the other one. No. What should be better, Tegel? Two and a half stars are Vloss's wife. I would say, I would say two and a half stars. So she saves herself. So it's even Steven's.

I like you. I like three and a half stars. No, three and a half stars is great. So that's the... The good Chinese restaurant. Yeah, three and a three and a half stars. It's a eighth and ninth, I think, at stand. That's great.

Make sure you go. Eighth and ninth, at the stand, November. She's one of the funniest comics going right now. Everybody knows it. And she's blowing up, she's blowing up this year. Thank you. A lot of shit's happening with her. All right, what, uh, Versi, what do you got?

Funny bonus circuit, October 10 through 13. No shit. Yeah, love that room. Okay. Vos, what do you got? Uh, funny bonus Syracuse October 10 through 13. No shit. Yeah, love that room. Okay. Uh, Vos, what do you got? We got creeps with kids.com. We got a good. Creeps with kids.

The store chart starts in two weeks. Creeps with kids.com. Where everywhere? This fucking is the Rolling Stones Accomedy tour. Myself, Bobby Kelly, Florentine Bennington, four headliners nonstop laughter. Also the week of the eighth, next week,

the whole week they're dedicating to all my albums, my new album coming out, and they're gonna play my unmask. And serious satellite radio, it's gonna be Vos all the time, not all the time. I mean, they're just doing it, but the Krispy K's do it. They got that. Krispy K's do it. They got that. They're Krispy K's to our let me tell you. Yeah. We've done a couple of shows. Yeah. Killer. Fucking killer. One one. It's like the

St. Valentine's Massacre of comedy. It's really good. Crazy. It's a great. They're already fans. Yeah. I'm going to be at the this weekend coming up. I'm at the funny bone Friday Saturday night in Manchester, Connecticut, right? At the Hartford Funnybone. Hartford Funnybone, I got one Friday. Yeah, it's a good club.

Friday Saturday night and I'm out. So if you're in Connecticut, come down, spread the word, get everybody to show up and cruiseyourkids.com for me. Make sure you check it out. We got my Patreon, the great billber, episode is up there right now. Become a $5 member, price of a cup of coffee, coffee, coffee,

and you get all the life in the Sheds. You get all the episodes of YKWD before anybody else, audio and video and a bunch of other stuff. Mike, what do you have? I'm at Mike Abrucci on all social media and I got a podcast called a little time that you can listen to nice back what you got I'm at human places on Instagram that ease it three and

Merch for Robert Kelly is a remembered to be happy.com That's right Chris get over there motherfuckers stop wasting time. What do you got? Subpodcast at not that cheney C H E N E Y I'm gonna designer so if you want if you like poppies merch. I made it now I could do it for you if you pay me great Designers great merch you guys need merch. You need to design that they do it What do you go? Yeah, it's good to see you gap. Hey, I miss you. I miss you too. I haven't seen you in so long I know I know you little fucking she's gonna blow up to you know, I know I know I'm gonna start my side. She's your movie. Yeah, it's incredible

She's fucking right, but you're very good into it. Oh, thanks. I'm a good guy. I just get a shot. You know, bon yeah I think I've always said I play your wife of your husband I play boss in the movie. Yeah, so that would kill him movie. Yeah, so that would kill him. So kill him. While your head goes on, Bonnie, what are you? Oh, but you can follow me. At Gabby is Brian on Instagram. I have a monthly show for Swence Day of every month at the Waystation in Brooklyn.

And I have a podcast called on a bash podcast. And that movie will eventually be out called Morning Morning. Yeah, it's gonna, it's gonna, I thought it was great. You did a fucking amazing job. Yeah, really good. It's art. Mike, what do you got besides a sweaty forehead? You're right, kid. Oh, somebody just had an open the window after the room was cold. Oh So who Gabby?

Oh, man cuz I open the window. It's why it's hot here. Let's have a fight right at the end. Oh Fight fight fight fight. What do you got so passive aggressive? Is it that's a personal responsibility? But also oh Gabby, you're back! Unbelievable. You're back. Unbelievable. They come back. Anyway, they probably, they probably,

I opened a window. That's what it takes. Look at the jerseys coming up. No, you know, but a window, you made the room hot. That's what the problem is. Of course. Yeah, no, no. It wasn't the heat rating off your body.

It was me, because I opened the window. Why'd you open the window? Because it was hot in here. So the window made it cooler. Because it's cold outside. Yeah. I kind of believe it. The air conditioner, what have also done that,

and what have been called the whole time. It's a cross breeze. So when you open the window, it's a cross breeze. That's how the air conditioner works. So I'd love to stick around for this, honestly, but I gotta go. Take it easy, bye bye. Bonnie, I love you so much.

Thanks for coming on. Thanks. I'm sorry again for being so late. And thanks for taking over. Don't worry about that stuff. You drop. We'll get that. Don't worry.

No, I'm serious. Don't worry about it. Why don't you worry? What are you? How are you ever going to be famous if you're still bending over picking shit up your people, please? Humble. She's very humble.

Stop with that. Follow Bobby at Robert Kelly live very humble. Stop with that. Follow Bobbi at Robert Kelly live on Instagram. Follow the podcast. I got you. You do podcast. And we have a new web new website coming out pretty soon at like it. You do.com follow me at Mike. Feast wore his. That's it. All right. Are you giving me. I can't do this now. I'm doing ad you fuck. What? Give me one fuck, oh who's that? One second. Alright, you guys are the best fans of the world.

What do you, yeah, Zach, what do you got, Zach? Zach, the new guy. Alright buddy, we'll see you guys next week. Thanks for listening, best fans of the world. You know what dude, see you next week. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelas de madrida, Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros.

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