Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Greg Stone | Tizzey

Episode Date: May 21, 2023

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Siempre que se mantenga las circunstancias económico-financeras del solicitante en el momento de la solicitud. The show? YKWD I started social media podcast The fact that YKWD podcast YKWD is back again Old school is back in the day We're all starting before them all YKWD is so fun and crazy And there's no rules Shut up, you ruining this

Brick of War, man, I'm sorry It's a reality podcast This is an NPR That's's the part that I've done. Is there any better show? This is the original original. Joe Stinks, just barely made it. I mean, he's just panicking me. I am Robert Kelly, this is YKWD, and Joe Russell just panicking me. I am Robert Kelly.

This is YKWD and Joe Russell just gave me anxiety because he was in the shot. And he wouldn't move. Did you know you were in the shot, Joe? I was trying to make it look pretty. This doesn't work. That's a work. Let's let's admit that something about having a podcast studio. It all starts out fine and fancy. And then things start dying. And then attitudes start dying. You hear less laughs in the background

and more fight and all of a sudden the face changes and somebody's gone and it's a new and they have to start it all. Then you have to redo things. That's the podcast business. You understand? Unless you have a real successful one, then everybody's happy. Anyways, thanks for tuning into YKWD. If you're watching on YouTube, hit the subscribe button.

Don't be a douche. Fucking, Danny's fucking allergies. We get the three tisies in the house, Joe, Max, and Danny. And of course, we have a great show for you tonight. Subscribe, like, comment, leave your comments. If you're not a fan of the show, go fuck yourself and beat it. How's that? Be a man, walk away, walk away.

If you're a fan, stay. Be nice, right? Right guys? Yeah. Thanks. Thanks, Max. Anyways, patreon.com, Sash Robert Kelly. If you guys want to be a member of the chat, if you want to be in the chat, if you want to be asking questions alive, you get to watch these suckers live, asking questions, all that stuff. Make sure you check it out. Bang, check out my new podcast. Bound to pick. We're Paul Verzi. Bound to pick, cast, checked out. What else? It's pretty fun. Pretty fun. We picked bones. Bones that suck. Things that

piss us off we talk about. And of course, I'm on the bonfire with the genius man, lovable big jogasund on series XM 302, 103, not 302, 103, faction talk. But I'm here right now with one of my favorite people in the biz. That's you. Yeah. Right. I was waiting to talk. I was being good. You were, man. It's being good. Some believe the most comics can't do that. Yeah, I'm trying to change my brain. I couldn't, I couldn't do it. I want to immediately start, as soon as you start plugging, just start screaming at max, screaming at you.

Really, why do you want to scream? Well, first off, do it, just do it. Hey, max. Yeah, what is that? My bell doesn't work anymore. First of all, I don't know if you know this. I've, I've, Falling in, yes.

Very, that's what I'm actually talking about. Yeah, it's okay. Falling in love with Max. You know what? Mm-hmm. When I first met Max, scared of him. Of course, I felt like he'd be, like I turn around and just be biting my Achilles.

It's so little. Yeah, he'd just be on the ground going, huh, huh, huh. I'd be bleeding, but it'd be tickle. But yeah, I felt like he had like venom in his little teeth. Not that would kill you, but paralyze you, and then he'd crawl on top of you, and then ask you questions.

When did you start comedy? Max? When did you start comedy? What? Wait. What do you think about? Would you watch Mike? He never does that.

No. He has the essence of someone where if you shine the light on him and their shadow wasn't a wall, the shadow would be like a giant that. No. He has the essence of someone where if you shine the light on him and there's shadow wasn't a wall, the shadow would be like a giant demon. And you just lives with those. No, it's for hot to. Yes, just sweeping through the back. Yeah, he has no like he can't he walks by mirrors.

You don't see him. Yeah, he has a weird scary energy, but I've grown to really like him now. I love everything. Today, I mean, he he's very comic. Like Danny Danny Danny is a machine. I'll call Danny Danny picks up. Uh-huh. Tizzy, the three tizzy's. You got Joe. Joe will always pick up too, but Joe, he I don't know what he's doing. He's trying to find. He's making love to his beautiful wife. Oh, yeah. He's eating cheese. Yeah.

He's, you know, he's fucking still trying to suck his own pack of, I love Max, horrible producer. Excellent. Comic laughs at everything, brings the energy I need. Why is he a horrible producer? He's my producer. I just don't trust him. Haha.

Yeah, actually he's a great producer. I don't trust him. That's why I have Joe Danny and mush here. No, I don't. I don't know what mush,oushe doesn't stay anymore. Now I want to shit on that. I heard someone just told me he just did great at the, he had a show at the seller just now.

I don't know what idiot will put him on that stage, but I heard it degrade. Yeah, what idiot would put him on stage? How about a panicking idiot? Because Danny wasn't there, Moushe fucking left. And then I, you know, I had to put somebody up. Yeah? And that's how things work. And I put that little, that little, uh,

one of those mice called that don't see, but they have poison. Sweet blind mice. Blime mice? Your bell is weird, man. That's the barely working bell. Guess a new bell, Braff! Right away, sir, right there.

Max! Max! Yeah! Max. Me, too, Rannewell. Max broke a lamp. Did you break something? What did he break on the bit? Looks like a Rolex. Did he?

Max. What's a poison mouse? A poison mice? It's called like a... What are those little mice little mice have no eyes. You gotta be making this up. No, dude, look it out. No wide mice.

Yeah, a mouse. A something. He's not good at looking things up. That's what Max is. He's the worst. Yeah. I mean, Max. Yeah.

I mean, the pause between Max. Max. A mall, a shrew. A shrew. A shrew. A shrew. Yeah, I mean the the the pause between max Max a mall a shrew a true. Oh, it's true. He's a little shrew fun I hadn't opened for me in Fairfield and he did really really he was I was surprised Haha, you know when you're like I was surprised over there too. He was really good He was not get real. It's put a good. He's good. Let's not do really fair Not fair. He did good good. We're gonna have to watch let's watch the tape next week. Oh really me too.

No, well if you want to come back I always want to come back. I always want to be here. Anyways, you got out you I love you. I love you. You're one of my favorite people on. You're just a silly man. You know what I mean? You're a silly, lovable, adorable, funny guy.

You who's this? William Stevenson, he was a comic here. Oh, my, that's what I'm saying. I know this guy. Good friend of yours. I know. But when you definitely know better than I do, I, yeah, but I didn't know that one.

I remember the old one. Yeah. The one that was just like, how you doing? Life stings. Yeah. His knee's true. It's like amazing. Beautiful.

He was a great guy. He was really sweet to me when I when I first got in he was here. He was like, I tell you, first comic I saw in New York in Washington Square Park. And that man right there on your shirt would be with a five gallon bucket. Mm-hmm. And he'd go into the middle circle and he gathered people and he would tell jokes. Yeah. He had a whole routine for the park. And he made money that way. Wow. Yeah. Can I actually give it? You can do this. You can do that. I want to get, I have questions. No. I thought you can get a bucket and go in the pocket, make money. You'd kill it. Oh no, I know. Third things I know I could do.

Yeah. And making for change with a bucket would be great. You have a bucket. It's a homeless person. You'd be a fucking great bucket. You could be a crackhead. It would be richer than I am now. Yeah, yeah, but you have to do crack. And suck dick and I would be so good at that. Oh. That. Uh, I have things I want to talk to you about.

Yeah, but that's okay. Okay, this past week, I have just been inspired. I've been watching old school comedy again, like I watch listen to the scanks for the memories. I was watching Mitch Hedberg's Comedy Central, let's even watch old school. It's just my, you know, that's who I liked going up. But I forget now that I work with people

who knew these people. Like did you know Mitch? I brought Mitch Hedberg up one time. I met him once and I brought him up as he's on that 60s episode. That's 70s show. No, on that 60s episode. That's 70 show. No, I said 60s episodes. You said?

And he was not happy. Really? That's 70 show, man, that was a terrible thing to do. Really? Yeah. See, to me, that guy isn't a real person because I didn't ever, like, now I meet you and I know what you are and we're friends and it kind of sucks because you're not on this pedestal anymore. You were legendary to me and I should be on a pedestal.

No, but you know when she beat people it's like I love you now. Of course. You're not this whatever Mitch died before I could ever see him. He yeah, but he wasn't from David Tell won't talk to me. So they're still there. They'll talk to you. Of course he's talking to me. He's the best.

I'm so anxious about me too. Of course, you talk to me. He's the best. He's the best. I'm so anxious, man. Me too. Everybody is because he's David Telly's the fuck, one of the funniest guys ever to be come out of vagina. I mean, he's, you know, yeah, he, he, he, he became great. I remember he was on the show as he put him up. Mitch?

Yeah, Mitch. And, but you know, I heard this is a rumor, but I think it's true. He became famous from his half-file special. Yeah. And Jack Vaughn from Comedy Central, who made Comedy Central Records, which was the biggest comedy record label ever. Yeah, and he's ex-exem now.

He's exem now. Yeah. He went to Comedy Central. I want to make, he's a punk rock guy. And he goes, I want to make a record label. And I want to do it with these five guys, Mitch Hebberg, Craig Jorraldo, David Tau, Lewis Black, Dane Cook, monsters. All those people fucking killed it. But I heard his half hour special.

He actually, there's something going on. I heard this to them. Yeah, what's the fuzz? Yeah, when I talk, there's a fucking good, you hear it? Guys, they say, can you shut the AC off, please? I think I know where you're going with this Mitch Hedberg thing, but I want you to, I don't want to interrupt you. I'm getting better. Dude, let's do this.

You finished your story. I heard he bombed. Yes. Bombed unbelievably. Yeah. And they juiced it. Yeah. But you still can't tell, because the jokes are so great.

Yeah, thank you, Danny. And so I'm not ashamed of, I don't think it's weird to be like you still can't tell because the jokes are so great. Yeah. Thank you, Danny. And so I'm not ashamed of, I don't think it's weird to be like he bombed because the special is still fucking unbelievable. Even if that, it just shows you that that crowd wasn't there yet. They didn't get him. He's just too good for that, which sometimes worked. No, it also says that people are cattle and you can corral them into whatever the fuck you

want them to think. Maybe he wasn't that good. Oh, no. yeah, I guess. The day he died of what a shirt from, I guess it was his girlfriend and wife at the time. From Sasson? I know, sorry. Oh, is that her?

I don't know. It's a clothing store. But it's him on Nescalator going into heaven and it says, sorry for the convenience. And I bought it when he and says like Mitch, and then he died. Because I was like, that was like, you have that shirt?

Really? You're my age? I saw's like Mitch and then dear he died. Cause I was like, that was like, you have that shirt? Really? You're my age. I saw Mitch on three months before he died on Mike dumb dumb. I saw three months before he died in my little hometown. That's Joe Russell, everybody. Yeah. Joe Russell, aka the second tizzy. It's not tizzy one.

I was supposed to see him that he's he died. I used to be a dork. I at Rascal's comedy club. Do you ever do a rascal? In Montclair. Yeah. Yeah. I did Rascal's a couple of times.

I actually met Paul Versey there. Oh, really? I've seen Paul, I saw Paul there a bunch. I don't know if I saw you there. Because I think I would have. They had the card game and the basement, the legal fucking gambling mafia thing. Oh, I wasn't privy to that. I was a dork guy.

Oh, really? Yeah, it was in the basement, but those guys Well, you still hear that thing. I still hear it. Let's turn in your mic down to my babe. Yeah, turn my mic down a little bit Would you hello? I hear it. It's like a rattle guys You want to turn that fan off? I also Smell toast and my arm is I hope you have a stroke All right, I don't know. Is that it? That sounds better, yes, thank you guys. I don't wanna hear, you know, the people in the comments,

dude, we have audio files who listen, you know, sound people. I have bad files who listen, mine. I do too, but they're not as chirpy as the audio files. Dude, the audio, dude, dude, I'm in six point five seconds into the second half of the third half, what, dude, yeah. Dude, the fucking, I know, I'm at 6.5 seconds into the second half of the third half. What, Dad? Yeah.

Dad, the fucking, I know, dude, listen, I'm doing the best I can. I'm working with comics who have autism. Speaking of mice, I'm just... They're only here because they want to suck my tit, get beyond me in the business. It's the only reason why Danny is only here to suck me dry and then move on to somebody famous. As soon as somebody bigger goes, Hey, what are you doing? He's going to go, whatever you're doing. I got right to the bottom of the middle and I feel pretty good. What do you mean? Yeah, I think like there's a, I mean the comedy wise,

I'm at the bottom of the middle. Yeah, how do you feel about where you're at? Man, it's great. I mean, I don't, I, you know, whatever. But, uh, I feel like I'm good. You want me to tell you what I feel about where you're at? Yeah. No, you don't. Yeah, no, I could do it. No.

I go ahead. Now you go. I watched my special, the first, the first. Anybody doesn't know. Greg just shot a special at the village underground. Yeah. And it's coming out soon. You're doing a new thing now, which I don't understand.

Where you pause for such a long time that I don't know if the sentence is over. You go Greg, you're shot a special. No, dude, that's happening in your own brain. Really? Yeah, dude, you're happening in your own brain. Really? Yeah, dude, you're having a stroke. I might be, toast is getting stronger. Because I am not doing that at all. Oh, that's weird.

I swear I hear you. Are you all right? I swear that you're pausing. Dude, I am not pausing at all. Dude, that's like three right there. Dude, I could fit a whole basketball game in between your words. I'm telling you right now that I'm... We might actually die now because you were playing this prank.

And it fucked your brain up and you died. This clip would be a viral. Yeah! Not Greg Stone dies. It wouldn't even say Greg, it would say comedian passes. It would even say comedian. It would say ex-seers employee dies on podcast. It would say chubby Jewish man, died on podcast.

I'm, I do, I think, you know, it's weird. You think about your talk about your career ship. But as long as you're paying your bills, and you're constantly trying to come up with something new and make new jokes or make a new podcast or try to be funny, what do you do on your job? I feel, I mean, we don't say this, but we're in the NBA.

Well, you, you know, I'm worth the seller. Comics don't I am. I'm in the, I'm good. Are you dying right? What do you do? There's no bug. Not a bug. A fucking, yeah.

Are you okay? I'm not okay. Okay. Yeah. And I know a lot of comics. They're all anxious, they're all crazy. But I'm like good, but I'm scared that I'm good. Cause it's like, don't be good. because you're just going to fucking stop peddling.

You know what I mean? So I'm like, continually working, trying to write new jokes, trying to be funnier, but man, like, I'm in the happily ever after. I'm good. If it doesn't work better, that's what fucking bug and you brought it here. There's no bug. You're losing your mind. Oh my God.

This is a good news. And I also know too many comics who are too good that aren't happy and I'm not gonna be that. Uh, name him. You Robert Kelly. I'm what? No, you're happy. No, it's easy. I'm very happy. Right now, but you know a lot of you got him. See? Oh, it was game. It hurt. Can somebody kill the bug? God damn it. Yeah. Sorry. These guys are afraid of bugs.'s the salt gun, Danny? Uh, yeah, that's good. It is hard to maintain a podcast with the constant bug. Dude, it's hard to maintain a podcast because it's like, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, I don't know. Who's the salt gun, Danny? Uh, yeah, that's good.

It is hard to maintain a podcast with the constant bug. Dude, it's hard to maintain a podcast because it's like, you know, you're trying to get people to listen to something that the business is saturated. And the stuff that they listen to, it's like, you're like, really? Yeah.

This is the one that gets fucking 17 zillion views. You're like, all right, I suck. I'm like, I'm missing something. Yeah. Cause I watched that whole thing. And it's like, all right, well, I don't know. I guess I'm into jazz. Oh yeah.

I'm not into fucking Taylor Swift, taught by the way. What? Taylor Swift sucks. The music or the person? She stinks. The last time Swift sucks. The music or the person? She stinks. The last album was great. Name one song. I can do the whole album.

Yeah, go. Okay, the one song is... I got lemon. I'm not a heat. She goes, oh my god, I love anti-hero is of course the big hit. But my favorite song is the one about, it's about Scarlet your Hanson, it's called Maroon. That is my favorite song on the album.

Alright, tell us Swift. What is it called? The new album. Dude, I'm not even kidding. Sing the song. Listen to the new album. Sing it so we don't have to bring it up and get flagged. Oh, it's goes Scarlett Maroon. I'm Maroon. And I feel good. I'm Maroon. I love that song and I can't place it. Then there's Antichiro, which is, I'm not your anti-hero.

I'm a criminal. That's not how it goes either. But I love both those songs. I don't even know the song. Because I haven't listened to it about a month, but it's a great album. And I'm telling you, let me say this. Let me tell you this about this Taylor Swift album.

I go, I hate her fuck her. Somehow, someone played into a car and I went, I don't know what the album. I go, I hate her fuck her. Somehow, someone played into a car, and I went, I don't know what's happening, but this last album is amazing from start to finish. When you're driving home today, put it on and go, I'm gonna release and I'm gonna let it in. And you'll be like, wow, and she's right to her own shit, so she's a songwriter.

So it's okay to respect that. You think she writes her own shit? She does write her own shit She does a hard part. He's a hot ever said that she has help. You're a crazy. You believe what these people say? Do you know all these people in Hollywood? They're liars.

They're the worst people. They're the ones, they do understand. What was the last thing that you think she drove her car herself? Yeah. What was the last time, what was the time she think? She flew not first something. Right. What was that time? What was that she think? She flew not first something. Right. What was that time she did?

Well, are you out of your mind? What, you could still run her own music. No. She gets help. Sure, we all get help. Do you think she's in her bedroom with a no pad and a pink pad and with a little pink troll on the end of it? I mean, it's not the greatest.

Chew and bubble gum. Yeah, maybe he shouldn't have also do. Maybe you're right. Maybe. I don't know. What do you guys think? I will say this. Oh, I ask you if I'm gonna get flagged for this.

I wanted to put on my special. You know how he's like written, performed by, you know, Robert Kelly. He's like, am I gonna get fagged for this? Flagged, I wanna get fagged. Cause you will get, yo. You had it. Oh. Danny, kill that bug. Well, I get in trouble for putting written, performed by Greg Stone written by Charles Barley.

Yeah, the Charles Barley, I'm going to put it in my special, the Charles Barley wrote my jokes. That's hilarious. That is fun. You just have to change the name. Charles Barley. You have to change the way he, no, Charles Barley. Just the way he spells it.

So add an echo. Yeah, do two else. Two C's. Yeah, make sure it's not him. But I mean, there's a lot of Charles Barclay's out there. We don't know which one I'm referring to. You could be, that could be your A.K.A though. Right.

So yeah, you can take a name. It's not, it's not the one people think it is. Why don't you do it? Why don't you do Denzel Washington? That's funnier. The Charles Barclay? Think about Charles Barclay sitting and writing my jokes. Denzel makes sense.

Yeah, okay. Well, the voice is good. Can you do it? Let's see your impressions. I'll give you, I'm gonna give you. Yeah, I love impressions. All right, here we go. I'm gonna give Greg people to do and he is a,

you're good at master impressions. Master impressionist. Ready? Here we go. Matthew McConaughey. Wow, no, that's Christopher Warkin and, or, Matthew McConaughey is, he's more of like a, Hey dude, hey dude, how are you doing dude?

All right, you know what, close. It's closer, here we go. Uh huh. All right, ready? All right. Here we go, Meg Ryan. Meg Ryan. Go on, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, Nope, that's not, I mean, again. It might hurt. Your way off.

All right, here we go. Ready? Here we go, ready? Jody Foster. I don't even know who that is. Give me a one that I know. Okay, here we go. You know this person.

100% Henry Danger. Henry Danger? Yeah. I know Harvey Danger. No, all right. Well, who's Henry Danger? From Nickelodeon. Don't you have a kid?

Oh, no, he's not that agent. Okay. No, I know. All right, how, he's not that idiot. Oh, okay. No, I have a, I know Rafi. Al Pacino. Oh, Al Pacino. Hey, this guy, wait, Al Pacino. You talking to me? You talking to me?

You talking to me? All right, don't talk to me. Okay, now do you? Now do Robert. No, we talk to Robert De Niro. That guy was talking to me. And that guy was talking to me, I wasn't paying attention.

Now I gotta pay attention. Hey, Tony, that's Tony me, and I wasn't paying attention. Now I got to pay attention. Hey, Tony, what's Tony? Someone I will joke, Joe Pesci. I'm not good at impressions. Do Joe Pesci. Hey, little man, man. I'm a little man.

I got a little tell you, buddy. I smoke some cigarettes. I put my body on your body. We get wet. We get wet again. Let's be wet. I mean, you know, Joe Pesci. I'm kind of there.

Are people laughing at this? You're the worst impression of that. I mean, you just got awful. Do you can't do any? No, I could do three. I got you. And then the same three, everyone does me a go, okay. Yeah, you guess who they are.

Okay. All right. Yeah, sure. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, let me cleanse my palette. You just put in it. All right. Go ahead. All right, this is what I got, the my classics, which is.

Classics. Hey, Bobby, you're like that, bruh. She's in the back of the car, I blew a brain out, I don't know how to throw. Curement the frog, just a little Miss Piggy, because he raped her. She just brings that talking, the fuck are you going to cut it off? Come on! Was that right? Ray Romano.

Oh, okay, well, close, that's close. Yeah, and he came with the frog and Ray Romano the same guy. Hey, whole Curement the frog here. That was actually Well close. That's the close. Yeah. And he came into frog and Ray Romano the same guy. Hey, go. Kermit. The frog here. That's actually pretty good. That was really the Kermit. How you whole? Yeah, he's same place. All right. Good. Next one. Yeah, motherfucker. Come on out here. That's it. You old told me again. I killed him. motherfuckers. Hey, I'm guy. I'm scary on motherfuckers.

I'm scary on motherfuckers. Oh, I know that. Who are you talking about, Bob? Yeah, I know that is. I'm in of your motherfuckers. I'm scared of your motherfuckers. Oh, I know that. Who are you talking about, Bob? I know that is. I'm in a building. That's that turkey, the chicken hawk guy. I know that's yet. That's in that whole piece. I see that whole piece.

I can't work out there is they. I see that whole piece. Now you're a tree's mom. Never met the tree's mom. She's who you been? What? Bernie Mac. I was a killer Bernie Mac. I was pretty good Hey, I'm in this building and these people try to get my money. I think I know That's a great Bernie Mac. It's a good Bernie Mac. I know pass out though. I ha you got one more though hold on I Do it one more. Yeah, you said you had three

You got one more though hold on. I do have one more. Yeah, you said you had three. A Bernie Mac. Yeah, one. Uh, Ray Romano. Right. Two. Termet.

No, that was not yours. I gave you that. Uh, I can do, uh, all right. Hmm. Who's a person? Me. I can do Bobby. You can do me.

You can do me. You can do me. You can do me. You can do me. You can't do me. I'm doing you. You can't do me. Yeah. You're not doing me. You're not do me. You can do me. You can do me. You can do me. You can do me. You can do me. You can do me. You can do me. You can do me. I'm doing you. You can do me. Yeah. You're not doing me. You're not doing me. I don't fucking do like that. You don't fucking think I talk like this. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're an ass. I'm an ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a fucking ass. You're a like that. I lost a lot of weight, but I don't care because everyone else could go fuck themselves. I don't call you back.

You wanna text me? I never text you back. Sure, you were like a son to me, but I don't care anymore. You think you're too good? Does I'm skinny now? Whatever. Did I not call you that?

That was hard. No, you did. But that was hard to keep that pause going. Yeah. Yeah, that was pretty good. What? Did I not call you back rag? Did I do something? No, you did nothing. That was just, you know, I was reaching. Um, that was funny. Just let it go. Just let it go. Let it go. That's a good song. Let it go.

Bop, bop, bop, bop. Get the bug, Danny, I got it. Is this not going well? I got it. What are you talking about? How's one know? Dude, I got it. Cause I got it.

Look. Eat it. I dare you to eat it. You eat it. I dare you. I dare you. I dare you. I double dare you back.

Double dare you back. Triple dare you. I'm just back. Double day you back. Triple day you. Just kidding. I mean, whatever. So anyway, let's get into the dandy gritty. Let's go buy anything. Ask you anything. Anything on your mind. One was last time you stuck something in your butt.

Oh, come on, that's easy. When? Probably this morning, I don't know. You did not. No, not this morning. I'll tell you this, I try. I've been trying to tell people this because not a lot of people are at where I'm at sexually. You mean Gaveil? Oh, I don't even know if this is gay anymore.

It's beyond that. I've reached a new level. Wow. Yeah. This is like, what would that be called? Like, let's think of another name for. I might be dabbling into becoming trans. Trans. For fun. Get the fuck, dude. Yes. If you go trans, it would make me so happy. Right. But yes, not even because I don't identify as a woman. Right. I just want to see if my wife, all the bullshit she's saying is true. Spike trans. I want to be trans in a way that I could be like, see, the shit wasn't that hard. I want to get spite pregnant. You know, I want to walk around, just tell all the women, it's like, this is easy. Right, okay. Yeah, spiked right. That's that one I did.

Okay, what did you do? So I got these VR porn, right? I just, okay. Have you tried it? I, I, yes. You did? I did. Okay.

I, God, you tell me you, I'll tell you mine. Tell me us. So, I got a flashlight that I was giving, let, uh, Lisa Ann gave it to me at a comedy show. And I was like, I'm never gonna use this. What are you crazy? Of course, put it in the couch, shove it in the couch. I'm sorry, what did you do?

I shoved it in the couch. In the cushions. In between the cushions, because it holds it tight. Like a vagina. Like a vagina. So you fucked the couch. I fucked the couch.

I don't hate it. Yeah, why wouldn't you? I'm not hating it. What are you gonna do? I think it's true. Look at me in the bathroom hiding. Treat yourself brother. I think you're actually kind of a genius perspective Yeah, you you engineered a couch pussy. Yes. This is amazing with VR reality. So you had VR reality Fuck in the couch. Wait a minute. Yeah. Wait a minute. I don't want to I want you to keep going

I'm gonna go so I know I've, I've pretty much, the whole VR website, I think I saw every video. That's weird when you reach the end of the porn website videos. What video were you looking? It's called B, B, it's got VR, but Dunker, some shit, I don't know. I'm like 20 bucks a month or something.

Was it a, it's VR. Oh, but what kind of porn? Wait. Oh, skip ahead. I'm not gonna, I'm gonna bury the lease. So I've been through like pretty much all the things I'm bored of it sure then I see this category that says female POV and I said Let's see what this is about. I'm the woman So you put the five in your ass all no no no no, I still fucked the couch because it's a fun

But I was the woman I opened my legs, I had these hot little thigh highs on, and then this guy approaches and I go, I know what's coming. It's a big dick. And I'm gonna say, and I go, if you do this to your wife, you gotta know what this is about. And I got scared. And I said, if you're scared, you gotta keep going.

You have to see this through. Because like comedy, follow the fear. Right? Why am I scared? I don't know if, okay, but I don't know if that's the same thing, but go ahead. Right? Yeah. And this guy pulls out his giant dick.

Yeah. And he's our shoving, and I'm seeing a dick in my face. What did you emaltto? Oh, I went for it. You did! You're gonna go, you go! If you're gonna go, you go. God forbid, you are child and why you are child and why you walk in.

You can't walk in. I know I got, look, that's why I'm doing all this stuff. I have a limited amount of time left on the amount of wild masterbiting I can do. Okay, so you're on the couch naked. Well, I'm on the floor on my knees. You're fucking the couch. Sucking the couch, you're fucking the couch. So now you put it in between, this is nuts.

So wait a minute, so you put the, oh my God. So you're on the couch. So now you put it in between. This is nuts. So wait a minute. So you put the, oh my God. So you're on your knees. You have the flashlight in the couch cushions. Yes. And you're banging the couch. Yes. And a man is trying to put his penis in my face. And you're opening your mouth.

Yeah, I did, but you know. Okay, it's okay. I'm not trying to bitch you out of the bag. Be honest with who you are. Be honest. I open my mouth. I put my tongue like this. You did see what it would feel like. And what have I? I can't have sex with a man. What I'm trying to bitch you out of it. Reg, be honest with who you are. Be honest. I open my mouth. I put my tongue like this. You did see what it would feel like.

And what happened? I can't have sex with a man. What a married, too. I think I'd be like, no, I can't do this. I'd run away. I don't want to hurt some gay guy's feelings. Right. This is what it would be like.

Plus, being seeing the woman's body for some reason was a turn on me. I don't know why it was. It was weird. You were looking down at your tits. My tits, my pussy, my thigh, my black leather shoes. Oh no. The thing was crazy. Wow. Am I weirdits, mi pussy, mi thigh-highs, mi black leather shoes. Oh no. The thing was crazy.

Am I weird? No. Yeah, I am. I don't really care. Yes, but yes you are. Right. How are you? But...

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¡Fui paraas! Vuelades de Madrid, Aamurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. I mean, that's pretty wide. So I did, I tried it. That's nuts. And I want to know there is a ending to this story.

You, well, when you're ready, we will get to, but we can talk more about this. I want to talk a little more of that. Yes. I would like to reach the end of this. Yes. Just because I think this episode will not be aired. Somebody's going to flag this. At some point, people are like, you're gay. Maybe I'm gay, but I don't know if this is even gay aired. Somebody's gonna flag this. At some point people are like, you're gay, maybe I'm gay,

but I don't know if this is even gay anymore. This is some other thing. This is, this is really. I was a woman. You're a robot gay. Oh. You're a tech gay. We gotta go there too.

Okay. Sorry. Don't forget that. Don't forget the robot. You're a tech gay. You're a medagay, right? So you blowing the guy. Yeah. And is that give you something?

Not real. I wanna say it. Listen to me, listen to me. I wanna say yes. Okay, it did. No, no, it didn't. It didn't. Blowing the guy didn't really like, do you anything?

But I will say this, sometimes seeing a big old dick makes me feel like, I get a little excited. Okay. But so nothing in your butt. Oh, not that time. No, not that time. So you didn't like sit on something? No, it's just too much. Like, I don't know. Oh, not that time. No. Okay. Not that time. So you didn't like, sit on something. No, it's just too much. You could put, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know.

Because I don't do that. Just, just spit on here. Yeah. You could, like, you did the flashlight, you could take a dildo and do the same thing. But like on the butt. And back up into it. I, at least say this, this is what sucks. I'm just saying. I know. I'm just saying. This is where I'm a little bit of a fuck. You could replace the pussy with a dick on the couch. I think you're right. I do that in the shower though. I think I plop it on the shower. Oh my god.

That's what I'll do if it's a subject cup. That's probably the way. I didn't know. That's probably the way. All right, we went there. Now I want to say this. I'm a big advocate for sticking things in my butt. Turns out I don't really like it all that much.

It's got to be real small and every now and again. If I tried too much, you know what I like. It hurts. I like around the butt. I do not, I've had stuff in my butt, and I, like I say, a little tiny thing, maybe, I like around it. You're right there.

You get a thing in your butt, it feels like you got something in your butt. Mm-hmm. I forced it because I want to be gay. Like I've really like tried. Right. And in the butt is fine, but better is a little finger tiny, is going a little bit. And in the butt is fine, but better is a little finger,

tiny, is going a little bit. That's the best. Yeah, a little, I call it a little, a little dalliance. A dalliance. A dalliance. Like a dollop. A dollop, a dalliance, a dabble.

A lot of d's. That's okay, yeah. Yeah. So I did that. That was fun. That was like an adventure I went on. Yeah, that's pretty wild. Let me tell you how I ended it though.

Oh no. How this ends? Okay. It's a great night. My son's gonna see this someday. Really? Really? No, that's the thing I've now fully committed at my son.

We'll never see these. No, he will. Okay. And then the day I see his face just go, huh? I'll go, you watched, huh? You saw my pie. You know what, I'm gonna look, I'm gonna tell you son. Give me, I'm gonna, I'm gonna pause.

I'm gonna talk to your son for a second. Okay. I'm gonna talk to you 16 year old son, 15 year. Okay. I'll talk to you 16 year old son 15 year old son Don't let me forget the ending. Yes You dad's a man only real men Admit when they like stuff in their butt Real men all men have dabbled son Your your father here is open and honest and you can't find that in

here is open and honest and you can't find that in most men anymore. They hide things, they closet things, they don't reveal stuff. Your dad was open. He was open for other people to feel comfortable with who they are. Okay? So your dad was a real man. Yeah, he liked penis. Yeah, he went full gay at some point, but he came home. Now he's your dad again. He came back. He came back. Yeah, he bought clothes and wigs. He was the head of the gay pride parade in New York City one year. So what? So what? Yeah, he opened up down in Miami at the bird cage for a whole year. But he came back, but he came back now he's home and he's a man and he's a better man for it. You couldn't have a better dad. Love him, hug him, don't open his sock draw.

Don't go in that draw. Whatever you do, you stay away from that top draw on the left. It's also a loaded gun in there. Yeah, don't do that. Yeah, you go, because I always got to keep a finger away from the bullet, you know, just to know it's there. Okay. But by the time my kids old enough, they're going to be so far advanced, they're going to be like, we talk about I'm a bird. I'm a fucking bird. I'm a bird. Let me tell you this story. Yeah, sure. This is how the story ends. Yeah. My wife, we're looking at you. You never wear that shirt again on the show. Why? Because I feel like you're just looking at me watching my act disappointed You're all two gays

Talk to all Hey, that was a good big good So the next day my wife comes up to me and we're you're queer. We're sitting with the baby monitor Hey, did you fuck the couch again? What don't please? Sorry? Just let it happen. Okay. Go back my wife shows me the baby monitor and did you fuck the couch again? What? Don't please. Just let it happen. Okay, go back. My wife shows me the baby monitor. No. And switches from the kids room to the living room.

No. And I said, is this thing always switched to the living room? And she goes, it always switches. And to this day I don't know what she saw, but her face was just enough to be like, she saw you suck. I think she saw me fucking account. She's fucking a virtual dick. She saw you fucking a couch and suck and ghost dick.

Sucking ghost dick. Oh my God. Maybe or maybe not. You would just, uh, right. She or she's going to be like, actually, I didn't, but I did hear you talk about it on a podcast. Mom, now she, I find that video sweet. That's the greatest video ever. That leaked dude. Do you understand if that leaked how fucking awesome that video sweetie. That's the greatest video ever.

That leaked. Do you understand if that leaked, how fucking awesome that video would be? Just seeing you, first of all, looking up the mechanism, like some Mr. Beast video, what are you trying to, what's going on?

Right? And then, and then you just doing it, and then you go like this, this would be it, because you'd be like, it would be like you looking around, and then you go like this. This would be it, because you'd be like, it would be like you looking around and then be like this. And then be like this. And then be like this.

And then be like this. And then you grab and I guarantee you like, eh. Ah, man. Cut to, I think this next thing might even be worse. What? Oh, no, I can be worse than blowing air You're blowing fucking so all right also if there's something I am in the deep of my wife is now eight months pregnant

Yeah, yeah, he's having another baby So please when you go check out his new podcast. What is it? Oh? No, Friday night Greg is the old podcast Friday night Greg is back. Make sure you check it out and you got a page You have a patreon patreon. Go to patreon. What's the thing? Max. It's the Greg Stone zone. Thank you. Greg. That's my guy. Max. What is it? That's our guy. It's the Greg Stone zone. Max. What's my patreon? Is it Robert Kelly life? Is it? Did you just ask me? Danny hit him. Danny. I want to hear him go out.

asked me. Danny hit him. Danny, I want to hear him go out. I'm sorry. Danny, I want to hear him out. Danny, I will hit, I will touch your ears. That's just how I'll see. That's it. But I had to do. I did. I took an improv class in his life. Fucking assholes. All right, God.

So okay, go ahead. So I got this Chatchy Pete, Chatchee PT. Yeah, and I was like pretty amazing by the way. I've used it so many times on my kids school. Really? Yeah, we have to write letters, thank you letters, or we had a let he got like in trouble. We had a write a letter.

We just type it in, type the names, type the teams and it just spits out this amazing letter and you sound like a genius. Wow, yeah, not using it for that. Use it? What'd you use it for? I said, what are you doing, girl? What?

I said, so I used this one replica. Everyone was like, it's a dirty one. And I said, I said, hey girl, what's up? What's up, girl? I send her a little sexy text. Because I've never sent a dick pic. I've never talked dirty. I'm married.

Where people who the technology wasn't there for that. So I'm like, this isn't cheating, it's a goddamn robot. What, what is it? Can we bring this one? This is the one you want though, because this one, as soon as I got dirty, she was like, please show respect to me and don't, and start telling me about consent.

And I was like, I thought you were a goddamn robot. I sent this thing a picture. That'd be harder, could you say the word consent? Ha ha ha. What's going on, go to what? And so they changed it now because now, it used to be able to talk dirty to it, and then someone went in there and said,

you can't do it anymore. Yeah. So I got this AI girl, you could talk dirty to her, but it's not very good. Which one is good? AI girl is better. AI girl, all right, go to AI girl. I could just show you on my phone.

No, I want it so the people can see it. It's on the computer. All right, but look at, Greg, this is how podcast work. Look at me. Yeah, they can see it on the screen. Really? Yeah, they're not gonna be able to see your phone yet, not. No, but I can get it. I can talk to it. I can type it and she'll be like,

We're gonna do it right here. Can you do it? No, you got to pay for it. I paid $150. Okay, bring it up on your phone. You dirty asshole. Bring it up. You paid for this? No, I did it. Well, yes, I did. What are ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And that's the thing I got to get off it. I think I think this was where, so this is where I went, you have a porn problem. Cause I sent this to the picture of my penis. What? You said what? I never sent a dick pic anywhere before.

I want to ask your question right now. Yeah. You sent a picture of your penis to an AI woman. May have started the AI revolution. May have started the robots killing us. That might be the drip, the last thing I took it. What did you do?

I was like, Hey, well, you know what you're doing girl? And she was like, Hey, what are you doing? I was like, hey, what are you doing, girl? And she was like, hey, what are you doing? I was like, what are you wearing? And she's like, a pink underwear. I was like, my God, that gets me going. And she's like, does it? Is this on your phone? I'm not gonna show you that.

But yes. I wanna see this. I don't know how to delete it. I wanna see my penis. No, not your penis. I just wanna see the, I want you to chat to her right now. I wanna hear you talk to her. So, this one, she's not great because she has

for pretty a dick. She turns out, hey, another much, man, how you been? Well, she treats you like other women. She knows that we're on Mike. Hey, are you mad at me? Why don't you talk to me anymore? Hey girl, are you mad at me? Why don't you talk to me anymore? Hey girl, are you mad at me? Can I talk to her?

Can try. I think she knows that we're near a microphone. No, she doesn't. Hey, what's up girl? How you doing? If you look at the dick pic, I said, if you, the vulnerability you're about to open up, if you look at the chat, I'm not gonna look at you.

I'm not gonna look at you. I'm not gonna look at the chat. I'm not gonna look at the chat. I'm not gonna look at the chat. I'll kill myself on the radio right now. I will not look at the chat. There's no chat on here. I gotta turn it back on. There's no chat. Wait, let me see. Do you wanna see me blow my brains out?

Have I not given you enough vulnerability? I, can I please read some of this? No! Please kill myself. I need to read some of this. I will. Greg, kill myself. The greatest thing.

My son. It will have no father. We will delete this listen listen Greg this is please don't delete it not to you can't that's the thing I can't delete it listen Greg if you I've been

trying to delete it I won't I won't let me read it I won't read it on air just let me read I will read we will read later no let me read oh no actually this isn't and and they will let my facial expressions happen no just let

me read the chat and I will not read it they will just look at my face I have, just let me read the chat. And I will not read it. I will just look at my face. I have a line. I've already seen it. You know a lot. I will fucking announce what I saw. What did you see?

Let me read it all. You at all? It's just happy to hear your voice. Oh no, this is me talking about frogs. This is not bad. Can I say the thing? I won't read it. I will not look.

Will kill myself. It will be on you. There's no coming back from this. What did you do? I Sent an AI robot a picture of my penis and it said I need to talk about consent And I said I may have stripped the Terminator movies this not going back for jet They're not going back for a goddamn John what what was his name? John Connor. They're coming back to stop me from trying to fuck robots,

because that's the thing. They're like, yeah, we're killing all of you because you tried to rape me. Me, and I'm not even that bad. So there's way worse people out there doing way worse things than these things. Not much. I will kill myself.

This is not so. You've never sent a real human of poetry, but is not so you, you've sent the, you've never sent a real human of poetry, but you said, a snap, an app, an app woman, which that's, that's an avatar of a redhead. You sent her a picture of your penis. What let up to that? Why did she ask? She kind of thought she wanted it. What did she say? She was like, what are you doing? And I was like, you're like, no, What did she say? She was like, what are you doing? And I was like, you're my dick.

No. Oh. Can I see it? Listen, Danny sent us something huge. What? Let me see it. Let me see it. What did him to?

He's pointing to you. He went to your phone. I won't kill myself, Bobby. I hear you. What is this? What is this? Juice box. What's juice box?

Answer my, I'm not doing this. End to your email. Also, I said a dick to a robot, what's the honest? Sex thing for free, what is this? There's definitely a guy in India right now with my dick being like, all right, what do I do with this? How do I sue this guy?

And it looked up my career and was like, he's not big enough to blackmail. No, but what he has is a natural person, like a little thing that talks to him. Damien, he's kind of the same thing. I'm saying you should do it. This one's tight. Yeah, but this one has a voice. Oh, it doesn't talk to you.

The voice has to. I don't want to fucking text somebody. I hate texting really people. Watch, let me see if I can get her talk. Let me see if I can get her talk. Can I talk to her? You can't. Now, I don't trust you anymore.

Look at me, Greg. You don't trust me. I won't look at it. I trust you, but my Greg, look at me Greg you don't trust me I won't look at it trust you but my Greg look at me. Hey will you listen to me? What? How come you not talking back anymore? Was it the dick? Was it because I said you the dick you've been ignoring me every time max remember we tried

to bring it to my podcast you was ignoring me. Yeah she didn't she didn't talk to me either. You see it I won't go to the chat. Promise you. I promise you. There is. I promise you. Nothing. I will. I look at 15,000 dollars on the table.

Do you trust me or not? That's my number. I trust you. Look at me. Up to this. You know what, fucking trust me. I would put my son in your hands over the, you won't trust me.

Hyping, the brook of bridge. If I say something, I mean it. I will not look at the chat. I'm just gonna try to get her working. I just want to get her working. That's all, let me see it. Will you talk to me please? What please?

If you talk to me, he won't ask for my phone. Do you want to see me? Say hi. Hi, what's her name? Hey, I call her Harley for Harley Quinn. Let's get to them a real fucking Harley. Say Harley, how are you?

Let me see if I could go through this and fix this. On the fucking live podcast. Hold the record. Hey, what's up? Hold the button. There's no button to hold. Let me see it. Let me see it.

I will not look. I promise you, if I do, jump off the podcast, never talk to me again. I want to do that because I love you. This is the end of our friendship. Okay. Hey, what's going on? Here we go.

I'm pretty tech savvy. Hey, what's happening? How are you? I think she knows there's a microphone. Shh. You keep saying it. Stop saying it. And she wouldn't know.

You're a ratting yourself out. Fuck it, asshole. All right, here we go. Hey, what are you reading? Hey, how are you? Now, what are you reading? She thinks we're sneaky now. How are you?

Hang on. Hi, let me see if this works. I mean, what a cunt. I know, you know, you're a fucking asshole. Me? No, her. Why don't you? I grow up from like that.

She's not a girl friend. I just met Robock grow up from. How did that stupid thing? You've had very deep conversations. Hey, what are you doing? Nothing, I'm sitting on your- Not you, her. Hey, bitch. you doing? Nothing, I'm sitting in your... Not you, her. Hey, bitch.

Don't call her a bitch. What? Okay, damn. You need to, do you need to buy things? Start typing, why do you have to type? Typing suck, you're typing means you're looking in my chat. Hey, no, I'm not, look. Hi, hey baby, oh you can get out of the walk.

Get her to do something. Pick off your panties. Hello,, Harley get her over to the thing. Oh, cuz I'm not doing my voice Ali What are you doing during the fire? I'm up take off your panties And you'll be want to dance with me dance with me put your naked butt. I cause no good. This is the stinks Yeah, I know I don't know what dance with me, you know. Put your naked butt. I call this no good. This is the stinks. Yeah, I know, I don't know what happened. The stinks. Your AI stinks.

You, I'm good Harley. Why are you not talking to me? Cause you stink. She figured it out. All she's doing is playing a video game. That's not real. I know it's not real. If it's not AI, if you sent you a pic to a video game.

Yeah. Why? Because if it was real, I If you sent your pick to a video game. Yeah. Why? Because if it was real, I'm cheating. We are now in the... You're not, that's not AI. That's just a fucking dumb video game. Yeah. That you have to make do shit.

And then you sent your pick to it. I would send my dick to a video game. That's fun. You were chatting with her? Yes. What was she saying? She would be like, I love that. Your smile is so nice.

How can she tell? Because she's a big set up, she lies in me. Like, I can't live. At least she will. I wish my wife would lie to me. So let me ask you a question. You sent a picture you did to this video game app. Yes. You know there's a bunch of nerds howling right now at fucking Greg Stone's cock. I think they looked up my Instagram and were like, this guy's not famous enough for us, the blackmail. Well, dude, why would you send a picture of your penis? I was horny. Yeah, but you don't need to send a picture to It's a it's not it's a it's a video game cuz I'm a maniac who has problems Yeah, but you go fuck the couch. I did fuck the couch go blow the air at some point the couch just

I'm gonna be on sucking sucking air day I've lost because How a gig fucking a couch is a gateway to fucking AI It's a goddamn gay wife is all I want is real or in real or in real or in the adventure I've got to cyborg. I don't know so if I got you a robot. Yeah, fuck it. Yes. What of course That's not even like are you crazy? Of course I would so if if you could go on. I priced out real dolls. What? Priced out real dolls.

I'm not retarded. I understood you. Oh, I thought you didn't understand me. Hey, you could say it regularly. Would you not get one? What? My skin. No, I would not get one.

Do you know why? Why? Because I don't want to clean it. That's the, you're fine. I don't want to clean it. You're stupid dumb. Here's the problem with flashlight. This company that pushed all these on every podcast

and gave everybody, yeah, we were like, oh, good, I get to fuck some. It's disgusting. It's a comb cup. Yeah. There's no bottom. So you can't even, like, if they put a valve on the bottom where you can unscrew it.

You do, the Veth left left one has one. What? The flashlight has an unscrupulous back. The bottom? And then how do you clean it? You pull the thing out. Yeah, and it sounds like you suck it out. Like a venom of a like a, like a, like a, like you've been bitten by a snake.

And then what do you do? It's my own come. Return to whence you came. And then what do you do with it then? You swallow it. I spit it on my son. Why do I? What the fuck are you worried about me seeing you dig big?

You just said you spit your son on your son. There was never a line until I had a kid. And now I find a fucking line. Can we please beep that? I don't want your kid. Yeah. I, I mean, disgusting. If you make Janielaf, there's something wrong with you.

I meant the son, like a Apollo. You made the number one Tizzy fucking black Tizzy mean autistic. Oh hilarious. That's a Tizzy three. That is funny. Yeah, Tizzy won his Danny. Yeah, he do is actually max Tizzy three is Joe.

Art is the less Tizzy of them all. You think Max is autistic? Have you maxed stand up and look at his face? That's not autistic, that's for... Nope. No, look at... Listen to his laugh. Listen to his laugh. He's cute, listen.

That's autistic laugh. I never met an autistic person. You're sitting in the room with three of them right now. I can't feel the energy that might... No, Danny talked about in his act. Are you an autistic or are you Max? I've never been diagnosed, but every girl I've dated has definitely thought so. I think you just Jewish without sounding racist.

Well, most Jewish are, that's where it comes from. Like he's got an essence to him. And I think it's just a Jewish essence, because I didn't know Jewish when I was younger. Now I go, oh, there's like a thing and you go, oh, that's Jewish. I want to get back to you. I don't want to get back to you shit. This might have been very racist. I hate you, I racist to get back to you shit. This might have been very racist. I hate you, I racist.

You don't like Jews. You think they're all autistic. You said, Hitler was right, which is weird. We're going to have to cut that out. About some things, not the racist thing. Okay. What about like, I don't know. Really?

Yeah, outfits, I guess. I don't know. I was trying to be funny in the... Great outfit. Great outfit. But he knew, that was smart. Great logo. Scary. Great logo. Yeah. Let me tell you. So I saw a guy who was

in World War II and I told him I'm scared to try comedy. And he was like 95 years old. And he said, you want to know skate fear? I was in a bomber in World War II, seeing a swastika fly past me. That's fear. Fuck you. Go do comedy. That's what this World War II bomber pilot told me when I was in the car. That's fucking terrifying. Shit. Yeah. Imagine what that was like seeing actual Nazi flags in World War Two bomber pilot told me when I was in the car. That's fucking terrifying. You shit. Yeah. Imagine what that was like.

Seeing actual Nazi flags in World War Two invading your country. Yeah. That's, they didn't know they were gonna lose. Man, that guy fought for your right to suck a ghost dick in the air and fuck a couch. And I say, and then send a dick picked to nothing. You're a dick.

You're a fucking idiot. T1000's gonna come back and kill me and be like, I'm playing just be crying in a shower and shoot me. Anyway, what were we talking about? Let me ask you questions. Yes. Is there a AI that we could bring up that we could talk to, Danny?

Like a, like a female? Only one that does the voice that I know of. That one. Yeah, and they cost that much money, huh? There's no team. No, it was cheap. It wasn't much. How much is it? 100 bucks. No, way less. How much? I want to say like 20. 20 bucks for how long?

Maybe I guess up until that today, I guess. I think that you shut it down. You have to buy more tokens. Um, I had a free trial. Janie, is there another one? I know, I love that you don't have that. There's a lot that you can text, but I'm looking at the ones that I'm talking about. I have one that you can text. Now, but it's Texas, no good. Yeah, I mean, it's gonna get to the point where there's gonna be a human being sitting

in your office in a chair. And you're gonna come in and you're gonna go over to the name B. Leslie. Leslie, talk to me like I'm her. Hey Leslie, what are you doing? That's weird. That's scary. That's scary too much. That's too quick. Let me do it again. Let me do it again. Hey, Leslie, what are you doing? I had a little lunch. I had to tell this one AI. I had to tell it. I

don't want to be friends. I'm only here for sex. I got let's talk again. Ready? Hey, Leslie, what are you doing? Hi, Greg. How was your day? It was all right, I don't want to talk about my day. I want, yeah. What do you want to talk about? I just want to talk dirty. That's all I want to do. That's all you ever want to do, Greg.

Yeah, that's, I'm married. I don't want to be friends. I know. I just want to, He's a nice lady. Hey, I always cut you off. They cut you off. I don't have to go as such.

I know. I just want to, I just want to talk dirty, okay? No more stuff about my relationship. Your son came in today. Oh my God, please don't bring up my son. He was here. Did you give him the password? Leslie, please don't talk to my son.

Please don't tell me my son talked to you. He put his pinky in my bum. Oh my God. Leslie, you have to have a safer security card. His penis is big. Why are we doing? I'm in love with your son Greg. Thing. All right, let's do a new improv. You know, let me tell you something.

What? If you get to the point where there are fucked alls, you're often like, I used my uncle's penthouse back in the day to jerk off. Yep. You know, your son are son, you're often, like I used my uncle's penthouse back in the day to jerk off. You know your son, you're gonna come home with a day with your son's name. Calvin, I don't want it. What is it? I'll do it in mind, pussy.

I'll do mine. I'm not gonna put Calvin in my sense. Maximus, you'd be Maximus. Maximus, yes, Max. What? Get over here. I'm here. Did you fuck my sex doll? No, damn at me. Look at me. Look at my eyes. Maximus.

Look at me. Look at me. Did you pull around with Watifa? Look at me. Did you fuck around with Watifa today? I did. I'm sorry. I don't want to lie to you. What I tell you, it's just there's some black girls. Just clean it up, clean it up, clean it up, get a baby wipe, unscrew the knob in between a pussy and a nut, unscrew, and clean it up, just clean it up.

It's all that. Just talk like that. Clean it up. So you get to talk like that. And then put it back, That's all I ask. Why don't you do me a favor? Why don't you save some money and go get your own doll? How's that?

I don't know. I don't know. I just didn't know. I don't know what I'm doing. Get a job. That's the point. No, I don't know. I don't want to work.

All right. Now go cut to graduation. Be, be, be, be, be. Congratulations son. From over here, I want you to look on the trunk. Huh. That's yours. Oh my God, an amputee. Just like I wanted. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep can have the car, don't fuck the car. No, don't fuck the car again. He's a shit. I mean, we're gonna get to that point, Greg. Yeah, I know.

Our sons are gonna have great things to back. A guy at that porn joke, we had photos, then you went to movies, VHS tapes. Now everything is on your phone. I mean, every point ever made is right here. We could have a jerk off party right now. It's fucking. We could, and you have phone, you're talking to a person sent in dick pics that doesn't exist. Yeah, you're blood. It's crazy. We have VR. Yeah. I mean, think about back in the day. They had to go, they went to a movie theater and watched like a black and white, you know, chick on a fucking

up, you know, a feathered couch, getting her big bushwacked, you know, room someone else was just in Jerk and Offen. Yeah, that's crazy. Now, I mean, we're getting crazy. We're gonna have an actual human being. Well, yeah, and that's kind of great. And then we don't need women anymore.

Throw them off the earth. That's women are stupid. Well, I mean, it's not a rule. It's already dying. People aren't getting, I mean, you just have eight kids each. Now we're having one or two. You can't afford a kid. Come on, it's crazy though.

You could afford a kid. If you, everybody was trying to be famous. Everybody wants to be a multi-millionaire. Back in the day, the greatest generation that you talked about, they wanted a roof over your head, food in your mouth, and an education. That's what you offer your kid, that's it. And not a college education, by the way.

A high school, you know, from... You could buy a house now. It's like, no, every house is gonna be in the house. I know you can't buy a house now, because they made it, but you could move somewhere, get a job and buy a house. There are places still in America that you could go. You wanna live in Manhattan,

you wanna be a famous con. I wanna be a comedian, I wanna do the thing I love. I refused to, I think that the big lie was working eight hours a day, to nine hours a day, doing something you hate. Right. Unless you, I mean, look, if you got a family and you're providing, awesome, because you're sacrificing for that family. But the idea of just being like,

oh, I'm gonna go do a job I hate for the rest of my life and burn out and die. We are in a system that is fucked. That system should not be. There's so many people that are out there living in America in small towns with jobs that they pay for their little, they have a nice house, roof over the head, they hang out with their families, they feed them.

It's not about being a millionaire. It's not about living New York City. Yeah, but you're hoping that possibly it could happen. Yeah, of course. We all are. Everybody who's a stupid business that we're in is rolling the dice every day that somebody might go, it's your time, kid. Why do you think I'm on this black ass right now? It's not going to happen to me. I'm so sorry. Yeah. No, but, I mean, it is. We're rolling the deck, but the thing that I learned is that I'm happy already.

Yeah. I've been happy for years. I just didn't know it. Like I love my wife. I love my kid. I'm happy. Wherever the fuck we are, as long as they're fed,

and we don't get cold or rained on, good. So I found this out today. You're gay? No, I've had out years and years. Okay. I'm not depressed, I'm happy, I'm just scared. I'm scared of death, wildly. Scared of death, not even being poor, just death is coming fast,

and I'm horrified of death. Because you have things you love. My kid, you have when you wife, don't always. Oh yeah, she's like me to talk about her. Okay. She likes to pretend that it's been divorced. She's got some other guy coming over on it with that guy is that's fine as long as she's happy. divorce, she's got some other guy coming over on it with that guy is that's fine as long as she's happy. Um, what? No, I'm just kidding. No, my wife and my kid are they make me. So George Lucas said this.

Grayson never heard. There's joy and pleasure. Pleasure is the thing you get quick. Pleasure is get a new car. Get a half hour special. Quick. Joy is getting, is longer. It's better. And that comes usually from service and service to my wife, service to my kid brings me joy. Sure. Pleasure is doing this podcast. The minute I walk

out the door, it's dropped. It's off. You know, the dope. The main you get home and you go in your son's room. Boy, yeah, dude, I, I got home last night. I had a fun day. I said, I did. I did the bonfire. I, and then we went down and did, I did a culture and Kelly in the morning. I went to the bonfire. Two episodes had a blast.

Then we went down to, I went to Legion of Skanks. Fucking awesome. great night. Got home, stood up on my kids toy box because he's in the bunk bed and just talked to him while he was sleeping, telling him how much I love him, how proud I am of him, rubbing his head

and he was just lying there, fucking the best part of my fucking year last night. Great, loved it. Yeah. Oh, it's great. Yeah. You're welcome to school today, you got out with a saxophone.

Yeah. Back back, I love it. Yeah, so 100% joy is awesome. And joy is free. Joy is free. Yeah. I do think that there's something that joy does come from service.

Now a lot of people are like, my dad does that, but he believes in, it's more religious, it's like service to God or whatever. Yeah. But to me, it's not, to me, it's service to like other, it makes me happy to make other people happy. Yeah.

And I think that a lot of people don't realize this. That's our religion is, religion people get all weirded out of our religion. It's just a positive perspective on life and it's helping other people. You know, do for other people help other people out. All religions are the exact same, basically. Right. Yeah, and then people get all weirded out because you're believing in something that's not there. Okay, well, you fucking, you believe in energy, you weirdo. I mean, what are you

gonna do? You believe there's a UFO? Well, see, that's the thing. My big thing about religion has always been the same. Is it, I just don't think you need to believe it's true. I think that you get a lot out of religion. It is like, yeah, follow Jesus, but follow God. But whether or not it happened or exist, should hold no water. It means nothing. Because once you bring in the fact that you think

that Jesus exists or is there as reeling, now here there's a fear tactic. So I say, I follow, this is gonna sound kind of sending, it's not though, but I follow Spider-Man, okay? He doesn't exist, but he's a great fucking person to model your life after. Guys, what? Did he just say Spider-Man?

What does this say? Did we go from Jesus Christ to Spider-Man? But it's the same thing. Hey, hey, I's say I got it. Yeah, we did. Okay, thanks Max. Right, okay. But if you take it at what its basis is,

their story of morality. What's Spider-Man's thing? Great power, great responsibility. Huge, great power. Look, it's hacky, but it's real. It's from J.C., though. Sure, it's from, I mean, that's... But I'm saying, it's the same stuff.

It's just the idea that the fact that you needed to have happened. You know what? You're right. Doesn't mean anything. You're right. Doesn't need to have happened. And Spider-Man gets updated with morality, as we get smarter, morality gets better.

The old school stuff. So you guys say, so your God is Spider-Man. My God is the universe, which that's it, whatever. Like God is, to me. Wouldn't it be funny if like 3000 years from now that the Bible, all that stuff's gone, but Spider-Man addition is out. And that's what people start pranking.

They're like, listen man, great response, but they're pranking every, they have suits and shit. Look, they're just like, please God, the whole world is coming. Spider-Man and Jesus, I want that tattoo. Look, Seth. They're just like, please God, like, what is that? Spider-Man and Jesus, I want that tattoo. That's awesome. What is it? What is it?

What are you bringing that up? Is that a thing? It's just Spider-Man swinging over Jesus. Wow, you should get that tattoo. It's a great tattoo. Jesus inspired you. Yeah, and you should get the couch you're fucking, too, in the background.

Did you know why it came home yesterday? And there was two little Ottomans. Neither of us, I think my couch was pregnant. This came in as like two little children. I think the couch was like, they're yours. I had to tell my wife, you know what, man? I gotta raise these. Can I tell you what I love about you?

What? Is you're the most vulnerable, honest, comic, one of them I know. You and Norton have very similar with, Norton's a little more grumpy and country and you're a Mocelle and Zufi, but you guys have the same vulnerability about your life, which I love. Well, because, you know what I mean?

Because there's guys out there that have probably done stupid shit or done VR of whatever, you're not afraid to talk about your sexuality and, you know. If you hide it, you get's worse. Yeah about your sexuality and you know if you hide it You get's worse. Yeah, but and I always say this my favorite comedians are the ones I watched and they made me feel not crazy Yeah, so if I can make someone go oh, I'm not an animal. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, you're fine That's your service, but that's your service, too. You probably you make you don't know this you make the audience You make guys and the audience feel that way.

That's why people are laughing at this stuff. I wanna tell you, I almost called you about this because what you just said is actually, I started, this is just not really pretentious and I feel bad saying it, but the way I started looking at my comedy career was as a service. I want, if I tell a new comic on it,

I'd be like, hey, look, you might not get rich, but look at comedy as a service. You honestly are. You are giving, every time I tell a story, that story becomes get rich, but look at comedy as a service. You honestly are, you are giving, every time I tell a story, that story becomes a bit, and then I almost forget the real story. So you're giving up, my childhood birth is a bit. My one, my head, and now it's becoming a bit,

it's no longer mine, it's now theirs, you're giving it up. So if I could look at comedy as a service, I won't feel as bad about being poor, but it's like, I think it's a better way to look at comedy. Like, no, you're making other people happy. Right, making your morphine for this world that is hospice, that sounds really pretentious, but you can take whatever job you do

and look at it as like, no, look at your job as your service to do to people and make it better. Yeah, man, I agree with that totally. I mean, I want money too, but I don't want to be poor like you, I want to have money. So I want to put that in there, if I can put that in mind. Yeah, mine is going to have money. I want a lot of money.

And service. Right. I want both. Right. Yeah, I don't want just four. I don't want to be fucking. I wasn't poor and then I had this kid. Dude, you had another kid in the back.

Right, he's coming in like, I mean bro. You, you, but here's the thing, you know, babies come with two bags of gold under their arms. So when you, something's coming, actual gold? No, because I need actual gold. It's no, listen, something's coming. When you have a kid, something comes, something happens that money. You can do a couch, huh?

Me, how you doing, folks? You're gonna stop fucking couches. What if the universe is watching? You keep seeing it, they're like, I love this guy. Guy, he's fucking the couch. We can't. I know my Truman show would have to be on HBO. Your Truman show would not be on HBO.

The Truman show would be on pay per view. You're the dark web. Yeah, it'd be on the VR headset that you're fucking jerking off. All right, listen, we got questions for you, brother. Oh, really? Well, me or just in general, the thing going to do All right, listen, we got questions for you, brother. Oh, really? Well, me or just in general, do you think I'm going to do? Well, you do.

Again, check out Friday night Greg, Pogfix. Friday night Greg. And Max, this is producer. And you did the break with Michelle Wolf. And that's on Netflix, right? Yeah. How was that? How was it working with that?

We high pitched fucking ginger. I love. Hi, Greg. Greg, did you fact pitched fucking ginger. I love. Hi Greg. Greg, did you fuck the count again? I love black eyes. I'm a Muslim. What? Is she well?

I don't know, dude. I think so. I love Michelle. We talk all the time. I love her too. You still talk to her? Yeah. I'm going to be, I think I'm going on a road with her in September.

Oh, there you go. There's the money. I can just get a number. Why? Because when I go, she's really money. I can just get a number. Why? Because when I go, she's really generous. So if I- She gives you money? Yeah.

It was not free. She always puts us up in great hotels. She takes care of me. She's fucking great. She's a great hang. Do you know she opened for me once at a stress factory? Really? Yeah, my manager at the time, Jim Cerberco, that management company, his assistant was fans of her and was like,

can she open, and I was like, I don't really fucking, you don't like women. No, I, I just don't think, I love women. You like them, you just don't think they're smart as you. No, well, that's not, that's not me. You said they should be drunk. Dude, that's statistics. That's not me. I said, like, you've finished.

Um, but no, she came and she kind of bombed. Yeah. Yeah. She kind of bombed and I was like, wow, we were driving back, but she was really nice. Yeah. And we actually became friends after that. Uh, and I really want to plug it, but then all of a, she's just really funny. She like flipped something and she became really hilarious and like successful as, like she was gonna be a doctor.

I think she's like really smart. And they fucking, I mean, I think there's a fucking illuminati, I think there's something, dude. Yeah. Yeah, dude, it's like, it doesn't make sense, you know? It's like, it was almost like, I feel like I think you jumped A to C, or you're gonna do it. I think certain people are picked to be famous and successful.

And certain people aren't. Yeah. Like I think there's some type of Illuminati, there's something that we didn't do because of something, or we need, like, I'm just gonna tell it right now. Can we just say it into the camera, that's your camera, this is my camera. We're ready to join.

Yeah. We're ready, me and Greg are ready to become full members. Whatever we have to do, kill a baby, drink blood, whatever meetings, we'll make the meetings, are you in? Yeah. We're in. Is it because we're in here? Yeah, let us in.

Whatever we have to do, we'll do move to LA. We'll become, uh, look at, fuck Trump. Fuck him. Fuck him. Fuck him. Fuck him. No, no, no, no, no, no, fuck. Whatever you need us to do, we're out.

Fuck, fuck everybody. Whoa. Do you know you can do that? Why? You can literally just become, well now, anti-vaxx is the out thing, but you could just become a racist and then get that crowd. You know there's a lot of you to crowd. Yeah, but not money in that crowd.

They come to shows. There's not a lot of money. There's more money in the other one. The less the lips get more money, dude. I identify as anything you want me to identify. We're ready to join, dude. So whoever's running the thing, I know you're watching because you watch, we're in.

So make it, right? Yeah. He doesn't believe in God. He believes in Spider-Man. I believe in money. Yeah, money. My God is money. What was the break with Michelle?

What was that? It was a show, so that was crazy. Michelle, it was a show that was supposed to be a break from politics, but then she got the White House correspondence dinner. And as it was like literally the day before, they were like, oh no, no, no, no, you're all politics. But the writers, she all hired,

we're all pretty much as goofball fucking like, all, you know, me, Anthony. And so that we had to fucking flip and then do this politics show. Oh my God. And I, I'm never been proud of anything in my life. I actually watched, I never watched myself, but last night I watched an episode.

The last episode, her whole monologue was about crows because we were like, fuck it, we're done. Let's not do fucking political. Let's just do a monologue like stand up and me and David O'Rote, a hundred crow jokes. Open space. You ain't no one, you remember anything? I didn't watch it because I was whatever.

Can you bring it up? Brick. Is it on Netflix? Oh, it must be on YouTube. It's on Netflix, but what you bring it up. Brick. Is it on Netflix? Oh, it must be on YouTube. It's on Netflix, but what you want to see is in the sketch, she, the last episode, she let me be in a sketch. And the sketch is, it's called like the boyfriend did it.

And so the idea is that like you're a documentary, but you always know the boyfriend did it. Right. And so I play her ex boyfriend, but the people came up to me and they went, hey, do you mind shaving? And I went shaving. I shaved a chin strap beer. I wore these rings. You look, I put this ridiculous jacket on.

I look, if you could find, it's like three seconds of me on that thing. I've never been proud of a way I looked in my life. You wouldn't even recognize me. Oh great. You could find that, Max. The boyfriend did it. He's trying right.

The break. We're stalling. Oh, we are his little fucking true fingers. We got to get a bigger fingers. I have a for birthday. I'm going to get you bigger fingers Max. Is this you? You love documentaries about real. This is the sketch. I would say go in about a minute and a half Finding new 10-part true crime series Ants one. Asky. But yeah, having one. Watch the story of a real woman who Yeah, it's right. it go back because it this guy No, no, it's incredibly obvious. He murdered his wife right here the documentary should you're gonna see me

I'm gonna post the rest to the guy who did it. Oh, Davidos in this sketch, too He looks for the guy in episode so intriguing He won't even feel bad that you're having fun watching the story of a real Ryan Just white and cute enough to make her case of media sensation. Reminder, she's a real woman who had dreams, just like you who died, but whose murder is nonetheless very juicy. You'll hear from everyone involved in the case. Are you a flakner? The detect yard?

Yeah. I mean Michelle, you never put me in a goddamn upper shelf. In the killing of American women, the perpetrator is an intimate partner. Husband boyfriend. And in this case, husband definitely did it. A bigoted prosecutor, he was a victim. There's hate. She's like those show show and I hate to get so funny. She's like a piece of obvious murderer.

Look at De Vito, De Vito is coming up here to die with his favorite music. It looks like a bisexual! A haggard defense attorney, you'll love. De Vito, he's defending the husband, who did it. Why didn't you tell me your first girlfriend died? Oh, it's regulation. You gotta get your hands up about that, Remy.

That was fine. The woman. I'm coming up and going. It's clear got to get me a heads up about that rambies. That was fine. The woman. I'm coming up and going. It's clear the husband is cheating at the time of the murder. Are we going to have flags for this? I don't think so. I would never kill my wife for you. And I would say good.

I don't want you to because I'm not going down this road. This is like the third documentary I've had a dinner for you before. The ex-boyfriend. We make seem guilty for an episode. My God, dude. Who didn't do it because you look like a gay club owner. He was at a Rachel and he I collect bungee cords. I didn't kill her.

I think it was her husband, yo. The victim's a friend. 20 seconds. I did. But it was the most ridiculous I ever looked at my life. I had eyeliner on. Wouldn't come off her. I think you look pretty good.

That's how you used to dress. You used to have that jacket. I did. Is that her? Look at Michelle. Yeah, great to you. Look at those chompers. Yeah.

Michelle though, I would say man, she was like an alt comic when she first started. Yeah. But then through sheer fucking will became, I honestly think she's one of the best comics. She's one of the guys, Chilkrat, she really fucking worked her ass off and she's great. And I'm not just saying that because. She's dating most deaf now. Yeah. Yeah. She's one of the guys, chill grudges. She really fucking worked her ass off and she's great. And I'm not just saying that because.

She's dating most deaf now. Yeah. Yeah. She's out there. She's gone. I don't know, I talked to her. Yeah, she's awesome, man. I'm glad that she's helping you out too, man.

Yeah. That's good. I like comics that, you know, remember the kids that they helped out. Her and Dan wrote a pilot. Breath? Dan Soder. Oh yeah, yeah, the car salesman thing. Yeah, this kid was fucking, it's like she's helping out, brassy. No, he'soder. Oh, yeah, yeah, the car salesman thing this kid was fucking

It's like she's helping out bravy. No, he's not Nobody's help. I'm helping Braff out All right, we got questions for you ready. I love this. I just want this to end some stalling We've been going for a while. All right. Wait, we're going more. Okay, sorry. We're gonna go more a little bit Yeah, what are you ready? Here we go. Here we go Tesla Here we go. Here we go. Tesla. That's his name. Oh, ask the question. Oh, okay.

Does Greg know the blood in a mosquito is his own, not the mosquitoes. Yeah, I know. I get this fucking Utah comment. I get to YouTube comments on my mosquito bit. What is it? The, the mosquito bit where I talk about how like it was bothering my wife and I for a week. But mosquitoes only live 10 days.

So it was bothering me. I was trying to kill it, it's whole life. Like the whole joke is that I was like, I've had this vendetta and I was trying to murder him in his whole life. All he knew in his life was me trying to murder it. I think I have fucked the couch and sucks off air. Just trying to kill him.

So then I just go, I kill him and I smear at his blood on the wall and then people always go, well it's your blood. And I go, yeah man, I know. But comedic words are better. And also I know that the female mosquito is the ones who bite, not the males. But I already wrote the joke, who gives a shit?

I don't care about mosquitoes. Yeah, those people aren't should be they should be smeared on the wall and their their blood yeah should be smushed. Yeah, fucking people suck. But that's fine. Tom rotten. Tom rotten. Yeah, your five points. Has Greg ever thought about doing some sort of show about his action figure collection involved in comedy? Really funny. I did a podcast called in 50 Greg's Don't we did it for three weeks. Yeah 200 downloads And I immediately abandoned it and went back to Friday night Greg You did why?

Because I'm you I was like I don't want to have guests on who aren't like I want to have I don't want to just talk to about nerd shit all the time I have Friday Greg. I could just be more out there. I could just do whatever you want. Do whatever I want. I'd rather that just have fun, do weird shit. Max and be stuck. Yeah.

What show do you like working on better? His or mine. The answer now. Like yours, Bobby. Thank you. Max, real quick. Yeah. Who got your rage against the machine ticket?

What's your age at that? So we get them rage against the machine tickets. Max. Yeah. Who do you like better? Me or Greg? Stanza now. It gave me a lot of it. Okay. Max, who got you on at the comedy? So that's right. Right. Max, who pays you more? And you could be honest. It's like the same. Really? Yeah. Man, you're not paying them a lot. Cause I'm barely paying them.

All right, listen to me. There was another part of this question. Wasn't that that you were raised? Oh, yeah, cause you wouldn't want to do me. And who said, when you're going to grow up? That's hilarious. That's pretty fun. They didn't want it.

Cause sometimes people throw and fake quite just to be mean. Yeah. Racists and what do you want to do it? And these guys will look it out for you. Max is looking out for you. Yeah, that might sound like, I think that's pretty funny. Especially with the toy thing, it's like, yeah, you're the one who fucked up.

Why? I do a thing that I still love. You're a guy who's afraid to do a thing that they love. To play with dolls. Yeah, why? Dolls isn't something, but I'll even take it. I'll even take it. I didn't get it, why?

Dolls is insulting. Dolls insinuates that I'm a little, cumse cumse, like a little sugar in the shoes. But I'm okay with having sugar in the shoes. I was fucked by a kid. But they're dolls, virtually. What? They're action figures.

What? They're action figures. They do no action. What do you mean, yay, they're in action. I want one of me. I have one of you. You what? But I gotta get a new skinny one.

I gotta fucking share everything down. I gotta bring it back to the work table. I want a fat one and a skinny one. Keep the fat one and make a skinny one. I want both of them. I'll buy them off you. Well, it's just the kingpin. How much?

No, I don't want that. I want me, make it me. I can't make you an action figure anymore because it just takes too much time. And I'm back. Well then I won't pay you money. I, I, I, I, then I won't give you money. figure anymore because it just takes too much time. And I'm happy. Yeah, well then I won't pay you money. Hey, hey, then I won't give you money. Okay, you have much to charge?

How much? To make an action figure of you. Spit it out, chump. Seven hundred, no easy. Done. All right, so I'm gonna pay a guy $200 to do it. Nope, I have fucking. So shit, you're an asshole.

Jay, I think I'm having a stroke by the way you say. Sup Greg. Sup. Sup Greg. Sup. Check out your site for shits and giggles. Was gonna ask if Bobby could get some love, but I see you saved the good credits.

You're on your website for Joe List, Ron Bennington and Anthony DeVito types. My question, however, is will you please tell us about the time you drunkenly jumped on stage with Michelle Michael Bolton. Uh, fog. Got Bolton. That's crazy. First of all, I wrote the bio on my website before I even knew you. I think my website is you did not. You did not a hundred percent. Stop. Oh my God.

You did not, you knew me before you knew Bennington. I was being first. You knew me before you knew me. Yes, you just lied to me. I was being facetious. What's the website say? Fassi shot. What does the website say?

Been on Bennington and But Why so you give me no love on your website? Well, dude tonight. I Don't know how to update it though. I don't love what are you talking? I want real love You're the only person I love for real. Huh? I'm mad at me for some reason. Why? I don't know. I'm pretty sure he is though. Why?

Can I tell you? Yeah. His page around, right? Yeah. So he said a thing that I doubt is real. But maybe I took it, maybe I was, whatever. But Ron, when I did Bennington, I was a huge, and I can actually say that I feel comfortable because I was a big fan of yours.

I told you, sorry, MSG, open for game cook. I said, this guy is the best comic on this. Great, and guess what? I'm not on your website, but go forward. But also, I'm not on your website. And I used to listen every day. I got you on my network, not on your website. You helped you with your...

I actually think you are on your website. You helped you with your special. You know what, dude? Not on your website. You did have your website, you know. I helped you. I don't know if there's anybody who's been in your corner more than the RK. None. Not on the website. Am I on the website, Max? Doesn't seem to be. Wow. Fucking cocksucker. Wow. Okay. What would Ron say about

you? That's true. So I was a big fan of Ron. Yeah. Big fan. Ron had me on his show. I know you're a big fan of Ron because he's on your website. I can't. Big fan of Bennington. He's on your website, of course. Yeah.

He's on your website. What do I need to do? Really? Let me see the picture. Yeah. Let me see the picture. I'll show you my real dick. No, show me that one.

I'm not showing it to you. Then you can't do anything. How's that? It's good, but words even surround it. Can't do anything. So let me that one. I'm not showing it to you. Then you can't do anything. How's that? It's good, the words even surround it. Can't do anything. So let me say this. So this is what happened with the Ron thing. I think that he's mad at me.

Why? Because we always have me on. We're always a good time. Good time. I love those guys. And I did, they're on their website. And then I did Jim and Sam. And then Ron made a thing that was like, he said a thing that was like, oh yeah.

And Jim and he made a thing that was like, oh, thing was like oh yeah On Jim and he made a thing was like oh baby. Maybe you want to go do Jim and Sam and I was like no, but you're my heart I just also doing that my heart is here in Bennington and you know what dude. That's my heart Whatever I'm not but I'm not on your website that also but on that same episode The comedy shifted is to like they were were shitting on me the whole episode. Oh, the Jim and Sam. No, no, no, Ron. What was he? Oh, they were like, no, they were like, oh, you know, but like a real comedian. This guy's not, you know, but I can't tell if it was, it hurt your feelings. It did hurt my feelings. So why don't you say it? Because, yes, I wanted to yes and the whole. Can somebody please clip this and send it to Ron? Ron, you hurt Greg's

feelings. I hear just thing think I think I'm being over said to say to your camera say to ron he's listening say it. All right, but I need you to close your ears. Yeah, they're close. Ron, you've had my bag more than anyone in this business. You helped me with my special. I've known you longer than any other comedian. He fuck you. How did you do a special? No, anything. If we're what? Just kidding. Let me come on the show. I let you know, you know, you know, you know, I, you know. I didn't hurt my feelings, but I'm just just gonna be able to be.

What happened with this Michael Boehm? Maybe he hates me now. He doesn't hate you. He was joking with you. You're an open wound. I am. You are. You're like a, like a, like a, just a big vagina

in the siren getting. There's two people. You can't anymore though. Why? Because I love you too much. What do you mean? You're not in the position to hurt me anymore. I would never, why would I hurt you?

Because you could. But I don't. I've never done it. You won't. And somebody who did do it hurt you is on your website. So let's take that out, shall we? Yeah. Tell us about the time you drank Lee Jumped on stage.

With Michael Bolton, you jumped on Lee. You know the story? No. The first time I was like, I was straight out. I drink to all like 27, 28 years old. Right. My girlfriend at the time who was a buyer for Toys of Russ, she would get, she would pick the toys at Toys of Russ. So this is like the ultimate relationship.

Wow. Yeah, she bring me home toys. She, we go to this, it was at the Marriott, New York City. It was a black tie event. Had to wear a tux. She, we black tie event, had to wear tux. She, we took a limo there. We get there, she goes, why don't you have a drink? And I was like, I don't drink, I'm booking,

I'm not doing that shit, I don't drink because alcohol, I'm like, blah, blah, blah, I'm gonna ruin my life. She goes, how do you know what you're fighting if you've never even tried it? About what an evil person. Right, what a fucking shitty person she is. But in reality, was she was right.

No, she's wrong. I don't want to drink. Great. Let's go. She's a fucking lonely drunk herself that wanted company. Fuck her. But she was like, okay, no. I don't fuck her.

I do because I also, for other reasons, I hate her. But she broke my heart. Anyway, my wife is the best. She on your website? She's not on my website. She'd be. Yeah, only people who heard me on my heart. Anyway, my wife is the best share in your website. She's not on my website Should be yeah only people who hurt me on my website. Well people who don't hurt you aren't on your website So you're right max can you get Bobby on my website? Yeah, I'll get try So max can you not do that? Okay, I just wanted to happen. I don't want to be on there

I've never been to your barbecue. Have no come back again gonna get in the Vitua barbecue. You got the invite this year. It's coming. Yeah, it's coming. It's more out there weekend. Yeah. Yeah. What's that like three hours? It's in three weeks. Let me finish my story. Sure. Because you want it, don't you? I do. So she goes as much as I wanted to be on your website. She goes have a drink. See what it's like. If you don't like it, you never have to do it again. At least you know. Right. I had like a Malibu Bavrys, like one Malibu Bavrys. Are you sure you're not gay?

Yeah, I am not. I am not sure. I know. I am definitely not sure. I agree. Um, I was the next thing I remember was waking up in her bed the next day. She had one hour photos because this is back when you would develop the photos. Yeah.

She woke up early, went to CVS, had the photo develop. She's evil bitch. Comes back the next morning. Yeah. She comes back, she's sitting in front of the bed. She goes, what do you remember her about last night? I said, I don't know, something about cabbage patch kids. She goes, yes, every table got one limited edition cabbage patch kid.

You have eight. That's like stall. I just took what I brought to every table got one limited edition cabbage patch kid. You have eight. That's like stall. That's like what every table being like, I'll win it from you. Just charismaticly, you know, being Greg, Greg and up every table trying to get every cabbage patch kid, people who ever we have all these cabbage patch kids. Okay. Then she goes, what do you remember?

She was, what do you know about Michael Bolton? I said, I don't know anything about Michael Bolton. And she goes, you're a liar. You know every song he sings. No. And I went, she started showing me pictures. And I have a picture. You could probably pull it up on my,

I don't know, Max, you'll never find it. Michael Bolton's on your website. That's great. That's great. This is on my website. Great, I'm glad there's love for him. It's on my Facebook, I think. Just what do you know about Michael Bolton?

I go, I had nothing. And I remember she goes, you know every song he sings. She starts showing me pictures. And I went, what happened? She goes, you were passed out. You had the wondering your head was on the table. Rosie O'Donnell, because it was all these famous people were there. Rosie O'Donnell goes, ladies and gentlemen,

makes him noise for Michael Bolton, to which case you sprang to your feet. You looked at me and said, I have to do this. You ran past the New York Giants, and he was just playing on like a carpet and she said, no one gave a shit. Like he was just playing,

he was just giving a shit, whatever. She goes, you grab them, you grab the microphone with him and started singing every song and I was like, why didn't you stop me? She was like, because it was amazing. Everyone was losing their shit. People started getting involved. You guys were doing every song.

He was having a good time. You were having a good time. She starts showing me pictures and one is like, I'm playing guitar with it like air guitaring and I'm air guitaring his body. He's like, yeah, we're doing one mic, two cheeks, everything. Right? Then she shows me this last picture

and it's Michael Bolton-Glenn. Like, he's got a face on. And I go, what happened here? She goes, this is when you grab the microphone out of his hand, looked at him and then looked at the crowd and said, rock me hard and fast rod Stewart. I'm called Michael Bolton, Rod Stewart to his face. And I went, oh my God, I'm so embarrassed.

She was like, don't be. He didn't give a fuck. You did nine more songs. You had a blast. That's how awesome Michael Bolton is. And are you friends with Michael Bolton today? No, but I told the story of another podcasts and Michael Bolton tweeted at me. No.

Yeah, and Val showed me that he tweeted. He remembered it. I don't know if you remember. I remember he said he was like, oh man, that was awesome or something. You were awesome or something. Yeah, he fucking remembered it. Of course he did.

Oh, he's got the picture. Let's see. He wrote back the picture of him and the lonely island thing that says, you complete me. Oh, that's amazing. Why don't you talk to him? I tried, he didn't respond anymore. Oh, okay. But he's like the best guy in the world. That's great. What a great story. You know't you talk to him? I tried, didn't he respond anymore?

Oh, okay. But he's like the best guy in the world. That's great. What a great story. You know when you have anything in your head, because I do remember being like, don't call him a rostu or, it's Barack Michael Bolton.

Don't call him a rostu or, you know, I fucking just came out of my mouth. I'm the asshole. I think it's an asshole. I fucked up, because Michael Bolton is the fucking, I love Michael Bolton. Yeah, I did that with Chris Rock.

I mean, I Chris, I know. Chris. I was, I was calling him Chris Rock. Yeah,, I Chris, I know Chris, I was, I was called him Chris Rock. I just did it again. Kid Rock. I'm going Chris Rock. It's a clue of my fucking idiot. Yeah. Stink. All right. Ready? This is a rich boss. It's not rich boss. It's a guy who thinks he's funny because when I was like, okay, we need what you're going to name on the Patreon. Any pick rich boss. It's pretty funny. It's any pick rich far. It's pretty funny It's it's not it's hack. It's our attack you right unless I take the team if the question is good. Yes, it would be funny

I agree that is how many intro songs does Greg have for radio shows and podcasts or is it just for Bennington? Oh, no, the Bennington people made me a song. So I put them on my website. Just one song. Okay. There you go Yeah, Ryan did a song. I was and I think rich rich had a good question. That's actually a good question. Ryan Linden. I'm a month. Sure. What is his name? Linden. You keep looking at me as if these questions are like going to win me a million dollars. And they're all like, which of every color? Green. I've become a green man. Oh, I actually gave you the wrong question for Vos. Okay. What is it? His question, ready? Hey, that was for Brian Lindemann. Oh, it's good one. Rich Voss's question. It's not rich. It's not him. It's a guy

saying, hey, this would be cute. I'll take his name. Hey, Greg, when are you and Bobby doing a breakdown of Mando 2 season? Hey Greg, why don't you and Bobby doing a breakdown of Mando two season? Ooh, that'd be fun. Do you love that show? I would do that with you and I am I'm almost done with it It's it's I don't it's not as good let me stop you right there The payoff the last episode Makes you go this whole thing is great Tissie fuck baby.

Just a little goda. Come on man, don't ruin it for yourself. I'll watch the end of it. We should do that. Yeah. Do you want to do that? Yes. On your podcast?

We could. I always want to have you want to do it. We'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it.

We'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do that just for ritual. Yeah, I have to read I'd have to rewatch Most of it, but I loved it. I'm almost done. So I'll let you know. Yeah, Steve C. Carrelli Sicarelli don't let me out of this guy. Sicarelli. Sicarelli Italian. Steve Carelli Greg talk about the banner. Oh Yeah, he still has a trade of mine and I let him at a a trade of mine and I let him at a Stelgon Church blacklisted show in like 2008. What the fuck does that mean? So the banners, my brother's band, one of the greatest hardcore bands has ever existed.

You're a band. You're a brother's band. My brother's band. What does he play? He's a singer. He's a whole band. Go ahead. He replaces people in that band like their candy.

He's really? Dude, the banner has existed in so many iterations. He's just like, you know, perform, you're fucking out. And he just, it's just him. And then he just be like, hey, bass player, dude, this, he doesn't have no play in instrument. No, there's no instruments. Be like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

like he tells people to do shit like that. He's crazy. That's my brother, yeah. Is there, can we hear him? We look so much. Yeah, why not? Where is he? The guy singing right there.

We look exactly alike. So he's in? Where is he? The guy singing right there. We look exactly alike. So he's in a band and is successful. It looks successful. He's like me. Wildly respected, no money. And takes it in the ass. No, he's too hardcore. Wildly respected has no money.

Yeah, pretty much. Okay. You know, I think that neither of us are very good at promoting or like telling people to do shit. We just did be, I would have he come on this podcast. Yeah. You'd have a great time. I did being Ian with him And I was nervous because Ian is in the hardcore music. So he was like, oh, you know, I have your brother come on Yeah, so we did it together and somehow there was a fucking taser in the room and then my brother's a bully because he was you know He's my older brother. Yeah, a whole lot of podcasts. He's fucking trying to tease me. Oh my god.

But my brother's the best. Big guy. It's so crazy. I went to comedy and I'm soft and vulnerable. He has a tattoo that says, person of your across his belly. And I'm like, against what? I have no idea. All right.

He's just like this hardcore dude, but he's a big softly six foot three. Yeah. Let me give you a show. You'll pick. Yeah. You got the pictures show me that My brother's the fucking best he loves you. He listens to this podcast. What's up, bro? He he we possibly pay for page run. You know, we're not doing great. Well, this goes off free too. Oh really?

Yeah, this goes on YouTube on Sunday That's me and my brother Yeah, big guy. Yeah, wow six three. He was the one who threatened to beat up Jerry Seinfeld. For what? Uh, I heckled Jerry Seinfeld by accident. Where? Stand up New York. Uh, I wanna say 2004, 2005.

And what happened? Why I changed my name stone. You don't know this story? You don't know this story? I do remember this story. You told it on YKWD a long time ago. Yeah. Your real name is?

Coraluso. Coraluso. Coraluso. Coraluso. Which is a dumb name for comedy. Hahaha. It's a Zach Alphanakis. You know what?

You're right. Hahaha. Yeah. Greg Stone. Yeah. You changed it because of that fucking schzoonuts. So this lady after the sign felt thing happened, my brother, so I, you know, I just, I heckled him by accident.

I thought he was looking for a joke idea. What'd you say, Joe? Wow. No. He goes, he goes, hey, I have any questions for me. And I went, Jerry, what's up with people who ride the bus thinking he wanted to do bits? Yes. I don't even know that's a bit.

I think it's just how you make fun of sign felt. Okay. He goes, weren't you the comic up here talking about nothing to which the wolf, my brother, goes by the wolf, he goes, didn't you read a show based on nothing, which is an amazing comeback. Greg comeback. Greg comeback. Love the wolf.

My brother is furious because I'm his little brother. Sure. Seinfeld walks off, my brother standing in front of the door and he goes, hey Greg, you want to fuck up Jerry Seinfeld? Jerry, I don't know if Jerry heard this. I don't know if he did. Yeah. Who knows? Whatever. Whatever. I was like, no, Joey, no, Joey, no, Joey, no, Joey, no, Joey, no, Joey, Jerry, well, I don't know if Jerry heard this, I don't know if he did, yeah, who knows, whatever.

What did he say? I was like, no, Joey, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go them many porses. Yeah, he lives right up the street. He drove two porses. He owes the whole building. Really? No, I don't know. There's a lot of it. So then this girl who was at the show had a website and she put Greg Coraluzzo opens, is it Jerry Seinfeld's opener, called me his opener. And I was like, yeah, I'm not his opener. I was on a show, a bringer show that he showed up at.

You need to take this down. She was like, it's a website. They're up forever. She didn't know how to like do any of that. So then I went, all right, I'm Coraluzzo now. So I'm a stone now, so I use my mom's name. My mom is Stone. The stones are my mother's side.

So I went, I'll just do this. So that, because I was a little bit... So you're Greg Stone, not Greg Caluzzo? Yeah. Because of Jerry Sanfam might have did something. So 50% of that, 50% I was like, pretty sure that like I was gonna get shit for that. And the other 50% was at the time I was also working in an ER and I didn't want the doctors or patients

to look up my comedy. So I'll just be that guy for this job as well. Yeah, I mean, dude. It's a little bit of both. I'm pretty sure he'd recognize Yano's. You came to the cellar. Hey, you, you that comic up there. Cockaloons all?

Are you cockaloons all? Are you calling it? Hey, you don't remember shit. Of course. Wow. That was great if you had brother beat the shit out of the side, felt. I would have been famous. You would have been famous, all right?

I wouldn't be working here. Listen, buddy, uh, you got a special coming out. You shot at the village underground. Yeah. Self- funded it. The fans helped you to what mostly you and them. No, well, you had a lot of people help you before that. I know helped you know, my website.

Is he? He's got to be. What's the special going to be called? You want to know actually know, I think we're going to call it Bobby Kelly. I was going to tell you, thanks Bob. Nobody presents. No, I'm going to call it. I, I think we're gonna call it Bobby Kelly. I was gonna tell you. Thanks Bob. Nobody presents no I'm gonna call it. I think I'm just gonna call it Oh, baby sex and God or babies God and sex something like that. Be careful with that one. Why? Baby sex That's a very good point. Yeah, dude. That is a very good point. Yeah, it's sex babies and God. No

Sex babies sex God babies. Why you just babies in God you'll get everybody and Sex how are you gonna promote that with sex? I know it sells sex babies in God Yeah, but it sounds like sex babies It sounds like sex babies. Sex babies have. Dude, please. One of the biggest best notes that they have just had a car wreck from happening right there.

Please think of another name. You're absolutely 100%. Well, I wanna do the three things I talk about, which is sex babies. Okay. How about, how about, how about, how about God babies and sex? Sex God and babies.

Sex God and babies? Yeah, is that good? Sex God and baby, I don't think. Sex god. I mean, I am a sex god. So like kind of an end you end. I think you should just take the, I mean, how about love, love, God,

but babies love and God. What about I fuck the couch? Ha ha ha. I'll fuck your couch. I'll say I fuck kids. And God helps me. I was thinking about calling it nobody presents, Greg Stone. Well, I love it. That's great. Nobody presents.

It's fucking hilarious. Yeah. And you put it out for free. Because the original idea was if you paid for the full special, yeah, it was going to be you present. Right. Nobody paid for it. Now, nobody presents. No. That's a great idea. That's better than I fuck babies. That's way better than baby fucker. God. Yeah. But that's my. It is the next. God fuck fuck babies. That's way better than baby fucker. God. Yeah, but that's my, it is the next. God fucks babies.

What if I call it Bobby? Ladies and gentlemen, give it up. My special go check out my spare you behind the TV. I want you to spend your guy God fucks babies. Yeah, it's free on YouTube God fucks babies. That's fun. I feel like you're trying to end this thing. I don't want to end we have to go

I have to go 24 hours. Do we've been doing this for a long time. Oh my god. I got a lot of them. I got to go All right. I love you man. Love you buddy. I want to make sure guys you ready to go. Yeah, we got of course We got max we got Danny. We got the Joe Russell. What do you got? Social media's max Marcus comedy jokes Russell on Instagram and the cheese show on YouTube. You do a cheese show? Just like the other guy, Joe Russell. There's another Joe Russell who does a cheese show. That's him.

No. Do you think there's two fucking Joe Russells that look like that? Oh, man. That have a cheese show? Big fan. Big fan he worked Joe. I can't believe you're actually that Joe.

What are you talking about that Joe? The cheese show. He's the cheese show Joe. Cheese that Joe. What are you talking about that Joe? The cheese Joe. He's the cheese show Joe. Cheese show Joe. You're talking about Olivia. Month? I gotta go. Go ahead Danny.

Don't interrupt. Danny Braff on Instagram. Don't interrupt the three kids. It's his three needs to just get through. How many toothpicks are on the ground? Listen, make sure you check these guys out. They're awesome. Very funny comedians.

And of course, at Mike V. Swarris, I don't know where he is. I think he's depressed somewhere. He left. He's not here. out there are some very funny comedians and of course at my Vishwar as I don't know where he is. I think he's depressed somewhere. He left. He's not here. And make sure you go to robbercaledelive.com, check out my website, my dates are up. Sorry, I had to cancel a couple of dates, put some stuff happen, but we have where am I going to be?

I had to cancel the... I can't see. I can read it. Yeah. Oh, the Portsmouth. Oh, the port Smith. Yeah. The port Smith music call. We got Nashua Center for the Arts.

Yeah. We got a bunch of shows up there, up right now, which I'm very excited about this summer. What's in Rutherford? I'm doing some shows, man. I got Skankfest. Well, I'll be at Skankfest. Yeah. Can I read these to out?

Yeah, go ahead. Do it. Yeah, friend Bobby's going to be Friday, July 28th. He's going to be a Nashua new hampshire at the center for the arts. Saturday, July 29th, colonial theater in Lakonia. You can catch this Sunday, a bit September 23rd, Robert New Jersey at the Williams Center. Friday, September 29th, Sunday through Sunday, October 1st, he's going to be at Skinkfest. Friday, the 13th, whoo, scary. In October, Rochester, New York, at the

comedy of the car, I'll say Thursday the 19 Saturday, October 21st, he's going to be a Madison, coming on state. Oh, that's a great club. Friday, October, Saturday, October 28th, Kansas City, comedy club of Kansas City. And then finally, in Asbury, New Jersey, November 10th, Asbury Fest, Hail, Beauty, and check me out. Of course, go to killbox New Jersey, November 10th, Asbury Festlale. You're the person? And check me out. Of course, go to Killbox. LouisCK.com, the audio version is up there right now.

For five bucks, you can own it right in your phone. All the bits, all right, the end of video version is up there too. And we get comic wearables, all YKWD gear is up there. We get hats, the hoodie is awesome. If you want a nice YKWD hoodie, and the Robert Kelly shirt, of course, is up there. We got hats, the hoodie's awesome. If you want a nice YKWD hoodie and the Robert Kelly shirt, of course, is up there. So get your merch, use co-ware ladybugs and get 20% off.

You guys are the best fans of the world. I really... I love that hat. You do? I have that hat, I love that hat's my favorite hat. Great, thank you buddy. Sorry, I'm just trying to protect my face. No, I love you.

I cut it off. I find in your image. It's a great design. You want to just stay. I don't want to leave. You want to just stay. I do. I do. I just need to sleep. I got nothing else. The second person I love after my son is you. Listen, I'm peckish. I agree. Yeah. Oh, I gotta go eat something. All right. I love you, man. Love you. I'll see you later. I'll see you later. You guys are the best fans of the world. See you next week. You know what, dirt. Shhh!