Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Heredital w/ Judy Gold and Sarah Tollemache

Episode Date: July 20, 2020

This episodes brought to you by Brooklinen.com! Use Promo Code: WHATDUDE to receive 10% off your order We're joined by comedian and Bushcraft Party Boy Sarah Tollemache to talk about her new album Voluptuous Boy, her husbands possible fantasies and how to celebrate your feet online, and then Judy Gold pops in to talk about her new book and to set the record straight on her Shane Gillis article! Follow @RobertKelly www.ykwdpodcast.com For advertising inquiries: [e-mail]  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Yeah baby, we're starting the podcast right now! We're back, you know what to do live. Welcome everybody to the show. YKW I started the social media podcast. The fact that YKW did podcasts. YKW did back again. Old school back in the day.

We're all starting before them all. YKW did a podcast is so fun and crazy. And there's no rules. Shut up, you're ruining this. Why can't I use these podcasts? It's so fun and crazy! And there's no rules! Shut up! You're ruining this! Break the ball, damn it! I'm sorry! It's a comedy podcast!

This is an NPR! That's the podcast done! Is there any better show? This is the original original! Yep, got to shut that mute off. Sometimes, maybe I said something crazy. Maybe I just said something that was going to cancel me. We'll never know. I could have said. You don't say it. But you don't know what I just said, do you? Anyways, what if some of this is an app that feels in the gaps? It's to fill in the gap, that. Um, my calta, calter and Kelly.

Yes, he's here. He's not queer or side queer. And, and we've learned that side queer. We came up with that from Joe and his love for that movie about the beach and a lot of guys. Yeah. He loves it. We bought a poster. I wish I could show you it. guys. Yeah. He loves it. We bought a poster. I wish I could show you it. He showed it to us. It was it was hot. Yeah. Sarah TallahMosh everybody. Gotta be Brian, Mike

Calder and the mush is here when we need him. And when he's not, go away. I let me try. Yeah, you want to try? Go ahead, Mike. You want to try. Go one, two, to try it, Mike? You want to try it? Go. One, two, three. That was awesome. You got to bring them back.

No, I don't. I'm back. Jesus, Mike. Gabby, you want to shot? No. All right. That's by the way. Glad you went to an improv class. No, and what are you not racist? What is that?

What is that mean? It looks like one giant titty bras hanging on the back of your door. What is that? This? Yeah, this is a laundry basket. Oh, that's actually my friend's house. This is not my house. Um, so I'm just kind of set up shop

in her room. That's actually where that is a giant douchebag. She went, where's that? The pretenties pregnant. When she really likes a guy, yeah, all right, it goes back. It looks small. Sorry, you look beautiful.

Thank you. I got a ring light. I'm freezing. Sarah, tons of beautiful. Thank you. I got a ring light. I'm freezing. Sarah. Sometimes the filters on right now. Sarah has a brand new album coming out. We are so proud of it. A laugh button live. It is coming out.

Mush will bring this up. I swear to God, he hasn't ready to go. And nope. Uh, I didn't just tell you. No, mush has it. Mush has the album ready to go. Of course he does. Why wouldn't he? He's fucking, you know, I mean, he knows, he knows you're on the show. He knows you got a new album out. Here we go. Musa. What's up, glamour shots. That's hot. I know. I mean, that is a great shot. Looks like you just dropped a rabbit in a fucking stew on somebody's kitchen. That's the look I was going for. I will not be ignored, Dan. I will not be ignored. Great movie. Better

than the movie about the gay guys on the beach or no. Yeah, that one too. I love, we'll fail attractions a great movie. I think it made every guy not cheat for about one week. And no, we cannot have rabbits in the house. Let's get a puppy. You know, I don't like how I had to think hanging on my microphone. Now you have a thing hanging on your microphone. Like, can I have one thing that's mine? You have the CNN camera, you look beautiful. And now you got to steal my Stephen Tyler microphone. Look, why are you what is wrong with you emotionally? You did this last night with the flip flops, too. You like flip flop. you get you get jealous.

What's wrong with you? What do you mean the flip flops? The thing, what is this? Why do I have everybody above me and below me? Mahmush. Mahmush. The way you see it isn't the way it gets broadcast. Your mother.

Wow. I have a speaker view. You hit speaker view. I did. Okay, there we go. Thank you much. Thanks for help. Flip flop. Can you bring up her album again real quick, please? I want to look at that. That has got to be like a great headshot. Did you? I mean, that is, you look great. It looks like a fucking, it looks like you have a great, like a single out right now. I do. Yeah, it's very Diana Ross. It's like, I took it two years ago and then I couldn't do any photos during COVID. So I had to use like an, you know, a photo from not recent.

So that was the best I could come up with. Are those pants around your neck? It's, yeah, it's like a jean jacket. It's a fake scarf. Yeah, it works. It works. You're like, I'm going to wrap the denim jacket around my throat and everybody's like, all right, but it looks good.

It looks fucking great. What is the album about? Uh, nothing. Clearly about Joe Lists. It's called great. What is the album about? Clearly about Joe lists. It's called The Lopsuit Boy. The Lopsuit Boy. That's the name of I have a joke on there that has the word The Lopsuit Boy. I was going to call it White Lady and then I was told it was too aggressive for these times. So I did change it. So I changed it to the last just boy. I would not call it white like. That was like Colin Quinn. I was talking in the last week

about you, you should you should pitch. You should pitch a show cop show again. He goes, yeah, that's just one thing. The show's called cop show. It's not going to fly.

I was like, oh, yeah, that's true. Coming up on Tuesday after white lady cop show. I know I felt like I would get hate because I was like, oh yeah, that's true. Coming up on Tuesday after White Lady, cop show. I know I felt like I would get hate because I was making fun of myself about, because I feel like all my problems fall under the umbrella of a White Lady.

So that's why I, and I make a joke about it. So I thought that would be fine. And then I guess out of context, people would think that it was too aggressive. Gabby got offended, she left. Yeah. Oh, well. Gabby got offended, she left.

Well, white ladies do get offended. So it would make sense that she would leave. Do you, you don't seem like you had offended that easy? No. Now? Not really. No, I don't think I do. I mean, I can't be more offended by something that's like hack. Then I would be, you know, sometimes I'm like, well, that's not even

a joke. That's the only time that I get offended of him. I don't understand where the joke format is. Right. I mean, example, I don't want to fall into that trap. I don't want to. For some reason, Sarah, even from the last time I I run which I thought you were awesome last time. For some reason I get a little nervous. Like I feel like I feel like for some reason you're going to go, I don't know what you're talking about. Like like and I'm going to feel like I said something wrong. I'm sorry. I don't know why it's me. It's me. It's me. No, I never do so.

I don't complain about my meals. I don't complain. You're going to be like, why is he here? I don't know. Why do you say it like that? Why do you say it like that? Accuracy, maybe. It's say, I'm not saying, it's sexy, though, you trail it off.

Or like, yeah, I'm doing your podcast. It's kind of hot. And I want to let you know that you it off, or like, yeah, I'm doing your podcast. It's kind of hot. And I want to let you know that she is also not only as an album, not only has, I mean, this amazing album out, she's also one of the newest members of Bushcraft Party Boys. She is Bushcraft Party Boys and one girl. I'm the one girl. I feel like it's time goes by that you guys can interchange the one

girl. Yeah, we're definitely kicking you out and going back to the regular thing. We eventually they'll kidnap a girl and bring her up there. That's the other way. Well, I was actually no, I mean, Sarah was great. It's fun. I had a lot of fun. We can't tell you the problem though. Can I tell you the problem? It's like one one day, like girls cats and the boy scouts. I want to, I want to be able to be fat and nut sweaty and all that. Now that even you're there, even though your Joe's chick,

it's still going to make me feel like, well, now I can't fucking pick my blacks. No smoke boogers out. I know you say no, but that's how I feel. It's on my, I already still pulled this cock out. This big huge ball and cock out. I'm literally going, Tara, I'm going through the photos with my family on the Apple TV mirroring it to the TV. It's a 65 inch TV. Oh, wow, what a, oh, wow, that's nice. And then just the picture of Ari's dick and balls out and Max and I've started cracking up. I'm like, no, terrible. He's just too comfortable with his, his dick. His dick looks like, his dick and balls, his balls look like one of those monkeys. You ever see those dick nose monkeys?

Yeah, the ones with the long nose and then like the ball chin, those monkeys. Yeah, let me look them up real quick, the Latin name is dick his noses monkeys. Yeah. You nailed it, Bobby. Dignos monkeys. I'm telling you dude.

As soon as I bring it up, you're gonna be like, oh, this is about the fuck I hit it right on the head. This is exactly, I got it as I bring it up. You're gonna be like, oh, this is about the fucker. They hit it right on the head. This is exactly, I got it ready, a motion. Sadly, I already know what it looks like. It's just, yeah. It was, it was exactly like, except the monkey's chin is too tight to look like. Yeah, go get that off motion.

Well, he's cool. I got one. I got one. So this is where the fuck is it? This is one. Oh, you motherfucker. Can't do it. Forget it. There we go.

Right. This that's that's what it looks like. Yeah. That's exactly what Ari sack looks like with his dick. Yeah. That's a dick. And these are his balls hanging down. And they have eyes. Sad eyes. Is it weird that I'm sorry? My balls. You're more comfortable with your balls? Yeah, like I'm not as comfortable with my like I already comfortable with both, but I'm hugely comfortable with my balls. Yeah, he is

un-fucking-believerly comfortable. But we had a great time and Sarah was awesome. Not even a just hung good time fucking and that was a great hike. How great was that hike? good time. Fuckin, and that was a great hike. How great was that hike? That's great. It was 40 minutes, the perfect amount of time with a cold swim at the end. Yes.

If it didn't have the swim, I think I would have been a little bit miserable. Oh, if it didn't have the swim, we would have fucking hated it. I think we're gonna do another one with another swim. Yeah. I think you have to do at least that way during the summer. It's too hot to walk that way. But you know why? Because we were, you can say whatever you want. Like I said, she doesn't get offended. Mike, we were talking some shit. Yeah. By the way, you're going to go

front of the swim after you had that bacteria living in your asshole and making your shit for three days. I wouldn't go in the water if I were you forever. I'm just not going to drink it. I accidentally peed in our water source and we turned out fine. So, oh, dude, it's so bad. I'm downriver. She's upriver. I didn't even say it.

I'm scooping water into my water filter, my beef free water filter. And she's, she's delivering just oat piss into the water. How are you, were you underwater? Were you doing it? Of course. Like, no, I was just being above it. She was, no. She's like, she's one of the guys.

I thought you just lifted your leg and spitted across the leg. Yeah, she actually put her, her index finger on her vagina and made it shoot from the side. I spread it open like I was in hustler. I'm coming on the next troop. Dude, I would love for you to come. I would love. Well, share my tent. I would love for you to come. I would love to share my tent. Bobby has double pillow heads on your sleeping mattress. Yeah, I have every accoutrement that you can possibly buy. I do. I have a sleeping pad that is a double sleeping pad that goes into my three-person tent

that has pillows built in. And now I have a half-inch yoga mat that goes under that. And I had a chair. I brought a chair, I bring everything. I brought a five-foot. You bring your seat, you bring your seat pad machine? I don't need one.

I bring my little Canadian snoring thing and I don't snore. Yeah, any snoring. No, in the snoring, do it. It actually keeps the animals away. It's because it's like this. Sounds like an angry. They can't identify what animal it is so they don't go near you. It stops everything in its tracks. And then Bobby's tent releases a smell that keeps the animals away. can't identify what animal it is so they don't go near you. It stops everything in its tracks. And then Bobby's tent releases a smell

that keeps the animals away. Oh God. Oh, I was shooting. Yeah, we, first of all, we had a cup of dicks for dinner. We just had, I just brought sausages. So these big fucking Italian sausages, and we just cooked them and we just put them in cups. I think Bobby showed me how he does a blow job with one of them. Yes.

I'm out of this. I'm out of this. Hang on a second. Now you got to keep your teeth. You got to keep your teeth down. Yeah. Oh, I did so much. Like a Gabby was like, that's true. I sucked it all the time. I go full granny. You can make my face cramp up if I go, you know what he mean? You can't talk.

What are you trying to lift up the teeth are there? I don't suck dick. I don't suck dick. I'm joking. Well, try. So if you're going to act it out, you know a little better. Apparently, you're the best one in this room right now. Yeah.

Your face hurts if you do it that the whole time. Why are you? So I've never wanted, I've never not wanted a blowjob before right now. That's the campaign I'm doing. I'm going to get every man not to want head one man in the time. Go for me. Hey, what do you think?

What do you think is worse? Well, you have to do it us or we have to do to you. Oh, in the like eating out department. Yeah, I mean, I'm all for it. But really, if you if you bring it down, we're, we're spinning in an open wound for an awful long amount of time. Where you guys just have to pretend you like it for like about eight minutes. I guess you're right.

Eight minutes. Well, if you do it, if you learn how to talk to a teacher, it's like a treadmill just feels longer. Sometimes you're like, I think I've been down there for an hour and then you're like, oh, it's only been like two. It's like we're gonna. That's funny. The sucks. Yeah, but I think he's right. Mike, you're right. We're down there for longer. And it's this,

I mean, we have to lick the stink off the thing. It's wet. It's wet. It gets wet. You can't get all the hair. So it's like a strawberry that's been out for a couple of days. It's just got enough little prickly hair on it. We're like, should I eat it?

Should I not eat it? And then, and then, and you're always being told, yes, yes, yes, no, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a good ride. Right. Whereas we're like good, you're good. You're good.

Six more minutes for good. Yeah, we don't say anything. We just go, gah, gah. It's just like a countdown. That's all it is. Yeah. Well, literally sometimes you could be like right about now.

It should be happening. If you, if you feel the emotion of the room, yeah. Again, that's on you. Makes it up a little bit. Flick the months every once in a while. You want to speed up the process. You got to work. Can I say something?

That's the only thing that I would make. I think what they do is a little worse is the nuts. Just having just fucking like old vagina saggy lips and just hanging there all the time. And you gotta kind of hold them every once in a while and it's just like, I mean, that must hold them. Hold them. It's not bad. I can't understand if you have a guy that wanted to lick him, that could get gruff.

I feel like, just holding your balls, is it like a bra or something? Does it make your balls feel better to like take the gravity off of them? No, it's just that area, that whole undercarriage area. Just take a little bit. There's something that, because it's never touched by anybody. So when somebody touches that part, it's like, it does go away.

Same does not go for the butthole. No, same does not go for the butthole. Okay, because a lot of people have been down there. Well, it's been tried before and I'm pretty open. So I was like, if I like it, I'd be like, shucks shit in there, I don't care. But I don't like it. It's just uncomfortable and I feel bad. It's not for everybody. I know it's probably probably like. We can't talk about the butthole, Gabby's here.

Yes, issues with talking about the butthole. What's your problem with butthole? Why do I have issues? What's part of you talking about? Well, you're fucking near it, you know, you're in a recession. Oh, yeah. So I just recently broke up with my boyfriend and he got very upset. What? I know he got very upset that I was talking about butt stuff on my Instagram live show every Wednesday

at 8 p.m. on the stands Instagram. If I knew you guys were talking about your butthole, I would start watching that show. Yeah. Why do you guys broke up? We broke up. Because of that. Because of many things, but that was a part of the Because of that. Because of many things, but that was a part of the business. That argument. Kind of. He seems kind of.

Yeah. He seems country. Do you think? What do you have to call him? You all have partners. I wanted to see what he looked like, and you were like, no, it isn't one of beyond these and artists.

Yeah, I'll fuck off. Wait, so here's my question. You all date people and are all of you are married. So what do you do talking about people in your standup? Like how do you do that? I guess Sarah, that's different because you were both comics. You do it and that's it.

Then the people that you're with should probably know that that's, well I'm on the radio and I'm talking about, so you'll exaggerate some stuff, but you know, that's it. That's just my father called me one day. My parents have been divorced since I was four and my father called me up and they goes, oh, you know, I'm not the biggest fan of your mother, but you can't be saying all it should about your mother and the air. I was like, what the fuck do you carry? You're not

even married to her. You just have to live a little with it. Can you do your father? I don't know. Oh, he's like a Russian hooker. Oh, my father looks like big pussy from the soprano. He sounds like a Russian hooker, even though he's full-sacely. Is she, you should have made your mother's, as a fucking mother. Well, I mean, I've only had dawn tell me not to do a couple things on stage, but I did them.

And I was like, listen, I go, do you like AC in the house? I go, I'm going to tell people, I'm going to tell people you suck my dick on a rock on our first day. I mean, for ice cream. Yeah, for ice cream. I mean, you know, it is what it is. I mean, you can't, you know, but it does take a certain person to love a comedian. You know what I mean? Hmm. So I feel bad because I was going to get a tattoo Mike. Now I'm not getting a tattoo.

I know you were going to reap the benefits. I'll buy you a new tattoo. So you don't have to get one from country. No but sex. However, that way he's mad. Yeah, I mean, he was messed up over that. And I'm like, it doesn't matter. Like I'm the one who's making, I'm making fun of myself, ultimately, you know? He was worried that you were gonna tell the world that he really like stuffed jammed up in there. That's why.

No, I'm not. Let me see your eyes. Look at my eyes and tell me he doesn't like stuffing his butt. He doesn't. Lies. I swear, I would say, that's the doesn't. Lies. I swear I would say that's the thing is I have no filter. I would just say it. Yeah, me too. Whatever. What's done is done. I mean, I mean, you enjoy red sex with another guy. Excuse me.

Have you enjoyed ever had a threesome? No. Would you with another guy? Should have bob, don't ruin this. I'm getting answers. I think Joe really wants to. By the way, I love him. And I love his fearlessness of talking about his homosexual desires. He would be so mad if I brought in another guy. What if you brought another guy, but the other guy didn't get to touch you really. Thank you just watched.

If you were like Joe, we're both going to suck your dick. What? What? No, like if you were like Joe, me and Renee Valenzuela are going to suck your dick together. I think Joe would be like, well, this is interesting. Okay, okay. Okay, okay. I guy or a girl? He's a guy. I think Joe would be like, well, this is interesting. Okay. Okay. Renée is Renee balance. Well, okay.

God. I guy Eric girl. He's a guy. He's a Hispanic man who enjoys. Renée. Listen, I'm trying to make it. I'm just saying that turns me on. I'm trying to make him slam the way. I'm saying he was. I'm complimenting.

I'm complimenting you. Picking Renee was a second choice. I think Joe. I don't know. I don't know. See, you would use your sidequeer. First of all, I like that we would bring diversity into our bedroom. That's really nice. That is pretty good for the white lady.

Yes, it is. Yes, I don't know if you would be into Renee. Is Val is the way? Well, okay. How about if it was, um, uh, Shaq Mendes, is that more a speed? Maybe a well, maybe one of his favorite sports players. Is that what they've atle, athletes?

Yeah, maybe this is late. Lebron. Lebron. Lebron. Any move. Lebron. Lebron. Maybe late late brown. Maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe

maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe

maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe

maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe You guys are, you're not too out of the, you're pretty normal sexually, you and Joe. Yeah. Yeah, you're just squares. We're fine. That's gonna change. That's gonna change either the good way or the bad way. What, what does that mean? What do you say?

I mean, I think that's the one way. I don't have to say, either the only way. I was speaking in riddle, say it. What are you doing? What are you in magician? What? What do you want, bridge troll?

Just say what you're trying to say. Come back. If you were to came up out of the bin so awesome, like Fonzie, I'm saying that I feel like after our last conversation with Joe that if you brought Renee or Cedric, whatever his name was home, Joe would be like, well, I didn't. This is interesting. Okay, let's try it. And he let's try it. And he would secretly love it. Yeah, I think that would be hard because that's my dad's name.

So I doubt Cedric would be hard. Yeah. Just saying, I, uh, as you know, or I think later on, we might find out that Joe is like, I think I might like guys a little like when Freddie Mercury had to tell his girlfriend. Yeah. And she's like, I always knew Freddie. He didn't listen. First of all, Freddie Mercury didn't have to tell anybody.

Okay. You think she was like, what? He met her in the girl's clothing so that she was working at. Yeah. Yeah. It's, I love you so much. Thank you, baby. Thank you, baby. Thank you so much.

What is that juice? Yeah, it's juice. I'm gonna fucking, she got me a recovering raccoon she found in the back. I used coffee you friggin woke fuck. Your twisted mind goes to recovering raccoon. Yeah. Listen, Gabby, can you stop

wearing negligence to this job? All right? Is this a dress? Well, stuff. I want in your size. What? I'm at a party.

What party? I'm at my friend's party. You brought it on microphone? Yeah, because I knew I was, I'm being a working mother and I knew that I had this. So I brought on my equipment and now I'm at the other side of the house working. You, you're working, you're being a working mother. Yeah. What does that mean? Means I'm just working at a party. She, she's doing it all. That's what it means. Exactly. You're working a party right now. No, no, I'm at a party.

And I've been at a party all day, and I know I had the podcast so I went into a bedroom, and now I'm doing the podcast right now. Now is this party called Small City Party? I have the smallest tips of this party by far. Oh my God.

And in this chatroom. I love that you've went into a separate room to podcast instead of to do below. It's depressing. Oh, lame. It's fucking lame. Hey, can we see some of the broads from this party? No. Some of the broads. Maybe if you said it better, Jesus Christ. Why hide it? He's going to see what they look like. Hey, hey, 1950, what's broadcaster? Why should get some of those broads from the party to get the biggest games and bring her in first. No.

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BrookLinon.com. Thanks back to the show. And we're back. Thank you so much for checking out. Make sure you support our sponsors because they support the show. And back to YKWD. You know what day? Okay Gabby, show us your, no, I'm kidding. No. No. And it is much like, it's once like joke about Gabby and say that she's high on it. If she ever did that, I think I'd be horrified because now you are clearly in daughter mode.

You know what I mean? Yeah, sure. I would never do that or even think about that. I mean, don't underestimate my ability to persuade. I'm just saying, if you ever did it voluntarily, I would like, ah, instead of love you. Right. One of the funniest things Gabby ever did is sell her underwear, her old underwear, the Lewis Gomez. I traded my period, my old period underwear to Lewis Gomez for a $400 projector. What? I mean, we were doing Yankee swap and he had a this great projector. And Gabby

was like, I want it. He was like, give me your underwear. Hey, she just went in the bathroom. Look off these old nummies. She had all like a disgusting week. A week. No. You wasn't even smart enough to be like, let me watch you take them off. That's I'm like a good deal. I was a genius. He got I would do it all the time. Let's do it now. Let's trade something out.

That'd be a great, that'd be a great reality show. Trade your underwear. I don't care. You I would, I don't even, I would have no problem just like doing images of my feet and guys jacking off to it. If it meant I got a lot of money to it. You know what I mean? Why don't you do that? You can do that now.

You don't have to tell anybody to you if it's just feet. I know. As long as you know, I don't have to see it, then it's fine. It's fine. I can't tell you. That's a great idea. If I was a girl, I'd be putting feet up every day. Yeah.

My old nanny told me she did that. She sold pictures of her feet online. I was like, are you getting good money for it? And she's like, yeah, I don't even ever see them. They just put it in my Venmo. I'm like, fuck it for you. Don't put it in any of these. Do you know what wiki feet is?

No, what is it? Wiki feet. I have a wiki feet page. Like people make off of social media, they make pages for people's feet. So I just found one day, someone sent me a link of a page of all pictures of my feet and my feet are voted very good and as all of us know, I have horrible feet. You have a fucking foot pain.

I don't know who made it. Probably one of your fans. I think I have one too. And they get it off your like social media. They look for feet photos. Yeah, I know his mega was named as Mike Micholi.

Mike, we swear. Can we? Can we? We like Mike. Can you, is there any way in the love of Earth you could bring up Gabby's foot page? Yeah, just put her name and then put with you and you should find it.

Yeah, I have splied our toes. Let's just leave it there. I want to see her monkey foot. Sorry, if you knew that you could do porn stuff, just by yourself, solo stuff, but it would only be shown like in New Zealand. Would you knew that you could do porn stuff, just by yourself, solo stuff, but it would only be shown like in New Zealand, would you do that? No, I just, I can't have a video of me doing sex or masturbating. Yeah.

Is it my weird toes? Are they really? Uh-oh. Who's in the chat? Those are good toes. I think I have one. I think I have one. Oh my God. Bring up Sarah. Uh-oh, who's in the chat? Those are good toes. I think I have one. Oh my God.

Bring up Sarah. Judy. Yeah. What? I just came on and I heard masturbating. That was it. You missed it. I bet Judy, if Judy has a wiki foot, there's a page called wiki feet.

Yeah. And the people of fans will take pictures of your feet off your social media. And Gabby has a Wiki foot. And this is Sarah's Wiki. Oh my God. Put them in way. Awesome. Please, Judy, Judy Gold, let her have one.

Let's see if if you have one. Oh my God, you, I hope there's a hundred. Oh my God. You got a lot. Let's go those feet. Right there. The bottom one, zoom on the bottom one, the last one, the last one. Oh, shut off.

Oh, God. There's so bad. Look at those fucking toes. I have hammer toes. Oh, my God. You can climb it through with those. I know. That thing goes over the fucking shit.

I know. I hate those fucking sand. Why do you have to pick that one, you motherfucker? Look at how you stuff that. Minds. What are you standing next to? Bed Middler, you fuckhead. And if he doesn't recover. Your feet have eclipse, Bed Middler you fuckhead Your feet have eclipse bed Middler

Fuck you What the fuck how how small is she? She's funny. She's six. She's one She's one. No. Oh, yeah, shut up. Yeah, there's so I am hate my feet. They're so bad now because I went to the doctor and you look good, Bobby.

Thank you, baby. Did you lose weight or you got tan? I did both. It's contour. Isn't he? I'm sure. Handsome contour. Isn't he just a cutest? I'm torn. No handsome. All right.

Anyway. Thank you, my friend. I had two in grown tone. Like, do you get in grown tone, else? I have one right now, and I'm a free dev surgery. No, don't. Like, I went to the doctor, right? And then they stick a needle in it, and they kill the the root and then they pull it out.

And now I have like a kind of a nail, it's like a V, it's horrible. Oh, I mean, I'm in pain. I mean, I never, I mean, my toes look like shit, but I don't care, I haven't had a fucking ingrown toenail in so long, I couldn't take it anymore. They're whole, I have to do it. I have two dead toenails.

Yeah, if you don't give a shit, what your toes look like, the nail, do it, then they're dead. The root, it doesn't grow there. My toe is sensitive to the touch. I drop the piece of paper on the other end, it's green. How do you get to that? But an ingrown toenail is from you not clipping your nails in town. No, it's let me say it again. Let me try again. An in grown toenail is hereditary, right? It's hereditary, right? It's hereditary. It's hereditary. I'm gonna fuck us that work. Ashtag up you have

try again. Spell it out again. That's something rich boss would say. Hereditary. Let me try ¡Spellas! ¡Que es algo que el rato de la voz se puede decir! ¡Que es el rato de la voz! ¡Que es el rato de la voz! ¡Que es el rato de la voz! ¡Que es el rato de la voz! ¡Que es el rato de la voz! ¡Que es el rato de la voz! ¡Que es el rato de la voz! ¡Que es el rato de la voz!

¡Que es el rato de la voz! ¡Que es el rato de la voz! ¡Que es el rato de la voz! ¡Que es el rato de la voz! ¡Que es el rato de la voz! ¡Que es el rato de la voz! ¡Que es el rato de la voz! ¡Que es el rato de la voz!

¡Que es el rato de la voz! ¡Que es el rato de la voz! ¡Que es el rato de la voz! ¡Que es el rato de la voz! ¡Que es el rato de la voz! ¡Que es el rato de la voz! ¡Que es el rato de la voz! ¡Que es el rato de la voz! ¡Que es el rato de la voz! ¡Que es el rato de la voz! ¡Que es el rato de la voz! ¡Que es el rato de la voz! ¡Que es el rato de la voz! ¡Que es el rato de la voz! ¡Que es el rato de la voz! ¡Que es el rato de la voz! ¡Que es el rato de la voz! La última estendencia es en botas, comodidad 10 de los desde 29 con 99. Daishman, mucho por andar. Where are you? Are you down on the...

I'm in the Cape. I'm in the Cape. Oh my god, you love the Cape, right? Oh my god. Where am I going to do? Go to my apartment, sit there and knock out, to do a set. What the fuck am I going to do? No, I love it. Why don't you invite me? Sorry, what's this? I'm sorry. Oh, is this my book coming out in two weeks? Oh, I'm sorry. What does it say? It says yes, I can say that when they come for the comedians, we're all

in trouble. Well, they just come and ask everybody. I know. Now, you know, what's this? There you go. Oh, let me tell you something. This, this like eating ourself like the fact that we're now attacking one another is not good. Well, you know, people

going to problem with you because you did that to Shane. Okay. You tell them tell them what you told me. I wrote an article because this is what I this was my intent. Okay. Shane Gillis was fired from SNL after this podcast of him using all this language. Now I listen to the podcast twice and I write in the article, he should be able to go do his stand-up, he's very funny, but when you work for a corporation, and it's not about

that. So you can't say, they were saying it was political correct as it was free speech. No, here's the deal. The deal is, if you're gonna talk like that, it has to be a really funny joke. And everyone needs to know that it's a joke. And don't be lazy with your material,

but also if you're gonna work for a fucking network, everything that's gonna come forward, but it was really a, trying to defend good comedy, and I got, you know, no Jews a fucking asshole for the, it wasn't political, it wasn't, what, I don't know, it just pissed me off that. Here's the thing though, I agree.

But I also agree in this. I always say, call the person, don't talk. I, my thing is, first of all, if you're funny, I told Mike this the other day. If you're funny, you should be nervous that they're going to cancel you. Right, you said that to me too. It's true.

I'm funny people. I'm funny people shouldn't, they just should sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure.

I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure.

I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure.

I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I you know it's out there. And you should also hope that the corporation that you work for that hired you because you were talented is going to stand up for you a little bit. Right. Yes, but they don't. And I think as comics now, especially now, we have to get behind each other. No matter what, because if you say, yeah, but here is different, then someone else is gonna do that. And then all of a sudden we're boxed in,

and there's so many fucking boundaries that we made. There can't be any. We can't throw a line of sand. You can't be at it. You have to be able to do, say, and try to find funny anywhere. That's it. And when somebody gets fucking douche, we have to get behind them.

And listen, not have to get behind them and listen, not say anything or call them up and go, they were trying to be funny, go fuck yourself. That's the end of it. And don't give it fuel. Because we give it fuel, because we all, we all want to fucking say something and be listened to and have people go, that's your fucking smart. That's great. Look at how many likes I got. Fuck off. We need to stay off Twitter, stay off social media, stop fucking trying to get people to be like that and just and support stand up.

That's it. Shut the fuck up. Because look it, we know what's happening. You're just saying, no. You know, if you're gonna use the language that Shane used, it's going to be fucking funny. It can't be gratuitous. You can't decide what's funny. He is.

I can just, what I think is funny. You can't. Right. I'm just saying it wasn't polished enough for that. That's what I was trying to say. It was not polished. Let me know if you could say that. You should be able to say whatever he wants.

But you know, but you want or fat and you hear not it wasn't finished material. I mean, I've been in this business since I'm 19 fucking years old. I know what a fucking joke is even if I don't think it's a funny joke, I will say all right, that I see, you know,

but if you was, yeah, all right, that I seem, you know, but if you- But he was, yeah. Look at, look at, I've been part of the most vicious fucked up shit I've ever said on Open Anthony. Listen, you know what I mean? And you can look at a lot of shit and be like, that's not funny. Yeah, but we were trying to get there. Right. We weren't trying to be, you think us, we were trying to say something, we were trying to get there. I've been on so many fucked up right, we were trying to get there.

We're trying to get to funny. And somebody said something that's like, and it's a breaks, I've been on so many podcasts with somebody, says something, we're like, what the fuck is wrong? What's that, I think oops, is that too far? Yeah, what the fuck is right. Was that a thing? Oops. Is that too far? Yeah. What the fuck? When Louis Gomez does the N word on real ass. Like, okay, I mean every

fucking week is like, hey, walks in my house and he uses the N word in front of my wife and kid. Like we're, you know, it's like, dude, settle down. Right? Give a fuck, you know? But I think but I like Shane. I do. I think he's funny and I liked him. Yeah, I know. I like him too, man. And you know what? I just think like even what happened

to Jessica, Jessica, this last week. I'm gonna take you, Lissia. It's like, you really think Jessica is a racist? I know. That video was so long ago, it's 2016. All right, that's about long ago. It's long ago. Well, when you're mind fucking age, it's not that. But to dig through things, that's four years of social media posts.

That's a shit ton of work to do. The whole thing, this whole fucking social media shit, that, you know, like I talk about Kevin Hart in the book. It's like, first of all, he can't host the Oscars for something he said 15 years ago, when he's already apologized. And all, you know, all you want is for people to evolve. And when they evolve, you're gonna bring the old shit up, like, no. Yeah, that's a good point. It's Kevin Hart, you can't fuck with them like that, but you also can't fuck with them for evolving.

Like a lot of them. Right, it's like, and the LGBT, your goal is to change and say, no, you need to evolve, you need to become this. And then when they become that, you're going to bring the old shit back. Yeah. It's very hypocritical. It's very twisted logic and it doesn't make sense. And you're not Howard Sterns and I'll fucking sit there and burp, okay?

It also wasn't a burp. It sounded something. I know, right? I mean, first of all, vagina buddies, I had been receiving. What does that mean? That means you have a vagina. She has a vagina. Your buddies because of it.

They stick together. That's the only way, yeah. I, uh-huh. They stick together? I have a lot of experience with vaginas. And they don't stick together, okay? No, we've clearly seen different girls. Well, I know what I'm doing.

Okay. Mine are slippery, okay? Mine are slutty. Slippery. Shut up. What are you doing? Shut up for it. I'm not going to be a slipper. Oh, shut up. Why am I, what are you talking about? Shut up for it.

It's my show you, motherfucker. Listen, listen. Yeah. I, uh, I just think that, you know, with even just the other comics, comics are going after her. Women comics.

I know. Hey, women comics are going after her. I love that she. I love she just sit on you for burping and she's munching chips. She's. Yeah. Do you ever have these? Good. Good. Yeah, they're the best. What does it go on? Chop sui, right?

I put it on my salad. I put on salad. Chow mein noodles. They're like little, oh, they're so fucking good. Yeah, you're supposed to put them on Chopsui. You have to have Chopsui? Yeah, Chopsui, baby. You look like you look like you do an impression of a Chinese guy right now with those glasses. Shut the fuck up. You look like you're being racist. I think you both have the same glasses. Where are your glasses? Yeah, Bobby. Yeah, Bobby. I'm more more.

Yeah, but her glasses on. Bobby, put your glasses on. Hers and killers. Yeah. I'm just sexy. I'm a asshole. Yeah, yours are, yours are. Same exact thing. Same, but except minor yours are same exact thing.

Same for the point of except minor, minor way more designer. You're, you're as a fucking thick as shit. Shut up. You can fucking save a boat with those glasses.

Mr. and Mrs. McGoo fighting over their nerd glasses. Wait, do you need them to see like these are you are reading, and when I drive, it's bifocal. So, bifocal, that is so 1950. What are you talking about? You're 1950. What is wrong with that?

Making hum hum hum. So now, listen, I got a question for you. A side all this, of course shit, okay? I'm gonna get back to your book. Sarah's got a brand new album coming out. Your book is out. You guys are fucking kicking ass. My book is not out yet, but whatever.

Like I said, it's coming out. It's on pre-order. We're gonna get it soon. And but you're down to Cape Cod. Are you going in the water. I know there's sharks. Yes, that we have the thing called shark tibetit and you can see where the sharks are. See she lives

among nature. It's possible. I love the ocean and you actually yesterday I stood along swim in the bay. Why you nuts? Uh huh. I love the ocean. And actually yesterday I stood along swimming the bay. Are you nuts? You went in the bay, who the fuck goes in a bay? You know what?

It's beautiful here. People just went in the bay. Yeah, fucking crazy people swim in the fucking bay. First of all, the sharks, okay, I'm gonna show you something real quick. Just, just so you understand what you're doing. Just so you understand what the hell you are doing, okay? This, okay, this, not that. Wait, this is not, what is this?

This is Cape Cod. These are all the shark sightings. Yeah, but that from what day? Yesterday. Where I am, I'm over here. I'm over here. I'm over here. You swim from one end to the other.

Same where it says, I'm in Providence Town. Right here. No, the other one. I'm here. I think the Providence Town, and then you see how it curves around. Yeah. So I swim over there where the little... Did you ever notice province town looks like a dildo

with a little ass play over here? Oh, I know know it's bad. What the fuck is wrong with you? Look at this tag-grade white shark name Miss May ping off of, are you fucking July? Are you nuts? July 31st, that's last year and this is 2019. No. As whatever. I told you about that. I told you about that. There are nothing sharks recently. So, there's no shark by by there's no shark attacks. They're just sharks. They live in the fucking water. What do you know? I want to get killed last year. How the nobody listens to you. You have a fucking alligator living

in your backyard. Didn't attack anybody. I'm afraid of those. Gators are scarier because they hold on to you and drown you and then you look dumb while you're drowning. Is it like you're just like a spaz in the water while your friends watch you die? Way more fun. Sorry, if you don't write that down, I'll fucking shoot you in your face. You're like, oh, what is happening? One animals, you rather get killed by. An alligator is the worst.

She just rolls it around. You know what else they have here? Coyotes. So this this couple had their dog at the beach like their new puppy at the beach and a coyote came and took the fucking puppy and ate it in front of them. Oh yeah. They didn't try to defend it.

They didn't try to stay. Wow, I didn't. What are they gonna do? Then they killed the coyote. Bring into action, that's their dog. You got the dog. Well they ran, they ran, and then they ended up like the next day finding the coyote and killing the coyote,

and then the coyote, and then all the lezzies are like, what can you do if they killed the coyote? Ooh, you know like, with poor coyote, I'm like, I can't take it anymore. I can't. Oh, the lezzies. You know, like the animal right lezzies, like, oh, don't kill that bug.

Shut the fuck up. Oh, I feel like Judy's never not mad. I know it's bad. I can't. Who Who you most man at? Wow, that's bad. Right now. Y'all, let's start there. I hate that motherfucker so much. I fucking hate him and I hate McConnell and I fucking I hate fucking I hate. Oh, I fucking hate that one. Who are you talking about, Trump? Oh, God. That's, I mean, please, Mike, please.

It's been three years. Four years of hate, before. Mike, can we not fucking bring this up? We're talking about animal deaths. Now she's going to go on Trump, and now she's going to be miserable in smash a land. I don't need it. Don't trigger fucking left-wing lesbian on the show.

I mean, that should be a rule, OK? I would. We don't talk about kitty porn, and we don't on the show. I mean, that should be a rule, okay? We don't talk about kitty porn, and we don't trigger the fucking, we don't bring up Trump in front of a fucking lesbian. I didn't bring him up. I didn't bring him up. I didn't, I didn't.

I know, but you brought up who she's mad at. Who do you think? I hate Ted Cruz, fuck them. Who do you think she's mad at, Mike? She's a comedian lesbian in her 50s. A comedian lesbian? That's what I am. Whatever.

Whatever. Stop being so terrible. It's a comedian lesbian. I hope I'm gonna vote for Trump, cuz of you. How's that? Hey, Judy, don't be mad at him. It's her at it all. Yeah.

Oh, is that how you go here, fucking terrible? man it emits her at it all. Yeah. Her. Ah. Ah. Oh, is that how you go here, fucking turn him in? Oh, fuck off. Oh, fuck off. Oh, fuck off. So it's gotta be funny on the show. Oh, yes.

Woo! Have a look at those guns. I just worked out, baby. What'd you do? You know, I usually play tennis every day, but today I went, I did spinning, and then I did the TRX thing, where you, you know, the ropes thing.

Yeah. Look, I was getting so depressed over the quarantine with the not being able to work out. And I was going on hikes, and I just want to fucking kill myself. And you seem nice now. You seem like you have it together. I know really. Thank you.

Yes, yeah, I'm performing here. I'm performing here too. When when say nights, I do a show with Varelo Jean Merman, who is a very, very high end drag queen. Sounds delicious. Far. And then Monday night, I do a solo show. It's outside. Mike said sounds delicious. I was. I was I know you Marlin eight on toast and

the Marlin Jean Merman. She is so fucking talented. She gets she sells out every night. She's been around forever. Why now does she look like me or does she look like a you know? She's about. Oh my God, I gotta show you a picture. So she is, she was a trained opera singer.

So she's like, she sings, you know, she's so fucking brilliant. Anyway, she's now a circuit. Wait, I'll show you a picture, ready? You're gonna die. What's your name again? Far-le-gainer. Far-le-gainer a G. Marmelaid.

Merman. Well, you got a damn son of a bitch. Get fucking here, I'll show you. Was afraid of Sarah now, I'm afraid of Judy. I know. I'm not even afraid of Sarah anymore. Okay, this is Farletine Murman. Okay.

I'm gonna just show you a photo. Yeah, I'm only just bra, I got it. Okay. There she is. Okay, that's her, right? Now I'm gonna just show you a photo. Yeah, I'm only just, I got it. Okay. There she is. Okay, that's her, right? Now I'm gonna show you. You sure that's not fucking Billy Burr? Okay, and then here's Jeff.

Here, it's Jeff, really. That's... Oh, it's Jeff, let me see. Ready? You ready? Oh, this. Yeah, I'm ready. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Wait, so keep that on.

All right, wait, wait, show me, show me Jeff. Ready? Hey, Sarri, I'm going to bring this one home. Okay. Joey, you can fold you up. Here we go. Okay. Yeah.

Wait, no, that's a bad picture. Wait, just a fucking wait, shut the fuck up. Just show your fucking hands. I don't know where, you You don't fucking have any support. I'm honest husband saying, and his husband saying it's all his husband's death. What's his name? To wit.

Wait, I'll show you. To wit. Okay, here he is with his husband. He's wearing the baseball cap in this photo. For a lot. Okay, let's see it. Yeah. Whoa.

Wow. Wow. That's been impressive. He didn't look very old. That is impressive. I mean, he is fucking built like and hairy. Now, let me ask you question. How do you get the little boobies there?

Shadows. It's shit. They buy him. He buys him. I mean, he's so talented. In the shirtless photo, he has man pegs. And this one, he has lady breasts. Yeah. That's what we're confused about. That's a bunch of old straight. They're fake. That's makeup and then fake tips. That's even more impressive. Yeah, they're making it. But you know what? Now that he's let his hair grow

and he's all hairy, he wears an outfit up to his neck. When he sings, when she sings the opera, is it high or is it low? Yeah, well, you know, as she's getting older, her voice is getting deeper. So yeah. And she would do that she's fit. That's him.

That's hilarious. That's him now. Yeah. So he's gonna wear a sombrero. Yeah, see he wears the, he's gonna wear a poncho on a sombrota. And the character is fucking brilliant. It's it's really yeah.

I'm gonna be hairy. Yeah, it's on his back. Oh my god, it's so hairy. I'm like, oh my god, so- Why wouldn't he shave that? Why wouldn't he bring that down? I guess him and his boyfriend are hairy. Oh, he can't afford the plumbing. Oh, my god.

Nothing? You know why he's hairy? It's hereditary-al. Ha! She got you. I hope you get bit by a shark in the bay. I hope you, I do. What if that happens?

What if that happens? And I, and you're like, oh my God. It would be great if you were being the leg, and you lost one leg, and you swam to shore. And then when you got this story, you were like, well, I lost my leg, but at least I'm alive, then a fucking coyote came and ate your neck. Yeah.

Eat your neck. Yeah. I thought you were my fucking side, Mike. I am, no, I'm saying I hope that doesn't happen to you. Shut up. I thought he was on my side too. Mike's not nobody's side. Oh my God.

That's hilarious. That's incredible. I got it, it looks like a... I might be a little jerk off of that. Whoa, it's like a... It's really? Dude, you can't jerk off, he has a fucking anchor tattoo that would make you dick go down.

You just go like that. You put your hands on. That's so, man, that is amazing though, right? I mean, it's so funny because he walks down the street. No one knows it's Marla, you know what I mean? No. But it's funny because I've known him forever and the kids always, you know what I mean? No. Um, but it's funny because I've known him forever and the kids always, you know, they know you can't call

a drag queen by their non-drag name when they're in drag. Yeah, that's like my kid. Batman Bruce Wayne when you're seeing him. Don't fuck it up. But Henry used to do it on purpose. Be like, hi, Jeff. And like, it was like, shh. Now, you've been going down to

P town for a long time. Yes, I have. I've never been. I grew up in Boston. Are you fucking? You would love it here. I've never been ever because my, you know, I grew up Irish Catholic family.

You know, you don't go to P town. That's not what you go. It's so straight now. It's so fucking horrible. Well, back then it was. It's like what you go. What's happening? It's so straight now, it's so fucking horrible. Well, back then it was. It's like we wanted equality and now it's like get out. What is P-tone? Provinced town.

Provinced town. It's an old, you know, it was for artists and it's very, it was for gay, actually gay bankers from Boston who were married, you know, they would come here and it's, you know, a lot of Robert Motherwell, there's so many artists and playwrights and authors. And it's so beautiful because the sun sets on the way the sun sets on the bay and the ocean, you see what like in that little air,

it's the colors are like nowhere else in the world. Plus they have like these bike trails through the do, it's like it's the colors are like nowhere else in the world. Plus they have like these bike trails through the do it's like it's it's beautiful. But then you know we wanted equality so now it's like straight it get out. You can't say that every other beach on the Cape. You can't say that because they can't say to you you can't say. to you. You can't say it to you. I know. It's just annoying. It was so much better when we were marginalized. So what are they doing? They were in doctors? Like what are they doing? Oh, yeah. They come in and that lot of

a today, today I went grocery shopping and there was a van. And it had a Trump, it said Trump made, keep America great. And then, do you know, you know, I'm gonna give you, you know, you don't know Tony Kushner. Do you, he wrote Angels in America? He's one full year. Yeah, yeah. He's so full of shit. I do, I know.

For Matt Black, I can Boston. So I see him coming out of the store. He's a, you know, pull it surprise more. Anyway, I see him come Tony, I see him coming out of the store with his groceries. So I'm like Tony, hi. And I point to the truck, various. He's parked right next to the truck with the trunk.

And I go, what the fuck? And he's like, what should we do? Because he's like, I wanna do something. He usually, he's walking the store, I'll go throw a dog shit in or whatever. And I walk over, and there's a girl in the back seat of the truck, and I go, oh my God, I didn't know

someone was in here. Are you to know a human being? Could think you could believe it. And I was like, we wanna blow your truck up because we hate Trump. No. Oh, okay. Uh- blow your truck up because we hate Trump. No. Oh, okay. Uh-huh.

Did you say that? Yeah. And the straight people are the problem. Yeah, the straight mic. But it's like people come here and they start taking pictures of all the drag queens. Like, you know, it's just annoying. It's like, oh.

Yeah, but it's fucking interesting. The drag queens are interesting. and they want to be noticed. And they want to be seen, don't they? Don't they? Yeah, they want people. That's why straight people. That's why straight people. It's just that I used to go to the beach, right?

If you don't like the water, dress like Mike. When people used to come here, not you. From all over the world, so they could be out, that they could walk down the street holding hands. Right. Because they couldn't do it where they were from. And you'd go to the beach,

and the beach was designated. It was like lesbians with their fucking dogs, and then it was lesbians, then it was lesbian and gay men together, then it was gay men, and then it was anal, right? And everyone, and there was different sections of the beach and everyone would be like, but it was all gay

and we all felt safe. And there was something special about, oh my God, here we are, taking a break from being, you know, in the closet and stuff. And now that's gone. Well, you wanted it gone. You wanted to, who don't you? I know, I hate it.

I hate it. Nobody cares about gay people anymore. We don't be gay. Stop the other off. No, take a shot. No cares. Yeah, we don't care. Your parade is just a parade now. No, we bring families. Kids. It's fun. People still got I mean.

You know, kids are still kicked out of their homes and trans kids are horrible. What's going on with them? What trans kids? What's going on with them? What trans kids? What's going on with trans kids? They're having a great time. Hello, they're being killed. They're, um, trans people are really being treated like shit. Can I tell you I have it, I have a 13 year old son and there's a couple of, he's

in his grade school. There were a couple of boys who were out. There was a trans kid and I'm just talking specifically about his school but I'm glad that my generation of my son didn't give a shit, doesn't it? Not at all, could get some of that. Not at all, I mean, they're really don't care. I mean, it's not even odd to them. I know, my kid has had trans people that is birthday party.

That's personal life. My kid has had trans people that is birthday party. Doesn't last. Russell line. No, it ain't. Doesn't get any actually knows. He's like, why does that boy want to dress like a girl? It's because he identifies with the girl. He's like, oh, he knows that. He doesn't care.

I know. It's cool. I mean, the next generation, this generation that's coming up is not going to give us what you are sexually. You know, this is not like a glossier fucking dinner. I know. One gender and one sexuality, yeah.

Now does that bother you though that you guys, I mean, like. There's a thing missing that like, you know, that there's a little bit of you're just you're just regular regular. Yeah. Okay. It's like, let's straight. Yeah. Let's negotiate it.

We'll give you back to village. We'll give you hate as per and we'll give you the village. Those will be just your areas to go to and we'll give you we'll give you a province town. Okay. And province town. You can have a province town back. As you bring a straight friend if you want to but they have to get you get what we get a quarter of show business back.

We're allowed to make three off-color jokes. Yeah, we get and we get to use Side Queer and half a bag. Well, that's too much. I get to call only straight friends of mine, half a bag and Side Queer. And that's it. We want that back. Is that cool?

But it can't be about sexuality. It can be only like when they admit that they love Devil Wars product. Right. And you can say it. That's fucking movie. I love that movie. Yeah, it's incredible.

I just got a text message from Kevin Brennan. Who wants to take odds that it's terrible or it's good? It's not going to be good. It's not going to be bad. Terrible or regular bad? I'm going to go on a limb and say he's saying goodbye. Oh, he know what he wants to hear. He wants to hear our show yesterday with Chad.

I knew it was scheduled. He, huh? I knew it was going to be Zeymock related. What'd you say? I can't hear you much. He said he knew it was Chad related. Oh, all right. What are you going to scream? I can't hear you much. He said he knew what was Chad related. All right, what are you going to scream? I can hear you.

No one has a problem hearing you, Jimmy. Wait, who's Chad? Zuma, right? Yeah. Sarah, what's that picture behind you? The black and white one? No, the red and red. I got it in Texas. I love it. I'm not sure if you can

get a look at the black and white one. No, the red and red. It's I got it in Texas. I love it. It looks like Joe. It's $10,000. No, it's like 30. You don't know what it's like, Joe? It does look like Joe. I think that's what we got it. No,

no. That's hilarious. So centered to feel like Joe has a self portrait of himself in the bedroom. It's the only way he can come if he looks at it. Ironically, too. So Sarah, you have a beautiful brand new album out. Yes, July 21st. The Lepstuous boy. The Lepshua's boy. The Lepshua's boy. It's on. That's a great photo of you. Thank you. It's you can

preorder it. I think on iTunes. You can listen to it for free on Pandora and it will drop so funny that we use that word on July 21st. It feels so do she like my album drops Tuesday, July 21st. Very excited to have you on the label. I'm going for a Grammy. Did you guys know that?

I do know that. How come I'm not on your fucking label, Robert? I know because you're attitude right now, maybe. I don't know. You're screaming at me. What else? I would love you on the label. Yeah. And Judy has a book coming out very shortly called. Yes, I can say that when they come for the comedians, we're all in trouble. Yes, I can say. I

think you're going to love the book. It really, it's it., yeah, you're gonna love it. Who did the cover? Harper Collins people, I don't know. Five year old. Shut your fucking jealous, her red ittle mouth. Also, we skipped over Sarah's podcast with the Indian Appaluchie. It's one of the best podcasts out there. It is. What about Judy Gold's podcast? Yeah, what I'm not much. Why would you just don't say that?

Let me say it. Yeah, I got a good podcast. I love Adrian's tail. She's great. Judy's gonna fucking bitch about it. No one. Judy Gold's podcast. I support my sisters. Let me yell angrily at you. I'm ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha fucking love you kill me now. We had a get rid of the news. We got rid of the news. Of course she did. What? But you have so hard to get with everything. You have to get rid of it. You just got rid of it. Yep.

I wasn't able to get booked again. Yes, I can say that when they come for the comedians, we're all in trouble. You can say that, but you can't show it, apparently. All right, there you go. You got a book coming out, make sure you get a book. I'm going to read it. You're going to send me a copy and you want me to buy it.

Oh, no, let me send it to you. And then I won't make any money. Okay. It's written. You're going to love it. Oh, you're going to say. You're going to say. A lot of history of stand up in it.

There's a lot of history of censorship and stand up. Well, you've been around for a while. So you understand you've been around for a while, so you understand you you've seen the what? She was going to say it's written at your level. You'll enjoy it. You know the year I did my first comedy set. When 82 81

81 81. Oh my God. I was I think I was just about to go to jail for the first time in 81. I was I think I was just about to go to jail for the first time in 1819 80 Bucking wow one that's crazy I know well you guys want to stick around I have the names to read every the question every we're gonna ask her after the names okay we have the names and then we have to Should I do a glasses or no glasses? Glasses. Glasses.

I should I do a Patreon? No. Yeah. What do I do? What do you do? It's too much work. Let's do a course right now on Patreon.

Shut the fuck up. Call me later, asshole. I'll help you. I'll help you. I'll help you. I'll help you. I'll help you. I'll help you.

I'll help you. I'll help you. I'll help you. Let's do a course right now on Patreon. Shut the fuck up. Call me later, asshole. I'll help you. Are you ready? Yes. All right, here we go. I want to thank everybody that joins Patreon. You guys are the best fans in the world.

We give you 24 shows a month for the price of a cup of coffee. Five bucks. And you get 24 shows. Me and Mike Calter and Keller here every night, six nights a week with the jerk off party on Saturday night, we let the fans come in. You know what, dude, podcast. This show is one of the longest running podcasts in the fucking business.

Of course, live from the shed. We're shooting new episodes in August. And also, Tech Talk with Bobby and Friends, now that the beaver fever is over, I will be releasing the Tech Audio, Tech Talk with Bobby and Friends on the PAL audio microphones, that my favorite gadget of the year so far.

Here we go, I want to thank you guys by reading the names. Ryan Kenny. Ryan Gallagher. Kenny musician. Yeah, nailed it. Rulion. Jeremy Schmidt. Thomas Covefahan. Kevin, I know, you fucking idiot.

Dan Rocco, Gerald Gussby. Golfby, Gerard. Gerard Gussby, you fuck. This is so stressful. Your love is our eye. You can't read. It's not about seeing. Travis Boyington. I want to thank you, Baba Travis.

You are a $25 a month. We get audio. You get a sticker. You make sure you mail mush. What's the email mush? Why could you do it at gmail.com? You have the enthusiasm of a fucking tennis racket. Okay. You have the enthusiasm of a fucking tennis racket. Okay. You have a lot of female female followers. That's great. You're a

track. Shareholder. Peter. Peter Barolalsco. Boreaco. Oh, it was in Josh. Nice. Oh, man. This next one really throw you off.

John Kevahana. It's Kevin. Oh man, this next one really throw you off. John Kevahana. It's Kevin Havana. Fucking ad-idiot. And you just said it five earlier. Yeah. Cheryl Bringo. Rickano.

Oh my god. I can't. I want to thank. I'm sorry. Thank everybody. My glass is a little dirty. I want to thank all you new members. Thank you so much. thank you. I'm sorry. Thank everybody. My glass is a little dirty. I want to thank all you new members.

Thank you so much for donating and being part of this. And we love you so much. Hey, check it out. We also, we're going to end the show on this. Masha's dead. Sad. Yeah. I'm not sure. What's your status? Judy, we always ask our guests this question. And I don't want you to think too much about it.

If you had to, gun to your head, we understand you wouldn't. But if you had to, you had no choice. Which one would you pick? I'll lady Marmalade. Which one would you pick? Mike or me to be with sexually. Otty. Boom. Boom.

The confidence. Boom. Shoeshoes. Sing, funk. Boom. Oh. Beauty. Oh boy, this is hard. I mean, not like men. I'm not going to make camping.

I love. I don't know. I mean, Bob, we would be laughing so much. Um, Bobby's camping setup. So you can't be perfect. I mean, Mike's voice is

fucking so hot. Oh, magical. Yeah, it is magical. But you know sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, you're the only, I love, I love the way you, I can't wait to read your new book, Judy. You should have audio, but for her. Thanks for coming on. This is really hard.

Uh, thank you coming on the show. Thanks for coming on the show. We call and Quinn. I feel like Mike would be better in bed. Thank you. Wow. You are a fucking motherfucker.

I think you're a pseudo genious. What's the score? I don't know. I think I love Bob. But he's like my brother. Right. Mike Mike got one yesterday. I don't believe Sarah either. I don't believe you. I think you're I think

Sarah knew what her feelings where you find it more every time you pull this. Sarah, I'm saying you don't have heard her feelings. Sarah you fucking hoist you. Every time you pull this, it doesn't matter. You don't have to hurt our feelings. Sarah, look me right in the eye and say it again. Look at me in the eyes and say it again. You really between the two.

You can't do that. You know, you leave women. You can already, you can have it, Bobby. But I just want to know for my heart. I'm not saying I can have it. I don't want it. It's my. I'm fucking this up.

Sarah, look at me. Let's be honest. You guys are going to hate me, but I thought you, I thought yours, when you said Mike and, or you, I was thinking, I thought Mike mush. That's so mean. I love Mike mush. Who doesn't? Wait a minute.

That's why she answered. Mike mush is such a great guy. It's a fight. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm not. Call to. Now that we've written a quick stop for a second, Mike. She answered my question. Such a great guy. So fine. But I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Now, now, now that we've really put it to the link. It's up for a second, Mike. So, okay, Judy, which one would you pick? Mush on me. Don't fucking do that to me. Exactly. Fuck you.

You know how it is. No offense much. What's the way? I mean, I love much. I feel like this is too that to me. Exactly. Fuck you. You know how it is. No offense much. Let's go ahead. I mean, I love much. I feel like this is too short for me. He's quiet. Sorry, which one? Mike Calda or me?

God. Oh, don't put me. What can we try to buy? I'm making face to be able to get out of the way. Oh, don't fall. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't.

I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I's talented. And Mike has hair. I do. Look at this. He has a goatee. He's so cute, Bobby. Look at my skin. Look at my skin. I'll stick to Bobby. I'm going to stick with Bobby. Wow. Thank you, Sarah. I still don't believe it. I didn't even hurt my heart because I don't believe it. Doesn't matter what you believe. No one cares what you believe.

Look, you got the big lesbian. You got the big fucking lesbian so yeah thank you and I'm very proud that's gonna be for you yeah I got really I got I got the petite lesbian but Judy how tall are you I'm just tired oh I'm six three so it worked out perfectly oh I knew I picked right yeah you guys you guys could 60 and 90's lead. Yeah, I can still throw you around. Yeah, it'd be like two super heroes fighting. Yeah, I told you, son, is your son tall? My son was 5'11, 13.

Yeah, my son's 6'8. Oh, this is like a date. He's going to be 19 and on this. We're bringing it over here. We're bringing it all for two Lane. We're breed warriors. Who gave you the gizm? McCale? There's a lot of guys from Boston laughing at that joke right now. Yeah, that's great. I listen, you

fucking Jeff. I was gonna get canceled for, but listen. Paul Thuring Kelly, patreon.com, says Robert Kelly, if you are a fan of the YKWD and you're watching this on YouTube, you've got to go join right now. patreon.com, slash Robert Kelly, me and my cult, every night we do this.

Seven to eight. It's pathetic. Saturday night we do this. Seven to eight. That's pathetic. Saturday night we do this, the jerk off party. What did you say? I didn't. Is it his pathetic?

This is a second job. I'm not going to tell you how to do Patreon. I was kidding. I love it. Doesn't matter. Fuck you. I'm going to make a book about my much already told me he would tell me

he would show me he would show me. Like much. Bush. Bush, you're not showing or anything. That's he is. Because we have our own relationship about this. Much. If you show this, if you show this tall fucking asshole, anything, I, I will fucking fight

you. It's not my DMs. I'll got you. You want me to show in a shite of you fucking piece of shit? He don't got you. I love you. I love you. You want to show on your shit? Either you fucking piece of shit. You don't got you. I love you. I love you so much. I love you. Sarah, I like you a lot. I'm kidding. I love Sarah.

I love you too. Congratulations on both you on your book on your new album. Gabby, thanks for hookin' the show up and being here and being part of the show. Even the lighting, the sun went down and you're dumb party. We can't see you anymore.

There you go. Please wear a rubber with anybody you hate revenge fucking tonight at this party. Okay. You're going to a party? I'm at a party right now. I'm a white mass party. No way. She came in this room to do coke and she popped on the line.

Yeah, I thought I jumped in. You're at a party with people? I'm fully at a party. I'm at my best friend's party in her bedroom. Hey, go bring the party. I mean, go bring the party. Like seven. Go bring the broth for Judy now.

What? Go bring the broths in for Judy. It's all gay men. So bring them in for Bobby. Is that the most boobs there? Exactly. All right. Well, listen, Mike, tomorrow night, we are back.

Yeah. And we got some great guests this week. So I'm very excited. What? We have Shane Gillis coming on tomorrow night. No, I don't know who it is. Who's coming on this week, Mike? Moosh.

Tim Dylan. Tim Dylan. Love Tim Dylan. He's killing it on Twitter. Makes me laugh smart as a whip and funny. Always try to eat me. Love Trump. Love Trump.

Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump.

Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. Love Trump. That's true. Stop throwing dog shit at people's cars because they believe different. I didn't. But that's a classless lying piece of shit. Yeah, it doesn't matter. You can say that, but don't act on it. Yaluna thick.

You're mother fucker. Yeah, make a go to a pottery class. Get your anger out. I can ask you. I'm, I'm, we'll see you guys tomorrow night. Mush, what do you got? Follow me on Instagram at MikeFeeSWorraz, follow Gabbie at Gabbie as Brian. That's right. And you know what? And you guys are the best fans of the world. We'll see you next week. You know what, then? And listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs.

Shitty jobs. Shitty jobs.