Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Greek Don't Leak

Episode Date: May 29, 2017

This week on YKWD; Bobby Kelly unfortunately can't make it to the studio but Original Yannis Pappis takes over for as guest host! We have guests Chris Distefano, and Stavros Halkias on as guests as well! We get down to some hard hitting reasons to never get married and we get a surprise visit from Cipha Sounds and Liz! Watch/Listen/Share/Enjoy Dudes! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network Riotcast.com Welcome to the funniest podcast on the Planet Earth. This is going to be a claustrophic. It's podcast, it's no rule. I'm not going to do the mic asshole. I'm sure I've already said should I regret it. Can I get a mic? No, that's so f**k.

That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of eyes on. It's just us sitting down. Yeah. And sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's hilarious. Can I get a mic? That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of you guys on. It's just us sitting down, yeah. And sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's 10 no topics, no directions.

I love doing it. Side to the coin. The host, not you motherfucker. You want to do anything? My podcast is popular enough. I might affect some of these lines. You never know. It's Robert Kelly, so you know what to podcast on lightcast.com.

What's up everybody? It's Bobby Kelly. Bobby Kelly, everybody. How you doing? How's it going out there? Bobby Kelly got better looking at Greek and thinner. I'm right here, what are you talking about? There's the many me, Bobby Kelly.

I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I and thinner. I'm right here. What are you talking about? There's the mini-me, Bobby Kelly. Hello, everyone.

Stavros. No stranger to this show. No, although I haven't done the show in a while, then my father abandoned us. As soon as I get here. Yeah, no Bobby. I know. I know.

Unfortunately. I think it's better that way. You know what, you I just like you know it'd be come in here. This Chris the step He's very negative that is Chris the step it's not my aunt from Long Island Yeah, he's very you know, he puts a lot of pressure on you. He pulls you stupid sure. I fuck him Here to be here without a there's no way you'd be able to eat Especially the enemy's food. Yeah, yeah, come on dude like it's a real part don't eat my fucking table That's actually the reason he's not here is because it was an extra long line at Magnolia bakery So he's

Whatever excuse he's something with his he's a lot I can tell it's a lie I want to catch him in a bag lie I want to catch him in a bad I want to catch him in a bad Well given McCall I want to call I want to call that's good. He needs to I'm gonna act like my Puerto Rican girlfriend He needs to FaceTime me with his uncle To prove it and if he can't do it, then he's a fucking lie Shit, you know this is uncomfortable for me because I usually take the mic off Comment and I usually hold it and now I just have to move this thing. I was going to be hosted.

It's been a long time. It was about two of these guys ago. Yeah. Maybe I think Stavros was over there. I don't even remember. It was pre-DPU. Pre-DPU. Pre-DPU.

And last time I was here, I think this might have been had some post-DPU, right? Last time you were here. Yeah, but she's the last time I hosted. Oh, oh, last time I was here, I think this might have been had some post it was post depot right last time you hear no yeah, but the she's the last time I host Oh, oh last time I guess hosted it was pre Tim Dylan anyone even knowing who he was right so he wasn't Guessing so I was the only mediocre option to fill it yeah, why are you only person? The four after you get the host what's on me? I wasn't believing you. Yeah, what is gone bad? He's a resident believe in you. What is he? What is he? What is he? What is he?

What is he? What is he? What is he? What is he? What is he? What is he? What is he? What is he?

What is he? What is he? What is he? What is he? What is he? What is he? What is he? What is he?

What is he? What is he? What is he? What is he? What is he? What is he? What is he? like why the fuck are you hosting? Yeah. I was instantly offended. I was like, what? Does he know I'm here too? Does it even even matter? We're just all, it's just the seats we're sitting in. I can be doing this from over there to be honest with you. It doesn't matter.

I don't have to be sitting in the Darth Vader chair over here. Yeah. Yeah, I suspect. Get a better camera. Oh, I get the, oh, he's got the wide angle lens here. Yeah. The fisheye, the circular lens. You would have been pissed if this was two weeks ago and you were hosting with your hair

cut. Oh, yeah. Bad hair cut. Now your hair is growing in. Yeah. I probably didn't get that pilot because of the haircut. Oh, there's an officially enough. I haven't heard, but I assumed once I shot it, the hair was unacceptable.

Right. Yeah. By now. What was the pilot? It was, I can't talk about it on air. Okay. You do. You do. You do my mind didn't get picked up. Chris is a CBS. If you want to catch, yeah, you want to catch

Chrissy deal be overwalking in the ridge with me. Yeah, be a Bay Ridge and I'm back to fucking bananas coming. I'm gonna get a CBS show. So you probably would. But you probably would. Yeah, I like you can't afford to be. Yeah, she talking. Yeah, I know that she's back to the bananas and has for a guy. It's a great place. Great place. I don't know if I've ever got it full Enough of bananas where they were sitting up in the you know, there's like a elevated portion in the back I've never gotten it to where they've opened up the second part of the room

It's always like the smallest they can make it and I still don't sell out Do they do like conferences in there during the week? Yeah, it's in a hotel. It's in a hotel. Yeah, it's in a hotel and then, you know, they put up real bananas behind you. Yeah, they do keep bananas everywhere. Banana everywhere. Cardboard bananas as well.

So no one's ever, everyone's been no fuck while I'm really blowing it. No, no. You should have really hosted this. I think we've been cooking with gasoline right now So they don't put a What's my look at really blowing how to speak? Yeah

What potassium it makes you Oh my god I doubled back down into a mediocre joke Sorry everyone He's definitely no Bobby's definitely not in the bad but he's probably watching with this uncle right now Yeah, hey uncle. This is what I do for a living. What's his uncle's name? Yeah Come on Bobby. It's gotta be Sean Sean Kelly. Hey, do a Bobby. I mean town. Yeah, are you fucking around?

Maybe we'll go get some my fucking beer around kid. Maybe we'll go get some my fucking beer. I came from Wister will sit at the pier. He had on the early train, but he's not going to pick up. So you know, we got yeah, it's Chris's, it's definitely in Stavros or you're everyone. Do you go with your last name? Yeah, you do. Stavros, how cute. You go how it gets. Yep. Um, do you feel like it's, you get scared because it's a, people don't know how to pronounce it. How many times is your name been fucked up? Every single time anyone's ever said it on stage, it's been fucked up. I don't think anyone's gotten it right. What's an example of how they do it?

I don't even get that. Have you ever done a black shot? Yes, I have. They, they don't even, they mess it up even if your name's Joe Smith. Yeah. Doesn't matter if you're white, they just, I give it up for Tim, give it up for white Tim. Yeah.

Give it up for next white ass motherfucker. Give it up for Christal. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Charlie Murphy could not say my name right. No, he just could not. Janou's that's what he called me Yannou's

They just can't get it like Are your parents your parents are both from Greece? Yeah, yes, I'm a first-generation immigrant Wow, yep, yep. Is your dad a painter owns a diner. He is a carpenter Carpe, hey, I'm aainer adjacent. Yeah, that's right. And he built every diner in Baltimore. He has built the tables for. That's inter-greek community network. Absolutely, that's all it is.

Does he smoke cigarettes? No, just eats like an animal. Well, yeah. We knew that. Is that a big Greek population? That didn't come out of nowhere. Who's inherited? Yeah, there's Greek town.

There's Greeks. Big time Greeks. Yeah, there's Greek town. There's Greeks. Big time Greeks. Yeah, and I did Mugube's and guess who's on the wall is winning the Baltimore's newest funniest comic. Oh, yeah. Oh, you're saying right next to a boy. That's your height. Fuck yeah.

Baltimore's top new comic, 2008. Two, three. You had a little more peach buzz then. A little more buzz. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's going. A little comedy since 2008. No, I Yeah. It's going to comedy since 2008 No, I lied it was 2011. I think oh, yeah, yeah, you're like what how old I'm 28

You look younger you do thank you Greek don't Greek only Well now that you're sick I've got canceled yeah, I'm hosting. I think his credit is the biggest one in the room. 100% new. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, crushing in Tommonia. Oh, yeah, baby. Yeah, now Lauren's bumped up to you sitting in a guest seat. Yeah, welcome. Yeah, we're gonna hear a little bit more from you. Are we? Because you know how the fans of this show are really, really, really upset. There's not more female voices on the show. There's such a progressive audience that listen to this. They always want to bobby. All the feminist hates me.

There's so many feminists that tweeted me when I'm on this show. Oh really? I'm being completely sarcastic. It sounds like it's an issue for Lauren over here. Well I always agree with everyone in the room. Oh right. And every leader of people please are. Yeah 100%.

Yep. You do great. You're a Saudi Arabia. Oh yeah. Yeah. You just go with the flow. All right. And every people please are. Yeah. 100%. Yep. You do great. You do great. You're a Saudi Arabia. Oh yeah.

Yeah. You just go with the flow. Yeah. I don't get any feminist tweet at me when I do the show. I get guys go, hey, you liberal faggot. Right. You're a liberal faggot. Yeah, on his papers.

People, that's what Bernie made off said. He's a big, I just watched the Wizard of Lies. And Bernie made off's main thing was he was saying that he was a people pleaser. That's what got him and probably want everyone to be happy. Well, he's just stole from that. Yeah, but the Ponzi scheme was when you broke it down for me yesterday and then that's exactly what Bernie made off did is he would just take your fucking money and then use it and then wait for the next person to drop.

Yo, we had guys giving them $600 million in a check. Like that, take it, cause he actually like, you actually gotta tip your hat to a guy who steals that much money for that long. Yeah, it's impressive. That is impressive. Yeah, that's like, he's just in jail now forever. For 150 years, his best friend is a Carmine Perseco,

old-school mob boss of, um, forgot. Oh, no, that's unacceptable for an Italian not to know exactly who that is. I forgot what family it was. Yeah. For the other Italian just trying to shoot that. Yeah. Yeah. We off the workout. I know.

Is this dad in the mafia? It's good. Wizard of lies is good. I'd suggest. Wizard of lies. Wizard of lies. So is Chris the Stefano kind of like your perfect ideal? I've dated my Guitos.

Yeah. And you're not a Guitos. Now, I have a very Italian last name. But then I like, I'm not, I know like history, I like a lot of history. I love going on tours. Like I like, you know. He's actually really smart, you're really smart.

But coming out of that look, it's just always weird. Like I do history, I do history, I do ranges jerseys, and I'm a big fan of documentaries on Netflix. I like to, I know every stay cap at all Now I've gotten much dumber I used to be smart and then I started doing We are Yeah, yeah, there's only one guest on now You would be gone by now

We have to we may have to sub in the fan that's it It's like three empty seats. This is like doing a podcast after Katrina or something. Let's bark in guests Oh What's your name, buddy? Yeah, Gary. Gary. Half Greek, half Italian? Yeah, but I don't have a, I have a,

Dorzano's my last name, but the Greek side is not very. So the mother side is Greek. Yeah, but the Greek side is not very Italian. It's Malice. Okay. Oh, this is Greek though. Yeah, that's right. It's not, you know, Greeks would know that's Greek.

Yeah. America may know. Yeah. We knew that was Greek. We knew right away. We're Greek is, we knew that was great. Oh, we knew right away Greek is fun We're like real Greek a F. Yeah, I could tell from the names. Yeah Plus we got like parents born there and stuff my did yeah, it doesn't speak English. Oh, yeah So he doesn't even understand your career. Absolutely. He has no idea what you're doing I went to Greece and tried to explain what stand-up comedy was there was like I just quit just do. You have a job. Yeah, I'm an actor. So you have a

job. So it's a job. You make it money. It's like, no, you know, sometimes you do some so it's not a job. Yeah. They want you to live in Greece. No, my dad wants me to live in his home until I'm married. He wants you. That's the Greek way. You go from your mother doing all your chores to your wife doing all your chores. Or to your mother and wife doing all your chores. Yeah. Well, they're both miserable together that kitchen. They can have a better life. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, do you both only date Greek girls? No, my girlfriend's the only Greek girl I've ever dated

Oh really? She's half Greek half Italian because it's probably your cousin here spying on me right now Go go go look at what he's doing follow him around say you're a fan of the show See if him and Chris to go to this base time you're there Basically, everyone Let me see this Laura bitch Close to she's like a real dirty hoe. Let me see that, chick. First Greek girlfriend.

I've never dated a Greek girl either. It's all, no, no. All whiteies. Wow. I'm dating my first Jew. Oh, yeah. Who are you dating? You know.

I know. You guys are dating now? Yeah. So it's not a secret we could talk about it. No. We're not going to talk about it. Did he make you pledge your allegiance to libertarianism? Well, everyone knows yeah

You're right now for the exact You got to bow down to the author of Paul Here's a book I want you to read Before we get back. I love Ron Paul. Yeah, free market, okay? So this is how this relationship is going to work. There's no rules, all right? Just listen to me. If you use this regulation, if someone better comes along, then that's what the market's

merit. That's what the market is, okay? I understand I'm not the most famous. I'm tall, I'm friends with Louis J. Gomez. That bumps me down like three. But I'm also, I've been on Fox News a bunch of times. So I'm back at like an eight. Yeah.

But you know, the market is what the market is. Exactly. She's dating Tim Dylan. Everyone knows that. It's actually funny, Jack. I might put that up stage. Yeah, it's pretty good. A libertarian dating somewhere.

Yeah, look, there's no rules here. It's a Italian life, yeah. So he's a Jew, but he's not, he grew up in Park Slope. He grew up in Park Slope. Oh, so he's not like you. Yeah. I know that. Jew mother fuck. No, no, no, no. She went from a, she went from, I went from Ronnie. That's a boyfriend, Dave Smith. She went from like a prison guard warden. I did. Yeah. Dave Smith. She was married to like a prison guard. Probably used to like abuse prisoners. They're so good New York.

Dave's like, I like the good guy, New York guy, very, no smart guy, very smart, very light and guy. Yeah. You know, he can go on a rant where he needs to get fucking smack. But like, that's every guy, like that's every smart guy. You know, they all like, you know, you pop, you go, you get a little mouthy. But, you know, he's, I overall, I would be very comfortable

with my sister dating Dave Smith. I like Dave Smith a lot. Yeah. Oh, really like him a lot. Thanks, cousin. Yeah, yeah. No problem. You give him a little ball tap, right?

What's up, Dave? Take care of my sister, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's good for weekend, you know. When he starts going on about, you know, where the world is politically, it's like, I shut the fuck up. You know, when he starts going on about, you know, where the world is politically, it's like, I shut the fuck up. We got the nicks on. We're grilling shit. I don't want to hear your thoughts on fucking gluten. How that's affecting politics. I don't need how long now.

Since like January. Oh, it's good, man. Yeah, because you guys showed up together at the stand the other night. And I was like, Oh, no, it's now it's odd. It's odd. No, it's on. Yeah, two comments that always works great. Oh, it's going to be great. I'm marrying Bobby. Bobby can't wait to listen. Yeah, everyone, everyone in this room has some great experiences. Yeah, yeah. So dating to meet and it's great. Straight on Twitter too. No, it's great. you know, it's great when you go to podcasts and everyone knows the other person Yeah, my favorite part about dating a comic is when you get booed at venues She tweeted you about and then you get booed walking into the thing that you sacrificed your life Thousand followers and she decided to tweet something. No, that's the best part of it.

Did you ever talk about that on here? No. Can we talk about it a little bit? No. No, for what? I mean, it's years ago. It's just fucking, you know, who's that aspect of it? That's tough.

Yeah, but that's just, you know, that's tough. What are you gonna do? You know, fucking, it makes you better. I think we feel like you know, you're dating comic and then you can get chuckles in that situation. You can turn that around. Oh my god. Yeah. I'll say. The comic makes it a very easy life. It's like easy. You don't have to explain anything. You know, you get each other busy. Yeah, that's how it's. Yeah, and told you know, somebody's, you know,

until fucking Norton asked you to open for. And then you can't be around, and then you have to start checking guys off the list. You're all the sudden then, David doesn't want you around anymore. So it's like, oh, come on. Yeah. You know, that's what's gonna happen. It starts, wow, our schedules are the same. We know all the same people.

Yeah. When I'm out doing spots, you could just come with me. You know, it's like we can spend time. Uh-huh. That's how it starts. But, you know just come with me. You know, like, it's like we can spend time. Uh-huh. Man. That's how it starts. But, you know, what, January, what, what is it now? How's your husband's name?

You may. Yeah, a few months. It'll be all right. Your little prenup show takes off. Yeah. Up at Stanton, New York, all the divorce days they're coming out, you know, stab and fucking cakes. It goes, yeah.

Stab and cape meme that blows up. Yeah. You leave him. Ooh. For, yeah., who's gonna leave him for Beautiful girl like that you would leave him to be big who It's gonna be a comic it's gonna be big. I might be an athlete bigger than Will sass Yeah, no, there's somebody yeah somebody with better credits, but Dave's on his way up.

He's already doing shit. Yeah, he's doing shit. Dave already does a fucking ton of shit. All you got to do nowadays is the podcast. Dave's on more tickets than I do. Yeah. I mean, a podcast really means more than a TV show. 100%.

Yeah, I guarantee I've been on 10 TV shows and I couldn't sell half the tickets to Legion's of Skanks could sell. I know. Those guys are probably, you know, they sell way more tickets. Yeah, but at least you don't have to worry about anyone coming to see you who might have killed their parents. That's true. That's true. That's true.

There's a good chance that those guys might have to be testifying. Like, no, we did not influence that kid. We don't like the Maryland Manson of the podcast. Yeah, at least I don't have to, I don't have to be forced to do shows. And the guy calls himself the Puerto Rican Grandel. At least I can just do comedy on my home. Yeah. Oh, but you were no chokehold.

Oh, man. Yeah, somebody's definitely going to kill their parents who listen to that. But I just don't know. Legion is gang tattoo right on his forehead. You know, really going to draw on his mom's face. Yeah, someone had off 100 someone wants to make a shirt out of Lewis's skin. Someone out there, definitely. Yeah, James is a kid. Yeah, yeah.

Probably James's mother. Yeah. I was on an episode of Legion of Skanks, they named the episode to rape a retard. Jesus Christ. That's just a sweet. You put my name in the to rape a retard. Geez. That's just a sweet. You put my name in the old YouTube. Yeah, I can tell you the number one reason you didn't get the pilot. Yeah, I don't believe that.

It's Google that. Oh, what, what, Yannis's name on? Oh, this is a fun clip of me doing stand up. Oh, there's more reason and then to rape a retard. That's, that's where it comes from. Yannis are really looking for mainstream success. They really are That's that's where it comes on. It's their. They're really looking for mainstream success. They really are.

Yeah. I'd rather live in the world of comedy this way. We can make our own stuff. Oh, yes. And do it that way. And I have to listen to like, you know, I mean, executives and those people always control something. But I mean, looking at how many people make a living on they've never done TV or they've

never even had to think about doing TV or they can do the whole thing off of podcasts. Yeah, look at Bobby. Bobby so big he doesn't even show up. He doesn't show up. Yeah, he can make up an imaginary uncle. He built a fucking wheel for his son. And he's now only got stuck in the fucking. No, no, no, no.

He does like to build that kid. No, he's a little pirate ship. Yeah, he's phenomenal, Bobby, with the stuff he can build in the backyard for it. And he said he just YouTubes it, but I don't know that's why I was skill. No, I think some got some guys are handy like that That's what saying he's got a skill like I could YouTube how to build a pirate ship from my kid and not be able to do it You don't have that in you. No, you're too much of a brainiac. Yeah, I don't overthink it. Yeah, you just don't have it Yeah, I think about like emotionally how my daughter being in a pirate ship would affect This is the right signal to send. Is it a crazy, some guys are just born with the ability to just, like, it's just, they're

naturals at it. They can look at something and just put it together. Yeah, well, it's how their mind works. Like, I grew up, I was raised by my mother, so she didn't know how to fix anything. So then, therefore, I didn't know how to fix anything. But if my dad, and my dad didn't know how to fix anything so then therefore I didn't know how to fix anything Yeah, but if my dad and my dad to know what to fix anything either but my grandpa who died when I was like 10 Could I'm sorry who died when my father was 10 so I never met him could fix air and do anything scratch So I get a race to learn yeah, yeah, my don't need to do it. Yeah, it's weird because my ex-husband was the corrections officer

But he couldn't do anything like he couldn't Like tammer nail in the wall or like fucking... You couldn't pretend it was just a black ice head. I can't. I can't. I can't. The face all day. I was kind of scared.

Tap into that police training. Is he still... Are you guys on good terms or how's it? Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. We ended. Do you guys have a kid? No.

Oh, okay. Clean break. He may never... He may never... He may never even own a never Said again. I don't have to see him ever again. Look you may never potentially see this guy again You remember how many years I was with him for 10 years. How long was it not working though? How many years over it was over for two years? She started coming on this podcast I had a feeling once he became a corrections officer really. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah It makes you into like hard right yeah, yeah, and it makes, yeah, it's already good. Yeah, yeah, it makes you into like hard, right? Yeah, yeah, and it makes you like he made it got him like real like weirdly serious about like weird things and like

He was just like really lazy person too. Did you not want to be married anymore though too? Was that part of it a little bit a little bit because I think I had been with him since I was 18 and I Really live and I think that it's a lot to say what someone Your friends and shock like they thought you two would be together forever Yeah, for sure and you didn't have any problems that people noticed yeah, I don't like put things out public like I we weren't like Yeah, happy per peak couple on like Facebook and all that it came out of nowhere Yeah, I came out of nowhere, but getting on this podcast was the beginning of your like living it upstage wasn't it? Uh, yeah, because I started to live my own life for the first time. It's hard to

Go out you're stuck in Down you can't be 18 to go for the dick you got to clean off that marriage He moved out it was game on but then I come down. Yeah So let's meet our guest over here. He's half Greek half Italian. He listens to This podcast a lot said you know who we are No You know this guy from OP OP show or from this from just from stand just from that Yeah, generally being more famous than I yeah

Just from yeah, and you and you were you a one or two. Why isn't he hosting the show? You're like, you're like, this is freak fucking monkey. So do you listen to the show? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I this show, this show. Yeah. Then how the fuck don't you know who I am? You're on in frequently. Have we? Let me ask you could be a real simple answer. Actually, yeah.

Weird is this era that there's just a guy who shows up and it's like hey I'm a fan can I come in sit in a room with you guys alone? Yeah, I'm a check if this guy's got a knife. No, I do it. It's a whole process. Oh really? Oh really you check. Yeah Wow, he could be anybody he could just be a dude who's looking for your promise stay warm I felt copy of their license. Oh look at this and then you do and then you go to the ex-husband to run it Down I will say though. I still have the shields of my car. That's the only thing I got. Oh, yeah Only one parking is brutal and bad I know I got every ticket

Wow, they just look at they don't even look at me. They just look at the thing and walk away. Yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So where are you from, man? I grew up in Staten Island, but now I was out of town. Staten Island. He grew up in Staten Island. Also, he came all the way from Long Island.

No, I work in Manhattan. OK. When you're from Staten Island, it's one word. Staten Island. I'm from Staten Island. My father lives on Staten Island. My father's a cop. New dog son.

My dog's a garbage worker. My mother's teacher. My father's a fireman. My grandfather's a garbage worker my mother's is teacher my father's a fireman my grandfather's a cop my uncle my granddaughter family a civil service no no no no money oh my dear sanitation Okay, sanitation. Yeah. Oh, it's all fucking double headbears. How fucking crazy is it going?

It's across eight. Not bloodbears with a Z. It's across. Do you guys know, it costs $18 to get into Staten Island? Yes, I'm a bridge. That's so wild. They should be fucking paying people $18 to go to Staten Island. And they said that they were only going to charge people,

stand out in residence, and anybody who lived in New York or wants to cross that bridge, they're only gonna charge them the cost of the fee to what it costs to make the bridge. So that was passed like 30 years, I mean, they built the bridge in the 60s. So like, it's been paid off, but they make so much fucking money off that they probably,

I bet you the city of New York makes hundreds of millions of dollars off that bridge. 18 dollars. They charge you that way, but they don't charge you to leave. No. Why would you, yeah, it should be the opposite. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Like if you want people visiting in Staten Island, you don't want to charge the bridge. Isn't the George Washington bridge only 15? Yeah. But if you're a Staten Island you don't want to charge the George Washington bridge only 15 yeah, but if you're a statin on resident I think it's $5 or something right way cheaper. Yeah, if you have the easy pass is cheaper. Yeah, not five. I think it's like if you have the easy pass. Yeah, if you have an easy pass and you're from stand on the edges, you have a statin like my father's easy pass. That's the easy pass I have, but I mean, I you know, I use it everywhere. I's the easy pass I have. But I mean, I, you know, I, I, I, use it everywhere.

I just, I, I pay the bills, but it's in his, it's, his address easy pass. Right. So it's easy. So I, every time I go over that bridge, I'm good. So it's easy. Yeah. There you go.

You see what I, you see fucking, you're a Dave are gonna have a show. And you said you were smart. Come on. I'm getting pretty smart. I've been reading up. Yeah. So big news.

We got to talk about it obviously. Manchester. Oh, okay. I thought I thought it was comedy news. No, no, no. Manchester. Yeah, that's normal. Harp.

It's like you can't. And then, you know, people are like, oh, they need metal metal detectors. And like right away, it's new. It's like, no, of course, it's not people are like, oh, they need metal metal detectors. And like right away, it's new. It's like, no, of course it's not from inside the stadium. They wait till they come out. And then you can't stop people from walking up. I mean, it's gonna have to get to the point where you cannot, unless you have a ticket, you cannot get anywhere near.

The, like you know, barricaded off for like three blocks, millimeters. Is that what happened? It was outside the stadium. As soon as people were letting out, as soon as that last song let out, the scumbag waited for all the people to start coming out and then detonated in the middle of like a crowd trying to get through, you know trying to leave. Yeah, so 22 year old kid. What are you accomplished? What do you what do you and killed kids? Most of them are kids. One kid was eight years old. Yeah, but more and more more children are missing. They said. Yeah, pieces. Larifying. What is it? What is it? I think he's accomplishing by doing that.

I mean, it's like, well, they think that they're going, they think that we're in enemy and the Western world in enemy. And they think that they're that God's telling them or Allah's telling to do that and they're going to be rewarded with virgins. You know, and it was also that's going to be real disappointing. Yeah. Oh, shit. Just goes dark. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. There's nothing. Just goes dark. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah.

There's nothing. No pussy waiting for me. Oh, you know what? Or it sucks that, you know, when you, I always thought like when they blow themselves up, what if that all that shoot is true, but they go into their heaven or whatever it is, as the version of themselves that dies.

So this guy's just a fucking torso. You know, dick. And then he's like, I got all these versions. And I just got, I'm just a torso. I thought about that. Or even if he goes whole body, but he's still in the fucking scrangle-looking Middle Eastern guy always was. And nobody wants to fuck him.

Look at Liz. Press it! Come on, look at that. I mean, it sounds, come on. Yes, so it's not all wise sounds without his glasses We saw you downstairs on your computer doing your taxes Yeah, yeah, we're just yeah, we're just talking I list I'm yana's we were talking about I'm the only one here not pass at the comedy seller You will be I'm not pass not after

He's hosting the show now that's his credit. Yeah, he hosts. You know what dude. I think even Lauren works there now que se lo ha pasado. con volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca, espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincindia aventuras desesperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de madrida murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea, carifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. So you guys walked in right at a great moment, what were we talking about? Manchester.

Yesterday, what happened? It was that really serious. Were you coming in like, hi! Hi guys, what's up? We're back! Jesus Christ. Sorry. You came in read it in nice

Eating in here Chris. Yeah, is that not allowed? You know you know Bobby's watching right now. You're not allowed to eat Well, it's fucking Bobby canceled Bobby a band before if Bobby I was already I can't eat in here. Well if Bobby should be here to tell me that Well Bobby should be here now with his uncle. I'm telling you Chris. I'm done eating. She could She'll be given to the guest. No, put it away. Cap it up, baby. Lauren forgot to tell him to do Busy salivating looking at him. She's a guy. No, she's a day smim. Yeah, but she can't she can't resist a good Guido face. Yeah, I just have that.

I'm like last name to Stefano with that yeah with that gel double I like olive oil hair dust This guy gets into a fight not one strand on his head moves. Oh Stays in place he walks right on the cream shirt off hair in place So now we got now it's back to the old Podcast when there was 18 guests, yeah, And we could all talk over each other now. Good old days. The good old days. Beautiful.

Yeah. Yeah. Who we have? Why are you here so early, Saifa? Well, I've been posting up at the seller lately. You worked here. I've been using the seller as my office. Really?

Yeah. Think about it as quiet in the daytime. Uh huh. It was food. You know what I'm saying? I got the Wi-Fi password to the good Wi-Fi. You know what I'm saying? That's your last chance. You won the customers. You know what I'm saying? Yeah got the Wi-Fi password to the good Wi-Fi. You know what I'm saying? That's a shame.

You want the customers to come and say, yeah, I'm just in there working. Yeah, and they see you more, maybe you'll get more spots. Is that what that's with the main reason? It's a feeling, oh, I'm gonna come and work it, come, suck it up. Now I'm gonna get the Saturday ship.

No, you're not. No! Are you kidding? Or they could do a weekday breakfast show? The brunch show cypher runs is Fantastic. I was just got my sponsor. I got I'm on it again. I'm looking forward to it. Yeah I eat the Nutella French toast champagne

That I got fucking whack I met up with you at that yonness met up with with us who wanted a frying pan got fucking whacked over there We did and champagne wasted here. Let me tell you that you got recognized It's so funny when you get recognized. Why because the girls pretend you know when girls like they're like They want to pretend like they don't know you with the DNA Wait a second. I know you're from somewhere I know that one girl can much like aren't you from like the guy co-comer shows? Are you are you from the guy go-go?

No, what happened was one of her friends they sent me a message on Instagram telling me the whole story I was like this fucking riveting and I was like I have to delete this immediately You go say no you go say so I'll fucking do it. I don't give a shit. I'll go. And you're from Guy Co. They're so phony because they, they're, I guess they were talking one of the girls recognize me from Guy Code.

The show on MTV too. And one of the other girls, like came up to, she's like, I know you, because you're from the Guy Code commercials and I think you're cool. I'm like, I'm not. You think they said Guy Code. Yeah.

You're friends. You're from the whole idea who I am. You have no fucking clue. I'm like I'm not you think they said guy I Bloody Mary's and the Moses of flow I can't even host a YKWD Thing Recognizing you all I get is rapper dude yo, what's up man? Where you gonna play my album? What's up, man? Yo, yo, yo, yo, son, yo, son, my cousin rap.

Yo, I listen to you every morning. Yo, let me spiff you right here. Let me spit. Let me drop. Let me drop. Yo, you inspired me to take my game to another level. What do you do now? I work at Naifens. Yo, they're like, yo, I listen to you every morning. I said, I haven't been on the radio for two years. What? I just heard you though I didn't You get guys trying to drop bars for you like right in front of you. I'll listen if I pull out my DM right now

It's all rappers. They write about transcribe rhymes. Yes No rappers they write about transcribed rhymes yes Yeah, I guess no The M is for bitches. Yeah, I'm sorry those I don't even I don't even I'm not look I'm married. I'm not gonna mess with no the bitch. Yeah Well, I just want to lease somebody to throw me some non DM. Yeah I'm so titty pick. That's all you want.. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it.

I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it.

I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it.

I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I that's what it is. I post I Feel like I don't know it's it's a lot less. Yeah, I mean once in a while. I get a lot of gay dudes Same you get a lot yeah when I was doing my for my Instagram got banned Are you up your cup? I'm a cup 100% a cup Before my Instagram got banned it was nothing but like and like weird like Arab dudes from like who lived overseas trying to fuck me. It was incredible. It was just they would call me handsome. It felt nice.

I feel like those are probably ISIS recruited. I'm probably just kidding. You're a taken. Are you officially a cub or is there like you could be another category like a char up? I'm a chair of my own category. Yeah, yeah. Growing men that look like babies. Well, you're not gay. Are you gay? No, no, no. He's Greek though. So if we're pretty comfortable with it. Yeah. Yeah. If we went to jail, it would come natural.

Right. Yeah. I do what I do. I love it. They're lovers. Right. Absolutely. Yeah. No, I would get I would just get old men trying to fuck me. And the occasional woman with, I don't know, who had a fat uncle that molested them or something. I don't know what it was, but that was the 100% the demographic. I have been getting some titties recently.

I don't know what you're talking about. I think Comtown, thank you so much. I think it's a success of Comtown. Thank you. You guys doing good. Nice plug there by the way. Yeah, yeah, just next to Comtown. Well, it's on iTunes and also Patreon if you want to be a premium subscriber.

What do you get as a premium subscriber? You get access to an extra episode every week. So that's double the Comtown, double double the come and a video of you blowing Mateo Lane. Yeah, and me and the day of the behind the scenes. Oh, man. He's ripping. How is he so He won't stop letting us know about it. Yeah, I mean, I don't think I've seen one picture of it with him with a shirt. I Support it. Yeah, I some do a spot with no shirt on the other day really? Why don't you text me cuz yeah? I told you to send me the video I fight a body like that. I wouldn't put a shirt on it.

Not for his body's insane. Yeah, he's never fallen. I fall on my Instagram. Oh, yeah, I fall on the floor. He's just shirt is off. He's like he just beat a restaurant. Yeah, and then he's always speaking Italian. He's like, ah, I'm kidding. Shut up. Shut up.

Shut up. But keep your shirt off. Yeah. If he wasn't like a comedian, like he would be like an A list gay. He's the end list. He's the gay comedian now. Like guarantee you that he's gonna fuck Andy Cohen

at some point or Anderson. Yeah. Anderson, maybe Anderson. And who's the bigger get? Who's the more top shelf get? Anderson. Anderson. He's got a get who's a more top shelf get Top one They're besties I think they are and vacation together What's in your DM

To get dates to comedian is a post Now I got to fucking beat out Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen. No, sit there and say that. Don't say you're like, what are you talking about? So hard to get a date. Are you kidding me? Bro, I'm saying if he said that, I'd be like, I feel you brother. You have no struggle with that. Oh, I'm talking about women. I'm talking about comedy. For his. No, I'm talking about women. I'm talking about comedy shows. For him. No, I'm talking about girls. I'm talking about comedy. I'm talking about comedy. But they're not even comedy.

Yes, they are. But they sell out. It's a comedy. Yeah. That's what I talk. Yeah, but it's a talk and people think they're getting. It's trailing out that already improv. It's treated as like a type of comedy show where like to a booker.

It's like a comedy variety show. It's in the same category. What fun is Anderson Cooper, you know, for two hours. They're not fun people. They're not. They're nerds. That's what it is. It's not your audience.

You would never have Anderson Cooper's audience. I know you're saying, Chris. And I'm with you. But look, I respect them because they're not. They're not. I respect them. Anderson Cooper's not playing the chuckle hut With but you know who is wrestlers. Why are wrestlers doing that wrestlers the community wrestlers just

You guys comedians are not even as bad as as DJs. There's this new thing called celebrity DJs that you no I'm a real DJ There's celebrity to be a celebrity DJ there's celebrity that happens to be a celebrity Exactly, but now there's all these celebrities actors who want to be DJs It's the deal they take all the gig that's because we live at a time where there nobody really has to work a real job anymore Everyone's just like trying to get attention and be like I'm got something to say read my shit I'm a photographer who writes a blog Yeah, I'm a photographer who writes a blog. Oh shit, you're fucking salty.

I got a Terrell bang, that's it. He's a great artist. Yeah, okay. I just didn't understand it. No, no, no, no, I'm gonna text them. I just didn't understand. That's what happens. I got lost in it.

You know what this business is? You know what this business is? I'll tell you exactly what this is. Great guy, love. This is a great. What we do when you're good at it, and I'm not putting myself in that category, when you're really good at it, it looks so easy

and so effortless that people like I could do that, anybody can do that. And then they start to do that, and then it's like, it's pretty bad. You know, so that's what happened there. Like he's like, I can fucking do this. I can write. Really?

Okay. What are we talking about exactly? I don't think anyone else knows. We can't get into it. I mean, you're totally saying what it is. We all know why you're talking about. It's even while that I said it. But what you know what? You're already in Bobby. I did it. No, we don't. I'm not even here. Yeah. If you're going to say it, just fucking say it. I got to check. I got to do it personally. I just felt like it was It just I don't know it was weird. I couldn't follow it. It's not that it was weird It was I couldn't simultaneously praising you and then taking jams at you. It was strange

You didn't even read the whole thing. You don't know that I was distracted reading I was reading it with my kid at the my kid almost fell off a fucking swing I'm trying to read it. He didn't take jabs. I wouldn't say that. He's a great guy and like, you know, he's a good guy. I just think it was, it was confusing. Like I didn't, I couldn't follow it. It was kind of disjointed and unorganized. Like I just didn't even know what to be saying.

But it's a blog, so it doesn't have to be like an actual article. It can just be like, it's a blog. Yeah, you could sort of get away with that because it's a blog, right? Yeah, but the problem is like, you know, when people Google your name now,

that kind of comes up and I read you yeah it's about me you look good in the photos except the one except one 40 photos look too big that's your only photo I had a clown shoes it was weird I my hair is not good either but that's fun that's what we'll all pick out like you'll be so happy that's another yeah but look at your left shoe then you'll obsess over that for years. Remember the good old days when you grew up with friends and you would name him the worst quality that he had?

Yeah, yeah. Of course. You're firm, firm, firm, firm. Yeah. Because he looked like a fucking worm. My friend Chad, we had big head, we'd call him Chad the head. Chad the head. You should get a new slowly pop.

Yep. Now you're getting trumble for that. You can't do that. Groups of kids do not do that. I can't do that. You don't think so? No. You think it's any fat bill?

Like my friend Bill, he had a cousin named Bill and he was fat. So he was all, he was fat Bill. Dude, my steps on his six years old, I went to a birthday party last year. You know, one of his classmates where they blew out candles on an iPad because they, they, they, they weren't sure what children, you know, if it was everyone's custom to blow on actually one day candles and be around firing racks. I didn't want to another one of his parties

where all the kids were naked. They were fired. They were naked. You encouraged taking clothes off. Let's just do it. Let's go. Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump. Wait, what do you mean they were naked?

Who was hosting the party? One of the parents at the school. What's the background check on this guy? Dave Smith's from party. They're fucking weirdo. I'm fucking. And we went up to the party. It was on Roof Deck somewhere.

So I'm like, sit luxury building. And the, we go up and I see a kid naked. I'm like, all right, bro. Little, little butt naked. And I'm like, all right, whatever. Like, you know, kids go crazy. I thought maybe that's special needs. Honestly. I'm like, all right, but naked. And I'm like, all right, whatever. Like, you know, kids go crazy. I thought maybe a special needs. Honestly, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was serious. I was like, I was like, I was like, maybe special needs or something like that. And whatever I've worked with children like that,

I understand. I can't see if they'd be special. You need to have me close on it. Because the only other experience I have with children who are five years old or older ripping off their clothes and running out in public are the children I used to work with, it's special needs, who would just have sensory problems. I'd be like, I'm going to rip my clothes off and it's like, okay, we have to deal with that. Sure, to see a cognitively normal five-year-old with his clothes off, asking my steps on the play with toys was weird. And then I was like, what is going on to another parent who wasn't from,

who was originally from New York who didn't, you know, who wasn't a hipster gentrified parent. And they're like, I'm gonna leave this party in about five minutes. I'm only this party in five seconds. Right. This kid has fucking peeps. I was like, on that, and then we left. And then I told, you know, his mom, and I was like, what, this is why we're back. And she was like, on that, and then we left. And then I told his mom, and I was like,

what, this is why we're back. And she was like, I'm gonna train. And then we left, we now move to Bay Ridge, where it's, he goes school with normal children. Normal kids where we have birthday parties with candles, you have all different races. You know, there was one kid in Tristan's, my stepson's class, his name was leopard.

What? That was his name, leopard that was his name leopard this is parents like musicians or something they they believe they they conceived him at some somewhere personality of people in the area they're all like they're all they're hipsters they're all like you know that they don't do that because that would be otherizing people Lepard that name is spot on man He asked for his own setup. Here's like I got this one cannot go to waste We can't lose spot on. We're about to bring it up. I see you run that the fuck back. Hold on, that was in the office in the comedy show.

It's working. Yeah, yeah. Extra spot for you, sir. No. I would have stayed at that party though. Yeah, I do. It was weird, but that's the society we live in, man. It's different people.

We're around different. Where are the outsiders? Yeah. Where are the outsiders now, people? No, but it's not because everybody's different They can't treat us like outsiders. They have to treat us as equals like they want to be treated like equals You know what I'm saying? That's what I'm saying like I don't celebrate holidays But I respect people if you would even got damn Jehovah's Witness the hovers witness

You can't judge that thing and they can't judge ours. No, I can live No problem with them. I can integrate with them. Hold on You can judge a birthday party where there's 18 little critics just flying around That's something that can definitely be judged. Yeah, I don't want to see fucking children nude? Because they said, that's fucking weird. The parents of that party, they were in court because they believe that children are still in the innocence and that we didn't have clothes,

you know, in that society. I don't believe that though. Right, right, so I'm not wrong and you're not wrong. I didn't cause a fist fight. I told the father. I told the father straight up.

So go, you guys are leaving. So, you know, we're really not comfortable with the Make the children Nothing. He didn't know what to say. He was offended that I say anything But I'm saying he can't get a thing. But I gave it. I gave the you know, present I said, you know, enjoy your fucking gluten free cake. I would imagine I would imagine Bullshit

How wild would it be if you got the pig at that party? Yo, I try to get a real life pig. Yo, did they do it? Yo, my daughter turned to last week and we had a sick party. I tried to get a real life pig to come to the party and they were like, the state of New York does not allow that because that pig will kill somebody. That's a good concern.

It's a, you're asking for a fucking hog to come through Bay Ridge. It eats people good concern. It's a, you're asking for a fucking hog to come through Bay Ridge. It eats people's bones. The mafia uses pigs to get rid of evidence. What were you thinking? Because it was a pig-themed party. Because at first I was like, I'm gonna roast a pig. I think.

Why was it a piglet? No, well, they said they won't bring it to New York. They said they wouldn't do it. You're close to that. You're close to that. Yeah, you're close to that. Right now, the only place I got back was this place, Eyes of the Wild in New York. They said they wouldn't do it. They said it's like part in Jersey. You're close to that, you're that. Right now, the only place I got back was this place, eyes of the wild in New Jersey.

The lady was really nice. She was like, she was like, pot belly pig, we can bring it. And I was like, and then they said, one guy told me, he was like, we can, I'll bring a pig. I'll do a few under the table, but it's gonna be $5,000. She was like, oh, that's a blackmail pig. You're like, you know what? These kids are two years old.

They don't know the difference. I'm gonna put a little nose on Stopperos. How many? Yeah. Stopperos came out with his fucking bandage and said, Ram Pictures, yeah. Give him a spot pay and have a walk on all fours. He came out.

Yeah. Spoke a little bit. He's 25 bucks. He's squinted around a little bit. Yeah. Oh, he's like, yeah. Got a gay, how about dude, fucking, mayor on. He, uh, so, but, yo, the party was, I have to do it. I can't. Marron.

He. So, but yo, the party was the party was dope. Yeah, it was dope. My door, I told my daughter party was dope. It was my, yo, my, my children's birthday party was dope. But you know, my heart, you know, she's half Puerto Rican, my, you know, her mom's Puerto Rican. So all they, all that, they came to Puerto Rican. And they shut that shit down to two o'clock in the morning, right?

It's a drinking coquito, which is a Christmas drink. They thought a drinking coquito at 11 o'clock. I was like, it was a two-year-old's party. You guys are going nuts. Yeah, but it was fun though. That is not a stereotype. No. That is not a stereotype.

Yo, Latin's party told seven in the morning. What do you mean stereotype that is like? That Latin's party long, like late. It's real. It's yes, it's an earth Like at a house party especially. Yeah at a house party I think part of it's like you know, we moved all this furniture Like it's a lot to put it back. We're gonna maximize My daughter to be more like the Puerto Rican side of her family than the white side my my party's suck

With the white side of my family. There's always an an argument. People go home at eight o'clock. The Puerto Rican sign, having fun. They all love each other. All such a close-knit family. No judgment. No judgment. Oh, there they are. Dude, I got one of her cousins has five kids

with five different guys. No judgment. They all, they all, my family would like that. Tarifying. Why is it horrifying? This girl's a great lady. She made some questionable decisions. But she's a fucking great lady.

And all her kids, all her kids fucking love her. They're all great kids, all love each other. All the dads get along. You know, all the dads get along. They all came to the party. She's got a starting five of baby dads. Why not? You know what she's going to play against the nicks?

She's spread it around good for her. I want my daughter to be encouraged by that. I don't want it fucking comfortable. Oh, yeah. No, no. I'm playing as a Nick's right around good for her But is that your sister maybe I gotta ask my mom But it's fucking beautiful the Latinos of beautiful. Yeah, there's one sitting right over there. Hello It is yeah, yeah, I'm fake latino though My latino for the jokes That would be me your mom's very spent what I meant your mom is awesome your mom Mom she's Lowery side we got my mom's half putter again. What's that? What's that? Have Irish?

Okay, this is a common mix in the Bronx. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm on super cool. Yeah, the Bronx. She's here watching the baby. That's like oh, she's not from here. She's not, she's a little familiar. She lives in North Carolina now. Okay. Bring her on Sunday. She's leaving Thursday. Come on. She's no mind. But she had a good time at the brunch. She loved it. Did she like mine? Yeah, she loved it. Lier. Chrissy killed that person. No, I didn't. You fucking did. I was no Lynn Coplitz.

I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz.

I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz.

I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn Coplitz. I was no Lynn she goes, oh my god, Lynn was the best comic I've ever seen the set was incredible. Chris your next. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Chris, your next was like, okay. Yeah, I just went on there. I was like, oh, I didn't, I, the room's not on fire. I was like, how was that? SD, she's like, it's good. Oh, no, how did it domestic? Yeah, it was great. was still good. That's how everybody killed. Dude, everybody's in such a great mood. It's a Sunday afternoon. Nobody's got any props. Everyone's wasted.

Get drinking. Yeah. Cypher's the perfect host. Way to up to the song. I play music before the show starts. So there's like a nice little drinking vibe. Yeah. That's like a take club.

Like a, yeah. That's where I got the idea. Exactly. Yeah. Like what's it called? Back a tell. Back a tell. Back a tell, yeah.

Yeah, but there's all these like day parties now and I'm like, I hate them. Yeah, I hate. But I was like, why don't we do a comedy show in a daytime? It was genius idea. The food is delicious. It is really good. It's working. It's working.

It's going to continue to work. What times is it? It's a two o'clock show, but it's we see it. And the food is fantastic. The brunch was good. The first the first time it came around, I was like, oh, but it's we see it. And the food is fantastic. The brunch was good. The first the first time it came around, I was like, oh, these pancakes are a little dry. And now, but now the food is fantastic.

I'm kidding. Seriously, you get that. Are you kidding me? No more spots for it. It was a joke that got nothing. I always love the food here. It was incredible. It was incredible.

Nothing I was kidding. The food's always great. I've never had anything besides the hummus, but I heard it's a new kitchen now. It's the burgers straight up the best wings of the city. I'm not fucking around. I love one of the best burgers in the city too. I agree. So good. I can curve. Damn, I want wings now. Let's do a pause. Are we getting anything in the chat room? A lot of people saying, I'm not listening to this. This sucks. This sucks. Where's the way to say what somebody said, Are we getting anything in the chat room and a lot of people saying I'm not listening because fuck yeah The weirdest thing was somebody said Chris your phone your feet my email now

Yeah, I don't even I don't know what the fuck like Implifying somebody wants to pick you your I think it was a guy. Hunter, what kind of question is that? I have no fucking idea. I thought maybe you would know. He wants to see these puppies. No. Wait, you say that again, he said your feet. I'd have to, it's a while back, but I think it said,

Chris, your phone, your feet, my email. Is it a girl or a guy? It was a guy. Pretty sure it was guy. I'll send it to you. Who's sex via email? That's two guy. It's all. I'll send him who sets via email. That's why. That's all for who asks for the sex via podcast live stream chat.

I'm sure you're shot though. You know what I mean? I'm not mad at him. That is some fucking ultra modern shit right there. Yeah. It's like, yo, I'm going to hit him through this. He's going to tell him and then he's going to get me through his phone onto my phone.

Incredible. And then I'm going to jerk off so many ways to beat off about his feet. We're getting really specific. People love feet. I like feet. I'm in a feet. You're a feet boy. I'm in a feet. I put him in my mouth all the time like a passifier. Oh wow. Yeah. You're a thing. I plug it in. It's just plug it in. Yeah. It's like you know when you see a charger and your phone even if you're fully charged you plug it in My girlfriend's foot's right just plug it plug it in Charge up I just charge up is that your source of power Joey's giggles because it you know it tickles air but it turns you on turns me on yeah

You ever loop up an arch Yeah, go to town you would Yeah. I'm not a fecal. Have you ever loo up an arch? And just go to town. You would. Oh wow. I was not expecting yes. I'm gonna go to your fucking Puerto Rican birthday party get junk. No, this fucking chunk club does everywhere. Put your feet out. Yo, take my feet. Yeah,

take my feet out. You fuck my feet in front of my kid. I'm not judging you. If you were to show it up, if you were to show it up to that party, you would have been able to hook up in anyone. They all love you. You would have been number six. They love you. Love you, all of them.

I don't know. Seriously, I only had like a year, I should have taken a little more time. To a year to get that more reason to get to know the fans. Have you ever fucked Asmoreecia? No, you ever... Hey, pal, it's sick. You want to know the fans. Have you ever fucked as more easier? No, you ever. Hey, how the shit? You want to suck this day? I chased my girlfriend around the wig sometimes, which is the last time I've never

ever told this. Come on. You should have took more time than what? Huh? What do you say? You took more time to get to know the fans. To fuck around. Yeah.

No, man. Cause I went with I was with Jesse May for like, those couple years. Yeah. And then the year in Miami I was a good year That's what I left for Miami to do that show. Oh, that's true. And then I got another girlfriend, so oh I see Yeah, I'm talking like it's because it went you know those shows they come out. Yeah, so dressed up and Good night out. Yeah, that was a night out

You did a bunch of those shows. You saw was coming out there. Love them Some of the hottest women you've ever seen in your life. I mean, like smoke like just like you're just and they're just the way they're dressed up and like a night out sexy night out sexy night out. Sassy. Yeah. And they are excited and excited. But the girl you're with now you're going to marry. Of course. And I should. I've been telling you from day one. This is gonna be. You get married.

If you get married, do I got what's the chances I can get best man? Is it low? Why would you get that? Well, we've known each other for a couple of years, but wedding party though. One of the ushers. Greensman definitely in there. I'm good. That's right.

I've never been anybody's best man. Well, are you guys good friends? Yeah, we've got a lot of man. We got good friends. Yeah, we got a lot closer. We both live in Bay Rich. Yeah. So you're like neighbor in the fridge. Every day, we had a real club. We've been friends for a while.

Yeah. And now we're getting like every day. We stroll every day, because. Every day, I do something like a walk. I won't go for a walk. We take a walk. We get frappes. We get a friend they know.

Oh, that's adorable. We get crepes. We got a LMB's for Loan and Gardens. No, and be alone garden It's kids at dick. I'm addicted to sugar That's that for that you should be in the wedding No, I think I should be in the wedding because I'm someone who's proven to you that I can be trusted Fucking Italian I can be I'm not trying to be in the wedding. You want to be the executive of the will. Just sign right here.

You trust me bro. Because you may go down at the, especially the bachelor party. Because that's Guy's cabin. I can't have any comics in the wedding party because I'm a scab in I can't have any comics in the wedding party, dude. Come on Yeah, because they'll cancel it bad. I did I pick a spot at the seller You know I can't cancel an SD suit against me Do a brunch wedding

Right Like you I need you to go on the row with me you like Nobody's open I would do it I'm gonna try to get that private jet! Two PM on a Saturday? That's Cypher's brunch show, I can't do that. You gotta marry her during one of your sets. You gotta totally work. I gotta produce a show and pay everyone $500.

Yeah. Have them do a set and they're like, I just stick around a little bit. I'm gonna get married, is that cool? Get married in between comics. Oh, Hostage. Oh, hosted. Yeah, you know, hosted just bring it on. Yeah, they got a way to get their pay. Yeah.

So before the first comic goes out, we gotta get married. You guys get you want your money. You guys stick around just a little extra. We gotta do, bro. That's the life of a comedian. Chris, you could become like an ordained minister. I'll give Bob a mario.

Can I do that in the Greek church? Is that all right? No, no. No, no. Greek church. Greek church is so great. It's actually, I think my brother has to be the best man, right? That's how it goes.

No, you just have to be. No, no, no. I bother you, you can bother. No, he doesn't have to be. He doesn't have to be. It usually is. He has to be a member of the church, though. Dad, I know.

I'm not positive about that. I, dad, I know. Yeah, but he's gay, so does that offset it? Oh, he's out. That I know. I'm not positive about that. I know. Yeah, but he's gay. So does that offset it? Oh, that's what I'm saying. But he's Greek. So that off.

What gets does the amount of points of him being Greek equal the amount of points he gets deducted for being gay? It cancels out. I think as I'm saying, my brother crushes so much grinder dick. Right. And I think it's so many that it comes back to the other side is straight. It's like he's, it's just so many. It's so much.

It's just so much he's back hole again. Yeah, it's a monster. Yeah. I mean, his grinders alert. I'm paying out. I'm just going up. It just blings up all the time. Well, he's a powerful dude.

I mean, you know, it's powerful dude. It's good looking dude. Great. Powerfully successful. He's got. I mean, but it's power. What does he do? He, uh, he's a lawyer. Uh, he worked in the Obama and Clinton administration.

Oh, yeah. I want to fuck it. He's currently on a push. He didn't smash any congressman or senators. No, probably. Probably got story on the low. Sure. Glory hole on the low.

No, half of those are probably just a game. He's like, my brother was like, uh, he went to Oxford. Holy shit. He's like smart. He hangs out with, my brother was like, he went to Oxford. He's like smarty hangs out with. They're all like, yeah, they're like smarty. He's probably, he's probably, it's probably been in some wild shit because the, the richer you are and they, if you're that rich and that gay, yeah, it's unbelievable. He's not rich though. My brother's not rich. Nobody, but he hangs in a high, he's not rich though. My brother's not rich. No, but he hangs in a high society. He's a public servant.

He's clearly not rich. Exactly. Yeah. But it's high society though. But he could get a really good job now. My friend is, my friend is friend is literally like the speaker of the house of, of Belize. It's out of America, right?

So they often, you know, host foreign dignitaries and goes, you know, who's the worst? The Canadians. Oh, really? Basically, they're so uptight in Canada that they go down and fucking let loose. Oh, shit. And they go crazy. Stick your dick in everything. They just, they cock fights. I wouldn't think the Canadians though. That's dick and everything. Yeah. Just a cock fight. I wouldn't think the Canadians though.

That's what you think. Yeah. He goes there the war, he goes there fun, but they're like they get the wildest because they never get to get wild at home. Right. Makes it so cold because they're pretty liberal up there. I mean, they're pretty open. No Canadians. I guess the Liberals is like here, right? Well, they're like, they're not, they're not so outspoken as Americans. Yeah.

So like when they have issues up there, they kind of, shhh, all right, let that go. Yeah, they're kind. Yeah, they don't protest and heart-bond things. Yeah. Do you ever notice that Canadians just like have that molested glow look? Oh, they're just like, they're just like, hey. They're just like, hey.

You know, emotion, right know emotion right right right right Lades over yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Canadian yeah You say the most horrible thing yeah They just don't want to be rooted any cost that's probably why you're right because they're just polite and shit Yeah passive aggressive is really what they are Yeah, they're not really nice. They're assholes when you leave. Oh, it's nice. It's nice No, but like culturally, you know, they're like they're polite to you

And then like you're being like a fucking mean American, you know like a rude American I think you walk away. They're like go fuck yourself. No, that's more England is like that. Yes, yeah, England is very like very friendly up front and then when you leave it's like Yeah, but I find there's to be sarcastic. The English like dries in your face sarcasm sometimes. That's why you need just Greeks who just call you a piece of shit to your face, but mean it the whole time. Yeah, the whole time.

That's us. Greeks, we, yeah, we, and we also have like a fuck you thing to us that hurts us and helps us. Like we don't like working for anybody. Absolutely. It's that that's just that we cannot have a boss. That's why we Greeks like to open their own joint. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, yeah, 100%. My own painting business, my own diner, whatever it is, I want to do it myself. I can't take orders. I'd rather make less. What do you think that's from? Do you think that's because you got yourself? Well, I think it, but do you think that's anything to do with as a culture? You've always, everybody always tries to conquer you.

Always. Yeah, the glory days is a long time ago. Long time ago a long time ago You know because you got we're lucky graphic if I like we were talking about oh the Chris is getting smart Do you know if we're talking to your graphics? We're talking about the gene graph of climate a way You want to be in that a G and C No because yeah, because everyone between two cultures. Yeah, man

You get right from Africa to Europe and you need what you said Crete. Yeah, well, you're from oh, yeah The Greeks have a lot of pride about like yeah that era. I know so like it will like the Al Bundy of countries Yeah, we were cool in high school. Yeah Back in the glory days. It's like dude now you sell shoes. Yeah, it's a banana. Now all we have Your third-world country now We the smartness Like dude that was thousands of you But we've got we've got yogurt on lock We got the yogurt game on life

It's dairy now, you know, it is I think it has a little to do with that because we were Basically slaves to the Turks for 400 years. Yes. And that was that was recent. So I think there's a little bit of that go fuck yourself from that. I mean, you've been occupied a lot by a lot of. For a while, I mean, that was 18. Yeah, you know what? After that, turn to the century, last century, 1821. And then after that, a bunch of foreign powers every time is every time in Germany, you know, right away, they're like, great, us. They put, they may as get a king from like fucking, he was, I think he was from German, from the Germany royal family.

Yeah, we had a king that we didn't even fuck with for a while. Yeah, it's a bit of a lot of time, man. You don't want to be conquered. I think it's a little bit of that, and I don't know what the rest of it is. I know I'm cretin, so I'm like a unique Greek in that way, because crete is like, it's like the Sicily, the way Italians look at Sicilian's cretin. Yeah. We're like, we're the crazy tough ones. You know, we, you know, we, at the Africa, we're close to Africa, we can jump higher.

What is the attitude? What part of Greece is Feta cheese from? Is that part of, is that part of Greece called Feta? That's all over, baby. It's fucking cheese. There's no cows in Greece. Like, you don't get... Fugging Feta.

You grow up, yeah. Fucking goat's milk. That's what you drink. Yeah, dairy, that's our shit, man. I'm telling you. That's what cows in Greece. Like you don't get really. Fugging feather. You grow up, yeah. Fugging goat's milk. That's what you drink. Yeah, dairy, that's our shit, man. I'm telling you. That's what you have for your dog. We don't have cow, there's no milk cow. Cow.

That's live a long time too. I think you got like four or five years on the average American. The Eccarians. The Eccarians live one of the longest. Their average age is like 90 or something. They lived a lot of them lived over a hundred. Geographically, where is that in Greece?

It's in Ireland. Oh, okay. It's an island. Oh, okay Tonight High fish West part, but I'm not positive the diet is the it's the best it's that has to be studied right that diet. Yeah, they don't really know all of oil Yeah, olive oil's good You don't pay your taxes. Yeah, you just fucking chill. Don't pay taxes now. Oh, everyone fucking defrost the government. That's a big problem. Well, that's why, yeah, that's what happened. Yeah, you can take 50 cents out of the ATM.

Oh, husband and wife don't talk. That's also a big reason and keeps the stress down. Don't talk. Yeah, married couples don't talk. They just grunted each other. We've talked about this a thousand times about how one an archaic principal marriages. We've talked about how a jumble of how one in our cake principal marriages. We've talked about how a job of a fucking idiot go crazy.

Go, go, go, go, go, take this to the rich kid. Tell you something. We're not meant to be together forever. It does not work. Sounds like things are going well. Yeah, your relationship. We've talked about this. It was to unite families. It was a financial thing. People were dying at 30. Right.

Nobody, the people invented marriage. They would not want used to be married for 60 years. And people like, they've been married 60 years. I fucking boo that shit. Yeah. Always. I never clap for that. I'm like, you want. There's no way you're happy. And I just tried to study that 75% of men, I mean, people admit what the husband of the wife has acknowledged has admitted it in the fair. That's a point. Yeah. They said, I'm a women say married and acknowledge that affairs are okay. And there's certain

rules to it. Where don't get married. Just don't do it. Well, you know, you're the dream. Yeah. I think that's the new reality. Too many, too many people, I think, are married because they just think that's what they're supposed to do. Yes, that's our followers. Be a fucking leader. You know, you know deep down inside, you cannot think that this person you're with is the only person that will make you happy. Here's the deal though, that wouldn't be possible. You're not the first person to bring this up. I'm not. I know I'm not trying. I think literally every man is. We've been trying to force this into the culture, you know,

like guys keep trying. It's sort of not working. It's a new idea though. It's a new way. It's sort of here. I feel like it's more prevalent. Like, yeah, people are doing open marriages and shit. Back in the day, people would just do it.

Women would just like, this is what I have to do. And now I think it directs directly correlates to when women, you know, have their independence movement, which I'm for. Yeah. And then why why is there their independence? Yeah, just want to say, no, beyond say. Yeah, you just mean. Women fought women are now they are heads of households and they can make it on the roll with down a man. So then marriage. Not necessarily. Maritra's answer because the roles were you take care of the child. You stay home and I'll marry you and I'll provide the bills and everything like that. It's not necessary.

But you're talking about the love aspect of like being or you're talking about like the rules of like, you know, like government and laws and stuff like that. I was like, because like, let's, you know, if you're with your girl for 10 years, yes, you get into a crazy accident. Sometimes she can't even come see you in the hospital. It's family and, and, uh, spouse is only right. Shit like that. So you want to change that?

You want to get legislated? I don't think he thought it through that much. He just wants to go. Let me hear your snapchat going again. He's good for his specific plan. Let me call my lawyer. Yo, print out and send me for some. I'm just trying to get my foot.

No, no, no. You're not there. Yeah, no, no. I know when I was just fucking pressured to get married. No, don't do that. No, don't do that. Don't trust me. No, no, no, everything. No marriage but I was just fucking pressure to get married. No, don't do it. Don't trust me. Don't do it. Don't do it.

Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't get married. Don't get married. No marriage with pressure. Don't get married. Don't get married. No, but you know, people, there comes a time I think where you're ready.

You get married. Yeah, I was ready. Yeah, I was ready. And then you're like, wait a minute. Yeah. That was a moment of weakness, but the problem is, I get married at 26 and I was like, no, I should not do that. Well, I'll tell you this. I'll tell you him in it. Yeah, at the moment of weakness, but the problem. I got married at 26 and I was like, no, I should not. Well, I'll tell you this, I'll tell you what I believe.

I believe there's no reason to get married if you're not gonna have kids. Right, yeah. What's the point of being married? Yeah, great. When you get married, it should be when you're like, I wanna have kids. But that's why, why do you have to be married to have kids?

You don't have to. I'm just saying, if you wanna do, if you wanna do the traditional thing, it's a better reason to get married. That just seems to have be traditional bullshit though. Set up down gives you know some girls like the some girls like that security knowing that like hey if you want to leave It's gonna you're gonna have to pay And that's why I had a child first. Yeah, and now I can now I was far away from marriage before I had the child

But now that I have a child you could never fucking make me do it. I'd rather pledge allegiance to ISIS than go for it. Literally, if you gave me that choice, you'd be like fucking me waving the black flag and then I'd go, it's because you give up some power. I can't do it. I can't do it.

And also I feel like you marry a woman, right? Because you'd say this person completes me and the love of this woman completes me and this and that. Now, I know the same love that I showed to my wife is not the same love I have for my daughter, but the love I have for my daughter is so powerful that I feel very completed. If I never had another girlfriend again in my life,

but I had my daughter, I'd be like, okay, I'm happy. I got my career, I got my daughter. What, I can jerk off or bang a hooker if nobody wants to marry me. Fine. I don't need the wife. I Yeah, I don't need the wife I mean, I don't need it to complete. Yeah, but you know, we're talking ideally, but like and you're a good guy So you're gonna do the right thing right, but I understand why some girls want to get married

It's like because a lot of guys will do that and then just leave Yeah, but we have no point on to yeah, we have a child, but you stuck to me forever No, but I'm saying the the a good reason for marriage is it like kind of obligates the guy to take care of his response or vice versa. Whoever is making money or whatever, it doesn't let them leave. But just not to get that. But you're coming at it.

You're coming at it from what I said before, like the archaic way of thinking about it, where you have to provide these women are saying now, they are independent. They can do it on their own. They don't need us. So then they don't need the marriage. And I'm somebody's got to raise a kid better with that. We both care about. What matter? They society says either then you're going to get have to pay for nanny. I mean,

somebody's got to raise the kid. Yeah, but so I mean, I pay for a nanny at times. You know, what do you know? I got a nanny. Yes, somebody's got to eat. So, you know, it's like there are some bad guys or girls who would just leave more God, you got scumbags like that. Girl, the guys would leave a lot of guys just fucking leave a for the kid in the woman. But that's the first time. I'm premier dirt bags. Yeah, there's also women who look at they know the guys are dirt bag

and they think marriage is going to change. And those aren't those aren't good marriages. Big mistake. Yeah. Like I was I was comfortable. I was like you back in the day, and I got to a point where I was comfortable, and I was like, you know what?

This is the one I'm gonna get married, and it's been working great ever since. Good. But I know what you're talking about. Like there are girls that are like, okay, if I can get them to marry me, then he won't leave. You know, I'll change.

I'm gonna solve a problem, man. And vice versa, guys think that too. If I'm a lock down this girl. Well that happens with kids too. A lot of people have kids thinking it's gonna like fix the relationship. Exactly. And it's just kind of, but it's the same thing with marriage too. It's like these are all ideas that if fundamentally the relationship isn't sound, who gives a

shit if you're married or if you have a kid, you just don't let, you're just two people that fundamentally don't like each other. Yeah. So it doesn't even really fucking matter. It's just if you don't have a good relationship, all the other stuff isn't gonna change it. But what you said is so money, so many people make that mistake. Yeah, they think it's gonna change.

Yeah, it'll get better. Or a guy, I've seen this a lot, a guy will get caught cheating on his girlfriend, and then she'll be like, all right, I'm gonna leave. And he's like, no, I'll marry you. I'll do the right thing. You know what I'm saying? Oh, yeah. Those don't work. Big mistake. That's a wrap. Yeah. She's going in, she's going out always. Ain't no good. Yeah. Because a lot of people don't want to get out of the relationship because they're scared

of like what their new normal is going to be. They'll adjust to their new normal in a couple of weeks. Now, look, I'm, I'm trying to talk myself into it. I'm not taking my own advice, but I just know that that it's like this fear of being alone no matter how, you know, tough. I'm allergic to virgin. That's what you're talking about. I hate when people say you're just scared to be alone. Yeah. You the fuck wants to be alone.

Have you seen these guys who were alone? Yeah, it's fucking scary. I'm not. These are tough. I'm talking about. I live in an eight by eight windowless room. You have a fucking unicorn. I'm talking about like guys in there like 50s. What the fuck are you doing, dude? Yeah. It's sad to shit. Well, that's why I filed for divorce because I was like either have his child or we break up and I was like I'm not having his child.

So. Well, he asked for it. No, we both mutually wanted it. A child. No, no. No, no. He wasn't begging for his dad. He didn't want kids and I didn't really want kids either.

I was like, there's no reason. And I'm going to have like Italian because that's what that time is. No, that answer was how much you got married at 18. But you know, it's so funny though. 18? No, 26. But we were together since we were 18. Oh, it's true. Yeah, it's true.

But even this idea of like marriages love, here's how my grandparents got married. I give you two gods, you'll give me the tooths and we'll give you the daughter. But yeah, exactly. We'll have a brother. But wait, it wasn't a raised marriage. So my grandfather, he was such a piece of shit.

They couldn't find anyone in mainland Greece to marry him, right? There's no one in his fucking village. They go out, no thing. So they go to some fucking island. grandfather, he was such a piece of shit, they couldn't find anyone in mainland Greece to marry him. Right? There's no one in this fucking village, they go out, no thing, so they go to some fucking island, they go to the island of Lesbos, they have the shit set up. Yeah, yeah, it's where Lesbians came from apparently. It is, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's where the word comes from.

Yeah, so they have it all set up, they've tricked the family into accepting this horrible man, right? He has to strong arms. He has to make money. He went to school. He has a job. So they fucking, they pitched this guy, he was also named Stavros to this, to this woman. My name's Jake.

And the woman he's supposed to marry looks at him and she's like no and then her her parents feel bad and they're like fuck you came all the way over here our oldest daughter won't marry you take our youngest daughter and that's my grandparents and then she just had to fucking live with this guy for 80 years that was it that's it yes that's how you see and then she just fucking packs up she just thinks she's going to her sister's wedding. Oh my God. She goes off the fucking Athens. She just lives with the man she hates for the rest of her life. I never see her family again. She just goes to the mainland. Yeah, it's an old saying that I created. It's Greek still married to be happy. The point of marriage when you're Greek is not to be happy. It's to marry Greek.

But that's all that matters. It doesn't matter. Like as long as the person's Greek, it doesn't hate each other. That means everyone accepts it. Like all the cousins, friends, they're all like, they did the right thing. They're both Greek. That's the only thing that's so. It's really true. It's fucking crazy. I met a Greek girl.

It's crazy. You know, you grew up around here. You know, Greeks, it's their father. I dated this Greek, not date about something. I couldn't get away with it. A father probably didn't let it. No, she was like, you know, something like that. I couldn't get away with it. A father probably didn't let it. No, she was like, you know, this, you know, this is gonna end soon. I'm like, no, this is going well.

She's like, no, this is gonna end soon. I'm almost at marriage age. Like, I'm gonna marry Greek. And I'm like, yeah, but what if we fall in love? She's like, ah! I'm marrying Greek. Yeah. It's not to be having so much fun.

I'm just trying to get a little brown dick before I settle down. I just want to get my mixed tape off the ground. I just started doing my ex, I got two go around and I'm struggling. It's like you said before you know how marriages used to be about uniting kingdoms and stuff. Yeah, Greeks. It's like uniting Dider families. Yeah. So like you're up the starlight Diner family. Yeah. You're of like the Kony.

Yeah, chose to unite the Diner families. That's it. Yeah, you make a strong alliance between the two of them. I'll probably get married next week. I'm just gonna do it. We're gonna do it. No, you have a Puerto Rican Italian, baby. That's a Brooklyn combo.

She's a good man. Wow, cause I told you, yes, when it was her birthday last week, I was like, you can do anything you want today, it's your day. She immediately walked up to other. She said, I want to go to a daddy Yankee car. I want to go see Typhus Towns and Jailows. She's doing butterfly knife tricks. I want to Look at the limbs

My Mickey Mouse Mango slices Let's go to Sausage Park I want to hang out with my feet Immediately walk and took a shit right in the middle of her brother's room Like pull her Pull her pamper down and shit right in the middle of the floor. And then walk the way.

Holy shit. Yep. And then walk the way with no diaper on her mouth. That is incredible. Just walk out, you're dying out, shit down her leg. Oh. And just stood in the hallway looking at me. Asserting her dominance.

Yeah. And I was like, Delilah. She's like, birthday. She said, she said, birthday. She said, birthday. And then walked away. They weren't raising a sociopath. Yeah, like she was waiting for me, but you could do whatever you want.

It's like, oh, I got something to do. Yeah, you're mine. Yeah, she was going to get it. It feels good to be in the tank. I wish I had her on video. That's great. Yeah, she could even think of that. Yeah, yeah, she just walked right in 20 years.

It's just like a serial killer who shits on the floor of every victims living room Fuck fuck I never turn around. Yeah, never turn around. You got no kids, huh? I got kid two years It's one beautiful one month older than is yeah nice. How's it gone great? I love it I thought I'd be scared and didn't know I thought I'd you know have a dead baby Look now is you I'm thinking, you know, have a dead baby even six months. Look it up. Is you, I'm thinking about getting married. Is your wife cool with the lifestyle and stuff? Spots, but I was telling Chris, it was the other day.

I mean, I'm talking about second date. I was like, look, I'm out all night. I travel a lot. I'm around strippers and crazy women. And all that I said, if you wanna be with me, is, you know, is gonna be trying with me is you know, it's it's going to be trying Yeah, so you know to your lifestyle, but I'm not gonna give any of that up So but I'm a good guy though. Yeah, I'm loyal. I'm a second. Yeah, I'm you know financially responsible

Yeah, all that stuff. I was just like I I'm out on that and it's gonna look like I'm doing crazy stuff And this is like before Instagram now I'm looking like I look like I live the life. You do look, it is pretty good. You're Instagram is pretty dope. But I do live the life, but then when I'm done, I'm done. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? I live a regular life also.

I pride myself on that. Yeah. But it's cool. You just got to like, a lot of dudes, they're not honest. You know what I'm saying? They try to say what you think she wants to hear Yeah, and I said yo listen, I yo if if she pal says come to this gig. I'm out If you're pregnant and having a baby Daughter's

The other night was our anniversary. My first love daughter's bitch, she a pal. I was the birthday of my daughter for the Sean Friday. Sorry, it's happening. Let's spend Saturday together. And then on Thursday, S&L calls me and like, yo, can you DJ the after party? And I was like, fuck. And I'm thinking how am I gonna, you know, tell my wife, because I'm going to tell my wife

that I'm doing the S&L after party. Like, not if I'm gonna do it. And then I go, what time? And they go, you start DJing at 4 a.m. I was'm gonna do it. And then I go, what time? And they go, you start deejing at 4 a.m. I was like, oh, she'll be wearing sleep right now. So that one was easy, but if she'll call or chase calls or the seller calls someone cancels, I'm out.

Yeah. Yeah. I can't risk it. That could be the day. That's the day that it happened. You do have an exciting life, though. It's pretty fun. Yeah, you work. You work hard. Yeah, really. Because he did that 4 a.m. show at the and then was hosted brunch and

of course, when he started doing comedy, he was getting up in the morning, and the morning show and then staying out all night and doing it every night. Yeah, but I also I also am very down the earth humble and take care of your you know you inside You know, let's do yoga guys You feel like a really spiritual person, but it's just like I think people Haven't you stifled people get caught up and they get caught up in the lifestyle and they just live it too much And they crashed and burned yeah, so that's in yeah, that's why I think having a child in this job is so great because it's grounding. It's like, I don't have to, I'm not out every night till 4am.

Do you think you might be the most humble dude in the hip-hop community? I love that. That's very not hip-hop. I would say. I love that. You got to be the most. When you're behind a rapper like DJ Forum and he's boasting or you just like looking embarrassed like you're so damn like. You got to be when you're behind a rapper like DJ for him and he's boasting or you just like looking embarrassed like A little much I know he's got a lot of pens but not me guys not me. I drive a Toyota

Like a good diner conversation coffee. I don't need the limelight. Nah, it's crazy though, but you gotta, yo, you gotta do it, yo, just fucking be the shell of a human, you know what I'm saying? I know so many of them, I just, who are you? What are you? How did you learn that, parents? I don't know, mom. How did you not get sucked in by the hip hop world?

Because I'm familiar with that world. I don't know. Did you ever have a couple of years where you're just, like, when I was young, like, I was looking at an old picture the other day. I definitely had on a chain. Oh, yeah, dude a chain with diamond 360 and diamonds around 1997 I remember when I bought it I was like this is wack. This is not me Yeah, I got to play the part and I was like and I was like now this ain't for me, right? But I did it.

I was going down that lane and then I caught myself. Most people don't catch themselves. Definitely had a chain. It's hard not to you a little bit. It's hard not to just go wild a little bit. The whole culture is all about like, you know, boasting and like money and balling out. And then Siphon's in the corner.

No, I told you don't say that then Siphon's in the corner, and I'll just say, no, I told you it on set. Siphon got a banana republic shirt on. No, I'm not bad. I mean, I have Brooks Brothers, you know? Siphon's a tree. Siphon's a tree 21, 30% off. And it's a little imperfect, but nobody knows. I'll definitely get a good Marshall shirt.

Yeah, I'm staying with a Marshall baller. I only get my underwear Marshall shirt. Yeah. I'm staying with a Marshall pole. I only get my underwear at the discount store. Yeah. Yeah, a little bit. Perfect. I don't give a shit. Nobody's ever seeing my underwear.

Nope. I'll go with a little hole. I'm going to create that hole anyway. I'm going to blow it in there anyway. I'm not going anywhere. Nothing. Chrissy, that guy wants to know where do you get your underwear? Where do I get my underwear? That guy I'm talking about the guy who DMT the guy who's listening right now is dick in his head.

I would mind when I do me undies read. Yeah. Well that would be fun. Chris he gets his underwear for some reason it's always fucking that gambling site. What is it called? Handle. Handle. Chris he gets his underwear.

Handle. You guys like to gamble, right? Enter code muffin, Bobby loves. Bobby loves muffins. Where do you get down these? I don't know, probably Macy's or something like that. I think. Rebox, I'm wearing Reebok underwear right now. Are you doing sports on these?

Sports on these. Okay. Yeah, I do Reebok or Haynes. I think I get them. We had box of briefs. You're a box of briefs. You're always Boxer. I haven't worn tidy whiteies. I'm still boxes. Am I old? Oh, yeah, boxers out, bro. I'm gonna go. I don't like it. I don't like it. I like the thighs a little bit. I like the

openness. I do. I do boxes. Banana Republic. Okay. I tried old Navy last time because the same company. Shitty. They're shitty or they're harder. Yeah, I saw a boxers banana republic white T's Marshall socks target. Oh My father doesn't wear underwear That's wild. I know what is he dressed like what is he you are dressed pants? I'm Yankee sweatshirt 12 months a year. Okay.

Yeah. Doesn't matter. No underwear. No, it's not. He's never, no, he doesn't wear underwear. Oh, fuses. That's so weird. All dudes do that.

Yeah. Yeah, a little fuck. I need a little, I need a layer. Yeah. My father wears underwear, but it's been the same pair since 1997. So I think at this point, he's just translucent, you know what I mean? It's like a like a So I think at this point it's just translucent, you know? It's like a like a does he roll around or does he smoke cigarettes? You know, no, no, every he did at some point I know he yeah, I mean when he was younger, but he's not key. He's most I he must I he

Fuck how do you say beard? Hey, okay, but yeah, he's got full beard bald looks as fucking foreign. I have a whole I'll show you guys this picture He found this fucking he found a picture a print out of me completely nude and he's just found in my car Just him just him smiling. What the fuck is my son doing? I work with my hands and he's just like getting To be new born in Greece. They don't get it. You make my what's you have the job? He called me like that I stand when I graduated college. He called me and he was like He hope he I'm like hello and all I hear is I was like hello, he's like Are you in the zone Greek of course like your mother tells me you're gonna do comedy

I was like yeah, I don't think I'm gonna get a job I just I was like working part-time jobs doing comedy. He was like, and I was like, yeah, you know, I'm not gonna get a job. And he was like, just another, hangs up, doesn't say anything else. It's not say anything else. And then every, I mean, this is like,

I've been doing, you know, these last two years I've been doing comedy. I don't have another fucking job. Not now, he's like, oh, you're traveling everywhere, like a fucking gypsy. It's like, this is the job. It's good that I'm traveling. I'm getting paid to do stand up.

My grandfather, who owned a diner, of course, my dad, when he wanted to go to college, and my grandfather just stopped speaking to him because he wanted to go to college. Can you imagine? What? He was angry at him. That he wanted to go to college.

He didn't want to work and take over the diner business. My dad did go. Yeah, but he was pissed at him. That's a big room for months. Wow. Because he made that decision. That's a real village of shit. Yeah, because he left the left the family.

Yeah. And didn't like continue the diner business. Oh, you know what? I know two great guys, two brothers, good friends of mine. They own nightclubs in Jersey and catering halls, nightclubs restaurant, everything. And great guys though, and they definitely lived together with their mom.

Yes, dude. I tell, they both got married. They're not married. And he's like, he's like, Costa, you leave him here. Yeah. Yeah, that's what Greek town was in Baltimore. It was all these guys with fucking escalates beamers, benzes live with their mother

Like they play no Everywhere Greeks and Italians the mother The embellical court to replace it with a psychological No, I'm psychologically I was such a fuck up my brother was so But I got one good one. Yeah, I got one good one and like he was just like, you know scholarship to Oxford lawyer crazy and then I was just such a fuck up that even when I got C pluses They're like oh So I was like a jean like, the bar was set so low.

Beautiful. Yeah, they're fine with what you do. They didn't even, like, my brother still calls it acting. Yeah, you know, like he can do it. Where you up, brother? Yeah, my brother's still, it's finally starting to get a little bit, but it's like, he doesn't get it. Not like a real, yeah, my brother, my dad is super supportive.

My mom, I don't even still thinks knows what I do. I don't think you ever knew There's nothing like like did anything in your career make them proud like well the ponos the Everyone in the Greek community knows ponos So it's like people would Be telling it to them. Well, I saw you so yeah, the character just got big in the Greek community with Americans and like so even like powerful Greeks who are in the it's a very tight-knit community. Yeah, they all know each other even in other states. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. They connect. Yeah, you did came around Baltimore. I need y'all I need y'all before I knew him. I was like, oh, yeah, Mr. Pano. Yeah, so it's all every Greek knows it and and so that made them kind of And then it was in like newspaper was in Greek news. It was articles about it

And so man to main land Greece. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, what you gonna do show in Greece the Greek crisis video kind of predicted the Greek government stance a little Yeah, yeah on on the recession with Germany, so it was there was in a documentary, it was in a guardian article. What, your character? Yeah. This may never have to pay for another gyro of the rest of his life. Yeah. It was actually crazy that the government actually said the things that my character said like four years before. Yeah, I was hilarious.

And I was joking. Yeah. I was completely joking. Wow. And there were like, not threats from Turkish. I have got death threats from Greeks. From Greeks. Wow, why Greeks?

Because they feel like Greeks are very proud. Maybe right, I get that. I get that. Yeah, the Greeks feel like it makes them look bad. There's also a lot of Greek lunatics. There's a lot of Greek lunatics. And the one I got the most death threats when it was a separate video I made.

Where Cyprus is a Greek island, put their own country. So I made a Cypress is a Greek island, but they're their own country. So I made a video through the character's voice, of course, about, come on, you're Greeks. You know what Cypress was? What's your history, or rock, without us? And the Cypriots went, fucking, belis- This one dude was like, if you come to DC,

you were gonna get murdered. You're gonna kill you. You're gonna kill you. He's gonna kill you. He's like making a apology video, and if you come to DC, I'll kill you anyway. He's gonna kill you. Apologize, show your ship, your fans, and then I will kill you anyway.

He's like, nobody's gonna come to DC. And nobody's gonna drive five hours of kill. Yeah, if you wanna kill me, just get fucking hop on a 45 minute bike. Yeah, just get one by Amtrak. He loves murder. He hates commuting The funny thing is nobody ever kills comedians, you know, that's it cuz they know we're just stupid now You're asking for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that'd be funny No, I don't know nobody messages you if they're gonna fucking kill you. Yeah, if you're gonna, you know, I went to DC

I went to Arlington Drafthouse. Nobody killed me. Yeah, nobody you're gonna you know, I went to DC. I went darling can draft house nobody killed me. Yeah, nobody showed up either Just wasn't great promotion if he was there. I'll be like, yeah, before he killed me can at least buy a ticket Trying to hit this bonus right now Bring a few of your friends I'll comp you Yeah, so that's when they got it a little bit, you know, even still. My mom never got what I did until I was on. So you want to billboard? No, I was up before that. Like when I was DJ for Little Kim, and

we were on. Your mom's a little kim fan. No, no, no, no, no. But we were on Chris Rock show. Yeah. Chris Rock, I got to do that. That was a great show. And I had on a yellow leather suit. Oh my god. All had on yellow. Find a fucking picture. I got to find it. And then my wife was like, oh, you're like the band. I'm like, oh, you're the band of that group.

It's so funny. Like, you can almost see their thought processes and try to make it make sense. Oh, what a click. But they know they're like, oh, I get it. My mom's young kiddos. She got it. My mom had me at 16.

Oh, so she should know. She didn't quite get it though. Like, she can get a DJ, she didn't. She got a DJ, but she's like, what are you doing weddings? Right. Bar mitzvah is mostly. But then she heard you on the radio, no? This was before the radio.

Oh, okay. Oh, the radio, forget. I was, I'm golden in my house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you do parties in the city coming up? I had to get to a lot. What promoters did you work for? I don't know.

Who, who, who you have? Is it like a Bill Spector? Yeah, Bill's other parties with him. Yeah. I did it with everybody, but I was popping back who you are. Is it like a Bill Spector? Yeah, I did a party with him. Yeah, I did it with everybody. But I was popping back in the days. Now the scene is dead. It is. The scene is dead in New York.

Yeah, well, like fuck. Where, where, where, where, we'll know a temper, bro. I think that, huh? The scene now is not about dancing and parting. It's just about like looking good, like bottle service. Yeah, at least. So there's just about like looking good, like bottle service. So there's a lot of clubs that are like crowded and you got to be know someone to get

in, but it's not to me. It's not fun. It was just hanging out. It's like everyone's sitting around and out. Yeah. Yeah. The hip-hop party is like Mr. C.U. used to be my favorite. Yeah.

Those used to be fun. I want to go to some of these parties. I want to go out. I want to go to a club. I haven't been to go out. I want to go to a club. I haven't been to a club. Cypher. Take you. Can I go to a club with you? What's the next time you're going?

I don't know. Just go. Let's have a fucking. Yeah. Like a daddy guy. I would love to. I would love to have like an outing with some comics coming to my DJ world because every once in a while there's one there. And they're like, dude, who are you?

What's the next party? What's the next gig you got? I don't know, I got to figure it out. I'm going to text you every day. You got to bring the right comedies. You bring other comedies all introvert and weird. Yeah, imagine it was me at a can. Annarmen. The city of the corner sniffing his fingers.

Yeah. Well, San Morel just standing there awkwardly in a Nick sweatshirt is the game on Where how do I talk to people I'm a robot I'm writing jokes all the time in my head Where's Norman hey girls touchy Philly I can't do this without beer Oh, yeah, Mark know is one of them you saw me on when I DJed on the impractical Joker's cruise. Yeah, cool. And he's like, are you doing that again? Yeah, I'm doing it. So am I. Oh, shit. I have never going on. Come on. Everyone's going to get her pee. Yeah, things get crazy on a boat, don't they? Yeah, people get wild. Yeah, I think they think they're like removed from society.

Yeah, yeah. To water. Yeah, doesn't count in international waters. If we can't get arrested by a specific country, it doesn't count as two. I count when you come back. All right, so we go to the club. I want to I want to do that this week or next week.

I want to go to the club. Let's go. I grew do that this week or next week. I want to go to the club. Let's go. I go DJ who kid. I grew up with two kids that like it's crazy to see how big they've got know a temperburg. Oh, yeah, and Richie Kiva. Oh, yeah, they're like Richie owns one. Oh, yeah, they just like where you grew up with those guys. Yeah, I knew them in high school. Yeah, I watched them like rise up in the club. Rich, I don't know Noah too well Noah own I know Taukru Tauk Marke and R.K. and Tauk Vegas. You know his brother? He was gonna rock back. He was gonna rock back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, but they did pretty good back in the day. They still do. They still got far away. But um, uh, uh, uh, Richie. Yeah, he's on top of the world. Top of the world. Well, both of them. I mean, they probably did load it. I mean, he's just like, just like. Top of the world. Well, both of them, I mean, they're private jet. They're loaded.

I mean, just like, just like, yeah, Richie just like shots out. Happy birthday to like, Rihanna. Like, that's my boo. Hey, boo. True. She's my, you know, just happy birthday to my fan. Hashtag fan. I know.

I know. I know you're having to see them now. I have, I haven't seen you in one of them in a while. Well, they know you, of course. Yeah, I mean, we grew up together. They know me, I know them. Yeah, we know each other. So let's go out.

I was friends. Yeah, I go to one out. Oh, you trying to use me, son? Yeah. Whoa, get me on the list. You can get on the fucking list. God, coach, just put it on. God, coach.

Just tell me I was gonna call. I was gonna call the lizard. You voice the lizard. I love how promoters on their Instagram, they always have hashtag about last night What's that was that like a nightlife thing about last night about last night. Yeah, everything about last night I'm like about last night. I did sets eight of swarm on Sound on the catch and watch sports sports in until four in the morning. I'm happy

I mean deliriously happy Yeah, my favorite moment is when I come home and like my girlfriend's asleep and I turn on sports center and I sit down. I actually make a noise when I hit the couch. And I just watch it on loop until like five in the morning. It's the greatest. It's the greatest.

I wish I could do that. We gotta do one read. Yeah, one read. Guys, look at this awkward read. Oh yeah. Blue apron, huh? Good service. Blue you do blue paper? A lot of comments been promoting that yeah, it's easy. It's affordable good food. Yeah

How serious I want to try it we wanted to do it here so we could just make like our own weird meal so we could just make like our own weird meal. I want to try it for real. I'm gonna do fuck here. What if they call a Bob and they're like, you're canceling, you're supposed to read this shit. This guy wasn't believable. We want you talking about food. Yeah, you sell that shit.

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Yeah, but it gives you instructions. It gives you like calories, fat content, everything. That's perfect for my one day. Nobody cooks any right. Let me write this down. Yeah, blue apron. Blue apron. You just got a new coat.

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That's how I'm going to give her instead of a ring. So you don't have that box. I'm going to give certificate. A blue apron. A lifelong membership. Yeah. Do you think this is true? They say research shows that blue apron families cook nearly three times more often.

Hell yes. And if it's in the copy, it's gotta be true. Yeah, I believe it's true. They don't lie, they don't lie in ads. Blue apron don't lie. Those who spend a lot at restaurants are at high energy grocery chains can now spend under 10 bucks per person for a delicious meal.

It's like 1992 New York again, blue apron. You can get a meal for 10 bucks. Warm smoked trout and asparagus salad with finger potatoes and garlic croutons and a whole bunch of other stuff I have to read this whole thing after you guys can it blue apron code dude All right, that's it right yeah, we're great great show We really needed you we were Before you guys came in it was like the Greek Oprah

Miss pronounce Before you guys came in it was like the Greek Oprah You weren't helping because you were eating the enemies Bobby didn't pick up my face. She's not used to being out to talk Bobby semi a serious text. He was like I'll call you later Personal matters like shut up Did the people enjoying the chat? You're playing video games you know, I even want to say more They liked it wait you didn't get his name. Oh, yeah, what you guys know his name him? Josh Adam

Yeah, Adam I did just introduce myself to like You know what's fucked up is we played the same exact game last time. I did we did and it was my He's got fucking you know like for father face Like I guess they would be Adam or John Yeah House party. Yeah, it's got you know Third-eye blind like college house party. Yeah, it's got holding a red cup, you know, yeah, so happy. Jared Freed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Third I've lined kind of

wish you would step back from them. Sup got your sub guys, dude. Like you would. You would jeans with sandals. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, definitely flip flops and shorts. 100%. Cacky flip flops shorts. Yeah. Yeah. Connecticut kind of thing. Maybe a little show. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Actually, I was very the you. Maybe a show down. Yeah. Actually, I was very the last time we played this game. I was very flattered because you guys like you thought I was educated and like from Connecticut. Yeah, like a trust fund kid and I'm like very blue collar. I'm from like rural Minnesota. Yeah, not you are like way off. We were off.

But I was flattered by like, you made me way more fucking classy. Well, we knew your guys everything. I'm like, Kaneda kids. I don't say like, if he's saying you're from rural Minnesota, to a New Yorker, you're just from Minnesota. Yeah, right.

Right. Right. Get a no big city's in Minnesota. You don't have to, we don't go, look at all these buildings. Wow, Madison. You guys get really sick of being around people on a Saturday when there's people walking.

All right, that's it. Close it out. Good night, everybody. You've been listening to YKWD Podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free.

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