Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Honess with a "T"

Episode Date: January 18, 2016

This week on YKWD: We have Dante Nero, Luis J Gomez, Sam Roberts, and Richie Redding!  We welcome a civilian into the studio who was trolling Bobby on Twitter, speculate who smeared shit on Dante's apocolypse-mobile, and wind down the show with some calls as well as a monologue performance by Scopo. Watch / Listen and enjoy!   RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night. Con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 grados. ¿Estás listo a Robert Kelly? ¿Qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿ to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. This is gonna be a cost-defying podcast. It's no rule. What are the Mike Asshole?

I'm sure I've already said should I regret it? Can I get a mic or something? No! That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down and yapping. Sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's 10 no topics, no directions.

I love doing it. Way both sides of the coin. That love doing it Side to the coin Podcasts popular I might affect somebody's life you never know We're back in Live in the studio. Holy shit, I sound good. It's a mic. It's a new mic. Fucking hot. Wow, that's loud.

Alright, so we're back in another edition of YKWD. You know, every week I say we're gonna do less people. We had three people this week. I mean literally we start out with two. I'm like that's fucking good. We'll do two. And then I was like, you know what? Let's add, I want fucking, let's add one more.

And then we had three. And then Dachte, Dachte had some shit happen to him and I was like, I need Dachte. I got a handkerchief. And then we had this, he's not a comment. I don't know why I'm here Ian's here Well, you know why he has some shit to happen. All right. He plays drugs in a remote cover band He's gonna air drop it out during the halftime shadow And then and then and then I forgot that you I mean I forgot the actual first fill

So it's a full house, but I think it's a good full house. And someday I will have less people on. Some Sam brought a guy. And then Sam brought a fucking, his fucking Dunga Den. My guy's here. Goon. Your guy doesn't need to be here. I have a girl and a guy.

You let me invite Adrian me I did invite Adrian I did invite Adrian to sit on the couch. He knows the scope. Oh knows I need my guy He's the guy here. He can't function without him. Okay, that's fine, but here's the thing. He used to be my guy Is that a song? He stole your guy. He stole my fucking guy. You took my guy. So I have problems Well look I didn't steal your guy your guy. guy. Your former guy made a choice in life. My boy's pants bad, and he's better than ever. But now you got a guy and a girl. I have a hot girl.

And I have a hot guy, I think Scopo's better looking than folks in yoga. No, no, Adrian's better looking than Scopo. No way. Thank you, Ryan. Let's settle this right now. Take your hats off off both of you A hair competition bomb turn it around

Scopo is definitely on the way down and I know my guy Adrian is dieting eat celery for lunch because I don't need all water Basically, yeah, my guy my guy has a fuckable ass yeah that is an edible ass yeah you get I get fucking do so much thing I got you know my hair out and he has hair I can put some lipstick on yeah you know this is fucking he looks like you just go over an illness scope is not an asset you would want to fuck but he agents got an asset you would want to be pumping like into you. Like you can see. It's from behind. It would look good. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I I mean, dude, he just the detail you want him to back up into your fucking cock real I said that's like a detail that I Not a real is real is to move I keep a little old All to one it's not real that's cool right in

He be real scuffle. Let's go around looks like fuck. All right, first heroin addict brother First time guest of the show we have Richie Reading right here from Philadelphia. Oh yes! Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How am I a wigger, Lewis? You don't act like it anymore. When I first met you, you were one of the biggest wiggers I ever met.

No, I was not. You made that up. That's not true. I will outweigh anybody at this table. Dante, back this up. Was he not a wigger? Uh, well, you could ask him how many girls he knows named Shantel Let's be honest none you

I don't like his fucking bomb disguises a real question How many girls you fucking shantel what a pose is fucking 92 listen, I'll take it back I felt bad about the 92 reference for whatever is fucking 92 listen I'll take it back. That's right. I'll hold onto it. I felt bad about the 92 reference or whatever. Yeah but you do all black room. I mean you tour black comedians right? Yes. And you do a lot of black rooms right?

I don't do the rooms much anymore. Oh really? Since when? Last weekend? No I mean I do the like the tour shit. He's still going to tour cat Williams the blackest person alive Yeah, that does not make me a wigger necessarily does it keep talking more white than you normally talk You're really the black like generic white noise. He's doing the FBI guy on every show

Make me a Gomen I am the super white guy that does black rose. Okay I'm scared, go man. He did the eyebrow too. I am the super white guy that does black roofs. OK. Isn't that what that is? That would be the definition. Anyways, that is the definition.

I want to point out also that Ian's eyes are scaring the shit out of me. He's got arcomis. Why are you like his fucking warrant eyes? I've been told I have serial killer eyes. Yeah, I was superhead. You look like it just like you had an arcomites. Why are you like his fucking warrant eyes? I've been told I have serial killer eyes. Yeah, Al's corporate. You look like it. Just like you had an arcom.

You leave Sebastian Baka. I don't know. I, it's like a- It's like a J. It's like a J. Goames. Listen, yeah, it was like if we had from the Sam Roberts show and then we had Adrian. No, no, there's Adrian. There's an apostrophe after the S and Roberts, it's possessive, so there's no need for the-

No, we know where your show is going. Fucking smarty pants. Welcome back to the show, dude. Thank you, thank you for having me. I love having you on. Yeah, I love being here. This is the exciting show, specifically today. You know what Sam did?

The last thing you say in your intro is, I'm hoping you know me, my hot cast will get big enough one day that maybe I could, you know, what do you say, touch them? What did the packet bullshit that you said? No, he said change lives. Change somebody's lives. No, affect people's lives. Sam was affected. He's a lot of believe laughed out loud. What he heard that?

I think they did when I said it to I don't know why would you include that buddy? I don't know where that's from. I could have been It could have been me just bust and balls are saying something now Dude, I come when did you ever hear me say, I want to affect lives? All the time. Dude, you are a fucking, are you kidding me? I affected your life. You affected my life.

I affected your life or not. You can positive my life. Have I affected your life? Say the truth, Lewis. Yes, you can affect my life in a positive way. So there you go. So you never know. But this podcast.

You never know. So don't watch yourself. That's right. Resil Louis J. Gomez. Stop y'all all right a pull clap it up for me Come on everyone. You know love that guy love that guy You should have a clock around your neck He really you are the fucking biggest hype man in the podcasting business right? Well, not just the podcasting business and the Louis scope business to it was just so much energy Yeah, did come in and and hear him hyping himself in the show up. Same as a compliment. You're not hurting my feelings right now. Love the baby James.

I'm saying it doesn't matter if it is or if it isn't, he knows that this whole business is a fucking illusion. Right. Okay. And he doesn't care. If he says, dude, I'm doing my fucking Lewis scope and there's fucking 18 people to go loose and those 18 people will get at least a couple six people. Six people. Well, it's not true there were 42 people in that last little school. That noon that's pretty decent. It is decent until you meet like somebody like Ryan Reynolds who does a periscope and there's a million three in a Ryan scope.

A Ryan scope or a deadpool scope Okay, wait for that movie to come out 12 Okay, so we got Lewis speaking of Deadpool and I don't know your last name What's your graph? Yeah Lee and McGraft you band what's your band's name? I don't have a band right now Are you kidding? No, my bandmates died actually. Did he really? Yeah.

Lemmy? Did you have enough? Sorry, how? Yeah, you know. I just work at 70 bars now. Was it great name for a band though? It was a great name for a band though. My band was called Countdown Love.

Countdown Love. My last band, yeah. And what member of the band died? What instrument? The guitarist. You could get enough guitarist. It's just poetry, we do. Did he write on a song?

It's not a song. We like split it. So you did it, you and him. Yeah, I played bass and I write some music and then he would like, you know, go to the other side. The whole band really wishes he died. The bassist is like, no, I don't. I know.

Any fucking monkey. Yeah, you know what? He's crazy. You know what, he's the first one you want dead. It's like having a chance to play. He's the first one. That's what the bus rolls over. You just help the fucking bass place on.

He's the only one. He's the fucking lead singer's head. Turn it around, you're like, fuck. Yes. I'm gonna have to get some Filipino guy to replace this motherfucker. What kind of music is punk, right? Yeah, yeah, definitely.

Like, 77 old school ory side kind of. Right, okay, cool. Well, I'll explain why you're on the show. You're not a comedian. No, you're in a band. Actually, listening to your music. I actually like some of the songs. Really?

Oh, awesome, man. I did. It was weird, because I hunted you down. Yeah, I. And I, I found out, I know everything about you. And then I have people in the business, I actually know your street address. Yeah. And that's not your bar you work at that you gave me. Uh, no, I, because I figured you were like setting me up. Well, we'll talk about it. I wasn't actually. Okay. That's not why I'm here. Yeah. Tell me about it. I'm not saying that. okay. That's not why I'm here. Yeah, tell me in the Yeah, like where are you sat me through

Make yourself comfortable I want to put you between the fucking the wig around the girl That's Sam is not a girl That's a sitcom right there And then we We have Dante who of course everybody knows Dante. The reason why I wanted you on today is, I'm on Facebook. I go to Facebook now, I love Facebook because I follow, but I follow you and always some funny fucking videos.

And if you have him and he's just like, yo, whoever put dog shit on the handle in my pocket. That's the funny shit. Yeah, I saw that. I saw it, jeep. I was jeep putting it on the handle. Oh, jeep. But then he goes, then he goes to me.

He goes, I know it was a white guy, because black dudes don't pick up dog shit. That's a white dude thing. That's true. Yeah. Possibly white woman. Do you think? White woman don't pick up shit. I'm going to ask you a question.

White dudes pick up shit. Black girl, if it was a girl, and I was fucking a shoe to key the car. Yeah. Clearly. Well, that's why I want to talk about that too. We got D-Poo video producer the show. The fucking magic R2 D-Poo. What's going on? We got sexy Lauren Kelly two point fucking old. Yeah. Yeah. Right. She's called Kelly point five because she's half her size. I know, right? She was calling Kelly. Point five because she's half her size. Kelly, when she first came on, when Kelly was kind of hot, she was in shape Kelly.

I never ever thought about her ever again sexually when she told us about her anal fishers. Yeah. I was out. I'm done. I'm done. Thank you for telling me that. I don't have to look at you ever because I know there's a slice, there's some type of slice in your asshole.

Is that a cream? Toilet water. I don't know what it was. because I know there's a slice, there's some type of slice in your asshole. Is that a quake toilet water? I don't know what it was. And then when she, last week when she told me about how she has XL tampons that flop out, I'm done. I'm out. She got a big pussy. I don't know what it is, but I know the wide set.

Yeah, wide set. It's like a head, it's like an ear. If you were buying shoes and you had an E foot, it's just like a Fred Foos stone, triple E, triple E gap. I'm out, I'm out. I don't like the, and then the little giggle, he against that's me,

well it's not my asshole. I'm out, so I love you, but I'm out, yeah, I'm out. So I'm still in Lauren. I'm absolutely in, yeah. That's good. And then we get, of course, we get, you already introduced. Fish copo. Oh then we got the, of course, we got, you already introduced me to the show.

Chris Copo. I was trying to make it funny, some funny statement. All the stuff you've done that pisses me off or runs through my head and I'm like, the fuck, we got Chris Copo, the producer of the show. Right? Yeah. Thank you.

And, and we got, we got Sam's man boy. The man Sam. Thanks buddy. Adrian. All right, we got Sam's man boy. The man Sam. Thanks buddy. Adrian problem. All right. We got Adrian. I love who I feel like I had it apart in creating something that was great.

He was literally, if I could have Adrian, he is Lauren without being sexy. So I don't have to fucking think about that. And he has scopos body. So it was like, you have the best of both worlds. He has her oomph and his fucking, you know, guinus and you get the best. I have to get two people and push him together

to make an Adrian. To make an Adrian. By the way, he was my intern before he was your guy, so anyway, but go on. Wasn't your intern? Well, he was, but go on yours. But go on. Now, he was OP and Anthony.

He was a pre-show intern, but go on. All right, nice talk to you. And pusho. So wrong. Thank you you Adrian. No problem. So there we go. Try to raise. You gotta get one of these Lewis. Dude, I lost.

Lewis has them. I have so many guys and I don't make them follow me around and I'm thinking this has been really missed opportunity. A hype man with a hype man? Yeah, this is it. This is like my version of the Lewis scope except it's just a guy who says my name. Does he hold your Lewis scope? Oh, he will. I'll hold it every once. That's funnier than Scopo too. I'm believeable.

Hey, Adrian, it's really good, man. So today on the show, we're gonna be talking about this stuff. But later, the second half of the show, Chris Scopo is taking an acting class, correct? Yeah, lessons. Lessons, lessons. Can you take podcasting lessons? That's next on the list.

I'm graduating from my podcasting class next week. We should do it twice a week. We should do podcasting lessons. Let's do it. Probably gonna miss the money of that, bro. Stop what you fucking clown. Just saying, look at this fucking... Yo, next week on my podcast. This is podcast.

It's called podcast. Next week on my podcast, I'm seeing you the probably way to hold a microphone to your face. We're in to say something funny and we're in the whole bag. That impression is so like me. I know. Dude, we all know I do one impression. It's a party lang. It's just it's my type. It's unbelievable already. Really? Yeah. It's just

one do it. Do it. It's a minute. But fucking guy comes. You got dog shit on his fucking. Some broad put fucking dog shit on his door and I'm not a guy. Now, stab yourself in the stomach. Go. Fuck it. Fuck it. I hit a cookie. I hit a cookie.

I hit a cookie. I hit a cookie when I was a boy and that's why I'm fucking love Snakers and dogs. So anyways, so anyways, I had a big thing with, you know, we'll talk about this, we'll just get out of the way. because I invited you on for a reason, because I wanted to talk about this. I want to set you up.

I really wanted to find out. You're very rarely, like you said, something that you go, I'm not a troll. I'm a fucking real person. So it's like, okay, cool. Let's fucking talk like, but it does live under a bridge. And then I actually, you know, when, you know, what happened was the other night, I'm, I'm just chilling with my kid hanging out.

I had a long fucking day with the fam, you know, and you know, it's fucking, you know, to have a, when you have a kid, your life, the time in your life changes. You know, you go from waking up at 12 to waking up at fucking eight because you want to fucking see your kid face and then you're up all day I moved out, but you know it's great that you have this awesome life Mine's really just falling apart. Appreciate you pointing it out

But back to 12 though you get to wake up And so I go on Twitter and you know the other shit with cool Mia and well because you And so I go on Twitter and you know they'll just shit with cool Mia and Well because you Banned Anthony from Patrice's benefit. Is that right? I did I read that I made that I made that hard choice That's that sucks, dude Well, he's one of what the cops on Anthony. Yeah Yeah, I'm actually the one who sent Danny over to being with a Infiltrate this guy

And then you get on par go and you catch him. Or you bite your own hand. Bobby stepped under him and I'm go. I'm going to go. So anyways, I usually don't acknowledge, I don't give a fuck, whatever. Fucking people say shit on Twitter, it's Twitter. But this one guy, I felt like I was you know I don't fucking claim to be any you know greater than I

am or I don't go on and fucking I'm not the other certain people that I'm this I'm that and they the fucking always tell them so I just do my shit you don't think I'm funny go fuck yourself if you think I'm funny fine I don't give a fuck you the way and I'm just sitting there and I go on Twitter and this guy's like what do you think about the eighth and the coo me a thing? And then there was another one, but I didn't see it all. I saw it all at once. So it was like, I didn't answer.

I guess quick enough. And then the guy said, I knew you wouldn't answer. Like saying, I didn't answer intentionally. Right. But by the way, what are you owe anyway? What answer do you owe anybody anyway? When do we sign up because we But let's take it from his point of view. Okay first not not the not let's not take it from reality

Let's take it from just point of view Because oh it's such an insult. I'm gonna punch in and it's fucking heavy So angry that wasn't me though. I'm kidding you To do this shitty base Well, you know, and then every time you smash you we plays a sign fell beat Well, this is what really this is what really got me is okay You said this and then you you kind of accused me of not Responding because I'm a pussy or something, which I'm not. And then he tried, and then he put in a whole fucking other people.

Like, I think it was Jim Norton or other people in the tweet, like, hey, Robert Kelly, I asked Robert Kelly what he thought of this. He's trying to get people against me now. When I, I was with my kid, I just didn't see the shit. And even if I didn't answer it, what, I don't understand what the fuck I have to do with any of this shit. Do you know what I'm saying? And, you know, as far as supporting Anthony goes, I think I've kind of, as far as me, I've been there.

Yeah. I've, I was literally on his show, The Wednesday, after the fucking, as they call it, the there. Yeah, I've I was literally on his show the Wednesday After the fucking as a con at the incident. Yeah, you know, I'm on a fucking tea. I was on Monday But that was cool. They came out Wednesday I'm a certain things that could affect me too. You know what I mean of course I mean, but fuck it. Let's go. I'm gonna go on. What's up? And I'm not I didn't go on Hey, I didn't go on to go hey, I'm sorry. I didn't go on a hey I said you know, I said what I had to say to him, my front, because he's a friend of mine.

I was like, dude, you need, you know, I, you know, you should get some help where you're drinking. And we had, I said what I had to say, because I care about Anthony, and he was like, yeah, whatever, I don't think that's the problem. And then we fucking moved on, had fun, we had a good show. But I give a shit about Anthony. I care. So there you go.

I care about him as a human being. Not as a fucking entertainer. I'm not a fucking fan. He's a friend. You know what I mean? That's why I went on a show. There's actually a great clip of you actually fucking calling exactly what happened years ago. Did you see that? Yeah, with Danny in the room. Oh, she's in the room. He was there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the school girl uniform. But it's like, look, I care I give a fuck about Danny too. I know I know Vinnie's fucking Vinnie's, I don't care what you say about Vinnie. That's his daughter. I have a kid.

I know Vinnie. I know her. I give a fuck about her, too. All right. So you don't have any more daughters? Yeah. There's a big, huge family. But I care, you know, I care about all the, all I'm a recovering alcoholic. This shit is fucking tragic to me. Because I went through it.

All my friends in comedy went through it. We've all come out the other side. So to see people go in it now, and you can't help them, it's fucking terrible. I would say periscope when you were an alcoholic. I don't know. You know what, just fucking eating it, don't attend it for in the morning,

shove it fucking, go into it. You do that now. Here's my drunk. We've done it together We've been sober doing that We watched the magic show That's the best part of my kid for the first time to do it then. That's the best the best Are you really not a fucking just fucking send me down another path?

Your lips are getting wet. I haven't had a... I haven't had a... I haven't had a... You still wouldn't have had a... I haven't had a... I haven't had a... I haven't had a sugar... Sugar graces the day after Thanksgiving. So...

But anyways... So anyways, this guy, you know, kind of... I felt like I was being set up with that. It's like, fuck that, man. You know, I'm gonna try to get people against me. I didn't do shit. And I was like, I do that. I didn't, what the fuck?

I didn't get invited. You know what I'm saying? Betrice was one of my best friends. I didn't get invited. But I think the, it's, you weren't invited to perform. I think Anthony is the one who's inviting. I wasn't invited to the building inviting I wasn't invited to the building I wasn't invited to the party the after party. I didn't get a phone call

But here's the deal. There's the way I look at it ready. This isn't about me Just this is about Remember once a year we keep Patrice's memory alive Billy Burr like if I was to do a benefit It'll be at the village underground. We'd make 800 bucks for Patrice, okay? That'd be it. Billy Burr is with his fame and his popularity. With his star power, which he doesn't have to do, which a lot of people who knew Patrice don't fucking said, I'm doing this. And it was really fun. And Billy and Patrice weren't real, they were at odds. They fought all the time. And we all fight.

We all fight. Yeah, but Billy and Patrice were not split. But I'm just saying, let me say this. What I'm saying is knowing that and the fact that he took this on and said, this was a guy who I respect and he put all of this behind it is something special. It was very hard to push through. I'll tell everybody that people don't know this,

is that the agents and man, everybody got in the way of it for the first year. I mean, they ruined it. The business, the industry fucked it up. And it was never gonna happen. Billy Burr on his own dime put up all the money and took the risk blah, blah, blah. And the fans all responded and showed up up and now it's an annual thing

that he puts on with Marine Taran and they fucking do it on their own time nobody makes money. So the fact that any fans are giving Bill Burr shit is bananas. Well it's it's like this it's like this look you you this is not my thing this the reason I don't care do you think man it's for his mom it's raising money but number one it's keeping his fucking spirit alive. It's the funniest comic of our generation that has gone.

I mean, he's hands down. Prolific. The funniest motherfucker. He made everybody in this room better. Okay, as a person and as a comic, he made us all think. And I talk to him all the time. One of my best friends, dude, him all the time one of my best friends Dude I get emotional one of my best friends. I think about him every single fucking day I raised my kid and I think about what he would do in certain situations

I want to betrace the fucking hang with my kid so much and I any never you know what I mean? And I probably was a little closer The thought of donut is making your eyes leak too. So anyways, we're out here. Let me go shake. So anyways, so I responded to this fucking guy. Just liquid porn.

I responded to this guy. So then I go, dude, stop trying to set me the fuck up. You're trying to set me up to say something for you or against you I just didn't respond to you and you're not gonna win either way Well, it's first of all I don't want to take away. I don't want to talk about bad shit. I just want to talk about Patrice I don't want why are we have it? We should just be talking about Patrice. Yeah, you know what I mean That's hey, well people like to make everything about themselves. So it's just on Twitter, everyone has these anonymous

personalities on Reddit, and they have the one moment where they can get an upvoter, they can get a like, or they can get a few other people to be on their side. And it's their moment of importance. But what they don't understand is people like you, there's a real fucking connection. This isn't a game to you. Patrice was your boy.

Forget the fans, forget the show, forget ONA, forget Colin show. This was your fucking friend who died. So for anybody to even fucking, you have to step away from that shit. You know, I don't even feel comfortable talking to you about Patrice because I don't, I met Patrice a total of 12 times in my life and I'm like, dude, he was such a big, bigger than my figure. I couldn't even imagine what it's like to lose somebody like that. As a fan, I like like I get emotional thinking about losing Patrice. We honestly probably wouldn't like you You thought I was too comfortable he said to Wayne. It's funny. Why is he so comfortable man? It's it's but people assuming what Patrice would want is hilarious to me too look man I Last time I saw Patrice is he was in a room hooked up to life support,

thin with a beard with his mom, okay? That's my memory, that's the last time I spent with Patrice, okay? So if I can have a fucking, if Billy Burke could put on a thing once a year where everybody gets together and remembers this guy as we should remember him, as a brilliant comic, as a friend, as a funny guy. That's what we should be doing. We shouldn't. Okay, I understand

with these, your guy who you support had something you felt was wrong. That's great. But do it. Talk about it after. Deal with it after. But you know what? It's not that big of a deal. Who gives it's it's not helping anybody's career. It's not hurting anybody's career. It's a party you don't get invited deal. Who gives, it's not helping anybody's career, it's not hurting anybody's career, it's a party you don't get invited to. And I get it hurts because this is why it hurts. Patrice was affected, Anthony, me, everybody's so deeply that to not be invited, you're like, fuck, what did I,

I was his friend too. So to be invited to something like that, it makes you feel like that everybody knows that you're his friend. I get it. It hurts me too, but you know what? Oh, fuck it. It's about Patrice. It's about his mom. It's about his memory. It's about raising money. It's about celebrating him. So fuck all that. All that shit is my nude. Now, I said that to this guy. This is what we should be doing. And then some other guy attacks me. He goes, oh fuck you. He never tried to set you up prove it

Now I have to go he wants me to go and get my tweet my timeline and repost it That's what he wants me to do go repost my timeline and so I can prove what this guy did I'm like you go fucking do it go fuck yourself My father I this isn't making a murder. I'm trying to keep it funny I'm really trying to add little jokes in there to keep it light But you know what that though. Well, it's like dude. I'm trying to fucking, you know at least make it you know, all right So so at one point do you go who the fuck are you? I don't do that. What a fuck you?

What a fuck are you? It's an entertaining that makes it better. This guy said this was guy said to me goes I would that I hurt your feelings big boy You're gonna block me now and I went yeah. You should have blocked them. No, no, I know. But I came up with another funny line that I was pretty funny. I go me and my friends invented talking me into each other and then we taught it to you. That was to make him go fuck you. You didn't invent which is the joke. That's the fucking joke. That's where he and stepped in and his line to me. What's his Twitter handle? I mean, he's about right now. We should on it. Can we should on you know? Yeah

Yeah, I'm gonna I figure that's what I'm here for it No, I don't want to shit on you dude. I give you fucking full credit because you did you look I'm not a troll I'm a human being but I want to just understand well I don't want to say the thing. Let me just say what you said. Yeah, I go. Because I want to understand it. Because I don't understand, like fans, it's the only thing that puts us over.

Like guys like me and you and Lewis and Norton and Anthony, the industry doesn't give us anything, because of what we do and how we do it. Because we're too abrasive. What do we have? Real honest. The fans, or whatever we are. Real ass. The fans, you put us over. You're the ones that make it so we have to put them

on the festival. We have to give them a show. We have. Are you? Or is the fear as a perfect example of that? Nobody wanted to give them anything. And then you got 100,000 Twitter followers and they were like, oh, OK, then you have two hours in a year.

His own TV show on Comedy Central. Because eventually it's the fans. So I don't know, I want to understand where this comes from. I wanted to say something, you're saying about the fans, one of the things that drives certain guys is you want to be honest and you want to be,

you want to be honest to your, to your tea and honest. You know what? I just don't know if I'm saying a road you know I'm a see now you speak both like listen There is a tea And your experience on the road is there a tea in it? Honestly? I'm here for you, baby. Thanks, dude.

But we are honest for the fans. For them. Like, I got one second. If you don't write this, if you don't write honest down, I'll fucking throw it in some again. I got it. I got it. I got it.

I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it.

I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. for them like If you don't write this if you don't write honest down, I'll fucking throw it This way it works man. I'm look we all came up with talking me into each other. I understand that But I'm trying to teach you you translate will all the time. So what I'm saying is I can't be that bad I can say spaghetti. All right, guys. So honest. So I'm saying we're going to score four to fans,

and that's why we do it for. And the industry doesn't like that. They push four or four or half ass fake mofuckers in the front. That's the truth. Look, I'm going to disagree with you for one second. The industry, I'll tell you why. Because Gary Galman told me this once. He said, I'm clean because you can make more money. He, because he talked to Leno, sat down, he did the show, sat down on the couch. He went, in between breaks, he went, hey, I, I, I,

do my act clean because of you, because you're clean. And I wanted to just be clean. He goes, I, I just do clean. He goes, I fuck that. I just do clean because you make more money. You know, the issue of you is you're more if you clean. And then he said the N word. But you should. I honest. Look, this is a business. If they can take it, guy, they're not going to make as much money off of you or me or you as they will. A guy who's crystal clean, looks proper and has a good attitude and everybody in the whole world can like a millennium. You know what I mean?

Yeah, absolutely. He's fucking, but millennies, one of the funniest fucking guys walking has never seen kills. Good looking, clean cut, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, they're like Napar Gatsy. He hasn't had a TV show yet, but he's had like five fucking development deals, because they keep on trying to get him something.

Because they can make money off of me. That's a quickie clean. Yeah, if he had talent, it'd be great. No, I mean, any charisma whatsoever. Yeah, but he, but it's so funny because you look at that and he literally bought a house in Tennessee, rented apartment in LA right now. He's, I mean, he gets on TV, but it's not like he's got any regular. It's hard for us because of we choose. Not that they need to make make money It's easier for them to make money with clean people so to for you to make money you got to really come in I think it isn't on a perception. Oh, that's a percept that's what they perceive so because I you'd look at anything any of the greatest shows That are on TV now on none of them a clean. It's anything this one regular TV wasn't breaking bad It wasn't what you're talking about acting just in general. I don't understand It's the same thing

We we you're not out because for some reason when we we can't you can't joke about things like rape and race anymore It's you got to do it in a very at a very very high level Whereas like movies and you could have a fucking rap scene in a TV show all day long Because for some reason when you're joking about it and making making fun of it almost The perception is that were were somehow victim blaming or somehow like like yeah yeah so it's a weird thing but I think he's definitely right about that just TV shows to get a lot more room to do that with stand up I mean every second cartoon though a cartoon to say whatever the fuck they want because it's a

cartoon they're not real so people oh, it's just the fucking cartoon They get away with a lot more puppet. Look at all these packets. Huh? Get a real ass puppet I came up with that I get Call it fist need the rape puppet So let me get back to the progression of this fucking craziness on Twitter. And this is why Twitter, I feel, it's just a shit place. It's a terrible place.

So anyways, I say that it was a joke to him. Just kind of, but here's what set it off. This is why I said that to him. His thing, before I said that thing about us, talking me into each other and then teach, inventing, talking me into each other, and I said that, I said the reason why I said that thing about us talking me into each other and then teach inventing talking me to each other said the what i said the reason why i said that joke he said

uh... i'm happy you're still you're gonna you're gonna die soon and your son won't have a thought about it won't have to see how uh... fucking uh... shity or as a fucking comedian was a psychic well he said that to you he's that was his tweet to me

that was a tweet he wanted me to die? no not him what about him? what about him? oh it's him I don't want to hit him I don't want to

waive work for it I'd love to have that guy that would have been a setup that would have been a setup stand right here I need you and you might have to take his shot, though. I can take a break.

I can't take a break. I can't take a break. I can't. I can't. Not for you, think. There, listen. I haven't beat him up before. The guy said to me, basically, I hope you die.

I hope your son doesn't have a father and your comedy and your career is a fucking shit. My response back. Which one of those response back, and then he said, and then he said, well did I hurt your feelings? Which you didn't. I, you know, I don't know you. If my fucking brother said that to me, I'd be like, that hurt.

I don't fuck, you're a fucking triangle symbol. You don't even know on Twitter. I don't know who you are, what you do, I don't even know what he looks like. So I said, that's when I said that line about we invented mean shit and then he and comes on. Oh, I want to know. Oh, he goes.

He goes, he goes who who, which is Howard Stern, because you know, the opian Anthony used to say he and he thinks he invented every that's an old. Oh, and I got it right. Got it. Who? What a do she used to say he and he thinks he invented everything. That's an old oh and I got it right got it What a douchey thing to say I'm not I'm not supporting your comedy or your podcast anymore Wow, and I was like Well, I was like I was like okay Easy I go but I felt like shouldn't you should you're a man?

This one fucking and then he said I heard your podcast stinks anyways Wow, I heard you didn't say that he said I heard your podcast isn't good anymore Whatever the worst take home is is not there followed by invite the last one wait wait the last one the last one He's not on your side I know you tap on me. You think he's got you, but he doesn't. I'm kidding. Then he said, the last one was a bunch of, the last one was a bunch of black guys harassing Lauren. And I said, just to be funny back, it was actually a bunch of chicks talking about tampons, which I thought was a funny line. Yeah. Because it was the same in the same pain as that shit, right? But then you said something else, but then I was like, all right, let me go see you had a photo of you

So let me go see if this guy's a fucking then he goes. I'm not a fucking troll Well, let me let me defend myself real quick like the I mean the first tweet I sent you like I was just like surprised I didn't think wait when you said you invented talking shit to people as a joke. Why said to me and my comic friends? Yeah, well, I was just like surprised you were even letting people bother you so much, and you were tweeting so much. And I kind of said, I said, oh, I'm not going to support you anymore. Just because I knew it would get a rise out of you kind of.

But why wouldn't you? That's what trolls do. That's a troll. You're a troll, right? I guess. That's a troll. But here's the thing that bothers me, is that you're a real human being. You're in a band.

You're a fucking creator. He's a bass player. You're an artist. No, I listen to his music. I fucking actually like your music. Uh, thanks. I did. I went, I went, because I was like, oh, this guy's real.

Let me go see who he is. I went and I listen to his music. I was like, okay, he works at a bar. He looks like a fucking pretty cool dude. And I didn't understand, number one, if you're a fan of mine. No, I am. I'm a fan of his, his, his, yours. So you're a fan of mine. Some guy just wanted me dead. Wanted my phone.

Okay, you're a fan of mine. Some guy wanted me dead. My kid grew up without a father. And we as support. And hang on. And I suck my, everything sucks out. I don't even see those tweets on it. I don't understand how tour to work

is not really good at it. But if they have to have, let me just say this. What is fucking say this? But I don't know, you're a fan. I say, even if you thought that was a real comment, like I really think that I invented ball busting, which, we created this fan bait.

You did it with a tough crowd, Jim Norton. Yeah, that's all I want to say is them. invented ball busting, which in we created this fan base. You did it with the top crowd gym, Norton. Yeah, that's all. Oh, and I should have them. I bet it was that we created that fan base where people who like minds came together. Yeah. I'm not saying, but it was more of a fuck you to that guy.

Yeah, I didn't see it. I didn't see that. But even so, if you took it, you forget literally, like, what you were saying, there was some truth to it. When you say you invented it it the thing that everybody loves on Reddit and Twitter all the ONA fans and the Colin fans the the tough crowd fans that style of fucking fire and all that's why he went to other because that's what we do the difference is that what I did that no what I'm saying no I'm saying that's why I said that's why he did it in the first place

I mean just for the sake of being mean and not knowing you. No, he thought he hurt my feelings, which he didn't. And I was like, no, we, I've been, basically dude, we did this shit you fuck. You know, and I knew who's gonna be like, you didn't invent fucking, I knew that was gonna go to him.

The guy who just wanted me dead and my kid to have no dad and my career sucks. But then you like, you never met a dad. You went from a fan? You went from a fan fan One do she comment? Yeah, I didn't really though, but you just take response. I'm getting I'm getting that's right Lauren I mean I'm here now I give you full credit dude, but you're pretending like you didn't know but you know exactly

No, I know what I said I know what I say. It's five Bobby. It's five Bobby. It's five Bobby. Well, you can't answer things. Sit there pretend like you don't know. Oh, I didn't know what it says. But you need to fucking stand up.

She's so fucking awesome. Oh, yeah. Stop being a bitch in. No, listen. Listen, I just didn't, I wanted to under, listen, from your fan of mine, and then one thing, you attack me and go, fuck you, I'm not supporting anything, you do anymore, because I said a douchey thing,

but this guy attacked my life and my family, and everything, and it's like, why wouldn't you as a fan first attack him? And again, I didn't see that. And you admit that you're also not a fan of that other guy? Yeah, that's definitely there. Are you happy, Bob? That's why, that's definitely there. Are you happy, Bob?

That's why when you came at me and then you would trash in the show and be like the show stinks now. I trashed an episode. And I don't see why there's anything with black guys bothering more. No, it's harassing me. I don't worry about it. I actually fully agree with it on that episode.

That was a problem. It was an uncomfortable. They're actually waiting outside. It was a lot of fun. So I had all the joiners on next week. So I didn't get fucking caught up in some blogs. It was an uncomfortable. They're actually waiting outside. It was a lot of fun. So I had all the joiners on next week, so I didn't get caught up in some blogs. I was like, no, I'm not gonna have you on.

It was Black Philly comics. It was, oh, okay. We should have had Richie. Yeah. I can corrall them. So, I wanted to have you on, dude. Wrangler. Black rags.

I wanted to have you on, because, you know, I went to your page, I was like, this guy is a real guy, have you on, dude. Wrangler. The black rank. I wanted to have you on because, you know, I went to your page, I was like, this guy is a real guy and you said, you're not a fucking troll. And it's like, no one ever fucking deals. No one ever has that thing happen to them and then gets to fucking face to face. Yeah.

Like, you're looking at me right now. Yeah. And do you want me fucking, do you want my fucking kid? To love bigger impression? Yeah, I'm not a father. You know what I mean? It's like, you're not, I knew you weren't a fucking,

I didn't think. I was like, maybe this guy's a fucking dickhead. Who knows? But I was like, I don't think this guy's a piece of shit. He has a band, I know he has fucking hopes and dreams. I know he has the same shit that we all have, right? Maybe you can affect his life. No.

You have a belt. You have a belt. Yeah, I'm here. Yeah. It's great. So, is there any guitar so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, was, I don't, I hated it, you know? I didn't know you were making a joke. Like, I really thought you were just like so heated up.

You're like, oh fuck that. I invented Boston Balls with, you know what I mean? It started in 92. I was like, it wasn't it? Wasn't it the Italians that invented that? Let's be honest, it was trolling. You were trolling. And I was in a ride. You were trolling. And I was in a riot that that's what I'm saying.

That's what trolling is when you're trolling. And then you expect him. And as much as we have tough skin, we're still human beings too. It affects us. And I'm not saying it got to you because you knew where it was coming from. But dude, I had that thing with a cane carter

and I called him out for stealing Patrice's stuff. And then every day, I had 500 suck my dicks on my Twitter right from kids in their mother's bathroom taking pictures in the mirror. And so, yeah, actual dicks, that's what it was like suck my dick every day. So I took this day. 500, like with a picture?

Yeah, you take the hilarious. He tried it twice, he reconstruct like suck my dick every day. So I've been 5 hundred. Like, with a picture? Yeah, you take the hilarious. He tried it twice. He reconstructed his joke and he brought it back. You have an extra scar on it. No, he said with the camera. No, you know, you look at the profile picture and then it dudes who were in their mother's back from 16 year old.

Can you explain it one more time? We'll just pause the show and fucking over-explain these 16 year old kids in their bathroom. But, you'll be willing to fight Dante? I'm not. Dante, you do whatever you're gonna be like. What it effects you after a while, like day in and day out, people trolling like that. You go, what the fuck? Can I tell you what bother me about him?

What? The other guy didn't bother me, because I know he's an asshole. You'll never be the skinny Much better if the drummer on sex drugs and rocker. Oh look like him Sticks are not fat name Sticks that I chicken a fucking boom boom I'm so glad I invented this I didn't even know

I didn't even know it's a rock. I didn't even know it's a rock. I didn't even know it's a rock. I didn't even know it's a rock. I didn't even know it's a rock. I didn't even know it's a rock. I didn't even know it's a rock. I didn't even know it's a rock.

I didn't even know it's a rock. I didn't even know it's a rock. I didn't even know it's a rock. I didn't even know it's a rock. I didn't even know it's a rock. I didn't even know it's a rock. I didn't even know it's a rock. I didn't even know it's a rock.

I didn't even know it's a rock. I didn't even know it's a rock. I didn't even know it's a rock. I didn't even know it's a rock. I didn't even know it's a rock. I didn't even know it's a rock. I didn't even know it's a rock. Oh God, that was funny, little. Wow, so yeah, what bothered me about him was I was like, oh, this, I want to see what's a fan. I was, no, I didn't think he was a fan and I still don't know how much of a fan. I think you're a fan of mine by proxy. Hold on, wait, I think you're a fan of... Listen, Bob Kelly trivia.

Oh, that's a good one. Bob Kelly trivia. What's a wife's name? Listen, I listen, I listen name what's his wife's name This give me a second. I know it come to what what what was my specials name my special robber Kelly live at the village Okay, what's the point? I got to get three questions. What's his sons name? Max I wanna get three questions. What's his sons name? Uh, Max. Boom! Oh, three!

Okay, now. How big are his wife's boobs? That I don't know. Nobody knows that. They're fake. I keep those in a lock and key. Remember when you called me Staren? I'm like Christmas multiple times.

She was serving fucking like bacon fucking bacon broccoli. I was like, yeah, but I know you're a fatty, so I didn't know if you were looking at the bacon broccoli or my wife's. That's the thing, I don't know. But all right, so you're a fan. But that, and then when I, that's why, the reason why you bothered me is because I was like,

oh, this motherfucker is a real human being. He's not a piece, he's not just some fucking, because this guy's who do have fake accounts, who do, and you know those guys. Oh yeah. You know who they are, and you know. I frequent the ONA sub, like yeah you know the guy who there's a guy that every week has five different accounts and comes after me I'm sure the reddit's after me even huh someone comes after me even on there some fucking asshole here

you do you do you don't even do anything. Well, I think you do. To me, you do. So I want to apologize, and I want to thank you for inviting me on to talk about it. This is great. Like, I love these guys, man. Yeah, this is cool. These guys, you know what I do?

You can do it. What's you for giving him the opportunity to meet us? No. That's why it bothered me, because he's real. Do you know how much more punk rock would have been if you flipped over the table and said, it was a fucking shitty show. I thought about it. Just get all over the fucking floor.

Check the wall. We should be band-man. You know, uncomfortable would have been... I'm being dragged out. I'm being dragged out. I'm being dragged out. I'm being dragged out. I'm being dragged out.

I'm being dragged out. I'm being dragged out. I'm being dragged out. I'm being dragged out. I'm being dragged out. I'm being dragged out. I'm being dragged out. I'm being dragged out have I worked? You would have been ripped apart by those two pimples. You might have got the fingers on them too. I would have had a clump of your hair hanging behind you. I would have had your scalp.

I would have had your scalp. You would have made it out of his teeth. I would have yelled at me every time I happened it up there. I would have put your hair on the end of this. But I did want to have, because it's fucking crazy that I think, first of all, what I'm getting at is, it's tone. You can't never get tone on Twitter. So the tone of me, I'm sitting there thinking it's a funny fucking line to get this. This guy just wanted me dead. This is a funny passive aggressive fuck you. He read it as real, which could come across douchey.

And, you know, and it it's like oh my god okay fucking let's figure this shit out let me let me have you on and then I listen to you music I kind of like music so I was like awesome all right let's see but here's the thing is too this what really made me laugh is that he said you said you're a douche I'm never I'm never falling you I'm not supporting you anymore and anything you do and then I was like hey can I come one of your shows you yeah no. Yeah, he goes oh yeah VIP dude and then he goes All right, and I know you're no sugar no grades and Gomez the real-ass diet So I'll make sure there's healthy stuff in the green room. I was like wait a minute in my head

I thought I thought you're gonna go no go fuck yourself. Well, can I tell you what happens? It's it's it's this culture of they they can get it's much easier to get the reaction out of the negative shit, right? So these people, and I meet them all the time, because there's people that claim to hate me on Twitter and on Reddit. They come out to the shows, and then they meet me, and they're fucking, they literally go back,

and I look at shit they said to me. I'm like, this guy fucking hated me. And then the second you shake their hands, and they meet you, and they're like, oh shit dude, I'm actually a fan of the shows that you're on and the things you do. And you're a nice guy and it's not these big super you guys acknowledge them. It's a whole different thing.

The minute you acknowledge people and they feel like they they work your time. I'm sorry. I got it. I'm sorry. That thing is still on your eye. Yeah, I gotta go to doctor after I have to. Yeah, after I come back from ship rocked. Do it be feel me?

People gonna get that on ship rocks? It's not contains. I know what it is. It's gonna be a bunch of pirates. It's kind of like a star Yeah, dude wear a patch over your eye That would be a red look. It's actually a perfect look for ship rocked people think I'm just like doing a theme I just said that. Oh, I just said it quicker But you know, you're right. I but that's it's just a first of all you don't get toned on Twitter I get that and I talked to this guy Norton hooker this guy because the next day something happened. I got unverified on Twitter

And I know these guys will go out and you know report you and try to do shit Yeah I know they go and they try to delete people's account and do fucked up shit to people which Look say what you want, but when you start doing silly shit like that That's like fuck. Yeah, that's a little kid shit to me and it's like Dude if I was if I was verified and then somebody got me unverified, I would kill them So rule is no fucking troll it stop fucking trolling but also It's not fighting with people on the internet and you won't bring me no I think the rules should be if you-

I don't anyway Talk any of Mike, you do a radio show, listen to your headphones Yeah, my mic's work, I'm a radio show Yeah, but the- Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Thank you Adrian Serious exam Sam Roberts show. No, you're just fucking the judge I'm really lucky. No, you're right. Yeah, just that you fuck it's the same microphone stands you have Not really, but I think the thing to learn is that you know what first of all if you're a fan Be a fucking fan all the way it shouldn't take one douchey comment for you to go fuck you You should be like Bob fucking hey chill the fuck up well the lesson learned is make fun of bobby on Twitter you won't bite you on the show.

Yeah, that's a tack attack attack you can't abandon you'll put up a ship you'll make friends with a bunch of semi-famous people. You're in the neighborhood. I think I'm being honest and I think the trolls I think you do fucking just block I get it you know You just fucking block, but I feel semi-responsible Because I did you know me and my friends taught these motherfuckers how to talk me into each other You were the first to do it. Yeah, so I feel vintage Me and actually invented the bass guitar I will do it anyway move on. I'm glad you came on

You know the thing with you about your dog shit on your door I feel like it was kind of similar. It has to be something from it It has to be from the internet. It has to be from your show You had your fucking face plastered on the side of your car you I had a guy said that you need to find your car fuck you You deserve the shit under the fucking thing. You really do. I actually don't think it's, I don't think it has anything to do with you.

I don't think they even know who you are. I'm not going to explain. Look at this motherfucker. I don't know. And he go and fuck it. He's got his face on. I'm out of gas tank in the back. I'm out of gas.

I'm out of gas. I'm out of gas tank in the back. I'm out of gas tank in the back. I'm out of gas tank in the back. I'm out of gas tank in the back. I'm out of gas tank in the back. I'm out of gas tank in the back. I'm out of gas tank in the back. I'm out of gas tank in the back. I'm out of gas tank in the back. I'm in, you got your fucking face on it, and go, should I have yours on? You really?

No, I can feel it, you know? He had a better insult than you came back with. I like it, Tontag. Thank you, sweetie. Are you sure it was dog shit? Yeah, it was dog shit. Because I hadn't, I had aggressive of dudes just fucking took his own dump.

Fuck this car When I said the video the video was was I'd always rather me to dope do with the car than to do digging in shit Fuck you son of dick. Yeah, I hope God there's a video out there of some guy like this guy thinks his car is cool and This guy thinks his car is cool and just I hope his video I hope his video becomes more viral than your video I hope so so I can find him you so much shit under the fingernails I hope so I really hope he matches I got gloves

He didn't the way to do cuz you know Lighter to get it off This is the third time though I haven't said it All right, I'm gonna tell you right now. We're gonna see a side this right now, okay? I'm gonna give my first piece of evidence it's somebody in your neighborhood who has a dog it's a dog walker in your neighborhood has a dog fucking shake your head like that's it Indian boy that is obvious

you're gonna be go shit no it's not good you know what fucking I don't like you got some laps it's a good. I got it. You got it. You got a laugh. Can you push it? Oh, don't do good. Go. You don't do character. I finished the profile. Let's do the profile. My first piece of evidence is it's somebody in the neighborhood who has a dog who fucking hates your Jeep. They have no idea who you are. They have no idea who you are. I guarantee it's a I guarantee it's not a guy. I think it's a woman. I think it's a woman guarantee it's not a guy. I think it's a woman.

I think it's a woman. I think it's a woman. It's not a chick, dude. I think it's a woman. It is a dude move. No, no, it's a dude move. You don't think a girl, okay, girl's okay. It's funny.

Guys, we think of funny. Like, how funny is it? Let me have this guy digging his fingers into shit. Girls just aren't funny. Or maybe Dante just keeps parking next to Pooh. Hang on one second. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Give any other friends you can go. I got some wickets. Who's having your tarrest ashes sitting there? Oh shit. I put headphones on. You put on the urn. Just shake it.

Motherfucker. Okay. I think it's somebody in there. I think it's a chick. You don't think it's a chick? No, I think it's somebody in there. I think it's a chick. You don't think it's a chick? No. I think it's a dude move. You think it's somebody in there?

I keep cars, but I would never do that. That's some crazy shit, Lauren. You're like a dick car right now. You take up like two spots, though, at times? Never. Never. It's not a young one. It's a young one.

Not a young one. Middle eight, like 35-year-old white guy, who is just the opposite of you. He goes to work every morning at 7 in the morning. He watches Dante's fucking, the way he's Jeep fucking, the footstools, the footrests come down. He blasts his music. This guy hates everything Dante has to wake him up

at night coming home. I think you're right. It's not a fan. It's just a guy in the neighborhood that hates him. I'm not a black boy. No, but not when I come in my neighborhood and turn it down. And I just, you know, I'm just do what I do

I'm gonna tell you right now. It's Ian That's my brother. That's my brother man. Hope troll I'll do it if it was a We had a video of Ian putting shit on Dante's hand We don't think if it happened three times why don't you set up a fucking camera That car doesn't have camera Coming out of a Dante's eye. It does have cameras.

It has cameras. But it doesn't have, you can't. Doesn't have poop cameras. I have poop cameras. I have poop cameras. Yo, I got bone cameras. I've had dudes take the caps off the gas cans too. They stole in the gas cans. What is they would?

Why wouldn't they? Why would you ever make shit in the next time? I hope they shit in your gas tank. That's fucking dumb fucking asshole. Maybe they hate your character on the spader show. Everything. Oh my God. Does he get a shit gun?

Oh my God. He's not in first of all. Bang, bang, bang. Oh, wait a second. We're still teaching him. I'm not. He's not gonna talk, man. Dan, he's not first of all We're still teaching him And then he's gonna fucking comment you can't know you did it. No, that wasn't bad I just think his time he was a little too excited that he got one He waited he's gonna got quiet then it got quiet. He gave it out. He got a real quiet. He was like, oh shit All right, here's it. I think it's somebody in the neighborhood definitely somebody with a dog and I don't think

I how big I want to know how big the shit is wasn't it was so little so it's a little dog There's got to be a guy with dog. You be someone that is don't see these dogs shit in the street and then picks it up Yeah, now you gotta go. You live in it up. Yeah. Now you got a dog. Henry, you live in nice neighborhoods. There's not a lot of dog shit. I mean, my neighborhood is nice now. Nice of the, what do you mean? I mean, it's broken, but it's not like a shit neighborhood.

People clean up their, look at me and Sam living with, Shester. So nice is, but I'm saying it's like, it's almost, it's, it's like a residential neighborhood. People clean up their dog shit in that neighborhood. It's not like, you can't walk in the car. It's not a long picture of fucking shitty neighborhood. Okay, here's my scenario the guy

We'll call him a guy I agree a guy He's in the neighborhood sees this fucking oak with a fur coat every fucking Walking dead truck And his dumb horn that he you know he's Never blowing what I've done it once and you pissed him off. It was out with his little pug F***ing tired has it fucking the rescue is probably a rescue. Yeah, some pub with an out one eye and a broken tail Walking on the street this fuck coming in all the time on his dumb phone can't you know hearing him breathe heavy as F*** out right

He's a fucking piece of shit. I'm the one who's got it. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you hear? He's a showmanist. You know I thought he said, get the fuck, what a piece of shit, fuck him.

You don't wanna put fucking dog shit on his hand. You should, you should, you should. And then he was coming out with his little problem one day. He saw you pulling and he fucking goes over and just, we picks up the dog shit with his bag because he does pick up his dog shit. And he just mushes a little shit. So easy, so easy.

If you're ready cleaning up your dog shit, I mean, you have it in your hand already just yeah right over there. You fucking handle I have a question don't think if you found out who did it honestly because you have a career You're not we don't we actually can't go around hitting people you know, I'm saying like fucking you would fucking If you would just take the fucking time the night in jail and the bullshit absolutely break it out after he's knocked Absolutely break it out after he's knocked out In his fucking joy I said and then drag him to the curb and break his ankle on the curb

After all this curbing would you Would you shit on his chest? Go on Would you shit on his chest? Staff room. That's the end. Go to the pool. Go azz on him. I would great just to shit on a guy who put shit on your handle. Just step on his dog. Do you think he's watching you clean it, though? Do you think he's sitting in his tent? I do.

I'm not putting it up every time. What's funny is, like, lying his arm. My car will sit for days. So it's like, he's never really got me where it's like oozing. Honey, honey, he's coming. got me where it's like oozing honey They watch you cleaning it like it's been hard So I could just hit the fucking thing and it just kind of drops off, but it is the third time You put fucking like razor blades underneath there so when they put their fingers up there, it's sliced into their fingers and make a shit inside of those.

It's part of the blood. If he goes in his mom's hands all, we're fucking cut up. She hates your dump truck. Fucking embarrassment to the camera. Can we please do a video blog for your podcast? We'll set up a hidden camera, dude, and we'll fucking do a whole thing where we approach the guy. It'll be so funny, dude. I love, Louis has the greatest ideas ever, but he doesn't have the budget of the means to back end of a box. I'm looking for investors, Sam. Can we please get a whole production and wake up real early and spend all, what are you

fucking a ghost investigation? Just go and going down the bomb, Dan, please. Actually, smelled that one. I smell it. It's a camera, really. It smelled like Dante's handle. I mean, I'm listening. What are you doing? We're going to take a break for people to piss.

We're going to go to the chatroom. Yeah, right now, you want to go? All right, go chatroom. I always just said Twitter handles before the break. So let's go to the chat room. They're gonna do Twitter So the one thing on this topic is Fred Grezz says I hope it was will silvence. Oh No, if it's not try I'm not supposed to talk about this I've been I've been we'll talk about it after but no, it's just we're not gonna talk but just go

We have some stuff on prior topics. Yeah, please absolutely angel Jackson says can you believe the only rock stars in the room are all comedians? Please absolutely, Andrew Jackson says can you believe the only rock stars in the room are all comedians? All right, I don't want mean shit. I don't want to troll the troll That's a lot of that today. There's a lot of pests. No pests I don't want to I think it was an interesting conversation. I'm glad you came on I thought it was fucking it was you never know what's on the other side So I don't I give you and fucking full credit for coming in and then, Paul Zee, I want to hear more troll stuff about me. Anybody saying anything about me?

No, a lot of positive stuff about me. A lot of positive stuff about me. Let's read some out. What about, listen to me. Pause it. I want positive shit out of you. That's all I want. Okay, I can't comment on this positive.

But not all about Lewis too. Find something about Dante. And nothing about Lawrence Titt. unless they have pictures of him. Please. I got knife song says I'm strictly here to support the podcast with my bright personality. That's fucking what? I know what I'm supposed to like that for some reason. I know I'm supposed to go.

I know there's a little part of it. No, we're going to hide in. Why can't we like that? I fucking like that. Right? You invented. I like that. He stands. I like what I'm hating that what else you got I liked him good Won't say I can

Jesus Takes that long to get positive someone says Bobby is a good cunt That's positive that's positive. Yeah, that's if you're an England. We're good at being a cunt Yeah, he's the good cut. No, that's good. I'm if you're Ireland England the good good dinosaur that you You're a good cut. No, that's good. If you're Ireland or England. The good dinosaur that will be? I hear a fucking yeah. Yeah, good. But a cut instead of a dinosaur.

That's right. It's a family of cunts. That's all I got for now. All the positives. I'll see you cunts later. All right, is there anything really good or interesting? Is it all fucking ball bus thing? Nobody had a fucking opinion?

They were just going crazy talking to each other. It was hard to make sense of it all. All right. Well, if you have a question in the chat, I asked him that. They really didn't have questions. Well, if you don't have questions, go for it. We're going to open up the phone lines maybe after for a couple, not fucking anything crazy, but a couple.

Bobby, we learned what? You're the two special announcements, too. Yes. Okay. Let's go through the Twitter's real quick. Deepo, what do you got? I'm on Twitter at R2 Depo across the board Dante At Dante Neural and what else?

Base for a Podcast on the right cast network. Ian, what do you got? You could hear my band at reverb nation comm slash love bullet actually I actually fucking really liked your band-aid. Thanks. I'm into punk. It was fucking guy nothing I Wanted nothing but to go And you like him some fake English accent. He's from Long Island I don't support you, NUMBER! I don't support you, NUMBER! But it was actually fucking great, man.

I really like that music, so I would like to... Can we play one of the songs on the show? Yeah, hell yeah. Alright, great. Let's see if we can get one of his songs in the show with that today. Lou, what do you got? Guys, follow me on Twitter at Louis J. Gomez and gomites.

Go to gomiscombry.com to check me out live got a lot of stuff coming up awesome What do you got Twitter Facebook Instagram not Sam not Sam calm? It's confusing is it? Yeah, the not Sam I never got is that Sam nope Yeah, I just want Sam can we change that no I have somebody at Twitter. We can change that. Can I get Sam on Twitter? I got I got just Sam if you can give me Sam on Twitter Facebook Instagram at Sam.com. I'll change it. I have connections All right good. Dude if you get Sam banned from Twitter, you will be a real ass dude. No, no, no Why would you say that? Because that'd be a real ass move this guy. Let me tell you something

He was trying to get a rise out of me I'll teach you how to do this. What do you got? Everything is at Richie Redding. At Richie Redding. Adrian? I'm not here for me. No, no, no, tell them my plugs again. Oh, yeah. Facebook and Instagram and Twitter are not same. And Sam Roberts, you know, Monday the Friday, 9

a.m. and night, Series XM. What do you got? At Chris Gopal on Twitter. Lauren. At Lauren Cabera, Twitter. Instagram. Every question for Richie. Yes. What age do you got at Chris Gopo on Twitter Lauren at Lauren Cabera Twitter Instagram every question for Richie Yes, what age do you stop being richie you become rich redding because Richie is a boy's name You can't be rich you in your forties and you're close. Do you go to dick? Hey, good now my grandfather's dick dick It just flows way better rich redding just kind of good stuck

I don't know maybe I put a J in there Who will be back should have gone early wow I think I think he ends right I don't support the show anymore All right cool uh what's up check it out hey. Hey, good news football fans. We got football fans in here. Yeah, yeah, actually you're you're a big football fan, aren't you? Yeah, I played fans for this year. Placement draft kings. It's great, man. I'm gonna play off. So underway and the big game. It's coming. Yeah, it's gonna be here before you know it. The bad news is that's when all is said and done and Another long dark offseason for you for the worst. Yeah, well, thankfully our friends at draftking.com have Fantasy football contest running through their conference

Championship games so you can still play win cash prizes this weekend and head into the offseason as fantasy a fantasy football champion. You can still have you ever won? Uh, yeah, I've won a couple of weeks. Yeah, let's say you do it if you don't know because you know, just pick a player, right? Stand of the salary cap and you could be on your way to victory. I'd like to win something in my life. Renew old rival rival rival. I really I'll run a team for you. How about that? like to win something in my life. Renew old rival rival rival.

I really want to team for you. How about that? Rivalries and create new ones by going head to head with your friends co-workers and fantasy players from all over the nation. That's this great nation of United States, which I love so much because I'm patriotic. Right, Lewis?

Yep. Your season long fantasy football league is over, but the excitement continues with one week contest this weekend at DraftKings.com. This is the last time you can play fantasy football. You sound like Rocky learning how to read and Rocky too. That should have got way more. We got it.

We got it. Three here too. Hey. Hey, you all fucking look up. Hey, I uh, there we go. Fuckin' Deepu fucking woke up. Hey Mick, I don't wanna do this. I just wanna fight. This is the last time you can play fantasy of ball until next season.

So make count. This isn't fantasy as usual, Lewis J Gomez. Yeah, no midgets, no fucking dudes with big dicks. Can you not ruin my read? What, that's my fantasy. They won't pay us Draft King this is draft Kings welcome to the big time How are you to draft kings calm right now? Enter promo code midget

Ah promo code midget dicks and get your 10% shut up. Don't say that. Sorry Midget Bigs what is called what is called? No, say that you're gonna ruin my add. I'm sorry I don't want to do this again this body you gotta do I'm not doing this again because you're a fucking idiot TF what is tea what is co TFV? I Just printed out and read it. What is co? T. I whatever total fat virgin my my my guy would if taken personal responsibility for that one

Dude first of all Sam. There's no question that you guys better than my guy I don't even refute that with you guys My guy was made from scraps from your guys TFV which I don't know what that is and play for free at your first Deposit you can take home. What, I'm not fucking freedom this unless that's right. That's definitely someone else's promo code. Yeah, that's someone else's promo code.

That's gotta be fixed. See, I mean, that was gonna happen. That's why I did all that funny stuff in the middle of it. Well anyways, we're back. How it use code Kelly, probably, right? Deepo, you're a smart man, and I think you're right, but I'm dumb, and I don't know.

And I'm dealing with Scopo who's The dumbest yes literally to the moon. He's just looking at the word I'm a chance Get on the phone we're rob right now use your fucking cell phone What do you fuck? He's the worst Lauren? Can you fucking text Rob and find out what the real code is? Lewis, can I I offered to take his job and you got mad at me and ban me from the show for four months and I didn't pay from the show for four months Did you ban have I didn't have no no ban people what am I fucking serious satellite? I don't ban people Fucking podcast above a fucking comedy club. Oh relax. Oh, I just want Adrian. Can I have Adrian? No? Of course not could have more It's above a fucking comedy club. Oh. Relax. I just want to aid you. Can I have aid you? No.

Of course not. You could have more. No, I can't. Maybe. We could talk about it. I'll switch Lauren for mine. You're out of your mind. You're out of your mind.

I'll trade my kid for Lauren. I trade your kid for Lauren. I will go to the phones right now. You guys want to call in? What's the number? Lauren. It is. Hold on.

Three four seven. Yeah. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. I trade your kid for orange. All right, we're going to the phones right now. You guys want to call in. What's the number, Lauren? It is. Hold on. 347. Yes, thank you. 347-983-YKWD or type in YKWD podcast.

One more time. 347-983-YKWD or YKWD podcast and to Skype. Yeah, if you want to Skype and video, use the Skype name. If you want to just to Skype in video, use the Skype name. If you want to just call in audio, use the number. Right now the lines are open. We will be opening it up right now. So call in.

We got somebody. All right, we got something. Turn it up by the way. Hey, what's up? Holy shit. Yeah, holy shit. Robert Kelly, you're on the YKWD with everybody. What's happening?

What's your name? Where are you from?KWD with everybody. What's happening? What's your name? Where you from? From Austin, Texas. What's happening? I'm telling man great show great show set out to everybody in the room. Is that your photo dude? Yeah, I made you I made you at Moon Tower last year. Oh, yeah, dude. I remember you he was sitting in cuspiro's last year. Oh yeah dude I remember you he was sitting in Kiss by Rose. That was uh I was trying to get Bobby to this food truck. That's not what it sounds like. First of all it was dinner time. So we got Bobby to go to love it. He's like yeah yeah yeah yeah sure, next time. No I didn't say it like, you're really fucking a bit of story after,

I didn't say yeah yeah yeah, I said yeah definitely I love to do it, it's just you know I don't wanna, I couldn't do it right then, I had to go do some other shit, I had a show I think, right? They were great, they were great, by the way, I gotta come down to Austin. Okay. I'm coming right now. Austin Okay Coming right now I see the video and I see Bobby's talking but I can't because it is a delay. Don't do that. Just stay with us Okay, that is a delay. It's gonna fucking freeze your brain. It's a it's like an alternate universe

Don't watch the video and listen to us Oh, that's alright, man Yeah, dude Austin is great and they have that moon tower festival It was a fucking blast. Have you ever done you've done no fest. We just done Montreal right just the biggest one the most important one You piece of shit. Yeah, but you did the smallest part of it Huge show you did a small show. Yeah, hold on buck. I got a thigh of a bone to pick what the fuck is it? Oh, sorry sorry fuck face really Zumanic we know my spot the fact that I even could read Bach from this far away. It was pretty good

You came back very angry. No, I came back very angry Would you say about Will's events? Dan Soder I had will pronounce my name on the show a while back and he did it right He did it right? Yes, you need Will Silventus accent in order to pronounce your name. Yeah. Fuck you, did it right.

So go ahead, what's up? What? What? Did I call him to your show? Yeah. All right. All right. All right, we love you.

All right, buddy, thanks for calling in. We'll talk to you later back. We got to give him back on. You want another one? Yeah, go ahead. Hey, what's up? What's your name? What are you calling from?

Steven from Ireland. Hey, what's up, buddy? You're on the show. We're here with everybody. Great microphone. Thank you. It's a, which we got. Snowball blue.

Super good. Anyway, I was wondering, why do you guys think that's the American comedy? It's just leaps and bounds ahead of most of the country's comedy. I don't mean the I don't understand what you're saying what You talk with an English accent. Just kind of a grigger Yeah, I don't know why he's coming down day been doing it longer I don't know why he's coming down today. Ben, do you want it longer? We've been doing it. Have we been going here?

It's been going on here for a long time. I don't know if that's an accurate statement. How far could they be? How far could I be? No, I think here's a real life. It's a cultural... Do people from around the world think there's a lot of people from Ireland and England

that don't think American comedians are better than their own do you think that American comedians are better? Of course. I think the way better. I'll cross the board to be honest. Michael McIntyre is doing pretty much hack stuff all the time and he's massive in the UK and Ireland. If we need God's will. Tommy Tannen.

Tommy Tannen is huge. Can I tell you why? Yeah. This is what I think. Because we have more comedy clubs, more comedians, and we have more places for comics to be on television. You guys have less places due to comedy and less comedians. So the guys you're going to see that are famous, it's like, you know, if you go to a local town,

the headliner, the local headliner there, is probably going to suck compared to the fucking headliners in New York City. You know what I mean? So I think that, you know, yes, I think Lewis is right. We've been doing it, I mean, Dante's right, we've been doing it longer. 1820s, man. I said you're right, but you're barely right. I, uh, I say you right now. I hate you right now. I'm not afraid of you.

I'm begging you, okay? I'll fight you. Dante and Vaudel Day is doing his act. I'm just slave. You think that's slave? What the hell are you talking about? Dante would be an expensive slave, holy shit dude. It's huge and funny funny somebody shit on his wagon

I would pay top dollar for dog shit who put shit on my belly Who rub shit on my horses saddle? I think you I think I like that not to hold on I think I thought a Dante I just can't I'm selling the room. I've performed in Ireland and I felt like the guys were more concerned about being right than funny Like they're making Did you also put on a fake accent in Ireland like you're doing? My name is Ritian adding

They were like really trying to make points constantly instead of just talking about themselves and being funny you know it's also hollywood i mean dude all the fucking biggest movies are here like you were cultivating entertainment in new york and l.a. it's just by the way i guarantee you there's fucking if you were to hide a whole there's a bunch of shit comics as well it's just like there's nobody's gonna beat where all of the entertainment is coming out of sam what do you think i don't know anything about international comedians. You can't.

We thought on the subject. Stop acting like you don't have a you're in the fucking comedy business. You have a comedy radio show. I'm making a subbook. Make it form a pit watch Ian. What do you think? Well, uh. Sleepin'. The fuck were you thinking? I like the song. I'm not equipped to make this decision.

I think you never have been overseas to perform comedy. If you tell me that they want to make facts and there's too much entertainment in the United States. So who do you believe? It's both of them. We're all together. The three of us. Three Migos. Got the band back together I think I think it's just because it's

not that many there that's all and the ones the ones that are there it's almost like you're you're fucking wardrobes are always like fucking eight years behind you know jeans that was sexy fucking six years ago we were warrior with music same thing the shit that we're into you guys get a little later it's just not comedy either biggest movies you guys the biggest movie in Ireland is going to be America's movie we've been doing it longer if you took away half the stages in New York City with the city get half as fun you should literally just do sports talk. That would be anything for us. Every time I see your face, I want to dig

writing for ESPN Radio. Um, no, but you're using across the board, okay? Movies, music, stand-up comedy, entertainment, American entertainment in general is the biggest across the board. In Africa, they're not watching some fucking African movies, I don't care. How much do you love saying across the board?

Across the board, the new podcast on guest digital, guys. Movie reviews, sports, everything. Across the board. I made the logo on my iPhone. Ha, ha, ha, ha. So, so they, I, but I do, I think there's funny guys in Ireland. I forget the guy's name. I did a podcast with them.

When I was in Dead Park. I was in Dead Park. Dead Bishop, maybe. I don't know, maybe. He's American. I did a podcast with them when I was in that part. I was in that part. That's Bishop, maybe. I don't know, maybe. He's American. No, there was a guy in that part. That's that's Bishop. Yeah, absolutely.

I moved back to New York recently. Well, no, I did a guy who's Irish comic. He was very funny, really funny. Little dude. Just, you know, it's not, it's a little more country, a little more political. It's, you know what I mean? It's a little, you know, plus that accent, man. He has It's what you know they mean it's a little you know plus that accent man

He has a podcast you know what mate I'm a good joke that you know I'm fucking firing them out at least first of all they don't say mate. Yeah, that's British That's British fuck off. I tried it was better than you guys all contributed. That's not true Yeah, they're a bunch. It's true. That's very true. All right, buddy. You have any more questions from Ireland? No, I was going to say, I think it could be right, because in Dublin, the capital of Ireland

there is like one open mic every week. Can you have to book months ahead in order to even get onto it? I think I've been looking to this down in for a while. I've done two sets told public own shows like where you couldn't what you couldn't do what just happened you know it's hilarious it's not hilarious just saying you know it's interesting that was the weirdest thing

On wikie w. We start someone's roll you it was like a movie. I don't even know what happened dude I don't even know it to it was like emotions I don't even know what it was like emotions Growing half laughing All right, bye buddy. Well listen good. I would stand up and then if you ever come to New York You know Don't mind the subway after midnight He a little snow What's up, boy, after midnight? Yeah. We'll eat yellow snow. What else we got?

We got any more? I don't know what you're saying. You wouldn't warn when she's looking. They will call in intensely at something? Yeah. It's the hottest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. It's unbelievable. You have a husband?

You know, cat. I hate his guts. They get in divorce. No, they're not. No, I'm kidding. No, I'm kidding. Are you in divorce? No!

That's him calling. We're in divorce? No! That's I'm calling We're in the wars. That's the prenup over the phone Yeah, what's up? You're what's your name? We call them from Hey, what's up Bobby? It's me go They say I'm Robert's favorites. No, no, no, no, no, I don't know. I think about it. What's up, man? Not it? What's up, man? What's up, eh, um, uh, what do you think about what Amy Schumer said about Candace? What did she say? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Candace, who? Candace? Candace, Dixon in your mouth? Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Oh

All right Never brought anything that was one of my guys What's your name? We are from oh John from Jersey Jersey hi, hey John. What's all of you? You're video man. What's up? I feel like you from? Oh, John from Jersey. From Jersey, hi. Hey, John, what's all of your video, man? What's happening? I feel like I've met John before. Where in Jersey? You probably. Everyone about me. Bobby Spence. I'm in Pompton Lakes. Bobby knows who I am. Yeah, what's up? How you doing, buddy? Hey, I just had another silly question. Uh, if you can answer it. That, that's software you use for the video stuff.

For the, for the YKWD. Yeah. Is it X split or is it? OBS dude. It's called D Po. OBS. We's OBS. All right cool. It looks like a Russian egg doll like one shot bigger than you Bobby Like that because you hate me. No, I love you very much, but it was it funny. Okay, buddy Thank you very much. And hey, do me a favor. Love you love the show. I love you very much, but it was it was okay, buddy. Thank you very much. And hey, do me a favor love you love the show. I love you too But I love your tree. Look at look at your tree. Look at your trees. I'll set up ready to go. Why is it so blown out? Why What the fuck we get it you like Anthony Cumia? I get us

How about my Mike? You know for a minute he put that cup perfectly out Not natural that was not naturally there logo out. He's never drank out of it. Like that's not natural. That was not naturally there. Logo out. He's never drank out of it. He's there. Nothing in it. I'm in. I'm in. I'm in.

All right. Thank you. Yeah, I'm sorry. Your headphones just fell off my bald head. All right, good. Thanks, man. Hi, buddy. I'll see you later.

That is great. That's a great little. I like that he did that. A little set up. Yes. I'm not bad. A little plug for the kumi show He's got a little fucking camera in the corner. I know what what it is

Can you fix the view on that? Yes, yeah, just say yeah, don't ever say no Because Adrian doesn't say no While deep who goes and then I go and he goes yeah, he needs a pause All right, so anyways you were talking about something uh... we if there's another call just let me know for your answer um so you another call

god hey what's your name where you from hey what's up Bobby is Ryan from uh... quinceylinno i was going on brother hi buddy how are you yeah doing good doing good a and i want to ask you uh... i didn't last week like all that i was gonna ask you a christmas you can change the bill but uh... how do you have the christmas present go to rap on the young rap on half and half which you know the

uh... uh... i'm not a kid dude like i didn't i don't like this fucking tradition my wife said nothing where the Santaence aren't wrapped and the presence from us are wrapped. Wait what? This I can speak on. Here's a this is crazy.

This I know. All right here's the problem. She goes, okay, we don't wrap the ones from Santa doesn't wrap gifts. Just he does. No he doesn't. No he does. Okay, there's not wrap gifts.

And it's a fact. He just throws the gifts in a bag. Maybe Latino Santa wraps gifts. There is no Fox lose says it's only white Because a lot of Mrs. Clothes Latina said is the same guy stole the car the the gifts out of the Wow too wordy. Well, we all just had a bunch of little stinkers there Okay, Latina Santa Claus bit didn't really work guys

there. It's fucking the Latino Santa Claus bit didn't really work, guys. Here's a problem with it because I let my wife do it. Okay, we'll do it. Here's a problem with it. The main gift was from Santa, which was this beautiful, awesome wood easel. On both side, one side you could paint on and draw on and it has a thing of a paper down the bat and the other side is... That one says awesome gift. That was better than the car. Why is it awesome gift was a drum set but anyway go ahead but I get my kid a car anyways that works and it has karaoke in the back and lights that are going to work with the iPod that's in it anyways you give me that or Santa giving that and he has a thing and he was what and you have custody and I gave it a whole family. If you may house,

and wake up he's there. He gets a resident father. He gets a ride to school, not a train ride. My kid didn't get a metro card. So anyways, are you done? Two rooms. A good night, kid. No, I agree.

I agree. Yeah, you have to wrap your gifts so they don't get wet on the way over to his house. Even the guy on the phone smash me now. What did you say, dude? No, I was going to say I actually have a serious question for you this week. So I wanted you to maybe take us back in time, younger Bobby Kelly. What was the moment? What was going on when you realized, you know what, this stand-up thing?

This is what I want to do. This is what I want to up thing this is what i want to do to put out one of the estimate i like i want to get up and i want to make people laugh on make people feel good what was going on at that i'll be honest with you this weekend at the end that's the best weekend i'm i mean he's still a bit me i'm so fucking i'm so fucking, I'm so, listen, I was on five TV shows last year. Five TV shows. I had an hour special on Comedy Central and Netflix last year.

That count as the TV shows. And I don't know what the fuck you have to do. And maybe it is, maybe I'm fucking whatever mediocre. Maybe Ian's right. Oh, absolutely. Maybe mediocre, are you kidding me? You're an international superstar. and and maybe it is maybe i maybe i'm i'm fucking whatever mediocre maybe he ends right all absolutely maybe the over you can't be your national superstar i'm not a kid dude i fucking i didn't sell i i didn't sell out every single show at bananas i don't fucking get it

that's bananas it doesn't matter i should be in jersey but you're lips again what do you think about the donuts again? Yeah. I don't get it. I don't fucking... I don't understand. I think it's just a harder grind, man. I mean, I look at my act and I say, okay, maybe it's my act. Maybe I talk about, you know, the shit I talk about

is too little edgy I swear to my... Whatever the fuck it is. Maybe I write fucking cleaner jokes. Maybe I go on fucking TV and do monologue humor with... Maybe that's the way to do it. Maybe that's the way to do it. that's the way to do it because guys Did a sell-in-out fucking shows? Okay, it's great. It's Snapchat. It's coming up. Bobby. It's coming. Five fucking shows an hour special

I'm saying it's it's it's progressively you're your audience is Corridor. Yeah, I need to do it when I have a liver, you know, I said I need to do it when I can what I don't need help to the stage I don't need help to the stage. I don't have two years. I have two years. Best, best case scenario. What would, what would you be happy with? Honestly, have you even thought about what that success looks like? Do you know I was on a fucking TV show last year for 10 episodes?

Five TV shows. We get it, Bob. But I was on Louis for three and then same channel for 10. That's 13. Ten years ago, you were like when I was on tourgasm, that fucking show, I was selling the fuck out of every venue. This just, great show, great show.

Well, I was like, I carried away. This, but there's so much fucking stuff out there now. There's so many comedians, there's so many mediums to do it. It's fucking crazy, man. You know, the, the, the share, it's being split between a lot more people at this point. And also, with social media and YouTube, I mean, there's literally like people that become Vine stars, who they weren't even in the game.

They weren't even in the race 10 years ago. And now there's thousands of them, right? That's like, you're competing with a fucking kid who shows his abs on Vine, and he'll go do public appearances, and young people are. Dude, stand up shows selling out at three o'clock in the afternoon with somebody who's in the business for fucking a couple years. Yeah. Doesn't have an hour.

Okay. So it's a different game and I'm trying, you know, I get KC mailing, I don't know what the fuck, ma- ma- ma- mailing list, fucking all the social media, blah, blah, blah, blah, I thought you just be funny and that would prevail. I don't know. I'm hoping that that's what it's worth. Yeah, but you also, it's looked, dude. You said this to me a while ago,

it's like you never really satisfied with what it is. And the truth, there's a lot of comics. A lot of comics that work the comedy, so a lot of comics that are doing very well that would love to be in the position that you're in and have the type of following that you have because you have people that do come out. And I, you go on the road. I mean, there have the type of following that you have because you have people that do come out and I've you on the road I mean there's a lot

of people who have no audience at all and you've kind of built in your own audience we talked about it before on the show it's like you were never gifted like you're 100,000 Twitter followers none of them were gifts you weren't like on some fucking MTV guy code show but all of those fucking people came from you doing radio the real a lot of look at man dude I always said this. I know, I'm gonna Twitter audit on you, it said. You have a 90,000, you have 90,000 Twitter's, 10%, 20% of them.

That's it, because if I have a 90,000 people on Twitter, I should sell out on my shows. They should be sold out because I don't need to 1000 people to go on a weekend. You could run us really just stand up, there's a lot of people that listen to this podcast that don't watch stand up. They hate stand up.

It's like, I call you from Ireland. I know, I can't do that. That's why I was telling Ian that this fan thing, it's like you guys are the most, they're the ones, it's weird too, because I think that minorities,

and like I always say this, they have a people. They have a fucking people. And as me, I'm a white dude. You know, my people don't show the fuck up. You guys got a Santa Claus, we got a people. You know what I'm saying? Like, seriously, like you need your people to get behind you. You need your fans to get behind you.

You need this the most important part. And to build that shit up from scratch, you know, when some people are given that, just given here, you have half our material. Here's fucking millions of people that you're exposed to. That's fucking crazy. So I have no fucking idea, dude. I don't know, you know, this comedy thing,

I questioned it a lot. I could list this weekend, I was like, I don't know how much longer I can fucking do. You question it, you don't know that that's what you should be doing. Is that what you mean by question? You question the comedy thing? Like what do you mean by that?

You were the greatest comedian I've ever seen my entire life. That's the thing. You hang up on him. No, if this is what you're supposed to do, you're done. I think this is guy with the shirt. Bobby's doing a speaking spell on his phone right now.

This guy is one of the best comed's doing a speaking spell on his phone right now This guy is one of the best comedians ever. I love you Bobby the anti-troll though. I have I've Siri What a fucking spirit I'll tell you I'll tell you what it does It's Ian's fucking bass player. I don't know. From a shit fuck. The Towers. He's the bass player.

Boo. Listen. I actually, but I think I think I'm to blame for some of those two. I really am. I heard Kevin Hart on Howard, who I fucking love and who did invent radios. We know it. I do love Howard. I fucking listen to him all the time.

Every fucking day I listen to him. I think he's fucking great. He had Kevin Hart on it. Kevin, he's like, why are you in shape? He goes, because that's part of my deal. You know, they're watching me on TV. If they can't, if they don't want to look at me physically, if there's, if I'm fucking, you know, out of shape or I'm fucked up, that's part of my deal.

Like they don't want to see a fat singer of, they don't want to see an out of shape, piece of shit, that's part of my deal. Like they don't wanna see a fat singer of, they don't wanna see an out of shape piece of shit, fucking weird dude in a band. You have that image. That image, yeah, but that image is part of the part that's that they're buying. It's like, you know, so we got it. No, but you know what I'm saying?

So you have to be good at your fucking instrument, you have to write good songs, and you have to present yourself in the right way. I think, you know, that's why I started going to the gym songs, and you have to present yourself in the right way. I think, you know, that's why I started going on the gym again, I'm like, dude, I gotta get my shit together. And sometimes it pushes you, I think.

Sometimes it makes you write more. Is what I would ask you, what does success look like to you? Cause I think sometimes we push, we push, we push, and then ask you what it looks like. It's got brown hair, it's two and a half years old, and it's name is Max. Oh brown hair, it's two and a half years old, and its name is Max. Oh, fuck. I was fucking disgusting.

Next week on The Wike Vag, I'm gonna spit you right in the face with this bottle of milk. The loses are gonna hit me in the back. Just you suck. Ha, ha, ha, ha. What happened to the Bobby Kelly that put a fucking comtell on Big J.O.K.R.C.S. and his door handle at a hotel?

He's still there. Fuck. Anyways dude, I don't fucking know. I don't know. I think that like I said to you, you know this. I think it was, I think you're paying and you're shit motivates you to become better and the shit that's what gets you to the next level. Literally for Dante, it's shit on his door handle. So I have no idea. So talk, so talk about going to the gym and I get in shape for your act. No, you don't get more questions. This guy is taking over the whole show.

You know, somebody who's, you know, that big, if he was to get in shape and get a lot thinner, do you think that would take away from his act? Even though he's still a great artist. But the fact that he would lose a lot of weight. John Bennett, take away from his job and stuff. John Bennett did lose a lot of weight. Yeah. I don't know, dude. I'm going to jump in stuff. Jumping at did lose a lot of weight.

I don't know, dude. I can't answer that for Ralfey, but I know for myself that if I lost weight and got into shape, I would get more roles on TV. I would definitely get more stuff, auditions that I get. Well, I know that. I know that that's my fault. There's auditions that I go on that physically. I just don't fit.

I don't know if that's true, though. You you get auditions also because you're a heavier guy. Like Dante looks like a certain type. He's gonna get an audition. So you're, here's the thing, Bob, you, I love you. You're a good looking guy for your age. But you're never, you're never going to be fucking handsome leading man. If I were you, I mean, from an acting perspective, and a casting perspective, I would say fat Bobby is the way to go. Double down. Sam, it's to be 600 pounds. Sam looks like a guy that was trapped on an island for a year and a half.

Why would you attack me? I don't know. I didn't even say I was that. You look like a man that you just lost a lot of weight. He looks like they were hydrated. I'm looking at you at your scruff and your man. What is this called a filtrum and? I don't appreciate it. We'll let this go on sit back in your chair fuck face Thank you for calling buddy. You're the best. I'll see you later. Thank you for calling. Hey, we'll see you guys

Um, no, this guy's great. He actually go fuck on this We'll called Bob That was the gigs. Oh the gigs. What's up? Hey, what's up Bobby? Where you from? Sorry? It's Matt from Jersey. What's up, Matt? It's up Jersey. It's just Matt Geiger. Yeah, it's Matt Geiger. Hey, what's up, Matt? What's up deep who? Nothing I was just calling because I thought it was kind of fucked up You were giving the stuff away to the philly comics that I brought for you What was it? What happened? He brought some t-shirts for us as presence on the Christmas episode and you gave them I guess to

Ducatin buddy. Yeah, let me tell you something Well, what I give him oh you know what now? I know you're Money You're there's a lot of money money seven dollars in the bank account I didn't have any family. I did not give that to them like out of just hey you guys are cool They need those things It's the winter But like if you bake the cake I would have to give it to them because they were hungry Yeah, you understand me got blackheads walking around with your t-shirt wrapped around their head like a do-reg Yeah, well then the logo is not out so they can't see anything

No, I'm just kidding, Bob. Oh, great job. Oh, good job. Oh, chat bomb, or color bandana. Yeah, yeah, you get the fuck the chat. The sky band. The sky band, the first to get it. All right, buddy.

What's up? No, I just wanted to say, I actually I want to say something up on you. I got a chance to go to the village underground over the weekend. Yeah. I saw Marina who was hilarious. Yeah, Marina's very...

Marina Franklin is fucking very funny. Yeah, I got a chance to talk to her for a minute, but... And I saw a soda too. I just wanted to tell all the fans out there that if anybody is around this city that they need to go see you guys because every time I've seen one of you guys that's been on the show, it's been hilarious. Thank you, man. I really appreciate that. Yeah, yeah.

Right by the time. And thanks for the t-shirts. And thanks for helping the little homeless Philly comic set. I need to close. And wait, have you seen Scopo? I'll be at the village lantern tonight. Have I seen Scopo? Uh, no, I haven't seen Scopo.

All right, buddy. Thanks a lot, man. I'll talk to you later. I'll be having a good night. I wanted to go back to this Christmas present shit Okay, okay real quick. Do you celebrate Christmas in your religion? Yeah, my religion sure What are you what nationality are you? I'm a Tali and Irish So we this is the problem with the not wrapping the gift shit. Yeah.

I'm going back to this. Oh yeah. Okay, here's the problem. I let it do it. The main gift was not wrapped. Right. So what does he come out do? Comes out and plays with the fucking greatest gift ever.

He wants nothing to do. What are you doing it wrong? With the other fucking gifts. This is what you do. Yeah. You have the main gifts unrapped Yeah, you celebrate all morning with them Then you have some food and you go back around noon and you unwrap the stuff under the tree. We did that bonus gifts

No, dude, we did that. He didn't he's like fuck. I don't I don't want a box. He's three isn't he two and a half Not interested in box yet. Yeah, dude. It's like the Christmas today Here's a problem wrap the fucking gifts fuck all you dude wrap everything everything that's it Thank wrap everything fuck this weird Santa Claus sitting fucking all right We know what Santa Claus dropped it off in the morning. We got up and we wrapped them because that's what the fuck We do we're great parents Easy parenting so you're saying you agree with my wife? Yeah, yeah, I never had Santa Rep presents when I was very...

I didn't have Santa either. I had Rep Santa Rep presents. No, your Santa was rapping. He was a yo-yo, yo! Man, request me. Ah, well I was fucked up. That was a great thing. That was a Christmas wrap.

I mean, I'm weird about that. Like, telling a kid that they're Santa and then you break his fucking heart later and tell him there's no Santa. I don't think a kid ever, I think a kid eases into that. I was fucking... I'm telling me that there's no Santa.

I'm not fucking... What's wrong with you? You're really evil person. No magic in your household. She just became hotter to me. I'm not gonna come in here now. Why? Drag it lie.

Why are you gonna lie to your kids for so long? Okay, so let me say this. First of all, you're gonna have a kid and you're not gonna tell him those Santa Claus. Probably not. Well, we broke her. That was easy. I didn't tell my daughter that we had finished. It was a myth and we bought the gifts.

I wasn't giving. How can you tell her from behind bars? They're probably just gonna find out from the internet. She knew that because you did. It's fucking magical, dude. They're kids. They should have a sense of innocence. They should grow up and then you break their fucking heart.

Let me say this alone. The kid doesn't even understand what San is until this year. You know what I'm saying? He, my son, he doesn't even know. He, at three, a little bit. See, my kid six months old. And he really fucking got it this year. And it was fucking amazing.

And yet later on in life, he'll learn that it's not real. But the truth of the matter is, there's certain hurdles in life. They're going to have to have the heart perk in certain times in life. It's actually a good lesson to learn. I didn't have a brain washroom in to believe in something. Brain wash. It's sure because they don't go to the bathroom. They don't go to fucking till you brain washroom.

Here's the deal. It's the deal. You don't go. They don't go fuck until you bring Here's a deal now every fucking show every cartoon every Mickey Mouse thing every with Santa If I tell him there's no Santa those shows suck now, too Yeah, cuz he's gonna like he's not right dude Fuck you let the kid believe in Santa Easter bunny all that you weren't fucked up when you found out No, no, you don't even fucking remember. I remember, I remember clear as day. I remember when I found out that there was no tooth fairy because I was still awake and my drunk uncle just came in

and fucking put a doll on my skin day. I'm awake. I'm just joking me off. I found all my teeth. My mom kept them in her bedside. Like, what are all these fucking babies? I'm the witch. I never really bought the Easter Bunny.

That's actually a dead hook of your father killed Santa Claus I here's the thing I remember my sister kind of letting me on to it She would be sarcastic. She was two years older than me and she used to cast like say so I just kind of got it You have a sister I mean older sister. Oh my genius e-go mess. I'm better Really would you meet her she works at levity she says she works at levity live Waitress, so let me live your sister's a waitress at levity live. Is she hot? She works at levity oh What the hell is it?

Being polite oh, yeah, no, she's not hot. Oh, how old is she? She looks like a shorter, whiter me. Oh. Right. Hmm. All right. All right. You know, I just, you know, first of all, it's also gonna change once you have a kid. There's a lot of shit you say before you have a kid like,

I, I, I thought I was gonna get my kid circumcised until I fucking held my kid in my hands and I was like, no, I'm not letting somebody put a knife to my son's fucking body. That's crazy. My kid has to have that fucking awful thing. Yeah, but you know what, the numbers put a knife to my son's fucking body. That's crazy. Now you can ask them that fucking awful thing Yeah, but you know what the numbers are changing right now. It's like 50 50 people I know pretty dick. You got a pretty good you have you say Sam you you I mean you had that soup dumpling dick for a long time

I got sure you're supposed to know it's 19 said you can't have a weird elephant dick and that head that's too much Just all that coming. It looks like a fucking Dr. Seuss character. Woo! You got to circumcise babies because they don't know what's going on. Like who cares if that? Like they're going to forget that they're in pain with it. But why did you get a circumcise in 19 was it because aesthetically you just want to have- That is cleated to fucking gross this thing ever.

His dick used to fill up with piss, like a soup dumpling. And then he'd have to pop. In that- He'd have to pop his fucking- The end of his dick. No. That is like two or three percent of people, shit like that happen.

It's actually, he had a fucked up dick. Dude, that's not- His dick couldn't come out of the pee hole. His pee couldn't come out of the dick. No, his dick, the helmet couldn't pop out. He didn't roll back. There are medical ways to describe this that are probably more like flaring and accurate. I don't have time. We

have a call. Oh, how painful was that? No, like, what's your name? What you out? The skin like, it was a hang on one sec. We call some weird problems. I'm calling out the cookie. Apple cookie. We're talking about Sam Roberts dick. Just hang on one second. And that's not these Sam Roberts dick. It's Sam Roberts's dick. Thank you, man.

It's not Sam Roberts. That's the same. I'm not Sam. Hang on one second, call Sam. No, Sam, dick. Ask this question. I haven't forgot what the fuck it was. No, you haven't.

How much did it hurt? How painful was it when they knocked you out? And then they're like, it should only be like, it'll be like a day and a half. Where do you go to the doctors? Fucking projects. What do you mean painful? I have I have health care beyond you could ever understand. It's help your mind not health. It's I could be Imagine like a witch doctor bathing Dante and chicken blood Just like Baving Dante and chicken blood. So, did it hurt? Just think, where'd it go then?

Unibody hitting the day. Fuckin' assholes. I got my penics out in court. Oh my God. They did it with the pencil. I hate you. And it go ahead. I hate you.

I hate you. You put poop on the car protection. I hate you all so much. They did it in the back of my jeep it honestly killed i would have been out of the work currently what happened but good

uh... i got a question for louis i don't know i swear i heard an old uh... we didn't get scared where he said that uh... he was going to get it's own circumcised but uh... apparently the doctor said that it wasn't big enough yet well that's not what happened that i'll tell you what happened, which is almost true. It's almost true Thank you the doctor came in and They said that the next morning it would like come out more it wasn't it didn't become bigger in a fucking day They said they don't want to do it that night because it was like shriveled up

And they said they're gonna come back the next day and it was gonna come out more. He's got Lewis Jacob and his dick. Yeah! James has got a small dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, man, that's a big dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Max has a bigger dick. Max has a bigger dick. We're gonna trade dick pics next time I'm on the show.

My kid's got a dick pic. My kid's got a nice dick. And my kid's got a big dick. And it has to be illegal. No, we're not gonna show it to the fans. I'll compare baby dick to you. I'm gonna bring my son in. First of all, I'm not gonna have my wife catch me taking pictures.

What are you doing? It's not a legal take. Take a picture. And you have to be in the picture. There's the picture so you can't just Google big, big, big dick. Today's newspaper right next to you. And your face. A big African man thingo baby dick.

There's probably a picture of baby, your baby's dick on your phone. And something happens to you. Yeah. And then they look to your phone. You just have a little bit of you smiling next to it as you present it. What if it's my kids' dick next to you? Okay, and we join them together. And this rule is next to them in our heads.

And then you're hard dick in the next picture. Lauren, you have a bit of a blue. What if we do this? We'll measure our dicks. Hang on, baby dicks. Andre, I mean, I'm gonna have to. I thought you were just trying to take over the podcast. I just wanted to say, what do you,

you've been with guys who are an uncircumcised? No, I've never even seen an uncircumcised So like I've seen a lot with that creepy you out. That's what your husband's leaving you Would that creepy you out is that a I don't know I don't know it's never You show her your dick right now to see if it would I'm no I'm circumcised I'm circumcised oh you are yeah Oh, you have a really I was circumcised and I wanted my kid to look like me. I know you are you circumcised Are you circumcised? You circumcised? Yeah, fresh cut What about you? I am but they they they could have took a little more

You're a circumcised I have too much dick son. No, no the skin. I have like I have a little bit of an overlap of skin what yeah, you got like a two skin No, no, it's just a little more They should what do you got depo? I got a full-blown force gun man. Well, can we see it? No take it out With that dick I will tell you right now if they would have done it tell you right now, if they would have done it. You tell me now, go ahead. If they would have done it right then and there, he would be circumcised, because I would have just let him do it.

But the doctor came in there like, oh, we're just going to do it in the morning. We want to let him come out more. So you know, I got fucking hit. I got hit. I got a hate mail from people after I got my, they were you fucking mutilized. It's kind of fucked up, dude.

Yeah, I know, but here's the, you're the research on it. It's fucked up. OK, here's the deal. This is another fucking, why don't you email me that shit before I have the kid and give me the information if they instead of fucking just Telling me I'm gonna you do the research you psychopath because I Assume that you're sent me so much. Let me just say this. I was just assuming fuck. I got circumcised everybody No, go to circumcise Irish Catholic. That's what we've done

Yeah, I didn't even think about it. And then after it happened, I got all this fucking hate mail. Like you're a piece of shit, you fucking mutilated your kids. Have you ever heard of the blood stained, man? And it's like this, it's like dude, send me that shit first. Have you ever seen a baby piece of circumcised? No.

I thought I did. I saw a bris. I saw a bris. I saw a bris. I was a no-s, but you're far away. I was in a pnoem, but you're far away. I was eating a fucking bagel with cream cheese along. I did nothing for me. You wouldn't throw the fucking forcekin' on my bag.

You're interested in the video. Yeah, but that's because there's a whole online anti-circumcision advocacy campaign that's happening. And why is it bad? They say that it hurts the baby. It does hurt the baby. There are just as many people, because I had the blood stainainment on my show,

who are the biggest, they go around, they're old men, and they wear all white, and they have blood stains on their crutches. And they walk around in a protest, and they have giant signs. That's crazy. And they have giant signs, because they're very anti-circumcision.

But the same number of people that are caught, yeah, really. The same number of people that that we're calling up and being like, it's brutal and blah, blah, blah. The same number of people we're calling and saying, I saw my son get circumcised and make a sound. If your kid doesn't make a sound as they're slicing him to his dick, your kid is the anti Christ. Bro, I didn't make a sound. Yeah, I can't also cry. Besides, yeah, that's 20s hunger. Yeah, but that's not true.

Dude, listen, me, there's nerve endings in your dick. This is science. This is old school shit This shouldn't like the 60s that they used to tell people like oh, yeah, they don't feel it at all. Maybe he's don't feel pain That's what they used to tell people right you will fucking feel it if they slice into your dick They give you a lot of static scope. Oh does your no your half of foreskin have feelings. I don't think so now It's like the 2016 now Do any research on this first of all features made me read so much shit about this I was you make you read more the only the only people that are how she gave you books on relationships the only

you books on relationships. The only. She also dumped you. Rejoice. She's also with a black guy right now. No, I'm not. She's not. She's not. She could be. She's not. Sorry.

She's not with a black guy. He's put a weekend all the way. That's too far. That's what I said. Let me ask you. Let me ask you a question. If you're, if beaches, if hooks it, once you hooks up with a new guy,

would you be, if he was a, like, I like Dante? Take this big old tape bitch. Yeah, just, like, I like him. Extra large tape. There it is. The other end word, the new guy. Breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe. All right, the guy,

all right. But she's set up in breathe. You fucking, you fucking Norton? Or you fucking, all guy. What you said up in brief. You fucking, you fucking Norton or you fucking. Listen, a white guy with a great job lives in a house, blah, blah, blah, a lives in Jersey or do like Dante, Haaslin. Shit at her fingernails every time he fingers, she gets an infection.

I'm not Haaslin. What are you talking about? I'm not doing you. I going the other guy. It's not he looks like you though. He's a black guy black guy Big in a bone is here dude if I take mother fucking like that like bigger than you if Beatrice brought a fucking guy that looked like Dante around my son. I would be there to death with a hammer really I really mean that I'm gonna play this in court someday, yeah. Yeah. Oh. Exhibit A.

Here's your under oath. Making the murderer too. No offense, Dante. But it's a painful image. No, I'm taking. It's a painful image to have my son's mother pounded out by a gigantic black guy with a wound in his ear Don't stop. I love beaches stop now. I'm fucking I'm free I'm freaking I'm sorry. I don't care. She's fine. I got Bobby hard. She's gonna hate

It was fine with the witch doctor now. It was a pound and bitches. That's a promise So you so you so you wanted me to fucking I told beaches I wouldn't talk about a relationship at all on. So you're not, so I'm not talking about it. That is not a real ass, too. I'm just not, I'm gonna respect my son's mother's wishes to not talk about a relationship on podcasts. I'm fucking, anytime somebody goes my son's wife, mother's wishes. I know, but the wishes part bugs me. She gave me wishes and I respect

Real-ass cock second fucking I'm telling you why you know, I just don't want to talk about Take a lot I'm getting with him you go to fuck I know but you I love Louis listen good I help I actually don't be guys get back together someday. I hope that you become literally not talking about the relationship. I hope that you become very successful at whatever fucking chain of gas stations you want to follow, podcasting or whatever, and then you get back together. I can live inside. What? And he can live inside again?

You're a fucking party pool. Why don't you pitch though? Yeah, I'm just fake how he pitches anyways You know what you brought up you brought up a funny thing. Well, I'm gonna segue into this because stupid Lewis shut down I can't like I said said, I fucking eat. If she says, hey, you eat the brain, he's just looking around like, what the fuck's happening? If she says, hey, do me a favor, don't talk about a religious fuck podcast.

No, I get it, I get it. I'm gonna fucking, all right, shut it. I can't really do much except sit here. I know, buddy, I know. We're gonna respect your wishes with the son of the mother of the child, of the father of the Puerto Rican, of the real house dude wishes.

Sout. of the father of the Puerto Rican of the real house to wishes. This game of thrones, I must respect the wishes of the queen of the war of the king. You fucking asshole. You should turn in your tattoos Stop looking at Ian Not they taking Ian home today Not you all right, so we'll switch it up you actually You're serious

When you when you break Lewis, he's broken. Come back. We put him on tilt. Come on. I've only seen it two times on this podcast. Gary Coleman did it. I did it. I listened. Anyway, we will move.

I'm trying to segue. You get out. segue. Wait, can we talk about how I might start selling my dirty underwear? What? $1,000 right now. Why is this how the fuck? Where you gonna get that money?

Bees account. Bees boyfriend account. I'm kidding. We don't talk about it. I'm sorry. We don't talk about it. We don't talk about it. Don't talk about it.

Sorry. People have wishes. First rule of rule of rule is. You know what? He's a wish. He's a fucking. We don't talk about People have wishes First rule of rules, you know what he's a wish Wishes Did take it Making me mad and it's not my chick

That was disrespect No, I apologize. I apologize. I don't care. I take a call. We're going to segue. What's your name? You're a segue call. Petrus.

No, I got it. I'm sorry. Keep a fuck of it. We'll take this down for you. Well, you from what's your name? Hey, it's Gris from Philly. What's up, Gris? Hey, I was wondering how Sam feels about his new timeslot. I mean, it's Gris from Philly. What's up Gris? I was wondering how Sam feels about his new time slot.

I mean, it's not new anymore. I've been there since September, I guess. You don't have to fucking judge him. Just answer the question. I like the time slot. I like doing the show at night. Would you rather do it during the day? I mean, do it during the time... At three? I'd rather do it at three. But I like doing it at nine. But I would rather do it at three p.m. I think I'm missing a car in the building. Yeah, man. Hey, do you look how do you like the the the Bob and Sam show you miss that You didn't mention I do miss that. Thank you. I do miss that

All right, buddy. Thanks. You call him Philly. We'll talk to you later So you actually mentioned something so you know Um, so you you actually mentioned something so unit. I it's not okay. She thought I could sell you around the where on Well, some fucking site. It's like dirty underwear for a lot of money Yeah, they'll give you like 80 bucks 80 hundred bucks or for a hundred yeah How is that not just a hundred? How often do the people buy them? I think all the time. So you could just do like three paroday and match your job.

Right. So the finish. But what I don't like is that you have, they send you in the mail. So get a P.O. box, you're fucking lunatic. Yeah. Get a P.O. box. Yeah.

Then I'm like, I'm sending it anywhere out, then I gotta go buy more underwear. Yeah, you're getting 80 bucks. I mean, it was $100. I'm really, I'm like, what are they? You're making 80, more underwear Yeah, you're getting 80 bucks What are you making? You're making 80 hundred bucks you can buy a lot of under what are you not much 80 hundred is? That's fucking amazing that it becomes like a 80 to a hundred bucks. What are they? No, no, no, no, no, no, 80 hundred Is that a billion dollars?

I think they made a package like a Ziploc bag. They have a case. They send you the underpans to put it. No, you buy them and just wear them and they also have a financial massacus where guys just buy you shit. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they buy you shit and then you do some videos. Just walk, can we stop?

She's married. Okay, she has a house and can we stop? She's married. Okay, she has a house in here. Can we stop? We're literally fucking making this girl some panty selling fucking haul. That's crazy to make. Was her idea? Isn't it?

That's an amazing idea. And you should really do that. Every year, I should do that. If you could sell your dirty panties, would you sell them? I would sell my panties. For $800, yeah, I would do it. Let me ask you, your gunga dind.

Would you sell Sam's panties? I sell mine too. Yeah, I would do it. Would you let me ask you your gonga then would you sell Sam's panties? I saw mine too. Yeah, you would I'd sell anybody's You're not a business for yourself, and would you sell your panties? Yeah, of course. How much money would how much ten bucks? $20 bucks a hundred bucks 30 bucks 20 bucks. Yeah, I don't so 20 bucks for your panties. I would do mine. I'll take your panties Give them I'll give you a hundred dollars for your panties. Yeah, you get him I wonder where I will tear his Pants off his body What kind of money what kind of read did you give this guy?

He's totally shut down Is it one man take my panties? I'll blow everybody I'm so good Dude I'm a fucking duck since the Wow Right to back I tell mine for $4,000 $4,400.

$4,100? $4,100, that'd be your price. $4,100. I would sell mine, I would sell my panties. I would sell mine for $100. $100 a panty. I mean, with ball sweat, and maybe- We'll exercibe.

An ingrown hair juice. I'll do it for $85. And Bobby's could double as a tarp, too. So, I'm gonna barbeque in that ring. Yozky double as a mace. I'll green guy. Yozuki double his mace. Him. I'll take that. Fuck, I got the mace.

I'm just gonna work. Woo. Are you unfollowing me again? No. No. It was good. I thought I was. Yeah.

I was talking about douchey. That was like, I get me doucheivers. All right, Liz, we're gonna wrap this fucking show up. It's been two hours. This is actually actually I can go on for another fucking hour Do more do more what you want to keep going? Let's go. I will do more I will do a couple of the 20 minutes I will take two more phone calls. Yes. All right. You get a piss, but keep it doing more No, you can't say do more than least. I had a piss soap for the past 45 fucking minutes. Oh God. All right Go ahead piss anyways. We're gonna wrap up. We're gonna wrap the show. It's gonna take 15 minutes to wrap up.

Anyways, because we go through the whole thing and I have to give Lewis an apology. I think you may have no going on. I'm not mad. Let me tell you. I don't want to deal with the shit that comes from talking about my ex on podcasts, which I did literally was part of the reason that we broke up. Like part of the, it just like the amount of shit that I've said on podcasts. I would agree with that, but I live it. So, Bob, you have a phone. Yeah, you tolerate it. That's the problem. You do me a favor. Is it back again? Well, your name, where you from? He's gone. Hey, hung up. Okay. Anyways, yeah, I don't know if I'd sell my fucking panties. Okay Anyways

Yeah, I don't know if I'd sell my fucking panties. That's kind of you wouldn't do that Not honestly if they didn't know because I'd have to One of my son was one day was like what are you doing dad? I'd be like I'm selling my panties get your college for it It's Bob. What's your name? Where you from this is what's his name? Which I'm back. What's up? I have a question actually. Yeah, go ahead. I'm going I'm coming to New York next month and It's been one of my dreams to go to the comedy seller and How hard is it to get it now? No, they only put out the the line up for a couple of weeks

Just make a reservation now, buddy. Go on the line make a reservation for whatever show you want and i don't think you have to worry about whatever show you pick is gonna be fucking stacked they never not put on a fucking amazing show and pretty much every show has a guest appearance by somebody famous you know Louis rock Romano whoever Amy so I just, that's how you do it. What's your top three best comedy, Comedy Spots in New York? Okay, let's just... Comedy Solo, The Stand, and what's another one?

Stand up. Stand up, New York. I heard New York comedy clubs becoming good again. By the way, if you ask any comic that, they just go in the order of whoever books them the most Well, I think I think they're all the same, but I mean the seller was fucking great. All right buddy. Thanks man Well, thank you. I hope to see you all up there when I come We

All right, well yeah, I really I'm glad that you apologize to Lewis because I think you You don't he's ball busing first of all me and Dante like Don't tell me about ball busing No need for the apology because we fuck what are you looking at right now? I'm just dude your eyes Magical so fucked up I'm a little stone. Yeah, he's like yummy No, but no, just no clearly. I mean don't tell your fucking friends. I know he's fucking around when he says like that

I just I just don't want to do I could just hear it now I don't fucking bring up our shit on the podcast. Yeah, you're talking shit about me and a podcast not funny to meet like believe me I just don't need to deal with fucking her shit. So apologize to her don't You That's all over you will at my barbecue this summer I mean she's gonna come once you come to my fucking Dante's just beats the shit out of beaters at your barbecue Max is crying. She don't keep a beaters. They're back the table Max is crying James is crying and then he hands them both a fucking escalade

And they stop crying he rides over fucking hurt mom's foot All right, listen, we're gonna wrap up. What do you got, man? What do you got going on? What's coming up? Uh tomorrow night, I'm doing this is coming up Monday. Oh, he said that too. That's another thing this Kant said. It's fucking Ian fucking Kant. He said, I told him because he had the wrong show. He goes, yeah, that's because it comes out two weeks after you may want to work on that. You know what? Fuck you. I'll just wait for it.

I'll just wait for it. I'll just wait for it. I'll just wait for it. I'll just wait for it. I'll just wait for it. I'll just wait for it. I'll just wait for it. I'll just wait for it.

I'll just wait for it. I'll just wait for it. I'll just wait for it. I'll just wait for it. I'll just wait for it. I'll just wait for it. I'll just wait for it. I'll just wait for it.

I'll just wait for it. I'll just wait for it. I'll just wait for it. I'll just wait for it. I'll just wait for it. Lauren is very protective of me. That's why. Very protective. Very easy. 1, 2, 3. YKWD on Twitter. It's all there. Give it to him.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. Me, me, don't tear both. You choose.

Bobby. Both. Good luck. You and I know she's like. Yeah. I know you sweating on top of her Billy laying on her ass To the fucking Lauren. She's on top She's on a

On her tippy toes Fuck off. Well, both of them be like as elephantphant Seal on my side, just trying to be pumping. Like lay out and job with a hutch, trying to get some check. Yeah, I'm gonna be a fucking job with a, exactly. Yeah, that's, that was, I think that's the only one that I was like, go fuck yourself. Like I'm supposed to fucking, I don't have any. Well people do that, like dude, why wouldn't you

just put it right away, a party after having to lay, all right wait, the late? All right wait hang on hang on hang on first about eating you're wrong We do it live it's live right now you can listen I always listen to it. I work. Yeah, but you can listen life I'm alive right the fuck now. Yeah, right? Life live, so you want it right away. It's right like your guitarist live Right away, it's like your guitarist live That's fine, that's funny. He's not listening. I know his guitarist not listening Oh I was going to do a chat. Hey, it's a touch, dad. It's a touch, dad. It's a touch, dad. Ian has a gig.

Ian has a gig. It sucks, dude. Your dream has to die with your tolerance. It's a dead thing. This is so low bassist. It's standing on a little stage. All right, so we're on. Yeah, next five months I'm going to work

with Cat Williams and that's on the weekends and. Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, we'll see the fucking voice he uses in Cat Williams' fucking dressing room. Yo, yo, yo, yo, cat. Tell me how it goes when you're at the barclay center. Go, Miss. Guys, hashtag, Luis your gommas real soon. I am the show. I'd rather be the show at some fucking see room than opening for some other fucking Room yeah, yeah, there you go I just follow me on everything I reach you ready Richie ready man good hangin We had a cigar the other night. It was good hanging then' then, and thanks for coming on, brother. Absolutely. All right, peace to your mother.

Oh. Word, words, a word to your mom. Word to your mom. Yes. Word to your mom. Sing it, sing it, sing it. N.B. Afro. Samo, speakin' afros.

Yeah. Samo, your show, I fucking love your show. Well, I love you very much. And I'm very happy for your success. I'm glad you got a man boy. Yes, that's Adrian. Yep, Adrian. It's very patient.

Who, Adrian? I think he likes him. Just part of the gig. Well, it's all calm down here. That's a definite no, you don't like his heart attack face. Doesn't he look like he's about to have a heart attack those Mushroom their legs together like I would love to see these two fuck I'd love to see so old Adrian fuck Just you two in a steam room sucking each other off hard

You got a make-out heavy We don't make out Okay, good what do you got? You do that? We don't make out. That was you have with you. Okay. Good. What do you got?

Matt Sam on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, notsam.com. Sam Robert shows on every night on XM 103 Series 206. Go right now. He's going at 9 o'clock tonight. Eastern. Right after this show, go have some food. Take a break. Go to the gym.

Do some real-ass push-ups. Sit-ups. Listen to fucking Ian's band. And then go listen to Sam Roberts tonight. And Lucia Gomez comes down the show and just starts, so he gets in fights with people every single time. I do, I love it. I mean, I love it.

My show started as rivalry with guys we fucked. Yeah, right? Right. The original podcast war. Yeah, the original podcast, where the ass. We destroyed those bitches. Yeah, I mean, you won, right? He was in a podcast where it's a podcast decimation.

Right, and look at him. Where are they now? He's a genesis. I'm gonna fuck. Gope number four on four on iTunes suck a dick. You're still not as funny as us. Oh, well as us who's us Legion of Skanks Did the Legion of that video you did with Dave? I do I wear my hoodie all the time. I wear it to the gym. It's a great hoodie I wear it to what are you gonna give me the fucking merch guys name? Let's talk after the show Why do we have to talk? We already talked. Okay. I'll give it to you. I'll give it to, what are you gonna give me the fucking merch guy's name? Let's talk after the show. Why do we have to talk? We already talked.

Okay, I'll give it to you. I'll give it to you after the show. What the fuck? I said, we're gonna have another talk. Well, cause I wanted to make sure he got my shit right because he's doing all of our merch and I wanted to make sure I'm passing you on a good guy.

Did he have to shit right? He got it right now. Cause he fucked up, right before the holiday season. He fucked up. He was like three months in the conversation. We talked, we had this. So why'd you bring it up? Fucking Ian's staring at the ceiling

what did you give me angel does hey hey hey pay attention what you call on skinny Bob but you're on skinny Bob that's fucking funny you know you so funny I thought it was funny. I'm skinny, Bob. Buddy, whiz maybe the funniest joke I've ever said. He's so aggressive.

We all laughed. Why are you screaming? Dude, another one may be happy if you broke your phone. Your track phone. Go ahead, you have to go to 7-11 and get another one. How long is my phone? Please, give me another one. What do you got?

Can I get a apology from you now? Why? It's not a track phone? Hey, baby, you're you're on the show. What's up? Oh? I was just calling to see what time you were gonna be home. I'm leaving in literally 15 minutes and then I'll be home within an hour. All right, Kwame soon is your time. Oh Something's up Is something up?

No, not really just come in when you done what I do. Oh boy You didn't do anything. Oh, you're singing sentences. That means I did something Okay, goodbye Dawn I had a fucking let me tell you something That means I did something. I'm gonna kill Deconjus. Okay, goodbye. Bye. Dawn. Oh, boy. I had a fucking... Let me tell you something. That's not good.

That is not what you do. I had a fucking... I had a dream last night that she cheated on me and I woke up mad at her. Ooh, I hate that. That's like... Corielli's joke has the best joke about that. It's like, what's your problem? What's... He waited for you to dream. There was my, what's your problem? He waited, he had a dream.

There was wife, she had a daughter, and then we'll go for the next day, and he was kind of being in an ass tour, and then she went, what's your problem? He goes, what's your problem, sloths? When she cheated on you in the dream, was it with like a rich white guy, a churchy, or was it like somebody who looks like that? Like a hot sweater. She didn't, she didn't. She would just, I'll tell you.

Look, we're going to go, what do you got? Is that it you done? Yeah, what are you got guys? Gomez comedy go check out my dates and Gomez comedy Instagram Louis G Gomez on Twitter check out all of my other shows Legion of Skanks podcast every Tuesday and Wednesday at 9 p.m. Anthony Kumia calm live Also the real-est podcast on the brand new gas digital network Myself and Ralph Sutton's brand new network completely rivaling rye cast how many shows you got got three but we haven't even launched yet we're launching in March with soft flux we're doing so it's called the self-help you do a beta test of the website right now how many microphones

you got five eight eight oh you have 8? Yeah, we have 8. Good, good. I'm happy. I like Ralph. He's a good guy, man. He's the fucking man. I'll also check out my... Did I tell you and him to do your own network? Yeah, you did. I did. Good for you. I know.

And also check out my Sean Serious XM, the countdown on Russian 93, myself and Michael Bisping. Ronda Rousey not fighting. Would you not fightin? What happened? She was supposed to be next with honor. She's gonna fight again, but Holi Holmes gonna fight Me Should Tate next. Which is crazy.

I get to give you a secret out of these two things. The fact that Conomer Gregor is gonna fight Rafael Designeus and Me Should Tate's gonna fight Holi Holmes. It's this Balsey very un-UFC like move cause they usually pick the payday and the big cash day. And they just said, fuck it dude, we're going to put the people that are next in line in there and they're risking killing two fucking huge fights. And I guarantee you they're going to lose one of them.

I think Desinios is going to be my Gregor. No, of course he is. I think he's a fucking motherfucker. He's a fucking other weight class. He's a monster dude. Desinios is he? He is twice as fast as Anthony Patis. It was crazy. Buddy, he's other weight class. He's a monster, same way He's gonna go in he doesn't realize that this guy is cutting weight to get to that

They're changing the rule like literally there's a role in the UFC You can't chase another title you have to give up you have to relinquish your title Yeah, you have to relinquish your title on camera put that down What yeah, yeah, I don't like to I don't like people watching seeing your board. We're trying to end the show I'm sorry. I'm trying to end the show. He was pro wrestling Did the big show came in to give him the big boot and then the flash of light and boom! Mr. Fuji hit him with the face with some salt.

It's crazy dude, so manly. I'm not talking about it right now. So, I don't even remember what I was fucking saying. Oh no, he relinquished the title. I'm gonna check this out. He fucking, the rules you have to relinquish the title to go get another title. They changed the fucking rule where now Conomer Gregor can have two fucking it felt can do it, but I don't know. I don't think he's gonna do it I don't think he's gonna do it either

Crazy, but I'm always on the loses belt. I'm a loses belt. I've never been right about anything ever Yeah, I know including all your podcasts listen, right? Whatever. I got it. It's right there. I'm trying. I'm trying It's not so you're not a clock. Legion of skanks. Oh tonight. Yeah, I got it, it's right there. I'm trying, I'm trying. So you didn't like 9 o'clock, lead you to Skanks. Oh, tonight, yeah, I had a blast last time. I was doing the game. You killed it, dude. That was a fucking great time. You murdered it, dude. Yeah, we're gonna give you one of the favorite ones.

I wanted to get you on tonight. We're gonna get you guys over to riot cast. This will be your studio. Now that we get the studio, I'll set up. That would be nice. We could talk. You could approach us from Kumia. What's that?

You could approach us from Kumia? No, no, no. Did you deal with more of these assholes just showing up? Ha, ha, ha, ha. And what do you, you have a poachess from kumia? No, no, no, no, no, did you with more of these assholes just showing up? And what do you you have a good time, dude? Yeah, thanks a lot. What are you got hepsi? What else? It hurts when it's true I'm glad you came on dude. You know, I didn't want to feel like I was setting up. No more trolling. No more trolling. Oh my gosh.

You know what, dude? Honestly, God, you should fucking, I mean, I wish more you guys would fucking realize it what the fuck you guys are doing, man. You guys, there's no need to fucking go out. This is too hard as it is. Anybody, all, any comedian at least, I can speak for Congress, all we're trying to do is make it laugh. So you fucking shitty lives doesn't suck. I live suck too. That's why we're doing comedy. You know what I mean? Huh? Well that's pretty awesome. What wasn't?

So? Well when you fucking grab dog shit on your handle it is. I was actually like, yeah you're dope. You hate him? You hate us just because we hate us. I wish your hands were bigger. I, uh, but I think it's, I think it's good you came on dude and it was awesome. You still hate the show or you're not to put your back in?

Yeah. I mean, like I said, I was kind of fucking with you. Yeah, well, don't do that. I know. We was going to play us a turnaround. We said he says it's a final show, and then we beat the show. Yeah. We win.

If you never hear from me and again, then you go in that room and just other trolls. In the room, just hanging upside down, skin, duct tape on the monitor. Yeah, we take trolls skin. We have what they said to me on Twitter, carved in their chest. I, uh, where's your band, man?

Where can we see you? I, I, I want to band right now. I thought you were playing this Thursday. No, I don't know what Taris is. I was dead. You were lying about that? Well, cause I, I thought you would have gotten that cause I said I was near the casino you were playing.

He was just playing his bass and not plugged in on his guitar or his breath. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You know who I thought you were. You are a fucking troll. You're fucking a fucking asshole. I want you fucking photo, changed to just an egg. And I want the band.

I want that off. Fucking egg. I was all excited to go see his band. We got the music ready to go. OK, great. We're going to go out on one of your tunes, man. What's the name of the band? Love Bullet.

What was the name of the band? You used to be. Love Bullet. Love Bullet. What do you got, Dante?? You used to be. Yeah, love Bullet. Love Bullet. What do you got, Dante? Just follow me on Twitter. Everything at Dante Nero and check me out on Ryecast Network, the Bage Phillips Show, so you can still stay with your child

and wake up with them on Christmas morning. That's right, like me. And if you want to put dog shit on his handle in his car, I tried some of his super techniques. That's the reason she doesn't like me anymore. Did not. Yes, I did. Did not. I called her a bitch once. I was like, make me a sandwich bitch. This is like, get the fuck out of my house. That's what she said. It's so much more involved than that and you know it. What do you got? Scopo? I gave you at Chris Scopo on

Twitter, ChrisCopo.com. I got off that mic. You're high. And then January 28th I'm doing a producing a show at New York Comedy Club me my buddy Case Roso come out It's gonna be a good time 10 o'clock show awesome great. What do you got deeps? Art to deep will on social. I'm also producing a show on the 28th or and last Thursday very month in my friends bar and parks Loathe I thought you didn't want to fucking produce shows I gave you an opportunity to produce show you told me to go fuck myself an open mic. That's a little different It wasn't it could have been whatever show you wanted. Oh, let's do it I'm fine. It could be a fucking show show.

I just can't specifically say it was an open point. I said open my B because you're doing it. Yeah. I hosted it open Mike for a couple of years. I think I'm, I think I'm doing it. We know. But yeah, you can check out that show. We're going to try to get Deepu, Lauren, and Scopo

to host their own show at the Village Underground. So there you go. Lauren, I don't know how many go. Glory to God, how many? And now, you know, contacting me was the podcast festival this year. I think YKWD is gonna be doing something with them. So there you go. There you go.

That's gonna be great. I'm glad they got in touch with us. They rescheduled as well with Legion of Sanks. We're negotiating. What? Negotiating. There's a negotiation. Is this the New York?

Yeah, you can't go. Yeah. What you call it might be taking that over. Who? Negotiating. Yeah, there's a new you yeah, you can't go What's called might be taking that over who? Mora See, I think she might be part partening up with that dude. That's great At Lauren Kubara to learn Instagram and if you want to send fan stuff Send it to attention YKWD podcast at the comedy seller 117 McDougal Street. Yeah. As if is 10012. All right, and my dates?

Your dates. Oh, I fucked that one up. Oh, I fucked that one up. Wait, if you want to come on the show, don't troll. Yeah, don't troll. Because we're not letting trolls back. But be nice. She is.

I'll be nice and send an email to ykwdprodu at rikest.com. I love Lord You ready I was ready when I asked oh, yeah fucking say see what he does It's the worst he makes it like I'm like he's the victim Yeah, okay, I fucked up, but not up. I believe in now. Yeah, they've been out. He's yapping you're wrong, Bob I'm wrong the sooner you realize that you're wrong the sooner you'll be happy with Chris Coppola and what he does. I'm glad we got this conclusion. Thank you, Bob See how he does it and it's still like fun He's still having a good time even though he should be like oh my god. I can't believe I'm gonna be at least me and I'm sorry At the very least when you fuck up, but here's his here's his I'm sorry good. I'm sorry

And he's smiling What's it? What could he be happy about? I'll tell you what's gonna be. I apologize for the inconvenience I've caused you. No, because now you see a real... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Set a 15 would you have five it's a five minute monologue the fucking long ass monologue It's not stand up with the microphone put the phone down. We do my day to scope. It's a wide ass monologue Sorry actually do my days before because everybody's hanging out to listen to this This weekend it listening live you're at comics Mohegan Sun you have to have three shows there Newers is awesome dude Thursday Friday Saturday Yes, and then the week after that you're at off- hook comedy club Naples, Florida 21st 22nd 23rd Yep, and 24th the weekend after that you still in Florida at McCurdy's comedy club

Sarah Soda, Florida. That's the 2930 31st That's it you go to robbercallylive.com For all my fucking dates. Please go there Tweet about it. You see it on Facebook. All you have to do is this I'm gonna promote it on Facebook and Instagram Retweet it share it tell your friends about it if you're going if you're not in the area Just keep it moving Thank you so much for all the guys that came out last last weekend in Jersey at a blast

Banana's comedy club one of the fucking great clubs out there. I love those guys and Okay, here we go you ready? You're right sitting in Lauren's seat while you do that so you have you on okay, here we go. You ready? You mind sitting in Lauren's seat while you do that? So you can have you on camera. Great, here we go. He's been doing this monologue, he's been taking acting classes. Everybody, put your phones down.

Put your phones down. I have to get in my zone. And we're gonna... Move a little to your right, Skope. You don't want to do headphones on. You don't need to have your phones. You have an head headphones on the whole show. Take the fucking headphones off. You need a scope. Take, you don't want to do headphones on. You don't need to have your go. You have an head headphones on the whole show. Take the fucking headphones off.

You don't need to, you need a professional. I want you to stand up. Can you stand up? If you want to tilt the camera up and do that. Which one? You didn't catch me. This one. Why not you just use this one, fam?

Okay, I'm gonna hold it. Stand up. Hold that microphone. Hold the other microphone. Don't believe that microphone. Hold the fucking stage mic. By the dumbest guy fucking ever met Use that one. Okay, are you driving up down? I can here we go ready?

I'm gonna tilt this up a little more. Yep. All right. Oh my god. Look at this. Oh my god. This is the best Ever okay ladies and gentlemen. What's the name of the monologue? It's called 12 years Ladies and gentlemen look cameras on me ladies and gentlemen the what's the name of the monologue? It's called 12 years. Ladies and gentlemen, just cameras on me, ladies and gentlemen. The amount of time it's going to take scope out of good on TV. Seven more to go. Don't be too hot on that microphone. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the YKWD

behind the acting studio. The alley was. Today, we have the great actor from Queens doing a monologue. What's monologue then? Twelve years. Twelve years from the writer John Patrick Mulligan. Chris Scopo, everybody. Chris Scopo. If you do that in an audition, you are going to fail.

I need absolute sounds. Sorry. I wasn't allowed at the airport today. I saw a guy. A guy I used to know. Robert Kilner. If that wasn't Bobby Kilner. So I said, I used to be like, hey, body! He doesn't turn around. So I get up, I walk over, I say, Bobby. Bobby killed there. He looks at me with his face. He doesn't know who

I am, I have some crazy man. So I say, your Bobby killed there. I think I got the wrong guy there. I said, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're Robert Kylner, first division, 16th Infantry Regiment. You're not that old. You remember me. So the guy would guess his look on his face. So he says, well, sure, okay, Mack, I'm Bobby. So he sit down. He tells me what he's been doing. I tell him what I've been doing,

talk for a while, and then this announcement comes over the loudspeaker and he gets up, shakes my hand. Don't quit your day job! Sorry. I mean this is not professional here Long I got it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry Bobby Oh, wait, okay, Max takes my hand real genuine says I'm sure glad he came over to say hi Phil real glad So I turn around head back to the lounge the land that's not dead in my tracks that can't be bobby kilnard

because bobby kilnard the one i know his face was blown off at at the crazy thing he turned around and look back and then boom! He was gone. So that guy can't be Bobby Kilner. Could he? So they can't do things like that yet, can they? So I go to the bathroom

into the stall and I wept. I'm not afraid to say it. I wept. I got out of the bathroom and there's this shine to the lights. Like some focus. And I decided to guess having another drink. I hop out on the tarmac, I look up, and I hear this voice in my head, I'm on the plane, I look down, the roads, fields, and I say, in my head, I'm Phil Granger. It's 1961, I live in a big house outside of St. Louis. I have a wife and kid who love me. And I lived. And I'm living. And see.

Let's say the trash. That was remarkable. Let's say the trashy. That was remarkable. I want you to be there. I want to thank you for being on YKWD, and now I want you to leave forever. Oh, my God. I don't know if I was touched. You were touched.

I had goose pimples. I wanted something. Did she got something? Fucking throw up. Listen to me. It was just so bland. It just fell off the ground. I can't even say bad is the wrong word because it's like it just didn't evoke that emotion from

that's what I would have been better if he tried to add him he was literally like if you taught a Japanese robot that's like Siri reading a monologue he had I was it was 1963 it's somehow less passion for reading that monologue than it does for producing this podcast. Wow, that's very little passion. That's no passion. Nothing, nothing, oh my god, I fucking, wow. I want everybody to listen to that and watch it. I want you to fucking critique it.

I want your video critique set to... What's the... YKW producer. YKWD producer at ryecast.com. I want video critiques of this fucking hotrociousness. Oh my god. Alright, that's it. That's our show.

Thanks for coming on. We're going to play you out with the band that you will never be again That isn't playing this Thursday That fucking talk I beat it doesn't it comes getting VIP you fuck Why would you next time next band? There'll be another man. Yeah, but you're not gonna have no sugar He goes no sugar no grades He goes real as diet in the dressing room. You fucking troll.

Fuck you, Ian. Alright, man, you guys are the best fans of the world. We'll see you next time. You know what, dude? Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com.

sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com.