Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Goopies

Episode Date: June 10, 2019

Sal Vulcano, Eleanor Kerrigan and Andy Fiori come in with Bobby for an episode so good Sal can’t retweet it! We go in depth on how to misuse hotel amenities, when are they too gross to stay in and what words should your kids use! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network Riotcast.com Welcome to the funniest podcast on the Planet Earth. This is going to be a clash to fire. It's podcast, it's no rule. I'm sure I've already said should I regret it? Can I get a microphone? No, that's so far. That was trying to keep it like a comic.

I have a bunch? Oh, that's a fuck! That was trying to keep it like a comic-catch. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down, and sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's 10-no-topics, no directions. I love doing it. Play both sides of the coin! That's how it all holds her.

That's how you motherfuckers want to do it. My podcast is popular enough where I might affect somebody's life. You never know. It's Robert Killies, you know what to podcast on flightcats.com. Oh, I know. I'm a bad guy, Richel. What a bad guy.

What a bad guy. What a bad guy. What a bad guy. What a bad guy. What a bad guy. What a bad guy. What a bad guy. What a bad guy.

What a bad guy. What a bad guy. What a bad guy. What a bad guy. What a bad guy. What a bad guy. What a bad guy. What a bad guy. What a bad guy. What a bad guy. What a bad guy. We've had fans, we've lost fans, we've gained more fans. But you know what, we're back.

The you know what, dude, podcast is back. I sound shitty as usual. Now I sound better. Zach, don't panic. We got a great show tonight. I mean, holy fucking Toledo, we have a great show tonight. I want to thank my man over at Harmony Artwork right here. He sent me these.

He has these great little comedy artwork.com for comedy design, a little man named Brian. We've had him on the show before a long time ago. He does these great, he does a lot of comics. He does that artwork. What is that noise? B and C. OK, can you shut that mic off that is in front of the AC?

One minute. I mean, that mic right there. Is that off? What, really? Yeah. It's so loud. Oh my god, I can't wait to fucking redo the studio. It's been great. But all kinds of great ones.

He has a magnet. He gave me a magnet auto in George. How great is that? And there's of course me, Billy Burr, Joe Rogan. He has a magnet. He gave me a magnet auto in George. How great is that? And there's of course me, Billy Burr, Joe Rogan, it actually looks the same, just different stages of fat. You know, like, I'm terrible at looking at this. It really does. I mean, it looks like, you know,

here's at the, you know, the beginning of the career, when the career pops and then at the end, when the show gets taken off and you get fucking hashtag me too and you fucking eat your way into Westchester. It's like a Pokemon evolution chart. All right, well, there you go. You can, whatever, kids listen to that and laugh. I have a nine year olds got that one.

Who the fuck knows Pokemon? It would be insane if nine year olds were listening to this. I guarantee nobody, first of all, that was a joke, It was called sarcasm. You woke son of a bitch. And number two, I, my point was, I do I know nobody, nobody fucking knows a Pokemon joke. I knew it.

Yeah, because you're in the nerd from a much do a Pokemon joke. Pokemon joke, that's a lawyer. I think I, oh my God. You think these fucking losers don't watch Pokemon and play Pokemon on that's of course he does look He looks like a Pokemon the Mexican Pokemon. Oh, you kind of do Alex you look a Snorlax right now actually. I don't even know what that is Bring it up. I'll see if it's my job

I fucking think that's adorable Love your snorlax. You look like a snorlax. I'm not gonna have to deal with fucking all these, got the emphoto shops in my face and a snorlax. First of all, snorlax looks like he enjoys his life. Yeah. He's the same toenails as me too.

Oh, my toenails are so bad that Don makes me paint them when we go on vacation. What? Yeah, I paint my big toe because it got that fun guy on it. I have a joke about it. I feel my toe as fun. It's like, you made me paint it. What color?

Black. So it's the only thing that's like, what? Cover it. That covers it. Yeah. Yeah. It looks like a weird punk rock team. I look like a punk rock fucking snore acts Whatever the fuck it is. Anyway, it's big party yesterday. Yeah, that was great, right?

I love that fun. It was very fun. It was a great. I think next year I every year I put these parties on you guys My fans of mine know that we have a big party. It's the max birthday party and I invite all my comic friends up and it started from Patrice's parties you still have these barbecues and then when I moved up country Keith was like come on still But get this barbecue going. Let's do this, you know, and I was like fuck yeah, so I started doing the barbecue and We had it max's party when he was younger. He really didn't, you know, whatever he was one or two. I think he was two at the time.

And now it's huge. Now it's fucking big. Yeah. I mean, there's so many kids there now with their parents, friends, now they're friends of ours. You have to make friends. A couple of years ago, they were just coming in. I just, you know, now I know these people.

I actually like these people. There's a lot of kids, there's like 20 kids. A lot of kids, man, but we worked it out. We got a magician. We got a clown. You got kids? Get a clown. It's it.

Just get a- Get not star-vy. The fuck, I hired a clown, you fucking... I can't say it. Wait, no, you parents. Bobby whispered to me, I'll say it. Fucking dumb whore. Yeah, dumb whore, God.

God, thank you. Yeah, we, um... Max said something really cute to me when I walked in. Nice boobs. That was a... I said to him, I was like, hey, Max, happy birthday. And I have my big glasses on. And he goes, who are you in your voice, basically?

And I took him off and I go, it's Gabby. And he goes, oh my god. And he walks away, comes back with a purple lay. And just puts it around my head. And he goes, thanks for coming. Aw, I got a good kid, man. I got a good kid. He's great.

I got a good fucking kid. I'm very excited that I have a good kid man. I got a good kid. He's great. I got a good fucking kid. I'm very excited that I have a good kid because there's some shit kids. Or what he said to Jim's son. What he said to Jim's son when they were playing the drums. What? What is it? Remember Don Tony? I forget what was it? Oh, they were playing the drums and they finished playing and he goes, uh, you like cigars? He went over to ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I was gonna have to bring everybody inside. So I had to invite some people and I had to pray that some people didn't show up because it wasn't being beautiful. So we could have had more people, but whatever.

It's all good. Great time. Mike showed up. Everybody showed up except for Chris, and Zach, you didn't fucking come. For who? For me. You worked for me.

Okay. What are you gonna come and hang out with us? I love you guys. All right, I love you too, but. Your Bobby, your backyard is like a paradise for children. It's a blame. Like you have paradise. Yeah, you had like the pirate ship and the zip line

and all that stuff. That was like, that was like, I do. I do have a pirate ship. I have a zip line. I have a jungle gym thing with the rock wall. Yeah, I got a lot of stuff from my kid. Yeah. It's great. It is a cool little backyard. It was, it was a lot of fun. I bought that. I bought the, um, what's the bouncy house? It's a fucking massive bouncy house. Marina Franklin went in it, fell down the slide. Uh, just remember half her boom came out

and I just remember all the comics just staring at a boom. Well, and then my course, my babysitter, Jesus Christ. Poor girl. Why poor? I mean, look, I love my baby. This is the best babysitter we ever had. She is the fucking best. Me and Don love her.

She's just great with Max. Like most baby said, as you're high, how are you? It's like, she comes in, she's funny. She's fucking her Max. Have a good time. She makes us laugh. She's hilarious. I mean, yes, she's walking. Where's my phone? Where's my phone? She's walking out. It's in her back pocket. And I'm just like, Hey, she's in it's in my back pocket, right? And I go, yeah. But you know, she showed up yesterday, like looking like J. Low and every fucking comic that was who's that? Like it's my babysitter. Are you stupid? What's wrong with you? Lewis goes out and give her a $6,000 to babysitting James in the city. I, let's announce he's a little early because he's fucking new.

Most most most comics. No, it's true. The the vets come late. They come late. They come on on time or late. Yeah, the new light. The new guys coming right 10 minutes early. I'm excited.

I like being punctual. Yeah, it's great. Yeah, you do. Six minutes. No, it's not now. You came in fucking five minutes ago. Let's introduce our guest, Mike. We have. No, you, it's not now. You came in five minutes ago. Let's introduce our guest, Mike. We have Andy Fiori, everybody.

Is your mic on? I don't know. Mike, turn his mic up. What do you fucking stop trying to sabotage Mike? And if you are guys, what's up, buddy? How are you? Thanks for having me. It's going to be a big show tonight.

Great. All right. So a lot of people in here. Is that your, is that you? Yeah, that's me. That's going to be a big show tonight. Great. All right. So a lot of people in here. Is that your, is that you? Yeah, that's me. Who's that? That's a you. Who is that?

Why is your hand so big? I don't know. Yeah. That doesn't even look like you. I noticed that before. Oh my God. Your fucking hand is massive. Holy shit.

Look at it. It's probably a fish eye. It's a fish eye picture. Yeah, but you look different. You look nerdy here. Like in life, you look rock and roll. It's probably a fish eye. It might be a picture. Yeah, but you look different. You look nerdy or like in life, you look rock and roll. It's four years ago. Okay. So you kind of miss wings that one. Your hair was your beard was thinner now. The beard is a little thinner. Hair's a lot shorter. We keep going. God, that was a good look for me. Yeah, we keep going. Keep going. Kind of tips on around the old the weight gain. Yeah,

Keep going. Keep going. Kind of tips on around the old waking. Yeah, you said that. I don't know if you actually jumped over it. I thought you could jump anymore. You were, you were like, you're really good at that hair. I know. Yeah, my hands, baby.

My fat belly caught onto my hand. I, yeah,dle to my hand. I fed belly cuddle to my hand. I fed belly cuddle to my hand. I fed belly cuddle to my hand. I fed belly cuddle to my hand. I fed belly cuddle to my hand. I fed belly cuddle to my hand. I fed belly cuddle to my hand. I fed belly cuddle to my hand. I fed belly cuddle to my hand. I fed belly cuddle to my hand.

I fed belly cuddle to my hand. I fed belly cuddle to my hand. I fed belly cuddle to my hand. I fed belly cuddle to my hand. I fed belly cuddle to my hand. I fed belly cuddle to my hand. I fed belly cuddle to my hand. I fed belly cuddle to my hand.

I fed belly cuddle to my hand. I fed belly cuddle to my hand. I fed belly cuddle to my hand. I fed belly cuddle to my hand. I fed belly cuddle to my hand. I fed belly cuddle to my hand. I fed belly cuddle to my hand. I fed belly cuddle to my hand. I fed belly cuddle to my hand. I fed belly cuddle to my hand. And this is, listen, I suggest this to anybody who has a big party, get like a cleaning service, like if you have somebody that comes to your house every couple weeks, have them come in, spend the fucking money. She is the fucking best.

She is amazing. She cleans as the party's going. That is. She cleans. So at the end of the night, when it's over and everybody's gone, everything's clean. Dishes are done. Everything's, everything's clean. Everything's organized. Me and Don just have to take down a couple things. And it's done. I smoked a fat bag. Me and my buddy Joe just sitting there just a big backyard with, we have like 60 people there, kids, clowns, bunnies, fucking rich boss.

We have a lot of people, man. Good for you too. Oh yeah, it was a good time. I had my cleaning lady come the other day, and you forget about it. Like I let her in in like nine in the morning. Oh, Jesus. And then you go out and you do your day,

but you forget. So when you come home, you go, oh, you've got that great feeling of walking in. Do you have a house? I have a one bedroom apartment. You have a cleaning lady for a one bedroom apartment. You would let a piece of shit. Shoot.

Are you? It is one of the great luxuries of life. There they are. What's up, dad? Sit right there. That's what I said. Thank you. What? He goes, I thought we started at nine.

We do. We started a little listen. So you downstairs, you can come out. I know. Can I explain? I'm a person we started at nine. We do we started a little listen. So you don't say you could come out of him I know I can I explain a person don't say listen. I will First of all listen to me. Yeah, let him pay the fee You can't attack me and then go pee What's up, you know why I'm good. We started I'm like I was playing it when he comes out because I'm not doing it twice because everybody knows I can't do things twice I have what do you mean God be one of those? Somebody the hair Jesus

My god, I took a train from Baltimore had it. It's so funny. I've been following your, I follow you and Andrew now on Instagram. I can't fucking stop. I'm addicted. I'm excited to you guys yelling at each other. He, the cheese it thing we, the cheeses are for men. Yeah. I pull down cheeses today on the train. He lost his shit. It was awful. It made me so he because I think he's right. No, shut up. That's because you're a man. I think I know what to see a girl go. Nobody wants to see that. I just show that part. I go to the bathroom like a person. I was laughing and then you're you're bumming your head. He's why did the bun bug?

I don't know. I think that's why we broke up too. He said I used to put my hair in a knot and I would watch. Wait a minute. I didn't even know you guys dated. Oh, that's my second X fiance. You were in a lot of mistakes. Wait a minute.

Yeah. You were engaged to Andrew. Yeah. Really? I didn't fucking know that Alan. Thanks for paying attention. I thought my love life was so stupid. No, we're here. It's just silly, but people are like, you guys still tour or you guys still smashing? Like, that's

all people think of. Oh, man, it was fucking how that goes out. Yes. I like to talk about action. First of all, I let I'm gonna let my, what's your house? How old are you now? That's a fucking personal, how old are you? I'm 42. I'm 48. Okay, yeah.

I'm having this thing, and I don't mean to hijack the conversation that you asked. I did. I was actually going to genuinely ask. She asked. It was me, but whatever. We all look alike. I'm glad you just credit for Eleanor. Thank you. You said, go ahead. It was a, but whatever. We all look alike. I'm glad you just credit for Eleanor. Thank you.

You said go ahead as you get into going. It's a very show business right now. You guys are both lying. I don't lie. I knew things happen the last couple of years where like I used to pee and then when I was done peeing, I knew. Yeah. You know, like it was that I was done peeing.

Yeah. Now I pee. Yeah. And I kind of keep peeing for quite some time. Yeah. I wish I were recording it. Yeah. I'll tell you what it is.

It's your prostate. Okay. Do you stick your fingers in your bum when you come? I hope so. No. Every other time. No. I've never done that.

Have you ever done anything to your bum hole? No. You don't have any. So you got to go to your prostate, check that out. What do you mean by anything? Anything? Anything? No, you don't have any. All right, so you gotta go to your prostate, check that out. What do you mean by anything? Anything? Anything? So broad.

Yeah, yeah, broad. You can put a broad finger in her head. That's basically what I'm talking about. You get these fucking broads of legs sticking fingers in your asshole. Make sure, make sure she's an institution now. So if I can, it was a small, you don't know how waitress from the Bronx lose a diamond in your asshole. Listen to me. Yes. Dude, I'm telling you was a small you don't know waitress from the Bronx lose a diamond in your ass all listen to me Dude I'm telling you what happens is your prostate. It might be a little fucked up You might have to squeeze your asshole and prostate

No, seriously, I'm not kidding about the prostate can I do this or is this not frowned upon because you don't want to fuck up You know, no, not at all. I just my ears get hot. Make sure I put my mouth up to it. Yeah, okay. Let's just talk over each other because that's what they're for. Okay. Anyways, you, you prostate as you get older, gets a little fucked up. So you pee longer in the morning.

It takes forever for me to pee. It's awful. And now when I pee, I have to like lean over the toilet because I take them, I'm done, but I'm not in the little dribbles on the floor. And I'm like, I got to go. I just don't know. I like to anticipate it,

but this is new. This is like only the last thing I gotta get you. A couple of years, it's kind of annoying. You gotta lay it to, yeah, if you're in a hurry, yeah, you can't put you in the pee like I'm actually like men in the hand That's why old people are never in the air. Put us on the Man, they're never in a hurry

Wow, okay, you got everything just a male thing. Do you get I think so yeah? Yeah, we're just comes out we have to wear the pants like a horse Just yeah, there's no there's no there's no matter can fall out. They can't fun time for women. Our p-holes this big they just have a thing that just called a gap. Yeah, I hope it might. Do you know it was until high school that I realized that a p-hole was separate from the vagina? I don't know high school. High school. High school. It's like me way longer.

I learned fucking like I think five years ago. Yeah, I'm not really getting it. I always thought that it was just came out of the vagina. I just thought it came out of the fucking because some girls it sounds like that big. Yeah, just like a faucet. Sounds. Yeah, my grandmother sounded like somebody turned the backyard hose on. It smelled like somebody eating breakfast like cereal. No, it's grandma that did sound like

sorry, the reason why I start early is because we get all the commits and out of the way, what happened. And these guys talk a little bit, she was at my party, he was at my party, he was at my party. I had a big barbecue this weekend, thanks. You know, a cool bump. Bob, yeah. I told you about it.

Appreciate it. No, you didn't. Are you nuts? You did not tell me about it. Buddy, it's fine. I heard you went camping too. That's cool. Buddy, first of all, first of all, all right, let's get this out.

Let's do this. So you and the woods in a tent will never happen. I talked about it with you and your beautiful fiancee. Yes. And your first. First of all, there's no hiking snickers than Nike pegs. I'm gonna first try to have one. You can give me a chance, though.

Let me opt out. No, I don't do that anymore. I used to do that a long time ago. It's all as you want is the invite. You want the invite. I want to give you the invite. Could have gone. I would have went.

You would have, I said I would have shrifted. Look at me, you would have been in a tent. I would have gone. I would have went. You would have, I say that was a shrapnel. Look at me. You would have been in a tent. I would have never. I would have gave a college trial. I would have tried.

Was there an indoor option? No, there was, but he's not, it was worse if he asked me. You were, you pitched a tent and slept in it. Yeah, I slept in a hammock actually. That's nice. Is this separate from the poor

you had at your house? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, well, what was that invite? The boy, my don't go backwards. Let's stay in the woods for a little bit. Let's burn some fucking geeky tortures. Can you guys all come out? Can everybody hear camps?

No, no, he went, she, sorry. Hello. Hey, you guys, I'm Chisholos. Hi. Hi. She went and sent, right. Yeah. She was. She went. She went. She went. We all went in the woods. It was 11 of us comedy camp. Next year, it's a new thing. I started it. We all go in the woods. You had pitch attend. I got one cabin, but Mike was sleeping in it, so you weren't sleeping.

Oh, can I please play them the fucking clip of you snoring? Yeah. Oh, God. This is the fucking nightmare. You don't have to put them on. I'll tell you when we got them. Yeah, dude, we go camping, you just know it. This is what you would have done.

I know, I would have, if I was free, I would have went. Okay, here you go. So I don't, don't tell him to move in the guitar. Listen to me, he would have done I would have I would have sure if I was free I would have went okay Hey, so I don't you don't come to me look at our Listen to me you would have shot he would have showed up, but I fuck the rolls Royce Jelkers on the side he would have borrowed some Like Fulls the Royce with a ride girl drogas rap on it I had my horn talented the deliverance.

Yes. Okay, good. You nailed it. I'm telling you right now, you just know where you were staying in the woods. That's exactly what you were doing. The washing machine on truck. I swear to God, here we go.

Are we ready for this? This is what, this one. I swear to God, here we go. Here we go. Are we ready for this? This is what, this is what, now mind you, that Dan soda, because I knew Dan and Jay weren't going to stay in the tent and Christine. So I said, listen, I have a cabin. We rented one cabin. I want them switching out and getting like a eight person cabin with a kitchen and a TV and all that stuff, which I didn't want to get.

I wanted it to be Woods, but whatever. Mikey didn't have a tent. Okay, so he went into the cabin all night, Dan's like, oh, you guys are in the woods. We're gonna be inside and you're your fucking cold floor. But I fucking stuck a bomb in there with him. They didn't know I stuck a bomb. I fucking knew. I put a little Mikey above Dan in the common area.

So it'd be gonna better than that. Took a better one. Oh put little Mikey above Dan in the commentary. This would be a better one than that took the better one. Oh yeah, here you are ready. This is what fucking Dan had to deal with all my... Hey. You hear it? Chop and firewood. Dan. I'm here. Just slow down. That's it. You hear it? Chop and firewood. Then...

Just slow down. That's it. I'm sorry. Were you hovering above him to do what? I'm sorry. This is one floor down. This is the next day. This is at 10.30 in the morning.

The next day. I recorded this I would make it a point I'm gonna put back this kid's dying every fucking eight minutes. It's a silent killer song. It's probably a sleep app here maybe too. Oh, and it listened to me. It goes all the way to. Yeah, and wakes up.

He did, you know, he's the nicest guy in the world. He let it go down. He tried to deal with it and turn it off. And then he goes out, well, you shut that off. You fucking let it go. I shut it off. But you got a plane. I think I'm losing my mind here a little kid in my voice.

I'm gonna go home with my son. My son is sending telepathic messages to me. Daddy come home. Mommy's hitting me. You fucking lunatic. Shut it off. Who's Michael's there? She gets it. I do. I'm paranoid. I fucking skits a frenic psychopath. I have two gears. First and sixth.

I'm in first right now. Listen. So, dude, I'm telling you, Dan's sort of snaps. What do you say to him? He flipped out of the bed at 6 a.m. and saying, you have to wait, be awake for three hours so I can sleep. Because it's my fucking turn. He's just my fucking turn to sleep, Mike. You have to, I least think for four hours, you have to let me sleep for two hours. Stay up. And he yelled at him. Little Mike was like, okay, okay, because he doesn't know he's snoring. No, I'm. Little Michael's like, okay, okay, because he doesn't know he's snoring.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,, you would have been a fucking, uh, you know, what is the comment? What do you do? A mid-century camper that you refurbished. What are you doing? What are you doing?

What is this comedy? We suck each other off, man. Oh, thank God. We did. We're men. I know with some kind of... Yeah, you want to make sure it's stories. Yeah, we all went and we lit a campfire and we sucked each other.

We threw the gizz in the fire and we fucking cut our hands. Yeah. And you didn't call me. That's so hot. We cut our hands. Right. Alright, let's go through. Who do we got on the show tonight? Sarah, come to the Brothers.

Gabby, who do we get on the show? We have Eleanor Caragane. That's me. I'm excited. I'm with Sarah Volcano. Yeah, she's so hot. I'm excited. We're going to be together.

Yeah, it's very exciting. I'm very excited. I was so looking forward to the show tonight. I really am, because I haven't had you on. I've always loved you. Thanks, me too, Sal. I, I, I, I, I've, from the second I met you, I've loved you. I love you. One of the great, I mean, literally.

One of the greatest things I've ever seen. It kind of takes away from mine. Yeah, I mean, no, you should definitely know that I like Sal better than you. I mean, the charisma and Sal, I, good guy better than you. I mean, the charisma and sell better. Are you good guy? Thank you.

I don't know what you got, but I want it. That's how you roll. Well, I don't have an invite to your barbecue or something. That's for sure. Listen about that. Buh-buh. Well, did I invite you? No.

You couldn't count. Actually, you did. Did I? We were in Baltimore, remember. Oh, why would you have fun? No You couldn't actually you did did I we were involved tomorrow member You got no Right here for a second I trash Boston we would have never Fucking right over the bus

Peter Panbus not even the great God damn it look how good you're on fire tonight. He cut out a bus He's good if Mike was doing that we get that 10 minutes later He emailed to me. What do you think of this? Use this to ask me for me. What do you think of this? How? Use this. That's the basket for opinions, fuckface. Have some spine. Um. Salih, all of a sudden, I was trying to explain to my wife about you.

I was like, you don't understand, because you never met my wife yet. And you'll love my wife. So I was trying to explain to you, I got this something, he's just the nicest guy in the world. He's just the sweetest. And if you all say he's nice too, which never happens. Yeah, she's terrific. She's an amazing dancer. And then we got Eleanor, who also an amazing dancer. Well, I met her on your cruise. I do this thing where I think everyone knows each other especially you know people that you know

I've been around each other circles with so long. I had no idea to know each other. We met briefly in Vegas with Norton and Actized your show. Yes. Yeah, I'm real good. Yeah, and you were a little fucking yeah, that's why I am yeah a little bit Hey, you know, that was years ago. No, it was yeah I was four years ago, three years ago, had to be a long time ago. Maybe before that, because we were at the Riviera. It's the rivers. We guys dating at that time.

No, it was after that. Yeah, that's got the rivers literally. The building is gone. That's how the whole building is gone. Wow. That's a lot of people in this building. Buildings don't fucking. They're not there anymore I remember showroom. It was great showroom. I didn't want to go to that show Why I because I was so nervous. I just booked a pilot for FX called Fuck the Bronx warrants. Well me God free and two actors were the leads of the show And it was a fucking great show. It was like these

warrant division police up on the Bronx. They're almost like dog the bounty hunter. So cops will go and collect warrants bonus money. So they can, you know what I mean? So we were this warrant division. And I was kind of like the head of it. And Godfrey was the cool looking Spanish guy and a Spanish girl. It was awesome. Fucking great. Shultz was in it. He was naked. He had to chase him down the street naked. Andrew? Andrew.

He was fucking butt naked with it. He had a little thing on his dick, massive dick. So happy to get it, huh? No, you did got it in the book, that part. I would have had a prosthetic, right? I remember, yeah, that's it right there. Look at us. Great.

Yeah, see the guy to the left? That's actually one of the actual Bronx one. That's the guy who wrote it, Dave. Look at that. Right. Yeah. See the guy to the left. That's actually one of the actual Bronx one. That's the guy who wrote it. Dave. Okay. So you you can act like you you would be able to uphold that role in that. In that big of a role. Let me tell you something. I see you do some stuff, but I just just that that would be intimidating. No, no, no, no. I know. I said, you know what I love though? You did one thing that sticks out on Colin's web show when you played that. It's just missing. Yeah, it's so fun.

Just a ping, bring that up. This is the worst. Can I just tell you, Derek? This is what plays a gypsy woman. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no a button drug deal. There I am. God damn it. Oh my God. Fuck. A pause before you play it, I want to just say one thing. And I figured out.

I actually do when I saw this. I figured out the whole series. He wrote these roles for us because this is who he thinks we are. No, no. Norton was a rat. Oh my God. Keith was a dummy, just a dumb cop, and I was this. This is who Colin thinks I am, God play it.

It's really funny though. Oh, sister, Pinnick, we finally meet. How are you? I think for me, and you are the one who can't just meet. As we say in the memo, the sunshine is the same. We finally meet. How I was. What's going on with you? For me, and you are the one who can't just be, as we say in Thurman, the sun shines on forces ass on the mountain pass.

Well, as we say in New York, you should have been important in the air when you just snowed. Pause it right there. I just wanna know the fucking hot, trotious acting job. Everybody wanted like Keith Robertson has and made it in his business.

Please just watch the first minute of this fucking clip. I'm going to live in just like a fucking Tibetan woman pulling the shit off. This asshole playing himself in a suit. Hey, you think that man. I was screaming at him. Between tanks because he kept forgetting his lines. I'm like it's three lines. You think that when I was screaming at him between things because he kept forgetting his lines.

I'm like it's three lines. You're a fucking ruining balance chances. I'll let you. Please, please, go back to the snow leopards. The sun shines on the horses' ass on the mountain pass. Well, as we say in New York, you shouldn't have been an important hair one. Stop, business stop, stop. This is why he York, you shouldn't have been important here. Stop, business, stop, stop.

This is why he takes, he doesn't understand breathing. He's literally reading the lines. He's going, you don't understand that you, um, breathing a fucking juke. Look at him. He's a fucking juke. Just got a little, you would have been great with talking, like before talkies, like silent movies.

Good. What? Because exotic snow leopards are legal to kill, sister. Pain. And you say exotic snow leopards? Are there run-of-the-meals snow leopards? Yeah. I got him.

Sister. Pain. Stop. I'm trying to say, you're dumb. I meant every word of that. You're the thing, it's annoying. Let's go! What do I think? Instead of court, immediately. You discussed me as a nation and as a woman.

And, cut. We're getting there. Let's, I say, let's go right into another one. It's really good work, guys. We'll let you go. Thanks, you all. Can I stick to Bobby Herman? Of course. I'm going to get you a say let's go right into another one and less.

Really good work guys. We'll let you guys. Thanks, you all off. Can I speak to Bobby Herman? Of course. Who knows? To talk to Bobby. Great.

We need to take a break. Is there a... Is there a... A property? A property? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

You see I'm going to come to you. Yeah. I'm on... I'm on God. I'm on God. I'm sorry, but you say it. Yeah, I'm on God. I'm on God. You're not connecting to the character, so that's making me uncomfortable. I'm not connecting to a Burmese to batten female drug smugglers. What are you afraid of?

I'm afraid that anybody that I've ever met will mean that you see you scared that if you explore you'll find that find no she doesn't exist she doesn't exist, you crazy throw all. Okay. I got it, I got it. Yeah, come on, that was fucking great. Let's say, cop show. I can't believe someone didn't pick this out.

It's fucking is my numbing to me. It was really funny. That someone didn't pick up cop show. I mean, low budget, fucking fucking hilarious and you fucking look at me I get it they gave it away for free on fucking YouTube and these clock suckers. What I mean listen? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm you know what? I'm trying to learn to get a fourth gear Breathe. You gotta breathe. What's that word you gotta say? I'm sorry. I don't know if I me, get angry. I don't need it.

I don't need it. I have, it's all. I have no, I have no. I can't see that. I can't see that. Anyhow, listen, I would have loved to invite anyone of you guys over to my, I just, this is what happens. I forget.

I literally forget. I'm just bossing. And then it rained, It was supposed to rain. So I had to unenvite some people. I was telling them that I had to unenvite some people because if we all go into my house, I can't have, you know, you know, you know, who makes the rain cut. I can't. Wow. I don't know. I mean, we've got people who didn't make them go into house. Was Keith on the rain cut? No, Keith had a stroke. I needed a side. Yeah.

You know, in my opinion, you've seen the news. I'm looking at the blackout with the stroke out of my party. Yeah, just keep a bunch of white guys and fucking beat it. He got on the pirate ship. Yeah, go on the big. Um, yeah, so no, I, I, I won you, you know, if we have it, I'll go inside. It's yeah. And now we have more kids.

You have kids? No, my nuts. All right. What the fuck? You're going to have kids. I am. I would like to have children. You're going to have kids.

You'll be a good dad. Thanks. She's going to be a good, like dad. What about you? You just got to know. Nice. No kids. Thank God.

I know. I would like to. You should have kids. You'd be a great dad. I think it would be a great dad. Yeah. I learned from the best. I would like to. You should have. Can you be a great dad? I think it would be a great dad. Yeah. I learned from the best.

Why do you say no then? Because I don't. You don't want to. No, I'm sorry. You said you didn't want. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that helps. It helps. That part helps.

I could adopt one as a single man, I think. Don't do that. Please don't do that. Nobody needs, nobody needs. I kind of like the idea of you just adopting by yourself. It would be my little buddy. That's a crap. That's not a shit set.

I could spit around the spots. That's not creepy at all. I could have him hold my camera for a while. Exactly. A job like a 17 year old. Just seeing me yelling at a child, hold it steady. I told you the stories have to be valuable. Yeah, I mean just bullshit. I don't want it on my story. It'll be my little intern.

I should just get an intern. My little town that says this and it's fun. I have an I like owning. I have sorry. I have an option for you. So I an alternative. I'm an alternative for you. Yeah. I will let you adopt Mike. What the fucking sleep apnea over here. What's that? You want to want a perfect kid? Not really perfect. Between him and me, the sound's coming out from our part. What do you guys say? You synchronize. You're fine. We give each other like awake apnea. I can't believe you have a fucking maid for one better. It's not a maid. It's a girl I have come maybe once every two months. Cleaning service adoptors should marry. All men should have that.

You're right. Men are disgusting. The greatest 60 bucks. Yeah. Once every two months is so worth it. It wants every two months. Yeah, I just call what I feel like it's dirty. It's honestly it's for the bathroom.

Like, so you don't have to clean it. Yeah, it's exactly. Well, you don't clean your bathroom. Most guys don't. Are you a clean man? I got married. I got a have to clean it. Yes, exactly. Well, you don't clean your bathroom Most guys don't are you a cleaner? I got married I got a wife to do that. I don't fucking do that. I Captain caveman Game make you mad. We fucking mad the fifties So it's a good time No, my wife cleans the toilet. We have a maid come every two weeks. Yeah, a little cleaning crew come in

They're actually do the whole neighborhood. So we're like, yeah, fuck it come in. She does Dolores's next door She's great. She's awesome, but my wife cleans the house before they come. I'd annoys me I do too. I always clean for the man. I do I can't hotels For my clean up. I don't Yeah, normally I don't ever unlock the door. I just put private from the whole stay. But if I need them to come in or when I'm leaving, I clean the whole place. Same.

I just don't want them to judge me. Every time. I just don't want them to judge me. I'm so close. Why do we do that? It's like, I'm going. Something wrong with you. I'm a clean person.

It stays clean anyway. But like I make sure I throw the garbage in the garbage. I make the bed again. All the towels are put in a pile. Like everything I could do to make that strutting. What do you do? I know why you put the towels in a pile, by the way. You want to add the jizz ones on the bottom? That's what you do that. I do it too. You have jizz ones? Yes. From what? My are jizz.

I'm just saying, like I put a bit of pile. Please don't tell me. I'm just saying, I thought I'm in a big pile. Please don't tell me, now I should have, I'm naive, but you don't do that into the towels. In hotels, I never do that. Listen to me. Oh God, I should know. What are you doing here? No, but not into the towel.

What are you doing into? You know, you know, all fixes, no, I just don't do it in to ever and ever in my life into a towel. Wait a minute. Let me ask you a question, sir. I swear to God in my life. I've never done this. They do. Wherever it goes. Sweet of God. So look at me. Just look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Where did you get on that? Look at me. I'm scared. Shut up, everybody. Where the fuck do you, Jiz, if not at all? I think I know.

I think I know. You know, like curtains, or just fucking say it. So I don't really talk about this stuff, because I feel like family and stuff, like I had to listen to this. Nobody is twisted. But like if I do an adult activity and that happens, then I just,

I'm a camper, you get even jerk off of me. I just like, like, you know, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, a disposable thing. What the, what is that? What is that? What is that?

Like, you know, like, like, you know, like, not, not a town. Where were you shut up? I don't use shut up. Everybody shut up. Sal. I don't use jerk off. I don't use linens.

It's full jerking off. No, no, no, that's not true. Listen to me. He's right. It's for to outling down when you clean aftering you. I'm not fooling you. I'm not fooling you. I'm not fooling you. I'm not fooling you. I'm not fooling you. I'm not fooling you.

I'm not fooling you. I'm not fooling you. I'm not fooling you. I'm not fooling you. I'm not fooling you. I'm not fooling you. I'm not fooling you. I'm not fooling you.

I'm not fooling you. I'm not fooling you. I'm not fooling you. I'm not fooling you. I'm not fooling you. I'm not fooling you. I'm not fooling you. I'm not fooling you. I'm not fooling you. I'm not fooling you. I'm not fooling you. I'm not fooling you. talls for towering down the middle towel I believe says Gis on it. That's what you're

doing. Explain to me what the middle towel is. You tell me what the middle towel is for. It's either for the floor or like a face and hand towel. Stop stop stop. It's a face and hand towel. There's not. When you're washing up. No, it's not. We have a face by humans. That's absolutely. The face towel is the square one. Oh my God. So this will be becoming and touch your towel. No, I say, look, I'm not a savage. I wrap it in other towels. So they don't have to touch it. So when they come in, it's just have a ball of time. I can't do way more work than I am by just using disposable things.

Now, the system we are wrapping gizz and all the towels, look, I jerk off and I put the towel there and then at jerk off again, put the towel there. And then I just have a dedicated towel that's dancing. Two little middle ones. And that's what you're going to hear. You're going to hear it out for a week. You just keep using the same shit.

No, I, I, I, I have them come in and get new towels and I'll bring them all the towels out. They wash them and bring them to your room so you can wipe your face. Sure. You can't think about anything about it. Listen, listen, Andy. Yeah. I'll give you a solve your problem Drain the toilet. I am right the toilet. I'm gonna throw up You make fucking a drop soup

And then a few tissues also we'll write the toilet Smiles I can't Places I don't there's things I don't like to think like think about now. I'm always gonna look at you and picture you Do the shower don't you know never all right. I could just see you running to the I don't know That is a start That's super depressing. No, it's not yet because Exactly Super super depressing. No, it's not yet because exactly like you're there. Don't talk over each other. I think I think I think you always just have to end up there

Sometimes though you just want to not think about it. You want to become a start? You start in the toilet. I can stand it, but you can master the just the bed anywhere and then use the towel I don't Yeah I don't. I'm at first parties. But yeah, we're at first parties. We're at first parties. We're at first parties. We're at first parties. Do you have your own favorite? Do you have your own favorite? Do you have your own favorite?

Do you have your own favorite? Do you have your own favorite? Do you have your own favorite? Do you have your own favorite? Do you have your own favorite? Do you have your own favorite? Do you have your own favorite? Do you have your own favorite?

Do you have your own favorite? Do you have your own favorite? Do you have your own favorite? Do you have your own favorite? Do you have your own favorite? Do you have your own favorite? Do you have your own favorite? Do you have your own favorite? Do you have your own favorite? Do you have your own favorite? Do you have your own favorite? Do you have your own favorite? That's the whole room. Where do you do it in the windowsill? Oh, that's the room, Sal. Why am I being real about Sal?

I'm the whole one. You guys are just throwing juice everywhere. Like it's the fucking wall wall. I'm not. I'm at a very close-by. You're murdering your killing, you're just drowning, baby. What's the matter? I'm not going to be able to retweet this.

Oh, come on. Oh, cousin. I just can't. I just can't. All right, let's move on. No, no, you could say whatever you want. Let's go talk to a copally. I just can't retweet it.

No, I don't want anyone in my feminine. Listen, then I'm talking about 20 minutes out of where it is. You're going to hear a fucking fine young man. I was saying I would three douchebags. And then I'd be like, we did good for Sal. He does a good stuff into linens. I don't know who a linens by the way. You call him.

Howls. I just don't know. I thought Bitches were just linens. I didn't think Howls were linens. I kind of used a little bit of autistic license on that. Yeah, I think he's right. I think he's not a linem. But I think I like it.

I'm going to call him linens now. I think I'm going to, I think I might not a little bit. But I think I like it. I'm gonna call him Linnon's now. I think I'm gonna, I think I might not do it anymore. So maybe you converted me. Do you feel guilty? Doing what? Reaching into the, into the, the wild. Yeah.

Can I tell you lately now that I have a child and a wife, I do feel, I feel like it's so, it's so limited this sex I have now that when I do release, is that what I'll say? Yeah, I feel like you wrote those good years. For a range of life. That sounds like a euphemism. When I retweet myself. No, I feel like we're doing a regular radio right now. We have to respond to the news.

It's very smart. It's not the case they do. I'm saying that word, I'm sorry, but I cannot reach out. No, this is like, I did this. It's cakes the whole time. And I'm just like, this is terrific. I love you fellas. I cannot retweet any of this.

Yeah, well, listen, this is fucking stacks. I'm sorry if somebody was bleeding and that's how I passed. Not from a shin or an elbow. Yeah, I feel a little, I feel a little like, ah, I should probably be saving this. Oh, you feel guilty just because you think you're misusing it. You're misallocating it. Well, now it's like after I do it, it literally wipes me out.

I'm just done and I'm always lying there. I'm like, what are we going to do now? Go to the gym? No. No. So if I don't do it, I feel better than I do do it. And I used to do it in the shower. I don't do it there anymore because I just I have a kid. It's all different now. And I have this little guy running around. I go in the shower and I take a shower and I get the fuck out The shower is my joint baby I used to put that bench into put my leg up. Oh, that's nice. Really? Oh, no Nothing could happen for me in the shower. Yeah, let me let me do this too much like I don't know this

I nothing happens. You have to get the wand to do it like put a leg up in front behind Take a look at never even crossed my mind It nothing happens. You have to get the wand to do it, like put a leg up in front behind if you have someone take a little. Never even crossed my mind. This is where the crisis is. So, are you parents like, well, I'm not saying I don't, I'm, wait, okay, don't make me have to be some prude

because I didn't throw my leg behind my head and fucking blast the wand at my own hands. I'm gonna be like, you, what are your parents, religious, so you try, first of all, first of all, I'm sorry, I'm not making my cinematics porn with myself. First of all, what are your parents, religious? So you try. First of all, I'm sorry, I'm not making my cinema

ex-born with myself. First of all, what is your second of all? I actually, I actually admire, I was just talking to my therapist about this. I was, I'm so excited that my kid is gonna have a shot at being normal sexually and evolving into sex in the proper age bracket because I was I was shown porn in the first grade. Maybe kindergarten.

And you don't think that's terrible. No, I get that. I'm seeing. I'm on the same watch saw at the same time. Yeah. Well, when we grew up, it was just different in the 80s and 70s and 80s, it was just different. I remember my first titty, I was talking about this. I sucked a titty in the first grade.

She played with my ding-ding and a rhubarb-bush, her and a friend. And I was like, what? What's a rhubarb? What's a rhubarb? It's a rhubarb, you know, little fucking rhubarb. Like a rhubarb-buck, like a pie? He's gonna bring it up. Don't want a rhubarb-pie.

Yeah, he made rhubarb-pubb-pubb-buck. Don't want a rhubarb pie? Yeah, he made rhubarb pie. I just had one for the first time. I'm like, the week you had. No, I wasn't. It was just fantastic. I still have it in my fridge, but it's a little too late now. I don't want to get as something big.

It's been like about 10 days. Anyways, back to me getting jerked off in the first room. Oh, sorry. Did you make a pie? Yeah. So this is actually the lady of jerkwear. What's up? This is actually the lady in jerk. This is a robot bush.

Yeah, it was a little different. I don't know, maybe it wasn't a robot. Maybe it was still a little different. It looked like that. It's like that, right there. See, they grow, I can't believe, I'm telling a story about being probably molested when I was a kid. She's like, what kind of bush was it?

I'm a fucking gardener. Yeah. I think I want a kid. She's like, what kind of bush? What the fuck in gardener? Yeah. I think I want a lot of Mexican. I think. Curious what kind of bush. I think I can get one. I will say if there was any fruit, but vegetable that wasn't treating enough to sidetracked us,

it was a robot. So what a kind of story if it was like. So what kind of story was that? It was like, each. Yeah. Rubob is a very learning word. I really didn't fuck everybody up with that. Yeah, so I was talking about, I was like, I'm so glad that I had so many sexual issues growing up.

And I didn't know what the fuck I was for so long. And all this sex shit was, I mean, first grade, all this stuff that I felt terrible about because, you know, Catholic, you know, you, you, you, if you do this, you're bad, you're bad. So I thought I was terrible. I was going to hell and I was fucked up and you just kind of throw your hands up in your ear at 11, like, fucking. And then once you do something, you kind of keep doing it when I was hanging fuck and I'm so happy that my kid is never gonna see a porn o' mag in the house. He's never gonna see porn on a computer. He's not gonna know about sex from us or in this house until he's put and if he does he can talk to me

about it. We can have a full-fledged conversation about sex and he can come to me about anything, about sex. I need to, I remember when that happened, I told the story before I cried. I was crying myself to sleep that night because I thought I was going to hell. I thought God, because I was so loud. I was Catholic.

I'm going to hell. I'm in my room crying first grade and my mother came up, what's wrong? Imagine walking in to your six-year-old and he's crying hysterically and you go, what's wrong? Imagine walking in to your six-year-old, and he's crying hysterically, and you go, what's wrong, and there's nothing. And it was because I was fucking, you know, I did this, I had someone touch my penis,

and someone made me grab their boobs, and my other friends were like, yeah, do a tommem, and I was, and it was like, I felt so sad, and I was crying, I was like, nothing, I couldn't tell her, because if I told her, I'. I was, and it was like, I felt so sad and I was crying. I was like, nothing, I couldn't tell her. Cause if I told her, I'm fucked, she would've hit me a, she wouldn't have, but it's crazy. So now when you have a key, say, I'm sorry,

give you a hot time at the towels. Yeah. Now we get it, now we understand. In hindsight. I thought they were linens. Yeah. You call towels, like, call what you call. We just want you to feel comfortable, Bobby.

We do make jokes. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I know you think your kids' friends will show like that. They're porn is so accessible now. Too accessible. I think it's too accessible, but I think it's beyond the, I think here's what happened. Bad things. You had to write magazines.

We had magazines stuff like that under beds and shit like that. It wasn't as accessible. So it was more taboo. So to have it, it was like, now it's just, no, and parents are so fucking on their kids now. You know everything. You know what they're looking at. You know they can't watch their iPad without you looking every five seconds. Well, you know, it's a little different now. I think maybe when computer and shit first came out, parents didn't know what to do. But now you lock those websites. You can only go to this, you do that.

You can't turn the computer on unless you ask invisible about what you're looking at. And if he goes over somebody's house and he's watching porn, I might not let him go back over there again. And you can tell who the shit kids are. Let me tell you. We had a big party yesterday with a bunch of kids.

You can tell it. You can tell it right away tell it was a point. You could ride off. You could tell right away. Oh my God. It's a shame. Yeah. It's real, I can't. It's real.

What are some of the treats exhibited by the shakkins? I don't know. Not hanging out with other kids. Anti-social. Anti-social, not blinking. That's a big, something. Eating one with the same piece of candy over and over again. We made like going to the same candy just wobbling into the same animal

purple dumbdumps. Okay. Hitting the piñata too hard. Seventeen times. You know, this traits. with a novel. I'm just rushing away. Standing in the couch. Oh, Jesus. What is that? She just doesn't blink when she talks. She's a wild.

Oh, wow. That was a good documentary. What was it? She's a blood sample. Yeah, the blood sample lady. She's got to force herself to blink. Is that what it is? I think she just lies so much. She's like, he keeps some wide open so she don't miss any.

Yeah, people. You got caught lying about coming up with some kind of easier way to diagnose your body. I just look at what's up. I do it joking. No, she didn't see her. I forgot her name.

Elizabeth Holmes. Yeah, people do this. Like this. Who forced their eyes open? Hi, how are you? Yeah, she should see you. Oh, it's so nice to yeah. Oh really? And that is scared that she's gonna get out of me and she would speak for hours Yeah, and just sell her product and her eyes were like I'm like, did they get dry? We get air in there like you gotta go like that. Not crazy fucking people, crazy people about playing.

Yeah. What's up with fucking dice tweeted my face today. Okay, first of all, what was that? It'd be my favorite thing that happened. It was the funniest thing ever. He kept saying we're going to this place, that place, and I said, no, no, I told you, I'm doing Bobby's podcast. I can't go.

So he's like, why, you're gonna hang with him over me? I'm like, we have been on the road for a month. Let me go with somebody else for a second. So I, he goes, send me that picture of him. I said, why? And he goes, just send it to me. So I send it. And he goes, I'm gonna write stories about how we used

the party back in the day. And I was like, you did? So he put this picture up and he put this thing and how they used to party back in the day. And I was like, you did? So he put this picture up and he put this thing how they used to bang girls together and all this, looking for big tips. I actually feel excited to me. I mean, I was in the therapy. I was sitting there going to text him

on the screen. And then it comes up with a terrible sign. The only time I did Comic Con, you guys were there, by the way, lying down the street, really annoying. I was in a hall H literally at a storefront with this fucking hat. Fucking, I'm a howie's chubby butt skinny at the same time. How they pull that off, fucking, oh my god. It's not magic.

Let's just throw it out there. You're fucking magic. He's the hero. Fucking gorgeous thing. But the little chubby, but it's, you know, it's nowhere. You can't find it. Find it. I don't like that your body shaming people. Come on. Iubby, but it's, you know, it's nowhere. You can't find it. Find it. I don't like that your body shaming people.

Come on. I'm actually not, I'm shaming, I'm falling. Okay. I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna make it back. If you listen, it's a compliment. I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I know, the whole age you got way high. The guy's like, down here, I'm going, I just ate, I think I just ate potato skins. It was 900 degrees out. The salt was coming out of my ear loves.

And I'm like this. Yeah, Comic Con, Robert Kelly. On the most, if I'm flattering photo ever, that's the one he puts up just me looking sideways. You know what's he's looking for it? But Andrew took it down. So you don't have to look for it. He took it down because people were writing RIP.

They thought you're tied. And I was like, Andrew, people were writing. Because they don't read. People don't read. They just saw the picture. I mean, look it down. Why would there it is? Wait, no, keep going down.

Look, I'll fucking show you. I look. I thought it was hilarious though. They called me to a way where you were dying. I was sad. We were on the train when he wrote that. He said something. My our ball slapping.

He said something. My ball slapping so hard against the push flaps. Too many people wrote ours. I had her believe that. Is that like purple? Why would it take so much of him and he would probably fall apart because he wouldn't know what that meant? That's it right there. That's it.

There it is right there. It's the worst photo I've ever taken in my life. Look at it. Look at it. It looks like it just ate pickles and sausages out in the sun. And I, and I washed them down with fucking tortilla chips. You can't hide on yourself, Tyris. I mean, hot on yourself.

Everybody always thinks that most critical about themselves. But he, she put that photo up. They thought I died. Not because of photo though. Yes, because of that. It was the photo. Because everything he wrote was like we had so much fun on the road The other thing

Maybe when somebody says compliment you like a Bobby's dead You're fat and you have shitty friends I was dying I was so happy with it. And then with those people, he took it down. He felt bad. He's like, oh, what if something happened? No, it would be great if I did die. And he killed me because he put it up three hours before my death. Somebody CSI didn't have time. Then doesn't match. Illinois, dice, your Bobby. How's it made? Yeah.

Yeah, there it is. College, fucking all done. Look at that fucking neck. He was very proud of himself to put that up. He was very happy with it. I'm gonna go and throw it in it for him. Actually, my therapist laughed at it. Yeah.

I'm gonna love my therapist. You took your phone out during the session? Well, yeah. Interesting. Yeah, I wrote, I wrote, I wrote, I wrote, I wrote, I wrote, I wrote, I wrote, I wrote, I put my coffee in front of his clock because he has a couple of clocks.

So I put my, I always get a coffee and put it in front of the clock because he always, his eyes always fucking wander over there. But I'm, you know, talking about my fucking childhood. I see him fucking nodding off looking at the clock. So now he, every time he looks, he looks at the, and my coffee's there, what I'm talking about my fucking child today, see him fucking nodding off looking at the clock. So now every time he looks, he looks at my coffee, he goes, he laughs, he's like, got that clock, Saka.

And then I keep my phone out, because I have my time. And then Ari, I was like, I got something's up, so I clicked it, and I will check it out. Are you gonna therapy? You dose? You know, marriage, badson guy or girl? Top man. I had gone to a guy in the past. I stopped for years.

I just started again like a month ago. Yeah. Yeah, I liked the woman so far. Really? Yeah, it's a woman. All right. Don't say it like that. Yes.

It's a woman. They let them out. What did you say? I did not say it like that. You did. You were, it's a woman. Ellen, we have issues. I did not say it like that.

I'm Ellen. I'll come over Anger So hard to say your name from the 50s. Yes, I know I feel like I'm insulting you Betsy That's better than Ellen You do? I like older fashion, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older,

older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, , older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older,

older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older, older name suck traditional names man. I'm gonna say right now. Eleanor, I couldn't imagine. I mean, if we're just, oh baby, Eleanor. Oh, Eleanor. Eleanor. Eleanor. It's extra, you know, I love it. I love it out there. I don't know if you're just, but no one really says names.

To what you though, what are you, what are you, a fucking angel? No, I say stop. I just, I just, I I just never say the name. That's like from the movies. No one does that. You make love on like a, like a cap skin, a white cap skin. No, but you say names. That's like, that's like, that's like,

literally my life's name, but I say other names. I'm not trying. I don't know if I get back time. I don't, it just sounds so cheesy. You're like, oh, god, the Janus. So whatever, like it is, like, Janus. Yeah, just the name names don't, answer cheesy like oh god Yeah, just name names don't you substitute names? What do you look for? What you say other stuff like what baby? You know

That's what you're ready to which is really fun. You know what? Who are you? I have a call my wife or she's a kid get off me I wasn't I Have a call my wife or she go kid get off me I Weren't we pissed I'm in love with her. No, she fucking You say don't every time I don't say don't say a name I don't say my dog I But I was saving you Just a shitty box of action Fucking love you

My favorite girls on Socks My boy exactly No, no. No, my point is you exactly. I'm not gonna say Eleanor. There's too many fucking syllables. All right. Eleanor, too many.

Say Ele. Ele would be good. Eleanor. Yeah, no more. Leave the Noor off. Yeah. Go by my middle name. What's your middle name?

Margaret. T. Double it down. Double it down. It's a double it down. It's a double it down. It's a double it down. It's a double it down. It's a double it down. Double. Just got a bummer. Little to my favorite names. I get to his linens away from me.

Oh my god. Two ghost names and a white-skinned cross. That's so funny. That's exactly it. Ooh. Ooh. Two spirits. Play with the shoters.

Play with the shoters! Play with the shoters! What? What? What? What? Go on the attic! Make some noise! What?

What? What is that? Just shut up. Oh, you got to shut up. Oh, you crotch-shargot. That was your bill. Oh Now we know I'm so thankful. No, Eleanor. Yeah, me and Mark are, we met on your cruise. That makes me happy. I'm talking instantly. Are you and your sister with that?

Oh, it makes me, I was like, I'll fucking hang with this girl. When I met the boat, you said that about me. I think the same about you, same about you. Yeah, we met through a dumb. Dumb, I ran. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My best friend and that we fight over. I'm a little bit of a guy. I'm a little bit of a guy. I'm a little bit of a guy. like outfucking hang with this girl. Same, when I met the bulldo you said that about me, I think the same about you, same about you. Yeah, we met through a dumb.

Dumb, I ran. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My best friend and that we fight over sound constantly. Love dumb. One of my favorite things on the planet. One of my top. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But because of wrestling, he's big wrestling.

Tell, tell, tell, tell, you tell, you tell. Oh, I'm so cute. Why used to wrestle? So I know that. Okay, you know that, right? I'd rather use the wrestling jeans. Easy rider, yeah? Yeah, I'm pretty much this.

Yeah, I just, you know, just took my jocks, strap off, but I'm here. But I worked for, I did a wow women of wrestling. Yeah. And there she is, easy rider. Look at her. Crazy, amazing. But I was showing Sal videos and I was telling them about my mom because, you know, And there she is, Easy Rider. Look at her. It was crazy. Amazing.

But I was showing Sal videos. I was telling them about my mom because, you know, I'm one of 10 and I have six brothers, three sisters. And my mom had four boys in a row and she had a little girl and she was so happy. I had a sweet little girl and I was more tomboy, more butch than any brother I have. Like, you know, people are,

for their toughest, Kerrygan brother is Eleanor. Everybody always says that. Like, it know, people are for their toughest careigan brother is Eleanor. Everybody always says that. Like, it's just awful. So then I moved to LA, I'm trying to become an actress and I take this wrestling job and I call my mother. And I'm like, don't get mad, I'm gonna be a wrestler. And she's like, oh my God, I'm so happy for you.

I'm like, really? She's like, oh my God, that's a great show. I'm like it is I just went to the audition what are you talking about and this is like 2000 1999 2000 right so I'm on a cell phone and I go mom I'm gonna call you when I get home from the landline I get home I call her my sister Karen answer she goes You're gonna be on West Wing? Ha ha ha ha last week. I'm so proud of you, Ellen. But you know, she was so mad that I'm flipping around. She's like, now you get a fight on TV. You animal. I got you out of this. You're wearing those jeans right now.

I think so. Oh my god. This was at the forum in England. Wow. Unbelievable. Joe Logan would come and support. He was one of my biggest fans. Dom used to come all the time. It was the best. Because I was waiting tables at the comedy store. God damn it. I remember I did a podcast with him and Judy Gold and just it just for laughs. And Dom came in first. Judy came a little later. And you know, Judy, I love Judy too. My favorite. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, She's just I was like What But Judy is so funny. She started laughing. Of course. She's her favorite word. She goes got it The don told me a story they were at JFL and she came down and he goes, oh here comes Judy She goes, oh, you can smell my cat or whatever like and how she's so aggressive and he goes no, I can hear it you can smell my cat or whatever, like, and how she's so aggressive and he goes, no, I can hear it.

He's so sick. Oh, shit. Now I met you, dude. You are the producer of the Nick the Pollo show. Yeah. But we met in Atlanta one time. It was a early laughing skull. Yeah, I don't know.

I'm just starting out. But that's when he first met you, very sweet. I remember all of them being Gary with air. Yeah, I don't know. I'm just starting now. But that's what he first been. You were very sweet. I'm not going to mean Gary with air. Yes, exactly. We were doing the, um, yeah, we were doing that little. Yeah, yeah. I was so funny because Gary's crystal clean. And that time I was fucking filthy, filthy. And, um, 2011, maybe. Yeah, he had a, he went up, he would go up and then I would go up. It was just, but it worked for some reason they were fine with it. Like his fans and my fans were like fine with it. I mean, his fans do a little of dice.

If, you know, if I had to go up first, it was a little worse for them because it was just slapping them in the face. Yeah, that was fun. I love that. I love that. The laughing skull. Yeah, yeah, yeah, between, yeah, working radio for serious XM

and then you guys started E.P. in the, the polish show. And you guys were great together because any, you guys have to master shoes this thing. working radio for Series XM and then yeah, I started E.P. in the to polish show and you guys were great together because you guys have to Massachusetts thing. Yeah. So and when fucking Massachusetts people get together, it's just old stories. Yeah. And those are my favorite. Yeah. And you got you know, I didn't you guys like really those turn into a rehab these time. I'm you fine. I didn't Apollo say, I'm, you find, I, I, I, I, like, I didn't to follow like Moe Lawns at like, for the reform school. Now he more over.

Yeah. I was in Juvenile Hall. I went in. You went in. The Juvenile, I was in a couple of times, but the Juvenile Hall that I went in, it was called the intake. So they take all the kids from court, all of them Massachusetts, they ship them up to Denver State hospitals, a mental institution. So up on the mental

institution, they donated this, it used to be a morgue, and then some office buildings off, they donated it to the juvenile juvenile Department of Massachusetts. So you'd all the little jubis would go up to this mental institution at the end of the day. And you'd you'd be they'd find a way they were shipping you. Because they only had, you know, they had certain, they had to figure out, you're going to go here, you're going to go there, you're going to go there. So you'd go in. And I remember we, we go in there, it's fucking scary as shit. It's like a fight. It's like a,

just a horror movie going up in the woods and this is big old Building and there's crazy people in it literally and then they take it to this backside with this house That's kind of fallen apart and they take you in this room. That was the first time I really Saw like Puerto Rican kids my first time in july because I grew up in Medford We had you know, we were very segregated to do is, you know, the Italians were, I grew up in Thailand. Yeah. And the black, I grew up with black people. I had black girlfriends and stuff like that. But I never saw Puerto Rican in my life until I went in. And I remember there was just a little room and there were

all these kids who just sitting there on this furniture, kind of on it, not sitting in it, just sitting on it. Angry. Yeah. Kind, kind of like, I'm a good looking man. Puerto Rican is such good looking people. This kid had curly fucking, just beautiful green lips. And he had a fucking, he had like this, this like, this, I don't know, it was like this half shirt, it was like a mesh, and it was just, he had this so hot. Right. Tell me more about the mesh.

I was like, wow, what is that exotic person? I was like 80s. I was a child. I know with the Italians, but no, that was like something else. I wanted to go, what are you? You know, and then I, yeah, I'm half-shared again. It just doesn't look right on that guy. I remember they came in and they come in.

They come in with a box of subs, just Italian subs with bags of chips. Yeah, a sub sandwich right? They come out with these, they were like this big and they wrapped in a plastic wrap and a chip and you got a chocolate milk. As soon as the box came in, all these kids run over and they grab, so I run over like I'm just trying to fit in, I grab a sub and a chip and a, they all sit down and I sit all of them at once.

It was almost in unison. They unwrapped the sub and on the top of the, the purple onions and they all scraped them off with their finger and just threw them on the ceiling. And then I looked up on the ceiling, it was just all fucking onions from like just years of onions being thrown on this fucking ceiling. So I just took my hands and it was slimy because they were yuck. They were there.

It must have been like day-old subs that this dally gave this place. And they threw them up there. I kind of threw it. You did it? Yeah, I remember. But I didn't do it good. So I threw it and one was hanging and then was looking at me, he bitch, and it fell on my shoe and I had to like shake it off.

This is insane what we remember. Like the moments that we choose to remember, like, if you go far enough back, you only have a certain amount of memories, really. Like before five years old, I don't know, maybe I have 10 memories. I don't know. But like, it's, I always wanted to why, what I remember, I thought it was 10 is why I, why did I But like, it's, I always wanted to why, what I remember, I thought it was 10 is why I, why did I remember that? You know what I mean? It's, well, I know why I remember that,

you know? No, no, certainly. Before I was in the get a sub, I was naked doing jump-and-jacks in front of a grown man, and seeing a fucking hash through it fell out of my asshole. What are you having? An amazing shot. I mean, it's hard to forget that. What was there any who were in there? I mean, it's hard to forget that. That was horrible. Was there any who were in there? What? The first time I got stripped, just the fucking, I'm fine,

I'm fine to cry now, I'm thinking about it. I was, I think I was 13. And the guy was like, I take you close off. I was like, huh? Huh? He was like, take you close up. And then bend over.

I go, what? I go, dude, I got nothing. I was trying to like, dude, I got nothing. I've been searched fucking three times. I got, what do you think I'm hiding stuff in my asshole? I'm 13. I'm not that desperate. I'm going to be out soon. You know what I mean? I didn't, you know, I ripped off a piece of store. That's the problem. They had to because yeah, they did do it. I was weird. I was weird seeing another guy's pecker, too. I remember we had a shower together.

And I was 13. So I didn't have full fuzz yet. And I remember these just 18-year-olds were just these fucking mandates. And I remember just saying, yeah, I'm trying to, trying to turn to that. It's not a nice piece but it just went back to nothing. You know, it didn't have its fucking hat on yet. Yeah. Yeah. I took it in the profile. Yeah. Yeah. That took you the profile. Yeah. It looks pretty much that. I'm really leaving here today with a good handful of imagery, that I'd rather not have.

Yeah. Well, it's now, you got to get a whole of it a little bit. I mean, I'm over it. I'm just making a con. I don't want you to have. I don't want you to have me make it. I got him over the toilet. I got just, just, just tons of unusable towels. I got you who now this thing, it's really, this really, it's 30 year old. I got to bring his own towels to the hotel next to him.

Tell me, stay safe. Don't think I haven't thought about it. I've been taking your own towels. I've got this in condos. I've got this in condos. If I go to comedy, I'll do that. I'll do it. So I'll go take Guns Day of Condos.

Okay. You're right, you're right, you're right. I apologize. Excuse me. Okay. You're right. You're right. I apologize. Excuse me. All right. Wow. I still do commentary for Wow, Webnive wrestling.

You should. I love fucking it. I love wrestling. I've been in the, someone tells I would go to the dollar store down the road and buy like a poncho and then just open it up or a garbage bag and open it up on the bed because I would not do my skin touch the bed because you have a pre that's a problem now. I think that would die is that probably had bugs and stuff and them and stuff like that.

But that's not normal right? You can check if it has bugs. I am like a Jeremy guy, but this is a case where you know, I don't think it's me. I think it's like I wouldn't want to you have a thing like right? I don't know if any more than the next person You wouldn't want to see been bed bugs right now unless I get notice out. Don't make it to the fuck you would to go right to the bed bugs Yeah, I'm saying like we're just just like he can't stay and he can't stay at the real I get it. Yeah, I know it's not real. I do it, but I wouldn't be happy and I bring my own stuff. What do you mean your own stuff? I bring my own linens

if you want. The Rio is not bad, but you two are like motels or these like like in the highway and I will like somewhere where you're standing. I got no, I got no problem with it. I say no, I stay in the Roscoe Motel. My wife almost fucking divorced me over this because I love fly fishing and the greatest fly fishing in the country. Some of it is in upstate New York at Roscoe, New York. And I stayed at the Roscoe Motel and my wife sat in the bed with oils. She brought oils. I can see it. Look at that. Yeah, that's right. Stead. Yeah, I'm not touching this fine. My wife, she stayed there. I don't know how she did. That's got poncho written all over it. 99 cent poncho.

That's her. I'm going to go and find the other. I thought you were going to go. I'd find a poncho. I spread it out. But you can't go. If you go to the city, you can't go camping. Definitely not. I'll see you on the other side. I guess I can go camping. Bring up K-O-A cabin. Tell me if you stay here. I found crack pipes and like a red roof in me found crack, fresh crack pipes on the floor under the bed.

We're like fresh. Fresh. Just the carpet is stained. Yeah, they were like burst like. It was like, I'm like stains on the floor. I remember one, one, one of sheet rock one of the walls had a hole in it. And they just didn't, it was a hole in the wall.

Would you stay there? Well, that seems like a cedar wood cabin. I thought that seems okay. But that's also the best way to make sure. They'll get it the best fucking KOA. Do Lou Berne. New bird New York KOA. He just brought up Ohio.

Yeah, watch it. Tell me if you say it. Yeah, I'm gonna change just things. It does. Yeah, would you stay in that? Is there a musk? Like a musk? Yeah, that looks fun.

Exactly, what's the link? A little bit. I, yeah, you have no problem with that. No, no. As long as it's clean. Yeah, but you know, I'm talking about these dives that we know are used for like probably There it is right there. So should I look at that?

Yeah, would you stand the bottom one? I'd have to be honest. I just have to look at that mattress. I give it a one-sauver really just see where it's been. What's up to? What and then I'll decide if I can you know Sally what does it smell? It's no good. What else are you getting? I'll do a one-sauv'd is a hair and a toilet. It's day there right? else are you get? I'll do a one's of this a hair and a toilet. It's day there, right? You stay there. Illinois. Yeah, it made me I'm girl. I get grossed out too quick. Really? Yeah, I'd sit up on I just see I will go up in the fucking woods.

I'll sleep on the ground on a blanket right now. I just sleep outside on the if there's no bugs. I'm also a city folk. There's too many bugs. Just looking at that that says bugs. What happened? Nothing. Oh, good. What did you do?

I, this is my career. Yeah, I think the older I get, the more I don't give a fuck about this shit. Yeah. I don't think I ever gave a ship just because where I, you know, when I was a kid, we had 13 of us in a house. Same. You sat, you know, what I feel a kid, we had 13 of us in a house. Same.

You sat, you know, but I think that's why the savings that grew in now, I feel like I'm older now. I don't have to do that anymore if I don't want to. That's true. I mean, I think you either go one way or the other. Maybe there's no middle ground with that. Yeah.

Yeah, because from my dirty brothers, that's how I develop. Sure. I'm not there scum. I'm not. Right. I had to share room with them. There was seven of us.

Why are we all the way up to the right? Because they're just animals and I kept screaming. You're good at go blind. You know, no way. You're going blind. No way. They didn't care. No.

From each other. Yes. We had a triple bunk bed, a double bunk bed, a single bed, and that's what we were. That's what we were. That's what we were. That's what we were. That's what we were.

I think I went to that really bad. Self-fully broke homes, yeah. That's how we slept. And so it was just a weird, and I would hear it all night. Oh, my gosh. White giz noise. Oh, my gosh. How would it go?

Listen to me. Oh, she can't fall asleep without it today. Yes, that worked. I have a track on my iPod. I put it in my sleep. Listen to the light, the ocean. I'm like, I mean, step in front of you. Every five years your brothers get together

and you're going off and alone. That's a beautiful triple bunk bed, but ours hasn't liked that. It was all wood. It was all stickier. Yes. Corroded. Hell together. Oh, man.

Oh, it was awful. It's so horrible. He's so horrible. He's so terrible. He's so horrible. He's so horrible. He's so horrible. He's so horrible.

He's so horrible. He's so horrible. He's so horrible. He's so horrible. He's so horrible. He's so horrible. He's so horrible. He's so horrible. He's so horrible. He's so horrible. He's so horrible. I was, he was on the couch yesterday, one is iPad, just literally playing with his fucking,

we call it this goopies. I'm watching them. I'm like, he's gonna stop. Who messed up? I mean, he is nuts. It's everything. All right. And I go, I just say, I don't know, I know,

I don't want to say cock. Stop playing with your dick. But take us on the journey from cockle. I don't know. I know. I almost had cock. It's not playing with your dick. But take us on the journey from cock over. Yes. That's far away. Why is it a plural? Because there's three things in here.

There's more. There's more than one. Listen, the act out. You went. You went. I love that act out. Oh, God, do I love an act out. I love an act out. A good act out. I, uh, I, uh, goopies is way down.

Like goopies. Yeah, he can't say. There you go. I, uh, I just, he was on the fucking, I know I just said goopies one day. I was like, those are your goopies. He's like, what are these? I go to goopies. You should tell him you made that up so he's never a situation when he gets older. He's like, you know, you know, he's sucking my goopies.

I didn't marry a moron. She tells him it's a penis. I mean, my wife is backing him. She's on the side going, let's make a... There's some normal braids somewhere in there. But, um, and I think he's got a nice nice piece to what I'm happy about. Like, you get my, you know, I got an all right piece, but I think he's got a better than average piece. Okay, but he was, he was just doing,

he was just like, fucking fidget, like a fidget spinner. So it starts just stress balls. And I went, hey, hey, at the 10 minutes, I'm like, hey, hey, your goobies are gonna fall off He went what I mean, they're gonna come off because now they don't I mean, I'm gonna have I don't care. I'll have that talk with them and I'll talk to him about masturbation and let him know That's not a bad thing, but I mean Which is good, but it's gonna be a lot.

So what? I'd rather have him jerking off with no complex over it. I don't want him to fucking think that God's gonna come down and burn his soul. Now, here's because he touched his face. Absolutely. I agree. But, yep, but, are you gonna be, are you on the spectrum? I'm ready.

I'm ready. I do fuck this over there. Fuck this. Are you, are you gonna be are you gonna be a spectrum? I'm ready Are you are you gonna be proud when he buries his towel when he just is his towels? You have to clean socks. Yeah, because now it's on your body. I don't care, but just don't bug me really if Mike if I'm still. If I'm still fucking, I feel like what's you have to do it. It's just a song, just don't fucking. If I found a giz rag in my kids room, I'd be proud. I'd be like, fucking honey, look at stiffies of bull. He's doing it. Yeah, I don't know the French. Yeah, I just don't want him to watch porn.

I don't want him to get into porn. I just don't want, I know he's got no't want him to get into porn. I just don't want I know he's got a I know he's got No, but Robert Kelly's just about how did you do that? Justin saying that's amazing. He's literally what he's on his game. There's nobody better. Hey, thanks. I think I know this is this that's really funny. I'm getting right. Sal Sal.

What I could use this. What is this? I didn't even know this existed. That's really funny. I'm kidding. Right, Sal, Sal. What I could use this, what is this? Custard juice maker. Yeah, just toom style. Oh, that's good. I'm gonna use this for the chef. Yeah, right. That's amazing.

There we go. Change that. It doesn't jerk off on linens. And won't retweet this. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Can't. I can't. Um, yeah, it's going to be a weird day.

I mean, teaching your kid how long? How long? Six. Yeah, you got five years. How do you know? Because I think a fucking parent, stop telling me how far I'm going on what I did. Like 11 years old. That's when I started playing with my groupies.

Listen, my kid is pleased. Don't fucking make, listen. My kid's not anybody in this room. Okay, nobody. Right? My kid is definitely not you. You're not fucking, I did it. Yeah. He's not you. He's not me. I hope, dude. Right? He is you. He's not you. He's not me because of version.

No, he is a, he is a, he has a, he has a better shot of having his chance to make better choices in life than I did. You know, stand because he has two parents that really give a fuck about him that are, you know, really trying to do the best they can for him. Our whole lives are for him. Yeah. I've sacrificed even I would say I used to be in love with my career and making it.

I'm not anymore. I'll say it. I love my kid, my family and that's it. So I'm happy with where I'm at if that's as far as I go, which I've always I want to fucking I want that. Yeah, I fucking and there's people you know, whatever I get it, but you know, the you sacrifice a lot to get that. Yeah.

And if you can get it and then get married and have a kid, that's the ultimate, but that doesn't happen most of the time. You know, so there's a point you have to make a choice. So my kid gets a thousand there for that. You know, it gets's a point you have to make a choice. So my kid gets a thousand effort dad, you know We don't He doesn't jizz on me when he's fucking six years from now My goopies playing with my goopies. That's what he's gonna. I'm gonna change it. I don't know what what

I'm sort of you from this I've never heard of that before. I know I asked I made it up because I didn't want to say what am I supposed to say? I'm in a big something to what you not say all right, well, listen Fucking my kids and kids actual my kids and kids. I got a text book actual for the first name. I'm not bringing my kids to say penis and kindergarten. You're fucking ass. He like twiggin' berries. You're something. You can't put your kids like goopies?

You can say goopies. Yeah, you can say goopies. You can say toots. You can't just say, ah, I just shot pee out of my penis and I fought it out of my ass. I mean, I think you should say that. You can't say penis and kindergarten. But so he can say to a girl to her, I want to see my

I got to deal with this fucking millennial for a second. Sorry. Listen, why you really think a kid can kindergarten a kid go and say, my penis hurts. I think if he says my goopies hurt, he'll be sent somewhere. No, he won't. He's gonna go, huh? Yeah, the nurse.

So they get it. They get it, right? I don't know. I could be a kid walked up to you and said, my kid walked up to you. You're at my house. He's five. He walks up. He goes, great. I'm playing with my penis. Would that make you comfortable? Or if you went up, these are my goopies. What would you? What would be a cuter? Wait, no, you're leading the witness. be cuter. Wait, no, you're meeting the witness here. What would be cuter if not the question? What would I prefer? I prefer to be like, I'm playing with my

friends. He's not doing this. He's not doing this. He's not doing this. I said he's willing to have his not to. You're an open hand. You were like, I just got out of this. Like I fucked you out of your mouth. I don't hear aasing anybody just saying to me. We literally all just said a joke at the same time. We all fucking my second brother. We all fucking my second brother. He's not fucking heaven hearts kid. Man, what are you gonna do?

You're gonna have a boy or girl. What do you think? What do you want? I get it. I want both, you know, I just want to make sure I have a boy eventually so I can keep my name Yeah, but other than that, I know oh you want to keep the I want to don't want my religion to stop. Are you the last volcano? I am you are Yeah

Were you changing into volcano so he can keep his living? I have three sisters and a ton of niece. I do have a few nephews Are you changing into volcano so he can keep his limits? Sure. I have three sisters and a ton of niece. I do have a few nephews, but I've mostly been surrounded by females. So I'm, you know, I'm so used to that. So I feel like I have girls. Can I say something? Yeah.

Maybe the reason why you're well adjusted sexually is because you brought up with women. Could be. I think, right? What do you think about that? Gab? Sure. Yeah. Right? I appreciate you. You designated me to well-adjusted sexually. When really we've covered just some very few simple topics. I don't come into the school.

I'm trying to get into towels. I'm labeled as normal. Well, you don't like to wear goopies either. I mean, no, I don't mind goopies. You like goopies. Yeah. Oh good. All right. I'm ready. How's that? I've been the middle of two girls and I think coming into the toilet was a nice way to clean up and nobody would have to deal with come anywhere or in the towels or in the socks. Yeah, you know comment is considering because you had three girls. That's what I'm saying is that you can't you have you look up with guys or grow up by yourself alone and have nobody except for a stepfather

used to beat you and you just cried all the time. You might jerk off in a towel now. Again, just for a friend, maybe you can prop it up like a like a little face and hold them. Give a name. Yeah, just you know, call me. Goobies. Hey, hey, goops. How you doing? All right. I'm pushing. Yeah, I can't help it. I'm addicted to this. This chick's fat tits. I'm not Tony from the signing.

I think that might be a brother. I think that's, I think being around women, guys who I know were around women. I think that's, I think that's, I think being around women, guys who I know were around women. I think that's, I think that's be a brother. I think that's being around women. Guys who I know who are around women are sexually better than not as creepy. Not as deviant, which I'm not saying

fucking deviant is bad. I'm not sure you're a fuck. I know whatever you do whatever you want, but I'm deviant, but I don't think I had a choice. I never had a choice. It was just forced upon me from the environment and the friends I had and the people I was around and everything. It was just that that 70s and 80s. I mean, all our shows are tits and ass and skating and getting sucked. And you know, fucking date rape was good. You know what I mean?

And I mean, all the boy, I mean seriously. They're on him. They're on him. And I'm a house. I mean, there was fucking shit with a sleeping, you know. It's like, that shit was, that's what you do, you know? And then all of a sudden, you wake up and you're like, I'm a piece of shit.

And it's like, fucking 2016 is like, wow, I think I've, I've done that to girls. So I got to, I'm talking about my wife. Well, they call that, what they call that when they, when the kids with Michael Jackson was doing. Uh, molesting. No, not that. It's not the whole thing.

What he was doing when he was getting them feeding them, what was it called? Oh, grooming. Gruming? Yeah. Gruming. Yeah. I think I've groomed. Yeah. I think I've groomed some girls.

I think I've never heard that phrase until I, the last year, because Drake got in trouble to talk into the girl from Stranger Things. Yeah. So young. And everyone was like, oh, like, she said that they were friends and she asked him advice about dating. And then that was all over the

that word was everywhere and that's the first time I heard it. What the fuck is up with Drake? What is he doing? I don't know much. I don't know anything about it but then the fucking basketball sitting there. What's wrong with that? He's screaming at people now. He's just fucking getting you know unless you're playing shut up. And again, I I'm not saying. I don't know what I'm just saying that they wrote that. I don't know what, you know, what is intentions? What do you think is intentions? Well, I think he's probably just, he's probably normal and people just blow things completely at the point.

Yeah. Yeah. I was being a nice person. Throw a weird word out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why is this figure under ear then? Wait a minute. No.

Why is he even a wet, wet, wet ear here? Wet, wet, wet, doors. He was a child actor too, so it makes sense. Yeah. Why is he giving away a wedding with her? What really doorsed? He was a child actor too, so it makes sense. Yeah. Yeah, there's no way he's doing something with her. That'd be creepy. Yeah, I think people are just ridiculous.

It is a fucked up time now. You just one person can say one thing and thousands of people latch onto it and it's the truth forever. Even if somebody's feeling that wasn't true, it's just a thought. Fake outrage. God damn it. I wish I could get off the truth forever. Even if somebody thought that wasn't true, it's just- Fake outrage, yeah. God damn it, I wish I could get off social media forever. Just social media, that's where it is. But I love my fans, I love people,

like people who listen to the show go see you. It's like the only way that they get to be in touch with you. And it's fucking awesome that you get to talk to them like that, you know? Yeah, you're getting, you know, I get emails and stuff from fans that are like, you know, your podcast helped me through a bad time. There's one guy standing there that he says dying of stomach cancer and he wants merch.

Have you done that yet? I'm not your merch, but I've gotten it. No, those guys sent me a thing. I don't know what to do with it, but he sent it to somebody else. I think Chrissy D. Yeah, where's like, listen, yeah, what? He sent it to Christy. Yeah, like there's other comics. He's like, listen, I'm dying.

I feel like that one. Are you going to tell? Yeah, for Andrew, not me, obviously, give a shit about me, but he's like, can you get me merch? Well, what is merch going to do you, if you're dying in a couple of months, what do you want a bunch of t-shirts? That? What is merch going to do you if you're dying in a couple months, what do you want to buy your t-shirts? That's what I'm going to do.

Mother of a fold when you're on free shits. Always fun. Yeah. But I did two suspicious to me. You're one of my favorite comics. You said that to Chris and then you said it to if I'm, you know what I mean? If I'm you can have five, you can have everybody. I don't know. I feel weird. I can't just have tons of merch just because you're dying

I mean you can't say the same thing. Yeah You know so I mean come on so I mean I want to be what's the guy's name? I'll talk I mean you can't just have merch. I can't just have everybody's merch I mean it's unreasonable. You got a pick what was sorry, but you can't just have merch. You can't just have everybody's merch. I mean, it's just unreasonable. You gotta pick what was sorry, but you can't just lie everybody's merch. People are trying to make God's him living. You can't just have to be merch. You're sick from the hype.

I'm okay, you don't even deal with merch. You're gonna be trying to teach your baggly shit with this guy and he's doing what he says to. And it's great just you can't just have merch for the children and comedians. You can't just have seven free shirts What a mask in his this listen You fucking preacher no

You know fucking do this and now just give everything away Now get it listen I should do All right, so I'll send them stuff. I listen if you really have stuff But here's the fucking shitty Italian part of me. I want you to prove it. Not proof. I don't want to see the results. I just feel like if you look,

I do stuff for people. Retweet this, give money. I give money all the time. Whatever I can give, and I'm not rich at all. And I'll be like, honey, I got to send some money this way. I got to do this. I got to retweet this. I f**k, I'm not rich at all. And I'll be like, honey, I gotta send some money this way. I gotta do this, I gotta retweet this, I gotta do anything. And then when I got that, I was like, absolutely, I'll send you what you want, but then Chris was like,

did you get this and then you said he's got it and he's doing it. It's like, dude, just say, look, there's something going on. Like if this is some piece of shit, I'm f**k red it, trying to get merch and see what yeah, I would fucking kill me because now you're going to fuck it up for other people because I'm going to be suspicious to everybody. And it's not like I want you to, you know, show me your bald head or whatever, but, you know, you know, I need a little more

than a fucking quick email. If you're like, maybe a phone mother, if you always everyone is said, and they would certainly be up percentage of people, I was swindling you, I'm sure. One of the people rooted for the other people is this is the first time I have somebody asked most people just say, for my tickets. No, hey, man, can you give me a shout? Most people who are really sick, like I love you stuff.

And oh, somebody from the family, but can you we have a go-fun me a blah blah blah yeah okay I got it you know there's a whole thing and you can you know but this is a little I don't know I'm sick dude I got you but it's a little weird don't you think yeah but I'm just saying if even if we are being scammed or you're being scammed or whatever yeah you lose a t-shirt I was gonna send a hoodie excuse me it I was going to send a hoodie. Excuse me, big time. It's a little fucking, you know what I'm saying? It's good car, it's good to be around for that. So you can do it with a hoodie.

He is top of the class. I was just going to send a hoodie. I get a hoodie. No, you have kids, huh? No, I can't get one. You said a baby. What about this one? Forget about the straight hair by the way. This self-apox, low end merch.

For this purpose. You move that. Some stickers. As you get, send them all my, all my, from my first album. You know what they do? You know what they ship up? Now they ship up like the NBA final.

T-shirts they make when the team doesn't win To like what I'm called get him like the Bobby the Bobby Kelly of America's got talent 2004 T shirt you made it whatever I was I'm gonna send them I'm gonna send them I'm gonna send them out like shit It's so weird because I do you the letter you not spelling it out Why are you all right? Why you, the letter you not spelling it out? It was time. I don't know. I don't know. Why are you all right?

It was an awful lot of time. Why are you sweating so? Are you okay? Get on here. No, it's not that hot, Michael. I want to make sure you're not dying of Mexican fucking cancer. It's hot in here. And tell me a teacher can't die in a Mexican cancer.

I get it. He has no, why not ask? He has nothing to lose. I get it. Yeah. Well, all right. You know, we've done some pounds. A fan sent me some stuff. And he said he's going to lose some I get it. Yeah. Well, all right. You know, we've done some pounds. A fan said he's got to lose some pounds.

Is that guy? Yeah, I don't know the guy. He might be like, oh, he's asking for an XL shirt. So, I mean, how bad is his cancer? He's got to be a stomach cancer. Well, I mean, that's tough. That's tough for you, Justin. So, I definitely can't retweet it now.

Yeah. I mean, I'm pontificating on what could We just so I definitely can't retweet it now Retract my kids I mean I'm pontificating on what couldn't couldn't be I got blessed a man and I will be told a mercy once Once aware all the merch one time I'm gonna I'm off send them some I'll send them a couple Listen I don't know if you want to bless him Sal you're such a nice guy Catholic guilt really, but he does know listen this is genuine if this was anybody else They really go fuck yourself, but he's

Just a nice guy you're really a sweet guy. Thanks. It's not you being an ass kissing you know Celebrity you know, celebrity. You know what I mean? Like, because you're out in fucking TV. And you're just a sweet guy. This, you, it's shocking. It's different. You were shocked.

I figured you'd be on my side. Like, go fuck yourself. But apparently, I have the Catholic bill. Yeah, God. Jesus, we all do. Yeah, you too. That's shocking. I thought you were go to I tell you

I know you'd be on the You're nobody so would you give him Gabby what should I do I need to see the email But I'm also a skeptic Jew to where I'm like all right Oh my god, okay, I, you're reselling the shirts. That's where my mic goes. This is why I'm a Jew from the Jersey Shore, so it's different. That's where I was.

Yeah, she's woke vegan, but she also has a little dirt in her former father and mother. A little garbage, a little Jersey garbage in her. So I ask her opinion on a lot of stuff. I go to her because she keeps her relevant with the young punks of today. But she also says, as a edgy fill fucking slime from the 80s and her too. She's got those purple onions in her. I can't ask Mike, but she's like, fucking, he's got cancer. Let him die. I'm fucking dying here in New York. You send me merch, you fat fucking hell.

I'll sell it. You know it's not dying, Mom. What? Laffable.com. So, yeah. Well, Android and iPhone. Yes, Laffable.com, you know, blah, blah, blah. I have it in my car.

My new Florida Ranger that is back. Whoa, it's back. 19. They stopped making is back. Whoa. Spack. They stopped making it in 2011 here in the US and they just brought it back in 2019. The Florida Ranger. I got a Larry edition, which is the top of the line. And I had it for four days and I smashed into a poll at McGubbies. I'm going to call it McGoopies. I'm going to call it. You would be, I'm going to call it McGoopies. I'm going to call it McGoopies. I'm going to call it McGoopies. I'm going to call it McGoopies. I'm going to call it McGoopies. McGoopies.

My goopies. My goopies. I'm going to call it McGoopies. I'm going to call it McGoopies. I'm going to call it McGoopies. I'm going to call it McGoopies. I'm going to call it McGoopies. I'm going to call it McGoopies.

I'm going to call it McGoopies. I'm going to call it McGoopies. I'm going to call it McGoopies. I'm going to call it McGoopies. I'm going to call it McGoopies. I'm going to call it McGoopies. I'm going to call it McGoopies. I'm going to call it McGoopies.

I'm going to call it McGoopies. I'm going to call it McGoopies. I'm going to call it McGoopies. I'm going to call it McGoopies. I'm going to call it McGoopies. You will, you know next time I see how I don't unfold it. You smash a brand new car for these old. Buddy, four days old, I smell. Hell. Hell. Hell. I'm gonna tell you this. Thank you. Tell me.

Listen to me. Hey, I'm thinking of that parking lot. So it's just doing this. That accent, your name fits. Hell. I am now. If you don't tell you, if I wasn't married, I'm out. I am out. I'm out. I'm out. If you don't tell you, if I wasn't married,

I'd fucking fall in love with you. You know what a power couple we date. You know what a fucking point. We fucking body and fucking rich. Go fuck yourselves. We fight them. Have you had many men fall in love with you over the years and you have to turn them away?

Because I know what he's saying. It's true. You're not a joke. No, no, I don't mean to joke at all. No, no, no, no. You have to turn them away. Cause I know what he's saying. It's for you. Yeah, full room on. I'm sorry. I love you, Bubba. You have to be sorry. Wait. So tell me how you I will. I broke my ribs on Monday, snow tubing. And then I drove, I drove all right, drove up there to McGoobees. And I was, I was so embarrassing to I'm going to say I was driving out empty parking lot. And there was a bachelor party a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little Let me tell you this. So as I pull away, I guys take care.

And I roll out. And I roll out. As I'm rolling out, there's a car coming this way. I look that way and then fucking. And I was wondering, what is it everybody? All of a here is this. And then fucking and I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, These guys are the grandadopters, the fucking greatest thing we ever saw. That's literally the guy who just fucking they paid the seat. Smash into a pole. Brand new truck. I sat in my car, though I think it was the groom came over. He was like, dude, you all right? I was like, I don't know.

And then another fan came over, he had a truck. He goes, yo man, he goes, I go, how bad is it? He goes, dude, it's bad man. Yeah. Did I take you with everyone? Do you have a love to finish? So then the, the, the owner of the club comes out, you know, fucking Andrew. He comes out, he's like, he's like, what the

fuck? He was Bobby. He was once you get out of the car, go, I'm, no, I just leave me. I made everybody walk away and I sat in the car and shocked for an hour by myself as these people left. And then I just remember the backs of party looking at me and just, they were trying to stay like look for pictures. Oh, dude, it's this video, someone. I don't know where it is. If you're out there, please.

I just sat there by myself. And then an hour by an interview came back, oh, Bobby, you gotta get. And I, and he goes, just back it up and leave it here. And I just, I just didn't, you don't know what to do. I'm like, what do I do? He's like, you know, because, you know, I know, I'm just just like, and I backed it up. And I remember I could only go, I could only good, I could only do this. It's a wheelless duck. So I could do circles. So I had to, I had to back it up in this, I probably in this spot. And I had to get out the passenger. When did you get a tow truck? You had to fix it in Baltimore?

Then it was in Baltimore for three months. And I have to, Bob Davidson Ford, the people over there, fucking, I gotta tell you, I love them. Because the guy calls me up like the first week. He's like, listen, yeah, they haven't made this car since 2011. There's no parts for this. When I called for, they were like, this is the first one that's crashed.

Oh, shit. Tell this guy, congratulations, holy shit. Because this is the first car we got. So it took months to get the parts for this car. Wow. And I just got it back last week. And I fucking love it. But I drive like, I really, I, I, I, what did you,

what did you have to drive? I drive like an Eleanor now. No, I don't know how to get that. How did you, I don't understand the, I don't know how to you crack. You serve to void, I'm going to tell you in this parking lot. And this is what Andrew said that

fucking annoyed me. You know, Andrew, I love Andrew keeps the eyes closed. I love him. He's definitely on this bathroom. He's definitely. Yeah, he's definitely one of my

favorite club owners. He's just a fucking person. Bobby broke his stones so much about how awful the furniture and the dressing room was that he bought all new stuff. That out of here. I checked this out. Mugubis used to put you up at the Crown Royal.

Now they put you up at the Sheraton in the mall, which is nice, restaurant, right across you for the mall. The Crown Royal, what the fuck it was? Why were you driving the Crown Royal? Was it with that crown? Crowns, I was a plaza, yeah. Yeah, they lived in room. I went into bed one night and there was blood on my sheet.

So I can't tell you something. I swear on my hands. I thought you were saying. I stayed at the crown, this whatever it's called. Crown plaza. One time, we went to go check in. I woke up and said there was blood in the room. There was blood, there was hair the room. Yeah, there was blood

There was hair. There was grease. There was piss. Please downstairs checked out went to another hotel Right, I One time I went into that hotel. There was blood now listen. I want to say this I don't forget I'm gonna say this now because it's been a lot of time But I I tried went downstairs. I said this blood in the in the lady was like well, what do you want me to do? I went what I went downstairs. I go this blood in the lady was like, well, what do you want me to do? I went what? I went downstairs. I go this blood. She goes, do you want another room? I go, I got this. I called up Andrew. I said, I'm out of here. This is fucking nuts. I'm checking out of a hotel. I'll pay for it myself. I don't give a fuck. He of course called me and said, dude, I got it.

I got it. No problem. The Sharon and my day was beautiful. He of course called me and said, dude, I got it. I got it. No problem. The Sharon and Wenthe was beautiful. And I told them at the Sharon, they gave me a great deal. Everybody goes to the Sharon's here from now on. Because of me. Now, in hindsight, when I went back up to the room, I figured out that it wasn't blood.

It was rib sauce from the Chinese ribs I got. That looks like you. Well, I fucked up. But my mind was fucking, what? Listen, mine was ripped off. Because when I got that, I was like, I had some tax on the floor. I think this is Barrett.

I think this is Barrett's. I'm just saying. I look just like blood. Not a baguette, because I was eating ribs and bad. So I had pissed off my toilet, pubes, I had dumbtacks, and on the coffee table it was all greasy. It's a huge blow on it. And that's it.

I took pictures. And now, so when I crash my thing, right? I'm tapped. So when I go into the Mugube's, I'm sitting there going, I go, you get fucking head liners coming here. This couch is disgusting. The arms are fucking have dirt on them from people not washing their hands.

Do you know how many people have to touch something for it to get dirty? Just from regular dirt hands. Thousands. I go, the table is disgusting. There's nothing on the wall. It costs, you know, much furniture costs. It cost a hundred dollars for a couch. Nice couch, maybe fifty dollars for chairs, maybe a hundred dollars for a couch. I'm nice couch.

Maybe 50 dollars for chairs. Maybe fucking 20 dollars for a coffee table. He was like, you right? No, that's why I love it. You right? You right? You right. And now he fucking made the green room nice.

Yeah. Beautiful. And then dice, torment ass hole for it not having a bathroom in it. So now he's out 50 grand. He put a bathroom in that house. Italian marble. So he comes out 50 grand. He put a bathroom in it. It's all in marble. So he comes up to me. I'm in the park, I'm in my car.

New as you hit the pole. Yeah, everybody hits this. I go, it's the thing. I go paint the yellow. Holy shit. Light it up. You fuck. Cause it's a cement pole and it's a black pole. It's a cement

Holder, right and that holds a pole and it's a black pole So and there's a tree line in the background. So when you're driving to it So if you look on it drive we were driven Take the word we out, please. You're right, you're absolutely right. But yeah, I can't even imagine that, just how embarrassing. I heard the first laugh. If you didn't leave, listen to this smash.

And then, well, you get the fucking ball. Do you know this, Ron? There's a scene you probably pull it up on YouTube. This is in from Peewee's big adventure. There's this one scene. It makes me cry as I'm a kid. He's in a bike bar. You know what I'm going to say, Kila?

They were going to beat him up, and then he becomes free. He wins them over. And he's leaving the bike bar. He's got like a jack on it. Now they accepted him as one. And he's like, he's giving them hugging them. And he's like, all right, it's time for me to hit the old road,

guys. And he gets on the bike and he revs it. And they're like, yeah, that's your number. He drives away and the same frame he crashes. Right. Yeah, that was amazing. You understand, I was killing in the parking lot. That's what makes it so sweet.

That's what makes it so murdering with this fucking backslap party. Yeah, this was it. This is exactly what it is. what Bobby right to the side. He said dude Yeah Yeah, that's exactly what happened. Yep, that's exactly what happened. Yep, that's exactly what happened. That's exactly what happened.

That's exactly what happened. That's exactly what happened. Ah, fuck me, dude. That's so silly. I don't know. I went from the best. I remember getting my car on Sunday and knowing that we were going to the mountains on Monday.

I remember pulling into the mountains with my truck. It's snow on the ground. I remember like, I have my pickup truck. I was always wanted a fucking pickup truck. And I remember pulling into the thing and checking in with my truck and we had all stuff in the back. And I was like, man, I'm so happy.

And then it just one little ride down a fucking tub. And I just fucking went in the hospital ribs, bro. I saw that footage four days later. My car's gone on. I'm driving in a fucking Hyundai broken ribs going to some shit gig. Just fuck I can't stay on the stage for an hour because I'm like, ugh, I mean, Loon, my life went from, I did it to fucking you, just die. Just asking people from merch. I am. I'm gonna get you some stuff, laugh.

You know I'ma be the shit, go back. Eleanor, yes. Thank you for coming in. You shit, you're back. Alonore, yes. Thank you for coming in. You, thank you for that. I'm so, you know, we did the podcast tonight for you. I love that, thank you. You just usually do Mondays. No, cause you're one of my favorite people.

I really, you know, I, I meet people in the business. I love, look, I love genuine people. I love people I know from the get go of, it doesn't matter what the fuck, how big you become, how small you are. Whatever the fuck it is, you're just a genuine person. Any hilarious on the crew as you are killing it. Killing it. Funny. You're so much the balls too. My sister Karen is crazy. You had a blast. Yeah. I'm sorry, but I have you guys. Oh, these two on the fucking crew are killing me. Oh, they're just fucking out of you guys had fun. Yeah. Yeah activities, you got to have dance, like everything.

I just it was great to have you as part of my favorite part of the whole, the whole time. I don't know the last night. Cause you know, I love doing my own little thing. I just kind of, I go here and there and, you know, you have fun. No, I hope. Dude, I can't tell you how much fun I have in the fuck. I mean, just, you know, going from little pockets of, you know,

I mean, it was clicks, but we all, the clicks all hung with clicks. We all did stuff together. Yeah. It's okay to get there. It was just there, but we came together, you know, me and Verzi, but then it was, you know, Nate. Hey, you know, yeah, Mateo and Jessica. Yeah, it was great.

Jessica, right. It was fucking great. But one of my favorite things was when the last night, you had the big thing, I mean, just crazy. It really impressed me. I was telling my wife about it that you guys try, you try so hard with your fans. You know, you know, it's like, there's no,

you give 110 fucking percent. Every second you're in front of those people, you're fucking given them every ounce of energy you have. Thanks a lot. And there's no, it's you and them. It feels like it's you, you know what I mean? Like you guys made it. You did it.

You're fucking got the money. The show, blah, blah, blah. And you're on this cruise and it's, you're still out there in front of all them fucking giving them Everything you have and that's why you got good fans. I saw the fan They're one of my favorite things the end of the night that that big concert I'll find you guys were out there and Joe to roast a drunk and he got on the stage and he spilled a little booze because you know Joe It's trying to be fucking Dean Martin all the time He spilled it and he got yelled at.

You can't get off the stage. I was in his own head, though. He was drunk. And I was going, the guy was a kiddin'. What's your name was joking? Yeah. The joke came over and goes, what the, you know, Joe, he's obsessive.

He's like, did I fuck up? Did I? For the next hour, we're like talking Joe off a ledge. Joe, you're fine. You just built a little, he's like, I off a ledge. Joe, you're fine. You just built a little thing. I mean, I was just having a good time. Joe, and then 10 minutes required. I mean, what the fuck is he doing here?

What the fuck? I'm out of the business. I shouldn't even be in this business. I'm not going to put up a sandwich shop. I love my dog. It was spiraling. Him spiraling out of fucking soap. I mean the last night, the final hours, Joe Spine.

Oh my god, the business. In front of thousands. Just, I'm doing the best to me. You would see a walk over to people they've been hushed. Like trying to get away from So great so fucking funny man that I mean that cruise had I remember First he's on stage and all of a sudden we hit a big wave Oh, yeah, all the all the all the show's were in the front of the boat You see a fact the ship goes boom. He goes what the fuck

shit goes boom he goes what the fuck what the fuck you fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I've never seen him even fucking so much money. You fucking even piss at his top of Macaroni. What the fuck? I've heard him. He's the fucking best.

You, rock, and I show. I show. Holy shit. Dude, that was one of the biggest crushes I've ever seen. Like literally, I'm not even, you walk off on cloud nine. That was people who kind of flow of crime. Yeah, that was insane.

That was the person, I mean, I took the whole thing. That's where it is. That was the person, I mean, I said the whole thing. Where are it? It's a bunch of jays. When I banned you and Jays Dolenbeth, I know God bless you. He did amazing. Yeah, I would, I mean, not. I wouldn't have worn a hair to follow that. Jays like the only person I know they can get up there.

That kind of a crush. Yeah, Jays. Nothing against anyone. I'm sorry. I'm just saying Jays so stupid. I mean, yeah, whatever. But go back to me. I mean, I really, you know, Bobby,. I'm sorry. I'm just saying Jay is so stupid. Yeah, whatever, but go back That was

We were in a semi-circle side stage. Yeah, just crying on side stage. That was unbelievable. It was fun and it was it was I remember one of the great things I've seen in my life is three really big girls Get enough the elevator with with it was mac and cheese, a plate of mac and cheese with three slices of pizza on top of the mac and cheese, but here's the fucking kicker. It was three in the morning, and I was like, this is the place for me. Like this is, I've taken it. I just want to go, I just want to follow these girls back to their room. I just feel like hey guys What are we doing?

Really doing right now? That's fucking just fucking do this. Fucking dirty up some towels. Yeah, I did it on the cruise out. No, on the cruise. Yeah, on my balcony by myself with socks on. Sweet of God. In the ocean. That's not true. Dude, like a That's not true.

Dude, like a poth, not true. Like a dolphin. A poth, not true. Into the ocean. I stood on a chair. And my heart was like, I know you wouldn't do that. That's too dangerous. Stop.

Stop. Stop a bit. What kind of chair? Stop a bit. Stop a bit. This is an image. It's dangerous, dude. Do you know how you know my dog?

You're having a jerk up story. I'm the fucking dude. I was pants on a russian just tumbling down. I'm gonna do it. Dude, what are you got going on? Wednesday. This coming up Wednesday. 40th birthday, headlamp downstairs. I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to do it.

I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to do it.

I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to do it. What do you got going on Wednesday? This is coming up Wednesday, 40th birthday, headlighted downstairs. I'm a fool.

Yeah, I'm trying to 40 on Wednesday. Your headline and where? Downstairs at the Fab Blacks. And then we'll be hanging out after, so I'll come by. That's great dude, who you get on the show? Donnelly, Jessica Kiersten, Mikey Somerville and Greg Stone. That's a big show? Yeah, it should be fun That's a great show, man. Thank you, man. Thanks for having me. It was great. Happy birthday. Thanks, Bob. Yeah, you should

And we'll see you again. We'll have you back on Absolutely dude. Fucking love you dude. What do you do Nick show? You yes him yelling at you Nick DePolo y at him, because he talked to him, and then he'd be like, and you know, Nick will talk to him and then he'll answer him and then Nick will be like, yeah, what the fuck's wrong with that? And he'd be like, well, I'm not talking to you.

I'm talking to myself. This is my show. You just sound rhetorical. You know, like, it's my favorite. He still does it to the people that say, yeah. Sure, it's for kids. Oh my God. It's my favorite. He still does it to the people that I'm sure is poor kids. Oh my God. It's the fucking in my love. You love it. I hate it. I love it. You know,

because he used to do that, you know, when I was coming up, Nick was one of the guys at the table and I'd come on. He'd be like, well, I shut the fuck up. We got nothing to say. Yeah. I'm like, dude, fuck you. Go, let's do this. Let's find I miss the days where you could fight. I'm not just taking good old days. know, just take a good old days. Yeah, just take a hot beating from somebody and then you just know better when you walk in.

You know, just a nice beta male. Hey Nick, how you doing? Can I get a sit down, you little fucking queen? I remember Nick was living in LA and I was a waitress at the comedy store at the early 90s and I was subbing for our talent coordinator was a little bit of an alcohol. So I was subbing answering phones and I said one second, I was going to be so rude. I got a time this because if he's not out in a couple minutes, he's dead.

Oh, go ahead. You gotta see him come and make sure he's breathing. Oh my gosh. Sweating. Sweating messy in the day. We're snoring. We're snoring. Yeah. You gotta see him come and make sure he's breathing. Oh my god. He's sweating. He's sweating messy in the day. He's here. He's here.

He's here. He's here. He's here. He's here. He's here. He's here. He's here. He's here.

He's here. He's here. He's here. He's here. He's here. He's here. He's here. He's here.

He's here. He's here. He's here. He's you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry't call any evils in this week. Can you went, yeah, because I don't fucking got any, any young up on me, I know I do what I was. Really?

Wow. I was just calling from the comedy store. I'm like, what? You think it fell? Yeah, that sounds right. You don't call any goes, because you don't fucking got any. You just, I was like, dude, it's 10 a.m. Chill.

How did you, I mean, like, you and Dice right now, I mean, the things you guys did. We're not getting back together. Stop it. I'm not, you're pushing it. But you guys on the road together, there's something about your, I don't understand why that is not a, you two. We tried to show. We tried to show.

I don't understand it because Dice, look at me and Dice is funny on stage. I saw her last hour, I remember, back then it I don't understand it because dice, look at man, dice is funny on stage. I saw his last hour. I remember back then it was fucking great because it was so different now. He does. He does. He's so different. He's fucking funny. Man, I never did one, but he goes, hey, I kicked the legs apart in the alley and he did something fucking crazy. I forget, I'm going to have ruined the bit, the, the, um, I forget that. I'm gonna have ruined the bit, but it was, we were all dying. I remember Rogan was like, we go on to see dice. I was like, I'm not going back to that story.

And I had this show that I was so worried about that I didn't want to lose my voice back down. I was like, I don't want to go. Rogan's like, come on, you got to go. It's dice. Yeah. And I was like, dude, I don't have, and I was like, I was all mad that I was, they were forcing me to go like him and Norton. And then I went and I was like, this is I don't have, and I was like, I was all mad that I was, they were forcing me to go like him in Norton

And then I went and I was like, this is the greatest thing I've ever seen. The fact that I shot dice at the rift And I was like, what the fuck was I thinking? I'm so glad Rogan was like, dude, you have to go to this We're hanging out, we're going to see dice Fucking 30 seconds into his set. He kicked a guy up going to see guys fucking 30 seconds into his set. He kicked a guy out. Literally. Guy went up the moment he said something to the guy. And he goes, get the fuck out.

Good bye. And this guy was like, what was that? What the fuck? He just booted up for being a dickhead out of the game. Out of the fucking rib and they grabbed him and took him out. Because the rib don on fuck around. And he went on and he did his hour that they filmed and I was like, this is fucking great.

We were dying. I came out and got the shirt and I was like, I almost missed this because of whatever shit I have in my head, whatever hangups I have about, I almost didn't go and see this thing. And now it's like you guys, I watch you guys, I was watching your Instagram. And then I saw you guys together.

And I was like, this is, I'm addicted to it. Him yelling at her, but her going, go fuck yourself. She was on the treadmill and doing some. She's like, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's out of window. That's a good throw me out. Good. Let me see. Throw me out. And he literally stops there. All right. Yeah.

That's right. It's. I was. I would. Yeah. I would watch it every fucking week. I don't know why it's not a reality show. We have enough with Alaskans.

What? Every fucking shows about a fucking people have a whole lot of ice rhodes. Yeah, Alaskans in the woods, Alaskans, Alaskans. Fuck, alright, I get it. I like Alaska. I watch a couple of shows, but I'm done. I'd rather watch you and dice.

Travel. You guys should fucking why so much. We're doing it. We're working on Alaska. That's right. We're going to move to Alaska and get a show. I'm so glad you're in my life And I love you. Thank you so much for having me and South of course You got angel. You know what man? I'm so happy because is the you know the success you have is it's not even you I didn't even understand it's like one of my crews. was like, wow. I remember I started at the Comic Con when there was a line down the whole street.

And I was like, what's this for? And I remember the guy looking at me like, I was dumb. He goes, dude, this is for the Joker. I was like, fuck it. I was like, who's the guy? Oh, the guy that worked there? I don't know. It's one of your fans in the line.

Okay. Because I was there for the- You got beat up by one of your fans. I was there for sexy drugs, and I thought I was, you know, the shit, you know, but that I woke up, there's a fucking line, seven blocks long, you have your own storefront, I go, what's this for? Those that meet Ryan Reynolds or something.

Mr. M. E. U. Shadrull from fucking Staten Island. It's right. It's a foul. That's crazy. Crazy. But then the boat was nuts. That's what I was like. This is fucking right. But you treat your fans so awesome.

And you're one of the sweetest guys. And are you the only one that do stand up on the team? Yes. Really? Yeah, they're smart. I have an interesting. I'd be fair. I always wanted to do it.

But you never wanted to do it. Yeah, I do it. I tell you, you watch the old, I started watching when I started meeting you when I started talking to you, we became friends. I started watching the old videos on YouTube. I don't know what the hope used to talk about it. I love seeing you. I got to come back home. What was the one where you sent you that I laughed? I fucking watched those.. Oh yeah, that's right. What about my fucking music in the towel you can't retweet it. I can't retweet that.

It's the funniest clip. Uh, the tendoloins when he went. He was so surprised you out there. He built a time machine, right? And he went back and fuck sales, right? He fucked. You know, you went to the future went to the future and fuck your, my daughter, fuck your daughter, you came back as I fucked your daughter.

And then is that the one? Yeah, it's it. Is that it? Please play this. We're really one of the fun in seven minutes. Just play the end where he comes back. So Sal goes into the fucking time machine and he comes back.

Go to the end. I go to get back at him because he went to the, We're roommates and I ate his Chinese food out of the fridge and so he built a time machine. Went to the future. Fuck my daughter came back said, you eat my Chinese food. I went to the future. Fuck you. Do it. We're even now. I was like, no, and I ran to the time machine before he can get me. I went to the future, but he only has a son. Go back. So I fucking son song Go back to get revenge Where is it? A little bit before

What do you want when I tell my friend? Yeah, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back Please go, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back it? No, go back. Go back. Go back. Go back. Okay. Go back. Okay, listen. Okay, so he's pissed that he fucked his daughter. This is hilarious to me. Watch this. I fucking watch this 900 times. I don't even know what the fuck look at Sal. See, he runs into the time machine, which is just a room with a red light. And he can't open it.

Turn it up. Turn it up. Turn it up. Turn it up. Just a flashlight going up and down the door. The father's smoke. 2008. Look at this.

This is the best. Some guys. Turn it up. Look at this! This is the best! What's up guys? Jumped up. What you doing? I'm interviewing him. John seemed nervous that I have little...

...trib-seed. I've already been to the future and I'm like you I don't have a daughter. You're right. You don't have a daughter. You're right. You don't have to go. But you do have a son. Oh, God, but your son. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I fucked your son. Oh, Priavl, Craig and Mariki. Oh, fuck them. I fucked your son! I fucked your son! I fucked your son! Priavl, Craig and Mariki! Oh! Fuck them! How about that? You feel happy? You shouldn't have a daughter! No! I went into the future! And I fucking fucked your son! I fucked your son!

And he bought me bad! I think it's the first birthday. Chris is just gonna scream right around. Got it! I got it! the first birthday Christmas. It's a great year. Yeah, it's so good. It's so good. This is me. I fucked your son and you fucked me back. I sang that song for a month.

I was on the plane. I'm just how many? I'm like, I'm fucked. I'm fucked. I'm fucked. I'm fucked. I'm fucked. I'm fucked.

I fucked you turn. This is why I'm making you laugh. You turn cation. I'm gonna fuck my bag. I'm gonna fuck my bag. I'm gonna fuck you turn. This is why I'm making you laugh, you turn Cajun. I'm gonna lose. There you go. You slapped the bottom of your shoe. I don't know how physically whatever you did. You have, wow, I fucked your soul. I fucked your soul and fucked my bag.

And you were bopping. Oh, so God damn it, that makes me laugh. Oh, shit. I love that. I'm nursing. Oh, thank you, man. So good. So what do you got, man?

You got, I mean, sold out, sold out. I mean, do you need to promote? Sure. That's a gentle. This is all you guys are this. This is all this is me solo. Okay, check this out. Why do we take you on?

You're getting a lot of money. I'm going to get a lot of money. I'm going to get a lot of money. I'm going to get a lot of money. I'm going to get a lot of money. I'm going to get a lot of money. I'm going to get a lot of money. I'm going to get a lot of money. This is all you guys are So this is me so okay check this out. Why we take you on your gigs of sold out so take I want you to take I'll say one in particular natural just went on sale and KC and Alabama and oh the end of Wilbur in Boston. That's a big one So let's take all the other gigs down the sold out we're placing my games will put them on your website I'm so glad you're so good to have you on. I'm glad you, uh, thank you. I was such a blessing. The show. I get the baby. Yeah. It's great. I was so excited for the show. Um, what do you

got? What do you got? What do I got? Yeah, tell me. Do I have anything? I get the big guys just great show. I was so excited for the show. What do you got? What do you got? What do I got? Yeah, tell me. Do I have anything? I get the fact book. Oh, pussycat, pussycat. Is that all? Where am I? You're going to be at McWire's and governors.

Oh, nice. 20th, 29th. Yeah. I'm going to have spangfest before that. I just booked spangfest. And I just booked. I don't know. I can't announce it yet.

I don't know if I can't announce it. I got, I got, so I got two big things I'm announcing, hopefully next week. Two, one is something, I got two big things I can announce it. I can't announce it. It's going to be awesome. I'm fucking, it's something that I created a long time ago that I wanted to be somewhere and it becomes something and it died. And then

it came back and then it died again. And now it's actually come to fruition and it's everything I've wanted to be. And it's it's fucking awesome. And it's going to be a lot of fun, you know, and I can't wait to announce it. So it's coming up probably next week great But it's so that good was that it pets are my territory. I like it. It's kind of I'm really You know, I like create I've done all these things. I like making shit coming up in these shows I came up with a good show and now it's finally gonna come to fruition Which so I'm gonna be in Windsor in terry. Oh and musk and what is it musk and John Miss gig and yeah, it? Musk and John. Musk and then that's a good to grab a Kelly live.com. Gab, what do you got besides blonde hair?

That's true. I have a monthly show in Brooklyn called Jiggy with it at the way station. First Wednesday of every month. And I have a new podcast out called unabashed podcasts. I seen your stupid ads for it. I like it. They're fun, right? I do. You dummies in a tub. Yeah, you fold shit over Who is that with a pink tub? My friends act is a comic Zach senior. I like it. I kind of like it. It's it's annoyingly over the top Thank you. What do you got besides fucking silly lips? Oh

Thank you. I got my own podcast called a little time. I host it with my friend Diego and a couple of people have hit us up and said they listen to it from here. So thank you. Check it out. I love. So what I love if you guys if that's it. I love that's the only I want you guys to just support everybody on the show, especially the people that helped me put this show together. Support what they do if they're doing comedy somewhere, make sure you go and see him and support them. What do you got Mikey? I'll be at Lafayette Louds, Antonio, the last week of this month. I'm gonna send something terrible to you. I'm so glad I didn't say it. I'm gonna say, what do you got besides diabetes?

I'm gonna get him a hoodie. That's back in the day. I'm gonna get him a hoodie. I'm gonna get him a hoodie. He's so proud of me. It's gonna be my old one from 2017. But I'm gonna give you one. And you can listen to me and Zach on his trainers as well.

Yes, and Christie's over on the couch. Very funny guys, we're on my show a bunch of times. We're gonna get you on one of the Wednesday shows again. Oh, thank you, man. Surprisingly funny. Thanks, guys. I don't think it was when he found that. I'm DeGeney on and make sure to go to

Remember To Be Happy.com to grab Bobby's merch. Yep. And yeah, I got a podcast, men's fashion podcast, sub podcast. You can find that. Yeah, we got all these shirts up there right now. You got the YKWD logo on a hoodie and a shirt. You got the, the dude Buddha. I think we changed it to what the glass is to and then we got the, are the dudes. I have the bootish a lot of people want that we have

Ardvark Ardvark Ardvark. What's that? I'm on the right there. That's mine. Okay. Well, don't get that one. But get me that option. Get that with a mind. Are they all mates or what are Bobby? Do you have any here that I couldn't buy? No, we don't. These are all uh, made so we don't demand, right? What is it called? Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Directly. Who fucking she fear wants to push everybody to their limits. Oh, yeah, I just want to enjoy a fire and I'm 48. I just want to sit by a fire and smoke it's a gock and tell us in laugh. But Ari had literally is egging her on to just keep throwing logs into the fire. Of course.

And she's ripping them in so they're smashing. She's a firebug. She's a firebug. She's a firebug. And then she wants to put a whole bundle of logs in. And I'm like, no, don't do that. Don't do that. And then I just grabbed it and throws it in.

She's like, I love it. He used to set fires in the phone room at the comedy store in a little ship. Are you constantly? Really? Yeah. I was right. That's a problem.

I'm a larger problem. Bobby and my lads promote make dates. Yeah, we're going to you last. Oh, sorry. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we're going to you last going on. Shit, I sure don't know. This is the worst part about the internet. It was back in the day where you did that. Nobody would say anything about every reason they want to. He forgot her. That was him. That ain't good. He forgot. He's a fucking old fuck. What do you got? Yeah, but those are with Andrews. Don't promote those. What? Why just kidding? I just kidding. You murdering in front of him. I do and I love it work.

Is it hard to work? Is it hard to work? Is crowd? No, his crowds are phenomenal. And they are. They get rowdy like Thursday night at Macgubes. We were late. Yeah. So it was like a half hour of extra drinking for them and you can't give them that. Yeah. So that was a tough night. But you know, you get there, but then his crowds are phenomenal. Yeah. But I'm doing the comedy club in Kansas City, July 5th. That one. That's it. July 5th, 6 and 7th. That's a great weekend at life. It's an affordable July. Very exciting. That's a great week at lunch. It's an affordable. Very exciting. That's a great week. It's going to be packed.

People love going inside of a fourth of July. Hey, instead of going outside of a... Guys, put the fireworks down. Come on in. Hey, look guys, put that fire out. Get those hot dogs and hamburgers off that grill. We're going to go inside to this... I got an MADI in my ass. Come watch me. I don't work all.

And then Edmonton, the comic strip. I'm very excited about that. It's my first time there. Bring merch. I don't have any. We'll bring so many. I think that kid is not emailing me. You know, to go to oh, and listen to the Comedy Star podcast. I co-host that. Do you really? Yeah. And we're in Gingroom. Next time I'm in town. I'm here. I would love to have you on. I just did the comedy star podcast. I co-host that. Do you really? Yeah. And we're in gangroom. Like some of them in town. I mean, I would love to have you on. I just did the Liars Club. That was fun.

How was that? Great, right? But Jessica and Alicia both of them will find out. And what's the kid? Who's the kid with the hair? Shit, I forgot his name. Nice talking to Andrew. I love boy. I know. Is it Andrew?

I can't think. I know it. Walking. Yeah. Jeremy, are you from Maya? No. Jeremiah no both went there. Uh, fucking me. He's gonna be mad at me. Sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah. All right, Zach. Well, this has been a great podcast. You guys make sure what else do I have?

I'm forgetting that I'm gonna be like I forgot. And you can go aside from Ellen or nothing. Go ahead. Move on. I don't forget you. I made you laugh. Now we're gonna know. What else? Do the ad for our comedy seller, Riggas. Who's that you?

Me? Yeah. All right. Were you in the military? Stolen valor. I served. Yeah. And you're not gay.

You're stilly vowler from gay guys. I am. You're not gay, right? No. We have this conversation every week. But we were smashing him. We said yesterday, I said yesterday, he looks like wrong shirt. I can we look if Freddie Mercury lived for Mades.

That's what he looked like right now. Yeah. I don't know what stash he has today. That's good. I do more. I'm not today. I don't know. He gave me the old Mavirbi's furniture tree.

I know, that must have. He's a real one-page experiment. Zach, what do you got, baby? Zach, the new good. Patreon, we didn't do Patreon. You fucking cock suck a Michael. Sorry. I'm waiting for you.

Patreon.com sucks. The Robert Kelly, you get all these extras. $5, $10. When are we gonna have the new life from the shed up there? We gotta film it. We filmed it. No, no, no.

We're not doing it. We had a whole conversation. Oh, did we? I forget. I know. Okay, anyways, we're gonna do another one. Yeah. You gotta do one.

What's up? The life from the shed. I'm so fun. Oh, sure, I would love to. All right, good. Yeah, we'll have you in there. I don't do any jerking off in the shed. Don't worry about it. right good. Yeah, we'll have you in there I don't do any jerking off on the shed So look at me. I've never jerped off in my shed. Okay. Is that the cigar area? Yeah, there we are Jerk top in your shed. I did it one time, but I don't want to tell

Immediately out the window. You know one is it's like a row. She's got billions of times out the window. You know what one is? It's like a row. She's got billions of times. Yes. That's right. Zach, what do you got, baby? Zach, the new guys, too. You guys are the best fans ever. Thanks for listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. con volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca de la ciudad. En este momento, la región de Murcia no se ha estado tan cerca de la ciudad. Esa es una ciudad que se ha estado tan cerca de la ciudad. Esa es una ciudad que se ha estado tan cerca de la ciudad. Esa es una ciudad que se ha estado tan cerca de la ciudad.

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