Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Heavy FM

Episode Date: July 4, 2013

Robert is joined by Mike Lawrence, Sam Morril, Dan Soder, Joe List and Kelly Fastuca. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un dominaje de Maú, a Madrid. You're listening to Robert Kelly's, you know what? in all your devices. Plus, don't forget to watch the new episode. Bobby Kelly is back live. I had to baby dude, now it's time to get some type of money dude.

He keeps shitting dude! Check out Bobby Kelly live July 5th and 6th at the Helium Comedy Club in Buffalo, New York. Then Atlantic City, the Rebel Resort on July 11th and then July 22nd and 23rd, the legendary just for last festival in Montreal, Canada, as well as a very special YKW dude live. July 25th in Montreal. If you have yet to see Robert Kelly live, you do not know what you're missing. He brings the house down every night to get your tickets and information,

go to robberkillylive.com. All right, check it out. Here is the intro for Heavy FM. We got Mike Lawrence, we got Sam Rao, we got Joe, List, Kelly Fistilko, and Dan South, our kid. And we got fucking Raub, Rotem, and Turning in the background, floating with Dan in the whole show.

So, this was Sam, Sam was the kid who got caught up in that, all that fucking crazy, the rape joke, and the, Sam was, you know, the kid who got caught up in that, all that fucking crazy, you know, the rape joke and the chick who blogged about it and blah, blah, blah, and then it just went nuts. But we, we want to talk about it. It was pretty interesting. I'm exhausted, you know, I don't even know what the fuck. I know it was a, it was a good show. We switched over halfway through to a comic book talk and Superman and, and, and,

the Superman movie and, you know, Mike Lawrence is a huge fan of all that stuff. I don't know, we, you know, we went up switching topics and it was a good little flow, man. I'm exhausted, I'm fucking tired of him and slept since the kid was born, but I thoroughly enjoyed today's episode. I hope you do too. It's a bunch of guys that you know, and a couple guys that you're meeting for the first time on the show, Sam, and Mike, it's the second time

on the show, but I love having these guys on. It's very, you know, a unique lineup. Interesting perspective that each one of them brings to the conversation. So that's about it. You got 70 questions or you have any, if you love the show, if you love what's going on, please retweet it. Or email us at ykwd at riotcast.com and the YKWD podcast on Twitter.

And follow us on Facebook and Twitter. Make sure you do that. And spread the word. You guys great. We appreciate everything you do for the show. That's why we do this for free every week. For you guys and your truck and your cube, your desk, home, wherever the fuck you are. We hope you enjoy the show. And thanks for the donations. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm out of here. You guys are great. Take care. Hey gang, this is Colin Quinn.

This is Jim Norton. This is Dennis Liri. This is Opie from a lot of things. This is Bert Chrysler. Staying cooking, you are listening to Robert Kelly's. You know what, dude? You know what, dude? I know what, dude! If you bippy, bippy, bby, bippy, bby, bby, bby, dippy, dippy, dby, dby, dby, dby, dby, dby, dby, dby, dby, you know what, dude? You know what, dude? I know what, dude!

If he bippy by, if he bippy boo, dippy dippy, dhya, yabba dhabba doo. Dude! This is Robert Kelly's, you know what, dude? You know what I mean? Let me hear you baby girl. Okay, can you hear me? Sam, what, Sam. Yes. Let me hear you, baby, do you grow? OK. Can you hear me? Where are you?

Sam, what do you have for breakfast? I had Kashi with some lactate milk. Let's see what a great sound test that is, Mommy. I don't know how you haven't picked the apple. I don't hear him. Why don't I hear him? The sad thing is I respect you more for not saying Kashi go lean. I hate when people have to say the full title.

You know what I was talking about. I know. I'm aware, yeah. You have the Kashi series, Kashi go lean. You have a very, you have a very, soft voice. Thank you. I had to turn you way up. I appreciate it. Yeah. Kelly, well, I'm tuning everybody. Won't you introduce everybody so I can tune them up? No problems. So we've got Sam, Sam Raul. Hey Kelly. Sam, how are you mate? I'm great. Have women complimented you on your voice before? Yes. It's 60 as far. Lucky I know you as a human

being. So it doesn't do anything for me. Well, that is usually which slows it down. I hate that buzzer that it pulls it loads us so much. And then we've got Michael Lawrence. Yeah. We really were going to talk about the Silver Surfer and I was looking forward to it. I didn't even know what the Silver Surfer is. He first appeared in Fantastic Four Number 48, 1966. Well, I love guys that can do that. Yeah.

They can just go in Fantastic Four. And when the world came to an end, Ark came into the... Yeah, issues 48 through 50, the Galactus saga. That's correct. Do you know I held the Thor hammer at Marvel? Oh, that's awesome. And I did be owner. Yes. I did the I'm JOLN IR. I'm proud of that. I did I got a tour and actually I did a video blog that goes inside of the you know the Marvel app. Yeah. And they they'll have in the middle of a comic book now,

a little thing will come up and people will pop up and say shit about, like, I did want about Iron Man. That's awesome. Yeah, it was pretty, I mean, you, a guy like you, should have been on the tour, not really me, because I'm not, I'm not, you know, I'm sitting. I didn't interview with him a couple weeks ago, it was cool. Yeah, they're really cool up there.

It's just a bunch of, here's the thing, it's a bunch of fucking nerds. Yeah. And it's a regular weeks ago is cool. Yeah, they're really cool up there. It's just a bunch of, here's the thing. It's a bunch of fucking nerds. Yeah. And it's a regular office. Oh, yeah. But they have themed office meeting rooms. One is Thor, one's Iron Man. I got the Hulk Captain America.

I got to go into the Iron Man. No, I got to go into the Hulk and Thor. I wanted to go on Iron Man, but they had a meeting going on. I was fucking bullshit But they took me into each room and they there's like three to four guys in a room one guy does this this guy does it and then they get The ink from this guy and then they put the it's fucking nuts one goes east. He like goes west. So what? And that's Jolest Jolest is back by popular demand demand popular demand, isn't it? It's well my Twitter feed blows up every week that I'm not on

Every week that I am on too, but that's more calling me a faggot. I Figured that's what Robert would do in the app. Why are you reigning Iron Man your faggot? He's just closing and do something with your life Well I don't think Marvel would be happy with that. They just judge you. Yeah, I think they would go, no, can you try that again? We don't want to put faggot inside of the app. For keeping score, that's four faggots.

And we should start counting how much we say faggot, too. Considering the first openly gay character was a French Canadian mutant, they were already pretty homophobic. Who is that? Who is that character? openly gay character was a French Canadian mutant. They were already pretty homophobic. Who is that? Who is that character? North Star in 1992. He picks an AIDS baby out of a dumpster

and then comes out at the end of the issue. It's the worst. It's an awful superhero version. The Jim Norton story. Yeah. That's he's openly gay. Yeah. And he's, well, he's french canadian i mean

he is powers get stronger somebody doesn't want to go to the just for last festival they just fight the evil green monster with the junos what's the name again? what's the gays gay characters name again oh north star and his sister aurora and when they hold hands They get more powerful that being a great name for gay club. Yeah North Star

We got Dan Soda just walked in the room and Rowe Thames nipples just popped out of her shirt We got Kelly for Stooky here too, who I adore. Yay. Everybody adores. You can dye your hair. Is your hair darker? He's a little bit darker, yes.

All right. It looks very smooth, your hair. Yeah, I had time to straighten it today. I don't look like a piece of waiting shit. I'm just a good at recognizing girls' hair changes. That's one of my things. Because you're a fag. Right that down.

That's number five. So I know how to get five. I like that paying attention to women makes you a I look at all day and I noticed their changes queer. Yeah, that is queer Then why were you sad that you weren't invited on the show? Well, it took Joe to tell me I felt like first of all me. I felt like a- First of all, Dan, I- You got a friend, didn't mean. First of all, you were out of town. That's what I heard.

Second of all, you just, how many times I tell you that you own one of those guys, listen to me fuckface. Before you humble out on me. I've told you many times, dude, if you're in town if you come back in the town You're supposed to be out of town and you're like dude. I'd like to be on that show Just come by okay call me up cuz I'm your fucking friend you are and go dude What are you a sulker? You're gonna so if I didn't tell Kelly tell him to come to we can stay home and just Resent me now. I was gonna stay outside Kelly tell him to come to we can stay home and just resent me. No, I was gonna stay outside

That's a different song it's actually Peter Gabriel I think actually you still get to call people fagging after that I like not laughing after your stuff You laugh I like not laughing after you stuff because you laugh you Me, it was kind of good cuz he's really selling it to me. I like not laughing I want to. Fuckin' Joe, just hard-fought. You're gonna be in friends, Bobby. Can I get your phone number? Finally? You have my phone number.

I know, I was doing a bit. Speaking of wanting to laugh, I was question. I was playing along with the bit, fuck, face. That's a fuck, why do you get to do the bit? You yes, no, to me. I did, you as well. You supposed to yes and me. No, you can't get my phone number and suck my dick.

And then I'm like, I will suck your dick and eat your pussy. And then you know, I'll lick your pussy and suck his dick. Yay! All right, well, Dan, are you pussy inside his Dead I Well, Danny you cool with that great with that I just you know it's all the issues I doubt issues. You see the no poster. No, I didn't this great artist that I had

His name is Howard Porter who's a fan of the show Comment book I have a computer from Justice League look at that that's fantastic He made that for us He's one of the best common notice of the 90s. I just y'all I yeah, I just he's fucking amazing That's fantastic. What a great guy. Oh, this is awesome, and that's the color one I had posters made. I want to personally thank him for draw. I look fucking I got 10 you look fantastic I had a very more chin than you I do not even kind of have if you saw the if you saw the first one first of all you are an innit Joe makes more sense

I don't have you known him man he's so fucking huge I've known him for a little there's on on the internet on a Facebook we we chatted and then um he made he made my tech talk logo yeah which is awesome which is not that one It's the one that's underneath the table He's just great and then I asked him I said, you know I'm doing this show at Foxwoods. I would love a you know what dude and I'm going I'm bringing you know What dude up to Montreal to do a special one up there and I would love a poster of you know the core guys on it and of a poster of, you know, the core guys on it. And, you know, I wanted it to be cool. And he, I said, do you think, man,

and he did it and that's... He put the characteristics of everyone put. Well, the first one, can I just... There's Vainey hands. Can I be honest with you? The first one he did, I had him change, because Dan Soda looked fucking amazing. Ah! Ah! Damn it. I actually have a prequel, Jay Leno.

You know what, Dan? I just got my first car. It really does look like Jay Leno. I like how Mike Lawrence, you were looking at the poster, like you were looking at Diamonds, like with one eye and going, I'm trying to see if he draws Dan the same way he drew Mr. Fantastic and the author of Action Storyline.

Same with you. I see you. It even looks like a hazee to the diamond district. Is this peel off here? Oh wow. And he drew Joe. The Joe that he drew the first one looked like just what Hitler would draw if he was drawing a Jew.

I also like the derosa's head is like there's just a what hitle would draw if he was drawing a Jew I also like the derosa's head is like there's just a fifth of his face in the poster well you know he drew it was drosa drosa first which i love that it's kind of symbolic is drosa is the main joe yeah you know as far as this version of the you know what the podcast is you know he's kind of in there which i like well he also accurately had Lewis stepping all over everybody the first Lewis first Lewis looked like he was in Scarface 2 he just had a big black collar on like he had a black you know satin knife fever suit on yeah and he was ball and he looks sexy and he was just kind of looking down

yeah I was like I Lewis has to be punching something. Yeah, I go Dan I go fuck you because he goes well, that's the way I see Dan And then literally looks like your tail like he's coming out of your ass He does he I do look like a power bottom in this Well, just wiggling my bottom waiting for punishment like it's that scene from alien, but if he popped out of his ass Come and get it Lewis Jay. Well, you got you got you get They you should have seen I had actually had to make me fatter Because he made me look like I would look if I tried if I

Sexy Bobby can we help him with this Push it in I'm sure you're we're all aware because every time it falls out we hear it it's fucking what do you think it's just visual where we hear it that's awesome I think that's great it's great and I'll show you the first one here's the first one pass that down look how great Dan looks. I wanna see Six a Day. I was like, fuck you, it's not happening. Oh, it's so blue. I wanna see Six a Day.

Hold on, I wanna see Joe. Oh my God. Joe, just showed a rose. Oh, man, I look good. I'm not gonna lose Louis. You look fucking great. So, here you go. Yeah, I was like, that's not happening.

It's not. And it looks like you have a glass eye. I have one eye is open way too much It looks like I have what is that called monocle yeah, you do have like but it my brains are fired today How did I get monocle I should I should I should have mumbled that out. Oh my soda is gorgeous He is he drew you That's what this is. This is you if you quit drinking like two years earlier. Yeah, unbelievable. Or if I never drank. Or if you just stuck with Sam's first joke. I like this first one, but if you want to redo it with you guys. I have never been this tired in my

Fucking existence. Why is that Bobby? I look good this fucking kid shit. Is that what they call it? Well, it's really produces They first of all everybody who has a kid is a piece of shit is a fucking hunk of garbage Everybody who has a kid is a piece of shit. Is a fucking hunk of garbage. Everybody who I talked to before I had a kid is a fucking hunk of poo, because they all lied. No one ever said it's every two hours. Ooh, 24 hours a day. It's every two hours.

These gotta be changed, the or tickle the fed or fucking food what are you doing the two hours in between them when you're not doing any of those things life shouldn't it be like every five minute I think you're just gonna say ship then you added in tickled and fed and changed feels like it should be more than every two hours it Oh, it sleeps a lot, baby, sleep a lot. No, every two hours something has to happen with the baby. Every two, three hours. Now, but here's the thing, inefficient.

What's inefficient about every two hours? I feel like it would be more like every 10 minutes, no? No, no, Joe, no. So what does he do? He sits there? Yeah, that's what they do, Joe. You know, watch him? You got a joke about this man, the brus joke You even leave a baby they lay in the crib

He doesn't write from the heart I just feel like you should be watching your baby more than you are well. I am watching right there She's like it's left unattended quite a bit. Do you do the monitor now? He's like a I might the monitor. Do you do the monitor now? The monitor I have, no, actually bought me, is, you know me. I went out and put it on the baby registry. It's the highest tech monitor. You can fucking, I can from here talk to Don in the room and play the lullaby, change lullabies,

change the fucking lighting. It sends me an alarm anytime the baby moves, it has movement alarm and sound alarm, and it goes to my phone. and lighting, it sends me an alarm anytime the baby moves, it has movement alarm and sound alarm, and it goes to my phone. So at night I have my iPad, it goes on my iPad, my iPhone, her iPad, her iPhone, and at night I just have my iPad on.

So I don't have to get up and look over her, I can just open my eyes and look at my monitor. That's fucking 10 inches away from my face, and I can just, it has night vision too, by the way. Nathan, TV what you are. I was just a good thing to say. One of my favorite tweets Nate had is a picture of his monitor and it says we've been discovered and it's his daughter just looking in the camera grabbing at the lens. That's funny. That's hilarious.

That's funny. Yeah, this monitor is crazy. So here it is. It's every few hours now. And I mean, he's getting better, but. And there's no, like my responsibility in my life up until three weeks ago has been, are you gonna get up and write that thing

and you gotta go down to a spot. But at any point I can wake up and go, man fuck it. I mean literally anything I want, I gotta have fucking. The only thing I couldn't do is show like, you know, road shows when I'm on the road. I have to be there and do these two shows tonight, but it's literally two hours, three hours at tops and you're fucking done. But I can sleep all day. I can sleep all fucking day. For years I've been all day, I could sleep all fucking day. For years, I've been able to take a nap whenever I wanted to. Those days are going. For years,

I could why I my my perfect moment is when the delivery I comes, I have an episode of of a longmire or something of that, queued up and I open up the food I got the chips ready the drink and the food and then it's cute up to pass the fucking credits And I hit play and I take that first bite and I just eat my food And then I watch my show and it's on record so I can fast forward to commercials. Oh my god done done You could still do that, but you would create Lewis Jacob Why does he do that? No, but I'm just saying if you left your baby on the

Stabbed yeah I just realized that Lewis is a father because he's still going out drinking with me What not like late, but you'll have a few drinks. Don't stick up from now. He's a piece of show. Not like late, it's fucking nuts. It's nuts. It's fucking nuts.

I'm exhausted. And this is the thing too, is like dawn last night, which is supposed to switch off. Like I go and then she goes and then I go. So he wakes up, you know, the first things that like 12 feeding change, change the shit, the other, the first of all the other day, I can't take him downstairs, he took a shit.

So okay, I'm changing his diaper, it's some baby shit. Then he starts fucking drooling, like just spitting up formula, right? And then he starts pissing in me. Like it, and it's a beam, it's a beam, that has so much arc, so much power in his fucking piss. It goes, it's like a laser that can go three to five feet and now I'm covering it and then he just,

his asshole just pukes and it's a shoot shit right out of his ass and I start open. And what do you think he's trying to tell you, Bobby? I don't know, I don't fucking know, Dan. What do you think he's trying to tell you Bobby? I don't know, I don't fucking know Dan, what do you think he's trying to tell you? And he is multi-talented. But it's amazing having a kid, right? Here's the thing though, my wife comes down and starts laughing so hard, she pisses her pins.

So now there's just, if buddy around me is pissed. Where you got a piss? Shit, and puke. Wow. So stand by me. Yeah, if we run a fucking... Oh, like you just ignored Lord's question, yeah. What was it?

That's amazing having a kid though, right? There's a lot of great feelings and stuff. Okay, here's a deal. I'll be honest with everybody. You want me to be honest with you? Yeah, yeah. Be real. You, of course, now yes, I love my child.

My wife loves the child. We love the baby. That's a child. But I think the connection happens more and more each day because he changes. Now, when the kid looks back at me and smiles at something I say or is happy to see me, is when I think the real, as far as,

I know there's a lot of bonding going on that I don't know about, that isn't, it's not, I don't feel it, I don't get the accolades of the love from him. Yet, but when that happens, it's gonna be a fucking overwhelming day when my kid misses me. Oh, when I look down at my kid's chilling with my wife and looking at her and loving her back.

Right now, he's just kinda fucking like a little alien. He's just staring up and his eyes sometimes cross. You think he's looking at you and then one eye just fucking fades off. But that's kind of how old people are right before they die, so you don't miss them, you know. Like. It's kind of true.

You just disconnect from them. So it's like, it's just shh. Puking out of a task hole and forgetting. I'm like, my grandma was a vegetable right before she did. I know. It is. It's like it's almost like they're doing it for you. No, you know, we made a whole fruit. We're doing it.

By the time my grandma was dead, we were all so fucking happy. It's just like, fucking hell. It's weird that you say that as they, you know, they pro long their fucking lives. That my grandfather was almost 101, but he had a shit together until the last month. Thank you, you could still walk in the hospital, he's like, what's, what are you doing? And then towards the end, it was sad to see my grandfather,

but it was a very short time that you saw him fucked up. Thank God, it was like the last week he was like, oh shit, what the fuck was that? Like he was almost tender. Like, hi. Like my grandfather's never been that. But yeah, I would love to go like my grandfather. Like just one week of fucked upness.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't wanna be that dude in a chair. Just having some cousin wipe and drool off my face. Stealing my stuff. I don't like them. They're stealing from me. And nurses hit me. They're nurses.

They watch me while I poo. I saw him fuck Mrs. McGreevy while I was sleeping. I told him not to. They kicked my grandma out of the assisted living place because she was just giving random handies to like this. Oh. She was 80s. Michael, I want to stop you right here.

I just fell in love with you. Yeah. You understand that? Yeah. You are now one of my favorite people on the planet. Yeah. Thanks. That you would reveal that you would honor us with what a fucking tramp.

You're a grimp. Why? Did she know what she was doing? Did she need money? What? Did she know what she was doing? Did she need money? Did she want extra pudding? She was making it up pudding yourself. But now, so she was like, she was 86 and in the assisted section, it was like Romeo and Juliet,

she would go over to the unassisted section and just, because they're shit together and you know the the the Haitian you know monsters just threw her out and you call Haitian well those specific ones the guys you're working there yeah yeah the watch dealers yeah yeah they what a lot of the common watch though he's still watching yeah're the worst... People who work in those places are usually the worst fucking people. Is that fucking why is that? Because... What the fuck?

Well, if it's uncomfortable for you to like see your grandma for a couple hours when she's dying. Imagine having to be there all the time and work with them and, you know, probably... You think that's what those fucking heartfelt, hippie- hippie hippie girls as they say on duck dynasty Hi, hi hippie girls. They all become pediatricians though They don't they don't get into the assisted right they want to make money and be helpful to people yeah, yeah Yeah, they don't want to just help people. There's a reward in helping kids. There's no reward in letting someone go Right now, so as you gr it was jerking dudes off. Yeah.

Like two completion. Yeah. Wow, what a trip. I mean, how did these guys- That's more impressive about the guy. That's a hell of a hand job though. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's like old school talents.

That's Vaudeville work. Just come on, sailor. Come on. Look at how much those hands had to grip on the one penny in the impression Only for a nickel you can see back in my day. We use teeth now I just want to check myself out to completion Remember there was a moment my grandma had such a fucking panic attack because the Oklahoma City bombings happened and they preempted the Price is right and she was wondering why it wasn't on and

like calling us and freaking out. She's like, I'm on CBS. Where's Bob? That's funny. I usually give my hand jobs during the meal. I can't get into jerking mood unless I watch Kaplunk. It's Plinko, but yeah. I mean, I go gesture with your wrist. Oh, there's Kaplunk. Yeah, I think there's Kaplunk. I mean, I don't know. just with your wrist. Oh, there's crumplunk. Yeah, there's I think there's I mean I gotta know now somebody's got a Google complaint I thought that was just I know it was a goofy name. What's um Sam yeah Everybody I'm kidding. I'm kidding don't answer that question. I don't even want to talk about it

Yeah, I mean I tell you this man, Sam, we talked about it before. Right, right. I don't want to talk about it. Yeah, I think that, um, talking about his eyebrows right now. Yeah, I don't want to talk about your eyebrows. That's pretty wild. I'm not a tonic. I'm not a tonic.

I'm a tonic. Tony Muskego used to have this comic from Boston. He goes, he goes, uh, yeah, yeah, I, uh, have these... as i browse and sometimes i grow mustache just so i can look like an equal sign looks like i have an art large equal sign of my career is thank you and then he gets card and the guy goes what you've been doing it's bar you belong in a math equation uh...

i never said it was the best show but i did like it uh... yeah fuck it dude dude. I mean, whatever. You didn't even go through anything. Yeah, she just got me a bunch of new Facebook friends, basically. Is it really? Yeah. I got every once in a while.

I got a message from someone, like, two weeks ago from someone who's a minister and just told me, like, what a disgusting person I am. She didn't even watch the jokes, but she just, like, I just read your jokes. A female minister? I like that your controversy gave someone else a TV credit I know what also also what and then she and then she just went She's like I don't want my daughter to grow up in this world Wow and then I just wrote back how old is your daughter and can I see a picture of her and

And she wrote back me and my husband both laughed out loud at that and I was like yeah Well then you can't fucking pick and choose what offend you if I just made a joke about fucking your daughter yeah but maybe they didn't know as if maybe they didn't think it was a fucking your daughter joke what a sweet boy also the first one must have been sarcastic to that what no no she was absolutely a long message seemed like you don't have to respond I'm out of like it was a long message it like you don't have to respond. I'm not a, like it was a long message, it was pretty sincere.

Wow. What? Well, that wasn't a girl that was on the show with no one, right? No, no, no, no. She, uh, I think she was just blocking people. That's the funny thing is you see what animals your Facebook friends are on the comments, you know? People were just writing like, like, I just wrote my thing

and then people were like commenting, uh, like that kind of, like that's not what I'm saying at all. Yeah, that's... But that's how that should always start though, is that like you'll say something, you know, thoughtful or just about it and then someone will end up be like, what a bunch of dick bags because comics get two defensive times. So the reason I took so long to respond, I took a few days, I was like, I want to take all my emotion out of it. I don't want it to be emotional.

And you don't know how to spell that good. That's true. A lot of spell checks. Spell that well you don't know how to spell that good. That's true. A lot of spell check spell that well Well, apparently I just exposed myself And my own fears. You're not homeschooling right? Is a new manager say shut up Kelly. No, I'm kidding Is that the show's catchphrase? Sometimes.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Hey, May. Why do that feel so good? What are you looking for? Do you want to find it? No. What am I looking for?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm looking for internet. I had this really cool lit off from a girl. Huh? The fuck are you finishing my sentence for? It's not what I'm talking about. Tell you about that. What I tell you about that. What I tell you about that?

What I tell you about that? So don't I just went on a trip together and we spent so much time together. We were sort of finishing each other. So just, we're, classic and we are friends.

I saw you little videos. Classic. The vines were good. Shot your face. I like the vine where you shoot the French fry and your girls mouth Oh, that's my favorite one. I said Bobby would like it after we shot it. Oh, thanks buddy Let's get this to go viral what's viral hundred 200 followers. No, uh thousand oh Yeah, I get so cynical about vine be like this peaked in four seconds

We're just filler yeah I'd be like this peaked in four seconds, you know. The last two were just filler, yeah. I love Vine. Act two is decent. And he's really phoning it in that last second. I, um, yeah, I was very happy that, you know, I vined the baby thing. You know, I tried to do it as cool as possible

without being an asshole. And I was very happy that I was very respectful and very nice and it was all nice comments, except for like two dudes that I blocked. I didn't even think about it, I just blocked them but everybody was really nice. I was very impressed. What are the mean ones with, not least, you know, look. You don't give them an air con on them. Sam, it's like you don't quote your rape jokes, you know what I mean? You just ignore them and they go away. It really does feel great blocking people. I never did it until like within the last month.

You see, it gives a name, I'm just saying what they said. It really does feel great blocking people. I never did it until like within the last month It's fucking awesome. What they said. Yeah, well, if you give up say what they say then they're getting You know, try to get that behavior. It's like how it works. Sam cheeses. I don't know We're not gonna give them the notoriety that you're getting I do appreciate it. I do appreciate the note. There are enough controversial internet sensations Well, it bothered me that that's the one thing that did bug me is I'm looking on TV now and I see these people that shouldn't be on television. Now they have fan bases because of like you know somebody like you at your

expense. Yeah you made fans but this person made fans too. Yeah like I've I got a lot of emails about me circumcising my kid, not me, but I'm having a done. Do you have a dog? Yeah, and I got a lot of email. No, dude, look, and here's a deal. A lot of they were like you mutilated your fucking child, you're a piece of shit. Really? I mean, very, wow, I mean, just very venomous hateful scary like hate like those those crazy people hate uh... and there was very uh... ju-hating you know they you know

weird shit man that these people would take the time to put this email together first of all they had to they listened to something that i do so whether it's an o an fan or a YKWD fan They heard they would listen to my shit and they at they fucking send me these emails Which I didn't really take to heart because I'm like look you got a point Yeah, I fucking I don't know why we do why do you rip the skin off a dude a kid's dick? I don't know cuz it looks better. It does dick I don't know because it looks better it does I don't know

I'm a circus. I'm uncircumcised dicks when you get older look fucking weird gross They're really they're not talking about your kids dick. You know what I mean? That's not they taste better. They do Yeah, really locks in the flavor. Yeah over the years Kelly was trying to defend you like the uncircumcised I wouldn't I wouldn't circumcise my child Well, that's not what we're talking about. I was talking about what's... No, they're fine.

It doesn't, there's no difference. But I, to the birds, I got a lot, if I had written back to these people, first of all, I was like, look, you make a valid with all the cons and fat fucks and fuck yous. If you took all that out of it, you make a great point. If I didn't really, I didn't make the decision,

it's just kind of my culture, my religion. I don't, you make a, oh yeah, I mean, I don't give a fuck if the kid had a little snuff a lot for guess. I don't know, but would he hate me then? Yeah. Why would you give me this fuck? I don't know, but I did what I did, so go fuck yourself.

You know, like that's, go, what are you yelling at me for? Go, you didn't go to every religion that does fucked up shit. Yeah. And give him, what about Chinese people? They just throw away girl babies. I'm a pretty mild mannered guy, but you bring up dick skin and I fly off the fucking handle.

Here's my, here's my issue. What makes them think it's okay to talk to you about that? Yeah, what are you doing? What you do as an entertainer and comedian makes it okay for someone, and I know they're your fan and they support you about that. What part of what you do as an entertainer and comedian makes it okay for someone. And I know that they're your fan and they support you in whatever way they go. I don't think these people are.

Yeah. I think these people are, these are just fucking crazy people that look, I have my beliefs. I believe certain things too, but I would never, ever, fucking call somebody a piece of shit dumb cunt fucking vicious asshole because they don't believe in what the fuck I

believe in and I would know I mean it was anger violent anger but here's a part of why because you have an artistic outlet to express yourself and a lot of that that you know comedy that when you have a thought or feeling, you can go on a stage and express it and a lot of these people don't and that's their highlight. Even if I didn't hear some things, these people used to live in the shadows. They did. Yeah. They lived in the shadows.

They lived in the shadows of the thing. Yeah. Keep going. And now just cool. Keep going. And now that they can, Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da i'm too far away but now you can just touch me in a second when some go to my robber cally google even if you don't fucking know me google me comes up website every you get get into me every makes up of my phone number which i'm pretty sure you can get that too if you

enough of a fucking nerd in a psycho at the same direct tweet me i'll give it to and then uh... yet script but i got this thing this uh... this email from this girl. I'd like to read. It was on Facebook. A reading from Robert Kelly. And a letter from Facebook. A letter to the Corinthians. Dick Clippin Kelly.

One happened. I just dropped my prosperity cat. There goes all the money. I'm listening. Okay, here we go. Don't drop the computer. I'm not gonna Kelly You know me any help I'll go to here too. You know me. I'm gonna give my phone. All right Kelly Why don't you really really I mean really I mean really I thought I said to you before that didn't see she said it She did the cat fell for nothing. Oh fuck you dad. I've got no idea. I've got it

I just fucking look at man. Can I just say, you know, the wheels of the diet that I was on, the wheels of the truck that I was, the cart, the wheels of the diet cart fell off. Yeah, they're gone. I blame no for giving you that mac and cheese. Yeah, that's the night it started. They're gone. I've been shoveling everything into my face

for fucking three weeks. The wheels of the fat train have fallen off. You're like, I'm living for two. I gotta do something, man. I think my feet my feet So this tastes like Papa Jones Kelly yeah, your wheels your wheels are fucking a fucking wall. Call this one of those fucking, those hands. Things that you do. No, I can't, I'm too wobbly. Why can't your fans care about your health as much as your kid's dick, you know?

Yeah, it's true. Put the sandwich down. I just, I just want to love Amy's show where she did slap diet. I just slapped the food out of your face. A dude just comes up and smacks it out of your face. Yeah. All right, so you know what, this is a letter that we got from my friend, all right. So you know, this is a letter that we got I know Sam. This is a letter after all the shit went down

And I this this affected me this letter I thought it was pretty brave of this girl to email me this on Facebook and I asked her if I could read it on this show, okay, and I'm glad you're on the show I was gonna read it without you, but now that you're here, it's even better because I on the show. I was going to read it without you, but now that you're here, it's even better, because I think this is for you, actually. So, go ahead. I'm listening to this week's episode of Your Honest. Without the access. Big fan of the show, you guys are hilarious. No. And I applaud you on discussing the whole

rape joke controversy. I'm not a well-known comedian, so I know no one listens to my points, but I think it's a horrible, what that feminist blogger did to betray that comedian Sam as a dude who would fucking laugh if he saw a woman being raped Such bullshit. I am a female and I was have been violently raped and I was 15 years old It was a shitty fucking thing that happened. I went to therapy. I'm sure it's fucked me irreversibly on some and every level Hey, I'm a second Kelly do not quip during this Yeah, yeah, especially on the brutal rape part. Yeah, you've had fucking a year and a half to be funny on the show Don't do it now Like

I Mean Bobby looked right at each other when you did that Fuck is wrong with you Bobby looked right at each other when you did that you like Well, that sounds like a bad time Don't we don't need to add anything you know that is the massaging this country is the women on women verbal to be I'm on a side I'm on a side So as the prime audience Wow, what a great audience I don't know she's my prime audience

Wow, what a great audience. She's gonna get jokes. I don't know if she's my prime audience. I didn't get to see what he's gonna make me laugh. She has read the thing without fucking quip it. The prime audience that's supposed to be is so offended by rape jokes. I feel like rape jokes on the subject be little, the seriousness of the act.

Let me say that being an able to laugh at a comedian's rape joke was one of the most healing things regarding my own rape that's taken place. Here's why. When I laughed at the joke I wasn't a poor vulnerable female or a scared victim. I was a human being laughing at a joke. I had the power not the person who raped me. The power wasn't shifted to fear. It was fucking taken back to me via my laughing at a rape joke. Now I understand that it is in the case of everyone but from the beginning comedy has been about

talking about taking things one doesn't normally discuss and shining a humorous Now I understand that it is in the case of everyone, but from the beginning comedy has been about talking, about taking things one doesn't normally discuss and shining a humorous light on them. Example, rape, racism, which used to be uncomfortable. Now, anyone who can change the pitch of their voice or grammar of their words and will know whether or not they are going, sorry, are doing a little white girl character

or a black guy, I don't know what that means. The point is, it isn't a scary, untouchable, uncomfortable topping anymore. It's out in the open. I feel like that feminist attention whore pulled a huge pail plate to take something that wasn't meant to be harmful and twisted it into something evil,

some evil fucking thing that shit on that shit on that comedians reputation, which is way worse than any rape joke. I guess first and foremost people need to realize it is a joke. No one gets mad at actors when they betray a mass murder on the big screen because they are acting. When a comedian is on stage, they are joking and it is completely fine for people to think a rape joke or any joke for that matter isn't funny the same way you may not like an actor's role on an author's book but you don't attack comedians as a person you

just don't laugh at the joke. I hear plenty of shitty jokes and I don't laugh at them and it ends there. What the blogger did was extremely shitty to females too like old poor little girls can't take a rape joke shut the fuck up you dumb cunt. There have been jokes about boys getting raped from years ago you know that phrase don't drop the soap yeah did any dude ever get a fucking weepy about that and say it wasn't funny to make fun of men being raped in jail? No.

And it's not because they are heartless, advocates of rape, it's because they know it's a joke. As a female that has been raped, I say loosen the fuck up, keep the rape jokes coming. Yeah, I said that because I'm not a victim and I'm not a weepy little shit that can't take or make a joke. Thanks for healing me.

And if anyone ever read this this you guys are awesome. You know what you know what also it's kind of interesting coming from a straight from a victim here is like these bloggers speak on behalf of these victims and they don't want to be spoken on behalf. Well Sam I'm gonna be speaking on behalf of the bloggers on behalf of the victims. I'm gonna say I don't like your tone. Yes I'm trying to get in the standup myself with love any help. I can't get a guest set at Love Relive. Well, you're absolutely right is that these women are speaking for the rape area. Like

they're, were she a victim? I don't think so. I don't think so. I mean, I got a similar message from someone who is a sexual abuse victim and she said a very similar thing. And the crazy thing is the joke isn't technically a rape joke. It's a joke about political correctness. It wasn't, and the other joke is the ambient joke she didn't like. There were two jokes she didn't like. That joke's not really rape.

Well now, here's the deal though. Now you can go to a comedy club and if somebody says something that offend you, whatever it is, you can go home to your fucking little computer open up your white MacBook Pro and fucking blog about it but that's not that's not the problem I don't like I don't think I want I don't want to do that. I don't care. Yeah, absolutely do that. The problem I have is for Miss quoting jokes and misleading people who I am like like the problem I have is you're taking a very delicate joke I have a problem with that I have a problem with that because when you represent yourself as you're the authority or you're some type of news outlet or you're the person that represents

a certain group of people, I have a fucking problem with that. You're not you're just one person. Now you're trying you're trying to get fans and you're trying to get people to listen to you and she got me a bunch of new fans but you got her a bunch I don't know if I got her she got herself a lot by shit yeah but she up that's what I'm saying it's like you know what you go out there you you especially comedy or go attack movies too go attack yeah why is comedy because they're doing your guy you're, because they're doing a character. They're a guy, you're a fucking character.

They're doing a character in a movie. That's the difference. Yeah, but you, you, you, the movies have been attacked for years. I, I think that, I think that if comedy is art and it is, then it deserves to be criticized like any other art form. But, but you think they're the authority on funny, because everyone thinks they have a great sense of humor. But everyone thinks they're the authority on movies

or music. No, not the way, not the same with comedy. I've heard people say, I don they have a great sense of humor but it's not the same with comedy you know you i've heard people say i don't really have great taste of movies i've never heard someone say i don't have a good sense of humor i've never heard that once yet i have heard it about you quite a few no i'm talking about people saying about themselves i got the gen

i thought it was a thing. It wasn't a buzzing. But the other problems, and this is off the side, and a lot of things that have been talked about, I wish you didn't have to throw in that whore, because that makes it looks a better. Did I say that? Yeah, I did. You're making a good argument, and then she's like,

that fucking whore, and you're like, well, now you're taking away from your argument. Well, because, well, that's like the people that wrote me the thing, you fucking fat dumb cunt. If they took all that shit out of their letters i i actually you you you you you'd be forced to acknowledge you didn't need to go back on well you didn't need to do that to your son where find the way we are were meant to be that

way that's why well we would have evolved differently would have fell off or whatever it that's the you're actually mutilating your kids penis for a, no, let me finish this, for a religion, for that is made up that I don't even fucking believe in. So you make a valid point. First of all, you're a week too late with your dumb email.

Okay, so you're already too late. You should have hit me up two weeks ago when you found out I was having a fucking kid. Don't come to me after the fact and come to me with knowledge. Don't come to me with fucking abusive, anger rage, knowledge. You know, come to me and tell me what the fuck's going on. But do it beforehand and say,

look, man, don't do this. Really think about it. Here's the facts, blah, blah, blah. And then I might have not done it do this, really think about it. Here's the facts, blah, blah, blah. And then I might have not, I might have not had done it. I might have fucking posed an argument to my wife and say look, I don't think we should do this. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

But I didn't think about it. Because of ignorance, yes, I'll admit that too. But it's not that these people, you're right with that fuck you and dumb cunt, you gotta leave that, if you're trying to make a point to somebody you got to leave that behind but that's just the way we talk though i mean most people talk fuck you and you can't and stupid asshole but your point definitely sounds less intelligent if you say that yeah i know to you guys but if you're from Boston it's fucking it

more poignant kid especially if you're fucking got the hoppa with a new fucking i-pad kid but it's part of why we don't listen to each other and why we discredit each other's opinions. Right. It's, it mean look, I think that what this girl said, it can obstruct me is that, you know, it's the victim. I don't want to be a victim. I don't want to be living fear. If there's one thing in my life that I hate, it's fear.

Yeah. And I'm constantly battling it. I've been battling it since I was two, since I had an abusive stepfather. And now I have it all the time. I have it fear, all the career. I mean, my physical, you know, the food, trying to lose weight, my kid, my family, am I going to be a good father? Am I I gonna be a good husband? Is this all gonna fall apart like my life? You know, we're all, I mean, it's just fear that you fight all the time.

I don't, I hate that. I hate. So for joke about it, that's really good. It goes away. Absolutely, so that's what struck me about this, is that this victim, which she was, has taken comedy for what it's supposed to be, freeing. I remember when I was in rehab

I told this before When somebody when you can read I got sober because I Related to another human being who did fucked up shit like me and was trying to get off a booze and had a hard time So when I found somebody like that to talk to and we could compare notes and help each other and I didn't feel so I'm just a piece of shit. And you know, I remember one of the first time I I talked to this guy brought me in Tom Tompkins brought me into the room. He was just old guy. Just yelled and screamed at the rehab. I was 16 and a half and he's just fucking few fucking I just scream at people fucking dumbass

So he's coming content as long as I thought about was pussy And he goes now you'll fall down the stage your head would split open a bunch of cuts would come out of it Kelly you fucking content. It's the way we talked to me But when he got you alone, it was the sweetest guy ever and I mean brought me to remember he goes tell me your deepest doc It's a doc a secret now. I I was like, I don't have it. He goes, tell me the thing that fucks you up all the time. That you walk around with, that makes you feel different than everybody else that you never told anybody.

And I told him I jerked off one of my friends. When I was a kid. And I feel like I'm gay and I'm not gay. And I feel like that was something, and I don't know what the fuck what that was. And I was young and I'm not gay and I feel like that was something and I don't know what the fuck what that was and I was young and I just kept it with me and he goes Gary

Josh Tom get in here He brought these three kids he goes jerk him off. Yeah, he goes no He goes java jerk off your friend. Yeah, java jerk off one. Yeah, you have a jerk off. Yeah, I'll feel like yeah I did that okay. He goes it's he goes. That's the most common thing for a kid to do It's just sex. You don't know what it is You don't know what it is yet. He goes if you're doing it now, you're a fucking Frank But you know it made me go holy shit. I'm not I don't have to live in that darkness anymore So when somebody like that can actually relate to, you know, not rape jokes,

but can laugh at the situation, or if you can somehow make it funny as a comic, I think that's great. That's what we're supposed to do, I think, right? Yeah. Those are the messages. I got similar messages to that, and that seemed to be the tone. Yeah, I want to speak on behalf of any of those. Yeah, but I also, I understand that this girl is like, it's not funny. We need to stop. Stop it! There's something you have to waste you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, gonna lie my corporate minds kicking around and what do I think I'm blogging about foreskin that's gonna be I don't I don't think the approach was correct

and I do think that the original piece was a smear piece I just think that if we want comedy to be more respected then we have to accept the tighter scrutiny that's gonna come with that look here's there are tons of books about film theory and film criticism and you know they teach music theory and music criticism of those people who wrote those books are fucking very well educated on the subject and did a lot of research on the subject and blogging in the open mic journal as well exactly that's my point is that somebody who's you know has knows this nothing about

comedy goes to a comedy show maybe a couple times and then decides to take somebody out literally take somebody out yeah yeah with and in a with no she says she didn't want to have a conversation there was nothing in there but I do I do think that there were valid discussions that came out of the argument I'm not supporting the original I look I agree with you Mike I think I think the topic of it, I think that both sides got their point across and it was, you know, it makes, and look, comics are actually, I mean, I myself, I'm not, you know, you're gonna be careful when you come up with one of these jokes now to make sure it's funny.

Oh yeah. Funny, trumps everything in my book. But you're not gonna just fucking throw Willie really rape joke out there And you know about this guy just got fired from serious XM like two days ago, you know He got fired from making some joke about some retired football player He's got Lou Gehrig's disease and it wasn't a funny joke But then they were talking about the news. Well family guy just Stephen Hawking jokes That wasn't that was that was that that was down in Florida wasn't it wasn't it?

Wasn't it somewhere else maybe Atlanta? He was in Atlanta. It was three guys. Three guys in Atlanta. And they were doing, well, you, you, you, they were doing the voice, like the wheelchair voice, like, well, no, no, no. But the problem was it wasn't funny. It's not like you can't make jokes like that. And we did that. We fucking trashed Opie one day for an hour, saying that he would, he was, I forget where he was doing something.

We were like, he got par, he, we comes back paralyzed and he come in, guys, are you ready for the next clamp? This is the old B show. Anthony and Jim left because I was too boring because I can't talk out of us strong. We tried to flicking out. He thought it was funny. Yeah. Yeah. At the end of the day, it's got to be funny. Or else people, you're right. Funny trumps, everything funny trumps, everything. The middle of the day, it's gotta be funny or else people you're right funny trumps everything funny trumps Everything like this is like three o'clock. Yeah

People don't get past key words, you know, and it's like and I'm not saying that's right or wrong It just is a fact. Well, that's wrong A word triggers you that's what you're saying is though you're talking about you have to be knowledgeable about what the fuck You're talking about because that was really you got it you have to know I mean if you're gonna just go and blog about something when you're gonna actually take somebody else down, when it could hurt somebody's career, or social standings.

Well, you should be, but people are putting things around people aren't. I mean, that's where, you know what I'm saying? You should know what the fuck you're talking about. You should be an expert at least, at least know what the field you're talking about. I mean, I don't know if she's an expert at least, at least know what the field you're talking about. I mean, I don't know if she's an expert in comedy. Even if she was a comic, well, she had been on stage.

She is trying. But, yeah, she really is. Which one is the? Sadie, right? Yeah. Sadie O'Lindy. Sadie, the one that wrote the piece on Sam. Well, Kirk said something the other day said that a lot of these people who write in this

are failed comics. And he's like, maybe that's why they're angry and that they're no. There's nothing more spiteful than a failed comic. Well, I mean look, failed. I think it hurts our argument as artists to just go to that round and just be like, oh, well, they failed at this. So they can talk about it. It makes it. First of all, you don't know somebody failed that until they're 60. this girl could be the- This girl could be the next big thing. She could be the next Rodney Dangerfield. Yeah, well, I owe- Nothing would make me happier.

I'm telling you, the rate's not funny. Nothing would make me- Nothing would- Nothing- No means no. I'm serious. I'm over here. Showing my legs.

Hey, I asked you for it. It blogs existed in the ladies. Kathy Griffin would have had one, alright right, let's be real fucking honest. Well, I mean, I made me so happy as this girl became me some huge star and asked you to open for her, but said, please, just don't do the rape jokes. No, I love she went for the rape jokes.

I love it. That's a close-up. And I thought she's like, you know what? This comedy thing is hard. I'm doing a few rape jokes. I didn't want it, but the crap wasn't. And I thought some of the things that Lindy said were valid,

you know, and I mean, I was on that episode of Tolly Bias and she kind of was going into the line. She made a rape joke. What do you mean? She made a rape joke. She made a rape joke and let her laugh on a fucking rape joke. She was saying rape jokes out funny. I mean, it's fucking recorded.

And then everyone, no, no, no. You know, she's not, Sadie Doyle also did. She wrote about me She wrote a rape joke they make rape jokes in the fucking thing. I mean what the fuck the thing What the fuck kind of people are I Fucking died the fucking brim makes a red joke in a fucking the Henry the fucking brim makes a rape joke There's a collage guy and a fucking AIDS victim. And she's making rape jokes on the television.

The thing that kept upsetting me about that, Norton, discussion was how she'd be like, Norton? Well, no. But we wish it was Patrice. We should kept doing the thing like that side voice. Or she'd be like, Oh, okay, so now it's cool if I do this.

It was bothering me. She did like six times. Or she'd be like, so now someone's gonna watch it. And I'm like, Oh, cool, it's like, stop doing that side voice. She turned into a fucking a South Park character. Yeah That's what she watches. Yeah, I guarantee South Park's great. Yeah, but you know me rape jokes They've made oh I guarantee she has if you're cartoon

You can say whenever the fuck you want indiana Jones when they did a whole episode about Indiana Jones being raped by Steven Gilbert get them jars full on accused scene with Indiana Jones as Jody Foster like brutal rape scene like it's so hard they did everything they did five different joke with Indiana Jones Graphically they would have on a pinball machine Where do you why do you why does that not get fucking why why why Yeah, but not the way Sam did well Cuz he's cool people have gone and people have tried to get South Park I mean why don't point where the movie was about that why and why don't they and why don't they get to them because it makes the channel

The station tons of money exactly but they fought it. They did for you Sam You need to make more money is my guy Then it'll be okay if you were headlining you wouldn't have been attacked not so much for any kind of rape thing Just so you don't have to wear that shirt anymore This is supposed to get him to headlining Ruse yeah, there's a bump. I pay you there fucking and use the dull blade The perspective I'm gummed through I've just been to way too many shitty open mics right to the bottom of the r i've just been to way too many shitty open mics work on the cctl boris rape jokes and there's just been one female comic

having to fucking take it and it's like i sense i sense can i send something from you yeah that's why you are you you're you're you're kind of entrenched on that side of the business you have you have uh... i'm not saying this is bad either you have some friends over there. You're North and South. Well, my mom was also a comic in dealt with massage and the all the time.

What the fuck, what? Yeah, for 15 years and, you know, some of the things people, right? I mean, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I've had arguments with her about that and I used to be more vicious than I learned. I still do understand up. What do you, that's great. I saw her just now and I used to be more vicious. I still don't understand that. What do you think?

That's great. I saw her just saying that. To you. I am. I'm in the carlin'. No more is bought. She had a real young. Vos is just a pothas. All right. All right.

All right. Listen. Listen. Shave the beard and get me a cup of coffee with three sugar. I know how to emotionally accept Vos. I wish she was my son. I've been in a room with Rich Vos. I wish she was my I've been in a room with Rich Vos no But I don't even know if we're recording

No, we are we are keep going. No, but you know she and she was a comic for years and some of the horror stories that she told me which were real Um are things that I've seen you and it kind of, you know, Bob, can I just say something? That doesn't make sense to me. Okay, because I need more, what does that mean? Horror stories, what do you, you know, example? Are you ready for some pussy tonight? You know, give it up for this next bitch, like the way that women are in this.

Well, tell her to stop doing black rooms. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you ready for this? But even like, even when people are like like are you guys ready for a female comic? Here's some extra Jans that's like all for that. That's fucking retarded. That's it. It is still happened. Oh That's misogyny though. I feel like that's fucking idiotic. That's just dumb and people think that's okay. I See ready for your next comic, but what?

I see you ready for your next comic, but what What are you gonna do? They go this next guy. I don't go hey, hey, I'm a human. Hey, I was a tone when they say Yeah, when it's just one Yeah, I know what I'm like saying when they're making it look like a novelty. Yeah, but it's women could be funnier They wouldn't have this problem Very he-ha intro. Well, you let me know if you're kidding or not before I yell a greed. Hey, my mom had to raise me without an iPad monitor, you know, it's tougher time. Yeah. No, but I totally understand what you're saying.

I'm not talking. That's not by choice. They weren't made. You're saying that you didn't have enough money for it. It didn't exist. She was emceeing. She couldn't for it. There wasn't it didn't exist She was emceeing she couldn't afford it Cuz she was a woman

Melon's he's get paid more as Keith Roberts, but that's a different thing That's like a that's like a non-communian reporting on jokes But being in the trenches as you speak of as a chicken and she had a husband and guys would try to hit on her and fuck her and stuff. I mean, I think it is harder. Yeah, but can I say that's not because she's a comic though. You just, it's just that, if she worked at Grossman's bargain outlet, that would have happened.

Oh, that's a very specific and that's a very specific but being a comic. But can we, but it's not because she was a comic though. If she, anywhere she worked because she's a pretty girl, or a woman, she's, the guys are gonna try to hit on her in banger, even if she has. But can't we strive to be better than that?

Yeah, absolutely. You should, as a, oh shut the fuck up. You know what Mike? I'm gonna fucking shave your beard right down the middle and create a pussy. Oh no, my own persona. It'll be funny if you couldn't play Brooklyn anymore. Not until you grow back Yeah, he's exiled. Yeah, you stay in Queens Now I just got a rape joke

But wouldn't you wouldn't you say it wouldn't you say it's a lot better for women in comedy now It was when your other of your mother was doing comedy. I imagine a while ago I mean in some ways, but I still do think that there is some level of misogyny, and I think some of the issues brought out from this initial argument were valid. I think that the piece, I think the piece that Sadie wrote was a smear piece, and I don't respect that she attacked a friend of mine. I like Sam a lot, but I do think some of the discussion after that that Molly had and Lindy had,

I don't think everything they said was wrong and I don't think we need to be so defensive all the time. That's how we make a part of our work. But I just don't like when they come at it so country. Don't be so country about it. Just, you know what, here's- But isn't that word, man? Yeah, but okay, don't be so, you bit snobby.

How's that? Don't be a fucking snob about it. Don't go on TV and act like you're above me or better than me or somehow What I'm thinking on my comedy or my sense of humor is wrong because of you because of what your sense of humor is and then in the Same fucking breath make the make the same joke So now I'm sitting there going wait me. I breath make the same joke. So now I'm sitting there going, wait a minute, I'm laughing at a joke you just said that you're saying I shouldn't think it's funny. Where the fuck do I go from there?

Where do I go? As a person that's trying to fucking listen to you and learn from you and understand you and find your point of view when you're playing, you get to do, when you're playing you get to do when you when you understand comedy you just prove the point you said something that was funny and it was about a problem with them talk the way they talk down. I agree with what you're saying.

And I like the fact that you're attacking her approach but so many fucking people and a lot of them comics, you know, and Norden even decried this wrote jokes about her being overweight and stuff. That should have to stop, man. Well, here's a thing. Does it make us look good? Well, no, it doesn't have to stop.

I mean, here's a thing. No, I look at, Mike, you gotta draw the line somewhere. No, look, look, look. I'm gonna take that text. When you're debating something like that, you're not gonna, you're not gonna attack, you, I don't think the people

that went and attacked her afterwards, in the way they did it was wrong. You don't fucking, you don't wish somebody's death. You don't wish somebody's fucking violent death. You stop it, it's not a fucking joke. Wishing somebody fucking dies, is only funny once in a while between friends. If that somehow makes sense. It's not funny from strangers.

It's not fucking funny from strangers. And the way we deliver harsh comedy, fucked up edgy, real harsh comedy is something that we've been developing for 20 years with our other comic friends in front of hundreds and hundreds of thousands of crowds of People to know the timing and the essence and the minute and the second to say that one thing Where it hits and people get it and there's a set up and a punch and a something right coming after it and then we're gonna go into this other topic to take you away from it We know what the fuck we're doing. We're professionals So to go and attack this girl or she's on TV. She's there. She's saying it But to go on an attacker and you fucking fat fuck. I hope you die

It's not funny. It's not right and you're fucking thrown away all the shit that we do It's not funny. It's not right and you're fucking thrown away all the shit that we do, Norton and guys who are edgy and fucked up that like to, and Sam, you're throwing it all to window. You're not helping us. You're not helping us at all. Right, right, and when I see that, I'm like,

I, I, I, I, But neither is calling her a cunt. Right. I said neither is calling her a cunt. I cunt, I didn't call her cunt, cunt the attitude, which is snobby. All right, listen, country snobby to me is same thing, but the snobby approach to, you know, look,

if you, the tone, the tone, which with you teach me something, okay, says a lot, okay, if you're gonna come at me like these people with the stupid, you know. Dicay males. Yeah, the cocky-mails. Why can't with the fucking word eludes me. Forrestkin. No, the, what is it called? Circumcision.

Circumcision, yeah, I can't, I'm sorry, I'm so tired. Look, if they came at me with a different tone, you know, and beforehand, I might have fucking, I might have, like I said, I might have thought it, I might have thought it through, and they might have changed my mind, maybe. But, you know, the way that they, that she presented, and I know, first of all, I know she was defending herself.

She was defending herself. She thought she was gonna be attacked in the show by Jim. I thought it was brilliant by Jim, not to, to be smart enough to not attack her because she was expecting to be attacked by somebody who attacks people but jim is a very smart very smart i was fantastic jim is a very nice he's a very nice he's a very

nice guy for all the fucked up evil shit that he does was talks about or whatever he has a huge heart a big fucking heart. So, so, what's your guy, man? The point he made about the South Park point, about it's either all okay or none of it's okay. That was a great point also. Because, where do you draw the line?

I mean, you should, you know. Well, I don't think that you come at it like, look, I don't think you come at it like, you guys are fucking assholes and pigs and guys and wait a minute, stop. We're not all like that. And you know what, if you go, look man, I don't think it's cool that you do that.

Listen that and be specific what we're saying to me. And don't be an asshole and don't talk down to me and try to come at it with a point of view. And I'll listen, if there's one thing I've learned in to me and try to come at him with a point of view. And I'll listen. If there's one thing I've learned in the last 10 years, fall in love with a woman, seriously, fall in love with a woman, go to therapy, you're gonna stand. I was a piece of shit.

I went to a third world country to fuck hookers. Oh, you did. To fucking, I didn't care about anybody, to have it all be taking away from me. To have the one woman that could be the woman for the rest of my life be taken away, it took years, in years, to connect to a female. Because I was taught my whole life not to. We're taught as men not to connect because if you connect your life is fucking over. You're where I'm at now with a wife and a kid and a mortgage and responsibility.

Okay? That's death to most men. And you talk to guy, don't fucking do it, don't fuck. Just fuck. But what does men do do that? The majority men do that. We do. and you talk to guy, don't fucking do it, don't fuck. Just fuck. But what men do do that? The majority men do that. We do, but a lot of us, a lot of us, and you excluded, because I think you have a healthy, you have a healthy relationship with your girlfriend. I really love your relationship with your girlfriend.

You're honest to God. I love that you love your chick. But a lot of guys don't, a lot of guys were taught, fuck women, they're fucking, they're just trying to fuck you. And look, I've been with a lot of guys don't a lot of guys were taught fuck women. They're fucking they're just trying to fuck you And look I've been with a lot of fucked up women. I've been with a lot of crazy fucking women Seriously a lot of fucking Wow like we're on both sides were fucked up But it takes a long time the last six eight years to learn about women and learn that I fucking

To love a woman and to be vulnerable and to give a shit about them. Now I have a kid with one to love a kid. I'm going to love that motherfucker. Listen to me, man, there's one thing that kids not going to have to worry about. It does my dad love me. And I don't care how fucking gay I I seem in front of his friends. I'll fucking kiss that kid and hug that kid. Do you understand? I don't give a fuck that's the one thing he's gonna have he's gonna have self-esteem He's gonna know that people give a shit about him and me being one of those people Where were your kiss them? Jesus on the mouth. I'll just I don't know fucking mouth

I kiss him on the mouth now, man. I don't give a fuck. I don't care, but I kiss him on the mouth now man, I don't give a fuck. I don't care but These women the way they fucking if she had come to if she had said hey Here, you know listen man and how to dialogue with you and discuss it with you Not with them all the not with those people that want to attack you With you if sat down on what is this about and you could explain it and went back or forth, I think both sides would have learned so she wouldn't have gotten any followers. Yeah, no one wanted a rational. Well, here's one of the problems too is that we as comedians don't get to control how people are introduced to comedy. So there are literally thousands

of people who the only time they've been to a comedy show is a bringer show. And if that's your entry into it, that'd be like if the only Indiana Jones movie you saw was the last one. I love that you bring how your favorite fucking movies into it. Well, I was also talking about the ringer show. It feels like you're almost apologizing as you bring the comments. But you know what I mean? But there are, but you know how many people. I'm gonna tell you what's up to Linda.

But it's also the reality. The reality is there's an own spoken part of the audience that we never talk about, which is people that are just brought, that don't want to be there. If there's a group of 20 people, and they're lied to. Well, that too, and not even bringers, but even like a showcase show or a headline

and show a husband and a wife. How many times will you see the husband having a great time and the wife's like, all right, fucking Mac or May next week, you know what I mean? And she's a cunt. Stop kidding. I'm kidding. It depends on the club though.

It depends on who you have. If you have a street team, it depends. You know what I mean? You know, people like to do that. But here's the thing. I used to love Patrice's shows. I think he even did it on his CD. It's like, you'd see the girl not laughing.

And he'd be like, good. That's the way it's supposed to be. Oh, great county shouldn't be for everybody. You should be offended. But it doesn't mean you get offended and go try to get somebody arrested and have the job taken away. Yeah, that's the word. And have everything misconstrued over the next three weeks and have people fucking wanting to physically hurt you.

But here's where in the West, if you hated someone you would duel them if you don't like them now you help them you blog them it's the new vigilante is the cowardly a modern punisher would movie would just be here and writing blogs yeah you know I'm a I'm a fucking asshole because I I literally I I'll pull out my yelp like a fucking six shooter you're down I went I went to a Cuban restaurant today around the corner for my house. They closed at, I think, 3.30. Ziesta.

Who, what? Third day in a siesta? No, that's fucking Mexican. You're absolutely regulated. That's a Cuban. That's Cuban. And what happened? I'd grab my phone.

I go to the oven and Cuban sandwiches. No, all we have is this. We're closing. And I grabbed my phone out and open my yelp and started walking out. I didn't leave a yelp, but I was threatening them. Like, I know they were looking at like, this motherfucker's gonna leave.

I was waiting for them, okay, okay, we have a Cuban sandwich. Did they give you one? No. And essentially what happened to Sam is he got a bad yelp. What's your badge number? That's really what it comes down to. Blah or another form of... Kelly got a bad yelp review? People get fired at my work at the restaurant for getting bad reviews.

And a bad review is like... A bad review is like someone running on Yelp. I waited 30 minutes for someone to see me. Who waits 30 minutes at a restaurant to be sat on a table? Who sings the same thing when Where they run the fucking podcast. Everybody does. We lose our jobs and stuff. But it's vigilanteism, you know?

Yeah, but it's like, it's so, it's so extra. That's it, it is. It's so exaggerated that it makes no sense. And the fact that other people can believe it and not see through the eye, like it makes me, like, feminism now is too, like, people, girls get confused now with being a feminist, like,

stick out for myself when I believe in and not letting anyone talk to me badly to being this crazy, huge thing of like, bruh, he comes out. Bruce Wayne now would be like, the turkey was dry, you know? That's people's way of life. Where are my sides?

Yeah. I never got my sides. My coupon wasn't validated, you know? But that's way of my side. I've never got my side. My coupon was invalidated. You know? But that's exactly what it is. That's people's way of attacking and not feeling helpless. It feels too bad, though, because but girls have started to do that now because like I don't want to say I'm like, oh, good feminist. But girls get spoken over a lot and not listen to so long.

I don't think that's true. I don't think it's true. But now, as a matter of fact, Joe, I don't think it's... I mean, Sarah's, I don't think it's true. But Dan, if you're gonna... I just want to jump in. Why don't anyone listen to me? That's why you're rapist.

No. Oh my God. What is that funny? You chose to be talked over. But that's what they do. You should be talking the other way. Yeah. What is that funny? You chose to be talked over Talking Yeah, why don't you get talked I really do want to know what the point is now It's never a point Joe. I know there usually isn't but that's what I thought maybe this was the one Processing process and sake. This could be Kelly's first point ever

I enjoy the bit What if the bit is stepping on the first time Kelly said something until you two children were born this month. No, the point is child and Kelly's idea. But the point is that for like as soon as girls turn full, boys stop being louder than them. So girls are used to being the quieter one all the time. You already lost. On that fucking fact that you have no back. It is absolutely true. Google it. I want to Google. No, no, I want her to Google it. Yeah. No, you just keep going on your point that we're going to Google.

They did a study that they found that girls have the same voice. I don't know. Some fucking town school with a fucking scientist and white coats, they did a thing where it was that. Scientists? Yeah. That's what we call them here. Okay. But it's like four or five years old girls, that's when girls stuck in quieter and boy stuck in louder. It's just a natural thing that happens all the time everywhere. And then now it's like, you guys are leaving me on my own. No, no, no, keep going. Listen, listen, listen, it's our fault for being quiet. They are making no sense. It's telling us that we're fucking jab over you. We shut

up and you can fail. We're proving all those four year old boys right? Girls are used to being the quieter one. And then when they start getting a voice, they take it further than what they probably should. Because they are used to being the quieter one and then when they start getting a voice they take it Further than what they probably should because they are used to not being listened to me spoken of you know funny shut up Shut up because I get told to be quiet not just in this room But every other room that I do comedy in a lot. I don't think that's right I think you should be told this yeah up And then when I do have a point I'm I'm really emotional about it because I'm like, oh, you

listened to me last time, fucking, and you're just years and years of being told. We're listening to you right now. We do, I'm on Samsung. If you're bored because of who she is and not what she is, that's progress. I think your mother right now would tell Kelly to shut up. Oh, that's my point. I don't think, I think where we are. Ha ha ha. I don't think I think where we are. I think someone.

You don't know. You would know Bobby. Be quiet and buy your son some razors. That's what my mom said. No, but that's the thing. Like, everyone, you guys can say everything. But what I think is totally on the same side, I'm never going to be a girl like Lindy West.

But it's like, unless you walk in these shoes, it's like, I don't know what it's like to be Barbie, but no one knows what it's like to be me. like I don't know what it's like to be Barbie But no one knows what's like to be me because you know what it's like to walk into a room a comedy room and other Comics hey I don't know what to talk to you Why we are the way we are because of the way we're treated three years and years are being treated the same way Well, why don't you learn how to carry your own groceries? I think I know what it's like to be you I ate one at a L.O. comedy club the other night.

I know what it's like to be you, Kelly. I've eaten until I've passed out and then cried and then eaten more. I think she just gave us the world's first podcast, Philobuster. If I keep talking, I don't know that. I don't know if he keeps talking. And now on the floor, Kelly Fistuka from Australia. I don't know what it's like.

Point, Minnestown. It's Kelly Fistuka goes to Washington. And now on the floor Kelly for sugar for most of us Point me this down It's Kelly for stew good goes to Washington What's a filibuster? until they just try to until they Drums and holds the record for 56 hours to or just stop civil rights Yeah, you just keep talking and talking and talking on the floor and you just keep yapping and yapping and yapping and they can't do anything about it It's the Smith-Gas to Washington gonna talk it on the floor and you just keep yapping and yapping and yapping and they can't do anything about it. This is Smith who has to go to Washington.

That's right. Anyways. If only Jimmy Stewart was born in this country. We gotta stop talking about these rites, y'all. I'm so glad that I was like, look, I don't want to talk about it. And then an hour later. Wait, you knew that. Come on.

I really, honestly, God didn't want to talk about it, but it's such a fascinating, and this is why we wound up talking about it, Mike, is because you are kind of on the other side of it, and you bring that perspective of the girls. Like you can, so, I mean, which is good. I don't think it's a bad thing. I mean, I'm better than Kelly, just.

Yeah. I'm a comic, you know, and I want the right to say I do rape jokes in my acts What yeah, what my closer that I did on my first TV said was a rape joke. Yeah, I Mean I And I think it's all over Brooklyn. Yeah, all those girls that liked you and I Don't think but I don't think it's wrong this month of the fuck a right but i don't think but i don't think it's wrong why someone to be upset if i do that joke that's their right i'm not saying that although i i i'm absolutely blogger wages at least but have some integrity in

what you do because we've integrity in what we do i do facts right don't miss quote jokes that's all right and i never said it was right that she is quoted i said it was right for her uh... but so much in her article she was one line that said, I just wrote my own mouth. Sam, Sam, Sam, well, smile is while raping women. As well, Sam, Sam, smile is while talking of raping women. And I was like, you left the word joke out.

That's a big word in there. But it's also not every, not every rape joke is horrific, but not every blog about it is bad. And not even, not even rap is the open mic of a blog, right? Why'd you just say? Not every rap is horrific but not every blog about it is bad. And your rapist's open mic of a blog, right? Why'd you just say? Not every rapist horrific. Like so. Jesus Christ, Joe.

Maybe we're going into a... What about that? It was a rap joke. Is it okay? No, it's not okay to for me to make a rap joke. That's just the same. It's Sam does it for a living. I just threw one as an aside.

Is it okay to sexually fantasize with your lover? And I choose the word lover to bring it back to the 70s. Yes, I want to be a lover. Full of passion. Passion, but. We've all just got very light FM on us. Does that hear you? Is it okay to keep going?

I'm running it down. Fuck you. Heavy, that would be my FM radio name. If I ever give up comedy and go to Tampa to do fucking radio, I will be right there with you. Heavy FM and Dan Monster in the morning. I love that you're listening to heavy and monster in the morning. I want to say Tampa.

I just want to give up in every way possible. That's all there is. one of the said tampa i just want to give up in every way possible uh... is it okay is it okay with these women if sexually we fantasize if i was with a woman and we fantasize about rape i don't think that's cool like you know she like to be raped i don't think that's all i'm all i'm okay is that i mean is that bad too

is that is that terrible to do? I'm not saying I do that my wife my look my wife won't even play massage Paula She want to be the masseuse cuz she fucking does as she's an esthetician. It's too close to what I do No, it isn't it's not even the same ballpark It's a different part of the salon But all I was trying to say what I'm saying Michael I. All right, I'm sorry. Michael, what I'm saying is it okay, do you think it's okay to sexually be deviant and play, you know, okay, I'm gonna break in

and hold you down and force you. It's fucking weird. Yeah, is it okay? It is very weird. Is it okay? I don't know. Of course it's okay. It's just, it's weird.

It's weird. I'm asking you, do you think that's bad? What, the fantasize about it? Yeah, I don't actually do it with the girl. It's fucked up. I guess you're well, yeah, of course. Why is it fucked up? Is she into it?

Yes, she's into it, I think it's wrong. I'm not just breaking into a, yeah. They're the point of, really real rape. That's real rape. But the point of rape is no consent, and if there's consent of time. Yeah, but it is your kind of into rape. I've seen, let me just say something.

I'm not saying me, I'm saying if somebody was, he, it, or she, they, they, I saw a porno that, you know, with the girl, okay, here's the scenario. Tell me, tell me if the scenario is right. It's my pants off. Okay, wait a second. Tell it so. Okay, so the girl, here's the,

Kelly mood music The girl is the guy drives by the house. Okay. What's the guy TT boy? He wearing uniform So the guy white guy easy. I don't like if it's a black guy. I'm going to the next clip of it's a black guy No, he's a Spanish guy. Ah light skin. So Lewis Hey, there's a house. I'm gonna go rip it. I said like, I'm gonna use the Camaroon. I said light skin, not gray, fucking dark under the eye skin.

Castle Gray skull. He man, I'll get you. It kind of is the merman of this pod. Yeah, he's a baby that had a fucking cement carriage. Oh, both of it just all fucked up. So the guy is going, he's looking for this house. He gets the wrong house. He breaks in this woman. This woman is there.

Husband is in the closet. Her husband's in the closet. Yes. Okay. Husband's in the closet. She calls up on the phone. Hey, I want to hire somebody to come over and blah blah blah like an escort The guy comes in throws her on the bed forces her. She's like no, no, no, what are you doing? He rapes her basically rapes her

And you know she's then she gets into it halfway through she starts to light you know fucking it and you see the husband Watching from the doorway and then at the end he you know, Fox, you're in the ass and jizzes and blah blah blah. He leaves. You tell your husband next time he's going to fucking he owes the money. He pay the money and he leaves and then should the phone rings and it's the company and they're like, look, the escort can't find the number of the house. He and she's like, what? It was actually a real mob guy who went to the wrong house and raped a wrong sister and a misdirected now I used to snap correctly and at the end the the

rape guy and the girl on the bed they went hey I just want to let you guys know that that was a fantasy of ours at work. This is my husband and we love each other and this is a fantasy of ours for a long time and we just wanted to live it out. I know it's bullshit. At that point you've already came and turned off the clip. So I don't think you're sticking around. But there's also, but there was participation there.

I guess. Roach got a topic with a loved one. You're like, what is this? What is this, you these masters are lovely. Should we do fake rape on Thursday? Fake rape? I dulled the knife. Yeah.

And I got to last the basement window. And I think that's a stir, man. Yeah, I don't like that at all. But we all have an internal sensor, right? There are certain things that you don't say on stage because you know that you couldn't defend them. You know what I mean? I just don't think what your beliefs are, what you think is good or bad, right?

I believe in our future. We teach them well. Well, here's something that was interesting to me. Last year I did the nasty shows with Bobby Sladen and he hosted. Oh, no, Vagan Pippel. Vagan Powa comedy. Vagan Pippel comedy. nasty shows with Bobby Sladen and he hosted. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, After this black guy every racial joke under the sun literally call them like a real and we're Google Google like just every Things Imagine that's funny. Yeah, I'm sorry. Did you say oh

quotation marks in quotation wow now Never find out what oh good book of book of mean in the African language hilarious Buga Buga means in the African language hilarious I think it's translated into belly laugh Translates do we need to do something about apartheid No, so he's he's fucking just Whaling on this dude and he gets off stage and I say to him like man I noticed you never once made fun of how fat the woman was and he says to me What do you think I am a monster?

That's great. I mean and That's the line that he and it's also kind of if he had gone that far the audience probably would have turned on him Probably through trial and error of years of doing that Women have it easy. And you can, you can't, you can't fuck with women the way you can fuck you as a comic. You can't fuck with women the way you can fuck with men. You can't fuck with women. The way you fuck with men. But that was, but he was working under his internal sensor and when we go into

a random audience We're dealing with everybody who has their own and sometimes there's gonna be people who aren't happy with the shit We do. Yeah, so what? Yeah, that's our job. That's our job. No, I don't have to do something about it I think I think you know what you do about it. You don't laugh. That's your responsibility That's how you let me know you don't think it's good. You don't laugh I don't think I go to a fucking play and I don't go back. I don't applaud I don't stand up at the end if I don't think it's good But I don't tell people to go to it. Yeah, but I don't go I don't go and tell the fucking world and make shit up about it And I don't attack it. I have a play but lots of people I've done a lot of theater actually back in boss

But lots of people do go online and write reviews I just because it's one or two blog girls who you know say this stuff It doesn't mean that you have to discredit the audience the the argument all the time because I Just want to say this that happens all the time women women we I think we respect women way more than we did fucking ten years Yeah, no, we did. Well, first of all, Kelly, it's a great today. And also women be shopping. Women you know you be shopping.

Real quick guys, Kelly, go ahead. Okay, so we'll go through the advertisers. They tweaked audio.com is where we go get our headphones are inexpensive and they're really good and they're tough and they're durable. Don't buy just one, buy two or three or four, pop in the code, doodd.edu.edu and get 33% off all of your headphone needs. It's free shipping and there is a, it's not a lifetime warranty but it is a kind of lifetime warranty where I think if it's more wear and tear. Don't worry, don't lose yourself a steam through this because it just goes this is why women get beat this is why they're not as good as us

want to see Dan do one Dan go watch watch go what are we doing it's more comfortable senior to that during a plug as opposed to someone's horrible go to right has that com forward slash Robert Kelly including on the Amazon link where you can buy all your stuff and 25% of it actually goes to the YKWD cotton Don't give it back to You know women are better

Moments smarter So that's a right cast.com forward slash Robert Kelly click on the Amazon link and so you get whatever you need whatever you want to buy And then you help us out because you do get this podcast free weekly and sometimes you get twice weekly. Buy weekly? I don't know. I've been, yeah, we actually been doing these Thursday one on one. I did a really great one with Doug David off this week. Dan, great.

I'll listen to it. And also Gamefly as well on the rightcast.com forward slash Robert Kelly Gamefly. Have you used the Gamefly link yet? Dan? I haven't got games, so I don't use it. Is it? Is it too? You don't use it uh... you don't have a game

uh... she's got no game that's a spiky movie and also i'm going to thank some donations bomb yeah well well uh... absolutely we uh... we want to thank noble baruso uh... we want to thank a dogless of malone

had the graves of course kevin st. Louis, Matthew, Jordan Crosby, Jerzy Zellowesky, and that's it. So thank you for the donations. Thank you for listening to the show. Number one, thank you for subscribing and leaving a review on iTunes. We got fucking crazy reviews on iTunes.

And you guys, if you haven't reviewed and subscribed on iTunes, even if you listen to the podcast on another app or another source, do that anyways. It promotes the show. It keeps us in the top 100, which we've been for over a year and a half now, which is pretty amazing.

And there you go. So I'm also doing the show up in Montreal at the Comedy Festival. And why are you gonna be up this year? Not this year. Are you Sam? Not allowed to say. No, he's not.

He's not going to be up there. Are you gonna be up there? No, he's not. He's not Sam. No, he's not. He's not mine. Wow. No.

I'm fucking weirded out right now. Joe, are you? I am not. Are you? Nope. Joe, are you? I am not. Are you? Nope. Kelly, are you? I don't know you. I may go up, because Celia is going to be there, so I might go up there to meet her.

You may bring me to Montreal. So I'm going to be doing the advisor, but what a voice. I'm doing the show up there. I'm doing two one shows, up there. So just go to JeffSelas.com, or go to my website, RobertCatelive.com, and get tickets to the show. If you're a fan of the show,

and you guys are from Canada, Buffalo, Rochester, anywhere from there, Toronto, get the fuck over to Montreal for that week, and make sure you go to my one-hour show in the YKWD show, and my gala show, if you wanna, I guess, I don't know, but definitely my one-hour show. I gotta sell those tickets.

So I appreciate you guys supporting it and spreading the word and getting people involved. And next week, this, where do you pass this, I don't know what the fuck this is. I gotta piss so bad. We're gonna take a break that you're not gonna know about because it's literally gonna go, it's gonna go, and you're gonna know that we took a break because Bob Kelly has taken piss. from from and you know you know that we took a break

because Bob Kelly has taken piss. Well now you're definitely gonna know we took a break. You're not gonna know we took a break dude. You're not gonna know we took a break because we're gonna we're gonna literally fucking talk. Ah, that's hilarious. And you know what, I'm not even gonna take a break. Fuck it, let's just keep going.

Just hold it dude. Peace in your pants. The magic has happened. I'm not even gonna take a break, fuck it, let's just keep going. Just hold it dude. Peace in your pants. The magic has happened. Radio. And nobody knows. The magic has happened right before your eyes. You don't know, cause it's a big surprise.

It's me 1985 Bob Iraq and Roa I sing you in this song And you just want to go BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM Oh, oh, oh, oh And the lights go down in Texas And the lights go down in Texas And the lights go on in Montreal

These three people that were really uncomfortable in this room Well, at least you can't judge us the rest of the show. That's like when dad wraps Well, let me plug my headphones back in Bussing everybody puts on my grandma give someone a hand Everybody everybody put their fake moustaches on Jerry just had a buzzing Oh, I'm thinking smells like balls I tell you this week wasn't last week or not. Oh, and a Nothing was more comfortable when Norton they have it. Oh God, please Google this. Norton Ozzie comes in. Yeah. End of studio. And he's like,

Jesus Christ, Jim, you look him, you look amazing. You lost the weight. Jim. So they fucking had a British accent. He replied to the gym and you know, I exercise a little. It's, it's the most I'm raging. This fucking, this Borgorg he is assimilating asshole

Turned it is Madonna Cunt just turned English He can hilt you At Cal if you find that audio I tell the erectus I love Norton and I get it You know the main he goes he just texted me goes I don't I go I was nervous It was just nervous. So what you turn English when you get nervous Hello, all right. Is it playing gonna crash a note? It's a load of two feelings No, yeah, yeah, see the scab when you dick. Do you have AIDS? Yeah, see the scab when you dick. Do you have a

Oh my god, so anyways, yeah, so I'm going to Montreal nobody else is going to Montreal and here apparently so It's just me up there so nobody from the YKWD and this room is going Collins gonna be up there. Oh boy, which is gonna be cool Big J's gonna be on the show oh And P Correlli For the podcast is also gonna be a Nate Bargaz. He's gonna be on the show oh boy and Peacorelli for the Galaxy's also gonna be a Nate Bargazze is gonna be up there, you know fucking Nate this cock sucker. I he hasn't even called me I taxed him This cock suck is an entrepreneur no offense. I taxed him. He has an email me. He hasn't sending his fucking

Dispunt nothing Nothing nothing and once you have a kid someone someone else can't use the, I have a kid excuse. No? Because I got one too, you can't. I have to say, if not more, no time than you. If that makes sense. Anyways, yeah, that fucking cock sucker, man. I've left him, uh, text messages.

I- Out of good person. I'm hearing a playback from this. Listen, you can't get carried away. Did you got it? So, all right, let's move on topics. To sum it up with the whole thing. If you just come at somebody,

if somebody said, if you just come at somebody with a different tone, if you can discuss something, the way you wanna be talked to, you don't like people you If you can discuss something, the way you want to be talked to, you don't like people, you fat-cut, die, hippo, fucking fat face. Maybe you should use some of that with when you talk to the person that said something you don't like.

You should say, hey, I really don't like, because let me tell you something about comedians, with the most approachable people in the show business. You can email us, we'll email you back. We'll respond to you on Twitter. People get dumbfounded that, dude, I can't believe you. Yeah, because I'm with the most down to earth of anybody in show business.

And we have the least to do with our time. I'm actually scrolling on Twitter. I'm like, no one's adding me in a while. And it's like, I wanna respond to someone. So, if we don't use him. Well, fucking right, a really good, another rape joke. Right, a rape joke too, that's not funny,

that's really just about rape. See what happens. You get a lot of fans. You and Lewis can do your own podcast. The raping festers. I'm very bothered. So you guys, everybody, who saw, by, raise a hands, who saw Superman?

I saw it made us do it by by higher hand raisings More confident hand raisings there just three people Kelly no Do you need money? Kelly can afford Kelly has to go with the limp and grayer hair to get fucking movie tickets. Nothing, nothing, nothing. Joe? Kelly's there's very dark today. I think she looks pretty sexy.

She's got a dark shirt and dark hair. Don't be condescending, man. And don't be, don't be massaging anything. And don't be rude to women. Thank you, Charlie. It's dark for no reason. Speaking of Superman. Well, well, Superman, I was, I'm hoping, I I haven't seen it so please don't ruin the whole

Fonding thing I promise I'm already did that I'm hoping that it was as what they did with Batman they did with this movie no That's what I love you can't do with Superman what you do with Batman because they're entirely different properties You know you wouldn't you wouldn't want to watch a Richard prior special and then expect the same from Bob with Superman what you do with Batman because they're entirely different properties. You know, you wouldn't want to watch a Richard Pryor special and then expect the same from Bob Newhart, you know. Actually I would. Okay, but the I want Bob knew how to go.

NIGGA! This motherfucker suck my dick! That's pretty awesome. Yeah. And Superman does this in this movie. I mean, this is what I'll say about it say about it. It, uh, the, I hope you'll say it because we're on podcast. This is mainly audio. Maybe that was like, you just have to follow my blog. Um, no, is the thing is that I think

that action wise, these are some of the best superhero action sequences I've ever seen. The fights are fantastic right now the problem is I think it's just really cynical and joyless and lacks any type of humor or wit or fun what about that alert joke that was something I mean I mean that's like as much as we love what Nolan did to the Batman movies outside of uh... he ledger's performance they are just fucking it's like hanging out with an emo kid they're just too dark and there's no there's nothing that makes you smile

you know and that's what a great comic book does all about the opening scene in the third one that made me smile the whole time the planes and the thing. Bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, terrible. Yeah, I know, but it was a great opening scene. Oh my god. It's nothing compared to the bankrupt We've seen in the second one. Yeah, you're right Bank robbery seed to open dark night is way better than there Make me they both make me smile What what did you say I got it?

I love I mean don't get me I like that movie I want oil dark night rises right it's right. I haven't actually I actually haven't seen I don't think it's terrible. I liked it. It's awful. I would love for you to fuck me in the ass doing bane This dick is your all You're long about to talk about Your bottle was open about it on my bottom is open let's look at the stop i just want to stop and get fucking row row is just looking at you like uh... proud father

perhaps you can look my balls on tumblr could you tone down the puppy love please row no you love being angular fucking you love being and you love fucking you love there My god, let's get a really great actor and hide his face. It's I liked it Tom Hardy Tom Hardy is one of my favorite actors. Yeah, he's great Bronson's fantastic plus fighter. I mean warrior. He is pumped out like such a little bitch at the end of that movie that I wonder why I ever cared about him. Yeah. Oh, band. Yeah, the way he left the movie sucked over here. He literally the fight that Batman has with him is like a kid punching

another kid with braces. I've got to go to the old adultist now. Don't hit me. My rubber bands are in I mean it's pretty stop it. It's a great Bruce Wayne sitting in a You know jail cell watching C-SPAN movie. It's a terrible Batman movie Why the fuck doesn't Batman just shoot the motherfucker? Or do we get a gun? He can't use guns and he can't kill yeah Okay, so there we go now let's moving on to this Superman moving. Yeah Sam Have you seen it? I have a thing do you care? I don't really care. I never gave a shit about Superman Really? He doesn't have a heart. He's a cold-hearted rape joke machine. Jesus Christ He's like Superman. I do I yeah, I

I Do like Superman. I love the whole I love everything about I love everything about Superman. I do yeah okay i think it's great i mean this is funny though that he only takes care of americans that's why red that's why red sun was such a great uh... that's how you know he's from cancels you know that they literally put him right in the middle uh... his colors of red white and blue

and i mean it's pretty convenient to be white and land in Kansas Yeah, like that also do a family without other kids. Yeah, like you just why somebody's never done like a He landed in like a hundred and twenty fifth street in Spanish Harlem and grub of the bunch of Puerto Rican's pit bulls It's like hey look Martha. He landed in his cornfield and we're in fertile and his cornfield and we're in fertile. Yeah, I love the combo. Would you imagine if he would have landed him with a real Kansas family? There's like six kids and they're like, this guy's an alien.

Paw Kent is such a shitty fucking character in this movie. All right, I'm gonna ask a question. Kevin Costner, yay, onay. Yay. His acting is fine, but you know, it's tough. I don't want to spoil, so I won't, Yeah. His acting is fine, but you know, it's tough. I don't want to spoil, so I won't,

but there are major choices they make with this character that I just despise. Okay, so you don't like him. And you don't give a shit about him. I didn't think there was a single performance that was like, whoa, that's great. Did you like Michael Shannon was great. Yes, I thought he was okay. I thought he was okay Michael Shannon. He's gone. He's awesome. He's great. Now okay. Well, let's get to this now. Okay, Zod great great all around

Yeah, I just thought he was whatever you know you're out of the game Joe's in the way Tom Hardy was great. He wasn't great the way he was great. He was great He was just a guy this game's not for you. We're gonna I'm gonna give him more articulate answers. You're not giving you everything is the same What do you mean? I don't know it's I didn't think anybody was that good I mean everybody's great. I'm saying it wasn't as good. I'm giving you comparisons. I'm giving you why I'm giving you reasons of giving you multiple sentences All right, you're back in thank you, so Okay, Zod great now. What about Superman's dad? Russell Crowe playing Joel. Yes. I like

this performance. I thought the performance at the beginning of the movie was great and I thought as the movie went on it got worse. I think he's literally clippy from Microsoft Word. He only exists to explain things to the audience. He is just a tutorial. There's like 10 minutes in this movie where you are literally watching a video game and it's just your else saying press A to punch, press B to fly. And there's no, no humanity. It's just all like, I agree. I think the second one could be good and fun. The first one is like, you got to read this. You got to read this to get the, it's home. It went on it was more to much screen time. It was like 40 minutes in the

beginning when I'm like I know that Superman gets to earth let's just get to earth. And I didn't like the angle they took with it with him. I thought he was you're right I agree with both you he was in it too much and I liked the original Christopher Reeve movie where he put in the crystals and then was you know he could see his father giving the speech and this one I thought went on too long. Original Superman you were a fan of. I love it. I'm a fan of Original Superman is great.

First Superman is great. First Superman was one of the best, the best superhero movies ever made. It was the first big one. Yeah. Outside of the flying around a reverse time which negates any suspense or terror. That kind of fucking sucks. Yeah when he had to when he turned the world around yeah that's like you know it every time yeah well you couldn't do that every time because it took a lot out of them yeah he was real when it's a cliff bar and then does it

again and he's I will say this the version. Oh does it there my friend Tommy had this theory originally but how come we can't do new superman reboots like bond where like we all know the story just give us a new movie that we already know who's who the next i think i need an hour and a half fucking million kids there that don't know they can look it up on the google it but it's not for kids kids are going to a bond film actually they can't it's rated are well kids are going to see suit men so here's a deal

expected to have a real but here's a deal if they they have to take the they kind of fucked themselves because if they don't cater to the kid market yes sir my counter argument is if it's for kids and they don't know who Superman is Kids are gonna hate the first 40 minutes where they're in this alternate. It's not a kids movie at all It's not for kids so that's definitely not for kids. It's like tricks negates it. Yeah, I just think we could do a new Superman Rubat a spider-man same thing they reboot whatever the fuck it's called Just give us just give us Spider-man that's what spider-man that's what the last Superman was was It's called

That's what the last Superman was was years after Spider-Man 2. I mean Superman 2 He went away. This was way better than that. That was awful superman. He doesn't even throw one punch in that movie Not one. Yeah, and then it was awful. Yeah cost 270 million to make and he never punches Okay, Okay now terrible terrible. Here we go. I want to know Lex Lucer Lex Lucer. He's not in it. But there's a reference You get you there's there's a couple Luther references but there's one and it and yeah, it's quick Now I'm petitioning for Brian Kranson to play a minute Oh, that would be awesome. That was that right breaking water white. Oh, yeah, he played Lex Luthor He's the perfect Lex Luthor. He makes but him explaining the chemical compound of kryptonite as Superman as weak It would be the best fucking thing. Yeah, I'm way on board with this. I will say this it wasn't a home run like dark night

It I don't I thought Batman begins was a much better retelling of an origin story But I enjoyed I enjoyed the movie I had a good time, I liked it. But my biggest problem with it, and this was in Avengers, and a lot of these newer movies, there is so much wanton destruction and buildings collapsing, and people clearly die.

Yeah. And that's not Superman. Superman literally, and this is not, you know, you see some of these actions he was in the trailer, Superman will throw a dude through a fucking building, the building will fall over, and then, you know, be like, I've got to save Lois, you know what I mean? And it's like, it's so cynical and heartless,

and it genuinely bothers me because that's not what a hero does. Listen, that was great. That's speech. And it genuinely bothers me because that's not what a hero does Isn't it? Listen, that was great. That's speech. It was great if he had a show that you're trying to get on. Oh, I'm so appreciative. I said to him. But he don't I'm saying like, like even in Avengers in downtown Manhattan, dude, it took 11 years to build a fucking freedom tower.

And in these movies, the shit just gets leveled and then, and it's fine in the next one and there's no addressing of it There's no memorial walls. Whoa. Whoa Burger King has a commercial out right now that says that it's hard. He's I think Construction workers because they're a metropolis. They work twice as hard and they yeah, they get and they bake it And I think your argument is a little and in Avengers That was downtown Cleveland they filmed that so we were doing it's madden. We were doing that a favor We're doing that town a favor

Dark night was rises was feeling clear and I know such a suspension disbelief that you've lost I just I don't was how was Superman though awesome the lastman the last guy who played Superman Bugged me because he was Christopher Reeves. Yeah, well that whole movie. I mean Kevin Spacey was Jean Hackman Yeah, he was you know exactly it was just like fuck but the Superman bugged me. It's like Fuck you and your glasses. I didn't like I love the fact that he grew up beard in this one Yeah, and how does he shave? I saw that on a train. I really want to know. Oh, he uses his heat vision on a mirror in his shaves

as displayed in both lowest and Clark and Supermanian main series. Does he shave? How does he shave in the movie? You don't know. You don't know. Really? They don't fuck it.

And he never bleeds. He gets. I know. So fucking heart. And his hair always looks like he just got out of a hot shower. Why does Superman bleed? I mean, you should the man of steel well Stooms they can make them bleed another Kryptonian would make him bleed if you're getting by your own people you'd fucking bleed

Yeah, right there's there's other yeah, or black people Rodney King no black people in crypto. I'm sorry. That's okay. Well the red son wouldn't you know crisp There's hey, can I ask a question? Yeah, so Superman was good the actual guy played Superman I like it was good. Yeah, I liked it I hope they keep them for the next one, but he did things in the movie that are Uncharacteristic of what get a blowjob got sucked off by Lois and a stairwell I like Amy Adams too, but the problem was in that original one of the things that the original 70s movie got right was the chemistry

Between Kitter and Reeve and there were multiple scenes and it when he when he flies her around Metropolis you get the sense of how wonderful that must be to be Superman well you do homo Yeah, but We know what you think of oh come on you in fuck Superman. I yes, I would I would I would fuck Superman All listening to five for fighting Superman song That's our eighth reference to gay by the way. I would take a nice old super pounding from Superman I would even fuck him I'd kiss him you would I'd soft kiss him I'd soft kiss him and I get a piece of spaghetti. This movie was as fun as that three doors down song.

I liked it. You liked the movie. I liked the movie. I enjoyed it. Now, where was the best part, the beginning, middle, and the fight? The fights. The fights with Zod were awesome. They were just awesome.

And the fight. Well, Zod worked because I think he was one of the best comic book movies ever, villains ever, because he had genuine motivation and you kind of rooted for him. Yeah, the final scene, the final fight scene between him, I'm not gonna ruin anything, but that speech he gives you, all right, I'm kind of on board. Well, they changed the way that the Kryptonians were,

and I thought it was actually even better than the comic books, where it's like, and I mean, this is literally in the beginning of the movie at each Kryptonian is genetically designed to serve a specific function or purpose. So he's not evil. He's serving the purpose he was born for. And I thought that was a little cool. I did. What about Superman? What was he born to know? Aha. You got to watch the movie to find out. All right. And and and Joe. Uh-huh. I just thought there was a lot of fat on it and it was silly, but I should also say this

I should also say this I don't care for the genre and I do this to myself where I go to movies But that I don't like the genre, but I enjoyed the Batman movies because I was like this is something different This is exciting those movies are made for people who don't like comic books, okay? So I look I'm excited to see it. I can't wait to see it. Yeah, I'm gonna love it I missed out on Iron Man 3 and I missed out on Star Trek because I went with my wife to both of them There's nothing worse than going to a movie like a sci-fi movie or a horror movie with somebody who's not into it Because it just fucking stinks. Did you like Star Trek? I don't know because I my wife was huffing and puffing And falling and looking I got to go with people who ask me to explain it the whole time see I go

Myself and enjoy it. I would like to go with people that love it Me and you again me and first Star Trek. I said was really good I mean me and the rose are going to take me and the rose were going Thursday the first Star Trek movie It's great good. Me and Deros are going thirsty. The first Star Trek movie? It's great. I'm fucking believe it. It's fine. I'm believe it was good.

The second one bugged me because they covered up as Moll. I was just looking for it the whole time. Just leave it. I got used to it. That guy and the second one, that guy like Benedict, the guy that pranked out. She's awesome. And do you watch the BBC series?

Sherlock is fantastic. One of the best series of ever fucking things. He's the voice He is so and do you watch the baby see sir lock? It's fantastic one of the best series of He's the voice of the dragon in the hobbit. All right. Here's a thing first of all everyone tells me it's fucking good. I'm good. I've said this I'm gonna told you to watch it This fucking you heard me say it. Yeah, I've said what you just said you fucking About Bobby Kelly. He's got a hard on for Sherlock home Watch the BBC he watches the woman Lucy Lou Right loves it because he likes the heroin spin on it and he's half a quarter say who listens

Yeah, well, he's half a he's gay. I love it. They made him this fucking Maybe bisexual in the BBC one that he might like dudes, which I love that they did that to Sherlock Holmes. He's an asshole, which is great. Fucking dickhead. And Moriarty is fantastic. Holy shit.

And it looks like he just like fucking believe a little bit. Well, you know what also part of why it's great is it's only six episodes. Well, it's not six episodes. It's just three hour episodes. Well, they're like an hour and a half. They're movies. They're two hours. It's over. It's over. They're awesome. they're like an hour and a half, they're movies. They're two hours, two hours, two hours,

two hours, two hours, two hours, two hours. They're awesome. They're unbelievable. I love it, I love it. I can't, they're, They're so many movies stuck though. I like that. I see here's the thing, this is where we go.

This is where my dumbness is actually favors me. I love those movies too. I love it, I love the way talks in it. They should remind me of the Wild Wild West movie. Ah, that movie. I love that movie. I can watch that too. I am very... Wow, it's all worse. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I like them. I like them. I like the all the Sherlock home movies I love. But what I'm really getting, I'm really excited for, is Pacific Rim. Really? Really? What a war with D. Yeah, Modadoza. Is it because of Guillermo Doutoro? He's pumping up World War Z. I'm not the critic, sir.

The guy who's a movie looks fucking terrible. The guy who's a good movie. It's getting unbelievable review. World War Z? Every movie I've seen is there... I could see a Holocaust documentary and there'd be a trailer for that fucking movie. Well, it's actually... The movie looks... I love War War Z. It looks great. The book... I think the book was too good. You know what I hate you know what I I'm not a fan of is when we're talking movies and We're dumbing it down for the listeners

Fucking my aunt Peggy has to show up. I read the book first. Oh, okay. Fuck you book Maybe Max maybe Max Brooks is a great writer and if you are in the zombie culture Perpetuating zombie culture. Are you into pronouncing your eyes? The zombies don't look like they have any personality. That's what I'm looking at. In the book, they don't. A book can be so good, the movie's not good. Yeah.

What about no country for old man, the godfather, and the dude? Oh, whoa. I'm not saying. I'm not saying. Some movies just don't translate. I wasn't saying. Great, that's me. For instance, I was saying.

How about that Thomas Wolf book? You know you know I'm sorry Tom Wolf book you know um bomb fantasy roles now you know I'm talking about wolf the Jack Nicholson movie what a good one wolf by Tom wolf the gray gray I thought was great by the way the gray so I loved it oh you're such an asshole. It was fun. You the ending. He wrapped Nips he wrapped fucking nips around his knuckles and and he was gonna fight a wolf with nips What is it? It's gonna look what seven? He would go to you. What are you excited about Pacific Rim? What and just

Your reference was incorrect. You were talking about kickbox or not blood sports. Thank you And can I get there? Okay. Thank you. Oh, well they dipped it Okay, thank you don't mess with my Jean-Claude Van Damer. I'm gonna fucking tie nips to my knuckles I was ogre from venture the nodes in which one of those movies that was blood sport Pacific Rim looks great because it reminds me of creature double feature and a lot which I loved growing up I love creature double feature and I love the fact. I love the guy from what's his name from Sunsavarnaki is actually the star which I've been waiting

for that kind of guy to break out and the other guy too the black guy is from Prometheus which I love. I just love it. I love him too. I love the wire. Yeah, I love him to Oh, the wire. Yeah, the wire. Yeah, I mean, the need to work. Caroline. Yeah, he's a door guy. Caroline, which I love. Pacific Rim. Um, haha. That's number nine.

The ninth gay joke. Uh, that was that that was an Asian girl, too. Oh, sorry. I thought I thought it was a San Francisco joke. I'm trying to work my way out. So I think it's going to be great, though. It's got kind of Godzilla creatures and then these fucking robots that we get in

and I think it's gonna be huge. It's like Voltron. Yeah, I love fucking Voltron. I think it's gonna be great. I think it's gonna flop at the box office. I doubt it. I saw that. I think that was great.

I saw that too. Oh, that was terrific. What move is it? I watched that sortH-I-I think that was great. I saw that too. Oh, that was terrific. What move is it? I watched that sort of American dad today. What is that? Francis Hire is a, it's a, I've say, it's a fancy new, black one.

Oh, those films that you can talk about in front of people over. This Barbie calls them your queer pictures. You're fucking hippie quiz. It's one of you wanted to show your intelligent, but don't read books. You know, Francis Hire? I'm actually looking forward to seeing mud. I hear it's great. I got 98% 99

99 tomatoes I'm excited for Wolf of Wall Street Trailer this time. That's the Tom Wolf book I'm gonna go see Wolverine by myself and be hate fucked by why I love that movie by myself and be hate fucked by why I love that movie I don't know it does not look that great see here's the first one was bad yeah origins were really bad how do you take Deadpool and shut his mouth shut yeah I love I love Deadpool and I daily bug me that they sold his mouth shut yeah they should have is Ryan Reynolds should have should have had his own spin off

he is the perfect Wade Wilson oh Oh, it's fucking great. He's the perfect Merck with the mouth, but I think that I can't wait to go see Superman. I I think it's What was that? I was gonna do the Superman thing. What was it? What is it? He got Indiana Jones in my head. Well, you don't so you don't know the Superman thing John Williams is really been fun in the end, like the last 20 or 30 years when he used to write amazing fucking scores. John Williams jaws man. But every dog, that's 75, but every fucking song since like the 90s or the late 80s all feels the same. That's what I love about comic books I love that there's a guy named the rhino who's just in a rhino costume

Yeah, like the absurdity of this great. Yeah, what is it? What is he doing? Just hit trucks? Yeah, Paul Giamon is gonna play him and the and she's I got this fucking horn The new spider-man. Yeah, Paul Giamon is awesome. I want to be like him and Thomas Hayden church Is there another spider-man coming? Yeah, they're almost finished Sammy Fox as a lecturer. Yeah, Sam kid Dennis Lairie not in it. He's dead right in the first one Is in the first the last one What are they gonna stop with spider-man?

They're not dude if you have those fucking properties you know you even even if it's you're getting to make a hundred million It wasn't Marvel bankrupt like 15 years ago. Yeah, they were and now these movies. It's like they were owned by Revlon Right and the makeup company You know that I'm called and then to him is to the overacting man. That's what I did That's my power Bobby. It's raining out. It's fucking Rain it out This is a gross super power. Don't get him Spidey Spider-Man's coming up

Maybe just like a fake you're like a grown-up Do it for the fight fighters man those are original spite the post 9-11 bullshit that you mess with Why do I you mess with all of that and I'm just sitting there going They hate him. That's the point of spider-man. He's an outcast. They're like doing for the towers The fucking worse Man, I think I think with the only one we're gonna get I think iron man Is still I don't know why they took John Favaro out of directing. Yeah, he was great on the first.

Well, this is what happened with that was, he makes them telling me this. I will. So he makes the first one in 2008. Hang on one second, stop. Row, I want you to get off the chair like that and stop looking at them. Okay, you do not hump the edge of a chair

and rock back and forth while staring at the side of Dan's face. I don't look at it. I don't, I want you sitting in the chair like a lady. I'm here to protect you. Bobby, I didn't mean to throw a sister under a bus, but when she took video last week, it was 42 minutes, I'm like 42 minutes or what? It was Dan. I can Dan the whole time.

You're new sitting in the top of you face, tell her stories. I searched through 42 minutes of footage to find someone else. That's what fuck is going on. I was searching for a 3-4, but it's a 4-8 to find someone else. How the fuck is going on? I didn't know I'd do that, did I? I did. I know. That was so mean. So he makes the first one.

The first Iron Man is one of the best. Yeah, I have heard movies. That was an awesome movie. You know, but you know why? It's a movie. Yeah, I can fly. Yeah. Love that one.

But it's anchored by a great performance. It's modern. They address the whole what it might Get to be his bodyguard. That's fucking stupid and throw it out the window. It's it's awesome. The adventure thing at the end is Fantastic. I love that movie, but so then they say to him, all right, so make another one and he's like, okay, cool. They're like two years Motherfucker and he's like, what? He can't give me three. And the second one was rushed. It was sloppy. You know, they had to build their next.

Did he do the second one too? He did. And it wasn't as good. He knew it wasn't as good. And so he was like, all right, I'm out. And they tried, they tried cram and wait too many villains and stacking it on top of the other. But he had Sam Rockwell and Mickey Rourke.

Sam Rockwell was awesome. He was awesome. Mickey Rourke's. Sam Rockwell. He could have done it. Everything he did. Did you guys see seven psycho paths? That was that was a Yeah, I mean that's what they don't get about these movies is what they'll do is they'll say Though they'll announce when they're coming out before there's no way you're gonna defucking real us from superhero I'm not fucking Independent fucking thriller. But they, but they, but they,

but they'll announce when the movies coming out before the script is written. Like if you saw men in black three was so bad. Oh, they were writing the script as they were shooting it. And you can tell. But all right, so one, two and three, which is the worst? A fireman? Two.

I would say, I didn't like three. I would say three. I didn't like three at all. I would say three. I would say three. I didn't like three. I would say three because two of three me coming. Can I spoil that? Is that right? I don't give a fuck about that. That fucking spoiler. Hang on, spoiler. Go now, quick go. Let's give you one of the best actors of all time who's one Oscars and is fantastic and plays a chief villain and replace him with fire-breathing guy peers. Yeah. You can, if you're gonna swerve an audience, then what you replace has to be better than what you're taking out.

Now, here's what's exactly. My wife, who when it comes to this stuff, is dumb. She's a wife. Fucking, I don't get it. Bobby, what are they talkin' about? Was so mad that they fucking did that with Sir Ben Kingsley. It made me fucking angry. She was mad, she was like, she turned to me.

Are you fucking kidding me? I had so much invested in this fucking evil guy. I was so ready to find out his philosophy and to find where he came from why he hates people and i was and it was so into our culture and and terrorism and and how we could literally be taken out with the smallest of things the biggest of of of of countries can just be taken out with one little bomb

place in the right it was perfect for everything. Yeah, exactly what it is. It's an assholes. It's a re equated to wrestling terms. I'm a big risk if if macho man had been cutting promos on Hulk Hogan for three months and then Hogan fought Rick the model martellate wrestle man. Yeah. Like what? But I thought that can you make Sam Sam, can you make Sam understand that? Yeah, I watch wrestling in the wrestling. Yeah, but you know, like, like, cause- Sorry Sam.

The Mandarin. I was being funny, apparently you took offense to that. But the Mandarin videos, I don't know the other shatter them. Yeah, come up with something. But the Mandarin videos are literally these amazing wrestling promos. Yeah. The fortune cookies are an American invention and all that. And you're like, I and then when when fucking Tony

Looks in the camera goes. I'm gonna kick your ass. That's the movie I paid for yeah, yep Instead he fights a dude who was stood up on new years. Yeah, the fucking Val Comar Rio Genius haircut Perfect. It's fucking awful and then he breeds fire for no reason He doesn't once and he's like like, that's all I got. How about this though? Fucking penny pots. Yeah, pepper pots. She get, are you kidding me?

That this, she gets fucked up with this power that blows everybody up. And somehow she, she accepts it. Yeah. And she saves Iron Man. Go fuck yourself. Well, they kidnapped the fucking president and below bear force one and the Avengers are like,

no, this is Tony's battle. Let's just wait this one out. Yeah, where the fuck were the Avengers? That's the problem once you introduce that, then you kind of have to, that's the problem with continuity, then you're fucking fucked up. Well, here's the thing,

they could have fucking had at least one of them come in and Do something like dude. I gotta go. I'm I'm doing some shit in Brazil right now They just show Hawkeye's like I'm out of arrows and they could back tire I just so the you know So show Thor come in a guy you're right mate I don't know I was so mad at this one dude and then at the end with all the and they ruined his house The little kids here's the thing about the house to bug me Okay, the house just went into the ocean and roots grew up through the

Concrete already in a week. Yeah mother nature took over in a week bad root problem Yeah, they addressed that in the second movie and it tried to be a Christmas movie, but it wasn't. Like, I feel like Shane Black got to make the exact movie. He wanted, but Marvel also got to make the exact movie. They wanted and you get an unfinished product as a result. I think it's terrible. And I think, I can't, look at it. I'm gonna go see Thursday. I'm gonna see Superman.

And next week, I'm gonna give you my honest review, which is from a blue collar down to earth guy. A guy just like you guys the list this a guy from small bill not crypton you look at joh look how much fun jose having joe's resting his kind of chin on the microphone if you guys were talking about sports i'd be the same way well the fucking broan show

that was a good one uh... well by the time this comes out hopefully they're the Stanley Cup champions. Can you believe it? I mean, I don't get Boston. I mean, we went from one team doing it all the time. You guys have to be the eighth championship in 12 years. It's fucking stupid. Past 15 years, best sports city in America.

We're fucking, we're better than New York. Yeah. It's insane. It's time to close. It's time to close. You guys, it's insane. Yeah, more championship close. It's not even close You guys ages. It's outrageously unbelievably awesome He's have one championship. Next have none. It's more recent of none in the island of have none to it's more respectful The more respectful the way the B or the P or the B or the C

Then it is to where any of the and wise It's unbelievable. Yeah, all right unbelievable. Yeah, right. Listen, all right, guys, we'll listen. I think we've covered a lot of ground today. We've covered rape and comic books. I'm not saying it wasn't great. We covered very little ground. Rape and comic books. We've talked about two of the funnest things.

Yeah. Hey, I loved it. You can read identity crisis which is both uh... there you go ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha 28th I'll be at the Minneapolis House of Comedy Mall of America and then July 5th through the 8th. I will be at off the Hook Comedy Club in Marco Island, Florida. Oh, that's fun Eminem lives down the street from there. What he was He was building a house when I was last time. Marco Island Florida. Yeah, right down to whatever the town next door is really Eminem lives there Tell Captain Brian. I said hello. I will. He's a Boston guy. Yeah. His family's mother and father are great people. What do you got, Joe?

That same we can all be in Omaha, Nebraska, which is not far from Smallville if I'm not mistaken. I'd love to go there with you. I love Omaha. I would, well, I'd have to go with you, I think. Yeah, I know. That's it? Well, I mean, I have other dates,

but I thought that was enough to plug it that we had to keep moving i have to shit to make it seem like i'm not working sam what do you got there's a uh... i think the comedy zone july tenton eleven in a in a in road island so you know that's it i mean i don't know self-esteem but yeah why we all staking up for you you know

buddy we should have let you take a she ruined me Bobby We should have let you take a fall for the rest of us. I think I'm at like the stand and Gotham coming I don't know and the seller coming up. I don't know All right, what do you got Mike? My album came out a couple weeks ago on iTunes and Amazon What do you got Mike? My album came out a couple weeks ago on iTunes and Amazon sat a mantium love it and I will be in Seattle that laughs June 27th through the 29th and the Miami Supercon July 4th through the 7th in my hometown Miami, so I'm really excited. I get to interview George to Kay

And and three different power rangers, which is cool to me and probably nobody else. Um, all right. Good. I'm going to go see Superman on Thursday morning. Yeah. Uh, so I want you back on. We're going to talk about it. I wanted to bait you on this. Okay. All right. Good. Um, it's not a debate. If you agree, the whole time. That's true. That's not a debate. That's called the fucking master bait session So Kelly, what do you got? I'm just following the podcast. I got that. What do you got? I just got generic spots in the city which aren't anything rude when you got a fucking step it up I don't know Hopefully soon people stop adding my fucking

Stead up on the show. I think that day happened. That's when I'll start getting booked. So you're blaming Dan. No, no, it's a generic. Whenever someone comes on this, oh gosh, whenever someone comes on here and telling everyone how bad I am, you're not bad. Exactly. You're not good, girl. That's the problem. I'm very good. There you go. There you fucking go. We're trying to harden your shell little soft turtle Trying to get you to fucking believe in yourself. You're just trying to help my bad posture No, you should stand up for yourself and once you start believing in yourself Then you'll you'll you'll you'll you'll you'll you'll have more spots

Alright man, thank you so much for listening to the show. I am exhausted. I'm fucking tired. I'm not gonna be around next week. Kelly's gonna be doing it with, I don't know, I think it's Dan if he's around, but you know, say, you're fucking when you need him. He's not around. You're not gone on a Tuesday.

On Tuesday? No, you're not. I can't do it. You're you're not I can't do it. Tell us the you can't do a Tuesday. You can't take them off the poster You want off the poster? Huh? I'll put you don't face up with over you. I'll put Mike's face over you look like I'll put Mike's face You know, why did you use that as a punishment? Why was I a part of a guy have you looked in a mirror? No, you know hardwood for me how would to draw that beard? Why did you use that as a punishment? Why was I a part of a thought? Have you looked in a mirror? No.

You know, hardwood for me, how would draw that beard? I'm sorry, Mike. He drew Superman's Mollet. If you can draw Superman's Mollet, you can draw my beard. You really like this guy, huh? I love that guy. He did a Thorative Action, which is one of the best fantastic four storylines, and he was the dude who brought back

the Justice League in 97 with Grant Morrison and he did a great flash run with Jeff Johns, a love-powered porter. Awesome. I love him too. I fucking love him. These posters are going to be coming out soon for you guys to get along with the Beck poster. Do you know Beck? Yeah. Yeah. You know Beck? Comic book guy from Germany? Oh, I thought you meant right there. He did those. Look at those ones. Comic book guy from Germany. Oh, I thought you meant right there. He did those look at those ones Oh, that's awesome. It's great, right? Yeah We love him too. He's fucking great

We love you guys and we got stickers coming for you fans YKWD stickers For you glossy 4x4s. We're gonna be giving out at the show the posters the stickers I'm gonna be at the Foxwood show. So this is Ashley. And in Montreal with me, so if you're in Montreal, check it out. Make sure you buy your tickets now, go to JustForLafs.com and go Robert Kelly search

and buy your tickets for my shows. Write the fuck now, you and all your friends. I wanna sell this place out, or at least have at least 20 people, a show. That'd be good. And go to RobertKillerLlive.com for all my dates And make sure you go to riotcast.com and check out all the other shows Kelly, what are you doing you flipping me out either put your headphones down or put them on your fucking head?

I'm not ending until I end. I never know when that's gonna be well fucking you don't have to listen Keep going You don't have to listen keep going I fucking can stand it's like it's like doing a show with my wife Yeah, that that I don't get the fuck Jersey Jax and Davey Max sports program dream flooring teen wire sucking bed live from the table Come on. He's that a Bailey J who is fucking hot. I'm a fishing. I don't really care about having fishing We're in science as party hour, and we're in medicine. We took to stay. Love Dr. Steve.

So good. All right, here it is. Mike, thanks so much for coming in. Thanks, man. Sam, thanks for coming in and talking about that. I really, honestly, God was just going to fuck it. And let's just talk about whatever else. I don't have any, I really, I mean, I don't have topics

really on this show with whatever the fuck we talk about. We talk about, but I appreciate appreciate we want to talk about it But you know what it was good because I think everybody had a great perspective on it And you know whatever you know Email us at wkwd.com and let us know what you thought about today's show and Joe thanks for coming Dan. I'll see you later. Thank you, Bob. I love you guys. Kelly, I love you, honey.

Hi. And I like you a lot. Hi. And, Rob, thank you for being on InTurn for another week. For another week. No, yeah. And if you, yeah, for another week. And next week, I want a sundress on.

No panties for Dan. Woo! I'm kidding. I'll see you guys later. Thanks a lot. You know what's the idea? I think it's a very stinkin' stinkin' You know what the idea is?

I'm fucking, I'm fucking the bomb, I'm the bomb You know what the idea is? I'm gonna spit it a little bit more. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincindia aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás! ¡Wuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros! Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com