Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Ghoulie, Ghoulie, Ghoulie

Episode Date: December 14, 2015

This week on YKWD: We have Joe List, Dante Nero, Kevin Brennan & Kelly Fastuca. We get to know Kevin, who demonstrates an uncanny ability to give zero f*cks. We discuss the country's reaction to the San Bernardino shooting, as well as the passing of Bobby's dog Kelbee. Plus a call in from Colin Quinn. Enjoy! RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 grados. ¿Estás listo a Robert Kelly? ¿Qué es, ¿qué es, dude? En la network riotcast.com. ¡Vamos, vamos, vamos!

A la muestra de la encadración de la encadración. No me hagas de estar como un caminete. I'm coming to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth That was trying to keep it like a comic head I have a bunch of guys on it It's just us sitting down And sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's intense No topics of direction I love doing it This podcast has no rules

Can I get a microphone? I'm sure I've already touched it We're grabbing Rubber Kelly You know what dude? You know what dude? I'm not on've already said should I regret it? You know what dude? You know what dude? I know what dude! I guessed it!

I'm playing Kesta! I guess I can't hide! Come! Run me! It's... Uh... Check it out. Football season marches on and while your season long fantasy team might be going nowhere fast every week is a new shot for glory at draft kings dot com that's right i'm doing the ad right up front so you have to listen to it baby. Alright, check it out. Spoiler alert,

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Use Kelly and play for free with your first deposit in Sunday's million dollar fantasy football contest. First place takes home a hundred grand and a lifetime of bragging rights. Enter Kelly for free entry now at draftkings.com. That's draftkings.com. What's up everybody? We're here. I did the read up the front. Joe Listy Poo came in while I was doing the read. He's looking at me very cute See I hate everything For a fucking month. I hate it

Yeah, well you waited it wasn't a month. There was minutes not even minutes it was seconds What are you talking about? No, I haven't been here a couple of you haven't been here. Yeah, yeah Squishy Dante's he's too big you can't have a list of people do you not you're not even Squishy Dante's he's too big you can't have a list of people do you not you're not even Squish I'm squished you're not even touching them. I know that's a nervous my elbow. I got to go straight elbows all day I'm a trainer rush hour. It's not in room. You can touch my arm. Every seat's taken. There you go.

Relax. There you go. Right. But nobody's standing. That would be too many people in a box. Also, what's this start and early? Usually, I'm here. You start at, you say three and you start at 3.40.

I get here early, but I can be better than everybody. I like to feel better than everybody. Everyone? Why is everybody here early? This is, of course, shit. Kevin came early because we had to do a little photo shoot with Lenny. And that's not Lenny.

Yeah, he's a good guy. Said you guys picked on him and he left. Well, we're, oh, God, Lenny. It was a little cramudgeon when he left. Yeah, he's, well, here's the thing. You can't be cramudgeon, and then someone tells cause you on it, and all of a sudden, you're being picked on.

Come in with a smile and say hello and nobody fucks with you. Who are you my mom? I come over with a smile. Kevin. Kevin Brennitz in the house. Happy Thanksgiving mom. Kevin Brennitz in the house.

We got Joe Liss. Bobby the bully is hosting. I'm not the fucking bully. You bullied. Who'd I bully? You're bully Lenny. You just admitted it. And you're deepwood is really you bully Lenny you just admitted it and you're deep with his belly Lenny you bullied him a little bit but what are you but no Lenny likes to get

bully that's why he's getting married he's a fucking idiot oh shit he liked it kind of part time but now it's like I want a full-time bully so I'm gonna get married what you think you think it's gonna be a disaster Lenny's marriage you're out come on It's gonna have to move and that's gonna be a big problem for Lenny because you know Lenny is he's very set in his ways Well, he's got a great apartment though. That's what I'm saying for him for for a man But not women there's like chip paint and a repaint chip whatever you how ever you say it and it's just It's not a woman's apartment a man's a part. Yeah, but it's got a balcony It's got a door man And then as soon as they got out of the kids,

they're gonna have to move. So Lenny's gonna be broke for the rest of his life. Wow, that's... You don't wanna move in New York, it's a fucking pain in the air. I moved. Yeah, but you're Robert Kelly. You know what I mean? What's Lenny?

Lenny's not. No, you need a lot of money to have a fucking family in this goddamn town. Yeah, well, right. He's gonna end up living in whatever, Puttin' them county or something. Puttin' them, I live up there. I moved up there.

All right, a friend's taken, but listen. I still puttin' them county. Nobody knows his zip code up there. I actually live in Westchester. Did you get an Uber up there? No. That's how you judge it now. I can actually get an Uber.

I can get an Uber, because I live. How long? How's it taking? I'm 10 minutes. Nine o'clock still to come in the city though. I can actually get an Uber. I can get an Uber because I live long. How's it taking? I'm 10 minutes. All right. Nine minutes. It's a stone to come to the city though. That's not bad for me. Yeah, we're told it every time. It's not bad. Lenny deep who is one election away from getting deported While we're yeah, well, we got of course show list. We got Dante Nero. We got Kelly

fat tits. Oh Yeah, I just want to suck on one Delicious titty meat We got about a lot of titty meat exposed Yeah, it's gonna be about politics Let's talk about these fuckers You see Australian titties You can't say if I'm on air because my wife might listen and she'll be like

Who is the girl with the tits? Why? She's that jealous? She's gonna show gonna show him how Lenny's cool up. That's why I'm telling all that. That's it. That's it. Can't do shit now with fucking podcasts and videos everywhere.

You cops can't shoot black dudes. What the fuck is up with that? That's one of the perks. That's one of the perks. That's a tragedy. That's a perk of being a cop. You can just fucking write and you, but I was video. So far they've been able to. Pretty successful. That's a perk of being a cop you can just fucking right and

I was video so far they've been able to pretty successful Yeah, we have no we have no rest people think they're a dick, but that's it. That's the whole Wait till they go to jail they're gonna find out now this is not a good move that you It's not gonna about Donald Trump. Yeah, he's going to keep the boy poop right out. Well, Dippoos actually Hindu. No, what are you? I'm Sikh. The fuck is that? That's like some fucking fucking fucking fucking video.

I'm kidding. I'm in the radio. That's the warrior. The warrior. Hey, man. I'm here. I will not allow you to walk over to a joke. He said, I said, what's Sikhek he said it's a button on the radio

We got of course Scopo Lauren and Deepo the fucking people that make all this shit happen Yep, and me Robert Kelly. Yeah, Trump is basically. Hey, but you know, he's just saying that he doesn't fucking me in it It's really yeah, yeah First of all, he has nothing to's just saying that he doesn't fucking mean it. It's really. Yeah, he is. First of all, he has nothing to back it up. He's not going to do it. He's not going to be on the back anything up. He goes to the top.

Because everybody wants it to happen. I was going to post on Facebook that I agree with him, but that I know I was going to get attacked and maybe they will come after me. And that's why you can't post anything. And that's why I want the policy in place. Because if you're afraid to fucking post something on Facebook Because they'll come after you then they should then fuck them don't let them in we got enough We got enough we got the Boba Ghanouche

You know what I mean and and the other thing I was telling Lenny before the show What they don't bring nothing here except fucking Boba Ghanouche They make a couple of restaurants. They don't like the Italians or the Irish or they got it in hallalcarts. They helped the culture anyway Listen, I was telling those guys before the show. Yeah, they should first of all they should get rid of their family Because the people in Santa Bernard, San Bernardino get rid of the whole fucking family because like I was telling Dante If you if you start shit in a bar, they get rid of your whole group I'm not gonna get rid of all get rid of all these motherfuckers that because the father didn't even know this son was like radicalized so maybe doesn't know his other son so get him the fuck out we don't

need him. I gotta worry about taking a fucking patry. You take a fucking corner putt them. I'm on fucking uh I'm on mass transit with these motherfuckers who live in Jersey City. I don't have to worry about I bought a little screwdriver to fucking stand these motherfuckers. You walk around the screwdriver in my backpack yeah. What's it gonna do with a guy You walk around with a screwdriver? In my backpack, yeah. What's it gonna do with a guy with an AK and a bomb? I'll fucking stab him in the back. Have you thought of like, if it happens, what you're gonna do?

I have, I have, I have. I deal with it all the time where I'm like, too soon, like, should I grab the guy? If anybody's acting weird and he smells it all, I'm like, let's do this, you know what I mean? Every guy before him was white, but did it. No, no. I'm not a per-paras, not a per-paras. I Every guy before him was white that did it Paras I Love it wasn't white people first

What guy shot up a church shot a people in a movie theater shot up babies in a We're talking about Paris. We're talking about two different things. You're talking about so me because I hit the fucking thing hang on one. Do we lose a sick joke? You got you got everything right? Yeah, okay Fuck it. Yeah, you're good right? Here's a dick in there. So No, no, no, no, Cali. Here's a deal. Okay. Here's the fuck. Here's the problem. Yeah, here's a problem two different things Yeah, you're talking about mentally ill people going in and killing people. And then you're talking about terrorists under a religion who are trying to eliminate the infidels. Okay, they will never stop. They're not create, they're not like mentally ill.

They're doing it because they have a cause. Okay. And you're talking about random mentally ill people getting a gun and fucking killing people going into a movie theater or going into a church. They're crazy. They're not talking about that. She's talking about the profiling. Is if you're going to profile every Muslim, then shouldn't you profile white dudes with beards who blow a chest and you should do that. You can do that, but definitely profile Muslims because they're going to heaven, they think. They think they're going to have it.

And they love the attention off of Paris and off of this. They're, it's going to happen soon. But they're all nationalists as well. They're all people that were born in that country. So how do you define? You tag them, you tag them like they're fucking animals. Like a shark? What was it like, a tag?

No, like a fucking like he would tag like a cow Like a wild animal in the in the in the wild that you're trying to track and you just tag them But who is that? That's you. Where's my phone? You're the worst host Fucking phone is that? Oh, it's the host phone. Colin. Uh-huh. Yeah. I have. You're on your live on the air. Well, you know what, dude, we're Kevin Brennan, Joe list, Dante Nero, Kelly, Fistuka, Deepu, Scopo, I have way too many people. I'm never having this

many people on the show. Welcome back, Kelly. Oh, hi, Colin. Thank you so much. We're talking, we're talking about the Donald Trump and how he said he should stop all the people and get them all out of the country and not let any more in. And Kevin Brennan agrees. Kelly, the stuka doesn't. I don't care what you're talking about. All I know is the goolee goolee goolee goolee. That word said that many times. I've listened to it three times. It ruined my whole day. It's only been an hour and a half.

It's already ruined my day. If Colin Quinn, when I call him, if he does hands of the phone, I leave a message. And there's my kid song, Ram Sam Sam. Oh, Ram Sam Sam. Gully Gully Gully Gully. Ram Sam Sam. Oh, Rachi. Sam Oh Rachi Oh

Gully Gully Gully Gully Ram Sam Sam I do the whole song sounds like a Muslim song Gully Gully Gully Gully hearing Gully that makes on the road I don't to you guys later. I'll make sure. Hi buddy. That's right. That's like where Bob hopes you should drop by, Letterman.

Hey, it's Colin Quinn on the phone. The host forgot to fucking shut off his phone. Yeah, let me shut that off. I don't know, the best guest just called in. Hang up on him. I got to hope for a girlman. Well, I mean last night when I heard what Trump said, I was I was with a friend of mine and we were talking about it and I was a little heated like yeah, it's gonna win. He's gonna win because of it. He's gonna win you I don't think he's gonna win everybody's turning on me. This is funny too. I see an end would do an interview after the

His speech because you get a standing ovation yeah when he said that they stood up and again But standing up could you split up the eye contact and fuck fuck I'm getting yelled at We're around a little bit Jesus I can't fucking do anything right away. I'm gonna stand down like we're in the old west. I'm talking to you. First of all, the reason I remember looking at you, the camera's here, so I wanted to just make a good look, okay? It's clear that I'm the most intelligent on the panel, but still, I mean, it's fake it.

Well, I think it's funny that the people they get the interview, they don't get anybody, they get, well, I'll think he's right. They all have this accent, and it get anybody, they get, well, I'll think he's right. They all have this accent and it's like, fuck you, dude. That's your support sum, though. And that's who America is. That's not everybody. That is not true.

I got pulled over by an Indian cop and he was like, you better vote for Trump. We were having a sweater, God. He's up to your whose name? Yeah, where do you pull you over and you're where you live? Over by levity, you you know on that highway 80 what is that 87? 87 87 87. Yeah, so I mean Dude people again Fucking win. He's gonna win. He's gonna win because he's not gonna get the moderate

You got to be in order to win the nomination you have to be one degree worst in the most right and in order to get the Win who's going to win? Cruz, I think I think Hillary's going to win the whole thing. Well, who's going to win the Republican? Who's going to win? No way when Trump could win the the the nomination. And if he wins a nomination for a Republican, he'll definitely win because he'll destroy Hillary in a debate. Bring up all the dirt. Because that's what he's doing.

Hillary just said that Hillary won't win. She will not call them Muslims terrorists. She's her and Obama both. Yeah, why does he call it an ISIL? Because he's an idiot. I don't know why he does that. Yeah, it's just fucking ISIS. Isle. Because you can say it's actually ISIL or ISIS. You can say you're the one. Yeah, but it's pick one. Yeah, but it's pick one I know so that's why people are sick of them. Well the same with the Twice I'm sick of them. Yeah, but he calls the the tally band Remember he used to say tally band instead of tally band

I voted for Obama twice me too, but I wouldn't I'm bone for Trump to time your vote for Trump. Yeah I'm wearing a Bernie Sanders t-shirt under here. I'm a Bernie Sanders the fucking joke But he's got a joke, but he's not gonna win the nomination and And all the Bernie Sanders supporters think they're they're all they're doing is hurting Hillary so that's why Hillary won't win They're pulling Hillary left. No, and that's going to be bad for Hillary. It's going to be bad for the party. It's going to be bad in the general. Both Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump have screwed up the system because Bernie is so far left and Trump is so far right. So usually what you would have is you'd have the candidates

would go, that you just have to be one degree more left than the most left and one degree left of the most right. And then when you go to the election, you can go back moderate. Both Trump and Bernie Sanders is taking Hillary too far left and making everybody else go too far right. So it's going to be a bloodbath when they come back to the minute because you still have to get the moderate people in the middle all trompas is a bath All trompas are saying with it. I say that I'm kidding. There's a joke. You're fucking what are you we comics? It's a big it's a big deal with water and then you get in all the water spills out get in all the water spills out. I just like all Trump has to say is Muslims, all Trump has say is Muslims are bad and

women can still get abortions and then when. But Trump just lost all the Muslim votes is a ton of Muslim votes in this country. So the Republic just lost those. They've already lost that man. And the Latina, you know, the Latina vote. And the Muslims, that's a two big groups can't be. Yeah, but the Latina don't like the Muslims. So he's they're going to let him. Yeah, but they're not going to have to like the Muslims if they a two big groups can't be yeah, but the latinos don't like the Muslims so I he's they're gonna

Latins, yeah, but they're not gonna have to like the Muslims if they all get deported so doesn't matter So you jump away all the Ported they're just not gonna be able to come in that's what he wants. No, he wants to kick the other ones the ones that are here Illegals out of here, but first you got to stop the new ones from coming in You know, I mean like if there's a problem you stop the new ones and then you start to figure out That's what we're not gonna do that. He said he you stop the new ones and then you start to figure out. That's what we're saying. We're not gonna do that. He said, no, no new ones until we figure out

what's going on. We should do that with comedians. No more new comics and then we kick out half this room and then we work that way. I like that policy. No new comedians, the moratorium. Yeah. So, no more.

All the new ones are so great, according to their Facebook postings, they don't fucking kill. Nobody bombs on Facebook their Facebook postings. They don't fucking killed nobody bombs on Facebook I know does that they all kill well now killing and on social media going to comedy now people just use the term killing Just means doing comedy. Yeah, his Bob killing this Dave killing You never said here's every show when there's like four people in the crowd like oh packed house It's like now I was right no one's ever like Christophe Oh doing comedy it's always going killing It's an illusion though every club and every place is creating a fucking illusion because you're never gonna know unless you were there

I mean what are they gonna do show you? I was there. I was there. I was a jealous eighties balls last night I ate my balls last night. I hate that. Where let me attend it stand up New York every the cellars doing amazing stuff The stand is great and all these other clubs are at embarrassing point. I did fine. I did fine. I did fine. I did fine. I did fine. I did fine. I did fine. I did fine. I did fine. I did fine. I did fine.

I did fine. I did fine. I did fine. I did fine. I did fine. I did fine. I did fine. I did fine. I did fine.

I did fine. I did fine. I did fine. I did fine. I did fine. I did fine. I did fine. I did fine. I did fine. I did fine. I did fine. I did fine. I did fine. Because they had to get back on time so they don't and they don't tell you it's one thing if they're like we're running behind So you're doing 10 I can shuffle some stuff around because some of us are trying to work new material and be fucking comedians here So I get cut I

The nine minutes when I was I mean people were there like 14 they get the worst crowd 56 They're all foreigners and they're terrible. I think that's comedy now. I think the people aren't, they're not in reality. I worked this weekend and I had the middle guy. God, he walked in nice enough guy.

But the first words out of his mouth, I was like, what are you doing? I go, what are you doing? He goes, looking at your sexy face. Oh my God. And I go, what are you doing? He goes, looking at your sexy face. Oh my God. And I go, we're already off to a bad start. This is terrible. To say that to him?

Yeah. And he goes, what are you doing? I go, listen into your corny shit. This is just awful. Well, we start to conversation with, what are you doing? I go, what are you doing, man? I hate doing it. Why are you bringing your own feature?

Why are you bringing your own feature? Because I'm not that. I tried to bring Stavros, but he was already working somewhere else. And then I tried to get somebody else with the guy I was like, look, somebody's already booked. So I don't want to take away somebody's fucking rent money or whatever they're doing with that. So I'm like, cool, if I don't plan it a far enough out, then I don't do it.

I kind of just forgot about it. And then I had, so when they're bringing me up the guy would bring me right on, right after him. Everybody, he's a funny guy, both the actual funny. I'm not gonna take that away from him, they were funny. But then the guy, all these people go to the bathroom. So I said, do two minutes in between me and that. So he actually said to the owner, he goes, I guess he can't follow my heat.

Wow. I guess I'm bringing the heat because he's gonna have what. The feature is that? Yeah, he said it to you Oh, just say his name, please cuz I don't think I'm a real fucking cunt. We can look it out. Then he goes There he goes because he's gonna reset the room with him have what's his name go up and reset the room after me I'm like a what there's no I would have beat it should out of it was not I'm gonna I'm gonna lost the fight, but I would have still beat this I would have like he was a big guy. I don't care Where's she had also we're sending the room is nice?

You said the fucking room. Yeah, but it's not even reset. I don't I like going up right after but people go on the bathroom So as I was coming on I was bumping into people like coming out to pay I was bumping into people like coming out to pay Like professional you know, so yeah, it's done professional to bring the headliner up where everyone's moving It's exactly if you're a feature you have to understand it Features are all fucking nobody if you if they pay 25 bucks to see you None of that $25 is for the feature all the pay for the show But if they have a problem with features, features have the easiest spot because they follow an MC

with socks. They don't have check spots. They don't have landfall. They have the easiest part of the show. And then they kill or they do well. And they think, oh, the headliner confiol me. It's like, OK, you follow the headliner. Let the headliner feature.

And then you follow me. And you lose half your ass. It's the ass. You lose half your ass. And it the ass. It's the ass. It's the ass. It's the ass. It's the ass. It's the ass.

It's the ass. It's the ass. It's the ass. It's the ass. It's the ass. It's the ass. It's the ass. It's the ass.

It's the ass. It's the ass. It's the ass. It's the ass. It's the ass. It's the ass. It's the ass. It's the ass. It's the ass. It's the ass. It's headliner, here's the thing too, is all middle, not all of them, but some of them are like, yeah, I usually headliner. I'm usually a headliner. I want to

say this, if you're middleing at a comedy club, you're a middleer. Headliner, you're not a headliner, you're a middleer. Headliners do not middle at comedy clubs. Okay, that's it. I never middle for anybody at a fucking club. If you're middleing at a comedy club You are a middleer. It doesn't matter if you headline every other week or you're a fucking middleer That's also part of the Facebook like Twitter like I'm killing. I'm great. I'm branding myself everyone's Delusional like they're all fucking great, but everyone does well on Facebook Even if it's not comedy, even people's lives are better as well. Yeah, you're right, you're right.

You're never gonna open up and let Kav open for you. Cause he's the Kav, he's never gonna open for you. So if you're an opener, you're an opener, you're a feature. Yeah, I'm saying, I'm saying, that's, I'm saying a robber, I'm gonna robber middle for me. I'm saying, I'm gonna drink it. it's you get guys who are who are middles and then and they're like oh I had no you don't because if

The minute you're middling and you you're putting that much heat on the headliner You're no longer middling your head but here you know why Kevin will never middle for me because he's headlining somewhere That's what I'm saying. But I'm saying, even if you're, even if you're, when you hit the level where you start to put heat on the headliner, you will no longer middle. A headliner won't let you middle, right? So how are these guys meddling, if they're sorry? What really quick?

Did you get that bracelet off of a dog? It's a blockchain. It's like Tyson's pitfall. I am so sick of Dante Peacocking. Makes me sick. Yeah, whatever the dumb book he read, you gotta let people know you're in the room. We're something bright.

Yeah, you know, it sounds like... The four of us... The four of us do that impression. It's like this. Two of us. The four of us. I'm just like that. I think Jeff Leach had aatted chapter in that too, right?

What's that? He cocking you. I like Jeff with his belt. I do like Jeff. I don't mind Pete cocking. Let's be cocking again. That means when you wear bright, look at all this shit and when he walks in the room, you notice him.

Because he actually has a fucking silver style. Go ahead on his knuckles. But his shiny. It's shiny. How do you not know it's a shiny thing? Not even a goat head. Is that the sound from Two Detective? Wow, you really. Oh, yes. What was that season one, I mean, that was.

Do you fucking think about it? Yeah, I thought about it. You should get, I want a pad of paper in front of Scobo. I want you to write it down, give it to everybody in the room, and you need four checks to say anything on the show. And then on Facebook I'll say he killed. I fucking crushed it on the podcast. Pack, you know those guys, those features that said that to you, Bobby,

I blame women because it says one, there was one. She's right. Yeah, I'm in there. I'm in there. I that was one chicken. Yeah, right. I'm in there. I'm in there. I'm in there. I'm in there. I'm in there. I'm in there.

I'm in there. I'm in there. I'm in there. I'm in there. I'm in there. I'm in there. I'm in there. I'm in there.

I'm in there. I'm in there. I'm in there. I'm in there. I'm in there. I'm in there. I'm in there. I'm in there. I'm in there. I'm because you know comedy gets in pussy. I mean, they're good. There are middle acts that fucking kill and could headline and maybe even

should headline, but it's tough to get. No, it's not. I fucking I'm middle for fucking 13 years because there's no other way to take you. You weren't as good as you were now. You weren't that bad. I wasn't. You were in the alcohol and crushing.

You were crushing. You worked for me. You did on the radio on Facebook. I mean, I was. I wasn't weak with you fucking eight years ago. I'm a Facebook I mean I was I won week with you I can eight years ago. I'm fairly disappointed But now you're your TV credit Joe. You'll be your fucking headliner now Joe is becoming your transitioning to a you're not gonna be fucking I don't know for you. Okay, just fear cuz you get that

When you're at that skill set you nobody's gonna let you Middle yeah at a club You can middle at a theater you can middle at I middle at an arena or a theater on a big show That's fine. I'm talking about at a comedy club. They're not gonna let you know if you're middleing at a comedy club You're not a fucking headlight They will just try to pick up it's it's I don't know. So these guys are full of shit. They're all just trying to pick up.

It's, it's, it's, it's, uh, thank for them. I think what Kelly said is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of. No, I got it. Literally, some weird, like, girl that doesn't exist that's not what somebody's did. You should have been happy. I can see, I can see guys who are in comedy for two years and then like, that one time some girl, like, you know, gave them a little something, something and now they think

they're amazing. They're probably never having anything on stage. Never have. Bullshit. I see it all time. I know I blame. I blame the other comics. Tell you look great because.

Hi baby. In New York, I believe we keep each other in check. You know what I mean by actually being becoming better comics. We do. We all fucking confront each other with shit. Sometimes. Well you don't. You do yeah, you know, I do look I like

Bastard Fucking joke That's his lamp I don't give a fuck Fucking joke thief And you He's caught well you cuddled him like it's okay well, so that's 90% of everything he's ever said it's stolen

90 crazy Tell me So you can mad like this your management my real father I love you. Have you ever confronted will All the time he tells me people are thieves He says me he tells me so and so still in Patrice's bit and who so so he steals everything Yeah, don't say I don't know The other guy could beat me up so it's a woman. I'll say

Let me get my ass I mean look man does Ellen to the Ellen DeGeneres joke. What's that? The whole airport thing moving the chair forward and all that, only moving the chair an inch and they're not waking you up because you have a lot of guys doing it. Is that you going to visit Hac or is it Alex?

Ellen did it when a long time ago. She did it on TV as one of her specials. But that doesn't matter. He took Marina's punchline. Did he make it funny? No. No, but he took every, any time I'm one here and I'm talking about, any time of many when I'm talking

about Will stealing, somebody always comes to me and said, yeah, I see him in the other day, he's stealing. I always see him stealing, he's always stealing and then when he's around everybody acts like it's not happening Well, he's got a nice body he can box and he's a huge stick. We're afraid of a sick him Maybe just sampling like rappers do he's sampling No, it's verbatim from beta that's a little uh...

look man i can't believe it's all about like this but your big day because it's fucking because i don't like the fact that everybody's coddling it like a small well whatever i'm whenever i've had trash in every time i can't see it's because i'm like i don't know what the

i think he said my name so here i am ha ha ha, I would like to see you get him on the show. He's never doing. Why not? Because he knows that I know he steals. So have you ever tried? How would he... I'll... Well, if you're out there...

Let's do it. Hang on a second. He's right outside. Hang on. Hang on a second. These microphones work. No need to scream at them. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah These microphones work The fucking All right

I just don't want you to break my microphone Black emcee voice yo real? Let's talk. What's up? Go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go That sounds good though. Fuckin' thief boy. Oh, the deep blue. Deep blue, yeah. I gotta keep going. You got a question? Yeah, one was last time you heard Will tell a joke that you know what's going.

Uh, earlier this year. Really? Well, he won't do it in front of me because if I'm in the audience, I'll sit in the that you know what's going. Uh, earlier this year. Really? Well, he won't do it in front of me, because if I'm in the audience, I'll sit in the front, and it takes him usually a minute and a half to start, because he has to figure out who... What if he doesn't notice you?

Well, I am inconspicuous. Yeah, what shitty club that you can just walk in and sit in front? All peacock. All of them. I don't know. You can't do that to someone. No, they wouldn't let you in. Yeah, I always do this. Thank you, Kevin.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. I saw what. Many factories. Kelly is losing her mind. Bobby's coddling thieves. I'm not coddling thieves.

First of all, don't make it plural, fuckface, okay? You've been accused of fucking stealing. I've never been accused of stealing. Yeah, you have. I have a tree's fuck. But you have a tree's that price. I've never said I stole anything. I've never said it to you.

Well, I've asked him. And so if you can't, if you ain't made enough of me, if I asked him, if you take my joke, I'm gonna let you have it. I'm just gonna let you say a stole. If you will. But never. I got some bad news about pictures. I'll see you later. Never, never said that.

Might have said that there was an essence of the fact that because I was around him same shit and I, it's not the same shit. Yeah, but that's not, that's not the same shit. But it's not, is that the same shit? I'm like, let me, you're gonna fucking do your weird pimpshit with me. It doesn't work. They were shut up twice. I shut up twice. Well, I shut up because I'm scared. Yeah, because you're psychologically pimp me. What are you doing is working on me. I am poor. No, the fuck.

Yeah, bring it down. I'm scared and Joe. But the essence look the essence the essence, the Joe. There's a difference between a premise, an actual stealing of an exact joke, the essence of somebody, these things exist all over. Okay, Dane, Accus, Steve Burn,

of stealing his essence. All right, what about you, other fucking guys? Of some thing that he thinks he created, a certain energy on stage that he projects, and then a younger guy comes up and takes that energy and adds his own flavor to it. Okay. Which is all of art, by the way. Well, it's just some form of doing

what you've been looking at before. I agree. I agree. I'm explaining what I mean by that. I understand that. And what I'm saying the game before. I agree. I agree. I'm explaining what I understand that. I understand that. Right. And what I'm saying to you is, Will's silvents, Stole jokes, verbatim, from people that he saw and did them on stage several times throughout the course of all the years that I've known him since 1992 when I met Will.

Can I say something else? I've actually talked to him about this, and he's explained, and I've talked to you about shit too. We've had, we've had, I've called you up and said, this is the deal. Explain this to me, because people said this, and you said, okay, here's the deal, and it made sense to me.

I called Will up and talked to him, and he made sense to me. Okay, so as far as, I don't have, first of all, number one, I don't have time in my life to go review, will, and fucking quarter of and make notes and then come back and be like, you know what, you're right. I don't, I have too much shit to do.

I don't, I don't disagree with that. What I'm saying is. Don't say a caught on mother fuckers. Will is my friend. Okay, for a long time. He's a, we're in a crew together. You, me, Keith, Norton, Voss, we're on the same thing, okay? Right.

So as far as him, I'm not caught on him, but I've talked to him about it, and like I talked to you about it, it made sense. So your beef with him is your beef. If you want to take it on your show, I'll take it up in front of him, and then I can find out and see what the fuck he says to you. Personally, maybe he says something different to you. But as far as I go, I talk to him about it. So I'm not coddling anybody.

I don't fucking coddle people. I don't have time in my life to coddle anybody. But I'm not going to go and fucking investigate and accuse somebody. But you also don't watch. You also don't watch. No, I don't. And you're not, you're not watching comics. And what I'm saying to you, what I'm saying, I'm glorified, I'm saying, I'm saying to you that I have seen him directly verbatim, steal jokes that there is no, there's no,

there's no, it sounded right or nothing. I'm not gonna accuse him of anything because he gave me that lamp over there. OK. And if I accuse him, he might come back and take that lamp. I don't know. All right. And I like that lamp.

Did he steal a lamp? Did he steal it? Never met a random video. I heard he's a fucking thief. No, it's a bust of his cock. A bust of his cock. He's going to be a dick. I'm pointing, evidently.

It's funny, too, my. He's got a bit of dick. I'm pointing, evidently. It's funny too, my- Triple stitch. Just a switch topics here for a second. I just want to say thank you to everybody who on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, all the social media and friends, all my friends who reached out to me about my dog, Kelbee Dying.

I did. I'm sorry about that, bro. Sorry, it's a bad time Let's try to do the gag work Go on about your dogs He's dead How old was your dog I use 22 15 you have one dog I have two dogs you got have 15. You have one door. I have two dogs. You got Calbee. Now he has one.

Wow. Jesus Christ. Go, Bo. Come on. God damn it. Come on. I just brought away. I didn't know he knows a arithmetic. That was a blessing. You should have gave that one a Kevin. I got me and Don got Calbee when we first started living together in L.A. How old's 15? Like 180? I don't know. What is the math of that?

Seven years per year. What is it? 1334. A5. 105. But I've heard it's not actually like just each year is seven years because it starts to like the middle of the year. It's not a perfect science.

I think after 10 it doubles. Oh really? I don't know. It's like 105. It's an algorithm. He, yeah, we, we got him. I think, you know, there's always that point of your leisure where you want something else to connect you.

And he kind of was that thing. Like, you know when living together isn't enough, you need like a kid or a dog. Or anal. Or anal. Or anal. Or a little way to anal. I've never done anal.

With my wife. Oh, you got it. Yeah, I fucked as a time, Brian. Boss had all the time in the ass. In the butt. I tell you, bro. I fucked his Italian broad and boss it all the time in the ass in the butt. Um, Italian broad. So we got him, we, uh, what are you doing? I'm retweeting your thing.

We don't need you to retweet it. You've been on the phone. I'm gonna get through the sad dog things we can get into the anal. Well, he's been, I can, well, he bring you up with, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, It's hard to fucking be yourself because I want to just go wills and ask I literally want to erase wills phone number in my phone From that day, so he'll stop yelling at me But I have to love you by love you when I was talking to him my my toenails were curled I'll tell you where's the last time you beat somebody up for real like you Too late. Wow. Maybe

I don't know I feel like you're gonna be careful cuz you could you could be a crime You know I get in a fight they're like all right break it up your nerd somebody you could fuck He's a deadly what if I'm I'm hit oh it's last year I choked some dude at a stand-up New York. Oh really? What was it wasn't laughing? No, he came in really? You laughing No, he came in. You're early. He came in. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early.

You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early.

You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early.

You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. You're early. He goes, everybody go back inside. None of these motherfuckers are funny. I'm doing comedy and everybody was outside. Like they were in the bar area just not leaving. Cause this black dude, he was a little strong on drugs. And he goes, everybody go back in and they don't know what to do. And I go, yo, get the fuck out of the club. And the guy goes, he's like, what, he goes, what? And then he starts taking his jacket off, right? So I have alligator shoes on and a fur coat.

I have my blue fur coat on. Of course he did, Jesus. And he probably thought he was fucking stripping harder than he was. I'm in the 70s. I'm gonna ask him by a pimple. I go up and I'm a smacking in fucking mouth. And he goes, oh, oh, and he starts taking this jacket off. Maybe he was hot.

No, he was trying, he was like ready to go. Maybe you made him nervous and he was getting hot and he was like, what? I'm like, wow. And I kind of like mushed him and I pushed his head back and I spawn them and put them out on the ground and I put them in a like a choke well not really a choke hole but like what you call a neck crank. Oh God. So you put your forearm across his chin and you crank the neck backwards. I call it the end of the fight. That's where I go out out out out and he's going he's he's you know I'm cranking it farther until he's almost looking at me

I just happened and then he goes like this I give up right I give up and then I whisper in his ear you can't give up I'm gonna break your neck right and he starts frantically Stop because I don't want to have to fucking submit this to a court case someday Crazy yeah, why did you do that? Because I was in my fur coat and he made me fight him. In my fur coat? And everybody was watching and everything. Yeah.

And Gabe and them filmed it. Oh my God. They filmed it. And then do they have the audio? No. And the guy saw his frantic and then they filmed it. And then the guy, I finally, like, you know, he's trying to show what he's frantic. Because I filmed it and then the guy I finally like you know He's trying to show what he's frantic because I said I'm gonna break your neck

And you can't give up and he starts like squirming around on the ground and I go and then I after a while I let him up Yeah, and Then gave in him had filmed it and so but the reason why I've never been arrested That's which is pretty amazing Because I've done a lot never say never So I just I you know once it happened they were like really cold of cops I jumped in a cab and I left I left my car everything I just I run like a scale white woman when they call the cops right?

That's why I've never been arrested and then I came back and got my car But then I heard that they had filmed it and I called Gabe His friend had filmed it and I made his friend delete the video. He put him in that lungo The leader he deleted what she did and Wherever they filmed it to promote the club like The time the customers has not knowing that you could that you could have me arrested for salt by Video tape and then they raised it. All right, so then I ran in the guy Yeah, I'm old Delos and you know, he was like sober and he was like, dude You know you broke my thumbs when you that and I was like, oh, no, it wasn't me right and he goes

No, no, you broke both my thumbs and I was like how'd you no, it wasn't me, right? And he goes, no, no, you broke both my thumbs. And I was like, how'd you break his thumbs? I don't know. Just in the show. Terrifying. Yeah, Kelby's dead. And I just, I know we'd dig rest a little bit, but Jesus Christ.

Who's Kelby? My dog. Oh, I thought that was a guy. That's a guy. My dog, Kelby. Oh, right. Which is why you a guy. My dog Kelby. Oh right, which is my last name. I'm in Elby. Okay. My last name and whether be Calby, Kelly and whether be Calby. He was he was to fuck you. What are you supposed to name a dog Ted? Yeah, because that's a good

name. So, um, yeah, he was 15. Here's here's a greatest part though. He got he lost the way he had cancer. We were we were we had a tumor. I was panicking, you know, because this thing could cost 10, you know, thousands and thousands of dollars. I know people that put their dog through chemo and all this. I just fucking never seen you get doggy insurance. Yeah, but it doesn't. You didn't have it. I didn't have it, but it only covers certain things. So anyways, the first vet, I actually questioned it. I was like, let's just see. If I had the tumor removed, he would have died,

because he was sold. The second vet was like, if you did, if you put him under anesthesia, he would have died. He probably would have died. He had a good chance of dying. So I'm glad I didn't do that. And then we were like, okay, he had stomach issues. Let's deal with the stomach issues. And then we'll try to remove the tumor in a different way without putting them under. And it was going to cost a lot of my, but whatever. It doesn't

matter. I told my wife, we'll do it. And then I came home from Canada and I was like, he's going. He lost a lot of weight. But after my last show in Baltimore, I was a little shitty this weekend, too, because of this. I was a little short, whatever. But I drove home right after the show. I got home around three in the morning, went in. He was in the bed with my wife, very tired. He opened his eyes. I gave him a little kiss, a little love. She went back to sleep. I slept on the couch and then around five o'clock in the morning. She came out and she goes, he's gone. So he fell asleep in bed with my wife. And then I went out in the backyard and I buried him in the back yard. But yeah, you put so much effort into that lawn.

What? What did you try to be funny? You had to fucking, I mean, you love that lawn. But it's the good job. I had a job. Job. Isn't it good for your digress to put dead people in your, this is the dog, Kevin.

But dad, I had to add animals. dead dead people in your dog and animals oh yeah i had a i had a puppy what was its name? ether you fucking were me? ether? ether that's not even a name that's a thing it's a dog's name

no it's not ether is what you used to make uh... something yeah uh... freebase you know about that it's the day Jesus rose You have a speech Your will-selevens It does have everybody Their Sunday. That's an Ellen bitch. What Look at that. That's right.

I had a candy corso, when it's a year, and got lymphatic cancer, and I had to put it there. Now, would you prefer to have a dog at a puppy at a year, and have cancer, or a dog like 10, 12 years,

and then 10, 12 years? Why would a year? Dude, I had my dog for 15 years, he was great up until the last month. The last month, he just got skinny and got slower. And then he passed away in his sleep. We had scheduled the next day to bring him to the vet and put him down, which, me and my wife were going to drop

Max off over at the dormans and take him to the vet. And I wasn't looking forward to that, because I don't want to see, I don't want to be the one taking the life out of them And he but he went in the sleep man waited for you to get home, dude waited for you and he saw you home and he's like every fucking night. He slept next to dawn Every single night and he would sleep in my spot and just fart Every night I'd have to go in and he would look at me like fuck you Move me and I have to move I'd have to go in and he would look at me like, fuck you, move me.

And I have to move him. I have to pick him up. And then I'd smell. And soon I actually woke up one night. His asshole was in my eye. And I saw it open. The good eye? And go, it went in my eye.

My eye dried up. It's a payback for the baby. So fucking mad. But then, you know, this is, it was kind of, I just shunned him. I should never talk about this, forget it. I, I, okay, I'm gonna do this because I think that someone, if this happens to somebody, I want them to know that it's the first one, it's okay. But second one, I want them to know what to do, because I actually, you know, I took the

dog and he was in we we pads and there was a little poop in a blanket. I took him, I just put him in the blanket and I had a plastic tin that I put, a plastic container that I put him in. And I kind of put him in there and I was all fucked up. I was in shock and I took him outside and I dug a hole and I duct taped the thing and I put him in there. And then my wife and I buried him and I put it rock. And my wife was like, did you put a toy in with him? I was like, no. She's like, did you shut his eyes?

I was like, no. She goes, did you bury him with the weepy pads? With this, I go, I, yeah. And I fucked up. Like, I just didn't know. I was like, let me just get this done before the kid wakes up. Like, I just didn't know, I was like, let me just get this done before the kid wakes up. So last night I went and... Doug it back up. I'd dug him back up, which was...

It was a toy in there? Hang on. It was a funny fucking, let him once again married after this story about your wife. Holy fuck, you can't do anything right. You're gonna bury your dog. Nothing you do is gonna bring your dog back. If you bring a fucking toy, or you get my fucking con candy,

you just took it all the way. You took it all the way. Just did whatever I fucked up. Yeah, I should bury him with a flat tire. Gimme. Ah, dapoo. It took a toy away from Diva, I meant to say. No, it was actually Kelbys toy.

So I just wanted to let everyone know that he knows the name of your other dog. I did a good fucking demo. I did good. My friend Joe came over and helped me. I dug a mess. No problem, I was happy. I don't know if you should tell a story.

You know what's illegal to bury a dog's name. No, no, it's not. I'm putting them back. Every animal I have is buried in my mother's side. It's not illegal. That's you just made that up. Also, illegal in the city.. I'm putting them back. Every animal I have is buried in my mother's side. It's not illegal. That's you just made that up. It's illegal in the city.

Okay, but I live in the country. But anyways, I dug them back up and it was rough because I actually didn't know how deep it was, so I went through the fuck and I chopped them in half. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding! I'm kidding! We're like Henry the leg of the wing! Yeah, what the fuck, you want the leg of the wing, Henry?

I hit a skunk. I dug him up and he was fine. Actually, he didn't smell, he was fine. I took out everything, I swaddled them in a beautiful blanket. I put the toy, his favorite toy between his legs. I shut one of the eyes. The vibrator? What are the eyes? What about the eyes? Well, the other one wouldn't shut. No, but I shut and I put a poem in there. She gave me a poem, Rainbow. She wrote it.

No, no, it's a doggy poem. She's, that's she's a hack by why's the hack? No, but that's what I was. No, she's a hack, buddy. Yo, I'm telling you do a podcast about this thing. Then Kevin would have just lied that he did all that and just fucking a doggy. Pong, where you going? Like a doggy.

Rainbow bridge. Who's this? Hey, who is it? How? Who is this? Hello? Hello? It's kind of just like for men on behalf of the New York police Who is this? Hello Hello, it's kind of just like for men on behalf of the New York police

I'm doing a radio show right now have to call me back, okay? Hi, how are you? Why you buried your dog in the back? I just want to know why you buried your dog in the back yard. It's scared to shit out of me. I'm gonna think it's... So anyways, I give it to the cops. But they never stop calling. So anyways, he was actually in a beautiful condition. I took him out, I swore, I put the toy in,

I wrapped him up in a beautiful blanket, then I wrapped him in another blanket, and I put him into the dirt. I took him out of the, because if I left him in the pocket ainer it would have took like fuck away yeah would have took 500 years from to go back into the earth I'm gonna pull it up and I had that fresh seal so I um I put him in in the earth and I said a prayer firm and I made a little little thing I was it was a beautiful thing

and it was I was very cuz I felt like shit like I was like I mean, and it was, I was, I was very, because I felt like shit, like I was like, I fucked up, but it was out of pure, not knowing what to do. Two fuck out. So if your dog dies, take the time, take his, get a blanket, put it in there, give him his toy, whatever you get to do, and put him, don't put him in a container that can't biodegrade, put him in the urus, so now he's gone.

Why didn't you want to accremeat him? Not him. It's 100 bucks. No, it's not gonna be a fireplace. We made it. Some people stuffed their animals when they died. We creamed. You know, there's this you creamed. Yeah, we did too. And then we put him in the ground and then there's a nice rose bush. We creamed on it. We all just jerk off on the drive. Come right. Well, there's actually a company called

Selfie Trates in Toronto that if you give them, they'll take, you got to give them, they'll tell you how many pictures, like, you know, whatever, 30 pictures of your dog in certain angles, they'll do a 3D, and it's amazing, a 3D doll of your dog. Yeah, yeah, I've seen that actually. Yeah, thank you.

Thank you, this. They're amazing. It's amazing. They do do people too. But they don't need your dog to come into the studio for it. You can just send them pictures, and they'll send you a 3D little thing, exactly of your dog. They're actually sending me a doll of me.

When I was up in Toronto, I did one. I'm giving it to my wife and kids, so when I'm on the road, they'll have a doll of me. Kevin, are you all right? Yeah man, what did you get at that? Kevin, when he's out there, he just looks like he's about to murder me. No, I just can't believe the ship people though. What are you talking about? I don't know. What's the closure? I'm not a dog person anyway but I'm not a 3-day dog person I guess either. You just get another dog. You wouldn't get a 3-day doll of yourself? Never. Come on. I would punch a 3D dolly yourself. Never. Come on.

I would punch it in the face after every bad said. I would be beaten up. I don't know. I just realized if I had a twin, I probably wouldn't fucking, it wouldn't be good. Because I just get agitated with yourself. Yeah, it was my twin. Well, you don't like dogs.

I don't like dogs. We don't have dogs growing up. We had ten kids and no dogs. We had no dogs. We had one. No dogs. We had one dog one time and nobody would take it for a walk because it was like, I'm not telling you take it. It was fighting over who wouldn't take it

and then it would just shit in the house. My dad made us take it back. Take it back to where? To wherever the fuck we got at the ASPCA or whatever. You don't boy. Yeah, having a dog is a commitment, man. I'm not gonna do it again. My kids want a dog, but I don't know if I want a dog because you got to pick up after the dog. I don't like that. Three times a boy. Yeah, having a dog is a commitment, man. I'm not going to do it again. My kids want a dog, but I don't know if I want a dog,

because you got to pick up after the dog. I don't like that. Three times a day. Yeah, I don't like that. When Max is older, you're not going to get a dog? Uh, no. No. No, I'm going to get him a fish.

Tell you, we take him to the Ghetto Zoo all the time, which is the pet's dog. What's the pet's dog? Yeah, I don't take care. We call it the Ghetto Zoo. When we take him, and he looks at fish, he's like, fish? He's like, cat-ool, you know? Lizard snakes are good.

Yeah, he's fucking... Like a pie on a python? Like a brown means python? And then... Of course you get it. Now he's a fiat in the mouth. Now he's a boot. I don't think that's all close.

He's exotic animals. That Cody was wearing was a fucking poaching chili. He had the fucking nine years. But then you can feed them like twice every six weeks and they shit twice. I'm not getting the fucking snake. I live in the fucking way, Shester. You can't fucking the Harlem snakes are dumb. Snakes are dumb.

Now when you feed the snake though, it's awesome. And you got gotta get a thick carpet and you have to if you know fuck hordes I just have a snake. You can't be a guy with a snake. I don't fuck hordes All right, what's in the chat room give me some chat chat. Oh, we got a couple questions for Dante. Yeah Yeah, I bet you do What's up with the rings? Why is your head small? One fifty a session for Dante. Tony Sal asks, how many do the salmon colored shirts help with the bitches? Absolutely. Anything that you're confident. And me and Kev talked about this. That what if you can have a mile out of the saddest enough. I mean, Kev talk about this is that if you don't understand

what your value is, then women don't, they won't know what your value is. So when you have the confidence to wear whatever you're comfortable with, then they. I don't remember that. I remember I asked you, which hand should I hit them with? I didn't go back in. I didn't go back in. I remember I asked you which hand should I hit them with? I'm gonna go back in.

Which hand? As a pimp do you hit them with your hand? Your use or the hand you don't use? Hand you don't use. Your deck. Right? What's ever closer? What'd you say your deck? Oh my god.

I like her. Yeah, I know. I know you mean. You can't pimp her. I guarantee you can't pimp her. I pimp your mama on a slow Tuesday. Oh, Jesus. Ha ha ha ha.

It's not just died. Don't take him on. It's today too. Anybody can be pimped. Yeah, my mother's 60 though. Come on. I can probably take your blood. She's on a down swing.

That's why I can get a, I can get a while. She's watching cathol just fucking finger proper. That's not a high man. My mom. Any woman can be pimped. Yeah, my mom had to fight. My mom had 10 kids. She could be pimped. She was. What else you got? 10 kids. Tapsca 33 asks, Dante, do you fight with your jewelry on?

No, I mean, I would. Of course you have to. I would take 84 minutes. I know. They might get a drop on you. I hit a guy. I hit a guy on my ring and collapse. I hit a guy on a collapsed storm. and I hit a guy in a collapse storm One of my rings collapsed on my crust on my finger. I had to cut the ring off my finger Try not to imagine getting hit by you can be by your face looks like a fucking kids a zoo book

horrifying You don't like don't like don't like don't like don't like don't like don't like don't have afraid of them But you said you know you're you just said you said you don't like them. No, I didn't like Dante. I don't like Dante. I love Dante. I'm afraid of him. But you said you don't like him. No, I didn't like that. I don't like being here. To me before you were like, remember that time? Dante, that's not true. Obviously, Bobby's doing his dumb thing. That's my dumb thing. You know, the dumb thing is bullying. I'm not bullying. I'm trying to be honest.

You're a trouble. I'm a troll. Bullie, man. Hey, man. Stop throwing bullying around nerd. That hurts my field. That's uncle. I like Lewis last week. He goes, yeah, I go, stop throwing bully around nerd That hurts my feel Lewis last week and he goes yeah, I go you're a bully too because yeah, and I fucking own it I'm gonna own my bullie shit. Let's see dumb Lewis by the way. There's some show going around Yeah, that's some game show What's my audition for some game show? He's like watch the sizzle reel will go out together and the show

It's like jackass but two guys where they're wearing a fucking electrocute you caller and then they kick each other in the balls and then they play paintball gets the army reserves like what fucking part of you you're a bit knowing me for 10 years thinks I want to be anything to do with this fucking show basically the show is this you do rock paper scissors and who has the liver loses has to walk home like 50 miles that's one of them yeah but one of them was playing paintball with Navy seals and I'm like why would you think I'd rather get a fuck I record record series the rest of my life it's like you'd be perfect is it Lewis is ideal now Lewis's idea was a podcast comedy club

It's gonna be great to it in the dark You all podcasts all the time No one's ever done it exactly that's a game show for people without bits You're electrocute each other. I'll do material. Thanks What are you what else you got in there? Last question is for Joe. Yes. John Amato asks, how you feel about the editing of your half-hour special? I didn't watch it, but it sounds like he hates it. Well, he said that the editing was cut off abruptly or something like that. Oh, that's because he probably, something he said dumb dumb.

It sounds like he DVR'd it, but it went long. So his DVR probably cut off as I went out. I didn't see it, but I'm sure it was fine. It did cut off if you DVR head to cut over Yeah, yeah This happens all the time when start late and then I get cut saves are the same thing But on you we tape yours Sam's ending was there right yeah, yeah, by the way I'm such a I didn't want to I love Bob DeBono I didn't mean to just come off like I don't I was mad at Bob DeBono. I just mad at the club I'm trying not to look at you. I love to go. I don't want you to flip out of me

Fucking bully me. I don't mind if you look at me when you Yeah, I'm talking about you You tell this dog died. What do you want me to do? It's not staring to my eyes when you're telling the story But you're dead dog. Why are you streaming at me right now? Because I'm stuck because you know look at that. What do about your dead dog. Why are you streaming at me right now? Because I'm streaming. Because you know, look at that. What do you like about Bob DeBono? Yeah.

I fucking hate him. No way. Dude, why? Because he's always peace. Go on his Facebook thing. It's always him promoting his shows. And nobody fucking goes. He's like, he has this new picture.

I'm not a Sam New York. Nobody gets, it's always gets three likes. I go, you know what he gives a shit about your fucking stupid show. He has a show that he packs out called, I think it was called. Yeah, a character flaw. Yeah, it's only a fact. Yeah, but it's probably open,

Mike was bringing their loser friends. Yeah, that's one of this. But, but, it's a great guy. It's a very great guy. He's a pain in the ass and he fucking takes a shuttle home in three in the morning with Mexicans. What the fuck? Very specific.

I don't even know. Holy. I know. You didn't even know that existed. I didn't know that time that Bob DiBono. What is a shuttle? What is a shuttle? He lives in like Ramsey, New Jersey.

And he can't the only way to get home. That shuttle. He takes the, he drives to like a spot in New Jersey because they don't want to drive into the city or whatever. But if he works late, then there's no bosses. So he has to take the shuttle. There's like a shuttle with no seat belts with Mexicans who work at like restaurants or whatever.

Yeah. So and they just take, it's like a fucking jit me through the tunnel. I've taken it. And anyway, he says he walks a mile to his car. I'm like, you a little little bit of a little bit of money. I'm going to get a little bit of money. I'm going to get a little bit of money.

I'm going to get a little bit of money. I'm going to get a little bit of money. I'm going to get a little bit of money. I'm going to get a little bit of money.

I'm going to get a little bit of money. I'm going to get a little bit of money. I'm going to get a little bit of money. I'm going to get a little bit of money.

I'm going to get a little bit of money. I'm going to get a little bit of money. I'm going to get a little bit of money. I'm going to get a little bit of money.

I'm going to get a little bit of money. I'm going to get a little bit of money. I'm going to get a little bit of money. I'm going to get a little bit of money. I'm going to get a little bit like practically free I think it's like a dollar or two dollars and it'll drive you wherever you want to go Did you imagine seeing here on a jittnie? Yeah, that would be better jittnie, but I'm saying I don't think that's happening Because Bob would have mentioned her if she was on his jittnie Bob's a bad guy. It's not like a sexual thing Bob's a fucking MMA MMA Jitsu black belt Bob the bone. Yeah Bob the bone was a Brazilian Jitsu. I think a black belt if I'm not brown brown is in grassy is yeah that's I stand by what I said about

all right he needs he needs spots of the cellar so he won't fuck with me yeah but no she just doesn't use him him anymore. So that's off the table. Why, she don't use him? Yeah, so he can't sit over his leverage. He's gonna say, you can't give up. I thought he's still working. I'm gonna snap your neck. I thought he still worked there.

I thought he still worked there. I'm just kidding, I was trying to scare you. He's not a slave boss. Does the best boss in the business? I actually had him. Yeah, I don't have him. I actually had Bonilla once and Voss couldn't make it, so I had DiBono come in and V, I said,

you have to do 10 minutes as Voss on stage and you have to be Voss the holder. You can never. He doesn't have any problem with that. It was really funny. He's funny here as Voss and he is as himself. No questions. No questions.

You're back and listen to that. You're Louis Ferranda? No. Dead one. What does Lewis sound like? And so he actually yeah, people. People say, I'm doing you. Yeah. Same one can do Lewis, Miranda Mike Swinnies, he's a dope, good Lewis, Miranda, come on to people with those.

Lewis, for him is actually the, what is he? It's a book. General manager. General manager of Caroline's Comedy Club. And he hasn't seen a show since 1987. I've never seen him there. Never, like never. He's there during a dive. So I'm sure he hasn't seen a show since 1987. I've never seen him there at night, never, like never. He's there during the day. So I'm sure he doesn't want to show. He goes by what Kenny says or whatever. Who's Kenny? I don't know. You know, Kenny Kenny's been there for longer than you. Kenny's one of the hot surgery. Five or you know

the pass. Who's the actor that plays Luther on the BBC show? He just, he just, Edris Elber. Edris Elber used to be a fucking door guy at Caroline's. Really? Yeah. I remember fucking coming down. I remember seeing him. Door guy at Caroline's.

I remember coming downstairs one night, and for the Christmas party, when I first moved to York, and I was like, he was like, you know, oh, I pulled me, go in, you know what I mean? He let me go in, because I, I don't think it was on the list. was like, he was like, you know, all right, Bobby go in, you know I mean he let me go in because I I think it was on the list. There's a guy Bobby, you know, he says and I was like thanks He's such a cool dude. Yeah, fucking superstar. He might be bond Yeah, yeah, they're trying to make it a black bond. Yeah, they might have him as bond. That's a whole Really you think I think he'll be good as bodish. I think he'd be really good as bond. I love him. Yeah, I love him I didn't wish what's your favorite bond

That's the last one. I like him. My favorite bond is the bond between a man and his dog Shelby Calbee Shelby that's a fucking car you at all. I fucked up my own joke. I shouldn't give it out to him That's a fucking car you had at all. I fucked up my own joke. I shouldn't have given out to him. That's a fucking car you had at all. I fucked up my own joke. I shouldn't have given out to him.

Point that sky bar. They got that, Kelly. Well, because he said him, but it's a reality. It's like, you're going to back it up, you know? It's so funny now that it is, I mean, the world is changing. I mean, the back bar, that's right. That's right. It's sexy.

We're going to probably have a woman bond at some point, right? I mean, legally, I mean legally me by law you have to But you only get paid 70% Okay, is it gonna be a point where like you know like is now it's like minorities and there's not enough women and I have a gay bond That would right never have a gay I think bought his gay I think bond is fucking I like his broad and he I like P.S. broads and he. I like P.S.

He was really good. He was the Michael Keaton of fucking Bond. He was like that era, you know. I thought it was good. Who do you like him? Him or Sean Connery? Sean Connery. I like him better than Sean Connery.

As I'm younger I think it's because of the generation. This is coming from a guy, I don't know if you know this about the Croscopo. The famous movie is National Treasure. Oh, sorry Nicholas Cage You might be wondering because he's seen good fellows of the gods. I have yes he has Yeah, so if we could just mute him anytime Such a movies come here's a invisible map and the Declaration of Independence brilliant Treasure brilliant. That's not true, right? That's not true.

These are all true. Yes, that move is really good. This favorite bond is Hugh Grant. The Mr. Bean. Oh my God. I'm holding you. How old are you? 30?

That's not true. You can be 11 and have natural treasure. Not the good move. I mean, I have natural treasure, not the good movie. I mean, I like natural treasure, but it was definitely not one of the best movies at all ever. As it was.

I think Craig was my favorite bond, even before Sean Connery. Because Sean Connery, that error, was a little, could be a little cheesy here in there and he was a little too hairy But that's not the time no, but he would I know he would The other guy was good after him. Teddy other Roger Moore He was last Harry he was gay bond Roger Moore was gay. Balloon. I don't like this pussy pussy. He was like real punny more than

more than Sean Connery. This last one. I didn't like. I like that. Yeah, you're Craig. Yeah, I don't like him as a man. I love him. He's just too. He's too big and muscular. Like bonds like a swab guy. Jesus. Did you see the last one? Yeah. Fucking Batista was a great. He was good. He was good. Holy shit. Batista is fucking a great

actor. Yeah, he did. But he's rolled. He had two lines in that movie. I know he did the more, but he did great. He was. He was. He was the guy. He was there. The thumbnails was kind of like an homage to to jaws. Yeah, absolutely. Metal thumbnails. Pokemon. But he should have came back one more time. Yeah, I thought he would add one more time. And you know, how he usually, after everything, kind of settles. I think Daniel Craig was my favorite because he was in shape. He was a badass. He was unconventionally good looking, like Sean Connery.

But I mean, Sean Connery wasn't big. He was for that error. I mean, look at Superman. He was more than it wasn't big either though. Yeah, but look at Superman at that error when Sean de película, y un sincindia aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás! Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de madrida, Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros.

Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. come. Man, that would talk in. Let me explain. Superman is a man. No, no need. I have the ending, my son. No, no, no. No, I think it jerked off by a guy. By a Superman.

It's not gay, but Superman. His name was, last name, Mayo. He was one of the actors to play Superman, one of the first Superman, and he ran a health spa and a gym and he would give massages, like acupuncture, but weird thing, you'd have to go in and sit with him in his office, this weird dark office. Like a holistic dude kind of thing.

Yeah, and he got all the stuff. No, he'd just manipulate you, and he manipulated me. Like psychologically? No, no, no you and he manipulated me. Like psychologically? No, no, no, no. Just my body. Sounds like fun. Like you, skinny.

I was in shape, Bobby, yeah, yeah. But he manipulated my body. Have you ever had a man massage me? I had one by accident at a... He went that happens. I remember, I swear to God, I went to get a massage at a, you know, those Asian places and the guy was like, okay, come in,

he put me in the bed and shut the curtain and usually, you know, lady comes in, I took my stuff off and was lying there and then around 20 minutes in, I looked down, I just saw guy feet and woman flip-flops. No. Just these feet hanging off the flip-flops and daisies coming out of the toe

and I looked up and I was like, what the fuck? He out of the toe. And I looked up and I was like, what the fuck, he goes, we busy. And I was like, yeah, I gotta get my chip. I went to massage place one time and I didn't get a happy ending but I got one the last time I was there. Yeah. So I was like, what's up?

And she kept working like, she kept giving me like a real massage. I'm like, okay, good in everything but I gotta go soon. I don't know. But then she's like, she kept giving me like a real massage. I'm like, okay, good in everything, but I gotta go soon. I don't know. But then she's like, and then I was like, I was like, you know, moving my body, let her know like, okay, where are my hot spots were?

And she's like, go to your knees and open up your asshole. Yeah. No, but then she's like, which is like, are you okay? Are you okay? I'm like, are you okay? Let's fuck it. Let's wrap this shit up.

But I think it was the same thing. They were busy and she was and when I went in there She was doing the laundry. So I think she didn't know what it was, you know, she was the same girl though No, definitely not the same way. I that happened to me when I used to go to those places I got to make sure I do time and date correctly time and date correctly. Like, yes. No, no, no. No, I remember that. Yeah, it's awful because you get the later that doesn't jerk you off and you fucked.

Because now you're in there, you just get a massage and you get a headache when you leave, right? You get all fucking tense out. You get real annoyed. Yeah, I had to grow, actually take my hand and wrap it around my dick and say, you do. I was like, no. Fuck, I can do this at home. But she kept like, she kept her hand around my hand and was pushing my butt so I was

fucking my own like our hand. No, gone. This is weird. No tip. What did you get it? Did you get it to do it? No, no, but she was she was almost like she was she was too young and it was just like I'm like all right okay, I get it. I guess she was too young. How old was she? No, she was almost like she was almost like I gotta do my

homework. It was almost like she was going to massage school you know she was like give me a good massage but it was like hurting me she was like hurting my back and whatever. And like, give me like a real good leg massage. I'm like, no, talk to the other girl. Okay. Talk to Shanyin the back. She knows, she knows how to get you big tip. Oh, it's you do, you do leave fucking furious.

You leave, you leave really angry and your head hurts. And then did you go to another place after you just jerk off? I had to go get the kids. and furious. You leave really angry and your head hurts. And then did you go to another place after you just jerk off? No, I had to go get the kids. Oh, you got to know. Oh, my God. I've never been to a massage parlour. Me neither. Me neither. Kevin Brennan, me neither. You've never been to one. No.

You've never been to one. They won't let you in. They won't. No. Yeah, they might not. I remember we went to my first one I ever went to was in Philly. I was with Patrice and Vinnie Favarito. And it was my first road gig. And we went up to a massage place. And they were like, no, no, no, close, close. And me and Vinnie were like, what?

They told you open tool for in the morning, like, no, no, no, close, we closed. And then we turn around, we saw Patrice behind us, and we were like, dude, can you step out for a second? As soon as he walked down the stairs, I was like, oh, the door, come on, they come in, quick, quick, quick. And they let us in. We were just, they were scared of the black dude.

Oh, black guys. That's racism, you know. Yeah. No. It's nice to work at the phone company. They wouldn't let me in the house to fix people's phones. Really? They'll bring the bell and be like,

no, my phone's working. I'm like, I don't know how to all your rings, that. Yeah, I mean, the horn. Some of them, now my phone's working. I'm good.

I'm gonna miss, I'm gonna missage once and another girl came in. One was working on me and the other one came in eating cereal, and they just stood there and had a conversation over me while I was trying to relax. And you know when someone's talking with cereal and the clunk and the milk,

I just like, you can't even hear it. Sorry. Get off of the gun, I'm trying to get tingles in the back of my neck. The clunk and the milk, that should be a comedy duo. Your hair looks great, Kelly. Oh, thank you, Kelly. You've been done.

I washed it. What's that cut? I bet that cost $500 to have your hair look like that. Why would you say that? These women haircuts What? Banana knew there was something to eat but what are you talking about? My girl she's you know she's she's about to do TV and she's the little she's wants to She's no one money so I was like I'll get your hair while I get your hair cut 300 bucks them. I thought it was gonna be 80 bucks No, no, no, no, 340. Yeah no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no $40 bucks for your haircut. That's it fucking crazy. I got a strong mind

Your hair cut Who cuts your hair? You do I do yeah you shave your own head shave it in the shower That's crazy. I got head blade juice. It's called it's a Bought nice. What if you cut your own fucking stupid head? No, I'm a fucking expert at it He's been in a lot of you have a mirror. Yeah, I got a mirror I'm a fucking expert at it. He's been in a lot. Do you have a mirror? Yep, I got a mirror. Just feel it.

Just a fogless mirror in my head. Just feel it. Yeah. This should be the number one feminist issue. What's that? Haircut price. No, it's a scam. They scan them because they're so used to paying a lot.

So they can pay a lot, Joe. It's a lot of money. Yeah, a friend of mine is gay and she has a really short haircut. And she tries to go into a barbast as you can get the $12 haircut and they refuse to serve it. So she has to go to the chick one where they're like 70 bucks. And she's like, it's just shaved. And then long at the top, it's nothing.

She's going to ask for that. Just me, it's $300. $300 is a lot of money. That's, that's, that's, I think she got a picture. Where she going? Where she going? Where she going? And there's a story.

I think it was 240 and then it says in the city. Yeah, but this is a thing. I think it was 240 and then it says in the city. Yeah, this is the thing. Hang on, hang on. So you gave her three, how much? 380, 340, 360. It was something like I came around with those. She got it.

I was north of 300, which would put a foam bill. She got dinner, cosmos, I don't forget. I'm tired. It's cut, it's layered, it's swirled, it's sloped. It's a looped 300. It's a looped 300. Hang on, hang on. It's a big day though. Yeah, dude. I'm fine with it. I know it's not the money issue. I just feel bad. These women This is crazy. 300 bucks for a haircut. And the thing that end there. We got a way and she would have bought it. Yeah, you don't have to do that

She would have gone to an invader salon, which is a really good salon if she had you can go you can get it one done for 180 But I'm gonna work out with like green hair and fucking shitty bangs and stuff like you gotta spend you have to do it. It's your sensitive. Who does your hair Lauren? This chicken jersey and gondar. How much did it? Like one a hundred one fifty but she recently got like a promotion so now she's like charging more on like different level. Isn't three forty a lot of money for. I've never paid more than one fifty. That's a lot of money, but do you get yours hair colored? Yeah, it should be more than 180 bucks. I got a number But see the with that for four hours

Let's tell us not four hours into my hand, but I'm saying three Four hours three hundred one thousand a lot of the city. It's a lot. All right. I went high guys High for fucking comedic value. It was 260 but I went high for comedy. That's still expensive though. It's $1.5 over. And also my hair is 14 plus dip. How much is it? When you get you, when you give your money, why your wife's money for the haircut, how much is cost? I don't know. She puts it on the credit card. So, but I know it's my wife has a big hair. So, it's a nightmare.

She's got to get it. But your wife's Dominican, no. It's something like that. Yeah. She's got to take care. So, I could see chocolate. Black people. They don't have to worry about it.

They don't have to worry about it. They don't have to worry about it. And people can't cut it. She has to go to like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, Dominican. She goes to the many kids. Yeah. But she has to get, so many know how, has to know how to cut it or else they fuck up But they got a straight knit they got a cut it blow straight in it

Okay, I mean my wife used to be an esthetician and she did what now? Esthetician that stuff's dogs right? She does pop zits and waxes women And she used to do You know of a jina you know, she would go and wax. She fucking assholes and 80 bucks. Like 80 bucks. No more than that.

To razz wax a pussy and an asshole and a mustache. Yeah, that's an important job. Hair is one thing, but the wax and the pussy. That was the saddest day of my life, because now my wife, you know, she hasn't worked since we had the baby. She just stayed home, mom. But I walked in, we were going to dinner one night, and I walked in the night before,

and she was on the floor, like racking her own pussy, because she didn't wanna spend the money. She didn't wanna spend the money, and I was like, this is, just go, we're gonna do it. Don't tell yourself. Don't tell yourself. I do it myself.

You do? Yeah. In the mirror, right? Waxing, yeah. I don't believe you. You videotape that for us. I'll agree with that, believe you. But that's not fair. But I don't believe you video tape that for us But women don't have to do that. That's on if we're hot a guy will fuck you could have leg hair You can still get late. I got it. It's nice. We appreciate it

Yeah, I don't know I mean I mean long probably have a lot ahead in there. You got we Never shaved down there, you know, that's horrific. You don't shave you pussy. Oh wax it. I would never shave That's terrifying. I got electric Good Kelly's pussy looks like a koala bear pocket Babies in there Your clit that's painful. Yeah, yeah, I go to these okay really good body shave It'll even fordoze the shave your ball. I fill up this called Phillips body groomer.

Is it the one that you can take in the shower? Yes, but it has it's got the foil and the Trimmers on on the sides and it just I always cut my nut with those. Yeah, but this I have you guys shaving your balls. Is that a health thing? Because if you wanted to suck on your balls, you want to shave them. You want to be sure? I was out of it. they're not sucking on my balls

yeah other words out of my I got hairy balls and everybody will suck on them this guy will at least only 28 when you when you don't shave your balls you have a long fucking old Chinese chin hairs I call them Ben's guys. I call them Ben Franklins. Yeah, you don't want to suck on those? I don't want to suck. I call them flitzing.

Hang on what you say. What'd you say? Why do I want my balls suck? I don't like a ball. I don't like a ball thing. No, I don't like a ball grab. Maybe why would you not want to pull those things? If I can just tickle, that feels weird.

I don't like painful. Yeah. And you would get back to sex. Hey, we got a come on all. You're just afraid. Oh my dick sucks. I check it out. I don't know where everybody settle down.

That would fucking you know what dice plate that you know what dice plate. It's a set. I remember his HBO. I'll tell you goes. It's a set. Work it like I really want to know why you work them together. Why don't you want your ball suck?

You never had it. I have had it, but it's painful and then it's painful since she's doing it too hard Yeah, I don't want anything near the balls. Why is it painful very sensitive balls? Why is it painful? Why I mean I can't answer that you need mr. Wizard in here She get your balls checked out if you ball if your balls getting sucked in licked and it hurts now I don't know I don't like it too much, but it's not It's not a really miserable area to me. You're balls. You might as well lick my kneecap. Underneath your balls is not. I know underneath the ball. That's a

difference. Oh, no, no, that's what I mean. I can't like bottom film. Like underneath the balls. Not the ball itself. Don't put like putting I don't like when a girl puts up my ball in her mouth. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. We are, we're saying sucking the balls. Licking the underneath the nut around the nut and then the near the asshole. You can pop my ball in your mouth if you like.

I'm gonna get shit for this, but I have too much respect for my wife to be to make her lick my balls. Why are you gonna get shit for that? I feel like it's like, yeah, a man fucking lick my balls. I'm like, don't lick my balls, it's gross, it's weird. I'm like an oral sex situation, but I can't ball. And how long have you been with your wife? Four and a half years.

Yeah, in another five years, you'll be like, lick my balls. Ah, but there you go. You do everything you like. Can you lick my balls? Have we tried that? Can you lick my balls with a hat on? Because we've never done that. Is there any way you could fuck me with something?

No. No. By the way. By the way. You're putting stuff on the refrigerator. Can you lick my balls more? I mean, it's like fucking ridiculous. We're not going for Lenny to be here.

Lenny, I'm sure Lenny feels the exact same way. Lenny doesn't even like his dick sucks. Oh my god. You have to suck Lenny's dick and you have to be winning. And the Yankees have to be winning. I'm fucking creeped. Do you think that's bad that he doesn't want his wife? Is she soon to be out?

Well, I mean, it's your wife. You're supposed to be intimate with her. Why wouldn't you want her to please you? I mean Just not by having to look at my testicles. Yeah, but I'm so aware I see if you don't like it I'm not gonna wash them Get some whipped cream show I should smell better why would hate food? Trade off if you're looking your balls now I can't get her to you know now you if you like look my balls

Now I lose you know Where's this dress? You know what I want to say about this? I don't what are you talking about? You guys are clueless three up and 40 you young guys are clueless. Oh, fuck are you talking about it? It's a trade off suck my nut suck it What are you mouth? What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? What do you want?

What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? What do you want?

What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? What do you want?

What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? So much better No, you piss shave your pits. I'm seeing your not your armpits. I trim my pits I won't say it down now if you lose that crazy. You don't want it fucking I'm gonna raise my hand on my show You don't shave why do you shave your armpits though? So does the smell? But isn't there no I think he means like I'll trim my pits where it gets too long you trim it down a little bit

Not like shave it all the way though the razor. I trim Shave everything you all your body here's gone. No, I'm so bad. I have a little chest here But not I groom it. I like man-stay-pit. I keep here just around Donut I want my my body my upper torso to look like a kids like a bullseye What else you got? Jojo Soft says, where's the bomb, Dana? I've heard Bobby Telafi jokes that were buried without a toy. That's a dog breath.

That's a nice dog breath. That's not bad. Sorry, I'm not kidding. I actually wanted to block him. Blocked that guy right now. Okay, no, I'm kidding. That was a bad one. No, it was pretty good. It was good. What else you get? The fact that you you you know you pick that joke you're a fucking

pun. It's a pretty good. That's a good term though. That joke was buried without a toy. It's not bad. Okay, what do you got? Jordan says Scopo Scopo is going to say Stallone should have should have played Superman. I'll tell you can I say something about that real quick? You knowone should have played Superman. I'll tell you, can I say something about that real quick? You know who should have played Superman? I'd rather you know actually. And there's a great documentary about it. I believe called Superman Lives. I think the chatroom can correct me.

Nicholas Cage. Yes. Five seconds away from Kevin Smith. Smith wrote it. No, they took that away from them. They rewrote it. But he is in the documentary Kevin did write the first draft helped on it but they they redid it. He was in seconds away from being a Superman long hair and like this dark evil fucked up Superman. That would have been great. Not evil not evil women the new one coming No, no, no, no, no, no Yeah, what's that yeah like in the 90s?

Wow when Nick Cage was fucking huh? No, what he was in a witch hunter. Yeah, whatever he fucking happens every time somebody's Goast writer Yeah, he fucked that movie up for me what ghost writer was my cartoon that I read really yeah I love fucking ghost writer Rider. Ghost Rider? He, a guy in a motorcycle that turns hot, but he goes, he tells Satan to fuck off. He goes fuck off if I'm doing my own thing. And then what? Somebody has to.

He keeps his eyes at dick. That's what I like, didn't he? He just was like, Satan fucking. I don't think she'd from Satan in a man. Well, my own thing world. You talk about you or the show the ghost right? That was my that what did you read? What did you read when you were I had silver surfer and I had X man and I did Captain America and Iron Man. I did.

Ghost Rider son of Satan also told his father to go fuck off. And Doc Strange. Wow, you're a weird little black. Yeah. Because Dr. Strange was like a pimpy. Control people's minds. Oh my God. So sad. You know, you are. X-Men, what's that about? Bruce Jenner? Put it in. Without a toy. Got it. Got it. I folks.

Oh, gee. That's a good one. Anything else? That one guy that's in the chat room. How many? Is that it? You just keep going to him. Joe, Joe, jizzle.

You read me the latest fucking chat room one the latest one mega tech guy says Tim Burton directed Thank you. That's right. That's right. And the movie got canned because Batman forever bombed in the box Oh, that is true. Whoa. This was Batman forever. That was one with Jim Kerry. Jim Kerry. Yeah, too face. I love that Batman I love that Batman. I love it! I love it! Oh, I'll tell you what, this movie would have been epic. I think it would have been epic. With Nick Cage as Superman, at the prime of Nick Cage, how great would it have happened?

He would have did some weird shit with Superman. He wouldn't have been as fucking clean cut. We got the clean cut Superman every time. It's like fucking enough with this bum-chinned asshole. How bad is this one look? It looks terrible. Yeah, but look, I'm gonna watch it because, but it does. It's like, first of all, Joe Rogan just wrote a big piece on this on his Instagram, which

was kind of on the money, I would say. You wrote a piece on Instagram? You wrote a big long thing, a blog, almost like a mini blog on Instagram. Weird. Yeah, you can do that. I didn't know and He about it's like how the fuck Superman can fly laser eyes Can can can't be killed can fly around so breath so fast. He can

Reverse time. He's Superman and then there's a he goes then there's a rich guy. Yeah, with gadgets It's like how the fuck can he fight Superman? How is this to suspend reality? Well, they had that whole thing with him and the contingency thing, where he had Batman knew he was in the Justice League and he knew how to beat. He had a plan for every Justice League member, how he would beat them. Okay. for every justice-leave member, how he would beat them. Okay, so, and that was, he was just a genius, and he would just figure out Batman.

Yeah, Batman. He's a genius. Yeah, he's a genius, and he had a, there was a whole cont, there's nobody know about this, the whole contingency plan. I don't know about it all, can I go now? Oh, yes, people, you know, this is the fucking worst thing I've ever listened to.

Don't take talking about how Batman's a genius, okay? I got fucking kids, I got fucking real shit to worry about. You know what? Jesus, please don't hold on to the fuck guys. You're out of balance. I rather lick Joe Liz Balls, than listen to Dante say another fucking thing about what a genius Batman is.

I'm a grown fucking man, I gotta fucking pay my electric bill when I go home. So shut the fuck up, don't you? Don't just respect you and your dumb muscles. We're gonna wrap up on that note. We're gonna wrap this fucking show up. We're wrapping up, it's right there. We're doing, we're gonna go through all the stuff. I'm just gonna take another couple minutes, but.

Well, how long we been doing? We, an hour and a half. We were late. Oh boy, we used to take breaks and then we're gonna long have we been doing? An hour and an hour and a half? A little late. Oh boy, we used to take breaks and then it got a great hour. No, no, no. We just went right through it. Oh, late. We just take a break in an hour, but I just went right through it.

Fuck it, it was fun. This just went. So let's just go through the, let's go through it right now. What do you got coming up? Don't go, I got a thank so go to somebody else. What did you say? I said, I got a thank so go to somebody else. What did you say? I said, I got a thank so go to somebody else. All right, we'll do the fucking matter before I didn't bring up back.

No, I know I was going to fucking do a, when I got coming up, I got a told you I got a fucking go home and get my kids. Why is going to school? Your wife's going to school? It's going to night school. So I got to watch the kids tonight. That's a dangerous thing right there. Why? No, she's going to school. She's going to night school. So I got to watch the kids tonight. That's a dangerous thing right there. Why? No, she's going to work for it.

Why starts to get hopes and dreams? I know. She starts achieving goals. You're done. She's already talking about it professor. Yeah, dude. Fuck. You're done.

So I got to watch my kids tonight. You're a whole bunch of the kids. Well, she's getting a fucking future career. So she can get the fuck out. No, she's going to be a translator. She's bilingual. Yeah, that's that's huge money fuck huh is it yeah good then I don't care what you do what language

Spanish and what that's it and English oh you do Arabic you're fucking huge money right now right maybe I'll look into that not a front winds be out yeah what do you think it come on it's ridiculous what he said I mean look everybody's for it I'm I'm you can't help go yeah but then you like right that's ridiculous you can't it's against I guess what what's against kicking a whole race of people no I don't let people in don't let any more people in do we figure out what's going on that can close the bar the bar here the bars closed the bars closed the road he did you get things. You can't you can't know

He can't but he can say and then he can win the election then he can get a will that he can take it as far as he can take it Yeah, cuz they're comparing it they're comparing the Jews the Jews with the Nazis to the Jews Which is a joke because the Jews were trying to kill people the Jews were like innocent victims It's a weird that they're considered a computer. It's a fucking joke. It's a bad analogy. It's a bad analogy. Oh, giving a sea Kyle.

No, it's wrong. I think on the Jews were the Jews being had him sea Kyle. And that's just Facebook exaggerating. I swear I think on Facebook. It's like, come on. No, it's bullshit. The Muslims are a serious threat to all of us.

There are not the Muslims. The radical radical. Okay, but we don't know. No, they're not wearing different jersey. The Muslims because they're not wearing different jersey. So we don't know who's who. So we're telling you who's who we got a

fucking no. They have even if they were assimilated and that they're not radical Muslims. All they have to do is feel that may I'm not Muslim enough that I'm not Radical enough so even with Catholics and Christians they go in and out of being more religious and not but when a Muslim King when a Muslim goes deeper into Islam it could mean to kill and for the Catholic Catholics We don't kill we don't kill we get we

sometimes we skip some day man we yeah we fuck yeah but not like this not like this yes we did not not not not not TV but nobody know about it they're talking for attention but they're doing it they're doing it they're doing it for attention they're doing it to go out as heroes it's not that it's not that it's

we it's not it's plus the news to they can't show it on the news because then another guy's gonna do it because of all the fucking attention that they get It's not the attention. I got to take the fucking pan train and they live over there. Fuck you all I By Kevin. I'll see you later. No, he's got to go. I knew he had to go. I but else you got anything to promote? Yeah, I'm at the cell with this weekend. Oh Okay Christ I buddy Kevin Brandon everybody. What are you on Twitter? anything to promote? Yeah, I'm at the cell this weekend. Ugh. Okay. Fucking Christ. Alright buddy. Kevin Brennan everybody. What are you on Twitter? So these people that disagree with you? No, I can't. I can't.

What is your Twitter? I can't read a promote. No, you can't. Not yet, but very soon. So why? Do your Twitter. Twitter. Kevin Brennan, 666. I'm having a kidding. That's the only number I can get that at any sex appeal. I can't.. I'm having a kidding, that's the only number I can get that at any sex appeal. I'm a devil, so what are your superheroes

can tell me to go fuck all of them? Hi buddy, I'll talk to you later. Kevin Brennan, man, thanks for coming by. Um, all right. Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you positive? What about the skin?

You have that little aids pot belly I don't see a lot of kev god he's funny the stairs the same way you came up take it right down the stairs yeah dude I don't know what's gonna happen but you get mad you get fucking mad when people when people are killing, when we've been dealing with this, and then you get mad when you see them, all the Muslims leagues and all the, you know, they're, it's like, it's confusing because you like, you're defending yourself instead of why are we not talking about the victims, their families, and the radical Muslims that are, why are we not talking

about these people that killed people we couldn't even say it was a terrorist attack for fucking like two and a half days you didn't know if it was not because if they went out and said it was a terrorist attack they would have gotten troubled because of political correctness well we're so fucking PC in this country and in the world now that you can't even call it what it is. You can't put a photo out, you can't. And what the fuck was up with all the open the house to the press? Did you see that?

The landlord let the press in. Press probably gave him money. The landlord let the press in and it was into the terrorist house and they were just walking around going through shit there was shredded documents in the trash there was the chick's license was out in the open photos like shit the FBI should have taken right right and they didn't they didn't even they said that the shredded documents in the barrel weren't, what, how do you know? Yeah, the shredded. Well, it's crazy.

It is what I think the biggest thing that changed everything. You know, when you were saying Christians and Catholics, they killed people. That's what they did, the Spanish Inquisition. The minute the church allowed the Bible to be translated from Latin into English is what opened everything up because it made it so that people could scrutinize the Bible in Distorship that didn't even make sense and the the Quran has never been translated into English, which is why the clerics and the priests have control over how the information is the same. Here's a problem. Here's a problem.

I find it really hard to listen to anything you say because you have a Colorado ram head on your knuckle next to a snake. So I think a wizard. I don't know what the other one is. It's hard to listen to anything you say. Oh, it's a grim reaper pulling a sickle. I'm sitting there like, well, who am I listening to this fucking goth? It's hard to listen to any that you say. Oh, it's a grim reaper, pulling a sickle. I'm sitting there like, well, who, why am I listening

to this fucking goth douchebag? Should live in Salem, Massachusetts. Fucking make all your money in October. What do you think, Joe? Are we plugging? Are we doing plugs? We're gonna plug, but I'm asking you what we think, yeah. About what?

About what's happening islam is that you're in the iris you you wrap it up what do you mean wrap it up like to have a lot of things and what would you think where you had well it's uh... i mean it's certainly it's it's scary it's a thing i mean i say a huge part of this the the gun control thing is frightening that they have the

that the nRA so powerful that we can't even get on board with like the no fly list you got to be on a no gun list but they're they're so afraid of anything that's considered gun control that they're like no we're not gonna do that like let's have there are terrorists legally purchasing guns they are gun stores there was twenty-eight thousand dollars put into the skies account I think so like let's just let's do that the people that are on the no fly list they They can't get guns We can't fucking get that done I think the manner does right the anaries so powerful yeah that they probably don't want to change anything The gunload you gotta get it someone made the point yesterday you gotta go and get a license

You gotta get approved you gotta take a test you get to do all the shit just to drive a car Why not? Why can't you do psychological evaluations every year if you're going over on or that's insane and then also uh... you can't just have kick people out you know it's just not america you can't just go you can't come in here because of your religion it says it is very simple i go back and forth it's it's hard

because they're like they want more uh... surveillance on the emails and the phones and stuff and it's hard because it's like that's on American and we have to fear the government but at the same time I'm like Fuckin' A fucking I got nothing to hide It's not a hiding anything so I'm gonna try and like fucking two tranny sites and some kids and you know photo of my kid. Yeah, it's that part's scary, but It's scary. I don't have uh... an answer but uh...

don't trump is uh... he's not the answer that's for sure he's definitely has no backup for how you do anything that's all just rhetoric is just like they're gonna fear us the fear and all these but it's good i mean deals bills every day they go what what should we do he goes well they i don't know but they should do something

that's his response he didn't think it through. He just said it. But it's what I do like about him, because you listen to crews and it's so politician. It's just, you know, well, I think we should do this and that. And we have to, and it's like a robot, it's a written, it's a speech, it's the same shit over and over. And Trump, you never, he's talking just like, you know,

a regular guy, and that's why you're attracted to it because you don't want a regular guy to run. Not Fony. Right. But you don't want a regular guy to run the front. We had that. George Bush. He's not a regular. He was a Fony. Yeah, but you know, you know, if you go to, if you go to jet book, jet bush, my friend Joe told me, if you go to have you go to jet book jet bush my friend Joe to me if you go to jet bush dot com it's he donald trump bought it all of the uh...

uh... uh... so go to jet bush i like trump it's hilarious he's unquestionably a funny guy eyes just entertaining i mean that i feel like we're watching watching a sci-fi movie right now. It's like some, I feel like, give us these movies,

they go into the future, future, where, you know, the, like that guy, like, idiotic mercy, yeah. The series of those. We're gonna wrestle our as president, you know what I mean? You want to competition. What do you got, Joe? New Year's Eve, and January 2nd,

albeit Ann Arbor Comedy Club, the 31st and the 2nd. And then, Arbor comedy club 31st and the second and then whatever the second weekend of January Where is that Ann Arbor, Michigan? I know who's kidding for the University of Michigan is and then Second week of January what's that 10 11 12 something like that? I'll be at the stress factory And to brunt I'm in my book. I should have had it. It's all right. Strat does it to good dates Yeah, fill those up. And then Strat's factory in Dubranduwick. Yeah. And then Ann Arbor, Comedy Club, New Year's Eve.

And then check out the podcast. Tuesdays with stories. We got an epic on there this week. What? My Louis C.K. story. What? What a great story. Oh, what? How have we not heard this? I had sex with Louis C.K.

No, you didn't. It was great. How do you know I talk about this story? Well, you should go listen to it on Tuesdays with stories. I want to. I want to say first of all I called them me and Joe working on a little something something. Oh it's great. And I called them and he he was a guy I'm going I'm sorry I can't talk to you I'm going to he's by the water walking around with his girl and he's like yeah I'm going to meet Louie on his yacht He's by the water walking around with his girl. And he's like, yeah, I'm going to meet Louis on his yacht. And I was like, what?

Exactly. And then he fucking hung up on me. I gotta go. I hang up. You hung up? Eventually I did, because you were doing a bit where you were like, OK, I'll let you go, but then you kept doing a thing and talking. It was like, I really have to go.

And you made it so I had to hang up, which was annoying. And then also Louis was on the fucking see waving at me for a while. Yeah Yeah, you had to go be the first mate. Yeah, but it wasn't his yacht It was like he has like another boat. He's like a like a beater fuck around boat. Oh a little boat Yeah, so we went on a little boat then you went on his big boat Well, he you took a little boat to the big boat. I saw you on the big boat. No, no big no big boat That's our picture. Oh, that was the ferry everyone thought the ferry So larry as people like how big is that fucking boat? Well, he has a 45 foot yacht. Yeah, you could see it in the mediums and cars

Yeah, he is he's a great guy. Why did he invite you on there? Do you see you and like you want to be friends? No, it's sex We had a nice. No, yeah, he's a sweet guy. That's so sweet. Yeah, took your fucking CK Giz all over your chest. No. Did he shave his balls? What do you got Dante besides fucking shitty rings and muscles? Do I wind up the Muslim thing? Can I do that?

Yep. I want to put my rings on so you can focus. I just keep them down. It's money in politics is the big thing. It's the fact that money is controlling politics and the people are not being represented because all the corporations are controlling the politicians. And the fact that when we caucus,

and when we caucus, we caucus one, sorry, we caucus one state out of saying caucus is literally annoying everybody in the universe. Why is it? People who aren't listening to the show, or will actually be annoyed at you going caucus. Yeah, but you sound like a fucking yenta from Mug Island. When we caucus.

So I was, has the first caucus, and I'm going to say it one more time. And that is not representative of the country. And if we did all of the states simultaneously, then or everybody would be represented. Because whoever wins the first, whoever wins in Iowa, the rest of the candidates get knocked off, and they start to lose campaign finance. So we need to change, take the money out of campaign finance, take the money out of politics, and we need to have all the caucuses simultaneously throughout the whole country. The only thing I heard was caucus. That's all I...

Everything else just went right out. All right. What are you going to do? Where are you going to be, buddy? years. I'll be at stand-up New York. No shit great club Take it all back. I love stand-up New York. I got upset. They let me early city and I ate it city room No, yeah, I just gonna know because they let me early and yeah, DeBono's fucking great even before I knew it was a fucking ninja Yeah, he's a great guy. I didn't mean to come on I like it about. Oh, he's a great guy. I didn't mean to come on. I let him on. He's always been a great guy. And he's got OCD.

He's got to turn the door knob five times before he goes. He's got problem. You got to get him on. I do get him telling the story about how he had sex with a porn star, but he wouldn't have sex with it because he told her she had AIDS. But then he went down on her the whole time. That's how you get the AIDS. He didn't think so though. So.

Oh, really? No, because I feel back earlier, I was like, I'm trying to work new shit. I'm trying to write my new material, and I said, cut his town. But I didn't mean that he's not doing that. I just meant it's upsetting, because if I'm going to get cut my time, let me work on fucking new shit here. As a pro, he's trying to get him warmed up. So I'm like, have him time and he was hosting me with a car trying to work on fucking new shit here

As a pro you know, he's trying to get him warmed up So I have him warm up for eight minutes less and let me fucking do my time I didn't mean it to be a negative against I don't want it. I just don't want Bob to be like hey But that's that's his friends of them I respect and like I'm not cuz I beat me up We get it now, but that's it. I know that too I know I'm afraid to beat me up too What about Kelly we got it Kelly it look great the hair is amazing. I mean that really Really I really do I appreciate that we have the charroom nothing right now We have a lot of people watching they're just watching they're not all right

What do you got Kelly besides luscious fat? Let me just see We have a lot of people watching. They're just watching. They're not all right. I don't want to see you, I do. Check it out, I'm gonna fun. Joe, let me do this. All right, so Joe, let me do this. Sorry. Just unbuttoned that one flannel button. I just want to see one thing. Kelly, I'm here. I know, but I've got roles in my stomach now.

Someone bars the button on my stomach. No, you don't have to back. I don't want to see a stomach. You keep the... No, I want a little cushion for the push. Keep your shirt together. Now just undo this. Just do this. you're sure together now just undo this just do this Keep the shirt together just do this like undo you know what I'm saying like do it yeah, so hold on

Wait, wait, wait, no, no, I didn't see move the fucking Move this move it now move your fucking shitty homemade fucking iron on the Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait Three go oh my gosh those are Kelly you need to stay big. Yeah, I feel horrible my stomach is touching each other's I got seven of them here like I like when those nipples point straight down No, no they point up we're good It's lost everything. Oh, nothing just happened It's a good lost at all Look at look at look at my baby's Everything just happened Lost it all My babies Sorry, right?

This is gone. We had this fucking whole thing My baby's pregnant internet I'm a regular Kardashian What up? Kardashian Yeah, Kelli, if you're still going to come, I'll be in person Adelaide and Melbourne in Australia at the beginning of the year Because I'm going to miss Christmas show,

let me just get something on my back. Hey real fast. Adrian from the Sam Roberts Show wants to know, are you doing the toy drive this year? Yeah, a lot of people have been asking about that. Yeah, I just feel he wants to know. I'll tell you, I was away in Canada. That's what threw it off this year.

I was away in Canada. I think it's a little too late to do it. But let me try to get something together this week. And maybe we can do a little something and bring the toys to somewhere. I just think it's a little too late right now. We're doing it in January. The kids still need shit. Yeah, but no.

It's weird. For Martin Luther King Day. That was good. I just was in, my wife blah, blah, blah. That was good. I just was in, I, my wife blah blah blah. I was away. I came back. I was like, we're doing this. She's like, I didn't, she was like, I can't, I can't do it. She helped. She actually, my wife last year did most of it behind the, she did a lot of stuff behind the scenes, getting the groups, finding the people making the calls. I just, I just, I feel bad.

She's going to be telling them, yeah, I feel bad. But I'm still going to donate to kids so we can I can try to find something that you can donate and we can do it in the name of you know. I'll do this. Let's do this. If you want to send something what's the address here? Scope one 17 McDougal Street. What's the zip code? I had to look that oh my god You fucking have that it's always but I'm a fucking Holy job. I'm sorry. I don't memorize addresses. You're supposed to memorize this one All the fucking time yeah, would he say that I can look it up I'm just supposed to send shit in one zero zero one two you don't fucking know it right about the wrong I don't say it say what I want to say it's not my job. He's supposed to know it

He's supposed to know but you yell at him for it. Yeah, no one zero zero one two Faces all right, Lauren's not gonna yell at him. She should know it too. She should have tapped you when it's this Zero zero one two Dante my no my therapist My sir he said either you have to just accept Chris Idiot Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Go. Let's great to get head from My soda so No for the toy drive. Well, what's the address?

17 McDougall Street 1 0 0 1 to New York New York New York will camera Roberto Kelly you ykw. Thank you. Deepo Fucking siding with me for one time in your life. That's not true Nothing a bully bully Love in the bully no question about it. All right, check it out. Fuck you. Not a bully. Just frustrated more of a notch Okay, fuck you with Nazi don't say that these times Okay, fuck you with Nazi don't see that these times

Are you ready? Oh, yeah, I'm gonna miss the Christmas episode because I have to go back to Australia on Monday I was like $1500 a box to change the flight. Yeah, I'm going to Hawaii Be here either. Well, I got you something Anyway, candy can't I'm gonna die. Well you're the daughter and Max or whatever. Well you can live in the studio and have a Nick. Well like the Cobb Bob. Hey hey, live in the studio. We can just use those decorate.

Yeah, you can have them. Okay, well you see it's a direct, thank you Kelly. You got it don't worry. Very sweet of you. Thank you for having me back though. Again, I really appreciate you letting me hang out a few times. When do you come back again? Well I have to be back before May.

Of course I'm going to be hanging out a few times. When do you come back again? Well, I have to be back before May, that's, of course, those fingers, Joseph, before May 14th, otherwise my green card is put in jeopardy. So before May 14th. So you'll be back. Good. We'll see you then, all right? Yeah. Thank you for having me back.

And the tour drive, if you guys want to send something, send it to the address that Skopal gave. And I will make sure that we give it to them. Just, yeah, send it there. Because we didn't even set up the P.O. Box. We had a P.O. But we had all shit last year and I, it's my fault. But if you want to do that, we'll make sure in the name of, we'll all go to a hospital, uh, near me and the foster home I know of.

And we'll, we'll make sure the kids get the stuff. Oh, and speaking of that on Saturday, I'm going to an abortion clinic and to have women walk in there you go boom. Yeah, Mara Chris is everyone That's great. I also am going to I'm sending people there I'm sorry Chris. What do you got go to at Chris Copa on Twitter and then at Chris Copa dot com It's sad as plug on her every week. I got not had a guy nothing. I'm that deep blue I don't plug on her every week. I got nothing. I'm that deep blue. I don't plug shows in the city. So I got nothing going on.

Oh, boy, oh boy. I want to play the show in a month. You just did last week. He's like, you know, I talked about the audition I had. Why would fuck wait? I got a plug. He resentful. I didn't plug my podcast.

Bage Philip. Bage Philips on the ride cast network. Yeah. Also, if you need to manage a bitch, hit me and save me. And he'd wait me down. A lot of white guys listen to the show. They know that. He's not talking about the dog.

He's not Justin Silver. He's actually talking about your wife. You know, the one that went to college. The manager bitch. The mother of your, the mother of your children. That won't lick your balls. Absolutely. Save me Dante a Gmail.com. I do one-on-one consultation. The mother of your the mother of your children that won't lick your balls. Absolutely

Save me Dante a gmail that come I do one-on-one consultation. I want to actually I want can I do one and record it? I would love to do it. That'd be awesome. Alright Just say it to don't don't you yell you the whole time don't tell fucking me and don't get to go fuck yourself Now fucking wave on you go fucking a fucking a fucking electrician Now fucking wave on it. Now fuck you go fuck it up. You go fucking electrician. What? What do you got, Baba? At Lauren Cabar on Twitter and same on Instagram.

All right, what do you got, Deepo? You can check out my website twitch.tv slash R2DPU. All my links are there. New years. I'll be at home jerking off. Yay! Yeah. And all the t-tidle listeners, we should do the plugs and reverse.

Yeah. So. I don't know why I got t- we should do the plugs and reverse. Yeah I got you num skulls. Oh, I got this weekend if you're listening live December 10th 1112 you be inside splitters and Tampa Yeah, big show in Tampa this weekend Thursday Friday Saturday. I love that club. I fucking love it And I'm going I love down because my pal my cult is down there. I'll come ahead cow head He's not cow head anymore, but yeah, it used to be. And I love seeing him and I love doing a show. And I love, you know, everybody on the show, I fucking love being down there.

And the club's great. I mean, yeah, it's a little fucking tiny shit whole club. But the crowds are amazing. Bobby's awesome. He runs it. Everybody who there runs it. They know, you know what they know? They know how I like the show to be.

And they fucking run it that way when I'm there. They, you know, they're cool. Like every time I'm on you, you're talking, I'm raven about that club. Yeah, I'm on that. I have you on before Tampa. So there you go. What else I got? The eighth and ninth of January,

a banana's been Hasbroke Heights. Yes, I can't wait for that. That out. And then 14th, they're my favorite clubs. Another club. Not the best, you know, it's in the fucking hotel. Greatest crowds, great people. And why?

Because it's in Jersey. I love fucking Jersey crowds. Absolutely, I'm big Jersey's my people. I really believe that. I just love doing it. But the club, it's just, they've been running a few years. The two people who wanted a sweet hearts.

Everybody who works there as a fucking doll. Did you put in the word for me? Yeah, I wish I could, you could middle there for me. No, the headline. I mean, yeah. I got Bills, dog. Yeah, we got a lot of money, dude. That's true.

Joe's killing it. He's never home anymore every weekend. He's a fucking, he's a headliner now. Six guys. Yeah. Well, go to Robert Kelly Live. What else I got anything I know for 14 15 16 You're at the comics at Mohegan son. Yeah, that's a great show too I think Star Rose and Casey are coming with me on that one who's Casey Casey

Casey yeah, yeah, you know, I forget to bring I forget to book that shit like hey want to come with me And you know if you call me up and go hey I want to come on that date I go okay and I just put it in there so they did so it's cool so there you go if you want to if you want to be on my shows I'll just do it fucking just remind me I just asked that's it and I'll find out Casey's lovely I love stubborn I love him sorry about your dog Robert yeah me too yeah it's hard yeah Kelby I love you buddy. I'm glad you did a beautiful thing good closure Yeah, sorry about your dog, but I already left that in a voicemail the day it happened Jesus, no problem I can't wait to be friends with just actors

I really can't wait Show to I'm sure I make a good nerd. Hey, I play bass Show to I'm sure I make a good nerd. Hey, I play bass Because every show needs a white guy that fucking that show does not need every show in the world is fucking nerds You can nerds you nerds are taken over yeah For a while I was about bullies for why rock and roll stars fuck you I just sat up enough with your crew we get it you're doing great. What else? I'm big right on wick to John wick to one of my One that's a good movie. Yeah

John wick is a great movie now is in John wick to guaranteed dies Guaranteed he makes it to the home And is in John wick 3 Yeah, what do you play what do you play a demon play John Legosamos hit man? Yeah, what do you play what do you play a demon play John Legosamos hit man? Really yeah, well, I mean like was I'm or dies. That's great All right, see how the show wraps up around two hours now, so there we go. I like it We did a fucking I'm trying to rework this. I got shit yesterday from some dildo on fucking Instagram What happened? You know I the, here's a deal.

He said, I wanna read what he said. Yeah, I like these, I don't know. Bullies, these people. Bullies, me. Broadband bullies. Jerry, what did you write on that cup thing? You wrote my name? Why didn't hear that you, I didn't listen to you.

You're namein' a real copy. You're namein' a real copy. Bobby. Last night's the show. I heard I was got a good beating. Oh, you guys I always love slamming you. Hey, Lewis was a Lewis lushering the the consultations. Yeah, Lewis. Yeah, which is funny because Lewis is a bitch for not for not smoking weed because of his wife.

Now he's not with a bitch. Well, Jesus. All right. I'll tell him you said that. Well, it was actually also tell him you said that. Well, it was actually also, I did say that you, he also did say that you could take him and that he would never ever want to be in a fight with you. Yeah, I would.

I love Lewis. It was all love. It's all love. Shut up, D.B. You bloody dumb and big. I'm a real shitsater, aren't I? What the guy said? You got to find out.

Did you lose your turn of thought, Bobby? I'm trying to find out. I did. I'm going to fuck it up. I mean, look at his feet. We finally fit. We started talking to them fill in the toilet, Bobby? I'm proud of my kid. I'm gonna fuck it up, I mean, stupidest. Where you at? Where you at? We started talking just to fill in the fucking day while you were looking for it.

Here we go, you guys are great, here we go, you ready? Here you go, ready? I'm gonna need a little bit of tape. There you go. There you go. So I wanted to, you know, my dog was up there, pitchers, everybody was beautifully, so nice, man, I was so happy, social media,

they were fucking just sweet rots yet the other day really really touch me. And then this guy, DL 84 on Instagram, he goes too many people. So I just wanted to take the dog and repost the podcast, which was a phenomenal show last week with Lewis and Dan and everybody, right? Yeah, amazing. It's great time. So I just wanted to Lewis and Dan and everybody, right? Yeah, amazing.

It's a great time. So I just wanted to put that up. And I just reposted listening, mallet work. I just want to bike Kelly's arm with the left. It's fun. This guy writes, I didn't say, hey, let me know what you think. Here's my show, give me a review. I just said, here it is.

I retweeted. It's not for not fans. I just want to let is. I retweeted. I didn't I didn't it's not for not fans I didn't I just want to let you know who's on right and it's up right Too many people trying to get their jokes in seems like a cluster fuck So I write back Hey, dear at dl 84 you realize I didn't ask for a review of the show I just wanted people to to who do like the show to know who was on it. You like interview shows. I get it.

So in the nicest way possible, no one asked what your thoughts were on the podcast. You judge mental old broad. And then he has to take go right for the jugular. Shandong. Shandong. Shandong. Shandong. Shandong. Shandong. Shandong. Shandong.

Shandong. Shandong. Shandong. Shandong. Shandong. Shandong. Shandong. Shandong.

Shandong. Shandong. Shandong. Shandong. Shandong. Shandong. Shandong. Shandong. Shandong. Shandong. love how he throws all comics now. They just say comics can't, because you've been a cunt to other comics. That's exact, you, this is not new.

You've been a cunt and been fucking, you know, to other comics. That's why you lump, it's just me, by the way, not comics. Who knew comics were such pussies when it came to other's opinions? I love how if you slam someone back on like Twitter and they go, what are you so sensitive?

It's like, yeah. I go like this. I'm like, what are you fucking sensitive? It's like, yeah. I go like this. I'm like, what a fucking sensitive dude. Sorry, but here it is, ready? I go at TL 84. You're not a fan at all. Fans of the show actually like the show. Look up toward fan.

You're not one. You said it stinks. Too many people trying to get their joking, unquote. That's exactly what my show is, dummy. It's what comics do when we're all together. Bus balls, one up each other, and be funny. And as far as me being a pussy, I was just giving you my opinion about what you about you and you got all hot out of the collar. So I guess we're both pussies. Here's here's a problem with that So you gave me your opinion. I said go fuck yourself. I think your opinion sticks. Here's why here's why I didn't just say fuck you

Here's why I don't think you're you like this type of show you're not a fan blah And then I give my opinion back and I'm a pussy. I can't take it You can I took it and gave my opinion back you can't take it you And then he unfa- and then fucking went into the done fall and hey fuck you look at me fucking goodbye Allias You like an interview you like a nice quiet MPR show go fucking listen to him You like people fucking trying to be funny. You know you can erase people's comments on Instagram just erase it Don't get into it with them now because it took me so long to get all that wording in the grammar, right?

Just the rest of it. I asked about it. I asked on like nine times. Is this comic correct? So no, I'm kind of proud of it. But these people he's suffering his life is worthless That's what he get that's the only value he has is I can write and Bobby will hear it Bobby will read it. So he's he's valueless and also I don't I'll tell you he's wrong this wise wrong this is why it's not he's not a troll he was actually a fucking delusional idiot thinking he's a fan and he's not I think it's also wrong because there was mainly three people talking on that podcast and five people just laughing here's a here's a reality of it. Ready? It was a great show.

It's a great show. And the fans of the show are the fucking best fans in the world, I think. And this is one of the funniest podcasts on the fucking planet. If you don't think so, move the fuck on because the people who do love the show, you're the best. Which is normal behavior for people

that aren't suffering internally. They go, I don't like this. And then they go on with their lives. They don't reach out to the person doing the show and tag them and go hey I just want to let you know I think you suck that's a that's an illness that's not a normal fucking behavior yeah no it's terrible you go oh this sucks and then you move on and go do something else with your life exactly you're valued so you're you're you're feeding into this

good I felt good to get it out so So anyways, the people who do love the show, I love you, Joe, Dottay, Kelly. Thanks, Kelly. I don't care for the show myself, but it's a good vehicle. You're really cool. I'm cool. Going on my third week, no sugar nose grains.

Congratulations. 30 minutes on the treadmill. First time I worked out since whenever, long time. So back in the mix. I haven't had any sugar since this guy left the comment on my Instagram. You guys are the best fans of the world. You know what? Thanks for listening, guys.

Take care. The YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all of the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free. And they're all free. Shining. Shining.

Shining. So,