Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Idea Guy | The Regz w/ Robert Kelly, Dan Soder, Luis J. Gomez and Joe List Ep #10

Episode Date: April 3, 2024

Robert Kelly, Luis J. Gomez, Joe List, and Dan Soder join forces and celebrate Luis's birthday, play FMK with their most famous friends, discuss the Joke Wrld podcast bracket, Mark Normand hops in to discuss Steve Martin, and so much more. Presented by YKWD and GaS Digital. LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-regz-ep-04-robert-kelly-dan-soder-luis-j-gomez/id371045355?i=1000634076160  SOCIALS Robert Kelly @ykwdpodcast  https://robertkellylive.com/  https://www.instagram.com/robertkellylive/  Luis J. Gomez  https://luisofskanks.com/  https://www.instagram.com/gomezcomedy/ https://twitter.com/luisjgomez  Joe List  https://twitter.com/JoeListComedy  https://www.instagram.com/joelistcomedy/  Dan Soder https://www.dansoder.com/ https://www.instagram.com/dansoder/ SPONSORS Zippix https://zippixtoothpicks.com/ Use promo code: REGZ for 10% off! Sheath Underwear https://www.sheathunderwear.com/ promo code: Regz for 20% off Capsulyte https://capsulyte.com/ promo code: REGZ for 30% off your order of $25 or more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Door up! You're listening to the Gas Digital Network. Happy birthday! Happy Birthday! Alright, well I'm out of here. Alright. We did a whole hour. See you later. Happy Birthday! That was your birthday? Yeah.

You alright? What happened, Uber driver fight? Yeah, he's coming in a little fucking hot. Coffee's not here yet. Good seeing you. Marcus, great's coming in. He's coming in a little fucking hot Here yet continue mark is great to see us here Yes, and we're here the regs are back we got Joe list aka the truth Dan soda aka Corporate America we did a little bone Joe and talking Louis J Gomez aka the rattlesnake You know what? I want to go back. I want to go back and find the episode. You remember the episode that he became

the rattle snake? Yes, I do. I also remember the episode where he came up with the term go mites. No, I don't. I don't know. What? Oh, I have a, I have a, I have one of my headphones. I have a fan piece of drives me nuts. All right. You guys are all going to be mad about? I'm excited. Where is it? Let me bust it out. Hold on.

Bust it out, go ahead, go ahead. I think everyone's gonna be upset. Hey, can someone fix my headphones? Cause they're not. Nerd. They're not. Oh Jesus. It's only right here.

Happy birthday, Lewis. Well thanks, man. Is that, are we on air? We're on air. We started the show. Okay. Right now, right when you walked in. It's here. This is the show.

This is the show. How you doing, Real Apps Good? I'm good. Look at these. Look at these. Rigs. Oh, cozy. Coasters.

Oh, that's sick. Coasters. The good. Oh, wait. The bad. Yeah. Yeah, that's fun. Okay, all right.

The ugly. That's me, I'm ugly. I don't like that. And the gay. I like that. That's what he said. I like that I don't like that and the game I like that. I actually like that. I want to be gay. I mean Joe Joe's just says he's good and we're Bad ugly and gay bad. Thank you, but you're bad Take one, all right There you go, hey, I love a coaster. I love a, you think

that's funny? What you think? Is this a funny April? Fuller's prank? You got me the wrong thing. No, they were, they were out of the sugar free vanilla. So I got you that they will out of what for your birthday, we got a pink the sugar free vanilla. Yeah you want hey hey take the gay. You want the gay it feels like a bit. It's I mean you know it's just my birth. I don't ask for much. All I want is a fucking latte. You asked a lot. You asked a lot. You say Ocasin was right there. I was ready. You know I genuinely think we should have guests.

If we're doing it twice a month, one episode should have a guest. Why? Why not bring in all the extra people? Why? We're trying to make it. Can I tell you right now? It's a fucking be a three hour fucking podcast. I was just in a little place called Nashville, Tennessee. We know where it is.

Smashville. Smashville. And Nate Barghetti was like, I want to come on the regs. And I was like, dude, place called Nashville, Tennessee. We know where it is. Smashville. And Nate Barghetti was like, I want to come on their eggs. And I was like, dude, if Nate was in town. Nope. Will ruin his life though. Nope. It's all AIDS and fucks. He'd have to go redact it.

He'd have to go pixelated. Yeah, we'd have to cut everything out. Yeah, he'd go, hey, y'all said a lot of stuff was gay. Yeah, yeah, I don't want to fucking cut everything out. But so now we're doing it twice a month. We're taking it serious. You put a thumbnail of whoever in there. Where's my fucking latte?

I'm not, I'm part of this bit. I don't have headphones. I'm so mad right now, because I walked in kind of a little bit, I didn't have time to get a coffee. You were a little angry. I thought the latte would be waiting on the table. You expected something.

Yeah, and then it wasn't it. It was your birthday. Mark Norman got up scared. As soon as his energy, Mark was like, I'm leaving. He said happy birthday. He just went, yeah. But I don't want to get off the subject of where is your latte? Because I feel-

Where is my latte? I can feel Lewis's- They didn't have the thing, so I thought that was a good second choice. There's no way this is real. I know, I know. Like I just don't believe that you would do that. I know, I agree with you. Give me a fruity pink drink instead of a...

I want to say this, A, it matches your shirt perfectly. Bingo. Don't beat his ass. We are not in on this. I want you to know the triangle of comedy. I am genuinely laughing. The triangle of truth? The triangle of truth? You'd never lie to me. I'm not in on this and of truth? Triangle of truth. You never lied to me. You never lied to me.

I'm not in on this and I don't actually approve it. Look into the eye. Look into the eye of truth. We are not a part of this. I don't approve of April Fool's jokes. This is a fucking game. I hate April Fool's jokes. Or I don't care for birthday jokes either.

I can't have sugar right now. Why? Because I, you know. He's cutting, dude. He's got Jamaica. He's got Eddie to fucking deal with. Get Jamaica cutting. Eddie.

I hope Eddie's cutting too. Fuck you, with. I hope Eddie's cutting to I hope Eddie's getting shredded right now too. She's like, what are you doing? He's like, I'll be getting ready. I forgot what he is. Oh, he's Dominican. He's Dominican. He's Dominican. He said, I don't even know. I don't have my headphones. I can't control. I'll get her Eddie. That's it. What is this? I mean, what should I have got? I'm sorry, dude. A latte is milk and coffee, isn't it? Yeah. Something with milk or coffee. You got something with neither hot going from coffee to a fruit drink is fucking wild. Did you get him that because of why for it looks good. It looked, it looked tasty. It's for April fools. He wants to be

part of the show. It's sitting on the floor over there. I mean, if it's not, Bobby, I will make a strong case that we fucking fire him from the show right now. Oh, I'm Lewis. I want to fire Danny. Whoa. Oh, Spider. I'm Lewis. I get the wrong coffee.

I want to fire Danny. Spider. I don't even know. What the fuck? I swear to God, I am not a part of this at all. This is not. Honestly, Lewis, I'm Stu and I don't have headphones. What's the world coming to?

This is the trick to lose though. You just got to really go at him and he fucking starts laughing It's like a shark. You got to punch it in the nose. Yeah, I punch loose. They got to push its face away lightly Hey shark When you don't fight him is when he gets mad. You start thrashing around in the water. Then I smell blood. Good for you, Danny. Stick up for yourself. No, don't encourage this shit, dude.

Danny, I guarantee Danny won't be here by the next step. Go get your own coffee, dude. What? That's a little too far. We are not part of that's a little too far. Look at Dan. Don't look away. Dan, take your hands off your eyes.

I swear to God I'm not a part of this. Take your hands off your eyes. Maybe just a slight of hand. Maybe he's gonna, he's a magician, you know. I have a feeling that if this doesn't pay off with Louis getting a latte, we are in such big trouble. We? Not us. I'm telling anyone who's in this room right now. Natalie, Natalie, you work directly for me. Do me a favor. Get me a fucking latte right now. I need one. Thank you very much. Yeah, I work for Bobby. So yeah, not for long bitch. I don't know. I'm not in fucking Bobby's ear. You think you have any fucking job security?

You fucking bitch. We have to go on punchup.live. Natalie stood up. You know that video of Prince, I think it's Prince Henry where they like say something and he takes his mic off and runs through his helicopter. Natalie was like. Whatever your bit is Bobby with them fucking talking to me, this bit stinks. Buddy, I don't have a, I don't need to deal with this. Whatever your bit is with me not having headphones. He said he doesn't need this. He's out.

Where are you going dude? Danny. Probably get my latte. Danny. He's out. Where are you going, dude? Danny. Probably get my latte. Danny. He's got the latte. Yeah. This is horrible. This is terrible.

This is like dinner theater. Is he going to get the latte? The headphones thing better be a part of this bit. Yeah, take my headphones. Don't throw them at me. Fuck off. Do not do that. What is happening?

We're all falling apart now. No one's falling apart. Happy birthday, Lewis. I think he's upset. I hope he's actually leaving, and I really mean it. I mean, we're gonna see. I hope he's actually gone. I don't know, he left.

Probably another Starbucks, I guess. Dude, if he came in here with a gun. That's right. Don't say that. I got a kid. I know, but then your kid's, by the way, your kid will grow up to be the greatest comic of all time. He'll be like Batman. Yeah. Well, he'll just like study tapes of your specials. Oh, I don't want to get shot. I hope it's not an

air. If anything, you're going to get winged. That's true. I think I'll be okay. And if he does do death shot, I'm going, I going right through that locked you get another code run hide fight You hit with your shoulder. I'll go. I mean it's fight or flight. Well, Bobby's got a fucking AR 15 taped to the bottom of the bodega owner Why stop buying guys stop buying guys cuz I don't want you to die like guns. Why do you need so many? What do you mean? You don't need you to die. I like guns. Why do you need so many? What do you mean you don't need that? They cost money. They're not that much.

Guns are not that expensive. Guns are like 350 bucks. They're not that expensive. An AR-15 is fuck. Is my fucking latte. I don't know, but if I hear something cock, I'm jumping under the table. Now you got all the autistic guys flipping out. Yeah, dude. Wait a fuck. It's like a

Like a like an autistic whistle everyone's going nuts This is mad when this old fucking fat legs starts bouncing you have a sip of one of their bullshit Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Lewis. Happy birthday to you. Do you think I was going to believe the bit where... Happy birthday Lewis.

I actually wasn't in on the bit. I wasn't in on the bit and I genuinely thought there was a chance we're all gonna get shot and I would survive and have to rip those out make a wish only I was trying to blow them one at a time so you get four wishes like your buddies What's the green shit? Is that cat puke? What's going on? The thing underneath the plate. What kind of, well, you can't even eat that plate. I can't have that plate. What is it? What kind of, is that a red velvet with a, with cream cheese frosting? Yeah.

Black velvet with your strong smile. I'll take half that home. You take it. You guys can, you all eat this right now. Yeah. Fuck you. Happy birthday to me. Hey, happy birthday. Thanks for the cake. That is the plate. Check out the card. You're 42. I fucking know half that home. You take it. You guys can, you all eat this right now. Yeah, fuck you, dude. Happy birthday to me. Hey, happy birthday, thanks for the cake, guys. Well, that is the plate. Check out the card. You're 42.

I fucking got you the wrong card. That's fucking old. I thought you were 41. What the fuck, Dan? I thought you were 41. I thought we were the same age. Shats from Dan. Happy first birthday.

No, but look, I wrote a four. It says 41st. 41st. Ooh, cold hard cash My venom no I didn't get anything I get you venom I don't believe you by the way I say Venmo by the way Lewis I bought you an Amazon gift card for $50 and I left it at the CVS And so I have to go yell at them. Oh, no, because I have to receive but I was like fuck I'm giving each other cash. It's so big in my birthday Saturday Guys read it Let him read his card. You fuck.

You give cash. Let him read his card. You fucking yapper. He's yelling at me. Stop yapping. You've gotten so big in just one year and everyone loves you from head to toe. That's why we all hold you so dear. You're a sweet little boy. We're so lucky to know. That's fun. And the funny thing is your adult friends, child card, a a little hug so now do we have to record a podcast Saturday what the fuck my birthday was in June you don't see me crying yeah cuz we're men we don't get each other cards you fucking queer I thought it was funny you it's not funny unless I get one Saturday I'll fall down laughing if I get 50

bucks in a cute car all right Saturday I'll see how old if I get 50 bucks in a cute car. All right, Saturday. We'll see how old the episode by the way, same age. He's five days older than me. Where's my a hundred dollars. Oh yeah. I didn't choose sets of decline. He did two sets of Bobby's cold haul, two sets of Bobby's a hundred dollars, all 20. Now, can I say something to you about that? Great that great that I did it Oh, it is is great, but that workout that I did. Mm-hmm. That was a whole workout. That's great Okay, hang on. Let me finish that was not just I didn't just do two sets of declines That was at the end of the workout probably learn how to bet Yeah, you did it

Send the video I sent the video I gave it all You are you shook You get the video, send the video. I sent the video, I gave it all. You have the video? It's already here. It's on the show. You shook at the end. At the end of the second, I don't work out, I told you that. All right. And you still made a bet where you lost $100. I'll give you 100 bucks.

He's got Parkinson's. Fine, that's how we find out. Great guys, I'm slowly shutting down. Lou Gehrig. I'm gonna be dead in two years. Me and Don went to a wedding on the wrong day this year. We showed up at the wedding, we got a babysitter and everything.

We showed up, dressed up, all this stupid shit, and we showed up. We were like, hey, where's the wedding? They go, yeah, that's tomorrow. We had to get another babysitter and go back the next day to the fucking wedding. That's it. That's really good.

I would've gone. I know, I had to. That's the thought, all right? Yeah, because honestly, I would be the kind of person like that where I go, I loaded up, I went, it didn't happen. I had a bow tie and everything. I like a wedding. I enjoy everyone, but Joe list wedding, every other wedding that I've been to, why didn't you like Joe? It was just very cheap low rent. But all the other weddings that I've been to were

fucking just par tease. You don't think Joe list wedding was fun. It's open bar. We let you bring a girl that you didn't even care about open bar There was so many exes there Hannah burner best-selling Kim Cognon, we had so many female comics that aren't with the men It's the Netflix's Comedy mothership All these women I bump into that they were just at my wedding. Yeah, we have to take a veil for Joe's wedding. My wedding was great. You were dancing with Nate.

We went to make a picture of the four of us. I had a very fun time at the wedding. We were off our ass at that wedding. That was a good wedding. It was just cheap. How was it cheap? I wish you would have gotten married now because you're doing better.

So you would have had a little bit more fun, like fulfilling expenses. Open bar, dog. Every wedding is an open bar, Joe. You can't brag about an open bar. So what would have been, what would have made it better, more expensive, more money, more money. Lewis, what kind of a co-chamber Lewis's Puerto Rican head wants an ice sculpture, better

facilities, better facility and ice sculpture. Yeah. It would have been nice. That's a waste. I got a big, big, big old fucking like a mariachi band. No, no, a big electric guitar and ice in the center of the Oh shit. Yeah, dude. Dimebag Darrell's honestly. Lewis, thank you for bringing this up. There were no deviled eggs. No, I don't know what a devil we got a fucking knife for the cake here. What am I supposed to do? My dad was

stabbed. You're a fucking piece of shit. You don't know what a deviled egg is. You're a fucking asshole. You don't know what a devil day? I know what it is. You fucking scramble the egg and you put it in. Can we get a spoon? We'll get a spoon. Oh, your mom died of heroin. Sorry. Ah, come on. What the fuck? What is wrong with both of you people? I'm sorry. Can we get a fork? Did anybody die from a fork? My grandma had a fork in the road. Torax.

Oh, abuela. Piece of shit. Abuela Gomez. Should we stand by a fork in San Juan. No, he's a fork. An idiot don't say fork. Are you getting married? Yeah, you're gonna have a big wedding. Yeah, better than Joe's a hundred percent. Now it has to be. It will be damn near impossible to not be my wedding fucking ruled bro. It was very kidding. Where was that? What was the venue? It was up north. Westchester

was just it was in a what's it? The Ramada the way the theater is Harry town Harry town Terry town is double tree not the Ramada Double-tree free cookie when you check in that was pretty you know that's a that's a not a good thing You can go to the double tree on the road. Just get a free cookie anyways. Yeah, just walk up and go hey I forgot my cookies and they'll give you cookies. You don't have to be fat Bob You don't have to stay, by the way, you don't have to stay at any hotel. You can walk in and get free breakfast at almost any goddamn near low to mid-range hotel.

They're not gonna stop you. Nope. They're like, do you stay here? Chick, I fucked last night, did. I knew my knuckles. I always say the stuff. Tell them you're in Hilton Honor's book. I'm Hilton Honor's diamond status, bitch.

I'm doing meth and fucking that gay guy in 318. Isn't it weird? They just think 318 is gay on on meth. We got it. Yeah, I know. I just wanna drive it home. I'll take the bomb, Deanna. There you go. What are you doing for your birthday?

This. You don't have the class. It's bombing. What'd your girlfriend get you? She got me a few things. Did you guys wake up and have sex? We did. She gave me birthday sex all weekend. you guys wake up and have sex?

We did, she gave me birthday sex all weekend. Ooh. Nice. All weekend. Yeah. She said anytime I want it, even if she didn't want it. Nice, that's the best. That's assault. Sex when the woman doesn't want it is the best.

She's not, it's not. Well, I'm talking about a relationship. You better come with some modifiers on that one. Or else they're gonna start looking at your tour schedule and seeing if any cases line up So you guys can I just clarify something you guys you guys got together and thought up this big bit We'll forget his drink. We'll get him a pig But you forgot the fucking knife They're autistic they're autistic it would have been funnier if Dan and I had been involved.

It was just that they got the one guy on the crew that is just not a good actor. Dude, it felt like, honestly, it felt like when kids put on a performance for their parents. Yeah. No, Bobby could have gotten here. I felt like you guys got us in the living room to lip sync. One of the best lines ever, Royal Tenenbaums. He goes, did you at least think the characters were well developed? And he goes, what characters? think the characters were well developed?

And he goes, what characters? A bunch of kids in pajamas. Great film. All right, here we go. Paruba! You got the biggest slice? He can't, he can't, he's gotta stay ripped. Cause he's gotta get shredded because Eddie's on point.

Shreddy Eddie. Shreddy Eddie, dude. Shreddy Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. How sweet that Lewis thought that was a great line. Is your girl going? Yeah. Are you worried about a crossover, Paul? Are you worried about a takeover?

Look at that. That looks great. I just walk in the room and Eddie's got Beatrice and Jenna. He's like, Lewis, look, I learned how to do a shish kebab. My penis goes through a beer spree and into your lady. What is red velvet exactly? Hand it over here. What are you doing? You put the cake over there.

You gave him a slice you fucking snotty squad. No you cut a slice and get past it Joe. This is the attitude you had at your wedding. This is where the wedding sunk in. You didn't bring your own sandwiches? Sandwiches at your wedding? Yeah but Joe's wedding you didn't see Joe cause he danced the whole time. He was such a sweaty little danced out boy.

I like to dance, baby. You really do. You wrote a very sweet thing on our little thing. I want to read it because it's so gay. Well, I want to know. I don't remember. You're like, I'm so grateful to be your friends. I have so few friends.

And you guys are like, something. He's going to write that at dance, too. I'm such a loser. Thanks for being one of the four. Thanks for letting me be here. Such a fucking piece of shit. Thank you, Joe. You'm such a loser. Thanks for being one of the four. Thanks for letting me be here. I'm such a fucking piece of shit. Thank you Joe. You're better than me. Joe and Everett you physically dominate me. You're funnier, you're smarter, you're stronger Joe. You could last longer in bed, you're more satisfying. I heard you're

girthier. We should have guests. No guests. Why do you want guests? What guests do you want on so bad? Well Mark was just here, he's very big. Mark is big, that's a protector of our party's crossovers. What do you want? We got extra viewers, this is what the show is. It's us four, the regs. Why KWD was bringing guests, this is the regs. Yeah and that show stunk.

Yeah, it really was lacking. You know what? Fuck both of yous, how's that? This is unbelievable. Who made this? Fuck both these. How's that? Unbelievable. Who made this cake is on fucking believable. Okay. Who made it? Shop, right? It's fucking cheap. S K go fuck yourself. We got that from fucking ass. We got that from a glorious bakery. The famous. He couldn't hold it. Yeah, that if it's CVS, it's fantastic.

Got this shit from a fucking whole Foods, you piece of shit. I got from Penn. You do not make a mess. Penn Station. I'm not making a mess. You're fucking digging into it like a rat. What's a crumbly shit cake? I can't help it, you gotta fucking host this cake.

It's falling apart. Now that we know you bought it off a guy on the F train. Motherfucker's got an Entenmann's. Crumbling like my fucking dumps. You have crumbly dumps? I couldn't think of anything good. I used to get crumbly dumps all the time when I drank. You ever look at the poop chart? Now I get solid logs. You ever look at the poop chart? I've looked at the poop chart in my underwear. Bring up the poop chart. The poop chart is shows you six different types of poop. This is why we need guests. And you have to. The poop chart rules dude. How did it take us this long to get to the poop chart?

We've been friends for over 15 years. I'm dying to see the poop chart. Now I want to know where I'm out of the poop chart. I shit little cockroaches. I do long snakes. I'm the first one. So listen. I'm the first one. I'm the first one and the seventh. You want to be three or four. That's where I am. That's where you want to be three or four that's where I am that's where you want to be I'm either one five or seven wait this is the place used to be so you know what I used to be six when I drank I'm five six seven dude I'm four I'm fucking torpedo logs I'm like four I'm like three and four sometimes I got some ridges on I like four my shits out and fucking cut the end of them and light them up and smoke them four looks like a torpedo this we're a cartoon I would do that sometimes I'm one through seven in one session. It starts

just coming out in different places. When you're hitting three or four you go really hit my stride. Why is five six and seven? Did you ever have a seven and then a three come out? Yeah last time we did a set. It was worth it just for that isolated audio of Joe going, because he was eating cake. Now this is the Bristol stool chart. Pull up the Hartford stool chart. Killed with the odd tests. Those big geography buffs got it. For the folks at home, Bristol's a city in Connecticut.

And so is Hartford also. Three looks great. Why is three bad? It's not bad. Three and four is what you want, dude. Three and four is what you want. Do three four is what you want five no good five looks alright Don't tread on me Libertarian shit Fuck rated when I was drinking it was all six

All the time like a I got protein I drink too much protein. So I get that too. That hurts coming out, but I like it. Yeah, you do. Are you? And you're doing these little pouches. Yeah. Yeah. You do weed. I do these. Touche. There you go. How's that crumbly cake? It's good. You don't like the frosting. Yeah. Home. Oh, why is that? Home? Oh, I would like frosting. Do you guys see my wedding post and I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not How's that crumbly cake? It's good. You don't like the frosting. Yeah, homo Why is that homos would like frosting? Do you guys see my wedding post and see your wedding like You guys you got married before I moved here. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah mine was on the internet. Lewis heckled my wedding. No, he didn't know. No, he said, you did. I didn't know. I said that. He set me up. I set him

up. I said, I said Lewis Gomez and he went Jay and I went just check it. That was a funny bit. Yeah. It was a great bit. The little fucking wedding. Well, you gotta do it. You gotta be funny. It would have been a joyless endeavor. No Joe list Taking having some riffs we bring an Ari one time then no, no, it's not good It's a cute white. Can I tell you why tell me keeping it Ari? He's on Can I tell you what? Yeah, because every other show is dependent on guests were dependent on our dynamic and our dynamic alone

And that's what makes us fucking beautiful. Yeah, there you go. People love the show the way it is. Nobody said Hey, can we have a guest but then the shows don't grow the show is literally growing the show is growing Yes, everybody's loving the show. Yeah, Joe. I go on the road. How many people tell you the regs, the regs, the regs, but it could be bigger. How much bigger do you want it? What do you want? We just started going twice a month now. It's going to grow. Now we're more consistent. Twice is a lot. He's such a fucking you guys are lazy, dude. What? What? I would do this for free. I would even I would do this without okay. Cool. We'll take your money Yeah, that's perfect. No, we can pay Danny that makes it all worth it. We can pay Danny

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She's coming by. No, she's not. I told her I said come by at three o'clock. Of course she did. I'd literally be angry and I love Karen. I love her did. I'd literally be angry, and I love Cameron. I love him too. I'd be fucking, I'd be furious. I almost hope it's happening now.

Now I really, I really hope it. When you came in and Mark was sitting in Dan's seat. When Mark was sitting, and then I thought you guys were already on, I was gonna, me and Bob were gonna have a famous Lewis and Bob blowout at the end of today's show. We were on. We were on. We were on.

We were on. If Mark's voice is on the show for one second. Why? No, it's a bonus. For one second. It's a bonus. A bonus before the show starts. No, we do it, we throw it at the end.

We start with dessert, it's very European. And then. It's like when you eat a TV dinner. Why? You eat the brownie first. You put his face in the thumbnail, extra 100,000 views. Nobody cares about the extra thousand views Joe we're not in this for views yeah what you said the

opposite one time audio list you said the opposite that's the future audio audio said the opposite with a lot of panache a lot of panache you weren't gonna you like you guys are calling it panache. You two cowards were over there. I was over here. That's not true. I got in the middle of you too. You didn't get in the middle. You sat there.

This is on video. Like the watcher, the watcher watches. We're going to make a record. Oh, a record? Yeah. We're going to do a regs record. That'd be fun. Can we do a Christmas album?

Yeah. We do an eight track too. And then we start doing it. We record it in the summer. But it brings a little Christmas energy. Oh, the weather outside is frightful. Frightful. You'd be really pissed if someone showed up.

Are we allowed to text on the show? Lewis is face. You're not just bringing people into the regs, dude. Stop. Get off your phone. This is like Joe. One sec. No. Hold on. Joe wants an open marriage.. This is like Joe, this is like Joe,

hold on, Joe wants like an open marriage and we're like, no I'm happy with you. And he goes, well that girl from work. Yeah, I don't know if we want that. And he goes, no, no, no, we'll go to like hedonism, just hold my hand. No Joe, we want it just to be the four of us. People like the dynamic between us.

Joe, who you texting right now? Nobody. Why are you texting him? He told Karen to come by. You better not fucking tell Karen to come by here. You better not fucking tell people to come by. Mark was already here. You told him!

You told Mark to come by. He did. You told Mark to come by. What happened was I was here 45 minutes early. That's the kind of guy I am. That makes zero sense. That's not even good. That's just too early. Too am that makes zero sense. That's not even good. That's that's just too early It's too early kind of guy. You are too early. He's actually worse late and ask you too early worse I wasn't sitting here you asshole too early. It's like what are you doing?

What's my life tell someone to beat your house and they come an hour I mean that means he was here when you and I were having a lovely conversation on the phone He was just sitting here fucking weird with his guys are retarded I wasn't sitting in here you moron. I was in the fucking Chinese dolls eyes. Yeah, you were in the park. That's a weirder Better be playing chess Fuck I thought they could jump I do find it hurtful when I walk by those guys like, come on man, come play. And I'm like, I don't know how to, I don't play. Come on, four eyes, you know how to play motherfucker.

Hey, Bobby Fisher face, get your ass over here. What you do a hiding nicely? Yeah, Joe looks like he just had a play. Let's look like you had to walk away from it because it was too good. When it was 10. Yeah. He's like, I got molested by the top Russian fucking chess player in the world. I said that to a guy one time. I was like, I'm too good. You wouldn't want to.

And the guy was like, Oh hell no. You got it. And I was like, I'm telling you, you want, you wouldn't like it. I kept walking and I really liked it. I just with his head. You know what you did? You ran a stick along his cage. And he was like, fuck you. What if Joe sat down? He was actually knew how to play. He just hit him. He just can map out. Hey, remember every he actually knew how to play? He just hit him. He just could map out. He could remember every... I know how to play, but I'm not...

I know how the pieces move. We should do a chess tournament. And that's as far as... Oh, that's a good idea. We should do a rakes. Oh, it sounds really funny. I win. Why are you so confident?

Because we used to play chess here at the cellar. We used to play prison chess. What the fuck is that? That's when Keith just said, I'm gonna rape... Suck a dick for a sandwich. It's just a black guy'm gonna rape for a sandwich. Just a black eye yelling at you the whole time? Keith just going, I'm gonna rape your queen.

I love it. I love porn ass. I'll take it. I know how the pieces move. I know in which direction they move. I don't know literally even one bit of strategy. Yeah, there's like plays and shit. You got a castle. You know what castling is? I remember how you castle. It's like when there's nothing in between your king and the rook and then you switch the places between the

king and the rook. No, it's when you piss on her chest and then come over it like a moat. Yeah. Or it's when you, yeah, that's actually good. Or it's when you climb up the side of her, her house and then you sneak in a room and have sex with her. Joe's very much. It's like, it's like you, uh, you, you pull her hair like Rapunzel while you or you marry your sister. Just keep it blue blood. You fuck her and then you throw her into an alligator moat. Oh, that's fun. Don't use mode again. So to say mo yeah, he said mo I said alligator boat mo.

Birthday boy can't be wrong. Can't be right. Who did you invite here on your phone? I didn't finish my story, So I was here 40 minutes earlier. I texted Mark. I said, I'm in the neighborhood. You around then he didn't text me for like 30 minutes and he's like, I'm actually around seller. I'll pop over by that time. I was already up seller. I barely know her. It's his birthday. No, it's his birthday. I can't be wrong. Come over now. And I figured you'd be a few minutes late. so he hung for 12 minutes. Then we started talking about the Steve Martin talk, and I thought, this is interesting.

I said, hit record so we have a 12 minutes with Mark. You know, we can't, yeah. You have 12 minutes with Mark without me. I will. It's the name of the episode. But not for the ring! The name of the episode's 12 minutes with Mark. That's a good idea.

Will you stop with your fucking ideas as no one's? I'm trying to think outside the box. You're not an idea guy. Yeah. Are you kidding? You are no idea guy. You're a pun guy. You're a pun guy.

You're a pun chump guy. I'm the idea guy. I'm the idea guy. I'm the point guard of podcasting. You do more puns than anyone I've ever met with the exception of our previous guest, Mark Normans. Your number two. You are punny. You're very punny. It's outrageous. I think

you're punny by the way. You're not allowed to be punny on skanks. So I think this is where you have your little punny. They just don't laugh at it. Say the N word. I'm gonna go find out over here. We're like your theater friends. Yeah. This is like where you come in. Yeah. This is to be active and like Dave and Jay are waiting for you outside the back of the school to go, let's go throw rocks at dead stuff.

And then we're like, Lewis, get in line. We've got a new song. We're gonna go throw a bowling ball off the freeway overpass. And then Jay goes, dude, look at this stunt dummy. I'm gonna scare people. It's like the good boy or the good one. When John DeVoe got his leather jacket, leather jacket, can't fuck you. Okay. I want to hear it.

That's a flat tire. We don't do the bomb dinner for that. That was a fucking talk over these two assholes. Start clean fresh. We're going to take two, take two on Bobby's line. You need a flat tire flyer. It's a flyer. This is flat tire. Now that's a bomb, a flat tire fire. That's a bomb and that's from the idea guy. By the way, but that data was my pun day. Fuck. I was gonna say idea, but I think it was my idea, but calling it the bomb data whose idea was a bomb. By the way, purple rose of Cairo, whatever the fuck we play. My idea rose thorn seed, me purple rose of Cairo. That's a film. That's a prostitution ring. It's actually a movie pull with a prostitute. Yeah, but that was my idea I'm the try guy

Good idea for pockets the try guy New fucking it's it we're in we're in it. We're doing First week of us doing the second one in a month. We're fine Let it the fucking bake for a few months, doggy. Stop trying to spice up the relationship. It's hot and heavy. You mean this? Yeah, just two little teeth.

It's not even a whistle. Joe just goes. Zip. Zip. It's a button. It's a zipper, just the little tooth that goes in. Just Joe's mouth just needs one of those little green things from Starbucks you put over. So the hot coffee doesn't pop out. Another round of Starbucks for me and my friends. I could do another one. It's Lewis's birthday.

I'm having cake. Let me get a sweet cream vanilla cold brew. Grande. Another day for me fired up another Brevet latte over there. We're eating good in the neighborhood. Do you want to order it off the app? I forget it. It's too complimented. Huh? All right. Goodbye. No sweet cream. If you have a funny bone in your body, you'll get him that drink again. Sweet cream, vanilla cold brew. You know what you know? You know how I do. He's like, I'm going to go do it the normal way by not making eye contact with the person. Sweet cream, vanilla cold brew. I don't want anything. You don't want anything. You don't have to say anything. Bob, what's that? You didn't have to include that you don't want anything. I might get the same thing. I don't want it. He's fine. Top

three potential guests go potential guests. Top three hot dog. Doug D dog. Stop all this. What I want to do voices to these are noises. That's fully work. Top three potential guests. I mean, you need big big names calling Quinn. Okay, love it. Mark Norman. Nope. Fucking rich boss. That's your third biggest. That's your third. Why don't you start with rich? It's really have fallen off on guests already. I mean, I don't know. You know what I mean though. Someone comes in from out of town, but

the problem is then they all ask everyone goes, Hey, can I do your. Yeah, everybody does your podcast the same week that they do. Everyone else is it. It sucks. No, it was on skanks this week and I was like, Hey, can I do you? Yeah, everybody does your podcast the same week that they do everyone else's it sucks. No, I was on and I was like, okay, it just wasn't special. I guess because he did everyone else. Mine get yours. He did yours. He did fucking are you garbage? Make that a rule. You can't come on. You're not plugging. Sorry, that was my Asian impression. Japanese you're doing my bit. It's a Japanese type of Asian yeah. It's a Japanese. It's a type of Asian. It's a Japanese.

But Lewis has a point. They all do the same. Yeah, so you don't have them on when they're plugging other shit. Then they don't want to come on. Lewis is the idea guy. You should just stick to little snipes. Okay. That wasn't hurtful.

That was quite nice. Sure. I will, can I just say one thing? No. No, we're cutting you off. Too many ideas today. Go ahead, say it, go ahead, say it. You do have a cocaine amount of ideas. I know, I'm all fucking teed up, I gotta coffee.

You got an Adderall prescription? What is your idea? How about Dan shapes his head, Louis is growing his hair out, flipping around. That's pretty good. Seriously? Dan's the idea guy. That's good. What were you going to say, Joe? What were you going to say, Joe the gums?

Joe the bumps? What do you got? Extra, extra read all about it, Andrew. I can call anybody. I can call anybody right now. I can call anybody in the world. That's what's great about these cell phones. They go anywhere. They're attached to everybody. I can call my mom.

I can call my mom right now. You guys want me to call my mom? Extra, extra read all about it. I'm so funny. I'm so funny. He's right, you've got news, boy. You're a newsie. This just in, folks.

I had an idea. Woo. No, this isn't an idea, but I want to protect myself from getting in trouble You're not gonna get in trouble. Just say it nobody's gonna get you in trouble. I Was having a conversation? With somebody and they asked what I'm up to and I was like, oh, I'm doing the regs today Yeah, and then this person said I'm gonna pop in yeah, that'll be funny and I said, oh don't I will be there

Who was it? Who was it? The then the person said, I'm going to do it anyways. Now No, then fuck up who is it? Who is it? It's Karen. No, no, she's like, I'm going to pop in I'm gonna pop in. I was like, dude, I was like, you can't. I literally, I'll send the text. I was like, you can't. And she's like, I'm gonna do it. Let me see the text. Let me see the text.

I believe it. Let me see the text. I know you feel a lot of chaos. As someone that grew up with a mom that fought with all of her boyfriends, this is great. We don't have a mic. She's gonna have to share your mic. Yeah, that's what he wants.

He wants her to sit on his lap. I have singers. I wanna hold, no. I'm just saying. He wants a Johnny Cash. It's not on me. You don't fucking make those decisions. How does she even know where it is? She knows where this is. It's not on me. You don't fucking make those decisions.

How does she even know where it is? She knows where this is. She's been on the show before. By the way, you don't think he gave her the location and time? You definitely told her what time, where, when. You know when you get a very formal text from a booker that's like, here's all the info, Joe probably said that. Show us your text messages.

He gave her a private text. Show us the one to her. Show us the text to Karen right now. Wait, what's going on? Yeah, it's like an advance from a club. Yeah, his workshop. We were just writers corner. Yeah, poor guy. I guess he's my fucking shack attack. We had to run a play. He was like, hey, I was like, all right, big brand. Just get it. Tell me. Fuck it. Do me in the party. Fuck. We had to run a play he was like hey, I was like

Your shack is pretty good I was like hey Louis you're a real-life dude just feed me the ball It's not this Randy. That's really it's fucking Randy Savage. That's not she never bad. Let me hear it again Bobbakelly, it's your kid. Oh Neil. You're retarded. That was pretty good. Thanks. I mean, I didn't like what you said, but it was pretty good. I used that word openly. Is that Shaq? That was pretty good. Can we see the text messages?

No. Why? Because you're saying other off-kilter shit to Karen? He's saying wild out of pocket shit. I'll show you all my text messages between me and Karen right now. I have nothing to hide. And they have naughty, naughty stuff If you scroll back far enough,

which you should, if he gives it to you, hit, she's not coming. Anyways, she's flying back today from Austin. She's not showing up. She's going to show up. Mark was not supposed to show up. We were supposed to meet up, but he was delayed. Were you this weekend? Nashville. I saw Nate. Smashville. I went to Nate's house. How was it?

It's, it's. Doesn't he have a side house too? He's got two giant houses in the same neighborhood. He's got a side house. Side house. Sort of rumor. Nate cheats. He cheats on his family.

It's pretty. I asked Nate, I was like, if you guys get into a fight, do you just come stay here? He's like, I mean, I could. I I make her sleep here. Dude it's wild. He just you walk down the street to his house he can go borrow sugar from himself. It's fucking insane. We used to live in the same neighborhood of them when they had those fucking neighbors upstairs stomping around. Yeah he threw an egg at my car. I did. I remember that. God that was so fun

when you guys all lived in the same neighborhood you, Jay and around. Yeah, he threw an egg at my car. I did. I remember that. God, that was so fun when you guys all lived in the same neighborhood. You J and Nate. Yeah, we just go and hang out. You just go and have your car fucking desecrated as a bit. You invited her, didn't you? She's got her. No, that's Natalie talking. Oh no, I did not. Yeah, no fucking. Yeah, I just need needs gotta be fucking. It's crazy, dude. He did a guess at and they introduced them and people screamed like he was Bieber. No, yeah. And then I went on after him. I go. It sucks when

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is promo code regs to save thirty percent off. All right. Where were we? So who is the bit? Let's rank the biggest people we know Nate Dillon, Shultz, name shame or Shultz, Shultz, Dylan. Let's get them ranked in terms of how much I like them. That'll get that'll that'll get us up the algorithm. You're just trying to That'll get that'll that'll get us up the algorithm. You're just trying to climb algorithm fuck Mary kill Schultz Tim Dylan and Nate. I ain't fucking Tim. We're all killing Schultz. Let's just move on beyond I think I think I'd fuck shows. We're all we're all fucking shooting Schultz right in the back of his wigger head I just want it was again Dylan Schultz

And Nate I'm fine. I'm killing Nate. What? You're killing Nate. Nate's our past, he's our buddy. He believes in heaven so he's gonna be okay. Yeah, you know he's gonna meet his man. I would marry, I would marry Tim. He'd be great going out to dinner, snuggling. Have you ever gone out to lunch with Tim? Have you ever gone out to a meal with Tim Dillon? It's the best. It is. What? Really? It's incredible. He just eats, he eats good. But here's the thing. He'll he'll order. He'll order for the table and it's unbelievable. Yeah, I'm going to fuck Schultz. Schultz is going

to be a good lay. I'm not going to. I'm not going to. I've got a big old hammer on. Yeah, I'm going to fuck Schultz. I'm going to marry Tim Dylan. I'm going to fucking kill Nate. Marry Tim. You think I want to sit and watch stupid golf with Nate all day. You're going to marry Tim. He chews with his mouth open. Yeah, but he's the most fun to marry. Yeah, you're going to go to. You're going to go to with Nate all day? You're gonna marry Tim? He chews with his mouth open. Tim would be the most fun to marry. You're gonna go to cool places. You're gonna fuck with him.

It's gonna be volatile. There's gonna be a lot of fights. Midgeon and Dustin Chafin, it sounds psychotic. Dude, honestly. Imagine that. Imagine that you're fucking like, yeah, but you know what though? I'm just imagining there's a golf tournament on TV

and I'm just laying on the couch with my head on Nate's belly and I just we're in the side house now the gay Dylan has houses all over the country. Yeah. Yeah, I'm married and we get to church We get to go to Long Island in the summer. We get to go Austin LA on moho and drive. I get to borrow his fucking, his Bentley. Schultz, you're just like going, you're like meeting like 50 cent. Schultz, you're like meeting. I'm going to fuck him.

This is wild. I love Tim Dillon. Yeah. Known him a long time. We're buddies, but you're not going to get a fucking word in. Yeah, but that's kind of nice. You just arm candy. The pressure is off. Tim Dillon. Yeah, I like that. I think you should be pretty for once. Oh, my God. I'll just stay pressure's off. I like that tip. I think you should just be pretty for once. Oh my God, I'll just stay in the gym.

I gotta drag shit out of Don. I ask her a question, I gotta fucking, what? Just say it! Say more than one word, you fucking bitch. Yes! I just gotta stay, I just gotta stay hot. Are you talking to Don right now? Schultz will listen and like touch his fate.

Yeah. He's gonna cross his legs real long like this. Yeah, you know you're just meeting Schultz late at night at his fucking No, we're fucking. He's gonna cross his legs real long like for some reason. You know you're just meeting Schultz late at night at his fucking studio, you're gonna fuck him. Oh damn, Bobby's just gonna be taken. That's a lot of, he goes, oh, I didn't even think of that. And you, but that by the way would feel really good.

Schultz is a listener. He goes, cause he goes like this, he goes, oh yeah, and then you feel good, you feel seen. And he'll give you a lot too. That's, are you gonna marry Schultz? Tim's not giving you anything either. Nate, Nate, we're drinking, we're having like McDonald's. But while you're sucking his dick he's gonna be like turn your phone sideways. But the problem with Nate is Nate's favorite thing to do, and this is a good view,

pray to Christ, is to argue. He wants to argue. I don't want him like the Tim likes to argue. Well, Tim's not taking in your input. He'll just blab on and on and on. That is kind of fun. So what? So where who? So you just hold on. I can just sit in the passenger seat, look at Tim or go as he's ranting like you're right, babe. Yeah, 10. Yeah, it's down. Look yeah this is obviously you married him Dylan it's not even a debate okay I want to marry me I want to marry me yes my heart you have to sit there and pretend to be interested in fucking Tennessee sports

every Sunday every Sunday you gotta wake up and go to church oh I love it, I wanna get into Vanderbilt. Every Sunday you gotta wake up and go to church. Oh, I love being close to Christ. He's not going to church every Sunday. Is he? Yes. He went on Saturday. Oh, even worse, Saturday church? He went to the five o'clock service. We go to mass five days a week.

It's true. Yeah, we had lunch at this. I've gone to church. I'm going to the five o'clock mass. Chicks are in dresses. Yeah, long ones. But you're gay. Not long ones, it's not a fuckin' honest church.

He's not a Quaker, you weirdo. That's what I was looking for. Hey, but you're long. What's it's not a fucking Quaker. You weirdo. That's what I was looking for. Hey, but you're gay now. So you're not looking at your, you ain't into women's no more. You want to marry a gay guy. You're gay. Be with a gay guy. Oh yeah. You know what though? You're right. Because marrying him, you're like, Oh, this is old hat. Yeah. You can break me in. Oh, Schultz. Schultz would be like, Yo dog, do I put it in your butt? And you're like, I don't know. I'm just wiggling it at you. And they'll go like, I don't even want to have sex. You just want to play video games. And you go, yes, I do. Man of my dreams. It's going to fuck you. You're

going to have to be on your back. He's going to have to do it. Missionary style. That's uncomfortable. That's really gay. Did you get the case of that mountain dude? Yeah. Nate doesn't got a big dick either. So it's going to kind of feel good. Is my prostate feel all right? What's going on? I like it. I'm going to grab the sheets. Nate has a personal trainer. Yeah. Shultz is just pounding you out. You got to do it where you lie on your back and put your legs up. You're getting Patrick Bateman by Shultz is just pounding you as you. You gotta do it where you lie on your back and put your legs up. You're getting Patrick Bateman by Schultz. Yeah, plus Nate, you're gonna have to be neat

and clean up when you're done. He has a barber. I bet you Tim doesn't even get hard anymore. Hey, clean my neck up. Tim can't even get it. He can't get hard. He can't get the blood down to his dick. Here's the question I'm asking.

Who do I have to have the least amount of gay sex with and that's him Mary Tim Tim's not gonna wanna Tim Tim's gonna want to be with you and then he's probably gonna fuck around on you, which is fine It's gonna be like a regular marriage. I want to be with you Tim Dillon is the funniest hang of the three, but I've never heard Tim ever once go. How you doing? You've been good He He does. I want that in a wife. Tim's like this, dude, Tucker Carlson's crazy. And you can think now you're on the floor. Let me answer your question with a question. Do you

think Nate or Schultz will be that for you? I think they will ask slightly more questions, which Shane got lost in all this. I'm marrying Shane. She's too good for us. Another three Shane, Rogan, that would be Shane Rogan or Ari. No fuck. Nobody's fucking marrying or doing anything with that. Bloody asshole. I would I would let I'd bang Ari. No, no. Fuck Mary. Ari. You don't marry Ari. That would be very shame. You have to travel the world. Go to kill 5,999,000 of his friends.

That's great. And that went under the carpet, but that's great. Tony Hinchcliffe, Rogan or Shane. Oh, I'm marrying Shane. That's it. Marrying Shane. That's a dunk. I'm killing Tony and I'm banging Rogan. Yeah, that's a good one. I'm gonna bang Tony to death. Oh, that's true. Here's what I don't understand. He's gonna love it. Can I ask a question about fuck, marry, kill?

I don't understand. If you're married, you also fuck the person. It's a weird game. Yeah, but not as much. You don't enjoy it. You get to fuck him. Having sex with somebody is much different than spending the rest of your life.

Because I'll fuck a crazy bitch but I'm not gonna marry a crazy bitch We know I'm talking bipolarity I've hooked up with girls where people are like no that girl's like accused six different comedians of rape and I'm like like let's go You fucked a girl one time over this over 15 years ago Say no names

I won't I don't know her name you know, you fuck a girl one time over this over fifteen years ago. Say no names. I won't. I don't know her name, but you brought her while we were drinking and I went, Louis, I don't think you should have sex with her. And then you came back and you're like, I had sex with her. Why did you? Why did you say I shouldn't have sex with her because she was underage? Dan, be careful with her. She was a drunk Russian girl and you brought her to. She was like, oh, she was like a Russian lady and she was you guys were making out at Eastville and I was like this bad woman to fuck. I was like I go. Louis don't fuck my bit

hey, Louis, that's kind of my closer right now. I don't remember this at all. She was you went to you or Julian McCullough's place. Okay, I remember first of all she was. I don't think she was rushing. She looks so drunk. She was taking her time. She was so drunk. She was taking her time. She was so drunk. She was so drunk that she probably just sounded like she had an accent. It was wild. She was fucking hammered.

I met her, we met her. You and I were smoking cigarettes outside. I go, I don't think she fucked with you. I met her selling comedy club tickets earlier in the day. Yeah. And I invited her to the show that night and she came and we just got fucking hammered at the show. And then she was like, I want you to fuck me.

And then I was like, cool, let's do it. And then I paid Julian McCall of $40 to let me go back to his apartment. Because he lived below Doc Holliday's. Yeah, and I fucked her on his bed. Do I remember, I fucked her and then I came inside. I didn't know this fucking crazy drunk bitch. I came inside of her and then, no, I was like,

I was like, oh, can I come inside of you? She was like, yeah. And then I came inside of her and then I was like, I was like, oh, do you go on the pill or something? She's like, no. And I was like, oh, well, that's weird. I I was like, oh, do you want the pill or something? She's like, no. And I was like, oh, well that's weird. I was like, what do we do? She goes, wait, I got it.

And she goes, and she just shot it out of her cunt onto Julian Sheets. Now that, that's an idea lady. That's an idea man. Dude, that's the funniest image I've ever had in the longest time. It's her just sh and cum all over.

All over. Holy shit, dude. That's so fucking funny. Dude, the first girl I banged in New York was this hot bartender that I worked with. And we were drinking after. We banged in the bathroom. And after we had sex, I go, do you want to hang out sometime? She goes, oh, I got a boyfriend.

And I was like, you have a boyfriend? And she goes, yeah. And I was like, hang out some time? She goes, oh, I got a boyfriend. And I was like, you have a boyfriend? And she goes, yeah. And I was like, is he crazy? And she goes, oh yeah. And I'm like that. And dude, I was just riding the subway home like, oh fuck, what did I do? This is what good, you can fuck chicks in New York

if they're cheating, because in New York, nobody can have guns. If you go outside in New York City, all these husbands are like, Bobby, they have 30 fucking guns, and they just go crazy. You're gonna literally, I know they're not crazy when they bought the guns, but then you fucked their wife. They fucked some loser comedian after a show.

By the way, these are times when we were losers. I mean, dude. Losers in comedy. Losers. By the way, I was a waiter. I wasn't even a comic, I was an open mic'er. Yeah, I know, but that's what I'm saying. Like, you're still a comic. But all you youngsters at home. By the way, you would always say. I wasn't even a comic, I was an open mic'er. Yeah, I know, but that's what I'm saying. Still a comic, all you youngsters at home.

By the way, you would always say that, and I always appreciate it. Because he read the Jerry Seinfeld quote from the foreword of his book. Yeah, you're not a comic until it pays your bills, or what? No, no, no, it's the first time you step on stage, you're a comic, that's that. He does the whole speech in the book,

and he convinced every shitty comedian to be saying it. When did the book come out? This is- What, Scientology? The book, Sign, Sign Language?. It's I called the Scientology Scientology is a I S E I is a great name for a Jerry Seinfeld. What is the news? The news out there? He's putting the souls of the planet. I resent the comment. I mean, like I'm like, he was doing mics every night. I'm like, what are you talking about? You're a comedian you do comedy every night I don't need a fucking book to tell I don't think Jesus

Do you think what if he had a gun you think you're a comic until you get you pay your bills? I that's how I didn't feel I felt like I'm oh, thank you very much I felt like I wasn't a comic until I moved to New York and that's all I did was comedy That's it. No, no jobs. Well no jobs. I mean, yeah, I didn't have a job until 20 you're an amateur comedian If you're not paying your bill, okay an amateur comedian. I was an amateur comedian. Yeah, I was an amateur But you're not a comic. I think a comic does imply that you're professional. Yes, you're comic You're a comic when you're a comic and then the book was when you when you would meet girls when you were doing comedy and you met girls and they were like, what do you do? I didn't tell girls until I was a comic until

I that's all I did. I would say it like a secret. I'd be like, oh, I work at like those Caminos and then they'd be like, well, what do you do at night? And you're like, I do stand yeah. No, I'm still embarrassed to be a comedian. It's an embarrassing profession. Yeah, one. I did comedy girl would ask me. I was like, I'm a world renowned. Yeah, I am the voice be a comedian. It's an embarrassing profession. One, I did comedy girl would ask me, I was like, I'm a world renowned. I am the voice of a generation. Um, what do you guys, what do you guys say? What's your lie to in public? How

do you get out of saying you're a comic in public? What do you mean? I say I'm visiting friends. They just had a baby. I say I make chocolate flip flop lollipops. What do you mean? I say flip up like on a plane. If someone asks you, you say you're a comic or bartender I say I say I'm a show refrigeration. I say I work for myself. That's good. And then they go do what do you do? You're a contractor doing what stop asking somebody questions. I hate what you go. I make I make bad people go away. Yeah I'm Kojak He's like I make paying customers. What do you?

I'm Kojak. He's like, I make paying customers go away. I make paying customers really fucking doubt their choices. What do you put on, you have to, you put a comic on when you fill in a format, right? Or when you have to, what do you do for occupation? Self-employed. You don't say comedian, stand-up comedian? No.

No, I do. All right, but self-employed. Self-employed. Contractor. Killer. Contract killer. But-employed. Contractor. Killer. Contract killer. But now you're a comedian. But why would you lie if somebody asked you your job?

You just want to get into the conversation. Get on a plane and someone goes. Well because it's they want to, oh would you know, do you know. What happens when you. My uncle. A joke doesn't work. It's a fucking nightmare.

I sat next to another comic recently and it was like a Jersey guy who I knew who he was just from his name. He's like a guy with like headline like. Rich Voss. No. But it was like a Jersey guy who I knew who he was just from his name he's like a guy with like headline like Rich Voss no you tell me I've been knowing you for 20 years I've been knowing you but it was like that was a perfect Rich Voss I feel like you misspoke but it was perfect yeah it was just like one of those like Jersey like like who's a guy who like had the one video that went viral? Victor Beto? Dude, he watched me. Can I tell you something right now?

I will never shit on that man ever because he watched me bomb so hard at the old stand that when he looks at me, I'm like, yeah, I'm not a comic. I wouldn't even tell him I'm a comic. Because of how bad I bombed at the old stand. Vic DeBattetto? Yeah, now you're in my head about it. Yeah, you got it.

Remember Vince August? That guy fuckin' Murdered! It doesn't say, I'm huntin' deer on the, he was a judge. Yeah, he was a judge and he fuckin' killed. He'd go to Caroline's and just fuckin' murdered. There was a, are we talking about old hacks you kill? What?

What a hack. Is he not? I have no idea. No, I don't think he's a hack. Who is he? Vince August? He was a lawyer, judge, I guess you have to be a lawyer. Oh, I know who he is, he bald, right? Yeah, bald. Yes, I know exactly think he's a hack. Who is he? Vince August? He's like a lawyer, judge, I guess you have to be a lawyer. Oh, I know who he is.

He's bald. Yes, I know exactly who he is. He used to fucking murder. Who else? There was nothing hacky about him. No, I was thinking of Steve Marshall. No offense, Steve Marshall. That's who I was.

What was his thing? It's so funny to call a comic a hack and then add no offense. What was his closing bit? A rose or something? He used to, he used to, he would tell you that. He would fucking go on stage and go, why do Jewish people have such big noses? Why?

Because the air is free. He would do that street joke in the middle of his act. Pretty good. I hooked up with him one night. Whoa. What? What? We met up.

I wonder gay Mary, fuck Mary Kilment so much, do you? At the cellar. I dated him for a year. No, not that. Yesterday we had something hot and heavy for a quick set. It was purely physical. But I never saw his act. We were downstairs.

Never met my parents. It was me, Eddie Ifft, and him, and there was three girls. You can call Bobby Eddie Iffy. And we hooked up. Eddie peeled his girl off, took him to his apartment. Which is the move by the way, shout out to Eddie F. Not a move. That's the move.

No, no. Separate the weak one from the pack. No, at the end of the, so me and Steve went to their little place where they lived. Sure. Because they were college girls. And the girl, the other girl was a lesbian, so he was just being a wingman.

So I was with this other chick, we were fooling around in her fucking bunk bed, and then I looked down the hallway, and that dude. I wanna be a wingman dude. This dude, with this dude, I look, he's fucking eating the lesbian out. And he just gave me the thumbs up. I was like, fuck great.

The girl comes back, that was with Eddie Ift, and she's like, fucking crazy. We're like, what happened? He goes, he made me watch his special, his, like his 15 minute standup thing. And then he made me look at his headshots. And she's like, I want to go. He goes, you can't. My sister, she'll get mad if I bring somebody back, you got to wait until she goes to sleep. So she had to stay in the room watching his specialist

stand up and looking at his headshots. Me too, story I've ever heard. Jesus Christ. Yeah. I would rather be, I wish he would have jerked off in front of me. I would rather be brutally raped than have to watch an Eddie F special, oh my God.

Well she was so bummed, did you have sex? She goes, no, I just picked out his headshot. Oh my God, police are like, we can't even even we don't know how to administer a rape kit on this How is that Eddie F's half-hour taping? He's very funny. Yeah, he's funny. I'm just fucking around. Well. Yeah, we're kidding around Steve Marshall's great Eddie F's great fucking Separation thing where you were like And that's why you're having a fun hang. That's why you have the good fucking coaster.

Yeah, you're right, we should just leave it, that this guy's a rapist. He didn't rape. We shouldn't fucking clean it up. He did the opposite of it. The girl wanted to get raped and he didn't. She wanted to get fucking. She goes, that's pretty crazy.

You know, it's not a closer, it's my legs. He goes, no, no, no, watch this. Exactly. He's mouthing the know, it's not a closer is my legs. He goes watch this Exactly, he's mouthing the bits Everybody else had a good time. Even the lesbian got eaten up by Steve You guys ever heard this I want to wear her legs as earrings. That's funny that I've heard that before I never heard it I've heard like I want to wear your knees as earmuffs. I've heard like if I want to wear your teeth and ears as a necklace That's that's what Lewis says. That's what Louis says when he gets the girls into the forest. This is a real Lewis and Joe episode. You know what, Joe, you do that. Bobby and I are

having fun and you make us feel like that's what he does. That's his thing. He's a divide and conquer narcissist. He's a narcissist. He's a very good. He is a, he's a secret narcissist. That's right. He's very, he's like, oh, I'm a great guy. That's why, that's why he can't marry Tim. Cause he's, he's got to talk. That's right. Yes. I would like to get a word in it.

That's not bride thinking, dude. You don't have bride brain. You need to have better gay bride brain. What about fuck, marry, kill the, the protect our park guests Ari, Mark, Shane. I'm marrying Shane. I'm fucking Mark and I'm killing Ari. Dan answered like he's been thinking about this for six months. I watch every episode thinking that. It took us an hour to figure out the first three.

You just shot it out. Can I say right now? I mean, I actually, I like legitimately like Ari is one of the coolest people in the world. He is. Yeah. Like literally one of the sweetest, kindest, he is funniest and genuinely good people, but I would kill him. And I really mean that out of every, I could not have, I might, you know what though, touch that asshole or that cock dude.

It's so gross. And the face, the face. Imagine having to fucking kiss him. If he was like, I'm about to shoot whatever weird, whatever weird food he just ate. You just want Norman going, I came. Yeah. I will. Will you at least jerk me off? Yeah, but his come probably tastes like shit. Whatever Mongolian dish he's eating now. Oh, you've never had spider eggs. I had a spider egg omelet, but you don't have to. And then Shane just goes, get

over here. You're my bitch. And you're like, shut up, daddy. If you're married, you don't have to fuck the person. Where he goes, we're going to watch football. And you're just like, I feel so safe. I would, I would marry Shane. Yeah. Marry Shane. Kill Ari. I agree with him. Kill Ari. Fuck Mark. And I would just want to have a good old fun time with Mark an afternoon in bed with Mark. No, it's a fun time. He goes, Hey, you come more like I'm coming. You're like, Oh, get over here. He's under the radar. Like handsome. Like you don't realize

Mark's actually a pretty good body on a great shape. Yeah. Just a fun time. He's probably a nice piece. Yeah. But I wouldn't, I. Are you seeing he wouldn't invite me to his own wedding? I thought you knew yeah, I wouldn't I would definitely marry Shane. Yeah cutie patootie and change nice Change a nice but mark is a fucking annoying. I'd fucking get an all-american with Shane Yeah, you're getting an all-american. You know what you're gonna get with Shane. Yeah, there's no there's no secret like the wedding night It's like now you can't leave he's gonna be cheating on you they're all gonna be cheating oh good life I don't ask him his question well you don't know doesn't hurt you know what well you don't know

doesn't hurt you know I can tell so why let him go woman's intuition is never wrong yeah you would have the feeling like I know you just like you kiss me I can tell so why let him go Women's intuition is never wrong. Yeah You would have the feeling like I know you just have you like you kissed me different when you came home from let me smell your Dick mark, which is never wrong and a woman's sweatshirt is on your body Man that was one of those ones that really is why it is why I bombed because he was loving it He loved it too much. He put too much. He liked it too much. He really got too excited. I'll tell you the honest truth.

We heard what happened. I couldn't decide if I was going to say back or torso or body, and it got all mumbled. Yeah, you don't need to explain it. And I liked it really very much. It was too much. Because it's a woman's sweatshirt. It's pink.

I like that sweatshirt. Yeah, for a girl. Real ass dude. More like real sass dude. Dickhead. Yes, dude, dickhead. God, I got to go back to the cbs. I need to bring you with me to the cbs so I can get that gift card that I left. I bet you take the hit. I'm going to take the hit. You're not going to take the hit. You're not going to take

that. He's taking the hit on the counter. Yeah, it's you taking the hit. This is going to go power bomb a fucking cbs. That's what I want. I some lady with press on nails is just going to walk right over me and I need Lewis there to Protect me and he knows how to power bomb Look at a club. I mean we got it Double not that can you tell that around your neck? I'm having a great time. This is a good show. Do ads plugs plot plugs plugs

At the end plugs plugs, let's go you're the logs. I'm torn all over the place right end. Plugs. Let's go. You're the I got a I'm torn all over the place right now. Go to Lewis of skanks dot com. That's my website. The next dates this month I'll be in St. Louis at the funny bone St. Louis and then I got American Comedy Company San Diego. I got Denver, Las Vegas, Point Pleasant and many more coming up. They're all up on the website.

Check out both my other podcast Legion of skanks and the realest up. They're all up on the website. Check out both my other podcasts, Legion of Skanks and the Real S podcast. And yeah. Check out both my specials. I got two specials. Dan, what do you got? Dan. I'm in the middle of my plug. He's in the middle.

I got two specials. How many specials? On YouTube that you guys can just watch for free. Got the half hour and Louis J. Gomez presents Louis J. Gomez. Thank you, Dan. Check them out on YouTube. Are they both a half hour?

No, one's an hour. No, Louis J. Gomez is an hour and then the half hour is half hour. How's the new one doing the new special? Yeah, the new one that I'm working on right now. No, the one you did. So yeah, good. Yeah, 600,000 views on X. It's awesome. Um, I won't ask me how many YouTube I can put it on X. You gotta show me how to put it on X put on X. I just put the whole thing up. I might do that. Yeah. I got like 200 and some thousand on YouTube, but X Dan, what do you got? That's where my people are. Yeah. Hell yeah. What

do you got April 12th and April 13th? I'm going to be at the Omaha funny bone. Um, and then I will be at the DC improv 19th through the 21st. We're adding a late show on the 21st. That's a Sunday, uh, in DC, May 9th through the 11th. I'll be at the Providence comedy connection and I love it too. And then a grand Rapids. I'm coming back. We're doing Dr. Grins the 16th through the 18th dance soda.com. You can watch my new special on the road on my YouTube channel and check out my podcast. Soder. I love you guys. Dr. Grins. Joe, what do you got? Need to borrow a few bucks. Joe, what do you got? Now when

you sell them all out, Joe, what do you got? No, when you sell them all out Joe, what do you got? I'm in Buffalo back to Buffalo Also, oh Burlington. I'm doing some room in Burlington. You're not doing it. It's all no, I did it all be Higher ground is awesome rock venue. Oh, I can't wait great Great club. You're gonna love it. Higher Ground April 12th, Buffalo April 25th to the 27th Helium. Yes. If you go to Burlington, this place is closing down and I'm trying to tell everyone to go there before it closes down. It's called Four Corners of the Earth. It's the greatest sandwiches I've ever had in my life. I think you'd really enjoy it. I'll go there. And then of course Los Angeles, May 2nd. That's slowly filling up slowly but surely during the big festival. I'm up against the biggest show ever. So come get that. Are you up against that Hollywood Bowl show? Yeah. Jesus.

I'm gonna be out there, let me get on your show. I already have three openers. Let me go on before you for 10 minutes. He just told you no. I just said no. I have three people. It was straight up no. He said no.

It wasn't like sure Bobby, of course. I thought it was gonna be literally of course Bobby Say no more. You've done so much for me. Yeah Show you can do the show I'll have four openers. Let me go on before you I did ten minutes You know you should do is bring them out at the end or your openers. It's a lot of people who are the Sarah Talamash? Okay, whatever trash Don't say that go ahead Luke bonus who was doing skank fest, right? trash

Fucking supportive of my friends while we Lewis Lewis, by the way, the paramount fucking murder. I'm doing a murder paramount paramount last week, me and Jay and Mike Fiona and uh, and uh, Louis J. Gomez fucking murdered. Um, and then, uh, check out my specials What do you call it fucking? I don't even this year's material material I hate myself and I literally can't think of my he's got three class for everybody all on YouTube and Tuesdays with stories, of course and go follow me on punch up live for God's sake. Yes punch up live fucking rules Yeah on there. I go to punch up. I mean I want to be a bunch of live, but I got you Upload some stuff. I don't upload I'm gonna be go to punch up dot live Punch up dot. What is it punch up punch up live?

It's punch up dot live slash Robert Kelly slash tickets if you want to go to mine. I'm gonna be that's not me That's Joe. I'm pulling it up now. All right. We'll pull it out. I had to cancel that. Indianapolis States. Why? My niece is moving out of school and I want to be there and hang out and help because I'm a good boy shot. Lewis, come on. I'm going to be a Houston. I'm going to be in Houston at the riot comedy festival and then I'm going to mothership. I think it's sold out. So I don't know if that, I don't think that club sells out the second it out San Antonio, Texas at laugh out loud with mush

the 11th through the 13th and then Somerville Somerville, New Jersey go back up the 18th the 19th Lafayette and the 20th at Club 337. I love that club. Then I'm at Boston, Laugh Boston, the 26th through the 27th. Love that club too.

Sarasota, Florida. And then I'm, go scroll down. Where else am I gonna be? Atlanta, I'm doing Bone to Pick Live in Atlanta, Stanford, Port Charlotte, St. Louis. I got a lot of PunchUp.live, go there, slash Robert Kelly. What's up? Really?

What? You're just gonna promote Bone to Pick live on the regs? Why not? Why not? It's a fuckin' competing show. I don't know. Sounds like you have a bone to pick. It's not.

It's not. You want to be on the show? We got, and spread the word about the podcast. So go to punchup.live. My special is up there right now. Punchup.live is the best. I fuckin' love it. Uncensored, they put all the stuff up there. My special's up there right now punch up dot live is the best I fucking love it uncensored They put all the stuff up there my specials up there. I'm gonna be putting hopefully maybe my other special going up there

So there you go. That's all my shit up there. Just go check it out Also, yeah guys go subscribe to our YouTube channel So you can get the audio version of this on the white kid ABU D audio feed as well So make sure you guys leave us reviews do all all that stuff, share it with a friend. It's The Regs, we're now twice a month. Every other Wednesday night we come out, so make sure you guys subscribe and tune into the live thing. And also I'll say, Skank Fest tickets on sale April 20th.

Yes! April 20th, so get them 12 p.m. Eastern, you'll create them.com slash Skank Fest. Grab those tickets, they're going to sell out faster than they've ever sold out before. We have so many amazing things planned, so many amazing comedians look at the ball maybe I'll get the polo right now get the polo right now you got Quinn you want Quinn guys we're not announcing anybody just yet

you want Trish here we go this This time Nick can follow. Coming up. Promise you. Oh he didn't answer last time right? Yeah. No. City Mall, Callahan. Yo Nick you're on live The Regs with Robert Kelly, Louis J. Gomez, Dan Soder. I promised Louis I can get you to Skankfest. Will you commit? This is going out live. I'm busy right now. I'm busy. I'm vacuuming and doing the dishes. Can I call you guys in about a month? That's so fucking weird. You just called about this. Cause you were dreaming about it. Well, yeah, because I, I think I direct messaged Lewis. He did direct, by the way, as soon as you said that, I was like, oh, he did direct us and I didn't get back to him

yet cause I didn't know what to say. What a piece of shit. Luke Monas is there. No, no, no, no, no. I mean, I'll answer you now, Nick. He also doesn't like me. You want to know what you're talking about? Well, I can understand that.

Nick, come through Skankfest. Well, what, what? All right. Well, when is it? September 26th through 29th Vegas I can I'm doing uncle vitties but you know alright let me let me circle that. I don't, I know. I fucking, I haven't done stand-up since last September.

So I was sort of trying to take a year off. Nick, most of the comics at the festival suck. Just come do it. Yeah, come watch college football with Joe and I on Saturday. Now you make me feel really special. No, we'll go to the sports book. We'll go to see tits.

We'll smoke cigars or whatever. We'll smoke cock. I'd rather the latter.. We'll go to see tits. We'll smoke cigars or whatever. Smoke cock. I rather the latter. I got to be honest. These cigars. Anyways, is Rick Crome going to be there? That's all I'm asking. Bobby looks sad.

You all right? I want him to answer. I hope he comes. Bobby, you don't want me to come. You don't even like me. I fucking love you. What are you talking about? You.

I must have said this to 10 people in the last year. I go, I fucking text this guy. He never even says hello. I fucking love you. I think you're the funniest guy out there right now. Right now. Right now. He needs election cycle. Maybe not right now, but 2004.

My God. No, I think he's fucking. Oh, Joe, how dare you. I just love you. Yeah, September 26 through 29. I'm going to be a fucking idiot. I'm going to be a fucking idiot. I'm going to be a fucking idiot. I'm going to be a fucking idiot. I'm going to be a fucking idiot. No, I think he's fucking Yeah, September 26 through 29 you're in come for one day or two

Probably one night. There's a lot of STDs and shit He's coming all right, just let me before I give you the ends But I don't know've you guys have asked me many times and I don't know how I've fucking not done it. I get me on the street only because I hate getting on planes and dry. You know, make the drive, make the drive. Wait, wait, isn't it in Texas? No, it's in Vegas, Vegas, maybe it's on the old, the old strip. Oh, further than I thought vegas maybe it's on the old the old strip oh further than i thought oh it's on the old street yeah not for the three days but yeah i i gotta it sounds like it sounds like a soft yes wait a minute hold on before i say yes because tommy tommy has lined up a ton of shit because again i i wanted to take almost a year off, which I have,

and he's suppose he has this fucking huge, but I think he's full of shit. Hold on. Oh, what an ABC. Comedians, watch your mouth. He's got to go to this guy. You're 90% in that I'm 90% in. I think you should be our first guest on the live show. Like me the first time I had anal. Good night everybody.

Hold on. April. March. September. Maniac. Hold on September. Hold on. Just I just let me check with Tommy.

But yeah, I'm 90. I'm 95% in. Yeah, nice. Love it. Yes. Yeah. He's got literally he has this whole plan for me. Literally, he has me working like 19 nights in a row, like, you know, one show a night in October because of the election and all this shit. So this would be a good tune up. Yeah, I I Hope so God. I don't know how to do stand-up anymore. I swear to God I fucking nightmares about it

Not cuz that's taking off so long All right, well you're in you're in all right. We got to get back to the pod you're in I'll call you later What do you get a bigger name in the other line? We got nobody I want to have guests. They don't have guests We can have Nick. Hey Bobby, you look fucking great by the way. I'm fucking glad. I really thought you were going to pull up Patrice on us. Well, I just watched 4th of July last night and I was the fattest. My son was watching and he goes, Dad, how fat were you?

Nice kid. Yeah. All right, this is getting awkward. I'll get off now. Thanks, buddy. We love you, Nick, thank you. Love you, buddy. You know, it's crazy, I found a video.

He really did go like last night. He goes, oh, dad, how fat were you? I found a video of me, you and Gary Veeder at Comedy Cellar Vegas. And it was from 2019. And you look like you're just in a fat suit. It looks like this Bobby put on a bunch of makeup like you were in Tropic Thunder.

Dude, that movie is, I'm so big in that movie. It's unbelievable. There's a side shot of me and Joe and that girl sitting at the table, and it's the side of me and my stomach. No Bobby, that was Earth. Let me just untie this real quick. It's his birthday though. It was the, No Bobby that was Earth. Let me just untie this real quick. It's his birthday though.

It was the. Ah that was bad. It was the Earth. Earth. Got it. Earth, Earth would have saved you the bandana. Earth. Earth cake.

Yeah. Earth cake. Big, big, big in that movie. Yeah. And the movie is big. I couldn't fit into the booth. I remember I had a shimmy in and then the whole scene I was just holding my stomach.

You could see my stomach Flopping over like tits on the booth great scene great scene good movie by the way the movie is available on everything now You don't have to go to Louie's website. It's on whatever the fuck Amazon Everything all the stuff Great movie Lewis was in it his name is in it. Don't that was a great scene. Don't watch the movie Why isn't that if you love Lewis you won't watch it if that's seen why wasn't that scene put in the credits or something well why isn't there can you release that scene out it's released if you buy the bonus on Louis CK's web but can't

we throw it on the internet what I said look bonus look bonus at skank that's good I got the Paul you got to give me bonus. That's what you would you turn this into JFL. GFL is over but it's that's fucking crazy. That Montreal's is gone. Yeah it's gone. That's really why. Did you ever do a Gala. I never did a Gala. Yeah I barely did new faces. Yeah I know. I did a bunch of gallows. Yeah I don't even know where they used to suck because they they told you had to be clean Oh, yeah, and then they just they stopped that they stopped the last last couple gallows You could say whatever the fuck you want. It was great Montreal County Festival some of the happiest best

Funnest days of my whole life. I mean just new did you just do new faces? No, I did it four times I did it a few times. Yeah, I did it just new phases. They never want to be back not once you'd be back now though That's over now that you started your You want to be the head Now that was a special time when you're up there it's No, that was a special time when you're up there. It's really fun. It was good. It was a fucking, it was a comedy camp. It was like, we all hung out. You got to be with people you weren't with, but now skank fest is, I mean, skank fest hang is there's something different about it, but it's better than Montreal. It's better than Montreal, but it's different. But they, but they, they, it's, um, it's crazy, but it's, it's, it's this, it's a weird loving. The fans are fucking

mental. JFL felt like you were getting something. That's the thing. That's the difference. We, we made this. It's a, by the way, listen, and it's kind of funny cause like now Skankfest is in our seventh year. All of our friends are the biggest headliners in the fucking world. Like if you look at the lineup, it's actually crazy. Like, it's just crazy. It's like fucking 60 or 70 of the best comics in the fucking world, and then a bunch of guys you've never heard of that are also the best

young comics in the world. And we've sort of all grown into this level, but we forget that it's like, you know, this is genuinely bigger than any JFL, than any moon tower. Like in terms of the lineup, how big it is and how many fucking fans these people have. They have a JFL had a sprinkle in a bunch of European people that a sprinkling a bunch of what you have, they had to, they had to have a, even the nasty show became diluted

a little bit. When, when I, the first nasty show I did was the Apollo hosting a tell Jim Jeffries, Louis CK. And the next one I did was a Geraldo, Patrice. Um, I think it was, uh, the Apollo was fucking nuts. It was like a real fucked up nasty show. But that was the difference is Montreal. You felt like you're like, Oh my God, I fucking made it. Like I'm in. And then you're seeing people that you wouldn't normally see. You're like, Oh, there's a fucking car. Andy Kindler. Steve Martin is here. Yeah. I met Segura at a fucking Starbucks in 2012. Yeah. It was just like, Oh, this guy, Tom. And then he became like one of the biggest. I like that. I like the Andy Kindler thing they did

at the State of the Union. That was fun. State of the Industry. State of the Industry, that was fun. Now the show at Skank Fest, that is, the Jodorows and Ari Secret Show. Jodorows and Ari shit on everyone. Dude, it's fucking excellent.

It's just. Well, yeah, he brought me into the fight. He goes, you gotta come check out the show. And he just brought me into the front He goes Bobby Kelly's here and then just said they didn't know I was there they started Yelled up my name. He goes but Robert Bobby Kelly said they just started. Oh fuck him and they just started trashing me That's fun. It was pretty funny. And then what's his name came out to? Fucking hey Hinchcliffe Hinchcliffe came out Hey Fucking hey Hinchcliffe Hinchcliffe came up. That's funny. Hey, no Montreal was great but also it was it was friend you'd bump into everybody everywhere

which was fun Bobby Bobby you're still the fat one so I'm gonna give you those jokes can't get out of it I'm still the fat one. So I'm gonna give you those jokes. Can't get out of it. I'm still the fat one But what your seat, huh? Huh? I Love it. I like Lewis's like he's like this is where he's like extra gay at band today That he's gonna go to skanks day. They're like, yeah, you guys are right We should go hit that fucking bees hive with a baseball bat That was skanks tonight. Yeah birthday skanks was on Mullen Nick Mullen. Yeah, I like Chris Mullen From st. John's

Okay, all right there we go folks we did it yeah, we do it that's the way we roll we fucking come in hot and What are you the fuck? What do you guys think? I protect our practice doing five hours. Yeah, well They're doing drugs and getting drunk Yeah, if you guys were cool But they're doing drugs and getting drunk. Yeah, if we you guys were cool We can sit here for all fucking day and do this show get fucked up good little funky when we get stoned right now All right, yes, and we yeah No, let's get a little high dude go Bobby be fucking cool

No, we'll take a two you and Joe do the Bobby Joe gay show me and Danny take one hit of weed We're gonna fucking come back Guys when me and Dan leave watch how all the energy is sucked out of the room. Good luck getting a voice-off No point guard no voice guy no fine but you're gonna be too good. Like you're gonna go, you're gonna do something like that. When, when Wayne, when Wayne left the set for Wayne and Garth, Garth was freaking out. It's called Wayne's world. Jack is Wayne and Garth. No, I said Wayne left the set.

Sounds like the Garth freaked out. That's how like you promote it without getting in trouble or sued. He goes, I want to watch an episode of Wayne and Garth and you go, so it's called. I do a great voice. It's Mr Orange in Reservoir Dogs. All right, that's it. Fuck you, fuck you. I'm fucking dying here. I'm fucking dying. Pull up the clip. That's dead on that's fucking go. Go out. That was Karen. Please go kick her out, dude. I wish I'm gonna wait to shoot it to the top of the stairs that I'm gonna put my

foot on her forehead like Santa Claus. I get it. Christmas story. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, dude. It's her. You take it's her. No, I would not. It's absolutely. It's a hundred percent her Joe. If I got a camera if you invited now to our show I Did not you did I swear to God you invited two people today not just one two. I did This is it Guys you're not looking at the door

Why don't we do one we do less audio Wait, it's not looking at the door. Why don't we do less audio? Wait, it hasn't happened yet. Karen! Hey! I'm uncomfortable. His face is insane. We all buckle in. I did not invite her.

Joe looked at me for one second, it was one of the funniest looks I've ever seen. I knew you were full of shit, but his face was like, oh my God. I don't invite a bitch to the show. I did not invite her Joe looked at me for one second. It was one of the first looks I Knew you were full of shit, but his face is genuinely scary. Hold on. It's further in this. Oh, it's a few seconds in Everybody remember my what my voice sounded. Yeah, we remember fuck you. I'm fucking dying. Yeah, I'm fucking dying right there It's still a few more seconds God here it comes I mean you have the no no no fast forward a little more New our presented

I love the French towards the end of the scene That's a fail towards the end of the scene. Las FR, l'encro-l'en- Oh here it comes, here it comes, okay. He slashes my fucking ear! Wait, here it is! That fucking bastard! Ah shit. What the fuck is happening? Here's he doing here? What's he doing here?

Here it is, here it is. Fuck you! Cuts my fucking ear up! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! I'm fucking dying here! I'm fucking dying!

How good is that? Fuck you! I'm fucking dying here. That's pretty good. I guess it wasn't worth the whole bit. You guys could have smoked and come back by now. I was waiting for something, dude, but point proven. That's what you guys want to watch without me and Dan. That's how bad it was with me. Hey, Louis, can I go smoke with you? Let's go. Let's look at not what the show we don't know. You do the show. We're taking a quick five minute break. We're going to come back sillier than ever. Five minutes. I'm going to voice the timer. It's going to be 12 minutes. Guaranteed 12

minutes, five minutes. Ready? Ready? Go. Wait, I haven't hit the timer yet. This is crazy. Oh yeah. Oh, it's exhausting. We gotta get new friends. We can't get new friends. We chose those friends. Hey, Mush! You're talking to Mush instead of me? We should bring Mush on. No! We're not gonna bring Mush on. His name's Mush.

It hurts me to think about how many people are fast-forwarding right now. Nobody's fast-forwarding. It's devastating. It's nobody's fast forward like hitting 30 second I can't believe you let them go smoke Smoke let them have a little let them get high the drug addicts a child I could be home with right now What are you talking about? Aren't you glad that you aren't you don't you aren't you glad that you get to get away for a little bit? For a little bit, but it's a long time.

But he's not even talking to you yet. Nobody say, go, ah, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. We got the polo in. What should we talk about? Who's got a topic? Somebody yell out a topic. What's like improv? Four fucking retarded people who can't even come up with a word. What about your movie last night?

Are you going to do another movie? I'd like to do another movie. Somebody, one time, Louis said, he goes, if you can raise the money, we can make a sequel to Fourth of July. What would be the sequel? I had an idea. You What would be the sequel? I had an idea. You want to know the idea? Yeah, tell me the idea.

The mother dies, kills herself maybe. I don't know. She dies. And then the dad is just, you know, he's quiet. We have no relationship. And he goes, well, I guess I'll come stay with you. I'll come visit. And I'm like, visit?

And then you get that quiet, weird dad in New York City with Jeff and Beth. and then they had a kid now God are they coming back already that is The sequel I don't know about that you can't do a sequel to that movie Well, we wouldn't do a sequel but something like along the lines or something a spiritual sequel now when you played the piano Yeah, nailed it nailed it you think so What are we gonna start criticizing my performance? Jesus I thought it was great. It was good. It was a good movie. It was a great movie second

I didn't direct the film. It was great. I thought the directing was awesome. I thought it was too I thought the whole thing was great. I don't know about a sequel though. I don't think you do a sequel Well, maybe not a sequel but a movie, you know another movie We'll see it's summer weather. We've all been there the old sticky thighs Nuts clang into your leg. Then you go get some sweet undies pull them It's balls off literally the best underwear on the planet And they have the dual pouch technology. You put your cock in balls.

It looks like an underwear model. And it's also kind of cool. You don't have to. If you have a small dick, not that we know anybody that has a small dick. But you don't have to. You don't have to use the hole. You can just wear them as regular underwear if so be it.

If you tried to get them in the little pouch and they don't fit. Well, you have to get your dick a little hard first. But then you get to unsheathe it. Oh, we just lost you, all right, and so. That's how good that ad was. But we don't need it for this, because we love Robert Patton.

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The Rich Mouses underwear. R-E-G-Z. Regs. Sheathunderwear.com promo code regs for 20% off. Hell yeah. Is this them already? We're back, we're back, we're silly. Thank God. We're silly. We're back with Silly! Thank God!

Thank God! Not even half of five minutes! How did that go? How are you guys doing? Did you do an edible? How did you smoke that quick? We fucking put fire to it and breathed it in. How funny that you're back and he's late. I know, I hit stop and he wasn't... He had to go pee.

We talked, Joe wants to do a sequel to his movie. Not a sequel, but we'll make another joy 50 July movie first the mom dies It's called mama's dead But we make another movie. I don't know. I'd like to make I just made a film You should do if you do another and this is the weed talking should do it in the cinema shut up He's doing it now. Yeah, probably Keep it in the cinematic universe.

I never thought I'd say this. Like if you do another story. How bad was that? It was bad. Like that story, Joe, but that story exists in your new movie's world. That's what I'm saying, I said a similar thing, a spiritual sequel.

I like it. Louis, we'll bring back Louis. I'm back, hi guys, energy's here. We're here, hey guys. Louis can't come back in the movie, he was just a random guy. He wasn't even in the movie though. I know, but he could play a different part.

You know what would be nice? If one of you motherfuckers would put me in something and not cut me out, you know? I don't make it. I put you in stuff. What? This. This?

Yeah, I put you on my show. The thing I had, I put you in. A podcast? You got a network. I'm talking about a fucking movie. You got a fucking festival. You got everything. A TV show, fuckface.

Skanks came out of this. You fucking asshole. You fucking, Dickman cuts me out. I put you in everything I did. Who the fuck else just filmed the fucking thing that I was like, what the fuck am I not in? Shane? Probably Shane, yeah.

Probably another one. Shane did do a whole thing with that. Were you in that? Coming out on Netflix now. You weren't in it? Stavros is in it though. Cool. Stavros put me in his movie.

Shane's good friend Stavros. I played Stavros his dad that's for his movie when did you do that six months ago months ago no way yeah yeah it was good yeah it was great little movie can't wait for it to come out cool I'll put you in a movie make a movie Bob it's called a porn you guys are gonna fuck you had a fucking, you had a pilot in the woods, you invited fucking, I think Miss Pat or somebody, go fuck yourself, Bob. I didn't invite Miss Pat. You invited a black woman.

I didn't invite, I didn't invite. You invited a black woman. Yeah, we did do. You wanna be in Comedy Camp? What, is that the pilot? Yeah. Yeah. Why wouldn't I wanna be in honestly? How do you do comedy? Because you wouldn't. There's no phones. There's no nothing. That's great. You have five days.

You're putting no, no, nothing. That's the premise of the show. No, no rules, no topics. Well, hold on. What? Yeah, I should be. Who's in comedy camp? Russell Peters. He got good friend Russell Peters. He's your good friend Russell Peters. He's a great friend of mine. Me and Russell are very close. I love what's Russell's middle name. I saw them have lunch Peters. Did you know Russell? His name's Russell Peters. Do you know? Yes, it's so bad at him. He couldn't think of Russell. Russell, it's Peter. Did you know Russell's father was like hunted Tigers? Yeah, Bill Peters Build the tiger hunter. I swear to god

Tigers he has a tiger pelt that his father killed he used to in the in my dad was an alcoholic He made up stories like that all the time. He I'm telling you his father was a fucking he hunted tigers He actually used to go kill fucking cobras and shit who did his dad Russell Russell's a fucking badass Motherfuckers father used to play a little flute and a snake would come out of a Yeah, Russell Jim Norton, okay Jewish David All right, who else Russell Peters and Norton comedy camp guide Beth Stelling Beth Russell Peterson, Norton comedy camp guide, Beth Stelling, Beth

Stelling. I like Beth Stone that I like Beth. I love Beth. That is hilarious. It's great. It's unbelievable. You don't even know her. I'm fine. Of course, I don't even know her. Is that it? Of course. What's her middle name? Sarah. He goes, here's just again, and it is it's Beth. Peter Stelling love Beth. Well, it again, and it is. It's Beth Peterstelling. Love Beth. Who else?

Is that it? Life and Beth. That's it. But you wanna be in it? Those, what a show. That you wanna be in it? I do. All right.

I'm in. All right. I just got pulled. We saw it. This is on camera. I can't get out of this, Bobby. No. I'm in.

No, you can get out of something on camera. We cut Lewis right the fuck out of it. When are you filming? When are you filming? August. August. Where is it. We cut Lewis right the fuck. What are you filming? What are you filming? August August. Yeah, where is it in Canada in the woods? I'm down five five days Yeah, 24 hours a day. No at you. No cutting no editing. No shit. What are you doing? Like naked and afraid where they have to survive Hey Beth selling She's like, I'm afraid. I'm the afraid part. Hey, Beth's telling. Hey, Beth.

Pretty crazy we're not wearing clothes. She goes, that's not part of this at all. You know what I love about this segment? It feels like you're both getting into something that you don't want. You don't want to do this and you don't want to have them. And it's just fun to watch. If we did a side segment where I go, you want to meet me for coffee at 4am tomorrow morning? And you're going, yeah. It's like you're both bum If we did a side segment where I go, you want to meet me for coffee at 4 AM tomorrow morning?

And you're going, yeah. It's like you're both bummed out, but you can't blink. I'm, they're playing chicken. I swear to God. I can't have this maniac in my film. And then Lewis is like, I want to be in the woods. I want to be on a fucking TV show in the woods. He just has to be himself.

He doesn't have to play anything. I'm telling you right now, Lewis will be the star of this show. Star. Russell Peters, Russell Peters Peters. I'm gonna be wearing Russell Peters skin over my face by day three.

Not at all. You guys are gonna be in a woods fight. I'm like, you think you can hunt more tigers than me, Russell Peters? But you don't know that you're tricked like a tiger. Russell Peters is like, all I have to do is this one thing. And Lewis is like, I'm gonna come, I'm gonna go attack with all that.

I'm tired, I'm getting sleepy. I'm tired. I'm tired, I'm getting sleepy. I'm tired, I'm getting sleepy. I'm tired, I'm getting sleepy. I'm tired, I'm getting sleepy. I'm tired, I'm getting sleepy. I'm tired, I'm getting sleepy.

I'm tired, I'm getting sleepy. I'm tired, I'm getting sleepy. I'm tired, I'm getting sleepy. I'm tired, I'm getting sleepy. I'm tired, I'm getting sleepy. I'm tired, I'm getting sleepy. I'm tired, I'm getting sleepy. I'm tired, I'm getting sleepy.

I'm tired, I'm getting sleepy. I'm tired, I'm getting sleepy. I'm tired, I'm getting sleepy. I'm tired, I'm getting sleepy. I'm tired, I'm getting sleepy. I'm tired, I'm getting sleepy. I'm tired, I'm gonna fucking attack you. As your body's like, hey, my star, I'm gonna fucking attack you. Every time I get too aggressive, also Peter just pulls out a flute. Not today, Louis, not today, not today, my friend. No drugs. If I grow them myself, there are. That's not five days.

Dude, it's me, first of all, a big portion of it is gonna be me searching for mushrooms and weed in the woods. Hey Beth, you wanna come forge with me? She goes, no, I'm good. Me trying to get Beth to be alone with me the whole time. Hey Beth, I think I found a pretty cool waterfall. He just wanted to fucking Norton. Oh, Norton's in it? Yeah.

Wow. What? Star-studded event. It's pretty good. Yeah. Pretty good. I'm excited to watch it. August, filming in August in the woods is gross. That humidity is gonna be off the charts.

No, not in Canada. Ah. Where in Canada? It should be cold. It's in- Nova Scotia? Oh boy, it's my wife. This is producers like, did you just give Louis J.Cole?

Hey sorry, I'm on the live feed right now. And did you just promise the fourth spot? I had Tiffany Haddish lined up for that. Haddish would be great. Haddish would be the star. Haddish would be the star of it. Should be great. It should be molesting little kids.

Miss Pat would quit an hour in. Miss Pat rules. Dude, I would fucking, I'll crush it. I will be the funniest, I'll be the fucking most survivally. Does somebody win? What's the premise? Survivally means he's gonna be the first one out. Can we give away the whole premise here? Yeah, it's just you got

a medium is doing survivor. It's five days up in the woods, no phones, no cell phone, no, no, no topics. Are you one of the comics? And no, I'm one of the guy running it. We have two, we have two survival people that are going to be up there with us. You have to do. You have to know survival. Here's my quote. No, you're going to need that. You need that. You're going to need us you have to do you have to know no survival. Here's my question Oh, you're gonna need that you need that you're gonna need a med-vac you want a survivor get Ari's dad That's fine Not that type of survivor

He goes Lewis didn't know it. No, I got it dog. Hell. I just very sad that he lives Jesus Christ. Yeah, you're gonna need ex bumming me out that he further we didn't get him is but there's our prize is there a You're going to need experts. He's bumming me out that we didn't get him. But is there a prize? Is there a? Yeah, whoever. You get a Tonight Show spot? Whoever completes the tasks the best at the end of it

wins Comedy Camp. But what is the prize? Is there a $100,000 cash prize? Is it $10,000 prize to your charity? That's trash. Yeah. Trash prize. Get to be a guest on Regs.

To a charity or choice. Louis Burping going, that's a trash prize. You know what I'm saying? He. To a charity. Louis Burping going, that's trash price. What do you want money? Yeah I think a hundred thousand dollars would be nice. That's insane. Who's funding that? No. A hundred thousand dollars.

It's a pretty low rent show for a ten thousand dollars. Yeah it's fucking, it's a pilot. It's a pilot. Can I just say, you need to say. It's a pilot. Then we need to lie and say it's more money. Okay, it's $300,000. Oh, you know what you do?

Take a nut, like convert it to like pay us. Oh dude, it's three billion rupees. It's $300,000, but you can either keep it. You can either keep it or give it to a charity. That's funny. Did you just make that detail up just now? Yeah. Yeah. Did you just improv that detail up just now? Yeah. She was improv that's a great detail. At the end, you put him on the spot. You can Joe and I that's so funny. Can Joe and I dress up like yetis and

scare people at night? Yeah. Naked yetis. What are you doing? Part in the sun. You know about the naked yeti? Hey, Beth telling I'm a yeti. That was Chris Walsh's character for years back in the day. What is it? He just walked through naked call it the naked yeti now you get arrested for it But it was very funny back and then he was great in the movie too. Yeah, he's awesome He's awesome. Is there anyone that hasn't been in this movie? I wasn't you and wasn't it and wasn't it wasn't even considered to be an awesome that make you feel better Well, you couldn't have afforded Dan. It's true. I mean, I think he would have done it. It was a lot. He cost billions

pretty good, but my standard rate is pretty. Are they doing billions? I don't trillions and all the other. No idea. Are they doing a billions movie? I was not yet billions. The movie would be great. That's great, dude. Can they do like tongue in cheek like the Brady bunch? Yeah, other people playing other people. This is comic actors playing the I would love that. Can they do a thousands and me and Lewis can start? Yeah, it'd probably be me. That would be my show. Tens. I heard they were doing like trillions. I think they got green lit for it. I have no idea. Are you going to be in it? No,

not that I know. You know, no, I sort of got. I don't know. Well, I mean, you would know if you were in it. I'm still waiting to deal with this nightmare that's been this fucking cartoon we wrote with the WWE. It's been a nightmare. The idea that me and you originally conceptualized and you stole and sold it at me? Wow.

Wow. That's not added in. Oh, really? They were working at a black law firm in our pilot? Yeah. Was that really? Was that what happened? A black law firm.

Is that exactly what it was? With Miss Pat. That was in the pilot. Miss Pat was the star. that was that black one for yeah? Is that exactly what it was with Miss Pat? That was in the pilot? Miss Pat was the star. We had no black people in the show. There was no black people because I said there was no black people. You had a pilot? You guys know we wrote a show about our family of wrestlers. I am just kidding, but you did get really defensive, which is because I got mad because I for a second I went like this. Oh shit.

Then I was like, Oh no, it's a completely. I assumed you would never do that, but now I'm getting a little self-conscious of maybe you did. We're leaving today, we're going, bye Lewis. And then I go home looking for the notes. I'm like, oh here they are. It was good, we did write a pretty funny cartoon.

We had a great, by the way. It was like American Dad was like a pro wrestling fan. Can I tell a story that I'm embarrassed about every time I think about and Lewis called me out about? The time I. That and Louis called me out about? The time I That was pretty bad. Edit. Oh God.

So we had a meeting with The fuck is it? We had a meeting. This is one of the douchiest things I did and Louis called me out immediately and I was like, I'm gonna go hang myself. I wanna know what it is. We had a meeting with Seven Bucks,

the Rocks production company, because they wanted to read our script about this cartoon of a family of wrestlers. And so Lewis and I wrote it, and then we had a meeting with one of the head guys at Seven Bucks, and we were talking about the show or whatever, and we were like, well, you know, The Rock, it'd be cool

to have him involved or whatever, and they kept calling The Rock DJ. And then at one point in the meeting, I go, well, if DJ reads it or whatever, and then Lewis goes, did you just call him DJ and I was like fuck and I think about that sometimes like why did I do that it's those years ago yeah makes my pee hole fucking shut DJ Tanner yep and this is what the podcast this is it we fucking stumble out of control.

So excited. We get the zoomies. We got to not freak out if there's a moment. We don't funny. No, we don't have this. What happens every time there's a moment of not funny. And then everyone goes, this is what it is. We just devolve into into suck we fuck up and Rogan and them they devolve into suck All the time stop comparing but they never they never say comparing people compare and despair. Yeah I'm just saying sometimes you some silence can happen on the show. It's not a serene ones of the group I Don't compare do you listen to protect our parks? Never. I'd kill myself. Why? They fucking trash me last time. What? Because of the video? Yeah. That video, I mean it got out there.

I thought you only showed us and I'm not gonna lie when I tell you I was a little Showed Jay on the bonfire. I showed you. I had Jay on the bonfire was gonna protect our parks. Well, they took it Ari. That's bone to pick Ari to show it on bone to pick. No, you sure? No, did you say show it on you know what dude? Can anything just be for now? We did it we did it we didn't show it on you know what dude can anything just It was for this something be sacred Ari took it. I went my Ari took it. It's pretty from Jay. I something be sacred Ari took it I went I Ari took it from Jay I think Jay gave it to him and then he brought it on the show and then those he continued he trashed me for a big long fucking time that piece of shit who Norman did you

say anything when he was doing the beginning of this episode he did not do the beginning of this episode. He did not do the beginning of this episode. Natalie, Mark Norman will be edited out of the beginning of this episode. No, you won't. Joe, is he in the bonus? But you don't give him that. No, you're not anything. You put it in at the end, put it on Punch Up Live. Put the beginning at the end. 12 minutes with Mark Norman on Punch Up Live. Go watch the new podcast. It's pretty cool. Enjoy it. I premiered voices I didn didn't never thought I could do that. You never did on this

show ever. Oh great. That's crazy. A perfect Goldie Hawn. Who does a perfect going on me? We also got knocked out of the fucking the joke world, uh, top 32 fucking podcasts very early. What? What's that mean? What is that? They did like a bracket for the top podcasts and the regs was on there.

The regs was on there and we got knocked out pretty fucking. To who? Trying to find that. I don't remember who we lost to but it's crazy. I want you to find out who it was and I want to watch all of their clips. I want to go over film and then I want to study so that next March we don't look like a couple

of fucking idiots. We're not idiot losers What is it? What is the competition? It's for who's the best ever who made this? It's whose daddy's loved them the most and we're gonna win that fans voted but who came up with the competition joke world What is joke world? His name is Phineas Jackson Joe home Maybe yeah, I I mean there's like a bracket they have specifically so if you look on their social media find what I want to know Robert and look for it was Joe's been sitting here and I don't think it's over yet I know I know the top four was doing like a March

Madness then Matt and Shane Legion of skanks we might be drunk and then take your shoes off let's take your shoes on Rick Glassman. Yeah, only West Coast. I'm a poor man. Joe list the the only West Coast podcast on there. Yeah, and we might be drunk. I mean no offense to Mark and Sam, but who the fuck would watch that show? That's crazy. I have guests. It's crazy. Yeah, good guests, real good guests. My God, who who's the personality one? Who dress up like macho man. Legion of skanks made it to the final four? Yeah, because they're throwing rocks at buses, dude.

Legion of skanks over the rigs? Dude, the thought of you guys dropping a bowling ball off a highway is actually a thing that I think you would do on that podcast. Dude, new pit idea. Dude, I just watched The Good Son. I think I got like seven fucking killer podcast ideas. We're gonna throw a little girl on to thin ice. I think it's time jay's holding me and dave and you got to decide. We should

accept that they're not going to be pulling this up at all. It's like lewis. You keep looking. They got it right there. It is who we get beat by a lot. The regs there is the regs for versus whiskey fucking ginger solo Santino podcast. Friends and whiskey ginger beat us right now. Oh, Matt and Shane's beat real ass podcast. Joe Rogan experience went out in the first round. Yo, the lemon party that's rough. Oh, Tuesdays with stories lost to Legion of Skanks. No, we lost to Stavis world. What I mean, there you go, dude. That's why you know the people

who follow joke world are the worst comedy fans in the fucking world based off of these brackets. Wow, no, and I love joke world. He's the fucking man dude, but the people that follow it are all like West Coast and Austin comedy fans. They're a bunch of we might be drunk. Who do we might be drunk having the first round? They got being being Ian with whatever and I got a rose. I do up against a stop rose. That's seeding baby. That's just seeding. That's fucked up. You were doing an eight, nine and they had a two fifteen. Yeah, I did. What's this? Where we at NASA? The finals yet or no? Yeah, these

are the final four. Final four. The Legion. You're in it. Legion of Skanks and Matt and Shane's Secret Podcasts heading for another clash. Another clash at the end. Wait, remind me again who's Take Your Shoes Off? Rick Glassman, very funny comic from LA. I love Rick. I like Rick. I like Rick a lot.

What I watch of him has been pretty funny. He's very funny. He's a good guy. Really awesome. He was on that Bobby Althoff show. Yeah. Which, that chick is like. Hers with Santino's is great.

Santino's so goddamn funny. She's pretty funny. I wanted to hate her. Santino's a man. He's just fucking he's a New York guy that lives in LA. That's just what it is. He has the personality of a New York guy. Might be moving here. You better. Whoa. I fucking better. Yeah, that Bobby Altaf chick. Yeah, she's funny. She does. She has a dry between two ferns with rappers. It's all a character she does. And then the rumor is that she cheated on her husband with Drake.

No way. Her husband... Nickelodeon kid? The kid that got raped. So she did a podcast with Drake, she went over to his place and she did the podcast in his bed. Yeah, and he's got a giant thong. And her whole thing is like she doesn't give a fuck. So she's like, yeah, whatever, like Drake,

you think you're special or whatever. And it was great. She did the interview with him. But apparently like the husband filed for divorce and he saved the same date as the separation as the date the podcast came out. And then there's like all these rumors that she like fucked Drake.

And then she like won't make a public comment on it. Like it's fucking weird as fuck, doggy. And she's kind of, she's kind of hot. She's kind of under the radar hot dude. If you're, but if you, if your girl got banged out by Drake and that's it, you'd be like, I don't know. I got it. We got a, I can't, I love it. I love it too. Yeah. No. Love. She fucked up buddy. If dog got banged out by Drake, it'd be great. I'd be happy for him. Don and Drake show. Yeah, that'd be great.

That'd be so funny if Max is like, hey dad, we're moving to Toronto. Like Don's just got crazy fire pussy and Drake's like, I need this. OVO, you're living with me, dude. Get ready. Your son's always wearing owls on him and shit. He's like, yo dad, the Toronto Raptors is mad ill.

Yeah. Hey dad, I don't want to go to your tiny house. New dad's got a big house. If he bought my tiny house and ripped it down. His, him jerking himself off on his plane and his big dicks flopping around. It just looks like you're like, it's not a plane? Yeah, that was like taken in the bedroom of his plane. Really?

Yeah, no. Yeah, private plane, of his plane. I really, yeah. No, yeah. Private plane bedroom. Yeah. Big old fucking hog. Yeah. And fucking a lady in a sky. I liked that he had a discolored skin towards his asshole though.

That made me feel good. Would you break it down like the Zephrod? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The fuck, I just saw a big wiener flopping around and you're like, it's like a hose shooting everywhere. So funny when I'm turned on, like I'll send a girl like a photo of me like stroking my cock. And then like, it's like a hose shooting everywhere. So funny, when I'm turned on, I'll send a girl a photo of me stroking my cock, and then I really have the confidence,

like I have a big old fucking arm. Oh, oh, look what I accidentally found. Oh. Look at this, he's got a big piece. I think out of all of us, you have the biggest piece. No, Dan's got, I don't have, no, Jay overhyped that. I peed next to Dan, I've seen his, he's got a fucking hammer in between his legs. Sutter I've seen this he's gonna be my penis hammer in between so they're seeing mine

He's got a good penis. He got he's got a he's got a thick dick. He's gonna All right cock he came out of the shower semi hard as a joke Montreal in Montreal He's like yeah like that. I was like nice cut. I think that's what I said. I go get a good piece Lewis has a Lewis has a big Good a thick cut. He has a bigger dick than Joe. I've seen your Dick and I've seen his Dick, but you've never seen mine in its lower. I've seen it hard. He's seen in a glory hole. Every time you fucking FaceTime me, you have your Dick out. Yeah. But that's like the joke card, but the DeRosa ones are the best.

What? When he multiple Dicks and he FaceTimes you and he just pulls back and he's naked. You're like, he'll, he has, he has multiple dicks. And he FaceTimes you, and he just pulls back, and he's naked, you're like, yo. He has an awful dick. Yeah, but I bet he uses it well. DeRose has built like, he looks like he has the same torso as those two conjoined twins that just got married. How has no one interviewed that guy?

How has no one interviewed that guy that's just out here out in public being like, he's got two fucking shoulders. Like he should have a brother with a brother's head in his ribs. Yeah. The guy that married the conjoined twins, you're like, no one's asking you, no one's pulling you aside and going, what are you into? What are you really into threesomes? No, no, I'm into threesomes. That's not a threesome. That's no, that's an uncooked. While you're making out with the other chick, she's not a threesome. That's it is. No, that's an uncooked. You get a check doing that while you're

making out with the other chick. She's looking at you like this. I'm into the group. So you guys have threesomes? No damn. You and Katie don't have threesomes. No. Can you pussy? I you on in? Yeah, why not? Me and you and the Katie's just in this corner looking at Twitter. Would you out of us three? Would you pick to do a threesome? Great question. Great double team Joe has herpes, but you can get vaccinated and shit for your vaccinated from herpes. No,

Lewis almost just ran out. Please. Right now. So what's out there like a beast escapes and you just go to leave my girlfriend. There's going to be a Lewis shaped hole in the wall. And he's just like, I gotta go get that vaccine. Oh, my God. The only thing I would think about, I honestly probably might say Bobby, because I feel like Bobby Lewis is going to just take your chip. Lewis is just

going to pound your chick in front of you and you're going to be like, why does this feel aggressive? Bobby feels like he might like they'd be like kissing or you'd be like, Oh, this is sensual. Bobby's like 61. I know that 61. It's like a, it's like a daddy. I would tell her I would tell her no kissing. I'd be like a hooker in the eighties. I'm not taking her to fucking pound town, Puerto Rico. I'm gonna be like, look, I'm going to sucked in while I work back here. No, I'm just gonna suck you. You're out of here.

Bye, Louis. Bye, Joe. I'm right here with Robert, centrally kissing. All of us are kissing. Who would you pick to double team your chick? What are you crazy? You pick Lewis to double team your chick. Yeah, you wanna, cause you wanted a calm heart. I want you to calm her.

You wanted a fucking archer back and you know what I mean? Yeah, Lewis is a lover. Lewis is like, gah! I'm bringing you fucking dorks in. Gah! Who would you pick? I don't want Dawn to get gorilla fucked. Pay it forward, come on, you hit me back. You got a lover. I'm bringing you fucking dorks in. Who would you pick? I don't want Don to get gorilla fucked. Pay it forward, come on, you hit me back. You got a herpes.

I'm on the pill. Lewis, I do want you to know, if you pick me, it doesn't necessarily have to be me. Have you ever had a two guy, one girl, through some with Rodney Dangerfield? That is funny. I'm telling you, your chicks sucking my pecker. We had a two guy one girl threesome with Rodney Dangerfield. We're going, oh, I'm telling you, your chicks sucking my pecker.

She's giving me tons of respect. I'm getting all the respect. Now there's a question, which character would you want to have a threesome with? That's a subcategory. American Indian, American Indian, Dan. Maybe like, for when there are two braves for one squaw, that is when the snake knows that the eagle

serves above. For there are three holes, two pegs. That is just sex math. What are you, just gonna leave me hanging here? For there is two in the pink and one in the stink. I'm definitely not picking herpes. I'd let you officiate my wedding, guys. Doesn't matter. Dude, that'd be great if, I'm thinking not picking herpes. I you I'd let you officiate my wedding Real and you're like trying to both banged on you go, come on, dude you officiated my wedding now Joe's energy is too fucking

One moment Joe's energy would make me go. What are we doing? Yeah, I don't He threw a quip in are you gonna do with that dick? Three so more like a me some give me some and then you're like, give me I'm out. Yeah It would probably be I mean Lou is appealing. I'm gonna tell you this Don. I know Don likes tattooed men Even if it wasn't restricted to even if it wasn't restricted to the four of us, I would pick Lewis. Even if we could open this up. If it was just any man, I would take Lewis. Yeah, Lewis is a tremendous lover. I don't know. Lewis is a good lover and he already knows Max. Lewis might be the number one answer. Max wouldn't come up and be like, what are

you doing here? You're sucking your son with it. Yeah, it would be more convenient. Just because, yeah. You go, Max, you and James go play. The other thing with me, I gotta be honest with you guys, is why I'm the best out of everything. Because your girl's not leaving you for me. She's just gonna enjoy the night.

Because she knows she's a problem. Yeah, that's how great she's gonna enjoy the night. Don would leave me for you. And You would almost go, you know, I think I'm older and older dudes. Bobby, I like a tiny house. Yeah, I'm going to walk away from it. He just, she go, he's still an animal, but I got pounded out. Yeah, yeah. You got, yeah. Lewis is the, I have to get a vaccine now, but that was fun. Yeah. Joe, don't would be like, she was honestly, I don't want you to ever bring him up again

But I'm glad that happened Josh Joe Katie and I are both smoking at the end of the bed going It's like three six months is the dormant period. Yeah, we're gonna fuck if you're not break You have to tell me if you have an outbreak you have to tell I will come on to the kitchen But he doesn't shut the fuck up. He just talks Yeah, Joe, you're not that's place Joe last place fair I want to have a threesome with y'all's ladies anyways Which girl which girl which girl? Out of the three if I if I

Know what kind of swapping you can pick the girls Have to that's a better question you have to swap with one of the guys. So it's not just who you want to fuck. No offense guys, Lewis. I mean we all fucking. Lewis. Everyone goes, I'm Lewis. But it's also, it's all, listen, listen, listen. It's not only who's girl. I'm Lewis.

It may be. Oh yeah, yeah, let's do it again. Lewis. It's not only who's girl you want to fuck, but it's also who are you willing to let fuck your girl. Listen, we've already walked here. Lewis. Can I say something? No, we've already walked here. Lewis.

Can I say something though? I would say this. You go like this. I would talk. I would. Lewis, I go, oh, enchanté. I would pick Kate. Yeah, she's the best.

Yeah, Kate, I would pick Kate, because she's the best. She's the best. She's Boston. That's why I'm afraid she would leave you. Yeah, she's kind of. Like his girl's too much. I don't have the, was able to it's a real

We talk about them on the drive home or we go a little weird. Do we do that stuff? You know that relationship but Sarah though is Sarah's she's got a little something. You know what I mean? She's Sarah does not have her piece. I always want to make this clear if I die I want people to be able to fuck Yeah, I wanted to get fucked even if I don I die, I want people to be able to fuck me. You know? That's smart. That's real good. I want her to get fucked. Even if I don't die, I like that. If I die, I will hunt you. So don't fuck my lady.

Yeah, I think I'd pick your girl. Your girl's. Katie's the best. She's hot. She's pretty hot. Cool. Hot, smart. Funny.

Yeah. His girl would leave me in a week. Oh my God. I mean, yeah, there's no, she would be like, you do zero exercise? And I go, yeah, but I'm really good at this new game. Sifu. It's like Kung Fu game. I don't want a girl that's going to push back on my sports opinions. That seems awful. No, Katie. I would like to do that. I'm like, they fucking socks.

Actually, they could win the pet. I'd be like, what? That's a conversation. That's not pushing. I don't want a conversation about sports. I would like talking about sports. Like it becomes very gay, very sports. It's it becomes very gay, very quick. It's because you're next thing on my next thing. I'm going to my legs are behind my head. I'm getting pounded and pegged. She's like, Oh, oh, I'm doing it. Yeah, I don't want to watch the game behind your back. It is funny.

Jay said that this was the only relationship where she leaves to go watch sports. She's like, I go watch baseball and I'm like, wrestling's on that would be fun. Yeah, just one of the guys. I don't like that. I don't like a gal. That's just one of the guys. Cool. I don't mind that. Your girl's too high maintenance. Norton likes that well in the physical sense. We all like everyone's okay with it, but still nobody's make. Why

are we not making fun of Jim ever? It's obviously fucking great. Mom, glad he found love, but we should all be able to make fun of him, right? Cause she's hot. That is that it. Yeah. If she looked like you, we'd be making fun of that. He was bringing around someone like you. You bet. Jim, what's going on? What's up buddy's up buddy yeah yeah yeah don't make fun of a guy's fucking partner choice yeah we've been doing it this whole fucking liberal Joe liberal Joe liberal Joe hey I think that's compassionate yeah I think it's come passionate hey I think she's hot she's she's pretty hot yeah yeah guys I just I think it's hilarious. She's she's pretty hot. Yeah. Yeah guys I just I think it's hilarious. I'm watching him do couples content and we all accept it because she's trans

The only reason we're not calling him a f*** is because she's trans Couples content with we would be trashing him. What are you doing Jim? I don't think that but I don't know if he's gay I'm not saying he's gay. He's happy. I'm saying that if he was just that't know if he's gay. No, I'm not saying, I'm not saying he's gay. He's happy. I'm saying that if he was just, That's gay. If he was just with a chick, that was just a normal chick, not a trans chick.

And he started doing fucking like funny sketches with her on his Instagram. Everyone would be trashing him. You know what's funny is every time someone does that, cause a couple of our friends did it during the pandemic, you go like, Sam Morrill. Yeah. But you go like, Oh, Sam Morrill. Oh, it sucks. pandemic, you go like Sam Morrill. Yeah. Oh, it sucks.

Well, couples, couples, couples, content, content sucks. Now, I might know my, my, my, sometimes some good sketches every time I post a picture of my girlfriend on Instagram, people always post center. They're like, dude, I thought couples content's good. That's not couples content. Posting a picture with your father. Yeah. That one time that I was saying was saying, I was like making fun of, I was making fun of comics who hide behind shock material, and now anytime anything's shocking, like,

isn't that a little shocking? You're like, that's not the point I was making. No, I know. It's a different point. What shock material? Like I said, comics that, edgy. Like people that hide behind edge.

That's what I was saying. Comedy couples aren't funny. You ever hear of Nichols in May? I'm gonna need you to go back to the thirties. Yeah, more like the sixties. No, but if you and Sarah were doing like Joe's energy sketches, if you and Sarah were doing couple sketches, they do sketches. Did you? Yes. And so you back you and Katie. I can't do a lot. I think Sarah, I never seen Becky. I never seen

back. You and Katie's couple guys, but I promise you these things. There's a couple good ones. really do couple sketches. I'd never seen Becky, I'd never seen Becky on and Katie's couple of guys, but I promise you they stink. There's a couple good ones. Shut up, Dan. They do a lot. Dan, Dan. There's two good ones. Corporate Dan.

There's a couple good ones, guys, and don't forget, it's November. I want to push back on that. I hate this idea of like, any one comedy sucks. People are like, Ari's like like jokes about kids fucking blow. That's not true. And then it's like couples comedy sucks or edgy. There's good comedy and bad comedy. Yeah. All right, Joe, where's your couples content? Let's judge it.

I don't have couples content. This is a row. I mean, we did one sketch about COVID, which was funny. But that's what I'm saying. That was probably a couple. It wasn't a couple content. It was two people. We happened to be married. And you guys did roast battle. We did roast battles. That's technically couples content. That's funny though. saying. That was probably a couple wasn't a couple content was two people we happen. You guys did roast battle We did roast that three couples car that we're talking about they're roasting each other roast battle. Yeah, that's what I'm fucking hosted roast battle for five years Right Yeah, why did you go?

You're right He triggered something that smokes more weed Are you fine? I'm I'm high on life the weed that I smoked earlier saying I hate when people are like, are you fine? I'm high on life. The weed that I smoked earlier. I hope you get hit by a bus. Hey, don't put this on. I don't want to watch stand up comedy.

If it happened. The disc clip will haunt you. You're gonna have this clip on loop in your little cabin. Me and Katie. Max is gonna come out. Max is gonna be like, new step mom's mean. I have to piss really bad. I'm thirsty.

We're done. I want to go see my dog. We're done. We got two minutes. Two minutes? Yeah, it's going to take 20 minutes. It takes 20 minutes to wrap up, you know that. It takes 20 minutes to wrap up.

You do be knowing that, Lewis. We never wrap up. You say we wrap up, it takes 20 minutes. All right, here's how we wrap up. Lewis, real quick, crash course, two minute crash course, how do I walk into this CVS and get my money for that fucking gift card that I left? wrap up a pig. Let's wrap up. Lewis real quick crash course, two minute crash course. How do I walk into this CVS and get my money for that fucking gift card that I walk in and go, Hey, I left my card and she's going to go, Oh yeah, I saved it for you. And you're

just going to get it. Great. That's it. Just walk in and go, Hey, I bought a card. Here's my receipt. I would say I left it here. She's going to be like, Oh yeah, you did. Here it is. I would also throw in just a quick little lie. Don't do it. Hear me out. You're straight. Don't do it.

See, I'm straight and I left the card here earlier. No, you have to say you called earlier and spoke with someone. Hell, I like that. Don't do that. Don't lie. Don't let me. Can I finish? He asked me for the crash course.

Go ahead and finish. He asked all of us. No, he didn't, Bob. He specifically said, Louis, can I finish? He asked me for the crash course. Go ahead and finish. He asked all of us. No he didn't, Bob. He specifically said, Louis, can I have a crash course? And this is why I'm gonna survive for five days in fucking the woods of Toronto. Five days. What?

Yeah, that's why I'm surviving. I'm a survivor. I'm gonna give up. You call first, you say, hey, I called, I spoke with somebody earlier. This would be every time I asked for a late checkout. I called down, I was like, yeah, I spoke with somebody earlier. This would be every time I asked for a late checkout. I called down, I was like, yeah, I spoke with somebody yesterday,

I just wanted to confirm I have a late checkout today. They told me two o'clock is okay. That's good. I gotta become a lying piece of shit. You gotta lie, you gotta lie, dude. And then what's gonna happen, then you put it on them, because then if they can't find it, then they go, fuck, you spoke with somebody,

and then they're going, well, now we gotta fucking make this work. Or you could just go and say I left my card here, I bought it, here's my receipt. And she's gonna go oh yeah, here it is. If you never lie, you never have anything to remember. But if she scanned it and they took it out, the receipt doesn't mean anything.

Like what if it can be used already? Can they deactivate that card? Why don't you just go in, it's New York, go in and take one. What are they gonna do? They have to activate it. They're not gonna fuck, oh they gotta activate it. They're not gonna suspect. Did she gonna activate they're not gonna suspect she activated. Yeah, it's gone

Well, she's left it on the counter. Yeah, I think this whole thing's a lie Pull a gun Wow, let me see that you just put your credit card on the screen I know you didn't I like the other receipt prints out your credit card on the screen. You fucking idiot. No I didn't. I know you didn't. I like the way the receipt prints out your credit card. That's funny. Alright we're wrapping up folks. DanSoda.com

Yeah the regs. Every two months we do an episode. No, every two weeks. Fuck. Well the next time Joe's out of town so I don't know. DanSoda.com. You want to pull up the dates again? I am out of town the day we're supposed to record next.

Nobody ever responded. We'll figure out the next one. Make sure you go to all our websites. Make sure you subscribe, review, like, comment. Go to our social media too. Go to YouTube, go to our social media. Click on that. Tell us who you want as a guest.

Yeah. Dansota's going to be in Omaha funny bone. He's going to DC improv. Then he's going to the comedy connection. Go to dance soda.com for all your tickets. We got Joe list is going to be in Burlington at higher grounds, Vermont Buffalo. Then he's going to Los Angeles. Make sure you go to punchup.live slash Joe list slash tickets and become a member. And that way can send you emails fuck you as soon as he knows where He's gonna be I'll send him right to you done Of course Louis Jay Gomez funny bone he's gonna be at the American Comedy Club the improv wise guys comedy club uncle Vinny's

He's gonna be at the cities here. What you said the cities Funny bones everywhere those wise guys everywhere. They're going they're going They'll know where to go. They're going to go to your website. Vegas, St. Louis, Pointe Plaza, go down. Louis J. Gomez. Why do you want to, every time I fucking do it, you got to yap. Well, because you did everyone's plugs good, and then maybe you're just like. No, I did them the same thing. I did the same thing for everybody.

I said the club. New Orleans. Uncle Vinny's is a great club, but it is funny that the first club on your list is DePaulo's go-to joke club. It's not the first club. It's down in fucking June. It's a great club. It's a great club, but it is funny that the first club on your list is DePalo's go-to joke club It's not the first club. It's down in fucking June. It's a great club. It's a great club That's why I preface this but it's okay that that was his skyline comedy Cabin go to Luis J Gomez Louis of skanks Lewis of skanks comm check out his stand-up and go to punchup.live slash Robert Kelly slash tickets for all my dates

Houston and Austin San Antonio. I'm gonna be in Boston Boston tickets go now get those tickets at laugh Boston. Hey, can we get Joe list on comics come home? Yeah, what do I gotta do? What do we got a literal comic coming home? Joe lists has never done comics come home in Boston. It's an outrage. Can I also get on comics come come? Come come. Come come. Come come. Come come. Come come. Come come. Come come. Come come. Come come. Come come. But I am from Boston. I want Louis to get on comics come home. We love you guys. We'll see you next episode when Bobby gives me 520s. I'm gonna give you 520s today. We'll see you guys next time on the regs. It's not, it's not. Listen to me.

Steve Martin. Are you rolling? Waa-Waa. Yes. Yes. Well, he's making fun of bad comedy. No one did that. Listen, yeah, first of all, yes, it's been done.

Not in 1975. You thought, the, the, the, it's been done. Not in 1975. You thought, the, the, the, Plains Trains Automobiles was the most, I can't watch it. My anxiety level, just get that fat fuck out of your life. But don't, but don't you think now, with comedy being respected, and I've said this other places, and I feel like I have to press this.

Yeah, it's real respected. 52 specials were out last week. John Candy would have been nominated for Academy Award. John Candy would have gotten an Oscar nomination. Might have. He killed it. He's amazing. John Candy, great.

Okay, fine, but Steve Martin, that movie, first of all, was stressful as hell. Everything didn't need to happen. $75 for, there's nine cabs going by him as he's fucking paying the guy $75. Well, it's a film. Funny. Kevin Bacon, cameo.

It's drama. And the jerk. He plays a straight a funny Kevin Bacon cameo. It's drama and the jerk. He plays a straight man in the drink. The jerk is great. Nova Cain's great. It's dramatic. You ever seen Nova Cain? No. Oh, he's a dentist. You know what I watched last night that sucked. No mother's ass. No. You know what I watched last night that Max told me to watch

that made me watch. Blue's Fourth of July. He made you watch the movie last night, 12 o'clock. He goes, what's that movie? Joe and you and we watched it. I go, you want me to fast forward to my parts? He goes, no, I like it. He liked the movie, loved it.

Hey, love really sweet. Maybe it'll be like a hit later down the road. He loved the movie and he, he, uh, he goes, why did Joe yell at everybody like that? Oh, wow. Oh, wow. He didn't get it. That's gonna be him. No, it's not.

Fuck, he's such a dickhead. You should get him to watch the Nickelodeon doc. Steve Martin not as funny. I mean, seriously, name one funny thing. I'm talking standup though, his standup. Have you watched the doc? His standup's funny. I think it's great.

What are you kidding? It's incredible. He sold out the Nassau Coliseum six times. I know four people have done it that aren't funny. One beef I have with that doc though. He always does that. I guess you gotta tell a story. I've done it.

You know, soda, you've been replaced. Don't get confused. I'm leaving. I was like, we got a soda? One, uh. We traded boots for Norton? Did you watch the soda, the soda doc, the Steve Martin doc yet?

No, what's that? That's incredible. It's on Apple TV. It's pretty amazing. Incredible. I've only watched the first half, but the first half is all stand up. But one part that bothers me, he goes, I did the SNL and then Monday,

I had a show Monday, the next day. He goes, I guess it ends on Sunday. He goes, the next day I had a show, I go, how many people are there? The guy goes, 7,000. And I was like, what? But I'm like, you are booked in a 7,000 seat venue. You know the venue.

I hate when people do this thing of like, and then I just couldn't believe it. But I'm like, you were at an arena. Where Louis did that whole thing where he's like, oh boy, no one cared about my standup until 2007. It's like you won an Emmy at the Chris Rock show. You were on the right- That wasn't standup though.

Louis' standup was not, he was alt. I'm leaving. Very alt, dude. I'm leaving. Very alt. Really? Yeah, dude, he was not. Well, just like, but you hear those stories

where people go like, I didn't have a career. He makes it sound like he was like. I agree, I agree, it's a lot of that. It makes it sound like he was like, you were like on the first Conan. He was a union job. He was writing, but he wasn't a star. He was behind the scenes for a star.

He's making money. All right. He made good money. He was making good money, but he was still not giving watches. He was getting watches. When he gave the watch, that's when you're making it. Give me the watch. I hit it up my ass.

When you're handing out Rolexes. I mean, there's a lot of people that do that. Do they go like, what, no, not hand out Rolexes. They act like they're careers. If you ever make it, will you give us all Rolexes? Sure, I'd love to. That YouTube money. I'd love to.

That'll buy a swatch. I'll buy every day. Hey! Happy birthday! Happy birthday! Happy birthday! There he is! All right, I'm outta here.

All right. We did a whole hour.