Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Happy Birthday Bobby!

Episode Date: October 14, 2019

Its Bobby's birthday and some of his oldest friends Joe Derosa and Bill Burr are in to celebrate, reminisce and trash each other! Its music comedy rains and special guests on this weeks YKWD! Learn mo...re about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. ¿Dónde nadie pregunta, ¿dónde viene? ¿Si no, por qué no te viene? Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvida. Hoy es un día de eso, que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso, que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos.
Starting point is 00:00:20 Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la Dición Especial de Madrid nos liga. Un humenaje de de mao a Madrid. I'm stuck in the bottom line, you know what I'm dead I'm in the sparks, I'm in the sparks, I'm in the sparks You know what I'm dead Really dude, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, We're back. What are you gonna pull a boss? I don't like wearing them. Why? I don't know. They make me hot. I run hot. I don't like wearing them. You make me hot. Hey.
Starting point is 00:01:28 Hey. Say it for our fair. What's up? We're here. This is a very impromptu YKWD. Wasn't supposed to happen. But it's happening. It is. It's happening.
Starting point is 00:01:41 We got Joey D. Happy to be here. The mother fucker, the happy to be here the mother fucker the place to be Joey D one of my favorites one of the original They have the regs then we have the ridge yeah, you're the ridge your ridge your the ridge your ridge soldiers like when Solders like when Ron Howard left happy days. He was the next guy in who played Ron after that what happened with Ron Howard? It was it was Ted McGinley the same guy that took over as the neighbor in Marri where children
Starting point is 00:02:15 That guy yeah, he was on happy day. He didn't play Ron He didn't play this in character. He played like a cousin that came to live with them after Ron Howard left really Yeah, and then the show fell apart. Oh yeah because Ron was the you needed Ron you need it yeah you need it like Rosanne needed Rosanne they're going strong still no they just they just what's the ratings on that show they said it was the highest rated show on ABC what what what is it I don't know the numbers but it just it just premiered the new season premiered again there's no way that shows good. I've heard not not one. If I don't watch it and that's a theory I have, if I don't watch it, it's not a good show.
Starting point is 00:02:52 I got some friends on the show. So I hope it does well for them, but I also think it's weird that they're doing it without Rosa. We really can't have the real full Joe DeRosa opinion because your Hollywood in this song. I mean, if I'm being honest, I'm not a fan of it without Roseanne, but I also have friends that are who's on it. Who's on it? My friend Jay's on there and has a what? He plays Sarah Gilbert's like love interest and Sarah Gilbert.
Starting point is 00:03:16 I did a sitcom with and she's, she's really sweet. And you know, so I hope they make their money, but it, but it's that the chick that's on the, the, the, the, the talk. It's a a call that not the two talk the talk. Oh the views the other. Okay. Yeah the talk the talk Is that that's her? Yeah, yeah, she really a lesbian in life. Yeah, she's married to the woman from a foreign on blondes Remember that song yeah good song. Yeah I say hey, yeah, yeah, I say hey. Yeah, what's going on? I like that song a little bit man, but baby, you know, side of the mother, well, we got it.
Starting point is 00:03:52 I can't real. I say, hey, dumb hat. Her sweaty top hat. She had made it, but he's dressed like a Batman villain. Yeah, she had video took seven cows to make that hat. Just smells like cow shit and sweat. Dad had that had smells like festivals. Yeah, I guarantee it smells like some type of disease. Well, the corners.
Starting point is 00:04:20 Yeah, five five point. Is that good or bad? They do they had to pay 20,000 million. 20,000 million is not a number, first of all. Yeah, but it was exaggerated number, which gave me the point. That's what I do. I exaggerate. I mean, five million is a lot. Dude, 18.9 million people were watching that show on a weekly basis.
Starting point is 00:04:44 That is not good. But that was listen, I hear you. They were watching it every week. But that was a phenomenon. Yeah, because Roseanne was in it. I know. I'm saying though, you know, for what for now, it just being a regular sitcom, 5.5 is pretty high. Yeah, but you're, you're, I mean, I mean, they're behind this is us and this is us is like the fucking show. Yeah, this is us is NCI 12 point. Fuck wow. Empire, dude. The voice. Empire is done though. Empire. And that guy, you know, he lost his mind, right? Who? Smaller or Terrence Howard? Well, there's a lot of crazy. He's a lot. Isn't it true?
Starting point is 00:05:22 Terrence Howard's been nuts from day one. He's dude. Pull up. Terrence Howard, uh, fucking talking numbers in an interview. Have you heard this? No, no, buddy. I put the fucking guy. Terrence Howard losing his mind or something like that. Google that, uh, in an interview. Yeah. Terrence. Yeah. Dude, he's, dude, but here you're going to listen to this. And then I I'm gonna tell you something at the end of it, okay? I mean look Steve bird Remember when he went when he got booted out of iron man because yeah, he demanded as much money as Robert Downey Jr And they were like are you nuts?
Starting point is 00:05:59 They went listen to me. We'll see it. We're gonna be a shorter block. I'd have played you They got they they got, what's his name? Don Chino. Don Chino. He even looked similar. Literally five two. Yeah, they look nothing alike. There's nothing scary about him. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:15 That's so funny. Yeah, play that. Tarantown leaves Earth. Play them, Tarantown leaves Earth. The second one, play this one. This is fucking nuts. Yeah, dude. Yeah, turn that down.
Starting point is 00:06:33 Here we go. Skip over this fuck face. Just go to where he's at. So I hate when they do this on YouTube. That dude's there the whole time. He ain't going anywhere. Yeah, but he, don't they play? Oh, there we go. Okay, there we go. Go back, go back. He,'s there the whole time. He ain't going anywhere. Yeah, but he, don't they play? Oh, there he is.
Starting point is 00:06:45 Okay, there we go. Go back, go back. He listened to me, dude. This fucking guy, right? Yeah, go back just a little bit further. There you go. Play that. We can listen to this guy for a second.
Starting point is 00:06:59 Yeah, there you go. It's that, you know, pedagorean researching board. I was able to open up the flower of life properly and find the real wave conjugations that we've been looking for for 10,000 years. Why would I continue, you know, walking a water for tips when I've got an entire generation to teach a whole new world? That's a big remark. What would you tend to do well anybody this way our inner-genny universe has expressed in motion all motion is expressed in waves all waves are curved so where does the straight arms come from to make the platonic solids
Starting point is 00:07:34 they're all right so when I took the flower of life and opened it properly I thought it was it how perfect perfect is that graphic behind that looks like sand running out of an hourglass like somebody just losing their fucking shit That is such a perfect graphic to be flowing If you listen to this listen to this In between space of that You're gonna be sharing that? I'm sharing that on Tuesday when I received my star. I'm going to be able to prove that gravity is only an effect and not a force.
Starting point is 00:08:10 I'm putting something on YouTube where I will build the planet Saturn without gravity and build the Milky Way galaxy without gravity. Did you want to see you're getting your star? Yeah, I'm the one with the fact that you're the best. Oh my goodness. I'm the one you want to see you're getting your star? Yeah, I'm the walker. I'm the walker.
Starting point is 00:08:27 I'm the walker. I'm the walker. I'm the walker. I'm the walker. I'm the walker. I'm the walker. I'm the walker. I'm the walker.
Starting point is 00:08:35 I'm the walker. I'm the walker. I'm the walker. I'm the walker. I'm the walker. I'm the walker. I'm the walker. I'm the walker. I'm the walker.
Starting point is 00:08:43 I'm the walker. I'm the walker. I'm the walker. I'm the walker. I think like you, I don't mean that shitty. I think you have to be at a certain level of Hollywood star. And they go, look, you can buy one. Yeah, but they buy, how am I getting a star? Because you bought it. You bought it with this money that doesn't seem to matter anymore. Did you hear him?
Starting point is 00:08:59 Yeah, but can I just say something if you think about it? It kind of makes sense. Like in my brand, I'm like, what if he did? What if he did open the flower of life? I mean, it's, it's high list. You are the worst. Did Liz say about when she made me do seven shots? Yeah, she's trying to kill you.
Starting point is 00:09:23 Yeah, and then me and Chey and a drunken stupor booked a fucking show we both forgot about I Yeah, the 29 let's do a co-host of show People to show shit face. Yeah, then Liz texted us a day before like you guys still want to do this Thankfully, Jay was like a SNL. I can't She brought you up more alcohol That's a hundred proof proof. This is I'm no I'm no stranger to cost me goes But I got some nice hornitos here and I like honey. I like corneas better. This start. Ooh. I lost you wrote your name on the back I know I know we're gonna keep it here and I'm gonna drink it, but it's it just started to taste so much like vanilla to me
Starting point is 00:10:02 That's what your crowd say. Like you. Oh, Billy. It's your birthday, dude. I didn't know that. No, he didn't tell me. Yeah. Right. Stop. The AS wrapping paper.
Starting point is 00:10:25 There's another card here too We even did out if this is a certain comedians head Today I know I'll get you birthday today today Noise I didn't yeah, my friends did does this from you my dude This is a sad thing I thought I was 48 and dawn went you're 49 I literally was like I'm 48 she goes Well, I got you a beautiful bottle for your house 40 fucking 49 you got the camera you go with the camera you're gonna open this on air. Should I can I open it on air do you mind? Do you want me to open it off air? Um don't read the car on a card on you nuts
Starting point is 00:11:26 Dear Bobby, I'm so glad you're still in my life I love watching a guy open a present. No, you can watch him open the present Go ahead. You read the you can read the card card Just don't I wrote it today's comedy climate That card is a fireable offense. Oh God. Yeah, I'll never be able to be a senator or a feature act Well, I guess can I read the front of it? Yes? Can I read the card you can read the card? Okay, so Something just don't read the guy some people are just born fabulous and there's a little Well, I would say a little chubby girl in the front of a problematic
Starting point is 00:12:15 All right Like you for like you for example happy birthday. I am a read the rest of the card, but in silence. There's no cameras behind me, right? Yeah, don't reach out. One of them is a callback to your spelling error from the fucking 1990s internet. I know exactly what that is. That's all you have to say. Ha ha ha ha read it? Does cameras though, you gotta hold it down. You can't read that.
Starting point is 00:12:47 That's a great one. Literally how he's felt that word too. I did, he sounded it out. All right. All right, let's get this from the person excited. This paper is... I remember that. Remember you pointing that out to me.
Starting point is 00:13:05 Are you telling me that and laughing heartily about it? Mike, should I open yours first? It's from all of it. Oh, it's from all of it. Jesus, I look like a real asshole. I didn't know it was your birthday, dude. No, Joe, I got you. I need some work.
Starting point is 00:13:17 Make sure you have what you need. I didn't know it was your birthday. Happy birthday, dude. Happy birthday, dude. Happy birthday, dude. Happy birthday, dude. Happy birthday, dude. Happy birthday, dude. Happy birthday to you, dear Bobby. Happy birthday to you, too. You guys are so nice. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:13:46 Oh, dude. Dude. You're based from hell. Fucked me. Did it bug you? It was a shit. It was annoying me. It was really bad, dude.
Starting point is 00:13:57 Oh, man. That's right there. That's the Lexus right there. Fuck, dude. That's awesome I really do have a shitty drum pedal Wow You so that is so man, thank you so much. That's a nice gift bill. That is a fucking great gift
Starting point is 00:14:22 That is a great gift. All right, so expecting some softball questions for the rest of this podcast. Well, I would love to, though, we're just gonna do softball questions. And this is from Michael and the whole crew here at YKWD. Now, can that be read on air, Michael? Do I pull this or something? Is this something Mexican?
Starting point is 00:14:42 Michael? It's not a working video. Oh, okay. Can I read this on air? My be out of it. It's not a working period. Oh, okay. Well, can I read this on air? Yes, okay, happy birthday and Liz and Liz we love you Liz Colin Keith No, it says not boss. Yeah, that's hilarious. Maybe Norton depending on his mood I Great card that girl to cough the top. Dross had nothing to do with this. She just is evil Who said that please? She fucking rides
Starting point is 00:15:25 No, I could also also know about it to kill the where there was a drink this like a real man also, SD know by proxy happy birthday, Bobby from my exact Gabby. That's so nice. Thank you. That's very nice. Thank you very much. What fell out of it? You took something out of it. Something come out of this. Is this something in it? Oh, it's just production. Is there a gift in there? Uh, no, there's no just a card. Yeah, just a card. What do you mean making me fast that question for me? That's good. I like this nice. What do you want? I was just gonna give
Starting point is 00:15:50 You open with the closer I did I really fucking did put that fan on second when he needed to go Yeah, that's a nice card. They all care about me. They said not you work in pinion This is fucking great. I want to go play the drums. I got a new neighbor though, Burr. I knew people Dolores who was the best next door. I love that play in the drums. Never gave a fuck.
Starting point is 00:16:16 But I got a brand new neighbor that moved in next door. This couple. And I don't know if they, you know, the drums are right in that room. Well, here's the thing. Did they both work? Just played now they got a brand new baby coming. Oh She brought you better respect that drums are obnoxious dude. Yeah, you have to you got a fucking you have to sound proof of room You just can't have you just have yours. This is just air in a room. Yeah, mine is just in a room
Starting point is 00:16:40 But like huge 1950s. Did you remember we had that neighbor that sang this was the voice lessons and they were like, oh, you're like, shut up. Just drums are worse than that. When I was growing up, our neighbors called the cops on us all the time because I played drums.
Starting point is 00:16:58 They were called cops on us. Yeah, I know. I got the pads. Maybe I'll put the pads. I'm gonna go over to them and go listen. I'll do those things aren't good because what happens with those fucking pads? You hurt your wrist.
Starting point is 00:17:07 Yeah, it goes, like the shot goes into your arm rather than, you know, you just hit in the drum and let it hit. And you want to hear the fucking things anyway. You're not playing them to play. Soundproof and dead. By one less. How do I soundproof a window?
Starting point is 00:17:20 By one less hatchet and spend the money on soundproof in the room. What the fuck does that mean? What do you mean that? You buy a lot of hatchets and knives and money on soundproof in the room. What the fuck does that mean? What do you mean? You buy a lot of hatchets and knives and things to go on your camping trip. Yeah, I like I like I know I'm saying skip out on the next the hatchet 5,000 that you got your eye on and just sound. So which I fucking uploaded.
Starting point is 00:17:38 I wasn't even thinking I was tired last night and I fucking upgraded to the new operating system and it just killed my phone. Yeah, I like and do and I got to get the new operating system and it just killed my phone. Yeah. And I gotta get the new one. Fuck, man. You can't have it. We mean you can't have it. You can't have it.
Starting point is 00:17:50 Well, I can't, I can't have it. Why can't I have it? I'm making a joke. I'm doing good. I can't have it. I'm like, one of my texts go through unless I'm on like a Wi-Fi system here. It's weird people call me and then I gotta fucking,
Starting point is 00:18:03 you know, they text me and then I have to call them back. Not in your text goes through. Remind me to send a thank you to Apple folks. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey I was pretty fucking good. I just watched John Fox on the Dangerfield special. And just to hear it when he does that, whatever that fucking bit is with the kid with the name, I fucking love the joke, but just watching Dangerfield bring him up, John Fox.
Starting point is 00:18:34 He goes, okay, you ready, Johnny, baby? All right, Johnny, baby. He was great. I don't, you know what sucks about him is I didn't like him enough when he was around. And now that he's gone, I'm like, fuck. You know, I never paid attention to him. I don't, it was just that guy with a fucking dumb tie. Oh, no respect. But now I look dangerous. I think I'm a John Fox.
Starting point is 00:18:55 Who the fuck is John Fox? John Fox legend. Another guy I shouldn't even fucking. Yeah, really? He's that guy with the eye? No, legendary road guy with the, with the, he had a mullet in the mustache. He was a guy who would always be like, man, I'm gonna tell you something. He sounded like a wrestler.
Starting point is 00:19:10 Just like a butt fucking in a, that's what he would start with. Yeah. He, uh, why don't you just give him out the mouth? I think there's gun started. He, uh, I heard the craziest story ever about him, but the guy told it on a documentary in and of that. so listen to the Tom Rhodes Podcast is the last one that he does before he passed that him the owner the owner of the punchline in Atlanta Told the story in a documentary interview about
Starting point is 00:19:40 John in the 80s John Foxx was banging one of his waitresses and she got a DUI and got taken into jail. So four in the morning, John gets the call. Like, I need you to bail me out. So he calls the fucking club owner because he didn't have a way to get there. And the club owner said they drove to the jailhouse to bail the checkout. And while they were waiting, they went and did Coke in the bathroom. Yeah, I was like, man, there's an he has a million. I remember the Atlanta punchline. I forget how the fucking story went. He somehow was, he was holding a dollar bill that somebody gave him some form of cash and some woman moondum from the crowd and he fucking stuck it for us. Finger first. And everybody laughed, including the woman.
Starting point is 00:20:30 And that was it. That was like the 80's. I wish I was back in the 80's. Yeah. Play that. I'm going to hear this guy. Play Rodney. I want to hear Rodney. Bring it back to Rodney. Put on your seat belts. Okay. Folks, here's John Fox.
Starting point is 00:20:39 All right. Ready for you now, Johnny, baby. Johnny, baby. Look at those jeans. He wearing a hooded sweatshirt. Two firemen are butt-bucking in a smoke-filled room. The chief says what are you doing? He said Sir, this man's got smoke in a lacer. He said we'll give him mouth to mouth as I did. How do you think this shit got started. So how many people think I look like Captain Kangaroo after a rough weekend? Ladies, baby. Hey, the fuckers, I'll tell you that. Breaking up my girlfriend this week, right? That staged relationship where you know it's over, but you hate to lose that stereo.
Starting point is 00:21:24 She's not that bright. She calls me up yesterday. She's John, the light bulb in the bathroom burned out. I don't know how to change it. I said, first, you'll fill the tub with water. I call the day there's no answer. Hey, shit happens, you know. Take care of your bartenders. I was a bartender.
Starting point is 00:21:45 You gotta remember a lot of drinks. You gotta do a lot of assholes. I was a bartender's lady came in with a parrot on her shoulder. Walked in the bars, said, I will fuck, and I will suck. I will fucking suck everyone in his bar. If someone gets with his parrot ways, I said, 500 pounds.
Starting point is 00:22:00 He said, close enough, mister. Ha-ha-ha-ha. He's on, his parent weighs, I said 500 pounds. Jokes. That was a joke. I got jokes. I got jokes. Yeah, we had, what made us go to exposing ourselves so much? Well, that was going on back then. It was just different guys.
Starting point is 00:22:33 It was a weird sort of like, you don't see any of that type of comedy really anymore. It's, is it? Well, comedy's like music where it progresses. Right. So the thing is, is like, if he came up in our era, he would be doing like a different version of that. Because like So the thing is, is like, if he came up in our era, he would be doing like a different version of that because like people listen to me like, oh my god, I went to that's like
Starting point is 00:22:50 your uncle telling jokes or something. It's like, no, that was just the 80s. Yeah. It's the same thing with like music. I mean, like all that fucking hair metal shit that I thought was, dude, this is fucking sick. I go back and watch it now. I was like, oh my god, this is hilarious. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:02 So I don't know. Yeah, like, like, uh, what was I listening to the other day? Warrant. We. Yeah, but I went to see them live. I remember fucking devil honing it at the paradise. Just fucking, wow. Oh, I fucking loved it.
Starting point is 00:23:18 Remember, you looked at me, the lead singer with those big fat lips, looked at me and he went like this and then'm like, fuck it, yeah! It's the greatest thing in my life. I don't know if they see this as warrant or something else that happened. It would be like, you know, there's big fat lips.
Starting point is 00:23:32 Yeah. And I was like, fucking, yeah! He mounted me, dude! He's only seven teeth dead! I was thinking of homes, we don't. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. You did not see that band at the paradise. It was at the paradise. No, the paradise was down.
Starting point is 00:23:51 He always goes, I saw him at the paradise. Paradise was like a 300 seat thing. No, it was worth. South Boston, remember in South Boston, it was all rock clubs. What was the rock club over there? That was the channel. The channel, that's right, son. The channel.
Starting point is 00:24:06 Yeah, that makes more sense. I started out the channel. Yeah, that's it. The channel. You know, they had the Boston... Remember when we... When Al and the monkeys took a hop on... You're hanging on to that fucking thing. All these years of doing stand-up. You need to hang on to a mic stand.
Starting point is 00:24:20 You remember we did the... The... The... The rock-a-bossa Boston show after Alan the monkeys won the The whatever the fuck it was the Boston comedy right? Yes, I was there. Well the year before the year before hey, that was a rough one baby I've never seen three young men ever thrown to the Lions Romans wouldn't have done what they did to the four young men. Four young men. Sorry. That was a roast. They won the Boston Comedy Ride at the WBCM, which was the big rock station. But they had it at the channel. No, they had at the Boston Garden. The year before they had it at the Paradise.
Starting point is 00:24:56 Right. So that's a 300 cedar. The next year, they changed it to the Boston Garden. 14,000. No, no, no, stitches. You wanted it. Stitches. One 14,000. No, no, no, no, stitches. You wanted it stitches. One, no, the Brocka Boston show was at the paradise the year before. It was always at the paradise. It got so big. That's why they put you guys in there.
Starting point is 00:25:15 They changed it to the Boston Garden. We won the comedy riot. They asked us to do the show, a rock show in front of 14,000 people who has an improv. Let me just get this stuff here. They had the main stage where like all these big bands from there, I remember the spin doctors, it was their first fucking tour.
Starting point is 00:25:35 Fish was closing. Oh, jeez. But it was like big, known fucking bands. Blue Shroud. And then, yeah, and then they would have on while they were like changing the set-up. So we keep going. They had a smaller stage where the crowd would turn around and they'd be an acoustic act and then now here's to spend doctors and then this blah blah. So in one of those changeovers, they went to an improv group. This is where the Boston Bruins of Boston,
Starting point is 00:26:00 Celtics, but it was 13,000 fucking people there. Is it the comics come home, please? No, that's the part where they're in it. No, this place didn't exist. This is what's great, dude, is you played the garden, the original Boston garden, that's fucking sick. But they went out there and it was like two seconds, people throwing shit at it. We were the last change over right after the spin doctors
Starting point is 00:26:18 right before fish. And we were all in different college shirts tucked in, like purple, blue, green, yellow, improv group. And we, and Dane Cook had the, the great idea. He goes, we should all turn around and squat down. And when they announced us, we jump and spin to the crowd. And for some reason, we thought that was a good idea.
Starting point is 00:26:42 So they announced us and we jumped up and spun. Oh, I must have blocked that out. I don't remember that part. I just remember walking out. and we thought that was a good idea. So they announced this and we jumped up and spun. Oh, I must have blocked that out. I don't remember that part. I just remember walking out and I was, I mean, I don't been doing comedy like a year and I was just like, this is not gonna go well. Six months.
Starting point is 00:26:54 Dude, you guys won it so fast. I started in March and I, too, by August and I, too, these guys won the riot. And I just remember going like, this is an impossible situation. And I saw it and I just sat there with my mouth open when they started throwing the paper cops down from the upper deck.
Starting point is 00:27:09 I mean, dude, they got a full fucking, they got a full facial on that one. And they were not on stage longer than 40 seconds. They came out, they said, hey, what's up? They were like, hey, what's up? And then you went, you went, and everyone went, like, it was gonna start singing.
Starting point is 00:27:24 They started doing these noises and you saw in their faces like what the fuck are we gonna do? And you guys started doing they they were doing this bit where they did The Chinese karate movie with a fucking the lips of moving was they started to do that Which was a total visual joke? Yeah, you had to be able to see their lips to a stadium full of people on A 13,000 fucking everybody started fucking mushrooms to that and there was no like big screen to put them on It was we never did it with mics because we were in small rooms. So you're holding mics and knowing this We didn't understand that until that night when they were like listen you have these are your mics. We're like yeah, but Don't you have cordless mic? Yes Bobby would sit there Bobby be going like
Starting point is 00:28:02 It's as I would be going like what are you doing it? You found my daughter? Oh doing this really bad thing and then he's doing that In front of 13,000 people and they were like half a second. I was just One guy in the front was going kept going take you keep going keep going you doing great Oh, we love it great. It was one guy That's awesome. We didn't just get off we kept going It was just like oh you must have been on longer than that that I just I gave a speech. You don't remember my speech I gave a speech I go listen. I grabbed the microphone. I took my shirt off and I go listen
Starting point is 00:28:39 We know you didn't come here to see this we know you came in to see rock and roll The spin-d wha, fish, wha. Give us three things that piss you off besides us before we leave. And we tried to do an improv. And I remember I looked at Danes face and he was frozen in the improv. I was frozen and I was just watching it.
Starting point is 00:29:01 He was frozen and I remember a beat of sweat when Overs Eyebrow into his eye when over his eyebrow, into his eye, and over his eye, and down his cheek, and then they started throwing the chips. And he left. That is so funny to me that Boston, even in Boston at a fucking hippie jam band concert, that they're still mad enough to throw shit.
Starting point is 00:29:20 But the thing was, it wasn't really established that spin doctors, the fish thing was the hippie vibe of it. But that was that big thing where they were all scampering because all the, you know, the heavy metal left and the vana came and everyone. So they just threw this hodgepodge thing together. Because even the lineup of bands didn't make sense. It was like everybody got their money like Jeffrey Gaines. Remember him? He came out and saying Jeffrey Gaines. I remember Jeffrey. Remember he saying he came out solo guitar dude. Black dude. Yeah. Dreads. He came out and said you were on. Uh, in what is that? In your the light. Yeah, he did an acoustic cover.
Starting point is 00:29:58 Yeah. Dude, he did that at the garden is the acoustic cover. He he was in our dressing room. We shared a dressing room. It was fucking epic. My buddy in college loved that version of that song. He played that in front of all those people and murdered. Yeah, that guy was good. It was never my cup of tea. I like him, I like him a lot.
Starting point is 00:30:17 He was in a, we shared a dressing room. I remember he came. What's it over there like your Phil Spector? What the fuck with your cup of tea is? You know, would you not get his name tattooed on your arm? Oh. I remember he came over there like a Phil Spector. Pretty good to fuck with your cup of tea, you know? Would you not get his name tattooed on your arm? Oh, he murdered, but he was not my cup of tea. Geez, geez, geez.
Starting point is 00:30:31 I came from more of an avant-garde. I'm a Ramones guy here. I don't know why you're coming at me. I feel, but why don't you lay off? Yeah. It's so funny to get your perspective of it. Because I mean, my perspective of it, I've told a bunch of times, but I can't, I couldn't believe to be in the audience and see people you know.
Starting point is 00:30:53 I just was thinking, oh no. Oh no. That was a make a break moment. That was when people were saying, you guys, oh my, we won the comedy ride. We're doing this. If we pulled that off, which we could have never pulled it off, it's, there was no way to pull that off. As a stand up maybe, but not as a comedy improv sketch group.
Starting point is 00:31:16 Even as a sketch group. I don't even know if you, if you pulled that off, they'd have to be the Ruben Kincade there. This is a fucking YouTube. I mean, I gotta be a big stash, eh? For all your young listeners, that was the manager of the Partridge family. You needed like an agent, type person that would have had to have been there.
Starting point is 00:31:34 Because I would feel like it would have been a bunch of people that were managing bands. Nobody, but if the buzz around us, if we murdered at the garden, because the buzz we had from winning the comedy festival or whatever it was, comedy competition was huge. I think you were a little in the bubble, dude. What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:31:55 I don't think anybody knew you were there. I think everybody was doing what they needed to do. That's so funny. I thought. And then they, they do. I'm telling you, I mean, these guys had combined maybe four and a half years of stage experience. And they sent them out there.
Starting point is 00:32:09 It was, it was almost, it was cruel. Well, I was just gonna say, you have no concept at that level in the business, that that sort of thing won't work. You'll feel fear and all that, but. Well, we didn't know. We were supposed to responsibility the producers to just go, hey, fuck it, just do it.
Starting point is 00:32:26 Well, they changed it. Yeah, they changed it to the garden because it was selling so well. And that when they when it was at the, and they were like 14,000, but you know, we're in the back room. Our dressing room was the girl's bathroom with Jeffrey Gaines. So we were, this is the greatest thing to have.
Starting point is 00:32:42 We had girls just coming in peeing and we were, everybody was hanging out and it was just rock and roll. I remember him, I let the jacket. It was what we ate with the spin doctors. We had dinner with the spin doctor. It was like, we didn't even ever saw a moment like that so heartlessly ripped away. Yeah, man. I mean, dude, it was, what did people do backstage after? Yeah. After I was ignored, dude, it was what did people do backstage after? Yeah, after I was ignored like I've never been ignored
Starting point is 00:33:08 I just told the story when I got boot in Vegas to look on your face when I got off stage The look he had on his face. I remember he came running down the stairs. He just looked at me. He was like I can't even do the face Like I think and they were joking on the podcast. It was like I had a head wound that I wasn't aware of He literally had that you're going to be okay. Look on his face. What show was it? The circus thing.
Starting point is 00:33:33 Yeah, that's just. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so that was that was the same thing where it was. It's just one of those fucking things. That's so funny though that that's. If you go on stage, eventually that happens. That's the business. That's so funny though, that that's, if you go on stage eventually that happens. That's the business.
Starting point is 00:33:47 That's the business in a nutshell. The whisked way up and then immediately. Yeah, but we would, we would drop, made Jetsons elevator you to the top of the fucking Eiffel Tower and then they just dropped you right to the bottom of the room. We didn't, but here's, this is what how it's fucking crazy.
Starting point is 00:34:02 We were not one second, but we nervous. Not for, we were going in and out of the thing looking at the show Like we're gonna be up there like you weren't nervous. Do we what I didn't understand what that was I didn't I'd never It was just like this is great I was nervous after that though. That's insane. I get nervous every fucking time now Every fucking time I go on stage, I get nervous. When we do the Boston Garden now, when we do the Comics Come Home, me and Bill are doing it by the way, November.
Starting point is 00:34:31 Nice. Nice. Wait, so it is the Boston Garden. That is the Boston Garden. It's the new TD Garden. It's actually bigger now. It's a better place. Oh, it was on the thing of Aquinas.
Starting point is 00:34:39 Aquinas is the best. How is it? How is it for you, place? Yeah, okay. It was there. We're actually doing it this year. I was just trying to remember where it first was. The Orphium. The you plays? Yeah. Okay. It was there. Okay. We're actually doing it this year. I was just trying to remember where it first.
Starting point is 00:34:46 The Orphium. The Orphium down that alleyway. That's where, yep, that's where originally the Orphium. That's where they did the bunch of them. The comedy. Shantyo ones. That's one when Patrice said one of the funnier things that I loved. What's that?
Starting point is 00:34:59 Where he was going. He was talking about how white the crowd was. He goes, I can literally see my mother. She laughed in the name. He was fucking hilarious. That's a great. That's such a fucking potrises precise fucking thing to say. And it was, oh my god, it was fucking hilarious. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:20 I wish I, I mean, I like it at the garden. It's great. I know they raised more money. But I do like doing those type of shows in a smaller place because that show's so big now It's you walk out there and it's just like keep that train fucking going Oh, yeah, just keep it going and you're looking in the front row and there's like captain America and fucking cam Neely and big poppy just keep going you fuck face alright good night bring up the next mother fuck right did it up to pay compliment to both of you the year I did it everybody
Starting point is 00:35:49 went out and killed everybody had great sets but then you two closed it and you two went out and took it to another low and I was like Jesus Christ. Well it was it was it shows you like the years of that's that I feel like that's when all the the shows where you get the shit kicked out of you though that's when it shows when you have a high pressure big one like that because you can go out and go all right motherfuckers let's go you know you go out with that sort of pull of proof energy yeah regardless of what you know yeah I know you just go you go with the crowd please run that one yeah I learned that on the opian a thing one you don't go out with your fucking other shit Think about this yeah
Starting point is 00:36:26 Fuck is a half baked idea. I mean so not to these fucking drunk people see how that goes Yeah, it was a fucking crazy show. I remember after I got off I was in the back stairway just sitting on the stairs and people were walking by pointing at me and Dane and Al del Beni they're like they're like, we're gonna go get the car, we'll meet you out in front of the garden. So I was waiting for them to go get the car. Oh, yeah, you guys had to immediately leave. And I went out front, and I'm sitting out front,
Starting point is 00:36:54 wait, it was cold out too, and 10 minutes, 15 minutes. Obviously, 20 minutes, I'm like, fuck, I had to go to a pay phone. That's what they had no cell phones. I call fucking Al, I go, he answers the phone, I go, where fuck, I had to go to a pay phone. That's what they had no cell phones. I call fucking out. I go, he answers the phone. I go, where are you?
Starting point is 00:37:08 What are you doing? What? He goes, dude, we forgot. They forgot all about me. They just went back to Arlington. What? They left me there. How could they forget about you?
Starting point is 00:37:19 I had to call my uncle Sean. My uncle Sean, who was there. I guess it was so shells, dude. They were kids. They were like 20, 21 years old and just got booed by 15,000 people after they thought that they were gonna make it become big stars. Yo, dude, we thought this was it.
Starting point is 00:37:32 We thought this was it. This is actually, this is the funny part. We thought it was it, but it was actually the end. It was literally the end, huh? Was that when the group ended? No, the group ended when Dan got a spry commercial. But listen, the thing is, it's all took. Tadah, that's another game. It was But listen, the thing is. So it took.
Starting point is 00:37:45 Dude, I got another gig. I was a thin tanner. Yeah, we all met at, what was it, Hojo's. Guys, we have a gig on the 30th. I have a show on the 30th. Yeah, but we have a group gig on the 30th. Yeah, well, I gotta get, well, it's 500 bucks. He goes, mine pays 600.
Starting point is 00:38:03 All right, well, I guess you have a gig. Wow. Yeah, you can't put it before. That was it right there. And then we got Donnie Bizarro. There's remember Donnie Bizarro. I loved it. He was funny. Yeah, he was funny. He fucking crazy kid. Where's Donnie? What happened to him? Don't know. I think I think drugs. Oh, no. I don't know, but he might be fine now. That was years ago. He kind of left. drugs. Oh, no. I don't know, but he might be fine now. That was years ago.
Starting point is 00:38:24 He kind of left. He was like a good friend of mine. Aldo Benny is in Australia. Doing comedy? Doing comedy. His wife is from Australia. Oh, okay. Family out there.
Starting point is 00:38:35 And he was in, ah, you fucker. He's gonna shock. Doing my foot. Did you get a nice shooter? Did you ever get one of those? Of course, I get them all the time. What is that? Bill, I get shooters.
Starting point is 00:38:44 What's a shooter? A fucking pain through your ankle I get them all the time. What is that? Bill, I get shooters. What's a shooter? A fucking pain through your ankle like you just got. What is that? Might be cancer, it's a sign of cancer. Kid, come on, dude. No, it's nothing. It's a cramp. It's a fucking, you know.
Starting point is 00:38:58 Yeah, Aldo Benny moved out there. He had two kids here. I love how concerned you were. And then he just talked to Joe and he talked you right off the ledge. That's nothing. Nothing. Well, if he doesn't get that. It's just a shooting electrical pain.
Starting point is 00:39:10 Well, he's such a, you know, physical specimen over there. If it's Joe's telling you it's nothing. I don't think I look bad. What? What did you say? Um, I know what you're doing, Joe. You're going to take it seriously.
Starting point is 00:39:22 So I look like a bully here. I'm not doing it. Uh, you're a bully, Bill. Who we kidding so I look like a bully here. I'm not doing it Uh, you're a bully bill who we kidding here your bull. I'm not a bully You can't ask for a hug You can't call somebody a bully who just said I don't want to do that. Yeah, what's that you can't call him a But he goes dude. I don't want to do that because he can do whatever he wants Brave You can't call him, but he goes, dude, I don't want to do that because he's gonna do whatever he wants. And it is so brave of me. I want you to respect my- Please respect my gender, please. And we don't need a white male thing, another white male sort of-
Starting point is 00:39:52 I'm a minority, please respect that. What are you? You minority Italian. Yesterday with the- I feel like- Versi- Versi- You're Italian. Today, what are you?
Starting point is 00:40:01 Yeah. You call him Joey Isis. Yeah. It's called I do what I need to do to get clicks I was for last night. I was Italian. We were drinking fucking free grappa in an Italian restaurant What is about it's a great liquor from Italy about to go see the Irishman. Yeah, was so funny, dude We're talking to the door man at the hotel where the screening was yeah screening was. Yeah. And we were, we got there really early, because we thought it was going to fill up. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:28 And we go, listen, man, we're, we got here real early. We're the first people here. We're starving. We want to go next door and get some food. Can you please hold our place in line? And the guy goes, you know what? Anybody shows up? Our go.
Starting point is 00:40:40 Are you guys, I'll tell him you were here. There's somebody ahead of you. We go, dude, thank you. And I go, and we start to walk walk and I go, you know what? Matter of fact, and as I'm saying this, Versi's already got his wallet out. Hey, I'm the guy in 20. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:51 And then I try to give him a second 20. I go, no, no, no, no, 20. Thank you. And he took care of us. And then we turned to go to the restaurant. I turned to Versi. I go, this night is already off to an Italian star. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:01 Yeah. Yeah. And then we went in. We had two glasses of Vino fucking lamp chops in Ville. Oh shit. The guy gave us a complimentary shot of grappa. Why? What do you mean why? He slipped on the 20. Really? Oh, the guy at the restaurant. Oh yeah. When you tip people and you treat them right, you may as a big tipper. I'm a huge tipper. I tip when I go to kind of funny me that you
Starting point is 00:41:23 didn't understand. I thought it was I thought it was I thought you Cuz he was leaving the no cuz I thought you said get me a drink. I didn't know what you said What you said I thought you said get me a drink. Hey, give give give us a drink I thought you said get me a drink spider. I listen no I thought he said the guy at the door got him you went to another restaurant We went next door to an Italian restaurant. Yeah, I got you. Buddy, I got you. By the way, we need to go to, it's one of the best Italian
Starting point is 00:41:48 restaurants I've ever been to. We had the three of us, you go. I'll get the fuck out. Yeah, it's gonna fun. Go to the hotel. I tip the hotel. We gotta be more. How much you tip in hotels?
Starting point is 00:41:58 Where? You tip in the hotel? Yeah, but like what part of the hotel? I tip when I check in, I give the person behind the desk at 20. How much you tip? 20 bucks at the front? I do 21 And now you don't you can't do that's an insult That's an insult one dollar actually is an insult
Starting point is 00:42:13 I watched was watching the prices right this morning when I was getting ready to go Which is another thing great thing about be a comedian and There's every show there's the fucking fat over excited chick who bids one dollar and just automatically thinks she's gonna win. So my favorite moment in the show, what do I win? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I can't go here once. You dumb bitch, it wasn't $1. I don't know what. Because they always think like they cracked the code. $1. And they turn around the crowd. Ah!
Starting point is 00:42:50 Did you see that precious right documentary? I don't know what it is, but I know it's less than what you guys said. Did you see the precious right? I don't know about you breaking down the whole, all the years I've watched the show. Oh watch the show Oh, I agree and true carry is my favorite. Oh other reason like you know a Bob Barker would always do that thing Where if you've worked doing something dumb yeah, he'd be like now wait a minute Bob Let's let's think about what what we're doing here He would drag him into that this fucking guy spun the wheel one time and he got like like 80 cents He's like what do you want to do? He goes, I'm going to spin it again.
Starting point is 00:43:26 He wants to spin again on a fucking 70 or 80. Now Bob Barker would have been like, no wait a minute, let's see what we're doing here. I don't know, and everybody will laugh. He would go, okay, I'm not going to go. He just goes, all right, get it, get it, get it, get it, like fucking six dollars. And he goes, that is, he went over and just sent him off.
Starting point is 00:43:42 And I'm just sitting there like, how many shows are they taping today? You can really hear this guy's town car running in the background All right, get the fuck out of you who's next? Not say he's bad. I don't want to shit on the guy But I just I was in Cleveland when I saw that I was crying laughing. Yeah, the guy honestly got like a dollar sixty I've never seen a number that high spitting the fucking wheel. I did see that documentary. Where the guy does the price. Yeah, documents. Yeah, fucking incredible.
Starting point is 00:44:07 Great. No, it doesn't look too good in that documentary. Why? Why do you talk about? Why does he look like that? They told him that this guy was cheating. No, no, no, that's not the part that makes him look bad. Yes, it is.
Starting point is 00:44:18 Well, the part that makes him look bad is that he came in after Barker and did an overhaul the entire fucking crew And then and then he felt like they were trying to get revenge because they fired this like 40 year producer And I was like, you know, dude, I get bringing people and maybe you show little show little respect. That's not his call Never They don't know what the fuck I'm just saying it didn't look great. That's all what are you gonna do keep Bob Barker's girls around? No Just walk in they don't know what the fuck No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, want to keep me on and that's why it always happens. It's like when you get the new header than network, they got a fucking kill off all the shows that were maybe gonna do. I'm saying it doesn't happen. I'm saying it comes to an end. I was sexy. I thought
Starting point is 00:45:11 you were eight seasons. So you were shitting on him for doing it. I feel like he was in a position where he could have said, let's keep this guy around. Joe, you're making a lot of assumptions here. You know what I mean? Well, that's the way it looks in the documentary. That's the, I'll put it down when you were, when you, which so maybe I'm right, I'll take that. Maybe I'm right, maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. What do I do? What do I do?
Starting point is 00:45:30 I'm just gonna watch a movie. Joe, when you assume you make an ass out of you and me. Is that where Clark Kent glasses? Is it my glasses? Have to wear f**k glasses now. That is, I created a show. Yeah. And it's in its ninth season. That is, I just did a set in the East Village with a newspaper on the store
Starting point is 00:45:49 You know, I don't have a newspaper who's a newspaper pointing to it people This is the problem. Did you watch that clip? I said You want this is why we're at You want this is why we're at yeah, you're all in here folks. I'm all in here. You open your eyes. You can see it. You're facing like letty Bruce. Yeah, you're ready.
Starting point is 00:46:08 You ready. You ready. Sorry, there's no jokes people. Maybe it's not fucking funny. Yeah. And then did you just did you watch that rip Taylor clip? I tried to watch it and it wouldn't play and then I forgot to go back to it. What what happens in the clip?
Starting point is 00:46:21 Oh, it's just it's David Letterman live in Vegas. And he brings Rip Taylor. He walks in from the crowd. He's throwing all the confetti. He has like this canary yellow sh** jacket on. Oh, that coming in. He's got the sticks. You just got a seat in the end. What are you? I'm bringing up right now. He's gonna bring it up right here. Showbiz folks. Which one? Which one? The first one? Second one. The letterman one. Right there. That's it, right? Yeah. Go with the shortest one to just get to it. Um, there you go. I'm not the very end where the building is very end. No, he's going to the beginning because he just brings him right up. There you go. Right. Take the go back when he announces a Michael right there. I clicked that thing. Let him in looks great here. Look at that.
Starting point is 00:47:17 Is that a chicken suit or a fur coat? I'm really asking. really asking. People are all in their 70s now. I can't believe he was only 82 when he died, 84. But he was way older. Can you imagine the fucking union workers looking at this act. The fucking bag is still got confetti spilling out of it. How much fucking confetti was in that thing? Oh, I got money for gambling. How much fucking confetti was in that thing? I Was it to pay checks is to pay? Well, you got the job. Hello. I got money for gambling had you that damn joke too
Starting point is 00:48:09 You think this coach a little bit me Like the barachi threw up on the damn thing anyway good evening. Oh, boy I just had my damn toodstide this evening. Oh, no. Yeah. I didn't know this is what this is before Oh, but dog and heat falls in love with your shin that'll wake you up Oh He has to save every joke I love this They keep saying Jesus Christ and keep beeping it you can say Jesus but not Christ. I'm using his shampoo head and smolders. Jesus Look at the timing how he pulls that glove off
Starting point is 00:49:15 Folks, I don't dance this is it you see But on the Morgan toe tag yourselves, jeez. You're the one who's strange. You're the one who's strange. I know a sput. Look at this. Panty hose. Panty hose. 14 bucks for that piece of crap too. Get nervous, I got a tinkle.
Starting point is 00:49:44 It's just fucking saddles. I Just it's saddles. Oh Is that a shit stained I know that joke it's burnt burnt now Kid marks Chicken Spring and spring chicken. What? Spring chicken. Folks, I heard Ors. What's the name of Oral Roberts almost died? The check-bound. I fucked up a joke, you hear it?
Starting point is 00:50:10 What's that mean? Oral, I don't get that. Wasn't he one of those evangelist guys? Oh, I thought he was a good death. That's the sauce. Oh my god, this is getting bad. You should open with that one. Oh, I thought he was a good death. That's my idiot. Oh my god, this is getting bad. You should open with that one.
Starting point is 00:50:28 It's getting a pause break. I know what you're saying. I know what you're saying. I know what you're saying. Just lay it here, I'll down these in the hall. She'll hear it, miss. My man, can I miss? What does he say?
Starting point is 00:50:36 I noticed a rink. My mother and I died left me $12,000 to get a restillum. She would have loved this. My mother and law. they committed to it back then, didn't they? Yeah. Oh, they really did. He's got a lot of broad bits. Oh, my God. Yeah, because he's wearing them.
Starting point is 00:50:59 Listen, what he says in the end, that's my favorite thing. More confetti. Thank you very much. You're very busy man. It's been a lot of your time writing old material. Thank you very much. Yeah, I'm in a candle with a toy. Thank you very much. What's new? What's going on? It's still a baby's landing city at Harris Bay. At 10 weeks with Carol Lawrence. What's up again?
Starting point is 00:51:32 Uh, gendered Jews. She might not belong to beach. And I got mixed rugs, tailor-made. I've just took a lot of things. Really? Actually, wigs are your selling? Didn't you know that the man's bold is? Yeah, I did.
Starting point is 00:51:41 I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. Carol Lawrence and again, uh, gendam jude, shippie light opera long beach and I got nips rugs, tail of made. I just took a lot of things. Really? Actually wigs your selling? Didn't you know that the man's bold?
Starting point is 00:51:49 Hey, no, I would never you first lady you take it off. Oh, my god. This is what's more excessive. Show business. Show business. Holy shit. Dude, he used that I got money to gamble he three times three times
Starting point is 00:52:10 Yeah, and he tags every joke with Jesus Christ. They got to keep beeping it out Yeah, cuz he's nervous for some reason they have Jesus. I wasn't nervous dude He's done that a million times. You don't think he was bombing. You don't think he was going Jesus Christ He was some of those jokes. His joke is, the whole thing is that he's bombing. Really? And it's all about the saves. Oh, right. Yeah, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:52:30 Carson had that funny story about the comic that always bombed and had, but like really would bomb and it's saver lines build in after every joke because he was so used to bombing. And he goes, then one night we saw him finally kill, but he was still doing the saver lines because it was just part of it. And he's going and slither like an applause break and he's going, what is this? A fucking oil painting?
Starting point is 00:52:48 That's fucked up. Yeah, it's great. God damn it, man. That was God. That was so fun back then. Yeah. It looked real. Nothing. It's not fun now, but that really looks like.
Starting point is 00:53:05 Yeah, but if I wound up doing that, you guys give me a lot of shit. That was my act. Thank you about. Hello. Well, now if I were you breaking down the way he do, he, some of them he would say it and they'd say it higher afterward. You would every be a, that's a booby trap. Booby trap.
Starting point is 00:53:19 It's a second, that's a second. Like, nobody laughs into booby trap. Bad joke when he, when he does that stupid high-pitch. Yeah, oh that little laugh He did yeah, yeah, it's just like what the fuck am I watching you just watching a spectacle most part of his wig wobbling too I know he's still like lifted up and shit. Didn't they have the little wands used to shoot out sparkles like little sticks Fetty one yeah fetty wands out he would throw Did he invent those no right no, who's Chinese people? Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincindia aventuras te esperan.
Starting point is 00:54:03 ¡Fliparás! Vuelas desde Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. Um, you know, it's funny, I wanted to talk about this, Burry, your specials out. I want to make sure people know about it. I'm sure everybody does. I mean, dude, fucking, oh, it was. Chapers, Chapers. Paper tiger. One of the best visual
Starting point is 00:54:31 specials I've ever seen. Mike binder. Visually. And, uh, I mean, you're fucking annihilated from the front to the back. Yo, DeRosa. He wrote it all. I wrote it. I coached it. Fucking great. I sat billed down about six months ago. I said, do you want to do a special? You want to stop fucking around me? Tell you though, he just know I'm ready to do it for real. You get in business with me. I'm gonna need you like dough. You got a shit lightning crap from the bill. Ever the rehearsal spell you'd start a bit again. Yeah, you mean the back. Don't dance. Yeah. We came out after she pales two weeks after she pales.
Starting point is 00:55:13 Okay, she pales blew up bang. A lot of career, you know, all the stuff that controversy with the two weeks after probably about 40 specials the way they put them out now. Well, two weeks after one special that anybody gave a fuck about and your special came out, I just want to, well, you nervous about that, but you give a fuck about when it was coming out, even though it was like two weeks ago, usually they wait a little. That's, that's what you got to do now. You put out a special, you've done nothing wrong.
Starting point is 00:55:36 You went up and did your job and then I was like, is this, you know, is it my turn for this silliness to happen, but a fortune fortunate wasn't, but I don't know. My vibe is different. I think that, I don't know, my, my special was mostly about me being an idiot in my temper and how I don't want to pass that on my kid was, was what it was mainly about. But so it was all about you. I mean, I watched the special, dude. It was fucking personal. And then I mean, they watched your special, dude. It was fucking personal.
Starting point is 00:56:05 And then, I mean, they came out with a lot of good specials, man. Can I just say Gary Gomes? It was fucking great. I don't know each be out. It was different. It was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, maybe 80% standup, 20% dock or maybe I have 75%, 25% but they actually pulled it off the, the amount of dock that they showed they would cut back to and the dock part was funny and it was
Starting point is 00:56:30 emotional what it needed to be. I saw I didn't know that it was that I just I saw a clip of it made me laugh. It's yeah but you know it's Gary doing his jokes but it's all I mean you look that one of the thing about Gary special is that did you say the what the wonderful thing? No the one thing oh okay I'll say the wonderful thing don't I say the what the wonderful thing? No the one thing. Oh, okay. I'll say the wonderful thing Don't I want to say the wonderful thing about Gary special softening up in your old age. I am you getting tender I'm getting a little soft. I saw Joe the other night and he was spellbounding But I can't say fucking wonderful. I like that you said it. No, he didn't because you set me up to say it again Listen to me. I'm fucking I like it. I'm wearing headphones. You're like a tough piece of veal
Starting point is 00:57:11 What the fuck is it? It's pounded you tender Fuck out of here Fuck sake. What are you talking about? I like it. I am tender. I'm a little more tender than I used to be That's what I'm saying. You're getting tender the older you get. I cried at the movies with Max and he put his hands over my eyes. He goes, Dad, don't watch the rest of this movie. It was the movie Wonder Wheel. I think it is the Woody Allen movie. Now the cartoon, the animation, I think it is, but it's fucking sad as shit and the first this is fucked up cartoons or animations used to be about love stories and hopes and dreams in the first 10 minutes
Starting point is 00:57:52 the mom gets cancer and has to go away. They've always been like that. Has to go away. They've always What the fuck? Happy birthday, Bobby! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Hey dear, Bobby! Happy birthday to you! You fucking cow! Yay! Oh my god, this is the greatest podcast ever. A lot of surprises today.
Starting point is 00:58:30 Joe's a pizza pie. Oh my god. Oh my god. Look at Quinnies over there. That's my pizza. I'll know. We'll have it in a little while. Quinn. We'll have it in a little while. I'm kidding with him. That's why. No, I'm kidding. Open it up. Open it up. Yes. Yes. Yes, yeah, yeah, she did a beautiful card. Oh my god those cookies and nuts Mike you want pepperoni what this is crazy when I supposed to be eating the studio is
Starting point is 00:59:17 All right, I won't fucking tell Is I Shia Oh, I think he said derosa Because he goes I got a Joe and it stinks. I thought you said to road and he watching live We are still broadcasting Colin Quinn and Liz came up brought Joe's pizza for my birthday and cookies You see what Billy gave me? Look at Billy gave me.
Starting point is 00:59:49 He gave me like a top of the line pedal for my drum kit. He's gonna be doing his own rim shots. Oh, here you go, buddy. Thank you. Oh, this is Joe's pizza, the best pizza in the world. It's the best, yeah, it's the best. I knew you'd take some super listen fillies better. No, I don't. Yes you do. No, I don't. Pits it in the world Yeah Philly is better No, I don't yes you do no I don't call in and there's no need for that kind of approach
Starting point is 01:00:10 Yeah, sit right that call sit down at the mic We're all friends in here. We're just talking about how I've lighten up in the years I'm not as much of a fucking piece of shit, right Joe? Yes Say it right right Mike right Joe everybody say what a good guy Bobby is. It's his bird. Right, Mike? Right, Joe? Everybody say what? Look good guy Bobby is. What are you taking? Two fucking slices?
Starting point is 01:00:29 You don't even know I'm kidding Joe. I'm kidding Joe. Take two of you at the top. I'm just kidding. The what? Uh. You're just an asshole. Joe goes.
Starting point is 01:00:39 There's no need. I can't. I can't. I'm a pro. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. No need like Podcast in it pizza We're gonna do a reboot the reboot the rea pizza Colin Quinn is here
Starting point is 01:01:27 Worse thing ever to hear somebody eating on the microphone is it bad bad? It's bad. Like, you know, the worst thing is sucking a candy. Give us a suck a, like a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, movie that you thought it's not Wonder Wheel. One animated movie. Wonder World animation. The question. Joe's Pizza's Nuts. Animated movie where mom gets, yeah right there. Wonder Park, sorry. Okay. Wonder Park, right? The mom gets cancer.
Starting point is 01:01:42 First 10 minutes, I'm with Max. We get up popcorn, we're sitting down. The open up, I mean the mom gets cancer first 10 minutes I'm with Max we get up popcorn was sitting down the open up I mean the mom the kids creating all this stuff with the mom. It's the greatest family the kid the mom the mom And then all of a sudden the mom gets sick and She's got to go away to cancer therapy and The kid has no mom so this big one one-depark that they're building, she stops doing, because her mom's gonna fucking die.
Starting point is 01:02:09 She's with the dad, she stops having fun. And I'm fucking crying my eyes out. Are you about to cry now? And then Max, Bob, don't ever watch Bambi. This is way fucking worse than Bambi. Why, because it's a mom. The mom's gonna die
Starting point is 01:02:26 The mom does die wait just now does the mom die. Yeah, but that's I'm gonna get him to pull this cry out And what happens Bob take me through Like calls calls just looking at me very concerned just we're gonna eat pizza and not talk Well, we're talking he's gonna get most likes. This is the mom die. No, the mom doesn't die, but it's sad when she comes back, do I cry again at the end and you match. I didn't make you feel like what did it remind you of in your own life?
Starting point is 01:02:55 It might. It made me it made me sad because you think about your wife. I mean, go off a bit. Something happens to my wife. I think about life. If she trying to open a theme park I think she's gonna be all right Because of Don Gaffa did I Choked up or you just have too much pizza. I got too much pizza my mouth
Starting point is 01:03:21 What's the same joke? I Watched why what do you you don't cry when you watch movies? I watch you definitely I watched up with my parents I'll tell you to crack it up Dude at the beginning when the wife dies Yeah, I walked in the other I just what I've done with my parents on several occasions I did a grumpy old man to you cried at grumpy old men. Yeah, dude It's heartbreaking when when lemons in the hospital at the end and they hate each other whole movie
Starting point is 01:03:46 and then Math Out goes into visit lemon, because he's like, fuck, this is serious, and they go, are you family or friend? And he doesn't know what to say, and then he goes, friend, and he starts crying, it's brutal. But I do this when I went with my folks. I get up and I pretend I gotta get water and I go in the kitchen and cry quietly.
Starting point is 01:04:02 And then I walk back back because I'm embarrassed. Climb just thinking you watching Gupi Omen too with your parents. It was Gupi Omen one. Two never entered the picture. Which was one Kevin Pollock was he's in both of them. He's in both of them. He'll tell you.
Starting point is 01:04:23 I don't know. I call it looks like Jack lemon I Cry I cried I can't help but it just comes out I felt I felt bad But you know cuz Max was Max wasn't crying. He was covered. No, it's brutal. Yeah, I have it always makes me cry What she's got to have it. Just always makes it. You don't burn those cry movies, do you? Huh? Do I cry movies?
Starting point is 01:04:49 No. Burk cries at ruined games. Right after that fucking game, seven. Yeah. No, you know what happens? It gets real sad and then my wife starts crying and then I laugh at her and then she punches me. That's what happens. This function. Are you doing just to choose off the pizza?
Starting point is 01:05:09 Yeah. Don't want Bobby's cool. Bobby's cool. Are you fucking eating just to choose off the pizza? Are you eating in a comedy show with talks? What you say? What the fuck you were talking about? Well, maybe we do need to get Guy Brandon back up here. What the fuck you were talking about? Maybe we do need to get Guy Brandham back up here. How you eating it?
Starting point is 01:05:26 Like a bit. I'm on a keto diet and I can only eat meat and cheese. Don't have fucking pizza then. Have some regular cheese. Just wasted a slice. That's Joe's pizza. Oh, that's why you got upset when I said you were much so you're on a diet.
Starting point is 01:05:38 I'm sorry. You look great, Joe. I'll fuck off, Burr. Oh, the black is real slimming. It's slimming. You look good The is that part of the keto diet huh? You have a bottle of fucking rum you can Yeah, eat the fucking pizza you have to bread. I can't have it. I can't have it. What'd you have yesterday?
Starting point is 01:05:56 Foster Brooks. Hey, it's a fat diet. You can have bread It's a bad fish. We all know what the goddamn diet is but Same as fucking I can't. You could do real stuff. Same as fucking. I can't. God damn caveman. Everything else. Oh my.
Starting point is 01:06:10 Keto, they just changed the name. You were a Europe t-shirt of the band Europe. No, it's probably Alice Cooper. No, it's actually Cooper. Is that the worst? Is that the Connors? Is that a, I thought it was, this is the Connors? It is the worst one.
Starting point is 01:06:21 It is the other shirts. It's at New York Dolls. I was like, yeah, I get this. New York Dolls. I walk in. Boss. and it's other shirts. It said New York dolls. I was like, yeah, I Got a cool I walk in Boss I have the same shirts Yeah, the boss got too much in common you can't go shirt like those mall rock shirts Boss dummy like Vosal find them. I don't know. He's never heard the band. You know what I mean? Boss at Vos was at the concert when they saw the original shirt. Wow, it was way too much.
Starting point is 01:06:46 Wow. I tried to get it out twice, but you talked over it. You fucked me on that one, Deroza. You had headphones on you, I feel a little attacked and unsafe right now. Why? Because you know, we didn't give you a birthday laugh on that one.
Starting point is 01:07:00 What the fuck? That pisses me off. That makes me fucking pissed. Good. I'm glad it's about me. It's about time I found out I get under your skin. I'm going to do this every night at the club. What, order pizza and fucking eat the cheese off the top? Yeah. Let's stop.
Starting point is 01:07:22 What, you family? I got to go meet Anthony. Oh, early, then you get get you drink more out of the bottle Yeah, well, you know, you guys are me the same spot when you show up listen You guys tried pizza now Oh, I just dude it. Push. Just pizza. Come on, treat the pap.
Starting point is 01:07:46 My favorite thing to do up there is watch Mike pull up a video and then the back and forth between Bobby and him and where to start the video. Bob, here we go. Now, we don't need to watch the whole fucking thing. So he goes to the metal and he goes, dude, back it up. Take it to the beginning. Mike started there with a fucking pad. Dude, back it up, take it to the beginning. That's what I'm talking about. Mike's already there. Mike's already there.
Starting point is 01:08:07 You're the one who yelled at him. I didn't yell at him. I didn't. He went to the end. You went not to the end. Well, because you did that, not me. You're the... You're the...
Starting point is 01:08:17 My defense. Well, you said that was fucking stupid when you did that. It's in you too. You're the same guy, Deroza. You're the little stupid when he did that. Yeah, you're going on the whole thing. Literally, it was the last 10 seconds of Riftailer saying good night. I'm honored to be here with all
Starting point is 01:08:31 three creators of cheat. Thank you. That's true. Oh, wow. Way back. I still have that. We haven't all been together since that. Yeah, we have. In the same room. Not not talking together. And I was in it. No, we have in the same room not not talking together No, we have it Yeah, so it was boss boss was in the two boss the annoying dormant. Yeah, you you were the you were the delivery guy He's keep Rachel fine. So I said her voices and no Keith was in it. We we had good actors. Yeah But we all said had no blacks policy
Starting point is 01:09:06 We want to get us to try back a film festival. Yeah You know what time you run this festival don't don't put any black Jesus Christ. Yo, maybe need a little dough. Yeah, have a little crabby That's fucking sacrilegious that you want to eat that pisses me off. You shouldn't have taken it then just that you won't eat that pisses me off you shouldn't have taken it then What is the difference if I ate the bread or not? What I ate it. It's these were my slices Well, there's all these people here that's gonna eat the piece these were my slices and I did what I wanted to do with my Because it's a Joe's slice. It's not just a regular slice Okay, if I went fucking somewhere to a steakhouse of duck and like Al Pacino and
Starting point is 01:09:46 sent of a woman, if I went to a steakhouse, I drafted these slices at 4 dicks. Yeah, you're crazy. Listen, somebody shows up with rage, you eat the fucking slice. By the way, I did Irishmen. No, don't fucking say where I'm not gonna say anything, but it was fucking amazing. That's it. That's it. That's all I'm gonna say. Yeah, just like the Joker Yeah, that's too fucking long though. I haven't seen I could not you just say that I wouldn't feel Trust me because I was worried about that it felt I just I never once was like this long, but the guys a liar I read his book He couldn't possibly done that should out of it to be honest. talking to my the writer talked about that oh did he I'm a pro
Starting point is 01:10:35 can you see him really went in like it was a test about it. It was me All right, buddy, I love you Are you running your new hour? Thank you, calling your new hour. What's this one about the history of hats? What do you cover? It's not dope. The history of hats. Oh my god. You know, folks, automobiles are funny. Shit, that was good.
Starting point is 01:11:21 I love you. You want to do a spot? You want to do a spot? I'm supposed to meet someone for dinner. What time? 8. 8 o'clock. Where?
Starting point is 01:11:29 I don't know. We're gonna wrap this up. Hey, what's that? Seven. All right, I'll stop over. Is that a scarf? All right. This isn't a podcast anymore.
Starting point is 01:11:40 This is people listening to people eat. Yeah, well, now it was pretty funny. It was pretty funny. They was pretty funny they came up. We got a couple of zingers in there. They're fine. Yeah, this is a special event, dude. You know, you're in town. We haven't been together.
Starting point is 01:11:55 All three of us in the same room since then. How does that make you feel, Bob? I mean, you feel good. I mean, I missed you guys. I want you to start. I'm like, I miss you, I'm like, I'm so I'm like a miss you've lung and so bad. It is nice being in the room together. It is. We being listened. We like when the police got back together.
Starting point is 01:12:16 Who's the drummer? You're the drummer, right? Are you a singer? You're the drummer? Who am I? Yeah, obviously burst. You would be here the other two going, when are you going to do? You want to do you want to get a new singer? I'm my kids. I'm my kids in soccer. My kids in soccer right now I'm gonna go see some of his games this summer. You know, I feel like I got from Warren's available You want to see if he wants to run around with a tree? You know what? I just I just I took course back riding classes I think we're gonna bad wrapping this. Uh-oh. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha I just do your voice. What do you mean? It's a shame that we know the hell. Right? So why we're not in the same room together? It's fair enough, Shane.
Starting point is 01:13:09 Not to shame, we never, we, it's not. He's right, when you're right, it's a shame. Yes. We never did another thing. I felt like we could have made another cool little flick. But, what was the show that we, you made a great, fuck, that film was funny.
Starting point is 01:13:24 Yeah, film was great. And given that we almost murdered each other doing it and came out the other side friends. That only happened really afterwards when they try to turn it into a TV show. Yeah. Oh, it's an old show business tale. I'm Bushy tailed. You know, it's funny. It's never changed. I'm going through that right now with something else. Same fucking shit. Shame for, hey, wanna do this? Yeah, let's do that. And again, and he, oh, let's fucking do this.
Starting point is 01:13:49 Yeah. Everybody fucking, yeah, let's watch out there. Just terrible. Hey, I tell you what, remember the pitch meeting we went with Joe got sick. Yeah. And me and Burr, we had to go in without him, but he was on the phone to sell it.
Starting point is 01:14:02 Yeah, I did be on speaker phone for the pitch. Remember? But yeah, they're great. Have they scones or cookies? Is your daughter in town? Is your family town? Is your family with you? Oh, you want to take some of that? Take that? Where your kid? What's that? I'm pressing. I'm at my wife here. It's depressing to come back to the door. I'm just nobody here. That's a more depressing crap.
Starting point is 01:14:26 Oh, okay. Okay. Oh, yeah, boy, Jay, bye, bye, bye. We went into the room, but I remember we had. You just saw me sitting on a car bench by myself eating his prongs all over my face, just crying under the trolley. I come over, I go, where'd you get the cookies?
Starting point is 01:14:39 I'm gonna fuck it. I go get, I get a fucking gallon of milk and I'd fucking help you through it Stop eating the cheese in front of me It's really gross. It's fucking disguise like a rat Like a little rat Yeah, let me get that chocolate chip on on the talk No, but we went into the room. I remember we're at the airport
Starting point is 01:15:01 I'm just fucking finished, isn't it? No, but we went into the room, I remember we're at the airport, the bar. Oh my god, it's just the lessons. We're at the airport, you don't wanna talk about it? We're at, we're at, we're at the airport. That looks so good. Joe, we're at the airport and you fucking,
Starting point is 01:15:14 you look at me and go, I don't, I don't feel good man. And you started to shiver in line. Yeah, remember that? And I was a kid. Before that, you picked me up in a camp, we took a camp together. Yeah, remember that and I was a key before that you picked me up in a camp We took a cab together. Yeah, it was when we lived next story to each other. Yeah, yeah You rang my bell like five am five am Because we believe really early. Yeah, yeah, and I went downstairs and I go bro
Starting point is 01:15:45 Good something's wrong. I got the flu. I don't think I can go You're like dude, you got to go I was like you got to go and I got on the plane and we and then remember halfway through the flight I was I got real sick in the bathroom. Yeah, the flight attending I'm up the Flight attendant glasses falling that fucking toilet. Dude, it was brutal. The flight attendant, this is how sick I was, because you know they'd never do this.
Starting point is 01:16:10 The flight attendant goes, come with me. She took me to first class. Oh yeah. That reclining seat, because she's like, dude, you're in really bad shape. Like, I feel bad. You're like, no, this is just how I look. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:22 I was like, hey, lady, leave my body out of it. With me to the first place. Then we got to the hotel. We got to the hotel. And you were done. I look yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah lady leave my body out of it with me First place then we got to the hotel we got to the hotel and you are done Supposed to share room and then you split yeah got your own room and then you kept bringing me gatorade And you were just like I can't touch anything, but I'm gonna bring you gatorade Yeah, I should have fucking in an hindsight stayed home because I ended up just doing it on the phone anyway I know but I'm here the last night. I was there, I hooked up with a chick. Ugh, while you were sick.
Starting point is 01:16:49 I finally felt good enough to go out and I went to- But you still had it. I told her that. And she still went with you? I was like, listen, I'm really sick. Like, I don't know if you want to hook up. And she goes, I don't care. And we totally fucking-
Starting point is 01:17:00 And that didn't tell- You didn't go, I should care that you don't fucking care. No. That doesn't bother you didn't go I should care that you don't fucking care now That doesn't bother you. What do I care? Wow, what do I care? I shouldn't care life's about taking chances Bobby And you look at a maverick over here. Yeah suck that whole thing down You know, I'm gonna say that that's bad the ones you didn't bang Yeah
Starting point is 01:17:25 Life I'm bang it's the name. I'll be with my tell-all at the end. The ones I didn't bang. Something. Some other. Now, I thought you would think that was funny. Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? He's eating a championship cookie. I'm gonna do a live-in. I'm gonna do a live-in.
Starting point is 01:17:36 Well, professionally the second all this shit came in. I apologize. Yeah, that's all right. Don't worry, we're gonna wrap it up. We did a nice hour of fuckin' funny stuff. It's good to see you, too, man. But I'm glad you're in town. And it's such a good time, it was over his house in LA.
Starting point is 01:17:49 What a fucking beautiful place. Smoke and stoves. Smoke and sticks. Smoke and bats. Deroza is back in New York. I would love to hang out with both of you guys on the West Coast. Why, why are we hanging out here?
Starting point is 01:18:03 We're the East Coast. Well, I'm basically living here, but I stole my place out there. Yeah. Is it a solo place? Yeah, yeah, I keep two places. I got under way over here. I got shirts over there.
Starting point is 01:18:13 I got two places, you know. I got my record collection in LA where it deserves to be. Yeah, yeah. And I got my video games collection in New York without the ZZ. Oh, my videos are on LA. Oh, is it really? So what are you doing here at your house?
Starting point is 01:18:25 You have quite the collection. I follow you on Instagram. You do have quite the collection. And every time you go, I found these gems, it's always at least six of them. Yeah, I've been watching games again. Well, I got 36 systems. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 01:18:39 The games I don't know, but I've 36 systems. And then, you know, you have 10 games for each five games for you play all the on which it depends on what you're doing you play all them all the systems yeah, yeah How old are you time or another but I mean you know part of you 42 Go ahead nope. Yeah, no, there's a mean thing. I can see it and you're rotten eyes I can't mean thing rolling around there's not a mean thing. I can see it in your rotten eyes. You see this stuff. There's a mean thing rolling around. There's not a mean thing.
Starting point is 01:19:07 I just said, how old you were? You said 42, I went, huh? What? Dude, I got a wife and kid. You got 36 videos. There you go. There it is. There it is.
Starting point is 01:19:17 You are so obvious. Oh, wow, that bothered you. That bothered you that he had all the systems? No, I don't play, I haven't played Xbox. You were in six years. You would since Max don't play I haven't played I haven't played Xbox you in six years You would since Max was born. I haven't played one fucking video game except his little thing Let's talk about how much you would stink at a poker table. I I really am bad at poker You go no, I don't got nothing. I get nervous too. I'm gonna put 15 pounds today
Starting point is 01:19:43 I'm terrible at poker you got today. I'm terrible at poker face. Terrible at poker. I would say the time, Dane had a on the tour, got us a private poker table, we all played poker together, and he won and kept all the money. Well, that's what happens when you lose. We're all like,
Starting point is 01:20:00 I think, yeah, that's all the money we have. Yeah, that's yeah. Is it any way you could maybe slip me a, slip me a 20 back. He really did teach me a hot lesson Yeah, those are blasts Come here don't ever use all by yourself. I can't stop now that it's in there Whenever he's all by yourself. I can't stop now that it's in there Taking those wait Quick before we sign off. Is that a scone or a cookie to cookie? dumb dumb fuck you diet looks like a scope. I'm over here and have a pebble fucking taste
Starting point is 01:20:34 They'll have it. I come over there and slap the fucking taste Let's see Joe's glasses go flying across the room. Joe immediately apologizing, backing up out of the room. I'm sorry, dude. I'm sorry, dude. I was just respecting me. It's the deal, man. Not in the face. I got an audition anymore.
Starting point is 01:20:56 Do you? No. But that's what actors just did. I used to be Joe when I was younger. I was an angry a man. It had a very toxic relationship. Yeah, we all did. That's the famous story about Peter, um, who's the,
Starting point is 01:21:08 old tool? Yeah. Getting into the bar fight with the other actor when he was in his 30s. Yeah. And they were, and they were, and they were like, fuck you, fucking, they were, they were squared off. They go, all right, not in the face. I have an addition tomorrow. And they were both like, okay, I get it. I'm an actor too. Uh-huh. And the day it is, fucking did body blows. Supposedly, who knows? Me and Donald fight and then she grabbed my hand. She twisted my finger.
Starting point is 01:21:30 And that's my my can. And she called me a pussy. She walked out of the road. She should have. I know that's my my can, relax. She was pussy. She walked out of the room. She twisted it to that point.
Starting point is 01:21:43 She twisted my, well, I pointed it at her. I want to listen to you and she grabbed it. You did more than that. She twisted it to that point. She twisted my fat. Well, I went I pointed it at her I want to listen you when she grabbed it. You did more than that. Yeah, right there you go and you know what? I You didn't want that Yeah, I was gonna say you don't like a pointing of a finger so I don't see you know, is it because you're too long Created your double pointer We went to San Francisco And came back to Seattle
Starting point is 01:22:04 And these guys yeah, you're like, you're a guy and a guy and a fucking Jetson. I did. And we threw it up and we fled. It goes the same way. Yeah. I can't stop. I started in Boston. So I moved to New York. This guy takes me out to LA. I love. Is that restaurant really the best one you've ever been to? Go. Is that restaurant really the best one you've ever been to? I mean, fuck. That's a classic.
Starting point is 01:22:32 That's it. That's it. We care fucking, dude. You fucking, you go in, you fucking get sausage. You're flipping. You're flipping. You're smacking up. Creep kids.com.
Starting point is 01:22:43 Torstats in two weeks, Reading, Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh. I know everybody at B&H, first name basis. Uh-huh. Of course we have. You can't always whip it under the conveyor belt. Paper tiger right now on Netflix, one of the best specials I've ever seen. I need a puke.
Starting point is 01:22:59 Unfuckin' believable. You got to check it out. And we got Joe DeRosa is at the stand. They're on fuck off. we got Joe to Rosa is at the stand now fuck off where I am at the stand but no I got actually shit this week at Saturday one time I only Pekipsey laugh it up one great club yeah love the club that's it yeah I got right guys mother fuckers seven not straight you know so Bill burn I'm bringing uninformed back very soon that's great great. Thank God. I love that show He's bitching about the camera though. Can you please? We don't have a fucking date listen It comes on it for when we let you know it's coming. I'm talking to Andrew. We're working out the video shit
Starting point is 01:23:35 It's coming but we're it's coming back on a form is coming back in Well, it's time to go Don't don't go good night. Sweet hot. Well, it's time to go You guys all knew that I was gonna bomb. I was he guys next time to leave you But we know next to Bill Murray is like a it's a fun like you know podcast. No, no with the label out The way your podcast about him Bobby come on. That's all right. He's the one of the rich You are on this podcast. He's the original. Me and him did it together. Oh, God.
Starting point is 01:24:07 I'll pick that that blow up. We have, we have to do the episode where we had the big blowout that we never aired. Remember the one I never aired? We were going to sit down and go over it. I did a big blowout on you. Uninformed. We never aired. We should do that.
Starting point is 01:24:20 I broke my headphones. What is that? What is that? What is the common denominator in both these pod test stories? Kick me out of your house. It was me and Ted Alexandra. You should be on the Wall Street you were not What you should be on the Kanto diet? Cuz you're a
Starting point is 01:24:40 I guess you guys take a walk I guess you guys take a walk. Oh, man. What the fuck is that? We sit down. Come on. Come on, Joe. I turn the bottle outside. That's what abusers say.
Starting point is 01:24:51 Baby, I love you. Come on, Joe. We're going to change. Maybe it'll be different this time. I'm different. I don't do that. I got a wife and kid now. It's die-criot movies.
Starting point is 01:25:02 Oh, listen, I told you. You know, you've tendered up and I enjoy it about you. Yeah, listen, I told you, you know, you've tendered up and I enjoyed about you. Yeah, listen, yes, we were at my house. Ted Alexander was on and you snapped at Ted. Well, he snapped at me too. He didn't really snap. No, no, be fair.
Starting point is 01:25:14 He, that's be fair. It didn't snap at you. Ted was talking and that was, Ted was joking, you felt this way. I made the mistake of criticizing Occupy Wall Street for getting the Ted at hand cut themselves to a gate two days. Oh, God.
Starting point is 01:25:28 Yeah. And it got a little heat. And then I said something and then he came at me. I want you to talk to you about that too. He was all he hated that Occupy Wall Street. He argued with all his friends. He hated. He hated it.
Starting point is 01:25:39 You hated those people. I was I found a lot of hypocrisy in it. That's all. There was a Ted to hip, a crate. I'm just saying. I'm starting to back hypocrisy in it. That's all. I'm not lying. I'm saying Ted to hip a crate. I'm just saying, I'm sorry. You started it back up again, Joe, you know? Now, we get Ted on the line.
Starting point is 01:25:50 I, while Joey, I want to do that with you. Me and you go over that podcast. Please do. We'll play it, me and you, and, uh, yeah, we'll, we'll go over it and see who, you know what? I might have some apologizing to do. Who knows? Maybe you have a little apologizing to do.
Starting point is 01:26:05 I never said I didn't. I didn't say, I was, I wasn't saying it was you. Just joking, I'm joking. I'm just joking. I'm just joking. I swear to God, I'm just joking. The, uh, no, yeah, I feel like when we both listen to a little, we're gonna be like,
Starting point is 01:26:16 what will we do? Why did we get to that? We get to know another fight that would be, I mean, I'm really risking it. I'm risking it. You're risking that. Anyways, uh, Pekipsi, laugh it up this Friday night. No, no, this Saturday night.
Starting point is 01:26:28 This Saturday night. 7 p.m. show, that's it. One show only. You know, I get to love that. You take the train. Just the soap is open for me. Take the train right up here. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:26:36 And as you get off the train, it's right there. Sober is going to drive us, which is nice. All right, whatever. I mean, the train is better. That kind of train to convince them, let's just take the train. Train is so much better. Sit down, right, read a book.
Starting point is 01:26:48 With all the flabby. Flip it. Flip it up. Flip it up. Flip it back. Flip it back. Take your bags. They put it in the bottom.
Starting point is 01:26:57 Flip it. Wopted Pikitzi. You're comfortable. Go flip the bow. Smack it up, flip it, rub it down. Oh, dude. Patreon.com slash Robert Kelly go there right now the life of the Me and Burr is up there now
Starting point is 01:27:18 Mike Caldice coming out soon. I just put a special extra clip Just put a special extra clip. You'll like the boxcar. You'll like the wind. Burr. Kotlin's jerking off. It's up there now. Robert Kelly, patreon.com says Robert Kelly. Beats the kids.com.
Starting point is 01:27:31 I do. They massage your feet. Subscribe review. Subscribe review. Check it, check it, check it, check it. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do You have a take to the M. Trac up to Pekipsi subscribe you know When they stop and change engines I go fly fishing and connect it Yeah, you have been flying guys get that the funniest guys
Starting point is 01:27:55 You know where my rubber pants right in the Trayden Yeah Yeah See you guys next week You know what dude See you guys next week. You know what did?

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