Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - H Foley, Kevin Ryan | Fish Tacos

Episode Date: July 10, 2022

This week Bobbys joined by the "Are You Garbage?" Podcasts H Foley and Kevin Ryan, as we talk Louis CKs new movie Fourth of July, Bobby's extravagant hotel stay in Europe, carry on CPAP machines and m...ore! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. ¿Dónde nadie pregunta de dónde viene? ¿Sino por qué no te viene? Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvida. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos.
Starting point is 00:00:20 Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un humenaje de maú, a Madrid. Informa tencaishabank.es. Caishabank, tu y yo, nosotros. Siempre que se mantenga las circunstancias económico-financeras del solititante en el momento de la solicitud. Buscas contenido gratis. I wanna be free. Pluto TV es el servicio de streaming gratuito con series como South Park o sensación de vivir. Descarga ya la aplicación en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. He's back again. Old school, back in the day. We're all starting before them all. I'm key to the white key to IUD.
Starting point is 00:01:26 This podcast is so fun and crazy. And there's no rules. Shut up! You're ruining this! Brick of War, damn it! I'm sorry. It's a comedy podcast. This is an NPR.
Starting point is 00:01:36 That's the podcast done. Is there any better show? This is the original. Original. What's up everybody? regional what's up everybody uh... the dude the motherfucka the chubby bitch you love so much is back in the studio it's been a while uh... we're back in the studio above the comedy cell laugh button comedy
Starting point is 00:02:01 cell studios and i'm excited to be back with live on patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. Right now, I want to thank all you ladybugs in there in the chat hanging out. Today's show, we got a bunch of questions for our guests. We have a few things we're going to talk about. So I'm excited to be back.
Starting point is 00:02:24 I hope you're excited to see my fat face back in the studio too instead of on a stream yard. And don't get used to it because I'm fucking leaving Friday. So I will be back to September bitches. What? No, but I'll be doing the show every week. I'll be doing I'll be doing more than the show. I'll be doing more than the show. I'll be doing actually, we're gonna start doing extra shows during the summer on stream yard for Patreon only. So we'll be doing the YKWD for all you YouTube fucking Apple download motherfuckers. And then the Patreon solid fucking ladybugs will be doing an extra show for you a week
Starting point is 00:03:06 Up on patreon only with just me on stream yard what you guys seem to like for some reason I don't know why but Anywho Ha great show today. I'm excited to be back. Like I said there's a weird vibe in the studio. There's somebody living in my fucking other room We can't use the bed. I don't know what's happening. I leave for a month and the fucking,
Starting point is 00:03:29 there's a human being living in, I don't know. Living in the room. I don't know how to talk about it. Cause I don't know. Nobody Liz will call me back. She's ignoring me. Literally fucking ignoring, who knows, maybe she'll call me back
Starting point is 00:03:44 or come up during the show. But I can't tell you how happy I am. We had call him on the show, and then he got called to work for dude, that sucks. That's a sucks. It just ruins the whole illusion of podcast. Success, yeah, I gotta go move a couch and fucking Brooklyn walkup. But we also have
Starting point is 00:04:09 Kevin Ryan and H. Foley the garbage boys are here. Hey, they haven't been here in a long time I'm excited to see them. I saw you two at the premiere of the other night. Yes, I felt like I got too excited What are you talking about? I felt like you guys were like, yo, you guys did the- No, no, no, no. I was like, I hit you with the Bobby. I yelled, now Bobby. Okay, maybe, maybe, okay. I thought I was too excited, so that's great.
Starting point is 00:04:34 I think I, you have, you have- I must ask for an autograph. Well, I was walking out, I saw you two, and I was just, you know, not only familiar faces, but I haven't seen you two since Skatefest. Yeah, I think it's over excited. When you walked out, I said to you, that was brilliant. You know that.
Starting point is 00:04:52 Yeah. And you go, what do you thought? You literally said, what are you talking about? Like, you were fucking looking for a cab. Wow. I'll explain to you. There's a reason. Before you explain that, yes.
Starting point is 00:05:02 I want to say something. Yeah. We both feel the same way. What? That was fucking you explain that. Yes, I want to say something. Yeah, we both feel the same way. What? That was fucking a beautiful movie. Yes, you were fucking amazing in it. So good. And if you don't have your ticket set,
Starting point is 00:05:12 go fucking see Fourth of July. It's crazy. It's fucking something. It's crazy. It is good. I was, I was, I saw a couple versions of it way back in the day. Sure.
Starting point is 00:05:23 Because after we filmed it, thank you very much for this. It was so good. You were fantastic. I appreciate that. And I believe everybody who did it. Everything performance I would say. Thank you, man.
Starting point is 00:05:32 It was a great movie. It's not what you're going to think it is. It's this beautiful little movie about family anxiety. Uh-huh. And it's a love story. It's like a little love story, but it has a lot of funny people in it. Sure.
Starting point is 00:05:48 And there's a lot of looie moments in it too. It's directed by Louis. So there's a lot of like, what the fuck is happening? And you kind of interpret it yourself. It was beautiful too, the way it was shot and everything. I felt like I said, I haven't left that many times in a theater with a group of people in like the longest time,
Starting point is 00:06:08 not even due to the pandemic, just like going to see a movie where everybody thought that many parts were funny. We don't have friends. Well, I don't get invited to the movies that much either. Well, it was funny. It was funny that was blew me away. Is it were all in the theater laughing again?
Starting point is 00:06:22 Dude, it was the first 20 minutes of that. It was like a stand-up special. It was every couple of beats. Ah, ah, ah, ah. The craziest thing is they got a laugh before a word. Like the opening quote gets a laugh. Oh, yeah, that was great. You know, the family is whatever, whatever,
Starting point is 00:06:37 and they give it away, but. Yeah, I don't want to give away. I almost gave it away. That's why you're better than me. I'm like, blah, blah, blah, blah. You got to see I'm not mad at me. We're not kissing your ass. It's that fucking good better than me. I'm like blah blah blah blah blah. You gotta see, I'm gonna get mad at me. We're not kissing your ass. It's that fucking good.
Starting point is 00:06:47 You gotta go see what's gotta do with this. It's a Joe List and Louie wrote a beautiful movie. And he, Louie directed it. It's in theaters. So go see it in theaters. List came. The whole thing was fucking, he did great.
Starting point is 00:06:59 Dude, I'm amazing. The thing at the end and, sure. The Apollo was great. The Apollo was beautiful. Yeah, everybody killed it Regionally cast that was so fucking cool that he did that. I know Tony V. Yeah Boston comic legend Tony V was in it and then the wall was in Chris wall Yeah, he was great who I loved he was my favorite. He was fantastic
Starting point is 00:07:22 He was so good in that movie, so Boston, such a fucking dud, the fucking dud. It ran on the thing and a fat chick. He was so good and that's who he is. I know, I loved him. The mother was great. Mom was unbelievable. Oh man, that is every one of my favorite.
Starting point is 00:07:37 It can't be mehries. I have like three Aunt Mary's and she's all of them. Yeah, right. That's not, it's why. I literally was watching, I was like, that's like going to Thanksgiving at my house. That's not. I literally was watching. I was like, that's like going to Thanksgiving. At my house, it's crazy. Yeah, I was all the nose character.
Starting point is 00:07:49 I have five uncles. Oh, what are you doing? You still doing comedy? Die. Yeah. A grown man. Make fun of you for living in New York. And fuck the pussy.
Starting point is 00:07:58 Like, I'm sorry. It was Max Ganky's fan yet. You fucking loser. Well, who cares if he is? Did I get made fun of for going to Starbucks over Dunkin' Donuts? So like, you fucking loser. What who cares if he is did I get I get me fun I'm for going to Starbucks over Dunkin Donuts. I like you fucking pussy He's got even like dunkin. He's Starbucks. It's nice funny. Why are you gonna take him to see a screening of it? Oh max? That's a good dude. Why haven't I thought of it dude? Are you're a done? Buy it big screen. It's ain't some fucking Netflix deal. You're fucking a big screen.
Starting point is 00:08:25 Let's go. I, here's the reason why I would, he's not, he's not, he's not. He's not. Say tooby. Go on. He's not gonna sit through it. What do you mean, dude?
Starting point is 00:08:34 Listen, he's not gonna sit through fucking Joe's on a lot. I think so. Joe's tiny mouth. He's gonna, I'm gonna look over. That was this guy such a pussy. I'm gonna walk over the kids, gonna be, now I think seeing you on screen. I mean that was one thing. The anticipation of seeing you, yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:49 The scope of the movie on the big screen is really- Well we've done that. I've done that with him. He was, I got him in a movie that I was in. Okay. I played Santa Claus in a movie a couple of years ago. And I don't know why you're laughing. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Starting point is 00:09:04 All right, you have to get rid of that. Yeah, you have future. I read for Mrs. Claus. Give it the Merrill Street. I love that. Everybody, every comic has a thing when they do timing. His is the fuck a huh. You lick your mouth.
Starting point is 00:09:22 I give it the Merrill Street. I'm biting my beard a lot. I pull mouth. I give it to my old street man. Fuck it. I'm biting my beard a lot too. I pull hairs out from the corner of my beard. That grows. That's gross to me. That's real hot.
Starting point is 00:09:33 That's a real sexy stuff you got going on over there. Yeah, that night was great, but when I came up to you at the end when I was leaving, yeah, I was out of it too. Sure. I had surgery here, herniac surgery on Monday, and I was, I was, I had a life of a movie star, huh? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I got back from that whirlwind tour with him and I just went right to the fucking hospital. And then Thursday night and I was, I was fucking out of it. And then Thursday night I was so wiped and then I saw you off front and you said that
Starting point is 00:10:22 and I was like, I just was out of it. Yeah. I meant every single word of it. Oh, thank you. Amazing. Yeah, fun night. How was the party after I didn't go to that? It was good. It was cool. Small. Yeah, it's just it was super small. Yeah, yeah, a lot of people are just kind of like also like flooded out in the streets. Just kind of like hanging. It was cool. It was good hang. There were some sliders going around. Any food. Yeah, there were some spiders and pizzas. Nice. Oh, good, good, good, good.
Starting point is 00:10:45 Yeah, I miss the nice time. That's what you mad at. Yeah. I'm mad at you. What were your derbs like? Was it worth going? Was there fish tacos that I fuck up? Fish taco.
Starting point is 00:10:55 Not a fan either. I don't know why I was saying that. Why would you bring up a fish taco? If they're done, okay. If they're done really well, they're okay. Yeah, yeah. I know fish tacos is like, dude, it's like... There was pigs in a blanket though. Yeah yeah pigs in a blanket would have been good fried
Starting point is 00:11:08 chicken nuggets fish tacos better than pigs in a blanket that's oh you're you're out of your mind I'm not saying they're better I'm saying that's a more classy affair a fish taco first of all can't be an outdoor of it has to be hot it has to be cooked put on a plate and eatin'. You can't make it in the, I then walk around and let people finger it for 20 minutes. Matt, this one. The tartar sauce getting, it starts getting warm. It's fuckin' cold. All right, I gotta break the seal of the tartar sauce
Starting point is 00:11:34 with the fuckin' taco shell. Get a little skin on it. You know like that? You a pudding skin guy? Ah, fuckin' bleh. Um, the tomatoes warm. Fuckin' it. Nothing's worse than a sweaty tomato.
Starting point is 00:11:46 No, you need a cold tomato on that thing. You need the textural enhancement to make that fish taco taste good. Yeah, yeah, fish taco is like an- I was thinking more Ahi tuna would be in there. Dude, Ahi tuna is nuts that you didn't bring that up. That's even taking the two. Ahi tuna.
Starting point is 00:12:02 Still, what are you talking about? Who's doing a, we're talking on Derms. We're not talking of meal. Ah, he tuners a meal. Yeah, who the fuck, if a guy walked up and went ah, he took it, I'd go beat it. Bring those pizza biscuits over. Yeah, you know what, I'm throwing a super role party
Starting point is 00:12:17 and that's all I'm serving is fish tacos and I'm making this come. Well, you, I'm not coming to that. First of all, Phil, he's gonna be in it. Second of all, I'm not doing it. I he Dude I he dip I Pete's Cream
Starting point is 00:12:33 Listen I Yeah, we were talking about before when I was Before the show it we always it's so it fucking blows my mind every time you do a podcast You always want to talking about crazy interesting shit while nothing's rolling of course because you got there And you're like what's up and like you get to like the most pressing thing the best cuz you just like what's up Blatt and the stats start flowing all of a sudden you're like dude. Fuck him. Why don't we just tape this? I purposely didn't come up early because I wanted to save it for the air. Oh good Hold my fist taco line
Starting point is 00:13:04 Also, he was at Ben's when I found them. So, did you go to Ben's? Oh, not at all. Not at all. Did you? No. He was standing close enough to get the smell. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:13:15 Yeah. He had your jaw off. That's not like that. I should trust you. And I didn't. I trusted him. No, I wouldn't trust me at all. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:23 Oh, no. He lies. Well, I did this tour with Louis and Okay, yeah, well, do we have to who was there another Louis? Just a people really best friend now like a people really going Gomez Shout out to Lewis go. Yeah, shout out to the rattlesnake skank fest. Yeah, I did a did a world tour in Louis Gomez Stop Delaware. Yeah, we did Germany. Thank you. Thank you for getting that.
Starting point is 00:13:51 You slowly got it. He still doesn't get it. He doesn't. He German. But we were talking about the hotels and the cloud. I mean, dude, there was a couple hotels. There's a different level of class. I'm assuming rolling with him than I would ever know.
Starting point is 00:14:10 Let's put it this way. There's four seasons and then there's another level I've never even been there. Hotel, that's Nariott's nice for us. Thousands of dollars a night. It's crazy. I mean, it's thousands of dollars a night. And I stayed at You pay, I mean, it's 1000 dollars a night. And I stayed at probably three of these hotels on this tour.
Starting point is 00:14:28 The other ones were the highest end hotel you could get, right? What's separate, what makes it, okay, we're staying in a nice one in this city and not a nice one in the next city? Well, the one we stayed in in Sweden, let's put it this way, as I was walking out, Ed Norton was on the stairs, and then Jared Lido walked by me.
Starting point is 00:14:45 Let's put it that way. Like that's another level of fucking holy shitness, right? And Norton, huh? Eddie Norton. Eddie Norton was on the stairs. Eddie! Looking confused as fucking smoke in a hot Jared Lido. Oh, what I would like to love to have him snacked that one. Oh, what I love to have snack that one. Oh,
Starting point is 00:15:06 Looking kid good looking kiddie has to grow that beard just to have a little manliness to him and he's like almost 50 I think almost 50 years older. Yeah looks fantastic looks just and he has a he has a glow of like he was bopping Yeah, he's been getting fucking a lady for the last fucking 35 years Yeah, what do those dudes do over? You know, they always hear about like actors over there. They're not where they work in or they doing like pret like I'll tell you what they do There's a bunch of charitable organizations that are high level. Uh-huh. They're doing poppers. What are you talking about? They're over there getting weird. Alapino poppers
Starting point is 00:15:40 Yeah, they have a fish tacos In Stockholm. Yeah, you try to fish tacos. I hear the y'all he's great in Finland. Let's go. They do these big. I found out that they have these organizations and they pay these actors. I don't know. I'm gonna feel a lot of money and they fly them over and they put them up in these things
Starting point is 00:16:01 and they go and do a speaking engagement in engagement or something they do a speaking engagement and uh... and uh... that's it and they represent whatever this one was uh... whatever the for the minds of something what you ask them uh... no i i found out i'm like why i had to know why i can't why are these famous people in my hotel uh... you always hear that you always hear that i saw so and so in fucking Switzerland. You're like, what the fuck are they doing there? Sometimes they do commercials overseas.
Starting point is 00:16:29 They're making a whole load of money. They will fucking watch. But there's these charity organizations that are, it's not like our charities that we do will raise the money for some fucking sick kid with cancer. Had a fire haul, the pain. Yeah, exactly, yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:16:44 Jared Lee does not walk in a unicef box. They're paying you two more money than charity's making. They fucked up. They didn't calculate it in. Yeah, you think they give that back? You think they say, I'd take the fee, give it to the charity? Who? The Jared Leto, them.
Starting point is 00:16:56 No. Think they take it. 100%. Dude, because it's at another level, you're talking the richest people in the world are going to Oprah's gale. Stuck ahead in at breakfast. I looked over and I mean, I'm eating my fucking eggs. Not yet. My room. Gale was like, Hey, how you doing, Bob? You have any towels by any chance? Hey, the fish tacos downstairs are amazing. You're
Starting point is 00:17:18 AC working. Smelling smoke on his floor. Yeah, no, she just came in for breakfast and I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy.
Starting point is 00:17:40 I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. She hosts like the 15th hour of Good Morning America with Kathy Lee. It's her and Lee. Did the chicken head cancer and came back? No, that's the other side. No, that was, who's that? No, Kota's, she's been around for, yeah, her. Oh, yeah, Hota.
Starting point is 00:17:55 Oh, that's great. That is a good mix up. That's not a great picture of her. She is kind of, yeah, Gail looks very similar. Bring up Gail. It looks very similar. I would take her over Gail though. Gail has aged.
Starting point is 00:18:06 I think she's got to set a cans on her too. Oh Gail, oh Huda. Huda, oh Huda. Huda? You don't know either. I think it's Huda. Oh, no. That is very Huda.
Starting point is 00:18:16 Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Well, it's got a lot of cash, right? I mean, they could have picked a different background. They're blending right in. I mean, they could have picked a different background. They're blending right in. I mean, maybe a sunset. It was at a, is that a cake?
Starting point is 00:18:30 Looks like the top of a cake. We're such dirt bags. You used to have a house in Stone Harbor, New Jersey, open did or have a lot of them. It's like all we're like billion. Open did. Yeah, Oprah did. Yeah, not fucking hold us.
Starting point is 00:18:39 I don't care how much. There's no way. But we would go and try to see it. You'd be like, I was like, you would do it like hang out out front to try to get a glimpse of her house because it was all covered in trees. It was like up on the beach and you keep the rifer afap from peaking. Yeah, that's trash. You do it.
Starting point is 00:18:54 That's it like when there's a limo coming by or some of you, you know, you try to see who's in it. You know what I mean? For high school kids. Yeah, it's yeah, but still keep your shit together. Have some dignity. Fuck that, bro. So she popped into breakfast. High school kids. Yeah, it's yeah, yeah, but still keep your shit together have some dignity Fuck that broad so she popped into breakfast Dude this hotel in Sweden was nuts, but the hotel in the hotel in fucking Amsterdam off the charts Yeah, I mean you walk in they greet you and
Starting point is 00:19:18 Bring you in and sit you down individually in these leather chairs and then you get like a mom blunk and sit you down individually in these leather chairs. And then you get like a Mont Blanc pen. Okay. It's like this. It's a fucking beautiful pen. And then they have these in front of you. Like a cross pen. It's not, no, no.
Starting point is 00:19:35 Better than a cross pen. What's a cross pen? How do you have no pen? I don't know, cross pens. Cross pen is nice, but cross pen is ruined through. Cross pen is not even near, not like the astronaut pen, myself. A cross pen is like a Swiss watch
Starting point is 00:19:47 compared to a Rolex, which is the Montblanc. Okay. Anyways, it was, it was not, I can't know the name. I mean, am I the only person who doesn't know what a mount block? Montblanc is also a watch company. Montblanc. Well, Montblanc is a pen, but watch is yes.
Starting point is 00:20:00 Montblanc is a... More 55 for a fucking pen. Fuck outta here. Give me a uniball roller, let's go. Oh. Have you ever written with a Monplunk? I have not. No, I've never had the...
Starting point is 00:20:11 Try it before you fuck me. I'm not hanging out with Huda, or whatever you're doing. They have Matiti Bank, because if not, he's never done. I don't like the endangering in my story with Huda. It was Gale. You're Huda. All right, I'm with Gale. I think it's Huda.
Starting point is 00:20:24 Huda, whatever. Fuckin' name. I'm a gale. I think it's hooter. How to whatever Either way call me. We kind of plug the dates. Let's go Let's go You sit down and then there's a there's a glass enclosed with bees Bees with little wings on it. Be you know fucking escape room. What's that? And the clock is ticking Bees with little wings on it. Bees. Oh, you're a fucking escape room. What's going on? And the clock is ticking. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:48 I didn't order the wasps. Excuse me. Bees. Then I released the hound. It's a real fucking nice hotel. See, there's a, in glass, they all put it up and they're chocolate. They're chocolate.
Starting point is 00:21:01 There's a master chocolate maker. Don't the bees come out? The bees, did you hear me? The bees are chocolate. I thought, like I said master chocolate maker. Don't the bees come out? The bees, did you hear me? The bees are chocolate. I thought when I said chocolate bees, you'd probably be like, oh, okay. I didn't pick up on chocolate at first. They're made of chocolate and inside is honey.
Starting point is 00:21:16 So they come over to you and they, you can't just check in, there's this whole process of checking in. Okay. So I'm sure you can be like, look, just give me my key, I gotta go. Save the bees. Save the bees that have that one off. But I'm sure you could be like, look, just give him my key. I gotta go save the B. Right. Save the B.
Starting point is 00:21:26 I've had that one off. But I'll see down. Let's do it. I'm making him go through the whole fucking room. I'm going through this. You got HBL up there. Yeah. So they they they come over and they hand pick a B and they put it in your hand and you take a button.
Starting point is 00:21:41 Dude is Louie with you? What is this happening? No, Louie always leaves before us. Louie's bags are stealing towels, I bet. Let's start running your mouth. Louie's, he goes to the hotel before us. We're at the airport, I gotta get my check bag. His bag was with somebody else.
Starting point is 00:22:00 Okay. And he just takes off. But anyways. That's why I gotta start traveling. You fly together though, right? You both sit next to each other on the plane? Oh yeah, we just takes off. Oh, but anyways, that's why I got to start traveling. You fly together though, right? You both sit next to each other on the plane? Oh, yeah, we all fly together. We travel together just when we get to the airport.
Starting point is 00:22:11 He has no, his check bags are being handled by somebody else. Sure. So he just takes off and goes to the hotel. Uh-huh. When me and like the other guy, I'll be still on the headphones. Me and Greg. I carried a bunch of little cans that's made of juice.
Starting point is 00:22:25 You got a couple of tons of blankets to get the fuck out of there. I got the slippers. I got them on your hands. I got, I did take, I did take a couple things from these hotels. Oh my God, what? I'm stealing the plates. I only took two things. I took the alarm clock and the flats were in.
Starting point is 00:22:41 I almost, this was mine. I swear to get your hands off of me. I almost stole, you know the thing on the desk with the, I brought these hangers. This is a gregus. These were my chocolate bees I swear. Ask Ed Norton, no back me up. And no wonder Louie leaves before you.
Starting point is 00:22:59 You can't be fucking on the front page. So after you get your bee, then the guy goes like this. He brings over four fragments bottles, like perfumes. What do they call it? Fragments. Fragments. Fragments. Fragments. They got fragments in the fucking lobby. You believe that? I just say something. Low, get your fragment. I knew I said it fucked up. I thought I got away with it Oh, you think so fish tacos. You think I was fucking let that slide you're fucking mind Give me a fucking break. This is turning into a real knife fight I'm used to plus I know Bobby's hurt
Starting point is 00:23:38 He's recover from a fucking groin surgery It's not like groin. It's a fucking high-end learning. Ainal hernia. High-adal. Hernia, you fucking assholes. Where's that head, though? That's sput your up in here.
Starting point is 00:23:56 I don't know. It's here. I know I had it done. Oh, you making my hernia. You have it up here. Who's a hernia? Oh, it's always in your boss. How high do you wear your pants?
Starting point is 00:24:03 No, no, no, no. You don't even know what a hernia is. Hernia? Yeah, you think a in your balls. How high do you wear your pants? No, no, no, no, no, you don't even know what a herniah is. Herniah? Yeah, you think a herniah is. You just think you got yours and herniah. I had a belly button herniah fixed. That's when you're in test. Every back guy, and also I'm probably not far away.
Starting point is 00:24:15 I'm not, we know, don't let them. Don't take that away from us. It's true. You're about to fucking say that. We're about to fucking listen, jump, dance. You're right with us. Well, it's also hanging out with him. You just think you're on a different boat. No, no, no, no, Ditz, you're right with us. Well, it's also hanging out with him. You just need to get back on a different boat.
Starting point is 00:24:26 But we're all the same boat. We might be in the back. And it's taking water at the moment. We might be on the back and have to be on either side, but you're right, Ditz, too. Hanging out with him on the road, you just get fatter. There's just more appetizers. Don't, that's egregious, because they don't let me eat a thing
Starting point is 00:24:40 on the road for the last year. First of all, I want you to take fucking daily work. Yeah, I got my, I got my, take that. Take that, make it hotter in here. You're like, I'm doing a deposition. Where am I chocolate? I was promised chocolate bees. Doesn't, you got to greet just in twice enough.
Starting point is 00:24:57 All right. Agreegious. He's got three jokes and he likes playing the hit. Agreegious. I'm counting three jokes and he likes playing the hits. Agregious. I'm counting cards on him. He's talking about. So then the guy comes over with, how do you say it?
Starting point is 00:25:12 A fragrance. Why can't I say it? Because you're trash. I'm from Boston. Hang on a second. He comes over with fragrance. Fra- Fra-
Starting point is 00:25:21 Like the end is frayed. You know what I can't say too? Just say cologne. Yeah. Philanthropist. Philanthropist. Philanthropist. Philanthropist. Yeah, I have tough to intermurels, tough one for you.
Starting point is 00:25:31 Intermurell, I can say that. Intermurell. No, you can't. I apologize. This is a world where it's spelling me. You guys can't even pronounce the word. Let me know what you spell it on. I shouldn't have you guys on the first week.
Starting point is 00:25:41 I'm my stomach hurts. I'm in a good time. My stomach hurts. I should have had Cologne. He first week. I'm my stomach hurts. But a good turn. My stomach hurts. I should have had column. He's less. He would have been less. Tell us a move more to more moving stories.
Starting point is 00:25:50 So they bring over these bottles. Shout out to colleague T. I love them too. Love them too. They bring over the ball and they go, what we want to know, what would you like your room to smell like for the five days you're here? And you smell these smells.
Starting point is 00:26:09 How they so hooker? They stay, they, and you're like, okay, and then you go to the next one, you look, I would like number three. And then your room smells that way. Bologna. Anything in an Oscar, Meyer Did you have fish tacos? I cured meat. Of horse radish. I was like peanut butter. Oh, that'd be awesome. Because when you go to Hershey Park, the whole town smells like chocolate. It's great. So then you go to your room.
Starting point is 00:26:40 Because your family's there. I bring the Hershey Park excited. go to your room because your family's there. I know. He brings a Hershey Park excited. He does. Fuck it. Everything has to do with food. He can't even just say six flags. It's got to be a Hershey Park.
Starting point is 00:26:50 Or the air smells like chocolate. He can't ride rides unless he makes his own chocolate bar at the end. I can't ride rides at home. I know. Fuck, we should talk about that. It sucks. So then you get to your room. The guy brings you to your room.
Starting point is 00:27:03 There's no go into your room. The guy brings you to your room. There's no going to your room. The guy brings you to your room Walks you in and your bags are gone. Someone else has your bags at this point. You're you know, you're a bit of a you know What dirt bag like ourselves? You're not used to this treatment is what I'm saying. I've I'm not used to this I mean you've been a celebrity for a long time. I've been to fancy hotels. I've been to the four seasons. I've been to these hotels. I've been, hello Mr. Kelly. I've done all that shit. This is another, this is another level.
Starting point is 00:27:31 Hello Mr. Kelly, hello Mr. Kelly. This is another level. This is, the bees were another level. Sure, sure. Then you go to your room, the guy brings you in your room and my room is a fucking beautiful house. The house.
Starting point is 00:27:42 It's basically a house, you know what I mean? And there's another dome glass dome with a chocolate peanut butter fruit tart in it, right? And then there's another dome on the table in front of the TV with diamonds, pink diamonds, pink before you get confused, pink chocolate diamonds. Okay. With, I was like, that's definitely what you, I would have taken the
Starting point is 00:28:08 coconut. Coconut, coconut, uh, so I thought they're real diamonds. Coconut confetti. So you lick the diamonds, stick it in the coconut confetti, invite it in, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, Yeah Sir that's Pope are you Dude, please don't eat that one sir. You're eating our soap Now you know rich people real fancy people wealthy people don't do that. They don't touch that They don't eat it and I was mad because the bit I was slow-ro in the diamonds over a couple days You fucking fucking drop the bees all over your face the made came back on the second day the third day over your face. The maid came back on the second day, the third day, uh, second day, and took my diamonds. Like there was two diamonds left. Do you call the front desk? I didn't
Starting point is 00:28:50 because I felt that would be bad. Sure. That would be the, Hey, where's my diamonds? She's so mean. Sure. We will send more diamonds up. You fat fuck. I wanted to put my done. Dude, I was so, cause I would come home after my walk because I have a diamond. It was fucking beautiful. Beautiful. And then here's the kicker. I open up my draw and they have, I believe 20 pillows you pick from. Hmm, you pick your own pillows.
Starting point is 00:29:20 Whatever type of pillow you want. I'm soft, whatever. I mean, 20 different, I got a body pillow because I was lonely. And then another, it was like a plush, I got a plush, whatever the fuck it was and they bring him to your room and they put him on your bed.
Starting point is 00:29:40 I dude, it's fucking nuts. Now when you leave, I know that the rooms paid for. Yeah. What do you leave in? What are you putting down for the effort? But the broad coming in? Yeah, she's getting 20. 20.
Starting point is 00:29:54 Yeah. Yeah, I learned that from calling a long time ago. 20 bucks. The maid gets 20. What do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, they're out of chocolate bees, diamonds? I don't know, 100. 100, you are. Are you out of your mind 50 50 for what?
Starting point is 00:30:08 Fist tacos. I don't know. First of all, I don't let them in the room She's not even supposed to be there for three days. I don't want them coming in. Yeah, I don't want you coming in I get my room nice. I put the privacy sign up. I don't I don't want to move in my CPAT machine to the other side Put Jinger ale in it fucking with me He's a shit You know what the CPAT like? to the other side. Put Jinger Ale in it. Fuck it with me. Piece of shit. You even know what the seat pat like is. Don't want to road with him. I know what a seat pat like.
Starting point is 00:30:29 He has a, he has a, he wears it on the airplane. Yeah. I carry like a nuclear football. You don't wear it on the airplane. God damn right. I'm doing a little carry-in case. Why do you wear it on the airplane? Because I'm not going to let it go in the airplane.
Starting point is 00:30:39 No, you don't wear it on the airplane. Yeah, no. I'm not walking around like Darth Vader. You're like, well, fucking going Australia. Why, where the fucking dough? We're flying to Buffalo. It's eight minutes. Yeah, it's not walking around like Darth Vader. Well, fucking go in Australia. Why the fuck? They were flying to Buffalo. It's eight minutes. Yeah, it's 18 minutes. You put it on your fucking like, Bane. Oh, you can't because it's not considered a bag.
Starting point is 00:30:55 It's not considered a bag. Now, right, right, Karen, I bring that to medical, piece of medical equipment. Yeah, I will. I refuse to do that. I, I, I checked the thing. Really? Yeah, I'm not, I'm not walking around with oxygen over that thing. Yeah, I refuse to do that. I check the thing. Really? Yeah, I'm not walking around with oxygen over there. That thing, I'm not walking around. I know you have one, just so you know. That's fine. They can know I have one, but they're not catching me.
Starting point is 00:31:13 Mine's in a sleek bag though. Yeah, mine's in a slump. It says like, it says like, Remco Medical Services on it. Says Lawrence Memorial Hospital on the... Yeah, it doesn't say Tumi, okay. Yeah, it's not a Tumi seat bag. It doesn't say a weight bag, right? Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca, espectacularismos, y un sin fin de aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de madrida, murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea.
Starting point is 00:31:50 Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. You sit in a lobby, they come over, can I get you anything to drink? Anything you want, and they just bring you stuff. And it's fucking fun. Those people I tip, though, like downstairs, 20 bucks, 20 bucks, 20. Okay. Now when you go, you check in, you gotta put your card down for incidentals, there's a Mr. CK, do that. They take, he takes care of everything,
Starting point is 00:32:16 but at the end, you take care of your food. Okay. Like if I order a bunch of room service, I just go wipe that out. He doesn't take care of that. But Mr. CK, let me tell you something, Mr. CK, out of anybody I've ever been with, has treat you like him.
Starting point is 00:32:30 You fly with him, you stay with him, and then a few times you eat with him. And when you eat with him, we went to one place in Norway, this motherfucker, he's like, you like caviar, and I was like, I love caviar. And he's like, this motherfucker, he's like, do you like caviar? And I was like, I love caviar. And he's like, give us. It's precious. They came over with two fucking balls, like two jars, but crazy jars of caviar, like too much for us. Like we almost couldn't finish it.
Starting point is 00:33:02 You take any home? Yeah, I took it home. I put it in my fucking my fucking mix it with my chocolate diamonds. Yeah, those are good in the fucking hotel fridge Top of the caveat freezes throw the microwave for two minutes. You're good. I got a melted by the heater Yeah, it was it was crazy that trip was Fucking the best in a match tour. I ever been on. That's true. I've been from a fucking European tour right through the right to the right to the beam before but before we left I filmed my special. He directed and produced my special. Where'd you do that? In in St. P. Florida. Oh, well that's that that's a question. It's my time. I've ever been the donses are in St. Pete beach nice Oh, yeah, nice hotel. Yeah, we we we're in St. Pete and we filmed my special
Starting point is 00:33:52 That's our club. We did it at coastal creative. We made the space. I know those kids just hit me up not too long ago Fucking great people. Yeah, good people. They work with side splitters. Yes, yes, yes. You can do a real special show there, whatever type of thing. Not the side splitters. Side splitters is the best, one of the best club, my favorite club. A stick.
Starting point is 00:34:12 The country. That guy is fantastic. I'm drawing a blank on his name. The big fucking. BT. Yeah. The wife plays him the best. They're the best.
Starting point is 00:34:21 And yeah, we, so Louis shot my special, which was fucking nuts Except for the first show I almost fucking died It's terrible some lady the middle of my special help her. Yeah, she seized out already Fold me. Yeah, seized out right the fucking show first show and I want all right Let's put on everything's banking on the second show now. Hey honey, I'm paying for this. What are you doing? Uh, dude, usually it was, dude, you get it on the first show. The second show is just a breeze.
Starting point is 00:34:49 You are. The second show is a must-do. I had an eye head. Got a fucking gun to your head. I'm in the back. I'm fucking sweating. It's too hot. It's St. Pete.
Starting point is 00:34:57 I didn't figure it in the fucking heat. What happened to the lady? She left. I don't fucking know. She left. She's dead and it's on page two. No, she left. She just had a seizure. That sucks. I don't don't know we don't know I don't fucking know I just heard help me and I heard
Starting point is 00:35:09 her husband help her help her please and somebody went is she a diabetic he goes I don't know help her like he was his wife was yeah banged up yeah like banged in also Tampa could have been like meth or something not wasn what's the end of it. I mean, she could have got a bad bag. I did look out on the second show and saw a couple heads, methods, you know, those dirty knuckles. Uh-huh. Shout out to Florida. So we go from there to the tour and then come back to the premiere, to the pre-meekin
Starting point is 00:35:41 theater, which was, look at you. Fuck you. It was one of, uh, that was a wild week for us, because we met Louis Tuday's before, to do, he did the show, or the day before, whatever it was. And like, that was surreal. Now, I didn't see the show. I saw that you guys had him on your show, your podcast. Very successful.
Starting point is 00:36:00 Every knows your podcast. Um, but did, did you guys, I didn't see it yet. I didn't get a chance to watch it. Did you stick to the show? Yes, of course. Did he come in and? No, no, he played the game. He really did it with the question.
Starting point is 00:36:12 Oh good, good, good. Kyle's stuff now. It was great, but that was insane. And then he was like, if you wanna come, Joe will get your tickets. Right, I'm surprised. Then we won. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, and you got maybe the biggest pop in the theater, that was great. That was fucking funny.
Starting point is 00:36:46 Yeah, that was cool. That was cool to have my wife there, just so you might get, it was settled down a little bit. Who the fuck, yeah. Let's see me with the fuck. Listen here, Tuts. That's the attitude.
Starting point is 00:36:55 It was cool for me to have my wife there. I'm like, I know these guys. I may have diarrhea, because of the surgery, but I'm fucking somebody. But I got to see your girl, and I never met your girl. I never met your girl. I've heard about your girl. Sure, yeah, yeah. You did the very classy thing. I go, oh, I was a bobbie. You came over, gave me a handshake. I was a girl. This is my wife. Oh, thanks. I've heard a lot about you. I have. I heard a lot about it. Really good stuff
Starting point is 00:37:19 But you guys get along yet? Who? Who? You and his wife. No, now mean his wife for some rock solid well who didn't get along with who oh boy there was a little bit of we're in it now he can't ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha was not a fan of your friend your lady friend is not a fan of me is this the same one that was the other night yes so that's your girlfriend for a long time that was the first sit down that was that was the other night or of us in a long time really or not in a since the beef yeah we got we did we put everything aside to go to the movie really yeah and how did that work out it was fantastic oh good you Spit my face. Stop. Through a fish talker right my face.
Starting point is 00:38:09 You look like a man because that was the last fish. Yeah, you bitch. That was the last one. I can eat pigs in the blanket now. It's ridiculous. Louis. No, it went. May you both have the same thing.
Starting point is 00:38:24 I'm getting a joke. You're getting a joke. No, it is so fun. We've done so many shows together. Yeah. Like, you stand up show, like whatever, even our live shows we close out together. And we've done, we've been podcasting together for 10 years at this point.
Starting point is 00:38:36 So it's like, we are slowly just becoming the same, like we're meeting in the middle, like he's picking up some of my stuff, picking up his and we're just literally becoming the same person, which is bad. Now you guys go on. Even weight-wise we're meeting in the middle, he's down, he's my stuff, picking up his and we're just literally becoming the same person, which is bad. Now you guys going on, even late wise we're meeting the middle, he's down, he's down 30, I'm up 30.
Starting point is 00:38:49 I saw you the other night and I saw you in the chair and I kept looking over and I wanted to go hug ya because I've been there. I went to in the same theater that we're in. Cheers. Bring us all, take out the fucking armrest, we're in. Take it. With the, I mean my cult, I wanted to see Eddie Vetter up in the same theater that we're in. Cheers. Soles all take out the fucking armrest. We're in. Take it.
Starting point is 00:39:05 With the, I mean my cult wanted to see Eddie Vetter up in the balcony. And he's bigger than me. It was just me and him and him on top of me for the show. And at one point I go, Bob, I'm just gonna go on the hallway. I had to leave. And I go, I'll give you your money back for the tickets.
Starting point is 00:39:20 I can't have another man to love me during a fucking rock show. This is just uncomfortable. Listen to the yellow lead better So I saw you the night and I was the same thing. That's why I got the aisle. Mm-hmm. So Lee I can't I can't be fuck she was like you You know the pot nope. I'm not yeah sit next, the pound. Oh, you're fucking I'm right here. Fat, fuck the fuck. I want sit next to him. And we switch. I put my wife in between us. Yeah. Right. Yeah. It's like, you lose and wait. You lost 30 pounds. I'm 30. Yeah. What are you doing? I got a trainer and I'm just not eating like a fat disgusting pig. Yeah. Most of the time. What is that? Well, you know, I don't like the end of that. I'm a human being at the end of the day.
Starting point is 00:40:06 Yeah, but you're a big human being. I'm too human being. No, yeah, just working out and eating right. You said you're too overweight human beings. Yes. It's not like you're too in shape human beings. Yeah, that would be the end to human shape would be like 280. I'm like four jar, four jar of lettuce.
Starting point is 00:40:23 You're four in shape. You're four people are in shape, but they were fat lost weight in shape. Yeah, not like shredded. I'm fat. We get it. Listen, we're all fat in this room. Yeah. Yes, everybody, but you're getting chubby too. Well, fat's on the inside.
Starting point is 00:40:41 Fat is on the outside. Now all the inside 35. How old do you 46? Yeah, dude, I'm done. I'm fucking done. I remember so funny. I started losing weight I lost weight because I was listening to this show. I did started doing no sugar no grains years ago Seven years ago, so I'm like eight years ago lost about 56 that whatever was got trim Mm-hmm I think kept it off for the most part, and then you were always like,
Starting point is 00:41:07 you have multiple fats. And I remember hating that, because I'm like, not me, not fucking me. And now every day you're in my head to go in multiple fats, and I'm like, motherfucker, he is right. I know, I'm on my seventh, but I'm done, dude. I'm done.
Starting point is 00:41:22 I'm done. I saw you doing the fucking workout out. I can't I can't do it anymore my knee My joints everything's fucking going. I'm not gonna make it. I probably won't make it till 60 what yeah, dude you got a You got to stop. Yeah, no, I know don't look down when I'm looking you in the eye I'm having a moment when I'm having a I'm on the pop having a look up right here. I see him go now. I'm having a moment, when I'm having a fat on the pop having a look up right here. I see him go down that moment with you. I Know I know I know I don't yeah, I don't want that to happen Yeah, I'm making a little cash these days though. Yeah, and dude if you die, what is he gonna do? Who's your replacing you?
Starting point is 00:41:56 Ian fighting at 5% Who the? It's already it's already fucking written in stone It's already fucking written in stone. He and Clydeance come on and I gained 15%. He's gonna kick up to my motto, 20%. I mean, he thinks I gotta pay his mom out of the page. What is this, the mom? Yeah, your mom may get shit, tell me so. Yeah, fucking kid, bro.
Starting point is 00:42:14 I told you he keeps saying, because my mom's gotta get something out of this. I'm like, what do you know? Jesus Christ, hey, I kicked out the paddy. I don't like how fast fucking he financed him out of his mouth. Oh, yeah. I'd be a bad business man. If I didn't have a some sort of contingency plan within walking around, he wants to stop you for a half a bag like that. I know,
Starting point is 00:42:32 but I'd be gaining. I'd be gaining so many more. The bigger pie would be going, the pie would get smaller. Yes. But my percentage of the pie would go up. Right. Yeah. Well, that ain't happening. I ain't fucking anywhere. All right. Well, have you gotten checked out? 100%. I started doing that. That he was fat. I'm reading. We're doing, I'm walking around with it.
Starting point is 00:42:51 I'm walking around with another guy. Like, I'm walking around with an in-shape guy. A regular dude, you mean? Yeah. On my body. Sure. I got a lift here. Who are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:43:02 Around my waist. Yeah, of course. Yeah, well, we're working on it. You're working on it? I'm working on it. I'm working on it. That's the only thing that nothing annoys me. But it gets like, I am doing it.
Starting point is 00:43:13 And people sometimes talk to you like you're just starting. It's like, I'm fucking doing it. How long have you been doing it? I don't know. I hear you on that. I started with the trainer in December. It's obviously been a slow process. But now things are starting to really cook.
Starting point is 00:43:26 I'm taking my nutrition a lot more seriously. With the checkups, I went a year ago, I got a health insurance for the first time a year ago. I went, I got my blood work, I went and saw the cardiologist at the distress test. All that stuff, I had an angiogram because I have a small little blockage in one artery, but it's not causing any trouble.
Starting point is 00:43:44 I'm on the beta blocker. I got the fucking CPAP machine at the pulmonologist, and I go for my endoscopy August 15th. Good. So yeah, I got it. I'll check that. And you have a metallologist. How many days a week you're working out? It's I work out basically six days a week, but it's three workout days, like three circuit training days, one days with him, and then on that's Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Tuesdays and Thursdays, I have to do the elliptical or the treadmill for
Starting point is 00:44:14 a half an hour. Saturdays the same thing, treadmill elliptical, and then Sundays and off, but since we're off the road until August 11th, Red Bank, Red Bank, New Jersey. We'll be doing Arnie Garbage. Sorry. Since I'm off the road, I up to two, three days a week with him because I obviously perform better when he's, you know, on top of me. Right. Yeah. On top of me. In a sexual way.
Starting point is 00:44:38 You got to fuck your entire just ride your cock. Why, I'm eating pancakes. It's not what you think. So, so good man, I'm happy. Thank you. How much you lost 30 pounds? I'm down about, I'd say 25. I weighed myself today, I am 382 or 84. I'm not supposed to know that. We do a thing called fat court on the Patreon.
Starting point is 00:44:59 Yeah. He owes me, he owes the company $5,000. Due to a long, long, long story. You own your own company, $5,000 due to a long long long story you own your own company $5,000 Yeah, I got us kicked out of an Airbnb in LA when we were there why because I was smoking on the property And we didn't get any of the money back. Are you a smoking or smoking in the room? No outside. It's a long story I'm not the worst it with the Smoking Lewis Lewis smokes pot in the room. Hot pot, guys, it is dead. Why is that different?
Starting point is 00:45:27 It doesn't, I'll try to add. Plus it's a more pleasing aroma. That's sick. I don't smoke pot and I don't like it. Either do I, but inside it doesn't hang as long as six. Sigs are fucking in there. Sigs are in here. I disagree.
Starting point is 00:45:41 They should have been smoking anywhere. These people are criminal. It says no smoking, but they let up joints. Like it's a joint. What the fuck does that mean your pot head? I know I got a fucking tout your stupidness. I'm sorry. Well, I'm eating my bees Try to eat my diamonds and peace and got a fucking reaper head over here You don't fucking do that at the ward off and fucking Amsterdam. You don't smoke. I bet you could smoke in that room if you wanted to. Yeah, they probably, just probably like, 4500 fucking Frank's.
Starting point is 00:46:08 I'd say that's all I know. Jared Lido just lights up. Yeah, no shit. So you, he ended up, he owes us money, right? Yeah. Well, I don't understand. So they told you not to smoke on the property? Yes.
Starting point is 00:46:20 You can't smoke outside. It was in the hill. We got a house in the middle. So Holly would hills. And it ran you in Cal. It was an amp, it was an Airbnb. An Airbnb. hills. And it ran you in Canada. It was an Airbnb. An Airbnb. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:27 And they didn't give you, they kicked you out and didn't give you out. I just have to next morning. It was also a lot like he, I'm fighting with the guy via message. You guys dickhead and whatever. It's a whole fucking thing. But I'm fighting with the guy via message. And he's going no smoking on the property.
Starting point is 00:46:42 Go, hey man. And I started being a dick. I'm like, we haven't smoked. We've been walking to the street to smoke. Because it says no smoking on the property go hey man And I started being a dick. I'm like we haven't smoked people we've been walking to the street to smoke right because it says no Smoke on the property. I'm respecting your fucking them like I'm like quoting his rules I'm like according to article four of paragraph nine you can suck my dick I got a bone out of cuz we're drinking at the comedy store and I were fucky's like yeah Tell that guy to go suck a dick. I'm like, yeah, I fuck you man He then just sends me a picture of him in the driveway.
Starting point is 00:47:05 Shirtless, smoking a sig. No description. I'm like, you fucking fat idiot. So then we get booted the next morning, second night. We made up for it on merch though. I think so on the hotcakes. Like an 18th thermos. So I did take the picture and put it on a t-shirt
Starting point is 00:47:19 to try to recoup some of the fun. You fucking piece of shit. Yeah, I'm like, dude, this whole time you knew you smoked on the property. Guys fucking spying on us. Isn't that spying? There he is. Dude, I just get that picture.
Starting point is 00:47:31 Just comes on my phone. Just let us see, putting the lighter back in his pocket, three in the morning. But my rustles on. Instead of a bitch caught me with my rustles, Bobby. It was on my leisure shorts. Yeah, you look good, though. It does look like he looks like a fucking. He looks like ch Bobby. It was on my leisure shorts. Yeah, you look good, though.
Starting point is 00:47:45 He does look, he looks like a fuck, he looks like Chiz. It looks like an old wrestler. I'm the fat ass. Now, do you think I'm wearing underwear there or no? I don't think you're wearing underwear now. No, it's shorts. I'm not always fit. So he owes the company,
Starting point is 00:48:01 so then we had to get another house for the week. Okay, okay, so he always the company five thousand. I love how much of a business man you are. Well, you're a business man. I'm also a better friend, but hold on, listen to this. I'm a better friend because I'm waving. I'm saying if you lose five pounds a month, personally, it doesn't have the five thousand to pay the company.
Starting point is 00:48:21 Okay, okay. So I go, you're saying what? I go, you're an installment, which is what I wanted to talk to you. You're in 12. If you have three friends, it's patreon.com folks. So he doesn't have the money. I can't let him go more. I can't get him.
Starting point is 00:48:35 You know what I mean? So I give him, I go, you can make installments for payments of $1,200 monthly. Shit. You won the 15th. That's a lot. No shit. If you come in five away on the 15th, and the next month, if you come in five pounds while we're, you don't know the company anything. I want him to lose weight.
Starting point is 00:48:53 I don't want the money. I don't care. You don't want to even finance over there. I'm just talking over here. I'm just talking over here. I'm shooting myself after two episodes. Yeah, he's the most lovable guy in the fucking world. Oh, no, I'm the hit.
Starting point is 00:49:04 Yeah, of course. Yeah, he's the fat lovable guy in the fuck. Oh, no, I'm the yeah, of course. I'm yeah, he's the He's the fat one on the mold the the mean bold one and I'll take I'm sitting right here Because you fat fun so He doesn't have to make me Comes in below he doesn't have to make the payments really and I knocked out of the park the first month I lost fucking like 20 pounds you fucked up. You lost too much. I know I know should a slow roll that should have rolled me for the summer. Yes They're not any time minutes. All right Guys got a loser got me a nice and weekends
Starting point is 00:49:37 But I didn't make it the last way and I didn't make it, but I maintained losing all that weight on. Yeah, right. But this month it's gonna be a different story. Why is it gonna be a different story? Because I put on 40 pounds. You put it back on? Did you put weight back on? No, not at all. I haven't put any weight back on. So you're maintaining it?
Starting point is 00:49:57 I'm maintaining it. And yeah, now I mean... If you need my help, I'm serious. I'm saying this because I'm a fat fuck. I've been a fat fuck. I'm an OG fat fuck. What the like split a pizza or something That would mean you meet me a bad listen to me. We'll get a gram. I can't finish these fries get over you Now of course I appreciate listen to me. I appreciate if you need my help
Starting point is 00:50:19 Thank I'm not fucking kidding you. Thank you if you need my help because I'm I'm telling you right now I've grand again this guy off my back. I swear to God. It's technically, I think it's only 3600 at this point. Yeah. No, I appreciate that. If you need my help, you call me anytime. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:50:35 I swear to God. Thank you. Day and night call me, and I'll fucking, I'll help you through the shit. Thank you. Because people don't understand how. It sends me an email back a week later. I'm telling you.
Starting point is 00:50:44 I'm in Copenhagen right now. Baddie. I'm at Louis. Can you find me? Eat numbing birds. Get out of my face. I'm in birds. My other birds.
Starting point is 00:50:53 That's such a great fun. I'm serious. I'm very well. I have to give a tome. He's doing fantastic. All right. He's really turned it around. It's he's doing great.
Starting point is 00:51:04 I'm very, very proud. It's the worst thing in the world really turned it around. It's, he's doing great. I'm very, very proud. It's the worst thing in the world. It's the fucking worst. And I'm a big motherfucker. Like, you're, I would love to be your fat. I know. Because that's like, I could lose that in a month.
Starting point is 00:51:17 Little skinny mini over there. Yeah. I'm a swimsy model. Like, dude, I mean, trying to fucking clean your assholes a nightmare. Yeah, that sucked. That's gone. That was brutal, right? Oh, it was brutal. People don't understand that you try to, you gotta wipe your butt.
Starting point is 00:51:32 It's like you're gonna unhend your rib. But I know I did it. It's my fault. It doesn't matter. Yeah. It's not that you did it. That's great. But it's how to get out of it. You can't get out of it. And then everything you watch on the thing is, dude, just do it.
Starting point is 00:51:49 Fuck your mother and do it. You know, just pick up a kettlebell and raise it over your head. It's not as simple. No, there's a lot of emotional stuff that goes into it. There's a lot of like, yeah. Yeah, I did therapy. I did therapy for about four months to try to figure it out.
Starting point is 00:52:06 I think I did. I'm glad you figured it out. Yeah. At first of all, he canceled about three months of those four months, and still thinks he's figured it out. I'm just saying, dude, the struggle, I'm in the struggle right now, and I'm done with it. I'm done with it.
Starting point is 00:52:21 I feel like you have to get to that point, you have to get to a point where you're like, I can't do it, like I need to change. Like if you want, you can want to. I'm done with it. I feel like I'm out. I have to get to that point. You have to get to a point where you're like, I can't do that like I need to change. Like if you want, you can want to. I've been wanting to change for I mean, I was fat up until I was, you know, 29 years old. Yeah. I was really fat. You know, and it was like, you have to like, I wanted to change so many like today is the day, but it's like, you really have to get to a point where like, this is it. You have to hit a bottom like a drug addict like an alcoholic
Starting point is 00:52:45 What you gotta do is get the whole five G's to your buddy. That's what you gotta do That makes you eat more That makes you just say fuck it. Yeah, but I mean you're too funny to you know fuck around Thank you, you know, and you guys you did it Thank God it so fucking you know, it's usually you know That thing that pops like I can do stuff now I can go here. I can buy that I can and and it doesn't it's good. I'm okay Yeah, you know my whole career
Starting point is 00:53:15 It's like I had to do this and that because I couldn't get food. I couldn't eat that I couldn't I had to eat it the client I know and then all of a sudden I was like dude I can order whatever the fuck I want honeymoon phase where we'll go out together like on the road or whatever Or somewhere to dinner if like you know something cool happens like we went out after Louis We were like let's go. Let's go get a fucking nice dinners. Yeah, and we sit down It's like we are because we're two fat people genetically, you know our makeup. We're like let's get we were two We were sitting there and we were both gonna order two appetizers each so we're gonna get four and I'm like what are we doing? Yeah, it's get we were up to we were sitting there and we were both going to order two appetizers each So we're gonna get for and I'm like, what are we doing? Yeah, pull it back pull it back We don't we're we're always celebrating and we're always rewarding to my wife today
Starting point is 00:53:54 Well, I go to it for stress. Yep. I go to it for reward. Yeah, go to it if I'm fucking angry I go to it when I'm sad and it's like you have I Shake it of going like, I just gotta stop. I'm in control. Once you get a little bit of the cash, right? And I'm not talking a lot. No, and too, just enough to get enough to where you go. You can go to dinner and not be poor.
Starting point is 00:54:14 Let's go to a steakhouse. And then you can just go order whatever the fuck you want. It's a bad place to be from me. Yeah. And it fucked me up. I mean, my knee is fucked up. I finally got it back, but... Is that from pork-as-ms?
Starting point is 00:54:30 It's from being fat. All my shit, I'm telling you, I'm 51. I know I look fantastic. You look great. Thank you. Joe, great skin. Thank you. Thank you very much.
Starting point is 00:54:40 Good eye, bro. Thank you. I just saw old sexy Bobby back that lover. But all of a sudden stuff's that I've always been able to lose that dirty pounds. I can put it on and fucking wipe it away. I can't do it this time. I'm on a liquid diet now. I'm doing, I'm on protein shakes and bone broth and then I'm switching it up. And then I'm going to no sugar, no grains.
Starting point is 00:55:04 This summer, I'm telling you, I'm done. Yeah, I'm switching it up and then I'm going to no sugar no grains. This summer, I'm telling you I'm done. Yeah, I'm out. Is that what's in there? Bone broth and that thing? No, that's crystal light. That's hilarious though that you're such a fatty even looking at that. No, that's not, that's not smell something. Is that super tough? It's just a Nick Flurry.
Starting point is 00:55:21 Is that... You know what if I'm carrying around for warm? I don't know what you're doing. I'm but you're your rich guy I don't know you're eating the Copenhagen Now Louis rich. I'm not rich. Yeah, I can't does all right, but good. I'm glad you're I'm glad you're on top of it Thanks pal, and I'm gonna call you dude. I'm gonna I'm gonna fucking keep on you Thank you. I ain't gonna I'm and I know what you're saying and good for you to fucking doing it I'm proud of you. Thanks pal. I know it sucks when you're trying and trying everything dude. You got to do something
Starting point is 00:55:48 You're gonna do something. Yeah, and you're doing it. So fucking good on you. It's all it is man Just keep doing it. A couple of slices and celebrate No, listen what you're not hearing us I'm done with pizza buddy. I I wish I'd try the same thing. I'm done. Dude, food is like this fucked up thing. It's like, it's like, you know, sex. It's awesome.
Starting point is 00:56:13 It's awesome. Food? Yeah. McDonald's. McDonald's is all right. What's your favorite thing? What's your favorite right now if you could just grab something over the day? Well, here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:56:23 I've lost that. I'm losing that more and more. If I take an edible or something like that and like stimulates my hunger, you know, my eye starts wandering a little bit. But the pleasure that I get from it is gone because of, you know, how late it is in the game. And, you know, I mean, it just, you feel the guilt to it. It doesn't, I always felt the guilt.
Starting point is 00:56:46 Um, but I just pushed through it. Uh, it just doesn't feel the same thing anymore. Push through it. Yeah. What is your favorite thing though? What is it like if you could get something? I like fish tacos. Um, why would you bring a, uh, you fucking hurt my chest? Why would you bring a fucking fish taco? I don't know, it's stunk so bad.
Starting point is 00:57:07 I thought I'd bring it back up again. What? Mickey D's, Mickey D's, the fucking McDouble. Really? Yeah, do it my way. Yeah, like. Mickey, not a Smash Burger or a Shake Shack. I mean, they're great too.
Starting point is 00:57:19 I mean, they've come up with so many new, and in and out burger. It's only inside. What inside what dude Mickey D's though My first memory is going to a McDonald's for somebody's birthday. Right. I remember those. Yeah, they were all right. They had him in the basement He's turned on late Lights came on late in this house. I was on Molly when I was You were a com I was on Molly when I was in. You were a farmer.
Starting point is 00:57:45 That was a road gig. That was a window ver. I was putting it up for the wiggles. The wiggles. What do they call the wood? The what? The kid group, the wiggles. The wiggles.
Starting point is 00:57:57 What do they call it? Do you have kids? No. Why do you know the wiggles? It's a big hits, I don't know. Like the old stuff. Do for me, for me on the road is, is pizza isn't shit like that, you know.
Starting point is 00:58:08 Sure. It's tough, especially, you know, I mean, it's like the old comic trope, but it's like you get done late, there's not a lot of options open. You didn't, you're all jazzed up, you can't fucking get a hooker, you can't get fucking coke,
Starting point is 00:58:19 you can't fucking cheat on your girlfriend, you can't do nothing. What are you gonna do? Well, I was at my house the other night after the saloon. I was in my underwear with one sock on, watching Reacher with a crystal light, and I looked at my wife and go, I was just in Europe, I shot a special,
Starting point is 00:58:37 and I was just at a movie period that I was in the movie, and this is how anti-climactic this shit businesses. I know. We know, I wonder why I stuff my face. I know, it's tough, man. What happened to your sock? I don't know. I think the dog talked it off.
Starting point is 00:58:50 Ha, ha, ha. You know, it's, but it gets rough, man. At this point, my, I quit the sugar. It's great. And my joints immediately feel better. Really? Immediately. A week, it's been a week, and I haven't had any sugar. It's great. And my joints immediately feel better. Really? Immediately. A week. It's been a week and I haven't had any sugar. And all of a say, it's fucking weird. Yeah. My joints, my knee is better. I can actually bend down. I can I can put my shoes on. Like stand on one leg and put the
Starting point is 00:59:20 sneaker on without it hurting. Liminating sugar. That's right. Yeah, and the carbs fucking gone. And it fixes me, I don't know what it does. I know the angriest trainer, the Vinnie Torto Reach on Facebook. He squares by it and he's great and it fixes me immediately. It fixes me immediately. I don't know why, I'm walking.
Starting point is 00:59:43 I wake up in the morning, I just walk. There you go. I walk for 20 minutes and then I come back in, I do that rubber band workout. Yeah. And then, and that's it. And I'm done, but I'm out. So I'm glad that you guys are. That was a public. Like, before the pandemic, I was, I sort of day job. So I would work for, you know, leave the house at 9 a.m. Go work all day, go do spot, you're running around the city. It's like I was out for fucking 18 hours a day or something, create. And I was like, I was just naturally burning calories.
Starting point is 01:00:15 But now it's like, I fucking wake up, I take an Uber to the studio, we fucking, we get lunch, we Uber bat, it's like, I've taken like nine steps. It's like, I have to realize my whole life is Change I have to make up for that, you know, yeah, or just start fucking walking again. No, stop fucking I mean fat lazy and old And now I have somebody yeah, pussy. Let's go Anyways, um, so you guys are touring now. I'm gonna talk about this real quick. Thank you. You got I was that that was to the producer, not to you, Bobby.
Starting point is 01:00:46 Sometimes it's like, I think I can make it. Why does he thank everybody? It's almost annoying. He doesn't know where he is a lot of the time. Why? He just comes to, he goes, oh, thank you, please. And like, you're like, what are you even doing? I got bone broth on the brain.
Starting point is 01:00:57 You want a sip? I swear, it's not bone broth. It's crystal, I believe you. Do you have it warm or do you have a cold? What, bone broth? Yeah. Warm, hot. Hot. It's like soup. It's crystal I believe you have it warmer. Do you have a cold what bone broth? Yeah warm hot yes hot like so like soup It's soup, but you're drinking it. I drink it. What do you get it from you getting like just like from the have any only grocery store? I got bone broth guy you buy a little container of it the things that my mom makes soup with you know
Starting point is 01:01:20 But no, it's bone broth is a better I I like, I'll mix it with like beef broth, a vegetable broth, and bone broth, because bone broth is pretty intense. Is it in bullion cubes? It's fucking wack. I'm telling you dude, it's fucking, it has a lot of protein in it, and I drink collagen,
Starting point is 01:01:36 I drink it, yeah, I drink the protein. I drink the protein shakes, premier protein, or isopuraprotein. Okay. And it healed, in a week, it healed everything. Hmm. Fucking swear. There you go.
Starting point is 01:01:50 All right. I'll let you know at the end of the summer. When you see me at the end of the summer, you guys, I want you to come back on. Sure. In September, come back on, and we'll see what it did. But I know what I'm doing. Okay.
Starting point is 01:02:02 That's great. And I'm excited about it. Because I'm out. I'm tapping out of the fact game. Sexy Bobby's coming back. I might be with Steve Burns wearing a suit on stage. Lying down in front of shit. But you guys are touring. So what's the show? We each it's pretty much a stand-up show. We each co-headline, we co-headline, and then we close out the show together, taking a like, are you garbage questions from the audience? But who goes up first?
Starting point is 01:02:33 I do, and then he brings me back up with like, you guys ready to play a little are you garbage? And then, you know, like, he's like, kind of like, we do it so he's like, he's kind of intro-ing. The pattern, how did you figure out? Because stand-up is so so good that was ever a time where the stand-up Kind of headline like it did like the show does the show always work after the stand-up 100% yeah Yeah, well yeah, we've
Starting point is 01:03:00 Sheldos cuz like we were getting ready to go on the road and shoulders, you know been up You know helped us a lot with just like, understanding stuff. Yeah. What to do. Um, and I was like, do we want to go on the road? And I was like, I don't know, should we book like a standup show or end a live pod, like, you know, before or after the next day or whatever? And he goes, just do fucking, he goes live pods are for people who can't do a standup.
Starting point is 01:03:20 He goes, go do, he goes, you each go headline and then close out for 20 minutes at the end, dicking around with the crowd. Right. So yeah, it's fun. That's what we did with Krebs for kids. It's worked. And we did a show. And then at the end, we went up in Ron kind of corraled us and he just dick around people loved it. They love it. And like the biggest thing is nobody we were introduced as podcasters like from the show. Right. Like it's not like, but they don't know you guys as standups. They do, but they've never seen it. Right. Like, you know, if you take like Tuesdays with stories Right. Like it's not like, well, they don't know you guys as stand-ups. They do, but they've never seen it. Right.
Starting point is 01:03:46 You know, if you take like Tuesdays with stories or something, it's like they're both known as stand-ups. Stand-ups, you know. But we were just, that's awesome that they don't know. So they don't, like, then you guys get to go out and fucking just murder. They're like, what the, like, I didn't know you were that.
Starting point is 01:03:59 We go there, like, we love the pop, but your stand-up was so good. That's all you want to hear as a stand-up is like, yeah. Oh, well, yeah, thank you. We are good. Well, that's good for them a standup is like. Yeah. Oh, well, yeah, thank you. We are good. Well, that's good for them too,
Starting point is 01:04:07 because they're not expecting expectations below. And they don't know that you guys are fucking hilarious. Yeah, it's kinda easy. So you can just kinda go out and. Right, how much time do you do? 25, 30. 25s. Wow.
Starting point is 01:04:18 Yeah. What a fucking gig. 25 minutes, and then you do 20 minutes of the standup. I mean, of the podcast. They gather, yeah. And then you just close it out. Close it out I mean, of the podcast. It's got it, yeah. And then you just close it out. Close it out. And then do you go out and meet them?
Starting point is 01:04:29 Of course. The meat and greets are like as long as the fucking show. Yeah, we meet everybody. That's great. After the homies and the bozos. Oh, that's awesome. It's cool for us because like, we're this is our first run through this.
Starting point is 01:04:39 They're like, we're fucking stoked that they're like, oh, you guys, thanks so much, right? And I'm like, no, we want to meet you. Right. This is fucking super cool for us. This is the coolest I've ever felt. Yeah, that's weird. Like, I always thought in my head,
Starting point is 01:04:49 meeting people after shows was, I love that. Yeah, but then real famous people, like, I don't fucking, I'm not, I'm not doing that. I guess maybe get to a level, I don't know, but like, I, I fucking awesome. They all come up, they have like a quick joke or something and it's like, you like shit on them. Yeah, we love it.
Starting point is 01:05:04 I love it, too. I love that we did that creeps kids thing. Boss was so miserable. He would sit down and just stare at people. He like hate it. Yeah, he'd be like, yeah. And then for pictures, look at every picture we took on creeps with kids. Boss is like this. Just pissed off. Yeah. I guess his back was out. Go fuck yourself. Christian, Ron, Ron bedding this fucking older than you, you fuck. Exactly.
Starting point is 01:05:29 Chrissy D said that already, uh, Lang told him that if you give somebody a couple of seconds, you got a fan for life. If you ignore them, you're going to lose it. You know, if you try to like a dick, you're going to lose a fan for the actual, what he really says, you give a guy a couple of seconds, you can get heroin every year. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it.
Starting point is 01:05:48 I'm gonna get it. I listen, man. I got a bunch of questions from my fans. Sure. Okay. We're gonna get to a couple things I wanted to talk about before we get into that. Did you see the, I don't know if you guys
Starting point is 01:06:05 are fan of the hot dog eating contest? Oh, that's all, yeah. Did you see that fucking... Joey Chessna was fucking yoke that dude out. Reacted quick. Joey Chessna's in shape. No, he fucking, it's looked like he ripped the whole talk that guy's head off.
Starting point is 01:06:19 Any plus he was in, he was on crutches. He's got a bad leg. He's up there in a hot dog eating competition. It's about 30 fucking hot dogs deep. He's 30, I think he was like 35 and he's winning. I ate two of them asleep for eight hours. I know, I'm a crash. Oh, I'm a crash.
Starting point is 01:06:34 Is there anything better than a food coma? Ooh, the pancake coma is probably the best. Oh, just eating so much where you go. Yeah, it's fault right on the couch. And then you wake up like 20 minutes at it, it's like, yeah, that's a good. Ah, you're all sweaty, it's fault right on the couch. And then you wake up like 20 minutes at it. That's a feel that good. Ah, you're all sweaty, your hair's all hot. Those are numb.
Starting point is 01:06:49 Feels like he's got chemo. He fucks this, this is it. I don't know. He reacts so quick. He was so many, he wanted to rip his head up. Look at him. And he goes right back to eating. Yeah, of course he does.
Starting point is 01:07:00 He had a fist full of mush. He did. Hit a handful of hot dog and went right. This guy, what a fucking dick though. He bumps him out of the way. Yeah he had a fistful of mush. He did. Hit a handful of hot dog in my right- This guy, what a fucking dick though, he bumps him out of the way. He's like a dick. Steps on his fucking bad leg. What a piece of shit.
Starting point is 01:07:11 He did, he gave torque, it was like a Bruce Lee type thing. Yeah, he wanted to fucking rip his head off, he ripped his dumb mask off. He's watching. Look at the mask boom. Faults off. Fucking idiot. Even knocked the guy over next to him.
Starting point is 01:07:24 Yeah, that's how much fucking momentum he had there. The guy in the hat. The 1920s, good, lucky times. You know what, look at these dummies in the background on the right, though. Look at that, they're pussy's, though. They know they're not getting in fucking, they're not fucking with the black dude
Starting point is 01:07:37 and the guy with the Mohawk. Look at him. They're just in the back. Oh, I didn't even notice the other two. Yeah, let's do a white storm. One, the old timey guy jumps in. There's one, two, and there's another one. Heard that the two row two. Oh, I don't even notice the other two. Yeah, let's three. One. The old timey guy jumps. There's one. No, there's another one. There's two. Yeah, there's two on the right. See him they're pussy. Oh, fuck, I said, oh my god. Yeah, yeah, they're
Starting point is 01:07:54 pussy's though. They walked up like, dude, I ain't fuck with these guys stormtroopers. What does this mean? Exposed? What does anybody think I figured it was like a like a PETA thing? Like it could be wrong. It's a there's a food processing plant that uh... they say is that pretty bad news in that town whatever it is uh... mythfield we'll be able to tell expose mythfield's dust are what you i just want to ask
Starting point is 01:08:16 your question if you think that that those people made it out of their unharmed uh... pony island well i don't know coney island fourth of july out of their unharmed. Tony Island. I don't know. Tony Island, Fourth of July. Bruelling their claim to fame.
Starting point is 01:08:29 Fourth of July, Brooklyn, after hot dog, Nathan's hot dog, they got to the job. Do you think they got tuned up, like Vegas back in the day, or you think they made it out of there? It depends, I don't know, is that like a legal?
Starting point is 01:08:42 They're like, I was just working to get them. First of all, they're just up like, fucking Star Wars characters That's got to be strike number one out there. Oh see I don't but is that a legal like could the cop like I mean I'm supposed to go on stage here and that a lot of all Is that a wall yeah, you I mean dude you know I'm gonna go on this that's not a wall That's what I'm sorry. What are you a fucking Peter? Who are you what do you don't believe in America? Huh, you know like hot dogs
Starting point is 01:09:06 the real i mean talk about a there you should have a lot of who is this guy i fucking putin i think i thought i knew him bobby but the fuck's going on it's not a legal there's a lot of like you let me ask you question you as a fucking human being in a doubt about the wrong hang on i'm like one of those guys who defends like you know
Starting point is 01:09:23 yeah i know you're like fucking the You there's a barrier. There's something going on. There's the people doing it the concert the hot dog eating competition and then you sure I should you go up there. I'm not saying you should or should it, but I don't think that's illegal. Oh My god, who is he? I mean I had I mean I don't think it's a good defensive turn to get the yeah, those kick it that charge thrown out Yeah, you're gonna charge them with storming the Penal code a funny this a party poop or fucking law This guy stinks they ruined the fucking party
Starting point is 01:10:04 Did you or did you not not take part in the macarena? You would have done 73 hot dogs. It's true. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna head the record. Yeah The hot dog lobby has compulsory strings to get him though. I'm sure the goons out there coding out on two nose guys up a little I hope so I hope they got a nice hot dog up the wrist beating now that makes me fucking sick that a fucking stupid Protests, I love it. I love a good Street justice or like you had it coming my mom that's even in my family mama You you had it coming. I tell her like I got like punched in the face at about what were you doing? You're in a bar drinking you had it coming. It's like very like you get what you so street justice is my favorite thing to look on the internet
Starting point is 01:10:46 Oh like or like bullies getting beat off bullies get punched. Oh, I fucking love it I love it people people like like Karen's then the cops show up and see him just change their to Mm-hmm. Oh, I love it nice a nice guy. Hey, man I don't want to fight the guys like fuck you and then the guy says I don't want to just punches him in the face and knocks him out my favorite thing in the world Yes, anybody say if you're about to square up with somebody says and they say hey, man I don't want to fight you that guy's gonna kick your fight I got you know, it's real what I don't want to do this Yeah, I can do this. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. This is already pre-determined
Starting point is 01:11:22 Yeah, you're gonna get fucked up. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do what is already predetermined. Yeah, you're gonna get fucked up. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do what I'm about to do to you. You're making me do this. If you don't stop and go, what is this? You're not a smart man. Oh, I mean, be me. Put your shirt back on and leave. Find another Applebee's to go through.
Starting point is 01:11:36 Yeah. Smoking in the fucking driveway shirtless. What's wrong with you? I want one of those shirts. Yeah, I'm in any of you. Three X. I want one. All right, well, listen. What's this thing you got you got you you got DM from Wawa. Oh, yeah, Wawa hit me up.
Starting point is 01:11:52 We have a cup. I bought a mug. They have like a thermos that I bought like for the for our set. It's on a table and they saw it. I guess somewhere came across the radar. Right. So they were like, hey, can we send you some stuff? Or can we send you something? Oh, isn't that the best? I know, I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's gonna be like a gift card or like, you ever got me yet? No, it just just happened.
Starting point is 01:12:11 Hope it's a soft pretzel. I'm gonna six foot hokey coming to the studio. Fucking perishables, you're, dude, you're supposed to be on the diet. We just had a talk. Are you fucking home for perishables? A multi grain, whatever they got. There's no multi-grain pretzel
Starting point is 01:12:25 It's wrong with you. They multi-green cheeses So they give you on the plane, dude, you know, he does really stink. You're not supposed to eat the food on the plane Okay, I'll remember that for Bring your own snacks man. Yeah, Carrots something not a carrot also We get flagged. I finally I mean do we've traveled? It's been like 38 city or 40 man. Yeah, Carrots something. Not a carrot. Also, we get flagged. I finally, I mean, do we've traveled? It's been like 38 city or 40 cities. Yeah. I finally just got him to get fucking TSA pre-chat. Like just. You did? Just. Oh, man. Just. But like, I'm talking like, we've traveled the country and he had been waiting for him. You got to get him clear. What? Clear.
Starting point is 01:13:02 Baby steps. Baby steps. He still keeps getting flagged because he brings an industrial size. Can't, they're a bit of musul. And they don't know, it looks like he's bringing in seven gallons of fucking anthrax on the plane. Why are you bringing that capsule? They keep getting bomb-ested. Well, you did.
Starting point is 01:13:19 I'm sorry to keep the engine running. Dude, men of musul is the worst thing in the world for you. I don't think it is. Abs 100%. Who told you that? Bone broth guy. Big bone broth is talking. Dude, Metamusel fucking just rips away the insatiest stomach. All the good proteins inside the stomach. I'm a serious stuff. I could imagine. It's cleaning you out. Dude, it gives you nice doodoo, though. It gives you nice doodoo, but it fucking
Starting point is 01:13:42 works. You're not supposed to take it like Tom's your piece of shit you're supposed to take I take I take a break close it on his eggs in a morning yeah what are you doing that your orange juice you cocks I got I take it every night every night met a new soul yeah you might look into that that might not be good that's not good dude okay yeah don't that's all like when you're jammed off yeah they use that for operations yeah it's not like a it's not like when you're jammed off. It's not like a daily, they use that for operations. Yeah, it's not like a daily supplement. Yeah, I don't think I know. You're supposed to be able to shit on your own.
Starting point is 01:14:09 Okay, yeah. All right, all right, dude, look that out. No cheesets, no cheesets, no. Metamethway, as an dietary supplement, it can be taken every day up to three times per day. Yeah, who wrote that? Metamethway. You sold.com.
Starting point is 01:14:21 You fucking idiot. You fucking idiot. It fucks rowy, you. I cooked you, there dealer something the same thing Yeah, you can do two grams a day all right So there's satin you ever got it yet. I haven't gotten it yet. I had to fill out Like this questionnaire online for like, you know, whatever. Don't you hate that? Yeah, I'm like just like that I'm gonna be what I'm question air because it was like size location whatever whatever
Starting point is 01:14:43 Instagram handles or something like that. Let's go ship the higgy. Hang on, was it? Did you back up? What? Did you back up as, yes. Oh, God, hang on. Uh-oh.
Starting point is 01:14:53 Yes, I'm on a pod-ca- Bobby's empire is crumbling out with one text. Oh, it's my wife. She doesn't give a fuck. Oh, no. Doesn't care. What'd she say? Did you back up what?
Starting point is 01:15:03 His iPad. Okay. His iPad. Okay. His iPad, I'm gonna talk about it. We're podcasting it. We're doing very well right now. Okay. I'm in love with my wife again.
Starting point is 01:15:13 I'm really fucking into her again. It's great. I don't know if that happens if you know about that, but you get in and then you get out and then you get in. I'm back in love with her again. I think I want a banger again. There you go. You know what I mean? That's what I want to lose some weight. I want to lose all the weight
Starting point is 01:15:27 I want to fucking get two sleeves Take some jiu-jitsu get a fucking mo-ped and fuck my wife. Yeah, yeah, you mean the stomach sleeve? No my fucking Attachoo is your dad for both of us stomach That bone broth really having an effect. Oh, I get to sleep. I've got three stomachs now That bone broth's really having an effect. Oh, I get to sleep. You guys got free stomachs now So to cans and shit, whatever he's grazing on. Oh fuck me. I listen. We're gonna go to grass grass fed her There was 100% grass fed Bobby right here forgot him and but your body. Shut up the free range Bobby, huh? Wild caught if you guys didn't have your own podcast. I would have you on every week
Starting point is 01:16:05 Thank you, but you guys didn't have your own podcast. I would have you on every week. Oh, thank you You guys is so funny. I mean you're you're blood sugar drops at the end like an hour What can you catch in the fucking tailing you're grueling me about being a big guy? I'm pretty sure he had a put gum in his mouth just to fuck a finished this podcast It's all loopy doesn't know what's going on The first time we the first time we did your I got a minute mussel in here, please cracker. First time we did WD back in the day. Yeah, years and years ago.
Starting point is 01:16:31 Yeah, you were like back when Scopo was oh my god. Right in the shop. You were like we were because we do work what we we tag and we and you're like I saw we tagged a joke like 17 times. I saw you go for my god. This is fun. These guys are good to like hating it at a meet You really are a fucking tag factory
Starting point is 01:16:48 I was like, oh that one hurts. I was alright. You guys are figuring it out. You're like seven tags this time. That's the most you're dead. I like that. I like that he licks his mind. I we got questions from you from my fans who are your fans by the way that love that Love the eight grossing glass as you got I can't see anymore do Why don't you get the big ones? You've made that joke when he was on the camera Bobby Kelly had a food and beverage Welcome to the Bobby Kelly show It's a deep casino I'm not a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy.
Starting point is 01:17:28 I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy.
Starting point is 01:17:36 I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy.
Starting point is 01:17:44 I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy in thank you mode. He's he's in sorry mode. So he's gonna say sorry. It's like 15 times The only way to accept that joke is that we all we were living in Key West. That'd be an acceptable fucking snack. We'll fish tacos guys. Yes. It's noon. You're like Keele empire. You're a Keele. No, no, but do you like fucking eat it? Wait, really? 100% I'm saying I'm looking right at you. It's crazy. Kilaan pot. We went to Key West and I got Kilaan pot I got two of them. I gave them my call to Yeah, I thought I was gonna love it. Yeah, let me make sure Get away. I swear to God. What goodbye? Get away. Kilaan pot for old kind of pie guy. I'm not a key lime What's it? I don't even know what it is sucks. It. It's fluffy airy. It's no good. It's not
Starting point is 01:18:26 refri- No way pie is refreshing. That's the fattest shit I heard. Yeah, brushing your teeth. I mean, I got me full of sob. I'm feeling spry. A shower is refreshing. You fucking fat fuck. Not a chicken parm sandwich. Dude, that meatball sub was refreshing. That's the damn people sub was refreshing. Ah. Dude, that really took the edge off. It's refreshing. Woo, okay, scrub bone.
Starting point is 01:18:51 Lemonade is refreshing. Scruffy bones. Ready? How the Patreon sales gone? Trudoroof. Good. Trudoroof. There you go.
Starting point is 01:19:03 Okay. Fahad Akwan Tineini. Okay. He's Irish. How was interviewing the legend Louis CK? It was fantastic. It was awesome. It was wild.
Starting point is 01:19:15 We were nervous. We were shitting on our pants. Were you? Yeah. Of course. I've never met him and I didn't know what, I didn't know what he meant to me. Like in the sense of just like comedic influence
Starting point is 01:19:27 and like on the industry and I don't know. It was also a guy I thought I would never meet, you know what I mean? By the time I started doing okay, he was, you know, it's like he's so far ahead and then kind of, you know, cluelessed a little bit. Right.
Starting point is 01:19:41 I was like, I'll never fucking cross paths with this guy. Yeah, that just sit down with him was crazy. Yeah, that show had a huge impact on me. Yeah. It had a huge impact on me. I mean, obviously, that's, you know, you were so brilliant. And I told him that fucking, I'll unbelievable. He was ball-washing it a little after. Oh, 100%. And yeah, I mean, I wasn't a fan, but, you know, I was making that show when I was fucking coming up in a village and I was fucking waiting tables in his neighborhood And I would stay out all night and I would sleep on a park bench in front of the place that I waited tables at and I'd wake up and Fucking see Louis walking his kids to fucking school
Starting point is 01:20:12 And then I would see them shooting it and stuff like that and I'd see him walking by and you know all that stuff Those three late night episodes where he tries to take over the late show I mean I watched them every couple of weeks that fucking Gary Marshall speech, fucking all the time. The thing that I made with Irene Morales, that was directly influenced by him, the way we shot it and everything. That's a huge fucking deal.
Starting point is 01:20:35 That show meant so much us. We were in the village, around the corner at the lantern and shit, trying to get fucking shows off and trying to do bar shows and people were barking and shit. And then this was the seller was closed and that was the height of that show was like, you know,
Starting point is 01:20:47 blew the seller up and it was like, made it so prestigious. We just want to fucking be like, and then to know you and you were on that show, we were like, it was like, we barely knew you, but like fucking Bobby killed it. Like, it was an extension into that world, you know. And then to be in the room with them and that's I yeah, I cried the next day I cried really. Oh man. That's fucking we both did he would call me every 10 minutes crying Oh, yeah, man it meant a lot to us right sure, you know what I mean. That's fucking great. I love that
Starting point is 01:21:16 That's why I love like what he does Louie does he he's very inclusive It's a cool and he's a cool guy. He's not he's not above You know, he's not he's He is a little recluse once a while, but he's to go on your show and with show and oh, yeah, it was all that's fucking great Shout out to fucking Joe list Joe's fucking we fucking love him to death. He is he is the best. I love Joey and he really and Just like on a larger scale. It's like I I'm you know it's exciting that like you know is he gonna start making more of these and fucking in just you know pushing through it's like it's so cool to see him doing that like coming back with a fucking movie like that yeah so yeah
Starting point is 01:21:56 yeah yeah I know we were we were blowing you but it's no it's great it's not fucking good I'm very happy it makes me happy because uh yeah man I can't wait't wait. I'm gonna listen to the episode we get. We get it. I'm excited for you guys. Okay, great. John, this is from John. Okay. That's it.
Starting point is 01:22:11 Is it garbage to refuse to take off your shoes when a friend asks you to at their house? I think it's garbage to ask someone to take your shoes. Fuck yeah. Unless they're like very close. Like, unless you're Japanese. Yeah, that obviously. You're Japanese at my home. That's cultural. Yeah. But yeah. Unless they're like very close. Like, unless you're Japanese. Yeah, that obvious.
Starting point is 01:22:25 You're Japanese, that's cultural. But like if he's coming over my house. I don't think it is, that's such an 80s thing. Do Japanese people damn see? I seen Donnie Brasco, right? They did it in that movie. I wouldn't ask of, somebody who's coming over for dinner,
Starting point is 01:22:41 hey, take your fucking shoes off and let's sit down and eat fucking fish tacos. My sock game is weak most of the time. Yeah, my sock game is never up. Yeah. I don't even know if they're the same sock a lot of time That's one of our new garbage questions are both your socks matching right? It's it's bad to ask somebody do you take your shoes off your your piece of shit? Mm-hmm. Yeah, you're a dick to ask. Yeah, you saw something on the internet when somebody told you some stupid shit and you don't know how life fucking works.
Starting point is 01:23:10 I get at a certain age too. It's like, yeah, if you're a kid running around playing in the yard or whatever, take your fucking shoes off before you come to the house, but as an adult, to take my fucking shoes off is crazy. Yeah, here's the thing, not wearing shoes in the house. Like, I have to take my shoes off when I walk into my house. Right, but if somebody came over,
Starting point is 01:23:27 I wouldn't say, hey, take your shoes off. No, absolutely. You're rollin' the dice on that. I take my shoes off when I go to my house. Yeah, yeah. But if you came over to my house, you don't have to take your shoes off. Yeah, fuck that.
Starting point is 01:23:37 Yeah, yeah, good for you. We're all on the same page. Steve, is it garbage to wear a Rolex but drive an economy SUV? Is that a shot at somebody? I know for me. I drive a fucking Ford truck so you can go suck you dick. You got a role at me. Fuck yeah. Holy shit. I got fucking two. Listen. I, uh, I wouldn't get a fake one. I think you could be talking about boss. could be talking about us. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha He's a garbage that a herni and your throat. I don't know. I mean, any, you know, I wanted a car is pretty classy. It depends.
Starting point is 01:24:29 It's just I don't know. If you have a Rolex, I go, yeah, whatever. Who gives a fuck? Yeah, fucking Rolex. Yeah. You get a Rolex. You got a Rolex. I'm a watch guy.
Starting point is 01:24:38 I love fucking watches. I'm not. But when I am a movement, what do you mean? What'd you say? Movement. It's who I am. Is that dance? No, MVMT? It's who I was at dance? You know, nvm t. It's a sponsor for a look. Oh,
Starting point is 01:24:53 Charizard. I like the Lombata. I think I know Steve is Steve go fuck yourself. Yes, you drive a Toyota Can I ask how much that was is this and I apologize to the throat hurting you? It's so funny It's like you just put it on I can't not say I know it's like nice one. It's blinding the colors What is that that's 10 nice one. It's blinding the colors. What's that? That's 10 G's, 15 G's. Yeah. I'll say it's 11 a.m. No, no, no, it's not 20. Okay.
Starting point is 01:25:12 Rolex is not that expensive. Like stainless steel. This is a skydwell, a black skydwell. This is my holy grail watch. 10 G's is an example. What are you talking about? It's expensive, but when you look at it, it's worth 30. Like if I was able to sell it, yeah. Yeah, right? It's almost, yeah, you look at it, it's worth 30. Like if I was a little salad, yeah. Yeah, right?
Starting point is 01:25:25 It's almost, yeah, it's a... Holy shit. I didn't put that. Thank you, Nicole. Yeah, there it is. Where's Bobby's? Nicole's a backstabber. I mean, she's just a bad human.
Starting point is 01:25:34 Where's Bobby's? It's a Sky Dweller. But that's the blue one. Mine's worth like 30. Jesus Christ! What? 30 grand in? 30 grand in?
Starting point is 01:25:44 No, I didn't pay that. Oh, I would never do that. When you, they go up, that's the lip, that's the gray market. On shop. That's the gray market. And Rolex is just like an investment. Sure. So you could buy a Rolex. Would you get it at the airport? Do you free? No, I got it at Mayors.
Starting point is 01:26:04 John? Yeah, John Mayor gave me a son glass hut in the mall for punching up some of his stuff when he was with the grateful debt. Now he, uh, you know, God, mayors is a big and and and he really took a shot on that. He just he just fell into a John Mayors song. Oh my God. And you didn't catch it. May the confidence you can stepped over that. Yikes. Uh, couple stinkers. He got him another piece of gum.
Starting point is 01:26:28 Say my best game. I have a good one from Lou. Lou, is this Louis CK? No. OK. Lou A. Don't think he's on Patreon. I got it.
Starting point is 01:26:37 Also, Louie, I saw Louie at the after party. I'm like, hey, fantastic job. Love the movie. Thanks. He goes, by the way, that podcast is killing it. I wanted to be like, yeah, because you were on it, Louis What do you not know who you are? He's like, that thing's doing really well. Yeah, you're wildly famous. We shot a a stupid video in his hotel room For Louis. He bought the whole
Starting point is 01:26:58 Just to let you know if you want to watch the show Louis the only place is Louis CK dot com I purchased it you can go there and buy it thirty bucks i think just doing it while he owns it because once it goes back you don't know where the fuck it's gonna go and it might disappear i watch bang bang last night with my my wife all you did yeah i'll great i'll get you where that into your place was where were you wanted to was on the east side okay uh... i don't know we were we're standing there and we was i mean literally making up
Starting point is 01:27:24 as we're doing it he's like like, what do you wanna do? I go, I don't know, and we just started doing this. He's like, no. And I was like, all right, Dallet, Diner, Indian. He goes, great. And then we just found an Indian place. Yeah, look, fuck. You wiping the sauce off with the non.
Starting point is 01:27:40 Yeah, right. Is that's a pro move? That is a pro. But the pro's not instead of bread chubby mother I live next to an Indian place I love Indian food so do I I feel so blessed let's not do a phato moment Or I'll just eating after the show I walk out my door every day and I smell the Indian food It's so I'm like it's fantastic. Oh, it's
Starting point is 01:28:02 Diffusing in red Oh, you sit down and give you like 15 sauces. Oh, no. Spice. They're all different colors too. Oh, I, Lou, not Lou, he's CK, Lou. Our hair extensions, classy or trashy? I think, I don't know. That's trashy.
Starting point is 01:28:21 Yeah, probably pretty trashy. I mean, I know people get jammed up. They gotta do it, they gotta do it. I was thinking about getting some's trashy. Yeah, probably pretty trashy. Yeah. I mean, I know people get jammed up. They gotta do what they gotta do. But I was thinking about getting some in the front. Yeah. Is that a hurt? Is that a hurt? Can I say something?
Starting point is 01:28:31 Look at like Rick James rolling around. You look, your baldness looks good. Thanks. He's, I'm not gonna, I'm trying to, you know, I do the Rogaine and the Propecia, whatever, but it's like, I'm married. I got a good looking name. I'm relatively successful in this world.
Starting point is 01:28:48 I'm checked out. I like your hair. Thanks. Like Tom Poppaz, Louie's good the way. I tell him all the time, it's very Bruce Willis. I like your baldness. My baldness had a little baby curl here, and then it went away.
Starting point is 01:28:58 I look like a fucking moron. That's all, I don't care about, I don't care that it's going back or this. I just don't want to lose, be like, I don't want this little patch here, so I'm just trying to fight to keep it. Looks good, I like it. Thank you's going back or this. I just don't want to lose, like I don't want this little patch here. So I'm just trying to fight to keep it. Looks good, I like it. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:29:08 Very 1950s man. Ooh, I'll take that. I mean, nobody can fuck with this Greek goddess. No, no, no, no, no. Oh my god, look at that shit. It's all I got good hair, that's it. The Greek goddess of fish tacos. Let's go.
Starting point is 01:29:20 I know. Zika. I have to do a couple small business tier reads at the end. Right, mush? Holy shit, mush. What's up, honey? How does he sneak anywhere? Ha ha ha ha ha.
Starting point is 01:29:34 Yeah. How did you not notice a fucking a two something Mexican walking from I some walking for you did? Did you get scared? All right, ready? I got one more question for you guys. Okay for Kippy and Foley Do you think the show over shadows? Well, I don't like it already you stand up too much Also, when is Patty coming on to the show? Show us how to properly make a cutlet. Ooh a hashtag
Starting point is 01:30:03 $10 homie. Oh, I shot up to the 10 dollar homie. You got to hashtag, $10 homie. Nice. Shout out to the $10 homie. Shout out to the $10 homie. You gotta love the $10. Yeah. $10 is a good people. They get hard feelings. They get a lot of people, $5 people, good people.
Starting point is 01:30:14 $10 people. We have a different breed of people. Depending on your whole other podcast, you get hard feelings where we just like and bitch at each other. I think we have eight times the amount of $10 homies. We have no five, there's like a couple hundred five dot people like to pay a a like a they like it they like it which is awesome
Starting point is 01:30:29 uh... well what's this is what is all this the whole one day what we were talking about fucking bone broth now i was got was that was furious when i heard the word over that one might might as it overshadow our stand-up he say that what we talked about their people aren't i don't i think the live shows they go and like our live show is very good. We are two, you know, we are two very strong working comedians
Starting point is 01:30:52 that each co-headline and then we're, you know, we're very good together. And it's like our live shows are fucking very, very, very good. So I think that if you come out to a live show, you get to see what, you know, our stand-up on its own. Yeah. I don't, I think you're right. I think you if you come out to a live show, you get to see what are stand up on its own. Yeah, I don't, I think you're right.
Starting point is 01:31:08 I think you're 100% right. I think you come out to one of your shows and get to see you guys do stand up up front, have a fucking blast, and then go into the thing that they can eat. They like that they like and they connect with and they get to ask us their questions. And the hard part of those things though is this.
Starting point is 01:31:25 I don't know, like when we did, it's how he ended. Like what is the laugh? What is that boom? Stand up, you know what you're closer. Sure. So you know, all right, that's it. Thank you, good night. When you do the live thing at the end,
Starting point is 01:31:38 like with, that's why Bennington was awesome. Cause he knew when. Or concentrated it a little bit. Yeah, I knew how to, like I always found when I did the YKWDs, when do you fucking... It's tough. And it's like, do we do enough time? That was a good one.
Starting point is 01:31:52 Fuck. Sure, we shouldn't have pushed it. We have a pretty good... Like, even the thing with Louis, we did it the movie. We should have ended that five minutes before. Why did my mic all of a sudden become crystal clear? Did my head just clear?
Starting point is 01:32:06 It's something just happened. A Rolex started working. It's tough. We have a pretty good ear for it. I'm like, it's because it is very similar to stand up. And we don't, it's all blind. It's all just like, I pulled the like the 10 best questions and then we just go and I just read. Like he doesn't know what they are. So it's like just like yeah, I pulled it like the like the 10 best questions, right? And then we just go and I just read like he doesn't know what they are
Starting point is 01:32:26 So it's like we kind of that's the fun part of the scene. We're really flying blind and it's like that's great We try to if we true, you know, and we've missed a couple of times where we both would have been like fuck That is it, you know, we're like, so you have to say something. I'll tag it. It works and he tries to tag it again It doesn't work. I miss and you're like fuck. We should have got out but you know, but you guys recover from that you guys are fucking fast on the fly Thank you. Thanks, but yeah, hey to the I got a question for you, and then I got to do these reads if you don't mind I don't know. I got some some small business tier sponsors. Mm-hmm who I love helping out the the small businesses. But you guys came to New York with a crew.
Starting point is 01:33:11 And your crew seems to slowly be popping up, right? Sure, yeah, yeah. Is there any jealousy between any guys for what's going on with you? Do they want, because you guys were all together, sure, right? And then you guys kind all together. Sure. Right? And then you guys kind of split up. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:33:28 And went your own way. Uh-huh. And you became your own little tribes. No, it's all, it's all, it's all love. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody's happy. Everybody, it's also to like, I think when you're like younger and trying to figure it out, it's tensions are higher.
Starting point is 01:33:40 Everybody's nervous. Am I going to make it? Am I not going to make it? Is this guy, is that person, that girl, whatever? But I think now everybody kind of has like a career and his professional comedians. It's like all right, you know Kind of several set happy to see I love to see what Reggie Conco is doing that's fucking the booze that Reggie You know Reggie what's that? I love
Starting point is 01:34:00 I do I love all right. Well, let me get these things and we're gonna wrap it up and give some plugs I want to thank for the fans of Opie and Anthony. Guy Times Presents is the only comedy podcast network in the history of podcasts and you have injected boner medicine into the penis of paralyzed man for the sake of content. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Get it? With over 10 different series all available on the same feed, including Girl Times, Yo, Future Me, our family, Jules and more. It's almost like
Starting point is 01:34:32 shock, shock radio never left at all. That's kind of interesting. These guys went back and got all this stuff and they're, ah, I like that. The feel because that, I believe it's coming back. I believe people want fucked up shit. I think it is turning that way more I think so people want a little edge in their shit again. There's sick of this Disney horse shit Malala. What is this? Malice gems has an ever growing variety of beautiful tungsten carbon rings Oh, I love those those rings to fit any style I love those, those rings to fit any style version of your life. Want to look, a gaudy like Rich Voss?
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Starting point is 01:35:33 and use promo code YKWD for 15% off your order. I'm actually gonna go there and get a ring because I don't like to wear my real ring when I go on vacation. I like to get like a tungsten ring or ring or someone says I'm single or something. I love to take this off. I don't want to. If I wasn't so fat, I can't wait to lose enough weight to the slips right off on stage, hits a chick right in the tooth. Why don't you want to wear an over vacation?
Starting point is 01:35:57 Top. Why don't you want to wear an over vacation? She's trolling. Because no, when you go on vacation, it goes on the water. Uh-huh. And I've lost three of these. Uh-huh. So I usually just get a whatever just whatever just to have just to have on because I do love wearing my plus swell up from all the shellfish well you and the fucking shellfish I mean really I mean what though you if you
Starting point is 01:36:16 you should try eating more shellfish you talk about it you don't have lobster on vacation Bobby fucking boo it's a lot of shellfish he's a whale I hate nothing on that. You went too quick. We didn't get you to talk about shouldn't end it. Go to Robert. I don't want to get out. See me live. Robert cat alive.com and go there. I mean Montreal, just for laughs, doing the nasty show, the whole time I'm up there, Vesonis comedy theater and port Charlotte on the fourth. And then we got
Starting point is 01:36:43 Brewha since in Addy in August. And we got Brewha Haas Cincinnati in August and we got the Asbury Festival in Asbury, Park New Jersey, the 27th. That's 26th to 27th. I'll be doing some very big awesome shows and then I'm at Jim Thorpe in September, October, November. I'm back at it. Newtown Theatre, that's my hometown. I love it.
Starting point is 01:37:03 I love Newtown Theatre. I'll be back at it with more dates coming soon. So go to robbercowleylive.com, click on my dates. And if you want to buy some merch, go to comicwearables.com. You want to pop a king hat? Because you're the pop a king of y'all fucking family, YKWD. We got all kinds of stuff up there. The old logo, the new logo.
Starting point is 01:37:21 And typing code word ladybug get 20% off that's not 10 15 20% off if you use code word ladybug for that merch right there and make sure you go to these guys what should website what do you guys want to plug you don't have a website but all of our tour dates are available starting August 11th we're going to be in red bank New Jersey and then Portland Seattle Nashville Kansas we're all over the fucking place. Just announced Boston, Philly, Rhode Island, get those tickets. Oh yeah. Come out to a live show to a real hoot.
Starting point is 01:37:51 Yeah, man, you got to go see these guys live. Very, very funny. And they're doing their podcast, which is fucking hilarious. One of the funnest podcasts out there to do, to watch. Make sure you check them out. And I love having you guys on. We love you. We love you.
Starting point is 01:38:07 We love you, Thaqqon. We love you. We love you. Thaqqon. Thaqqon. Thaqqon. Thaqqon. We love you.
Starting point is 01:38:14 We love you. Thaqqon. Thaqqon. Thaqqon. Thaqqon. Thaqqon. Thaqqon. Thaqqon.
Starting point is 01:38:22 Thaqqon. Thaqqon. Thaqqon. Thaqqon. Thaqqon. Thaqqon. Thaqqon. You're like, I'll take care of you. I see, but who's coming in next? Jared, Jared Fried? What's up? All right, guys. What's the secret? What? Oh, shit. We're gonna read these names.
Starting point is 01:38:31 Yeah. All right, let's do this. Can we read these? We help me read them. Buddy, I'm a slave to the picture. And I get it. Let's do read them, Folly. Read them.
Starting point is 01:38:38 Come on, Jerry Lynn and Tan Trell. You got Jeremy Wolf. You got every morning. No, no enthusiasm. I mean, not to do it. Andrew Smith. Thank you. Daniel Lindsay Sean Hadley Zach Cariri Dean Lewis. What is that? I mean look at a hundred a month
Starting point is 01:38:56 Holy shit dude. I want to suck Zach off Zach Dean Lewis and Delicious rift That's beautiful. That's the that's the jewelry. Militious riff. What's up, baby? There you go I'm gonna buy some of that jewelry right there. All right Did I say it right? The gems Malice gems There you go now go see them God bless you.. Yeah, God bless. We'll see you guys next week.
Starting point is 01:39:25 You know what, uh... Shitty dodge, shitty dodge you you

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