Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Fussy Britches

Episode Date: July 23, 2018

Joe List and Bonnie McFarlane join Bobby on the power of manifestation and spousal chores! What works, what’s right, what gets the job done! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network Riotcast.com Welcome to the funniest podcast on the Planet Earth. This is going to be a cost of fire. It's my guess, it's no rules. What are the my guess hall? I'm sure I've already said should I regret? Can I get a microphone? No, that's a fuck.

That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of eyes on. It's just us sitting down Yeah, and sometimes it's hilarious sometimes. It's having no topics no directions. I love doing it Side to the coin On the day you think my podcast is popular enough where I might affect some of these lines. You never know. It's Robert Kelly, so you know what to podcast on lightcast.com. We're gonna try it. I'm just gonna pull a strike like that. I'm gonna hit it. I'm gonna hit it. I'm gonna hit it. I'm gonna hit it.

I'm gonna hit it. I'm gonna hit it. I'm gonna hit it. I'm gonna hit it. I'm gonna hit it. I'm gonna hit it. I'm gonna hit it. I'm gonna hit it.

I'm gonna hit it. I'm gonna hit it. I'm gonna hit it. I'm gonna hit it. I'm gonna hit it. I'm gonna hit it. I'm gonna hit it. I'm gonna hit it.

I'm gonna hit it. I'm gonna hit it. I'm gonna about. And first before that, I want to thank Laffable. Laffable, the app is amazing. Joe, you use Laffable. I love Laffable. I love the proprietor of Laffable and I love the app. And I'm happy to be part of it. It is an amazing app. If you love podcasting, you need to go get laughable.com

for your iOS device. Android is coming very soon. It is for podcasting. It introduced you to so many new podcasts. It shows you all the podcasts, your favorite comics have been on. You can buy merch tickets. It is a one-stop shop for comedy and podcasting.

laughable.com, make sure you go get that. And go to domsauceages.com and get your steak tips. We gave away two bags to You guys sent in all these emails do not fret and do not keep sending the emails if you want to send them You can send them right to doms But if you want to send us we might try to do one more before the summer's out a bag I'm gonna talk to dom see if it can happen But right now you're the people that got your steak tips You should have them they're at your house, so enjoy those. Thanks Dom sausages and for supporting the YKWD show and

Live from the shed and go to patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. We just shot two new episodes yesterday Oh, yeah, yeah, Gab was there. I got actually shot him. What's up with that? You fucking edited him you shoot them. Yeah, it was fun, right? It was so much fun. We did no Duarm in the owner of the comedy seller. Yeah, and then we just did Elaine Hendrix Jimmy's daughter. No, we did Elaine Hendrix From she's the actress that was in parent trap and Hendrix from, she's the actress that was in parent trap, Inspector Gadget 2, she's been in a bunch of movies. No, Home Alone.

Hot what? Home Alone, no? No, Inspector Gadget 2, not Home Alone. Were you listening? I thought she was in Home Alone into the parent trap. No, Home Alone, that came out 30 years ago. Wow, I really cried in those in my head.

Yeah, and then of course she was the star of sex drugs in Rocker Road, then it's Leary and my self. Interesting funny show, a lot of good stories behind the scene stuff. Also, the history of the comedy seller, the history of the cafe, wow. Those are coming up very soon. So make sure you go and join patreon.com,

search for Robert Kelly. Become a member. It's a price of a cup of coffee, fuck faces. If you support, are you okay? What if I just died? Don't I need a job what if I died off a chocolate chip cookie bite which we didn't have in here because you can't eat in the studio I'm not allowed to what's up with your right eye? What it looks like someone dumped water in it looks like my eyes My eyes wetten bloody

buddy you're exaggerating it looks a little it's very well something's going on i'm not exaggerating i'm using uh... i don't know i feel like i have now i didn't feel it now i feel it you fucking luna licks wet and filled with blood my i you're right i it's like your bloody my i looks like your mom's vagina my mother's vagina has not bled in some time yeah i did red my eyes red yeah you got a fucked up i do you got cookie i My mother's vagina has not blood in some time. Yeah, it is red. My eyes red.

Yeah, you got a fucked up eye, dude. You got cookie eye. I don't know. I don't know what happened. Do I have pink eye? Is that pink eye? Might. From what?

Or you might have just rubbed it really hard. You would rub it really different of those pink eye. Yeah, it'd be pink. What's up, Lesbo? I just walked in like a dude. I'm transitioning. What's going on? What's going on? No, I'm not using any drugs. I'm just using my what's going on you now using any drugs I'm just using my body zone

what your hair is getting shorter yeah it's like I'm getting less and less estrogen just naturally your husband doesn't annoy you anymore you kind of hang out and have fun yeah we've started to like the same TV shows I'm gonna take a golf no he's transitioning the other way I don't know if you've seen his hands. That's where he's starting. He's starting. I tell you what, then, they make him take a shirt off a lot on the gym and sams show. I used to be upset about it, but then I was like, that's what he wants.

That makes him happy. Yeah. I don't know why. Well, you know why. I don't understand if I don't have to the summer He looks good for a guy his age. I know he doesn't want that last part Well, I'm sorry your parents should have fucked in another, you know era. I mean he's old. Yeah, everybody was an era when they fucked And they what happened, you're right.. She have a stroke. You're right

Was it him? No, I'm listening Don't throw me under the bus you're my wife fuck damn respect me right respect me He's got a big thing respect. I was listening to you podcasts the other day. Oh my god Yeah, if you heard their podcast absolutely not in your podcast the other day. Oh my god. Yeah. If you heard their podcast. Absolutely not. I don't listen to any podcast. Joe list is here and Bonnie McFarlane is here. Two of the funniest motherfuckers I know one's fun and the other one but I won't say who. Let's just let you judge. I've been listening to Crime Town. You ever hear that? No, what's that? Crime Town? I'm like, I just started listening to. It's about crimes and they go through a town the first season is about providence

Yeah, and they go through the mayor was like you know a lunatic in the mob. It's all it's pretty great providence Rhode Island yeah, really it was not really mobbed out anymore, is it I think it was the last kind of mob run city Yeah, well, yeah, what the mayor was in the mob I think but he five years ago, right? Yeah, I think it was a while ago Well, and so wasn't the Vegas mayor was in the mob yeah, yeah What I've seen it Providence was fuck you seen it that's a David speech. I hate you They yeah, Providence was kind of prostitution was legal up till six years ago There's a lot of fucking crazy shit went on in Providence. Yeah, itidence was kind of prostitution was legal up till six years ago. There was a lot of fucking crazy shit Went on in Providence. Yeah, it's a spicy city in fact

I will be at the comedy connection in Providence July 19 through the 21st Please come on out. I have a bonus infrastructure. I would love it Really be helpful. Yeah, you're doing Thursday Friday Saturday. Yeah, yeah, that Thursday dump the Thursday So you can make your bonus. That's what they do. When they give you a bonus structure, they make you do a Thursday in a Sunday, so you'll never make your bonuses on that Friday

or a late show Saturday. You don't get it Saturday, right? But I will make it if everybody comes out, he's providence, buddy, she ain't, she ain't, she. What do you think? I think what Bobby's gonna say is there's no hope for you. So you might as well save your money folks. Actually, I was saying there's no hope for you. So, you might as well save your money folks. Actually, I was saying there's no hope for me.

There's a lot of hope for him. Well, this is the first step before we should encourage fans to come to one show. Because I only have enough fans to come, I got 40 people in this region. But, fan Friday, why don't you do it, start doing that. Well, what's what I'm saying is that, if you tell them, exactly what I'm saying,

is like eliminate that Thursday show, but tell your fans, because I had a club say, are you, we can sell out the Saturday show, early show. So we're not giving you a bonus. Yeah, look, cool. I'm not going to promote it at all. Right. I'm just promoting Friday then. Right. I'll, I'm there Friday. Go fuck you. I'm going to go on radio. I'm not. Why would I mean? Friday go fuck yourself. You know what I mean though? I'm a dilly. You listen to the wolf.

Oh, it's Bonnie and Joe. Friday, fuck yourself. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha. They, uh, yeah, why the fuck would I do it? Why am I helping you? Because some of my fans do go Saturday early show you cock suckers.

Yeah. So I help you sell that out. I should get a goddamn bonus. But whatever, bonus is, I just want to be one of those comics that at the end of their show, they just, they have, they're like this, and then they do this, and it's just, whaah, sold out, and they get to put sold out every show.

And then they're all sent there on a theater tool with other comics that just sell out. Some things are talking about Bert. Well, there's a lot of guys tour with other comics that just sell out. I feel like you're talking about Bert. Well, there's a lot of guys. Bert sells out, Nate sells out. A lot of guys sell. A lot of guys are fucking. They all on a tour together.

They're all on a tour together, but Joe Rogan, Mike I still rock tour. Ari sells out. Ari sells out. All these guys, there's a lot of guys that are just fucking wiping the floor with this. Just going to clubs and selling out, which is great. I would love to.

I don't, I don't believe in it. Um, why? What? I'm not my thing. What? Do you guys, I don't know how you guys work. Like if Don was doing comedy, I mean, do you, do you, if you get a gig that's better than his gig, do you say you're staying home?

You know, it doesn't work like that. I don't pursue comedy at all. I just take, I just take whatever comes to me. And I just don't, I don't, I've maybe made two phone calls out about comedy for myself in the last 15 years. Are you kidding me? Yeah. Bonnie, you're one of the funniest people I know.

I know, but it's, first of all, it's not as fun to do anymore as it used to be. Why? I never got an audience. Why is it not a fuss? It just, tell me why. Well, because it's so like, it's strict. It's like the, the, the shows that I do.

Yeah. A lot are like New Jersey. I, I, I say I do every steak and seafood restaurant in the tri-state area. That's, I wish I did. I think. I do a lot of one-nighters and so it's like it's not really your fans coming. It's just people are coming.

Or if they are my fans, they know me from like Opie and Anthony or you know. And I do love those fans. It's just that it's like one way or the other. If you do something that's like subversive, people laugh for the wrong reason too much or they get mad at you for telling it. There's no like kind of like, oh, we understand the bigger picture of what you're saying. But your fans would. So I don't think my fans do sometimes.

I think they like subversive humor, but they like it for the not necessarily the same reasons I do. But do your fans get mixed with your husband? Yes, yes, it's all mixed up together. Yeah, absolutely. So that kind of fucks things up. Or is it good? Well, like I said, I love going along.

I love those shows. I do a lot of crowd work. It's really fun. They don't get upset. There's nobody freaking out. I love it. But it's not necessarily where if I if I'm doing like the tonight show, that's a different kind of comedy

than I'm doing. Yeah. Then when I go do, or if I do the stand on the weekend, it's just mostly me doing stand-up, straight stand-up, it's different than what I would do, say. But it's hard, I mean, it is hard because Joe, you have the same thing, like your wife does stand up too.

Yes. Does it cause fucked up? I mean it is hard because Joe you have the same thing like your wife does stand up too. Yes, does it cause? Fucked up. I mean is it is it hard together? They don't have one career. So it is I'll show you my bank account No, but that reminds me of my half-hour on Netflix that is streaming right now well she's in line I don't have a career so I thought it'd be a good time to plug my Netflix half-hour I just told you that I do steak and seafood restaurants not me I do the Providence Comedy Connection July 19th being stopped it when you do that we're gonna plug you at the end stop all right well it the end stop all right was bit all right

This bit that actually works out in my favor for marketing purposes. I'm gonna Whole show that I keep doing those work in your favor for marketing purposes. I'm serious does it does it? I mean, I don't have I have to I have to go out and do the thing all the time my dawn just and she's cool That she's like I don't I don't want, she might go to work again when he's older. She's talking about just because she doesn't wanna be home alone all the fucking time. She might try to make jewelry again. She for her work is like a socialization experience.

Well, I mean, if she makes money, if she worked now, it would be to pay a fucking nanny to watch the kid. It's just a wash. Right. I'm just gonna watch the kid. It's just a wash. Right. I'm just going to watch the kid. She'd rather just like you stay home. You're with your kid a lot, right?

Yes. You don't have a nanny, do you? No. No. Can't even hardly get a babysitter. Why? Well, Rich's, I put him in charge of getting the babysitter on his service.

And apparently, I found out, I overheard him talking to somebody else, some guy that he picks the baby Ciders as though he were dating so he has that same criteria. I what size breasts is she. Very outlawish. It all just younger means. Does she like a French manicure? Yeah.

I can't hire a hot baby said she got a hot baby said it once. I was I told you you got to fire her. She's like why? I was like because I I hope her car breaks down and I have to drive her home. Oh my god, but then so you can rape her? I'm rape. I get her. I would never rape her body. Is that how you got Fistuka? How's it baby? Fistuka, Kelly Fistuka was the she was like, I buy babysit, Bobby.

I can buy babysit. I'm like, oh my God, with that accent, why would you not be great with children, right? She, I literally had a teacher out of White Pekits ass. The, my kid shit, and I'm like, all right, well, you wanna, she's like, oh, I get a knife, I can hear. Oh, oh, she's like.

What did she think was like? I go, yeah, because when I said I go, did you think he was not gonna shit? The babysitter. Yeah, one of our babysitters, like, put rain into bed fully clothed. I found that odd. That's, I'll tell you why that happened.

Because they fell asleep on the couch, didn't do shit, and then heard you come in and they ran around through on the fucking bed with their outfit on. I've gone to bed without checking on rain after the babysitter, like, paid the babysitter and got in bed. And then, like, you'm gonna get in bed with her outfit on. I've gone to bed without checking on Reyna after the baby sitter, like paid the baby sitter and gone to bed. And then like, you know, in the morning, they're like, what, what if she's...

You have to go and put a mirror over her nose. No, what I mean, like, what if she's on there in the morning and you have to tell police, like, I don't know when it happened. Oh, I didn't check on my daughter. When did this happen between a 1030 and 9.45 a morning? Wait a minute, you didn't check on your daughter? No, I know, exactly.

Your parenting comes totally into question. Oh, shit. Yeah. Yeah, it's, I just, I was just a new podcast here the day. I don't know, I don't know if there's a, I mean, I know you have a podcast too, which is hilarious. I'd rather not mention it. Why? I don't know I don't know if there's a I mean I know you have a podcast to which is hilarious. I'd rather not mention it. Why? Like it. All right. Well, but I appreciate believe me. They know I know they know but

It's Tuesday's the stories stories stories. I was sort of a stories No, stories. Stories. But I was listening to your podcast. The fact that you guys aren't, don't have a TV show, I know they have to recast rich with somebody you can act. It'd be Joe and I. That's what we do. I love the guy.

Can you do a rich boss? I am in the screen actor's guild. I can do, like a stupid. No, you know that's too much, too much, too much. What? It's like, you can't let him know you're doing it. There you can. Bonnie, Bonnie, Bonnie.

Yeah. I'm gonna. You know who does it so well? He always sounds like he's sucking on a candy on the podcast. Who's the guy that does his voice? Oh my day, Bob DeBono. Bob DeBono is so good at it. Sometimes when Rich is yelling at me,

it's like I can see Bob DeBono. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like Rich doing impression of Bob DeBono doing impression of Rich. It's literally, he is one of the funniest guys. And I mean, he is one of my favorite people. Richer Bob. Rich Voss.

I love Bob too, but Rich is one of the funniest guys out there right now. I mean, he just really makes me laugh. He kills, and you too, but I'm serious. I'm not going to smoke in your ass, but the podcast, I don't know why it's not a TV show. I fucking laugh. I hate doing it.

I'm so embarrassed about it. That's so much for me, the fact because you try to do it every week, and you try to make it funny. I hate that mad. But that's so much because you try to do it every week. And you try to make it funny. I hate that our lives are going out. I want people. I live in LA for a long time. I'm Canadian. My whole thing is don't let them know what's really going on. You know inside the home. It's like you go be something out there and then you come back to whatever nonsense you have here. But you don't. And, you go be something out there and then you come back to whatever nonsense you have here. And it's just always going out there. Our dysfunction is just flying around.

But the part that's great is that he's so dysfunctional. And you have a little grasp of reality because he's like, let's go have sex. And you're like, Reina has a friend over. And he's like, let's go in the storage room. You're like, I don't think that's right either. But it's like the fact that you have to, the fact that you really have to explain that to him. And he's still going, we're gonna go to the storage room. Okay, but this is the thing, I don't know if he's joking. I don't know if he's serious about that or not.

He won't tell me. And so I don't really know. He's not joking. He's not joking. Honey, I've only just calmed that. I've just got you honey. Realization maybe two years ago that I sort of got I thought he was in on the joke for so long and my

frustration now is alleviated somewhat because I feel like he's got autism or something I've come I'm softened on him do you know what I mean I won't say every time are you a fucking idiot? You know what I mean? It's the funniest fucking thing. And then he's in there. And he goes, show me your tit. And there's a kid with another kid over.

And she's like, do you think if she came in here and saw us having said, what do you think that would be okay with her? Like a parents are like, that seems fine. Yeah, that's fine. It's like the fact that that sentence has to be said to another adult, I was fucking howling. God damn it.

That's why, like me and my wife have a good time. We laugh a lot, but I do most of the fucking goofy shit. Don, don't bust my balls, she's pretty good, but you guys must fucking laugh all the time. And so you two, right? You and Sarah. All the time. It's crazy.

She's the funniest person I know. Well, let's not get carried away. She's the funniest woman I know. She's the funniest woman you know. She's the third funniest person I know. That's pretty good. That's top three is I know a lot of people. I like that I push you into that joke.

The funniest person you know. The third funniest person. She's the funniest person your the third funniest person is the funniest person that's willing to have sex with me by far who's the first person no she's it no who's the first person that doesn't have sex with you oh um nictipolo makes me laugh a lot he's very funny I don't agree with everything he said and nowadays you can't even I'm I'm like I'm not a new

But yeah, so I was like you should be guys. You shouldn't be promoting this publicly. I'm like I know the catch 20 years You get to do you haven't lived in a scance. I just read Lewis's Twitter. Can you bring that up? Oh, yeah Well stay with doing a podcast. This is why I really do love Lewis, you know, I just He just doesn't he's just Lewis and I love people who would just themselves. Yeah, they can't help it. It just doesn't they can't help it. It's just yeah, it's he has to be that guy. Apparently, uh oh, can you read that? Who are you asking? Do you want to do the review or the other thing they actually want to know what happened. So go to that. I want to read that. I want to read that. Uh right other thing they actually read. I want to know what happened. Let's go go to that. I want to read that.

Right there. Can you read that? Gabby, you read it. Click it. It's right there. Click it. I was sexy. I was small in it.

Click it. Click it. Last night, during a taping of legions of skanks, a man, I believe, to be an open. Can you do it? Lewis, Jay Gomez, voice, please. Last night. Last night, during a taping of Legion of Skanks, a man I believed to be

an open mic comedian approached the table and took the microphone out of our guest hand to interrupt our show and let us know that we are racists because there was a spectator in the crowd wearing a proud boys hat. Why is it becoming Jewish? I don't know. I want to say we brought them from bagels and locks to work everything out. Well, hi, I'm going to go ahead. What's going on? Read you, boss.

At that point, I did what any other hot tempered Puerto Rican would have done and chased him out of the room like the bitch he was. We are now being labeled Nazis by some comics on FB. Yes, Two Jews in a Puerto Rican are Nazis. You dumb fucks. Not only that, we had Danny Tamburelli on as our guest. A fucking ginger. Genders are more gross than Jews and more or any good to combine. Comedy is dead. I say we go out with a bang. Hashtag Legion of Skanks. Now what's the other day? I want to see that review because I didn't get to see that

earlier. Let's grow up. Michael. You want to scroll down? because I didn't get to see that earlier. I scroll up, Michael. You would scroll down. Oh, that's just thing that he posted the top thing. He told us, but let's just read wine so people who don't know him can get a feel. Sure, this is if you don't know, though, it's here you go. Michael, you read that. Louis J. Gomez can go fuck himself in every way imaginable. He told his jokes with full knowledge of how uncomfortable and how unsafe it would make his audience feel and told them anyways

It is hilarious Yeah, that's what we do. Well, I had no idea that was even something we were supposed to be aware of or I'm just finding it like It's supposed to be comfortable and safe for everyone. Yeah, no idea Now it is just comfortable to say. It's like saying like a roller coaster shouldn't have any dips in it. That could scare people. That's why you come to a comedy club so you can get fucking... You go, whoa! What's happening?

And then they ease it for you. And then that makes you laugh. Well, there was nothing always easy though. Well, he's on a good comment, but you can't stop mediocre comedians. You're with the respect. And to which might keep reading? Yeah. Oh, Jesus. What?

He's a new comedian. I think he's great. I've said he's great a bunch of times. Oh, I got it. With the added bonus of making a scene of someone dare to leave or show any negativity. Unlikely, I'm ever going to a comedy club again, based on this experience. Good. That's hilarious, because that's like going to a comedy club again based on this experience.

That's hilarious because that's like going to a movie and not liking it and being like I'm never going to the movies again. Wait, Louis' response is perfect because you're welcome. So he's saying that to me. Yeah, he's like, where's the thing? Thank you, Dan. Yeah, we're saying like I got rid of one for you. Yeah, fucking assholes. That's the way we should do it is get rid of these people clumps at a time. But I honestly, I do have this thing where I look down into the audience or if I'm watching another comedian on stage, I can really see it.

The audience has no fucking clue what's going on. Unless you're on the road and they've come to see you because they know you, just regular people come a lot of times. I don't think they understand what's happening. I think we're on somebody on their podcast, told me one time that they were to club where the owners, father, and mother passed away. He was on the mic saying, everybody come in, sit down, and then he started getting mad. He was like, sit the fuck down, everybody.

He got mad because his mother died and he was emotional. But I'm sure people in that audience were like, is he do that every time? Right. Is that a bit? Yeah. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, they don't know what's real, what's not real.

Well, I think people that are going to comedy now, I think that comedy is so saturated and so crystal-clean monologue safe on TV. Mm-hmm. Most of it is not fucking dangerous on TV 90% of it even the the specials aren't dangerous. They're safe and Because if they are dangerous they get completely Shat on well remember back in the day when comedy was like that and then all of a sudden Dice came out of nowhere and we're like what is that? Yeah, that's fucking crazy shit hickory dickory doc This chick was sucking my god. Oh

We were like what the fuck did he just say it was so Shocking that he became a rock star. We I think we might be heading in that way again Where we're gonna get so fucking clean. Yes, it's gonna reset. It's gonna reset. It's good, because it gets too dirty, and at one point, like racist jokes, we're fucking annoying. Or gay jokes sometimes I just be like,

oh my god, stop it. So it's good, cleanse it a bit, and then reset. Yeah, I think so, but it sucks to be in this time, because people that should never go to a comedy club are going. But they're still in the minority though. It's like one of these people. Yeah, but one of them can run a show. Fuck a whole show.

No, for sure. But it's not like a horrible time and the whole crowd is shaking their head. It's usually one fucking asshole. Yeah, but every couple shows. Every few shows. But a comic, I mean, I'll admit it for for myself is that I'll be doing a show killing and if I see one country face I'm like you you fuck everybody loves me if I see one country face. I think I'm doing pretty good tonight But you know what I'm saying you look under that of that crowd, you see that person not liking you.

What's your fucking problem? Well Sam Rill just had an incident downstairs. Did you hear about that? No, what? There's not the village underground. He does a joke about how he saved a rape one time by accident. A woman, he drank a woman's, a woman was getting what do you call it? Roofage. And then he drank the drink while she was going. And titled White Guy. And so drinking other people's drinks. And his joke is like, I have, so I have negative one rapes. And then this woman yells, you fucking suck. Rape is never funny and like stood up and caused a scene. And like she laughed.

And then like her friend came back and started yelling at Sam. Yeah. How does a friend get back? How does it, how does she just walk back into the building? How the fuck in? Well, because it's like like it's like dumb people with some kind of moral Thing going on. Yeah, right? It's like but they can't understand just cuz you say rapes

They think he's doing like a pro rape. No, that's what I'm saying But they don't know I think it used to be you like in the 90s You'd go on stage and the and the audience would assume you knew what was right and then you could do all kinds of wrong jokes Right, you know, and it was fine because they were like, okay, you're on the right you're not really racist or whatever You know that got tiring too, but yeah, and then now they don't even care at all if you actually think that stuff or not They just don't want you to say I think it depends on who it is though I mean he's look at Sam or Elle skinny white dude saying that Fuckin fuck you if you a black dude say I don't think she would have stood up. I don't know I agree with you on that not at all she would have let it slide, you know, but less and less than you think like now

I mean it's getting any man a... Any man is getting fucking... Yeah. It's getting fucked up. But, I mean, look. But maybe you shouldn't do rape jokes. I don't know. I don't know what the right answer is. You should know that the answer is absolutely.

You should do it. If you think it's funny, you should try it. If you're not coming from a malicious place and you're trying to write a joke about something that's funny, you should be able to say whatever the fuck you want. That's what we do. Because you don't know where that funny is going to... You don't know about something that's funny, you should be able to say whatever the fuck you want. That's what we do. Because you don't know where that funny is gonna, you don't know how healing that could be too. You could write a fucked up joke

about something crazy that happened to you. And all of a sudden, what difference does it make if you do it in a one-man show form or stand up comedy tempo? You know, it's like, so if I say, you laughed at this, you laughed at that. I made fun of this. And all of a sudden, when I said something that you didn't like, so if I say, you laughed at this, you laughed at that. I made fun of this. And all of a sudden, when I said something that you didn't like,

now you get to stand up. So what if everybody got to stand up on everything that maybe fucked them up a little bit? A fucked the day. A great, it's like you can't. Comedy's dead. Some people gonna have to just like, you suck it up a little bit.

This guy wore a hat. And the ordi, it wasn't't even the fucking on the show. What is proud boys by the way. It's a thing that Gavin McGinnis, it's a group of conservatives. It's conservatives and they, you know, they're just conservatives. They're right-leaning fucking conservative dudes and women and you know, they voted. They're not like pro. It's been.

What Nazi's? No, they're not. They're sympathizing, but they're not part of them. I mean, I think they are. They're the ones, the probably are the ones who started that tiki-tourch thing as well. But is Gab McGinnis? Yes. Is nothing Nazi? No, I'm saying that he that he is but a lot of people there's a lot of crossover and so i mean that i think that the antifa crosses over to democrats democrats on fucking antifa you know i mean those guys are

i don't know they cross over yet they do rantifa's voting democrat i think probably that what else about don't vote don't they out there like crazy fucking anarchists? Yeah, but yeah, but I, you don't see the second. Yeah, so I kill both those. Yeah.

The heads of both parties. Doesn't Dante near have a proud boy tattoo? By accident, he's... How do you get a proud boy tattoo? Is it really? Yes. How do you get a proud boy tattoo by accident? I mean, you should have him on and tell the story.

It's fascinating. It's a really amazing story about how he got involved in it. Because they use some of his ideas and stuff. Like Gavin McGuittis, I don't know. I don't want to say stuff like that. Right, you're gonna fuck it. But, pro-gun, pro-speech, anti-racism, anti-racial guilt, so they don't want to be racist, but they don't want to be racist. No, they want anti-racism anti-racial guilt so they don't want to be racist but they don't want to be

racist. No, they want anti-racism for white people. They don't want any more white racism. What's wrong with that? No, I'm kidding. No, I'm seriously. Why should I be any racism to anybody? That's the one thing I finally get. What's the bottom one there? It's reinstating a spirit of Western chauvinism. Yeah, that's where they get. Well, because first of all, I want that in a shirt. That sounds real fun. I'm in the housewife. I'm in the housewife. It's also part of us. I don't want to be that iterating me. They basically want women to want to be like the old 1950s housewives again. Well, the guy that McGinnis had me, I was booked to do his podcast. And then he sent me a clip of him on Fox. I don't know, he's being funny, I guess, to me. And it was him saying women should stay at home

or whatever with their kids or whatever. So I canceled the podcast. I have to take care of my kid. So that's great. I have to have dinner on by five. My husband gets home. Sounds like a lot of fun, but why are you a fucking great?

I mean, but I think what he's saying is that women want to be home with their family. Well, women too, but they also want other things, you know, well yeah, he hates that women are not having kids not being moms not being wives. But if I was a guy that like had close if I if I was a man who had someone you have Matt Damon's hair in the outsiders. But that was good this guy with me. Nothing, nothing, whatever. But that was good. I like it. Thank you.

No, because I do. I want to, like, I have dinner ready. I wish the guy. I like, I keep the house clean. The, the, the, the, yeah. Division of labor really is pretty traditional in our home. And if I had a husband, I'd be amazing. I would completely do things like this to keep it that way.

I mean, if I had a wife, if I was the husband, do you mean I'd be like, yeah, Western showman is a. Well, if Don was like, look, I'm not, I want to go to work. I'm not doing this. Fuck you. You have to help me do this. Like I told her with the laundry. She goes, you have to do you do you?

I'm not doing the laundry the way you want it done. I go, I won't do it that way. I won't do it either. You want me to do Don I'm not doing the laundry the way you want it done. I go, I won't do it that way, I won't do it either. You want me to do Don Drey? Hello folks, write that down as a title. Take that to a regular address. So you're saying you don't do it right, but I'm gonna do it worse, so you.

Here's what I'm saying, I'm not a Bob Drey. No, here's, hold that. No, here's what I'm saying. You say, I say to you Don Don, please do not dry my shirts in the dryer. Just hang dry them. Well, if you want to do that, you do it. And I go, I will not do it.

I will just hire somebody to do it. I'll just pay for it. Oh, maybe she's like, do it. I mean, a sundry. She's, I take my sundry with me every time I go on the road. Maybe that's why. I said, I'll just pay somebody to do it, because I'm not doing it. And she's I go out. I like that one. Good maybe. I said, I'll just pay something to do it because I'm not doing it.

And she's like, well, I'll do it. I'm like, you don't have to. But if you're gonna do it, fuck and do it the right way. But I mean, it's like, if you're gonna do it, this is the way I like it done. If you don't wanna do that, I'll just pay something to do it

because I don't wanna do it. I'm not gonna force you to do my shit the way I want it done. I will just pay for it to get done that way. Yeah. Look, if she, like, you know you sound like a cunt, right? Yeah, but it's not how do I sound like, explain it to me. Because, like, if you didn't want to do something, if me and you were married and you were like, because you make the money, because you get to go out and make the money,

because she's doing you a favor, you don't realize by raising your son day in and day out. That's what she's doing. Wait a minute, stop, stop, stop. For you. And you're saying to her, guess what? I'm in charge of the money. So if you don't want to do it, I'll go ahead and use my money any way that I want to,

but it's not really your money. But wait a second, wait a second. Both of you are saying. But absolutely, and if she said, I don't want to do laundry, I feel like baby, don't do laundry. I don't want to do laundry, I'd be like, baby, don't do laundry. I don't want to do this. I don't do that.

Don't do it. We'll get somebody to do it. I said, whatever you don't like doing attacks as you, let me know and we'll get somebody to do it, or we'll figure out a way. Because you're in charge of the... No. I don't touch the money, Bonnie.

I don't touch the money, Bonnie. I don't touch the money, Bonnie. I don't touch the money, Bonnie. I don't touch the money, Bonnie. I don't touch the money, Bonnie. I don't touch the money, Bonnie. I don't touch it in your life. I don't psychologically, you go, I go out and spend the money. I mean, I go out and make the money, right? I make the money, yes. Yes, but you don't take into consideration that, So what do you have me do? No, you tell me, tell me right now.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You're telling me. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. He's hurting everybody, sorry. This is the first fight we've ever had. Sunder, sorry, sorry. You're my first fight we've ever had. Sons are really. You're my wife.

You're my wife. Yes. And you say, I say, Bonnie, you can't shrink my shirts. And you're like, what are you going to say? Well, I'm not dangering you. Well, I'm no don. I would do what you told me to do. I'm.

Yeah, she's a con, too. What is it happening? I'm saying, the two of you. The two contes living together. No, but seriously, what would you have me do? But look, I want to, what would you tell me to do? I don't know. I mean, I guess you should go out and get someone to do it.

I'm not saying exactly, I'm not saying. The thing is the fact that you told that story is, means that you problematic. You think like, oh, I get to spend the money, however I want to. That's not true. That's not true. I said, I'm just not...

You feel though, probably a lot more connected to the money, because you're making it. No, I don't feel connected to my money at all. Unlike, maybe you guys, I come home, I give her the check. She tells me what I can do and what I can't do. If I want to buy something, I go, look, I want to get this. She's like, okay, she'll say, you don't need it. We're not getting it.

She's the one in charge. Right, right, right. So wait a minute. So you understand, she's the one in charge of the money, really, I don't give a fuck about money. You didn't say to her, hey, if you don't want to do it, would it be all right if I went and got someone to do it? What the fuck am I, pussy?

What are you, how do you mind? You got fucked out of here. Pace this guy. What would you do my eyebrows with a dog, little puppy too? Look at me, what am I doing? Honey, would it be okay if I, hang on. Would it be all right if you don't do it?

If I could paste some Chinese lady to do it? That's not your game, it. Joe, what? Joe, don't do that. Sorry, that's racist. That's not your game. No, don't do that. Sorry. That's racist. They're two. Listen to the ball. Oh, here in studio with the fuck that bitch. Nick dip that comp. Cause he went. Okay. No, I don't want to fight with you about it. But I, I know, but I'm listening to you. I will listen to you. I just don't understand why I have

to. I don't know. I might be wrong. But why would I have why I'm not listening to you, I will listen to you. I just don't understand why I have to. I don't know, I might be wrong. But why would I, I'm not forcing her to, I'm not like, well fuck you, and have an argument about it. I'm just like, I get it, I don't wanna do it either. It may, I guess initially when you told the story, it sounded like she's the maid, and you're like, hey, you better hang up these shirts, I don't wanna,

and then she's like, I don't wanna hang them up. And instead of you saying, all right, I'll hang them up, you're like, I'll pay someone, I'm a king. No, no, she, like I told her, I don't want to hang them up. And instead of you saying, all right, I'll hang them up, you're like, I'll taste them. I'm a king. No, no. She, like I told her, I go, why don't we just send the laundry out? Why the fuck do it? Yes, right.

I'm like, why even do it? Right. But she loves having a dryer. I mean, when I was, we got the house, she was like, I can't wait to pick my washer and dryer out. Like, I don't know what that is. She's old school. We have a maid.

I had a beg her to get a maid. I literally was like, please, you're working stop. Just get somebody to help you clean the house. We get a maid that comes in every other week. She cleans the fucking house before the fucking maid. But everyone does that. I mess the house up more. Yeah, I fucking spill shit I eat on the couch. You don't respect the maid. I know women first of all

First of all they're Mexicans and I do respect them No, I I just want to make sure she's doing her fucking job. Mike is right there He's a Mexican woman. I think I got my maid. That's all got this job actually He's fucking is a Mexican woman. How do you think I got my maid? Is that it? That's all I got. This drama, actually. I, yeah, I make a mess.

I'm like, they're coming in. I know, it makes more sense your way, but I don't know why. It's like, what is that? Well, psychologically, a woman are fucked up. Why? No, I don't know. We think about other people too much.

It's a shitty, shitty quality that we have. Is that embedded in you over years of the way men and when men and women are or is that something that's in women i've no idea I'm not a psychologist or scientist of any kind but I I do I think women care I think women have like a deeper sense of what someone else is feeling just and I have a theory about it on stage even but like it like a woman can tell like when she should leave the party like if she's not fucked up You know what I mean like she I love you to like caveat right in it. She's not fucking on Molly No, but you know you kind of you read the room

I think it's just a little bit better at reading if someone's pissed off her upset So when you're on stage doing send if you can tell that energy to a little more deeply maybe. I think that's just a stupid theory that I have and I have thousands more theories. I think that I am I can I can actually sense when the rooms fucked up but I think that I'm in touch with my feelings a little more than the average asshole. So maybe I'm a I so then that would speak more to my theories correct yeah because I always see these men I'm not gonna mention who they are, but they they make Sorry guys, I'm just gonna be supplying the puns

You don't like the stuff no I do I'm enjoying I know this like I'm a I'm a I'm like an alpha male I like alpha male shot, but I this certainly yeah To you Fag I Don't clip it on Lewis I didn't say Faggot you added Faggot I said fag sorry I think that certain guys though are so manly that I, and you're not one of them, you're not one of them. You're not even close to it.

Wait, wait, I'm a top. You're not a top, you're a side. I can't be that guy. I can't, I really would love to have that type of decision making and that type of always kind of serious fucking thought process. And analytical. I don't know, analytical but tough. It's a tough thing.

Right. And I just don't have it. I don't fucking have it. I get too silly. I do, I like silly shit. And then, but that, because I'm so emotional, I'm a fucking, I'm an open wound. Wow. Yeah, I just thought that you cry'm so emotional. I'm a fucking I'm an open wound. Wow

You cry I cry Man I cry so much now it sucks my wife came out Oh my god, yeah I was like I'm gay too And then we both hung the shirts in the backyard I'm gay too. And then we both hung the shirts in the backyard. Um, we, no, I remember she came on, and I was just looked at her, and I started crying

because I felt overwhelming, fucking love for her. I had a license to do it. So cute. Yeah, but it fucks me up because you can't, you did you have a really? Yeah, it's nice. It's a weird thing, right? I feel like a dream come true.

It's just buddy. But my girl does this. He's not doing it now. It's not it. There's a little thing, right? It's like a dream come true, it's just buddy. But my girl does this. He's not doing it now. It's not it. It's just a little my girl does, this is my wife does. Which fucks it up for me. She goes, aww. I know.

It's like you fucking asshole. You're supposed to do it back. Oh, well she's supposed to go, I love you too baby. But she's like, aww, like I'm a little puppy. Yeah, she's like solos. That's what's tricky, because you gotta be emotional and sweet and thoughtful and nice, but then you also have to fuck at some point.

Yeah, well, you got that because that's what I get afraid of. We're gonna be two buddies. Well, that's a couple of buddies and then I got a meat and a pussy and she's like this sucks. I got my husband, you know that it will happen anyway. I mean, you get to that point. It's like, you know, people who have like sibling like fantasies, they're gonna love being married. You know people who have like sibling like fantasies. They're gonna love be a married That level at some point Which one It's not for eating box. Fuck it. Idiot. You're supposed to see it. It's just versatile. Oh, what are you a fucking monster doctor?

Dude. Oh my god. But you never have it like on your chin. On your nose. I know I like I'm I just have this joke on my act with my therapist. Tell me you should just tell your wife that she hurt your feelings. Stop getting angry and I was like, you're an idiot. And I remember I did that once I was like, you hurt my feelings. She's like, I'm sorry. And I'm like, yeah, but it just hurts when you say that

and I got a real emotional. She's like, all right, I get it. But the joke was, all right, I get it, Fag relax. You don't even mean, but she was like, I get it. And I was like, not I'm sitting there like, I had to kind of get my manhood back. I was like, oh, fucking truck, you know, I'm gonna hit her to get it back.

I can't believe guys used to just hit him. That's just like phenomenal to me that just dudes. But we used to hit everything, I mean, not to like make it okay, but people used to be so mean to animals. Oh my God. Oh my God. But you never watch it. So we have, believe it or not, Twitter aside,

we have gotten kinder as a people, you know. Yeah, remember, if you watch a, if you watch a West, if you watch a Western, the way they used to treat horses and- I mean, unbelievable. Just kick a dog But it wouldn't be like a stunt dog. It'd be the real dog in the movie. He just fucking kicked it Well, they used to take I mean the way they used to train horses was they would just take a horse and tie and just whip the shit out of it

And have somebody sit on it and just whip it Break it. Yeah, you brought you a wife break it. Yeah, break your wife. Break your wife. Break your dog. That's how you get things, I guess, to do what you want to do. Break your wife for the dog. Someone sits on your whips and makes me eat my own comb, you know. What? While you're wearing a miner's light. What is wrong with you? I'm never done. I never. It's, it wrong. His range is really fucking unbelievable. If you think about it, he goes from puns to the dirtiest shit. The worst thing ever.

You don't know where he's going with this. It's all comedy. He's fucking he-ha, then HBO. Immediately. What the fuck? Did you ever watch the Deacon Jones video? I think we talked about it before. What's that?

Deacon Joe, you can pull it. That's a funny you to clip but basically his big move he's a defensive lineman his big move was he would slap a guy outside the head and that's like it's illegal now but he's talking really like uh... earnestly about it genuinely he's like any time you hit a man of our woman

upside the head that they get a little taste but he says it in the way he's being PC like he's it's the third one down there. Oh no that's not it. Dr. Jones has it. There it is. Wait this is a six minute clip though there's like a twenty second one. Yeah because I think we didn't people didn't care about life that much the way that we do now right. There it is the second one there. It wasn't so precious. I don't know. It's pretty great. Get it ready? The Deacon Jones. That sounds like a guy who hits women. Oh my god. It's a Deacon. And it remained on NFL films for like 25 years until finally someone was like you got to take this down. Right. Ready? Yeah.

Atkins flood of breaking arms was the reality of the Deacon Jones Ed Slap. The head slap was due to purposes. One was to give myself an initial head start on the fast ones. In other words, he acts the step. Because in the next time you go outside of man's head, or a woman, then they have a tendency to blink at you. Close your eyes. You go like this. Oh my God.

He says it like he's being inclusive. He's like a progressive guy Even called the equal rights Funny So bl blessed if you stand up. I'm just gonna look at the woman's sound back in person. You know, every old man, oh woman. Well, you get, but the thing is,

is that you don't even see sexism at some point when you're living in it. Like, people probably didn't notice that. No, they put that out. I mean, that was on the TV show for years. Nobody's stopped. It's so weird, even if you just go back to even like early 90s or 80s movies, how crazy some of the shit is.

Like in a romantic comedy, they'll slap a woman around, practically rape her, then she falls in love with the guy. You're like, this seems wrong. Seems a little wrong. Well, overboard was a hit. No, they're remaking it now, but that was a hit movie. And the whole movie is based on rape. Yes, it's a rape movie.

A romcom. It's a kidnapping rape movie. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. But they're remaking it now with a guy. Isn't it weird? They came out already. Yeah, but probably, I mean, you're kidnapping and raping a guy, right?

I don't know, I don't know what that was. Yeah, and a Ferris kid's absolute. And take some home. And just she seems like somebody with like a real life. Yeah, she was crazy, I was a little bit. Is that what's his name's ex-wife? Chris Pratt. Oh, Chris Pratt, well. Yeah, she was crazy. I was a little bit. Is that what's his name's X wife? Chris Pratt. Oh, Chris Pratt.

Well, she's funny though. Fucking dude, her and the Brian Reynolds movie, Jess Friends. Oh yeah. She's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I've never seen them. You never saw Jess Friends. No.

Oh my fucking God. You don't bring it up. You just watch it. I'm gonna watch the whole movie. I'll just watch it tonight. Guys, relax, get some popcorn. Who, what's your name on the couch? Chris, Chris, what's up Chris?

How you doing buddy? We have a new, we're trying guests again. Yeah, we're easing it in. We're easing it in. I feel like the last time I was here, you were like, we're trying guests again and they killed two people. And now?

What? So, on the show. killed two people. And now? What? So what? On the show. They killed people? Yeah. There was some knife play, and I think you said, no, I'm not going to do it again. Here we are back guests.

Yeah, Anna Ferrison, that move was fun. You've got to see that move. I like that you don't get what I'm doing. I don't know. I don't know. I'm just moving around. It's like Bobby hit the skip on that one. I don't know how to do this one.

I can't do that. My eye is red, it's hurting now. I can't stop thinking about my eye. Just Joe brought it up. Probably nothing. It looks better now. All right, well thanks. Thank you very much.

Yeah, you're good. I probably, did I run poo in it? I don't know. I can't even get rid of it. Oh, you could get really sick of you to that. I get worried about poo having a kid. Oh, yeah. You don't want to get poo inside of you.

You want to have it inside of you, just your poo. Not only your poo. Well, if you put other people's poop in you, it can change your stomach bacteria. Yeah. What? That's one of the things they do if you have shitty microbes or something.

What? Your gut floor is bad. Thank you for giving us. Why are you not? Did you swallow somebody's poo? No, they don't swallow it. They put it inside you They inject it. You're asking It's like an opposite of a the other. Yes They put someone else's shit in you somebody who has good

Flora good shit. So they push shit into your ass. Oh, yes, and then it changes your gut Plankton. I don't know what the words are. Oh, come on with the pictures. So what is that? It's a picture. It's not even supposed to. So let's say you're, are you on a stomach medication, Bobby? No, no, why would you assume that?

Why would you say it? No, because we're in a church. That's what it is. It's like, and you got to, he's got to take all this, like. I don't take anything. It's like, he's like 18 18 million somethings a day or something. Right? Do you know what I'm talking about?

Yeah, he does take a lot of pills. They're trying to get me on heart medication right now. Wow. I have slightly high blood pressure. Oh, they want you to change it all on your own. Yeah, they want you to be part of the fucking house. You're getting on the cycle and you're not going to be able to get off. You won't be able to get off. What do you mean?

Stay away from their food and stay away from their drugs. Yeah. And the blood is high. They're going to want you to be the blood of the eye. What are you talking about? The pharmaceuticals, dude. The fermint. Yes.

You know what? You know what people say? Oh, vegan, you're not a bad-ass. I am a bad-ass because I fucking hate that they think they're tricking me. And I'm not going to do me and I'm not gonna do it I'm not gonna eat their fucking poison food. What is it poison food, Bonnie? All of it. Whatever you know meat dairy Wheat is it poison?

Yes, it's poison. What are you talking about? What's going on? I'm sorry I get what do you know? Please talk to me. What are you talking about? They've the food is poison the bre's poison. You don't eat bread Monsanto, Monsanto look it up. Do you know need bread? No, no at all And it's one of my favorite things in the world. I think of it like what do you eat like a man alcohol? What do you eat? What do you mean? What do you have to eat like what you what you have a lunch? I had um some avocado. Oh oh I had a pomegranate plate, not the bread. You didn't need the bread?

No, the whole foods. No, I'm fucking so embarrassed I've gotten into this. You have no rice, no rice, you don't eat rice. No, I do eat rice. You have rice. No pasta. No pasta. Joe, you can't.

Yeah, you can. I mean rice? Yes. No pasta. No pasta. Cho. Yeah, you can. I mean, I'll have gluten free. Gluten free pasta. Gluten free pasta. So you don't eat gluten? I could have anything I want.

It's not because of a gluten sensitivity. What happened to the palms of your hands? Oh, that's... You jerked off a cow? Why? A cow's a girl. Sorry. We're milking a girl cow?

Fucking asshole. Buddy guy. When you come take my boot camp. What's your boot camp? Do you have a smart boot camp I can take? Why we should ban livestock. Listen to me. Why?

Why you don't want to eat cows? Well, it's not. If you had a cow in your backyard that you fed I love a good old self-deprecating fat joke My excited down I write too much laughing What it's not the carious What? It's not the car. It's a... I'm sorry, buddy. Good.

Fucking... Bonny, good. You want to get poisoned by your fucking government? You go ahead. I'm not. I stepped off the treadmill, buddy. I ain't going to get on the treadmill. Is there a gluten-free treadmill I can get on? Wait a minute, you tell me I don't have to use the treadmill. I there a gluten-free treadmill I can get up? Wait a minute, you tell me, I don't have to use the treadmill. I'm fucking in. Get off the treadmill.

I'm in, I'm in. So, I've been thinking about this. I want to, last year when I went to, where the fuck did I go? Belgium. Oh, sure. Their food was so clean, so good, so healthy. Even their shit food didn't make me feel like shit. Yeah. And I saw their government probably isn't

poisoning them at the rate of government. Well, you can't have put any of this stuff that we put in our, it's in none of it. And they're, everything's real small. Like they're like the grocery stores are small. Their fridge is small. They eat for two days, they shop for two days, they eat it and then they go shopping again. We go shop for a month. You know what I mean? And it does, I came back, I was like, how does, how does meat stay for so long? How does the, you know, how does the turkey stay? How does all the stuff like last so fucking long? It should be just killed yesterday and eaten the next couple of days,

but it's in Texas or somewhere killed and shipped and frozen and shit's put in it and steroids and all this food. Yeah, it's that putting so much shit in your food. It's crazy. Sodium. Yeah, I think I would love, I wish I had the power to fucking be a vegan.

You don't have to be a vegan, but it's... I'm sorry, I'm in gay. I wish I had a cock in my ass. That's my song! That's my song! I'm sorry. How did you learn that? I wish I had a cock in my ass.

No, I wish I had the power to... Vegan is so... But you don't have to be a vegan, but you can just go whole foods, I mean. What's whole foods the store, or? No, but literally when they don't have to be vegan, but you can just go whole foods. I mean, what's how like whole foods the store or no, but literally when they don't process it, you have a much better chance of eating something. So no meat. Well, you can get, you can go to somewhere and get meat that's like you, I'm sure there's

somewhere near you that has like where you can get half a cow. Yeah. You stop saying cow and looking at me like that. Well, people don't generally get whales to eat. Ha ha ha. Hey, well in Norway. I guess it's really bad after. Did you really well?

Yeah. How was it? It was like leathery. It was black. Yeah. Yeah. Really? I ate reindeer and whale in the same sitting and then I shit

Brown and black. I ate a reindeer sausage in Alaska and I threw up immediately I just didn't I just I don't know if it was bad I just kept thinking reindeer and I just was like who looks taste different. I think I want to I think I do Santa's gonna be a little slower this year My favorite voice you do by the way. That's the one she does when Voss is telling a story. And she would, oh, here it goes. The body is thinking the world. All right. Now, if you have been caught up, he's talked about golf. I believe this was the end of act one. I believe this was the end of Act One. I shut up, Bonnie.

That's not good. That's a pretty good boss. It's a little different. I like to go a little... I like Keith too. Yeah, I like that much. You're face. I don't know if I could become a vegan.

I just don't know. I think I would weigh over it. It'd just be me and a fucking, like a fucking huge bowl of rice just shoveling it into my face. I'm not suggesting that you do it for any other reason than to say to your fucking government. No. No, I won't be tricked like this.

I'm gonna take a control of my own life. My Italian? What was I for? With my family? I'm gonna take a tutorial of my own life my name is a Joseph be we think we're gonna be killed by the terrorists from the outside But we're being killed from the inside. Don't you see who's that? I got I got Bamford a get the yeah, I got very bang for the I liked it I

Mean yeah our government is fucking I I guess, putting shit in. That's those documentaries on Netflix. Always scare the shit out of me at fucking two in the morning. Because he was talking about documentary on me. You want to eat, you said documentary on me. We eat you on eat. Because then you guys see a documentary on the dangers of documentaries. Is that what you're trying to pice that up for him?

It is no way he got that out. He got the first two in the last one. Wait till you see one, there's gonna be one on a show. You mean, documentary? Yeah, you know what I meant. I think I did a respectful boss without you. That was pretty good, right? Yes. Yeah, I think that it's weird because you do go to other countries and

have to shit we put in our food is illegal. You cannot put it in. I remember in Belgium looking at like the difference between there was a kid snack over there as opposed to his snack over here. There was just three ingredients over there. Yeah. And there was 15 over here. Yeah. And my wife was like I, because Donald tries to keep up on that shit. But it's like trying to get your kid not to watch TV all the time. Everyone's in a while,

like just turn the fucking TV on. Right now, I mean, just go fucking. Go days. You're gonna be paying out with your kid all day? No. No. You're gonna say you can't.

Don't you feel guilty? I don't let my kid do more than 12 hours a day. Digital stuff. 12 hours? It's almost bedtime, kiddo. I put that down. You forget her eyes are just going up and down. Are you going to have kids, Joey?

No, you ask me this a lot. And then I say no. And then you go, dude, when you have kids, you're going to be able to do. We're out. Well, I do sometimes feel like I wouldn't want to tell someone to have kids But I do sometimes feel bad that they can never know what we know yeah, like you're true love. Yeah, yeah What a kid looks like naked

Wow, you could know that someone's gonna get you for the first 11 years dark web life Well, there's something I mean max my. Doesn't he think you're the funniest? He's the best he actually. Yeah, he's just I have fans to think I'm funny though Yeah, but those were way but you don't wake up with them in the morning you don't they don't run in the room and curl up And you neck and go dad. I love you. Yeah, and then give you a kiss in the cheek That's sweet and then you wipe it away. I'm hungry I want to go camping too! Alright, relax. Don't worry about me.

I didn't bring you in. I'm a real one. The fuck, man. You could have just had to go and poop on the neck. That would have been enough. I would have shit on my neck at the Bon Jovi concert. What? And Gabby got his tickets to the Bon Jovi concert.

We're literally side stage. Side stage, Bon Jovi maxes on my neck. Just fucking singing, you know, fucking devil hands. He's having a blast. And then I smell poop. Oh, yeah. I'm like, did you poop? He's like, yeah.

On my neck? Yeah. I just didn't smell my neck until I got home. Oh, cool. I was like, honey, smell my neck. She's like, oh. But yeah, she took me right into her father's dressing room.

Right with her on stage, I cleaned his asshole, rolled everything up on a towel and threw it in his father's barrel. Oh my God. With the underwear too. Some poor guys are gonna find kid underwear with shit and some rock and roll guys fucking dressing room. Like, you know,

I'm gonna get an article about it. Yeah, evidence. It's gonna be an evidence. Oh my God. Fuck me, whatever. Well, when you watch other parents do it, it seems, it looks like hell. Like, when you watch another parent, like carrying that car seat, you know, thing, you're like, oh, gross.

But when you're doing it, it's not that bad. Well, it is fucking hell. It's bad. Flying with a fucking child is a nightmare. I don't even know how the caughters ever did it like Tom Caughter and Carol Oh my god, I think about that too. I don't know how they fucking do that But sir, but go and I have teenagers. They're jerking off and all their stuff. Yep That's way better you get their own bathroom. They're not jerking off on your stuff. They're jerking off their own stuff. I Guess I jerked off in two shirts and socks,

and then threw them in the laundry. You're a piece of shit, you're kidding me. I was a kid. I know, but now do you think back and think, like, oh, my mom knew. Of course, my mother was handling my cum, it's terrible. But why, I don't understand why you're... Maybe that's why guys are just more entitled

than women. That's like a good place where it starts. But like I could just jerk off into something my mother will take care of. The woman in my life has always cleaned up my comb. If you don't do it, I'll pay somebody to do it. But now I want to eat my own comb, you know? Oh, here it goes.

It's the second joke on Friday night. Oh, I fucking love it. Yeah, I think that, you know, I don't know why guys, I never jerked off into socks, or underwear, or shirts. I just jerked off into socks or underwear or shirts I just jerked off into a napkin and then I cleaned it up or jerked off on me and I wiped it up But the napkin you have to go get the napkin. I don't have to walk into the kitchen with my parents No, for my business right next to a sandwich. I mean you wouldn't wait till after work. Everybody stepped on that Not everybody, Mike. Don't say everybody Mike stepped on it. All right. There you go. I'm sorry. He said it

What were you gonna say Mike? What was your joke? I just didn't wait you didn't wait till afterwards. That was terrible Yeah, it wasn't worth it. Yeah, it was isn't great But at least it came right on the heels of a good one. Yeah, we'll try it again Yeah, Bobby, would you have to go into the kitchen to get a napkin? I Don't get it wait what we're trying to reset up your joke all i said bobby has was right next to a sandwich that was all that was it uh... i'll have a little hurt at the first one i uh...

i know you don't have to go on the part of her show you go and you get some napkins why why you get napkins bob bobby why you get napkins right now get on my mom we don't know my fucking napkins Did I just buy a bunch of napkins the other day? Yeah Squam Lake in the hamster

My friend Lynn you know Lynn Shaw grubbed. I don't know she's always have a crush on you You know Lynch all craft. I don't know. She's always has a crush on you Tell her I'm a Christian. I'm a rose. Tell her I love her. Oh my god. But she's a funny thing. She's like a crush plan. Bring up Lynn. Let me see what it looks like. Like a like a she was married to Mitch had bird. Oh, yeah, I do know she's yes. She's great. So She doesn't really do stand up that much but she's very funny. Mike doesn't understand when I go go. Yeah And he's doesn't he's like so you don't have to bring it up no bring it up Don't like my swore has come

Yeah, what are you doing? No, we got a guy who does that don't do it Forget it my shop the movie's The moment the moment Anyways, she used to do this thing like a. She used to do this. Oh, yes. Yeah, a guy that has somebody in their back shed and the wife doesn't know, and I was like, what happened to that old mattress that we had? I don't know.

Why is her blood on the towel? I don't understand. Why are the kids naked in the shower together again? Yes, oh my God, that's funny. Who's the girl in the way back? That's Morgan Murphy. Oh, I love him, oh. She have a red sash around her way.

I know. What if she a fucking, a three musket tier? I don't know. I don't know what year that is, but that's kind of it. Morgan's hilarious. You don't, you don't, you go. So what'd you do? I would go in bed right here. Here's your gauf. Nobody's in the you don't, you don't. So what did you do? You went to Chicago.

I would go in. All right, here's the jerk off. Nobody's in the kitchen. Nobody's in the kitchen. Why is she in the kitchen? She doesn't stay in the kitchen. She's a one man. All right, so.

But also, can we just plug the rows? Yeah, we'll go plug the rows. We, did you go in the kitchen? You grab a bunch of paper towels. Like four. So nobody's in your kitchen. Nobody's in the kitchen. Nobody's in the hallway, the living room. Nobody's there.

And you know what you can do, too, when everybody's out one day, you can just go get a roll and put it in your room. And you mother will know what it is, and leave it there. Instead of, I mean, of course she wouldn't. Oh, I don't have to touch his gizz shirts. I would go and get paper towels when I could. Because she was good. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, You know good you know it fucking peppy on yeah Sometimes I'm in my bedroom and my father and mother are out in the kitchen So you know what you post-pone jerk it off. No, you don't you can't post-pone jerk it off when you're young

Yeah, she can it wasn't until like two years ago. I stopped jerking up that much I used to fake shits to jerk off like I gotta go take a shit you jerk off like you know Like play like we're in yeah, like if we're all hanging out right here Oh my god, and then you have to god. I'm gonna ask you this. I want you to answer me honestly. Have you ever jerked off in this studio bathroom? No. Have you ever taken a shit here?

I've never done either. Both of those things seem equally bad. I think you'd be better off going. I'm gonna go jerk off. No, that's not so pretty. I've been, well, I've been taught you how you're shit. Yeah, you're a woman. You shit fast, you flush right away,

then you do the rest of your business. I took flush again. I think the best shit ever is when you... How does shit in pop? When you don't hear the, when you don't hear it coming out, you just hear the plop. When it's just plop, like it comes out so quick and easy. And it's, I don't like it when it's that fast.

I like to enjoy a little bit of it. Yeah. Like a nice long slow. Ah, oh, oh. Like a fucking rope. Yes, yeah. I don't. Like the squatty potty shit.

When you can feel it like wrapping around itself like an ice cream cone. Yeah, this is gonna leave a mark. I like when the consistency is not moist, not dry, it's like clay-like and it comes out and no, you can't hear it coming out of your asshole. It just goes Like a baby coming like a flop. Yeah, like a baby. That's a baby comes out. It's fucking I like a little bit of a scratchy poop sometimes What do you mean?

That feels good What do you mean a scratchy poop? You never had a scratchy poop? Like too much rough edge and then it's like ah, it kind of like it hurts too much Rough edges really a thing that Bobby's experiencing. No. You can experience some roughage. What do you mean, like, I'm almost rough you up. Oh, rough housing.

Yeah. It's like a body scrub, but for the, you're inside. Have you ever, I do like... It's exfoliating. Yeah. Yeah, I'll exfoliate. Sesame seeds, it's good, because it scrapes everything on the way through.

Yeah, it's bad though, because it gets stuck. Sesame seeds get stuck in your colon, and a lot of people get that fucking shit disease. What's that called? Oh, we've done a lot of shit stuff to learn what I'm live on the podcast. What's up, baby? Oh Nothing I was gonna say hi. How is everybody? Everybody's good. We're In the middle of it. We're talking about poops Everybody's good. We're in the middle of it. We're talking about poops. Those shirts, I got shirts done yet. That's a fun conversation. I told Bonnie when you, I told Bonnie at the time when you were like, I go look at it. I don't want you to, I want you to hand gram my shirts because that's, and you were like, I'm not doing it. You do it. And I said, well, I'm not doing. I'm going to pay for it.

And then you were like, I'll fucking do it. Yeah, and then I still get accused of shrinking your shirts. That's just because I'm fat and I'm insecure. I used to have that joke. I used to scream and I don't want to let it go. You shrunk my shirts and she was like, did I shrink the bed in the car too? That's how it's all right. Don't laugh.

All right, cool. You with the kid? Yes, we're on the swings. We have the Mr. going and Max had a great day. So that's what I was calling for. I'll be home by 8 o'clock, OK? OK, perfect. Bye, Don. I love you.

Bye, Don. Everybody said bye. Everybody said bye. Bye. Everybody loves Don. Bye. Bye, Max. Bye, Max.

Bye. Max sounds like you're what. Yeah, we don't have a kid. Bye Max. Hi Max. Max sounds like your wife. Yeah, we don't have a kid. We rent a kid. Is it due to the oppression anymore? Yeah, I mean, rent a kid. Have you ever physically fought with Vos? No.

Never? No. Yeah, me and Don did. What? No, don't say that on the air. No, we did. I, I, uh, she, no, I did what no, well, don't say that on the air. I She no, I did a joke about it. It's a long time ago. Yeah, I was we were we were in Culver City NLA and

It was you know, whatever we're fighting about something pre kid pre kid way pre kid pre dogs. Wow and What was that? Sorry. I was cooking, I was barbecuing chicken and she said something to me, really, Tawati. And I was like, listen, I'm just gonna do, and then I said something back to Adi and we were in this fucking argument.

But I was holding this piece of raw chicken in my hand. I know, you threw it at her. Well, I went to throw it off the balcony. Because we had those LA shit balconies when you move in. We have a balcony and you never use it and it's just just a shit balcony that nobody ever used. So I'm on, I'm like, fuck chicken. And I went to throw it and it slipped.

And it literally landed flush on her cheek. And it made that sound. Wow, you're the Deacon Jones of comedy. And then it slipped down her face. And I was like, I was like, I was like, baby, I didn't fucking mean to hit you with, I immediately was like, that probably felt exactly like your sweaty hand.

I remember she went, she called me kid. She went kid and I fist balled up and she came at me. Oh my God. Yeah, she had three older brothers, they're all six four. They used to beat the shit out of her all the time. Right. You can't, you can't make my wife tap. Like I've tried to make her tap like, bend her arm and we'd be wrestling with him. And she's like, no, fuck you. It's not happening. Go fuck yourself. You guys tell me you have a healthy relationship. Yeah. We do. We do. But I remember I was on

top of her and I was holding her down. I'm like, she's like, get off me, kid. I'm like, stop calling me, kid. I love you. I fucked up. I did. She's like get off me kid. I'm like stop calling me kid. I love you I fucked up. I did she's like get the fuck off me kid. It was like fighting a kid from South Oh my god. Yes, I'm not gonna do nothing kid get off. Nice swear to God. Come here. Yeah, I'll fucking murder you She's thinking where's the baseball bat? Oh, she yeah, she's a tough kid. That's the only time we were fun Well, it was a great story and And I feel like it's empowering. Don't love people. Yeah, what are you gonna do?

You should hit your wife. I am not kidding. Are you never hit a guy ever? I mean, this is, when I was, you know, in my early 20s, I was living in Toronto and we would have like fights in the backyard with guys would come. Well, I mean fights in the backyard with guys would come. Well, I mean, it was just...

Guys would come? I mean, guys would come over and they'd be like, you know, I don't think any of the girls were there, but I would, you know, it was like comics and we get drunk and we fight and stuff. It was very Canadian. What is Canadian is fighting? Yeah, and then I would, you know,

I would get my face just pushed into the ground sometimes Oh, it's a fantasy. Wait a minute. Then I'd be in the shower. I would be like, oh, fine, then I'd go in the shower and cry. What the fuck? Wait a minute.

Yeah, it was a lot of fun. First of all, I accidentally threw chicken at my wife's face and I have a healthy relationship. And you're getting your face mushed in the dirt. Yeah, but this is just drunken. I mean, we were loaded. I don't know how much we could drink a lot. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's a lot when you mush a girl's face in theunken. I mean, we were like loaded. I don't know how much we could drink a lot. Oh yeah, it's a lot when you mush a girl's face and it turned.

I mean, it was like aggressive. We're just getting her, my aggression's out. Like, fuck, what's the weird? Yeah. What is up with Canadians? I don't know. It was like, and there was like no punching or anything, so more like wrestling.

She was mushing. Yeah. Wrestling and then, yeah, like a little bit of rape. rape and no, there was no rape. Don't make fun of rape. No, you're right. I'm not fucking believable. Gabby, you ever hit anybody?

I'll take over for a minute. She's never hit no. No, no. But people used to fight all the time on the Jersey Shore. Yeah. Yeah, she's from the Jersey, she's Jersey trash, but she's not trash. Right.

I think I say it in certain ways. A trashy, but you hide it well. Okay, thank you. Yeah. You do. You do. You're very happy. You're very you're not an asshole. Jersey trash. You're not a dick. You're not violent. Don't you think no state has gotten a worse rap than Jersey? Yeah. It's so stereotyping. Well, it's the one below us. It's the only one. Florida's actually shitty. But like New Jersey is like, people have no idea.

Most of the country that New Jersey is like a beautiful state. Like the Jersey Shore is like spectacular. And there's like these great state parks and there's great artists from there. Most people have either been on the highway or they know it from the TV show. More like the sopranos. Yeah, my favorite crowds of Jersey.

I love Jersey. It's great. But like Florida's actually, I mean, there's great parts of Florida, obviously. But there's a bunch of fucking garbage in Florida. Well, I think that Jersey got a bad rap back in the 70s. You know, what exit, all that horse shit, the way, you know, because there really isn't.

There's no picturesque way to get into New York, or get, like you have to go pretty far before it's like, oh, okay, you know, it just looks like stacks of fucking. Yeah, it looks like shit. It just looks like a factories and roads and highways and toll booths and, and then you get off, and then a few minutes later, you're in these neighborhoods that are beautiful and, you know, nice,

but yeah, it looks like, when you everybody's like forget about it stuff like New Jersey And you know what my neighbors sound like what would you like to come in for some tea? So That's not My town's all Guitos though for sure like big Mobbie Kultnack and New Jersey all Staten Island She gets in weirdos, but I can't go that seems unfair. No, I'm just saying that to enhance your joke. Oh

Whatever you want. Oh great. Yeah, whoa. That 11 It's a different people that's wrong. That's right. I Just kidding everybody. So it's all it's all getting waps yeah Yeah I'm one of all I can't it's my grease ball. I'm Irish Italian. Oh, all right. The fuck I can say it She was a medium dick. Hello folks. I do Hello, I'm a medium is my I'm gonna say it Max, but why do you have an any? I'm kidding. I'm gonna say it, Maxwell, why do you know any?

I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, Gabby went, I'm saying I got my belly button. It was my pack, you grew up with all trash, but how did you, how did you come out like this? I am trash, it's just hidden behind. A blonde fairy goddess vegan princess

Sure Are you vegan? Yeah, oh my god You guys are fucking excited She why are you vegan? What is what are you gonna say it like that? I want to know I like to know why people choose things I really think it's cuz you love animals You get this 11 though right here. This little angry 11.

Like why are you? That's the age. I can't be so slow. How old are you? Why would you ask me that? Then you're a dick. What are you 20s 27? Yeah.

35. Mm-hmm. Hey 35. Yeah. You got it. Nice. You look beautiful. Thank you.

You did. You're you really age well. Well, I met you. You're just an okay check. And now you're a sexy woman. Oh, thank you. Isn't that good? I don't know. So why are you a vegan teller? I have a very Jewish stomach. It's easier to be a vegan. What? And I watch a lot of documentaries too. And I was like, and since it was all right, it's like you're allergic to somebody,

you get to go around and be morally superior. Yeah, I like the status. It really is a fucking shit move. When somebody's like, I'm a vegan, I'm like, you're better than me. You can just not eat things. You can just stop eating stuff.

And Vos is a vegetarian, right? No, he eats a chicken. Chicken and turkey. And turkey burgers. And his dick on stage. Hello. He also eats a soft shell crab. I know I heard about that. You don't like soft shell. It's so disgusting. Why? I mean, do I should I do the joke? No, do whatever you want. Do it. No, I mean, go ahead. Eat the whole crab. The shell and everything. everything I just you know, it's one thing to eat a living thing It's another thing to eat a house What are you a Viking? Why don't you rape its mother while you're at it? It's too much we're Americans. When is this to do that?

to my were Americans, and I was to do that. I'm gonna have a stroke. What is that? I'm sorry. It's just that it's on silent, but the who's calling it flashes. I don't know how to get a lot of alerts. Oh, really?

What is it for your Democratic party? And you're vegan cult at your head? I got some news. I love it. Guys, they just, they just ship cattle. There's a new shipment of beef coming in this Wednesday. We must attack. Do you hate people with fur or is it stuff?

No, I don't have, I don't have any personal thing with anyone in that way. So you don't mind as killing the animals. You just don't like the things. I even have like a weird thing about like trophy killing because I, first of all, my family, you know, my dad's a hunter. There should be trophy, trophy wife killing. If everyone, if everyone, you know, my dad's a hunter. There should be trophy wife killing.

If everyone, if everyone, if I have that, what? Oh, there's a terrible. I don't even have it as a piece of material. It's like, please. I thought it was his joke. Yeah, I was like, I was trying to be a Joe joke. Trophy wife killing.

And it really flopped on me. Apparently, you have to have a small mouth and have those glasses to have them be funny. Go ahead. But there were some trophy killings that are actually good for society What? well they they Like sometimes they want certain animals to in Africa, let's say yeah, they'll be like a I don't know. I say I listen to a podcast about it. It's pretty fascinating. It's not as simple as you think

Yeah, well what do you or the problem with CISL was that, CISL? Yeah, CISL. The lion. The dentist, that was my dentist. It wasn't they killed a lion. It was that the guy was like, hey, there's that protected one that's bigger.

I want that one. And they've leared it off the, whatever. They're off the, off the, uh, but they give a lot of money to preservation's, preservation, to hunt these animals that are, you know, on their last legs or whatever I don't know it's very complicated

I thought you hated preservation in our food the smartest man in the world I'm a trophy wife didn't go over but that did um I thought you I don't think I question it just keep moving everybody I don't think they should fucking kill. I know, I know, this trophy killing shit. I mean, it seems disgusting, I agree. Guys who go out and kill and eat what they kill, I'm fine with. I think that would be a better system if you had to kill the...

Like, if you say, it's people hate hunters and they hate, like, they're so against it, but they still eat meat. I feel like that's so hypocritical. It's like if the guy is killing it on his own, they're like, I'm gonna kill him. I think that would be a better system if you had, people hate hunters and they hate, like they're so against it, but they still eat meat. I feel like that's so hypocritical. It's like if the guy is killing it on his own and eating it, it's almost better.

Yeah, I feel like if you kill it, you have to eat it. That way, there would no one kill an elephant. You'd die. Right, you have to eat that. You have to eat that. For like three years. And that's like, just sitting there on the dirt, eating the elephant.

There's like a woman with a whip. Come on. That's why every Christmas, he gave us elephant again. Oh my god. He's horrible. He's such a bitch. Yeah, I don't believe, you don't have to kill a fucking elephant.

You don't have to kill a lion. You don't need a statue in your dumb house. Go to the museum. Right, I mean, the people that want to do it, that's the craziest mentality in the world that they're like, what are you doing? Happy doing it and they're proud of it and they... Because they want to do it because it's supposed to be dangerous

because it's supposed to be they could get killed too. But let you do it. What's all of them do? Yeah, but the odds are in their favor. Right, remember your guns. Okay, if you went out into the jungle by yourself without any fucking local dudes with a gun and you are hunting a lion down that was in his prime. Okay, okay, maybe I would be like

all right you're a fucking you really. You're gonna give him a gun or he doesn't even get a gun. I think he should have to just go in there. He has to make a weapon with like a like a Swiss army knife. Right. He has this is what you got you got like this knife. Yeah yeah and then you could go in there and see if you can kill a lion I yeah why the fuck do you need to what do you need a lion in your living room what the fuck is that well bull rap bull uh fighting is the same thing a little again it's it's like why let's stop doing they poke they poke them with the knife they kill them they fucking murder bulls in front of people and people go nuts. Well, they do eat it afterwards.

No, I know they eat it, but the way that, I mean, you don't know, bull fighting should be a rap too. I mean, come on, Spain. Get it together. You don't have to fight. I mean, you know what I'm saying? Like football. I mean, football's gonna be a rap soon too.

You can't just have guys colliding their heads and fucking jumping off buildings when they're 30s. They're choosing to do it. The animals aren't choosing when they're 30s and to do it. The animals aren't choosing. I know they're choosing to do it, but they're really not, because they need the money, and that's what they do well, and they want to support their families. And they love it.

And isn't it weird that it took this long for us to realize, like, oh, you can get a head injury this way. Like, we knew, we just didn't realize what it did to you. Yeah. You, the guy was knocked out for eight minutes on the ground And we're watching Doritos commercial. Yeah, is he back up and he holds a finger up like yeah, you know like he's okay And we're like cool get another one in there. Yeah, you know, I'm just fucking crazy. How do you feel about the horse and carriages in New York? My wife hates them my wife really just fucking hates them, but I

Feel like they they get a sense of purpose. I mean, they're not killing them. And I don't see them whipping the horses, they're treating them. Oh, they are. They're not the way they used to. You know, I mean, they're treating the horses. No, like it's a John Wayne Western.

They're... Man, I watched, I watched, I think around five westerns the other night I went on this fucking Clint Eastwood I watched three John Wayne movies. How come they don't make westerns anymore they don't because the animal thing I can do three-tend to you man that was a while ago that was great and Kevin Costner's got because you can't make a western anymore because they always have to add political correction to it and. And back then, the

West was the fucking dangerous. And it was racist and fucking they shot Indians and they had Chinaman as slaves and black people as slaves. White people fucking hit women. And you got raped and murdered. What was the one on HBO? Oh, I love that. Yeah. Deadwood was, I mean, that was, that was going to be a movie. They're making it into a movie. That was, that was kind of what it was back then. And that was shocking when you watch it. Like, oh my God. What a great show now.

Yeah, you can't, now they have to add some, they always have to throw their fucking twist into it that stinks, you know. Yeah. I love Westerns. I told you, I had a psyche tell me I was, I don't like when you perk up? You both you and was this going how can I make fun of this? I got a couple of I know I know

I got a couple of bullets in the chamber. I was I was alive back in the old West. What I Was alive. I have always who to hold you this? Let's just go back a bit. I was always felt like I had some connection to the West. Uh-huh. When you lived in LA, you mean? No. I've always felt like I- There was a steer that you were in love with.

I was, he's parked up to we got the fucking long home and he did ball so on the couch fucking parked up to wait what are you talking about I don't know you're talking about I'm I'm I've always felt like I've I've lived in the West I've always felt like I live you did you lived in Culver City the story you're gonna joke dummy you already did it I know I'm doing it again. I was said I lived in the west the west the old west. Oh the old west like 18 18 16 Oh, a boss country. Sure. This is a boss country. I always felt like I lived in the old west. Yeah. What does that mean? No, you felt like a cowboy or an outlaw.

I felt like I lived in that time. But you don't have any further recollections in terms of like... ...recollections. Like in a past life you mean? Yes! What about it? Were you a car player? I explained it to you.

No, no, no. You keep repeating the same sentence over and over again. You're saying like it's a normal thing to say. Like I would've felt like I was in Paris. I was like, in Paris to the psychic, it should make sense. I think I have shit in my eye. Um, in context to the sentence, right? To the psychic.

To the psychic. I had a psychic tell me that I lived, that I was. When she said it boom, you were like, it makes sense, I've always felt it. I, I, I actually, she said, Yes, you know what I've been felt it. I actually, she said, Yes, you know what have been good there. Okay.

Let's get some clarity here. So. Oh, you're making my tits wet. I, yes, she said you had a past life. You lived, I had a friend who committed suicide back in. A whole area. A whole area. A whole area.

A whole area. A whole area. A whole area. A whole area. A whole area. A whole area. A whole area. A whole area.

A whole area. A whole area. A whole area. A whole area. A whole area. A whole area. A whole area. A whole area. A whole area. A whole area. suicide in concentration camps? Like, did there is there any... I don't know, weapon. I would imagine there was. I'm trying to formulate a theory that you don't commit suicide if you've got to overcome

something bigger than yourself. So you are not going to commit suicide? Because you're my rich. When life is hard, you don't commit suicide. I thought on that one, okay, cool. I don't know, I don't listen to you. I... Suicide in the...

Oh, so it's a thing. Yeah. Oh, so there goes my theory. I can stop thinking about that Thank you Okay, so you're in your your in the I'm taking this the psychic's talking to me and she told me that I had to pass life in the old West Your friend committed suicide. I was a bartender. Okay, okay, there we go. And if you're the piano at all, they're just 10 bars. Straight up bartender. Okay.

But I did, I had a gun and all that stuff. Wow. Well say there, Fussy Bridges. Fussy. Fussy. Fussy. Fussy. I know, Bridges.

You know how to clean a glass. Fussy. So, no, back then I was like, look, I'm not doing this. You want it done? I'll pay some. Somebody's Chinese guys. I thought I was back at coins. But I would, and my friend was an actual gunslinger,

and he hung himself. But that person still watches over me today. Oh, the gunslinger. The gunslinger, you never got to come back and go and do life again. Watch out. Oh, I'm gonna do it. Why? You get another turn.

Maybe Max is the gunslinger. First of all, Bonnie. First of all, Bonnie, he maybe he did. Maybe that version of him is back there. Whoa, now we're getting into some shit. So you believe in that? No, I'm not saying I believe it is. I was saying this was told. This is to me as equal to any religion I've ever

heard. So I don't find it. It makes sense for you to believe in reincarnation because you look like the Buddha. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Yeah. But I did, when I go to, I've been to Old West Town, Virginia city. I've been to a few of these towns. Yeah, but I did, when I go to, I've been to Old West Town Virginia City. I've been to a few of these towns. Well, there, I mean, what? If you get a tingly feeling and you go there, I do, but I do, I do get a sense. I do get a sense.

What do you move? What's wrong with you? I don't know. You sit on your dick. Sorry. I did a belveteer. I don't know. I said, I don't know. I said, I don't know.

Sorry. I did a belveteer. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I said, I don't know. I said, I don't know.

I said, I don't know. I said, I don't know. I said, I don't know. I said, I don't know. I said, I don't know. I said, I don't know. I said, I don't know. I said, I don't know.

I said, I don't know. I said, I don't know. I said, I don't know. I said, I don't know. I said, I don't know. I said, I don't know. I said, I him. No. Oh my god. So I, I, looks like a letter. I, uh, thank you Mike. I, uh, yeah, I feel something towards the old West. And when she said this man, I was like, oh, that makes sense. That, that, that I, I liked, I, I really,

if I could pick a time to go back to, I think it would be the old West. Yeah. The murderer rates were high in the now. Oh, so, so, but your horse, woof. Uh, I rates were high in the now. Oh say something but your horse. I'd be in shape. I didn't say go back like this. All right if I had a chance to go back inside. Somebody's horses are swaying back. If I had a chance to go back in time do you think I'd go at this waist? No. I mean I didn't know you were led to choose. Yeah, I don't know anything about this world. Yeah. You're hurting it all now.

I see I think we're a video game that something else is play. And the game is that one, one, you're trying to get as many as much population as you can. And the game is trying to get zero population. So the game is natural disasters, starting wars, all that kind of stuff. Civilizations in city? Yeah. I heard things. Does that anybody, huh?

Come on. I think you guys are cokes. I heard somebody say that we are God. Oh, we are. So you're God. And basically, my whole life for someone to say that, you're God. And basically, you can choose whatever life you wanted to live. And you've chosen. Why would I choose this? I'm going to get to that. What are your shitty audience member? I'm gonna get there. Oh Stay with me My wife's an asshole. Why I'm gonna get there. Is this what you doing station?

I should neck please would give me a fucking special if I want this Anyway What no that you you can live whatever life you want to live and you've done that You've you've lived the life where you're a millionaire you live the life where you could fly can live whatever life you want to live and you've done that you've you've lived the life where you're a Millionaire you live the life where you could fly you live the life where you oh where you you've already tested some of this you thought you've lived fucking Billions of lives. Oh, and now where you're at because you've done every version of all the stuff This is the life that you chose to live. For this time.

To give yourself these trials and tribulations, and to put these things in front of these obstacles. I have thought about that. Like, why did I do to deserve this? Well, you've had. But you chose this life. And when you die, you'll just choose another life to live. Yeah. No, I think I was probably a douchey guy.

And then that's why I was like, okay, well, to understand more how that works, I'll get married to a douchey guy. You know what I mean? I'm like, hey, that's why. So my next life, if I'm a man, I probably won't be douchey. Right.

Yeah, I was born. Learned that one thing. It's when you think of that, because you think of the pot people say manifestation do you believe in manifestation woman of a station, please? whoa, let's be equal Do you believe that you bring if you say it and think it and believe it it will be true? I believe some of that in

terms of like I think in your own head Like you self hypnotize or whatever it is, it doesn't have anything to do without there. Right. I don't know if I believe like you're putting information into the universe, but you're telling yourself and if, you know. Yeah, you're believing it.

You're using the power of your brain. Yes. To manifest something in reality. Do you believe in that? I mean, I think I just explained what I believe. I'm trying to manifest your chair going out the window. No, please something fall from. I think it's all like if you believe that you can do something or have something or be something, there's a better chance, not that you will necessarily have it, but there's a better chance that you could have that.

But there's all these kind of circumstances that get in the way, obviously, that you can't change that. I mean, where you were born, or your circumstances in life, those all come into play. That's not just like, I'm a refugee,

because that's when I manifested for myself. I love them. I guess I wanted my whole family dead. And I don't leave that. Is that the little cartoon kid? That's like the cartoon. The little raccoon. Is that the little cartoon kid? That's like the cartoon. Little Rascal. Rascal.

Hmm. Why does I really wanted this for myself? Hmm. Why did my vest blow up in there? Yeah. In there car, dammit. I mean, guess I wanted it, like, uh. Uh huh.

Why am I trying to do your funny accent when I can't? I just let you do it. Oh, God, I'm like, I know. I'm let you do I know I'm very tired you're very tired but I think because I wanted it like that I believe that you can I believe that you yes I don't know you can say the universe you can say you sure on brain whatever you say But I believe if you think something And you believe in it and you really think it and believe in it all the time and you verbalize it into out here, you know, just keep it in here.

That a version of that will happen, not the exact version, but it will happen. Because yes, maybe it is your brain. Maybe you're using more potential out of your brain. Or maybe you're saying it and people are like, oh, just shut them up. Give it to them then, I guess. I don't know how to make them stop talking about it. Just give me a hand job, please. All right, fine.

You know what, hand jobs have you done because of that? Not you. Jesus Christ, buddy. I mean, that's fucking work. Oh. Oh. No, you put it in those terms. You're right. It has worked.

That used to be a fucking real thing back in the day. Can't we finish the movie now? Thank you. I did something. Show me your tits and you're like, what? They've asked us the funniest. I was just shit. I believe that, don't you believe that Gabby? What? You seem like you believe that. Sure.

You don't. You don't believe that. No, I believe if you believe in yourself, you could do anything. That's it. Yeah. If you're gonna put that out there that you could do something and you go for it, then you could probably do it. What about you, Michael? Um, no. What do you believe in besides nachos? Whoa fat on fat crime. Oh boy. What do you believe in? I believe I was a gun fighter. They killed

himself to get away from you. Oh my god. That was a great joke. If anybody else delivered it, we'd all be laughing. But because Mike. But what is it, timing is everything, is that we're learning? Mike has the soul of a dead moth. I would know that. One of the things is you don't expect it to be funny. Right? So that's like part of the plot.

He probably doesn't think he's funny. Therefore, you haven't put it out there. We don't believe it. Oh my God. What about you, Joe? Do you think you're funny, Joe? I think I'm very funny, but I think there's, I mean, some of this that had helps to put it out there,

whatever you have to have talent. I know I think it's like, it's a lot of the baseball player. That's true. You have to be able to play baseball. I'm not saying that you can sit, it's not a wishing well. It's not a fucking genie's lamp. It's just how I'm putting it.

I'm saying that you can, yes, you would, but it would, but by putting it out there you do Create these paths. Should we be smoking close cigarettes? I was thinking about I really wanted to do weed do Very cool. Yeah, because I don't know a guy that sells grass I've been sober for 30 years. So I can't just smoke you know you what you'd be high all the time. You just go straight to be. I know, but I need I think I'm I need I don't want to take drugs. I believe I have and I'm going to open up

here for a second again. I believe. I believe. Get anything out of the way that's gonna hinder your joke. That's about to come. He's like, let me clear my throat. You guys see the top. What else do you believe? You guys compliment each other so well. I love doing a podcast with you, you three ready. I smell the gun. You two. What was the third? Yeah, all right. I'm sorry. All right. I'm sorry Believe in I believe that I I suffer from

See in that short amount of time he said fuck you I believe and look at that Manifesto Killer killer manifest today Yeah, that was great. Oh wow Nice I believe I have diabetes In a diabetic voice A fucking diabetic fat Just felt his foot Like his fucking blood is like honey

Shit fuck What do you believe though? I believe I have I feel like you're making up Something you know that's not true. I'm trying? I believe I have. I feel like you're making up. I feel like you started this. I'm trying to guess, and now you can't think of something. You know that's not true. I believe that I have, I have, depression.

Ah. I have, I have, clinical depression. I also believe that I have, I have, what is it doing? PTSD. PTSD. I that I have, what is it doing? PTSD.

PTSD. I believe I have. Because I've been so, I've been, I have so much violence in my childhood, and even in my adult life. And I believe that it might be something wrong with my brain, because I mean- Well, I think we all agree with that. But I got, I got, I got, I got, I remember, I've been knocked out a bunch of times.

I'm a one time, I got punched and kicked in the fucking head so much that I was out for four and a half hours. Wow. What? And I'm sitting there going, well, if these football players had these concussions. Yes, concussions are bad. And they were, you know, their brains were fucking trashed. I must have, I must have some shit too.

Yeah, you could have definite damage in there. Because I've been knocked out a few times, you know, and I've heard a few times. But also I think that, you know, I have this depression that I don't, I will not, because I've, when you're a survivor, when you will not let, because you had to pull yourself up from all the shit, your whole life, you won't let depression beat you either.

So you just, you, you, you white knuckle it, right? Yeah. And even meetings or talking to people, it helps and it keeps it at bay. But there is some type of, I don't want to go on medication. I do not want to take these things that people take, but it sucks for me because I know so many guys who have the same thing that I have, but they get to jump on some fucking drug

that levels them out and lets them do work or lets them live a normal life where as I, in my head, I feel like I've been in my whole life battling my own thoughts. Yeah. Now I'm not suicidal, I've never been suicidal, but I do have depression that debilitates me. I don't want to move. I don't want to do anything.

I can't, that's what this weight shit is. I can't get this off. I can't do what my brain wants to do when I want to do it because of all the shit. I like you do a lot. And sometimes I think people put too much pressure on themselves and that's part of the problem too. It's like you might just be that kind of person

that has three days a month where you're just accept that about yourself. And maybe that is a thing too, but I do have these issues that I don't take you know I know a guy takes pot does pot smokes pot It's the third one He takes weight he puts weight in his body He infects Mary Jane he consumes grass. He

He's got wacky tobacchi on his, it smokes. We, I think they say. What if you were on weed, as you say, they, uh, then you would beat yourself up for doing that. I don't want to, I don't want to take weed, but I know something that does. I know a lot of people, that smoke weed for their depression.

And for the depression, and it helps a lot. Right. For their, it really helps them. I think it probably does help a lot, but I think there's also probably another side of it. It's like nothing's perfect, you know? Yeah, I know. You got to figure out what works for you.

I just want to say this one more time and then, and then, but I just want to talk to you about a plant-based diet for a little bit. Go ahead. No, I mean, it could change your life, but you don't know what does work for you. Yeah, but to go through my life,

I've been trying to use therapy. Which look, I love it, but at this point, it's like, you know, I mean, what else can I do? You know what I mean? what else can I do? You know what I mean? I feel like sometimes it's like people get caught up in this cycle of like, um, depressed, fuck why am I depressed? Why can't I stop being depressed?

And then they get more, it just, it just completely, I've only realized this recently about myself. So I feel like I've been doing this for so long, white knuckling it, just picking myself up, hitting bottoms and going back up and trying, and I'm always treading water, even at the best fucking times. I mean, I have a great life, I love my life. I really have a great life,

but I always feel like the drain is, I feel like I keep turning the water on on but there's no cork in the drain I'm just constantly fucking going down that's right of that one, but yeah, like I feel like let me try again I feel like I'm in a tub and somebody pulled the plug out and I'm going down But then they come back in at the last second You're not gonna know you're not gonna go down the drain right? I feel like I'm in a wine bottle. But you know, I feel like I'm treading water all the time. But my point is this, and maybe I'm wrong,

but my point is this is that why don't you accept that about yourself? That I'm just treading water? That's how it is for you, and it's fine. It's like, you know, if you just accept certain things about yourself, I think you have a lot less anxiety about, oh, I'm supposed to be this or I'm supposed to have that or I'm supposed to feel like this. I agree.

This confrontation inside of you, thinking you're supposed to be doing something better when reality, you're doing a great job and you've created an amazing life for yourself. Yeah. You got a pretty good podcast at times. And you have a great house, a great kid, a great wife. But it is. Well, respect to comedian, lot of money, extra money, great actor, drummer.

You have more money than most people in the world. Well, I mean- You do what you love to do. I mean, there's nothing else that you'd want to be doing. No, I do. I love what I do and I have a great life. I understand that, but I should be. I feel like-

The fact that you want more, just say to yourself, okay, that's me, I want more. You know, you don't have to be like, I know it's not that, it's not that, it's the feeling, it's the feeling inside, where you can't, you can't, I understand what you're saying, except who you are, but when you can't do what you wanna do, because of something inside of you,

and then there's people that have that same problem and they smoke weed or they take a pill and they overcome it. Now imagine if okay, I just fuck it for the next 10 years. But then at one point, I do say, let me try a drug. And then my life changes and opens up and I'm finally free of this shit and that I know but it does happen Bonnie No, I'm saying people do do that right people's lives do change Where People some people's lot and there is a backstory to it Maybe there's another side of it that we never hear, but there are some people that

Take stuff and all of a sudden it's like, dude, I feel great now. My life is different. Well, people do calibrate their drugs to a point where they can, yeah, I do think there's those kinds of people that definitely need it and obviously. But you're an addict. So that's not an option. So you, it's like saying like, it's like saying like, oh, I'm in a wheelchair now. I can't go upstairs the way I used to. That's just the way that it is. Like if it was a different kind of handicap, you would be like, I have to just accept's just the way that it is. Like if it was a different kind of handicap, you would be like, I have to just accept it.

You don't get a pill that makes you walk. But they also give you a wheelchair when you can't walk. Where's my wheelchair? I mean, I don't, I didn't. Well, I mean, if you give me that analogy. I didn't give you that analogy. I just, I actually thought the wheelchair ain't really exciting, so I was like, I got it.

That was good. I was really real. So I just want my wheelchair. But I think somebody just objects that like. Am I handy kept bathroom? Am I handy kept stairway? Am I handy kept door? Am I handy kept bus?

Just keep going this way. You're going to have all those things. Yeah. I'm a drugsy. Yeah. And the only reason why I'm telling you this is because if the off-chance there are people that do listen to the show Who know me as a comic and blah blah blah blah? I

How else would they know you well? I mean I act I Have people saw sex and drugs have no idea. I just said wow I didn't like for but the okay, okay, so for those people I mean, I'm just saying that you can't you know I would I would only offer this to everybody to know that oh, I feel the same way, that's cool. I feel the same way. I always feel, I say that all the time.

I feel like I should be writing scripts and making a movie. I wanted to be Martin Scorsese when I was a kid. They still do, but I just don't do anything. I've never written anything. There's all ready one Martin Scorsese. Yeah, I don't want to do that. How about a Joe List? Da, da, da, da, da don't want to do that. How about a Joe list? Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada,

Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, He takes a little bit of an anti-exhiyity medication, which I also think is a crutch and that he should have figured out somewhere along the way.

I mean, I don't know. I think you should figure out how can you best do this? How can you manage it? It's not like, it's ever going to go away. It's like, how can you figure out how to live your life without constantly, I don't know. Being crippled by it, which I feel like it does. I had a fear of flight, five years ago I dealt with that. I had a fear of the road, I've dealt with that.

I had a fear of a lot of stuff, my whole life. I've dealt with the mothe, I don't fear going on the road anymore, I don't fear getting to the club anymore. I mean, I have anxiety about all that stuff. I dohe, I don't fear going on the road anymore. I don't fear getting to the club anymore. I mean, I have anxiety about all that stuff. I do, but I don't, it was almost getting debilitating at some point. Right. And then that's when it comes out towards other people. Yes.

You know, so I had to get rid of it, or people were going to leave my life. But and because of my son, I don't want to be that way from my son. But maybe you're right, maybe there is a way you have to learn how to deal with it. But it's just, to me, that there's certain people that get to take these things or smoke or join or do this oil or take an edible or have a pill, and then there a whole fucking day is better. But my thought is, first of all, they have no bearing on you. If they're taking pot and their life is better, or they're in misery,

neither one of them affects your life actually. But if I hair and despair as they say. Ah! It is a fucking program! There's cocks in parent despair. Yeah, so like, however they're living, it doesn't matter. If someone's doing pot and write in six movies a day, that doesn't affect your life at all. Doesn't affect my life. I'm not talking, I would take the business out of it please, because it's not just a business, it's relationships. Yes, it's not just. I'm not talking, I would take the business out of it, please, because it's not just a business, it's relationships. It's not just, I'm not talking

about being famous. You want to figure it a way to take the edge off or whatever it is. I'm just figuring that, like, I feel like I have all the shit in me that I've been dealing with in AA and therapy for years, and it's still, it's still. Yeah, because it's a painful childhood thing. It's still there. And it's like, how do I, you might never get rid of it. You're not getting rid of it. That's what she's saying. You're not getting rid. It's part it's still yeah, because it's a painful childhood thing It's still there and it's like how do I you might never get rid of it? You're not getting it. That's that's what she said. You're not getting where it's part of you, but some people do Well, but some people do maybe they do You're saying I'm not I'm not but some people do maybe it wasn't as prevalent or as serious for them Well, maybe it was maybe whatever they're taking help them with that

Maybe they didn't need to learn You're just trying to convince yourself to take drugs. I'm actually telling you. I'm actually telling you. But they're also not addicts. I'm taking. Joe, I'm doing crack and cocaine tonight. They're not addicts.

And you are. Well, whatever. Join me for a drink after the show or not. I'd rather not have an allergy thank you. I'll be covered in herpes and shooting everywhere. I'm going smoke a cigar in a bourbon and a little fucking molly. Are you in a year out? I love a cigar.

I love bourbon too, but I can't have it. Well, Fag, you're not coming there. Oh, that's the third time you've said Faggot. I didn't say Faggot. I said Faggot, it's a lighter version. Each time you've said it after I said it. That's the thing. All right, well let's wrap this up.

I'd rather not, I think we're getting somewhere right now. No, I think I understand what you're saying. I understand what Bonnie's saying, not you, but I understand what Bonnie's saying. Yeah. I'm glad I could be somehow. No, but I understand what you're saying, too, Joe. Of course.

We're agreeing. So while you're saying what, I think she's saying another. I don't know about that. He's talking about meetings. You're talking about, you know, just a second. I use a lot of AA sayings in my life. Like what? They want the program.

This too shall pass. I say a lot to myself. What about easy does it? I don't believe in God, but I say a lot of times, like let go and let go. Which just to me means like, just don't try to control it. Yeah, right. Yeah, well, it is a good one.

What about this one? What? This is good for you in this moment. Yeah. I didn't come this far to only come this far. and to come into my underwear and make my mom wash it yeah yeah or you got them or make me eat it yeah I Joe where you at talk to me oh boy Providence Comedy Connections July 19 to the 21st and when does this come out Sunday Sunday Sunday?

Uh, this I'm not this Sunday Sunday two weeks. Oh fuck my ass. Oh, I was gonna play my big party show I wish I had known because I was doing live with live right now. All right. Well, July 22nd we're live right now and we'll pump out this week with every knee pumped out all right? All right. Well, I'm doing that apartment show that you did before on the Upper Rese side. I did that with Michelle Wulfi. Yeah. Yeah. So we're doing that on 99th and second Avenue. That's out there. It's on my Twitter. And then August 9th, Parler Live in Bell View, Washington.

Yeah. Those are fun ones. Providence coming actually. And of course, Tuesdays with stories. And I love you. I love you too, buddy. All right. I met the people listening. I love you, but I love you. I'll slap you a good man. All right. Well, I met the people listening. I love you, but I love you all so I'm here a good man All right, well, what do you got Bonnie? I don't know. Oh, I gotta plug the roast original kill me

Yeah, let's do that. I mean let's just say this it's the funniest ever I'm not saying this is what everybody says It's the funniest roast ever done. Yeah, I mean it was a pretty good night. I got to say that it was everyone everyone's jokes We're so good You but you let me look at everybody knows you fucking murdered you were the greatest I did yeah You did and I was saying that because you're here you fucking killed that everybody's talked about Everybody was like oh my god. You were fucking great everybody did great except for one person, but everybody think No, that's the reason there was two every other one person. But everybody thinks, no, that's the reason.

So it was two. It was two. I only saw one. No, but you know what's fun about it? Is that all the comics came? Yeah, it was great because it was Rich's birthday. It was his actual birthday. And so it was like, we planned it as a birthday party

and invited all his friends. We were trying to figure out how much money you guys have made. Because Keith and Colin were on the show before. And we were trying to figure out how much money you guys have made up me because Keith and Colin were on the show before and we were trying to figure out how much money you guys made off of it. Was it 20 billion? Well, you guys make a certain percentage of what we make. You know that, right? Whatever. How much did you make? Well, it was a million downloads so far. So at $10. I don't want to say exactly how much it is. But you get 0.005% of that.

So I think that's good. You got a lot of fucking body. It was the one thing you said that really, that I get about you go, some people just don't get me. I know. So you're funny. It's a show.

Rich Vos, rich Voss roast at the underground roast at the underground. If you don't have it, you go buy it. Don't steal it. Don't buy the five dollar version and be a more un-rented. Rent it. Because people said, I rented. How can I upgrade to buying it? Just buy it.

There is no way you're going to do this. Just buy it. Yeah. Just spend the 10 bucks and own it for your life. You watch it, your friends will watch it, your kid will watch it, over and over and over again and tell people to buy it. Everybody who's a comedy fan of anybody on the show

should have that in their collection like a fucking Led Zeppelin album. Like a AC DC album. Like a Pantera album. You're going backwards. Like a warrant album. Like a Robert Kelly album. You should have that.

You should have this. I bought it. Yeah, I bought it too. You're a fan of comedy you need to have this. Go to richvossros.com, buy it, do not steal it. Do not put it on fucking YouTube. don't be a fucking scumbag, and don't own it, support. And we'll make more. Yeah, and we'll do more.

If you fucking chisel him, you're not getting it. What else you got, Bonnie? I don't know, is that good? Listen to my wife hates me, I'll do it for her because she's a fucking, not a fucking asshole. Yeah, my wife hates me, one of the funniest podcasts. I listen to very few podcasts, even on a network. I listen to some of them, all of them.

You started it, you made us do it. It's the funniest fucking thing. I can't stand how funny it is. I laugh out loud. I'm on his side, I'm on her side. I fucking, you're on his side. Sometimes I hate you, sometimes I hate him. Oh my god sometimes I hate you sometimes I hate him. Oh my god. I mean, it's mostly him.

But sometimes I hate both of you. No, not sure. It's the fucking greatest podcast ever. Go to ridecast.com. My wife hates me with Boston Bonnie. What else you got? Gabby. Gabs.

Thank you. I have a podcast with Katie Hanigan called the Apod Calipse Joe's gonna do it. Joe's on there And I love his puns. I've been meeting to cancel that but yeah You could cancel it. It's fine. No, I'll be there. What are you kidding? It's a lot of fun. So yeah, it's about a Pot of clips. What is the it's about different? Apods and Ernie's It's good. We don't have to use the same McGuinness Excuse stay away from the edge Do it. That's good. We don't. I'll have to use the same, a McGinnis excuse.

Stay with me on the edge. We'll just factor. You're gonna do it. It's fine. What else you got? That's it. What are you doing? Oh, this win is a tomorrow.

If you're listening live, all three was gonna be at the Black Buzzi Academy. Oh, yes. Tomorrow night. That's Black. And I'll be at Skankfest on Sunday night. Oh, Skankfest, I'm gonna manage. Yeah. But next week I'll be opening for Caldonigan and Santonio. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right.

That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right.

That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right.

That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. thanks for coming in buddy Chris right? Thanks for coming in buddy. Thanks for bringing Joe cookies and not us Huh there's enough for everybody in there is it for everybody? The six for everybody so that's you guys can split one all right what I Can't have cookies. I'm gonna eat garbage Zach what do you have Zach then you guys are the best friends in the world.

Make sure you what? Oh, my dates. Oh, sorry. Can you not be coy about it ever again? I know. He looks like an emoji. Yeah, like your can-can girl that I used to be. Well, swell.

Just fucking say, read the thing, Fetzzo. Sorry fucking say read the thing, FATSO. Sorry. Please read the thing. All right. Go to Comedy Cellar Vegas. Me, Keith Robertson, your husband Rich Voss, and Paul Versey, last week of August. So go and get your tickets now.

Comedy Cellar.com, go to the Vegas website. Comedy Cellar Vegas just got voted number one comedy club in Vegas. It is popping off the charts. You're gonna love it. If you do something in Vegas, it's just one of those things you should do. And it's go there to the Rio comedy seller Vegas. Make sure what else do we have to promote? You use like a code CC social. Almost a helium last week in July. See, what did you get those, what did you get those fucking glasses?

I don't know. I haven't bought any new clothes or anything in over eight months. I know I heard on your podcast you wear the same jeans, too Yeah, all right, so they go there Montreal just for laughs. Please don't hang up Please don't fast forward through this. I am hosted by Robert Kelly. She's gonna lose weight in a week. How do you do that? Look at me. Juice. I got to take steroids. Jesus Christ, Gabby, it's crazy.

Go the nasty show of hosting that. I'm also having a live YKWD with Christy and Ari's going to be on it. Ari Shafir right in the height of the Hilton. What am I standing at? Hilton, right? Hilton? That's what you said. Okay, and also I'm doing some other show there.

Just for laughs at ha ha ha calm. What else, Michael? And go to my dates, please. I'm gonna be nasty show and then I'm doing a thing and I'm doing the fuck me. I'm doing laugh Boston. You fucks. Better get your tickets now. I don't wanna have to hear them a week and a half

before dude took it to light. You're my hometown. If you live in Boston or can etiquette or a fucking Rhode Island, you better buy your tickets now. Buy fucking 30 of Metapop. Get all your friends to go. Let's have some, do Friday night. Friday night sold the fuck out.

Get it done. Be fucking, you're a fucking fan of mine. From Boston, fuck you. Let's do this. Let's have a good time. And what are you laughing at? Fucking cock suckers. Yeah, you cock suckers.

Let's go bossin sorry that's my CFO's on me no I love it I feel like I want to get tickets alright get tickets you guys the best fans in the world are we done? we're done you know what dude see you next time You've been listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all of the best podcasts on the internet.

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