Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Hives Know No Color

Episode Date: January 25, 2016

This week on YKWD We have Yamaneika Saunders, Kurt Metzger and Stavros Halkias! Bobby's worried about bringing his kid on a flight. We discover Yamaneika's greatest fear. Plus Dan Soder and Rich Vos swing by as well! Watch/Listen and enjoy!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night. Con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 grados. ¿Yor listening to Robert Kelly's? ¿Y no lo sé? ¡On the Riotcast Network!

Riotcast.com. ¡Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth! ¿Es que es una costa? ¡Aspac it's no rules. I'm gonna go to the mic asshole. I'm sure I've already said should I regret it? Can I get a mic? No!

What the fuck? That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down and yapping. And sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's 10 no topics, no directions. I love doing it. Way both sides of the coin. That's how it all holds the stars. You love doing it sides of the coin

My podcast is popular I might affect somebody's life. You never know What Can't not like that song What? Come on. Can't not like that song. Jammin'. Can't not look at that. Fuck it. Can't not like that. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Some fat fucking long neck bass. Don't dump, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

What's up? We're here another episode. Fucking Jesus Christ. Why do I, why do I do it? What, just in general? It's not like, you know, the guys who do this, all the time getting fucking $10 million a week. Literally, fucking thousands and thousands of dollars. 10 million dollars a week?

That dude, thousands of dollars. Literally what you'd make in your whole comedy career. They're gonna get a week. Not a week, I'd say in your whole comedy career. They're making a week. Not a week, I'd say a month. Like honestly, a month and a- Yeah. Like a week would be- Two months if I'm having a good year.

Damn it. That's all right, dude. You're getting there. Things might change very soon. And I make songs up now because I have a kid. And it's easy to do and some day soon I'll have money from you. See how that works?

That was good. Thanks. For me, I ain't got shit. That was for the camera. Speaking of ain't got shit. Yamanika is here. Yes. What's up, baby?

How you doing? I'm good. I've been running like a raggedy hang all day. Really? Just non-stop. You tired? I'm very tired. I'm currently on a tour with Tracy Morgan and filming the

Meredith Vera show. Two shows a day. Flying. I did my own podcast today. Did a spot. Now I'm here. So. Jesus Christ.

The only thing that's keeping me up is a vegan burrito. And if you look at me, you know about vegan, it's really keeping me together, but I'm trying it. Are you, why are you trying that? You know, because I, I'm at the last stop. I got, what white lady got you into that? I said my, my Filipino friend is heavily into being vegan, and she's a vegan fitness model.

Where was it at, Filipino? Never. Oh, they have very fat faces. Sorry, Filipino. Very fat. My neighbor. My neighbor. My neighbor. My neighbor.

My neighbor. My neighbor. My neighbor. My neighbor. My neighbor. My neighbor. My neighbor. My neighbor. My good. That I know for real. How do you know that? I stuck my finger in and let him squeeze. Wait a minute, wait a minute.

This is back in the day. Okay, back when you were exploring. No, I was, I've never explored, but you know, girl, girl, what can I do? How can I tell you, I'm too, I'm too into myself to be with a woman. Like I'm too much like, I'm the most amazing thing. I can't be with another woman, but you know, girls do that.

I don't know of all girls, but you know, you know know, it still doesn't sound like something I'm familiar with. What do you mean? Like a pussy test? Yeah. Like the equivalent of me touching Scobo's dick to see how big it is. Well, yeah, I guess. Okay. I've never done that by the way. You might want to do a tight test with his ass because guys' asses are supposed to be tight. So you would check that asses. Yeah. It is tight. It is pretty tight. I'd lose that test. I haven't had tight, it is pretty tight. I'd lose that test. Yeah. That's so much, I have had so much ass play. I watched my ass from the inside out.

I literally opened it up like a dolphin hole. Just stick a scrunchy in there. Rinse it out. Yeah, dude, I fucking, it's my poor ass hole. No way I says Lucy, that Ari she fears. He put it on the legion of Skanks. He has a tight hole. He has a tight release asshole.

It looks like a pussy. Oh my god. First of all, move over there a little bit, get on camera. There you go. Sorry. It looks like a second layer of skin around his asshole. Is he? He's got ass hole lips.

Sorry. Am I with camera? My back is looking real fat today. No, you look fat. I do. Yeah, you look fat. Okay, sure. Sure, sure. I would look good. Yeah, I do. Okay, sure. Sure, sure.

I wish you looked like. Yeah. So I look thin. There you go. The vegans just like, oh, but I still got my beat on from this morning. Yeah, you look good, babe. Oh, yeah. There we go.

There you go. Nice lips. Thank you. Is that because that perverted to say that? No, I have a full makeup from this morning. So it's lasting. Oh, nice. That's the testament to my makeup artist.

Oh, let me ask you question. Did you say he has a put why I already should fear has been thin since I know them. Why does he have a pussy? He hemorrhoids and he never got him like checked out and they just like made his ass look like shit like a pussy What happened with did they die like grapes? I mean, I never really got into it with him. Why would you take a look? I'm sorry, buddy. You look at you look at a guy's ass You finish that conversation with him. Why would you? Did you take a look though? That sounds good. You look at a guy's asshole. But no, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I have my finger in the pussy asshole. See how tight it is. That makes you want to look at look at my asshole How do you do what you want to call it series of mirrors I think yeah? For most people it's just one mirror, but if you're a little bigger. I think any more mirror That's one technology like old technology would come and hit like a Xerox machine Yeah, yeah, fucking perfect right now. Well, how about this? Just the yeah, I would just say just phone You know Skype your self your ass off sky that with a selfie stick just behind you. No, you don't think so. Now that's like one of those Lufa sponges on a stick Yeah, exactly. You don't think they work. No, they don't work in your asshole

I saw my ass all today because I have like a pimple or something Morning grown hair like you do right by my asshole What and I was like I was feeling it about scratching my ass last night. Oh, what is that and then this morning I was like, oh, I gotta check that out and it was I think it's a pit I took a mirror and I just Every in every help you spread your ass cheeks apart What you say I was about to say every intern on this show has asked problems. He's got his Kelly had hers I had I've had it a Fisher in the past really yeah, I have a

Situated meeting it. You have anything wrong with you. I have a roi I think Wow, I've won Roy that's the coolest way I've heard people talk about him. Roy's I got a roi baby Yeah, I want to let you know though. You're on like a really nice morning show or afternoon show, right? I don't want you to fucking just be tired. I don't want to take advantage of you because you're tired and you I'm not tired at all. I'm very awake I'm very awake. I know how to be awake when I need to be. And I don't worry about the daytime shit. I become the true nigga I need to be.

Because the daytime is like all of this shit. I was good segue. Happy Martin Luther King. And I didn't post anything about it. Somebody got very upset. I haven't had a chance to post. And they were like, how come you're on television? You're not posting about Martin Luther King. I'm like, motherfucker, everybody know about more fucking Martin Luther King. Okay. I ain't had a chance to close and they're like, how come you're on television, you're not posting about Martin Luther King? I'm like, my fucker, everybody know about Martin Luther King.

Okay, I ain't the first motherfucker. If I'm introducing you to Martin Luther King, you failed and his dream has died. Right, sure. I'm just keeping it real. This is true, so you have a roid. I think I'm a roid, I mean, I don't know this. Not the digress.

I'm watching Dris, Iber, high fiber, and I'm getting it from like, satan and stuff like that because I'm doing Iber high fiber and I'm getting it from like Satan and stuff like that because I'm not I'm doing like a vegan kind of thing So there's been some episodes and I'm breaking on and hives to from the stress I think it's stress. I'm gonna go. I haven't I don't know how to see a doctor, but I have like hives Stress hive. Are you still a stressed out? Bob I'm a thousand percent stressed out, but not like I'm happy, but it's just I don't have any time to rest.

So I'm not getting a full night's sleep. So it's like by the time I lay down, I gotta get right back up. You don't wanna get you the mic you lie on the couch and do the show? Um, man. The way I lie down is a little bit of a sin. Everybody else?

What is the way? Hang on, you fucking little minion stuff. I'm interested in that. Well, it's not sexy at all because I have sleep apnea, so I have to plug up into a machine. Okay. And that's mostly why I just can't lie down. This is my last leg.

You have to sleep like the elephant man. I have to sleep, yeah, I have to be propped up behind my two my cats, propped up on both sides and the machine Get the lay in your back. Um, I can lay on my side, but that sometimes the you know, it's really sexy when I'm trying to fuck If I fall asleep, I don't want to Maybe give me good dick and I'm like, ah, I can't go to sleep unless I got this mask on my hand So knows damn. Oh good for you. I got I have a I got it first of all the zit on your butt is from shaving your asshole. No, it's I think it's anger on hair That's from shaving your ass. What was the last time you shaved your ass? Oh last time Bailey J was here

That's a shoe mail Dude you shaved your asshole. I've nared it. Yeah, that's, yeah. So. Why were you doing that? Because you notice there's too much hair there. Just for aesthetic reasons. Yeah. You need the hair there. It actually stops a lot of bacteria from ending into your body.

The hair is necessary. Yeah, but if you want to dig in it, it's really a juicer. So very cosmetic. All right. Why would you just go and row it to the side? I should. That's a good look.

Well, like, like a white man, like a white fighter's hair. Yeah, exactly. Have you ever popped something and like just seen it? My grandmother had a wicked blackhead on her back like five years ago. And I'm like grossed out by, I have friends that like these pimple videos where you call those. Oh, those are fucking awesome. I hate those.

But she had a blackhead that was so intense. When I went in and started digging and that sucker a whole nigger came out. I probably said it was just digging. Because she was like, I think I saw my back in itches. And it was a whole better point guard. I was really, really bad. Earl Boykins was in her back.

Yeah, they shot a free throw. He was all the game on the games. I call the black head. Yeah, that Jesus Christ. We'd gonna be on the game. I'm gonna be on the game. I'm gonna be on the game. I'm gonna be on the game. I'm gonna be on the game. I'm gonna be on the game. I'm gonna be on the game. I'm gonna be on the game.

I'm gonna be on the game. I'm gonna be on the game. I'm gonna be on the game. I'm gonna be on the game. I'm gonna be on the game. I'm gonna be on the game. I'm gonna be on the game. I'm gonna be on the game.

I'm gonna be on the game. I'm gonna be on the game. I'm gonna be on the game. I'm gonna be on the game. I'm gonna be on the game. I'm gonna be on the game. I'm gonna be on the game. I'm gonna be on the game. I'm gonna be on the game. I'm gonna be on the game. I'm gonna be on the game. I used to throw up a lot easier than I do now,

number one, because I'm a kid. And you see so much fucking nutty shit from the second he comes out of a vage and a fucking shit ball, fucking swaps out of your wife's butt. You know, fucking, you have to cut the cord and all the garbage, whatever. But you kinda get desensitized to that stuff. So, but they call it zit porn

Oh, I hate that stuff and it's really big right now There's actually a doctor who pops it's and she has a porn site that It gets it's like phenomenal how many they they're banging on pop and zits people it's not porn with a jerk and off to it They're not jerking off to it. It's if they call it zit porn You know like food porn, yeah, right? So but people cannot not watch this I hate that shit dude. It's all I get it because it's like it's it's it's It's remarkable that there can be this little hole of this pimple and then you squeeze it and underneath in your body is all this fucking

White pus and it smells and it's oh god, I don't want to eat So please stop I know dude I throw up I throw too, but Fuck I've seen some of it's tricked me and it's just like they pull it out and there's been like hairs and shit and like blood and growing hairs. Oh my god, I can't. Yeah, that's why. Why would anybody, how is she allowed to do that?

She's a doctor, that's what she's supposed to do it. But why, post the video, I don't know. I don't know, yeah, I don't know. She's probably got some million hits. No, I have friends who watch this shit. Yeah. And it's the worst when you come into a video, they're like, look at this and it's already like, I saw one, this guy had a gourd or something on his neck.

Oh no. The way they were, it was squirting out like a nerf gun. And I mean, I was wickedly sick. It was, you know, the sickest thing I ever saw in life was my grandfather, my grandmother was sitting on the porch one day, having lemonade. Now, if you see two black people on the porch have lemonade run the other way, right? Okay, they were having lemonade and my grandmother goes to my grandfather's nose goes

I think I think you have something she starts pushing up his nose and all of these like white Things come out of his nose. I went and I showered like a rape victim I felt so dirty. I couldn't drink lemonade for tea. He is. He is. For years. I got, I shaved my balls. I shaved my balls.

That seems too much to involve. I do it once in a while. I trim them up. What else? Special occasions. I got this trimmer, a shower trimmer. There's a lot of them. You got a trimmer for someone's better.

I trim it up. I trim it up. But what happens when you trim it, and you're not using a great razor, and I didn't, I used one of these fucking cheap, they say they're nice, but you use them in the shower, and they trim your wrist, and that, and I used that on my nuts,

and I got an in-grown hair as it. Oh, fuck. And it's a nightmare, because you have a pimple on your sack. Yeah. And at my age, it's like, oh, I'm dying of cancer. Yeah. I'm dead age, it's like, oh, I'm dying of cancer. Yeah. I'm dead. I'm dead.

I'm dead. I gotta get my nuts cut off. I'm fucked. And then, you know, and then you gotta have your wife, it's like, honey, it's the point where it's like, honey, this is, you know, remember the guy that fucking used to fuck you outside and hold your hair and make you suck as dick was driving down fucking 95 now that you seem like positive attributes by the way I used to be fucking cool hey can you look at my nut I think I have an in-broad hair I'm dying of

cancer you're Jewish now you go to jail you know when I get old I turn I'm I want to turn you to make it over that's good yeah it's it's it's look it is what it off. I wanna turn it off. I wanna turn it off. I wanna turn it off. That's a good one. Yeah, it's, it's, look, it is what it is. You get these little nuggets. I've never, I have no desire to shape a ball. You do, you don't use.

I was gonna say you never got anything on your butthole. No, I don't have never had any. You have no Royz. I told you, you might have Royz. I don't know. You're shitting ribbons. You're shitting ribbons, it's sure. You definitely have Royz.

Yeah, you think so? You're shitting you, Veyden. Oh, is it a neat thing? It's not that, it's that he's shitting ribbon candy. Yeah, you can stand there. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so what do you mean? What do you mean you're understanding? I have black Easter's.

We have ribbon candy all the time. I see. You were just commenting on the candy. Yeah. You know, you know the description I'm talking about. Yeah, I do. Yeah, so that means you have something blocking your ruins. I mean, your asshole. You should come out like you have something blocking your ruins. I mean your asshole

You should she come out like a tube not ribbons. It'd be nice if it was. Yeah, so you have a you have a nice Roy up there. Does it hurt? We have to you shit sometimes every once in a while. Well, if you have a nice cleanse How do I do that? Juicing cleanse just juice just juice for a week. I'm on this I'm doing this thing right now with Kumar. Oh my god. Come on shit. Fuck. I'm doing this. Look at me um, um, um, um, oh my god, come on shit. Fuck, I'm doing the thing. Look at that, me for, I have no idea. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come the drink can get it's a you can get sinnery can butcher that's what there's a campfire fuck the bitch I know about

but you should do that I've been doing the can butcher for yeah that was the shit's looking oh it's great yeah yeah and one week I'm down five pounds so you know but I'm also watching what you're also going to be getting you to stand out fucking nuts that is you shit out five pounds of shit. That was just hanging out. Hang it on. Like just hanging out. I nuts to me that you have five pounds of shit in your body.

Isn't that the story about John Wayne, how his whole, like, it was just dead from all the like red meat he was eating, you're just like all over his colon, you had like 10 pounds of something of just... I mean, it could be, we're not gonna fact check it. It's over. Fuck, it's over there. Fuck, I don't have the time to. I mean, it was, I mean, that's what it was. So there you go.

Okay, there you go. I have no fucking idea. All right, did it. Oh, you're gonna fact check that? Is it Clint Eastwood or John Wayne? John Wayne. Clint Eastwood's alive. Fuck.

He probably has the same thing. Well, they are cowboys. I'm John Wayne. You know what impressions good when you have to say the name at the end of it? Yeah, because. Yeah, that sounded like any white guy is so much. Anymore. You're on the show in the morning.

Yeah, it's the morning, right? Yes, it's. Well, it depends. It's indicated. So it's it's two o'clock here. It's you want? Yes, it's the morning. Oh, I see. One depends on syndicated. So it's two o'clock here. It's one o'clock someplace. It's two o'clock someplace is 11, whatever. So, okay, so you're on the show and it's basically like the view, right?

Oh, do you have a guy on there? No, we have a guy on there. And it's the different. Is the guy gay or straight? It's Lance Bass from the same name. Oh, yeah, then you're at the view. And... Well, you know, the difference. It's actually a better view. And the difference between us and the view, I mean, much respect to the view is the

narrative of the era show. So we come on and do topics for about 30 minutes and then she carries the rest of the show. So with the view, they kind of all work together. That's a smart idea. You know why? Because it too many cooks fucking spoil the broth and it's true. The view they can become fucking just you know, screaming

over each other almost like this podcast. Oh, we get not in for that all the time. Yeah, they change it up every couple of years. They have a new cast in the view. Well, because they fucking want to be eating each other's guts because you know they have this viewer that view and they're all the alpha females and you need to have her and be you come on do your thing right Lance does his thing yeah whoever else does their thing yeah and then they all right cool great you're a great part of the show but it's my fucking show I'm going off to do this now that see you later I think that's a great I've never seen the show and actually like it she's the she was on the today show. Yes, she replaced what's her name? Um, not a Katy cover. Katy card and then she went on. Didn't she go on to something else

after that? She did want to be a millionaire before she there you go. Yeah. So and she's the sweetest woman and I like that this is her vehicle and that we're just a part of it because honestly, I'm not Daytime like Why bitches in the midwinter? Me and my fuck that's awesome Mary L I just know it's just a whole thing. They tweet about me and they fucking write letters But they don't understand that at least ten Jews have signed my contract for the next couple of weeks So you want for two weeks? but they don't understand that at least 10 Jews have signed my contract for the next couple of weeks. So.

You want for two weeks? No, no, I'm like, too, but I mean, we're after the season is done. You're done? We're done. Why? I don't know what I can say. It wasn't a bad, it wasn't a bad thing.

It's just, she's Lance Bass fucked her husband. No, no, no, no, no. Well, you know, the thing about daytime television in general, like she's really, she's very interested in being a person of the people. So she does a lot of special interests, she really cares. So I think sometimes in daytime, people really want, you know, the ra ra ra ra ra ra. And she's, you know, she's a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a,, you know, she's a, a, a, a, a, a claim journalist and, you know, a very professional woman, very sweet woman. So, you know, she

was giving a great show. It's a great, a great show. I'm very proud of being on it. But, you know, the time is what it is. And we're all kind of going off to do, you know, whatever we have to do. I can't keep having white women in the Midwest, write me fucking letters. Like I'm fucking 12. You fucking kidding me? Oh yeah. And they're actually writing letters? They're writing letters. I didn't even know the post office was still a thing.

I didn't even change my mail when I moved. They come in every morning with two big canvas bags for her. Yeah, a hate mail. Just four letters of land best. I can't. Well, you know, the thing about it is I've never, number one, the good thing about it is I'm a comic. And when you're a comic doing anything,

you can just be you. I'm not worrying about playing any games. I'm not worrying about appeasing to this crowd or doing that. I'm just doing my shit. You like what I do, you don't like what I'm doing. I'm just gonna tell you the honest of God truth because I do it on stage all the time.

So I think it's a little jarring when you have, see, when you see black women normally on television and that capacity kind of like, well you know, and saying the PC thing and I'm always saying the thing that's, and everybody's fucking mine. And I'm not gonna be PC about it. So it's like, well who the fuck is this nigga?

Up here in a little mob print club, fucking up my shit and the hood shit. And I don't wanna hear her shit. You know, I've had a woman say the sheet hopes that somebody rapes me. Jesus. Because I was against guns. And she's like, you know, get it.

One day, I can't wait for somebody to try to rape you. And I was like, first of all, lady, good luck with that because ain't nobody ever tried to rape me. I'm a little offended by it, actually. And fuck you. So, but you can't say it all the time, fuck you. Well, you're saying on here. Yeah, you're saying on here yeah you say

it on here I'm not just side track anything but my producers getting too comfortable he's actually doing well on the show where is he you fucking moat what said he was on his way he'd be hearing in one minute get on it I just talked to him well let me fucking know I'm the the fourth wall here. I'm breaking I'm look right at the camera Scobo's a fucking moron Okay, I'm dumbed Eloise and burr rattled So guys God you're just a worse Yapping scope, but you always have those three minutes after you had that one good one

He didn't yell at you. Oh, no, those are the highlight those are the days It's not bad. This is kind of nice Paul Lauren are you know the other producer the show or whatever. I don't know. What do you call her? Lauren, okay Scobo's not pleased with her getting a producer Oh I love it I got it But I took it right away because I saw her as eyebrows I just got that fucking sit on his ass off

There's more in his fucking killing it More in came in with a fucking book that she made that says YKWD in Laminate Oh shit This fucking idiot's been here for four years I haven't got a note I got my note pad open I got all note pad open.

I got all the things down there. He is the fucking, Dama, he has no... Literally could have his own show. I mean, literally could have took this away from me and said, I got it. I don't wanna just fade into fuck away. But I'm gonna stay here, nine o'clock at a fucking Sub-Zero night

coming from Westchester, left my fucking kid. Cause fuckhead doesn't have one fucking ambitious bone in his fucking body So anyways Lauren is home who has what's up with Lauren? She's kidney stones. Oh, geez. Oh my god. What do you get those from I? Totally guys got those I mean Yeah, Lauren Nice pocket I mean, Joe, yeah, let's learn it. I forget. Oh, God. Why? My pussy's big.

Yeah, it's your asshole. Very painful process. Yeah, she's got to pass it tonight. But here's a good part. We're going to get to keep it and we're going to put it up on the show. I'm hoping it's massive. I know, but they're little minute stones. It's not going to be, yeah, it's not like a gallblad.

A gallstones are fucking huge. Gallstones can be really big, and they have to cut those out, I think. And they're actually really pretty. Gallstones. Yeah, my cousin, who my uncle Jimmy's daughter, she's an actress, and in LA, literally that side of the fucking darling pool got the jeans.

I mean, she looks nothing like it. It's hilarious. Yeah, she's just a. I mean she looks nothing like that's hilarious. Yeah she's just a just I mean she's an 11. She sings, she dances, she acts and uh and uh she had ghost stones but she showed me a picture of him. I'm like those look like like gems. Like I think I went fucking hunting for those in North Carolina. Are you sure they're not just hers or beautiful? Yeah, I go to you fucking do you have unicorn? I don't understand. Gal stones if you if you Google image Gal stones They're some of them are real pretty and they turn black I guess, but it's uh, I wanted why I wanted to make like a necklace or earrings with them I wanted I wanted to make like a necklace or earrings with them The just your Etsy store

You know what I wish I could produce something like that Goldstone call something beautiful Well, maybe someday you can we don't know it's wrong. Yeah, well, there's a lot of shit wrong with me Well physically you have the have what, you have hives. I have hives. Because you're nervous, you get stress. Yeah, maybe it's like nerves of stress. I don't know, look at that. Look at that hives. I think that's called leprosy.

No, sir. Actually, can you just like leave right now? No, no, no. Can you not touch my tail? It's not, I've been checked out by a doctor. Well, what the fuck, let you leave? Yeah, because it's not anything that they, I have to go through other than,

what the fuck? What the fuck? No one. Let me see you. What the fuck are you gonna do with that? I get so nervous that I'm missing stuff all the time. That, you know what I'm saying? I have so much stress in my phone's off,

because I'm like constantly out there be on my calendar. Yeah, I'm a, what do you, what do you think you're missing? I don't know something I've had you got a TV show You're on a TV show you're a standard comedian. Yeah, what else you get something else your own podcast No, I'm podcast and then what else you get something else? I'm gonna make sure my uterus is working. No, that's not it. Oh, I feel like this is what would you do with your life? I'm missing God is this this one stressing you out right this is what would you do with your life? I'm missing God. Is this what's stressing you out right now that what you don't have you missing? I just moved also.

From where? So I moved from one side of Harlem to the other side of Harlem. And... Why'd you do that? Because the one... It was to me why people coming into the other side that I was on. Really? Yeah.

I went to my building one day, it was all Dominican, and then one day I went, it was five little white kids playing Like really In the lobby area on like I'm the fuck out of here No, no, not for me You're a reverse gentrifier Moving to the brown constantly constantly. Is there a liquor store around here that tells Lucy's?

Yeah, I like the lift here. I mean, I really want to live a while. Honestly, I grew up in the suburbs of Maryland. Oh, shit, I'm from Baltimore. Oh, God. We got a bond. We were careful. But I was born in Baltimore, but I was raised in Aberdeen.

Oh, shit. So it's like, for me, I want to see, and I was raised in Aberdeen. Oh shit. It's like for me I want to see is my and I went to all white school So I like to see brown as much as I can because I didn't have it So I you know, maybe I'll regret it. I don't know, but have you ever been with a white guy? Tried you've never been with a white I've tried what the fuck is tried me, you know, why did it not happen? I have to just get used to the color of the penis I've tried what the fuck is this? What's the thing to try me? You know, why did it not happen? I have to just get used to the color of the penis. What do you mean?

What the fuck is that? It's too white. Can you just close your eyes and see if you're in it? Can't you just put it in your vagina and not look at it? Put on a brown condom, put on a color head. You just put on a black condom. That's, you'll be good to go. Just stick it in a cake.

I'll have to, it's gonna be so long. It took me so long. Hang on one second, this is the first. You'll be good to go stick it in a cake Hang on one second. This is the shocking This is the bomb band down I'm actually we if you say something that sucks you get this and it's right here I you know, I just I it took me a long time to get used to penis in general. A really? And, yeah, I was, I was a late bloomer. And, you know, I just kinda, I think whoever I would have started with probably would have been.

So if I had started with a white guy, probably would have been- Right. With a white guy? Consistently doing that, but I started with, I mean, like, elephant trunk. And it was, it wasn't so much like an elephant trunk. It was like, I got one of those weird ones that curved to the spine. I hadn't really seen Peele's before.

I got a curve, I had to call my girlfriend. Yeah, I guess it was like, I hope that that happened. Yeah, and I was like, it is supposed to be. Hers curved out of, like a brand. Like a brand. Yours curved out of freakishness.

Yeah, it's absolutely. Yeah, yours is better. Are you pocketing one or the other? Why, I'm going up left, up into the left a little bit. But that's good. I don't think it matters what size your penis is. If you have a upswing, it's because it hits. Yeah, I watched the porn one time.

The guy didn't have a big dick, but his dick turned up, and it was giving girls the most intense orgasms they ever had in life. Did you, that's little dick propaganda right there? Where is he? It's a block away. Thank you. Would you fucking porn fucking anecdote? I don't is he? It's a block away. Thank you. Would you fucking porn fucking? And a goat.

That's the only good one you want to hang out with, buddy. Hey, here's a deal. This is weird that she says this because. Do you have a penis here for me? No? No, I'd love to see you fucking prank went out right now. I just got your titt these just fuck me up. I'm sorry.

You did shake them yourself. Oh, sorry. No, I, I didn't know. I'll tell you why, because I was very, this weekend. Well, yeah, we, there was a lot, for some reason, there was a lot of girls at my show this weekend. There was, yeah. I don't, I don't, I don't, I used to get chicks at my show

when I was, you know, little thin bobby, but this,, you know, but this weekend there was a lot of good looking women came out to the casino over comics and I had stopped baby and we actually hung out at the bar and there was some girls that came up and they started talking to us and they were fucking really pretty girls. And the one girl who was talking, actually said that one I just got my first big dick and I'm never going back. She was like fuck little dicks. She was like mad that she was with little dicks like her like she didn't know it was almost like she didn't know big dicks like it was like a myth and then she got one's like they have big dicks.

It probably was a regular side because you know. No, we saw it. It was huge because a big, I'm telling you, a big penis is not the thing. It really isn't. Number one, I broke up with a guy because it's you like big dicks. I don't mind a big dig, but if you're not going to marry me,

you can't be wearing my shit out. Because then if I don't know who I'm going to follow up this show, you know, like a mat like it can be regular. Sometimes girls are going to get a little bit of a go. You're not going to Louis C. Can't go on in the middle. I have a guy who want to go on the end. Eight or nine inches. Maybe eight to ten inches is not huge. What?

Well, I'll see you guys later. Stop. I think you to stop. Yeah. No, no. 13 inches, 12 inches, let me start to get deep like a thick. Listen to me. I'm telling you, as an owner of a dick, and I'm a fucking a member of the four dick owner community, registered dick owner.

Yeah. Registered dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-o-dick-o-dick-o-dick-o-d 6 5 6 You have a fucking fast six Sloppy 5 He was big and I had to lift up his gut. Oh, this is practice is triggering for me right now I would have to lift and I would have to get on top of him and push like this while I was pushing down. So I'd be like, this double the work. Oh, no heard about Kurt from a- Kurt's got a big, big dick. I haven't seen it.

But how was that sloppy for me? Karen's a little girl though. Anything could be big dick to her. No, no, no, I've seen his dick actually in a photo next to a human's face for perspective. And it was fucking like, oh my god. And I know the girl's face. So I was like, oh my, this is a massive dick.

Okay. Yeah, there was no foreshadowing. Right. It was like right next to each other. Yeah, he's got a big piece. See, I think that you've, have you ever had a six, a six inch, I just know I've seen, I've seen, I've seen,

I just got a stutter. The second guy I ever dealt with, he was about five or six, maybe five or six years. He would have a big penis, but he didn't, he didn't fuck me right away. He got to know me and made me fall in love with him, and then he eased a small penis up on me. So by that time, I had fallen for him, and I was digging into like who he was as a person, but his sex was wack. He used to wear sneakers to fuck me because he could slip out the bus.

Really? Yeah, he would have to wear sneakers, and I was like, I can't, you know, this fucking like sponsored by Adidas. And it was like fucked up. I told you sometimes I slip out the bus. Oh. Here's a thing, man.

I mean, you have a big deck, so you don't even, like, your life is... It's a good size. I don you have a big dick so you you don't even like your life. It's a good size I don't know good size for who an elephant Dude you have a nice girl you got a big fuck she doesn't like the big dick It's just hard on her What an issue it is hard on her, but she says nine and ten which I think your dick is is not big That's good 13 is a big dick. Yeah.

To her. Six is just useless. So what was the guy with sneakers? No, I said he was a five-six. He was a five-six. Yeah, he was a small, but I fell in love with him. So I got to know him. You know what the problem is?

Dude, girth is more of a problem than length. Length is not as much of a... So you get a wide dick. The girth is a problem. But if the girl doesn't have the space, some girls are deeper and some girls are not, like you fucking a shallow chick, you're not gonna get all the way up in there

and half of your penis is gonna be missing out on the joy. You got to, you know, you got to get in there. I have no problem with it. My deck fits every pussy. Yeah. You understand? One size fits so much. Yeah, my deck's so much fun.

Yeah, my dick's a mystery. Every single pussy. While these dick should come with a hotel room. Like with a bottle opener. I have a superintendant dick. Yeah. I, uh-huh. Anyways, um, yeah, we were talking about all this fucked up shit.

Well, I want to talk about too, is that... What's that? Did you introduce me? Oh, yeah. Of course I did. We just sat down. We were talking to these girls this weekend, and this fucking girl was just so into big fucking cock.

And I've never, like, girls usually play that down, but she was like, fuck, she was a blonde girl, she was really pretty pretty and she just had her first big Yeah, were you talking to her from stage? No, no, we were at a bar. She was at the show I had the conversation comes up come up what size dick do you like or Needs oh shit what happened? Yeah, she wrote an arty outside It looks like you're the accused story You're finally gonna pay not I'm funny with that be if I just got arrested I'm murdered my wife

Max in a car over in Washington Just sitting in a car that's running I just wanted to do one more cast before I left See you guys later. We're KWD that would be the best podcast of all time I just wanted to do one more cast before I left. See you guys later. Woo-wa-k-w-do! That would be the best podcast of all time. Oh my god. No, the one from Jail would be.

So I'm getting the fuck in the ass. Is that the Bill Cosby album from, or did you always have that here? That was always here. They took them down at a stand-up lab. They had a consultant, and that's one of their consulting. What do you mean a consultant? They were making one.

I don't know if they are now, but at the time, when they got a consultant, I love the Uber. Pulled back on that. I want to thank that word. We do something for this network. Anyway, the consultant's main. We love this. We have a beautiful network.

Right now. Come on now. Come on now, son. I'll let you sit at this chair. I'll sit over there. Like this way. Race war. I need a good mic finally. I'll lay a sit in this chair I'll sit over there Race war!

I use the good mic finally But their tip was take down the Cosby albums on the wall That's step one to make him big money Crazy? Yeah, and then they came down I wasn't emotionally invested but we acted like we were outraged for it I think Godfrey let them as Cosby Yeah, I got a couple good ones I got all the family Don Rickles. I got King of comedy. I got George

Burn. I don't know why. I mean, he's really not that funny. I mean, he's funny, of course. I think we have something to say. These are what I don't know. I don't know. I'm just saying, but he looks like he's having fun. Yeah, I had a nice night beforehand, you know. He's like, he's like, he's shit in his diaper and I think. I can't believe he's fucking done. Oh, Cosby, it's a wrap. I can't wait till these baseless accusations get cleared up

Another victim of the white media. Wait did you see the diss track? Somebody made it the one girl made it like a wrap What's up? You all right? Yeah, oh God it is the cops. It's Liz. Oh, what's that? Oh, yeah! Liz, it came in with Bucket Gifts. Oh, nice. Look at this. Woo! Check this.

These are new. Yeah, these are good ones. Available right now at the Comedy Cellar. Right there. They're limited. These are limited. You can't get these bitches. Look at that.

Look at that. Look at that. That's all right. I'm fucking the video guy. Checking his Twitter feed right now. So we, I'm only going to have this. Well, I just want to have a monster. I got one too. Well, you want to boss. Oh, you get one to boss?

Don't you have to work here to get one? More than I'm fucking once a year. Look at that. What's up? Boom. Where in it? It's nice. I fucking once a year. Look at that. What's up? Boom. Wearing it. It's nice. I fucking love this hat.

This is good as a mother fucker. We can get the t-shirts. We can get the t-shirts. We can get the floppy part forward. Oh, the floppy part's great. I love that. Dude, we look like fucking elfos. There's not so much advertising.

It's just that they don't have one. I mean, my friend Bobby was showing off my hat. I actually really want one. Yeah, that's the secret to advertise. I have a hat on. You ever had to, the comedy store just got these. Really? No, it's fucking a 900-year-old reason, like, why would they have that?

Thank you very much, Liz. Thank you, Liz. Fuck, I love these. These are great. They made the comedy store. Hey, don't they have comedy sell a t-shirt still They do what do you get those? Get them at the comedy seller. I think we have one right here You can email me you can eat what's the email get around that micro quick

You can email me at Liz at comedy seller.com and I'll send you one after you And there's the world famous logo right there, the comedy seller right there. You can go to, let's get it again, give it one more time. Liz at comedy seller dot com. Liz at comedy seller dot com. Yes. T-shirts.

I have one of those T-shirts. I love it. This hat is good, but you know when you get a fucking hat and it stinks. No, this goes. Like that two degrees outside right now. Yeah, like the sweat. I didn't wear a hat in here.

I had to fucking wear my stupid, I looked like a fucking Martian walking in here. Yeah, it was a good one. I'm getting a little hot right now like the sweat. I didn't wear a hat in here I don't fucking wear my stupid. I look like a fucking Martian walking in here I'm getting a little hot right now. I'm sorry. You gotta take this hat off me. I got the same one the same boat as you Love you Liz. Thank you. Bye What we talking about My head's gonna come in you guys are really into cock My head's gonna come in you guys are really into cock I'm from finish I can't believe it. It's fucking ridiculous that bill cause be is just done

Yeah, there's no coming back. Oh the rap distract. That's what oh right right right right right right right Don't want to call her name is really could you pull that up on the computer you've got to play this right on the computer oh man that's not good that's like when Eminem's mom wanted to set the record straight with rap oh no she put out her own rap to counteract that's how you're gonna beat Eminem and your mom rap yeah there's nothing more more to find. How many rapes was he accused of? More than 50. It's up to 60 now. Is it?

No, you can't rape 60 women. Well, he did. That's what it's the accuser's up to. He's probably more than that, honestly. Do you think he raped all 60 women? No. Not that this, look, fuck him. He's a rapist.

I don't at all. But there's so many that there's got to be like. He is. He raped. He raped. Let's just throw that he's raping he's definitely raping he's right i don't i believe jane is digging to when i saw the interview i didn't think she was lying i don't think she lies i i saw people like oh we're fake crying like she just had a lot of shit done to her face so but she said he he fucked her in the ass and her ass still isn't right and

it's cut from the re broadcast of it but she fucking said on national TV she's on saying that for health he fucking did that shit right how does your ass not recover from something cuz cosby it's just a cosby diss track I guess that's great you think cosby is not Hannibal feeling not Hannibal what do you think about cosby, babe? That might be it. Yom. Yeah, Bill Cosby.

You got no what's up? You friends would cause me? What's up? Are you going on tour? If I was friends with Cosby, I would not be sitting in this chair with Hives, Chow, Screnching. No, I- You would be waking up right now.

Oh, Bill. No, I think for me, I've been talking shit about Bill Cosby for so long, you get worn out. So it's been, and then we're inundated with it on the show. So I never, I didn't have a high opinion about Cosby from some old shit. So this all kind of came up and I was like, well, here come the chickens, the roots, because it sort of like, Cosby said some very disparaging things about the black community and I thought it was very out of line. I was like, well, you could boy your pants off the one.

And I'm saying time. I'm kind of like, I didn't have the pubs. I would be laughing my ass while I was on these hives. I don't know what's going on. Now with some of my arms, I didn't have the power to be laughed at my ass while I'm out of these hives. I don't know what's going on. I'm just, what do you mean? Now the sudden on my arms, I didn't have them like, not even, I'm serious like two hours ago, I did not have high up some of my arms. The vegan burrito.

No, maybe you have some vegan diet. Nobody ate something. You must eat, it's like an allergic thing. No. That's allergic. You touch a homeless person? No, it looks disgusting. Yeah, look like you're dying.

Like you look like you die. Oh my god. So please, please don't die after I said that. Oh, looks like you're dying. Like you look like you die. Oh my god. So please, please don't die after I said that. Oh yeah, that would be great. So you're fucking mourning Chavs. Yeah, no, well that looks death. I see people doubling down on it. No, it has died from hearts.

That's how the beginning of the walking dead started. That exact, how many, she's gonna take a bite out of my neck. And that was tough. I would love to, maybe I can make a movie out of it, but then it wouldn't get nominated for an Oscar. There we go. Creed got robbed. Do you ever get a fuck you?

Creed got robbed. Do you ever get hives before this? I've never gotten hives. I've been pretty long. I just also just shitted a shitload of skin three weeks ago. Shed it. I shitted. I was like a snake.

I had an upper respiratory infection and my body started to cover me and skin so I this is all brand new skin like it soft as a baby's bottom It's all brand new so maybe that's why I need to go listen to me. You need to go you have this guy I feel his name they call him house I think you do Jersey. I think you do Jersey. I think you do Jersey. I think you do Jersey. I think you do Jersey. I think you do Jersey. I think you do Jersey.

I think you do Jersey. I think you do Jersey. I think you do Jersey. I think you do Jersey. I think you do Jersey. I think you do Jersey. I think you do Jersey. I think you do Jersey.

I think you do Jersey. I think you do Jersey. I think you do Jersey. I think you do Jersey. I think you do Jersey. I think you do Jersey. I think you do Jersey. I think you do Jersey. I think you do Jersey. Got nominated for your best director I think why it's a great movie bad max fury road. Yeah, that movie's fucking tremendous That's incredible. I didn't think I was gonna be that into it. I probably watch it

Exactly. Yeah, it's so good and it's so simple. They just executed that one got robbed too buddy listen to me man I don't think create I watch Creed. I liked Creed a lot great I did not love Creed like the first Rocky I liked Creed like Rocky to well you're racist. I like Creed like Rocky to or Rocky three No, I thought you two's a one. I don't remember Rocky one Rocky one was the shit. We're about Rocky four where he spent his fortune on the first Awareness yeah the road I you, robot with self awareness and history. The film of with Paulie.

That was such a fucking stupid thing. And that, Paulie's like fucking hated the robot. Yeah. There's a deleted C-word, Paulie's just balls deep in the robot. Well, all right, thank you. I knew it was coming. Wow.

Because I was going to say one, and then I was like, nah, don't do a fucking robot. I'll take it. I'll take it. That's, well, you know, it would have been something, but no. I don't think, I look at it. I get it. The future Bobby made a decision.

Yes, Bobby. No, to me. How do you feel about the Oscars? Do you think it's fucking, do you think it's crazy? I have not been allowed to watch Oscars since the shut out of the color purple we haven't watched it or supported in our house. Oh wow. As an adult I've carried on that legacy. I'm not really living your mom. I'm not really want to complain about people who if they don't want to include me in something I just don't support them. So that's what I've been actively doing. Well Smith should have gotten nominated. So I don't want to ask her. I find out after the fact,

but I don't, and I think that not just for for minorities, but for a lot of people that get shut out. It's a popularity contest. It's something that it's not a science people vote on it. They have their own biases, personal opinions, and political. So why make a big deal about something? It's a list. It's a fucking hyped up list. And there are old. But some fucking asshole comes out with, hey, here's my 10 top comedians.

And you're like, what the fuck, why are you on it? And then you see that he's just a guy from Wisconsin who made a list. Right. It's just a really hyped up list. Oh, it's a list made up by, oh, everybody's management company, fucking got together and did this thing. I mean, it's, it's a little bit different. The all everybody's management company fucking got together and did this thing I mean it's well you know what the difference is though that these are all like powerful people in Hollywood

Like it's all old and that's the problem is like these people the attitudes haven't shifted. I get to vote it That's why I get free movies. I voted. I voted night and vote for fucking Creed But I agree with oh you gotta watch it. I don't watch it because it's you know what I just got a pack of the movies in the mail from it I'm not gonna watch that shit. No this is sad, but I'm like I'm not gonna watch you could vote in it I mean, you know, this is a case of you could vote if you don't like it, but here's the thing you could use your rights I don't like because I'm not get I'm really You know I'm gonna get that and go I I just wanna vote for my buddy and do my whatever

I think I would if I didn't first. I don't have a DVD player, so they wasted their time. I wish I had semi-a, what are the USB things? Sometimes I'll send you a code where you can download. I don't know, I got packets in my house, I'm gonna say this, I like the Oscars, I love movies, I love all the movies they send me, I watch, I fucking love being on that list.

I have all the movies, the movie lists. When you get all the movies that are nominated, that I don't even out yet, I have them, and I fucking love it. But I watch Creed, they sent it to me, I fucking loved it. But when it wasn't nominated, I think Will Smith's movie should have been nominated. Oh, because he moved.

I think that he, first of all the the movies that accent is too much for me though Really, I just think it's too cartoonish How he sounds though you know put together just a hack Nigerian I thought Creed was good Michael Jackson is it was good, but it was not. But Michael Blackson is a, it was not a fucking, it was not an epic movie. I thought, see, I don't know, I just disagree. I think it was really difficult to like take something that already has so much like mythology into it

and then just and update it into like a, you know, it's a very contemporary movie and also just a completely meshed like black culture with like contemporary black culture with, you know, the Stallone thing. Well, there's a bunch of thing. Here's a bug read. Treat like a mix of Philly like old Philly that it was. Stallone is black is listen.

Stallone's a classic action action. Totally man. He did quite well with the black community. Yeah. All those 80s fucking action dude. Dude Steven Seagull just became a cop. You ever see his show? I do.

I watch it. Look have him show up. Down the south, right? Yeah, until he's Steven Seagull. Yeah. And he was in the back shape of any of the cops there. Listen, the reality is you lost me because I watch animations. I like to live in a world where everyone is green or purple

or yellow. You know, I had a very interesting conversation with a friend of mine. This is when I realized I'm from the same place. Hives knows no color. Hi know I had a very interesting conversation with a friend of mine. This is when I realized, I'm afraid. Hives no color. I was like, you know, I was watching how to train a dragon. And I was like, there's no black people in how to train a dragon and my friends like, well, and they're environment, there's no black people. I was like, there's no

also no motherfucking dragon. Right. You guys are not going for being great dragon trainers. Actually, maybe, it's an expensive sport. Like, so, right now, you don't see a lot of black people. It's black people. We don't have fucking dragon. Sweetie, you got, you guys with the dragons. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. They're eating a movie wrong. You give it the voice of Eddie Murphy. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, It's gonna be all in words and swears. Oh, she gave it a fire. That's giving it a fire. Oh, good. But I realized I have to tone it down. She gave it a fire. She took a weave and put it on the mic stand. I said, in word, fucking nine times.

You're a lover. Well, that's for the hearts. That's her marriage, Vera money. Ah. I just disagree with you. I think I just think that you you're fucking I'm gonna say I love to say it. I'm gonna say it. I think you're I think that's where you swing over on that side and you want to stand up and go and I agree there should be

more minorities in these award shows if it's going to be so big and represent the world as they say it should be a little more multicultural. There should be more people in there, but I don't think Creed was the one. I think Will Smith, maybe with the movies that they're picking, that's not the fucking greatest black performance of the year. You either Will Smith one?

Yes. How is it? It's great. It's great. And for Will Smith, the guy who was in Prince of Bel Air, who was a rapper, to fucking do that's it's pretty amazing black-town cruise con people forget about him in six degrees of separation unbelievable yeah and you know and it's not about

minority for minority six so i do agree with you it's about the the the bigger uh... conversation here is that they are not a lot of roles even offered to diverse cast. I remember my first shut down because I'm classically training the theater and one of my first shut downs was when we were doing our town and they were saying to me like, you know, we have to pair you up with, you know, they kept pairing me with all the black guys for my role. It's called the hour our town not your town I like who the cute-of-played ice cube ice cube son, right? Yeah, what's his name? I

Skept son That's crush I know that was his son. This is dummy. I am I saw the breeze like well that guy they got a guy looks just like That's not W. It's just how high you are all the time And I don't know why I turned into a fucking Nazi, how high you are. That should be something everybody high knows. He actually said the best thing,

because they asked him about that. And I liked what he said. He said, you know what, here's what we do. We just go back to the draw board and create more shit. The only way out of this is just keep creating. That's all we can do. Keep creating until they can't fucking deny it. Well, I said take that with a grain of salt,

because there have been some really undeniable minority talent. The reality is that if you constantly are in a certain scale, you're never gonna match it. It's just been a thing just growing up as a minority child. You know, you cannot be the C student and be president. You gotta be the A plus plus plus's no there's no exception for you You can't be mediocre and you could be the chick at the fucking airport when I was coming out Here point don't act like every TSA Hold on over a weekend. Okay, fucking up, I'll cheat. It give a be fucking eye.

You're checking. It's actually the taxi guy. Yeah, bye. God, yeah, bye. Hey, God. Oh, God, you're not going to back this, you're not going to back this, for sure. She goes, she goes, where you go?

You know, you give that ticket at the cab stand that you just throw on the ground. So I go, wash as I'm saying, the fucking, where I'm going. She goes, give me one. As there's a guy with donut holes across the street. Yeah, so I go wash as I'm saying the fucking where I'm going she goes As a guy with donut holes across the street Come to the front starts feeding her donut holes He goes you want some work and then she goes Yeah, she took a to break in the middle of the spectrum. What's it, me? That's the shit I would do.

No, but it was you. It wasn't me, you know what? But what I didn't, I wasn't rude. I take this frustration and it affects my Oscar voting. And I'm like, oh, holy, the most polite white actors. I don't know. What do you get in the charroom? What do you get in the charroom?

What do they doing? A lot of people saying that you guys should be talking about the Revenant. Perfect move. Oh, that was great move. We never seen it. The Cosby of Bears. Bare Cosby. I saw the movie and I thought it was, first of all, a lot of people like why the fuck is he being nominated? He said eight things. It's not about that.

He was hurt the whole entire time. What I hurt. Yeah, he played her Everybody I mean they do have a point. He was a lot of grunting and groaning for a lot of But you see it. Yeah, I sorry. It's it's fucking great. Here it is. It's the Our version of Jeremiah Johnson. You ever see that movie robber redford Why didn't you glass and want to robber redford Great movies. Was Jeremiah Johnson a guy on the woods? Get fucked up. Has to fucking work his way back. Buh, buh, buh, buh.

Same type of thing. It was beautifully shot. Tom Hardy's in it. He was fucking amazing. Yeah, he's pretty reliable. They said the movie was to gruesome for women. The director said it was too gruesome for women to watch. Is it?

Well, there are some scenes where it's like, I love it. If you've been raped by a bear, I can't. Yeah, the movie too. Is it? Is it yeah, well, there are some scenes where it's a guy Well, if you've been raped by a bear I can't Is it is it worry or is it it is there's one scene with a bear is it a lead up? Oh, okay, oh there lead up parts like when you can go Like you You hear a You hear a You hear a You hear a You hear a You hear a You hear a

You hear a You hear a You hear a You hear a You hear a You hear a You hear a You hear a You hear a You hear a

You hear a You hear a You hear a You hear a You hear a You hear a You hear a You hear a

You hear a You hear a You hear a You hear a You hear a You hear a You hear a You hear a You hear a What's her name was the the the morning show I can't I can't curse what is the she was in fifth element? What's her name meal? Joe overridge, yeah, it was what was the movie where everyone died or people became 20 Evil I went in to see resident evil. I hate gory movies my My friend was like, don't worry. It's not gory

I knew nothing about it. I just With my friend and watch the movie we got in late and it was like the only seats available right in the front I was like it's not any gory. She's like, no, no worry about it The first scene was a girl poked her head out of the elevator shaft for some stupid ass reason and her whole head And it was no there was no stopping. My eyeballs were already there. But I left after that, you know that? As soon as I come, I'm out of there.

Can I tell you something? When I... Resident Evil, the actual video game. When I first got that, that's when I knew video game was just went crazy. It was too much. I played that game in the first series of it on Sony PlayStation.

And you're coming in the house, you go down the hallway and this fucking zombie dog jumps through the window, scared me, I screamed through the remote at TV. And I went out on the front stoop where I was living when I was living up at Billy Burr on 97th Street and I was talking to myself Why would you fucking do that? You don't make a game that fucking scary? I couldn't play it until somebody I had to have somebody come over

Because I was so petrified of the video game It doesn't hold up if you look at it now You get mesmerized by these games I understand why these kids kids do, I played, I had an option of either doing cocaine or playing a Grand Theft Auto. Yeah. And I chose Grand Theft Auto. You could do both. Really?

I was babysitting a friend of a friend and she went to this place in the village and this guy had out Coke. And I was like, I don't want to do Coke, but I can't just leave her and she wanted to do Coke. So this guy, he was like, you want to play my game? I'm going to do the Coke, because it was Grand The Thought of Four was I think the one

with the black guy or whatever. Yeah, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then,

and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, Three different white guys and I Yeah, you're right. There was one I played it so much

For the first night that the next day I literally had to stop myself from opening a police car door like I had to Funny why play I'm like you know like cuz it's fun I'm like you know what you better be to just do this in real life Probably be no consequences. Oh the guy did it change your shirt, dude They don't know I came in from Jersey one day said fuck it and just started running people over in New York City I'm always shit. Oh, yes, that guy just a grand theft auto related very no, there wasn't related It was very similar. It's just fuck it's like you came in losses mark. You started running people. Oh crazy Speaking of which should I get a ps3 or Xbox

60 see people keep saying X I'm a girl I'm gonna solve for you right now listen to me. Look at me. Yes, do you play multiplayer or just the game? Just the game get the PS yes, okay, let's get multiplayer what the but the the the new I've both and I'm telling you PS4 the new Grand Theft Auto is Multiplayer though No, you all Sony's multiplayer platform is not as good as Xbox It's not but I use it all the time. It was fine. Yeah, that works fine. It's not as good as Xbox. It's not, but I use it all the time, it was fine. That works fine. It's not as good. Okay, Xbox is...

Let the Indian talk in this part. Multiplayer used to suck with PS3, but it's a lot better with PS4 now. Do not play any of them, but it's as good as Xbox. Really one. I haven't played Xbox one. Tell you what. Any multiplayer, so maybe Kirk can tell us? What sucks about understanding why would it suck you?

I have a multiplayer in that. Number one, I feel more control over just everything with the system the Xbox one has this is gonna be your friend Fucking shoot it does with you, right? It's very hard to figure shit out and when you're installing games how far along you are I fucking hate out set up I haven't really played a lot of multiplayer, but all the PS4 multiplayer played. I had no problem with. So, you don't even play multiplayer. Yamaniga, look at me. I haven't played a video game in over two years because I had the kid. Literally, I haven't played. So, they might have updated the Sony, but when I back when I played Xbox multiplayer was way

better. Way better. Way better. So, he might be right. Well, this is what I offer. I just moved into a new place. I'm gonna get either one. I'll surprise you guys and everybody come over

and have a game night. Sounds good. There's no little white children. There's no white children. What do you like the black column? And the black column? Listen, commenter. I live further up to you.

You are, I think you're, I'm right, I'm right where white people start to creep in. What street? I don't, what area. I what did you say? Well yours don't say no no sit on the air you're on camera No one's coming to find you I have a dorm in now so I have a dorm. I said I don't worry. Why do black? Spanish they're all black really they're all black. Yeah, well, I want to get back to this fucking Oscar thing real

What are you fucking a tell I'm kind of flew So we play station so good Back to the dude I gotta go smoke a cigarette you do this joke I think I hope you understand that you're wrong about I'll create no I'm not wrong That's read was not good. This is a pain. Are you out of your mind? I? Can't even have this discussion There's no

Could I think I think that fucking so I first of all if anybody was gonna be nominated I think the NWA movie should have nominated We're big three way what about no way Friday? That's a funny ass When he's writing Friday is he's doing himself writing Friday. Oh in the NWA movie Funny ass. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no was it was what they were both not original. I mean it's just a bio pick. Yeah, it's a bio pick, but the other ones fantasy it never happened and never will. So we got here Papa squat right over here Danny Danny boy This is gonna be a fucking hell Just gonna be hell say right over here What's up, buddy sit down how you doing boss?

What's up, but you got your hat? Yeah, I got a hat Kurt Kurt, you got your hat. You know, I do. It's a good hat. We all get hats. We should go beat. I don't have a hat because I haven't asked for an audition here. Okay. Why? Huh? Where are you to? For the audition. You're too big for this. No, I know. I just haven't done it out of not doing it, you know, not anything against wanting to do it. Yeah, just haven't done it. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a. Wait a minute. Wait a. Wait a minute. Wait a. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a. Wait a. Wait a. Wait a. Wait a. Wait a. Wait a. Wait a. Wait a. Wait a. Wait a. Wait a. Wait a. Wait a. Wait a. Wait a. Wait a. Wait a. Wait a. Wait a. Wait a. Wait a. Wait a. Wait a. Wait a We're done You don't see what I'm talking about Just talking about my fridge that's today Baby I got halves I got halves I don't know what I'm really doing, I'm high

Jesus your elbow was braille Don't let it touch your cousin Oh, I want the fucking stress high I'm stressed high Okay Let me see them Don't let it touch your cousin Rich has got OTB head He's gonna that on the way up. Yeah, I'm coming loaded. The hardest thing freaking me out, I went on my back. He's caught by boss a little bit. I don't know why you got a fucking screaming to the microphone like you're a rapper.

Luke, caught by boy. It works, you fucking asshole. You think the rapper? I've been having a problem with my show with my microphone. Well, we don't promise you. I'm still here. And you told me to back off the mic the last time I know I did I'm big I've been great. Yeah, you just want something your mouth don't you? I'm a fucking sassy bitch. I like it. I like where you guys are going with this talk.

Well, we started out of course with fucking she likes a huge massive dick. Okay, no, I don't like you. You can get a gaming with those vibes. massive dick. Oh, okay. No, I don't like this here. You can get a gaming with those pipes. Jesus. I mean, I've had a lot of stuff going on. Men don't worry about certain things when it comes to fucking.

Yeah, rich hives. Dick hives. We call them warped back hives. He has career hives. We call those ticklers. Who's he? That's Bobby's looper. Yeah.

I'm here to kill Bobby. I'm here to murder Bobby. I actually made a minion for myself. He's like a tummy girl. Does anyone else know if this comedy seller hat makes me look like I have slight downs in drawing? That's actually the rest of your face without hair. That's your fucking weird fucking long features.

Peanut butter's peasant jelly. What about together? I can't do that. I need the dog. Jesus Christ. Oh, shit. I just want to come upstairs and say hello. No, hang out for a second. I got a lead. Where you going?

I got to go do another spot. Where you gonna spot the stand? That they closed. No, they didn't they did we did just texted us to close So they do hang out. What are you gonna do? Fucking which one? It's like in the movie Bobby What show now it's really Bobby's in a loop. He's got gold strep to his back. I took my hat off for a second. It's a good hat, but only for outside. It's almost too good. I'm having a problem.

Maybe you can help me with the boss, because I'm going away. And look, I love being my family. I love being my kid. But when I go away, I pretend to be a friend. I'm not going. And look, I love being my family, I love being my kid. But when I go away, I, not that I pretend, but I don't let her think that I'm having a great time.

You know, I'm going away to a hotel. It's usually a nice hotel for a star, nice king size bed and room service and, you know, massages and TV and I get to sleep in late and I do shows at night. And, you know, but there is a lot of work that goes into being on the road. But I don't let my wife in on that. I, you know, she calls up, I'm like,

no, I just wish I was home, blah, blah. Which I do, but, you know, I like being away. But now she's like, I'm going to Naples, Florida, and she's like, I'm, we're coming. And I'm like, you have a good time, putting your kid in Naples. I'm bringing them. Yeah.

But we got to fly with the kid. Okay. And he's two and a-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1 For one, first of all, here's your deal. Our kids have been flying since. It's all, Naples isn't a long flight. It's two and a half, three hours or so. Right? At the most. Okay. You get down there. It's not like, you know what I mean? What could you possibly do?

I get stressed out. What happened to me in the last couple of years, I get a lot of anxiety with the gigs now. You know what I mean? There's a lot of pressure. And you know, I've been fucked over. You know, a lot of pressure and you know I've been fucked over. You know a lot of things you know you show up and it's a headshot from fucking 20 years ago and you look for you.

So you're looking. Boy. I was telling you it was only here. No it isn't. When you hear a girl in the front row go who's that? No. I'm there in two weeks. Are you there in two weeks or this week? I'm there this week.

Why? I'll be in that area in two weeks or this week. I'm there this week. Why? I'll be in that area in two weeks. What are you doing the other club? We could hung out with the other club. I don't know in in Fort Myers Lafayette. They're caught in a real comedy club the real one. This is actually a real company. He moved it. Yeah, it's actually a real club now. The captain captain Brian's moved the club out of Mark O' Island captain. No, I don't say captain Brian You didn't I never did my life I call Brian. Yeah, me too, but anyways, he I don't

Wow, where's the bandana? You don't have any bandanas for the show Anybody's elbow You got a grub y yommies, wipe it. You want my touch with the papahas. Oh my god, those things. Look, you made it all up my arm out. Is it up now? It's getting bigger.

It'll pay you know what you need some lotion. Top lotion. It's wipe your face with the amies. Elbow. I'd rather step over that and blow Freddie Mercury's corpse. Oh, that's a lot though. He was dying to do an age joke. No, no, no, keep that.

And I think Freddie, from Mercury's corpse would be mostly decomposed by. Just dust at this point. Yeah, yeah. Be a mouthful of dust. He's taking an airstrihanful. I think he's making a lot of sense. Well, the thing he's taking.

I don't have a, doesn't make sense, band-gatherer. This last logic, the thing you should give the baby is a nice, lollipop. You need to make sure you have ear plugs and then have a warm, um, um, blanket, um, rag. So have a warm rag. A rag?

Yeah, it has to be, like, right before you get a leg. My baby's white. I don't, no, I'm kidding. No, you said like, I used to be a n before you get white No, I'm kidding Before the children But it was it's gonna suit because what's gonna happen is the air pressure is that's the biggest problem with children is that they don't know how to Get that pressure out of there. I out. They don't know how to hop their ears I saw a kid on a plane when I was flying from here to Denver and the kid was like you know when you see a little kid You're like oh, you're clearly gay like you're a gay. Yeah, like no, not wrong with that

Very mean easy like he was like his ears wouldn't pop and his dad was getting super frustrated The kid just kept going he was like five like five years, dad my ears won't pop. Dad my ears won't pop. I'm trying. I don't want to be like, what's worse, is he his won't pop or you know he's good. I just wanted to say that to him. Realization.

He was a saying, no, really, oh, shlareous. Now, now I'm never gonna, I'm always gonna be looking for that now. We'll never. We'll never. We'll never. No. You'll never.

No, my kid's not gay. But he's, even if he is, you're still a little gay. Yeah, it's the problem. I love him. Not a smart show. Yeah. I'm not fucking tracing Morgan. I'm not, I'm not.

It looks like I'm stressing out about what you're saying, but really, my head's just, take the hat off, you fucking. No! My size had it. Once you get a hat off, you don't know if it's coming back on. I... Yep, there we go. Oh, try to sign on my shirt.

I'm gonna actually have for the show for this picture. He called it a picture. It's gone around for time. He just made it into his bandana, his Kirchiff, get it? Wow. Yay! I'm gonna get that one here on that one. I gotta go. Bye everybody. Thank you. Thank you. Did you touch your stuff? I want to touch it. Touch it.

No, he doesn't have to touch it. Maybe I feel bad for you. I'll be fine. Have you ever had that before? Oh God. I have got it. No wonder I could hear everyone say that. But here's the thing is that I know you get a pop of ears and you get a bottle of take off and landing. But it's like, okay, here's, you got to wake up at 7.30, right? I'm up doing shows all night. I got to go do radio, come back to the room, be with the kid, be with the family all day. Well, okay.

So, you know, okay, take a nap at some point. And then, you know, I'm not gonna be able to go, like I go on the road and I'm gonna go find a cigar bar on the afternoon, I'm gonna get some dinner, I'm gonna do the show. I get fucking anxiety, man. Yeah, I know this, and I get a lot of anxiety. I don't know where fucking came from,

but I'm afraid of kids, you gotta anxiety for this. I get anxiety anyways with these gigs, because you have to deal with these clubs, and, you know, and if you're selling, and, you know, you want to make sure you make the club money, and you make money, and then the tickets, and this is a new club, and I don't know what type of, that's a seasonal place down there.

Who the fuck knows? Well, this is the season, so you know. How did you do? Okay, I've never... Oh, you haven't gone yet I missed I told you There's so many times I do them and you told them another story not good Voss's advice and Yamanikia's vice was actually because we were all tuning out for your draw story

Draw drawing, but you're not a draw or something. Draw? Draw. Draw. But you're not a draw or something. Yeah. Alright. Well I'll tune down. Alright you can't. Sorry I'm not fucking. I'm sorry I can't fucking keep a drug addict entertaining. I can't with your fucking face. That's one of the easiest things to do. That's not- Just jiggle your keys. You know what I'm saying? I'm gonna fucking sit here and hold tinful. You fucking stay tuned in. I'm done looking at Just jiggle your keys. It'll be. You're gonna fucking sit here and hold tinful, so you fucking stay tuned in. I'm done looking at the stuff on your show.

Don't talk about something I like. I'm just stressed out. I don't know what to fuck to do. It'll pass. I almost thought, what do you mean it will pass? It'll pass once you're first day. It'll pass. And then next time you do it with your kids,

it'll be that much more comfortable with your door. And you know what, this is very rare. I actually agree with rich because the reality is when I moved my cats I have two cats I I rest you they were both emotionally and physically abused and How do you know a cow was physically abused? No, the emotional part of me Good He's got a fear of fucking birds Fucking dumb

50-50 and I fucked up. My first cat. My first cat that I adopted Forbes magazine was three weeks old. That was his name? That's his name, Forbes Magazine. Why? Because it's all both never being it. That was his name. That was his name.

That was my name to him. Actually, the goal was to hold him on Forbes magazine one day. Oh you'll do it Complete one Yeah. Oh. You fucking cock sucker. Wow. So how did she end up in the finish? How does it compare to your character?

Well, because when I moved them from place, the last time I had to move them, my other cat Brooklyn started hyperventilating. He didn't like the cage. He was stressed out and his eyes got really big. So it made me so nervous to move them to this new place because I didn't want to go through the trauma that they didn't trust me for weeks. They didn't know the environment. So I was scared.

I had so much anxiety that I was, I want to be more anxious than they were and it want to be okay. So at the end, you're going to have all this anxiety but it's going to work out. It's going to be fine. You've got a good time. I just had a snap of my my cuz I got bored on that I was fucking none note this fucking heronatica was fucking done man

I just went to Rochester and I was like really nervous cuz on it you know I don't know fly with weeds I gotta try to get it right when I get there but I got it pretty quick That's the extent of this is my story Let's the extent of this fucking assholes life maybe is what $450 rent that his girl pays half on no she doesn't Washington Heights. I live with outside Steve. How is your run really low up there? Yes.

Yeah, compared to what? Yes. It's not $450. No. Will you stop fucking trying to find a new place to live? I like it up there. I like it up there a lot though, I do. Is it nice?

Yeah, it's a good neighborhood. Yeah. The building's kind of shitty. Is your rack? Have you seen that? No, we got no rack neighborhood. Yeah, it's a dangerous city. The buildings kind of shitty. Is your rat? No, we got no rat. They had a problem before I moved in, but that got, I guess, taken care of. Never saw a problem with that.

Have you saw a rat in your place when you freak out? Like, what would you do, still live there? I've had, I've never had the big rat. I've had horrible mice in the East Village at cost way more. How do you know they were baby rats? You could tell.

You know, I don't know what, I've never had rats, so maybe that's even scarier, because those will get? You know, I don't know what I've never had rats so maybe that's my even scarier because those will like get you right? I don't know My stuff was appalling. I mean it was the most disgusting fucking some hoarder lived in the building And he was bringing garbage from it And he moved the mill the night and they had to excavate his so that's what all these mice were I had around my 47th and 9th He had to excavate his, so that's where all these mice were called from. Oh, it was horrible. I had around my 47th and 9th, I had a nice building,

but that whole area got transformed over the last 20 years. You were right by the water. Right, so. Not right by the final. I know, but it's not fucking, you know, spice ships coming in with rats anymore. No, they're all down on the fucking water, they're fucking abilistin'.

All right, I get you. I know where rats know what rats can we move on from the water okay haha we uh... there was a hot three doors down there was a fucking house that still didn't kind of uh... they was just a shitty building still and they used to have a rap club it was so bad at At night, we'd sit, I was on the first floor, you'd hear, whoa! All night long. Because the clubs were right there. Night dab was packed on the rest of the way.

So you see a girl's walking, and anyway, I was like, whoa! And this scream, we would fucking laugh our asses off. Because these drunk fucking bitches from Jersey, wherever, just coming to having a great time trying to find the car and just the rats, like little cats, they were fucking like cats massive and then in give a fuck they'd walk they'd run through your legs yeah like you know rats usually scurry these

fucking things like well those are West West side rats they don't fuck around what do you know like the Westies the West listen West I yeah like you say down each village raster kind of pussy, Westside fucking rats are fucking tough. You know what I'm saying? What a Chelsea rats. Huh? Huh?

They work out a lot. They're ripped. They're ripped. They're ripped. Okay, guys, aren't shaped, man. I know. So much. I mean, it's fucking ridiculous, man.

There's a couple of gay guys that work out in the gym, I'm at, and it's fucking ridiculous, man. There's a couple of gay guys that work out in the gym I'm at, and it's almost ridiculous. I mean, and then they match workout clothes. I mean, the sneakers and the fun. You're trying to talk into them, aren't you? Not yet. He's trying to work out the company. What do you do?

I work out the company. You're going to drop around 20 more pounds. There's fucking chubby chases. Apparently. No, you're all a beard and be a bear. No, I don't want to be. I'm only making out like that. That's. No, you're going beer and beer and beer. No, I don't want to be. I'm working out like that. That's a weird, like they want to fuck themselves.

Oh, yeah, for sure. Oh, you know. Why can't they look as good as anybody else at work, so? Well, not like them. Not all gay guys are fucking. They can. Listen, but these guys, these guys are gay, but they look fantastic at the gym.

Like, their sneaker, the edging on the sneaker will match the tights they're wearing. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. And then there'll be a white shirt that they cut, but it's perfectly cut with the shirt that matches the edging on the sneaking.

And then they'll have a watch that's red too. And just fucking, you can't help but look at them yeah not only are they fucking smoking hot physically did I say that I have a clear image of my head if I if I I would it look like when they take some of those clothes off yeah if I actually and I had a blow a guy I don't want some stomach wrestling on my head I'm gonna look at a six pack you know what I'm saying? By accident, how the blow guy? Sometimes you get in positions and predicaments. I meant to just lick his ass hole, right?

That's certainly. Fucking opening for Norton again. You don't wanna, doesn't mean joke, wasn't it? Have you ever sucked a dick? No. Lick it. But I never, you lick the dick. No, I'll never suck the dick. No, never look at me. Don't ever never my

Louch shaking head. That means no Is the helmet count is sucking a dick? Yeah, I'm a your male. Yes, I look like my own dick Yeah, but you have to I would I think was your there was no accident I got I'll be honest. I got my helmet and my mouth once too. Yeah. Almost snapped my neck doing it. Oh no Joe. No Joe, no. You go high, because I was on, I was on, I was on an own

day one day and somebody said this, there's an instructional video on the internet. So I, I just fished and give it was one home and, I was just fishing. You got to throw your legs over your head in the top. In the top. And I, and I threw them, and without them you couldn over your head in the tub. In the tub. And I threw them... Without it, you couldn't get out of the tub.

Those were what I was actually a little skinnier. I couldn't do it now, not at all. But I threw my legs over my head and I was balancing and then I got the head of my dick and my mouth. And there was no way. I did, I got the head in. But I was like, you know what, this isn't worth it. Because I can't go up a

Down I couldn't do anything I was just sitting with with the head of the guy That's my waiting for my wife to come home Why can't you go up and down I couldn't I just couldn't the physics? Can you twirl the tongue at least around the head? I could have but that's I Didn't do anything for me. I wanted to go down on myself. Yeah, I really wanted to do it.

Yeah, I wanted to get that one... Spit on it, call myself a fucking... So you used the Kobayashi method? But wait a second, say you could go down. It's so fucking funny. Say you could go down on yourself. Right? What do you do? Sorry, dude, guys. That's so fucking funny. Say you could go down on your shelf, right?

Shit. Would you... Sorry dude, guys. Sometimes I just think it me. That's funny. I'm gonna start. Say you could go down a shelf. Would you let the load go in your mouth

or would you shoot in your face? I'm a gay. I'm gonna swallow it. Yeah, get it away. Yeah, I'm not putting it on my face I think it's gair to put it on your face. Yeah, swallow it swallowing it is just putting energy back in your body Yeah, to get out of that position. You're a perfect engine The worst is when you curve off in the tub and the kids rises to the top like jellyfish What the fuck are you Ricky Javés?

No, I'm like, you know, yeah, I've taken it when I had a sore back. Oh, there's something good. Why would you, why would you, why are you gonna make egg drops soup for it? I just wanna go to the top. And it comes out, you know, when it gets stuck to your hair. It's like little fucking giz pellets. When you get out of the tub, you ever see that? Oh, hey. Sometimes I feel like I'm in an old folk's home.

And I'm just yapping with the old people out of by the fucking shuffleboard for a week. Yeah, I'm your right, baby. I feel strong. Yeah, what's wrong? You okay? Yeah. Is it helping your hives to think of

boss wearing just that hat in the tub? Keeps full of giz. That the flamingo in. You know, is it helping your hives to think of boss wearing just that hat to talk to full jizz? At the flamingo in. I wanted you guys to see this very funny video, but the only thing is, I don't know if you could see it. Well, is it the, is it the Cosby district that we've played? But it's, let's play the Cosby diss track really quick And then I'm gonna and then

And then what track is the TV 15 and 16. Thank you buddy, and then we'll look for your track real quick I do want to hear this Cosby set this up for me. What did you cart so Chloe go Chloe go in? Does that are happening or goins? So she's a six like kids. Oh, Goins. Like Chloe Goins. Oh, that's terrible. No, she go in. You know, Chloe's going in. Yeah, well, so this is, she's one of the Cosby Accusers.

This is her last six days of track. Wait, wait for me to give you a cue. This is her diss track of Book Cosby via... Vihibop. Vihibop. Yeah. No, that's terrible. Where did you find this? It's all I to yeah

No, wait, wait, where did you first see? I know, but it's like gofrey come on and do a counter District Cosby no, he just does cosp. Oh, he does well He doesn't go cosby all right hang on one second. We're gonna set this up for you guys. All right. Are you ready? Yep. All right, can we make that bigger?

Can you expand that, my friend? Well, she was done already, but it's not. So I just have to ask him to do it quietly and kindly. I've seen your face. Let's go, here we go. The goobies. Let's go. We work together. Yeah

You do it It's going and I'm like fuck Bill Cosby. He raped my mom I Don't want you get it back Here we go. Hey Bill, I guess you think you're pretty slick huh? Making sure you drug us thinking that we would forget ya. But we didn't.

Now everyone knows you'll keep it and protested. And Buddha, your show is the trip. He kept on for all these years. Two badger victims were women, we'll voices be here. It's not going away. It's time to face the facts. I can guarantee that you'll never make a comeback. I'm gonna do it. I Only raffer that meek mills is better than

I thought it was not bad funny, but it was actually good. Yeah, it was shocking me good It had a hot beat the beat was rapping was wack Dr. Cosby has his work cut out for responding Really he's gonna have a comeback at 92 We're gonna wrap up early today First don't give me first of all because you never have second of all I know you always give me first of all And I never get a second or third of all I was getting a never gonna be in a sea out of you Tell me what the fuck you gonna say what he got just say it don't give me an Number or letter. I didn't like it

He didn't like it. It wasn't that good. I thought it'd be better But it was all parody that fucking calm rap is why we parodies Why is it? By the way, she wanted to get out of him. She should have wrote a jazz something right Listen to something that will depressing. Yeah See even who Bob Boop Bob There you go you can go There you go. You can go and ask. Can I stop? I want to ask.

Hi, hey, you weren't there's about a mage drink. And then I put it with the kind of sting. Hey, how about Faba Alvin? I listen. You got it. Yeah, we got to queue up to it. Here's the thing I this is I found this video about a year ago and It's changed my life you guys have to be able to see it though It's a process fucking act. Yeah, just click on you have to go in go in and go in about that change your life in a good way You fucking negative Nelly? That a change your life in a good way you fucking negative Nelly

The tone was kind of negative That's my thing though, okay, I'm a negative guy sound negative, but it's positive. I be mini-me And we're having the worst dumbest computer person that wasn't working Streaming a five five-carmer shoot No I saw it. I saw it. I saw it. I'm gonna. Good. Please. That's why you have high Why is your fucking put number of people like him in your life? Yeah, go right there and stop are we good? No, it's going right there and stopping it changed your life Yeah, go right there and stop. Are we good?

No, it's going right there and stopping. It changed your life. It changed your life. It did. Well, you have to see it. This is a comedian, maybe the second one will work. It's a comedian on stage and she's top heavy. Yeah.

And fat? No, big in. She's doing too much. But she's good BS, to be sure. Yeah, she looks like, no, it's not that one, but if you look at close, she looks like James Brown. And not like his sister like James Brown. Nice.

It's not gonna come up. But, oh, no way here it is, here it is. No, that's not the one. That's the funniest thing. I remember we've already in the hospital when we have to the accident, Artifu Kwame Keith and Norton. And the lady, there was a little old Haitian lady sitting there

while her nurse to watch over him. And I remember, Artif, he was a little out of it. It was kind of scary. But then he actually, he actually looks, he just out of the blue, he goes, yo, yo, yo, yo. Check out this James Brown wig wearing mother fucker over here. We fucked it up. We fucked it up. Hit the floor. And the lady, if he looks, she looked like James Brown wig wearing mother fuck over here We fucking hit the floor and the lady if you look she look like James Brown

Shit you got it. Yeah, I'm in when you ready to go. Okay. We go check it right No, don't get it Oh I got I was getting the reaction. Oh like the why Stop you gotta rewind that I gotta watch that again. Please let me watch it again Here we go Bobby's biggest Like frog leg I mean Go back up? We just go do the stuff right here.

Oh, shit. In Madison. Why is the camera still going? If you ain't on the coolant, I'm too glad that won't. Do you know how funny you have to be? You go back on stage and do jokes. I'm on the b1, cmc, on the b1. I'm a B.O.T.M.C. I'm a B.O.T.M.C. I'm a R.I.R.S.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C. where I've got, she's top heavy. And the mistakes she made was, she wore one of those slingshirts.

So when she went, I've tucked my back. What felt when she dropped? And she dropped herself on. I've done that where I put myself on. Oh, she had been dialed. And then it fell out. And then it fell out. It fell out.

And she went to go grab it. She got on heels. She's top heavy. And then she tell, but I have analyzed this video so much. I've stopped, like, stopped go grab it. She got on heels. She's top heavy and then she top but I I have analyzed this video so much I've stopped like stop motion with it There's a point where you know how frog legs go up like this. Yeah, her everything's airborne and the legs are up like this And there's a I counted it. It's like 3.5 seconds till she hits you here the thud and oh She's good right what I like I like the fucking the look I like the dance move shuffle

She did trying to catch yourself one two three fucking She just went with it. It was that one for you like one two three. I am making it that one foot is like one, two, three, I am making it. She's wearing a, uh, dude, don't, she's doing like leaning forward material with her arms swinging. She's got to do leaning back material. You can tell. You can tell she's been kicked out of cars many times.

Like she handled that. She knew when, knew I'm talking roll Get the fuck Close on that. Hi listen, we're gonna wrap this show up really quick. Let's go to the chat When we got anything in the chat worth mentioning a couple of personal insults. Yeah, I want to read those in the chat and worth mentioning. A couple of personal insults. Yeah. I want to read those.

Is it for me? Personal insults to who, me? A little bit of everybody. Oh. Nice. What's up, Rose? That was good. Use cold Kelly.

All right, check this out real quick. Do you want to read this for me? No, but I got to play something seriously. Oh, what? Somebody die? No, but I don't have a glasses, so I can't read it. Insults. I don't have my glasses.

Let me read this, and then we'll do your plug real quick. Good news football fan. You football fan? Huh? Golf fan, but I like watching the playoffs. All right, the playoffs are underway right now. And in the big game, it's coming. OK, we'll be here before you know it.

And the bad news is when it's all said and done, another long dark off season awaits. Thankfully, our friends over at DraftKings.com have fantasy football contest running through the conference champion games. So you can still play and win cash. Huge this weekend. Go head to head offseason as fantasy football champion. Okay, just pick a player, stand on the salary cap and you could be on your way to victory. Renewal rivalries, create new ones by going head to head with friends and coworkers, and fantasy players from all over the nation. Your season-long fantasy football league is over. But the excitement

continues with one week contests this weekend at DraftKings.com. So look, if you're a fan of the show, and you like fantasy football, which a bunch of you motherfuckers are because you use this code before, use it again, okay? This is it, this is the last time you can play fantasy football until next season. So make a count, this isn't fantasy as usual, this is DraftKings, welcome to the big time, okay?

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No, it's not big news. But first of all, my friend. What is this? My friend. What is this? Just fell off the show. Who's are these glasses? Are these yours?

No. I rather wear a picture. I rather wear her arm on my head. Ha ha ha ha. Oh, yum. I'm friends with her. Are you friends with him? Yes.

Are you sure? Ha ha ha ha. Are you friends with him? Yes. Are you sure? Ah. I'm sure. You're trying to. She's very, yum. I know I'm married. You know, I don't wouldn't have. But you do it for me.

Oh, really? Yeah, you brought last week, because when I first met you, you came over and you're, hey, and then you pulled me in when I was saying, bye. I just met her. Usually girls are like, oh, OK, bye, Robba. She pulled me in and gave me a little love. And I was like, in when I was saying bye, you know, I just met her usually girls like okay Bye, Roba she pulled me in and like gave me like a little love and I was like I like that Yeah, yeah, I like that. I mean don't do it tonight until that shit heals up But no, don't scratch that don't touch any more cups

What are you gonna tape what while we're doing a lot of talking with a mic dummy? We're doing you don't use your headphones and therefore you don't know how loud you got it Eric We're doing it on every show. I've never seen you use headphones on radio because they give me air eggs No, they don't because how do you know you're in my head? Well, all right there you go you picked the you picked the one fucking kid thing with I have an Eric they can't tell good God, what do you get to promote? I'm sorry If you're going to an ear doctor I want to give you a book now we're doing a live my wife hates me at the village underground February 9th nice hosted by Ron Bennington nice with special guest where did you get

that idea no this is a whole different I know kidding I know listen she's February 9th you're right it to Tommy Seller website. It's gonna sell out Listen, you've done it twice already. Oh, no, we've done about we've done many. Okay, but you sold it out of the village underground Yeah, I've done it twice right yeah, and it sells the fuck out fast. Yeah, this show Just goes so get your tickets. There's only 200 seats there. 200, that's it. Get your tickets. How much you tickets, you know?

10 bucks and one. Oh my god. Are you kidding me? And we're having special guests besides Ron. So it's somebody more famous than Ron. Well, no, it's just, it's going to be fun. Jet Avatar is going to be there? No, I'll explain to you after it's been fun.

Queen Tarantino. No, no, he can't. You're getting nobody in here that he's back together? No, I'm not. Whatue I superman superman I gotta hate you not physically together my wife and Bobby hates me and also uh Wednesday night Bonnie will be doing race wars. No, that's great. Have you ever heard of that? I love race wars, man. I wanted this fuck on this network before he went over. I was trying to get him in trouble. I was really fucking love Kurt, man.

One of my favorites. I on Facebook, on radio. What's that? I do it in February. So that's happened. Oh shit, February's coming. Yeah. Oh my god. Do you know what I say every year? What? Just be cool.

Let's just try to get through it. Next month there will be normal history. Oh fuck, it's rubber. Yeah, I'ma rub that shit on him. Oh Yeah, I'm a rub that shit on You can't catch it don't be ignorant So cool If that's fucking off that's contagious I'm happy I feel as if we see Kurt his face is all bubbled up Doing race war was like I fucked up. I'm like I live salsa. I'll keep going

I got the bandana radio fucking keep bombing. I don't matter. I'm not gonna get it again Congratulations on that. I'm very excited. It would be a lot of fun. What else you get what's your website? What's what's your Twitter? I don't know that rich boss. Where can people go find where you're gonna be? This week I'll be in Harrisburg at the Comedy Zone. Nice. This week, next weekend, I'll be in Fort Myers. Okay, cool. At the Comedy Club. All right, buddy. And it's always fun. Thank you for having me with my wife. I love my wife. I'm invited. I'll be there. You fucking walk, you know, you walk up anytime you want. You know, you don't need to know that I thank you We we did 200 pie we just did our 200th podcast on rye cast the fucking greatest 200 of these fucking things It's but he but you love doing it. It's fun. Yeah, because no one's our no one's we sit in our dining room

No one tells us when to do it what to say we just do what we fucking do. We might have an ad for you too Get out. We're trying to get him You said you wanted ads. We're switching up Bonnie. Right Bonnie. Listen to 199 200 Bonnie said I will not fuck these up ever again, and I made her swear and We will back story as the riot cast we were getting everybody gets ads and as it was one of the show Populous shows on the network. There we get ads and Bonnie would trash the company Not trash it makes jokes trash And as it was one of the show, popular shows on the network, there we get ads and Bonnie would trash the company. Not trash, she would make jokes.

Trash, she's a company. Yeah, I know, but they don't like that and they pulled the ads from them, but not only them, every other show on the network. No. There they go. I had the same company. All Bonnie said was, who writes this garbage?

Oh, right? No, that's not, no. No, that's not, that's not. No, that's not. No, that's why they give you. Look at it. They wanted you to wing it. They just say, hey, tell us. They, there is some.

How is that you wing it? How it's done. Fucking big shows. They, they, they, jokes about. No, they don't. They read it. You read it.

They're paying. There's some that let you have. What's up, baby? You weren't invited today? To what? To this podcast? No. No, it was only middles.

Okay, so since I was, I will be... I bought a good hat, yeah. I thought you were a Yamaniga. I'm fucking wanna make out with you. I want to play with your rash. I will be... I'm taping a half an hour. Oh, next day. For comedy check, who's isn't?

No, not for comedy check. For French. Who's this for my mama and them? I will be at New York comedy club. Right. Are you doing a half hour? Who's doing a half hour? I'm doing a... Well, it'll be at 8.30. At the tickets of $5, I really don't give a fuck.

There's a, go on this thing. The promo code is something yams. Um, then this, so sorry. Show our neighbors. Just be there next Tuesday, 8.30 New York comedy club. This week I will be in Council Bluff, Iowa, Friday and Saturday and the Harris and

Kansas City, Missouri on Sunday and then Pittsburgh next weekend followed by Chicago Atlanta the following weekend Boston and then Niagara Falls and Canada. You know we're stuff to me. Do you have website? Yeah, it's the I'm an eka dot com. What do you want that at Yamanica? That's why AMA in EI K.A. Thank you for coughing in the middle of that. I know there's no time for me. Yeah, we man Joe Liss wrote you into a pilot. You did? Yeah. No, you didn't.

I swear to God. Joe still cares. No, just a black girl named me. I'm an eka. Oh, okay. No, I was like being Joe had a weird experience when his His we got very racial on Tuesday with the stories. Why would happen? I made a comment that you know, I said I don't trust sitting next to a white guy in a movie theater And then it will all want to shit after that. I don't like why a crazy looking white guy Why not a looking white guy. Why?

Not a regular white guy. Really? Because I don't know if he's going to tell you to be quiet. No. Yeah. Well, before after the shooting. I said the same amount of time. We don't mind if you yell after the shooting.

The same amount of time. The same amount of time. The same amount of time. The same amount of time. The same amount of time. The same amount of time. The same amount of time. The same amount of time.

We don't mind if you yell after the shooting. The same amount of time. The same amount I feel when I sit next to a white guy in a movie theater. Not, you know, not, you know, I don't know what the fuck is going on. And more, it became more of an issue that I know that he's more than likely knows he's gonna get away with it or live through the experience than anybody else that would do some shit like that. Like again.

What if it's a guy with a really tiny mouth? That's what this guy said. Guys have movie theaters pick you on thinking those orationettes? This just happened. Baby, don't listen to that. Oh, thank you. Babe, listen, it's a rash.

That's not leprosy. Oh, you know what's so funny? My friend stayed after what's your fucking deal. And she was like, oh yeah, you went up and said, everybody, Angela Mima went up with some shit like that or I make pancakes on Sunday. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, It's a bottle and pancakes mixes into good I said we gonna argue about what black woman do what for you white people pancakes Sarah about the butter I'm not right I'm not like no the butter is an Indian woman Yeah, and if you take your knees I know have their titties

Oh my god, I've never heard that shit in my life. Oh, yeah, I sure go off to that when I was a kid Jesus Christ All right, what do you got Kurt? I'm going to comedy works in February. I don't know early February comedy works in Denver Montreal. Oh Shit, where where there used to be Jimbo's but I guess it's reopen. Oh no shit. I fucking love that club I know I mean, I know they can't pay crazy, but I'd fucking go do that for Yeah, oh my gosh, if you're Montreal good for you, man, is the same guy on it? No, I know they can't pay crazy, but I'd fucking go do that for one of the most of your Montrealers coming up to you. Is it the same guy on it? No, I don't think so. That was a different guy.

Who owns it? I don't know. Frank. Dude, that's a great club. What else you got? I go, oh, I'm going to be a cab city, dude, just before a moon tower, and then I'm doing moon tower. Where the fuck is cab city?

Austin, Austin. I never played that club either. You never did? No, they fucking don't have who works that I That's why I don't think rich likes me. I don't think rich like I mean he's a nice guy, but nothing he hates me, but I don't all right There you go It's comedy works and it's February 5th That's a great club. You got Canadian fans. I do We have a lot of yeah. I'm going to Vancouver.

Yeah, what are you doing fighting in the mic? Oh, I'm going to fucking just for laughs and Vancouver buddy. Can you speak? I know you're high, but can you speak this up at all? Why do you say that? I've been running over an hour. Listen, where the fuck are you in there? You're literally starting to start. Just for laughs. Just for laughs. What? Vancouver, I don't know. Oh great.

I love just for laughs. Love those guys. All right, so where can they see you? You got to go on Facebook. You got to follow Kurt on Facebook. Yeah, don't, I don't want that. Why? I don't need that attention.

And why do you see Zidemies coming out? I just got done with that. Oh, that's great. What? Is it? is it inside Amy? There's still shooting it though, right? Just now it's probably starting. It just starting out. Yeah, great one of my favorites She's gonna take off She's killing it my god. Uh, thanks coming on. What do you got stop me, baby? Um Stop me with my erotic Instagram account. Please check that out at stop you see the new one we did STAVVFive baby.

Oh, it's a real erotic. I think the erotic up. STAVVY baby. I'll show you right now. Wait, you live in New York now? Just moved. So please check that out. Here's the one we did.

Oh yeah, me and Bobby did a real nice video. Hey, are you ready? Cremely under liked. You ready? Here it is. Cremely out. If you go to my Instagram or you go to his, yeah, he didn't like it. What a hit. I didn't hear it with the sound.

What a hit or... No, he's not a hit or he just didn't. Here you go. Hey man, smell this kind of thing. Put it in the mic, Bobby. Oh, this is pretty... Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Pretty good. So... I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it.

I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it.

I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it.

I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I'm not gonna get it. I thought it was funny, my wife said it, she was like, you know, you do stuff, but that might have been a little too weird. And my family, this is the, you guys are all on your phone. I was trying to find the stuff from Darling. Listen, no, you're on camera. Listen, I look like nobody cares what I'm talking about. I showed you her just getting ready for a photo. And people are just visually watching this.

It's me talking and you guys like this. I thought you guys could go the whole stuff for me. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I don't even know what you guys are talking about.

I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I don't even know what you guys are talking about done regardless of who's sitting in the seat. If you're free, I would love for you to be there. When is it? 8.30. What day? It's a Tuesday. It's the 26th. I'll be in February. Of January. It's next one. I'm doing a Patrice benefit. You're doing it? I hosted everything. Oh yeah. I'm not. What is it for? It's for Patrice.

Oh, we raise the money, I think, for the mom and the wife. And it's to keep his memory alive. And you know, it's to celebrate Patrice every year and make sure people don't forget him. And we don't forget him. Yeah. Billy Burr hooked that up. Yeah.

I would have looked up in there. That's different. You know what? Here's the thing. Look, I'm not going to be there. But I'm not there. I was there the first two years, I'm not there. They get new people every year. So you might be there, you know. It's like when the bossing comics come home thing happen.

I didn't get on that. I was all fucking like, what? You want to be on? You're Cam Neely's best friend. Now I am. Oh, really? But no, I haven't. No, he looks at me every year.

Like, he was up, but he's never been five times. But now I'm on it, you know what I mean? So. Do you use you every year up there? Not every year. They didn't use me this year. he was up. He's not be five times. But now I'm on it, you know what I mean? So do you use you every year up there? Not every year. They didn't use me this year. Two years in a row and then I took one off.

So anyways, the star baby. It's not me, baby. He came, he came to me on the road, fucking love the death. He's a funny, funny motherfucker. So make sure you check him out. What do you got, scope? I gave you at Chris Cope on Twitter.

And then Thursday, January 20th, come to New York Comedy Club, 1030 Show. It's been a good time, come on out. What do you got there, Deepu? On R2 Deepu across the board, and after you've checked out, everyone else's great content. You can check out my livestream, twitch.tv slash R2 Deepu on weekends.

Both these guys, fucking funny guys in their kickin' ass, and what do you got for me? Your dates, if you're you're listening live right now, this weekend it'll be at Off the Hook Comedy Club in Naples, Florida. That's the whole Thursday through Saturday. Then you're gonna be at McCurdy's Comedy Club in Sarasota, Florida.

The next weekend, the 29th, 30th, 31st. First week in February, February 4th, 5th, 6th, stand up live in Phoenix, Arizona. Then you're gonna be 11th, 12th, 13th. You're gonna be at the Comedy scene in Foxboro, Massachusetts. Yeah, stand up alive in Phoenix, Arizona, then you're gonna be 11, 12, 13. You're gonna be at the comedy scene in Foxboro, Massachusetts. Yeah, and then we start filming. We start filming Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll.

Mid-February, I'm excited about that. So make sure you're at robbercowelive.com. My specials up there for five bucks, if you wanna own it, long and ended a version. To an announcement, or do you want to do it? And then we, and all my dates are up there, all that stuff. And I'm going to put a mailing list up there. All the people in the comics last week,

you fucking sold out the two shows on Friday. I fucking love you for the moment. Great shows. Great shows. New comics coming. And Mohican son. Yeah, Bob, are you doing that? I'm unbelievable.

It's great. Yeah, her post is up. Well, great. Yeah, we got two announcements. Look, one I'm not going to I keep, I'm keep plugging. Two big things, one's gonna help out this show and all the other shows on Rye Cast. It's coming real soon.

We're gonna give you the fans the opportunity if you want to show your love for the shows. It's gonna help everybody, it's gonna be great. It's an opportunity for everybody. And there's gonna be options, it's gonna be nice, man. You're gonna love it. And then another brand new show coming out. I can't announce it yet, but fans of this show, when I tell you who it's gonna be, you're

gonna fucking flip out. On Riotcast? On Riotcast, another original show, like Voss's show, like Live at the Comedy Sella. This is another original show that Riot cast. You got Jared from Subway. From prison. So we're going to be announcing the record straight. Let's set the record straight.

We're going to be announcing that real soon. And that's it. What else do we have? If you want to set anything to the studio, you're going to do the attention WKWD podcast into the Comedy Seller at 11 YKWD podcast into the comedy seller 117 McDougal Street 1-0-0-1-2. And if you guys want to come in we have we have

we have uh... next week we have someone coming in what next week we have someone coming in okay next week we have somebody coming in what we have we can get to people next week Tuesday we're doing Tuesday right? I figured yeah okay great so we do it too you guys want to come down to the studio hang out with us sit on the couch have a drink while the show goes on live doing Tuesday, right? I figured, yeah. Okay, great. So we do, too. You guys want to come down to the studio, hang out with us,

sit on the couch, have a drink while the show goes on live. All you have to do is email. YKWD producer at rycast.com. We didn't get to learn on the Skype tonight. We're gonna drink. Up. We have all kinds of drinks. Water, soda.

Coffee, beer, soda, whatever you want. We have whiskey up here, if you want whiskey whiskey Yeah, we have an espresso machine over there Absolutely You guys can use the studio anytime you want to up you guys you and Bonnie if you want to do the show here one I who would run it for us? You out you'd same things the way you do it home. No We need these guys to do all this technical stuff. I wouldn't know. I'll come in for them. Sure. There you go Look at that. They fucking just said they come Technical stuff. I wouldn't know. I'll come in for them. Sure. There you go. Look at that. They fucking just said they come

He's got to prepare for the New York comedy club show so I don't want to fuck him up So if you guys want to come in make sure you fucking email him. It's pretty easy. All right That's it. You guys are the best fans in the fucking world. Thanks for listening. You know what did podcast Listening to YKWD podcast You know what did podcast. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincindia aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de madrida murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com