Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Godfrey | Never Phony

Episode Date: March 1, 2021

This week Godfrey comes on to talk coming up at the Cellar with Bobby, comedians that don't stay true to themselves, and the SNL rejection process! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. ¿Dónde nadie pregunta, ¿dónde viene? ¿Si no, por qué no te viene? Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa en preno, conocernos, y no creer olvida. Hoy es un día de eso, que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso, que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga.

Un humenaje de mao, a Madrid. Sabemos lo importante que es sentirse acompañado. Por eso en Caixa Bank ahora cuentas con un préstamo para hacer realidad tus ilusiones. Solicitas lo desde el móvil o a través de tu gestor. Informa tencaishabank.es. Caixa Bank, tu y yo, nosotros. Siempre que se mantenga las circunstancias económico-financieras del solicitante en el momento de la solicitud. Informa tencaishabank.es. Caishabank, tu y yo, nosotros. Siempre que se mantenga las déerconstances económico-financeras del solicitante en el momento de la solicitud.

Buscas contenido gratis. I wanna be free. Pluto TV es el servicio de streaming gratuito con series como South Park o sensación de vivir. Descarga ya la aplicación en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. Baby, we're starting the park cast right now. en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV can't die. You can't die. The podcast is so fun and crazy. And as a rule, you're ruining this.

First of all, damn it. I'm sorry. It's not any podcast. This is an NPR. That's what the podcast does. Is there any better show? This is the original. The original. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know what, dude, is back.

Uh, uh, today is a fucking great day. I'm very excited for my guests today. We haven't had him on in probably 17 years. And there is a reason for it. He forgot. He forgot. There's a reason why goffrey hasn't been on my show. Why? First of all, one of my longest friends. I mean, we've been friends. Probably I would consider goffrey in my class. Everybody says that I'm in Voss and Norton and Jesus. Well, me, you would, was me, you, Norton. That's our class. Me. I think Norton was above us though. It was me, you, Corielli. Me, Corielli. Who else?

me, Corielli, who else? Like Lenny, like, like, artists, artists, who are, I mean, you were all in that that one, one year or two years beneath them, because they had got to the city before us. Right. And then, and then we, we came to the city and we started taking over. Yeah, we, we used to, I over. We used to, I mean, I'm talking every night, all night. We were doing, I mean, every single night. When people talk about 10,000 hours, that never really made, I was like 10,000 hours up, blah, blah, blah. That never really made I was a 10,000 hours up love up and then if you look back on what we did Back from 1997

Yep to Like to last year till last year. Yeah, yeah, we were at the comedy seller the Boston comedy in New York City Yeah, on the same block. Yeah for over 10,000 hours on the same block. Yeah. For over 10,000 hours. Yeah, and I remember I counted like sometimes we would, because me and Rob Bobby would do this. We'd always go, we'd have a lot of cash.

And we would compare our cash. And we'd be like, she mad, she mad, she mad. She mad, she mad, she mad, she mad, she mad, she mad, she mad, she mad, she mad, she mad, she mad, she mad, she mad, she mad, she mad, she mad, she mad, she mad, she mad, So that's fast fast fast fast fast fast fast fast the four to five times a night on the weekday. So we were doing about 30 to 40 sets a week. Why, me and God free, we were closing all these fucking things. It was either him or me, him or me. I mean, I'm talking at the seller at three in the morning in front of seven fucked up

people. And it was either him or me closing that shit. That was a one 45 spot, but everybody went a tick over. Everybody went five minutes over, you know, six minutes over. And by the time it got to that last spot, it was an hour and a half late. But the weekend though, weekend when it was spot, it was an hour and a half late. But the weekend, the weekend when it was packed, it was either me or you again, me, or you ever show. Yeah.

Because you and then Bobby would murder. It was just we had to go back and forth back and the lineups were right. You know, then I was the host at that time. I was hosting for five years straight. I was I was hosting too. Right. You were hosting. Remember we had to carry the seats and pay,

we had to pay carry the receipts and the show went from nine to like three in the morning straight. There was not break up of shows. It was just you did hours of comment. And yeah, it was that and I remember. But Godfruit, when I used to host, you, I remember Godfruit,

if you went up last on the show during the week, you weren't getting off. You weren't, you weren't, like I always got, like here's my time, I'm off. You were like, fuck that. And I would have to let, I let you money on fire a couple of times. You remember that?

I would give you the two and you'd be like, this is Garfrey, this is Garfrey. Yeah, two and you'd be like, this is my Garfrey, this is Garfrey. Yeah, I bum, he'd be killing be six or seven people, maybe 20 people, okay, very small crowd murder and end of the night, middle of it, middle of the fight, it was the next day. And he's up there. I'm like this, I'm waiting for Garfrey, I'm like, I just want to get the fuck out, I got some chick waiting, I want to go get some food and goffey's still.

And then I look at him and be like, oh, on my back, my back. And I be like, dude, that's the third fucking life. And then all of a sudden, I just take his money and I light it on fire. I go, good night. I'm gonna go back. Ah, ah, ah, ah. You guys be great, man. Light right, dude. I remember, I remember one night.

I remember one night. But the last time, I mean, every fucking night, I told you, remember the time you hit a homeless dude with your car? I don't remember. I still don't remember. Dude, it wasn't dead. It was the fucking greatest. One of the greatest New York stories. I don't remember, I still don't remember. Dude, that was good.

That was a, this is the fucking greatest, one of the greatest New York stories. Just those little things, why do you move to New York? Because God free-hit somebody with his God. That's why. People don't understand, we would do comedy, and then we'd go out.

Yes. We would go places and be funny for three more hours, like trying to hook up on a chick or hang it up with each other at a diner or getting food, and we'd be just going and going. And then I was with this girl, I used to date this girl. Really cute Jewish girl lived across the street from the seller,

which was awesome for me. Go case of good Lord. Oh, I mean, when you're when you're and we would fool around, we weren't like, we would just fuck around. Like, so I would in between spots, I get to go over there and fool around, chill the fuck out. And then after the last spot, I just go over there and we fuck around and, you know, whatever. And I remember I was with her and we we fucked around and we got up and I don't like staying

over girls' houses. I don't like waking up the next day. You're like me. You're like me. Fuck that. I like that. I like that. I like that.

I like that. I like that. I like that. I like that. I like that. I like that. I like that. I like that.

I like that. I like that. I like that. I like that, I'll stay as soon as I hear I hear a bird That's a horse alarm clock I hear a garbage truck in a bird Like it listen, I gotta go Right on the floor. I would always go got an audition. No one's arguing. You're all got man. Got an audition at 6 a.m. But it's Sunday.

It's Sunday. They do our dishes. They got our dishes weekend auditions. Every day. Every day. I don't want you. I'm like, I got to make you baby. I got to make you.

But I remember I was outside. Me and her went and I was like, let's get some coffee. I was taking off at the bird. I mean, do the sun's coming up. The birds were chirping. We're sitting down on a little tiny, like barely keep our asses on this little stoop of some restaurant and we had coffee and I seen you come down. You get a little fucking shitty Honda Civic.

It was like a little two-door. Oh, you went down to the Gio store. Oh, Gio store. All right. So you coming down to this car. It was like a little two-door. The Tio store. Oh, a Tio store, man. All right, so you coming down to this car, it was green, like lime green, right? Yeah, it was horrible. Right? And I remember,

it was like a teal weird I got in from Chicago. I drove it from Chicago to New York. Right, and you were like one of the only dudes with a car. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. So I remember, I see see you I see your car you could tell it's your car because nobody had that little lime green fucking thing

and I see you like your dude you were exhausted and you were driving down the street and I started laughing because I know you were just doing the same shit I was doing somewhere else in the neighborhood right And I just left you hours ago at the cellar. And I was just sitting there like, and I went, God, pray. And you went, and you stopped. And your head was like leaning, like leaning on the deal,

yo, you smile like, yeah. And you backed up and you didn't look and you hit some homers too. You bumped them and you felt you was like you just went on my bag. Back in the day when you get hit a homeless guy and not go to jail, right? Because anyway, the homeless dude got four coats on, so he's cushioned. He's cuz he liked his dad, right? You gotta die. Oh shit, dude.

I remember, I remember, I mean, one night, I remember this is the funniest story. I said to you, I go listen, I got these girls coming, this five of them. I go listen, I got, I got these girls coming. There's five of them. I go five. Five. Yeah, we need to say, you don't understand what we used to do.

Oh, man, I want to know. I don't, I don't even want to know. Go ahead, you will know. I know. I know. Godfrey's like, your fuck your fuck your fuck your fuck your fuck your fuck your pie hole. So govery, I says the govery.

First of all, govery, govery's a fucking adonis. You know what I mean? Govery's fucking shredded. I mean, with a t-shirt on, you can see his abs, right? And I was sexy Bobby at the time. Oh, you were. You were, you were the shit. I was sexy Bobby at the time.

That was the time I was looking mother fuck it. And I remember, and I, but you, you were still. He's got free. There's so many fucking stories I have. I remember I was dating this girl. This is, I'm going to switch off. I'll go back to that story. But I was dating this girl. This is, I'm gonna switch off. I'll go back to that story. But I was dating this girl and I seen Garfrey

and she was smoking on it. And Garfrey was like, yo, what's up? And Garfrey would be like, hey, and I was like, ah, motherfucker. And I went on stage and I come outside and she's giving him her number. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, I go, fuck you, you piece of shit. Now she's yours. I'm out.

She's your responsibility. I'm out. Who's supposed to go to dinner and shit? I was digging around the dinner. I said, she's yours and I walked the fuck away. And you're like, you, but do you know what? I just saw her. I'm like, hey.

You fuck you. So I remember the next time I had these girls come down, I have five girls come down, I go listen, there's one I want, I don't care. You can pick the other four all game, whatever you want, but the one I want, I go, if you fucking step on any of my stories, I'm gonna kill you. If you fucking try to talk over me and try to get in,

I'm gonna kill you. And so you go, you, me and try to get him, I'm gonna kill you. And so you go, okay, I'm good, I'm good. And we go downstairs to the bagging in and we get that front booth with the windows and we sit down with all these girls. And I remember I was like, yeah, there's one time and I was going and you went, yeah, yeah, that was and I kicked you in the shin. And you went, oh shit. And they were like, what's wrong?

You were like nothing. And then you started talking to the girl and I kicked you again. And you were like, all right, yeah. And you stopped talking to her. Remember that? And that's how you got over here. Oh, dude, there was so many times, so many fucking times, man. Because I used to go, you know, at the cell, I used to go over to the,

Hayden over to the NYU dorm dorm because I was seeing girls over there With those hateful security guards and be like yeah, let me see some my deal. I was like quick being upset. Let me go through buddy I'm about to fucking y'all I Brought Alan Haby with me to a dorm room. I'm he's 85 He was 65 at this time. He was madman. What the fuck?

I know Alan Habe just came with me because this girl I wanted. And so I said, yo, let's just go. And there were two girls. And we went and Alan just kind of talked to the other girl. And I took the other girl in the bathroom. and Alan was just talking to his chick while I was What was he talking about life like telling her not to get credit card debt I Break up this guy's

Fuck now But yeah, Alan Heybie came with me to the door You know, oh I mean we were a fucking remember the there was a coffee shop across the street Oh, 24 hours. Hey, it was um, it was um, it was called oh my god I had it on the top of my tongue Fuck I was just talking about it the other day Damn forgot you's Israeli owned

Joy is Ray Israeli guy. It was open 24 hours a day. They had coffee and we would go to the seller, hang out all night, do all our shows. The last show be at the seller. And then we'd go over there with whoever we were gonna hang with. Right? And we'd sit over there and get that, because coffee was cheap as shit.

Because we didn't want to take girls for drinks. Nope. Because that was like a hundred dollar night. Yeah, fuck that. We went to the diner. That's like 50. We had no money. Right.

You know, we had money, but we didn't want to spend that shit. We had to spend an R-shit on them, like that. Well, we just wanted to run a cheap and we would go over the coffee shop and get them a muffin and a latte. Right. And spend all night long in that little fucking thing, that little coffee shop.

And this really do own, it was cool shit. Yeah. And then I remember he used to let me go downstairs. Wow. Really? He had the office downstairs. I remember one of the girls that was doing my, she was the dental assistant. She heard the dentist came and see me one night.

And she took me, we were over to that place and she goes, you have a place to go? I go, yeah, I told whatever his name was. I forget his name, Arya, whatever. And I was a young man, he goes, go down to my office, down to this. Just go downstairs. And I went downstairs and I was on his desk messing around with this chick. It's fucking awesome. I remember going to the cellar. We're a little door into seller We don't listen to me a little closet. I brought some I brought this Cuban

And I right before my set I'm like Dude, dude that door the people don't know about that door the keys gone That was the badger door. There's a door. You know, one knows it exists when you go down the cellar stairs and right to the right. No, you don't know what's that. There used to be a chain with a key on it. And me, I mean, do me, I mean, me, you God, you know, Sharad. What? I mean, there was a handful of us that used that

as our little secret apartment during this, you know, if I would love to go with it with a black light and just see, oh, fuck. I mean, there should be a documentary on that, on that, on that room, that fucking dark dungeon. Are you still? We used to go, we used to go in there in between shows. Yeah, I remember I remember like coming down the stairs and seeing you come out of there

With like an 11 like a like a high and just a dirty fucking room There was no lights remember there was that one little light like down on the floor. Oh Shit You are you Oh, there you go. Yeah, but it was, it was, it was something about sneaking that girls, people like that sometimes it's adventurous. Like, what's going here? Hell yeah. Yeah. No, it wasn't. It wasn't like it was definitely Concentual crazy sex back in the day man. I mean girls. I mean we would have so much fun We would have I was like the 60s when already came around Oh boy when already came right you talk about guy that knows women. I mean that was the first time I really started I was dating model chicks because he knew all the models.

Like we would go to party. He knew all the big DJs. I mean, I, I met the caprio through him. I met Blastera. So it was like, we were, I was going, I was around model chicks now. And I'm like, and already we would bring girls and have them at the top and we would have them at the show.

So they were at the top. So at the same time, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all,

we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all,

we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we were all, we changed up when you started hanging like when you when you at first you would date like regular chicks. And then when you started going to these these whatever parties and clubs with already you started dating like these chicks were like eight feet tall with a fish bowl on the head would come

down the cell always got free. It's got me here. I'm looking for God three. And it's like what? Yeah, it was it was when I started getting a lot of foreign women because I remember I had this. there was two Italian girls. They were twins and they both liked me.

And it was Simona and Sara. I sat around Simona. I remember, and canoed. That was their name. They ended up both hating me. But I was dating her. She didn't know English that well, but she was always angry. She was always coming for him.

Where is God for you? Look at her God. What is that? And I remember being with her and everyone's like, damn, who's that chick you with? I said, that's Sarah. She was a mean and a motherfucker. And I'd be like, and I remember this girl came up to me.

She goes, Hey, God, what's up? Sarah's like, my name is Sarah. I'm God's evil. And I remember she goes, where are you from? I'm from Roma, Roma, Italian. She goes, I'm Italian too. No, you're not to real Italian. You're Mexican. That shit was so funny. She goes, you're not to real. You don't speak Italian. You can always tell who God through his dating by the language you was trying to learn. Yeah. Got me.

Go on, we wouldn't come down to me. Go to Gato. You bang a Japanese chick? Hey. Because I had a Japanese one that I met in front of the seller during Halloween because my friend who's Japanese American, they all dressed up in kimonos. And I was like, man, this is dope. And I saw her friend. I said, damn, who's Japanese American, they all dressed up in kimonos. And I was like, man, this is dope. And I saw her friend.

I said, damn, who's your friend? Her name was Hitomi. And she didn't know any English. But she liked me. And I was like, she had an attitude with me. And she didn't know English. She said, oh, tell your friend. And then she ended up coming to the show the next day.

And then I started messing around with her. And she was a fashion designer. Yeah. I was like, and I remember SD, you know, SD, SD was mean, SD was like, Oh yeah, he goes, and you know SD was a hot chick when she was young. So SD was hot when she was old.

Yeah. SD was very protective of me like us, her boys. Yeah. We brought girls around, she was like, she put them through the test She was she would test them. She goes God see I want to tell you you have tasting where you have the best tasting women you have the best Because I had a sweet it was a sweetest girl I brought yeah, yeah, they were like yo, where the fuck is she from because I met her when I was in Sweden

I said this is I remember oh it was her name was Ellen because I met her when I was in Sweden. I said, this is, I remember, oh, her name was Ellen Strenstum. She was like, Ellen Strenstum from Sweden. And they were like, what the fuck? I need a regular white girl, man. God. I was like, he wasn't even blonde. She was brown hair. You know, it's, you know, it's funny is you, I know when you switched up your game, you, when, because me and you were kind of just the girls that would come to the club. But then like you said, all of a sudden these girls would come to the way that's a coffee,

you know, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh,

laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh not in this world, chicks. And I remember me and Keith one night, we kind of had to bow out because you, me and Keith were outside talking to these girls, these two girls, and they were smoking hot. Regular girls, probably from Long Island somewhere, we were just jerseys, and we were talking, and we were making them laugh. And then all of a sudden, Keith felt,

we felt like a presence. Something was watching us. And we were like, what the fuck? And we looked and you were on a tree. You were leaning on a tree by the seller. Arti was over by my moons and Darth Vader, and you guys were all looking at me, Keith, like little young lions, like little, little looking

at us, like we're coming. And I remember me and Keith started going, Hey, listen, we got to go. What? You know what? You got a number. You got a, now you know what? Just, Hey, look me up. I'm on my space.

Just, yeah, we like ran away because you got, and then you guys both all three guys just moved in and just started and they would the eyes lit up like oh this is who are these guys. I remember when I showed you and I showed you and for trees the footage from Brazil. No. I showed you I because I can't come from Brazil, because I was at carnival for two weeks. And then I came back and I showed you these girls doing some in my apartment, in the apartment we rented. These buck and smoking ass Brazilian girl. And I was like, and it's not like a big deal.

It's the carnival everybody gets. That's carnival, yeah, yeah. And they were dancing and y'all went, oh my God, I said, and then you guys, I think you guys went to Brazil 800 times after that. You guys were way more than I did. I just went there one time.

I'm like, well, you got that footage, you guys were like, oh shit, you went, you went to Brazil when you're supposed to go to Brazil. We went to Brazil like on President's Day weekend. Like. go to Brazil. We went to Brazil like on President's Day weekend. We were just fucked up by the fuckers. Just in Brazil. You went with Patrice, yeah? I went with Patrice twice. And it's funny too because I wanted to ask you about him. And we do an extra 10 at the end for anybody watching at the end. I will talk about why you haven't been on

my podcast for 16 years. There's a reason. So at the end of it, well, I'm going to reveal to everybody. Really? Oh, yeah, there's a reason. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, user, there's a fucking hot reason. But anyways, so yeah, you have to be a patreon member to get this one. Listen, I, but I remember me in Patrice, Patrice, they're coming up with the documentary this week by the way. Yeah, I can't wait to see that. Yeah, I saw it. They sent me a version. Don't watch, don't watch the first airing, by the way. The first airing on Comedy Central is going to be a fucking fucked up edited version because they didn't want to bump the office. Oh God. So they, I'm being told to tell people to watch it on the...

We don't want to bump the office. That's in reruns. Well, look, man, Comedy Central's dying and the only guy that's their office. That's their fault. They fucked that up. Sorry. That way you're gonna do it. I mean, they got they're hanging on with the office. Comedy Central, listen, when there was, what was her name? I don't know if it was Lauren. Great. She was fantastic. I got that's when I did premium blend. I went, comics come home. I did, I did, you know, my half-hour, half-hour comedy

central special. That's when comedy central was like, they were, they got it. They, they understood. And then all of a sudden something just happened like, God damn, they just, I don't know what happened. I have a via-com dude. Oh, okay. That's what happened with MTV, V1. Yeah, let me see.

Viacom. But anyways, they did do a comedy central did step up for the Patrice documentary. So I got to give him credit for that. They really did. And the documentary is amazing. But the first area, every airing after that will be the full documentary in its entirety, the way Mike Bunkfiliili Figlio and Burr, who he edited it.

So, and it'll be on digital platform that night, the full version. I wish I would have been able to talk about, I wish I would have been able to be on that shit. Damn. But you and Patrice, like, you guys were fucking close too. Yeah, very, yeah. I mean, I mean, it was Keith. Keith, you already me.

Yeah. Uh, uh, gotten boss. Yes. Yeah. The tree spur. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. At that club, every fucking night, little kev. Yeah. Right. Little kev was there. Yeah. Um, I mean, we're there rolling dice, hanging out. Me girls fucking making each other laugh. Me and each other busting balls. It was so great to have for trees because when you walked in to the cellar, it was like that laying towards the death valley.

It's that laying towards the comics table and for trees to be sitting there like job of the hut just waiting on people. Just fucking waiting on people. And he'd be like, and as soon as you walked in, this, go, and after him, come here. You're like, oh, damn it. And I remember Bowen Patrice,

when Patrice fucking talked about you, when he fucks with you, and means he likes you, when he fucked with you, the people he didn't fuck with, he doesn't like you, if he doesn't say something about you when he fucks with you, it means he likes you, when he fucks with you. The people he didn't fuck with, he doesn't like you if he doesn't say something about you. And I remember when Steve Burr and got upset at Patrice, he just got sensitive. I go, Steve, this is what the, this is what the, he's fucking joking, bro. Like they got mad. Oh, Patrice was, and then it's so funny when Patrice is gone.

Everyone's like, no, he was like, oh no, you never liked him. You were, I'm not calling out Steve Burr, but I remember when they were sent to do. I go, now you're liking a posthumously. Get the fuck out of here. You were crying when he was fucking with you. I mean, look, I definitely understand that him getting, he got to me a couple of times and I called him up.

I mean, dude, we yelled in a car I yelled at him in a car a couple times But we screamed at each other in Brazil like I'm talking at the top of our lungs When Patrice turned around and Bobby shut the fuck up you pussy fucking bitch, and I was like me shut the fuck up, you pussy fucking bitch. And I was like, me shut the fuck up. I mean, dude, I mean, we thought like that a few times. But that's like honesty though. I'm just talking about people who just are seething and on say anything, but you were always vocal.

You're always vocal. You've always, and that's why I'm in the shed today. Come here. I'm not the whole, I'm not the whole, I'm not the whole, I'm not the fucker. But at. I got fed. I got fed. I got fed. No, motherfucker. But at least I was more audible than that. I think about Robert Kelly.

He was never phony. He'll tell you to your face how he feels. And that's what, but that's what, maybe, can I say something about that though? Yes. Is that, that is probably detrimental to my career. Because I believe, and people, look at man, people don't want you to be in their face.

People don't want you to tell them how it is. People don't want, guys like you do, guys like Patrice, guys like, you know, we do, let's have it out, let's fight, let's fight. Yeah, yeah. But I'm telling you a lot of guys, you do that shit, and you get labeled as one of those motherfuckers. And that's the trees was Labeled as difficult that's labeled as difficult

Because you're being honest because you're being honest But because people would rather just be like you know, you said you're gonna call me and you didn't fucking call me You said you're gonna do this and you oh no, I got the and then they go back. Oh, it was fucking guy You know what the fuck, what an asshole. He confronted me on being a lying phony piece of shit. And he does that. Who the fuck, I don't know, why would he do that? Oh, we gotta make sure he doesn't get fucking anything.

Yeah, I mean, yeah, they were like this. You know the character of Sam, we're going in a different direction by him. And you're like, oh, really? And you go just because but I I guess I'm I'm another person. Let's be real Bob. We're like we were always killers on stage But we it's like our careers have always been we've been consistent at least but no one's ever been like let's go get that guy You know it's funny. It's funny to me for you because you're such a

It's funny. It's funny to me for you because you're such a You're so fucking talented. You're so funny. You're so I mean you and you're such a good-looking guy I mean you you're the package. I mean, I'm not saying that you know, no I'm not trying. I mean, I think you sexy and I'd fool around with you I'm from Boston. You know, I would never do that. Yeah, you're okay. But what I'm saying is that it's like, you really off. If I look at you, I'm like, this guy's got it all and you can act.

And I don't understand like, what the fuck, what do they want? Like what the fuck do you want? Yo. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, but now it makes me happy to see you, like you did, you, you did your thing and your op, whatever opportunities came up for you came up and you took them and you ran with them.

And in this one to that, this one to that, this one to that. And now you're on HBO, not on HBO on Netflix, right? The HBO on Netflix. Netflix. And Tiffany hadishes. Yeah. Joe. They ready.

She has a series. She did season one now, season two. She picked me, Tony Woods, Dean Edwards, Aaron Jackson, Kimberly Clark, and Barbara Carlyle. And every single one of those person deserves it. Every single one of those people on that list, there's not one industry pick. Right.

There's always an industry pick. There's always somebody that they're like, no, we need, we need at least one. We need it. Can you just give, okay, you can have those three and we're going to have these two because we need, look at that. Good for you. Look at Tony fucking woods overdo. Way overdo. I mean, look at the good for her for picking these people, good for Netflix, for doing this

show. Tiffany is Tiffany is an angelic man. I can't even. Yeah. She's a she's in she's on some other level. And you know, I've known Tiffany. You know, I used to be back and forth to L.A. I think a lot of us were I was bicostle actually for seven years. I've known Tiffany since 2003 when she when she was driving a geo. I think hers was a geo something of real shitty car. I used to give her money. I did a lot of things as far as like academically for her because she was, you know, she's a foster care kid.

She was in the comedy camp at Lafactory because Jamie Masada kind of groomed her. And that's when I kind of met her. She was really young and, you know, I just kind of took her in a room and I'm like, I'm willing, I tried to give her advice on shit. On academics is important. She's reading isn't quite, I just kind of took her over and we I tried to give her advice on shit on academics is important She's reading isn't probably I got I literally did that. I didn't know Tiffany was gonna be friends with Merrill Street I didn't know that she she literally dials Merrill shaft seen her she can call Merrill Street and call Oprah and call I

I've been on the phone with her where the Yankees are like on FaceTime with her like hey, Tim, you coming to the game? I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? I'm wearing a Yankees shirt. She don't like baseball But she you know, but that's her life now, but Tiffany is very very grounded She goes she knows what she's been through and I know what's funny is the stuff that the people that treated her like shit Who I know aren't looking at her like yo, Tim what's going is the stuff that the people that treated her like shit who I know aren't looking at her like yo tip what's going on man da da da but Tiffany has reversed everything she treats everybody with kindness she's not she goes I'm not going to use my bitterness towards anybody and I remember when she used to always say when I get to a certain level

and this is when she didn't have no fucking money nothing she goes I'm going to help all she talked about was helping not I'm going to Nothing. She goes, I'm going to help. All she talked about was helping. Now, I'm going to buy this. How? She goes, I'm going to help foster children. I'm going to help people, the comedians, the people overlook. I'm going to help black female comics.

I'm going to help other female cut. She just talked about helping people. All the mother fucking time. And excuse me, she got into a position. Remember, she's only been famous like maybe four or five years. As soon as she got juice, she took, listen man, she took a pay cut to have us on the thing.

She took a pay cut, bro. What do you mean? She was going to get offered a certain amount of money, but she wanted to double our money. So she took a pay cut to give us more money. I'm not even bullshit. You do. She's, but why wouldn't that, well, my question is why wouldn't the network do that? Why wouldn't the network go? You know what? We got it. No, no, because they probably just don't see us as, I mean, I'm just trying to, you know, not to be mean, but they probably didn't give a fuck. You know, I don't, you know, and there's like, all right, it's like, all right, here's

all this money. We're going to pay you a shitload of money. We're going to give them this money. And she's like, I'm just going to give them half my money. She's like, yeah, you know, it's like, and it was almost like when she told me, I mean, I was like, you know, maybe they don't see us as, you know, what are you going to do, man? You know, I was like, you know, maybe they don't see us, you know, what are you going to do, man? You know what I'm saying? And there's so many, all like, if I were, it's so funny because whenever I see specials on TV, if it ain't the main guys like the Chappelle and the Louise, I just go, oh, you want to do specials, just come to the seller and just hand them out.

Yeah. Just come to the seller. Yeah. There's Robert, there's, there's career barns, there's me, there's, I can just hand them out to the seller. Don't worry, Netflix will be, the comedy will be here. You leave just give it to these cats at the seller. I guarantee you, people are going to fuck with like Netflix comedy.

I'm just, I'm just proud to say that. I go pound for pound and this is not putting down any of the comics. Pound for pound. I'm sorry. We could we got a fucking army. Yeah. Man. God. Yeah. And a lot of them have passed. You we had Draldo in Patrino. Man. I know. I know. Yeah. It's like we would die in it. We would die in off. I feel like I had that I had that theory that that conspiracy theory that LA started taking our comics out You know what I mean they took out Patrice they tried to take out Keith, but he wouldn't go Such a fucking country old man Both sides man. He's like, you're not going nowhere. Where I'm not. I don't give a damn if I have a go for both sides. And then they took a movie. They're not going to do it. Stop it. God I'm still here. I don't give a damn if my head's falling off. I'm going right back on.

Oh, my God. I'm going right back on. He took us all out. Mike, just to follow my God, they just, you know, I'm like, that's why, you know, I'm an advocate of, you know, I've always been the healthy guy to try. You know, I've always been I me too. Fuck you laughing at. You're funny guy. You're funny guys.

Not the way you talk. What do I, Mew? Do I fucking a Mew? I fucking make you watch the way you talk. What am I fucking? Because a pizza and fucking rago you think I'm fucking I'm just saying things funny. I think it's true.

I think it's great though that she that makes me so happy when somebody takes their fame and their fortune and they they sprinkle it on everybody out. And you know what I mean because I mean a lot of people do that though Adam Sandler does it. I mean every Sam and I Louie did it. I mean, a lot of people do that though. Adam Sandler does it. I mean, every, Sandler, Louie did it. I mean, Colin does it. You know, everybody does that. I mean, Rogan does it for his guys. Boy, he does, man.

Bird does it. So it is amazing that comics, you know, do that. I'm happy that she did it too because this show, when I saw the lineup, I was like, fucking finally, especially for you, and I know Tony. I know the other people too, but I know you too. And for you and Tony, to finally, it's like, people say who's funny?

Look, man, I'm gonna say the name, but you're not gonna know who they are. You want me to say, Richard Pryor, or fucking Bill Burr, or you want me to say Dave Chappelle. All the people I know that aren't on TV, I'm gonna say Garfrey, if you see Garfrey, you're gonna lose your shit. You're gonna lose your shit.

You see Tony Woods, one of the funniest people walking, fucking planet earth, since for 40 years Tony Woods okay I mean and now that he's on that you guys around this show and people are gonna finally see you I hope that it finally pops you the fuck off where yeah we just you know you take it in stride you go we'll see what happens we'll see and I'm gonna do my best to let you know with social media because my social media, three years ago, I really, I said, you know what? I'm gonna get out of my own way

and I'm gonna really hit this social media hard. And I started getting with younger Instagram stars and I started doing sketches with them then I was in sketches that were in the millions. I was like, whoa. And so now I had this new demographic. These kids are like, man, we saw you in that thing with that guy.

And then I said, oh shit. So I started doing it more and more and more. And then I just turned the camera to myself. And I said, well now that I'm like kind of in the loop, I'm gonna start doing my own shit. Because I'm already funny. So I started doing shit. And these kids think I'm bare-aged,

they don't even realize, and they're like, what the fuck? I go, you know, boom. So then I start building. I was at 8,000 followers about four years ago. I'm at 556,000 followers. Yeah, nothing makes me more angry than that. I...

I... I... Because I remember we were in Montreal, you motherfucker. We were in Montreal. And you ain't have shit. I remember we were doing it. And then all of a sudden, you said to me, you go, dude, I'm doing this new thing. I'm, and you said, let me do it.

Let me do something with you right now. And we did this sketch, I know, some little thing back and forth about somebody. I forget what it was. It's probably on my Instagram. I think it was on your Instagram, I had mine. And you did it. I remember this shit popped off,

and all of a sudden your numbers started going crazy. And then you, this is one thing that you do, and I always check in at like three in the morning. I don't know anybody who does this. At three in the morning, you go live for nine hours. You know, you know Bobby's gonna exaggerate, go ahead. All right. You, I've come in here like this, huh?

Yeah. Nope. Yep. I mean, you go, you go live hours, dude. You go on there, it goes on and you fucking, you, you have people on. It's like a mini talk show at like two, two, thirty-three o'clock in the morning. Yeah. I've been going live. I would think like, about two, three years ago, every time I'd be at the seller, I would just turn on my live shit.

And I remember I would have 10 people watching, 20 people watching, and I said, you know what? I'm not gonna let the numbers bother me, and I said, all right, let me just do it. Just did it, did it, did it, then COVID hit. I said, okay, I'm gonna do, and I haven't missed a live since COVID started, not one time. You do what you do at certain nights, certain times?

I do it every single night, and I do it like 12 1 a.m. And I said, I'm going to do it every single night, and I'm not going to stop doing COVID. I'm going to just use this. And from there, I started going, Jay Farrell, one time we were doing me and this guy, A.C. on Crockett. He's a, you know, he's, you know, there's a lot of impersonators. You got every spears, you know, but people didn't realize I can do a lot of voices. So, because I wasn't known for that, because I didn't want to be corny. I want to have material. So during COVID, A.C. on Crockett, we're going back and forth doing voices.

So, oh, you saw the Steve Harvey thing, right? What? Okay, you know the podcast I do at gas digital, okay? Yes. So, we were talking about something with Derek Gaines and Rural Martin, and I said something, I said something in a Steve Harvey voice. You know, yeah. I think I heard about it. I said, what y'all say a Steve Harvey voice. You know, yeah. Yeah, I think I heard about it.

I said, what y'all say? I'm a telly LAS right now. So I start doing that. That shit went viral. That shit was like two, three million. And everybody was like, dude, how the fuck you just Steve Harvey? So I had J Ferrell. Everybody was like, damn, dude, I don't even have Steve Harvey and so we started doing these

voice battles online during COVID and I was kind of beating everybody because they didn't think I was they was like I didn't know you had all these voices I said I've always had them I just I'm not I haven't Jay Ferro, AP on Crockett, Erie's all have been on TV shows except me Jay Farrow, Atheon Crockett, Eris, all have been on TV shows except me. You all, I rejected, I rejected me three times. Uh, Matt, you audition for SNL. What? Three times. You audition for fucking kids.

Okay. Okay. Get me. I have to make me laugh. Why? Because I say something, you repeat it three times. Oh my God. Because I was an assistant.

Like I audition. Remember when I first came from Chicago, it was the last. It was the comic strip when Lucien was there. Right. And it was me, Jimmy Fallon, Kevin James, Tracy Morgan, Macy, we had to do stand up in front of Lauren Michaels and all of them, okay? Packed through.

I went up, they said, you need four characters, four impersonations. I was four, yeah, it was four different, yeah. And I did like five of them. I think I did cause, I did a bunch of these motherfuckers. I even did Johnny Carson, bro. I did Carson and I got a stand-in-ovation. This is me coming from Chicago and I'm new,

you know, I'm not, and I get off and I get a stand-in-ovation. My manager was at the time. My manor manager David just passed away last week. And he was like, dude, that was, wow, he goes, dude, you know, because you know, you gotta go and get a call back to go to the next phase. I didn't even get a call back. Nothing.

Nothing. I didn't get a call back. And you know, you're coming from Chicago, you've growing up on Eddie Murphy, and I saw Eddie Murphy concert in my college. And I was like, God damn, and think about that, you didn't get it. So I'm like, down like, God damn, I did my best, you know?

So fine, they gave it to Tracy Morgan. It was Tracy, you know, so I was like, wow, because I remember how I did. And so I didn't even understand it. So that, you know, that shit just weighs heavy on you for a while, you know? So then I was like, okay. So remember T-Sean Shannon? Yeah.

See, people don't... T-Sean Shannon, he was a writer on SNL. Right, he actually, he wrote with Colin on Tough Crowd. T-Sean Shannon, who was a twin. And I go T-Shaw and one day T-Shaw calls me, goes, God for man, I think he was from Texas. He goes, I need you to, I need, I want you all to confess to know again, man. I said, man, hell no dude, that fuck that shit.

I am not doing it T. I can't know that shit. That shit fucked me up. I was like, I can't man, that shit was too much man. People don't realize that to get to that point, to finally get there and to hit a home run. That's like hitting a home run in the ninth inning, grand slam and they don't let you win the game. Right, right, like, uh, it's like you hit on plate and nobody's there.

Nobody's can grab, because the other team just won. Yeah, yeah. It's like, I just hit a grand slam. Right, it doesn't sell out. It didn't count. And what's fucked up is I said, T-Shine, I'll think about it. And then I kind of like blew it off.

And then I did a table read with Colin Quinn. Remember he was going to do something that Adam Salad was going to produce about Saint Andrews bones. Were you there for that? I don't think so. It was Saint Andrews bones. That's what it was called. It's fucking infuriates me that he Colin Quinn did something and didn't have. Well Colin does a lot of addition doesn't include me either. And then it's sometimes he does. So it's weird. Do I get mad? Do Shay. Yeah, he's the over the right.

A lot of you do a lot of shit. And I'm never nothing. Colin goes, Colin goes, like, Colin goes, gov, I need you to read something. It's very important. You got like five. You can do almost places. I'm like, all right.

So I go, like, all right. So I go, all right. So I played five different characters. It's me, Tracy Morgan, Horatio Sans, we're at the SNL studio. And I'm at the studio like, wow, I've never been here, you know? But I know that I got rejected, but I'm doing something for Colin. So I play a Dominican and African,

it's like a multicultural movie. And I'm playing all the voices. I even did a Russian dude. Boom. So I'm doing this shit reading, reading it with like, and I didn't realize, and I'm watching somebody read,

and I like, wow, I didn't know they're not that great at reading. That's crazy. So I'm not gonna mention it. But Tracy, who knows? So I'm sitting there doing my thing. And I go, and this lady comes up to me. blonde lady, Marcy Klein, you know, Marcy. Marcy.

Yeah. Marcy goes, who are you? And I'm looking like, what the fuck you, what the fuck did I do? I'm like, who are you? And I'm looking like, what the fuck are you? What the fuck did I do? I'm like, who are you? She goes, after you finish, I need to talk to you. And I said, all right, and Kongles, do you know what a fuck that is? That's fucking Marcy Client.

That Marcy doesn't do that kind of shit. That's Marcy Client. I said, who the fuck is Marcy Client? You know Calvin Client's daughter. I said, okay, and so what? She's the one that gets people in the fucking SNL. I said, oh shit. I didn't know shit. Okay. She goes, I need your information. I've been watching you switch voices. You are so This one I was with William Morris before they went got together with the other group and I said, okay

So I told my agents they were like,, your kidding. I said, no, some lady blonde hair lady came to me, but I look like, okay, all right. Went and then they went, I guess they did whatever they could do. Never got an answer again. Nothing happened. Nothing. Uh, nothing. So I'm like, wait a minute, Marcy Cline. Yeah. Comes up to you and ask Colin. Wait a minute, Marcy Cine comes up to you and ask Colin. And this is the suck part of the business. You should, it should be in the union, right? That they have to call you and go, look, this happened. This is why you're not getting a,

this is something somebody called me, Lauren called me and said, I don't like that guy. Whatever, you should be able to know why. Yeah, I wish that people can tell you why. That would be nice. It would help, see that's the problem with our businesses. They don't like, let's say, even if it's a comedy club, just entertainment,

let somebody know something so you can work from that and go, oh, I get it. Or just say, you're not the, okay, cool. So I don't have to keep going over there. Well, you understand that the people that they do pick for that show, don't audition didn't go good. They didn't know how to, they don't even have to have, you know, three original, they tell you to have

three characters and two originals. And, you know, and you, people don't even have those. He just picks who he feels is the right choice. Yeah, well, you know, all, you know, as actors, when we audition, I'm just auditioning and doing what that fuck I need to do. I come from an athletic background. So it's like you come to practice,

and if you do well, you get to start. If you don't do well, you might be the second string. That's how I go by. That's how I came, I approached that's how I came I approached it I go I'm gonna just try to do my best. I don't know that's that's logical to me. So you do your denzel real quick So I if Denzel he'd like so you didn't get you didn't get the job is what are we gonna do? We're gonna practice our job right all right? You hear everybody in here knew exactly what he did He did four characters. He did them all you should have been on the show

You know what I mean? So I What's all my favorite actor in the fucking planet? Yeah, he's my favorite. It was Robert Duval But Robert Duval's fucking drinking wine eating pig somewhere Dad's L is my favorite was fucking drinking wine eating pig somewhere. That's how is my favorite. He's a bad actor. He's a bad actor. Mother fucking.

But that was great. What would that tell you Bobby Kelly advice and acting? He's like, uh, he's like, uh, stop yelling. No, it's getting worse. I know. He's like, no, Bobby, you're talented. You're talented. Just keep trying.

I think you're going to be all right. All right. I got a project for you, but I just think, you know, I think're talented. Just keep trying. I think you're gonna be all right. All right. I got a project for you, but I just think, you know, I think you just gotta keep going. We got a man up. We got a man up.

I'm gonna man up. Okay, did that. Everyone done so. But, but, but, even I met Denzel four times, okay? And I even met, I remember one time I was at this Nike thing and Denzel was on the wash saying, yo, Mr. Wash is saying, wow, he goes like this.

He's like, yeah, you're the comedian guy, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I've seen you. Funny, you funny. I was like, fuck, that was cool. Me and Arty met on another time right after training day at a party because Denzel used to be at the same parties we were at sometimes. And he would just be with his little hat and shit.

And he'd just be like chilling and I was like, oh, it is. Oh, but other than that, um, then I said, okay, like that was another rejection. Like I said, wow, I don't know what it is, man. And I didn't, I didn't, uh, that was Marcy Klein approach of me, you know, I mean nothing happened So I was already like all right enough because everybody would come up to me. How come you know, I said you should be on Then Jamie Massada from the Lafactory Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy. Uh, you go up after Dan Cook, okay? Dan Cook

Yeah, yeah, he doesn't want to follow you. Listen, buddy, he said, I want, we have SNL is coming to Lafactory. I need you, buddy, you can, you are too talented, buddy, to come to, you have to come to LA. I'll fly you out, you have to audition. I know you can do it. I said, Jamie, I said, Jamie. I've been rejected by them

I'm good on the same body listen. It's okay. You have the talent body don't waste come to LA. It's very good I know they're producing everybody producing I said So then I didn't go I said I'm not doing it. So they gave it to Finest Mitchell that year. Oh, so you you could have got it maybe. I don't know. I just Jamie talking. I mean, come on. I was with my varsity client was in my face and I couldn't come on, bro. So and then I said no more SNL shit, but it would all even remember when Dane was getting Dane Cook was in his Dane Cook days where he was just like, yeah. Dane, it was, remember he would walk around us

with his hat down. I go, Dane, we know you. What are you doing? Right. Huh. That was just, I had to live through that shit. And so even Dane Cook wanted to do. I can't really fault them because I remember

when I booked my first LA pilot and we were shooting it. And I went to the, I was out in San Diego and it was a Sunday and I went to the mall and I put my hat down and I had sunglasses on like people gonna recognize me. But it was a pilot, like so. It's stupid. It never aired.

So the only people that would have recognized me was the sound guy or the key grip or the catering lady. Ha. So I really, I was a douche. What it recognized me was the sound guy or the key grip or the catering lady. So I really, I was a douche. I was like walking around. I was like, hey, can I see those sneakers? I, uh, day cooks like this. Yo, what's up, bro?

What's up, bro? What's up? So day goes one day, day just goes, I don't get it. How come you're not an SNL? Even Dane out of his Danish. So it's like, how come you're not an SNL? I go, fuck out. I don't fucking it. How come you know that SNL even Dane out of his Dane mission? Yeah, how come you know that's the like oh fuck out of fucking no dude. He goes that doesn't make any sense He's like and then then

My my new manager that I still have actually He was like one day he goes why don't you he's a goofy little like you know, why don't you do that SNL you'd be great on I said Karen listen, who's your manager fucking Lenny Marcus? He's a goofy little white. I wanted to do that. That's an L. You'd be great. I said, Karen, listen. Who's your manager, fucking Lenny Marcus? I swear to God, if you met him, you'd be like, God damn. Like, what did you, you know what, hey, why didn't you? And he goes, just, you know, I know the guy in the man, my man.

I said, dude, they don't fuck with me, dog. Period. So then, bang. He he knows me just do some characters I'm gonna give him a date with him so I go I go all right all right I'm gonna do some throw away bullshit and I gave him he goes man, those were awesome. I'm gonna send him off. I want to meet this guy. I'm waiting to meet him. It's funny too. And he can he send him nothing.

Not they were like, no, I said I told you. I don't know what it is. And then Darryl Hammond called me over. You know Darryl, when he's the man in black. Oh, dude, we were in Houston one time. It was 111 out. I was in front of the hotel. He walks out in all a black suit with a black hat.

Yeah. And he goes, how are you doing? And I went off on this thing for like 10 minutes. I was going through this shit. And I was talking to me just sit there and I had a hat on. And then he said nothing. He looks at me and he takes it off of his cigarette. He goes, do you wear a hat on stage? I was like, what?

I'm gonna go. Darryl happened. Literally goes. He goes, God, for I've been wanting to talk to you for a while. You know, I go, what's up? You know, you we've done shows with him at the seller, thousands of times. Sweet guys. He goes, I just did his podcast. Have you done it yet? No, no, no, no. It's like he goes, he goes, do you remember, do you remember 1998 when you were auditioning for the blah blah blah? Yes, no, I said, yeah, I'm a fucker. He goes, I was there. He goes, I was there. I was sitting right next to Lauren Michaels. And I remember what you did.

I said, I gotta say, he goes, you were the coldest shit that was the great, I was the best shit the whole night. It was a wrap. And he goes, when you were on stage, I knew you weren't gonna get it after that shit. Why? He broke that shit down to me. And he

gave me closure. Finally, what? What? Wait, wait, give it for the extra 10. Oh, wait. I'm kidding. No, fuck that. Do it. I'm kidding. I was kidding. No, he tell me. Darryl just told me, he said, man, I'm just saying. He goes, you were too good. He's like, you were, yeah. He said, Dad, you were too good, man. Like, I'll tell you some other shit after that, but yeah, he's like, you were too good. It was like two, it was two polished, two. I go, I was just doing comedy.

I'm only been doing comedy only two or three years. He goes, I'm telling you, you were the strongest thing there. He's like, I said, I was there. You blew that shit away, I'm telling you, you were the strongest thing there. He said, I said, I was there. You blew that shit away, I remember. Dude, he said it like it was yesterday. He described everything. And he said, I knew you weren't going to, and I'll explain it to you off.

I'm not saying it out of here. Really? Mm-hmm. Well, you say it on my Patreon when only paid people can see it. Maybe I'll say it out. I think maybe I'll do it like that. Yeah, but yeah. Before we, I want to tell you though, I got closer to it.

It's like, okay, cool. All right. Fucking with that. You got, you got, you got in the fucking, into the, uh, Mason club. You got into the Luminati. You got into the Luminati. You got into the fucking, where you're not supposed to see, right?

Yeah, you're not supposed to. Dad, this is the reason. I said, oh, fuck. Yeah, and I was like, okay. All right, you know, but at least it was closer because it was too weird. Because I know what's her name? V. S. In your as a friend of mine.

Melissa. Melissa, Melissa, I've done shows with her in Montreal and she used to call me to help her with jokes. She's like, God, I'm trying to work on this joke from a very, you know, little boys. And it's like, I just want to, I don't want to be goofy. And so I would, I would help her with jokes. And when she tried out for SNL like four times and made it.

She tried out a lot of times. I was like, good for you. I'm going to go. Did it first and Wig audition four times too? I guess probably I don't know. I mean, I know. Oh, I am. And this was a white lady struggling four times

and then finally making it. The fuck is wrong with you? Jason, we do that too. That was everybody. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Gabby.

Jason, try. Jason, we're just trying. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Gabby. Jason, try. Jason, we're just trying.

Jason, we're just trying. Jason, we're just trying. I'm sorry. Jason, we're just trying. Jason, we're just trying. Jason, we're just trying. Jason, we're just trying. Jason, we're just trying. I'm sorry, Gabby. Jesus Christ. The wig is hot. So I'm sorry. I'm not apologize. I was just so happy. I'm listening. I'm laughing at everyone's jokes.

And then I say one thing. What? Well, if you weren't fucking a call girl, why is there a bed in you behind you? What are you doing? This is my room. I live in a room. You look like a fucking like one of those cam girls. Yeah, all right.

You have Christmas lights by now. Yeah, well, I'm fucking Satan. What the fuck? Hey, Godfrey, I want to talk to you something. We're going to get into why you haven't been on my podcast in the extra 10. Again, mush, bring that up. He is on Netflix right now on a fucking, listen, you gotta go check it out.

Everybody on there, everybody on there, fucking deserves this shot. Hilarious. Tiffany Haddish is right now. They ready. Shout out to Tiffany Haddish. And by the way, I shout out to Wanda Sykes' company who also produced it in page, her producing partner who was also comedian

for a long time. And we, and that, and that was filmed outside, by the way. We were outdoors. It's great. Dean Edwards. I love Dean. Dean Edwards. Dean was on us in Al for a minute. Yeah, he was. Sure was. Was that guy next year again? I forget his name. That's Alex Thomas. Alex Thomas. Okay. He was he was warming up the show getting the crowd right.

He's from he's a very like what that's one of Will Smith's best friends. He punched up a lot of Will Smith's movies and stuff like that. Tony Tony Woods. I mean, nobody has ever made me laugh hanging out with Tony Woods. He's foreign after a show. There's been nobody. I mean, I just, I can't say how he just kills me. He turns me into a square. Like around everybody else, I'm a comic. I'm in there getting around Tony Woods. I'm a regular person just laughing. Like an audience

member. And he talks in code too. You're like, Hey, shawty, let me take what? Yeah, yeah. What did you say? Tony? I'm just saying, Gabby, go go Gabby. Remember that. Remember that? Yeah. And so, man, I'm shaming a man, I'm scabbard of do scabbard of I am. What? But you are. So make sure you check that out. Check it out. It's on Netflix now, God for you and go to his Instagram. His Instagram is, uh, I mean,

I'm going up. Comedian Godfrees my Instagram, but if you just type in God for that pops up even quicker, which is great. I actually looked for our, um, I looked, I look for our, uh, the, the thing we did for your, for your, uh your Instagram, you took it off. What? What? What?

The video we did for your Instagram, remember that one up in Montreal? No. We did a video, I'm telling you right now. Somebody told you. Somebody told you. I just fucking tell you. Somebody told you that that shit was not on brand.

Somebody told you that that was not on brand. I'm looking for my mouse pad, Dodd, and I needed to get to your stupid fucking Instagram. Somebody told, the Instagram would mean you that was on your Instagram, that was supposed to blow me up. That was supposed to get people over to my shit. Okay, you deleted, you took it off, which fucking... No, I bought the beta new, I think I made a new account.

What the fuck? That, first of all, I don't like that because I can't even check on that. Like, I can't even investigate that horse shit. I mean, you fucking deleted it, you took it down because it wasn't getting enough heat. No, that's not it. We can do it that lesson. My numbers are good now. We can do something now.

Oh, what the fuck does now mean? What the fuck on the way up? You don't wanna show me fucking the tying guy? No, I actually wanna show me a tying guy. It's gonna be great. No, God, dude. All right, well, you do this other thing because I've been wanting, you know, I'm watching your career.

I love when you get stuff and I can see your Instagram, you said it yourself, you said, fuck it, I'm gonna do my thing. I don't care. I'm just doing what I do, what I want to do. And I'm gonna go get people into my social media. That's my thing. And then you had a show, you did a show on Sirius, you have your own podcast now, and you also did this thing on Vlad TV, which you were on all the fucking time.

And I'm like, okay, they have all these really famous people on this podcast. Mainly, mainly African American like artists and stuff like that. Of course, yeah. And then you were on all the time. Yeah. And you see, which I love, the vlogs from Vlad, what you gave me, Shifuah. The hell? I'm sorry.

Did that gross you out? I apologize. Say excuse me at least. Excuse me to both of you fucking asses. Thank you. I apologize. I'm drinking bubbly. I don't appreciate that. Get some decorum in your life. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Yo, um, Vlad, you think yeah, I have a question for you too. Vlad go ahead. Vlad. Tell me. Vlad is a Ukrainian Jewish cat. I thought he was a black guy, because he interviews you

and he's not on camera. And I thought this whole time, I thought he's black, dude. And so I would watch a lot of the vlads. I would see red men and different rappers on there. And they always had Italian mobsters on there. It's like, we're here. So I'd be like, oh, these interviews are cool. They're candid.

You can see what I'm fucking want. candid. You can say whatever you want. That I can tell he wasn't a black guy. He was too nazily to be a black guy. There's a different way. So I'm not afraid. God-free. They're black. He's gonna talk like that.

I thought he was black because of all the African Americans. Yeah, yeah, right. He had a lot of black people. Right, but I said, maybe he's a black dude. So, and then I It's so funny because we knew some of the same people when I was on series XM I knew a guy that was producing on my show. He knew Vlad. He goes, yo, that would be a good look You should try. I know Vlad. So then he got in touch with them. Vlad said all my big fan of that guy and Then come to find out his wife who's black. I used to mess with her in New York

So before he married before she married. This is yeah, it's weird because I used to mess with her in New York. So before he married, before she married, this is, yeah, it's weird because I used to think and that's, I mean, because when I did Vlad, she called me and said, Hey, you're doing really well. I said, what the fuck are you talking about? I don't know. Vlad. Oh, that's my husband. That's why I said, Oh, shit. You married that motherfucker. I was like, oh damn. So he looks like Barry catch younger brother, by the way. Oh god, Freenis is great. No one on the fucking podcast with my brother. So I go. So I, so I, so that really was great because I was like a staple on there. I got a lot of numbers.

My numbers changed, demographic changed. Everybody was watching. It was like television. And so then I fell out with Vlad, not fell out, but he just made a comp, he just kind of disrespected a particular leader in the African community. And I said, why don't you just apologize, dude? You said, you lied on him.

Just, you know, and so Vlad didn't want to do that. And so I was like, well, we got to kind of part ways, bro, because you can't get mad at Nick Cannon when he brings up Jewish stuff, you're mad at him. But then when you say something about our folks, then you're not apologizing for it, but you're making money off us. I said, I gotta go, dude.

Wow. Did other people follow with that? Yeah, a lot of people did, because it's minister Farrakhan, and I don't care. Listen, I'm not a Muslim. I'm not a Muslim none of that, but you lied on him. Even if I listen to Rush Limbaugh and I lie on him, I owe the guy an apology if he didn't say some shit that I said. Right. If I go, Rush Limbaugh said,

burn all black people and he didn't say that, I owe them other fucking apology. He did not say that. He didn't say what you said, black and you lied. And then black goes, well, I put out a statement. I go, your statement was like the statement of a fucking technical difficulty, bro.

You should have said sorry to him. And the top it off is that you've interviewed people From the nation of Islam they've given you interviews and they giving you security on the street They they protect them on the street and then you you lie on the leader of the people that give you security dude as a man As just logical you go oh dude, as a man, as just logical, you go, oh, man, but I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done it. And that's it. But you why wouldn't he, why doesn't make sense to me?

Because he seems like a logical guy. Right. I love his interviews are really good. Very good stuff. And people open up to him. Right. They're always on the verge of he gets stuff out of people that he probably, you know, you probably would be hard to get out of people.

And they're always on the verge of dangerous. Right. Sometimes it's like, what time do they get arrested for? Shit. So yeah, sometimes it's great, right? And even with you, I like when you're on, what's his name?

Lord, I like spear, you know, do you mark?? Spears. Spears. I like spears. Yeah. Yeah. Because they, they, they, they, they go into some deep shit that you, you know, yeah, that you, you probably shouldn't know, you know, this is shit you talk about with your friends, but they'll, they'll be like, fuck it. Let's go.

And even with the racial shit, it's not, it's not this, I don't feel like it's like he likes when we go all in and I go and me and Lord Jamar, that's just for funny because I do Lord Jamar's podcast. It's called the God cast and we called Vlad and said, Hey, Vlad, you're gonna like as we're not going to talk about you behind your back and that bullshit. We're going to tell you to your face. You owe him an apology. And he didn't do it. It says, well, we're out, man. We can't, you can't get mad. You're mad at Nick Cannon.

When Nick Cannon used to do his show, Nick Cannon said something about the Jewish community. And then they all came down on him. He almost lost, wiling out, and all these other shit. And then you say something about folks that black people revere, and you don't apologize for that. And you're making money off from black culture. We're like, I gotta go, dude, because I was getting pressured by the nation Islam.

Because they love me. The nation Islam call you. They fucking call me. They fucking DM me. They said, and they were very like, brother, we just need to talk to you about a couple of things. Um, I said, Oh, shit. That's a scary shit to me. If I ever go. Oh, Elijah Farrakhan, his grandson was like brother. If you've seen Elijah Farrakhan, he's, he's a jujitsu master. He's like, bring him up Elijah Farrakhan, bring up Elijah Farrakhan. Bring up Elijah Farrakon. Bring up Elijah Farrakon. And you know when people talk to you calmly, it's mush, it's gonna take a couple minutes.

Oh, his name's mush. Yeah, he has that. Now he's got, he's in a snowstorm in San Antonio. Is it mush? Because mush in French is a fly, so. No, he's in a snowstorm in San Antonio. Is it mush because mush in French is a fly? So no, he's not a fly like mush when you say mush. It's like a fly That's because I know the reason why you know French is because you banged a French chick back. Remember remember Olivia Oh, why remember Olivia? She was French in Italian. Yeah, there's many of girls that you you were with and then I was with after you and I asked

them I asked the other French girl the whose father was an architect that was the other French girl who worked very loud very loud girl yeah oh she was like but I had sex with her and she was loud holy shit that looks you sure she should that's not the Janet Jackson rhythm nation video? No, that's I'm joking. Wow, that guy looks like he can fucking heard somebody. Uh, yeah. Um, so he, he, he, he's a good dude for his eyes. He goes, that's F O I through the Vizloc.

So he said, um, and they all said, brother, we love what you do for us. We love your comedy. We're big fans. We just got to talk to you about this blad situation. I said, yes, sir. I say. And then we had a conference call, me, Lord, you're a bunch of us. And I don't know if you know who Royce the five nine is.

That's Eminem's boy. And Eminem, he's a rapper, real sick rapper. Roy? Royce the five nine Royce D8 5 9 Royce the 5 9 that's Eminem's camp All right, and Eminem he called you don't like you know, I don't know him. I'm acting like I knew I'm causing so I can Google but you know I apologize He was in the Zeppelin, he was in Zeppelin, he was the guitarist who's the Zeppelin,

you don't remember the game. That's Jimmy Page, I know exactly. I know. You know Jimmy Page, what about Boston? He was a boss through Boston. Yeah, I know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know them, yeah.

I saw them three times. He was the basis for Judas Priest. Yeah, I was. I was. That's Royce's Five-Nine. So he's from Detroit. That's Eminem's best, like one of his best friends. Are there any rappers that take fun photos? Like a goofy one?

Is there anybody? Is that against Raptor? Nah, nah, not with the black man. There's too much shit going on, brother. All right, all right. That's not for that bull shit. So It's too much shit going on brother. All right, all right. That's all shit So that's why we take photos like this take the photo My next out is called fuck you man

It's a lot of serious faces You know that you're You're gonna be the head of you're gonna be the head of the rich new album. Yeah, Robert chicken like I just should go over the the Islam the brotherhood. This my second album killers. But they all like everybody just sent me a message using hey, we need to talk and I said no morally It's the it's the right thing to do. I'd rather have the nation of Islam on my side than black So you done with Vlad just not and we're not beefed I just said I just got to separate as far as business wise and just

Is there is there a way that if he was wrong that he could actually now Is there a way that if he was wrong that he could actually now be like, look, what I said, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it always is too late. This is three months, bro. Like, what do you want? Wait, no, fuck that. Just in wait for this is like five, almost five months. My friend, like, you, you had a chance, you had a window, but it will look, it'll look,

maybe if your numbers went down and you say, sorry, maybe your numbers on, but he's all about numbers. He don't really care. So, hey, man, but he's all about numbers. He don't really care So hey, man, it's a busy and everybody is in every dude. I've had I've had people friends of mine people I've helped out You know, I was at the beginning. I helped out a lot of fuckers Yeah, and then they were told or they told his numbers In cancel my podcast don't do my say go fuck yourself. You think I do this podcast because

I'm here to I'm here to because I like doing this. Yeah, I've liked doing podcasting before any of you fucks You didn't wait before everybody. I never did it for something. I did it because I liked it Yeah, you know, they mean and then I help a bunch of you mother fuckers. You know, do you have people who kind of turn their back on you? I have a lot of people that turn their back on me. That's so fucking wack, though. It's fucking crazy. And I, and I turn my back on you at around, around 10 years ago.

And I'll tell you why right now. Oh, I'm gonna tell you right now right on air. Only for patreon.com, Sash, Robert Kelly. Please check out Godfrey's new special produced by Tiffany Haddish and 100 Sikes. They ready. It's on Netflix. It is fucking great.

He is hands down. If I had to pick a team, he's on it. He's top top five player. It's comedy team. He's hands down. If I had to pick a team, he's on it. He's top top five player. It's comedy team. He's on it. We're winning fucking every Super Bowl there is. Tony Woods, you got to check it out. Gabby, what do you got besides a fucking seductive looking bed?

Oh, I can lure middle-aged men into and make around $250. Oh, yeah. Who 50? That's it. What the fuck? I told you, you around a $250.00 a nice. Oh, yeah. Who 50? That's it. What the fuck? I told you, you're a Jersey six. I'm a Jersey 10.00.

For the last time, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Gabby's Brian. I have a comedy newsletter every month. You could subscribe with the link in my bio. And that's it. Oh, I have a podcast called Una Bash podcast. Godfrey, what were you rate her from one to 10? Oh, look at those. Look at those. I'm fresh out of the shower. Don't look at my hands. I have bad hands.

I'll admit it. I'll see the hands. What have gotten you a 10. I'll say 10. I've a rocking body. 10. Why don't we do? Why don't we go by grades like A plus B. Yeah. Yeah. She be a she be a she be okay Mexican restaurant in LA. What the fuck?

B plus nice B minus. Because your hands are fucked up. They're just big. Okay. Munch at Mike V. Suarez. Munch, what do you got, buddy? All right, Munch passed out. He's not there. My producer's not there. I think it's like it's right.

Okay, Munch. Well, the timing is really awful. You all right, buddy? Oh, no, I'm streaming the car. And I don't have internet in my house. Yes. Yes. All right, Bush, what do you got? You got a podcast with Greg Stone.

Oh, yeah, Mr. Ridiculous. So I'm on nerd stuff about the upcoming jail on Santa Cut. All right. I want to you guys to check it out and make sure you check me at robbakevlive.com. I am booked all through March, half of April. I'm a hegan sons at the beginning of March. I'm going to Utah I'm going Uncle Vinnie's I'm going all over the fucking place and I will I will be in a rubin next week

If you guys want to fly down and go to my Instagram, you guys get sick rates. I think it's $89 a night or something at the Hilton It's only three 300 bucks to fly. Get the fuck down if you want to come. I want to thank all the ladybugs. We are not leaving. We are staying for the extra 10 right now for Patreon members only. See if you're a member of the Patreon, Hwapau. Here we go. All you guys get this. Why I kicked fucking gov free. Not off, but I never asked to ever notice it. We'll see you guys next week. You know what, Y es que esto es la verdad, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, me ha visto, Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras te esperan. ¡Friparás!

Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en Volotea. Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. you